#felt like adding more stuff to it since i felt like it was lacking in some ways

[psalidodont]

Eel graveyard

[snekdood]

i mean i should probably stop saying shit just to be mean

[roosterforme]

Mr. Right Now Part 5 | Hangman x Reader

Summary: Jake can't pinpoint why he feels the need to make you understand that you're special. Or maybe he can, but he's too afraid to admit it to himself. You are completely out of your depth, but you know you'd rather drown with Jake than be with anyone else right now.

Warnings: adult language, sexual touching, oral sex, fingering, cum play, 18+

Length: 3700 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female Reader

Why is Jake on my masterlist!? Mr. Right Now masterlist

Jake was surpassing all of your expectations. You were already three orgasms deep on the weekend, and you just met him less than a day ago. He was sweet and handsome, and right now he was kissing your lips softly on his couch as he held you tight. You couldn't help but smile against his mouth as the sticky coating of his cum spread from your tummy to his hard abs as you and he made out at a luxurious pace.

He was taking charge, but he never made you feel small or stupid for your lack of experience. He just didn't seem like that kind of person. And besides, you did manage to turn him on for the third time, and instead of letting him sneak away, you got him to stay put on the couch with you.

"Were you really going to try to jerk off alone again?" you asked as he kissed his way down the side of your neck.

"Mmhmm. You caught onto that, did you?" You felt his tongue trail along your skin before he said, "Wasn't about to make you feel obligated to take care of it for me in any way."

Okay, so Jake was kind of a gentleman. So much so that he still hadn't fucked you. And he still hadn't told you when he was planning to. The crazy thing was, you now understood that he could probably make you come a dozen other ways that didn't involve his cock at all. You were impressed. You were also a little sad that once you and he did get around to that little matter of eliminating the fact that you were still a virgin, you'd be on your way.

"Are you sore, Darlin'?" he asked, setting butterflies off in your belly. "I was a little rough with my fingers."

You moaned softly and tipped your head back. "It felt amazing. I liked it."

"I'm glad," he crooned. "But if you're sore, you could take a bath."

You perked up even more. A bath in his big tub sounded delightful, and once you started moving, you realized you were a bit more sore than you originally thought. "I want a bath," you told him, and you left a mess of his tacky cum on him when you stood up. You suddenly remembered you were completely naked and covered in his semen as you ducked your face away from him and muttered, "I wasn't sure what the texture was going to be like. It's really sticky all over me now."

Jake stood and pulled you close again. "Gets messier and harder to clean up when it starts to dry. But you didn't seem to mind me coating you up since it was your idea in the first place."

You pressed your lips together and muttered, "I never saw a guy come in real life before. I was curious. And it was so hot."

Something like possessiveness flashed in his eyes. "And then, to my surprise, you started playing with it," he added with a dangerous smirk, and you turned away from him in embarrassment, because maybe you weren't supposed to do that at all. "Do you hear me complaining?" he asked, pressing his lips to your shoulder. "That was some advanced level kinky stuff. Just wasn't expecting it. But I am not complaining. Let's get you in the bath."

Jake kept his arm around your waist as he led you back to his bedroom and then to the en suite bathroom where he cranked on the hot water before turning to look at you in all his naked glory. "I'm going to grab myself a beer for bathtime. Something about hot water and a cold beer is very satisfying, and maybe you can learn all about it after your next birthday. You want another crystal goblet of ice water?"

Your brow furrowed. "You're taking a bath with me?"

He raised one eyebrow and took a step away from you. "Unless you don't want me to."

Once again, you were surprised by him, but not disinterested in the idea of having him join you in the tub. "I want you to."

He half smiled in response. "And the goblet of ice water?"

"Yes, please," you told him with an eye roll. Then he was gone, and you were left with the soothing sound of the tub filling up while you went in search of a washcloth. You found some in the small closet just inside the bathroom door. Along with extra towels, razor blades, and a half empty box of extra large condoms.

Of course he would have them. He brought you home which meant he probably did the same thing every weekend. Maybe he even had more than one girl each weekend. One for Friday night and one for Saturday night. Maybe he'd fuck you and then offer to drive you home soon so he could go back to the bar tonight and find someone more his speed. Someone who knew that condoms came in different sizes.

You couldn't let yourself get jealous or sad, because there was no point in it. This was practically a business deal. Jake was helping you get ready for Cooper while he got his rocks off as many times as he wanted to. No more, no less.

"Here you go."

You startled a bit as Jake held out your wine glass filled with ice water, and he took a long sip from his bottle of Sam Adams. "Thanks," you whispered, and then he pressed his cold lips to your forehead before nodding at the tub.

"Get in and get comfy."

--------------------------------

Jake had never shared his bathtub with anyone. Soaking in the hot water until it was almost too cool to stand was one of his guilty pleasures that he never planned on letting someone else experience, too. He usually brought a beer in with him. One time he drank an entire bottle of champagne. But he always did it alone. Until today, apparently. Something about the way his cum was drying on your skin while you kissed him made him want to take the time to clean you up. And he also realized by how his wrist felt that he'd gone pretty hard with his fingers.

You looked too fucking cute with the steamy water up to your shoulders while you sipped from the condensation coated stemware. But you were quieter than you had been in the living room, which bothered him, because he had gotten used to your constant chattering and your smartass comments.

He slipped one foot into the hot water, and you scooted a little further forward. When he had both feet in, he eased himself down until he was sitting with you tucked between his legs. But you were facing away from him, so he couldn't see your face as he asked, "Is the temperature okay for you?"

"Mmhmm," you hummed, sipping your ice water.

He leaned back against the tub and took another sip of beer, but you remained where you were. "You comfy?" he asked.

"Yes," you whispered, your back still to him.

"Well, I'm not," he said blandly.

"What's wrong?" you asked right away, turning to look at him over your shoulder, finally letting him see your pretty face.

"You're all the way over there." 

Jake reached for your hip under the water, wrapped his hand around you, and pulled you closer to him. Your eyes went wide, and you turned to brace your hand against his chest. Some of your cold drink splashed onto him, but he just muttered, "That's better," while you set the glass down on the edge of the tub.

"You could have just asked me to scoot closer."

Jake studied you and took another long sip of his beer before setting it down next to your glass. "You haven't complained once when I've touched you."

"I'm not complaining," you whispered, so he stroked your waist, and you snuggled in a little closer to him. "I'm just wondering when you're going to fuck me." 

He kissed your forehead as you looked up at him. "You're playing by my rules, remember?" he muttered.

"You don't have to be so sweet just for me." Jake's fingers froze on your body as you added, "Unless you're always like this? Making breakfast for your overnight guests? And cuddling in the bathtub? I guess that makes more sense."

But he wasn't always like this, and he wanted to tell you that. But he knew he didn't have the right to say anything at all when you really only needed him for one purpose. Once you got what you wanted from him, you'd be gone.

"Are you always this sweet?" you whispered, wet fingers wrapped around the back of his neck as you looked up at him through your lashes. 

He licked his lips and shook his head. "I don't think I've ever been quite this sweet before." When you finally smiled again, your eyes softened, and Jake kissed the bridge of your nose. "You might as well get comfortable, because I don't get out until the water's cold."

"Cold!" you complained as he held you tighter. "You expect me to stay here until it's cold?"

"Mmhmm." He took another sip of his beer. "And I expect you to tell me what kind of pizza you want for dinner, too. And why don't you tell me what you're studying in school while you're at it. And how you usually spend your weekends."

"I'm staying for dinner?"

Jake sighed and let his head tip back. "I don't think I can fuck you until I've taken you on a proper date. So... will you have dinner with me at my dining room table?"

"Yes."

-------------------------

A proper date. The words were bouncing around in your mind even as Jake stretched out on his couch in his gym shorts while you were almost completely on top of him, wearing his clothes. "You're wrong," you told him, shaking your head and pushing his hair off his forehead. "You have the wrong opinion about pineapple on pizza, and I refuse to believe I'm the first person who has ever told you so."

His hand on your butt flexed as he laughed. "Nobody else would dare. Except for you. Go ahead. Tell me what else I'm wrong about."

"Well," you said with a huff of pretend annoyance, "you ate your eggs sunny side up this morning. Wrong. And you didn't already have your bedroom window open to listen to the sound of the ocean last night. Wrong." You paused for a beat before saying what you'd been thinking about for a while. "I would say you're wrong about needing extra large condoms, but I did see and feel you, so maybe you do. Not wrong."

His deep laughter rumbled through his chest, and you jostled slightly on top of him. "You found my stash in the bathroom?" he asked, but he didn't sound annoyed.

"I was looking for a washcloth."

He hummed and asked, "How many condoms are left in the box? I haven't checked in a couple weeks."

"About half." You looked him in his pretty green eyes. "Does that mean you haven't had sex in a couple weeks? Or that you just haven't been using condoms?"

"I always use condoms," he replied immediately with a little nod, and you believed him. "Lesson seven: never skip a condom. Guys are pigs. Don't let them cut corners."

He kissed the corner of your mouth, but all you could say was, "So you haven't had sex in a little while?"

Jake nodded again. "Was getting a little sick of the bar crowd, to be honest. At least until you dropped your fake. Kicking tag chasers out of my bed in the middle of the night isn't much fun anymore."

"What's a tag chaser?" you asked, running your fingers through his soft hair.

His cheeks tinted with pink as he said, "Women who go after guys in the military. Some of them think it's fun to 'collect' tags. Some of them are hoping to trap a guy for the marriage benefits. Different reasons. Same name. And you absolutely can't let them spend the night with you."

You wanted to laugh, because this actually sounded like your roommate, Kylie. But then you remembered why you went to that particular bar in the first place and who you were originally looking for. Your eyes went wide. "Wait. Am I a tag chaser?"

Now he was hooting with laughter. "I don't know, Darlin'. Are you? That little leather skirt screamed yes, but your smart mouth and the fact that you didn't care that I was an aviator are telling me no."

You thought about it for another second and said, "I'm not one," while he laughed some more. "I couldn't be! You let me spend the night."

He reached for his phone as he said, "Yeah, well you're different, aren't you? I'm going to order this pizza."

"Okay," you whispered, letting your cheek rest on his chest as he tapped his screen and then held his phone to his ear. He was looking at you as he said, "Yeah, hi, a large pizza for delivery, please." He paused for a second and then said, "Toppings? Since I'm with a girl who has weird ideas about pineapple on pizza, just wait to hear how horrible this thing is going to sound. Are you ready?"

You were laughing with your face buried against his arm as he gave his address and credit card number, and when he hung up, you screeched, "Jake! You're ridiculous. And wrong! It's going to be the best pizza ever."

"Sure," he said sarcastically before sitting up with you on his lap. He nipped at your lip as he added, "It'll be about thirty minutes before it gets here, Darlin'. I think we have time to review some of your lessons if you feel like it."

A smile bloomed across your face as you asked, "Which lessons?"

"Whatever lessons you want."

----------------------------

You told Jake you wanted to review lessons two and three, and now you were naked on his couch with his face buried in your pussy and his hands wrapped around the backs of your thighs. Foreplay and oral sex were two things you clearly loved. He spent about ten minutes making out with you and hitting all the spots that left you dripping wet, and then he treated himself to a taste. 

"God damn," he growled, lapping at you as you tugged on his hair. Once again, you got him rock hard as goosebumps trailed down his neck. "Fuck."

"Jake," you whined until his mouth was back on your clit, and then you sighed contentedly. He knew he could get you off before the pizza arrived, and he also knew he'd be amped up for you later. He was excited. You excited him. He wanted to be so good.

"Jake!" You came apart on his tongue, rolling your hips up for more pressure. He rewarded you for knowing what you wanted by sucking on your clit, and he enjoyed every second of your orgasm. Every little sound. Each tug on his hair. The way your body seemed to relax into the couch cushions once you were fully sated. And then there was a knock on his door.

"Don't move an inch, Darlin'," he teased, kissing the apex of your thigh.

"I can promise you I won't," you whimpered, arm tossed over your eyes as you ran your fingers slowly up your body.

He chuckled as he walked to the door, and then he realized that he was wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts and a raging boner. He grimaced and tried his best to hide himself with his left hand while he pulled the door open. You were just in the other room, completely naked on the couch, and if you sat up, the pizza delivery kid who looked like he was your age would have front row seats to the show of a lifetime.

"Thanks," Jake muttered, taking the pizza box and quickly closing the door. Then he walked to the table, his cock merrily bobbing along the way. He started to grab plates and get you another wine glass of ice water, and he had to pause to consider why exactly he felt the need to make this seem like a date. He'd already been over every bit of your body with his mouth and hands. He could have just fucked you by now. He desperately wanted to. But he needed you to understand that you had to go for the guys who weren't just setting out to take advantage of you. That you needed to make them work for it.

Jake turned when you made a soft sound and wrapped your arms around his waist. You were wearing his clothes again, and he collected you against him. "It smells good," you muttered.

He kissed your forehead and said, "This is the one and only time I'm letting you choose the toppings."

Your laughter rang out as you sat down with your ice water. "I guess I better make it count then. And that's such a typical guy thing, to think their pizza topping preferences are the best."

"Yours are just wrong," he replied quickly, dropping a slice onto your plate before putting one on his own. He watched you take an enormous bite and smile as you chewed it up. "But you're cute, so you can get away with it."

You looked satisfied with his comment as you asked, "So, you usually make other girls eat the grotesque topping combination you prefer? Is that why you don't have a girlfriend?"

"Wow. Okay," he replied with a laugh while he sat down, enjoying your smirk. "You think this Cooper guy is going to put up with you, smartass?"

You cocked your head to the side like you had forgotten all about him. "I thought we weren't supposed to be talking about him anymore? That was lesson number one."

"You're not allowed to bring him up," Jake reminded you. "But I can. So what's so great about him anyway?"

You nibbled on your crust and kind of shrugged. "He's pretty hot. And he asked me out four times. I keep telling him we can go out soon, but I know he's going to stop asking if I don't actually pick a day and do it." You paused and looked at your glass of ice water as you said, "I should have just slept with someone by now. I don't want him to be disappointed that I'm a virgin who doesn't know how to do anything."

Jake grunted and set his pizza down. He'd been with his fair share of women, but there was nothing disappointing about you. The way you got him going was unparalleled, and even though you claimed you didn't know how to do even the basics, you definitely had his number. The hair pulling and cum play and little noises you made were all unintentional but so fucking hot. And now he was annoyed.

"That's why you want to lose your virginity? So you can please him physically?" You shrugged again. "Remember how I told you that it's never about the guy?"

"Yeah."

He reached for your chin and tipped it up so you met his eyes. "That goes for everyone, but especially Cooper. Okay? There's nothing wrong with you, Darlin'. You got everything just right."

You nodded and swallowed hard, and Jake was so fucking jealous of a college kid, he wanted to scream. "Okay, Jake," you whispered. "I believe you."

His fingers slipped slowly along your jaw until they were digging gently into the back of your neck. He studied your pretty face and memorized how his clothing looked on you while your gaze stayed fixed on him. "Are you sure you still want to do this with me?" he asked softly. "Because you don't need me to fix anything about you since there's nothing wrong to begin with."

In an instant, you planted your hand on his thigh and leaned all the way in to kiss him. He realized he was still a little hard from giving you head as soon as you nudged him, but he didn't mind you knowing how badly he wanted you. He didn't stop you as you eased yourself onto his lap without breaking the kiss, and when your body settled against his, you moaned softly. 

Jake pulled away and watched you chase him for more before your eyes fluttered open. "I need to hear you say it," he whispered, hand creeping up inside the shirt you were wearing. "Is this what you really want?"

You didn't hesitate as you told him, "Yes. I want you for my first time, because you're sweet and I know you're not going to hurt me. I don't always need to explain myself for you to know what I need. I want you. Not Cooper and not Rooster. You."

The shirt you were wearing fell to the floor next to his chair, and Jake ran his rough fingers along your sides, making you shiver. He kissed you softly as his hands found the undersides of your breasts. "This pizza is going to taste even more disgusting cold," he murmured as you arched into his touch. "But I can't wait any longer for you."

You smiled against his lips before you stood, taking his hand and guiding him to his feet as well. Then you led him to his bedroom, and he got lost in your little glances along the way.

"Better get those extra large condoms," you told him with a soft laugh.

He kissed you and guided you back toward his bed, and you stretched out luxuriously beneath him, his hand resting on the elastic at your hip. "You got nothing to worry about, Darlin'. I'll take care of everything."

------------------------------

Full speed ahead to Jake's cock in the next part. He's ready to go. You've been warned. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 6

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[felassan]

More on the Varric deaths stuff, two, as well as on DAII Exalted March and DA:I -

"This expansion was going to be called Exalted March, and here, Varric was going to finally step out from the interrogation room so we could play in the present day, so to speak. It was also here that Varric - in a climactic confrontation new villain Corypheus, introduced in Legacy - was going to die. "So what I wanted to do with the expansion was: there's a lot of stuff we cut and I really wanted to put a bowtie on the Dragon Age 2 story," former lead writer David Gaider told me earlier this year while chatting about the creation of the Dragon Age world for a piece about maps. "It had the confrontation with Corypheus and the whole thing. We'd introduced him in a DLC, which I didn't want to do, but we did it, so I wanted to sort of tie that off. And I wanted to kill Varric because he was the viewpoint character and I'm like, 'This is his story, it needs to end with his death.' "He was the unreliable narrator, right?" he added. "I felt like it had to end with him. So we had this great moment where Corypheus is using the Red Lyrium and it's growing out of control, but [Varric is] a dwarf so he's a little bit immune, so he's able to do the Wrath of Khan Spock thing and get in close and destroy it. And he gets Corypheus enough so the party can take him out, but then he's dying from Red Lyrium poisoning so there's this nice moment with him and Hawke as Hawke says goodbye. And with his death, the story ends. And I felt that's appropriate for Dragon Age 2's arc." Exalted March, however, was never released. BioWare cancelled Exalted March to refocus the studio on new game Dragon Age: Inquisition and the move to new engine Frostbite. The expansion was "cannibalised", as Gaider put it, talking to me, and expanded to become Inquisition. Which is how Corypheus suddenly became the main villain in Inquisition, and how Varric managed to stay alive. It didn't stop Gaider trying to kill him again, though. "I tried to kill him in Inquisition," he told me. "I think mainly because I didn't get to do it in [DA2]. And everyone was like, 'But the Inquisitor isn't Hawke! It lacks the same meaning.' And I was like, 'Yeah, I guess you're right.'" Still, it was a difficult thing to let go of. "I was a little bit upset," he said, "and I remember I went and said - because they wanted to start work on Dragon Age 3 immediately - 'Well, you can make me do that, yes, and I will just be the guy in the meetings doing this [he makes a standoffish posture]. Or you can let me go home for a month or so, get this out of my system and grieve, and I will come back. And I swear, when I come back, I will be ready to go.'" He was true to his word, but he still wasn't entirely done trying to kill Varric. In March last year, Gaider revealed there were once plans for Corypheus to attack the Inquisition's mountain castle base, Skyhold. "The threat of Corypheus after Haven was never truly realised," Gaider tweeted. "An attack on Skyhold would have upped the ante. Maybe I could have killed someone finally... but instead, Corypheus remained a remote villain you chased but were rarely chased by. "By the way," he then added, "if you're wondering who I would have killed in Skyhold, given the chance, the answer is obviously Varric. That dwarf was meant to die in the (cancelled) DA2 expansion and escaped his fate despite having been in my crosshairs ever since." Varric survived again. "After Dragon Age Inquisition came out I'd already left the Dragon Age team," he told me."

[source]

what I'm reading, if I understood it right, is that Varric has survived death at least 3 times thus far.. (；・∀・)

[kanencrow]

The Father who Stepped up - Shauna Shipman | One Shot

Summary: When Shauna gives birth to her baby boy, she finds herself designating you as 'the father who stepped up' after she experiences first-hand how nurturing you are to something so innocent and defenseless. It helps her simultaneously come to terms with the fact that she's a mother, and it also allows her to realize that she's actually kind of into you, too.

Warnings: Swearing, Suggestive Themes, Descriptions of Cannibalism, Talks of Jackie’s Death.

A/N: All characters are 18+ by default, and the reader is gender neutral (no pronouns were used). I'm tempted to do a part two that consists of more domestic stuff amongst you and Shauna because I don't think I added as much I could've in this one shot, but I'm not sure if anyone would want that, so let me know in my inbox!

Word Count: 10000+

It’s like clockwork for Shauna.

She wakes up every single night, at a time where the sun is completely gone, and the room she’s been cooped up in after giving birth is pitch black. Even the illumination of the moon doesn’t peek through the window, and so it only makes it more difficult for her to function when the almost habitual crying of her son sounds off the moment she preemptively wakes up. It’s gotten to a point where her body naturally rouses a few minutes before the baby starts to fuss – like it just knows that her time for sleep is going to get interrupted. It only makes her all the more frustrated and sad, because she values her rest, and she feels that no one wants to take the time to help her care for him.

Shauna’s sleep deprived and grumpy, even as she gathers her aching body and slowly gets up from the bed she’s practically been rotting on for the past few days. Bearing a child with a body that was weak from malnutrition and lack of water was far worse than any traumatic thing she had gone through in the past. So she can’t help the way she groans and whines while she walks over to the makeshift crib you and Van had put together using sticks, leaves, and rocks. It was a nice gift from the two of you, since it gave her a place to put the baby, just so there wasn’t that worry of rolling on top of him while she slept in bed. 

And sure, it made her have to get up more than she wanted, but the thought of losing her son because she wasn’t careful was something that didn’t sit right in her chest. She’d been meaning to thank you and Van for the thoughtfulness, but both of you had been so busy with chores around the cabin – and she could barely walk as is – so it just made the entire task all the more difficult. But with the way neither one of you looked expectant in receiving that form of appreciation, there was a part of her that didn’t find herself rushing in trying to convey how she felt towards the gesture. 

Using it was thanks in itself, right?

She expected the baby to start crying the moment she made it to said crib, but all she got as she rested her hands at the edge of the makeshift bed was complete and utter radio silence. She couldn’t ignore the way her heart jumps to her throat, a rush of anxiety coursing through her like a lightning bolt as the thought of him being dead enters her mind, and when she reaches down into the cradle – only to feel nothing but the blanket she laid out for him – it only forces her worry to skyrocket. Maybe she’s dreaming again, having some sort of nightmare about her boy dying, but she can feel the blanket – the soft fleece against her fingertips, so she knows she’s not asleep.

So, of course, that makes Shauna wonder. Where the fuck is her baby? 

There’s that flash of an image that courses through her mind – a reminder of one of the night terrors she had in regards to her baby boy just a couple days ago. How she heard his screams and his cries, only to find him being used as everyone’s form of satiation. She remembers their blood smeared faces and red teeth as they chewed and chewed and chewed–

“Shauna?” 

It’s like a bullet shoots through her back the moment she hears the softness of your voice fill the otherwise silent air of the cabin. It’s muffled at first, like she’s stuck in a bubble, but then her brain fully snaps out of the weird stupor she found herself in – the one full of fear and anxiety and distrust – and that’s when she suddenly recognizes the incoherent coo of her baby. You took him, she thinks to herself, and there’s a subtle emotion of anger and discontent towards that fact, but she also knows you – even if you haven’t talked to her nearly as much as the others have. Though even then, she knows that you wouldn’t do any of what her mind previously conjured up through dreams and intrusive thoughts. 

That’s all it is. Her mind. Playing tricks on her.

Because you’re kind, you’re careful – gentle – and, even if she didn’t think so when she first woke up, you’re sure as hell one of the only people who’s put in a valiant effort in trying to help her. Both throughout her pregnancy, and even now. Unlike Lottie, who acted like the biological father and insisted that her own child was some sort of incoming prophet, that he was going to change everything. But then you just stuck around, acting as some sort of safety net for her when she needed someone or something to fall back on. Because after losing Jackie, everything felt broken, like a train had gone off the rails and there was no way of pushing it back on track. 

But then you wiggled your way in, through soft words and empathetic or sympathetic glances, and she found herself letting you step through the tiny door of her heart. Because even though the thought of anyone seeing her as weak or incapable of taking care of herself made her want to recoil and die, she couldn’t deny that she needed it, and she couldn’t deny that she wanted you of all people to help her. And maybe that didn’t entirely sit well in her stomach for a good while – or even now, for that matter. That feeling of distrust towards everyone weighed her down, but you were insistent – in a good way, and so she found herself slowly getting over her own fear for the sake of eventually letting you in.

So she should have known you had taken him.

She forgot. 

She could only blame that on her fatigue. 

By the time Shauna turned around to look at you, the baby emitted a quiet coo, as his tiny hands reached up and grabbed at your fingers that you blindly wiggled down at him with your free limb. You were cradling him with your left arm, his head propped up by your bicep as he kicked his feet in the form of a stretch, but you were far more focused on the brunette before you, who looked completely distracted. It was hard to see her, but with the moon having peeked out from behind the trees it was once hiding behind, there was a slight glow on her face, which allowed you to take in the way she stood frozen in her stance and just… stared at you and her kid. 

The little baby in your arms was none the wiser, clearly in his element and content with using your fingers as his own personal form of entertainment. It helped you focus entirely on Shauna, though, when you tilted your head to the side slightly and spoke up, letting your voice break through the long-standing silence that almost suffocated the air. “You okay?” It was a simple question, but it held meaning, an intention, with the way your tone portrayed a genuineness to it. You were curious – maybe concerned, she wasn’t sure, but when you stepped forward slightly, trying to act as a form of comfort, it helped her confirm the fact that you weren’t putting on a facade, just to make her feel like she mattered. 

You actually do think she matters. 

She realized that, even with how slow her mind was being. 

“I was looking for him,” Shauna managed to utter. The response was sudden, and it almost made you flinch with how she didn’t really try to whisper amongst the two of you. But you weren’t offended, or mad for that matter. Just surprised, if not a little endeared by her lack of thoughtfulness. Because you know she’s tired, and you know that if she was wide awake, she probably would have actually put in an effort in keeping her voice down for the sake of not waking anyone up, or rousing the boy in your arms into a state of panic. But luckily, he’s clueless, stuck in his own little world that consisted of him holding your fingers like they were joysticks to an atari. 

“He’s right here,” you quietly assured, after a moment, as you settled your palm against his tiny belly and allowed him to lift your fingers up and down. He was so small, only about a week old, but for such a young little guy, he had been pretty responsive. “I noticed that you haven’t been getting any sleep ever since he came into the world,” you added on, shrugging your shoulders subtly, while Shauna shifted her eyes away from your own to stare down at the baby boy, who struggled to stay awake, as you bounced him slightly in your arms. His eyelids fluttered, and his stubby legs stretched out to hang off either side of your forearm, while you let out the softest huff you could muster, and continued. “I couldn’t sleep tonight, so I wanted to help.” 

Shauna hears your words, and she quickly takes them to heart, which causes her brow to furrow in thought, before she lifts her brown eyes away from her son to look up at you instead. “You didn’t have to do that,” she told you, as though she were almost scolding you. But you could only shrug her off with a shake of your head, knowing that she was just saying that to make herself seem stronger. Which – she was strong – but she also didn’t have to be. 

Not for this, at least. 

“I wanted to,” you quietly mumbled, as you stepped closer to her and sent her a small smile through the darkness of the room. You weren’t even sure if she could see the expression on your face, but you didn’t seem to find it in you to care, when you maneuvered past her and lowered the already sleeping child back into the crib. It forced Shauna to turn her body and watch you, and as you cradled his head and guided it to rest on the little bump underneath the blanket you were laying him onto, it caused her stomach to unintentionally flutter.

She wasn’t surprised that you were so delicate with the boy. Still, it managed to push her into a state of awe, as you slipped your hands out from underneath his body and stood back up to your full height. Through the darkness, she could see the way you stared down at him, admiring the way he peacefully spread out across the blanket, like a little starfish. And his fingers curling into fists were enough to convey to you that he had fully fallen asleep. It meant that your work in helping Shauna rest was done, and as you nodded to yourself and stepped back from the crib to silently make your leave, the brunette ended up reaching out and grabbing a hold of your wrist. 

It was surprising to her that you were thinking of leaving without saying anything, but after spending so many months with you in the wilderness, she guessed that she couldn’t be shocked. You’ve always been quiet, always kept to yourself and spoke to others only when they would speak to you. But that was a while back. Now you seemed a little more outgoing, but there was still a subtle shyness to you. Especially with the way you tensed slightly at her touch, and slowly turned around to look at her, as though you thought you were in trouble. However, you weren’t, and you seemed to recognize that when her fingers tightened slightly to squeeze your joint.

“Thank you,” Shauna stated, “really.”

You replied back with a simple nod and a sheepish smile. And that was when she let go of your wrist and allowed you to take a few steps towards the door and exit the room. And even then, you were as quiet as a mouse and mindful of the resting boy in the crib, and she couldn’t help but feel a certain type of way about you in turn.

It was a good feeling, though.

—————————————————————————

It was the crackling of the fireplace that acted as a form of ambiance to your mind, as you reclined along the window-side seat and stared out through the pane of glass. Your legs remained stretched out in front of you, socked feet moving mindlessly back and forth, while the incoherent murmurs of your teammates sounded off throughout the rest of the cabin, accompanying the resonation of wood crackling under intense heat. Snow fell from outside, coating the ground in even more of the white powder that had been nothing but unforgiving for the past two months, and you couldn’t help but wish for spring to come soon because of it.

There was a feeling that settled inside of your chest – intuition – that told you it was going to eventually melt away. Considering how often the sun had come out as of recent, it made sense. But for now, it was still cold, and you were more than happy to stay inside and admire the outer world from the comfort of the building you’ve been living in. Especially after spending the majority of the day doing chores, chopping wood that you took from the meat shed or shoveling the porch with the intention of keeping you and everyone else from being snowed in. Again. 

Your cheeks felt frozen by the time you stepped back inside of the cabin, but at least the fireplace was roaring with life, and at least Misty was there to give you a hot cup of water. She always made sure to do her part, and whether it was by helping or speaking up to give some sort of logical statement towards a certain idea or discussion, you appreciated her… quirks and all. And, sure, you would have definitely preferred hot chocolate or tea when she did gift you the treat, but beggars couldn’t be choosers, and so you found yourself feeling thankful either way. 

“My god, can you just stop squirming, please?” 

Mari’s voice managed to break out amongst the rest of the softer sounds that echoed throughout the cabin, and just from the frustration in her voice, you could tell that she was the one who had been tasked with taking care of the baby. Even after months of him being alive, Shauna still hadn’t named him, and a part of you was convinced she never would, with how her features always shifted into an expression of melancholy and deep, intense thought whenever she scrutinized the face of her child. You could understand that she was still trying to come to terms with the fact that she was a mom, and although you kept a respectful distance – not wanting to push anything or cross a boundary, you did want to help.

You had, in ways that consisted of making sure he didn’t keep her up at night with his crying. You were more than willing to deprive yourself of sleep for the sake of Shauna having her beauty rest, and it wasn’t like the little dude disliked you or anything. He always seemed happy to be in your arms when you paid him a late night visit and moved out of the brunette’s room to go and sit by the window bench. That spot always gave you front row seats to the moon and the way it shined through to act as his personal nightlight, and you cherished the moment, all while you slowly rocked him back to sleep with his head against your chest. But that was really the extent of your aid, other than feeding him or keeping an eye on him when no one else could. 

But you did find yourself curious as to what Mari was doing. Especially with the way she huffed and puffed about the baby boy and his desire to wiggle like that of a worm. The thought of him giving her a hard time made you sneakily smirk to yourself as you swung your legs off the bench, and the moment you turned your body to look towards the kitchen, you stood up to your full height, all while your eyes caught sight of the girl trying to put a – poorly made – knitted hat on his head. You weren’t sure who made it, but it certainly didn’t look like something someone would wear. And if they did… they sure as hell wouldn’t be able to make it look good. 

Even if it was on someone as cute as Shauna’s son.

He was sitting on the table, and with the way he let out a little whine and grumpily swung his arms up and down, you could tell that he didn't want the hat on his head. But Mari was incessant, muttering something about how it’ll keep him warm, and you could only roll your eyes, as you walked towards the kitchen and scrutinized the scene with an intention of saving the little boy from the girl’s control. Which seemed to go as well as it could, when she eventually lifted her focus away from him and looked at you instead, noticing your presence the moment the floor creaked beneath your feet. It didn’t take her long to let out a huff, before she picked up the baby by his waist and held him out to you as though he was some sort of toy. 

“Here, take him,” Mari grumbled, “I can’t deal with it anymore.” Her patience was practically nonexistent, which wasn’t something you were ignorant to. You remembered the time where she almost strangled Travis because he wouldn’t stop complaining the first week you and everyone else crash-landed in the middle of the forest, so it wasn’t surprising that she was experiencing it in the current moment. Granted, you couldn’t necessarily blame her, but maybe she wasn’t the best person to rely on when it came to babysitting Shauna’s kid. 

So, you were swift in reaching up and pulling the boy into the comfort of your arms, before you settled him onto your hip, and when he immediately rested his head onto your shoulder and tightened his fingers to ball up the fabric of your Wiskayok Yellowjackets hoodie, you felt your heart swell in your chest, discreetly relishing in the way he seemed so comfortable with you. Mari even seemed to don an expression of surprise herself – with a mixture of jealousy – too, when her eyes glanced down to look at the boy, who made a point to direct his attention somewhere else, as though he was holding a grudge against the girl in front of you. 

Like mother, like son, you think.

It was kind of an amusing sight, and you found yourself huffing lightheartedly, as you cradled his butt with your limbs and spoke up. “I don’t think that hat fits him, by the way.” You gave her a teasing look, only to glance down at the child in your hold for the sake of making sure he was okay. And he was, with the way his eyes were now closed, all while he breathed contently against your collarbone and continued to grip the fabric of your hoodie like a lifeline. 

“He was just being difficult,” Mari mumbled, seemingly ignoring your statement and deeming it as incorrect, while she folded her arms over her chest and moved her eyes down to look at the boy, too. “It would’ve fit if he just stopped moving.” 

You found yourself humming at her words, but the sound was entirely mindless, “Whatever you say.” It wasn’t long before you turned your head away from her and took a moment to glance around the vicinity of the cramped cabin. There was an intent in the action, and when you didn’t find who you were subconsciously looking for, you allowed your eyes to fall back onto Mari, while you sent her a look of wonder. “Do you know where Shauna is?”

“Why?” Mari uttered, a certain glint of… something you couldn’t entirely decrypt suddenly forming in her brown eyes, but when the corner of her lip curled up into a smirk, it gave you the slightest inkling that she was finding your question comical. “Miss her?” And you came out to be correct, which made you immediately scoff at her question, and it only caused that small smile to break out into a grin on her cheeks, “What? Don’t act like you haven’t been trying to worm your way into her heart,” she said, “you’re almost worse than Lottie. With her whole ‘our baby’ thing.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to help her out,” you stated, as you bashfully lowered your eyes, pretending to be occupied with the baby in your arms, who continued to rest comfortably within them. “It’s not easy being a single mom, and I don’t think Lottie’s whole ‘your baby is the key to make the wilderness happy’ bit is really helpful, either,” you added on, as heat rose to your cheeks at the distant thought of being perceived as some sort of lap dog for Shauna. And, granted, your valiant effort to defend her definitely didn’t help your case, but you couldn’t help it, considering the fact that Lottie had been a little… off ever since the baby boy was born. 

You weren’t unaware of the way she would just stare at you whenever you carried Shauna’s son. It was hard to understand if she was jealous of the sight, or if she had something on her mind and simply didn’t know how to address it. But maybe you were also overthinking it, and honestly, you couldn’t – and didn’t necessarily want to – bring yourself to think about it in the current moment, which caused you to quietly clear your throat, before you stepped back and gently hoisted the boy in your arms up to rest more comfortably on your hip. “Where’s Shauna?” you questioned again.

“I don’t know.” Mari shrugged, “Not here, clearly.”

Always the smartass, you thought to yourself, before you rolled your eyes and let out a heavy breath. It wasn’t long before you turned around and walked away from Mari, successfully deeming her as the most unhelpful person in the group, and you ultimately decided to search for Shauna on your own. The only place you could think she would be was the single bedroom within the cabin, and so you found yourself padding in that direction unconsciously, which caused the boy in your arms to tighten his grip on your hoodie, due to your movement. You weren’t even sure if she was going to be in there, but it was the only idea you had when it came to where she might have been, and so you went with the idea, secretly hoping you’d come out to be right. 

The murmurs of the rest of the group ended up disappearing by the time you eventually turned the corner and made it to the door, and when you noticed it slightly ajar, you didn't think anything of it, as you pressed on and pushed it open. It creaked, signifying its age, and you winced, as you glanced down at the baby in your arms, hoping that the high-pitch resonation didn’t stir him from his slumber. You were thankful, though, when all you received in return was a tiny grunt from him that portrayed his unconscious state, and it quelled the worry of possibly waking him up. His features were still relaxed, stuck deep in dreamland while he slightly drooled on your hoodie, and with a small smile at the sight, you lifted your head up to look forward.

You immediately froze in your place when your eyes fell onto Shauna.

The last thing you expected to see was her back, which was covered in nothing but the strap of her charcoal-colored bra and showing off her pallid skin-tone that was complimented by the few freckles that adorned it. They scattered across the expanse of her flesh like stars in the sky, and your pupils naturally flickered back and forth to admire each one. It felt like you had been punched in the gut, with the way your breath silently hitched in your throat, and a weight of something you couldn’t describe settled within your stomach. It wasn’t a negative feeling by any means, but you couldn’t deny the way you felt like some sort of pervert for having waltzed in without so much as knocking. 

You found yourself regretting your actions, though there was no way for you to rewind time or pretend like you had never stepped into the room to begin with. Especially when Shauna seemingly sensed your presence, as though she had some sort of sixth sense, and slowly turned her head to glance over her shoulder, peering at you with a form of curiosity in her brown eyes. You stood there, all the while, probably looking like an idiot, with the way you stared at her with a wide gaze and held her child in your arms stiffly. But you couldn’t find it in you to consciously assess how odd you might have come across. All you could do was stutter out some sort of apology, as you parted your lips and felt your stomach leap to your throat. “I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to just – uh…” 

Your voice trailed, and there was a certain air to Shauna’s demeanor that kept you from continuing, when you saw the ghost of an endeared smile fall onto her lips, before she turned back around and reached down to grab an old black band t-shirt that was tattered and had clearly seen better days. You remained idle in your spot, standing in front of the door as though you were a deer stuck in a pair of headlights, and as you dumbly watched the brunette pull the top over her head and allow it to fall down to cover her torso, there was a subtle feeling of disappointment that filled your chest. 

But you attempted to ignore it, while you swallowed and waited for her to reply. 

“Knocking exists, you know,” she uttered quietly, as she slowly turned around to completely face you, and lowered herself to sit down on the bed she had originally grabbed her shirt from. There was a subtle tone of lightheartedness in her voice, but you still felt embarrassment fill your body, as she gave you a tired, teasing look with her brown eyes and tilted her head to the side slightly. She clearly wasn’t offended by your intrusion, much to your own surprise, and that was when you found the ability to move your legs again, when you took a short step forward and bowed your head apologetically. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled, “I should’ve…” 

Shauna shook her head and shrugged, “It’s fine.” 

You decided to keep your lips tightly wound after her response, pressing them together tightly, and you treaded carefully as you sluggishly walked further into the room. Your legs kicked out slightly as you moved, and your eyes flickered around to take in the vicinity that you had found yourself in far more than you probably should have. Ever the conversationalists, neither one of you knew what to say next. Should you have said, ‘hey, here’s your baby,’ as though you were some pizza delivery person? That probably wouldn’t have been a good idea, considering he wasn’t food. But you didn’t know what else to do, except sit down beside her and silently hand her the child…

But even then, that didn’t feel right.

“Is he sleeping?” 

Shauna’s question broke through your muddled thoughts, and you found yourself immediately letting out a quiet breath of relief in turn, which was something you hoped she didn’t hear. When your eyes moved away from a random wall inside the room to meet her brown ones again, it didn’t seem like she picked up on the sound you made, when she simply stared at you with a certain type of earnestness that left you feeling warm inside. Her unwavering gaze after she inquired was enough to create a ball inside of your throat, and you found yourself trying to force it down with a swallow, as you slowly looked back down at the boy in your arms and nodded. 

“Yeah,” you affirmed, “he is.” Your verbal confirmation was the last thing you said, before you eventually made it close to her bed and sat down beside her. The mattress barely dipped with how firm and old it was, but you could still see the way she faintly jostled from the added weight, out of the corner of your eye. You found yourself focusing entirely on her son, though, when you gently maneuvered him in your arms and cradled him like he was a week old again. He was still light, easy to hold without feeling as though your limbs were about to fall off, but his hair had grown in, and it was blond. 

A dirty blond. 

His eyes were brown, though, and his nose looked like it was going to develop into a shape like Shauna’s, the older he got. That cute, slightly imperfect bridge that you always admired whenever you caught sight of the brunette’s side profile. His round face and little lips looked just like hers as well, and you found yourself fascinated and almost amused at how he barely looked like Jeff. Even with the blond hair that hadn’t fully grown in yet and made the little boy look like an old man who was balding. It was surreal, in a way. How the girl beside you had managed to create such a beautiful soul through an ongoing situation that left all of you feeling hopeless and dreadful. 

“I’m sorry.” 

It was the words of Shauna again that tugged you out of your daydream. You found yourself blinking a few times, and when you slowly pulled your eyes away from her son to gaze at her, she was already staring at you, looking into your irises with her brown ones that the baby in your arms carried, too. You had to stop yourself from admiring other parts of her face for the sake of conveying to her that you were listening, and when you mindlessly creased your brow in confusion towards her apology, she took that as her chance to continue, as she scooted closer to you and flickered her focus down towards the child you were holding. 

“I haven’t really been present,” she explained, clarifying herself, with a tone that conveyed shame, “for him.” You glanced down at her mouth for a split second, taking in the way that they were chapped and had dried-up blood on them, which you realized must have been from her anxiously nipping at her lips. Not only that, but it was also the winter, so you weren’t surprised, but even with the sight that didn’t necessarily look pleasant, you still found your stomach fluttering, before you shifted your attention back up to meet her gaze once again. 

You inevitably shook your head, finding your voice, “It’s okay,” you whispered, “I know things have been… hard, for you.” It was difficult to know what to say to help her feel better, but you put in a valiant effort to tread lightly, which seemed to work in your favor, when she slowly deflated and decided to lean closer to you and lower her head against your shoulder. The heavy sigh she let out shortly after was enough to convey that she’d been needing some form of comfort, and although you tensed slightly, you let her have it, as you continued and glanced down at the baby in your arms. “It’s not easy having a kid and then being expected to take care of it after everything that’s happened.”

“I did it to myself,” Shauna mumbled, as she pressed her thigh against yours and mindlessly plucked at the fabric of her t-shirt, “I shouldn’t have meddled with my best friend's love life.” Even with being trapped in the wilderness, there was still a certain air of intelligence in the way she spoke, and you couldn’t help the way the corner of your lip curled up, as you slowly nodded your head in response to her statement. “Now I’m paying for it.” Her tone was dry, ultimately, and you weren't sure if it was because of the fact that she didn’t have it in her to be sad about what happened, or if she was simply angry at herself now, for what she did. 

“At least he doesn’t look like Jeff,” you replied quietly, trying to lighten the mood in your own way, which caused Shauna to scoff dryly, as she pressed her cheek deeper into your shoulder and stared down at the sleeping boy in your arms. “Clearly your genes are stronger.” 

The conversation lulled slightly, but you weren’t surprised, when Shauna silently reached her hand out and wiped her thumb over the corner of her baby’s mouth. Dried spit, you realized, was what she was trying to make disappear, and it reminded you of the little stain you had on your hoodie from his drool, which created an emotion of amusement that fluttered through your chest as you watched her gently tend to her kid. It wasn’t a common occurrence. It was like she was scared to touch him, or hold him, or even be in a room alone with him. But at the same time, she was equally protective. She had mixed feelings, obviously, and you had a feeling as to why that was.

And you didn’t want to bring it up.

But it was nice to see her attentiveness, even if it was something that was short-lived, when she inevitably pulled her hand back from his face, and let it fall onto her lap. “I haven’t even named him,” she suddenly stated, and when you turned your head slightly to look down at her, she pulled her cheek away from your shoulder and sat back up to stare down at the floor between her legs. “I don’t even know how to be a mom,” she added on, and you frowned faintly, before you slowly stood up to your full height and ambled over to the boys’ crib, letting her words drift off into the air, while you settled him against the makeshift bed you and Van created for him, and tucked him under a shirt that acted as a blanket for his small body.

“No one does at first,” you eventually replied, pulling your hands away from him, before you stepped back from the crib and turned around to look at Shauna, who bounced her knee up and down anxiously, not meeting your gaze. “No one gives you a rule book on how to be a parent, Shauna,” you reminded her, “it’s not easy… but that’s why we’re here–” 

“You.” 

Shauna’s mumble cut you off, and you paused to scrutinize her, “What?” 

“You’re here,” she said, as she slowly lifted her head up to meet your eyes, “not them.” Your features faintly flinched in surprise, and when you shifted in your stance and shoved your hands into the pockets of your pajama pants that were just as tattered as all your other clothes, she continued. “You’ve been the only one who’s, like… actually helped me ever since I had him,” she explained, “I mean, other than Van, who helped make the crib with you, you’ve been here to take care of him, while I’ve just…” her voice trailed off, and she shrugged her shoulders, clearly at a loss for what else to say. 

“You’ve got other stuff to deal with,” you uttered, trying to defend her from herself. 

But Shauna shook her head, while you slowly trailed back towards the bed and watched her intently. “Like wallowing and resenting my own child who hasn’t done anything to deserve it?” You let out a deep breath when you turned around and lowered yourself to sit down beside her, and as your brow creased into a look of thought, she felt her eyes sting with unshed tears. “I’ve been the worst mom – you’re more of a parent than I am–” 

“Shauna, stop,” you stated, shaking your head, before you looked at her and watched the way she pulled her face out of her hands and sighed shakily, “you’re not a bad mom,” you told her, “I mean… it’s normal to feel like shit after giving birth,” you added on, with the intention of making her feel less guilty, “postpartum depression is a thing, and you’re probably dealing with that on top of… y’know.” Shauna’s brow furrowed at your words, and when she shifted her brown eyes to meet yours, you could tell she was confused by how you knew that, which caused you to quickly clarify, as you shrugged. “I paid attention in health class.”

“Of course you did,” Shauna laughed out, her voice thick with emotion, as she shook her head and smiled sadly at your words. You chuckled quietly in response to her reaction, feeling a sense of pride swell in your chest towards the fact that you made her giggle, but when she sniffled and glanced down to stare at a certain spot on your face, you felt your heart leap to your throat. “How come we never really talked… before all of this?” she questioned suddenly, as her pupils fluttered back up to meet your gaze, not allowing you the chance to truly dwell on the subtle action, “We were on the same team, yet we barely ever spoke to each other.” 

“Was kinda intimidated by you, actually,” you mumbled sheepishly, which caused her to give you an expression of disbelief, clearly unable to understand what might have been so scary about her. And it caused you to shrug your shoulders, as you shyly turned your head away and stared down at your lap, suddenly feeling small. Like you were exposed entirely. “I don’t know… I always wanted to talk to you, but I just… couldn’t?” You pursed your lips and pressed your palms together, and when you intertwined your fingers, you felt your cheeks heat up as you breathed in deeply and confessed through an exhale, “Guess I was just too scared to talk to a girl that I thought was pretty.” 

At your words, Shauna could only stare at you, her brown eyes focusing on the defined features of your side profile and the way you clenched your jaw tightly out of nervousness, as you stared contemplatively at the floor. Your nostrils flared with a breath, and her heart thudded against her ribcage once that only signified the way your words made her feel. It was a random beat at first, but then it happened again, and again, and again. It cemented her feelings – the way you had secretly made her feel over the span of two months hitting her like an unforgiving truck, and it caused her to swallow thickly, as she broke her focus away from your face and gazed down at your hands instead. 

She wasn’t sure what to say, and it was obvious that the silence that ensued wasn’t one that made either one of you feel comfortable. You shifted awkwardly in your spot, your face feeling flush, while Shauna lost herself in her own mind and continued to stare down at your interwoven fingers. It felt as though you were sixteen again, dealing with your first crush and experiencing mental gymnastics when it came to how you were going to confess that you liked the person you had eyes for. And granted, you were older now, but after spending… however many months in the wilderness, it felt like your social skills had vanished, and you were left ignorant again. 

As well as a fool that had no grasp on how to say, ‘I like you’ to a cute girl.

It felt like hours had passed – when in actuality it was a minute, before you eventually cleared your throat awkwardly and lifted your chin to allow your eyes to shift away from the floor and towards Shauna’s instead. Your lips parted, as if to try and say something – or to defend yourself for what you had already stated – but nothing came out. And while the brunette seemed to find herself frozen in the way she continued to gaze down at your tense hands, you studied her expression, noticing how her features were taut with contemplation and something deeper, but indecipherable.

“I’m sorry.” 

You suddenly apologized, without thinking, and when your voice – soft throughout the air – broke through the clouded thoughts of Shauna’s mind, that was when she blinked and jolted back into reality. Her brown eyes snapped up to your face, feeling them sting with unshed tears, and your brow furrowed to express your genuine guilt for making her feel uncomfortable. But she wasn’t uncomfortable. She was just… shocked. And confused. Because she had always been used to being second best, or stuck in the shadow of someone who was deemed as far more important than she ever could be. But even when Jackie was alive and she was actively experiencing the woes of being ‘the sidekick’ and ‘just the best friend,’ you still noticed her.

Still saw her as Shauna Shipman. 

Not Jackie’s best friend.

And it made her angry that you waited so fucking long to say something. 

To give her any sort of idea that you liked her.

Maybe it was the postpartum hormones that made Shauna swell with a mixture of frustration and sadness, or maybe it was just her, and it had nothing to do with the after effects of her giving birth. Either way, you saw a tear slip from the corner of her brown eye, and she could feel the salty droplet and the way it streaked down her cheek in an almost poetically depressing way. It only caused your breath to hitch in your throat, the guilt in your chest increasing drastically, and when you tried to reach your hand up to wipe away the stain, she grabbed your wrist, halting your movement, just as your fingers grazed over the skin of her face. 

“Shit, I’m sorry–” 

Ever the apologist, Shauna cut you off before you could complete your sentence, when she pushed your wrist down to pin it against your lap and suddenly leaned forward to press her lips against your own. The action was done with a swiftness that left your mind reeling and your body tensing as your body leaned back slightly, but when she unconsciously squeezed your joint that she held onto like a lifeline, you snapped out of your shock. The roughness of her mouth – chapped and dry – against your own, wasn’t unwanted. Especially not when you had been wanting to kiss her for the past year and a half. So it only made sense to relax into it, when you breathed out through your nose and allowed your eyes to flutter shut.

You promptly followed her lead, creating a game that consisted of her pushing and you pulling, as your lips parted to slot together like a perfect puzzle piece. Her grip tightened on your joint all the more, and although her fingernails lightly dug into your skin, it wasn’t enough to get you to move away from her. If anything, it urged you closer to her, when you reached up with your free hand and cupped her cheek. Your mouths moved together, quiet sounds of them smacking together intermixing with the soft breaths that the two of you let out, and before you could even realize what was happening, you were being pushed back against the firm mattress, which allowed her to pin your wrist she grasped above your head, while your other palm fell away from her face to rest against your stomach. 

Shauna pulled her lips away from you in that same moment, and when you let out a quiet pant and fluttered your eyes open, she was already looking down at you with a certain emotion in her brown irises. You weren’t sure what it meant, but with how hazy your mind felt, and with how quick your heart thumped inside of your chest, you couldn’t bring yourself to grow concerned. Especially not with the way she loomed over you, and allowed her fingers to finally loosen around your wrist. Your focus shifted in turn, to watch her as she slid them up and over your palm, before they curled between your own and eventually intertwined in a way that felt like a perfect fit.

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner,” you mumbled, after a moment, as your eyes shifted back to meet the brunette’s. But Shauna could only shake her head dismissively, not wanting to talk about feelings, before she leaned down and pressed her lips against yours once again. 

You immediately reciprocated that time, no longer hesitant to succumb to the concept of loving her, and when you happily hummed against her mouth, she felt her stomach flip, as a weight of tension slipped off of her shoulders.

Just like water. 

—————————————————————————

There was something oddly therapeutic about the sounds of a baby giggling. The belly laughs that were infectious and left anyone who heard them grinning from ear to ear like an idiot. That may or may not have been you in the current moment, as you watched as Shauna blew raspberries into her boys’ belly from where he laid on her bed. His arms and legs swung back and forth to signify just how ticklish her actions had made him, and you felt your heart swell with affection towards the two, while you watched her pull herself up to look down at him with an expression on her face that conveyed nothing but admiration and love towards the child. 

She named him Jackson.

Because although she had her own personal qualms about Jackie, the thought of forgetting her like a distant memory wasn’t something Shauna could ever fathom, and you couldn’t blame her for it. You remembered having the conversation with her, shortly after you and her started dating, and you were all for it, because you knew how much she loved her best friend, even if the last time they spoke didn’t end on the best terms. She saw it as a form of an apology, in her own way. And although you didn’t fully understand – not nearly as well as she did – you went along with it, because it was her choice in the end, and there was no way in hell you were going to control what she did. 

Besides, Jackson was a cute name. 

It fit him. 

You snapped back into reality when a little fist smacked against your cheek, and you were quick to jolt back slightly, as you blinked and looked down at Jackson, who clearly wasn’t aware of what he had just done. He was far too focused on Shauna tickling his sides teasingly, and when he let out a high-pitch squeal as she picked him up, you chuckled softly, before your eyes flickered up to look at your girlfriend, who seemed a lot happier than two months ago, when you shared your first kiss with her. There was a certain glow to her. One that radiated from under all the dirt and grime that seemed to stain her face, even after washing it with water at the lake just an hour ago, and it made you happy in turn. 

She would never fully heal, you knew that. None of you would, realistically… once you all got out of this mess. But at least she was searching for the good in things now, trying to actively find optimism, rather than the pessimism she had been so used to embodying. And you were well aware that she would always be Shauna. The girl who didn’t get as excited over the things that you or other people would. Or the girl who found far more enjoyment in staying in and reading a book, rather than going out and mingling with people at a party she didn’t truly want to attend. Hell, even now, stuck in the wilderness, she acted like a ghost who occasionally payed the rest of the cabin a visit.  

But it wasn’t a bad thing. 

It would never be a bad thing.

“Hey. Earth to Y/n?” 

You blinked back into reality the moment Shauna’s voice broke through the fog of your mind, and you quickly realized that your eyes had fallen back down without you knowing, which ended in you intensely staring at the spot Jackson had once been laying. All that sat there now was a vacant spot, and it left the brunette feeling slightly worried. Especially with the way your gaze sat unwavering, simply focused down at the sheets, as though they were the most interesting thing in the world to you. It was obvious enough to you that she had put her son down to rest for the remainder of the day, and as you let out a quiet exhale through your nose and flickered your eyes up to meet your girlfriend’s, you rolled over onto your back and raised your brow in silent questioning.

“Hm?” You attempted to play off your daydream with a lackadaisical demeanor, but when Shauna scrunched her features up in both perplexity and concern, you knew you had failed miserably. Her brown eyes practically bored into yours, and you couldn’t bring yourself to avert your gaze, as you watched her move and sit back down on the mattress, before she clasped her hands together, so that they could rest comfortably in her lap, and gave you a certain look. 

“What do you mean, ‘hm’?” she teased lightly with a smirk, as she shook her head in amusement towards your poor ability to play off your bout of distraction. She crossed her legs over the other in that same moment, and when you shrugged your shoulders and sluggishly pushed yourself up into a sitting position, she tilted her head to the side and sent you an expression that conveyed nothing but genuine curiosity. “What were you doing?” she asked, while you stared at her silently, like someone who had been caught doing something they shouldn’t have.

“Just thinkin’,” you admitted, giving her another shrug, as the corners of your lips quirked up faintly. Shauna only rolled her eyes at your simple statement, and when you let out a quiet huff in response, she used your reaction as proof that you were okay.  

Though, even then, your vague explanation gave her the excuse to scoot closer to you, and you found yourself mindlessly leaning into her, as she reached her hand up to cup your cheek. “About what?” She gently rubbed the pad of her calloused thumb over the skin that sat underneath your eye, the touch almost featherlight in the way it felt against you. And you pressed into the feeling, almost melting against the warmth of her palm that cradled the side of your face, which caused her to smile softly in turn, finding satisfaction in how comfortable you were to her affection.

“You,” you eventually replied, before you raised a hand up and curled your fingers around her wrist, “and Jackson.” You gently held the joint in your grasp and turned your head slightly to press your lips against the heel of her palm, “Thinking about how so much has changed. In a good way.” You tugged it away from your face to bring that part of her body down into your lap, and she felt her heart warm, the moment you moved your thumb across the lines that decorated her limb. “I’m happy that you’re both here… that I’m with the two of you,” you mumbled, your voice coming out as a quiet whisper, as you lowered your chin to gaze down at what you were doing. 

Your introspective thoughts about Shauna and Jackson weren’t uncommon, and she knew that, considering the fact that you often found yourself daydreaming when it came to her and her son. How you would stare, and stare, and stare, until she’d eventually notice and snap you out of it with a question. Hell, sometimes your mind buzzed so much to the point where you would wake up in the middle of the night and head outside to sit on the porch. And then you would just… think, about her, or Jackson, or about your teammates that also resided in the cabin. And it was all while you listened to the randomly occurring sounds of owls hooting, or birds flapping their wings and rustling the leaves that they hid within.

“You always have a habit of becoming sappy after we put Jackson to bed,” Shauna uttered suddenly, as she glanced down at your fingers, and watched the way they continued to trace over the lines of her palm. “You know that, right?” You simply shrugged your shoulders, feeling the corner of your lip curve up into a soft, innocent smirk that was entirely mindless, and it caused a quiet huff of endearment to slip from the brunette, before she scooted closer to you – her knee pressing against your thigh – and used her free hand to pinch your chin with her index and thumb, as she slowly tugged your focus up to meet her own once again. 

“I can’t help it,” you replied softly, the moment you met her gaze, smiling a little brighter. The brunette flickered her brown eyes between your own, clearly stuck in a bout of admiration towards the way the color of your irises fit the different contours and features of your face perfectly, and your only form of defense consisted of you shrugging – again – as you pressed your lips together tightly. “It’s not my fault you’re you and he’s him.” It was clear she didn’t know what you meant by those words, with the way her brow faintly creased in reaction to your statement, but she couldn’t bring herself to question you.

She found your form of affection too endearing to try and deconstruct it.

With Shauna still pinching the bottom of your chin, you remained frozen in your spot, staring at her intently and with a certain glint of softness shining in your eyes. “You’re a dork,” she found herself pointing out, and you immediately brightened in reply, when she let out a loving chuckle and tugged you forward slightly, just so she could press her mouth to your own. Her sound of amusement died down the moment the tip of your nose brushed against her own, and when she tipped her head up slightly to graze her lips over your own, her eyelids fluttering, that was when you pushed in and kissed her, making the connection.

There wasn’t a feeling of anxiety or nervousness that filled your chest, as your hand slowly came up to cradle the side of her neck. It wasn’t like the first time you kissed her. Wasn’t a moment full of uncertain movement and uncoordinated positions that left the two of you huffing out embarrassed laughs and flushing with heat. There was intent and fluidity that went into it now, but even if you and her still acted like you had never shared a peck before, you still would have enjoyed the moment either way. But maybe you were also appreciative of the fact that you didn’t feel like you were going to explode anymore, just from feeling her against you.

With the way you were positioned on the bed, it wasn’t difficult for Shauna to shift onto her knees and use one of her hands to press it against your hip bone. Her other limb cradled your face tenderly, her touch possessive but equally gentle, and the moment your back fell against the mattress, and your head was suddenly cradled by the pillow, that was when her lips fell away from you. With a panting breath, your eyes fluttered open and stared up at her to see her own brown irises gazing down at you already, but before you could say anything to her, she was already leaning down – disappearing from your line of vision – to peck the side of your neck.

There was intention in the action, and it made you flush with heat, as she nestled herself between your legs and pressed her palms against your hips to keep herself from falling on top of you. Your eyelids fluttered when you felt the heat of her breath against the skin of your jaw, and as she kissed the line of it, just underneath your ear, your voice broke through the silence, as your head lulled to the side to stare towards the door of the room, which was already closed and providing the two of you with privacy. “What if someone comes in?” you questioned weakly, your voice lacking its usual confidence, as Shauna moved her hand down slightly and slipped her fingers underneath your shirt. 

“Everyone’s outside enjoying the sun,” she mumbled against your flesh, while you tensed up and let out a shaky breath as she smoothed her fingers up your stomach. You ultimately moved past the possibility of anyone barging into the room, even if her words didn’t fully convince you, but when her nails lightly tickled your skin, you couldn’t stop the quiet giggle that slipped from your lips, as your hand shot down to grab her forearm. 

Shauna let out a huff at your action, and you weren’t sure if it was out of annoyance or amusement. But when she nipped at your earlobe with her teeth and curled her fingers to continue lightly grazing her nails over the skin of your belly, you could tell she was simply trying to spur you on in the way you originally reacted. And it seemed to work in her favor, when you tightened your grip on her forearm and let out a quiet grunt that did nothing but convey your displeasure and sensitivity towards her teasing. 

“Shauna,” you groaned quietly, pushing at her limb.

But she didn’t budge, and she only moved her hand to hold your side instead, as she leaned back slightly to gaze down at you, her dilated pupils locking with yours. “What?” she asked, though you knew the question was entirely rhetorical, when you noticed the ghost of a smirk form on her lips, “I’m not doing anything.” Her faux innocence made you roll your eyes, and she chuckled in turn, finding your attitude comical to her, before she hunkered down to kiss the bone of your cheek, as her hand that lingered on your waist suddenly smoothed lower to tease at the waistband of your shorts. 

Her movements still managed to make you squirm, the action ticklish to you, though you also couldn’t deny the way it made your heart speed up, while she watched your expression intently. She searched for any sort of visible response from you, as she hooked her fingers over the elastic, and with the way your eyes flitted to meet her brown ones, it was easy to see the way your features shifted into a look of subtle surprise, the moment you felt the featherlight touch of her fingers graze over the band of your underwear. 

“I’ll go slow–” 

“Guys! Guys!” 

At the sudden voice, which erupted throughout the cabin like an annoying alarm, Shauna’s hand jolted out of your pants as though she had been burned with fire, while you sucked in a sharp breath and snapped your focus towards the door. It opened just as your girlfriend leaned back on her heels with an almost frustrated huff slipping from her lips, and while you propped yourself up onto your elbows, you saw the figure of Van peek through the gap they had created. 

Their eyes were as wide as saucers, and their expression was the brightest you had ever seen since you all became trapped in the wilderness. It made your brow furrow in turn, while the brunette stared at them with an unimpressed expression on her features, clearly unhappy towards the fact that the moment had been ruined between you and her. “What, Van?” 

You snorted quietly at Shauna’s perturbed response, and Van completely ignored it, when they grinned widely and frantically glanced between the two of you with a glint of excitement in their blue eyes. “Nat waved down a fucking helicopter.” Their words were enough to make your face scrunch up in confusion, almost not believing them, and when you pushed yourself up into a sitting position and narrowed your eyes at the goalkeeper, they didn’t even give you the chance to ask what they meant, when they answered the question for you.

“They found us, guys,” Van stated, clarifying themself, “we can finally get out of here.”

This took me way too long to finish.

[ssajemilyprentiss]

In the air

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x reader 

Warnings: Smut, angsty-ish, reader is a bit cold/lacks emotion, Emily is a bit out of character lol (just this once), mentions of death (you know the regular cm stuff), sexual tension (or more like an attempt at it lol), curse words, eating out, vaginal fingering, nipple/breast play, dirty talk, use of pet names, degradation, praise. Let me know if i forgot something - Also MINORS DNI

Summary: When you get brought in for questioning at the FBI and they have Emily interrogate you - the tension between you is instant.

Wordcount: 2k

A/N: Um hello I guess, I’m back lol. It has been a hot minute since I both wrote and posted on here, and tbh I am a lil scared doing this again. Even tho I love posting and writing I have been so uninspired and unmotivated for so so long for some reason. But I will try to post more, can’t make any promises tho lol. 

The beginning of this has been sitting in my drafts for god knows how long and I wanted to do something with it so here I am doing it lmao

Also a reminder if it has been forgotten, english is not my first language - and I would deeply appreciate your thoughts and opinions on this, thanks besties <3

This was requested by the lovely Jas @rafetopia​​​ (you requested this such a long time ago so you have probably forgotten it, and i can’t find your ask either, sorry about that lmao) who wrote the following: “so what if you wrote a blurb or one shot with emily (or jj tbh i don’t really care i love them both) and there are some murders and the reader is the suspect and there’s a hot interrogation session (i’m a sucker for it) but the ending is up to you like if she’s innocent or not (only if you want to lol) i didn’t want to make it too specific so you still have freedom 😅”

I decided to go with Emily for this one, hope that’s fine Jas (also hope it's fine i added the smut lmao) thank you for this request and i hope this turns out the way you wanted to <3

☽ My masterlist here

☽ Want to request something from me? Take a look here

You let out a deep sigh, crossing your legs for what felt like the hundredth time. The dark, pale interrogation room at the FBI headquarters was freezing cold and you feel yourself getting goosebumps from the chilly atmosphere. How long had you been sitting here? An hour? Two? Who knew? No one had told you anything yet, and none of the agents who showed up and arrested you had come in. Just as you’re about to uncross your legs the door opens and a grey-haired goddess of an FBI agent steps inside the room, her commanding presence immediately taking over the room. She takes a seat across from you, not saying anything. She stares deadpanned at you but all you can think about her eyes - dark brown, almost black, and you feel how you could get lost staring into them. The next thing you see is her nose, straight and pointy - one of her defining features for sure. Your eyes move on to her lips, they are full with a hint of red - red is definitely her color. You keep staring at her lips, biting your own lower lip as you do. You sit in silence for you don’t know how long, until she breaks the silence by clearing her throat. Your eyes shoot up from her lips into her eyes once again, and you see a sly smile forming on her mouth before she starts talking:

“My name is Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss, I’m a profiler with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit” she takes a breath before continuing “do you know why you’re here Ms. Y/L/N?”

“Actually I don’t” you reply, your lips forming a small smirk “but please agent, do enlighten me”

“You are here on suspicion of murder” 

“Murder?” you retort, raising an eyebrow

“Correct, murder” she replies, tossing pictures on the table - but you keep staring into her eyes. 

“Look at the pictures” she demands

You do, and see yourself in all of them - together with different women. You look up at the agent again with a blank expression. 

“Do you recognize the women in the pictures?” she asks

“Well yes I do” you reply

You point to one of them “That’s me right there” 

“‘I mean the other women” she retorts annoyed

“Oh, silly me” you chuckle “well yes I recognize them too”

“Go on” she says

“Well, as you can see I’ve met them all” 

“Doing what?”

“Do you really wanna know that, Agent Prentiss?” 

“Go on” she encourages you “What about her?” she asks, holding up one of the photos

You look at the photo for a while, it’s of you and one of the girls you had met - what was her name? Mia? Sophia?

“She was a pleasure”

“How come all the women you have met turned up dead just a few days after meeting you?” she asks, her tone accusatory 

“Don’t know” you reply, shrugging your shoulders

“This isn’t a game Y/N, people are dead” she says, venom lacing her tone

“Don’t you think I know that?” you scoff “well I didn’t kill them”

“Where were you on these dates and times?” she asks, sliding a piece of paper with them written down towards you

“Well I can tell you that on all these dates I was very busy” 

“With what?” she asks

You bite your lip again before answering “Well I was with my very good friend Izzie”

She sighs “And you were doing?”

You lean back in your chair, keeping your eyes fixed on hers as you do “You know the usual - shopping, drinking coffee, eating”

“Eating what?” she asks

You chuckle lightly “We were eating a lot of things, if you know what I mean” you say as you raise an eyebrow at her. You see how she takes a second, thinking about what you’re saying, but if your answer startles her - she doesn’t give it away. 

“To be fair Y/N” Emily sighs “I’m getting kinda tired of this” 

“Likewise” you reply, crossing your arms

Emily leans across the table, staring into your eyes. Her hands firmly gripping the table, and you imagine them gripping your body instead. You are woken from your fantasy by her hot breath right next to your ear. You feel the hairs on your arms raising and how wetness starts pooling between your legs.

“So why won’t you just tell me the truth, like a good girl” she whispers, nipping lightly at your ear

You take a sharp breath, exhaling shakily and not daring to move a muscle. 

“Tell me Y/N” she whispers again “do you want to be my good girl?”

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. She chuckles lightly and tuts

“None of that now, I want to hear you say it” she whispers

You whimper lightly and swallow, just as you’re about to open your mouth the door opens and you and Emily get away from each other, she sits down in her chair composing herself. You sit back in your chair, feeling out of breath. You lock eyes with a tall grumpy agent who stares deadpanned at you. 

“You’re free to go Ms. Y/L/N” he says

“What?” you ask, shocked

“You’re free to go” he repeats “your alibi checks out”

You get up from the chair and as you’re about to leave the room you stop right by Emily’s ear and whisper:

“That was fun, we should do it again sometime” 

You don’t give her time to reply, swiftly exiting the room. On the way out you feel all the other agents staring at you as you walk past them, but all you can do is smirk - thinking back at the moment you just had with Emily - and how you need to get rid of the wetness between your legs the first thing you do when you get home. 

/

The sun was shining outside the BAU, and you close your eyes taking a deep breath. You felt your phone vibrating in your pocket, picking it up you see your uber is on its way. You close your eyes and exhale once more, but before you know it someone is behind you and pushes you against the wall of the building, their hand on your throat. You feel your air supply being cut off and open your eyes in panic, and there in front of you is the grey-haired goddess of an FBI agent once more. She releases the pressure against your throat a little, but keeps her hand steady. You gasp for air as she leans towards you. 

“Listen here you little slut” she says “I don’t think you’re as innocent as you make it look, but to be honest right now I don’t give a fuck”

You don’t answer, focusing on your breathing

“But what I’m more interested in right now is to keep our little party going” she says, backing away “If you want to?”

You raise an eyebrow at her, but can tell from the look on her face that she is serious. You chuckle, looking down at your feet with a sly smile - you look up again, meeting her brown eyes and reply:

“I’d never thought you’d ask”

/ 

She pulls you inside her apartment, dragging you towards her bedroom. She pushes you against the wall once again and presses her lips against yours. You moan into her mouth as your hands caress her body, reaching her breasts. 

“Let me take your shirt off” you pant into her mouth

She pulls away and you pull her shirt over her head, and then do the same with yours. You take off her bra while she does the same with yours. She trails her kisses along your neck, and you throw your head back, giving her full access. She stops by your pulse point, sucking hard on it. You close your eyes and moan as she does, your hands finding her breasts. You start rubbing one of her nipples between your fingers, causing her to moan against your neck. She keeps trailing kisses further down on your body and reaches your breasts. She takes one of your nipples in her mouth, circling her tongue against it. 

“Holy fuck” you breathe out “keep doing that”

She chuckles lightly against your nipple before pinching it lightly with her teeth, making you yelp. 

“Lay down on the bed” she says

You obey, laying down on your back

“You’re so wet for me, aren’t you?” she asks, smirking

You lick your lips and nod, staring up at her. 

She lowers herself, trailing kisses along your stomach down towards your pussy. You feel your clit pulsing and wetness dripping between your legs. 

“Spread those legs for me” she says, and you obey instantly “let me see that pretty pussy of yours” 

She starts kissing your inner thighs slowly, just brushing over your clit lightly when she switches from one leg to the other. 

“Please” you pant, putting your hands in her hair directing her towards your clit “Please stop teasing and fuck me”

“As you wish princess” she says and start sucking forcefully on your clit, making you moan hard of the instant pleasure she gives you

“Such a good girl” she says against your clit, and you thrust your hips forward, looking for more. She chuckles softly and starts licking up and down your slit, and she easily slips two fingers into you - thrusting them slowly. 

“Harder please” you pant “I’m gonna cum”

She picks up her pace, her thrusts becoming more determined, and your eyes starts fluttering from the overwhelming pleasure that is approaching you

“Cum for me” she husks and circle your clit once more, your orgasm washing over you like a wave of pleasure 

“Fuck” you breathe out as she starts lapping up your juices

She kiss you and you taste yourself on her tongue, and then you flip her over - with her underneath you this time

“My turn” you coo and lick your lips, pinning her wrists above her head as you caress one of her nipples with your tongue

"So perfect" you murmur "Perfect tits. Perfect ass. Perfect everything" 

You work your way down her body, kissing her 

“Please” she breathes heavily “I need you”

“Where do you need me?” you ask, kneading her breasts once more 

“Inside” she whimpers “your fingers inside”

You lick a line along her slit, tasting her wetness 

“My my” you chuckle “do I make you this wet?” 

“Yes” she groans “please just fuck me”

You slide two fingers inside of her, thrusting them slowly as you lower yourself towards her clit and take it in your mouth. She moans deeply and arches her back, and you start picking up your pace. 

“Please” she breathes “need more”

You add another finger smoothly, and let her adjust a little before you start thrusting again, and you curl your fingers at her g-spot and start circling your tongue on her clit again - feeling her walls clenching against your fingers

“Yes” she cries out “just like that, I’m cumming” 

You pick up the pace, flicking her clit harder and thrust your finger faster. 

You feel her orgasm taking over, and she cries out from pleasure. You keep thrusting, helping her ride out her orgasm. When she has calmed down you slip out your fingers and take them in your mouth, cleaning her juices from them - and you moan once again from her taste. 

The two of you crash down on the bed next to each other, panting heavily. 

“That was good” she whispers

“So fucking good” you reply and she chuckles at you, turning her head towards you

You stare into Emily’s dark brown eyes once again, the first thing you had noticed about her when she walked into that interrogation room what felt like an eternity ago. Whatever lies behind those beautiful brown eyes is one mystery you would spend your entire life solving. 

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Taglist: @rafetopia / @ssa-sapphic  / @sweetmidnights / @alexbllake / @emilyprsntiss / @sleep-deprived-athlete / @jemilyssecretlover /  @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos / @cmslvtt / @phatcrackdad / @rookie-prentiss (this taglist is sooo old, so i'm sorry in advance if you don't want to be tagged, just let me know and i'll delete you <3)

[awkward-walking-potato]

I do hope you’re still doing Wolverine requests!

if so, mayhaps I request a Logan x mutant!gn!reader where the reader is much older than Logan (and has more experience of history than he does), and Logan likes to ask questions (asking if they’re comfortable with it at first since he doesn’t want to bring up some unpleasant memories) about things that happened before he was even alive? I’d like that, but if not then that’s alright!

Echoes of Time

The fire crackled softly, casting a warm glow over the cabin’s cozy interior. Logan leaned back in his chair, a glass of whiskey resting on his knee, his eyes flicking between the flames and you, sitting across from him. The quiet moments between missions, when it was just the two of you, always seemed to settle something deep in his chest.

You sat comfortably, your gaze distant but serene, as though you were caught somewhere between the present and the distant past. And Logan knew that, in some ways, you were. After all, you had been alive for far longer than him. Decades, maybe even centuries — your experiences far surpassed his, both in length and in breadth.

It was something that had always fascinated him. Even with his extensive, albeit fragmented, memories of the past century, Logan felt like a child when it came to the sheer scope of your experience. Yet, despite your age and wisdom, you had always been patient with him, never treating him as though he were lacking in some way.

Tonight, though, something stirred in Logan’s mind. He took a slow sip of his whiskey, glancing at you once more before speaking up, his voice soft, almost tentative.

"Can I ask you something, darlin'?"

You blinked, your gaze snapping back to the present as you looked at him. "Of course, Logan. What’s on your mind?"

He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to tread on sensitive ground, but his curiosity was strong. "I was just wonderin'... if you're comfortable with it, could you tell me about… y’know, things from before? Stuff that happened long before I was around."

Your expression softened, and you could see the careful way he chose his words. Logan had always been considerate about your past, understanding that someone with your history might have painful memories. But at the same time, he couldn’t help his fascination with the things you had seen, the world you had lived through before he was even born.

"I don't want to bring up anything unpleasant," he added quickly, his gruff voice tinged with concern. "But if you're alright with it, I just... I like hearin’ your stories. Helps me understand things better. Understand you better."

You smiled, a warmth spreading in your chest at his sincerity. "You don’t have to worry, Logan. I don’t mind talking about the past. Some parts of it were hard, sure, but others… others were beautiful."

Logan nodded, setting his glass down on the table beside him as he leaned forward, his full attention on you. "What was it like, back then? The world, before all this madness with wars, and mutants, and everything?"

You paused, gathering your thoughts as you sifted through centuries of memories. "It wasn’t always easy. The world was harsher in some ways, and simpler in others. People were the same, though — always struggling, always dreaming. I saw empires rise and fall, entire civilizations come and go."

Logan’s eyes narrowed in curiosity. "Did you ever get caught up in all that? The wars and the politics?"

You chuckled softly. "It was hard not to, sometimes. But I tried to keep my distance when I could. I learned early on that being a part of human conflicts rarely ended well for someone like me."

Logan grunted in understanding, leaning back in his chair. "Yeah, I get that."

There was a pause, the firelight flickering across the room as Logan studied you, the weight of your words sinking in. He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Did you ever meet anyone… famous? You know, like historical figures?"

You smiled at the question, your mind drifting back to encounters long past. "A few. Some of them weren’t as impressive as the history books make them out to be. But there were a handful who were truly remarkable — people who made you believe in change, even when it seemed impossible."

Logan nodded thoughtfully, processing everything you said. His hand absentmindedly scratched the back of his neck as he continued. "I imagine you saw a lot of good people come and go. That must’ve been tough."

You exhaled softly, the sadness of those memories weighing on your chest. "It was. Losing people is never easy, no matter how much time passes. But I try to hold onto the good memories, the ones that make it all worth it."

Logan’s eyes softened as he watched you, sensing the deep emotions you carried. He reached out, taking your hand in his, the roughness of his touch gentle, grounding. "You’re a tough one, you know that?"

You smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. "I’ve had to be."

Logan studied your face for a moment, his thumb brushing gently over your knuckles. "Must’ve been lonely, though. Goin’ through all that on your own."

"It was," you admitted softly. "But it’s different now."

Logan’s gaze held yours, a silent understanding passing between you. He knew what you meant — that in this moment, with him, you weren’t alone. And the weight of the past, while still present, didn’t feel quite as heavy anymore.

He let out a slow breath, leaning closer. "I’m glad you’re here with me now. I’ve seen a lot, too, but not like you. It’s... comforting, y’know? Knowing I’m not the only one with a messed-up past."

You chuckled lightly, appreciating the way he could make even the darkest subjects feel lighter. "We’ve both got our scars, Logan."

He smirked at that, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Yeah, but I like yours better."

You rolled your eyes at his playful tone, but your heart warmed at the affection behind it. Despite all his rough edges, Logan had a way of making you feel seen, valued, even with all your history.

Logan shifted in his chair, his voice turning more serious again. "You think about the future much? Or does the past keep you too busy?"

You thought for a moment before answering. "I used to dwell on the past more, but lately… I’ve been thinking about the future. There’s still so much to see, so much to experience. And it’s easier to look ahead when you have someone to share it with."

Logan’s lips quirked into a soft smile, his thumb still tracing patterns on your hand. "Glad I could be that someone."

The fire crackled quietly between you, the warmth of it wrapping around the two of you as you sat in comfortable silence. Logan, despite his hardened exterior and often gruff demeanor, had a deep respect for you — for the life you had lived, and the strength it took to carry all those memories with you.

He broke the silence one last time, his voice quieter now, as if the weight of the question had only just dawned on him. "Do you ever regret it? Livin’ that long, seeing everything?"

You looked at him, his question hanging in the air for a moment. Then, with a soft smile, you shook your head. "Not anymore. Not since I met you."

Logan’s smile widened slightly, his eyes softening in a way they rarely did. He leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead, his rough hands cradling the sides of your face. "Good," he whispered. "’Cause I ain’t lettin’ you go."

And in that moment, as you leaned into his touch, the weight of centuries seemed a little lighter. The past would always be there, but with Logan by your side, the future seemed brighter than it had in a long time.

[maxphilippa]

Nickel and Balloon's arc and why you may be wrong about it, and why you are wrong about Suitcase and Nickel as well.

Nickel didn't trust Balloon because Balloon was a dick on s1 (something that the fandom forgets so fucking much), and of course he wouldn't trust Balloon being a part of the alliance either since Baseball (Nickel's best friend) and Suitcase (Nickel's ally/Baseball's closest friend) were part of it. "But Nickel didn't care about Suitcase-" he did, Adam himself did say he did care for her, but he strongly lacks emotional intelligence to truly get her. So of course, he didn't want to risk it, even if he does believe that Balloon wants to change, he doesn't want Suitcase to get involved with the guy.

Although Nickel doesn't want Balloon near and is an asshole towards the guy, I think that all of you kind of also forget that at one point on s2, Nickel did say that he thought that Balloon wanting to change was something good, but that he still didn't want to be associated with the guy. Which is, yes, shitty on his behalf, but it makes sense character wise. It's a case of "it's great that you want to be a better person, but i don't want to be near you even so", which is something most people felt at one point of their life.

Adding to this behaviour of his, again, it wasn't just because "Nickel is a dick without excuses", protecting his loved ones (his alliance) is. Kind of his whole thing. You know. He cares about them but sucks at showing it (this includes how he treated Baseball, looking at you all), he has the thought that if he's on control of a situation, no one will get hurt. He sucks at communication. Hell, it's even said on the series, he is afraid of change and also about accountability. ACCOUNTABILITY.

So yes, the way he treated Balloon isn't justified, even Nickel says it himself, but he has his reasons as to why he acted like that. But I think that you guys also need to remember some more important stuff as well. Nickel wasn't like this because he fully wanted to, but his behaviour towards Balloon was also constantly justified by Baseball.

And so here's the main question that troubles everybody so fucking much it's stupid.

"Why did Nickel change his mind on Balloon on s3 like that? It doesn't make sense"

Listen.

The reason as to why Nickel actually gave himself a chance to know Balloon properly is because of two very important factors. So I know that some of you might not be familiar with the official II comics, but the first reason is in one of the comics actually.

Especifically on the Letters Comic.

The plot of the comic is Balloon writing letters to those who he wronged/had a bad relationship with, and this includes pretty much all of the S1 cast (excluding the ones that are still on S2). And guess what, Nickel gets a letter as well.

There isn't a canon outcome as to what Nickel did with the letter. We don't know if he threw it away or took a look at it. But to me, I think that he did took a look at it. I will explain why later on in this post.

The second reason as to why Nickel's behaviour with Balloon changed on S3 was because, Baseball wasn't there to try to justify Nickel's hatred towards Balloon. In fact, what he got instead was Box, and we know that Box is like, Nickel's best friend on s3. What Box does is basically telling Nickel to get his shit together, stop holding onto stupid grudges and do it for the team.

And he does! And mind you, that was on the first episode of season 3! He decided to put away his petty feelings so the team could work, which pretty much already tells you that meanwhile early s3 Nickel has as much snark as S2 Nickel does, he actually recognizes when it's time to play on the game and when it's time to be petty. He's more of an nuisance towards Balloon on the first ep all things considered, but it seems that unlike S2, Balloon has grown a lot of confidence as well, and isn't sad at Nickel's comments, but rather calls him out on them. And even IF Nickel didn't exactly like to side with Balloon, as the eps went by, despite Box was the main reason as to why they were hanging out, Nickel was actually experiencing Balloon's change. He didn't want to be involved on s2 because BB told him that his distaste was justified (and that ended up messing everything for the Grand Alliance), but now he's "forced" to accept and know the guy because Box told him it was the best for the team. On early s3 they tease eachother, yes, but their relationship seems to be better than before.

As well, it wasn't out of nowhere either way, since Balloon does imply that both Nickel and him hanged around just to mess with Yinyang back at the Hotel.

That's my main reason as to why I think that Nickel DID read the letter in fact, but still had very complicated feelings towards Balloon, because in his mind, to him, Balloon was the reason as to why Suitcase, someone who Nickel really got attached to (even if you can't believe it), "betrayed" him. But we know that's not true. But at the end of the day they do end up hanging around well.

"But Max, why did they end up having a fall again? Aren't they supposed to be healthy?"

First of all there is a reason, second of all, oh my god conflict won't fucking kill you. You see. Nickel SUCKS at communication. He can't let out his feelings as much as he would like to do so, because he's scared of getting hurt and such. So yes, Nickel and Balloon were good friends there, but the down fall was necessary for them in order to ACTUALLY be a healthy friendship. The problem is that Nickel doesn't get that he fucked up a lot more than he thought and that he is the problem.

He still thinks that Suitcase left his side because of Balloon and of course that hurts- but he feels so bad about the way he treated Suitcase as well, even if he's not fully aware of why he feels like that. So that's why the conflict HAD to exist. You can't just expect them to be okay like nothing without talking about S2 properly, it doesn't work like that. Yes, they both care about eachother, but they STILL had to talk about it.

Now, on the yet, most controversial scene when it comes to Nickel's arc: Clover's therapy.

Some people say that Nickel didn't have to just be talked like that and that they expected more, but dare I say, that's exactly what he needed. To talk properly about his feelings. It's like you guys didn't catch up on that. Nickel's thing is being overprotective over those he loves, and seeing the things that might harm said loved ones or himself as threats that he needs to get rid off in order to be okay, and that he is afraid of change. Nickel knew he messed things up, but he still kept on thinking that Balloon was the one that made Suitcase betray him, when that's not really true.

He needed the talk to realize that it was truly his fault. Please take note at the way he looks to the side once he realizes it. It wasn't just a recent thought, it was always there, but he was scared of it coming true. Clover's talk made him open up properly about it and Clover also says it, "but don't you want to?" and then he says "mhm, maybe", but he really does want to, which is why he changes so much on Ep 16.

So before you say that Nickel didn't regret what he did and that he only did because of Clover: how can you be so wrong about something.

And, oh.

Oh, episode 16.

It treated them so well.

What Nickel says here is that he was scared of falling in Balloon's tricks, he was scared of being manipulated. Again. It wasn't out of nowhere. The way he treated Balloon WASN'T out of nowhere.

Is it justified? No. Does II or Nickel himself ever say that it is? No. The series as a whole is telling you that it was awful of him, characters do call out Nickel on his shit behaviour (even if you think they don't, they do, calling out isn't always strong words, sometimes calling out acts as feedback. as pointing things out. of course he also gets called out in the other way on the series, but PLEASE don't say that he didn't get called out because of his actions, he quite literally died because of them), Nickel HIMSELF recognizes that he was awful to Balloon and he is okay with the possibility of Balloon not wanting to forgive him either way.

But they ended up talking things out in the end. They ended up okay, because Balloon can genuinely see that Nickel wants to change. The walls he put are gone. He can see how genuine the guy wants to be.

"But Balloon shouldn't forgive Nickel, not after all the pain he caused to him"

Listen. Both of them commited mistakes. Balloon recognizes that he wasn't a good person back then and wanted to change things. Nickel finally got that and Nickel also showed Balloon that he does mean well. People that had complicated relationships CAN work things out, crazy I know, and I'm saying this as someone who had beef with their now best friend over similar stuff. We apologized and now we're close. It happens.

Balloon really cares about Nickel. And Nickel really cares about Balloon.

And Nickel is okay with Balloon winning because that's his friend now. Nickel changed for the good. And it makes sese character wise.

Nickel regrets what he did to Suitcase and Balloon as a whole. And Balloon and him are best friends now.

So, no, Balloon and Nickel aren't a toxic relationship, much less a problematic ship given all of the circumnstances, and saying that they are is missing on the whole arc they went through. They were complicated and they both had their reasons at the end of the day. No, Nickel wasn't purposefully an asshole to Suitcase, he was seeking to protect her, but ruined everything on the process. Yes, Baseball and Nickel needed to be separated in order to grow because they weren't healthy to eachother. Yes, the Nickel and Balloon arc had to go as long as it did in order for it to end properly, and it's not even done yet, Baseball and Suitcase are still waiting. Yes, Nickel meant good with the things he did. No, it doesn't justify any of the things he did. And, finally, the Grand Alliance arc is well executed, just because it's complicated it doesn't mean it's bad.

And those are statements that can coexist.

Thank you for reading. :]

[luvyblossom]

Love Me (not) - Part 5

Hello Lovelies!

Here is the long awaited part 5. I've been MIA but school has been crazy!

I had a bit of writer's block with this part and I feel like it's not the best but I hope you like it :/. Please send me some requests so that I can work on other stuff when I do get writer's block!

Hope y'all enjoy!!!!

Ps just comment on my series masterlist if you wanted to be added to the taglist

Genre: Friends to lovers, college au, jealousy, SMUT, some mutual pining, fighting/angst

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Hyunjin x y/n, Felix x y/n (AFAB)

Warnings: This work contains content that is 18+. Minors DNI. Perv Hyunjin, intercourse, oral, masturbation, somnophilia and mild noncon, dom and sub (reader), Very minor self-depreciation/ insecurities

Let me know if I missed anything

I love you.

The words echoed in your ears. Your eyes were still locked with Felix but you weren’t there, looking back at him, not really. Your heart was pounding, you had a fluttery feeling in your stomach. It wasn’t quite like butterflies but not exactly like anxiety either. Was this how it was supposed to feel?

Your focus was on the words alone, having never heard them said to you romantically before. You’d had heard tons of ‘love yous’ from family and friends, it seemed so easy to return the words then. But this, it felt different. You felt like you should be able to say the words back but they were heavy, laced with a much more complex connotation that weighed on your heart.

Unable to get the words out, you instead leaned into him and gave him a soft but deep kiss. Felix pulled away, chuckling as your lips chased his. “I think we need a shower baby.”

You calmed down once the warm water hit your skin, the heaviness of those words melting away as Felix lathered your body in shower gel. Every time he touched you he was so gentle. After getting both of you clean, he massaged soothing circles into your back. You leaned back against him, eyes feeling heavy as the lack of sleep from the previous night caught up to you.

“Tired?” He asked in his deep voice, breath brushing against your ear.

“Mhm,” you replied, “your hands feel nice.” Felix shut off the shower and wrapped you quickly in a fluffy towel before drying himself. He took your hand guiding you back to bed, holding the covers for you and climbing in after you were comfortable. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your back to his chest. You fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

————

You woke up to the sun shining between the blinds. You turned to find the bed empty next to you. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you debated leaving the warmth of the bed to look for Felix. Your phone rang before you could pull yourself out of bed.

“Good morning!” Hyunjin’s cheery voice said over the phone.

“You’ve been calling me more than my mom.”

“You didn’t reply to any of my texts!” Hyunjin complained.

“I was sleeping, I’m still kind of sleeping,” you replied, not ready to be cheerful.

“Are you free tonight?” Hyunjin asked, adding bitingly, “since I have to ask for you availability.”

“I don’t have anything particular planned. Why?” You chose to ignore his snide remark.

“Let’s do a movie night. I’ll cook”

“What’s-” you were cut off by a voice at the door.

“You’re up love?” Felix smiled at you, holding 2 mugs.

“Good morning!” You smiled at him as he walked over and handed you the coffee. Sitting down next to you quietly when he noticed you were on the phone.

“What are you dooooingggg,” Hyunjin was whining over the phone as your attention had been averted.

“Felix is here. Say hi to eachother!” You put the phone on speaker.

Felix reluctantly said a hello, getting an annoyed look on his face at the fact that Hyunjin was once again calling you. Hyunjin replied with a quiet hi back.

You put the phone to your ear, “okay don’t get so chatty you two,” you said sarcastically while eyeing Felix as well. “As I was asking before, what’s the special occasion?”

“Nothing. Does it have to be a special occasion for me to want to hang out with you?” He asked sounding irritated.

“No of course not,” you heard the edge in his voice, “I was just teasing. And you know if never turn down a meal from chef Hyunjin.”

“Are you home now?”

“No I’m at Felix’s. But I’ll be back in time for movie night.”

“Why are you there so early? Why were you sleeping?” The questions were pouring from Hyunjin’s mouth without much thought put into them.

“I stayed over silly. You know I never wake up early.”

The line was silent for a bit. You almost thought he had hung up, “Hyunjin? Are you there?”

“Yeah, I’ll be at your place at 4.”

“Byeeeee!” Hyunjin cut off the call before he returned your bye.

You put down the phone and turned to your boyfriend, “thank you,” you held up your mug.

Felix gave you a smile and brought you close to kiss your forehead. You leaned against his chest and he wrapped his arm around you. “Of course love.”

The nickname brought back the previous night. ‘Love’ was no longer a pet name, it was how he felt about you. That weird feeling returned as you tried to sip your coffee- you weren’t sure if it felt good or not.

“Do you have plans with Hyunjin?” Felix tried to sound nonchalant.

You were happy for the opportunity to get your mind off those words, “yeah we’re doing a movie night. It really has been a while, I guess I didn’t think about it.”

“He’s been calling so much, I feel like he’s here.” Felix said.

You laughed off his comment, not thinking it held any malice. “What do you think you’ll do tonight?”

“Well, since my girlfriend doesn’t have time for me tonight I guess I’ll have to come up with some plans,” Felix said, letting out a dramatic sigh. “I think I’ll hang out with some friends.” He laughed, answering the question. “Now, let’s have some breakfast.”

“Oh my god!! You have a cat?” You ran toward the orange cat lounging on the kitchen counter, gently petting its head to make sure it wasn’t spooked away. “WHAT IS THIS ANGELS NAME?”

“Soonie,” Minho said turning the corner into the kitchen. He was holding a smaller tabby cat and another orange cat followed at his feet and jumped up onto the counter as well. “This is Dori, she’s the baby.” He held up the tabby, then nodding towards the other orange cat, “that’s Doongie.” This was the most Minho had spoken to you since you’d met him. He gave you a smile as he watched you gush over the cats.

“Are they yours? I love them all!” You tried to slowly pick up Doongie, scared that he might run away. He let you pick him up and you hugged him close to you as the cat nuzzled your face.

“It’s breakfast time for them,” Minho said setting up their food bowls.

“It’s breakfast time for you too,” Felix said handing you a plate.

"A man after my heart," you commented as you took your food and sat down across the counter from him.

Felix leaned over the counter so that he was eye level with you, getting closer to you in the process. "You already have mine, Love. I don't mind working for yours," his said this so earnestly, a thousand emotions playing behind his eyes. He left you speechless but with that same bubbling feeling in your chest that you had experienced the night before.

“Ew,” Minho scoffed from the corner, “get a room.” He walked out leaving you both alone. Luckily his comment had lightened the atmosphere as both of you burst into laughter.

------

"What time will your movie night end?" Felix had his arms wrapped firmly around you as you both cuddled in the couch.

"It'll go late baby. Now let go, I'm already late!" You had been wrestling with Felix for a good 10 minutes trying to get up so you could head out.

Felix nuzzled into your neck placing soft kisses along your skin. "I don't want you to go love," his deep voice sent shivers through you. He was definitely making it hard for you to go.

"Baby, I promise I'll see you tomorrow." You giggled as his soft kisses tickled your neck.

"Promise to miss me?"

“Of course, I’ll miss you soooooooo much,” you spread your arms wide, showing him just how much you’d miss him before wrapping them around him and returning his kisses.

“Fine, if you must go,” Felix finally released his hold on you and you got up, gathering your things and heading towards the door.

Felix followed you, grabbing his keys until you stopped him.

"It's so nice outside, I think I'll walk," you admired the sun pouring in through his windows.

Felix slipped on his shoes, taking your hand despite your refusals. "I want to spend as much time with you as I can." His words painted a blush across your cheeks. You weren't sure if you would ever get used to his sweet words, they always made you shy and giggly.

You both walked hand in hand enjoying the pleasant weather. You tensed when your building came into view, hoping Felix would leave you at the entrance. Instead he lead you to the elevator. Hyunjin would probably already be there and boy's meetings so far had not been friendly.

You turned to Felix when you reached the door, "bye baby," you leaned in to peck his lips. He didn't leave. You opened the door and Felix followed you in.

"You're finally here!" Hyunjin shouted as he rounded the corner. You burst out laughing when you saw him. He stood in your small pink apron, sleeves rolled up, hair messily pulled back with something staining his tshirt. The same thing, maybe some sort of sauce was also smeared on the side of his face.

"How did you get so messy?" you asked between giggles. You walked up to him, swiping some of the food off his face and putting the finger in your mouth. Hyunjin was left speechless after your actions, locking eyes with yours as you brought your finger between your lips and sucked. The thoughts that ran through his mind made his mouth feel dry as he watched you suck on your finger.

"It tastes good!" you grinned at him, turning and going back to the door where Felix stood. It took Hyunjin a second to register that your 'boyfriend' was there. They locked gazes, hostility brewing between the both of them.

You walked up to Felix, giving him a kiss on the cheek you said, “thanks for dropping me off. I’ll call you later.”

You were suddenly swept up into a deep kiss with Felix. His hand wrapped behind your neck, pulling you closer. You let out an embarrassing whimper as you felt him harden against your stomach. Much too soon Felix pulled away. Giving you a small smirk and saying, "Goodbye Love," before swiftly going out the door. You stood there stunned and horny.

“Ewwww” Hyunjin snapped you from your daze. “Please don’t make me have to witness that again.”

You rolled your eyes, "go clean yourself up."

"I thought you were already doing that for me," Hyunjin grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

You felt your cheeks turning a deep shade of scarlet. Not knowing what to say you rushed past him to assess the state of your kitchen. As aspected, Hyunjin had been cooking up a storm and the kitchen looked like it.

"How can I clean you up when I have to deal with the mess you left?" You quipped back. In the past you would have been too flustered to be able to reply to Hyunjin's comment but recently you had been able to work past your shyness. Perhaps this is what a friendship was supposed to be, not all the rush of feelings you used to feel before. Those feelings were confusing, sending butterflies throughout your body anytime he would move close. Those feelings stung, pushing daggers through you whenever he had a new girl on his arm. Those feelings had stopped... definitely.

Hyunjin skipped in as you started on the dishes. "I promise dinner is good enough to justify this mess. But let's eat now!!"

"Hyunjin I just want to finish and be done with it," You replied.

A moment of silence -

You jumped.

Hyunjin spoke softly from behind you, "Dinner will get cold and I don't want to leave you with work. I'll clean up later but now I just want to spend time with you."

You felt a shiver run through you as his breath tickled your ear.

You felt warmth spread over you as his hand wrapped around your waist and gently pulled you away from the sink and into him.

You felt the hardness of his chest against your back as you saw his hand reach out and turn off the tap.

You felt your thumping heart as his hand left your waist and his arms engulfed you completely. He dried your hands with a kitchen towel.

You felt cold as he pulled away from behind you.

"Come on, I already set plates for us!"

You felt yourself begin to breathe again as you followed his figure into your living room.

He had decorated your coffee table with pretty purple candles, filling the room with the scent of lilac. Cushions and blankets were set up on the floor in front of the couch and 2 plates next to a dish full of your favourite mac and cheese were waiting for you. A vase of pink roses rested in the centre of the table.

Hyunjin sat down, settling into the cushions and patting the spot next to him gesturing for you to join him. You sat stiffly next to him, trying to take in your surroundings.

You looked at Hyunjin. The room was dimly lit by a lamp in the side of the room and the soft glow of the candles. He was busy plating the mac and cheese for the both of you. His hair fell forward, covering part of his pretty face but you resisted the urge to reach out and fix it.

He met your eyes and smiled, pulling a smile from you as well. The soft light in the room highlighted the shadows of his face making his smile all the more striking.

"What is it?" Hyunjin's voice pierced through your haze of feelings.

"I-," you paused to breath, remembering that it was something you needed to do. "I'm just surprised," You looked away.

Hyunjin's fingers grazed your chin, turning you to face him once again. "If you look at me like that I'm gonna make sure to surprise you more often."

His words hung in the air. He let go of your chin, both of you looking at your plates, hiding blushes from one another. You distracted yourself from the fluttering in your stomach by turning on the TV and flipping through shows to watch. Arguments over how you could not possibly watch the princess diaries again quickly filled the air that had hung between you both.

Dinner finished and now settled cuddled against Hyunjin your mind drifted to the words Felix had said to you the night before. It must have been a in the rush of the moment because it was too soon. And you didn't know what the feeling in the pit of your stomach was that bubbled uncomfortably everytime you thought of those three words. Was it nerves?

"What ya thinking about?" Hyunjin pulled you from your thoughts.

"It's nothing," you didn't need get Hyunjin grumpy over your boyfriend once again.

"Now my bestfriend won't even share stuff with me anymore. Have I really been replaced so quickly," Hyunjin dramatically sighed, draping himself over you while pouting.

"Ahhh you're too heavy." You attempted to push him off with no success, instead Hyunjin wrapped his arms around you making sure you couldn't move away from him.

He locked eyes with you now, "Seriously y/n. What is it? You've been way too quiet and I'm missing getting tired of you talking during movies."

You broke eye contact quickly, taking a deep breath, "Felix just said something to me and it's just been on my mind."

Hyunjin scowled, "what did he say?"

You hesitated once again, causing Hyunjin to force your face towards him, "Y/n, what did he say?" He said it more sternly this time, anger building behind his chocolate eyes getting ready for a fight if that guy had said anything to hurt you.

"He told me he loves me."

Hyunjin dropped his hand from your face, staring at you open mouthed in shock. A million emotions ran through him, above all was anger. He stared. Opened his mouth as if to say something and then closed it again. His brows furrowed and you sat in silence, waiting for him to react.

Finally Hyunjin asked, "did you say it back?" Hyunjins heart was pounding, blocking out all sound to the point that he had to try to read your lips to hear your answer.

"No."

Hyunjin let the breath he had been holding out. His heart calmed down and he felt almost at ease once again. You hadn't said it back. You didn't love him. And that was good.

"But you're still with him?" Hyunjin asked this time, trying to understand why you were sticking around with this guy. A guy who loved you, who you didn't love back. For some reason that brought him so much joy.

"Yes I'm still with him!" You looked at Hyunjin incredulously.

"But you don't love him."

"I didn't say that!"

Once again his pulse picked up. "You do love him?"

"I don't know!" You practically shouted, burying your face in your hands, overwhelmed with feelings you couldn't identify. You began to sob, feeling far too overwhelmed to do anything else.

You felt Hyunjin's hands wrap around yours and bring them away from your face. He leaned down so he could looked at your tear stricken face and gently wipe away the tears that were falling. He pulled you into his chest, letting you take your time to gather your thoughts and stop your sobs. No matter how much he pushed you, he always knew what you needed at the end of the day. There would be no more questions from him unless you were ready to share.

You pulled away from him, "I didn't say I love you back but I still like him and I'm not sure how I feel and I think it's so soon. Honestly he probably just said it in the heat of the moment so I'm just overthinking it but I don't know. Should I have said it back? I don't know."

Hyunjin didn't want to think too hard about whatever moment you had shared with Felix. And he didn't want you to want to tell Felix that you loved him. But he was a sucker for your tears and they had wiped away his anger. "It's okay." He soothed, "you don't have to say anything if you're not ready. And did he pressure you?"

"No he didn't even mention it. I should have just said it back."

"Do you love him?" Hyunjin could feel himself shake as he asked the question.

"Ugh," you buried yourself into Hyunjin this time, his arms happily wrapping around you, "I don't know. When he said it I just kind of didn't know what to feel and then since I've just got this weird feeling."

Hyunjin just held you tight, not knowing what to say. All those feelings you described were rushing through him. He felt sick as he heard you ponder whether you were in love with your boyfriend or not. He just wanted to hear a solid no from you. Any other guy would be fine, well not any other guy. A guy who was deserving of your time and he was convinced that Felix was definitely not that.

Hyunjin knew it was best to probably say nothing but the devil on his shoulder won, " You don't need to worry. You're right he said it really early. "

You looked up at him, ready to listen , so Hyunjin continued, "Are you sure about him Y/n. He does have a reputation and maybe he just said it cause he wants to sleep with you."

You let out a chuckle, "I love that you worry about me Hyunnie. But I don't think he said it because of that."

" No you don't know what guys are like!" He persisted.

"What I'm saying is that it was kind of past the point for that to be his reasoning," you giggled as you saw the wheels turn in Hyunjin's head. He turned as red as a tomato. Give it up to Hyunjin to be a playboy and still get embarrassed talking about sex.

Hyunjin was red, but not out of embarrassment. You fucked him? He wanted to ask more, but he also didn't want to know. What. The. Fuck. Hyunjin was steaming. That man was not good enough to be around you, let alone put his hands over you. Hyunjin retreated into himself as these thoughts bounced around his head.

That night Hyunjin slept turned away from you. Except he didn't sleep. He was so preoccupied with your words and the idea of Felix touching you. It made him angry, and sad, and honestly you weren't supposed to be letting men touch you like that. Hyunjin grumbled to himself, tossing and turning and wanting to cuddle up to you. But he kept his distance now because being close to you just made him think of someone else being that near you, and that made him sick to the core.

Hyunjin did eventually fall asleep, and he awoke to find the bed empty next to him. He got out of bed, still half asleep, rubbing his eyes as he whined out your name. He regretted not holding you last night and he was ready to take a nap on you.

As he enters the brightly lit living room all he hears is a deep voice growl out, "Seriously?"

Next thing he knows, Felix is standing in front of him and then pain shoots up his right jaw.

________

This is an original work. I do not permit the republishing of this work in any form including translations.

© LuvyBlossom

Taglist: @mimihwang248 @meeeds @lixiespick @fangirlnation @chartrucewhore @karmakalesposts @stayatinykatsy

[impactrueno]

(Nothing to do with all that war stuff) Just felt like sharing with you some thoughts I recently had (like 5 minutes ago maybe) .

I feel like in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice there have been many twists that change many points from the first one. Sure many of them were made because "times changes and this won't be seen as funny anymore" but also I feel they gave BJ a more of a sentimental thing and it kinda reminds me of Corpse Bride since now he has a fixation with marriage.

Now we know that he was deep in love with his first wife and was happy with the idea of being married. Then his wife killed him and he died with a fresh broken illusion.

That makes me think that differently from the first one, he actually wants to marry Lydia for other reasons than only the "becoming alive" thing. I mean why would he put so much effort in the Mcarthur Park number instead of just getting married as fast as possible like in the first one. Also he's been dead for 600 hundred years, why would he be so obsessed over Lydia if she herself wasn't that important, I don't think he likes her because she denied him since basically no one really likes him. He could have tried marrying another living person who could see ghosts but in 30 years he didn't even try.

Also in both Corpse Bride and Beetlejuice Beetlejuice the dead one's murderer makes an appearance at the wedding and they have a final confrontation like a "liberation" thing.

I don't know... since Tim Burton tends to repeat patrons along his movies it doesn't really seems that crazy to me. What do you think?

Sorry for making it so long, hope you're doing fine

i think this makes a lot of sense actually! i mentioned something similar the other day on twitter, about the marriage thing specifically. this fixation he has on marriage has to have something to do with being murdered by his bride on their wedding night. delores might have been a bit lacking as a character but i think she added a completely new perspective to beetlejuice's character that we didn't see before, so she was more of a plot device character than anything else. that's okay (but tragic because she serves cunt like hell, would've loved to see more of her)

but yeah the sequel has been changing my perspective on the characters and their dynamic a lot as i process the whole thing. i still think it was a bit lacking in telling us why we should care about the idea of them being together if that's the road they're going down, but maybe that was purposely kept vague so people could think whatever they want and debate about it. yes, the cast wants them to be together but that doesn't necessarily mean they will actually do it, yknow? i personally have a hard time seeing it work out when seeing the big picture (meaning including the events of the first movie in the narrative) because if they do end up together, that would mean having beetlejuice "win" and that feels. off. feels wrong. to me personally. there's probably ways to make it work and not have it feel like he "won" though, i can kinda think of something that might work but i haven't actually thought that hard about it yet. interesting to ponder though. hmm

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[shadow-pixelle]

The snippet continues...

Part one is here, and part two is here.

I've actually had this bit done for a while now, and I've got another couple of scenes ready to go. Plus I've started figuring out how we got here and some of the other worldbuilding stuff, too.

Might need to actually give this AU a name sometime soon.

Until then, though, enjoy the next chunk of things!

--

Danny felt a little bad for how quickly he relaxed once Hood was out of sight. It wasn’t like it was the guy’s fault that his core was fucked up.

But still, the pressure of not giving in to all his instincts calling for him to take the kid and run had been… difficult. Especially considering the atmosphere of the room.

He hadn’t been wrong earlier that kidnapping was a bad idea, right now.

Sam and Tucker both relaxed as well, which made Danny feel a little better about his reaction, and took their hands from where they were grabbing him. It wouldn’t have helped if he’d decided to say fuck it and lunge, but the pressure of them holding onto him had helped him remember not to phase into intangibility and portal out.

The tension wasn’t much better, though.

Nightwing was frozen, reaching out towards where Hood had ran like he could somehow grab the guy’s shoulder and stop him from bolting. The others in the room- Red Robin, Robin, Batman- were just as still; the two Robins staring at Danny, Batman staring at nothing.

Batman.

There was a twinge in the air, in their bonds, from Sam. She wanted to strangle him, and honestly, Danny wasn’t too inclined to stop her right now. That was probably the Protection spirit talking, really, rather than any sort of logic, but hey, sue him. He was a halfa and his Obsession was just as there as any other ghost. That meant keeping people safe.

And that was before he got into any of the Ghost King shit.

He felt Tucker reach around Danny’s back and grasp Sam’s elbow, apparently sensing both her wish for murder and Danny’s general lack of care.

“I think we should go.” Tucker said, quickly but quietly, in Danny’s ear. He huffed a little, but nodded, transforming back into his ghost form with a flicker. It would be a good idea to let everyone cool down after that, plus it would get Sam away from her current plant food target.

The shift seemed to snap the Bats out of it, at least a little. Nightwing snapped over to look at them, and Red Robin made a small sound. “Go?”

“And let you… process.” Danny said, wrapping his tail around Sam’s waist. She huffed, a sharp and violent sound, but finally relaxed entirely into him rather than preparing to snap, which was good. “I understand that there was a lot of information there, that you likely want time to think through.”

Tucker leaned a little forward again, a small nudge, and Danny nodded, knowing what he wanted. It was easier to focus on their Grief bonds now, with Hood’s core not in the room and making it hard to think beyond instincts if they weren’t talking.

“We’ll make contact with you again in a few days, or you can contact us.” He added. It wouldn’t be hard, Tucker had been working on figuring out some kind of link to them since they arrived here, and being in their home base would’ve helped. “But for now I think it would be best if we left.”

“But-” Nightwing glanced in the direction Hood had ran again, then back to them. Sam softened, a little, at the display of care, the air crackling with it.

“We’ll keep an eye out for him, and discuss the situation with our people.” She told him. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a way to help.”

“Thank you.” Nightwing said, voice cracking. Danny waited a moment, to see if any of them had anything else to say, then cloaked both his Griefmates in invisibility and intangibility in the same moment, moving to grab a more firm hold of Tucker and tightening his tail around Sam.

The Batman still wasn’t saying anything, wasn’t even moving, and Danny would’ve been more concerned if he’d had the room, but-

It had been a lot, and he was tired. More tired than he expected, just holding back the need to run away with Hood bundled between them.

And he still needed to call the Council, too, which was always going to be a nightmare.

A portal would have been too obvious, so Danny just flew straight up instead, pulling both his partners with him, and passed into the rock. From below them, there was a faint echo of something being thrown, and Nightwing’s voice shouting, “What the hell, B-?!” Danny winced a little and flew faster, all three of them keeping silent until they were well in the air- above the massive mansion above the Bat’s base, which was a wild thing even when they were used to the Mansons- and starting back towards the lights of the city.

“I’ll go and look for him.” Sam said, after a few minutes of flying. “I don’t- it’ll be hard, but I’ll be able to handle it.”

Danny would be the best to find Hood, with his ghost sense and the few powers the Crown granted him sometimes, but he was also the worst, because of his status as a halfa and Protection spirit. Tucker could probably do it just as well as Sam could, but his talents meant bunkering down with their computer setup and searching that way would be better than him looking in person.

So Danny just nodded. “Alright. Let’s go back to the apartment, first, and we’ll get one of the whistles out for you. I need to go to the Realms, so I won’t be able to make portals for you, but you can call Cujo to do it instead.”

“You think he’ll want to come to the Realms?”

Danny shrugged, a little. “Maybe. I think… he’s scared, probably. And I don’t think this place is safe for him.”

“The city or the dimension?”

“Not sure, yet. We’ll have to look into it more. But I don’t think it matters, whether it’s the city or the dimension. I don’t think this place is safe for him, and I think he might be scared. Admittedly he might be scared of us, which is bad, but I’m hoping he’ll let us try to help even if he is scared of us.”

“I’ll try to answer his questions, if he’s got any.” Sam frowned audibly, and both Danny and Tucker chuckled. They knew full well how difficult it was for Sam to tolerate people for any length of time, and explaining things was a nightmare for her if people didn’t listen, so hopefully Hood wouldn’t end up on the wrong end of her patience at all.

“Drop me off at the apartment too.” Tucker put in. “I’ll man the computers and see if I can find Hood anywhere on the cameras in the city.”

“Thanks, Tuck.” She smiled up at him. “I think I can guess where he went? But having some kind of eyes in the sky would be good.”

“You do?” Danny asked, looking down so he could raise an eyebrow at her. “How?”

“You know we thought there was a Haunt here?”

“Yeah, that Park Row place.” Danny nodded slowly, then paused. “Oh. You think that’s it?”

“I mean, it’d make sense, right? A ghost’s haunt always feels a little bit like them, and with Hood’s core as torn up as it is…”

Tucker nodded against Danny’s chest, humming. “Yeah, that would make sense. I didn’t think of that.”

“That’s what we’re for.”

“Ok, so Tucker back to the apartment, Sam to grab a whistle for Cujo and then out the door, and I’m off to the Realms.” Danny sighed a little. “Great. You guys get all the fun jobs. I get to enjoy fighting with the Council for like a week trying to make sure they don’t declare war or something while we’re still investigating. That’ll be just our luck.”

“Eh, I’m sure you can do it. They like you, after all.”

Danny just sighed again.

The rest of the trip back into the city and towards the apartment they’d rented wasn’t long or difficult, especially not when flying, and Danny easily phased through the window into the building proper. The second he let go of his Griefmates, they were off; Tucker went straight for the pile of tablets and PDAs and laptops that he’d built up, starting them up all at once with a push of power, while Sam went for the bedroom and their lockbox full of ghost stuff, coming back with a silver whistle that she tucked down the front of her dress so only the chain was showing.

“Want a lift?” He asked, and Sam laughed.

“No, I’ll be fine. Get moving, your Highness, you’ve got places to be.”

“Fiiiiiine.” Danny sighed again, flopping backwards dramatically just to see them laugh, and opened a portal to his Lair.

The feeling of being at home again settled over him like a weight, and he took a moment to shake himself out and settle into the feeling before starting to move.

Luckily, there were protocols and stuff for this kind of thing. And even more fortunately, Fright Knight was nearby and not roaming like he could have been. Danny barely got the doors open from his portal room into the main Lair before the Knight was there, hovering not far into the hall.

“Fright Knight.” Danny inclined his head, pulling at his core. The Ring and Crown formed with only a small amount of fuss- his living half causing them to complain, he knew- though he didn’t bother with any of the rest of the regalia he’d created in the past for situations like this. As strange as it sounded, this felt like something he had to approach more as Phantom, the Protection spirit and halfa, rather than the Ghost King, even though he knew he needed the Crown and Ring with him.

Instincts like that were strange, sometimes.

“Prince Phantom.” The Autumn spirit replied, saluting him. “Is something amiss?”

“We need to call the Council together, Fright.” He said, a small sigh. Him calling the Crown and Ring would have already started that process, with some of them, but not everyone was going to be in a position to notice that stuff, so it was better to tell Fright Knight so he could help get things going. “We’ve got a really bad situation in that world, and it’s going to need a lot of work.”

“How so, my Prince?” Fright Knight asked, even as his core flickered to call the various underghosts of the Lair to attention.

“The sort of thing where we might be declaring outright war on some people.” Danny told him, and watched the Fright Knight freeze.

“I see.”

[anonymooose]

==== Spoilers for Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi! ====

Ok, so, I randomly saw a post by @corvidonia about Falin!Hypnos.

So, I thought to myself, y'know I just started watching too and this seems like a fun mini-project so I started it. Then I subsequently got way too into it and accidently made a whole rendered scene and au concept... welp! It's here now!

For this little crossover Au whatever you wanna call it I did this main drawing but also came up with a bit of background stuff.

In this Meg would be a tall-man paladin in a sort of Chilchuck situation where she's mostly here because it's her job (and bonus, Dusa's here) and she'd be a paladin. Paladin might be an odd choice (?) but I felt it made sense due to her dedication and none of the other martial classes really stuck out to me like paladin.

Zagreus would be the party's Laios of sorts and a fighter tall-man, I imagine that the reason why they went through all the trouble for Hypnos is 50% Zagreus being friends with him and 49% Than not wanting his brother dead and 1% pity. I don't know if there would still be the culinary focus in this Au, probably not, so maybe instead it'd be more about just general monster knowledge. Like Zag and the gang filling out the codex?

Dusa would be a Half-foot, probably the farthest from their Dungeon Meshi inspo character, Senshi, only really sharing the fact that they came into the party late. I imagine that she's kind of in an "I'm the only monster around that has any sentience or emotion??" type situation though I don't really have a worked out reason why. She's also friends with Meg prior to joining and comes because of her.

I translated Thanatos and Hypnos' godhood into having a particular magical ability as elves, so they're elf twins. Than being a sorcerer rouge mostly for the vibes but also because sorcerer powers are innate to their being. Instead of a wand/staff I think he'd just use his scythe as a casting focus. I figure he'd be sort of like a mix of Chilchuck and Marcille, not bound to the party by a job but still kind of obligated to help Hypnos since they're family and all. I don't think he'd be thrilled about having to risk his life to save Hypnos from another screw up though, but he would and I do think he'd be relieved to have him back after the ordeal. (does Falin ever actually 100% come back? I've only watched the anime so idk actually, I like to think Hypnos would here though because I like my happy endings)

Hypnos is obviously the sort of Falin stand-in, but in a very different way I think. I do think he'd be a sort of magic prodigy like Falin but in more of an intuitive way compared to Than/Marcille's book smarts. I definitely think that the connection to the strange would remain but instead of ghosts it'd be personified dreams in the form of something like the Oneiroi. In this Au the starting incident with the monster would be the same but it'd probably be some sort of big bird/sheep to explain the bird/sheep design I went with for the Chimera design and it'd be Than in place of Laios. I also think that he'd be a cleric type situation like Falin sort of is, I like to think he'd excel at healing magic. I do kind of like the idea of Hypnos not being really encouraged to partake in adventuring due to his lack of physical ability but he'd go against that to spend time with Than and try to look out for him. As for Chimeros (As I've been calling it) I think it'd be accompanied by fog from Lethe rather than the harpies in the original and it'd have a similarly blank personality like Faligon (which'd be especially off-putting from him). Added angst potential, I figure his powerset would be very different from Faligon's and revolve around putting everyone to sleep (go figure) and memory erasure, so maybe the main party wouldn't even remember their first encounter with them?

I do actually have ideas for the remaining party, I'll keep it to one bullet though. I think Achille's would be a paladin/fighter or something like that and would be similar to Namari as a weapons expert, probably leaving for a different reason though maybe to join Pat's party? I don't have a particular idea for Shuro's stand-in, maybe switch the Shuro Falin romance thing to Charon Hypnos brotherhood thing and it could work? Idk though.

I did also make a full design for Hypnos as an elf/not Chimeros and here that is. The staff is inspired by actual myth where Hypnos sometimes has a wand dipped in Lethe to induce sleep.

Ramble over!! Congrats if you were able to push through my incessant yapping to actually get here. First Tumblr post btw, who would've thunk it'd be for this. If anyone is interested in using these designs or ideas for art/writing feel free, I'm probably not going to do anything else with this idea but if you want to I'd be very interested in seeing/hearing it! Also, really sorry if this isn't properly spoilered?? I'm not exactly sure what the proper spoiler etiquette is so I tried.

[the-marron]

All-Forgotten Fics of Yours Truly

You know who constantly forgets to post stuff on Tumblr? Me.

And so now when I tried to find a link to one of my fics I couldn't because it's physically not there 🙃 I am a pro at social media. So now I decided to do a round up of all the Guardian stuff I haven't posted before, just for archival purposes 😅

Guardian

1. To wild uncharted waters

Summary:

Tonight, Shen Wei is abandoning all of Aoguang’s laws and heading towards the shore, for the second time in his entire life. All for Kunlun.

Also known as mermaid!au, written for @birdbird-blog ❤

2. What happens to the heart

Summary:

“I bring an offering,” he starts, feeling the oddness of the words on his tongue. This is not an offering, not exactly. It’s not incense and gold worthy of a god, it’s not a string of worshipful words either, and yet with who they are, The Ghost King has no other word for it.

There is nothing else a ghost can offer to a god.

Novel-verse, an attempt at happy moment between Kunlun and Shen Wei

3. Spellbound

Summary:

Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei Vs Ancient Couples Counseling

Also known as duck!SW fic

4. The Way of the Househusband

Summary:

Zhao Yunlan vs household chores feat Shen Wei's existential crisis

Technically this one appeared on my self-rec post at some point and it was added to the art that inspired it but I technically didn't publish it here myself, so here it is. Domesticity, dear people, what else can I say.

5. hold every memory as you go

Summary:

Wang Zheng was her first girl friend. It sounds sad when she thinks about it, that the first woman she felt true connection with was a dead girl found by her boss and Da Qing in the woods, but that's still a fact. She didn't have true friends before, not like that.

Also known as: not a fix it people, just Zhu Hong post-canon, thinking about everything she's lost and learning to move on with hope

6. I've got a dream

Summary:

“I swear, if it turns out you have no idea where we are going, I will murder you and leave your body for the crows to find,” Chu Shuzhi said conversationally, stomping through the mud with the air of a man condemned to an unjust punishment. The object of his anger, Zhao Yunlan the Adventurer, just shrugged without turning back. Chu Nianzhi was certain that he had heard worse threats in his life, he used to work at the court after all. Though, in what capacity, Zhao Yunlan had never disclosed – ever since Nianzhi and Shuzhi met him at the inn, winning a strange map from a crowd of very suspicious looking men, all that they managed to get out of him was that he was on an adventure.

Written for an event, it has Chu brothers having The Time of Their Lives (Not) thanks to Zhao Yunlan who Apparently Has A Wife

7. Wish You Were Here

Summary:

Instead of falling asleep, Shen Wei gets to experience the millennia of longing, year after a lonely year.

Written for a friend, featuring, well, lots of loneliness

And I think that's all from Guardian? The rest was here because of the Guardian Bingo, I am pretty sure

And now, as my treat from me to me, the forgotten Luolins:

Luolin [WEILAN DERIVATIVES]

1. Unscathed [WIP]

Summary:

“Well, hello,” the man said, his lips tugging up in a smile. Not prepared for that, all Lin Nansheng could do in reply was to cough shallowly, the exertion of the chase getting to him. “You can let go, comrade, I won’t run.” Despite the lightness in his words, the voice was hushed, as if trying not to attract more attention. And yet, Lin Nansheng found himself letting go. The stranger used his free hand to support the bundle pressed against his chest.

---

A bitter and disillusioned Lin Nansheng gets pulled into much more excitement than he bargained for.

Post-canon longfic that I am still trying to write despite the lack of time. Totally not known as Godzilla AU, not at all good sir.

2. A Practical Arrangement

Summary:

It was a pure accident that Luo Fei and Lan Xinjie knew each other, and that the lady came to Cen Zimo with questions about a possible accommodation for her friend was a sign from the heavens. Luo Fei wasn’t convinced of course, but the argument of 'practical arrangement' swayed him in the end.

Technically it's not Luolin for it features an outsider POV of another deriv that has romantic plans re: LF, but let's be real here, I wouldn't break up Luolin for anyone so it's Luolin through and through. Sorry, Cen Zimo. (I am not)

3. we devour, like a falcon in the dive

Summary:

A quiet moment of trust that morphs into something much more.

Based on art, first attempt to give these two an actual happy ending and not an ambigious one

4. only a touch of dust remains

Summary:

He knows what he will find when he opens the door. He's known for a while, he's been preparing for it but still, the moment his hand touches the handle, he hesitates. He never hesitates, there is no reason for him to do so – there is nothing that can surprise him.

Angst. Outsider's POV. Did I mention angst?

5. All in the Scheme of Things

Summary:

And then Wu-laoshi brought in Luo Fei – a tall, handsome man in a well-tailored suit whose words were outpaced only by his thoughts. It was with relief that Lin Nansheng realized that they didn’t manage to discuss anything and would have to meet again – he had a good excuse to see Luo Fei again.

Modern Teacher!au, a prequel to one of my fics from Weilan Derivs week 2022.

6. Unmoored Academicals [CROSSOVER]

Summary:

A foreboding sense of familiarity washed over Zhao Yunlan. His mind had one, final thought of’ not again’, before the vortex of time opened for good and swallowed everything around him. -- The 'DCU moonlights as Shanghai University' crack that wouldn't leave my brain, with a dash of academia humour

Yeah, I wrote it mostly for crack reasons, but also to appreciate that while there are some similarities between them, SW and LNS are very different, as are LF and ZYL - it is a bit of a love letter to BY and Z1L's acting abilities, dressed up as a crack about a university jumping dimensions, just like Pratchett would have wanted

7. The man you seek is long gone

Summary:

After returning from Hong Kong, Lin Nansheng tries to find out what happened to Luo Fei. -- Mostly canon compliant with some fix-ity changes added

Presumed dead fic, because everyone needs one 🤗

8. It's falsehood's flame, it's a crying shame

Summary:

There is a man at the door, dressed in a rather expensive-looking suit, looking around with a faint air of distaste. He has a cane in his hand and a certain confidence around him – Lin Nansheng notices all of that, but it is dulled by the realization that the man is really handsome. * In an alternate universe, Chen Moqun becomes a crime boss instead of the Station Chief. Lin Nansheng follows him either way, until he encounters an unexpected complication in the form of Luo Fei.

Not-really (and yet) mafia!au which is also my first Luolin ever, written for @babischlong-six 😌❤

and now I am off to live that cryptid life because there are still at least a dozen weilan derivs fics that I haven't posted here either but I don't have the energy to do it today. Better to do something than nothing and all that ~

[blakefate1356]

Hime Azami

okay as promised we're back at it with the mew mew power..... sort of XD here's Hime Azami Hime technically isnt a mew mew... but hime was the original mew mew all at the same time. basically hime was originally the main character and the manga was actually meant to be more adult and less cat girl magic. then it became a bit softer more magical girl and then ichigo was added and then 4 other girls and then eventually i guess hime was scrapped and instead emerged mew mew power. interestingly enough a lot of Hime's design is alike or the same as ichigo's which i find really nice... like hime got to live on in another way even if here story never really came out into the world. there's actually also a small section dedicated to hime in the manga's with a snippit of what her story was gonna be and then in another book a small piece about how she came to be along side a picture of a certain mystery mouse girl who as far as i know was never named. anyway thanks for checking in today. the post was a little later than intended as i decided to take a break at one point and went for a walk with my dog. then i came back and decided to play ball with her for a bit and actually ended up throwing her ball on the roof XD (it's happened before ^^') well anyway i was meant to clean up the drains some weeks ago but never got around to it and figured since i had to get on the roof for the doggo toys anyway i may as well and so i did. after that we ended up sweeping the outdoor staircase (cleaning off the muck from the drains) and i thought i still had plenty time when i was finally back at my desk but then i was done with the flat colours and the time was nearing in on post time ^^' i debated posting it with just the flats but was like "no i wanna finish it" so i took some extra time to finish it. i played around with it a little trying something out with the shading. on the original 6 i was following this rule of colouring and shading them the way the manga/anime did and while it was fun i felt like it lacked some depth which was fine for the anime but needs more for these sort of uhhh stand alone things? idk anyway i felt that it wasnt enough so i tried some stuff out with theshading and i think it worked out really nicely. thanks to those of you who read through my little ramblings here XD sorry about the late post happy timezones people Commissions are Open links https://www.deviantart.com/blakefate https://www.tumblr.com/blakefate1356 https://www.patreon.com/BlakeFate https://ko-fi.com/steph90314 https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/31935735

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[icarusallusion]

On the kick of relationships I feel were a bit wasted on lack of expansion and fandom media literacy.

Volgin and Ocelot. While they definitely do not stem from the same problems as Kazuhira and Quiet like I talked about in my other post, I still feel they aren't explained enough, hours of exposition but nothing quite explains why they are the way they are. Part of that leads to their allure as characters, the years of character building we don't hear or see, but their subtle relationship really falls flat on a lot of gamers I've found.

Into them themselves before I get into all the meta stuff.

Volgin doesn't waste time torturing and shocking people who minorly inconvenience him. He kills Granin pretty much just for fun, shocks and sexually tortures EVA, tortures his own men from the simplest lack of respect, and nukes a facility which kills multiple of his countrymen. All of these disturb Ocelot, but he never says much about it until it comes at the pain of Russia itself. (i.e killing Granin who benefits them and Russia in turn, not truly caring about torture when he learns its for a spy, feeling bad ahout killing Russian men even those who go agaisnt the GRU, and the nukes destroying Russian soil and countrymen)

However any time Ocelot calls Volgin out on his sadistic and cruel behaviors, Volgin never says anything truly negative back to Ocelot. For a man who does awful things to everyone else the way he hesitates to hurt Ocelot whether through physical or verbal means was always interesting to me.

Especially this interaction after Granin is killed by Volgin.

Volgin speaks down on Ocelot, however this isn't done in an insulting way, it's simply the truth in Volgin's eyes. Volgin raised Ocelot since he was 16, Ocelot is still decades younger than him, and is still ranks below.

To Volgin, Ocelot needs to be weeded out himself, of the care he deeply holds for Russia. Volgin undermines Ocelot and how he feels towards the war and cruelty surrounding it, that his feelings have no place within the war and that they're a threat to their organization. While on the surface it refers to how Ocelot is too hot headed and jumps the gun, that he won't be able to focus if he is always judging others. On a deeper level, it read to me as Volgin cares for Ocelot. That the judgement from Ocelot doesn't just break the GRU's unity, it breaks Volgin's unity with Ocelot.

Volgin doesn't want to get rid of Ocelot, that much is evident when in the final boss battle when this is their exchange.

Ocelot shoots at Volgin, disobeys orders, disrespects his title, etc, etc. Despite this, they have the same back and forth they always do. Volgin simply keeps ordering him until Ocelot just leaves. It comes across as Volgin trusts Ocelot to find the bombs, either that or views him too inferior to do any real damage on his own devices. All and all, Volgin doesn't care about Ocelot's disrespect towards him when if it was anyone else they'd be dead.

Speaking of the boss fight, it really added more to their relationship.

THIS ESPECIALLY

Volgin comes so close to shocking Ocelot, but he can't, simply just a warning. Then in the next scene, Ocelot looks to Volgin for reassurance on his aid to Snake. This back and forth always ends each word from Ocelot with an obedience to Volgin.

The fact Volgin and Ocelot have whole conversations with each other from body language alone and the way Ocelot himself relies on body language really is such a good detail

The way they simply talk with one another also always felt like a parent to a child to me. (Maybe a very bad parent but still) In a way, they are a very fucked up found family.

Ocelot kidnapped by The Philosophers as a baby, sent to the GRU to be a spy at 16 and being guided through the rest of his years up until the end of teenage life by Volgin who he knew he'd have to betray at some point. Volgin who was raised by a member of The Philosopher.

While family has never been something they have been expanded on with, I think that speaks more. Neither Ocelot nor Volgin have any semblance with family. They are each other's only sense of that. Through the traitorous attitude of Ocelot and through the hedonist sadism fogging Volgin, they are the only people who get each other but ultimately are not fond of each other in most scenarios. They serve as a twisted parallel of The Boss and Snake to me.

Which sucks even more when The Boss is literally Ocelot's real mom, don't know how to thread that in either, but it's just ughhh literally custody battle between The Boss and Volgin every time they're on screen together with Ocelot

I could talk forever and ever about the analysis between them, but onto the meta. My issues are not within any prejudice or forced characterization like Kaz and Quiet. However, I feel they come from the writers thinking they were not interesting enough. They don't put a lot of their relationship on the surface and by the time players realize their relationship the game is over. MGS is really a game that always deserves a second playthrough to fully grasp its ideas and characters.

Volgin and Ocelot didn't grasp a lot of people because they weren't pushed and pushed like EVA and Snake. They were an afterthought in the game while I think they really could've been given more, considering how much of Volgin affects Ocelot. Ocelot liked torture because of how Volgin raised him, Ocelot has a complicated relationship with Russia partially due to Volgin, and Ocelot's relationships with people are forever shadowed by how Volgin raised him.

I think they really could've been something so interesting, but so much of it was swept under the rug by other relationships and topics within the game. I don't know, tell me what you think this is mostly spit balling about two characters I really like. 🐆