#father carden

[lancedoncrimsonwings]

I oopsied

Idea blatantly stolen from @painted-doe 's Bucky/Steve Zola post

[ace-and-ranty]

The funny thing is, The Cruel Prince made me absolutely feral when I first read it. HOWEVER. It was not because I gave a fuck about Cardan. Because I didn't. I didn't give it a single fuck.

I was too busy having ENORMOUS feelings about Jude and her step-father.

Like?? I'm sorry?? You ruined my life, and yet that is simply your nature?? When you took me in you were being responsible, and you tried your best to love me, but in the process your ruined me for the human world?? Your murdered my mom, but you read me bedtime stories??

WHO CARES ABOUT CARDEN, ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING SEEING THIS???

[everlastingdreams]

Little sneak peak for The Patience Of A Heart.

You tried to just put the letter under your plate and hoped it would be ignored.

Uncle Carden was not willing to just ignore the strange letter “Dear y/n, have you received a letter?”

Like he didn’t know damn well that you had…

Was he testing you now??

You feigned innocence “Yes, Uncle. I will look at it after the meal, it would be rude to do it now.”

He gestured around the room “Oh, come now. We are not so stern on things. Go on, read it.”

[feathcrcd]

@stxrfclls

expectations had wrapped their claws around her throat and inseparably stuck on it ever since she was born. her mother always expecting to be her doom, her father to become the warrior that she now was, and what a sad thing it was that all of them were met. the male sitting across the table from her, however, was the complete opposite of what she expected a peregryn fae should be. the atmosphere between the last two remaining at the dinner table was a high contrast of the calmness that seeped off carden and the stiff coldness radiating from celeste. despite feeling the urge to leave the table, she decided to take her time with finishing her wine. it was also a beneficial decision, for the wine stash in her chambers. she was surprised to see him still lingering though. " you seem deep in thought, " she noted simply, locking her eyes with his dark hues, her head slightly bent and her fingernails tapping against her glass. " have you any updates on the other courts revelations about the return of magic ? "

[h-didanart]

Hmmmm. Favorite memories of each Bloodmoon? Whether they be funny, heartfelt, cozy, bloodthirsty, or whatever. Just whatever their favorite memories are.

*evil laughter* you have no idea what you’ve just unleashed upon yourself

I have well over 12 Bloodmoons… Let’s get started :)

Swap (Scythe and Fang)— pre-redemption, making the deal with Sun to keep their family safe, they are very proud of having come to that agreement. Post-redemption, watching the stars with Gemini, they do that a lot, she really enjoys the time spent together with the astral

Retired (Bloody//Buck and Harvest//Styx)— up to their current canon, any time Harvest laughs at Bloody’s jokes, and Bloody going on rambles over human bone structure and the differences with different animals (first is Bloody’s, second is Harvest’s)

Separated (Hunter and Harvest)— Harvest’s is finally reuniting with her twin and family and being carried away with her twin so they could finally rest. Hunter’s is waking up at home next to his twin after finally reuniting after a month of being apart. These both happened in the same day

Econ (Bit and Crypt)— pre-joining the family, scamming a bunch of people on Reddit. Post-joining the family, trainings Days in the ways of snarkyness

Lone (Original)— literally every memory he has with his twin. If it had to be narrowed down, right after they left Ruin and before they met Roderick, when they were as free as they could be, hunting hikers in the forest and drinking the blood as they watched the night sky

Glitch (Dagger and Rifle)— KillCode picking them up and carrying them away to get blood right after they were revived

Living (Rabies and Bleed)— a sleepover they had at KillCode’s bunker with the Glitch Twins, they drank lots of blood and played tag all around the place, and then they settled down on the nest to share stories of their guardians, the Glitch Twins comforted them over their situation

Amnesiac (Ruby and Vermillion)— KC taking them fishing, they didn’t catch anything but they liked the place

Magic (Sturgeon and Harvest)— a Halloween “prank” she played, they pretended to be a lost child and led their victims to a cemetery where she proceeded to kill them in very gruesome ways

Fantasy (Eventide and Quietus)— pre-revival, KillCode placing a spell on them that allowed them to be in the sunlight for a few hours, they ran around and had lots of fun. Post-revival, accidentally becoming a cryptid to the local feral cat population

Ocean (Bloody, Scythe, Rabies, and Harvest)— either when they found out Lunar was alive, or when it truly set in for them that Foxy wasn’t going to abandon them (probably as the older was reading a book to them and FC to lull them to sleep after some rough first days of sailing)

YT (Cardenal and Alizarin)— sightseeing in Spain for Cardenal, watching a very pretty sunset while on a boat for Alizarin

God of Doom (Antho and Myco//Necropolis)— that time they tag teamed Stitchwraith in the short amount of time they got to be separated and alive at once

Lament (Harvey)— actually becoming friends with the rest of the choir and getting to know them

Ballad (J)— their friends throwing them a little birthday party :D

Monster twins (Blood and Snow)— seeing the surface for the first time, and getting to experience chicken nuggets for the first time

Horror (Heaven and Hatchet)— the Halloween they spent with their brother and sister

Plague (Rabies and Prions)— crushing their shock collar with a hammer as Nex recorded them

Guard (Saber)— wandering the streets when it was still one with its twin, specifically during a full moon

Keeper (Sickle)— them getting Buzzsaw to finally look visibly concerned for them (by almost dying)

Overlord (Phoenix and Gaia)— finishing building Their Father’s Temple and spending the night there

Rotting (Decay and Waste)— that time they kidnapped Sun and Lunar and had them play tea party with them, Ruin, and a bunch of corpses

[msommers]

☼▼☯☆ for auretta maeve and another bestie xx

rolled Iggy for the third bestie so i'm ready to cry probs. tyyyy xoxo // headcanon meme

☼ appearance headcanon 

AURETTA — one of the clothing mods has the cutest outfits with slight variations and one is just that v1 has the shoulders covered and v2 doesn't, so as a little joke on her being an uptight priss i gave her the shoulders-covered one for act 1 and then swapped to shoulders revealed for act 2 as if it's a grand display of her growing trust in the companions and lessening of her aloofness. 

MAEVE — she had a grand time throwing a lot of Carden’s money into getting herself a new wardrobe once she was free of him.  swapping from stays to corsets, opting for more form-fitting styles, letting more of her skin show and adding more pretty designs. she’d spent the last few years wearing more loose-fitting and slightly dull dresses that kept her covered, wanting to draw less attention from Carden and whatever dreadful people he spent time around. she was over the moon getting to reclaim that expression of sexuality and freedom and just feeling pretty.

IGNOTA — she's got a lot of hair and it's lowkey messy but!! it does have a lot of cute small braids throughout because she taught herself how to braid her hair during those endless hours spent by her lonesome. i think most of the time she can make a small comfort ritual out of it that brings her some peace and settles any rising emotions, but there are a few occasions where it just made things worse because it had her spiraling about her isolation. 

▼ childhood headcanon 

AURETTA — cast her first cantrip when she was maybe 6-7 years old. a small gust that shoved away another kid who had been interrupting her quiet reading time while waiting for mama Jocelyn to finish gathering groceries in the market. Auretta stay not fucking around about her personal space since she was a little girl lmao

MAEVE — she loved loved loved helping people harvest their crops. mostly because she was given heaps of praise for running baskets of goods back and forth and that's what she fucking lives for. thrives off of. fuels her for weeks to come. but also she was usually allowed to keep some apples or other fruit and flowers when helping others and it always had her glowing, a big smile on her face as she tucked the flowers into her hair and then snacked on the food later while reading by the river. 

IGNOTA — she has an incredibly vague memory of being carried on somebody's shoulders as they walked through the woods, bouncing with each step to make her squeal and giggle. she wants to believe that it was one of her parents because she can just barely recognize the concept of feeling safe and happy in those fleeting moments, but she can't remember well enough to be certain. maybe if she tells herself it was her father enough times then it'll unlock the full memory and confirm (or deny) it for her, who knows. 

☯ likes/dislikes headcanon 

AURETTA — tragically i know she’d be a picky eater and turn her nose up around the campfire some nights. she’s been living it up in elf city central for three decades, being raised and provided for by one of the city’s elites, i know her meals were insane in quality and taste. to go from fantasy 5-star meals to being served a mish-mash stew made of random onhand ingredients with some scavenged wine on the side?? she’s in hell. actual hell. basically in the abyss.

MAEVE — sour desserts's #1 hater. sour cherry or lemon recipes?? get them OUT of her house. in fact, ban them from the entire city for her, actually. give her full on sweet and she's in heaven, filling her plate up with a second helping, but sour, bro?? absolutely not. that's a crime, a sin, an offense.

IGNOTA — deciding in the moment that Iggy’s a big art lover. i just think she'd enjoy herself a good landscape painting, getting lost in the emotion that an artist can instill in how they portray a location. oh and those portraits where you can tell the painter is head over heels in love with their subject just from what they've put to canvas?? yeah, those fuck her up. catch her crying because it's so touching being able to experience the affection through them, knowing she's never had it herself. 

☆ happy headcanon 

AURETTA — i'm sure there were at least a handful of chats about Auretta's snippy attitude and tendency to keep everybody at a distance for a good deal of act 1, but the tiefling party comes around and everyone's handed some free confirmation that she's still got a beating heart in there because she's freely smiling, occasionally laughing, and even initiating some physical contact with a few folk (mostly her siblings, the wine having loosened her up enough to rattle free the affection, but still). it was the happiest she'd been since the abduction, and maybe even some time before that if i decide to toss in some misery for her before being yanked into the campaign plot. 

MAEVE — this is my official proposal for cute fun family bonding time with Maeve & Amadei dancing together and having a blast. no context to be found here bc i'm lazy, just the good vibes of them spinning around a Beauclair ball dance floor until Maeve's feet start to hurt.

IGNOTA — no results for your “happiness in ignota’s story” search, try again <3 (idk man. it's not technically happened yet in game but i'm sure she's gonna be happy as can be once she's actually left Tevinter. gonna spend a good hour straight crying over her freedom.)

[lia-land]

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

3.5/5

Spoilers for the first book in the Folk of the Air trilogy.

The Cruel Prince cares about the destination and not at all about the journey. It’s hard to rate it overall because some parts were 2 stars and others were nearly 5. Let’s settle on 3.5.

I feel like I'm not allowed to dislike this book. |'ve briefly touched upon how I didn't love it on Reddit and there are definitely lots of loyal fans who will die on the hill that this is the best book to ever exist. As with all of my reviews, my opinions are exactly that. Mine. I really did want to love this and I'm very happy i read it once in my life, but it fell short.

I had heard such great things about this book, but I just found it too childish. It was too ‘girl falls for her high school bully.’ I was expecting more after hearing about this series for years. I did keep reading, though, because I met Holly Black at a signing with Cassandra Clare a few years ago and she was very nice.

It got better around 200 pages in. Since it's only 370 pages, it shouldn’t take like 60% of the book for things to pick up, in my opinion. The only character I found interesting was Madoc for most of the book. It’s not that he’s necessarily interesting, just the best of the worst. I really didn’t like the whole Shadow squad or whatever they were called. Every time they’d interact with anyone or each other was just written awkwardly.

Many plot points were incredibly underdeveloped. Why did the Prince randomly appoint her as a spy and send her on a mission without any training? This was so casually skipped over. He fully just sent her into Balekin’s house and she casually walked in and out. And how does Jude get away with it for so long without being caught? This wasn’t a case of something ‘bad’ being normalised in Faerie and is casually written because it's normal in that universe; this was the crown prince appointing a human with no experience to be his spy. This book as a whole seemed rushed. Lots of significant things happen and big decisions are made, and then skipped over as if they were descriptions of the weather. This was especially apparent during and after the coronation. It was like the writing was trying to catch up with the plot. It read like those old Wattpad fics where the mom would sell the main character to One Direction, and then the way it was written was as if it was a very common occurrence to sell your child to a boy band. It’s apparently quite normal for your adoptive father to stage a coup. And for your twin sister to knowingly let you date her fiancé. And for the crown prince to come and ask you to be a spy as a teen with no training. ‘I guess I live with One Direction now. Anyway, what should I wear for my first dinner with them?’ Like… go back and expand on what just happened. Develop the plot. Develop the feelings about the situation.

The random piece of paper with Jude's name on it was weird and didn't really get acknowledged as much as it should have (in the rest of the series, too). Like why was Cardan just writing her name over and over? Ick.

I couldn’t decide if Jude was really stupid or really smart. She’s been through a lot and can clearly stand up for herself, and she’s not a generally dumb character, but then she spent five minutes alone with Carden in Dain’s office and suddenly we get this line: “Maybe I wasn’t fighting Carden at all. Maybe I’ve been fighting my own shadow.” Girl, please get a grip. This guy bullies her and then gaslights her, and then they start making out!!! Carden literally cannot lie and said that he is disgusted with himself for thinking of her, and her response is to kiss him.

The worst thing about all of this for me is how Carden doesn’t even make a good attempt at justifying his previous actions. He’s all like ‘I hate you because I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s disgusting’ and she’s like ‘okay, no worries, I’ll make that make sense.’ Then while he’s touching her up, she knows that he’s going slow because “he doesn’t want to want this” but everything we’ve been told about her character so far is that she’s not the type of character to put up with this. It didn’t make sense to me. Her attraction to him isn’t really explained. The story doesn’t flow and it reads like an early draft or a very late one where she had to meet a low word count but didn’t end to cut any plot. The only reason I can think of to justify this sudden nonsensical thing between Carden and Jude is that perhaps they are mated and we’ll find this out in later books, if such a bond even exists in this universe. I have low hopes for this, though, and I think it’s just a result of bad plot development. I get that she was also trying to punish him for wanting her, but it wasn't written well.

Jude is the most inconsistently written character that I have ever read about. Jude falling for Locke was so sudden and incredibly underdeveloped. How was she entrusted to be a spy when she couldn’t even see Locke’s red flags? He literally spelled it out for her multiple times. I got the ick when he said he wanted to “compose an ode” for her. It was also very random when Jude challenged Taryn to a duel. I understand the reason for it, but that seemed out of character for her until that point. There’s a difference between an unpredictable character and an inconsistent one. She doesn’t feel like her own character to me, rather, a plot device to make sure the story plays out the way the author wants it to and I think that’s lazy. Having a fast paced plot is not always a good thing. I would have rather read a developed story of this same length that ended at the coronation and then picked up in a second book.

I'm disappointed that nothing more was done with the tournament. A few books from around the same time that this was published have done this thing where they introduced some sort of contest and then they don't actually do anything with it. I assume it will come up in the later books, otherwise, it was not entirely necessary.

Something that was made obvious is that Holly Black does not like writing travel scenes. I have a very unclear idea of how far places are from each other because Jude would just say she was going somewhere and then she'd just be there. This doesn't affect the story, but it does impact the world building.

To be entirely fair, most of the books I’ve read in the past five months have been between 600-800 pages so maybe I’ve gotten used to stories being a little more dragged out. I don’t think that’s the only reason I felt that this book was rushed, but maybe I’m being more harsh. I think this whole series adds up to about 1000 pages and I’m unintentionally holding previously read longer books as a standard. Either way, this book would have benefitted from at least 70 more pages of smoothing out the development of the plot and characters. It felt clunky, for lack of a better word.

The writing itself is not bad, but it isn’t a style I personally enjoy reading. I had a similar issue with the Raven Boys series and also Neil Gaiman. They are not bad writing styles, but they’re not for me.

The high school bully thing is just a very juvenile trope in my opinion. Obviously this is a YA book, but it deals with mature themes, so the target audience is very specific. When I was at the age when I would enjoy these high school settings, I wouldn’t have completely understood the political themes. This point isn’t a criticism of the book, necessarily, just part of why I personally wasn’t as invested. As for all the political stuff, it was a stronger aspect of the book, but still underdeveloped. There was so much potential for this book to be amazing if it had just been a little less rushed. There was too much happening for a story of this length. The plot of this book alone could have been a duology.

[kimkimberhelen]

Gene Cousineau: “Little Sally Reed from Joplin, Missouri. What do you want?”

Sally Reed: “To be an actress … it’s all I ever wanted in the whole world.”

This quick exchange introduces Barry’s audience to Sally (Sarah Goldberg) in the series premiere. Her passionate, teary plea rings normally at first glance; she’s a small-town girl with wide-eyed Hollywood dreams. Aw, shucks. Over four seasons, HBO’s grim comedy ingeniously peels back layers to unveil Sally’s discombobulating, deeply human personality. Her unlikable traits—selfish, gravely insecure, a knack for walking over people (including seemingly naive aspiring actor Barry Block)—remain intact as the show nears its end.

By now, though, we know these qualities stem from a marred past: a rotten home life, previous spousal abuse, and a gnawing lack of confidence she desperately wants to cover up. Barry rarely excuses her entitled behavior but slowly sheds light on how her illusory front is a coping mechanism. No wonder she makes the short-lived Joplin as an outlet to process her tragedies. What’s worse? She barely gets time to exist in the world she creates after working hard to achieve it. As it turns out, Sally is the ultimate portrait of trauma in Bill Hader and Alec Berg’s stellar series, which wraps on May 28.

Sally Reed was probably never going to have a happy ending. It’s not because she prioritizes her lofty career ambitions, pushing away anything that gets in the way. Goldberg plays Sally’s goals with such enthusiasm it usually borders on mania, even when she’s sympathetic. It’s a shame she hasn’t won an Emmy for her wrenching yet funny performance. Remember her season two monologue when Barry (Hader) auditions for Jay Roach? Or her season three “entitled fucking cunt” breakdown in the elevator that Natalie (D’Arcy Carden) shares with the world, leading to her downfall? But the professional blinders Sally’s had on for most of Barry’s run is what limits her in the end.

As if her traumatic history wasn’t enough, her entanglement with Barry Berkman worsens everything. He breezes into her life one fine day, drawn into her safe space, when he catches her rehearsing outside Gene’s (Henry Winkler) studio while on a mission. Barry finds solace in it, attracted to the idea of shedding his skin to inhabit somebody who doesn’t have PTSD or a laundry list of crimes. It’s enough to get him hoping for a fresh start. That’s also what Sally hoped for when she moved to Los Angeles after finally leaving her abusive husband, Sam (Joe Massingill).

Season four delves into why Sally deserved to leave her Joplin jail. Sam isn’t the only reason. Her mother is dismissive, flat-out refusing to believe her ex abused Sally, nor does she care that her daughter’s boyfriend is arrested for murder in L.A. “Big whoop” isn’t exactly the expected maternal reaction, and her nice-guy father doesn’t have anything valuable to add, either. It’s clear from the final season’s early episodes that Sally doesn’t have anyone—anyone except for an imprisoned Barry. Her admittance to him in this season’s “bestest place on earth,” that she feels safest with him, is a devastating reality chec

Hader and Goldberg, sitting feet away, separated by a glass barrier, deliver a potent performance in a scene that sells their toxic attachment. She can write all the one-act plays and TV shows she wants, but Barry’s grievously absorbed her identity just when you (and everyone around her) thought she was free of it. Their confrontation in jail is a turning point for the show’s final installments. Her shaky confession sets Barry’s brain aflame. He teams up with the FBI, makes an enemy out of NoHo Hank (Anthony Carrigan), and escapes prison during a shootout. Ultimately, it launches a new life for the duo in the middle of a barren landscape where they don new identities and shed their skins. Just like the dream, huh?

Barry’s final season jumps eight years ahead with a full picture in episode five, “tricky legacies.” It glimpses into the dreary monotony of Barry and Sally, who go by Clark and Emily now. They shield their child from the real world. It doesn’t mean Sally’s not seething under Emily’s mask. Her pain follows her because she chose to give up the one thing that mattered: her acting dream. Having experienced a shitty upbringing, she passes along the intergenerational trauma to John by parenting similarly to her mom—indifferent, indignant, and inebriated. She doesn’t know where to start nurturing.

It’s not like Barry’s childhood was a prize, so neither of them is good at this, but Sally is on a whole other level. She drops alcohol in his juice to put him to sleep, serves up burnt lunches, and generally wrestles with how to love this human being she gave birth to. In Sally’s expressions, Goldberg displays a tangible aversion to motherhood, a full-bodied disdain for the life they’re responsible for creating. So yes, in a twisted way, she’s a copy of her parent now. It’s a full circle.

Everyone on Barry is haunted by their actions, especially with the time jump, so Sally isn’t an exception, of course. Barry wreaked absolute havoc. Gene lost Janice Moss (Paula Newsome), ruined his legacy, and now reappears to chase fame again. As seen in episode six, “the wizard,” Hank has grown a successful business, but had to kill the love of his life to do it. Fuches’ (Stephen Root) friendship with Barry turns sour as he morphs into the Raven. Yet, Sally’s regression is agonizing because she was a lick away from gaining everything she wanted. Instead, she ponders torturing her network boss, kills a man in self-defense, and runs back home, only for everything to crumble again. All this while witnessing Oscar winner Sian Heder work with her mentee, Kristen (Ellyn Jameson), and watching Natalie soar.

Now, she’s drunk and being tortured (note Hader’s prolific direction in “the wizard”) as a man in a ski mask figure shakes up their trailer home. She’s permanently haunted. Janice’s father has captured her partner, and all she can do is call him repeatedly, begging him to come back. With two episodes of Barry remaining, Sally is left alone in her cage to care for John. Does she head back to her hometown to complete the cycle? Or will she return to the city of dreams to find Barry and maybe accomplish the only thing she wants to be in this world? Either way, Sally might not realize it, but she’s already played the role of a lifetime now. It’s wish fulfillment in the worst and most tragic possible way.

[ethercvl]

closed starter for @stxrfclls ( cardy )

edric   hadn't   seen   the   older   male   that   would   be   considered   his   sibling   since   the   day   that   he   shown   up   in   the   winter   court   at   their   father's   doorstep.   their   father   did   what   he   did   best   and   drove   the   other   right   back   out   of   winter.   though   the   hunter   had   never   been   curious   of   the   dawn   boy.   zorya   had   followed   him   to   the   court   he   had   resided   in   and   edric   judged   them   for   doing   that.   running   into   the   emissary   was   bound   to   happen   eventually   being   stuck   in   the   dusk   court   together.   "carden   right?"

[redskybeach]

US General Officer's Handgun

I will drag an e-mail discussion here to the blog. The question was outside of General George Patton who had his own ideas about side arms, what did US general officers carry (if anything) during World Wars I, II and the Korean War. There is an answer because the US Army issued them to general officers in particular.

The Colt Pocket Hammerless, either the Model of 1903, in .32 ACP, or the Model of 1908, in .380 ACP.

Let's face it, the general can carry what general wants to carry, but the fact that there was an issue firearm for generals meant that many of them who carried likely carried that.

Moving on to Patton. General Patton's daily carry handguns were fitted with ivory grips. “Pearl handles are for New Orleans pimps.” the General famously quipped to a reporter.

Although popularly remembered as the "two-gun" General, Patton actually seldom wore both of his "carrying guns" together. The handguns most associated with him, and which are now in the Patton Collection of the West Point Museum, are a .45 Long Colt Single Action revolver, 1873 Army Model, and a .357 Magnum Smith & Wesson revolver.

Of the two of them, aides and relatives have said that the .45 Colt was the one Patton stressed for everyday carry, while the .357 was to be the "killing gun," in his words if the battlefield situation ever demanded it. The .45 was his oldest companion, having been purchased in 1916. There are two notches filed in the left-side ivory grip of the highly engraved .45. They came to be through a 1916 gunfight that took place in Mexico where he killed two Mexican irregular officers.

As a young officer, George Patton was part of General Pershing’s punitive expedition into Mexico to hunt down Francisco (Pancho) Villa, Governor of Chihuahua. On 14 May he came under fire while leading a caravan of three vehicles to obtain food for his troops.

Patton was armed with his own Colt SAA .45 revolver. During the fight, he emptied the weapon as many as three times. In a letter to his father after the fight, Patton wrote, “I fired five times with my new pistol and one of them ducked back into the house. I found out later that this was Cardenes and that I had hit both him and his horse.” Captain Julio Cardenes was second in command under Villa when he was shot by Lieutenant George S. Patton.

Thereafter, Patton carried a second, or backup, handgun. General Joyce confirmed that the experience with the Mexican gangsters convinced Patton he should carry at least two handguns. Patton learned through experience as did we all that two is one and one is none.

[beginning-writer]

Lancelot's tears part 2

Warning: not so small text.

So, those days i got myself thinking "Lancelot crys a lot in the legends. Probably because he was raised only whit women and he didn't grow up whit the pressure of 'real men don't cry' bullshit. It's funny cause in the show he was raised to be a weapon and only by men paladins. It's kind of contradictory... wait hold on-"

Well my mind just give me de awsome information that PERHAPS Lancelot and his cousins, Lionel and Bors, might just had swapped their fates whit each other in the show. Why, do you ask? Let me give you some of those beautiful reasons that almost made me want to drown myself in coffee and medicine.

In the original legends, we know that Lancelot's mother, Elaine, ran away when the castle they lived in set on fire and give young Lancelot to Viviane, the Lady of the Lake or Lady du Lac, which in the show we know as Nimue. And in some other versions he is kidnaped, or more like taken away from his mother's arms, by her. And we all assume his biological mother is dead. While Bors and Lionel are taken by Claudas and his son, and held in captivy for a time (it's not telled how many time exacly), until they kill Claudas' oldest son and ran away whit the help of Claudas' youngest son.

By the time Lionel and Bors had been whit Claudas they were treated like prisioners and had only permision to go to church or be in the surroundings of the castle whit vigilance, and they would be punished for any bad action if i remember correctly. If that's a wrong information then pardon and please correct me.

I strongly belive that Bors is too religious cause of the trumas he passed during this period of the sequence of trumas in his life. The parents death, the kidnap, and the fact that he couldn't leave or go to any place other than the church. And all of this happend when he was young, but not so young as Lancelot.

They don't cry as much as Lancelot does. Probably cause Lancelot was raised whit only women and had much more freedom to cry and expose his feelings, meanwhile, for what i belive, Lionel and Bors had been whit Claudas and i'm pretty sure he has the "swallow the cry, or i'll give you a real reason to cry. Suck it up." kind of guy dealing whit them two.

In the show we see that insted of being raised whit women, Lancelot was raised whit paladins men, worse than that, church man-blood men. NO OFFENSES. And that he probably was kidnaped and treated like an animal or a demon/prisioner. Really similar whit Lionel and Bors don't you think? It gets worse. Cause we see Lancelot suffering and asking the father if he loves him, but we don't see him cry when he totally should in front Carden. Really weird the similarity happend twice, huh?

Lancelot was raised by men, kidnaped, treated very poorly from the very beginning, and doesn't cry in front of his abusers. Exacly what happend to Lionel and Bors in their story.

I think i made my point very clear, and i think you get what i mean.

Ok what the fuck does this have to do whit Lancelot's tears?

Not satisfacted whit giving me a headache from all this comparisons, my mind decided to give me more. Lancelot and his cousins swapped their storys/fates, that means Lionel and Bors scaped and now are living whit an adoptive mother looking for Lancelot. And perhaps Hector also sufferd the same fate, cause both brothers, Lionel and Bors, were kidnaped and kept imprisoned in the legends, then maybe it would make sense if Lancelot and Hector were whit the paladins.

But what about Lancelot being a total cry baby? He can't cry anymore. He'll have to learn how to express his feeling all over again.

My ADHD mind jut gave me the most perfect headcanon were, at first, Carden would not make them supress his feelings cause he knows that if he did, they would break and turn their backs to him sooner or later. But he had to do it. Why? Cause Lancelot is and the others are ashkids, and the ashfolk has a devine cry.

Devine cry. (Let me explain myself, alright? I promisse this can be good.)

As i was creating a reason for the Ashfolk marks in Lancelot's backstory story, i wrote about how Aed, the red, Celtic God of fire, created the ashfolk out the first ashes that fell after the very first fey fire being summoned on earth. Or the second version and particularly my favorite: the ash folk and fey fire were created of Aed's tears when humans murdered one of his creations, his tears burn the earth where it were killed, and so the ashes fell from them. Aed not bearing the suffering, takes the ashes and creates a new form of life, made to sense the danger whit their noses and capable of desgising among the nature. Marking their faces whit tears and as black as the ashes they were made from. Giving them the ability of making fey fire and a cry closer to his own suffering than the humans.

Whit that, the ashfolk were made, and whit them the protectiveness of Aed and the fey fire. The ashfolk had one regular diferential in their cry, they didn't cry very often, cause no one wanted to mess whit Aed new creation after seing him cry and get mad, but one day a person was stupid enough to mess whit of them. And they cried.

"When the humans heard the cry of the young ashkid, they could not describe it other than a beautiful sound that at the same time made their souls break into ten billion pieces. They claimed to hear a cry closer to an angel than to any human."

I thought about making their tears black, but then i trowed it out cause a human, a man-blood, would never call black tears beautiful. So insted, i'm thinking about their tears as something very clear, a transparent but angel-like tear that fall from their eyes like waterfalls. And I'm absolutely pleased whit that.

This would explain why Carden had to supress the ashkids feelings. Cause everytime Lancelot or any other ashkid cried, Father Carden heard about how the paladins cried along whit them until they pass out, and the ones who didn't went to cry in his feet begging him to free the childs.

Because the ashkids cry were so devine, so angel-like, in the sounds and color, even in the way it fell from their eyes, that any human would simply not bear to hear it. And whit that, Carden toke the decision of supressing their feeling, even if he kew it was a bad decision.

Time to imagine the lil scene (lancewain as always.)

[strawberry blonde]

As Guinevere and the raiders has arrived, they brought news whit them, as always, but this day something went diferent. Guinevere come to the healers tent, were Lancelot and Pym worked. She went whit the especific notice for Lancelot, and asked for Gawain's and Nimue's presence because it would be something they would need to hear later. What she didn't expect was that Lancelot would completely burst into tears when he heard the news.

The Red Spear had come whit the news that two ashmans were found by the east-southeast, one whit red hair and the other whit redish-blond hair, both whit green eyes, and the red head had a lion swened in his chest.

When the information left her lips, she heared the most soft and breaking heart sound she had ever heard in her life.

Everyone in the room turned their faces to Lancelot, founding him now leaned against the stone table they examined the pacients, the clearests tears they ever seen rooling down his cheeks as a waterfall, his tear marks seems to get clearer as the tears flowed. His sounds were so quiet, yet so breath taking, so lovely and painful that for a moment, the ones present felt their knees weaken. He looked like an angel crying.

Guinevere had to left before she herself cried, but she didn't know she wanted to cry.

What anyone knew, is that the ashmans in the east-southeast were Lancelot's cousins. Which he didn't saw since he was kidnaped as a kid. And even with all the training and preparation to suppress his feelings, he couldn't hold back his tears hearing the news that they were alive, and on this land. Tears were rolling down his eyes before he could realize it.

Gawain couldn't belive what he was seeing. Lancelot was crying, and he sounded absolutely devide. He looked so broken, yet so beautiful.

His body doesn't seem to move for a moment, but then he readily moves to comfort the crying man, hugging his body slowly and carefully. His heart broke a little more when he felt Lancelot flinch from the hug, because of he wasn't used to that or any form of affection.

Within seconds he feels his friend's facade break and bury his face in the crook of his neck. The almost non-existent sobs seem louder now that they are so close, Lancelot's tears wet the fabric of his shirt, and without even knowing why, Gawain's own tears begin to silently descend.

Apologies

This actually went way bigger than i thought, so if you read it till there, either you are really hiperfixed on the weeping monk, or you just had a fucking time. Either ways, thank you for reading.

Hunted kisses for you ❤️

@lancedoncrimsonwings

[everlastingdreams]

Forged Of Fire Masterlist

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31

Chapter 32 Chapter 33

~~~~!!!More Chapters will be added as the story progresses!!!~~~~

Story Summary: Raised under the tiranny of your own family, and forced to steal to earn your keep, you struggle to survive. Born from a Fey mother, and a Manblood father who wanted only sons, you are forced to hide your Fey side. When you are ordered to steal from Father Carden by your half-brother, Cassian, your life spirals out of control and you find yourself at the mercy of the Weeping Monk. The life you knew changes drastically when Cassian betrays you in the cruelest of ways. A trade is made, a promise is broken, and a debt must be paid.

Warnings: Angst. Hurt. Trauma bonding. Intrafamily violence. Depression. Self-harm. Suicidal thoughts. Violence. Torture. Gore. Pining. Trauma. Self-Flagellation. Manipulation. Strong Language. Blood. Misogyny. PTSD. Spicy and smut parts. Slight redemption arc. Lima/Stockholm syndrom-ish. Childhood trauma.

Other warnings: Jealousy. Forced Marriage. Forbidden Love. Romance. Slow-burn Found Familly-ish. Comfort. Fluff. !SMUT and SPICE!

Word count of this fic: +250K

Chapters: 47

[do-i-need-a-name]

get him back by Olivia Rodrigo IS Carden and Jude’s song

I heard it and SCREAMED

Please tell me someone else has made this connection

But he’s so much fun he said weird friend

And he would take us to parties and the night would never end

Another song another club another bar another dance

Do I love him do I hate him I guess it’s up and down

If I had to say I would right now

I wanna get him back

I wanna make him feel jeleous wanna make him feel bad

Oh I wanna get him back

Cause then again I really miss him and it makes me real sad

Oh I want sweet revenge and I want him again mi want to get back back back

So I WRITE HIM ALL THESE LETTERS!!! And I throw them in the trash cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he makes me laugh

BUT I AM MY FATHERS DAIGHTER SO MAYBE I COULD FIX HIM

wanna kiss his face

with an upper cut

I want meet his mom

To tell her her son sucks

[stxrfclls]

‘ josh heuston, cis man, he + him, 32 / 320 , half high fae / half peregryn ’ ― cauldron save you. it seems CARDEN NIGHTSHADE has been teleported to the dusk court, the EMISSARY from THE DAWN COURT is said to be RELAXED and is said to describe themselves with A BRISK WINTER STORM, THE SILENCE OF A MORNING WALK + THE SENSE THAT ONE NEVER SLEEPS and with all of this in mind their PRESUMPTUOUS nature always seems to get them into trouble. may the mother hold them as they navigate this unthinkable time. ; written by honey.

𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬

full  name  .  carden  nightshade

nickname . cardy

age  .  32  appearance  /  320  actual

sexuality  .  bisexual

occupation  .  emissary

species  .  high fae

loyalty  .  the dawn court

height  .  6'1"

𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬

the  product  of  an  affair,   carden  may  have  the  powers  of  winter  but  he  has  no  connection  to  the  court.  frost  in  his  veigns,  and  the  surname  his  mother  gave  him  to  spite  his  forgotten  father,  he  was  raised  in  dawn  alongside  his  mother  and  her  family,  all  peregryns  and  warriors  in  the  dawn  court's  army.   carden  fell  right  into  step,  a  warrior  in  his  own  right  and  a  gifted  fighter.  but  the  pull  of  the  army  never  quite  had  a  hold  on  the  young  fae,  torn  between  the  world  of  the  peregryns  and  the  world  of  the  high  fae.  

when  he  reached  adulthood,  the  first  thing  that   carden  did  was  travel.  he  set  out  to  the  winter  court  to  learn  of  his  father,  the  discovery  not  quite  something  he  wished  to  have.  a  lesser  lord  who  had  stepped  out  on  his  wife,  a  man  who  had  no  desire  to  know   carden  at  all.  annoyed,  angry,  and  impulsive,  he  wrote  off  the  entire  court  and  left  it  at  that.  the  young  half  fae  traveled  on  to  another  court,  and  then  another  court,  and  then  another.  getting  out  all  of  his  less  than  stellar  traits,  past  times  he  thinks  of  with  a  mix  of  regret  and  amusement,  when  the  man  returned  to  the  dawn  court  it  was  not  as  the  fae  that  left.

but  that  didn't  mean  he  knew  what  he  wanted  to  do,  knew  who  he  wished  to  be.  it  wasn't  until   carden  began  to  spend  time  with  his  old  friend,  then  the  general  of  the  dawn  court  armies,  that  he  began  to  develope  a  genuine�� friendship  with  the  high  lord.  not  two  that  might  be  identified  as  best  friends,  and  yet  here  they  are  all  the  same.  recently,   carden  was  asked  to  step  up  and  be  the  court  emissary,  and  his  travels  certainly  come  in  hand  in  this  regard.

cardy  definitely  used  to  be  a  very  impulsive  and  reckless  dude.  very  much  a  sleep  around  and  have  no  cares  kind  of  guy.  he  got  out  most  of  that,  and  is  far  more  reserved  now.  he's  a  really  chill  guy,  relaxed  and  not  quick  to  emotions  unless  someone  pushes  his  buttons  just  right.  he's  a  charmer,  can  be  quite  playful,  and  is  damn  good  at  his  job  with  most  courts.  still  might  struggle  with  winter.

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

on  main  :  tbd

other  ideas  :  tbd

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬

✶ * ⁎ ⋆ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞 × emissary of dawn ❜, ✶ * ⁎ ⋆ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 × threads ❜

✶ * ⁎ ⋆ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞 × emissary of dawn ❜, ✶ * ⁎ ⋆ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 × inspo ❜

✶ * ⁎ ⋆ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞 × emissary of dawn ❜, ✶ * ⁎ ⋆ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 × dev ❜

✶ * ⁎ ⋆ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞 × emissary of dawn ❜, ✶ * ⁎ ⋆ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 × image ❜

[mikecardenmpreg]

thinking about that time i was wearing my stupid fucking mike carden's solo folk album shirt at the wrigley field show and mike's dad walked past me and i immediately had to turn around in shame, just in case he looked in my direction. but yeah, how sweet of him to go to his son's show, what a good supportive father

[offbookkeeping]

yesterday i woke up to a text from my father saying "hey i'm with dan harmon, do you have any questions for him?" WHAT THE FUCK?? dan harmon, the guy who made community and rick and morty and harmonquest (WHICH JESS WAS A GUEST ON BY THE WAY!!AND CARL TART AND D'ARCY CARDEN)

so my father has met that man multiple times in casual social situations (once i was almost with him but i decided not to go at the last minute) and now dan harmon knows that my favorite episode of harmonquest is the one with jess mckenna. my father is acquaintances with dan harmon and i am one more person closer to a friend of jess mckenna. i am so normal and healthy about this. i really fucking hope my acting career goes further than being an extra and being in niche commercials because oh my god what if i meet jess eventually

i am so normal and healthy and not freaking out at all oh my god