#fem cartman
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ahem *yurifies your kenman*
#south park#kenman#kenny mccormick#eric cartman#yuri#as in girls who kiss!#fem cartman#fem kenny#erica cartman#shes so me#sp tfbw#mysterion#the coon#dumbasses i hate them lots /pos
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đđ
#Iâm back#Maybe#south park fanart#eric cartman#south park#i posted this on twt just now but then added the background and it looks sm better lmaooo#Weird looking cat#Veri ur fic will always be on the forefront of my mind đ#Fem cartman
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SOUTH PARK BOYS KISSING HEADCANONS
{ ALL CHARACTERS AGED UP!! }
featuring - the main four stan, kyle, eric, kenny, butters, (craigâs gang is next
warnings: both sfw and nsfw headcanons, fem!reader (if youâd like a male/gn ver, feel free to request!), no nsfw for cartman
a/n: sorry guys this isnât my best work, but hey first actual post out of the way :)) my apologies to my cartman girlies, i really struggled to write for him
[NSFW CONTENT BELOW CUT]
[STAN MARSH]
SFW
thanks to wendy heâs semi-experienced when it comes to kissing
definitely a big forehead kisser (giving and receiving)
heâd probably throw up after your first kiss
he 100% throws up before you come over because he knows youâll end up making out
heâll get a goofy grin when you kiss his cheek
blushing like crazy
will have chapped lips the first few times he kisses you
will start wearing chapstick and chewing mints to make it as enjoyable as possible for you
he tried to remember to bring chapstick after the first time
but he was just so excited
eventually stan told him to put some in his bag and he just left it in there for when he sees you
was so prepared for your first kiss
like
heâs been planning this for weeks
wonât tell anybody you kissed him
but everybody will definitely know
i mean
just look at his goofy grin everytime youâre mentioned or in eyeshot
when he gets used to kissing heâll start to lick his lips after a make out session
just to get one more taste of you
constant little pecks
âhelloâ peck
âi love youâ peck
âwhatâs the answer to question B?â peck
âi have to go to the bathroomâ peck
you get the gist
heâs the type to smile the whole time youâre kissing
before, during, after heâs got a huge charlie brown grin
NSFW
heâd love to kiss your thighs
seeing as heâs a thigh lover
the type to kiss your forehead mid-fuck
doesnât matter if heâs going slow or straight up pounding you
you will be receiving many gentle kisses all over your face
he seems like the type of guy to hold your hand while you guys lose your virginities to each other
would probably kiss all of your knuckles
would def kiss you before and after he eats you out
he just wants you to see how good you taste
definitely claims to be freaky and kinky in front of other people but is actually super vanilla
he just wants your body against his and your lips glued together honestly
[KYLE BROFLOVSKI]
SFW
no experience kissing whatsoever
but he read about it
and he figures heâs seen enough kissing in movies and around him to understand the basics
will forget to ask for consent then remember last minute
like
his lips will be just hovering over yours and heâll get so distracted
then heâll suddenly just blurt out
âby the way, can i kiss you?â
â he said after starting to lean in already
so into it
will try and slip his tongue in on the first kiss to see what you do
if you roll with it, heâll just keep going unless you want to stop
if you donât like it, he probably wonât use tongue until you have to explain that he can
âkyle, if i use tongue you can use tongue, it was just weird for the first kissâ
âwhat- wait seriously? so weâve been kissing without tongue for no reason?â
âyeah, dude.â
he wont just blush, his whole face will turn neon red
will start wearing chapstick and chewing mints to make it as enjoyable as possible for you
the type to play with your hair while he slips his tongue down your throat
more of a neck + shoulder kisser, but heâll melt if you kiss his cheek
you kiss his freckles once and suddenly heâs begging you to do it everytime you cuddle
kisses make him feel so loved
will probably accidentally bump heads when he tries to properly make out with you for the first time
needs a little reassurance here and there, maybe some praise
NSFW
biiiiig titty man
will kiss them all over
big or small, doesnât matter
he just adores them
his head will be in your neck the whole time you guys lose your virginities to each other (if youâre a virgin, that is)
youâll leave with hickeyâs all over
heâd be so proud of them too
heâll probably cry after your first time, but he wouldnât let you see it
[ERIC CARTMAN]
SFW
youâre definitely his first girlfriend but not his first kiss
iâm pretty sure he would have bought a kiss from Buttersâ Kissing Company
probably begged his mom to give him the money
heâd be a sloppy kisser
will cry if you nibble his lip too hard
realistically, even though youâre not his first kiss, heâll still have no idea
and he probably wonât be happy about any criticism
heâs a rough kisser at first
seems like the kind to hold your shoulders
more of a peck guy than a make out session type
but when you do make out heâs definitely confidentâalthough he definitely shouldnât be
instead of asking if you liked it, will probably assume he carried
âdonât worry, bae, donât gotta say it, we both know you loved it.â
you chuckle âyeah, i really did.â
âwait seriously? i mean- kewl, duh, obviously. Iâm the king of making out.â
â he says as if itâs not his first time making out with a girl before
heâs the type to try and tease you by not using tongue to see your reaction
if he doesnât get a reaction he will 100% pout
just a big baby in general
heâd never admit that youâre the only one he cares about so much
[KENNY MCCORMICK]
SFW
super experienced in both normal kissing and in full blown making out
heâs experienced in pretty much everything, honestly
his rice purity score is like a -5 considering both his sexual experience and his criminal record
heâd be gentle the first time you guys kiss
he cared about you too much
sloppy kisses when heâs high or drunk
heâs got using tongue down to an art
heâll gently tease your bottom lip a few minutes into the kiss
and then heâll slowly get a little more needy and end up whispering against your lips
âwanna open up fâme, princess?â
yes, he calls you princess
or pookie
honestly heâll just go for whatever gets you blushing, whether thatâs out of embarrassment or being flustered
he legit doesnât care as long as you laugh or smile
anyway when you do part your lips heâs immediately diving in headfirst
will kiss you all over
heâs honestly very loving with his kisses as your relationship progresses
super considerate when it comes to consent
like this man refuses to even make eye contact with you without at least a nod or a yes
okay, maybe an exaggeration
but you get the gist
heâll kiss you anywhere, anytime
middle of english? his tongue will still be down your throat
lunch? letâs sit behind the school so the teachers canât catch us
youâre not in the same class but heâs just craving it? youâll get a notification to go to the janitors closet
sitting with his friends? will kiss you with his all just so they know
heâs
the lucky one there
iâm assuming youâve caught on
this man will not hesitate to kiss you
heâd probably kiss you just to get you to relax (for my moody girliesâwe rise!)
angry? smooch.
sad? smooch.
period cramps getting to you? smooch
super excited? big fat loving smooch
heâll take any excuse to kiss you, in public or in private, doesnât matter
NSFW
we all know kennyâs a boob man
heâll kiss âem
heâll touch âem
heâll make out with you with âem in his hands
just wants to kiss you all over
and when i say that i mean all over
heâll gladly eat you out
heâd call it kitty licks đ
i mean it when i say this man literally WORSHIPS you
honestly, all in all, heâs so horny
like itâs impossible to put just how horny he is into words
be warned,
he will 2000% get a boner from a peck if you hold eye contact after,
or bite your lip,
or lick your lips,
or you literally exist seeing as he thinks youâre the most gorgeous sexy goddess of a woman to ever walk the earth
[BUTTERS STOTCH]
SFW
heâs experienced with kissing considering his kissing company
just as, if not more, experienced than kenny
heâs so respectful with you
very gentle and loving
heâd act like every kiss is the first
heâll get so flustered no matter what you do
after your first make out session heâll probably thank you
âgee, thank you for that sweetie, that was neat-o! youâre real good at kissinâ baby.â
will def have a content smile before after and during
heâd hold you while he kissed your whole face
loves kissing you on your nose
and being kissed right between his eyebrows
heâs the type to kiss your eyelids so every part of you feels loved (đ€ please somebody get that reference)
overall heâs just so loving and gentle with you
NSFW
so can we all agree that butters is a total freak in the sheets?
like heâs the exact opposite of stan
you assume heâs a basic vanilla guy
but really heâs the type to tie you up
heâd never spank you or anything like that
not unless you really wanted him to
the type to refer to sex as love-making
heâll kiss you a lot during it because he needs you to know that the whole dominant thing is an act
he needs you to know that he adores you and kisses the ground you walk on
back to kissingâ
he WILL kiss your ass
literally
like no joke heâs the type to spank you and call you a bitch
then do his little giggle and apologise while kissing it better when itâs all said and done
heâs a huge fan of bathing togetherâboth in a wholesome and not so wholesome way
he just loves how warm it is and how vulnerable you both are
it feels safe for him
thatâs when you both give and receive the most kisses, honestly
he mostly gets kissed so often in the bath because he literally BEGS to have your lips on him
kissing is his foreplay and his aftercare, just to put that out there.
#stan marsh x reader#south park boys#south park boys x reader#south park x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#kenny mccormick#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#south park#south park x y/n#theyre all so silly#theyâre all total hornballs#butters stotch#sp oneshot#sp smut#south park smut#smut#for you#x reader#fem reader#eric cartman#sp cartman#south park cartman#cartmanxreader#eric cartman x reader#kyle broflovski x reader
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(fem!)Kyle
#sp style#fem!kyle broflovski#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#ike broflovski#eric cartman#south park#fan art#my art
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kyman yuri perhaps.. đ„ș
All the things she said ......
#my art#fanart#ask box#south park#kyman#genderbend#fem kyman#kyle broflovski#sp kyle#cartman#eric cartman#sp cartman#sp kyman
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day 20 girls girls girls love love love day to post the art i ve drawn some day but couldnât decide when to post it so here it is weidi is absolutely precious i donât know why they re so unpopular shipping them just feels like healing yk.
and other girls sketches(2) coz i have some old ones,, wendy me precious girl.
#south park#southparktober 2024#sp weidi#wendy x heidi#wendy testaburger#heidi turner#fem south park#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#stan marsh#kenny mccormick#i love fem versions of characters i like so i like them even more srry
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Hey I came over from April's posts lol. I read the "She's my collar" fic and loved it
Would/ Have you write a Kyle x reader x Cartman? They don't have to please each other in any way since ok you don't like kyman. But lmk I'm super curious lol. â€ïž
Cartman x F!Reader x Kyle
CWs: praise AND degradation, minor throatfucking, creampie, cum swallowing, kenny is the world's #1 instigator
Boy howdy did I take this and run with it
SMUT UNDER CUT. MDNI.
I stood at the bus stop like usual, tired out of my mind. Iâd been up all night studying for a stupid quiz, and notorious asshole Eric Cartman let me know just the toll itâd had on me.Â
âYou look shittier than usual.â I rolled my eyes as he kept going. âI mean, you always look fugly, but now you look like you were hit by a fucking bus.âÂ
âGee, thanks, Cartman.â I scoffed.Â
âIâm trying to help you. Youâre never gonna get a man like that.â Before he could say anything else, Kyle butt in.Â
âQuit bothering her, fatass, clearly she doesnât wanna talk to you.â The ginger stood next to me, looking me over. His tone was gentle when he addressed me. âYou okay? You donât look like you feel very well.â
âJust not a lot of sleep, is all.â Cartman took this and ran with it.
 âWoah, up all night sucking dick then? I knew you were a whore.â
âShut up, Cartman!â Kyle snapped. His two friends were smartly standing away from us, ignoring the commotion and smoking cigarettes.Â
âWhat? Ohh, I get it, she was up sucking your dick Kyle!â I rolled my eyes. The two fought until the bus came, and even then, kept snapping at each other across the aisle. Today was gonna be a long day.Â
By the time lunch rolled around I was so fucking sick of it.Â
âCan you two shut up?!â I snapped, glaring at the two that had attached to either side of me. âIâm so sick of hearing you assholes fight over nothing all damn day! If you two are going to be like this, then get the fuck away from me.â
I stormed off.Â
âWoah, going somewhere?â Kenny smirked as I ran into him.Â
âYeah, away from your stupid ass friends.â I pouted and he patted my shoulder.Â
âOkay, talk to Dr. McCormick- whatâs the sitch?â
âThey keep fighting over my head.â
âWhy, whatâs so good about it?â He grinned and I smacked him.
âBe serious, Kenny.â
âHave you ever considered that maybe theyâre fighting because they canât decide who gets to spend time with you?â
âAre you high again?â I set him with a stern glare that had him raising his hands in mock defense.
âNo, maâam,â he crossed his heart to emphasize he was telling the truth. âIâm just saying, theyâre glued to your hips and harboring a lot of tension right now. Just fuck about it.â
âGross. Goodbye, Ken.â I shoved past him.Â
My thoughts turned, though, because he had certainly just planted a seed that I wouldnât be able to uproot.
Iâd planned on staying in that night, but my friend Lola dragged me out of bed and got me done up for some stupid party.Â
I was still pissy by the time we got there. People looked at me concerned as I slammed down a drink the second I got my hands on one. Lola scolded me and I rolled my eyes at her, but agreed to just sip the second one.Â
It was boring as all hell until Cartman leaned against the wall next to me.Â
âHey. Sorry about earlier, I really didnât realize just how⊠much we were being.â He seemed genuine, and I relaxed.Â
âItâs okay, Cartman, you didnât mean to be an ass- in that regard,â I giggled, sipping at my drink. âI feel like you and Kyle just get way too into it sometimes and you donât think.â
âHard to think when Iâm looking at someone so pretty.â I blushed and looked down into my drink.Â
âReally?â
âWell, yeah.â I donât know what had gotten into him to be so suave, or what had gotten into me to be so receptive. Alcohol, probably.
I looked up to the sound of footsteps approaching.Â
âHi, Kyle.â I smiled at him a little, eyebrows knitting together as I looked down at his hand. ââŠYou broke your cup.â
âI am aware.â He seethed, eyes boring holes into Cartman. âAre you sure you wanna hang out with him?â
âYou canât police who I talk to just because you don't like him.âÂ
âNobody likes him! I just-âÂ
I interrupted him, âZip it. Both of you, follow me, now.â
âWhat-?â
âZip. It.â I made my way upstairs and into the guest bedroom. They followed after a moment of hesitation, and I locked the door.
âSpill. Now. Why are you two fighting so aggressively around me?â
âNo- no reason.â Kyle looked away from me and I could tell he was lying.
âOkay, yâknow, if heâs too pussy to say something then I fucking will,â Eric started, making his way over to me and cupping my face in his hands. âYouâre fuckinâ hot and weâve been fighting over who gets you.â
I felt heat rising to my face and pooling in my panties. The realization that I was locked in a room with the two, music thumping so loud nobody would be able to hear anything, set in. Cartman backed me up until I hit the wall, Kyle looking over with wide eyes.
â...Both of you can have me.â I said, swallowing hard as I squeezed my thighs together.
âOh, I just knew you were a whore.â The brunette ridiculed me, slamming his rough lips onto mine.Â
He practically consumed me, tongue sliding teasingly over my teeth. When he parted from me, a string of saliva connected our lips. It drooped down between us, snapping when the tension was too much. Eric raised a brow at Kyle, as if taunting him. No words were said before I was sandwiched between the two, Cartman now behind me. As he ground himself into my backside and chewed up my shoulders, Kyle took his turn with my lips. He was a great kisser, bucking his hips up into me as he practically moaned into my mouth. The ginger nipped at my lower lip, and I whined. I felt both their cocks twitch at that.
âFuck, youâre so wet, good girl.â Kyle mumbled into my neck as his fingers slid under my skirt and panties.
âDonât praise her, she hasnât done jack shit.â Cartman grunted, yanking off my shirt and bra. I winced when it sounded like a clasp fell off.
âYes she has, Cartman, sheâs taking it,â he moved his attention to me. âYouâre so cute, you know that?â He trailed wet kisses down my collarbones and to my breasts, humming eagerly as he took one nipple into his mouth.
âTaking it isnât doing anything at all, Kyle.â Eric protested, removing his own clothing as Kyle laid me down on the bed.
I was in heaven when the ginger boy tugged down my bottoms and ghosted his breath over my eager cunt. My breath hitched as he licked a long, wet stripe up my slit. The brunette watched with a smirk, stroking himself as Kyle worked me up with his tongue.
âOpen up, bitch.â Cartman asserted, gripping my hair in his hand and shoving his cock between my lips. âOhhh, fuck, yeah. I knew you had a good mouth on you, the sassy ones always fuckinâ do.â
My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I groaned, the noise coming out as a muffled gurgle thanks to the fat head of Cartmanâs dick blocking my airway. Kyle kissed and left hickeys across my thighs as his fingers stretched me. I swore I saw stars as he curled them purposefully, hitting the soft spot inside of me that sent electric currents through my flesh. My throat tightened around the flesh that pounded the back of it, milking precum from the angry tip.
âBe more gentle with her, sheâs being submissive.â Kyle scolded. Eric scoffed, ignoring him and using one large hand to twist one of my nipples.
The noises I made, even muffled, were driving Kyle crazy. I saw him strip in the corner of my eyes, and my thoughts were confirmed at the clink of his belt hitting the floor and the swipe of his cock against my entrance. I shuddered and trembled as he bottomed out inside of me. Iâd never heard anything as sexy as the noise he made the first time he moved his hips. This was bliss.
Kyle rocked his hips slowly at first, but it was clear he couldnât help himself as his rhythm sped. He drilled his cock into me, grabbing the back of my knees to fold me in half. I shook below them, pussy smeared with slick and mouth dribbling spit. I briefly felt guilty about someone else having to clean this mess, but the feeling of Kyleâs fingers coaxing my clit yanked me back to the moment. I felt hot, skin on fire as I was ruined. I gripped at the sheets, bucking my hips up to meet Kyleâs as he made me cum on his long fingers.
âGod, the bitch canât even wait to cum until her superiors have.â By the way his cock twitched in my mouth I could tell my shuddering was turning him on.
âGood⊠good girl,â he sounded as ruined as I thought I might if I tried to speak. âSo fucking tight, good girlâŠâ
As my walls pulsed around him, Eric pulled out of my mouth to stroke himself.Â
âMouth open. Youâre gonna fucking swallow.â His laugh dissolved into a shuddering grunt as he came on my tongue. He swiped the tip on my lips and laughed, closing my jaw with the other hand. I swallowed, nearly choking after as I moaned.
âF-fuck, good girl, âm gonna cum. W-where do you want it?â It was clear that Kyle was nearly bursting trying to hold himself back.
âInside, please, please?â I begged. Cartman laughed.
âWell, if she wasnât a whore before she sure as hell is now.â His hands found my breasts again, assaulting them with squeezes and pinches alike.
Kyle slammed into me hard, hips jerking wildly as he filled me with his warm seed. I heaved under him, still folded, and he stole what remained of my breath with a long kiss.
âIf this is what hanging out with Cartman means then I donât think I mind it anymore.â He smiled.
word count: 1700
#south park fanfiction#south park smut#south park x reader smut#south park x reader#south park x you#south park x you smut#south park x y/n#south park x y/n smut#eric cartman smut#kyle broflovski smut#south park smut fanfiction#fem reader smut#x reader smut
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[ONE] â Ghosts = $$$
â `` SPECTRAL SCAMMERS ``
â â summary: when cartman comes up with yet another 'get rich quick' scheme, he forces his friends, and you, into starting a ghost hunting service. armed with a mix of makeshift equipment, a questionable van and no actual skills, you begin taking jobs to "exorcise" haunted houses.
warnings: strong language, cartman being cartman.
(a/n): first chapter is out and honestly I don't really know where this is going!! also, I'm extremely sorry for the short length of this chapter :< --- usually, first chapters are always shorter! i'll try my best to make the other chapters longer :)
wc: 1932
â
m.list
â
series m.list
[NEXT] ->
The cafeteria was a chaotic mess as always. Muffled chatter, students fighting, and the occasional shout from the lunch staff scolding some kid for trying to sneak an extra carton of milk. You sat at the usual table in the far corner, picking at your food. Across from you, Stan and Kyle were arguing about some documentary they watched in History, while Clyde was halfway through his second slice of pizza.
"Alright, assholes, listen up!" Cartman's voice cut through the arguing boys. He slammed his tray onto the table for everyone's attention, the loud sound making Tweek flinch so hard he almost spilled his coffee.
"Oh, great, what now?" Stan groaned, leaning back in his chair.
"You're gonna thank me later, Stan." Cartman cleared his throat, glancing at everyone sitting at the table. "Because I just came up with the best idea of my life. No, of your lives, too, because you're all gonna be a part of it."
Kyle raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Let me guess, some new way to scam people out of their money?"
"Yeah, Kyle, because having ambition is such a crime." Cartman shot back, rolling his eyes dramatically. "But no, this isn't just a scam. It's a business opportunity. A gold mine. And all you losers have to do is stop being such whiny little bitches and listen to me for five seconds."
"Dude, just get to the point." Stan muttered, his hands resting on top of the table as his brows furrowed together.
Cartman smirked, leaning forward on the table as if he was about to deliver a secret. "Ghost hunting."
There was a moment of silence, broken only by the distant crash of a tray hitting the floor somewhere across the cafeteria.
"Ghost hunting?" Clyde repeated with a mouthful of pizza.
"Yes, Clyde, try to keep up." Cartman snapped. "Think about it. Those dumbass ghost hunting shows on TV. People eat that crap up! We can charge idiots in this town hundreds of dollars to 'investigate' their haunted houses and get rid of their spooky little Casper problems!"
Kyle shook his head with a sigh. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Even for you, Cartman."
"It's not stupid!" Cartman shot back, slamming his fist on the table hard enough to make Tweek jump again.
"People are stupid, Kyle. They'll pay us to run around their creepy old houses with flashlights, pretending to find ghosts! And if there's no ghost? We'll just make one! Bang on some walls, throw some stuff around... Boom, paranormal activity."
"That's literally fraud." You pointed out, resting your chin on your hand. "You realize that, right?"
Cartman waved you off as if you mentioned something as unimportant as the weather. "Pfft, no one's gonna care. We'll make them sign waivers. Legal waivers make everything legit!"
Stan exchanged a doubtful look with you, then glanced back at Cartman. "This sounds like the kind of thing that gets us arrested. Or worse, sued."
"Oh my God, you guys are so dramatic." Cartman groaned, throwing his hands in the air. "Look, do you want to spend the rest of high school broke and boring, or do you wanna be rich and badass?"
"Rich and badass does sound kinda nice..." Clyde admitted, earning a glare from Kyle.
"Clyde, seriously?"
"What? I need the money! My dad cut my allowance because I spent it all on skins in Fortnite."
"I can't believe I'm surrounded by morons." Kyle buried his face in his hands.
"Ghosts aren't even real!" Tweek blurted, his hands shaking as he gripped his cup. "What if we mess with something we don't understand? What if we summon a demon or-"
"Tweek, for the love of God." Craig interrupted, his voice flat and bored. "You're not summoning anything. It's fake."
Tweek's eyes darted to Craig, then back to Cartman. "B-But even if it's fake, what if- what if people find out?! What if we get exposed or something?!"
"Tweek, no one cares about your paranoia." Cartman rolled his eyes. "Besides, it's not like we're actually gonna run into any ghosts. We're just taking money from idiots who think their houses are haunted because their furniture makes weird noise."
"I dunno, dude." Kenny finally spoke up, voice muffled by his hood. "What's the cut? Like, how much are we each getting?"
"Ah! The voice of reason! Don't worry Kenny. We'll split it... Fairly."
"Fairly?" Kyle immediately narrowed his eyes. "That means you're going to take the biggest cut, doesn't it?"
"Uh, duh, because it's my idea." Cartman shot back. "But you'll still get plenty. Enough to buy whatever poor people stuff you need, Kenny."
"Works for me, I'm in." Kenny shrugged.
"Dude!" Kyle exclaimed, looking betrayed.
"What? I need money!"
You sighed, glancing around the table. "So let me get this straight." You started, mentally preparing yourself. "You want us to break into random people's houses, pretend to find ghosts, and charge them a fortune for it? Do you even have a plan for how this is supposed to work?"
"Of course I have a plan!" Cartman replied, puffing out his chest. "Step one, we make a website and some fake business cards. Step two, we spread the word around town. Step three, profit."
"That's not a plan." Stan muttered, leaning back in his chair again.
"It's a great plan." Cartman's brows furrowed together. "And you know what? If you don't want in, fine. But when I'm rolling in cash and you're stuck eating this nasty ass lunch food, don't come crying to me."
Stan groaned, rubbing his temples. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but fine. I'm in. Only to make sure you don't burn someone's house down."
Kyle threw his hands up with a groan and a roll of his eyes. "Oh my God. You're all insane."
"Come on, Kyle." You smirked, nudging him with your elbow. "It could be... Interesting."
Kyle stared at you as if you just suggested jumping off a bridge. But after a moment, he sighed heavily. "Fine. But if this ends in a disaster, I'm blaming all of you."
"Perfect!" Cartman grinned, looking around at his newly recruited 'team'.
"Welcome to the South Park Paranormal Crew, bitches. First job is tomorrow night. Bring flashlights and maybe some fake blood."
Craig glared at Cartman. "Tweek and I never said we were joining."
"I don't care about you losers, go sit on a dick or something." Cartman shot back.
Craig's eyes narrowed, his piercing gaze burning holes through Cartman. "You know what? I'm in, fatass." He spoke through gritted teeth, to which Cartman smirked.
"I-I guess I'm in too." Tweek stammered, his hands shaking uncontrollably.
"Amazing! What do you guys say we have a meeting at my house this night to prepare for tomorrow?" Cartman held a smug and confident look.
"Do we have a choice?" You sighed, already tired of this.
"No. Eight o'clock sharp!" He declared. "Don't forget that, fuckers!"
.
.
.
.
Later that night, the group crowded into Cartman's basement. The space was a mess, an old couch shoved against one wall, half empty soda cans all over a coffee table, and a mysterious stain on the carpet that no one wanted to investigate. You sat quietly between Kyle and Craig, who were both visibly annoyed.
Cartman stood at the front, a whiteboard behind him covered in messy scrambles of ideas that looked more like the ramblings of a lunatic than a business plan. He held a marker in his hands, which he twirled dramatically before slamming it against the board.
"Alright, assholes." He began, pacing in front of the group. "Step one of becoming the greatest ghost hunters South Park has ever seen: branding. We need a website, a killer name and a look that screams 'these guys are legit'."
Stan rolled his eyes from his spot on the couch. "It's hard to scream 'legit' when you're using your mom's basement as headquarters."
"Shut up, Stan!" Cartman snapped. "Do you have a basement we can use? No? Then sit your ass down and let the professionals handle this."
Craig crossed his arms, leaning a bit closer to you, his knee brushing yours. "You don't even know how to make a website, do you?"
"Of course I do!" Cartman lied, puffing out his chest. "It's easy. You just... Click some buttons and stuff. Besides, we have Kyle for that."
Kyle straightened, glaring at Cartman. "Excuse me? Since when did I agree to be your tech support?"
"Since you're the only one here who isn't a complete moron when it comes to computers!" Cartman replied, his tone annoyingly smug.
"Watch it fatass!" Stan snapped as Craig snickered.
Kyle opened his mouth to argue but stopped when you nudged him gently. "You might as well just do it." You whispered. "The sooner we get this over with, the better."
Kyle sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Fine, but I'm not doing this for free."
"Whatever, Jew." Cartman turned back to the whiteboard. "Now, let's talk names. We need something catchy. Something cool."
"How about we call ourselves 'Paranormal Posers'?" Craig deadpanned, earning a laugh from Kenny.
"I've got it!" Clyde exclaimed, clearly excited. "What about 'The Phantom Chasers'?"
"Lame." Cartman dismissed immediately, crossing it off the list. "We need something badass like 'South Park Paranormal Commandos'."
"Or we could just call it what it is." Stan muttered. "'Cartman's Latest Scam'."
"Do you want to get sued, Stan?" Cartman shot back. "No one's putting my name on this thing."
After another twenty minutes of ridiculous suggestions, and several rounds of arguing, you all finally settled on a name. Specter Squad.
"Simple, memorable, and cool as hell." Cartman declared, underlining it three times on the board.
.
.
While Cartman and the others brainstormed more ways to make themselves seem legit, Kyle sat at Cartman's ancient desktop computer, typing at it furiously.
The homepage was basic but effective.
A bold header reading "SPECTER SQUAD: South Park's Premier Ghost Hunting Team" in glowing green text, complete with a stock image of a haunted house in the background.
"This looks so fake." Kyle muttered to himself, shaking his head as he uploaded a photo of the group. It was a hurriedly taken selfie from earlier that night, with Cartman front and center, beaming like an idiot, while everyone else looked irritated.
"Fake is fine." Cartman said, leaning over Kyle's shoulder. "People don't care about professional. They care about scary. Make it spooky."
"Spooky costs extra." Kyle shot back.
The rest of the group gathered around as Kyle added more details to the site.
Services
- Full Paranormal Investigation
- Ghost Removal
- Cleansing Rituals
Reviews
Janet H. - "Specter Squad saved my family from a scary ghost! Worth every penny!"
Sal F. - "I thought my apartment was haunted and they proved me right. Highly recommend!"
"Who t-the hell is 'Janet H.'?" Tweek asked, pointing to one of the reviews.
"Some lady I made up." Cartman replied, completely unfazed.
.
.
With the website finished, you all moved on to advertising. Clyde and Kenny volunteered to print out flyers, which they plastered all over the school the next day. On lockers, bulletin boards, and even the bathroom stalls.
Cartman, meanwhile, moved to social media, creating an Instagram page and spamming hashtags like #HauntedSouthPark and #GhostBeware.
"You think anyone's actually going to believe this?" Craig asked as everyone watched Cartman upload a blurry photos of an attic claiming it was 'evidence' from a recent investigation.
"Of course they will." Cartman replied confidently. "People are dumb. Trust me, by this time tomorrow we'll have our first client."
â
yoyomiko â
miko
#reader#x reader#reader insert#f!reader#fem!reader#female reader#south park#craig tucker x reader#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#tweek tweak x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#clyde donovan x reader#eric cartman x reader#south park x reader#x reader insert#ghost hunting#south park au#multiple x reader#various x reader#kyle x reader#stan x reader#craig x reader#kenny x reader#kenny mccormick#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#craig tucker#â
yoyomiko#â
miko
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South Park but itâs my very self indulgent au
#art#digital art#south park#kyle brovlofski#kenny mccormick#sp kyle#stan sp#stan marsh#sp cartman#sp k2#kenny sp#sp stan#south park cartman#transfem kyle#trans fem#transfem#fem kyle
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đŠ© being in the main 4s friend group !! (fluff obvi) âïž
if u get a crush, be prepared to here 2 diff things.
ây/n how many times have i told u, stop being deluluâ from cartman and kenny
and then
ây/n donât listen to them, yeah u should shoot ur shot!â ïżŒfrom stan and kyle
imagine ft calls at like 11:36 pm.. ON SUMMER BREAK TOO
âhey y/n iâm jealous of ur heart.â -kenny
âand why is that đ€šâ -y/n
âbecause itâs pounding inside of u and iâm not.â *white tee by summer walker starts playing* -kenny
âW RIZZđ„đ„đ„đ„â -cartman
*kyle and stan just privately texting each other*
imagine yâall did talent shows and like one of yâall is a judge.. LMAOO
âalr next is kenny mcormick.â -kyle
*body by megan thee stallion starts playing*
âBODY YADYYADYADYâ -kenny
âur fucking weird⊠next.â -kyle
* u and cartman r rofl while stan records *
donât ask why but kenny would smack ur ass like randomly. like when heâs behind u and he realizes he has the chance to smack that dumptruck of urs hes gonna do it.
*smack*
âOW WTF KENNY?..â -y/n
âit wasnât me it was kyle!â -kenny
âr u serious rn.â -kyle
yâall go over to kyles to study! (yâall never study)
âlook at how ___ looks rnđâ -y/n
âthey look like a dehydrated horse.â -cartman
âcan yâall actually do work instead of copying me.â -kyle
âsowwy kylie wylie⊠i didnât mean toâŠ.â -y/n
âget out of my house rn.â -kyle
_____
im sorry thatâs all u guys getđ..
requests r open *giggles cutely*
#south park x reader#main 4 x reader#main 4#kenny mcormick x reader#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#cartman x reader#x reader#south park x you#south park x y/n#south park x fem reader#platonic south park x reader#se0nghwaaa
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MASTERLIST AND REQUESTS
Divider by Pinterest
â All my storys are here! â
REQUESTS! OPEN!
I try not to ignore any requests but tumblr has been deleting some before I could even start the draft so im sorry if your request hasnt came through :(
Disclaimer! If gender is unspecified in the request it will be chosen by me.
â What I'll write! â
âĄAny gender
âĄAny characters
âĄHeadcanons and fics/oneshots
âĄYandere x reader/ Character x Yandere reader
âĄRomantic will be aged up and platonic doesnt really matter the age
âĄI only write for south park sorry
â What i wont write! â
âĄCharacter x character im selfish
âĄCharacter x oc again im selfish
âĄNo poly relationships i dont really know how to portray that sorry
âĄSmut i cant take it seriously tbh
âĄAdult x child (unless platonic) self explanatory
âĄIncest or like weird shit bc im normal
I post every Wednesday :D
Divider by @k1ssyoursister
ONESHOTS!
-Unbearable.
âKyle x a Mute! Rebellious! Fem! Readerâ
Kyle helps a girl he's been keeping his eye on, not knowing it will change his perspective of her permanently. (AGED UP)
-Her highness.
âPrincess Kenny x Fem! Knight! Readerâ
Y/n asks Princess Kenny to be her Queen. (AGED UP)
-Y/n's coffee catastrophe!
âTweek x Coworker! GN! Readerâ
Y/n's first day on the job!! How hard can it be? (AGED UP)
-How I met your mother
âKyle broflovski x Fem! Readerâ
How kyle broflovski met his now wife. (AGED UP)
-I just can't live with out you
âKenny mccormick x Fem! Readerâ
He really does love her, don't you think? (AGED UP)
divider by @k1ssyoursister
FANFICS!
-Pretty in Pink!
âYandere South park x a Girly! Fem! Readerâ
A cute popular girl vs. highschoolers, Can Y/n win their hearts over? (AGED UP TO 18 AND OVER)
-Chapter 1
-Chapter 2
-Chapter 3
-Better in Red
-Chapter 4
-Chapter 5
-Yandere headcanons (TW)
-Chapter 6
-Chapter 7
-Bathing Kenny headcanons
-Kyle shopping headcanons
-Chapter 8
-Choose your Soulmate!
Old name: Choose your character
âYandere south park x readerâ
Y/n finds themself playing a cute dating sim that includes lots of hot LIs! What could go wrong? GN! AGED UP!
-Tutorial
-Level one
-Level two
-Level Three
-Level four
-Level five
divider by @k1ssyoursister
HEADCANONS!
âSmoking đâ
-Smoking đ with Stan, Kyle and Kenny
Smoking zaza with Stan, Kyle and Kenny. (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)
-Smoking đ with Craig, Clyde and Tweek
Smoking zaza with Craig, Clyde and Tweek (GN AGED UP)
-Smoking đ with Damien thorn
Smoking zaza with Damien thorn (GN AGED UP)
âHonest dating hcsâ
-Honest dating headcanons
What i think dating show accurate Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny would be like. (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)
-Honest dating headcanons Part 2
What i think dating show accurate Craig, Tweak, Jimmy, Tolkien and Clyde would be like (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)
âDating headcanonsâ
-Damien thorn dating headcanons
How I imagine damien thorn would be in a relationship (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)
-Pip pirrip dating a female misunderstood and sweet reader
Pip pirrip dating a girl that sticks up for him.
(AGED UP)
-Mean! Jock! Stan Marsh x Weird kid! GN! Reader.
Bully! Jock! Stan marsh x Weird kid reader headcanons. GN AGED UP
-Watching a movie with Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Cartman.
How I imagine watching a film with the main 4 (seperate) would go (GN AGED UP)
-Watching a movie with Craig, Tweek, Tolkien and Jimmy
How I imagine watching a film with the Team Craig (seperate) would go (GN AGED UP)
-Dating Clyde Donovan headcanons
How dating Clyde Donovan would go! (GN AGED UP)
-Dating Kenny Mccormick headcanons
How dating Kenny Mccormick would go! (GN AGED UP)
-Kyle dating a hispanic GN reader
Kyle with a hispanic reader! (AGED UP GN)
âSuper hero hcsâ
-Dating human kite headcanons (GN AGED UP)
-Dating mysterion headcanons (GN AGED UP)
âDating a girly female reader (AGED UP)â
-Kenny dating a girly reader
-Kyle dating a girly reader
-Cartman dating a girly reader
-Stan dating a girly reader
-Stan dating headcanons part 2
-Craig dating a girly reader
-Tweek dating a girly reader
-Damien dating a girly reader
divider by @k1ssyoursister
#south park x reader#south park headcanons#kyle broflovski headcanons#kenny mccormick fluff#kenny mccormick south park#kyle broflovski fluff#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle broflovski x y/n#south park#kenny mccormick and y/n#south park masterlist#masterlist#eric cartman fluff#stan marsh#stan marsh x reader#stan marsh x y/n#stan marsh fluff#eric cartman headcanons#eric cartman x reader#south park kyle x reader#clyde donovan fluff#south park kenny x reader#south park eric cartman#south park kenny mccormick#pip pirrip x fem reader#pip pirrip x reader#yandere south park#south park fluff#kyle broflovski south park#south park kyle
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k: she probably thinking about međ§
e: karina my karina đđ
e: karina my karinađ„°đ„°đ„°đ„°
forgot about all the old fem kyman (rusreal au) stuff
#south park#fem kyle broflovski#fem eric cartman#fem kyman#sp fem kyman#sp rusreal au#rusreal fem kyman#sp kyman#kyman#the softiesđ#not the last my arts of them cause I'll probably draw more soon#anyway it's from very different seasons of 2023#last year art yeah :)
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old woman yuri
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Commission for @kennys-parka-jacket âš
#Kenman#eric cartman#princess kenny#kenny mccormick#South park#Commission#Op art#Op commissions#They asked for my fem Eric design đđ they are an angel
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Fem kyman ice skating đâ€ïž
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