#farewell image quality

[annomalysstuff]

[Edit: click for better quality!]

Fan art from the newest chapter of Ghost in the shell by @bluepeachstudios !

If you somehow haven’t read this fan fic I strongly recommend you to do so, it is amazing on so many ways

The last chapter in particular was pretty good, I love the direction the story is heading to, and I can’t wait to see more

[gideonysis]

Harrow Nova

hARrow nOva

hARROW NOVAAAAAa

[ak319]

Lovesick A.M x f!reader

--★ Rose Hats and Rough Hearts

(AN: So, a fic idea I have serves as an inspo for this one-shot. The reader is a morally gray character and doesn't like being part of the gang. Anyway, enjoy reading!.) Syno: When her sharp tongue turns on Dutch, Arthur wonders if she’s gone too far, or if he’s fallen too deep. Warnings/MDNI: Age gap (you are in early 20's and Arthur is 30-31), pining, angst, fluff. ✰ -11k.

“Well, wasn’t that easy? Been a long time since I enjoyed a robbery like that,” Hosea chuckled, tugging down his bandana.

Arthur glanced at the bag tied to the horse, heavy with valuables, and gave a small nod. “Definitely.”

The two rode at a leisurely pace, the quiet night stretching around them like a blanket, the stars casting a soft glow over the landscape. Arthur’s eyes drifted as they moved, catching on a patch of bushes nearby.

Roses.

Even in the faint starlight, their delicate shapes stood out, and an idea bloomed in his mind.

“Uh, Hosea,” Arthur started, breaking the calm, “I’ve got an errand to run.”

“An errand? At this time of night?” Hosea raised a brow, his tone lightly scolding. “You oughta rest now, son. You’ve earned it.”

“No, no,” Arthur replied quickly, waving it off. “Just need to head into town for a bit. Won’t be long, don’t you worry.”

Hosea paused for a moment, then gave a knowing smile and nodded. “Alright, if you say so. Just don’t go gettin’ yourself into trouble.”

He handed Hosea the score and with a final farewell, the two parted ways, Arthur veering off towards the town, his thoughts already on the next step of his plan.

Arthur arrived at the shop and dismounted, but instead of heading inside, he lingered by his horse, running a hand over the animal’s neck. Was this even a good idea? Why was it all so damn complicated?

There’s no harm in buying something, right? Just a harmless gesture. He could figure out what to do with it later... later.

For days now, it had been the same cycle.

Don’t think about her. Just don’t.

There’s no harm in it, right?

And yet he does.

Don’t look at her, it’s strange. Keep your distance.

A few stolen glances don’t mean anything when she’s far away, right?

And yet he does.

Don’t buy her a gift. What kind of fool even does that? Who is he to her, anyway?

And here he is, standing outside the shop, heart pounding like a damn fool, a love fool.

“Yes, sir? How may I help you? By the way, there’s a 5% discount on the winter stock. Perhaps you’d like to try the waistcoats?”

Arthur scratched the back of his neck, his eyes drifting around the shop. Was he in the right place? He scanned the shelves and displays until his gaze landed on the wall.

Yes, there it was. The item he’d noticed before.

“Can you show me that hat?”

The shopkeeper immediately retrieved it with a practiced hand and held it out with a smile. “Our latest and most popular piece, sir. Only $22.”

Arthur took the hat, turning it over in his hands. The black leather gleamed, unscathed and pristine, a far cry from his well-worn one. His eyes lingered on the rose corsage affixed to the middle, subtle but striking.

He stepped toward the mirror, setting the hat on his head, and studied his reflection. It was a fine hat

“Goes perfectly with your outfit, sir,” the shopkeeper remarked, his voice warm with flattery.

Arthur’s lips curled into a faint smile, but it quickly faded as he turned back to the shelves. “I saw a scarf, too. The one with the, uh... rose pattern.”

“Oh, the women’s one! Let me fetch it for you.”

The shopkeeper moved swiftly, his hands deftly retrieving the scarf. He prattled on about its fine quality and craftsmanship, but Arthur barely registered the words. They flew past him like horses leaping over a fence.

His thoughts were elsewhere, on you. On how the scarf would look wrapped around your neck, the way it might frame your face. The image was enough to push him to hand over the dollar bills for both items, not even noticing he’d given more than what was asked.

The shopkeeper’s voice called out behind him, but Arthur had already turned, mounting his Irish Draught, Clover, and riding off without a second glance.

He’d be wearing the rose hat, and you’d be wearing the scarf. The thought sat heavy in his chest, a strange mix of warmth and unease. Was he really going to give it to you now?

The wind tugged at his coat, but it couldn’t scatter the doubts and questions circling his mind. Was this... a confession?

Would you, confounding as you were, with your quicksilver moods and quiet distance, accept anything from him? You, who rarely spared him more than a glance, choosing instead to linger with the girls, Molly especially.

It ate at him sometimes, the way you seemed so unreachable. Always just out of his grasp, moving through the camp like a wisp of smoke, untouchable and wholly your own. And yet, he couldn’t stop watching. Couldn’t stop wanting.

You didn’t belong here, not like him, at least. You carried yourself with an air of defiance, tethered to the camp not by loyalty but necessity. A reluctant, bitter presence that had no reason to look twice at someone as rooted in this life as he was.

He saw the way you didn’t fit, the way you wanted to leave. And maybe that’s why the thought of you wearing the scarf--his scarf now--stirred something fierce inside him. The idea that, for once, he might give you something that tethered you to him, however briefly. Better than being tied to someone else. God, you have made him so selfish.

He clenched the scarf tighter, his jaw set. Maybe it wasn’t much, but it was a start.

He didn’t know much about you, except years ago when one day he came to the camp and discovered that Hosea and Bessie had found somewhere, taken you in, and raised you as their own as they always wanted a child. Nobody in the camp knew where they found you except perhaps Dutch but it was never told properly and he didn't pry much too, no one really did. Everything had been fine-peaceful, even, until Bessie passed.

After that, you’d wanted out. To leave the camp, carve out a life of your own, away from the shadow of the gang. But Hosea couldn’t let you go. He was your father, after all, the one who had protected you, shielding you from the blood and grime of their world just as Bessie had wished for.

And then there was himself whose hands were drenched in blood.

All of this screamed doom. Yet, he was doomed... doomed by his stupid feelings and that desperate longing to have someone to call his own, to have someone waiting for him. A foolish wish, considering the life he’d led, the blood he’d spilled, and the world he was tied to.

He slowed the stallion, the weight of bubbling anxiety and frustration pressing down on him. God, it was all a mess. Even if he could manage to stop thinking for a while, to quiet the storm in his head... when he'd return to the camp and see you again, just going about your business, sulking in some corner after an argument, or throwing those sharp, witty remarks, especially at Pearson as you cooked, that pull, that ache, would come rushing back.

Curiosity was the root of it all. He just wanted to know. Why? Why were you like this? Was it because of Molly, how she’d twisted your heart with her bitterness, making you turn your back on Dutch and the rest of the gang? Or did you simply not care at all about any of them?

He huffed at the thought of the stew you probably made, not out of love, but out of duty, or maybe a touch of malice. If it tasted so good, made with nothing but spite, he couldn’t help but wonder how much better it would be if you made it with love.

❀˖°

With a final pat to Clover’s neck, Arthur made his way back to camp, greeting the men as he passed. But there was something off, a silence hanging heavier than usual. He made his way toward Dutch, figuring he might have some thoughts on the score with Hosea.

"Dutch?"

The older man turned his head slightly, the faintest hint of a smile on his lips as he exhaled a cloud of smoke, his gaze fixed on the lake.

"Arthur."

Before Arthur could speak, Dutch continued, his tone slow, almost contemplative. "You know we’re a family, right? That everything we do is for each other, not just for ourselves..."

"Of course, Dutch," Arthur replied, trying to understand where this was coming from.

Dutch chuckled softly, the sound more gravel than humor, before crushing the cigar underfoot with a casual motion. "Some people, immature people, just can't seem to understand that."

With that, Dutch turned and walked back to his tent, leaving Arthur standing there.

"Is... something the matter?" Arthur asked, his voice laced with curiosity and concern.

"Thing? No, someone is the matter." Dutch’s words were sharp, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at Arthur.

Arthur gave him an impatient look, silently urging him to get to the point. This wasn’t how he’d planned to spend the evening. Not at all. He’d been hoping to retreat to his tent, to let his mind drift into thoughts of you, to finally sit and think about the gift he’d picked out for you, wondering if you'd even notice if you'd even like it. He could already picture himself, the soft scarf fabric between his fingers, tracing the rose pattern as his thoughts wandered, imagining what it would feel like to wrap it around your neck... his gift for you.

Dutch exhaled sharply, clearly agitated. "Hosea has let her get away with too much. You know what she did? When Hosea returned to drop off the share from your little endeavour, she-" He cut himself off with a frustrated growl. "She thought I wasn’t here. She came charging out, and started an argument, telling him he was doing the wrong thing--the wrong thing! Can you believe that?"

Dutch shook his head in disbelief. "She actually had the nerve to say that, Arthur. And that instead of doing this--helping us all--he should be out saving for them both and getting away from this life." He paused, his chest rising with each breath. "I swear, Arthur... turning one of my most trusted men, a friend, against me? Over some damn bills? But Hosea... being Hosea...what does he do? Runs out of camp to bring her back."

"So what did you suggest?!" Hosea’s voice cut through the tension as he entered the tent, his eyes flashing with frustration. "Let my daughter go out in the wild alone? At night? How could you do that, say 'get lost' just like that? Knowing she will take it seriously? She grew up right in front of you!"

Dutch’s face tightened at Hosea’s outburst, his anger simmering. "Oh, so it hurt her ego, huh?! Like I care. For me , nothing’s worse than a selfish, disloyal piece of trash that you just had to take in because-"

"Enough! No!" Hosea snapped, his voice sharp as a whip. "Don’t you dare bring that up."

With a heavy sigh, Hosea turned on his heel, walking away from the confrontation, leaving Dutch to seethe in silence.

Dutch watched him go, muttering under his breath, "Take those damn dollars you bestowed on us, Hosea, and gift her a house, for all I care! Fine by my ass!"

Arthur’s mind was a tangled mess, unable to process the whirlwind of events. So much had happened, so many emotions he could hardly keep up. Confusion clouded his mind, frustration clawed at his chest, exhaustion weighed down on his bones, and fury burned in his gut. But none of it made sense. He couldn't even figure out who--or what--his anger was really directed at.

Was it you? Was it your reckless, thoughtless actions that set this all in motion? Or was it Dutch's words and how casually he was ready to kick a girl out, kick you out, just like that?

It was at both.

It was both, but more than anything, it was you. Because you’d started it, hadn’t you? You always had a problem with Dutch’s authority, even when you kept your sweet little mouth shut. It was in your eyes, those eyes. The eyes he could never get enough of, the ones he craved to meet his own. If only for a second. A second where the same longing, the same hunger for something more, reflected back at him.

But instead, there you were. Acting like everything was just... nothing. Like none of it mattered. Like he didn’t matter. You went out there, reckless, careless, as if you could just walk away from everything. From him. How fucking could you? What if it had gotten worse and someone just decided to harm you in the camp and even Hosea couldn't do anything-

"Arthur?"

"U-Um, yes?"

Dutch’s sharp gaze fixed on him, deliberate and piercing. He let the silence stretch just long enough to unsettle, his expression unreadable. "What do you think? Hm?"

"About...what happened? I--it’s... yeah, she shouldn’t have said that," Arthur muttered, the words clumsy and heavy on his tongue.

Dutch hummed, a slow and pointed sound, as though weighing Arthur’s response and finding it just barely acceptable. Arthur didn’t wait for more. He muttered a farewell and slipped out of the tent, the cool air doing little to clear the haze in his mind.

His eyes found Hosea almost immediately. The old man was sitting on his bedroll, his posture stiff and guarded. His eyes screamed of hurt, Dutch's words had affected him deeply. After some seconds his eyes would flicker at your tent. The sight made Arthur’s chest ache. Hosea’s protectiveness was undeniable.

Because no matter how much Hosea wanted to protect you, Arthur wanted something deeper, something more selfish.

What the hell am I even thinking? he chastised himself, shaking his head. She’s not my responsibility. She’s not mine.

He wanted to say something to Hosea, to offer comfort or at least commiseration, but his feet wouldn’t move. Instead, he turned away, retreating to his own tent with a heavy sigh. Once inside, he shut the flaps, placed his hat on the table, and dropped onto the cot with a grunt of annoyance.

Reaching for the scarf, Arthur held it above him, the dim light tracing over its soft, silken material. He let it graze his face, the faint scent of the shop lingering on it, but it was his mind that did the real work. He imagined the fabric tangled in your hair, how it would feel wrapped around you as he held you close. He could almost feel the tickle of those strands against his skin, his breath hot against the side of your neck.

The thought of having you here, in his arms, that close, his hands gripping you, pulling you to him, ignited something fierce inside him. It wasn’t just the touch. It was the idea that you could be his, fully, if only you’d let him. He clenched the scarf tighter, frustration and something darker simmering in his chest.

With that vision playing in his mind, he let the scarf fall, draping it across his face and chest, the weight of it somehow both comforting and unbearable.

Lying there in the dark, his lips brushed over the fabric absently, and a bitter smile tugged at his lips. It was maddening, the way you consumed his thoughts without even trying. Even now, with frustration still simmering under his skin, all he wanted was to see you, to watch your expression, even if it meant enduring one of your scowls.

You little menace, I swear one of these days I might just lose my patience.

But you didn’t care, did you? You’d stormed out, reckless and fiery, with no thought of him or anyone, not even yourself. And here he was, lying alone, haunted by the feeling of silk and the ghost of a life he’d never have. With a frustrated grunt, Arthur shifted onto his side, clutching it closer, the tension in his body growing. He couldn't help but think if he had been here earlier, he would have tied you to him, not out of malice, but out of desperate, aching need. The kind of need that he couldn’t push down, no matter how much he tried. The kind that made him crave something from you that you didn’t even know you had to give. Something more. Something that would finally make you stay.

Sleep wouldn’t come easily.

He wanted you to feel it, to bear the same punishment he carried every night. To know what it was like to lie awake, tormented by the thought of someone you couldn’t have, unable to chase the fleeting peace of sleep because they haunted you in ways you couldn’t name. He wanted you to understand how it felt to be unraveled by longing, to have your very being tethered to someone who wouldn’t even look your way.

But then...what was he even saying?

Why did he keep forgetting the truth? That you didn’t deserve his anger, his silent pleas for recognition. That the fault wasn’t yours for not seeing him, no, it was his for daring to want you in the first place. Of course, you wouldn’t ever look at him that way. He was older, too far removed from your world, your interests, your life. And he knew, deep down, that you wouldn’t ever imagine, not in a thousand years, that someone like him could ever be interested in you. Even he could admit it, this was all stupid, unexpected, and nothing more than a fantasy.

And still, knowing this, he couldn’t stop himself. The heart never makes sense, does it? It doesn’t listen to reason or its owner, dragging you where it pleases, no matter the cost. Even he, a man who prided himself on control, had been reduced to a mere servant of its whims.

His fingers curled around the scarf as if it could somehow hold the pieces of him together. As if its softness could soothe the fire that burned inside him, one that you had lit and would never know.

Meanwhile, you lay in bed, staring at the worn canvas of the tent above. You weren’t leaving this tent. Not now. Not later. Not for anyone. They could all be damned for all you cared, it had all been damned ever since your mother died.

She was your anchor, the one thing tethering you to any sense of stability. And the moment she was gone, the world had cracked open, spilling truths you’d long suspected but never wanted confirmed. You weren’t really theirs. You weren’t their daughter.

Hosea refused to tell you why or how you ended up here, tucked into the folds of their chaos. But the truth was, you didn’t care anymore. You were tired. Tired of the games, the blind loyalty to Dutch’s every whim, the endless cycle of running and stealing and pretending any of it had meaning.

All you wanted was a normal life, a roof over your head that didn’t leak when it rained, a place where fear didn’t cling to the walls like smoke. But that dream stayed out of reach, just like everything else. Hosea wouldn’t let you go. He was scared to lose you, to lose something that was never even his.

Pathetic.

That’s what it was. That’s what they all were. And maybe Molly was right, Dutch’s charm was nothing but poison, bleeding into everything and everyone

"Bastard..."

You wanted a job, something stable to call your own. Or, if that wasn’t in the cards, maybe just to find some rich fool to marry so you could finally live in peace. Far from all this chaos. But no, these people couldn’t leave well enough alone, they had to loot every rich soul they came across.

Leave someone for me to marry at least, you scoffed bitterly, lips curling in a faint, humourless smile.

Sigh.

Dream on, (Y/N). Dream on.

Hosea’s familiar voice drifted in from nearby, low and steady as he spoke with Abigail. No doubt she was serving him food since you hadn’t bothered to. The sound grated on you, making you roll your eyes and turn to the other side of your bedroll. It wouldn’t be long, two days, maximum, before Hosea came to lecture you, or worse, dragged you out of this tent himself.

He was always so damn strict when it came to pulling your weight.

But right now?

Screw it. Screw him. Screw all of them.

Let them fend for themselves.

❀˖°

"Why do you do all this?"

Not did that. Do this.

Arthur’s voice was low, almost fragile, but there was a weight to it. A question layered with meanings he couldn’t bring himself to say outright. He just hoped you’d hear it, the real question, underneath the words. His gaze stayed fixed on the worn soles of your shoes, watching as you scrubbed at the dishes with an edge of restrained aggression that didn’t go unnoticed.

The sight would be funny to anyone in the camp right now. He was reduced to barely speaking above a whisper when it came to you, his usual steady tone faltering in a way it never did with anyone else. Whilst you were the only one who wasn't afraid of even him. While others tiptoed around him, wary of the weight his presence carried, you treated him with the same indifference, the same biting sharpness that you spared for everyone else.

Dammit, he fucking loved it.

It wasn’t fear he wanted from you, not respect or even obedience. It was something, anything, that showed he wasn’t just another face in the camp to you. It made him feel like that was all he was. Just another man under Dutch rule.

And it was maddening.

"I could ask the same question to everyone here," you replied, voice steady but sharp, like a blade dulled just enough to wound without cutting too deep.

"But you know the answer," he countered, quieter now, his words almost swallowed by the night air.

"And you do too," you shot back, turning slightly to glance over your shoulder, "but here you are. Playing the mediator of sorts."

Arthur exhaled sharply, his gaze falling to the ground as if the weight of your words had struck him in the chest. For someone who claimed to want nothing to do with this place, with these people, you had an uncanny way of stirring up trouble within it.

Perhaps you wanted that. You wanted to get kicked out.

He wanted to throw the thought out into the open, let it snap between you like a taut rope. But the bitterness in your tone, the heaviness in your stance, made him hesitate. Throwing oil on the fire wasn’t going to do either of you any good, not today.

"You’re wasting your breath on someone who isn't listening to whatever you have to say."

"Then I’ll just keep talkin’ until you do," he shot back, his voice low but resolute.

"Do whatever, I don't care. This place is full of people barking orders and trying to be big. Pft. How adorable."

At least spare me a glance. Just one.

"If you don't care about yourself, then at least do it for Hosea." His voice was strained, laced with a desperation he couldn't quite hide.

That made you turn, finally, but the look you gave him was anything but kind. Your gaze was sharp, cutting, laced with a mix of disdain and challenge. "Oh, so now you're worried about me being a bad daughter or something?" you said, your tone dripping with sarcasm. "I wonder if you all think the same way when you're out there making other daughters cry, making women widows and destroying families without a second thought."

This was the longest conversation you both had. Ever. And damn it was a wrecked one.

Your lips curled into a humorless smile as you snorted, mocking. "Tsk, I bet that's an exception, right? Family only exists here." You pitched your voice to mimic Dutch's smooth drawl, the mockery biting. Then, as if dismissing him entirely, you turned back to the washing, your hands moving with renewed fervor, the sound of water splashing filling the silence.

Arthur stood there, jaw tight, the weight of your words sinking into him like stones in a river.

He stood rooted in place, his mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air. He wanted to say something, needed to say something, but the words lodged themselves somewhere in his throat, refusing to come out. Maybe it was the truth in your words that had him stunned.

Before Arthur could find a way to steer the conversation elsewhere, Hosea stepped into the fray, his tone calm yet firm. “(Y/N)...dear, today or tomorrow, you’ve got to apologize to Dutch and bury this hatchet.”

Arthur cleared his throat awkwardly, looking off to the side, the tension in the air thick enough to choke on. His heart thumped unevenly as he anticipated your response.

You turned to Hosea sharply, your expression a volatile mix of shock and simmering fury. “You want me to apologize to him?! For what?” Your voice rose, cutting through the camp’s quiet. “Just for talking to you about something I’ve wanted to for so damn long?!”

Arthur’s head snapped back in your direction. He could see the fire in your eyes now, blazing and relentless, and it struck something in him. That fire, he both loved and hated it, craved it and feared it. It was the very thing that made you impossible to ignore, yet it was also what pushed you farther from him. And still, he couldn’t help but think how maddeningly beautiful you looked right now, even if it tore him apart to watch you lock yourself away further from everyone, including him.

Hosea sighed, his calm facade slipping just slightly. “It’s not about what was said, it’s about how it was said. Dutch... he’s not perfect, but he’s trying. We all are.”

Your laugh was hollow, bitter. “Trying? Trying to keep us all in line like dogs? Sure, that sounds like a real noble effort.” You crossed your arms, your gaze icy as it met Hosea’s. “If you want to grovel to Dutch, go ahead. But don’t drag me into it.”

Arthur shifted uncomfortably, his fingers brushing against his holster as if searching for something to ground himself. He knew that your words were not only directed at Hosea but him too.

“You’ve got too much pride,” Hosea muttered, shaking his head in exasperation.

“And you’ve got too much blind loyalty,” you shot back, unrelenting.

Hosea held your gaze, his own softening but remaining firm. "Look, let me say this again, this isn’t about the words you said, it’s about the way you said them. You can stand by your beliefs without tearing everyone else down in the process, sweetheart."

You scoffed, crossing your arms defensively. "So what? Dutch can tear everyone down, but when someone calls him out, it’s suddenly a problem?! That’s rich."

"It doesn't matter!" Hosea’s voice rose slightly before he caught himself, lowering it to a pleading tone. "And quiet down, don’t create a scene, again. Have mercy on your old man, at least. For now, we’re in the camp, and as long as we are, Dutch shouldn’t be disrespected like that. You can be as angry as you want with me, but please, just apologize to him. He’s always been like an uncle to you... (Y/N)."

You let out a bitter scoff, your lips curling in defiance. "And he's the one who clearly doesn't want me here but--fine...fine Papa," your hands slammed the plate down in the basin. "I’ll do whatever you say. Because, apparently, my words are nothing but bullets of disloyalty now. The same words that were once adorable wishes to you."

Your words hit like a lash, leaving Hosea standing frozen as you stormed off toward your tent. Arthur watched the older man, his chest tightening when he saw the same hurt settle in Hosea’s eyes, the kind of pain that only festers in the heart of someone who loves deeply and feels powerless.

"I wish..." Hosea began, his voice barely above a whisper, trembling under the weight of emotions he rarely let show. "I wish I never told her the truth... that she’s not my child. Maybe it messed her up... It broke me more than it broke her."

Arthur stepped forward, his boots crunching softly against the dirt as he hesitated for a moment before closing the distance. Hosea turned his head slightly, and Arthur's heart clenched when he saw the glint of tears streaking down the older man’s face. It was the second time Arthur had witnessed Hosea cry, the first being after Bessie's death.

"It... it terrified me," Hosea whispered, voice thick with emotion. "I kept thinkin' last night, what if one day I'm not here, and Dutch just turns on her like that? Sure, the women might object, but that’s it. They’re powerless against him. No one would stand up for her... and she'd be all alone..." He sniffed, wiping his eyes, trying to regain control. "And that’s what broke me, Arthur."

It broke me too...

Arthur stepped closer, his voice low but steady. "Jus' don't think about all that happened. Forget it and don't worry Dutch will forget about it. He won’t hold onto it, not like that. And she... she’ll forget too. You’ll see."

Hosea let out a dry chuckle, wiping a stray tear from his weathered cheek. "She? I don’t think so. Not about this. When it comes to this topic, she won’t let it go." He paused, leaning heavily against the wooden counter, his shoulders sagging as though the weight of years pressed harder in that moment. "I want it too, Arthur. The house, the quiet life… I want to give her that. But it’s not easy. It’s not."

He gestured vaguely toward the camp, the flickering lantern light catching in his tired eyes. "Leaving all this behind, all of you, it’d feel like... like a betrayal. Even if I left on a good note, it wouldn’t sit right. Do you get what I mean?"

Arthur nodded, his posture relaxing now that you weren’t there to sharpen the tension in the air. "Yeah," he said softly. "I think we all... kind of want that." His words trailed off, his thoughts unraveling into something more personal. Something he couldn’t bring himself to say.

I do. I want it... with you. Maybe. No...

Only.

Hosea turned his head to study him, an unspoken question hanging in the silence. Arthur caught the look and quickly shrugged it off, letting out a small exhale as if to clear the thought entirely. "Jus’ don’t let Dutch know," he muttered with a faint smirk. Hosea returned the gesture. " 'Course not. Let's go have some coffee, boy." He reached to pat the man's shoulder but Arthur’s hand shot out, grabbing Hosea’s with a suddenness that made the older man freeze. His eyes, wide and questioning, met Arthur’s with a flicker of concern, but also an understanding that something serious was coming.

"Um--there’s... something that I want to..." Arthur’s voice faltered as he cleared his throat. His gaze darted to the ground, to the side, anywhere but Hosea’s eyes. The same sheepish, uncertain look Hosea had seen a hundred times, but now it felt different.

Hosea arched a brow, waiting for him to continue. "Well, go on then. What did you do?"

Arthur’s mind was a mess, his thoughts tangled with nerves and fear. What the hell am I doing? His heart raced as his hand shook slightly. What the hell am I about to do?

His breath caught as he reached into the inside of his jacket, fingers brushing the fabric of the chest pocket where he’d hidden it. It was a decision that had plagued him for days, one that felt impossible to avoid now.

He pulled out the scarf--silken, covered in his scent, soft to the touch, but now burning in his hand like a symbol of everything he couldn’t say.

 For her.

It’s for her.

"I- I bought this..." he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, as if saying the words aloud made them too real, too vulnerable.

Hosea’s face was unreadable at first, but then he saw the scarf, and a brief chuckle escaped him, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "I thought it was clear I’m a man, Arthur."

The joke hit Arthur like a slap, and he couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten. God, this was harder than he’d imagined. His throat went dry, his fingers tightening around the scarf as if it could somehow anchor him, give him the courage to keep going. But he was drowning in hesitation.

Arthur’s cheeks flushed a deep pink, his entire body trembling with an emotion he couldn’t quite name. The thought of Hosea’s reaction, the uncertainty of what might follow this moment, made him question if he’d just made the biggest mistake of his life. Would Hosea kill him? Would he laugh at him? Or worse, would he pity him?

Hosea’s eyes bore into him, patient, yet expectant. "Well, boy?"

Arthur’s mouth went dry, but he forced the words out. "It’s for... (Y/N)."

For a moment, there was a stillness, and then to his shock, Hosea’s expression softened, eyes widening, almost in a kind of jubilant surprise. The older man’s lips curled into a smile, the warmth of it almost disarming.

Hosea took the scarf from Arthur, his hands gentle as he examined the gift. A sense of something unspoken passed between them, something Arthur couldn’t quite name, but it was there in the way Hosea’s gaze softened. "Really?"

Arthur barely had the strength to nod, his eyes avoiding Hosea’s, his face burning with embarrassment and a kind of fear he couldn’t even process. Was this really happening? He was spilling it to him, of all people, your father.

He nodded again, his voice barely a whisper. "Yeah..."

Hosea’s hand reached out to pat Arthur’s arm in an almost fatherly gesture, the older man’s voice low and steady. "Well then... I’ll be sure to give it to her." He smiled, a knowing warmth in his eyes that made Arthur’s chest tighten in an unfamiliar way. "Thank you. Y’know... you’re the only one I trust after me."

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat, the words sinking in like the heaviest of weights. It felt like he’d won a game, but one he hadn’t even realized he was playing.

Arthur’s throat tightened at the thought, his breath catching. He hadn’t even realized how much he’d attached to the simple scarf until now. It was just a piece of fabric, yet the meaning behind it had become so much more than he’d ever expected.

"Just... tell her to, you know... don’t burn it at least," he muttered, his chuckle awkward and thin, as if trying to deflect the intensity of his own feelings. But the words weren’t a joke. They were the truth, and they hit him harder than he wanted to admit.

The image burned in his mind, you, angry, perhaps unaware, throwing it into the campfire or tearing it apart with a pair of scissors. The thought was almost unbearable, each possibility worse than the last. The way his hands clenched into fists at his sides showed just how deep the fear ran.

He couldn’t let that happen.

If you did something like that, if you so much as damaged it, he... he didn’t know what he’d do. His thoughts spiraled out of control. Would he lash out? Would he burn the whole camp down if it meant getting you back, getting that thing back, untainted by your disregard? The intensity of his protectiveness shocked him, made his pulse quicken.

He forced himself to exhale, slow and controlled, but the tightness in his chest remained.

"Tell her," he repeated softly, though his voice cracked with something that felt more desperate than he'd intended.

"I will, I will. Don't you worry."

❀˖°

You nearly sewed your own finger, but kept going, the needle trembling slightly in your hand as you tried to focus. Jack sure knew how to break his damn button every week. But you never minded of course. That adorable little kid is like your brother. You couldn't remember the last time you’d felt calm enough to sit still and stitch something--anything--together without your mind wandering.

"I’m proud of you, y'know. You apologized. Thank you." Hosea’s voice broke through the silence, warm but layered with something else, something like relief, as he sipped his coffee. His words sank into the quiet of the tent, the flickering lamplight casting soft shadows over his face.

"Of course you are."

His response was a low chuckle, tinged with affection. He knew you loved him and valued his advice,. His mind played the memories of the times when you always waited worriedly whenever he went on jobs and made sure he was looked after in the camp. He couldn't be proud to have you as his daughter even if both of you clashed at moments like these.

You didn’t give him the satisfaction of meeting his eyes. Even if you’d done it for Hosea, for your own reasons, you couldn't shake the irritation that still lingered beneath your skin. But he was happy, and that was enough for him. His approval always mattered to you, more than you’d ever admit.

The silence stretched out between you as you continued to sew, the rhythmic motion almost comforting. But Hosea’s gaze shifted, the way it always did when something was on his mind. He glanced at the closed flap of the tent, his attention drawn to the world outside. Then, after a moment, he spoke again.

"Here," Hosea said, holding the item out to you, his expression tight, as if he wasn't entirely sure how you would take it. You eyed the scarf suspiciously before taking it, your fingers brushing against the fabric, your thoughts clouded.

"Wow, thanks...it's so pretty," you muttered, still trying to piece together what was happening. Though genuinely happy to receive a beautiful gift.

Hosea shifted on his feet, averting his gaze, as if the words were stuck in his throat. After a long pause, you saw the truth flicker in his eyes.

"It's...from Arthur."

"Wha---huh? Why?" you asked, the suspicion in your tone now more palpable than ever.

Hosea looked away again, the embarrassment and discomfort evident in his posture, but the message was clear. You felt the shift in the air, a kind of pressure that built between you both.

Your blood ran cold, and you couldn't stop the words that spilled from your lips. "Wha- excuse me??! Did you... did you just sell me or something?!"

The words landed, and Hosea's head snapped back, his face darkening, his jaw tight with frustration.

"What even---Are you out of your mind?" he shot back, his voice low, heated now. "Listen to me. I am not going to be here for you forever, and I worry for you, even if you think I don't! And him, he’s the only one I would trust to-"

"What are you on about?!" you cut him off, your voice rising with anger. "Am I some child that needs to be babysat?! I won’t stay here forever, either, Papa! Hell, I won't! And you’re here finding ways to bind me here?!" You could feel the heat rising in your chest, the frustration turning into something you couldn’t hold in any longer. "I understand everything! Don’t think I’m a fool!"

You couldn’t stop yourself. With a burst of pent-up fury, you threw the scarf on the floor, your hands shaking with the force of your frustration. "Handing me to some old lap dog, you’re out of your mind! I can't believe it, have some shame!."

For a moment, there was nothing but silence between you both, as Hosea stood there, his hand still frozen in the air where he'd offered you the scarf, his eyes full of something raw, hurt, frustration, confusion. Hosea opened his mouth, but no words came. His gaze softened, his lips parted as if he were trying to find something to say. But the words you had just spoken hung heavy in the air, too loud and too real to take back now.

"You think I want this for you?" he finally whispered, more to himself than to you, his voice strained with frustration. "I just want you safe, damn it. Safe."

"If you want that, then find someone else, someone normal. A proper suitor, maybe? A decent citizen? Like Mama would have wanted!"

"And you think a 'normal citizen,' or the rich kind you dream of marrying, won’t ask about our background? Won’t dig into our truth? You want something built on lies, instead of what’s real? The most honest person you could have is right here, willing to do anything for you. I raised that boy, and I damn well know he will never disappoint me."

You rolled your eyes, fed up with another one of his lectures. "Yeah, because after spending half my life with outlaws, I've definitely lost the chance to be with anyone 'normal,' haven’t I? Then I'd rather die alone! Every man here is raised by you in some way but that doesn't mean that I have to trust them let alone be with THEM! You are being delusional! Whatever--just give it back, for God's sake," you snapped, your voice thick with frustration as you turned away, trying to put distance between yourself and the scarf as if it could somehow erase the conversation.

Hosea didn't move to leave. He just stood there. After a long pause, he shook his head gently, as if reconciling himself with something painful. "No, no I won't. Gifts are not meant to be... given back."

He picked the scarf up, his hands cradling it carefully as if it were something fragile, and for a moment, you could see him lost in thought, his eyes distant, remembering something else.

"I remember... the first time I held you in my arms," he murmured, his voice softer now, the anger and frustration fading into something more vulnerable. "You were my gift, too. You still are."

Your heart stuttered for a moment, the memory of being held like that, cradled in his arms when you were small, a time before all the complexities of your relationship had gotten so tangled. The warmth of his embrace felt distant now, like a fading echo.

Or it's just his way of manipulation.

"Papa, please, why are you even siding with him-"

"Enough, because I know better and I know you better," he interrupted, his voice firm this time, though it cracked slightly with emotion. "Just keep it." His words hung in the air, and he turned to leave the tent but paused just before he stepped outside.

He looked back, his gaze meeting yours for a moment, something flickered in his eyes, something deep, filled with regret, but also resolve. "If I couldn't, or am unable to give you the life you want," he said softly, each word deliberate, "my heart says he will."

You shook your head, your voice bitter as it escaped you. "Oh please, wait till you see when he kicks me out one day on your beloved Dutch's orders."

Hosea didn’t respond right away. He just looked at you, his expression a mixture of sorrow and a kind of quiet resignation, before he finally turned and walked out of the tent.

He would never be able to make you understand that Arthur would be the last person to do that.

❀˖°

The days that followed felt heavier, like a fog had settled around you. Arthur's presence, once easily ignored, now seemed to infiltrate every corner of your space. He started lingering around more often, always appearing at the most inconvenient times when you and Hosea were sharing a quiet meal or having (tea/coffee). At first, you thought it was just a coincidence, maybe just a shared moment of camaraderie, but the more it happened, the more uncomfortable it made you.

Arthur wasn’t doing anything overtly wrong, of course. He sat quietly, politely joining the conversation when spoken to, sipping coffee, offering a nod here and there.

It bothered you. You loathed it.

Is this some sort of indirect courting? Were you imagining things, or was this his way of trying to ingratiate himself with you? Was he trying to get Hosea's approval? To intimidate you? Or, perhaps, was it something more direct? Was he trying to... what, win you over? Hosea, for all his kindness and wisdom, didn’t mind Arthur’s company, even encouraged it.

The words Hosea had said echoed in your mind, lingering like smoke. "If I couldn’t, or am unable to give you the life you want, my heart says he will."

You scoffed internally, trying to push it away, but the more you thought about it, the more it gnawed at you. Was that really true? Hosea seemed to believe it, but you weren’t so sure. Arthur? The golden boy of Dutch’s gang? Or was Hosea just trying to soften the blow, making it sound like there was hope when in reality there was none?

You rolled your eyes, staring out into the distance. Why would he go after you? Out of all the people in the camp, why you?

It didn’t make sense. None of it did.

Still, a small part of you wondered... Should you ask him?

But what if you were wrong? What if Hosea was just speaking out of some misplaced hope? You didn’t know. And that uncertainty, it made you uncomfortable. Because you weren’t one to be uncertain. You didn't like it.

He just wants someone young to play with now that he's lonely.

Arthur stared at the journal in his lap, the unfinished sketch of eyes glaring up at him, imperfect and frustrating. He let out a slow, almost imperceptible sigh, his pencil hovering over the page, but he couldn’t seem to get it right. The eyes, those eyes, kept staring back at him, their gaze too empty, too raw. The frown on his face deepened as he bit his lip, his mind spiraling in frustration.

But that frown, that damn cute frown, it wouldn't fade. It never did. The curve of your lips when you were irritated or deep in thought, the way your brows furrowed as you focused on something else... It was almost intoxicating how endearing it was. Arthur couldn’t stop thinking about it, and worse, he couldn’t stop wanting to be the one to make that frown disappear.

If only you'd look at him once with a smile, he thought bitterly, the words tasting both sweet and impossible.

Because deep down, Arthur knew, he'd do anything. He’d break the sky and bring the world to your feet if you ever gave him that smile. 

He longed for that.

But no, that’s just a dream, Arthur thought with a resigned sigh, closing his journal and resting his hands on his knees. You wouldn’t even notice me that way. I'm just some damn fool in Dutch’s gang.

❀˖°

It was another evening, quiet, save for the soft rustle of leaves and the occasional crackle of the campfire. You were chopping vegetables at the makeshift table, the rhythmic thud of the knife against the wood filling the air. Hosea sat a few feet away on an overturned crate, sipping his coffee with a watchful but calm expression.

Arthur appeared at the edge of the clearing, his hat tilted low and his hands shoved into his pockets. You barely glanced at him, focused on your task, but the tension in his gait was impossible to ignore. Hosea caught it too, his brow raising ever so slightly as Arthur cleared his throat.

“Evenin’,” Arthur mumbled, his voice unusually hesitant.

Hosea nodded in acknowledgment, setting his cup down. “Evening, Arthur.”

Arthur glanced at you, then back at Hosea. His jaw worked for a moment, as though wrestling with what

And then you heard the words. Full of hesitation.

“I was wonderin’... if I could take her out. Just, ya know, get her outta this camp for a bit. I figure... she could use some air.” His words hung in the air, but his eyes seemed distant, almost like he was hoping for a miracle.

You stiffened immediately, your brows furrowing in disbelief. You hadn’t been in the mood for any of this, and you weren’t sure how you felt about Arthur’s proposal. "I am absolutely fine staying here, got it?"

Arthur’s jaw tightened as he stared at your hunched frame, your defiance practically radiating off you. His voice softened, though there was a trace of frustration. “You’re not fine. Not always, and not here.”

You turned sharply, glaring at him with a fire that made his breath hitch for a moment. “What do you know about what I need, huh? You think you can just waltz in here and decide things for me? I said I am not going so I am not!”

Arthur took a step back, but not because he was intimidated. He rubbed the back of his neck, searching for the right words. “Ain’t about me decidin’ nothin’. You don’t even gotta like me. But you deserve better than to keep hiding in this damn camp, snappin' at everyone tryin' to care for you.”

 "You’ve got some nerve asking me that. I don't need anyone taking me anywhere. Just 'cause you brought me a damn scarf doesn’t mean I owe you a thing."

Arthur seemed to bristle at your sharp reaction, but Hosea leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, studying the both of you with a quiet smile. He wasn’t offended, he understood.

Your glare didn’t falter, but Hosea cleared his throat before you could respond. “He’s got a point, you know.” His tone was calm, measured. “A little ride won’t kill you.”

You crossed your arms. “I said no Papa and that means, NO."

Arthur stepped closer again, his voice lower now, almost pleading. “I ain't Dutch. I ain’t gonna force ya into anything. But sometimes, you gotta trust someone’s tryin’ to help, even if it don’t make sense at first.. Just...give me a chance...please.”

Before you could reply, the unmistakable sound of Dutch’s boots approached. “Well, isn’t this cozy,” Dutch drawled, stepping into the space with a deliberate slowness that made everyone tense. He looked from Arthur to you, a sly smile curling on his lips. “Arthur, you’re not causin’ any trouble now, are you?”

Arthur’s shoulders squared. “Just talkin’. Nothin’ more.”

Dutch’s gaze flicked between the two of you, his smile growing sharper. “Talkin’, huh? Always knew you had a soft spot, Arthur. You got that puppy-dog look about you. But...you sure you’re barkin’ up the right tree here?”

The air went cold, and you froze, your grip tightening on the knife in your hand. Dutch’s words stung, a mixture of insult and insinuation that made your face burn with anger and shame.

“Dutch,” Hosea interjected, standing up from his crate, his tone calm but firm. “C'mon...don't say that."

Dutch laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll leave y’all to it. Just a little friendly advice, Arthur. Watch where you step. You wouldn’t want to trip.” With that, he turned on his heel and sauntered off, his laughter echoing behind him. Hosea shot Arthur a brief look before following after Dutch, likely to smooth things over or ensure the situation didn’t escalate further.

Arthur lingered awkwardly near the table. His fingers toyed with the brim of his hat, his eyes darting between you and the ground as though he couldn’t quite decide where to settle. He hesitated, his hand lifting slightly as if to reach out to you, his face a mix of guilt and frustration. “Look, I-”

You sighed, stabbing the knife into the cutting board and crossing your arms. "What? Just go away."

Arthur flinched, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Didn’t mean to bother you,” he muttered, his voice low and almost apologetic. “Just...ignore what he said.”

"But what he said was right."

"No, it wasn't." He looked up then, the defensiveness clear as day in his eyes. “It ain’t like that,” he said, his voice firmer now. “Dutch--he just likes to run his mouth. Don’t mean nothin’.”

“Doesn’t it?” you challenged, your tone sharp. “You didn’t exactly deny it back there.”

Arthur hesitated, his jaw tightening as though he was weighing his next words carefully. Finally, he let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping. “Look, I ain’t tryin’ to make your life harder. I thought maybe... I don’t know. Thought you’d wanna get out for a bit. Thought it might help.”

“Help with what, exactly?” You gestured around you, exasperated.

“I just… I thought it’d be nice. Thought maybe you’d... enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it?” you repeated, incredulous. “Arthur, I don’t even know what you’re trying to do here. Why you’re trying so hard.”

His jaw tightened, his hands balling into fists at his sides before relaxing again. “Maybe I am tryin’,” he admitted, his voice low and uneven. “Don’t know why you think that’s a crime.”

“I didn’t ask for any of it,” you said, your tone quieter now, less biting. “I didn’t ask for you to care.”

He laughed softly, a bitter sound that barely reached his lips. “Yeah. I know. But it ain’t somethin’ I can help. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“You’re making it more complicated, you know.”

“Maybe,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I’d rather be here makin’ things complicated than not be here at all.”

The weight of his words hung in the air between you, suffocating and undeniable. You didn’t know what to do with it, with him, with any of this. So you did what you always did, you deflected.

“I’ve got work to do,” you said, pushing off the crate and brushing past him towards the wagon. As you walked past him, your voice cut through the heavy silence, sharp and low enough that he almost missed it.

"Why don’t you take all this energy and use it on something worthwhile? Perhaps finding the right tree." You chuckled tauntingly as you went inside the wagon.

He didn’t try to stop you, didn’t say anything else, not wanting to draw too much attention to the scene. With a heavy sigh, he decided to go for a ride.

❀˖°

When he returned later that night, most of the camp was either finishing up their dinner, indulging in late-night games, or sitting quietly by the fire.

He didn’t sense your presence anywhere, and he figured you were probably in your tent, finally savoring some solitude after a long day of work and being surrounded by the others. But he also knew that Dutch’s words from earlier weren’t easy to shake off, especially for you. Your blood was likely still boiling. Worse, you must be hurt too.

Taking advantage of everyone being preoccupied, his steps naturally gravitated toward your tent, your sanctuary. A place he had only ever dared to dream of being close to. What was it like inside? He often wondered. Would the air inside smell faintly of you? Would he ever be someone who belonged in your space? He imagined a future where he could step into it freely, with no hesitation, no uncertainty. A time when he wouldn’t even need to knock when he could enter with a smile on his face and a gift in his hand, your relationship so natural and warm that it felt like home.

But maybe that was the point. You didn’t need anyone in that space, and a part of him liked that. Liked that you existed here, hidden away, out of reach of the world’s harsh gaze. It wasn’t fair or right, but it soothed something deep and primal in him. If he had his way, the world would never touch you. You’d stay tucked away where only he could find you as if this tent was built for the two of you alone. Still, it wasn’t enough. He wanted to see you in his world, in his tent, on his bed, wrapped up in everything that was his.

Hidden away, yes, but hidden with him.

He cleared his throat, his eyes too shy to even glance fully inside, though the tent flap hung half-open.

"Who is it now?"

"Me... I--uh...can I?"

A soft, irritated sound followed, then your voice gave reluctant confirmation. “Leave the flap wide open.”

He obeyed, pushing the fabric aside, the cool night air spilling in. Then he stood there like a fool, frozen for several seconds as his eyes found you sitting on the edge of the cot, one leg bouncing with impatience. Enchanting nonetheless.

“Well? What now?”

The sharpness of your tone jolted him back to his senses. For a moment, he still couldn’t believe you’d allowed him inside. Maybe you were too tired to step out yourself, but he couldn’t help feeling grateful anyway.

Taking a cautious step closer, his gaze drifted and landed on the scarf in the corner, dangling from the back of a chair.

At least you kept it.

You kept it.

That was enough for him.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he dropped to his knee in front of you, his height aligning perfectly with yours now. The act wasn’t one of submission but of devotion, a silent acknowledgment that your hatred, cold and unyielding, loomed larger than the fire of his love. And yet, he stayed there, resolute.

If he had to kneel to earn even a fragment of your gaze, he would. If being this close meant bearing the weight of your disdain, so be it. Because in this moment, it wasn’t his pride that mattered, it was you.

Your first instinct was shock. His sudden closeness threw you off, but as the silence stretched and his hesitation became almost unbearable, you decided to speak, cutting through the tension.

“I think you’re only acting like this because Dutch reckons it’s the best way to keep me in line. So that you can scare me or something. Y’know, keep me stuck in this camp so Pa’s happy, Dutch is happy, and my life here is just that much more miserable.”

Arthur’s brows furrowed immediately, his expression a mix of frustration and disbelief. “No,” he said firmly, his voice quiet but resolute. “It ain’t like that. It ain’t even close to that.”

He leaned forward slightly, his hands resting lightly on his knees as he searched for the right words. “Do I look like someone who’d think that way? Or...who’d go along with somethin’ like that? Do you really think Hosea would do that to you? Think about you like that?” His voice softened at the edges, but there was an undeniable conviction in it.

“You ain’t some animal we gotta control, alright?” He shook his head, as if shaking off the very thought of it. “You’re...more than that. Always have been."

Arthur sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. “I know...there’s a whole lotta differences between us. But...I can’t help myself, y’know? I’ve tried. Lord knows I’ve tried.” His words faltered, and he cursed under his breath.

Damn, I forgot half of what I wanted to say.

You tilted your head, watching him struggle, your patience wearing thin.

He took a deep breath and pressed on, his voice quieter but no less earnest. “I don’t deserve this, I know that. Hell, you don’t deserve this, either. But one thing I can promise you, right here, right now...I’ll make this better. I’ll try every damn day to make your life here bearable, to give you somethin’ better. Until...”

He stopped himself, biting back the words he wasn’t sure you were ready to hear. “Until I can give you somethin’ far better than all this.”

He paused, his jaw tightening before he met your eyes again. “And no one, not a damn soul, will have the guts to disrespect you here. Not while I’m around.”

You raised a brow, skepticism clear in your voice. “Not even Dutch?”

Arthur swallowed hard, but he nodded firmly. “Yeah....not even him.”

Without thinking, he reached out and grasped your hands, his touch rough but grounding. He held on like it was the only thing tethering him to the moment, his eyes searching yours for any sign of trust, of understanding, of...hope.

"But why though? All of a sudden? And me?"

"I...wish I knew. But I am helpless right now. Helpless against these questions and these...feelings."

His eyes searched yours, desperate and pleading, but your words cut through him like a knife.

“If this is all true, then...why didn’t your lover, what was her name? Oh yeah, Mary, who even loved you, stick around?”

Arthur flinched as if you’d struck him. His heart trembled at the weight of your words, your tone unclear, was it innocent? Genuine? Or just plain cruel?

"That...that was different."

Your gaze didn’t waver, and your tongue stayed edged. “Okay but if she didn’t trust you enough to stay, then why should I? We’re not even-”

He moved before you could finish, his jaw tightening as he stood. With a single step, he reached for the scarf draped over the chair. Silent and deliberate, he placed it on the bed beside you, his every motion measured.

You watched him, confused and uncertain, as he pulled a few crumpled bills from his pocket. He smoothed them flat and placed them in the middle of the scarf. His hands moved deftly, folding the fabric around the money with a care that felt almost reverent.

Finally, he turned to you, kneeling once more. His rough, calloused hands gently wrapped around yours, closing your fingers firmly over the bundle. His touch was warm, grounding, yet carried the weight of something far greater.

“Here,” he said, his voice low but steady. “This...this is the only proof I can give you. I’ll keep fillin’ it, day by day, until we’ve got enough to leave. And you’ll keep it safe. You’ll keep it with you. It's yours. Only yours."

And I am too.

"I know...that the money is not gonna come from honest ways which you hate of course, but...there's no other way it can be done...but it will be done, alright?"

His breath hitched as he leaned closer, his shadow falling over you like a shroud. The proximity made your heart thrum unevenly, though you’d never admit it.

You stared at the scarf in your hands, his grip firm but trembling ever so slightly. You couldn’t bring yourself to look up, to meet his eyes. A dozen questions churned in your mind, your heart caught between disbelief and something else you couldn’t name.

Why was he doing this? Why for you? Damn, you never pegged him for such a fool.

It was as if he could sense the weight of your weariness. His voice softened, low and earnest.

“I just want you to greet me every time I come back…and every time I go. With that smile of yours.” He paused, his gaze dropping for a moment, as though the vulnerability of his words was too much. “That’s all I ask of you...that’s all this idiot asks of you.”

And to have you in my arms every night.

The thought came unbidden, a longing too deep and too dangerous to voice aloud. No, he couldn’t say that, not yet. It was too much to ask.

You blinked at him, caught off guard, your lips parting slightly as if to respond. “Um...I don't--” You cleared your throat, but the words still wouldn’t come.

When you finally looked up, he saw it, emotions swirling in your eyes, unguarded for once. Fear, confusion, a flicker of nervousness. But there was something else, something softer, buried beneath it all. His heart, racing only moments ago, steadied as if your gaze alone could calm him.

Unable to stop himself, he leaned closer, closing the space between you. His lips brushed the top of your head in a tender kiss, one that lingered longer than it should have.

You flinched a little but didn't pull away, and that, to him, was enough. A sign of acceptance, no matter how small.

The scent of your hair, the warmth of your presence, it was intoxicating. For the first time, he felt hope unfurling in his chest. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

When he finally pulled back, his eyes searched yours once more. He didn’t say anything else, not wanting to break the fragile moment, and instead rose to his feet. His shadow stretched across the tent as he turned toward the flap, his steps deliberate and slow.

And just before he stepped out into the night, he glanced over his shoulder. “Goodnight, darlin’.”

Tonight, he might finally be able to sleep.

Arthur lay down on his cot, an idiotic smile tugging at his lips as he stared at the hat resting on the table. It wasn’t just a hat, it was your approval, your silent acknowledgment, your acceptance. For the first time in a long while, he felt...hopeful.

And now, he thought, he’d finally be able to wear it.

❀˖°

The outlaw's gaze drifted to the sketches, one was complete, your softer expression, that innocent curiosity you had when your guard wasn’t up. The other remained unfinished, a portrait of your infamous frown. Not that he hated it, hell, that frown had a charm of its own, sharp and stubborn. But something about leaving it incomplete felt right. He decided it would remain that way. He didn’t want to immortalise that side of you, not in his art or heart.

Arthur reached for the softer sketch, running a thumb over the lines as if touching the paper could bring you closer to him. He studied it, his heart aching with an almost unbearable tenderness.

No, you deserved better. You deserved to keep smiling. And if it took him a lifetime to make that happen, so be it.

Hosea watched from a distance, a quiet smile tugging at the corners of his lips as Arthur hugged your stiff form, bidding you farewell. He observed the way Arthur's demeanour had softened, the usual rough edges of the man becoming more relaxed in your presence. The smile and the way he tipped his hat to you before mounting the horse were enough to confirm the change that had occurred in him.

Arthur's gaze briefly flicked over to where Hosea stood, his eyes meeting the older man’s. With a small, almost sheepish nod of acknowledgment, Arthur gave a quick tip of his head. It was subtle, but Hosea had known him long enough to recognize the shift in his posture, the lightness in his eyes.

The mentor's smile deepened, though there was a softness to it that spoke of more than just amusement. It was the kind of smile a father would give when he saw something unexpected in a child, something tender, something hopeful.

It was good to see Arthur's content again. What truly surprised him, though, was that it was his daughter who had made it possible after all this time. The last person he imagined to ever do that and that made him chuckle quietly.

A match made in heaven indeed...

(AN: •⩊• u better interact for high honour++)

[sexyandhedonistic]

How to Become the Most Iconic It Girl in Your Reality

A Guide to Bring Your Dream Self to Life

“You are already that which you want to be, and your refusal to believe this is the only reason you do not see it.” Feeling is the Secret Ch. 1

I. Introduction ✧

Hello, my loves! This guide will help YOU become the person you have always dreamt of being as the starring role of your reality. We’re going to cover so much so I hope you’re ready to bid farewell to the person you used to be and get ready to transform into the most desirable version of yourself yet. Whether you aspire to be an it girl, it boy, it person or it god, whatever your preferred title is, if you desire to be other than what you currently are, this guide is for you.

Note: this was written through a law of assumption lens so if you’re looking for a glow up post that tells you to eat fruit and cut off toxic people this is not the one. If you haven’t read my guide about the law of assumption or are new to it I strongly recommend you read that one first before reading further, as everything written later on will make much more sense that way.

A. What’s to come.

The comprehensive purpose of this guide is to help you become the person you have always dreamt of being and to remind you that you no longer need to be unhappy with who you are because you get to create your own reality, meaning that you get to define yourself. Not your environment, not your peers, you. Your upbringing may have persuaded you of the fact that you are undeserving of anything you could ever desire, but you don’t need to go another day feeling insecure, unloved and miserable. Life is your creation. The days of you being confined to the image others have imposed unto you are a thing of the past now.  I don’t know who you were before you opened this guide but that person isn’t you anymore. From this point on, you have been an icon from BIRTH.

B. Breaking down the terms “iconic” and “it”.

Before we start, let’s define what an iconic it girl is first.

To be iconic means to be impactful. What makes an icon an icon is the fact that they don’t live up to standards or expectations because they live by their own rules and are not afraid to deviate from the conventional. The difference between an icon and a non-icon is that icons aren’t all talk, they ARE about it. 

“It” refers to a prominent and commendable quality in an individual that evokes intrigue and admiration, especially one that makes said individual spectacular or exceptional. The it factor is subjective because different qualities instigate intrigue across different people. In the case of this guide, the IT factor will ultimately be up to you to define.

If we fuse both terms together with the law of assumption in mind, an iconic it girl is one who’s in total control of her reality. She’s a sovereign, she’s above everything and everyone and nothing can cause her to waver in her conviction. She’s the center of the universe and nothing can ever challenge that thought in her head. She calls the shots and she does what she wants. An iconic it girl is a trend setter. She doesn’t follow trends nor standards, she creates them. Nobody tells her what she can or can’t do and nobody tells her who she is because she has an established conception of herself.

C. Why be an it girl?

It girls tend to be the girls you either want to be or be with because they seem to have it all: wealth, beauty, sex appeal, allure, social circle, relationship, achievements and/or an interesting lifestyle. You see these girls on social media and you covet the lives they lead but you feel suppressed by your current circumstances because reality conditions your desires. If you want to change your appearance, you must be rich and if you want to be rich, you must work hard. If you want to be extroverted, you must change your personality and if you want to change your personality, you must step out of your comfort zone. That’s the reality of life because life operates by logic. But, guess what? You are not limited to what we once accepted to be the “reality of life”. We are infinite beings capable of everything we could ever desire in this world. Anything someone else is or has can also be you/rs and in this guide I’ll explain how you can.

Now that we have established what an iconic it girl is and why we can aspire to be one, we will now proceed with HOW to do it and more importantly, where it all starts.

II. Conception ✧ of self.

“It is our conception of ourselves which frees or constrains us.” - No One To Change But Self

Self concept is how you see yourself in relation to the world and how you see the world in relation to you. All the assumptions you carry about the two comprise your conception of self, which as a result fashions the experiences you have in your world. From the way people treat you to the way you treat yourself, all of it has originated from your assumptions which harvested your state which has become part of your consciousness (what you know to be a fact at this very moment). Whether your goal is to manifest being an it girl or anything else, it always goes back to changing your self concept first, which is nothing more than a state.

A state is an attitude of mind comprised of beliefs (assumptions) and when we desire to change our self concept, we adjust our state of consciousness. You may not feel exceptional nor as if you have the it factor as of right now and that is credited to the contents of your state of consciousness. If you want to become an iconic it girl, you must first change your state into one of an it girl. How do you change states? Through feeling, by I AM.

A. I AM.

“I AM wealthy, poor, healthy, sick, free, confined were first of all impressions or conditions felt before they became visible expressions. Your world is your consciousness objectified. Waste no time trying to change the outside; change the within or the impression; and the without or expression will take care of itself. When the truth of this statement dawns upon you, you will know that you have found the lost word or the key to every door. I AM (your consciousness) is the magical lost word which was made flesh in the likeness of that which you are conscious of being.”- Your Faith Is Your Fortune Ch. 6

I AM is a declaration of self through what you are aware of being. You are incapable of speaking about yourself unless your statement begins with I AM. Manifesting becoming an it girl is not about acquiring something, it is about being the person who has that something through whatever comes after I AM:

I have money -> I AM [in the state of being] wealthy

I have perfect grades -> I AM [conscious of being] a stellar student

I have a partner -> I AM in a relationship

“Become identified with that character and feeling and you will be amazed how quickly you will realize your dream. The only sacrifice you are called upon to make, is to give up your present concept of self and appropriate the desire you want to express.”

B. EIYPO.

"Blind man sees the world objective to himself, something detached from himself. When man begins to awake he sees everything subjectively related; everything he meets is part of himself, and what he does not now understand, still he knows that it is related by affinity to some as yet unrealized force in his own being." - The Pruning Shears of Revision

Everyone is you pushed out accounts for the notion that whatever we think or assume of ourselves is pushed out into the world and reflected back to us. This means that the people around you will see you the way you see yourself and treat you accordingly. We manifest 24/7 through our established assumptions, so whether you have accepted as a fact that you are loved by everyone you meet or you aren’t very likable, your circumstances will evince that. However, that is not to say you are not entitled to feel upset when someone disrespects you. Although this may be a difficult truth to accept, the purpose of acceptance of it is to feel and realize that we are above what people say or how they treat us rather than to feel inferior because of it. So, how do we take this concept into consideration when we aim to become an it girl? We simply accept it as yet another facet of our realities that we are in control of. How do you get people to stop seeing you as the person you no longer want to be anymore? By changing self first. When you begin to see yourself as an it girl, the world will see you as one as well.

"There is no one to change but self. All you need to do to make men and women holy in this world is to make yourself holy. You are incapable of seeing anything that is unlovely when you establish within your own mind's eye the fact that you are lovely."- No One To Change But Self

III. Imagination ✧ Optimize your creative power.

“Everything in your world that you behold, though it appears without, it is within, in your imagination. And this wonderful imagination of yours is Christ Jesus. Imagination is the actual habitation of every created thing. No matter what you see in the world, it springs from your imagination. So that's where you go, that's the workshop, the garden of God.” - The Pruning Shears of Revision

A wonderfully comforting aspect of the law of assumption is that we all possess the inalienable gift that is to be able to grant upon ourselves whatever it is we desire to have, do or be. No matter what it is that you want, be it factual or fictional, existent or nonexistent, you can have anything. It is possible to become the person you have always wanted to be due to the lack of limitations in imagination. If you can think it, you can become it. Whether you desire to look like someone, have a relationship that mirrors the one in your favorite k-drama with your celebrity crush or be exactly like your comfort character, I could go on and on with examples of whatever it is you can have, do or be because when I tell you that you are a limitless being, I mean it wholeheartedly.

I must emphasize and drive this point home. All is possible in the world. Every possible desired life aspect you could ever fantasize about in your imagination exists because creation is finished. Whether it’s your dream home, career, income, accomplishments, possessions, relationship, friend group, physique, personality, lifestyle whatever it is you dream of having is possible to be conscious of because there are a myriad of states for us to choose from. That state already exists like a suit that is waiting for you to wear it until it becomes a natural part of your consciousness.

Because of this, it naturally makes sense to acknowledge that we no longer need to be neither humble nor jealous of another. If we know we can have absolutely anything in the world, even something already in the possession of another, why would we?

With our wonderful human imagination on our side, we can transcend the limitations that surround us. Whether you desire to get accepted into an ivy league university two years early with a 2.1 GPA or eat endlessly without gaining a single pound and jeopardizing your health, your limitless self is capable of becoming conscious of it and more, so let your imagination run free devoid of any restrictions when you define your it girl. The presentation of any circumstances do not and will never matter. To be is as simple as asking yourself whether or not you want to be it.

IV. Inspiration ✧ Defining your it girl.

Now we’re getting to the fun part of this post because you get to use your creative power: imagination. Remember a few sections ago when we discussed what the IT factor is? This is where you get to determine what IT is. Let me remind you again, your idea of what an it girl is is subjective, so it won’t be exactly like someone else’s definition. It girl is not a mold in which you are expected to fit into. Whether you want an active socialite nepo baby city life or a secluded pastry-making book-reading cottagecore life, doesn’t matter. This is all about who you desire to be. With that, let’s get down on how to determine what your it girl self looks like.

A. Who do you want to be like?

What qualities in a person would make you perceive someone as admirable or inspiring? Hard work? Being multifaceted? Do they have a personality you wish you had?

Think of people you deem iconic or who you look up to and why you perceive them as such. Are they someone who’s successfully pursued a personal goal of yours? Is their career full of achievements?

Don't condense your inspirations to people, you can also take fictional characters into consideration. Whether it’s Maddy from Euphoria, Blair from Gossip Girl or Pooja from Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, think of the characters from your favorite films and tv shows for more ideas.

You can also consider some of the most popular archetypes across social/media such as the femme fatale, the socialite, the siren, the beauty and brains, any archetype that possesses a lifestyle or aura that you would like for yourself can also be taken into consideration.

B. Which trains would you like to possess?

Beautiful, magnetic, mysterious, seductive, desirable, alluring

Extroverted, fun, trend setter, admired, confident, charismatic

Intimidating, unapologetic, bold, unique, center of attention, 

Kind, soft spoken, empathetic, nurturing, humanitarian

Intelligent, articulate, ambitious, hedonistic, successful, perfectionist 

C. What are some interesting qualities/assumptions about you?

Always the life of the party

Speaks multiple languages

Excels at everything on the first try

Has a commanding presence

Loved by everyone and full of admirers

Everyone you develop an interest in always pursues you

People find you alluring and inspiring

Bearer of the Halo effect - receives advantages and special treatment just for being gorgeous 

Mastered or proficient in a specific subject/sport/language/instrument

Art connoisseur / literature, films, fashion, music, photography

Knowledgeable across different subjects / history, science, interior design, fragrances, wine, etc.

Knowledgeable in sophisticated fields / law, politics, economics, finance

Expert at a specific hobby or activity / chess, bridge, painting, sculpting, skating, singing, dancing

Skilled at / sewing, cooking, baking, knitting, makeup, styling, coding

D. Combine it.

Once I had an idea of what I wanted my new self to be like , I would refer to scenes in tv shows when a character is being introduced in third person as if they’re reading a profile about them. They don’t just name the character, they’ll list their background, their personality, what they do, what their interests are, etc. and then twist this for myself and imagine how I would like another person to describe me. I’ll list an example of what that would look like below:

[Note: to stay on theme I will be providing an it girl example, make this your own!]

One word to describe her? Extraordinary, but she’s too much to even conceptualize in a single word that it almost feels disrespectful to her. She either inspires you to be at her level or mortifies you for not being at her level. She's influential and enticing, opulent and godly. She has sky-high standards and smells like Tobacco Vanille. She always gets what she wants and doesn’t take no for an answer.  She studies hard in the daytime and attends prestigious social gatherings in the nighttime. She’s a polymath with an IQ of 168 who knows a little about every subject. Whether it’s foreign languages, interior design, pastry making or art, she’s full of knowledge and constantly teaches you something new. She’s innovative and always formulating progressive ideas which also makes her a trendsetter.  Whatever she does whether it’s a hobby or putting an outfit together she always owns it in her own unique manner. Because of that, her presence captures the attention of everyone in the room without her even saying a word. Her magnetic aura and sultry gaze make her irresistible to anyone who locks eyes with her. Men go crazy over her even though they know she’d never look twice at them. She’s witty and fun to be around.  She’s unlike anyone you’ve ever met before. In fact, you could copy her personality and style down to a T and you still would not be able to capture her essence. You can’t get her out of your head because her beauty, passion and determination make her unforgettable. 

Now that you have an idea of who your new self is, let’s talk about how to dump the old self.

V. Immolation ✧ Say goodbye to the old story forever.

“Man is not willing to outgrow, [and] yet he wants other things than those he has. But if you remain in one state, you will forever have to suffer the consequences of not being in another state. (From the “Hermetica”). If I remain in the state of poverty, I must suffer the consequences of not being in the state of wealth.” - The Art of Dying

A. No one to change but self (concept).

“Heretofore I thought I could change others through effort. Now I know I cannot change another unless I first change myself. To change another within my world I must first change my concept of that other; and to do it best I change my concept of self. For it was the concept I held of self that made me see others as I did.” - No One To Change But Self

I started this guide with self concept for a reason. If you want to create a change in your life you must first begin with self . As within, so without. An inner change must precede an outer change because we do not experience what we want, we experience what we are. Any attempt to change our worlds without changing ourselves is a mere delusion because the world will forever reflect back to us that which we are conscious of being. You want the world to know that you’re an it girl? Feel yourself to be an it girl first.

B. Forgiveness.

“You must learn to distinguish between the eternal human who occupies a state, and the state itself. This is the only means to forgiveness.”  - True Forgiveness

Forgiving is forgetting and forgetting is letting go. When you are able to feel yourself to be who you want to be, you let go of who you used to be. You no longer have to be somebody you don’t want to be because a change of state is always instant. Every day is a new day and every moment is a new moment. If you are currently a miserable person and then you decide you are not then you are no longer a miserable person because you chose to not identify with it. You are not your state and you cannot be affixed to any state you don’t want to occupy. You will always have the option to embody any state you would like to occupy. You can shift that immediately through forgiveness and intention. Through forgiveness, you create the severance between the state you were formerly in and the state of an it girl. 

C. Regret no more. 

“Do not waste one moment in regret, for to think feelingly of the mistakes of the past is to re-infect yourself.” –  Feeling is the Secret

I’d like to take this moment to tell you that regret doesn’t need to be a thing anymore because you can revise the past. That hobby you wanted to pursue but gave up on? Your GPA that you can’t go back and fix? The best friend you miss? Do you remember when you wanted to start drawing but then you stopped? Or when you did ballet when you were younger and never continued? Remember when you started learning Spanish and then gave up? You don’t need to feel regretful anymore because you can revise all and reshape the past to be in harmony with the it girl that you are. Whether you wish you had grown up wealthy or with a specific skill which would later become your passion, absolutely every aspect of your life can be adjusted. There’s no need to resent the past because it is not set in stone.

D. Let go of the external.

I urge you to not let anything outside of you define you or your life. Whether it’s the tarot deck, the tea leaves or a birth chart, none of those sources have a say in what your life looks or will look like. There’s no such thing as a predetermined fate for you. Every single aspect of your world is malleable at your command, so give up the idea that there’s any other force in the world capable of interfering with your desires.

VI. Reincarnation ✧ The birth of a new you.

“You must this night – not tomorrow – learn the technique of writing your own obituary and so completely die to what you are that no man in this world can tell you where you buried the old man.” - Consciousness is the Only Reality

A. A newly acquired mentality.

It’s time to step into your power and see yourself as the GOD that you are. You no longer need to live by the limitations the world has convinced you exist. You don’t need to do or be anything/one you don’t want to do/be and more importantly you do not need to settle for anything that doesn’t live up to your expectations. If you don’t like something, it doesn’t need to be a thing. Think about it being as simple as blocking someone, you are not gonna annoy me in MY reality.  Starting today, you get to decide who you want to be and who or what gets to be a part of your life. Again, this is YOUR world, YOUR reality and everyone else is simply living in it. Why should you ever worry your gorgeous self about anything not going your way if this is your world? You’re the one on the pedestal and whatever you say must go. 

Imagine telling a person exactly that, This is your world and everyone else is simply living in it. We are at such a huge advantage with the law of assumption because you don’t even need to be concerned with the course of action, you just need to focus on being (I AM). When you talk to people through the confidence of knowing that every single one of your goals is absolutely achievable, because through the law of assumption they always are and always will be, it is very easy to appear as confident to the average doubtful person. Everyone around you carries the idea with them that failure and rejection are always possibilities. You’re not like them, though. You’re completely limitless. You can excel at whatever career you want to pursue, you can date anyone you point your finger at, you can possess all of the riches the world has to offer and there’s no need to be humble about it. You are THE it girl, after all, are you not? All we’re stating is facts.

B. You cannot serve two masters.

“If you are dissatisfied with your present expression in life the only way to change it, is to take your attention away form that which seems so real to you and rise in consciousness to that which you desire to be. You cannot serve two masters, therefore to take your attention from one state of consciousness and place it upon another is to die to one and live to the other.” - At Your Command Ch. 2

In other words, you cannot sustain two polarizing states at once and you cannot take any part of the old state into the new state. If you want change, you must be loyal to it. You must be so committed to it that you have no space to even consider the old story because it doesn’t matter in the slightest anymore. Fall in love with your new state of consciousness that you are willing to be devoted to it no matter what. Leave the old in the past so the new can take its place.

C. Feeling the wish fulfilled.

“You must assume that you are what you want to be and continue therein, for the reality of your assumption has its being in complete independence of objective fact and will clothe itself in flesh if you persist in the feeling of the wish fulfilled” - The Power of Awareness Ch. 21

Capturing the feeling of the wish fulfilled is utterly essential, no matter what it is that you desire to manifest because the process will always be the same. First we must assume ourselves to be that which we desire to be through I AM and we persist in it independent of the objectiveness of our world until we are one with our new state.

The moment you successfully attain that feeling and continue to live by it, the direction of your attention will continue to focus on the implications of its fulfillment. That is, when you start to accept yourself as an it girl, the scenes that would suggest its consummation will make their way into your imagination, and if you persist in them they will inevitably become part of your state of consciousness.

VII. Invocation ✧ How to become it.

“When you pray, do not get down on your knees and pray to any unknown God. Instead, go to bed and dare to assume you are now who you want to be. Fall asleep assuming it is true and you will be on the road to success, for this is how things are brought into being.” - Brazen Impudence

A. SATS + lullaby.

I have an extensive post about the state akin to sleep which I highly suggest you read for further clarification as well as how I like to use the SATS. I’ll leave the instructions below:

The first step is to define your objective. Have a clear idea of what it is you would like to be (or be in possession of).

Next, ask yourself, “what does the end of that goal look like?” For example, if you would like to manifest a prestigious job opportunity, you’d be congratulated on it. If you’d like to manifest a change in appearance, you would receive compliments (It doesn’t need to include another person, but you may find it more helpful in order to feel it more real). Whatever the end looks like, it must always be an event that implies its fulfillment, that it is done. This is the wish fulfilled.

Get into a comfortable position. You can lay down or sit upright, it doesn’t matter, do whatever feels most comfortable.

Relax. You can do some breathing exercises, listen to music, have a warm drink, whatever it is that makes you relax. 

Induce a moderate degree of drowsiness where you can still concentrate on the wish fulfilled, but be sure to not feel too drowsy where you find it difficult to focus. When you feel like you could move but you don’t want to (because you’re too comfortable), that’s when you’ll know you’re in the state akin to sleep.

Construct a scene that implies the fulfillment of your desire by making elsewhere here and then now, then feel it real by incorporating your senses into it and imagine yourself being present within your imaginal scene from your perspective. Confine your scene to a single action. If your scene implies that you have received wonderful news, do not wander off in your visualization by doing a thousand irrelevant things afterwards, simply stick to the congratulations and mentally feel yourself being present in your scene. Repeat the scene until it takes on the tones of reality. [A tip from Edward Art: Focus on feeling it real (feeling the wish fulfilled) first and then the sensory aspects of your scene will follow]

If you find it difficult to focus on a scene and feel it real or if you simply cannot conceptualiza what the end would even look like, follow steps 1 through 4 and do the following: condense the fulfillment to three words or less and repeat them over and over again until your mind is dominated by the single sensation of thankfulness. Meditate on this phrase until you accept it as a fact.

¹ Visualization ideas.

Your scenes will vary depending on what life you want to live. You can change your scenes every time you visualize during the SATS so long as they all imply the same end. What would imply that you are an it girl? Being interviewed? Walking down a red carpet? Men dropping their jaws when you pass by? For ideas, consider what activities would comprise a day in your it girl life.

² The lullaby method.

"Remain there until you feel its certainty, until you reach the point of satisfaction, until you are convinced of its truth; and although the world may collapse around you, you will become that which you have assumed you are." - An Inner Conviction

If you would like to try out the lullaby method, some three word phrases you could use are: I’m that girl/person, I have everything, It is done, I’m so happy, I AM (__), etc.

B. Mental diets.

“Feast on the idea, become identified with the idea as though you were already that embodied state. Walk in the assumption that you are what you want to be. If you feast on that and remain faithful to that mental diet, you will crystallize it. You will become it in this world.” - Thinking Fourth Dimensionally

Mental diets aren’t particularly necessary since they can imply that you need to be monitoring your thoughts constantly. However, objectively being conscious of them can help you determine what state you are currently occupying. If you would like to indulge in a mental diet you can do so by asking yourself the following questions:

Is this what I would want someone else to say or think about me?

Would my it girl think this thought?

I would also like to briefly recall that thoughts alone don’t hold power unless you accept them as facts. You can have intrusive thoughts and joke all you want about how you’re ugly but unless you persist in that and feel them to be true it will not manifest.

C. Inner conversations.

"What are you saying at every moment of time? Watch it; be careful what you are saying, because your whole vast world is this inner conversation pushed out." - Control Your Inner Conversations

I urge you to stop internally berating yourself or imagining someone speaking negatively about you. Pay attention to the perpetual inner conversation you hold with yourself: “I’m not good at math”, “my friends always make plans without me”, “I’m so awkward”, because what you say and believe about yourself is what you will continue to face in the third dimension. Instead, think about the lovely remarks you’d like others to say about you and mentally hear them say them. You can also try vaunting which is the practice of constructing a conversation in which you brag from the wish fulfilled. You can turn to the example I used of being described in third person by someone else and speak from first person instead (I AM).

D. Revision.

"At the end of my day, I review the day; I don't judge it, I simply review it. I look over the entire day, all the episodes, all the events, all the conversations, all the meetings, and then as I see it clearly in my mind's eye, I rewrite it. I rewrite it and make it conform to the ideal day I wish I had experienced. I take scene after scene and rewrite it, revise it, and having revised my day, then in my imagination I relive that day, the revised day, and I do it over and over in my imagination until this seeming imagined state begins to take on to me the tones of reality. It seems that it's real, that I actually did experience it and I have found from experience that these revised days, if really lived, will change my tomorrows. When I meet people tomorrow that today disappointed me, they will not tomorrow, for in me I have changed the very nature of that being, and having changed him, he bears witness tomorrow of the change that took place within me." - The Pruning Shears of Revision

Before you go to bed, revisit the occurrences of your day and when you recall an unfavorable one that challenges your it girl state of consciousness and rewrite it. Follow the steps for the SATS and construct a scene that would replace the unfavorable situation and convert it into a favorable situation.

E. Finish the day feeling the wish fulfilled.

"Do not let the sun descend upon any vexation of the day." - The Pruning Shears of Revision

This one is an absolute must. If you can help it, try to refrain from falling asleep in the assumption that you are not an it girl. If you are not feeling the wish fulfilled, take a few minutes to meditate on your state and then fall asleep feeling embraced by it and the relief of knowing that who you desire to be is who you already are (also known as the Sabbath).

VIII. Preservation ✧ How to sustain it.

"Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith!" - God’s Creative Power

A. Persistence.

“By desiring to be other than what you are, you can create an ideal of the person you want to be and assume that you are already that person. If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable.”  - The Power of Awareness Ch. 3

To briefly remind you, persistence means to remain obstinate with an intention regardless of difficulties or obstructions. When you are adopting a new state of consciousness, you may initially struggle to feel it real or even become impatient with its lack of manifestation in the third dimension, but you must keep returning to it no matter what.  You may waver and you may falter but if you remember to proceed with the embodiment of your it girl state by returning to it through any preferred means, no force and no power will cumber its realization.

B. Forget about time.

"The length of time between my desire and its conception depends entirely upon my inner conviction that it is done."- An Inner Conviction

Focusing on the “time” it takes for your state to feel natural to you will only hold you back and keep you in a cycle of waiting. Ask yourself what the end, or the actualization of being an it girl, looks like for you and live in it. Do not suppress yourself to what appears to be the present moment if it is not reflecting the end of your desires.  If you are concerned with “the time it’ll take”, then you are conscious of the opposite of your desires which means you are not feeling the wish fulfilled.

Always seek the wish fulfilled and abide by it until it blossoms into your world.

C. Disregard appearances.

"These appearances will continue in being as long as you give them life through your conscious awareness of them. You must disregard the evidence of your senses as it pertains to any undesirable condition in your life. You must Imagine and feel that you have already attained that which you want to experience rather than that which you do not want to continue in being. This may appear difficult, yet you have probably exercised this principle unconsciously to produce negative results." -  Imagination Creates Reality

Do not settle for less than you seek. You never need to compromise with whatever it is that you desire because as I have mentioned, all exists and all is possible. Reject anything that doesn’t confirm that you are an it girl and never take no for an answer. Be adamant. Decide on what it is that you want and regardless of the limitations of your environment, consent to its immersion to your state of consciousness. No matter what you see or hear, do not accept it if it is not what you want. If you continue to suppress the acceptance of your desires to your senses then that's where your consciousness will remain.

“You don't accept one thing in the world as final unless it conforms to the ideal you want to realize in the world.” - The Pruning Shears of Revision

D. You already are, not will be.

“That which you seek you already are, it can never be so far off as even to be near, for nearness implies separation.” - No One To Change But Self

Something we can learn from it girls is the following: it girls don’t care whether or not they’re it girls, they simply are. So although we are intentionally shifting our state of consciousness, remember to not approach this with a trying mindset or the idea that you will become when you already are, because the use of the word “will” implies that you currently are not. As I’ve said before, “you can’t try to be someone you already are”. Whatever the wish fulfilled looks like for you, accept it at this very moment. Go straight to the end and bathe in it, rejoice in the fulfilled prayer as you go about your day and remain faithful to that inner conviction.

E. Reject the possibility of failure.

“Don’t be anxious or concerned as to results. They will follow just as surely as day follows night.” - Your faith is your fortune Ch. 21

Your desires are literally a guarantee. You can bring absolutely anything into being if you proceed with your intention in spite of what you experience in the flesh. You possess a gift that no one will ever be able to confiscate from you and that is your imagination. Intentional use of this gift will bring forward the beautification of your world in means you would not have been able to devise. Do not become an impediment in your journey by concerning yourself with the means, for they are never your responsibility. If you are serious and willing to assume in your favor, the mountains that need to move will move, the obstacles in the path towards heaven will be cleared and the people who need to play a role relative to its fruition will act accordingly without you having to do so much as lift a finger.

F. Apply.

“You must be doers of the law of assumption, for without application, the most profound understanding will not produce any desired result.” - The Power of Awareness Ch. 18

It is not enough for you to read the entirety of this guide without intending to put the instructions in it to use. You could read and listen to every document, every book and every lecture out there that tells you exactly how to manifest your desires but unless you take that information and put it to use, it was all acquired in vain. This post was long and detailed, do not let it go to waste by refusing to apply and persist. Wanting to do it is not enough, you must DO IT through persistence and a disciplined mind. Do not let the day in which you are reading this post to come to an end without acknowledging that you are an it girl now, not will be, you are. Plant the seed today and you will reap the harvest tomorrow.

"Your assumption, to be effective, cannot be a single isolated act, it must be a maintained attitude of the wish fulfilled." - The Power of Awareness Ch. 22

G. Calm reminders

I’m sure some of these concerns may have risen at some point so I will clear them up right now: acting as if is not necessary, neglecting your current circumstances and pretending they are not occurring is not necessary and being happy all the time is also not necessary. It is okay if you fall out of your new state from time to time, do not think that there is such a thing as “losing progress” because you can never truly lose what is already in your possession. If you are dealing with difficult circumstances I strongly recommend you read this post: how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too.

IX. Motivation ✧ 

“I don’t care what it is; when you know what you want, you can make your desire so real, so natural that you will reach a feeling of certainty which no power in the world can stop. When that feeling is yours, drop it. Don’t ask anyone if what you did was right or wrong; you did it and that’s all that is necessary.” - An Inner conviction

If you are truly serious about becoming the it girl of your reality, you’ll have to be disciplined, determined, and persistent. You have to be willing to give up who you are right now in order to become who you want to be because the longer you entertain your old self, the longer you’ll postpone your dream self. You can decide at any moment to change, and if you are not actively working towards shifting your state of consciousness then you are consenting to its preservation. You accept what you tolerate, whether it’s mediocre friends, mediocre grades or a mediocre lifestyle and the only way to put an end to that is by intending to because it all starts with you. Do you want it enough? Are you willing to finally become an it girl or will you continue daydreaming about being an it girl? If you’re capable of being someone you don’t want to be, what makes you think you aren’t mutually capable of becoming someone you do want to be? Your it girl self is not far away from you, she already exists within your imagination and she is waiting for you to bring life to her. You already know everything you need to know in order to do it, so what’s stopping you? I know it can feel challenging because we feel confined to our current circumstances but I have so much faith in you and I know you have it in you to give yourself the world. You deserve to wake up every day feeling completely obsessed with yourself and your life. You don’t need to spend a minute longer hoping things that feel like they’re out of your control change if you know you are the one who’s in control. This is your reality, after all. Decide who you want to be and what life you want to lead, start showing up every day for it and remember to never accept anything that doesn’t live up to your standards. Dare to pursue everything you have ever wanted, all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed. 

X. Outroduction ✧

"Every dream could be realized by those self-disciplined enough to believe it."-  No One To Change But Self

And that concludes this guide! If there’s one takeaway you should carry with you from it it’s the following: you reserve the right to have high standards in regards to every aspect of your life, you deserve the partner of your dreams, the home of your dreams, the life of your dreams, you deserve all of it and more. Becoming an it girl doesn’t require a meticulous plan of action. All it takes is the use of imagination and discipline. You can realize your every dream. Whatever you want regardless of what it is or how unrealistic it sounds, you should demand more out of life and you should never settle for less than you desire, fantasize about or dream of, you can have it and you should have it. The world was made by you and for you so be self-willed and go for it. I have given you everything you need to know to become an it girl and all you have to do is apply. You’ve got this! Remember that you cannot fail, so when you succeed (notice how I didn't say if), I want to hear your success story. Until next time, mis amores!

Love always, your bestie Hera * .♡ *:･ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

“You can be the man (or woman) you want to be, but not by simply wishing. You must make the effort to look at the world mentally and see it reflect your fulfilled desire. And when it does you must remain in that state until you reach the inner conviction that what you are seeing, touching, tasting, smelling, and hearing is true, clothe yourself in the feeling of its reality - and explode! Do that and you are pregnant. And what do you do after pregnancy? Nothing! You simply wait for its birth to appear in its own appointed hour. And it will! When you least expect it your desire will objectify itself in the world for you to enjoy, whether it be health, wealth, or fame. That’s how God’s law works.” - An Inner Conviction

[didnt-hear-idsb-live-again]

Introducing: custom Eras show posters by me!

Hi Hi Hi I am launching something new & special in my Etsy shop (part of a Farewell Eras collection coming soon) and wanted to test it out here first so! Here we are!

These posters feature your show city & state or country, the stadium name and show date, surprise songs, an outline of the stage, lyrics of your choice, and 3 of your own photos (two main focus photos and one background image) from your show.

The color filter on the poster is pulled straight from your photos to match the color scheme & era of the images, and the photos are edited / integrated into the poster in a way where the quality looks consistent, even if your outfit photo looks nice with great lighting, and your photo of Taylor is potato phone quality.

The link to purchase is HERE! After purchasing, you should shoot me a message on Etsy so I can get the info & photos I need! These are printed via the print lab for professional photography that I use for all my normal photo work, so this means they'll be printed in the highest quality you can find, that I fully stand by.

I made this with the thought of being a great holiday gift for your friends you went to the shows with and to celebrate the end of the tour, and I hope you guys like it :')

[inbarfink]

One of the major themes of ‘Ace Attorney’ has always been trust, obviously. Like, this is the most important creed that Mia Fey passed down to Phoenix and from there to anyone he has touched.

As well as just generally being one of Phoenix’s most important positive qualities.

The entire arc of the first game hinges on the idea of the Power of Trust, with it being a core pillar of Phoenix's relationships with both Miles and Maya.

And even the main gameplay themes of ‘turnabout’ and ‘turning your thinking around’ are linked to this theme of Trust. The whole idea around the narrative of a ‘turnabout’ is that the Defendant seems obviously totally guilty, but the defense attorney proves them innocent by Trusting in their innocence. 

And ‘turning your thinking around’ is generally framed as - rather than the general mystery-solver mindset of trying to deduce what has happened from the evidence given - trusting in your client’s innocence and looking for evidence that should be there if they are innocent/that other person is the culprit. Using the Trust in the client as the foundation to build your logic from.

And being such a core theme of the franchise, the games started reiterating on and deconstructing it almost immediately. “Farewell, My Turnabout'' having a Guilty Client feels like the most obvious example, maybe. But actually the game starts casting suspicions on Engarde pretty early on, and most of the emotional turmoil related to him is more of the, like “will Phoenix sacrifice the truth for Maya’s sake” hostage situation stuff. 

I think the more important stuff in that case is more about the Phoenix-Edgeworth drama. How Phoenix’ sense of trust, which seems like such an unwavering and unbreakable virtue in the first game, does actually have limits. Phoenix feels that Miles has betrayed his trust by, y’know, running off to Europe and making him think he was dead - and it takes him time to learn how to regain this sense of trust in him.

Meanwhile, Matt Engarde, he considers himself strong because he trusts in no one. In contrast to Adrian, who both he and she herself see as ‘weak’ because of her tendency to blindly trust the person she is dependent on. But at the end, it’s Matt’s distrust in everyone around him that brings on his own downfall. 

And the game after that adds in Dahlia Hawthorne who is, as Mia Fey’s nemesis, a sort of representation of the dangers of trust. A character who uses and manipulates those who put their trust in her.

“Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney” establishes its more cynical and deconstructivist tone compared to the original trilogy in part by always putting some sort of element of distrust between the Lawyer and the Defendant. With Apollo basically unable to really have a decent conversation with any of his clients, many of them being antagonistic towards him or hiding things from him. Phoenix Wright was basically the only defendant Apollo went into court actually 100% putting his trust in him… and we all know how that worked out.

And this moment is especially effective because… if you’re playing this game unspoiled after finishing the Phoenix Wright Trilogy, you probably trust Phoenix as well! The emotions Apollo feels as he sees who Phoenix had become are meant to mirror the emotions the Player probably feels at this very moment. And the hints and questions about what Phoenix did in the trial seven years ago are a challenge to the trust of both Apollo and the Player. Both of them are stuck between what they knew of Phoenix before and the revelation of what Phoenix confessed to in “Turnabout Trump”. Apollo’s uncertainty is the player’s uncertainty as well. 

And even if Apollo’s image of Phoenix is somewhat improved by “Turnabout Successions” and it’s clearly established that, no, Phoenix never knowingly used forged evidence as an attorney… There’s no big reconciliation that fixes everything like with Phoenix and Miles. It’s clear that Apollo’s sense of trust, in Phoenix Wright and in general, never quite recovered from the events of AJAA. Later games do still reiterate that he’s a lot more distrustful than other playable attorneys.

(And that’s also a point where the Player-Player Character Synergy from ‘Turnabout Trump’ kinda diverges, since I think most Players do regain their trust in Phoenix by the end of AA4 at least. Especially as unlike Apollo, we actually got to be inside his head again - that’s not exactly an experience Apollo will ever get to have. )

But, well, maybe it’s because it’s just really fresh in my mind, but I just think what ‘The Great Ace Attorney’ Duology does with this theme is just… really cool!

These games really play on the idea of challenging the trust… not just of the Player Character Ryunosuke, but also of the Player themselves. Because Ryunosuke also gets to have a Guilty Client… as his very-first actual client who is not himself. And since the game doesn’t lay on the suspicion quite as thick as with Matt Engarde, and since there’s no hostage situation of course… This plotline can have emotional synergy between the Player and the Player Character and focus a lot more about the emotional repercussion of putting your trust in someone totally absolutely unworthy of trust. 

And how this betrayal of trust haunts the characters moving forwards. How Ryunosuke now finds himself being held back by his doubts due to the memories of this terrible trial, and... not necessarily a lack of trust in others as much as a lack of trust in himself. How Susato is driven to do something she considers unforgivable - tempering with the Crime Scene behind the police’s back - because that trial had made her lose trust in the entire British Justice System.

The entire climax of the first game is thus a reaffirmation of the power of trust. By unwaveringly defending Gina - a girl they have bonded with, but has also been extremely uncooperative, shady, dishonest and literally involved in what went down in the McGilded Trial, in a very grueling and seemingly unbeatable trial  - Ryunosuke and Susato rediscover their ability to trust their defendant. Because, yeah, trust is a leap of faith - you never know when you’re gonna meet a McGilded or a Dahlia Hawthorne - but it’s also absolutely worth it.

And then with the themes of conspiracy strawn throughout the games and especially ramping up in the second game, that’s really kinda a thing that’s bound to sow seeds of paranoia and distrust in the Players about… all sorts of characters. Like, okay, I am fairly sure that pretty much every player who first walked into the Lord Chief Justice’s office and saw Mael Stronghart was like “Oh look! That’s the Final Boss!”. But with the hints for there being some sort of web of intrigue being hidden in the shadows, there’s plenty of other characters that skirt the line between feeling suspicious and trustworthy. The reveal that Seishiro Jigoku is actually a culprit was one of the best-done reveals in the whole franchise. And on the other hand, there are many reasons to be suspicious of Yujin due to the amount of secrets he clearly keeps, and yet he turns out to be a very straightforwardly heroic character. 

And then there’s Kazuma. And Mael Stronghart might be the Obvious Final Boss to the Conspiracy and Murder Mystery parts of the game, but within this thematic throughline of the challenges of trust, Kazuma is pretty much that part’s Final Boss. 

Initially designed to be someone both the characters and the players intently trust, both in terms of the meta-perspective of how he’s set up to be a kinda Mia-Miles hybrid and any Player with knowledge of the previous games will know that’s a kind of person you can rely on. And in general, even to newcomers, everything he says and does in the first two chapters of the game make him feel like just a very upstanding guy you can trust.

Then, when he comes back in the second games, he comes back with a new attitude that feels colder towards Ryunosuke (and thus the Player) and that’s also coupled with a whole bunch of mysteries about him that were hinted in the previous game, but are now coming to the forefront. 

And as the Trial of Barok Van Zieks progresses, it becomes increasingly clear that Karuma has, theoretically, all the possible motivation to kill Greyson and frame Barok for it, that he was one of the last people to see Gregson before his death and that he literally brandished a sword at him. And despite how cagey and shady he acts, he still insists he never killed anyone.

And the reveal that he has knowingly participated in an assassination plot behind the backs of both Ryunosuke and Susato is bound to cause a feeling of shock, confusion and betrayal not just in these characters - but also in the Player. The Player and Player Characters are in a lot of emotional synergy through this entire Kazuma storyline. These feelings of conflict between wanting to trust Kazuma after seeing him in his best and all the mounting suspicions due to all the revelations about him are really felt by all three of us.

And in the end the challenge for Ryunosuke and Susato is not to abandon Kazuma completely, and it’s not to continue blindly trusting their old idealized view of Kazuma - it’s to face the fact that he has kinda lost his way for single-minded revenge, while also still trusting that he is deep-down the same good not-murdery man they have known him as before.

[godteri-takk]

There indeed lay Thorin Oakenshield, wounded with many wounds, and his rent armour and notched axe were cast upon the floor. He looked up as Bilbo came beside him. "Farewell, good thief," he said, "I go now to the halls of waiting to sit beside my fathers, until the world is renewed. Since I leave now all gold and silver, and go where it is of little worth, I wish to part in friendship from you, and I would take back my words and deeds at the Gate." Bilbo knelt on one knee filled with sorrow. "Farewell, King under the Mountain!" he said, "This is a bitter adventure, if it must end so; and not a mountain of gold can amend it. Yet I am glad that I have shared in your perils, that has been more than any Baggins deserves." "No!" said Thorin. "There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West. Some courage and some wisdom, blended in measure. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold it would be a merrier world. But sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewelf!" Then Bilbo turned away, and he went by himself, and sat alone wrapped in a blanket, and, whether you believe it or not, he wept until his eyes were red and his voice was hoarse. He was a kindly little soul. Indeed it was long before he had the heart to make a joke again.

I drew this right after the scene in the book it was emotionally devastating QwQ Mostly because of Bilbo and what it meant for him as a character, i never cared for Thorin much. But it seems their relationship was deeper than i assumed.

Btw i DID imagine his beard as white the whole book but for the comic i wanted to be sure it was correct so i Googled it. But the search results was appearently movie lore, his beard was indeed white in the book TwT aaaaa

Closeups below, please click images for better quality!

[carinavet]

A while back, after The Witcher seasons 2-3 came out, I Liked a couple of its songs on Spotify. Specifically, a couple of Jaskier's songs. Well, after I did that, Spotify started giving me recommendations based on those Likes. In those recommendations, here was one band in particular that had a male singer whose voice kind of reminded me of Jaskier's honestly, but there was something about it that just ... I have never been more attracted to just a voice in my life.

Now, I like voices. I pay attention to voices. And this dude's voice ... isn't particularly special. But there's something about his voice and the way he uses it that makes me Feel Things that just a voice should not make me feel.

So I made the conscious decision not to look up a picture of this dude. Because if he was ugly I was gonna cry.

So for MONTHS I listened to this band on repeat. And aside from my particular feelings about this voice, they're a great band! There is also a female singer, and she is also fantastic, though her existence is somewhat eclipsed by my Feelings around the male singer. Overall they have this strange sort of fey quality about them, both in the style and in the fact that for some reason I cannot bloody remember any of their lyrics. (Seriously, I'll give a song a listen specifically to pay attention to the words and by the time I'm listening to one line, I've already forgotten the previous one.) Enough that it's a bit startling when there's suddenly a line that mentions a cell phone. And all this time I resist the urge to go looking for any information on them beyond the music itself.

And then one day Spotify recommends me a playlist based on their music, and there's a new band thumbnail attached. (Or, new to me anyway.) It's a slightly better picture of the two lead singers. And this is still a teeny little thumbnail image on my phone, still pretty indistinct, but ... it's more than I had before. And I sit and I squint at that picture for a while, and I go, ".....Fuuuuck, he might actually be cute."

So finally I break, and I decide to look up a music video of the song that got me into this band in the first place. So I pop on over to Youtube and type in the name of the band and the song, and sure enough, there's the official music video, and there's a thumbnail for it with a picture of the guy. And again, this is a small and indistinct picture, but again, it's more than I had before. And again, I squint at this picture for a while and go, "........Wait a fucking minute."

Guess whose band it is. Go on, guess.

I had a friend I'd told about all this months previous, and I had to immediately text her and be like "IT'S JOEY FUCKING BATEY! IT'S BEEN HIM THE WHOLE TIME! WHAT THE FUUUUUCK!!!"

(For those who don't know, the band is called The Amazing Devil. The song that got me into them is "The Horror and the Wild", but my current favourite is "Drinking Song for the Socially Anxious", and my favourite for his voice in particular is "Farewell Wanderlust".)

So anyway, all that's to say, I really like this music....👉👈

[angelsanarchy]

One Long Weekend: - Clyde/YN One-Shot Series CH 02

"Fuck does this mean you get to taser me?" "100 Percent."

FRIDAY 10:30PM

Y/n stood at the foot of the stage taking photos of the metal band currently occupying the stage. Luckily they brought a crowd of headbangers rather than full violent moshing or else the photo quality would suffer. Baby had promised a few hundred bucks for some promotional photos for the local venues and after the rent hike, she could use the extra cash.

Tonight had been different than most. Usually she was strictly business, bouncing from one venue to the next getting the photos taken and crawling into bed at 2AM just to have Baby blowing up her phone for the images before she's even had a chance to get real sleep. Tonight she finally got a chance to meet the shaggy haired, stoner who seemed to travel with one of the local bands. She had thought maybe he was blind at one point with how he stared blankly at her but one of the bartenders assured her that he was pretty harmless, if not a pain in the ass.

"Hey Y/N, you staying for the next couple of bands? We've got some new guys coming in." The bartender knew Baby and had kind of taken me under their wing while I was working these jobs. Bartenders and bouncers seemed to really enjoy her company.

"I might stay for a few. I don't have anymore pressing items on my agenda so I might as well." Y/n packed up her camera and sat on a stool for at least two more performers before bidding farewell to the bartender and heading towards whatever commotion that was trapped at the front door. The owner of the venue had been arguing with someone, cussing loudly at him and telling him that he was banned.

"Oh don't be such a soft dick! I promise not to jump off the tables...much." The voice is what caught her attention.

"Tony! Hey Tony!" Y/n yelled trying to get the attention of the bouncer.

"STAY THE FUCK OUT!" The club owner shoved Clyde out the door and throwing his hands up as he told off the band he traveled with. Johnny tried to plead his case while she squeezed past and saw Clyde on his hands and knees.

"I deserved that." Clyde was trying to peel himself off the pavement. He looked up and met her gaze with a stupid grin.

"That's my girlfriend." Clyde stumbled forward putting his hands on her shoulders.

"In your dreams kid." Tony scoffed.

"Where have you fucking been?" Clyde whispered.

"I didn't get the bat signal that I would need to be peeling you off the sidewalk. That's clearly my fault." Y/n put rested her hand on Clyde's.

"Oh come on Y/n! You aren't really with these guys are you?" Tony whined as the rest of the band shuffled out. They all looked a little dejected.

"Unfortunately Tony, I do. I'm going to need to cash in on that favor. Can you talk to Pete for me? See if you can get them back in to play a set? Even if it's just tomorrow?" Johnny looked at Clyde who's mouth hung open.

"I can give it a try but this is your only favor. No more freebies." Tony shook his head before shaking Johnny's hand.

"Wow um I love Clyde's stalkee. Thank you!" Johnny reached out and pulled y/n into a hug.

"No problem. Crowd is better on Saturday anyway. Just try and keep this one from getting me put on the banned list." Clyde put his hand on his heart.

"Johnny, I told you she wants to have my little deaf babies." Johnny laughed.

"You better make sure she isn't trying to make babies with anyone with both functioning ears first bud." The van pulled up and the band started loaded it up with their gear.

"You gonna be okay to get home?" Y/n asked seeing Clyde stumbling over to her again.

"What answer would get you to come with us?" Clyde tested.

"I mean I know your boyfriend...or girlfriend or they-friend is probably waiting up-" She cut Clyde off.

"I'm not seeing anyone actually but I should probably get home. This is the first night I'll make it to the motor-rail before it closes for the night." Clyde seemed amused.

"What? No! You can't take the train. Come hang out for a bit and then I can drive you home. It's the least I can do for helping the guys out." Clyde tossed his thumb back towards the van as they finished loading it up.

"Honestly I don't know that I trust you to drive me anywhere right now. You're a little loose on your feet." Clyde swayed a bit as he stood in front of her.

"Even more of a reason to come with. I will let you drive. I'm already deaf, do you really want me to be cripple too?" Clyde showed y/n the hearing aid fitted to his ear. She could smell the weed on him when he swayed towards her. She didn't have anywhere to be for the rest of the night and its not like anyone was waiting at home.

"Fuck it. Who am I to let you crash and burn on a perfectly good long weekend." Y/n held her hand out for the keys and Clyde bounced on his feet, handing the keys over.

"Every weekend is a long weekend if you try hard enough." Clyde hopped into the passenger seat.

"Some of us have weekday jobs, sweetheart." Y/n slammed the driver door shut and looked back at the band.

"Guys, this is my new wife Y/n. Y/n these are the guys. They're all stupid fuckers but they play killer music." Clyde introduced her to the band and they threw empty bottles and trash at his introduction.

"It's a pleasure. If one of you can give me a coherent address, I will get you all there in one piece." Y/h promised firing up the van.

"310 W. Utah. It's the really shitty brick apartments on the corner of Tracy Park and Violet Ridge." Clyde said sitting back in the seat. She knew where that was. It was actually about 45 minutes from her apartment if there wasn't any traffic.

Y/n started to pull away from the curb and immediately the horn started blaring.

"Did you fuckers rig my steering wheel again?" Clyde whined returning the trash that was thrown at him.

"Just try not to use the turn signals. These idiots think it's funny when they mess with the only guy who has a van big enough to transport their shit for free." Clyde gave them the finger before reaching across y/n and flipping the signal off.

"No turning signals. Got it. I'm sure the Vegas residence are accustom to it by now." Clyde laughed at the joke as she drove.

"Does your deafness have a great story worth teasing you over or were you born with it?" Y/n asked. Clyde seemed surprised she bothered asking.

"No it's not too recent but I definitely wasn't born with it. You'll have to dig a little deeper for that story though." Clyde smirked. Y/n rolled her eyes with a snort.

"Always a give and take with you." She remarked.

"Hey I can always tell you and waste your payback for saving my ass but then how would you get home?" Clyde teased.

"Oh I won't need a ride home but I already have plans for that payback so by all means, please keep that story in the cards." Y/n kept her eyes on the road and her hands on the wheel as Clyde sighed.

"Fuck, you're gonna taser me aren't you?" Clyde turned his body towards her and she nodded.

"Oh 100%." Y/n's response made Clyde run his hands down his face.

The guys in the back of the van started laughing and ribbing Clyde about being tasered and he swatted at them.

"How are you going to tase a deaf guy? Isn't that like kicking a kid in a wheelchair?" Clyde offered.

"Absolutely not. One is a dick move and the other is for amusement. Besides I wear a night guard when I sleep but you don't see me using it as a crutch." Y/n said confidently.

"Having straight teeth and being down an entire ear are hardly a fair comparison." Clyde was drawn to her sassy nature and quick to joke sense of humor. Even if she had plans to taser him.

"We've all got our baggage. You'll live." She looked over at Clyde and he caught her wink. Fuck was he in trouble.

[astrojoy]

Astrovations #18

MESSAGE : If anyone knows who made these gifs/images, etc, please let me know so I can give them credit :) They are really cute and I bet they took awhile to make ✦ Thanks for your time, enjoy!

Lilith conjunct Mercury // Synastry - I saw this turn out where the Lilith person feels really comfortable conversing about taboo topics they may be into with the Mercury person. The Mercury person seems to bring out the Liliths need to express this raw energy through communication which can bring in some interesting topics over time

Air placements/doms - From my personal studies they may seem the most likely to not commit as easily when it comes to relationships. Not stating they can't commit at all, as their are plenty of these placements that are in deep connections and have been. Their airy nature of 'blowing with the wind' vibes kinda keeps them astride. Although quite the intellects when it comes to socializing, these placements each hold unique aspects from one another that can make it more of a struggle when it comes to the topic at hand. Aquarius holds some detatched qualities in general from what I've seen, Gemini can be kind of 'on the go' and may take longer to settle down, and Libra (ironically ruling the 7th house of relationships and even commitment itself) can have trouble making big decisions and may wonder off to experience a variety of relationships (soaking in their relationship knowledge). Random tips: I've noticed keeping a Gemini guessing or curious can really intrigue them, often boredom can be a root cause of some of these placements farewells, make sure to keep their mind stimulated :) Aquarius, although sociable, also enjoy their space. Giving them an enjoyable balance of freedom and playtime can bring them closer. Similar morals and having an open mind in general can be a big booster! ^^ When it come to Libra, try a romantic approach! (I've seen some like cheesy romance too) If it isn't really how you roll then devoting noticeable effort into trying to make the relationship work may impress them. Be fair when making decisions and try not to disrupt their peace with petty arguments, hold understanding debates and disagreements rather than wasting their time. Also remember that even though Libra is ruler of the 7th, they also rule Venus. Taurus being another ruler of Venus is (from what I've seen) more likely have an easier time commiting due to it's grounded and earthy nature. Taurus can be solid and stable (sometimes even stubborn to change decisions once one is made). Whilst Libra can practice fluid strides in the realm of relationships. Libra will like to explore them and find deeper understanding in each one

Lilith conjunction Venus // Synastry - Generally Venus person ends up falling for Lilith persons darker qualities. Even if the Venus sign is more lighthearted and generally not into the more raw and dark energy. The Venus person can be captivated by the Lilith persons appearance as well as their rebellious nature on the norms. Lilith can be pretty laid back or supportive about traditions and 'do what you want' depending on the chart and Venus may enjoy the independent vibe from the Lilith, it can offer freedom in the relationship platonic or not. Lilith person may be more defensive or closed off if they notice Venus person wanting to take the relationship to the next level too quickly, even if the Lilith person likes Venus person, they may be a tad guarded and not like the idea of being tied down. However this is also why Venus is fascinated by Lilith, Lilith can seem unattainable at times. Often since Lilith is very raw, pretty or not, about its placement in a chart, this can show Venus person revealing any trauma or deep things that they may not share with anyone else, the Lilith person may make them more comfortable to dig deeper within. Venus may teach Lilith person self love and help the other person embrace these things rather than be insecure or secretive about them. Lilith may find Venus person as cute or charming, especially if the Lilith persons chart supports it. Lilith can be quite in love with the Venus person's traits of the house Venus sits in. Venus holds the beautiful rose while Lilith paints the rose a bold black. This relationship can make you do a double take. Lilith as we all know, is untraditional as well, a black sheep at times, this relationship can be considered societally unconventional in some way whether it's through style, social class, personality opposition, age gap, race/culture, boss + worker or professor + student, there's always something that will make the 2 of these people differ

Libra Moon - Super fair people. Generally honest from what I've seen. May be biased or have a particular judgment on different topics but that's just normal for all people. Either way they are wonderful at debates (unless other aspects prove otherwise). They can hold up their end of the debate quite well too. Quite open to other perspectives, even if they don't change their opinion on something

Libra/Venus placements - I've always heard that physically they are all symmetrical, which is quite true but I've also seen if Venus is in harsh aspects with Saturn it can cause some possible asymmetrical occurrences within the bone structure. Wherever Venus is placed may give a heads up but Saturns placement may also count for a few :)

Venus // Attraction - A lot of us know that the sign your venus is in can be attractive. Virgo venus's can find Virgo ascendant physically attractive just as cancer venus's can find themselves captivated by a cancer sun. However besides the Venus's sign, looking at other planets or asteroids that are similar in some way to your venus can also be seen as intriguing. Like my scorpio venus, I've also been attracted to people with lilith dominant in their chart. A leo venus may find someone with asteroid Apollo conjunct their ascendant as pretty too :)

Aries 6th house - So far from what I've seen, I've had coworkers that were very honest, hardworking and no BS on how they do the job. They weren't overall serious, like they were very laid back and down-to-earth people when the time was right. Some had a sailors mouth. Very strong and resilient coworkers I've had (mainly emotionally but can be physical too). Personally, check where your mars is placed for any extra info. In my case it only had a small effect but for others it can vary! :)

Gemini Venus + Scorpio Venus - In romantic relationships is such a nice aspect. This may seem very odd as these 2 signs may differ often when it comes to prefered styles and even personal interests (unless other aspects prove otherwise) however, they literally feed off of each other. This couple is the type to not get bored (If one does then it may be Gemini) but it's quite unlikely due to Scorpios black veil and Geminis expansive knowledge (Their curiosity helps them to keep learning more about one another). Both venus signs are intrigued by the depths of the mind. Both tilting their head curiously on how the other person works or why they do what they do. Scorpio is more likely to quietly observe whilst Gemini may feel more inclined to ask. These 2 will try to find out random info about the other and can enjoy talking about complex topics. Intellectual talks and psychologically analyzing each other is what this couple does. Gemini will be drawn in by Scorpios enigmatic nature and will want to know more, wheras Scorpio, already being the type to study and observe people they like, will equally be just as thrilled, as they can enjoy Geminis intellect. This couple reminds me of sapiosexuality. Their is also a carefree and silly touch to these two, contrary to Scorpios influence, the Scorpio venus may open up greatly around the Gemini venus with some time. Gemini is more likely to make the first move and start small talk of some sort (unless the Scorpio venus has opposition with more open aspects/planet placements). I will say a major difference between these 2 is scorpios 'ride or die' loyalty and geminis 'fly with the wind'. In other words, they both have different pulls towards love, scorpio is intense while gemini is carefree. But with every venus synastry that works well, there can be a strong bond :)

Saturn in 3rd House // Juno Persona Chart - I've seen this in the JPC of someone married and their spouse would communicate in a more serious or authoritative tone. Although this isn't for everyone (especially if Saturn is nicely aspected in usually in good tides within your natal and/or JPC) it can also introduce serious conversations or friction in communication. Communication may slowly get better once these two take time to understand each other. Sometimes this can also show two people talking about work often. They may come home from work and instantly gossip about it or etc xD. Wherever Saturn is placed may give some frequent conversation topics that may start up with the spouse. May not have as many neighbors, neighbors may be older or conventional, may not be as close with neighbors as some others may be. Sometimes communication may also feel limited, this may be due to language barrier or even just differing personalities between both counterparts. Connection between both people's siblings may be restricted (I've seen it happen but this is def not for everyone)

Jupiter in the 3rd // Juno Persona Chart - I've seen this create a diverse range of topics between the married couples conversations. They will be on one topic about the meaning of life and then move onto whether or not cereal is a soup. This is the couple that will have 'tea time' frequently. Talking about anything and everything. It can be difficult to peel these 2 off of one another when they get deep into a subject. Can have conversations based on intellectual pursuits as well as religion based themes. Both may go on frequent short trips, whether it be walks in the park, grocery shopping, restaurants, etc. Local peeps. Could have a lot of neighbors and/or a good relationship with them. Can hang out with each other's siblings often or one of them has more than 1 sibling (haven't seen this aspect play out but could def be a factor). These two will eventually know each other very well, possibly even more-so than there families if this is the right relationship

Moon in the 3rd // Juno Persona Chart - The planet of emotions and our inner selves in the house of communication introduces topics of healing as well as passion depending on the subject. A married couple may have many deep conversations laced with comfort and understanding. The person you marry may also take on a more caring and emotional nature when talking to you, just like an ideal mother would when being patient with their child. This can be in a passionate and energetic way if opposition or conjunct mars, or even a more sweet and sensual way if doing the same with venus. I've seen if Saturn conjuncts moon in this house then it can kinda lead to restricted feelings regarding conversations, like the person you marry may be more closed off on such topics as well as expression. Moon in this house can show conversations where both express their emotion greatly, whether it be in serious or silly ways depends on the chart and people involved. Wonderful placement regarding neighbors if in good aspects

NN/North Node in the 2nd/Taurus - Massive themes of finding ones self worth. Struggling with oneself through insecurities. This can be due to physicality, financial income, intellectual value and even purpose. Some with this placement may also learn that material items don't determine ones value (Ex: a phase where you think being trendy will help you fit in and be worthy/cool in other people's eyes). Since Taurus/2nd house can also rule the throat and voice, this aspect can show a need to speak up rather than be walked on like a rug (Like the song "Speechless" from that one girl who played in Aladdin) Learning to balance your boundaries will be significant. In early years these people can live off of other people's view on them or can easily have a hard time saying 'no'. Possibly bullied at one point since this group is learning about healthy boundaries (like stated before :) This group of lads/gals can be indulgent as well. In vedic NN becomes Rahu and Rahu can be what id describe as... Greedy? Wanting more and more of something xd. This placement may enjoy the satisfactory of food and shopping when they get the chance

NN/North Node in the 4th/Cancer - This placement can show a person who is protective as well as a homebody. I've seen this create people who long to one day create a stable/beautiful home or family. Generally we have a group of individuals who are learning to seek peace and comfort through who they deem as family. Sure, family can be family by blood, but this aspect takes it to another level. Sometimes you will find out that certain people through a biological lense may not actually be the 'family' you thought they were. Sometimes you will find that others in life earn a space in your heart to be called family, such as friends/coworkers/lovers/etc. Your job is to find them. Your job is to also find out what brings comfort into your environment. How does one bring a family together closer? What is my lineage and how do I get in touch with my roots of the tree? I've heard this placement can create a deep connection with the mother however I've seen just the opposite before too so within different charts it can vary. Some here may want big homes or families and with try hard to achieve it

NN/North Node in the 7th/Libra - Since the NN represents where we're headed (and even our purpose in this lifetime) this placement in the 7th doesn't have to just indicate diving into platonic or business connections for the most part. I've observed that a purpose for this individual can be to get married or create a committed romantic/sexual union. Marriage may be super important in changing things in your life once it comes. Travelling with people may also prove important. This placement can also talk about having a purpose revolved around learning how to commit to things in general. A lot of people with this placement may find it hard to stay tied down to a relationship for too long or even circumstances. I've seen people struggle to finish projects and general activities thoroughly. Simply, commitment (not just relationship commitment) and partnerships (platonic/love) can be big lessons for ya :) This group will most likely have multiple relationships in this lifetime since NN turns to Rahu in vedic, a placement that loves more rather than less of something

Libra/Aries/Capricorn/Scorpio Mercury - I've noticed tend to not lie much. They can make a white lie every now and then if there's a good reason, however they don't go out of their way to make extravagant lies unless it's a more serious situation

Trine aspects to the MC - I've noticed represents what people like about you. If the general public would describe you, the planet/asteroid at play has those traits sometimes mentioned. Ex: Jupiter can make someone appear optimistic or at least open minded. The public can like this person for their intellect and morals. Depending on the chart, this person can also be known for their culture and travels. They can also have an expansive or big quality about them that stands out. Uranus (I have this in my astroblog chart) and I've been known for my blogs odd aesthetic and eccentric nature. A few people have described it as "unique" which adds to Uranus's alien vibe ig 😂 in other circumstances it can also talk about the public liking the persons circle of friends or even their technological abilities (depends on the chart). This can also describe someone who stands out or has a good approach to public justice and humanitarian related topics

Quintile aspects to the MC - Can be a noticable quirk to you. Something about the planet/asteroid shows potential and can grow with time. May be something people notice as they observe you more often. Ex: Mercury could come off as witty or knowing a lot about a particular subject. May have a talent at keeping a conversation aflame. Venus can have something such as their ability to decorate or even their fashion skills to be pleasant. Maybe they have a charming impression on people, etc :)

Opposition aspects to the MC - Can show what immediately comes off of your energy, whether it's subconsciously or not it can often always be in the air. Like an underlying scent of someone's perfume. You may not be able to see it, but you can smell it. Ex: Mars can have an air of Independence. They can tend to have a leaderlike vibe or someone who can steer the boat. The public can find this person to also be charming in general. People may sense their more go-getter energy and may find it exciting at times. Neptune on the other hand can have an air of mystery. The general public may not understand too much about them and can easily find themselves confused. As if the person lives a private life outside of what they show. The person can have a detatched vibe which can make them seem like an introvert even if their chart proves the opposite

Square aspects to the MC - This shows where clash can come into play, especially with the wrong crowd/people. This planets/asteroids qualities are noticeable (ofc) but can stir the pot and cause misunderstanding. Pay attention to the house where the planet sits as well as how it interacts with your chart. It will make it easier to find out. (A Leo sun conjunct ascendant squaring the MC may come off as too flashy/direct/boastful/overconfident/people may get jealous of their ability to shine) Examples include but or not limited to: Venus - Can attract unnecessary attention or creeps, people may think you're a people pleaser/over-indulgent/flirtatious or a player, people can get jealous of your physical appearance/balance + control/easygoing personality. Mercury - People may think you're a know-it-all/too talkative/too quiet (depending on the house mercury sits). People may not like your communication style at times either or find it odd. People may gossip about you or at worst, start rumors. They can also misunderstand you or misinterpret your words. Saturn - Authority figures may try to dominate you (bosses may be difficult or stressful to deal with, maybe even asking too much of you). Career might grow slowly or feel restricted. You may be seen by the public as serious/strict even if you aren't (rbf is a small example lmao). People may want to out-better you sometimes in your occupation. ETC

Mars Trine Lilith - Can be a great role model for others when it comes to motivating people to follow their passions and embrace their rebellious side. You don't try to over dominate others in order to feel powerful, instead your ride your own stride. If people attempt to question your choices in life you may feel more inclined to listen, and even if you don't agree you can tell them that with ease and move on. Often this placement can show a wonderful relationship with the sexual nature and expression. These people embrace their rawness or authenticity as well, and don't feel the need to over express this uniqueness, they may effortlessly attract people

Mars square Lilith - This can feel kinda tense for this person as well as the people around them. Although great people when it comes to embracing their more primal nature just as a trine aspect also would, they can be quite defensive too. If someone questions your choices and rebellious qualities, you may feel that they are trying to overpower you in some way. Maybe that they are judging you or trying to get you to change. You can feel inclined to control the situation, you can feel restricted and will want to take action to stop this immediately. Depending on the Mars, their actions can differ. A more dominating Mars can act impulsively and question someone else on their choices (as a way to stand up for themselves) or even change their tone, a more reclusive Mars may try and change the subject or glare (if irritated), someone can possibly get anxious even. Not always, but a lot of times this isn't on purpose, as it's just their Lilith trying to protect their passions and actions. It would be best to understand why these individuals do this, as there's always a reason for some kind of learned trait. Maybe they were over-dominated in youth or maybe they were commonly ridiculed for their choices in creative expression or freedom. They just need some healing and to find a healthy balance with their vulnerability towards criticism

Mercury/Venus conjunct ascendant or in 1st house - I've commonly found in people who age slower physically. Venus can add some puffiness/slight fat stores to the cheeks of the face as well as create a softer complexion with balanced fat in the body. Mercury is similar in replicating this and can keep the skin complexion healthy

Sun in the 4th - I've seen show someone who was close to their father figure more so than the mother. Doesn't have to be biological either, just anyone playing the masculine figure within the home. People with this can also be important in the household (even if others around them or in the family don't see it, their role can be quite significant. Their sun shines in the 4th after all) I saw someone with this who had a load of responsibilities that although, are a big deal and changed a lot, generally went unnoticed. Father/masculine figure could have also been important in someway, whether it be to the person with this placement or the homelife itself. This placement can be a good indicator of being a good parent or protector, since the sun (our ego/self) shines in the house of home/family life. They can act as a shield to others and stand up for the people they love. Also can play a significant role in the new family they make in the future

Asteroid Bennu (101955) - Just like a butterfly or phoenix, this asteroid can represent rebirth and transformation. This asteroid from what I've observed and studied can also serve as a 2nd sun in my opinion. I have frequently seen a common pattern in charts, where this placement can express a need to shine in whatever house it sits in. Whatever house it sits in will show you where you will always continue to grow and emerge greater. It can also show you what can help you transform. This placement also shows us what we have a knack at and shine among others. Ex: Mines in the 12th house and I've noticed I go through many rebirths while in solitude and delving deeper into spirituality. I also shine in this house due to my psychic senses and ability to connect to the astral realms (it's conjunct mercury which clarifies my ability to communicate with the dead). In the 6th house can show one transforming when focusing on their health and daily routines (maybe even animals). These people shine when helping others and giving a lending hand to people. Often wonderful planners and hardworking people when it comes to responsibilities. You can generally trust these people to help you with random tasks. However I've noticed a lot here can be selfless too and should create sturdy boundaries. Can outshine coworkers as well as learn from them. 5th house will show transcending through artistic pursuits/hobbies/creative endeavors. You may find yourself maturing or experiencing more personal growth after you have kids or start the dating game as well. You often shine over many when you stick to your hobbies and teach others how to let loose and have fun. If in a competitive creative field you may out perfom many. Saw this in the chart of a singer

Lilith conjunct NN - I have some personal experience with this placement so this explanation also comes from time of dealing with it as well as what I observe between the relationship of these 2. This is not limited to just the way mine played out but also how it can potentially play out ^^ This placement can show a life path that at times can be riddled with moments of feeling tied down. Maybe there's times when you want to experience new things but Lilith can't freely express herself like she wants. This is where you learn independence and the value of freedom. This is also where you learn to step into your own power. In this life it is part of your purpose to gain a form of individualality. You may not fit in with mainstream media but when you find your community of people who you relate to, you feel fulfilled in some way. In adolescence many here may have been walked on or controlled, whether it be parent(s) or schoolmate(s), etc. Often judged or lightly questioned for the choices you make, you're also learning to oversee those things and follow where your soul leads (in a healthy way :3). Criticism may work for some people however this no longer pertains to you and your individual worth. Sexuality is a strong theme as well. Many I've seen with this can be uncomfortable with it and learn to express this wild side of themselves later (while others express this wild side just more openly rather than a recluse). Your purpose is to not try and fit in, in order to be accepted. Instead you will come to terms and learn to accept your authentic self. This placement can make a complete turn from quiet and pleaser energy and instead to open and honest. You may attract many Lilith moments in the house Lilith/NN sits in (prob a lil more than usual since it's apart of your purpose). Lilith is apart of your purpose and you will embrace her qualities, often this placement is learned through challenges where you are transformed to have to use her traits in order to protect yourself or actually feel free for once. Many here will also live a rebellious life, whether that be dressing taboo, having hobbies that many would silently (or loudly 🙄😭) judge, holding independent traits, going against the grain in general, and etc.

Random Songs I Think Represent Random Placement dominants 💖:

Aries Placements💄

Virgo Placements 🌻

Capricorn Placements 🗻

Lilith Dominant ⛓️

(Also Libra/Pisces/Scorpio placements ngl)

Ceres Dominant

(Also Virgo/Gemini/Cancer placements tbf)

[kazukazuhas]

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 💌 ꒱ old friends, lloyd garmadon.┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 💌 ꒱ act one ;; scene five┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️

  ୧ ⎯⎯ GREEN NINJA

୧ ⎯⎯ WARNINGS ;; some stalking ;; alluding to robbery and possible murder ;; some injures ;; lloyd being a cute dude ;; reader has anxiety and not have that strong of a will to live

  ୧ ⎯⎯ NOTES ;; who knew that i would forget to included the other main character for a little bit. i tried to write anxiety to the best of my ability, but i'm tired af rn

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  ୧ ⎯⎯ 1 IMAGE ;; TEXT [CLICK FOR BETTER QUALITY]

  maybe this was a bad idea: coming to the store by yourself without anyone else to accompany, to chase away and ease your nerves. anxiety began to rack its thin finger against your heart as the car parked off to the side of the pavement. nya checked her phone quickly, angling the screen just short of out of your sight but you don't bother about what she's busy with both out of decency and being out of it.

  the car's safety tried to call you back, singing a song of comfort as you reluctantly stepped out of the vehicle to complete your own tasks of the day. nya, while in the midst of your worrying and fastening breath hidden behind the disposable mask you grabbed, mentioned something you don't quite understand entirely from the slightly deafness you felt but nonetheless the least go along with it as she starts the car, waves and finally drove off to her own destination. maybe you should've let pixal when she offered to accompany you– well too bad it's too late now. 

  it's quick, you think to yourself to reassure the panic from settling in, a simple in and out. all you needed was a few things and you'd be out in a jiff, and the house was nothing but a good ten minutes away– you choose to believe that it is near instead of its realistic distance being further rather than closer. you hesitantly step inside the small convenience store, counting all the heads you see before walking around the side of the aisles to find the one you needed exactly. 

  relief flooded you like a thin stream of mist, the bell rang as the last person and their child, who was half embarrassed by their mother, left the store while bidding a rather noisy goodbye to the clearly tired cashier, who only rolled their eyes before continuing on with their own personal work. you pick the things you need up quickly, checking their prices quickly before grabbing a pack of some ramen you liked and a few energy drinks from one of the neatly packed fridges. skylor did say they normally restocked the night before saturday. with a good attempt, you tried to seem calm while walking up to the cashier. 

  they greeted you softly, still in their own haze of thought and daydreaming when you get to them after a quick moment. they half-smiled before continuing on with their job, taking each of the items from your short list and cashing them. their calm energy radiated and softened your nerves for a moment. they were just someone no older than you, mostly fresh out of high school and maybe even trying to make ends meet? or they were trying to earn enough to cover the cost of university or college, you couldn't tell.

  it was something so fascinating about the whole — outside a single perspective, were the interesting lives of thousands of millions to billions, all filling the pages of their books with ink crafted to them in their own unique writing.

  they handed you the bagged items and slip after they received the cash you handed back to them, letting out a small farewell greeting and going back to their own work and continuing on with their day. never caring of whether it was the last time you'd see them or if this was just the first. 

  but your mind was at ease– maybe you were hyper fixated by anxiety thumping against your head at first but it ceased, at least until you made it halfway down the road. something warned you, a gut feeling that meshed with anxiety and worry that told you to turn back and call someone to pick you up. your heart picked up the pace the faster you began to walk, your breath left you in a heave and pant. 

  regrettably, you spare a look behind you. 

  nothing.

  the anxiety rushes forward, sending your nerves on an electrified run the moment the presence lurking after your steps vanishes from your sights and senses. it crashed roughly and flooded rationality, but you kept the fast pace and reframed from breaking out into a desired sprint back to skylor's place. 

  the steps became loudly, your sometimes false suspicion was now correct; someone was following you and not so discreetly. from the sound of the footsteps, they were heavy and following your exact direction you were heading. and you doubt they were of good intentions. 

  "fuck– please go away," you whispered under your breath, the only person who would have only heard was yourself, but you heard the desperation and fear that something might happen. 

  if only you were in shape, it's been forever since your last workout or try to keep yourself fit and in good health. since your high school career started coming to a close in your last couple years, it swiped you of any energy and time you had left outside your preexisting tuitions and classes. sometimes you wonder how you were still standing when you didn't have any of those energy drinks. 

  there was a drunken snicker from behind you, warily you glance back and catch the sight of a stranger watching you walk at a fastened pace with the utmost interest and caution. 

  you turned, a wrong one by your misjudgement and settling panic rising further than before. you notice you're panting slightly at how your body is coming to terms with how hard its work to keep you moving. vaguely you noticed the mistake you made, you were supposed to take the turn after. and it might cost you gravely. 

  your skin itches, a crawling feeling stretches up your arm and it becomes unreal how disgusting you begin to feel the moment the stranger grabs your arm. they grabbed you— it takes a moment to register that they managed to get a hold on you, but now your back hits the hard wall with a thud that rings heavy against the street's bare, lonely walls. the pain cracks through your body, a thick hurt fleet from your back and along your body with a burning touch. that's a faint sound of the contents from your run earlier meeting the ground, its vague against the loud ringing echoing in your hazy mind. 

  the stranger asks of something from you, their face blurry with the sky and wall meshing together. they ask a second time, louder and much clearer but it still didn't reach your hazy mind. 

  silver, no. a shiny grey moved from side to side in your sight, it was getting hard to see from your hazing eyes and tiredness getting to you. nothing seemed real at the moment, maybe your head hit the wall as well– oh that could be a concussion.

  there was yelling, there was someone else who caught the attention of the stranger who thought of taking advantage of your half conscious state to take your hard earned cash, maybe something darker, death. it would be fine if the latter had occurred, you think. you close your eyes reluctantly. 

  "hey, hey–" the other stranger called to you, the one who chased the other one off. you found their clothing funny, all clad in green and black with a hood and mask hiding their face from everyone. "what's your name? can you tell me?" you tried to focus on their voice, the stranger sounded as young as you. you answered them with your name, fading from consciousness for a moment. their voice brought you back, "do you know who i am?" you shook your head as much as you could manage to, resting your face in the hand they held it, your face with. 

  "i'm the green ninja." ninja? so they were real?

  "gonna pick you up- okay there we go. i'm going to take you to the hospital, do you have an emergency contact?" the ninja asks slowly, letting you process each word before saying the next. they wait patiently but not saying a word, but kept moving, you don't notice the rooftops and breeze until you reopen your eyes. 

  "skylor chen." the ninja chuckles, seemingly knowing of who to call. they quietly thank you for the answer before jumping to the next rooftop and onwards until finally reaching the hospital. 

  haze. haze all you felt. 

  you all but remember that day, except you'll remember the person in the strange clothes. they were quite interesting.

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˗ˏˋ ꒰ 💌 ꒱ kazukazuhas copr. 2023 darling┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️

[gideonysis]

good, wonderful angel :')

[ghostieeeee]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎: 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐄?

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

Word count: 2.3K

Warnings: Ngl, I wrote this a few months ago, and I'm honestly too lazy to edit some parts, so excuse the poor quality 🙏🏻 Also possible spelling errors? :D

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

A pleasant smell, a smell that reminds you of a particular warmth, a particular comfort, is what greets you with a wide smile and an even wider embrace as you step into Yunjin's place of residence. The interior was cosy, easy to look at and confine within.

Taking another step into the dorm, your eyes drift to the outer canopy of your umbrella. It’s a splash away from creating a waterfall as rain still trails from the end tip, small swells of puffy water clump in cults- shining so delicately under the impression of whatever light it can grasp at. “Here-” Yunjin says, holding her hand out to you as she closes the door behind you.

Handing her the rain-stained umbrella, she places it within a convenient umbrella rack, hanging it with a gentle ease. “Please, make yourself comfortable” She smiles, nodding towards the main living space.

“Thanks” you reply, giving her a grateful nod as you move to take your pick of seat, instantly finding yourself sitting on a soft spot of cushioned padding, naturally lining the surface of her stainless couch.

“Looks like we’re just on time” You look over to where Yunjin had nodded to, eyebrows furrowing slightly as your brain loads the visual of the window behind you and the scene it held.

And surely enough, just as Yunjin had said, it was instantly proven that you had gotten to her place just in time. The outside world beyond the window was that of a mob raid of brainless rain. It thrashed around, whipping and slashing at the glass pane as if it were desperate to get inside, desperate to flee the harshness of the outside situation. But it was bound, flung, and pinned down in a raw entertainment for the twisted sky. The clouds let out great gouts of something between either sorrow or boast- nothing is ever truly certain anymore.

“It seems so” you smile, eyes following the rigid trails the small clusters of water had left behind, little slipstreams for their fellow kind allow for flocks and herds of rushing liquid to squelch themselves from existence- waving a small farewell in their formula race. That's where you draw the winner's flag.

“It wouldn't have ended so well if we had got caught up in that-” Yunjin begins,“being ill isn’t something I plan to do” you hum at the words, averting your attention to the way she moulds herself into the furniture- almost seeming as if she was the house instead of the tenant.

“You? Being ill?” You pause, your direct vision tracing over the smaller decorations present within the room- particularly the small vase of flowers on the coffee table- a delicate assortment of light pinks and soft purple roses- presumably plastic. It’s cute. “Sounds like a nightmare”

“Huh?” her eyebrows raise as her mouth goes slightly slack “Why? How?”

“Relax” you let out an airy laugh, mind relaying the visual image of Yunjin's face,”I’m joking”

“Sorry but who is this?” A new voice interrupts from beyond your sight, soft yet loud as it intrudes on your small conversation.

“Rosie,” Yunjin begins,”I thought you’d be asleep”

“I was” she smiled, her face going smooth against the odds,”But I woke up and now I'm thirsty”

“Oh… well I washed the dishes earlier” Yunjin pauses, glancing back to you,”Rosé, meet Y/n”

It was apparent that this roommate was acting, although, it's also apparent that you’re rather oblivious. Her smile had widened and her balance shifted from one leg to another as she looked at you. “Hello Y/n. I hope Yunjin isn’t freaking you out too much”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yunjin scoffs jokingly, standing up “Y/n, do you want a drink or anything?”

“Uhm… a water please” you tilt your head down, powering on your phone to see the few missed calls and unanswered messages from Lia and your friends.

“A water? You sure? You can have anything”

“Your stash of coffee that even I’m not allowed?” Rosé asks, folding her arms expectantly as she leans slightly closer to her brown haired friend. “Even that” Yunjin nods approvingly.

“Nope, I'm good with just water. Thank you though” You offer them both a smile before they disappear into the kitchen.

You open your phone again and instantly begin to read through your texts.

“Sorry that took so long, Rosie needed me to cut her some apples while she made herself a drink" Yunjin apologises, placing your tall glass of water on the coffee table for you, causing the sea of chilled water to delicately swoosh around like an enraged storm was present within the room with you.

“I thought she was thirsty?” You eye the taller girl as she crashes back into her seat. “So did I… guess she got hungry too” Yunjin smiles, readjusting the way she’s sat to face you better, her elbow upon the top of the couch. “You’re sure you don't want anything else?”

“Yunjinnn!” You almost whine, laughing as the other girl acts almost confused at the sudden drag of her name “I'm sure”

“Sure, sure?”

“Yes”

“Certain?”

“Absolutely certain”

You take a second to just stare at her, your eyes meeting for a brief moment before you suddenly both burst out laughing. An ugly combination of belly-rupturing chortles and sniffles fill the space, bouncing from wall to wall as if the dorm was a soft play area.

“Fine, fine” Yunjin squeezes out between a particularly deep breath,”If you say so”

“I do say so” you claim, calming yourself down as you reach over to coin your drink from its stance.

“Fair enough…” Yunjin pauses, leaning slightly closer to you with a curious glance,”Can I ask you a question?”

You take a second to think, but ultimately nod regardless,”Yeah, sure. Go ahead”

“Are you close with your parents? You mentioned them earlier, about having a set list of jobs to pick from and whatnot…” Yunjin's voice lowers as her sentence comes to an end, her eyes evidently searching yours for a hidden reaction.

You open your mouth to speak, but it’s almost as if even the word ‘yeah’ refused to crawl from your lips, and instead, evaporated at the base of your tongue, leaving like a mist into the depths of a pending volcano, or even the pending of what could easily be described as a crime scene. However, you had to force the four letters out, almost choking upon the basic syllables. “Yeah”

But that was arguably the most simple answer possible. Anyone could say “Yeah” and get away on less than even a warning. Like, for instance, someone being pulled over for speeding- the officer could give them a speech as long as a university essay- and all the offender would have to do is say “Yeah” to get away from the situation faster. Or even a student in a behavioural meeting- the staff could bash on for hours about the students behaviour and attitude- and all the student would have to do is say “Yeah” and leave, only to return the next day and do the exact same thing over... but it worked!

So, the need and urge to expand on your response bubbled around like a plague within your chest. “Yeah- I mean, I haven't talked to them in a while, but personally, i'd like to say we’re okay”

Your hair sticks like another layer of skin on the back of your neck as you gulp down some cool air, feeling it swash around within your anxious lungs. Her look was almost venomous, like the point of a snake’s fang, or a sharpened elephant tusk. It almost hurt to look at her with how much your throat closed at the idea of… everything.

“You sure? You don't look or sound so sure about that” You sigh at her concern, taking another sip of your drink before tutting gently. “You really don’t need to answer, I just wanted to understand if you’re close with your family or not…”

“No. no. It’s okay. Trust me, it’s just complicated. I love my family as much as the next guy, but they’re not always available. I can never seem to call them anymore, not on their personal numbers anyway. I have to call the homeline…” You almost cringe at the fact your family even have a homeline. It just seems so outdated. “-and even then, it’s not them who answers”

“Who answers?”

Pausing, you almost feel your bottom lip quiver. “My grandpa” you smile sadly, exhaling deeply through your mouth. “He lives with my parents due to paralysis in his left leg. His wife- my grandma- still lives in another country due to visa issues. So when I can't get ahold of my parents, I ring the family homeline and talk to my grandpa about grandma and how much they’ve talked”

Noticing a small smile playing on the plush of Yunjin's lips, you can’t help but smile too. “That’s cute” she beams, holding eye contact as she does so. Somehow, her smile felt different this time, and it somehow made the miraculous happen- a certain heat reached your neck. It’s tingly, and it’s certainly not unwelcome as the onlook of your new friend ceases to flatten your mood.

“We’re probably the closest in the family, me and my grandpa. He’s always telling me about a new story every few weeks- and a life lesson that comes along with it too”

“He sounds like a charming man. I can really see where you got yours from”

There it was again, the same warmth that resided upon your neck just seconds ago was back for a suffocating round two. It strangled you in a calm grasp. Your neck acts as a bottle of rose champagne, fizzing and bubbling the more it’s aggravated- rising in volume and colour with the increase of verbal intimacy and attentiveness present within the room.

You were going to need some time to get used to this girls' compliments...

“Thank you, Yunjin”

Yunjin laughs, shaking her head,”Please call me Jennifer, or Jen for short”

Your eyebrows almost lift in surprise, a nickname? “If you say so Yunji- I mean Jen” you’re quick to salute jokingly, face going slack as a smile threatens your lips into a not so covert grin.

This only makes her laugh again though, her hand moving to brush through the brown of her silky hair away from covering her face.

“Sorry” you mumble bashfully, a small smile finally breaking from your lips.

“It’s all good” Yunjin pauses to yawn, her hand moving to now cover her mouth as her jaw inevitably stretches open,”don’t sweat it”

“Are you tired?” You ask, feeling kind of stupid now that you think about it. Why else would she be yawning? “I can leave if you want to get some rest-”

“No!” Yunjin surprises both you and herself with the sudden uproar in her tone, her voice reaching far beyond what it normally does. She coughs,”sorry, it’s just that it’s still raining, and I don’t want you getting sick… you know?”

Glancing back to the window, you take a mental note at the progression of the on-going storm outside. It looks far worse now… “Yeah… I do understand, thanks for looking out for me”

“It’s no big deal, you would’ve done the same for me... I hope?”

“I would've” You confirm, observing as she nuzzles her head against a pillow, her body language seeming more so relaxed. “There’s no way I’d let you go out in that”

"That's good to know"

You hum,"you never answered my other question though…" A flash of concentration blimps within her eyes,"What question?"

"Are you tired?"

"What? What's that got to do with the question you asked earlier? A tired brain wouldn't stop me from remembering, it shouldn't-"

"No, Jen" you smile,"the question was, are you tired?"

Her face morphs to one of disappointment and understanding, eyebrows tightly pinched together "Oh… sorry, that must've completely slipped my mind," she laughs awkwardly. “I guess I am tired”

“You should rest then”

“But who’ll keep you company? I don’t want to leave you alone… not because I don’t trust you or anything! I just want-”

“Want to be a good host?” You cut her off with a smile,”Yeah, I understand”

“I’m glad you do, I don’t want to leave the impression that I don’t care”

“I could never get that impression from you” you reassure, gaze shifting to the blonde that’s walked into the room again, a contentless plate in one hand while her phone occupies the other. You make brief eye contact before she continues on into what you've mapped out to be the kitchen. You sip on your water again.

“What are you looking at?” Yunjin asks, turning to evaluate the rest of the room with a suspicious eye.

“Your roommate came back out” is what you would’ve said… if you hadn’t noticed the small flare in her eyes, a look that spoke a thousand words without a vocal meaning. But instead, you just shook your head. “Nothing, just thinking”

“Oh?” She turns back to face you, quirking an eyebrow at your response,”What were you thinking about?”

"Not much," you smile before downing the rest of your drink,"mind if I go and refill this?"

"Not at all. It's just through there," she points in the general direction.

"Thanks"

Walking into the kitchen meant coming face to face with Yunjin's roommate and her more innocent looking features. Rosie, a name you remember so vaguely, though, that’s not what she used to call her.

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

: A new college means new faces, and although you already have a set of friends to hang out with, you can't help but be drawn to the two campus heartthrobs... and they can't help but be drawn to you too...

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

ᶜᵘᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ ✄-----------------------------------------

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: [𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍]

@cosettesrants @havex00 @1luvkarina @lesleepyyy @luvjanexx @jeindall777

@xen-16 @sewiouslyz @verdanst @pandafuriosa60 @misclsims

[sunsolii]

Typography assignment: choose a poem and design it. The poem I chose was Napoleon's Farewell by Lord Byron.

Apologies for the poor quality of the image, InDesign doesn't like to be exported as a jpeg or png😅

[uwabbittuwabbit]

Colors of…the Repsol Honda Team

At the announcement that every team is dropping a vintage livery come Silverstone, I am taking it upon myself to dig into the history of each team’s liveries. We shall start with Repsol Honda, the much storied, and nowadays much troubled manufacturer. The HRC official colors of red, white and blue purportedly represent passion (red), purity (white) and calm (blue), qualities that can be ascribed to winning riders, to paraphrase. In fact, the origin of these colors is much simpler: the colors debuted on the bike of one Morio Sumiya, who participated in the 24 Hours of Le Mans representing Honda. Little imagination is required then, to conclude as to why these colors were used.

Repsol’s current brand image is the work of the Wolff Olins consultation, only slightly altered in the passage of time. The change was brought on by the corporatization of Repsol, which as such needed something more commercially recognizable—an R encased in concentric circles just wouldn’t do anymore. The result is the orange and red sun motif with the white strike-through, which embody such ideas like that of “energy”, “professionalism”, “stability”, “strength” etc. Take of that what you will.

Nebulous brand concepts aside, what can be said definitively is that the bikes of the Repsol Honda team have become cornerstones of the grid, easily identifiable in their trademark orange (fun fact: they were the first team to paint the inside of their tires). Seeing as the Repsol partnership is due to end after this season, this may not be the case in the future. But we are concerned about the prospects of the past, so let’s round it up:

500cc Era Liveries

Pre Repsol

Not much explaining needed on my part because these are liveries that largely feature the HRC colors with a few other accents. This was probably their most experimental era as evidenced by the variation presented below:

From left to right, top down: Freddie Spencer circa 1983, Wayne Gardner circa 1990, Mick Doohan circa 1994, Wayne Gardner circa 1980 (exact date not sure)

Post Repsol

Back when Honda first partnered with Repsol their newly minted logo was in its first iteration, featuring a kind of teal color and some additional “speed” lines added on the bottom of the sun. All of Mick Doohan’s championship wins from 1995 onwards would be with some variation of the giant Repsol sun stamped on the side of his bike, the teal color permeating the rest of the cladding in an evocation of the sky. His last season in MotoGP would be spent with this livery too.

Top to bottom, left to right: Mick Doohan 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998

Honorable mention goes to Valentino Rossi’s Nastro Azzurro Honda! He wasn’t in Repsol Honda yet but I feel it would be remiss not to mention and certainly not hard to miss, considering that shade of yellow…

Valentino Rossi, 2000 and 2001

A special shoutout to the 2001 Hawaiian print bike!

MotoGP Era

For all of Valentino’s short tenure at Repsol Honda, he sure had as much fun as he could. Two championships aside, this did not apply equally to the livery—unfortunately, it should be seen at this point that the team already had a penchant for the same old thing.

Valentino Rossi 2002 and 2003

2003, running a special livery farewelling Honda

Honda would continue their successes with a retinue of talented riders, the likes of Nicky Hayden, Dani Pedrosa, Andrea Dovizioso, Casey Stoner and Marc Marquez all donning Repsol orange. Unlike their prodigies the livery had largely calcified into a fixed form, which saw no substantial changes in appearance aside from a scant few special livery runs. Iconic or not? Certainly for some it is not a sight for sore eyes.

Top to bottom, left to right: Nicky Hayden 2007, Dani Pedrosa 2008, Casey Stoner 2011, Andrea Dovizioso 2011, Marc Marquez 2019

Bonus: Mom I’m a star! Dani Pedrosa and Casey Stoner share the podium, Aragón 2011

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Sources: On Honda // On Repsol (1) // On Repsol (2)

[sonderwrit]

I Have to Be a Great Villain - Translation Masterpost (ongoing)

Disclaimer: These are casual translation by yours truly, an amateur translator, so take them with a grain of salt. I thought the scanlations were getting too MTL quality (no offense meant!) so I started reading the raws and translating them on my own starting with C89 (near the end of World 2/Apocalypse arc). Putting them here for archive purposes in case anyone wants to read them, lol. Picture is latest banner promo image on the manhua site yay, Wang Yi looks so villainous~

Table of Contents (C89 onwards)

World 2 - Zombie Apocalypse Arc C89: Farewell C90: See you next life World 3 - Crazy Scientist Arc C91: Dr. Wang pretends to be a pyscho C92: Slime! C93: It burrowed into the brain C94: Obsession C95: You knew after opening your eyes C96: Transformation C97: Eat! C98: Familiar face C99: Why C100: Danger C101: Memory C102: I don't understand C103: Date C104: Don't want to let go C105: Harem C106: Wanna try it? C107: Critical juncture C108: Overboard! C109: Mission accomplished? C110: We have to...be together World 4 - Cultivation Arc C111: He'd probably beat me up C112: There's a kitty! C113: Deja vu C114: Somewhat familiar C115: Picture book C116: Rest C117: BUG C118: Heaven's will is merciless? C119: Uncontrollable C120: This is enough C121: Sincerely C122: Protracted battle (posted 4/9/2024)* *Thanks to the slowdown in CN update schedule ENG translations are more or less caught to current release, so imma stop this project for now lol (it was for fun anyways) C123: Just you wait, Master C124: This person is not simple C125: Inner demon C126: Safeguard C127: Why did he come? C128: You misunderstood C129: Of course I'm complying C130: Hunger