#feel is safe.“ ”sounds to me like you're letting your mental illness control you.“

[bixels]

i think we should piss on the poor while we're at it too.

I am BEGGING younger drivers. drive carefully. give yourself room. for fuck's sake use your turn signals and don't fucking weave thru traffic. this is not a video game, this is real life and if you get into an accident, you could get killed or kill someone else VERY easily

[sushiyuzu]

Hiii, I was wondering if you could make smth with a fem-reader who gets super angry, like destructive when mad bcus she lacks self-control rlly bad (for me I'm mentally ill lol) so when she gets mad her s/o usually walks in to her room destroyed with a crying reader in the corner, especially when she hasn't been taking her meds it ends up like that, and can you do this with Megumi, Yuta, and Sukuna

a safe comfort 🤍

a/n: thank you so much for trusting me with this request! it was my second time receiving and writing a fanfic request, and i truly appreciate the support! please remember to take care of yourself, especially if you're struggling with mental health—your well-being is so important! <3

warning: this story includes themes of mental illness, destructive behavior, and emotional distress. please proceed with caution.

megumi fushiguro

it starts as a small thing, the kind of annoyance you’d usually brush off. but today, something feels different. it’s as if the tension has been building for days, winding tighter and tighter until finally—something snaps. and when it does, you can’t stop yourself.

your hands are trembling as you shove the lamp off your nightstand, the crash of broken glass loud in your ears. the sound echoes in your head, but it doesn’t register—not really. you’re already grabbing at the books on your desk, hurling them across the room as frustration wells up inside you, fierce and unrelenting.

the anger takes over everything. it’s all-consuming, suffocating, like a weight on your chest you can’t escape. and when it’s over, when the room lies in ruins around you, you’re left standing in the middle of it all, gasping for air, your hands still shaking as the reality of what you’ve done hits you.

you drop to the floor, curling into yourself, the tears coming fast and hard. shame burns deep in your chest, the guilt crushing you as you try to breathe through it. you don’t want to be like this—you don’t want to be the person who destroys everything.

you don’t even notice when megumi walks in. he’s always quiet like that, slipping into your space without making a sound. but you know he’s there when you hear his voice—soft, steady, calm.

“hey,” he murmurs, and the sound is so gentle it makes your chest ache. “it’s okay.”

you can’t bring yourself to look up at him, too ashamed of what he must be seeing. you’re a mess. the room’s a mess. but megumi doesn’t seem to care. he steps carefully around the broken glass, the scattered papers, and kneels down beside you without a word.

for a long moment, he doesn’t say anything, just sits there with you, his presence grounding you in a way that nothing else can. his hand hovers near your shoulder, not quite touching, as if he’s waiting for permission to get closer.

“i’m not going anywhere,” he says softly, his voice filled with quiet reassurance.

you finally lift your head, and the moment your eyes meet his, the tears come faster, harder. you choke on a sob, unable to hold it back any longer, but megumi’s arms are around you before you can even process it. he pulls you into his chest, holding you close, and for a second, you forget about the wreckage around you.

his grip is firm but gentle, his hand running through your hair in soothing strokes. he’s not one to overwhelm you with words—megumi knows that sometimes silence speaks louder. instead, he just holds you, letting you cry against him, offering a quiet strength you can lean on without fear.

“we’ll figure it out,” he says after a while, his voice steady, like a promise. “whatever it is, we’ll deal with it together.”

you know he means it. with megumi, there are no empty promises. just the quiet certainty that no matter how bad things get, he’s going to stay by your side. and somehow, that makes it a little easier to breathe.

the minutes stretch into what feels like hours as you sink into his embrace. with every ragged breath, you can feel the tension start to dissolve. megumi’s warmth envelops you, a safe haven amidst the storm of emotions raging inside.

as the tears slow, you begin to notice the little things—how his heartbeat thrums steadily against your ear, the scent of his cologne lingering in the air, the gentle way he holds you as if you’re something precious. it’s a comfort that seeps into your bones, reminding you that you’re not alone in this chaos.

“i know it feels overwhelming right now,” he says, his voice low and soothing, “but it doesn’t define you. you’re stronger than this moment.”

you nod against him, trying to internalize his words, but the guilt still lingers like a shadow. “i don’t want to be like this,” you whisper, your voice muffled against his shirt.

“i know,” he replies, pulling back slightly to look you in the eye. there’s a determination in his gaze, a fierce protectiveness that makes your heart swell. “and you’re not. we’ll find a way to help you. just take it one step at a time.”

he wipes away the tears on your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, his touch featherlight yet grounding. in his gaze, you see understanding—an unspoken agreement that you don’t have to carry this burden alone. with megumi beside you, it’s easier to believe that healing is possible, that you can face whatever darkness lies ahead.

as you sit there, the room still in disarray, you realize it’s okay to be broken. it’s okay to ask for help. because with megumi by your side, you know you have a safe space to fall apart and rebuild. you’re not just a collection of shattered pieces; you’re a person, and that person deserves love and understanding—even in the midst of chaos.

“thank you,” you murmur, feeling a glimmer of hope rise within you.

“always,” he replies, a soft smile breaking through the worry etched on his face. “now, let’s clean this up together, okay?”

you nod, and for the first time in a long while, you feel like maybe, just maybe, you can find your way back to yourself.

yuta okkotsu

the anger hits you like a tidal wave, sudden and overwhelming, and before you know it, everything around you is falling apart. you’ve tried to hold it back—tried so hard—but the frustration is too much. your hands move on their own, knocking over anything within reach, the sounds of things crashing to the floor blending together in a chaotic blur.

you don’t realize how far you’ve gone until the room is a disaster—books torn from the shelves, clothes scattered across the floor, furniture tipped over in your frenzy. it’s only when the last bit of anger burns out that you see the mess you’ve made, and with it comes the crushing guilt. the shame.

you collapse to the floor, pressing your palms to your face, hiding from the destruction you’ve caused. your heart races in your chest, your breathing uneven as the tears come, slow at first, then uncontrollable.

you don’t hear the door open, don’t realize yuta’s standing there until you feel a presence near you. when he speaks, his voice is so soft, so filled with concern, it breaks your heart.

“hey,” he calls your name gently, kneeling in front of you. “what happened?”

you can’t answer him, can’t even look at him. the shame is too much. you’ve done this again—let yourself lose control, let everything spiral. yuta doesn’t push you for answers, though. he just watches you for a moment, waiting for the right time to step in.

“it’s okay,” he whispers after a while, reaching out carefully, his hand brushing against your arm in a tentative gesture. “i’m not mad. i’m just... worried.”

his words hit you in a way you didn’t expect, and before you know it, you’re falling into him. yuta catches you easily, pulling you close to his chest, his arms wrapping around you protectively. he’s warm, gentle, his hands soothing as he rubs slow circles against your back.

“we’ll get through this,” he murmurs against your hair, his voice steady. “whatever’s going on... we’ll handle it together.”

his embrace is firm, but never overwhelming. he holds you just tightly enough to make you feel safe, his chin resting on the top of your head as he lets you cry into his shoulder. yuta’s always been like this—soft, gentle, never pushing too hard but always there when you need him most.

“you don’t have to be afraid of this,” he adds, his voice low. “we’ll take it one step at a time, okay?”

you nod against him, even though you still feel the weight of your emotions pressing down on you. but with yuta’s arms around you, the world feels just a little bit less overwhelming.

as you pull away slightly, just enough to see his face, you can’t help but notice the concern etched in his features. his eyes search yours, looking for any sign of reassurance. “you didn’t have to hide this from me,” he says softly, brushing a thumb across your cheek, wiping away a tear that has slipped free. “i’m here for you, no matter what.”

the sincerity in his voice ignites something inside you—a flicker of hope amidst the storm of despair. “i just... don’t want to be like this,” you admit, your voice trembling. “i don’t want to keep losing control.”

“it’s okay to feel angry sometimes,” he reassures, his expression unwavering. “but you’re not alone in this. you don’t have to handle everything on your own.”

you take a deep breath, allowing his words to wash over you. it’s a reminder that while this moment feels insurmountable, it doesn’t define you. yuta doesn’t judge you for the chaos you’ve created; instead, he’s offering a lifeline, a way to navigate through the darkness together.

“let’s clean this up,” he suggests, pulling back just enough to look you in the eyes. “but first, can we take a minute? just to breathe?”

you nod again, grateful for his understanding. yuta guides you back to the corner of the room where it feels a bit safer, sitting beside you on the floor amidst the wreckage. he takes a moment to simply breathe with you, matching his inhale and exhale to yours. in those shared breaths, you can feel the tension begin to ease, even if just a little.

“you’re strong, you know,” he says softly, looking at you with such intensity that it warms your heart. “even when it feels like everything’s falling apart, you’re still standing here. that means something.”

his words wrap around you like a warm blanket, grounding you further. you manage a small smile, a flicker of gratitude in your chest. “thank you for being here.”

“always,” he replies, the sincerity in his voice bringing a sense of comfort. “let’s start with one thing at a time. how about we pick up the books first?”

you both begin to clear the room together, moving through the remnants of your outburst. with each item you return to its place, you feel a little more in control, a little less lost. yuta’s presence is steady by your side, and as he laughs softly at the absurdity of some of the mess, you can’t help but join him.

“what a tornado you’ve created,” he teases gently, picking up a shirt and throwing it playfully at you. “it looks like a fashion disaster.”

“hey! don’t make fun of my style,” you retort, a laugh bubbling up despite the heaviness of earlier. the sound feels good, like a small victory over the lingering despair.

“i’d never!” he exclaims, mock-indignant. “your style is unique, and it needs to be respected.”

as you work together, the atmosphere shifts. the heaviness that had settled in your chest begins to lift, and with yuta’s playful banter, you start to find a lightness you thought was lost. you realize that even in moments of chaos, you can create something beautiful—like the bond you share with him.

once the room is tidied up, yuta turns to you, his expression serious again. “remember, it’s okay to ask for help. i’m just a call away, and you don’t have to face anything alone.”

you look at him, your heart swelling with gratitude. “i really appreciate you, yuta. for everything.”

“anytime,” he replies, reaching for your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “let’s take care of each other, okay?”

as you sit together in the aftermath of the storm, you know that with yuta by your side, you’ll find a way through whatever challenges lie ahead. the world feels just a little bit less daunting, and that’s more than enough for now.

ryomen sukuna

it happens fast—too fast for you to stop it. one moment, you’re pacing around the room, frustration boiling inside you like a pressure cooker, and the next, your hands are smashing into everything within reach. you’ve never been able to control it, this anger that builds and builds until it spills over, consuming everything in its path.

furniture crashes to the floor, papers scatter across the room, and the sound of breaking glass rings in your ears. you’ve wrecked the place, torn it apart with your bare hands, and now, standing in the aftermath, all you can feel is the hollow emptiness left behind.

your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath, tears blurring your vision as the weight of what you’ve done settles in. you sink down to the floor, curling in on yourself, the world around you too much to handle. the anger is gone now, but the shame remains, thick and suffocating.

then you hear him—sukuna. his voice cuts through the silence like a knife, sharp and unmistakable.

“well, well,” he drawls, his tone laced with amusement. “look at the mess you’ve made.”

you flinch, expecting the worst, but when sukuna steps into the room, there’s no mockery in his eyes. he surveys the damage with a raised brow, but instead of berating you, he simply smirks, as if he finds the whole thing more fascinating than anything else.

“you always did have a flair for destruction,” he says, his voice low and smooth. “but this... this is something else.”

you don’t respond. you can’t. the shame is too heavy, too overwhelming, and the last thing you want is for him to see you like this. but sukuna doesn’t leave. instead, he walks over to you, his boots crunching against the broken glass, and crouches down in front of you.

he tilts his head, his red eyes gleaming with something almost like curiosity. “are you done?”

you nod, though it’s barely a movement. your throat is tight, your eyes stinging with unshed tears, and sukuna just watches you for a moment longer before sighing. without another word, he reaches out and pulls you into his arms, not caring about the mess around him.

you’re too tired to resist, too worn out to push him away, and sukuna just holds you there, his grip firm but not painful. there’s a warmth to him, a strange sort of comfort in the way he wraps his arms around you, despite his usual roughness.

“you’re a disaster,” he mutters, his tone teasing but not unkind. “but i suppose you’re my disaster.”

you don’t know why, but his words make the tears come harder, and before you know it, you’re sobbing against his chest, your body trembling with the force of it. sukuna doesn’t shush you or tell you to stop. he just lets you cry, his hand resting on the back of your head, his fingers gently tangling in your hair.

“let it out,” he says, his voice soft now, quieter than you’ve ever heard it before. “you’ll feel better after.”

and somehow, with him holding you, the world feels just a little bit less chaotic. sukuna may not be gentle, but in this moment, he’s exactly what you need. the weight of his arms around you, solid and unyielding, keeps you anchored, keeps you from spiraling any further.

he’s not one for soft reassurances or whispered comforts, but his presence alone is enough to ground you. he lets you break down in his arms, lets you be vulnerable without judgment or impatience. there’s something oddly calming about it—being in the presence of someone so powerful, so utterly in control, when you feel like your world is falling apart.

after a long while, when your sobs finally subside, sukuna pulls back slightly. he tilts your chin up with two fingers, forcing you to meet his gaze. his red eyes bore into yours, sharp and unwavering.

“feel better?” he asks, his voice low, his expression unreadable.

you nod, not trusting your voice to speak. he studies you for a moment longer before he lets go of your chin, standing up and brushing some debris off his clothes as if none of this bothered him in the slightest.

“next time,” he says, his tone casual, as if offering advice on something trivial, “try not to destroy everything. or at least wait until i’m around to enjoy the show.”

there’s a teasing lilt to his words, and despite yourself, despite everything, a small, tired smile tugs at the corners of your lips.

“come on,” sukuna says, offering you his hand to help you up. “let’s get out of here. you need to clear your head.”

you hesitate for only a moment before taking his hand, and he pulls you up effortlessly. as he leads you out of the wreckage of your room, there’s a strange comfort in knowing that, for all his arrogance and rough edges, sukuna’s still here—still willing to stay by your side, no matter how many times you break.

and somehow, with him, that’s enough.

[creepy-friday]

Ok ok

Hear me out

👀

Imagine if the Proxies were in any type of relationship with Y/N, and Y/N isn't a proxy or maid or anything.

And Y/N got pregnant 💀

Brownie points if the baby is a girl-.

Notes: the reader is in an established relationship with them,and kept the pregnancy a secret until the only option was for the baby to be born

Warnings: pregnancy mentions,yandere tendencies in Brian's part,mental illness in Toby's and misogyny in Tim's

Special thanks to @spookyravioli for the inspiration♡

"Oh.Oh." Toby's first reaction is shock and slowly the feeling of dread would start to overcome him

He never imagined himself as a lover,let alone the tought of becoming a parent.Toughts of his own father started to beat him up,and insecurity spread trough him like a disease

He needs A LOT of reassurance in order for him to not break down.During the pregnancy he would be very supportive partner and would try to keep you as happy as possible

He bought a shit ton of books,from parenthood guide books to kids ones that he would often read to calm down

When the daughter was born,multiple thoughts entered his brain."I'm a father now." sounds both bittersweet and scary to him

This was the time when he started to take medicine for his outbursts,not only for him,but for both yourself and the baby's sake

As much as he wanted to not traumatize his daughter,he couldn't help but make her be constantly on edge

She wasn't afraid of him,but rather wary,slowly understanding that her father wasn't always in the right place

Despite his early efforts,I can see as the daughter grows up she would start to resent him from all the things that he hides away from her to the way he seems off putting

Because Toby's workplace is a demanding one,I can see him completely giving up on meds and having angry withdrawals because of it

That's why it will be up to the daughter to either sugarcoat the way her father is or to step up and overgrow him

Surprisingly,Masky's first tought isn't to go buy milk.Instead,he takes his time to reason with you and to list all the complication the baby will come with

He tries to be a good lover to you,he really doesn't want the of risk losing you because of his shitty moods,that's why he genuinely tries to not stress you out during the pregnancy

Tim will take care of anything you need,even if he would mutter something under his breath,all he does is for you.In his mind,if he loses you he will lose himself as well,that's why he's so eager to please you

After getting into a verbal fight with half of the hospital personnel,he almost lost his mind when he heard that he was having a daughter

He grew up distant for a while,and was passive aggressive while taking care of the baby,as if her whole existence's worth is based off her gender

After he became warmer to you he became colder to the daughter as time flew by and she grew older

"It's because you're a girl" ; "This isn't a girl's job" ; "Are you really going to wear that?Unfit for a girl"

I can see the daughter growing up to break down her father's stereotypes,but at the same time battling with his inner demons

She might have addiction problems and become obsessive over subjects she can have control over

If the mother doesn't do anything about it,I can see the daughter having a history with battling the same type of mental illness her father had

Brian knew all along about your pregnancy,and secretly enjoyed the tought of something or someone to keep both of you forever together

After all,the baby is the living proof of your love,that's what he believes

He made sure you're kept safe and get the best health care from other women doctors/nurses,he doesn't trust male personnel

Brian was an implicated parent,altough he heavily wanted as little communication as possible from you and the outside world

From the time the daughter became a toddler,he started to grow those sick ideas into her little head about how ugly society is

As time flew by,he already convinced her that all men are beasts,and that the only safe resort she has are her parents

He not only made both yourself and your daughter paranoid,but made sure that the others would avoid interacting with both of you by saying things like "oh,my wife became mentally ill because of pregnancy complications..please do not stress her out"

If the daughter grows suspicious about her father's occupation,she would keep it a secret from her panicked mother and would try to figure it out herself,all while trying not to give Brian any clue about it

Brian genuinely thinks he made a safe space for his family,and without the reader's reasoning I can see both the reader and her daughter having a limited life inside the cabin and the forest

[random-basil-lover]

"Oh Basil acts so childish i hate him" "Oh Basil is so annoying" "ugh Basil is so scary he's crazy i hate him"

BASIL IS FUCKING TRAUMATISED. GUYS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF HE ACTS CHILDISH (which is something i don't agree with) MAYBE CONSIDER THAT HE IS 16??? WE TEENAGERS ARE CHILDISH AND STUPID ANYWAYS

BASIL HAS SEVERE PTSD AND POSSIBLE BPD, HE POSSIBLY HAS SQUIZOPHRENIA OR ANOTHER MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION THAT MAKES IT HARD FOR HIM TO LIVE AND CONTROL HIMSELF. HE IS DEPRESSED. HE IS HURT. JUST BECAUSE HE CAN HAVE WHAT YOU COULD CONSIDER A "NORMAL LIFE" DOESN'T MEAN THAT THE GUY IS FUCKING SUFFERING.

"But he's a fictional character, why so mad?"

Fictional. characters. are. based. off. of. real. life. Basil's struggles are struggles people have IN REAL LIFE, illnesses PEOPLE HAVE, maybe even Omocat or someone of the team experienced that themselves, who knows.

If you don't understand mental illnesses, don't judge and hate. If you think you understand them but instead you are hating on the "oh, no so romantic and poetic" parts that ruin your perception of mental health being "poetic and cool", you should reflect on yourself.

Some mentally ill people hardly shower. Some mentally ill people don't brush their teeth. Some mentally ill people smell bad. Some mentally ill people live in fear, can't control themselves. It's not their fault. They didn't choose to suffer.

Also, about Basil attacking "Sunny" in 1 day left... Let me make you be in his shoes: You're sixteen, your parents weren't there for you during almost your whole life, you have abandonment issues, the only friend you truly connected with abandoned you out of nowhere after you saw your girl friend dead, had to carry her, you feared of what might happen to your best friend if they find out, and you tried to help him, which takes you to carry and hang the dead body of SOMEONE YOU LOVED, all this at 12, which is extremely traumatic by itself. One of your former friends started bullying you for something you didn't do, but you decided to not tell her you didn't do it to protect your best friend. She calls you a creep, and some other people join to keep calling you hurtful things, they even attack you physically. Your best friend came back after four years, but still wasn't there for you when you were hallucinating and panicking. It's night, and you are going to kill yourself. Your friend arrives. It's frustrating, because your dearest friend is going to leave the next day, and you needed their support so much... So, why the hell is he here? Why is he showing up and then leaving again? Does he even care about you, about what you had to sacrifice for him? You're going to commit suicide, you are in a very vulnerable moment, you are scared, angry at many things, filled with self-hatred, and guilt. You're having/almost having a panic attack. After seeing your friend, these feelings intensify, and you can no longer control yourself with all the things you're feeling at that moment, it's overwhelming, you're not thinking straight. You yell at him because he is going to leave you again, because you are hurt, and, as i said, can't think straight. You start hallucinating, but you think it is real. It is the way your brain has been coping, trying to take the blame away from your dear friend. You want to kill that hallucination, that "something" that did all the bad things (like killing your other friend Mari). You don't understand why is Sunny struggling and in front of you all the time, you want to protect him from the hallucination, you want him to be safe. Once again, you think the hallucination is real. Then, you manage to stab the hallucination in the eye... Only to realise you actually stabbed your dearest friend. You didn't mean to. You wanted to protect him. More guilt. You pass out.

Doesn't that sound like a completely terrfying thing to go through? Just because you haven't suffered it doesn't mean you have to judge and hate on someone, fictional or not. Because if you went through that, i assure you you would not be thinking straight either, and you would've done something similar, or maybe... you would be dead already. Because those are 4 years of psychological torture. Not everyone can go through 4 years of psychological torture.

Thank you.

[itsallcomplicated]

avril lavigne was so right, why r u so complicated?

Hi.

I'm not going to introduce myself, because frankly I made this blog because I feel like I've let SO many thoughts and emotions pile on as of the last four years of my life.

I used to have tumblr when I was 10, so as to keep up with my fandoms and see what the latest fanfic that everyone was raging about this week... Which in retrospect, fandoms and fanfic are largely a contributor to the endless amount of dread and anxiety I face everyday. Okay no, maybe that Larry fanfic (NOBODY JUDGE ME PLEASE I KNOW ITS BAD NOW I WAS AN IDIOT CHILD D: ) I read when I was eleven has nothing to do with my mental illness, but then again, I was reading a Larry fanfic, so yeah I think it may have been mental illness. When I used to be on Tumblr, I definitely didn't blog. I'm using Tumblr now, almost 12 whole years later, as a means of finding my safe corner in the world where I can document and write about the latest thing that has absolutely inconvenienced me and ruined my week. So instead of fanfics, I guess I'm coming back often to let y'all know if I'm doing well or if life has thrown me so many lemons and I just can't make enough lemonade out of them.

There were a lot of simple things about childhood. Especially a childhood that majorly grew up on the Internet, and also fantasizing about the glory of adulthood. My only examples of adulthood truly came from my parents and my older sister, but if we're really being honest here, I ADORED the Jersey Shore. Perhaps watching Jersey Shore at the young age of 8 wasn't necessarily the best idea, but goddamnit I wanted to be Snooki so bad. Of course when I was little, I didn't realize that that meant having to literally drink myself sick and deal with the hangxiety for three business days after. I think when you're little, it seems like adults can handle it all, even the ridiculous amounts of liquor and the confusing emotions of life. It doesn't seem like they have any issues to really deal with, other than paying the bills and keeping their family fed. It seems easy. But god is it so fucking complicated once you're actually an adult with bills and a mouth to feed. I miss feeling like I could do anything well and feeling so sure of myself, because frankly when I was little, I had the confidence to say that I would be an amazing adult. I thought being an adult meant you had the right to dictate your own way of living, and you no longer had to follow rules. I guess in a way that is still true, but I'm also kindaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... a little bitch. I have to follow rules and be told what to do, because I have serious issues with keeping a routine and the moment I fall off, I will sink into a dark hole called my bed and turn off all the lights, and sleep for an unreasonable amount of time. So life isn't like the Jersey Shore, and being an adult isn't just about being drunk on the Boardwalk and figuring out the intricacies of love. Unfortunately, its all of that and way more.

But anyways, with Snooki being one of my idols and my older sister being the other person I could look up to, I really thought I had it figured out. I gotta be honest though, the way I wrote this, it makes it sound that I idolize Snooki, and like she's amazing, but I'm just trying to explain to you, whoever is reading this, that I thought adulthood was much simpler than what it actually entails. I truly thought adulthood was just the epitome of independence and I too could go out to a Boardwalk shitfaced whenever I wanted. But really, I have never felt so goddamn confused and trapped in my life! Nothing is really stopping me from walking around piss drunk, but I also value freedom and I do not want to be arrested like Snookers, and I also don't know how to control myself respectfully and I will do something foul. Love u Snooks.

I didn't ask to grow up, but I have, and now I have to figure it out on my own.

Well actually, that's not true. I don't have to do anything on my own, I can ask for help, but that is presenting a whole other issue within me that we simply can't get into in this blog post because then this will truly be all over the place. <3 I don't even know where this blog is going. I just needed to get these thoughts out for now. :)

[sagegr33n]

PRO-HERO BAKUSQUAD X SUB BLACK Y/N {including Mina if you do girl on girl}

Praise and degrading kink? Aftercare :))

After a long day at work the squad decides to blow off some steam.

Cw- Degradation, praise ,Aftercare, smut of course, black reader, fem reader, fem anatomy, body descriptions, unedited

Summary- Headcanons to drabbles of Dom Bakusquad with a sub reader.

an: I am so sorry if you wanted a fic but im in no mental capacity to write one as of right now because im working on finals stuff so please enjoy these scenarios instead.

I do write girlxgirl but im having brain farts right now so this only has the boys in it. Ill definitely write something for mina exclusively to make up for this tho 🧍‍♀️.

Control Dom -Bakugou

He's on the less extreme sides of the dominant spectrum, but needs complete submission to get turned on and cant function if he feels he's not in control of things.

He definitely loves tying you up, He's in complete control of your pleasure whenever you let him and the aspect of you trusting him enough to be totally vulnerable with him never fails to get him off. Katsuki's huge on safe words and consent so he'll explain whatever he's about to do , because it feeds into his control kink as well as to make sure whatever He's doing is ok

----

" I'm going to tie the byte around your wrist, and you're going to be fucking still like a good girl for me right ?"

Your head feels heavy as you nod , body still reeling from the last orgasm Katsuki just sent crashing through your body.

"Use your fucking words, you wanna be good for me right ?"

"Yesh, Kat,yesh " You slur, tongue lulling out of your mouth from how over stimulated you are. "Wanna be good for you, I'll be still"

" Good fucking girl" Katsuki sighs , tightening the rope and stepping back to admire his handiwork.

Aftercare with Baku

Katsuki isn't a god at aftercare , but showing you that he cares about how your doing after a scene is important to him.

He'll help clean you up and bandage any cuts or bruises . He definitely keeps water by the bed as well and will cook for you after especially draining scenes . After he's made sure you're ok he'll want some reassurance that everything that occurred during the scene was fine with you.

Pleasure Dom- Kirishima

Big red himbo just wants to make you feel good.

His main focus during a scene is pulling out as many orgasms from you as he possibly can.

Its too the point where he refuses to even let himself cum once if he hasn't made you come undone at least twice on his fingers and three or four times on his tongue tongue , and that's before you even take his cock.

When it comes to kinks he's definitely on the vanilla side of things , but he has a huge Praise kink, tell him how good he's doing /making you feel and the man will melt.

HIs absolute favorite thing is too help you wind down after a particularly stressful day at work.

-----

" Fuck ei, s' good , s'good"

"Yeah, feels good for you princess, I'm making that pretty brown cunt feel good?"

Your head is spinning and you aren't sure how many times you've cum from eijirou's tongue ravishing you-but your certain you can feel another orgasm about to crash over you, legs buckling around his head as your eyes roll back.

"Wanna-fuck-wanna hear it-How good im making you feel baby?"

"So-s'good ei, feels so fucking good "

Kirishima almost whimpers, the sound of your pretty voice making his cock twitch.

Aftercare With Kiri

Kirishima gives very lax aftercare.

Because Your scenes are never super extreme there isnt really a need for bandaging , but he always runs you a nice bath to soak in and attempts to make you dinner.(You've learned to opt for take out")

just like Bakugou he needs to know everything he did during the scene was okay so expect a lot of questioning and to give him a lot of reassurance.

Experimental Dom-Denki Kaminari

Denki's more of a switch than anything-but when he does dom he likes to let all his perverted fantasies out on you whenever he can.

Prepare for him to be trying out any manner of things he might have seen in his favorite porn. He's almost like a child they way he'll get off of his patrol shift and come racing home, shoving his phone in your face and jumping up and down- giddy about the new thing he wants to try tonight.

------

The blonde was hovering over you. fastening the last tie connecting your leg to the bedpost and grinning like a stupid school boy.

"Kaminari are you sure about this?" You were starting to get a little nervous , you had agreed to let denki use his quirk to shock you tonight after weeks of the blondes relentless begging

" "You remember the safe word right babe."

You nod your head slightly and his grin grows bigger. "Then there's nothing to worry about"

Denki selects his favorite toy to use on you, a pink rabbit foot vibrator and switches it on . "Besides , ill only be using four of the 2 million I'm capable of, you'll be fine"

His reassurance does little to calm you.

After care with Kaminari

Aftercare with Kami varies. On days where scenes /play is lighter it mostly consists of him cleaning you up, washing the sheets and him ordering something for the two of you to eat .

On days where you try out rougher /more intense things he'll definitely focus more on aftercare and reassuring you that everything he did/said was just for the scene . He'll also take more time cleaning and bandaging you up so any bruising is kept to a minimum.

Sero Hanta Rope top/dominant.

If you weren't a rope bunny before you met sero you definitely are now that you're together .

With his quirk there was really never any other way things in the bed room could've ended up going. He asked if you were okay with one day and ever since then there hasn't been a scene where you aren't tied up in some way.

Hanta isn't crazy dominant but he is a little (very) perverted.

----

"I fucking love it when you're so vulnerable " The brunette sighs , fingers playing with the end of one of your braids.

"I could do anything i wanted to you-

"Bruise this perfect ass" He says, accentuating his words with a harsh slap to your rear, causing your body to attempt to jolt forward, unable to due to the tape holding you in place.

" Fuck that pretty mouth until your throat is raw" He smiles , his fingers grazing over lips.

"You're already so wet for me "

You can feel your face heat up as his slender fingers dip into your pussy, attempting and failing to squirm away.

" You might as well get comfortable love, I've got all night to decide.

Aftercare with Hanta.

. As soon as the scenes over hes running to untie you and rub shae butter/lotion into the welts his tape no doubt caused to form on your skin.

He likes to talk about how things went during the scene and what you liked and didnt like so he can now what and what no to change in the future. If he was especially degrading he'll make sure to reassure you that anything he might have said was just for the scene.

----

Ive been really fawking M.I.A with posting and answering asks due to finals season but it finally take it on Wednesday and Christmas break is coming up so ill DEFINENATLY be writing more.

If you're interested in more of my writing consider stopping by the tea shop -

as usual likes and reblogs are always appreciated

[compassionatereminders]

This is a vent, however I welcome ALL suggestions or thoughts. I appreciate different perspectives.

I have cptsd following an unhealthy family and a long and abusive marriage. I'm in therapy, I'm steadily working on myself and on building my new life as a single parent. My current partner is diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. They also display MANY characteristics of BPD. (The two disorders do have overlapping symptoms, so do knows)

It is very hard to stay. Much of the bad times are very similar to the mental abuse in my marriage. It's hard to trust my own judgment and memory, and it's also hard to believe the kindness that I experience in the good times. When things are good, it's great! When things start getting difficult, I try to show care and love. They don't make it easy to do though. I'll do 5 caring type things, and it's the 6th thing I should have done that gets all the attention and anger. When things are bad, I am treated like the problem, I am snapped at, I walk on eggshells to keep things calm and then I'm snapped at for walking on eggshells. Help, but don't over help. Give attention, but also don't give any. Engage in conversation, but don't overwhelm and also don't take anything personal when the entire conversation is sharp, critical, occasionally explosive, and dismissive.

The weaknesses I'm working on are mocked or criticized, and then excused away as me making assumptions. And then I get depressed, I feel cloudy headed, I think the bad thoughts I have worked through in therapy. The bad times provoke me and then I regress.

Good times are great. We do things people do *together* rather than isolated and ignored as I was before. Displays is affection. Help when I need it and don't know how to ask. Compliments. Support for my personal goals. Support when I'm feeling defeated or stuck. Laughing, playing games, watching movies. The stuff people do with their partners that I never got to do in my whole life. So much good.

It feels like the effects of my partner's mental illness is reliving my past abuses. My ex did this negative stuff to maintain coercive control and ego. I was essentially a servant at home and a trophy at career events. My current partner does this with cyclic moods or following stressful events and when I'm needed for shielding. Their individual motivations may be different, but the effects on me seem to be the same.

I don't want to end an important relationship with a truly loving, carrying, devoted person. I also don't want to continue living my life on someone else's emotional rollercoaster. Loving someone with mental illness is hard, and I don't want to let the bad stuff ruin the good stuff. I want to better handle the bad times but I haven't figured that out yet. Being logical and predictable with a person in an illogical state is so hard, especially when I'm being blamed and nit-picked. I'm worried I won't figure it out and I'll go right back to the way I was before I left my ex. I want to work with this rather than let it break me, or break us. It's just so hard to see the difference between illness vs abuse when they are so similar.

I'm sad and tired and angry and fed up and sad again.

-D

Thank you for providing a space to vent. I don't know who to talk to right now but I need to talk to someone, or at least let it out. I appreciate that this is a space to do so.

I think that the relationship you're describing here sounds very toxic and unhealthy, and that even if your current partner is a genuinely well-intentioned person who is only acting out because of their mental health issues, that still doesn't mean you should put up with being mistreated like this. Because facts are that for these toxic patterns to actually get resolved, your partner needs to fully realize and take responsibility for changing their behavior - and if they aren't capable of and/or willing to lift that task, nothing you can say or do will make the relationship healthy and safe. So you gotta ask yourself whether your partner is ready to really, truly face their issues and actively work on themselves or whether it's time to walk away. Because there's no shame in walking away from someone who can't treat you right. No, not even if they aren't hurting you on purpose.

[squiddokiddo]

Your boi Gordo for the ask game! ^^

Hi thanks for asking, sorry for the late reply.

My boi Gordo, ok.

💛🌟💛🌟💛🌟💛🌟💛

First impression:

I like this one, idk why I like this one but he's my favourite. It's a good job he's T4's pilot because I already decided that she's my favourite Thunderbird.

Impression now:

Gordon has been a staple in my life for a long time now, he has been a source of comfort through my most difficult times, thunderbirds has been my safe space since I was 12 with Gordon being right in the center of it. His sunshine has helped me battle abuse, neglect, trauma, mental illness, suicidal thoughts and self harm. I'm always able to seek some comfort from this dork when I can't find it anywhere else. (Which probably sounds a bit sad and cringe but whatever)

He's my favourite character, I absolutely love him to pieces. He's such a goofy sweetheart, all I want to do is give him a great big cuddle.

Favourite Moment:

You're asking me to narrow down only one favourite moment?? I'm going to list a couple because I have many favourite moments.

•His first rescue in Ring of Fire.

This moment solidified his position as my favourite character. I also love the lighting effects in lab scene, yes.

• Comforting Ned in Under Pressure and Aiden in extraction.

Gords has this natural talent of keeping others calm, he is understanding and never pushy or judgemental of other people's feelings and I love that about him.

•Up from the depths

Gords was an absolute badass in part one and in part two was the rebuild of Thunderbird 4 and all the emotion that went with it. You can really see how much he loves T4, he was absolutely crushed (pun intended) that his 'Bird was in that state. Poor squid. ( ´:︵:`)

•Babysitting Tom in Icarus

This one shows off his sweet and caring side and shows him being a responsible big bro figure. I like how he's also never critical of Tom's shyness and is only ever supportive towards him, as someone who's anxiety makes them clam up and go quiet, the way Gordon treats Tom is a great example of how to help out someone who's anxiety is getting to them.

Having that metaphorical or physical hand to hold for support can also be super helpful.

Idea for a story:

Uhh I'm bad at these.

I'm going to go with a Fuse redemption arc that is kick-started with Gordon saving Fuse's ass and Fuse having all these intense conflicting emotions about it.

Surprise that Gordon would save him after how he hurt him, confusion as to why would he want to rescue him, guilt because he feels like he didn't deserve to be rescued, gratefulness because his life was saved, fear because what if the Hood finds out? What if IR has ulterior motives for sparing his life?

Fuse then breaks down and apologises for his actions and begs IR to help him as he can't take anymore of the Hood's abuse and he can't go back to being under the Hood's control.

Virg is sympathetic but wary and Gords just gives Fuse a hug, telling him that he forgives him and that they'll protect him and find him a safe place to go.

Unpopular opinion:

I don't think Gords would like alcohol that isn't flavoured, he probably only drinks the fruitiest ciders and cocktails with swizzle-straws and cute little umbrellas. Also like I said with Scott and his drinking habits, because of his job Gordon can't afford to get even the slightest bit tipsy let alone be a drunken party animal, plus I think he's responsible enough to not let himself get flat out hammered.

Outside of fic I'm not all that keen on the scene in City Under the Sea where Kayo pulls off a move in Thunderbird 4 and Gordon's like "Wow I didn't even know it could do that". Not only does it present Kayo as a Mary-Sue kind of a character but more annoyingly, it presents Gordon as being clueless in his own field of expertise.

Favourite relationship:

I think probably his relationship with big bro Virgil, the two of them are so obviously close and they care about eachother so much.

Gordon and Parker are fun and they make an unstoppable team, I kinda feel bad for Gords though because Parker likes to give him a hard time for no reason. Gordon is the only Tracy brother that Parker doesn't call "Mister/Master/Sir" unless Parker wants something from him or is being sarcastic.

The poor boy is doing his best Parker, give him a break!!

Favourite headcanon:

Gordon suffers from PTSD after the hydrofoil accident, I know I've said this one before but I feel like this headcanon is important.

His PTSD is manageable and he has made massive leaps and bounds in his recovery but there are certain things that trigger him.

•Certain brands of disinfectant that were used in the hospital he stayed at and the places he did physiotherapy. The family completely avoid using anything that smells like those cleaning products in the house, in the infirmary or on the 'Birds because the scent sends Gordon into an emotional spiral.

•Certain brands of detergent and washing powder, for the same reasons above.

•Being a patient, he's way more comfortable getting treatment from his brothers or grandma than going into hospital,the idea of having to go to hospital send him into a blind panic, he's been known to hide injuries just to avoid going there.

On the other hand though, he's perfectly ok with being the caretaker and treating other people for injuries or administering medication and painkillers. It's just being on the receiving end that bothers him.

•Despite hating hospitals, as long as he isn't the patient the panic element goes away. Hospitals make him feel uneasy but he'll brave going into a hospital to visit or look after someone else.

•For a long time after the accident, being poked on his lower back without warning would send him into a bit of a shock response and he would freeze up. Over time this response has gotten less and less intense but his family still avoid touching that part of his back unannounced.

💛🌟💛🌟💛🌟💛🌟💛

Yeah I hope this is ok, I'm sorry it's so long, I could ramble on about Gordon for hours.

✮✮✮✮✮

Scott

Virgil

John

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

RIGHT THOUGH LIKE. i've made posts before about my read on what the Fuck is going on with rey; and the more i've thought it, the more i feel like what makes him so terrifying is... i think he was inclined to be abusive and controlling from the start, and his idea of 'safe' was always 'under my control.' but he at least understood how to--and that he should--overlap control with actual safety at the time, for plausible deniability and to keep them both alive. can't abuse your kid if one or both of you is dead.

and then he ended up having a genuine break from reality where he stopped registering the distinction between control and safety at all.

[cws for More of the Above, as well as mentions of irl abuse and endangerment including domestic violence + attempted murder; mentions of ableism, grooming, gaslighting, metaphorical CSA, and people in and out of universe being fucking horrible about it lmao]

his idea of keeping five 'safe' is now isolation, mind games, neglect, and abuse; five's actual physical safety, let alone psychological or emotional, is totally unimportant now because it never actually was. five says that when one died it was like 'the last string keeping him in check snapped'--which, tbh, in itself doesn't sound like rey was fine and actually had a sudden breakdown; that language implies whatever the hell was wrong with him had been getting worse for a While--and the results are him going completely mask off in a way that's terrifying.

it goes from manipulative, emotionally abusive parent who concern-trolls you into not leaving the house For Your Own Good--or outright forbids it--to being trapped in a room with said parent who is now waving a knife and rambling about how you shouldn't go outside because it's not safe. and it's all the more frightening for the fact that even with his level of understanding that the situation is fucked, five doesn't seem to realize exactly how afraid he should be.

(which, i don't doubt at all that if the invasion hadn't happened and they hadn't been thrown into the events of canon, rey would have been that first one. they'd already picked him out to be five's cêpan, and the abuse would likely have been a lot less blatant and easier to get away with long-term. now there's an AU 🥲)

and this is fascinating to me because like... you'd think it'd be Scary Mentally Ills(tm) trope bullshit. but the thing is that abusers will do bizarre, unhinged shit and detach themselves from reality by spiraling into the abuse and accompanying mindset. they buy into their own logic, they worsen the issues they're taking out on their victims and then take it out on them even more in a feedback loop, they find increasingly ridiculous iranian yogurt to distract from the problem, they develop unrealistic expectations based on what they've become used to getting away with...

...and they convince themselves of things like 'starving my child and potentially getting him killed by venomous animals is keeping him safe.' because it is safe. safe is controlled. no other definition exists anymore, or matters. and it's also a thing for abusers to escalate in sudden, terrifying, disproportionate ways in reaction to a Specific Event; a guy who takes a gun to his ex-girlfriend's house after she breaks up with him didn't Suddenly Go Crazy. he wanted control.

so with rey you're just sitting here like... how much of the dangerous, neglectful stuff is the writers not thinking things through? how much of it is rey being a stupid asshole who doesn't think things through? how much of it maybe has to do with cognitive issues from his physical illness? how much of it is cracking under outside pressure?

and how much of it is something he had in him all along, just waiting for the right circumstances to bring it to the surface?

just. god he freaks me out so bad. this poor kid. it's a really interesting dynamic and also an absolutely infuriating one because of how canon handles it lmao

ALSO GODDDDDD FOR REAL THOUGH THAT SHIT IS JUST. SO MANY FUCKIN POSTS WORTH. setrákus nearly BEATS HIM TO DEATH after months of extreme grooming, gaslighting, and abuse--which also had heavy overtones of CSA--for standing up to him and TRYING TO SAVE ELLA. and then successfully doing so!!! by putting himself in danger to warn john about the charm, and then almost getting killed by nine for it!!! and then they do shit like THIS. oh my god it makes my fuckin blood boil

i can't believe this didn't occur to me until just now but rey you absolute fucknut no wonder five doesn't want to do hours of strenuous physical exercise every day, he's starving

[webofstories]

Never Hurt You - T.H *TW and Fluff*

~

Summary: Y/N was in an abusive relationship before meeting Tom but never told him. When they get in a fight, Tom realizes that Y/N gets scared of him, and she has to tell him about her past.

~

Warnings: abuse, mentions of abuse, arguments, angst, scars, angry!Tom

~

They forgot how they got to this point. In the midst of the yelling and slamming of doors, they wouldn't be able to tell you what even started the argument.

Tom was convinced he did nothing wrong, and she was trying to explain her feelings. Neither of those things went together.

Tom started doubting whether anything he was saying was actually right or not... but something inside his thick skull just couldn't seem to be bothered to listen to a word she was saying.

"Tom, please!" Y/N yelled, exhausted from the fighting, "Can we just stop? I don't want to fight!"

Her stomach had been tied in knots, feeling like she was about to throw up. Tom was so angry, so frustrated... she didn't want the worst to happen.

"No, Y/N!" He yelled, making you flinch. You were scared, that instinct knowing that Tom wouldn't hurt you was out the door.

"You're being so fucking difficult and unfair about this. Why can't you just see that?!" He yelled once more.

You felt hot tears brimming in your eyes, refusing to allow your lip to quiver. You were scared for him to come closer, scared everytime he moved. Tom was so blinded with anger to notice that you flinched everytime he moved or raised a hand.

Your past relationship was so present in your mind that shooing the thoughts and trauma from it away wasn't possible. Your ex lover hurt you... badly.

Emotionally and physically, everything about this stupid argument with Tom was bringing you back to those times, making you want to cower in the corner.

"I-I'm sorry," your yells had been dying down to mutters, done with the arguing, "I'm just going to go to bed..."

You didn't want to tell Tom about your previous relationship. It was trauma you haven't battled yet, let alone tell another living soul about it. The only people that knew were you, your ex, and the nurse that always helped you when he was done cracking your ribs and . The thought was terrifying.

"No, don't you walk away from me!" He says through gritted teeth, grabbing your arm as you turned your back to him.

You feet couldn't turn around quick enough before he grabbed your arm, not missing a beat as he pulled you into his chest. He rage in his eyes- it was terrifying.

"Don't turn your back on me!" he yells in your face, making you want to do nothing more than disappear.

He back handed you hard enough to fall to the floor, making the side of your face throb. Your heart was racing, you couldn't be anymore aware of his every little movement.

"Please!" You screamed pleadingly, holding your hands out infront of you as if it would stop him, "P-Please, I'm sorry!"

He rolled his eyes, acting like he was going to walk away and just leave you there. Relief washed over you for a second, but quickly crashed down as his boot collided with your stomach, kicking your back into the coffee table.

"You're pathetic."

You screamed and dropped your entire body to the floor, your hands infront of yourself as you hid your face away from Tom's view. Your flashback made your skin crawl and it all felt too real. You're tears were pouring down your face- this wasn't happening.

"I'm sorry!" You quickly yelled, not even knowing what you were apologizing for, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't..."

Your voice trailed off as you broke down into tears on the floor. Tom stood there infront of you, absolutely stunned.

His heart was beating out of control out of the hour long argument and concern for you in this moment. As he looked over your body, it just screamed defense. Like someone was about to beat the crap out of you.

The sound of her tears made his heart stop. He couldn't take it- how did he miss all the signs? He didn't realize he noticed her flinching, her eyes tearing up, and her feet shuffling her further and further away from him as he yelled.

Those were all signs and he ignored them because he was angry? He hated himself.

He didn't know what to do, let alone how to fix this. He was so in shock that it took him a minute to clap back.

Eyes on you, he crouched down to your level, sticking his legs out infront of him as he sat on the floor next to you. You were backed up against the couch, and the sight made his heart hurt incredibly.

"Love?"

His voice was soft now, tender and sweet. You noticed, but felt so embarrassed. Your arms were wrapped around you now, scared to look up from your knees. He sounded like he put 2 and 2 together. You were scared.

"I'm sorry..." you whisper, your voice hoarse.

"You're not the one who should be apologizing." He whispers back, just wishing to see your pretty eyes, yet, he hated when they were filled with tears.

Tom had seen the scars on your body before. He never questioned them, but seeing as you never talked about your ex and you always flinched at a simple touch or movement of a hand, he always had a suspension that your ex hurt you. He didn't know just how badly.

"Those scars on your back..." Tom whispers, wishing he could hold you, "Did he do that?"

Your eyes met his at his word, his heart aching as he took in their red, puffy state. Your cheeks were tear stained and you were breathing heavily, your throat feeling dry. Tom hated himself for triggering this reaction out of you. He hated seeing you cry.

You nodded your head, answering his question without words. It was so hard to talk about. He deserved to know, but you didn't know what to say.

"But... why?" Tom didn't want to pester but he needed answers. He knew there was no excuse for hurting someone. "Who would want to hurt you?"

You felt like your throat was closing up on you. The saddest part was that he never had a reason for hurting you. It was all... natural to him.

"He never needed a reason," your voice croaked, shuffling your feet, "Not drugs, not alcohol, not a mental illness... it was just me."

"That's ridiculous, darling, don't tell yourself that," Tom said sternly, placing a soft hand on your knee, "There's no excuse for what he did. It was nothing that you did, it was his choice."

"But he always got so angry with me-"

"Y/N, listen to me." Tom scoots closer to you, placing you in his lap. It startled you, but he wraps his strong arms around you and you suddenly felt safe.

"Any guy that puts a hand on a woman or anyone else is a waste of creation. He deserves hell for what he's done to you, and there's no reason for him to even hurt a hair on your head." Tom speaks strongly, making you look him in the eye as his thumb caressed your arm.

"You get on everything single one of my nerves and I've never once thought about even flicking you, love. I'd never hurt you, never in a lifetime or more... it just makes me love you more. You mean too much to me to even think about it." he whispers shakily.

Tom had tears in his eyes, your sensitive boy. You smiled at him, tears on your lips as you wiped them away. You cupped Tom's face in your hands and brushed your small thumbs under his eyes gently, caressing the tears off his face. He smiled, leaning into your touch as he closed his eyes. He'd never hurt you.

"I believe you." You whisper, resting your forehead against his.

His hand rubbed your lower back gently, cupping your cheek oh-so-tenderly as he placed the lightest of kisses on your lips.

"I'm sorry for arguing with you and triggering that, pretty girl... I've been frustrated with work and shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry." Tom admits, guilt pinging his heart.

"It's okay," you chuckle a bit, kissing his forehead gently, "It takes two for an argument, so I'm sorry too."

Neither of you said anything else as Tom picked you up and carried you to the bed you shared. With whole hearted intentions, he removed all your clothes, which were tear stained. Lightly touching the scars on your back and stomach, he layed you down and peppered kisses on all of them.

He removed his clothes and slid into bed next to you, doing nothing but holding you close. Nothing else needed to be said, for everything happened that was supposed to happen.

Tom was happy that he knew about your past despite the pent up rage he had inside him for your ex. He'll learn to let it go.

With drooping eyes, you fell asleep with parted lips, facing Tom. He couldn't help but stare at what he had infront of him, letting out a sigh of content as he pulled you closer to his body.

He whispered one last thing before slipping into a peaceful sleep.

"I'd never hurt you..."

He never wanted to lose this.

~

[sleeplessincairo]

[ dating bucky barnes would include: ]

warnings: a somewhat vague sexual outline and a few cusses

///

Him walking around with a notebook everywhere. Bucky got the idea from Steve when he saw him writing new things to his modern day to-do-list, so Bucky decided to do the same except fill his notebook up with his old memories instead; anything he could remember from his life before being The Winter Soldier. At first, there were only a few pages filled but as his life starting to include domestic and mundane-as well as a healthy environment-activities, he started having spontaneous and soon-to-be-frequent flashbacks that, later on, contributed to dozens of notebooks filled with not The Winter Soldier, not Prisoner #56898, not White-Wolf, but James Buchanan Barnes.

You never mentioned the notebook to Bucky nor asked to read it-Bucky was a private person, and you understood and respected that-but you still started carrying a pen with you, just in case he ever needed one.

At first, the notebook(s) was/were filled with solely memories of his past-No matter how insignificant. Whether it was that time the toilet got clogged in his shabby little apartment and had to stay with Steve and Sarah Rogers for a week because he couldn't afford a plumber or that time he lost his shoe in bar brawl and some swanky chrome-dome gave him a few bucks to buy some shoes and a sock without a hole in it. He wrote everything his mind could clearly grasp. But as the two of you got closer, he started filling it with memories he had with/of you because-even if he would never admit it-you made him feel right at home.

You may or may not have stolen his dog tags from the Smithsonian museum just as a reminder that even after all the pain, despair, manipulation, and torture he still managed to be the good person he was all those years ago. He was still James Barnes, local heartthrob that volunteered at the soup kitchen during his free time, that fought a war and lost an arm during the process, that dreamt of flying cars and a future without all fights and wars, that had a soft spot for a certain trouble-attracting boy whose heart was too big for his body.

“Jesus doll, I didn’t know I was dating a thief.” “Oh James, I thought you’d already realized that when I stole your heart from right under your nose.”

Bucky’s not big on talking or directly verbally professing his love, but that’s okay; His eyes tell you everything. There was always something about Bucky’s eyes that were so mesmerizing, so captivating, you could instantly tell how he was feeling. Before you, his eyes resembled a pale arctic blue that were as cold as glaciers-His eyes were hollowed and empty, scratched raw from any emotion but your growing presence thawed them out, they warmed through the cold exterior of what was once The Winter Soldier and reminded you that the hottest fires burn blue.

He does, however, reference quite a few interesting slang choices from the 40′s, which is his own little way of demonstrating verbal affection, ranging from calling you ‘Doll’ & ‘Sweetheart’ to calling you ‘The Cat’s Meow’ & ‘Butter and Egg Fly’

He’s never been very invested in hygiene. It never really was something important for him since he was in the Army and BO was a pretty normal thing, and then he became The Winter Soldier and HYDRA never exactly gave him a bathtub-Not that he was in the right mindset to to care about it anyway-So you usually have to remind him to shower everyday-Not that you mind, it would usually end with the both of you showering together and you having the opportunity to wash his hair yourself.

Soon enough, Bucky gets real invested in hygiene, he starts reading about self-care routines, exfoliating, conditioning, and gets completely hooked. Secretly, he does it because he likes the routine, something mundane and fixed to do to keep him busy.

You’re the only one that gets to call him James. Something about the way you say it warms his heart, he’d focus completely on the way your mouth moves as you say it-It reminded him of the way his mother would say his full name before busting his chops about coming home all dirty but then later ruffling his thick hair and offering a plate of strawberry jam sandwhiches, or how the word was always lurking in the dark corners of his mind like the silhouette of a ghost he couldn’t seem to recognize until you brought it to life.

Him always reaching out for your hand when he feels out-of-place, outside, or honestly just all the time because it helps him feel secure and grounded.

Steve third wheeling the both of you all the time. No seriously, literally all the time. He spends more time in the apartment you and Bucky share more than his own to the point where you and Bucky wonder if he actually has one. 

Steve has a key to your place-Even though, the both of you never gave him a key in the first place-and has a habit of interrupting the both of you or walking in on the worst possible moments.

“Hey guys, what are ya doi-Oh...Sorry I didn't know-Buck, you don't need to throw-Jesus, okay, okay I’m going.”

“Who the hell does it look like I’m doing, Steve.”

Bucky being very insecure about his arm, he even refuses to touch you with that arm-Subconsciously, he’s afraid he’ll accidentally hurt you. At first, he only ever wears long-sleeved shirts and a glove even on the hottest days as if he’d somehow forget that there was a metallic limb under all the cotton, but slowly like molasses he starts accepting it. He starts wearing open finger gloves, then discarding the gloves, then wearing 3-quarter sleeves, then short-sleeved shirts, then sleeveless shirts, then finally feeling comfortable enough to take off his shirt in front of you which leads to a night filled with discarded clothing, the sounds of soft murmurs and reassurances, the rolling of each other’s names off each other tongues like a prayer, and the rustling of the blanket against the delicate movement of your intertwined bodies skin-on-skin, skin-on-metal as the both of you unravel thread by thread in each other’s arms.

Truth is, you love his metal arm, you love the way it’s cool against your warm cheek on hot summer nights, you love the splashes of light that kiss it every morning making it sparkle, you love the soft and soothing whirring noises it lets out breaking the silence in your room, you love it because it’s a part of him and God knows how much you love everything about this man.

Despite being the assassin that killed JFK, managed to get away with it, and mind boggle conspiracists for decades he’s a bit clumsy. He has a habit of accidentally breaking things and later on, not telling you about it.

"James Buchanan Barnes, I thought I developed super strength-and even asked Stark to do some tests on me, but apparently you just happened to forget to mention and explain why the fuck doors are falling off their hinges!"

Losing sleep with Bucky. He tends to have very frequent and graphic nightmares which leads to various panic attacks and the inability to sleep, and you're more than happy to stay up with him and comfort him. Sometimes you’d talk while he listened and watched the way your lips moved or the way the pony tail you had gone to bed with loosened and hundreds of strands escaped the grasp of the hair band or the way a yawn would escape your lips and your hand would momentarily rise to cover your mouth but get lazy halfway, other times you’d lay in each other’s arms in complete silence while you traced patterns on his chest and trail kisses across his skin.

You being his anchor. You holding him tightly and assuring him that he’s okay, that you're here, that you're real, that he’s out, that he’s safe, and many other tender 3-worded sentences uttered over and over again like a mantra until he’s murmuring them back into your chest. 

Sometimes, when he has really bad nightmares and panic attacks you grab his notebook and start reading the memories out loud while you lay his head on your lap and run your hand through his hair in a calming manner until he calms down. It soon becomes a regular thing where you read him a memory before he goes to bed like a bedtime story.

Bucky Barnes is a man who was tortured and tormented for years, a man whose life was ripped right from his very arms along with his very own arm, a man who has gone through a long and unforgettable journey where he has learned to cope, grow, accept, and embrace himself and now he’s made it his mission to encourage and help others to do the same, whether they're struggling with their sexuality, amputation, mental illness, gender, or general self-acceptance.

You educated him about women’s rights because things are a lot different then in the 1940s; women are no longer obligated to get married, cater to a man’s every whim, have children, and other traditional gender roles. At first, Bucky’s very confused and doesn't understand why feminism is so important-I mean, lets face it, Bucky was raised in a traditional society and was later on manipulated to being a bloodthirsty assassin and now suddenly, he can think on his own and his life has turned completely upside down from thinking his own thoughts without HYDRA around to thinking past social constructs and norms so its normal for him to be a bit weary. However, you're there to explain thoroughly about how unjust society still is and how women may have won a few battles but still have a war to fight in a society where they are hyper-sexualized, mistreated, and controlled, and Bucky immediately thinks of Peggy Carter and how the men used to catcall her, how they raked her body with inappropriate stares, how she was ignored and seen as a pretty face, and then he finally understands. 

Dozens of articles about mysterious beatings of assaulters around New York.

His metal arm is decorated with dozens of pins, magnets, and stickers of all the movements he supports. Oh man, you should see him during Women’s marches and Pride fairs, considering all the black he usually wears seeing him dressed in bright colors or a pink shirt that says ‘On Wednesdays, we destroy the patriarchy’. It’s a sight that truly belongs in the history books.

Bucky breaking hold of the toxic masculinity he was subjected to in the 1940s and advocating for men to be able to display their God-given emotions freely, to not feel obligated to put on a tough guy front, to telling boys its okay to cry, to feel, to act, to wear, and to be whomever they please to be. 

Bucky visiting youth centers and giving advice and support to the kids there. Every kid he meets reminds him of Steve, whether its in their stubbornness, taste for trouble, lostness, or the glimmer of potential he sees in every single one of them. He remembers every single name of the teenager he meets and later on, uses them as a mantra whenever he’s undergoing a panic or anxiety attack as well as use SHIELD’s equipment to check up on them every once in a while.

Bucky going to children’s hospitals every week to cheer up the little kids there. He ends up being quite the inspiration and their ‘Favorite Superhero’ for the kids with amputations there and they end up being one of the very few people who are allowed to touch his metal arm. Something about the way their eyes shine with hope and their hands melt at the feeling of the metal warms his heart and his insecurities.

[jaehyunsuh]

trust

—pairing: idol! Taeyong x reader

—genre: au/ fluff/ boyfriend! Taeyong

—words count: + 1k

summary: for a long time you have felt pretty lonely and sad, yes you have friends and stuff but they always are making comments that make you feel upset or uncomfortable and sometimes they don't even seem to care about what you think or say. In university some people are really nice but the majority just use you since you are so kind to everyone, you don't want to change your personality since you know it's better to help people and be nice rather then treat them like sh*t. You just need a friend, someone you can trust and tell your problems to, hopefully you will find it soon. You could talk to your boyfriend Taeyong but he is already so stressed with his idol life, that is enough to him.

today you were able to get out early from your job so you decide to walk home, so like that you can explore the city, look at the the people, breathe fresh air and clear your mind a bit. You usually take a taxi or something because you are tired but it's 4pm and the weather it's nice so it seems like a good day to go for a walk.

lately you have felt pretty lonely, people lately hasn't been the best to you lately, since you are so smart and offer to help people when you say no they start telling you mean stuff and are so stupid, you really don't mind about people's comments or anything but having no one to talk to makes you overthink stuff, by luck you distract yourself cooking, painting and working so like that it doesn't affect your mental health.

Taeyong is the best boyfriend you could ask for but you are used to be the one who gives him advices and makes him feel better since he is constantly under stress, so you decide not to overwhelming with your problems and keep them to yourself.

you walk past a buddhist temple you have seen before but never were curious of walking, you have never been really religious or anything but  today you felt like visiting it, those structures were big, beautiful and amazing, it truly left you impressed. You walk and see some tourists looking outside the place, you are able to see the inside if you are quiet and respectful, so you decide to climb the stairs. You see a boy bowing at the giant Buda figure inside the temple, it was really beautiful and breathtaking, he gets up and walks to the entrance were you are standing. 

"Uhm excuse me." You say reaching to the boy. He looks at you scared and kind flinches. You looked at him confused.

"I'm really curious about this religion and i have never knew anything about it, so would you mind to tell me a little bit about this?." The boy's body relax a little bit looks at you up and down 

"My name is y/n by the way." You extent his hand to him and he shakes it. 

"I'm Daniel." He gives a sweet smile. He tells you to see somewhere around the temple so he can talk better to you.

"Well i don't really consider myself religious but buddhism sees life as a process of constant change, and its practices aim to take advantage of that. It means that one can change for the better."

"Wow, that's really beautiful." You say impressed.

"Yes, it's good! Also they practise meditation, which is a way of developing more positive states of mind that are characterised by calm, concentration, awareness, and emotions. Using the awareness developed in meditation it is possible to have a fuller understanding of oneself, other people, and of life itself." He explains.

"It really sound fascinating, how did you get into it?" You never knew there was a religion that teach such necessary and important things like those.

"Well my parents are buddhists so I've been into it since i was young. Like i said i was never really into it but since I'm 18 I've always need something to keep me mentally stable and help me relax so i started coming here often." He gives a kind smile.

"That's really cool, I'm glad you found something that gives you peace, that's really what i need right now." You sigh.

"Well if you are not into religion you can do yoga, start meditating by yourself or you can talk to me!" He suddenly changes and starts being more open and friendly.

"Thank you, you are so nice. I think ill take all three." You laugh.

you continue to talk about your stuff and you tell him all the things that you have been feeling lately, he gave you some advices here and there about how to distract yourself from those negative thoughts and move on from this toxic people. You feel so thankful that this total stranger it's actually listening to you and being interested in what you have to say. You talked about college, your job, the music you're into and how you how much you love painting and cooking.

"Well, thank you so much for telling me about this, i found it pretty interesting."

you decided to exchange numbers and talk with each other, he said that every time he could go to the buddhist temple he will meet you outside and talk to you and maybe go and eat something. You have been seeing each other for around one month now and it has really helped your mental state, he teach you some breathing excercises that helped your anxiety and tried to meet a couple timed at week to do yoga.

Taeyong's POV

y/n has been kinda weird lately, she doesn't talks or says any important stuff to him anymore, she just talks about college stuff and the netflix show she is watching, also she goes out almost everyday and comes back later at afternoon, so it is making him Taeyong worried if she is seeing someone else. He doesn't want to sound mean or anything but he knows y/n doesn't has friends anymore, just the ones back in her country, but here in Seoul many people has been fake, treat her bad and been fake because she is dating and idol. He tries not to overthink and keep trusting his girlfriend.

"Hey Tae, we need to talk to you." Johnny says.

"Okay?"

"Hyung, y/n has been kinda weird lately she doesn't even wants to talk to us that much." Jaehyun sits down in the couch.

"We all talked and we wanted to tlwt you know that our friends and their friends have seen y/n hanging around with some guy." Taeil says. Taeyong looks shocked and like it's about to cry.

"We didn't believe it until Mark told us what he saw today." Taeil continues.

"What did you saw?" Taeyong takes a deep breath and close his eyes.

"I was walking around the Han River and i saw them sitting around there." Mark says upset. Taeyong close his hands frustrated.

"But look, we aren't saying she is cheating, maybe it's her collage partner or something." Jaehyun says trying to make his friend happy.

"Yes, and when i saw them they weren't holding hands and not even were so close to each other."

"Bro, she loves you and instead of thinking about breaking up ask her if there is something else making her distracted." Yuta pats his friends back. 

Taeyong grabs his jacket and makes his way to y/n's apartment, he calls 3 times and she doesn't picks up which makes him worried since he is thinking about all the things that member said.

Y/n's POV

you are in the living room watching some tv when you hear Taeyong open the door.

"Y/n we need to talk." He looks like he was crying and you wonder what happened to him.

"Yes, what happened babe?." 

"Y/n, you don't love me anymore? Are you cheating on me?" He ask straight up.

"No, Taeyong, what the hell? How could i ever cheat on you. You are the person i love the most." You say slightly frustrated.

"Some people are talking about you hanging out with another guy and even Mark saw you with him the other day, and the fact that you have been so quiet and don't even talk to me that much anymore, so i think I'm convinced it may be truth." He sits down and takes a deep breath trying not to look at you. Your heart breaks at seeing him like this, you know the truth and if you tell him he is gonna still feel upset.

"Taeyong listen to me, this guy is a buddhist, a met him the other day when i walked around the temple, he explained me that it helps you relax and control your emotions, i told him that i was going through a tought time and he decide to help me. He teach me how to meditate, breathing exercises and we do yoga almost every afternoon. It has helped me a lot with my stress. And that's it, he is just a friend, there is not any other relationship between us and if you want to talk to him or something I'm sire you would be more convinced." You say while holding his hands.

"And why didn't you told me about this?" He looks at you sad.

"I love you more than anything else in the world, you known i can help you and that you can talk to me about anything." He looks at you.

"Tae i know, but I'm always the strong one that is comforting you, making you feel okay and helping you. I know you have been through a lot lately and i didn't wanted to bother you with my problems while you have your owns. I'm sorry." You look at the the floor disappointed at yourself.

he grabs your lower back and pulls you into a kiss. You feel safe and peaceful again in between his arms and lips. He kisses you softly making your feel better than before and taking all your worries away. 

"You can always trust me, okay?" Taeyong kisses your forehead.

"From now on, let's promise to trust each other anytime, and talk about every single thing that is bothering us. We are stronger together."

"I love you." You hug him.

"I love you too." He leaves another kiss on your forehead.

[ellaenchanting]

Good evening. I've talked to 3 psychotherapists and nobody was able to give me an answer due to lack of experience and knowledge. Since you're a deeply integrated part of the hypno community on tumblr and in rl and since you seem to have lots of hypno experience, I was wondering if you have a piece of advice for someone who wants to try out hypnosis but has had a psychosis before. I "just" want to know if it's safe for me to do or whether I should rather stay away from it.

Hi!

So first of all, I’m going to make clear that this is my Kinky Hypnosis Blog and am going to be giving opinions/sharing ideas as a Kinky Hypnosis Blog Owner. I’m not acting here in any sort of professional mental health capacity- so please take that into account when considering my feedback.

 I did a quick stroll through some research yesterday and was actually a little surprised at what I saw. When I was first learning/reading about hypnotherapy, I remember seeing constant warnings against hypnotizing people with tendencies towards psychosis (and especially people diagnosed with schizophrenia) because hypnosis was seen as inherently dangerous for this population. I was expecting to see tons of modern, research-based warnings cautioning people away.

I did not really see warnings about hypnosis being dangerous for people with psychosis.  Instead, I  saw recommendations not to use it with psychotic patients because  hypnotherapy so far seems to be an ineffective treatment tool for psychosis (particularly for schizophrenia). I know there  are researchers out there right now still working on ways to utilize hypnosis for  treatment in this population,  but so far their results have not been good enough to make it a recommended tool. Results haven’t been catastrophic or dangerous, notably, just non-promising for the effectiveness of hypnosis as treatment.  

The American Society for Clinical Hypnosis (which is the big non-layperson hypnotherapy group in the States) DOES recommend against hypnotizing people experiencing psychosis- but explicitly more because patients experiencing psychosis  tend to have shorter attention spans. It’s less a “this is dangerous” warning than a “this may not work or be beneficial”. 

I can think of a few other places where the notion that you shouldn’t hypnotize people with psychosis came from. There was a famous case in the 90s of Paul McKenna hypnotizing a man in a stage show who started showing psychotic symptoms a few days later. The court ruled in favor or Mr. McKenna- backed by testimony by   the British Society of Experimental and Clinical Hypnosis and other experts that stage hypnosis could not cause schizophrenia. Still- since this all was happening roughly around the time I was first really starting to learn hypnosis, this might have impacted why I heard so much of “don’t hypnotize schizophrenics”. This warning also appears in a few clinical articles but- mostly very very old ones and not ones that really represent current thought.

There are some seemingly strong links between what delusions and hallucinations look like in hypnosis vs. in regular psychosis. Hypnotic suggestion especially can kind of  mimic the thought processes that naturally go into delusional thinking by encouraging magical thinking/looser associations. There’s also been a vibrant field of study in the past several years using hypnosis to simulate certain psychotic delusions- erotomania, Capgras syndrome, mirror misidentification, delusions of possession etc.- as well as conversion disorder and then do a brain scan of the hypnotized person. This is done as an exploratory way to guess at how delusions are produced in the brain during psychosis (because it is often much easier to give a hypnotized person a brain scan than a person experiencing psychosis). So- at least some researchers feel like the suggested delusions and close enough to organic delusions to research one for clues in the other.  There has also been some suggestions that the decrease in reality monitoring in someone who is hypnotized and hallucinating/experiencing effects and someone experiencing psychosis and hallucinating  may come from the same neurological place (both show decreased activity in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex- which seems to help with reality monitoring amongst lots of other things). So- neurologically hypnosis and psychosis may look pretty similar. That doesn’t mean there’s any sort of causative relationship at all or that one will spark the other but- they may not be entirely dissimilar mental states.

So- let’s talk practical. 

No one knows the mental long term effects of frequent hypnosis. There have been no studies on the long-term effects of doing kinky hypnosis on anyone, much less people who have experienced psychosis previously. Longitudinal non-kinky hypnosis research on subjects doesn’t help because 1. it’s rare 2. it’s not usually looking at psychological effects of doing hypnosis 3. those subjects are hypnotized WAY less frequently than kinky subjects are. 

Who knows what the mental health effects of long term frequently hypnosis are? Or of doing kinky hypnosis? When I walk around cons people seem mostly OK?

You indicate above that you’ve experienced psychosis before but it doesn’t seem to be a current or a long-term part of your mental health picture. I’m curious about what “psychosis” means in this situation and what contributed to it. Also how long ago this episode was and how long the psychotic symptoms lasted. Was it in the middle of a manic episode*? Did you have brief psychotic disorder? Was it drug induced? Did it  happen because of physical illness? 

 I’m curious because if your psychosis was pretty state-specific (during mania or depression, drug-induced, caused by extreme lack of sleep/food) it is less likely to pop up in situations where those conditions are not the same. So, for example, if you experienced paranoia when you were manic but haven’t experienced it again, you are unlikely to slip into paranoia again randomly when you aren’t manic*.  

I’m also curious if you had just a psychotic symptom and that’s it. Many people (potentially even most people) have or will experience some kind of perceptual hallucination in their life for some reason- but that doesn’t mean they were clinically psychotic or mentally ill. (If this is the case, you may have less to worry about?)

I’m having difficulty justifying telling you “Hey, you’ve had a psychotic episode before so you should never do hypnosis” based on information I’ve found. I would also have difficulty justifying the stance of “I’m not seeing a specific warning in the clinical literature so- go knock yourself out! Do all of the hypnosis!” I think I’m  going to default to Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Know that  you are doing a potentially risky thing and be cautious.  Talk lots with your partner about your history and what you are experiencing every time you do hypnosis. Monitor yourself before and afterwards- check in with how you feel. You likely want to go slooooow with doing new things with lots of check ins. Be willing to stop if you’re feeling off or like you are having negative mental health effects.

There may be different risks based on what activities you’re pursuing with hypnosis. What are you looking to get out of your experience? If it’s an induction with relaxation and maybe some sexy orgasm suggestions, that seems like it might not be so risky. It would probably behoove you to stay from suggestions that replicate the specific psychosis you experiences- so if you have heard voices you may stay away from a suggestion where you her your hypnotist’s voice in your head at all times. If you tend towards paranoia specifically, you likely want to stay away from a LOT of the mind control-flavored stuff that’s pretty prevalent in hypnokink. If your psychosis was tied to a particular state- like mania or depression- you should probably stop doing hypnosis for a bit if you notice yourself going into that state again until you become more regulated. Pay attention to yourself.

You could also not take the risk. Hypnosis is always a somewhat risky activity- for all of us, not just you- and it’s perfectly fair to not want to take that risk for a variety of legitimate reasons. You are probably less at risk of harm from hypnosis than the folks with dissociative disorders or DID- and I see those folks around the community and seemingly doing OK**. So it’s all about what risk are you comfortable with and how willing are you/your partner to communicate and self-monitor during exploration.

Thank you for this question anon! I hope I answered it in a way that makes sense and works for you. :)

Interesting article on hypnotizability and mania in bipolar I/II here btw: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5679347/

*Unless you’re dealing with schizoaffective disorder- but it doesn’t sound like you are.

**I think? Y’all- take care of yourself if you tend to be dissociative, ok? That’s especially true if you have a trauma history. It’s OK to stop if things get to be too much. 

[cool-guysyndrome]

(I was gonna post this to Instagram first but the story got too long so here sees it first skkdhdh)

Title: dammit why do i always give the angst a resolution

TW: anxiety attack, heckloads of angst, swearing because virgil+stress=i get to write swearwords

Patton paced the dimly lit room, becoming more agitated with every step. He didn't know where he was, why he was there, how he got there, anything. It was awful being completely in the dark, thrown randomly into some foreign place with no forewarning or instructions. He had so many questions that it was hard to think at all. Where were his friends? Were they okay? Were they even in the same place as him? What if they were across the country or something? How would he find them? Where even was this country? Was he in a country? Why was he in a weird castle thingy on a mountain? It was scary up so high. What were these weird clothes he was wearing? What was wrong with him? Why could he suddenly create a weird green fire with his hands? Was he going crazy?

Patton sat down and leant against the cold stone wall, trying to steady his breathing. Was this how Virgil felt when he had an anxiety attack?

He looked down at his hands, scared to accidentally replicate the spectacle he had made when he went outside and set a tree on fire.

"Maybe i can control it?" He thought aloud. Worth a try.

Patton shut his eyes and tried to focus his thoughts on the tingly feeling that had spread through his fingertips when he made the fire the first time. Sure enough, he felt a soft heat begin to emanate from where his hands were outstretched, and when he opened his eyes he saw the small green flame dancing across his fingertips.

He found that he could make the flame larger or smaller by mentally compressing it, like a camera's focus lens. It was amazing, but at the same time it scared Patton more than any fear he'd ever felt before. This wasn't a kind power. This was something destructive, something dangerous. If this power was any clue to why he was in this strange place, it was not a comforting one.

Patton released his mental hold on the fire and it dissipated into nothing. He realised with a start that he had been crying while watching it, and he wiped his cheeks dry with a sleeve.

Whatever this was, it wasnt going to be easy, and how his heart ached every time he thought about the others was really not helping. Especially Virgil. Sweet, lovely Virgil, who was always kind and worried for Patton as much as his mother did, was probably hurting just as much as he was. That thought would have killed Patton, but his thoughts were mercifully interrupted by a-

---

-'CRASH!'

"Fuck. Just when i thought my day couldn't get better huh."

Virgil glared at the fallen ornament like it was personally responsible for all the wrongs in the world, which it probably was in his eyes.

He crouched down with a sigh and picked up the broken pieces of ceramic. There were far too many breakable things in this stupid palace for someone as clumsy and lazy as him to be around.

He found some servant to give the pieces to, waving off their apologies and persistent praise. It was exhausting, all this social interaction. Virgil wondered how Roman ever wished for this kind of thing, but he supposed Roman was the only person crazy enough to like it.

He kept walking, slow enough to still pass as a walk, but fast enough that he could escape to his room as quickly as possible. Finally he reached safety, locking the door behind him. He sunk to the floor, exhausted.

"This place is fucking crazy. I think im going crazy." He told the empty room.

"I dont know what they want me to do half the time, and they treat me like the fucking king of the universe more than some stupid prince. I just want to go home and not have to deal with this stupid, stressful, nonsensical place and its mad inhabitants!"

He ran a hand through his hair.

"Inhabitants? What am I saying? Fuck, i sound like Logan."

Logan. The others. Shit. "Great now thats just a whole other problem as well. Wonderful. Fucking fantastic!"

Virgil stood up and took his cape off, tired if the heavy and unnecessary clothes. He started to anxiously pace the room, caught up in a flurry of thoughts that were making it a little hard to breathe.

"Shit. Shitshitshit. The others. Are they safe? I need to go find them. Are they even here? What if theyre in trouble? Logan and Roman might be okay on their own, but Pat..."

Virgils voice trailed off as his mind thought a horrible, terrible thing. Patton. Gentle, bubbly Patton, the light of his life, could be in danger. Or worse, already hurt. Virgil fell back to the floor, every inhale more of a struggle than the last. His whole body filled up with an overwhelming sense of dread that drowned out any of his attempts to calm himself down. His heart began to pound like it wanted to escape his chest, and he pulled at his hair like he wanted to rip it out. He thought he heard a strangled scream from someone nearby. Why were they screaming? He should be the one screaming. Then he realised that it was his own voice, and he was the one emitting the heartbroken cry. He managed to stop his screams but there was no ceasing the sobs that wracked his body as he lay curled on the floor, his mind repeating a single horrible thought a million times-

---

-over Patton's head flew a tiny streak of black, and it seemed to be hurt because it wasnt flying in a very coordinated fashion. One wing was flapping a lot less than the other.

Patton waited for the little animal to settle, then he stood a few feet away from where it had landed on the table.

"Hey, hey, I'm not gonna hurt ya. You look like you need a bit of help, actually, little guy."

He started moving towards the table very slowly so he didnt startle the creature.

"Hey, its okay, im gonna help you, alright? Lets have a look at that wing."

Patton continued to talk soothingly to the little creature until he was close enough that he could reach out and touch it. He saw that the animal was a small black bat, and one of its wings had a splinter of wood in it, not enough to do bad damage, but enough to affect its flying ability.

Patton slowly outstretched his hand, and waited for the small animal to make a move first, as a kind of permission. The little bat looked up at him with big black eyes with a shine of blue in them, and if it were human Patton would have sworn it was studying his face.

Then, all of a sudden, he heard a voice say, "Help?"

He nearly fainted.

"What?! Did you- did you just speak?!"

He watched the bat carefully, but its little face didnt move an inch even though he heard the voice clear as day. "Help wing?"

Patton couldn't help staring at the little creature.

"How are you doing that?!"

"Person help wing? Yes, no?"

"Oh my goodness gracious. And i thought the fire was weird."

"Help wing, yes, no?"

"Yes, yes, sorry, yes, ill help you. May i?"

Patton held out a hand to the bat's wing. The little creature obliged and lay its wing across his hand.

"If i ever see him again, i will definitely tell Virgil about this. He'll hate me for it because he's always wanted to talk to animals."

"Vir..gil?"

"Yea, hes my boyfriend."

"Oh. Boy Friend Virgil." The little animal seemed to think for a second, then it spoke again.

"Boyfriend, Virgil. I, Jazzy. You?"

"What?" Patton took a second to realise what the little creature meant.

"Oh, is that your name? Oh! Its lovely! I'm Patton!"

"Pat..ton. Patton. Patton help Jazzy."

"Yes, thats right, im helping you! By the way, are you a boy or a-

---

-Gurl you are a mess. You're lucky i can pick locks hun."

Remy closed the door quietly and went to sit beside where Virgil still lay on the floor.

"I heard you scream. Good thing i convinced those other losers that I'd handle this." He glanced down at Virgil again, noting his fists still clenched in his hair.

His voice was a bit more firm as he continued. "Virgil. Can i touch you?"

The purple-haired boy hesitated a moment, then shakily nodded through his hands. Remy gently pried his hands down from his hair.

"Can you sit up for me?"

Virgil did.

"Okay. Can you copy my breathing? 4-7-8 yeah?"

Virgil nodded.

Once Remy was sure that Virgil was no longer in such a bad state, he got him to sit on his bed and gave him a glass of water.

"Thanks." Virgil managed as Remy handed him the glass.

"Youre fine, gurl, i get this kind of thing a lot. The staff here get stressed all the time and someones gotta help calm 'em down, y'know?"

"Yeah."

"Besides, gotta have you in top condition so i can 'scold you' as Perce puts it, or as i like to say, roast your sorry ass."

"Really? What did i fuck up this time?"

"Oooh gurl you wouldnt believe it. So much that the cat wants your hide."

"The cat?"

"The cat."

Virgil wasn't quite smiling, but his eyes werent as sad any more.

Remy lay back on his bed like he owned it.

"Nah, I'm messing with ya."

"I know." Virgil couldnt help a small smile.

"Its not the cat, hun, its the rats that cat's chasing that want your blood. Have fun arguing with rodents."

"That bad huh?"

"Nah not really. Percy wants to help you with some stuff you were struggling with today."

"Struggling?" Virgil raised an eyebrow at the other man.

Remy chuckled. "Gurl, you and i both know you aren't really the prince. Gotta have someone in on the secret to help before everyone is."

"Touché."

After Remy left, Virgil lay back on his bed, realising just how exhausted he was. This wasn't going to get any easier. But maybe it could, at the very least, be possible.

[l13]

♡ cod men and their nsfw visuals part 2 ♡

part 1 here

WARNINGS : NSFW, 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI, the links are literally p#rn, proceed at your own risk.

CHARACTERS : alejandro, gaz, keegan, ghost, soap, price, könig

alejandro vargas

♡ this man just doesn't give a single flying fuck. He's gonna control the pace, if he wants to, and that's a promise. Holding you by the back of your thighs and bouncing you on his cock is just one of his fave ways to do so- "Shit- such a wet fucking pussy you have, cariño" "Let me ruin it,"

♡ well. if you're gonna beg him so sweetly to fuck your face... that means you're ready for it right? Wrong. You'd never be ready for how this man face fucks even if you took monthly courses for it. The fact is, no matter how dirty, rough and down right sinful this man treats you when he's face fucking you- he'd gaze down at you softly each time he pulled out, "You good, baby?" grinning lazily as you assured him you were fine- tears running down your cheeks as you heaved, "You sure?"

♡ i am mentally not okay. "Stop crying, mi vida, we're not done yet."

.⋆

kyle 'gaz' garrick

♡ think it's safe to say gaz seems like he'd enjoy anal don't you? LMAOOO "babe please can we try somethin'? I bet you'll love it." oh you loved it alright.

♡ sometimes kyle is just so desperate for you- he can't even wait till your clothes are off and he's situating you over his cock, grinding his hips up at you as you roll your own, and there's sweat dripping down his temple as you both get lost in the pleasure, "Shit- just like that," "Ffuck yeah, baby- you're so good t'me," he truly almost loses his mind at how good you feel even over all of your clothes

♡ if he's fingering you, gaz is taking his sweet time in doing so- he's soft and slow as he uses his fingers to rub your pussy- pressing needy kisses on your parted lips each time you moan, "You like this, babe?" "Want me to go slower?.. No? Y'want me to go faster?...Nah that doesn't sound right"

.⋆

keegan russ

♡ what can i say he's a 'i'll paint your pussy with my cum and shove myself back inside immediately afterwards" kinda guy, gets the biggest ego boost each time he fucks you fr "Ah fuck- baby..." "Best fucking dick you ever had, isn't that right kid?"

♡ RAUDGDGHH i'm so sorry ill contain myself- basically he would gladly spend hours just in between your legs, teasing you, touching you over your underwear no matter how many times you beg him to hurry up and do smth already he just chuckles lowly, "Nah, I'd rather be doing this.." fucker has the biggest hard-on as well but just won't stop playing with your pussy

♡ no because- no becauuuse listen to me. LISTEN TO ME. I'M RIGHT. KEEGAN LOVES FUCKING TEASING YOU and he runs with it. "Pussy's so wet, doll.. Why's that, huh?" spits on your pussy for good measure and resumes sliding his cock over your puffy clit, "You fucking love this, I know you do,"

.⋆

simon 'ghost' riley

♡ not even gonna say anything

♡ there's nothing in this world ghost loves more than when he gets you absolutely drunk on his cock, head thrown back, thanking him repeatedly as he thrusts inside you like there's no tomorrow-as he fucks you so well. "Fuckin' cum on me again, love. I know y'want to," "Ah fuck-Pussy's gripping me so tight, jus' let go and I promise I'll give you more, yeah?"

♡ not gonna say anything again HOLY SSSHIT. THIS IS SIMON AND YOU CANT TELL ME OTHERWISE. GOODBYE FOREVER. LOGGING OUT OF LIFE

.⋆

john 'soap' mactavish

♡ john 'i want to engrave you and your body in my soul' mactavish. man just wants to worship you fr

♡ sometimes soap just wants to make you feel good, no matter how hard he is, no matter how much you tell him you don't have to- he wants to. Absolutely loves to rub your sweet cunt, making you come undone as many times as he can, and also loves how needy you get- pressing kisses all over his face, so thankful by how good he's treating you<3333

♡ y'know what- soap would definitely film smth just like this on his phone, and he'd just love watching it when he was away, groaning as he looks at your hot body on his phone, his fist not making him feel nearly as good as yours would. But he makes do, imagining that it's your hand that's holding his cock, your hand he's rutting up to as he moans, eyes rolling back. "Yeah, yeah just like that. Mmso fuckin good-baby fffuuuuck" God, he needed to see you.

.⋆

john price

♡ tears in my eyes. tears in my fucking EYYYYESSSS. Price loves nothing better than coming home after a long ass day, and just make you come over and over and over, whispering praises on your ear, his cock twitching in his briefs each time you jump and try to escape his hold, too overstimulated to form words- and this asshole just chuckles, "Stay right where you are, or I won't fuckin' stop till you're cryin' for me to put my cock inside you."

♡ price is a patient man unless he's pushed to his limits. Now, imagine he's trying to sleep after the most gut wrenching day he's had this week, and his brain just not shutting the fuck up to let him sleep. What better way to get over his insomnia than to wake you up and fuck you till he's pussy drunk? At least then he'll go to sleep thinking of you. "S' good, darling" "pussy's s' fuckin' good for me, innit?" "So good lettin' me use you like this, honey.."

♡ in the rare occassion that john fucks you doggy style, you stay down like a good pup. Or else.

.⋆

könig

♡ Even König gets mad sometimes. And yeah, he does get mad when you openly show affection to someone that isn't him. And he was this close to bash ghost's face in if you hadn't pulled him aside, clueless eyes staring up at his now cold ones. "Who's fucking you now, hm?" "Can he fuck you like this?" (he prob can but yknow) "Maybe I should invite him to watch how dumb my sweet liebling gets on my cock."

♡ yup. yup yup yup.

♡ könig will cum so fucking hard just by rubbing his cock on your pussy, head tilted to the side and brows pulled together as he pants, eyes never leaving the movement of your hand as you rub his dick back and forth on your cunt-

no thoughts head empty just cod men.

[stardust-on-the-boots]

I really hate to break it to you, but origins wasn't at all the first fantasy story was "spun around" and the opposite of "classic" tolkienesque high fantasy genre, where elves or mages were opressed, where "orcs" are intelligent etc. It all happened in fantasy long before, be it tabletops, books, comics or videogames (even other bioware games, too). Dragon age 2, however, was a very original fantasy story, it was very flawed, but also very challenging for us players. It really is sad that because of the amount of flaws it had, the game was pretty much a flop and writers didn't want to risk writing something similarly theirs anymore.

DAI was dull because they took a safe road, the villain wasn't fleshed out (god I hated what they did to one of my favourite characters of the franchise), we beat him pretty much evrytime we meet him; the ethical conflict surrounding mage rights (that was so fun and interesting to explore) and the war that was taking place are never truly explored in the game, it just ends, huh; where in DAO all companions (well, except maybe Sten and Shale, but they both are so well written and don't hold the same function as other characters, they're here for you to explore the world even more) were chess pieces in the grand scheme of things and therefore were fleshed out through motivation, and in DA2 the companions were always Hawke's equals, had their own lives, made decisions regardless of what the protagonist wants or stands for, in DAI, lots of them are just..there. Or not explored enough. Vivienne could be so much more. Dorian could be so much more (!). Sera could be so much more. Cole could be so much more. They all could make you experience the world and understand it's politics and social tendencies better. They could be there to make you disagree with them. Instead they're just sort of silent witnesses to whatever you're up to. Yeah, the approval system was there, but it never actually changed anything. It was also really easy to fix anything through dialogs. The main storyline is weak. There are elements of things that could be so engaging. Show me families seeing their dead sons and daughters coming back from the exalted plains. Show me a soldier having to kill his best friend twice. Show me what the elves living there made of all this, show me how they put it all together in their worldview, show me them being compassionate or repulsed by this war. Show me them exploring the ruins. Show me one of your party members slowly losing it because of all that red lyrium in Emprise du Lion. Make my inquisitor hear some echo of the Song. Show me what working in this mines truly was like. Put literally anything in the hissing wastes. Don't make the second half of the game exclusively a "let's learn some elven lore" adventure. Put in some goddamn deep roads! (Really I don't get why people hate them so much, it's like the best part of DAO).

I think ultimately, there was a huge tonal shift in DAI. DAO and DA2 explored things like addiction, mind control, self-actualisation, uncontrolled science, radicalisation, sexual violence, racism, sexism, cultural appropriation, forms of control, mental illness, colonialism and slavery, genocide, religion and fanaticism, all this and more sprinkled with political and economical discourse. And there was still time to add in themes of love, friendship, compassion, kindness and forgiveness. In DAI, everything is so much brighter (literally and figuratively). Everything is in the background, while the hero beats the bad guy triumphantly. Did you feel triumphant when you killed Orsino and Meredith?

I wouldn't say it's all bad or boring. There are pretty cool new things that I'd like to see in dragon age more. But it feels very different from other games of the franchise. To me, it was extremely noticeable through first hours through music. Remember Inon Zur's soundtracks? You would recognise dragon age right away. It had a distinct character and sound. DAI sounds pretty, beautiful sometimes, but so...generic. Nothing like dragon age.

So I’ve probably said this before, but I’ll say it again.

The reason Dragon Age Inquisition feels so much like a misfire is because it missed a lot of the point of the previous games in the series. Where Inquisition was a story about a Chosen One figure being the only one who can fight and stop this threat, the kind of story we’ve seen repeatedly and constantly in the fantasy genre, Dragon Age Origins and especially Dragon Age 2 were designed to deconstruct the familiar tropes of the genre.

I mean, Dragon Age 2 is pretty much explicit in that fact. The point and purpose of the ‘Varric as narrator’ device is that Cassandra has heard the tale of the Champion of Kirkwall and now wants to know the truth, wants to know about the person behind that myth. What she ends up getting is a tale of an ordinary person dragged into situations beyond their control and, by virtue of a little luck and some faithful companions, ends up being the one still standing at the end of it. Hawke is no Chosen One. S/he’s just a person who was in the wrong place at the right time and got to be remembered as a hero.

And even the Warden has this trait - the Warden, by virtue of the origins mechanic, could not be ‘the Chosen One’ either. We get plenty of information on the other origins that indicate that, regardless of whether we chose to play as that character, those origins still occurred. Howe still invades Highever and kills much of the Cousland family. Endrin’s middle child is blamed for the death of his eldest and sentenced to the Deep Roads. Brosca entered the Provings and ends up dying in Jarvia’s prison cells. All the origins happen, it’s just your decision tells Duncan where to go to recruit.

Origins itself was meant to deconstruct a lot of the standard tropes in fantasy. Here, the elves were beaten and down-trodden, long past the days of their ancient, glorious empire, where any arrogance on their part was purely meant as the only way they really can fight back with humanity - ‘we may have little, but we will take pride in that little.’ Mages are not the wise and respected advisors to some noble, but instead are locked up and shackled in a tower because the abilities they have are dangerous and deadly if they’re allowed to run free. The dwarves, often considered ‘as constant as the stone’ are a stagnant and dying culture, and the one dwarf we ever really meet who embodies the stereotypes is Oghren, who is a pariah among his fellow dwarves. Hell, in many ways, the qunari are orc-analogs, and instead of being the simple bruisers whose first instinct is to crush and smash and destroy, they’re highly intelligent, to the point that they have technology far beyond what the humans have.

Dragon Age started as a deconstruction and even examination of old fantasy tropes. On a personal note, that’s what made the series so interesting to me - instead of just taking a Tolkien-style world at face value, Dragon Age took those tropes and turned them on their head. In some ways, it was asking the genre to evolve, because as influential as Tolkien has been, we’re at a point where the fantasy genre isn’t really moving outside of these narrowly defined categories of what fantasy has been. And fantasy that doesn’t imagine moving beyond that? That’s a waste of the genre and ideas.

But Inquisition… Inquisition wants to play those Tolkien style tropes far straighter than they’ve been in the past. And it doesn’t reconstruct them first. It just acts like that classic interpretation of things has been in play since the beginning, even though it hasn’t, and, in multiple cases, actively set out to go against them.

Dragon Age began with a lot of deconstruction of the fantasy genre, in some ways asking ‘is fantasy going to stay where it is or grow and evolve?’ And if Inquisition is an indication, the answer is apparently ‘stay where it is.’ Which if you ask me, that’s a damn shame, because there’s a lot that can be done with fantasy, if someone would just take the chance. I hope future games will.