#feels a bit surreal too

[bigboobshaunt]

Just finished Mass Effect...!

[spiralshells]

You were not meant to see the mess inside

[kurooscopy]

a little birdie died in my hands this morning :((

[mysticum-draconis]

Well, look at that, I’ve actually posted something! I joined Tumblr in May 2023, so this post is way overdue 😂

A first post is important in my opinion, so I had to think of something good to draw. A dragon seemed appropriate, as I always tend to use them in my usernames.

The reason it took so long for me to post something, is because it took me a long time to actually start this drawing and even longer to finish it (started in October 2023, finished yesterday!)

2B and HB graphite on 160gsm paper ✍️

WIP pics under cut.

Please don’t post on other websites without credit or permission, thanks 🙏

[sirenemale]

Sorry to retype the exact same thoughts about Luna My Little Pony for the hundreth time but I'm not normal here.

I'm finishing off the last season and seeing another episode where Celestia and Luna fight in the exact same way is making me think about it even more.

Luna associated with the moon is seen as scary because she brings night time on and is seen in nightmares, and is also so so autistic coded to me vs Celestia who is revered for raising the sun and the safer daytime. Their conflicts always boil down to Celestia trivializing Luna's emotions, hobbies or job and then Luna retaliating because both to her sister and to the public, she isn't viewed the Same. And their fights are always wrapped up with them agreeing they were both wrong but I just literally cannot buy that, Luna strikes such a specific nerve with me so I'm biased but the way the story skips over the kinda tangle of emotional pain going on with her makes me feel dizzy.

Nightmare Moon emerges as a hyper destructive version of Luna's negative emotions. One big meltdown after years of subtle mistreatment. The story frames Nightmare Moon as a malevolent corrupting force that feeds off Luna's emotions, but to me I see that as a way for Celestia to keep the image of her quiet baby sister intact. My younger sister isn't capable of these emotions, sure we had bad days, but she's nothing like this, she has no reason to be so displeased. Again feels neurodivergent feels like masking and being Well behaved vs slipping. Nightmare Moon then is an aspect of Luna that Celestia is trying to ignore, and her method for that is locking her in the moon for hundreds of years, isolated for the greater good, for the safety of everyone and lamenting the loss of her dear sweet sister who's been replaced by a Monster. One that becomes a scary forewarning for children everywhere.

Even when Luna comes back, Nightmare Moon is still used for scary stories and halloween party games. No one let's her forget this, the root of her breakdown isn't addressed and it can never be addressed because now she's forever associated with a monstrous version of her own pain forever. They're not her feelings that's been taken away from her, her emotions are defined by how detrimental they are to others and more importantly her sister. They're always waiting for the moment she turns back into her, most of her episodes are about her turning back into her. The fact Luna's duty is to stay up all night patrolling the nightmares of ponies because she's scared Nightmare Moon will take over her again if she Rests or lets herself forget that happened. This actual legitimate guilt and self harm spiral she locks herself in, the fact some of these nightmares Have to involve seeing even more distorted versions of her, the ways Other ponies see her? Thinking that even if they like her, as Luna, even if they stop seeing Nightmare Moon, Nightmare Moon is also You. How much can you compartmentalize. How can you figure out if you're Good or not when this is how you live. And everyday you wake up and you see your sister and you hold your tongue. When you fight with her over things like her thinking your hobbies are boring, that you're lucky to not have any Real work to do, No reason to be tired. All these ideas of the most surface level qualities of you that she doesn't like. And the only option is to concede?

That's crazy. That's crazy crazy crazy.

[pffbts]

Well, it's one of those midnight where I stay awake, blinding my eyes with some contents of the phone that content me, comfort me. And I happened to stumble across your works, no scratch that, they aren't mere works anymore. Im not here to disturb you or distract you. I'm well aware of the goodbye that you bid to us. But...I don't know, I feel so connected with your words? Connected with the way you wrote? I know I'm blabbering, but I don't know, something in me said that I should definitely write this for you. I'm just thankful for whatever you left here for us, im thankful that I found you, your blog. Something about your whole blog is delicate, comforting, welcoming. And I happened to need that to fill my heart with some sort of reassurance even though I have this accompanied bittersweet feeling. I'm just truly, truly, grateful for the miracles you wrote. I was honestly crying, it made me feel better. I don't know how to evince this huge reverence I suddenly got over you.

But I'm just, thankful. So,so, thankful.

(this is a long reply, i'm extremely sorry)

“I don’t know how to evince this huge reverence I suddenly got over you.”

at 8 in the morning when you wake up, after the glaring indian sun hits your face and you read such words woven together into such a string of emotions, to be fair, what did i even expect to feel other than bittersweet happiness and a bit flabbergasted?

i wish there were words more meaningful than the boring ‘thank you(s)' because truly, you’ve left me speechless. all i can say is that my imperfect heart receives your praises and thoughts with all the warmth in the world and i hope even the lil bit of that warmth traverses through all the time zones that divide us against our wishes and gives you strength to carry on with your life, @tannedami.

regardless of my absence, i still want my blog to be one of the many corners for a breath of relief for all of you. this was once my escape, i'm grateful that the place i escaped to, a home i built amidst all my griefs became a shade under which you all take a breather from the glaring sun that represents each and every one of your lives.

it was the sole reason i left my blog untouched. i deleted not a single one of my letters or fics. i kept them all, even the unfinished and imperfect ones. my only hope was that in my farewell in every sense, a piece of me will always stay on the internet to give you all solace. in a world that flows parallel to yours, mine and all of the others, i hope my words move close to your home just to feel the air that surrounds you. in that world, my words carry all your griefs and your shortcomings like wearing rings that have all of your's names engraved on the insides.

[ID: “Even without knowing each other’s stories, we create moments of love that bridge the gap.”]

thank you for making me remembered as someone whom you pass by once in a while when you’re walking back home and that will always be enough.

this ask of yours reminded me a lot of some of those memorable asks from the past in this blog. an anon once wanted to write down the 2-part dad!hobi fic i wrote once as requested by them (tbh i found it a bit silly but at the same time quite endearing), another once sent me a dm about how they have screenshotted a letter they requested once during my talk to bangtan requests and now or then they would go back and read it for comfort. i also remember someone a year or two ago said how i almost saved their life during a low moment of their life and i still cannot for the life of me comprehend all these affections that i once and still now get from readers like you who take strolls through my little humble blog. you all should know that as much as you guys tell me how much i comfort you, these words from you all give me the strength to push the stubborn boulders that stand in my wretched life's road and keep walking on. life will keep happening and i will fight on as much as i can. i might always still wish i didn’t stay to see the new morning of the next day, but i want to keep myself going till there’s nothing left of me.

and, you and everyone must do the same. you have to. after all, there must be a reason why we were born into this damned world, right? even in passing, we must live a little in the minds of humans around us (and if you are lucky enough to have a pet, your existence is a miracle to them. trust me.)

i don’t know much about the reverence you talk about, Ami, perhaps it’s simply your emotions that has been catalyzed by my works. but really, i don’t feel myself to be deserving of any of it (this is my self-conscious, self-loathing persona talking, don’t mind her). i wish you a healthy life above anything. happiness will come and go but life will keep going on in various different shapes. we simply have to fit in. so be well because you will need a lot of strength for that, Ami.

sending all my love.

―K

[kath-artic]

guys.

[deuynndoodles]

UR GETTING TOP SURGERY IN A WEEK!?!?@?,$?% CONGRATULATIONS WTF

YEAH ITS KINDA INSANE MAN ty so much!!!

[austerulous]

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Bout to sit down to watch DW with the folks already internally cringing bc I saw it this morning and they are gonna haaate it

[cupiare]

what it feels like when staff and students at work come to me saying “i heard ur the one who knows everything and can help me” Thats nice considering i’m forced to leave in 2 weeks .. ❤️

[marsixm]

my main criticism of barbie is that i just wish the very direct stuff said by america ferreras character didnt feel like them reading off a buzzfeed feminism 101 blog post then going “see look we did the thing” like yes keep the sentiment in there and even the specific quotes i just think it could have been written/integrated in the script in a way that felt more diegetic

[marinerainbow]

OMG! I was scrolling through older parts of my blog and look what just found!!

This is like, one of our first interactions! XD Wierdddd..

I realised I didn't respond to you asking if I consider you my friend! Yes I consider you a friend, haha XDD

Anyway, just wanted to share that with you 😆😆 Hope you enjoy the rest of your day! ^^

Oh wow! I didn't know you could go that far! XD if I tried, I'd be scrolling for the whole day at least XD

I'm happy you consider me your friend ^^ I consider you mine too. I'm glad we got to meet and start talking 🩷🩷🩷

I hope your day was good too!

[chiara-klara-claire]

Went to Amsterdam yesterday and picked these two thrift books 🇳🇱🇱🇹🇱🇻🇪🇪 hou van jou A’dam.

[hibiscusandmilktea]

They named a lower classification of bees after the phrase bazinga, also they look like hummingbirds kind of??

They also named an asteroid after Sheldon ( 246247 Sheldoncooper (2007 SP14) )

Here's some information about it if you'd like to look at it

[oh-hools]

can't sleep