#feeling so much rage and anger and i cant even do anything about it!

[oneflydude]

season seven is making me feel so much rage

[ravenromanova]

I fucking hate you

Parings: Bucky x Female avenger reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Mean Bucky (only for a little). SMUTTTTT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+! Daddy kink, Metal arm kink, Praise kink, Hate fucking, Breeding kink, Unprotected sex, Oral (m and f), Fingering. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE

Summary: When you and Bucky are forced to have a therapy session after a mission gone wrong you two find another way to let the anger out.

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The sound of the clock ticking mixed with a pen tapping against a notebook drives you insane as you stare at the wall. It’s been thirty minutes of silence with neither you or Bucky daring to speak first. In your eyes this session was pointless. He was the one who fucked up the mission and yet youre paying for it by having a therapy session with him.

The mission was a simple intel mission… or it should’ve been until Bucky went off the rails and got the both of you captured. Luckily you were able to get yourselves freed before anything bad happened. But nevertheless you were told by Fury and Maria that you two needed to fix the issues between you. Honestly you didn’t hate Bucky as much as you led on but he could be such an insufferable asshole sometimes.

He would constantly pick on you like a small child, belittle your powers and abilities, and not to mention he would constantly ditch you during missions. So since he wanted to be an asshole you decided that being a petty bitch would get him to stop… You were very wrong and that just seemed to make it worse for you.

All in all you were completely infatuated with the super soldier but it was clear he had no interest in you. So you kept up the petty bitch act and that just meant the two of you were constantly at war with one another.

“This is a waste of time, It wasnt even my fault the mission got fucked up so im not even sure why im here.” You state crossing your arms looking at Dr.Raynor.

“The reason youre here y/n is so you and James can work through whatever it is going on in hopes that you two start getting along” The older woman says with a slight shake to her head.

“I wouldn’t have a problem with him if he wasnt such a dick” Your words made Bucky whip his head to look at you with a scowl on his face.

“Oh im the asshole? What about you huh? You’re a fucking pest and not to mention the weakest one on the team” He scoffed looking back at raynor.

“THE WEAKEST ONE? The only thing special about you came from a fucking test tube” You retort feeling yourself about to explode from rage.

“Oh so that’s how we are gonna play this?” He asked cocking his head to the side with a smug smile.

“You act like youre tough shit when in all reality take off the arm and take away the serum then what are you? A amputee with a military background.. You aren’t that special” Your words hit a part of him he didn’t know existed anymore.

“Okay enough you two!” Dr.Raynor said before Bucky had the chance to respond. “This is ridiculous! Throwing insults back and forth wont help whatever is going on between you two” She continued and you and Bucky huffed.

“It definitely makes me feel better knowing miss priss over here gets knocked down a few pegs” He mumbles under his breath.

“Okay that’s it! I’m fucking done. I cant do this shit anymore. You wanna hate me? fine. Guess what? I fucking hate you too” You said standing up abruptly and slamming the door as you exit the room.

Bucky and Dr.Raynor both looked at each other and sighed. “Why cant you just be honest with her?” She asked him making him roll his eyes.

“I dont know what youre talking about” He shakes his head making the older woman groan.

“Dont play dumb James. We both know how you feel about y/n you are just to chicken shit to tell her” She retorts raising her eyebrows at the solider.

“You’re a terrible therapist” He retorts shaking his head at her comment. Yes Bucky was madly in love with you but he didn’t think you’d feel the same after his past and how he’s treated you.

Ever since Bucky had come back from being blipped he found it difficult to readjust to life yet again. So he did what he always did he threw himself into his work. Avenging became the only thing he did day in and day out. He had met you during a meeting when you were introduced as the newest Avenger. You were all bright and bubbly towards everyone even him.

Naturally he avoided you not wanting to taint the sunshine that shined from within. But despite him being a dick to you, you still smiled at him during training, said good morning whenever you saw him in the mornings. You were just always sweet to him for some reason even though he had never shown you kindness. Well that was until six months ago when one day you were just as bitchy to him as he was you.

For some reason that hurt Bucky more than he thought possible. He didn’t think he would miss your sunshiny attitude until it was gone. The two of you started fighting amend arguing over everything for the past six months. The entire team was annoyed by the sudden escalation in you and Bucky’s relationship. Normally he would just be cold to you and that was it. But now you’ve started fighting back which was a surprise to everyone since you were normally so quiet. Bucky missed the ray of sunshine you used to be but he also didn’t want to taint you with his presence.

But nevertheless Bucky kept up his whole thing of messing with you and you started being bitchy right back, which was why the two of you were forced into therapy together.

“Go tell her how you feel James, That’s youre homework for the week” Dr.Raynor said breaking Bucky out of his thoughts.

“And if i dont?” He pushed tilting his head. The woman looked at him then sighed.

“If you dont ill make sure you and Peter are assigned on the same missions for six months” She threatened and Bucky’s eyes widened at the thought of being stuck with parker on missions.

“Okay okay no need to do all that” He said standing up and putting his hands up in defeat. The older woman laughed to herself as she watched Bucky walk out her office.

Bucky had left the office to go and find you but had no luck. He had looked for you in all of your normal spots kitchen, living room, game room, your room but you weren’t there. It wasnt until he decided to check the training room that he had found you. You were at the punching bags hitting them as hard as you could to get out your anger.

“Y/n?” He said softly as he approached you carefully not wanting to startle you. You had turned around to face him with your chest heaving and your face sweaty.

“What Bucky?” Your voice dripped with venom as you spoke. Bucky had ran his hand through his hair sighing a little.

“Look i just wanted to say im sorry” He said and you looked for any hints of sarcasm or anything in his eyes but found none.

“I’m sorry im gonna need you to repeat that” You brought a hand to your ear acting like you didn’t hear him.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole. I never meant to hurt youre feelings doll” Bucky repeated but this time adding in a nickname that made your heart race.

“i-its okay” You stutter out not really fathoming the fact that Bucky is apologizing or that fact that he used a nickname to address you instead of an insult.

“No its not- i-i just dont know how to handle my emotions properly and i took it out on you when i shouldn’t have” His hands didn’t their way to your hips as he speaks. Your eyes go to his wands on your waist and then back up to him.

“It’s okay Bucky i get it” You say as your hands find their way to his shoulders. Bucky’s flesh hand moved to cup your face as he looked into your eyes making you melt. He slowly rubs his thumb against your cheek making you smile and lean into his touch.

“Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?” The question comes out shaky when you speak.

“Because it wasnt until you said that you hated me that i realized i fucked up and treated the one person who has never looked at me like a monster like shit. And i couldn’t stand the thought of you hating me.” He said honestly and for the first time you could see genuine emotion in his eyes.

“And whys that?” You ask stepping a little closer to him with a small smile.

“Because im in love with you” Bucky admits bringing you into a passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss earning a small groan from him. The two of you get so wrapped up in each other you forget to come up for air.

“I-I love you too” You admit after you catch your breath making him smile. Bucky then picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. He then carries you out of the training room and takes you to his.

When he brings you back to his room he lays you down on the bed before getting on top of you. He slots himself between your legs as he brings you in for another heated kiss. You moan into the kiss as you feel his hands roam all over your body. Bucky’s hands find the hem of your shorts and pull them down your thighs not breaking the kiss.

“Please” You whisper against his lips feeling his metal hand graze your dripping core. He sits on his knees and takes off you shirt then bra before sucking on your nipple. You throw your head back in pleasure letting out a moan.

“Oh fuck” Bucky takes his metal hand and finds his way in your panties and starts playing with your clit. “Yes daddy” You whimper breathlessly feeling the cool metal come into contact with your heat.

“Oh you like that kotenok?’ He asks after he releases your nipple with a pop. You nod your head and whisper a ‘Yes’ and start bucking your hips against his hand.

“Please please fuck me” You beg moving your hand down to his clothed crotch.

“So needy” He mocks unbuckling his belt and drops his pants on the floor before taking off his boxers and shirt. Once he’s fully naked in front of you, you cant help but stare at his reddened cock standing at attention for you.

You sit up so you come face to face with the red tip and wrap your hand around the base of his cock. His eyes go wide and his breath catches in his throat when you lick the pre cum off his slit.

“So good” You whisper before you hollow out your cheeks and take him into your mouth. His hands instantly find their way into your hair trying to resist fucking your throat. You tap his thigh letting him know he can use you as he pleases.

Bucky then grips onto your hair tighter and starts to thrust into your throat. “Fuck kotenok” He whines feeling your tongue graze the vein of his cock. You open your throat as much as you can so you can fully take him and sink down to the base of his cock.

“Fuck- i-im gonna cum if you keep doing that” He grunts feeling your throat open and close around him. His thrusts gets sloppy as he feels himself about to finish. He abruptly stops thrusting and pulls himself out of your throat making you whine.

“As much as id love to make you swallow id much rather breed that pretty pussy” Bucky says wiping the drool off your chin making you nod your head. You quickly get on all fours in front of him and wiggle your ass making him smack it.

“Yes daddy” You moan in delight feeling his metal hand come into contact with your soft skin. Bucky smirks and smacks the other cheek making you moan happily.

“You like that baby?” He coos rubbing the red marks he’s left making you shiver.

“Mhm” You nod backing your ass up against his cock. He takes the sign and slowly eases himself into you before bottoming out.

“So tight” He groans pulling out then thrusting back in. You scream in delight feeling his thick cock stretch you out. You weren’t a virgin in the slightest but Bucky had definitely been the biggest you’d ever taken.

“S-So big daddy” The words come out broken as you feel his tip kiss your g-spot.

“You can take it baby. Take daddy’s cock be a good girl and take it so i can fill you up. Would you like that? Do you want me to breed you and make you a mommy?” He asks wrapping his metal arm around your neck bringing you up to get a new angle.

“OH FUCK YES” You scream at the new angle feeling him in a new way. The thought of Bucky breeding you makes your eyes roll back and your brain go fuzzy. “Please-please fill me up daddy” You bed as his thrusts get harder.

“Oh i will kotenok dont worry” He says squeezing his hand a little around your neck. You never thought in a million years you’d have all your fantasies come true but fuck were you loving it.

“G-Gonna cum daddy… can i cum?” The question is choked out making Bucky smile.

“Yes baby cum for me im right behind you” He said and that’s when the coil in your stomach snapped and you came all over him. Feeling your warm walls clench down on him sent him over the edge, and he wrapped his flesh at around your stomach holding you close as he came. Bucky’s thrusts slowed down as he fucked his cum into you ensuring none would leak out.

“Fuck baby” He groaned in your ear giving you kisses up and down your neck and collarbone. “You did so good kotenok” Bucky praised slowly pulling out but still holding you close. Once he pulled out he laid you against the pillows and settled in between your legs again.

“T-Thank you daddy” You said in a fucked out haze trying to catch your breath. Bucky kisses from your chest down to your thighs and then settles his face in front of your pussy. He spreads your wet folds with his flesh hand before leaving a kiss on your clit.

‘Too sensitive daddy-cant-please-“ You protest trying to close your thighs but failing as he holds them apart.

“Just wanna taste you baby” He whispers giving your thigh a kiss. Not trusting your voice you opt your nodding and letting him do what he wants.

He slowly licks a stipe from your hole to clit making you whimper and cry out. Bucky groans at the way you taste and starts eating you like a man starved. His lips wrap around you clit and starts sucking lightly making you claw at his back.

“Yes yes yes” You chant feeling another orgasm about to rip through you. He picks up the pace and starts sloppily eating your pussy making you feel like never before.

“Gonna cum!” You scream arching your back off his bed and gripping the sheets as you finish on his tongue. Bucky groans in satisfaction and licks you clean before bringing you into a messy kiss.

“So fucking good” He praised after he broke the kiss. You smiled at him and feel back against the pillows in a haze. You felt the bed dip and you saw Bucky walk into the bathroom and grab a wet cloth. He came back to the bed and cleaned you up while telling you how good you did.

“You’re so perfect” He whispered in your ear laying down next to you. You crawled over to him and laid your head on his chest looking up at his pretty blue eyes.

“Not too bad yourself” Bucky laughed at your comment bringing you in for a loving kiss. “I could get used to that” You said with a cheeky grin on your face making him roll his eyes in faux annoyance.

“You better because now youre stuck with me” He said giving you a wink. The thought if being ‘stuck’ with him gave you butterflies and make you melt even more into hin.

“I think id be okay with that” You said pretending to think about it making Bucky laugh. He ran his hand through your hair and admired your beauty. In all of his 106 years on this earth he never thought he felt this way about someone. That was until you.. And he’ll be damned if he ever lets you get away again.

~The end~

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other cites

[coryosbaby]

Ultraviolence // E.L + C.M.

(Pt. 5)

Fandom: “Scream Vi”

Pairing: Stepbrother! Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, Chad Meeks Martin x fem! Reader, Ethan Landry x Chad Meeks Martin

Warning: stepcest (stepbrother x stepsister), some angst and shit parents // nsfw ! Threesome . Spit kink . Degradation & praise . Cum swallowing . Oral (m & f receiving) . Fingering (f receiving), choking, overstimulation — dom! Chad, dom! Ethan, sub! Reader

A/N: If this isn’t necessarily the pt 5 people were hoping for I deeply apologize. This is also more plot than porn. But I have a shit ton of ideas for part 6 that I’m rly excited to post 🤭🤭 Ty for reading 🙌🏻

Ethan’s cock is hot and heavy inside you as he fucks your needy cunt with an aching rage. Your nails are digging into his back, small whimpers slipping from your lips as his teeth bite down on your jugular. His hips cant into you at an incredible pace.

It’s been two days. Maybe three, you haven’t really been counting with how much Ethan has been shoving his cock into any hole on your body that exposes itself to him. He’s taking his anger directed towards his dad out onto you, while Chad watches.

Sure, Chad likes watching you get fucked; there’s no doubt about that. But the way Ethan has been touching you for this long is almost starting to concern him. But he knows he can get this way sometimes. Sometimes Ethan gets the need to blow off steam. After high school the once nerdy guy Chad used to be friends with is now a mean sex fiend.

Not that the other can talk, though. Because he’s been going along with it too, cock flush in his hand while he towers over your face and let’s it rub along the expanse of your kiss bitten lips, his abdomen clenched tight with the ache to release. His apartment is hot today, the summer heat reaching a high of ninety eight degrees. It’s a wonder none of you have passed out yet, even with the a/c running. Sweat drips down Ethan’s neck as he pounds you. Your eyes look up at the both of them, pupils dilated and streaming tears. Ethan’s thumbs move to the corners of your mouth and roughly pull them apart to expose the whites of your teeth.

“Good fucking girl. Yeah, open that mouth wide.” Hes demanding, and you can’t say no as you move your mouth open wider. He grins, his spit landing on your tongue and making your eyes roll back. “You fucking slut. This is all your good for, isn’t it? Being used as a little sex doll. That’s your place now, right? Can’t go anywhere, staying in this fucking bed being our fucking sex slave.”

You nod, fucked out and desperate; you’ve came more times than you can count since Ethan had decided to crash on Chad’s couch and you had showed up. Of course you took breaks, but… that wasn’t too far off from them just doing it so you wouldn’t faint or die from dehydration.

“You wanna taste my cum, bunny?” Chad’s voice growls out. He’s close, hands rubbing against his tip in just the right spot. Your tongue peeks out as you close your eyes and wait for his seed to hit you. And when it does, salty and bitter against your taste buds, Ethan lets out a loud animalistic groan and dumps his third load of the day into you. Your worn, body feeling incredibly hot and used. You’re too fucked out for another orgasm.

“Are you done?” You ask quietly, as Ethan pulls out of your abused cunt. He nods, fingers coming up to run across your jaw and tickle the tips of your ears. Chad moves to lay beside the both of you, his hands going to wrap around your wrist as a form of comfort.

“Yeah, baby. We’re done. C’mere, you have to rest.”

“Can we get McDonald’s after this?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” Chad cuts in. “Anything you want.”

“I don’t know,” Ethan jokes. “She has her belly full now, doesn’t she?”

Chad grimaces. “Shut up, dude. That’s gross.”

“You literally swallowed my cum two days ago.”

“Yeah, because you held my head down —“

“You would’ve swallowed it anyway!”

A smile plasters on your face at their antics, and your eyes begin to close as the two boys wrap their arms around you.

Ethan watches the outline of your jaw, your soft neck littered with hickeys and bruises. And then to Chad, who’s hands gently graze his as they rest on your tummy. He smiles.

It’s almost perfect, this way. Chad has a job, Ethan’s working on getting one, and you… you’re here, and you’re perfect and you’re beautiful and—

Ethan is so mad.

It’s almost perfect— but there’s a problem. Of course there is, why fucking wouldn’t there be?

You still live in your parent’s house, after all.

Oh, you could move if you could. You could live with Chad, with Ethan, make things the way you want them to— but your mother is demanding. Threatening to cut off your college tuition money if you left was the part that had made you stay. Even after they accused Ethan of being a perverted freak of a person, after saying you were ‘too innocent’ and ‘too young’ to know what he was doing (you and Ethan are only two years apart).

So after they had left for an emergency business venture you knew where you could go. They told you not to, but it’s not like they’d figure it out. And being locked in your room was really starting to bore you.

Ethan’s blood has been boiling since the night you got caught. He wishes he could give you the money for your college, wishes he could give you the entire fucking world. But that doesn’t work on Chad’s salary and probably won’t work on the one Ethan’s about to have.

He wants you and Chad to only be with him.

That may sound selfish, but Ethan isn’t known for being necessarily generous. He wants the entire world to be cut off from the both of you, wants the only thing you both see to be him. Ethan could tear the world apart limb from limb just to have you and Chad forever.

It’s really starting to fuck with him.

Ethan is starting to scare you a little bit.

It’s not the sex— well, it is a little bit, but you enjoy it. He’s just been so.. out of it, recently.

Not in the sense of ‘he’s losing feelings’ or anything like that. It’s when he gets this look in his eyes. Sometimes when he thinks no else is looking, when those doe eyed things go dark and he seems like he’s thinking of doing something he shouldn’t. You don’t know what it is, exactly. But he looks so far off— as if he’s somewhere else. And he’s become more violent; in sex, in the way he holds you down and then holds Chad down the same way. It’s confusing.

And it’s also making you a bit nervous.

Chad doesn’t seem any different, at least from what you can tell. He’s still his same soft self— outside of sex, of course. He takes Ethan’s behavior in stride (and with a little bit of prep). But you can tell that he notices, too.

“I just think that you should drop out.”

Ethan’s voice is blaring with a twinge of annoyance, as he drives you back to your house. You told him he shouldn’t, that it’s too risky. But he won’t listen. You also know that when he says ‘drop out’ he actually means ‘leave our parents and be with me.’

You roll your eyes, hands going down to adjust your pink sundress.

“I can’t just drop out, Ethan. I have a career I’m set on.”

“We can make it work—“

“Don’t be stupid.” You mutter. His hands tap against the steering wheel impatiently, face turned up into one of anger. His blue shirt clings to him tightly, muscles are prominent.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” He snaps.

“Don’t make dumb suggestions.”

After that snide comment he shoves you into the house and bends you over the kitchen counter, regardless of your protests, like he did the first time. And then he left you with cum dripping all down your legs, while you waited for your parents to get home from their trip.

When they did you decided to not eat dinner that night.

Your mom has been on the fence since your secret had been revealed to the Landry household. Ethan — your stepbrother — has been fucking you for months.

You still remember the sound of Wayne’s voice screaming at the both of you:

“How could you do this?! After everything we’ve done for the both of you?!”

“You’re a disappointment to me, Ethan. I want you out!”

And then after, when Ethan had left, the words spewed at you.

“I can’t believe you would be such a whore.”

“How could you do this to our family? To me?!”

“You’re never seeing him again.”

Yeah, right.

You sigh, plopping down onto your bed. It’s almost time for you to go to college, the summer ending.

What a wild story you could tell if you had an essay due about your summer.

Your parents are downstairs, now. Doing— you don’t really know what they’re doing. You don’t come down from your room anymore.

A text dings on your phone. You smile.

E🫶🏻: you okay?

me: mhm

You pause. You bite your lip as you assemble to next message.

me: I miss u :)

A moment for him to reply.

E🫶🏻: I miss you too, bunny

E🫶🏻: chad said he misses you too

me: I miss u both >:(

me: we’ll see each other more when I’m away at college tho <3

E🫶🏻 : maybe I have a way to make us be with each other all the time :)

me: oh yeah lover boy? And what would that be

E🫶🏻: you’ll see.

Your brows furrow. A surprise, maybe? A gift? Maybe a new way for you to sneak out…

You don’t know. But your eyes are beginning to become heavy and sleepy; you tell him and Chad both good night and begin to sleep.

Your dreams have become nightmares, more or less. Images of blood and gore, a hand holding on a little too tight — it’s been the same for the past few nights. Your family, slaughtered.

A loud crash makes your eyelids flutter open.

You think you’ve only been asleep a few hours. Your hello kitty clock reads 2:37 a.m in giant bold letters, and your heart beats harshly against your chest at the sudden sound. Furrowing your brows, but being cautious, you grab the pink pocket knife you kept beside your bed. It isn’t much, but it’s something, at least. Creeping closer to the door you can hear that the noise has stopped— but that doesn’t calm you. You think of waking up your parents but you don’t want to make them any more mad than they already are.

You open your door. No one is outside your room, it seems. The sound must’ve come from downstairs. Creeping down the wooden steps you go into the living room and see that it’s empty.

Except for the window.

The one near the couch is wide open, and you can see that a house plant beside it got knocked over and broke all to pieces. You gulp, hands gripping the knife tighter. Your dreams have made you extremely paranoid, and if there really is an intruder, you won’t go down without a fight.

Another crash— from the kitchen this time, but not as loud as before. It was more of just.. commotion. You prepare yourself, breath heavy. You make your way to the doorway, prepared to strike and stab and hit….

Someone grabs you.

The knife clatters to the ground. So much for protecting yourself! Your immediate thought is to scream, but no words come out and a hand is covering your mouth. When they whirl you around and begin laughing your brows furrow and hot tears well up from the stress.

….It’s fucking Ethan.

He’s standing there, a shit eating grin on his face, wearing a muscle tee and jeans.

You sneer, pushing him harshly as you wipe your eyes.

“You fucking asshole!” you whisper yell. “You scared the fuck out of me! What the hell is wrong with you?”

He chuckles. “Sorry, sweetness. It’s just so funny to see the look on your face.”

You sniffle, crossing your arms and willing yourself not to cry anymore. “‘S not funny.”

Ethan’s smile drops, his hands reaching out wrap you into a hug. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, promise.”

He doesn’t seem that sorry, but you drop the subject.

“You literally broke in, Ethan. What if mom and dad wake up? You’ll be in so much trouble, i swear— they’ll call the fucking police on you—”

Your words stop when he turns his back to you, stalks into the kitchen, and begins rummaging through the house’s well renowned junk drawer.

“Calm down, baby. I just needed to get my watch. I forgot it before I moved… aha! There it is!”

He excitedly turns around and shows you the black and red band. He slips it around his wrist. You roll your eyes, and scoff.

“You broke into the house so you could take a watch?”

He gives you a mischievous look. He moves closer to you and his lips graze yours. You can’t help but smile.

“Maybe I came to take something else with me, too.”

You bite your lip, but your eyes go to the stairs.

“We can’t do that here. We’ll get caught.”

“Suit yourself, then,” Ethan quips. He sighs dramatically. “I guess I’ll just be on my way then..”

“No!” Your immediate to keep him here. To keep him with you. You aren’t the same without his company.

He smiles, lips grazing your neck. His teeth scrape against it and you admire the sting. “There’s my good girl.”

You kiss him, harsh. He tastes fresh and sweet. His hands find your waist and he pushes you against the kitchen counter. You whine, your hands reaching for the bulge in his pants— but your wrist hits his pocket and you feel something inside of it. You reach in, playful. But when you pull it out, it’s the pocket knife you dropped earlier. He must’ve picked it up when you weren’t looking.

“Why do you need my knife?” You ask, as his lips peck your chin and jawline. He looks down, at it in your hands, white teeth shining as he smiles.

“Maybe I like to have a part of you with me wherever I go.”

It’s endearing. But this feeling settles in your stomach— something you can’t quite place. However, you slide the blade back into his pocket and begin to kiss him again. His fingers are right there, just about to brush over your clit.

And out of the corner of your eye, you see the upstairs light flicker on.

You panic, lips breaking away from Ethan’s as you hear footsteps. You’ve lived long enough in the house to know who’s it is— it’s your mother’s. Your eyes widen.

“Hide!”

Ethan mouths the words oh shit before running into the living room. You pray he finds a decent hiding spot. Your mom comes down the stairs, in her robe and with messy hair. She seems like she’s just woken up.

“Is there someone else down here with you?” She says, confused.

You shake your head, nervously biting your thumbnail.

“No, mom. No one is down here. It’s just me.”

“Huh.”

She looks around and she walks into the living room. You follow her in fear, and when you catch Ethan’s sneakers underneath the window curtain you almost fucking scream in frustration. Your mother is too busy looking at her broken plant and the opened window for her to notice.

“Oh my god! Did someone break in?” She exclaims. Your heart beats rapidly.

“Uhm— no!” You say, exasperated and lying.

You try your best to think up a good fake story. “I slept-walked again, i think. I’ve been meaning to tell you… it’s been a while but I think it’s starting up again.”

You haven’t slept-walked since you were twelve. Your mom sighs, annoyed.

“Shit. I’ll call the doctor in the morning, then. We’ll see if he can find anything for it. Because if it’s to the point where you’re breaking things and opening windows..”

“��That’s not necessary, mom, really.”

“I’m calling them, y/n.” She states. She looks you up and down for a moment. If you don’t know any better you think a look of disgust is on her face. “For once in your life, please make yourself useful and clean this up.”

Your head hangs down, and you bite your lower lip to keep from snapping at her. “Yes ma’am.”

When she goes back up stairs, Ethan comes out of his hiding spot. You breathe out a sigh of relief, but Ethan’s fists are clenched.

“She shouldn’t talk to you like that.” He says.

You shrug, threading your fingers through his. His curls are sticking to his forehead, cheeks flushed. He’s absolutely precious, even when he’s angry.

“Doesn’t matter, E. Forget about it.”

He narrows his eyes at the stairs, as if she was standing there and he could see her. Your thoughts go back to the knife and you get that feeling again. But your lips are back on his in an instant and it seems that Ethan quickly forgets his rage. His hand rests on the back of your head as he tries to drag you to the couch. But you shake your head and giggle.

“Not here. I’m not getting caught fucking you again.”

“Technically, we weren’t fucking.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Still.”

So you drag him up the stairs. It’s scary, because your parents are also up there, but at least you’re both better concealed. He fucks you raw on the bed and chokes you with his incredibly toned arms. And then he lays with you and you both smoke a joint out the window so it doesn’t smell.

But even then, and even after he left, your thoughts still linger on the knife he had taken with him.

© 2023 bratty-lxndry444 🤏🏻 all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, modify, repost, or claim as yours !!!

[cauli-is-awake]

life series theorising (spoilers ahead beware)

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

i like lore and was bored so i compiled this neat lil theory about the life series'.

the main thought in this is, what if it was meant to end with secret life?

and that's why it was so different from the other series before? it was meant to be a big dramatic finale from the watchers and it got fucked up by the players still, and that's why we have wild life -where the watchers are angry and have completely let loose- .

think about it, the really obvious watcher reference in the secret keeper, no more mystery and controlling the games ominously from the shadows, they were directly "we are in control and doing this to you". the tasks getting harder and building up to the final "win secret life" it's so much an order than any other finale:

third life "there can only be one winner" -grian desperately wants to remain in his desert peacefully with scar but is forced to give it up to make it so there is only one winner as the watchers intended. even his jump of the cliff is an act of defiance, killing himself on his terms.

last life "i've spent all season being honourable, im not about to stop now" -scott isn't in a bloodlust like many other players, he is defying the watchers, not by living on peacefully (for he knows that isn't possible) but by having a fair match, being honest and never betraying allies and ending it in a similar fashion, the watchers are furious and strike him down for defying them, vowing to end this treachery.

double life "tilly death do us part" -pearl is given the win by scott. in lore you cant tell me that wasn't purposeful a pairing, and after sessions and sessions of fighting it all comes to an end with scott's sacrifice (already going against the watchers in not going with his soulmate and again by killing himself). the watchers are hoping, WAITING for this full scale fight that never happened. and the worst part is, PEARL FORGAVE HIM. they made up. the watchers are fucking pissedddd.

limited life "this is a death match for a reason" -martyn in the watchers grasps is common is lim life fics, and it leans into that build up of wanting control and watching players thwart it every time, so they full on possess a player and make him win the way they want, with betrayal and violence (even better the players were trying to organise another "fair fight" between the final three). They brought back the boogie, maybe that was there anger festering and they had to cause more chaos and bloodshed and on such short notice just borrowed from Last life? Even the life gimmick of lim life kinda feels like a hint at the near end, time is counting down like the watchers patience and willingness to play, once the countdown (limlife) is over, the finale begins. This time the game ends as the watchers want BECAUSE they interfered, proving to themselves they still control the games.

then we get to secret life and everything is meant to end:

jimmy isn't the first to die (canary curse)

scotts alliance breaks apart (his loyalty is finally tested)

a substantial amount of murder from non reds (boogey apocalypse)

in secret life everything changes

BUT IT DIDNT (dun dun dun)

LIZZIE DIED FIRST BUT WAS STUCK IN THE VOID, CANARY CURSE CONTINUES

GEM AND THE SCOTTS FALL APART IN THE BOOGEY APOCALYPSE BUT SCOTT IS STILL LOYAL AND LAYS DOWN HIS LIFE FOR GEM

AND PEOPLE SURVIVE THE BOOGEY APOCALYPSE, SO THE TASK FAILS

(i could draw more differences but this is enough example for me)

so their big dramatic finale failed

maybe that's why scar lived?

the watchers forgot him in the secret life world in their rage

UNTIL WILDLIFE:

when they are throwing everything at them possible (WILDNESS)

(atleast this time it seems to be working if mumbo's death is anything to go by)

thanks for listening to my yapping ^-^

i love drawing silly conclusions from the series

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yves ask<3

At like 2am I was listening to a playlist that had the song It's Over Isn't It from Steven Universe and I couldn't help but think a little bit about Yves. Idk if you see it but some of the lines in the song were giving me a bit of angsty Yves vibes. Like Yves not understanding why he "lost" to some random love interest like in that one Montgomery post.

Idk could be just me but I got a bit of Yves brain going on rn..

Well i mean, Yves was partially inspired by Pearl from Steven universe too, and it definitely comes with the angst fr theres some parallels between Greg and Monty; Yves FUCKING hates Montgomery's guts for stealing you away but he has no choice but to act like he actually "loves" him deep down, past Yves's monster-in-law exterior. Because Montgomery makes you happy and he knows if Yves were to express how he really feels, you would be devastated.

In his mind, the ultimate goal isn't to please himself, but to please you in life. He can't kill Montgomery or else you will feel hollow and unhappy. He cant give you an ultimatum, because even if you chose him, you would still yearn for Montgomery. Yves can't just bend reality this time, because somehow your attraction and love towards Montgomery is so strong, to break that bond is to break you too.

So he just smiles and digs his fingernails into his palm until it breaks the skin, only letting out the most blood-curling, ear-obliterating Yves-rage scream in the privacy of his home. Maybe even sticking some pins and needles into his heavily abused Montgomery voodoo doll, casting spells with obscure ingredients and ancient scripts since he would turn spiritual when facing things that he couldn't accept.

Under all that calm and collected mask is a hurricane of emotions; especially unimaginable anguish and anger. Desperately wishing that you would have preferred what Yves had. Desperately wishing you had chosen him instead.

But you nor Montgomery would know the depth of his hatred for the man who robbed Yves of his rightful position as your husband. You wouldn't know the excruciating pain he felt when you rejected him and went for someone he perceived as a lesser being. He hates him.

Yves hates, hates, hates Montgomery so much and he would torture him so gorily and cruelly, that even the devil would retch in disgust. Alas, you love that... Pathetic excuse of a man. He cannot do anything further than a couple of petty exchanges and stare at you longingly.

You wouldn't know just how much your best friend despised and loathed him, especially when he's so kind to Montgomery and claims to care about him too.

Perhaps you should listen to your husband when he says he's not at all comfortable being alone in a room with Yves. Maybe you should believe Montgomery when he says there is something very, very off about your beloved best friend.

Then again, Yves doesn't take his mask slipping off his true, ugly form lightly. Best to just pretend that nothing is happening and ignore the fact that his house increasingly smells like incense.

[bugsnakes]

do you have any shrimpo hcs youve never had an excuse to share. sniles

get ready for this

Im actually making this a keep reading thing becauze i have So much to share. Like right now (i never get opportunities to share shit like Ever)

OKAY. SO. These hcs all reside to the shrimpo design i have (assuming the people reading this knows what it looks like by now. If not ill attach it at the bottom for your Itty bitty Eyes)

said in a previous post which i will Not be linking. he EXTREMELY Hates walking around in either his prosthetic leg/crutches. He'd prefer if someone helps him move around instead of himself (hint hint)

speaking of his prosthetic leg, he doesn't actually HAVE one (like attachment wise), only a blade runner. although he complains about it, shrimpo doesnt have the faintest of heart to get one. So shrimpo is usually seen with his blade runner off. he finds the blade runner annoying (pick a side shrimp boy. Do u wanna walk or not)

with his little whiskers.. antennas. Things. whatever you describe them; he often likes to poke toons/walls/whatever else to get a feel of it. Texture! yknow? shrimpo does have hands, yes, but i feel like the antennas would be more of a help to navigate stuff because theyre more sensitive-like (isnt that the purpose of the whiskers on a shrimp anyway..?? Idk beats me LOL)

ONE MORE THING. Shrimpo DESPISES the feeling of bandages. he already knows its mandatory to keep them on since he's already a main target for injuries, but he constantly has this feeling to rip them off right there and now. This is why he doesnt have bandages wrapped around the Gigantic gash on his Arm

GOING OFF OF THE DESIGN TOPIC,

"saamm!! Does he still have his canon personality i need to know!!!!" yes he does actually. THOUGH. Regardless if everybody else hates his guts (in which hes aware of that) he does actually try to maintain his anger. even if a few words slip out or he's still rude to others, he still tries to have a normal conversation with toons instead of constantly going "I HATE THIS." "I HATE THAT!!". Hating can be tiring sometimes!!

on a lighthearted side, and something i think is kinda funny as a shrimpo hc. He's a big hoarder. Like. He'd always keep anything he sees On Sight. Trinkets, foods, medkits or bandages. You name it!! i like to think shrimpo is a penguin pebbler too. he doesn't like sharing, but he does like to give things or necessary equipment to toons he likes being with... AGAIN. Only necessary stuff!!!

Annddd finally. to my eyes. Hes a raging aroacer. he cant reciprocate love, and even if he does like someone (hi boxten), he'll brush it off as platonic. He is rough with his kisses, nuzzles and hugs.... LOL!

THANK U SO MUCH FOR ASKING THIS VRO. Words genuinely cannot describe how happy i am to finally ramble about my favourite toon crustacean... I am tipping my hat rn. Flying away into the heavensAnyway

i might add more in the future. If i feel silly enough hehe

HEREESS SHRIMPOOO!!! MY DESIGNN!! THE PROSTHETIC LEG GUY!!

[linkedin-corp]

okay now that ive posted that thing on my art acc im gonna talk about chimera vivian here for a minute bcus i brainrotted to a friend of mine last night but i think its good if my ttyd followers know about the au lore

(LONG POST AHEAD. BEWARE)

it takes place and begins right as the party is to fight gloomtail. the party is fatigued by then and , to their dismay, they can barely handle him. he is more powerful than expected. in an unexpected turn of events, gloomtail eats vivian. without her, the party simply cant continue. so they flee

and while the party has fled the palace, and trying to reconcile a plan, the shadow queen that was destined to awaken within the palace soon eventually arises and begins to wreck havoc while the party is recovering from their loss. though, she is still weak, so she remains in the shadow palace , working away at what she can while inside it.

once the party has the courage and willpower to return, they finally defeat gloomtail in an effort to retrieve vivian first, but. as expected. shes not completely there

unsure who would be the one to do it, but one of them definitely ends up needing to use a spell or a certain type of magic to bring her back, probably. perhaps they encounter a friend who can use certain spells, like what theyd need. that will reverse stuff like. say. a friend getting killed and eaten by an actual dragon (time reversal magic ... ? much to think about ..)

of course it would go as expected; weird and massively backfire, because vivian is not your normal everyday individual, and neither is this dragon, both technically being under the shadow queens influence (in vivian's case, she is, a shadow. so inherently related to the shadow queen whether she likes it or not)

and then of course once ""vivian"" gets revived, its obviously not her. the party is super conflicted, and unsure what to do, so they once again flee, after just letting her do her thing for a bit (and accidentally kill many people in the process) as they are quite dazed . so is vivian, to be fair

once she finds the queen, vivian is luckily not as friendly to the shadow queen as falin is to thistle

even though she knows shes meant to follow under the queen and obey her every order, she also knows something is wrong. but since she isnt completely herself, and cant nessesarily think for herself, she cant make use of this anxiety. so she just tries to avoid the shadow queen when she can; unfortunately the shadow queen likes to use her as a sort of. large display pet/guard dog. chimera vivian is basically a giant ball of anxiety and sadness and confusion that sometimes manifests as blind rage.

her relationship with gloomtail during this whole ordeal is also very difficult and different, i think

instead of being kind and understanding in the way that falin is, vivian is scared and confused, and eventually lets her anger out at gloomtail, making him feel guilty the longer they stay connected. hes upset that they had killed hooktail, but he specifically starts feeling guilty bcus vivian technically didint do anything + shes also a shadow. so he accidentally did some overbearing friendly fire, even if vivian was working with mario at the time he ate her. oopsie

the way they change vivian back to normal? once they defeat the shadow queen she turns back. because shes sealed away, all the magic she cast on the world fades, as her influence is no longer thriving

majority of the au is just essentially the party trying to find those who can help them with their "needing those who can revive and manipulate dead people" problems . though once they do find them it wont be over

they wont be able to free vivian from gloomtail until the shadow queen is defeated, so they have to find a way to free vivian from the queen's influence first, and hopefully help her regain her memory in the process, so they can use her against the queen and have her on their side again .

biting the hand that feeds :)

[number1rizgukgakstan]

FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR FINALE PART 2 LIVEBLOG: SPOILERS AHEAD

ITS GAME TIME BABY! :D I'm so ready for this. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

Spoilers Under The Cut!

GOD their outfits are so fucking cool. I love their bullying of Brennan. it's so great I love it. I CANT BELIEVE THEY DIDNT TELL HIM thats so funny.

"I spent 217 dollars at Hot Topic" Real for that Siobhan.

I would have KILLED for Brennan in Emo Kid Clothes but alas. Some other time.

FABIAN'S ABOUT TO DO THE COOLEST FUCKING THING :DDD

MIRRORS??? MIRRORS?? ROMAENCE PARTNER APPEARANCE MAYBE??? MAYBE??? MAYBE??? It'd be so funny

That dice span for SO FUCKING LONG oh my god. The dice are FEELING IT today.

Fabian pushing Jace into the lava is maybe the funniest use of Brennan's own fucking encounter design against him. I love it.

18 D10???? EIGHTEEN??? INSANE.

"I served Rueben up a plate of redemption arc and he fucking cast a ninth level spell on it" is great.

"AHHH I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED A LITTLE BIT" beautiful final words for the duplicate

Ohhhh Jace is being HIVE-MINDED. He's just a minion. Damn.

WAIT. SO ONCE THE RAGESTARS ARE GONE, THEY COULD PROBABLY BE SAVED RIGHT??? Ratgrinders might get to go away, maybe?

Oh god if Kristen gets rage-starred they're seriously fucked,,, thank god it didn't happen.

MAZEY NOOOOOOOO.

"I mean I don't Hate it" NOT THE TIME FABIAN

They're already two people down [sobs]

OH MY GOD PORTER REALLY FUCKING HATES GORGUG HOLY SHIT. He's so fucking scary actually.

Oh god I'm so worried ANKARNA NOOOOOO

RIZ'S FUCKING PLAN IS INSANE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Murph the GENIUS YOU ARE. The fact that it did ONE HUNDRED AND SIX DAMAGE is absurd.

"VERY GOOD ON PAPER BUT NO PRACTICAL APPLICATION" OUCH!

SHE'S NOT EVEN RAGE-STARRED??? SHE WAS DOING THIS WILLINGLY?? HOLY SHIT MOST COMPELLING VILLAIN EVER. SHE REALLY IS JUST THAT FULL OF HATE. #1 HATER. I LOVE IT.

Mary-Ann CHOOSING to take the damage is absurd. We stan a dedicated queen.

Oh god three people down is worrying. I'm sure they'll pull through.

ANOTHER CLUTCH SCATTER FROM ADAINE!

God, Brennan's homebrew spell coming back to bite him is SO funny.

GET FUCKED JACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!

ARTHUR AGUEFORT'S CONTINGENCY MEASURE IS SO FUNNY.

Killing KLCK fucking over Jace and Porter is incredibly funny. Turns out Rage does not make for Good Planning.

LOWEST INT BITCHES AS YOUR LEADERS IS SO FUNNY

"I really can't I tried" GOD jace is such a stupid fucking sorcerer I love him.

Jace failing to Bigby's Hand Adaine into the lava and then fighting with Porter is amazing. Peak. ANOTHER CLUTCH NAT 20 FOR GORGUG! The gym really is pulling things off for them.

"He just rolled a 4" in the most defeated voice ever is so fucking funny. This is what happens when half your villain party has shitty strength.

"eat this gizard and get the fuck up" God I love Brennan's random ass magic items. It's great.

"You might still be trapped in a Burning Elmville with a raging giant" So an average Tuesday in Solace?

Honoring the Cock and Getting a Nat 1- the Dimension 20 Way

Fig's tricky little Shatter is my favorite tactic in her toolbox. And her getting 40 damage of shatter is ABSURD, even if her rolling them one by one is nerve-wracking.

SIXTY-NINE FIRE DAMAGE :D

SO IF BUDDY COMES BACK HE JUST FUCKING DROPS STRAIGHT INTO THE LAVA??

BAKUR BABY!!!!!!! LET'S HOPE HE'S NOT EVIL!

He doesn't have his own mini so he's basically just That Guy

Bakur might choose to join either side so let's see :eyes eyes eyes:

GOD I love Fabian and his clutch rolls. BAKUR and ALLIES!

SQUEEEEEEEM!!! FUCK YEAH!! SQUEEM! AND HE BROUGHT THE CORTADOS. BALTHAZAR'S BACK!!!!! HOLY SHIT??? I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU BUT I LOVE YOU!

YOU GOT YOUR HEALS! GET A CORTADO AND JOIN THE PARTY SQUEEEEM!

Mary-Anne rolling a nat 1 is so funny i'm losing it. Clutch ass cutting words. The Hangman is winning!

Fabian and Mazey are SO cute. They deserve the fucking world. ITS ALL LOVE NOW!!!!

The value of protective anger,,,, the strength of love and light and the desire to combat those who would hurt the ones you love,,, Brennan Lee Mulligan you are a genius

ANOTHER K2 BLIMEY NAT 20??? THE DICE ARE THE REAL HEROES OF THIS STORY. It's fucking. It's so fucking funny. I'm literally crying.

Zac in the DM's seat again is making me laugh so hard.

Brennan actually packing up behind them is so funny. He's really committed to the bit.

"She's about to become a normal person" this is actually tragic when you think about it. Luckily, K2 is in a comedy show, so it's going to be funny instead.

"This spell is MEANT to be comedic" yeah it's literally a fucking snowman.

OH MY GOD. CASSANDRA MADE K2 A REAL PERSON???? HOLY SHIT THIS IS SOME PINOCCHIO LEVEL BULLSHIT IM ECSTATIC. OR LIKE, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN???

"Unsleeping City K2???" I WANT THIS

K2 is now a human cleric and she's fucking real. Holy shit she's fucking real.

GOD THE MOMENT WITH CASSANDRA AND BAKUR IS SO FUCKING COOL.

BALTHAZAR GOT FUCKING DISINTEGRATED [sobs] GOODBYE SWEET MAN WHO NEVER DOES ANYTHING. THE MOST CRINGEFAIL MAN EVER

Oh god the Bad Kids are fucking down again :sobs:

"We're just collecting Barbarians" I love that <3 Barbarians Only

Mazey is definitely an honorary bad kid <3 Epic crits and clutch heals for all!

Fabian and Gorgug have gone down SO MUCH. It's incredible how they keep fucking pulling themselves back up. They are truly living on the edge.

We're halfway through the episode and I am very excited and also a little nervous.

OH THANK GOD SANDRA LYNN'S FINE! :D It's also nice to see Lydia and Ragh! :D

I love how Fig immediately calls back to her mom to help. They're the family ever.

GOD Jawbone's full mini is so fucking cool.

BRENNAN YOU CAD WHERE'S AYDA???????

"All I have to do is be dead and I can roll anything" should be printed on a dice holder FOR SURE

THE FUCKING AGENT IS HERE??? IM LOSING IT

BAXTER IS FIGHTING PORTER??? OH MY GOD

Lydia's wheelchair sliding is actually so fun. I love Brennan taking into account wheelchair physics for his combat. It's always nice to see.

GORGUG HAS A FUCKING FLASHBANG?????? ONCE AGAIN GORGUG'S ABILITIES COME IN CLUTCH.

"is this Justice? Is this a New Dawn?" GOES SO FUCKING HARD???? ADAINE YOU ARE THE COOLEST

BAKUR BACK TO HIS HIGH ELF SELF!!!!

EVERYONE'S GETTING A DIVINE INTERVENTION????? HOLY SHIT.

HOLY SHIT FABIAN DID IT???? FUCK THATS SO COOL. FABIAN, A PROTECTOR, ALONGSIDE ADAINE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS!

Mazey and Fabian are so sweet. I want them to be in love forever do you hear me???? YOU HEAR ME???

"All the ways you've protected people is what makes you cool" GOD MAZEY GETS IT. FABIAN HAS SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE.

Ankarna, sitting in the bottomless pit; THAT BOY DESERVES TO BE WITH HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. LET ME RISE UP!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH ANKARNA LIVES. SHE FUCKING SLAYS!!! SHE SLAYYYYYYYYYS

Jace getting fucking arrested is the funniest ending for a villain in this show. ITS NOT EVEN THE REAL JACE.

"I WAS HILDA HILDA THE WHOLE TIME!" EMILY THE COMEDIAN THAT YOU ARE!

God this battle was so cool it really did a lot for the Bad Kids as characters.

All of the scenes in the ether were SO GOOD. They really show how strong they've grown, and the strengths of their heart. Their desire to look ahead is built into them, and I love it.

"rebellion without a new dawn to look forward to is just cynical"

"where's the fucking cat" KRISTEN YOU'RE SO FUCKING FUNNY

SQUEEM AND BALTHAZAR HUNTING KALINA IS GREAT

"bring back everyone but Kipperlilly"

"No, just Mary-Ann"

The Bad Kids are great, Funniest people ever, 10/10

"Juicy God Gossip" is such a funny line. Another t-shirt I want.

GOD DAMN IT ARTHUR AGUEFORT WHY ARE YOU JUST NOW SHOWING UP

FORGIVEN, HE BROUGHT AYDA BACK, WE ARE WELL. God their reunion was perfect it was so sweet. And Adaine and Ayda also had a really good moment.

Arthur Aguefort is the single funniest character Brennan has ever written.

Kristen Applebees is going to be the president! HOLY SHIT!

YOLANDA AND LUCY ARE BACK!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!

RATGRINDERS REDEMPTION ARC!!! So they were ALL just possessed. This is a good ending.

Oisin and Ivy should hopefully have a terrible senior year :3

Mary-Ann is so funny and earnest and sweet and I seriously love her. I hope she has a wonderful senior year and nothing bad ever happens to her ever again. ENEMIES TO LOVERS GORGUG AND MARY-ANN WAS NOT ON MY BINGO CARD

Is Gorgug's type just barbarians who can kill him????

GOD all of them are so fucking funny.

Kristen as a Pantheon Type Cleric makes SO MUCH SENSE!!!

Riz switching to tea and embracing change is beautiful. He's so fucking strong. "whatever you choose to do, you're going to be good at it" I love his relationship with his mom so much.

Adaine's mom is being a little bastard in the Nightmare Forest? That's going to be fun to follow up on if they ever do.

"i'd take them to get you" made me SOB. They're THE SISTERS EVER.

"we know what its for, we don't have to talk about it, it wasn't great" IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. Realest teenager moment ever.

HIS MOM SHOWS UP??? CRYING LAUGHING

HOLY SHIT FABIAN'S GRANDAD IS BACK!!

FABIAN's MOM IS ACTUALLY PREGNANT [screaming] THATS SO FUNNY

HIS INFANT SIBLING IS LITERALLY THE NEWEST NEMESIS IM CRYING

"Do you ever talk to Jawbone about any of this?" Mazey's gonna learn her new boyfriend has NO CHILL.

FOUR GOD PANTHEON???? That's going to be SO FUN!!!

Tracker and her girlfriend broke up I'm losing it.

GERTIE DECLARED KRISTEN HER NEMESIS I'm SCREAMING thats so funny. I mean it was intensely funny. It is a bit fucked up she led Gertie on, but that's teenagers for you.

GORGUG AND FIG ARE SO SWEET I'M SOBBING. GORGUG'S GIFTS ARE ADORABLE. THEY ARE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER.

The Thistlesprings are the Most Adoring Parents Ever I love them so much. PROFESSOR THISTLESPRING ARC???? I REALLY HOPE THAT HAPPENS.

"maybe next year i'll be the bad guy?" ARTHUR AGUEFORT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.

AYDA AND FIG MOMENT. I LOVE HOW INTENSE AYDA IS. THE GIRLFRIENDS EVER.

Oh my god the Complicated Women Podcast I'm screaming. I love how Sandra Lynn talks about it.

Fig's going to be SUCH a good big sister. Hopefully Fig can help Fabian handle things.

GOD the Hunter's Mark from Sandra Lynn to make sure she can always find her daughter is so sweet. They're the cutest ever.

"Maybe she can just trust that they'll be friends outside of school" GOD I LOVE THAT. Fig is THE BARD EVER.

THE AUTOMATONS HUNTING FIG IS SO FUNNY.

Ayda connected the Bottomless Pit with Leviathin and I'm just sobbing. Her point about learning was so strong and brilliant I love it.

"it's hot tub time!" - GOD THATS SO FUNNY

OH MY GOD BAKARATH IS REAL???? AND KALINA???? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY. IS BAKARATH GOING TO BE THE FINAL BOSS OF A FUTURE SEASON???

That ending was amazing and I had such a good time. It's bittersweet, but I'm happy I was here. GO BAD KIDS!!

[sugarpuptard]

i hate that i have to have this brain and body sometimes, its so hard trying to exist and do basic things. i had such a good week since i had my fiancé but being home again just seems to flip a switch or something.

people dont always share the other pains TS brings like neuro storms/rage attacks and the overall emotional overload and dysregulation it causes. the worse my tourettes got the worse my frustration tolerance levels got, and even during less ticcy days i still struggle so much with little stressors popping up until i explode with anger and frustration. frustration like that feels physically painful and i cant help curse and cry and hit things and myself to try and get that energy out of me. it makes me feel immature and bad when it happens to me but i cant control it and i hate that. and all the other symptoms and comorbid disorders with it is SO FUCKING EXAUSTING.

i feel like this is one of the things that makes me feel more comfortable in jirai communities, i've seen jirai more tied to disorders like bpd and stuff which made me feel.. idk the feeling exactly maybe imposter syndrome? but i almost felt like i couldn't really be jirai because im not bpd or anything similar like that (dx. with bpd traits in the past but im %99.9999 sure that was a misdiagnosis ong) but thinking over it again after another rage attack, i think suddenly exploding and acting out emotionally like i do and other things is landmine behavior aha..

i dont know what im rambling about anymore i am foggy (@ ~ @) i wonder if anyone has felt the same way before tho, unless i am just overthinking like i always do

[cripple-punk-dad]

I hate abled people so fucking much. I barely leave my house just to avoid them anymore. I stopped grocery shopping in person because i keep getting harassed by employees and customers. I hate being constantly touched, i hate people taking pictures of me and my service dog, i hate being questioned constantly. Why cant they leave us alone?

I'm so sorry anon this ask got buried in my inbox but,

I wholeheartedly agree with you. Obviously I'm not talking about the people in my life who are able-bodied that care about me and aren't fucking bizarre about my wheelchair, but I do have so much fucking anxiety about going out in public simply because I'm afraid of someone deciding that I don't get to live my life that day. I've been harassed on public transportation, in grocery stores, in my fucking college classrooms, on campus. Literally anywhere in public I've been in has generated harassment (physical and verbal) against me on the basis of my wheelchair. The filthy looks I've gotten on the bus simply because I exist are fucking ridiculous.

And yet we persist. We still exist despite most able-bodied people being determined to ignore us and make life as inaccessible as possible simply by not thinking about us. That's how insidious ableism is in our society. People don't give enough of a shit to even think about us. And if they do, it's full of pity, or anger. Pity because we must not be able to have a fulfilling life, and anger because we don't contribute anything to society just by existing.

Pretty much everyone in my life has said something along the lines of "before I knew you I never realized how inaccessible everything is". Which fucking pisses me off to no fucking end. Like yeah, no shit. I'm glad that I got to be that eye-opening experience for you but what are you gonna do about it? Nothing? Ok cool. Don't get pissed when I complain about this set of stairs for the 800th time then.

That's why I stopped giving a shit about fashion. People are gonna stare and point at me anyways so I'm gonna wear my battle vest every day with the shittiest most falling apart pair of pants I own because just like everyone else on this goddamn planet I deserve to feel comfortable and happy in my own skin. Fuck anybody who says different.

Anyways, I have been having a lot of feelings lately. Thank you for the ask, anon, your rage is justified and deserves to be heard.

Peace and love on planet punk rock, unless you're a nazi or a cop!

[totaleclipse573]

hey have you ever thought about what the other guardians wouldve been like if any of them had been corrupted instead of doleon

Oh. Oh TOO often.

Allow me to introduce you to the strange brainrot I’ve been having. AT LAST AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT IT. Rant ahead. I warned you.

AKMAD. Listen. Spending his entire life enforcing the rules, being the “stubborn and stern” one at all times, never once daring to question why they couldn’t do more with the shards, step out of any boundaries or try anything new. He just followed. Did what he was told. One day for SOME reason he decides to try it…oh. That doesn’t feel bad at all.

It’s weird to his brothers, the way he slowly started to loosen up. Do whatever you want lmao it’s fine!! Nothing bad actually happens! It was all a lie!! He’s feeling so so normal about that!! Chaos ensues, specifically with the more reckless brothers like Ragnar, Lorcan and Doleon. It’s all well and good aside from that. Yk. Despite Akmad possibly spiraling. Soon after something feels…different. If one of the shards and their energy makes him feel good…feel powerful…what could all seven do? All he had were these dumb light powers he didn’t know what to do with…nothing has meaning anymore anyway! Not anything he would’ve previously thought! So why not try it?? Except…they were all connected to them. Wasting them.

He’d make a far better fit to hold all that power. He knows he would. They know he would. He should have it all to himself. He could do better. He could reject order and rules. He could be free.

I have to wonder, would the survivor of the eventual situation change? Kieran wasn’t killed because Doleon hesitated. Resisted, if you will. Because that was the one most important to him.

I can’t exactly see Erebus getting corrupted, he’d more than likely be able to see the consequences beforehand and not even try it. BUT. If somehow, he were, he’d be TERRIFYING. YOU GET WHAT I MEAN?? Unable to be stopped because he KNOWS what will be attempted. Able to plan way before. Goodness. Villain with foresight, maybe even one he’s now allowed to control. BAD IDEA (good idea it’s a bad evening for EVERYONE.) He’d be an “eerily calm until provoked and he just snaps entirely” type villain if that makes sense

Orpheus………

he’s just a big little guy I can’t do that to him 😭😭 I COULD see him getting overly curious though. Yet he’d be cautious at the same time soooo…this is a complicated one to answer tbh! If it DID somehow happen though I think it would scare him the most. Trying to ignore the sounds in his head by hanging out and being silly with his brothers like he always is!! Wanna play fight? :D

Someone gets hurt. He knows sometimes it would result in accidental pain if he wasn’t careful due to his strength but…he seriously hurt his brother. Did he break something?? It wasn’t an accident. He didn’t mean to! But it wasn’t an accident…? It felt like he had just…blacked out! He doesn’t understand! He never had the intention! He just doesn’t want to hurt anyone else!!

It’s hard to self isolate in The Dome. But when things happen, Orpheus tries it anyway. He knows it can’t last long.

Ragnar. Oh he’d work out of SPITE. FUELED BY PURE RAGE HATRED AND ALL THOSE OTHER LOVELY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. Which of course makes things soooo much worse for him specifically in the long run. Since shard energy loves negative emotion and Ragnar tends to have a lot of trouble controlling it. Maybe that blind anger was what led him to the shard energy. No Akmad what do you MEAN we’re stuck here for all eternity?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CANT CHANGE IT AT ALL?? WE DIDN’T GET TO CHOOSE THIS LIFE! THATS NOT FAIR. THATS NOT FAIR!!

Lorcan…he was pretty close in terms of overloading on shard energy. It wasn’t as much as Doleon, but he still overdid it sometimes, for the sake of having fun with his cool speedy powers! Except, he knew when to stop. Despite not being the brightest, and not really liking it, he understood that when it hurt him, he needed to rest. Doleon didn’t. He kept going. He didn’t resist it.

So, really, it would be pretty easy to corrupt Lorcan in a hypothetical like this. Maybe it’s his recklessness finally getting the better of him, maybe it’s his more caring side in the midst of a situation, but something intense is what pushes him over the limit. And now he can’t go back. But it’s not even bad!! He feels more energized than ever! So what’s even the big problem, really? He never did like rules anyway, it was all just a bunch of lies…

…Oh no. What did he do. Why did he do that. Why would he do that. How. He doesn’t even remember. What’s happening.

AND KIERAN. GOD. Im imagining a…role swap of sorts? Kind of? Not personality, not appearance, not even their roles as guardians. Just their fates. Between him and Doleon. I imagine Kieran’s main motivation would be the fact that he seems mostly powerless. Mostly useless. He thinks about that a lot…Doleon assures him he is 100% not useless. He just…hasn’t found the right way to harness his powers yet. He will one day! His big bro is sure of it!!

He hears whispers…of how he could have all the power he could ever dream of. How he could truly become something. Doesn’t he want even a liiittle taste of that? It’s so simple too! Dangerous? Now how do you know that? Has anyone tried it before? No, they haven’t. So how would they know?? Just one time..

For the events after, just reverse Kieran and Doleon. Kieran asks Doleon to help him get the other shards from where their brothers protect them. Doleon’s like ooooh okay! I mean if you’re sure it won’t do anything…look at you, all confident! He’s proud! Of course he’ll help! It sounds like it could be fun anyway!

Time passes. Kieran kills his brothers. He can’t kill Doleon though. Doleon lives. At least for now.

Should I make AU’s out of any of these. Anyone want to add onto any of these in some way? Please do if you have ideas I’m very invested in this (/nf)

[oddballcobblebot]

GOTHAM NYGMOBBLEPOT HEADCANONS!! ☂️❔

hiii !!!!! i luvv telling people my headcanons so here are some of mine!!

☂️ STARTING WITH OSWALD!! 🐧

he's autistic and has bpd!!

he struggles with textures related to his suits so he tries to get them all in a favorable texture, he loves silk and satin, cant stand velvet

left handed

he struggles with impulsive suicidal/self harm ideation due to bpd, when triggered by things he can spiral easily and become overwhelmed which causes the impulsive ideation

he likes most foods but finds some absolutely unbearable and refuses to eat them.

he has anger issues from his autism!! he gets overwhelmed which turns into rage (like me)

he lovess food, he loves trying food and is willing to eat anything ed makes about 98% of the time

if his clothes feel too restricting he will wear ed's because theyre bigger on him, but only around the house, never anywhere else

he's always been chubby even from childhood!! and was fat moreso season 5 and onward, especially after finale!

he struggles with gender identity but chooses not to label himself much, but if it were put into a term, mainly genderfluid. he uses both she/her and he/him interchangeably. lesbian freak. she is also uniromantic and is only in love with ed!!!

he has a very low self esteem and has a hard time looking in mirrors sometimes, especially after hurting his eye

he gets headaches very often but they aren't very debilitating. they are usually triggered by potent scents and lights

(secret headcanon i have he has POTS shhh)

he sometimes smokes weed when the pain in his leg is too much to handle and pain medication isn't helping

he wont ever say it, but he loves being cared for

❔ EDWARD NYGMA TIME!!! 🦉

he has npd, autism, and osdd!! he is a narc but not in the eww narcissists way, in the actual personality disorder way!!

severe sensory issues, especially towards lights and textures

hates the texture of grass

right handed

needs a near constant stream of npd supply, even if its in small ways like praising his riddles, ideas, calling him smart, etc

oswald listening to him intently is like a form of supply for him, feeling listened to is like supply

he uses she/her and he/him interchangeably like oswald, and discovered her gender identity in arkham (the last time she went for a decade...sad face), transgender lesbian!!

very very selective and picky with foods

loves to take care of oswald and cook, cooking makes it easier to cater to both of their texture needs, but they do occasionally eat out

loves infodumping to oswald about riddles and whatever is interesting him

nerm swana (turkish + arab specifically) !!

if oswald is smoking for leg pain u best bet ed is joining in!!!!!

loves to listen to oswald talk alot

he loves loves loves cats and pets the strays around gotham

he didnt ACTUALLY hate that oswald named his dog after him and found it quite endearing

🐧☂️ TOGETHER!!!!!1! NYGMARBLEPOT ❔🦉

they both love having meals together and talking about future endeavors

oswald runs the iceberg lounge after the finale, edward is also a co owner

they spend a lot of time together

oswald sleeps on the left side of the bed, edward on the right

edward helps oswald a lot when hes having problems with anger, he tries to be more logical rather than just trying to tell him to "calm down." trying to give him a solution and talking it through helps oswald more

oswald keeps candles and dim lights around the manor to help with ed's sensory problems related to lights, as well as to prevent headaches for himself too

edward helps oswald with his leg a lot, like reminding him to take medications or use his cane when needed. he is always there to remind oswald its okay to need help with things time to time

they both love listening to eachother

oswald likes drinking more than ed does, he loves gin and tonic, frozen margaritas, and martinis. ed prefers not to drink, but doesnt mind a martini either. ed doesnt drink on his own, only with oswald really

oswald became an occaisonal smoker after blackgate, using it to calm any anxiety he gets. ed doesnt like it that much and hates the smell, but he bears with it for oswalds sake. doesnt mean he doesnt try to get him to stop, though

edward loves oswalds size and constantly compliments him, he loves oswald no matter what weight he is and never comments on his body negatively ever

they both have tons of bodily scars

they are both very physically affectionate with eachother but dont really like being touched by other people at all, both are very touch avoidant when it comes to anyone but eachother

both use fem terms on eachother and refer to eachother with she/her a lot!! they both love being fem in private

ed's special interest is riddles and oswald's is penguins!!! eds always loved riddles and puzzles, while oswald learned more about them after the title was bestowed upon him. he also loves sharks!!!

THEY R IN LOVE!!!!! !!!!

thats all. bye bye!!

[fiestylittlebeetle]

What if I had Mal relapse just a little bit

Basically Azmuth comes to earth and someone has the brilliant idea to get him and Mal in a room together, cause it's been maybe a year and a half sense Mal started recovery, and he's been doing great actually

And maybe that person thought they could just talk ya know, make amends

Mal isn't having it. The moment he sees Azmuth its on sight. The anger consumes him, that little pilot light ignites a full blaze of rage.

He goes for it, he lunges and raises a fist to smash azmuth where he stands, luckily Ben is around and a couple others, they brought aether too for moral support so he's there

Ben snatches azmuth out of the way and Everyone immediately tries to get between him and Mal, and Mal is right about to split them like the red sea. Practically roaring in fury at them, and at Azmuth, like how DARE he show his face, how DARE they bring him here to see the one thing he hates more then anything in the universe. He felt betrayed by this

Aether grabs him up from behind to get him away, but Mal doesn't really realize who's lifted him and in pure reflex, to defend himself and get away he swings back as hard as he can and knocks Aether HARD in the face and to the floor.

And oh boy, when Mal, blinded by fury looks over at whoever had grabbed him up ready to deal another lethal blow, and sees Aether laying on the ground holding his head in one hand, he freezes

The rage is still there, he is blazing with it. But the cold creep of guilt rises to join it. He didn't mean to strike aether like that, he wouldn't have done it had he known it was him. Would he? He's unsure now

He looks at the faces of everyone there, everyone who helped him, aether on the ground. And he flees.

He runs. He takes his rage and his guilt and he runs. He's furious, he's furious at azmuth, he's furious at them, and he's furious at himself right now.

The worst part is he can feel the old him, rumbling to come out, to lash out at the world around him, to rip it apart and everyone in it. And it starts creeping on him

But it doesn't feel like him anymore. It's a beast inside him. And it doesn't like what he's become either, for different reasons.

The old him thinks he's pathetic. he failed once at peak power, what the hell makes him think he can do anything now. He was weak enough to lean on other people and now he's to pathetic to even face them again. What's the point of even going anymore, he should do both of them (his old self and himself now) the favor of just dying.

And it pisses him off more.

Anyway, he ends up in some salvage yard and is wrecking anything he can get his claws on, trying to think of what to do, where to go. Under the full assumption that he's returned to where he's started and burned it all to the ground.

I think this would be the ideal time to have my "malware gets kidnapped by Khyber as a trophy" idea I had.

Khyber finds him there, been tracking him sense he ended up alone again, and away from others made it the perfect time to approach.

He tries to flirt his way in at first, maybe even offers to help him again. Mal even considers the offer, remember his touch. But he also remembers when Khyber ditched him and left him at Ben's mercy. And he gets angry

Straight up tells Khyber to go fuck himself, that he's just as much of a two faced snake as anyone else. Throws him to the side

Khyber isn't having this. But he also planned what to do in the event Mal rejected his offer, and captures him through more forceful measures.

Meanwhile.

After Malware had taken off naturally everyone is a bit shocked. Pointing fingers. Azmuth snidely remarks that of course malware would behave this way, he can never change. Ben takes this with a more then a grain of salt. He reminds himself that azmuth cant always be trusted when it comes to other people, and he remembers what happened with Kevin too. But he still heirs on the side of caution about the situation

Aether is fine, just rattled by the hit he took, didn't realize Mal had that kind of force in him still. And although he is hurt emotionally from being struck by the person he cares about, he's also worried.

Everyone goes there own way. For a couple days Aether doesn't see Mal he assumes he went back to the tennyson house, and wanted to let him have his space, and his own too.

But Mal isn't there, in fact Ben, Sandra, and Carl assume he may have returned to Aether's home instead.

Aether tries to message Mal, contact him to see if he's at least ready to talk.

Nothing

Asks him to please let him know he's okay

Nothing.

Just say anything

Nothing.

A week passes and Aether can't fucking take it anymore. He's worried beyond belief. He ends up going to the Tennyson house to ask Sandra if she's seen him

Nothing

He asks Ben and rook of they've seen him.

Nothing, and if he really did relapse completely they definitely would have heard something.

Now it's a hunt. What happened to malware. There's been no destruction, no one's seen or heard from him. It's like he vanished into thin air.

They end up going to Gwen and Kevin. One them is bound to have some kind of idea. Gwen gives tracking him a shot, by now she's been learning allot from Bezel, and Spark making it easier to learn how to connect mana and machines

And it kinda works

Anyway after a bit of running around here and there, they do end up tracking him down to Khyber's ship. Finding him contained in an electromagnetic field. Beat the hell out of Khyber, and release Mal.

He's, not doing great. He's been trapped with the two worst people he could be stuck with for the past week. Himself, and Khyber. Thinking he'd lost everything again, failed at life a second time.

He feels guilty about lashing out even though he STILL believes in wanting azmuth to die. He feels guilty for everyone else though

Thinks he can't go back, thinks he doesn't deserve Aether's companionship anymore. He was born a monster, he became a bigger monster, and he's still a monster

Obviously everyone disapproves of this mind set. Especially Aether, Gwen, Kevin, and Sandra.

And ya know, none of them are therapists, but relapsing is normal. Even Kevin admits to his own relapsing and look where he is now.

It's a hard pill to swallow. Mal apologizes to Aether for striking him, he genuinely did not want to hurt Aether, never thought of hurting him on purpose.

Aether forgives him cause he believes what he says. (And Mal is telling the truth)

No one is gonna try and bring Azmuth around in Mal's presence again for sure. Lessons learned all around.

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

Ohhh, "A Mask Of My Own Face" is such a Rin song for sure!! Another song that I think really captures those Nohara vibes, for your consideration, is definitely "My Alcoholic Friends" by The Dresden Dolls! :]

What other songs do you think fit her well? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

ohhh man that's so true... that's so true... i know that its like. not About her but that DOESNT matter imagining characters to songs is ALWAYS about the vibes. like.

thats rin!!! right there that's her!!!!!

HEAD IN HANDS. HER FEAR OF BEING KNOWN + DISTASTE TOWARDS BEING A SHINOBI + INABILITY TO IMAGINE HERSELF AS ANYTHING ELSE.

anyways lol. i put a list of other music i associate with her under the cut because i got into the details a little more than i intended to,,, lmao

ocean breathes salty by modest mouse-

youll never guess why this one is on the list lol

GOD. you know. i dont think i even have a concrete explanation for why this rings so true with rin's character but like. you guys see my vision right.

idk the animatic in my head is kind of like,,, rin killing herself as an act of spite. you know.

its the sanbi!!! you see it you see my vision!!!

AND YOU SEE. HOW THE HELL COULD SHE MIND. SURELY ALL SHE EVER FEELS IS CONSUMING APATHY SURELY THE RAGE AND DESPAIR SHE FEELS ARENT AS REAL BECAUSE IF THEY WERE SHE WOULD SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THEM.

and the resentment about people not knowing her despite the fact that she would actually pass away on the spot if anyone knew her!!!!! falls to the ground dramatically. theres something there.

kitchen fork by jack conte-

ok i'll be real the lyrics for this one dont actually super match up with anything in my head really? like nothing is specifically *rin* its more the music. idk. give it a listen and let me know if im talking any sense at all.

that's why i gave up on music (i like the english cover by rachie)-

song about being torn away from something you love doing and then finally clawing your way back to it and realizing that you dont derive the same joy from it that you once did. now this didnt happen to rin in canon but it IS literally one of the most in-character things she could possibly do (perfectly in line with the way she idealizes her "true self" and denies herself joy if she can come up with an ulterior motive for her actions(IDIOT)) and so. lmao.

like. lmaooooooo

ohhh its the acceptance and the like,,, she KNOWS shes gonna die thats *the only way this story ends.* and shes fine with the dying part. but what if people remember the wrong her??? what if people remember the RIGHT her?? she cant control her image once shes dead!!!!!!

LOCAL PRE-TEEN GIRL IS ONCE AGAIN ATTRIBUTING HER DEPRESSION TO THE FACT THAT SHE IS INTRINSICALLY EMPTY AND IS UNABLE TO FIND HER" TRUE SELF."

T_T

runaway by aurora -

not sure that the vibes of this song are like,,, anything rin would ever admit to herself. because its very much mournful of lost childhood methinks??? and rin hates to acknowledge injustice she experiences with anything besides anger. but you know. i still think theres smth to it.

:|

oh you know. the problems. and the inevitability. the tragedy of team minato was not that they fell apart in the way they did but that they were going to fall apart no matter what ect ect

EMOTIONAL REPRESSION. ok next song ^_^

buzzcut season by lorde-

infinite tsukyomi core? girls when everything they know is an illusion they are willingly believing in because reality is militaristic and horrifying. i actually think ive posted about this before?

yeah you feel me. rin "emotional repression child soldier" belongs here.

and like,,, favorite friend as reference to obt and kks idolizing her but neither of them being as close to her as they are to each other.... OUGHHHH

around the bend by cheesy hfj-

yes this is the credits music for an object show. yes you should watch said object show one is actually really interesting. anyways. look at this shit.

this is literally like theeeee rin watching team minato move on without her like. its about how rin is dead and gone and kks+obt are nt!!! !!! and there's lingering resentment of course, but theres also like,,, idk,,, i think rin thinks a lot more fondly of them once she's dead. you know.

idont even know if this makes sense but To Me its sooo rin. all evenings DO be closing like this.

rose by the oh hellos

let me be real. every oh hellos song ever is on the list of "songs i make rin animatics to in my head" but i dont know if they all deserve to be there because my peak oh hellos phase coincided suspiciously with the beginning of my rin obsession and. there is bias there. i stand by rose tho because like !!!!

THIS IS LITERALLY JUST OBITO DOING HIS WHOLE DEAL!!!! LIKE THIS IS LITERALLY JUST THAT WHOLE THING!!!! INCREDIBLE

and her problems with identity! and her difficulty being honest with anyone including herself!!!!

CAN ANYONE HEAR ME

wails. this is literally a song about assigning meaning through perception and misinterpreting the person you are using to justify all of your actions. head in hands. im not even reaching this is just Straight Up Her

anyways. thanks for the ask it was fun to scrounge through my music!!! ^_^ big big fan of rambling in ways that do not always make logical sense <3 life could be a dream

[j3st3r-13]

jimmy and michael parallels

so i was watching the reuniting the family mission and the conversation between jimmy and m is fucking insane because they completely parallels one another. 

these ate some quotes 

“im a fat shit that you ruined!” this is said by jimmy however it works in michaels perspective too, you could argue that his family “ruined“ the old Michael. they also both clearly have low self-esteem issues.

 “your just a lame and angry psycho sometimes,” jimmy says to Michael but jimmy could be considered an angry psycho. when gaming jimmy trolls and torments others on the game to such extreme lengths that someone actually kidnaps and tries to kill him over it. and it’s pretty well known that jimmy is lame and I think tracey calls him lame multiple times. im pretty sure that her main insult to him which is far too much of a coincidence.

“I get so mad and I can’t control things.” jimmy talking about himself but this quote alone sums up Mikey’s character perfectly. although jimmy talking about the helplessness he feels in his own life probably due to his unique upbringing and his clear low self-esteem, it is far too much of a coincidence that this quote can also be about Michael and how his anger and his inability to keep in control is what sets the game into motion. he pulls down madrazos house in a blind rage which means the vangelico job and Trevor coming back. and back in Yankton he couldnt control Trevor and brad, which leads to the actual game. this quote is followed by “shit just falls on top of me.” jimmy talking about how he’s struggling to navigate his parent’s rough marriage and finding his place in the world but in therapy, michael complains that it’s all getting on top of him and he’s lost on what to do.

“I wanna say I love you and hug it out but all that wimpy shit is just...... lame” the ellipsis is where jimmy goes on about his gay friends which ill will mention in a minute but anyway. Jim has probanly picked up struggling to open up from his parents, im willing to bet money on Amanda and michael haven’t said I love you and mean it since north Yankton, which is proven to hurt kids. Michael himself also struggles to tell his family how much they mean to him when i play I thought that Amanda thinks that Michael doesnt love them, he does but just cant express it all that well. also michaels family never like hug or anything, with franklin m gives him fistbumps which he doesnt with his family the most that they’re touching one another is the occasional bump into one another. 

“I would say gay but that’s not cool anymore.” jimmy talking about his gay friends rn but if you watch the actual cutscene look at Michaels face he looks angry and a little scared. looks like denial to me. as someone who was part of the LGBTQ community i can see the gay denial ive experienced it myself. and rockstars aren’t complete idiots they knew what we would think about M and T. they hint at it themselves and the fact that jimmy talks to him about being gay?? too much of a coincidence for me. it also speaks volumes about how repressed and in the closet Mikey is, he gets angry/ scared when his family talks about being gay. I wanna shake mike until it clicks that he’s fucking gay. 

“im so upset that we can’t even see each other,” jimmy says this to mike but we know for a fact that Michael is heartbroken when Amanda and the kids move out. paralleling each other again!!

“your just a drunk lame dad.” “you know what, that’s the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.” how often is jimmy insulted in the game, not only in missions but you overhear it all the time. so swap whos speaking to who and it still makes sense. jimmy is prolly so staved from regongition from his father, look how much jimmy copies him and his ideals/ thoughts. to me? seems like he’s trying to mirror him so mike starts treating him like a son (this one kinda got away from me tbh)

then jimmy ruins the mood and asks for a car. amazing. 

I love this game so much because all of it has much-hidden meaning and it’s so fun to analyze. im not saying I like jim, in fact, i hate him cause he is so annoying but,. It shows how much effect michael's behaviour and words affect the rest of the family. im so glad that they went to family therapy. sorry that this is so long but i just had to give my thoughts on this, we analyze amanda and michaels relationship but never anything with the kids. idk really but yeah

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I cant remember if i already sent in an ask, but i dont know what to do. Seven months ago, my dad relapsed back into his alcoholism. One night he got drunk, left my mom in an empty parking lot where my brother and I had to pick her up, and when we got home he had trashed all her things and threw her stuff out onto the front steps. It isn't the first time he's done this, my whole child it's all I can really remember him doing, but for awhile things were okay. Once he saw us though, he was an animal. He attacked my brother and they fought and we all had to pin my dad down while he screamed he'd kill us all. Once we thought it was okay to let him up, he lunged for my mom and my brother took the hit and they fought again. I had to call his brother, my uncle, to try and reason or stop him.

He nearly starts fighting my uncle, breathing heavily and his eyes just wild. I remember staring him dead in the face while he threatened he'd put a 40 in our skulls and kill us. That night we grabbed what we could and slept at my uncle's. The next morning, he felt guilty and apologized repeatedly but I blocked his number and refused to speak or see him. I still live at home though, meaning I'm still in a way in contact with him.

I'm done. I can't take it anymore, and what's worse is I'm alone in this decision. My dad is by no means a perfect person, I'm not either, nobody is. But this was too much and I've made my choice. My mother keeps trying to convince me to heal and accept my dad because he's an addict and given different circumstances, if I had an addiction or eating disorder, they wouldn't just abandon me right? But it's not the same, it really isn't.

I do have an eating disorder, I have CPTSD, I'm in pain and have been for a long time but I handle it and it's not something I let them see or know. What's his excuse. He's been abusive, manipulative, vile, and I can't forgive him.

I guess recently my dad had a small heart attack, and who knows maybe he'll die soon. But I don't feel anything about it. There's no anger, no sadness, no rage, just nothing. Maybe I'm in shutdown. Regardless, I'm not sure what's right anymore. I'm going to be saving up to move out, and if I don't have enough then I'll live in my car. He can kick me out for all I care. I can't stay anymore, not here.

Rent is insane where I live, I'm not sure how long it'll take for me to save or if I'll even achieve this goal, but I need to do something. Everyday gets worse and I can't keep waiting for another bomb to go off, or for my mother to comfort me by saying "the bomb is okay, accept it." She asked me to go a therapy session with her you know, mother daughter therapy. At first I agreed but after what she said today, she can forget it. Even after all this time, she doesn't understand. She never will.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. There is absolutely no obligation to forgive him. It's reasonable to resent him even if his behavior is related to substance abuse or whatever other excuse is given. Even if someone adequately takes accountability for their actions (which it sounds like he doesn't) you still don't have to forgive them, and it doesn't mean you aren't allowed to still feel hurt. It almost sounds like your mom is an enabler. You've seen a long pattern of violent, threatening, and hurtful behavior from your father, and so it makes sense why it's so hard to be convinced that he's something better. It's okay to not worry or even grieve if your dad passes away, especially in context. Do consider that if these violent episodes continue, it may be necessary to call the authorities, though it can definitely be easier said than done.

Although I completely understand your reasons for not wanting to go to therapy with your mom, being able to speak with a therapist could potentially help you a lot in processing these experiences and your feelings surrounding them, regardless of whether or not your mom benefits from it. It could be an opportunity to meet with that therapist individually as well, and they may be able to see the situation for what it truly is.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions feel free to add on, otherwise I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun