#feels so good to feed my hq obsession

[squid-com]

colored some hq doodles

[xhane-lia]

I’ve discovered your blog and it’s single handedly feeding my current valorant obsession, I love your writing so much. With that said, could I please request a some fluffy confession scenes with Sova or possibly Chamber? Thank you so much!

I will abandon this page istg i hate tumblr but this is a request i can write in one go so here i am at 00:43. Lets see when i'll finish it. (Im done and its 03:00)

<<<The reader is another agent in the protocol in this fic. Sova part is GN and Chamber part is female reader. >>>

Hope you like it! And thank you sm!!

Confession headcannons with Sova and Chamber

He is the hollywood star of hiding emotions and pressing them in so no one can tell what he really feels or who is the person he has eyes on. Exept himself ofcourse.

He is not some kind of "i'll built up my emotions inside so i wont hurt anyone" kind of person. He knows he shouldnt hide them too long or it can cause damage. He talks about his problems to Brim like everybody does. But not love, ofcourse.

He thinks that he shouldnt feel like this to a coworker. Not that there isnt any couples in the HQ. There is Raze and KJ and he knows that Brim allows it.

He is probably scared of you rejecting him. If so, there will be a moody aura between whenever you two need to team up for a mission. He cannot allow that. That will effect both of your morals and the performance.

But every second he is not speaking about his feelings is like a torture to him. Like all of his energy is drawn out of him when he returns from a mission or just from trainings.

Spending his day at his room, not practising archery, not having conversations much often, sitting in the plane and looking out of the window while going to a mission rather than giving courage to people is not like him. Something is bothering him. Clearly.

You went to sit next to him. He immediately turned his head to you. "Did something happened?" He asked.

"I should be the one asking you that." You said. He stared at you for a good 15 seconds.

"Lets have this conversation after the mission." He suggested with the pressure of his own feelings. It was getting too much for him to handle. You did not pressed on it. The mission was a short one after all. Everyone did good and went back to the HQ with the same plane.

He immediately regret his choice of words when you stood infront of him when he tried to get out of the plane. He was planning to found an excuse but he didnt had the time to think about that.

"Umm..." he said trying to get some time to think. You lift a brow, implying that you both know why you are in his way.

"Lets talk about it when no one is around, shall we?" He said while bending over you a little.

"There is no one around, Sasha. You took unexpectedly long to leave the plane." You said. You were not letting him escape again.

He sighed. Looking around, really no one was left at the landing field. He grabbed your arm and getting you two both out of the plane. The sky was open and orange with the sunset of the beautiful winter.

He held both of your hands. You could feel the shake of them. It was ironic that the sniper of the protocol's hands was shaking that easily before you.

"You dont have to say anything, its better if we pretend that i said nothing, but..." you tilted your head and frown at the words. "I am in love with you." He says.

He is too scared to look you in the eyes or hear the words that will come out of your mouth so he continues to speak.

"I was too scared that our friendship will never be the same after my confession so i kept this feelings inside but they didnt stop growing. I felt like i was drowning and couldnt hide it anymore. I am sorry if i ruined our friendship and-"

He stopped after hearing your laugh. Did he said something stupid? Was this so childish for him to do? Why were you laughing?

"You were hiding this from me? For how long?" You said. He got confused. "Uhh... for... over 4 or 5 months?" He said, unsure about when he got this crush over you.

"You should have told me from the start silly. I like you too!" As you said, his eyes lit up with the happiness. Holding your hands tighter, he asked. "Really? Are you real? You are not saying that because you dont want me to feel bad, do you?"

With your head shake as a no, he hugs you while both of you laugh with joy. And there goes your first kiss with him. Under the orange sky with the blow of an air like a celebration of the nature for both of you.

Mhm. We all know this man aint hiding nothing. He shall show you and everyone that he has eyes on you so that nobody can steal you from him untill he officialy takes you out.

Yea i feel like he would take you out to an extra expensive restaurant to confess, even the offer itself looks like the confession already.

"Chamber, you really dont have to." You say while hanging the vandal back to its place. Training was over and the french man knew your schedule from head to toe. It was impossible for him to miss any of your free times.

"Please, the randevu was made from weeks ago. Plus, if it isnt going to be you then who is it?" He says while giving you the card of the restaurant. On the card, it was written the place of the restaurant (i will die from this stuffy nose istg i cannot write) with the date and time of the randevu with his fancy handwriting.

You gave a smile to him. Not often you got this kind of... um... take outs? (I forgor the word in english) He was generous to offer you this. Altough it was clear why he did this.

You contact Brim to clear that day but he said that Chamber did it for you. Then you discover that nearly everyone knows about the "take out" that you guys will have.

"O. M. G. You know that he will confess you that night, right?" Jett said while cutting cucumbers to put on her eyes but Phoenix eats them trying not to get caught. The girls night is getting little heavy on you. (Pho is one of the girls idc.)

"Yea, yea, i know. Who doesnt." You said while rolling your eyes. Trying to not pop the conversation much.

"I mean, i didnt got a confession in a fancy restaurant." KJ said while looking at Raze. Who has no idea whats going on.

"Well, im okay if he wants to do it this way but im not sure if i'll fit in that kind of atmosphere. Everyone and everything is so expensive. You know." You said while shaking your shoulders.

"Are you kidding me? That french has his eyes on you. You think he will matter if you fit in or not?" Neon lifts the cucumbers from her eyes and looks at you from the couch. You lift your hands sideways as to tell you dont know.

"We will make you fit." Phoenix says with excitement. "What is the date?" He asks while everyone awaits the answer from you.

Eventually, the date comes. Everyone you gave the date is more excited than you. Preparing your dress, makeup and everything like its a doll dressing game.

When it comes to Chamber, he was ready more than ever. It was like classic Chamber yet so different. He had his 'special occasion suit' on him and a smug smile on his face. He offers you his arm and you take it.

(You go to the restaurant but its getting too late and i need some sleep so imma skip that part.)

"So..." he says while you both sit face to face, eating dinner. He had studied this for over how many times and yet he is still nervous. You turned your look at him and raise a brow.

"We both know why we are here, Vincent. I like you too. You dont have to give me a whole speech." You said. Drinking some of the wine to cover your face and overexcitement.

He laughs at your boldness. "Its open like a book, isnt it?" He looks straight into your eyes. You feel like they could pierce through you. "Thats my girl. Bold and smart as always" He says. "You dont need a brain to see that you have eyes on me." It was your time to laugh.

He looks at you with that stupid smirk on his face. Like he truly fell in love if you. "I love you." He says. Giving up on the talk he had prepared. He felt like it was the only thing he needed to say.

Even if that three words was the only thing he said, they made your heartbeat race up immediately. With a giggle, you hold his hand that is on the table. "I love you." You said. The only thing he said and the only thing he needed to hear from you was the same nontheless.

[my-one-true-l]

hear me out on this one !! the wammy boys with a vampire s/o !! i've been obsessed w this idea for awhile now (specially near w a goth vampire gf,, self indulgent, i know) and your blog and writings are my favorite in the dn fandom so i just know u r the perfect person to write this epiphany,,, any pronouns are fine !! ty <333

Hello Dear Anon! Oh, you are so sweet! Thank you so much!!!🥰🖤

I’m a big fan of Vampire AUs!

L

Is skeptical at first, but it doesn’t take long for him to realize he is mistaken. After all, Shinigami exist. Why not other supernatural beings. 

Let’s them drink from him willingly. He’s addicted to the euphoria it causes, plus he doesn’t want them drinking from someone else. 

Will take his shirt off when they feed to make sure no blood stains it.

This is fine by his SO. His blood is super sweet (they wouldn’t want to drink from another unless they had to.)

He would like to be turned by them. Between his habit of staying up all night and his pale features, he already is quite vampiric. Bonus: Kira couldn’t kill him. 

There would no longer be the need for successors either since L is essentially immortal, (but he does have to be careful that no one finds out his secret or hunters could come for him.)

I wrote a Vampire SO AU for L and you can find it here.🖤

Mello

They first gave themselves away to Mello with the speed they had getting him out of the warehouse explosion. He had a lot of questions, but was also very grateful. 

Despite his  religious beliefs, He just can’t bring himself to think of them as “unholy”. He does however, put his rosary away in case it can harm or burn them.

He is so into that vampire aesthetic. He dresses completely in Industrial Goth, paints his nails black and wears black eyeliner. 

Early on, he will only be turned if his life is in danger. He’s not ready to give up chocolate quite yet. 

Near

Was fascinated by them the moment he noticed them. They were never visible on any security footage. At first he wanted to make them a member of the SPK, their stealth and nocturnal nature, along with their immortality, were huge benefits, but the more he studied them, the more his interest turned into feelings. 

He is easily lulled by them, but they will rarely use their compulsion on him. 

He doesn’t mind being fed on, but will strip down to his boxers just to make sure no blood gets on his white pjs.

Has Rester remove any silver from HQ before inviting them to live with him. Any jewelry he buys for them will be pure platinum. 

Matt

Gave each other a vial of their blood to keep with them in case of emergency. (Ultimately saving his life at the shoot out if you are so inclined to believe)

Use their blood bond to speak to each other telepathically. It comes in very handy when playing MMOs.

I HC Matt is a really good cook, & especially enjoys making Italian food. Even though his SO assures him it’s just a myth, he gets rid of any garlic in his apartment. 

Beyond Birthday

He knew they were the one the minute he noticed their lifespan (or should I say lack-there-of). He will never have to worry and wait for their death day to come.

He loves letting them feed on him, the rougher the better. They have to be the one to have some self-control or B would have a tendency to let them bleed him dry.

Likes that they can be very uninhibited in any romantic endeavors. He doesn’t have to worry about harming or killing them.

Helps his SO with their make up (If they’re into that). They can’t see their reflection and he’s so good at it.

Does everything he can do to make the turn him. He is convinced he would be the prefect weapon, his vampire abilities combined with his eyes and intelligence would make it impossible for L to ever solve a crime he committed, plus he would have all of eternity to relish in he fact that he won.

[kyotarou]

hey luv! congrats on 1k!! id love to participate on your event for a personality match up w an hq boy!! i go by she/her!

—hobbies! writing random shit in my notes app, taking uquizzes to understand myself ??:($:$: online shopping, and playing tennis w friends (im not good at it tbh) o and swimming yaas (not very fast tho 😬)

— what i look for in a partner! honestly sense of humor bro,, oh and how they treat ppl around them, o and their confidence bc i am not rlly confident 😩☝️

— things i like! FOOD. sushi. omg food gives me sm joy at one point seafood and sushi was the only thing i woke up for. i like ppl who are laid back and just easy to talk to. i also like wahtever vibe chase atlantic gives off idk how to describe it

— things i dislike! loud berps :D or just loud sounds in general. the kids in class who used to throw things around until it hit someone. the kids who were rude to the substitute for no reason !!:!:$ and my parents 😞💔.

—personality&how i act towards others! i am never afraid to be kind to others as long as they treat me the same way! unless they are someone that is not very nice to others i just ignore them <3 very big believer of treat others how you want to be treated! for personality it rlly depends to who bc w my friends i am confident and funny 😏 i kinda act like the best friend to the main character in away if that makes sense 🤔 but I rlly have to be comfortable w others before i open up otherwise i am v polite and respectful of others ! i love matching their vibe!

—my aesthetic! ahah id say night luxe idk if it’s a general enough aesthetic but im obsessed w bright lights n pretty clothes&jewelry just the elegance yk ugh laughing while blasting some song in a fast car?? chefs kiss<33

—appearance! im 5’3,, hair color dark brown, skin kinda tanned? doe eyes, and im proud to say my eyebrows are like cindy kimberlys(it took a lot of time to trim but nevertheless 😌) and i like my jawline 👍 i feel like I’m getting narcissistic LSJKSDJ but yea <3

tysm if u get to mine and 1k is amazing i wish u the best in all ur endeavors 💋

hi hi! i match you with...

#2 — SUGAWARA KŌSHI

when you said best friend to the main character i was like 🧍‍♀️ suga giving up his spot for kags. ANYWAY- sugawara is definitely a very kind person who knows how to have fun. people often forget that he’s a teenager who isn’t always responsible (cough fanon suga cough). he for sure has his humorous moments that have you laughing until you cry. sushi dates with him are literally so cute,,, he likes feeding you like ur a baby bc ur his baby <3

RUNNER-UPS: MIYA OSAMU, OJIRO ARAN

ly’s 1k event

[sparkie96]

If you're ever in the mood for a prompt, how about some A/B/O Chris/Leon where Leon doesn't know he's pregnant and has been getting the worst morning sickness?

How about a fic based off of “Jane the Virgin”? But, well, here you go. 

It was awkward enough that his old doctor retired. Well, not too awkward, Dr. Kemp had been his personal doctor for years so it was about time for the little old man to retire. No, what was really awkward was the fact that the only other doctor in the area that specialized in Omegas and their anatomy and could be trusted to not blab to the public about top secret government information...was also the same woman who specialized in virology and medical...at the BSAA. 

Dr. Rebecca Chambers, “Doctor High Hopes” as he often teased due to how optimistic she always seemed to be, even in the most terrible of situations. She was the top Medic and Doctor at the BSAA and in the Washington DC area. Best of the best. And now, he was being sent to her, by Hunnigan as a recommendation from Claire Redfield, so she could take a look at his slit and his insides. 

Leon wasn’t even there yet and he was already dying of embarrassment. 

If it was just a normal doctor that he didn’t know, and it was his first time going, he wouldn’t feel that way. But because it was Rebecca fucking Chambers? Someone that wasn’t a total stranger and associated with people her and Leon knew and were friends with? He was nervous and embarrassed as all hell. Especially since her “Main Office” was in the BSAA HQ right here in DC, he was not looking forward to having to not only ask where Becca’s office was...but face the possibility of having to explain why he was there to see her. 

He felt another wave of anxiety wash over him as he pulled up to the front gate: What if the people here already knew why he was there? 

“Hey, Agent Kennedy!” The soldier greeted with a friendly smile, “You can pull right in. Captain Valentine told us you would be stopping by today. You have to see Dr. Chambers, right?” 

Leon looked up at the soldier from his car with a horrified expression on his face. Jill knew?! He asked the soldier what Jill told him, and the soldier shrugged, explaining that she only told him that Leon would be stopping by to talk to Dr. Chambers about something. Although he wouldn’t know when, he and the other soldiers were told to just let Leon in whenever he stopped by. Leon asked if Jill knew the reason, but the soldier couldn’t give him a solid answer. 

“All we know is that you switched doctors.” The soldier admitted, “Don’t know what kind or why, but it’s none of our business, Agent Kennedy, so you don’t have anything to worry about.” 

Although still a bit anxious, Leon merely gave a nod and thanked the younger, driving through the now opened gate. Okay, so, maybe no one knew why he was here. No one would actually care if they knew either. He gave a relieved sigh and a chuckle, shaking his head at himself as he took another deep breath. Maybe he was just being paranoid.  

He had nothing to worry about.

________

“Wait...she’s not here yet?!” Jessica Sherawat exclaimed, slamming her hands on the front desk and further annoying DC. 

“Chill.” DC simply said, a look of annoyance on his feature, “Rebecca’s just running late is all. She sounded like she just woke up when she called in. Probably stayed up helping a case.” 

“I don’t give a damn if she was up inventing the cure for every virus in the goddamn world!” Jessica exclaimed, “I need to see her right fucking now!” 

“Well, you’re gonna have to wait.” DC said, looking down at the check-in book, “She’s expecting a patient and your “appointment” isn’t exactly important...especially since Nadia, Damian and I all know that C wouldn’t be down with you doing that kind of shit behind his back. Besides, aren’t you on break?” 

Jessica rolled her eyes and gave a “Whatever”. It wasn’t DC, Nadia and Damian’s business as to why she was there. And she didn’t appreciate the accusations...even if they were true. Which they were, but only if she could convince Rebecca to follow through on her end. She had already seduced that little creep down in R&D, Quint having already prepared Chris’s sperm for her. So, Rebecca just had to finish the job. 

Jessica just needed to get this done before Chris came in and before tomorrow when the man would be deployed for an assignment over in Europe. She was already spinning the tale in her head by the time someone came in. Jessica turned, thinking it was Rebecca coming through the door, but frowning and groaning in annoyance. 

“You’re not Dr. Chambers.” She deadpanned, looking over the Omega with dark hair that had just showed up. Agent Kennedy from the DSO, if she recalled.  

Leon blinked at the Beta before him, clearing his throat and apologizing to the unknown female, “Uh...no, sorry...but I’m here to see her. I have an appointment.” 

He stepped by her, apologizing once more as he approached the front desk, talking to DC about this appointment. DC greeted him with a warm and friendly smile, explaining that Rebecca was running late and that Leon should go wait in her office in the meantime. 

“For what you’re here for,” DC said, looking over the sticky note, “You’re gonna want to go to her office and then go into the room label A4. She’ll meet you there when she gets here.” 

A blush dusted Leon’s cheeks, the Omega thanking him and following the man’s directions to Rebecca’s office and Room A4. DC reassured that he only knew why Leon was here so he could direct him in case something like this happened and to remind Rebecca, who could sometimes be forgetful when she was exhausted or buried in work. Leon thanked the man again and made his way to her office. 

“What the hell is he doing here?” Jessica asked, leaning against the desk. 

“I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” DC replied, turning his attention back to his cellphone, “Don’t tempt me...now, since you’re so hellbent, go wait for Dr. Chambers in Room B4. No promises that she’ll go through with what you’re asking...and she’ll probably tell Chris if you somehow get her to do so.” 

________________________________________________________________

Rebecca looked over her notes, sticky notes and other little things DC jotted down for her as she waltzed in, apologizing profusely to DC and asking if everyone was here already. She had been up all night going over stuff for a conference in a couple weeks and then another doctor asked her to look over virus strains that they had been seeing overseas in Europe. She was extremely exhausted and had already spilled her coffee all over the sticky notes. 

Rebecca squinted at the notes, drying them in vain with a napkin as she tried to read them. She was supposed to meet with Leon Kennedy for...something in Room...A4? And then Jessica Sherawat for...something else in...that looked like B4. Shit...what was Jessica doing here? She could only vaguely remember something about Rebecca looking into something for her. She must have been here for her yearly examination. 

She remembered something about a sperm donor...a volunteer for Chris...but who had she spoken to about that? Was that why Leon was here? Cause she couldn’t imagine Chris wanting Jessica to carry his baby for him, especially after the mess she made of their relationship. But the woman was still obsessed and Rebecca was pretty sure Chris had moved on. 

She didn’t have time to really mull it all over, she was late enough as it was. 

With a sigh, she looked and saw the already sperm filled syringe sitting on the counter, looking at the smeared “A4” label on it. Phew, so it was for Leon. That was a relief, Chris would kill her if he found out she had helped Jessica get pregnant with his kid. So, Jessica was the one who was here for the Pap Smear then. 

Little had she known, Chris wasn’t looking for a volunteer for anything at all like that and this was going to turn into a huge mess. 

________________________________________________________________

Due to the amount of times he had gone to the gynecologist, Leon had already stripped out of his clothes and got into the hospital gown. He grumbled as he got his legs into the stirrups, pulling on the blanket so he wouldn’t have to look Rebecca in the eye during all this. Blue eyes were trained on the weird, popcorn tiled ceiling, trying not think himself out of this appointment. He only had to come here once every few months. 

“I can do this.” Leon whispered to himself, “I don’t even have to look directly at her, we share some light conversation while she sticks her fingers in me...and then it’ll be done. I can go home, order some take-out, feed Munchie and go to bed.” 

He nearly hopped off of the table and bolted through the door when he heard it open, Rebecca smiling and greeting him warmly as she came in. That it had been a while since she had seen him last. She set down her clipboard as she sat on the stool, rolling it and lifting the blanket to see him. 

“Hey, Dr. High Hopes,” Leon greeted awkwardly, “Right to business?” 

“Yeah,” Rebecca said, putting on gloves and yawning loudly, “Sorry, late night. Stayed up working on some stuff so I didn’t get a lot of sleep.” 

“Oh, well, that sucks.” Leon replied, still staring at the ceiling, wincing as he heard the snap of rubbing against skin, “I reschedule and come back another time if right now isn’t so good.”

“No, no, it’s fine. It’ll be quick, I’ll go see my other patient, catch-up on some work,” She yawned again as she prepared the syringe, uncapping it and inserting it inside of Leon, “And then go nap in the barracks...or in another room.” 

Leon jumped as he felt her insert...what was she inserting? It didn’t feel like those clampy thingies. Maybe it was a camera? Is that how they did Pap Smears here? He didn’t think to question it, feeling something wet get injected inside of him. Lubricant? He shrugged to himself. He just wanted her to get this done as soon as possible so he could get out of here. He decided to indulge her in light conversation, recommending that she take a vacation or something. 

She chuckled at that, emptying the contents of the syringe before pulling the instrument out of him, discarding it in the waste bin marked “Biohazard”, “Maybe...and we’re done!” She informed him, lowering the blanket and pulling off her gloves. 

Leon gave the ceiling, and then her, a puzzled look, “That’s it?” 

She gave a nod, “Uh huh.” She gathered her clipboard, writing down some notes, “I recommend plenty of vitamins, a good diet, adequate exercise, yadda yadda yadda.” She informed him with a tired chuckle, about ready to doze off. 

Leon pulled his legs out of the stirrups, sitting up straight on the examination table, “Oh. Wow, okay.” He chuckled, “You’re the first doctor to give me advice like that after a Pap Smear. Thanks.” 

She merely gave a nod, waving him off and telling him to have a good day with another tired nod. Leon said the same to her in return, waiting until the door closed to get up and quickly get redressed. He didn’t plan on sticking around for small talk. 

Rebecca was halfway down to Jessica’s room when Leon’s words hit her brain, stopping dead in her tracks, “Wait...pap smear?” She looked back in confusion but looked forward as someone called for her, Quint speeding down the hall toward her and telling her to wait. 

Behind her, Leon was all but speed walking out of his room, heading back to the main lobby and to the parking lot before anyone could stop to talk to him. 

“DOC! DON’T DO IT!” Quint hollered, “JESSICA FORCED ME TO DO IT! CHRIS IS GONNA KILL ME IF HE FINDS OUT!” 

“What?!” Rebecca asked as Quint stood before her, out of breath and panicking, “What are you talking about?” 

“Jessica!” Quint exclaimed. 

Even though he was sort of out of breath, he explained that Jessica had come in last night and had Quint unfreeze Chris’s sperm. She blackmailed and seduced him into doing so, and she originally wanted him to inject her with Chris’s sperm, but he didn’t know how to do all that. So, Jessica came in today with the intent of convincing Rebecca to do it. 

Rebecca’s face dropped, “But...but...no, she’s here for a…Pap...smear...” 

Her eyes widened in shock, looking back at Leon’s room, remembering once again what Leon had said. Oh shit…

She dropped her clipboard and ran to Leon’s room, throwing open the door as she did so. Leon wasn’t there. Quint had asked what was the matter, but she didn’t respond, pushing past him and running back toward the lobby. She went to the front desk as DC and Nadia were changing shifts, asking either of them if they had seen Agent Kennedy. 

“Yeah, he just left.” DC explained, “He ran like there was a rocket up his ass.” 

“...SHIT!” Rebecca exclaimed, going to the front door and watching as Leon’s car left through the front gate. 

“What happened?” Quint asked, “Doc, what’s wrong?” 

Rebecca turned back to all of them, “...I fucked up.”  

[currentfandomkick]

Bio! Dad Strange part 4

Shorter but a paris update for her life and a little on gotham with Jason as Robin while Tim is a hero Stalker.

Marinette is 7 when she changes schools, ordered into the Dupont school chain by her teachers since she was getting ‘difficult’ and contradicting their ciriculum. When they challeneged her on this, she went to the school board with Rolland beside her of all people.

The board agreed on one thing, Marinette’s contradictions were not only factually correct, but were done to prevent the outdated ciriculum from hurting her classmates. Instead of punishing her, she got to skip a gade and was given to Dupont as a ‘highly reccomended gifted student’.

Her first day she met Max, who also skipped a grade. The pair bond in five seconds over a new programming focused on learning emotional intelligence. Uncle Riddler was showing her it, and Max got his hands on a various ai bases. This led to then teaming up and designing the one and only Markov together, if only in schematics.

A week in and the two notice that some kids are being followed around by a guy with a bat. They report it. Again and again, but no one can find him.

One day he catches the pair on their way to Max’s—they wanted to work on their ai together, ok? The guy tries to hit Max, saying something about them being lucky metas that needed to suffer.

Marinette’s gotham training kicked in. She caught the bat, ripped it away from him and hit him in the chest with it, while yelling at max to run.

At the end of the incident, videotaped by a bystander, the Dupont Stalker was arrested.

Marinette was given another name by the police, ‘fille de batte’ or bat girl. Her having family in gotham only made the nickname more popular.

This put her on Kim and Alix’s radar. Kim wanted a challenge for fighting and competitions, and this tiny kid did that—to an adult! New friend and rival!

Alix was went from shock to joy as Marientte does art. She does art. Art friend to rant to found!

Nino ran into Marinette not long after Kim and Alix attached themselves to her and Max. Nino became their judge for Kim challenges. Including Mari pinning Kim to the mat, or deciding who did a circus move better (Mari won acrobatics).

Chloe doesnt go to dupont until next year, and sabrina is in another class, mildly concerned for Marinette.

In this au, again, Dupont is considered a ‘i would not be shocked if there were metas there’ school for gifted kids in any way.

Marinette is sent there for her insane science obsession at the time, but is also put in their arts program with Alix to develop as an artist with her medium, fabrics and fashion.

And if marinette redesigns hero outfits as “monsiuer ross, scribbles have more style, let alone fashion sense” alot, well. Kids get obsessed a lot and the Justice League is a common one, as are known villians. Her everyday outfits having different hero schemes—oddly enough some forensic scientist she’s obsessed with from some american city ended up in her mix—well. She’s a kid and showing signs a few types of anxiety.

Possible social and OCD and a developing case of perfectionism common to the arts program. The school has her see a therapist and know she isnt telling them everything beyong mild concern for her gotham family, and confusion over people just ‘not getting things’ as she is terribly smart and good at finding patterns and how do people not see it?

By the end of the year Marinette is in a strong friend group who’s parents and hers have decided to have joint custody during the school year.

She was now (forced) to learn vietnamese from Kim’s Grandparents, italian from Rolland (her nonno that has a Thing for tradition and somehow married Gina and raised Tom mostly on his own while running the bakery to boot), english from Father/Strange, Mandarin from her Maman and she started Arabic to talk with Nino’s aunt who kept saying marinette was her future in-law and point out that nino and her are friends, not dating ma’am.

However, Nino endured most of this with her-not the italian or Mandarin, but the others. Kim couldnt get Arabic but mandarin was a breeze for him. Alix cannot get vietnamese or arabic but Mandarin is her jam after french. Max just speaks french and english, he understands the others he just cant get the sounds right, ok?

When Marinette goes back to Gotham that summer, she ends up dealing with Hero Stalker Tim (jason is robin now) while looking for Red Hoodie who No oNE is telling her what happened and she’s worried, ok?

Tim feeds her obbsession with fixing problems. He sometimes sends her building layouts of places Catwoman stole from. And then the jewlry reappears thanks to a nervous Marinette coached by Rose and Ghoul while Frost handles her post-fix it freak out. Tim also may or may not get helped by her alot during Batman Stalking Time as she teaches his butt how to sneak and complains he’s worse than penguin.

Tim hates that, works on it, and still has nonidea who she is. He does admit to figuring out who batman may be, but needs more evidence so...

Marinette hits him becuase “thats dangerous!” And tries to lecture him in identites.

Batman’s radiowave was used for said lecture.

“And it puts their families in danger you, uh, hero stalker! And stuff so no more identity investigations!”

“They have the same builds, and did signsture moves from—“ the signal cutout.

He and Jason are more careful... ish. They change channels and monitor the old one.

Sometimes Batman catches Marinette and Tim talking about coldcases and she has asked three times if he heard anything about Jason’s street kid identity. Jason is feeling guilty about this as she’s his Pixie Pop. This lets Bruce know that the probably-clark’s-kid would keep Jason away from GCPD and CPS.

When a convo leads to Batman finding out Tim and Marinette have considered asking the police for help with a case of medicine that needed to be recalled as it was beign used to mule drugs contaminated the batches and hurt patients, but turned it down after she saw some taking bribes from Fish, Batman lets Gordon know and an investigation is launched.

While Bats is away, Jason visits marinette as Robin and tries to get her to bats for more information and a lecture on heroing without adult supervision. Maybe.

Only she’s currently stealing from a sleeping selina at another HQ. A Selina who has stopped trying to stop marinette and let riddler turn her house into one of his ‘traps’ to stop Marinette’s ‘return theiving’.

Jason gets stuck in a trap. Marinette is gone by then, scared Robin will tell Superman about her and he’ll hurt her family or something.

Catwoman is annoyed at Marinette’s sucess. She goes to stop the girl after leaving him tied up for Batman with a message: leave her new kitten-to-be alone.

Follow up talk post-Caught Marinette reverse theiving.

“Blame the Council’s decrees. She’s their little princess, and my new neice,” Catwoman watched Batman carefully.

Confused Batman in interrogator mode. “You mean the Court of Owls, arent they disbanded?”

“Bats, the council is gotham’s underground. Apparently Two-Face made the contracts as penance for scaring the Princess during a breakout. Unless you want an organized attack by the council, steer clear of her.”

Batman conencts the dots and curses himself. The girl he was looking for last summer is the Princess of Gotham’s underground. It will be hell finding her. And Superman/Clark will lose it when he’s told.

He lets the JL know about it, saying ‘possibly kyptonian clone, female child. Gotham’s underground is calling her their Princess. Connor and Kidflash tailed her last summer during the arkham breakout while Robin was with the Titans. Be alert for a small asian girl.’

That was how Marinette ended up on the JL watch list and how Superman had another existential crisis.

Dick freaks out with the Titans over this. Becuase kyltonian raised by villians is terrifying. Jason forwarded the message and adds on “she’s a good kid and wants to help. Somehow keeps zsasz and joker from killing people, so its not good to take her away or issolate her from the villians if you find her. From what i remember, she is terrified of her family beign put in danger. The others wont listen to me. If you can, pass this along to the other sidekicks and your allies—none of them trust me enough to listen. I cant talk to her as a civilian like i used to either for obvious reasons. And she’s terrified of me-Robin. Maybe you can get through to her, or someone else can. Just talk to her first, she’s more reasonsble than she looks”

Dick doesnt read the add on until much later and regrets it.

He met marinette once. She was a very excited kid babbling about aerodynamics in acrobatics and asking about that. Not hero things, not power things, or justice league but That.

He tried to be nice but he was having a horrible mission, saw the girl floating as she rambled and tried to grab her.

She freaked out and bolted, sort of. He got slammed into a building, or would have had she not caught him, rambled in french while trying to apologize (he was a but stunned from the throw, and rebooting as villian-kyptonian was... nice?) and put him on the roof, hit his communicator and said one thing.

“I think i broke your robin? All are robins like bird bones or something?”

He regained a functioning brain as that. That was something he could respond to.

“I am human thank you!”

That seemed to be enough for her as he moved to get up. She waved bye and bolted, something about Rose being mad at her for being late...

“Titans. I think we might have been wrong about the kid...”

Later with Young Justice the info was passed on.

Jason asked if anyone read his attachment and was met with silence. He groaned and told them “so another team she’s going to avoid... great.”

Marinette added the titans to her list of ‘people to aviod—tetch and Jerimah were the worst. Luthor and Cadmus were under them. Then the entire Justice League (they would tell batman or superman. Snitches.), followed by GCPD, CPS, the Bat Family and now Titans. She wonders if she needs to add anyone else, and hates that she cant talk to heroes. They could help with controlling her powers instead of suppressing them but she cant trust them not to give her to superman like batman did with Rose to Poison Ivy and she’s pretty sure Superboy too.

Next time, times marinette accidently put together identities and curses Hero Stalker Tim for her now knowing.

[bunnies-n-bowties]

I wasn’t going to post this originally (because it’s drawn on my phone and it’s bad), but I’m going to anyway because I’m back in school and I don’t know when I’ll get to do another drawing. (Also it’s old, so I’m sorry.) 

Context to this drawing  AND THE ORIGINAL PLOT TO MY DIRECTOR D ASK BLOG BELOW (Warning, it’s long and boring.): 

Hello, and welcome to my long and boring context dbfvjdbjfv.

So in my Director D ask blog (which is on hiatus and I don’t know when I’ll get to it), there was a plot that I had in mind for it, but it never occurred either because I wasn’t motivated, or things got to complex. So I want to explain the overall plot to what would have happened just to give some context. Before I do that however I want to talk a bit about the characters involved and what state they are currently in to explain their behaviors or actions in the plot. 

Director “David” Dangerous:

Current State: As you all know, he has been rehired as, well, Director in HQ. Muddy decided that would be best because he ran it really well, and she wasn’t prepared for the job herself. She also wanted to give him a second chance. Because of this opportunity, he as gained a redemption arc and did his best to prove that he is a better person. (Which is he is, yay.) 

Backstory: Director has been an agent since he was a teen, and was eventually promoted to Director of HQ. (He had actual hair during this time.) During his training, he made a friend named Rose, who eventually became his girlfriend. However, when he was promoted, he became very valuable to other agencies (bad ones), and one day (to make this short), he went on a mission with Rose and other agents, and...Rose didn’t make it. She, in heroism, jumped in front of Director before he could get shot by one of the criminals. This was really devastating to Director because this was his first love interest, and he blames himself for her death. Throughout the years after, his hair slowly fell out, and he became the Director we first meet. (Not current.) Which explains why he avoids getting attached to people or even show any affection. Yes, he is single. 

Dr. “Harvey” Hare:

Yeah um...he’s still part of this story because he was apart of it originally, but he doesn’t really play a big part anymore. I don’t have an exact redemption arc for him, but he’s good now and is trying to blend in with society (which is hard when you were a villain before and you are literally a rabbit hybrid). He’s living a normal life. Currently, he is single, because he was dating Mordred, but they broke up. (Don’t worry! They both agreed it was for the best and are friends now.) Harvey is now trying his best to support Mordred during his affections toward Director and helps him upgrade his robotic half when he needs them. I am not sure if he will eventually have someone, but if he does he will probably end up with Raven. (Don’t @ me, I kinda like that ship.) 

Backstory:

You guys know this one! X3

and Finally...The one you guys have been waiting for for...(Bored yet?)

Binary “Mordred” Bard:

Current State: Bard is...oof. He doesn’t exactly have a redemption arc because he’s doesn’t care, at all. He’s...neutral. He’s not planning any bad schemes, that for sure, but he’s really rude and HATES affection. He’s also living a normal life, and mostly sleeps during the day if he doesn’t have any plans. (Which of course, most of the time, he doesn’t. He learned from Merlin.) During the night, however, he continues his study of the stars and keeps a journal of his findings, which actually brings him joy. (Which is why he does it when no one is looking.) Surprisingly, because the whole reason he’s a grumpy person and hates interaction is because of all the time he spent in space, but he doesn’t blame the stars for that. They were his only company, after all. After the break up with Dr. Hare, his grumpiness got worse, and even before this he was in rivalry with Director (who at the time had feelings for Dr. Hare as well). They broke up because Bard starting to develop feelings for someone else, and Dr. Hare thought it would be best because he didn’t want to be part of this rivalry anymore. (He didn’t want either of them hurt, in other words.) Who’s that new person?....Wow! How did you guess it? It’s Raven- no it’s Director. He has feelings for Director now. He developed feelings for THE ONE PERSON that did not show any affection toward him...ironic. Boom, want to get to him? Hate him back. (Joking please don’t.) However, he pushes these feelings down and continues on with his life. (More grumpiness, woo!)

Backstory:

You guys also know this one. owo 

Now, onto the plot of my blog. (I can’t believe you are still reading this. I am so sorry.)

So basically as some of you might have seen, (or not because I deleted the posts dnjfkvndkjf), Director got overworked and took the week off. He looked horrible.

He was going to be taken care of by his butler James (who’s actually younger than him). But, during this time, Bard decided that enough was enough, and he wanted to tell Director the truth and get it over with. However, when he got to HQ, Muddy told him Director was sick and left. He left, but to Director mansion. He used the excuse to help Director feel better during the week. (Such as feeding him, and give him medicine.)

On the final day, he was going to tell him how he felt. Now here is where we get a bit complicated. 

Director’s Answer:

The big reveal! As some of you might have hoped for... there are two endings. I’ll go over the good ending first because it’s short and sweet.

Good ending: 

Director says yes, decides to give Mordred an actual redemption arc, and he eventually becomes a better person. After a couple of years, they get married and live under Director’s mansion. Happily ever after. (I can’t wait to draw wedding drawings eventually!) 

Bad ending:

This explains the picture above. This ending ends up with Director saying he’s not ready for a relationship, and that he still has mixed feelings toward Bard. Bard is okay at first, (”I’m fine, I’m fine it’s cool.”) but because of all that compression of his feelings toward Director, Director’s answer triggers a virus Mordred develops because of said compression...and he loses his sanity. He’s become obsessed, but not by choice. He kidnaps Director, Muddy (by herself or by the help of other agents who would have helped via questions on my blog)  save him, and fight Modred. Eventually, they are (Director with the help of Dr. Hare) are able to reboot him back to normal after the fight, and he returns to a miserable life. The end. :3

“But Jay, which ending was going to be the actual ending to their story arc?”

...

You know, I wish I could answer that. I am writing out their story because come on, this was not going to be drawn out. I know myself, and that was not going to happen, I am so sorry. XD I apologize you had to read all that just for a *shrug* I don’t know. You can decide what happens to them. If you made it this far, thank you for dealing with my dumb plot and writing. Please ask me questions about the story!! I would love to answer them I am sure I left some points out that might not make any sense. (Or make me choose an ending! XD I don’t know.) But yeah.

That’s their fate, and the context of this drawing. 

[scorpiosanssexy]

Pls can i request a roommate matchup (i love this idea its so cute) i am an ENFP, my hogwarts house is Gryffindor. I typically kin with characters like Noya and Hinata cause i love the crackhead brother vibes! I am really into a lot of different animes but my favourites are HxH, HQ and Blue Exorcist! I currently study Geology at University which i loveeee. I also have a v bubbly personality that can go from 0-100 real quick sometimes. (1)

I{ am definitely NOT an early riser! If i have to be then it is what it is but if i have the choice no i am lying in. I actually can cook and really enjoy it, i also love having friends over a lot because i’m a sociable person (but i would always prewarn my flatmates etc) I have played sport all my life (field hockey i literally love it) and i’m a bigggg film buff!! I have really bad hayfever. My anime crush is Daichi👀 (2) }

Dear User

congratulations, we have found you a potenial roommate. We have throughly looked through your application and we hope you are happy with your results. Below this post are all the details about them. 

Yours Sincerely

The Accomodation Team 

Name: Ennoshita Chikara 

Birthday: 26th December (Capricorn) 

MBTI: INFP

Honey, this man has single handedly managed Tanaka and Noya for three straight years, nothing and I mean nothing can phase this man when it comes to your personality

He doesn’t mind your flamboyant personality at all, I feel that he is drawn to those kinda people, probably because of this insecurity of coming across too boring

If you are ever stressed, I feel like Ennoshita is just really good at calming you down, like he is a huge empath and will always have an ear to lend.

Anyway onto the more fun stuff

He is more of a into horror animes and if you haven’t seen it already would totally introduce shows like Tokyo Ghoul and The Promised Neverland, me scared ass could never

But you have introduced him to the world of Shouen, he is forever in your debt. Congratuations he is obsessed with Hunter x Hunter

Wants to make a film based of HxH whaaaat

You too would discuss all your favourite animes in great detail over dinner and talk about why exactly shouen protagonists always lack father figures and how shit their mental health must be

Would buy merch for the apartment too

Now baby is a bit clueless when it comes to geology, but he learns a lot as you passionately talk about it now

He likes to go to the beach and collect shells and put’s them around the place

He likes learning about the history too

You and ennoshita both bond over the fact you hate the mornings, he gives me night owl vibes and he doesn’t go to sleep until 3 in the morning

He needs coffee in the morning to function

I feel you are 100% better than him tho when it comes to waking up, so you usually have to rip the curtains open and clang some pots and pans to wake up this sleepy head

seeing his bed hair is worth the angry stares

Ennoshita will love the fact you can cook, he only knows really basic dishes ( I mean beans on toast basic)

He likes to chat about his day while you are cooking and he sometimes likes to help out too, your little sous chef

I feel ennoshita has a really diverse friend group and is open to meeting lots of new people so he doesn’t mind when your friends all come over

besides Tanaka and Noya are always crash ennoshita’s place becuase it’s really swanky

ennoshita never understands how they manage to get in  you gave them a spare key

yeah you, tanaka and noya become a chaotic squad

you also give them tips on how to flirt wiht girls and you are constantly feeding them all the time

they are little bit in love

anyway it has now become a house rule that the three of you are not allowed in the apartment alone, noya and tanaka probably broke something

so one night ennoshita is caught late at work/university/other and he calls Daichi to come over and babysit you three, kiss kiss fall in love

Let’s just now say that Daichi also crashes at Ennoshita’s place

ANYWAY, you too are both obsessed with films which is great

you try once a week to have a moive night, every alternate week you get to pick the movie. You also ranks the movies and give them full reviews

Depending on where your creative talents lie, Ennoshita 100% ropes you in to do some of his movies

You guys do have a blast

Your apartment is a little messy, ennoshita has a wall full of DVDs all in alphabetical order and you have all your shells and cookbooks lying about the place

Overall you have an Imaginative, empathetic but stern roomate

Other Potential Matches: Tanaka Ryuunosuke and Yamaguchi Tadashi

Askbox if still open

[sakumosowainthirst]

This is going to be a copy-paste of a rant I did on Twitter, which you can find here.  It will be spaced like my individual tweets.  I’ll also fix a few stray typos.

Buckle up, boys and girls, because SakuMo's about to make an unpopular opinion thread. The disparity between commissioned fanart vs commissioned fanfiction: a thread.

First, a few disclaimers: 

Don't @ me about legality.  All forms of paid fanwork are technically illegal.

This is not an attack on fanartists; I have nothing but mad respect for them.

There is a HUMONGOUS gap between the way fanart is viewed as a whole and the way fanfiction is viewed. If I had to make a comparison, I feel like fanart is the jocks/popular kids of the fandom world, whereas fanfiction is the chess/av club.

Fanart is seen as this amazing thing that talented people make and should be paid for. Fanfic is viewed as something teenage girls do to insert themselves into stories to date/have sex with canon characters. Those things exist, but so does "bad" fanart, for lack of better wording.

I can't scroll through Tumblr or Twitter without tripping over at least 6 artists advertising their commission info. In my near 20 years of writing fanfiction, I have only seen TWO writers do the same, and they severely undercharged and were still given flack for it.

Writing good fanfiction, the kind that makes you scream, "I've always wanted this!" and come back to read it again and again, takes time. Good writing takes years and countless hours to craft, the same as good art does.

Really good fanfic authors research their canon of choice thoroughly so they can adhere to it or bend it in a way that seems plausible. Owain's wiki page is practically my homepage from all the research I've done for fics.

But there is just this huge disconnect between how fanart is treated vs how fanfiction is treated. It's commonplace for fanartists to charge upwards of $40 for fanart, but a fanfic writer asking for $1/100 words is seen as ludicrous and overcharging.

"Anyone can write fanfiction, though."

Yeah, and anyone can draw stick figures and call it fanart. Truly good fanfiction takes hours upon hours to craft. It takes a grasp of grammar rules (which are a mess in English) as well as a varied vocabulary, knowledge of theming--a lot.

And yet fanfiction is still viewed as lesser in the fanwork kingdom, and fanfic authors aren't valued anywhere near the way fanartist are. And that isn't to say fanartists should be valued less; it's to say fanfic authors should be valued more.

I was discussing the pipe dream of a fanfic zine the other day with a friend, where the focus was on fics with maybe 1-2 illustrations, like in children's books. She asked me, "I love it, but would anyone honestly buy it?" The fact I could not definitively say yes speaks volumes. 

Maybe I'm just a bitter fanfic author, but writing commissions should be as normalized as fanart comms, and fanfic authors should be able to charge reasonable rates for their work without being bullied for it.

Just like fanart, fanfic isn't something you can just pull out of thin air, at least not if it's any decent caliber. There are fanfic authors who obsess over their fics as much as actual authors, and they are valid to do so.

"Just write original content to make money on your writing."

This is dismissive and feeds into the idea that fanfic is lesser. This ideology isn't nearly as ubiquitous in fanart circles as it is in fanfic circles. Fanfic is a valid art form and deserves respect.

I'll repeat that: fanfic is a valid art form and deserves respect. Fanfic authors are valid writers and deserve respect. They should be able to ask for fairly priced commissions just as easily as fanartists. But as things stand now, they aren't and they can't. And it's not fair.

Do me a favor: head to AO3 and look up your favorite fandom. Read a few fics. You'll probably find some dreck in there, but I can guarantee you'll find some published-caliber writing in there, the same as you'd find HQ art mixed in with "lesser quality" art in a Google search.

I know you will because I've seen it. I've seen fanfics that surpass the quality of canon authors, and I've seen published books that are of vastly lesser quality than fanfiction. Fics that treat the canon better than the canon writers do.

And while you're there, kudo and more importantly COMMENT ON those fics. Feedback is lifeblood for fanfic authors, and it is also not as ubiquitous as it should be. I love getting kudos, but I C H E R I S H every comment and have cried over some.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Now please go out there and thank a fanfic author. Comment on their fics, on every chapter. Interact with them. Commission them. Treat them with the same love and care you do your fav fanartist. Because they deserve it and don't get it enough.

[agentdagonet]

Echoes, Ch. 23

Find it here on AO3

Find it here on tumblr:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 1516 1718 19 20 21 22

Fic Summary: Feet dangling off the edge of the bed, hands still resting on the earpieces of his glasses, Eggsy opened his eyes.

And promptly shut them again, screwing them shut like a child who had the distinct misfortune of biting into a raw lemon. Breathing harshly in his nose and out his mouth, trying to stave off whatever delusional panic had befallen him, Eggsy reopened his eyes.

‘Harry?’

Or: The Hologram Story Nobody Asked For

A/N Hey, everyone! A LOT has changed! So I'm sorry about the sporadic updates (who am I kidding, they've always been sporadic, but at least I have reasons?) but there has been LOADS of adjusting to do.I moved from Florida to Texas less than 2 weeks ago. The last couple months have been preparing for that move (it's my first time living away from my entire support system/family) and the next few months are going to be adjusting to my new job and unpacking and learning my new town.So. Updates will be delayed again! But I PROMISE I am working on this stuff, guys. It's really happening. Slowly, but surely.

         Eggsy hated New Zealand. It was hot, everything wanted to kill you, and it was (too far away to even try to call home) just so off from the way they spoke to the way they dealt with the local nuisances.

         Or maybe Eggsy was just Homesick, and couldn’t get himself to admit it.

         The first time Eggsy had thought of the mews as home he’d stopped stock still in the middle of the aisle. He’d been grabbing some groceries, and texted Harry if he needed any more of that weird tea he liked to drink in their office- you need any of your gross tea or have we got enough at home? It had flown off his fingertips and been sent off before he realised what had happened. What he’d said. It made him paranoid about other untimely slips of the tongue (or fingers, in this case) but he couldn’t bring himself to care very much.

         He had a home. He didn’t know if the concept was as novel for Harry as it was for him, but Eggsy was going to grasp it with both hands and take it for everything it was worth.

         And that meant keeping a lid on his overall obsession with the man he lived with. It meant a lot of quiet wanking and false bravado- but he couldn’t risk home over something as trivial as lust (he refused to call it love, that would make it too real; too solid, too big ). He caught himself watching Harry’s mission archives more often, ostensibly to learn a thing or two from his mentor but actually because Harry flowed like water. Eggsy was all using his environment, there was only so much he could do about his habit of using parkour before some other fancy spy technique, but Harry just used himself. And it was probably the hottest thing Eggsy had ever seen.

         See, not everyone had a library like this of their shit, but Harry had a habit of doing things in incredibly flashy ways and the Lake had started doing everything they could to get into security cameras specifically to see what fancy step he was going to do this time. Eggsy had been tempted more than once to ask about dance lessons, because there was only way to be that in tune with every centimetre of your body- but he didn’t want to risk Harry offering to teach him like he had etiquette.

         A man could only stop himself for so long, and those circumstances lent themselves far more to intimacy than anything else.

         As the jet touched down at HQ Eggsy pulled off his tie and threw his jacket over one arm, leaving him in the holsters and button-down, and made his way to Merlin for debrief. He still didn’t understand the point of debrief when one of the handlers was there the entire time and had talked him through almost every decision- but who was he to tell a spy agency how it worked.

         He guessed it was also a way to trick agents into sticking around long enough to be dragged to medical, if unwillingly. Eggsy was too grateful to have easy access to the shit he needed to fight about getting looked over- even on days he just wanted to drown his sorrows at the Prince. But, he figured people who were used to saving the world on the regular probably thought their problems were minor in comparison. Maybe he was the outlier because it was still a novel experience?

         But, honestly, what did it matter? All he had left was a debrief and a quick check at medical (no damage outside of some bruising this time, thank fuck) before he could go home.

         Home. It practically filled him with glee, but Eggsy kept the skip from his step as he approached Merlin’s office.

         ‘So?’

         ‘What d’you mean “So”? I went, I got up close and personal with the target, got the info, and got out with minimal fuss. It’s all in the feed- I even followed the plan this time!’

         ‘See, that’s what’s got me so worried- Eggsy never follows guidance, so who are you?’ It was said blandly, but Eggsy stuck his tongue out and Merlin broke, smiling softly. ‘But seriously, Eggsy, are you okay?’

         ‘Why wouldn’ I be?’ Eggsy was genuinely confused, he was feeling better than he had in a long fucking time.

         ‘You look like you’re trying to keep somethin’ inside, and usually you only do that when it’s bad.’ Merlin’s unusually serious, and Eggsy can tell that he’s actually worried about him- it’d been a while since that happened.

         ‘I’m just happy, Merls- tryin’ not to skip about the place like a loon, to be honest.’ Merlin looked shocked for a moment, but he didn’t really relax.

         ‘Well, not to ruin your mood or anything- but I wanted to apologise.’

         ‘What for?’

         ‘I know it’s been some time, but I didn’t really understand how out of sorts the loss of Harry made you.’ This was a conversation Eggsy was expecting to happen exactly never. It’d been abouts a year now, what did it matter? ‘And I wanted to apologise for ignoring your struggles.’

         ‘I don’ get what that has to do with now.’

         ‘It doesn’t really, but I knew if I let you go I’d just put it off again, and again, and again. You deserved to hear it, and I needed to say it, but I have a procrastination problem, if you can believe- usually it’s only with emotional shite. Can’t predict an outcome, gives me anxiety like little else can.’  Merlin was rambling, just what had happened to pull this up to the surface?

         ‘It weren’t your fault, mate.’ What else could he say? It wasn’t Marlin’s fault that Harry’s death had fucked Eggsy up so badly. It wasn’t his fault that Eggsy had attached himself to the first positive thing that happened afterward that was his own- if only by a technicality. Wasn’t his fault that Eggsy had almost lost himself in the job, in being a Kingsman before being himself.

         ‘Knowing something logically and knowing something emotionally are two very different things, Eggsy- I knew I couldn’t actually get past this guilt until I made sure you were entirely aware.’

         ‘The fuck is your guilt for, then? You were here, you kept me after everything and helped me with Dean and so much else- what the fuck could you possibly feel guilty for?’ Eggsy was incredulous, arms loose at his sides and head cocked to one side- a very Harry gesture, Merlin noted, though it didn’t seem at all purposeful.

         ‘I made some assumptions pretty early on, without all of the facts, and it was brought to my attention that they did you a disservice.’ Merlin paused, and he looked simultaneously distinctly uncomfortable and as if he had much more to say.

         ‘You don’t have to apologise, Merlin- we all had shit to do and people to save; we’re through it now. We did it.’

         ‘I feel as if I was a lesser friend, for not believing that Harry was alive when I couldn’t find a body or remains. You never stopped believing, and I know that more than a little of that was denial- but I also know some of it was due to the holograms. A mixture of both, you got attached to them because they were almost Harry and-’

         ‘This debrief over? Cos I’m suddenly not really feeling up to being psychoanalysed.’

         ‘The point,’ Merlin took a steadying breath, in through his nose and out through his mouth, ‘is that I assumed you had the resources to work through your grief. I assumed you had friends closer to your age you could commiserate with, I assumed you wouldn’t appreciate my butting in to your personal life; I assumed that you would be able to let go and move on without realising that you had never had to do it before.

         ‘I was a shit friend to you, Eggsy- and I was a worse friend to Harry, by trying to warn him of something he knew far better than I. I mourned my friend quietly and moved on- and then I left you to figure out how to do that on your own and I’m sorry.’

         Merlin hadn’t broken his gaze throughout his speech, but Eggsy just looked untethered. Adrift in a moment he didn’t really understand the process of arriving at. Merlin swallowed thickly, but Eggsy let the moment hang in the air a minute before coming back to himself and breaking the tension.

         ‘Bruv, you’ve got the strangest sense of guilt- so stop. Forget it. Take a breath and let it go because it don’t matter anymore. Yeah, I was in denial, I’d lost the first good thing to happen to me in two huge ways that day- I thought I was fucked. And then I somehow end up saving the world after fucking it up. I was all over the place- I barely felt like I lived in my body some days.’ Merlin grimaced, and Eggsy hurriedly backtracked.

         ‘The point, Merlin, is that a lot of shit was going on then. And, yeah, I didn’ have the best coping mechanisms- but it’s in the past . It happened, we got through it, and we’re all better for it now. I’m made up of all the shit that’s happened to me- good and bad. And my life is better than I could have hoped, I’ve got a home to come back to after ops, and I’m making a difference.’ Eggsy shrugged, ‘That’s all I really wanted in the first place, to be honest- to be able to help people. So, actually, thanks. Yeah- thanks, Merlin.’

‘I’m confused. How did we get here?’

         ‘You started this emotional shit, so you can shut it and let me thank you. You took a chance on V-Day, took a bigger chance after, and it’s really thanks to you that I get to do this at all. Harry may’ve brought me in, but you’re the one that shaped me- you made me a Kingsman. So, long as we’re giving each other unnecessary emotional speeches, thanks.’ It was said plainly, no tears or other such nonsense, but Eggsy knew he’d gotten to Merlin from the slump in his shoulders.

         ‘You were a Kingsman far before I Knighted you, Eggsy.’

         ‘Oh I know- after Harry told me about how Arthur rigged the last test I figured it was cos I was a real threat to his worldview. I’d be flattered if it weren’t so fucking stupid.’

         ‘He what?’ Merlin turned from Eggsy and began angrily typing, a small downward turn to his lips between bouts of muttered cussing.

         ‘How the fuck did Harry get that information before you did-’ Eggsy cut himself off- both not wanting to make Merlin more frustrated than he already was, and knowing that Merlin probably wouldn’t hear him anyway. A focused Merlin was a deaf Merlin, unless you were what he was focused on.

         Eggsy smiled to himself and sauntered from the room, eagre to get home.

[lailelizabeth]

Getting ready with You actress Elizabeth Lail before Ferragamo’s NYFW fête. In collaboration with Ferragamo.

“Have you watched You yet?” It’s a question that’s been asked many times at Coveteur HQ over the past few weeks, as the most Netflix-enthused editors among us sing the show’s praises for being addictive, thought-provoking, and incredibly creepy all at once. So, you can imagine our delight when Ferragamo rang us up to chat with it’s star Elizabeth Lail before the label’s New York Fashion Week dinner—a selection of Ferragamo’s newest pieces to fawn over included.

“I’m so drawn to the history of the brand,” Lail told us. “All the old Hollywood actors and actresses wore it. I find that very romantic and I feel really honored to be a part of that.”

Another honor? Landing the role of Beck in You—a young woman who bookstore manager Joe Goldberg, played by Penn Badgley, becomes obsessed with.

“I like to keep my expectations pretty low,” Lail told us of the impact she expected the show to have. “For me, it’s about being a part of the project and my experience on the project, and then after that it’s up to fate, I suppose.”

Fate determined that You would be hit—such a hit that Lail would be among those tapped to help Ferragamo celebrate the house’s new Gancini print. Before she headed to the party at Sant Ambroeus, and before she clinked glasses with women’s collections creative director, Paul Andrew, here’s what she told us about her North Carolina upbringing, her early days in NYC, and her favorite TV show (hint: it has nothing to do with a stalker).

You grew up in North Carolina, right? What was that like?

“Compared to New York, peaceful. [laughs]. I have a really incredible family, that was very supportive. [North Carolina] is where my love for acting started and my love for theater and movies. That’s where it all started.

I was going to ask about that. What initially drew you to the arts and to acting?

“My parents. They’re appreciators. They’re not actors themselves, but they would take me to see theater and I remember seeing a production of Les Mis and it just really moved me. I was like, ‘oh, I want to be up there doing it.’ Then, my mom forced me to audition for a play.”

Which play?

“Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. It’s also a movie—very old, classic. I was probably 13. I had the smallest part you could possibly have in a play, but I never stopped acting.”

You moved to New York right after college. Do you remember your first month in the city?

“I was glowing! I look at pictures from that time and I think I will never glow like that again. I think I was just bursting with excitement and optimism and joy. I was subletting a room in Queens and learning how to use the subway. Something about New York is very difficult, but when you get a hang of it, you feel very powerful.”  

That’s so true. Fast forward to your audition for You. Tells us about it:

“Well, when I first auditioned, I was reading all the cute scenes. I didn’t realize that all the stalking was going on. Then, I read the book in between my first audition and my chemistry read, and that’s when I realized what I was potentially getting myself into. The chemistry read with Penn was really natural and easy, and I kind of expected it not to be that way, because the odds of having chemistry with people are so slim. At least that’s been my experience, but we clicked really easily and naturally. He has a very open heart and he treats everyone the same in this really beautiful way, so I think that makes him easy to connect with.”

What was being on set like? Early mornings? Late nights? Filming all over the place?

“It was all of the above. You kind of have crazy hours—14 hour days. And because [my character] was the one being watched, I was there all the time. For me, it’s a joy, because I love to do it and you kind of learn how to take care of yourself in those extreme conditions. Then, I had really good cast mates and crew that make it really enjoyable.”

How do you take care of yourself when you’re on set for 14 hours?

“You have to really prioritize sleep. I tend to take naps during lunch and I bring my own food, because it’s very easy to just feed yourself out of emotional deprivation. You’re just so stressed, so used up. So the more I can plan, the happier and healthier I tend to be.”

What were your expectations of the response to the show?

“It’s funny because a lot of my cast mates and I were like, ‘This going to have a grassroots following. Very slowly people are going to discover it, and it’s going to be a certain group of people that really enjoy it.’”

People really love it:

“Yeah, it’s amazing. People stop me on the street and they’re like, ‘You look so much like that girl in that show’ and I’m like, ‘yeah, I get that all the time.’”

Is that your standard response?

“It is, because then it’s a fun conversation and not a weird celebrity thing. It’s more fun for me, I guess. [laughs]. ”

Let’s talk fashion. When you’re not working, how would you describe your sense of style?

“Unclear. [laughs].I think I’m still finding my style. I’m still fairly young. I’m over tight pants, though, that’s the newest evolution of my style. I’m really into a loose pant.”

Let’s pretend that you just got a big check in the mail and you’re going to go to Ferragamo and treat yourself to one thing. What are you leaving with?

“Probably shoes, because their shoes are incredible. There’s nothing like saying, ‘Oh, these are Ferragamo,’ and sticking your leg in the air.”

You’re on your way to a Ferragamo party. In general, are you the life of the party or are you in bed by nine?

“Oh I’m a grandma. I’m socially awkward and I have anxiety about talking to people. In those car rides to events, I’m terrified. But then once I’m there I decided to participate and lean in. I find if you can relax and meet really incredible people, it’s always a gift.”

The party is at Sant Ambroeus. Have you been there? “

I haven’t.”

It’s delicious and the food will be phenomenal, but I’m curious to know, when you first moved to New York, what was your go-to meal? What were you living off of?

“I lived in Queens and there was a halal food truck that is top-notch in the halal world. It’s not just one of the random ones, it was like top ten. It was on my walk from the subway to my apartment and that was always my go-to. That was before I was vegetarian and vegan, but I usually got some kind of falafel over rice. The rack of lamb kind freaks me out a little bit.”

What are your interests outside of acting?

“I’m interested in a lot of political missions, particularly with the environment, and I’m a big animal lover. I have a cat [named] Joe—I’d say she’s my number one hobby. I also do this thing where I try to learn something new every month, so I’ll play a little guitar or learn a little French. Right now I’m learning how to crochet.”

What are you working on professionally? Anything outside of You?

“I am, but I can’t quite say yet. There are lots of surprises to come, I’ll say that.”

Last question—what are you watching on TV right now?

“I watch The Great British Baking Show pretty constantly [laughs]. For me, being a part of TV, when I come home at the end of the day I want to watch something real. Not to say that that show has no contrived elements, I’m sure it does, but most of the time, it feels like you’re in someone’s grandma’s kitchen. Their emotions are real and I just love it.”

[cardhouseandthecage]

I actually am wondering about the Star recruitment process, Denizen-Star communication, and the interface between our reality and Faerie with regard to all this. Like if you or I was to get sucked into the Star process, what would it be like in terms of ordinary logistics? How would they first reach out to us? What if we tried something like getting other people involved who legit believed in all this but the Cardhouse really didn't want them involved? Apologies if this can't really be answered!

an EXCELLENT QUESTION, friend, and incidentally a subject of ongoing investigation on my part. THE subject of ongoing investigation. My whole life. Which is to say: I can’t give you a complete answer—I can’t even necessarily give you a correct answer—but you have absolutely come to the right place. You wont get any kind of answer anywhere else. Here’s what I’ve pieced together from my research, thus far:I. The first thing you need to know about Stars is that they don’t actually believe in fairies. Not Literally. Not necessarily. 

You are familiar, I assume, with the Moment of Magical Proof™? You’ll find it with most stories that begin in the mundane. Our protagonist might want to believe in magic, but they can’t—magic is fake and everyone knows it—so they’ll rationalize for as long as they can. Then something happens. Magic intrudes upon their lived experience in a way they can no longer deny. YER A WIZARD, HARRY. Magic is real, and will continue to be real for the duration of the narrative.

That moment never happens.

There is no first contact for a Star, no revelation, no paradigm shift: it’s only ever a slow fade. And that little voice of in the back of their heads, the one that knows none of this could ever be real? It never goes away. That’s important. It’s part of what splits them—and without a split there is no harvest.

The Cardmaster settled upon this business model for a reason. Certainly he could present the Cardhouse more literally, but he’d be working against dominant trends: most people don’t believe in fairies literally, and our beliefs govern the channels through which fairies can contact us. So if you don’t really believe that some fairy bitch could pup up in your window and approach you with the deal of a lifetime, they’re going to have a really difficult time making that happen.* It’s much more cost-effective to build on a pre-existing system of belief than to overturn it. 

II. But what’s all this nonsense about the power of belief, HQ? Are you really going to sit there behind your screen and tell me that you subscribe to Magical Thinking? Who exactly is funding this study???

AHAHAHAHAHA NO ONE, naturally, but also: no. No, of course not! I may not be funded but I take myself very seriously here: I’m not arguing that our beliefs can change reality directly. Antoine was absolutely right about the tree root: that’s a thing in the physical universe and it’s going to go on existing regardless of what we think about it—outside of what we think of it. Oxygen doesn’t care about my feelings! There’s a side of things won’t budge, no matter what I believe (I know this; I’ve tried). Even if I clapped my hands and dreamed with every fibre of my being, it wouldn’t wouldn’t make a fairy into something I could bring into a lab and prove.

But my belief would change something. It would change the Faerie-Reality interface. If I believed fairies were real, they’d be real to me. It would change how they exist in the extra-dimensional space in my head. And that space in my head—in all of our heads—that’s the dimension of things that connects up with Faerie. That’s what empties into Faerie, perpetually, without our volition or consent. I’m fooling myself if I think I’m in control of that space just because my thoughts effect it: I didn’t choose most of my beliefs any more than I chose my body. There’s a whole world of thought that I inherited, and correspondingly a whole landscape of Faerie that’s built up in connection to Reality over time. By this mechanism, then, our beliefs can alter reality: indirectly. Reality generates Faerie, but Faerie is incessantly fucking with us in return, and the ways in which it fucks with us influence the actions we take in Reality. III. Any agency behind such fuckery I term “a fairy.” 

Fairies “live” in the backworld (they’re made of the same stuff it is) and can manipulate the residue that accumulates there: they’re not real by any means, but they do exist. It is worth noting that fairies, by this definition, don’t give a damn whether we believe in them. This may first strike you as counter-intuitive: if they’re made of our thoughts, then surely our belief means a great deal to them? To which I answer: yes, it does. Absolutely. Just not in the way that you’d think. I’m guessing you’ve probably encountered some version theory of belief-dependancy and the Decline of the Mythical? It’s related to a lot of things (many of which are true, see: placebo effect), but generally it asserts that the vitality of imaginary beings has diminished in direct proportion to our diminishing “belief” in them, and consequently there has been a great falling off in the power of gods and fairies and the like as we have entered the modern era. My findings suggest the otherwise. I say we still believe in plenty of “unreal” things, and as strongly as ever we did. Even our science feeds into the Faerie: it’s made of our thought! We use science to describe reality, but it itself is not fully “real.” Besides which, it’s not as if fairies are limited to drawing upon our literal beliefs. We don’t generally think of fiction as real, and yet it shapes us. And a desire can be every bit as potent as a belief. Fairies don’t care whether we believe in them: all they require is that we want to. They’ll play our beliefs against our desires and catch us between them, bring us to our knees before the impossible; we’ll yield our sacrifice readily enough, god or no god.  All they require is that we dream. 

So no, I don’t think we’ve impoverished fairies at all by sorting fact from fiction as we have. I think we’ve blinded ourselves to their power, locked the door and thrown away the key only to have them catch it. I think we’ve given them everything. I think we’ve spoiled them.

IV. But I digress. You asked me about the logistics of Star recruitment and Denizen-Star communication. 

It starts, traditionally enough, with a fairy ring.

Not a literal ring, generally (that’s very retro), but the there are certain channels of interface—certain ‘meta-forums’—that the Cardhouse keeps open as traps for potential candidates. For a while now, the internet has been the best “place” to set up such a forum, so they frequently overlay or branch off from real online sites. But they could be anywhere. Any work of fiction can easily serve as a jumping off point (provided it’s fantastical enough), or else game of make-believe, or even a good old-fashioned glade or a shopping centre or an abandoned house. If you’re intrepid enough you might find your way to to one through pure whimsy: it’s only a matter of stumbling into the right headspace.

Unfortunately, there’s no clear indicator for when such a stumbling has transpired. The meta-forums interface so seamlessly with what we think of as plausible that we don’t recognise them when we see them and we can’t tell once we’re in.** You can’t necessarily tell when someone else is in one either. It just looks like preoccupation—an obliviousness to the “real world.” But it also looks perfectly realistic, especially from the standpoint of the Star. Because fiction exists, and games exist, and there are all kinds of things you can get obsessed with on the internet and none of them especially challenge the laws of physics. They way you engage with the meta-forum doesn’t look different from how you’d engage with any other imaginary thing. Generally, it starts out as a game or an RP or a kind of choose-your-own-adventure story through which you get to know the characters and the basic setup. That setup presents itself very differently depending on what you’re into, but you’re usually given to understand that the Cardhouse produces very special magical items, and that you can help the Cardmaster gather ingredients for these items by undertaking quests or solving puzzles or making certain offerings or blending the perfect tea or getting your two favourite denizens to make kiss or doing whatever it is you’re doing that is “playing the game”. One denizen in particular serves as your primary contact and guide. You might also be given to understand that Cardhouse products are all a part of the ongoing effort to Fight The Encroaching Darkness. It’s a very all-consuming obsession, and while you’re immersed in you often ‘forget’ it isn’t real, but never in a way that raises any suspicion. For the most part, you know it’s just a game. And for some people that’s all it ever is, and they move on.

If you are destined to become a Star, however, at some point the game will change. One day, your denizen approaches you in great distress: the threat of the Encroaching Darkness, they say, is much worse than they had previously let on. The game might end, as if it had never been! You may well never see us again, in which case… farewell in advance! It will be a very moving performance, and naturally you, the potential Star, will be deeply upset by this news. If you’re right for the job you will offer up your assistance on the spot, unprompted. You will say the magic words. Is there anything you can do to help?

…Funny You Should Ask.

And now the denizen will lay it out: there is, in fact, a way. You may not know this, but you happen to be a very special sort of person: a Star sleeps within you—a great power—but its light is not for the human world. If you were to promise to fight on our behalf, we could help you unlock that power on the other side. You would swear fealty to the Cardmaster, pledging your light to the cause and security of our House, and help us to beat back the darkness. But be warned! It is no task for the faint of heart. You would be asked to undertake missions in the depths of the Wild Lands, where evils reign free. You would be placed in grave danger. So yes, you really could save us, but we would never ask anyone to accept such a burden! If however you should choose to do so….well. You would be richly rewarded.

If it’s gotten to this point, the potential Star (feeling very heroic) almost always accepts.They are assigned to a team and presented with a “cage” to help concentrate their powers and serve as a holding space for any magical items they’re give in Faerie. The cage exists between realms and the Star can access it from either side. Generally, the more they use their powers as a Star, the more it fills up with light for them to draw upon. Doing certain things in the Mundane however can cause that light to diminish or spill out, so they learn to avoid doing those things. Yet insofar as they are human, the Star still regards this all as a kind of fantasy. Insofar as they’re a fairy, however, it is very real. How any given Star rationalizes the paradox will vary, but at no point does the human fully “believe” that what’s happening is real. So a fissure develops between the two selves, and the more and more the Star invests in their fae identity, the deeper it splits them.

And here is the difficult part—the part no one understands. People often ask me what a Star’s human self is doing when they are a fairy. Are they sleeping? Unconscious? Physically elsewhere? Mentally dead? Sitting behind a computer screen as in hypnosis? All of those, possibly. None of those, necessarily. The trouble is that there’s not a one-to-one correspondence between time spent in Faerie and time spent in Reality, so it never maps on perfectly. It’s very difficult to make it add up: I don’t have a working model for this part at all.

But I do know this. When a Star is harvested, they are harvested whole. No one notices them go, and there is no body to find. Everything that ought to have been real about them has been redirected to the other side. They make ghosts of themselves. They split off without a trace.

——

*Oh, you might say, well if it’s as easy as believing…—no. Believing is far from easy, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Not convinced? Then try! As an experiment: just try to alter your basic beliefs in what’s possible and what’s not. Tell yourself you might wake up in a flower tomorrow morning. It’s possible! Tell yourself the earth of flat (come on, really in vogue). Or tell yourself I’m right! Tell yourself believing makes any difference. COME ON JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF,,,YOU CAN DO IT!! Ha. Of course you can’t. 

**This may appear to stand in contrast to more traditional fairy-lore, but I think it’s actually very much in line (and it’s one of the many reason I’ve chosen to call these creatures fairies). Sure, in those stories, the human usually knows that they’ve crossed into some kind of Other Realm and accepts the fairies as real, but none of that especially shocks them. They’re not experiencing any major paradigm shift: either they’re in an altered state or this encounter still falls well within their understanding of “plausible.” But their conceptions of plausibility will only stretch so far: they don’t understand that time is passing differently in the other realm, that a very alien set of “rules” governs the very fabric of it. The shock only comes when the person tries to leave Faerie as they would leave a party at someone’s house, and finds that they can’t. And it’s the same with Stars. Our notions of plausible versus implausible have shifted a little, so the trick happens at a different level, but it’s the same trick. The human has passed into foreign territory, but they’re still processing it in mundane terms, and consequently they won’t pick up on the most “unrealistic” aspects of the encounter (if ever) until it’s too late.

[mzargentum]

I’m Still Here

In honor of my bestie babeh @insomniasix‘s birthday today, here’s a little Six and Muerlin adventure shenanigan.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY BEAUTIFUL BABEH LOVE! I know I give you mooshies out the moogle’s magical butthole, but the amount of happiness and pride for myself that you’ve given me over these few months of us even meeting has seriously been more than I’ve felt with most of my friends. You are my Six and I will never not drown you in mooshies and I will never stop lovin’ you. So let this be a reminder that you ARE the best, you DESERVE the best and to let NOTHING stand in your way.

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 1,612

Characters: Six Ulric and Muerlinian Zephyr (Arcana)

Who is Six Ulric?

Asked no one ever.

It was a name that meant many things.

It meant love to all that she held dear and sudden death to those she did not.

It brought hope to the kingdoms of Eos and the bad guy’s to their knees.

And it pretty much added a new depth to “oh, shit”.

To me, it was the name of my mentor, closest friend and the most badass glaive that ever served the fallen kingdom of Insomnia. 

Not to even mention the fact she’s a frickin’ Astral herself….well….sort of.

She knows my lightning obsessed father better than I do and I’M the actual wizard.

A wizard that rules over an entire kingdom…wonder whose bright idea that was. If anything, I should probably be in prison…or worse. I mean, that’s really what everyone wanted from the get go.

Everyone, but Six.

Even though it took some doing, I will admit I am a handful, she’s stuck by my side through all the pain, all the tears, all the dumbass mistakes I’ve made over the years and I knew no matter what, she’d stick by me through the rest.

…Although…this time, she might actually kill me.

“Muerlin, I’m gonna kill you!” A furious huff sliced through the wind as we raced through the puddled surface of the Alstor Slough, armed Imperial Soldiers hot on our tail.

Yep, there it was.

Not like she didn’t have a reason to be pissed. I mean, I did kind of steal a really valuable item from the Nif’s treasury in broad daylight, but we wouldn’t have gotten caught if those stupid giant robot things hadn’t exploded.

….which, was actually also my fault.

“By Shiva’s frozen ass, Muerlin! Just give them the fuckin’ box!” Six was at her wits end. 

We were severely outnumbered and there was barely any way to escape. They sent ship after ship filled to the brim with soldiers to retrieve this item from us and probably kill us, but the contents of this silver crate were worth far too much to allow those bastards to get their grubby mitts on them again.

“We can’t! It’s too important!” I nervously shouted. “Besides, it’s probably the only reason why they’re not shooting!”

“That doesn’t mean they won’t risk it!” She had a point. Obviously, they were worried about damaging it, but at some point, they were going to take their chances with the sniper.

Lucky for me, I did have one trick up my sleeve. “We’ll make it! Just trust me!” I shouted as we approached the lake occupied by multiple hungry catoblepas.

As we got closer to the muddy waters, I heard an exhausted “oh, crap” which let me know that the glaive had caught onto my plan and although I know she wasn’t loving the idea of potentially get trampled to death by giant catoblepas hooves, it was our only clear shot of shaking the imperial army off our hinds.

“You know they aren’t going to wait until we’re close enough to start shooting, right?!”

“Heh, wouldn’t that be great?!”

“We have to time it just right!” Six zeroed in on the deepest part of the lake while I concentrated on the Nif’s guns waiting for that one subtle…

*click*

“NOW!”

Before I knew it, my mouth had completely filled with water. The sudden shock nearly caused me to let go of the box, but a monstrous roar that pierced my ears brought me back to reality as I felt a firm tug of my arm yank me back to the surface.

“Bloody hell…”, I panted as I gasped for air, Six tugging against my arm.

“Come on”. She helped me up before we darted toward the trees disappearing from detection, not once looking back to the chaos we left behind.

“We need to get the hell outta here, ASAP”, Six panted as we finally stopped to catch our breath.

She was right. The soldiers would be tied up with the catoblepas for a while, but not long enough for us to relax so an escape was definitely in order.

“Yeah, but where? The first place they’d look is the Coernix Station”.

“The Hunter HQ is too far without a ride and they’d see us from above”. It was clear how irritated she was and for good reason. We were pretty much fucked. Until…

“I know!” A sudden fire flew up my butt which kept me from getting discouraged at the super pissed off death stare I was getting from my assassin best friend. “This way, hurry”.

“This better be good”, I heard her snarl as we took off in a new direction.

Although her irritation was still obvious, she couldn’t possibly resist that pleasant “ya’ll still keepin’ on keepin’ on?” as we finally reacted out destination.

“Hey, Wiz, long time no see”. The old chocobo farmer could easily detect the glaive’s aggravation as she peeled her drenched raven locks from her face.

“Looks like you two’ve had a long day”.

“Heh-heh, youuu could say that”, I chuckled with my failed attempt to not look terrified by my best friend’s stare piercing into my cheek like her bloodstained katana. “Mind if we crash here for a bit?”

“Oh, sure. The caravan is free. Help yourself”.

Finally, we could relax.

After a day of crazy havoc and looking death in the face via enemy imprisonment, torture, near failed escape, drowning and a catoblepas stampede, I put the treasured box down onto the table and plopped face first onto the couch.

A sudden growl caught my attention causing me to turn toward my still fuming friend.

“Um…aren’t we forgetting something?”

“Well, Wiz IS a wiz in the kitchen, Six. I’m sure he’ll feed us”.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

Well, you can’t blame a girl for tryin’.

“What is so godsdamn important about this box that we had to nearly become Imperial puppets for it and why were the Nif’s so hard on getting it back?!”

“Is there some mystical artifact that would bring Reggie back to life to rebuild Insomnia?”

“A device that’ll destroy their entire Magitek production?”

“EMPEROR ALDERCAPT’S BALLS?!”

Damn, she was more pissed than I thought. Not gonna lie, my bladder was about to go oh, shit, but I couldn’t help, but feel a little proud of myself…

“…what’re you smiling about?”, Six asked with a suspicious raised eyebrow, her nose scrunched.

“Well, you could open it and see”.

The rage that previously consumed my friend suddenly washed over and was replaced with apprehension as she gazed toward the mystery box. I noticed a slight trembling of her hands as she approached it.

On one end, my excitement skyrocketed.

On the other, I was internally giggling at the fact that Six Ulric actually looked nervous about opening a box, but as her lightly sweat covered fingers lifted the lid, her silver iris’ shimmered with a collection of warm tears as she gazed in bewilderment, immediately recognizing the two curved daggers that were hidden inside.

“A…are these…”, the tearful woman stuttered.

“Yeah”.

“…Nyx”.

“After the fall, the Nif’s did their sweep. There was no concrete record of a body, but…they managed to scrounge these up”.

I could sense the newfound rage and hurt began to boil in Six’s gut. “They had these…all this time”.

“Yeah, but now they’re where they belong”.

As she continued to gaze at her son’s beloved daggers, she shook her head suddenly and I somehow fought the urge to roll my eyes at her adorable motherly inability to accept a gift with her anticipated “Muerlin…you didn’t have to do this”.

“Yeah, I did”, I firmly stated. My tone must’ve hardened by the stunned look she gave me, but enough was enough. Momma Six needed to know the truth.

“Do you realize that without you, I would be in a Tenebraen graveyard, or a Niflheim prison cell or shackled in the charming Imperial Chancellor’s pleasure chamber, blindfolded and gagged?!”

Six shuddered at the thought of that last one.

“I’ve put you through so much hell so many times…but you’ve stood by me through all of it. I don’t deserve to be Queen, I don’t deserve this power, I don’t deserve to call someone as amazing as you my best friend”.

The overall shock that rested upon my friend’s face made me blush a little. It wasn’t like me to get all deep like that, but it needed to come out.

“Besides…I made him a promise to remind you of something”.

“..of what?”

I nodded toward the silver blades. “Run a fire over them and find out”.

Raising her palm, Six summoned a small flame within the center gliding it over the surface of the dagger revealing a hidden engraving. Warm sparkling tears flowed down her reddened cheeks as she read.

Mom…I finally had my moment to be real. Got to touch things I didn’t feel.

I held on and…now I feel I belong.

You used to say that though the world wanted me to change, they were the ones that would stay the same.

Now…I know you can’t see me…

…but I’m still here.

Six clutched her heart, tears streaming like silver waterfalls down her face as she sat down next to me, daggers in hand. Still absolutely speechless. “Y’know…”, she lightly chuckled, “you could’ve gotten me anything…a necklace…some new boots…a puppy…and I would’ve loved it”.

“I know”.

“So…why this?”

“You’ve carried my world for so long…the least I could do was carry yours in a box for a few hours”, I joked trying to lighten the mood, which Six responded to with a hearty giggle.

“Besides…every mother deserves to be with her son for her birthday”.

Tagging: @ravagekamisama @aquathemermaidstripper @insomniasix @digitalkanvas @a-new-recipehhh @prettyprompto

If you would like to be added or removed from the tag list, let me know. c:

[lillyblogs]

[Insinuation 2.7]

(Sorry about posting these out of chronological order; I didn't have a Tumblr blog yet when I first posted this one. Also, consider my liveblogs of 1.1 -> 2.6 lost to the ether.) [Insinuation 2.7] Brian and Alec were good looking guys, in very different ways. Lisa was, on the sliding scale between plain and pretty, more pretty than not. So Taylor admits to checking all of them out and also to finding them all attractive. Undersider harem when? Bug Please don't stick please don't stick I still want her name to be something cool like Myriad, but there's bound to be something of a joke to it. Lisa, though, put one of her arms around my shoulders and gave me a one-armed squeeze of a hug. She was a little older than I was, so she was just tall enough to be at the perfect height to do it. What caught me off guard was how nice the gesture felt. Taylor is attracted to girls theory: Confirmed?????? Actually, I get the impression that Lisa is supposed to be this but it's not quite coming across right and makes it seem like she has a thing for Taylor. We passed a twenty-something artist and his girlfriend, sitting on the sidewalk with paintings propped up around them. The girl waved at Lisa as we walked by, and Lisa waved back. Guessing she's an important character, a cape probably, but not one of the Undersiders. Circus? Spitfire? IDK I know too few names at this point. Alternatively, that was Uber and Leet. If that's the case, Leet was probably the girl and Uber the artist. If Tattletale's really a hacker, it'd make sense for her to be friends with someone named Leet. I supposed they might have a TiVo, though I’d never seen one. TiVo?????? Seriously, though, the Undersiders have a pretty fucking sweet loft. Also, Alec's an artist apparently. Knowing young fiction, this will either be the only thing he talks about ever or he'll never mention it again. ```“I’m jealous,” I admitted, meaning it.

“Dork,” Alec said, “What are you jealous for?”

“I meant it’s cool,” I protested, a touch defensively.

Lisa spoke before Alec could reply, “I think what Alec means is that this is your place now too. This is the team’s space, and you’re a member of the team, now.”How all great friendships start.“Last time he went up against Shadow Stalker, he came back here and bled all over a white couch,” Lisa groused, “nine hundred dollar couch and we had to replace it.”

“Fucking Shadow Stalker,” Alec commiserated.OOOH! Shadow Stalker sounds like they might be a rival villain. (Part of Faultline's group, maybe? Or perhaps the Empire, though the Undersiders don't seem to have major issues with them yet.) Can't wait to see them.Brian came back from the other end of the loft, raising his voice to be heard as he approached, “Rache’s not here, and neither are her dogs. She must be walking them or working. Dammit. I get stressed when she’s out.” He approached the couches and saw Alec sprawled on the one.OK now I'm 99% percent sure Brian and this Rachel girl are a couple, or he wants them to be. Or alternatively, she really is a mass-murderer with a dog fetish and that's why he's worried. Either way, isn't her identity public? If so, _why_ does she walk her own dogs, instead of having the other Undersiders do it for her? Indication of obsession? Possessiveness? Or maybe they have someone who can disguise people; Regent, maybe? Not sure if it would fit with his name, though. Regent, to me, suggests he might be part of some sort of Parahuman lineage (not sure how far back it could possibly go, since didn't Scion only appear in the 80s?) and that his power is _really fucking good_. He's their heavy hitter, the one who packs the most punches. Maybe he's a mini-Superman, complete with the "powers as the plot demands".“We’ll get you one,” he said, like it wasn’t even a concern. It probably wasn’t. “We generally haul in anywhere from ten grand to thirty-five grand for a job. That gets divided four ways… five ways now that you’re on the team.”Sounds like Taylor will be rich very quickly; she'll probably be against spending the money at first but give in after a little. She is the Queen Of Slippery Slopes, after all. In fact, I suspect the Undersiders are aware of that, b/c of Tattletale and are actively baiting her into falling all the way down and becoming a villain. However, they probably won't like the new, unrestricted Taylor Hebert.“I do know everything,” Lisa said, “It’s my power.”Still thinking superpowered hacker, possibly with some sort of tinkery flavor to it, with a probable focus on spying on and tracking people.“What?” I said, interrupting Brian. My heartbeat quickened, though I hadn’t exactly been relaxed to begin with, “You’re omniscient?”

Lisa laughed, “No, no. I do know things though. My power tells me stuff.”

Swallowing hard, hoping I wasn’t drawing attention by doing so, I asked, “Like?” Like why I was joining their team?

Lisa sat forward and put her elbows on her knees, “Like how I knew you were at the library when I sent me the messages. If I felt like it, and if I had the know how, I’m sure I could have figured it out by breaking into the website database and digging through the logs to find the address you connected from, but my power just let me skip that step like that.” She snapped her fingers.Damn it. I was wrong, wasn't I? But honestly that's a _horrifying_ power; she just _knows_ things she shouldn't. Like "everything about everyone ever", apparently. Perhaps it's some sort of weird form of clairvoyance; her power sees everything going on at once, but she can focus it on a specific person/area and it'll relay whatever it finds to her for her to make sense of with her deductive skills. Like having an omnipresent, invisible and intangible drone. Heck, maybe she's lying and she's just a Tinker with a specialty in surveillance and cloaking; would certainly explain how Rachel's able to regularly go outside, seemingly.Not giving him a chance to reply, she turned to me and explained, “My power fills in the gaps in my knowledge. I generally need some info to start from, but I can use details my power feeds me to figure out more stuff, and it all sort of compounds itself, giving me a steady flow of info.”Honestly I'm not entirely sure what she means by this, but it definitely seems like _every single one_ of my guesses as to her power was wrong.Lisa’s smile widened, “I’ll admit I cheated there. Figuring out passwords is pretty easy with my power. I dig through the PHQ’s digital paperwork and enjoy a little reality TV by way of their surveillance cameras when I’m bored. It’s useful because I’m not only getting the dirt from what I see, hear and read, but my power fills in the details on stuff like changes in their routine and the team politics.”At least I was right about her tendency to spy on people. And the PHQ's the _Protectorate_ ENE HQ, right? So essentially where the heroes work, and possibly live. Makes sense that Taylor wouldn't want to join the Wards if it's actually like that; she rather seems to enjoy having _something_ of a normal life and the ability to just go home and get away from this, to just be her father's daughter for a while. (Angsty plot twist: He's actually her stepdad, in addition to being a cape (maybe Armsmaster if he isn't a villain; tinkers seem sufficiently bullshit for that to work, and he was relatively nice to Taylor, if a bit businesslike-- _just like her father_.) and she learns both of these secrets at an inopportune time (perhaps after her first mission with the Undersiders?) and ends up leaving him and her civilian ID behind and moving in with the Undersiders full-time.)she grinned her vulpine smileNo way this isn't a fandom meme. Honestly, this just feels like such a memetic phrase and Wildbow _just keeps using it_. There are other ways to call someone sly and mischevious that don't involve how foxlike their smile is. Still thinking she's going to end up with Taylor, eventually and probably only temporarily. Unless she's also a double-agent. Would explain why she hasn't been the nicest to Taylor (she went out of her way to mess with her...), despite seemingly wanting her to join the team and seemingly caring about her. Grue, Alec and Rachel probably aren't going to double-cross the team, however. They seem like they're actually villains, albeit probably sympathetic ones. I can't wait to hear how despite seeming to only be in it for the money, they all have tragic backstories. Actually, perhaps having a tragic backstory is part of gaining powers; Taylor's got a lot of trauma and the Danny interlude did suggest that things turned from idyllic to tragic rather fast. And logically speaking, it makes sense that the villains would all have a lot of mental trauma; they're the people who society has chewed up and spat right out. Calling it right now that every Undersider is some kind of minority or other oppressed group: Brian: Black, possibly not straight. Possibly a single (adoptive?) parent? He seems close to the other Undersiders, so it doesn't seem like he'd live away from them by choice. If he's got a kid who he's desperately trying to keep away from this, things suddenly make sense. Or maybe a little sister/brother (I'm leaning towards sister), if he's too young to even be adopting children? Either way, he's definitely doing this for someone else's sake. If said person is old enough (i.e. 13+; I don't think the Undersiders would employ such a small child), they'll probably join the Undersiders after a few arcs of melodrama. Or if they're not, they'll do it (complete with the melodrama) after they grow up. Which Wildbow may only do so they can be paired with whichever Undersider doesn't get paired up, since I'm 100% sure they're going to end up a set of three couples, instead of a proper team of five. Bonus points if this hypothetical sister thinks Brian's a hero before learning the considerably more unsavory truth. Alec: He's definitely either gay or bi. There is no way that boy is straight. Also, he's got a French name, which is a pretty good sign he's going to be a Flamboyant Gay, especially if he picked it for himself. Lisa: A woman, also gay (probably). Possibly asexual, maybe? (She's definitely not aromantic, though; there needs to be at least something to use for shipping bait and "will-they-or-won't-they" tension, as Worm is basically YA.) Rachel: Maybe she's transgender? I'm guessing here. Didn't Taylor describe her as unladylike in appearance or something like that? Also possibly a butch lesbian* / gender non-conforming in some other way. *If she's a lesbian, Tattletale isn't one. It's a rule of how these things work. Though in that case, Tattletale wouldn't be a proper token character and would instead exist as a plot device / excuse for exposition and probably only exists to avert the Smurfette principle.They didn’t get a chance to tell me. I heard barking from downstairs. A matter of heartbeats later I was standing, three paces from the couch. Three snarling dogs had me backed against the wall, drool flying from their mouths as their teeth gnashed and snapped for my hands and face.``` Rachel can't control her dogs = confirmed? Or maybe she's a bit more unhinged than I was thinking, or both? I'm currently thinking that she's actually the sweetest and most innocent of the Undersiders, appearances be damned (it also makes her alias of "Bitch" rather ironic), but I could be extremely wrong. Since she works with dogs, she also probably has some skill as a vet, and probably acts as the Undersiders' medic as well.

I'm also starting to think that the Undersiders are using their actual names, and that they really do trust Taylor. Unless they're all lying about their names to each other as well as to Taylor, though they seem too much like fire-forged friends for that.

[nikigdoesthings]

Favorite Moments of 2019

Felix Felicis Tattoo

In January I finally did something I had been wanting to do since high school; I got a Harry Potter tattoo! This was my second tattoo and I decided on a bottle of Felix Felicis, also known as liquid luck. A good friend of Tim’s, who has done most of his work, did the piece for me. I expected this to be more painful than my first tattoo (which is on my thigh) but it was surprisingly easy. I’m happy with how it turned out, and am planning on getting more Harry Potter themed work. 

My New Vlog

Before our Honeymoon in February, I decided to try my hand at vlogging. I was spending a lot of time watching theme park vlogs on YouTube and my husband suggested I make some of my own. Anyone that knows me is familiar with my obsession with roller coasters and theme parks. We had full intentions of making a video at Universal Studios Orlando but we didn’t have the right equipment. We did a few home vlogs about our Universal trip after we returned. I found it difficult to be at a park like Cedar Point and not be riding non-stop. So we didn’t vlog as much as I had hoped or anticipated, but we made a few Cedar Point vlogs that I am proud of. Here is one of my favorites. I have since gotten a GoPro and I think that will make vlogging in the parks a lot easier for me. So look for more in 2020.

Cedar Point in 2019

2019 was the most trips to Cedar Point I had ever made in one season. Tim got us Platinum passes which enabled us to go as many times as we wanted. We try to go on Fridays because it is the only week day I don’t work, and crowds are usually lower in attendance. We did some vlogging and the pass came in handy because on the days we didn’t ride as much and vlogged, it didn’t feel like we were wasting money. We rode Steel Vengeance as much as we could, and are obsessed. There is nothing else like it that I’ve ever ridden! We also had a season FunPix pass, and we loved all the ride photos. 

Clean Beauty Switch

I made the decision last year that I was going to start using green beauty products, and eliminate products with toxic ingredients. If you are careful with what you put into your body, why wouldn’t you be careful with what you put on it? I started realizing more and more green beauty companies appearing on my Instagram feed. I had an issue with my skin last year that spanned six months. After that, it was even more important to know what I was putting on my face and body. I discovered the company W3ll People and began using their products. They even ended up asking me if I would complete a survey, and after I received a $100 gift card. They are my favorite clean beauty makeup brand and I really love their products. My favorite products are the Bio Base Baked Foundation, and I also enjoy the Optimist Lipstick in the Choose Love color.

New Garden Boxes

We had ambitious plans for our garden in 2019. Tim built new planter boxes closer to our house. It was a cold Spring so things started out slow but when it started to get warmer, the garden grew like crazy! We planted way more than we needed and put the plants too close together. Next year we will plot the garden differently. We were successful at our first attempt to can pickles. I was nervous that they wouldn’t turn out, but they were really tasty! We had been busy during the summer riding coasters on the weekends so a lot of the cucumbers weren’t harvested properly. It was a good lesson on how we can improve things next season. 

One Year Anniversary in Paducah

Paducah is a town in western Kentucky that is very special to us. Tim and I had a beautiful, intimate wedding there in October, 2018. We planned to make a trip back to celebrate our one year anniversary. We stayed at an adorable Airbnb downtown which was in the perfect location because we could walk to most of our favorite places. We met up with some of our friends, did a haunted ghost tour, ate a delicious replica of our wedding cake, made an emotional visit to our wedding venue, and of course ate at Just Hamburgers! I can’t describe how happy this town makes me, and every time we leave I can’t wait to come back. Our first year of marriage has been amazing, and I love him more every day.  I hope Tim and I will continue to make yearly visits and, maybe someday even make Paducah our home.

First Trip to Dollywood

Dollywood has been on my theme park bucket list for a long time, and I finally got to visit in October. We had a wonderful experience, and the park exceeded my expectations. It was a gloomy Monday and I was very concerned the rain would ruin the experience. All my worrying was in vain. Everything ran perfectly all day, and ride wait times were 5 minutes or less. My top priorities were riding Lightning Rod, and eating cinnamon bread from The Grist Mill. A back row ride on Lightning Rod had things off to a rough start (literally) but after moving to the front row,  the ride experience was much smoother. It’s a short, but intense ride that took me by surprise. The cinnamon bread was as good as I had imagined. I will dream about that until I have it again!  I was impressed by the theming on all the rides, the staff was very friendly, and the park was clean. I even enjoyed checking out things that were not roller coasters like touring Dolly’s bus and the Chasing Rainbows Museum.  We had fun with our photo pass, and took as many pictures as we could! 

Rucking

Before I met my husband, I had no idea what rucking was. He taught me the basics and this last year, we spent a lot of time rucking. Rucking is walking with a weighted backpack, and you can do it anywhere! It’s a great cardiovascular activity but also helps build strength and posture.  When he went to GORUCK HQ to shoot an event called Selection, he brought me back my very own ruck and weight plate. He got me a GORUCK Echo in my favorite color, Java. Soon after, I started rucking with my 20 lb plate in my ruck. It’s an activity that is really fun for Tim and I to do together. We can spend quality time and also be active and healthy. I signed up for a monthly rucking challenge in November and earned my first patch. The pledge was to ruck 10 miles and I did that plus many more. This year I want to challenge myself more and try an event with Tim. 

Rucking My First 10k

In November, one of the offices I work for decided to do a 10k. My boss is a competitive runner and triathlete, but the rest of the staff decided to walk. I’ve walked a few 5k’s before but never a 10k. To add an extra challenge since I had been rucking, I told myself I would carry my ruck with weight (20+ lbs). Thankfully, there wasn’t any snow on the ground yet, but it was chilly! This was also the first time doing this type of distance with weight and not having Tim with me. It was a challenge, and at times very discouraging. I was the only one rucking and everyone else was walking or running so I felt like I was dead last. Maybe I was dead last, but I finished. I look forward to taking on new challenges in 2020. 

Universal Orlando Honeymoon

It’s no secret that Tim and I are huge Harry Potter fans.  When we were deciding on where to honeymoon, we originally had plans to visit Scotland. When it came down to it, we decided to go to a place we were familiar with and  where we knew we would have fun. We chose to spend a week at Universal Studios Orlando, Florida!  It was a dream to spend a week here! An exhausting dream come true. The staff made us feel so special and everyone congratulated us on our marriage multiple times a day (thanks to our buttons!). Staying on-site is perfect! Loews Royal Pacific is a beautiful hotel, and it’s very convenient to the parks and Citywalk. February is off season but with the Unlimited Express Pass we walked on every ride. It was sunny and upper 70’s every day! Perfect weather for me and comfortable for Tim. We started out our mornings immersed in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and enjoyed bouncing back and forth from Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios all day long. We can’t wait to make  a trip back in 2020, so we can ride Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure!

[trendingnewsb]

7 Super Unhealthy Pumpkin Spice Flavored Foods You Need To Steer Clear Of This Fall

Any mention of PSL season makes me roll my eyes and continue to order my Venti cold brew. As much as I like the taste of pumpkin (kinda?) I don’t really feel the need to give into the whole “pumpkin spice flavored everything” bullshit. Then again, there are some days where we just want to taste some of the new basic shit on the market that’s being obnoxiously advertised in our faces. Like, if an ad for Pumpkin Spice Oreos pops up on Instagram one more time, I might just have to buy a box. Sue me. Pumpkin spice products are all pretty shitty for you, but in case you’re curious about what’s actually in them, here’s an overview of some of the worst pumpkin spice foods out there.

1. Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte

The Starbucks PSL has gotten more fame in the past few years than the whole Kardashian family combined, and it’s just as stupid, honestly. Everyone knows flavored lattes are loaded with sugar and artificial flavorings, so why must we even investigate this drink? I mean, feel free to order it once or twice just to be a functioning member of society, but if you’re gagging from the PSL taste by Halloween, you’ve probably gone too far. Like, any drink with its own Twitter account just needs to be put in its place. Even Taylor Swift is over how basic she used to be. Maybe we should reconsider the obsession here.

2. Chobani Pumpkin Spice Blended Greek Yogurt

Out of this whole list, this product is probably your safest bet if you desperately need your basic white girl pumpkin spice fix. Everyone feels healthy while eating a Chobani Greek yogurt, and no one even feels the need to look at the label because well, it’s Greek yogurt for god’s sake. While the pumpkin spice flavor isn’t horrible for you (even if it sounds like it tastes horrible), each serving has 12 grams of sugar, which is just kinda stupid for a yogurt. Plus, the ingredients seem kinda sketchy: evaporated cane sugar, fruit pectin, juice concentrate? Like, let’s just say this isn’t a homemade pumpkin pie.

3. Angie’s Boom Chicka Pop Holidrizzle Pumpkin Spice Kettle Corn

Popcorn is one of those snacks that has the potential to be SO healthy for you, but then companies go ahead and drizzle shit all over it, and just like that, you’re shoveling handfuls of sugar into your mouth. Just for reference, there are about 30 calories in a cup of popped popcorn without anything on it, and there are over 100 calories per cup in these. While 100 calories may not seem like a lot, you’ve probably never eaten one cup of popcorn before. It’s basically one small handful. This pumpkin spice popcorn is not gonna kill you, but let’s not pretend this is the popcorn your nutritionist had in mind when she suggested it as a healthy snack.

4. Starbucks Bottled Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino

The bottled Starbucks brand frappuccinos that you see at the Target checkout line are even worse than the real deal. I mean, one tiny bottle has 46 grams of sugar and 300 calories. If you’re grabbing one of these for breakfast in place of what could be a zero-cal beverage with the same exact caffeine content (hi, coffee), please reconsider your priorities. You could literally be eating two Krispy Kreme donuts with the same nutrition content. Just something to consider.

5. Quaker Pumpkin Spice Instant Oatmeal

This product is advertised as “naturally and artificially flavored,” which should probably just be tattooed on our foreheads at this point. Any oatmeal that claims to taste like a slice of pumpkin pie is probably not the freshest, healthiest breakfast for you, but then again it’s not terrible. Each packet has 160 calories and 10 grams of sugar, which isn’t the worst, but then again it’s a bowl of oatmeal. The ingredients are also pretty similar to the Maple Brown Sugar and Apple Cinnamon flavors, which just makes us question how much of this recipe is actually natural and how much is artificial. There’s no chance it’s a 50/50 split.

6. Dunkin Donuts Pumpkin Spice Muffin

I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that Dunkin Donuts muffins all clock in at around 500 calories, and the pumpkin spice muffin doesn’t seem to be any better or worse for you. For one entire muffin, you’re consuming 77 grams of carbs and over 40 grams of sugar, basically feeding your body a bucket of artificial shit, heavy flour, and maybe the tiniest bit of pumpkin. I guess you can split this with a friend and get away with it if you need a muffin that badly? I’d just avoid it, though. There’s literally nothing good in here, aside from the two grams of fiber in the whole thing.

7. Kashi Pumpkin Spice Flax Granola Bars

I’ve never tried these bars personally, but the nutrition info is actually not that bad considering what it’s going up against here. I mean, I guess you’d expect anything with the words “flax” and “granola” in it to be somewhat healthy, and this definitely passes the test. Each bar is only about 80 calories, with only 5 grams of sugar, and plus there’s some protein and fiber thrown in there. There’s a ton of ingredients that you’d need a biology degree to understand, but overall this isn’t that bad for you if you desperately need some pumpkin spice in your life. But then again it’s a granola bar, so like how much enjoyment are you possibly getting from this thing? 

 Read more: http://ift.tt/2xDkSTT

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2x3iogD via Viral News HQ