#feel free to yell at me if you think i'm not

[lenievi]

also, I changed my mind. I like that SNW is characters and relationships focused. After all, it’s not like that isn’t what I’m most interested in anyway.

[gallawitchxx]

hi gallabitches (fond),

i am feeling very sappy as kinktober is halfway over & i continue to sit it out this year due to health & work-load & brain blips. so i just wanted to name an emotional experience i'm having because maybe you're having it too?

things are changing around here. things have changed. interests, time, desires, energy levels, schedules, lives have changed. the bubble that was 2020-2022? 23? has burst for real. people have moved on. that is ok. this is ok. this is life. (woof!) but it's that last one that's been getting to me lately -- the people.

this fandom is so special & there's something really loving about the people that are drawn to this space. my god, the talented, warm, big-hearted, nurturing, genius, creative, expansive, vulnerable, perfectly made people that find their way here!! & all because we happen to love these two fucked-up, growing, frustrating, devoted, horny, idiot felons and soulmates so deeply we want to fucking scream about it on tumblr dot com. my best friends are here.

so yes, what's happened/is happening is sad. i am Sad about it! & also the people keep coming! there's been this new wave of incredible, talented, lovely people who have showed up to take the unhinged baton & do their own lap around the windy city. that is the cycle! it's delightful! my sweet fresh danny devitos, i love your work!! & the best news is i/you/we don't have to fucking go anywhere at all! we can write & make & scream & lose our goddamn minds over these fools for a lifetime. i'm certainly not done. just switching up the pace.

but if you're someone who's moved on or is moving on, go, go, go & may you let love lead you to your next soft place to land. thank you for being such a huge part of my life for the past few years. what we all created together is nothing short of a miracle. thank you. i love you. thank you. ALSO SHOW BACK UP ON MY DASH AT ANYTIME. STAY IN TOUCH. TELL ME YOU ARE SAFE. I AM WORRIED ABOUT YO--

i love this place. thank you to the pals who are feeding us so good this kinktober. community makes me emotional!!!!!!

bee xx

[butterflieswhisper]

looping echidna beastlife gif from trying to figure out toonboom

[memento-morri-writes]

This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.

Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.” 

(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)

[shippingmyworld]

Hi there! I am usually hella shy on the interwebs, but I just wanted to let you know how much I love your tigerghost fics and how they've been a great source of joy for me recently. I've re-read all 3 roughly 6 times over (it will be more) and I'm very much looking forward to your future works!

hold up, need to cry in a corner really quick cus i'm emotional and don't know how to respond to positive validation from strangers

HI THERE AND THANKS. You don't know how much it means to me whenever I hear someone say they've reread one of my fics because they LIKE them, so to hear you've reread all 3 of them 6 whole times leaves me flabbergasted. Especially since I wrote them all as a form of self-indulgence in the first place and never expected other people to actually enjoy them like I do.

I haven't had a whole lot of time to actually sit down and write anything beyond basic outlines lately, but I do have lots of other tigerghost shenanigans planned. I hope that I can post more stuff soon, because it's honestly become a comfort ship for me and I want to write more about them plus i get physically sick when i don't think about them at least once a day lol.

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Unfortunately I am physically incapable of seeing something and not relating it back to my current hyperfixation so if you are so inclined: who are the Super Six as Pokemon? Like either who is their main or what Pokemon best represents them?

I love this so so so much thank you!!

I'm going with who their partners are.

Alex- Ludicolo

A lotad wonders up to a young acd one year at the lake and follows him around. He bonds with this lotad, feeds it, plays with it, dances with it. he begs and begs ellen and oscar to let him keep this little lotad and they eventually agree. His lotad eventually evolves into the final stage ludicolo.

Henry- Gardevior

Ralts are said to appear in front of cheerful people, one day when Henry is out with Arthur a ralts appears to them, Arthur encourages a suddenly very shy Henry to reach out to this ralts, who then teleports away and reappears right behind henry tugging on his pant leg. they're instant pals. This ralts eventually evolves into a gardevior after arthur's passing and tries and tries to cheer up henry gardeviors are very sensitive to their trainer's emotions and work to protect them.

Pez- Frufrou

Frufrous historically are royal guardians, he already had his frufrou when he met henry, it's just destiny. Frufrous also have out of this world style, and Pez is ALWAYS changing up Frufrou's look.

June- Ampharos

Similar to Alex, a mareep wonders up to June one day and bonds to her. This Mareep eventually evolves into ampharos, the light pokemon. Amphros are often becons for travelers, even if june travels far from her family her ampharos can always lead the way back home.

Nora- Porygon-Z

Nora saw something weird reviewing data one day and found a porygon hiding itself in her data. She coaxed it out and showed it kindness, it hasn't left her side since then, eventually evolving into a porygon-z

Bea- Florges

a Flabebe starts playing tricks on a young princess bea in the palace gardens. pulling her hair, poking her shoulder, making it rain flower petals. Bea enjoys this and eventually catches the flabebe and befriends it. her flabebe eventually evolves into florges who now protects the gardens when it's not protecting bea.

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[nonokoko13]

Friendly reminder that being queer/LGBT ally/jewish/pro-semitism isn't, can't and shouldn't be used to justify and support ethnic cleansing, colonization and genocide. If you do think so then I don't want you to talk to me ever again 👉🚪

[yanlei-a]

my toxic trait is i read everything y'all write and i eat it up and i love your ships like even though i probably wouldn't care about them if not for y'all writing i'd read your yelling about them gladly and i'd read 10 page essays about them but then whenever i have brainrot about my own ships i just think i'll be annoying yelling about them 💁‍♂️

[trashlie]

My Year in Review (Webtoons)

Idk if Webtoon is going to give us a year in review this year or not, but I’m making my own! I don’t talk nearly enough about the other webtoons I’ve read/been reading, so I’m going to use this as an opportunity to at least name them all and talk about why I enjoy them. Who knows - maybe some of my followers/mutuals are also reading what I am and want to gush! 

Frankly, I cannot really rank things because I’m wishy washy and terrible at listing favorites, so this will be in no particular order. Read what I have to say about it, rather than where I ranked it, haha. 

I attempted to limit the number of webtoons I fastpassed on but... uh. I wasn’t good at it. Sometimes I just did it all in one go, sometimes it’s a steady, every single week deal. These such webtoons are denoted with an F. I’m not gonna say me fast passing means it’s a favorite, because sometimes I end up fast passing because I just REALLY want to see what happens next, so... don’t assume it means it’s the best of the best lol. 

Sometimes I get SO into a webtoon that when I hit all of what I can read in English, I’ll go look it up in Korean and try to read THAT lol. I’m not totally good at it yet but it serves as really good Korean practice so I’ll keep it up. These such webtoons are denoted with a K.

Let’s dive in!

I Love Yoo (F) Drama

I’m putting this first because that’s what a lot of people follow me for, and that’s where it deserves. I haven’t dedicated this much time and energy to many fandoms in the last 5 years, and ILY just reigns supreme there. Honestly, it’s exactly what I want out of a character-driven story that explores the complexities of our experiences. I understand why people want more out of it or aren’t fans of the slower pace, but that’s them, not me, and I LOVE it. Without fail, I fast pass this one so I can barf out all my thoughts on reddit and then yell some more over here. I love grey characters, I love complex characters, I love sad characters. Everyone does it for me, I stay winning! 

How to Become a Dragon (F) (K) Fantasy

Lol I say I try to read this one in Korean but lol this one is WAY  out of my league. Eon is a creator I already ADORED from Super Secret, so when HTBaD dropped, I was so excited. I’ve been reading it ever since and it’s been a steady Fast Pass for me. Bari is just... absolutely endearing and the whole of the story is fantastic. There’s a lot of hurt in the past to uncover, a lot of character development to witness, and so much fantastic lore. Admittedly the translations can sometimes be a little difficult, but that hasn’t been a very common occurrence. I say I don’t play favorites but if I did, this would be up there. Genre-wise it’s very much a fantasy, very light on the romance. PLEASE I beg of you guys, go read this and fall for Bari’s adorable Imoogi form! 

Seasons of Blossom (F) (K) Drama, Romance

You wanna know how much I absolutely love this one? I bough physical, Korean copies! Seasons of Blossom is separated into four stories (one for each season, beginning with spring) that all weave together through the characters involved. Spring is sweet and innocent and subverts a few tropes in a fun way. Summer is oppressive and overbearing and I sobbed so much. Full disclosure, summer follows two characters still dealing with the suicide of someone five years prior. Fall is, ironically, a time for starting over, for turning a new leaf, as a character who was bullied in her youth tries to get revenge. I haven’t started winter yet... I’m bad at endings and I’m sad that this will soon be over and I’ll probably binge and catch up on it really soon lol. I genuinely, ardently love this one SO much. Please! It’s beautiful, it’s wonderful, my heart ACHES so much. It’s perfect! 

Romance 101 (F) Romance

The only reason I haven’t read Romance 101 in Korean is because it’s complete and I need to pay to do that and I still haven’t figured out if there’s a way I can actually pay for it lol. It’s one I’ve been considering buying in Korean, though, so... yknow. Romance 101 is SO well done, and I’m obsessed with the art. All of the main characters are so wonderful and endearing, and Bareum makes a delightful main character, a university student who has never made room in her life for love and is thus sorely inexperienced and also sits on the cusp of true adulthood. There’s a love triangle that will tug at your heart, and so many WONDERFUL demonstrations of friendship! That’s something I appreciate a lot - a romance that isn’t about just the romance and acknowledges the importance of platonic love as well. 

See You in my 19th Life (F) (K) Drama, Romance [completed]

I can understand why people have been put off by the “age gap” in this story - when you’re a person who has remembered every single life you’ve lived, you are mature beyond anyone you’ll ever meet. But despite that, I was really, really sucked into this one and absolutely read ahead in the Korean version lol. There’s just something about Jieum that I love so much, and the way the story connects everyone, but most importantly, how much Seoha means to her. There’s also some fantastic family relationships, and character growth that’s fun to watch. Idk I love this one and I felt SO sad when it ended! The spin off stories were sweet additions, though! Everything tied up so nicely I’m not so much left wanting more as much as just knowing I will miss this ensemble cast for months to come. 

Act Like You Love Me (F) Romance 

God, this is one hell of a love song to tropes and cliches, and I say that in a really positive way and mean it! The writing absolutely knows it’s making use of many tropes and is just haven’t unabashed fun being what it is. There’s boss/employee, cohabitation, bouts of fake dating, a love triangle, a touch of fantasy ? Idk this one is so fun to me and I remember feeling really bummed when it had a short hiatus lol. I’m not currently fast passing but I know I will when I’m ready to binge. Like, look the premise is just SO fun - possessing a plushie you can use to make a famous actor do anything you want? Famous actor and normal person falling for each other? It’s just GOOD FUN! 

Odd Girl Out (F) Drama, Romance 

This is another one that I fast-pass off and on. Full disclosure, I much preferred the first season of this story to the current one, but mostly because the first had so much wonderful friendships between the girls. The second season has a lot more focus on Nari’s romances and love triangle and I just don’t currently feel compelled to fast pass but we’ll see when it changes. Don’t get me wrong, I love good romances, but I ALSO am a sucker for wonderful girl friendships. Regardless, it’s a cute coming of age story and the plucky lead is neither meek nor dull, and the running theme of people being drawn to her for the colorful, wonderful person she is continues throughout! 

Our Secret Alliance (F) (K) Romance 

God, this is my catnip. Childhood friends to almost strangers to lovers? Fake dating? Really cute art? Man this is IT! Is the story terribly deep? No. Are the characters wildly complex? Also no. But sometimes I just want to enjoy a sweet, saccharine story filled with really pretty art, and this scratches that exact itch. It feels like it’s coming to an end and I find myself more sad that I expected to be about it. It’s just so endearingly cute to me and I’m gong to miss it when it’s completed! 

She’s Hopeless (F) (K) Drama, Romance 

From the creator of Orange Marmalade comes this story about a high schooler hired to be a chaebol heiress’s secret bodyguard. The catch? Said heiress has a nasty, nasty temper, and it’s his job to try to get her to get along with her classmates and shed her prickly exterior. This is one that I read off and on, catch up on and binge when the mood strikes. I do enjoy me a terrible female character sometimes when her motives are good and her personality is complex and this one does it SO well. It has a nice touch of enemies to lovers lite and some forbidden romance for those who dig that lol. 

Wished You Were Dead (F) (K) Drama, Romance

Man a lot of people dislike this or find it too drawn out but idk I don’t share that sentiment with them. I guess it depends on your patience and what you enjoy lol. Arranged marriage where Emperor Karloi is betrothed to the daughter of his enemy and his Empress wife, Evonne, is actually the child who saved his life many years ago. But she can’t tell him that, because she’s forced to live a lie to keep her mother safe, and a magic spell prohibits her from even attempting to reveal her identity. As you can imagine, it’s created incredibly frustrating situations where poor Evonne, who is really Rue, endures hardship after hardship, while Karloi is unaware that the person who he is so cruel to is the person who sought out his whole life. HEAVY enemies to lovers, like I mean HEAVY. A lot of people are frustrated that Karloi hasn’t figured out Evonne’s identity despite him having nothing but a nagging sense that she reminds him of Rue. It’s one hell of a slow burn and I, for one, enjoy it (though honestly I’m like is this even gonna HAVE a happy ending or is this man gonna die miserable....) 

Rewriting the Villainess (F) (K) Drama, Romance 

I know isekai is really overdone but I never read them lol so this is fresh yet to me. Liza has returned from war only to find her one true love, her fiance, Illian has fallen for the princess of the very kingdom she went to war against. Hearbroken and anguished, she drowns her sorrows in alcohol only to wake up in the modern world, where she finds not only is she a character in an incomplete story written by Doeun, but she now occupies Doeun’s body. And even worse, she finds out she was not the protagonist of the story but, in fact, the villain. Angered by the way the writer planned to complete the story, she intends to ruin the author’s life as she lives it, until the day they can switch back to their respective places but... well, that doesn’t go according to plan. Honestly this one is SO fun and there’s a lot of mystery to unravel about Doeun and how they ended up in this place at all. There’s also some incredibly WONDERFUL exploration in different kinds of loves, and how familial love vs friendship love vs romantic love all differ from each other, which is something I’ve GREATLY enjoyed. The relationship between Liza and Illian is not a very healthy one, which is something she needs to learn for herself, and boy is she loving. It’s DELIGHTFUL, I’m having so much fun with this one! I tried not to fast pass it so I could save my coins but I couldn’t help myself ;~; 

Daytime Star 

Remember my love for saccharine little romances? This one fits the bill! It’s sweet and pretty and not terribly complex but I still find myself having fun and enjoying the story. The art is SOOOO pretty like WOW so pretty! There’s a part of me that wants to fast pass because I do enjoy it but I’m saving it for now! Besides the romance side of things, it’s just really fun watching Yura, a struggling actress, finally get noticed and start to make a name of herself in the acting world, and ngl that’s probably the thing that keeps this from being a story that fades into the nether. I don’t say that in a bad way, either! 

Beyond Virtual Drama Romance [Hiatus]

Full disclosure, this one has been on hiatus for most of the year and I DON’T KNOW WHEN IT’S COMING BACK. There’s not even a Korean version of this?! Even though it’s DEFINITELY a Korean webtoon?! PLEASE I need my fix! I really, really dig this one and I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I wound up! It takes place in a near distant future where the world has fallen into further ruin due to climate change and pollution, where people turned to VR to escape the misery of the real world. In VR they can see flowers where there are none, blue skies, animals that have gone extinct, and live the lavish lives they will never have in reality. They can also participate in events with virtual reality idols, who can beat out any human any day. Sora is one such high schooler who is content to live out her fantasies in VR and go on dates with her idol bias. Her best friend, though, has other ideas, and rejects the world of VR. He’d rather be a real human, in the real world. There’s actually lol a LOT of parallels in Beyond Virtual and I really love the story being woven, and the war against VR, the fight to turn to the real world and appreciate what is tangible and real. Okay, I ALSO enjoy the friends to lovers, so sue me! 

Operation True Love (F) (K) Romance, Drama

Listen. I started this like, last Friday. lmao I JUST started it and I’ve devoured it completely, which isn’t a surprise, but I’m also fast passing it AND have started to read it in Korean AND I’m already feeling itchy for more lol. Suae knows her boyfriend is scum, but she can’t help that she’s still into him. But everything in her life goes sideways when a pink Jellypop phone appears in her locker. It’s not just any phone - it can show the amount of love that anyone will receive in life as well as how much life they’ve already received. And Suae? She’s 0/0. She’s got to convince the creator that she’s not a bug in the system and that she can defy the rules and change her 0 into a 1. And look, if she has to do it by using her scummy boyfriend’s best friend, then so be it. After all, she’s already found out there’s a lot more going on with him and her adopted sister than she thought. AND LISTEN I LOVE IT. I love it SO much. The art is so good, it reminds me a little of I Love Yoo but also maybe a touch of Daytime Star? Suae is WONDERFUL and I absolutely LOVE her antics with Eunhyeok. Raim makes for a really complex, if not awful lol, antagonist and I’m really looking forward to seeing how things play out. Look I’m all caught up with this thing and the Korean version is only one!!!! episode ahead of the English FP what the heck am I to do?! (I translated it. lmao this is my Korean practice now, translating the Korean episode.) 

When the Day Comes Drama Romance [Complete]

The creator, OMOYO, is up there with eon in that when I first started using webtoon, I binged their webtoons. The Story of Those Around Us was fantastic and I really enjoyed OMOYO’s art a lot, so when I finally got started on When the Day Comes, I knew I would be utterly charmed. And I absolutely was! OMOYO has a wonderful kind of humor and even more importantly, presents stories in a really candid way. Ngl this one really tugged at my heart in MANY ways - like I found myself having a sweet little mournful cry one night lol. It’s just. Idk delightful, really well done. I look forward to whatever OMOYO works on next! 

Rumor Has It Romance Drama [Complete]

I don’t really like daily pass webtoons because I’m bad at keeping up with them. I can’t even remember how I started reading THIS one. Boredom and need to read something, probably? It’s very up there in saccharine, sweet little stories, and follows two exes who end up as neighbors as they enter college. It’s a really fluffy story, not incredibly deep, and is a generally fun read! 

No Longer a Heroine Drama Romance [Complete]

I don’t use the term guilty pleasure, but I guess if I did, this would probably be considered one. In some ways, this story is really makjang - it just goes OUT there and there are things in it that genuinely made me go “oh shit I didn’t see that coming”! It’s also very much up there with complex, unlikable female leads. I know the art isn’t very pretty, but if this was a drama, people would eat it up solely FOR the drama. I can’t say a lot without spoiling it but I genuinely like where they went with the romance, I didn’t expect it but it was exactly what I’d hoped for! 

Back to You Drama Romance [Complete] 

Full disclosure, this is now a daily pass and I have not finished this one lol. I can’t say why exactly - I guess I kind had a feeling of where the story is going? I think maybe I could have enjoyed it more WITHOUT the romance, actually? That’s the element I wasn’t here for. The idea of going back in time to change the past, to save a person you deeply cared about? Love that. The idea of messing with time and being messed up back? SO good. The irresistible urge to create big ripples and alter the entire timeline? YESSSSS. But meh @ all the romance that happened, I guess? lol Now that it’s a daily pass idk if I’ll ever finish it? I peeked at the ending when it completed, though! I think if this were a drama, I’d probably have quit it, too, because there were some things that were just too frustrating for me to deal with lol. But it may be someone else’s cup of tea! 

The Star Seekers

LMAO look I don’t expect most of my followers to read or take interest in it but as a fan of TXT lmaooo I am. It’s cute, it’s fun, I like fast passing it, Viken is an ADORABLE rendition of Beomgyu, I’m really into the Star Seekers universe and was hoping this would give me insight to the MV storylines. IT DOESN’T! But I’m still having fun lmaoooooooo 

Special shout out to Super Secret, which is now a daily pass, that I reread again because I will never tire of it. It’s so fluffy and sweet and I just love it. I also have already reread Beyond Virtual because it’s been SO LONG SINCE IT UPDATED PLEASE BRING IT BACK 

Everything else that follows is stuff I have begun but maybe haven’t gone back to or just go back every so often to catch up on! 

Honey Lemon My Reason to Die Maybe Meant to Be  Sunny and Rainy Our House Our Time Vampire Husband Unfamiliar Our Beloved Summer Your Letter  Heavenly Eats Your Smile is a Trap Seven Years Later Exchange Student Spring Once Again

And here are things I started and dropped!

To You Who Swallowed a Star (I cannot overstate how MUCH I could NOT stand this afljkafjkajkfkjafjkafkaljajkf) A Summer Night’s Dream  To Love Your Enemy I guess Back to You? Superstar Associate Manager There’s Love Hidden in Lies What if Feels to Date You Loaf App To Love and Be Loved

One day I will properly start Purple Hyacinth and maybe I’ll get into my TBR list (and probably drop some lol) 

[sennottrachel]

aite it's been too long so coming in with a reverse starter call and/or regular starter call. i'll either look through your opens and reply to stuff there OR if you have a muse of mine you're interested in, i'll do a closed starter for you. please im me/leave a comment if you're interested or like this and i'll come to you!

[lettersiarrange]

Since I just checked my ask box for the first time in a hot minute:

Just a note that tumblr doesn't tell me when I have new asks or messages and I rarely check my notifications. Helpful corrections of misinformation/any messages in good faith are appreciated (though it's possible I won't see them until weeks later, sorry), but if something I reblog angers you enough you feel the need to get hostile in my askbox on anon, I reccomend the unfollow button.

I'm also not comfortable posting asks asking for any sort of donations/directing people to your blog for donation purposes, sorry :// I just don't have time to vet asks like that

[fazcinatingblog]

Who will get there first: Pendles reaching 10,000 disposals or Todd Michael Goldstein reaching 10,000 hitouts

[floweryfandomnerd]

.

[cluescorner]

Thanks so much for the recap because like...I have been actively keeping up with this bullshit (/pos AND /neg) and I literally forgot about Tim getting shot in the neck then fucking walking it off.

What the heck is going on in Batman/Gotham War?

I know a lot of people in fandom are confused and/or upset about what's been going on in Gotham War - why is Bruce acting like this, what is Selina doing, why are the Batkids taking sides. So I figured I would fill you all in on what's been happening in Batman and Catwoman since Chip Zdarsky took over with Batman #125, because it has been BONKERS and I have been enjoying the hell out of it.

Below, the quickest summary I can manage while still being comprehensive:

[Content warning: mental illness, abuse, suicide (...ish), LOTS of violence.]

The first arc, "Failsafe," starts with Batman and Robin (Tim, in this case) in pursuit of the Penguin, who is on a killing spree. In the very first issue, Tim gets shot in the neck. Bruce has to take him to the hospital, but first he has to strip him out of his costume and put him in civilian clothes to preserve their secret identities, triggering memories of when he had to do the same to Jason's dead body. There is LITERALLY NO PURPOSE TO ANY OF THIS EXCEPT WHUMP (Tim is back in action with a fucking BAND-AID on his neck very quickly), which is how I knew this was going to be good. Beat Tim up! Make Bruce cry about Jason! I want these men to suffer! (There is also SO much to be said about Tim's own Poor Mental Health Decisions throughout the entirety of Zdarsky's run so far, but that's for a separate meta post.)

Anyway. Bruce leaves Tim in the hospital and goes to confront Penguin, who turns out to be dying of mercury poisoning. He kills himself and makes it look like Batman did it, forcing Bruce to flee. (Penguin actually faked his death and is alive elsewhere under an alias, but that's not important right now.)

In the Batcave, a massive robot called Failsafe emerges. Failsafe attacks Bruce, who usually eats killer robots for breakfast, but he can't seem to get the upper hand on this one. Duke, Cass, Steph, and Dick show up to help, but Failsafe beats them all too, while Tim gets an injured Bruce away and to the Batcave.

In the Batcave, Bruce puts on a weird purple and red Batman costume and a new personality takes over: the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh. Now, Zur has a very complicated history going back to 1958, but for the purposes of this story, all you need to know is that when he was younger, Bruce decided it would be good to hang out in a sensory deprivation chamber until his mind created a secondary personality, Zur, who is essentially Batman without Bruce. Zur is pure efficiency who does not care about anything but the mission. He created Failsafe, for one purpose: to kill Bruce if Bruce ever crossed the line and killed someone. And right now, Failsafe believes that Bruce killed Penguin.

Failsafe nearly kills Tim, which Zur is okay with writing off as an expendable soldier's death, but this causes Bruce to take control of the body back because "Tim isn't my soldier...HE'S MY SON!" (Tim Nation, why are you not ALL OVER this story? It's catnip.)

Babs calls in the JLA (SuperBat fans, you will also want to read Bruce's adoring description of Clark when he shows up), but of course Failsafe has kryptonite, which it stabs Clark with. The League dumps Clark and Bruce into the JLA jet and distracts Failsafe while Tim flies Clark and Bruce to the Fortress of Solitude. Bruce tells Tim he's a good boy and jumps out of the jet and into the ocean so that Tim and Clark will be safe from Failsafe. He's rescued by Arthur, who takes him to Atlantis to heal. THIS HAS ALL ONLY BEEN FOUR ISSUES SO FAR.

Two weeks later, Bruce wakes up to discover that Failsafe has taken over Gotham. He teleports up to the JLA Watchtower on the moon to lure Failsafe there, then blows the Watchtower up, hoping to catch a ride on one of the Javelins. But Failsafe has already destroyed them, so Bruce RIDES A BOOSTER ROCKET BACK TO EARTH, OXYGEN MASK CLAPPED OVER HIS FACE. The whole thing has some powerful Scooty-Puff Jr energy.

The only tricky part is reentry, when Bruce starts to burn up - his costume is fireproof, of course, but his chin is exposed. SO HE TAKES OFF HIS LITTLE BAT-PANTIES AND PUTS THEM OVER HIS HEAD. I swear to god this happened in a real comic book and the entire "Bruce falls off the moon and survives" sequence is utterly delectable goofy nonsense and I truly cannot recall a time I've had more fun reading a comic book.

Anyway, Bruce lands directly outside of the Fortress, BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES, and runs inside to find Clark and Tim. While Clark keeps Failsafe distracted, Bruce and Tim program nanobots to inject compassion into Failsafe. I SWEAR TO GOD. They zap him with the nanobots, but Failsafe pulls a high tech space gun out of the Fortress and shoots Bruce with it anyway, apparently disintegrating him. Tim falls to his knees in the snow, weeping. TIM NATION, WAKE UP, THIS RUN IS CANDY FOR YOU.

But of course Bruce isn't dead! That wasn't a killing gun, it was a "zap you into another dimension" gun!!! THAT was the compassion!

So Bruce finds himself in a dystopian alternate Gotham, and I'll be honest, I didn't love this arc ("The Bat-Man of Gotham") as much as I loved "Failsafe," but it has its moments. In this Gotham, Bruce Wayne is dead, so Regular Bruce is like "Oh boy, time to Batman this place up." Also he's plagued by hallucinations of a skeleton version of Jim Gordon who is still wearing a trench coat AND A MUSTACHE. Like I said, it has its moments.

This Gotham is controlled by Arkham, and anyone who is diagnosed as "crazy" is locked up. A new villain, Red Mask, is in charge, and Selina and a Venomed-up Harvey Dent work for him. Bruce teams up with an orphan kid (of course) named Jewel and goes after Red Mask, who turns out to be some guy named Darwin Halliday and ALSO...the Joker. Well, he's the Joker who hasn't been Jokerized yet. But one time he breathed in some chemicals that let him see into the main reality of the DCU (???) and glimpsed Regular Joker and now he wants to build an interdimensional machine to mentally connect with Regular Joker across universes which he assumes will make him insane, NATURALLY.

Bruce attacks Red Mask, who sics a Venomed-up Ghost Maker on him. Ghost Maker cuts off Bruce's right hand. Bruce cauterizes it with an electroshock machine and ties some spikes on it (SERIOUSLY) and goes after Red Mask again. Meanwhile Red Mask mentally connects with an alternate dimensional Joker...but instead of it driving Red Mask insane, he's what drives the Joker insane. Desperate to become the Joker somehow, anyhow, he jumps into the interdimensional portal, and Morally Dubious Alternate Universe Selina kicks Bruce in after him.

Meanwhile, Tim is in full "I KNOW I SAW HIM DIE BUT HE'S NOT DEAD" mode, which: bless. So he teams up with Jon Kent, which...gosh, what an astonishingly boring duo. I love Jon, I love Tim, they're perfectly nice and normal around each other, I'm falling asleep. Anyway Tim fights Toyman for a while and then makes a VERY stupid costume where the entire torso is a giant light-up R, because "I want him to see that Robin is coming to save him." GET A THERAPY, TIM.

Bruce finds himself first in the Michael Keaton Batman universe, then the Red Rain universe, BTAS, Batman Beyond (yes I know they're the same universe but I guess he goes there twice), Silver Age, Kingdom Come, Gotham by Gaslight, and more. Adam West gives him a utility belt. The Dark Knight Returns Bruce builds him a robot hand.

Finally Bruce and Red Mask reach the end of the multiverse, which is a Gotham asteroid floating in space, surrounded by giant Jokerized sharks. LUCKILY BRUCE HAS BAT-SHARK REPELLANT IN HIS ADAM WEST UTILITY BELT!!! Honestly this whole arc was worth it for that moment.

Bruce knocks Red Mask out, but now he's stuck. He has a device from Batman Beyond Bruce to get home, but it's only good for one person, and he can't leave Red Mask there to die. Of course, that's when Tim shows up in his stupid giant glowing R costume and they hug it out, thereby fulfilling but also compounding all of Tim's issues since 1989.

Anyway things are fine now, right? Sure, Bruce is hallucinating that his family is on fire, and the Zur personality is not going neatly back into the box where it's been all these years, and he still has a robot hand (Damian, hilariously, immediately announces that he wants one too), but he's FINE. He is a little bit mad at Selina, because she broke out of jail (she was in jail because she killed her fuckbuddy because he was trying to kill Bruce), and also because she didn't tell him Penguin was alive and that would have stopped Failsafe, and also because Other Selina kicked into another universe. Selina, very fairly, is like "Well I'm not responsible for Other Selinas and also maybe don't build robots to kill yourself with and not tell anyone about them???"

THEN we got Knight Terrors, the summer event in which a villain called Nightmare caused everyone to fall asleep and, uh, have nightmares. Bruce, specifically, had a nightmare that he met an eight-year-old version of himself that vomited up a man-sized bat with a gun for a head. I laughed SO HARD. Bruce also had his body borrowed by Deadman for the duration of the event, so while he endured the psychological toll of nightmares like everyone else, he also endured the physical toll of everything Deadman was doing PLUS the mental toll of being aware of what was happening in the waking world even though he couldn't control his body. As soon as the event was over, he lapsed into a coma so that his body could get some damn rest.

Okay. Now we're up to Gotham War.

(I know, I know. But for all of you who are like "How could Bruce do this???" about Gotham War...*points up* THAT'S HOW. HE IS NOT WELL.)

Bruce awakens from his coma and IMMEDIATELY decides to Fight A Crime even though Babs is like "Maybe don't?" But he can't find any crime, which is...weird. His kids confirm that Gotham's been super quiet since he's been out.

Selina hears that Bruce is awake and is like okay, time to pay the piper. She calls all of the Bats to a meeting and explains that she's the reason crime has been down. See, villains like Joker and Two-Face always have goons, right? But what if the goon supply dried up because the goons have better jobs? So Selina has trained All The Goons In Gotham to be...cat burglars. No violence, no stealing from anyone who can't afford it. More importantly, no helping Scarecrow or whoever commit mass murder.

All of the Batkids are like "Hmm...I feel uncertain about this, but it's working...I don't know what to think..." except for Jason, who thinks it's hilarious and is instantly Team Selina, and Damian, who is staunchly Team Bruce. Bruce, meanwhile, is like "No! NO! THIS IS CRIMES, AND CRIMES IS BAD!" and Selina's like "I mean, robbing from the rich is basically a victimless crime" and Bruce screams, I swear to god, "MY PARENTS WERE 'RICH'!" Inexplicable scare quotes and all. I laughed so hard.

Anyway this is the basis for Gotham War and it is endlessly hilarious to me because everyone in the Batfamily is supposed to be a genius and yet not one single character has pointed out that:

There are jobs the goons could be doing that AREN'T illegal. It's not just violent crime vs. nonviolent crime. There are in fact many other jobs! I am POSITIVE Gotham needs construction workers and hospital orderlies. (Yes, I know it's hard for people with records to get jobs. That isn't addressed.)

Being Batman is SUPER ILLEGAL.

They are all so stupid.

Selina's plan doesn't even work, because one of her thieves gets killed by a rich person defending their home, and Bruce is like "See? This is why crime is bad!" and like...pretty much snaps. He's particularly fixated on Jason, even (rhetorically) threatening to kill him, which is when the other kids jump into the fray on Jason's side, all except for Damian, who like I said is firmly Team Bruce. (This makes complete sense to me, Damian has been dealing with severe trauma and isolation pretty much nonstop since 2018 and he and Bruce have finally made a tenuous peace, so I can understand why he wouldn't want to lose that.)

Also, Vandal Savage buys Wayne Manor. It's so random and SO funny.

OKAY BATMAN #138. Bruce has kidnapped Jason and injected him with a variation on fear toxin which will be triggered whenever Jason's adrenaline spikes, the idea being that Jason is no longer capable of killing - but in practice, Jason is no longer capable of even getting up off the floor, he's so terrified. I want to be really, really clear here: Bruce is like 90% Zur here, and the only reason he goes this route and doesn't kill Jason is because the remaining 10% that's still Bruce loves Jason and is trying to help him. He's just incapable of good or humane help because Zur literally can't do feelings.

Dick knows something is up and is sneaking around Bruce's Secret Other House We've Never Heard Of to figure out what it is. Damian attacks him to protect Bruce. Tim attacks Damian so that Dick can do what he needs to do, and handcuffs Damian to a parking meter:

THERE IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE!!! TIM GO TO THERAPY! DAMIAN GO TO THERAPY! EVERYONE GO TO THERAPY!!!!!

Dick figures out what Bruce did to Jason (it's on the computer, for...some reason?) and absolutely loses his shit on Bruce, beating the crap out of him, which tbh is the only thing that felt off to me in this run because frankly I don't think Dick likes Jason that much. BUT WHATEVER.

Tim pulls Dick off of Bruce. Bruce leaves them both tangled in a net and flees as the cops approach. Zur's like "Good, fuck 'em" in Bruce's head, because the cops will expose Dick, Tim, and Damian's secret identities and Bruce will be free of the dead weight of a family, but the little bit of Bruce still in there throws Dick a batarang so he can free them all in time.

Then Bruce leaves. Damian is devastated.

I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS PAGE. Damian really thought he could have Bruce's love and loyalty if he turned on everyone else! Tim is going to be a therapy dog to a Wayne even if he has to settle for the one he doesn't like! That unresisting, blank hug made me SCREAM when I turned the page. Incredible. (Also the art fucking S L A P S, god bless you Jorge Jimenez.)

ALSO it turns out that Selina's second in command has been Vandal Savage's daughter Scandal Savage the whole time and they are turning Selina's cat burglar army into their own personal army WHOOPS. (This also feels very OOC for Scandal but at this point I trust Zdarsky with my life so let's see where things go.)

SO THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON IN GOTHAM WAR. TL;DR:

Bruce is unhinged because he nearly died like 19 times in a week and it unlocked the smaller, meaner purple Batman that lives inside him.

Selina is unaware that you can get money legally.

Tim is going to have a nervous breakdown if he can't fix someone, ANYONE.

Damian needs a hug but ideally from someone he actually likes this time.

Jason is so scared.

THE END.

[chronomally]

Qi Yu sees Fu Yansheng again for the first time in over a year and he starts sweating and he's like "Oh my god this is the guy I tricked into making out with me at the bar that one time and then I lied to him and pretended I was my twin brother. Did he find out who I really was and then spend the past year laying a trap so that we would end up back here, with me so reliant on and obsessed with him that this time I wouldn't try to run away? No, that's crazy!" Except that is, in fact, exactly what happened