Jealousy Jealousy
A sheep x Nariender fanfic (1/2)
Summary: Narinder is finding himself in a position after being well settled in the cult where he knows of a new friend’s affection for their leader, and takes the sideline for them.
TW: Feelings of inadequacy, mentions of & allusions to cannibalism, and unrequited feelings, Love…Triangle? Tangle? Something. Spoilers for the game.
Other content tags: Fake relationship
Narinder stood in the garden, plucking beets from the earth and placing them in the chest. The lamb had recently installed some sort of totem to make the plants grow faster, which was both a good and a bad thing for him. Good because it provided work for him to do. Bad because it meant he had little freetime anymore during daylight hours.
“These will probably be the last thing I do before I take a break for a short while.”
He says to himself. Since he was up during the nights anyways; He’s come to find out that he enjoys being productive, over having idle hands.
Idle hands lead to idle thoughts, which right now were not exactly all that kind to Narinder.
He’s long settled into the cult’s life, watching those who did not wear a skull necklace when he was first indoctrinated pass on, be sacrificed, or went abruptly missing one night. Years go on as time for him remains standing faithfully still.
He didn’t really care for the last two sacrifices, only because it made weird looking food appear in the morning. It tasted really good, but whenever he asks about what its made of, the sheep never really answers the question. Now that he has had the thought, he wonders where Jack and Edmund went.
Oh well. That was neither here nor there.
He hears the small dinging of the bell and sees everyone in the distance getting up, or laying down their axes/pickaxes. Some make their way over to the food to eat before heading to bed, others are making a beeline for their huts.
“Hey Narinder!”
Came a high-pitched voice after he wandered closer to the worshiping statue. He looks down to see the yellow snail with the white shell on her back.
“Evening Gloria,”
He answers her.
She too wore the necklace he did, and by the stars she was extremely perky despite neither one of them really sleeping. Always carrying an upbeat attitude and in her own ways, always inspiring others. In his humble opinion, she is the best missionary the lamb has. Any follower she has brought back has been extremely loyal to the cult and its teachings. Not only that, she makes a friend out of them extremely quickly.
The reason he talks to Gloria has more to do with the fact that they’ve bonded over being the only ones up aside from the Lamb. However, even then, the lamb is out on crusades and bringing things back to the cult, or they’re somewhere else in the world.
“How’re you?”
“I’m alright, sore from all the farm work.”
“Understandable, my knees start aching after praying for so long. I just can’t help it, I want to put everything into my prayers!”
“Of course, devotion to the lamb is a wonderful thing.”
“Well... I would love to be devoted to them in a way more than just a normal follower.”
She must have picked up on the “confusion” on his face because she was quick to explain. This wasn’t actually the first time he’d heard her say this same train of thought, but due to the head trauma she had endured on her way into/including her stay inside of The Silk Cradle, Gloria’s memory was not entirely the best.
“I mean-- I’m--I...”
She sighs,
“I’ve been trying to hide the feelings I’ve developed for our leader, and before you ask--!”
She puts her hands up defensively,
“I have made sure that it’s not just the idea of them I’m in love with, and that it physically them I'm in love with. I know my memory isn't as good as it was, so I wrote it down to make I didn't forget what my goal was!”
“I’m glad.”
Even though the ex-god was not, in fact, glad at all about hearing this.
“Do you think if I asked the lamb to marry me, they would? I mean...They don’t have any significant others right now. Not after Theodosia’s ascension.”
Which Gloria would know if they did or didn’t given that she’s one of the older cult members. The more experienced ones.
“I’m not sure,”
He replied honestly, then thoughtfully added:
“I mean, marriage is an awfully far jump from a crush, what if you realize that it’s gone one day?”
Gloria looked surprised for a moment or two, then bit her lip with a nod.
“I suppose I’ll need to start spending more time with our Leader. Now that you’ve said that, I realize I don’t want that to happen. Thank you, Narinder! What a wonderful friend you are, always thinking of the things I forget or overlook.”
She got up quickly, hugged him briefly, and started over to where the Lamb was cooking not horribly far from them. He waved and watched. He bit his lip. Hating every second all of a sudden.
How she made them light up. How she interacted with them. How she placed her hand on their arm or shoulder. How she flirted with them once they handed her a bowl of whatever they were making. From the looks of it, it did not look like the hearty meat meal the lamb’s been fond of making. If he had to guess, it’s probably more of whatever meat comes as a result from a sacrifice.
Which surprisingly doesn't bother him as badly as he thought the idea would. Now if he had to eat a bowl of that one particular batch of it again, then he would most likely puke.
He felt sick, so he forced himself to turn away and walk briskly to his hut. He almost sprinted away and had to physically make sure the door did not slam behind him. He didn't want to give away he’d been watching the two of them interact.
He flings himself onto his bed and buried his face into the covers. Stupid Gloria, stupid lamb, stupid feelings, stupid, stupid and stupid.
-
How Narinder got drafted into this elaborate plan, he has no idea. Yet here he is, sowing string through the bottoms of Camilla flowers to make a crown for Gloria. Gloria was currently making the one she would give to the lamb.
“Thank you so much for doing this,”
She had said, but Narinder didn’t audibly respond back. Too busy wanting this to be over already. There was light conversation between them, but nothing of any substantiality. He leans over after stringing what he hopes is the last one to place it on her head. Holding it closed as so it sits in its intended circular shape.
“Does it feel alright?”
“It’s a little snug, but that’s alright. Means it’ll stay, right?”
“Right.”
He offers her a smile and then leans back away starting to tie off the string.
“Does this look like it’ll fit?”
Gloria holds up her stringed flowers, trying her best to mimic the gesture he had had seconds ago.
“It looks a little small.”
“Does it?”
“Yeah. Looks more like it would just rest on their head, rather than go down where it would be secure.”
Gloria nodded, but let out a very strong oh no upon realizing that the basket next to her was empty; thus meaning, that she had no more flowers to expand the crown any further than what she already had.
“I’m sure it will be alright,”
He tried assuring, but the snail seemed inconsolable at the moment. So, as a result, Narinder came up with an idea.
“Why don’t you ask for them to go get some from Darkwood whilst out on one of their crusades?”
“But how would I—”
“You don’t have to confess then and there, just simply say you need oh…ten camellia flowers to make a bouquet for the one you wish to confess to?”
“Oh that’s good.”
“I thought so.”
“I’ll go do that now!”
She moved much faster than the former god expected, quickly making her way over to where the lamb was finishing taking a confession. He saw Beelzebub coming out with a refreshed look on their face, and figured whatever weight they had on their shoulders must have been significantly lifted.
She seems to make her request, then her face falls for a moment or two as the Lamb seems to ask her for something after a longer than anticipated paused. Narinder sees her bite her lip, but ultimately agree to whatever it is. The lamb gives her a hug, (which he managed to stop himself from growling at), before rushing off to deal with something inside the temple.
The snail angrily sulks as she walks back over to him and he looks at her confused until she’s close enough to hear him if he said anything.
“What happened?”
“They just asked me to go on a mission in exchange for getting the flowers.”
“And?”
“I said I would of course; they said they wanted me to go see if I could find someone to convert since we’ve had some recent deaths, and our numbers were dwindling and so is some faith. They figure if we have some more intensely faithful members then all will be well once more.”
“I see. Their reasoning isn’t unreasonable. You are one of the best missionaries they have within our cult.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m sorry I don’t have more words to offer you to make you feel better.”
“It’s alright Narinder, it’s the idea that’s counting.”
There’s a brief lull in the conversation before he offers something he debated saying. Her eyes drifting to her crossed arms, then her feet.
“Hey, Gloria, look on the bright side. At least you’ll have something to look forward to when you get back. Something to keep you going when it gets tough out there.”
She looks up from the ground and one can see the lightbulb clicking into place. Her eyes widening as her lips curl into a smile.
“You’re right!”
She exclaimed, seeming like she has hit enlightenment with the thought.
“—And the sooner I get started, the sooner I get back! Oh, Narinder!”
She drops to her knees and hugs him around the neck. He fights with himself to hug her back, but ultimately does.
“You truly do come up with the best ideas and comfort. I shall see you in two days time!”
She smiles at him as she pulls away, then quickly hurries over the missionary hut and disappears inside of it. Far more eager to get started on her mission than she was when she was given it.
Narinder knows that she, despite her reservations, is truly one of the best missionaries that the lamb has as he has said more than once to others and himself.
He hears the bell from the temple and picks up their project off of the ground, placing it into his basket to drop off at his hut before he heads to the temple. Unknowing within the next few days that his world was going to turn and start spinning differently over the course of 48 hours.
————
Narinder hummed quietly as he plucked berries from a newly ripened bush in the garden the next morning after Gloria set off, letting his mind wander idly to random things.
“Narinder?”
“Hm?”
His head lifts as he sees the Lamb standing nearby, jumping a little. Had he been hurried that deeply in thought as to not notice them?
“Oh. Hello Lamb,”
“Morning Narinder, how’re you?”
“I’m alright.”
His eyes turn back to the bush in front of him, but his third one remains open and trained on the Lamb that way he can multitask; continue working, and carry on a conversation.
“And yourself, dear lamb?”
“I’m alright, although…”
“Although what?
“I can’t seem to get me mind off a few matters.”
There’s a brief pause in the conversation that allows Narinder to get up and place his basket in the chest behind him and go to check the trap the scarecrow holds for birds. He resets them, and takes the two caught for the day to the chest.
“Care to share with the cult?”
He invited. The chuckle at the words, but answer his request with letting him in on their thoughts.
“Well for one, I’m worried about Nanajul. They’ve been desperately trying to get me to play along with some cruel prank that they want to play on poor Cassidy. Their faith in me is dwindling as a result and I’m worried I’m going to have a dissenter amongst us soon.”
Valid reason to be concerned. He makes note to talk to their idiotic mutual acquaintance later.
“I see. I can talk to him if you wish, I’m sure he’ll understand if he’s being told it’s a poor idea from someone else rather than his leader.”
“I would appreciate that.”
The lamb’s body language relaxed a little, and like water coming out of a spigot as you slowly turned it on, the other troubles travelled out.
“Secondly, I can’t seem to keep someone consecrating resources. It seems like every time I’m turning around I’m having to tell someone new to go and then having to tell them what to do even though there’s a list of resources in order to do each day.”
Again super valid. He remembers Leshy having some sort of similar problem with their prophets when they were younger. He remembers roughly how Shamura answered in response and tries his best to imitate his older sibling’s response despite not liking having to do so. Things might have gone sour between them, but that didn’t make their words any less right.
“That’s rather annoying, but at least from my perspective that’s probably nothing to worry about. I think as long as it gets done, then what is taking a few minutes to provide guidance going to hurt? You haven’t forgotten how many times you have— had. You had needed my help prior to our current circumstances, have you?”
The lamb looks sheepishly— no pun intended on Narinder’s part— before nodding a little bit. He shook his head, but didn’t harp on it more. He knew they were a quick learner and with pointing out the flaw in their thinking, he figures they’ll try and have a little more open mind to the change of members trying to complete the task.
“And third, I don’t want to go to Darkwood.”
“What is in Darkwood?”
“Those Camellia flowers for Gloria.”
“What is wrong with her request, dear lamb?”
“If I tell you, how poorly would you look at me?”
“Lamb, have you forgotten who I used to be?“
“Touché.”
“You know how you had given me the abilities to read the minds of my members?”
“Yes.”
“I decided to check in on her mentally since it had been a long while since I have last done so and I…”
The lamb trails off.
“You…?”
They don’t answer immediately, so Narinder wanders over to them and stands across from him. Taking the hint they wished not to speak loudly.
“I know the real reason why she wants the flowers, and I feel horrible because I’m not interested in her like that.”
Narinder feels his blood turn cold at that admission. All three eyes widened at the Lamb.
“Which is part of the reason why I sent her off, so I could have time to think of how to let her down gently.”
.
“Please don’t look at me like that.”
Narinder shakes his head and closes his third eye.
“Apologies. It’s just…That… is a…heavy confession, lamb.”
“I know. I know, but I don’t know what to do about it.”
An idea, though devious, crossed Narinder’s mind as he lets the worry hang in the air for a moment or two before speaking up. It was selfish of him to suggest, and he knows it. The guilt tells him so, but nonetheless he wants the lamb bad enough he’ll deal with the fallout from Gloria when it happens.
“You could always fake being in a relationship. Say someone confessed to you or you confessed to someone while she was gone.”
They consider it for a moment or two before frowning.
“But it wouldn’t hold up for long.”
“Why so?”
“Because I’m sure she would expect me to be around said member, and when day in and day out nothing happens…”
It’s implied she’d put two and two together that she would figure out they lied quick, fast, and in a hurry.
“I will help you.”
Narinder said without thinking, and almost wished he could take the words back and shove them into his face. They were words back when they were a god that were so natural between he and the Lamb. Words that he would offer a million times over if they needed his guidance. It was a habit he hadn’t realized he still had given the distance that had been between them for so long.
“Are you sure? You—We— I…”
They stammered, at a loss for words evidently from either the absurdity or the abruptness of the idea.
“Look, I know we have our… differences, given what happened.”
Narinder didn’t need to imply their entire fight given the betrayal the lamb had caused because they wanted to keep the crown they wore; moreover, the utter anger and resentment that hung between them for so… so long after he was spared. Which each party had their reasons to be legitimately upset.
“But in the end, are you really that against me wanting to help you— albeit in a different way than I had once, lamb? Do you truly think still so low of me?”
They don’t answer, and he opens his mouth to tell them to consider it at least, but they beat him to the metaphorical punch bowl.
“No. I know that when you said you’ll help me you mean it. I know that fact too— too well. I want to move past this animosity we have still between our friendship.”
They nod to themselves.
“So, lovers?”
The lamb outstretched their hand to him, and he feels his heart excitedly skip a beat despite his brain knowing this wasn’t a real offer.
“Lovers it is, my lamb.”
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