#feels kinda lazy tbh but whatever. practice is practice I suppose

[sparky-is-spiders]

Drew The Character again.

(Since I’m maintagging: please no martin or j//mart thank you!!)

[straycalamities]

Your post made me curious about Julien.... Would love to hear about him and Andrews relationship

hmm...the conundrum with that is i would like to show it one day so how much to tell...

the thing abt this is julian has ALWAYS been written in andrews life. one of the constants of his story no matter how much he changes. (he used to be named Matty) but ive uh...been a chicken to properly show it because uh its HEAVY.

so hm...i've gone over andrew's family life before so it's not meh to go over it again i think...

that's also mostly stayed the same.

readmore bc...ya boys gonna get long-winded

so andrew has a very strict mother with very high expectations of her children, but especially him. his father is more lax and easy-going, pretty carefree tbh, but bc of this its to a fault where he also just..doesnt want to confront his wife. so things kinda..go out of control in the household as far as...his mom's weird like..competition thing between andrew and his sister

so andrew has a twin sister Alana (anyone remember Jackie? yea) and she's pretty naturally good at whatever she puts her mind to. not that she doesnt bust her ass, but things just? come to her. it's just how it is. and she's very much a daddy's girl which pushes andrew into the role of momma's boy. so then it becomes andrew's dad and alana vs andrew's mom and andrew. except. it's pretty much only andrew's mom pushing this narrative, but she's a very convincing person and is the kinda person to naturally command a room

alana is also a naturally curious person so she likes to pick up hobbies and things and practice them until she's over it or good at it or both. and thus..andrew gets pushed into these things too, to not be outdone

the thing about andrew, though, is that he's got a more particular way that he needs to engage with things to actually pick things up and learn them. first of all, he's a very kinetic learner so just reading or hearing a lecture about it doesn't do anything for him. and unfortunately he doesn't have anyone in his life early on (teachers nor family) who understand this about him. they just think there's something wrong with him or off about him or that he's lazy/doesn't care.

but andrew cares. oh he cares. way too much. and he works. so hard. to try to match with the expectations weighing on him, but it just! doesn't happen! no matter how hard he tries! he can't absorb what he's reading! he can't process what he's hearing! when he DOES get the chance to just get his hands on things and figure things out, he shines

and alana tries to help because despite it all, she cares a lot about him. she tries to show him things or tell him what helped her, but it's just..different. the things that work for her, dont't work for him. and she also can't be with him a lot because she has a lot going on. she has big aspirations and she has lots of friends (more things he struggles with) how did they end up so different u_u

so andrew's daily life is very very stressful. he feels like he's always under watch, under scrutiny, every little thing is being judged, weighed, and measured. and that just makes everything much harder for him. he eventually learns over-time to perform great under pressure but that's because the pressure in his adult-life is nothing like the pressure of his childhood lmao

(and if this is a universe where he's got the necromancy thing goin on, there's THAT whole can of worms too. bc of how looked down on and oo scary necromancy is)

so its like..andrew does have his aspirations, his dreams. he wants to be an astronaut! :) and he maintains some semblance of that goal his whole life. he just likes space! he thinks its neat and would rather just spend all day learning about space than anything he's supposed to be learning. not that it's easier, but he's more motivated lmao

he's a C or low B student (idk how to translate american schooling marks into anything else sorry..american moment) and so he's not doing...too bad, but definitely not enough to his teachers or his parents. and he's "inconsistent" bc go figure sometimes lessons are more to his learning capabilities and he excels so oh no now ppl have Proof He Can Do It why cant he do it All The Time. fantastic.

being so focused on making everyone proud or proving everyone wrong in other cases (yes andrew does operate on a level of spite) has andrew finding little time for himself. especially bc his moms the type to not like uhh idle activities. everythings gotta have a Point of Growth. literally the only reprieve is that his mom works away from home a lot, but she'll definitely call or video-call often to make up for that fact. and andrew's The One she has her eye on. he's Her responsibility to better

(the thing about his mom is god she's a strict hard-ass but she does love him uh...so i'm not trying to make it all Ooo Evil Heartless Mother Time. nah she cares but boy is she awful at showing it. and that's not an excuse but..yaknow. it is how it is. her whole thing abt being such a tyrant is that she's worried about him and wants him to do better and Be better and so she's gonna force it down his throat til it takes ...rip)

ofc his family all has their bonding pleasant moments its not all hell all the time and like i said his dad and sister are more uh..better at showing they care but still not..amazing. the whole household like i said before in another post is more reserved than like..ji-hoon's for example who freely give hugs and stuff

anyways so alll of this uh..stuff is to explain: Andrew Doesn't Have Friends LMAO his entire elementary school experience is spent not having time for friends and eventually just not knowing how to Make them bc he had no practice or experience doing so. and the other kids don't think much about him because he doesn't make time for them? they've got other ppl to hang out with. and when a kid does make an attempt he fucks it up somehow or his mom scares them off with the Restrictions for how andrew is allowed to interact with other kids (if andrew wouldnt tell them tho they wouldnt have to know..smh)

by the time he's transitioning to middle school is when he meets julian. julian ALSO does not have friends (gee wonder why (youll see why)) and julian sees andrew not having friends either and thinks well! time to have this loner be MY friend. and julian is a pretty charismatic person when he wants to be. he knows how to small talk and keep conversations going and all that. i say this like a tween julian already has evil intentions but tbh..nah it DOES honestly start off innocent enough. julian has a lot going on at home too and wants someone to be his friend. simple as that. andrew doesnt already have a group, so..easy choice there. should be

the stuff that usually scares ppl away doesnt work on julian because he's a very anti-rules disobedient sort at this point already anyways. he just sees it as a challenge really so even if andrew makes things awkward by parroting his moms rules on how he can interact with other kids based on her paranoias about the typical Child and what they could teach Her Precious Baby it doesnt phase him. he gonna do it anyway

they do have interests in common, turns out! they like some of the same music. some of the same shows/movies. and things like that. the rest of it Becomes shared interests bc julians the type to go "hey i like this. now you will too" and for the most part? their shared tastes go a long way and andrew DOES end up liking most things julian introduces him to

at first julian does kinda..have no choice but to follow the Hard Rules that andrews got for hanging out so..they pretty much only see each other at school, they start picking up writing letters for each other to read only when they get home so they can write a reply and they get kinda lengthy as more topics get added lol

but eventually julian starts convincing andrew to like..shake things up a bit. asks where he lives. turns up at his window. just to chaaat ofc. theyre not gonna get in trouble psh.. its just talking. then it becomes andrew calling julian at home even tho he's not allowed to be on the phone, but if he does it at night then nobody can catch him (or if his moms away bc tbh does his dad rly care..? but andrew assumes he does)

and so julian and andrew get steadily closer and closer that way and andrew is. ecstatic. his first friend! and a really close one! they're best friends! and for julians credit, he's still just thinking "yay i have a friend. someone that makes life suck less :) even if he's a dweeb who i need to teach to live life"

and okay well anything further about them needs content warnings: very unhealthy, toxic relationship talk. manipulation

so unfortunately. julian has a very uhh extreme view on his life. he likes to exaggerate everything (usually for the worst) and jus tlike in general. not just describing it, he actually feels like his life is the worst life anyone could ever have. his parents split up when he was young and now he's being raised by his grandma who is also strict but in a way where its like..shes strict on him but lives kinda like..whatever, herself. shes very do as i say not as i do but julian hangs onto the Example she's putting off and hates her guts for having the Audacity to try to make him do different when she cant even do it herself. he also has an uncle who has his fingers in a lot of very shady pots and so julian is keen to things he rly shouldnt be at a young age

so with all that, he has a tendency to kinda lash out at the world around him. thats sorta his...uh version of coping. and with so many ppl putting him at arms length mostly because of THIS part of his behavior especially, he's only got one person at his side. loyal. always there for him.

unfortunately thats andrew

and it starts small like..playful insults. nothing rly anything at first it could just be the way he shows affection. but then the insults hit parts that sting deeper and deeper. and get more and more personal. and julian starts making almost memes? of some of andrews faults, weaknesses, and insecurities as if that's just one of their Inside Jokes they have, yknow, as best pals. so andrew feels like oh well i have to like this bc its Special and its just for me. i should appreciate that he's doing this. nobody else has this. and he's not being Mean he's just being playful

and unfortunately the more andrew lets him get away with it, the worse julian gets about it. the thing is that nobody's taught andrew self-worth yet. he's been too busy trying to be what other people want him to be. so here he is, also being what julian wants him to be: a punching bag. but he doesnt realize thats what it is. he just thinks julian wants andrew to be the type to be "playfully rude" with but, again, im saying julian goes way past that

and as julian gets older, the more he reserves what used to be how he was with everyone, being him, being genuine in all the worst and best ways, with only andrew. so everyone else gets this very like..agreeable neutral kinda personality out of julian. so then andrew also sees THAT and thinks wow..i really am special

and as years go by and they go from middle school to high school and social situations change around them, andrew feels even more lucky he's gotten somebody special to him and that he's special to because by highschool it feels like everyones already got their cliques and their partners-in-crime and he'd feel like a mega loser without julian. and julians shown him and taught him so many cool things that give him things to actually talk about with other ppl when they Engage with him?

but yeah throughout highschool julian teaches andrew more and more rulebreaking habits. they even set up ways to make money at school w stuff like..selling test answers or snacks or stuff when they can get away with it. or skipping classes or other things. vandalizing things. pranking ppl (harmless :) ofc..but maybe only physically so)

so we return to julian's uncle. liek i said he's a shady dude. well. he starts involving an older julian in his shady shit. so now julian and andrew are peddling fkn weed and prescription drugs around their school and neighborhood. eventually they're hotwiring vehicles to steal. (kinda uhh tragically this is actually where andrew figures out he's pretty good at cars and likes them a lot and even if he's having a constant crisis about Being Awful, he's also uhhh more motivated to learn how to do a new thing and Be Good At It. bc that's the thing isnt it? he's finally Good At Something) and stealing other things too

and i kinda quickened the pace here but its like..well it does escalate pretty quickly because at some point julian has andrew wrapped around his little finger and tho there are the times one or both of them get caught and andrew gets in trouble, has a crisis, and swears off doing anything like that ever again!! julian just has to warm andrew up to it again. because by highschool julian also has the upper hand in that he's become andrew's gay awakening. so now andrew has a huge crush on him and especially wants to impress him and keep him around and notice him and find him cool and worthwhile

and at first julian is sorta confused?? but diversity win! the manipulative toxic asshole best friend is also into boys! but giving andrew everything he wants wouldnt be very fun would it? he has something to dangle over his head. and he's gotten to the point where this is high risk shit. andrew could very much change his mind about everything about them and leave julian and the longer time goes on, the more paranoid julian becomes of this very thing happening. so he holds onto whatever leashes he can get twisted around andrew

he'll entertain his attraction but never clarifies anything. never gives him like..bold affection. never makes it clear how he feels or if he's even completely fine with it? which adds pressure onto andrew that he's just making all this up. or he's being the weirdo, pushing something on julian who might be straight or something

outside of julian tho, andrew's family is noticing his behavior bc i mean..also hes obviously getting caught doing some of this stuff. and his grades are even worse. and sometimes they get calls abt him missing school? and they try to intervene bc like..andrews got One friend. its gotta be this guy. so they try to ground andrew, ban julian, all kinds of stuff but they're slippery and they've got all sorts of workarounds. and ultimately, they still go to the same school. and..sadly. this, at first, just makes andrew desperate to keep julian all the more bc now he's beome this like..symbol of freedom and having Fun and living life to the fullest and anything related to home starts being associated with prison, suffocation, snuffing out his personality and everything he's learned about himself and like..even if he doesnt rly has Friends outside of julian (he's convinced julian is the only friend he rly wants/needs) he's still seen as cool! the Bad Boy, the Hookup for cool shit (snacks, drugs etc) he's a hit sometimes with the Le Popular Kids ooo... and he might even get invited to get-togethers with julian (julian is actually the introvert to andrews extravert but he Humors ppl for the image and he likes the way andrew always looks at him like a lost puppy when he's trying to figure out what to say in convos with other ppl)

but overtime, julians just gotten too comfortable with being too rough with andrews mentality and his emotions. bc he's never stopped his absolute drilling into andrews squishy parts in order to make himself feel better. or somehow blaming andrew for everything, even julians own shortcomings. and playing hot n cold with andrews emotions and etc. like there's just a lot he does that keeps andrew eternally unsure of where he's standing with julian or if he's doing things Correct or in a way that makes julian Happy. and as andrew gets older and starts Understanding things, he starts Understanding that hey...there's actually a lot about this that he doesnt like. he starts trying to...ask julian to lighten up. to consider his feelings on things. that he wants to do..things he wants to do? why do they always do things julian wants to do. why do they always get into what julian likes but never what andrew likes.

julian is...surprised and he does not Like this change. doesnt like that andrew is trying to cause problems? in their relationship? like why make this a thing? when its nothing? it was fine before? but the thing about letting andrew meet ppl, gain reasons for ppl to wanna talk to him and know him is that he gets to know how other ppl are and how they feel abt him. and though he hasnt made any other Friends, he's just learning how..Normal ppl are. and how julian with him is Not Normal. and its in a bad way bc andrew feels bad! he feels sick to his stomach sometimes. and nobody gets to him like julian does! and he thought before it was the crush but now he's starting to realize...he doesnt actually feel that way about julian anymore because he's just gotten so...Cruel

well now when andrew gets grounded/banned from julian, he doesn't fight it. he doesn't find the loopholes anymore. he lets things go and just kinda...tries to see how he feels? and he finds he...feels better. there's ways he feels worse, but there's a lot more ways he feels like he can breathe. like he's a person. and he likes it so...he starts to just ween himself off julian. and julian starts to act up more bc he doesnt have his usual ways to Cope and gets in trouble more, being at school Less and that just causes more distance

and julian is finally living with what he was most terrified of. and andrew is willingly? throwing him away? and he cant have that. he's at his wits end and panicking

new content warning: whew boy suicide mention/suicide-baiting

and thats all i rly have to say aint it

he holds the fact over his head that if andrew actually does officially cut ties with him, julian will kill himself. that he has no reason to live if he doesn't have andrew. that andrew is his everything and the light of his life, his joy, all that. and he cant't just? leave him like this?

and at first andrews like wait no this is awful dont do that..im sorry and like..tentatively keeps his ties to julian, tries to continue things the wya they were! just uh..different! bc if julian wants andrew to stay then..compromises have to happen okay? and julian says he agrees but catch things getting worse again and andrew in the same boat he was before

distancing

julian freaking out in a panic at 2am on a phone call describing what he's about to do til andrew apologizes again

rinse

repeat

but andrew eventually is just...tired. man. he's getting closer to graduating. he really does NOT need this. it's taking such a heavy toll on him bc rly! nothing else terrible in his life ever really went away, this is just an addition. it's not that his mom saw him acting out and thought oh...this is bc im too hard on him, nah, she stays hard. she gets Harder. his moms stern and affectionless and doesnt understand his plights, his sisters always so busy with her life, and his dad is out of touch. and mostly: andrew doesnt want to bother anyone with his problems. its his own fault, after all. its his mess. and he also is terrified of what anyone would think of even..half the things he'd have to admit to get them to understand. or even a fourth tbh

so one day he just..has had enough. julian threatens to tell his parents what he's done, what he's really like even if it brings julian down too. julian plans to be dead anyways after so what does it matter

and andrew just tells him to do it and hangs up

he feels sick to his stomach for days, but also is too fed up to call and apologize or take it back. he flip-flops on both so much he ends up doing nothing at all

and this is where julian is officially out of his life. i call it Schrodinger's Julian at this point bc did he? or didnt he? well what is the truth is he just does not show up again. so andrew is free but..he literally does not know at what cost. and the guilt eats him up alive for the rest of his life as well as all the damage literally going from like 12-13 to 18 with what this shit did to him

(cw: suicide stuff over)

this is where some of the stories diverge? umm..he either goes immediately to college or waits. with the college timeline Also diverging to oh he makes it somehow or oh he has to drop out

my default tho is that he does try, but he has to drop out. and makes an absolute mess of himself while he's trying. college parties and nightlife and everything else. sex drugs and rock n roll pretty much. everything he knows about connecting to other people is completely Fucked and so he thinks he's making connections but it's not real. and nothing feels like it did with julian but that should be a good thing? or should it. he misses the old julian and he misses the good parts and he feels like he'll never have that with someone again or that maybe...if he did...they'd do the same thing. maybe its dangerous to be that close to anyone. but oh he wants it. so bad.

and we'll continue with my usual story but uh (cw: drugs/drug-use)

we have to delve a bit into the fact he becomes an addict. because he very much does. with all the escapism he does in college because he's just trucking along without processing a drop of this? no therapy? not even someone to vent to or hold onto? nah man. shits rough. and he loses himself in many kinds of drugs but heroin is his Drug of Choice and also loses himself in other people but in shallow ways. he becomes a party animal but in the worst way and that becomes his "college" is just this whole social scene that he's not even engaging with in a meaningful way bc he's too terrified of earnest closeness with another human being

meanwhile his grades tank and he just...stops going. needless to say he becomes very much a disaster of a human being at the end of this. the thing is tho..its all self-internalized. he doesnt take it out on other ppl or even want to make it other ppls problems. he tries to just come off as this rly fun guy whos up for literally anything. and like yeah ppl who hang w him enough can definitely See Somethings Up but he's literally just like oh its nothing! its fine im fine! bc no if he opens up about anything everyones gonna hate and abandon him

and unfortunately this gets back to his mom and she uh...cuts him off. completely. if he wont get cleaned up. if he wont just...BE better jst DONT be this trainwreck of a son or else. dont associate with her. thinking maybe itd be a shock enough he'd just Get Better? (lmao) but lmao no. and he rly spirals bad after that but luckily his dad and his sister still sneak contact with him, doing what they can? with someone who doesnt wanna make anything anyone elses' problem and insists he's fine everythings. Fine.

what Does finally have him like?? find hope again? and cling to it and start to eventually put his life back on its feet again depends on the story im writing but something eventually always does and he always has the same Sponsor to help him :'3 darius...(his old roommate from when he was a teacher at thornville..remember that guy? yea rewrote him into here in a different way) and idk..things do look up for andrew! it's just...a very much uphill battle and that's kinda usually where i place him in like Current Events in whatever sceneario/story im thinking of is after he's gotten on his feet (shakily but he's there) and he's usually a mechanic (sometimes moonlights as a necromancer for hire as well) and he's Working himself up to trying college again but hes taking his time. and he's got some sort of support circle (darius, ji-hoon, and sometimes others)

ji-hoon he actually meets as one of his roommates in college and it takes a lot of Effort from ji-hoon but he sees andrew struggling and kinda nags his way into his life to help and is usually one of the reasons andrew gets inspired to get better bc ji-hoon is literally everything julian wasnt but like in a good way. he cares, unconditionally about ppl in general but especially andrew because idk they just Click right. and like i said in another post, ji-hoon's family basically adopts andrew as well and they're so affectionate and loving and give lots of affirmations and stuff and andrew probably cries bc he's never felt that much love tbh and then feels like shit abt it bc crying is dumb, but then everyone else cries too (happy tears) and its like oh

idk this is where i start having lot sof tangential thoughts so ill leave it here but uh! yeah! so that's the story of julian and andrew! and the damage it did! and yes! this is true in every iteration of andrew ive ever written! (the julian and childhood family stuff part, not necessarily all the rest that comes after, a lot of that's new)

[tractorbeamofwoe]

Not to bring that man up, but Vegas has been gloating about "there being no band" for good 2-3 months over at Reddit. So there's nothing "unforeseeable" about those "practical issues". It really feels like everybody knew catb are not gonna play, they just waited until the very last minute to pull out. Probably couldn't legally do it before. Which is pretty low of them. Totally deserve the shitstorm that's about to begin on their socials. I wish I could defend them somehow, but not in this situation

No honestly i went straight to their insta comments cause it’s kinda entertaining watching people go off at essentially a brick wall 💀

I said before i really want bondy to come out and say something, but for once (and this is incredibly rare) i’m a little pissed at him. I mean i think it’s fair that we’re pissed at all of them equally as well as management (unless they’re managing themselves atm in which case go wild lmao) but some have more redeeming qualities than others...

I’m a little pissed at Van too, or majorly pissed i haven’t decided yet, but i feel sort of bad for him. but note that i feel BAD for him not SORRY for him. I can’t help but feel like he’s the only one that’s gutted about this and the others don’t really give a fuck. I just have this image of him in my head curled up crying on a floor somewhere and probably beating himself up about it.

I know there were probably mental health problems, personal problems, family problems, money problems, addiction problems etc etc whatever but i think the way they chose to deal with it (bearing in mind they’re all 30 year olds) wasn’t really mature or efficient.

Obviously super pissed at Benji cause it feels like he’s just been so lazy and has only been picking sides and avoiding confrontation at all costs instead of yk, actually talking to fans.

And Bob i obviously can’t fault because he doesn’t have any responsibility or connection to anything that happened after he left.

Obviously there SHOULD be much much more outrage at the management and those in the industry who let the band down massively, but the only reason why i think there isn’t more is because we can’t get a face or a name. I know for sure if we knew who management was they’d be getting 100s of angry emails and comments calling them out for their bs. This is an incredibly flawed industry and more often than not it’s those high up in power who are supposed to be “professionals” who let people down. It’s a shame we don’t know much about their management history tbh aside from V**** so we can make a note to avoid them in future and warn other artists from signing with them 🥴

[fmdrohan]

hello, hi ! 👋🏽  i hope this introduction post finds everyone well. ♡ i’m no one new to these parts, but for those of you who don’t know me, you can call me alé. i’m 21+, use he/him pronouns, and i’m the current typist for aria’s main vocalist, nina seo, & now, i’m bringing you all yet another muse. so, without further delay, i’d love to introduce you to brand-new creation of mine called 𝖞𝖔𝖔 𝖗𝖔𝖍𝖆𝖓. he is knight’s main dancer, sub vocalist, and rapper, as well as their currently marketed “sexy” member. outside of his career, he’s honestly just one big douche-bag skater kid that seeks cheap thrills, and who wants to do nothing more than put a smile on your face... even if causes him trouble sometimes. more info about him is below the cut, so please like this to plot ! ♡ tumblr im’s or discord by request.✨ 

𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞.

born in seoul, south korea, to a working class, christian family.

mom was a manager at a local restaurant, dad worked at a law firm.

both of them were busy all the time; they lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

he didn’t get much attention at home, so he sought it out at school.

there, he was known as a a huge “class clown” or “class daredevil.”

all he wanted was to put smiles on people’s faces and push limits.

did he end up in the principal’s office a lot? YES, that was his “brand.”

as he got older, his class clownery turned to pranks and thrill-seeking.

he also became HELLA interested in skateboarding and parkour lmao.

rohan felt as if he wasn’t living if he wasn’t on constantly on the edge.

he’s broken a few bones, endured tons of scrapes, but never gives in

this, obviously, didn’t please his mother and father... they were just busy.

too busy to reprimand him and care—rohan got away with a loooot of shit.

he didn’t start receiving discipline until he was scouted by bc entertainment.

despite his messy hair, distinct style, and overall vibe, he fit the bill somehow.

the two years he spent in practice changed him a little as a person; for better.

he found a new love in dancing, and he was naturally pretty great at it tbh.

his background made him extremely coordinated, flexible, and really strong.

his fearlessness made him bold enough to try out new moves or stunts.

two years later, he débuted as a main dancer and kept his impulses at bay.

this isn’t exactly what he saw himself doing in life, but he wasn’t mad at it.

over time, his image began to shift into sexier and “stud-lier” territory.

his outfits became more revealing and he was treated differently in public.

this... fucks him up a lot because it’s the exact opposite of how he is.

he’s just some skater / parkour punk that gives off dumb big bro vibes.

how on earth do they expect him to be portray and convey sexy 24/7?

as this is more of a “job” to him than passion, he does what they tell him to.

so long as his checks get signed and he accumulates wealth, he’s good.

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞.

as mentioned above, rohan gives off very douchey “big brother” vibes.

he’ll pick on you, tease you, pull pranks on you, etc. all in the name of fun.

he’ll go too far sometimes, and he’ll feel bad, but has “no regrets.” 😎  lol.

lowkey loooves anime and draws his own bad sketches; also into sci-fi.

underneath the dumb, douchebag exterior is just a big ol’ nerd, that’s all.

if you’re a cute guy, he’ll DEFINITELY flirt with you—taken or not taken lol.

he’s someone that hasn’t really let being an idol ruin his personal life tbh??

he still does whatever the fuck he wants within the constraints of his contract.

though, whenever he gets “bored,” he does things he’s not supposed to.

bc entertainment’s warned him of being careful not to injure himself, but...

i don’t really think he cares at this point in his career; he likes more freedom.

little random, but he loooves underground / indie rock music and rap, too.

one of those assholes that doesn’t really listen to any other idol music lmao.

to be fair though, he’s not really a massive fan of knight’s music either. 😁

he just sings or raps whatever they tell him to and rolls with the punches.

lowkey wants to take up tattooing and graffiti at some point, he’s that guy.

loooves to talk and meet new people, even if they find him a li’l annoying.

whenever he’s stressed, angry, upset, hungry... he shows it with aggression.

it’s never gotten intense much, but he’s not much of a sensitive “crier” yk.

there’s more of him for me to discover as time goes on, so that’s it for rn!

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙-𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘.

no plots page yet, sry :/// i’ve been a little busy this week rip.

some ideas will be below though so lmk if they appeal to you!

one, he’s definitely known to ghost people, so... maybe your muse is one of ‘em? like, this would be locked to males in the lgbt community, but you know. give him some really awkward encounters to make him feel like shit for ditching you after tons of sweet talk. sad thing is, he’s aware of it, and it’s mostly because of his schedule, but also ??? he’s just having fun, you know. he doesn’t wanna get tied down to anything right now.

two, maybe that ONE GIRL he tried to fuck with at the beginning of his career. while he knows he’s always been attracted to men, i think he would’ve convinced himself to at least try it out with a woman to make sure he wasn’t also interested in them, too. he’s a MASSIVE flirt and sweet talker, definitely made her feel special, but like... it never really went anywhere because... he just wasn’t into it, but didn’t wanna make her mad lmao. clearly ended up in a break-up and it could be both an ugly or pretty ending imo idk.

three, i’d DIE if other muses in famed were super into skating, or anime, or really any of his interests, too, and they’ve formed a “club” of sorts? just your local band o’ dirtbags who get together and fuck shit up a little bit here and there. i feel like this could be open to anyone who shares any of his interests tbh ??? maybe closer to his age is preferred, but honestly, i’m here to discuss whatever! i’m all for compromises and shit tbh.

four, maybe someone’s he’s lowkey seeing ( male, male-presenting lock ) that he’s really vibing with, but he just can’t... feasibly reason why he should have a bf right now. he’s got a lot going on, so he’s kind of a flake, but at the same time, he doesn’t intend to be an asshole to them. they’re maybe one of the only people he’s “softer” with. can end up romantic or platonic depending on how they handle it together, me thinks!

five, a dance partner or two would be pretty cool tbh! he’s not a dancer first, so he likes to dance with other people who are passionate about it to learn from ‘em. he can handle his own with choreography, but doesn’t have his own distinct style, so he’d really appreciate all the help he can get in becoming better ig? all in the name of work!

six, maybe a person who fucking HAAAATES him because they find him really annoying and super douchey, so they just... avoid him at all costs. however, he kinda picks up on the fact that they avoid him, so he pesters them even worse, which doesn’t end well... ever. this is definitely more open to anyone tbh and we can plan as we go!

seven, flipside where it’s someone that he CAN’T stand because he finds them really persnickety, snobby, and rude as fuck. if there’s one thing he hates A LOT, it’s bratty rich kids with silver spoons in their mouths. like, if this was a “the outsiders” verse, he’d be a greaser 1000000%, not a soc. lmao. he’d butt-heads with this person a fuck-ton.

eight, however many guys wanna piece of him, he’s happy to have a catalogue of fwb’s he calls on. he’s definitely not someone who says no to a good time, and he can act like a perfect boyfriend if that’s what you want. sadly, this’ll always be a temporary game. any of these fwb’s can go in many directions and can be plotted out individually!

nine, the age old question... “who’s your ideal type?” under pressure, he said you as a joke ( because of this, it could be male or female ) and now, fans of your respective groups ship you two together all the time. it’s a little awkward, and you two haven’t really talked about it much, but here you are... at a shared event sitting next to each other. how do you handle it? what do you do? is it awkward or all in good fun?

ten, someone who kinda hates that he doesn’t really take being an “idol” all the serious. he’s got a lot of shit on his bucket list he wants to do and he doesn’t let fame fuck with that, so he’s careless. he didn’t go into this business because of passion, it’s just where he ended up. your muse doesn’t like that, and thinks people like him are lazy as fuck.

[bladekindeyewear]

Bloggin’ thru new Homestuck^2 bonus, The Influencers part 2.  Kinda got my gears ground during part 1, but that largely wasn’t this sideplot’s fault, so I should still be able to enjoy it.

Reminder, bonus update blogging is always light on detail because I don’t wanna spoil all the paid content, but I’ll give the gist of my reactions and go into anything plot or character related that helps understand the main story, as well as giving you a real top-down view of “what happens” so you know what it’s about and whether or not to invest in looking yourself.  (And I don’t necessarily have to give you anything that isn’t main-plot-relevant.)

So where are they going to follow the main party?  They shouldn’t need to record the funeral I’d assume, because that already would have been televised (and awful for Jane’s PR)...  *click*

9/28/2020 - The Influencers, Part 2

TEACHER: Time’s a-ticking. TEACHER: The next plot point is yours to change, if you want it. Don’t you feel it calling to you?

Yeah, just hanging a lampshade on this whole parallel sideplot I guess.

> (==>)

Whatever it is, Imode feels it. A tiny string of relevance spooling out from their belly. They want to follow it.

That’s pretty Lighty and/or Seery.  I’ve used that terminology to describe the pull of Light and its “relevance” connotations even since the only fanfic I’ve ever written, back in 2011 during Homestuck’s run, and it’s obvious enough terminology that I think Rose later mentioned it somewhere like in the Epilogues.  Are these three kids perhaps going to get a fourth, and become their own session by the end of this like Harry, Vrissy, Tavros and Yiffy might?

They can’t stop picturing their friend, Harry Anderson, arrested or tortured or worse. They’re not sure what there is to be done to stop this chain of events, but they’re sure as shit gonna find out.

(”They” is almost certainly referring to Imode here, not all three, since Imode uses they/them.)

Alright, self-aggrandizing used for good.  Show off the sort of thing that Vriska could have accomplished if she actually used her talents for her team for once.  (Besides, like, the similar thing she did just recently by making a scene.)

> (==>)

Imode is the first to choose pursuing this path over bootlicking, and the others are sure to follow.

> (==>)

Yup, Avril and Silas follow.  (Had to be reminded of ALL of their names, it’s been months since their single named appearance.)

> (==>)

Crockercopters overhead but none taking note yet, just ominous setdressing

> (==>)

IMODE: lemme take a ⏱️ to 😮‍💨 before we figure out where to go next. AVRIL: wait don't you know? IMODE: Huh? AVRIL: we were following YOU this whole time.

Oh, that answers the first question I asked.  They have NO clue where they’re going.  Let’s see if they luck out and find the clock tower.

IMODE: You 👂 what he said about the next step 📞 to us, same as i did. Don't you feel it pulling at you?

Literal pull? Powers? Future player?  --All baseless speculation of course.

SILAS: Woah are you seein’ this.

Vriska’s probably putting on her very public display now.  (This is a bonus so I’m skipping lots of banter and arguing.)

> (==>)

Oh, they just saw John flying up to the clock tower in his outfit.  And catching sight of him fly is rare celebrity gossip stuff so of course it’d stand out to them, apparently.  (Only one of them is athletic apparently, the other two are groaning at the prospect of more running.)

> (==>)

Avril always enjoys running, but there’s something else thumping along to the rhythm of the thuds of his feet and beat of his heart. He’d thought Imode was nuts for feeling it just a minute prior, but now he’s realized he isn’t deadweight, that he hasn’t fucked up someone’s life irrevocably, and it pushes him faster and faster as he tears ass toward the belltower.

(Did we know Avril was he/him before this?  Probably but if so I forgot.)

Okay, since we’re getting glimpses into each of their headspaces narratively that BOTH have had some oblique aspect references, I have to at least OPERATE on a guessy assumption that there’s a sort of classpect-for-each-of-them thing going here.

I’ve quoted both those whole paragraphs here... so what do I see?  This is going to be a bit tougher because I don’t care as much to remember these characters...

Imode had some Lighty-or-Seery language, and then could not stop picturing bad things happening to Harry, wanting to avert that chain of events.  So something of a Seer or Mage would make sense.  But given how easily Lighty stuff and the Understanding classes (or at least what we think those are) can be conflated, Mage of Light seems a bit of a premature jump.  Heck, I’m only saying Mage because a Seer of Light already occupies a starring role, and because her first act on that feeling was to jump after it herself and tell the others:

IMODE: Stay here and 👢👅 your way into fame if that's what you really want. IMODE: I’m ✈️. Follow me if you’re not 🐔💩.

--leading by example rather than directing the others into battle.  Only half-caring if they followed, willing to pursue it herself if necessary.  So, potentially more “Active”.

As for Avril... the word “heart” is mentioned there, sure, but the full context is “there’s something else thumping along to the rhythm of the thuds of his feet and beat of his heart”.  I’m inclined to think that the rhythm/beat references, especially the even footsteps and heartbeats hitting like a metronome, might be more tied to Time?  But if so, I don’t see anything class-related.  (Could also be Blood, and him thinking of what he owes in the last sentences could be reinforcing that?  Big question marks for now.)

> (==>)

Door to the belltower’s locked.  The kids figure John’s forgotten that his son can’t fly.

AVRIL: this is it, this is the thing we can help with! #feelinit #vibes IMODE: OK I'm excited that you believe me now, but what are you gonna even do? IMODE: use your big all-star 💪 to break down the 🚪?

--so they think they can “resolve a missing plot point” by getting the way into the clock tower open?  Is this going to be a theme or running joke of the Influencers sideplot, showing plotholes resolved in bonus content like how we finally saw how Gamzee’s body was relocated last time?  When I was explicitly mad about that?  (This seems like a much smaller one though.)

Apparently in HS^2 proper they remarked that the door SHOULD be locked, but Vriska just opened it anyway and wasn’t surprised it was unlocked, which she would’ve ascribed to her luck -- how the universe just makes way for her.  (And we’re literally seeing HOW the “universe” “made way” for her this way, through these Influencer kids.  Even though Vriska could have broken down the door in a second and it’s practically meaningless.)

> (==>)

Avril just has the key!

AVRIL: so like my photoshoots are like, #modernfashion #myworkout #urbexp IMODE: Yea, your 📸 are why we’re all in this mess. We know. Get to it. AVRIL: fair. ok well this is the urban exploration part. AVRIL: a lot of the public infrastructure buildings in the kingdom have the same weird, shitty deadbolts on them. AVRIL: its like they were mass-produced for ease of access or something. AVRIL: none of the deep crockergov stuff, but a lot of the kingdom maintenance buildings. AVRIL: so once you swipe one key, you got access to it all. AVRIL: that’s how i get a lot of my hard-to-get shots #tradesecrets #tellnoone

Hhhmmmmm.  So what does this tell us about his potential role?  Getting places you’re not supposed to is associated with the Thief, Rogue, Bard, and sometimes Knight classes... as well as the Time/Space aspects, or the Void and Breath aspects.  A Thief or Rogue of Time could do the trick, and fit with the rhythm paragraph earlier... whereas Space doesn’t have the same rhythm associations even if it is “places” he’s getting into for these shots.  And photography, snapshots still in time, is something Dave was also explicitly into.  Plus, this exploit he’s showcasing is specifically for older buildings, playing into history/archaeology from an urban perspective.

So, Time is looking like a safer and safer bet for him.

> (==>)

lock click

> (==>)

long-hair swoop, cheer

SILAS: Yeah, I’m tickled a near-disproportionate amount by the unlockin’ of a door, so I’m inclined to believe you were onto somethin’.

Still no real hints about Silas, yet.

AVRIL: ok so. we did it, right? #missioncomplete AVRIL: feels a little anticlimactic #tbh IMODE: idk, I think so? whatever I was feeling doesn't seem so immediate anymore. IMODE: I wonder if-

Okay, that’s some near-confirmation that Imode was LITERALLY FEELING the plot or some such.  We’ll probably end the Influencers sidestory eventually with at least solid GUESSES blatantly obvious for their potential Hero Roles or the like.

> (==>)

Ah, Vriska and the kids are coming-- and we get the Silas paragraph(s)!  Silas is green-themed with green text, and a session with a Time player has a good chance of having a Space player too, so let’s see if...

Silas doesn’t know what being spotted by the other kids might mean, metaphysically or logistically or legally. She’s not particularly pressed by that sort of thing. But this is a day that’s come with more introspecting than she’s used to having to endure in a year, so she's ready to get moving before it becomes an issue.

As Harry Anderson, Vrissy, Vriska, and Tavros proceed to have this conversation, Silas pushes to catch up with Avril’s pace. She’s not sure where they’re headed, and has no clue what all this means for her. She knows the step she’s taken isn’t one she’ll be able to backtrack from, but she’ll figure that out tomorrow. For now, one foot in front of the other.

That...

I mean there’s a lot of talk of time-FRAMES, from a lazy perspective, but just-pushing-forward-in-the-here-and-now is reasonably Spacey? ...hm.  I was excited for the Silas paragraph(s) but I don’t see any immediately-apparent pattern meant for us to discern classpect info here.  Maybe a female Page example (since we could use one), propelled along by events without knowing what’s going on at first, too early in her journey to have taken more than her first step up the gradual incline of her long-term potential?

I really don’t know I guess.

Anyway, that’s the end of the bonus upd8!  See ya in a while.

[kumikoshortcake]

Hi! Can I ask headcanons for GoM? Their team know that they are in love (but not confessed yet) and begins to joke and give advice.

Hi there! Yes, of course! Here you go! There may be a few similarities in the reactions due to similar traits and such but otherwise, enjoy! This was a fun request to write. Also, I have no idea how long headcanons are generally supposed to be but these are kinda long hehehe...

Akashi

At first, he was going to make it this grand gesture with a handwritten poem (that sounds more like an essay) and chocolates and plushies and flowers...lots and lots of flowers. Think rose petals trails and large bouquets like in the movies.

“Sei-chan, I understand that you want to show how much you adore her, but this is going overboard.”

Reo-nee gets him to calm down and offers pro tips to woo his crush aka you with something more low-key.

And let’s be honest, Reo’s sense of fashion is freakin amazing, he is the trendsetter so he would definitely be up for having a meeting at Akashi’s house and helping him pick out clothes because this poor boy has a very *ahem* unique sense of style, at least in putting outfits together.

Sei knows a lot of high-end places but remember low-key. Not to say that you two won’t go there once you’re official. So, Hayama would suggest some nice cafes with a cheerful and homely atmosphere. I’m talking about the cute ones nestled in the corner with aromatic coffee and delicious cakes and pastries.

I don’t think any of the team members would tease him solely because they don’t want to fear his wrath on the court.

But whenever you pass by, Hayama and Nebuya get this twinkle in their eyes as they observe him watching you.

Nebuya tries to help and Hayama and Reo shoot his ideas down.

“Akashi, what about impressing them with your muscles?” “Nebuya, shut up. Just...no.”

But he does suggest inviting you to a game which is a wonderful idea!

Mayuyu straight up doesn’t give a damn. Secretly slips him a light novel.

“Ne Mayuzumi-senpai, did you give Akashi that light novel?” “What? Of course not. Why would I waste my time on such matters.”

They all care for and support him in their own ways whether that is actively giving him advice or watching in the shadows.

Kise

*cue Kise getting kicked by Kasamatsu for not shutting up about his crush on you during practice* 

“Kasamatsu-senpai, did you see how cute (Name)-chan looked with her hair done like that, did you?”

“Oi Kise, shut up! We’re at practice!”

It’s pretty obvious that he likes you by the way he interacts with you compared to other girls. He’s more sincere and he doesn’t have to maintain his ‘perfect model image’.

After being on the same team as Kise, they’ve learned to pick up on the subtle things so they’d probably figure his crush on you before he himself does.

Moriyama always trying to give him cute pick-up lines

And Hayakawa would be excited and try to help but no one can understand the poor child.

Tbh, I think Kobori and Kasa would give pretty good advice.

Kasa would give him some ideas like going on a picnic or stargazing while Kobori would be more logistical like the best days and times to go and what to bring and all the preparation he’s a mom like that

He would begrudgingly offer to teach Kise how to play some simple songs on the guitar.

Kaijo 10/10 would support him and try to help him confess no matter how much they grumble about it.

Midorima

“I d-don’t have a c-crush on her, nanodayo! Stop talking nonsense, Bakao!”

Full tsundere mode on.

His face is redder than his lucky item (a crab plushie)

Let’s be honest, Takao would definitely tease him for a great deal of it because Shin-chan is blushing and we might never see his face this color again.

“Shin-chan, Oha Asa said today is the perfect day for Cancers in romance hehe…” or “Oh, Shin-chan you’re asking me about relationship advice for a friend? Do I know them?”

But in the end, he’d be a huge help and his primary confidant. Midorima would probably practice his speech to Takao to the point where Takao has it memorized.

But for real, we’ve seen Carrot!Midorima but imagine a blushing Shin-chan as a watermelon.

Someone please draw this

Otsubo, the kind soul he is, would encourage him but more indirectly than Takao. Think a pat on the shoulder or gentle knock on his back.

Kimura and Miyaji low-key tease him but they would give him advice on when and how to ask her out.

But he stills has his idiosyncrasies and checks your compatibility and all which annoys them.

Yep, you were right…“Kimura, get me a pineapple.”

But deep down and I mean deep, DEEP down in their hearts (they refuse to admit) they all do help him as much as they can because he’s their friend teammate.

Takao and some of his other teammates would definitely spy on his confession in interest.

Aomine

Momoi would be hands down the biggest help and we all know it.

Imayoshi and Wakamatsu would use this opportunity knowledge to tease him mercilessly especially after all he’s put them through.

Once they’re satisfied, they would properly give him ideas.

*Sadistic megane sighs* “No, Aomine you don’t get a girl just by showing off.”

“Oi Ahomine, stop staring at your crush and focus on the drills, you idiot!”

Momoi would help him choose a nice location (somewhere nice but casual), pick an outfit, etc.

Sakurai would be his practice partner on how’d he ask them out and everything.

Honestly, despite how he acts, Aomine isn’t the most confident about these kinds of things cause he’s a dork but he’s trying his best okay.

And he does know how to treat a girl even if he is sometimes a jerk. (Momoi trained him as his childhood friend in preparation for this day lol)

Okay, but imagine this. Aomine is getting ready to confess and he’s really nervous and he tries to play it off but his teammates can totally tell. So they like, try to pump him up and cheer him on and it’s totally adorable. Bonding moment.

Momoi is all teary-eyed, “Well, this is definitely going in the scrapbook.”

They would all definitely spy on Aomine to make sure he’s fine/for entertainment/blackmail because a blushing Aomine Daiki.

They show Aomine the pictures they took of his confession with his blush and everything.

Aomine.exe has stopped working...until he snaps out of it and chases them trying to steal their phones to delete the pictures.

Murasakibara

It all happens when someone notices Mura sharing his snacks with you. Because Mura doesn’t share his snacks with just anyone.

His confession is the cutest and anyone who disagrees can fight me.

Mura would confide in Himuro and the latter would give him tips on how to confess and show his crush how much he appreciates them.

Mamabear! Himuro. He would help him plan everything and would offer to cook delicious food for them and this boy is so excited to see Atsu grow up. *wipes tear away* But actually, Himuro would be completely supportive and sweet about the whole thing and answer all of Atsu’s questions with careful thought and patience.

“Muro-chin, what kind of flowers should I get?”

“Hmm...well you could go with roses, but if you know her favorite flower you could give her that? Or there’s always hanakotoba, and you could give her a bouquet with flowers that represent how you feel about her.”

Atsu is actually really into the whole process of confessing it’s adorable. He puts in a lot of time and effort and Fukui and Liu Wei would watch in amazement as this lazy giant is actively looking up nearby flower shops and recipes for chocolate and your favorite foods. Like, who are you and what have you done to Murasakibara Atsushi?

Okumura offers to help him (this boi needs more love, he’s such a sweetheart) and convinces the coach to let Mura leave practice early for his preparations/confession.

Mura might go to Masako to get a female’s opinion.

They are all really supportive throughout the process and are willing to help in whatever way they can. He may be a bit eccentric but he cares in his own way, and they’re one big family.

All watch his confession and a few of them slightly tear up at the adorableness.

“The hell are you talking about? I'm not crying! I got something in my eye...give me a tissue.”

[theshinsun]

1. as far as im concerned Kagami never left at the end of last game, that was an extended dream sequence... 2. i also totally agree with you that Kagami is prolly vers, if anything, and it was also MY PET PEEVE when people pinholed him into being a forever bottom at the peak of knb hype. 3. you keep teasing your long list of ships for Aomine PLEASE do him for the character thing lol. So far all your opinions are sending me into a realm of GOOD VALID VIBES

Omg thank you!! (I agree end of Last Game is not canon… or if it is he came right back the next year or smth I refuse to accept he just left forever. And I’m really glad to see the problem of Uke™ Kagami seems to be in decline these days… fewer people are writing for knb in general, but those that are seem to have an idea what a real gay relationship is or at least make him a fucking person and not a walking stereotype, and that’s encouraging to see). 

Also thanks so much for sending Aomine! …Strap in for this character essay tho I’ve been known to never shut up about this boy once you get me started.

How I feel about this character

I honestly… can’t even explain it anymore or even try to justify it but Aomine has had a bigger impact on me than, I think, any other character I’ve seen to date. I don’t even know what it is, I do relate to him (and project on him *cough*) but like, there are other characters out there that I have more in common with, and I like his whole arc and aesthetic but it’s nothing revolutionary, so… your guess is as good as mine. 

Whatever it is, I’ve been obsessed with this guy for over half a decade, and lately even as the KNB fandom falls into decline, my feelings are not they’re just getting stronger. His development over the course of the series is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen, (that one bit at the end of the Touou/Seirin game with “I want to practice” and his later conversation with Kuroko hit me in the fucking chest every time), and I love how even though he’s portrayed as cold, uncaring and rude, it’s still understood (at least by anyone with some nuance) that that’s not what he’s supposed to be like, and underneath the distant, kind of dickish front, he’s hurting a lot. I’ve talked about the degree to which he cares about people before too, but I still have to give a mention to the ferocious level of protectiveness this guy has for his friends. I could go on about him for ages, tbh, and maybe someday I will write a for-real structured essay to try to get it out there, but the bottom line is I love this character, I have for a long time, and likely will continue to do so long into the future.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Okay here we go… I ship this guy extremely liberally, even with people he’s never interacted with (hell you could mention any random character and I could probably see my way clear to shipping them with him somehow, I’ll still try to explain my logic if I can). Prepare yourself.

Kagami (of course, AoKaga is the OTP and definitely the one I’ve devoted the most time to, they’re just the best together I’ll never get tired of seeing them figure their shit out over and over)

Kuroko (I may be AoKaga on main, but I’m still such a sucker for the tragic romance between these two, and sometimes it just hits me over the head like a sledgehammer how much I love their relationship. I’ve also got a lot of feelings for AoKagaKuro, they’re such a perfect trio and I need to invest more of my time in the OT3)

Kise (I was a bit late to the game on AoKise, but I definitely see it now. I love their dynamic and how imperfect their relationship would probably be, the complexity of it. sign me up)

Momoi (I don’t see a lot of AoMomo love anymore, but I’ve still got a soft spot for it, childhood friends are my weakness okay)

Midorima (they’re so different but that’s what makes it interesting, and I love the idea of neither of them knowing how to show/tell the other their feelings and being awkward stubborn shits together)

Murasakibara (they almost never interact but I just think they’d have such a soft cuddly relationship and be really chill together… lazy Sunday mornings sleeping in and hanging all over each other that kinda thing)

Akashi (kinda same as Akashi/Kagami, I think the difference between polished upper-class Akashi and scrappy city boy Aomine would be hella interesting… though I’ve also got some angst ideas for them as a couple, after how things went down at Teiko… abandonment and whatnot)

Imayoshi (I got pulled into this ship HARD by Lysapadin’s A Firm Hand series and now it’s no longer a guilty pleasure ship and is actually something I’ll talk about in the open, just… the power dynamic fuck me up)

Sakurai (I fuckin love the idea of an anxious Sakurai crushing hard on Aomine and not knowing how to tell him but when he finally plucks up the courage and prepares himself for imminent death Aomine’s actually pretty chill about it… plus they’d be adorable together tbh)

Wakamastu (you know it’s gotta be enemies to lovers. not just bc I’m intrigued by the love/hate relationship itself but if you look past the attitude issues these two would actually probably have a lot in common. also I’m really interested in how their dynamic might change with Wakamatsu being captain and all)

Susa (idk but there’s one throwaway line in season 3 where Imayoshi says about Aomine “actually maybe he likes you” and that’s enough for me. bring me the rarest rarepair my body is ready)

Kasamatsu (it wasn’t supposed to be SERIOUS but they got me. That moment in the Touou/Kaijo game where Aomine helps him up and “you’ve really done it now, senpai” is legit, plus these two would be such a good-looking couple, honestly.)

Mibuchi (give me the pretty boys. I have no excuse for this except maybe their interactions in my own damn fic again)

Nebuya (sometimes shipping can be as simple as hey I want them to bang right. also they’re both humongous dorks under their respective rough exteriors and I love them)

Moriyama (they bond over liking girls at first and then they’re simultaneously like wait a minute… more Touou/Kaijo ships pls)

Nijimura (I have this idea of them reuniting late into/after high school and Aomine still calls him captain out of habit and Nijimura’s like relieved and impressed to see how he’s developed since the mess at Teiko)

Himuro (they Never interact but they’d be so Petty and Snarky sign me up)

Haizaki (twisted, but I’m interested it’d be so unhealthy and awful bring it)

Hanamiya (even more twisted tbh but there is that moment where Aomine confronts him… and I’m here for hate sex just as much as your typical romance)

Inoue (who, you ask? I know he’s such a side character and no one remembers him, but he’s a big reason for Aomine’s downfall at Teiko and they seemed to be buddies before that, I’d be interested in some kind of reconciliation between them, or a romance, ya know whatever works)

And then we get into crossover territory… MOST of these are not my fault they’re just things I’ve seen and adopted for myself

Kuroo Tetsurou (someone made a moodboard for them, and now I can’t stop thinking about them in a relationship, like damn… it’d be such a beautiful mess I wanna see more of it)

Oikawa Tooru (I’ve seen art, and also the light. These two damaged angsty prodigies, one sharp as a whip the other dumb as bricks, but both of them sassy and nerdy as hell. I could see myself getting addicted to this ship if I took the time to write it out, and I just might)

Yamazaki Sousuke (can’t lie, they look good together. I’ve seen more than one art piece of them interacting and I have a Mighty Need.)

Matsuoka Rin (angry lonely talented boys finding solace in each other’s company? you know that’s my shit. also shark teeth and cop AUs hells yeah.) 

Tanaka Ryuunosuke (I don’t know where the fuck this idea came from but I thought of Tanaka trying to pick a fight with “shitty boi” Aomine while in Tokyo and then losing his shit and here we are)

Terushima Yuuji (this one is purely physical… they pretty, I have no other reason, but also this absolute fuckboy, these two would be such a train wreck and I’m here for it tbh)

Yachi Hitoka (okay picture this Giant Terrifying basketball player trying to be less giant and terrifying to tiny shy Yachi and tell me you don’t just want to see that happen. I get Legosi/Haru vibes.)

I’ll spare you the rest of the ideas I’ve tossed around, because past this point it becomes pure crack (if it hasn’t already) but you get the idea. Throw a character my way and I can probably talk myself into it that’s the power this guy has over me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My non-romantic OTP for this character

K considering the List… it shouldn’t be surprising that I also consider this person a romantic candidate, but you know when it comes to non-romantic OTP it’s gotta be Momoi. Platonic or romantic, the way she’s stuck with him all those years and his obvious protectiveness and love for her and how (even though he claims to like big tits) he never even once starts to objectify her in any way, it’s so important to me. Momoi is Aomine’s redeeming factor when he’s at his worst, and she goes to bat for him even while he’s actively trying to shake her off and still tries to protect and help him when he refuses to accept it, even when it means they fight. (Also Kuroko saying “Aomine’s probably looking for you” after their argument puts to mind Aomine running through the rain calling Momoi’s name and that is just… pure). These two have the kind of unshakable long-standing friendship that’ll probably last them the rest of their lives, and no matter what context or form it takes, I can’t get enough of it. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’ve harped on enough about the fandom’s portrayal of Aomine as a one-note asshole who doesn’t care before, so let’s see if I can change gears a little bit here. 

I honestly don’t agree with… the persistent idea people seem to have of Aomine being a narcissist or obsessed with himself? Like yeah, he’s self-absorbed and egotistical, no question, this is not to say he hasn’t got those flaws and others besides… but that’s not the same as being like, physically attracted to yourself. Part of me suspects it was a “the only one who can fuck me is me” joke taken too far, so that now the idea of Aomine being in love with himself is just ingrained into the fanon culture, but if you look at the show itself, personally I don’t see it. If anything, I would think he’d have some self-loathing issues to work through (and that’s part of the reason he gave for skipping practice, he doesn’t want to be the way he is, and specifically says he doesn’t want to increase the difference between him and everyone else). But hey, that’s just my opinion. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I mean he says he and Kagami are postponing their match, after their brief one-on-one when he gives him the shoes, and then we never get to see it… Tbh just more street ball with this guy would be great, since it’s what his whole style is based around. Even if he’s just playing by himself… or hell, maybe since he thinks no one at the high school level can beat him, we could get a scene of him trying to go up against adults. Maybe he still beats them and his despair worsens after that, but then it’d have more meaning, and at least we’ll have seen that he’s tried and is not just giving up before he’s seen all of what he could be up against in the future. Plus, picturing Aomine going five-on-one like Haizaki did against grown-ups and still slaughtering them is something I’d pay money to see. 

[snowmcid]

1-38 or ur a coward

Meme || No longer accepting (CAUSE THERE ARE NO MORE QUESTIONS TO ASK) || @agirlofwinterfell​

the be honest meme.   

WoW Britney. 

Questions under the cut. 

What would prevent you from following someone?

Excess drama, reblog karma, vauge-posting, and general aggressiveness are big ones for me, but the main thing is if I like their writing style and if I can see our characters getting along.

Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

Aesthetics are kinda “meh”?? I mean, I like pretty things, but it’s a lot of effort and I’m very lazy.

What current rp trend do you hate?

Over edited icons and tiny dark themes?? That’s just a personal preference because I have poor vision and it’s hard for me see/read. 

How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

hahaha I don’t. I just say I do collaborative writing as a hobby. 

Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?

Female muses. I love male muses, but I’ve been here so long and since I’ve only written female muses, I had to deal with that particular brand of discrimination and so every time I interact with male muses I’m still filled with this sense of anxiety. 

Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

Female muses, and I guess it’s because that’s what I’m comfortable with??

What’s your opinion on call out posts?

I understand why it might be done, but at the same time I think it’s a bit unfair? No matter how good the intentions are, someone is being branded as this, that or the other thing according to a handful of people on the internet. If that information is wrong, or someone is misled - that causes a lot of heartache for the accused and I would just prefer not to be a part of it. 

Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

Discrimination

Mob mentality

BRITNEY SENDING ME ALL 38 QUESTIONS (no I’m kidding, ilu)

What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?

I get it 100%. I get pretty attached to my partners and sometimes it gets to a point that I have a hard time writing with someone else that writes that particular muse since I already have so much history with my partner, but on the other hand, tumblr is constantly changing. People drop in and out all the time and that’s cool, so I feel like exclusivity is just a temporary thing. 

Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

Nope. 

What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

While we know that communication is integral to real life relationships, online friendships tend to require more upkeep and more effort at reaching out. 

Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

Possibly? It was private stuff and my name was never brought up.

Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

Nah, not really.

Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?

I think that it has a positive affect! I’ve met a lot of nice people and it’s a fun hobby. 

How has rp changed you personally?

It’s made me more confident in my skills as a writer and more honest with how I feel about certain subjects. It’s taught me to focus on me and not what the world or internet might think about me. 

If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

Any of the three things that bother me from above, for obvious reason. 

Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

Nah

Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why?

Nah

Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?

I delete it, I don’t see a point in reinforcing that sort of behavior? Someone that is sending anon hate is going to be continuously checking your blog to see how you respond. They want that attention, they want the satisfaction of knowing that they hurt you or got to you in some way and nothing is better than frustrating someone that hateful. 

Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

Yes. 

Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

Nope. Tumblr is a hobby and it’s meant to be enjoyed. 

What would make you block someone?

Rudeness, blatant disregard for my rules, harassment, and drama. 

Have you ever stolen something from someone else?

Not intentionally and not that I’m aware of. This is something that I’m constantly afraid of?? I love duplicates and I often follow/discuss my muses with them and I’m always scared that at some point, I’ll claim that something we’ve spoken about or that I saw around, was my own idea. I tend to avoid metas for this reason and if there is ever something that I do want to make canon for my muse, I always ask first and credit where possible. 

Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?

Not that I’m aware of?? 

Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

See above.

How do you feel about vague posting?

I think it’s childish. Just talk to the person that you’re having issues with and I just am too tired and too anxious to put up with it. 

Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?

Not so much anymore. I tend to do a lot of mobile browsing/blogging and I don’t ever want to push myself into place where I’m not welcome, so by only following mutuals, I save myself a lot of time. 

Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?

Yes, but I forget them pretty immediately, so I tend to do a refresher before I send memes or write a reply to a thread. 

What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

No, I can understand how disheartening it can be to reblog memes and not get anything while other users are reblogging things from you, but it’s the internet and everyone is free to do whatever the hell they want so long as it is not exploting/hurting others and I don’t think it’s fair to coerce/force/guilt other users into interacting with someone.

How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?

Nah, not really. Vines are the ones that have fucked up my vocabulary. 

Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?

I used to be confused about the differences between “private” and “mutuals-only”, but I’ve got it figured out now. 

Have you ever experienced discrimination?

I’ve been writing female muses on tumblr for just over seven years. 

How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

It’s fine, so long as they don’t reblog threads. 

Have you ever cried while writing a reply?

Ohh yeah. @rcsethcrn​​  is to blame for most of my tears. 

Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

I read ones that come across my dash, but I don’t really follow them? I’ll read the ones that catch my eye.

What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

I’m not sure tbh?? There isn’t anything I can think of at the moment. 

How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?

I do my best to tag triggers. I think they are valid and given my work/education, I can’t bring myself to leave them off. I try to stick to general terms for things that may be upsetting to others?? I’m not very specific, but I try to go off of what I would find uncomfortable or refer to this mental list of things that are more generally upsetting. 

What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

Be kind to yourself. Don’t let what people say get under you skin, don’t get hung up on who follows you and who doesn’t. Do what is best for you and your mental health. 

[pripecias]

how do you rp on tumblr? I've never tried it before

it depends on what you want to do tbh.

 i rp on tumblr in several ways:

1) i have an indie rp blog (independent roleplay blog - basically you just post random open starters and whoever wants to reply will, and you browse the tags - such as #indie rp - and reply to whichever starters you like too. it really is that simple and random lol)

2) i shout into the void the things i’d like to write (and tag them 1x1 rp or 1x1rp) and sometimes the void shouts back. (aka i post “id like to write x” and someone replies “me too”).

3) i do a lot of 1x1 rp meaning it’s just me and another person writing (usually old rp partners, or people i found using the method  #2). i have a sideblog dedicated to our threads and… that’s literally it. i write a post, they reply, i reply back, they reply to my reply, etc etc etc. that’s literally it.  

a lot of people will tell you that you need gifs to roleplay on tumblr and frankly i think that’s a load of bs (this whole community, which is supposed to be a writing community, replies on gifs and “the aesthetic” far too much). i myself don’t use gifs when rping often simply because i’m too lazy to go search for one that fits the reply. however, again, the rp community on tumblr does value the “aesthetic” a lot and you’ll find more partners if you have nice gifs etc.

i love rping on tumblr because by now i’ve gotten the hang of it (i’ve been doing this for 6 years) and i do a lot of private plots (1x1), but rping on tumblr can be … kind of Not So Great tbh. it certainly feels more like a chore and more frustrating than rping on jcink (and you get stressed out more easily in my experience). and you do have to “market” yourself more - you have to fight for constant exposure and you will find yourself shouting into the void and getting 0 replies back 90% of the time. however, tumblr is more practical when it comes to 1x1 rping. 

honestly there’s absolutely no method to my madness lmao i just…. go for it and whatever happens happens. i’ve been operating that way for years so i’m not the best person to explain. the only solid advice i have for you is kinda lame but frankly it was a game changer for me the second i started living by it: don’t be afraid to message people about plots, put yourself out there, and move to the beat of your own drum. also block people you dislike. the rp world has become such a shit-show you really just… gotta stay in your lane and do your thing and don’t engage in the drama and just have fun. 

in my opinion if you want to give it a go just create a blog, make it ~pretty~ , if you have characters set up a characters/muses page so people can check them out, and hit up the tags (such as #indierp) and message people about replying to their starters or plotting something together. that’s it. that’s the best advice i can give you. create the blog, browse the tags, and start replying. 

this is probably not a very helpful answer so you’re looking for smth more coherent: 

http://pirncessleia.tumblr.com/post/127442200528/a-guide-to-modern-rping-hello-my

http://rphelper.tumblr.com/post/43194725895/a-guide-to-independent-roleplaying

http://rpstagram.tumblr.com/post/24900665368/welcome-to-the-world-of-roleplaying-now-keep-in

i hope this helps you!!!

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 09/28 NXT 09/30 NXT UK 10/01 Smackdown 10/02 Takeover 31 10/04

Raw:

*bell rings*, *Asuka runs straight at her opponent*, *gets punched once by some weak ass looking shot*, *collapses uselessly* PPPFFFFTTTTTTTT

I hate that elbow kick off thing Zelina does. Becky used to have a hold like that in nxt. Hated it then, too. Awful.

That hurricanrana where Zelina fell on her ass, though. Wow. Okay.

Is it just me that thought the modified grounded octopus took awhile to cinch in? That was in for so long lol.

Why are women barely jumping for these german suplexes lately?

Omg that one-armed suplex by Asuka was great.

That kickout by Asuka was incredibly well done. What a perfect stretch with perfect timing. Zelina even tucked the left arm. Points.

Oh nice didn’t know Zelina could do a moonsault. And right onto the knees so the Asuka lock can be set in. Nice. Good ending.

That was better than their Clash match, and Zelina showcased different things, even if I wasn’t a fan of some of it.

Ah the debut of Mandy and Dana as a tag team.

I really like Lana and Nattie together.

Oh wow decisions that make sense and are building toward something. What alternate universe have I stepped into? Please bring back GMs and stop being so lazy, please.

I really don’t understand why they moved these women like weeks before the draft.

Alright let’s swap momentum... it’s time Dana gets some comeback before tagging Mandy.

That full 180 flip Mandy did to Lana was really cool. Not sure if Lana was meant to land on her left knee or flat, but I think it was supposed to injure her left knee. Beautiful.

Points to Lana for the kickout, negative points to Nattie for jumping in after the three.

I wish Dana had hit a bigger move against Natalya at the end.

The pump knee strike by Mandy was a little messy, I would’ve ended it with her other finisher instead. Good match though. Glad to see Dana and Mandy pick up some sort of momentum, especially on their Raw debut.

Also good for Lana not having to go through the table for a week *applause*

Mandy is fine on the mic. It’s not awful, it’s not super compelling; totally serviceable. Dana though... always comes off like she’s acting rehearsed lines or reading off a script.

Nice transition into the next segment. Quarter point.

Whether I like the Bianca video packages or not, it’s always a pleasure to hear her song.

LOVED the incorporation of the hurdles. That’s what I want to see, that shows me an actual challenge. I have no doubt in her strength or speed; I in fact do believe she’s the strongest and the fastest. They just aren’t showcasing that right lol. Give me something more convincing. Girl was jumping over fucking hurdles, that’s convincing.

Highlight: Dana & Mandy vs Lana & Nattie

---

NXT:

Shotzi has too long of an entrance imo.

Dakota Kai is such a spoiled little shit lmao. She’s so annoying. Big fan.

Really didn’t like Shotzi trying to do her ballpit line so early. I really wish she didn’t take so long to set it up as well.

Wow I hate that submission move Shotzi, I’m sorry. Dakota sells it like death though, so she gets a point.

Dakota’s style is way too fast for her to play a slow, methodical heel in the ring. 

A one count lmao ballsy. Love Dakota’s reaction too.

Such a fan of Dakota’s selling.

Chicken wing german suplex into a pin? That was beautiful Shotzi, I agree. Great near fall. 

A common complaint I have with women - even on the main roster - is how they go to do like a spear halfway through the ropes just to set up some counter to their move (kick, a pump kick, the rope hangup Bayley does, Charlotte shooting through the middle to roll you up) and that’s fine, but it’s always easily telegraphed. Step up please @ everyone.

oof that landing by Dakota; hit her face right on Shotzi’s knee.

What does Dakota call that kick, Scorpion or something? On the apron? Awesome stuff.

Holy shit that... flipping backdrop - (?) I don’t even know what to call that - on the apron was amazing, but holy shit Shotzi that landing was terrible. The concept is there but man you might wanna practice/modify that one a bit more.

Cool Rhea came down to fuck with Raquel, distracting Dakota, but the rollup was weak. Also weak that Rhea merely pushed Raquel into the steps once before walking back. Good match though.

Stalemate after a bunch of pin attempts with zero offense. Could live without these spots tbh.

Very close range kick, could’ve been set up far better.

Li rolls out of the ring, heel 101.

Kacy you can’t just yell at Kayden to get up lmao plz.

This is the first time I’ve seen any personality from Xia Li.

Ballsy one counts, what’s with the one counts tonight lmao.

Kacy is a bad cheerleader, just getting that out there.

I love that roll through + side kick combo Kayden does.

Whoa idk how Kayden pulled that win out of her ass, but good for her. I can see this is pushing Xia deeper into frustration every loss. Won’t complain about it, love to see Kayden win. Good, short match. A rollup works here.

Highlight: Dakota vs Shotzi

---

NXT UK:

I love Xia Brookside’s music, but not with her or her entrance.

Now Jinny’s entrance/wardrobe/demeanor matches her music.

Sure Xia Brookside’s rolls were quick, but I’m not understanding why she rolled sideways lmao it’s like Link in Zelda.

If you’re not going to add an actual crowd or monitors, get rid of the hairdryer fans. If I can’t see them, and more importantly they don’t exist, then I don’t want to hear them.

Too many wrist locks. Also refs getting involved for no logical reason, just so the heel can take advantage, is annoying. 

That back drop onto Jinny’s knee was ugly, hated the collapse. Took the impact out of it for me.

Nasty Irish Whip, points to both.

Nice flip off the hurricanrana.

Botched monkey flip. Perhaps Jinny didn’t think there was enough room for her to comfortably land; had she went for it and tucked her legs she definitely would’ve been fine. Feel like that was an amateur mistake, plenty of women would’ve just sold it with their legs getting caught up.

That was weird. Xia Brookside goes through all that trouble just to make sure she hit the monkey flip, just to lift Jinny’s head so Jinny could punch her. Weak.

Kick out was sloppy.

Xia Brookside is gassed and isn’t even doing any offense. Or selling. This match is odd. This would get booed on the MR.

Jinny stops to talk too much while wrestling. Obviously stalling. The dialogue isn’t even good for all of that noise.

Whatever. A match I could’ve lived without.

Lmao bow down? Queen of NXT UK?? Girl.... uh uh. Nah nah nah Go sit down.

Highlight: There was an Irish Whip into the corner that looked impactful

---

Smackdown:

Alexa’s pyro was better timed than last week, but it could use improvement. This is important to me damn it.

You know Alexa, my spine feels cold and my body goes numb every time I smoke my weed. Has anyone asked this girl if she’s on drugs? Could just be drugs.

Kevin/wwe, I don’t need you to tell me she’s brainwashed. WE CAN SEE that she’s brainwashed. This has been escalating for like... 2 months lmao.

The hairdryer crowd being piped in kinda ruins this. This is set up like a scene from a horror movie and the noise is taking away from it. A live crowd probably would’ve stayed silent for her, you could’ve lessened the mass effect.

Love how she just sits there watching Kevin pace around. That’s good. She’s good. Love how Kevin knew she was calling to the Fiend with that line. That’s good. This is good.

She sits there poised and unafraid, yet intrigued with him. Like his queen.

The power of this angle and the fate of it succeeding lies solely on Alexa and her selling of it. If she doesn’t sell this or believe in it, or fucks up once, it shatters the entire mystique. Man I’m a huge fan of this story rn.

Glad I didn’t bother guessing who this mysterious woman was. The glitz and glamour has got nothing compared to the moonwalking, trashtalking, Princess of Staten Island.

Love the rainbow on the polaroid camera though.

Decent enough promo but that music was awkward.

Why did y’all make Sasha just stand out there shifting her feet staring at the hard cam lol.

This is all solid Sasha but like Bayley already admitted all of this lmao.

Yes, we know you saved her title like 15 times, we ALL agree with you.

I actually like the emotion written all over Sasha’s face that comes across as ALMOST awkward.

What I don’t like about this feud: Sasha’s still an asshole, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to buy her as a babyface in like 3 weeks. She has the sympathy vote in a meta sense, sure, and I’ve been saying I want her to run SD on her own since November 2019, but that doesn’t mean she’s automatically a babyface within kf. Also annoying that they haven’t had a brawl that ends on equal footing, via interruption by officials or something. Also not sure how much I buy the character of Bayley being “too scared” to come to SD. If I could’ve gotten a quick interview by her, even if it’s her leaving the arena just as she finds out Sasha has arrived, that would’ve tied this together better.

Why she still staring at the hard cam lmao. Walk away. Leave. Make your exit. Alright whatever.

Highlight: Alexa becoming the Fiend’s queen

---

Takeover 31:

Man true, I forget Io has beat both Charlotte and Sasha this year. What a big year for her.

Love how this entire “arena” is set up, but my covid-paranoia does not approve.

Lol that one single guy trying to start a chant, goodbye.

BEAUTIFUL corrected monkey flip by Io

The attempt at the springboard by Candice was there. Could’ve been cleaner.

Good transition having Candice counter Io into a backstabber in the corner, cuz that offense was taking way too long to set up.

Commentator attributed Candice being slow in the beginning because she’s sad Johnny lost. Tired of the Garganos being tied to each other.

Why is every female heel on every brand dragging people’s eyes/face across the ropes all of the sudden?

It was not a nice move, she needs to stop doing her poor woman’s version of Natural Selection. Done.

Y’all are losing me, give Io some momentum plz.

Every single heel wants to go slow and methodical. Ridiculous. Where’s Sasha.

This was not paced well, ESPECIALLY compared to their first match. Their first didn’t breathe enough and was a sprint with not enough selling, but it was still really good. This is paced on the complete opposite spectrum. And not good.

Io has the best dropkick in the division, especially when you consider how safe her landing is for her own body’s longevity.

Totally no sold that powerbomb, Io. That’s a yikes.

Lmao Io kicked out of Candice’s springboard moonsault. Haha.

Got a meteora, 2 backstabbers, and a crossface... again, where’s Sasha???

Lmfao 2 ref bumps and a fake referee. GOD I HATE HOW WOMEN’S MATCHES ARE BOOKED THIS YEAR. The first bump didn’t even look legit.

Io took a title shot to the face yet kicked out, and y’all out here calling Becky “Cena” for kicking out of a chair shot to the midsection? Annoying.

I’m now convinced Charlotte has the best Spanish fly in the entire women’s division.

Rich having Toni do a promo directly aimed at Io, considering Toni beat her to win the MYC. Also rich how unbothered Io seemed lmao.

Ahhh the nxt women’s champion that should’ve won her title by defeating Asuka. We remember her well. Injured herself chasing the 24/7 title back when they were running the Becky/Charlotte vs Sasha/Bayley feud. Good times.

Highlight: Io’s theme song

---

*NXT shined the brightest out of all the other shows, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t give major props to specifically Alexa Bliss.

[motherlyra]

Nightmare Midnight

New Sans Days series….? Kinda??? I wanted to write some Gaster-centric fics that were still based in Sans Days, more into the future. Same rules as Sans Nights (Chapters are optionally-canon, reader’s gender will never be specified but genitalia might be mentioned with warnings if necessary, mostly just for smut or non-plot fun), tho added on I suppose Gaster is somewhat in a poly relationship with Reader and Sans. Well, not established in this chapter, but maybe future ones? Idk man, I just felt like writing the Gast-bro.

Main reason I wrote this is that I don’t do well with scary movies and nightmares, and writing this helped me get out of my jitteriness after both encounters lol. The nightmare is 100% an actual nightmare I had- and let me tell you it was The Worst. This chapter was basically self-therapy for me tbh.

Warnings: Haaaaa the nightmare is a metaphor for my life. I’m writing some seriously personal shit down so I hope you all appreciate how fucking terrifying my nightmares are. Body horror, nightmare shit. You should know the drill.

Also this might be like the first writing I've posted that doesn't have a cliffhanger. Don't get me wrong, I originally had one, but I wanted closure for myself lmao. Enjoy!

[Sans Days/Nights]

[Buy me a coffee] [Patreon]

---

“You cannot honestly still be thinking about that film.” Gaster’s voice caused you to jump slightly from the bed. You looked over, seeing him standing in the doorway to your room with a judgmental look on his face. “You barely watched ten minutes of it before giving into your fear and claiming you were too tired.”

“How- Whaaa? Nahh...” You tried to play it cool, pushing the blankets so they weren't as bunched close to your chest as you originally had them.

“The past twenty minutes I have been sitting on that couch utterly full of determination, which only happens during times of your adrenaline. I think we both know by this point the only thrill you get nowadays is by being terrified.” Gaster clarified with slight exaggeration and rolling his eye halos. You quickly motioned your hand in a lazy wave and trying to play off the very true statement he just said.

“Pssh. Yeah right. That movie didn’t scare me. It's just... taxes. And things.” You could tell by his face that he wasn't convinced. “Bills. That sort of thing. Normal humans get stressed about that sort of thing.” You continued, seeing that he was even less convinced now. He sighed and walked over to your bed, sitting down next to you but keeping his eyes to the wall.

“You are, by far, the worst liar I have ever met.” He muttered.

“If people knew you were a good liar, wouldn’t that mean you were a bad liar?” You asked, and you saw his eyebrow bone raise ever so slightly. Haha, point one for you.

“Hmm. Valid point. However, I can literally feel how quickly your heart is beating, and I highly doubt ‘taxes and things’ are the cause of that.” He glanced down at you, and you felt static at your toes. “Forgive me for not being my brother in this situation, I am sure he would be much better at comforting you than I would be. Perhaps I could visit his work for you?”

“Oh, no- of course not! He is on bad enough terms with his boss already… Really, I’m fine. You can go back to the movie, sorry I made you worried…” You sat up.

“Incorrect.”

“Huh?” You asked, blinking at his objecting, and not sure what exactly you got wrong.

“You did not make me worried, I was simply concerned about the excessive amounts of fear you were under.” He explained, and to you it sounded like what you just said but with more words. “Perhaps you would get better results for sleeping if you attempted it on the couch. I will put something else on the television for you.” Gaster stood and started walking towards the door.

“What? No it’s okay, you don’t have to-” You quickly objected, pausing when he turned back to face you with glowing haloes. White, so he wasn’t using his magic, but it was still very ominous in the darkness of the room.  

“I know I do not have to do anything you request. However, you did not request this of me, correct?” He offered, slight tilt of his head. “Living room.” He finished, gracefully turning away and walking out of your sight.

Your head spun at the confusing roundabout way Gaster seemed to care about you, and quickly slipped out of your bed and grabbed the blanket and pillow. When you got to the living room, Gaster was sitting on one side of the couch, the rest of it had been cleared. You paused, not exactly knowing how Gaster wanted you to sleep on the couch with him on it. He saw your hesitation and patted the armrest next to him.

“Papyrus told me that humans calm down when their head is being rubbed, similar to dogs, is that correct?” He asked, and you had to hold back your laughter.

“I mean…  I suppose? Last time Papyrus did it to me it really helped, but that was when Sans was… well...” You trailed off, not exactly sure if that was still a touchy subject. Gaster nodded anyway, repeating the patting motion to the armrest.

“Then rest your head here, I shall try my best to comfort despite my inexperience.” His gaze went back to the tv, and you saw that he had just some human show on with the volume low as it possibly could without it being muted, subtitles on. You felt a bit awkward about it but maybe he had a good idea. You placed the pillow on his lap and carefully crawled on, getting your head comfortable on the arm rest.

You felt the blanket adjusted to be more even on you before Gaster’s holed hand rested on top of your head, startling you ever so slightly. Gaster let out a low chuckle.

“Do not be so jumpy with me. The point of this is to calm you down.” Despite what he said, his voice still sounded slightly humored. You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, thankful that you weren’t facing him. “Go ahead and rest. No aliens from other planets will be after you tonight. I shall fend them off for you.”

You couldn’t help but to give a laugh at that. “Pft. Thanks Gaster... I really appreciate it.” You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, allowing yourself to take comfort in the slow motions Gaster’s hand made atop your head. After a little while he rested his other hand on your back, getting into a more comfortable position himself.

The quiet background noise of the tv helped keep the images of the alien from the movie out of your head, and you felt your breathing slow, and darkness accept you.

.

It is just a game.

It is just a game.

It is just a game.

You had to keep repeating that phrase to yourself as you ran in the office hallways, feeling the panic rising up inside of you. Even though you couldn’t remember how you ended up testing someone’s new Virtual Reality game they made. They didn’t tell you it was a horror game.

They didn’t tell you how realistic everything would seem.

You could see the damp mold along all of the edges of the walls, the spiderwebs that caught the flickering fluorescent lights just right, the sound of something coming from the hallways behind you. You hated it.

Trying to keep whatever was behind you as far back as physically possible, you kept running until you met another hallway intersection. Three choices laid before you, none of them ones you would ever choose in any other circumstances. The one to your left was drenched in darkness, but the bright light further down that way allowed you to see a massive lump silhouette against one of the walls, like a cocoon of some sort. The middle choice had better but still dim lighting, but you could see where the tiles have been broken up and replaced with something lumpy and fleshy, and you could see it pulse and move. The rightmost choice was a hallway that had a flickering light, allowing you to make out scratches and cracks all along it’s floor and walls.

This choice was a lot easier than some of the other hallways, at least. You gritted your teeth and ran through the right hallway, only to notice the bugs crawling out of cracks as you already started making your way down. You smacked your hands over your mouth to keep from screaming as you ran, trying to keep your eyes ahead of you.

Another intersection, another choice. You could feel whatever what was following you though their heavy footsteps, that were steadily getting closer. You stopped considering all of the choices, and settled with just going with the first option that you saw that didn’t look alive.

Left. Right. Straight. Straight. Left.

You refused to look behind you as you charged down the hallways, feeling as if the thing was just feet away from you at this point. But finally, after so many intersections, you noticed a doorway up ahead. You practically cried out of joy when you saw that, so happy to be over with this. You saw more options of doorways down the hall, but you went into the the first room you saw and reached for the door handle.

Only for your hand to grab empty air.

“Wrong choice.” A voice that you couldn’t determine if it was masculine or feminine said almost happily, and the air in the empty room went cold.

The heavy footsteps slowed down, and your breath caught in your throat as you gradually turned to face the monster for the first time.

It was not any monster from the underground.

It was Horror itself.

The entire being looked vaguely humanoid, however about three times as large and made of knotted grey flesh, composed of too many faces and not enough eyes. It was smiling without teeth in any of its mouths, and you could see movement under its skin stretch outwards, like something was trapped inside and reaching for you. It took another step forward, it’s thick feet stomping wetly to the ground at a relaxed, slow pace. It knew it won.

You brought your hands to your mouth as you screamed and backed more into the empty room, watching in terror as the only exit of the room was the one the Horror was using as an entrance.

“I want out. Let me out. I’m done. Game over. Let me out.” You screamed, grabbing at your face and trying to get ahold of the headset, only to not feel anything except yourself. It wasn’t a game. It was too real to be a game. You cried out as you tried grabbing the headset again, knowing you wouldn’t be able to escape from the Horror. You were done for.

“Calm down.” A familiar voice uttered right next to you, and you felt a warm embrace from someone much taller than you. The next moment you felt the sensation of teleporting, and the two of you dropped an inch onto damp carpet. Warm hands grabbed the sides of your face and turned you to face their owner.

“... Gaster?” You whispered, voice strained from your crying. It has been a while since you’ve seen him so serious. “What… What are you doing here? I-I-... I thought-” The floor shook under you, and you could feel the Horror running again, looking for you.

“You are in a dream.” Gaster explained, keeping his hands firm to the sides of your face, making sure you didn’t look anywhere except for at him. The words sounded strange, echoing despite nothing else echoing in the hallway. Dream… Dream…

“A… dream?” You asked, and suddenly felt very aware of everything around you, more in the moment. Your eyes widened, realizing what he said was true. “Wake me up, Gaster, please. I don’t want to be here anymore.” You started sobbing again. Gaster embraced you.

“Shh shh shh…” Gaster’s soft shushing caught you off guard, and you could feel his arms tighten around you, one hand behind your head and keeping you close. “The fact you didn’t immediately wake up at that… means we have to be clever.”

“Just wake me up, please, Gaster.” Your voice strained harder as you felt broken, wanting nothing more than to be rid of the terrible nightmare. He replied with more gentle shushing, slowly releasing you from his tight embrace. The stomping was getting closer.

“Listen to me carefully.” Gaster knelt down to eye level for you- something he has never done before. “I cannot wake you up. We need to finish the dream.” You felt more tears build up at his words, but he brought his hand up and brushed them away with his thumb, ignoring the growing stomps. “It will only come back to haunt you later if we do not finish this now. We need to defeat the nightmare.” He said slowly and clearly, and every time you tried to see past him he would gently bring your attention to him.

“We can’t. Did you see that thing? Its…. its…” You tried explaining, but Gaster only smiled.

“Just a dream.” He finished the sentence for you, slowly standing up and turning to face the hallway. He kept one hand behind him as if to keep you back, and waited.

A silent moment passed. Then another.

Part of the hallway exploded into bits as the Horror crashed into the corner, turning directions too quickly, and quickly righted itself and charged at you. It’s flesh rolled within itself as it stomped closer, making indescribable sounds as it moved. Gaster’s hand swung up and darkness tangled with its feet, tripping it up for just a second before orange lights slashed through the air- cutting the Horror into large pieces that toppled to the ground, no blood to be seen.

Gaster slowly lowered his extended hand back to his side, paused for a moment, before turning back to you with a smile. “See? No big deal.” He knelt down in front of you again. “You do not need to be afraid of monsters when you are surrounded by them.” He said, though most of what he was saying passed right by you as you watched the grey flesh from behind him float up and start stacking on top of the other parts.

“Hhhh… Hhhh….Haaaaahhhhhh…..” You were breathing too hard to form any words, and your legs refused to follow your commands to run. Gaster’s smile dropped when he saw your expression, and turned just in time to react to a fist slamming down to where he was a moment ago.

You would have noted he had extraordinary reflexes, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was now pulling you this way and that, avoiding the attacks of the Horror by inches at a time. He quickly wrapped his arms around you again and once again you two teleported.

Back into the empty room. The stomping starting up again.

You couldn’t take it. You collapsed onto the ground, sobbing into your hands. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…” You could feel Gaster’s eyes on you, but you continued with your apology. “I took too long making choices, I kept going safe, I kept choosing comfortable routes and I took too long- if I was faster- if I just went through those stupid ugly halls I could have had more time- time to look at the fucking doors and choose the right room and- and- and- and-”

“...Are you really going through all of that on your own?” Gaster’s quiet voice stopped your thoughts in their place. You looked up at him with your puffy face, seeing him standing with an emotion you couldn’t quite place. His eyes were trained on you, the halos seemed dull.

“What?” You asked, only to feel the stomping getting closer. You couldn’t help but feel the terror tightening around your heart, and you let out another choked sob. Gaster sat down in front of you and placed his hands on the sides of your face again, this time his brow bones slightly lowered.

“You have been feeling this trapped for this long?” He asked, you didn’t understand. “Do you weigh all of your choices so heavily that you think in the end, you think they will be life or death for you?” He seemed so concerned for you… but you couldn’t figure out what he was getting at. Seeing your confusion, he took a breath and tried again. He quietly said your name, softening his hold on you. “Let us start over. How did you end up here?”

“...Here?” The stomping echoed around the room. “Someone… offered me a game. Then I was trapped- I had no choice but to run and try to get away… but I made the wrong choices and now it’s coming for us because I failed-” Your words were quickly running together as your panic rose, and Gaster placed a finger over your lips.

“It is rigged.”

The words caused time to freeze, and you stared wide-eyed at Gaster. He continued. “The game is rigged. There are no right choices, no happy endings. It is a game that is predetermined to make you suffer, before giving you dissatisfaction. You were trapped in here thinking that there was a way to survive, when there is none.” Each word felt like a punch to the gut as the helplessness set into your bones.

“There are no happy endings…?” You repeated, voice still shaking.

“None. The people that made the game lied about those to trick you into playing it.” He nodded, eyebrow bones lowered. “They wanted you to play for their enjoyment, not yours. Now, is that fair?”

You felt your breath strained as you looked down, thoughts hanging up on the no happy endings. No happy endings. No happy endings. “No… That isn’t fair at all.” You said quietly, feeling the pressure of defeat pressing all around you.

“Then you should not play fair yourself.”

Time became normal again, and you felt the floor shaking as the Horror was closing the distance to you two. Gaster quickly stood up and offered a hand to you. “I know you dislike using Console Commands, but I do think the game needs them this time to be playable.”

You accepted his hand and he pulled you up, only for the Horror to appear in your view behind him in the doorway. You felt the fear tug you backwards again, but Gaster kept a tight grip on your hand, and stepped behind you, giving you a clear view of the Horror and all its grotesqueness.

“Here. I am here to help.” Gaster motioned with his free hand, and a keyboard made of orange light appeared in front of you. The Horror stepped forward, slowly again, thinking it won once more. It just needed a few more steps and it would crush the two of you. “Go on. Show the creators what happens when they make a rigged game.” He urged you to the keyboard.

The Horror took another step forward, and you finally reached for the keyboard and pressed the [~] key. The world shimmered before you, growing slightly brighter, and more of the texture seams became visible. Your fear was still thick in your blood as the Horror took another step closer, but you quickly typed a command onto the keyboard and raised two fingers at the Horror, pressing enter and speaking the command.

“Kill.”

The Horror exploded into dust, turning into bright light before vanishing completely. You felt a smile on your face for the first time since the dream started. Your smile grew slightly as you looked at your hands, wondering what else you could do with the Console Commands while you were here. You quickly typed [tg] and tapped the enter button, and grass immediately grew through the tiled ground. You felt yourself giggle and you found yourself typing one string of commands after another, some that you weren’t even sure if they were real commands, but they all seemed to have an effect on the dream you were in.

You took away ceilings, then walls, then toggled the sun on. Gravity was lowered, and all enemies were removed from area- just for good measure. It was just you and Gaster, in a beautiful valley full of grass in broad daylight. You jumped and turned to face him, and he instinctively grabbed your hand to keep you from floating up too far. You used his hand to pull yourself closer to him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“... Thank you.” You whispered, and it took a moment before Gaster embraced you back.

“I told you I would help fend off any aliens after you tonight.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“I don’t think that was an alien though…”

“It sure was not based off of the alien from the movie, I could tell that much, but I will warn you that I will be insulted if you simply classify that creature as a monster.” Gaster lightly threatened, and you huffed part of a laugh.

“I mean- sure, okay it was an alien. Thank you anyway, Gaster.” You smiled, not able to thank him enough for getting you out of that nightmare. “... How are you here, by the way?” You looked up at him, slowly coming to the conclusion that this was actually Gaster, not just your dream version of him.

“I have a wide range of abilities, including one that allows me to haunt the subconsciousness of others.” He said, keeping his eye halos to the horizon. “When I noticed you having a nightmare, I only meant to observe what it was about- I never intended to get involved.”

“So why did you save me?” You asked, and you could tell he was purposely avoiding looking at you. He was silent for a moment, seeming to choose his words carefully.

“I needed to keep my word, that is all.” He settled with, letting go of the hug. You watched him as he kept his head turned away, and give him a light punch. That startled him and he looked down at you.

“Daw, you care about me.” You smiled, and he tried to mask his face with unamusement, though you could see though it. He raised a finger as if he was going to tell you that you were wrong again.

“Correct.” He smiled at your shock at him actually admitting it, seeming to hold back his own laugh. “Though I must admit, I did not do as much as you think I did. I just bought you time to take control of your own dream.” He looked down and brushed his foot through the lush grass.

“What do you mean? You gave me the keyboard.” You bounced slightly, enjoying the low gravity. He watched you, entertained at your lazy floating.

“I gave you the illusion of a keyboard. Nothing but a light show.” He held out his hands, and more orange lights danced between them. “You believed in it, and willed your actions to change your dream. Think of it as… Kickstarting lucid dreaming.” He offered simply, a rather out of character thing for him to do.

“Huh. Well, thank you for that.” You smiled, tapping a finger on your cheek as you gently bounced on one foot. “Would you do me one more favor, since we are here?”

He nodded, seeming to expect you wanting something more of him. “What is your request?”

“Catch me!” You cheered, leaping up into the air and gradually floating backwards.

You heard Gaster’s breath catch and he jumped after you, expertly catching you in a bridal position mid air. After a moment, the two of you gracefully landed onto the soft grass, and you saw Gaster looking at you as you were having giggling fits. You could see him trying to mask a smile on his face as he sighed and shook his head. “So, now what?” You asked between your giggles. He considered a moment before bringing his mouth close to your ear.

“I think it is time to wake up.”

You felt your leg jerk, and your vision spun for a moment before you realized you were still in the living room. The tv was quiet, and the room had long gone cold. You noticed you were still perfectly warm however, as you felt Gaster’s arms were wrapped tightly around you, a hand placed on the back of your neck, keeping you close to his chest. His grip loosened, and he looked down at you with his bright haloed eyes.

“No more nightmares without me, alright?��� He asked.

You nodded.

[booknerd405]

The answer to the Shakespeare asks cuz I’m an idiot (love u Kate)

@themeltedheadaches i blame this on the tumblr mobile app but here ya go <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 (your answers were amazing btw aahhhhh)

Antony: What bad habits do you need to break?

cracking my back, procrastinating, thinking all my friends secretly hate me...

Beatrice: What is the achievement you’re most proud of?

tbh this is kinda embarrassing (esp. since i had to audition like 2 months late cuz i chickened out originally) but joining symphony and not being completely terrible at it cuz music has always been a super private thing for me and playing any instrument at all in front of/with a group of people who are judging me hardcore is v not like me at all so yeah.

Benvolio: What comes to mind when you think of peace?

reading a book for so long in my bed that i get super cold even in the middle of August, my stuffed animal, watching TV with my entire family stuffed onto that poor red couch we’ve had since i was born, (really any time i can sit and do nothing with someone i care about and it isn’t awkward), waking up to find my dog curled up against my butt

Bianca: What do you want most in life?

To be happy with my life and my choices. I don’t want to be near the end of my life and start regretting all the things i didn’t do or try because i was too scared of failure. to be able to look back and say that I truly lived.

Celia: Do you want to fall in love?

i’m assuming this means romantically, so the answer is yes. i felt a bit foolish aka my ego was highkey bruised after sophomore year but it was worth it. in a broader sense, i’m already in love with so many things and people, i fall in love with something or someone as often as i can. Today i fell in love with how strong the smell of spring hit so suddenly in back yard this year.

Circe: Would you rather be loved or feared?

...why not both??

Claudius: What is the worst thing you’ve ever done?

my mind immediately jumps to every time i was a bitch or rude or plain mean to someone in elementary school who just wanted a friend or to fit in. i know i was young and supposedly didn’t know any better but i’d been on the other end before and i hate that i contributed to someone else in the world feeling the same way i did

Cordelia: Do you consider yourself a good person?

i would say that I try my hardest

Cressida: What makes you feel trapped?

my laziness, feeling like i should be doing more with my day but not having the energy or willpower to even get up

Desdemona: Do you believe that the truth will set you free?

i’d rather be told the truth than a lie, but I think a person’s response to the truth will determine whether they’re set free

Edgar: Do you want to make your family proud?

Always, the worst days in my life are the days where i feel like i’ve disappointed my parents

Edmund: Do you ever wish you’d been born someone else? If so, who?

No

Gertrude: Would you (or have you) ever cheated on a significant other?

Definitely not.

Hamlet: Do you prefer to think things through thoroughly or act on impulse?

oh god i think things through so goddamn much i’m practically hamlet himself, can’t get any shit done

Hecate: Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

Definitely an introvert (dorming is gonna be HELL)

Helenus: Do you believe in God?

I’d like to but i just don’t

Hippolyta: What is your biggest regret?

not doing any art classes in high school until i absolutely had to. i wouldve met so many more people and symphony this year has just been the perfect break in the middle of the day that i never knew i needed.

Horatio: Who do you love most?

My family, especially my dad. i don’t know if id be even half as successful or happy in my life if it wasn’t for him. our 3 am walks in a random campground, going into his engineering workplace since i was 5, the number of times he made me cry by doing something silly like trying to teach me how negative numbers worked when i was 6. also my friends, i tend to only have 1 really close friend at a time that i love the most and she (hopefully) knows who she is

Juliet: What is your favorite luxury?

chocolate, french fries and ketchup, parents who are too good to me, fountain pens that i keep accidentally ruining cuz i keep messing with them

Lady Macbeth: What is your favorite thing about yourself?

physically, probably my eyes or my hair, though both have had their bad days. (also the mole on my hip but that’s not there anymore no i’m not salty) mentally idk i hate and love practically everything else about me in equal measure

Macbeth: Have you ever killed anyone? Would you?

No and i really don’t think so

Malcolm: What does honor mean to you?

being able to take failure in stride and learn from it, trying, being active and engaged in what you choose to do with your time, taking in others into consideration with your actions

Medea: Do you have any quirks?

I bounce like hell when I walk but i also look so angry that i’m bout to kill someone...so pls don’t look at me while i walk its embarrassing, i usually don’t use a pillow when i sleep

Mercutio: Is there anyone you would die for?

I’d like to be able to answer my friends and family but truthfully i don’t know if i could ever be that brave

Miranda: Is happiness a choice?

I think most of the time it is, but not always

Oberon: Does reputation matter to you?

i think it used to?? but now idk i feel like ppl can think whatever the hell they want of me & the ppl that matter will know the truth and won’t care about my reputation. tho i suppose it does kinda matter to me because having a bad reputation shuts down a lot of opportunities in life

Ophelia: Is there anything you regret not doing?

i feel like i already answered this...

Orsino: If you could have any material thing in the world, what would it be?

literally every fountain pen ever (this answer will probably change in a few months/years)

Paris: If you had the chance to rule the world, would you?

HAHAHAHAHAHAH nope nope no fucking way no thank you no siree no ma’am

Portia: When did you lose your innocence?

idk man my parents let me watch Police Academy when i was like 4 years old and i had a fucked up imagination for as long as i can remember i don’t think i ever had my full innocence

Puck: Do you consider yourself a mischievous person?

;) no (that means yes!)

Romeo: How far would you go for love?

too damn far, i don’t actually like how far i’ll go for love

Rosalind: What does your ideal day entail?

waking up early (but not so early that i’m super tired) and staying in bed doing nothing (preferably cuddling with someone) until later when my dog will start crying at me to get up, then spending some time at a park with friends doing stupid things and making stupid jokes and eating cake and chocolate, then going home and watching a movie with my family and my dad makes us all cheeseburgers, ending the day by taking a bath with a bath bomb that doesn’t have fucking glitter in it then accidentally falling asleep while rereading one of my favorite books

Rosaline: Which people from your past haunt you?

i try not to let my past effect me so much but probably Catherine still does. I thought we were the perfect friends that would be together forever but it turned out she had hated me for so many years, had been blaming me in part for her self harm. its so hard to trust when a someone says that they enjoy being my friend because i believed her and i was so so wrong and what if i’m making the same mistakes again and ppl think i’m trying to show myself up thinking i’m a terrible person that they actually hate

Sebastian: Is violence ever the answer?

No.

Titania: Do you believe in magic?

If you ask me during the day, no

Ask me at night, when i’m driving alone or outside under the stars... :)

Tybalt: If you could kill one person without consequences, who would it be?

No one

Viola: How skilled of a liar are you?

Sometimes I think i’m an okay liar but probably i’m terrible and my mom was just pretending to know I wasn’t hanging out with 79 to humor me

Volumnia: Describe the biggest sacrifice you’ve made.

i sacrificed an hour of sleep a few days in a row earlier this week to practice playing the auxiliary percussion in pilatus during concert band

[joisapig]

Looking Back and Moving Forward

With the new year resolution made, my life was back on track. So much freedom and happiness in me and I feel like the luckiest woman on earth to have so many close and loved ones supporting me.

¾ of 2016 had been rough from the beginning till after the break up. However, it was also a relief that I got myself out of that shit hole which I kept falling back in the last quarter. It wasn’t easy, and I wouldn’t say I was proud of myself either but I managed to get out of it.

And was I glad I did.

I become the person I am and do things I want to. The experiences were amazing and they filled me to the fullest.

Right after the rough stint, I went to Malacca with my brother and his family in mid Aug. They welcomed me with open arms and the “self-pitiful” me went along and was pulling a long face the whole three days because I was supposedly heart-broken. However, having family around is the best thing ever. They left you alone to your moods but still tried to be there at the same time. For that, I’m grateful.

Estelle invited me to try pole dance with her. At first I was skeptical, I ain’t got no dancing bones in me! Been there, done that! 4 years in modern dance in secondary school. And I still feel stiff as fuck. I suspect it could be my shoulders know. Like cmon, relax man~ But, I still went for it. I joined kfit. What’s there to lose? Nothing. I needed to keep fit anyway. Tried many studios, tbh it was fucking fun. I’ve always love doing new things, more of like challenging myself. Imagine hanging on the pole and doing some awesome tricks but still looking graceful. Well, I can try that, cant I? But, I was err “shy” or should I say lazy? And this is what Estelle told me, “I’m going US the next month and you should really go for classes yourself instead of only when with me. Because this will then prove that you genuinely like it and you aren’t going because I am.” Woah. What?! That was a given challenge. Hey woman, I love it so I’m gonna show you that I really do. And that’s when I did. Went for pole classes myself, made new friends and brought friends in. Fun as fuck. And Estelle returned from US amused and proud of my improvements.

Phuket in Sept was next with liyuan for 5D4N. It was amazing. I said I want to surf and she went right along with me. That was fun and I absolutely enjoyed myself that we went again! It was liberating to do things for myself. I had time. Time for myself which was lost when I didn’t know how to manage.

Then Bangkok in Oct was next with lovely Huiyi and Zhimin. Huiyi’s mentor tagged along and I must say I was a little sad that they didn’t have anything going on. I really wish for her to have someone who’s not him in her life instead. Then there will be future ahead. But Bangkok was fun. I shopped so much! Bought stuff for myself too! I was happpppy!

And in the very same month, I got a surprise from my manager that I’ve got a salary adjustment for my work. It was great news because I felt at least now I’m earning the “right” amount in comparison to others in the society. I love my job. I love IT. And to be recognized for my effort was encouraging because this is a company which values its people. I’m blessed.

In Nov, I’ve decided to join an all girls’ darts league. It was a great decision made. Tiring as it was, I got to meet many people and gained league experiences. It was challenging and for the first few games, I was nervous. I always wish that I can focus. It’s like I am a 3 minutes person. Ooo, I love this, I’m gonna do this and excel in it. Then, I lose focus and it’s gone. But this league, it keeps me going. I didn’t have a choice. It was a commitment. And because I have teammates which I don’t want to “let down”, I practice. And when you practice, you improve. And it is still fun to me. When you hit the bulls and triples, the sounds coming from the dart board exhilarate me.

Yixuan broke up in Dec. She said I seem so happy and doing things that I like which made her see why her relationship wasn’t working out. I don’t know how her relationship was. But I have always felt that relationships starting out since secondary schools or junior colleges lasting till now seems to be like couples only having each other. This is what I see from social media which I could be wrong but the couples are usually hanging out with only each other. And that isn’t healthy I suppose. Sometimes, we need friends around us too. But of course, always set your priorities right. I’m really glad for her though. Super glad. Not the break up but her changes. She is so much happier now and amazing. She was the matured one in our clique. Now there’s this wild side of her appearing and full of life. Spontaneous but hopefully, still able to keep herself safe.

So past 2016 after the break up, I told myself that I would stay single for a year but I have friends telling me there’s no such thing. When love comes, it comes.

Even though I said I would be single, I did go dating around. I was just thinking like hey you know what, I have to meet people. Meeting people is interesting. You get to read them, find out what you like or dislike. I know I don’t have to meet guys and I don’t need any more new friends, but I would wanna know what’s good for me too. I’ve always wanted to settle down but I find out that hey, it doesn’t work that way. You don’t want to settle down then you meet anyone and that could be the person for you. No. Because you don’t settle. I want to meet the person who makes me want to settle down with. The idea is different now.

Truth be told, I’ve probably met about 7 new persons from tinder. None matters of course. But sometimes, the funny thing in life comes least expected. Met up with Chelsea and the rest as usual to have meal in HV and we were just talking about life when she teased me about liking Indians and wanting to intro her friend to me. I was like nah, not interested luh. I don’t like Indians specifically but I like nice people. And liking nice people don’t mean I have a thing for anyone. So after the meal here and there, apparently there was a plan to go clubbing and her Indian friend was going along. And that’s when I met him.

Okay, cute. Okay, tall. Hello beer belly. Hello smokes. Eek. Nopes! Haha! So I formed these in my head. But he suddenly became fucking cute to me that night in the wee morning which must be due to the alcohol. Entwined his fingers around mine to lead me in the club was interesting as I dont usually do that with strangers. But then again, my clubbing experiences could be counted with two hands back then. Haha.

Whatever it is, somehow, he texted me the following evening and we began texting everyday. I would say our texts were purely friends. Just talking and I didn’t read much in them which of course I shouldn’t. He seemed nice but I didn’t feel that we had a lot to talk about because we were only getting to know each other. But when we started to self disclose in our meetings, it felt different like in a nice way.

And in someway, he slowly grew on me like a constant. I can tell him anything and I don’t have to worry what fucks he thinks about me. I can be me and I am me. I feel comfortable around him and it was nice yet scary at the same time. I don’t know what the fuck I was getting myself into. I really don’t want history to repeat itself and so I really have to protect myself. I am cool headed. I have to be. I was a diver. Not literally. But someone who falls head over heels over a human quickly and stays devoted when there is supposedly chemistry or sparks. I can’t be that person anymore. This time, I need to be in control of myself.

He told me he likes me and asked me to go The Canopi with him but I was afraid. I don’t want to get hurt again in any way know. And somehow, when he mentioned Taiwan (I love Taiwan), I thought hey that seems fine.

Side track (so me!), I went to Bangkok with my family and friends in early Jan. Months filled with travels make me happy. All the exciting line ups. I feel like a free bird. Oh and I joined a new mixed darts league too as the previous one ended. This bunch of new people is just as fun and lovely!

Anyway back to Taiwan, I went there with him this Feb. It kinda changed things. We grew even closer and I would say we had fun together. Good fun. And I really enjoyed his company. He’s respectful and have amazing self-control there. Thumbs up gentleman. And Kenting was fucking amazing. Especially that one full day we had where we e-scootered the area and ended the night off with the perfect suggestion from him to look at stars together on the beach in the night. I’ve always wanted to do stuff like that and I get to with him. Seems like our travel plans just worked out and flowed when we are together. For now I would say as it is just the beginning. I daren’t look into the future just as yet.

A week plus after Taiwan, we had our first fight kinda too and he just bolted. It felt like when things got bad, the supposedly close person to you would leave. It felt like people only stay when time is good. That feeling sucks big time but we did get to know one another a little more than before. I could have just fucked it and moved on with life initially but me being me, I needed answers and clear cut ones too so I messaged him first. Felt like a loser but as usual I wanted closure. What was the point of closure though when someone doesn’t want me already and yet I kept questioning why. No means no, simple as that. But if he bolts again, I don’t think I want to deal with it because it hurts I hope I am firmer and stronger now than before.

Anyway we had our first staycation together on 25 March. It was the best stay I ever had. I felt so at ease with him just being me. Saying shit and doing silly things with him knowing that he will not view me indifferently after. It was liberating and exciting much. Lovely meal at TheLab. He picks good meal choices yet he doesn’t know. Heh. And all he talks about was McSpicy, no lettuce add cheese only. Teehee. And jacuzzi was awesome. There were lights and he filled the jacuzzi up with bath salts and shower gel. So many bubbles and so foamy! We drank and danced a little. His dance moves are so frigging adorable. Haha!! I love it when he seems so carefree and happy. Okay fine, he drank a lot more than me. Ha!

Oh and when he winks with one side of his lips inching upwards, that is fucking hot and cute. There’s this cheeky kid in him that makes me smiles and I just want to squish him so bad. Those big eyes staring into mine. I can lose myself in his eyes all day and night.

Mid March was Hongkong trip with my JC clique. So blessed to be able to hang with them the 9 years of friendship and still counting. That aside, all I can say was boy am I glad someone didn’t show up due to work. Because by then, I only want to be seeing him and none other.

Oh and I’m rubbing my feet now too. So smoooth.