#fell in love when they were young
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snsmonth24 | cowboys
#sns#snsmonth24#naruto#sasuke#narusasu#sasunaru#myart#brokeback mountain au#fell in love when they were young#now they're stuck with wives they don't like and meet up in secret#this is practically canon#star-crossed in every universe
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fwee top 5 things i had fun with this year :-)
#*begins talking to myself in my tags like a freak*#since reikoumi retired i have thought about zuka less than ever before in my zuka-knowing life. i used to think about REAL women EVERY day#i miss being in love with reiko. being loopy about a REAL person......damn...what was that even like...so distant (happy birthday to her)#my zuka obsession wanes & waxes through the years. it's fine. peaks were 2014 (first saw it live) 2019 (lived there) 2022 (reikoumi reign)#fields of mistria is really cute and fun....i love it a lot more than stardew. i love my crush....i love baking..feeding my golden rabbits.#i've played it for like 70 hours and it's not even out of early access....PLEASE UPDATE IT!!! I NEED MORE FISH TO CATCH! NOW!#edgeworth game was lovely. i actually was thinking of narumitsu as much as orufrey for a while. Whoa. but i never drew those ideas...#VEILGUARD....WAS STUPID FUN FOR ME. my personal and romantic little adventure :)#falling in love in a game isnt the same as when you already know you'll love a character. it's UNEXPECTED. keeps you young.#orufrey.........ya know the deal. They are my life.#the only thing that distracts me seriously from orufrey is when i think not of their love but MY love.....in video games.#runners up were dragon age 2 where i also fell in love. i immediately spat out so much art about da2 and veilguard LOL#i discovered various media that wasnt included here too..read some good manga..etc#i made several personal comics this year (the wha oc one and the Wolf one) and a lot of.. semi-personal art like my veilguard oc#i'm slowly learning to express myself artistically in ways that arent orufrey...... next year..i want to achieve various things....#i don't know what i can really manage any more. but i'll try a bit harder. just in CASE life can still be good..#OH AND I DID BG3 HONOUR MODE...bg3 was a 2023 thing but the first half of this year i was also just soulfully playing bg3. saved me#the second half of the year was actually better even though i got sick. Weird. anywayyyy *ceases talking to myself*#i pray for health and safety and peace for everyone and for my dreams to come true.
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i may be obsessed.
#her name is tenka but everyone calls her brandy#(warden nickname she earned in her early days due her unbreakable record of being able to drink ANYONE under the table)#her mother was banished from orzammar when she fell pregnant with her (long story very sad and dramatic and lowkey personal)#and while she was pregnant she was cared for and eventually fell in love with a gentle blacksmith from a small ferelden village#who her mother married (taking his surname) and who raised tenka as his daughter#she was a young child during the fifth blight and their village survived unscathed w the exception of some food shortages and trade issues#nothing life shattering#but she had heard of the darkspawn from her mother's stories about their family's history and they were her boogeymen#her monsters under the bed#but her parents reminded her she's smaller than all the other children and that's her strength. she's brilliant at hide and seek.#the darkspawn didn't come during the apex of the fifth blight but after#some lone grey warden had been staying at the inn that weekend. said something about looking for someone#now when the darkspawn came tenka Hid. her father was outside. her mother had already gone to the market. it was still morning#they said they wouldn't get in the house. it got very loud and then very quiet. and they got in.#she burst from the cupboard and ran to her father's smithy but she was only a child and when a darkspawn axe raked her back she collapsed#into the rack of blades she had been reaching for. these were her monsters and she was bleeding so much and her parents were missing#and she was so scared so so so scared. between fight and flight it was always flight and she had nowhere left to fly to#another graze of the blade across her chest as she scampered back made her scream and that's when she saw rowena#her uncles and cousins from her mother's stories never felt like heroes due to what they did to her mother but when she saw rowena hack#down her monsters piercing through them valiantly like light through the crack in her dark bedroom door#with her mother and father right behind completely safe and sobbing and relieved and Alive#she had never looked up to someone more#see rowena got a lot of things wrong but brandy is exactly what she got right#only two villagers died. farmers. it had been but a small darkspawn raid. but she saved a girl. saved a family. saved a town.#rowena stayed in town while tenka recovered (most likely to ensure she didn't contract the blight) and tenka adored her every move#she knows nothing of rowena's struggles. knows nothing of rowena's missteps. nothing of the constant reminder of mortality in her head#just that she's her hero. just that she wants to be exactly like her.#she joined the wardens young with a kiss to her parents goodbye and never looked back even when it turned out to be harder#in ways she'd never imagined. but she was immovable. a force of will. she was dauntless and daring and it was her idolization of rowena#that inspired her and kept her going. where other wardens cracked no amount of hardship could break her. it was almost Smug
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this Max with this Gustavo:
#james martinez with long hair it's madness#and I believe they fell in love with each other when they were young#better call saul#breaking bad#gustavo fring#gus fring#max arciniega#gus x max#gusmax
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i like to imagine that sometime in between ep7 and ep8, charlie takes vaggie to cannibal town to help train some of the residents who will fight in the upcoming extermination, and while visiting vaggie sees the kid she spared and maybe gets to have a proper conversation with him and/or his family
#i know that vaggie probably looks rather different than she did three+ years ago when she fell#but i definitely feel as though if you were a sinner who was about to be brutally stabbed by an angel#and then she Didnt Stab You#i think you’d be able to recognize her even if you’re fairly young#(also i know some people think that all the cannibals are hellborn but i believe that some are sinners and some are hellborn)#(this child being hellborn would make no sense because that means vaggie was kicked out for sparing a hellborn child)#(aka doing what she is legally supposed to do)#(so being a cannibal will probably get you into hell regardless of age)#also i really like the idea of vaggie and charlie getting to see the good that came out of her actions#assuming lute and adam didnt just go immediately kill the child she spared (it can be applied the extermination ended almost immediately#after vaggie fell given that you can see charlie walking around looking for injured sinners just a few minutes later so hopefully the#child survived)#then i like to believe the child ran home and got to tell the people who care for him that story#and maybe someone will even thank vaggie for her mercy#in a very strange way givennthat they are cannibals and all#think of a cat who kills mice and gives them to you. that’s probably how cannibals show love except with human limbs#anyways i want to write a one shot about this tbh#my post#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin vaggie#hazbin hotel cannibal town#cannibalism#should probably tag that just in case lmfao#does this cannibal child have a name#im calling him#spared cannibal child#very very original and thoughtful name i know i know#hazbin hotel charlie#charlie morningstar
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HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!!
#dexdark#dexter's laboratory#dexter's lab#dexter#mandark#flame draws#every year they stayed up and wish each other a happy new year ever since they were young#even when they rivals although it seemed more mocking. they were lonely and did it anyway and it tumbled into a tradition from then on#each year passing their wishes of a new year turned softer. this year? the same tradition. they've tried to stay up but they were much olde#staying up late is difficult when you're so tired from the entire year crashing on you#they fell asleep right before the clock hit. and when it did it only it only woke Mandark. who quickly turned it of to let his husband#have a few more winks of sleep and kissed his forehead and joining his love in sleep once again#dexter love mandark's stubble and giving chin scratches that dark relishes in. make him fall warm and fluffy inside#i mostly drew it to show they were older. hope it showed#soft sleepy kisses are one of my favorites#also mandark drools in his sleep#there could have been a much sadder verison of this >:> but lets have fluff lmao#there was several verison of this! dexter waking first and giving the kiss. mandark trying to wake up dexter before the clock hit#only to be too sleepy and kiss him on the lips quickly before passing out again then the clock hits while mandark is dumbfounded.#just quickly threw colors around lol i hope it looks fine#it was a really good year for art I grew so much since then. mentally and artistically#hope to be here for a very long time. you cant get rid of me easily#my resolution? to spam that tag till it's a overflowing bucket in my free time and explore more fandoms :D#also maybe lessen my rambles in tags. . .
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Grappling with the insane bittersweetness of the first member of my little found family moving away WOW THE FEELINGS HAVE HANDS
#like. I moved to this city completely alone when I was 22#later followed by the person I’d marry#and we fell into this beautiful friend group of young queers and we’ve grown so much together#spent half a decade with them#they were in my wedding#we’ve helped each other buy houses and get new jobs#and we’re all starting to move on now and I’m so fucking happy for them but SO sad#like we will probably be moving away in the next 6 months as well#just#what a fucking honor and privilege to grow with them and laugh and cry and come out and get married and learn to be a person#I will love them until I die
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Semi continuation to the ask about shadowpeach not thinking about the fact they might have been trapped simultaneously. I understand them thinking the other purposefully abadoned them NOW, in present times with all the bad blood. But seriously how in all the years they were trapped, how did they not think 'hey maybe the reason my loving mate isnt rescuing me is because he actually cant. Im being punished, why not him'
(comes crawling out of the chap.4 document covered in blood and picks this ask up off the kitchen table) ........... uhhhh oh okay. yes. okay
in chapter 4 (SOBS AND CRIES) this will be vaguely explained. maybe? I don't know anymore. but also uhm.
A lot of this has to do with, like, expectations. We know, since this was from Wukong's perspective, what he thought about Macaque even if he's being all "I hate you, you suck!!" right now. He fucking is impressed with Macaque's powers and takes him seriously in every fight. He knows Macaque can't be underestimated. He respects his abilities and magic. He thinks it's cool that Macaque can teleport anywhere! In the Mate Day flashback, he DEADASS thought Macaque just...made a new shadow spell out of the blue. I don't know if I've made this clear, but it is difficult to make new spells.
Wukong held Macaque in a high regard. He was the only one (and still is) who can stand toe to toe with him, after all.
And we all know Macaque thought Wukong could do anything. He's the MONKEY KING. Sun Wukong! Able to beat celestial armies and stand up to gods! He's invincible! He gets whatever he wants! Past!Macaque saw all of this and got it into his head that .. there is nothing that can stop Wukong.
When you have those expectations, you're left with this feeling of... "Why isn't he here???? He can do anything... I've seen it. Why isn't he saving me?" Because you don't think of them being beaten. That's not feasible in that mindset. Incomprehensible. It's also a very childlike notion but they were young then.
It's grappling with the fact that the person you thought was all-powerful and amazing...isn't. Everyone has limitations. No one is perfect. People are going to disappoint you. A person cannot be there for you 24/7 and expecting that is unrealistic.
Also, in chapter 4, you'll see why Macaque wasn't...thinking about that as much. He had other stuff going on.
For Wukong, since we know his story and that he was under that mountain for a while, he did do some thinking...but he just didn't want to believe it. He couldn't...see that happening. Not Macaque.
I think it's clear by this point that...both of them have a hard time coming to grips with the truth.
#constellations fic#ask#anon#i know from a reader's perspective this is probably frustrating#and you're thinking 'cloud is making them stupid on purpose'#I don't think I am. I think that...when you are dealing with a first love and someone that's immensely powerful#it's easy to fall into that 'they're invincible' mindset#and when it comes to young love there's this like...feeling of just thinking everything's perfect#when it's not. there's problems. there's things that need to be worked on#past!shadowpeach to me is puppy love...it's the beginnings of something beautiful but it's not as deep and founded as it could be#and they've each built up this ideal of the other#they see each other in this really dangerous and specific way#maybe that ideal...is part of the reason why they fell in love#not saying that it wasn't legitimate; it was#but just that there were a lot of feelings that went into that love that they weren't aware of and didn't know how to explain#they were beautiful together and their love was real#but it was by no means perfect#no love is#but it was the start of something. it was meaningful and important.#and it taught them lessons that...they're still unpacking now#idk if you've ever had like...this built up ideal of a person come crashing down#but it's a gut wrenching feeling#even if you know you were in the wrong
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naming ocs is such a struggle in general but its especially a struggle when you want to name ur ocs realistic stuff thats of non white and/or non english speaking origin because like if ur a foolish monolingual english speaker like myself u gotta constantly outrun the churned out baby naming website listicles of non-english names listed with meanings they either garbled through a game of telephone at best or just straight made up at worst while trying to find any research source u can read thats half decent. fighting for my life out here
AND LIKE its not like i can ask any friends and acquaintances about this stuff like HOW do i ask some work buddy like hey. what culturally thoughtful name should i give my funny little cartoon guy. thank you and goodnight I CANT i cant do it orz
of course i dont mind a weird made-up name on occasion, but like. and this might be more important to me in particular as i am some kinda vaguely ambiguous mixed race person with very noticeably "ethnic" name for the north american country i live in who also has like 389423053742 vaguely ambiguous mixed race ocs but. you know. i love my oc Sci. and I love that his name is Sci short for Science Fiction. and I love that he's a second generation iranian canadian named Sci pronounced Sai short for Science Fiction. but a real human name would be nice sometimes too LOL
#lia and her friends names are all wack. on purpose but yeah#i think i mentioned before that their names were like shortened versions of placeholder names that just stuck#except rosie. he's just always been rosie HJKFDLSJFDS#but yeah i like those guys and their slightly wack names. well not all of them are wack#lia's just a slightly uncommon but not that uncommon alternate spelling of a very common name#bibi is technically a normal name in some cultures. but maybe not that normal on a young man of eastern european and indo caribbean descent#but maybe it IS normal on a young man of eastern european and indo caribbean descent. if you believe. in the power of friendship#eri and tora are also just like normal names in a few different cultures#em is a pretty common nickname for a lot of names like emily and emile and shit. and when i think about it a guy with indocaribbean heritag#having the name Emile would be pretty common where i live at least. but his name isnt emile. its just em JKLFDSJFDsd#theres no way i can rationalize Fell's name i dont think. she sounds like an AU fan character of some game. but thats okay i love her anywa#also yeah like 70% of the Lia Crystal Darling cast has some kinda indian caribbean heritage because i am. also of that LOL
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☀️
#we were at a little party at my friend’s house#and her crush sat on the couch and wasn’t talking or anything#finally he fell asleep just as the sun was setting and the light was hitting#all golden hour vibes#and my poor friend was looking at him like 🥹🥹🥹#she wanted to take a picture but then his mom walked in and woke him up 💀#the poor girl gets so little opportunity to hang out with him and when she does it’s always thwarted somehow#she’s just like me fr#but yeah after everyone else left it was just her and I talking and i played “while you were sleeping” for her#and she was like eeeeeejsbsgjsjshs#aaaaaah young love#elly's posts
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thinking about the tragedy that is never truly getting to be close with my family. i feel guilty about it sometimes. but then i remember how hard I've tried, my entire life, to connect. and i remember the things they did to me in return. and i remember that it's okay not to have a relationship with them.
#especially my sister. we were so close when she was younger.#then she fell down the alt right pipeline#then she got better! and we got along really well!#and now she lies and schemes and manipulates like it's her job. almost everyone i know fell victim to her wake in some way#and it sucks you know? because i feel like i knew her heart. but one day she just changed.#trying to kill me for having a friend over while she was at work was my last straw.#i spent years and months begging her to spend any amount of time with me. and when she entered her manipulate era i tried to distance#but i still felt so much love for her. i still felt the need to have some connection.#and then came november. after a month of me being gone - one of the first things she did was try to kill me.#because i had a friend over. while she was at work.#now i feel a dislike for her like i would anyone who acted so horribly.#i feel disgusted when she talks to our mother all sweet like she doesnt lie to her every day.#growing up she was the favourite and anyone can tell.#as an adult she uses that as best she can.#she's been watching total drama lately. i can hear it from her room. it used to be my favourite show when we were young.#i wonder if she remembers. i wonder if she cares.#it's so strange to feel the way i feel about all of this.#i want her to mourn our relationship the same way i do. i want her to remember that i tried and she had every chance to reciprocate.#i don't know. it's all so complicated. and sometimes it still hurts.#wiggle
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what's the first anime you remeber watching?
dragon ball z! i was immediately exposed to it growing up because my older brothers were hugely into it, so it's one of the first pieces of media that i was exposed to.
#ask#anon#i remember we had these old wall stickers of most of the characters on the wall next to our bunk bed.#but yeah i remember having dreams and memories of wanting to be trained by piccolo but uh#i was far too young to understand what piccolos actual intentions were for doing so#as a kid i misinterpreted a lot of stuff about DBZ because i didnt have the right contexts#like i thought yamcha was gokus brother. i thought piccolo and goku were really good friends.#i though raditz was tricking goku when he said he was his brother#i thought kame house and kami were related. and i was always so confused why god had his own merch and a house he didnt live in#oh. i thought ox king was like. a dude chi chi was dating while goku was gone. or like goku just lived with them.#it took me a really really long time to learn who ox king was. and that he was chi chi's dad.#but anyway yeah. we had a fair ammount of DBZ merch and games. though the games were region locked#so my brothers had to use something that hooked into the ps1 to play those games#i dont remember what or how though#we had... Ultimate Battle 22 and... Legends? the latter had a dark gray border around the screen and icons of the characters faces#but it wasnt until i owned DBZ Budokai that i fell in love with the show#and was my first exposure to Zarbon#it came out in november 2002. so i was 4 when i got it. cause i let my cousin borrow it for his birthday when he turned 3.#i never got that game back from him cause everytime i asked back then hed always make an excuse to never give it back#he doesnt know where it is these days which sucks cause i want a physical copy again...#and btw its not an exaggeration when i say Zarbon is the reason im the way i am#literally the moment i saw him i was like ''wow. he has long hair. jewelry. pink attire. and a regal voice? wow. a guy can be that?''#and then he turned into his monster form and i was like ''oh this dude is so fucking cool''#and now i am bisexual because of him#anyway thank you for asking anon! :)#sad to say that idk what other animes i wouldve watched around that time if we wanted to put up another likely source#i also didnt know what an anime was as a kid. it was just cool brutal cartoons to me
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fucking... ow.
#it's the worst when i can feel where they cracked when i was a kid#like... that coupled with my neck deciding to be fucked up and my ankle being Weird#makes it feel like i *just* fell off the horse and got kicked like yesterday#as opposed to 20+ years ago#this is what i remember feelign like immediately post-incident and for a while afterwards#and i cannot BELIEVE my parents didn't do anything about it#i don't remember taking medicine for it i think i was still too young for my parents to feel safe giving me anything other than#children's tylenol which i don't think we used for this#so i was just feeling like this but worse because it was fresh and my ribs were cracked#like... like that's fucked up. that's fucked up and i'm mad about it because i'm in pain still and i just#why didn't anyone listen to me? why didn't they take my complaints seriously?#i fucking loved riding and it was bad enough i never got back on again and no one thought anything of this#i'm... i'm so mad#btw psa: if reblogs are on it's fine to reblog anything of mine i post#if i don't want you reblogging it i'll turn them off#you dont' gotta ask if the button is on you're welcome to use it#i'll one day get around to making a pinned post where i clarify it#but yeah don't fuckin worry bro just reblog if it speaks to you
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I came an awful long way to find you.
#where were you when I was new...#when I was one of those innocent young maidens...#how dare you...#oh no the cynic fell in love with the wounded idealist and redeemed it for her and I got attached. groundbreaking#I am so sad. so so sad
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Had another dream story idea and it's BAD out here y'all. My subconscious said "you don't go for sad old white men yaoi? Well here's one and you have to care about it so much. Good luck"
#the braiiiin worms#The surrounding story was very good lotr asoiaf 80's fantasy epic and then there were these two dudes just So Achingly In Love oh my GOD#Basically they had been knights together back in the day during their own Young Men Do Big Things story and deposed the evil mage king#They were just village boys turned soldiers who fell in love and did something good#but then the one was basically forced to become king because he'd killed the last one and had to get married and produce an heir#So he does get married but tells the queen he's never going to sleep w her and she can fuck who she likes and her kids can have the throne#Since he's not even nobility he doesn't care about The Bloodline#His lover is promoted to “protector of the king” 👀 and they manage to be happy despite the restrictions of royal life#Eventually though it comes out that the king's kids aren't his#And this sparks a conflict between “loyalists” who want the True King's Legacy and the “monarchists” who want Real Noble Lineage#With the queen basically standing back and watching it happen as the crown prince decides now is a great time to try “patricide”#the lover finds the king's nephew (the loyalists' heir) and tells the guard to take him to distant family to raise until he's old enough#But the guard is like “he's gonna get found out in no time” so instead sells him to ppl who find exotic kids for nobles to keep as wards#and he basically disappears into a faraway household and the lover doesn't even know#Meanwhile the king survives a poison attempt but is now physically impaired and on high alert#He leaves with a small retinue to Do Some Business but when he comes back the castle gates are up and arrows start raining down#So it's him and his little group at the edge of a market vs. an entire castle#In the ambush/battle he is seriously wounded#and they try to fake his death to get back in the castle and then nurse him/sneak him out#But the prince doesn't take it at face value and stabs the “body” to make sure#and the lover has to act through watching his all-but-husband who'd just planned their escape from all this get killed in front of him#So that it doesn't blow his cover and get him killed too#That's about where the dream ended but I'm uggg g h gg#I'm SO invested in these two fantasy gays and their incredibly poetic relationship#Doesn't hurt that there were like 3 very graphic sex scenes between them across the timeline#And they were so obsessed with and hungry for each other the whole time.... the last one was just before the ambush#after the king has been left near-immobile from the poison and they're like 40-something#and the lover takes him away from all that and back to the days it was just them and he was strong#It was sooo romantic but also hell when can I get ravaged like that#Anyway I'm ruined and I can't even really work on it I have too many other things to do
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god. wow. goddammit whyyyyyyy
so. like. out of NOWHERE. I dream about him. like this is the first time in uhhhh, I don’t even know. Like I just stopped having dreams like that one and he’s there! same place. Those dreams and dreams in that setting have actually stopped for the most part? but oop here we are! back again!
so it’s a weird dream. I’ve been out doing something? and then I’m back inside and I need my bag because me and some others don’t have our bags for whatever reason. Like we left them somewhere while also maybe never had them with us at all. So everyone’s family/partners/friends pack/bring them their bags. And I have no one there! So they’ve arranged for someone else to get me mine. And. And. And.
It’s him.
Of course it’s him! the fuck. He’s standing there with the bag on his back. I have to wait for him to do something first, he’s addressing a bunch of people and then we walk off, I guess bc he wants to talk first before he gives me the bag? catch up in the time we have sort of thing. When we leave the corridor he stops and we go to talk ‘privately’ in a bathroom which isn’t actually there irl. One door opening up to two. We go into the ladies and there’s a couple of older women in there but there’s a little alcovey bit, and they don’t notice us. Obviously I don’t remember what he said exactly but the gist kinda was about us (finally) being together or something? And I’m compelled to just grab his face and kiss him but obviously he wasn’t ready, it’s not quite right, but he does let me do it again but I’ve sort of gone off the idea and we have to be careful not to get caught so it’s only like a second. Also kinda not nice? Like a weird battery type taste/sensation idk. Then he talks a bit more and I think I wake up? Or we/I leave the room first.
It was so random. Like it’s been so long?? And like a surprise for me within the dream, like you have no one here so here’s the only logical person that makes sense for this setting. And it was him wanting to tell me that he’s ready for this to be a thing. So we’ll see what next dream brings me. I have no idea what prompted this dream either.
fucked me up for a moment.
#also I realised that I am going to be the same age he was when I first knew of him in ‘09 like…. what.#that fucked me up#soon I’ll be the same age as he was when I fell in love with him in a few years#and! so many celeb crushes I had/have are the same or almost the same age as him…. like they were that young too??#oh this guy still occasionally invites me to gigs. but not every gig?#so I always wonder if he decides what to send me or just sometimes I’m there at the top of the list or he sends them to everyone?#one day I’ll go…#one day
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