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taekooktimeline · 2 years ago

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Update in March 2023 -

I stumbled upon a comment saying I’m, essentially, “not objective” for dating the Tik Tok video when I did. So let me RT the above making it clear AGAIN I am not as strong at dates, I don’t have patience for it, I asked for feedback before I posted AND I’ve always made it clear if I get a date wrong, particularly a newer one when it’s easier to modify, you’re welcome to ping me. Did you see the post where I opened it up for discussion about this date, Anon? See above. You were welcome to discuss with me.

People, as always, fail to realize how much work I put into maintaining this. It can take hours for one piece. My personal laptop died on me and I ran to one family member’s house to update a few pieces yesterday, with no luck, then hopped to another with better luck.

On my day off.

In my free time.

I’ve gone back and even modified the piece itself to disclaim further, though it’ll take me some days to update the specific 2022 link since I need a laptop for that.

I continue to work on this blog because I’m quite proud of it. I’m not made of tough skin so I’m sensitive as it is, and when efforts are involved I’m even more sensitive. SM and my anxiety will never allow for me to feel settled online.

All of this is to say, idk how many times I can disclaim a piece, or stress I’m open to modifying, but if someone believes disagreeing with me on a date makes me irrational or illogical or unobjective or whatever else you think, when at the crux of the day I do my best to drop links and disclaim and do whatever else I can to archive but give you means to decide for yourself, and not to mention that piece was (IMO) a pretty straight forward factual piece, minus a disagreement on a damn date, which arguably is speculative from all of our standpoint, then I’m not sure why, Anon, you’re wasting your time reading this blog, then commenting in other places about it.

Also, Anon, you’re right. It’s absolutely my “prerogative” to believe Tae and Jk are together (I’m at a loss why else you’d think I’d continue to run this if I didn’t believe that?) just as much as it’s your “prerogative” to find this blog “colored” in my view point archiving because of that, despite the million disclaimers when I do share my opinions, then provide links so you can decide if you see it the way I do or not. At the end of the day I will NEVER apologize for supporting Taekook 🤷🏻‍♀️since you think as you do, it’d make more sense for you to drop your user instead of hiding behind anonymity and me having to make a public post to address it. That way, I can block you from this space to save us both valuable time going forward��

I try to keep this space positive but this needed to be addressed. You can can see a post differently than me. That’s ok. You can disagree on a date. That’s ok, and I always encourage discussions on this. But at the end of the day, I very proudly support Taehyung and Jungkook, and I do my best to show love, respect and support to them in all the ways I can, individually and together. The way I see it, Taekook are just going to get louder. They’ve always been close but they’ll keep showing just how close they are. People should accept it and support or be quiet and stop spouting nonsense🤷🏻‍♀️I’m going to keep giving it my best to archive their precious and close bond. And I hope people, somehow, someday, stop being so bold in their negativity when they hide behind a keyboard 💜

I want to close this post positively.

Please keep supporting Taehyung and Jungkook. Trend their hashtags. Vote for “left and right” for iHeart. Stream their music. Watch their MVs. Stream Tae’s SimInvest Ads. Watch Jinny’s Kitchen on Amazon Prime and TvN (which has been so cute and wholesome😭) If you can afford to, buy Tae’s Elle magazines (but don’t stress if you can’t afford it. We support in the ways we can💜) Keep showing them love💜

Also, I’m not very good at taking prettied up pictures, but my Tae folio FINALLY came in to go along with my JK folio😍🥰💚And I managed to get my hands on the Lucky Cooky black edition😭🖤

Help!

Hey everyone!

I want to open this up for discussion. I can’t seem to create a poll on here (that I can see) so a blog post will have to do. I may delete this post to keep the blog clean of this type of thing but let’s see ☺️

Do you think the Taekook Tik Tok video was filmed

1) in the first two weeks of November 2022, around sunrise, when Jungkook was back from Qatar the first time

2) November 22, 2022 around sunrise, literally right after Jungkook came back the second time from Qatar

I didn’t factor airport outfits into why I went with 11/22, but was going off a general consensus and discussions I saw on social media.

However, I just watched Vante Kim’s latest video, and while I always caution about relying heavily on analysis videos, she tends to be very sound and logical.

Based on her video, I’m apt to change the date to a blanket “first two weeks of November 2022” but welcome thoughts before I do that.

I feel bad for people who’ve reblogged my post, since when I edit, the reblogs don’t modify. I’m really sorry about that.

As you know, dates aren’t my strong suit. As long as I have a general timeframe, I’m happy with that. To say it took place at the start of November, or the end, isn’t too terribly far off. But my OCD is fixating on it so let me know what you think ☺️💜💜

Update - I’ve had a lot of AMAZING feedback in the last 24 hours. It seems like a general consensus is after the second trip. Y’all left some incredibly pertinent facts so I’ll leave this up as an archive for the discussions part of the blog☺️my gut said after the second trip, especially because of the hair band, but my OCD wouldn’t let it go. I know it’s not too far of a time difference, whether it’s after the first or second trip to Qatar, and the primary point of preserving that piece is because we got an adorable Taekook Tik Tok video. Still, I’m incredibly grateful to everyone for leaving their thoughts, since my brain wouldn’t quit worrying💜It was really neat reading some of the things being pointed out, such as the Celine hoodie, the timing between Yoonmin’s and Hobi’s uploads compared to theirs, etc🥰 thank you so much 🙏🏽

(Keep your feedback coming if you have anything else you’d like to add!)

#taekook #taekooktimeline #2023 #asks #discussions

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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

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Hello, hello, tis I, your friendly neighborhood ‘dude who is obsessed with people making jokes and insults out of Dick’s name’ back with another episode of Why No But Seriously Why!

In today’s episode, we’re going to focus on the fanon of the swear jar. That thing ordained by Alfred that makes many an appearance in fics and headcanons....including ones that also show Jason and/or others calling Dick a Dickhead and other things all willy nilly and suchlike and forthwith.

How does this track, asketh I? Does Alfred provide exemption clauses for making fun of your brother, to the others? Does Alfred not consider making crude insults out of the name Dick to be a swear? Does Alfred, a born Brit, hailing from the land of the “We’ve Been Calling Richards ‘Dicks’ For Longer Than The Rest Of You Have Been Calling Them Rich’s,” not consider the fascination with making penis jokes out of the name of a child he’s helped raised from the age of EIGHT to be uncultured, crass and frankly unacceptable in any house he resides in?

I’m just saying, does it really make sense, and is the risk of pulling readers out of your story if they’re NOT amused by the jokes made of his name really worth whatever it is you feel is added to a story BY making the same old jokes about Dick’s name?

As I’ve said many times before....Dick Grayson? Fictional character. Has no feelings that actually need protecting....OUTSIDE of fiction. Making jokes about his name from beyond the fourth wall, just people commenting on a fictional character’s name? Go wild, go crazy, have a freaking Bacchanalia. Truly does not matter, if you ask me.

But IN universe? IN fiction? Totally different story, because look what those jokes require or make assumptions out of:

1) That Dick truly has no protective or defensive feelings whatsoever about his childhood nickname, and genuinely feels nothing about people habitually taking his choice to keep it as an invitation to insult or mock him.

1b) That Dick doesn’t in any way ever perceive peoples’ insistence on associating his name MORE with the insults and penis jokes than they do with it just being a name, to in any way be a slight against his beloved parents, of the “well they should have known better than to call him that” variety.

1c) That Dick has no negative feelings whatsoever about the fact that even his close friends and family regard his name as being no more worthy of respect or being ‘offlimits’ than the average Gothammite or public citizen might regard it, despite the fact that his close friends and family are perfectly aware of the public’s history of looking down on Dick for his origins and thus you’d think would WANT to appear different than them in Dick’s eyes.

1d) That Dick has never at any point expressed anger, frustration or bitterness that he can’t even have his name respected without even loved ones superimposing their own associations on top of it, no matter what it means to HIM.

2) That Alfred truly has no opinions whatsoever of the other charges in his care disrespecting Dick’s name and its origins stemming from his first parents.

2b) That Alfred has never expressed this opinion to any of them or made his displeasure about such jokes known.

2c) That Alfred doesn’t find it disappointing that the rest of the family and associated friends and allies seem disinclined to separate themselves from the general public’s opinions of Dick’s name by regarding it with a little more respect as at least a sign that they regard Dick himself with a little more respect than the general public.

3) That Jason or none of Dick’s other friends or family have never taken the initiative to wonder for themselves how Dick might actually feel about the frequent jokes or insults, and if shockingly, he might not actually be fond of them.

3b) That Jason or Dick’s other friends or family have chosen not to care or respect the opinions of Dick and/or Alfred or anyone else who states or suggests that these jokes or insults aren’t welcome.

4) That none of Dick’s other friends, be they Titans, or Uncle Clark, or siblings like Cass or Damian or frankly anyone, ever speak up in defense of Dick’s name and suggest that there’s a significant lack of respect around it and thus around him, that they personally take a very dim view of. (Even when Jason’s best friends include Dick’s former fianceé and own longtime BFF).

5) That nobody has ever bothered to think that only EVER being addressed by some form of insult by even his own siblings might possibly have a slightly demoralizing effect on someone’s self-esteem over time.

5b) That nobody has ever bothered to think that making sexual jokes about his name and thus innately sexualizing Dick from even his earliest days in Gotham, when coupled with the hyper-sexualized stereotypes people often apply to Romani individuals and further coupled with the suggestive rumors surrounding Bruce’s reasons for taking in a young boy, might possibly have contributed over time to Dick having an extremely skewed view of himself as an innately sexualized being no matter what he actually did in terms of sexual behavior.

I mean.....there’s more. If I felt like it.

But the point is......there’s a LOT of implicit assumptions that creep in alongside the seemingly harmless jokes and insults surrounding Dick’s name, the second you start to really focus in on how it might appear from his POV....IF you include even just the possibility that he DOESN’T like it.

EDIT: Also, lots of people have pointed out that its just sibling culture to make fun of a sibling in ways that you wouldn’t be okay with someone outside the family making the same jokes. And this is absolutely true! BUT. My issue here and why I don’t think the Dickhead jokes fall under this umbrella, is because I can say in my experience being from a blended family, and from what I’ve discussed in the past with other kids from blended families....there are ‘rules’ about this sort of thing, when you have adopted siblings, and the one near-universal truth that I’ve always found is that anything that stems from an adopted sibling’s first family, the one you do NOT share with them, is absolutely off limits. You mock them for something that originated outside your family, you’re the asshole, because at that point, you’re literally no different from outsiders to your current family making fun of that sibling. That ‘joke’ is not YOURS to make or share in, if you do not have the history with the thing you’re basing the joke on, that your sibling has with it. Shared history is the entire basis of siblings being able to mock each other while still citing solidarity against outsiders, and in adopted families, there absolutely are elements of each others’ lives that YOU are the outsider to, and it absolutely falls on you to respect that just as you’d want your sibling to respect the same of you in turn. If Jason absolutely would not be okay with Dick or anyone else making jokes about Catherine or his life with her, he should not be okay with making jokes about Dick’s name, circus origins, or other aspects of his life that stem from or call back to his time with his first family. The same holds true of all the others as well.

The other aspect of this name-calling not falling under the excuse-umbrella of just being typical sibling culture is its entirely one-sided. Show me the tendency where Dick responds to these everpresent jokes or insults by even light-heartedly calling Jason and the others insults like Hey Asshole, or Dumbass or anything like that. When things are entirely one-way, the impression given is not that of a camaraderie of back-and-forth. It becomes just one person or multiple people punching down in a way they feel confident from experience the other person will NOT respond in kind, which gives them an outlet for venting frustration, resentment or aggravation which risks them nothing, because they KNOW Dick won’t retaliate, and at that point that exchange becomes something very different from a general sibling back-and-forth....because there’s no ‘back.’ What you end up with at that point is literally just hostility, no matter if more mild than other cases, and a situation where one sibling is simply taking ADVANTAGE of the opportunity afforded by another sibling’s good nature and refusal to engage in hurt feelings even while you feel free to cause those feelings in them. And that’s just not a good look. Its just not. And even if you find those exchanges humorous yourself as a writer or a reader, you might want to keep in mind that to plenty of other readers, its making even the characters you like and INTEND to be liked, just....come across as kinda not cool assholes instead.

END OF EDIT.

And here’s the other point:

Its not really about his name, and never has been.

His name is simply emblematic of how EASY it is for people to fall into the trap of just....choosing to overlook Dick’s POV entirely, the second its pitted against other characters and what they might gain from their POV....even if that ‘gain’ is as simple and basic as the slight moment of humor Jason gets from making a joke or mocking insult out of Dick’s name.

Here, let me present this another way:

Every single person alive has SOMETHING they get defensive or protective about. SOMETHING that they’re like no, this is offlimits to people, this is not for their consumption, their entertainment, its not for THEM to take and twist into something other than what it is for ME, because its MINE. This is basic human nature. EVERYONE has this feeling about SOMETHING that’s particular to them.

And with Dick, most of the things that we’re generally given to view him being protective or defensive about are either almost more about other people than him - such as being protective of his family members - or else, they’re things that he’s not ALLOWED to be purely defensive or say, territorial about.

Like for instance, the name Robin.

Think about how Robin is pretty much one of the ONLY things Dick is largely deemed to be defensive or proprietary about.....BUT how that’s also largely used NOT to have him wholly in the right for feeling that way.....but to put him in conflict with the other Robins, given that they also have strong feelings about the name regardless of its origins, and its not solely Dick’s anymore.

Now here’s my question:

If for example, you go with the take that Robin was Dick’s mother’s name for him, and that’s why Dick is so protective and defensive of that name.....why would he be any LESS protective or defensive about his mother AND father’s OTHER name for him....given that the only possible reason for him TO stick with the name Dick all throughout adulthood, is that its the form of his name they referred to him by, and thus, clearly, it DOES carry emotional significance for him?

See what I’m saying?

Why is it, that the only time so many people see Dick laying a claim to something, being defensive or protective of something that’s HIS, standing up for HIMSELF.....is when the waters are murky, when its not a clear cut case of him being wholly in the right, when it pits Dick against someone else and says both are at least somewhat valid?

Why is it so RARE to see people imagine Dick putting his foot down in defense of himself, in defense of something that’s HIS.....where its 100% crystal clear that he has every right and reason in the world to feel this way, where there’s no doubt whatsoever that he’s on the correct side of thinking “this is mine and I get to say this”?

Even about something as simple and basic as his own name?

And why is it the only time we seem to see people sticking up for Dick or weighing in on his behalf, its in the case of extreme actions like him having been raped or abused? Why are there hardly any stories of people looking at alleged family and friends bitching about Dick or heaping insults on him or his capabilities and saying hey, he’s been doing this while most of us were sitting in middle school detention, you could show him some respect? Why do none of the people who value and respect Dick so highly ever seem to weigh in like THAT in stories?

My challenge, should you choose to accept it, is just to look at the above list of possible reasons why Dick might not be thrilled about how people use his name....and just IMAGINE what it would look like, if Dick just said to another character....”Hey. Could you cut that out. I would appreciate it if you didn’t do that.” Even just “I really don’t like that.”

How does a scene like that go? One where Dick is wholly and completely justified in putting his foot down, in feeling that someone is overstepping or paying him an insult or a disservice?

We hear all the time in fandom about how in the name of ‘humanizing’ Dick and ‘making him more relatable’ some people focus overly much on emphasizing his flaws, his alleged temper, his secretiveness, etc.

I’d like to argue that flaws are not actually the only staple of humanity. Risking making a character more dislikable is not actually the only way to make them feel more human or relatable. THIS is another way to do that. Make them defensive, proprietary, territorial, even prickly.....but with REASON. With CAUSE. With JUSTIFICATION. Because people are ALLOWED to be, when people are being a - all irony intended - total dick to them.

And there is a long, LONG history in fanfics, of people being exactly that to Dick, and him just....smiling.

EXCEPT for when his choice NOT to smile, and to actually take offense and push back......pits him against another character but with the other character usually being granted just as much right and reason to not give way.

So? I’m saying you have right here a perfect example of how to flip the script on that. To make it abundantly clear that Dick has just as much right to put his foot down with even people who love and care about him and say hey, you’re doing something I don’t like, that in fact even hurts me, and I want you to stop.

Why not use it? Why does there always seem to need to be an ARGUMENT about whether or not Dick is in the right to feel wronged in some way.....when its so abundantly clear that he’s given no shortage of reasons for that in practically every other fic?

And consider.....if you’ve never previously entertained the idea that Dick might take offense to how people treat his name, or feel defensive about it......what else might you be overlooking that he could feel that way about, and is there any reason why you think you tend not to view Dick as being defensive of HIMSELF and things that are uniquely his?

*Shrugs* Just food for thought, mayhaps.

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erectionsandtea · 3 years ago

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As I grow and my views change, I want to keep you followers updated, so I am making an updated version of my "things to know" list for ST fans who want to follow me.

1) I ship both Mileven and byler, about 90% and 10% respectively. Both are super adorbs and valid in their own right.

2) I don't want to be involved in any ship wars, so please do not start anything with me.

3) I still have a very emotional attachment to Mileven, so I try to avoid any "byler is canon/byler is endgame" definitive proof and/or analyses, and I don't follow blogs that are primarily dedicated to making those analyses. Nothing against them, they're just not for me.

4) I do not view byler as canon, it is currently just fanon for me. However, I am absolutely willing to discuss the POSSIBILITY that byler could become canon/endgame, but please keep it civil. I am also willing to talk about headcanons, look at fanart, and just gush about how cute they are.

5) if I do decide to join a debate or something ends up escalating, I try to stay calm and civil, and I also usually try to stay with the facts (aka what has been clearly and definitively established in the show). Please do not get aggressive with me.

6) any aggressive shippers (Mileven, byler, or otherwise) are not welcome. I also do not appreciate shippers shitting on other shippers just because they don't agree. Just leave each other be.

7) if I want opinions or headcanons or anything (for byler), I WILL ASK FOR THEM. Doing so is not an invitation to shove your theories down my throat. Please. Be. Civil.

8) I do not like viewing Mileven and byler as being in competition with each other. No "mike doesn't really love El" (bc I fully believe he does), no "mike doesn't care about will" (bc if you honestly believe that, you are watching the wrong show), no trying to pit the kids against each other. I love all the kids.

9) I don't want to hear anything about how I am "not a true shipper" bc of the aforementioned statements. I can ship what I want and it is valid and I am valid.

10) absolutely NO ship bashing, and NO slander against any of the characters.

11) if I ever come off as aggressive or rude in my posts/comments, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I never mean to be mean, I don't want to offend anyone or make anyone feel like they are invalid. Please let me know kindly so I can either revise my comment(s) or explain myself and apologize.

Please show me decency and respect, and I will show you the same. If you want to talk to me, please feel free, I love messages. Attackers/bashers will have their messages posted with no response but just so everyone can see what an asshole you are.

I look forward to any (sophisticated) discussions! Since I am very new to this ship (and as stated above, still very emotionally attached to Mileven), I am not yet stable enough to get into debates, no matter how friendly. They will make me argue and I don't want to do that, so let's keep our discussions calm and cool like a cucumber. ❤️

I also ship elmax, lumax, and a variety of other ships, if you would like to discuss any of those with me. I am also kind of obsessed with the poly-party ship.

Thank you.

P.S. if this makes any of the byeler fans already following me want to unfollow, I'll be sorry to see you go, but I understand.

#stranger things #mileven #byler #byeler #my rules #ST fans read before you follow #ugh seriously all of my byler followers are so nice to put up with me #and all this #i dont deserve any of you

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potteresque-ire · 4 years ago

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Hi! I have been reading your posts and responses to anonymous and I am inclined to comment on your broadly realistic views and detailed analystic answers and let us not forget your ability to be warm in putting forward your opinions. I am truly a huge fan. Thank you for being a station for various answer seekers.

If you have time and patience, please elaborate on the situation GG is still facing post 227. Recently I read various comments insinuating GG copied DD for Douyin night which is absurd but the implication that only one party is still being targeted unnecessarily raise hackles of a lot of solo fans. And I, under any circumstances, DO NOT believe the involvement of the other party. Firm believer of BJYXSZD.

My point is what is being done to stop these antis from targeting GG. Since one of the motive to target GG is to severe the relationship of GG and DD, IMO at least. Does constant attack (external stimulus) on GG (belittling him by comparing him to DD) may have the possibility to effect their relationship (internal reaction)? Objectively yes, but given your perception of their relationship, what is your opinion in this matter, however subjective it may be?

Moreover, how much extreme and sometimes irrational analysis done by bjyx community can lead to harm to both of them especially GG?

Also, I have seen DD being the captain of BJYX in various circumstances but also throwing off people from their old predicted/maintened theories especially in case of Kadians. I am not sure how much to trust these 'candies' since he has a reputation of not giving a f*** of others opinion. So why would he post GG related or non-related content with same kadians. I mean if he posts private content with GG related kadian then why post promotional content with GG related kadian. Does it imply that kadians are related to GG or not or he doesn't care and we are thinking too much. I am not sure what I am writing now, maybe multitude of thoughts poring out here. I am extremely sorry for that.

I do not know whether people believe or not but 1st post by GG yesterday had initials YB in the circle. Not at all explicit, and depends on believers but I felt like he was just trolling BJYX, it may be good naturedly but after his promotional brand picture of shrimp in bunny's hand. I do not know I just felt, dissappointed/bitter/unsure about all of this. I think it is normal to feel this way from time to time even for SZD because along with emotional investment we have rational perspective which is necessary to scrutinize evidence(maybe) from time to time.

I whole heartedly apologize for writing an essay length ask, this is the reason I wanted your patience 😅.

If any other blogger wants to add or comment on this please feel free to do so. Your suggestions are highly welcomed. 🙏

Hello Anon!

I take it that your questions about safety are concerned about the behaviour of c-solos and c-turtles? International fans aren’t likely to put Gg and Dd at any risk. That said, however, frequent fighting among i-fans would likely drain Gg and Dd’s international fanbase, as many fans do not enjoy being a combative atmosphere (I, for one, will run away as quickly as a turtle can run!). Lost i-fans can’t be easily replenished, whether they’re turtles or solos ~ The Untamed, as a foreign language show so beloved that fans are willing to scale tall language and cultural barriers to understand it, isn’t something that comes around often. (stanning Gg and/or Dd does take a lot of work!)

About the arguments. I probably only know about a fraction of them since I do not interact directly with fans outside Tumblr . As far as I can tell, however, recent arguments among c-solos and c-turtles have been ordinary fights, and also, fairly “bi-directional” between the solos (ie. I don’t think Gg or Dd has been relatively exempt from attacks compared to each other).

These arguments can be heated and some of the attacks may sound vicious, but there’s nothing much to worry about from a safety angle, as they haven’t caught the attention of those outside the fan circles.

The theorising by turtles are also not inherently dangerous. c-turtles have mostly been careful about keeping their discussions among themselves. The only risk it may lead to in the future, that I can think of right now, is the associated YiZhan content on China-based websites (ex. Bilibili, Douyin), which has become fairly plentiful. YiZhan candies used to be relatively obscure given the guidelines of CP fans to keep them among themselves (they call this practice 圈地自萌, literally, drawing a circle on the ground and have fun in it by oneself). These days, however, anyone who’s curious can get a good sense of YiZhan’s story by browsing Bilibili.

This probably contributes to the continued growth of the turtle population; however, some of this content is created by non-turtles who seek viewership and have little concern over Gg and Dd’s safety. They are the ones who re-upload the BTS, for example, despite the repeated pleas and warnings by the “站姐”s—the superfans who take/purchase these videos—as well as the turtles to not do that. If these content creators go overboard, there’s a possibility that YiZhan content may get caught in the government’s “Eradicating Pornography and Illegal Publications”（掃黃打非) movement. The movement originated in the mid 2000s, and its recent waves have been used as pretext to remove LGBT+ and BL content on line (I will eventually set up a post re: those events). Just last month (2020 Dec), Bilibili has been explicitly named by the government for hosting questionable materials, which means it’s already under scrutiny. Sweeps performed on an entire website are usually broad-based enough that no specific individuals are targeted; however, the government also encourages, with financial incentives, the reporting of specific content and has set up a dedicated website for doing so. While all YiZhan content has no direct relation to Gg and Dd, removal of such content may cause an over-reaction from fans, which can, in turn, lead to accusations of poor fan management by Gg and Dd. Most people will also assume the YiZhan content to be created by turtles.

(Another example of how an alleged turtle mis-step can get the YiZhan fandoms and Gg and Dd tied to the 掃黃打非 movement: a few days ago, a Weibo post showed a photo of a hardcover version of an explicit BJYX fanfic, reportedly sold for profit, and GG haters were calling for an arrest for “illegal publication.” So far, there’s minimal noise on the issue, so it isn’t something to worry about. It can also be fake news, which is so bountiful on the platform and on every aspect of daily life that most die a very peaceful, very well-deserved death.).

Whether fan arguments / theories may affect Gg and Dd’s relationship (assuming they’re in a relationship) … my guess is, not much. Gg and Dd are busy people, unlikely to closely follow their fans’ discussions. Again, I expect effects to be felt only if the arguments get out of hand ~ as in, if they begin to involve the public and/or the government.

As for the question about what is being done to stop Gg being targeted: fan wars are incredibly common in China (as in everywhere else), and Gg and Dd’s aren’t special in that sense ~ it’s just that as turtles, we know about those surrounding Gg and Dd and they feel significant to us. No individuals can stop a fan war ~ all we can do is to not join these wars ourselves.

Personally, I think the international fan base of Gg and Dd, as solos and cpfs, have more chance to achieve peace than its Chinese counterparts — if they choose to want that. Popularity in China is not only quantified (which is likely true everywhere, by marketing departments), but very visibly so. Sales numbers, votes, traffic attributed to each idol are frequently released to the public, possibly to foster competition among fans and drive these numbers further upward. c-turtles’ demonstrated strong performance in pushing these metrics has made them a target to those who wish to have usurp their consumer power. They, therefore, have good reasons to be wary of anyone who try to sway them from their “turtle-ship”, whether to turn them into solos or to lure them into an entirely different fandom. The swaying messages are also not always obvious, not always a direct “your cp suck”. They can be subtle, many even come from netizens who appear to be fellow turtles, who may say “oh, maybe we (turtles) are wrong” or “we have to be realistic; Gg and Dd will never look at each other publicly again”—messages that cast doubt and sink morale in a fandom that’s already running an uphill battle. Remember: traditionally, CP fandoms are not expected or welcomed to last, and solos have been happy to (correctly) point out that the BTS, the origin of the most solid “evidences” of BJYXSZD, are getting older by the day. c-turtles can’t expect anyone else to help defend their ship if something happens, given CP fandoms’ lack of respectability, given YiZhan being a real person M/M pairing that is often frowned upon. So it’s understandable, to me at least, why c-turtles are on guard, and occasionally, clash with those who they feel may be trying to take away what they love.

i-turtles, I feel, don’t have that many reasons to fight. We don’t really have other fandoms (for example, the up and coming danmeis—the adapted BL dramas) vying for our attention (and wallets). No one can put an expiration date on the YiZhan communities except ourselves.

Another way to see this is: we—as in, the combined Gg + Dd international fanbase, the solos + CPFs—are lucky in a way the fans in Gg and Dd’s home country are not. Collectively, we’re much further removed from the pressure to perform as fans, which is immense in China with their fan circle culture and fan economy. i-shrimps and i-motorcycles ~ some of you are reading this, I think? (hello!) ~ here are my humble thoughts: the solo/turtle ratio of Gg and Dd’s international fans doesn’t make much of an impact on Gg and Dd’s star status, on the popularity metrics that matter. Our spending power is limited outside China’s borders, and while Gg and Dd likely love us equally as fans, our adoration for them doesn’t really matter much, if at all, to the production/media/commercial companies that control the trajectories of their careers.

Along this line, the turtles’ “double loyalty” doesn’t have much of an ill effect, because there are few popularity contests here that mean much; few times (if any) when the turtles must face the dilemma of whether to vote for Gg or Dd because only a single vote is allowed; few situations where they have only x amount of dollars and must split it equally between Gg or Dd’s endorsements. There’s also much less cause to worry that i-turtles may draw the attention, or ire of the Chinese government ~ the whole international fanbase is too far away, too spread out to destabilise the regime in any way.

What the turtles do have in common with you, the solos, is their knowledge, their love for Gg/Dd. Knowledge, in particular. The people who know about Gg/Dd are still far and in between—at where I am, at least, and my guess is, it’s likely true for many of you too. Think of the turtles as people who you can talk to about your favourite star in places where few people know about him, can help promote The Untamed far and wide—many people still haven’t heard of the show, and they deserve to.

For the turtles ~ no one can take away our turtle-ship identity, as long as we don’t give it away. No one can report on the our communities to the government and get them dissolved. Our votes, our spending habits are no one else’s business but ours here.

So, Anon, here’s what I think, and these are all very personal opinions, very personal decisions on how to navigate fandom …

I truly hope that we, as the international fanbase, can try to use this luck that we have. Make our communities not mere copies of their (combative) Chinese counterparts but something different, something with our own flavour, something with more peace and less fighting.

Specifically, I see little cause to try to persuade/dissuade anyone to be a solo/turtle. I find them… not the best use of time. Why? Because frankly, neither solos nor turtles have a better grasp of who Gg and Dd are. Neither solos nor turtles have a truly good grasp of who Gg and Dd are. These discussions are therefore bound to end up with more ill will than conclusions, since both sides are short of facts.

We’re all short of facts as audiences, who’ve all only seen a tiny sliver of who Gg and Dd are as human beings.

I don’t mean Gg and Dd’s star image is fake ~ it’s just that, their star image is their “work face”, and even I, a lowly turtle, must act somewhat differently in my own office. It’s part of being professional.

Gg and Dd’s star image are their professional face, and no professionals worth a salt truly ignore other’s opinions, especially when the profession is being an entertainer whose job is to face and hold the attention of the public.

This is true for Gg; this is true for Dd.

Social media accounts are also part of Gg and Dd’s professional face ~ whatever is posted on there will be scrutinised by millions of fans, and they know that. The posts do provide some insights about Gg an Dd’s personalities, but they can’t be expected to show a complete picture. No parts of these posts, therefore, whether it’s the content or the kadians, are sufficient evidences for / against any aspect of their personal lives (especially as private an aspect as their romantic lives). Anon, you mentioned promotional marketing materials, and here’s my understanding of them ~ ambassadors such as Gg and Dd have minimal control over their design. The shrimp-holding bunny you’re referring to, for example, is very likely provided by the company.

However, may I also add this? Please try to not think of the shrimps / motorcycles as enemies of the turtles. Millions of people are behind each of these labels, and true for any group of this size, a fraction of its members are bound to be annoying. A small fraction may be awful, even. But they don’t represent the entire group. The shrimps are not only Gg’s fans, many of them have supported him longer than any turtle (since turtle-ship can’t be older than 2018); they’re also the reasons why Gg is in the industry ~ they voted for him in X-Fire. Likewise, a subset of motorcycles have been with Dd since UNIQ; they were there when the Korean ban effectively dissolved his group; they stuck with him when he was attacked for taking on the role of LWJ.

We’re all Gg and Dd’s fans, if you ask people outside the fandom. Remember: few outside China understand why heated arguments can occur between a bunch of shrimps, turtles and motorbikes. (It sounds a bit kafkaesque, just typing it out.)

It’s important not to lose sight too, that Gg and Dd’s social media accounts, where many new candies are found, primarily function as bridges of communication between them and their fans. These accounts do have different degrees of “professionalism” ~ Weibo and the official accounts being more formal, and Oasis, Douyin being more laid back and intimate; still, they all serve similar purposes. They’re not candy generators, or a script Gg and Dd have an obligation to follow to confirm / refute BJYXSZD.

Also: these accounts are accessible and watched by the public, not all of whom are friendly to Gg and Dd.

Re: Gg’s drawing on Oasis. He used the account as it’s intended for—to interact with his fans (the caption of the first draft was an unspoken invitation to shower him with ideas) and maybe, to show off a little (it was a very nice piece of artwork ~ a comment that I, sadly, haven’t seen much of). I doubt he posted his drawing because he wanted fans to carpet-search for traces of Dd in it (even though he probably expected that would happen); I very much doubt he posted his drawing because he wanted his fans to fight over scratch marks or black dots.

If these fights keep happening, I can imagine a possible outcome. He’ll stop showing us his drawings. His social media accounts will become less and less personal, as they already have.

I’ll share with you my thoughts about candies too, while I’m at it. These are probably not-so-popular opinions, so please take them all with a grain of salt.(Salted caramels? 😊 )

I haven’t looked at why candies are called candies, but I find the name appropriate for how I think of them ~ candies are 1) neither evidences or truth, 2) sweet, 3) treats (non-essential, not like the main course).

The first point is, perhaps, the one I try the hardest to keep in mind. There are posts out there claiming the candies as made-beliefs—generated from edited pictures or videos, exaggerated translations, and their interpretations forced by “guidances” in the annotations/narration. There are also posts claiming that turtles are deceivers, or have been deceived by brainwashers who maliciously created these make-beliefs. A turtle may assume these posts are all lies, all made by antis.

But, speaking turtle-to-turtle, I’d venture to say this … there’s some truth in the *first* statement. Many candies do, indeed, taste different if their taster returns to the original source—not necessarily unsweet, but less sweet. Candies, remember, are generated by fans like you and I. Same for c-candies ~ they aren’t endorsed by Gg and Dd, aren’t necessarily closer to the truth just because of the relative proximity of their birthplaces to their leads.

Candy generation is The Tradition of CP fandoms. It’s a celebrated skill, and who doesn’t want to generate a candy that will be talked about, that will be part of the BJYX canon, for as long as the fandom lasts? Some fans are, therefore, also more … efficient in the “marketing” of the candies they generated — in persuading others that their candies are evidences, the truth. “Guidance” photos and videos (which pinpoint the place to watch, sometimes with appropriate sound effects for emphasis) have come about that way, and because they’re easy to digest—especially where language barriers exist—they end up spreading to i-fandoms.

These photos and videos may look more professional / trustworthy, but they often have an additional layer of subjectivity ~ on top of the already subjective opinion of what makes a candy. Translations (of BTS, fake rumours house content etc) also introduce a subjective element. Word choices can significant modify the tone of a conversation; speakers of different Chinese dialects may also have different interpretations of the same phrases. Example: I, as a non Chongqing/Sichuanese speaker, can guess the literal meaning of the “puppy” term Gg used for Dd — 狗崽崽 (gou zai zai) — but I also had to rely on others to tell me how endearing the term is; me being a Chinese speaker actually doesn’t make my interpretation any more valid, or authoritative, in this scenario, because my dialect doesn’t use this term at all.

It doesn’t mean the people who’ve put in the work have any less-than-good intent; the vast majority of them come from a place of deep love. It’s just that we all carry our own perspectives, and as fans, our strong emotions in our fanworks.

This is why candies are often insufficient as good “points” for arguments, why they fail to convince non-believers, sometimes to the disappointment of some turtles. As evidences, they aren’t objective enough; they’re also often touch upon the assumption that’s mark the fundamental difference between solo and cp fans — the assumption that Gg and Dd are (not) together. Take, for example, this segment from a (polite) ask I got from an anon solo:

All the matching clothes, jewelry, shoes etc. Stopped being valid candy when I realized that the brands have popular stars "endorse" their products. The lightning pendant? Other actors have also worn it. Does that mean they are in a 3-way with (Gg) and (Dd)? Probs not.

Solo anon was correct! Brands have star endorsers, and other entertainers have, indeed, worn the same lightning pendant. The implied argument is also valid: people who don’t care about, don’t even know about each other can wear the same things. Most of us do that on a daily basis with our mass-produced garments.

However, a counterargument can also be made to the statement above, and easily: even the most precious, most beautiful wedding rings (say, from Tiffany!) are not exclusive to the first RL couple who bought them. It doesn’t mean the first RL couple is sleeping with all the couples who bought the same rings afterwards, doesn’t mean those rings aren’t significant to every one of these couples as romantic mementos. More often than not, couples wear matching things not because these things are exclusive to them—because how often can one find things that only exist as a single pair in this world? They wear matching things because they want to see something on themselves that remind them of their significant other and so, as long as the things aren’t so prevalent that everyone is wearing them, they can already serve their purpose.

But you see, Anon, that arguing over this would’ve been a waste of time? Because the solo came in with the assumption that Gg and Dd were not a couple, and the counterargument was made with the assumption that they were. The pendants alone are insufficient to prove either side correct or wrong. No one knows why those pendants ended up on Gg and Dd’s necks, except Gg and Dd and their teams. If I were to argue with anon solo, we can go on and on and on until we’re both left with bitter tastes in our mouths and WWX-red in our eyes, and forget the one thing that really matters: we’re both Gg’s fans.

(We could’ve spent the time talking about how that scene in The Wolf with Ji Chong throwing Zai Xing in the water is ❤️.) (I can’t believe the script waited 30+ episodes to do it. 😂)

This leads to my second point, Anon. Candies are meant to be sweet, and they’re meant to be sweet for you. In Chinese, a term for an expert candy person is a 嗑學家 (the candy-eating in CP fandoms is called 嗑糖 (ketang) ～ with 嗑 ke denoting a specific form of eating that requires breaking something open first with teeth—such as watermelon seeds; a 嗑學家 is a 嗑 (ke)-ologist). A 嗑學家 isn’t someone who can recall the longest list of candies, or spread the most candies around, or convince the most people that the CP behind the candies is real; they are those who can find their own candies in a source material, and be overjoyed by the sweetness of their discoveries without outside help. To me, at least, this term encapsulates the subjective nature of candies ~ what’s right for you may not be right for me and vice versa, and that’s perfectly all right. In other words, there are many candies out there but you’re not required to believe in all of them; instead, you’re free to choose candies to your own liking, compose your own version of the BJYX canon that you love, that you find sweet.

Wait, but you may say. Doesn’t that make my canon fantasy? Yes and no, because candies are based on real events. They’re interpretations, which sit somewhere between reality and fantasy. They’re like … opinion shows on news channels.

But what if I need to convince people of my canon —

Your “opposition”’s canon is as fantastical, and as real as yours — maybe it isn’t, but neither of you have a way to prove it one way or another.

Wouldn’t solos call me delulu, or clowns?

Maybe. But one step outside the fandom, and all of us fans—solo and cpfs—are delulu, clowns.

(That’s why while I’ve used the cpn label, I haven’t called myself delulu, or a clown. Anyone who thinks I have the truth about the love story about a pair of idol I haven’t met from thousands of miles away … the joke’s probably on them, don’t you think?)

Of course and again, Anon, this is only my take! I like candies precisely because I like to watch the real-time generation of candies, which ones different people claim as their own, which candies fall away and which stick around in the fandom over time. As a fic writer, this ship has gifted me with a treasure trove of information ~ what do people think of as romantic gestures, as give-away signs of love? The fun/amazing part of BJYX is that candies are available for so many different answers to these questions. Some people think of longing gazes and sweet smiles; some think of touches that can’t be helped (the many, many, many “fights”); some think of service (buying foods, designing clothes); some think of caring about the other’s well-being (throat candies and dumplings + noodles + crackers); some think of being The Other’s One and Only Exception (Dd being so talkative around Gg, Gg being so … fussy around Dd); some think of expressions through the arts (songs, drawings, dances); some think of grand gestures (the wave heart in the ocean); some think of matching clothes and symbolic accessories (rings); some think of birthdays and anniversaries (314, 622, the first snow); some think of sharing life’s hassles and small tidbits (fake rumour house); some think of … just looking VERY good together. Etc etc.

Some think of a subset of these, some think of all of these…

(Personally, I’m a very picky candy eater. I know about many of them, but only a small fraction impresses on me.)

(Still, I love watching candies. I love watching the joy of people sweetened by them ~ or, when c-turtles exclaim kswl! — the short form of ke si wo le! 嗑死我了! I “ke”ed so much I’m dying!)

This gets to 3), Anon, and I apologise to you too, for answering your not-essay-at-all with an essay! Candies are, to me, treats, and I don’t expect them to come at any frequencies higher than treats do. The reason isn’t because I don’t like candies ~ I enjoy watching them, as I said, even if I don’t eat many of them; the reason is because I don’t expect anyone’s romantic love to leave a trace in everything they do. For example, if I truly find myself in a SZD/SJD discussion re: Gg’s drawing, I’d say the lack of Dd in Gg’s self-portrait doesn’t really mean much. Even if Gg and Dd were head-over-heels in love with one another, Gg doesn’t have to put Dd in everything he touches. Likewise, Dd doesn’t have to present a consistent, or decipherable story with his kadians. This is true for the real-life couples around us too, isn’t it? They don’t perform every single act in life leaving a noticeable trace of their significant other. And the misunderstanding that couples do that — that their romantic lives take over who they are as individuals — IMO, partially explains why people who choose to not to date or marry, people who’re aro-aces, often have a difficult time convincing others that they’re complete humans. Romantic love is, of course, very, very important and can be life altering, but it also isn’t everything about a person ~ especially not if a person who has a career as exciting as Gg’s and Dd’s. Gg and Dd who also have friends, family, (many) talents and interests …

(And lots of ugly icons on their cell phones. Yes, I’m talking about you, Gg. That long-armed Pepe from your 2018 snowless Beijing post will give me nightmares…)

#pie metas #pie answers #yizhan #BJYX

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freddieofhearts · 4 years ago

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Bye bye, dears (for now!)

I know there have been a lot of rumours and some posts about me leaving, so here I am to set the record straight and say a quick ‘au revoir’. This post is long, and I don’t expect everyone to read the whole thing—if you just want information on how to keep in touch, or about access to my removed fics, scroll to the bottom. ⬇️

Why are you leaving?

Firstly, of course I’m not leaving Freddie. This is just an ongoing hiatus from the social side of fandom, because while I have some incredible friends here, who have done all they can to support me and have made this experience wonderful in lots of ways—it’s also true that the social space has become more and more toxic for me.

I get a wild amount of hate. Despite never having my ask box enabled on here, people create new accounts just to message me and tell me all the problems in this fandom are my fault, that I’m faking being sick, that I should kill myself, that I’m fat, etc. I also very regularly get hateful comments on AO3.

Obviously I realise that I’m not the only one who receives these cruel attacks, but it’s become increasingly hard to handle them—especially as some people (‘real’ accounts, not faceless anons) do continue to blame me for wider problems in the fandom. It makes me feel consistently sad, anxious, and paranoid, so that I can’t focus on anything Queen-related that I enjoy.

More pressingly, it’s affected my mental health, which is—imperfect at the best of times. As I’ve occasionally alluded to in older posts on this blog, I have a history of anorexia, OCD, PTSD, and some other overlapping issues. Most people who know me in the fandom are also aware that I’m ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’ to Covid-19, significantly immunocompromised, and have been isolating at home for eleven months.

The combination of all of these things + the constant toxic messages has really been triggering me, and leading to an uptick in disordered behaviours, which my body cannot sustain. Every new instance of hate from an anon—every time there’s another indication of groups in the fandom wanting to ostracise me further—my reaction is deeply self-punitive and unhealthy. Ultimately I need to be out of this environment for, at least, a protracted period. My therapist, my partner and my close friends in the fandom support this decision.

So, what went wrong?

In 2019, I expected to be an absolutely tiny blog in the Queen Tumblr landscape. The fandom was already well-established, and I have never worked to ‘build a following’ on here—I think I’ve linked my own fic a maximum of three or four times!—in fact, more or less the opposite. As I mentioned above: ya girl is nutty as a fruitcake. As a result, I often avoid extremely niche things in daily life which cause severe anxiety for me, Relevant examples here: I never look at my timeline. I never intentionally look at my follower number. Yup, it’s strange, I fully admit it, but it’s best for me to go with these things—usually. In Queen fandom, however, this avoidance both of analytic stats and of most direct engagement led to some problems... My followers grew without me realising, and way more people were reading my blog than I was aware of. I was still in a—“Wow, this fandom is very frustrating, and rife with ableism, racism, etc., so how do we fix this???”—mindset, and I wanted to share my opinions, sure! but I also thought I was sharing them with 15-20 like-minded people.

Now, intent is not impact, and I recognise that I was brusque, didn’t phrase things particularly sensitively, and absolutely did hurt some people by criticising the fandom so freely. I still regret this—and I regret just as much the fact that some assholes have used my criticising the fandom on my own blog as implicit justification for attacking authors. I have said on here many times that I don’t condone that behaviour—but I also think there’s some truth in the presumption that these anonymous malcontents felt my critiques somehow ‘permitted’ them to engage in abuse. For the first few months, though, I genuinely had no idea there was a link at all—and so I was initially slow to condemn this abusive behaviour in public, because I was taking it for granted all authors agreed it was shitty. It took someone directly telling me (shoutout to @a-froger-epic) that people had identified a connection between my posts and the anons, before everything fell into place.

I would like to offer my apologies to the fandom at large for not being more quick on the uptake about this, because I feel that had I realised sooner that these people were taking ‘inspiration’ in some way from me, it might have been easier to put a stop to it. It does seem that there is still a lot of confusion about whether I support them and which of their views I agree with. Let’s be 100% clear on this: I do not support the anonymous commenters on AO3. At times there is some, limited overlap between parts of their views and parts of mine, but even that is less than you may think—I often see anonymous comments from so-called ‘Freddie fans’ that I substantially disagree with.

Perhaps even more importantly: I do not support anyone who sends anonymous hate on Tumblr.

What’s all this about ‘overlap’ with the anons?

Let’s do a mini-summary of the myths vs. the truth. There are views I hold which are genuinely unpopular in the fandom—but which I own up to completely, and have never tried to hide in any way. I’ve never needed to use anonymous to share my opinions because I’m completely open about them! What people who don’t know me tend to have ‘heard’ about me, though, is usually a drastic distortion of my real opinions.

What people think I think:

- Freddie should never top.

- It’s okay to send anon hate if someone writes Freddie ‘wrong’.

- It’s more important to correct ‘wrong’ portrayals than to respect other writers.

- It’s inherently wrong to be more interested in band pairings than canon pairings.

- Freddie should be overtly written as a r*pe survivor/victim (and not doing this is wrong).

- Freddie should be overtly written as having an eating disorder (and not doing this is wrong).

- Kink fics are wrong.

What I actually think:

- I believe Freddie did have a strongly defined sexual identity with marked preferences, but I don’t think Jim Hutton lied when he said that Freddie topped. I believe Freddie did top, but this isn’t the time or place to get into my thoughts on why/when/how much. I do believe that my analysis of the sources relevant to this subject is as historically accurate as one can reasonably be in matters of sex (where historical accuracy will always be particularly limited and imperfect)—but I don’t think it’s morally wrong to write Freddie as topping more than he probably did.

- I don’t believe there’s only one ‘right’ version of Freddie (all others being ‘wrong’). I do believe it is possible to be more right or less right—but I’m also conscious of the fact that this scale of value is not one by which everyone measures fanfiction. As a result, then, I don’t think that any perceptions surrounding ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ justify sending anonymous, non-constructive criticism, or outright hate.

- I do believe constructive criticism is a good thing. I welcome and appreciate it myself; I have received it on my fics in Queen fandom, and it has made them better. I have been in writing workshops which included very forceful criticisms, and the value of such feedback has been intimately and immediately part of my life as a writer for years. However: in this case, I have accepted that my opinion differs from the general community preference, and so I no longer offer any constructive criticism (outside private beta-reading). I haven’t changed my view, but I’ve changed my practice to align with community norms.

- I do not think any single, individual writer has a personal responsibility to write about Freddie Mercury in any given way. That ranges from including the more distressing topics to which I’ve devoted attention (such as trauma)—to concentrating on ‘canon’ pairings like Jimercury—to, even, focusing on Freddie at all.

“Now, that doesn’t sound like you, @freddieofhearts,” you might be thinking. And I know it doesn’t; I think something I’ve done a poor job of articulating is the difference between how I view each individual fan—namely, as free to shape their creative experience at will, even in ways that I might find distressing or offensive; even in ways that you might find distressing or offensive—and the way I view the Collective. I think people have interpreted some of my critiques of ‘Queen Fandom’ as meaning something like: “You-in-particular, a specific Queen fan, are doing it wrong and should change everything about how you do it; also you don’t really care about Freddie.”

And—that’s not it. What any given fan, as an individual, does, isn’t a problem. And that can be true alongside—concurrently with—a multivalent critique of how the fandom is lacking in representation of Freddie’s life, with all that that (wonderful, deservedly celebrated, but also profoundly traumatic) life entailed. I still hold that view; I still have myriad problems with ‘the fandom’ (structurally, collectively, historically and presently—from the 1990s to the 2020s). Some of what I want to work on (away from the social life of fandom) is expressing those critiques with greater nuance, in ways that can’t be misinterpreted as shading any particular fanfiction author or subgenre of story.

In brief: I haven’t changed my mind, but I think Tumblr is an untenable environment in which to discuss the things I want to analyse, especially as there is an ever-present danger of hurting someone.

Can we keep in touch? Where is the fic?

I will drop by this account periodically to check out posts that friends have sent me, so you can always sent me a private message to ask for my contact details on the other app that I’m using now for fandom friends. Multiple Freddie conversations and projects are going on over there, off-Tumblr, with a much ‘gentler’ environment and no bad actors—I personally love it!

All my fic has been downloaded and saved. I don’t want to deal with constant harassment on AO3, but I’m happy to share a copy with anyone who missed it and wants to read/re-read something. I also saved everyone’s lovely comments and thoughtful con-crit, so none of that has been lost or erased.

Thank you to everyone who welcomed me to the fandom, made me think, taught me, shared with me, sent me into fits of the giggles, collaborated with me creatively, and otherwise made this one hell of a ride! Love you all. ❤️

#au revoir my dears #lil gay bby

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writebecauseyoucannotbreathe · 4 years ago

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You’re blog is just generally amazing! Ig the hate comes with being know for shipping a rare pair. I would say ignore it for now because the people who love your incorrect quotes and memes are greater in number. Keep doing what your doing!

This was so sweet ( ꈍᴗꈍ) . I am ignoring the hate, been meaning to transfer stuff to ao3 regardless of drama to have it archived, and the hate is not direct but it's...how do I describe it...straining. The atla fandom is not welcoming imho and that's why you may notice a lot of blogs leaving or decreasing activity. More on that under the cut because it's long and tedious.

Users: If you make a headcanon or post that goes against the grain aka doesn't praise the opinions of a BNF (Big Name Fan: a tumblr blogger with a large amount of followers and a strong media presence in their respective fandoms) then you will be shunned. The BNF may make a post or a blacklist and their followers will blindly obey them without fact checking which can result in you getting banned from blogs you never interacted with, shadow banned, sent anon hate, or trashtalked in a group chat. Yes, really.

This fandom blacklist can be based on the pettiest things and are more often than not completely false. I don't know why tumblr users think popularity = trustworthiness it's an issue especially when the accusations are as heavy as they are false. There's a reason why even the most factual and thoroughly sourced Tumblr post will never be put on a resume & why credentials are never posted (fun fact, everyone can have a phd on the internet) because Tumblr is not the right medium for this sort of stuff.

Artists: Depending on the pairing and the whims of the fandom you can be accused of pedophilia, racism, etc.

**Note: If you are a minor and you truly believe that a sect of the fandom are pedophiles then do not interact with them and loudly declare you are a minor. THAT IS STUPID DANGEROUS. Interacting includes doing anything from venting in tumblr group chats (everyone can see them without joining, group chats are incredibly dangerous for minors, screenshots can be taken, etc.) or making public (if its on your blog its public) blocklists. **

The accusations are usually false or exaggerated. Especially if you draw art of a pairing. Any pairing. Your art will also be reposted to other sites without credit and you'll receive comments like "ewww why does this pairing have such good art" which is really bad for self esteem. Furthermore, because of a fear of backlash from BNFs and their cult followers users will avoid reblogging your art (You may notice certain users only reblog from a small group of friends so much so that their blogs feel like they're run under one account) If your art receives enough backlash you will get shadow banned which results in your blog and art not showing up in search. Sometimes your art won't show up in the tags as a common tumblr bug.

Writers: Oh boy where do I begin. I made a tumblr to get more hits on my fanfics and a BNF accused me of plagiarism and identified my ao3 fic by title and username. On Tumblr. Instead of going into detail about how baseless the claim is I'll point out that AO3 has a report plagiarism feature but they can't do anything about offsite harassment.

Your fanfics can be accused of plagiarism but they can also be accused of racism, sexism, etc. Regardless of the validity of the claims, targeting the users for a free work is terrible especially when it's done offsite and can take many forms (such as anon hate). If you believe a work to be problematic, leave a comment or review on the work instead detailing your misgivings.

On that note, a lot of atla discussion posts receive similar treatment. People have different views and headcanons and interpretations of a work but instead of agreeing to disagree or blocking, users will signal to their friends and followers to blacklist a blog for the following xyz reasons and these reasons are not only incendiary and subject to interpretation, but they're used as a justification for anon hate and death threats.

It's a stressful time all around.

#asks #atla fandom crit #fandom critical #a:tla fandom #atla fandom critical #atla salt #atla fandom salt #atla fandom problems

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nostuntmanneeded · 4 years ago

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Tipline/Inbox Guidelines

The time has come, folks!

I have completed and posted all of the big sections, so now it’s time for me to finally get to answering the questions I have in my tips inbox.

I will start answering questions tomorrow, as it’s been a rough couple of days with schoolwork. (Finals week starts tomorrow, so I’ve been studying, writing papers and working on projects all weekend.)

Here’s some general guidelines for submitting tips:

Please respect the admin: This is the NUMBER ONE RULE. I will not accept any hate, threats or any disrespectful comments. This will lead to an automatic delete or block from yours truly. I have no problem with people expressing their own opinions that may be different than mine, but please understand that I have my opinions as well and they should be respected too. Whether you’re “Team PR” or “Team Real,” we all have our theories and personal views on the relationship. If you’re respectful of my views, I’ll do the same. That’s what being a decent human being looks like.

Feel free to broaden the topic: Yes, my page is more for Sebastian and Alejandra’s relationship, but I am also open to talking about other celebrities (if I know enough about them and their situation). I am also very open to talking about my experiences in journalism, and the relationship between PR and journalism. Actually, it’s encouraged for you to ask about it. I love being able to talk about what I am studying, what I do currently and what I wish to do in the future. And to be honest, that’s what this blog is all about — giving you my analysis of a relationship from a different perspective.

Requesting sections: Even though I’m “finished” with the big sections, I am still open to writing more and adding to that list in my pinned “Welcome” post. If you have a topic that you’d like me to discuss in an actual post, and you think it would be a great addition to the list, let me know.

Repeating questions: If there is a hot topic of discussion going around, and I receive a lot of tips in my inbox in regards to that topic, I will most likely answer only one of the tips. Treat it like an FAQ (frequently asked questions) type deal.

Unanswered questions: Since I’m finished with posting the big sections in my list, I will be answering and responding to tips more regularly. If I happen to not answer your question within 48 hours, I most likely didn’t receive it or I accidentally deleted it. If that happens, please (respectfully) re-submit your question. (Also, please look at the previous bullet point, as that may be a reason as to why your question wasn’t answered.)

Opening and closing the inbox: This page only has one admin. Remember that I am a human being and I have priorities in life that are more important than this blog. If I get an overwhelming number of tips in my inbox, I will close it for a period of time so I can focus on the tips that I need to respond to. If I know I won’t get to my inbox within a day, I will send out a post with my reasoning and when I will most likely get to responding, so check my page periodically for those updates.

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ronanvespertine · 4 years ago

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I think I lean more about a person from their view of Hawks than I do about Hawks XD because one inevitably reveals their personal sense of justice in the discussion, in laying down what lines he crossed and where. Everyone’s lines are different. And also what they think should happen to him after his to make things fair, good things or bad things or neutral things. It’s a weird kind of study almost ^_^

OH MY GOD, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE!!! XD

You explained it so well. I feel like our sense of justice/morals gets projected onto what we think of Hawks. And since our justice/morals are a really personal thing that we all believe strongly in, everyone has varying reactions to other people’s versions of Hawks. Additionally, I feel like our own histories and philosophies get mixed in with Hawks. My history and beliefs definitely influence everything I write, and they especially influence how I characterize the characters.

If I were to summarize what my version of Hawks is, I think of Hawks as someone who hopelessly gives his whole self to the world because he wants to bring everyone a better world. As for what Hawks thinks of Endeavor, I think Hawks looks up to him because Endeavor gave him some kind of hope in a hopeless world. And he wanted to be that kind of icon for others, because that hope Endeavor gave to him meant so much. So he wanted to pay it forward and help other people.

But giving everything you have to the world is exhausting. And it’s just not realistic or reasonable. Regardless of how selfless someone is, people run out of things to give. Because they HAVE to keep something for himself. Hawks had gone his whole life giving his everything to everyone else, that he’s starting to reach the point where he’s hitting the bottom of the barrel. And he’s either going to lose himself, break from the weight of his resolve, or finally realize that he deserves to take care of himself, too. That even if he gives everything to the world, there’s only so much he can do.

(I’ll probably evolve my version of Hawks as we learn more about him. Even now, I’m not entirely sure if this is really Hawks hahaha!)

All of that is really reflective of my own history. I had a strong resolve, but I broke from the weight of it. I want to give good things to the world because some people supported me in strong, meaningful ways and I’m so grateful to them and want to repay that by doing the same kindness to others. While struggling with myself, I slowly realized that I deserve selfish things in life and that I don’t need to give myself away for the benefit of others. There’s only so much I can do, and sacrificing myself will just bring misery and negate the effects of what I’m doing. So all we can really do is our best, give as much good as we reasonably can to the world while keeping ourselves whole and healthy because we deserve to be put-together and happy so we can keep going and make an impact on other people’s lives.

If we were going to analyze other people’s versions of Hawks, I find a lot of interest in seeing where they put the concepts of self-worth and forgiveness. What kind of action should Hawks take if he were to care more about himself and what he wanted? Some people think he’d join the League. Others think he’d continue to be a hero. Still others think he’d retire altogether and step away from it all.

And as for forgiveness, there are a lot of different perspectives, too. Some may think Hawks would lose all respect for Endeavor after finding out about the Todoroki drama. Others believe Hawks would continue to believe in Endeavor’s perseverance and expect him to support his atonement. Still others think it would hit personally for Hawks and he’d feel betrayed to find out Endeavor was not only the complete opposite of what he thought he was, but the very embodiment of what Hawks was “saved” from. (stemming from the theory he was abused as a child, though that’s only a theory for now) And a good amount of people think Hawks’ image of Endeavor would just lose it’s idealized sheen and he’d start looking at Endeavor as a flawed human being like the rest of them.

There are also the many different concepts of freedom for Hawks. My concept of freedom is Hawks’ ability to choose. While he is bound by duty and resolve, he still has the power of choice. I just think he doesn’t realize that. For others, Hawks’ freedom is not having wings and thus no longer being bound by duty or the HPSC or whoever/whatever they think chains him. Maybe some people might think his freedom is the opportunity to be a hero, to be able to influence the world with his actions when he might’ve been powerless before. (That’s also something I kind of believe in.) And again, maybe some people think retirement will be his freedom, and maybe some think he’ll never be free. And, of course, there’s the popular thought of Hawks becoming free from the HPSC. And for those who like Hawks with the LOV, their concept of freedom may either be him fighting back against the system as a villain or throwing it all away to become Keigo again. (I’m not really informed on the LOV side of things hehe)

I think this is a really interesting thing to explore, so I’m gonna tag some people and give them the opportunity to give their thoughts as well. Of course, you’re not obligated to. You can just ignore this if you’re not up for comment. You’re welcome to tag some other people, too, if you feel like they’d want to talk further. I could tag a whole bunch of people, but I don’t really know those blogs well, sooo.... XD

@officially-dumb @scarletrain1724 @prince-liest @transhawks (I could tag more, but I either don’t know those people well or I think they hate me LMFAO)

ALSO! If you want to comment on this, feel free! I like hearing everyone’s thoughts and opinions! most of the time lmfao jk jk i love you all

#ronan answers #bnha hawks #takami keigo #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #manga spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #mha manga spoilers #hopefully the read more works yikes #anon

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sleepymarmot · 4 years ago

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Re-liveblog: eps. 4 & 10

Here's something I've been planning to do for a while -- rereading the liveblog of The Untamed I wrote a couple of months ago and looking at my own initial reactions to Jin Guangyao's storyline with new eyes. Returning to old liveblogs is always fun, but particularly when the perspective on something changes so much by the end of the story!

Of course, this turned into a monstrosity with word count in thousands that sat in my drafts for about a month, and involved rewatching most of the scenes the liveblog mentioned, and some that it didn't. Please be warned: this series of posts is not meant to be a comprehensive analysis, and will jump from one point to another or highlight only the things I have changed my mind about, or haven’t talked on this blog before. It is going to include some very personal interpretations and opinions, sometimes possibly (or definitely, in the case of this very post) unpopular or negative. I am here to reflect on my own experience of watching the show almost as much as to write meta about the show itself.

[All re-liveblog posts]

[ep 4]

is this shy illegitimate son the same person who summoned WWX in the first episode, or are they two entirely unrelated bastards? I don’t think the ages match up…

Oh, so that's what I was thinking during Meng Yao's introduction scene: trying to figure out whether he was the same person as Mo Xuanyu or not. That's funny.

[negativity ahead!]

Of course, I was also admiring Xichen's elegant way of Using His Privilege For Good, but I thought that was self-explanatory enough not to put in the liveblog. It didn’t occur to me this scene could be interpreted as a sect leader openly hitting on a disadvantaged youth, or that such an interpretation would be popular, especially in a literal and positive way as opposed to a dark or subversive headcanon. So even if this is ever confirmed to be an intended message of the scene, I’d just say “I recognize the council has made a decision...” and continue to disregard it. Kind of incredible how it manages to squick me in at least five ways -- and xiayo is one of my main ships in this fandom! And not only squick -- in my eyes, sexualizing LXC’s intentions in this scene not only adds something that I don’t like, but actively detracts from the textual, surface meaning and narrative function of LXC’s actions (establishing LXC as a Model Authority Figure who masterfully manipulates the social power dynamics not for self-interest, but for justice, kindness, and peaceful conflict resolution; see also the following scene with the Wens). And from the other side, I think Meng Yao is shocked and impressed specifically because someone like LXC would do this for someone like him without an ulterior motive; I suspect that if he saw this as LXC making an excuse to touch someone attractive, he would only be turned off: a sect leader who can’t keep his hands to himself is nothing new and nothing good from the point of view of JGS’s illegitimate child.

But if this brief brushing of hands holds any in-universe significance in addition to a possible foreshadowing of this relationship’s future importance -- I think I just finally realized what it must be! This interaction is an adaptation of the following scene from the book (which, to be fair, happens when MY and LXC already know each other, not during a first meeting):

Meng Yao had been a famous joke for a certain period of time, which was why a few recognized him. Likely thinking that the son of a prostitute perhaps also carried some unclean things with him, the cultivators didn’t drink from the cups that he had presented with both hands. Instead, they put the cups to the side and even took out white handkerchiefs. As though it felt too uncomfortable, they repeatedly wiped the fingers that they’d touched the teacup with, either intentionally or not. Nie MingJue wasn’t someone mindful to such things. Wei WuXian, though, caught sight of this through the corners of his eyes. Meng Yao acted as if he didn’t see anything, his smile unfaltering as he continued to pass around tea.

As Lan XiChen accepted his cup, he looked up at him and smiled, “Thank you.”

He drank a sip of the tea immediately afterward. Only then did he continue to converse with Nie MingJue. A few cultivators began to feel uneasy as they saw the scene.

(Chapter 48)

So CQL!Meng Yao’s eyebrows twitch in pleased surprise because the sect leader not only personally approached to verbally support him, but took something directly from his hands, not even trying to avoid him or flinching at skin contact. As if it didn’t even occur to the majestic Zewu-jun to think of Meng Yao as dirty or disgusting.

I don’t know if this is an intended interpretation either, because I don’t remember anyone specifically avoiding physical contact with MY in the show, and on the contrary, there were examples of both friendly (from Huaisang) and unfriendly (from the commander) touch. But I certainly prefer it to the other interpretation, and ignoring the interaction altogether seems a bit intellectually dishonest.

[/negativity]

On another note, much is said about JGY’s performativity, but check out LXC’s! Someone’s being bullied in his classroom? Not on his watch! Time to descend from his pedestal like truth coming out of her well, Very Pointedly and at length explain how this person Has His Official And Personal Approval And Is Very Welcome Here, then take the gift from him personally instead of letting a disciple do that. Note how in the following scene, he also personally accepts the gift from Wen Qing as a peacemaking gesture. I love how LXC’s character establishing event is about defusing not one but two uncomfortable situations in a row. Of the two brothers, all social skills went to him...

I have no comment on the goodbye scene. Just sadness.

Oh wait, after rewatching the entire show and coming back to the post, I do have something to say. This episode is the only time I can say with all certainty that all of Meng Yao’s words and reactions are fully sincere. After this point in the timeline, it will never happen again. :(

It’s a shame that the gifs I’ve seen of this scene end with the iconic stopped bow, because the final shots are also great! As soon as MY turns away, his face becomes clouded again, and seconds after the Sect Leader himself held his arms and assured they were peers, he felt the need to bow and lower his eyes as some unnamed disciples walked by. And the bitter look he sends after them tells the viewer how much he is aware of falling from the dreamland where a nobleman would compliment him like three times within three minutes, back to the regular life where it is better not to be noticed at all. Meanwhile, Xichen looks him in the back like “I want it to grow strong and healthy, I want to tell my friends and neighbors about it”.

[ep 10]

Alright, when 10 minutes ago I thought “Meng Yao, sweetie, kill that clown”, this is not what I had in mind

SOMEBODY GIVE MENG YAO A HUG (after some emergency medical care) HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE. Can Xichen adopt him now?

Ah, the joys of the first viewing.

At this point, I was thinking of both Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue exclusively as of father figures for Meng Yao. For LXC I think I slowly started to notice the romantic tension later but made a complete flip to the romantic interpretation only during the "late light talks... no sign of curse on his body" conversation. For NMJ it was during the head flashback. And as much as I like these pairings, it does feel like a loss that their existence displaces the very different pseudo-family dynamic. I think a story in which NMJ, LXC, WRH and JGS are all openly presented as competing father figures would be interesting; has anyone written that?

On rewatch, I was outraged by all of the blatant manipulation that I bought completely on the first viewing. MY is very good at playing a wounded bird -- especially when he's literally wounded. I had wondered why he just limped away without treating it, but now it's obvious he is using Stoic Suffering to invoke pity and admiration. Just like, a few minutes earlier, he showed NMJ that he was ready to be struck down, and it saved his life. He tells NHS with a sad but brave face “I won't be able to take care of you anymore” and on first viewing it worked on me just as he intended -- I thought “Poor boy, so trained to serve, he puts his duty to others above his own feelings even in this situation”. Ha...

And NMJ is only helping his case. He had the chance to explain everything and share the truth of MY's actions. And in the novel, he does take this chance, retelling the incident to Xichen (who chooses to turn a blind eye). Instead, NMJ basically confirms MY’s narrative: by hiding the reason for the exile, he makes it seem like there was no respectable reason at all. NMJ, all by himself, makes himself look like an irrational tyrant, and MY like a victim of an arbitrariness. And he does it in front of Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, no less -- an heir to a major clan and his brother! By trying not to discuss internal problems with outsiders, he achieves an opposite effect. Luckily for him, JC and WWX don't give a shit... But imagine how different the plot would be if they had this information from the start?

What I still don't understand is -- what was Meng Yao’s plan in this episode? Who was he working for? Who was his accomplice, whose feet we saw in the later flasback -- surely not Xue Yang himself, he’s supposed to be under arrest! Was he working with the Jin secretly already? (I don’t think so: in a later scene, JGS asks him about this incident, seemingly ignorant.) Or with the Wen (I don't remember -- did Xue Yang go back to the Wen afterwards)? Or just with Xue Yang directly, setting him completely free just on the promise of future cooperation? This seems most plausible -- but to risk and lose everything over such an uncertain gamble doesn’t make MY look very smart.

I have some other things to say about the events of this episode, but they’ll be in the post about the flashbacks in episode 41.

#the untamed #jin guangyao #lan xichen #nie mingjue #blah blah blah #jgyreliveblog #starting with a risky one likely to alienate most of potential readers

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zaraevee · 5 years ago

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Just saw Rise of Skywalker!

I’m normally pretty bad with spoilers but I managed to keep away from them for this movie and only saw the trailers. Before I continue, you need to know, according to my friends I am “easily entertained” by movies, because I am so optimistic and don’t raise my expectations too high, so I am often happily surprised. I loved this movie. So if you were not a fan, feel free to skip this post. May the force be with you.

(Can someone PLEASE tell me how to do under the cut/read more on mobile Tumblr I can’t figure it out!)

I have a tendency to be long winded so i’m writing bullet points instead of paragraphs. You’re welcome.

-I have always been a fan of Ben Solo. I waited for him for nearly five years and I am so incredibly happy that he finally became who he was meant to be and walked into the light. I especially enjoyed the moment when Rey healed him and he saw Han Solo again. That was such a sweet scene and such a strong parallel. His fight against Palpatine alongside Rey, especially the lightsaber swap made me very excited.

- I also really liked the detail that his scar disappeared and his eyes took on a much softer look after he became Ben Solo again.

- His death scene was very emotional and to me it symbolized how much he had changed as a person. Going into this, I was worried he would be killed in anger and cold blood. I am very very glad he went out by his own selfless choice, a sort of way to atone for all the things he did as Kylo Ren.

- I have never been a true Reylo shipper but I have always enjoyed watching their relationship, a mix of familial and romantic, develop. So the paralleled saving each other and the kiss made me very happy and for a moment, I could actually see them together in the future. Of course, that didn’t last but I was happy with the closure.

- Also him fading away like a jedi, along with his mother, was a great way to finally give him peace.

- On another note: I was so happy with how much Carrie Fisher was in this movie and how well her scenes flowed with it. I knew they had used old footage and I was worried it would be choppy and only expected her to have a small part, only one small scene with Rey, But was really amazed and happy with how integral she was to the plot and happy with how they sent off Leia, peacefully. I’m so happy they gave Carrie such a great last role.

On lighter notes:

- What they did with C3P0 was cool and sad and I did not expect him to be restored, but i’m really glad he was. Especially with his reference to R2’s unreliable memory banks, I should have seen it coming. It made me realize again how important to the series C3P0 is. He is probably the oldest alive character in the series and he has been in every main movie.

- I adore Poe Dameron and I love the leading role he had in this and how much his character has developed. I never expected to get his backstory from befor he joined the resistance but i’m glad we did. He turned out to have a more colorful past than I expected. Also he was very attractive in the outfits he wore in this movie.

- Finn meeting another former storm trooper was amazing and I’m really glad they did that.

- Also, I have always been a FinnRey fan. I have always thought Finn’s affections for Rey were obvious, but I just read that apparently when he was sinking in the quicksand, accordint to J.J., that is not what Finn was going to tell Rey. J.J. Abrams apparently said he was going to tell Rey he was force sensitive but I don’t quite understand or agree with that... I totally accept that he is force sensitive! There have been hints in all three movies. But I don’t know why he would tell Rey that right before he thought he was going to die. What would he have gained? It doesn’t quite make sense to me. I would be interested in finding out how other script writers of the movie saw that scene. J.J. did say he left it open for interpretation though, so each viewer is allowed to see it whichever way they want. Any way you see that scene, I am glad they never had him tell her what he was going to say, as Finn knew what Rey was going through and he respected her too much to put another thing on her mind.

- One thing I wish they would have done would be having all the ghosts of all the past Jedi stand behind Rey when she got up and faced Palpatine. That would have been really cool. But I understand it probably wasn’t doable.

-The only other thing that confused me a little was General Hux being the spy. It felt like it came a little out of left field and I am not quite sure what his motives were. He said he just didn’t want to Kylo to win but it was not elaborated on. Maybe in the previous movies, there were hints he was not entirely on board with what Kylo was doing, but I never picked up on them before. I was delighted by the twist, I would just appreciate a more in depth explanation.

Speaking of twists,

- Personally, I loved the twist that Rey is a Palpatine. I don’t think many, if anyone, predicted that. It was an amazing parallel to the original trilogy, as Luke was also the son of a Sith Lord and just like him, Rey overcame her bloodties and chose the light side.

-The Skywalkers being her chosen family made me extremely happy and that last scene where she visited Luke’s childhood home on Jakku, embraced the name Skywalker and mirrored Luke’s iconic shot with the twin suns, when the whole adventure all began was the perfect ending.

This is Star Wars, and a movie made by people. There will be mistakes, nothing in the world is perfect.

And especially evidenced by the original movie and its behind the scenes development, Star Wars has never been without fault. 😅

There are so many other amazing and fun things I wish I had the words to talk about, but I’ll probably need a while to think about the movie and I’ll probably need to go see it again.

I know a lot of people didn’t like this movie. I know some people were mad about how characters died or how it ended. I know for a fact, that many people set their expectations too high, and that was their fault. Not the fault of the people who worked so incredibly hard on this movie.

I didn’t let a few things change how I felt about it. I never let the negatives take over my view of a movie because when you let small things grow like that, it takes away the fun and awe of the experience.

Let yourself see things with a childlike optemism and openmindedness and you will be a lot happier with the results. 😊

Hi! If you read this thing the whole way through, thank you for listening to me and my opinions! I hope you enjoyed the movie as much as I did. If you have anything to add or comments or would like to start a discussion with me, feel free to comment on this post! I would love to hear from you! But let’s keep this post FRIENDLY AND RESPECTFUL please! Thank you very much. May the force be with you!

- Zara Evee 💕

#rise of skywalker #rise of skywaker spoilers #star wars #tros spoilers #reylo fandom #rey skywalker #rey palpatine #kylo ren #kylo redemption #poe dameron #finnrey #finn star wars #c3p0 #han solo #luke skywalker

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littlemisssquiggles · 5 years ago

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You know this has been bothering me for a while now... How do you feel about people dropping the show? I mean, I'm currently not that close anymore and I am willing to give Volume 7 another chance (but I keep my expectations veeeery low since I am so tired of being disappointed like I was with Volume 6 - it started out good and I really much liked the two Apathy episodes, even though they had narrative weaknesses in my opinion), also thanks to you. I just want to know what you think about it.

Hello again Mizu! Firstly, let me apologize for taking so long to respond. I’mbacklogged on questions to answer in my inbox so I’m slowly working my waythrough them. Secondly pleased to hear you’ve decided to give the new season achance.

To be honest with you fam, I honestly have nothing against folks who wish to drop RWBY. As I’vebeen telling you before, folks are entitled to feel the way they feel---be itgood, bad or indifferent.

Basically what I’m saying is, I understand that everyone’s viewson RWBY aren’t the same and I respect that. I respect the fact that there arefolks who are genuinely loyal to the series and will continue to support it tothe very end, just as much as I acknowledge and respect the views of the folkswho are genuinely disappointed with the series or rather, they’re disappointedwith the direction in which the series has changed since V3---the last seasonits original creator---Monty worked on, I believe, before he sadly passed away.

When it comes to indulging in media, myideology stands as this: if you’ve come to a point where you’re watching apiece of media that you used to indulge in but the overall positivefeelings--- love, joy and entertainment--- you once felt for it when you firststarted is no longer there, then you’re more than welcome to drop it if you sodesire.

Or you can take a break from it and come back later. Heck you can evendrop it but still remain a part of its FNDM, not necessarily following the showanymore but still enjoying other things like fanart and fanfic. No one is atfault for wishing to stop watching a series they once loved nor are they atfault for wanting to leave it/ take break from it only to come back later. Youdo you, dude.

In terms of RWBY, I’m half and half. Iunderstand why folks would wish to continue to watch the series; but at thesame time, I understand why folks would wish to drop it. The series, whilestill entertaining and enjoyable in some parts (at least to me) has admittedly madesome rather questionable choices in regards to certain aspects of the writing within therecent last arc.

Questionable choices which unfortunately left a lot of fansdisappointed. As a matter of fact, I think disappointed is an understatement.But like I said before, folks are entitled to feel the way they feel andthey’re allowed to express their feelings, thoughts and opinion if they feelthe need.

Where I may take issue with folks whodrop RWBY, however, is if they turn into one of those kindred spirits over inthe RWBY Hatedom. RWBY is the one series I know where it has a community of people who dislike the show as much as the ones who love it. And they’ve very vocal about it too.

It’s perfectly cool if you feeldissatisfied with the way things are being done with RWBY but where that becomes problematic, in my opinion, is when it turns to bitterness which then leadsto you attacking people and downright disrespecting them. This is inclusive of notjust the fans who still support RWBY but also the members of theCRWBY.

I get that people didn’t like the waythings were done with the show but that still doesn’t give you the right todisrespect the people working on it. One habit that I’m tired of seeing from theHatedom is their incessant use of throwing Monty’s name around as a means toridicule the current state of the show.

Regardless of whether or not you don’tlike the way the showrunners have written the show, you still have to show themsome level of respect. And continuing to use the name of the show’s deceasedcreator to scrutinize the efforts of the same people---some of which wereMonty’s friends and original colleagues---is just beyond disrespectful.

If I may talk about Monty here for abit, it honestly disgusts me whenever I go into forums discussing fan reviewsof RWBY and still see people leaving comments such as “Monty wouldn’t have liked this” or “You’veruined Monty’s vision” and all that jazz.

Seriously, how entitled of a fan must you be to act as if you knew Monty personally enough toimply that he wouldn’t have liked the way RWBY is now?

Who do you think will have the moral high ground in this predicament of deciding how RWBY should continue? The people whopersonally knew and worked with Monty when RWBY first started and are doing thebest they can to keep the show running? Or the so-called fans who continue towatch the series just to mock the efforts of Monty’s former friends and colleagueswhile constantly throwing his name in their faces as an insult.

You tell me.

What happened to Monty was sad and I’mmostly saying that as a longstanding fan of his. Like many RWBY fans, I didn’tknow Monty personally. I knew him mostly through his work. Monty was a creatorwho got an opportunity that most of us creatives with our our stories to tell couldonly dream of. He got a chance to bring his story to life only to unfortunatelypassed away while working on it.

It’s one thing to be disappointed withsomething you used to love but it’s another thing when your anger andresentment makes you disrespectful. It’s not cool when former fans of RWBY become people whoconstantly look for ways to talk down the show. I can sympathize with the FNDMfam members who were upset with the development of the show but where Ican’t take your side is if that dissatification leads to contempt.

I’ve said this before and I’m going torepeat it again. RWBY isNOT a flawless show. It never has been and quite frankly,it’ll probably never be as perfect as fans want it to be. But what I havelearnt is that RWBY is a show that’s much like the man who created it. It keepsmoving forward. Each season it tries to do better than the last and it shows.

I know certain parts have not been sogreat but I have to acknowledge the ones that were. I know some of usweren’t 100% pleased with how V6 turned. However, I will say this. Prior tothat season, the Writers promised that they were looking into some of the criticismsleft behind from past seasons and were working to fix him. Did they live up tothat? To quote Ozpin, in some ways yes and in other ways, no.

V6 still unfortunately suffered fromthe same issues with the writing that fans disliked back in V5. But what I willpoint out that it didn’t start off that way. I think we can all admit that thefirst half of V6 (C1 to C7) was done well. The other half….....er....not so much. Butit’s still worth noting that there is good within the bad.

This is why I personally will keepgiving the series a chance. Speaking for myself here, I’ve been on the RWBY train since thevery beginning and sink or swim, soar or crash, I’m staying on-board till thisseries reaches its final destination. Because outside of that fact that thereare still things about the show that I enjoy and love, I’m also very, verycurious to see where exactly the CRWBY Writers are taking this story of theirs.

Monty may not have been able to joinMiles and Kerry in progressing the show he made; however Miles and Kerry arecontinuing it. They are telling theirstory now in direct correlation to the onethey kicked off with Monty.

What that story is overall? How is it gonna go for future seasons and arcs andmore importantly, how is it all gonna end? Those are questions with answers I’mstill interested to know. And until the day comes when I no longer care aboutthese things with RWBY, I’m gonna stick around and try my best to enjoy the ride alongthe way---whether it cruises calmly or runs over a couple of rough patches andbumps. It’s fine. I’ve got plenty of tolerance.

I see a lot of potential for betterwriting in RWBY. I’m just patiently waiting for the season where the Writersfinally find their groove since I think they were struggling during the MistralTrilogy. RWBY isn’t perfect but it’s a show with folks who admittedly do theirbest to improve on it as the seasons go.

They may not land every time but theeffort is still worth appreciating in some sense-- well at least I know appreciate it especially when they get things right cause, contrary to what othersmight believe, not everything about RWBY is completely bad. As a matter offact, some of it is arguably not as bad as folks let it out to be. But I understand that’s amatter of opinion. Can’t honestly speak for other FNDM members. Only my squiggly self here.

Now mind you, none of the stuff I’vementioned about the RWBY Hatedom applies to you Mizu. I know we’ve only chatted once or twice between Q&A but forthe most part, you’ve been quite humble and a pleasant person to talk to.

Despite your voiced issues with the current run of RWBY, you’vemaintained a cool, respectable air about yourself and that’s great. Please keep that up. Regardless of what happens during V7. Regardless of whether youchoose to stay or go with RWBY during or after V7, do your best to remain as humble as you as much as possible. That’s basically the bottom line point I’m trying to say here.That goes for you and anyone else who’ve been feeling the same way you haveabout the show.

Just stay humble guys. Opinions can be different but still maintain that R-E-S-P-E-C-T and that goes for both sides.

And, yeah, that’s pretty all I gottasay. I hope I actually answered your question. I feel like I did. As always,feel free to let me know. In the meantime, take care.

~LittleMissSquiggles(2019)

#squiggles answers: rwby #oscar pine #rwby #mizuike #squiggles answers

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maesterkenobi · 5 years ago

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how I run my blog

Tagged by: as usual I’ve stolen it from @mynameisanakin Tagging: no one, i am too lazy and i follow like 14 people so. just do it if you want to.

SPEED: is not my forte. I try my best, but there are several factors that work against me in this aspect: 1) I’m a chronic procrastinator 2) I’m scatterbrained 3) I have more than one blog 4) I almost never write replies that are less than two paragraphs and I want it to make sense and be good and be enjoyable for my partner, so it takes time. I almost never reply the same day (MAYBE on discord, because there my replies are way shorter and it’s mostly to my best friend), and you’re lucky if I reply within a week. I really try to be faster on this blog because I made a promise to myself (and I was doing okay until the whole virus thing happened and I ran into a bunch of personal problems) AND I am keeping a low profile on this blog so it doesn’t get overwhelming. Long story short, if you are looking for a super active daily replies partner, I am not it for you. If you’re okay with waiting for a while but getting more developed stories and longer replies in turn, then we should talk :)

REPLIES: Are on the longer side on this blog. I don’t really have the patience for one liners because they tend to go nowhere and then feel like bread crumbs of randomness all over my blog. They’re okay sometimes, but more often than not they feel like crack. Writing replies is really exhausting for me sometimes, but I try to force myself because I WANT to do it, I’m just having issues concentrating on one thing at a time so it takes me forever.

STARTERS: I don’t write welcoming starters because 8 out of 10 times they get ignored or are so random that they lead nowhere. If someone writes me a welcoming starter, it depends on the content but usually I’ll try to make it work for me and reply. I don’t often like starter calls because most people write absolutely pointless starters. For example they’ll write a paragraph of explaining what their muse did all day (unrelated to my muse), then walk into some random place they’ve never been to (e.g. a shady bar) and suddenly get surprised by my muse being there, and/or, my personal favorite, say something like “what the hell do you want from me”? Which I struggle with for several reasons. One, if you create a setting but don’t bother explaining why we’re there, you put the entire weight of explaining that (aka creating the actual setting) on ME, but you add an additional complication by making it something that I didn’t come up with, so now I have to introduce a world YOU invented with 0 idea of why you chose that particular location in the first place. Second, you put my muse in a situation that makes no sense for them and again force me to explain that, without even giving me a good reason to. And third, I play very different muses, but most of them are going to lose interest in the conversation immediately if the first thing you say to them is rude af. So, yeah, I actually really struggle with most random starters. Please just plot with me and then I will love you forever for writing me a plotted starter that I know will not create 400 questions in my head that I then have to bother you with, which makes me feel like a nuisance. (Or at least keep the setting neutral? Or try to come up with something that seems reasonable for my muse? I always try to do that and when I am unsure, I message the person who liked my starter calls.) Speaking of which, I rarely post starter calls, because.. well, like I just kind of explained, it’s comes with responsibility and work. And I’m lazy.

INBOX: is open for memes at all times, and questions of any kind. I often don’t get notified, so I sometimes see certain messages months later - when that happens, I usually don’t reply anymore if they’re anon because I’ll assume that person forgot or isn’t even around anymore. Sorry about that! It’s an issue I’ve had on several blogs and I don’t know how to fix it. Anon hate is deleted without comment, unless I feel there’s a point in replying to it publicly, or if it’s entertaining. I don’t roleplay via inbox and therefore any “ic” questions or interactions posted in there will be treated as a one-time meme, if I can reply to them at all. Asks of sexual nature from complete strangers will usually be ignored because Obi-Wan isn’t the muse for that at all. As I’ve stated in my rules I only roleplay with mutuals and therefore won’t roleplay with someone I don’t follow, even if they ignore that rule and start rping with me via inbox. I don’t mean to be dismissive, but I have these rules for a reason and I ask that people read and respect them.

SELECTIVITY: I am selective with whom I follow because I have limited time and energy for this blog (and all my blogs) and therefore find it irresponsible and pointless to accept 600 followers and threads when I know I can’t possibly reply to even 10% of them. Before I follow someone (back) I look at their blogs; in particular at their writing (to see if I like their style and their portrayal), their rules (to see what they like/dislike and if our general understanding of the RPC, roleplay, and in a way social interactions in general go well together), and sometimes their OOC posts to get a feeling of how the other person is. (Obviously I also sometimes don’t follow back when I don’t know the muse or fandom at all.) Blog rules and ooc posts can say A LOT about a person, and there are plenty of people in the RPC (in any fandom) that quickly rose to tumblr fame with shiny graphics and fancy formatting and dozens of well-developed verses and headcanons, but they straight up suck as people outside of writing. My rules state very clearly that I discourage hateful comments, mob mentality and callout culture, and unfortunately many “popular” blogs use exactly these tools to execute their power (which comes from being admired for all the wrong reasons). So, I know many people think being selective means you only pick partners with fancy graphics and poetic writing, but for me it actually means I want decent human beings as partners. I don’t give a shit if you format your posts (as long as you cut them) or if you have a blog with a fancy theme, or just a rules google doc, or if you use icons or not. If I like your writing and you seem like a nice and reasonable person, I’m good to go. If you talk to me about dogs I’m even better to go.

WISHLIST: I always try to have one because I find it very helpful when looking for plot ideas with new partners. I will look at yours if you like a plotting call or something too, but I know not everyone has a wishlist~

HONEST NOTE: I’m not a teenager anymore and I’ve been rping for over 14 years. I work with lots of strangers, I study for a job with lots of strangers. I think about philosophical concepts a lot, about morality and human behavior and I’ve come to the conclusion that kindness, empathy and compassion are some of the core values every single person should focus on to make the world a better place. I have no patience and no interest in engaging in the absolute toxic and harmful hate movement that’s taken over this website (and other social media platforms) in whatsoever way. Occasionally I’ll make a salty comment about it, but only because I’ve had it up to here. I am here to enjoy fandom the way I used to, and the way it used to be meant to be enjoyed - not to completely ignore real issues like world politics, economical and environmental crises, in order to entertain witch hunts on people who happen to enjoy a fictional ship that isn’t 300% approved by puritan statutes of the 1600s. I am responsible for the content I seek out online, and so are you. Does it suck when I see something I dislike? Sure. Is it the fault of the person who posted it? No. Especially not when I read their rules first, like I’m supposed to, and they clearly state that the thing I dislike will appear on their blog. And even if they didn’t, it was my choice to go on their blog and look at their content. If you can’t handle taking responsibility for the content you seek out online, then you are probably not old enough to use the internet unsupervised. I am free to write, read, and post on my personal blog whatever I want, as long as I am not breaking the law. Liking a fictional ship that involves an age gap? Not illegal. Liking a fictional ship that involves siblings? Not illegal. Liking a fictional ship in which one party was abusive to the other at some point? Not illegal. Liking a fictional character who killed your fave? Not illegal. It’s fictional. Get over it. And if you really think that seeing fictional characters or ships online that YOU consider “problematic” is hurting people in real life, then you should join those politicians who burn books that are “corrupting the people’s morals and minds”, who ban video games because they “make gamers violent”, and censor songs from the radio because they “present biased views on people of public importance”. Please reflect on your behavior. Destroying someone’s life because they liked something you don’t, telling them to commit suic/ide, ruining their chance of making friends who maybe share their love for a ship or character.. that’s bullying. Some of the cases I’ve seen on here were so severe, they qualify as serious cyberbullying and should be reported to the police. I don’t give a fuck if you hate Rey/lo or Damon Salva/tore, or the Joker. You don’t go and send someone messages telling them to kill themselves because they RP it. Because that is the real crime. And finally, if you feel the need to “educate” someone you consider “problematic” for whatever reason and you actually approach them - make sure you’re actually there to educate and discuss, not to throw an opinion at them and get aggressive when they don’t immediately magically agree. Because chances are they won’t. If you choose to open a dialogue, make sure it IS a fucking dialogue and not a condescending monologue. Learn how to shape an argument, find evidence to back up your claims - because not only will you become better at talking to people in any kind of situation, you’ll also maybe realize that your opinion wasn’t as well-founded as you thought.

#.tag game #.munday #.ooc

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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

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May 11th-May 17th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from May 11th, 2020 to May 17th, 2020. The chat focused on Gender Slices by Jey Pawlik.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Gender Slices by Jey Pawlik~! (https://topazcomics.com/genderslices/vol1/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until May 17th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I have read the comic before. The whole thing and the author's comment at the end. It is such a shame to hear that Jey has gotten hate for their work. It takes a lot of bravery to be so openly queer on the internet, and I admire it a lot.

I like the art!

It is simple and clean and expressive.

This might be a bit of a weird comment, but from how Jey draws themselves, I feel like I have an understanding of how they actually look?

Like, their face and body are just a few lines here, but they're a distinctive few lines.

About the writing: it's hard to make a short form comic like this! Brevity is the soul of wit and all that, and it's hard to be concise!

But I think they manage it well

I feel like every panel has a purpose

I think it's fascinating, and sometimes saddening, how how you are and how you look affects how others treat you

This comic gave me greater insight into what it's like to be seen as non binary. Or, to not be seen as non binary when you are

I don't know if Jey will be reading this, but thank you for making the comic <3

I hope that many other people learned something from reading it as well

eliushi [a winged tale]

I really enjoy comics that give me more insight into other people’s lives. Bookmarked and will go through the comic this week!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Wow, I love the way the webcomic showed how being nonbinary was like. It's very simple and gets the point across very well. I'm also going to keep reading it.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

On Gender Slices; - I enjoy how personal and insightful about Jey's journey as non binary. - I like how clean and straight forward the story is. It's more like an auto bio comic strip - Even though the designs are simplistic, I see the author's personal struggle within. - As a reader, I really like self discovery stories. Gender Slices is helping me think about gender spectrum, respecting pronouns. - Overall, it expresses how different stages of your life, your identity can change as a non binary person. Wow this comic accurately shows the common issues my enby friends complain about. But it's much clearer in this comic format(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I loved Gender Slices! It's hard for me to comment on character and stuff when it's, like, autobiographical? Like, that's a real human person lol. But I really think the comic does a great job of conveying Jey's journey through their identity with all these short scenarios. It feels like a diary of sorts, and that's really cool to me.

eliushi [a winged tale]

I really enjoyed this and will be recommending it to folks I think will benefit from understanding this community better. I found the most powerful messages and portrayal of experiences come from the small everyday things that we often take for granted. I felt the clean art style and clear panels helped the autobiographical narrative be very approachable. Most importantly, the tips offering better phrasing and approaches to talking about gender in the comic were very enlightening and useful. I hope more people read this, young to old to in-between! There will always be things to learn on how to respect and love each other more.

RebelVampire

What I like about the beginning of the comic and the art style all in one is just how clean the art is. I'm a huge fan of good, easy to read linework, since it's much easier for me as a reader to understand what's going on. This is something that occurred through out the comic, so each strip's message was conveyed really clearly. <3 I am overall glad this comic exists, as it's good to hear people's unique stories as they deal with life, whether it's something unique related to being nb or something that's somewhat universal regardless of those sorts of issues; I know at the beginning, disappointing parents was a pretty big theme and I think that's something we all experience. This was also clearly an extremely personal story at work, and it takes a truly brave soul to make something like this. Which honestly, I think those are the parts that make the comic the strongest. It's a personal story, and you know these events really happened and get to connect with the creator on a personal level without even knowing them. As such, the material really sticks with you because of that personal, emotional connection that's developed as you read it. As for a "favorite" moment, there is one strip that stood out to me (which I sadly didn't bookmark). But in it, Jey talks about how they appreciate having words and "labels" to describe themself, but also acknowledges that some people don't like to label themselves. And as a person who doesn't like to label themself, I really appreciated that. This is something I feel rarely gets mentioned in webcomics, so I liked that there was a mutual respect established in the strip that it's ok to have a preference in that regard and that whether you want to find labels for yourself or don't want to, you're a cool person.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Of the moments in the comic, which did you find the most personally relatable and why? In what ways do you think that moment might help others who read it?

10. What do you think the personal stories in this comic teach us about finding personal happiness, self-acceptance, and acceptance from others?

11. Why do you think telling stories about the sorts of gender issues presented here are important, and what moments in the comic show why that’s the case?

12. How does the comic being autobiographical versus fiction affect your views on the comic’s messages? In what ways does it being autobiographical make it stand out from other comics?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

I've already talked about the most relatable moment in regards to favorite for me. I think it's a helpful moment because it just helps show everyone is different, and that it's good to have mutual respect all around. I think that the personal stories teach us about the themes of happiness, acceptance, etc. is that it's hard work. You aren't gonna nail it in one day, and you also can't be expected to. Society certainly may want you to have a grasp on these things, but ultimately these things are achieved at your own pace and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. These stories are important for a lot of reasons, but for me personally I always think the most important thing is that it just makes people feel not alone. And I think the part of the comic that shows this is the strips about Jey finding people in their community. Humans do not like to feel lonely, and these stories help show people that no, even if you're in a community where this isn't a thing, there's billions of people in the world and theres always a community out there to share your experiences with and bond with. Autobiographical comics, in my opinion, tend to have a much stronger emotional connections. Sometimes with fiction stories, it can be hard to really get into the emotions, since at the end of the day, characters are representations of people and not exactly people. They can be damn good and feel super real, but there will always be that gap of "but it's fiction." Autobiographical stories don't have this. They are basically raw emotions put onto a page, and there's just this inherent sense of reality to them that fiction struggles to capture sometimes. As such, the messages they deliver are more powerful in most cases.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Going back to the previous question; 9. Most personally was expressing how Jey tried to self talk to adjust to a new name. But end up falling back to their birth name. 10. It helps to see how one might struggle internally, what gender disphoria feels from the character's pov. 12. It gives a deeper insight since this is a real person's experience and not a fantasy character going through the stages. I will continue reading Jey's journey and learn from their experiences. I think it's a good guide to what a non binary person goes through.(edited)

RebelVampire

Well since the comic is done, I am looking forward to seeing more people discover it. I know lots of people really need stories like this, so its nice to see when people are positively affected by them. Once again, it is a great thing this comic exists. Maybe it's not a comic for you, but it's one of those comics where you can tell it means a lot to someone out there, and I think everyone needs those special collection of stories to help them navigate through life

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Gender Slices this week! Please also give a special thank you to Jey Pawlik for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Gender Slices, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://topazcomics.com/genderslices/vol1/

Jey’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jpawlik

Topaz Comic’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/topazcomics

Topaz Comic’s Shop: https://topazcomics.com/shop/

Topaz Comic’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/topazcomics

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #gender slices #jey pawlik #topaz comics

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andrewdburton · 5 years ago

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How we raised $10,000+ for a charity (actual metrics)

What happens when you try to raise money for a cause you care about?

Recently, my wife and I held a fundraiser in NYC. We both come from families of immigrants and we wanted to raise money for families being separated at the border. What we’ve seen has made us feel helpless, outraged, and sad. But we also know that we’re in the enviable position of being able to do something about it.

This was the first time we’ve ever raised money for a fundraiser together and I want to share what we learned (plus all the numbers).

VIDEO: My wife and me explaining why we launched this fundraiser

It turns out I LOVE fundraising. I think it’s because…

It’s a cause I care about

I have friends and readers I can share this with

Thanks to having 40,000 customers, I have no fear of asking for money. Especially from IWT readers who asked for a free ticket to my event, and (1) one had spent $10,000 on my products, (2) another worked at Amazon, and (3) a third was an engineer at VISA. I showed no mercy.

MRW when someone asks for a free ticket to my charity event, but they’ve spent $10,000 on my products

Our fundraising metrics

We raised $12,975, beating our goal of $5,000!! (We donated 100% of that money.)

To raise money, we first asked a few friends in the nonprofit space for their advice. They pointed us to groups we started researching, then we settled on Families Belong Together to donate our funds to.

Our next step was to email friends. We emailed about 50 friends and family, raising $2,450. Some people donated to come to the NYC event we held, while others just donated funds.

Then Cass and I recorded a video explaining why we were raising money and why this is important to us, which I posted on my Instagram feed/stories, Twitter, and LinkedIn. The video got watched about 50,000 times.

That video linked back to our Eventbrite page, which got ~2,000 views and raised ~$9,000.

We held an event in NYC, where we hosted about 35 people in a space donated by https://energi.life/welcome/. Paola from Families Belong Together shared stories about what she’s seen along the border, along with drinks served by Andrew from Crafttender (big thanks to everyone for making this possible!!).

Overall, for our first fundraiser, this was a big success!!

Paola shared her experiences working with Families Belong Together. Some of my friends cried during the presentation.

LESSON #1: Get comfortable with small numbers

Initially, Cass and I set a goal of $50,000. When we went to a few fundraising friends and asked for advice, one of them smiled. “Why don’t you start small?” he gently asked us. Even though it was hard to hear, he was right.

I learned that I had to get comfortable with smaller numbers.

This wasn’t some massive fundraiser where we could leverage crazy press or the entire IWT business (e.g., when IWT raised $300,000 for Pencils of Promise).

After running IWT, where I oversee a team that manages complex lead acquisition, funnels, conversion, and products, I’ve gotten used to big numbers. To give you an example, during the week my wife and I raised $12,975 for this fundraiser, one individual IWT student bought 3 courses equaling $10,388.

So with this fundraiser, it was humbling to start small and be satisfied with small numbers and modest goals. This was my wife and me setting up our first fundraiser together, trying to find a free event space, and trying to send anything we can to support families at the border.

I had to reframe our new goal of “only” $5,000 as a win. When you’re starting something new, it’s hard to remember that starting small is how EVERYONE starts off. This was a great reminder. Most of all, we were just thrilled to be able to contribute to a cause we care about.

LESSON #2: When a friend asks, show up

You might have seen “Ramit’s 10 Money Rules” that I posted a while back. Look closely at #4:

#4: “Never question spending money on books, appetizers, health, or donating to a friend’s charity fundraiser.”

Read about Ramit’s Money Rules

There’s a reason I always donate to friends’ charity events. When your friend emails you for a fundraiser, they really want your help (in general, people HATE asking for money, so when they do, there’s usually a reason for it).

If you respond and donate quickly, they’ll appreciate it.

And if you donate more than they asked for, they will never forget it.

For example, Sam Gavis-Hughson is a Zero To Launch graduate who helps job candidates prepare for their coding interviews at companies like Google and Facebook. He used our Zero To Launch program to recently run a $50,000 launch. When we posted about our fundraiser, he was one of our first donors and came in big with a $500 donation — that’s more than our requested $100 donation. I will never forget it.

Other friends never donated. Maybe they were busy or missed the email. But I’ll never forget that, either.

Showing up doesn’t just mean spending money. It also means physically showing up when it’s important to your friend.

Over the last couple of weeks, two of my friends have launched books. I went to Nir Eyal’s launch of his book. A few days later, Cass and I went to support Paula Rizzo’s launch of her book. Yes, I’m busy. Yes, it was out of the way. Yes, we showed up.

Showing up for Paula Rizzo’s book launch of Listful Living

When an author launches their book, they’re nervous, they’re excited, and most of all, THEY DESPERATELY WANT YOUR SUPPORT.

SHOW UP!! Show up for birthdays parties, weddings, book launches, and charity events. ALWAYS.

Those are moments in someone’s life that mean so much to them.

Cass and I learned the importance of showing up when we were planning our wedding. After we were married, we made a set of joint rules for attending other people’s weddings:

Always be first on the dance floor

Be the couple that you can seat anywhere because you know we’ll get the table having fun (AKA, don’t be a dud)

Make sure your gifts arrive before the wedding

After going through our first fundraiser, our new rules are:

Always donate to our friends’ fundraisers

Always donate MORE than they ask for (an extra $100 or $200 will always be remembered)

LESSON #3: Deal with critics

Invariably, I had some people who didn’t agree with the cause we were raising money for. I think this stops a lot of people from ever getting started with something like this (or starting a business). What will people think? What will they say? Will my friends get annoyed by me asking them for money?

Whenever you try something new, you’re going to encounter critics. It happened with this fundraiser.

LOL at the critics who decided that instead of donating, they’d leave angry comments on a fundraiser for a good cause.

I typically find that they use 3 strategies:

Telling me they disagree with my cause

Hateful comment: “Send everyone the fuck back” (screenshots below)

Confuse the issue by asking seemingly innocent question (concern trolling): “What about X? Have you considered Y? Are you concerned about Z?”

Here’s how I dealt with them.

First, when they disagree with your cause: I had a woman DM me on Instagram and politely tell me that she doesn’t agree with me politically, but she appreciates that I’m using my platform to support a cause I care about. I totally respect that.

Then there were the #MAGA morons who decided to lob potshots from their anonymous accounts with hateful comments.

Unfortunately for them, this New York Times bestselling author is considerably smarter than the usual empty-headed cretins they deal with at the local parking lot where they spend their Saturday nights.

You can safely ignore twitter commenters whose feeds are filled with hateful posts, whose headshots are cartoon characters wearing a birthday hat, and who seem to share one thing in common: the intellectual aptitude of a gnat. Just move on — they already live in a prison in their own mind.

But beyond anonymous critics, there were the more insidious critics who try to confuse the issue by concern trolling, or asking question after question after question.

Here’s what you must understand: These people will never support your cause, whether it’s a fundraiser or a business or your plan to lose weight. They have no interest in a genuine discussion (if they did, they would engage privately). They’re asking questions because getting others riled up is their entertainment. And, to put it delicately, my successful friends never leave comments like this.

“If it was X, MAYBE I would donate” = “I will never donate”

You can delete or ignore these comments. I intentionally responded to a couple so my followers could see my responses.

If you decide to try something new, remember this: Opinions are cheap. You’ll ALWAYS get people saying, “What about this? What about that? How do where every cent of this $100 is going? If you did X, maybe I would donate.”

Oh, ok. Suddenly, some anonymous guy with an icon of a banana has developed a 14-page quiz on Kantian ethics that you must answer before they donate $100. In reality, they have the moral compass of a cupholder.

Guess what? They’re not your audience.

Actual supporters didn’t demand that I jump through their gauntlet of requirements for one hundred dollars. They wanted to get involved, they clicked DONATE, and they showed up.

It’s fine if not everyone supports your cause (whether it’s a business, a new hobby, or a fundraiser). But I wanted to show you some of the worst critics of all — the ones who try to derail you by questioning you, by concern trolling you, by trying to make you second-guess yourself — so you can see that these people are everywhere.

You want to raise money for your own cause? Great! Do it. My wife and I saw something we wanted to support and we raised over $12,000 to help these families. If you’re more comfortable lobbing hateful comments on social media, then sit down and get the fuck out of my way. I have work to do.

LESSON #4: Use your time and money to live a Rich Life

THIS is a Rich Life — where you use your time and money to help other people.

When something outrages you or inspires you…when something makes you MAD or SAD or THRILLED, that’s an opportunity to lean into it and use your time and money to improve it.

It’s not about needing to have $1,000,000. A tiny amount can change someone’s life.

IWT isn’t simply about earning more money. I show you how to do that in my book, my business courses, and my career courses.

But to be able to use your time and money to help other people…that’s another level.

I want you to see how that you can use money to support the things you care about. Your family, your health, and yes — giving back.

I want to show you that raising money for something you believe in comes in lots of shapes and colors and sizes. It doesn’t mean you have to attend a black-tie gala in Manhattan. I never wrote fundraising checks as a child — but I did do “sewa” (volunteer service) at my local Sikh temple.

I want to show you how to pick a goal, then go after it without anyone or anything getting in your way. Critics? GTFO. What about the perfect financial structu–forget all that! Raise the money and send it.

More than anything, I want you to know that you can define your Rich Life. This is ours. I hope you find yours and lean into it.

How we raised $10,000+ for a charity (actual metrics) is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Finance https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/how-we-raised-10000-for-a-charity/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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