#feels like just last year bro stop
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the thing with ridin’ is that it gave me everything. but at the same time, it gave me nothing.
#ridin’ was (and i’m so sorry for this) probably their weakest title track#and the entire cb just brings back war flashbacks#although#the rest of the album was absolutely flawless#quiet down ??? smash. love again ??? smash. puzzle piece ??? smash. 7 days ?????? SMASHHH#7 days is the reason i’m still alive it’s true#it’s that one song where i’m suddenly a native speaker#saved my 2020 fr 💪😞#3 YEARS AGO ?!$?%?$^ INSANE#feels like just last year bro stop#what makes it worse that it wasn’t even hot sauce last year but glimo LIKE BRO TIME IS A LIE#me and the word bro against the rest of the world fr
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someone pulling me closer by my clothing makes me want to scream for some reason but like not in a hot way. maybe it’s the neurospiciness but i just fucking hate that. like i’d rather they grab me by my body or something. the feeling of being detached from my clothes, being pulled but they’re also pulling me?? hate that. it gives me such god damn ick i can’t stand it. you can pull me closer with parts of my body though, that’s sexy
#like for ZERO reason it just kills my mood#i’m the type of girl that is 95% of the time ready to fuck and one way you can access that 5% of turning me off is by doing that#i just don’t understand WHY i’m like thatttt#it just FEELS wrong like stop stop stop DO NOT DO THAT#and because i can’t see rational reason for it- i’m sure it’s a strange mental thing#the last time someone did that was like a year or two ago but tbh it made me so uncomfortable. like— WILDLY uncomfortable#i like when someone grabs ME though. thats hot. just don’t pull on my skin coverings bro#feel free to tear my clothes off but don’t like— lead me around or try to pull me by them#fucking makes me so unnecessarily turned off and i don’t like being turned off by someone that two seconds ago i was prepared to fuck#it’s the bipolar probably
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God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????
#have u considered not constantly comparing me to ur abusive husband who hit u??????#since i was like 8 its really fucking weird#like who in their right mind tells their child theyre naturally destructive just like their father and then says ohhhhh but i didnt mean it#are u fucking insane#doesnt help that i look like him too everyone tells me that#and now she acts like me raising my voice once means she needs to walk on eggshells around me wtf#what about how u treated me from ages 13-16#freak#i cant believe this shes treating me like im some scary stranger as if shes not the one with full financial control and that im this horribl#person go kill yourself omgjdjsjsjwjwwhwhhw#fuck u#last year was the worst year of my life and that was wholy bc of u you showed me what place i really have in this family and that it was not#hing. how is sveryrone so ready to throw me away??#yet everyone else gets to say shes sooo proetctive and loving fuck off you wouldnt even tell them youre treating me badly diedie diediediedi#i want to cut so bad bro#but i promised myself i wont so#i mean i dont even have any way of gettibg blades so whatver#just remembered her reaction to me cutting#nothing. yeah absolutely no reaction. i thought the worat thing that could happen was her gettjbg mad at me again but no#i realised there was somwthing worse. she just straight up doesnt care#useless mother#im fine w u treating me like shit ive accepeted it that i have no place in anyone's life unlesss i hive into this but at least#at least stop trying to confront me like this#just let me rot in peace#i really dont want to do this anymore#any time now she'll ask me if i was pretending to cry so i wpuldnt have to go out w her now#as if that isnt insulting#and then she'll say i wasnt trying to be rude!!! as if she hasnt always treated me like none of my feelings r real. i only ever overeact. ok
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shout out to all of the artists who just dont really have ocs or blorbos. literally what do we even draw most of the time.
#ughh#bro i just felt shakey and sick because i contemplated drawing#its the same feeling i had when i did maths in school#i feel bad because i should be good at this i should draw everyday and i should be constantly improving#and while im not really improving my art at home i am certainly improving technically for work#so weirdly enough although ive done the least amount of art in the last year or two that i have ever my improvement has#has been very oddly massive.#but ive also stopped improving in certain areas and god knows my rendering hasnt improved#but i also... hate rendering a lot#so :/#well no. not completely#anyway whenever im like 'i should draw' the only things that i can draw#are either from reference or its just my own sona in many different styles that i cant decide on#ugh
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It’s 7:30 in the morning and I’m exhausted but I don’t know if I’ll be able to fall asleep again any time soon….
It’s like I was *just* starting to heal from having my heart and trust shattered 3 years ago, and now it’s happening all again, only this time I don’t have the church to go to for comfort/prayer/encouragement. And instead of a friendship I had for 2-3 years, it’s a church I’ve been going to for TWENTY TWO YEARS
I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone, this can’t actually be happening, right?
(I’m not okay, I keep crying and I just want to wake up from this nightmare)
#I don’t even know what to tag this as I just can’t#I was literally just telling my counselor that I feel like I’ve never had the ‘years of plenty’#only the suffering and trials…and now this happens to seem to confirm that#and it doesn’t help that I was already having trouble trusting the leader after last year#and now it’s like a big ‘I told you’ from my brain which isn’t gonna help me trust anyone in the future#I was already having a hard time taking chances and trying to trust again ans NOW THIS#I know I should at least try to sleep again I just…I don’t even know anymore#I’m not even gonna tag this as any normal stuff tbh#how about just#aceo get her heart broken again#not to mention I’m terrified I’m going to fallback into the numb empty depression pit I only just kind of got out of#and faith? bro I understand how people left the church or faith cause it is HARD to differentiate between the church and God#I’m still trying to pray and stuff I just feel so empty and I can’t do this again#it doesn’t help that the church claimed that they felt ‘lead’ to this crappy situation whatever THAT means#I only heard it second hand tbh…I just…can this stop please? can this all just be a horrible dream that I wake up from? please
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bro wtf is with this guy i swear when will he get the hint that i no longer am and do not want to be friends with his transphobic-in-the-weirdest-way ahh
#he makes me so uncomfortable???#like i ghosted him for 2 months and then when i had my competition he messages me telling me that he went on the site to look at my results?#???? and proceeded to give me unsolicited consolation#um firstly wtf are you even looking at my results for thats weird af and secondly i wasn't even upset + i don't want your pity + wtf???#and i replied really dryly but then he started talking about some project he was working on as if i didn't literally greytick him for 2 mths#and now he just sent me a message again omg stop please. i get the ick thinking about him#okay and there was that time i was in a really depressive episode last year and i wasn't talking to him and on his discord bio it said like#you know ur the worst when a suicidal person wont talk to u or sum shit like that#like what the hell? am i just overreacting or is that the weirdest shit you could say#like are you trying to get me to feel even worse cuz that doesn't exactly make me want to reach out#like omfg how do you even make something like this about you. literally how#also he kept fetishising trans people in his fanart???? like what the hell it was so disturbing#anyway now that I think about it i was friends with him for about 6 months and it's also been 6 months since then and i am completely fine#ugh anyway#we were kinda close so i got him to make a tumblr#to my moot who might follow him his name starts with r lol#and i swear he was vagueposting about me last month#and like. it's kinda creepy.#dude i am literally the plainest person around please why are you so obsessed with me i bet you can't name anything about me you liked that#doesn't include how i gave you the attention you wanted#anyway i don't know how he hasn't gotten the hint when bro he knows i literally avoid all eye contact and pairwork and messages from him#like do you need me to tell it to your face or what#rant#sorry i feel so mean writing this help
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Him.................
#fire emblem#aughh..... i gotta finish the last book. 🙃#it's like really good. think i stopped after the iconic 'i killed him and now i'm gonna kill you' alfonse moment#and that really tender and sweet moment right after w sharena.#i feel like sometimes i get so deeply attached to something that i just have to freeze it in time.#preserve it in amber. ect ect#also i'm still refusing to accept bruno's death. yeah my man has been surrounded by death flags since day one.#but like bro i feel like this counts as cruel and unusual punishment for a gacha character. like.#was introduced as like a Main Character but has never been a playable unit base form has been absent from the story for years#has One (1) playable appearance in an alt and now he's fucking kilt. after what was it again??? five fukcing years??????? my man.#i'm really bummed askr dies so shortly after being introduced too like. bro.... you are the god of askr.......#there was. so much. that could have been explored. maybe. idk. all this is second hand. he's also just warm and friendly and hot. huge L.#but yeah i fucking get it this is War The Game people Will Die. could bruno at very least have survived tho. escape the narrative a bit.#i was also just really scared of any. developments. but i heard from my sister it's fine and vero has really nice character growth#(i am so against alf/vero as a romantic pair it's UNREAL and i think i'd have to kill if they were endgame. sorry. except not really.)#but yeah new book!!!!! yippee!!!!!!!! i do miss him........... i wonder if summoner will be present for this one.#fe alfonse
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despite everything bds has said people will still make up boycotts just cause they personally dont like something
#people keep sharing that article that wasnt even for a boycott#for eurovision LAST YEAR#it was to raise awareness of israels intro where they plant trees and not blanket boycott of eurovision have yall even read it#bds has called for boycott of eurovision ONE YEAR which was the year israel was hosting#if bds says something about eurovision like closer to when it actually happens ofc i wont watch but theres people feeling soooo smug about#disliking eurovision anyway that are so fucking obnoxious#and like fuck offfff you are LITERALLY defeating the point#my partner told me he saw someone call for boycotting of coke for palestine also for some reason#and i remember when the un vote happened some person was incredibly vitriolic about boycotting everything related to EVERY single country#that voted no or that was even like neutral#except for. curiously. the united states#and like bro i live in croatia lol yeah the govt gets tax if i buy something from the farmers market but like be for fucking real rn#and anyway i wish people would stop making shit up!!! it is literally detrimental to the cause!!!! have people even like LOOKED at the#targetted boycott infographic that ive seen like 30 times in the last week or do you just click reblog because you think youre supposed to#and some of yall think that bds stands for boycott doycott soycott. bro boycotting isnt the extent of what they do#begging ppl to actually think about things they read and share#free palestine#yall literally love to do nothing and call it activism
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i have no idea why my french teacher kept on saying I look sad today in class, I was just tired 🧍🏽♀️
#bro kept on asking if i'm sad like HuH#i mean yeah cause i'm not passing this class but other than that i'm just tired man#like bro asked like 3-4 times in class today it just started to feel weird cause i swear people were just looking at me weird tryna see what#he was seeing#like ?????#anyway#the summer camp job i did last year that i didn't have a fun time in the second session#anyway people keep on asking be about the job#like i'll smile and nod and encourage them to apply but i'm just tired of people asking me about it#like it's just these people coming up to me only to talk about the job#like i mean yeah people only talk to me when they want something ig#rip#but the girl in my class is going to be the head person in charge of the camp this year#idk why tf people are asking me about it when she's right there#like i'm not the one recommending it she is#stop asking me#and i can't even talk about my experience cause yeah i had an amazing time working there#it's just in the second half of it there was so much miscommunication from the people in charge it got so annoying#like i didn't not have a fun time cause of this girl because she didn't even do her job properly#but it's hard to explain cause we all had different experieces working there#zhgsdslagsdklbj
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I’m out of town for a couple of days for my brother’s chess tournament and the internet in this hotel sucks butts and I only brought one book with me 😓
#sucks butts IN A BAD WAY#this is the same hotel that held the last couple of big chess tournaments my brother entered#so I’ve been here a few times but this is the first time I’m actually renting a room instead of driving back and forth each day#so positive: got a room and don’t have to drive a bunch. negative: no continental breakfast 😒#they have a little tiny starbucks but no free breakfast which is bullshit!#also all of my books are stilled packed up from moving bc I’m lazy so I couldn’t grabbed any one I really wanted to read#but I did get a free copy of Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’ the other day so I brought that#and yeah I am kinda pumped to peruse that. Mr King is a pretty cool dude and I def want his writing tips#but also… I just kinda would rather read something about a fucked up wizard or something ya know?#anyway I always feel weird or annoying saying this but if you want to send me any asks or anything to help pass my time then by all means#or not. it’s cool. really. I hate bugging people and I hate coming off as desperate & needy outside of the bedroom#im going to be mushy and say im kind of excited to spend the night sleepover style with my little bro here#he’s getting older and it’s getting harder to convince him to hang out with me#love this little dude so gosh darn much#oh man what if we get a pizza and watch a movie together? would that be cool? is that something teenagers like to do with their older bros?#i’m so lame#being like 18 years older than your younger brother means you get to fulfill your cool uncle/dad vibes without actually having kids#ok I have to stop myself from filling this with tags about wishing I was a dad or being whatever#what was I saying before?… did I even have a point?#oh yeah… bad internet… only one book… I’m hungry… yeah…#this isn’t important#you can ignore this#text
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your wrist was hurting sorry man I know how drawing and presumably college work does that get well soon ❤️🩹
LMAO NAW ITS FINE for one thing my hurt wrist is my non-writing/drawing hand so i can still draw/write/use utensils, drawing's just a lot slower without my hotkeys so i figure this is a sign i should take a proper break and rest up. plus i hurt my wrist rollerskating so dont worry i didnt sprain anything from drawing too much
#snap chats#genuinely surprising ive not seriously hurt my left wrist from drawing#i mean- some years back my wrist did really hurt for a few days but i dont think it was as bad of a strain as this#i take real good care of my left wrist since then anyhow so im not worried about getting another drawing-induced injury#like i said last ask tho my wrist feels a lil better compared to yesterday so hopefully i can get back to it soon#got plenty of things i wanna doodle and write and while i can write with one hand... this is a nightmare LMAO#'snap i thought you were sleeping' uhhhhh Oops <3 i started playing y7 again but before i did i was watching a vid#and now im watching it agan so.. lol#so funny while i was playing tho my sis walked in and started watchin and crackin jokes#shes so funny... SO FUNNY she saw sawashiro and was like 'wow he looks like a real guy'#to which Of Course i was like 'oh yeah its cause hes modeled after a real guy :)' an she was like OOOOHHHH ok#and then she saw arakawa and was like 'see he doesnt look real' and then i had to be like 'bro hes Also based off a real guy' LMAO#yeah... super silly.... i always love playin games when shes around even if shes never SUPER invested#i appreciate that she still watches an can still be funny. goofy as hell she was like 'these cutscenes are so long--#didnt uou play this game last summer ??? how many times have you played this' and i was just Uuuuhhh Seven :)#LMAO HER FACE but she was all 'awww :)' when i tol her i was letting the cutscenes play out so she could watch#ok im done rambling i just said typing like this is a nightmare and it is so im stopping now BYE
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venting in the tags yippeee
#damien.txt#gender talk time 🤪✌️#....................................................................................#screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan#uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that#soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated?#as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns#neither do i she/her. or they/them.#and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here#and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways#i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all.#but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me#as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc#and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait.#and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it#and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever#bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is.#and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like#hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow?#like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even.#and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it#is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too.#and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all.#but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it#and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck.#and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that#and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck#and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol#AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor#lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace ✌️
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ah yes a vicious cycle
me: has a obsession that has been going on for three years
also me: hates the obsession with a burning passion
also also me: only has daydreams about it much to my dismay
WHY AM I LIKE THISSSSSSSS
#also also also me: hates myself for having it#dove rambles#bro i need to sleep i keep feeling like a shit person for having this obsession#i was temporally saved last year#AND THEN IT THREW ME RIGHT BACK INTO THIS#i wanna cry#like wtf#and yes im going to keep it unnamed because I AM ASHAMED OF IT#i blame tiktok#and quarantine#those two bitches ruined my life and yet made it manageable AT THE SAME TIME#i wanna be normal again#but i know as soon as i am im going to feel like i just lost apart of myself#and yes i've tried finding better shit out there#but it only lasts for so long#and then im back here again#the only way to stop it is to finish the series#but i keep seeing posts saying to just abandoned altogether#so idk what to do#i think i need to go to therapy again#because what can a teenager do#i cant talk to my mom about it shes sleeping rn and when i do talk to her about it she tells me that im silly and to just keep reading#and its so embarrassing talking to my dad about it#and he's also at work rn#and my sibling is asleep too and wouldnt know how to respond#and everytime i do talk about it i feel like crying my eyes out#and crying in front of people is so embarrassing#for some reason#and i kinda just stopped talking to my online friends#because im not in their fandoms anymore
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WHEN WILL STRAIGHT GUYS STOP HITTING ON ME .
#fellas if its been 4 years and ya ex from hs hits u up (weve talked on and off since so its not that weird)#and is immediatelt like [basic attempt at mentioning shared interest] so anyway my wife and i are in an open relationship now.#do you suck it up and fuck the straight guy.#to be clear i mean 4 years since i last got laid not 4 years since we broke up LOL that was uhhh 11 years ago?#anyway#he knows im trans. so like.#on one hand i think its fine from the straight guy angle#hes trying sooo hard to be polite abt it#but. bro . Your Wife#he literally said she was just too worried abt him cheating during oversea trips for work (afaik he never had shes just#Like That) and she just wanted to make their relationship officially open so she could stop worrying abt it#and idk i just feel like id be getting in the middle of a ticking time bomb yanno.#whats the consensus here.#EDIT NVM HE JUST WANTS PICS LMAO I WOULDNT EVEN BE GETTING DICK OUT OF IT 👎👎👎#I Get It. I Have Massive Tits. Sighs.
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1996 dash simulator
🍊 allpulpnojuice follow
guys i'm serious can we PLEASE leave the battle of britpop in 1995 where it belongs i am So Tired
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👽 skygazer81 follow
has anyone heard of this group heaven's gate? they seem kinda sus but their website is sick as hell
🔬 number1skeptic follow
dude...
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👑 princessdianastyle follow
i can't believe di and charles officially got divorced romance is DEAD
🇺🇸 itstheeconomystupid follow
ok royalist bootlicker
👑 princessdianastyle follow
oh so now the clinton/gore rpf shipper is going to preach to us?
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👩❤️💋👩 lesbianbartsimpson follow
i just saw the birdcage in theatres...tbh i don't love the queerbaiting. why would you cast two straight actors to play a gay couple...
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🫎 tabarnakonwood follow
society if québec had won its independence last year
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🪩 rhythmnation1814 follow
i swear if staff doesn't stop fucking around i'm going to permanently move to geocities.
#i'm just glad my PC can run netscape 2.0 #but the dial-up is so slow it's like barely worth it ugh maybe i'll just stop using the internet in general #it's not like i NEED it yk
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😎 Anonymous asked: Do you agree that if the glove does not fit, then we must acquit?
🚬 mall-rats answered: Bro I'm not getting baited into talking about the OJ trial again. Go troll someone else
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🧠 craneonme follow
can you GAYS stop posting frasier spoilers
☕️ cafenervosa follow
niles fucking DIES
34,021 notes
🍳 waterydomestic follow
does anyone else feel like the pavement fandom kind of sucks now?? i don't want to be an asshole but when cut your hair started playing on mtv all the time i knew it was over.
📻 philselwaysbaldhead follow
lol now you know how radiohead fans felt when fake plastic trees was on the clueless soundtrack
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🍔 kelandkenan follow
i've always loved the way they loved...
#kel climbing thru kenan's window because he just HAS to see him even tho he's banned from the rockmore house #like i'm sorry but it's true love your honor
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🧸 thebeaniebabyenjoyer follow
whenever i see that someone's fursona is a gerbil i'm always like oh so you must be a pretty big richard gere fan
🕺🏻 scentofalpacino follow
hold on let me ask jeeves something
🕺🏻 scentofalpacino follow
yeah this is funny as hell
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Help I just saw a sad video about grief of my Twitter feed and now I'm crying I'm supposed to be getting ready for bed
#my mom's most likely asleep so i dont wanna bother her for a hug#and i dont wanna call my dad bc i dont really need to talk i just need to cry it out#but damn i really miss some people#i feel like a broken record crying about it but like. bro it's almost been a year since what has been my biggest loss so far. what the fuck.#how do i process that#i miss this person so much and i feel like i lost a part of me with them#a downside of having a tight knit family is when you lose a member it hurts way more#my dad and my aunts still haven't sold her house. they still go through her stuff. she had so mucb stuff lol. a lot of it was really old#we took her piano and i think i pressed down on like one key when we first got it moved to our house and then had to stop.#it sounds like her house to me.#i've advanced so much musically over the last year and she never got to hear it. she would've loved the shows i hated being in this year#they would've been more worth being in#im just making myself sadder so im gonns try to distract myself now#keyword try#wish me luck#grief tw#vent
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