#featuring my notoriously inconsistent coloring

[interstate35south]

this just in unbalanced lasso tool lighting is BACK IN

[teddysgrahms]

spongebob gender role commentary I did for a class discussion :)

The TV show I picked was (unsurprisingly) Spongebob Squarepants. Commonly shortened to just Spongebob, the animated TV series follows the famous yellow sea sponge Spongebob and his friends through various misadventures and scenarios. There is no overarching plot, though the series does have a few movie installments with solid, albeit completely unrelated, plots. (There's even a Spongebob musical! It's awesome, I recommend it!) Many of the episodes are quirky, colorful, silly, and sometimes outrageous. The show is rated TV-Y and recommended for children ages 7+. In short, however, Spongebob Squarepants is a bubbly young sea sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea next to his best friend Patrick Star and reluctant neighbor and coworker Squidward Tentacles. Spongebob works as head fry cook at the most popular eating establishment in his hometown of Bikini Bottom, the Krusty Krab, owned and operated by Mr. Eugene Krabs, a notorious cheapskate. There are plenty of recurring characters as well, such as Mr. Krabs' archnemesis Sheldon J. Plankton, owner of the Chum Bucket, Plankton's computer wife Karen, Spongebob's pet snail Gary, Sandy Cheeks the Texan squirrel, and Mr. Krabs' whale daughter Pearl. Many of the episodes feature one or more of these characters and show them in a range of situations, from going to a school dance to covering up an accidental homicide. Overall, this show is definitely one that many of my friends weren't allowed to watch growing up because it was too weird for their parents to handle.

When it comes to gender stereotypes in Spongebob, I can proudly say that many aspects of the show defy gender expectations. (Perhaps that's another reason why many parents don't let their kids watch it!) To list a few examples, let's start with male characters with feminine characteristics. Spongebob as a character is not at all a depiction of traditional masculinity; he has big sweet eyes and little eyelashes, rosy cheeks, buck teeth, and a high-pitched voice (voiced by the iconic Tom Kenny!). None of these traits are consistent with the stereotypical strong, burly man often idealized by young boys. Spongebob is kind and loving to all, even to those who don't like him, like Squidward and Plankton. Spongebob's effeminate nature is never made to seem like a bad thing, though. Spongebob has worn a variety of flashy, feminine or gender nonconforming costumes that no one bats an eye at. (Like that one episode where he wears a little maid dress...yeah.) Another example of non-traditional masculinity can be seen in Squidward. Though not as outwardly effeminate as Spongebob, Squidward partakes in hobbies not typically associated with those of men. Squidward is a lover of the fine arts and music; he enjoys painting and playing the clarinet; he likes to pamper himself with rich sweets and cares a lot about his appearance. None of these things are explicitly feminine, though that's easy for me to say as someone who doesn't see things as gendered anymore. Traditionally speaking, these kinds of activities are often perceived as feminine, so to see a male character openly doing them is certainly a defiance of gender norms, especially for kids' TV.

Let's move onto female characters. Two female characters come to mind when thinking about gender in Spongebob: Sandy and Pearl. Sandy exhibits several traits inconsistent with those of female characters in children's media. For starters, Sandy is insanely smart; she's always depicted tinkering with robots and machines and gadgets. The show makes it clear that Sandy is among the smartest characters in the show, if not the smartest. Secondly, Sandy is strong and athletic; she loves karate and extreme sports, and has been depicted on multiple occasions partaking in dangerous, thrilling activities. There's a whole episode where Sandy makes Spongebob do extreme things with her, and it drives him to the point of exhaustion. Many of these traits are commonly associated with male characters, i.e. strength, smarts, and passion for dangerous activity. Sandy is never once depicted as weak or in need of saving; she's a strong, smart, independent southern lady who isn't afraid to throw down.

Next up is Pearl! I think Pearl as a character is wonderful because while she is quite feminine, she's not the typical depiction of a teenage girl. Pearl isn't small or frail; as a whale, she's tall, strong, and athletic (cheerleader!). Her voice is relatively deep, and despite her size and strength, she is still seen loving and indulging in girly things like clothes, jewelry, boy bands, and pink! I really like how Pearl shows young girls that you can be feminine even when you aren't the cookie cutter image of a young girl.

Finally, am I surprised by a lot of this? The answer: yes and no. Spongebob first aired in 1999 (over 20 years ago!) and a lot of the character portrayals are relatively progressive for its time. Subverting gender expectations has been a thing in children's TV for a while, but typically only with one or two characters. Spongebob makes no apologies whatsoever with its role reversals; boys can like girly things, and girls can like boyish things! It's honestly so impactful to me, especially since I grew up with this show (and the og Teen Titans, of course.) On the other hand, it's not so surprising, especially with a lot of the newer episodes (yes, it's still airing...) Much of the new Spongebob is outwardly non-stereotypical when it comes to traditional gender norms, and at this point, I can't say I'm surprised. Maybe it's because I've always loved this show and I'm biased, but a lot of the stuff in these episodes just makes perfect sense to me. I can definitely understand why parents wouldn't want their kids watching Spongebob, though. Challenges to gender norms scare some people, and considering America's history, that makes sense. I hope, going forward, that more kids will get to grow up alongside Spongebob and his silly antics so that they too may grow into the mindset that gender is a social construct, and you should do whatever makes you happy.

[reggiejworkshop]

"The Simpsons Crew on Public Access TV"

In the late fall of 1992, a local public access show in Connecticut called "Twilight Tunes" aired what was soon to be one of their final episodes. Its was a simple show dedicated to showcase different music videos and short films made by local artists in the New England area. But this final episode, episode 133, was its most notorious not only for its unusual use of four Simpsons characters, but that it was also done without the permission of FOX. It only aired once, and hasn’t been seen since. Today it is considered lost, the screenshot you see above is only the surviving proof of its existence.

The episode featured a short film that started off with sitting Homer Simpson being interviewed by an off screen interviewer. The title character would answer the questions and occasionally made some jokes that wouldn’t have been out of place in actual Simpsons episode before the short took an abrupt left turn. Suddenly it transitioned into a music video in which the title character lip syncs to an 80s synth funk song; "You Are In My System" by the group The System. He dances against a changing back drop of early 80s CGI effects and live action footage of a dancers at rave. He is then accompanied by three other Simpsons protege, Krusty the Clown, Barney Gumble, and Groundskeeper Willie, as they performance various antics and breakdance moves. Yes, you read that right.

Aside from its obviously forced attempts a being trendy and hip (possibly a attempt trying to recreate the success of the Simpsons based single “Do the Bartman”, The short was notable for its slightly off model appearances of the characters along with seriously inconsistent animation. Some scenes were limited to looped walk cycles and reused frames, while others were fully animated sequences. It also featured instances where the backdrop flashed with hot pink and blue strobe lights. Another oddity was that none of the characters on screen appeared to voiced by their respective voice actor Dan Castenella. Instead is an unknown actor who provides an uncanny  deep voiced impression of Homer and a hyena-esque cackle for Krusty. Willie and Barney were spared from having any lines.

Before the short even ended, the studio that broadcasted  it, WECO-TV, was bombarded with many angry and or confused viewers. While many were were wondering why these characters were appearing on public access of all places, some complained that the visuals triggered epilepsy. But the worse surprisingly enough, came from higher ups at FOX themselves. A FOX executive who lived in the area at the time happened to catch broadcast and immediately reported it. Apparently what sparked the outrage from FOX, aside from its obvious copyright infringement, it was an off color comment made by Homer near its conclusion.

At the end of the song, Homer points at the camera and shouts “Up Yours, Ullman!” A reference to the comedian actress Tracey Ullman, who's sitcom aired the very first Simpsons prototype shorts before it became its own, and at the time was still fairly popular with the network. And while its unknown whether Ullman knew of this short film, coincidently enough, it aired around the same time Ullman would attempt to file a lawsuit against FOX. But that’s another story...

FOX immediately filed a lawsuit against WECO-TV  less than a month later.  "Twilight Tunes" was canceled right around the same time. This was also followed up by Atlantic Records also suing the studio for the use of the The System's song, as the band's song was also used without permission. The legal troubles that plagued the studio ended up bankrupting it 1994. All master tapes of the infamous episode were considered to be destroyed, although some unverified sources claim the short was actually viewed privately at some animation festival throughout the early nineties. But its also said that these were later seized by FOX before being destroyed as well. Despite the small frenzy it created, it quickly faded away in time.

Years later, The incident was first brought to internet attention in December 2021 when “Twilight Tunes” main host Gennedy Legpull, started blog through Live Journal in which he recounted all of various odd guests featured on the show. This particular one was no exception. Throughout the blog he explains a lot of the behind the scenes drama that unfolded around it. But even the answers he provided are still just mysterious as the short its self. He claimed to have one surviving tape of the infamous tape and used it post a couple screenshots (including the one above) as proof.  However he hasn't uploaded the tape. While the blog has since been mysteriously deactivated since February of this year, his quotes have been archived through various lost media sites.

There were some of his various recollections:

It was a week after Thanksgiving, and it aired Sunday night around 11, we usually got our highest viewership around this time. We had 4 shorts slotted for this episode. The Simpsons one was the 3rd. Even though I would introduce the shorts, I wasn’t involved in process of  selecting what shorts would air on the show, that responsibility relied solely on our producer who was in LA at the time. So when my jaw dropped at seeing what our program was airing, I immediately called him up to see what the hell was going on.

Cartoons weren't too uncommon on the station we aired on, We’d get those that were in the public domain, and even the occasional Ralph Bakshi film aired as well, But never 4 famous cartoon characters made for prime time TV.

Our producer, surprisingly stated that this wasn't a mistake.  He explained The director of short actually was associated with FOX and wanted to air it on our show as test run before retooling it as a regular episode for the actual show. This was later proven to 100% false. We never found out exactly who directed the short, as there were NO credits included. What we did find out was that director had moved out of country and was never seen again.

As for our producer, He stated that our viewership was at an all time high this season and that if anyone had the nerve to stop the broadcast, they'd be terminated. So I could do nothing but watch the captivating cringe fest that was happening on screen.  It was a bizarre but slightly hypnotic experiment, but one that didn’t seem to have any clear direction or payoff. Just confusion. Instead of any rapid jokes or social commentary of pop culture, there was more flashing lights, Homer and Barney doing the running man, more flashing lights ,Willie pop locking and swirling onto a cardboard mat, live action footage of what seemed like a rave in the background, all with brief glimpses partially nude female dancers, Krusty doing Michel Jackson esque crotch grabs, oh and did I mentioned the lights? 

Aside of being disorientating, it occasionally got unsettlingly random. During the song’s instrumental break, there was audible female’ person’s voice screaming Stop! Stop!!” TO which Homer replied “Shut Up Bart! I'm in the groove!”

We were already getting calls pouring in half way through the short, but the calls exploded once it ended. The next day I reccived a call from the then President of FOX at the time; Peter Chernin, where one of first things he said was this; "So, explain to me why Homer was doing the robot on your station last night?" And that's when I knew my time as a host on this show was over"

Today, FOX still has yet to publicly acknowslge the existence of the short. Even though the notoriety of it is rumored to have reached to small handful of crew members on the actual show. Dan Castenella is said to have seen the segment. Allegedly when he was shown a copy by a FOX executive in the 90s, he  reeled back and jokingly replied in his Krusty the Clown voice “What the hell was that?!” Matt Groening, the show's creator, had no comment.

One of very last posts Legpull made in recalling the odd short on his blog was this:

"It's one of the strangest things I have ever seen in the 30 years Iv'e worked in television. The only way something like this can happens is if the there  is poor decision making, and not enough proper management to regulate a popular brand. Or or its an alternate universe written by bored artist someone with too much time on their hands.”

  And if you actually read all of this, and have far more advanced skills in photoshop and storytelling than I, then you probably already figured out this is the latter.

Well, this was my attempt at trying to create a fake screen shot. It took a lot of experimentation that I doubt I'll be able to accurately replicate. On top of that, might have gotten a LITTLE carried away in trying to write a bogus lost media story as a companion piece. This probably would have been more timely had I posted this on April Fools Day. But better late than never, and I already spent way more time on this piece than I probably should have.

 One thing that is true about this short; You Are in System is an actual song. And its a killer 80's bop! www.youtube.com/watch?v=619xf0…

[animepopheart]

Ranking Every Studio Ghibli Movie

Studio Ghibli's contribution to anime (and animation in general) cannot be understated. Founded by directors Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata, and producer Toshio Suzuki, the studio has produced many of Japan's most hallowed films, movies that are both critically acclaimed and monsters at the box office. In 1996, Disney partnered with Studio Ghibli to bring their movies to North America, developing a new audience that has since come to age; now, Ghibli is as much a part of American childhood as Pixar and Dreamworks releases.

On Anime Pop Heart and @beneaththetangles, we are commemorating the studio with Ghibli Month all September long! I’m kicking things off by ranking Ghibli's twenty-one releases, plus Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, which is often honorarily included among the studio's slate, ranked from first to worst (including alternate viewpoints on a couple of the selections).

22. Tales from Earthsea

Miyazaki famously quarreled with his son, Goro, over the latter's ability to direct Tales from Earthsea, and indeeed, the final product feels like the result of a young man who was in over his head. The movie deserves its ignominious reputation, as it is inconsistent, poorly staged, and often terrible. It's a shame, too, for there are some strong elements to the film and enormous potential, with the outlines of an epic tale and compelling characters in Sparrowhawk and Cob (who are wonderfully dubbed by Timothy Dalton and Willem Dafoe, respectively)—it just never comes quite together and totally unravels at the end, resulting in the only bad film in Studio Ghibli's outstanding run.

21. The Cat Returns

Most Studio Ghibli films are family features, made for children. However, they still capture the imagination of youth and adults as well. The Cat Returns, the only "sequel" in Ghibli's film catalog, doesn't do the same however. It is purely for kids, and aside from flourishes here and there that speak of fantasy adventures and feature whimsical characters, fails to engage viewers of a certain age—maybe anyone older than about twelve. A neat companion piece to Whisper of the Heart, it's worth watching, showing to your children, and then giving away to parents who need better-than-average entertainment to busy their children.

20. Ocean Waves

At one time, Ocean Waves was considered a black eye in Ghibli's filmography, an overpriced television movie that wasn't all that good. In retrospect, the intial judgments were only partially right. Ocean Waves is very much a TV movie, melodramatic and small in scale. The animation, too, is sometimes shoddy, but more often than not it's far better than it has the right to be. Ocean Waves is lovingly made, and the characters are almost frustratingly sincere—and oh so early 90s. While on the lowest tier of the Ghibli scale, Ocean Waves is far better than a simple curiosity.

19. Arrietty

Like Poppy Hill before it, there's nothing terrifically wrong with Arrietty—it just lacks the magic of the great Studio Ghibli films, making it rather forgettable. It's also sometimes dull. While beautiful colors, a foreshadowing of the spectacular animation to come of Yonebayashi in Mary and the Witch's Flower, shine through in the film, and some of the action sequences are highly engaging, our hearts are never fully in it. Maybe that's because we lack a loving connection to many of the characters, particularly to the pensive Sho. A nice watch, but one that's lacking.

18. From Up on Poppy Hill

Much maligned for our lowest ranked movie, Goro Miyazaki returned from that entry with a stronger film, one that functions as an ode to historic preservation while presenting one of the studio's most lovely relationships—that is, until it gets a bit tricky, unfortunately begining to enter a zone unusual for Studio Ghibli, if standard fare for other anime. But that's a relatively minor issue in what's a perfectly lovely film that does well in evoking nostalgia in a movie that reminisces about the past and a Yokohama that no longer exists. Not every emotional moment hits as it should, but enough do to make the film Ghibli's best "date night" entry.

17. Pom Poko

Often criticized for being too over-bearing in its ecological message, Pom Poko's main issue instead is that it's meant to a collection of stories that to flow into one another, based on one group of tanukis' fight against urban development, but the movie doesn't feel cohesive, partly because there is no central protagonist. We only get to know each main tanuki so much, and none feel central to the tale—any could step in and play the necessary roles. Still, Pom Poko is unreservedly charming and often hilarious. It's also a peek into Japanese culture that we often don't get, a look at a country transforming in landscape and in values.

16. Ponyo

Why is Ponyo the low point of Miyazaki's output, the only film of his that doesn't attain the level of classic? It is wonderfully animated, bursting with energy and featuring a story that is never disingenuous and a heroine that is funny, cute, and breathtaking even. However, the film proved that Miyazaki was on a downward trajectory after Spirited Away. Repetition seen in Howl's Moving Castle was on full display in Ponyo, a new movie that too often feels like a rehash, featuring characters that other than the title heroine, fail to connect, and a story that is muddled and often just strange. Ponyo is a fun film and a better one after repeated viewings—the problem is that such defenses do not have to be made for any of Miyazaki's other works.

15. When Marnie Was There

The last feature film from Studio Ghibli to date is both quietly personal and a surprising risk. When Marnie Was There is the studio's first true mystery tale, and has a tone that's slightly haunting. The lead characters, also, are unusual for Ghibli—neither Anna nor Marnie are as embraceable as most of the heroines from Ghibli's past, but that seems be purposeful. What they demonstrate to us is not as much of "who we can be" but "who we are" and even so, how we can overcome. The creative energy of past Ghibli films is missing, but the replacement here by a surprising intimate tone in a modern setting is welcomed.

14. The Tale of the Princess Kaguya

While this notoriously expensive film flopped at the box office, The Tale of the Princess Kaguya was well-received by critics, and for good reason. Adapting a famed folk tale, the film is animated in style befitting its origins, creating the sense that the viewer has fallen into a some traditional Japanese painting. But the movie is not as pastel as its colors indicate—the storytelling is bold. It doesn't sit in the past, instead feeling remarkably current in the fable of a princess imprisoned by seemingly everyone and everything, without ever feeling worn or heavy-handed. Mystical and fantastical elements are both woven into the foundation of the story and come alive in key moments, keeping the film compelling (for the most part) throughout its two hour+ run time.

13. Howl's Moving Castle

An underrated aspect of Studio Ghibli's brilliance is in how they often adapt already-beloved works. Adapted by the master, Howl's Moving Castle, based on the novel by Diana Wynne Jones, is gorgeously animated and bold in both design and character—Howl and Calcifer, particularly, are memorable (and give strong emotional weight to the tale). While it suffers in comparison to its predecessor, Spirited Away, by being a little unwieldy, it remains a classic and an example of how well Miyazaki can bring themes and plot points across subtly (think of the flashback of Howl) in a movie that's otherwise fierce and larger than life.

12. The Wind Rises

From conception, The Wind Rises was a challenging film—how do you tell the story of the man who designed a fighter essential to Japan's WWI efforts, and show him as a patriot and dreamer without excluding the crimes of the nation, or making a film that goes against Miyazaki's anti-war values? It's difficult to say if he succeeds, but the film itself is beautifully crafted. The supporting characters here are less important than in other works, so it's vital that the audience admires Jiro Horikoshi, and we do—his character and positivity make him easy to root for, and dream sequences in the film both flesh out his thought process and keep us captivated. Once believed to be Miyazaki's last film, if it had been, The Wind Rises would have been worthy of that designation.

11. My Neighbors the Yamadas

The oddball in Ghibli's filmography, My Neighbors the Yamadas is presented through half-a-dozen or more short stories in the style of comic strips come to life, with animation that matches. The magic in the film is that the Yamadas are as over-the-top as the movie's aesthetic is, yet maintain an authentic feel. Think of some of the most popular family sitcoms of the 1980s and 1990s, but with an addition those shows could not feature—fantastical sequences that break in without warning and bind the ties of family further. We may not want to live like the clumsy Yamadas, but the heart of the family will make you consider whether they're the ones who really have it all together.

10. Porco Rosso

Studio Ghibli films share animation styles and themes, but one can never say they lack in variety when it comes to story. The tale of Porco Rosso is of an ace pilot cursed into living as a pig—but not to worry! He is still adored by women as he flies fantastic missions while running from fascists, pirates, and fame-seeking assassins. Porco is gruff and unattractive, but both he and the tale are sweet, as what's already a compelling story of WWI aces and dogfights is buffeted by grief, romance, and two strong heroines of very different types and roles. Perhaps the film with the largest range of opinion among the Miyazaki classics, Porco Rosso is nonetheless fantastic, and require viewing if you haven't watched it already.

9. Whisper of the Heart

Ghibli's most unabashedly romantic film is one of its most formulaic, but still among its best. The debut film by Yoshifumi Kondō, Miyazaki and Takahata's proposed successor before he died just a few years after the movie's premiere, is at once encouraging while also refusing to shy away from the melancholy experienced by children—and adults, too—when one doesn't seem to have what it takes to become great. In joy and sadness, Whisper of the Heart lets the kids at the center of the film be kids. They are at times stubborn, silly, and immature, and by treating them that way, the movie never drifts into something banal (with the possible exception of the famously abrupt ending)—it's a lovely lesson in growing up and meeting challenges, and a personal favorite.

8. Kiki's Delivery Service

The charm of Kiki's Delivery Service is two-fold—in the setting, a northern European-style town that is alive, forcing the events of the story through its residents, cozy cafes, and early 20th-century transportion, and in Kiki's journey itself. Her community's tradition of sending of young witches to live by themselves at the age of thirteen sets the story in motion, and Miyazaki captures the spirit of a girl that age perfectly—in all its confusion, energy, enthusiasm, and difficulty. Kiki is not a subtle character, but her growth is. When she takes to the air for the finale, Kiki isn't experienced enough to know if she can save the day—and so we cheer when she realizes what the rest of us already know, what we've all experienced ourselves, that it takes time and failure to mold us into becoming the hero.

7. Castle in the Sky

Miyazaki created classic film after classic film for decades, in a streak that started with Lupin III and ended, I'd argue, with Howl's Moving Castle. Often forgotten among the wonders is Castle in the Sky, a steampunk entry that is a joyous adventure, akin to Treasure Island but developed for an audience of both boys and girls. Sumptuous cloudscapes fill the screen, as do colorful characters with meaty roles, including a group favored by Miyazaki—pirates (in this movie, air pirates led by Dola, an older female). Reflective of Miyazaki's ability to master genres, Castle in the Sky again crosses fantasy and sci-fi in perfect proportions, underscoring an uplifting tale with an apocalyptic story line.

6. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind

Unofficially part of of Ghibli's canon, the success of Nausicaa, based on Miyazaki's own manga and exploring the ecological, anti-war, and feminist themes for which the studio's future films would be noted, launched Studio Ghibli. Nausicaa herself remains one of the studio's most iconic and compelling heroines, a physically powerful and feminine hero who must grow into adulthood very quickly while putting aside deep flaws to offer salvation to her people and land. The beautiful landscapes speaks to the epic story, better fleshed out in the manga, while reminding us that Ghibli films are giants not only in animation, but in fantasy and sci-fi realms as well.

5. Only Yesterday

How do you create an animated film about a twenty-something woman that waxes nostalgia while on a trip to the countryside, and at the same time make it entertaining and accessible? It's not an easy task, but Only Yesterday accomplishes it fully. Taeko, the protagonist, explains, "I didn't intend for ten-year-old me to come on this trip, but somehow, once she showed up, she wouldn't leave me alone." We experience her nostalgia for and complicated feelings about the past through a family that's genuinely flawed, while experiencing her visit to relatives in the countryside in the present, a trip that is subtly life-altering, one that pushes her to consider who she is and who she wants to be. Oh, and the film also features one of anime's most wonderful endings, set to a cover of a now-classic love song.

4. Grave of the Fireflies

It's a testament to Miyazaki's stature that the first three Ghibli films on the list are all directed by him, and also to the supreme talent of the other directors that their films rise above some of his other tremendous work. Directed by Studio Ghibli co-founder, the legendary Isao Takahata, Grave of the Fireflies is the most painful and emotional movie in the canon; it is also one of the greatest war movies ever made, using animation to deftly explore the how war victimizes children. Opening and closing shots, both of which express the uncaring nature of bystanders (and by extension, the world) toward children cause us to wonder what we really feel about the world's most vulnerable population.

3. My Neighbor Totoro

It's often said that nothing really happens in My Neighbor Totoro—but that's part of the magic of the film. A child's movie in all ways, including in the action, which revolves around a sick mother, a move to a new house, and a lost child, the film finds its center in a magical being that never says a word (Totoro only growls), and about whom many theories abound. If Totoro is a figment of Satsuki and Mei's imaginations, he is then similar to Winnie the Pooh, a necessary presence in the lives of a child character (two of them, sisters, in this case) who is growing up in a difficult situation, not to adulthood, but to the next step in the journey of life.

2. Spirited Away

Miyazaki has retired and unretired several times—when did so following Princess Mononoke, he returned with what is often considered his magnum opus, Spirited Away. At once deeply Japanese and completely accessible, the movie takes viewers on one of the most remarkable visual journeys ever put to film, a feast that never relents through its entire run time. Perhaps underrated is Miyazaki's decision to move the action away from the bathhouse for much of the final act, a quiet last leg that is key to Chihiro's journey, as well as for many of Spirited Away's supporting characters. Absolutely deserving of all love and acclaim.

1. Princess Mononoke

Studio Ghibli's finest film is also perhaps its most surprising. Visceral, violent, and conflicting, Princess Mononoke is no easy tale to absorb. There is no "good guy," not in the traditional sense, as Miyazaki explores hist favored ecological theme but through the lens of humanity struggling to survive in a world where they are just surpassing nature, the beast gods and goddesses who had previously ruled. It is an epic in the vein of films from decades before with vibrant and complex characters, ground-breaking animation, and an English voice track that is second to none. The studio's most intricate work, Princess Mononoke requires multiple viewings to fully appreciate.

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All Studio Ghibli movies are available for sale, including many in special collectible editions. We encourage you to go check them out!

[fauzhee10069]

Donatella Una? Is she really Trish’s mom?

Or majority of Diavolo’s past might be full of lies (aka even the most reliable source (read: manga) can’t be really trusted).

There is something odd and fishy about Trish’s birth date. Though Araki is known for his inconsistency with date and timeline, there is an idea (or problem) that can be arisen from Trish’s birth date.

Trish’s initial DOB is April 19th 1986 according to chapter 540: Spice Girl – part 2:

And the timeline when Solido Naso (read: Diavolo) met Donatella according to the time when her photo was taken is June 1985:

The photo above was taken in Costa Smeralda, Sardegna when Donatella was on vacation.

If Trish was born around April 1986, nine months ago was July 1985 (assuming that Trish was conceived around that time), it means that Solido and Donatella were dating for around 1 month. However, I’m not really good at calculation, so I used an online calculator of how Trish should have been conceived normally:

However, some information from Trish (based on Donatella’s stories) shows that her parents only date during Donatella’s vacation in Sardegna.

Chapter 524: "G" in Guts

Chapter 533: Notorious B.I.G - part 1

It’s limited during Donatella’s vacation. Although it was unclear how long her vacation was, I think it's a bit odd if she was on vacation for 1 month just in Sardegna. In conclusion, they were dating for just a short time.

(Though) actually it was still possible for the conception to be occurred in June with 46 weeks of gestation.

Later, Trish’s DOB was changed to June 8th 1985 according to infobox from chapter 592: Sleeping Slaves - Part 3.

Imo, the reason for changing her birth date is to match her age. According to fandom.com, Vento Aureo took place around April 2001 (from late March), I haven’t find the direct evidence from the actual chapters yet but the closest I got is from chapter 440: Gold Experience – part 1 (I wish I could get more reliable sources):

And since the beginning of Trish’s first appearance, she was declared as 15 years old:

Chapter 469: Officer Buccellati: First orders from the Boss

However, if she was born in April 1986, her age doesn’t match as she will be 14:

So, probably the changing of Trish’s birth date by Araki is to match her age:

Age Calculator

However, this should cause trouble in the timeline of Diavolo’s past. How can Solido be Trish’s father if he dated her mom in the same month when she was born?? Now, let’s assume that the timeline of Donatella’s photo is changed into June 1984, it will make sense that Trish was born the next year. Though if we considerate Trish’s info that her mom only met Solido very briefly, rather than June, they may be dated around September 1984.

Then, there was the unknown girl that also dated Diavolo in 1986, also took place in Costa Smeralda. The month was unknown but judging how the panel clearly stated that Diavolo turned 19 (as he was born in Summer 1967 (1965 in anime)), we can assume that it was around summer or later. It is unknown whether she was Donatella or not:

Chapter 569: A Story of the Recent Past

But my bet is that she wasn’t Donatella because it will be nearly impossible to be her. First, it would contradict Trish’s info (which means her story) that she only dated Solido briefly… just on one of her vacations (probably once). Second, it’ll be weird if we considerate both of Trish’s birth dates. Because when they were dating in 1986, Trish was already born. (see: updated 2)

A question arises, is Trish really Diavolo’s daughter? Why doubt it? It was very clear that she is his daughter, they can sense each other:

Chapter 520: The Mystery of King Crimson - part 3

chapter 540 & chapter 551

They are really look alike, same hair colors (at least in manga):

Chapter 583: Diavolo Emerges - part 4

Too bad they were actually Bruno and Mista, but chapter 583 gives us an idea of how this father & daughter would look like if they really ever teamed up.

The anime even gives them the same eye colors: (see: updated 3)

Also, you may argue that Trish’s birth date doesn’t have to be changed. Why can’t Araki just keep her birth date? Even if she technically was still 14, she was almost 15… so, assuming that she is 15 in the story is alright, right? Nope, if that is the case, why didn’t Araki mention Giorno’s age as 16 years old in story? Since he was born in April 16th 1985, he was almost 16, right?

Chapter 593: Sleeping Slaves – part 4

Despite almost 16, it was consistently mentioned that Giorno was still 15 years old:

Chapter 441: Gold Experience – part 2

Chapter 456: 5 Plus 1

Therefore, the change of Trish’s birth date is necessary, but still there is one more problem. Why did Araki decide to change her birth date as of June 8th 1985? The same month and year when Solido Naso was supposedly dating Donatella? Imo, there should be a way to retcon Trish’s birth date without causing various contradictions in her parents' past. Imo, why don’t just change her birth date around March 20th 1986? That date of birth will make her legitimately 15 years old and will make Donatella’s time more reasonable for conceiving Trish. Guess! What month is 9 months before March 1986? Yeah… it’s June 1985! The time when Solido and Donatella were dating & took a photo in Costa Smeralda. In addition, it will make Trish’s info (Donatella’s story in which they met once/briefly) more legit.

With this so many confusing timeline, let’s wait and see whether the anime will fix it or not. Though I’m not really sure, they likely will just simply not show Trish’s dob.

UPDATED 1 (4/6/2019): The anime in GW Episode 25 indeed chose to omit Trish’s DoB (the manga chapter counterpart is when it showed Trish’s DoB as April 19th 1986).

UPDATED 2 (4/13/2019): The anime scene in GW Episode 26 had the chronology when Diavolo dated Donatella and took her photograph happened, then straightly connected & continued with the priest discovering his buried mom & the fire, those events happened in 1985. Therefore, the unknown girlfriend is no longer an issue if you choose to consider this anime scene as canon.

UPDATED 3 (8/27/2019): When in the colored manga, Trish likely inherited Donatella’s eye color (deep blue), the anime chose not to. Trish inherited her looks mostly from Diavolo (bar the skin color). This is what she inherited from her mom based on the anime (according to fandom.com page):

Chapter 592's preface specifies that she can act mysophobic and can scream if she touches an object with the lingering body heat from another individual. Moreover, she dislikes anything that isn't beautiful, insects as well as smelly foolish men. The anime shows that she inherited these features from her mother.

So, what she took mostly after her mom are her interest & dislikes, something that any children could learn about as they grow subconsciously, something that can be formed or prevented if you care enough. Both are not absolutely genetic (like your physical appearance), children usually grow up following their parents as their role models. Example: I was afraid of rat because the first time I met it, my mom reacted with fear & disgust. Perhaps I subconsciously assumed that rats are disgusting animals, since then I have the same reaction with my mom when dealing with them.

Conclusion: Trish is undoubtedly Diavolo’s daughter, but Araki somehow made the relationship between Diavolo & Donatella and how Trish was conceived complicated… at least in the manga.

TL;DR Araki is really bad at date and chronology that only our headcanons can save that XD.

[friendshipfusers-blog]

Evolution/Theory of Stephen’s Scar

While I’m waiting for asks, let’s talk about the main feature on my boy’s face.

He’s got this big ol’ gash running from his cheek to over his eye, right? As far as I can remember, nobody in the comic has mentioned his scar once- not even Max, who is notorious for pointing out weird quirks. Johnny’s hair is brought up in many a conversation, RJ’s shadowy stuff has been at least mentioned by Ed’s “ringwraith” comment. I can’t believe these sassy children haven’t even attempted a jab at this. Anyway, that doesn’t have to do with anything, just... just pointing it out there. Most fans who comment on his scar justifiably wonder how a twelve year old gets such a big, clean, nasty scar straight through the FACE.

This is it’s first appearance in the comic, which is in chapter one so it’s been updated like just about everything since. Here it’s a little smaller and ends right above the corner of his mouth, and the lines making it look a little more wavery like I think a scar would actually look, maybe. Usually, even today, when Stephen’s in a less detailed form (Zack’s little squishy versions of them) it will be simplified to just a single line.

And then Stephen dies for two chapter straight, and when he comes back we get THIS:

The lines are a fleshy pink color, but between them is the same color as his normal, non-injured skin! So unless he got into some INSANE scissor-related accident, this is just wack, yo.

I know, I know, this was probably just an art thing or inconsistency, because his cast pic up there had it filled in with a different color as well. Additionally, where the picture above is from the beginning of chapter four, his last appearance in the same chapter also fixes this problem

...Or does it? But anyway, a point stands that it now reaches to his cheek like in his cast photo, and has been roughly the same since then.

Since RJ’s origin story, we’ve learned that in the unspecific past Stephen has STILL sported this scar, which makes the secret behind it all the more confusing

If it isn’t still the exact the same, then it might have even gotten worse over the years! But wait guys, I’ve got something to really stir the pot on this one... in the desktop backgrounds Zack had made back quite a few years ago (the link to open them is broken now but thank GOD these two happened to be in the thumbnail)

NO SCAR WHATSOEVER!!!!! The instant reaction upon seeing this, or at least mine, is that this was just a mistake that got glossed over before Zack posted it. But we know better than to just write off anything we see now- be on guard about everything. So, maybe he really doesn’t have a scar in this pic? But it’s features the Activity Club, with Max, enjoying a barbecue. Maybe he covered it with makeup for some reason? Well, these two are messing with water balloons, it would just wash off... or...

...maybe his scar washed off.

THAT’S IT! YOU HEARD ME! What if Stephen never had a real scar in the first place!? What if it was all fake- all it would take is a pale pink sharpie! And of COURSE he has every reason to fake it- what twelve year old hooligan wouldn’t dream of looking that tough? That’s the secret to the weird only-outline phase his scar took in the beginning of chapter four! He forgot to fill it in before he left for school in the morning. All I’m saying, is that his parent’s probs wouldn’t let him dye his hair or do anything to look as cool as Johnny or RJ, wasn’t built to be swole like Ollie, so he took the next logical step.

Yeah okay yeah I know there’s many many holes in that theory and it’s 95% a joke. Also, I don’t want it to be true. I want there to be some horrible melodramatic backstory behind it, or even an anticlimactic one. I have things to disprove my own theory that I only just now proposed, and those are

1.) If this was true, everyone in the whole school would know and would be making fun of him every time he breaths. That’s just how Mayview kids be.

2.) From the friendship fusion print, though it’s a bit hard to tell, he has his scar and he’s playing with water guns, so the scar is probably solid.

So yeah. I’d be lying if this idea that “it’s fake” didn’t cross my mind every once in a while, and every time my reaction is “NOOO it can’t be!! I couldn’t handle it” So everybody please prove it wrong at every turn you get. 

[apieters]

The clash of steel rang on the streets of the Magic Kingdom as a furious duel erupted in New Orleans Square. In the midst of a band of soldiers all the way from Agrabah, lead by Captain Razoul, two swordsman stood their ground, slashing and thrusting back-to-back against superior odds—in other words, it was a fairly average Friday afternoon for Christopher “Chris” Carnovo and André Caron, the Swashbucklers of the Magic Kingdom.

A stranger duo couldn’t be found from the Frozen lands of Arendelle to the Primeval World. Chris was a young, greyish-blue tyrannosaur, dressed in a blue pirate’s coat belted with a white sash, wielding a rapier with lightning-fast thrusts. André was a young man with shaggy brown hair and a black padded jacket, slashing violently at his foes with a sabre. The soldiers of Agrabah pressed hard on every side, but the odd pair had two things in their favor—they were both masters in the art of swordsmanship, and they had been fighting together since childhood.

Chris and André had a long and colorful career—starting as privateers in their youth, the two had almost single-handedly cleared the seas of pirates such as the notorious Captains Nathaniel Flint, Henry Morgan and “Black Bart” Roberts, before taking up service as fight choreographers in their young adult years. The two friends had choreographed almost every fight scene in almost every movie made in the Magic Kingdom, a land of princes and princesses, wizards and witches, pirates and knights, talking animals and other motley characters. Under the leadership of Mickey Mouse, the protégé of the late Good King Walt, the Magic Kingdom was a land of art, culture, and storytelling, producing some of the finest movies in the world. But while some made their names on the silver screen as actors or served the Kingdom as statesmen and captains of industry (often all three), others made their names behind the scenes. Chris and André belonged to the latter category, but their work had made them many friends all over the Magic Kingdom—friends that sometimes had need of their special set of skills.

“Just once, I’d like to be called in for a favor that doesn’t involve the risk of getting stabbed!” André Caron snapped at the tyrannosaur as he slashed up, knocking a sword out of a soldier’s hand.

“We’re professional swordsmen, André,” Chris shot back as he spiraled his rapier, sending another scimitar flying out of a soldier’s grip. “What kinds of favors do you expect people need from us?” He lunged to the side just as a soldier was trying to flank his friend, arresting the attack. The two shifted positions effortlessly, their efforts coordinated like a dance. “Besides,” he smirked, parrying a wild cut from another soldier, “Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I left it at home with the good book I was reading!” André shouted. A soldier rushed him and he grabbed the soldier’s wrist, wrenching his arm back before kicking him into his comrades.

“So, you don’t think we should be out here rescuing our friend?” Chris asked, spiraling his blade to intercept a cut and slashing at a second swordsman before thrusting over his shoulder at the first.

“I never said we shouldn’t be here,” André said, smashing his guard into a soldier’s forehead before parrying another incoming strike. “Just don’t expect me to be happy about it!” He swiped wide, left and right, whirling his sword in a dangerous dance of steel. He plowed through the soldiers, knocking them this way and that, clearing a way for the tyrannosaur. “Alright, Chris, I’m holding off as many as I can. Find Razoul and work your magic.”

This is the opening scene of a Disney fan-fiction story I’m rewriting. I started writing it for a couple reasons:

1) Chris needed a home. I’ve been drawing this swashbuckling tyrannosaur and his human companion (yes, André is named after me—there aren’t enough characters with my name, and that needs to be fixed) for just about 20 years now, and figured he needed a proper story. But what kind? Well, as I looked back, I realized that he was always sort of inserting himself into whatever I was interested in or reading at the time—piracy, Disney movies, books, etc. He was always a fan-fic character. So he needed to be in a fanfiction story. And as I tend to prefer a Disney-esque/traditional Western cartoon style, I decided he needed to be a Disney character—just one who works off-screen.

2) I really want to write original stories. I have at least 3 or 4 solid concepts, but when I decided in college that I wanted to write, I figured out I SUCKED at dialogue. And pretty much everything else. I had some raw talent, but of course that’s never enough—and being a perfectionist, I wasn’t going to waste an original story as my first attempt at learning the craft of writing. So I started exploring blogs about writing fantasy and credible, published authors all said the same thing: they started by writing fan-fiction. The reason they gave was that it was motivating because you already love the characters, and the world building and character creation is done for you (you can learn those skills later), leaving you free to focus on more fundamental aspects of writing craft—things like dialogue, pacing, plotting, planning, description, active vs. passive voice, all that jazz. So I decided to follow their advice.

I said earlier I was rewriting it—well, I got a little more than halfway through and the story just ran out of gas. The characters, I realized, would never and could never do the things necessary to advance the plot without breaking character, getting themselves killed, or using a dues ex machina. There were too many dangling plot threads, too many unnecessary characters, and after five years of intermittent drafting (I was in college, then I’ve had a day job or been job hunting ever since—I’m busy) I had gotten to know my characters (or my interpretations of several preexisting Disney characters) well enough that I could see major inconsistencies across the 200+ pages I had written. So I decided to go back to the beginning and rework the plot, making it a lot more consistent and focusing on a tighter core of characters. This scene was not in the original draft, and I think it establishes my characters far better than what I’d written before (which was essentially an info-dump of exposition—classic mistake).

Artist Behind the Scenes

Illustrating the picture presented several difficulties—one, I absolutely loathe myself for constantly choosing ground like grass or—in this case—cobblestones, which require a lot of repetitive, regular shapes. But that’s what the picture required, so I decided to make the cobblestones a little scribbled and blurry, and made the background lines thicker and fuzzier too. The biggest challenge was drawing multiple opponents—each guardsman is a unique person and requires individual attention to meet my minimum visual quality standards, and I can’t get away with vaguely soldier-looking blobs (as I’ve done in other pictures) since they are an integral part of the action that is the main focus of the piece.

The solution was to remember the adage, “the essence of the picture is the frame.” By positioning Chris and André just right in the frame and filling up as much space as I could using them, I could get away with only drawing parts of most of the guardsmen to give the effect of an outnumbered, chaotic street duel. I ended up framing the two characters with a ring of enemies, with Razoul appearing in the back to round out the impression of being surrounded on all sides.

The scimitar sabres (“scimitar” is a European butchering of the Persian shamshir) were a compromise between the way the Agrabah guards’ weapons appear in the movie Aladdin (where they are comically short and fat and have a clipped point) and real weapons. No actual Middle Eastern sword, to my knowledge, ever had a clipped point, which was actually a common feature of European single-edged swords like falchions and messers (which probably were the real inspiration behind Western artwork’s depictions of Eastern sabres); few sabres were ever as fat as the cartoons make them out to be; and most Middle Eastern sabres have straight, not recurved quillons. Most real sabres were relatively narrow, light swords meant for slashing/draw-cutting from horseback, not percussive chopping, and instead of a clipped point Turkish sabres often had a flared, double-edged tip called a yelman. I was thus faced with an artistic dilemma: integrity to reality or integrity to the source I was emulating. These are supposed to be the same guards as appeared in the “One Jump Ahead of the Breadline” musical number in Aladdin, armed with the same weapons; yet the action is taking place in “real life,” off-camera. I ultimately decided on a compromise: the scimitars would retain the same shape and features as in the movie, but I edited the dimensions to look a little more like real swords instead of meat cleavers.

(Disclaimer: Chris and André belong to me—everything else belongs to Disney).

[stunudo]

Technicolor

A Criminal Minds Fan-fiction

Featuring: Spencer Reid x Female Reader    

Setting: Season 11

Requested by: Anonymous

Warnings in the tags, A/N at the end.

Your name: submit What is this?

It was the blue of the scrubs on Grey’s Anatomy. The vague blue color that people generally refer to as “sky” blue. It wasn’t vibrant like robin’s egg blue or slightly toxic as cornflower blue always felt. It was simultaneously solid and unsubstantial a hue on the spectrum of all blues. This blue dropped your jaw, shut off your thoughts and changed the entire course of your future. The little line intersecting the generic horizontal strip was the blue of a positive pregnancy test.

You were with child.

What kind of absurd phrase is that? The English language is full of useless and uncomfortable words and expressions. Most of them outdated and dealing with socially awkward topics like menstruation and masturbation. You didn’t feel like you were with anything. You felt shell shocked. Then another color flooded your mind, a bright chocolate brown. The warm orbs that would be instantly enraptured with the tiny bunch of cells replicating inside you. Spencer’s excited eyes were the richest color you could imagine. It was then that the hope for that forming person sparked within your heart.

The pressed suits and the briefcases, the credential wallets and the wing tips. The streamlined professionalism of FBI black was notorious. Films were made and phrases were coined about the men in black. The secretive nature of the work elaborated into conspiracies by the media overshadowing the mind numbing details each case required. You wore a muted grey pantsuit with a saffron silk scarf around your neck for cheerfulness.

Hotch, the definitive agent, for the expression of FBI black entered the round table room more somberly than even his stoic norm.

“Everyone, I need your utmost discretion at this time.” Hotch locked eyes on every member of the BAU team. “At 8:17 this morning, a single shooter entered the Forest Glen School in Ellicott City, Maryland.”

Garcia stood, her red lips a grimace as she quietly stated the known casualties. “The principal was discovered by one of the assistants shot multiple times. The shooter seems to have a dedicated list of targets, as none of the others in the surrounding offices were shot. One administrator was knocked unconscious with the butt of the rifle.”

“Have any of the students been shot?” JJ asked stone faced.

“Not according to the latest reports.”

“Has anyone identified the assailant?” Morgan looked over the grainy stills of the security camera footage.

“He is a white guy, medium build, early thirties.”

“What age are the students?” You asked before Spencer could interject his statistics.

“Middle school.”

“So we have a school full of tweens who could panic at any moment.” Lewis muttered.

“According to the daily attendance and an estimated staff roster, there are an additional 430 potential victims.” Garcia dropped another harrowing fact into your laps.

“He is not acting like a school shooter or a vigilante. I think our unsub has a clear purpose. Garcia, start searching any parents or former employees with grievances against the principal and school specifically.” Your genius squinted into the provided rough floor plan of the school.

“Cross check that with a military or police background, this guy got inside without anyone noticing or stopping him.” Rossi added, his salt and pepper features accenting the wizened creases to this face.

“We are going to assist on site, Morgan and I will drive. See you out front in five minutes.” Hotch dismissed the team.

Spencer leaned down and collected the physical files while the rest of the team moved along after grabbing their tablets. His brunette curls sliding down to obscure him from your view. He wore a blue Oxford shirt with a dark gray sweater vest that nearly matched his pleated pants. How could the world exist in this paradox? In one breath there was a madman shooting up a school and in the next there was the absurdly long lines and soft angles of the man you married. A man whose hands knew only gentleness and dramatic expression. Spencer Reid, gentleman personified, was going to be a father and you couldn’t even tell him. Not yet. Not until this case was behind you all. And so you stood for an exaggerated moment in quiet appreciation of your husband and all he embodied.

The fall foliage whipped passed the tinted windows of the government issued vehicles. Marigold and tangerine merging as if into flames. It was oddly quiet in the cab, despite having four agents occupying the space that only two would normally. The taupe interior reflective of the muted atmosphere. Spencer mindlessly held your right hand in his left as he examined the exits and perimeter established by the local police. You weren’t focusing on the case, you weren’t focusing on anything. You traced gentle patterns onto his knuckles.

“You usually only do that when you’re trying to stay awake through one of my documentaries.” Spencer murmured without looking up.

You smiled at the image of you two cuddled on the couch instead of driving into danger, again. “I guess I am pretty tired, I only had one cup this morning.”

Spencer’s eyebrows jumped somewhere between shock and impressed. “Are you feeling alright?” His smirk, hollowed his cheeks. You rolled your eyes. Slyly he checked the rear view mirror in front of Hotch, before he stole a kiss on your exposed neck. You stifled the squeal he elicited, but the knowing glint in the Unit Chief’s dark eyes told you, he didn’t mind your barely hidden affections.

The dark vests were stacked in the back of the SUV that Morgan drove. Rossi handed them out as you inserted your communication earbud. The playground stretched before you, surrounded by a monumental blacktop. White painted lines indicated different courts and games, the silence and stark nature of the scene sent chills up your spine. Spencer held up his elbow, with a slight nudge of his chin, you rechecked his vest. Working together had always been part of the relationship; it was these unspoken routines that showed others you were a unit. The navy blue accented his outfit nicely, Spencer’s scanned the crowd of law enforcement surrounding the barricades from his higher vantage point.

You doubled checked your weapons and he rolled up his shirt sleeves. JJ and Hotch were talking with the locals, trying to keep the media out until more evacuations could be made. Rossi, Morgan and Tara were quietly discussing triggers for the unsub. This was Tara’s first case with kids in the line of fire; you found situations like this brought a new understanding to the term ‘clear and present danger’.

“We should be communicating by now. The most successful hostage negotiations begin within the first hour of stand off.” Spencer’s brow is furrowed, he is on edge. Not everyone would be able to tell that this pucker of his pink lips means agitation instead of concentration. You do.

“We aren’t dealing with a typical hostage situation. We’re dealing with an assassin or a bounty hunter.” You conclude, shielding your eyes from the crisp autumn sunlight.

The stone halls of the school were cavernous, the same multifaceted shimmer radiated from the floor and up the walls. The power had been cut, so the deep shafts of light from the vaulted windows gave the space an added hush of a library. The adrenaline coursing through you and your teammates was more fitting a boxing ring than a courtyard for four square. The children on the first floor had been safely evacuated. There were two classes whose rooms were left unchecked and two newly deceased victims.

The goal was to talk the shooter down and ensure the school was completely evacuated. You were set in two teams; Morgan, you and Rossi on unsub detail while Lewis, JJ and Spencer were set to secure the potential remaining students and faculty. At the first fork, stairs rose in both directions. You locked eyes on your tall husband before following Morgan’s sweat coated head. His face softened briefly, you blushed, damning hormones and distractions. You signed the American Sign Language for ‘I love you’ before turning up the south stairwell. He nodded and followed his team up the northern set.

It’s the dark ringed yellows of a negative, the darkness that isn’t black but cannot be defined as anything else. Your mind is protesting against the strain on your muscles, your shortish legs taking the stairs in two or three step intervals. The heartbeat is rushing through your ears, the comm device loose against your collar. You wouldn’t listen to their pleas to stand down, their calm voices trying to rationalize a retreat, a detour to find the students, anything to break your direct route to Spencer. To the perilous trap that his team had found themselves in. You were sprinting down the hallway faster than you had ever been clocked. The shadows overtaking you as your reached the final bend.

You were going to hide it in a book for him to find. The plastic cap secured over the test strip so not to sully any beloved pages. You couldn’t remember what he was reading last, but you were hoping for a classic like “The Origin of the Species” or “Fathers and Sons.” You hadn’t planned it out much beyond that.

You weren’t expecting to get pregnant right away. After the wedding and honeymoon costs, you both agreed to save for a house before actively trying to create a miniature genius. Sometimes crazy schedules make for inconsistent taking of medication, such as the pill. Your bodies worked, despite the exhaustion and stress of the BAU. In a moment of joining with the man you adored and who had sworn himself to you, not five months ago. Some part of him had truly become part of you. You held possibilities, impatiently, yearning to share those with the great calculator himself.

There was a man’s voice shouting at the end of the hall, a pale oak door swung limply, having been forced open. You steadied your pace and readied your Glock, JJ’s voice came wafting out faintly. “We— help you. Just put— no. Drop it!”

Shots were fired before you reached the doorway, the unsub’s body half blocking you from entering the room. You checked for a pulse before scanning the room. The old blackboards had been replaced with glossy whiteboards, giving the chaotic scene unfolding before you a clinical overtone. JJ’s voice was barking into her vest walkie, words that meant nothing when her hands were coated in scarlet.

Her golden locks flipped back and forth calling to you, calling to Lewis. Lewis had been shot in the leg, you should check on her. Spencer was with the two other female agents, they were meant to secure the students. Where was Spencer? It was then a ripping sound drew your glazed attention to a light blue Oxford shirt with a pooling stain, much like spilled ink spreading across the front.

“Y/N, Y/N talk to me. Y/N, he needs you right now. Can you do that?” JJ was pleading with you. You snap to it. You kneel beside your convulsing husband and take the sleeve that JJ ripped to try to stop the bleeding long enough to get paramedics through. You haven’t looked at him yet, you are following orders. You are disassociating like a trained professional. Or a sociopath. Whichever shoves her hand in her husband’s side and gapes at the warmth of his spilling blood.

Your hands are caked when JJ speaks again. “I am going to check the last classroom for survivors. The medics are on their way, powers back, so we can get a gurney up the elevator now.” JJ checks her cartridge before stepping over the bulk of murderer left at the door.

There were no desks in the room. There were bleached wooden tables cut into semi-circles. The chairs were splattered around the room like uncollected jacks. Spencer’s cool touch found your forearm, this was real. The gold of his wedding band shone against the anemic pallor of his hand. You closed your eyes, trying to dam the tears back.

“You were supposed to be clearing the remaining classrooms.” You bit at your husband. Spencer’s eyes flashed with the briefest confusion with your tone before shining with the challenge.

“And you were supposed to be talking down the unsub, we both suck at our jobs.” Spencer smirked, but his eyes were drooping.

“Well, can’t call it a day, yet, Doc. I need that big brain of yours.”

“Okay, shoot.” Spencer chuckled, nearly dislodging the makeshift bandage. “Poor choice of words, forgive me.”

You readjusted your position, you now straddled Spencer’s thighs, to give you equal pressure to the GSW. “Alright, so what the hell was this unsub’s deal?!”

Spencer’s eye sockets looked deeper than ever, the pink from his lips was fading. Every ridge of his chiseled face was accentuated. Somewhere behind him, you heard Lewis inching towards your huddled forms. “Y/N, Y/N can you hand me Reid’s belt?”

Your head snapped up, there five feet away was Tara Lewis sprawled out and bleeding from a lower thigh shot. “Oh god, Lewis, I’m sorry, I, shit!” Keeping one hand on Spencer’s wound, you undid his belt, clumsily.

“You pick the weirdest times to get fresh with me, Mrs. Reid.” Spencer’s voice cracked and his eyes couldn’t stay open.

“Yeah, well, just keep talking, Dr. Reid, you know how we like to hear you ramble.” You try to keep him engaged, try to keep him conscious. You have to roll his body to get the belt completely off, it was difficult, but Lewis had reached you to help. After securing her own tourniquet, Lewis took over for you. You shook your arms out and stretched before kneeling down again, cradling Spencer’s face in your lap. He was completely unconscious now. It was then the white shirts and metal frame of a stretcher burst through the destroyed door.

A nurse in stylized Mickey Mouse scrubs was washing your hands in a manila tear drop basin. Her teak hands were warm and steady, prying the flecks and remnants caked under your pale nails. It was a tender thing, letting someone take care of you. Vastly more intimate than a manicure; you felt child like. A memory of sitting on the lemon yellow toilet lid with a skinned knee and elbows flashed into your stream of consciousness. Those cloth band aids that caught every piece of fuzz and dirt one could happen across.

The nurse wiped some smudges from your face and neck, your outfit was destroyed, the outline of your Kevlar vest obvious for lack of splatter. Finally they were letting you into see your husband. It had been three hours of surgery before sleep over took your anxiety riddled body. Four hours of almost dreams and glimpses of memories before they woke you up to say he had pulled through. Thanks to you. No, thanks to Tara and JJ, you thought. Words were useless, arguing didn’t change the outcome. Spencer lived.

The sore joints from tension and sleeping in the mint coated hospital waiting room rocked through your bones. Waiting had been arduous, seeing the love of your life helplessly connected to a tangle of wires was a pitfall. Your aching body acted on its own, one foot in front of the other, closer and closer to Spencer’s unconscious body. He seemed so frail, his animated expressions hidden inside this cocoon. You placed your freshly scrubbed palm on his cheek, his natural warmth was returning. You blinked through the relief, taking his right hand in yours.

You stood there, whispering prayers of thanks to any heavenly entity who would hear you. The soreness in your bones had stretched into your lower back, yet you ignored it. The scuffle of shoes entered the recovery room.

“Mrs. Reid? His anesthesia will be wearing off shortly. Are you sure we can’t give him something for the pain?” You had begun shaking your head before the same nurse had finished speaking.

“No, he wouldn’t want any narcotics. He’s been clean for so long.”

“There are other options for pain management. A gunshot and surgery is very traumatic to the body, his heart rate would remain elevated and he might lose consciousness often.”

“What would you suggest?” You didn’t look her in the face, instead kept staring at the peaceful face of Spencer, the face before the pain returned.

“We can give him an epidural?”

“As in a spinal, like for labor and delivery?”

“Exactly, the same anesthesiologist can administer it once he is awake. It would numb him from the waist down.”

“We’ll talk about it, thank you.” You met her concerned hazel eyes, finally. They were shining, her brain firing along endless synapses. “Can I? Can I lay with him?” Your body felt suddenly heavy.

“Sure, just let me adjust his wires.” Her name was Simone, her nimble hands sorted and realigned each gadget, she worked silently and with care. Her long braid heavy on her small frame.

JJ entered Spencer’s room and found the couple asleep on the hydraulic bed. The slight beep of the monitors and their heavy breathing the only sounds that met her trained ears. She set Y/N’s go bag on the small coffee table near the solitary tan leather recliner in the corner. Her strong hands rubbed gently on Y/N’s arm, trying to rouse her.

Spencer came too first, the grimace hard on his features. JJ knew all too well that her best friend would have refused pain killers. “Hey, Spence, is there anything I can get for you?”

He took a second to gather his surroundings, absently patting Y/N’s head on his chest. “Just some water, JJ, maybe a nurse? I think I might need a change of dressing, it feels sticky.”

Y/N shifted as Spencer tried not to jostle her, the threadbare canvas colored blanket fell back and JJ gasped. Spencer’s face became alarmed. 

JJ had grabbed the call remote attached to the bedside, “We need a gurney in room 712…. no, not for the patient.”

The layers of red, burnt sienna, rust, deep auburn all layers of yours and Spencer’s blood mixing on the fabrics of your clothes, the rayon and cotton soaking and deflecting the viscous liquid in various stages. You nodded in understanding, the deep muscular ache was a familiar one, a regularly worked through pain. JJ had sat with Spencer once the doctor and nurses had readied an exam room. Your eyes glared at her, screaming ‘protect him’ from this. JJ’s fierce nature, the only person you would trust with Spencer during this time apart. The examine was over quickly, just like the pregnancy. You were allowed to shower and change once cleared. The bleach white towels in the private bathroom heavier than the innumerable hotel counterparts you had used in the three years with the BAU.  You were with child and now you were without. It had barely become a thought and it was taken from you. You sighed out a ragged breath, staring at yourself in the mirror.

You were without.

Two years later

Spencer patted the tuft of brown curls as he laid the tiny bundle into her bassinet. She was swaddled and breathing that reedy rhythm you had come to need as much as your own breath. She was perfect. Her tiny hands already showing strength and dexterity. You watched from the bed, the heavy shadows cloaking the exchange.

It was in the early morning hours that life’s colors became memories. The sepia tinged room filled with exhaustion and devotion. There had been many tears shed from that first pregnancy until these late night feedings. There would be many more ahead. But life had begun again, filled with the hope of a brighter world of tomorrows.

Request: “Could you please do an imagine where Spencer and the reader are a couple that work at the bau together and the reader gets pregnant but wants to surprise Reid and they go on a case together on which Spencer gets shot and the reader is left holding him and waiting for help and she gets a miscarriage, thank you I love you”  

A/N: Alright, so this request was pretty notorious when I first received it. I accepted it because I don’t get a lot of requests and it was content I hadn’t written before. It is rather detailed. Thank you for thinking of me and all the other people who turned it down (and if anyone else wrote it, I’m sorry I only saw the passes). I hope this covers all the angst the request suggested! I wanted to do something a little different style-wise. I hope you liked it. Also I am not a doctor, I am not sure if an epidural would be the first suggestion in this scenario, but I found it symbolically effective. xoxo Stu

[wild-azure]

11 Questions

I got tagged by @not-actually-ur-sassygayfriend so here it goes!

Rules:

Copy the rules.

Answer the questions given to you

Create 11 more for the next person to answer; tag 11 people

Questions asked of me:

1. What other languages do you wish you knew? What other countries do you wish you could visit or live in?

That’s two questions Warren  ;P But anyway: I wish my Spanish was better, and I wish I knew Italian (because I love the sound of it) and sign language (it’d be practical). I’d like to live in Jamaica for a time and learn about my heritage more, and I’d like to visit England, Spain, and Italy. And Canada! I really want to visit Canada someday! ;P

2. What sport/art do you do for therapy?

I pace sometimes when I’m anxious, and I often put my emotions into my writing. It’s probably why I’m so inconsistent with my writing habits, because I have to wait for the right mood to be upon me sometimes ^^’

3. I’ve been asking this around a lot. What kind of hands do you have? Answer with a short story about a scar, callus, etc.

I like to think I have writer’s hands. They’re quick and nimble on a keyboard. I’m the fastest typer in my family, and if given the right pen or pencil, I take a lot of delight in writing (on a side note, my favorite pen currently is the Precise V5 rolling ball extra fine ink pen, which you can get at Target for like $5 for a pack of 3. They don’t look like much, but they’re beautiful to write with!). As for scars, I have a large scar on my right wrist that’s shaped sort of like a backwards letter “L” written in a bubble font. I’m actually really fond of the scar, and there is a small story behind it. I got it after school on the second-to-last day of fifth grade. A bunch of girls from my girl scout troop were racing in front of the school. I thought I’d be fastest if I ran on the grass. I ended up tripping in a pothole that was hidden under the grass and ended up falling onto the pavement. I scraped that wrist pretty bad, but I thought nothing of it. The scrape though became infected (or nearly infected? It wasn’t healing well and the surrounding skin was all white and puss-y, and the doctor did stress the possibility of infection. All I remember was worrying that my hand was going to be amputated). It eventually healed, but we had to clean it daily including pouring rubbing alcohol over it every night and letting it dry out unbandaged. I hated that part >.<

4. When you get involved with a story, what’s the most important thing to you? (Story? Character development? Setting? etc...)

I’d say description and detail. That can apply to all of those aspects, but I love stories that are so vivid with description that they just leap off the page at you. I like to immerse myself in the story, so the more descriptive and detailed, the better!

5. Boom. You have powers. Are they magic or science? What kind and why?

I was literally just thinking about this 2 days ago! Ok, so I would have the power to make myself look any way I want. My main thought for this is that I can make myself look tough and intimidating if I’m in a situation that would normally make me, a tiny, unimposing girl, feel unsafe and insecure, but let’s face it: I’m pretty much going to use this power to give myself a big, fluffy tail when I’m in the comfort of my own home!

6. Into the Beautiful Grim. It’s a painting by Mike Lim, a.k.a. Daarken. I get a lot of judgy looks when I say it’s one of my favorites before I explain the backstory behind the piece. Short version, it was the centerpiece of an auction to raise money for his wife’s cancer treatment. The woman in the frame is (supposedly?) his wife, and the blue wisps (butterflies? flowers?) are the unknown hopes in the future. Do you have a piece of work that you love and adore but have to explain the backstory to people when you show them?

I can’t really say so, no. :/

7. Look in the mirror or take a selfie. What’s your favorite thing about yourself in this image?

I’ve really started to love my natural hairstyle and my eyebrows within the last couple years. See, my family taught me to hate my hair and my brows because they think my hair is wild and under groomed (it’s not; it’s just really prone to being mussed by the wind, but it has lovely curls and volume) and my eyebrows are too thick (my family is notorious for really thick eyebrows, but they prefer thin eyebrows; I think they’re bold and eye-catching and just need a bit of cleaning around the edges to make them pop more). I’ve just really started to value my own natural features more, and everything I love about myself is something that my family hates.

8. As some people know, I get lost staring in people’s eyes. What color are your eyes, and what kind of story do they tell?

You know what color my eyes are! ;P But for the sake of people who don’t: they’re dark brown, and I like to imagine they tell a story of strength and self-reliance tempered through pain and fear.

9. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it? Does it remind you of a person or place? And would you consider getting a tattoo of it?

“If you are a dreamer come in If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar A hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer If youre a pretender com sit by my fire For we have some flax golden tales to spin Come in! Come in!” - Shel Silverstein

This quote is my favorite. It inspires me and makes me think of imagination and creativity, particularly when it comes to writing. For all that, I don’t think I would ever get a tattoo of it. I’m very reluctant to consider tattooing myself, though I find tattoos to be beautiful and admire them on others.

10. Go tell somebody who’s made a difference in your life that you love them. Post their response.

He’s my boyfriend, so of course he said he loves me back ;P

11. This might be feeding my ego, and you can just send an answer to me in an ask instead. What’s your favorite interaction with me or with somebody else here on this website?

I really loved all the times we went out together back in senior year. You helped me keep going at some of my lowest times.

My Questions for Others:

1. They say there’s two sides to every story, so what’s your side of the story of how we met?

2. What’s the most useful life hack that you’ve ever come across?

3. If you could make one fictional character real, who would you choose and why?

4. What song are you currently or most recently obsessed with? Bonus: what song makes you think of your OTP?

5. What is your favorite kind of weather? Why?

6. Brag a little! What’s an achievement you’re proud of?

7. What do you think is your best quality? What’s one quality you wish you could improve?

8. What’s the kindest thing someone’s ever done for you?

9. Think about the best fictional villain you’ve ever seen. What made them the best at being a villain?

10. Pick one of the questions I answered above to answer yourself!

11. Pick one of the questions I asked to ask me!

I tag:

@blackwaterbbq, @arianwen44, @blissfullyintoxicated, @not-actually-ur-sassygayfriend (yes I know you tagged me to begin with, so you don’t have to come up with more questions or tag anyone else ;P), and anyone else who would like to answer my questions!

[jynandcassianandor]

Undercover

For Rebelcaptain week, Day 3

read it on ao3

So this basically came about because of this picture, which makes me think dirty thoughts every time I see it. Some dom!Jyn, but don’t worry Cassian is into it. Please avoid if it’s not your thing.

Words: 1431

Rated: Explicit

Cassian was on his knees, hands behind his head, troopers pointing their blasters on either side of him. There was no way he was getting out of this one. He only hoped Jyn had gotten away.

“What is going on here?”

Kriff.

With his head down he couldn’t see who had just entered the room, but he would know that voice anywhere, even with the Castellian accent she was using. Her skirts swished by him as she stood to confront the lead trooper.

“By order of Director Krennic, this man is a prisoner.” the trooper responded flatly.

“Krennic?” Jyn’s voice dripped disdain. “You know for a fact he has no authority here, as long as Moff Ssaria rules this sector.”

“He is a rebel spy, Senator.”

Jyn scoffed. “Rebel spy?? You give him too much credit.” Suddenly Cassian felt a hand petting his hair. “He is my pet.” Cassian swallowed hard. “Release him at once.”

He felt the binders being released, as he was roughly pulled to a standing position. He was finally able to take a good look at Jyn, and he was struck with duelling feelings of nervousness and a burning heat eating him up on the inside. She was in the formal dress of the Castellian ruling family, her long, flowing skirts punctuated by slits almost to the hip. The gossamer fabric that covered her torso and chest left very little to the imagination, and Cassian was forced to avert his eyes. Her hair fell in soft waves around her face, her features accentuated by make-up that Cassian had not even known she had owned. All in all, she fit perfectly the description of a Castellian senator working under the auspicious office of the notorious Moff Ssaria. Cassian was impressed.

“Come along now, you’ve kept me waiting long enough.” she grabbed Cassian by the collar and pulled him along, the troopers watching their every move.

---

“I thought you’d gone back to the ship.” Cassian hissed under his breath. They were in the corridor now, finally away from the troopers’ scrutiny.

“I couldn’t leave.” she turned quickly to look him in the eye, and the intensity he saw there almost stopped him short. “Besides, I have a plan to get us out of here, but you have to trust me.” she stopped outside a door to a private suite in the palace. She fixed him with a very serious look, her green eyes shining. “Just follow my lead, okay? They’re watching our every move.”

Cassian nodded. The door opened, and Jyn pulled him in.

The room was sumptuous, far beyond anything Cassian had ever seen. Silk sheets in hues Cassian never knew existed adorned the oversized bed in the middle of the room. To his consternation, this was where Jyn was leading them.

“Sit on the bed.” she commanded, her affected accent dripping boredom. Cassian couldn’t help but feel proud of how far she’d come in the little time she’d been doing Intelligence. The feeling fled when she promptly straddled him, hiking her skirts up almost to her waist. With her eyes she indicated the cameras hidden in each corner of the room. He nodded imperceptibly, struggling to concentrate on the plan as she rubbed deliciously against him. “Take off your jacket.”

He obliged, pulling his jacket off with shaking limbs. He forced himself to stay calm, even as her hands roamed over his shirt, as her nimble fingers unbuttoned it, slowly. His breath caught in his throat as her hands slipped under his shirt, meeting skin burning for her.

“You’re wearing far too many clothes for my taste.” she breathed into his ear, and he once again marvelled at how accurate her portrayal of a ruthless Castellian senator was - power hungry, and well-known for their sexual conquests. They took their queue from Moff Ssaria, who ruled Castell with an iron fist, using everyone and anyone for her own personal gain. Cassian wondered how far Jyn would take this.

“Take it all off.” she ordered. Cassian’s eyes went wide, but she showed no sign of backing down. He shrugged out of his shirt, and maneuvered around her to take off his pants. “All of it.”

Cassian had done a lot of things for the Rebellion, sacrificed so much more, but nothing compared to the situation he found himself in. Naked, under Jyn Erso. He tried to play the part of obedient slave, but he found in many ways, he was not acting.

Her gaze took him in and she paused for a moment, and for a split second Cassian thought she wouldn’t go through with it. Then with a speed and force he had never felt from her before she was kissing him, lips hungry and rough on his mouth. He had to take a breath when she pulled away, but then her lips were on his neck, and he couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips.

Jyn was startled a bit by his reaction, as if she didn’t expect him to be enjoying this. She looked up at him with a bemused expression, and he at least had the good sense to look sheepish. She raked her teeth lightly on the same spot, all the while keeping her eyes on his face, and smiled almost triumphantly when he moaned again, this time bucking up against her.

“Mmm, impatient.” she tsked at him, pushing him down by his shoulders onto the bed. For the next few minutes she teased him, lavishing his neck, her hands igniting his skin where they roamed. Cassian called up all of his resources in resisting torture, but there was no resisting this. He was hard for her and he was embarrassed, but this was Jyn, and she knew what she was doing and he trusted her. There was no choice now but to give in.

Tentatively, he touched her, just a hand light on the small of her back and she froze. She looked at him, green eyes searching, and he smiled, just a quick uptick of his mouth, hoping the cameras wouldn’t catch it. He needed her to know that he was with her, that he would take it as far as she needed him to. Jyn’s face softened for a second in understanding, before the mask returned.

“Let’s do this.” she whispered, and then she was pushing her underwear aside and guiding him inside her, and simultaneously they both took a sharp intake of breath, their eyes meeting as if to say we’re actually doing this. The shock of it wore off rather quickly, as the sensation just became too much. Cassian couldn’t help himself, bucking up into her and she responded, moving her hips desperately against him. He tried to hold back, to pace himself, but the sight of Jyn, nipples perked and straining against the sheer fabric of her top, an exquisite blush coloring her chest and neck, was enough to send him over the edge. He came hard, with a groan he couldn’t contain, grasping her hips. The sound she made when she came was something he would never forget for the rest of his life, and he idly wondered if he would ever be able to hear it again.

They were frozen in time for a moment, before Jyn collapsed heavily on top of him, and he fought the urge to gather her in his arms and lavish her with soft kisses. She turned over and lay on the bed for a moment, and so many thoughts ran through Cassian’s mind it made him dizzy. He repressed all of them, and waited instead.

“Get dressed.” she finally sat up, throwing his clothes at him and went to the door. Cassian dressed hurriedly, as Jyn adjusted her own clothing. “It’s time for you to leave now, I have a meeting to attend.” she affected a disinterested tone for whoever was surely watching and listening. “Come, I’ll show you the way out.”

He nodded, and opening the door they both stepped out into the corridor, finally away from prying eyes and ears. He knew they needed to get out of there, knew Kay was waiting for them back on the ship, but he couldn’t resist taking her hand. She turned back to him, eyes questioning.

There was so much to say, thank you for coming back for me, about what happened in there…, i’m actually in love with you, but he knew it was neither the time or place, so he just squeezed her hand.

She squeezed back, a smile radiant on her lips. “Let’s get out of here.”

A/N: I did some very light research on Wookiepedia so please ignore any glaring inconsistencies lol

[godlivesandloves]

Nikon Z 5 Review: Full-frame But Too Slow

“The Nikon Z 5 would be a great entry-level full-frame camera if not for its unreliable low light autofocus and slow burst speed.”

Read More : Buy Best Camera

Good image quality

Compact

Affordable

Dual SD Slots

Slow low light autofocus

Inconsistent autofocus in mixed/low light

Slow 4.5 fps burst mode

As the race for full-frame mirrorless settles from a sprinter’s pace to a marathon, camera lineups are getting more varied — and less expensive. The Nikon Z 5 is the company’s most affordable full-frame camera currently on the market, less expensive than even the aging D610 DSLR. The Nikon Z 5, priced at $1,400 or $1,700 with a kit lens, mixes the size, ergonomics, stabilization, and even most of the image quality of the company’s pricier Z 6. In fact, the Z 5 even offers an upgrade the Z 6 and Z 7 don’t offer — dual SD card slots.

The entry-level designation, however, introduces a few significant cut features from the pricier models. Speed is significantly slashed, 4K video can only be captured with a crop, and the design isn’t quite as rugged. The question is, does the Nikon Z 5 offer enough to drop $1,400 on? Dubbed as a camera for “more than just photographers,” who is the Z 5 best for?

I spent almost two weeks trying out the Z 5 to see where the entry-level full-frame stands. In that time, I believe that the Nikon Z 5 showed itself to be a good entry-level full-frame camera unfortunately held back by subpar low-light autofocus and sluggish burst speeds.

Simple design

While the Z 6’s design is a near twin to the Z 7, the Z 5 strays a bit more from that family line in ways that are both good and bad. On the positive side, the Z 5 manages to fit two UHS-II SD card slots, ideal for either creating in-camera backups so a card error doesn’t spell disaster or to create overflow for less card swapping. The Z 5 also doesn’t use XQD cards, a good move for an entry-level camera considering the card type retails in the triple digits, a lot when compared to the affordability king that is SD, where many high-capacity cards can be had for as little as $20.

Despite adding an extra card slot, the Z5 is only a 10th of an inch wider than the Z 6 and Z 7 and doesn’t add any weight. At less than a pound and a half, the camera is light enough for all-day shoots. (I can’t say the same for the rough texture of the included neck strap, however.) Paired with the kit lens, the Z 5 didn’t cause any major aches and pains while on a two-mile hike.

Hillary K. Grigonis/Digital Trends

The Z 5 uses a magnesium alloy frame but combines that with a plastic exterior that feels just like an entry-level Nikon DSLR. The body is weather-sealed, but it’s not as robust of a seal as the Z 6 and Z 7. As a result, I would still keep an inexpensive camera rain poncho in my bag for anything more than a drizzle.

The camera’s control scheme is a nice hybrid blend between keeping controls accessible yet not overwhelming beginners. The top of the camera doesn’t house an extra LCD screen. I argue that a top-facing LCD isn’t terribly unusual for mirrorless, but its absence here strays from Nikon’s design choices in its entry-level full-frame DSLR, the D610, which kept the screen intact.

The camera’s control scheme is a nice hybrid blend between keeping controls accessible yet not overwhelming beginners.

Instead, the mode dial sits on top within reach of the shutter button, dual control dials, and shortcuts for recording video, adjusting ISO, and tweaking exposure compensation. With some practice, all those controls could be accessed without pulling the camera away from your face, though differentiating between the ISO and exposure compensation button is tough to do blind, unlike with the easily discernible raised record button.

Despite being an entry to the full-frame category, the Z 5 keeps my all-time favorite camera control: The joystick. It’s a quick and ergonomic method to adjust where the autofocus point is. Swapping between autofocus modes, however, as well as a number of other controls that Nikon’s DSLRs leave plenty of room for, requires jumping into the quick menu or assigning to the two custom buttons up front. Most beginners won’t mind, however, because the camera’s controls feel less daunting to learn. Shortcuts to adjust the burst mode and a back-button focus option, as well as playback, menu, and display options, take up a remainder of the camera’s rear controls.

Ports were not stripped for the budget price either — opposite the dual SD card slots, the Z 5 still includes ports for mic, headphones, HDMI, USB, and a cable trigger. Like many full-frame mirrorless cameras, the Z 5 lacks a pop-up flash.

The lower price doesn’t terribly truncate the Z 5’s viewfinder, either. At 3.69 million dots, the electronic viewfinder shows sufficient detail and is denser than the also-new Panasonic Lumix S5. Importantly, the Z 5 shows a pretty accurate representation of what you are about to capture, unlike some budget cameras that I’ve tried that don’t quite show an accurate preview of the exposure or color balance. The 3.2-inch touchscreen tilts for shooting from high angles but doesn’t flip forward for vlogging or selfies.

Stuttering performance

Budget cameras are notorious for being slow, and the Z 5 is no exception. Despite having the same processor as the 12 fps Z 6, the Z 5 offers less than half that speed. Some might argue that is because the Z 5 uses SD cards rather than the faster but more expensive XQD cards, but the transfer rates we are looking at here are well below the threshold for SD speeds. Curious.

With a maximum burst speed of 4.5 frames per second, I’m not even sure why there’s both a low- and high-speed option since even high speed is rather slow. The shutter speed is thankfully still a max of 1/8,000 (entry-level cameras used to be capped at 1/4000 regularly), handy for bright situations.

The Z 5’s 4.5 fps top speed will plug away for about 21 shots shooting RAW + JPEG. The official buffer count listed on the back of the camera is 16, but the pace is slow enough that the camera writes a few of those shots while taking the rest. You’ll eke out a few more shots in JPEG mode, with the camera shooting for more than 20 seconds before stopping.

The Z 5’s autofocus in limited light is consistently poor.

What’s a bit harder to determine from a quick look at the camera’s tech specs, however, is the autofocus. With a 273-point hybrid system, the Z 5’s system looks almost identical to the Z 6, until you dig a little further into the specifics. And if you dig far enough, you’ll find the camera’s biggest flaw: An autofocus detection range down to only -2 EV, or -3 using the camera’s low-light autofocus. However, Nikon rated the AF in low light with an f/2 lens, so the kit lens and many other lenses available for the system won’t work as well as Nikon’s specifications claim, a claim which is already not great. It’s not lying outright, but it is misleading.

That turns out to be the culprit of why the Z 5’s autofocus struggled indoors. Even in a room with windows on three of the walls, the Z 5 was slow to focus. In dim light, the camera would often take two to even five seconds before locking onto the subject and occasionally failing to find the subject at all. While not an issue for still subjects, shooting any sort of movement in limited light becomes problematic with such a delay. The camera will automatically activate low-light autofocus mode, however — a plus considering the original Z 6 and Z 7 require activating the mode in the menu. Low-light autofocus is more accurate and allows for focusing in tough scenarios, but is slow.

Because of how the autofocus system works, the camera will also struggle to focus on dark objects. But, as is true with any contrast detection system, that should be alleviated by the phase-detection points of a hybrid system. The Z 5 has a much easier time focusing on subjects with a lot of contrast, such as lights or a light-colored object on a dark background, but it shouldn’t struggle as much as it did on dark objects. It’s a hybrid autofocus system that’s acting like a contrast-only one in some cases, and that is disappointing.

Hillary K. Grigonis/Digital Trends

Low-light autofocus was a complaint on the Z 6 and even Z 7, with a tendency to be hit or miss, but the Z 5’s autofocus in limited light is consistently poor. The Z 6, by comparison, is rated to hit -6 EV in low-light mode, where the Z 5 is only at -3.5.

What makes the low-light autofocus truly disappointing is that the Z 5 would otherwise be an excellent camera in the dark. The five-axis, in-body stabilization is solid. Doing everything I could to help the camera stay steady short of a tripod — holding my breath and bracing the camera with my elbows — I could shoot down to nearly a half-second at 24mm on the kit lens. That’s an excellent system for the price of the camera, but the slow low-light autofocus will make shots difficult before the camera even needs to go that low. Of course, stabilization isn’t just for low light — the stabilization will come in handy when working with telephoto lenses.

The focus system detects eyes fairly easily and quickly.

Continuous autofocus gets sharp photos most of the time with slow action, though roughly half of the shots where the subject was coming directly at the camera ended up soft. It’s not designed for action but will grab a few sharp shots in more general use, like photographing kids or people moving at a walking pace.

The Z 5’s autofocus isn’t all bad, however. Eye detection AF worked well and even beats out the pricier Canon EOS R6 in focusing on eyelashes when shooting from a high angle. The focus system detects eyes fairly easily and quickly. The system isn’t fast enough for say, using while shooting sports, but as mentioned the Z 5 isn’t an action camera. Pet eye AF is included, but I couldn’t get it to work on my cat. (To be fair, I couldn’t get the Canon version of this to work on my cat either.)

The Z 5 adds a new autofocus bracketing option that automatically adjusts the focal length between shots in a series in order to create a focus stack later on a computer. The new feature is easy to use for anyone who has worked with Nikon bracketing or time lapses before. But the shots are activated by pressing start in the menu — which means you see the menu in the viewfinder and can’t perfect the composition before hitting start. It’s a usability flaw that we hope to see improved in later firmware updates.

Excellent images and video

The Z 5 makes fewer sacrifices when it comes to image quality. Sporting a 24.3-megapixel full-frame sensor, the Z 5 has just a smidgen less resolution than the pricier Z 6. The larger sensor size makes bokeh easy to create even with the kit and offers a lot of flexibility in post. Detail is good, and, when perfectly focused, even the kit lens is quite sharp.

ISO 12800 with noise reduction and crop Hillary K. Grigonis/Digital Trends

Lower resolution bodes well for ISO and, under perfect conditions, I could edit out the noise of an ISO 12800 shot with only a slight loss of detail. Photos are best kept under ISO 6400, where there is some noticeable color noise, but the kind that’s easily corrected with software.

Color was equivalent to what I would expect coming from a Nikon DSLR — on the whole accurate, with an occasional tendency to skew the white balance a tad green for my taste. Skin tones are rendered fairly well.

RAW files are also consistent with what I would expect from an entry-level, full-frame Nikon DSLR. I could recover a good amount of detail and even texture from the shadows, to the point of almost reversing a near silhouette. As with almost any camera, blown-out highlights are tougher to recover, and photographers are best to err on the side of too dark rather than too light.

The Nikon Z 5 offers 4K video, but at a 1.7x crop and without all the bells and whistles of the Z 6 and Z 7, such as N-Log. The 1.7x crop means both a loss of light and lenses won’t be as wide, but it’s not unusual for an entry-level option. Colors and sharpness are consistently good, as with the images, and the Z 5 does less focus searching mid-recording than a Nikon DSLR.

Our Take

The Nikon Z 5 is a good entry-level full-frame camera — but slow low-light autofocus, inconsistent accuracy in mixed lighting, and a sluggish burst mode keep the camera from being a great entry-level full-frame option. The Nikon Z 5 is a good option for enthusiast photographers, influencers, and other creatives regularly taking photos in good light.

Image quality and design are both excellent, while the slower performance is Nikon’s clear differentiator when it comes to the extra $400 for the Z 6. If the Z 5 was $1000 or even $1200, it would be an easy recommendation; but at just $400 less than a significantly better performing camera, it’s a hard sell.

Nikon D3500 vs D5600

How long will it last?

Camera bodies tend to last a few years, and the Z 5 is likely no exception. The weather sealing and materials aren’t as high-end as the Z 6 and Z 7, but with proper care, the camera body should serve you well into the future.

Is there a better alternative?

If you want a full-frame Nikon and can’t spend more than $1,400, no. Even the aging Nikon D610 only focuses down to -1 EV and is $200 more at list price. Waiting to save up another $400 for the Z 6 is a good idea, however, for any photographer regularly taking photos indoors or of moving subjects.

Yet, the full-frame mirrorless market is getting crowded for photographers not yet invested in a lens system or willing to make a switch. The Canon EOS RP has a better autofocus system thanks to Dual Pixel technology and is rated to focus as low as -5EV, but lacks in-body stabilization. Finding another $1,400 camera is difficult to do outside those two models and older generations. The Sony a7 III is a faster camera, but is $600 more. The very new Panasonic Lumix S5 offers better autofocus, more advanced video modes, and faster bursts, but again, sits at the $2,000 price range, not the under-$1,500 range.

Moving into the crop sensor category will fix those performance issues, but sacrifices that larger sensor. Nikon’s own Z 50 is much faster with similar ergonomics and lens compatibility, yet the low light autofocus still isn’t ideal. The Fujifilm X-T30 has a faster burst, more video features, and excellent autofocus, but it lacks stabilization. The Sony a6600 offers a fast burst and autofocus while keeping the stabilization, but again, has that smaller sensor.

Should you buy it?

Buy the Nikon Z 5 if you want a full-frame Nikon, largely take pictures outdoors in good light, and can’t spend more than $1,400. If you plan on lots of shooting in less than ideal conditions, however, including in limited light or fast-moving subjects, avoid the Z 5. Wait until you can save up another $400 for the Z 6, or consider a crop sensor or the unstabilized EOS RP.

[96thdayofrage]

Ever since I began investigating the extremist groups lining up behind Trump last spring, several of their leaders have made big claims to me about an alt-right following in Silicon Valley and across the broader tech industry. “The average alt-right-ist is probably a 28-year-old tech-savvy guy working in IT,” white nationalist Richard Spencer insisted when I interviewed him a few weeks before the election. “I have seen so many people like that.” Andrew Anglin, the publisher of the neo-Nazi Daily Stormer, told me he gets donations from Silicon Valley, and that Santa Clara County, home to Apple and Intel, is his site’s largest traffic source. Chuck Johnson, the publisher of the conspiracy-mongering site Got News, said he gets lots of page views from the San Francisco Bay Area.

“If you even try to posit that racism and sexism aren’t why women and minorities aren’t making it, that it’s some combination of talent and values, people’s heads just explode.”

After Peinovich was outed, he also insisted to me that many techies secretly identify with the alt-right, which he attributed to a backlash against the “corporate feminist and diversity agenda” of tech companies. “The fact that speaking up about this virtually guarantees career and social suicide, as in my case, shows why so many white males in tech would be attracted to the alt-right.”

None of these alt-right figures would provide any data to support their claims. As I’ve reported, some alt-right sites have wildly overstated their reach. Moreover, the tech industry is renowned for its globalist outlook: Public-opinion surveys conducted by a Stanford political economist have found that rank-and-file workers in Silicon Valley exhibit less racial resentment and more favorable views toward most forms of immigration than average Americans.

Nonetheless, “alt-techies,” as Spencer and others call them, do appear to play a role in a movement that first incubated in the backwaters of the internet and eventually spread online with the rise of Trump. Some heroes of the far right are associated with tech: They include former Breitbart News “tech editor” Milo Yiannopoulos; the infamous neo-Nazi hacker Andrew Auernheimer (a.k.a. Weev); and the video gaming vlogger Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg, whose “Pewdiepie” YouTube channel featuring Nazi-themed jokes has 54 million subscribers. (Last month Kjellberg apologized for the jokes and said he is not a Nazi.)

There are also successful figures in the tech industry who appeal to and have commingled with the alt-right: The DeploraBall, a gathering of far-right activists and conspiracy theorists during Trump’s inauguration, was co-organized by software investor Jeff Giesea and attended by tech billionaire and Trump backer Peter Thiel.San Francisco-based tech entrepreneur Curtis Yarvin is known for launching the pro-authoritarian “neoreactionary” movement and reportedly has been in contact with Trump’s chief strategist, Steve Bannon. (Yarvin denies this.) Giesea and Yarvin, both of whom I interviewed, reject the “alt-right” label for its associations with white nationalism, yet they share the movement’s disdain for the race and gender politics of the left. (Thiel’s media representative did not respond to a request for comment from him.)

To further gauge the influence of the alt-right in tech, I interviewed seven people in the industry who embrace aspects of the movement. They included current or former employees of Google, Facebook, Yahoo, and Twitter, some of whom responded to me after I reached out to them through their Facebook pages. They asked that I not publish their names, citing concerns about their jobs. I also interviewed two techies associated with the Daily Stormer; one declined to disclose his identity to me but has a posting history on the site indicative of working in tech in the Bay Area.

Three of the alt-techies I interviewed said explicitly that they were white nationalists. The others did not identify that way, but they emphasized their belief in racial or gender differences in IQ or social behavior, and strongly rejected identity politics, affirmative action, and what they see as toxic political correctness. Their views shed light on how the alt-right has found a receptive audience on the margins, at least, of the tech world.

A former product manager for a top tech company who now consults for Twitter told me that white and Asian male domination in the tech sector has more to do with innate abilities and culture than discrimination. “If you even try to posit that racism and sexism aren’t why women and minorities aren’t making it, that it’s some combination of talent and values, people’s heads just explode,” he says. “They just refuse to even float the idea.”

“I’m not necessarily saying any one race is bad,” says “Mark,” a former software developer for Yahoo and Facebook. “But we should at least agree that statistically, race and sex genes do make us differ enough on average to make things uneven in certain areas.”

“The history of nearly every field of science and engineering was driven by white Europeans,” declares a 45-year-old computer chip designer who says he lives in Berkeley, California, and who posts under the name “White Morpheus” on the Daily Stormer. “Nobody will say their real feelings [about the alt-right] because a mob of fat blue-hair complainers will drive you away from your career forever. Peter Thiel coming out [for Trump] was a joy to us all, because he could show his support for the Trump train where we could not.”

In 1990, Ku Klux Klan “Grand Dragon” Don Black created Stormfront as a dial-up computer bulletin board for former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke’s campaign for Louisiana governor. By 1995 it had evolved into the first major public website dedicated to promoting white supremacy, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate groups. But online hate speech mostly remained confined to its traditional base of neo-Nazis and Klansmen until the launch in 2003 of 4chan. Originally conceived as an anonymous message board for discussing Japanese anime and manga, 4chan attracted a cult following among techies at around the same time that its political discussion board, now known as /pol/ (short for “politically incorrect”), became a hotbed for racist jokes and ironically intended Hitler memes.

The political glue binding the predominately young, male 4chan community is essentially anti-leftist: a disdain for identity politics and so-called “social justice warriors.” This attitude thrives amid a culture of anonymity, in which status ostensibly comes from page views rather than one’s gender, ethnic, or social background. “Larry,” a software engineer for Google and an alt-right fan, points to the infamous 4chan post, “There Are No Girls on the Internet,” where one 4channer profanely lectures another about how online life is a meritocracy in which gender should play no role.

Yet, hostility toward women and people of color thrives on 4chan and on Reddit, the social sharing site whose political and gaming forums /r/the_donald and /r/kotakuinaction are popular with the alt-right. In 2014, 4chan and Reddit users launched an elaborate campaign of rape and death threats against female video game developers that became known as Gamergate. They found champions in Yiannopoulos, who argued that the true victims were the men whose gaming culture was being destroyed by “feminist bullies” and the “achingly politically correct” tech press, and in Mike Cernovich, a blogger who has trumpeted the neuroticism and other alleged weaknesses of women as well as what he claims to be the criminal proclivities of certain ethnic groups. When former Reddit CEO Ellen Pao last year banned five “harassing subreddits,” including one called ShitNiggersSay, the move unleashed weeks of bigoted trolling (a.k.a. “shitposting”) and digital vandalism on the site—and a migration to a Reddit copycat site, Voat. (More recently, similar migrations took place after Reddit banned /r/altright and discussion of the fake-news scandal #PizzaGate.)

The anonymity of 4chan and Reddit makes it impossible to tell the extent to which they are dominated by tech workers, though an abiding interest from the tech presssuggests considerable overlap. “It’s definitely geek culture,” says McGill University cultural anthropologist Gabriella Coleman, who has studied how 4chan gave rise to the hactivist group Anonymous. “Clint,” a Valley cybersecurity startup founder and longtime visitor to the site, told me that the majority of active users on 4chan/pol/ are in tech, though typically in lower-level system administrator and tech support jobs that come with a lot of downtime during the workday. Dale Beran, who recently wrote about the political history of 4chan, argues that techies have become less dominant as 4chan and similar sites have expanded, though they still play a role: “We can define [4chan users] by their retreat into the computer, which means a lot of them have computer skills—whether that’s networking or coding or whatever—but to some it may have simply been World of Warcraft.”

“Most contributions that built the internet came from white people,” declares one notorious hacker.

Before Gamergate, Larry, the Google software engineer, was “a standard Democrat straight-voting person,” as he puts it. But reading about the movement in the tech press and on pro-Gamergate websites “did highlight some of the inconsistencies and hypocrisies with positions on the left,” he says. A comment in a Gamergate thread led Larry to the Unz Review, a website run by Palo Alto tech entrepreneur and former GOP gubernatorial candidate Ron Unz. There, Larry says he was exposed to treatises on “human biological diversity” expounding on the supposed cognitive differences between intellectually superior and inferior races.

Human biological diversity has also gained currency in the Valley through computer scientist Curtis Yarvin, who writes under the pseudonym Mencius Moldbug. Starting in 2007, in series of blog posts often cited by alt-right followers, Yarvin laid out a political philosophy known as neoreaction or the “Dark Enlightenment.” Combining a technocratic sensibility with reactionary political thought, neoreaction rejects Enlightenment concepts—such as democracy and equality of the races and sexes—and instead advocates something much closer to authoritarianism. Yarvin believes government would work much better if run like a tech company and helmed by an all-powerful CEO president. He spoke admiringly of Napoleon, whom he considers to be “kind of the Steve Jobs of France.”

Yarvin’s blog combines dorky programmer lingo with dense references to obscure, proto-fascist political texts. “When I started blogging 10 years ago, the availability of completely unorthodox written content [online] was mostly confined to the pre-1923 corpus, which Google did such a nice job scanning,” Yarvin told me in an email. He believes that software programmers are attracted to his writings because they “are always looking for something to do with their restless, fidgety brains. Especially if it’s weird and doesn’t involve dealing with physical humans.”

Silicon Valley billionaire Peter Thiel, who reportedly gave Trump more than $1 million during the campaign and was an adviser on Trump’s transition team, has circled neoreactionary ideas. “I no longer believe that freedom and democracy are compatible,” he wrote on the Cato Institute’s blog in 2009, adding that women and “welfare beneficiaries” have through their voting habits “rendered the notion of ‘capitalist democracy’ into an oxymoron” (He clarified two weeks later that he supports women’s suffrage and redirected blame for the supposed demise of democracy on “unelected technocratic agencies.”)

Thiel is reportedly an investor in Yarvin’s cloud computing company, though Yarvin told me that he and Thiel have never discussed neoreaction. Michael Anissimov, another well-known neoreactionary blogger, was formerly the media director of the Machine Intelligence Research Institute, which has received funding from the Thiel Foundation.

While a student at Stanford University in 1987, Thiel founded the conservative Stanford Review to inspire campus debate by “presenting alternative viewpoints.” In the 1995 book The Diversity Myth: Multiculturalism and Political Intolerance on Campus, Thiel and former Stanford Review editor-in-chief David O. Sacks argued that multiculturalism at colleges was hurting education. In one bizarre passage, they speculated that some college date-rape cases were actually “seductions that are later regretted”—a comment for which Thiel apologized last October, telling Forbes, “Rape in all forms is a crime. I regret writing passages that have been taken to suggest otherwise.”

DeploraBall co-sponsor Jeff Giesea, also a former Stanford Review editor, worked for Thiel Capital Management in the late 1990s. Last year, Giesea partnered with far-right blogger Mike Cernovich on MAGA3X, a digital operation dedicated to waging meme warfare on behalf of Trump’s campaign. Enlisting a network of pro-Trump Twitter influencers such as former BuzzFeed employee Anthime Gionet (a.k.a. Baked Alaska) and right-wing troll Jack Posobiec, the group spread Breitbart News contentand memes based on conspiracy theories such as #SpiritCooking and #Pizzagate. The DeploraBall stirred controversy among the alt-right when Giesea and Cernovich decided to remove Gionet from their “featured guests” list after he posted several anti-Semitic tweets. But Giesea told me that he generally agrees with the views of alt-right fellow travelers such as Yiannopoulous. In January, he told BuzzFeed, “I see Trumpism as the only practical and moral path to save Western civilization from itself.”

In 2014, Jesse Jackson began pushing Silicon Valley tech companies to disclose statistics about the racial and gender composition of their workforces. By the following summer, he had pressured Google, Facebook, Apple, and many other major tech companies to reveal their paucity of black, Hispanic, and female employees and commit to making improvements. But when he appeared on Reddit that summer to answer questions about diversity in tech, he faced a virulent backlash. By far the most up-voted question began, “You are an immoral, hate-filled race baiter that has figured out how to manipulate the political system for your own gain.”

The comment came from an anonymous account that was later deleted; few people in Silicon Valley are willing to question the value of diversity out in the open. “If there was [opposition to diversity policy], it’s probably something someone says to themselves in the car on the way home or on the bus on the way back to San Francisco,” says Reed Galen, a GOP consultant who advises tech companies and has been trolled online by the alt-right over his criticism of Trump.

Chuck Johnson, who runs the pro-Trump site Got News from his home in Fresno, California, and claims to have received funding offers from wealthy tech investors, points to an obvious outlet for closeted alt-techies: “A lot of these people see a sort of ostracism takes place [after they question the value of diversity], and they either rebel against it internally or they go online and they have a different identity and they shitpost on Reddit.”

Several alt-techies I interviewed said they were fans of A Troublesome Inheritance, a national bestseller published in 2014 by former New York Times science writer Nicholas Wade that makes a case for the existence of differences in average IQ and behavior between races. The book and others like it have been widely criticized by geneticists as misleading, overly speculative, and not based on scientific consensus, but the alt-techies claim such critiques are just political correctness. “Nobody wants to touch it or admit it for fear of being branded alt-right,” Mark, the Facebook engineer, told me.

“Tomorrow, being a Hispanic, Black, Muslim or woman in the USA is going to be very scary,” the Latino founder of a Silicon Valley startup wrote on Facebook on election night.

White supremacists see the historical dominance of Silicon Valley by white males as a reflection of the world’s natural order. “The reality is that for the vast majority of all human civilization, the majority of makers have been white,” insists Andrew Auernheimer, a.k.a. Weev, a notorious troll and hacker who says he does tech support for the Daily Stormer and The Right Stuff. “Most contributions that built the internet came from white people,” he says, but now “our contributions are essentially being stolen from us.”

Alt-techies are scornful of South Asians working in Silicon Valley under H-1B visas. White Morpheus, the Daily Stormer reader, told me that he became a white supremacist after working with “unqualified subcontinentals who were brought in by visa fraud to drive down American engineering wages” and who “produce subpar work product.” (Before I contacted him, White Morpheus had posted on Daily Stormer about forming a neo-Nazi meetup group in Silicon Valley and using programming tools to create more video games “like Angry Goy.”)

The H-1B visa program, which Trump has vowed to reform, is unpopular among many tech workers due to concerns about its effect on wages and job security. Studies have shown that the largest recipients of H-1B visas are outsourcing firms, and that H-1B workers get paid less money than their American counterparts for the same work. But hardcore racists see an opening to turn the H-1B debate into a recruitment tool in the Valley. “A bill is being introduced in the House of Representatives that will neutralize the economic advantages these anti-American companies get from gaming the H1-b visa system,” a contributor to the Daily Stormer wrote recently. “If the cucks in Congress don’t block it, the not-so-humanitarian motives of big business in browning and third-worldizing America will be revealed.”

“Tomorrow, being a Hispanic, Black, Muslim or woman in the USA is going to be very scary,” the Latino founder of a Silicon Valley startup wrote on Facebook on election night. The post elicited an outpouring of solidarity from many Bay Area techies—but not from Andrew Torba, an alum of the Y-Combinator tech incubator, who tweeted a screenshot of the post with the line “Build the wall.”

When other Y-Combinator graduates began criticizing Torba on Facebook, he waded into the fray: “All of you: Fuck off,” he wrote. “Take your morally superior, elitist, virtue signaling bullshit and shove it.” Using an alt-right term meant to demean mainstream conservatives, he added, “I call it like I see it, and I helped meme a president into office, cucks.”

Y-Combinator soon banned Torba from its alumni network for “speaking in a threatening, harassing way towards other YC founders,” in violation of its ethics policy. Torba denied threatening or harassing YC founders and called the ban “a quintessential example of Silicon Valley censorship in action.” He later turned down my request to speak with him about the incident by posting parts of my email to him on social media with the comment “We don’t interview with fake news sites.”

Picking fights online may have helped Torba’s startup Gab, a social-media network that quickly positioned itself as a haven for alt-right-ers banned from Twitter. Gab’s frog logo is reminiscent of the alt-right mascot Pepe the Frog, and Torba has posted on Gab what could be construed as riffs on the Pepe hand signal and the alt-right’s red-pill meme. (A Gab spokesman said Torba does not identify as part of the alt-right.) Trump’s victory seemed to encourage other alt-techies to speak up, albeit pseudonymously.

“What if some cultures are better?” a commenter wrote a few days later on Y-Combinator’s popular social forum, Hacker News. “Why should we respect foreign cultures if they don’t respect our own? Why should you lose your job if you make a joke in public that some people deem offensive? Why is racism against whites and sexism against men acceptable?”

Another commenter on the thread chimed in: “Based on the tone of the comments around here lately, I’m getting a sense that HN has been populated by closeted alt-right for a while now.” (A few weeks later, Hacker News announced a “political detox week” in which political stories and threads were banned.)

A similar controversy has played out in recent months on Reddit—another young, male techie-dominated site—as r/The_Donald has risen to become one of the site’s most active subreddits. Its participants are notorious for trolling other Reddit communities and attacking people based on their religion, race, gender, and sexual identity, as Gizmodo‘s Bryan Menegus has documented. Citing two former Trump campaign officials, Politico‘s Ben Schreckinger recently reported that Trump’s campaign team privately communicated last fall with r/The_Donald’s most active users to seed new trends and feed catchy memes from the site back to Trump social-media director Dan Scavino.

The gaming vlogger Pewdiepie, whose YouTube channel is the world’s largest, made rape jokes early in his career and sometimes uses the word “slut” as an insult. Since August, he has made nine videos featuring Nazi imagery or anti-Semitic humor, according to an investigation by the Wall Street Journal. (He later apologized but also said the Journal took the remarks out of context.) In a vlog posted in January that has been viewed more than 7 million times, he jokes about getting banned from Fiverr, a website where freelancers offer their services for $5, after hiring people to make a video of themselves holding a sign that said, “DEATH TO ALL JEWS”—drawing kudos from neo-Nazis. In February, Disney’s Maker Studios said it would no longer run PewDiePie’s network and YouTube canceled the release of the second season of his reality show, Scare PewDiePie.

The alt-techies I spoke with remain aware of the risks of emerging further from the shadows. “If I posted publicly about what I told you, I’d get fired,” says Larry, the Google software engineer. “Even with Trump, there is huge cultural inertia.”