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laylaplease · 1 year

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anakin breeding kink anakin breeding kink anakin breeding kink I want TWINS with this man. please… elaborate on this kink with him… please…

Anakin x afab!reader | Smut | Minors DNI

Warnings — BREEDING (obv, duh), soft dom Anakin, bit ordering you around, DADDY KINK, praise, pet names, explicit mentions of body fluids (goes without saying), brief nipple play, brief biting, clit play...

Word count — 2813

Notes — It's almost 4AM as I am finishing this. I'm pretty sure I'm lacking some warnings, and my editing is probably off, but I really wanted to post today. Thanks to my lovely mutual for requesting this; I loved writing it, and I hope it will be a nice read, XO.

There were a thousand thoughts in your head, running in circles and screaming what a miserable human you are for not being able to fight your primal urges, and they were all replaced by imagines of Anakin’s hands gripping your hips and stuffing you full of his cum. You could almost feel it in you; you could feel it setting into your ovum and dripping down your thighs, taking over every last piece of your identity and self-awareness. Your body wanted it. It was demanding it.

"What's the stare, love?" Anakin raised his head from a book, catching your eyes from across the room. His raspy voice and intense stare instantly snapped you out of your trance.

"N-nothing." You managed to stutter while trying to find a spot in your bedroom to focus on instead of his face or exposed forearm peeking from his rolled-up sleeve. Fuck.

He's got you.

Anakin let out a soft sigh, followed by a laugh. He slowly put the book aside and uncrossed his legs, staring at you. "Come here." He gestured with a swift movement of his hand.

If it was any other moon phase, you would have put on a show. You would have thrown a snarky comment at him, mocked his authority over you, or just ignored his commands, but since your clothes were almost evaporating from his gaze, you did not refuse.

"You're listening." A bit surprised, he smiled widely after seeing you slide out of the sheets and walk towards him. "Good."

He leaned forward, grabbing your hips as you stood before him and looked up at you with a little hint of amusement in his eyes. "I can smell it on you." He nudged his nose into your abdomen and took a deep breath.

You were about to protest when he turned you around and seated you on his lap, making your back rest against his chest. He leanedand kissed your neck softly. "You're wet."

He forced your legs open by making them rest on his outer thighs and spreading himself, dragging your limbs together in the process.

"I'm- " He was right, and you hated it, but you couldn't disagree when you felt his hand slip under the waistline of your pants and slide over your panties, rubbing the very core with his middle and index fingers.

Anakin let out a deep chuckle. "Oh, sweetheart, you're not wet... You're soaking."

With his free hand, he brushed your hair off your shoulder, softly scratching you with his metal fingers. He pressed his lips onto your now exposed skin.

"I could just slide right into your little pussy and you wouldn't feel a stretch..." Anakin whispered against your back, sending shivers down your spine.

His fingers continued softly rubbing over your panties and you could feel your core pulsing with anticipation. You make an unfortunate attempt to shut your legs close when he brushes over a sensitive spot, which makes Anakin chuckle.

"I know, baby, it's aching, isn't it? It's aching for me." Anakin gave your clothed core a gentle slap, making you gasp softly. "Tell Daddy what you need."

"I n-need you to..." You keep stuttering when his palm keeps fondling your wet folds slowly. "...Fill me up..."

You blurt out like a dog in heat, unable to contain its urges. Before you could say something else, Anakin froze. His hand stopped moving, his lips parted with your skin, and the only active sensation you could feel is his warm breath on the back of your neck. "You...What?"

"I-I..." Your face flushed deep pink when you sober up from the fantasy of your womb swelling with his seed. The shame you feel after making such a lewd request is almost unbearable.

Anakin grabbed your hips and, with a sharp movement, turned you around to face him. "Say that again."

His hands gripped your sides harshly, pressing your cunt onto his growing dick, which only made you stumble over your words more. He grabbed your chin and forced you to look him in the eyes. "I said, repeat yourself."

You stared into his orbs; his gaze is intense, demanding in silence and forcing words out of your mouth. "Fill me...up..."

That was all Anakin needed to hear. His lips pressed onto yours, wasting no time and pushing his tongue inside your mouth like a starved man. His spit smeared over your lips from how messily he was devouring you. You could feel a pair of hands roaming all over your body, gripping your thighs and butt, pulling you closer by the waist to grind his hardening cock onto your pussy.

"Is that what you desire?" He whispered in between kissing you. "Want me to breed you? Fill your pretty hole with my cum until you're leaking?"

"Yes, Ani..." You manage to breathe out. His tongue was good at so many things, his filthy mouth and your fantasies coming together was a bliss. Especially when his greedy hands gripped your curves so eagerly, ready to grant you all of your wishes.

Anakin lifted you up, carrying you back into the soft sheets. "My love, my beautiful girl..." He kept whispering into your ear while planting kisses all over your neck. As soon as your back pressed into the mattress, his hips bucked into yours, grinding his proud cock and earning an erotic moan from you.

His hands left your curves only to tear your pants down your legs, taking the messed panties together and throwing the mess of clothing across the room. "I'm going to breed that tight little cunt." He grunted while pushing his pants down and freeing his throbbing cock, which he instantly pressed onto your twitching clit.

"Look at that..." He slapped his length over your folds a few times, smearing your lewd wetness on himself. "I'll fucking ruin you..."

"A-Ani..."

Anakin wasn't going to take your shit today, not when he knew your womb was ready to host his seed. He leaned back on top of you and pressed his hand against your mouth.

"You are going to be a good girl and let daddy fuck a baby in you, is that clear?"

Did you want to be a brat about it? Yes. Could you? Well, with his body on top of you and with his dick an inch away from your slippery hole, promising to fulfill your fantasy... Not really. So you nod.

"That's my girl." Anakin pressed a tender kiss on your forehead. His hand moved from your mouth to your cheek, caressing it softly. "My perfect girl." Then he kissed you. Softly, not forcing himself onto you, allowing it to linger. An action completely opposite of his demeanor.

It wasn’t long before your blouse was being sent across the room, his pants following right after. You gripped onto Anakin’s robes, pulling onto them and exposing his chest. He pulls out his arms from the sleeves and snakes them around you once again, firmly caressing your hips and stomach, obviously thinking about how perfect your body is to bear his children.

You wrap your arms around his back, digging your fingers into toned flesh as he teases your entrance with his slick tip. There is a visible grin on his face. To ease your suffering at least a bit, you go for a kiss. Another messy wet kiss with teeth clashing against each other and tongues moving in a messy sync, that only made sense to him and you. When Anakin pulls his lips away, you can’t help but pant after realizing how much oxygen he’s stolen from you.

“Come on, baby, spread your legs more. Let Daddy in.” Anakin is panting too. His hands are trembling in anticipation after finally being this close to ravishing your body raw.

And when he asks like that, how can you deny him? Your legs wrapped around his hips, which brought you even closer to him. His presence made your head spin; you are holding onto him as if he were the anchor to your physical body, as if your soul would cease to exist if your fingers weren’t touching him so so feverishly. You were kerosene, and his touch — a flame.

Your eagerness only made Anakin more famished for your body. He kept grinding himself onto you while his teeth repeatedly grazed into your neck, making sure to mark you as his outside your body before imprinting himself in your insides. You hated the fact that he was still attempting to tease you, which, despite how annoyed you were, still made you overflow with wetness.

“Fuck, baby, need to be inside you…” Anakin groaned, and with that, you felt his length splitting your opening apart.

He entered you slowly, purposely delaying the full pleasure of feeling him at the deepest parts of you. His forehead slightly furrowed, eyes closed in delight from feeling your soft walls hugging him. He wasn’t just going to fuck you; he was going to feel every part of your tight bare cunt against his length for the first time and memorize it. His mind is clouded with thoughts about finally being able to raw you whenever he desires to, because after tonight you will surely be bearing his child.

“Ana-kin!” You let out a choked moan of a word you know the best, clinging to him, your starved body making it hard for him not to cum within seconds of hitting your cervix. If it were any other day, you’d probably be begging for him to ease it up.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart.” He settled still deep inside you, kissing your neck and collarbones while caressing your skin tenderly, as if thanking you for letting him ruin the last bit of innocence you had left. Anakin remained in place for a few moments until he felt your walls greedily clench around him, asking to be bruised. Today, he wasn’t going to deny you.

It took all of his self-control to set a nice and firm pace instead of instantly pounding you to oblivion; he wanted to savor the special moment as long as possible. Once he set a satisfying speed, endless grunts started spilling from his mouth, which you answered with incoherent words. The intense ecstasy he was giving you stripped you of your ability to form logical sentences.

And it wasn’t just his thick cock that made your muscles spasm; it was also the way your name rolled off his parted lips, the way his firm hands groped your shivering body, and skin glistened with sweat. It was his whole presence, his entire existence, that made you break for him.

He slammed into you repeatedly, sending electricity all over your body. The room echoed with sounds of pleasure, which only made Anakin steadily increase his pace, making lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin more frequent. You have never felt so drenched in fluids; the mess between your bodies was smearing all over your lower abdomen, sticking his flesh to yours like vile viscous glue.

“That’s it.” Anakin grunted when he filled you to the brim once more. “You’re. Taking. Me. So. Well.” Each word was separated by him pounding into you harder and harder. This was a point of no return.

Your quivering body was now answering all of his actions on its own. Your back kept arching, hardened nipples brushed against his chest with each flex of your spine. Anakin watched your breasts bounce in awe before grabbing your sensitive bud between his prosthetic fingers and pinching it softly.

“You are made to bear my children.” He started kneading your soft flesh; thoughts of your body adjusting to nurture his babies scrambled his brain, making it more difficult not to fill your cunt. “You’ll swell and stretch for my seed; you’ll bless me with many sons and daughters, and I will worship every square inch of your exhausted body.”

If you had any doubts about making Anakin a father, they were gone the second his words of desire reached your ears. You nodded your head frantically, unable to verbally answer him, unable to tell him how much your womb craved to carry his child.

“I’ll plant it in you. Or maybe two; do you think you can give me two at once, my love?” He whispered through his ragged breaths. “It’s okay if you can't; I’ll just fuck another one into you again.”

“P-please…!” You weren’t even sure what exactly you were pleading for. In fact, you couldn’t just beg for one thing. You wanted to come. You wanted him to go faster, to thrust harder, you wanted him to kiss you, and most importantly, you wanted his cum deep inside of you. You wanted him to coat your insides in white, make it spill out of you, you needed him in a primal and animalistic way. The same way he needed you.

In different circumstances, Anakin would have pulled out and made you beg for him to continue, beg for him to let you release, but this was a special night and he was going to fulfill your wishes. His hips moved rhythmically, digging into your sore body, hands grasped any parts of you he could reach. The more he was giving you, the more your legs trembled. Your cunt was tightening around his cock, signaling him about the upcoming wave.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” You nodded eagerly at his words, attempting to mumble more pleas but failing miserably. “Good girl, baby, cum all over daddy’s cock. That’s it.”

He reached down between your bodies, pressing two fingers over your swollen clit. He looked you in the eyes proudly, knowing this position allowed you to see how your dripping pussy swallowed his dick fully with each sharp thrust. His fingers rubbed you slowly, making sure to apply just enough amount of pressure to send you to cloud nine.

So close, you were so close. Seeing Anakin like that, trying to hold himself over you with one arm as his whole body was focusing only on your pleasure, it made you crave impossibly more of him. “Cum, baby girl, cum for me now.” He leaned and whispered while pressing his lips all over your face tenderly, making sure that, in between the storm of lust and passion, you knew that he loved you more than anything else in the galaxy.

And that was all it took. His pleading permission for you to let yourself go, affection and desire for you, his body abusing itself to please you... You couldn’t hold it anymore. You wrapped your arms around his neck, smashing your lips against his. The kiss was full of moans and whimpers, and he ate it all up like his last diner. Your walls spasmed tightly around him, vision darkened as your eyes rolled at the back of your skull. He kept pounding himself into you until the ultimate pleasure was sent across your body like thunder, making you quiver with a moan of his name.

“My love, my beautiful love..." Anakin whimpered after your juices of passion covered his entire cock. It was nearly impossible for him not to follow right away.

And there was no point in holding himself back anymore; he moved his hand off your clit, wrapping his arms around your body, and with a last sharp roll of his hips, you were filled with his warm seed. Your whole body was shaking from the feeling of hot cream settling inside of you, marking you as Anakin’s, devouring your whole body. He kept cumming as if he'd been holding himself for months, and you made an effort to clench your muscles to milk him as much as you could. Anakin’s body collapsed on top of you, his cock still entirely inside, basking in a sloppy mess of your love-making.

“I love you. I love you more than life itself.” He clinged on top of you, mixing your bodies entirely, skin to skin, sweat to sweat, heart to heart. He was entirely yours, and you were entirely his.

Anakin raised his head slightly, and in fear of his absence, your limp body found strength to hold onto him. “Stay. Right here, stay.” You pleaded with your eyes and voice, still gasping for air.

He carefully reached to stroke your cheek, making sure to not separate from your body. His fingers started tracing the supple skin lovingly. For a moment, he just stared into your eyes, trying to regain his strength to speak. “The gift you’ll give me, I’ll forever be grateful for.” His hand left your cheek and found a place on your hip, rubbing it with his thumb softly as if expecting a crumble of joy that will soon start growing inside of your womb to know about his presence before it even exists.

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may-lutlone · 8 months

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So, while I was playing Reload (great game 10/10), I was brainstorming about using the android that kills Shadows in P5. So, I came up with an AU where Akechi is an Anti-Shadow weapon. Well he is inspired by one.

Of course, there are fanarts (better than mine) or fics where he is that Anti-Shadow weapon, but I have never really seen anything dwelling into lore that much? I just saw the concept being thrown around or Phantom Thieves just being a part of Shadow Ops (feel free to correct me, I haven't been everywhere in Persona fandom ehsjskks) So here's my take, which contains spoilers for Persona 5 (obvs) and some angsty themes:

Spoilers obvs!!!!!!!!

-Wakaba killed Akechi during one of Metaverse's experiments (oops),

-she felt so guilty about it that she secretly retrieved his consciousness from there,

-using plans for an Anti-Shadow weapon

by the Kirijo Group that she somehow got hold of (maybe she stole it, maybe she just got it idc), she rebuilt him as an android and put his consciousness there (although it exists with the programming, because she wasn't that knowledgeable about robotics - she was a cognitive psicentist at heart, after all),

-was it a good decision? idk but Wakaba kinda strike me as a scientist who would think that was an excellent idea,

-Akechi disagrees, he hates her for that because now he is forever stuck as a thing that is forced to listen to orders (being forever stuck in one body also doesn't feel right I suppose),

-but they have a neutral and professional relationship that revolves around exploring the Metaverse (Akechi can still use Loki, just like Aigis can use Palladion),

-Conspiracy, learning about this, hacks Akechi-android to use him as a weapon in the Metaverse (so he still is a Black Mask, although everything is done completely without his input),

-Akechi then kills Wakaba, which she anticipated and before that she had given Futaba a copy of her research and Akechi’s plans - although she said to never use them without a really serious reasoning,

-yada, yada, yada we're in original game timeline,

-Akechi as a Detective Prince doesn't exist,

-but he does exist like a obstacle in Palaces/Mementos that hunts down the Thieves,

-let’s just say they would be able to fight him back around the time their lvl in Okumura's Palace,

-Morgana doesn't know wtf Akechi is,

-Joker has some suspicion that Akechi isn't just a machine, but he doesn't really voice it at that point,

-when they are in Futaba's palace, on one of the wall arts (the one where Wakaba works on something and Futaba is begging for her attention) they notice that Wakaba was working on one of Akechi's parts (probably his arm idk),

-so they ask Futaba (post-change of heart) what’s going on, but she has to do research,

-when Futaba joins the team, Akechi always targets her (due to his resent to Wakaba),

-they finally learn what Akechi is and that he is malfunctioning (y'know being a serial killer weapon) due to being hacked, so they decide to help him (bonus point if they can get him on their team),

-so in Okumura palace arc they set on changing the CEO heart and capturing Akechi (who is also there, because he has to get rid of Okumura),

-during the fight in that Palace, Futaba manages to free him from Conspiracy’s control (bonus point if he awakes to Robin Hood),

-when they get him back to Leblanc's attic, Futaba repairs him (because I feel like she would be into robotics just like her mom) and they learn that even if he is on their side now, he doesn't remember who he really was (even first his name, only Akechi).

So, my AU would revolve around Akechi re-learning about his past (he can bond over his amnesia with Morgana) and being as human as possible.

I have a few ideas that I probably will draw (or write, who knows), but that's all for now. Thanks for coming for my ted talk.

Bonus comic - very messy, sorry:

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miya-twins · 3 months

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miyacest !! (idr if u talk abt them on this blog so if u don't feel free to ignore)

oh dw idc. this is my blog and I'll talk about whatever I want <3

Send me a ship, and I will tell you:

1. My take on their canon relationship: they're each other's most important person. full stop. that's what canon says. if you disagree you're wrong. obv canon doesn't mean it in a shippy way, I get it, but that doesn't matter. sometimes the most important relationships are entirely platonic. the point is, they've spent their entire lives together, and even when they grew up and their paths diverged and they fought about all this change, it didn't tear them apart, if anything, it only brought them closer together. idk how anyone can read hq post-ts and not get insanely emotional about them. look at atsumu wearing osamu's old number to the olympics, and osamu being all proud, wearing the same jersey at home. look at how happy osamu gets from seeing atsumu eating his onigiri and taking strength and ecouragement from it to perfect his serves and get even better. look at their stupid ass bet to each be the happier one because they can't be fucking normal and say "I support you and want you to live the happiest life you can". literally I can't shut up about them.

2. Do I ship them: obviously.

3. Reasons why I do/don’t ship them: canon gave us such a juicy, complex relationship, how could I not ship? nobody gets them like they get each other. osamu literally was created so atsumu wouldn't be lonely. what else do you want me to say??? idc about anyone's supposed 'moral concerns' like damn, it's a story, them being related just gives an extra layer of drama if I want one. I'm not passing up one of, if not the best relationship in the series for a stupid reason like that.

4. Headcanon, if any: when things get tough, they make another stupid bet on who's gonna be the first to give up on their relationship due to outside pressure, and they both know it's 100 times more meaningful than any promise to stay together forever, because they're both committed enough to never give up on what they have, or else they wouldn't have agreed to the bet.

5. How much do I ship (%): not measurable in numbers they make me insane

#miya atsumu #miya osamu #miyacest

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leviadraws · 2 years

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I’m just gonna splurge some thoughts about the survivors that I need to get out of my head, feel free to ignore this I just need to ramble about them. Obvs spoilers for all of DRA and SDRA2 under the cut (it's long btw).

Usual preface, just my thoughts, not canon confirmation of anything, you're all allowed to tell me I'm wrong/disagree yada yada yada

So one of the things I both love and hate about the DRA survivors in SDRA2 is how little we know about them since the events of DRA. All we get are little quotes let slip from Teruya's POV (and later Rei). And at least in Teruya’s case they’re said so nonchalantly but are also kinda telling of their experiences as adults trying to fight against despair, and how each of them are as adults. This is mostly about what Teruya tells us about Rei and Kinjo, as we do see a lot of Teruya's own personality through the course of the game.

Let’s take some things Teruya says when told that Rei is dead in chapter 2 for example. Not only does he not believe them, but he’s insistent that a) Rei will have contingencies for this and b) they will be rescued.

The way he says it implies that things go wrong in their work, and frequently at that. Rei needs to have plans b, c, and d as plan a rarely goes smoothly.

Also, while you could take his second comment as "Rei survived a killing game too she wouldn't die so easily", considering his spotty memory of his own killing game it's more likely that they've all come near death multiple times since starting the foundation. Which makes sense, put three kids in a war (two of which don't have combat experience) and quite frankly it's a miracle they're not dead yet.

Midori says something similar in the epilogue, so we can gather that people in the foundation do die often enough that it doesn't shock anymore. And by extension, the three of them have gotten injured or close to death themselves before.

I never noticed how calm he is about that statement about being rescued. He's confident. He's been captured before, perhaps a few of them have. And he has, at least, been rescued before.

I also find it kinda funny that at first when his memory of Kinjo is not all there he's still confident they'll be rescued. As time goes on and his memories of Kinjo return he loses hope. Just thinking on that.

Speaking of Kinjo, Teruya's comments of him are...interesting. When he doesn't fully remember him, he's kinda seen the same as Rei. He's confident in Kinjo and his ability to rescue them. But when he starts to get his memories back we get this wonderful snippet.

Oh boy Kinjo. I guess he doesn't believe in rehabilitation at least.

So I think it's important to stress that Teruya truly believes that Kinjo is his friend, and I think that speaks a lot about what Kinjo is like day to day. He's not always how he is in chapter 6, I really don't believe that either Rei or Teruya would stick around for however many years if he was, boss or not.

Especially Teruya, since in Kinjo's bad state he held a gun to Teruya's head and told him to pull the trigger.

It's kinda funny to think that both Rei and Kinjo have tried to kill Teruya. Rei ratted him out in chapter 4 solely to start a fight between him and Haru so they'd kill each other, and Kinjo obvs put a gun to his head. You need better friends /j

So Kinjo is probably relatively as he was in the foundation surrounded by good people (or just not criminals), and is much more ruthless out in the field. This is probably why Teruya and Rei scout on their own, perhaps they saw someone shot down who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time?

On a side note, I do wonder what Teruya is referring to here. There are a few things it could be tbh. Unlike the rest of the cast, he's not been reset in a past self so he knows that what he's seen is a memory, not a current thing. I think it's to do with his dad tbh, he's holding his scarf here after all (psst psst Linuj, when are you gonna tell us what happened there?)

Anyway, back on track. So Kinjo probably isn't crazy all of the time. I personally think that he has good days and bad days and that his physical state is an indication of his mental state, but that's my head cannon I can't prove that.

Man looking through chapter 4 is painful. Am I the only one that thinks Teruya's dark sprites look kinda sad? Like he doesn't really want to do what he's doing. Which kinda makes sense when you think he's being manipulated by Nikei and the entire tower seems entirely set up to trigger him in the worst way possible.

It's at this point that he no longer believes that he's going to be rescued, despite what he tells the others. He believes Rei is dead and doesn't believe that Kinjo will come for him, which leads into something Rei says in chapter 6.

Kinjo has left them for dead before, most likely both of them too. We know that Kinjo believes that the ends justifies any means and I think they have been on the receiving end of it.

But still, (I think) he wants to live, I've seen sometimes people say he's suicidal but I don't think that's the case. It's kinda telling that Yuki yelling "I'd rather die" triggers him enough to want to shoot him. It's only really later that he loses all hope and just kinda, snaps.

I know there's that one quote from chapter 6 he says, it always felt to me that he was just so cornered but still wanted to help, so he did the only thing he could. It does match something he says earlier in chapter 4

I think he values his ability to successfully help others over his continued survival. He's kinda taken Satsuki's words too much to heart, I don't think that she meant for him to carry that guilt all those years.

There's probably an entire thing about his mental state in that chapter that someone could write but that's for another day. All I will say is I'm not too keen on chapter 4 as I felt the whole thing a tad contrived in order for the shock value to keep ramping after chapters 2 and 3.

I guess the last thing we find out about Kinjo is he's changed in the last six months or so, and that was following him confronting his father. It's kinda implied that he's more distant from the other two since that event. Assuming that his contact with Syobai happened around this time, that explains why he would be distant from the other two, as he couldn't have anyone find out what he was doing.

That said, I have a head cannon that Teruya knew he was doing something fishy, but wanted to believe that he was doing it for the right reasons. You don't siphon off Syobai level fees from the company account without the accountant noticing. And considering Kinjo's attitude towards crime I can't imagine he's well versed in covering his tracks well enough to hide it from the ultimate merchant.

Also, that he seems to have trouble discerning the real Yuki from the one he met in the killing game. Despite that Yuki repeatedly telling him so and looking rather uncomfortable about it.

I hope that Linuj covers this in omake, it would be nice for him to have that closure.

I wanna say one last thing about Rei, since she's so underused this game it's actually criminal she doesn't get a lot of screen time or insight into her personality since DRA. We can tell that she's less curt, and more caring in her interactions in the prologue and chapter 6, and that in chapter 5 she's trying her absolute best to get Teruya out. But she still has her initial drive to survive above all else, which is why she keeps the exit code to herself.

But she's also still overconfident, she doesn't tell Teruya about the exit code because she's confident that she can get him out once she's out. And she definitely doesn't or he wouldn't react the way he does when she "dies".

"overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer"

And that's her downfall in the end, she's so confident that plan b, c, or d will work that she doesn't consider what will happen if she does fail.

Last bit while I was looking at other stuff, while she is blaming Kinjo here I think she's also talking to herself. After all, she's the one who left him there without a contingency plan. As we saw before, he's always relied on her in these kind of scenarios.

It's kinda funny, the only person Kinjo saved was Rei, and the only person Rei saved was Yoruko. One each, out of 32.

Damn now I'm sad. Anyway, if you've read this far congrats I guess? As I said before this is just some personal thoughts, you are free to disagree. I just really like it when things are left open to interpretation. I love these three a lot.

#loz talks #sdra2 #sdra2 spoilers #dra spoilers #look I just have a lot of thoughts about them ok #cw death mention #cw gun #teruya otori #rei mekaru #tsurugi kinjo #I wrote this last night in a frenzy so have some brain splurge #going through chapters 4-6 brings me nothing but pain so Imma go forget that happens now /lh /hj

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scoops404 · 2 years

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2022 Fic Re-Cap

I posted this over on Twitter but it deserves to be here, too. I'm ordering my fics from this year from my least favorite to my absolute favorite (though I love them all) - feel free to disagree. (and if you are clicking these links, check tags, all are NSFW)

#8 - Are You Feeling Better Now? - A fun fic that I wrote and posted in one day to prove I could. Very topical after George's steroid shot in the butt. Some weird size kink slipped in there, but they're in love

#7 To Keep Off Envy's Stingin' - Part of an a/b/o challenge and with two tropes I don't usually write - alpha/alpha and established relationship. This was so fun and such a different thing for me to write. Dream omega coding himself

#6 Like Moses at the Burning Bush - My take on secondhand embarrassment and very successful per the comments. A different take on the FaceTime video where George sees Dream's face for the first time.

#5 Sweet Nothing - An AU - childhood best friends to strangers to lovers to roommates to lovers again. Dream is just out of a bad relationship and can't give George his all until he pieces himself back together

#4 Presently In London - My favorite of the one-shots. I always wanted more Dream goes to London fics so I wrote my own. Contains a little fraud between bros and Dream surprising George on his front step.

#3 I've Never Fallen from Quite This High - The story that introduced me to my friends, taught me how to write *my* way, and helped me find my style. George's mom's (an OC obvs) divorce rocks his world and makes him question everything

#2 The Curse and Cure of the Internet - Certainly the most self-indulgent and *fun* thing to write. A thank you to the fandom. Dream writes fanfiction and has a story blow-up Heatwaves style. George knights him with his dick.

#1 Deep in the Dream of a Game - Minecraft AU - action adventure with lots of familiar faces. MCC goes awry and 40 of our CCs wind up in the game, fighting for survival and to go home. Can they beat the Ender Dragon? SO fun to write

#DNF fanfiction #dreamnotfound #dreamnotfound fanfiction #fic recs

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rainbowsky · 2 years

Note

Hi 🌈sky!

I respectfully disagree with you on the stage situation.

https://twitter.com/devkxx/status/1640402462468341762?s=46&t=syHIf795WX9pVKa0yxO76g

Hate is a strong word so i dont think it’s hate but rather “discomfort” maybe? I dont think gg hates her, never in fact. But it’s quite probable (in my own perspective obvs) that he’s been annoyed with this situation for quite some time. I don’t think he would agree on “appeasing” fans at all considering he and his team must have already foreseen the outcome (hot search etc.). On the other hand, although this doesnt really affect me as a turtle as i long has been szd, it sort of feels like a “slap” to turtle if i was to entertain the idea that gg agreed on the standing side by side with yz on the stage as it was something that im sure he knew that turtles had been excited for ggdd to finally share stage prior to the event (and it didnt happen)

Hi Anon! 😊

This is in reference to a previous post.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

I feel like the point of my post has been missed, here. I don't want to lose sight of that point by digging into a big debate about whether GG would agree to stand beside YZ or not. It's not the point of what I'm trying to say.

For years turtles have indulged in hate toward YZ, and have spun detailed narratives about how horrible and manipulative she is, and how much GG hates and resents her behavior. I myself have fallen prey to some of these narratives.

I do agree with you that the GG/YZ ship has caused him some headaches. However it's a tiny, tiny group of people, and it's a somewhat inevitable outcome of having starred in a romance drama alongside her. It just goes with the territory.

Any way you slice it, GG and YZ were voted king and queen and didn't take the stage in that role. I think it would be entirely too charitable toward Weibo to assume they'd just pass it over to someone else without being given anything in return. I personally suspect this shared stage at the finale was what they agreed to. Perhaps not side by side - I'll concede that the clip makes him appear puzzled to be pushed next to her - but on the same final stage.

There's no doubt that these things are negotiated up front, as a condition of attendance. Stars aren't going to agree to appear at an event without agreeing in advance to what is going to take place, so whether it's side by side or as a group but not together, GG agreed to stand on the same stage as her.

And whether or not he agreed to stand next to her, it's utterly undeniable that he voluntarily waited for her to get to the stage and urged her take the stage ahead of him, he interacted with her in a friendly way, he chatted with her as they were leaving the stage. If the turtle narrative about him not wanting anything to do with her was true, there's no way he would have done any of that.

It's all right there in the clip I shared.

As for your last bit there about it being a 'slap' to turtles that GG would agree to appear onstage with her but not appear onstage with DD - that's something I deeply disagree with. I have said this over and over again throughout the lead-up to Weibo Night - turtles need to be realistic about what they think they're going to see.

It was never a guarantee that GG and DD would appear on the same stage, and any thought of an interaction was a wild pipe-dream. Any disappointment any turtle feels about it is a result of their own unrealistic expectations. DD didn't even stay for the whole event, as he had to return to filming. We should all consider ourselves lucky that we got to see him at all.

The event wasn't about their relationship, and they didn't appear there as a couple. It was an industry event.

You're free to interpret things however you like, and you're free to approach fandom however you like. I'm just expressing my own thoughts on this, and stating why I think turtles as a fandom have been unfairly awful to YZ, when as far as I can tell GG gets along with her just fine.

The entire point of my post was to highlight the way turtles treat GG and DD's female friends and colleagues. It's unacceptable in my eyes. It's awful. I don't think GG and DD would be proud of our behavior.

Let's not obscure that key point by focusing on our own hurt feelings about unrealistic expectations.

I ask that people don't send me more messages about this topic unless you have something major to add to the discussion that you can't simply state in the notes. I don't want my day to be taken up with this topic. Thanks.

#ggdd entertainment circle #weibo night 2022 #bxg perspectives #bxg fact checking #fandom reflections #it's in the air it's all around #ask

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dogshit-enchantment · 10 months

Text

My 2023 video game year-in review (aka I'm just yelling into the void don't mind me lol)

Game Of The Year: Little Goody Two Shoes. I'm at about the halfway point but I have just been so completely and thoroughly impressed with it at every turn. The writing is exceptional, the story itself is incredible, the graphics??? Obsessed. AND THE MUSIC. AUGH THE MUSIC GOES SO HARD!!!!!!!!! And the fact that it's gay??? chefs kiss.

Honorable Mention(s): Pikmin 4 (the love of my life, I love you oatchi you are my babiest baby boy. Literally the only reason it's not my goty is just because rpg maker style games rule my heart), Vampire Survivors (switch co-op is so fucking pog), Harvestella (2022 game but I beat it in early 2023 so it counts for something), Fear & Hunger (not a 2023 game but that's when I played it. I love you, Funger)

Most Anticipated: Tears of the Kingdom which. If you've read any of my previous posts about it you'll know I did not enjoy it. TOTK now stands as the second-ever zelda game I didn't bother to finish. (First being Wind Waker but only because my fear of the sea/getting the triforce pieces in the gamecube ver was SO HARD FOR NO REASON. Love Windwaker so much, my not-finishing-it is a me problem, where as with TOTK it's a game problem)

Award Of Most Mid: Tried Fall Guys at a friends place and gotta say, it's just mid. Frustrating enough to not be fun but not frustrating or rewarding enough to warrant a feeling of real challenge/desire for mastery.

Worst Game: Didn't come out this year obvs, but Disco Elysium for switch. Controls are dogshit, text is illegible when on a tv not even 6 feet away, and the way that the stats are explained (or rather, not explained at all) is super frustrating given how shitty/infrequent the autosave is! The plot itself is probably fine, and the world building is interesting, but the game attached to it feels like something off of an early 2000s rpg, and I don't mean that in a good way. While Fear & Hunger gets an honorable mention despite being even harder, there's something about it that sets it aside from Disco. Funger is a game where you're meant to die, and often. While Disco feels like a game where you're not supposed to die, and doing so puts you back as far as the last time you saved. The game doesn't take care to set checkpoints or a reset spot because it's not meant to happen. Funger is a game where you're meant to die/retry so of course theres limited saving, thats the point. Intentional vs Unintentional difficulty/unfairness

anyway these are my personal opinions, feel free to disagree with them if i liked/disliked a game you feel opposite about.

#rambling

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foreverandmoretarot · 1 year

Text

about me // ★

thank you sm for stopping by! my names aze

and this is my blog foreverandmoretarot!!

basics // ★

i use any pronouns, but have a little preference for he/him, but obv anything works :D

im 18 yo, a sun aries/moon leo/ascending sagittarius. tbh ik shit about astrology so hope that means smt positive sksjd

im nigerian & polish-russian

an avid kpop stan <33 my ults are bts, nwjns, and iz*one. biases are jk stream seven, hyein+hanni, and hitomi

spiritual background // ★

i started w shifting, in late 2020 after a friend introduced me. crystals came up as a way to boost shifting so i learned about it along w pendulums

then somewhere along the line i got interested in soulmates and the whole idea of a fated love from a past life. i got super into it, bought a pendulum and started experiencing w that whole realm. then a shit ton of crystals later on, tarot decks, and now im into beginner witchcraft!

just a heads up the whole soulmate thing is still a very big part of my spiritual journey and will take up a portion of this blog. little rambles, signs i get from him, poems i write for him to read in the future, me missing him 24/7, and anything related will get posted here and if you find that cringey or odd you dont need to read my work :)

ill probably make a post in the future on all the lovely things about us to give yall some background info. just knows hes a big flirt

i want to stress i am still VERY new to this. i can't guarantee anything i say is factual, its just me learning and having fun! please dont take my readings and let it influence your perceptions irl

i love hearing your takes on my readings so feel free to agree, disagree, add side comments, etc

the spiritual topics i enjoy and may dwelve into: tarot, divination, oneirology (dreams), intuition readings, and of course soulmate/past life connections

and heres a song im currently obsessed w

#Spotify #about my blog #introduction #first post #hello there #foreverandmore #aze #tarot cards #tarot #tarot community #beginner witch #divination #bts

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punkscowardschampions · 1 year

Text

Jali

Ali: [Private to Johnny, an appropriate amount of time after this drama which is probably nearing a week-ish because you’re young and you didn’t actually do it so you’re not giving him that much space lol]

Ali: Did you finish fixing the bike?

Johnny: More or less

Ali: You got the [a part he was going to have to go get after your fixing sesh]?

Johnny: Not as advertised, but I sourced another, like

Ali: So, is it possible for you to still take me?

Johnny: When is it you’re looking to go?

Ali: Whenever you’re free to, day wise

Ali: [tell him visiting hours because I am sure they exist]

Johnny: [tell her when works for you because idk what job you’ve got hun I’m not a gypsy boy] then

Ali: Perfect, thank you

Johnny: Be [tell her where to meet you cos obvs you aren’t gonna encourage her to come to the site or pick her up from her gaff where her fam could be cos they need to mind their business about this] in plenty good time, say [a time]

Ali: Sounds good 🙃

Ali: Are you like the foreman, you should be, you’re very efficient

Johnny: We’ve both somewhere to be and your brother’ll be waiting on you, so on me to get you there

Ali: You don’t have to be respectful, plenty aren’t

Johnny: Disrespecting your brother is same as disrespecting you, to my family, that’s how it works

Johnny: and neither you nor he have done nothing to earn it off me

Ali: It’s a good philosophy, similar to my own

Ali: just not used to it, especially when it comes to Joe lately

Johnny: I know, I’ve a good head on good shoulders

Ali: It feels like I’m being such a suck-up to agree but I have no current need to disagree so

Ali: do with that what you will

Johnny: Warm myself with it through this summer rain

Ali: but summer rain is the best, you can be out in it and enjoy it without risking the hypothermia

Johnny: You would say that, you’re out in it to enjoy the thing

Ali: Work ruins everything, I suppose

Ali: Do you like what you do?

Johnny: It’s steady enough, I like that about it

Johnny: work can be slow in coming, that’ll ruin more

Ali: all I have’s a paper round so it isn’t comparable

Ali: I thought perhaps you’d been busy recently

Johnny: You’re not to have that, compared to girls I know

Ali: Would make you an easy target for a serial killer type but any job with a route and set time of day does that, if you think about it

Ali: that is much more fun in the summer, rain or otherwise at least there’s light

Johnny: Am I to think of you?

Ali: If I get murdered?

Ali: It would be quite insulting if you didn’t spare me a single thought, yes

Johnny: Sure I’d want to crash 1 of your weddings than your funerals

Ali: 1 of, how many will I be having?

Johnny: Your lot, not your own, you know

Ali: Ohh, yeah that does make more sense

Ali: you don’t know about my whole resurrection skills yet, the funeral was also plural

Johnny: Do I want to know?

Ali: Sure your man Jesus did it, how can it be wrong? 😁

Johnny: You’re not my man Jesus nor his mammy even

Ali: 💔

Ali: Have you met anyone that’s getting hitched yet, or are we just crashing [a local venue that is the place people go to get married etc]?

Johnny: You tell me, if you’ve the sight or other blasphemous skills to be claiming for yourself, will we?

Ali: 🔮

Ali: Only if the crowd is spilling out onto the street, can’t be showing up to a quiet 50 person guestlist affair

Johnny: Yous have weddings where only 50 people come?

Ali: 😂 I know, can you believe it?

Johnny: Seriously, this a wind up or no?

Ali: Deadly, boy

Ali: Some just go to the registry office with themselves and 2 witnesses, no party, nothing

Johnny: I’ve nothing to say of that, I can’t work it out for why yous people are the way you are

Ali: Well I would never do that, not for any of my weddings

Ali: some people have shit luck, no family, no friends, just that person, I guess?

Johnny: You said you weren’t marrying last we said anything of it

Ali: but now you’ve given me the idea of having lots of elaborate ones

Ali: I’ll invite you, you won’t have to crash

Johnny: You are a girl, the bike only tried to have me thinking different, but there it is in you

Ali: You already knew I liked parties

Ali: and dressing up

Johnny: Yeah, true enough

Ali: I think you like me more when you don’t think of me as a girl

Johnny: I don’t think I like what you’re saying of me there, it’d have me disowned to prefer lads

Ali: That is not what I meant

Johnny: And it’s not true I’m one of them

Ali: I don’t think you’re gay

Johnny: You think you’re not girl enough for me, which is true

Ali: No, I think you can see being friends with me when you let yourself forget I am one, what that should mean

Johnny: Us being what we are isn’t something I should let happen at all

Ali: No one else cares

Ali: if anyone did, just point out how un-girl I am, if it wasn’t as obvious to them as it is you

Johnny: I care

Ali: Just tell me why

Johnny: It’s not right

Ali: You’re allowed to be friends with who you want, aren’t you

Ali: as long as I don’t disrespect you and your family and you don’t mine

Johnny: You’ve too many friends already and how you behave with ‘em don’t make you an un-girl, it just makes you a girl who’s a state

Ali: You wouldn’t have anything to care about or not let happen if you disliked me all that much

Johnny: I dislike how you act, in a way I can’t be putting aside to like you yourself

Ali: If I acted how you want a girl to act, you wouldn’t know me

Johnny: I shouldn’t know you, you shouldn’t be mixing with us how you are

Ali: Well I apologize but the others are happy to be my friend

Johnny: Too many is what I already said, yeah

Ali: It’s you who can’t envision a wedding with only 50 guests, there’s no such thing as too many friends

Johnny: Maybe we use the word different from each other

Ali: There’s levels to it

Ali: Not everyone is my closest confidant

Johnny: Don’t worry yourself on us needing to find common ground here

Ali: Heaven forbid

Johnny: You can be friendly as you like with the others, none are listening to my warnings on the matter, so

Ali: I know I can

Ali: you can keep trying to warn them likewise

Johnny: You’re girl enough you can’t tell me what to do

Ali: Unlike you, I wasn’t trying to

Ali: that’s not how I talk to people, friends or otherwise

Johnny: There’s your warning not to try to

Ali: Why would I want to control you?

Johnny: What you want don’t matter, other than seeing your brother, which we’re done with each other after it is

Ali: We could be done with each other now, you didn’t have to say yes

Ali: I don’t know why you would if you think I’m so awful

Johnny: I’ve said it, I’ll go on and follow through for doing it

Ali: Seriously, don’t trouble yourself

Johnny: It’s no trouble

Ali: That’s just not true so

Johnny: It’s true enough

Ali: I don’t need you to do a favour for me because you feel sorry for me

Johnny: I don’t feel sorry for you

Ali: What else would you call it?

Johnny: It isn’t about you no more, it’s about saying I’d do something and being good for the doing of it, that’s what a man does

Ali: I don’t owe you a chance to prove what a decent man you are, not if it comes at the expense of letting you insult me, which isn’t what a good person does, end of

Johnny: Be there when I said, Ali, there’s your chance to see your brother

Ali: I’ve got the time and place

Johnny: Yeah

Ali: I hope you only get rained on in the worst ways

Johnny: Sure you could use your powers to have it be rotten out, or lightning to strike, from what I’ve heard talk of

Ali: If you believed it, you’d be nicer

Johnny: I’m not scared of no girl, whatever it is she’s done

Ali: Proving how stupid prejudice always is…

Johnny: Watch what names you call me

Ali: I didn’t call you anything

Ali: but the idea of not being scared of someone who’s allegedly tried to kill someone, just because of what is or isn’t in their pants

Johnny: You called me stupid, but you wouldn’t be able to hurt me without getting hurt yourself, ‘cause you are a little girl, it don’t matter what else you’re trying to be

Ali: I don’t have any desire to hurt you, I didn’t say I did at any point

Ali: but if you’re going to be so Mr Darcy, you may as well get soaked

Johnny: You know what you said, and I know I’ve no reason to be scared of you

Ali: Am I a friend of the world or the big bad, I don’t see how or why I would try to be both

Johnny: You don’t know who you are, it’s how you’re the state you are

Ali: Well why don’t you stick around and keep telling me, isn’t that what a man would do, save the little girl?

Johnny: Gorja girls like you can’t be told or saved

Ali: Ah, there we go then

Johnny: Ah stop with thinking you can be everything to everyone

Ali: What else would I do?

Johnny: See, you can’t be told

Ali: You can’t tell me to stop and give me no alternative

Johnny: You can’t be more than the 1 girl but there you go giving it a lash still

Ali: And don’t you feel like you have to be something, someone, that isn’t always feasible?

Johnny: We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you

Ali: We could be talking about both of us

Johnny: There’s no us

Johnny: I’m not the same as you

Ali: No but you put pressure on yourself to be who the others need, who you think you’re meant to be, no?

Ali: Why can’t I

Johnny: You encourage the fuck ups, I don’t

Ali: Or you want someone to tell you you’re only one lad

Johnny: What have you said to Carly about Moses? What have you said to Ronan for following you ‘round?

Johnny: you don’t do nothing to help nothing ‘cause you want ‘em all to be your mate & like you

Ali: Wow, thanks for that devastating read of my failings as a person

Ali: but you telling Moses and Ronan to stop what they’re doing, hasn’t and isn’t going to get them to stop, so wouldn’t you be a lot happier if you realised you can only control your own actions?

Johnny: Grow yourself up

Ali: I’m a child, and so are you

Johnny: Yous get to be children ‘til you’ve had your own, and after, look at [Carly’s mum], you’re all messes

Ali: Sure must be fun being perfect

Johnny: I’m not that, I’m just not bothering myself if people don’t like me how you are, needing everyone to feel the sun shines out of you

Ali: You think you’re doing something right if everyone dislikes you, because no one but you wants to do the right thing

Johnny: Moses needed a smack and say you cared about Carly at all you’d give her a smack too before the stupid girl gets herself in proper trouble batting her eyelashes at the lads can’t get her out of

Ali: People get themselves into trouble, no matter how much you care, you can care ‘til it kills you too

Johnny: We’ve all our graves to go to, better caring puts you in than not bothering yourself and being eaten up for it

Ali: I care

Johnny: You care to make yourself look good, to be cared about, you’ll never do nothing that’d make you unpopular

Ali: Fuck you

Ali: I’m there when people like you have washed your hands

Johnny: You’re there for what, a party?

Ali: Whatever they need

Ali: do you think it’s going to be a party on the psych ward?

Johnny: Maybe, none of it’s real

Ali: What the fuck is ‘real’?

Johnny: You would say that, you don’t know life no more than your brother does, you’ve a paper round and your own dealers

Ali: Who knew drug dealers exploited child labour like the rest of the world, really think they’d have more morals

Ali: Some boys I go to school with hand out fun drugs for kids, it’s not like I’m giving the cartel their Sunday papers

Johnny: I’m saying you don’t take nothing serious, so there you’ve only backed me

Johnny: hippies and punks don’t exist now, you know

Ali: Why do you want to fit in so badly

Johnny: Why do you have to stand out? You need everyone’s attention so badly, it’s a disgrace, like

Ali: No one else is as bothered to have to give it to me as you

Johnny: Aren’t you shamed of yourself?

Ali: For being interesting, trying to be someone everyone can like

Johnny: For being as needy as you are for it

Ali: Shame for what you need just makes you suppress it until you can’t, then you really act out

Johnny: And you really acting out looks like what?

Ali: I don’t know, I get what I need

Johnny: Do you?

Ali: I’m not scared to ask for it, to openly want it

Johnny: You’ve everything you want then, is it?

Ali: Of course not

Johnny: No, you’ve not, for all your asking

Ali: So, why bother asking, right?

Ali: Don’t you, of all people, think that we should get to carve our own path, make our own way, not just take what we’re given and shut up about it

Johnny: I do make my own way, you don’t shut up but you’re standing still surrounded by all your friends, maybe it’s you can’t get past ‘em how many there are

Ali: You say family are important, tradition

Ali: Why should I want to be alone, isolated?

Johnny: She’s not your family, mine isn’t, go the fuck home, Ali

Ali: She hasn’t got one, as you’ve pointed out many a time

Johnny: She’s got her ma

Ali: and we can choose each other, to have more than what we were born into

Ali: It shouldn’t be any of your concern, if yours is so fucking solid

Johnny: They’d choose to pack up if you weren’t here all the time

Ali: Yeah, you want them to go the fuck home like it exists

Ali: the site politics aren’t my business, if they really have to go, then someone more senior than you can let them know, can’t they

Johnny: They can have a house, it’s not their traditions

Ali: Look, I actually get it

Ali: search me why the fuck [Carly’s mum] settled there but she’s not exactly reasonable

Ali: but why do you have to punish Carly for it, like she chose any of it?

Johnny: She has chose to make a holy show of herself

Ali: Like you said, they aren’t travellers, they shouldn’t live on a traveller site

Ali: she doesn’t have to comply with your way of living, but why can’t someone make [Carly’s mum] see she should go?

Johnny: She don’t listen to reason, you said it before I have, but when we get pushed past our reason, something bad will happen

Ali: Carly told me what you said

Johnny: I’ve not talked to her

Ali: About torching their caravan

Johnny: Sure, I’ve not talked to her

Ali: Oh

Ali: then someone else has threatened her, the morning after, she told me

Johnny: It’s good she’s been warned, whoever it were by

Ali: How can you say that’s good

Johnny: No warning and it’s done without, she’s dead when she could’ve been off

Ali: That’s a threat, not a warning

Johnny: Some people feel the need to make threats when their warnings go unheard and she’s had ‘em before now

Ali: That’s all I need to know

Johnny: There then, you know it all

Ali: I’ll get her to see, she can stay with me until her mum finds a place

Johnny: It’s best that way, nobody wants to see her hurt

Ali: You can’t really claim that when you condone burning her out

Johnny: As long as they don’t stay they won’t be

Ali: I can’t force them but I’ll try

Ali: now I know you’re serious

Johnny: It’s only words for now, no actions

Ali: You don’t get to try and soften it, it is what it is and that’s a threat

Ali: I’ll make sure she knows that, she thinks the rest of them care about her, for fuck’s sake

Johnny: She’s some dope that girl

Ali: She’s innocent

Johnny: No, she’s a whore

Ali: and all your cousins and brothers will use her until they decide her reputation is too bad and she has to go

Johnny: She made her bed by lying with Moses in his

Ali: She likes him!

Ali: If he doesn’t like her that makes him the one in the wrong, if we’re throwing those stones

Johnny: She made herself available to be used, that’s her fault

Ali: That doesn’t absolve them of any of their wrongdoings and you know that

Ali: blame a temptress all you want but you still get tempted

Johnny: I’m not tempted

Ali: It’s normal, people want to have sex

Johnny: You called it wrongdoings, I didn’t

Ali: You called her a whore, I was appealing to your piety

Ali: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her wanting them or them wanting her, you do

Johnny: It’s not the act, it’s the trouble it’ll lead to

Johnny: you know she’s not to be trusted not to cause it

Ali: Don’t all teenagers have relationship drama?

Ali: If it wasn’t so about the blame game, half of it would be resolved and it would just be feelings getting hurt, that’s life

Johnny: Their lives have a proper path and it’s not getting banged up by Carly

Ali: She won’t do that, she didn’t even tell me about the threat of being burned in her bed like it was serious, that isn’t her

Johnny: She’s a worst state than any gorja girl I’ve met before, I don’t know what she’ll do

Ali: She’s messed up, yeah

Ali: but she’s sweet and you shouldn’t be scared of her, she’s scared of you

Johnny: She should be scared of me, her carrying on

Ali: Find her inbox if you insist on this carry on

Ali: I’m not scared of you

Johnny: You don’t need to be scared of me

Ali: Why not, I’m just like her

Johnny: You’re not as bad as her

Ali: That’s so insulting

Johnny: Why?

Ali: Because I try SO hard to be unique and fascinating, obviously

Johnny: Only insulting if you want to be as bad as her

Ali: You may as well continue insulting me, it’s become expected

Johnny: You wouldn’t know what to do with the opposite

Ali: Says you

Johnny: You said you don’t expect it

Ali: Yeah, all you do is slag me off

Johnny: Isn’t all I do

Ali: To my face, anyway

Johnny: Come on, I let you help with the bike

Ali: Let me help… meaning I helped you, that’s me

Johnny: I didn’t tell you you couldn’t

Ali: Which is handy because I can

Johnny: Jesus, you helped, I admit it

Ali: Pulling 🦷🦷

Ali: I didn’t ask you to admit it in front of anyone, did I

Johnny: Not yet

Ali: Contrary to your perception of me, I don’t need everyone to know I can hold a 🔧 and not just look pretty doing it

Ali: Besides, I had metalwork with both of them so they already know

Johnny: You would take metalwork

Ali: And I have my own bike, not that you asked

Ali: well, we all share it but none of the others care about it anymore and the baby is too little

Johnny: Go on, you can’t tell me you’ve a bike and nothing about it

Ali: [tell him about this dirtbike you have like we did as children because your father is my father like that so you would probably have had a couple but literally who else is wanting it now so you just kept the one]

Johnny: [idk but nerd out asking her about it, like what the tea of it is and what needs fixing etc etc because you clearly are into this stuff too]

Ali: [god bless y’all nerds but me and my boo are not going to pretend to know what we’re talking about but you both do and can lol]

Johnny: [just here offering to swag it up for her with different parts and hacks in ways I know nothing about because he loves her]

Ali: When can I bring it over?

Johnny: When my bike’s done, there’s still some things I need to finish before [whenever he’s taking her to visit Joseph]

Ali: You can ask for help

Ali: won’t even make a thing out of it

Johnny: You’re to have her off site not yourself be on

Ali: I’m not just leaving my baby with you though, I want to help

Johnny: Every other girl is after a surprise but you

Ali: Sorry I called you predictable and now you’re after showing me you aren’t

Johnny: When did you call me predictable?

Ali: Your insults being expected, it’s sort of the same thing

Johnny: I’ll put it aside

Ali: Big of you

Johnny: We’d only be back to insulting each other, predictably

Ali: Isn’t it more fun when you don’t see them coming

Johnny: Is it now?

Johnny: Telling of you, would it not be more fun to not see the changes to your bike coming?

Ali: I’m not sure I trust you like that

Johnny: It’s no threat to cut your brakes

Ali: You would say that if you were trying to have me slam into a lamppost

Johnny: I don’t want it, you hurt

Ali: You don’t want to see anyone hurt, I know

Johnny: I’ll steal it to do what needs to be done, you know

Ali: 😲

Ali: You don’t even know where I live

Johnny: Ro knows so I know, I’ll get it out of him before you’ve yourself from bed in the night to see your bike stole

Ali: I’ll tell him to 🤐 or else

Johnny: I’ll be at him to tell me or else, how confident are you?

Ali: 🤔

Ali: nah, I’d say I’d feel safe putting a bet on it

Johnny: How will you feel him taking a smack for you?

Ali: Is that really the only way to achieve your goal? 🙄

Johnny: You can quit being a messer and say yeah to being surprised by the bike, it’s unstolen, he’s unsmacked

Ali: You liked fixing it with me

Johnny: You’ll like what I do to it

Ali: Maybe

Johnny: Maybe I know the whereabouts of a [really old/rare bike or car] we can work on together, but you have to say yeah to this, or sure, you’re never touching it

Ali: So you were holding out the big guns on me

Ali: 🔫 okay

Johnny: Say it for proper, on you go

Ali: Tell me when you’ve finished with yours and I’ll drop mine

Johnny: I’ll get it, you’ll strand yourself from leaving it here and no girl should be walking in the night

Ali: You make me laugh sometimes

Johnny: Laugh but it’s what’s to happen

Ali: like, I could come in the day, even if you’re not there, or you could give me a lift home, there are so many other options but sure, alright

Johnny: Options you thought up yourself ‘cause you don’t want me to have mine

Ali: No, you can come over

Ali: I could invite you in, wouldn’t that be fun

Johnny: Christ, I can think up for myself how that’d be

Ali: 😁😁😁

Ali: Don’t act like you don’t want to stay for tea

Johnny: You’ve a daddy unlike her, do you want me to get in trouble?

Ali: What could you get in trouble for, fixing [whatever is wrong with our bike]?

Johnny: Ah give over

Ali: Cute

Johnny: Don’t start none of your sugar with me, I’ve told you it don’t work

Ali: so I can tell my daddy that, can’t I

Johnny: Best you do

Ali: Can I say funny if I can’t say cute?

Johnny: Why are you after saying either?

Ali: Best you stop acting it if you can’t hack it

Johnny: Laying it on with a trowel now

Ali: Oh, please, that’s nothing

Johnny: To you it might not be, girl

Ali: Oh, please x2

Ali: You’ll have heard worse/better loads of times over

Johnny: Well maybe it’s something to me what you say

Ali: Is it?

Johnny: You’re not careful with what you do

Ali: so what I say must be the same

Johnny: Is it?

Ali: No

Ali: but I know that’s what you believe

Johnny: I don’t know, Ali

Ali: I talk too much, yeah, everyone agrees

Johnny: Maybe, but you’re a proper enough girl for that, all of ‘em talk and talk

Ali: How many sisters do you have?

Johnny: [He’s saying 4 but he’s doing it by naming them, if you know what I mean, which I won’t commit us to because soz gals none of you are relevant cos you’re either already married or not allowed to associate with cali anyway]

Ali: And are you the oldest or just the oldest boy?

Johnny: [again namedrop the sister/sisters that’s older because I vibe at least one of them is if not a couple of, why not, you’re only like 16-18 yourself sir so it’s feasible]

Ali: They’ve already had their weddings then

Johnny: They’re onto having children now

Ali: so you’re an uncle

Ali: I don’t know if any of my siblings will have children… 🤔

Johnny: [tell her about how many nieces or nephews you have at this point and what they are called and how old they are, a casual rundown how you do, but again I don’t need to commit us cos not relevant and I doubt there’s that many of them yet, you’ve your whole lives ladies, calm down, lol]

Ali: They must be the ones I’ve seen playing out, they’re cute

Johnny: Why are we talking about this?

Ali: I’m a tourist, aren’t I

Johnny: And the babies aren’t part of the travelling circus you’re here to see

Ali: It was a joke but okay, change the subject

Johnny: It’s a touchy subject, the next generation of us, nobody can say what the future’ll be like

Ali: If there’s one thing you have, it’s strong tradition

Johnny: But there’s less room for it, or for any of us

Ali: You’ve lasted thousands of years

Johnny: Things are changing, to houses, marrying gorjas, or not marrying at all and girls working

Ali: Evolving doesn’t necessarily mean destroying, forgetting

Johnny: ‘Cept when it does

Ali: That’s to be worked out

Ali: and you can still keep all the traditions you want personally

Johnny: It’s not personal choice, it’s who we are

Ali: If you can live within that, some people can’t stay in the family they were born into or the community

Johnny: For doing wrong, you can’t make it out like it’s the right thing

Ali: There are reasons that are valid

Johnny: You would say that, you’ve only your own rules

Ali: I have personal knowing that sometimes it’s the right thing to do

Johnny: You don’t have personal knowing of my community, or of being born into a family that weren’t already a mess though, do you?

Ali: It’d be a worse mess if my da hadn’t left his at 15

Ali: but no, I don’t claim to know your community beyond my outsider perspective

Johnny: We’re too different not to be outsiders to each other

Ali: We’re both sat here in a heavily Christian country that holds lots of the same family values you do

Ali: no, I don’t find your culture that wildly different, sorry, like

Johnny: You don’t hold them

Ali: Have you ever feckin’ asked?

Ali: You don’t know what I value, you assume based on seeing me at some parties, ah how much of the pub comes there right after Church on sunday?

Johnny: Not my fault your behaviour speaks for you, like

Ali: I’m not aiming for sainthood

Ali: and judge me all you like, your opinion of me has nothing to do with who I actually am

Johnny: Who you are isn’t what I need to worry myself about

Ali: As if I asked you to

Johnny: I’ve some hard graft I’m busy with

Ali: Alright, see you around then

Johnny: When you’re there at [wherever they are meeting for this Joseph visit, bold assumption she’s still gonna turn up when you’ve been this much of a dick but] I’ll see you

Ali: A lots been said since then

Johnny: Not you don’t want to go no more

Ali: Of course I do but this is about your words

Johnny: I won’t be saying nothing then, I’ll have my mind on the getting you there

Ali: And you have nothing to say to me anyway, right

Johnny: Nothing you’re really after hearing

Ali: S’funny you think you have the first clue but no

Ali: sure that’s right regardless

Johnny: We don’t have to be friends for me to take you

Ali: You’ve said

Ali: if you’re so hung up on keeping your word then fine, we’ll get it over with and I’ll make more permanent arrangements somehow

Johnny: We can have it as an arrangement between us

Ali: but what’s in that for you?

Johnny: Keeps the bike running, sometimes I’m too busy to go off and it’s sat about longer than’s good for it

Ali: Fuck it then, alright

Johnny: [the day of this visit] then, every or every other

Ali: Are you able to wait for me, because I don’t know how long he’ll even want me there

Johnny: I’ll wait, yeah

Ali: Thanks

Ali: don’t worry I won’t be crying or anything else awkward for you

Johnny: If crying’s what you need to do, don’t trouble yourself about me, I’ve seen it before

Ali: I heard, you have sisters

Ali: I’m not going to

Johnny: I know to look away before it’s awkward for you, so

Ali: Awkward for who?

Johnny: Neither of us, you’ll be on the back, I’ll not see you

Ali: Crying isn’t something that’s really done much in my house, just the baby

Johnny: You’re not in your house, and you’re supposed to be a free spirit or whatever, no?

Ali: I can think of more entertaining ways to go against the status quo

Johnny: Betting you can, but the psych ward’s probably not going to be fun and games

Ali: It’s not about me, it’s about how he’s finding it

Johnny: You’ll still find there’s a impact on you too

Ali: I’ve heard and seen it before, s’okay

Johnny: Go careful, will you?

Ali: How? I don’t have a choice, he’s still my brother

Johnny: I know, but you’re only a little girl

Johnny: and I don’t mean it in a putting the wind up you or an insulting way for this time

Ali: You’re not that much older than me

Johnny: I am

Ali: not old enough to call me that

Johnny: I could be a year older and call you that, it’s about more than birthdays had

Ali: and I’m not little, trust me

Johnny: Size of you is, compared to me, and sure to everyone else in that place

Ali: I wouldn’t ask you to come in, if you think I will

Johnny: I’m just asking you to think, keep yourself safe

Ali: I am, they’re just sick people, I’ll be safe

Ali: you’ll be right outside

Johnny: I don’t want it, you hurt, that’s true of on site or off

Ali: I believe you, for this time

Johnny: Yeah though, I’ll be outside

Ali: Maybe thinking about that does make me feel better

Johnny: You’re to keep it in mind then

Ali: I will

Ali: and I won’t rush to replace you, unfortunately for you

Johnny: It won’t be too bad for me

Ali: Get to keep the bike ticking over, yeah

Johnny: It’s important, you know

Ali: I know

Johnny: I’d come in, if you ever need to ask

Ali: I reckon that would be more awkward than you coming in for tea but

Ali: I’ll keep that in mind too

Johnny: Offer’s on the table, don’t matter if you never take me up on it or you do

Ali: I know how it matters, what does

Ali: I owe you, whether you like it or not

Johnny: There’ll be times I like it and times I don’t

Ali: I’ll work out how to make it actually pay back and not burden you

Ali: cash is off the table, leaves a lot I can try

Johnny: Don’t you be filling my mind with the likes of what you could get yourself up to

Ali: but please

Ali: My own head’s too full

Johnny: I’ve got work, should be where my head is

Ali: Isn’t work just what you’re occupying your hands with if you’re doing it right?

Ali: Not once am I thinking about my school work whilst I’m doing it, your head is your own

Johnny: Maybe I’m not old enough to let my hands do it all themselves how my da and uncle can

Ali: You’re an apprentice still, that makes sense

Johnny: No, what that word means to yous lot’s lads as messers isn’t what I am, but there’s things to be learning all the time ‘til you’re old as they are

Ali: You’re sharp, it’ll stick

Johnny: It has stuck when you’re not ‘round distracting us

Ali: I’ve come nowhere near in ages

Johnny: You’re here now, talking too much

Ali: I’m being restrained, have you know

Ali: but fine, lock me in your thoughts ‘til you get off the clock

Johnny: Rain’s stopped, was that to do with you?

Ali: Possibly

Johnny: You don’t want me piss wet through in all the worse ways no more?

Ali: I do but I’m thinking of you now and what you want so

Johnny: Are you now?

Ali: I told you, you’re going to like it or I’m not doing it right

Johnny: How do you reckon you know what I like?

Ali: I can feel it, when I’m getting hotter or colder

Johnny: What’s it feel like?

Ali: That’s a secret, for now

Johnny: You’re not playing very fair with that one

Ali: Neither are you, asking questions you know the answers to

Johnny: You think I’ve the answers

Ali: I think you know how this feels

Johnny: Maybe

Ali: maybe

Johnny: But for now we’re keeping secrets, yeah?

Ali: I can be honest, ask me again

Johnny: I’m not part of the games you play, told you before

Ali: I’m not playing

Johnny: You are

Ali: No

Johnny: I can’t do this with you

Ali: You could

Ali: just say you don’t want to

Johnny: Enough, Ali

Ali: It isn’t

Johnny: You take everything too far

Ali: Fine, go, I’m sorry

Johnny: [do go boy because we all know you’re losing your mind over this girl so you gotta]

Ali: [it’s very mutual and now you’re here DYING with nothing to do about it, god bless]

Johnny: [Winnie like invite Ronan over again and I say NO, stop it evil bear, but I do hope it’s not ages until they are going to see Joe cos they’ll both be DYING until then]

Ali: [the temptation but we cannot because we are just not that bitch to that extent, good luck functioning though because truly]

Johnny: [I also hope it’s not a really long bike ride because it’ll be so awks, god I’d die]

Ali: [god knows where Joe has been sent I have no clue but either way this girl is NOT okay]

Johnny: [soz you gotta lowkey hold onto him so you don’t fall off, that won’t be helping either of y’all with the tension]

Ali: [the forced intimacy]

Johnny: [hit me with your coming out post visit vibe and mood because he is gonna wait like he said however long she’s in there, how did it go?]

Ali: [me like hmm, how strange are we going to be today, Joseph? Lord lmao, he’s probably going to be kinda buzzing you’ve disobeyed mcvickers to come see him, so we can probably say it isn’t terrible but he’d definitely be as drugged up as he could be so that wouldn’t be nice to see so, a mixed bag but not like omg horrific, I feel?]

Johnny: [I definitely think that tracks for the first visit, not just saying that because 1. I’d feel awful if he kissed and left her when she’s already distraught and 2. Because if it was that awful she probably wouldn’t wanna go back and visit Joe again right away, it does feel real]

Ali: [mhmm, that’s my thinking, like you’re lowkey like hm does he need to be that zombified but that isn’t enough to have you coming out screaming crying and thus make that more of a betrayal than needs be]

Johnny: [this boy just looking at her as she comes out, trying to gauge the mood because clearly she isn’t crying but she said she wouldn’t so, it’s the way he hasn’t said a damn word for this entire bike ride and still isn’t for me, if I was Ali I’d be so !! frustrated not just in a sexy way]

Ali: [like I grant you we can’t have an easy chat whilst riding said bike because it’s loud and you’d need to shout but at this point hun, it’s a THING ™ so, looking at you with the ? like yes, what do you want to say because we are neither risking mentioning how things were left because we were in the ‘wrong’ nor jumping straight into telling you Joe’s business because that’s a lot and also makes this seem as transactional as we do not believe it nor want it to be]

Johnny: [when you try and look her over/up and down in a sort of casual so are you okay way like you do when peeps reappear after something but whatever she’s wearing for this visit and however awks the vibe she looks great because always and he can’t help LINGERING over LOOKING at her in full, cos we all know she just jumped straight on the bike to get there so this is the first moment and chance for that to be a thing]

Ali: [just nodding in a slightly petty way like if you’re not talking neither am I boy but we’re not holding out for dramatic effect because it’s serious and we don’t need to fake being on the edge here lol, but then he’s more than just looking at you and it’s LOOKING so then you’re also blushing which says as much without saying anything]

Johnny: [likewise running his hand through the long messy hair this boy has for every single role he’s ever played because he’s as on the edge as she is and lbr more so, going towards the bike wherever it has been left, closer to it than he was because he was deffo basically at the door of this psych ward before, as if that will encourage her to get on and they can just drive back again in silence, no no sir, no no]

Ali: [doing that kind of disbelieving laugh that is basically paired with the verbalisation of no no ‘I can’t do this’ taking a step forward but only to then stop with your arms out like no, again, we can’t ‘not if you aren’t going to say anything’]

Johnny: [stopping himself when she does, again running his hand through his hair so it’s essentially fallen out of the little ponytail it was in with the force of ‘We’ve talked enough’ you definitely have not and the absolute finality with which he’s saying that isn’t convincing either of you it’s true ‘too much’ with more of an !! exasperated and almost frantic edge to it because the boy is not okay, making a move to tie his hair immediately back up cos we can’t be still when we’re this tense]

Ali: [try not to watch this boy mess with his hair but it’s also distractingly mezmerising so we are, sorry, again we can look away embarrassed about it to show we too are trying here, folding your arms and hug them against you so you aren’t gesturing so exasperatedly still ‘I took it too far for you’ that for you because you wanted to say a whole lot more but do actually care about people’s boundaries thank you so we can admit that ‘I’m not going to…’ gesturing off because of the things you could say you aren’t going to do and how voicing that isn’t going to help rn]

Johnny: [‘leave it alone now’ in a way that sounds the same as when he told Moses to leave Carly alone and Ronan with Ali, because we need her to stop and shut up rn immediately but haven’t yet been pushed to the point of shutting her up by kissing her or anything ‘quit your acting up and get on the bike’ again, his tone making me uncomfortable because it’s too close to giving orders like before but also too close to how those other lads talk to Carly in a way I don’t appreciate, sir, thank you]

Ali: [‘because that’s working’ like hello, not addressing this is having us going ‘round in circles with this ‘you keep changing your mind’ in that frustrated tone but we’re still trying to talk and get you to see how confusing this for us, obviously, we are not getting on this bike]

Johnny: [‘god, girl, if you don’t get on this fucking bike’ he’s swearing at her, he’s threatening her, he’s almost shouting at her because !!, it’s all popping off ‘don’t you know I’m not meant to have you in mind at all?’ getting more in her grill about this because of the aforementioned !! and the fact he needs her to see how confusing this is for him like please understand]

Ali: [‘I’m not going anywhere with you like this’ matter of fact enough but our tone is very calm down without saying those words because never the move and we’d feel like a hypocrite for it when we’re also !! over this ‘but you do and you can’t have me on the back of you every week without thinking about me at all, don’t do it if that’s so’ ducking our head so we can make eye contact with you and we’re almost touching our forehead against yours but not fully making that physical contact]

Johnny: [running a hand through his hair again when she basically tells him to calm down as if that alone will do it, only to end up holding the sides of his head in his hands in a very literal sense because of how full of her his head is, just for a moment though so it’s back up by the time she ducks hers for the eye contact and almost forehead touch ‘I can’t have you and that’s the end of it’ almost eerily quiet in contrast to how loud he was before]

Ali: [just prising his hands away from his head really slowly by taking them in your own, using the manoeuvre to put only the tiniest amount more space between you after your almost forehead press, dropping his hands gently at his side even though for the briefest moment before you let go, you consider putting them on your waist, obviously you do not ‘that’s- okay’ a very definite pause meaning it isn’t the full sentence we intended it to be because it doesn’t feel okay even if we were being good and doing everything ‘right’ we’d tell you it was okay, instead we’re simply acknowledging you said it without actually commenting on it because we can’t come to the phone right now]

Johnny: [when it obvs doesn’t feel okay to him either so he’s back in her grill again before either of y’all are even fully aware of how close he is, which is to the point that his dramatic and frustrated af big long breath is basically at her and so near to being in her mouth that Winnie is screaming crying perfect storm ‘it isn’t’ an exact echo of what she said when he said enough before in their convo, unaware or aware af though he is or isn’t that he’s used her exact words here, like they are just so on the same page with their frustration that it could be accidental but it could also be targeted and deliberate like hey remember this hun, me too, the fuck]

Ali: [neither of you is complaining, almost trying not to acknowledge how close you are like that means he won’t notice either and thus move back when he does, closing your eyes and holding your own breath at this because you can’t trust yourself to do anything close to sane about it and you don’t know what he wants you to say or do because you’ve tried several approaches and you’re not used to being this wrong every time, seemingly ‘you aren’t part of the game’ as a promise because seriously]

Johnny: [‘What am I?’ genuinely because if not, what else do you think this can be, gal, you can’t be his gf or anything of the sort, it’s all a mess and he’s mad at the situation, her and himself]

Ali: [‘other’ like you’re putting him into a category because you can’t and there’s no better way to put that across ‘some shit is just different and that’s not ‘cos I want it to be’ because this is not ideal for us, if you were any of the others you would just hookup with/casually date us]

Johnny: [‘you weren’t supposed to be this different yourself’ cos rn he’d love nothing more than for her to be Carly so he can write her off/hate her or like the other non-traveller girls he clearly hasn’t been very interested in]

Ali: [opening your eyes again because you can’t keep them shut forever, doing a half shrug and the self-deprecating little laugh like heard that one before energy because what else can we say to that ‘I don’t want it to be you’ which sounds harsh but is said too softly to be so because we mean it, we’re not like the girl who thinks they’re so slay they need to get the one boy they can’t have, we didn’t mean to make this a thing when there is literally a much more sensible option in Ronan right there who isn’t so damn conflicted]

Johnny: [pushing her back barely at all in the scheme of things but it would feel like a giant gap suddenly and a harsh action despite how softly he’s doing it to match the vibe of what she said, as if it’s that simple to let her go and free you both from this ‘it isn’t going to be me’ me here like sure Jan because you’re literally looking at her and her mouth like you wanna kiss her rn as the words are being said because you do]

Ali: [not even purposefully doing the thing where you then rock forward from the pressure being exerted on pushing you back, so you’re truly back where you were, doing the tiniest smile as you catch his eye and take said step back yourself like okay, okay ‘if you’d just forgo your morals and hurt me, it could be’ like it’s a joke but it’s a little too real rn]

Johnny: [he’s gotta close his own eyes for a sec when she takes her step back because he’s fighting a war with himself not to immediately pull her back already but then she says what she says and his eyes open and flash with such anger at all this and it is the perfect kiss her hard before he goes moment because shut up that isn’t funny and I hate that you’d make a joke like this and I hate you and I hate myself that I’m doing this in response or ever etc etc, it can’t be overstated the way he’s actually launching himself at her for this and there is a violence to it because the desperation and the !! that’s there but he wishes was not, nbd not at all casually the most aggressive makeout any character has ever]

Ali: [me like try not to hit the deck guys because the way that will catch us completely off guard because feeling like you would never do anything at this point obviously, basically supporting yourself and keeping vaguely upright by holding onto the sides of his face like he did earlier because you’ll at least take him down with you, making some kind of unholy noise because of the absolute shock of it all but also because of something being done with this tension, however briefly it lasts]

Johnny: [I feel like at some point y’all have to fall against this bike and it has to hit the deck and end up with some kind of superficial damage that won’t stop him riding off when he needs to and he won’t fully notice til later because that’s poetic cinema, baby, y’all so carried away you don’t even care his precious bike you worked on together has fallen over]

Ali: [mhmm, it has to be done, also you’re outside of a psychward, there are probably many a mentally unstable teenager watching you guys in this car park, including your own brother Alison, the way a setting has never been less relevant in its life, we don’t even remember where we are or why we were here at this point, babe, just got to hold our own in this kiss fight]

Johnny: [me just having a big yikes moment thinking about how if Joe sees it he’ll be so into it, don’t think about that Junie, we’re not getting into his incest and inappropriateness rn, I’m just going to think about how this should be a quick kiss this boy regrets and snaps himself out of immediately but instead it’s going on SO long, we’re really going at it]

Ali: [Joseph, this isn’t about you, you’re being a menace and will continue to be but for now you are limited by being locked away lol, not having our moment ruined until it is by this boy leaving, because can’t pretend we’re not needing how aggressive it is either by now, like soz you have just given us everything to keep thinking about you, was not your intention but here we are, on the ground by this point I’m sure looking like you might be fully brawling]

Johnny: [Sadly all good things must come to an end and whether that’s because of some kind of way she touches him/he touches her or a sound either of you make or a move he ends up making to take something off her/touch her under it, something triggers that this amazingness has to stop and he simply will just get on this bike and drive away leaving her the most in shock anyone has ever been]

Ali: [can you imagine, the shock and awe, I can’t; also we’re on 30 pages so should probably post but just to say she would message you because we aren’t going to not but if you think he wouldn’t reply, I could try and do that on this page?]

Johnny: [I can’t imagine, I would simply pass away, I like to think he’d circle back later like wtf did I do to see if she was still there but he’d have obvs got so far away in his own shock before he did that and then had to turn back that she’s long gone by the time, because he does have morals and he wouldn’t actually wanna just leave her outside a psych ward, as for replying though, I don’t think he would, like lowkey he probably wouldn’t even let himself read it]

Ali: [Okay let me try, obviously waiting ‘til she is home so he should also be because not trying to get you to crash when it already feels vaguely possible]

Ali: I got home fine

Ali: Figured you’d want to know, still

Ali: and I hope you did but I won’t stop by and check

Ali: or ask, or say anything to anyone so

Ali: Why did you go?

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pandora-whowalksbetween · 3 years

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at first i was tempted to make a joke about levi calling people “neurotypicals” instead of normies but let’s be real i dont think any of his brothers are neurotypical

#autistic levi OBVS and adhd mammon #someone said adhd dia and hELL yes love that #somebody else said adhd satan and i like that as well #i hc belphie as autistic too and w how much beel takes things literally it could be both of them #theres a whole devilgram story about the bros trying to find/get a pic of belphie smiling and he's always described w like unreadable expres #sions. one of his surprise guest dialogues is him being like 'im happy btw i hope you can tell.' trouble w physical expressive social cues #thats a thing i checked w my sister #anD I JUST SAW SOMEONE SAY AUTISTIC LUCIFER WITH HIS NEED FOR ROUTINE AND MAYBE GLOVES BC HE'S HYPERSENSITIVE AND I LOVE THAT #paperwork for hours and hours? hyperfocus.#at first i was thinking ocd lucifer and that could be a thing too. neurodivergencies arent territorial alkdsfj.#adhd particularly likes to bring friends :)#also i keep thinking about how obsessive satan was w the skin cream in the bodyswap (lbr special interest swap) event and im like.#satan and/or asmo have sensory issues and/or ocd i think. asmo's routine obvs but it might also be tied to sensory issues/stimming #and listen this is my neurodivergent ass relating to characters this isnt me doing a fakedeep reddit theory about how every pooh character #is a metaphor for a different mental illness or that timmy turner is actually in a coma or something. this isnt coming from 'i wanna be #clever' this is me being like 'oh i recognize these things in you.'#obey me #and feel free to disagree this is just my interpretation/relation to the characters #very interested to see how other people relate to them its really cool

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hotwings0203 · 3 years

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Hot takes that y’all are gonna hate me for and I’ll prolly lose followers but idc:

-I wouldn’t put it past bakugo to say a slur tbh especially season 1 bakugo. I know a lot of ppl try to negate that but This dude perverted IZUKU MIDORIYA into some fucked up doll slur so I wouldn’t have high hopes that he wouldn’t say any other shit. Like, Pinky? Half and half bastard? Cmon y’all

-iida should NOT be a prominent character anymore, man’s entire worth is based on his stupid brother WHO HE COULDNT EVEN AVENGE, Stain put his ass in the muthafuckin concrete .2 seconds after he got there tryna pick a fight. And then he’s got the audacity to tell Shoto and deku to not bail him out? Gtfo😭

-Shoto had so much potential but he’s such a dumbass I’m sorry. This dude rlly had to be SPOONFED to be told “it’s your own power!!” BRO WHAT ARE YOU 5?? Harness that shit urself goddamn

-I don’t feel bad for ⚠️SPOILER WARNING⚠️ twice’s death. Hawks literally told him “I don’t wanna hurt you so play nice and you can live” but this crazy fuck had to go batshit crazy so OF COURSE hawks had to murk his ass, as he should. Otherwise twice could’ve made like a bazillion shigaraki’s and then the whole plot would’ve been screwed.

-I also love him but i DONT feel bad for Bakugo’s whole mental breakdown that one episode with him and deku. Like how am I supposed to feel guilty about some dude whose just upset he got surpassed? I mean I get it, it’s tough he thinks he’s the reason all might retired but in terms of deku surpassing him? Man grow a pair😭

-although I hate kotaro (shig’s dad) and endeavor, I actually DONT know what else they should’ve done tbh, obviously they shouldn’t have beaten the shit out of their kids but in terms of trying to steer their quirkless or weak kid’s dreams away from fantasies then I don’t rlly how else they should’ve done it. Like for touya, (again I hate endeavor) enji told him MULTIPLE times to give up on the hero thing. But again, it’s still shitty that he raised touya from the start to be a hero. In terms of tenko tho, like apart from kotaro hitting him I don’t think he was wrong in trying to ensure that his heart wouldn’t get broken if he indeed didn’t manifest a quirk

-oh oh and I don’t feel sad that sir nighteye died, mr “four episode flop” had his due time and plus this dude was PLOTTINGGGG on all lights downfall he can suck it💪🏽

-also I fucking HATTTEEEEEE how hawks forgave enji so easily about the whole abuse thing. Man idc if you got mommy daddy issues urself BUT GODDAMN AT LEAST GIVE HIM THE COLD SHOULDER?? At least try and PRETEND like enji was wrong for screwing touya over jfc

-izuocha isn’t a bad ship but I fr wish hori would’ve given them more screentime. Also, Uraraka’s speech abt letting deku stay at UA doesnt rlly count as “character development “, she just did a good thing. Like she didn’t change her personality by making that speech or anything but obv it was still a big deal

Anywayyssss don’t take all of this too seriously it’s just my personal takes lol, feel free to respectfully disagree or give ur own take!!

#hot takes #mha debate #mha theory #mha #bnha takes #mha takes #bnha #bnha theory

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hoeforblackwidow · 2 years

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MoM hot takes

So like...I know I am about to provide some controversial yet brave opinions, and if you disagree I would love to hear your takes. Just plz explain yourself so I can actually understand your point of view. These are my personal opinions, and should be treated as such -- not as a Master’s thesis level dissertation on the movie. Obvs, spoilers ahead!

I’ll start with the good stuff:

- Y’all....y’all...Lizzie absolutely EATS in this movie. She is giving a legitimate Oscar worthy performance. Benedict, Xochitl and Rachel McAdams also absolutely GIVE in their performances, and I love them. But Lizzie is just next level, she put her whole neck, her back, her p*ssy and her crack into it.

- I’m so excited for America Chavez’s future in the MCU...also, #queerrights

- “Run”

- *shakes head* “Mmm-mmm”...I almost came

- Good GOD the score during the dream walking scene, Lizzie’s hand acting, the whole sha-bang was just *chef’s kiss*

Onto my real beef with the ~film~:

- They did our girl Wanda so fucking dirty lmao, like let her be happy, she was making progress post-Wandavision!

- Like, I’m actually convinced Sam Raimi did not watch Wandavision. I say this, because the whole character arc of Wanda doing something unsavory and then repenting at the end is, like - literally Wandavision’s whole point for her character?

- I mean she already went through the whole “I don’t want to hurt anyone!!” thing in Wandavision. It feels like we regressed.

- ^ the above can be explained by the Darkhold’s effects on her, which brings me to my next point

- They reallllly should’ve delved deeper into the Darkhold. The way that they just flippantly mentioned it and didn’t really explain it’s deep rooted effects on Wanda further seemed so lazy and did a true disservice to her character for pure shock value and to speed up the plot

- That musical note battle scene and the twins singing had the entire theater in nervous uncomfortable laughter with quite a few audible “what the fuck”s

- Like I fully know Wanda/Scarlet Witch is very villainy in the comics, but a) this is the MCU, not a direct interpretation of the comics and b) I wouldn’t have minded if it WAS a direct interpretation of the comics (#women’s rights AND #women’s wrongs!) , but it literally wasn’t because c) if they literally k*lled her off...they wasted SO much of her story and potential for the MCU.

- Overall, I just felt like the movie was waaaay too rushed, too all over the place, and definitely a Sam Raimi movie, NOT a Marvel movie. Which, as a fan, is disappointing when I go to see a MCU film for the characters and story and not for a specific director’s shtick/signature

---

Again, feel free to tell me I’m wrong! I totally respect and understand why some people think it was the best movie ever, but in my unqualified, unsolicited (yet humble) opinion, it was disappointing. :/ (still not the worst MCU movie, and I will definitely be giving it even more repeat watches)

#multiverse of madness #multiverse of madness spoiler #multiverse of madness spoilers #dr strange #dr strange spoilers #dr strange 2 spoilers #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch

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polyghostfacehours · 3 years

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CONGRATS ON 3K BUBALLOOOO so well deserved!!! as for your little matchup thing I'd love one! gimme that sweet romance, baby!! my emoji of choice: 👹. I feel like you've seen how I look physically speaking but I'm 5'9 brown hair, a few sporadic tattoos. I grew up swimming competitively, love animals (have 2 dogs and a cat), love horror movies obv, travelling, LOVE sushi and greek food. umm I own my own business. honestly my mind is suddenly blank! I hope this is enough lmao

LEEEX GOD. This took forever for me to do because I really had to think.

So, romantically, I think you fit well with both, hence being more near the middle BUT I feel you'd match a little better with Billy.

- Competitive swimming? You can't tell me they both wouldn't find that hot, if you disagree then shut up + ratio. Seeing their SO in a swimsuit is absolute *chef's kiss*. But I can see Billy especially liking it, bc that means physically you could put up a good fight. And he'll allow himself be a little rougher with you than maybe someone who isn't an athlete. He'd manhandle you in the bedroom oml, and once you let that knife/blood kink out? Absolute nut man.

- I can see Billy being into tattoos and wanting some of his own in the future (this may or may not have something to do with Skeet's recent instagram story pics bc woof bark bark grrr)

- I don't know why, but I hc that Billy wanted a dog as a kid, but never got one bc his parents are low-key satan. So his partner having any sort of pet, cat or dog, just seems like something he'd enjoy.

- Horror movies is basically a req. with these two, but I feel bc Billy likes theorizing and analyzing horror/characters he'd especially need someone who can share that with him. So yeah, you liking horror. Thas good.

- So you liking travelling is something that actually really appeals to Stu, since I hc that the one part of being dragged by his parents to business trips or social events is that he loved travelling to new place. Sightseeing, trying local cuisine, etc. He loves it and loves to have someone to share it with. Billy has never left California, and didn't really travel too much outside of Woodsboro save for local towns/cities, so you being into travelling can be exciting to him. He's so ready to leave Woodsboro, like you wouldnt believe lol. Free him.

- Stu loves all types of food, either super cheap or super expensive. Billy's palette is much more restricted, and it'll take time for him to get used to foods he isn't used to. And if he has a bad experience with one dish, it takes foreeeever to get him to give it another try lol. Stu would like both greek food and sushi, while I can see Billy mainly just being okay with greek.

- God okay so, you owning your own business? Not only does it do wonders for their (particularly Stu's) views on women or women's roles, but also is strangely hot to them? Billy particularly likes that whole girls who "arent like other girls" bullshit, so yay for you. And he likes a partner who wouldn't be completely dependent on him. Show them the light of a woman who can run her whole shit.

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shinjaeha · 3 years

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ipytm ep 3 (thoughts + spoilers)

this is going to be a tough post for me to do bc honestly...this ep just left me feeling so run down. i know that the cast and crew have always strived for realism and authenticity with this series, but this one was just a lot to take in :/ my thoughts are gonna be even more all over the place than usual but idec at this point. having to rewatch this ep again is really fucking hard (even harder than itsay ep 4 bc even though that makes my heart ache, i still feel some sense of satisfaction from the development we get...this just leaves me feeling defeated in every way).

you know the drill: not an analysis, just me ranting as usual bc free therapy (and boy do i need it after this one)!! i had so many feelings watching this ep (esp towards teh but what’s new), so here goes.

we begin with the drama students rehearsing for jai’s new play, and the introduction of the plum wine which will be the recurring motif in this whole ep. the use of the plum wine in this also kind of reminds me of how teh initially disliked coconuts until he started falling in love with oh-aew and started to like them instead...i’m guessing that’s the parallel they’re trying to draw with the plum wine comparison in this.

teh’s having a hard time getting into character (which we already know from last ep was always going to be one of the toughest challenges for him as an actor). his character in the play is supposed to have a sex scene, but he’s struggling with this bc he can’t put himself in his character (akin’s) shoes, so jai ends rehearsals early.

jai gives them all logbooks which he basically wants them to treat as diaries where they’ll write everything they feel/learn and hand it back to him (he’ll be the only one reading them). ngl this already had me feeling kind of yikes (esp now as i rewatch this knowing how everything went down) since jai already has inside knowledge about teh’s feelings on his relationship with oh-aew which he can take advantage of :/ more on that later though...

it’s sad to me that so much time has passed since teh’s argument with khim and he's STILL avoiding her. khim was someone that he respected immensely (and was such a great mentor for him) so it just sucks to see that their relationship has deteriorated so much since the first two eps. teh might have had his reconciliation moment with oh-aew last ep, but there’s still a lot that he’s not ready or willing to address yet.

i understand that teh’s just encouraging jai about his work when he tells him to stop having others comment on it, but at the same time, i disagree with him bc i think it IS important to get other peoples’ opinion about your work. how else will you ever be able to see things from other perspectives if you don’t?

anyway, teh tells jai he’s seeing a play, and jai asks teh if he’s bringing oh-aew...the look on teh’s face is telling enough that things aren’t going great between them (at least on his end). this brings us to the logbook scene, where teh’s homework for the day is to write about the similarities and differences between himself and his character in the play. this gets teh to reflect on how he feels his relationship with oh-aew is changing, or specifically, how oh-aew seems to be changing so much that teh feels like he’s becoming someone else entirely...and does that mean that he still loves him the same?

i feel like this is a fairly common issue with people that have been in a relationship for a while (and this is their third year together now), so i understand how teh might start having doubts. it’s nothing that oh-aew’s done, it’s just that sometimes all these small changes can keep mounting up to the point that they feel much bigger than they actually are. oh-aew’s really just doing what everyone else does, which is grow and change as they get older, but teh’s still stuck in the past trying to hold onto what they used to have instead of evolving with oh-aew. the way teh picks at all these little changes of oh-aew does make me think that he’s self-sabotaging himself. he’s just so afraid and insecure that oh-aew will change so much he leaves him, that he has to nitpick at reasons why oh-aew’s the one that’s growing away from him (though when we watch the whole ep we know that that’s not the case at all). it’s like a ‘if i push him away first, then he won’t push me away’ sort of self-defence mechanism. either way, teh’s a constant overthinker...and he’s always been his own biggest enemy since the start, so it makes perfect sense to me that he would do this to himself here too.

i know that they’ve been together for years at this point, so things are not quite as exciting as they used to be, but it hurts to see oh-aew be so happy about getting an A for his class, and teh be so unenthused about it. oh-aew has to basically beg teh to give him attention and praise. remember when teh used to get so worried when oh-aew did badly in chinese class...and now it’s like whatever to him just bc he’s not tutoring him/they’re not in the same major anymore :((( i know it’s prob both bc teh’s still hurting that oh-aew transferred majors, and from seeing oh-aew succeed while he feels like he’s failing, but still...

also, not inviting him to see the play with him bc he thought oh-aew wouldn’t be interested/oh-aew kept falling asleep whenever they saw plays together ;;; i get the reasoning from both povs, but it still is nice to be asked :(

so one thing i have to say about the progression of their relationship here is that i just feel this huge disconnect from last ep and this ep?? i know it’s bc of the time skip (since it’s a year later basically), but to go from the end of ep 2, where they’re promising to love each other forever, and then to teh feeling disillusioned/as though he’s falling out of love with oh-aew basically right after that?? it’s so jarring. i feel like we lose so much with these time skips bc the transition from ep 2 to ep 3 is never really shown, so there’s this lack of flow there. like we’ve skipped a step entirely and something’s missing. this is the disadvantage of only focussing on one year per ep since there’s not enough time to explore as much character and relationship development when we’re only seeing an hour long snippet of an entire year. it just makes things feel superficial since so much of what we should be seeing is missing...and we basically have to fill in all the gaps ourselves.

okay, back to oh-aew ranting to his friends about how he feels like his relationship with teh is fading away bc they don’t have the same interests anymore, but also wondering if that’s just normal for long-term relationships. bless that boy that came to ask oh-aew for his ig :’) at least he knows that he’s wanted and has options, even if he obv turns him down bc of teh (for now).

plug and mangpong are dating!!!!!!! and mangpong does a horrible job of trying to hide it 😂 sidenote, but i love the way pp delivers lines sometimes (like the “just shocked”), he’s so cute. plug and mangpong’s legs touching...and the wave of nostalgia that came over me (and oh-aew) during that ;;; oh-aew seeing their blossoming relationship would make him reminisce back to his own experience of falling in love with teh...when everything was still so fluttery and new. so when teh texts him about using his car to help jai move, he looks happy. like he wants to rekindle those feelings again too.

that being said, it’s kind of sad to me how even jai shows more interest in oh-aew’s major than teh (when he asks him for his opinion on how to get people interested in his play). oh-aew’s got some good ideas and is more than willing to help (esp since he wants to connect and find a common interest with teh again). also, just bc oh-aew doesn’t want to be an actor anymore doesn’t mean that he’s completely uninterested in it. god, watching this part again hurts bc oh-aew looks so happy and optimistic. he worked so hard to help teh (and jai) only for them to betray him like that. it made me mad originally, but now it just breaks my heart :(

jai’s running acting classes again for his play, and this time it’s a workshop to help them tap into their feelings. it’s like an intimacy exercise where they give one another consent to touch certain body parts. teh is still struggling a lot with this. i think teh craves intimacy, but as he doesn’t feel that connection in his personal life to oh-aew anymore, so it’s difficult for him to draw on his experiences. he can’t even remember the first time he had sex with oh-aew properly anymore. as usual, teh’s too in his own head to just go with the flow and ~feel things (which isn’t new since teh’s had problems with this since itsay), but it’s def something that he’ll need to learn how to do if he wants to become an actor. he’s trying, but the fact that he can’t get to that place makes him feel even more insecure than ever that he might never be able to get there. imo one of the reasons teh works so hard, and is as driven and ambitious as he is, is that he’s afraid that he’ll never be good enough. he puts so much pressure on himself, and the issue with that is that he’ll never be able to live up to his expectations that way.

teh is also very much alone now. oh-aew has his group of friends to talk to about his relationship with teh, but teh just has jai at this point. he’s pushed khim away...and he and oh-aew aren’t communicating effectively (which is also why they’re on SUCH different wavelengths in terms of where their relationship is at), so there’s literally only jai for him to talk to about all his relationship issues. and to me at least, jai seems to have ulterior motives (particularly when you consider that the subject matter of his play is pretty much the same thing that teh’s going through rn). it’s times like this when i do feel kind of bad for teh, but then again, he brought this upon himself the way that he almost always does...and it leaves me frustrated instead.

jai kissing his professor though...also their conversation?? i have QUESTIONS...

that whole interaction with teh when jai catches him spying on him and the professor was SO awkward. idk what it is about teh but i have never encountered a character that has given me as much secondhand embarrassment as he does. when he starts touching the bars and avoiding eye contact i just- why, teh why?????

moving on, i’m thinking there’s prob more to that scene that we don’t know about bc jai’s shifty like that...but it’s purpose is also to shift teh’s perception of jai. before this, he pretty much just saw jai as his friend and mentor, but seeing him kiss someone else pushes him to think of jai in another less platonic light. like the first spark of attraction.

the both of them go to see the mime show (babymime), and i know that the point of this is so teh can learn to just feel and let go the way that the mimes in this play do, but idk it’s just kind of funny to me the contrast between the last scene and this one.

the leg touching scene again but this time with teh and jai...thanks, i hate it :///

teh’s already feeling like he and oh-aew’s interests are making them drift apart, so by connecting with jai, it’s that initial feeling of attraction that he used to feel with oh-aew all those years ago. jai is that cool senior that he respects...he’s goal-oriented and has so much in common with him (in a way that he feels that oh-aew doesn’t anymore), so it doesn’t altogether surprise me that teh latches onto jai in this way. esp when all their conversations revolve around what teh’s most passionate about, and what dreams they’re striving towards in the future.

it doesn’t surprise me bc teh’s affections shifted in a similar way from tarn to oh-aew when he was first starting to realise his feelings for oh-aew too (though at least he and tarn were never officially dating during that time...)

there’s a genuineness to the way teh praises and encourages jai that isn’t there when he’s doing the same to oh-aew :( and that coupled with teh lying to oh-aew about him having dinner with jai while oh-aew is at home, completely oblivious, painstakingly photoshopping his boyfriend’s face on the poster of the play TO HELP TEH instead of doing his own uni work, makes me so fucking upset for oh-aew.

it’s interesting to see how different their personalities are even when it comes to something as simple as the way they read their texts. oh-aew is so ready to accept whatever teh tells him at face value, but teh overthinks everything to the point where he jumps to a certain conclusion in his head about it instead.

but yeah, it’s just really tough to see oh-aew try so hard for teh, only to see teh do nothing back for oh-aew in return. there’s only so much one side can give. it’s the absolute lack of effort on teh’s part to even try to make things work with oh-aew that is the most frustrating thing of all. oh-aew is carrying their entire relationship rn and it makes me feel all “and for what?? why should he even bother??” about it.

sneaking to sit at the river with jai is like this forbidden, new experience, so it just enhances that feeling of attraction that teh is already feeling towards jai. and esp when he starts telling him about his previous relationship with james, the significance of the plum wine, and how jai ended up breaking up with him. since it’s reflective of teh’s own experiences atm (even in how he kind of self-sabotages himself to push people/oh-aew away first), he clearly takes it to heart. and it makes him want to do an even better job since the play is an autobiographical one for jai. not to mention, teh supposedly being the only one that jai told his story to makes him feel ‘special’......and we all know how teh likes feeling as though he’s special to someone. you can see it in how dejected he is when he thinks jai only told him his story bc he wanted him to get into character better, but perks up the moment jai says he actually told him bc teh’s been doing such a good job (and to encourage him). like i mentioned before, teh’s already feeling vulnerable and isolated from everybody else, so hearing any sort of praise (and esp when it’s from someone that he looks up to as much as jai), is going to pull him in.

when they were hiding from the security guard i was like ughhh i know where this is heading and i. don’t. like. it........

the problem is that i know where teh stands on this. like i know that there’s some attraction on his end. but i don’t know where jai stands. is he intentionally manipulating teh’s feelings for his play? is there any sincerity there? i think it’s obvious that he can tell teh is attracted to him from the glance that they share in this scene, but i can’t get a handle on what he actually wants (which i guess is the point of making his character as mysterious as it is but still). and if he can tell, and he doesn’t actually like teh back in that way, it makes the end scene even more yikes imo.

hmmm teh lying in the pool trying to recreate that feeling right before their first kiss when the both of them just let everything go and sank down into the water. that’s how you KNOW the next scene is supposed to be angsty...bc just like how their first underwater kiss had a sense of sadness to it bc they were hiding, their first (on screen) sex scene has that same sense of sadness, only this time it’s bc teh’s using his attraction to jai/his method actor desire to get into character to fuel the sex instead of bc he genuinely just wants to have sex with oh-aew. and if his reasoning for the sex is bc of that, then his task to recreate their first sexual experience will never live up to the actual first time they had sex (when they BOTH wanted it, and there were no other factors involved).

that’s not to say i don’t think teh doesn’t love oh-aew anymore. i think that there HAS to be some level of love still there amidst all of the confusion, but it feels a lot more like he’s testing his love/attraction to oh-aew during this scene (sort of like how he did with tarn in itsay) than a proper ‘love scene’. like he’s trying to reconfirm his feelings, whilst using oh-aew as inspiration for his role at the same time. it makes my heart ache that this is the first love scene we get from them this series, and it’s marred by the context of what we know is going on in teh’s head. like i said, it’s this permeating sadness throughout...and just knowing that oh-aew has absolutely NO IDEA what’s going on with teh and why he suddenly wants to have sex makes it worse. oh-aew’s been trying to make things work, and in his mind, teh spontaneously coming over like this prob makes him think that things are getting better between them since this is also the closest thing to teh showing any sort of initiative to work on their relationship in this ep so far...

and that’s not also taking away how beautifully this whole scene is shot. i’ve always loved the way that teh and oh-aew play and flirt with each other (bkpp’s chemistry is honestly unparalleled!!) so it was nice to see them be kind of playful before they started kissing again (if you ignore how sad this scene really is). i LOVE the inter-splicing between their first time on the beach and the present. the way the score swells, and little moments where you can see their feet and fingers interlocked on the beach. it gives you such a visceral visual (and totally takes me back to itsay days when that sort of imagery was used a lot more). i just hate that since we know the truth, this scene is more uncomfortable than satisfying despite how nicely shot it is.

i wish we got more domestic moments from them. i know their relationship has sort of grown past those initial moments of flirtation, but it truly makes me sad that we don’t get to see more of them as a couple in general in ipytm. moments like this where they’re lying in bed cuddling each other are so few and far between that i always feel like i have to cherish every little fleeting piece of fluff that i can get. even if idek if this can really be called fluff since the context sort of ruins it.

oh-aew’s still got his heart attack bag :’)))

he was soooooo happy when he met up with his friends 😭 but also, how the hell is it possible for teachers to move deadlines up like that. i FEEL that panic... poor oh-aew...

teh’s in rehearsals again and this time he’s wearing his moon shirt which...i do NOT need those ep 3 itsay vibes rn when i was already dreading this last ten minutes with everything i have in me :((( but anyway, jai’s brought plum wine to class and we know that teh doesn’t usually drink, but he does this time. he tells teh that the taste will change over time (it symbolises the ageing of the relationship process), and teh says it’s a pity he won’t get to taste it next time since jai wants to go abroad to study. then teh tells him he’s worked on the acting exercise and wants to try it out with jai, and i feel like we all knew where it was going to go from here.........

they really had to hammer it in with him missing oh-aew’s call too huh :/

as soon as they started the touching/intimacy exercise again i was just waiting for the catch. even on this rewatch i’m still sitting here chanting “don’t do it teh don’t do it” knowing full well that he kisses jai and there’s no changing that. but then when they cut to oh-aew walking up the stairs with the posters and you hear just how much time he’s sacrificed to help teh/jai on this...sacrificing time EVEN NOW just to go over to their uni to give them the posters when he has a presentation due tomorrow that he and his friends still haven’t finished working on...it’s just heartbreaking knowing what he’s going to end up walking in on.

whether it’s itsay or ipytm, teh’s default state is confusion. so while i think that there’s a certain amount of attraction towards jai there of course, i kind of get the feeling that he’s confusing his feelings of connection with jai (bc of their shared interests and passion) with him falling in love with jai. i feel like his attraction to jai reminds him of what it was like when he was first attracted to oh-aew, and since things have changed so much between him and oh-aew, it’s like he wants to recreate and capture that feeling again with jai (which is also why he wears the moon shirt...he wore that during itsay ep 3 beach scene, which was the moment when the attraction really started to burn between him and oh-aew). he can’t feel that same spark with oh-aew anymore, so he transfers his feelings to jai since, at this point in time, he feels closer to jai than anyone else. instead of growing alongside oh-aew, it’s like he’s choosing to revert back to a time when he was happier.

we know that teh has always been the type of person that will act on his impulses when he feels them. that’s WHY it was so hard to watch...bc i knew while watching that last scene, he was never going to restrain himself or put a stop to those feelings bleeding over into action. and esp not when it could benefit him in some way with his acting too.

in the end, it just makes me so devastated for oh-aew. and i really hope that he doesn’t let this go bc he thinks it’s just teh method acting or getting into character or whatever...i know that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things rn, but that’s not an excuse. he really fucked this one up.

the thing is, it’s not that i don’t think teh is capable of acting this way (i’ve seen a few people say that this is ooc for him, but it really isn’t? this confusion and impulsiveness has always been a part of his character from the very start...he was always the one that had the most trouble dealing with his feelings out of the two of them), but the time skips don’t do him any favours bc we lose all those moments that take him to what he’s currently feeling. when we don’t have those moments, then it’s a lot harder to sympathise with him. in itsay, bc we always knew how teh got from point a to point b, even if he did frustrating/silly things, i always understood where he was coming from. i always felt for him. i GOT his struggles, which was why i was always able to empathise with what he was going through. in ipytm, he just comes off as unlikeable bc of how superficial his feelings seem (from what we’re being shown on screen at least).

falling out of love with your significant other/starting to feel things for someone else is obv a fairly common experience, so i don’t blame teh for FEELING like this, but it’s how he treats oh-aew throughout this that doesn’t sit right with me. even if you feel like you’re falling out of love with someone, or that they’ve changed since the first time you fell in love with them, you’d think there’d be some motivation to at least TRY to make things work with them before giving up. we never see that from teh at all. instead, he just see him becoming infatuated with jai (so we barely see teh/oh-aew together in the first place). and while i can see now that a lot of this is due to his own insecurities and inadequacies, it’s also just so disrespectful to oh-aew who's the one that we see putting in all this time and effort (it calls back to their whole “don’t give my time to others” scene in itsay bc we see oh-aew giving so much of his time to teh through helping him out with his play, while teh’s giving that time that should be for oh-aew to jai now). no matter his reasoning, watching teh act that way towards oh-aew does make it increasingly hard to root for him. there’s just too big a disparity in how the two of them choose to act and devote their time to their relationship.

what’s frustrating is that in itsay, teh would fuck up but he would always try to make amends with oh-aew in some way. he would always come forward to try to sort things out after...but there’s nothing here. even after their dinner fight in ep 2, it’s OH-AEW that reaches out to him first (even though it’s teh’s fault that they fought in the first place). where’s that boy that dressed up in his old school uniform in order to talk to oh-aew at his school? or made a whole chinese idioms scrapbook for oh-aew? or gave up his uni admission for oh-aew? i understand that characters and motivations change (and he was obv hopped up on his first love with oh-aew at the time), but it’s just really, really sad to see teh keep messing up and not even try to meet oh-aew halfway with this. yes, you can fuck up, but there are only so many times you can keep fucking up before it starts to look more like a pattern of shitty behaviour than a few forgivable missteps.

another issue is that there’s been so much focus on teh and his flaws that a lot of the time oh-aew comes off as a side character to teh’s story. previously, i understood that since teh was grappling with his sexuality. it made sense that his journey was the primary focus of the plot and character development. but i always felt that there was more room to explore oh-aew’s story (and i thought that we would get a lot more of that in ipytm...esp after ep 1), but it just feels like we kind of skimmed past all of oh-aew’s growth and struggles adjusting to bangkok/uni life so we could turn the attention back to teh again. i just hate that we never get to see more of how oh-aew’s changed in teh’s eyes (other than the surface level things like his hair, new car and major), and that we never get to see more of oh-aew’s life when it’s not related to teh in general. i hope that we’ll get more of oh-aew in the last two eps, but i really don’t know what they’ll give us anymore.

at this point, i don’t even want them as endgame anymore given everything that’s happened in the recent ep. and it pains me so much to say that bc teh/oh-aew are so immensely important to me, but they’re just in such different places in life. and teh esp has so much more growing to do (i think i said this last week too? teh...). oh-aew deserves to be with someone that can see his worth as he is (that won’t cheat on him for one!!). i just want him to be with someone that can make him happy. what i wanted most for them out of this was for the two of them to grow to a better place (together and as individuals), and while i still want that for them as individuals, it’s hard for me to want them to be happy together anymore. at least for the time being.

i’m kind of at a loss for how they’re gonna work through this (and i genuinely want oh-aew to be able to explore his options too...particularly with someone that will actually treat him better than teh’s treating him atm). so at this point it’s kind of looking to me like a break up is inevitable? but i do think it’s necessary for both of them rn. i feel so heartbroken about it though...like ipytm is actually making ME go through the breakup...breaking up with all my beloved itsay teh/oh-aew memories :((( anyway, i think a break up is also conveniently the best time to put a time skip tbh...so we’ll see if that does end up happening now in future eps.

this one took such a long time to write up bc i wrote like a quarter of this RIGHT after i finished watching the ep (so you can clearly tell which parts were me right after the ep, and which parts were me after i had some time to sit on what happened 😂), but i thought it was best to take a bit of a break. i didn’t rewatch it again until i calmed down a little and sorted out my thoughts some more (though i know this is still pretty messy). but yeah, i’m still very much interested in watching how they things are going to progress from here...but i can’t deny how sad i’ve been feeling after this.

#i promised you the moon #ipytm #text #i feel like i always need to rewatch ipytm eps bc i'm so HEATED during the first watch #but then by the second one i've usually calmed down so much more #like i obv still have a lot of things that i'm not super happy with (and rewatching this again didn't really bring me joy) but still #i get so invested in itsay/ipytm that sometimes i just gotta take myself out of the situation and go live my life for a bit #i was meant to post this yesterday bc it's been sitting in my drafts for too long but i just woke up (it's 2am) so what better time hah

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