#pip pirrip x reader

[sunny-ssunset]

MASTERLIST AND REQUESTS

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❀ All my storys are here! ❀

REQUESTS! OPEN!

I try not to ignore any requests but tumblr has been deleting some before I could even start the draft so im sorry if your request hasnt came through :(

Disclaimer! If gender is unspecified in the request it will be chosen by me.

❀ What I'll write! ❀

♡Any gender

♡Any characters

♡Headcanons and fics/oneshots

♡Yandere x reader/ Character x Yandere reader

♡Romantic will be aged up and platonic doesnt really matter the age

♡I only write for south park sorry

❀ What i wont write! ❀

♡Character x character im selfish

♡Character x oc again im selfish

♡No poly relationships i dont really know how to portray that sorry

♡Smut i cant take it seriously tbh

♡Adult x child (unless platonic) self explanatory

♡Incest or like weird shit bc im normal

I post every Wednesday :D

Divider by @k1ssyoursister

ONESHOTS!

-Unbearable.

❀Kyle x a Mute! Rebellious! Fem! Reader❀

Kyle helps a girl he's been keeping his eye on, not knowing it will change his perspective of her permanently. (AGED UP)

-Her highness.

❀Princess Kenny x Fem! Knight! Reader❀

Y/n asks Princess Kenny to be her Queen. (AGED UP)

-Y/n's coffee catastrophe!

❀Tweek x Coworker! GN! Reader❀

Y/n's first day on the job!! How hard can it be? (AGED UP)

-How I met your mother

❀Kyle broflovski x Fem! Reader❀

How kyle broflovski met his now wife. (AGED UP)

-I just can't live with out you

❀Kenny mccormick x Fem! Reader❀

He really does love her, don't you think? (AGED UP)

divider by @k1ssyoursister

FANFICS!

-Pretty in Pink!

❀Yandere South park x a Girly! Fem! Reader❀

A cute popular girl vs. highschoolers, Can Y/n win their hearts over? (AGED UP TO 18 AND OVER)

-Chapter 1

-Chapter 3

-Better in Red

-Chapter 4

-Chapter 5

-Yandere headcanons (TW)

-Chapter 6

-Chapter 7

-Bathing Kenny headcanons

-Kyle shopping headcanons

-Chapter 8

-Choose your Soulmate!

Old name: Choose your character

���Yandere south park x reader❀

Y/n finds themself playing a cute dating sim that includes lots of hot LIs! What could go wrong? GN! AGED UP!

-Tutorial

-Level one

-Level two

-Level Three

-Level four

-Level five

divider by @k1ssyoursister

HEADCANONS!

❀Smoking 🍃❀

-Smoking 🍃 with Stan, Kyle and Kenny

Smoking zaza with Stan, Kyle and Kenny. (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)

-Smoking 🍃 with Craig, Clyde and Tweek

Smoking zaza with Craig, Clyde and Tweek (GN AGED UP)

-Smoking 🍃 with Damien thorn

Smoking zaza with Damien thorn (GN AGED UP)

❀Honest dating hcs❀

-Honest dating headcanons

What i think dating show accurate Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny would be like. (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)

-Honest dating headcanons Part 2

What i think dating show accurate Craig, Tweak, Jimmy, Tolkien and Clyde would be like (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)

❀Dating headcanons❀

-Damien thorn dating headcanons

How I imagine damien thorn would be in a relationship (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)

-Pip pirrip dating a female misunderstood and sweet reader

Pip pirrip dating a girl that sticks up for him.

(AGED UP)

-Mean! Jock! Stan Marsh x Weird kid! GN! Reader.

Bully! Jock! Stan marsh x Weird kid reader headcanons. GN AGED UP

-Watching a movie with Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Cartman.

How I imagine watching a film with the main 4 (seperate) would go (GN AGED UP)

-Dating Clyde Donovan headcanons

How dating Clyde Donovan would go! (GN AGED UP)

-Dating Kenny Mccormick headcanons

How dating Kenny Mccormick would go! (GN AGED UP)

-Kyle dating a hispanic GN reader

Kyle with a hispanic reader! (AGED UP GN)

❀Super hero hcs❀

-Dating human kite headcanons (GN AGED UP)

-Dating mysterion headcanons (GN AGED UP)

❀Dating a girly female reader (AGED UP)❀

-Kenny dating a girly reader

-Kyle dating a girly reader

-Cartman dating a girly reader

-Stan dating a girly reader

-Stan dating headcanons part 2

-Craig dating a girly reader

-Tweek dating a girly reader

divider by @k1ssyoursister

[ctheathy]

Hellpark!Philip w/ Sweetheart!Childhood friend!Reader

Philip [Pip] Pirrup x Reader

General+Fluff Headcanons

Most canon shall remain canon, so both Philip and Damien are still married in this [sob]; buuut, it has high implications on how he slowly starts gaining feelings for our lil’ reader here again

Darling, you’re crushing on Philip HARD lmao.

Hellpark Pip/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Memory loss [Only on Philip’s part] • Self deprecating comments [Philip, again] • Philip kind of has stockholm syndrome

⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇

There is one massive misfortune that immediately had to be discussed when we’re talking about Philip growing up as an fallen angel. Unfortunately saying for your case, the amount time he has spend in that hellhole has literally indoctrinated his mind into forgetting you in a way. He’s grown careless towards the things around him as a way of coping with the rough past he’s went through. And the particular state might also just be affecting his memory as well. You’re so desperate for your beloved Philip to remember you and for those memories to not go to waste. But these results remain vague...

⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇⑇

He’s mostly just confused and put off by your behaviour. Though he genuinely wants to believe the fact that he’s had atleast one close individual back at those awful times when he was younger, one whom he could share trust and love with; but it’s just... Hard. Especially when holding zero memory about any of it. To him, it would rather just sound like something he completely made up in order to steady his mental state at that time, a sad way to cope with the ridicule the others had always given him and the fact that his connections with anyone around were already rather rubbish to begin with.

You’re always offering him basic comfort while talking to him and vice versa, just trying to revive your relationship with one another. It’s all just so foreign to him ... Somebody who genuinely cares just because they can instead of it having any hidden motives. But what he’d also notice would be small acts that indicate that you did in fact know him when you were younger. It would likely start off with you softly scolding the boy whenever he’d call himself by the hated nickname, which could be considered a start of his confusion streaks starting to show in particular, but it’s a whole lot more different than any other of the small yet kind gestures you’ve given him. In a way, it makes him feel weird, warm inside... he cannot exactly describe it; but all he knows is that it’s been a long while since this feeling has fluttered inside of him by an act given by somebody instead of it being from the fiery pits of hell.

He’s not mad at you, he’s positive of that, but... In a way he just doesn’t get why you’d get so defensive whenever such a simple word managed to leave his mouth. On your end, however, you still viewed the nickname as a hateful intented way to reach out to the boy. He’s always said it himself after all, it had gotten to the point where it felt rather like an insult more than an actual name. The fact that he had started calling himself by the particular name he had always despised so much wasn’t favourable by you ... You didn’t enjoy seeing how the said name rolled off’ his tongue so naturally. You hated it, even. Making his curiosity grow towards all the things you know about him in the first place.

Philip had always still been a naturally social person and absolutely isn’t afraid to walk up to someone to strive a conversation, especially not now that he’s grown older. The more you speak to him and spend your time together, the more he just ... Regains his attachment from when he was younger. Small memories tend to slip in from time to time when you specifically mention little reminders of things you used to do together. He starts to believe more of things that you’ve told him while he grows more acknowledgeable of the strong bond you two used to have... And you still do

Cause deep down... He’s still the exact same Philip

[yandere-southpark]

(Sort of) revamped this story now that I understand writing better.

yandere pip if that’s okay? very underrated character

"Tea for Two" - Yandere Pip Scenario

A.N. - Pip strikes me as the type of yandere who prefers more non-confrontational methods.

Pip Pirrip

Quietly humming a cheery tune, Pip plopped a spoonful of sugar into the cup of tea resting on the metal tray next to the fresh batch of crumpets. He had begun to gently stir the sweet substance into the clear liquid when a sudden groan echoed in the living room and reverberated through the house.

"Pip, is that tea almost ready? My throat is burning." You strained to speak, voice hoarse and heavy with exhaustion. Struck by an inexplicable illness for the past week and left terribly fatigued nearly every hour of the day, Pip was left to be your primary caregiver until dinnertime.

"I'll be there in a jiffy, love," he replied cheerfully, slipping a small bottle out of his shirt pocket and pouring a minuscule amount of the liquid into the tea. After tucking it away, he blended the new substance into the drink and placed a few crumpets on the tray before raising it off the counter and strolling to the living room.

As Pip emerged from the kitchen, an eager smile bloomed on your tired face. You had stretched out across the entire sofa and attempted to sit up, but your arms collapsed under the weight and bounced the cushions upon colliding with them.

You mumbled an apology for leaving him with nowhere to sit, but Pip brushed it off and placed the tray on the short table in front of the sofa. "No worries," he chirped, hopping onto the nearest armrest.

With a feeble chuckle that sounded lighter than air, you extended a shaky hand to the cup of tea and brought it nearer for a sip. After lowering the cup and sighing in relief, the raging inferno in your throat tapered off.

Pip watched with a smile.

"I swear, your tea is the only thing that doesn't make me want to puke."

When the boy merely blinked in response, you recognised the unspoken insult in these words.

"Your crumpets are good too," you hastened to add, the momentary rush of adrenaline stirring you up slightly. In an attempt to stress sincerity, you met his tranquil gaze and offered a weak smile.

Pip returned it with a much brighter one. "No offence was taken, love! I know I'm not the best baker." His attention shifted to the television as he reached for the remote and began to surf the channels.

After sparing a glance to confirm he was looking the other way, you allowed yourself to relax and release a quiet groan while peering at the crumpets. Lately, your stomach had struggled with keeping down food. Still, your health would never improve if filled with nothing but tea.

A defeated expression taking hold, you grasped the nearest crumpet and inched it closer to your mouth before biting off a small piece. An oddly sour aftertaste assaulted your tongue; perhaps, Pip had changed the recipe. You preferred the original, but he was always so eager to show his gratitude: no one had to know.

"I'm afraid there isn't much to choose from." Pip's blithe voice pulled you free of thought, and you looked at the television to catch a snippet of a series in which you had no interest.

Despite the news, his face did not contain a sliver of disappointment. Pip was smiling as he turned to watch you, holding the remote in his lap.

With a dismissive wave of the hand, you let your gaze drop to the floor. "I'd rather watch nothing than this."

Pip switched off the television in an instant. "Right-o." He dropped the remote on the table next to the tray and scooted closer with a delighted expression. "I have a most splendid story to tell you! Do you know how Damien and I first met?"

You shot him a small smile and shook your head, knowing this would be an interesting tale. Damien made it clear that he could not care less about other people, so your interactions with him were limited to when Pip had introduced the two of you and chance encounters in the school corridors.

You remembered how utterly disinterested Damien was in meeting until Pip mentioned something about you being his best friend. His exact words were forgotten, but Damien thought whatever he said was hilarious.

The unfriendly boy had cackled heartily as if he knew something no one else did before shooting you a peculiar smile that held no kindness and mocked your ignorance.

It was then you realised you had not been listening to a word of Pip's story. You lifted your gaze and looked him in the eye to hide this fact, seeing him buoyantly making all sorts of gestures and doing poor impressions of other kids.

As he continued, you began to laugh. "All these hands came out of the ground and grabbed me and tossed me into the air! I—"

The ringing of the doorbell echoed out.

Pip fell silent as you turned to stare at the front door, wondering who was on the other side. You had not expected any deliveries today, and your parents would not be home for hours.

A voice asked if this was your residence before identifying themselves as a kid from school.

Releasing a quiet grunt, you attempted to climb off the sofa, but Pip hopped down from the armrest and gently pushed you back.

"Don't trouble yourself, love." He spun round and had begun to saunter to the door when you called out to him in protest.

"You're a guest, Pip. I should be answering the door myself."

The boy glanced over his shoulder to see you endeavouring to stand up.

You managed to plant one shaky foot on the floor before being flattened against the cushions once again, peering up at Pip's smiling face with frustration.

"I appreciate the thought," he said, carefree expression betraying nothing, "but I'd hardly consider myself a guest if you don't mind my saying so."

You fussed and squirmed in his grip for a moment before admitting defeat, head turning to the side with a glower.

"After all," added the boy, stepping away and approaching the entrance, "you're letting me stay here for the summer. The least I can do is open a door." Pip did just that and came face to face with a nervous student who stared at him in confusion and slight suspicion, repeating their earlier question.

Pip recognised them in a split second, and while his smile remained, his gaze turned cold.

They liked to ogle you in class, and he had disposed of many a love letter in the past.

"You're at the right place," said Pip, pulling the door closer to being shut, "but I'm afraid they aren't in the best shape for visitors at the moment."

The student rushed forward and pressed a hand against the door, extending a freshly baked pie from behind their back. Steam and a sweet scent rolled off it in waves. "I heard. That's why I'm here. I wanted to check on them and give them this." Their gaze lowered to the ground as their cheeks acquired a rosy hue. "I made it myself."

Pip's smile became tight and strained. "Oh, how thoughtful of you! It smells delicious." He found himself pushing against the door, trying to force it shut. "But as I said, they are feeling quite under the weather, and we wouldn't want you getting sick as well, now would we?"

The student's expression became one of concern, and they struggled to keep the door open. "I understand, but I really—"

Pip was swiftly gaining the upper hand and shot the kid one final, brilliant smile. "I'll be sure to tell them you dropped by." Right before he closed the door, a third voice spoke from behind him.

"Something smells good. Did you order takeout and not tell me?"

Pip spun round, eyes wide with horror, watching as you staggered to the entrance, exhaustion evident, legs trembling and gaze unfocused. Yet you managed a feeble smile and peeked over his shoulder.

The student's face instantly lit up before twisting with worry.

Pip reluctantly stepped aside and opened the door wider as you attempted to slip past him for a greeting.

The student rambled frantically about your dismal appearance and rushed inside, clutching your hand and guiding you to the sofa. They placed the pie next to the tray and tried to coax you into lying down.

Pip watched from the doorway with a blank expression before smiling and shutting the door a bit too harshly. You sprawled across half the sofa, leaving a single opening. He strolled over and plopped himself there, revelling in the disappointment that flashed across the student's face.

They settled for his original spot on the armrest and reached for the television remote.

"There isn't anything on that's worth watching. Pip already checked."

The student retracted their hand and began surveying the room, trying to find some way to entertain you.

After permitting the awkward silence to linger in the air for a few seconds longer, Pip opened his mouth to resume his tale of meeting Damien;—but the student beat him to it. They began to share stories about bizarre outings with friends, and you soon were laughing and nodding along.

They had your undivided attention, and Pip felt a dreadful emotion settle in the pit of his stomach. It sunk further and further the longer the two of you spoke, and his patience wore thin.

After what felt like an hour but was only a few minutes, Pip excused himself and entered the kitchen: "Why don't I make us some tea?"

You and the student mumbled approvals, so he sauntered to the nearest counter and placed three teacups.

After adding the natural ingredients, the boy pulled out a small bottle from his shirt pocket and unscrewed the lid. As he poured nearly half the bottle's contents into one of the cups, he smiled from ear to ear and grasped the handle of it and another.

When Pip offered one, you shook your head and motioned to the cup he gave earlier. He extended it to the student this time. They took it and quietly thanked him but peered at the odd texture of the drink with hesitancy.

Pip returned to the kitchen for his cup before reclaiming his spot next to you, watching the student take a sip from the corner of his eye. A pleased smile appeared on his face and a great deal of tension left his body the moment they swallowed, allowing himself to silently enjoy his own tea.

With every story the student recounted, their face became paler and their movements more sluggish.

Eventually, they were panting after every sentence, and the hand clasping the teacup trembled and swayed erratically as if it weighed as much as an anchor. Their eyelids began to droop, and they slurred their words. At several points, they lost their place in the story or forgot what they were talking about entirely.

Pip did not bat an eye, but you noticed their rapidly deteriorating health and worried you had spread your illness to the student.

You suggested the kid go home, and Pip was quick to agree. "You're feeling a bit iffy," he noted, feigning concern as he guided the ailing student to the front door. "Looks like a bad case of the lurgy, I'm afraid. Just like our dear friend."

The student began to groan in agony and clutch their stomach, spurring Pip to throw open the door and shove them out. "Thank you for the lovely pie. It's a shame you can't enjoy it with us. Your company was positively delightful."

They glanced at him and tried to speak, only to double over in pain the second they choked out a single syllable. A yellowish liquid dripped from the corners of their mouth, and they were on the verge of collapsing. "Help m—"

Pip slammed the door and locked it, sauntering to a nearby window to observe their demise. The student stumbled off the doorstep and into the street before falling into a heap and beginning to convulse violently. Pip watched with a serene smile. After a moment, he drew the curtains closed and returned to your side with a spring in his step.

The boy settled in next to you and cut into the student's pie. He brought in two plates from the kitchen and handed one to you, who eagerly accepted it and began to chow down.

Pip set his plate in his lap and took a sip of his tea, eyeing you with renewed joy when you did the same. "I'd like to hear the end of how you met Damien."

He chuckled and lowered his tea to the table, all too willing to oblige. "Of course. Where was I? Ah, yes. So I caught fire in mid-air, and everyone at the party started laughing."

As Pip entertained you, he felt nothing but satisfaction. There were no more trivial distractions getting in between the two of you, and he was finally rid of that pest from school. All was well in Pip's world, and you never need be any wiser to his methods.

Not even as screams and the sound of cars swerving haphazardly and screeching to a halt filled the streets.

[kwnnys]

can I request Damien thorn with a shy reader s/o?

— damien thorn with a shy s/o!

hcs : gender neutral reader. a/n : very rushed 😭���� anyw i love damien sm hes so pookie

gonna be honest first thing i thought of when I saw this req was that "excuse me they asked for no pickles" meme.

anyways, damien doesn't mind that you're shy for the most part. in fact its one of the features he loves about you

the only downside is that he himself is quite shy in terms of relationship 🤷‍♂️so it'll be probably take a while before you two actually start dating and doing relationship thingies 🤫

obviously being the son of satan its safe to say he has alot of enemies, so he'll always want to be with you so he can protect you whenever

hes not huge on pda, but if you like it then he will occasionally intertwine pinkies and hold your hand <3

you're too shy to initiate any type of affection, and hes pretty oblivious. so you have to subtly brush your hands against his or pout a few times before he gets the hint.

he will always ask you for permission before touching you, especially in public.

not the best at reassuring or giving out words of affirmation, but the boy is trying his best.

he'll do things for you that you're too shy to do, ex: ordering food, making calls, saying no for you.

you show your appreciation with a small smile, or if hes lucky a kiss on the cheek!

he will unintentionally fluster you alot. telling you that you look beautiful today, maintaining eye contact, giving you random gifts he probably got from hell.

hes pretty oblivious to what he does to you, and you hate it. it doesn't help that he will sometimes ask why you're blushing or why your face is red

hes very inexperienced when it comes to relationships, and his dad definitely doesn't help either. so he mostly goes to pip for advice. (even though he doesn't help much, and probably makes things worse/hj)

"they keep avoiding eye contact with me, I didn't even do anything to them!" "oh dear, perhaps you did do something to upset them. they wouldn't act like that without a reason"

you only couldn't look at him because you noticed how pretty his eyes were, and felt embarrassed when staring.

in the end he loves you even with your shy tendencies, and will always treasure you forever <3

[bblueberrypancakes]

Pip: Are you busy?

Y/n: Yes.

Pip: Cool, listen to this...

[mcverse]

ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP

Angst ∇ Fluff ♡ NSFW ✾ Dark Content ❦

Team Craig, Team Stan

m.list

Others

PETE THELMAN

— nothing yet

MICHEAL

— nothing yet

TIMMY BURCH

— nothing yet

GREGORY OF YARDALE

— nothing yet

BRIDON GUEERMO

— nothing yet

GARY HARRISON

— nothing yet

DOVAHKIIN

— nothing yet

PIP PIRRIP

— nothing yet

[sundaepoppy]

Living with them (headcanons) 🔥💥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹

Warnings: Dried blood, arguments.

Genre: Fluff, (You decide if it's Romantic or platonic)

Gender: Neutral

First off, you're living with a bunch of demons inside an abandoned mansion (or whatever house you own) and holy hell it's chaotic.

You'd be having a hard time sleeping due to Estella and Gregory arguing 24/7 ~_~

You will have to sleep in the attic since it's soundproof.

They all sleep in separate rooms together and you sleep by yourself.

But Gregory might have to sleep with you because he and Estella got into a heated argument which ended with Estella kicking Gregory out of their shared room.

You might be able to have a good night sleep if you're lucky, because Gregory might snore loudly while sleeping in your bed with you.

You and Estella are the only ones who clean up the place. There are either drink cans, dried blood, or coffee cups on the floor.

You gave Thomas a bucket to puke blood in.

Meanwhile. you forced Pip (along with Damien), and Tweek to clean up their trash.

Gregory over here teasing you and Estella that you both are the maids of the house which ended in him getting bonked on the head or a slap mark on his cheek.

The only good cooks here would be: You, Estella, Pip, and Thomas. Everybody else can't cook. Except for Tweek since he probably is only good at making pancakes.

Everyone admires and loves your cooking the most and you might get a few of them begging for more food from you.

Overall score of living with them is 7.9/10

Pup pup gip!

[d8nielaa]

sodapop asking you to read to him while pony is in windrixville :( he misses his brother and he can't read that well, but you have always been able to comfort him

Authors Note: yess anon omg!! Soda would actually be in a slump..thats so saddddd

Read to me?

Sodapop Curtis x fem!reader

Ponyboy had ran away. That was all that you knew. Well, thats all you could get out of Soda. It was bad, Soda had been thrown into this slump, that none of you really knew how to get him out of. He was working himself to the bone, coming back home exhausted every night. Which worried you, because Soda wasn't like that.

He was always so happy, and charming and just very golden retriever energy. So it made you wonder what happened that night, but you didn't bother to ask because you knew that making him rethink it would just make the situation worse.

He had been quiet, really only talking to Darrel, you, Ace, and Two-Bit. Yet nobody could comfort him like you. Nobody could save him, like you.

It was Monday night, about 2 days since Ponyboy had ran away. And Soda, well he wasn't doing so great. You laid in Soda and Ponyboy's bed, which was empty on the nights that you didn't stay over. You were laying in the bed, having heard the door open and slam shut.

You sat up, knowing it was Sodapop. He walked through the door, looking more tired than the night before. You smiled at him sympathetically, patting the empty space next to you. He immediately climbed onto the bed, laying on top of you with a sigh. You gently laced your hand through his greased up hair, his arms wrapping around your waist.

His head was pressed against your chest, which hurt just a little, but you didn't have the heart to tell him.

It was quiet for a moment, the two of you finding peace in the storm. Then, Sodapop glanced on the floor, something catching his interest. It was one of Ponyboy's books, specifically, "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens. You had read the book once, and fairly enjoyed it. But, you didn't think Soda would care much for it.

He moved one of his arms off your waist, grabbing the book from the floor and bringing it closer to him to read the title. He was thinking about the conversation him and Ponyboy had the night before he ran away. Tears slowly began to brim his eyes, but he held them in as he shakily brought the book closer to you, his voice soft yet so emotional.

"Can you-will you read it..for me?" He asked, bringing th book even closer to you, his eyes pleading. You immediately nodded your head, pressing a soft and comforting kiss on his forehead before taking the book from his hands, and opening to the first chapter in the book. Your arms were around him, his head still pressed against your chest as you began to read.

"My father’s family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip.

I give Pirrip as my father’s family name, on the authority of his tombstone and my sister,—Mrs. Joe Gargery, who married the blacksmith. As I never saw my father or my mother, and never saw any likeness of either of them (for their days were long before the days of photographs), my first fancies regarding what they were like were unreasonably derived from their tombstones. The shape of the letters on my father’s, gave me an odd idea that he was a square, stout, dark man, with curly black hair. " (Dickens, 6)

As you continued reading, Soda slowly let the sleepiness get to him. Those two days of barley sleeping out of fear that his brother would return and he would be asleep when he got there. His eyelids grew heavy, and soon enough they fluttered shut.

He laid on top of you, his soft breathing and occasional subconscious squeezes to your hip, letting him know that he was okay. Letting him know that you both, were gonna be okay.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Authors Note: Hiii everyone!!! So glad to be back! I got my nails done and they're so cutsie, but its hard to type on my laptop with them on 😭. PLEASE KEEP THE REQUEST COMING!!!

much love, dani 🩷

[deadguydeathmatch]

Welcome to the Dead Guy Death Match Elimination Round!

Due to the broad nature of death as a concept, most of the submitted characters only received a few votes each causing a massive tie. I figured the fairest way to sort out this issue would be to hold an elimination round to let you guys vote on who you want to make it into the bracket.

There will be two elimination rounds the first of which will start on Monday the 3rd of April at 3pm BST and the second will start on Saturday the 8th of April at 3pm BST.

Elimination Round 1 will feature polls of 5 or 6 unrelated characters (all of the matchups were generated randomly) for you to vote on. The lowest voted character will be eliminated and all of the remaining options will progress to the bracket.

Elimination Round 2 will feature polls of differing numbers of characters from the same or similar media and only the highest ranked character among them will progress to the bracket, all of the others will be eliminated.

Both sets of polls will last 24 hours.

I've tried my best to only include official images for all of the characters on the polls but I'm not familiar with every series listed so, when the polls go up, if you notice I've used a fanart or cosplay image without permission or credit please let me know and I'll add credit and correct it for any future appearances of that character.

The matchups are listed under the read more and hyperlinked to the polls

I apologise if I’ve accidentally spelled something wrong or used a wrong name for something, I’m not familiar with every series listed.

There will be spoilers for many series ahead.

Round 1-

Poll 1-

Leif- Bug Fables

Claire Foley- Professor Layton

Magne- My Hero Academia

Koki Kariya- The World Ends With You

Matsuri Kanroji- Demon Slayer

Tiso- Hollow Knight

Poll 2-

Polly Geist- Monster Prom

Beetlejuice- Beetlejuice

Kim Namwoon- Omnicient Reader’s Viewpoint

King Arthur- King Arthur

Chidi Anagonye- The Good Place

Duncan- Dragon Age

Poll 3-

Breakdown- Transformers

Varl- Horizon

Captain Orimar Vale- Skyjacks Podcast

Deep Throat- The X-Files

Connor Murphy- Dear Evan Hansen

Poll 4-

Catherine Earnshaw- Wurthering Heights

Johannes Cabal- Horst Cabal

Mr Boddy- Clue

Galivar Kholin- Stormlight Archive

Seth Gordon- All For The Game

Poll 5-

Jay Gatsby- The Great Gatsby

Billy Loomis- Scream

Esmeralda- The Hunchback of Norte Dame Novel

Kili- The Hobbit

Charles Vane- Black Sails

Poll 6-

Ned Stark- Game of Thrones

Hua Cheng- Heaven’s Official Blessing

Skelly- Hades

Nate- Levarage

Owen Carvour- Spies Are Forever

Poll 7-

Andre Grandier- Rose Of Versailles

Ash Lynx- Banana Fish

Jade Irinka- Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish Granting Engine

Hugo Oak- Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

Evelyn Hooper- Less is Morgue

Poll 8-

Pandora Hearts- Xerxes Break

Bow- Inanimate Insanity

Sam Cortland- Throne of Glass

Matoro- Bionicle

Tigerstar- Warrior Cats

Poll 9-

Deadman- DC Comics

Bunny Corcoran- The Secret History

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight- Saw

Tobias Tattersall Hawthorne- The Inheritance Games

La Signora- Genshin Impact

Poll 10-

Erik- The Phantom of the Opera

Diggory Graves- Hello from the Hallowoods

Max- Sam and Max

Nicholas D Wolfwood- Trigun

Pip Pirrip- South Park

Poll 11-

Pedro Madrigal- Encanto

Midori- Your Turn To Die

Charles Foster Kane- Citizen Kane

Rufus Emeterio- They Both Die at the End

Tuuri- Stand Still Stay Silent

Poll 12-

Manny Calavera- Grim Fandango

Howard Hamlin- Better Call Saul

Tanya McQuoid- White Lotus

Diallos Hoslow- Elden Ring

Sayaka Miki- Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Poll 13-

Meiji “Menma” Honma- Anoha: The Flower We Saw That Day

Chiyoko Fujiwara- Millenium Actress

Mari- Omori

Simon Karin- Pathologic

Lee Everett- The Walking Dead

Poll 14-

Rachel Amber- Life is Strange

Jason Grace- Riordanverse

Violet Harmon- American Horror Story

Vylad Ro’Meave- Minecraft Diaries

Chara- Undertale

Poll 15-

River Song- Doctor Who

Queen Serenity- Sailor Moon

Sliver of Straw- Rain World

Manny- Swiss Army Man

Mr Nobody- Transistor

Poll 16-

Shizu- Slime Tensei

Michael Afton- Five Nights at Freddy’s

Neil Perry- Dead Poet’s Society

Silhouette- Watchmen comics

Garret Jacob Hobbs- Hannibal

Poll 17-

Junpei Yoshino- Jujitsu Kaisen

Okudera- Yakuza 5

Shinichiro Sano- Tokyo Revengers

Yuri Nakamura- Angel Beats

Emily- Corpse Bride

Round 2-

The Owl House-

Flapjack

Caleb Wittebane

Star Wars-

Kanan Jarrus

Obi Wan Kenobi

Fives

Torchwood-

Owen Harper

Ianto Jones

Ace Attorney-

Mia Fey

Deid Mann

Critical Role-

Laudna

Mollymauk Tealeaf

Star Trek-

Jennifer Sisko

Spock

Tasha Yar

Hamlet-

Hamlet

Ophelia

Dracula-

Quincey Morris

Dracula

Marvel-

Loki

Tony Stark

Natasha Romanoff

Final Fantasy-

Haurchefant

Aerith Gainsborough

Ysale Dangulain

The Last Of Us-

Joel Miller

Sarah Miller

Riley Abel

The Vampire Diaries-

Nora Hildegard

Stefan Salvatore

Klaus Mikaelson

Avatar: The Last Airbender-

Avatar Kyoshi

Avatar Roku

Jet

Hatoful Boyfriend-

Nageki Fujishiro

Ryuuji Kawara

Black Butler-

Grelle Sutcliffe

Angelina Dalles

How To Train Your Dragon-

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock 2

Stoick The Vast

Les Miserables-

Gavroche Thenardier

Eponine Thenardier

Supernatural-

John Winchester

Castiel

Buffy The Vampire Slayer-

Jenny Calender

Tara Maclay

Arcane-

Silco

Vander

Infinity Train-

Tuba

Simon Laurant

Sally Face-

Sal Fisher

Larry Johnson

Ghosts-

Pat Butcher

Pete Martino

[alaskan-wallflower]

Master list

Characters I write for romantically and platonically)

Eric Cartman

~none yet~

Stan Marsh

~none yet~

Kyle Broflovski

Giant!Kyle x Tiny!Reader- Nightmare

Kenny McCormick

Kenny x MALE!Reader

Butters Stotch

~none yet|

Craig Tucker

G/T Creek headcanons

Craig x Reader x Tweek- Them with a BORROWER!S/O

Tweek Tweak

Craig x Reader x Tweek- Them with a BORROWER!S/O

G/T Creek headcanons

Clyde Donovan

~none yet~

Tolkien Black

~none yet~

Jimmy Valmer

~none yet~

Wendy Testaburger

~none yet~

Bebe Stevens

~none yet~

Pip Pirrip

~none yet~

Heidi Turner

~none yet~

(Platonic only characters)

Ike Broflovski

~none yet~

Karen McCormick

Karen McCormick with a reader who loves to spoil her!

[sunny-ssunset]

How about a pip pirrup x fem reader where pip the most 2nd bullied kid in South Park, finds a girl his age who loves and accepts him for who he is(especially being English) she’s a sweetheart to pip and gives him love and hugs, telling him she will always love him and will fight off the bullies, especially Cartman

🌸🫖Pip Pirrip x a misunderstood sweet fem reader🫖🌸

dividers by pinterest

Masterlist!

♡I got you babe dww, i'll do headcanons because my oneshot abilitys are really shit atm and its easier for me to do headcanons Im a lazy bitch ngl

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT <3

•When i tell you it was love at first sight i swear to fucking god lmaoo

•You first saw him eating lunch on his own damien was away guys

•You knew he was pretty misunderstood, you didnt really get why?

•He seemed really sweet why did cartman treat him like shit?

•One day you just had ENOUGH

•Beat the shit out if cartman for calling pip a stupid name again

•He came up to you and thanked you for standing up to him

•He didnt think cartman deserved to be beat up over though SWEET BABY

•You'll be the first to confess and he'll cry if joy lmao

•"I just wanted to say i will love you forever and i understand if you dont feel the same" He'll engolf you in the BIGGEST hug "No ones ever said that to me before Y/nnnn 😭😭😭"

•After that you are inseprable

•He always demands on holding your hand wherever you go

•He has never met someone so understanding and accepting before he falls HARD

•Whenever someone even tries to say something bad to pip you stop him before they even open their mouth

•He'll rant about you to damien for HOURS

•"She is just so perfect like she just gets me you know??" "Yes Phillip i know you havent shut up about her for 2 hours"

•Damien knows so much about you before you even met

•Pip is just so happy to have someone like you what can he say

•Anyways He can not get enough of your kisses like he is obsessed

•He is always thinking/talking about you when you arent together which is very rare

•He cried whenever you tell him you love him first the first few times

•He'll write you cute little notes in class

•Hes so obsessed with you

•Your in it for life girl you are never leaving 💖

dividers by @k1ssyoursister

[ctheathy]

So wrong yet So Right

Hellpark Philip[Pip] x Reader

Suggestive Oneshot

Your dear friend had returned from the depths of hell after his terrible demise had taken place. You’ve allowed him into your home as your guest and as a companion, leaving him to grow mesmerised by the amount of sheer memories left in your house from his childhood years. But little would he know that his compassion for you would return along with the remembrance.

Hellpark pip/Reader [Romantic]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Philip is being unfaithful • Kissing/Minor details of making out session • Suggestive themes

Your eyes were glued onto the male demon infront of you, keeping your eyes locked on him as your own had showcased some paranoia, anxious thoughts and feelings filling your mind. Philip was looking around the souvenirs among your home, oftentimes complimenting your sense of style along with gently stroking over it with his bare fingers. You two were currently in your living room, having invited him after the meeting with your past friend. You had never expected to see him again ... you weren’t supposed to. He was crushed to bits under the feet of that robot all those years ago and it left you traumatized. But ... here he was. Alive and well. You were wondering if whatever deity out there brought him back to you. But the sheer change in personality didn’t go unmissed by you either, but atleast you got to see him. But you couldn’t help but feel this need to help him remember himself, so you didn’t hesitate when a sudden thought popped into your mind. You brought him over towards your bedroom, wanting to show him the amount of memories awaiting the both of you through pictures and paintings back from the past. You striked up a conversation, wanting to release some of the bottled up tension that was currently in the room. You gently walked over to him, hugging him from the side while your soft voice reached out to him, making him freeze in his spot. Your curious eyes looked up to him, making him feel rather fuzzy and warm inside despite the circumstances.

“I missed you ... so much ... Philip”

As your hand got in contact with the warmth of his cheek, brushing away a lock or two with your thumb in hopes of taking a better look at his face. To which you felt a massive sense of relief and comfort upon seeing the actual memorable soft facial features you had so well photographed in memory. Years after years, the ones you hadn’t been able to take a single genuine glimpse at anymore other than from some sad pictures laying around your house, but it had never even been close to comparable. it had almost seemed like they had never left. And it warmed your heart.

Though something you personally didn’t seem to be self aware of was the sickening sense of desperation you had caused the boy in front of you to regain, one he so badly wished to have lost completely back within his years of living in the underworlds. And yet, here he was. Regaining all of it in a matter of seconds. Cause at the end of the day, he was still the same awkward and shy British student from all those years ago ... no matter how much he desires to deny his old self.

He felt tears prickling in his eyes, he was starting to remember who he truly was. And he couldn’t help but feel this sense of devotion to you for that, a connection of a deep bond whom he never had with anyone else in his entire life. Philip felt eternally grateful for you and your antics back at your old school. You made his life bearable and you were like the only truthful light in his vision. He gently took your hands in his own, grabbing your attention and catching you slightly off guard. “. . . Thank you” he softly muttered with an appreciative tone. You jumped a bit before your features softened up once again, giving him a sweet and sincere smile. One he hasn’t laid an eye upon in literal years. Philip felt his heart skip a beat at the genuineness in your features. The sincerity in your eyes ... they almost seemed to be shimmering. And he had found them absolutely stunning in his eyes, your eyes telling stories he wanted to be part of.

But that’s when it hit him how attractive you were. His eyes scanning over the entirety of your face and the realisation setting in that he found you beautiful. He felt some heat rise to his face as he felt himself ... at peace around you. And he just feels so incredibly foolish, feeling a sense of regret wash over him during all of those times he spend wasting without you, having left you behind for so long. His eyes looked towards you in such awe and with so much admiration and he gave you an actual smile of his own, a real smile. He gave your hands a tiny squeeze before speaking in an endearing tone yet again, along with letting out a faint chuckle. “y-you’re an angel, you know that?”

He freed one of his hands from the grasp as it met the side of your face, taking in all of your features. He stroked your cheek with his thumb, before continuing with his speech. “...My angel” He put his hand behind your back, giving you a sense of balance as he looked at you with those glimmering eyes of his. “Please ... may I...?” he softly spoke with a hint of hesitance, but he didn’t shy out from facing his feelings this time. Your expression just lid up, giving a small nod and smile. You looked at him with just so much love that has been hiding within the shadows for ages. Love you’d be more than willing to show him.

You got on your tippy toes, standing up from your leaned position to instead reach the tall height of Philip. You could feel a sense of delight overcome you as you met his soft lips, along with your heart fluttering at feeling it curl into a smile middle in the kiss. But even as you returned from the act, his lips continued to come in contact with your own, turning the kiss into a more intimate moment than expected. His hands were stroking your frame in a gentle massage-like manner all while you clung to him all the same way like your life depended on it. You couldn’t bare losing him yet again in the slightest. You gently rubbed your fingers through his blonde locks affectionately, caressing his scalp with care as the both of your lips locked over and over again. Eventually you took the lead, helping him take off his vest in the intimacy of the moment while he did the same to you. Eventually, his free hand went over and grabbed onto the silver piece of jewelry that was resting on his ring finger.

The ring of his commitment to Damien.

He took a strong grip on it with his fingers as he ripped it off in a swift movement. He just dropped it, leaving the once important sign of trust to clatter across the floor. Leaving it meaningless.

Guess he truly wasn’t as angelic worthy after all.

[nsmhrniki]

✰ pip w/ a violent but soft s/o！,,

WARNINGS: curse words, harsh words

PAIRING/S: phillip "pip" pirrip x reader [ platonic // romantic ]

PRONOUNS: no pronouns mentioned!!

GENRE: fluff, more of crack though 😭

REQUESTED: yes // no

" do you still take requests? if so, can we get a phillip x reader where the reader ALWAYS defends him? for example in the dodgeball episode where he's happy about winning against the asians and tge gang says "shut up pip!" the reader just yells "YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING R3T4RD5!!" then immediately goes soft on him and says "don't listen to them. you did a great job" or when kyle insults him she goes "ah shut up you chr!st k!ll3r"

and also the reader has been known to beat ppl up in younger grades "

– @kenjithesquidiot

A/N: LMAOOAOOA I LOVE THIS i had to rewatch the episode to make sure i got the dialogue right 👍👍

poor, poor, boy. pip is always mistreatened. incredibly nice and awkward, people took advantage of that and took him as "weak" and "pathetic." you, on the other hand, oh no of course you wouldn't take that.

so during pip's first dodgeball game, when kyle went "come on, don't be a wuss! are you just gonna be a french pansy your whole life?!"

"i'm not fr- 😟" "THROW THE BALL YOU STUPID FROG. Goddamn if you didn't eat all those croissants you wouldn-"

he fell over with a yell and the others turn to see you angrily hovering over him–and they ALREADY knew that it was you who threw the ball. later chef walks by,

"o-okay that was pretty good, y/n 😃. but you're supposed to hit the kids on the other team,,"

"ow my nose–you broke my nose!!" kyle's whining breaks through

"SHUSH, i should rip your hair off so you won't have to wear that dumb h-"

"okay, okay kids thats enough 😧 that nose is bleeding pretty bad kyle, i think you might have to go to the nurse's office"

"N-NO ILL BE FINE AHA 😍"–panicked about going to the nurse. kyle had it coming as he was dragged outside by chef

glaring at the others as a warning, they step back. your stare however, turns into a softer expression as if nothing had happened as you turn to pip, comforting him in the process

during the actual game, chef peptalked pip, telling him to throw the ball at the other team. "yeah, and if you don't, you're a big dumbass european peice of crap!#*×*" "get him frenchy-" cartman and kyle both halt the second they notice your glaring daggers at them.

you didnt even notice the little guy won!!

however.,, oh god the national finals. players on your side, one by one DOWN. from clyde, to kyle, to cartman, to kenny, to YOU,,, now it was only pip left.

luckily, kevin caught up on an idea, and wrote it down on a piece of paper BUT not before asking for your permission. you were hesitant, but you eventually agreed. you knew it would help

so you watched him walk over to the opposite team and whisper to one of them, whilst handing the paper. he walked away and did what kevin told him

"thanks you american DUMBASS. YOU FRENCH PIECE OF CRAP, THROW THE BALL. Whats the matter, frenchy?!?! you got crepes in your ears??"

well would you look at that?? pip won. still the others told him to shut up when he celebrated but you ended up smashing each of their faces with the ball 😍

nevertheless, the others are still scared to the core when it comes to you, and them having to trashtalk pip to "motivate" him.

however, pip claims its always been you that pushed him up whenever he needs it:))

on a side note, hes INCREDIBLY smitten over you. he appreciates how you always defend him–although you do scare him too sometimes,,

so he often has to hold you back from beating up the others LMAO

fortunately, the others have minimized their picking on pip to a low (if you're not there, that is) you still manage to find out anyway, and they'll get what they deserve

㊎ all rights reserved to @/nsmhrniki. please do not copy/repost

Reblogs are appreciated !

[terrible-incorrect-south-park]

Gregory, Estella, & Pip: *spinning calmly while talking*

Y/N & Christophe: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

[yandere-southpark]

yandere pip if that’s okay? very underrated character

"Tea for Two" - Yandere Pip Scenario

A.N. - Pip strikes me as the type of yandere who prefers more non-confrontational methods.

Pip Pirrip

Quietly humming a cheery tune, Pip plopped a spoonful of sugar into the cup of tea resting on the metal tray next to the fresh batch of crumpets. He had begun to gently stir the sweet substance into the clear liquid when a sudden groan echoed in the living room and reverberated through the house.

"Pip, is that tea almost ready? My throat is burning." You strained to speak, voice hoarse and heavy with exhaustion. Struck by an inexplicable illness for the past week and left terribly fatigued nearly every hour of the day, Pip was left to be your primary caregiver until dinnertime.

"I'll be there in a jiffy, love," he replied cheerfully, slipping a small bottle out of his shirt pocket and pouring a minuscule amount of the liquid into the tea. After tucking it away, he blended the new substance into the drink and placed a few crumpets on the tray before raising it off the counter and strolling to the living room.

As Pip emerged from the kitchen, an eager smile bloomed on your tired face. You had stretched out across the entire sofa and attempted to sit up, but your arms collapsed under the weight and bounced the cushions upon colliding with them.

You mumbled an apology for leaving him with nowhere to sit, but Pip brushed it off and placed the tray on the short table in front of the sofa. "No worries," he chirped, hopping onto the nearest armrest.

With a feeble chuckle that sounded lighter than air, you extended a shaky hand to the cup of tea and brought it nearer for a sip. After lowering the cup and sighing in relief, the raging inferno in your throat tapered off.

Pip watched with a smile.

"I swear, your tea is the only thing that doesn't make me want to puke."

When the boy merely blinked in response, you recognised the unspoken insult in these words.

"Your crumpets are good too," you hastened to add, the momentary rush of adrenaline stirring you up slightly. In an attempt to stress sincerity, you met his tranquil gaze and offered a weak smile.

Pip returned it with a much brighter one. "No offence was taken, love! I know I'm not the best baker." His attention shifted to the television as he reached for the remote and began to surf the channels.

After sparing a glance to confirm he was looking the other way, you allowed yourself to relax and release a quiet groan while peering at the crumpets. Lately, your stomach had struggled with keeping down food. Still, your health would never improve if filled with nothing but tea.

A defeated expression taking hold, you grasped the nearest crumpet and inched it closer to your mouth before biting off a small piece. An oddly sour aftertaste assaulted your tongue; perhaps, Pip had changed the recipe. You preferred the original, but he was always so eager to show his gratitude: no one had to know.

"I'm afraid there isn't much to choose from." Pip's blithe voice pulled you free of thought, and you looked at the television to catch a snippet of a series in which you had no interest.

Despite the news, his face did not contain a sliver of disappointment. Pip was smiling as he turned to watch you, holding the remote in his lap.

With a dismissive wave of the hand, you let your gaze drop to the floor. "I'd rather watch nothing than this."

Pip switched off the television in an instant. "Right-o." He dropped the remote on the table next to the tray and scooted closer with a delighted expression. "I have a most splendid story to tell you! Do you know how Damien and I first met?"

You shot him a small smile and shook your head, knowing this would be an interesting tale. Damien made it clear that he could not care less about other people, so your interactions with him were limited to when Pip had introduced the two of you and chance encounters in the school corridors.

You remembered how utterly disinterested Damien was in meeting until Pip mentioned something about you being his best friend. His exact words were forgotten, but Damien thought whatever he said was hilarious.

The unfriendly boy had cackled heartily as if he knew something no one else did before shooting you a peculiar smile that held no kindness and mocked your ignorance.

It was then you realised you had not been listening to a word of Pip's story. You lifted your gaze and looked him in the eye to hide this fact, seeing him buoyantly making all sorts of gestures and doing poor impressions of other kids.

As he continued, you began to laugh. "All these hands came out of the ground and grabbed me and tossed me into the air! I—"

The ringing of the doorbell echoed out.

Pip fell silent as you turned to stare at the front door, wondering who was on the other side. You had not expected any deliveries today, and your parents would not be home for hours.

A voice asked if this was your residence before identifying themselves as a kid from school.

Releasing a quiet grunt, you attempted to climb off the sofa, but Pip hopped down from the armrest and gently pushed you back.

"Don't trouble yourself, love." He spun round and had begun to saunter to the door when you called out to him in protest.

"You're a guest, Pip. I should be answering the door myself."

The boy glanced over his shoulder to see you endeavouring to stand up.

You managed to plant one shaky foot on the floor before being flattened against the cushions once again, peering up at Pip's smiling face with frustration.

"I appreciate the thought," he said, carefree expression betraying nothing, "but I'd hardly consider myself a guest if you don't mind my saying so."

You fussed and squirmed in his grip for a moment before admitting defeat, head turning to the side with a glower.

"After all," added the boy, stepping away and approaching the entrance, "you're letting me stay here for the summer. The least I can do is open a door." Pip did just that and came face to face with a nervous student who stared at him in confusion and slight suspicion, repeating their earlier question.

Pip recognised them in a split second, and while his smile remained, his gaze turned cold.

They liked to ogle you in class, and he had disposed of many a love letter in the past.

"You're at the right place," said Pip, pulling the door closer to being shut, "but I'm afraid they aren't in the best shape for visitors at the moment."

The student rushed forward and pressed a hand against the door, extending a freshly baked pie from behind their back. Steam and a sweet scent rolled off it in waves. "I heard. That's why I'm here. I wanted to check on them and give them this." Their gaze lowered to the ground as their cheeks acquired a rosy hue. "I made it myself."

Pip's smile became tight and strained. "Oh, how thoughtful of you! It smells delicious." He found himself pushing against the door, trying to force it shut. "But as I said, they are feeling quite under the weather, and we wouldn't want you getting sick as well, now would we?"

The student's expression became one of concern, and they struggled to keep the door open. "I understand, but I really—"

Pip was swiftly gaining the upper hand and shot the kid one final, brilliant smile. "I'll be sure to tell them you dropped by." Right before he closed the door, a third voice spoke from behind him.

"Something smells good. Did you order takeout and not tell me?"

Pip spun round, eyes wide with horror, watching as you staggered to the entrance, exhaustion evident, legs trembling and gaze unfocused. Yet you managed a feeble smile and peeked over his shoulder.

The student's face instantly lit up before twisting with worry.

Pip reluctantly stepped aside and opened the door wider as you attempted to slip past him for a greeting.

The student rambled frantically about your dismal appearance and rushed inside, clutching your hand and guiding you to the sofa. They placed the pie next to the tray and tried to coax you into lying down.

Pip watched from the doorway with a blank expression before smiling and shutting the door a bit too harshly. You sprawled across half the sofa, leaving a single opening. He strolled over and plopped himself there, revelling in the disappointment that flashed across the student's face.

They settled for his original spot on the armrest and reached for the television remote.

"There isn't anything on that's worth watching. Pip already checked."

The student retracted their hand and began surveying the room, trying to find some way to entertain you.

After permitting the awkward silence to linger in the air for a few seconds longer, Pip opened his mouth to resume his tale of meeting Damien;—but the student beat him to it. They began to share stories about bizarre outings with friends, and you soon were laughing and nodding along.

They had your undivided attention, and Pip felt a dreadful emotion settle in the pit of his stomach. It sunk further and further the longer the two of you spoke, and his patience wore thin.

After what felt like an hour but was only a few minutes, Pip excused himself and entered the kitchen: "Why don't I make us some tea?"

You and the student mumbled approvals, so he sauntered to the nearest counter and placed three teacups.

After adding the natural ingredients, the boy pulled out a small bottle from his shirt pocket and unscrewed the lid. As he poured nearly half the bottle's contents into one of the cups, he smiled from ear to ear and grasped the handle of it and another.

When Pip offered one, you shook your head and motioned to the cup he gave earlier. He extended it to the student this time. They took it and quietly thanked him but peered at the odd texture of the drink with hesitancy.

Pip returned to the kitchen for his cup before reclaiming his spot next to you, watching the student take a sip from the corner of his eye. A pleased smile appeared on his face and a great deal of tension left his body the moment they swallowed, allowing himself to silently enjoy his own tea.

With every story the student recounted, their face became paler and their movements more sluggish.

Eventually, they were panting after every sentence, and the hand clasping the teacup trembled and swayed erratically as if it weighed as much as an anchor. Their eyelids began to droop, and they slurred their words. At several points, they lost their place in the story or forgot what they were talking about entirely.

Pip did not bat an eye, but you noticed their rapidly deteriorating health and worried you had spread your illness to the student.

You suggested the kid go home, and Pip was quick to agree. "You're feeling a bit iffy," he noted, feigning concern as he guided the ailing student to the front door. "Looks like a bad case of the lurgy, I'm afraid. Just like our dear friend."

The student began to groan in agony and clutch their stomach, spurring Pip to throw open the door and shove them out. "Thank you for the lovely pie. It's a shame you can't enjoy it with us. Your company was positively delightful."

They glanced at him and tried to speak, only to double over in pain the second they choked out a single syllable. A yellowish liquid dripped from the corners of their mouth, and they were on the verge of collapsing. "Help m—"

Pip slammed the door and locked it, sauntering to a nearby window to observe their demise. The student stumbled off the doorstep and into the street before falling into a heap and beginning to convulse violently. Pip watched with a serene smile. After a moment, he drew the curtains closed and returned to your side with a spring in his step.

The boy settled in next to you and cut into the student's pie. He brought in two plates from the kitchen and handed one to you, who eagerly accepted it and began to chow down.

Pip set his plate in his lap and took a sip of his tea, eyeing you with renewed joy when you did the same. "I'd like to hear the end of how you met Damien."

He chuckled and lowered his tea to the table, all too willing to oblige. "Of course. Where was I? Ah, yes. So I caught fire in mid-air, and everyone at the party started laughing."

As Pip entertained you, he felt nothing but satisfaction. There were no more trivial distractions getting in between the two of you, and he was finally rid of that pest from school. All was well in Pip's world, and you never need be any wiser to his methods.

Not even as screams and the sound of cars swerving haphazardly and screeching to a halt filled the streets.