#feels so stupid bc i’m seeing her tomorrow anyways

[lizard-rustler]

i hate missing her because i cant do much else except miss her 😭 the the thoughts of her freeze me in place and hold me down so i cant focus on anything else. god she’s gonna be the death of me

[favroitecrime]

twitter whacking that “i want it all” performance with kourtney and carlos & saying seb should’ve been ryan… maybe i don’t hate twitter

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, Depression

Another week passed and I was still at my Grandparents. I’ve been here for 3 weeks now. Even my Cuz went back to university. Yesterday I had my exam. At least this thing went well. I passed it with almost maximum points. And yet I couldn’t be happy about it for long. I wasn't feeling well. My depression had reached its peak again, so I couldn't go to work this morning. I lay in bed all day long, staring at my walls. This still felt better than leaving my room. Just thinking about it, overwhelmed me. But I called my therapist. I told her I was pregnant. I haven’t seen her in weeks. Those group sessions I once mentioned, were okay, but I missed much. Anyway, she wanted to see me. She asked me to come to her practice tomorrow, to talk about my panic attacks and some other stuff. She also advised me to continue my medication.

 My Grams was worried about me. She noticed that Nico didn’t come to me anymore. So I told her he broke up with me and that I had to divorce Daniel. And I’m going to file the divorce petition, but getting a divorce is not as easy as I thought. Tbh, it seemed impossible!?? That... person/DA, who handled my divorce, simply did not accept the reasons I gave her for my divorce. She said it would take at least a year, bcs Daniel wasn’t there, and who knows? Maybe we’ll make up, she meant. 😡...Agh, it's going to be complicated. And Daniel will be back soon anyway. Nevertheless, we will not divorce, but we’re not gonna be together either. 😫

That evening, my Parents and my Sister came by at my Grandparents. My Mom wanted to know what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I come back home? My Grams was a little tense when my Mom started to get upset about me. But my Mom was just worried. I was pregnant! What happens now? Do I keep the Baby or not? This was still not quite clear. I had an abortion appointment in 3 days. My Grams got so mad at my mom for talking about that! But my Mom never told me to abort my Baby neither my Dad! They just didn��t know what I really wanted!!??... Am I getting a divorce? Am I keeping Nico's Baby? Why isn't he here? Are we even together? And why am I alone in my room crying? My Parents wanted answers!

And Ana was still confused about my pregnancy. She still thought Dennis might have knocked me up. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️Ana thought I was so sad because of that. So she finally decided to talk to me about this thing! She came over to my room. But somehow we both did not succeed in talking to each other. I admit, it was hard for me to look at Ana, without having to think about Adam. I mean..... I don’t hate Adam. Still, what he did to me was disgusting. And Ana also had that gross pic of Adam and me in her mind. She didn't feel comfortable around me. Ana & I weren’t mad at each other, we just needed some time, I think. 😞

Ana: Hey, A..... You ok?

Me: Hi 🫤

Ana: I’ve known you were pregnant for 4 weeks, I noticed when you took a pregnancy test. I didn’t want to ask you about it. You know?..... I’m happy for you, if you want a Baby, but... I’m not happy for Daniel. 😞

Me: Yea, that’s why I can’t be happy about it, even though I want a Baby.

Ana: You don’t have to...... do this, if you’re not sure. 🙁

Me: I love N. 😞

Ana: Honestly, A.! Can it be that you do not know exactly who you are pregnant from?? Dennis, you know? You were totally high! Maybe you slept with him and don’t remember?

Me: It's Nico's Baby. Trust me, I know when and how it happend! And I didn't sleep with Dennis!! We were going to, but... well, you know what happend. Adam interfered. And before you ask.... NO, I didn’t sleep with Adam!!

Ana: I know! He was just a few mins alone with you.

Me: You staying here tonight?

Ana: Why don’t you come home?

Me: Um.... I’m tired.

Ana: Ok...... I go back over.... Grama fears Mom and Dad will soon get divorced too, like our stupid uncle....

Me: I don't care. They are 41! They’ll know what they’re doing.

Ana: Whatever you say.

Like I said, I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to Ana. Honestly, I also felt a bit humbled because she thought I didn’t know who I was pregnant with.

Previous/Next

[evansbby]

DETAILS?!? PLS//

so I’ve known this girl for like two years, we met at uni, and she’s rlly nice. we’re really close and do a lot of stuff together (yes, I feel bad about doing this behind her back 😭). we’re in a lot of the same classes, so when we have an assignment or have to study, we meet up, and do it together. a few days ago, she invited me over to her place to study. who opens the door when I get there? the most delicious man I’ve ever seen in my lifeeee. man is 6’7, puerto rican, biceps the size of my head and has sleeve tattoos 😖😖 he’s like 43/44, I think? we eventually settled in their dining room to study, and from there, you can see into the living room if that makes sense. so I was waayy more focused on watching him than my studies. we were constantly flirting every time he ‘checked on us’ or if I saw him in the kitchen or hallway. did I act stupid so he could help me? abso-fucking-lutely. (he’s so smart which instantly makes him ten times hotter) anyway, it got really late and I got an uber there, so he offered to drive me back home. long story short, we started making out when we arrived at my apartment, and I ended up giving him head in the car 😭. I told him that I’m a virgin, so we exchanged contacts so he can, and I quote, “take my time with you”. so yeah, he’s coming over tomorrow to blow my back outt LMAOO. this happened like a few days ago, so he’s been teasing me endlessly on the phone 😪😪. plus, my bsf knows there’s a guy bc she saw the hickeys on my neck, she just doesn’t know that the guy is her dad 😬. I’m sorry, but he TALKED ME THROUGH ITTT. like I can’t not hook up with him 😭

PSA!!! before anybody says anything, he’s divorced and single. I’m 21, and I only JUST met her dad, so he didn’t know me as a child 💀

Okay firstly, a disclaimer; I know you’re an adult and you can make your own decisions. But I just have to say this, bc I’ve been staring at this ask for a while now thinking of how to answer it, PLEASE DO THINK THIS THROUGH! And yeah, maybe I’m being a party pooper but do think it through and if definitively yes, then go for it girlie!!! I know you are a legal, consenting adult. But yeah pretend I’m like your older sister with your best interests at heart bc this is what I’d tell any friend or cousin of mine who is 21!

EDIT: I FORGOT TO SAY THAT MUSCULAR PUERTO RICAN DADDY DILF WITH TATTOOS SOUNDS LIKE THE DILFIEST DREAM DOME TRUE BESTIE FR 😭😭😭🥵🥵

[eudaimonia83]

So, I love Gwyn. Adore her. She’s one of the few characters in this series that I love unequivocally. (See also: Lucien, Emerie, Cressida.) And I think her kindness, along with her past trauma, would eventually put her at odds with the NC and its current (abhorrent) power structure.

So that’s what I wrote into this particular excerpt: Gwyn’s moral dilemma, after she hears a particular confession from Elain. And her conflict between her need for safety and the idea that it might be an illusion. (Plus some Gwynriel goodness, bc let’s have everyone be fundamentally different from Feysand from here on out, plz and thank you. 😁)

——————————

“Something happened,” [Azriel] said. It was not a question, but Gwyn shook her head anyway.

“It’s not important.” She sheathed her blade and turned to go. “I have early service tomorrow…”

“Don’t lie,” he murmured, and the shadows chittered again in concern.

“I’m not lying,” she hissed, anger flaring briefly that he’d caught it so easily.

The flash of hazel beneath a raised eyebrow. “You attend the dawnsong services twice a week, same as the other postulants, and you’ve already done your two or you wouldn’t come up here in the small time you have to sleep.” He crossed his arms, siphons gleaming blue as they caught the moonlight; a flash of cobalt among black, ocean moving restlessly beneath stars. “What ails you, Berdara?”

“Have you been spying on me?” she shot back. “How do you know that?”

“I am the spymaster,” he said, supremely cool and self-assured. A stab of annoyance pierced her, smack in the middle of her chest. Oh? He knew everything, did he? Smug bastard.

“Then you must already know, so why should I tell you?” she challenged him.

The silence that fell chafed at her, enough that she looked up at him — the opposite of what she’d meant to do. He was watching her from beneath hooded eyes, his features blurring into shadow, but she could feel his gaze almost as a physical touch. Seeking, seeking, always wanting to know more…

“What happened is the least important part of an event,” he finally said. Halting. Thoughtful. “The reaction of those involved — that’s the missing half of any story. And that tale can only come from the people themselves. From you…yourself.”

Was he…unsure? The confident shadowsinger? A tremor swept through her. She thought that would’ve made her feel triumphant, but it turned to dust in her mouth even as it happened. And the dust became a pulse of nausea, like the world was falling away.

…Can I tell you a secret?

Elain’s words throbbed in her skull. She put her hands shakily up to her head, her vision blurring, and swayed on the spot.

He was beside her in an instant. One arm swept around her shoulder, the other at her elbow. “Sit down, Berdara.”

It didn’t even occur to her to argue. She bent her knees, intending to slowly sink to the sand floor, but they buckled beneath her and she flopped down with a huff of air. He knelt next to her, wings spread as if to shield them both.

She breathed slowly, swallowing hard, until her vision slowly cleared. Fuck. What would he think of her now? A weak-willed child who couldn’t even bear what was inside her own mind?

He knelt, and she sat, the quiet of the night growing ever colder as midnight ticked by. Until their breath clouded around them. Until finally, finally, in a small and tired voice, she said, “I’m well. I should go to bed.”

“Don’t lie,” he said, the faintest note of amusement tilting his inflection up at the end. It was like hearing him smile. “You’ve not been well for months, Berdara. What happened today to make it worse?”

She shook her head.

A pause. “Was it what I said? Just now?” He shifted away slightly. “I only intended to correct your form —“

She laughed, a burst of a bubble inside her chest. Of course not, how could he be so stupid? “No, shadowsinger. It wasn’t you.”

The secret was so close, wanting so badly to spill out. She couldn’t. She’d promised Elain she wouldn’t. But the weight of it…that Elain didn’t feel protected, the beloved sister of the High Lady. Nesta hadn’t either; and she had been right, they’d sent her to the House of Wind and failed to protect any of them when they were kidnapped into the Blood Rite. Emerie hadn’t either, and her lovely wings were still mangled, breaking Gwyn’s heart every time she stretched them awkwardly. The thought that yet another vulnerable person didn’t feel safe here…that the leaders, who had guaranteed her safety and the safety of the other priestesses, might not have their best interests at heart…it felt like rocks, strapped to her chest and shoulders. Like opening a door to a familiar hallway but finding only open air beyond, and falling helplessly. If Elain went searching outside for answers because she felt she couldn’t trust Rhys and Feyre, how would any of them be able to trust them?

The shadows swirled gently around her, nudging her hair, swirling around her forearms. At least Azriel was here. He was an agent of the Night Court; but was he not also her friend?

She clenched her hands in the sand. Everything was falling away…

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Le prophète (Karlsruhe, 2015): Reactions, Part I

new (ish) filmed production of le prophète just dropped??? there go any other plans i may have had for this friday night

no loitering allowed

this chorus is essentially just “thank fuck that it’s sunny and not storming” which…i get it bc i live in tornado alley, but also as we come out of a VERY hot summer…storms are nice every once in a while

also: no room for sun in a neon capitalist/oligarchist hellscape

berthe’s got rocker girl vibes!

the waitress: “eh might as well listen to your story not like i have anything better to do on company time”

this does not feel very heterosexual on berthe’s part

edit: scratch that apparently that was fidès, in which case…why have her come in before she’s supposed to be there, director

also though: as a friend said, (paraphrased) “if y’all ship filippo and rodrigo i should be able to ship fidès and berthe bc it’s basically the same thing”

“tomorrow this place is ALL YOURS!!!”

(we love women business (co) owners)

she got all her papers in order, she’s done everything RIGHT, and yet…

THE ANABAPTISTS ARE HERE

also: i’m sorry but i find it so fucking funny that they’re dressed up like mormons. idk why that’s so funny to me but i saw a production of the barber of seville once where one of almaviva’s disguises was as a mormon missionary and i lost my shit laughing. anyway back to the opera

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THEY WENT TO FIDÈS’ PLACE THAT MAKES THIS EVEN FUNNIER

(on the other hand, though: why is everything such a huge problem if fidès and jean live in the same town as berthe??? a big part of it is that berthe is asking to LEAVE oberthal’s domains. i wonder what the modern equivalent is)

“nah not interested” *slams door in their faces* yes you go fidès 

weird cuts but THIS CHORUS NEVER FAILS TO BLOW ME AWAY

the power of community organizing! (unfortunately done by people with…less than great intentions)

fun activities with friends: doing acrobatics and breakdancing on police cars

everyone reading each other for filth. it’s fun but they all suck

also, no picture but: LUCIA LUCAS IS IN THIS??? (she plays Mathisen) NICE!!!!!!!!

two brave women supporting one another we love to see it (also: one of the prettiest duets you ever did hear)

oberthal you little bitch

you’re just gonna leave her chained to that? 

WAIT OBERTHAL WAS IN THE BACK SEAT WITH BERTHE THE WHOLE TIME OH FUCK

talk about mood whiplash! (also: this chorus BOPS)

uh oh (also especially with the mormon missionary-esque costumes, their being at more or less a sports bar is hilarious)

jean is a tenor with no brain cells and he’s able to admit it, unlike most tenors with no brain cells

his dreams could be prophetic for real, or a fluke…but either way they are GOING to be manipulated 

“no sports. only our warped version of Jesus”

“guys. stop kneeling before me. i’m not Jesus or any warped version thereof”

(also i REALLY want them to start singing “hello”)

THE WAY HE LAUGHED AT THEM YES JEAN GET ‘EM

“DUDE, we’re not supposed to have beer”

“oh sorry”

he’s just a guy who really loves his mom and his rocker girl fiancée! 

so jean. about that marriage tomorrow.

oh HONEY

HOW DO YOU NOT SEE HER OH MY GOD

i’ll try to put the rest in a reblog bc apparently you can now only put in 30 images per post, which is STUPID and DUMB and i HATE it

[seasidepickup]

it’s october 24, 2020, i’m scheduling this to post in 2023, when i turn 20, see i don’t know if i’ll even be alive til then but if i am i think it’ll be nice to know i was thinking of me/you even now, how have the first few hours treated you so far? i hope it’s better than stupid i think you have a lot ahead of you and i really hope i’ll see this again someday, it’ll be a sign i think, anyway happy birthday

- (17 year old) Amal *****

checking in on july 31st, 2021

this year has been a little rough quite a few scandals but topped off by a girl i think i love so much that i can barely rmbr what the problems were abt not too long ago. it’s still hard ofc but we’re learning how to cope and deal w that ! you have a job now!!! i’m so proud that you did it, i think i’m gna leave it soon tho but that’s ok bc i’m trying to welcome change, maybe a little too much, things are looking up tho in the places i can control and ik it’s gonna get better from here so i’m excited for you. have u moved out future future amal? how are you and ***? it’s really good right now even tho we’re both struggling individually. havent said we love each other yet tho even tho i think we both do…. i hope all is well or that you’re taking it all well at least, hope to see you soon- (18 and 5 months old) Amal *****

March 15, 2022

I turned 19 not too long ago, and the birthday was good but so so lonely. i think that’s a problem within me, not based on who’s around me. Anyway, my first day of work at starbucks is tomorrow and i’m really excited, it’s gonna be pushing me, given that most of my shifts are hella early but ik it’s gonna be good for me and i have a feeling i’m gonna be there for a long time. I’m still in a relationship but i’ve been struggling mentally for awhile (nothing new) I hope i can figure something out soon, it’s different being depressed when you’re with someone, cuz it’s not just you who’s effected and u can really see how you’re feeling reflected back in how you treat people and how hard the simplest things turn out to be. I just want to be better and ik there’s layers to all this but i don’t want to be like this with her. I grew a lot last year, i’ll miss being 18 it was a really good time and i changed in ways i never thought i needed. But i also have a really good feeling about this year. I’m trying to be more practical, i’m also realizing how much i care abt my family and the traditional things that i can’t have with my untraditional identity, and that’s a doozy (ew lmao). I’m just trying to keep up, it’s hardest to keep up with myself tho. See you soon xx

May 28, 2023

I’ve been procrastinating this post, i haven’t really known what to say because so much has happened, and there’s so much that i don’t want to think about from the last few months. it’s a bit overwhelming, all the change. i’m an actual adult now, i have an internship, i’m in college, i’ve moved on from my last relationship and i’ve learned who i am outside of it. it’s bittersweet. letting that person go, and who i was with them, but it’s good. i needed all of that and i would never change it. i’m handing things better, but it’s scary of course. i’m in a place i never thought i would be when i started this thread. i have so much drive and passion again, self-respect and love too. i have plans but i’m learning that my mom was right, you can plan and plan but the universe (or god lol) might have something else in store for you, i’m welcoming all of that, albeit begrudgingly. but yea. i liked being a kid, i’m reverting to the things that brought me simple joy, like accessories and silly pens, my family and best friend, crushes, etc. i’m letting myself enjoy all the things i denied for so long. i’m learning no matter how much you have to say, sometimes you’re the only person who needs to hear it, take that as you will. but anyway, being 20… i didn’t think i’d live this long a few years ago, but i’m here now, i know i would be proud had i known where id end up. and deep down that 17/18/19 year old me is coming out to let me know that. in the little things that i do, in the ways i’ve surpassed myself and grown, they know what im doing, and what’s ahead of me, and how much better it’s gotten. i hope it’s only up from here. but i do know that the highs and lows are ok too, you can’t have highs without having lows and whatnot. i have a lot of healing and growing ahead of me, and i welcome that, because it’s got me this far, i have hope, faith, and trust in myself and the future, something that i didn’t allow myself to indulge in for so long, i hope more surprises are in my future, i know that the plans and beliefs d set in stone a few years ago are ever changing, and that’s ok, it’s not a betrayal to my old self. it’s just me looking out for me. and being mature enough to learn and understand my growth includes something different than what i wanted or believed when i was 17

- Amal :)

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

[likelylarks]

xx

doing a fucking cut bc i can’t handle the tags rn and the stupid limits and whatever and inability to correct spelling mistakes

but basically i have three (3) assignments due for my two grad classes: two are kind of bullshit and gimme and i should get an a in the class and it doesn’t matter

but one of them is worth 40% of the grade in my core class that i need to make a b (b+ ?) in and i can’t fucking? do it? and this is the part of the programming where i’d email my professor and ask for help or an extension or something for this fucking critical book review of the worst written nonfiction book that i’ve ever read (the grammar is bad! how can you focus on the content when you never learned how to write!) but i can’t email her because she hates me! and always sounds so fucking annoyed in her responses to me when she emails me back and she also always treats me like i’m stupid and i can’t fucking do it!

and so i am having a hard time breathing and thinking and even the idea of making a schedule to work to makes me want to die and i feel so bad that i can’t even do the easy gimme assignments

which she’s gonna mark down on anyway because she hates me and has no clear grading system and just fucking bullshits everything

so like, fucking panic attacks? and this shit is either due on monday or on wednesday and she hasn’t made it clear which it is and i can’t!!! do!!! anything!!!!!! like i’m gonna lose my fucking mind and die!!!

why the fuck did i decide that i was gonna go to grad school, like it’s to be a fucking school librarian but it’s not like i’d get hired for shit anyway and so it’s just another fifty thousand dollars in debt on top of the eighty that i already have and for what? to maybe fail a necessary class because my professor can’t make a helpful set of instructions to save her fucking life

and also! i’m just stupid!!! i can’t analyze things!!! i don’t understand complex issues!!! i read things and have no!! thoughts!!! like i can’t pick the social, legal, political, and personal/professional ethical issues out of this book about a librarian in the fifties!!! the instructions are “identify and describe” but what does that mean!!! because every fucking issue is all of those things!!! censorship and anticommunism and racism are all of those fucking things!!!! what do you mean identify!!! and describe!!!!! i have no fucking thoughts!!!! about this book!!!

and i certainly have no thoughts about the other readings in this class to connect it to but i can guarantee that any thoughts that i might have or bullshit...... more than 2500 maximum word limit because all of these things are fucking complex? like genuinely what the fuck

i think i’m just gonna go to target tomorrow and get one of those crappy shelves to build and replace this weird ladder shelf thing that i have just to feel something before going to nashville to see aladdin with my mom :/

[bubblybrian]

tonight after 7 and a half hours of dealing with parties and reservations and the 120 other tables i sat, dealing with hundreds of customers who treat me like utter garbage, and not eating the entire day, i went to taco bell and then walgreens because i wanted to get some things for easter. i get a call in the store from my aunt because my entire family has my location at all times. asks me to get 5 sets of the most expensive paper plates i see (they were over $6 for 20 plates. we don’t need 100, there’s 25 of us). if i buy the plates, i can’t buy the things i wanted so yes i decide to be selfish and tell her that exact thing because i can’t afford shit right now. she says real snarky “thanks a lot” and we hang up. so what do you know, i feel guilty and end up texting her to say i was getting them so i put all my shit back. i go to the gas station before going home and tell her i got the plates anyways and she says “well i already went to go get them” and i said “even though i texted you like 3 minutes later?” and she says “no you didn’t” and i said “check your phone, just because you didn’t open it doesn’t mean you didn’t get it” so she starts yapping as i’m walking away and i say “it doesn’t matter, i have to go somewhere tomorrow anyways” (even though i don’t) and i go into my room. from my room, i hear her down in the kitchen bitching about how the plates weren’t what she wanted even though i had asked her 5 times which ones she wanted bc i just wanted to get out and go home to eat. next thing i know she starts with the “i hope i don’t wake up tomorrow” and “i wish i was dead” and other attention seeking shit knowing how manipulative and triggering it is for me to hear. so i jog downstairs, grab my keys, and run for the door as she’s still yelling about these stupid fucking paper plates because how i got dragged into this is just fucking ridiculous and why i’m being yelled at for trying to be helpful is WILD. especially because i used my money from my $7/hour wages. i get back to the stair and return the plates and also get a nail polish that i wanted previously. i get home, go upstairs and paint my toes. and then of course i hear her go into my grandmas room and say loud enough for me to hear that i’m a liar because she didn’t believe that i was that broke. i go inside the room and ask her what she’s talking about before showing her my account that has $7 in it. and she pushes my phone out of my hand

[eviesaurusrex]

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Faceclaim: Dakota Johnson

author’s note: And here comes pt. 3 but you can read it without reading pt. 1 & 2 (but you should because they’re there and begging for your attention). Idk how we got from “Not gonna upload a social media blurb bc my brain is stupid” to “Oh, here is pt. 3 of the social media blurb lol have fun”. I just don’t know but I'm vibing with it. And I'm sorry that those blurbs are always so long but I always get carried away while making them. lolthisnotme is your super secret instagram account! (yes, I was too impatient to wait any longer before putting this one out in the open)

pt. 4 is here

;

yourinstagram Thursday Throwback (it’s Thursday, right? Right?!) to March 15 of this year, when the hard and dedicated work of the most important human in my life was finally appreciated by the industry and rewarded for everyone to see. Still, I am so incredibly proud of the achievement of your dream, and I can’t express how grateful I am to walk next to you through the funny thing that we call life. I love you with every atom of my being, H. To more dust collectors for our bookshelves and dining table ❤️

[tagged harrystyles]

Liked by harrystyles, gemmachan, annetwist, jefezoff, sophieturner and 6,432,162 others | 99,798 comments

gemmachan The evening was magical ❤️

↳ sophieturner It totally was!

jefezoff It still feels like a dream

↳ mitchrowland It does, right? Where is the trophy standing currently with all the renovations you two started anyway?

↳ yourinstagram It’s now in the kitchen 😂 I may have put a cookie in it by accident 👉🏻👈🏻

↳ pillowpersonpp 😂😂😂

↳ gemmastyles “by accident” *wink wink wink*

↳ hsfan1 Their dynamics 😩❤️

harrystyles In comparison to you, the award is nothing, my darling love. You are my dream come true - you and our little bean. I love you two with everything I have x H.

liked by yourinstagram, annetwist, imsebastianstan, lizolsen and 6,668 others

↳ yourfan1 Get yourself a man like Harry Styles.

↳ yourinstagram I told you to quit making me cry! You know I can’t stop for the next 30 minutes, and we wanted to go to Starbucks because they have the new banana split thingy, and I’m craving banana. And now we can’t go because I’m an ugly, swollen, and red mess 😭

↳ harrystyles You are a goddess, darling. I’m constantly in utter awe.

liked by annetwist, gemmastyles, yourinstagram and 4,607 others

↳ yourinstagram H 🥺❤️

↳ hsfan2 your honor, that’s why I’m gonna die alone and with a bunch of cats.

↳ hsfan3 Alexa, where do I find a man as perfect as Harry Styles?

↳ ynandharry Alexa, play Forever Alone by Smash Into Pieces

↳ yourfan2 Anne Twist raised the perfect man and let my standards in men skyrocket.

liked by annetwist, gemmastyles and 4 others

chrisevans Could you please stop spreading so much joy and happiness? Think of all the single people who are following you! Like me! 🥲 (Just kiddin’, bee. You know that, I know, but I have to put a disclaimer under that before someone is coming for you - or me.)

↳ marvelbunch I’m still single, Mr Evans, sir 👉🏻👈🏻

↳ yourinstagram You are aware of the fact that Lizzy is still single? *wink wink*

↳ lizolsen You are aware of the fact that I can read?

↳ yourinstagram …ooops.

↳ yourfan3 😂😂😂

↳ chrisevans Oh lord. Harry, take her phone away, now!

liked by harrystyles and sophieturner

harrystyles Tending to my crying girl because the barista told her that the Banana Split beverage is launching tomorrow (not today), and the stuff is still deep frozen. Got her usual favorites instead, hoping she would stop crying. Does anyone have some tricks up their sleeves I can learn? I hate to see her cry.

Liked by hsfan1, hsfan2, yourfan1, ynandharry, paulrudd and 19,447,872 others | 354,209 comments

yourinstagram Love, did you mix something up?

↳ harrystyles … oh.

liked by yourinstagram and 3,525 others

↳ yourinstagram Oh, love 😂❤️ Thanks for distracting me from the banana incident 😘

liked by harrystyles and gemmastyles

↳ hsfan1 I don’t think he wanted to post it here 😂

↳ hsfan2 wait, does this mean Harry owns another account????

↳ yourfan1 Who doesn’t nowadays?

paulrudd Getting her usual favorites was the right call, man! Do you tend to her cravings?

↳ harrystyles I do! Do I? yourinstagram

liked by annetwist, hsfan1, yourfan1 and 78 others

↳ yourinstagram He does a perfect job with that ❤️

↳ paulrudd Well, then you’re good to go. Pregnancy hormones are just a nasty piece of 💩

↳ yourinstagram No shit, Sherlock. He had to deal with my uncontrollable sobs over a freaking decafed Banana Split Frappuccino - more like over its non-existence until tomorrow morning.

hsfan3 Harry is already the perfect boyfriend and soon-to-be dad, he will be the perfect husband and the perfect dad 🥹

chrishemsworth Do whatever she wants or needs, and everything is good

↳ marvelbunch Chris knows what he is talking about! Just like Paul. Harry is in good hands 🙏🏽

jefezoff He only is allowed to use the gram while being under adult advisory from now on.

↳ yourinstagram Guess, that’s my duty calling

↳ jefezoff Ha, good one.

↳ yourinstagram 😦😦😦

↳ yourinstagram the betrayal. The audacity.

↳ jefezoff Whatever.

↳ ynandharry Jeff is like the dad of the group, and he is already so done with it 😂

yourinstagram Ever since taking that pregnancy test - well, more like before that fateful evening - Dorothy is even more clingy than usual. Animals must have a sixth sense; that’s the only explanation I can come up with. But I don’t mind because I am, too, more clingy than I already was before all of these hormones went havoc inside my system. And with Harry back at home, we manage just fine. Lots of cuddly nights in with our favorite movies and my favorite purring friend right on top of me because I seemingly need protection from a cat who hates being outside in the garden.

What I wanted to say (before starting to ramble): It is okay to be different than before. It is okay to be more or less intense, more or less touchy, more or less happy or sad. That’s all part of the process, and don’t ever let anyone tell you that your feelings and cravings are wrong or invalid (especially from men). They can just go to hell. Thanks for coming to my couch talk.

Liked by gemmachan, annetwist, pillowpersonpp, lizolsen and 3,859,441 others | 66,020 comments

gemmachan 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

pillowpersonpp amen to that (and you look stunning, bestie)

↳ mitchrowland +1 because it’s the truth

annetwist Perfectly said, sweetheart ❤️

liked by harrystyles and yourinstagram

lizolsen 💯

yourfan1 It’s so true! The goddess has spoken!

yourfan2 every man who dares to judge a pregnant human can go to hell.

↳ ynandharry there is a special place down there for such individuals.

hazfan Dot is such a mood

sophieturner that’s my girl ❤️ and pregnancy suits you very well, love

pillowpersonpp H is probably relieved to not feel like the clingy part in the relationship anymore 👀

↳ yourinstagram Believe me, he is even more so than Dot - but I’m the Queen of clinginess from now on.

liked by harrystyles

↳ harrystyles I love your clinginess, darling x H.

liked by gemmastyles, yourinstagram, sophieturner and 999 others

whoisharry Look. At. Her. God damn it. She is perfection. A radiant goddess who carries my baby, and I still don’t know how it’s universally possible for one human to be this lucky in life or if I deserve it to begin with.

I love you, sunflower. I love you, little bean.

Liked by mitchrowland, gemmastyles, niallhoran, annetwist and 8 others | 4 comments

mitchrowland You deserve every single minute and every single ounce of it, my friend. Always knew you two would be each other’s endgame (but without the dusting before that and the unnecessary goodbyes) ❤️

gemmastyles Like Mitch already said you deserve it, Haz. You deserve every good thing fate has in store for you. The little bean is just the beginning. I can feel it ❤️

niallhoran Harold Harold Harold. Do I need to call your loving girl to tell her to straighten your head?

↳ whoisharry Please don’t. She just fell asleep after a hard time with the damn food 😞

↳ annetwist That is entirely normal, love. Don’t worry too much. Do you still have the tea I sent you?

↳ whoisharry Yeah. She drinks it every morning because it’s the only thing she can stand after the morning sickness (and the night sickness… and the day sickness)

↳ annetwist It will get better within the next weeks ❤️

↳ niallhoran She is a tough peanut, man. She will push through this as she pushed through your shyness to take the first step and say Hello

↳ whoisharry Haha 🙄

lolthisnotme I just woke up, saw this, and now I'm lying in bed, you are peacefully sleeping next to me, and I'm full-on sobbing. I'm gonna kiss you awake to tell you how much I adore you.

lolthisnotme I think I found my preferred lunch for today 🤤

Liked by imsebastianstan, gemmachan, pillowpersonpp, gemmastyles, whoisharry and 7 others | 9 comments

imsebastianstan Are you holding the pizza, or is the pizza holding you?

↳ lolthisnotme Depends on who you ask 🤓

↳ imsebastianstan So the pizza is holding you, gotcha.

gemmachan Mind if we share?

↳ lolthisnotme Nope. That’s mine. Find your own.

↳ gemmachan Mean.

↳ whoisharry It’s food. Don’t talk to her if you try to steal her food

↳ lolthisnotme Harry is a fast learner 😊

↳ gemmachan I sense a violent story behind that

↳ lolthisnotme 🙂🙂🙂

gemmastyles The toilet will be your best friend after that pizza, remember that.

↳ lolthisnotme I don’t care (I do, but I’m so hungry, heeeeeelp).

↳ whoisharry We could get you a nice sandwich on our way home? With tomato and lettuce and some good cheese ❤️

↳ lolthisnotme And a decafed Banana Split Frappuccino?? 🥹🤩

↳ whoisharry And a decafed Banana Split Frappuccino if that’s what you want ❤️

↳ lolthisnotme Okay, I don’t want the pizza. Pizza is disgusting. I want sandwich. Can I marry you?

↳ gemmastyles 🥹🥹🥹 My one true paring

↳ mitchrowland Don’t mind us over here. We’re screaming (and I volunteer for best man - Sarah wants to be bridesmaid, thaaaaanks we love youuuuu)

;

I hope you enjoyed pt. 3! Comments, reblogs, and likes are much appreciated <3

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

it’s literally 3:13am in England rn. i have to be up at nine, and i’m just listening to harry styles, and his unreleased songs. anyways, i’m listening to his song ‘Baby Honey’ (it’s not released) and the second verse just came on and immediately, my mind went to eddie.

“Oh, I know he's got the money, baby honey, does he make your night?”

EDDIE TALKING TO Y/N ABOUT SOME RICH GUY WHO FANCIES HER

“Is it true he doesn't touch you in the place, the way I know you like?”

SELF-FUCKING-EXPLANATORY!!!

“And I swear that I'm not thinkin' 'bout you all the time,

“Just today, yesterday, every day and tomorrow night”

ASHFGDOPALRUSIKWDD I CANT BREATHE HE WOULD SAY THIS OMG

anyways, this has been the person who requested the tank top, the cologne, dilf eddie, etc, etc.

i bid you goodnight.

wet sweet dreams 😉

NO BC I WAS LISTENING TO THIS SONG YESTERDAY AND THOUGHT OF DOING SOMETHING WITH IT ALKSDJ;FA

i want you to imagine something for me: you're dating steve. he's rich, right? or at least his parents have a lot of money, and he's well-off. i think it would make such good sense here to use him, because for some reason, i think the song fits him as well!

maybe you & eddie had a little bit of a thing before you started dating steve. i'm thinking maybe a friends with benefits situation, where you were fucking with no strings. only both of you got attached and fell in love, but neither of you told the other. to avoid what you perceived as inevitable hurt, you ended the arrangement and began seeing steve instead. eddie was absolutely crushed, and began to plot a way to get you back. he would do it, even if it killed him--or ended in steve kicking his ass, at least. whatever it was, he would find a way to tell you how he felt and get you back into his bed, and his heart.

one night, he catches you leaving your place as you were heading to steve's. you don't want to see eddie, or talk to him; it still hurts too much. you try to avoid him, but he isn't having any of that bullshit. he takes you by the shoulders and gently throws you up against the outside wall of your house, his eyes pleading as they look into yours. his face is inches from your own, and you can't help but stare at his lips. there's so much longing, such an intense urge to kiss him until you were both fucking stupid. but you couldn't do that to steve; he may not have been eddie, but he was a wonderful man. you could never betray him like that.

“i’m sorry for just dropping by like this,” eddie murmured, offering an apologetic grin. “but i just had to see you.”

“why?” you question, your voice barely a whisper as you try to compose yourself. “it’s been seven months, eddie. i thought i told you to stay away. you were doing a damn good job of it, too.”

“yeah, well, no offense,” he says, “but i’m done staying away from you.”

“obviously,” you say with a roll of your eyes. “so, what do you want?”

"i know steve is charming, and he's got a ton of money that i don’t have," eddie whispers, getting right to the point. "but what does he do for you? hm?"

"a lot of things," you reply, still fixated on those lips before you flick your gaze to his eyes. "you wouldn't get it. if you’re here to try and get back into my pants, then just leave right now.”

"bullshit," eddie says, disregarding your last statement and laughing humorlessly as he puts one of his hands above your head. "i know he doesn't touch you the way that i do. he probably doesn't even know the place that makes you tick, does he? he couldn't; he’s too goody-goody and vanilla for you."

"and how do you know that?" you ask, feeling a little angry. "are you there, watching us have sex?"

"no," he says, feeling sick by the very mental image of it. "but i just know that he can't. no one ever fucked you the way that i could; you even told me that more than once."

"well, that was before i got with steve," you say, trying to convince yourself more than him. eddie was saying nothing but the truth, goddammit, and you hated that. "now, if you'll excuse me--"

"goddammit, y/n, will you just listen to me for once?" he pleads, his free hand holding your jaw as he searches your eyes. "i don't give a fuck anymore. be with him, don't be with him, whatever. but there's something that you need to know, before you go out with him tonight. something that i've wanted you to know for so long."

"what?" you ask, a little impatiently. "make it quick."

"look," he says, taking a deep breath. "i've tried so fucking hard not to think about you. i've tried to erase you from my head, but you just continue to stay there. today, yesterday, every day, tomorrow night...all the goddamn time. i don't care if you feel the same way or not, because at this point, it's good to just come out and say it. i'm in love with you, y/n; i have been for so long, and i was too much of a coward to say anything before. then you went & got with harrington, and i...i knew that i fucking blew it. you were gone for good, and i never stood a chance anymore."

you're stunned into silence. you can't move, you can't speak, you can't do anything except look at him. you search his eyes for sincerity, to see if he means this or if he's only saying it to get you away from steve. you see that he's being genuine, that he meant every fucking word, and all you can do is pull him down for a passionate, hard kiss. fuck it; you knew this was wrong, but goddamn, did it feel so right. he was the man you truly loved, he was the man you wanted to be with, and who were you to deny both of you what you wanted?

he took you inside and fucked you that night, and you admitted that you felt the same for him. breaking up with steve the following day was hard, but continuing the charade of your relationship would have been even harder. you had everything you ever wanted now, and that was all you ever needed.

[onyxino]

Jealousy: Levi x Reader

Cw: None, well maybe, reader and Levi making out a lil bit?? Reader and Petra also make out kinda??  MDNI tho bc I don’t want your baby asses on my tumblr, I will block u, go play Fortnite.

Word Count: 1k

Being placed in the Special Operations Squad wasn't all intense training and serious situations.

Sometimes it was lighthearted and happy especially when you and Petra had an opportunity to mess with Oluo.

It was super obvious that the man was head over heels in love with Petra. He showed it in the weirdest ways, such as: trying so hard to be a knock-off copy of Captain Levi the man Petra was head over heels for.

-

"C'mon, Petra, Oluo is absolutely smitten." You say a goofy grin painted on your face.

"Oh no, not at all, he's just a stupid guy, who thinks he's all that" She protested.

"I don't know, Pet." You pause "He just acts a certain typa' stupid around you."

"I mean you're right...." Petra said resting her head in her hand.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!" You stand from the table and exclaim a little too loud for it being three in the morning.

"Oh? What is it?" Petra askes hastily.

"Okay so, we'll put this theory to the test!" You say proudly "I'll act like your girlfriend all day tomorrow and see how he reacts."

Petra immediately blushes, like fire spreading across her cheeks.

"You actually cannot be serious right now." The ginger replies sheepishly.

"Oh but I am!" You reply a devilish smirk playing on your lips, "Everyone thinks we shack up anyway!"

"They do?!" Panic coating Petra's reply.

"Nah, but I mean we are extremely close...and there was that one time where we made out after drinking a whole bottle of wine..." You say scratching the back of your head.

"Okay I'm in." Petra agreed.

--

The next day rolled around and as perusal You and Petra were glued to the hip as you two helped continue the cleaning efforts on the temporary HQ.

But this time you two were a little more touchy with each other.

This did not go unnoticed not by just Oluo but the raven haired man standing not too far away on the other side of the yard.

"What the hell is goin' on with you two?" Oluo came over hands on his hips nose in the air "You two are all over one another!"

"Oh? Are we?" Petra questioned turning to you.

"I guess we are." you say back "Though that does make sense considering, she's my girlfirend."

Oluo nearly bit his tongue off.

The shorter man not too far away almost faltered and dropped his rake.

"What!? When did this happen!?" He half yelled.

"It's always been." Petra bluntly stated.

The ravennette with his back turned to you guys, over hearing  everything knitted his brows together in confusion. "sense when?" He thought to himself.

"You two gotta' be pullin' my leg!" Oluo exclaimed shocked laced in his voice.

"Nope." you giggled "She's all mine." you confirmed leaning over to the ginger and sliding an arm around her waist.

Levi stopped all motion and slightly turned in order to see the actions taking place, he felt a slight pang of jealously in his chest as he turned just in time to see Petra and you locking lips.

"What in the holly hell?" He questioned face contorting in confusion.

Although seeing the two women locking lips like that sent heat straight to his crotch, it also made his blood boil with rage. That however, was an issue for a different time, currently the woman he had sought after was holding and kissing someone that wasn't him.

He knew he was thinking crazy, you weren't in anyway his...but deep down this feeling he couldn't shake was getting stronger.

Oluo had about fainted at this point and you and Petra were giggling uncontrollably.

--

Later that night, you seemed to be the only one left awake, finishing toweling off the last of the dinner dishes and carefully setting it in the cupboard before quietly closing the door.

You turned on your heels and were confronted by your captain standing less than 3 feet from you.

He dawned his night clothes, empty tea cup in hand.

"Evening, Captain." you greet with a smile.

The captain said nothing and just kind of stared at you, you could practically see the gears turning behind his eyes.

"Tch, I had no clue you were into women." He stated bluntly.

Your face contorted visibly, you were very confused and shocked at the sudden statement then it dawned on you, this was about earlier.

"OOOOH!" You exclaimed waving your hands in front of your chest in defense, "It's really not what you think, Levi."

"Then what is it like?" He asked.

"Me and Petra aren't a thing, we were trying to get at Oluo, who is obviously whipped." You explained scratching the back of your head.

The knot made of pure jealously and anger had faded in Levi's chest, he exhaled.

"So, you're telling me.." he cocked an eyebrow "That you and Petra made out in front of everyone this morning to screw with Oluo?"

"And it worked too!" You exclaim proudly, "Man's been screwed up sense, and he had a nosebleed for like an hour after."

"Tch." Was all he muttered.

"Oh why? Was little Levi jealous that I got to lock lips with Petra before he did?" You teased.

Levi tightened his grip on his teacup if he had squeezed any harder the porcelain vessel would have shattered.

"You're an idiot." He muttered.

"Oh c'mon, it was a joke!" You rolled your eyes and that gesture only proceeded to piss him off more. In one swift movement Levi placed the dainty teacup on the counter and had you pinned against it.

He shoved his lips aggressively into yours. You gripped his shirt tightly as the kiss deepened and he slid his tongue across her bottom lip.

Not asking but demanding entrance.

You complied and allowed his tongue which tasted of black tea and peppermint explore your mouth.

You both fought for dominance, but in the end you relinquished all control to your captain. Your grip on his shirt only tightened as he slid a hand down cupping your back side pressing both of your bodies closer together.

A grunt emitted from Levi's throat as you bit gently on his lower lip. The need for air soon became apparent and you both pulled away from one another gasping and panting.

Your cheeks rosy red, gaping at him, your knuckles turning white as you continued to hold a death grip on Levi's white night shirt.

"I wasn't jealous of you, brat." He spat " I was jealous of Petra."

[shurisneakers]

if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!

a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj

warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist

Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.

“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“How are ya?” He doesn’t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.

“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”

“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”

“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”

“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.

“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”

“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”

“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”

Ah, fuck.

“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.

“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”

“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”

Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.

“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”

“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.

____

“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.

“What could I possibly get you?”

“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.

“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”

“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."

“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.

“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”

He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.

“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”

He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.

“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”

“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically.  “Top tier comedian right there.”

“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”

“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.

“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.

“It’s none of your busi-”

“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”

His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.

“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.

“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.

“I’m literally asking you.”

“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.

“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”

“Like Pandora’s Box?”

“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.

“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.

“Sir, you’re a geriatric."

“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.

“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”

He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”

“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”

“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”

“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”

“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.

“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”

“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”

“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.

“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.

“I want this to get over before this evening.”

“What time’s your date?”

“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.

“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”

“Five o’clock, now let go.”

“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.

“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up. 

You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.

“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.

Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.

“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.

“I told you; bad luck in a box.”

“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”

“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”

He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.

“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”

He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.

“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.

“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”

He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.

____

Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.

He isn’t used to having his weekends free.

He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.

His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.

It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.

The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.

He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.

He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.

He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.

They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.

He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.

The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.

Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.

He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.

Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.

He was sure he picked it up.

He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.

This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.

Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.

His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.

“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”

“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.

See? Good luck.

He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.

He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.

He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.

He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.

He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.

He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.

“Is everything okay?”

Fuck.

He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.

“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”

He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.

He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.

He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.

He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.

His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.

Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.

The box.

He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.

Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.

He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.

Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.

He fucking trips again.

“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”

He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.

Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.

No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.

He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.

There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.

There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.

There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.

The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.

Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.

The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.

He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.

“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.

He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.

“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”

Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.

The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.

It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.

The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.

Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.

The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.

He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.

Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.

Motherfu-

He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.

“James?”

“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”

“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.

“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."

“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.

“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.

“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.

“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.

“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”

“You must be really dehydrated."

Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”

He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.

“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”

He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.

“I, uh,-”

“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.

“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.

His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.

However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.

He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.

“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.

“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”

He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.

“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”

“She mentioned that you like movies.”  He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”

It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.

He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.

But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.

He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.

“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”

Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”

He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.

He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.

He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.

Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.

It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.

Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.

He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.

He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.

Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.

The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.

The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?

His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.

The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.

When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.

There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.

He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.

But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.

The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.

“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”

When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-

“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”

“I need you to fix whatever this is.”

“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.

There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.

The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.

The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.

He should have known. He should have fucking known.

Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.

In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.

It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?

There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.

It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.

But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.

He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.

The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.

His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.

“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”

He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”

“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.

It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.

“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.

“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”

“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”

He hesitates. “I guess?”

“Was she nice?”

“Yeah.” Where was this going.

“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”

“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”

“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”

“Just fix it.”

“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.

He waits for you to do something.

You flick him on the forehead.

“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”

What.

He says exactly what he’s thinking.

You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”

Huh?

“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”

He’s confused.

“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”

“The shoelaces?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”

His face scrunches in puzzlement.

“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”

He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.

“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”

“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”

He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.

“What about the fucking geese?”

You pause for a second. “The geese?”

“And the elevator.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”

“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”

“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”

“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”

“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”

He nods briskly.

“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”

“Perfume?”

“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”

“It wasn’t an inator?”

“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.

“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.

“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”

“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?

“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.

Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.

“Wait here a second.”

You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.

“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."

He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.

You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.

He reluctantly extends it towards you.

“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”

You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.

“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”

“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”

“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”

He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”

“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”

“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”

He scoffs. “Thanks.”

You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.

He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.

“Bucky.”

He turns around.

There’s a hint of a smile on your face.

“Take the stairs.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Next part

[teacupsandcyanide]

A lot of people have pointed out that Nandor has super strength and could have just pulled away from Guillermo or even run away while Guillermo was busy fighting off other vamps, and the tragic thing is that yes that but also Nandor was full brainwashed by that point. He fully believed that he didn’t have vampiric strength bc he wasn’t allowed to use it; it’s even possible he was weaker than usual because we don’t know what they were allowed to eat there and whether they were allowed to sleep with their dirt.

And other people have pointed out that this whole wellness center thing was something of a cry for help and that’s tragic too bc it totally was, as much as it was Nandor truly thinking this would make him happy. The fact that he left that pamphlet in plain sight in his room with a passive-aggressive note just to see if anyone would come after him is just fhjskshava [off key singing] Physically Painful~

Like yeah he was manically happy when the camera crew stopped by to do their catchup, but before that how was he? how many days/nights was Nandor lying awake or staring off into the distance (in the small moments he had that weren’t dedicated to keeping the entire group in such a blind frenzy of rhythmic energy that none of them could think straight) thinking “I bet Nadja will show up tomorrow screaming about me leaving her to do all the work herself, and I won’t even care haha” or “let Laszlo just try and show up and tell me I’m stupid, he’ll feel stupid when he sees how cute my human blowout is” or “did Colin Robinson bagsy my room when I was leaving or did I imagine that” or “wow I really thought Guillermo would - not that I care what Guillermo would do with his stakes and his big trench coat and his face slapping gloves anyway”

And when did those thoughts turn to “oh. No one is coming for me. They’re actually not coming for me”?

Like it genuinely just guts me that there probably were times when Nandor wouldn’t have looked confused and horrified to see Guillermo; or when he wouldn’t have said “I’ve never been happy until then and you took me away from that”, but by the time Guillermo got there it was too late and he was brainwashed to the point where he really believed that what he felt there was inclusion and love and happiness, and that he was a human simply because he’d been told he was now

But! It also pains me in a different way that even when Guillermo got there too late, Nandor didn’t run away. He believed he was human and that he was happy and that no one in the Staten Island house cared about him, but there was still enough muscle memory left for him to trust Guillermo implicitly and cover his face, not try to escape, and hold onto Guillermo’s hand while Guillermo got them both out of there

Anyway luckily this is a comedy so I look forward to the funny montage of deprogramming Nandor over a timeskip using rubber bands and feeding him sheep blood out of a baby bottle

[likeshipsonthesea]

mianmian gets to the lan sect lectures, discovers very quickly that every one of her peers has decided to use this time to figure out how quickly they can get into bed with someone of the opposite sex, and decides almost immediately that she has to pick a suitably unattainable guy to have a crush on.

the thing is, mianmian is lanling jin’s head disciple. she is capable, intelligent, and very very gay. the last of these things she isn’t exactly keen on telling people yet for a variety of reasons up to and including jin zixuan will be so awkward and stubbornly supportive about it and she doesn’t know how to deal with that yet

so when her friends giggle over the other young masters and finally turn to mianmian-- who’s trying to memorize at least some of the fifty-thousand rules before their quiz tomorrow--and they ask her, “who do you like, mianmian?” she says the name that she carefully picked out of a handful of options.

“lan-er-gongzi,” she says, without looking up from her textbook, and she assumes that will be the end of it. 

lan wangji is both incredibly attractive and unrelentingly resistant to all attempts to flirt with him. she, like half the other female cultivators, can moon over him (or pretend to moon over him) all they want and nothing will come of it. it’s perfect. she’s a genius. the worst she’ll have to do now is pretend to be infatuated with him when her friends start gossiping. it’s fool proof.

spoiler: it’s not

it’s not, no, because her friends are horrible and immediately start gossiping about it to everyone, and usually mianmian wouldn’t care but then jin zixuan finds out. jin zixuan, whose marriage complex is being brought to center stage with the forced proximity to his bride-to-be. jin zixuan, who for some reason decided he has to live his stolen crush-addled youth vicariously through his only real friend that isn’t related to him. jin zixuan, who for some godforsaken reason takes it upon himself to contrive situations for mianmian and lan wangji to be alone together incessantly.

it unfortunately takes mianmian longer than she would like to figure out what’s happening. she’d give herself a break for it-- she was being responsible and studying, thank you very much-- but she doesn’t have much sympathy for her own stupidity seeing as she’s currently locked in a section of the lan library with the second jade of lan

and suddenly, suddenly she’s just so fucking tired. of studying, yeah, the tests here are brutal and there’s no one to bribe to make sure she doesn’t lose points on stupid things, but also tired of lying to the people she loves and tired of training this hard and being an amazing cultivator only for people to care more about her eventual marriage-- to a man of all things!-- and also, let’s be real here, she’s been in lectures with beautiful capable intelligent women for like months and she’s losing her gay ass mind

and so maybe, possibly, as she’s locked in a library with a clearly confused and annoyed second jade of lan she kind of, momentarily, loses it and rants all of this at his steadily widening eyes

at the end of it, she realizes with no small amount of panic that she’s just confessed not only her attraction to women but the fact that she’s been letting wen qing’s ears of all things distract her from her studies. if anything, she’s sure lan wangji will fault her for inattention

but the second jade of lan, after a drawn-out moment filled only with mianmian’s labored breathing and rising panic, simply says, “i understand.”

mianmian stops. she squints. she tilts her head. she squints some more. lan wangji’s ears go pink and just like that she realizes -- “you’re a cut-sleeve.”

lan wangji’s ears go even pinker. he doesn’t nod, or agree, or outwardly react in any way, but mianmian is a capable, intelligent cultivator, and she’s sure of it.

mianmian sighs with a relief she didn’t know she could feel. “thank the gods.”

lan wangji doesn’t seem to know what to make of this response, or mianmian’s increasingly frequent trips to the library following their conversation, or mianmian’s staunch determination to befriend the guy, but that’s alright. mianmian is old hat at befriending awkward sect heirs by this point.

it’s not like lan wangji expressed any desire for her friendship, but the prospect of not being the only one with absolutely no interest in the straight shenanigans happening at gusu lan summer camp is enough to let mianmian ignore his obvious confusion. lan wangji is a great listener and only sometimes blushes when mianmian waxes poetic about the beautiful women she’s forced to surround herself with every day

“no but you don’t understand,” mianmian insists, alone in the library with lan wangji, “jiang-guniang asked me to help her with a sword form. i put my hands on her waist. i said something idiotic bc she was so pretty and right there and then she laughed. lan wangji. i’m in love.”

“yesterday you were in love with wen-guniang,” lan wangji says as he impassively turns a page in his book. “has this changed?”

“no, i’m in love with both of them. all of them. lan wangji. they’re all so pretty all the time. it’s horrible.”

lan wangji presses his lips into a firmer line, which mianmian’s come to understand means he’s repressing a smile. “i’m sorry to hear it brings luo-guniang such trouble.”

mianmian groans, fairly undignified, but that’s a lost cause with lan wangji at this point anyway. “i swear, if jin zixuan says one more bad thing about her i’m going to punch him and marry her myself.”

lan wangji says, “mn,” which mianmian takes to mean that he supports her in this line of thinking, which she finds both quite sweet and ridiculously funny.

grinning, she teases, “lan-er-gongzi, if i do end up marrying jiang-guniang, will you bear witness to our elopement?”

lan wangji’s lips press again, this time in the way that means he’s repressing a frown. “jiang-guniang’s brothers wouldn’t allow for an elopement,” he says.

mianmian huffs. “as if yunmeng or lanling will deign to host our wedding.”

lan wangji appears to ponder this for a moment before he says, “gusu will host it,” and it’s at that moment that mianmian realizes she’s actually gone and fucking befriended the second jade of lan.

what is her life.

of course, it’s not long after that that she goes to find jin zixuan and explain that she can’t make their weekly sparring match today because she has plans with lan wangji (jiang yanli tenderly brushed some of mianmian’s hair away from her forehead while they were working on sword forms and if mianmian doesn’t tell someone about it she’s literally going to explode) and she’s trying to be as polite as possible only for jin zixuan to scoff and pout (”i don’t pout”) and say, “i never took you for one of those women who throw themselves so wantonly at a man”

it’s only for having been friends with this absolutely horrible communicator for most of her life that she doesn’t immediately punch him in the face. “what did you just say to me,” she demands, but jin zixuan just sets his jaw and looks away, flushing down his neck in the way his mother describes as unbecoming and--

and mianmian suddenly realizes that her ridiculous best friend is jealous of lan wangji. 

(in a friend way, of course, he’s like her brother, the one time his mother implied that he ought not get too close to women in case it jeopardizes his betrothal to jiang yanli, he insisted he didn’t have any female friends repeatedly as his mother delicately danced around outright saying mianmian’s name until finally she broke and jin zixuan was basically like huh?? mianmian doesn’t count?? she made me eat dirt like six times when we were kids)

the sheer ridiculousness of jin zixuan, to set her up with a guy and then get jealous when she spends all her time with him

and fuck her, but she loves her stupid awkward ridiculous sect heir best friend and she doesn’t want him to think she’s gone and left him for someone else (gods know jin zixuan’s loyalty complex rivals his marriage one (on second thought the two might be connected)) and so, after making a few quick decisions, mianmian grabs her stupid best friend by the wrist and pulls him to the library

he protests all the way there, but he’s been letting her drag him wherever she wants since they were five and it isn’t as if he’s going to break the pattern now. she drags him to the library and sits him down across a startled lan wangji and then finally breaks and gushes about jiang-guniang’s fingertips brushing her forehead and doesn’t look at jin zixuan once the whole time

lan wangji, on the other hand, sends jin zixuan frequent glances, as if worried on mianmian’s behalf, which is super sweet and also how the fuck did mianmian get two awkward sect heirs to care about her platonically wtf. she spares a thought for her poor auntie, who would’ve loved to have a sect heir care about her niece in much less platonic ways.

at the end of mianmian’s rant, jin zixuan is blinking quite a lot. “you like women?” he asks. he’s always been a bit slow on the uptake. mianmian nods. “you like jiang-guniang?”

mianmian shrugs. “more or less. she’s just really pretty and i’m dying about it. it’s fine.”

lan wangji says, “mn,” sympathetically and jin zixuan continues to gape.

mianmian winces. “you’re not going to be weird about this, are you?”

jin zixuan shakes his head quickly. “no, no-- of course not, i--you know that i--you’re my best friend, i don’t care--what does it matter to me, who you want to--to touch your hair.”

it’s probably the most awkward sentence he’s said to her in years, but possibly more articulate than she’d been expecting. it makes her tear up regardless and she punches him in the shoulder to hide it, and that’s basically how the three of them start hanging out in the library nearly every day after lecture.

sometimes they go to the sparring ground, bc who’s better sparring practice than the second jade of lan? and sometimes (once or twice) mianmian manages to convince lan wangji to join her and jin zixuan for lunch in caiyi town when they don’t have lecture, but mostly they meet in a secluded part of the library where mianmian can rant about how pretty all the women at lectures are, jin zixuan can turn pink whenever she mentions jiang-guniang, and lan wangji can “mn” and nod sympathetically at all the right parts

and mianmian thinks that’s going to be the end of it, they’re just going to be friends now and everything else will move on as usual, bc by some ridiculous trick of fate lan wangji and jin zixuan seem to like each other. which makes sense in hindsight bc they’re both awkward sect heirs who care about cultivation and people a lot even if they’re not great at showing it 

(and he’d never say it but mianmian thinks jin zixuan’s easy acceptance of her liking women is probably the first time lan wangji’s ever seen someone accept that kind of thing before (maybe, possibly, other than his brother, lan xichen seems really cool, even if he does smile kind of intensely at mianmian whenever he happens upon her hanging out with his little brother.))

so they’re friends, they’re unexpected friends, and sometimes lan wangji even makes jokes in that dry deadpan way of his and sometimes jin zixuan doesn’t completely trip over his own words and manages to act like a normal human being and mianmian gets two idiots to care about and a perfect place to vent her womanly frustrations, and she thinks that’s the end of it and then wei wuxian accosts her after lectures one day

“do you like lan zhan?” he asks accusingly, eyes narrowed to slits. “what am i even asking, of course you like lan zhan, but do you like-like him?”

mianmian thinks sadly to herself that she’s much too into women to be dealing with all these men’s emotional problems. “lan wangji is my friend,” she says, carefully sidestepping wei wuxian, who continues to squint at her suspiciously. really, he’d been amusing when he flirted with her, but this? this is just ridiculous.

“does he know that?” wei wuxian asks. “because if he doesn’t, that’s just leading him on, and it’s really not nice to--”

“lan wangji knows we’re friends,” she says, trying to enunciate to get her point across clearly. “you can ask him, if you don’t believe me.”

wei wuxian squints a moment longer before he turns and flounces off. mianmian thinks this is the end of it until she’s accosted again after dinner with, “he said you were friends!”

for some reason, wei wuxian seems even more troubled by this than earlier. mianmian tries to suppress her eyeroll. “i told you he would?”

“but how,” wei wuxian says, suddenly whining. “i’ve been trying to be his friend for months and he refuses to acknowledge me.”

oh, mianmian realizes with a quickly dawning horror. she and lan wangji are not the only cut-sleeves at cloud recesses this summer. (she has suspicions, of course, but no confirmations on any of the others, but this. wow.)

she also realizes, decides really, that she has enough repressed sect heirs in her life and she cannot deal with wei wuxian’s cut-sleeve crisis or his evidently large attachment to lan wangji right now. she turns decisively and walks the fuck away. not her problem.

the lectures end eventually, of course, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to lanling with a horde of golden robed disciples, freshly deflowered and not all together more learned. it’s what, she thinks grimly, their sect leader would want.

the first few weeks go by and she realizes that she’s missed unloading about her frequent and fast falling-in-loves. jin zixuan just doesn’t sympathize right, bless him, and so mianmian takes to writing letters. she sends two without receiving a reply and just starts to write the third when a letter with the gusu symbol is delivered to her room.

she’s almost expecting to find a single mn written on the page-- she would’ve been delighted with just that, actually, the sheer hilarity of such a thing-- but instead she finds several pages filled with lan wangji’s perfect calligraphy.

it’s more than he’s ever spoken out loud, but it seems that propriety dictated that he return mianmian’s extensive letter with one of his own and he’s done so admirably. he responds to the events mianmian detailed in her letters-- most succinctly summarized as, woman are gorgeous and i’m dying-- and then writes about his own life in cloud recesses. apparently, he went on a little night hunt with wei wuxian and also nie huaisang and jiang cheng were involved? seriously, mianmian misses out on all the fun.

he’s also apparently taken in some rabbits, which mianmian immediately decides she needs to see. lan wangji, sitting prim and proper, with a bunch of rabbits in his lap? amazing. wei wuxian would die on sight, she’s sure of it.

he also ends his letter with a warning about qishan wen that has mianmian frowning. she takes it to jin zixuan who reads the paragraph and frowns. “i’ll talk to my father about it,” he says, which she can tell by his hunched shoulders he doesn’t expect to do much.

“talk to your father’s general too,” she suggests, because that man at least thinks with his head and not his dick.

jin zixuan nods but doesn’t hand back the letter. he skims it instead with a barely concealed surprise at lan wangji’s previously hidden expansive vocabulary. mianmian snorts and grabs the letter back. “you can write to him yourself, you know.”

jin zixuan flushes down his neck. “i know!” he insists and then turns and runs away because he’s a coward. mianmian shakes her head, smiling. what an idiot.

still, another week goes by and a letter arrives from gusu and, when mianmian takes it, assuming it’s for her, she finds it addressed to jin zixuan in lan wangji’s impeccable calligraphy and she grins to herself like an idiot. look at jin zixuan, making friends

(she suddenly understands why lan xichen gave her all those intense smiles during the lan lectures)

they go on in this way, writing letters to lan wangji from lanling. sometimes mianmian steals jin zixuan’s letters before he sends them so she can squeeze in some ranting in the post script without wasting a whole second thing of paper, and lan wangji replies dutifully, more verbose than he ever was in person, and it’s nice okay, like. she and jin zixuan have been best friends since they were kids but neither of them has ever been any good at listening and lan wangji is just so honest and earnest in everything, like they didn’t realize that people outside of lanling were actually not always plotting your downfall??? who woulda thunk

and then of course the wens go and ruin everything. they go to the wen lectures bc jin guangshan doesn’t want to “anger our trading partner” like the guy isn’t obviously going to burn carp tower to the ground the first chance he gets, and mostly mianmian and jin zixuan are just vaguely annoyed and put out about it

then lan wangji shows up with a broken leg and a burned sect and they are ready to murder some dudes

after years of breaking in and out of carp tower she and jin zixuan are old hats at this breaking and entering stuff and they manage to sneak into lan wangji’s guest quarters and tend to his wounds, ignoring all his silent glares and ranting furiously about how they’re going to murder wen chao by making him choke on his own dick (mianmian) and how they’re going to war with the wen sect even if he has to threaten his father with acknowledging all of his bastards as proper siblings in public to do it (jin zixuan)

lan wangji just says “mn” and makes various muted, distressed expressions, but mianmian thinks he’s touched.

“are your brother and uncle alright?” she asks, when she’s set his broken leg and forced pain medication down his throat.

“brother escaped with our sacred texts,” lan wangji says. “uncle is... unwell.”

mianmian knows lan wangji hates touch but the way he says it, with this horrible little frown, emoting more than she’s ever seen him, his barely suppressed anger and grief literally making his hands shake into fists, mianmian can’t help it, she hugs him. “we’ll make them pay,” she swears into his shoulder, ruining the lines of his robes with how she clutches at them. “i promise you.”

jin zixuan awkwardly pats lan wangji’s shoulder, which is a lot for him and mianmian spares a moment to be proud of his growth.

unfortunately, wen chao seems to delight in torturing lan wangji on his injured leg and lan wangji refuses to show weakness, which both impresses mianmian and pisses her the fuck off. she approaches wen qing (and her still gorgeous ears, sigh) and asks her to tend to lan wangji, since she’s like actually a doctor. wen qing does bc she’s beautiful, intelligent, and kind and mianmian spends most of that night sighing deeply as she relates this to a significantly drugged lan wangji

the cave of the xuanwu goes about the same as you’d expect. wei wuxian saving her from getting her face branded off is pretty rad of him, though he could’ve just like knocked the brand away instead of throwing himself in front of it but whatever, you do you boo. when lan wangji gets left behind the two of them don’t even have to wait for jiang cheng to grumble and ask for their help, they’re already on their way to carp tower for an army, thank you very much

when they rescue wei wuxian and lan wangji and lan wangji immediately turns to walk back to cloud recesses on a broken leg mianmian says, “fuck no, that’s not happening, you’re getting medical attention and then someone will fly you back home, okay, wtf wangji, sit down.”

and lan wangji is a stubborn bitch so obvs he’s like no but he’s also severely starved, dehydrated, and injured, so it’s not like he can just shake off mianmian holding him down and this goes on long enough for wei wuxian to wake up and see mianmian touching lan wangji, and something in his poor little brain just like breaks and he demands says, “lan zhan, come back to lotus pier with us.”

his argument, as he explains it, is that lotus pier is closer (it’s not; they’re just as close to carp tower as lotus pier) and that it’s closer to gusu for when lan wangji has to return home (it’s not; same deal) but then jiang cheng starts yelling, possibly in support possibly not mianmian’s not sure, and jin zixuan starts getting awkward, probably about the whole golden army behind him bc he’s a nerd and hates being overdressed at functions (this is basically the same thing), and mianmian looks at lan wangji and she sees--

something. she isn’t sure what exactly, but lan wangji looks at wei wuxian as he argues with his brother and he presses his lips into a thin line in the way that means he wants to smile and mianmian thinks, oh. maybe wei wuxian isn’t completely unrequited in his lan wangji obsession.

growing up in lanling, she knows how to use information to her advantage, so she immediately says, “young masters wei and jiang, what a great idea. lanling’s disciples would be pleased to accompany you and second young master lan to lotus pier to ensure everyone’s safe arrival.”

everyone splutters, indignant, confused, awkward (jiang cheng, wei wuxian, and jin zixuan, respectively) but lan wangji narrows his eyes at mianmian and doesn’t try to convince her to let him walk to gusu again, so she counts it as a win.

sect leader jiang and his wife seem surprised and annoyed, respectively, to be taking in so many guests, but sect leader jiang merely smiles pleasantly and directs them to some guest quarters and mianmian and wei wuxian ask, simultaneously, for doctors to tend to lan wangji and wei wuxian makes a face at her and mianmian sighs to herself that she really is too gay to be in the middle of his thing with lan wangji.

turns out, walking a lot and fighting a cannibalistic turtle on a broken leg doesn’t do wonders for healing. lan wangji is also the worst patient ever, he keeps trying to sneak out and get up even though word came from his brother that he’s safe and alright and that cloud recesses is starting to rebuild after qinghe nie and lanling jin came to its aid and pushed out the wen

but with the combined efforts of mianmian, jin zixuan, and wei wuxian (and even jiang yanli at one point, bc who could say no to her soup??) they manage to get lan wangji to just rest for a fucking second, really which results in the jin disciples and lan wangji staying in lotus pier for longer than anyone could’ve expected

mianmian spends most of her time (when she isn’t forcing lan wangji to just fucking stay in bed) working with the jiang disciples, practicing archery, sword forms, and mooning after all the beautiful women here.

(”lan wangji, i know she’s scary, but have you seen madam yu? she could whip me with zidian and i’d thank her” “luo-guniang, please don’t ask madam yu to whip you” OR “lan wangji, i’m almost positive madam yu’s maids are a thing, do you think they’d let me join them just like once” “luo-guniang, could you please pass me my sword?” “why” “i’d like to put myself out of this misery” OR “she made me soup. lan wangji. lan wangji, i know you’re not sleeping, wake up, you have to listen to me, this soup”)

they end up staying so long that when wang lingjiao shows up threatening a child about a kite while sect leader jiang is away, she has a lot more to deal with than madam yu. since none of this had been a “sanctioned visit” no one actually knew that there was nearly an entire troop of jin disciples staying at lotus pier, so when the wens attack they are sorely unprepared for what they’re going to face.

(and ofc lan wangji breaks out of bed heroically and keeps madam yu from whipping wei wuxian, which means they aren’t down one of their most powerful fighters and mianmian has to suffer through the moon eyes they’re making at one another in the middle of a battle no less, she knew wei wuxian had no shame but she’d been hoping lan wangji would have some)

after the wen attack (and defeat) on lotus pier and the jin’s inarguable part in it, the war starts in earnest. lan wangji, after his long rest, heals fine and goes back to gusu to help rebuild his sect and plan for war, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to carp tower to plan as well, ignoring jin guangshan and focusing instead on his general to ensure lanling supplies necessary aid in the war effort

and war is always shitty, of course, and mianmian hates watching her sect family die on the battlefield, hates waiting for updates after every battle to see who’s still alive, hates the politics and jin guangshan trying to wheedle his way out of fighting when there’s fucking lives on the line

(and she could never know, how much easier it is, with yunmeng jiang at its full strength, with one of the brightest minds of their generation there to plot and help, with two of the best fighters not out searching for someone and instead focused on the front)

they reach nightless city after months of fighting and mianmian is ready to just fucking stab wen ruohan herself when they’re suddenly trapped. blocked in on all sides by puppets, their fallen soldiers rising again to turn on them, and it--it looks like they’re gonna die.

“this sucks,” she says to lan wangji, stifling her fear and choking it down. “i never even got to kiss a girl.”

lan wangji just says “mn.”

jin zixuan, beside them, says, “i was an idiot about jiang-guniang.”

lan wangji just says, “mn.”

then wei wuxian pulls out a fucking flute and a-- floating piece of metal?  the army of puppets and corpses stops advancing, held in place by-- music, apparently? and wen ruohan emerges from his lair, black energy falling off him in waves, wei wuxian the idiot flies forward to meet him, gets wen ruohan’s hand around his throat for his trouble.

lan wangji yells, “wei ying!” and mianmian thinks, really not fair that lan wangji is gonna get a boyfriend before i get a girlfriend

and then wen ruohan gets stabbed by jin zixuan’s half brother of all people. wen ruohan, along with his puppets and wei wuxian, fall to the ground. lan wangji rushes forward to catch wei wuxian, mianmian runs after him, finds herself in company with jin zixuan and jiang cheng. when they get there, wei wuxian is barely conscious but he’s-- he’s fucking grinning up at lan wangji from the cradle of lan wangji’s arms

“lan zhan,” he says, “you caught me.”

lan wangji nods, says, “mn,” which is basically his equivalent of i’ll always catch you, wei ying.

“really,” mianmian says aloud, “it’s so unfair.”

the aftermath of the war is more annoying than the war itself, what with all the politics and in-fighting and jin guangshan trying to be the biggest dick there ever was. jin guangshan tries to name himself chief cultivator in wen ruohan’s stead but nie mingjue suggests jiang fengmian instead and the lan sect backs him. jin guangshan tries to demonize the wens but at wei wuxian’s loud rebuttal and sect leader jiang’s backing (which is then backed by both gusu lan and qinghe nie) he’s once again shouted down. and then jin guangshan tries to propose to jiang-guniang for his son and the poor woman just seems so awkward and her father doesn’t seem to know what to say and--

mianmian elbows jin zixuan whose eyes widen ridiculously but, after another, harder hit, he suddenly stands. all eyes go to him, which mianmian knows he hates, but he bows to his father, then jiang yanli, and says, “jiang-guniang, forgive my father’s impertinence. this is not the time or place to be making such an offer, but he--” jin zixuan winces visibly. “--he knows of my feelings and wishes to make his foolish son happy. please, do not feel the need to respond.”

then he promptly sits down, flushing down to his neck, and mianmian shares a disbelieving glance with lan wangji from across the horrible nightless city palace room.

she’d really only meant for him to suggest jiang yanli answer privately, at a later time, but wow, jin zixuan really went for it. also no way jin guangshan knows his son has fallen in love with jiang yanli, so nice save face there. maybe he has been paying attention in all of their etiquette and political espionage classes.

jiang yanli flushes way prettier than jin zixuan and nods politely, stands and bows and thanks the jin clan for being considerate in this time of turmoil, perhaps they can discuss this matter at a later date (jin zixuan looks like he nearly faints at this, and mianmian feels vindicated in all her forlorn ranting. overreacting her ass)

when everything has been settled, wen qing has been appointed the new sect leader of qishan wen with promises to return land to those who lost it and pay reparations to the hurt civilians, as well as have the yin iron destroyed for good. during the final ceremony where all the sects have tea and pledge to be loyal to one another (until the next great war, of course) mianmian leans close to lan wangji and sighs, “her ears look even lovelier with her hair tied back by her new sect leader hairpiece.”

lan wangji says “mn” because he’s a cut sleeve in love with wei wuxian and has nothing even closely resembling taste.

mianmian, on her own, decides to make them both happy. before the jin clan departs from nightless city, she goes up to wei wuxian and asks for a moment of his time. wei wuxian seems confused but follows and, once they’re alone, he says, “mianmian, are you about to get me into bed, because i must tell you that i am a respectable young cultivator and you’ll need to marry me before--”

mianmian gives him her best unimpressed look (she’s had much practice with it, thank you jin zixuan) and cuts him off with, “i like women.” 

wei wuxian’s eyes go wide. “but you and lan zhan--”

she cuts him off again before he can say something so stupid she has to stop talking to him to refrain from breaking all laws of propriety. “look,” she says, “you’re friends with wen qing. now that she’s sect leader, your brother can’t go after her. i, on the other hand, very much can. if you promise to figure out a way for me and her to get close, i’ll tell you a secret you’ll like very much.”

wei wuxian seems hesitant for all of half a second before he breaks. “tell me.”

“do you promise?”

wei wuxian raises three fingers. “promise.”

“on your sister’s life?”

begrudgingly, wei wuxian nods.

“on her soup?”

“just get on with it!”

mianmian smirks, pushes onto her tiptoes, and whispers the secret into wei wuxian’s ear. with that, she returns to the pavilion where all the sects mingle as they wait to depart, wei wuxian trailing behind her in a daze, his mouth hanging open.

lan wangji, who had been watching since mianmian asked wei wuxian for a moment to talk, frowns nearly imperceptibly. mianmian grins at him and his frown grows.

ah, whatever. she walks over to him, unbothered by the quickly growing alarm in his eyes. once next to him, she turns around to see wei wuxian staring unabashedly. her smile only widens.

“you’re going to thank me for this,” she says.

wei wuxian shakes himself, his eyes focusing, and immediately starts walking towards them.

lan wangji, voice flat but wavering, asks, “luo-guniang, what did you do?”

mianmian laughs, says, “i get to give a speech at your wedding,” and walks away just as wei wuxian reaches them.

(she does, actually, give a speech at their wedding. she may or may not be drunk during it, jin zixuan gets embarrassed for her, and she starts tearing up and has to hide it in the shoulder of her wife’s lovely well-tailored robes. it’s alright, though, wen qing doesn’t mind)

EDIT: now on AO3 with a real fic version from lwj’s pov!

[metalbuckaroo]

Hey, lovely! For your sleepover. How about...

“I desperately want to take you out for dinner and slow dance with you until the sun comes up, but I also want to grip your hair as I watch you writhing underneath me.”

Please feel free to ignore if you received this. 💖

Checking In

Summary// A hotel getaway with Bucky's favorite receptionist

Warnings// Lil angsty, some fluff, some smut, cursing, tiny mention of drinking, 18 plus only, minors dni

Note// I kinda love this request. I didn't use the quote, but its based off of the quote, this also got LONG and took sooo long.

My new masterlist and taglist will hopefully be done tomorrow night.

Im really hoping it doesn't flop bc I'm lowkey proud of it and also spent a lot of time on it

MASTERLIST

Moodboard by @commonintrest

This was the slowest Bucky had went with someone in a very long time. Three dates in and he hadn't even had the chance to see you naked. It was driving him crazy to say the least.

Anyone else wouldn't have gotten a call back, but for you; it made him want it even more. So, he came up with an idea to take that extra step.

Walking into the hotel you worked at, he gave a nod to the security guard and flashed you a charming smile; his hair much shorter than when you saw him last. "Like the haircut." You said, turning in the chair to look at him. "Feels more... professional."

"Checking in again?" You asked, leaning your chin on the base of your palm, reaching your other hand to card your fingers through the short hair.

Bucky shook his head and leaned his forearms on the desktop. "No. We are checking in somewhere else. Tonight, when you're off."

His eyes trailed down to the top of your blouse, looking at the few buttons that where open. "Buck, I'm not staying in a hotel with you." You smiled, shaking your head. "Come on, I'll sleep on the couch if you're too uncomfortable." He smirked.

You thought it over for a moment before sighing and nodding your head. "Yeah, ok." You agreed, letting him pull you in for a brief kiss by the back of your neck. "Fantastic. I'll be here at five to get you."

"I'll have to go get cl-" Bucky shook his head at you. "Won't need 'em." He said, turning to walk out. "Bucky, don't you dare."

"See ya tonight, pretty girl."

As promised, five o'clock hit and Bucky was pulling in front of the doors in his sleek black car; quickly getting out.

His usual suit was traded in for a more casual button up tee and dark jeans, the prosthetic that matched the shape of his right arm perfectly on display.

He rounded the desk and picked up your bag. "You can't be back here." You teased, making him roll his eyes. "Come along, babydoll. We have plans." He said, hand between your shoulder blades to guide you with him.

Bucky's plan would surely get that extra step at least jumpstarted. The heated make out sessions in his car when he dropped you off were starting to get to him.

He refused to call anyone else to handle the tightening of his jeans, the wait made him yearn for you even more.

So, he patiently waited as you changed into the lavender sundress he'd sent for, listened and talked over dinner on the patio of the motel, and just basked in your enjoyable presence.

"Dance with me." You said, hand laying on his bicep. He chuckled lightly and shook his head. "I don't dance, sugar."

You raised your eyebrows and cocked your head to the side, fingers tracing down the vein that ran the length of his arm and to his hand. "Well, you're going to, or you'll be sleeping in that room alone." You laced your fingers in his and he looked at you with an amused expression. "Oh, really now?"

"Mhm, c'mon. It's a slow one, so you won't embarass yourself." You teased, feeling his hands on your hips as soon as you turned your back to him. "I never said I couldn't dance. Just that I don't, babydoll." His gruff voice said in your ear, moving to stand in front of you once in the midst of the other couples enjoying their night.

"Couldn't say no to you if I tried anyways." He said softly as your hands rested on the back of his neck, his on the dip of your waist.

The Bucky who took you on dates was different than the Bucky who strolled in your lobby at least once every two weeks. He wasn't glowering when he looked at you; instead he had a smile that made the corner of his eyes crinkle and your heart flutter.

He hadn't smiled so hard and so much in years. He was addicted. To your voice, fiery attitude, and gleaming smile; and he couldn't even imagine how much more he'd crave once he finally got a taste of you.

"Gonna let me sleep in the bed, pretty girl?" He cooed, hands roaming over the swell of your ass. "Of course, Mr Barnes." You grinned, pecking a kiss to his dimpled chin. "Could dance with you all night if you wanted me to." He said, squeezing gently. "I wouldn't complain."

His lips slotted over yours, your eyes fluttering shut at the softness of them.

He suddenly lifted his head, bottom lip brushing the tip of your nose as you opened your eyes again.

Bucky's cold demeanor he usually had while walking through the lobby of the hotel returned, smile fading into a deep scowl as he looked at something behind you.

"Is something wrong?" You asked, worry lacing your voice as you cupped his stubbled jaw in your hands, feeling the muscle of it flex. "Just stay close." He murmured, pulling you closer to his front.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, lips parting to say something, but the stern look in his eyes stopping you as they stayed glued on whatever was behind you.

"Barnes, didn't expect to see you here- like this." A voice that was slightly higher in pitch than Bucky's sounded from behind you.

Bucky tucked you into his side, hand on the small of your back as he stared at the shorter man. "Just enjoying my night. That a problem?"

You swallowed thickly and gripped onto the back of Bucky's shirt, crumbling the perfectly ironed fabric in your fist as your heart pounded. "Needa talk." The man said.

Bucky's eyes flicked to a group of men sitting at the corner of the patio before looking back to the man in from of him. "Go sit down. Order us some more drinks." Bucky said sternly. "Bucky-"

He finally looked down at you with an icy stare, making you shrink back slightly. "Now isn't the time to argue with me. Go sit down." The tone of his voice was one you hadn't heard before.

You nodded and turned to walk back to the table, picking at your nails as you took your seat again.

Looking to where Bucky was sat at the table with the group, you chewed your bottom lip. You knew what you were getting into when accepting that first date, you just didn't think it'd follow you everywhere.

He tried to stay patient, he was in rival territory and knew it was a terrible idea; but this was one of the nice hotels and he wanted the weekend spent right. Keeping his cool was the only way he was going to be able to do that.

He was barely even listening to half of what the men were saying, glancing over at your nervous posture as you picked the nails he had just paid to get manicured; even though you protested against taking his money.

Until one statement had his head snapping back towards one of them. "The girl seems... sweet. Make you happy?" It wasn't meant in a way a friend would ask when checking up on another friend. Bucky felt it burn through him like a threat.

"Yeah, well, she's got a mouth on her and I'm losing my patience. So, you men have a good night, you owe my girl an apology for ruining her night." He stood, teeth gritting together.

You noticed Bucky's tense stance and straightened in your seat as he got closer. "Rude bastards." Bucky grumbled, taking your hand in his and tugging for you to stand. "What did they want?"

Bucky thought about lying, but he promised you he wouldn't. "Talk business. Can't believe they'd interrupt me over stupid bullshit." He sneered, pulling you along with him back into the hotel. "Where are we going? They're going to bill you for those drinks." You huffed, picking up your pace to walk next to him. "Don't care."

By the time the two of you reached the door to your room, Bucky had you pressed against it; fumbling to swipe the key card as his lips attacked yours.

Your hands fisted into the front of his shirt to keep your balance as shoes were kicked off, Bucky backing you towards the bed with his large hands holding the sides of your face.

You fell back onto the bed when the backs of your knees met the edge of the mattress, taking him with you; Bucky's body parting your legs.

The kiss was hungry and desperate, sharing breaths as his hands gripped at your outer thighs and pawed their way under the skirt of your dress.

You pulled away from the kiss, breathless as he dipped his head to latch his lips on the underside of your jaw. "Bucky, wait-" You panted, pressing his shoulders lightly. "What?" He breathed, stopping all movements as he looked at you; eyes dark and lips kiss swollen. "I-"

"You're a virgin. We can wait, if so." He cut you off, face dropping slightly. "No, no. It's not that. I just haven't had sex in awhile." You said, gnawing at your tongue. "Want me to go slower?"

"I just don't want to take things too fast." You whispered, tracing the collar of his shirt with your fingertips.

Bucky took a deep inhale, warm hand moving to hold your chin. "Babygirl, listen. I'm not going to kick you out of my bed when we're done. You got me attached with this damn chase you gave me. Wanna take care of you. Okay?"

You nodded and pulled him back down to you, his tongue slipping between your lips as his fingers worked at the buttons of his shirt.

Gently pushing them away, you replaced his hands with yours to pop the buttons open as his tongue glided across every inch of your mouth he could reach.

You lifted your back off of the mattress for his hand to feel for the zipper of your dress, grazing your fingers down the tensing muscles of his chest and abdomen; stopping at the button of his jeans.

"Don't get shy now, take 'em off." Bucky mumbled against your lips, sliding the straps of your dress off of your shoulders.

The wetness between your legs grew as your tugged at his belt, whimpering into his mouth when he pressed his hips against you to show how hard he was.

Pulling away, Bucky sat up to tug your dress down your torso and legs; eyes drinking in the beautiful sight in front of him as he shoved his jeans off and palmed himself through his boxers.

"Take the shirt off." You panted, backing up the bed. A smirk grew on his face, metal thumb sliding back and forth in the waistband of his boxers as he looked at your glistening folds. "Ask nicely and I just might." He taunted. "Please."

You watched the way his muscles flexed with each movement, the shirt sliding off of his arms and to the floor; revealing the mess of scars Bucky hoped you'd ignore and a large tattoo on his ribcage.

Next were his boxer briefs, pooling at his feet as his cock twitched in the air; swollen tip red and leaking precum. "You're staring, babydoll." He said, voice low as he moved his body back over yours.

"Can't help it." You swallowed, the weight of his cock against your thigh as you felt the firmness of his back. His hand slipped between your bodies to guide himself to your heat, spreading your slick with his tip.

"So wet, barely even touched you yet." You whined at his words and gripped his shoulders. "Buck, please. Stop the teasing."

The smirk on his face grew before he brushed his lips against yours. "Hm, I don't know. Kept me waitin' so long, might just tease you a little more." He hummed. You bucked your hips against him, his tip barely pressing into you. "Fuck..." Bucky said in a low groan, a shudder passing through his body.

He made sure you felt every ridge and vein, pulling breathy sounds from you when he pushed deeper. Your walls so tight and warm around him, he already had to hold off his release.

"Look at me, sweet girl." He breathed, nipping at your bottom lip and rolling his hips into yours.

When you opened your eyes, the adoring look in Bucky's made your breath hitch. Hands wedging under your back as he sat up, holding you to him so you were sitting on his thick thighs.

"So beautiful." He groaned as his hands glided over the curve of your back to your ass, metal and flesh fingers digging into the skin.

Guiding your hips in a faster pace, he could feel you clenching around him, swallowing the blissed out sounds you made with a breath taking kiss as his grip on you tightened.

The soft ow that passed your lips made Bucky loosen his grip and move you in a slower pace. "Need me to slow down?" He panted, pulling away from you slightly.

You frantically shook your head, hands clinging to his shoulders; needing to feel his skin against yours. "No-no. Don't stop, please, keep going." You whined, bucking your hips along with him.

In a swift movement, your back was pressed back into the mattress. Your fingers laced with Bucky's as he pinned your hands at the sides of your head, his hips meeting yours in a faster, rougher pace that knocked the breath from your lungs and made your head spin; his cock sliding against every sweet spot, some that you didn't even know existed.

Salacious sounds from both of you echoed around the room, your eyes fluttering shut again and body arching into him so your front was flush to his as the coil snapped.

"There you go, baby. Feel so good, so worth the wait." Bucky moaned out, chasing his own release with shorter thrusts.

A whimper of his name falling from your sweet lips sent him over the edge, his hips flush to yours as he spilled into you with a guttural moan.

He slowly rocked his hips into yours, riding the blissful feeling for all that it was as he looked over your blissed out face.

It was the moment your eyes peaked out, staring back into his lust darkened ones that Bucky knew. You were the one thing he needed to protect. To hold close and never let go.

A tender kiss was placed on your lips, a satisfied hum leaving Bucky as he slipped from between your legs to lay beside you.

You slowly moved off of the bed to grab a shirt and go to clean up, legs feeling wobbly with each step to and from the bathroom.

Bucky sat on the edge of the bed when you walked back into the adjoined room, legs still a little jelly feeling as you made you way back to him.

He laughed, an actual belly laugh that made your heart swell as he pulled you between his parted thighs. "I have some... unexpected business to take care of in the morning."

You nodded lightly and sat your hands on his shoulders. "I want you to stay in this room and keep the door locked. When I come back, we'll do something." He promised, gently massaging your sides. "Something, huh?"

A squeak escaped your throat when you were pinned back underneath Bucky, his hips pressing into you. "Oh, don't you get me started. I'll keep you up all night."