#feel free to message me or something idk
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say what you will about svu and copaganda but the consistently repeated theme that olivia benson was fundamentally born Wrong and the way the violence of her conception radiates out and impacts every single relationship she has. she cannot conceive of an existence that does not render her as an agent of justice rather than a complex person and it infects her interactions with anyone who is able to balance that responsibility. the way law & order manages to successfully recast the police as superhero-esque christ figures is genuinely incredible and like. even the way the show itself oscillates as to what her exact fate is episode to episode. does it get better? worse? can she ever prove herself worthy? is the past ever really past? is this thing she’s been justly burdened with her burden to carry at all? in the eyes of the Law. Our Father who art in heaven. i wash my hands of this.
#like idk it eats a little bit. it worms into you a little bit.#i try to avoid talking about cop shows bc i think very often they are a net negative and i have very complicated feelings about them#but i do like shows like law and order for the same reason i like shows like greys anatomy#bc fundamentally they are polemics. the characters are not really Characters but more vessels for a message#and that inherent conflict between the Moral Argument and the characters themselves is really fascinating to me#something about free will and pre-determined fate blah blah#anyways. olivia benson i love you woman who is somehow everything#olivia benson#law & order#law and order svu#law and order special victims unit#copaganda
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Darling, I would like a drawing very much <3
I’m glad you liked the star charms! It was nice making things for people after so long
Hello Rainbow, how are you?
- @quixis-midas
Hello Masterpiece, I’m doing well! How are you?
No one has visited in a while - it’s definitely fine
#roleplay#fablesmp roleplay#fable smp roleplay#fable smp kaleidoscope#hey you okay?#feel free to message me or something idk#i know the feeling of lonelyness too#<prev#(ooc: I’m doing fine at the moment#ty for the offer but I don’t want to burden you with things I’ve got going on#I’m in the process of getting a therapist so I hope that helps#I’m sorry that you know the feeling of loneliness though - no one deserves to feel that way)
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this is weird but i wish there was more of like, a fandom for asmr fiction? gibi just put out another video in the shift/android series and i want to scream with someone about it but no one i know irl cares about that. i felt the same way when moonlight cottage released the sequel to her planetary exploration series. atlas's sonomancer series. goodnight moon's babblebrook series. i am insane about this genre but idk who to talk to about it. obviously yt comments would be the logical place but yt comments suck for human interaction. ik the plots are fairly light but like. there are fandoms for kids shows that have short episodes and light plots so i know that's not a barrier in itself.
okay it looks like actually there are... 11 fics for gibi's channel on ao3? and some stuff in the tag. the fandom is not nonexistent... i am seriously considering writing something myself but idk if it will happen i don't have any idea fleshed out rn
#idk what im trying to say but feel free to message me if you also go here#it's hilarious bc i dont even experience asmr i just. like this genre. its good.#also shift is extremely Gender#idk im sure cringe has something to do with it but are we really cringing about indie fiction in the year 2024#are we not past this
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my 1 (one) stardew opinion is shane should not have won the bachelor poll
#stardew valley#like i love shane but his storyline is not improved by him being a marriage canidate#if anything his bland post-marriage dialogue and 14 heart event dampen the message#and clint would have been a GREAT bachelor#linus not so much because he would have suffered from the same post-marriage dialogue dampening as shane#and he's too much of a free spirit to be tied down to your farm#like maybe he'd have a similar romance path as krobus? like you don't get MARRIED married but you have a commitment ceremony!!!#and the wizard... need to be in a love square with the witch and caroline...#his hidden dialogue. the situation with abigail. his adulterous past. his condescending behavior towards the player.#i also don't think he'd marry the player though. would probably make you soul bonded or something#maybe it increases your health or smth? and if you get divorced your health gets cut in half for like a week while you slowly recover#idk i really like the idea of him cursing you if you divorce him. 'not a very mature way to express anger' my ass#clint... i need to marry him...#there's a mod which makes his storyline WAYYY too similar to shane for my liking#with him going to therapy and stuff#but it DID make him realize being around emily makes him uncomfortable which i really like#i think a good route for him to go down would be him recognizing that what he feels for emily is not love or even desire#it's anxiety. emily is nice to him which makes him uncomfortable because no one is nice to him#which he confuses for attraction and he confuses her kindness for reciprocation#i think if emily ever asked him out he would turn her down#like emily would come up to you and be like 'hey i realize clint has a crush on me and i think it's really sweet so i'm gonna ask him out'#and then she does and he just goes 'O-O erm... no thank you...'#which confuses emily but she accepts being turned down and later on#clint talks to you about it like 'i thought that was what i wanted but her asking me out made me really uncomfortable and i don't know why'#and in a romance route he gets with you specifically because you make him feel calm :)#originally i wanted to say this was my most controversial stardew opinion but a LOT of people hate shane. so#also emily shouldn't have won the poll either!!!#sandy would have been a MUCH better option to flesh out her character and the desert more#marnie would have been interesting considering her relationship with mayor lewis#and i hate penny so i would fuck her mom out of spite lmaoooo
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was watching my mum responding to text after text getting frustrated because she wanted to make lunch but people wouldn't stop texting her
and i was like just. ignore them? just ignore the texts? i will ignore texts for hours until i feel like responding sometimes it's fine?
anyway my dad called me shallow for that one lmaoooo
#bruh#just because i'm TECHNICALLY available 24/7 doesn't mean i have to act like it#sometimes i will put my phone on charge for a day and forget about it#and then come back to several messages#normally there is none but sometimes i'm like oh i missed something huh#using this example because idk when i put my phone on charge today but i only just remembered it existed#i'll grab it tomorrow or something it's fine#sometimes i will see a message preview from someone and go oh. not urgent. i'll respond once i finish what i'm doing#or god forbid i'll respond when i feel like being available again#IF someone says ANYTHING implying they'll text me soon and want an answer then YES OBVIOUSLY I WILL RESPOND RIGHT AWAY#if i see a message preview that sounds time sensitive THEN YES I WILL RESPOND RIGHT AWAY#NORMALLY I DO RESPOND AS SOON AS I HAVE A MOMENT IN FACT#BUT HAVING A MOMENT IS NOT JUST WHEN I TECHNICALLY HAVE FREE HANDS#if i'm making lunch it can wait. if i'm hanging washing out it can wait. if i'm reading a book i can finish my page. etc etc etc#unless. i'm expecting. an urgent. text. it. can. wait. until. i finish. what. i'm. doing.#technically in any of those examples i can reply immediately my hands and brain can be free in 1 second#bUT I'LL DIE ON THE HILL THAT I CAN FINISH WHAT I'M DOING#admittedly. sometimes i forget by the time i'm done. that's on me. but still#9 times out of 10 i don't reply right away because i don't have my device on me/in front of me anyway#i don't plan on changing that one my bad
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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an uncle nina check in <3
hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333
i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<
i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!
and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.
however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...
makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333
so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,
uncle nina xx
#nina speaks#hi my loves#idk what the point of this was#i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful#but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually#which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study#so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work#i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can#i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk#might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly#and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires#i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm#trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose#so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines#also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me#but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break#i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles#ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well#gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here!#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH#really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things#weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun#and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys#no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads#welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc#i hope you enjoy it
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On a scale from 1 to 10 how weird would it be to write a little thank you/goodbye card to a colleague you really like where you'd tell him you learned a lot from him and appreciate his support and had fun working with him? It's a 10, isn't it.
#oh gooooooood i don't want him to leave#(but I'm glad he's getting out of this company. he was suffering there and it's the best decision for him)#but I'm So bad at expressing sincere feelings out loud without making it sound kinda stupid#and i also don't just wanna write a message via teams on his last day or something#but well#there's still a few months left for me to think about it#i just feel like his effort and kindness shouldn't go unacknowledged#I'm sure he'll get a lot of nice words and probably a goodbye present from his colleagues#but I'm not really a real part of the team and i probably won't even be there on his last day#so a little card with some words of gratitude and appreciation would be my solution but what if that's too much#idk why i think any kind of sincere expression of emotions is a crime worth the death penalty but..#(no i know. they taught me that in therapy.)#i would probably be happy about something like this and wouldn't find it strange or too much#so why do I think other people would#oh well let's just see how i feel about it in August#no need to worry about it for so long#void screams#i still feel sad#but honestly happy he'll be free soon
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Would anyone actually be interested in making/joining a gc or a discord server?
I've been seeing some posts about wanting to talk to mutuals and other bloggers, myself included but we're all nervous to actually have one lol. I'm willing to take on the initiative, planning keep it casual and such. But i dont know if this is something anyone is actually wanting.
(The gc might be a twitter thing only since tumblr doesnt have a gc option anymore)
#Idk how to tag this lol#It would nice to have one place to talk to everyone again#If anyone has any questions or something feel free to send me a message or ask ill be happy to answer#Though if this flops it wasnt meant to be </3#Rbs are appreciated just because it'll get out to more people
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I got shadowbanned
Hey, babes, I woke up earlier today to a shadowbanned account, which means it's impossible to answer asks from my desktop, and I can't get messages from anywhere. I also don't show up on tags anymore (content is not being delivered properly as well). I reached out to staff as soon as it happened and I'm just waiting for an answer now. Meanwhile, since I can't use the account, I will keep my requests closed and go off for a bit, see if I can either get the requests I already have done in time or idk just take a lil break.
Feel free to send me asks (thots, questions, random stuff, whatever) anyways cuz when I'm back I'm answering them all <3
This is just a PSA in case someone comes in here looking for me and finds nothing lol *mwah* see you guys soon (hopefully).
thisismeSTILLracing xx
#shadowbanned#something went screwy#idk why im tagging since i don't show up in them anymore ugh#lol help#i wanna angry cry#this is so stressfull#anyways#see yall soon#op: later#cuz hopefully they will get this sorted out and I'm deleting the post soon#millie rants#meanwhile if its something urgent feel free to message me on my main (hotgirlhockey)
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just want to assure all my friends and followers that, even though i havent been active in Ages, im still up to the usual: realizing that im more mentally ill than i initially thought, and calling aggressively heterosexual 80s singers faggots <3
#literally TELL ME that billy idol isnt a fag. you can’t!#also hey what the fuck is up with my brain i stg theres something new with this bitch every week#‘~ooh~ the diagnostic criteria for OSDD fits your brain like a glove’ goddamn girl can you chill? for one damn second?#why is it never that im just Not Like Other Girls and instead im just fucked up???#but noooo i had to have two specialists very quickly narrow in on that within one fucking week of eachother so idk!!!!#guess this is a Thing!!!#but yeah on a less silly note. spent a While on pluralpedia last night and um.#oh shit folks#things are making sense.#things are seeming Very Obvious in retrospect#(also idk if im Back yet. i wanna be n i really miss this space but also. its just not been Working for me yk)#anyways i hope ur all doing well and also plesae feel free to send me Messages or Posts if u want!#it might take me A Million Years (metric) to respond but i WILL see it and it will make me smile#f slur#whatever the fuck
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#though~~~~~ if you have a link to even a single one of these voice messages~~~~ i have some good news for you~~~~#just replace the last digit of the url with a number from 1-3 and you’ll get access to the rest of the messages#(you’ll just get a broken vid link if you replace it with a ‘4’ though lol)#it seems to be the same deal as the monaraji codes that came with mona’s album back in the good ol’ days#in any case!!!!!!!!!! they’re all so cringe lmao#but ig you can experience what it’s like to be lxl’s currently ill daughter named ‘julieta’ in the third one#bc why else would you invite lxl over to look after you while you’re sick?????#hello im already unwell i dont have energy to be a third wheel :((((#freakin’ yujiro and the ‘yeah feels like 38 degrees up in here’ just by touching the poor julieta’s forehead though#guess he has thermometer hands or something idk#or maybe that’s just his ✨mom energy✨ coming out idk#it’s cringe but it’s free ig??? well not really free since you technically had to buy a cd to get it. but. still.#aaaaa pls talk to me about the voice messages i need validation that these are indeed as real and cringe as they sound—#染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—
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@mute-call liked for a starter! based off a wish list post & thrown at william because i love the idea of a steven & evan bond!
IT’S NOT THAT HE THINKS STEVEN IS HIDING ANYTHING FROM HIM. WELL, NOT EXACTLY. William has known the guy for years and Christ, he’s not sure Steven could keep a secret even if his life literally depended on it. (Then again, that’s harsh: he’s always had a negative opinion of everyone at Freddy’s minus Henry sometimes, he should be more generous. Steven has put up with a lot over the years.) He does like him, for the most part. Loyal, hardworking, keeps his nose out of business that doesn’t concern him. William couldn’t say that about a lot of employees. But there’s something new about Steven recently. Something he can’t pin down. Like Steven knows something, sees something in him that he’d previously not been privy to — and it’s driving him insane.
Well. More insane. Sanity is relative, some would say. Steven would probably agree. You have to be a bit of an oddball to maintain a position at Freddy’s.
A knock at his office door jolts him from his reverie and from his chair. Pushing to his feet automatically, calling, “come in,” because he knows who it is. Obviously. Asking Steven to come to meet with him had been his idea, and sure, he’ll play coy trying to get information from him, but William is determined to get to the bottom of whatever the hell is going on here.
“Steven, just the man I wanted to see.” A flashy smile, a nonchalant tone: William internally pats himself on the back for acting so covertly. “Come in, please. Can I get you tea? Coffee? The whole building is freezing today.” Good small talk. That’ll get his guard down.
#(( THIS IS VAGUE & BADLY WRITTEN BUT ! tldr steven is communicating w evan and william senses it. kind of. or he senses SOMETHING. ))#(( evan & steven: hanging out / william sitting bolt upright in a dead sweat: somethings wrong ))#( message at the tone: william & steven. )#( house haunted by shame: default iii. )#( shall we read this story again?: starters. )#a; mutecall#(( ALSO WILLIAM BEING LIKE. i need to approach this sneakily and cunningly. IS SO FUNNY TO ME IDK WHY ))#(( ANYWAY. feel free to ignore if this is bad. goodnight zzzzz ))
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WAIT WHAT IF I MADE A TOKYO REVENGERS RPG HORROR FANGAME-
#ooc#would anyone be interested.#you could even work on it with me if you wanted. (@ mutuals specifically)#idk i feel like my third eye has opened and i've seen the POTENTIAL................#i'm thinking like something focused on mikey and toman's relationship; very psychologically based and similar to games like ib and such...#though if anyone has any other ideas to share i am open to hearing them#i know i'll probably lose interest in a few days but idk i feel like it'd be really cool!!!#👀#feel free to message or reply if you have any thoughts ;w;
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Miss greta gerwig im so sorry but i cannot stand you. anyway i watched BARBIE 🎉
#i enjoyed barbie thoroughly but dear god gerwig is not good with cathartic scenes#TO ME of course. i also found frances ha incredibly heavy handed and not nearly as deep as she seemed to try to make it out to be#the comedy was funny the direction they took with barbie and ken was pretty good but the scenes highlighting emotional breakthroughs were…#i dont know i didn’t like them. and something about barbie feels like a huge paradox#not just mattel making a barbie movie type of paradox. as in a paradox with the politics and messages or something#it tries to criticize capitalism through jokes but doesn’t really point to the relation between the patriarchy and capitalism?#especially cuz the patriarchy is especially kept in place through the workplace#/capitalism#and how capitalism uses systems of oppression. Idk where i’m going w this i just thought the ending would break free from looking at#feminism and womenhood through the stunted lens of what jobs they had. but then they just… give weird barbie a job i guess? and she’s fixed?#i thought weird barbie would be a metaphor for neurodivergence or at least being your ‘real self’ or some shit buuuut the way her arc is#concluded with her just being given a job… God#But anyway. KEN FUNNY!#oh the last scene was funny but also kind of depressing#💭.txt
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The night time dread is so severe rn;;;
#im slipping into a habit of insomnia i fear#and that what i dread??? i dont know!!!!#nightmares usually but its like. everything. fear of continuing. fear of ending#i miss regan when she sleeps and dread the transistion of evening into bed time#ive been trying to artificially run from it more lately like#trying to cook stuff at night#i have my drawing supplies like im gonna draw in the dark#its just. im sick rn still and maybe. its like. the feeling bad?#idk ive always had a hatred to bed time. i think its bc my parents used to force me to sleep really early and i resented that#idk tho#id ask regan but shes asleep#what good is a dr girlwife if she sleeps#i wish neither of us ever had to sleep again#fuck thetes something wrong with me fr#anyway.....hope youre doing ok if you read all this. feel free to message me if u wanna talk haha#the night is so long and so quiet and so full of dread i wish it would end and i also fear the sunrise#its like im a tortured vampire or smth
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