#felix! is! a! very! complex! character! who! is! an! ass! to! everyone!

[agarthium]

to that end, there's no conflict between the skills needed to maintain his princely facade and his true desire for blood

this turned into like an essay, sorry.

hey so, dimitri's character arc is explicitly about (severe) trauma and survivor's guilt. this was like, painfully obvious to me as a trauma survivor and the game kinda shoves what the themes of his story are in your face several times. it's not subtle whatsoever and that's a necessary lens to view his character from. he doesn't have "skills" to maintain a princely "facade" - he's compartmentalized or repressed or dissociated (all related phenomena but not all the same thing. i think compartmentalization is a form of dissociation. repression is parallel to dissociation but they manifest and function in different ways) the traumatic experiences he's had in a way that allows him to function in day-to-day life, while still experiencing post-traumatic symptoms. that's not a conscious decision he's made, it's a survival mechanism. like, that's how ptsd and other trauma disorders work.

to some degree, he's aware of this:

Everyone has something that is unacceptable within them. I certainly do, and I'd wager you do as well.

I wonder which is best, Professor... To cut away that which is unacceptable, or to find a way to accept it anyway...

dimitri's "princely facade" isn't false and it isn't some kind of deliberate act or ruse. his functional, day-to-day self both consciously and subconsciously or unconsciously rejects the traumatized parts of himself. he doesn't want anything to do with the parts of himself who are angry and vengeful and guilty and scared because those parts engulf him when they intrude in his day-to-day life, as you can see in remire and once he starts properly spiraling. the anger and the vengefulness is ego-dystonic because traumatized parts embody these emotions are operating from trauma responses that come from a triggered nervous system - when he is in this state, and in the state that he's in during his psychotic break, he is not thinking logically or within his actual morals and ethics, he's essentially operating from a fight or flight response. he doesn't listen to reason because no one is capable of listening to reason when they are violently triggered. this is how trauma works. and of course he's not gonna have the toolset and maturity to appropriately deal with that considering his circumstances and the state of the world.

but like with ptsd and other trauma disorders, this bites him in the ass later, because none of those survival mechanisms actually resolve and integrate the pain/fear/guilt/etc. from the initial experience. this happens most prominently in the form of a psychotic break. there are no small number of people who report having auditory hallucinations that center around or are related to traumatic experiences. psychosis is to trauma as lung cancer is to smoking. but his mind/nervous system is still engaging in survival mechanisms to divert the pain and the enormous survivor's guilt he's dealing with away form him - which is why he places all the blame on edelgard and focuses on her as his target, regardless of the truth of the matter. dimitri's guilt and shame are reflexively externalized because he does not have the capacity in those moments to confront and process the reality of what happened (fyi preoccupation with revenge is a very, VERY common experience in complex ptsd, which can obviously lead to some violent thoughts and fixations and sometimes violent tendencies.)

as such, just like with how ptsd and other trauma disorders are understood in the real world, both dimitri's functional day-to-day self and his traumatized part(s) are the "real him." neither are an act or a facade of any kind, they are just not integrated together into a cohesive whole. the game pretty explicitly talks about this in a conversation between he & felix:

F: Sometimes you have an animal's face, contorted with anger and bloodlust. At other times, a man's, with a friendly smile.

F: Which is your true face?

D: Do not waste your breath on questions with such obvious answers. They are both the real me.

as stated, in trauma disorders, the day-to-day self rejects and disowns traumatized parts. this is what is "unacceptable" and what he wants to cut away from himself, especially since the morals and ethics he otherwise demonstrates aren't in line with a deep-rooted desire to butcher people, which is where "ego-dystonic" comes in. it can simultaneously be true that 1. dimitri's traumatized parts are a part of his "true" self (if divided) 2. those parts are associated with feelings and thoughts and behaviors that are ego-dystonic. accepting the traumatized part of him that desires vengeance for his family's death doesn't mean letting that part of himself engulf him and carrying out said vengeance. it's complicated to explain but it's more about accepting what those feelings are rooted in (anger, grief, guilt, shame) rather than what the feelings are at face value. it's not nearly as black-and-white as "bloodthirst." he begins the path to recovery once he starts accepting the guilt, shame, anger, etc. rather than continuing the cycle of rejecting it as a part of who he is.

none of this is a justification for dimitri's actions. none of this is a justification for the actions of anyone who's suffering with trauma and their behavior as resulted in other people harmed. like, he committed atrocities. yeah. this is a game about war and there's plenty of fucked up shit in it. but seeing stuff like this kinda feels like a spit in the face because it demonstrates a lack of understanding how trauma affects people, how trauma recovery works, and how that relates to dimitri's character arc.

conversely, edelgard is an example of where i think the writer's of this game fumbled - edelgard is also dealing with severe trauma and survivor's guilt (her siblings), but there is not nearly as much substance given to her character or attention to her trauma as dimitri. some of it is subtly seen in how she has a restrictive affect and thinks about things primarily through a pragmatic, detached lens rather than emotionally-driven. she's virtually been rid of personhood (aside from small things) and has had that replaced with a cause. that's another way trauma (particularly edelgard's) can manifest itself in a person. but otherwise she's basically given a token nightmare scene and overall i feel like her writing within her own route was wasted potential. there's a lot of wasted potential irt more depth to fe3h as a whole tbh and the fact that the white dude and co. apart of the typical medieval Europe fantasy kingdom group is the one given the most attention to his character vs. the other lords is probably not be a coincidence. edelgard as a character would be probably painfully relatable to me if she were given more attention and care. an argument can be made for claude as well since racism, he had assassin's sent after him as a kid, and a complicated relationship with his parents to top it off, but i also kinda enjoy the subtle ways in which his character arc plays out & i could probably write an essay on how his behaviors relate to his own trauma as well.

sure, talk about faerghus and feudalism and misogyny in the story. i'm not against that. obviously feudalism is some outdated reactionary bullshit and faerghus/the church or whoever embody reactionary ideals. but if you're gonna talk about the characters themselves don't be like, dense about it, especially when it comes to sensitive subject matters like trauma and psychosis, especially when it comes to the latter due to how demonized and mishandled psychosis usually is in fictional media (which it definitely is in fe3h, even if it's framed in a sympathetic light.)

but if you demonize/frame dimitri's character in this way you are straight-up missing the point of what his story is doing in terms of his mental state and it easily comes off a unsympathetic to many of the things that trauma survivors deal with irl (such as violent urges/fantasies.)

[dualbrand]

—u guys have NO IDEA how much i wanna make a felix blog. no. idea.

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

Just me rambling about Encanto again

So, something that i think is missing from many people's takes about Encanto and Generational trauma is that...it goes across generations, and multiple generations are guilty of inflicting it. Rewatching the movie it amazed me even more how much the fandom has turned Abuela into a caricature (jeje) villain instead of the complex character she is meant to be, and how realizing every characters role in the trauma being passed on gives the fact that Abuela was forgiven so quickly more sense.

Something that really struck me is how we never see the family members with magical powers use them for their own personal gain, i think the closest we get is Camilo pretending to be Dolores to get double portions and we see how that is immediately stopped by Felix, and even then, the first time we see Camilo he is using his power to help a mother get some rest from her newborn.

But even little 5 year old Antonio gets powers and the first thing he does the very next morning is use them to keep Abuela's seat warm.

So i think one of the things that Abuela made clear was very important for her while the triplets and eventually their children were growing up is to be of service for everyone around them, after all they had a village to take care of, to the point where i think everyone developed the "i'm pretty sure im worthless if i can't be of service" mentality Luisa sings about.

What is in paper a great way of raising your children ``use your abilities to help others who need it" became so extreme that their entire lives became serving others.

From this stems Pepa's anxiety about her powers, if she cant control her emotions, her powers get out of control and can harm instead of help.This is also the reason Bruno gets progressively separated from the family. He sees the future, and people's futures can be both good and bad, so it became a 50/50 on whether or not his gift was "useful" for the people of the town.

Coming back to the scene the morning after Antonio's ceremony, Alma tells him they are going to find something useful to do with his gift...she tells this to a five year old kid, who shouldn't at all be concerned with the problems of other people and how to solve them, and NO ONE bats an eye, Pepa and Felix, grown ass 50 year olds, don't tell abuela that their 5 year old son is perhaps too young to be given so much responsibility.

Julieta and Agustín do a great job with Mirabel, telling her she doesn't have to prove anything to anyone and defending her from Alma when she puts her down but...they don't extend the same courtesy to their other children and i think it's because they have helped reinforced this idea in them.

Luisa struggles with her powers for at least 70% of the runtime, and before that we know she was mentally struggling with all her responsibilities and when she talks about it she doesn't say "I don't want Abuela to be dissapointed" she expresses how everybody would be disappointed. It takes her collapsing in front of everybody at Isabella's proposal for her parents to notice there is something wrong with her.

We also don't get a scene with any of them talking to Isabela about the proposal, and again, when she talks about marrying Mariano she talks about the family, not just Abuela in particular, because again, is not just her passing on the trauma.

Hell, even Isabella constantly bullying Mirabel because she felt her sister not having a gift meant she had even more pressure to be perfect.Every member is guilty- to a different degree, obviously- until Mirabel comes around and finally breaks the cycle.

I would've loved at the end when Abuela and Bruno were apologizing for Julieta and Pepa to apologize to their respective children as well, cause it would've made so much sense why they decided to welcome her back.

It's because Alma wasn't the only one to make mistakes, she wasn't the only one responsible for the family's hurting, all of them were, in one way or another.

[koshofthevorlons]

Thoughts on Adrien: Surprisingly Three-Dimensional

Adrien is a complicated character. He’s one who I will admit I have strongly mixed feelings on. He possesses more than a tinge of being a Gary Stu – especially given how Astruc views him as ‘perfect.’ He’s famous, an accomplished fencer, good at the piano, can speak multiple languages, skilled at sports, and more. Everyone in-universe either likes him, or in the case of Felix, is jealous of him. Despite supposedly being heavily sheltered and naive about how the world works, he delivers moral lessons to the protagonist. The background narrative goes out of its way to consistently try to make viewers feel sorry for him and excuse any mistakes he makes.

The series ignores his faults. Going as far as to have the writers’ tweets make it sound as if Chat Noir is an alternate character when they talk about Chat’s flaws. Paradoxically this very writing has created a potentially interesting character via Adrien’s character faults versus his actual good traits. When the narrative is not focused on it, his best traits shine through both as Adrien and Chat. From a character growth standpoint, Adrien has an immense amount of potential as character.

As Adrien, he is a rich white boy who has grown up with a silver spoon in his mouth. He has never wanted for anything at least in the material sense. Money issues have never been an issue for the Agreste family. Until his mother disappeared, he had happy childhood with a loving family. He’s already rich and famous despite still being a teen. Adrien is consistently popular with his fellow teens whenever he interacts with them be it in school, on the job, or at fencing class. He is a bright young man – and he knows it too. His good grades are a requirement for him to be able to get out of the house.

All in all, it seems like a bright life. Except his childhood is spent in a golden cage. A comfortable cage but a cage none the less. He was homeschooled until he finally managed to go to school at the start of the series. Even before Emilie’s disappearance, his social environment was unhealthy. His only interaction with other children was either through his modeling career, fans, fencing class, or the children of his parent’s social peers. Given his general attitude as Chat, his academic achievements are likely the result of his parents expecting a 100% success from their son. Like Chloé, the only real adult authority figures in his life seems to be parents. Adrien might respect Nathalie, but he doesn’t really treat her as an authority figure. Adrien’s fate would have likely followed that of many child stars if things had continued.

Despite this he’s happy and content. Then his mother disappears, and everything goes to hell. Gabriel withdraws into himself, either becoming emotionally abusive or it being more overt. Adrien is forcibly confronted by the prison-like nature of his environment. Cue the events at the start of the series with Adrien trying to get out of it.

Now why is all this rambling important? It lays the groundwork for explaining Adrien’s potential character: warts, sugar, and all. First off, as both Adrien and more noticeably Chat Noir, he possesses serious entitlement issues. It is most obvious in how he treats Ladybug, but it shows in his civilian life as well. He treats his feelings and wants as more important than other people: an example being how he acts when the class is celebrating when Chloé, a girl who had spent literal years tormenting her classmates, is seemly leaving. He also seems to possess either a superiority/inferiority complex or control issues due to his shitty home environment which every so often makes him act like he is better or knows more than other characters. An example of this Reflecdoll and how he tries to mansplaining how Ladybug’s powers works to her – once again forcing Marinette to carry his ass while also doing the duties of Lady Noire.

Most negatively is how his sense of entitlement has led him to harassing Ladybug. And it is harassment: Marinette has asked him repeatedly over multiple episodes to stop and told him she is not interested in him as Chat Noir. She has shown she is not comfortable when he tries to act romantic. There is a clear difference in how she acts when uncomfortable with his actions versus when the two acts as friends. Some people excuse Adrien’s behavior as him not knowing better, but I personally have a hard time not seeing him getting at least some anti-harassment training given his gig as a model. Plus, given the difference between how he acts as Chat versus Adrien suggests he has at least some clue he would face blow-back acting like he does.

Yet, it cannot be forgotten why Adrien was chosen to be Chat Noir in the first place. When pushes comes to shove, Adrien barring Syren has repeatedly shown his heart is in the right place. In Ladybug despite how uncomfortable it made him; Adrien made a deal with Lila to help Marinette. There are scenes of him helping former akuma victims in the background of episodes. When given a opportunity to discover Ladybug’s identity in the Miracle Queen, he instead did the right thing.

Adrien is at his core a flawed character. He is willing to help others but focused on his own wants. His is potentially a great hero if he can grow past his faults. The show repeatedly shows us his potential to be a good person. Both sides of the character are part of what makes Adrien who he is.

[kimium]

When I finished my Golden Deer run, I wrote a post about it. I just finished my Blue Lions run so I’m going to do the same thing here. Some questions may be changed or modified. The rest is below!

Why did I pick Blue Lions next?

I picked Blue Lions next simply because I really like Dimitri as a character more so than Edelgard. Thus, I was more interested in seeing his story and exploring his perspective in the entire story. Plus, I really like the Blue Lions units as characters, which really helped boost my decision to pick Blue Lions as my next route.

Pre knowledge or expectations to Blue Lions Route?

One post on Tumblr I saw stated that the Blue Lions route is like “King Arthur with Game of Thrones elements” which is a hilarious way to describe the Blue Lions route. I also recruited Ingrid in my Golden Deer route so I was expecting stronger themes of loyalty, honour, and obligations towards family and I enjoy these themes a lot.

Who did I recruit?

I managed to recruit EVERYONE that I was allowed to recruit. So, I wasn’t able to recruit Claude, Edelgard, and Hubert. Was it practical? No. Did I do it because I wanted to save everyone I could? You betcha.

Favourite characters (in Blue Lions)?

Since my Golden Deer run, I’ve grown to like all of the Blue Lions. Special note towards Dedue, Ashe, and Dimitri as characters I was able to learn more about. I also really like Felix and Sylvain as they’re such developed characters. Mercedes and Annette are super interesting too. Actually... I like all of the Blue Lions.

Least favourite characters?

I mean, a part from the obvious answers of Kronya, Tomas, and Solon? I’m mixed on Rhea (my opinion of her is very flexible now). I’m also a bit mixed regarding Edelgard though I’m holding back a lot of judgement until after I do her route and see her supports (which I’ve seen none).

Character I didn’t expect to like?

Last time I said Lorenz and this time I’m going to say Gilbert/Gustave. I went into the Blue Lion’s route knowing some of his past with Annette. I was ready to hear what sort of terrible father he was, but like all things I think he’s very complex. I think it’s very easy to just take Annette’s side and sympathize with her pain (which I do) but Gilbert’s reasons topped with his immense guilt are very realistic and I think just as sympathetic as Annette’s side of the story. (Plus, I watched this video analysis on Gilbert which really is a fascinating look at him, if you want to check it out.)

Favourite critical hit line/battle line?

I didn’t include this question last time, so to sum it up (so far):

Golden Deer’s goes to Claude’s “Hold a grudge if you must”. Which is just… so good.

(Special mention goes to Lysithea’s “You’re in my way!”)

Blue Lion’s goes to Ingrid’s “My duty is your death”. Which is just!!! Bad Ass.

Black Eagle’s is probably Dorothea’s “Only thorns left on this rose”.

Who did I marry?

I married Byleth to Dimitri because:

1) I largely ship everyone else with everyone else and I can’t break up my OTPs.

2) I won’t be able to marry Dimitri in other routes where for BE I don’t have a set person I want to marry so I’m more flexible in that route.

Any paired endings (except the one with Byleth)?

I got way more paired endings this time!!! And most of them were OTPs!!! So, in a quick list I got:

-Marianne/Hilda (Bubble Gum girls! Again!)

-Caspar/Linhardt (I’m such a sucker for this pairing)

-Catherine/Shamir (I got their A+ support and I Legit texted at least three people screaming over how Gay it is)

-Raphael/Ignatz (Very disappointed that their ending isn’t hinted they got together but oh well)

-Petra/Dorothea (A Solid paired ending)

-Dedue/Ashe (I got their supports done very quickly and I vowed to get their paired ending)

-Mercedes/Annette (A very pure ship in my mind)

-Ferdinand/Bernadetta (I wasn’t even aiming for this ending but it happened and I think it’s cute. Though in my BE run I’m aiming for Ferdinand/Hubert.)

-Sylvain/Felix (Hello, yes, I’m Sylvix Trash. Honestly, this is probably my favourite ship out of all of Three Houses.)

Favourite ships (not including Byleth in them)?

I think my above question tells a lot about my shipping in Three Houses. However, I will add that I also like: Dimitri/Felix, Dimitri/Dedue, Dimitri/Claude, Ferdinand/Hubert, Caspar/Linhardt/Ashe, Claude/Lorenz, Seteth/Byleth, Seteth/Jeralt, and… yeah, I’m sort of shipping the entirety of the Blue Lions House together (in any and all capacities).

Favourite support?

Dedue and Ashe’s supports are very wholesome. Dimitri and Dedue’s are also very cute. Felix has a ton of great ones, but special shout out goes to his with Flayn which was utterly killing me as she turned him into a “Fruit Ninja”. Caspar and Linhardt’s was very funny to me as well.

Also, Sylvain and Flayn’s C support is still my Top Tier support. I laugh at it every time.

Least favourite support?

You know what, I don’t think I really have a least favourite support? Maybe some I wish were longer or did something slightly different but nothing is really standing out to me.

Any thoughts on the DLC (Ashen Wolves)?

I finished the DLC as I was playing my Blue Lions route. However, since I already hit Time Skip in my file, I wasn’t able to recruit any of them nor see any of their supports. Since I haven’t done that yet I don’t have a lot of opinions except that:

1) I really like all of them.

2) I like Yuri a lot more than I anticipated.

Favourite unit?

I’d like to take the time to thank:

Lysithea for being a magic nuke, Ingrid for being a magic tank, Ashe for the consistent critical hits, Dedue for being my physical tank, Petra for being my dodge tank, Dimitri for… well… letting me know why Heroes gave him Death Blow 4 as his slot A skill, Bernie for Carrying the Army, Felix for putting up with me making him a dancer mainly for The Outfit, and Ferdinand for taking that one hit in the last map.

Least favourite unit/ Unit I wanted to use more?

I never found a way to use some of the Church units and I feel sort of bad about that. Except for Catherine who is a speedy sword unit and I like that.

Things that I did that in hindsight make me a jerk?

I um… in order to win the map when taking the Capital, I um… I had Ferdinand kill Hubert. Which… I did for two reasons. The small reason is I wanted to see their dialogue but the actual reason was I wanted to finish the map quickly and Ferdinand was the closest…

Any favourite songs?

God Shattering Star is Amazing.

Spirit of Dais is Great.

Basically, the entire soundtrack?

Hardest map?

Edelgard’s map at the end. I spent an hour yesterday and I kept losing units at this one point so I had to restart. I was not very happy last night.

Favourite activity in the monastery?

It’s a tie between sharing meals and tea time.

What are my expectations for Black Eagles route?

I expect I’ll learn more about Those Who Slither in the Dark. I hope I get the chance to take them down again like I did in the Golden Deer run. Of course, I’ll also gain more of Edelgard’s side of the story as well as learn more about Hubert. Oh, and bonus, I’ll get to see the Ashen Wolves and their supports!

That’s all the things I can think of to comment on. If you have any other questions or just want to chat about Three Houses, feel free to leave an ask!

[jennikkugoesoff]

Jennikku goes off about a Sonic the Hedgehog Reboot.

If you follow me at all or have read many of my other rants, you’ll know I love Sonic the Hedgehog. A lot, with all my heart. I met my friends through Sonic and it’s a franchise that’s changed a lot in my life, for better, for worse and everything in-between. It’s the reason I started to draw, to write and to really give creativity a chance.

It’s a series that has been through many twists, turns, up and down and all arounds over the course of it’s long, 28 (as of the time of writing) year lifespan, and has stood the test of time, being heralded either as one of the best video game franchises of all time, or, well, one of the worst out there, becoming more and more dated by each passing day.

But, it didn’t start out that way. Everyone’s told the long, terrible story now about Sonic’s massive rise to the top of 1990s American Iconography and his massive plummet into the depths of Hell, dragging his now-bitter fans down with him following the turn of the century and segwaying into the modern age, so I won’t bog you with the details you already know, but here’s the main point.

Sonic the Hedgehog... kinda sucks.

And that’s because it’s a mess. An astronomically confused, tired, and beaten mess. In the 28 year lifespan of Sonic the Hedgehog, it’s canon has become massively tangled in knots. Inconsistent games, inconsistent comics, inconsistent cartoons, and so on and so forth. Anyone who’s a fan of Sonic comes from a place where they heard about Sonic, be it the games, the cartoons, the comics, and so on, and therefore, have a different mindset about what Sonic the Hedgehog should be, which is the cause for much of the heavy, almost unpleasable climate the fan community gives off.

Really? The only way I see the series being salvageable is to wipe the slate clean and begin... at least somewhat anew, and see how these scatted pieces of broken glass we call the ‘Sonic canon’ can fit together.

This has been tried once, with Sonic Boom, but it didn’t really end well, and I’d like to change that, so let’s have this hypothetical reboot take the same form as Sonic Boom, as a potential ‘new face’ for the entire series, rather than a spinoff continuity. (I feel like this was the original intention of Sonic Boom, but due to the backlash, was revoked.)

Are you comfortable? Let’s go. It’s gonna be a long-ass, tiring, winding post.

(Seriously I spent fucking 3 days just writing this post. For that reason, there may be a few gRaMatTcul eRors here and there, just bear with me, okay? I’m tired and I just wanna heave out this monster of an idea.)

Housecleaning and on wiping the slate clean

Ok, before we actually get into redoing the series, I wanna make this clear, when I say I want to ‘wipe the slate clean’, that’s sort of an exaggeration. I don’t think Sonic needs to be completely rewritten from scratch, and certain elements of the series DO work very well, so it’s more we’re gonna ‘wipe the slate clean, but immediately redraw things back on, except bigger and better than they were before.’

The reason why is, Sonic the Hedgehog has a kind of ‘hoarder complex’ when it comes to his franchise. As I established earlier, the main problem with rebooting Sonic the Hedgehog as compared to another franchise like, say, Ducktales, or Ghostbusters, is that Sonic the Hedgehog has a lot of lore. Too much lore. Think about the crazy amount of lore surrounding Solaris, Mephiles, Dark and Light Gaia, the Wisps, Chaos, and Tikal, Shadow and the Black Arms, Silver, the Sol Dimension and Blaze, Eggman Nega, the Nocturnus Clan, the list goes on and on and on. It’s head-spinning, it’s confusing, and most of all, obtrusive to what’s actually important in the Sonic Canon versus what seems important.

This isn’t helped by the fact that Sonic has never really had a consistent ground to stand on in terms of his world and where he lives because where he lives changes with every game or new thing Sonic is in. So, introducing these new, complicated gods and grand, sprawling history all of a sudden doesn’t give the world Sonic lives in any ground or any real meaning if it’s just going to be ignored later on when Sonic Forces completely rewrites the world map from Unleashed. (This is a problem I have with the Mario and Kirby series too.)

Even if you claim something like the Sonic Archie comics have consistency in their setting, think about how much the comic’s version of Mobius changed over the course of its lifespan after not only being completely rewritten (thanks Ken Penders. I’m sure your horrific 3d render children are proud.) and two crossovers, not to mention all the subtle shifts and changes the comic made from its debut comic to its cancellation.

So, if we’re going to do this, we need to get this straight right now.

A new Sonic reboot will NEED to cover EVERY base of the Sonic continuity. Games, Comics, Cartoons, Merchandising (with the exception of maybe some anniversary stuff), The Whole Echidna- er, Enchilada.

If the problem with Sonic as it is, is that the continuity is messy because it keeps adding new stuff? THEN STOP FUCKING ADDING NEW STUFF!!

NO ONE’S GONNA LIKE THE NEW STUFF ANYWAY!!

PEOPLE FUCKING HATE CHANGE!!

THIS FRANCHISE IS SO FUCKing MiSTReATED!- FUCK!!

Nah, but seriously. If this reboot is gonna work, then it needs to BE a proper reboot. Not a side-series like Sonic Boom, not an ‘alternate dimension’ to dip into for mainline games, not a one-off series of animated shorts, no quills, no pillows. If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna go all in. At least in terms of continuity.

So, you know what we’re gonna name this reboot?

Sonic the Hedgehog

Just, Sonic the Hedgehog. Yep. All in, indeed.

Audience, Tone, and Genre

I feel maybe I should’ve split these into multiple sections, but, they really all go hand-in-hand. 

If we’re gonna remake Sonic, we gotta first decide how Sonic should feel, and who he’s going to appeal to. So, let’s consider what we’re working with first, based on the history of who Sonic has appealed to.

The whole point of Sonic’s young, hip, snarky personality was to appeal to the American youth of the 1990s (kids, teenagers, and young adults), the young, hip, snarky and coolest people around. Sonic sought to identify with these kids by being a little bit ‘edgier’ and ‘cooler’ than most other cartoon characters of his era, but still with the capability to be as cute, wholesome and inherently charming as his competition. Like the perfect little blend of the sarcastic wit of Bugs Bunny and the lovable personability of Mickey Mouse and Felix the Cat.

Many Sonic clones of the 1990s like Bubsy, Aero the Acrobat, and Zero the [CENSORED] Squirrel tried to piggyback off of Sonic in this manner by trying to play up Sonic’s edgy, snarky appeal, but what they lack is that more wholesome, laid back, simple, round and friendly aspects of his design. It’s why Sonic can look like this:

but also like this

like this

but also like this.

It’s why Sonic works so well as a cartoon character in animated shorts and cartoons, as well as an action character in high octane blood pumping action anime, and one of the reasons why I think his design is so appealing. It’s this, this perfect balance between cool superhero and cuddly, wholesome cartoon character that makes Sonic such the iconic character he is.

So what’s the point of me telling you that?

Well, lots of people disagree on what Sonic the Hedgehog’s tone should be, and what audience Sonic should appeal to. Many argue Sonic is a series strictly meant for children, and therefore shouldn’t take any risks and be cutesy, wholesome and bouncy. Others argue Sonic should market itself to teenagers and young adults by pushing its envelope with it’s material and turning itself into a giant melodrama with three-dimensional characters, intertwining relationships and giant, epic Dragon Ball Z style showdowns with blood, guts and the crunching of noses and teeth.

You know what’s popular right now though and seems to have been for a while? A blend of those exact two things.

It sounds dumb but, think about it. Video games and cartoons have been taking this turn toward being a little bit of the best of both worlds. Steven Universe, Undertale/Deltarune, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, even stuff like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, that sort of thing.

So, I think a new Sonic reboot should be an Action/Adventure-Comedy. It’s a series about long, lengthy quests and the ongoing war between nature and machine, but it’s also about a quick-witted cartoon character having fun picking on an overconfident evil scientist and his lackeys.

And you know what? I think Sonic is and has shown that this is the environment he flourishes in. Think about why Sonic Mania Adventures and Team Sonic Racing: Overdrive work so well, or why OK KO: Let’s Meet Sonic! is so great! It places Sonic and co. in an environment in which they have the opportunity to be funny and cartoony, but also leaves itself open to lead into more strict action sequences or serious, emotional moments, should it feel the need to. It lets the characters be the characters, without being impeded by everything needed to be babyproofed, but also not interrupted by fanfic-tier melodramatics every 2 and a half minutes. And, considering how much any media featuring Sonic relies on its characters to garner appeal, this is important.

Besides that, this is also important for something I think is going to make this reboot go from good to great.

: ✧･ﾟ: U N I F I C A T I O N ! :･ﾟ✧ : 

I’ve said this before in my other essay on how I’d reboot Sonic, but I truly feel that bringing together a lot of different elements of Sonic’s history together for this reboot is a top-notch idea for not only bringing the series back together whilst maintaining a wide appeal but also broaden the scope of potential characters, settings, and plot points we can work with, rather than just limiting it to just the classic era, or just the modern era, it also might leave veteran fans wondering just who or what was going to show up in the next game, or next episode!

Why limit ourselves to just a classic-style series or just a modern-style series? Why not mix it up a little?

Let’s take the cute classic stuff and mix it with some of the cool modern stuff!

I mean of course there’s gonna be purists but, hey, if we have a little bit of both we might just start seeing eye to eye!

So, what does that mean for the audience? Well, I think in that sense, Sonic should be able to appeal to, about anyone, really. Adults, Kids, Teenagers, anyone. It’d be like going to see a Marvel Superhero movie in the theaters or watching Spongebob on TV, yeah, it’d be something kids enjoy, but also something young adults can appreciate too. Although if we absolutely have to stick to a demographic, I’d say the ideal targets for a Sonic the Hedgehog reboot are two groups of people specifically.

Older fans of the series who grew up with the Adventure and Classic games, and Younger people who are more familiar with the modern games. As far as drawing new people or embittered old fans in?... Well, we’ll get to that.

Plot synopsis

It may seem like a no-brainer what the plot of Sonic the Hedgehog is, right? Well, of course it is. It’s been the same for over 20 years, and, I think the premise? Is fine.

“Sonic the Hedgehog is the fastest thing alive and a protector of nature who loves adventure. He’s smarmy and mischevious, but with a heart of gold and an unshakable sense of justice with a can-do attitude. His archnemesis, Dr. Eggman, wants to take over his natural, sprawling home and begin building his planet-conquering empire in its place. It’s up to Sonic and his group of friends to defeat Dr. Eggman, and restore peace to the world, and the green back to the hills.”

This? Right here? This is Sonic the Hedgehog. No matter who you ask, from any branch of the franchises thousand-foot tall family tree, this is Sonic the Hedgehog. There’s a couple of doodads and twists here and there depending on the specific game, but that’s really honestly it when you break it all down, that’s the plot of almost every Sonic game. But this can easily get lost and bogged down between all of the God-summoning and all that shit that other Sonic media does.

So, let’s keep the focus on this, and this alone. Just the ongoing misadventures, setbacks, leaps forward, threats and triumphs between Sonic and Co. and the forces of evil.

...(But let’s add the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald, I don’t think I can stand having a Sonic continuity without them and they make for good plot fodder, plus, I’ll be damned if I’m not seeing Super Sonic by the time a series finale or end-of-game hits.)

Setting + Background Lore

So, to set a location, let’s dumb down where Sonic actually lives. (Figuratively anyway, Sonic has no true home, just places he likes to be at any one time.)

In the Genesis days, Sonic lived on a tiny island called South Island, and the game’s settings often took place on South Island or on it’s neighboring islands Westside and Angel Island, and, given how important these old zones, like Green Hill and Chemical Plant Zone, are to the current Sonic Canon, I propose that maybe the setting for this potential reboot takes place on said islands, with one island for each of the cardinal directions on a compass, but also some of the other islands that are included in the Sonic series (as well as some adjusted ones!)

And, as a reference to the days of yore, we could even call it

The Mobius Archipelago

Each of these islands would have their own unique areas (referred to as ‘Zones’ for both nostalgia and convenience’s sake) based on the different levels from Sonic games. I’m unsure of the exact geography of these islands in question, but, you get the idea if you’re at all familiar with the canon, South Island has all the zones from Sonic 1 (16 and 8 Bit), Sonic Chaos and Sonic 2 (8-bit), Westside Island has all the zones from Sonic 2 and a couple from Sonic Mania, Angel Island has all the Zones from Sonic 3 & Knuckles, North Island is essentially a fusion of all the different Eggman Zones (Crystal Egg, Sleeping Egg, Scrap Brain, Metropolis, Eggmanland, Robotropolis, Robotnik Winter, the zones from SegaSonic the Hedgehog, etc.), Flicky’s Island has all of the zones from Sonic 3D Blast, Cocoa Island has all the zones from Tails Skypatrol and Tails Adventure, Mirage Island has all the zones from Sonic 4 and also Never Lake, and Little Planet (and hence all the zones from Sonic CD) you get the idea.

I’m unsure what exactly Eastside Island would have on it, but I figured that Sonic games have so many zones and levels across so many games, surely something would find a nice home on that island, perhaps some of the zones from Sonic Mania, Sonic Blast, maybe even the Adventure games, who knows? But, inevitably, space is going to run out on those other islands and we’ll likely have zones or locations that’ll be good for the series to have.

And then, we also have a mainland sprinkled with City. This is where your Adventure/Modern style cities are, Station Square, City Escape, that sort of thing.

It may not seem like much, considering some Sonic games have settings that span entire planets, but when you think about how many zones are crammed into a few little islands in the genesis titles alone, it’s hardly a limited setting.

The natives of this island chain would be Mobians and Mobini. Mobians are your typical Sonic characters, your Sonics, your Tailses, your Knuckleses, and so on and so forth. They’re the more humanoid animals. Mobini, on the other hand would be all of the smaller animals, the kind that Sonic frees from badniks or are just knockin about doing little woodland creature things. For more information on Mobini, I’ve included a little blip about them in the ‘Side Protagonists’ part of this little shanty ‘pitch guide’.

Humans would live on the mainland, although some researchers and scientists would visit the Archipelago every so often because of it’s mysterious ‘new frontier’ kind of appeal, even if Mobians find their research a little weird.

Generally, Humans also keep to the mainland, and Mobians keep to their islands, but, make no mistake, Mobians and Humans don’t hate each other. Some Mobians and Mobini have taken to the urban lifestyle, whereas some humans have taken to the natural wonder of the Archipelago, starting environmentally friendly cities and towns in the sleepy groves and corners of this untamed wilderness.

This Archipelago would be the point of focus for our Main Characters because, well, it’s their native home, and it’d draw our Main Villains because this island is also home to the Seven Chaos Emeralds, and their Master Emerald.

The Chaos Emeralds are the main MacGuffins of the Sonic series, and for good reason! Gathering all seven of these things grants their holder infinite access to chaos energy, a kind of force that will turn their thoughts into power, whether positive or negative. While most Mobians would prefer to leave the Chaos Emeralds alone, due to them causing, well, chaos, villains seek these gems out on purpose so that they can easier accomplish their goals. However, if a hero were to gather all seven chaos emeralds, and had enough purity, desire for good, and strength in their heart, the emeralds will grant them immense power, too.

Upon a vast amount of energy being used however, the Emeralds will scatter across the Archipelago, waiting for their next holders to come, and initiate chaos once more.

And then, there’s the Master Emerald. The Master Emerald is very similar to the Chaos Emeralds, and contains tenfold the amount of energy of a full set of Chaos Emeralds, but also acts as an on/off switch for the Chaos Emeralds. The Master Emerald can completely drain the Chaos Emeralds of their power, or multiply their power exponentially if one knows how to control it, making the Master Emerald incredibly valuable too. However, villains usually tend to opt for the Chaos Emeralds instead, not only because legends of the Master Emerald are believed to be false, or even if it is real, no one knows how to control it, but the Master Emerald is also said to have a guardian. A very, very angry guardian.

There’s also the lesser-known Time Stones.

The Time Stones reside on Little Planet, an anomalous celestial body that appears only once every year over Never Lake on Mirage Island. These stones seemed to have formed in a similar fashion to the Chaos Emeralds, but rather than bending SPACE to the will of their holders, the Time Stones will instead, bend Time. The Time Stones, for this reason, are even more dangerous than the Chaos Emeralds and are responsible for many of the temporal anomalies within the Archipelago. Due to their danger, the Time Stones see much more infrequent use than the Chaos Emeralds, and keeping them on Little Planet as opposed to bringing them to the surface of the Earth is much safer, as the Time Stones will only seemingly affect the time stream of Little Planet and not the Earth.

The Time Stones won’t matter until later in the series when Sonic and Co. start tampering with time, and for a while, the focus will remain on the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald.

But enough about where Sonic lives, let’s look at him and the rest of our colorful main cast, shall we?

Main Protagonists

Hooh, boy I am not gonna make many friends with this decision, am I?

This is kinda where my reboot starts to get a lot little tiny bit more personal, but, I have reasoning behind picking who I pick. The characters I’d pick to be the main protagonists, as in the characters that the viewers of the cartoon series, readers of the comic, or players of the games are going to be:

A) Playing as

B) Rooting for

C) Following throughout most of the adventures.

are as follows:

Sonic the Hedgehog

Miles “Tails” Prower

Knuckles the Echidna

Amy Rose

Mighty the Armadillo

Ray the Flying Squirrel

The first two seem obvious enough, Sonic and Tails are the two spotlight protagonists of most Sonic games and are the two chief playable characters in most games of the Genesis Era. Knuckles should come as no surprise either for the same reason, although I’ll touch on Knuckles later when I assess the protagonists on an individual level. 

I chose Amy as one of the leads because, well, Amy frankly hasn’t seen that much time in the sun as a true character, and I feel like that’s a shame given her longevity in the series, being with us ever since CD. Her most complex appearance was in Sonic Adventure 1 and even then, she’s kinda reduced to the same traits as her white-bread, palid, boring, Genesis counterpart. While I would like to have another female character so Amy isn’t a ‘token chick’, I don’t really want to shake up the formula too much.

Mighty and Ray are a little bit different. With the release of Sonic Mania Plus though, I feel that Mighty and Ray are more relevant now than they ever were, and considering their placement as main characters in Mania Plus, I think that we could really benefit from their addition to the main lineup of Sonic’s friends! Sure, Mighty and Ray don’t have much personality, but maybe this is where we can change that and give these lost stars a chance to sparkle as main characters after spending so long in the shadows of the past!

However, I do wanna state, that I understand if some people feel Mighty and Ray are irrelevant. I get that, really, I do. It’s one of the things in this projected reboot that I feel is much more personally appealing to me than it is ‘what I think is best for the Sonic franchise’. Put plain and simple, Mighty and Ray are just... not as popular as other Sonic characters. And, adding these two to the roster of main characters means that the main character count skyrockets from an easily manageable 4 to 6, which can seem like a bit much to some people I’ll agree, and means that they’ll likely see more screentime than other popular protagonist characters like Cream, Silver or even Blaze. But, at the same time, I also feel that if they’re popular enough to be included in Sonic Mania Plus, then there at least is some interest in the fan community of them being relevant, regular characters again. And, what better niche for them to fit into than being two of Sonic’s close friends again while going on adventures with him regularly?

(Side note, I also felt like including Sticks as a main character, and I may come back to that idea later if I end up making any content for this reboot, but as it stands I felt 7 main characters were just a bit too much, although it would’ve been cool to have a character for each Chaos Emerald, and I think there are a lot of real, genuine comedic possibilities, as well as some unique action choreography from her.)

I also don’t think Sonic’s design or the design of his friends need to be changed around too terribly much for a reboot? (Although there are some characters I think could benefit from a rework, but Sonic and MOST of the main characters are okay imo) There’s a lot of contention on Sonic’s design in any sense but, personally? I think Sonic’s designs can actually be pretty well unified, all things considered. I think Sonic could benefit from a few design ADJUSTMENTS, but maybe not a full-scale redesign like Sonic Boom.

For instance, these early concepts for Dreamcast Sonic are an excellent starting place, as I feel they capture the spirit of all three versions of Sonic pretty well all things considered, save for their quills being a little long. the proportions on them are a little off, however, with a couple of adjustments, I think this could actually be a really good idea.

Nendoroid Sonic is also pretty close to what I think a unified Sonic design could look like, if someone held a gun to my head and told me to pick an ideal new design for Sonic, it’d probably be very close to this.

(Credit to JaysonJeanChannel on DA for this render of Nendoroid Sonic.)

Or, even moving back a little bit, “Toei Sonic“, although kind of overrated in my opinion, is a really nice compromise between the cutesy, cartoony nature of the original versions of Sonic, while still updating Sonic to be more obviously sleek, sharp and spring-loaded for his modern audiences, and is full of personality. That’s not to say I think Toei Sonic should be the new face of Sonic the Hedgehog for years to come, but it’d be a great starting point to work from, given that Toei is a version of Sonic suited for intense, rubberhosy, slippery animations.

In the end, the only thing that truly matters is that Sonic looks like Sonic, and not like a weird little blue goblin if the backlash on the first pass of the Sonic Movie is any indication? We shouldn’t try to fix what isn’t broken, I just think that maybe trying out a hybrid between classic and modern Sonic to see how people feel about it might be a nice compromise between those who prefer Classic Sonic vs. those who prefer Modern or Adventure Sonic, again, unification, the best of both worlds.

That being said, let’s have a look-see into each character individually, shall we? For this, I’ll give a name, my projected voice actor for them, and a little blurb about their personality, as well as a short list of their abilities.

I’ll also try to justify my reasons for some stuff that people may consider odd after all of the character bios.

Sonic the Hedgehog:

Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz/James Arnold Taylor

Sonic is heroic, ambitious, and a complete adrenaline junkie. He'll take on any challenge that's given to him in the history of forever, even if absolutely knows it's impossible or he could get hurt trying to do it or he's absolutely not skilled enough at what he's doing to do it. Hence, Sonic is extremely competitive and gets easily absorbed in things he does, even around friends. Sonic tends to not look before he leaps as he's able to get himself out of situations so easily, preferring to live on his feet without thinking too hard about anything, although he's not dumb by any stretch of the imagination and will slow down and strategize if he absolutely needs to, and will always be willing to slow down for someone in need. Sonic is cocky, snarky, and believes a little too much in himself, he has an ego the size of the sun and will do anything he has to protect his image, especially how he views himself. Sonic also has an incredible amount of attitude and makes fun of people he doesn't like or thinks deserve it with insulting nicknames or cruel jokes, often being sarcastic and witty even at the worst of times to be. Although Sonic tries as hard as he can to keep his cool a lot of the time and prefers to live without consequences or regrets on his mind, when he's angry, sometimes he can lash out at people and can become downright completely rude when upset. Sonic is also something of a juvenile delinquent, often breaking rules just because he can or he thinks it's fun or funny, which often gets him into trouble. Sonic EXTREMELY Dislikes being called 'slow' or things being faster than he is (often wanting to prove his mettle against whatever is faster than him even if it hurts him), and has even less patience for slowing down unless he absolutely has to. He hates to wait and hates to be kept waiting, oftentimes getting bored and leaving in mere seconds if a situation doesn't matter that much to him, although he's known to show much, much more patience when people are hurt, or upset, and has an affinity for relaxing for long periods of time with friends after lengthy expeditions and adventures. Sonic hates to see innocent people cry or have their feelings hurt and will often get  extremely upset at the cause depending on the person/situation, and believes that any situation he can tend to is important (as he often can do things so quickly it's often no trouble for him.) 

Abilities:

Insta-Shield (Allows Sonic to deflect incoming projectiles with precise timing. This also extends Sonic’s hitbox a bit so it can inflict damage, and gives him invincibility frames!)

Wall Jump (Sonic can wall jump, but they need to be timed properly, as when Sonic lands on a wall, he’ll begin to slide, sliding down a wall for too long will cause Sonic to slip and eventually fall.)

Super Spin Dash (Sonic can rev his spin dash up much faster and much more efficiently than other characters, Sonic’s spin dash also has higher maximum propulsion, and will break walls much quicker.)

Super Peel Out

Light Dash (Using the light dash on a trail of rings will allow Sonic to pick up vast amounts of speed instantly by traveling along a trail of rings, being slingshotted out of the trail at an intense speed, the longer the trail of rings is, the faster he’ll be when he comes out of the trail, but also the more vulnerable he’ll be when he’s flung out of the trail. Sonic can also easily reclaim his fallen rings by light dashing, but there’s no guarantee you won’t go flying into the hazard you just tried to avoid when you do.)

Can use the abilities of elemental shields

Miles "Tails" Prower: 

Voice Actor: Collen Villard 

Tails is Sonic's closest friend. Tails is very intelligent and is something of an amateur technician, roboticist and mechanic, although he specializes in work with aircrafts, small-scale robotics, and computer systems. Frequently he prefers a much slower, methodical approach to problems as opposed to rushing into everything headfirst like Sonic does. Often relies on his intuition over instinct. Tails feels he and Sonic hold a kind of 'mutual responsibility' over each other to keep each other safe, hence Tails keeps Sonic out of trouble or from doing things that are REALLY REALLY stupid, but most of the time, Tails likes to indulge in Sonic's antics with him and even enjoys being kind of silly or being a rebel with him. Tails really looks up to Sonic and wants to have the same kind of respect, cool and wit that he does, however, in doing this, because of his low self-esteem, Tails will often ignore a lot of his more positive traits and attempt to mimic Sonic instead in an effort to seem 'cool', which can really make him do some out-of-place or seemingly strange things at times when he doesn't mean it because he can be a little shy to be himself. Tails is a firmly humble inventor and often attributes his successes to the support of others more often than his own work, and he will not ever invent anything for the purpose of competing with someone or for the sake of jealousy, believing that his best work comes from his heart.

Abilities:

Flying (This would be nerfed significantly from Sonic Mania and S3&K so Tails couldn’t just fly over everything. Tails’ gameplay should encourage exploration in more ways than just one.)

Spin Dash

Tinkering (Allows Tails to reverse conveyor belts, turn off sawblades, and do other shit to help him get through mechanical levels.)

Ring Bomb (Short range projectile at the cost of rings, explodes in a small radius)

Remote Robot (Allows Tails to explore places he can’t otherwise get to at the cost of 1 ring per second)

Knuckles the Echidna: 

Voice Actor: Dan Green 

The key word to Knuckles is STRESS. Knuckles is the guardian of the Master Emerald, and boy does he take his job seriously, being the very last living Mobian Echidna, and being very in-tune with his family and extended tribe's history. He has an inherent connection with the Master Emerald that allows him to sense it's location, wherever it might be, if this feeling of his is tampered with only slightly, it sends Knuckles into an incredible, panicked rage that can only be quelled by returning the gem to where he left it, or by retrieving the gemstone from whoever stole or moved it. He will only leave the emerald alone for long periods of time once he is one-hundred percent confident no one will touch it or move it (and even then he oftentimes gets worried about it anyway) and hence, interacts with Team Sonic on a more infrequent basis because of this (although he still has plenty of moments dedicated to him.) However, when not guarding the Emerald and forced to loosen up and relax, one can find that Knuckles is rather stoic and full of quote en quote 'sage-advice' (or rather stuff that seems and can be profound but can also be kind of insane ramblings from someone who spends too much time alone with some rock.) He often doesn't understand Sonic's more urban lifestyle, preferring his more traditional, simple 'off the fat of the land' kind of life, but he's surprisingly receptive to new things (unless said new thing gets the emerald stolen of course.) Knuckles is also incredibly suspicious and paranoid of people, even believing people he's close to having the capability of turning on him, and because of this, he's incredibly gullible when it comes to people 'changing' or 'turning evil' or 'wanting to take the Master Emerald', although he's usually smart enough to not fall for the same trick twice... or at least, not for a while after it happens once. Because of his ability to be tricked so easily, and because tricking him often leads to bad things, Knuckles' temper and patience are very short, and very small things easily can make him very upset. Knuckles actually has a weakness for romance, being such a lonely soul, he often gets shy and acts noticeably different (read: Happier) around people that can charm him, but often won't admit it.

Abilities:

Gliding

Climbing

Spin Dash

Burrowing (works sort of like the burrow mechanic from Sonic Adventure 1 and 2, except Knuckles can remain and move underground for a bit to be invincible, although this ability is very limited and cannot be done on metal or synthetic flooring.)

Melee Attacks (Knuckles can punch things in a short range, nuff said.)

Amy Rose: 

Voice Actor: Kristen Schaal 

Amy is positive, bubbly, loud and honestly kind of a silly airhead sometimes. Although at first, it seems there's very little to her, there's actually a lot more to her than her outward appearance would suggest. Amy tends to not judge people by their looks or by their behaviors, and is very open-minded and emotional, often getting choked up over things she really doesn't need to. Amy is also pretty selfless, willing to help people without any benefit to herself or any reason besides being a good person, although that's not to say she just lets people walk all over her. Amy is also something of a social butterfly, having connections with about everyone anyone else even remotely knows, and can easily tell you all about them and will want you to meet them upon even the mention of their name. Her inherent energy makes her a lot to deal with at once, even people like Sonic, Tails, and Mighty can get tired of her very quickly, even if it's very clear that she means well. She also makes for a great therapist and is willing to help anyone with problems they might be having, even if they push her away at first. However, Amy isn't all the girly girl she seems sometimes and has kind of a violent edge, anyone who pushes her around or says anything bad about her friends is gonna get walloped with her hammer, and believe me, you don't ever quite forget a feeling like being Piko'd by Amy Rose. On this note, Amy also kinda... doesn't know her own strength, and can seem stronger than Knuckles, or even Mighty at times because she just absolutely does not know her limits, expect lots of spine-crushing hugs.

Abilities:

Triple Jump (Amy can jump three times in succession, however, each jump significantly degrades in height boost. Her normal jump will go the highest and her third jump will go the lowest. Because of this ability, Amy also does not spin when she jumps, meaning she can’t defeat Badniks or damage enemies by jumping on them, she won’t take damage from bouncing on them, it just won’t destroy them.)

Hammer Smash (A mid-range melee attack that will destroy most enemies instantly.)

Hammer Spin (Both an Aerial attack to make up for the fact Amy can’t spin jump and a dash attack to make up for the fact Amy can’t spin dash.)

Peel Out (Functions similarly to the peel out in Sonic Advance or Sonic 2: Pink Edition, replaces the Spin Dash.)

Mighty the Armadillo: 

Voice Actor: Beck Bennett/Travis Willingham 

Mighty is one of Sonic's oldest friends and is his foil in a lot of ways. He prefers to take his time with a lot of things and doesn't really mind going slow. Mighty is something of a 'meathead', he's naive, and kinda absentminded at times, even if he doesn't mean to be. Mighty is very strong and takes incredible pride in his abilities much like Sonic. He adores his own strength and quote en quote 'manliness' and will do anything to keep his ego inflated and his muscles bigger than everyone else's' (as opposed to Knuckles who views his strength as a humble reward for his years of training). Despite this, he has a very brotherly (read: dudebro) sense of personality though and likes to call people 'bro' and 'sis', and has a habit of saying 'not cool' when things don't go right or when people wrong him. Most of the time, Mighty's slow and naive ways can make him easily influenced into believing things (like conspiracies and the idea protein powder actually does things), and he's not afraid to speak his mind, often coming off as insensitive (which is how he got kicked out of Team Chaotix), when really, he just doesn't happen to know any better, although most of the time he really does mean well. Mighty also really likes to hear himself talk, oftentimes telling long-winded stories or going on long-winded rants or explanations. He tends to butt heads with Sonic and Knuckles, who get annoyed sometimes by his easygoing, borderline dim-witted nature, oftentimes reminding him of obvious things that are happening/have happened. However, Mighty greatly cares for his friends, and the one thing he absolutely will never bend on is he will not ever hurt someone who didn't do him wrong, and despite his naivety, Mighty's incredible sense of justice always triumphs over his unassuming nature. He's also Ray's best friend and will defend Ray over any other person.

Abilities:

Natural Armor (Allows Mighty to take one free hit from spikes, and defeat spiked enemies without being harmed. If a projectile hits Mighty while he’s spinning or jumping, the projectile will bounce off of his armor. This is only while Mighty is spinning, attacks from the back or while Mighty is running will still land.)

Hammer Drop (A ‘stomp’ attack that allows Mighty to crush most Badniks instantly, and will also instantly crush breakable objects and solid blocks much faster than other characters.)

Spin Dash

Mighty Arm (If Mighty presses an action button near an enemy, monitor or breakable item, Mighty will pick it up. While picking something up, Mighty will move slower and his jump will be downgraded, but he can throw the item to deal heavy damage to whatever it hits! And, picking up certain enemies or items may just come with some surprises!)

Super Wall Jump (Mighty can wall-jump much like Sonic, but upon sticking to the wall, Mighty will hang there, and will only slide down at the player’s discretion.)

Ray the Flying Squirrel: 

Voice Actor: Debi Derryberry 

Ray is neat, quiet, shy, easily disturbed and has a bit of a stutter to his voice. Ray tends to be sort of asocial compared to other members of Team Sonic and prefers not to get in the way if he thinks he's being a bother. However, despite this, Ray is much smarter than he might seem and has a level of resourcefulness to a point that even trumps Tails (who is much more intelligent) at times. Despite being so shy and cowardly, when he gets the chance, Ray is more than willing to do whatever it takes for the greater good, even if he's afraid to do so. Mighty is his best friend, and he gets obsessively worried about Mighty when he's not around, often worrying that he's wandered off or might have been hurt, kidnapped, etc. this often leads to Ray trying to find his friend or panicking that he's 'gone missing', even if Mighty was right under his nose the whole time, ironic, given his intuition and incredibly eagle-eyed nature. Much like Mighty as well, Ray can also be a little bit naive, although usually less so than Mighty himself.

Abilities:

Soaring (Ray will glide and can sweep upwards to gain height at a cost of speed, but also dip downwards to gain speed at a cost of height.)

Lite-Climbing (Ray can climb, and he can climb much faster than Knuckles, but players will need to position themselves carefully, as Ray can’t climb forever, and will eventually slip and fall, the more speed Ray has when Ray collides with the wall, the faster and longer he can climb it.)

Scout-Sense (Ray is able to detect hidden items nearby like Giant Rings, 1up Monitors, and power-ups, once Ray moves close enough to an item, an exclamation point will appear above his head, and the item he notices will be outlined in yellow.)

Dismantle (With similar timing to Sonic’s insta-shield, Ray can choose to land on a badnik instead of destroying it (even if he lands on something like a Shellcracker’s claw or Bubbles when spiked out), and he will begin to unscrew the badnik until it breaks. This rewards Ray with rings or more hidden items, and can make tricky badniks like Asteron and Shellcracker more bearable to deal with! This also works on bosses, except dismantling a boss will only cause a hit of damage to the boss, although Ray can stay latched on to deal multiple hits of damage if he isn’t knocked off!)

Hookay, if you’re not winded by all those character bios, let me try to explain some of my reasoning. I won’t be doing this with later characters because this post is already the size of a fucking dump truck, but, here we go anyway.

Yes. I chose Ben Schwartz over Roger Craig Smith and Jason Griffith for Sonic. No. I don’t hate Jason Griffith or Roger Craig Smith’s voices for Sonic. Yes, I realize Ben is going to play Sonic in the Movie. I know. But, you know what? I think Ben is the perfect person to play Sonic, he’s able to inflect a real smarmy teenager vibe and I DO like that a LOT. But Ben can also play a deeper or moodier teenager too, and I feel like that’s important for Sonic’s character just as much. Jason Griffith and Roger Craig Smith make a 15-year-old sound like he’s 24. Moving on.

I think Sonic needs to not be such a prep sometimes like he is in Colors, Generations, and Forces. Like, I get that Sonic is all about doing the right thing, but, Sonic is also a smarty-pants delinquent who disrespects authority because he can. There’s this great video on the design analysis of City Escape from Sonic Adventure 2 that shows just how much of a jerk Sonic is toward people he doesn’t care for, and how he feels about obeying rules and regulations. I feel being an asshole toward people he doesn’t like, is part of Sonic’s character, it’s just we need to make him an asshole in the right direction. Sonic can be a Bugs Bunny if we let him, it’s just that it shouldn’t be completely overblown... otherwise, we get STC Sonic.

Tails needs to do more things, and not sit on the sidelines like he does in Unleashed, Colors, and Forces. He does things in Sonic Adventure and Sonic Boom, hence this version of Tails is based more on those versions OF Tails. I don’t hate Unleashed and Colors Tails, but I feel the objectively superior version of Tails comes more from Boom (who I also feel captures all of the good things about Modern Tails ANYWAY) and Adventure (which is Tails at his most resourceful, intelligent and helpful.)

Knuckles needs to be not stupid. We can make other characters stupid, but Knuckles is not stupid, Mania made Knuckles stupid and I hate that because it’s never been who Knuckles is. Sure, he’s a bit of a dense knucklehead, but he’s not dumb, just dense, which is my problem with Boom Knuckles. There’s more to his reasons for why he does things the way he does than he doesn’t know better. He’s stubborn, he’s prone to anger, he’s traditional and very much centered on the past he never had, he worries, he panics. I don’t think Boom Knuckles is a bad character, I just think making KNUCKLES the character to get this personality was kind of a bad idea. 

Amy just needs a better-developed personality. Seriously, she’s, already kinda set in stone in terms of who she is, it just needs to be expanded upon. But, Amy kinda already has the groundwork laid out for her with Boom and Modern, it’s just it needs to be molded a little bit.

Mighty comes from the classic era, and he, therefore, has no real, defining personality traits besides being a wall-jumping armadillo. I think Mighty could easily inherit Boom Knux’s personality, (as I feel a character named ‘Mighty’ would have kind of a strongman, meathead personality) but maybe changed up a bit. Instead of being just, dumb, I think Mighty being more oblivious than just stupid is better, plus, at any one time, most of the characters in-game or onscreen are able to deduce what’s going on instantly, having Mighty be a contrast to that is interesting. I also think a slow, easygoing lifestyle is kinda befitting to the Mighty we’ve seen recently, given that he doesn’t seem to emote all that much when Ray finally finds him after he’s been missing for, well, a good while, and doesn’t seem to know his own strength all the time. The only other information I know about Mighty is that he doesn’t like to fight all that much and he’s similar to Sonic, so I tried to include aspects of Sonic in his personality, but also make him kind where he can be.

If Ray’s SegaSonic sprites are anything to go by, Ray just might be a little bit of a scaredy-cat. And, I think this would make for an interesting dynamic between Ray and the rest of the team, he’d make a nice Luigi to everyone’s Mario, a character who is afraid, but willing to set aside his fears for the greater good and even for himself. He’d also be #relatable to the stressed-out teenage and young adult audience he’d be appealing to. 

Side Protagonists

Here are my choices for side-protagonists in this reboot. These are ‘friendly characters’, characters that the main 6 characters regularly interact with, but are just not focused on as much. These characters would probably not be playable (except for Silver and Blaze MAYBE.)

The Mobini

Espio the Chameleon

Charmy Bee

Vector the Crocodile

Cream the Rabbit (and Cheese the Chao)

Big the Cat (and Froggy)

Silver the Hedgehog

Blaze the Cat

Now, I know what you’re thinking.

wHerE’s TeaM DaRK?!

Just, chill out..., okay? I’ll get to Team Dark in a minute.

I’d also like to clarify if this became a series, Silver and Blaze are probably not going to become relevant characters until much LATER in? I feel like Silver and Blaze should be saved for a very specific time in the reboot’s continuity and I’ll explain that later when we get into how I’d set this series’s continuity up, but there’s a very specific reason why I want to save Silver and Blaze for when the time is right, not because I hate Silver and Blaze, but because I think it’d make the most sense.

I also feel like the Chaotix should appear a lot more and play more of an active role in this new hypothetical reboot than they do in most modern Sonic games... and let’s make them a team of vigilantes instead of detectives. A team of vigilantes that uses TEAMWORK!... And combi-rings!

...Oh and while we’re here, let’s make Cheese a Hero Chao, mkay?

But enough talk about general things! Let’s dive into each of them individually!

The Mobini:

Voice Actor: Various, it’s likely mobini won’t need voices so much as varying sound effects.

The Mobini are the local, native, feral fauna of the world of this new Sonic reboot, all your normal birds, insects, lizards, fish, mammals, et cetera are all Mobini. Mobini, are mysterious creatures, as they harbor an inherent connection to the Chaos Emeralds, and are believed to contain small fractions of the Emeralds’ infinite energy. The Mobini are what first drew Dr. Eggman to the Archipelago in which South Island resides, as with this small portion of infinite energy within them, they can be used as organic batteries to power machines indefinitely!... Although this makes them very unhappy. Contrary to what you may think, Mobini are actually sentient, and remember friendly faces... and unfriendly ones too, so be kind! If you’re ever in trouble or lost in the sprawling forests of the Mobius Archipelago, Mobini may just be able to help you out. The most curious kind of Mobini are Flickies, small little birds native to Flicky’s Island and South Island (although they’ve seemed to branch out more recently), who are said to have an even closer connection to the Emeralds, and can even hold a super form! The phenomenon of Super Flickies is incredibly rare, but when it happens, Super Flickies will be more than willing to lend their power to someone who needs it.

Chao are a special type of genetically unstable Mobini that have no ‘Earthly’ counterpart. From the time a Chao is born to the time they pass away, a Chao will gain the traits of its parent, it’s friends, and or it’s caregiver. This makes Chao ideal pets, as their personality will adapt to suit their owner, this makes Chao not only incredibly diverse but surprisingly intelligent. Just be kind to Chao... you don’t want to know what kind of horror being unkind to these little creatures can lead to.

Espio the Chameleon:

Voice Actor: Phil LaMarr

The de-facto leader of the Chaotix, and the most responsible of the team, Espio is a lot quieter than most of the main cast, and much prefers the sound of a rushing, serene stream over loud, punchy rock music. With a powerful, free-flowing fighting style inspired by martial arts, Espio is an honorable fighter, believing only in fighting fair and straight and without exploiting an opponent’s extreme weaknesses. While he tends to be sort of reclusive and becomes easily annoyed by the antics of the Chaotix and Team Sonic, he’s a lot more unshakable than he looks, and actually kind of likes the excitement from time to time. He also has a long, sticky tongue which he happens to be embarrassed by, but sees more use as a tool than he’d like to admit. Espio will often dictate his mood or state of mind to people by changing his color.

Espio’s weapons of choice are giant shuriken, which he seems to be able to pull out of hammerspace.

Abilities:

Color changing

Partial Invisibility (Espio can cloak himself to appear invisible, as long as he stands still and isn’t connected to anything. This ability sees more frequent use when Espio is alone, as it doesn’t really apply much when he fights with his team.)

Combi-Ring Fighting Style

Tornado Spin (Similar to Sonic’s Spin Dash, except Espio spins horizontally instead of vertically, the tornado spin is very slow compared to the Spin Dash, but it’s just as deadly.)

Tongue (Much like Yoshi, Espio’s tongue can be used to grapple onto things with a surprising amount of force, either to pull them toward Espio, or Espio can ‘tongue punch’ things. He hates to do this.)

Charmy Bee:

Voice Actor: Sam Lavagnino (Ideally anyway, I understand if he’d be unable to, but imagine it! Catbug as Charmy Bee!)

A ‘junior member’ of the Chaotix, Charmy is a little bee in training to become a vigilante! However, he’s a little too excited about that fact sometimes. He’s meant to be cute and lovable, but also a realistic child fighting against things he probably shouldn’t be fighting against. It’s hard to hate him when he means so well though and tries his very best at anything he does. In this new reboot, Charmy also gains a small affliction toward electricity!

Abilities:

Flight (no duh.)

Combi-Ring Fighting Style (Charmy is surprisingly adept at carrying his fellow Chaotix members around with a Combi-Ring in hand, with Charmy around this can make for some high-octane, high-momentum fighting due to Charmy being so lightweight and quick.)

Volt Sting (Charmy can use his stinger, and believe me, it hurts. Fortunately, Charmy can sting more than once! and his sting will deliver an electric shock to anything it touches, this is bad news for anything mechanical, or wet!)

Thunder Shoot (Charmy can instantly ground any flying enemy by electrifying an ally and tossing them at the flying enemy!)

Vector the Crocodile:

Voice Actor: Keith Silverstein (Although I’m open to someone else if everyone else if sick of FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM!)

The Chaotix’s greedy, but fiercely defensive ‘leader’ (he’s able to make tough decisions a lot better than Espio, but he isn’t very responsible in many ways). Vector got into the whole vigilante business because of the money he could gain from it, but after meeting Charmy and Espio, his whole world changed, and the rough-and-tough reptile has found a new calling, being a leader. Although Vector is often harsh, blunt, and dismissive, he’s also incredibly resourceful and has an eye for small details, so if he does push you away, it’s likely because he has a hunch on something related to it.

Abilities:

Air Dash (Vector can dash in any direction while in the air. This does not protect him from harm.)

Death Roll (Vector’s trademark donut-like Spin Dash, it’s a bit less controllable than a traditional Spin Dash but it’s immensely powerful because of Vector’s spiked back.)

Combi-Ring Fighting Style (Vector specializes in a ‘wrecking ball’ sort of display with his fighting style, performing a Death Roll followed by his opponents flinging him into something by way of Thunder Shoot or Espio’s speed.) Vector can also achieve the same effect by flinging Charmy or Espio into an opponent, or by ‘holding’ (think Knuckles Chaotix) them.

Fire Combination + Volcanic Dunk* (While Espio is tornado spinning and Charmy is spinning as well, Vector can grab the both of them to make ‘fighting gloves’ of sorts. With this, Vector can perform the Volcanic Dunk, in which he turns Espio and Charmy into powerful fireballs which can smash into enemies to deal tremendous damage!)

*Yes I know this is what Team Sonic uses in Sonic Heroes but do you honestly want Vector Breath to be something that’s regularly used?

Cream the Rabbit (and Cheese the Chao):

Voice Actor: Michelle Ruff (I’d list a voice actor for Cheese too but... do I HAVE to? Chao can be easily voiced with stock squeaks or Chao sounds from SA2.)

A pleasant little girl who seems to get caught up in the ongoing war between Sonic and the forces of evil. Like Charmy, she’s a kid, although Cream is much more patient and polite than Charmy. Cream in this reboot would sorta fill the niche that Tails filled in SatAM, rarely going on adventures, but looking up to the main cast and always being ready to support them in times of need.

Abilities:

Flapping (Cream can flap her ears to gain a little extra height, although it’s made very clear this isn’t exactly equal to Tails’ flight and is very limited.)

Cheese (Cream can sic Cheese on anything she wants, although Cheese isn’t very tough, he’ll do his best until he’s knocked away!)

Big the Cat (and Froggy):

Voice Actor: Jon St. John

Big is large, and not very bright, even less so than Mighty. But he’s terrifyingly strong, he may just be one of the strongest characters in this new reboot in terms of raw damage output, probably second only to Omega actually. But, Big’s not a fighter and prefers to spend his days by the lakeside, fishing with his companion Froggy.

Unbeknownst to him, though, Froggy harbors a dark secret, and, in fact, is the current owner of the tail of the ancient God of Destruction, Chaos. How Froggy exactly came upon Chaos’ tail is unknown, but it’s gotten Big and Froggy into trouble before.

Abilities:

Super Strength

Fishing Sense (Big can sense what kind of fish or how many fish, or even foreign objects or other animals are in bodies of water. It’s unknown how he does or knows this, but he does.)

Silver the Hedgehog:

Voice Actor: Scott Menville

Silver is from an alternate future, a long-forgotten timeline in which Robotnik succeeded in conquering the world, But his massive cities and factories were later laid waste to by the sands of time, and ancient forces of nature, throwing the future Silver resides within into complete Crisis. And now, filled with a sense of vengeance and justice, Silver has come back to the past, determined to find the one responsible for whoever did this to his future, but... there’s just a couple problems. 

He’s only fourteen years old.

Silver is also rather bright-eyed and gullible, and him messing with the streams of time might have a bigger domino effect than he realizes, even if he has no intention of messing anything up.

Abilities:

Psychokinesis (Silver can move, and throw objects with his mind. Silver’s telekinesis is limited only by his focus and stress, as if Silver gets too stressed, he may release some of the objects he’s holding, the same goes for if he becomes unfocused. Using said telekinesis can make Silver very physically exhausted though, especially if Silver moves HIMSELF with his mind, which he can do to hover in the air for a while. Objects held by Silver will freeze, suspended in whatever state they were in when Silver grabbed them, and the objects Silver holds are denoted by a cyan aura.)

Psychic Knives (Silver can condense his energy into crescent-shaped blades of energy, which he can fire off at his discretion, again, only limited by his physical exhaustion)

Teleportation (Silver has the limited ability to teleport short distances, although he doesn’t seem to have a very good handle on it, as he often messes up his positioning and seems to almost... forget he can do it?)

Blaze the Cat:

Voice Actor: Tara Strong

Like Silver, Blaze is from an alternate future. Blaze is Silver’s best friend, but also kind of a sisterly figure to him. Blaze is older than Silver, and is much more reserved, mature and wary than Silver is, although she’s still more than happy to help Silver, and ensure a good future for both him and herself. Blaze is proud, trying to make the best out of her situation by trying and believing herself to be the best around, in a way, she sort of views Silver more like a sidekick, even if Silver does tend to pull his weight.

Abilities:

Pyrokinesis (Blaze can summon, control and is immune to fire. Her ability to do so is limited, although her fires are known to become more intense whenever Blaze is enraged. Blaze can use her fire either for offense by spraying jets of flame from her hands, or defensively by cloaking her entire body in flame, or using the power of fire to float for short periods of time.)

Tornado Spin (Like Espio, Blaze tends to spin horizontally rather than vertical, this, combined with her pyrokinesis, makes her incredibly fearsome to deal with.)

Main Antagonists

You know what the fuck’s going on already. These are all my picks for Major Villains in the reboot. The big bads. The guys who are gonna come in and try to take all those Chaos Emeralds and Time Stones and shit I was talking about and wreak havoc on the peaceful Mobius Archipelago.

They are as follows:

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik

Orbot and Cubot

Metal Sonic

Heavy King (And the Hard-Boiled Heavies)

Great Battle Bird Kukku XV

Chaos

Emerl

Mephiles, Iblis, and Solaris

In the end, it was hard to decide on what villains to choose to be big bads, Sonic has so many good ones, but this is what it all bled down to eventually. I feel kinda like Dragon Ball Z or... like, any fucking action anime or cartoon ever tbh. I wanted to give some more underrated villains a chance to shine like Kukku and Emerl, while also bringing back some old favorites like Chaos and Mephiles.

...ALSO, I’M GONNA GET TO TEAM DARK DON’T WORRY!

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik:

Voice Actor: Mike Pollock (as if there were any other choice.)

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik is the biggest bad in this reboot, as he should be. Robotnik was formerly a young, gentleman scientist, who arrived on South Island with his colleague, Dr. Madonna to study the Mobini that lived there, however, using the grant money meant for his research, and not much caring about nature himself, Robotnik instead betrayed Dr. Madonna to begin forging an empire with his own two hands, an Empire he believed would eventually be able to conquer the world. And he would’ve gotten away with it, too... if all not for a meddlesome blue hedgehog child, who REALLY liked to compare the doctor to an egg. Since his first outing against the blue blur, Dr. Robotnik tried tirelessly, day and night, to get his empire up and into the air, coming back with bigger, and better firepower each time, even succeeding in conquering South Island and collecting six of the seven chaos emeralds at one point, but he was thwarted by this blue hedgehog, and later, his friends each time. This war has gone on for over 5 years now chronologically and maybe more in the actual scheme of things, and all those years of trying have really quite nipped at the doctor, who had gained a significant amount of weight, became a social pariah and had torn all his hair out, save for his mustache, which has overgrown and has become frayed, and the doctor had taken the name ‘Eggman’ as a shallow attempt to mock the blue blur. It’s not to say that Eggman hasn’t succeeded, his conquest and lust for power had bled everywhere, his Badniks, a series of small robots built by him, are an epidemic across the archipelago, he has factories, operations, and eyes everywhere, and Robotnik eventually succeeded in taking one of the Archipelago's many islands for his own, renaming what was once ‘North Island’ into ‘Eggmanland’, this little island is only a twisted glimpse into the madness of what a world under the doctor’s control could look like, his own personal carnival of evil, smog and dust, celebrating him, and only him. It’s these little successes, as well as his never-ending stubbornness and undying believe that man can and will always triumph over nature, that has warped Dr. Eggman from a nefarious, dashing gentleman, into a balding, crazed, nasty old coot. If trouble’s brewing on the islands, and you smell smog wafting by, you can be assured Dr. Eggman isn’t very far behind. To call him a ‘mad scientist’ is an understatement, but even through his delusions and megalomania, he really is a genius.

Orbot and Cubot:

Voice Actors: Kirk Thornton, Wally Wingert

Orbot and Cubot are the Doctor’s trusted aides and second-in-lines, and... probably the Doctor’s only friends as of current. Orbot and Cubot have special AI hand-crafted by the doctor and are arguably his most advanced and most sentient creations crafted by his own two hands. Orbot is serious, intelligent, and bitingly sarcastic, as he was meant to relay information about factories, schemes, and developments back to Eggman, whereas Cubot is dim-witted, slow, and lazy, as he was more meant to perform basic duties like keeping Robotnik’s living space neat and tidy (although he doesn’t always do the best job at this.) However, Orbot and Cubot have become more than that as time has gone on. Unlike the Modern games, Orbot and Cubot can actually hold their own in combat... well, sort of. They have their own unique ‘Scratch and Grounder’ style of dealing with Sonic and Co. and they don’t usually make much progress or get much done in this regard. In this reboot I want Orbot and Cubot’s designs to be updated besides being just ‘ball’ and ‘cube’ so that they can fight alongside Eggman and just look a lot more interesting in general.

Metal Sonic:

Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz (with an intense, robotic filter) if we HAVE to give him a voice. I’d really just prefer Metal to be silent or voiced by music cues and sound effects.

Metal Sonic is Dr. Eggman’s greatest creation. Designed and built by a Dr. Eggman from the future, Metal was sent back in time to aid the Eggman of the past, this, however, proved to be a mistake, as with Metal under his belt, the Doctor became easily overconfident in his victory, thinking now that he had his supposed greatest creation to aid him, nothing could possibly stop him. 

Which made it all the more disappointing when Metal Sonic inevitably failed and was defeated by Sonic.

However, that wasn’t the end of it for Metal Sonic, after being recovered from the future on Little Planet, Metal was repaired, and sent to do reconnaissance on Sonic and Tails during their visit to Mirage Island. In the process of getting there, however, Metal absorbed an artifact while patrolling around the Lost Labyrinth Zone, which superseded the limits of Metal’s hardware, and not only restored Metal to his former greatness but gave Metal something that few of Eggman’s creations can ever claim to have. True sentience. 

Now fully aware of who he was, and what he was doing, Metal easily made it to Sonic and Tails, and upon seeing his organic counterpart for the first time in so long ever since their duel on Stardust Speedway, Metal was filled with rage. Rage, unlike anything The Mobius Archepeligo had ever seen.

The artifact has given Metal all sorts of mysterious abilities, like the ability to manifest a near-indestructible shield, the power to harness the electricity flowing through his circuits to send himself into overdrive and utilize his own overloading as a weapon, and along with being a creation of a Dr. Eggman who has seen the fall of the Earth...

Who knows what kind of sadistic, inhuman thoughts lie behind those synthetic, glowing eyes?

Abilities:

Hyperspeed Thrusters (Metal’s thrusters easily make him as fast as Sonic, and, like Sonic, Metal can still spin, although Metal can also fly with his thrusters.)

Black Shield (Metal can form a defense matrix around him using the power of the artifact he absorbed in Lost Labyrinth, the Black Shield is completely indestructible. Nothing can break through it. Not even something as powerful as Super Sonic could even crack it.) The only caveat is, using the Black Shield renders Metal completely immobile, and unable to attack, and it has a slight warmup and cooldown period.)

Overdrive (Metal can use the artifact he absorbed to utilize the electricity flowing through his circuits to send himself into Overdrive. While in overdrive, Metal Sonic’s entire body sparks with electricity, and Metal can manipulate how he uses that electricity, whether it’s to cloak himself in sparks to beef up his physical attacks or create pillars of sparks and arcs of electricity to attack foes from a distance. The only thing is, Metal cannot do this too much, as doing this can easily cause Metal to overheat, or completely overload and have a ‘blowout’... in other words, explode.)

Heavy King:

Voice Actor: Jim Cummings (Yes, I know Jim did SATAM Robotnik but that’s not the voice I’m imagining for Heavy King. Jim can do more than just Robotnik you know, even though my decision was partially influenced by it being a nice callback. Again, these voice actors are only projections.)/Barry Humphries

Heavy King used to be EggRobo, a robot (which later became a line of Robots) built in the image of Dr. Eggman himself and meant to serve as a decoy for him, and as a stand-in to carry out his own ends.

But the energy of the Phantom Ruby changed that.

Now, Heavy King is the leader of an elite squadron of his EggRobo brethren known as the Hard-Boiled Heavies. They used to serve Robotnik, before breaking free of his control and serving their own ends, beginning a new (albeit, much, much smaller) empire under their own names. He and the other heavies are a force to be reckoned with, few are able to match the ruthless, cold, metallic hand of Heavy King. Despite this, however, Heavy King is known to be much more diplomatic and reasonable than Robotnik, ironically enough, because he believes himself to be vastly superior in every way to organic life. However, his inflated ego pays a steep price if you catch him at the wrong time. However, Heavy King is the current holder of the Phantom Ruby, and that alone should scare you.

(Also I won’t go over each of the Heavies individually because I don’t feel like it, but, I will list their voice actors.)

Heavy Gunner: Patrick Warburton... or at least a cheap impression of him.

Heavy Rider: Eliza Schneider

Heavy Magician: Alexia Khadime

Heavy Shinobi: Seth Green (I picture Shinobi having much more of a nerdy weeb voice than having a serious Japanese accent like Espio.)

Great Battle Bird Kukku XV

Voice Actor: Tom Kenny

A lesser-known big bad, or rather, big bird, Great Battle Bird Kukku XV (he gets upset if you don’t say the full name), is the leader of the Battle Bird Empire, a battalion of birds who, at one point, sought to take over the archipelago in a similar manner to Dr. Eggman, however, Great Kukku XV was thwarted by Tails. Tails, funnily enough, doesn’t remember him at all, in fact, no one does. As a villain, hardly anyone takes Great Kukku XV very seriously, even with his massive armies and capability. Fact is, Great Kukku XV is just a little too immature to be a leader, and hence, he’s not very dangerous. However, his battalion did give rise to a certain, screwy, trigger happy, fellow green bomb-throwing bird who happens to be a defector of his...

In this reboot, there would probably be a lot of jokes about people not knowing who Great Kukku even is, or how dangerous he is, but don’t worry, he’ll get his time in the sun eventually. 

Chaos

Voice Actor: N/A, Chaos only speaks in water sloshes.

Chaos is one of the many original forces of nature that populated the Archipelago many years ago. Legend has it that Chaos was responsible for the mass extinction of the Echidna on Angel Island, and was the one responsible for flooding Hydrocity Zone, and the former Hidden Palace Zone. Chaos was formed when a Chao, who happened to be very old and unhappy due to the Echidna tribes of the day treating his people very unfairly, mutated due to the exposure of Chaos Energy to the Chao’s genetically unstable body. Chaos is a being of pure hate and pure destruction. It’s almost entirely composed of a thick, water-like substance that can take on liquid or solid properties at Chaos’ discretion. His body hungers for Chaos Energy, and he is willing to destroy anything that stands in his way to have it, specifically by absorbing the Chaos Emerald. With each emerald Chaos absorbs, Chaos only becomes bigger, and stronger, becoming harder and harder to defeat. And if Chaos gathers all Seven of the Emeralds? You’d better hope you can find some way to calm this Great Old One down, otherwise, your world may just end up underwater. Luckily, Chaos was sealed inside of the Master Emerald by its former guardian, Tikal, and there he shall remain... for now, at least.

Emerl

Voice Actor: Various (copies the voices of others. To speak it splices lines that it’s heard together.)

Originally created directly to counter Chaos whilst the Echidna tribes were facing extinction, Emerl is a Gizoid, a kind of Robot created to copy the physical data of others. Although one can initially defeat Emerl pretty easily, it’s advised not to vary your tactics too much, as Emerl’s original purpose, and his ultimate capability, is to copy any behavior he’s seen, in order to not only replicate it, but replicate it better, and hence, conquer its original user. Terrifyingly, Emerl can even copy phenomenon that he otherwise wouldn’t, or shouldn’t be able to use, such as Chaos Control, Sonic’s Maximum Speed, or Tails’ intellect. The only thing truly limiting Emerl... is the kind of opponents he faces. And, if you give Emerl to someone who understands him and knows how he works, you may just be dealing with one of the most fearsome fighters the Mobius Archepeligo has ever known.

Mephiles, Iblis and Solaris

Voice Actor: Dan Green (Mephiles only) (This is just because Dan also voices Knuckles ideally but, again, if Dan doesn’t wanna come back to Sonic after being replaced, I understand that.)

If Chaos was the patron saint of water, Solaris is the patron saint of fire. Born from a sacred flame created by the Echidna, Solaris was worshipped by the surviving Echidna as a force that could potentially vanquish Chaos, as the ‘’sun’ to dry the rain. However, the tribes’ malicious intents caused their newly formed ‘God’ to become more of a beast, and it only helped Chaos in driving the Echidna extinct. Solaris later retreated to the bottom of the ocean after all was said and done, slumbering beneath the surface in an underground cave, in a damaged, unstable state.

Solaris has re-awoken twice since this has happened, and both times, his unstable shell split and formed two halves, it’s raw power, known as Iblis, and it’s mind, and spirit, known as Mephiles. The two halves of Solaris first re-awoke in an Alternate Timeline where Robotnik had conquered the world, re-awakening as the folly of the dictator had driven the Sun God’s split soul to awaken when the intense greenhouse heat began to boil the ocean. Mephiles’ primordial form simply died off in the intense heat, but Iblis remained awake, laying waste to the already horrible wasteland that was Robotnik’s Bad Future. Many survivors who reside within this future came to blame Iblis for their problems, even though Robotnik was what had destroyed it centuries earlier.

As for the other time The soul and body of Solaris re-awoke?...

Well... we’ll get to that. Let’s come back to someone I’m sure you’re all waiting for.

Antiheroes

HERE HE IS, OKAY? YOU HAPPY? I was saving him for a good reason! I actually want Shadow (and Rouge, to an extent, she kinda keeps her evil side tbh) to start out as a big bad! After Shadow’s done BEING a big bad though, he’ll become similar to his post-adventure 2 self, specifically how he behaves in Sonic 06 and Sonic Heroes, except with a bit more sympathy. Modern Shadow has a lot of brooding, edgy bite to him, and while that’s cool and all, I feel like there should be more to Shadow than just brooding and standing around crossing his arms and saying ‘tch’ all the time.

Shadow the Hedgehog

Shadow the Hedgehog:

Voice Actor: Anyone that’s not Kirk Thornton. I actually don’t have a good answer for who Shadow’s voice actor should be but, honestly, anything would be better than his current one in my honest opinion.

Shadow was synthesized fifty years ago on a small, man-made satellite called the Space Colony ARK by the brilliant scientist Dr. Gerald Robotnik. He was born from a desire to find a cure for the seemingly incurable disease for his granddaughter, Maria. However, due to an accident when splicing the genes of the quill of a Mobian Hedgehog, and experimental biomaterial found on the fragments of an asteroid that collided with the Earth millions of years ago, the doctor accidentally created something he absolutely didn’t intend, Life. And thus, Project Shadow was born. Gerald felt attached to his creation, viewing the resulting creation, which he called ‘Shadow’ as one of his own. Shadow developed rapidly, quickly maturing into an infant, and then juvenile, yet seemingly normal Mobian Hedgehog. Shadow’s equivalent age later capped once Shadow was done growing, and he remained that way, immortally perfect. The Ultimate Lifeform. Tests with Shadow later showed his destructive capabilities, as it seemed the asteroid’s DNA had morphed Shadow to be far beyond the capabilities of any normal Hedgehog, even in peak physical condition at that age, capable of creating explosions, firing bolts of energy, and even freezing time, appearing to ‘teleport’ in the process. Despite these curiosities, Shadow grew fond of Maria in his stay at the ARK, although Shadow couldn’t help her recover, he did make her much happier. However, a raid on the Space Colony by the mainland’s military led to a massive capsizing of the project, with the intention to destroy Shadow, who was viewed as a dangerous, alien, unholy abomination. Before he could be killed though, Maria shot Shadow down to Earth in an escape pod, where he subsequently landed deep in the jungles of Cocoa Island... but, Maria was murdered in the process of doing so. Shadow was later recovered by Gerald’s other grandson, Ivo Robotnik, 50 years after the tragedy. Hesitant to release Shadow immediately, it’s known that Robotnik has spoken to Shadow in his pod, although about what matters is unknown. For now, Shadow slumbers deep within the confines of Eggmanland, waiting for his proper, strategic time to be unleashed and to wreak his horrible vengeance upon the Earth.

I’ll bring up Shadow again later when we talk about how I project the series to actually go, for now, just sit tight and let’s talk about the rest of Team Dark... and some familiar faces.

Abilities:

Spin Dash

Homing Attack (Shadow can automatically home in on opponents while also performing an Air Dash.)

Burning Rollout (Inspired by the flame ring of Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow can cloak his spinning form in fire by turning on his shoes when rolling, doing this will significantly up the strength of his spin, and make a nice little ring of fire around his spinning form.)

Chaos Control (Can be used as short-distance teleportation, as a way to buff Shadow’s speed immensely, or as a way to freeze or dramatically slow Shadow’s relative perspective of time by dramatically increasing his speed.)

Chaos Spear (These are green bolts of pure, chaos energy. The energy used to form these bolts is so unstable that once hurled at something, the ‘spear’ will likely explode, although, if it doesn’t, it will easily pierce through whatever it hits. Shadow likes to shout ‘DISAPPEAR!’ before hurling these at things for some reason.)

Chaos Blast (Shadow’s Chaos Blast can be considered his ‘ultimate’ attack, Chaos Blast sees Shadow creating a kind of ‘mini-singularity’ with chaos energy that will detonate after a short time, easily eradicating anything caught in the explosion’s radius, even the ground around Shadow. The only problem with this is, doing this is a huge strain on Shadow’s natural supply of Chaos Energy, so a lengthy cooldown period is inevitable.)

and of course, we can’t forget

The Roundhouse Kick

Minor Antagonists

These are characters who are villains but are also more likely to show up in arcs that are only a couple episodes long or are side or off-boss fights. 

I’ll be honest, most of you know these characters already, so I’m just gonna run through them super quickly and give my suggested changes and my justifications for them.

Rouge the Bat

E-123 OMEGA

Dave the Intern

Fang the Sniper (Nack the Weasel)

Bean the Dynamite

Bark the Polar Bear

Rouge the Bat:

Voice Actor: Karen Strassman

Rouge is a thief and a treasure hunter but is also working for the military agency of the mainland, G.U.N. Rouge is sly, sneaky and has a silver tongue, easily able to manipulate people into what she wants by pure wordplay alone. Rouge is a lot less active of a fighter than Sonic and Co. as she prefers to stalk quietly in the shadows, and strike when the time is right. In this reboot, Rouge is gonna wear something a bit more modest. I’m sorry, I hate Rouges’ clothes in canon. That fucking catsuit? has gotta go. She can still look cool and... *gag* “”sexy”” but, I’d rather her not wear... THAT? But, I do want her personality to remain mostly intact because in full honesty? She’s not a bad character on paper. Like Shadow, though I do kinda want Rouge to be a straight-up antagonist at first, and a very greedy one at that.

E-123 OMEGA:

Voice Actor: Vic Mignogna

What can I say? Omega doesn’t need to change much at all, really. He works in about any Sonic setting tbh. He’s loud, and he likes to blow things up, and he doesn’t emote very well, what else is there? In this reboot though, Omega will be the only E-Series Robot, or rather the only... surviving one. And, yeah, like Rouge and Shadow too, I think Omega should start out as an antagonist.

Dave the Intern:

Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz (What? We gotta keep up the tradition of Dave sharing a voice with Sonic!)

An odd choice for a minor antagonist I know, but Dave the Intern is REALLY funny? And I love the idea of a character just hating Sonic for no discernable reason other than ‘he’s popular and cool and I’m not.’ I also thought it’d be cool if Dave frequently got way in over his head with the shit he does, and put himself into trouble that Sonic (reluctantly) had to get him out of. Plus, I really wanted to include some representation of Sonic Boom in this reboot because Sonic Boom as a show is really funny and really good, and I think taking a page from it might be good, plus, Boom is a part of Sonic’s history too!

Fang the Sniper (Nack the Weasel):

Voice Actor: Dwight Schultz

Fang is the leader of Team Hooligan, and in a similar vein to Great Kukku XV I think he’d take himself way too seriously, but would play off of other characters. In Fang’s mind, he’s a trained assassin, like an evil Aussie-accent Batman or something of that stretch. But, really? He’s just a sleazy conman with a popgun. I feel like a good joke to make in this series would be Fang reaching for what he thinks is his actual pistol, but then he’d pull it out and fire it and it’d be one of his fake popguns. And, do I even need to make a joke about the comedic possibilities between him and Shadow using guns? Also, his real name being Nack the Weasel but he wants everyone to call him Fang the Sniper is funny. I’m sorry but ‘Fang the Sniper’ is just a silly name and I like the idea of Fang being the equivalent of one of those nice guys with Otaku Katanas who think they’re WAY cooler than they actually are. I wanted to choose Fang as a minor antagonist in the reboot just because of the kind of character I think he is, he thinks he has everything under control and has all the cards laid out in front of him when in reality, this setup of his just fails dramatically. The kind of interactions between him and Sonic this could spell out are amazing.

Bean the Dynamite:

Voice Actor: Eric Bauza

What do you get when you throw Daffy Duck and Woody Woodpecker in a blender and make him an unstable arsonist? Bean the Dynamite, that’s what. I’d want Bean in this reboot to be an off-the-wall, screwy, but surprisingly resourceful and clever, explosion-crazed maniac. He wouldn’t be... *gag* ‘insane’, so much as he would be just hyper and unable to calm down, again, like Woody Woodpecker or Daffy Duck. He’d be quick-witted, fast-talking and zippy, even more than Sonic himself is. (In the end, Sonic would always outpace him, but the reflexes on THIS bird are crazy.) Also, I feel like the idea of Bean being a defector of the Battle Kukku Armada is just... great, considering they’re all bomb-throwing birds, but THIS one was a little too off-the-handle for even them? He’d be a real character and a surprisingly dangerous threat for Sonic and Co.

Bark the Polar Bear:

Voice Actor: I’m... actually not too sure who to cast Bark as tbh. Mostly because I see him being very quiet and not... speaking, much at all?

Bark is a quiet tough guy. He’s smarter than he looks, but he’s big, he’s mean, he’s tough, and he will Hulk slam at least one character in the length of this reboot. I don’t really have much idea on where to take Bark, I just think he deserves a place as a minor villain.

Projected direction for canon

So, we have all the pieces of the puzzle, let’s see how they all fit together! I’ll be going through these with the assumption that one game can be made to represent each season of the show in its entirety.

For this, I honestly think it would be best if we split this reboot up based upon Sonic the Hedgehog’s current history with its elements. Think, almost, the way Sonic Generations told its story. We’ll start with something with a more Classic Vibe to it, then move into something more Adventure-like, and then, finally, we do something a bit more Modern! It’ll be a little less linear, and we’ll double dip here and there, but it’ll all line up!

Because of this, I’d like to establish what games have already PASSED before going into this series. This is what all has happened going in, in roughly the chronological order they happened in.

Sonic the Hedgehog 1 (16-bit)

Sonic the Hedgehog 1 (8-bit)

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (8-bit)

SegaSonic the Hedgehog

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (16-Bit)

Sonic CD

Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles

Sonic Chaos

Sonic Triple Trouble

Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episodes 1, 2, and Metal.

Sonic Mania

The intention is to begin sort of... around the time JUST before Sonic Adventure 1 happened in the old rudimentary timeline before Sonic Forces came out and clarified Classic and Modern Sonic were different beings.

Season 1/Game 1: Genesis

The first few episodes of the series will be more dedicated to introducing the characters and Sonic’s new home. We’ll see the new Sonic, the new Tails, the new Knuckles, Amy, Mighty, and Ray for the very first time, and we’ll also get to see some of the characters’ new capabilities as they take on some minor villains or assaults led by Orbot and Cubot for the first couple episodes; but not at all subtly tease at something bigger and better coming, although we’re also shown how frequent scuffles between Sonic and Eggman exactly are, as we see plenty of mention of the Doctor, but he never physically appears.

Then, I’d say at about Episode 5 or 6 out of say, 22-24? Eggman steps in and introduces us to his new Master Plan, as he does. To build a new Death Egg (which, Sonic obviously chides him on doing the same thing a THIRD time.), but, as Robotnik does, he turns out to be serious, and the episodes from there on out are a race against time for Sonic and co. to gather all the Chaos Emeralds from various different zones of various different challenging geographies, fight off villains and giant robots, learn valuable morals, run into some familiar faces, and have a couple laughs along the way.

The climax of the season would come with a few episodes left, where Sonic and Co. finally have all the Emeralds, and they chase Eggman down to the New Death Egg, maybe there could be an encounter with Metal Sonic along the way because nostalgia and to introduce Metal into the continuity, and of course things’ll play out from there, Robotnik gets the upper hand and shows his shit, gets in a giant robot, dukes it out with Super Sonic, and BAM! End of Season/Game!

At the very end of season 1/Game 1 though, I’d like to include a little teaser for Season 2/Game 2 in the form of a familiar-looking escape pod in the middle of a jungle, full of green bubbling fluid, and a flash of red eyes.

Season 2/Game 2: Chaos Emerald Chaos

Right out of the gate in Season 2/Game 2, we’re back in the game as Sonic and Eggman are seen duking it out a while after the first game/season has ended, but in a much different area than we’d seen in Season 1/Game 1. This fight would lead up to the pod in the teaser after Eggman lures Sonic into a dark room with the green glow in sight. By one way or another, maybe on purpose or on accident, this pod breaks open, and something is released from it. Sonic is understandably confused, but then, is knocked down, and a panning shot reveals one of three of our major antagonists for the season/game, Shadow the Hedgehog.

Shadow fucking wipes the floor with Sonic in this first encounter, but instead of finishing him off, Eggman instructs Shadow to leave him be and search for the rest of the Chaos Emeralds instead. Shadow nods and simply leaves via Chaos Control. Eggman, on the meanwhile, begins transporting Sonic back to North Island via dropship, revealing by surprise that this isn’t on North Island, but rather a much smaller place Eggman was using as a trap.

Meanwhile, Sonic’s friends (with Knux noticeably absent) are confused to learn that Sonic has been... committing crimes, upon his return back from a scuffle back with Eggman, and seeming very much unlike himself, always hiding away in the dark and staying away from everyone. When they go to confront him, it turns out that this was actually Shadow, disguised as Sonic, who was simply searching for the emeralds for Dr. Eggman.

Sonic’s friends demand to know where Sonic is, but Shadow kicks all their asses instead, and something about the Master Emerald is mentioned after the fight. We then cut away to Knuckles, who is soon confronted by Shadow.

Shadow puts up a hard fight, but, with the help of the chaos emerald he already had, defeats Knuckles, and goes to take the Master Emerald. But, in a last ditch effort to save the gem, Knuckles shatters the Master Emerald, causing the shards to scatter all across the islands. Shadow, understandably frustrated by this, scoffs and leaves, seemingly fooled into thinking the Master Emerald WAS destroyed. Unknowingly, however, shattering the Master Emerald caused Chaos, slumbering within the Emerald, to awaken.

Knuckles, obviously horrified by what he’s done, abandons Angel Island and sets to work on finding both the pieces of the Master Emerald, and any Chaos Emeralds he can, to stop Chaos before anything goes wrong.

At this point, we go back to Sonic, who finally escapes as the dropship taking him to EggmanLand and, by extension, escapes from the city as he hurries to try to reunite with his friends and tell them what happened.

From there, a combination of the events of Adventure 1 and 2 (with the addition of Metal Sonic and some other characters of course.) would transpire, with Rouge the Bat getting involved with Knuckles due to her finding the shards of the Master Emerald, and the Chaos Emeralds trading hands several times, all up until the Season/Game’s climax.

It would all build with Robotnik planning to use Chaos to terraform the Earth by transforming him into Perfect Chaos, who, once he takes form, begins wreaking havoc on a coastal city on the mainland. At this point, the Chaos Emeralds seem shut off, and even though the Master Emerald is restored, it seems like there’s nothing that can be done. Shadow, having already begun to go through a change of heart when he sees the kind of destruction the doctor’s plans have wrought, and after some choice words from Amy, decides instead to join Sonic and Co. in what seems like their darkest hour. And, Shadow mentions that Chaos only absorbed the negative energy of the emeralds, being in-tune with Chaos Energy himself, he’d know this.

And so, Super Sonic and Super Shadow defeat Perfect Chaos together, Knuckles and the spirit of Tikal work together to seal Chaos back inside the Master Emerald, and the city begins to drain.

Shadow, having felt satisfied with this, then decides to go off on his own for a while, and mentions something about ‘wanting to discover himself’, and ‘trying to decide what Maria would have wanted me to be.’ 

Oh, and Eggman is finally thrown in prison for literally capsizing an entire city. But don’t worry, he’ll be back.

End of Season 2/Game 2.

Season 3/Game 3: Triple Trouble!

This Eggmanless Season/Game would feature a ‘Triple Threat’, in the form of 3 major villains! And all three of them brand new to the series! We’re introduced to Emerl in this season, as well as Great Kukku XV, and Heavy King.

The entire season would be intense, Team Sonic rushing to get the Chaos Emeralds once again, while the Battle Birds (frequently interrupted by Bean the Dynamite, calling out to his ‘brothers’) and Heavies scramble to get them before the team does.

All the while... Emerl grows stronger and stronger by the minute.

And, in a surprise twist, Emerl, having copied the data of Great Kukku XV and the Heavies, among many others, grows the strongest he ever has, and, like Mecha Sonic in Sonic 3, uses the Master Emerald (likely stolen by Heavy King or Kukku at this point) to attain a Super form, and Emerl becomes a terrifying conglomerate of everything that has led up to this point, Perfect Emerl, the thing originally meant to take down PERFECT CHAOS.

But, luckily, Kukku and King realize when they’ve been beaten, and decide to help Super Sonic take down Perfect Emerl. 

End of Season 3/Game 3. But like Season 1, let’s end off on a teaser. How about a small, flickering flame, with a visible shadow?

Season 4/Game 4: Return of Solaris

This is the final season/game I have planned out, although that’s not to say more couldn’t be done with this concept, it’s just about as far as I got. Essentially I was thinking this season could be a retelling and retooling of Sonic 06 with some details omitted or changed up like, for instance:

The romance between Sonic and Elise being outright axed! Matter of fact, while we’re at it, let’s just NOT make Elise a focus character so she doesn’t eat up screentime?

The weird time shit in this season/game being altered with Time Stones instead of Chaos Emeralds!

Less plotholes!

Focus on NONLINEAR timelines with LINEAR storytelling.

Silver is less silly!

Metal Sonic!

The Chaotix! AND THEY’RE HERE TO ACTUALLY BE HELPFUL!

Important Sonic characters being important!

Hey guess what? Eggman’s back and busted out of jail and he’s kicking ass! And he’s totally gonna release Solaris even though that didn’t work out so well for him last time!

Mephiles is still a cool villain! And he gets cool new designs for this series too that don’t stray too far from his original form!

I feel like this season/game would be kind of a hard fusion of Sonic CD and Sonic 06, with elements of Sonic CD being changing the past to ensure the future, and the future/present changing as a result. 

The climax of this series would be, well, you know by now. Sonic getting shot in the back, but then revived using the Chaos Emeralds and Time Stones together. But, even with Super Sonic, all seems hopeless, but, Sonic and Knuckles seem to have an idea, and it leads up, to our grand finale:

Solaris, the extra-dimensional being of ultimate power.

Versus

Hyper Sonic, Super Shadow, Super Silver, Super Tails, Super Knuckles, Super Amy, Super Mighty, and Super Ray.

With Solaris finally felled, Sonic and Co. use the last of the energy of their super forms to do two more things. 

Vanquish the flame of Solaris and Mephiles, and ensure that Solaris may never return to any Time Stream.

Silver’s future, although still broken, now looks much brighter, and the world is saved for the final time.

End of Season 4/Game 4.

I’m sure these ideas could be tweaked or changed around to span more seasons/games if certain characters or aspects of the series become popular, or if demand for certain characters appearing gets to be enough. Sonic has an immense library of games to do over or retell in this reboot, why not? 

And, this is just my idea for it, it doesn’t have to go this way explicitly. My only goal with this was to try to unify the Sonic lore in an interesting, unique manner, but also in such a way that it was new, fresh, and it made sense, most of all!

Opening

This really applies more toward the cartoon part of this reboot, that’s not to say the video game COULDN’T utilize the cartoon’s opening or something, it’s just that the opening is more for the show than it is for the games.

There’s a number of ways to go here, but in my mind, the best way to open a Sonic cartoon? Is the way you’d open a Sonic game. How about a condensed ‘remake’ of Sonic CD’s opening, with a few short clips from the first few episodes thrown in there to get people curious and excited about the show when it first airs?

There’s a cover of Sonic Boom by Crush 40 and Cash Cash just waiting to be used for this very thing!

I also think a condensed (that is to say, censored. I hate to censor a great song but ‘kicking-ass fast’ is a bit much for a show that’s likely gonna be PG-rated.) version of the Zebrahead (aka the BEST) version of His World would make for a GREAT opening.

Or if we wanna piggyback off of the recent success of Mania, how about a condensed version of Friends? Maybe we could even end the intro off on a remake of Sonic Mania’s title theme if we wanna have like, a classic Sonic emblem at the end of the opening.

I’d say the opening should be about... 60% new animation with Sonic platforming around and parkouring like he does or whatever, and about 40% old animation of various clips from the show or maybe even the games if we’re feeling kinda frisky to show off the series we’re about to watch, but also for budgetary reasons and to, again, get people interested in what’s actually IN the show, or maybe we could even do it like Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure’s part 1 opening or something where a couple of important scenes from the very beginning of the show or games are re-animated in a flashy way to achieve the same effect, but also wow the audience. That'd be a huge budget sink though and going a classic clip-show-and-new-shit route may just be the ideal compromise.

Marketing

This next part is also a lot more cartoon oriented, and kinda heavily depends on who’s gonna be sponsoring the show and who’s gonna be running it, but, hear me out.

Part of Sonic’s rise to popularity in the 90s was controversial, competitive advertising. And you know what? I haven’t seen anything really quite like this in a long time (except maybe for cleaner commercials), but, lots of people remember how pushy and in your face these commercials were, and how much they really pushed the superiority of the product they were advertising. So you know what? Let’s bring this back. Let’s bring back Sonic’s violent guerilla marketing campaigns.

It’d be a great throwback as well as a statement about Sonic REALLY comin’ back and comin’ back hot; which might get some new people interested to at least watch a few episodes, and in the process of that, they may find they like the new show/games a lot!

(NOTE: I DON’T HATE NICKELODEON, AND THIS ISN’T EXACTLY WHAT I THINK THE SHOW’S SONIC SHOULD LOOK LIKE, THIS IS JUST A PROOF-OF-CONCEPT OF WHAT I THINK THIS SHOW’S ADVERTISING COULD LOOK LIKE)

Or, if we want to opt for more positive, passive marketing strategies, why don’t we revisit an idea that was misused and make it better?

Idk about anyone else but I actually really like the ‘blue streaks to show where Sonic’s been’ idea that the movie posters did, and I think it has potential to make a really memorable-looking advertisement.

Or, why not opt for a more nostalgic passive approach and recreate some of Sonic’s old box art?

Again, it’d be a great throwback as well as a way to get people interested in the show. Although, if we go this route I WOULD say maybe we should make it a little more interesting than just ‘Sonic 1 pose on a black grid or popart background’? Maybe we should combine these box arts and add the pop-art details for little pops of color while Sonic bursts out of this black-grid frame with a richly detailed drawing of Green Hill in the background? I dunno.

Conclusion

Okay, so. I didn’t get to everything I wanted to explain (like other marketing stuff, merchandising, the new actual GAMEPLAY for these new games, how to write the characters and humor, how I think the general ART STYLE of these new cartoons and games should look, etc.) as a matter of fact, I still have a ton more ideas for this reboot, but, here’s the main point:

Sonic the Hedgehog, right now? Sucks. Because it’s such a mess. It has too many ideas that are going off in too many different directions. The best way to change that, in my eyes, is to start over and try to unify all these broken-up ideas into one. I believe this is possible, while still maintaining a pretty widespread appeal and giving broken, old ideas a second chance to shine, but still being fresh and new enough to have a lasting impact and leave the door open for new content later.

I’m really bad at ending posts like this, but, if you went into this post thinking that Sonic can’t or shouldn’t change, I hope I’ve at least provoked thought on the matter. And, maybe, all those hardworking people at SEGA will decide one day that things need to change, whether by a reboot, rewrite or just... doing something a little bit different.

Maybe then, just maybe.

Our blue blur will really shine again.

- Jenny, of @jennikkugoesoff and @jennikku

[travllingbunny]

AoS rewatch:  1x06 FZZT

And with this, we start that season 1 thing with spelling words in titles as if they were acronyms, though this one is only typed in capital letters but without the periods, unlike T.R.A.C.K.S.

This is the best episode of the first part of season 1, in spite of being one of the few that have no elements of the overall storyline. If all the early season 1 episodes were like this, no one would be saying anything against pre-Winter Soldier season 1. The standalone story is a great one, and it is full of important character moments and character development, Especially for Simmons and Fitz, and their relationship. This is where they stop being just comic relief supporting characters and become fully fledged characters.

Simmons later had a lot of inconsistent writing, but her characterization in this episode is perfect. It’s certainly one of her best episodes ever. We see everything from her rationality and scientific curiosity which can sometimes sound a bit creepy (”So sad a man died this way…and yet, so amazing.“), her determination and her courage and willingness to spare the others the responsibility to sacrifice her, by sacrificing herself to save everyone.

And it’s the first great FitzSimmons episode – where their relationship is in the focus and the heart of the story. There’s a lot of fun bickering, as there always is, but then we also get to see how much they mean to each other, how much Fitz is willing to risk for Jemma, and  we get the first hints he may be feeling something romantic for her.

One of the differences between Fitz and Jemma is how much is Fitz is grossed out by things like dead bodies (or  needles stuck into eyes, as in 1x04) while Simmons is cool and unaffected by them (but if she weren’t, it would be hard for her to do her job). I relate to Fitz in this case.

Simmons taunts him that he’s „afraid“ of a dead body, which angers him and he protests that he’s not afraid, just disgusted. Later, she says he was too afraid to go into the field. But when it comes to saving Simmons, Fitz is later completely unafraid to get into the lab with her and risk getting infected himself, and later wanted to jump off a plane to save her.

But before that, at the beginning of the episode, Fitz’ little crush on Skye gets its swan song as he makes a terrible attempt at hitting at her, which she doesn’t even register. She’s too busy talking about her problems with Ward – who has been ignoring her - and comparing him to her ex-boyfriend Miles, and she also has noticed the FitzSimmons chemistry before either of them have, pointing out that they are „psychically linked“. She has always been the world’s biggest FitzSimmons shipper.

Speaking of which, the ship name itself is again spoken in canon: just like the doc in the Pilot, Coulson refers to them as a single unit, „FitzSimmons“.

Fitz and Simmons’ impersonations of Ward are both terrible. Why do they make him sound like Edward James Olmos?

The only thing that feels out of place in this episode is May’s interrogation of one of the witnesses, who’s a little boy. It’s a humorous scene where she offers him a cookie, but looks completely intimidating while doing it. This doesn’t really make sense, as we know that May can be softer, and we now know that she is usually very caring with children. And scaring an already traumatized child shouldn’t be funny.

Indeed, Skye, I’m also shocked that neither Coulson nor Ward are familiar with The Big Lebowski. Well, actually, I’m not at all shocked that Ward hasn’t.

Foreshadowing: Ward: „Everyone looks clean on the first go round. Dig deeper“

At this point, I’m not sure if Ward is really still angry at Skye (I did believe he really was in 1x05, but only because he was jealous of Miles), or if he thinks that he now needs to continue his performance of being a strict, loyal SHIELD agent angered by Skye’s Rising Tide allegiance.

It’s a testament to how good this episode is, that it succeeds in making you feel for  Diaz, the firefighter about to die, a minor character who’s only been on screen for a couple of minutes. The writing and the acting is really good. This episode’s plot is so sad, because the victims are people who were heroes helping and saving others, and they died as an indirect result of that. It’s also possibly the only episode where the team isn’t dealing with any villains who intentionally caused this, but a virus and an accidental infection.

This is also one of the best episodes for Coulson. The scene where he stays with the dying firefighter as long as he can, to make it easier for him, telling him about his own death experience, is really beautiful. (We never find out if what he told him was true, or just something he said to make him feel better.) He cut off the comm with May when she tried to warn him to leave. He does something similar later when he pretends that he lost communications with Blake, because he has no intention of following the order to dump Simmons into the ocean, instead of hoping and believing that she will find the antiserum. And he openly defies Blake and the superiors’ orders at the end of the episode, even replying „Let them try“ when he’s threatened with SHIELD taking the team away from him. (I don’t know how Fury felt about Coulson disobeying his orders – but maybe he liked it, because, after all, he also disobeyed orders that he deemed to be stupid ass orders, like being told to bomb New York.) In spite of the many ways in which the later seasons improved the show, one of the things I’m sad about is that this humane, always compassionate season 1 Coulson was kind of lost, as he became darker and angrier, prone to keeping secrets even from his team, and occasionally too obsessed with revenge.

When watching Ward in these early episodes, the question constantly arises, what is real and what is fake. The speech he gives to Skye, about feeling helpless that he cannot protect his team members from someone, a superpowered psychopath, it is a part of his performance, but is there maybe some grain of truth in it? The best lies are usually those that have a bit of truth in them – an actor needs to find something to relate to give a better performance. Ward was deceiving and manipulating everyone, but at the same time, we know he did develop some feelings for at least some of his teammates. Not just romantic feelings for Skye, but it’s also canon (at least since 3x09) that he projected his little brother into Fitz. The same episode hinted he may have seen Simmons as a sister figure. (I personally believe that he projected his family on the team, which also explains his later negative feelings for them.) And he definitely has a hero complex and wants people to see him as a protector (whether or not this fits with the reality), this is how he defines himself and his worth – it’s one of the constants of his characters throughout the show.

First mention and appearance of Titus Welliver as Agent Felix Blake

We find out that FitzSimmons have never even passed their field assessments.

So many defining FitzSimmons moments. FitzSimmons sitting on the different sides of the lab door, separated.

That moment. That moment when they are arguing and Fitz starts saying that she has been always by his side, that they’ve spent every moment together (“You’ve been beside me the whole damn time!”) – and his face changes. That’s when he realizes just how much Simmons means to him. And it’s the moment when so many fans started shipping FitzSimmons.

It’s right after that he went into the lab with her to do everything to help her find a way to save herself „We’re gonna fix this together“

Fitz desperately yelling: „JEMMA!“ - I’m pretty sure that’s the first time on the show he has called her by her first name.

Going by what we’ve seen so far – countries SHIELD has offices in include Morocco and China, but apparently not Peru or Belarus (and, going by 4x14, no office in Russia, either).

I love the way Simmons corrects Ward about his imitation of her bad imitation of him.

Aw, the Skye-Simmons hug was sweet. The Bus Kids friendship was one of the things that the show developed very convincingly from the start, in a relatively small number of episodes.

In the ongoing story of Coulson worrying about his earlier death and comeback, he has ordered his own physical exam. This is so far the most tender May/Coulson scene, and the tenderest May has been in the show. (And I bet the writers were being intentionally naughty and ship-teasing when they put the„Take off your shirt“ line in there.)

The last scene, where Fitz is unhappy and a bit jealous that he didn’t  get to save Simmons from jumping, but Ward did instead (don’t worry, Fitz, Ward had a much better chance of succeeding there, let everyone play to their strengths), and Simmons reassures him that he was the one who did most to help and save her, being there with her in the lab, and gives him a cheek kiss… if Fitz didn’t realize before that his feelings for Jemma may be romantic, he is definitely starting to understand it here, going by that last shot of him, deep in thoughts.

[haledamage]

5, 11, 12 for Kira

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

By trying to ignore it until it goes away. Kira has never liked feeling weak, but especially now that most of her friends can heal a bullet wound in the same time it takes her just to eat breakfast. She has a high pain tolerance anyway due to chronic headaches (look, one of my characters had to end up with my headaches/migraines, it should at least be the one who lives in a society with advanced enough medication to deal with it), so she generally tries to ignore or medicate away any pain she has. Stubborn and Optimistic are a potent combination of traits and not always a good one ;)

11. What do they feel most insecure about? 

Hmm… her relationships, maybe. Like, she worries that she isn’t ‘likeable’ enough. She works very hard to be approachable and friendly even when she’s not really feeling like being either, but she keeps herself at a distance from most people and that’s all they ever see. So when she lets people close enough to see past that, she worries they won’t like what they find there.

Of course, what they find there isn’t that much different than the face she presents to the world; she’s still friendly and genuine and caring, she just has a bit of a sharper tongue and a darker sense of humor, she speaks what’s on her mind instead of trying to sanitize her words for public consumption, she cusses a lot, but that doesn’t actually make her a different person. I blame Bobby Marks, as I do for a lot of things because he’s an ass, but I also think it may be a bit Rebecca’s fault as well. Kira would never blame her mother, of course - Mum works hard, but she clearly loves Kira unconditionally - but I wonder if Rebecca being around so little gave Kira a complex that she needs to pretend things are okay even when they aren’t, so she won’t be a burden.

Tina has been very helpful in lessening her insecurities, because Tina Poname is the kind of friend everyone needs and would help Kira dispose of a body if need be. I think Unit Bravo will be helpful in this too, especially Felix and Mason who will actually probably like her better once she starts relaxing and being more of a smartass around them.

12. How do they like to dress?

Simply and in dark colors. Sort of a middle ground between approachable and professional, but nothing that stands out. Jeans, long sleeved t-shirts or button ups (with the sleeves pushed up to her elbows). Usually black shirts, sometimes white. Very rarely anything that resembles an actual color, dark blue or green. Black Doc Martens. Black leather jacket in cold weather (black fleece lined leather bomber jacket in very cold weather).

She does have some really brightly colored or patterned t-shirts and leggings, gifts from Tina mostly, but she doesn’t ever wear them in public. They’re mostly for sleeping in.

[the-domestication-of-the-dog]

The 9th Annual L.A.O.K Awards

I’m no artist, but I did love art class growing up, and let’s just say I’ve won a few coloring contests in my day (God did I live for coloring contests). Let’s also say that in high school I did a watercolor of one of my stepmom’s nature photographs, and let’s say that it ended up in the yearbook. That watercolor was the crowning achievement of my many classes with Ms. Warren, our high school art teacher. Let me paint a picture of Ms. Warren for you: short spiky blonde hair, this pattern Gap button down every day, long denim skirt, and the unfaltering attitude of someone who was born to be an artist but instead ended up teaching ungrateful teenagers who called things “gay” around you even though you were clearly a lesbian.

Months after completing that watercolor, I began work on acrylic painting I’ll admit was uninspired, but I still gave it my best. The composition featured a bird on a branch in narrow focus, so that everything in the background was blurry, and I had planned on giving it to my mom as a Mother’s Day present. The problem was that I had no idea how to paint something out of focus, and instead of doing any research or asking my teacher how to do that, I just dove right in and painted from memory and tried to make the lines really soft. Here is that painting, which still hangs in my mother’s bedroom to my everlasting shame.

If you look closely, you might recognize that I cut my losses on this one. That’s because it was at this point in my progress when I fully realized I was in over my head and decided to ask Ms. Warren for some tips. She came over to my desk, looked at the painting for a good 10 seconds, and finally uttered two sentences I’ll never forget: “Garrett, sometimes in art you hit, and sometimes you miss. Your watercolor was a hit.” And she was off to the next student.

That said, sometimes a year in movies is a hit, and sometimes it’s a miss. 2017 was a hit. Now on to the next desk:  

Best Film Eighth Grade The Favourite First Man Mary Queen of Scots Sicario: Day of the Soldado

First off, anyone who didn’t like Mary Queen of Scots can meet me in a laundry cottage halfway between England and Scotland in negative 460 years for another asskicking. What is there not to like about this movie? According to Ben Friday, extreme historical inaccuracy. Okay, if anyone comes up with any non-nerd reasons, please let me know. The second film in my top five that you’re going “Guh, what?” to: Sicario: Day of the Soldado, was actually very good, and it turns out everyone is wrong for thinking it’s not. Wow, definitive proof here (https://letterboxd.com/g_baby9000/film/sicario-day-of-the-soldado/). I also loved First Man’s slow burn. La La Land was a misstep for me from Damien Chazelle, but now I’m right back on the Chazelle train. Bravo for making an unconventional, understated historical biopic, which drives through its seeming monotony with an ever building tension that keeps it compelling from start to finish. Then there’s The Favourite, which continues Yorgos Lanthimos’s reign over this annual list. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the dictum came down to the Fox marketing department that they were going to go wide with this movie. 

And the Layokie goes to… Eighth Grade

In the lead up to Eighth Grade I thought two things: 1) I hope it’s not that good because Bo Burnham’s age and career make me feel inadequate, and 2) It probably isn’t that good because everyone’s talking about how good it is. In LA, if you don’t see a movie until after its release date you are a total loser, and I went even a few weeks after that, so it was already sufficiently hyped. I honestly didn’t expect much from it, and it totally blew me away with it’s humor and heartwarmingness in a way that no other film matched in 2018. I’ll talk more about this great film below.

Next Five The Ballad of Buster Scruggs Cold War First Reformed Roma Shoplifters

Also Great Avengers: Infinity War Beautiful Boy Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot. Outlaw King The Rider A Star is Born Vice (Why does everyone hate Vice? My thoughts on Vice.)

Best Original Screenplay The Ballad of Buster Scruggs - Joel Coen & Ethan Coen (1/6 adapted) Shoplifters - Hirokazu Koreeda Eighth Grade - Bo Burnham The Favourite - Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara First Reformed - Paul Schrader

And the Layokie goes to… Eighth Grade

Not to retread the obvious, but I think about Eighth Grade and its screenplay in much the same way as Avatar. Predictability and the use of stock plotting does not equate to bad writing, and even if you know exactly what’s going to happen (Kayla must end up with Gabe) it can be done in such a satisfying way that the story still sings (which is the reason why the same story lines continue to be retread). From early on, we can guess pretty much what Kayla’s arc will be, but the fact that it plays out in just the right way, so that you can’t really imagine it had the potential to be anything else, is what makes it such a high mark in screenwriting. Getting to this point in a screenplay is very difficult, because it’s usually only after figuring out the 50 paths not to go down that you realize the obviously correct one. When it finally clicks which Scene B should follow Scene A, the screenwriter too realizes that it couldn’t have been any other way, it just takes a lot of work to get there. I put Eighth Grade on for my second viewing while building an IKEA dresser a week or two ago, and it filled me with such glee. I was doubled over with laughter more than once and had to watch some scenes five times before I could move on.

Best Adapted Screenplay Annihilation - Alex Garland Beautiful Boy - Luke Davies and Felix van Groeningen Leave No Trace - Debra Granik & Anne Rosellini Mary Queen of Scots - Beau Willimon Sicario: Day of the Soldado - Taylor Sheridan

And the Layokie goes to… Mary Queen of Scots

Like I said above, I don’t really know anything about the historicity of this movie. Apparently the rabble-rousing preacher that everyone was supposed to hate actually was cool and founded my own church’s denomination? Anyway, I loved the way this was paced, only parsing out the information you absolutely needed and trusting you to catch up through its many jumps in time, expertly illustrated via cutbacks to Queen Elizabeth. The characters were complex (especially Elizabeth) and the dialogue was snappy. There’s nothing better than seeing someone in an authority position take someone’s shit just long enough before thoroughly dressing them down at the exact appropriate time, and Mary gets many such chances to shine thusly.

Best Director Damien Chazelle - First Man Alfonso Cuarón - Roma Yorgos Lanthimos - The Favourite Pawel Pawlikowski - Cold War Josie Rourke - Mary Queen of Scots

And the Layokie goes to… Alfonso Cuarón

Was tempted after another viewing to switch this to Damien Chazelle, but I had already written the following paragraph, and I’m too lazy to redo it. From the opening shot of Roma, two things are clear: you’re in the hands of a great director, and it’s a damn good thing you’re in a theater because it’s gonna be a long, slow ride. If you watched this on Netflix from start to finish without looking at your phone, I salute you (and I’ll say the same for The Ballad of Buster Scruggs). If you haven’t seen it on the big screen and live in LA, it’s currently playing at the Landmark and Vista, so check it out. Also how insane is it that Cuaron will likely win the Oscar in this category this year, making Mexican directors winners in this category 5 out of the last 6 years? Specifically, Cuaron, Alejandro González Iñárritu, and Guillermo del Toro, who were already known as the Three Amigos long before going on this stretch?

Honorable Mention Ari Aster - Hereditary Alex Garland - Annihilation Paul Schrader - First Reformed Stefano Sollima - Sicario: Day of the Soldado

Best Actress Emily Blunt - Mary Poppins Returns Lady Gaga - A Star is Born Joanna Kulig - Cold War Thomasin McKenzie - Leave No Trace Soarise Ronan - Mary Queen of Scots

And the Layokie goes to… Soarise Ronan

I’ve talked about this before, but it seems so many years I struggle to come up with a good list of best actresses (while supporting actress overflows with abundance). I had wondered if I was just a misogynist, but it became clear to me over time that there just weren’t nearly as many films with females in starring roles, let along female protagonists. However, not only did I have trouble paring down my favorites to five this year, there were many more female-driven films I could have drawn from. I really felt like this was a year for women in film, and it was great. The idea that women/minority leads can’t drive box office success seems finally to be a thing of the past, and it’s about damn time. This all probably comes across as liberal posturing, but if you know me well you’ll understand it’s really born from my own selfishness. First, I don’t want special treatment over anyone because I highly value fairness, and the reason highly value fairness is mainly because I don’t want anyone else to get special treatment over me. Second, I don’t care if a story is about women, black people, Asian people, aliens, some fish, or a fuckin’ toaster, a good story is a good story, and I don’t want to miss out one because some marketing executive wants to save his ass. Not once have I ever been not able to get into a film because the protagonist was a different age/race/gender than me. Even though some of them aren’t on this list, Annihilation, Ocean’s 8, Thoroughbreds, Suspiria, Roma, The Favourite, Widows, and Mary Queen of Scots not only had female leads, but fully female-centric casts, and all were either da bomb, fairly da bomb, or da bomb-ish.

Honorable Mention Yalitza Aparicio - Roma Claire Foy - Unsane Claire Foy - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Best Supporting Actress Olivia Colman - The Favourite Tyne Daly - The Ballad of Buster Scruggs Cynthia Erivo - Bad Times at the El Royale Nicole Kidman - Boy Erased Regina King - If Beale Street Could Talk

And the Layokie goes to… Tyne Daly

Pretty thrilled TBoBS is on Netflix, because I recently went back just to watch my favorite two segments: “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” and “The Mortal Remains.” Still not really sure what “The Mortal Remains” is all about ‘cause I’m not that smart about that kind of stuff, but damn did all five of them chew up the scenery, and none more so than Tyne Daly.

Honorable Mention Zoe Kazan - The Ballad of Buster Scruggs Marina de Tavira - Roma Rachel Weisz - The Favourite

Best Actor Ethan Hawke - First Reformed Nicolas Cage - Mandy Ryan Gosling - First Man Viggo Mortenson - Green Book Christian Bale - Vice

And the Layokie goes to… Christian Bale

I didn’t hate Vice, but it seems like everyone else did. I also didn’t love The Big Short, but it also seems like everyone else did, somehow causing the people who loved The Big Short to hate the Vice. But I don’t think you can deny Christian Bale on this one, or at least I don’t think you can triumph Gary Oldman in The Final Hour or whatever it was called, but deny Christian Bale in Vice. (Scroll down to see that I didn’t triumph Gary Oldman last year, even though he might have deserved it.)

Honorable Mention Mahershala Ali - Green Book Bradley Cooper - A Star is Born Joaquin Phoenix - Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot

Best Supporting Actor Robert Pattinson - Damsel Linus Roache - Mandy Timothée Chalamet - Beautiful Boy Harry Melling - The Ballad of Buster Scruggs John Malkovich - Bird Box

And the Layokie goes to… Timothée Chalamet

It’s about this time that I get tired of trying to come up with something to write for everyone of these, so I’ll take my comments of the air. Timothée Chalamet was great!

Honorable Mention Jake Ryan - Eighth Grade

Best Documentary The Dawn Wall Minding the Gap RBG Three Identical Strangers Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Syeeeke. Did I say I was done coming up with things to write? ‘Cause I got lots to say about this. First let’s get it out of the way. Free Solo is a mediocre documentary about some excellent subject matter. Jimmy Chin made another one of my favorite documentaries, Meru, that definitely did not get the acclaim it deserved, so if he finds that acclaim with Free Solo, then super. And if it wins the Oscar, I won’t be sad about it. What I will be sad about, is that another documentary, also about climbing El Capitan, The Dawn Wall, got totally overshadowed be Free Solo. I watched The Dawn Wall first, and I think that may have something to do with shaping how I felt about Free Solo, but The Dawn Wall had a better, more interesting, more likable protagonist, with a more interesting story to tell about himself and his climbing attempt and way better climbing material! Now, there’s no denying that climbing the full height of El Capitan without a rope is riveting, awe-inspiring, and completely insane, and the 5-10 minutes of Free Solo that actually cover that feat are impossible to top, but if for the other 90 minutes (both films are exactly 1:40) you’d like to watch a doc about climbing El Capitan, it has to be The Dawn Wall. If you’d like those 90 minutes to instead be about a whiny guy who lives in van, then by all means, champion Free Solo. I don’t want to say too much more about why I think it’s better, because I want people to see it and experience it. Hopefully it starts streaming soon. (And if you did see and like Free Solo, please check out Meru, which is currently streaming on Netflix.) The other docs were also great, and what a shame that Won’t You Be My Neighbor? didn’t get nominated for an Oscar, which made me cry evertim.

And the Layokie goes to… Duh, The Dawn Wall -- (See how the wall below makes Alex Honnold’s Free Rider route look like the freaking Aggro Crag from Nickelodeon’s GUTS?)

Best Foreign Film I only saw: Border Capernaum Cold War Roma Shoplifters

And the Layokie goes to… Shoplifters

Now, as always, on to the fun stuff:

Refuse to Watch Any more Clint Eastwood Movies

The 15:17 to Paris was truly a straw-that-broke-the-camel’s-back-breakingly bad movie. Literally worse acting and writing than some student films I’ve seen. And I’m not talking about the Student Academy Awards, I’m talking about the ones I watched from my own peers in my own undergrad film classes. And I’m not talking about some USC or UCLA film classes, I’m talking about University of Oklahoma film classes, where they actively did not give us film equipment to use, because we were a studies program and not a production program, even though no one there wanted to do anything but be writer/directors, and they seemed to resent us all for that fact so we had an edit bay in like an old closet or something and it was on one of the original iMacs with the hockey puck mouse and everything. The last tolerable Clint Eastwood move was Mystic River don’t @ me.

Great in Everything Award Joaquin Phoenix - You Were Never Really Here, Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot, The Sisters Brothers, (and when do we get to see Mary Magdalene??) Cynthia Erivo - Bad Times at the El Royale, Widows

Best Lesbian Rachel Weisz

Deserves Discussion Damsel

Hmm, a New Wave Anit-Western starring Robert Pattinson with folk dancing and real-life weirdo non-actors, an obvious grand slam slam dunk, right? Wrong. Boy do I wish I had known the Zellner Brothers were also the ones behind Kumiko the Treasure Hunter before going into this. I could have at least prepared myself for all the meandering. I don’t really mind meandering if it serves a story/theme, say like in another seminal film in the genre, Meek’s Cutoff, but you can miss me wit dat meandering for meandering’s sake. The script for Damsel is a great example of an antithesis for what made Eighth Grade so great. The meandering here is not only in the physical sense, but also in the story sense, where no scene absolutely had to happen, and nothing in particular means anything. You would think that a character strapping dynamite to themselves and walking a few miles would fill a theater with Hitchcockian dread and similarly provide a Hitchcockian catharsis when that character eventually blows up. Instead, it’s just one more in a long line of things happening that never add up to what we would call a “story.” Like in Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, the interesting parts that never make up a whole are in themselves still interesting, and I’ll forever be grateful for that film’s gift of the discovery of the Yamasuki Singers. In the same way, I’ll forever be grateful to Damsel’s opening credits sequence, the chance for another stellar character performance from R Patt, the incredible mise-en-scène, and for giving Mia Wasikowska another opportunity to put a mediocre film on her back and carry it to the finish line (what if some day she starred in a good movie??). Perhaps my harshest criticism of Damsel is also one of my proudest film-watching moments. The film’s true lead isn’t even featured on the poster; it’s a character named Parson Henry, portrayed by David Zellner. About 3/4 of the way in, I thought to myself, this actor is so absolutely lacking of anything you could call charisma, I bet it’s the director and he cast himself in the lead role, and you know what? It was. *sunglasses emoji*

Best Song All of the Stars

Best Score Tie: First Man and Isle of Dogs

Many LOLs Avengers: Infinity War Eighth Grade The Favourite Mandy

Most Surreal Movie-Watching Moment When me and Becca and Joe and Natalie went to see Rampage kind of as a joke when we had our Moviepasses so it was like whatev, and the theater was PACKED even though it was a week or two after it came out, and at one point The Rock is going in for a pound with the big white gorilla that he trained, and the gorilla fakes the pound, then flips off The Rock and starts gorilla-laughing at its gorilla antics, and the audience went. fucking. NUTS. Like it was the purest moment of comedy that ever existed. It was a Sullivan’s Travels-level eye-opener for me. Give the dumb galoots what they want, and what they want, is to see a gorilla give The Rock the finger.

Most Non-Fun Fun Movie Ready Player One

Please Stop Giving Melissa McCarthy’s husband bit parts in Melissa McCarthy movies (didn’t hate The Happytime Murders btw)

The Something Award Sorry to Bother You

The Nothing Award Crazy Rich Asians

Best Scenes Annihilation - Watching the camcorder footage Aquaman - Escaping the trench creatures Bad Times at the El Royale - Any time Darlene sings The Ballad of Buster Scruggs - All of “The Mortal Remains,” which was basically a single-scene segment Eighth Grade - Chicken nugget dinner The Favourite - The dance (putting my fingertips to my mouth then and then giving it a chef’s kiss: “MWAH”) First Man - the m-er f-ing moon landing (damn that was good, had me on the edge of my seat in both viewings) Free Solo - Despite what I said above, for a stand-alone scene, you cannot beat the final climb Incredibles 2 - Jack Jack/racoon fight The Girl in the Spider’s Web - the motorcycle escape Mandy - So many, but it has to be the Cheddar Goblin Mission Impossible: Fallout - The bathroom fight The Old Man & the Gun - When John and Forrest meet Outlaw King - When they finally(!) had sex A Quiet Place - The very beginning when the whole theater went silent Roma - Fermin’s naked martial arts, Fermin’s denial (so sad!), and the fire A Star is Born - v basic of me, but you cannot deny the first “Shallow” performance The Strangers: Prey at Night - The pool scene Upgrade - The first upgraded fight Won’t You Be My Neighbor? - A lot of them, but it has to be “It’s You I Like” at the end

Best Visuals Annihilation Cold War Mary Poppins Returns The Ritual

Worst Movie of the Year

The 15:17 to Paris (turnoff)

A Wrinkle in Time (walkout)

The Nun

Fireworks

The Meg

Winchester

Rampage

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Hold the Dark

Fahrenheit 451

Sadly Missed/Haven't’ Watched Yet At Eternity’s Gate Blaze Burning Destroyer The Kindergarten Teacher Lean on Pete Madeline’s Madeline Mid90s Never Look Away Private Life Support the Girls We the Animals The Wife

Absent on Purpose BlacKkKlansman Black Panther Blindspotting Bohemian Rhapsody

[recentanimenews]

THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL RE:ZERO REWATCH Endures Heartbreak In Episodes 11-15

Hi people! I'm your host for this week's GREAT CRUNCHYROLL Re:ZERO REWATCH, Carolyn Burke! Time has been really flying by during this particular rewatch venture as we zero in on the last two weeks the Re:ZERO rewatch! Last week's episodes 6-10, we saw the revelation of Rem's demonic nature and Emilia and Subaru grew a little closer as he sought emotional comfort in his friend... and all of that is about to come crumbling down in this week's episodes 10-15. Let's just say we're about to build on commenter Pure6Evil's disdain for Subaru. Ready or not, let's go!

  Before starting this rewatch we heard a lot of things about Rem being Worst Girl. For a while there, it wasn't too hard to see why. But this block of episodes has shown a gentle, very loyal side of Rem. How are we all feeling about her at this point?

  David: I have to disagree with this premise. The season this show aired, she was essentially the most popular character of the season, if not the whole year. One of my personal Discord servers has a whole channel dedicated to posting Rem fanart. To properly answer the question though, yeah, I like Rem.

  Joshua: People were saying Rem is worst girl? Just who's been spreading these lies and slander? Why, I oughtta give em a piece of my mind!

  Rem's sweet, adorable, and her willingness to stand by Subaru no matter how much he degrades himself is admirable, but she's also a truly tragic figure. She has no sense of self-worth and cannot see the qualities in her that I described, because shes always comparing herself to Ram, and shouldering the blame for what happened. I know how hard it can be to watch talented siblings succeed while you flounder, so I can empathize with Rem. I like her and want her to be happy, but falling for a guy with his heart so set on another, also makes me feel sorry for her.

  Paul: I don't want to see Rem end up as Subaru's doormat. Their relationship is deeply unhealthy, imbalanced, and rooted firmly in Rem's internalized sense of worthlessness. Much as Subaru fixates on Emilia and frames his own selfish behavior as self-sacrifice, so too does Rem fixate on Subaru, and I don't see much good coming of that.

  Jared: I'd always assumed she was the popular one of the twins. I think she has a good deal of complexity of growing up and feeling inferior to Ram, which was something I wasn't expecting. Nothing about her seems offensive. Although, like Paul says, I don't like the way the relationship between her and Subaru is heading. You can do so much better than him Rem!

  Rene: As much as I would love this to be a reality, Rem really is far away from being categorized as Worst Girl (except by people like me who dunk on her for fun). I do strongly agree with Paul on her unhealthy relationship to Subaru and have always had a problem with how her entire backstory was basically shoved into one flashback episode as almost every other character gets a much more natural development. And while she does get one of the most beautiful scenes in the show later on (if viewed in a vacuum), my main point of contention with her is that she feels somewhat artificial and too much of a wish-fulfillment in a show that otherwise revels in denying exactly those positive feelings to its protagonist and the viewer. While I did find her intriguing in the beginning, but she devolves too much into idealistic waifu exhibit A for me. Maybe if she weren't so heavily defined by Subaru, I would find her far more interesting and likable.

  Noelle: People really say Rem is worst girl? Really? Why? I think Rem has her flaws, but those flaws are part of her character, and honestly make her more interesting. She isn't my favorite type of character, but I think if they explore her co-dependency with Subaru and her internalized poor self-image, she could be really interesting? She has a lot of potential.

  Kevin: Ever since the first time I got to this point in the show, I was definitely a Rem fan. I can see Emilia's appeal, but I realized over time that her and Subarus relationship brings out the worst in each other, and is largely based on making up excuses to disobey the other. Meanwhile, Rem and Subaru's relationship is generally built on mutual trust and tends to bring out the best in both of them. Also, Rem can kick ass on her own, while Emilia needs a spirit whos only awake during business hours.

  Kara: I mean, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't calling Rem Worst Girl just because she is the fave, but I wasn't impressed with her early on. While Ram is still my fave, the show really has redeemed Rem for me and now I think she deserves better than Subaru to be honest.

  Austin: Worst girl is news to me. I honestly like her a lot, even if I do like a lot of the other girls more. I think her admiration towards Subaru is cute and touching in a lot of ways even if it does get to be a bit much at times.

  Danni: I think that was kind of just us goofing on her being by far the most popular. After this batch of episodes, though, I think it might actually be the case. Now that she's in love with Subaru she's basically affirming Subarus actions as the show is trying to discourage them.

    There's a lot of contention (and prejudice) around this royal selection. Who would you choose and why?

  David: Crusch. She seems like the most level-headed candidate, the one that would be able to deal things out fairly. Everyone else has some inherent biases I wouldn't trust.

  Joshua: I'd swear my loyalty to Beatrice, but as she isn't a candidate, I'm also Team Crusch. She has an air of maturity around her that the other candidates appear to lack, and she's already shown not just humility, but how committed she is to her word. Not only did she take in Subaru, an ally of her political rival, but she gave him counsel, and upheld her contract even after Emilia had left. She definitely strikes me as someone who could be trusted to lead a country. I like Anastasia's design and dialect, but she strikes me as a bit of a warmonger!

  Paul: I don't know what the royal election really is, and I don't trust the information that's been provided so far, so I can't in good faith pick a candidate. When I realized that every contender is female, and that they were referred to as dragon priestesses, it set off every dramatic irony alarm bell in my brain. Why did the original royal family go into hiding? What hold does the dragon exert over the nation of Lugunica? The whole thing smells like a set up for human sacrifice, like the lottery in the 1981 movie Dragonslayer, and if this were my Dungeons & Dragons campaign, that's how I would script it for the big mid-story twist.

  Jared: Felt, because hell yeah let's tear down the idea of nobility and commoners and cause absolute chaos.

  Rene: The thing I love about the royal selection is how it doesn't have a right answer. While my allegiance obviously belongs to Team Emilia. if you look at it from the outside, everyone has their up- and downsides. Emilia has idealistic views in abolishing goals in abolishing racism and while she has a sense for what is appropriate to do in royal politics (as Subaru contrasts beautifully) but she can push that to the point of naivete. Krusch is certainly the most level-headed but seems to not have as strong a humane side to her. She's far from cruel but give off too strong of a military vibe. Anastasia has a similar aura around her, just that she is more focused on monetary concerns instead of the military. Felt doesn't want to rule and doesn't have the experience to do so but you could argue that not egotistically striving for power is a good quality of a leader in itself. The only real contender that seems to be exclusively on the negative side is Priscilla - but she has the fact going for her that there seems to be some reason why Al is such a loyal servant of hers. It is a mystery that makes her far more interesting than she should be. Its really great how each contestant is balanced out in a way that you don't automatically expect Emilia as the main girl to win because logically speaking, every one could rule the country in their own way and still work as a ruler that doesn't result into pure awfulness.

  Noelle: Crusch, absolutely. A leader who is able to take advice from their subordinates, but also has the ability to apologize when they genuinely make mistakes and work on assumptions is very important. Although, I find her the most inspiring leader from the group; the others definitely have their moments and things worth bringing to the table. Social change, economics, and criticism of the class structure are all issues and challenges that the general populace would face, and having goals oriented in that direction is important. The only one I can't really see ruling is Priscilla, but that's more because she seems to be a reflection of the current aristocracy. Her aim, if I'm reading this correctly, feels like keeping the norm, and that in itself is a position to take.

  Kevin: At this point, I don't think we really have enough information to be able to choose a side. We've followed Emilia, but have almost no idea what she wants to do when in charge (the most specific we know is that she wants everyone to be equal, and her sponsor wants to kill the dragon), and Felt doesn't even want to be there. The other three, we have even less to go on. So for now, I abstain from picking, but let's revisit this in a week or two.

  Kara: Give it to Anastasia, she sounds like she knows how to party.

  Austin: Felt! Emilia may be my favorite girl in the show but I desperately want to see how far her running mad with power would go, as bad as that may sound.

  Danni: Team Felt all the way. Burn it all down! I could also be swayed towards backing Crusch, if only because Felix is now my husband.

    Subaru and Emilia's relationship came into focus a bit more during this arc and he seems to have messed things up pretty badly with Emilia. Do you agree with her choice to walk away or do you understand where he's coming from? Do you think hell set things right in his next life or move on with Rem?

  David: Ignoring the questions about the future, nothing Emilia said or did was wrong. Subaru has gotten a lot in his head and needed to be metaphorically clocked at this point.

  Joshua: The worst thing Subaru did was double down when he should have back-pedaled. I cringed as he raved about how everything worked out because he was there, which was the breaking point for Emilia too. He shouldn't have disobeyed her orders in leaving the inn, and he shouldn't have made a fool of himself at the Royal Selection, but if he had owned up to his mistakes and apologized to Emilia, he could have saved himself.

  I get why Subaru was so incensed though. One of the rulers of the land went on an unchallenged, racist rant aimed at the woman he loves. I'd probably have made a fool of myself in the heat of the moment too, but I agree with Emilia that his reason for not following her orders, was his own selfishness.

  Paul: Subaru screwed up big time. He betrayed Emilia's trust at every opportunity, and he exhibits a really shitty sense of entitlement over her that has ballooned from troubling to downright unhealthy. She was right to cut him loose, just as everyone he clashed with was right when they told Subaru (in various ways) that he was way out of line. I don't want to see him run away with Rem, which I know they do in a set of alternate reality spin-off novels, because Subaru needs to fix himself first before he can even begin to consider pursuing a healthy, romantic relationship.

  Jared: Emilia has every right to walk away from Subaru at this point. His delusions of grandeur, self-entitlement, and arrogance causes him to break her trust by not listening to her and then embarrassing her at the royal selection. Plus, with how he acts afterward, he's the epitome of toxicity. So, I hope he doesn't try to just run off with Rem or anything like that. I think where we leave things in this set of episodes makes it so it's going to be extremely hard for him to try and set things right, but at the same time, I'm at the point where I'm rooting for none of the girls to have anything to do with him.

  Rene: This is the scene that made me completely fall in love with this show and ascended it to the next level for me. Its a fantastic payoff after 13 episodes of buildup. Subarus repeated failures/deaths and him being saved by Reinhardt, Rem & Roswaal may have laid the ground that this isn't a regular Isekai show in which the protagonist is the all-mighty superhero but this scene really cements that the world does not, in fact, revolve around him - which is something so many Isekai anime don't get right.

  What I love about this scene is the revelation of how Emilia cant understand what he has (seemingly) done for her. It should be obvious if you think about it for one second yet many Isekai have primed us to think that the protagonist obviously has the ultimate viewpoint - but how could Emilia possibly understand it? She does not know of the time-loop and from her point of view, Subaru just randomly showed up in her life one day, helped her find her crest (after which he had to be rescued by Reinhardt) and then forced his way into her life by becoming her butler, all while lauding her as an angel despite her never having done anything that would make it understandable to get this attention.

  And now this guy, after having seriously jeopardized her chance for the throne, expects her to be grateful! How could she possibly do that? If someone showed up in your life and ruined something you have been working YEARS for, anyone would react that way. The fact that she entertained him for so long really underlines her patience and willingness to get along with anyone.

  But while Subaru is a jackass who needed to be put down a notch, we can also see where he is coming from as we went through all the loops at his side. This makes the scene so powerful and recontextualizes the unhealthy wish-fulfillment fantasy that Isekai can really be if not written or executed well; Subaru even declared his joy about becoming the protagonist of such a story right after his arrival in Lugunica. So while I won't theorize about the future, as I have already seen the show, its really great to see the main character of a genre that can be notorious for only delivering simple power fantasies being put down for seeking exactly that and neglecting the perspectives and emotions of the people around him.

  Noelle: I adored this scene, because it's been a long, long, LONG time coming. Emilia was 100% correct, and that she still wasn't extremely harsh on Subaru is a testament to her heart. Emilia's part in the royal selection is a way to prove herself in a public setting to the military and the nobility. It's her chance to prove the strength of her ideals, to show what she has been planning and what she wants for the new government shed create under her rule. It's her chance to shine, not anyone else's. Subaru, in wanting to save her in the royal selection, is actually just putting a spotlight on himself. It's not helping her out at all, it's proving his loyalty and tenacity, but it doesn't show anything about Emilia's qualifications as a ruler. Subaru doesn't treat her like someone to serve, he shows that shes someone that he thinks should be coddled. In both putting himself in the forefront and not even supporting her that well, all he's doing is undermining what Emilia has been working for.

  Subaru has never once seen Emilia as a person. He has seen her as a prize to be won, one that he deserves because he is the protagonist. He's pretty frank in it this episode, and I love how he's finally honest about what he actually wants-- that the girl he's crushing on should feel grateful to him because he put all this work in for her. He did these nice things for her and so he should get rewarded with her love. He does things, so she should fall for him. Its what he deserves as the protagonist, naturally, because heroes should be rewarded with girls at the end. All Emilia wants is to be treated humanely, like a person, not as something to be feared or as a candidate, but for who she is. And Subaru sure is completely against ever seeing her as an individual and not as a trope, as a prize, as a heroine. You do deserve to get kicked to the curb, Subaru.

  Kevin: I think part of the reason the scene resonates so well is because we understand Subaru due to seeing his viewpoint for so long, but I don't think we're supposed to agree with him. He's basically saying that he deserves to be with Emilia because of how many times he's died trying to protect her, and that's not the basis of a healthy relationship. You never deserve a person, so I totally agree with Emilia leaving. As for how things will go in the next life and with the choice between Emilia or Rem... Begins laughing in spoiler-ese.

  Kara: She was completely right. I get that Subaru's circumstances are unimaginable. I really do. I can't imagine having to survive watching people you care about die over and over. But if he really loves her, then the number one thing he should be able to do is keep a promise to her. He doesn't even have the excuse of having gone through a loop where the meeting went badly without him. Subaru needs to check himself, and then check himself again... At least this explains the cagey reader comments. Up until now.

  Austin: Emilia is 110% in the right for walking away. As much sympathy as I have for Subaru, he took one step too far and started seeing himself as a bit too much of a hero that even death couldn't conquer and screwed up big time. I don't take back any previous comments of feeling bad for him whenever he dies horribly or breaks down under the stress of everything, but that doesn't mean that I don't think he needs to do a little self-reflection. That all said, when I first watched this I really hoped there would be a chance for Subaru to make things right with Emilia in a way that didn't undo the importance of the scene where she leaves him.

  Danni: DUMP! HIM! She was totally in the right without question. There's no interpretation of that scene that doesn't make it clear that he's in the wrong. I've been rooting for Subaru, which made that scene harder to watch than any of the gruesome scenes that followed it. It is refreshing to see his selfishness in self-sacrifice punished after I was just complaining about it last week. That also happened to be before his latest save point, so there's no way he can ever make things right. That doesn't mean he can't regain her trust, though, and I truly hope he reflects on it next week and they're able to patch things up.

    As always, what are our highs and lows for this week?

  David: The ENTIRE scene where they introduce the candidates, culminating in Felt simultaneously being introduced, rejecting the idea, and accepting the concept all at essentially the same time. That's some lore-as-plot being used at its height. While I don't dislike anything here, my low would be how abysmally Subaru treats himself and everyone he loves after the Emilia moment. It's very important to his character arc, but it really, really hurts to watch.

  Joshua: I really appreciate the first episode of this batch, where we learn of Rem and Ram's past. Watching Rem's insecurities manifest as twisted visages of her parents was hard to watch, but it was fascinating to see how even innocuous pleasantries made over the dinner table can, unfortunately, have the opposite effect. Her conversation with Subaru at his bedside was also really touching, with Rem's smile feeling so sincerely peaceful. If only Subaru had acted that cool in all of this week's episodes.

  Subaru's first return to the Roswaal mansion is also a great example of why less can be better than more. Seeing only the trail of blood and trinkets like Emilia's pin on the floor makes me wonder what exactly happened to her, what she had to experience, and what went through her mind. This uncertainty is worse than actually seeing it play out, which I think only added to our understanding of Subarus pain, because of the blame he carries.

  I do worry if the impact of deaths is being lessened by their repetition, though? While the series is doing a great job of showing their impact on Subaru, we've only just cleared the first half and Rems already died three times. How many more will it before I just think "Oh, not again"? Also, Beatrice didn't appear at all! What's up with that?

  Paul: This set of episodes was full of emotional highs, but if I were to pick my favorite moment, it'd be when Subaru after getting the crap kicked out of him by Julius in a fight that Subaru started lets the mask drop and essentially admits without realizing it that his affection for Emilia is one-sided and warped. It's rare that you see the ostensible hero for an anime be so reprehensible and so drunk on his own ego, and I appreciate that degree of candor. My low point would be the latest plot wrinkle with the witch cult. All of these threats are coming so fast and so furious that I don't really have a chance to digest them.

  Jared: The introduction of Felt into the Royal Selection, while I inadvertently spoiled myself on that earlier, was still fun and interesting with how much she was not having it. I've been also pleasantly surprised with how the show has tackled issues with prejudice and racism with regards to Emilia, as while we've heard rumblings about that, they really ramped up with this set of episodes. Low points were the witches' cult stuff which just felt hokey to an extent. Plus it is starting to seem like the numerous times we see someone die is becoming normalized. I'm curious how the series will try to introduce any sort of finality given that wed expect at this point that it'd just get rewritten and not matter.

  Rene: As I already wrote an entire essay above, I'll keep it short and concise: My High was (obviously) Emilia's breakup with Subaru while my low was the way Rem's backstory was handled. If she had forgotten a more fleshed out arc over the entirety of the show, maybe I would've ended up in a better place with her ...

  Noelle: My absolute high of this entire show so far was Emilia cutting Subaru off and his tantrum about it. I'm honestly glad that the show is shining a light on just how entitled this sort of attitude is. Watching that scene felt so, so satisfying. I think it's my favorite moment of the show overall so far? Also, seeing the candidates for the royal selection, and what each wants to bring to the table. That was pretty cool.

Low point is the witch cult, because while it could have a lot of potential, it feels more like they came out of nowhere?

  Kevin: High - Can I just say the entire last episode? Every moment wasn't necessarily the highest point, but everything coming together and leading up to Subaru carrying Rem out of the cave is one of the first things I recall when I think back on Re:ZERO. Low - Really hard to pick something I didn't like this week, especially with how strongly it ended. Maybe Rem struggling off of Rams back to save Subaru? I'm not sure if they ran out of animation budget or it was just a bad perspective, but it never looks like she really struggles, more like Ram just falls over.

  Kara: Gotta agree that my High Point was Emilia just having enough. Good on her. I'm not sure I have a low point, but my WTF Point is that credit roll at the end of episode 15. That entire sequence is now my sleep paralysis demon, complete with the intense orchestral music.

  Austin: The scene that introduces Betelgeuse is excellent. From how easily it paints how absolutely nuts he is to the complete emotional turn around that Subaru made it extremely unforgettable, even with it a bit hard to watch after Rem gets mutilated by the unseen hand. It also seconds as a great display of how powerful the Witchs Cult is in a way Subaru can understand and makes them as an antagonizing force a lot more interesting than just the reason Rem and Ram work for Roswall. As for lows, it's difficult to pick something, but I must say I wish Rem had a bit more self-worth since its a bit sad to see such a cute muffin sacrifice herself so much.

  Danni: My high and low points are pretty much all the same scenes this week. All the gruesome scenes and the sequences of Subaru selfishly centering himself were both hard to watch and important for the point that Re:ZERO is trying to make. All that being said, at this point, it's bordering on becoming simple torture porn, like when the camera and art make sure to emphasize Rems bloody, injured breasts. On a lighter note, they introduced a lot of great characters this week. Even Betelgeuse made me laugh out loud while being incredibly disgusted at everything going on. No Beatrice this week, though, so that alone means my entire week is shot. Thanks for nothing, Re:ZERO.

    COUNTERS:

Week: Barusu - 5 Subaru Deaths - 2 Methods of Death - Freezing, Beheading

  Overall: Barusu - 24 Subaru Deaths - 9 How Subaru Died - Disembowelment, Disembowelment, Stabbing, Curse, Combination (Curse+Dismemberment), Slit Throat / Torture, Suicide, Freezing, Beheading

Wow, what a heavy week! If you're dying to find out what's in store for Subaru and his friends, join us next week for episodes 16-20. If you're new, feel free to catch up on Re:ZERO and join us!

  Here's our upcoming schedule!

  -Next week, on October 11th, David hosts our penultimate week with episodes 16-20

-On October 18th, Danni will finish out with the final episodes 21-25

  CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH:

Episodes 6-10: From Apples To Demons

Episodes 1-5: Starting Life in Another Rewatch

Re:ZERO Introduction Questions

  What are your answers to the above questions? Were you spooked by the creature at the end of episode 15? Let us know in the comments!

-----

  Carolyn also writes for Bunny Ears and Cracked. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[reviews-by-high]

Review: Blackkklansman

Caution: Light Spoilers Ahead.

If no one's ever told you: there’s movies, and there’s movies when you’re high. Then let me tell you that the adage is 100% true, and in the case of my stoned experience with BlaKkKlansman (10 August 2018, dir Spike Lee), the film is powerful. Now I’m not going to spend a lot of time focusing on the racial politics at play with the movie because what this film does well is make its message clear. Any reader who has seen the film will know that amongst the dialogue this film is creating, one more internet-white-dudes words and opinions on the matter of racial politics aren’t needed. Not that the voices and opinions aren’t valued or don’t belong in conversation, but that another voice to the left leaning internet-white-dudes representation isn’t really any more useful than one less internet-white-dudes voice and opinion on racial politics in media at this point. Now with that said, it’s pretty difficult to review this movie ― even as subjectively as this review is ― without having some mention of racial politics. It also should be said that this review contains light spoilers. I’ll be covering some scenes, specifically the three speech scenes, as well as addressing other included media in the film and performances in the film. However, I’ll be doing it as best I can to an extent that is sufficient without giving away then entire scene. Even if you read this review before seeing the movie I would encourage you to still go see the film in theaters.

The first powerful scene happens right away when director Spike Lee opens with a very famous scene from the American Racial Melodrama Gone With the Wind. Gone With the Wind was a huge hit in America at the time of its distribution (17 January 1940, dir Victor Fleming), much of this is due to its over sentimentalization and romantic view of the American South. The scene that Lee inducts from the American Racial Melodrama ends with a massive scope of wounded confederate soldiers all laying in the dirt while a tattered Confederate flag flaps in the wind. If you’re a film major there is a fuck ton of meaning to be unpacked in that one scene of Gone With the Wind. However, what I got out of seeing that scene again ― only this time in the frame of BlacKkKlansman ― after about 32 milligrams of an edible, was the  Southern way of life for the God Bless’d White America is under attack and it needs protectors. And who better than the Ku Klux Klan to be the ghostly white knights that aggressively protect that racially oppressive way of life. What a great fucking message (sarcasm). Then switch to resident “soul brother” and protagonist Ron Stallworth played by John David Washington. The quick cut from an old American racial melodramatic blockbuster to BlacKkKlansman’s Ron Stallworth isn’t going to be the last time the film makes very effective use of juxtaposition. In fact Lee uses scenes from previous American blockbuster movies again later in the film when the KKK is having a cult ritual movie-night party. The boys in white are all seated in front of a projector screen eating popcorn watching yet again, another American Racial Melodrama Epic, Birth of a Nation (released 3 March 1915, dir. D. W. Griffith). Now, Birth of a Nation is a film that, if an individual at any point of watching that film thinks something along the lines of “hmm ya know what, this film is pretty good!” Then that individual should definitely rethink how he or she views other people, specifically people whose skin color and ancestral homeland differ from their own. Because Birth of a Nation is nothing shy from a Ku Klux Klan hero story wrapped up in, again, an old time American Racial Melodrama. This time however, while the film plays and we see the faces of Ku Klux Klan members in BlacKkKlansman watching the film, Lee also does periodic cuts to both Stallworth’s face having to watch the racist film from a window outside the cult room, and cuts to Jerome Turner, an African American speaker sharing his stories of tragedy and violent persecution, with the black college student union. For this reason, Lee’s use of juxtaposition is powerful because it contrasts the God-Bless-White-America KKK narrative ideas to the lives of black individuals and the persecution of the black community here in America at the hands of racially fueled violence.

The film’s power however doesn’t stop at complex juxtaposition, there are three speech scenes where the audience is greeted to powerful monologues from three different individuals: Kwame Ture played by Corey Hawkins, Dr. Kennebrew Beauregard played by Alec Baldwin, and Jerome Turner played by famed musician and Civil Rights Movement activist Harry Belafonte. I already previously mentioned how Turner talks to the black student union about the horrors he saw and experienced at the behest of racially motivated violence so I won’t discuss his speech scene more, though I do HIGHLY encourage you and everyone else to discuss Turner’s speech with their friends and other viewers of the film. Adversely, the speech scene featuring Alec Baldwin’s Dr. Kennebrew Beauregard was equally powerful, but not for its recount of racially fueled violence, or its inspiration to the black community, but because in what may be Alec Baldwin’s most convincing performance that I’ve ever seen, we get to see the very process of a man degrade down a scary spiral into racial hate and bitter bigotry. What’s so compelling about Baldwin’s performance is that even if you watched the movie on mute, by facial expression, posture, body language, and mannerisms alone the progression seen in Dr. Beauregard is not only extremely powerful but speaks for itself. The speech embodied a call for keeping America pure and white like the country should be — according to Dr. Beauregard — either by “sending them back,” or through violent alternatives. What struck me more was that in combination of the fear I felt sitting in my seat during this scene, was that the whole performance looked almost as if Alex Jones himself (controversial I know) had gotten up in front of the movie theater and did a two hour segment where he falls down a slippery slope into yelling some terrifyingly prejudice shit into a camera lens and ultimately ends on “God Bless (white) America.” I couldn’t tell you exactly why it is, but my high ass was legitimately feeling fear. Lastly, I want to commend Corey Hawkins for his performance as Kwame Ture. Hawkins who is no stranger to playing biopic roles, having previously done an exceptional job as Dr. Dre in Straight Outta Compton (14 August 2015, dir F. Gary Gray), absolutely fucking delivers on his speech as Ture. It’s a speech that everyone should see, black or otherwise, because to be completely honest it’s pretty damn inspiring. It left me feeling energized and good, and I’m not even black. Though all speech scenes tend to suffer from heavy-handedness at some point, Hawkin’s performance and the structure of the speech is absolutely gripping. So gripping that as early on as the speech was — within the first fourth of the movie I’d say — it sets the tone for just how viscerally powerful the movie is.

Lastly, the performances in the film were phenomenal. John David Washington takes the trope of a “soul brother,” and the trope of a determined black cop (think Denzel Washington in Inside Man 24 March 2016, Spike Lee) and masterfully blends them together. Not only that but he plays a character who is performing whiteness over the phone, a possible call back (no pun intended) to Sorry To Bother You (6 July 2018, dir Boots Riley) as well as an actual recount of the events that happened in real life Ron Stallworth’s book Black Klansman: A Memoir (16 January 2014 Police and Fire Publishing, Ron Stallworth). In another multilayered performance, Adam Driver as Flip Zimmerman absolutely nails it as well. I will preface by saying that from Girls (15 April 2012, created by Lena Dunham) and This Is Where I Leave You (19 September 2014, Shawn Levy), to now BlacKkKlansman and even his role as Kylo Ren in the Star Wars films, I’m a fan of Adam Driver. Adam Driver’s performance as a more experienced undercover Jewish (albeit non-practicing) cop faking as a Ku Klux Klan member while having to impersonate Ron Stallworth’s voice to the best of his abilities, is so well done I’m nothing shy of utterly impressed once again by the actor. As for the rest of the rest of the Klansman, Felix, Ivanhoe, and Walter Breachway, actors Jasper Pääkkönen, Paul Walter Houser, and Ryan Eggold absolutely convinced me they were bitter, angry men with nothing but utter contempt for black Americans and Jewish peoples. The kind of guys who would join and adopt the ideology of the KKK. These actors gave a scary realistic portrayal of their characters. However, with that said, I’ll admit that Topher Grace as David Duke left me thinking only one thing, “How the fuck did Eric Foreman get into the KKK?” Because let’s be honest... I don’t think Topher Grace will ever do a more iconic role. Yet having Foreman as the leader of the KKK does fit nicely with the idea of Ron Stallworth putting his foot up the Klan’s ass. On an ending note I also want to acknowledge Laura Harrier’s performance as black activist, student leader, and love interest Patrice. She plays a vital representative role as a powerful individual and courageous black woman in a leadership role providing a platform for the black demographic in the films Colorado Springs setting. (I would talk more about setting is a character in this film but this post is already pretty lengthy, just know that Colorado Springs is historically far right-wing conservative.) What’s more is the importance in the dialogue between Patrice — who fights for black activism and fair treatment through speech, platform, and protest — and Stallworth who is fighting for the same cause but from within the system. The conversation and dichotomy between these two in the film is an important discussion on different methods to similar means.

Now I know there are A LOT of things this review didn’t cover, however it wasn’t really my aim to comprehensively cover BlacKkKlansman. More so it was to provide maybe a different perspective of thoughts and experience watching the film from what other more rudimentary reviews might say. Most importantly though, what this review is above all, is nothing more than me getting stoned, watching a cool movie, and then writing some words about it.

With that said, the last bit I want to leave you all with is there are a lot of small easter eggs in the film. Obviously there is the footage from Gone With the Wind and Birth of a Nation, but also the soundtrack uses the same theme — Steve Switcharoo by composer Terence Blanchard — as another famous Spike Lee movie, Inside Man. There are many more in the film and I’m sure I didn’t catch all of them, after all I was pretty baked.

As far as ratings go, Rotten Tomatoes gives BlacKkKlansman a 96%, Metacritic a 76%, and IMDb rates the film at 7.8/10. For those not familiar with my rating system, I use a system akin to John Oliver’s arbitrary and absurdist rating system. Therefore, with all said and done, between having-your-campsite-raided-by-bears-while-you’re-not-looking, and sky-diving-into-a-ball-pit-the-size-of-Lake-Erie, I give BlacKkKlansman a having-pizza-on-Sunday.

PM

p.s. I now want more buddy-cop thriller with John David Washington and Adam Driver.