#fatal flaw really do be flawing
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Halloween interactive event (p.5)
The evening soon turns to night. The sound of the clock ticking can be heard, although there doesn't seem to be any clocks in the room. Odd.
When Wilbur writes "everything", a plate of his favourite food layed out in the shape of the word everything appears.
Wilbur and Phil find that the crowd is mostly inhuman, outwardly so. There are plenty creatures with wings and claws and horns and extra limbs. Even those who do look human-like give off a very inhuman feeling. Not all of them seem to know of the proper etiquette either, the crowd is a bit wild.
The Blade successfully escapes into the garden, blissfully unaware of the others gathering near the main platform for a speech from the Count himself.
~
A tall human-like man in a blood-red suit and a masquerade mask of the same colour steps out onto the "stage". He clinks his wine glass with a small, decorative fork and the ballroom goes silent, all attention now on him.
The Count Showfall clears his throat and begins to speak.
"Dear guests, if you allow me a minute of your time, I would like to say two things. The first one is, as the clock hands are approaching midnight, the portals back to your respective homes will be available soon. The second is, thank you all sincerely for your time and your trust. Thank you for coming here. In the previous times this ball was held, we have never had so many wise, powerful people in one place at the same time. I hope that you have enjoyed this masquerade dearly. And I am certain that you will remember it for the rest of your time. That is all."
The Count stays on the platform, looking over each and every guest, but the others seem to barely pay him any mind.
You will find the continuation of this story amidst chaos and destruction.
(Discord)
Philza: “Thank you for your trust” what the m̶̗̟̀͘ư̴̫̌f̷̳͎͘f̷̧̹͛͘i̸̥̜͋n̸̡͗̐ is that supposed to mean…
Wilbur: Specifically powerful people? *Wilbur glances around the room uneasily. His foot begins to bounce, itching to run.* His sycophancy is a massive red flag. Too ominous for my liking, and I’ve already eaten ‘everything’ I wanted. Let’s bounce.
Philza: Mmm. Want to wager those portals actually do lead home?
Wilbur: *He snorts.* I don’t reckon I’d win.
Philza: ̷͙̐̑M̴͍̹͎̈ǘ̵̝͚̙̊f̴̬̝̈́̍̔̓f̶̝̽i̸͔̠̠͂̏͜ň̵̹̣̰̭̅̊. Where did The Bl- Wilbur go.
Tubbo: (as a swarm of bees) Huh? He’s chilling in the garden.
Philza: Fetch him. We should escape before the problems start. *He crosses the ballroom floor, smiling and nodding cordially, but walking with an intent that brushes past any that tries to stymie his mission. Philza reaches where Tommy and Tubbo are. Tommy has pulled away from where he was chatting with a group, arms wrapped tight around himself.*
Tommy: *Tommy jumps as Philza puts a hand on his shoulder, jerking away.* DON’T– m̶̗̟̀͘ư̴̫̌f̷̳͎͘f̷̧̹͛͘i̸̥̜͋n̸̡͗̐ing hell Phil, don’t do that. Didn’t you hear the announcement? Everyone here is super powerful, if I touch someone- *He shakes his head. His hands wring, crimson bleeding through his spiderman costume.* Should’ve told me. Someone could’ve been really hurt.
Philza: (That…might be the point) *He drapes a wing around Tommy’s shoulders, and the boy leans into the comfort.* How has the party gone for you? Before the announcement?
Tommy: *A little too cheerfully at first, but it becomes more genuine.* Going great! The food’s amazing, and I get to talk to so many people! You lot are fine, but man being in a crowd…missed it, y’know? Just another bloke in the crowd, unremarkable, safe. I feel almost normal again. I’m glad we came.
Philza: *The line of tension between his shoulder blades eases.* Alright. We can stay a little longer if you want.
Wilbur: Dad! *it hisses, pulling him over.*
Philza: We haven’t been in danger yet. Hasty action could escalate the situation.
Wilbur: You’re just saying that because you don’t want to break the news its sus as hell!
Philza: And is it wrong to want to shelter his happiness?
Wilbur: If it means you refuse to shelter his life, yes.
Philza: I’ll protect all of you when the time comes. But it hasn’t yet. It might never. I’m willing to be patient, for his sake.
#fatal flaw really do be flawing#fault au#sbi#dsmp#technoblade#tommyinnit#tubbo#philza#mcyt#scp techno#scp tommy#scp tubbo#scp wilbur#scp philza#wlwdwtys ask#sbi au#sbi scp au#something to nom on
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“Why did you leave me?”
can you hear me crying?
the way annabeth thought percy had abandoned her like everyone else
… girl he fell into tartarus for you, he would never leave you
NEVER
rick was evil for that
#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo universe#riordanverse#annabeth chase#percabeth#percabeth is percabething#percy x annabeth#annabeth and percy#pjo hoo#hoo#heroes of olympus#house of hades#hoh#house of hades book#when i tell you i actually cried for like an hour after i read this passage#RICK THIS WAS SO EVIL OF YOU#annabeths fear of abandonment really kicked in here#ma’am he would never do that#his fatal flaw is loyalty#he is LOYAL TO YOU#you’re the love of his life annabeth#ffs#be so fr#screaming crying throwing myself against a wall
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you can already see seeds Annabeth's fatal flaw in the second episode. the expressions of agreement like "yep" when Percy says "I know you're better at this than me." the way she leaves him on the cliff knowing Clarisse would be after him. the way she shoves him into the lake, knowing there's a chance she could be wrong about this guy. she knows how incredibly smart she is and is confident in it, however, she's also confident to a fault. it'll be a big source of problems for both herself and those around her. i know it's not a lot but it's there, and I'm here for it
#massive MASSIVE props to Leah for doing so much in so little time#i'm probably reaching here but i've always found everyone's fatal flaws really interesting#like it's such a good nod to the greek myths#and how it can be applied in real life#so good#percy jackson#annabeth chase#leah sava jeffries#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#pjo tv spoilers#isoceratops
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The tragedy of Kokichi to me is that he really Didn't have to do all that. There's endless discourse about ch4 and if what Kokichi did was justified. And a lot of people argue that Kokichi had to sacrifice Miu and Gonta, mainly for his life, and partly for his plan. But the reality is he didn't have to do that- but not in an immediate sense. His cold attitude and lack of belief in others pushed him into a corner where his long-game Plan to End The Killing Game was his best course of action. So in the end, no, he didn't need to do all that, but it's not as easy as stopping at ch4. The cause of his actions runs much deeper than the surface level motivations of that case.
#I dont know if this is coherent#But like. He didn't have to do all that. but for his plan to work he did#but he didnt have to do his plan in the first place-#I really really believe that kokichi's fatal flaw that led to his death was his complete lack of belief in the others#Its not like I have any suggestions for him on how to work with the others to end the killing game ghdsjkfsd#but I do think that throwing out cooperation from the jump isnt the right thing to do. & working together to beat the mastermind DOES WORK#as long as youre able to stay united against their motives and schemes#shut up me#kokichi ouma#Like. There are other ways he could have gone about protecting himself from Miu (considering he knew her intentions)#but that would almost always involved bringing in the support of other people who hed already burned bridges with#so he chose to do it this way. for the continued success of his plan
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Intellectually I understand where people are coming from, but personally I do THE biggest double take every time someone boils down conservative Christian ideology (and/or secularized cultural reflections thereof) to a kind of dour puritanism that proclaims happiness is sin/suffering is a moral good/everyone should be miserable all the time. Like I get it! I do. But also, institutionally, I have never met a group of more passionate worshippers and vicious defenders of their own comfort than evangelical Christians. There is a reason the common thread between my various weird triggers more or less boils down to "toxic positivity." There is a REASON my exvangelical tag is #walking away from omelas.
#one of my biggest problems with half-cooked critiques of christianity tbqh#and fundamentally it's just the flip side of the same coin#to liberal christians going 'well republicans aren't REAL christians bc they flout the teachings of their own holy text'#religions are socially as well as ideologically constructed! 'real' christianity is christianity as it is really practiced!#valid critique WITHIN the faith perhaps but not that meaningful (and in fact kind of willfully dense imo) take on christianity as a whole.#likewise trying to pin the evils of institutional christianity on some fatal underlying theological flaw is getting the issue backwards#in much the same way that treating race as a biological reality as opposed to a social construct is getting things backwards#empires do not rob and murder and enslave because they are racist.#they do those things out of naked self interest and invent racism to justify themselves and prop up their power.#walking away from omelas#my posts
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I would - I would kill him for you.
another fan art piece for SAD SACK, created by the outstanding @meanbossart and @barbatusart because I CAN'T HELP MYSELF OKAY
I made this one before the Stone Pratt piece - Malik's chapter of SAD SACK contains easily my favorite scene to revisit. The conversation between Malik and Jules was the scene I realized the story was absolutely going to deliver on every promise it was quietly making through its framing and dialogue. I have a somewhat personal (though indirect) connection to the scene that inspired this piece, too, so I do admit I'm quite biased~
mayhaps i will make pieces for the remaining three.... ohoho...
#sad sack#sadsack#sad sack art#art#kepler art#sad sack malik#malik#malik halim umberter jr#fuckin love malik hes so goddamn compelling#i loved how this scene basically laid out the fatal flaw of what the group is doing so well here#and i love how each guy's turn affects them so differently#and the way it looks at malik's to me felt like it actually gave a shit about what the problem here really was#ugh its just so good imma think about this shit until i die
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Crystal Mccrae or DS Ink... Please.. 🥺
have only drawn her(?) ((correct me if pronouns are wrong)) like once. Uhhh Yay
#dreamswap#crystal mccrae#ds ink#dreamswap ink#not expecting a bunch of ppl to see this#but if u do plsss don’t follow me for dreamswapp 😭#i never draw it nor am i really in the fandom so bare w me#i love the character designs tho. they r fire as fuck! also don’t know the difference between fatal flaws and dreamswap#so. sigh.#overdvse asks
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i was rewatching the last few episodes of the pjo tv show and the way percy’s loyalty is being depicted kinda makes me think that rick riordan heard those few people who say that loyalty isn’t actually a serious/dangerous character flaw (when talking either about pjo or about other media) and just said BET
#pjo#percy jackson#this boy has almost died like almost every episode because of his loyalty#it may be objectively the funniest and most efficient way of displaying percy’s fatal flaw this early on#pjo tv show#everyone is talking about the fatal flaws but c’mon they really should be talked about cause the show is doing Great when dealing with them#anyway i’m loving the tv show thank you so much uncle rick
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the brilliance of jay's progression in countdown is that it gives you a promise of positive character development, and then it breaks it. and it does so intentionally, in the most diverting way, to emphasize jason's inability to escape the cycle.
or, another post breaking down the series, where i repeat myself a lot but also make a clearer argument.
there are three notable events that happen at the beginning: the subtle showcase of jay's internal conflict considering his approach toward killing (the very first encounter with duela and the monitor), jay reaching out to donna in crisis ("i guess I just wanted to be around someone else who might know how it feels…"), and finally – his helmet shattering. these scenes tell you: jason's direction as a character is changing, and it seems, for the better. he's about to abandon his trauma-based (no matter how ironic, it does remain tied to his trauma) identity, he is connecting with people, and he seems to be on a brink of understanding that his moral standing does not provide easy answers or solutions either.
and for the most part of the series, we see that narrative unfolding (even if a bit non-linear, still innocently convincing way). it is, in many ways, supported by bringing up features of his characterisation from the 80s. jason remains, of course, still unpleasant in ways typical for this era of writing, and is conflicted and disagreeable, which makes sense for his utrh/post-utrh personality. however, there are also details that bring us back to his original robin run and his cameos on ntt – we see him being responsible (e.g. #43 – suggesting to bring in other superheroes in crisis, even though he clearly is not keen on the idea of working with them), determined (#16: “isn’t that your super-power, stupid boy? too stupid to ever give up?” “maybe it is”), sensitive (half of the whole storyline, really), caring for gotham (gotham by gaslight) and people-oriented (as early as #51).
the issue that particularly signals that jason is an inherently good person and externalizes his internal conflicts regarding classic heroic vigilantism vs his cynical approach is #30, where we meet batman of earth-15 – alt jason, whom our jason attempts to punch in the face.
and on topic of batman – jason is always gravitating towards batman. in gotham by gaslight jay looks delighted to see (the foreign) bruce and suggests checking with the local bat. then, earth-51 arc arrives.
earth-51 arc (#16 - #13) is a culmination of a promise of catharsis for jason. we have already seen him as batman, as a confirmation that a different life for him is possible. and here he has a chance to come to terms with his past and overcome it. he meets a version of bruce who has done exactly what he wanted him to do in utrh: killed the joker and the rest of the rogue gallery. what is most important – he is disappointed with this version of his father. we realise that jason, deep down, has an intimate and intuitive understanding of what batman stands for; and that he shares most of his values. this is a truth that you can't ignore especially since jay is the one to inspire this hollow, cynical version of batman to go out and fight in a seemingly lost battle.
and then batman dies. right in front of him.
this is a central moment of the narrative, for many reasons, most strikingly:
the symmetry:, a premise known from the lost days, becomes literal. this "the father had lost a son, and now the son had lost the father" is a cruel parallel to a death in the family and bruce's grief. jason's death created a gap between them that jay has been desperately trying to close, with no avail – because in bruce's mind, jason remains dead. now that jason is grieving bruce, the connection closes on both sides, and there's no way for either of them to reconcile the mourning with the reality of the other being truly alive. in this sense, the arc solidifies that jason can never come home.
no good deed goes unpunished. as i have mentioned before, so far jason is established as someone good at heart, but confused; and the reader intuitively assumes that his better, honest side will win. yet, the moment jason gives in to hope, it victimises and retraumatizes him. this event, again, brings to mind his own death, when he tried his best to save sheila and ended up paying the highest price for it. so, narrative-wise, jason is always punished for his kindness.
perhaps because of the nonchalant act that jason pulls off, many readers seem to miss that everything that happens after that arc is an upshot that follows logically from it.
jason's immediate determination to leave – and later a short period of indecision that ends up with his dramatic exit, pushing his team away, makes perfect sense when you consider what intense trauma he has just gone through. admittedly, i'm not a fan of the notion that he would give up at all (i think he's always ready to give up on himself, but not on the world), but then on the other hand, if there's anything that would cause it, narrative-wise, witnessing batman dying does sound like a good incentive for that. (it also has to be pointed out that jason seems to be confident that the rest of the team can go into the final battle without him anyway; it's not like he would go back to his earth not even knowing if said earth will exist tomorrow).
it's crucial to notice that following that crisis of faith (faith in fighting for the world) is followed by him raising up for the challenge again, but now... worse and even more confused. in the final confrontation with donna, jason antagonizes the superhero community, and when we see him at the end of the series (#1) his monologue indicates that he believes the capes to be naive. (significantly, he also focuses on bruce and offends the memory of 51 earth-bruce by calling him crazy; an action that can be seen as suppression of his own guilt and invoking, once again, a cruel symmetry considering bruce's engagement in victim-blaming after jason's death). this, once again, is consistent with the "no good deed" reading – jason diminishes superhero values because he has been continuously punished for living by them. (and unlike other superheroes, he doesn't have a support system nor skills in compartmentalization that would help him deal with this trauma) every leap of hope re-traumatised him. hence, it seems to be no surprise that jason decides to abandon the mask, and in the closing scene we see him without it. the promise of the shattered helmet is pushed to an extreme – jason does not get a new alt identity. he denounces the idea of superheroism completely.
and yet, what is ultimately subversive about the ending, is that jay is not truly a civilian and he does not abandon vigilante ways. he does the same thing. we see him without a mask, but he is clearly working a case. he might have rejected the symbolic dimension of the vigilante work, but he still carries the same delusional hope for bettering the world and protecting people that the superhero community does. only now, he is even more isolated and doesn't have any identity to go by (as he is still legally dead).
as such, the ending opens a new question regarding jason's understanding of himself and vigilantism, or rather the lack thereof. is it possible that vigilantism is really at the core of jay's trauma? and why, potentially, is it something that is so destructive for him as a character specifically? (and i have some answers for that, but i'm not going to get into it here, as it's already a very long post)
so, tldr; the genius of countdown is that it establishes jay as sensitive, determined, and fundamentally good (this is what the purpose of seeing him as batman is!), and then it brutally reminds the reader that jason’s tragedy is that on this specific earth, in this specific timeline, his love doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. the story goes on as it did; one way or another, jay is trapped in the cycle of his care ironically creating rifts between him and the others, and bringing him to his own downfall.
#okay i know i said a lot of it already but it's been some time since i finished the reread and i feel like my take on it has shifted a bit#and i wanted to emphasise the 'no good deed' interpretation!!#also it's just that i've seen a lot of people saying that countdown ends with jason being a civilian.#while i think the whole genius of it is that he is not really a civilian??#have you seen civilians doing whatever the hell he is doing in the final scene?#this is arguably the element of the narrative that is by most readers missed – and i understand why#it's easy to get confused when navigating an event that spans across pretty much all of dc#fortunately for you i have worms for brain. and i have hyperanalysed it#i'm not saying overanalysed btw because i genuinely believe that this is not a case of accidental narrative brilliance#this is a pretty clear and straightforward progression once you dissect it from the rest of the series#and there are a lot of details that further cement my belief that it had to be intentional#i mean. even the recognition that donna and jason know each other is already... a lot for dc writers?#the fatal flaw#51#no good deed#jay.zip#jay.txt#jason todd#core texts#countdown
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Magneto had a really great character arc in the 80s which just got completely chucked in the bin because the new editor taking over the title thought that he should always be a one-note maniacal villain, and I'm disappointed to see X-Men '97 doing the same because the ex-showrunner wanted to recreate his favourite issue.
#x-men#x-men 97#x spoilers#never liked fatal attractions#it isn't a good story#and it terrible for magneto#reducing him to what he was back in the 60s#it is only really remembered for that one moment#which i never really cared for either#and i just feel like the character work has really suffered to cram this entire storyline in#it's like rather than take their time to develop these stories natural#or even try to improve on the flaws of the original work#they're just trying to cram in as many famous moments from the comics#just in case they don't get pick up for another season#there's a severe case of cancellation anxiety about the show#story arcs they could've at leave been two parters are being done in one (like inferno)#and now they'd trying to do three different big arcs all in one#which e is for extinction and ozt were fine together#but pushing in fatal attraction as well just feels like too much#and frankly it is putting me off the show#i'm not here to just see a speed run of x-men greatest hits#i want to see these stories adapted with care and consideration
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Reading something about "why won't the CoS open the borders will Almyra?"
Disregarding the fact that the only CoS controlled territory is Garreg Mach and the Locket is located in the Alliance, why won't the Alliance open the border and welcome Almyrans with open arms?
Well, it's basically showcased (tfw show not tell) in a certain paralogue in FE16.
To start, this is one of the few "defend" maps in the entire game, iirc we have this one, the "protect GM" version of chapter 12, Shamir's paralogue and, iirc, Chapter 14 when Randolph tries to earn "merit".
Basically, the objective of this map is to protect the locket from Almyran forces who are raiding them for some reason.
Hilda starts with :
"Most of our allies have fallen."
So confirmation that Almyran forces aren't only coming with mock weapons to play bowling with their Fodlan neighbours, or are asking politely if they can pass, House Goneril's allies were killed.
"He's not here?! Oh... I'm sorry. You must have been absolutely terrified."
She tries to reassure her random (a Goneril soldier) that she will help, so they don't need to be afraid/to panic anymore.
"That's you, Professor. Please help us save our allies and protect Fódlan's Locket."
The first thing she says is to please "save" her allies/her randoms, and then to protect the locket. Emphasis again on "saving" lives, because Almyrans are raiding not only houses to bring souvenirs, but take lives too.
"Support! We're saved!" "Ah, things are looking up. Let's keep going, and save the others!"
Yep.
If a loldier dies :
"Oh no! They got one...but we can still rescue the others!"
Hilda still wants to "rescue" the others. She worries about the lives of her soldiers who are defending the Locket, but not only the locket!
If they all die, a soldier says this "We must defend here, or else... Our house... The Alliance...".
And if the line is breached, an Almyran soldier will say this :
"Yeah! We took Fódlan's Locket! With this, we'll be able to invade, no problem!"
:(
So bar this chapter blowing a hole the size of a 7 floors building in Claude's character across both games, we see here that, well, Almyra uses weapons and isn't afraid to kill Goneril soldiers who want to protect their homes and houses to "invade".
So who is behind Fodlan's general apathy towards Almyrans, the CoS like Claude says in both games (even if he seems to reconsider after discovering water is wet in VW), or Almyrans themselves???
Or, in other terms, who are we supposed to believe, Claude who tells us the CoS is the reason why Fodlan people don't like people coming from Almyra, or the game, showing us Almyrans are trouncing Fodlan people to happily invade ?
#random thoughts#I swear this verse is really something#it's the show vs tell but pushed to its paroxysm#we're shown something and told the inverse#and apparently the world believe what is told instead of what is shown#and we're supposed to support the ones who tell us something that completely contradicts what we're told#the lack of Claude's reaction in this paralogue is baffling especially since he got a random one in the Alois one#and even if he later plans to change Almyra's mindset#you don't ask first the victim to welcome their abuser with open arms#logic commands to ask the abuser first to stop abusing the victim and only from then you can try to talk to the victim??#FE16#3 Nopes#sort of#Re-reading Hilda here made me appreciate her again somehow#in the even the kindest people you know can have one fatal flaw#of course the games never do anything with it
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HEY!
I MADE A COLLAB! WITH @1ka0oo !!!
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Watched two movies last night (the substance, hostel) and like… both fucking sucked The substance (to me) felt very hamfisted and I feel like we’ve seen this movie multiple times before (the idea of youthfulness, etc) and also the fact that it was 2 and a half hours long (😭) Hostel was bad just generally. I haven’t seen it up until now bc I didn’t gaf and knowing Eli Roth directed it means that there’d be like 1 billion gay jokes. I think it’s okay that they were tortured in Slovakia actually
#No hate towards anyone who likes these movies#(outside of hostel though. I think you have bad taste)#but I am unfortunately pretty pretentious when it comes to horror movies and such. My fatal flaw#I watched (the) Audition (1998) the night previously. And it was really fucking good and kept my attention for the 2 hours! The substance#did not do that. I just feel bad bc the cinematography was really awesome but everything else fucking. Sucked
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gotta say i love the sheer bitchiness of everybody in lockwood n co. im SERIOUS.
#home cooked hijinks#lockwood and co#NO REALLY. i feel like so many characters in fiction are antagonistic for a bit and then become friends n have no personality ever again.#and they ARE friends. but i appreciate more than i can say that lockwood & george & especially lucy are good people#who are not perfect angelic saints to each other all the time!!!#they are jealous and rude and grumpy and insensitive in ways that feel intimately relatable to me.#the small cruelties and slipups of existence r presented in a sympathetic light that feels so rare especially for kids lit.#like. the fact that lucy gets to be rude and reckless and irrationally jealous#and the narrative never treats it as a sin or a trauma response or some fatal flaw to be solved so we can uncover the nice girl underneath#is fucking HUGE to me.#i see this weird attitude a lot about morally grey women in fiction where people will obsess and blorbify them for their Hot Sexy Evil Deed#but the second theyre just a bit nasty in an ordinary everyday sense they will get destroyed 4 it.#like. be so for real for a second.#irl most of us r not gonna be committing huge betrayals or crimes or murders.#and i LIKE stories about redemption for those things! i do!#but i also think it’s so important to recognize that not every wrong action has a grand sacrifice we can make in return.#we are all gonna be cruel in small human ways sometimes!!! it’s ok!! we just gotta be kind in those ways too.
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God why is my mother such a terrible human being
#ollie talks.txt#ollie vents.txt#I'm just not getting better while I live here#no matter how hard I try to move past it she's still digging it up#she's still trying to justify hitting a 10 year old child#she still thinks she's the fucking victim here#I think I'd feel safer on a mindfield that I do in a room with her#it's really just gonna fucking be like this isn't it?#abusers who 'get better' never really let go of it. they still think they're in the right. now they're just afraid you cat hurt them back#why do I still love her. my fatal flaw is the fact that I still love her. she made me into a hollow husk of a person who attempted suicide#at 11 and I still love her. she told me I'll die if I ever leave her house and I still love her. she told me I'll die a drug addict on the#street and I still love her. she ripped my favourite clothes apart because I didn't wabt to do my homework and I still loved her#she never let me leave the house until I was 14 and I still love her. she told me I'd be raped and kidnapped if I did like it's a normal#thing to say to a child and I still love her. she told me I'm the only friend she has and I still love her.#how am I supposed to be normal about love after this? is it even love or just complacency? I'm not even sure anymore#just fucking stop. why can't you be normal. why must you dig and dig into my trauma until I lash out and hurt you#yeah I do wish I was never born! but I can't say that to your fucking face because you say you'll slit your throat if I do say it!#who the fuck do you think you are? what gives you the right to do this to me?#you're not trying to be better for my sake you're just haunted by the guilt of what you did and want to be oh such a good parent#guess what you don't get that. you don't get that privilege. not after what you did you have blood on your hands and it'll ALWAYS stay there#you'll die and I'll remember you for the abusive and cruel and violent and hateful person you were to me#I don't fucking care about your child trauma. you can guilt me into feeling sorry for you anymore. feeling sorry for you never made you#change. if you were capable of it you'd done it at this point.#cptsd is truly one hell of a drug. I'll never have children. never
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Me: I'm not gonna get super attached to Kars because he's a pretty popular character and canonically has a husband, this is just casual haha
Me now: ..................... I'm uh...... painfully attached to Kars and imagine very intimate and passionate moments with this man but I'm staying strong, I'm being so brave about this 😏👉👉 ..... Oh dear Neptune help me-
#kars mi novio#(thankfully I haven't- i don't want to jinx anything- had the painful fear of abandonment jealousy yet-#- but if that happens then I'll probably put my selfship with him on pause and try to unattach myself from him-#-for a little while until the feeling subsides. it's not like vanilla where a lot of people don't care about him-#-and i can be selfish and scared in peace eheh... the kars thing I'm dealing with by just ignoring stuff-#- i will **not** block you if you have a crush on him or ship with him- but i will ignore things!!-#- when i fall in love.... i fall hard x_x that is my fatal flaw ugh.... -#/not mad /neutral (mostly just talking and getting my feelings out)#to tell you all the truth... I'm not really sure why I'm in love with Kars specifically right now but i assume it-#-probably has something to do with wanting to be protected and feel secure (because he's very strong and powerful)#this has turned into a ramble 😭😭
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