#feel nostalgic for nonexistent things | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

famouslydreamysky · 2 months ago

Text

you never remembered much about your early youth. most of your "memories" were jumbled fragments of random places and events that never even happened; yet you always seemed to dream about them. it was as if your whole existence from ages 1-4 was a never-ending, senseless dream that you continued to have flashbacks of even as you got older.

it all started with this one specific place. a place you felt like you remembered so well, but knew deep down it never could've existed; a place so close, yet so far. it was a giant waterpark that you swore you frequented as a young kid. it gave you such a euphoric feeling that you'd never felt before. such a nostalgia for a place that never even existed. it had 5 main watersides that now looked disheveled and abandoned, unnaturally large fake play houses used as swimming pools and bars, multiple pools, and an underground youth swim area with seemingly endless winding halls of tiles that enveloped every area from top to bottom.

you remember the time of day; twilight. the sky gleaming a beautiful neon pink and deep blue as the rest of the world was engulfed in darkness. you were there all alone after closing with only a flashlight to help guide the way. you came prepared to swim in your swimsuit, yet all the pools lacked any water. this didn't make sense though, the last time you checked, it was the middle of the summer, and you had just been there just a week prior. nonetheless, you still slowly inch your way around the park despite your gut telling you to just go home as you really had nothing to do.

as you're wondering what to do or where to go next, you suddenly notice the signs. so. many. signs. all claiming the same thing: "Waterpark now closed for good due to multiple reports of children going missing." you're taken aback; since when was this an issue? after pondering these signs for a bit, you realize that you aren't supposed to be there. you don't know what made you think going to a waterpark at this time was reasonable in the first place, but now, due to the endless array of alarming signs, you know that you are not welcome in the slightest.

however, as soon as you make up your mind in the midst of this chaos, the continuous sounds of cars completely disappear; the little amount of streetlight that was helping illuminate your journey was gone, and the noise of the forest surrounding you was nonexistent. you freeze in fear, knowing that what you got yourself into was not safe and likely otherworldly.

while you are consumed in anxiety, you can not help the feeling of curiosity. you suddenly feel the urge to explore the place while you're alone and free; so you begin to do just that. you wander around, so familiar yet so unknown. after a bit you decide to search for the exit, knowing you need to find a way to leave, but everywhere you turn leads to another road guiding you through the never-ending maze that is this "waterpark." hours pass as you lead yourself deeper, but the sky seems as though no time had passed at all. you recognize that you are exactly where you had began. the fear sets in as you realize you may never get out.

in the midst of it all, though, you still feel a sense of safety. a sense of nostalgic and almost comforting familiarity that is slowly but surely pulling you in. you feel like you were put in this exact situation for a reason; that it was supposed to make you feel like this. so, you act upon it. even whilst feeling an impending sense of dread, you are able to find joy in the too-small water slides and rickety old equipment. the euphoric feeling of it all was just too intense to ignore.

you rejoice in the freedom of this situation until you, once again, realize the direness of it: you are trapped in this endless maze of a place that is so performatively nostalgic and comforting and you cannot find an exit.

you get out of the unnaturally large house you were lingering in and realize that it's once joyful and childish details were slowly morphing into something undescribable; something so disturbing that you couldn't help but run in the opposite direction.

you sprint until you end up in front of the underground and overly-tiled kids pools. you bend down to catch your breath as you had just completed the most nerve-wracking sprint of your life. you don't know how far you had gone, but far enough that those "houses" were far from view. you feel relieved until you realize that this amount of distance was not possible in the "normal park"; it was simply not that big. wherever you were was not the same as before, and, therefore, it must've been changing and growing almost infinitely.

with nowhere else to go, you view the bright-white fluorescent lights of this undergroung kiddie-pool as a savior in the endless darkness of this incessant night. so, you enter. you don't care about leaving anymore, you just want to go somewhere light, familiar, and refreshing. however, as soon as you step in, you are finally able to understand the true size of this place. there are spiraling halls on either side of you, and you do not know which way to turn. the blinding bright white disorients you as you enter in deeper until you realize that something is off; you're feeling the unnatural presence of someone or something else.

you freeze, unknowing of what to do. after spending so many hours alone in this place, you know that the presence of other life is extremely unusual and alarming. you slowly and unsurely turn your head towards the entrance, terrified of what may be lurking, when you recognize the face of your beloved friend.

"what are you doing here???" you softly mutter; you're so petrified you can barely speak. you ambly wait for a response when you realize that something is wrong, very wrong. while her head looks normal, the rest of her body is unnaturally tall and thin. that is not your friend. that is something using your friends identity to lure you in.

you turn in the only direction possible: deeper into the pool. your measly attempts at running through the 3 foot water are uselss, so you resort to the next best thing: swimming. while it was difficult due to the shallowness of the water, you were still able to get somewhat far. you don't know how long you had swam for, but enough that you had no idea where you or that creature was. you're sure you heard something chasing you, but at that point, you didn't even know. you slowly exit the pool only to realize that the room you were in now was much bigger than the starting hallway. in fact, you had no idea how this size of room was even feasible under these limited conditions. however, nothing made sense in this place anyway, so you don't pay much mind to it.

you don't hear anything behind you, so you keep wandering. the crystal clear, turquoise water glistened in the artificial sunlight that those weird and random "windows" provided. the endless array of bright white tiles surrounding you distort your vision as you explore; the rooms only getting wierder and weirder as you continue. suddenly, you are presented with a dark spiral staircase. with nowhere else to turn, you hesitantly walk up it.

it seemed endless. you had been hiking up those stairs for at least ten minutes, and you still couldn't see the top. the darkness engulfs you as you resume your climb. all until you feel something. you can not see anything due to the immense lack of light, but you feel something cold and lanky grab you by your shoulder. you aren't able to see it until it's inches away from your face; it is your friend. or whatever creature that was robbing your friends identity. it is all you can see until the stairs are no longer under your feet. whatever it was had suddenly pushed you off.

you free fall for what feels like hours. feelings of confusion and fear pulse through your body like your blood. you don't know how that thing got up there, but you know now that you are dead.

your thoughts consume you until you hit the ground; you wake up in a daze. you don't know what just happened or what world you had just traveled to, but you know that it felt so real. you were able to feel every hit and movement, see everything, know everything about your surroundings, and feel every emotion that came with it all. it all felt too realistic to be just a dream, but that was what it had to be. you spent the day pondering what that dream was, and if this place even existed. it felt so real, you were fully convinced it did. you don't know where you had transported that night, but you know it was more than just a dream.

#liminal #liminal spaces #backrooms #the backrooms #dreamcore #dreams #otherworldly #wierdcore #story #dream story #short story #tumblr fyp #bacon egg and cheese #deez nuts #fyp #dreamy #unknown #poolrooms #liminal pool

22 notes · View notes

wistfulcynic · 2 years ago

Text

a non-izzy-centric reading of the events of season two

i didn't really want to get into this because it's so, so tiresome and i'd rather talk about the things i loved about this season. Poison, positivity, etc. But.

reading this post about people doubting their own judgement due to the overwhelming noise from Izzy stans along with a rewatch of season two from start to finish made me realise that i too had been influenced by a year and a half of being intensely frustrated by people insisting so loudly that OFMD was in fact the Izzy Hands Show. My initial issues with S2 mostly stemmed from overcompensating for that by resenting any development of Izzy on the screen because i did not want it to feed those people. Which meant that i also was centring Izzy in a way that he should not be centred! i was letting their noise lead me to read him as far more important than he actually is.

So i looked back at several points from the season that had me feeling uncomfortable and which, from a cursory browse through the Izzy tag i've concluded his stans see as a contradiction or a betrayal or something and re-evaluated them from the perspective of Izzy not being a main fucking character.

point one: "He's our dick."

When Archie (a newcomer and therefore a fairly effective audience stand-in for anyone not balls deep in fandom bullshit) asks Jim why they're going to so much trouble for Izzy, who she has immediately clocked as "kind of a dick", Jim gives this response. Which, if you think Izzy is important, may read as an expression of reluctant fondness. But then, Jim continues: "There was a time when life meant something on this ship. When we lived for each other, not just to survive." These lines are punctuated by a flashback to the famous Revenge crew found-family Renaissance-painting moment. Jim is nostalgic for the "good old days" of the Revenge under Stede's people-positive management style. It is out of respect for that (seemingly) lost way of life that they take the trouble for Izzy, not for Izzy himself. They'd have done the same for anyone, because they desperately want life to matter again. Izzy, as the person whose gamy leg is a direct result of his threatening Ed and bringing the kraken era down on all of them, is simply the one whose life happens to be on the line.

(honestly, i love this from Jim, who was one of Stede's boldest detractors in season one and still the crew member most likely to call him out on his bullshit. That's your "reluctant fondness" moment right there.)

point two: the new unicorn

apparently Izzy stans see the gift of the unicorn leg prosthetic as a symbol of deep love and respect from the crew to Izzy. Which is an absolutely wild reading when you look at what led up to it.

There's tension on the ship. Divisions. Lucius is chain-smoking and jump-scared by his own shadow. Jim, Archie, Frenchie, and Fang are overcome by guilt over their mutiny and frantically scrubbing nonexistent blood from the deck in what is a fantastically darkly funny Lady Macbeth moment for them. Izzy is sloppy drunk and yelling nonsensical abuse at the unicorn masthead. Roach, Pete, Oluwande, and Wee John make a well-intentioned but ill-conceived attempt to bring everyone back together (i say "everyone" but Izzy, significantly, is not included) which leads to them all being at each other's throats in the sort of mutually-assured-destruction configuration that starts world wars. It's a great scene. Izzy is not a part of it.

until he interrupts them, throws the unicorn legs at them and in his drunken clumsiness breaks his prosthetic. He then pointedly refuses their offers of assistance and drags himself away along the floor by his arms.

my friends. This is peak pathos. The crew do not respect Izzy in this moment, they feel sorry for him. They realise that he's worse off than any of the rest of them and that knowledge brings them back together. Making the unicorn prosthetic is barely about Izzy at all. It's about the crew coming together, repairing the rifts in their found family and as a bonus helping out their grumpy second cousin who doesn't really want to be there but has nowhere else to go. It's also a very generous offer of a new place on the ship--as the new unicorn--and a fresh start. Because that's what life on the Revenge is. For everyone.

point three: la vie en rose

much has been made of Izzy putting on drag makeup and singing at the Calypso birthday party, and fair enough. That's a big character development point for him. i don't hate it, though i wish there'd been more build-up to it, a longer conversation between Izzy and Wee John at least (insert obligatory "fuck Max" here) but regardless, if we accept Izzy's amputated leg as cutting off his old self and replacing it with the unicorn then we can arrive at a place where he's able to participate in a drag performance without too much cognitive gymnastics.

i've written before about the curious choice to have Izzy sing La Vie En Rose in French (after he initially sang it in English) at the very moment when Ed and Stede are having sex for the first time. On first watch i felt viscerally troubled by it, it felt like a validation of the obsessive psychosexual reading of Izzy's feelings for Ed. Looking at the season as a whole, it feels more like a (cringy, creepy, waaaay over the line) attempt on his part to signal approval for Ed and Stede's relationship. Especially when taken in conjunction with his (super creepy, like wtf who greenlit this) interruption of their breakfast in bed the next morning to make a ham-fisted innuendo. Weird but okay i guess, it's not like Izzy and social niceties have ever gone hand in hand.

many people point to the drag scene as the crew embracing Izzy and welcoming him as one of them. Again, i don't disagree. But, also again, this is not specific to Izzy. This is just what they do. They also embraced Archie with her snake-cult stories, they re-embraced Ed (who yes, they do love, refutations of arguments that they don't love Ed are a whole other essay though) and later they embrace Zheng and Auntie and also Jackie who once stole their savings jar and threatened to cut off their noses. That's what they do! They embrace people! That's what the show is about!

point four: the death scene

i have to be honest, i still hate this. i don't hate that Izzy died, i hate that he died in Ed's arms with Ed calling him his only family. That still feels unearned to me, and alas was probably another victim of the shortened season. But even with this extremely kind and forgiving death scene, the stans are not satisfied! They feel that the entire crew should have been gathered round, assuring Izzy of their profound love for him. There should have been weeping at the funeral, wailing and gnashing of teeth, rending of garments etc. It's what he deserves as such a beloved member of the crew!

except he wasn't beloved. He was accepted, yes. Welcomed, even. But acceptance is a far cry from love. Cheering as someone sings a song at a party does not mean you feel ready to weep at their deathbed or proclaim your undying affection for them.

yet even so, the crew are visibly distraught at his death scene. There are tears in many eyes! But effusive declarations of feeling from any one of them other than Ed would have felt (to anyone not convinced Izzy is the main character) completely wrong and very weird. You can headcanon what you like to fill the gaps in canon but on screen we have seen very few meaningful interactions between Izzy and any of the existing crew aside from Fang and Lucius and to a lesser extent Wee John. Izzy's primary relationship with another character is with Ed and so, as much as i still don't like it, Ed is the only one who has any real reason to be at Izzy's side as he dies.

as for the brevity of the funeral and the fact that they went straight from it to Pete and Lucius's wedding instead of having, idk, a prolonged wake at which everyone speaks at length about how important Izzy was to them, i mean. Obviously that wasn't going to happen. More than enough screen time had already been given to a side character who spent most of it either being miserable himself or making others so. It was time for the rest of them to find some moments of joy. As Izzy himself said, not moving on is worse.

in conclusion, i'd like to address the people saying that Izzy should have lived so he could continue his arc of self-discovery and sure, that would have been great--on the Izzy Hands Show. But OFMD is about Ed and Stede and Izzy had served his purpose in their story. i feel certain there will be copious fanfics to soothe anyone who feels Izzy was shortchanged.

on the show, though, he was treated in a very logical and foreseeable way as the antagonist who was able to see the light at the end but not necessarily to thrive in such a well-lit environment. Literature (by which i mean also films and tv) abounds with examples of this sort of character. They see the error of their ways but they are too stuck in them, shaped by them, to exist comfortably in any other way. They help bring about change to benefit others and not for themselves, that is the bittersweet beauty of their endings.

Izzy let Ed go. He embraced the softer parts of himself. He died surrounded by people who may not have loved him but at least accepted him as one of their own and felt genuine sorrow about his passing. That is a satisfying narrative end for a reformed antagonist! If you truly feel that he was shortchanged by it then you have forgotten what show you're watching and what sort of character he was.

Izzy Hands: not the main character, still an interesting one, absolute nightmare, what a guy.

#our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd season two #izzy critical #the izcourse #izzy hands meta #sorry not sorry to people who are going to hate this post but writing it has been therapeutic for me #i'm tired of hating a character on a show i love so much so i shall go back to thinking of him as the nasty rat man and focusing on faves #saira has Thoughts

383 notes · View notes

pickyourpoisonandevolve · 8 months ago

Text

Thanksgiving Drabble w/ the 141 + Black Reader

Notes/warnings: just a fluff piece from me. I don’t know how to do drabbles/imagines but I SURE DO enjoy reading them and I have a brain baby to birth. Idk if this is TOO specific for a drabble but reader is black/female/american. Because those things aren’t often represented in these! And also I can do what I want at the end of the day. Just… just walk with me here.

—

The military is an easy place to forget that your squadmates are real actual people with families and backgrounds, on account of the inherent assimilation. Not that it wasn’t needed, but you get so busy creating your own language and communication styles that I think being able to express cultural habits and likes get a little seldom.

All that to say, you and Gaz LOVE to cook together, as it makes you nostalgic for your respective families. And you’ll be damned if these Brits make you skip Thanksgiving. The rest met your enthusiasm with “fucking Americans” but Gaz thankfully was more than happy to join you in the prep, you both bonding in hatred for the same old shit from the base kitchen. But most of the base is gone so you lot have the kitchen and common room to yourself, and that means you and Gaz are making a FEAST.

Pulling greens, the dishes that take 6-8 hours to make, the shit talking, the hyper specific recipes that you bicker about, the music played. You both are IN IT, and Johnny, Simon and Price didn’t have anywhere else to be, and are more than happy to eat what you make. (As they aren’t the most talented cooks of the bunch) Sausage rolls and chip buttys a Thanksgiving does not make.

It tickles the other three to walk by occasionally, listening to you to just… talk. And vibe. About old experiences, moving in tandem, bitching occcasionally. It had a spooky parallel to how you all worked in the field, seamlessly in sync, but the juxtaposition of it being wholesome. You all got to live in a temporary bubble of normalcy and domesticism. Like a big weird family, you could forget you all killed people for a living.

Price had shit to do, so he did flybys through the day, but they increased in frequency as it went on, his smile growing each time. His little grinch heart growing, seeing his team get along. You tossed cookies at him, hoping to get a rise out of him, but all you were met with was a “thanks, love” and a wink. You made a mental note to do that at a frequency of everyday forever.

Soap didn’t want to miss anything (or feel left out) so he kept to his favorite things: “watching TV” aka TikToks and passively watching a show, interjecting in conversations and stealing food when no one was looking. (Everyone was looking and he was slapped and yelled at A LOT)

Ghost was just unfamiliar with this intimate of camaraderie. He stopped in occasionally for tea, which Gaz and you started making for him. You could see his little eye crinkles as you prepared his tea just like he liked it.

Gaz and you started singing together as you plated the meal on the kitchen island. The rest of the team was holding a flight pattern in the common area, pulled in like the smell lines in an old timey cartoon, scotch already prepped and poured. But there was a moment where you two got swept up in your comfortability, and started singing in earnest. (This song in particular) You two didn’t make it a habit of getting too relaxed in front of the others, big tough soldiers and all, so this was a rare, near nonexistent sight.

Better days comin' for sure

If this world were—

If it was up to me

I wouldn't give these nobodies no sympathy

I'd take away the pain, I'd give you everything

I just wanna see you win, wanna see

If this world were mine

The three on the couch looked back with open mouths and smiles as you carried on. Literal years you all have worked together, how did they not know you two sang, and HARMONIZED? Did you practice?

You noticed first, brought back to reality and almost dropping a dish. Scandalized! Embarassed! Blushing furiously! Gaz thankfully was impervious to their bullshit, and told them to fuck off and come eat. Typical soldiers, couldn’t sit down proper for anything, food included, so you all settled into conversation and a full meal standing around the island. Enjoying the bubble, enjoying the peace, enjoying the moment.

Johnny, Price and Simon graciously offered to do dishes and clean. (Leftovers for days!) And after a while, you all dispersed. Soap stole a half of a pie and was inbound on falling asleep with his pants unbuttoned on the couch. Ghost was tactically figuring out how to look aloof and fall asleep on Soaps shoulder. Gaz had family (and a lady, you suspected) to FaceTime and Price hung behind you on the way to the barracks. Before you made your good nights, he offered to share a new bottle of bourbon his Nan sent in his room. Super casual. No pressure. Maybe he could hear your pretty voice sing just for him this time.

(This Drabble is sponsored by holidays, KDots new album, and an excuse to flirt with Price. Happy Thanksgiving, Americans are all on native land, and fuck Columbus)

#cod modern warfare #cod drabble #john price x reader #sorta!?#but friends #fluff #Drabble #I will kiss price in every timeline #black reader #ghoap #if you squint #I just think they’re neat #cod x reader #cod mw2 #Gaz and reader are cooking #literally and metaphorically #my work

44 notes · View notes

queserasora · 10 months ago

Text

Nanami Kento x Reader | JJK Series | Fem! Reader, She/Her Part 2 WORD COUNT: 4,658 words (too many) CW: NSFW / bad driving do NOT attempt in real life, a bratty y/n is bratty, slightly sadistic nanami?, dom nanami, bondage lite, groping, oral female receiving, fire, explosions, a little bit of public nudity, smoking A BAD SUMMARY: The one where y/n sets the rental car on fire, nanami gets choked with his own tie, and both end up smoking by the fire.

You and your infinite patience were at your limit.

the heat was insubordinate. the uniform was unnecessarily restrictive. this pairing? simply the worst case scenario.

brown eyes reflect back at you through the rear view mirror; you look away from your own to stare at the knitted brows of the driver. he hasn't said a word since he started driving twenty minutes ago. part of you is thankful for the quiet; a nice little reprieve for gojo satoru constantly reminding you how much he loves the sound of his own voice.

nanami’s voice; however—low, and thick like raw honey—always oozes around you when he speaks. for his words, no matter how curt or succinct, you never minded getting sticky.

the only problem was that the air in the moving car was bone dry.

you swallow a sigh and roll your eyes away from the reflection of his forehead in the mirror. you focus instead on the moving cars flying past you, the blurry trees and buildings in the distance; buildings full of people living their quiet mundane lives unaware of the evils you and your comrades face regularly. perhaps if you focus your bitter feelings on them, and not on the electrifying presence of the person next you, you can muster enough courage to start a conversation yourself.

words purr like a starting engine in the back of your mouth, and falter there, sputtering back into nonexistence.

you were starting to wonder if you were an idiot. A massive one at that.

the weight of your blush crushes your cheeks. The heat inside the car intensifies; drops of sweat slide down the back of your neck, and down your chest where they lay down to die between your breasts. without thinking further, you undo the top two buttons of your white dress shirt. once again you were reminded of how unreasonable the uniform was. in whose right mind did they think this kind of business attire was appropriate or even efficient?

a thirst gnaws at you with dull teeth; not sharp enough to draw blood but enough to bruise. you lick your lips at the discomfort, anything for some kind of reprieve.

“Nanamin!” you sing, turning your torso to place an elbow on the headrest of the passenger seat. lips stretch into a mischievous grin.

Nanami Kento looks at you sideways behind his dark glasses; not that you notice. he finds your facial expression absolutely predatory; a hyena waiting for scraps.

“Nanamin?” he repeats tilting his head slightly as he focuses on the road ahead of them. “You’ve been spending too much time with Gojo.”

you sigh before you can help it. your body instinctively moves away, and turns to face the front of the car once more. “Ehh,” you whine with a shrug. “I can’t say you’re wrong but it’s not like I have a choice. Nobody else wants to partner with me.”

pitiful, that's what you were. Not strong enough to go on solo missions, but too intolerable to have a steady partner. you prop your elbow on the passenger door and cradle your chin on a closed fist. Once again the quickly passing scenery makes you feel a tiny bit nostalgic.

“That’s because you don’t know how to follow orders,” Nanami responds hotly. this was the reason he had moaned when given the mission details, and the knowledge that you had been assigned as his partner. “If you would just listen and think before you–”

“What's the point?” you cut him off, dark eyes still cast on the distant buildings. “You told me yourself once. All of us in this line of business will die one way or the other. It’s not a choice. The only thing we can choose, the only thing we have control over, is how we die. So let me die how I want.”

“Did I say that?” he retorts. he feels his jaw tense as he bites down. he doesn't recall and he usually remembers everything he says, but with you, every meeting was always a heated blurr of strange occurrences. he would feel dizzy for days after, thinking of you in the middle of work. it annoyed him almost as much as working over time did. why would he have to preoccupy himself with you off duty? it was simply unacceptable.

“Didn’t you?” you spit back, and look over at him with raised brows. your head tilts, almost mockingly and he glances at you briefly. his fingers flex and grasp the wheel tighter. it was all he could do to keep himself from smacking the back of your head. he grunts in response if only to get you to stop staring at him.

you consider this a little victory and smile to yourself as you kick off your kitten heels. you stop to think about his reaction for only a split second before you put your feet up in the dash. you hear him start to protest.

“Oh, come on!” you beg. your hands clap together once and remain there to pray for a miracle. “It’s so hot, it’s so hot. They’re just feet!”

what you really wanted was to take off your blazer and button down shirt but that was inadvisable. Nanami would most definitely be uncomfortable with that and in turn that would only excite you more. just thinking about his flushed face forces you to take a deep breath; anything to slow down your racing heart.

appearances were everything so you place your folded hands behind your back, feet still on the dash. your eyes search for any crack in nanami’s facade. It was hard to find anything from his profile; all you saw was a sharp jawline and a fleshy bottom lip.

You stare a breath too long, and he looks over at you briefly.

“What is it?” he asks, a brow high on his forehead, challenging you. your tongue darts out to moisten dry lips. it barely helps. you still feel parched and you were still, last you checked, a feen for challenges, impossible and possible alike.

“I’m really hot,” you state in an uneven tone. breathing suddenly felt complicated. how the hell did that happen? “Do you mind?” you don't wait for his answer and take off your blazer, stretching white fabric moistened with sweat against your chest as you move.

Nanami didn’t often curse but he felt this time would be appropriate. still, he refrains, glancing desperately between you and the road. knuckles turn white with worry as he grips the steering wheel tighter and tighter.

“What are you doing?” Nanami spits between clenched teeth, every syllable forced and controlled. “Put it back on.”

“I refuse,” you say, throwing the blazer towards the backseat with one hand. Your other hand found more buttons to undo, at least two more. Cleavage exposed now, you breathe a sigh. The cold air coming from the air conditioning vent caressing the top of your breasts felt as if heaven sent. You could only think of very few things better than this.

as if possessed, your eyes glance at nanami’s face, and his mouth—the divinity of which you only wish you knew from personal experience. His face was covered in pink splotches. your eyes dart from his cheeks to his neck. you can’t help but wonder if his chest is the type to become splotchy as well. you desperately want to find out. the longer you stare, the more you see the vein on his forehead bulge. you try to bite back a chuckle but it doesn’t work very well. you hope he didn’t hear but you know he did. You can tell by the way his shoulders tense further.

He moans your name like a curse, like a burden. You feel your stomach dip uncomfortable. Guilt wades through the mess of emotions filling you, trying to ruin your bit of fun. You try to squash it, stomp it out, chewing desperately on the inside of your cheek until you draw blood.

“Tell me something,” he finally says in a guttural whisper.

“Mmm?” you’re distracted by the taste of iron in your mouth, by your own thoughts. perhaps you had gone too far–again. perhaps this will be the last time. the real last time.

“Do you not see me as a man?”

“Huh?”

the question was unexpected. you find yourself unable to respond. Static noise fills your brain. there's a vague sense of urgency. You feel as if you need to say something, quickly, before he is offended.

“An old man, maybe,” you finally say with a crooked grin.

“Am I a joke to you?”

no. absolutely not is what you wish to say but once again the words remain stagnant in your throat, choking you and depriving you from air. It was all you could do to blame your sudden stupidity on.

“You’re a man, Nanami Kento,” you sigh and glance out the window. It is your attempt at ignoring the blazing heat scorching the skin of your cheeks. “Do you really have to make me say it out loud?” you mutter, drawing nonsense circles on the passenger door window with your finger. “So embarrassing.”

there was silence after the confession. your heart plummets to freezing depths. you wish you could take the words back. you try to think of a solution. maybe you can jump out of the moving car and pretend nothing happened. maybe die? both situations seem infinitely more favorable than staying in this steel ton death trap with a silent and pensive nanami kento.

“Good,” his voice cuts through the silence, deadly and icy. “Since you’re aware,” he drags his vowels. Your eyes dart from his face to the road, to his hand sliding towards your knee. “You understand the consequences.”

“What consequences?” you question quickly. it was in your nature to question, debate, to doubt even now as Nanami’s warm hand, large and calloused, grips your knee.

the car swerves, cutting from one lane to the next. your head snaps to glance at the rear view mirror, and to look behind you. fortunately, there was no traffic to be seen.

“You’re driving kind of–” you don’t finish your sentence. Nanami’s hand is sliding higher up your leg. his thumb is drawing slow large circles on the outside of your clothed thigh.

the car comes to a stop at the side of the road. Behind Nanami you can see the stormy sea, brewing, thrashing and deadly–so was the look in his eyes.

your instincts scream; they kick their legs and draw their claws. your throat seizes as you swallow back the smart remarks, the funny quips threatening to bubble out; your defensive shield at whoever dares to intrude on your vulnerability. intimacy was a forbidden subject; taboo. you always skittered around it, chasing highs while they were uncomplicated and moved on to the next victim without a goodbye. the last person you wanted to become entangled with, despite what your night fantasies would say, was Nanami Kento.

you felt safe with him. it would be too easy to stay.

he moves slowly. you can see the muscles of his shoulders rippling under his shirt; lethal and lithe, like a large feline. you want to smile at the realization but his hands start treacherous fires where he touches your thighs. he grips them and pulls you towards him—in a quick move—he turns you and your back slams against the passenger door. You’re not sure when he had the time to unbuckle himself, or to measure the distance between you and. All you know is you can’t move from where he has you—trapped between the blistering heat of his body and the passenger door.

“Should we–Should we talk about this?” you stammer, lightly placing one hand on his chest. Your fingers fiddle with his tie; ever so formal. You smile and pull at it with both hands, tightening it just enough to cross the edge of reason. Nanami’s eyes narrow at the tightness around his neck, gagging and choking slightly. He groans after clearing his throat and slaps your hands away only to seize your wrists with thick fingers.

“No,” he says in a disbelieving tone; one hand keeps your wrists at his mercy, the other undoes his tie. “You’re already breaking rules.” You frown, confused more at these supposed rules than at the fact that he was tying your wrists together with the tie he had removed.

“What rules? You didn’t tell me there were rules,” you complain petulantly. Your bottom lip sticks out in a dramatic pout. You feel nanami’s eyes landing on it. Heat pools at the bottom of your belly. You shift your weight in your seat, feeling a pleasurable wetness starting between your legs. Your thighs rub together in anticipation. If he didn't kiss you soon you thought you might just catch fire. He must have read your thoughts. His mouth clashes with yours in a tight lipped kiss; a little clumsy and more forceful than you expected. He pulled away enough to punish your bottom lip between his teeth.

“Must I spell everything out for you?” he asks, nipping at the corners of your mouth, dropping soft feathery kisses on your cheek. His hands had found your neck and they held you in place, as if you would run away from his affections. you smile derisively at your thoughts, even as goosebumps rush up and down your arms at the feel of his hot open mouth on your neck.

he fights intoxication. The taste of salt on your skin becomes his newfound obsession. Tongue pressed flush against your pulse. His eyes flutter as he feels your heartbeat getting quicker and quicker. Lashes flutter at the feel of your breasts under his hands. He had dreamed of this. He wasn’t proud of it. Not at all. In fact he was quite disappointed in himself.

How could he lack such imagination?

Not a moment of his dreams could compare to the weight of your breasts as he palmed them under your bra. They couldn’t compare to the warmth and softness he felt as he kneaded them. You mewl gently, wriggling underneath him. His mouth becomes hungrier, he devours what’s near it, biting and sucking. Fingers are adept at finding your weaknesses, pinching hardened sensitive nipples between thumb and index fingers. He twirls his fingers gently, and sometimes with a little more force.

Your legs move in an attempt to get closer. It's all you can do. Your hands are tied, and you begin to hate it. You hate the way his face is buried in your neck, sucking and biting and you can’t bring him closer to you; can’t run your fingers through his thick dark blond hair the way you’ve always imagined. You can’t run your palms down the length of his back, feel the muscles that keep him alive. Want piles and piles inside of you in a perilous tower, tilting and swaying, waiting for the least opportune moment to collapse.

“Nanami,” you hiss, as he rips what’s left of your shirt. You wanted to tell him he owed you a uniform but you loathed it anyway. He pushes your bra up to expose your breasts. Whatever you had wanted to say is already forgotten. You are entranced by the way his eyes darken at the sight of your breasts, the way his tongue dips out to moisten his bottom lip as if preparing for an unexpected feast. Pleasure gnaws at you again, pulling at your navel making you feel as if you could plummet to whatever darkness hid behind Nanami’s eyes.

Whatever it was, however dark, you wanted to follow him through.

His mouth met your breast like a long lost lover. Your back arches at the feel of his tongue pressing and sucking against your nipple. Moans leave you before you can even think to hold them. Fire burns between your legs, and you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter. You crave him. This is not enough, he holds one breast with one, opening wide to suck in as much as he can. His free hand holds you up, pressing against the small of your back, trying to bring you even closer to him, as if he could devour you whole if he tried enough.

Your fingers curl and close trying to clutch and hold, but they grasp nothing.

“This isn’t fair,” you whine, tossing your head as he rips another olundating moan from you. He releases your breast with a pop and looks up at you through blond lashes. His face is flushed, eyes dark with lust, lips moistened by his own saliva.

He couldn’t look more delicious if he tried.

“I told you there are consequences,” he says, rubbing one scruffy cheek against your sensitive breast. The prickly sensation makes you squirm, and you swallow a gasp, trying to keep your composure. He kisses the bruise he left on his current favorite breast, and moves on to the other one, leaving a wet trail behind him. “If you had been good, things would be different.”

You roll your eyes. Just as well, since he takes your attention deprived nipple between his teeth and tugs. “Ah!” you yell, and your back snaps. You feel him smile against your breast before he kisses around it, leaving your nipple alone. He bites, and sucks, using a hand to expose the underside where he becomes stubbornly obsessed with leaving a hickey. “Don’t just—” why would he stop?

Nanami sucks his teeth. His hands are under you as he sucks on your breast, he finds the curve of your ass and grips. He mumbles against you. His words don’t register, you’re just trying to keep him where he is, hands tied, pressing against his back.

His hand is fumbling with your back pockets and for a moment you wonder what he is up to. Was this some other trick of his? He releases your breast, drool hanging off his chin. He lifts up the hand that had been in your back pocket and he holds up a lighter.

You feel slightly embarrassed but find it impossible to care for long. After all, you were itching for him to continue. You rub your legs together and whine.

“Yes, yes I know,” you say, aware of the inflection in your voice; petulant and childish. “Smoking is bad. Can we get on with it?”

“We’ll talk about this later,” he says, not so eager to let it go, as he wiggles the lighter in the air, dotting the I’s and crossing the t’s in his sentence. You watch as he tosses it unceremoniously on the dashboard. You quickly grow distracted. His mouth is back on your breasts and you shudder, feeling the heated coil within you tightening and tightening. At this rate, you were about to plummet into ecstasy before you could lay a single finger on Nanami. His fingers slip under your waistband and he pulls down your pants, roughly tugging until you are free.

You see him toss them to the back of the car where your blazer had disappeared earlier. Heated fingers dance over the skin of your thighs. They press against the inside of them, pushing your legs apart. You try to hide your face, somehow finding the energy to feel embarrassed. You want to beg. You want to ask him not to say anything about how wet you are but his fingers are reaching out, pushing against the wet stain on your panties. You bite down a whimper.

“Look at you,” he breathes, using his thumb to draw a line up and down on your covered slit. “So wet and I’ve barely started.”

You gasp as he presses against your clit. He rubs lazy circles over your panties with his thumb, his free hand teasing, following the wet slick trail your cunt left on your underwear. You try swallowing your moans but it’s no use. He takes them from you with little effort, and you choose to stop fighting.

He leans forward and presses his mouth against the inner side of your right knee, then left. He kisses sloppily up your inner thigh with a hot open mouth. You feel him leaving his scent on your skin and the thought somehow makes you hornier. You want to feel him everywhere. You want to go home and smell him on your skin, in your hair. Hot mouth finds the space where your hip meets your thigh and he licks up and down before sucking, eager to leave his mark there as well.

After having his fill, he pulls your panties to the side, and dives into your heated pussy. Another moan, louder than before, forces you to arch your back. You hook your tied hands over his head as he laps at your pussy, tasting your wetness, taking in your musky scent. Your fingers aren’t long enough to reach where you want them so you grasp at bits of hair in hopes of grounding yourself. He slips his tongue between your lips, teasing your entrance, and your hips buck. You want him more than anything at the moment. You want to feel him inside you. You gyrate your hips as he works his tongue up and down your slit, wanting to take control. He laughs and grasps one hip to push you down.

“That’s enough,” he whispers to your clit before sucking it. You scream out at the sensation. You can feel it throbbing, aching. You’re so close. Your fingers tug on his hair and pull as you push your hips up, chasing the high of your orgasm. You cry out, his name a song on your lips. He smiles against your pussy and hums.

“Good girl, I’ll give you what you want now.” His voice is a low growl and it brushes your skin. You are aflame. You hold your breath as he unties your wrist. You remind yourself to breathe in as he unbutton his shirt. His smile is crooked and wicked as he leans forward, guiding your hands to his chest. You are beside yourself. The warmth under your palms makes you shiver. You feel the quivering in your thighs as your hands draw down, fingertips rolling over chiseled abs. You trail the sharpness of his muscles with both hands, that form together to create a villainous V.

Oh how you despised it and the way it made you want him more and more.

You look up in time to see his dark gaze on you. There is a soft smile dancing on his lips. He leans forward and captures your bottom lip, sucking it in, grazing his tongue across it.

You melt under the heat. He is on you, feverishly leaving kisses all over your face as he gathers you in his arms. He pulls you on his lap and helps you straddle him. Your hands are grasping everything in sight, everything they saw and wanted but could not have. You grip his biceps, admiring the thickness of them. Your hands comb through his hair as you kiss him, tongues clashing, teeth clumsily biting and scratching lips. You allow fingertips to dance around his jawline, committing it to memory.

He tries to catch your fingers, nibbling at them when they get close to his mouth.

“Are you almost done?” he asks impatiently, pushing up against your crotch. You hum, feeling yourself bush. You hide your face in the crook of his neck, biting down on his shoulder. You can feel him, hot and hard, ready. This isn’t your first time. Far from it, yet why did anxiety flutter in your chest?

“N-not yet,” you stall, grinding your hips as if to keep him satisfied. He moans, holding your head closer to him. You drop kisses on his collarbone and allow your hands to roam around his lower back. You’re busily suckling on the hollow of his clavicle when you hear him hum and sniff. You lick your way up his neck and to his pulse, where you suck greedily. You too are eager to leave your mark. His hand is in your hair and he tugs at it.

“Smell that?” he asks.

Your sniff, unsure if this was a trick question. You pause and smell it: smoke.

“What’s that?” you ask, sitting straight up. Nanami moans as he holds your thighs and gives you a look that reads–don’t do that if you plan on stopping. “I’m serious.”

You glance behind you and see a tiny gray trail of smoke growing bigger and bigger on the dashboard. Your mind is foggy. Your lips are swollen, and your sensitive vagina is throbbing, aching for release but there was smoke in the car. Your brain couldn’t click the thoughts together to form the complete puzzle.

“Get out,” you hear Nanami say close to your ear. He is reaching behind the driver’s seat. He grasps a black blazer and opens the driver’s door with his other hand. You’re pushed out of the vehicle and stumble forward braless, in soiled panties on to the road. You run towards the side, hoping no traffic comes.

“Nanami!” you hiss, covering your tits. “What the fuck?”

He is following you, putting the blazer around your shoulders. He gives no answers as he speeds up, and drags you along, a quick sprint.

“Move. Fast,” he says with urgency and your legs, weak and trembling, carry you as best as you can. The smell of smoke intensifies and you dare to look over your shoulder.

The rental was on fire.

Your eyes widen even as Nanami urges you to keep going. Your legs pick up the pace. A resounding boom fills the open space by the sea, and you can hear the ocean pushing back. You lose your balance, and Nanami is quick to hold you, pulling you up by your arms. You look past him, and see the sad remains of the rental vehicle, still on fire.

“How much do you think that costs?” you ask him with a sour taste in your mouth. He looks down at you and takes in your downturned lips, and wide eyes.

“I don’t know, several thousand?”

“There goes my whole paycheck,” you whine, covering your face. “Was it even worth it?” A split second after speaking you realize you might have misspoke. An apology is about to fly out of your mouth but Nanami’s still face suddenly changes. His lips split and he laughed, a hearty belly laugh. The corners of his eyes crinkled. Your hands found his chest and let them rest there, feeling the rumbling underneath them. You allow warmth to spread through you.

“Oh,” he sighs, pressing his forehead against yours. “Nobody’s ever made a laugh like that in a long,” he pauses to brush his nose against yours ever so lightly. “Long time.”

His hand rests on your cheek and you take it in between yours. You have no funny words, no smart remarks. No defensive tactic is left to hold him back.

“That’s still coming out of our paycheck.”

You groan and reach inside the pocket of your blazer. You pull out a pack of smokes and smack it on your hand repeatedly. Nanami’s eyes are heavy on you. You glance at the ground as you pull out a cigarette.

“Might as well,” you suggest with a shrug, tilting your head back to appeal to Nanami. You grab another cigarette and offer it to him. “You blew up my lighter so…” You walk towards the fire and reach out to light your cigarette. Nanami sighs beside you and plucks the other cigarette from you.

“Just this one time,” he says with a pointed stare.

Cigarettes lit, you both stare at the fire.

“So, absolutely no chance in writing this off as a business expense?” you ask Nanami, cigarette hanging from the corner of your mouth.

“Am I a joke to you?”

#nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x y/n #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x reader

22 notes · View notes

quitealotofsodapop · 2 years ago

Note

Honestly if it were up to Macaque he'd adopt Bai Zhe right then and there. Dame with Wukong. The problem is, Macaque is technically legally dead. Or at least, he legally doesn't exist at all since he died in the Tang dynasty so there wouldn't be records for him at all. Wukong is not much better because while he does have a lawyer for things like copyright and such... he still spent 500+ years in near isolation and doesn't technically exist in the legal system either outside if being represented by a lawyer of some sort. Not ideal for adopting a child, especially since adoption would include things like home visits, employment, a shit ton of paperwork. Luckily PIF cab get him in contact with Fire Star and Gold Star owes him for the whole... Mountain thing. Between those two he's able to at least legally adopt her in the eyes of the gods, but the eyes of mortals are a little different. It ends up being this weird situation where Bai He is being fostered by Pigsy and Tang while Wukong goes through the legal BS that is trying to get custody of a human girl when he is effectively a myth as far as mortals are concerned.

Then there's the matter of Bai He's possession. Possession of a demon is, sadly, not as uncommon in the LMK universe as you'd think it is, and it has lingering effects beyond just the trauma if done for an extended amount of time. The LBD had, effectively, turned Bai He half ice demon by possessing her for nearly a year. This means someone is going to need to tea h this little girl how to control her previously nonexistent magic.

Wukong's and Macaque's earth-legal situation is like that one joke in SU:

Especially seeing how Bai He has been declared Missing for the last few months - I'm not sure if the Metropolis CPS has a protocol for dealing with possession victims. Just walking up to anywhere and saying "Yeah, she's my kid now." wouldn't fly in the mortal realm.

I feel like Pigsy and Tang wouldn't mind fostering Bai He while the monkey duo sort out all the legal nonsense. It kinda makes the two nostalgic for when MK was smaller. I feel like they already got used to the kid showing up almost every day to eat noodles (a new comfort food for her since it was the first thing she ate after LBD left her body) and pet Mo.

I also love ideas where Bai He's possesion leave her with demonic abilities - mainly ice powers and maybe some bony markings on her body. Beyond the usual hurdles of adapting to become something other than human, Bai He takes it in her stride.

Bai He, making her eyes glow blue with power: "You're gonna have a Bad Time." Macaque (is training her): "...Is that a pre-battle call you've been working on?" Bai He, now embarassed: "No... its from Undertale." Macaque (knows she means a video games): "Oh. What does the character do after saying that?" Bai He, excitedly: "He grabs your soul and destroys you with magic bones and giant skull lazers for hurting his family!" Macaque: "Wicked."

Despite being opposite elements, I could see Redson and Nezha helping Bai He out with her new powers. They remember having an element they can't control. Plus the little girl is like a sister they never had.

#slow boiled stone egg au #lmk aus #lmk bai he #lmk ldb's host #sun wukong #shadowpeach #six eared macaque #liu er mihou #dad sun wukong #dad macaque #lmk tang #dad tang #lmk pigsy #lmk dadsy #lego monkie kid #lmk

123 notes · View notes

veryconfusedghoest · 2 months ago

Text

The Anemoia of an Isolated and Dysphoric Summer Dreamer

I want to be pretty

Or cool, or aesthetically pleasing

And I want to have the feeling that’s been plucking away at my brain

from miles and miles away

To be right here

In this exact moment

And I wish

That I could find it so easily

Whatever it is, that indescribable escape

And I wish that I could turn that into a home

This nonexistent memory,

It sometimes feels so familiar that I get nostalgic

And I can see it so clearly

I can see a moment in time

And it feels so important

Like it should happen, like it’s supposed to happen, my final meaning of self

Where I wasn’t just a character

And I wasn’t the me I am now

But someone else, very far away

With cool clothes

And a cool music taste

Close to the people that don’t exist

Living a life unrestrained of love

And of self

And of joy and freedom

And I’m afraid

That if I ever walk the distance to find it

It won’t be real, or what I’m expecting, or it’ll be too late somehow

I don’t love life. or at least I don’t love what’s happening in my present life,

But

That thing, that feeling, that faraway future memory,

That is my meaning. My purpose here. I don’t know why. And I’ll never ever be able to describe it perfectly as well as I can see it in my head, but it is what I strive for. Not out of choice, but out of necessity and intuition. Maybe it’ll exist in some way, one day, collapsing into a solid moment rather than a dream that slips in and out of my head, becoming ever more prominent in these lonely summer nights. I hope it means something.

#poetry #mini rant #gender dysphoria #anemoia #original poem

3 notes · View notes

yakuzabrainrotlive · 2 months ago

Text

Judgement has kicked off! I'm still in the VERY early game - less than 3 hours in.

The biggest pro the game has this far imo is:

I REALLY like the tone the game's going for. It's got that grittier and darker feel that the later games have started to miss, in a way. Must be the Yakuza actually feeling like the yakuza again, what with the murder method being that brutal and them actually feeling threatening and aggressive. Maybe it's because we're playing as a civvie? Very cool, I'm a big fan.

ANYWAY, here we go!

GOSH. I missed Kamurocho so, so much. It's insane 😭 All these familiar places have fond/miserable memories attached to them, though, so I have this weird nostalgic... ache in my chest when I walk around. Might sound dramatic, but I'm a very sensitive person, okay?? 😭

...ohhh. So THIS is where that scene from the Kiwami 2 silly mod was snatched from? Why do I get the feeling there's gonna be more revelations like this coming up...

I find Yagami's current kinda-legally-grey-but-not-really job situationship interesting. I don't feel like this is his endgame, but I'll definitely enjoy witnessing it for now!

Mmmmhhmmm. LOVE me some angst like this. 10/10 premise.

Always appreciate commentary on Japan's f'd up legal system and some of the major dilemmas defence attorneys face with certain clients!

I think it neat that we're getting to see some of the stuff that was happening between Y6 and LAD! I did kind of wonder what went down during those years.

I wonder if we'll see the 'jimas around. Ichi is in the joint so we won't see him, and Kiryu is in his state of self-imposed nonexistence, so he's out, too.

Daigo and co. should still be around, though. Iirc they skipped town AFTER the Tojo was purged from Kamurocho? I'll be clear right now: I do NOT expect them to show up and I won't think any less of the game if they don't!

I'll forgive the lack of karaoke since they decided to bring back my favourite Poppo employee. Glad to see he's doing well ❤️

...scratch that. Now they're rubbing it in my face. NEVER FORGIVING AND NEVER FORGETTING 😤

Yagami: breaks into random places

The NPCs:

A few miscellaneous things:

- Minigame/side content selection is - at this VERY early stage - still very mehhh. I expect there'll be much more to do after the main plot gets going for real, so I'm gonna be patient. Do we truly need TWO mahjong joints, though??

- I like Yagami's fighting styles, I just wish we didn't have to sprint manually ;;;; This was one of my very few peeves with Gaiden, too. Wall jump are SICK, though! Like for real.

- I'm very unobservant and kind of dumb, so the game is gonna have to hold both of my hands AND provide me a guide dog for this murder stuff 😭

#yakuza thoughts #yakuza spoilers #judge eyes spoilers #judgment spoilers

2 notes · View notes

yxstxrdrxxm-a · 2 years ago

Text

SYNOPSIS: They lost you years ago in Border Springs, but now, they have their second chance to get you back to them.

TW/S: Yandere behavior, major character death/s, delusional thinking/mindset, non-canon to original Coviello, train conductor! Coviello is insane here actually, gore, forced cannibalism of certain parts, drugs (heavily implied to be used), Sweet Dreams AU (plot is basically nonexistent because I thought of writing this as an imagines... At 1 AM lol. God help me), unreliable narrator (that's me)

NOTE: Please keep in mind that Coviello is not my oc, but my good friend, Mei (@zhongrin/@meimeimeirin)! I teased to her and a few others about this so I hope this is enough lol.

████████ didn't understood the concept of love.

Ever since they were a kid, they have never grasped the matter of love. They've red books about it, and even asked others their own views on the matter, but nothing stuck.

████████ didn't understand why... And it frustrated them.

Just what was it that made them lost? What is it about love that made people so pathetic over it?

Despite their grievances, things did change when they encountered you. Little 9 year old ████████, frustrated by the events that made them struggle to grasp emotions, had met someone that evoked and expressed them so seamlessly.

Their blue eyes caught sight of you.

You were a bit younger than them— maybe 2 years younger?— but ████████ couldn't help to think on approaching you first. You were folding a few papers while sitting under the shade, and they couldn't help but be curious.

"... Hey."

Your head moved over to look at them.

They look... A little dirty. But they're happy.

Why is that?

"Hm? What is it?"

...

"What are you doing?" ████████ couldn't help but ask, their eyes fixated on you folding the paper a few times.

They tilted their head when you laughed at their question, this time grabbing their sleeve to pull them down to sit beside you.

"I'm folding a paper crane! Mama taught me how!"

...

████████'s eyes softened. Your speech needed a bit of work, but they can let it slide. Not everyone can learn how to speak, let alone make cranes.

"Do you want me to teach you?"

"Huh?

It was their turn to be caught by surprise, just like how ████████ did to you.

"To make paper cranes, duh!" you said, giggling. "Do you wanna learn how?"

... It's not worth it.

".. alright. I guess that's fine."

There were certain days that Coviello cherished.

Despite having such a rough life, the conductor can still remember the sweet memories they had. That was the first time they remembered meeting you— the one that opened their stubborn mind to the world.

They couldn't help but wonder... Was it because they're drawn to you? Like a moth to a flame?

Or was it because, at the time, you were lonely?

Like me?

...

Tsk. They wouldn't be.

Still, Coviello reached over to brush at the worn paper, the crane still standing tall. They could even see the pencil written on it's wings. It was your chicken handwriting— they knew that well, since they've seen it so often when you were both kids— but it made them feel nostalgic.

Despite the words being smudged and faded, their eyes can still make out what was written from the dirtied, yellow paper:

[ H█p██ ██r██day ████████! — January 22, 20XX ]

The name of the recipient was smudged, but it was fine. They did the best they could to preserve it, but sometimes, there may be things that is inevitable.

And one such thing is how they were separated, torn from the one they cherished as their friend.

Recalling how it went, Coviello scoffed. They hated remembering it, for it felt like they didn't knew the truth behind the incident. So what if they hurt you? They reasoned that it was an accident— a fluke!

You even reasoned with them, so how—

The train's whistle cut off their thoughts.

Ah. We reached our stop.

Putting on their hat and uniform, they adjusted the vest and gloves, just so they'd look... Decent. Even if that won't change, they felt as though they needed to do it out of habit.

It's the only 'normal' they had.

"Ah, excuse me."

Coviello's eyes shifted when they noticed you dozing off. Although they were shocked to see you at first, they were pleased. Finally, you were here on the train, leaving Midport, too.

Although, you were tired... How strange. That's not good, mused the conductor.

"You seem tired," Coviello commented, putting on their familiar smile as they pulled out their pen and notepad. "Do you want me to get you anything?"

They watched you eye them carefully, seeing the cogs in your brain work as it tries to think if they were familiar to your memories before.

...

Alas, they could tell that you gave up on it, considering you gave them a sorry excuse of a smile and nodded.

"I'd like a cup of coffee, please," you told them, making them write down what you requested.

"Alright—"

"Huh? Is the conductor takin' drinks now?" hollered one voice. A man, Coviello presumed.

"Heyyy conductor! Can we get free drinks, too?"

Coviello's smile twitched for a second, but they turned to the man— ah, of course. They should've known that it would be a tourist... And a couple.

Hmph. They're married, judging by those rings.

"Of course. What would you like?" they asked, remaining that professional smile amidst the icy tone and stare.

Unperturbed by their subtle shift of attitude, the man laughed, amused at the thought. He turned to his newly married wife, a grin on his face.

"What do you want, babe?"

"Oh, I just want a sweet drink with lots of love, hehe!"

"Aww, you always say that. You're so cute, darling!"

"Noooo, you're cuter than me!"

...

Disgusting.

Coviello had tuned out of most of their... 'conversation', only nodding and taking notes when its necessary. They've dealt with annoyances like them in the past, but it was never to this degree.

Still, they wished it'd be done now. They have your drink to brew.

One that they would take their sweet time with, of course.

They knew that, morally speaking, they were in the wrong to have messed with your head like that. But what were they supposed to do?

The train conductor was a simple person. They only wanted one thing that'd make them happy, and they weren't one to ask for anything else. Hell, they never asked for anything to change— so as long they'd get to have it, of course.

They wanted their friend.

... Or, rather, the one who opened their eyes to the world.

Their friend had been the one that stuck by them, but even they couldn't help and think that they were too good for everyone else. Maybe even for them, too.

The irony of wanting something... And also pushing it away out of spite.

Such is the fault of humanity.

Though, during both of your separation, you've grown stronger. Wiser, even. You were naive back when they were your only friend as a child, but now in the train, you were cautious.

Coviello didn't knew if that is something they should praise you for, or to loathe, considering how difficult it has been just to get you to settle in place. Alas, they have to digress.

Walking past the empty halls of the train, they couldn't help but spare a glance to the windows. They were still the same as they saw it, but if one looked closely, they'd see some odd patches on the window panes and fabric, like it wasn't cleaned and got stuck.

They knew what that was.

Whoever can see it would understand that very well.

"... Hm? What's wrong?"

Coviello crouched down in front of the married woman, their eyes remaining dead as they were as they watched her quiver and shake. Gasping, they pushed themselves away from the conductor, the sight of the cup scaring them.

"Didn't you say you wanted a drink that is filled with love?"

Snatching the cup, they grabbed her chin and firmly kept it in place, stained gloves gripping on her head to turn her as they raised it.

Oh, they knew what they made. The contents inside it can scare someone, but not them.

"Drink it," they ordered, placing the thumb of their hand to part her lips. Placing the rim of the cup in her mouth, they could hear her choke out sobs.

"Drink it. You asked for it, didn't you?"

She couldn't shake her head when she could feel the crimson liquid stain her mouth, some spilling out at the sides and below, letting it stain her attire. It was even worse when Coviello tilted it higher, letting the eye slip in her mouth.

How unhygienic, mused Coviello. But that's alright.

They're quite used to cleaning things up themselves.

Shoving every last drop of the unholiest drinks known to man, they could hear the soft shuffling from outside. Pausing, they lowered the cup, their eyes darting from the doorway.

It was left ajar.

Coviello knew what that meant.

If there is something they're quite proud of, it'd be that they can always find you.

Wherever you are, whatever place you ended up in, Coviello always knows where to look first. In fact, it had been something they held their pride on, in a sick and twisted way.

It simply shows that even if you were separated from them, you'll always find yourself back in their arms, one way or another.

Still... Coviello couldn't deny that your escape was futile. It had been fueled by survival instincts, and they remembered just how fearful you got when they caught you.

They may enjoy your company, but they don't enjoy being abandoned without an explanation.

Stepping to the second cart, they checked one of the rooms inside to see if you were there. Their lips seem to stretch to a smile upon seeing that yes, you were.

Maybe they were harsh to have your legs be bound like a mermaid's tail, or to have you consume such a lethal drink from misbehaving the last time. Though, they ignored that now.

To them, they got what they wanted.

It's such a shame that no one will find out where they went, though. Especially to the ones who had received the kiss of death.

@.throw-letter-away | do not republish or repost my works anywhere | 2023

#💌 ;; message delivery #💌 ;; from: coviello #💌 ;; post: ocs #💌 ;; to: gen. neutral reader #yandere x you #yandere drabble #yandere writing #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere insert #yandere text

46 notes · View notes

fell-is-suffering · 8 months ago

Text

Look...I WAS gonna finish this one but- apparently i didn't have the motivation to do so.

[I'm not a good person. Don't deny me that.]

TWs!: mentions of sh, alcoholic tendencies, abuse(?), denial of something, and perhaps other topics that I don't know myself..

Genre: light angst (yes, light angst), comfort and fluff.

Context: no context for you :)

[unfinished]

When Crust went to visit Chains for some small talk, and mostly since they haven't spoken to each other in a while, he didn't really…expect for the conversation to turn into this.

Confused? Let's start way over from the beginning to when Crust went to visit…

~~~~~~~

Crust was feeling..pretty wrecked. It had been quite a long bit since he and Chains spoke to each other. So he decided, why not visit his house? Chains gave him their address a while back and..well, he might as well give it to use.

But. He was thinking of some..things. And he wasn't all too sure if Chains even wanted to talk to him, but he quickly shook away that thought. Chains always seems glad to see him, always.

Okay, enough of his thoughts, he should knock first..make sure if Chains is awake or not.

He took a deep inhale, even if he didn't need to, and tapped his knuckles on the door, loudly. Maybe too loud…whoops.

He lets out an indignant snort at his way of thinking and then gets snapped out of his thoughts by someone opening the door.

And he was instantly met with another version of his bro. Who looked..pretty tired? He wasn't sure, but he immediately felt bad for knocking so loudly.

He went to apologize, before the other beat him to it.

“Who Are You? Are You Another One Of Those Alternates My Brother Talks To?” The other Pap1yrus asked, and despite the harsh tone of his voice, Crust could tell he was curious but also cautious.

Crust resisted the urge to smile at that. No matter the universe, paps were always there for him.

“heh- yea, ya could say. a friend of his, actually.” He huffed out with a chuckle. Maybe if he reassured the other that he wasn't some sort of threat, he would loosen up a bit?

The other raised a nonexistent brow, seeming as if he didn't believe that, but didn't question any further than that. “Hm. Okay..And Why, Are You Here?” he asked once more, making sure.

“just came ta visit mah buddy here, can't do that?” His tone was laced in slight amusement. While the others cautiousness was reasonable, he couldn't help but think it was amusing that he was like the protective older brother. Despite being younger than Chains, if he remembered correctly.

And he couldn't help the way he wanted to tuck in the other, he looked way too exhausted and Crust didn't really want that. But he also didn't want to be on the other's bad side, so he pulled away from that thought.

The other stayed silent for a moment, worrying Crust that he did something wrong before Papyrus just scoffed. “Very Well Then. My Brother Is In His Room Upstairs, Do Be Careful Waking Them Up, He Just Slept.” Crust perked up at that, then felt confused and concerned. Chains just slept? Like right now? That didn't seem..healthy.

Crust just nodded in response, and stepped in the house when his other bro just walked off, to the kitchen it seemed like.

When he stepped inside, he looked around the..rather spacious, even homey, place. Honestly, just by looking around, he was feeling rather nostalgic from his surroundings.

Damn. He's kinda jealous, how the hell did they make their place so cozy looking?? Man..wished he could have this homey abode.

He chuckled quietly and went up the stairs. If he was correct, Chains room is in the...left? Oh Wait- there's literally a name tag on the doors, damn. Why didn't he notice ‘em a bit sooner??

He quickly shook his skull, getting closer to the door with the name ‘sans’ on it and knocked on it gently, trying to see if he could get a reply from the other.

The response was immediate, as he heard a tired and annoyed groan from inside the room. Crust chuckled to himself at the response, and called out almost quietly “hey ch- fell. it's me, crust?” he said, tilting his skull slightly even though he knew the other wouldn't see it.

Meanwhile, Fell grumbled out a tired “com’ in...doors open pal..” and curled more in his bed, rubbing their eye-sockets. He felt like shit, but at least their best buddy was here. That was enough for him.

Crust gently opened the door, pausing on seeing the sight of the other. Chains looked like shit, literally and he didn't mean that in an offending way. The other looked bone tired, red eyebags beneath his sockets and he looked close to snap at someone at this point.

“geez. woke up on the wrong side of the bed or what?” He couldn't help but tease as he closed the door behind him. The room was dark as fuck. Where the hell was the light switch when you needed it?

Fell just groaned in response, staying limp on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. He honestly would've questioned why Crust was here but then they remembered that he gave him their address.. so he just won't ask anything of the sort.

But..they wonder, why was Crust here?

He thought about it, as they blinked up at the lights that suddenly came on. He groaned and turned to their side, feeling a slight headache from the sudden lighting.

Whatever the reason Crust is here, he hopes it's a good one. Simply ‘cause they don't wanna talk about…well- whatever it was that Crust wanted to talk about.

Fell just hopes it's not a bad thing, for the most part. He’s pretty tired…and they don't exactly mean it physically.

#aroace fell sans #fell sans #aroace uf sans #mod star #starz posts #Crust sans #2 down. 1 more to go!#ugh. also unfinished-#tw: implied blood #tw: alchohol mention #tw: abuse mention #not in the actual fic since i didn't finish it but it is supposed to be talked about between the two of them

3 notes · View notes

televisionenjoyer · 1 year ago

Note

HOW DO YOU GET THAT VINTAGE LOOK I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR AGES I don't want to buy a polaroid

Doesn't show but I'm actually excited as fuck about it. I've been a photographer for like, what, six years? maybe seven? I have a trusty DSLR that might be old by today's standards but still takes beautiful, professional quality pictures. I've tried all kinds of flashes and filters to get this sort of look but you know what did it? My mom's early 2000s camera. Yeah, one of these

that picture was taken with the camera on the left, a Samsung ST66, I would consider it a midrange 2010s digital camera in regards to the quality and liberty of adjustments. the camera on the right is my backup for the day, a Kodak Easyshare C142, your average economic family camera (everyone knows someone who owns one of these I believe)

Highest chances are, you probably have someone in your family with a digicam abandoned on some drawer because people don't use these anymore, they've abandoned them in favor of their phones. If this isn't the case, you can probably get one on a secondhand store or eBay, for pretty cheap!

(I don't have many recommendations, other than probably get one that's over 12mp, with at least 3x zoom, preferably from 2010 or newer. As to brands, it's a lottery. People recommend the Nikon Coolpix a lot (I love Nikon sensors so I can vouch for that much) or Olympus and Canon cameras. Despite what you may believe, Kodak hasn't made a good digital sensor since, well, never, so I wouldn't personally recommend it a lot)

Why a digicam?

why not!! here's two features of your digicam that your phone doesn't have:

- analog zoom: you know when you're zooming in on one of these and the lens starts making noises and moving around? that's the multiple individual lenses in your camera moving around so that you can zoom in three, five, or even ten times the size of your picture without losing any quality. what your phone does when you zoom in, in opposition, is basically cropping the picture you're taking. digital zoom is inherently lossy — not to mention the angular graduation of phone lenses causes the image to have some distortion in comparison to the way we see (yeah, this is why you look ugly on your pictures but pretty in the mirror)

- big, harsh, blinding flash: this is THE MAIN THING, the main element of that "polaroid look". These types of cameras have a limited or nonexistent aperture range, so they overcompensate by turning on auto flash. This overcompensation results in a very characteristic look that makes us feel nostalgic. when taking night pictures, turn that flash on!!!

and, here are two features of your digicam that a professional camera doesn't have:

- small, harsh, crappy flash: see: above. DSLR's built in flashes... They do the job. Everyone knows if you need the real deal you gotta get one of those big fancy fixtures, but also, Nikon doesn't want you taking crappy pictures with their camera so they put some work into defusing the flash and shit so it's not as crappy and harsh. Joke's on them, we kinda like that!!

- smaller, cheaper, limited, overall CRAPPIER: and you know what? That's good. A point and shoot cam is good actually!! we get lost in features and lenses and sometimes it's a bit much. A small portable camera with its so many limitations can help us focus on composition and storytelling, and mainly just... Having fun!!! photography used to be about having fun, remember? whether you're out on your own or with friends, you and other people will take your crappy digicam wayyy less seriously than they would your professional cam. And that takes a lot of pressure away.

Anyways this is your sign to dust off your crappy digicam and go shoot some pictures.

#digicam

14 notes · View notes

cryptidsurveys · 11 months ago

Text

Thursday, August 29th, 2024.

Will you answer these questions as personally as you can? Yeah, sure, I'll give it a shot.

Why are you happy? I have so many reasons to be happy. All the way from the "big stuff" like having a safe place to live, enough food to eat and clean water to drink, people who love me, a job that gives me a sense of passion and purpose, etc; to things like the fact that it's cloudy today, I'm eating a yummy breakfast as I take this, I don't have a migraine, autumn is soon approaching, and so on and so forth. Sometimes I lose sight of the good because I'm too focused on things that are going wrong or stressing me out, but I try to routinely remind myself of everything that's going right or that does make me happy.

Who’s the last person you hugged? Nan. I mentioned her in a recent survey. She's a volunteer at the shelter who does heaps of our dirty laundry. I don't know where we would be without her…probably suffocating beneath a mountain of stinky blankets and towels. Anyway, I went out to greet her the other day and she was like, "You're always smiling!" and gave me a hug. :')

Would you pay someone to kill the person who hurt you a lot? I would never do something like that. I wouldn't even wish death on any of the people who have hurt me. However, if there was some magical way to guarantee that I would never encounter those people again…I might take it.

Do you like the song ‘Sick Little Games’ by All Time Low? I've never heard it before; lemme go take a listen… It's alright, but it probably wouldn't make it onto my nonexistent playlist.

Last night you felt? Grateful for the day. I went to the Mountain Park with my dad and it was such a relaxing and nostalgic time. You know when the weather has a certain quality to it and it brings up all kinds of memories? Well, it was like that. I was also relieved that I didn't have to go to the shelter the following morning. My last few "weekends" were busy and exhausting and I spent the last one with an on/off headache, so it's just been nice to have two full days of chillin' and feelin' good.

How are you feeling right now? Tired but relaxed. Introspective. Twinges of dread/nervousness about tomorrow, but for no real reason (everything should be fine). Loving this cool and cloudy weather with its promise of fall.

Are you drifting away from someone you were close with? No.

Is there someone you’d like to fix things with? Yeah.

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? Ehhh.

What are you listening to? Esther purring. She's curled up behind me on the computer chair.

Have you ever stayed in a hotel? Plenty of times.

What is in your pocket? My pockets are empty.

Have a best friend? I do.

Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? My best friend lives in California, so they're always doing things without me.

Do you keep any secrets from your best friend? They know most of my biggest secrets.

What were you doing 60 minutes ago? I had just arrived home from grocery shopping, made myself breakfast, and started browsing for a survey to take.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? My dad knows pretty much everything. There are a lot of things I haven't told my mom and probably never will.

What’s something that can always make you feel better? Aside from partaking in my favorite hobbies and doing things I enjoy, it's usually time that does the trick.

What do you want right now? Ugh. I just realized that one of my kitties might have another UTI. She gets them occasionally, so she's going to have to go to the vet later. :'(

What would you name your future son? I don't want children.

If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Oatmeal.

How’s your life lately? Busy.

Last person to send you a text? My dad. I texted him on Tuesday to let him know I was on my way home from the shelter and he sent me a brief reply.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Eating breakfast while taking this survey.

Did you have a good birthday this year? Yeah. It was snowy, I spent the morning at the shelter, then went out to lunch with my parents.

Have you done anything embarrassing lately? I'm embarrassed by it, but was it actually embarrassing…? Idk. When I see other people get upset or vent about Diane, I don't think, "Oh my God, how embarrassing." I'm more like, "FVCKING SAMEEE!!!" Talking to Iris (manager) about it was excruciatingly awkward, but it's probably all in my head. As a manager, she's probably used to dealing with issues like that.

Do you trust easily? No. But like I've been saying - I don't know how much of that is a "me thing" versus the fact that I spend a lot of time around people I find to be untrustworthy. Maybe I would open up a lot more in a different environment.

Do you like cookies n’ cream ice cream? Yeah.

How often do you raise your hand in class and answer a question? I'm not in school anymore, but in the past, almost never.

Ever been mistaken for someone else, and took it as an insult? No.

Would you get a mega bag of skittles, or three regular ones? I'm not a big fan of Skittles.

What color shirt are you wearing? I've got on a black t-shirt, a sort of slate gray/blue long-sleeve shirt, and a pine green sweater.

Is there a boy that would do absolutely everything for you? Not in a romantic sense, but my dad is always there for me.

Did you ever think you had the Swine flu? Possibly.

Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? I smoke, but aside from myself, I'm not sure.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My dad.

Are you a mean person? No. I can be mean (selfish, thoughtless, etc), but I don't think I exhibit those qualities to the extent that I would be considered a "mean person."

Does anyone hate you? Idk.

Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them? I really only feel comfortable expressing anger with my dad and my therapist. When it comes to other people, I tend to stuff it down until I inevitably explode - which was what happened with the Diane situation. It probably took everyone by surprise, including me! It's not like I woke up that day planning to go all scorched earth.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? No one.

Will this weekend be a good one? I hope so.

Have you ever liked someone older than you? Yeah.

Are you mad at someone right now? Ehhh.

#survey #surveys #personal survey #random survey #survey blog

2 notes · View notes