#fascinated. fascinated with the way this stupid fact of who can swim or not keeps coming up

[rxttenfish]

MY GIRL CARPENTER IS NOT BEATING THE SLASHER VILLAIN ACCUSATIONS

[pikachu78109]

General Pokémon Villain HC’s PT. 1

((This is just a random list of head canons on these fellas and I’m not going to go by generation, chronologically))

Archie🌊

Despite his rough, intimidating stature, Archie’s a down to earth, chill guy. If anything, he’s the kind of person who doesn’t take life too seriously. Not too strict with rules, I mean he DOES incorporate some regulations, but for the most part he isn’t going to lose his mind if one of his Grunts does something stupid.

Speaking of Grunts, Archie’s relationship with his team would be that of Luffy’s crew. He cares about his teammates and will absolutely go up to bat for them and they respect the hell out him for it.

Shelley and Archie go way back. They are childhood friends that grew up in Lilycove up until Archie left for Kanto around his late-teens. As close as they are, it’s platonic, although Shelley has developed an interest in Archie, but he’s pretty dense about it. Shelley handles the more responsible aspects within Team Aqua and usually gives a final say whenever Archie might be incapable of doing so. She’s a lot more serious and tends to command more authority than Archie, but she never oversteps her bounds (he’s the leader after all).

Matt and Archie met each other a bit later on in life, probably when Archie was either 12-14. As a big, buff man, Matt tends to be perceived negatively by many people, thinking he’s a troublemaker with intent to hurt others. Archie never viewed Matt in that sense, rather seeing a sensitive and genuine side that holds a heart of gold that proves the many nefarious speculations wrong. As a result, Matt developed a fierce sense of loyalty to Archie, cementing him not just a boss that he’ll follow, but a bro for life.

The pirate inspiration came from the books that Archie used to read as a kid. Not really anything deep, but pirates have always fascinated Archie.

In relation to pirates, Archie lowkey looks to up Drake. Aesthetically anyway.

Archie does stupid shit all. the. time. It’s a miracle that he’s still alive. He could agree to a dare and won’t even question the details.

After the events with Kyogre, Archie had to take some time to reflect. Archie really thought that he was doing the world favor, or rather the Pokémon a favor, by awakening the Sea Basin legend, but totally didn’t expect the outcome. For sure, he felt like garbage and he took it hard. Of course, it doesn’t discredit the fact that Archie did do some bad things (stealing a submarine, Devon parts, a fucking orb) and he’s not the kind of person who makes BS excuses to save face (neither does Maxie). He’ll take responsibility and will figure his issues out with the help of Shelley, and possibly with May and Brandon. Heart was genuinely in the right place, but Archie was too blind to see red flags.

Surprisingly great with kids. You would think that a villain would despise children, but Archie doesn’t mind being around little scamps. He likes their energy and he can keep up pretty well. He’s like the big bro or chill uncle that a lot of kids can talk to, even though the adults think that he’s a bad influence.

Can hold his alcohol pretty well. Man can gulp down at least five to ten drinks before he’s completely cutoff. Hates wine though.

If he hadn’t formed Team Aqua, I imagine him being a super cool marine biologist teacher. His fields trips would be so awesome.

Pretty softhearted and gets emotional a little too easily. It doesn’t take much for this man to cry. Show him a cute baby Spheal learning how to swim? He’s sobbing in seconds.

Maxie🌋

Maxie is an awkward individual who’s so stern, so strict, that it’s almost comical. Everything he does, he does with a bullet pointed mindset. First this, then this, etc. Spontaneity does not apply to Maxie; he’s always prepared and unwilling to make any exceptions because, to him, that would be an inconvenience.

For all his sternness, Maxie can relent a little. He hates making mistakes and expects his team to perform at their absolute. However, he’s no perfectionist and understands that mistakes are always present. It’s a good thing that he’s exceedingly patient.

Tabitha met Maxie as the man was beginning to form Team Magma. He was drawn by Maxie’s keen eye for technology and his knowledge about geological discoveries, a topic that Tabitha took great interest while in college. Of course, Tabitha soon became the earliest member and stuck by Maxie’s side like glue. I would say that Tabitha might be a people pleaser as he does tend to do what Maxie tells him, although, here and there, Tabitha does harbor a bit of jealousy towards everyone praising the Magma boss a bit too much.

Courtney’s…..odd, to put it lightly. Her odd speech patterns coupled that with her robotic mannerisms has led many in Team Magma to wonder if she’s even human. She doesn’t particularly care about expanding landmass (personally) but rather harbors an unhealthy fixation on Maxie. His capabilities of a leader and how he carries himself draw Courtney in and she becomes super defensive against anyone to dares opposes Maxie’s ideals. Being analytical, Courtney studies Maxie’s abilities and feels certain that his way of thinking is the correct approach. Maxie doesn’t feel unnerved by Courtney’s presence and Courtney herself makes sure to not overstep bounds (disappointingly).

Maxie hates being touched, in an intimate sense. No hugging, but a handshake will suffice.

Doesn’t understand slang/texting language. This man is in his late thirties and texts so damn formally and refuses to learn any shortcut text forms. Everything has to be typed out fully, punctuation included.

It could be 80 degrees outside and Maxie will still wear his turtleneck hoodie combo. How this man does not get a heat stroke is beyond comprehension. He might be sweating bullets, but damn, I wish I had his stamina.

Not the best with his emotions, but not like Cyrus level of bad. He’s a blunt, direct individual and can’t really emote well. He’ll say he’s upset, but it’s more restrained, if anything.

Cyrus🪐

A sad, empty man who may very well be the grandfather of emo and nihilism’s best friend for life. Cyrus is a complicated person, so much so that he’s still talked about to this day. No one can quite read Cyrus clearly, not even his Admins.

Despite his impeccable leadership skills and prowess to hold his own in battle, Cyrus is a frail man. His physicality isn’t very strong and the lack of Vitamin D certainly shows as this dude is on his way to becoming a walking corpse. Needless to say, Cyrus doesn’t take very good care of himself and can pass out quite easily if left unattended.

Repressing emotions, as Cyrus strives to achieve, always has been a difficult feat. Although monotone and emotionless to a degree, Cyrus has slipped up and expressed other feelings that aren’t spite and frustration. He’s capable of feeling happiness but he pushes it down so much in order to feel numb. Most of his laughter are mumbled chuckles that are barely noticeable unless you have good ears.

Most of his Admins joined Team Galactic for their own reasons, but most common would be that they are all social outcasts. Cyrus appealed to them mainly for his personal outlook on life and similar experiences with being cast aside, which all three (Saturn, Mars, and Jupiter) could certainly relate to.

Charon joined Team Galactic after the events of Diamond and Pearl, so his reasoning for being there are mostly unknown. Deep down, Charon despises Cyrus and seeks to become leader himself, but no one on Team Galactic takes Charon too seriously.

Doesn’t stay in contact with his grandfather because he doesn’t want to involve him in his life due to the path he chose to pursue. One of the very few moments where Cyrus actually genuinely cares for another human being.

Speaking of his grandfather, he has tried multiple times to reach out to Cyrus, especially when he was little. The family shunned the grandfather for reasons unknown and contact being kept at a painful distance. Still, on the super rare occasions when Cyrus and his grandfather would reunite, it’s a pleasant time.

Cyrus doesn’t have too many hobbies, but tinkering with machinery has always been his passion. Give this man a busted up device and he’ll be showing off his skills proudly.

As a kid, he has tried to make friends, but everyone was put off by him and his strange behavior. Doesn’t help that his home life had its own challenges that made him feel like shit.

Parents weren’t physically abusive, but they were certainly dismissive and self-absorbed folk who would demean their child and shame them for their interests. They were emotionally and mentally abusive to Cyrus, the scars of which permanently traumatized this man for the rest of his life. Parents would pretend that he didn’t exist or sometimes didn’t acknowledge him when in front of company. This oftentimes led Cyrus to hole himself up in his bedroom to escape into his own world, full of machinery and quiet, where no one could bother him.

Cyrus just hurts. There’s not a lot of positivity with this character and, truthfully, he just needs to go to therapy.

[quinloki]

Okay, I don't know what either of us is in for at this point. But I woke up today with an idea for Part 2 of Swimming with Arlong and as the idea formed it got considerably less SFW and more NSFW. I was a blushing mess by the end of it. This from a person who doesn't write smut so this could be absolutely terrible and I don't know why I'm dumping it on you, but here I am and here I go.

I might be going to hell for this. Watery hanky panky with THE saw shark to beat all saw sharks. I made myself blush repeatedly writing this. And I'm sorry, this runs so damn long and I can't do a keep reading in an ask.

Swimming with Arlong (Part 2)

After insinuating that Arlong was an amphibian and not technically a fish, we swam around the lake in silence. I was resting my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat and genuinely avoiding eye contact because I clearly got under his skin with that one. I mean, I'm not technically wrong.

Fish that breathe air do have an extra organ just for that function. The ones who have both lungs and gills are in fact, amphibians. This is also ignoring all of the other facts that point to fishmen being a stupid ass name for a species that clearly aren't fish, but of course I can't point that out to Arlong because he'll just get insulted. I'll have to make a mental note to share it with Chew, he's always been down to listen to my unhinged theories.

I think he secretly agrees with me but he passes it off as I'm "fascinating" in front of the others. Arlong is best buddies with Kuroobi (whom I affectionately call Pigtails, much to his chagrin) and I get along best with Chew. Anyway, Arlong got pissed and now I can't look at him. Chances are he's mildly annoyed to stop talking but not angry enough to actually be angry, but my own anxiety is telling me I pissed him off royally and therefore, I can't look at him.

Arlong knows me well enough to not push me and just let me relax as much as I can. He knows I'm in my head telling myself lies. He's just waiting for the right time to pull me out of it. Go in too early and I'll break, wait too long and distance will grow between us. Arlong is learned this routine the hard way, so now he's just swimming quietly and waiting.

At some point, I get tired of myself and begin tracing the lines of Arlong's Sun tattoo. I'm not even thinking about it, just tracing along absentmindedly. Arlong adjusts slightly, carefully, to maintain my tracing but also to allow himself the ability to watch me.

"It's lucky for you I'm not ticklish."

Stopping mid-trace of the actual circle of the sun, I sheepishly turn my head to finally look him in the eye, "ticklish or no, you promised you wouldn't let go of me in the water."

There's a pause. "Did you think I'd let go of you because you said I was an amphibian?"

"Not exactly." My voice feels small, I wonder if it sounds small. I know he would never let go. Arlong keeps his promises. Sometimes he tries to find loopholes to them, but the big promises—the ones that are serious, he never backs out of those. Not drowning me is a big promise, he wouldn't go back on it. And yet, the fear that he would is ever present for no reason. I hate my brain sometimes.

"Then what did you think exactly?"

"That you were mad and I was enjoying this so much I didn't want to see you mad."

A gentle chuckle, "so that's why you kept your head down. Not mad and I didn't even mean the part where I said I hate you. I love you and you know it." He looks off to the side for a second before continuing, "but I am not an amphibian. I'm a shark, a saw shark...with a dorsal fin and everything."

Damn right. I love that dorsal fin of his. He thinks I'm odd and weird about his dorsal fin, but damn. I just grin at him, "do all shark fishmen have dorsal fins?"

Arlong rolls his eyes, "They do not, I don't recall Jinbe having one and he's a shark."

"He's just a whale shark, they're built different."

"Darling, I really don't feel like discussing Jinbe or shark fishmen anatomy...again."

"Fine. What do you want to talk about?"

Flashing his teeth as he slyly grins at me, "well, I was hoping for something else entirely."

I continue tracing while eyeing him suspiciously, that sly grin generally means doing something rather than saying something.

"Since I've got your clothes off, and you technically have nowhere to go, I thought we could explore that fear of water you have i more detail."

If I narrowed my eyes any more they'd be closed. That is not where I thought he was going with this. I thought I was going to get some shark lovin' but instead he wants to torture me?! Screw that. "You want to psychoanalyze me or try to drown me under the guise of swimming lessons?"

He stops swimming abruptly and honestly looks so confused, "how the hell did you get to drowning when I was trying to convince you to have sex with me in the water?"

Oh, so he did mean that. I bury my face against his sternum as my blush starts to form and spread. Of course his mind went to the gutter, he got my clothes off. His mind always goes there if he can get me to strip to my birthday suit. Why did I think otherwise?!

"Wow Keiko, you're really bad at flirting. And we've been together for awhile now and you're still remarkably bad at it." Arlong is laughing which just makes my blushing worse, because he's so not wrong.

As I continue to wallow in my miserable ineptitude, Arlong takes the initiative and begins tracing his hands up and down my back and sides. He leans in to my ear and lowly rumbles, "so Keiko, wanna get freaky the fishman way?"

Well, that did it. The squeal that came out of me, the webbed hand that slid down to grab my ass. Yeah, he planned this whole thing from start to finish. I wondered why no one else left the ship to explore the island with us. Oh, I am so going to get teased about this later.

Arlong moved so he was no longer floating lazily on his back, now he was treading water (still lazily because come on, he's a fishman) and still holding me tightly to his chest. The sudden change in incline though freaked me out enough that I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"You know how you like my dorsal fin so much? You're going to want to hold on."

Lord have mercy. I do as I'm told and latch both of my hands onto his dorsal fin, which is a bit of a reach for me honestly. Grabbing onto it lifts me up slightly to the point I can comfortably rest my arms across Arlong's shoulders and my hips are at just the right level for him.

We've now locked eyes with each other and Arlong still has that shit eating grin, "there's my woman. We're going to change the rules up a bit for this, now I'm technically not going to let go and nothing will happen to you, but I need you to promise me that you won't let go either. I need to be able to move my hands without worrying about you slipping under the water, okay?" His eyes and mouth are smiling but his voice is deadly serious.

I nod vigorously and tighten my grip on his fin and he takes that as confirmation and as my promise to him. I won't let go and he still won't let me drown. So far, so good.

"Good girl." Damn that phrase, he knows I hate it and love it at the same time. Any other time it's downright insulting, I'm a grown ass woman but right now it does nothing but make me hot. I'm sure I'm wet down south but I'm literally in a lake so I can't even tell at this point. But he can.

One of Arlong's hands slips down my back and begins rubbing my folds, "already getting wet down there and I've barely even done anything. Are you sure you're afraid of water or was it simply a ruse to get me in my natural environment?"

I bite my lip, I don't want to answer that. Of course I'm afraid of water, it's my greatest fear, but if this is how he's going to treat me in water from now on, then hot damn, I'm going to have to learn to take longer baths and to hell with the shower.

His other hand gives my ass another squeeze. "Ease up on our lip Keiko, you're going to bite through and bleed." For a brief moment concern flashes across his icy blue eyes as I shake my head, still unable to find my voice and say anything. Arlong doesn't take to my refusal, he pulls his hands away from me and wraps my legs around his body, to keep me afloat in case my arms give out. Then the hand that held my ass comes up to my face and he gently pulls my lip from my teeth, "hey now, biting is my thing."

He runs his thumb across my lip as if checking for wounds; I break eye contact out of shame. He doesn't let me slip back into my head for long though, his fingers gently wrap around the back of my head and he pulls me in for a deeply passionate kiss. Instinctively I open my mouth for him and his tongue wastes no time entering. I don't have a chance to reciprocate, he rarely lets me because of his teeth. I only cut my tongue on them once but the taste of my blood in his mouth freaked him out and he wouldn't get intimate for three weeks after that.

As Arlong almost literally steals my breath away in that kiss, his other hand returns to my folds and continues rubbing eliciting a moan from me into the kiss. He pulls away so I (we) can breathe, "found your voice now?"

"Yeah." I say breathily, "Arlong, please...stop teasing me."

"As you wish, beloved." There it is, the pet name no one else knows about. The one he never utters unless we are truly alone with each other, the one that he utters when he makes love. The crew knows I'm his woman but they don't know how deep that love runs. I am his beloved. There is no other.

He pulls his hand away and lines himself up at my entrance. The first time was excruciatingly painful, he certainly puts the long in his name but he has a girth to him that I hadn't been prepared for. Each time it got easier and now he's no trouble to take, I've adjusted to him, grown to accept him into me with ease.

But damn alive, water makes it even better. He slipped right in as if there were never a two-and-a-half-foot difference between us. I still throw my head back every time, it doesn't matter how easy he is to take, he still stretches me and fills me up. I'm still a cramped space that he swears feels like heaven every time.

"Damn Keiko, that took no time at all." Even he noticed how easy it was this time as he begins his watery thrusts. Slow at first, slow but deliberate. Snapping his hips against mine as he nearly pulls out entirely and then slams himself back in. Arlong's slow thrusts are some of his roughest. He drags out each moan, each squeal, each chorus of begging him to pick up his pace.

As it is, I've only just barely found my voice and my squeals and moans are front and center. I can't even think of words with which to beg. Instead, I dig my nails into his dorsal fin as my back starts to arch. The trouble with fishmen is their stamina and sex usually means multiple orgasms for me before Arlong ever gets his.

The bastard likes to drag a back-arching orgasm out of me with his slow pace first. It's harder to arch when I'm vertical and I swear I'm going to take chunks out of his fin if I'm not careful. I barely get his name out, "Ar...l...ng, fas...faster, please!"

That damn chuckle that radiates through him and into me as his hands and arms wrap around my torso holding me closer to him. Him burying his face in the crook of my neck, taking care with his nose, and gently biting my shoulder and neck. Leaving little pin prick bite marks, not enough to draw blood or leave scars but enough for me to feel.

All of that happening at the same time as his thrusts picking up speed. Were we not in water a passerby would hear nothing but skin on skin as Arlong rams himself into me at a speed as if he were trying to outrun a marine. I'm seeing stars, my fingers leaving his fin to tangle in his hair as I scream his name over and over again with each crashing orgasm.

Arlong's breath finally hitches and his thrusts become erratic as he reaches his own climax. A final grunt from him as he stills entirely and we both pant for air. Arlong gives another chuckle, "well, at least this time we don't have to drag ourselves to the shower to bathe."

It's all I can do to give a breathy chuckle in reply. All strength drained from me and exhaustion seeping in from the edges of my mind. Arlong slides out of me leaving an emptiness in his wake as he carefully swims us both back to shore.

He never puts me down and I still haven't let go of him myself. Arlong puts on his pants but wraps his shirt around me, then picks up my things in one hand as the other wraps around me to keep his shirt covering me. Quietly and contentedly, he walks us back to the ship while I fall asleep on his shoulder.

I'm still afraid of water but I'm open to swimming with Arlong more often now.

Oh this was very good - there aren't many Arlong fics out there, but I love the relationship your OC has with him.

The shift from "fighting" to making up afterward was done very well, it didn't feel rushed or anything like that. The awkwardness of it - of not knowing what to say or not being sure how to mend it, and getting a front row seat to that was done well enough I wasn't uncomfortable with the amount of awkwardness.

Also I love Keiko /nod nod/

Also for someone who doesn't write smut you did a perfectly fine job. Smut writing can take a lot of forms - it can be an emotional description, a detailed physical description, a mix in pretty much any manner. You can use euphemisms or clinical terms or just downright salaciously dirty ones.

The real importance of "how to do a smut scene" is based on the kind of story it's embedded in. A jarring tone-shift would throw anyone off, and it can leave the end result feeling disconnected and plastic no matter how it's written.

The more you write them, just like practice with anything else, the more you can find places to include little details - be they physical or emotional - and it'll add a depth to things.

And how sex feels or what physical reactions it causes are different from person to person. Some people climax quietly, some loudly, some people curl, some go taut from head to toe, some whimper, some growl, some drool.

Most people will even have a different reaction based on a whole slew of variables.

So it's really hard to write smut wrong.

Great job with this ^_^ I enjoyed reading it this morning ❤️

[at-the-end-of-time]

This is a dark premise. What made you want to write something like this? /noff

First off, I'm stealing /noff from you, I haven't heard that one before jfndnd

Second, I will put below the cut cuz this one's a bit heavy.

I've struggled with things like death and my place in the world for a while. I like to think I know who I am, what I'm about, and what I want to do, but I also know that I'm capable of so much more, y'know? So do I persue storytelling like I've always wanted, or become a biologist? I know I'd enjoy both paths, but which one is more fulfilling?

Not to mention, I've been outrunning death from some of my own earliest memories. One of my most formative memories is in one of those pools where lifeguards can control how big the waves are, and I followed my dad to a deeper part of the pool to get his attention. When he didn't even realize I was there, I pushed further, until the waves grew too much and I couldn't touch the bottom. I remember the feeling of water filling my lungs. I woke up on my side, and my parents were filling out paperwork with the lifeguards. Whoops.

I've got so many bad experiences 🥽 ng that it's a wonder I'm not afraid of water. In fact, swimming is still one of my favorite activities.

In middle school, I got diagnosed with Graves Disease. First of all, great name /sar. Second, mine was so severe that my resting BPM was 160. Granted, I was in middle school, so that's not TOO bad, but even still a normal resting BPM would have been between 120 and 140. My running BPM got up to 230, sometimes 240!

I'm finally out living it now in my 20's, but I thought I'd have this stupid disease for life.

Also in middle school, I became clinically depressed, which spanned into high school and even made me suicidal for a bit. I made it, but it was gruelling.

In 2023, for my creative writing class in college, I wrote an ode to death that, when voiced, is about 8 minutes long. Still one of my best works.

Throughout everything, I've always been morbidly fascinated with the idea of death. If not dead today, right now, what would that mean? What would happen? Exploring those thoughts has sometimes been terrifying, and other times comforting. Terrifying because I'm worried I'll have missed my shot, and comforting because I know I'd be missed, y'know?

This particular story came to mind because of modern politics and the 5 different genocides happening globally. Why can people just stand by? How? When the greenhouse gases kill the earth, is it possible to escape? Will Earth recover?

And from there, I just combined the two.

Existentialism, fear, love, terror, death- all things I'm fascinated by in different ways, combined into one giant exploration of what it means to be alive. How DO you find the will to keep living when, ultimately, nothing matters? The ship WILL be sucked into the black hole. You can't outrun death forever. So do you just give up and surrender to it, or do you keep fighting for as long as possible? Why should you?

All that and more, I guess.

[shuihuzhuan]

my honest review of helluva boss after getting stupid with a couple friends and watching it all the way through because weve known each other for years and think tht kind of thing is funny is that it's, like, decidedly mid but like at a point on the mid scale where i can wish that it was decent. like if you redesigned all of the characters (because its not that some of the jokes that weren't just "hey we can say the word fuck did you know?" werent funny they were just coming out of the mouths of character designs that gave me carpal tunnel to Imagine drawing much less animating) and gave the script another pass with, like, maybe a professional writer who could refine it so they don't say fuck every four words and took out that one episode that entirely retconned the main relationship that viv wants you to root for it could be like. fine. middling show that airs on adult swim late at night and only a few people end up catching. you can tell it's a side project developed much later than hazhotel and that works entirely in its favor: vivziepop still can't kill her darlings but at least this time she's less attached to bullshit she probably made up in high school. it gets to sidestop most of the problems with hazhotel because of its smaller scale & the fact it simply does Not dwell on the whole "yo why are all of your sinners marginalized people" thing like it simply does not have the chance. and also they're not major characters so they're Not.

the show's biggest problem is just how ridiculously yaoibrained vivienne is - which results in the classic sidelining female characters & just... like, fucking up the characterizations of both them and the guys she wants to ship whenever she feels like it'll make the former or latter party feel less or more sympathetic respectively whenever it's convenient. like initially stolas' wife wants him dead and/or divorced because he's an asshole cheater. like, yeah, that's how it works, but later it's just like Well actually no she's just hated him and tried to get him killed looney tunes style the Whole Time they've been married which on paper is kind of funny but it's, like, come on man this guy sucks. he's an asshole that couldn't give less of a shit about his family. you're told that his only redeeming quality is trying to keep his family together because he cares about his daughter but then in the episode dedicated to him and his daughter he simply does not show it, instead spending the entire thing hitting on the main character who, in the context of what we're shown in that story, embodies the whole "he's a piece of shit but has the one redeeming quality of giving a shit about his daughter" INFINITELY better than we're supposed to believe w stolas. it's fascinating.

theres generally just a lot of Tell Don't Show going on when it comes to retconning these things. this is getting long sorry so basically ill just say all of the episodes written by people who Aren't vivziepop are like. honestly i'd go so far as to say like. decent. i think she needs to just kill herself and give her shit to someone else or something man idk

[novelconcepts]

Jamie & Dani short prompt- Online Dating au meeting online and being from bad past relationship. Thank u

This is probably a bad idea. It is, isn’t it? Almost certainly.

Why is she here?

Dani Clayton has been playing this particular set of thoughts--bad idea, terrible idea, why would you do this?--on repeat for three days. Ever since setting up that dating profile. Ever since realizing there isn’t much use in setting up a dating profile if you’re not going to use it. 

Oh, it’s all fun and games, building the thing. Find a photo that accentuates all the best parts of your face--Dani, after an hour of careful consideration, wound up going with one that accentuated her hair, more than anything, but she suspects the same idea counts. Then, the profile. What do you like? Teaching, long walks, new experiences, bad coffee. What don’t you like? 

Men, she’d thought, and snorted aloud into her wine before settling on: Deep water, accordion music, expectations, being called Danielle. 

A little more flourish, tipsy keystrokes, a casually-framed short-version of her life. Perfect. And then...well, then you hit the publish button, don’t you? You decide, for better or worse, to jump off this diving board and see just how far you can stand to swim before the energy gives out on you.

The faces appearing before her hadn’t been bad, certainly. Pretty, most of them. Interesting, a few. Still, she hadn’t swiped right on any--once or twice, because she’d forgotten which way meant yes please, but mostly because no one seemed quite...right. Which, she’d thought, was silly. The whole point of an app like this is to cast as many nets as possible and see what comes up. The whole point is to have fun. 

But every time she’d hovered over a promising image, a woman who likes dogs, or plays the violin, or goes rock-climbing in her spare time, she’d thought of him. Eddie. Who had taken one yes to a single date, and tried to make a whole life with her out of it. 

Eddie, who had taken her two decades to pull away from. 

What if the women here were the same? Not Eddie, exactly, but--presumptive. What if they believed a swipe-right was as good as a marriage proposal? What if she got bound up in conversation, and then a date, and then a relationship with someone else who just didn’t fit right?

Left. Left. Left. 

And then: the mistake.

She hadn’t meant to swipe right. Exactly. She hadn’t planned, maybe is the better way of putting it, on swiping right. She’d only wanted to look at the woman’s profile a little longer. Only wanted to inspect the facets this woman had put out on display with almost resigned simplicity. 

Some people, Dani had by now realized, wrote poetry and paragraphs to describe themselves. 

Jamie Taylor had bullet points.

“Gardener. English. Likes: Plants. Stories. Tea. Dislikes: Bullshit.”

The end. That had been quite literally the sum of it. Gardener. English. No bullshit.

But the picture, somehow, Dani hadn’t been able to look away from. Not because of carefully-arranged lighting, not because of a curated model-clean image--but because the woman appeared to have posted the photo almost under duress. It came in profile, as though someone else had done the job, her head turned toward the camera as if interrupted. Her hands were buried in a flower pot. Her clothes were simple--a tank top, a silver chain resting against the jut of collarbones, a pair of worn-looking jeans with holes in the knees. Her eyes--some fascinating color Dani couldn’t quite place--looked somewhere between amused and irritated. 

She looked real. 

Stupid, Dani thinks now--because that was probably the idea, wasn’t it? This woman, Jamie, had planned to look exactly this way. Real. Vexed at the idea of putting herself out there. Reluctantly available. 

It was a ploy, certainly--but one that seems to be working, because not only did Dani accidentally-not-accidentally swipe right, she found herself texting the woman. For hours. She’d expected much less, had figured this Jamie person would be as brief in text as she had been in bio, but...

Jamie had talked to her. Willingly. Teasingly, with more humor than truth, maybe, but with no sign at all that she was sick of Dani’s questions, bad jokes, nervous assessment that I really don’t do this, I honestly don’t get it. 

I don’t, either, Jamie had replied, and that had felt like enough of a reason to keep testing the waters. Enough of a reason to keep the conversation going back and forth, back and forth, until nearly two in the morning.

Shit, she’d said. I need to be at work in four hours. 

Shame, Jamie had replied, her tone already searingly familiar over text. Own your own business, make your own hours. Far wiser approach. 

I’ll make a note of it for when I found an elementary school, Dani had replied, laughing. She hadn’t said she’d already been in bed for an hour, the phone resting on the pillow beside her head so she wouldn’t miss the buzz of a new message. It had seemed perfectly reasonable at the time, with wine-warmed blood and the happy haze of good conversation. Jamie made her laugh. Jamie put her at ease. Jamie might not have been real, but she felt real, and that was good. 

Better than anything she’d felt in years, if she was honest with herself. 

Still, when the next day had come and gone with no message, she’d thought, Fair enough. Jamie had been good virtual company for one night. It was more than she’d expected to get out of this app.

Far more than she’d expected, particularly when Thursday night rolled around and her phone buzzed.

Teacher, yeah? No school on Saturday?

Correct, Dani had replied, as amused by the out-of-left-field text as she was irritated with how her stomach had flipped over upon receiving it. You have figured out the complexity of the American school system. 

I am a genius, Jamie sent back, followed quickly by: Drinks tomorrow night? 

Drinks. A thing that people do. A thing that adult people do for date reasons. 

She isn’t real, she’d thought, even as her thumb was punching back: How’s 8? Miller’s?

A mistake. Definitely a mistake. Because the app had been a lark, and the conversation had been too easy, and the fact that she can’t quite pick out the colors in Jamie’s eyes from a single photo is making her crazier than she’d like to admit. 

A mistake, saying yes. A mistake, suggesting the local pub-like establishment around the corner, whose beer-and-burger specials had kept her fed on too many evenings spent working late. A mistake, because once this goes south--as it’s absolutely bound to, as everything Eddie-shaped always has--she’s going to lose her favorite hangout in the deal, too.

And yet: here she is. Standing at the door, wondering if the outfit chosen for the evening festivities--tight jeans, pink blouse, hoop earrings--is too much or not nearly enough. 

What am I doing here?

Maybe, she thinks with mingled alarm and hope, she won’t even have showed up. Maybe it’s all part of the ruse: look approachable, look human and normal, look a little too beautiful in the most grounded way possible--then, cheerfully, invite a woman to drinks and just don’t show. A fun story for whoever comes next. Can you believe she thought I’d want to meet her after one night of texting?

“Dani?” 

English, Dani thinks with a sudden rush of heat. Right. Somehow, she hadn’t quite been prepared for the accent, which--coming out of this woman, draped with languid ease at a table--is truly a little more than Dani thinks she can handle just now. The accent, combined with the mess of curls dragged back from her face, and a dress sense that manages to be both casual and deeply attractive at the same time, is...

“Jamie,” she says, her voice a little lower, a little more hoarse, than is truly necessary. The woman pushes up from her seat, a small-framed figure in a black button-down, suspenders, ripped jeans. She’s pressing a hand toward Dani, offering a firm shake as though they are business partners, not an off-the-cuff bad idea of a date. “You look--”

“Never been here before,” Jamie says, almost apologetically. She gestures for Dani to sit before dropping back down in a sprawl that implies exactly the opposite of what her mouth is insisting. “Wasn’t sure about the, ah, dress code.”

“You--you did fine,” Dani tells her, wishing suddenly she’d gone for a dress. Or a  different human body altogether. She feels too tightly-strung, too anxious for the easy smile on Jamie’s lips. “Um. You’re very. In person.”

“Very,” Jamie repeats, a hint of uncertainty in her voice. “Is very American for wish I’d gone left, after all?”

“No. No. Absolutely not. That.” Bit too forceful, she suspects, judging by the smile spreading into a grin. “No, it’s just--your picture didn’t--tell me you’d be so...”

“Clean?” Jamie suggests innocently. She raises her hands, wiggling her fingers in a small wave. “Scrub up fine, when I need to. Seemed to call for it.”

“And you...sure did answer,” Dani says stupidly. “The. Call, I mean. I’m sorry, I really don’t do this often.”

Something seems to soften in Jamie, her smile less teasing as she leans across the table. “Hey, no worries here. Same person you were talking to the other night.”

Dani nods, embarrassed, and flags down a server. Drinks ordered, she draws in a deep breath.

“I mean, I haven’t done this in years. Or. Ever, I guess.”

“A first date?” Jamie asks. When Dani doesn’t answer, she adds in a knowing tone, “A date with a woman?”

“Both,” Dani says honestly. “My last relationship was--well, I mean, we were engaged--”

Jamie whistles under her breath, reaching up to scratch her head. “Blimey. What happened?”

“He’s...him.” It’s too much to go into on a first date, too much to explain, even though talking to Jamie over text had been so dangerously easy. “My best friend growing up, but that was...growing up.”

Jamie nods thoughtfully, tilting her chin in thanks when the server deposits two full pint glasses and a basket of fries on the table. “Rough time, sounds like. I can relate. My last relationship also did not go well.”

“Was he also a man who thought you’d be all too happy to quit your job and take care of a bunch of babies?” Dani asks, perhaps a little too bitterly for the occasion. Jamie flashes another grin, sipping her drink.

“She was a woman who thought I’d be all too happy to take the fall when she got busted for possession.”

Dani gapes. “Oh. Oh--I didn’t know--I’m so--”

Jamie shrugs. “She wasn’t wrong. I was nineteen, and deeply stupid. Live and learn, as the poets say.”

“Which poets?” Dani asks, smiling a little. Jamie’s brow furrows.

“John...Lennon, possibly? Hard to say. Anyway, relationships are a chore and a half, but the greatest people in the world tell me thirty is too old to play musical bedframes, so. Here we are.”

No bullshit, thinks Dani approvingly. For what little she’d put into her profile, Jamie evidently hadn’t been lying about that.

“You haven’t been in a relationship since you were nineteen?”

“In my mind, I was still in the relationship at twenty-four, when they let me out. She didn’t agree. Found out she’d been married two years, by then.” Something darkens in Jamie’s eyes for a moment. She sighs. “Like I said. Not my finest. But I am, as they say, a shining beacon of reform these days.”

“Now, when you say they,” Dani teases, grinning. Jamie nods decisively. 

“John Lennon. Definitively.”

There it is, thinks Dani, watching Jamie pop a fry into her mouth. There, the easy roll of conversation from the other night. As though they’ve known each other forever. As though two people who have thus far failed irrevocably at relationships make a perfect match.

Easy, she thinks. Don’t go wild, now. 

“So,” she says, when the comfortable silence between them has grown a bit too comfortable for the setting, “who are the greatest people in the world? The ones who tell you thirty is too old for...did you say musical bedframes?”

Jamie laughs. The ring of it curls gently around Dani’s head like a soft hand, a sound she’ll find herself replaying later with a skipping heart. 

“Not many willing to put up with a grump of my caliber, but Hannah and Owen fight the good fight. So long as I at least pretend to try.”

“Let me guess. They set up the account for you?”

Jamie makes a sort of gesture in the air with the hand not holding her glass. “Threatened to bury me in puns and children, respectively, if I kept putting it off. Owen’s still grumpy about the photo choice.”

“I liked it,” Dani says without thinking. Jamie raises an eyebrow.

“Well, you did swipe as much. Mind if I ask why?”

Walked into this one. Still, she doesn’t mind as much as she probably should, not with the genuine curiosity in Jamie’s eyes. “You looked--don’t laugh.”

“No promises,” Jamie says, but with the gentle tone of one who knows exactly how much to tease before it’ll hurt. The idea warms Dani in a way she’s not quite ready to look at yet.

“You looked real,” Dani says. “Like you weren’t going to play games, or waste anyone’s time. Like you just wanted to be happy in peace.”

“That is,” Jamie says, holding out a fry for Dani to take, “sort of the idea, yeah.”

There’s an almost puzzled cast to her smile, like she didn’t entirely expect this answer, and is pleased by it at the same time. That same sense from the photo sweeps over Dani now--that this woman is authentic, even if she’s not always shiny, that she’s kind even if not entirely clean. That she doesn’t have any interest in muddled expectation or living a comfortable lie.

“And me?” Dani asks. She doesn’t entirely mean to--but she’s sure, in asking, that Jamie will answer. Jamie is unlike anyone else she’s ever met, the first person she’s ever known to meet each question head-on. 

“Honestly?”

Dani nods. Jamie seems to consider it, turning it over in her head as she twists a fry between her fingers like a cigarette. 

“All of it.”

“That’s,” Dani begins to laugh, “that’s not--”

“No,” Jamie says, and she isn’t smiling, exactly. Her eyes have a sort of shine Dani likes very much, but there is no hint of teasing in them now. “Really. All of it. You’re...very pretty, and that’s--but the way you described yourself. Like you didn’t care to be anyone in particular. You like new experiences, and bad coffee. You hate being called Danielle. I...I wanted to know why.”

“It’s not my name,” Dani says simply. Jamie gives a brief laugh, her hand moving across the table to lightly brush Dani’s fingertips. 

“I wanted to know why all of it. Why do you like bad coffee--”

“It’s the only kind I know how to make,” Dani says automatically. “Just sort of leaned into it.”

“--and teaching--”

“I want to make a difference,” Dani says. 

“--and where you most like to go on those long walks--”

“Anywhere I can breathe,” Dani says. Her fingers are hesitant, tracing the tips of Jamie’s. There’s something electric about this, about barely touching, about barely knowing someone and still wanting to give them neatly-packaged secrets shaped like the mundane. 

Jamie is smiling. “See, that. I like that. All of it.”

It’s nothing, Dani thinks reflexively. A collection of details. A sparse approximation of a life. Eddie knows all of this, and then some, and never matched up to knowing her.

But this woman, leaning across the table with one hand outstretched, looks so different. Watches her with steady interest. Is listening to every word Dani says, though the bar is growing crowded around them, and soon, conversation will become a task instead of a gift.

“Would you,” Dani says, feeling certain that some mistakes are not as bad as they seem, “like to take one of those walks?”

“Tonight?” 

“Yeah. Tonight.” Emboldened by the smile, by the curl falling into Jamie’s eyes, by the knowledge that she still can’t quite make out what color those eyes are, Dani takes her hand. It’s so easy, she thinks she could do it even without looking. “Right now.”

No bullshit, she thinks. No expectations. Just Jamie looking at her like she can’t quite believe what she’s seeing. Dani can’t blame her. This isn’t at all what she’d thought she was getting, walking in tonight. 

But there’s something about it--something about the feeling that she’s been here before, or should be here forever, or will always find her way back to a woman who looks at her just like this--that almost makes her feel brave. Almost makes her feel wonderful. She rises from the table, laying cash beneath her half-empty glass, and feels a pleasant jolt in her chest when Jamie follows without another word.

If this a mistake, she thinks as they step out into the brisk evening air, it’s one she’s hungry to make. 

[stufftippywrote]

perfect

Cicadas sing a sharp song in the trees. The heat blisters the pavement. It’s a miserable summer afternoon for most people, which is why Wei Ying loves it. It’s nothing compared to sticky, swampy Yunmeng summers. In dry heat like this, the sun feels good and the trees are brilliant green and Wei Ying loves being alive.

He doesn’t love being in class, but at least everyone is miserable along with him in this heat. Lots of mopping brows, lots of unsatisfied murmurs. Is there any relief to be found in Gusu on such a day? Some have heard there’s a lake a bit further up in the mountains, big enough for swimming. But they’re not allowed to go up there; it’s off limits to everyone but Lan inner disciples. Only Wei Ying knows for a fact that it’s there; that’s because he’s been sneaking off up there every night since summer school started.

Lan Qiren enters and the room falls silent. The frantic wiping of sweat of brows continues, a current of activity in the quiet classroom. Lan Qiren surveys them silently and frowns. He’s sweating, too.

“Due to the excessive heat,” he says, coughing, “the upper grounds of Cloud Recesses will be opened to students for the duration of the day. That includes the lake. The back hills and the waterfall are still off limits.” Nobody picks up this last bit, because the minute Lan Qiren says “lake,” the room starts to buzz with whispers.

Not even Lan Qiren can quell them; there’s a torrent of nervous energy in this room, and it won’t survive an entire lesson. Sure enough, about twenty minutes before the end of the class students start gathering their things as though they’re ready to bolt. Wei Ying knows they’re only waiting for one of them to take the lead, and they’ll all start filing out with or without Lan Qiren’s say-so. Well, that’s a position he’s always happy to fill. He stretches out, grabs his backpack, and leaves the room without a word or a look back.

He heads up the stone stairs carved into the mountain, backpack slung loosely over one arm, whistling to himself. The other students will have some time catching up to him; he knows the way to the lake, and they don’t; besides, they have to go change, and Wei Ying always keeps his swimsuit in his backpack, just in case. So he climbs the stairs solo and pushes through the line of vegetation that lies between the path and the lake.

He’s about to emerge from the trees when a splash draws his attention. Quickly, he hides and peers over at the lake.

Someone’s already there and swimming. Wei Ying sees dark hair, pulled into a neat topknot, and the lines of what looks like a fairly strong body, blurred by the moving water. Some student has beat him to it. Which is a little surprising, because Wei Ying’s the only one with the chutzpah to sneak off in this direction when they’re supposed to be somewhere else. He watches in kind of dumb fascination as the swimmer moves to the near edge of the pond and surfaces.

Oh. Oh, that explains it.

It’s Lan Qiren’s annoyingly perfect nephew, Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, who is too good to attend classes with students his own age. Lan Zhan who, rather than making friends with such students, serves as a sort of disciplinarian, regularly snapping unruly students back into line with nothing more than a cold glance from his admittedly perfect face. Lan Zhan, who Wei Ying had to learn to avoid early in the summer, because he kept catching him trying to sneak out or tiptoe into forbidden places. That Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying steels himself to be utterly annoyed by whatever happens next.

Lan Zhan lingers for a time, head and shoulders above water. Then he approaches a large rock where his things sit in a neat white bundle. In one fluid movement, he lifts himself up with both hands on the rock and swings into a sitting position, his toes in the water.

It all happens like slow motion. Wei Ying’s brain sputters, then lurches, then goes completely on the fritz.

He’s—he’s—he’s actually perfect.

Wei Ying knew he was perfect, but that was an annoyance like everything. The beauty of his face was a mockery of everything Wei Ying stands for. He could find words to speak when faced with that stern face, but his words have dried up now, because Lan Zhan’s body is – Lan Zhan’s muscles are –

He has no idea Wei Ying is watching him. His face is serene, his body relaxed, and the sun beats on him like a spotlight, turning the edges of his skin to gold. Wei Ying is gobsmacked. How dare he. How dare he sit there with that expression, not knowing that he’s turning Wei Ying’s insides into molten lava just by being there … with thighs like that .. and a bare chest like a sculpted statue … and good god his arms, and his shoulders, and he already has an annoyingly perfect face, only now it’s matched up with that --- that body, and Wei Ying has never wanted to close his mouth around a drop of water the way he does now, as water trickles down Lan Zhan’s chest.

Oh, and he’s wearing a fucking Speedo.

It’s common knowledge that a Speedo looks stupid on like 95 percent of guys, and yet Lan Zhan looks as though it was created solely to fit him. And nothing is left to the imagination. Holy fuck, that knowledge is going to burn though him until he’s cinders. He struggles to concentrate on something – anything but that.

It’s going to be a very different experience the next time Lan Zhan disciplines him.

Oh. Oh, now his mind is up and running again, but the direction it’s going is dangerous. Lan Zhan angry with him, Lan Zhan throwing him against a wall, Lan Zhan tossing him to the grass. Standing over him. Kneeling over him. Those powerful thighs and well-muscled arms. A hard hand on his wrists, unyielding no matter how much Wei Ying resists. Lan Zhan forcing Wei Ying to his knees. Lan Zhan between Wei Ying’s legs, edging forward, pinning him down as…

“Fuck,” he swears, suddenly and far too loudly. Lan Zhan looks up. Eyes suddenly sharp, he leaps to his feet and scans the tree line. Wei Ying has no choice. He just hopes Lan Zhan doesn’t glance between his legs when he shows himself.

He steps forward from the trees, waving a halfhearted hand. “Hi, Lan Zhan,” he says with a grin. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Lan Zhan’s brows knit. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Oh, but I am!” Wei Ying keeps moving forward, despite his best intentions. Lan Zhan’s body is like a gravity well, drawing him closer. “They lifted the restriction so we could all come up and swim today. It’s brutal out,” he says, squinting and raising against the sun although he’s actually perfectly comfortable.

“Oh.” Lan Zhan looks at him warily. “So others are coming?”

He says it evenly, but Wei Ying wonders if there isn’t some trepidation there. He’s perturbed enough that Wei Ying’s entered his space; what are twenty-some classmates going to do to him? “They’re changing,” he says. “They’ll be here in a few minutes.” He grins. “Just you and me for the time being.”

He thinks the look in Lan Zhan’s eyes is anger, but he doesn’t know for sure. “How do you know this place?” he asks, sounding unsure and not at all like his usual gentlemanly self.

“Oh, your uncle explained how to get here when he gave us the notice this morning,” Wei Ying lies. “I just didn’t have to go back and change like the others, so I got here faster.” He taps his backpack. “Swimsuit’s in here.”

Lan Zhan’s eyes widen. “You’re going to change … here?”

“Why not? Ain’t nobody here but us boys,” Wei Ying says, and winks. He’s suddenly terrified of showing Lan Zhan his naked skin, but he can’t afford to show it. He strips off his T-shirt.

Lan Zhan turns as though offended by the sight. Well, sure he would be, since no one else can measure up to him, Wei Ying thinks. “Hey Lan Zhan, is this what you do while the rest of us are suffering in class?” he asks breezily, stripping off his shorts and boxers. Lan Zhan’s back remains resolutely turned. “Just swimming out here like a fish all day long? I bet I could beat you in a race.”

“There’s not … room here to race,” Lan Zhan says. He still won’t look.

“We’ll go down to Biling Lake next time,” Wei Ying challenges. “You can look at me now. The swimsuit’s on. I won’t offend your sensibilities.”

“I’m not offend—” Lan Zhan turns, and then something clips the edge of his word. He stares at Wei Ying like he’s got three heads.

“Oh, well, glad to hear, then.” Wei Ying sits down on the rock where Lan Zhan had been. “So. Mind if I take a dip?”

The coolness returns to Lan Zhan’s voice. “Suit yourself.” But he’s still staring at Wei Ying.

For just one moment, Wei Ying remembers all those earlier fantasies. That’s exactly the look he imagined on Lan Zhan’s face in those moments. The look where he can’t quite keep his anger in check. The look that says Wei Ying’s getting to him. Wei Ying has no idea how he is gettingto Lan Zhan in this moment, just sitting on a rock. Unless…

Nah, couldn’t be.

The next moment, Lan Zhan’s diving into the water. His body is an arc of movement, a single curved line, and Wei Ying loses his breath again. Apparently he needed to be reminded that Lan Zhan’s body is a flawless machine. His brain is pinging madly and he wants with all his heart to just drop into the water and swim for Lan Zhan like a shark. That would probably be a bad idea. He knows he probably has an advantage in an underwater tussle, but somehow, he doesn’t really want to win anymore.

Lan Zhan has emerged, in a shallow portion of the lake, his head and half his chest visible above the water line. He has eyes on Wei Ying. “Well?” he asks, something curiously hesitant in his voice.

“Well, what?” Wei Ying feels like he should be holding his breath. He’s careful to keep his voice casual.

Lan Zhan looks down, then to the side, then to him again. It’s a very un-Lan-like action. After a short silence, he ventures in what is almost – not quite -- a tentative voice, “Are you coming in?”

Wei Ying stares down at him. The silence that follows is pregnant with possibility.

“Wei-xiong!”

Nie Huaisang bursts first through the treeline, then, following him, the rest of the students in noisy gaggles. “Wei-xiong, how did you find this place so quickly? We all got turned around looking for it—”

Splashes sound here and there as the students find their way into the lake. Soon, the whole place is echoing with the sound of laughter and chatter. Wei Ying’s gaze finds Lan Zhan, through an increasingly dense thicket of people. Lan Zhan is looking at him with eyes that are almost sad. A moment later, he turns away.

It’s disappointing. Wei Ying had thought – perhaps imagined? – that there was something starting to happen there, something thawing in the relationship between them. He considers giving chase. But Lan Zhan is striding through the trees and disappearing before he can say a thing. So much for that.

Still, Wei Ying has an image he didn’t have before. Lan Zhan, dipped in gold, his body bare and his chin uplifted toward the sun. It’s printed in indelible ink on his mind now, along with a memory of Lan Zhan’s gaze, softer perhaps than Wei Ying has ever seen it. He closes his eyes and savors both the picture and the memory for a moment. Then, grinning, he rejoins his friends.

[mego42]

happy wednesday, have some (twisted, not nice, mutually on drugs without meaning to be so decide for yourselves how you feel about that level of consent) porn

--

"You know what they say, darlin'," Rio drawls from above her, but she can hear the strain in it, and she smiles against his skin. "Keep your enemies close."

"Mmmm." Beth hums thoughtfully, agreeing but also not, as she dips her tongue in his belly button, dragging it slowly around the edge. "They do, but I don't think that's what this is. At least"—she pauses, looking up at him—"not all of it."

She barely knows what she's saying, where the words are coming from. It feels like something dawning, an idea only just cresting the horizon of her mind, illuminating each word of it as she speaks them.

He reaches for her, tucking her hair behind her ear and then dragging his thumb along her cheekbone, over her lips, tugging the lower one down.

"Yeah? What is it, then?"

Beth opens her mouth, and he slips his thumb inside, resting heavily on her tongue. Her cheeks hollow as she closes her lips around him and sucks, letting her teeth scrape along his knuckle as she pulls her head back. 

She definitely feels him twitch this time, feels herself pulse in response. 

"What's that you're always telling me? About rotten eggs?" 

She sits back on her heels, her hands resting lightly on his knees. He slouches down, draping his arms over the sides of the chair. The pose is casual, but she can see something watchful's crept into his eyes.

"Gotta take care of them, right? Except..."  

With one hand, she walks her fingers up his thigh, leaning over and resting her head on the other and looking up at him. 

"I've lied to you. Cheated you." 

God, this is stupid; this is so stupid. There's a part of her screaming for her to stop, to shut up. It's the part that's been running round and round and round in circles for so long, so consumed by fear it's all become a numbing blanket of white noise she hasn't known how to crawl out from underneath. 

But it sounds so small and far away when he's looking at her like that, his brow a straight, heavy line. His eyes hooded but fixed on her, on her knees in front of him, like she's something fascinating and terrible. Powerful. A force to be reckoned with. 

It's like seeing a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel, and she couldn't stop herself from clawing her way towards it even if she wanted to. 

Beth pets his cock, twisting her wrist and cupping his balls. His hips buck, and she smiles up at him. 

"I've stolen from you." She rolls her head, pressing her lips to his thigh, then parts them, sweeping her tongue over his skin before biting down lightly. "Twice."

"Three times." 

His voice is like gravel, and Beth's never been immune to it, but hearing it now—correcting her about this, like this—is something else. It's like he's inside her, rolling through her, touching her everywhere at once. She squirms, pressing her legs together, darting a glance up at him to assess whether or not she should keep going. 

He's looking down at her, lip caught between his teeth, his brow furrowed like he's torn. 

Beth pulls her hand back, and one of his comes round, clasping it, holding it in place on her thigh, keeping her from pulling further away. It happens whip-fast, a motion driven by instinct. 

She raises an eyebrow at him in question, and when he nods once, slow and shallow, she pulls her hand out from under his, leaning back in, pressing a kiss to his knuckles before nosing at his cock, still only halfway to hard but getting there impressively fast. 

"I've set you up with the feds." She licks along the length of him, flicking her tongue over the tip, and he makes a quiet, groaning noise, his hand coming up and resting heavy on her shoulder. "I've shot you."

She sweeps her fingers along the underside and squeezing lightly, then taps his head against her lips, holding him there as she continues.

"I hired someone to take you out. I used your money to do it, then sent you to clean it up."

The noise he makes is indescribable, and when he pulses against her palm, growing harder at her words, the heat simmering inside her erupts into a full boil, fresh arousal dripping out of her, coating her thighs. 

It's bad, it's wrong, it's twisted and messed—no, fucked up. She shouldn't feel like this. He shouldn't feel like this. But at this moment, her head spinning with want for him, nearly as high on the power she holds over him as the drugs swimming through her system, it's hard to care. 

"I'm working with the secret service. I wore—"

Beth falters. 

Rio lets go of her shoulder, tangling his hand in her hair and pulling, yanking her head back, so she's looking at him full on. 

"Say it," he commands.

The low light from the lamps scattered throughout the room stripes dusky shadows and burnished highlights across him. The contrast, combined with the intensity of the way he's looking down at her, sends a shiver up her spine. It's that same tangled thread of fear and want from moments ago with his hand around her throat.

Who is she—what is she—that she can look at him and feel this way and not want it to stop?

"Say it, Elizabeth."

Beth sucks in a breath, clenching down hard on nothing as everything inside her tightens in response to his tone, his look, his name for her.

"I wore a wire to your grandma's house."

The sound he makes is soft. Satisfied. Knowing. 

"What else?"

"I hid it on her bookshelf."

Nothing about him suggests surprise, and Beth wonders if he knew at the time or found out later.

"What else?" 

Rio shakes her head by her hair, pain sparking along the roots and follicles, and she feels it in every cell of her body, lighting her up like a circuit board. 

"I let you touch me so you wouldn't find it."

He smiles at that, but it's not a nice smile. It's predatory and cruel, a lion who's cornered his prey. 

"Yeah? That all?" 

Beth jerks forward, his cock—fully hard now—knocking against the arched and exposed line of her throat. He loosens his grip enough that she can dip her head, flattening her tongue against the vein on the underside, smiling as he grunts. She lets spit gather in her mouth and dribble out, then makes a ring with her fingers and spreads it down the length of him, twisting her wrist to accommodate his girth. 

"No?" he croons, and when she looks up at him through her lashes, his head's tipped to the side, and he's pouting down at her, mockingly confused. "You didn't want nothin' else?"

She bobs her head, taking more of him into her mouth, stopping just shy of the back of her throat, swirling her tongue around him. 

"See, I think you wanted exactly what you got; you just don't want to admit it." His hand in her hair tightens again, not quite taking control of her motion but enough that she can't ignore the fact that he could with little effort. "That's the thing 'bout you. All the shit you do, all the wants you got inside you, you like to pretend they ain't there. That no one can see 'em."

Beth lifts her head, pushing back against his hand. She lets her teeth scrape ever so lightly along him, relishing the way his breath catches.

"But that's the thing, baby. I see 'em."

Her pulse spikes.

"And underneath all of your bullshit, you do too."

She releases his cock with a wet pop, licking her lips, chasing the taste of him as she looks up, meeting his eyes.

"I see you too," she says. "I see the way you look at me. I see the way you want me, in spite of everything. I'm your rotten egg, and you don't care." 

[elencelebrindal]

Saw the passive abilities question, so now we have to ask: what passives would all the golds have?

I am SO sorry this took me so long to answer, but here I go!

Of course, I went the "creature the zodiac sign is linked to" way.

Aries:

You know how rams headbutt each other to assert dominance? The Aries Saint has the ability to headbutt people without gaining brain damage as a result. Well, jokes aside, rams can charge at incredible speed before attacking and have considerable endurance, so maybe the latter is what I can give the Aries Saint as an innate ability? Fights between rams can last for hours, so I bet the Aries Saint can keep fighting for much longer than a Saint normally can.

Taurus:

Rather than an ability, I would say the Taurus Saint has a tendency of being red-green colorblind, as bulls generally have dichromacy. In addition to that, I'd say the Taurus Saint is always the strongest, at least on a physical level, because bulls have incredible strength.

Gemini:

Well, I don't know? The gemini zodiac sign literally represents twins, so... I have no idea what kind of ability I could give the Gemini Saint, aside from an innate capability of bickering with their twin.

...

Okay, I'm done joking. Gemini represents Castor and Pollux, the Dioscuri, who are known for being excellent hunters and horsemen. With this in mind, I'd say the innate ability of the Gemini Saint is exactly that: riding and hunting. And this Saint can hunt anything.

Cancer:

... I thought I had no idea of what do write here, because, well, the constellation is literally just the crab that bit Hercules while he was fighting the Hydra. There's nothing associated with it, save for this fact, and that it was placed among the stars by Hera. But then I remembered that I'm supposed to take into account the animal itself as well, and crabs? They can themselves so well you can't notice them even if you walk right past their hiding spot. So this is what the Cancer Saint's ability. Hiding. Which, if you ask me, is an extremely useful ability, no matter how proud the Gold Saints are.

Leo:

I wanted to say "the Leo Saint has the ability to run after a laser pointer" so bad, but then I remembered that one video I watched of lions being completely uncaring of laser pointers so... guess the joke died before existing. Anyway, the Leo Saint is probably known for ability to deliver short but powerful attacks, just like real lions. They don't have much in terms of stamina - remember, we're still in the superhuman category here - but they are powerful by default. Also, using the Nemean lion to my advantage, I'll say the Leo Saint can't be wounded easily. Just for a silly comparison: if another Saint lands face-first into the ground, there's going to be blood right away; is a Leo Saint lands face-first into the ground, there's still going to be blood right away, but only because Leo would kick in the teeth whoever slammed him on the floor. Basically, it takes effort to draw blood from a Leo Saint.

Also, a Leo Saint that's also a woman has a more refined hunting instinct, because I watched way too many documentaries in my life and I know that a lioness does 99% of the hunting work and it's better at it.

Virgo:

Does the ability of never getting laid count?

This one is tricky, because Virgo represents Astrea, the celestial virgin and goddess of innocence, purity, and precision. Since these don't really qualify as abilities, I looked into her mythology and remembered that she's closely associated with Earth. Because of this, I believe the Virgo Saint's ability is to communicate on a deep, spiritual level with the essence of Earth and its creatures. Which is not too far from what's actually depicted in canon, after all.

Libra:

The Libra Saint can always find the perfect balance. Doesn't matter if it's physical or metaphorical, Thanos would die of envy for how perfectly balanced everything is for this Saint. Aside from this, which is more of a practical ability, the Libra Saint has also the amazing capability of being always able to find loopholes in laws (Libra represents justice and law, so... yeah), and can always know if someone is innocent or guilty.

Scorpio:

Oh, here I go, let me butcher my sign completely. My first thought was that the Scorpio Saint is actually venomous (god, I hope I used the right word, we only have ONE in Italian for poisonous and venomous). Not like a certain Pisces Saint we know and love, of course. Just like with Taurus, it's a characteristic and not a passive ability, but I do have something else as well.

And that something else is an ability to survive even in the worst, most dire conditions. Scorpions, unless you straight up crush them under your foot, are extremely difficult to kill. They have a tremendous immune system, they literally don't drown, they can slow down their metabolism when there's no food around, you can freeze them completely and they'll just walk away once thawed, and they can live in harsh climates with no issues. In light of this, the Scorpio Saint is extremely difficult to kill, and can resist most life-threatening conditions with ease. I'd say is a good passive ability to have, for sure.

Sagittarius:

It goes by itself that the Sagittarius Saint has the innate ability to be absolutely amazing with bow and arrow, but another passive ability they have is horse riding. Lastly, since the constellation actually represents Chiron, the Sagittarius Saint is an excellent mentor and teacher, better than anyone else.

Capricorn:

Goats can climb near vertical surfaces, and so can the saint of this constellation. It's a really useful ability, especially when it comes to stealthy missions and the like. Alongside this, the Capricorn Saint is probably a really good swimmer, since the constellation is half goat and half fish, although not as good as the Pisces Saint.

Aquarius:

Oh, here we have some troubles. The Aquarius constellation represents Ganymede, Zeus' freaking cup-bearer. He's a hero, yes, but he's known for having enchanted Zeus enough to gain a place in the Olympus as an immortal. What does this leave me with? A Saint that has the air association of the sign, the water association of the constellation, and the fascinating beauty of the myth.

Let's just say that the Aquarius Saint has the perfect mastery over ice (which is canon) because air and water? Come on, it's the only thing I cant think about. That's the passive ability, an insane control over water and air that translate in mastery of all ice things. Plus the ability to enchant even the gods, because the Pisces Saint is not the only enticing person of the Sanctuary.

Pisces:

I'd say the passive ability of the Pisces Saint is swimming like a mermaid, aka quickly, efficiently, and without needing as much rest as a normal human. Some powerful Saints can also find themselves able to breathe underwater, but it's a rather rare ability that doesn't show up often, and not many are willing to try breathing underwater just to make sure.

And that's it, since the other somewhat passive ability I love to give every single Pisces Saint (and not only the canon ones) is venomous blood and plant toxins immunity.

I don't know if I nailed or failed this answer. I'm mostly going off of stuff I know out of the top of my head, because I'm a sucker for nature documentaries and documentaries in general, so there might be some stupid things sprinkled here and there.

Doesn't matter.

Once again, sorry for taking so long, and thank you for the interesting ask!

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

to make this horrible day a bit better I'm once again bringing grima topic. could you please tell us more about his magical abilities? boundaries of the possible, strange/creepy/interesting things?

ahhh I mean, having a day off is great - I'm super burnt out and a three day weekend on the government's dime is perfect. It's just you know, it's technically in celebration of Queen Victoria and like... can we just move it to a different day in May and make it a civic holiday or something? Rename it "summer is almost here, go forth and frolic in parks day" or something?

I just don't like hyping up Canada's colonialism and Victoria Day is one of those days. I think we should have a May holiday, but let's just keep it generic and less "woooo yay fireworks for Queen Vicky"

-

Oh man Grima's magic!

So in canon, it's implied that it exists - more so in the books than the movies. And what is alluded to is very, very traditional Norse (and some Anglo-Saxon) seiðr style stuff where words are powerful and Grima used them, plus potions and poisons, to confuse and befuddle Theoden. Which is so very seiðr in its nature.

And that's stuff only women did. So Grima, in canon, was doing women's magic (or you know, women's magic within our world). And a man doing seiðr is argr, that is, effeminate and you know, a dirty fag or whatever.

Something I find absolutely fascinating! because what is gender? A fool's game.

And, I think it's safe to argue that seiðr was absolutely a practice that occupied the border and liminal spaces of society's mores and practices. Which amplifies Grima's own marginality within Rohan.

(I have a lot of feelings on how Grima is positioned with regards to gender.)

-

For Swimming Through Fire I have it that he can do quite a bit of the seiðr stuff mixed with dashes of trollcraeft and galdorcraeft.

Therefore, in my world, Grima's abilities are as follows:

Can bend a person's will to his own (think Theoden)

Manipulate a person by causing madness, forgetfulness or by making illusions and the person falls for them (really an extension of the first bullet)

General knowledge of potions and poisons (we've only seen one fleeting glimpse of that in My Land is Bare, not much since then)

Channeling the dead and other sundry spirits

Make fire - he's lit candles and started flames with just touch. But that's it. There's no ability to summon like fire tornadoes or anything

Make things grow faster and bigger than normal - this was amplified by the presence of the old god in Helm's Deep. What happened there with the roots is not the norm for Grima. Mostly, he can speed up the growth of small batches of crops. But they taste a little funky.

Can change the weather and cause avalanches through weird trance stuff (possible done on top of a barrow). He doesn't know this is something he can do, as a note.

Recovering lost portions of a person's soul/mind - though like the weather changing skill, it's not something he's aware of.

He's no Gandalf, is what I'm saying.

Most of Grima's stuff is psychological and language focused. (Anglo-Saxon and early medieval Scandinavians had it that words were magic in themselves - you tell a man long enough that he is too old to rule, he will become that very thing etc.)

And for the language focused stuff, like with Theoden, it requires the person to already have their own issues to play off of. Grima taps into pre-existing issues and just amplifies them and makes them real in a way that they may not have been before. But it's a skill that doesn't work on everyone - like it works on Theoden, but it wouldn't on Eomer, it does on Eowyn but not Faramir, it would on Boromir but not Aragorn etc.

Denethor: Get your stupid greasy fingers out of my head.

Grima: How's your relationship with your father?

Denethor: gtfo.

Grima: Have you thought about the fact that you're perpetuating the same trauma he gave you onto your sons?

Denethor: o u t.

/Grima skidaddles down the hallway/

Grima also can do some rune-work but that's all pretty typical protective magic in its nature. Stick a rune on a mead horn and if it's poisoned it won't hurt you kind of thing (this shows up in the eddas and sagas a lot).

His main issue is that no one has sat down with him to figure out what skills were bestowed upon him and then taught him how to use them without utterly fucking up his body (namely his spine. That man's poor fucking back, it's a disaster area).

Grima's had the bad luck that those who are aware of his Skillset use him like a AA battery to amplify their own stuff - his mother, Saruman, the Old God (We Need A Name For Him Christ's Blood I say as the author).

-

For the trilogy we will see one or two more things from him, but the spooky possibilities that his powers hold are really untapped. One day there will be follow up where Eomer and him have to deal with some spooks and more of his range will come out and Eomer will be like PUT HIM IN AN IRON BOX WITH KOSHER SALT. I DON'T TRUST THIS.

Grima: . . . my magic doesn't work on you.

Eomer: DON'T TRUST THIS.

-

Thank you so much for the ask!! 💜💜 I love our spooky snake boy and his stupid magic.

[nohoney]

I Just Want It To Be Us - 1.2

warnings: 18+, drug use, toxic relationships, cheating, angst

summary: 

He kisses you back, pulling you closer against his body and groaning as you swipe your tongue against his and gently bite his bottom lip. The only person you’ve kissed while rolling was Dabi and while he can be tender if he felt like it, there’s no way that it could match Keigo’s softness in this moment.

You’re caught up in the kiss, you’ve reached the peak and you think about taking another quarter to continue the roll.

1.1 ✧ 1.2 ✧ 1.3

You’re pretty much with Keigo the entire time, he sticks by your side and tries to distract you the best he can whenever you see Dabi put his arms around another girl and conducting his business. He subtly passes contraband either into their low cut shirts as he leans over to whisper in their ear or stick it in the back pocket of their pants and giving them a not so subtle pat. And when you watch Dabi lead the girls to a different part of the house, Keigo’s quick to try to take the edge off.

There was plenty of male customers Dabi sold to but the fucking girls…

Keigo tried to offer you weed but you bitterly declined it, it was just going to make you angry and sleepy. He offered shots and it helped a little but then you started hitting it too hard so he had to stop you. In a hidden corner of the house and with the little mirror in your purse, Keigo cuts lines of cocaine for you and him to partake together.

You inhale your line and press the tip of your finger into the stray powders, wiping it onto your gums and can already feel your mouth numbing.

Dabi’s shit is good, this is the closest you can be to him right now while he’s busy.

Keigo does his own line and gums the cocaine too. “You want another, dove?” he asks, tacking on the cute little pet name he’s called you since you first met him.

Thank goodness he doesn’t feen, another reason why Dabi is friends with him.

You shake your head and put your gram away for now, just barely halfway through it. You don’t want to freak out every single time you see your boyfriend interact with a girl. It’s not like every single one he’s interacted with he’s fucking them, most of them he just does his sale and moves onto the next. But when you happen to see him walk away with his arm around their waist, you flare up all over again; it’s one thing to know it, it’s another thing to see it in person.

That’s the third one you’ve seen Dabi walk away with.

“Never mind, make me another.”

It’s a command this time rather than asking him and that’s when Keigo knows that you need to take it easy. “You know what, let’s wait for a little.” he suggests to you and you know he’s right but you’re so frustrated that it feels like more cocaine is the only way to help ease you. Then you think about the little pink tablet that Dabi also gave you, Keigo knows you have it but you haven’t mentioned taking it at all.

You’re not sure if Keigo would be okay with letting you mix in the condition you are now, especially since you’ve never done it before.

So you ask him to get you a bottle of water and he tells you to stay put while he goes to the garage to fetch you a new one. You really will need it, ecstasy makes you dehydrated so it was better that you have the water on hand. You quarter the tablet and swallow it dry, the taste a little gross but Keigo returns just in time with the bottle and you take a big gulp. The rest of the tablet is put into the pocket of your pants, just in case you need to prolong the roll.

It’s close to one in the morning, still early for the party and the energy hasn’t dipped yet. But while the party hasn’t plateaued yet, you feel yourself level out, you’re no longer tense. The cocaine keeps you awake but the quarter of ecstasy is keeping you at ease. At first Keigo thinks that you finally relaxed and he’s happy about it at first. Then he sees how handsy you’re getting, touching people’s elbows or shoving your palm into the softest pillows on the couch, how you press yourself against his side and run your hand through his blond hair. He takes a good look at your eyes and it clicks in his head.

“When the hell did you take ecstasy? I’ve been with you the entire time.” he asks, not upset at you but just curious how you were able to sneak it past him.

“When I asked you for the first bottle of water. I took a quarter, still have the rest with me.” you answer him honestly. You pull out your compact mirror from your bag and look at your eyes, your pupils blown and you’re so fascinated by the sight that you almost forget where you are until he pats your shoulder. “Mad at me?” you ask cutely, pouting and batting your lashes at him.

Keigo shakes his head and leans forward to kiss your forehead. “Nah, you should have just told me that way I knew I had to tripsit.”

You watch as he pulls out his own tablet and breaks his in half, popping it in his mouth and chasing it with a swig of water. “When did you start feeling it?”

“Maybe like twenty-sh minutes ago, I haven’t peaked yet. I was thinking of taking another quarter later on.”

“Let me know and I’ll take my other half.”

For the first time since coming to the party you’re finally relaxed, sitting on Keigo’s lap while your hands wander up his body. You touch his arms, poke at his chest, pet his hair and rub at his back, every once in a while you lean down to kiss his cheek. In return he’s just as affectionate, he keeps you comfortable in his lap, making sure you drink water, reminds you to unclench your jaw and feeds you sticks of gum, massages your head and back, and keeps watch when you take a pee break you didn’t even know that you needed. It feels good to have Keigo with you, taking care of you, keeping your mind occupied and making you feel like a princess. But it starts to get hot inside the house so you hold his hand as you walk out to the backyard to get some fresh air.

There’s a pool in the back, a few of the party goers swimming in it and it looks inviting. Keigo keeps you to his side with his arm around your waist, tucked tight against his body and secure. He feels good, he makes you feel safe, you love having him around you but you miss Dabi. You haven’t seen him since walking through the doors, giving you a lingering kiss before walking off.

“Where’s Dabi? I want Dabi.” you whine into Keigo’s neck but also fan your face with your free hand.

He rubs your back and tells you to stay where you are so that he can go fetch Dabi.

You lean against the wall, eyes forward as you watch the dips of water inside the pool. You know you should stay put like Keigo told you to but it’s hot and you know that the pool water is cold. He’s gone back inside to fetch Dabi, Dabi who’s probably still busy, probably busy giving his dick to another girl and he hasn’t checked up on you once since arriving to the party…

Your body flares up, feeling warm all over again and you start peeling off your clothes. You toe off your shoes and stuff your socks inside them, you drop your purse right next to your shoes and shimmy out of your pants. The nearby partygoers whistle as you strip but you hardly pay any attention to them. Your shirt joins your heap of clothes on the floor and you walk towards the pool, reaching behind you to undo the clasp of your bra because the stupid underwire is bothering you. And just right when it gets unhooked…

“Hey whoa! Let’s get you dressed dove, yeah? Can’t have you just showing off your goodies, not everyone here is a friend you know…” Keigo clasps your bra for you and gently pulls you by your wrist. “Come on, I told Dabi to meet us out here. He’ll be out in a moment alright? Come on, let’s be a good girl and get your pants on first.”

It’s quite the sight for the people around at the pool to watch Keigo help put your clothes back on, some of them booing at him. He pays them no mind and holds your pants steady as you try to stick your legs into the pant legs, holding onto his shoulders for support. You button yourself up and lean against the wall, touching your neck with the back of your hand and feeling how warm you are. Keigo is knelt down by your feet and helping you get your shoes on, telling you that you’re fine and Dabi is coming out soon. He’s talking but you’re not paying much attention, shutting your eyes and just wanting to go stick your head in a freezer.

Keigo is holding up your shirt, telling you to raise your arms so that he can slip it on you. Instead he catches you as you lean forward and fall into his arms, his warmth both a comfort but also suffocating with how hot you feel at the moment. You look up into his eyes, finding his pupils just as wide and dilated as yours; he’s so composed for someone also on ecstasy though to be fair he has much more experience than you. “Hey pretty thing.” he coos to you, his hands squeezing your waist.

“You’re so good Keigo… I love you so much.” you tell him, a rush of tenderness suddenly pouring out. He’s taken care of you this entire time, he always looks out for you whenever the two of you are together and you always have such a good time with him. You’ve always thought he was so handsome and charming, any person would be lucky to be snagged by him. “I’m so glad that we met Keigo, I’m so happy you’re in my life.”

He smiles down at you and kisses your forehead. “I’m glad we met too (Name).”

You put a hand on the back of Keigo’s head and push him down to meet you in a kiss, somewhat surprised that he’s not fighting it. In fact he’s rather enthusiastic and there’s no complaints from you. He kisses you back, pulling you closer against his body and groaning as you swipe your tongue against his and gently bite his bottom lip. The only person you’ve kissed while rolling was Dabi and while he can be tender if he felt like it, there’s no way that it could match Keigo’s softness in this moment.

You’re caught up in the kiss, you’ve reached the peak and you think about taking another quarter to continue the roll.

The kiss with Keigo begins to feel a bit different, his lips aren’t as soft, his hands dropping to your ass and roughly squeezing you like the way Dabi does, you reach up to run a hand through his blond hair but the texture feels different, feels a little drier compared to before, it kind of feels like…

You pull back to realize that you’re kissing Dabi.

“Fuck.” you simply say, your face warming up once again. You really hadn’t noticed that apparently Keigo had deposited you towards Dabi once he arrived, switching you over to him mid-kiss. You touch your bottom lip with the tips of your fingers and look up at your boyfriend, the first time you’ve seen him since arriving at the party. “You need chapstick.”

Dabi chuckles out a ‘sorry’, not bothered at all that you were kissing his closest friend. He asks Keigo for your shirt and he’s instructing you to raise your arms to help you put your shirt on. You do as told and adjust it, pulling at the hem of your shirt and fixing your appearance. You feel happy to see him at first, wanting to smother him in kisses and be in his embrace, but your eyes look up to Dabi and catch sight of a mark on his neck. Reaching up, you hope that it’s smeared lipstick but that it turns out to be a hickey.

Your high is ruined.

Dabi touches the spot where your fingers were and growls quietly, “Fucking bitch, I told that cunt not to leave any marks.”

“I haven’t seen you since we got here Dabi. It couldn’t kill you to at least stop by and see me. Are you that busy?” you ask him rather curtly. Inside you feel angry but the ecstasy is preventing you from showing it fully.

Resentment and jealousy, you were sure such emotions would be coming out in full force if you were sober.

“Don’t be like that doll, you know I put you in good hands. Keigo was taking care of you the entire time, you knew that I was going to be busy when you came here with me. So don’t act like a fucking brat, I don’t need to give you attention 24/7 (Name).” Dabi bites out, his brows furrowing in irritation; he doesn’t want to have this talk. “Don’t act so clingy, it’s not a good look for you.”

You scoff at Dabi and cross your arms over your chest. “I’m not asking for attention 24/7 Dabi. I’m just saying it would have been nice to come see your girlfriend in between your whores.”

“Fucking Christ, this shit again? I already told you that you’re most important to me, they don’t mean fucking anything to me.”

“Well right now I don’t feel like I mean anything to you, like you don’t fucking care about me.”

Dabi grabs you by your bicep and pulls you close, turquoise eyes glaring down at you and his nostrils flared. “How many times have we gone over this? I’m getting sick and tired of you acting like a brat every time this comes up, I keep having to reassure you but you don’t want to believe me. And if that’s going to be the case then let’s make those words of yours come true.”

His words hit you…

Did he just break up with you?

Keigo gets in between the two of you, separating Dabi’s hand from your arm and trying to reason with his friend. You don’t hear anything Keigo is saying in your defense and trying to have Dabi understand your perspective at least a little bit. You’re grabbing your purse from off the ground and head back inside the house, it’s disgustingly warm with all the bodies indoors but you don’t want to breathe same air as Dabi right now. You snatch a bottle off the liquor table and make your way into the house, trying to find an empty room.

A couple is leaving one so you’re quick to take up vacancy and lock the door behind you. Dropping to the floor, you pull the cap off whatever bottle you grabbed and tip it towards your lips. It’s whiskey, you fucking hate whiskey but you’re not about to go back out there just to swap to a different alcohol. Anything will do to numb out what just happened between you and Dabi.

You haven’t been dating long, you said so yourself that you’re not sure if he’s someone you can be together for the long-term yet it hurt so much that he was just so ready to drop you. Didn’t he get why you were upset? Yeah maybe you could try to be less jealous whenever he goes out to his female customers, but didn’t he get that all you wanted was just for him to check up on you? Make you feel like you’re his girlfriend before going back to shagging his whores? Was it too much to ask?

You reach into your pocket and pull out the two little baggies; one with the half gram of coke left and the rest of the ecstasy tablet.

Your peak is fucking ruined and it’s all Dabi’s fault.

The whiskey is disgusting, the burn down your throat is unpleasant, it’s not helping but you take another shot of it regardless.

“Fucking hell…” you groan to yourself, “Dabi, Dabi, Dabi! Fuck you Dabi!”

You look between the cocaine and the ecstasy.

The cocaine looks inviting but you know it will just send you on edge. But the burn in your nostril when you snort a line will give you a satisfaction that no other drug could give you. It will keep you awake, keep your mind going, maybe you need to stay up to really think about your relationship with Dabi. With your peak reached but in ruins, the cocaine might just run you raggedy…

You want to feel good again though and just feel everything soft against your skin and forget about the fight. You want to be held, to be kissed, to be touched and you want to feel safe. But the vibe is ruined, even if you take the ecstasy there’s no stimulus to help you feel better, your emotions are all over the place. You’ll still stew in your own thoughts over the fight and despair all by your lonesome. All you’ll be doing is just clenching your jaw in this room and-

You slap yourself in the face, trying to remember to unclench your jaw otherwise your gums will get sore and your teeth will ache. There’s no gum to keep your mouth busy and no water to keep you hydrated. The room you’re in doesn’t have an en suite so you can’t even drink from a fucking faucet.

You want to feel good, you want to feel happy, you want to be angry, you want to sit in your own misery. You want to sleep but you have to stay awake and ride out the rest of the roll otherwise you’ll feel horrible, the come down will be even worse when you try to sleep it off. If you stay awake though, you know you’ll just end up frying your nerves.

No matter what, all your options are shit so you decide, “Fuck it.”

You prep two lines and snort them both, a nostril each, then you take a big quarter of the tablet and wash it down with the whiskey. You’ll deal with the consequences of mixing later on, nothing feels right and everything is shit.

It’s too fucking hot and you strip off your clothes once again.

That couple from before probably fucked on the bed but you can’t being yourself to care. You crawl under the blankets and go into a fetal position, it’s the safest you feel right now. You can hear your phone ringing but you don’t bother to answer it. It’s so hot but you don’t want to leave the safety of the blanket, you’re thirsty as hell but there’s no water to quench your thirst, your jaw hurts from clenching but you don’t have anything to relieve it, you feel paranoid, you feel alone, you feel-

“Christ, she’s still here in the house! I found her in one of the rooms, I had to bust it open though to get in.” you hear Keigo as he pulls the blanket off of you. He sees that you’re naked beneath the blanket and covers you back up immediately, leaving your head peaked out. You can only hear Keigo so you assume that Dabi isn’t with him, probably on the phone somewhere else. “(Name), what did you do?”

“Whiskey, two lines, another quarter.” you answer, you don’t sound like yourself right now. Your eyes feel exhausted yet your body is wired, it won’t let you fall asleep.

Keigo’s hand goes to your forehead and he pats your shoulder as he speaks into his phone. “She did two lines and took another quarter of the ecstasy, she drank a little bit too. She’s burning up.”

Keigo is rubbing your shoulder in comfort, cooing into your ear and telling you to get up. He says he’s going to take you away from the party, trying to pull you up from the bed to get you dressed but you keep shaking him off. You don’t cooperate with him, you don’t want to be taken care of, you want to be alone and miserable. You press your face into a pillow and wail into it, hot tears soaking the fabric and your head starting to ache.

Something cold presses to the back of your neck.

You hiccup into the pillow and turn your head to peak one eye out.

It’s Dabi holding a bottle of water in his hand, his face set in a frown but he looks worried. He’s the last person you want to see so you turn your face back into the pillow and sniffle into it. You hear Keigo and Dabi talking to each other, you don’t bother to pay attention to their words.

“Get up (Name).” Keigo gently tells you, his hands on your shoulders and trying to pry you off the bed. He’s pleading with you, telling you that he just want to take care of you and make sure that you’re safe. The more he speaks those sweet words, the more you begin to cooperate, slowly sitting up in the bed. You know that Dabi is in the room with you but you pay him no attention, Keigo being the one to tend to you. You’re sniffling as Keigo helps you dress back in your clothes, all the while telling you how good you are and reassuring you that you’re going to be fine, he gives you little kisses to help calm your nerves.

Dabi approaches you while Keigo steps back.

You whine for Keigo, looking to him with pleading eyes as he backs away and out of the room.

“You’ll be fine dove, Dabi has something he needs to say to you.” he tells you, sending you a reassuring smile before stepping out the room.

You sit on the edge of the bed, hands clasped in your lap and looking down at your feet. Dabi kneels in front of you, holding out the bottle of water to you. You hesitantly take it and press the cold plastic to your neck. Twisting the cap off, you take several gulps of water and feel a little bit better.

His large hand goes to your knee, his fingers squeezing slightly. “I should have checked up on you, just like you said.”

You look up at Dabi, his own jaw clenched in what appears to be shame. You’d never seen him look so indignant before but he continues on. “I’m just used to operating on my own when I go to these things, never having to check in with anyone. I thought that if Keigo was here to take care of you then it would be good enough. I was wrong babydoll.”

Ah babydoll, Dabi’s only said that a handful of times and it was only when you were extremely angry with him and he was trying to make up with you.

“(Name), you’re most important to me. I mean it when I say that none of the others mean anything to me, they're nothing.” he tells you once again with more conviction that you've ever heard him speak with. But you shrug your shoulders, it just hurts that you can’t have all of him. You’re his favorite he says, they mean nothing to him he says. You question why you’re hurting so much over this one guy. The relationship is still new enough that you can pull out before things get too serious, before you get too invested and get yourself hurt even more.

You sigh and your shoulders deflate, you’re emotionally exhausted and you just want it to end. “Look Dabi-” you start but he interrupts you.

“Touya.”

“What?” you ask, looking up into turquoise eyes.

“When we’re alone like this, it’s Touya babydoll.”

“… Okay and?”

Dabi sighs and helps pull you to stand to your feet. “Babydoll, you should feel special. Barely anyone gets to call me Touya outside of my family. It’s a right reserved for the special few, Keigo gets to call me Touya.”

You press your lips into a line, disbelieving. “I’ve never heard him call you Touya ever.”

“Same rule applies doll, only if we’re alone like this you and him get to call me Touya. With everyone else, it’s Dabi.” he explains.

“Okay so? I’m supposed to feel ‘special’ because you’re allowing me to call you by your birth name? That's supposed to be a supplement for trying to make me feel better? That apparently now I'm in your inner circle after all this time together?" you sigh out frustratingly and run a hand through your hair. "Look, I can't deal with this Dabi-”

“Touya.” he corrects.

“Whatever. It still doesn’t change anything, you’re still going to have your side whores, customers, whatever the fuck they are to you. You’re not ever going to completely belong to me, it’s so obvious. I have you but I don’t get all of you!” you tell Dabi, you feel your nerves getting frayed once again and you’re just about ready to collapse on the bed and unravel all over again. But strong hands hold you steady in your place and you’re pulled into a tender kiss that you know you should pull away from. You should push him away, break up with him and move on.

And yet you don't want to break up with him. If any of your friends were in your situation, you'd be telling them to get a different guy, a guy who's not a drug dealer and doesn't have side whores. You would tell them that they'd be stupid to stay in such a relationship with such a glaring red flag. The logic is laid out in your head but you don't listen to it. You wonder if you’re as special as he says you are to him. The best decision would be to drop him but he makes you weak in the way he pulls back from the kiss and whispers against your lips, “Call me Touya doll, call me Touya.”

It’s so fucking intimate the way he says it, you hate how it makes you head over heels for him.

“Dabi.” you try to be stubborn still.

He can just be as stubborn too.

“Touya.” he insists, curling his hand over your throat while his arm goes to your waist to pull you flush against him. He knows you love when he has you by the throat, slowly squeezing and cutting off your airway, gets your heart racing for him and asking him to do it harder. It feels good when you’re sober, feels even better on ecstasy. He insists still, “Touya, I’m Touya.”

It’s not fair as he leans over to kiss you again while he’s choking you, the pressure adding onto your throat and your heart beating in anticipation and desire. It’s making you weaker and weaker for him, you want him to do more to you. There’s a breathless ‘please’ that leaves your lips, he knows what you’re asking for but Dabi won’t give it to you until you give him what he wants. It’s no longer sweet insisting at this point, it’s a hard command. “Touya, say it.”

“Touya…” you finally whisper.

“Good girl.”

[silentprincess0302]

I’ve watched I Told Sunset About You at least 5 times in a row now, but I apparently have no one to rant to and I NEED to rant so bear with me.

First of all can we just appreciate how beautiful the story is? The way it’s portrayed, the way they talk, the location, songs, idk everything is just so poetic. I love how some scenes didn’t need words, and you’d understand it anyway. I love how there are no actual bad guys. The ones they are fighting with are themselves. And everyone has a personality. There’s a story in each and every one of those beautiful, well-written and portrayed characters. I’ll rant about how the story amazes me another time, I just need to focus on the two- Teh and Oh-Aew.

1. Teh

He’s an enigma. Like there’s so much going on with him and sometimes (or most of the times), he doesn’t even understand himself. And there’s so much added to his inner turmoil and identity that just makes me want to try and piece the puzzle but at the same time smother him with a pillow and blanket and yell “PLEASE REST AND BE HAPPY.”

First of all, his family. God, I can’t even start to say how much I relate to him with this. Being compared to hurts like hell. It’s like every thing you do, every step you take, you’d think “Would this be approved? Is this right? Or is this wrong and I’ll be compared again? Will they be proud of me? Will I ever be number 1?” You seek approval for your whole life. First your family, and it will branch out to your whole life. It’s haunting. He solidified his dream to become an actor because his mom was, for once, seemed so proud and excited at the prospect (I’m sure she is proud of him, it’s just that SHOWING it is another story).

And then there’s Oh-Aew. God. The person who shook his entire world. His entire being. If I’m to use Twighlight terms, I’d say he really imprinted on Oh-Aew, and it’s not hard to not see it. There’s a few posts talking about it on Tumblr, and I absolutely agree with them. It’s like, Oh-Aew is really the centre of his world (whether he realises it or not). I know they were kids when they fought, but that person has to be super important to you if it affects you that deeply. They say there’s a thin line between love and hate, and I think this is a good example of it. And to have a strong rivalry meant the love was strong as well- to be able to cross the line.

But “enemies” might be too strong of a word as well. It’s kind of funny, how Teh acts a bit tough and kind of picks a fight with Oh-Aew when what he did the moment he saw Oh-Aew was staring at him again and again. And it’s not even the hate kind of stare. Fascination? Wonder? Curiosity? Longing? Yeah, he talks big with Tarn about their “animosity ” but is it really animosity when he keeps staring, keeps scrolling through this person’s ig, keeps thinking about this person? Who the hell copies someone’s hairstyle if you want to be their enemy? Wouldn’t an enemy want something equally or more amazing, but different? Also he had the audacity to not acknowledge the fact that he was staring at him the whole damn day when Oh-Aew pointed it out. Oh Teh. This is just the tip of the ice-berg.

And when he finally made up with Oh Aew, the dam bursts. He thinks of ways to be close to him again, and not just as friends, but as BEST FRIENDS. He wanted to go “hardcore” immediately and chose his weapon- tutoring. He wanted Oh-Aew with him. He didn’t quite understand why, but he NEEDED Oh-Aew with him. And he wants Oh-Aew to acknowledge it, and see it the same way. He wanted to be special to Oh-Aew too, just like how he is to him. He gets unsettled and upset when he feels like he’s been treated the same as their other friends, and I find this so interesting. He went intense so quick, that I don’t doubt that these intense feelings were there since they were kids. It’s just, at that time, they were kids. As people age, feelings grow into different things, and I guess these their feelings grow to desire, fascination, longing, and love. (Also I squeal every time he admits this. “I don’t like it when ...”)

And his desire grew even more. The more time he spends with Oh-Aew, the more he seems to be wanting to possess him. To see him. To be in his presence. When Oh-Aew’s not there, he’s so unsettled. He touches random things, he paces, tosses around.. He’s lost. But his desire was so apparent. Sometimes, the way he looks at Oh-Aew, it seems like he wanted to devour him whole. This aspect, I feel, clicked when he sniffed his “friend”’s hair so intensely. Damn, the way he sniffed.. You can see the desire. He literally sniffed with his whole body!! Damn. And from there it gets intense and more intense. He’s suddenly aware of it bit by bit. “Coconut, coconut, coconut.” He went home, sniffed the coconut. I use the word sniff and it sounds super cute, but he didn’t do it very cutely haha. Sensual would be more fitting. The scent that he used to hate, is now the scent he seems to yearn as well. Desire by association?

I don’t think he’s stupid, and he’s damn aware that there’s something different he’s feeling about Oh-Aew. He might not understand it at that moment, so he started to play a bit dumb, continue with Tarn, and act “normal”. Is that really normal though, Teh? And Oh-Aew, bless his wit (or else we’ll forever see this static state) made him realize that boy, think different. Think, desire. Think, love. The scene at the beach, the coy atmosphere, was beautiful. I love how Oh-Aew coaxed him gently, and didn’t force him to come to him. To let Teh see him that way. The possibility. And when Teh just came to him, followed him around, desire just radiating in waves, eyes heavy-lidded with it,.. Ah, their relationship shifts yet again. And the scene where he “scratched” his back, Teh was almost lost in it. Almost gave in. Until he touched Oh-Aew’s chest and well damn. He’s a boy. And he slips away.

It’s not that simple, because this wasn’t his plan. He wanted to go to his chosen university, make his mom proud, make his family proud, succeed, have a good career, have a family with Tarn (which his mom apparently will be proud of so, bonus points). And where does Oh-Aew fit in this? Ideally, a friend would be perfect, but they’re not exactly friends, are they? But if he chooses Oh-Aew, what about his plans? His mom? The person who he seeks approval the most. It’s too much.

So he overcompensates with tutoring, the thing that made sense to him. What fits. But it hurts both of them. To Oh-Aew, who wanted Teh’s heart, and Teh, who also wanted Oh-Aew, but is trying to hold himself back and pushes Oh-Aew away, YET try to be close through tutoring. He wants to get away, but he can’t. He mentally, emotionally, and physically can’t. So he made the idioms book, in hopes Oh-Aew would appreciate it, and possibly forgive him (while staying friends?). But why was he lying to himself? The moment he saw Oh-Aew receiving his book, he couldn’t leave. He paced, and he peeked again. And he just can’t win. He’s lost in Oh-Aew’s presence and gaze, and the yearning builds up again, and he wanted to be close, close, close to Oh-Aew. He wanted to inhale his scent, inhale Oh-Aew. When they finally hugged behind the staircase, it’s like, ah, yes. I’m grounded again. (Also can we appreciate the music and cinematography during this scene? BEAUTIFUL). Still in this grounded trance, they went swimming, until oh, he’s pulled down, to a place where no one could see them, no one could judge them. And that’s when he finally let his yearning take over more and kiss him. Finally have him where he actually wanted him, but wasn’t possible due to the reality, the world, people around him. Masterpiece of a scene. Istg.

But of course, everything went straight to hell after. Sure, there were initial blissful moments, and then, when he realized that ah, this is the world again, he took two steps back, and broke Oh-Aew’s heart, and his own. And he knows this. Knows that he actually really damaged them now, and when he was told he couldn’t be friends anymore, it crushed him. How would he be able to live without Oh-Aew? His world. His anchor. So he grasped at things to save his world when he knows Oh-Aew was hurting, and made one desperate, big-scale attempt. Give up his place at university. His dreams. He gave everything to Oh-Aew. He can’t bear to see him suffer and lose his dreams, so he gave up his. I just, I can’t describe it in words.

This was a huge sacrifice. Might be the biggest sacrifice yet. And damn, Oh-Aew didn’t take it? He rejected his efforts, rejected him. The world he was protecting, rejected him (I’ll talk about Oh-Aew later). It hurts. And when he opened the pages of his book, it’s all cut out. He’d already given everything to Oh-Aew. And the one thing he had, the one weapon he had, tutoring, he can’t use it anymore. He just lost both his spot, and Oh-Aew. It hurts. It hurts.

I like that he was a bit passive aggressive at class, and he hinted that Oh-Aew shouldn’t have taken his efforts so lightly, etc. But when Oh-Aew didn’t quite return his passive aggressiveness, and he had this sincere exchange conversation with Bas instead, Teh’s world stopped again. How could Bas tell Oh-Aew what he wanted to tell him so easily? Why is everyone okay about it? How was it so easy? And there it is. He saw Oh-Aew smiling. “This was what I couldn’t give him. Now I lost him.”

He doesn’t have any more cards. No tutoring cards. He only had his words and his heart. But if he can’t fully accept himself, how’s he supposed to face Oh-Aew? Losing Oh-Aew was devastation. The conversation he had with Hoon was so important. The first time he confessed his feelings out loud. With words. And Hoon’s reply.. I just. Wow, he’s a wonderful brother. And ah, now that he had some acceptance, he could finally accept himself. But he can’t do anything at the moment of course, because Oh-Aew’s with Bas now.

So he fulfills his promise to Oh-Aew at least. I wonder what he was thinking at this point. Did he come to terms that he won’t be close to Oh-Aew anymore? Was he ready to let him go? AND THEN THE MIGHTY SCENE. When Oh-Aew said he just wants Teh to not disappear on him and could be anything Teh wants, Teh’s just like. “Ah. My world’s coming back together. And I’m ready.” “If I can be anything, can I be your boyfriend?”

UGHHHHH THE AMOUNT OF FEELS. Teh’s character is SUCH a journey, but it’s a book I’d love to read and reread, and discover the little things I haven’t discovered before. I love how complex he is, and that we can see so clearly his struggles, turmoil, yearning, and finally, acceptance.

2. Oh-Aew

One thing that I would love is more insight on Oh-Aew’s character. But he, too, is a whole character journey. Have you ever felt like you had no aim? Nowhere to head to, just a mindless walk?

Oh-Aew didn’t have a dream. He didn’t want anything, but it’s not like he’s doing it on purpose. It sounds like it’s nothing much, but imagine being in a desert. With no directions. Or like a dark room, where you desperately try to find a light, just somewhere to look at, somewhere to go, something to do.

And then he found it, his light. His passion. Acting. It’s like when a starved man finally sees food, or when a locked person finally sees the world. He sees motivation. He sees purpose. He sees something he could strive for, and make his parents proud of him. Now imagine that when you finally found that motivation and sense of purpose, someone who you care about, someone you hold dear and never thought would betray you, says you wouldn’t be able to do it, and that you’d give up anyways.

I don’t know how to stress this, but being told that you’re incapable of succeeding at a young age really affects your thinking. Humans by nature, don’t like to be told what they can or cannot do, and it’s the same for Oh-Aew. So he takes that as a challenge, and tries his whole life to prove Teh wrong. To be honest, it’s both a blessing and a curse. A curse because he had ongoing thoughts about how he needs to be the best, and that he needs to prove someone wrong. But a blessing because he now has another motivation to strengthen his attempts to reach his dreams. Personally, I, too, find competitions a push for me to be better. But it also had negative impact on me. I wasn’t satisfied with anything I achieved, I just wanted to bulldoze through. And if there’s even a smallest mistake, I’d beat myself up. It’s not a healthy lifestyle.

And when he finally met with this person again, not only did he keep on staring at him, he also brought up his academic weakness and implied that he’ll fail. Again. Again. And what’s worst is he was partly right. He didn’t get the placement.

Okay I’m going to stop there for Oh-Aew’s motivation and ambition, because I’ll get emotional lol I relate too much. So on to Teh.

What’s interesting about Oh-Aew is that I’m not really sure what he’s thinking, and he’s quite a mystery. But at the same time, he has this presence that’s just, healing and addictive. He doesn’t force, doesn’t push. He coaxes, he’s gentle. But he knows what he wants, and he’s clear about it. I’d love to know the thoughts he had for Teh when they met, though. Because, even though we weren’t shown what was going through his head, or the degree of which he thought of Teh, he obviously sees Teh as different from the rest.

When Teh told him he’s upset that he’s being treated like everyone else, Oh-Aew was just like. “Bestie, why didn’t you tell me? Let me affirm your position. Here’s my big secret.” WITHOUT hesitation. He didn’t think it was weird or anything, all he wanted was to make Teh smile again. And he’s so in tune with Teh. Whenever Ten’s upset, he just knows, asks, and he’ll wait for Teh to be ready, and when he’s ready, he’ll listen to Teh and comfort his unease. I understand how Teh would be so entranced. Oh-Aew was like a breath of fresh air, the quiet comfort, yet alluring and addictive.

And one of my favorite parts would be when Teh told him to not give his time to others, Oh-Aew said it to him right back with such a challenging look on his face. And I think it’s interesting, because he doesn’t really show that much aggression (it wasn’t really aggressive, but he had a harder tone than usual). It shows how Oh-Aew is quite clever in hiding what he wants to hide, or maybe he could even store it in a secret box inside his head and try to ignore it. I’m saying this because we kept seeing how Teh checked and rechecked who saw his story with Tarn, but he couldn’t see Oh-Aew’s name, and Oh-Aew didn’t really seem affected by it. But when Teh mentioned about time, he suddenly took off mask and it’s as if he said, “You’re bothered with me giving your time to others? Okay my bad, but you’re also giving my time others. You think I don’t know? I’m also bothered.” And at this point I was like, ah, so Oh-Aew does notice. And he does gets bothered. It continues on to Teh sniffing the hell out of his hair and he’s just like what? And he thinks, and he thinks, and he looks at the coconut shampoo. And he thinks.

Teh.

And he puts on more shampoo, which suggested how he actually welcomes the thought of Teh liking the smell on him. He wants Teh to like him. More coconut, more coconut. Like me.

But he’s patient, Oh-Aew is. He doesn’t push Teh, he just observes, tests, and when he’s quite sure, he launches his gentle yet dangerous attacks. He made sure Teh was looking at him, thinking of him (not that he actually needed to, Teh was already full of Oh-Aew thoughts HAHA but it does help, to push Teh a bit), and he coaxes. He introduced the possibility of them gently.

But how long could a person wait? How many times can a person get rejected? When he realized he liked Teh, he didn’t tip toe his way around Teh like he did with Bas, he went full force. It’s like, just as Teh was like a hungry lion, Oh-Aew was a prey enticing to be eaten. He wanted to be eaten. He liked Teh’s attention, wanted Teh’s attention, more than anything. He wanted him. After all, Teh was behind his motivation his whole life. He wanted Teh to see him, to love him, to embrace him. Accept him. How long can he be patient? The lion knows he’s hungry, but he refuses to eat. Yet; the lion keeps the prey to himself, to his clutches, to his territory. But the lion won’t do anything directly, so is the prey not worthy enough to be eaten? If not, why put it in the lion’s yearning clutches?

Every time Teh seemed to move forward, Oh-Aew gets disappointed when he moves two steps back. And it’s maddening, because now Teh is just at the center of his world, but he can’t access it. There’s a wall, and this wall keeps him from truly being with Teh. And he’s so addicted to Teh, to Teh’s attention, and he wants more. He had the taste of it, but just as he gets to taste- it’s gone. And he knows why. And it goes back to his own anxiety of being not worthy. Not worthy of a dream, not worthy for a person. Are his parents even proud of him? He desperately tried to change, maybe if I change my gender, he’d like me? He’d accept me? But of course it’s not possible; and it breaks him. Is he even worthy of anything?

And he decided to give up. I might be just assuming, but it’s as if “I’m not smart, why bother. I’m not lovable, why bother.” And he wanted to lock himself in that dark room again, to be aimless, to be numb, to not feel anymore of the pain of not being enough.

And this is the part where I want to rant the most. His rejection of Teh’s place in university. Yes, at first I questioned it too, but did he look happy at all when he rejected it? People have mentioned that Teh’s sacrifice was the answer to Oh-Aew’s earlier question “If the teacher chose you, would you have given it to me?” (Somewhere along these lines). That yes, he would give it up to Oh-Aew.

But Oh Aew too, was answering an accusation made on him. He doesn’t, and never did, want to steal Teh’s dream. All he wanted was an inspiration, a rival to compete with, not to crush. Not to destroy. To me, Teh giving up his place could mean two things to Oh-Aew: Teh was first offering to be destroyed, and second, it would mean that the whole rivalry, inspiration, chase, ambition was colored gray when before it was a burning bright red. There was an idiom that they learned, “Easy pickings.” To get something when you didn’t put so much effort in. And I think, if I was in his place, I’d feel that it was an easy picking, because someone intentionally gave it to him on a silver platter. More so, his love, his rival, his inspiration gave it to him, like the whole competition didn’t matter. I don’t know the intention of the writers, but I feel that it was like Oh-Aew also didn’t want to be the one holding the knife of destroying Teh’s dream. Because he never wanted to. And the competition, the inspiration to his ambition and growth which all started and continued from and around Teh, would mean less. To be a competent rival, he needs to get there by himself.

Also I think if he did accept it, it would be a whole cycle again. Teh would have a card, and he’d never realize that the card’s not what Oh-Aew wants. Oh-Aew only wants his heart. Both of them needed this. Teh needed to know this, and Oh-Aew needed a push to realize his supposed purpose and motivation again. Which he will achieve, by himself, with his own hands, as a worthy rival. And if he gets it, he can say HE did it. He won’t have to feel guilty all his life for “stealing” Teh’s place. Damn. I’ve always wanted to say this since I don’t see much about people talking about Oh-Aew’s side in this.

On to Bas, it’s actually quite heartbreaking to see how he treated Oh-Aew exactly how he wanted. To be accepted and loved without hesitance, to hold hands without a care in the world, to be able receive love without walls. Bas is truly golden. But it’s just not who Oh-Aew wanted. He wasn’t quite Teh, and Bas knows this, and guided him back to Teh. UGH BAS I HOPE YOU FIND SOMEONE AND BE HAPPY.

And finally, the sunset scene. I like how he didn’t apologize about the university placement, but he knew he didn’t want to lose Teh. He already accepted that he might not be what he wants to be by Teh’s side, but he’s willing to take it. Anything. He just wants Teh to not disappear again. And oh, Teh suddenly confessed.

AAAAAAAAAA I CAN’T GET OVER THIS T.T The series is SOOOOO beautiful and well-written. I’m so nervous for Part 2. Pls don’t give them a sad ending. PLEASE. I BEG YOU. Or I might really hypnotize myself to forget the second part and only remember the first one. And and if anyone wants to talk to me and discuss this with me please do!!!!! I love a good discussion T.T and I’m lonely hELP I need to talk about it with someone

[aces-of-the-center-court]

hello dear anon! thank you for the request and for loving out first date headcanons! I’m really glad you enjoyed it, it’s one of my favourites. :) we apologise that this took so long, it was quite difficult to write because I had to do my research for the date spots but I hope this turned out alright. I hope you enjoy :)

- mod sunny.

first date with iwaizumi & sugawara

Sakusa Kiyoomi: Home Date

He would ask you out for a date at his house, thinking it would be the best possible spot – no outside germs or crowds

To his house?? On the first date?! You would be flustered at first but later realise the reason behind the date location and mentally punch yourself for having such impure thoughts

When you go over to his house, you would make sure to bring a small gift (after making sure to sanitise the surface of it ofc)

Once inside, you would ask for directions to the washroom to wash your hands where you would realise that he keeps his things very tidy

You both would then settle down at the living room and decide to play board games, where the two of you would just chill and have fun together instead of making it more competitive

A few games later, you two would then cook up something to go with the movie you rented

You would make sure to tell Sakusa that you had already sanitised the cover and disc before bringing it over, and he would mutter softly about how he trusts you about this since you two have an understanding for hygiene

You would both move to his room for the movie, seated closely next to each other, but not yet touching; it would be slightly unnerving – both your hearts would be beating loudly against your chests despite it not being the least bit intimate

By the time the movie came to an end, you two would have only remembered half the movie as you were both too conscious of the proximity between the two of you and the fact you were in his room

Before leaving, the two of you would clean up the spot you were both seating and he would offer to send you home but would take detours in order to spend more time together

To be honest, he wouldn’t want to separate from you, but he would not say it out loud since he wouldn’t want to be seen as selfish

Strolling in the park, the two of you would exchange some conversations and share comfortable silence, just enjoying both of your presences

He would probably be okay with your touches as he’s comfortable with you since your habits of staying clean helps too, but still not very likely to extend to kisses or hugs during the first date

“Be careful on your way back.” He would say quietly when you two arrive in front of the station and wave you goodbye before you leave.

Oikawa Tooru: Disneyland Date

He would pick you up early from your home, so he gets to spend more time with you during the travel from Miyagi to Tokyo

“You know, there’s a myth about going to Disneyland for the first date…” You would bring up nonchalantly on the train ride to the amusement park, referring to the legend that couples who go to Tokyo Disneyland for the first date would be destined to break up

Ah… Of course, Y/N-chan would have heard of such myths too… Bearing a troubled smile, he would respond, “Mm. I know of that too. Y/N-chan, do believe in it? I don’t.”

“Apparently, if the couple share a kiss within the park, their relationship will last longer… that’s what they say too. What contradictions, I wouldn’t believe such things.”

“Y/N-chan…” He would look at you with tears in his eyes, touched. Did you want to kiss- He would then knock himself out of it, “That’s right! I can’t believe people actually believed in that. Let’s have a great time, the both of us.” He would flash a charming smile at you

During the long ride – from Miyagi to Tokyo and to Disneyland – the two of you would nap on the train with your head lying on his shoulder and his on yours

Upon arrival, Oikawa would be making loud excitable enthusiastic noises while you would be equally excited despite not reacting as openly as he would

After purchasing tickets, Oikawa would pull you along to the gift shop by the entrance to procure adorable matching headbands and trinkets and would snap a selfie of the two of you wearing it – it’s something he had always wanted to do

Checking the lines at the attractions, you two would go to the popular attractions with lines that would never seem to die down first – according to both your intensive research

During the rides, the two of you would be seated close while enjoying the rides or grabbing on to each other for dear life

Afterwards, you two would grab some snacks, where Oikawa would be taking a lot of selfies and pictures of the food, before heading for the afternoon shows and parade

Throughout the date, there would be a lot of natural physical touches, sitting close together on the rides, hitting him on his arms when he does stupid things that made you laugh, and holding hands to make sure the both of you do not get lost in the crowd

While waiting for the rides, there would always be something to talk about – the pictures and videos that the both of you took, discussing about the rides etc.

Right around sunset, the both of you would try canoes for a cruise ride. The view would be stunning, but Oikawa would be staring at you the entire time and trying to sneak a picture

For dinner, you two would have it at the banquet hall while discussing the long day and how you guys would be so tired you can sleep immediately after reaching home

Although he doesn’t believe in myths, he would still be quite wary of it, so during the night fireworks, he would call you softly and lean in for a kiss in front of the Cinderella’s castle

Perhaps sleeping immediately from the fatigue of the long day is no longer an option now as the you would probably be too red in the face from thinking about the kiss to sleep.

Kageyama Tobio: Aquarium Date

After his thorough research and advices that he received from his upperclassmen (mainly Sugawara), he would decide to invite you to the aquarium at Sendai

He would be rather nervous in the beginning, wondering if he prepared everything necessary but would also be excited about seeing the aquatic creatures

At the aquarium, the two of you would be fascinated by the school of fishes swimming in groups, the stingrays, rockfishes and others, which would mean many photographs and videos taken by the both of you

He would not be able to hide his enthusiasm – in an animated way, with lots of ‘wow’ and ‘woah’ from him, he would be openly captivated by the fishes that did not seem to dislike him despite how close his face was to the tank

Kageyama would slowly start to loosen up and relax throughout the date, except when you would unexpectedly grab on his hand of course

Physical contact would be rather natural with you leading it e.g. grabbing his arm to bring him to the next exhibit – his heart would beat unnaturally fast when you do and he’d lose focus of the sea creatures

He would realise that he seemed to be having the most fun and would find it embarrassing that he lost control of his enthusiasm; but when he sees you having fun observing the fishes, he would be relieved and forget about the fishes for a moment while watching you – he’d then snap out of it and tell himself to stay cool in your presence

You two would make small conversations when walking to the other tanks and discussing about the animals – how some fishes look dramatic and scary, cute and small – comparing the fishes to some of his teammates

“This fish looks like Tsukishima, looks like it has a scowl on its face.” Kageyama would compare, watching it closely with his face almost touching the glass, eyes squinting. You would try to suppress your laughter at his antics but would agree with him

A machine that can project your colouring of sea creature on a screen next to it would pique the interest of both of you, hence would try it out without a second thought

The two of you would be so amazed after watching your very own sea creature creations swimming in the screen and would proudly take pictures of each of your masterpieces

Up next would be the dolphin show, where the two of you would be so engrossed in the show that you both forget to take videos and you would later mention about how you regret not capturing the moment

After the aquarium, you two would stop by a small family restaurant to have your meal, looking over pictures and videos together while talking about the sea creatures and the date

On another note, Kageyama would now have a selfie of the both of you which would become his phone screensaver from now on.

Miya Atsumu: Laser Tag Date

The both of you would have agreed on meeting in the late afternoon at the laser tag location

Would then decide to play against one another for the first round, then team up for the next round

He would entice you with a bet where the loser would have to listen to the winner for the rest of the date; your competitive self would not let this opportunity slip

In the first round, you would play lone wolf – while assessing the situation and protecting yourself from the rest of the players, you would try to look for him to shoot him down

He would also play lone wolf instead of forming alliance with others because he knows that’s how you would play and wants it to be a fair fight

He would enjoy seeing you play seriously while having fun but would also want to take you down so you would be at his beck and call for the rest of the date

The two of you would be too focused on taking down each other that when you finally spot him and was about to shoot, someone else eliminated you first

Looking at board, you would see your name being the one who was out, but the next instant, Atsumu’s name would appear just below yours

The two of you would be annoyed, not be able to settle the scores would set the fire in your hearts even hotter

The next round, you and Atsumu would team up as planned and discuss attack and defense strategies. With great chemistry, the two of you would brutally take down the other players smoothly and emerge as the winner at the end

Feeling refreshed, the both of you would go for dinner at somewhere simple. It would be a casual yet refreshing meal, he has quite an appetite so he would order a lot to eat

During the meal, the two of you would enthusiastically discuss moments during the laser tag round where you both won and put off the bet until the next time

“It’s thanks to me that we won, I helped defend your back!” You would claim, but he’d retort, “Nah, it’s my aiming that helped take down our opponents.”

“Okay, end of argument. We make the perfect team – and the perfect couple.” He would conclude smugly, knowing your heart would skip a beat at the last part of his statement

Before the date ends, he would make sure to leave a peck on your cheek. He would then grin smugly as he flirts, “Make sure your lips are ready for mine on our next date.”

[comebackseasonisamess]

Drunken Secrets

Mark Lee x Reader | f2l!au | fluff

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: It’s after grad, and as Mark gets more and more drunk, the truth he’s been hiding from you starts to slip out

Warnings: Underage drinking, swearing, mentions of a fight almost happening, slight manhandling of mark, never actually dtr-ed, suggested pregnancy mention, sex mention, terrible sentence structure, it’s funny how i can’t seem to spell acquaintance, use of italics for emphasis, cliche? Cliche, just two idiots, just two stupids, what a terrible title, i can’t write kiss or confession scenes. Also I can’t make banners for shit. Thanks for reading.

“Heads!”

You duck out of the way as a volleyball narrowly misses you.

Lucas jumps out of the water and goes and gets the ball, throwing it back in the pool before settling down next to you. “You enjoying yourself?”

“Yeah.” You shake your beer can at him. “Are you hoping no one pukes in the pool? Or falls in while drunk?”

Lucas laughs. “You think Mark’s gonna fall in? He’s already halfway drunk.”

Both of you look at Mark, who’s sitting in the hot tub, nursing the spiked punch and laughing loudly.

“Yeah… I’m trying not to drink too much to stop him from doing anything stupid.” You think back to the last time Mark got drunk and broke down and told you how much he appreciated your friendship in between his sobs.

“You’re a good friend,” Lucas says. Then waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Or maybe more, if you know what I mean. If I was with Mark, I’d leave him and let him get drunk off his ass, then film all his shenanigans.” He smiles at you.

You brush off the insinuation. “Oh believe me, I wish I could. But Mark would probably break off our friendship if I did,” you laugh.

“Hey Lucas!” Hendery calls from the pool. “Come join the game!”

Lucas turns to you. “Talk to you later?”

You smile at him, and watch as he swims to rejoin the game. Reaching the bottom of the can, you stand up and head towards the booze table.

As you approach, Mark notices you and his face lights up. He stands up in the hot tub. “Heyyyyyyyyy,” he slurs, already very tipsy. He throws a wet arm around you and presses his face into your neck, forcing you to bend down with him. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too, Markles. What number drink is this?”

He looks down confusedly at his fingers, counting them off. “First I had a couple shots, then a can of Palm Bay, and this is my second cup of the punch.”

Yeri looks at you. “He’s missing some of them too, he finished off Hendery’s can of beer and my cup of punch.”

Mark looks back up at you excitedly. “But I’m not drunk! Chan drank more than me!”

“Yeah, and he’s reached conspiracy theory levels of drunkenness.” You all look at Chan, who’s sitting across from you yelling at Changbin, who’s holding out a cup (of water, you assume), about how “water is poisonous” and “forcing him to drink it is killing him.”

Mark blinks. “He’s kinda making sense….”

You and Yeri exchange a look. “He’s definitely wasted,” she says, and you laugh.

“Hey! You bitch!” Someone erupts from the side, barreling towards Xiao Jun. “You backing away from a fight?” The person keeps advancing on Xiao Jun, who turns his back on the aggressor.

“Whoa whoa whoa guys!” Lucas says, coming between the two of them and facing the instigator. You hurriedly stand in front of Xiao Jun, pushing him away.

“No fighting or else I’m kicking you out.” Lucas is serious for once. He may be an easygoing guy most of the time, but he hates fights and has kicked out others before for smaller offenses.

The guy gets more and more worked up before stalking away and throwing a “fuck you” over his shoulder for good measure.

Xiao Jun watches him go. “I didn’t even do anything to him…..”

“He’s drunk. And angry. And looking to pick on someone,” you explain. You rub a hand against his shoulders comfortingly as he wallows.

If you had glanced over at the hot tub, you would’ve seen Mark looking intensely at the two of you.

You get up out of the hot tub. Mark’s eyes follow you.

“Where ya goin’?” he asks, holding your hand.

“To go get some water for everyone,” you say.

“Ok hurry back, I already miss you,” he drawls.

You dip into the kitchen for water, filling up multiple red solo cups with water before passing them around to the people gathered there.

When you get back to the hot tub and slip in, and hand off the last cups to the occupants, Mark throws an arm behind you and pulls you towards him. He takes a loud sip from his cup, then says: “Wow, I love you.”

You feel yourself heat up in embarassment. Mark gets especially affectionate when he’s drunk, getting more and more touchy and verbally loving as the liquor hits his bloodstream.

Since you first met Mark in freshman year, you’ve always been fascinated by him. Your lockermate and Bio seatmate had been so shy and awkward back then, but as the years progressed he grew into his body and his personality. Suddenly, you couldn’t walk down the hallways without people turning and looking at him. Whispers were always going around about how goodlooking he was, how he must be good in bed.

Needless to say, sometime during sophmore year you realized that what you felt for Mark wasn’t just platonic affection, but the beginning of love, of the “fuck i’m in love with my best friend” kind. And Mark’s drunken habit of being affectionate really wasn’t helping you get rid of your feelings and move on.

As the party winds down, people start heading to the tents in the backyard, and others get rides back with designated drivers or parents.

Mark hangs off of you as he stumbles into Lucas’ bedroom. He had been kind enough to let some of the drunker friends stay there instead of the couches in the living room, where it would be too close to the party and too far from the bathroom.

Mark falls face first into the bed once you reach it, crawling up to the pillow and squishing his face into it. He looks at you from it, motioning towards the empty spot next to him. “Come sleep with me!” he exclaims.

You smile, feeling your heart warm at this version of Mark. He’s always so cute when he gets drunk, all giggly and childish. “I can’t Markles, I gotta help Lucas with the rest of the drunks.”

“But I don’t want you to go,” Mark whines, reaching out with a hand to grab onto you. “I want you to stay here with me!” His eyes light up when he says the last words, and your heart skips a beat. Mark will be the death of you, this you know for a fact.

“Mark Lee,” you chide him, releasing your wrist from his hold. “You need to go to bed alone.”

He pouts, turns over, and mumbles something.

“What, you big baby?”

“Wanna kiss you,” he says louder. Rolling over, he looks at you with his big eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

You freeze. Mark Lee, your best friend since freshman year, your soulmate, the object of your affections for two years now, wants to kiss you? But he’s drunk. And probably not aware of what he’s saying. “Mark, baby, ask me again when you’re sober.”

“Okay!” Mark shuts his eyes and makes shooing motions for you to leave. “I’ll wake up sober in the morning and I can ask you again.”

You smooth down his hair and switch off the light as you walk out.

When Mark wakes up the next morning, it’s to a glass of water and an aspirin. He knows automatically that you left it for him, and then suddenly he remembers what he said to you last night. “Fuck, why am I so dumb…” he says to himself, before rubbing a hand over his face.

Admitting your long harboured desire to kiss your best friend in a drunken haze was really not Mark’s plan. In fact, he had been hoping to squash his feelings for you, and maybe when you were in university together you would find a nice person who really complimented you and made you laugh and you would marry that person, and your friendship would be one that was thought of with nostalgia as you told new friends or children or even grandchildren.

But Mark knows that you hadn’t drank enough to not have remembered what he told you. And he has a strange feeling your friendship wasn’t going to last. He just hopes you are still willing to be acquaintance until he could get rid of his pesky feelings.

Mark finally comes downstairs, looking disheveled with his hair sticking up, and you don’t notice at first as you’re busy flipping pancakes while Lucas is serving coffee and tea. Lucas was one of those people who just didn’t get hungover, and bounced back from an evening’s worth of drinking with a smile and his loud voice.

As you finish the pancake you’re currently making, you pass the spatula off to Xiao Jun. “Junnie can you finish for me? I need to talk to Mark,” you say lowly.

He nods, having been filled in on the potential confession from your best friend just this morning, as he had been the only other person up when you were.

You head over to Mark, tugging gently on his t-shirt to pull him into the entrance hallway, a couple closed doors away from everyone else.

Mark straightens his t-shirt and runs a hand through his hair, looking everywhere but at you. He’s probably having difficulties seeing straight, you had taken out his contacts before putting him to bed and his vision is reduced to blurry blobs without his glasses.

“So…” you drawl out. “I think we need to talk.”

Mark looks embarassed. “I’m sorry,” he says.

You lean back, expectantly. Is he going to tell you that it was a mistake? That he meant it for someone else?

“I shouldn’t’ve done that to you,” he continues. “Put you in that position, I mean. It’s not fair for me to confess to you when I know you don’t feel the same way about me, when I know you’re just good friends with me and that you don’t see me the way I see you.”

“Mark-” you start, but he cuts you off.

“And before you start saying ‘Mark why didn’t you tell me before,’ or suggest that we could try out a relationship, know that I don’t want pity from you. If you don’t want to see me for a while until I’m over you, that’s ok. I respect that.”

You purse your lips, feeling elated, but also very annoyed. “Mark Lee-”

“And I know you don’t tell me everything, and if you already have a significant other and I’m making this awkward I’m so sorry, I just want you to know that I’ve liked you for a while now, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I’m just gonna rejoin the others, drive you home and then I won’t speak to you unless you want me to, ok?”

He turns around, hand on the doorknob, and you whirl him around and place your hands on his stupid face firmly, stopping him from saying anything more or leaving. “Mark fucking Lee, how dare you explain my emotions to me? Have you ever even paused to think that maybe I like you too? Maybe I’d also like to kiss you? Did you even remember what I said last night? That you could ask me again this morning?”

Mark’s eyes widen, clearly just remembering that. He opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.

“And for the record, Mark Lee, I don’t want you to pretend like nothing happened. Or try and kill your crush on me or something in the same, stupid, vein. I want you to ask me if you can kiss me again, and then I’ll say yes, and then we’ll kiss, and then we’ll walk out of here hand in hand and in a fucking relationship. Because your feelings are fucking mutual Mark Lee. And I’ve been in love with you since sophm-” Your words stop as Mark, having regained some of his mobility as your hands had lessened their pressure against his cheeks, leans in for a kiss. He places his hands around your waist, and gently presses his mouth against yours. He’s surprisingly smooth for such an awkward guy.

You lose track of time as you and Mark exchange kisses that have been in the making for a while. With each one, you can feel his love seep through, thousands of unsaid thoughts being communicated for once.

As you pull away from each other, Mark looks at you. “So you’re in love with me?” he teases.

“And what about it?” you glare at him. “Is it a crime to be in love with you? Are you embarassed?”

“No,” he whispers as he starts leaning in again. “I just can’t believe you said ‘I love you’ first.”

You push away from him. “Wait.... Does this mean you love me too?”

Mark shyly nods. “I love you too.” He leans in once more, but you solidly push him back.

“Wait a second! While I’d love to keep kissing you Markles, the others are probably wondering what we’re doing.... And knowing Lucas he probably thinks we’re fucking in his closet somewhere.”

Mark instantly reddens, suddenly remembering all the times Lucas said the two of you had major sexual tension. He turns around and quickly flings open the door, latching onto your fingers with his own. “Well at least we know he’s pretty close to being right,” he says as he pulls you through the doorway.

You stare at him, incredulous. “Mark! Were you expecting to fuck me in the entrance way? Of Lucas’ house? Where everyone’s gonna walk out of?”

Mark gets even more red than he already is. “No!” he says, but his voice cracks and he enters the kitchen, you right behind him.

Lucas turns away from his conversation with Xiao Jun, then yells: “Please tell me that you’re together! And that you didn’t fuck in my closet!”

“No!” Mark screeches, his voice breaking again. “Dude, who do you think I am?”

You giggle. “Yes Lucas, me and Mark are together now,” you say.

“Finally!” Lucas shouts, then pours some coffee into two mugs and takes out leftover booze. “This calls for a celebration!”

You and Mark glance at each other, then look at Xiao Jun, who understands what you want him to do and wrestles the booze away from Lucas.

A disgruntled noise comes from a blob on the couch. Yangyang looks through the slit in his hoodie. “Eyyyyyy guyssssss… Shut up a bit please? My head hurts and I wanna puke,” he groans.

“That’s what you get for getting drunk for the first time!” Lucas roars, then proceeds to make fun of Yangyang, who’s pleas for help go unnoticed.

You reach for your cup of coffee, then squeeze Mark’s fingers. “Wanna sit down outside? It’s nice and sunny.”

He blinks a couple of times at you, confused, then grabs his cup and follows you out the door.

If Lucas had stopped teasing Yangyang for a moment and looked out the window, he would’ve seen you and Mark, sitting side by side with your legs in the pool, holding tightly onto one another as you laugh. And while Lucas isn’t looking (which is honestly a blessing, he probably would’ve cannonballed right in between the two of you and ruined the mood), Xiao Jun is, and he’s quite relieved that the two idiots finally got their shit together and confessed.

Bonus: Three years in the future, in their shared apartment together

“Are you ok?” Mark says as you wriggle around on your shared bed.

“Just… Babies are so cute and I want one,” you say, looking up from your phone.

Mark looks you dead in the eye. “I- I could give one to you.”

You perk up. “Really?”

Mark blushes hard and looks away. “I’m joking…”

“Mark, sweetheart I know that. Your game’s not that good.”

Copyright @comebackseasonisamess​ 2020

[liaswritesrobots]

👉👈 can i req mer!deathcobra and bot!leozack? just something cute? maybe ft the fact that cats are afraid of water?

Ever since he was a young bot, Leozack had a fascination with the ocean. Sure he hated getting wet, but the smell of salt water and the sound of the waves often help him calm down. He'd often take walks to the beach alone after he had a little disagreement with Lyzack or when Deathsaurus yelled at him.

His curiosity only grew more after he fell off the pier one day and was rescued by a fish-bot hybrid creature.

He came back the day after and got his name. Deathcobra.

Odd. You'd think with a name like that the creature would have pulled him to a watery demise.

But here he is years later, alive and well, packing an extra treat for his fishy friend as he gets ready to head down to the beach.

Lyzack had wanted to come today, but unfortunately she came down with a virus. He promised to pick up some good medicine for her on the way back home, and he knows she's in good hands with Esmeral, still, he's rather worried.

"I'm heading out," Leozack shouts down the hall so Lyzack will hear him, "I'll be back soon! Don't do anything stupid to make yourself worse, I'll have the medicine when I come back!"

He hears her cough, "You're one to talk!" She shouts rather hoarsely, teasing him.

He lets out an annoyed hum before leaving. He figures he should stop and get the medicine first, just in case he loses track of time with Deathcobra and the shops close, so he heads there first.

After getting the medication he hightails it to the beach. It's rather crowded today, but that's fine, because he knows of a little cove off to itself where he and Deathcobra can talk alone. Hei sure Deathcobra is probably already there waiting for him.

He runs off to the cove, not paying much attention to the other bots there enjoying the sun and waves. Once he arrives he places the medicine on a stone that is coming out of the wall, treating it like a little shelf, and pulls out some rust sticks and high grade oil from his subspace.

"Deathcobra? Are you here?" He yells and his voice echoes out in the cove, "I brought some good oil."

Moments later Deathcobra jumps from the water, causing some to splash on Leozack, who pulls back and yelps.

"Sorry about that," Deathcobra chuckles, "Keep forgetting you don't like the water."

"It's not that I don't like it, I just don't like getting wet unnecessarily." He huffs.

"Right," the cobra eel mer says swimming closer to the cove's rocks before hopping up on one beside Leozack, keeping his slender tail dipped in the water, "I still don't get why you want to hang out at the beach then."

"It's calming." Leozack responds.

"Not if you saw it from my perspective."

"Come on, what could be a bigger threat in these waters than you?" Leozack laughed, handing the mermech a bottle of oil.

"Plenty of stuff. Great Sharkticons to name one. Plus I'm not the only merperson, a lot of us can be pretty territorial," he pauses to take a swig of the oil, "Ah, you did get the stuff. How'd you sneak this past your boss?"

"Psssh, it was easy, Deathsaurus is too dumb to notice anything other than himself." Leozack boasted, munching on a rust stick.

Deathcobra smirked at the younger bot's arragonace, he finds it endearing, cute even, "His wife gave it to you didn't she?"

"N-no!" He looks away to hide the pink tint of his cheeks and his pout.

Deathcobra smiles. Leozack can get away with a lot, but when it comes to him, Deathcobra knows that Leozack blushes and pouts when he lies to him. Though Leozack's lies are usually something trying to impress Deathcobra, so he doesn't mind too much.

"Anyway, like I was saying," Deathcobra takes another sip of oil, "Some of us merfolk can get into fights. I've been in a few myself, I have a few scars to prove it."

Leozack turns his helm back towards the mer in curiosity.

"Like this one," he lifts his tail and points to a wide, somewhat faded slash on the side of it, "That one was from fighting a mermech called Pinpoint."

Leozack looks at the mark with surprise, "Looks painful."

"It was. This is the healed scar."

"So it's not gonna get any better than that?"

"Nope. I also gave this one on my arm," he turns his finned arm to show off a huge vertical scar, "That one was from a fishermech after I messed up his net. He was trying to poach in my territory."

"What happened to him?"

"His remains have probably hit the bottom of the ocean by now." Deathcobra smirks.

Leozack smiles at the mermech.

"Wanna feel it?" Deathcobra asks, laying his arm next to the bot.

Leozack hesitantly moves his servo towards Deathcobra's arm. He carefully slides a digit against the scar, noting how firm and muscular Deathcobra's arm is. Deathcobra watches as Leozack feels his arm and notices his cheeks slightly glow pink as he feels the mermech's muscles. Leozack finally looks up to meet the mermech's gaze. They wordlessly stare each other down, unknowingly leaning closer.

Leozack's lips gently brush against Deathcobra's and he leans back, "Sorry!" Leozack yells out, "I didn't mean-" He's cut off by the mermech's lips crashing into his. His optics go wide with surprise before slowly closing as he leans into Deathcobra's kiss.

This kiss lasts for about a minute, but to Leozack, it feels like a lifetime.

At least until Deathcobra pulls back. Then he feels like it could have lasted longer.

Deathcobra moves his webbed hand up to Leozack's face, brushing his thumb over his cheek. He leans in and presses his he helm to Leozack's, "I've been waiting to do that."

Leozack smiles, "Yeah, me too."

[diamondcitydarlin]

I am just...honestly fascinated by this sudden ‘change of heart’ with Guillermo tho in regards to being a familiar and becoming a vampire, there’s a lot going on there and a lot to unpack, and I’m hoping somewhere in the depths of what is about to be a long, directionless rant I’ll find the clarity I haven’t seemed to quite grasp yet. 

ALSO I’M SORRY THIS IS A LOOONG ASS POST BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO PUT IT UNDER A READ MORE AND SUBJECT INNOCENTS TO MY BLOG LOL, BUT I’VE TAGGED ACCORDINGLY 

So, I already made a post about ‘Collaboration’ and some of the interesting subtext we get within that episode. Mainly, that this episode is an interesting one for Guillermo because he finally gets what appears to be and should be (at least at first) the opportunity he’s always been waiting for. To this point, across seasons, Guillermo has driven home that his one and only aspiration in life, the reason he tolerates an endless, shitty position, is because he hopes to become a vampire. He’s wanted it since he was a kid. IF HE CAN’T BECOME A VAMPIRE, WHAT HAS THIS ALL BEEN ABOUT?? 

If it was as simple as just wanting to become a vampire by any means necessary, leaving Nandor for this golden opportunity should have been as easy as taking off an ill-fitting pair of shoes...but it wasn’t that, was it? When Nandor pretended to shuck him off as if it didn’t matter, Guillermo got angry and sad in equal measure and only really brightened again when Nandor came back and promised to do better by him. Not necessarily set down a concrete timeline for the ‘becoming a vampire’ thing though, but Guillermo didn’t seem to care about that all that much anyway. Interesting. 

Now we’re able to see a version of things in which Guillermo is being treated better as a familiar, but rather than this development improving his mood he seems all the more aware of the fact now that...maybe he doesn’t even want to be a vampire anymore. Maybe he’s wasting his time here. Maybe he needs to swim towards open waters, so to speak. 

Very similar to Nandor, Guillermo, I think, is not really aware or fully accepting of the inner workings of his own mind. He strikes me as a character that does a lot in the way of burying the truths of himself so far down, he even convinces himself that part of who he is doesn’t really exist- even when it does, and drives a lot of his actions. The show plays to this by only ‘showing��� us concretely how much Guillermo wants us to know, with only small hints and nods to other things going on. That fits and rings true to the norm for a mockumentary style of filming/writing, in that the audience has to rely on a lot of subtle cues from the subjects to figure out what’s ‘really going on’ with a character or plot line; the ‘camera’ in a mockumentary style piece is as much of a visceral, present character as anyone else in the cast and is treated accordingly (but then, like 99.99999% of human beings have seen the entirety of The Office and Parks and Rec, so yall know this already) 

I think part of the way to figuring this all out is to ask why Guillermo wanted to be a vampire in the first place. His answer to this would probably be something along the lines of ‘because they’re cool’ which, you know, valid. That would be a fitting and satisfying answer if, say, I had given it because there was a time when I was about 4-6 years old that I, too, decided I would grow up to be a vampire. Because it was ‘cool’ and aspiring to anything else seemed boring. Again, valid. For someone who has dedicated pretty much ALL of his adult life to apprenticing into vampirism based on a childhood dream that never died? THAT begs a bit more of an in depth reason, I think, to which for now we can only guess. 

I’ll try to make an educated one based on what I believe is going on here, that Guillermo himself is either not aware of or not ready to share with the cameras: I believe his drive to want to become a vampire, given it was based in childhood flights of fancy (and probably some Guillermo-self insert/Armand fanfics, let’s be hONEST) was rooted in a need to feel respected and powerful, at the heart of things. When we first meet Guillermo, and for much of season 1, we see that he’s quiet, subservient, meek, and we learn briefly about how he was bullied in school. I think Guillermo was raised to be this way and use silence/subservience as his only defense mechanism, which may also go a long way to explaining why he’s so reserved. For 10 years, I think it was enough for him to tell himself that everything would be better for him once he became a vampire, he’d have all the things he never had as a human. Respect. Appreciation. Power. Control over his own life.

That said, things have changed quite a bit for Guillermo since season one. While learning that he had Van Helsing blood came as an unpleasant shock, embracing and exploring that side of himself proved that he’s actually kind of a bad ass even without being a vampire. He only ever wielded this power to protect Nandor and others so far, but it is a power nonetheless, this agility and strength that is too great for even VAMPIRES to successfully fight back against. He’s also a smart cookie that knows how to manipulate a situation, something that he’s been using a lot this season too. So, power, then. He has it already. Respect he received from his vampire-hunting group. 

But that still leaves appreciation and, dare I say it, maybe even affection/love. I think there’s a part of Guillermo that wants to feel like he’s accepted and cared for, but even when it’s offered (by groups like his vampire hunting clan, or Celeste’s vampire community lol) he seems to shy away from it going too far, like it’s just too much or ill-fitting coming from people he barely knows. Given that he’s a private, introvert type this makes sense. 

One thing has remained consistent for Guillermo though, across both seasons and episodes, and that’s his seemingly unwavering concern and affection for Nandor. Even in this last ep when he’s unashamedly shucking off duties that don’t fit his job description and maintaining those professional boundaries like a BOSS, he still snaps to and gets to work the moment Nandor is kidnapped. Laszlo’s gone? Meh, who cares, not his jurisdiction. Nandor’s gone!?? Fuck it, he’s getting the keys. A ‘vampire’ offers him the opportunity of a lifetime to become a vampire quickly and live within an accepting community of likeminded people and Nandor told him ‘go for it’? He’s upset that Nandor didn’t fight harder to keep him. 

So now he’s back and Nandor’s making a consistent effort not to abuse Guillermo’s position. This seemed the ideal resolution at the end of ‘Collaboration’, but after a couple of weeks it becomes clear that it wasn’t. For some reason. Guillermo’s no longer satisfied and thinks maybe it’s time to do more with his life. 

I’ll try to sum up the points I’ve made so far into a concise version of where I think Guillermo’s at right now, at least subconsciously; mostly all the things he hoped that turning into a vampire would grant him, have already been granted. He’s learned that he’s strong, smart, capable as is, more than he or anyone else had ever given him credit for. I think it makes sense that his burning need to become a vampire has begun to ebb into a quarter-life crisis of questioning who he really is and what he really wants, because the dream he nursed for so long has turned out to be pretty shallow and maybe not even necessary. He realizes there’s more he could be doing than working tirelessly to an end goal that no longer seems so sweet. 

But that leaves the ‘affection’ and ‘acceptance’ elements dangling in space, held up by his own affection for Nandor that has yet to be really defined. It’s pretty clear that Guillermo is nursing it hard, but what is the nature of it? Even as his sense of loyal devotion to a cause has started to fade, even as his view of Nandor as this unflappable role model has begun to disappear too bc he’s starting to see Nandor for who he really is (a himbo idiot that he can outwit, outmatch without even trying hard) this raw affection still remains. It’s still important that Nandor fights for him. It’s still important that Nandor is safe and protected.  

And, as with the rest of these things I mentioned, I don’t think Guillermo is even really aware of how much he cares about Nandor, how much it drives his actions and thinking, how important that relationship is to him. It’s easier to just sort of...ignore that and pretend it isn’t a factor, that’s Guillermo’s modus operandi when it comes to complicated feelings. 

I think back to that line from season 1, wherein Guillermo’s kind of musing wistfully about how different his life might have been if he’d stayed at Panera Bread/in a stable job with pay and benefits, but then handwaves that all away with ‘The heart wants what it wants’. By this point in the show he was already kind of drifting away from the goal of becoming a vampire (whether he realized it or not). 

The heart wants what it wants indeed, Guillermo, but maybe it’s not really ‘becoming a vampire’. Maybe it’s something else entirely that keeps you tied to this house, this thankless ‘job’. 

At this point, I really cannot say for 100% certain what I think will happen next with Guillermo. This show has proven solid at pulling out unexpected plot twists I wouldn’t have seen coming, but then, I also have been pretty good at predicting where they’re gonna go with things. Like 7/10 lmao. My two theories right now are: 

He’ll become a vampire in the series finale- unwillingly, maybe by accident. This one I think is plausible because it’s a bit of a kick in the pants. It’s the outcome he’s wanted for SO LONG but has just realized maybe it’s not all he can do or wants to do. I could see a situation where, idk, maybe Guillermo expresses to Nandor his thoughts lately about moving on from this and, in an act of stupid desperation, Nandor thinks maybe if he changes him that’ll keep him in his life, so he does it while Guillermo’s asleep and then surprises him when he wakes up...only to find out maybe that wasn’t actually what he wanted anymore, but UH OH what’s done is done. This could provide a lot of tension in the next season, I think. But as it’s a bit of a ‘shocking’ twist type route to go, I can’t be certain this is what they’ll do. Kind of a toss up. 

Guillermo leaves to pursue something else, which the camera crew will follow and document. This is the ‘sensible’/’safe’ route that most scripted shows would take, I think, in this situation...but again, I’m not certain about this one either because Shadows is known for throwing us for a loop and this seems a liiiittle predictable. It’s also very similar to what JUST happened in episode 8 and, were I writing the show, I’d worry it would come across as redundant. Like, maybe we already did this angle and should explore other options to keep the audience on their toes. Also, as much as they love putting Harvey with new casts of characters for episodic stories, I’m not sure they’d transplant him from the main cast for an extended period of time because he’s part of what makes that dynamic run so well. But then, the synopsis of the finale does say that vampires have to ‘survive without Guillermo’ while preparing for an event, so this may happen in some small, episodic measure again.   

Anyway, to wrap this up into a conclusion, I don’t think I’m wrong in predicting that Nandor/Guillermo’s relationship has been set up in such a way as to keep us guessing, sort of a Sam/Diane, will-they-won’t-they type thing that will remain a constant throughout whatever happens next, but will require both characters growing independent of each other in their own respective subplots. At this point, it has always remained consistent that Nandor and Guillermo prioritize each other even when it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t think either of them are ready to realize, accept, and sort through the layers of what they feel for each other. The master/servant dynamic makes that difficult, I’d imagine, so I think inevitably we’ll see the show start to pull them away from that. All I’m saying is, if whatever is going on between them wasn’t VERY complicated it would’ve been resolved as whatever it is a long time ago. Nah, there’s some deep, repressed shit they’re ignoring collectively for whatever reason, and usually that points to something that will, at some point, become romantic. Either way, to understand Guillermo is to keep a close eye on how his dynamic with Nandor grows and changes and I’m, as ever, VERY eager to see how it does.