#feels like a job offer tbh
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Hey! How are you doing today Have you ever participate/practice bdsm lifestyle before and for how long
screaming cause why does this sound a recruitment drive 😭😭
#to answer your question#i have never participated in BSDM lifestyle#feels like a job offer tbh#asks#thank you!!#alphaleatherblogstuffsblog
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begging linkedin to stop showing my unemployed animator ass self "how to make art with AI" posts please stop i already have to scroll through 20 posts of my friends quitting the industry every day LMAO
#talked to a man at an event tonight and . might get a layout gig with him. maybe. maybe#i don't feel like i'm particularly jinxing it even because i will be miserable in a layout job but omg...not being unemployed <3#pers#plus he's opened a 3D studio locally which is#super exciting!? so i can maybe transition back into animation through that#or go straight into anim I DON'T KNOW I'M GONNA EMAIL HIM a bunch of my friends work there#and they actually have. PROJECTS. WHICH IS CRAZY#so it's less a "if'' they'll hire more and more ''when'' but . but#yeah i need to get out of this industry i guess. tbh. to be honest with you#like he knows me and likes me so i feel decently confident. he approached me recently to OFFER me a job whcih i turned down cos i'm DUMB an#was burnt out
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idk how long my laptop will survive seeing as i hardly use it anymore so anyway here's an abandoned project from a couple of years ago where i ambitiously tried to make an rpg with the yokai outfits. here are some sprites i made
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#joseph desaulnier#identity v photographer#tracy reznik#identity v mechanic#this is a part 1 i have more. but its not enough for an entire game#i had a couple of glaring plotholed i couldnt resolve#n tbh by the time i got to the other sprites i didnt like the way aesop n joseph turned out cos i did them first#i also meant to shade them but i couldnt get around to it. i think the flats are nicer but i also feel like i should shade#project death by perfectionism. if anyone wants to hear more im more than happy to share about this#i could probably dig up the docs somewhere. i dont have the time or energy to make a full blown game#i am so bad at coding#also shoutout n apology to ish aka azzy mun cos she offered to help with this#but i disappointed both her and myself by not having anything very concrete. im sorry ish but also thank u for the help#anyway seeing as the blog is slowly dying due to lack of asks n interactions n also my full time job that hates me#i might as well dump these here for archive sake#unconcerned art#part 2 coming soon
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We do think that Riz is a gynandromorph of some description, especially since damselfly sexual dimorphism tends to be pretty distinct and he's displaying a very unconventional morph for a damselfly of any flavor. He would have no goddamned clue what that would mean, of course, and he probably wouldn't care about it if you told him, but he's definitely got something going on there.
#we speak#bug fables#for reference its a Thing for damselflies to have mimicry in the form of Females Who Look Like Males#but its a one-way street. theres no equivalent female-mimic morph for males#which makes riz Extremely Notable since hes displaying a real clear female morph there#and though being transgender would be very much possible for him we prefer this option#especially since it also offers extra reason why he's got such a broad palette compared to his sister and his father#guy is Unusually Big for a male damselfly and just didnt think twice about it. he feels like the sort of guy who just#wouldnt care overly much for self-definition we think. hes got a job to do. do you think he cares about how rare his genes are?#for his sister there is literally no way to tell if shes transfem or just a mimic morph and tbh good for her#we'll. drop some comparison images in a reblog for the irl damselflies#but in general we favor this one both bc it appeals to us more and bc riz just feels like the sort of guy who wouldnt care much abt gender#like. even if he were trans he feels like the sort of guy who would tell like three people about his pronouns#and then just go about his day and either they tell people or they dont and he doesnt particularly care either way#hes got things to do. traps to build. yes hes a guy but what is the point of making a thing out of it when theres poachers to deal with#he feels like the sort of dude to be Cis Guy enough that hes entirely confused as to what ur talking about if u try and misgender him#no clue where youre coming from but youre wrong#anyways back to spear fighting 101#(note: male and female used here as in the arbitrary sex categories. its the junk. we know its not accurate to being A People)#(its the terminology we've got in the back drawer)
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in a fit of job-related frustration i briefly went job hunting and while the prospects were bleak enough that i abandoned the exercise pretty quickly, i actually found two library jobs that were so suspiciously perfect for what i want in a job i was kind of like ??? what the fuck. i yearned for a library job back when i was first seriously job hunting in the us in 2020 but i couldnt find anything full time or with decent enough pay. and now TWO (2) jobs that a) are higher level but DON'T require a master's degree, which is shocking enough in itself b) both exceed my current pay rate (????) and c) actually are in my wheelhouse and are jobs i could do well, show up on my radar in the exact week i'm looking at jobs? suspicious!
i applied to both of them mostly just for kicks. i kind of forgot about it last week due to my grad school haze but i just remembered to double check the apps and for the one that closed to applications last weekend i've been moved up to reviewing training/experience... which seems like a good sign???? genuinely don't know what i'd do if i actually get asked to interview but that'd be so funny omfg
#liveblogging life#me: i'll quit my job if they force us to come back in five days a week#me: applies to a job that's 100 percent on site#the DIFFERENCE is with this job it actually NEEDS to be on site which immediately makes me less resentful about it lmao#also it's a LIBRARY. which immediately makes me WANT to be on site lol#i dont know that i'll get an interview offer but i do actually fit the qualifications to a t so maybe????#i'm also kind of leery about even the potential possibility of a new job since i want to take a long vacation next may#and like. if my hopes for grad school pan out i may be moving out of mn next fall?????#but that's assuming they'll pan out which like lol there's NO guarantee of that whatsoever#and if they dont i'll be staying in mn obvs so....#idk. i looked at other jobs but tbh none of them match my pay while having something i'd want to do#and i want to stay with my employer i just want to switch to a different dept or s/t#and really ideally i'd like to NOT work with doctors... so ideally i want like a grant related position or s/t#where i'd be reviewing things or writing things and not doing calendar micromanagement#but i'm having trouble finding jobs that offer that and are still at a comparable pay#and tbh if i move i'd ideally like a HIGHER pay.#[deep sigh]#anyway i feel like i'm waiting for so many things next week#my grad lors to get back to me and potentially job responses.... this is so stressful
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i absolutely cannot let myself get started on another fic until im at least onto chapter 5 of caecilian but the temptation to write something of aaravi taking miranda monster hunting and describing the entire EVERYTHING there is real
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#mostly in the duality that is#what aaravi actually does as a monster slayer and the context that it exists within both in her own life and within the world#and with the fact that miranda doesnt actually sincerely identify as a monster nor care about that divide#to her this is landfolk on landfolk problems that merfolk have absolutely no involvement in#she only gets labelled a monster by landfolk who care about this and using criteria that wasnt made with merfolk in mind#and goes with it because really shes trying to do her job and serve an ambassador role and Whatever#its the same as her picking a gender basically at random. there wasnt a none of the above option that was offered nor applied#to her aaravi is basically a mercenary and thus her feelings are the same as a mercenary#shes not meaningfully different than anyone miranda already knows through bellanda#and aaravi has. complicated feelings about it.#aaravi has complicated feelings about all of this#miranda occupies a role like aaravi herself where she fails to fit into either side of a duality#but aaravi also has a rising guilt about her involvement that she has to explain to miranda in the first place#and all of this parallels miranda's role as princess too#about how little aaravi knows about her atrocities and what shes done and what it MEANS for her to be what she is#as someone who was never subjected to it and has no context for how bad it really is#theyre very much two sides of the same coin tbh#very alike each other but in opposite contexts#which tbh is part of why they work so well#its the combination of understanding and support and yet just enough challenge to stop them from buckling down harder#theyre able to call each other out because they know personally exactly whats happening in the others mind#which is also why i dont like ships that just wholeheartedly encourage aaravis whole everything without understanding whats going on#the same as why i hate ships and endings that have the other person just joining miranda as royalty#like. no. no these are not neutral endings here. you do not get to absolve anyones involvement here.
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RAHHHHH i got a job after 3 weeks of applying and 2 interviews but i cant even take it bc conflict of interest D:
#i do stock work at a clothing store and this was at ANOTHER clothing store#but i forgot to check company policy til after the interview and they got a section that says u cant work for a competitor#SO I CANT EVEN TAKE IT!!! RAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH#the job offer i got pays like 50 cents more but tbh its not worth losing my current one bc 1. i already know what to do at my job#and 2. my schedule at my current job is a lot more flexible so i dont wanna lose that#i feel bad bc the interviewer was super nice and liked me and now i gotta email him like 'sorry i cant take it :('
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I have had a VERY busy week (positive but very very socially draining) and I am ABOUT to have a few days of work and then ANOTHER very busy week (work, 2 different appointments and a job interview) and I just wanna take a moment and remind myself that I may take longer to do things than average but im still DOING them and it's. Okay to still feel tired several days after making a phonecall
#idk im having a lil moment of clarity/calm in the middle of.#what feels like a storm of there Always Being Something that i need to do#and thats never gonna go away but its okay to take a breather here and there to help me keep pushing at it#feeling very positive today bc i got offered an interview for a youth councillor role locally#the main problem with it is its 20 hours a week and a 6 month contract. so i cant leave my current job for it#BUT it would allow me to reduce my hours a bit doing something hopefully less emotionally intense#the coffee shop below us ia recruiting again too which. isnt the best look tbh but i think if im doing two jobs id rather#have one there bc like. ive done fast food#i know i can handle it at its worst for at least a while and the bougie coffee place isnt likely to hit those peaks#so yeah! lots of stuff going on lots to do#definitely not talking to friends as much as i should be#but heres kind of why i guess and currently at least im. feelin pretty good!#we also made it through last month without asking for help#which. is huge but being undercut a little by me spending more than i intended and being mega nervous abt it#not sure how this month is gonna go. but. baby steps.
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listen im obviously pro-union but when people on here go on and on about how they're so perfect and they keep your workplace from ever being able to exploit you i just think back to the union job i had in a grocery store where they still deliberately shortstaffed and scheduled me just under full time to avoid giving me benefits and expected me to take on work outside my actual role's responsibilities, etc. and then on top of all that i had to pay union dues. and like sure maybe it would have been worse with no union but honestly i think it probably would have been exactly the fucking same. just saying like use critical thinking and independently evaluate any organization you may or may not join and decide whether it is right for you, don't just blindly assume union=perfect like it seems people on this site want for whatever reason
#the reason i joined the union anyway was because they offered protection and legal help if u got into a work accident#and i wanted that since i had a job with some potential injury risks (tho thankfully nothing ever happened lol)#they didn't offer much else to part-timers tho tbh#i think full time people could get insurance through them but i don't remember now#my point is that like yeah that union served a purpose#but it didn't do everything. having a union did not magically fix the toxicity in that workplace#it just made me feel slightly better to know someone would be on my side if i ever had to fight that toxicity in a serious way#would have been nice if they did something about the scheduling practices of the company but idk if that was even in their power#bri babbles
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please forgive me, but I need to complain and over-share or my brain is going to explode please feel free to ignore
#I'm not doing well.#the last two places I worked (in a tourism-adjacent sector) closed. broadly speaking due to post-lockdown financial issues#for the past year at my current job I've been earning less than half what I used to. this was the only offer I got at the time and#I haven't found anything better since. this is not sustainable I'm barely making it each month...#I live with my parents and cancelled my health insurance I don't know how else to reduce my budget. it's depressing tbh#the solution is obviously to find a better job but that's just not happening and I'm beginning to feel discouraged.#I hate being negative it's a very unattractive character trait but I just feel myself slipping and spiraling#I know I should be taking short courses or volunteering to boost my cv but like when ! and how !#I can't afford to work less but I get home at 20h so even evening courses are tricky. I work every other saturday too so weekends are out#and like I do need to rest at some point you can't be depressed and burnt out that's a terrible combo#was looking at a dtp/typesetting short course and 1) I'll need a new computer that can actually run design programs#and 2) the course itself is like 2 month's salaries which I cannot realistically save right now#and yet I'm still ''over-qualified'' for entry level positions because I went to uni. well maybe that's just a polite excuse#because as interesting as my humanities degrees were they didn't equip me with any practical or marketable skills#besides being good at reading and writing. but AI can do that for free now so that's not helpful#I always thought I was reasonably intelligent but I cannot solve this puzzle. there must be a creative solution that I'm missing#but i feel so stuck and trapped#and at least once a week some poor soul stumbles in to the office practically begging for a job so I feel bad for complaining#a little truly is better than nothing#but thank god we elected more pro-business capitalists into government that really is going to be great for us workers (sarcasm)#also I should acknowledge#I am getting some déjà vu. I feel like I've vented about this topic before#the difference is. back then it was a potential concern. now the concern has materialised into reality and rendered the situation desperate
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If I don't find a new job before September, it's gonna be 9 straight weeks of polls starting in September, every weekend of September and October (including the weekend of Housemate's bday, and the weekend leading up to Election Day)
In addition, no cancels or sick days will be allowed for that period of time. Any cancels or sick call outs will result in disciplinary actions up to a fast tracked firing (to be fair they didn't say this exactly, but the Implication in this part of the email is quite strong lmao.)
Anyone wanna hire me on to do literally anything? Dig holes? Clean your house? Shine your shoes? Feed your cat/dog/fish/cow/etc? Stare at a pot of boiling water for your dinner? Paint your living room then stand there and watch the paint dry then repaint it a different colour and watch it dry again? Anything at all, anything you want, anything-
#text post#i want to think I will have a new job before then bc ive been trying to force myself to be optimistic abt the job things#that said. been trying to feel that way for months and it doesn't seem to be working or making anything happen (which isn't a thing anyway)#despite my consistent sending out of resumes and cover letters to anything i might remotely be okay enough at or could learn quickly enough#so feeling less optimistic more worried and more utterly frustrated with this job#our polls haven't even been chosen by the big news outlets over the last few months!!! everyone uses AP instead (as they should tbh)!!!!#whomst in the fuck are we doing this for??? especially when so many of our questions as of the last few surveys#feel designed to stir up emotions and piss ppl off on both sides and treat it like a reality show voting portion#rather than the extremely serious election that it is#like. are we actually doing something useful here or can we just admit that polling like this to some degree#in its current form at least is a part of the problem#god im sorry i'll end the tag essay here soon but fuck me#i was juuuuust feeling like things were calming down and maybe I could get into later fall w/out major upsets/issues#so of course this is the best time for my manager to drop this on all of us#at least they warned us i guess. the bar is under ground and my manager consistently has a shovel#but he poked his head out of the endless hole he's digging to offer this warning before he pulls us into it with him#im so tired man
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literally why the hell am i always so anxious to call out of work
#marine myths rambles#like... worst that could happen is they fire me for calling out too much. but then i get to find a new job (is not too fond of current job)#(mostly bc of how the higher ups treat their employees. i actually quite like most of my coworkers n the actual work isnt tht bad sometimes)#(i just think the owners dont fkn know how to properly compensate or take care of their employees. its kinda wack. anyways.)#i guess i just need more ways to say tht i cant come into work bc i feel like im repetitive#literally as i was typing the last tag i got a message asking abt when i can make up the hours. like...#i offered a day tht works for me but apparently not for them bc its too many hrs for me in one week?? idk but im just like.#what do u want me to say. im already working extra days bc i was asked to. n u want me to make up the hrs im missing??? huh???#imagine if i quit rn. (i wouldnt bc id rather have another job lined up before leaving my current job if possible. but the thought is There)#anyways off topic as all hell but im thinking abt changing my url should i just do it n not say anything? would anyone care even?? lmao#would love to hear any thoughts and opinions (abt both the url and my work sitch if uve got em tbh)
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lately ’ve been feeling kinda guilty because i’ve been feeling much less satisfied and proud of this incredible opportunity i’ve received that i’ve been hoping and dreaming of for ages than i was with my silly summer job taking care of kids and like. i don’t know i’ve been reconsidering if being in film is even what i actually want to do because tbh i’ve been realizing that my actual dream is just to. be liked and have friends and be around people? i’ve been lonely for so long and i definitely know i’ve projected a lot of my desires and dreams onto my writing and lived vicariously though a lot of films and it was so important to me because it felt like it was life or death. so now that i like. have friends and have more life experiences and am satisfied with my place the idea of actually Working in film is just… i don’t know! it’s kinda been making me feel sick everytime i think about it. i don’t think i’m actually passionate about the thing i thought i was. i’ve found something i’m good at and it’s not what i thought it was or thought i wanted whatsoever! that’s scary because even questioning this kinda makes me feel like my life is turning upside down! i feel like that post where someone said they started taking anti depressants and is now deleting their bts account or something
#sorry i know nobody cares#but it’s . a great dilemma#i’m not excited and i know i should be!#i don’t know why it’s just. it’s not connecting now#i’m scared i’m wasting my time and i’m not gonna be good at this and whatever#because like. what if this isn’t what i actually want to do#i don’t Know.#all i know is that i feel so Happy when i talked abt my summer job or my current babysitting job#i can’t and don’t want to stop talking about them and i feel nothing but just. Happiness#but when i think abt this offer i took for film… i don’t know#i never have anything to say and i don’t really want to talk about it#and all it ever does it just stress me out#i don’t know. i don’t know!#i know that i still love writing and it will always be my passion#but just… i don’t know#i’m not sure what i want#one of my main fears is that i can’t handle it but tbh it’s hardly even that#it’s just.#i don’t know if i want it. i don’t know!#all im hoping is when im there in action and Doing it that i feel that passion spark up again#because it’s not even that im scared anymore. it’s just sort of dread
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i can't gauge if i've become more selfish over the past semester or if i'm finally setting reasonable boundaries. where is the grey space between these options. can i still be good if i'm not sacrificing every spare ounce of energy on other people.
#working on it#this prompted by the colleague trying to check-in with me last night#...the way she checked in was to ask why i've been so cold with her lately and why i'm mad at her#i told her i'm not trying to be cold (true) and ignored the accusations of being mad at her (bc i still am)#but i just said that i've been dealing with stuff and haven't had the bandwidth for talking about it#(ugh. she and the ex-bf have the thing in common where they think any interaction that doesn't revolve around#''deep'' conversations or baring your soul is somehow less authentic or less meaningful than any other kind of convo)#i've been back for almost a month and a half and i haven't babysat for her once#or offered to come over and watch her kid/clean her kitchen#and tbh...i don't want to.#i'm prepping for a conference and after the conference i'm going to be totally drained bc it's during my break#so i don't even GET a break i get travel and Interactions and maybe some informal job interview stuff#and then i gotta write the intro/conclusion to the diss and do edits and arrange my defense date#and start packing to move out and figure out where i'm going to live#i feel so selfish but also like. i can barely do THESE things that i HAVE to do.
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proud to announce that i now have the world’s shittiest nepo baby job
#mine#lowkey can’t believe that i’m gonna get paid for this but also yes i can tbh#i’d say i feel bad except it’s literally my dad’s decision to offer to pay me for this AND he set the wage#so i’m like. absolutely i will do this job <3. hope you’re ready to be billed for all the hours i spend googling ‘how does bookkeeping work#bc i WILL be recording & expensing those <3
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:O !!
Aaa thank you for 200 followers!! I really appreciate it I’m glad yall are a fan of my silly little ocs
#also jesus i did Not realize i had 300+ posts#i feel like i never draw at all so thats a shock to me#not art#id offer a raffle but tbh i am actually thinking of revamping my commissions for the summer so.#sorry but id appreciate the extra cash since im missing out on my two campus jobs and am not secure for summer yet jsldfs
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