#fanfic exist for a reason
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I hope OBX 4 will be a lesson for nowadays fans that no, you don't always get what you want on screen.
#no#not even if you bully the writers directors and shit into it#fanfic exist for a reason#and thats okay#outer banks#obx#outer banks 4#obx 4#obx season 4#obx netflix#netflix#netflix series#obx 4 part 2#fandom discourse#unpopular take#and this is coming from someone who shipped Zutara#and Warren x Layla#since 2005#you have to learn
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clumsy
pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
word count: 9,1k
summary: sebastian is clumsy
cw: fluff, mutual pining, idiots in love, two really stubborn idiots in love to be exact, sir cadogan guest appearance, anne and imelda are the gremlin best friends every girl needs, smut (18+ ONLY), oral (f. recieving)
a/n: or: two stubborn brats make things more difficult than they have to be. I've been working on this for a MONTH more or less, ever since I drew the sketch that inspired it𫶠(I'm the world's slowest writer)
The first time Sebastian Sallow interacted with her after the fateful events of their fifth year, he fell for her.
Quite literally.
Maybe fell on her is more aptly put - Sebastian Sallow is not one to mince his words or say what he doesn't mean, after all. But, in the years to come, he always insists that he fell in love in that moment.
It was inexplicable. One moment, he was walking around, perfectly content with his loveless, boring life, and the next, his every waking moment was painful. Nobody had ever told Sebastian that being in love would physically pain or consume him so.
It all started like this: one moment, he's walking (well, striding) to Crossed Wands. Fine, he's running. Running late already, for the first meet-up of his last year. But - he isn't to blame for being late. He needed to check on something in the library - during his Transfiguration lesson, he had a hunch about something Professor Weasley had said in passing, and of course he had to go and check to see if he was right before he could even think about besting Leander in the inaugural duel of the Crossed Wands season but now, with how late he is - how many minutes ago had it started? - oh, Merlin, it's already been ten whole minutes and what if they've started without him (not that he can blame them) and -
Sebastian is abruptly pulled out of his thoughts when he collides with a strange obstruction in his way. He was just checking his father's old pocket watch, had only looked away for a split second and he could have sworn that, unless he was mistaken (which he never is), there wasn't a statue in the middle of the suspension bridge. And yet, he has run headfirst into something or someone, and now they are both flying through the air, books whirling around them in a flurry of pages and Sebastian unconsciously puts his arms out to grab her before they hit the ground and now he's holding her tight against him and they land with a loud, ungraceful thud, but at least she's not hurt.
Sebastian shakes his head to clear it after the impact that - miraculously - doesn't seem to have been as bad as it could have been, all things considered, and -
He freezes.
What has he done?
He's pressed up against the most impossibly lovely person he has ever seen quite possibly in his life, holding her tightly in his arms as she glares up at him in indignation, a faint flush spreading across her cheeks, making her face glow. Is this what the muggles mean when they say that they were struck by Cupid's arrow? Her hands scrabble uselessly at his chest as she tries to extricate herself from his grip. It's useless. Sebastian is completely frozen in place as he stares down at her, and he can feel his own face heating up at his inability to get off her. What's wrong with him?
"Sebastian," she repeats, and this time her voice registers in his brain. He realizes she has been talking to him this whole time, and as he stares at her face without comprehending - he couldn't have a coherent thought right now even if he wanted to - he sees her eyes dart quickly down, looking at where their bodies meet before she brings them back to his face, a deeper blush coming over her. "You -"
Oh, Merlin. It's her. He blinks and it's like the fog has cleared from his mind - almost, but-not-quite - and he realizes who he has unceremoniously crashed to the ground with him. The spines of the textbooks they are lying on top of dig into the arm that's pinned under her body and his other hand...he realizes (to his almost-horror) that to any students or professors walking by, it would seem as if they were caught up in quite the scandalous extra-curricular activity because his other hand is actively caressing her breast. Well, that's how it would look to any passerby, anyways.
Because there is no way he would be caught dead in such a compromising position with her.
The two of them haven't spoken since the events of their fifth year - the Year-That-Shall-Not-Be-Remembered-or-Acknowledged - and he had been perfectly content with his plan to continue this strange sort of ignoring that they had played all last year. Both of them pretending that they hadn't become impossibly close after only knowing each other for a few months - a closeness that he had gone and ruined by not knowing when to quit. All he had known to do back then was push push push because why couldn't she see things the way he had? The betrayal he had felt when she had gone behind his back to find her own way to cure his sister, and that one stupid word uttered in the heat of the moment, had caused an irreparable rift in their relationship and he would not allow himself to think about how much he missed her. Still misses her.
Just like he will not think about the fact that she is pressed beneath him in a compromising position, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she glares up at him in indignation. He continues to stare at her. Maybe his mouth is agape. She's stopped trying to get out of his grip and is resting her hands on his chest, seemingly waiting for an opportunity to push him off of her.
"Sebastian. Your hand," she repeats. "You're -"
Finally his idiot brain decides to wake up and Sebastian realizes with horror just how aroused he is at the moment and how did he never see her like this before? He gets up in a flash, pushing her back against the pile of books they're lying on top of, wondering if he can subtly adjust his robes without her realizing and then he makes the very grave mistake of looking down at her and she's still very much red-faced, propping herself up by her elbows and she looks so disheveled and lovely lying on top of the pile of books.
His idiot brain has now woken up completely, and how is it possible for one hormonal, eighteen-year-old wizard to be so embarrassed? He knocked her to the ground, pushed her further back in the books in his desperate attempt to get away from her, and now all he can think about is how to hide his arousal. Shameful, really. Sebastian quickly crouches down to help her pick up all of the books but she shoves him away and glares at him with an annoyance that he's never seen before.
"I can do it myself, thank you very much," she says with a huff, gathering everything they spilled up into her arms. She grabs the book Sebastian is holding out of his hands and he inhales sharply at the touch of her fingers grazing his.
Did someone - Garreth, maybe - spike his pumpkin juice with Amortentia during lunch? It's the only explanation he can think of as he stares blankly down at her. How else would he find her so beautiful, so breathtaking, when the last time they had interacted, Ominis and Anne had had to act as intermediaries for the two of them?
"Well," she says finally, slinging her school bag over her shoulder once all of her books have been unceremoniously shoved inside of it, "it's been...nice seeing you again, Sallow. I hope you had a good summer holiday."
And with that, she quickly turns and walks away in the direction she had been coming from, leaving a very confused Sebastian behind. He watches her as she walks away and her long, swishing braid is the last thing he sees before the door closes behind her at the far end of the bridge.
Eventually, he gathers his wits and wanders away.
He does not go to the first Crossed Wands meeting that afternoon after all.
She has not had a full-night's sleep since he somehow cursed her mind and her thoughts a week ago, and she can feel herself slowly slipping into insanity. A curse is the only answer that makes sense, the only thing that gives a conceivable answer to all the wicked dreams she has been having since that moment, dreams that cause her to wake up sweaty and breathless and needing him in the middle of the night in a way she has never felt before. She has been an absolute mess, a disastrous version of her normally quite put-together self, and she is not happy about it.
He's sitting next to her now - they were partnered up by the evil Professor Onai in their first NEWT Divination class of the year - and she's holding herself rigidly, arms tight across her chest, in an attempt to not accidentally touch him. Lately, every single time they make fleeting eye contact across the table during breakfast, or when they pass each other in the hallways, a shiver runs down her spine at the unfamiliar look in his eyes and she has to avert her eyes before it's too much.
Divination has never been a favorite subject of hers - too impermeable for her tastes. She is only taking it at the NEWT level because, during her career counseling with Professor Ronen at the end of her fifth year, he had said that if she wanted to be an Unspeakable she couldn't just work with logic (a preposterous thought, but as a sixteen-year-old she hadn't seen any recourse in arguing with the Ministry's requirements). She supposedly needs to get comfortable with the intangible as well. It doesn't mean she has to enjoy it, though: she doesn't, and never will. The Divination classroom is dark and stuffy, tucked away in one of the highest towers of the castle, and the nauseating smell of incense always coats her nasal cavities long after the class has finished. She finds her thoughts getting muddled in the haze of candle smoke and swirling orbs on the shelves around her - magic somehow always feels thicker up here - and the presence of a certain someone whose knees keep brushing hers under the tiny table they're sharing, a certain someone who has - improbably, inconceivably, impossibly - hit a growth spurt that summer and now towers over her and had encompassed her completely when he knocked her to the ground, isn't helping her concentration at -
"This week, we are going to review everything we learned together last year," Professor Onai says, after the class had rearranged itself based on her instructions. Sebastian shoots a look at her as she shakes her head in an attempt to clear it and sits up straighter. She hopes that Onai's lecture will help her concentrate and clear her mind a bit. If she has something to focus on, to try and think of and remember, it will be better than him. Anything would be better than Sebastian. Onai gives an appraising look to each table before continuing her speech. "As your NEWTs are at the end of the year, we need to make sure you are as prepared as possible. Open your books to page two-hundred and thirty. Today we're going to review the art of palmistry. I should hope that you do not need the aid of your textbook to help interpret the lines in your partner's palm but in the case that you do -"
She chances a glance at Sebastian before getting out her copy of Divining the Undivinable from her bag and wishes she hadn't. He looks uncomfortably big sitting on the tiny tea chair across from her, barely any hints of the boy who had completely swept her away two years ago visible on the sharper planes of his face. When had he - had they - grown up?
Sebastian Sallow was - is - charming, and that had been her downfall. She had successfully avoided his charms the year before, and she wasn't going to let that happen this year, no matter how much her body rebelled against her mind and resolve. Because, as she reminds herself, Sebastian Sallow is also manipulative, and cold-hearted, and selfish.
"Well," she says archly, opening her book. She will not look at him. "I suppose I am still quite ignorant of the practice of Divination, so do forgive me if I have to double-check my readings in the textbook."
He says her name as she opens the book, and she ignores him. He says her name again. She continues to ignore him. He grabs the book from her hands and puts it the correct way for her. She was looking at it upside-down. Her cheeks heat up and she continues flipping through the pages, as if nothing has happened. She finds page two-hundred and thirty. She pretends to be interested in what she sees.
(Divination is unfortunately not interesting.)
Oh, fine.
"Do you want to start, or should I?"
These are the first words she has voluntarily spoken to him - not including the events of last week, which do not count as they were most decidedly not voluntary - since he called her ignorant a year and a half ago. He somehow looks surprised to see that she has addressed him, and for some reason this fills her with rage and a strange sort of confidence. Why shouldn't she be able to talk to him?
"Here," she says, putting her hand out towards him, palm up, ignoring the strange fluttering feeling in her chest when he gently grabs it with one of his. Sebastian looks up at her, waiting for her to continue speaking, and were she not looking at him so intently she would have easily missed the bob of his throat as he swallows nervously. "Show me how it's done."
Her breath catches in her throat at the small, mischievous smirk he shoots to her before he bends over her hand and gently starts tracing the lines on her palm with the fingers of the hand that's not holding hers in place. His touch is feather-light and somehow soft, despite the roughness of his fingers as they drag over her palm. Every nerve in her body seems to have moved to wherever he touches and all of the bravado and anger she had just felt is quickly melting away. When she finally finds her voice, she hates how soft and breathy it sounds. She can't look away from the sight of his larger hands caressing hers.
"Well? What do you see? Do you remember the different lines? Because I -"
She falters. The murmurs of their classmates blend together in the background and the dim lights of the candles...the hazy, thick atmosphere and his proximity and the barely there touches of his rough fingertips on her sensitive palm are altogether too overwhelming and she needs to get out of there. She's supposed to be angry with him. Furious, even. Holding this grudge has been the only way she has been able to have any sort of power over him this past year, and yet...all she can think about at the moment are the sinful dreams she's been having lately where he presses her against a wall, desperately kissing her lips, her neck - even she knows that there has to be more to it - but what?
Sebastian blinks as she snatches her hand away like it's been burned and - oh, Merlin - she shoves the textbook back into her schoolbag and almost knocks the candle on the table over and wouldn't it be awful if she had started a fire? But she can't think about any of that now in her haste to just get out of the claustrophobic Divination tower.
Vaguely, she can hear Professor Onai asking her if everything is fine and she's not sure but she thinks she mumbles something about needing to go to the Hospital Wing - that's a good enough excuse to leave, isn't it? - but then she hears his voice, deep and cutting through the fog in her mind -
"Don't worry, I'll take her and make sure she gets there fine." A muffled response from their professor and then his voice, just as clear as before. "No, I don't know what happened..."
She hears him calling her name as she flees down the spiral staircase, almost tripping over her feet in her rush to get away from him, but he catches up quickly, reaching out to grab her arm in an attempt to slow her down. She stops running immediately - she supposes her traitorous body wants to see what he has to say, or maybe it just wants to bask in his intoxicating proximity. He crowds her space, and she sees that unfamiliar look in his eyes again. So very different from the cold disdain she had seen the last time she had been this close to him, during the argument that had ended their friendship.
"Let go of me," she whispers, but there's no conviction in her voice as she gazes into his deep, brown eyes. He can tell she doesn't mean it and doesn't make any move to listen to her. Why can't she hold on to the rage? A muggle quote about anger floats through her mind: Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. What a sweet poison her anger at Sebastian had been, while it lasted. She tries telling herself that he must still feel the same as the evening he had called her ignorant (ignoring the small voice in her head that reminded her of the letters of apology he had sent (that she had burned without reading), the times he had tried to get Anne or Ominis involved and apologize for him) - because why couldn't he just tell her himself? Maybe she had shut down any and all attempts he had made to repair the rift that he had caused in the first place, but she had been right to be so angry with him.
But oh, Merlin, he's getting closer to her, and she can now clearly see the freckles dusting his cheeks and nose and forehead and then before she knows it, his hand is sliding up her arm, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touches and then he's caressing her jaw with his rough thumb and he pauses. Her eyelids flutter closed as her head tilts towards him - she couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to (what does she want?). She can feel his warm breath ghosting over her lips and she has the improbable, ridiculous thought - how is he remembering to breathe? - before he speaks. His lips brush against hers with every soft word and a deep shiver runs through her body.
"I," she hears him say, his voice so, so low, "haven't been able to think since last week."
That's all she needs to hear, the brush of his bottom lip against hers all she needs to feel, to push her into closing what minuscule distance there is between them and then his lips are on hers and it's better than anything she's been imagining. His mouth is soft against hers, insistent, and her hands go up to grip the collar of his plaid jacket to make sure he doesn't go away or disappear on her.
She knows she's behaving wantonly, snogging Sebastian Sallow in the middle of the hallway where anyone could come across them, but third period has only just started and besides, she has had a week of restless nights being tortured by thoughts of him. A week of a few hours of sleep found here and there. Just one kiss should be enough to help her get over these strange feelings, right? She only feels like this because having him lie on top of her after he crashed into her - that satisfying weight of him - the friction of his thumb brushing against her nipple - had made her realize just how stupid she had been, holding this grudge against him for -
She whimpers in protest but it quickly turns into a moan as his mouth moves away from hers and down to her neck. He pulls at her tight collar desperately - she hears some seams ripping - to give him better access to it, and she finds herself arching her back and pushing her body closer to his as he nuzzles her neck with his nose before giving it open, sloppy kisses. When he hears her, he moves back to kissing her, greedily capturing every breathy moan that comes out of her mouth, but the noises coming from him are matching hers, and at the sound she feels an unfamiliar clenching deep in her stomach. Her fingers come up to his hair, going through the silky curls over and over - how are they as soft as his lips? - and he slowly pushes her back until she's sandwiched between his warm body and the cold stone of the wall behind her.
He lets out a low, frantic growl as a hand goes to grip the back of her head, holding her in place as he slants his mouth over hers. He tastes like cinnamon and...like something forbidden. What has gotten into her? She hates him, and yet...
They have abandoned any pretense of propriety - had they ever even been trying? - by this point. His tongue swipes across her lips and then she is completely lost to him, to every sensation of his mouth, and tongue, on hers. His large hands - the wicked hands that had been caressing her palm and had caused this whole mess in the first place - have moved to her waist and are pulling her even closer to him. When he pulls away briefly, she whines in protest, opening her eyes to glare at him. The sight of him, flushed and breathless, his eyes wide and pupils dilated - must match her own appearance because she sees the same hunger she feels in his eyes. She has never seen Sebastian Sallow so disheveled, but she finds she quite likes it and tugs on his curls with a whine. He obliges eagerly, bringing his mouth back to hers.
She's pressed as tightly against him as she can possibly be, and yet it still isn't enough. Her back arches once again, trying to find something, and then he slots one of his knees between her legs. She moans at the friction caused by his movements, can feel an unfamiliar slickness forming at the juncture between her legs, and this seems to spur him on further as his kisses get more desperate and sloppy. She moves against his leg, trying to relieve some of her discomfort, gasping into his mouth, when -
They freeze. Even if they are fully, completely, absorbed by...whatever this is, they can't ignore the strange, metallic clanking sound coming from their left. Sebastian pulls his head back from her slowly, reluctantly, breathing heavily, and looks over to see what the noise is. She wants to, but all of a sudden the horrifying reality of what they've been doing sinks in and oh god what if the noise is a person? Someone who has now seen her in what might possibly be the most mortifying moment of her life - desperately snogging Sebastian Sallow - and she finds she can't look over. She tucks her head into his neck to hide her face as she listens.
"I demand that you get away from her at once, you knave! Cease your attack!"
The voice sounds vaguely familiar, but she's certain that it doesn't belong to any of her classmates. He almost sounds...medieval, but -
"I made haste when I heard sounds of distress coming from down the hallway," the voice continues, "and it appears I have arrived not a moment too soon!"
She brings her head away from Sebastian's shoulder but still refuses to look over at whoever is speaking, instead choosing to stare at Sebastian's face. He's still deliciously flushed from their snogging, still breathing heavily, but now he looks terribly confused. His brows are furrowed, mouth opening and closing as he tries to come up with a response to the outrage currently being directed at him.
The unknown man is continuing his diatribe, almost not even stopping to breathe as he gets more and more worked up, and she hears some more clanking as he reaches a particularly exciting moment in his rant. Sebastian looks increasingly confused, but still shields her with his body, not moving away from her at all despite the accusations.
Her curiosity gets the better of her and she peeks over to see who it is.
The man who has been reprimanding Sebastian so boldly is none other than Sir Cadogan. Although she's never interacted with him directly, she often hears him yelling at his pony as she passes his portrait on her way to Divination. The knight is standing between two witches having tea, who are glaring at him quite angrily as he gesticulates wildly - every movement of his sword comes dangerously close to their display of cakes and sandwiches and it looks like he has already broken some plates. His armor is ill-fitting and loose on him, which explains the terrible noise.
"You rascally knave! I assure you that you do not want to find out what will happen to you if you do not unhand the fair maiden."
He brandishes his sword again, and the woman closest to him quickly snatches her tea cup away to save it from being broken as well. "Come now, Sir Cadogan," she says, exasperated. "Can't you see that these two are in love?"
The other woman joins her protests, nodding vigorously. "Yes, exactly that. Leave them be!"
"Nonsense," he exclaims. "I too have succumbed to my baser instincts on occasion and I can assure you that this is decidedly not what is occurring."
As Sir Cadogan continues to alternate between lecturing her and Sebastian, and directing his two attention to the ladies who are defending them, she looks back to the boy in question. Sebastian is looking down at her, a bemused smile on his lips and she feels a twinge in her chest. His face is still so close to hers that if she wants to, they could be snogging again with barely any effort and her eyes briefly flicker down to his tempting mouth before going back to his eyes, but...
What had gotten into her? What is she doing?
He had somehow managed to manipulate her again, because there is no way that this situation could have happened otherwise. All of a sudden, the anger she's been feeling for the past year and a half - that had left for a brief, blissful moment - surges again, and she pushes Sebastian away from her with as much force as she can muster. She almost feels bad as the happiness in his face turns to confusion, then frustration as he realizes she's getting away from him.
"Stay away from me," she hisses, picking up her discarded schoolbag from its spot on the ground. As she stalks down the hall, she can hear Sir Cadogan cheering on her bravery over the ringing in her ears.
She has a lot of thinking to do.
Sebastian Sallow's List of Priorities (in no particular order):
Figure out what the hell I'm going to do when I graduate;
Figure out how the hell I'm going to finish this bloody Charms essay before tomorrow; and
Figure out what the hell is going on between us
Sebastian sits in an undisturbed corner of the library - nobody ever comes to this table because it's tucked away between shelves of incredibly dense magical theory books - and is twirling his quill in his fingers, watching the ink splatter on the list he spent his precious time writing instead of the Charms essay he should be working on. He's far away from the first-years who like to congregate by the windows and watch the leaves fall softly to the ground rather than study for their classes. He's made especially sure that he is far, far away from her.
It's not his choice, mind you, but he needs to be a gentleman about these things. If she needs some time and space to figure out that she's as crazy for him as he is her, fine. But even Sebastian Sallow's patience runs thin, and he's not sure how much longer he can give her to come to her senses before he snaps and takes matters into his own hands. If things were up to him, the two of them would be sitting far too close together now in this secluded corner, and maybe he would need to put a hand over her mouth to ensure her complete silence as he runs a hand up her thigh.
Now that he knows what delicious sounds can come out of her mouth - sounds that he caused - he's been having a hard time concentrating on, well, anything. Sebastian surreptitiously glances across the library to where she's sitting and studying with his sister and Imelda. Ever since the events after their Divination class, Sir Cadogan has taken it upon himself to follow Sebastian around the halls of the castle, tripping through frames and disrupting their inhabitants as he lectures Sebastian on love. The tea party women had managed to convince the knight that he had disrupted an amorous exchange, and Sebastian fervently wishes they hadn't.
The whole school is abuzz with rumors about who it could be. Nobody has even come close so far with their guesses, but Anne and Imelda are having too much fun teasing him about it. Somehow, she has managed to avoid suspicion - he wonders how this is even possible, since she's never been able to hide what she's thinking. He makes eye contact with her - has she been staring at him this whole time? - and she flushes before looking over to Imelda, who's laughing too loudly at something Anne's just said. Sebastian can't tear his eyes away from her profile, his eyes following the curve of her eyebrow, the slight upturn of her lips as she smiles at her friends, her eyes as they dart back to him, her cheeks as she turns an even darker shade of red as she realizes he's still watching her. She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, and rests her chin on her hand as she tries to look absorbed in what Anne is saying to her.
Sebastian wonders if she's thought about him as much as he's thought about her. Judging by how she had snogged him back, he's positive that she feels the same way, but then he remembers how she had looked at him before she fled, and he's not so sure. He sighs as he looks back to his list, bringing his quill back to the third item and ripping the paper as he crosses it out again. His mind has been going in circles since that moment and he doesn't know what to think. He slowly puts everything into his schoolbag before heading out of the library for yet another freezing cold shower that hopefully tempers his now-permanent state of arousal whenever she's around.
He doesn't notice her eyes following him as he walks out of the library.
He doesn't hear her hurried excuse to Anne and Imelda as she shoves her things into her bag and rushes to follow him.
He doesn't hear her light footsteps as she gets closer to him.
When she puts a hand out to touch his arm as he waits for the moving staircase to stop, with a soft, "Sebastian" accompanying it, he nearly jumps out of his skin. He was so absorbed with thoughts of her, that to see her standing at his side, closer than she had been since they kissed was almost his snapping point.
"Can we talk?" she asks, looking almost embarrassed as she avoids his eyes. She instead looks determinedly at his collar. He thinks she probably notices that he swallows nervously before acquiescing, but she says nothing as she turns and starts hurrying away from him without waiting to see if he follows her.
She must know that he would follow her anywhere at this point.
They weave through hallways - Sebastian vaguely wonders where exactly they're going - before reaching a little alcove, hidden by a suit of armor. She looks around before pulling him into it. It's almost curfew and the halls are never that busy when the weather is as beautiful as it has been these days - the end of September seems to be clinging on to the summer for as long as possible.
Her lips are on his before he can even ask her what she needed to talk with him about, hungry and desperate. Sebastian is too stunned to pull away - not that he would actually want to. Her arms wrap around his neck, keeping Sebastian close, slender fingers sliding through his hair.
"What," she says breathlessly between kisses - almost not even moving her mouth away from his enough to be able to enunciate properly, "are you doing to me? I haven't been able to think for the last month."
Sebastian smiles into her mouth, wondering if she knows that she's repeating the very thing he told her two weeks ago. Maybe she has been thinking of him all this time - he almost hopes that she's been suffering as much as he has. Instead of responding, he moves a hand to cup her jaw, deepening the kiss. His other hand moves to her waist, gripping it tightly, pulling her flush against his body and she gasps into his mouth. He slowly moves her closer to the window alcove behind them, snogging her senseless the whole time. She moans into his mouth which just spurs him on further - her skirt rides up to her hips as Sebastian trails a hand up her stockinged thigh and they both gasp when his hand reaches skin. Her skin is so, so soft and her breathing gets faster as he continues to caress her inner thigh, closer to the bend between her thigh and her center. Sebastian wonders if she's ever been touched there before by someone else and jealousy flares up inside of him at the thought.
In one swift move, he scoops her up and places her so that she's sitting on the window-ledge, the dusky light of the sunset illuminating her from behind and making her wispy flyaway hairs a golden halo around her. Sebastian's breath catches in his throat - has he ever seen anything so beautiful as her in that moment? - she's staring up at him, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, her breathing shallow and anticipation in her eyes. "You're," he starts saying and his throat goes dry. He brings a hand up to tuck the errant lock of hair - the one she had tucked earlier in the library - behind her ear and she leans her head into his touch, closing her eyes briefly before looking up at him again with wide eyes. "You're perfect."
She smiles faintly and pulls his head back down towards hers and now she's brushing her lips against his, teasing him, before it's too much and he grips the back of her head, holding her in place as he crushes his mouth against hers in a bruising kiss. Her knees are on either side of his waist, and she desperately grinds her core against his throbbing erection and they both groan at the friction. Sebastian moves his hands down to her thighs again as he kisses her, slowly caressing his way up and pushing her skirt up further until it's completely bunched around her waist. She gasps into his mouth at his first tentative touch after he pushes aside her undergarments. Sebastian swipes a finger up her slit, through the slick that coats it, and then he starts circling her clit with slow, even strokes. She shivers against him - at his touch - clinging tightly to his shoulders and gasping into his mouth as he continues.
Every little noise coming out of her mouth, feeling how wet she is, how the slickness keeps growing growing growing makes Sebastian hungry for more - it isn't enough -
Slowly - so slowly - he wants to savor this moment - he lowers himself until he's kneeling between her legs and he looks up at her. Her face is deliciously flushed, all swollen lips and hair in a wild cloud around her face and all she can do is stare down at him. Her chest is heaving and she tries to close her legs - hide what is exposed to him - but he holds her thighs firmly in place on either side of his head. He turns his head and kisses her inner thigh, maintaining eye contact as he swipes his tongue across where he's just kissed, moving closer towards her slick center.
"Oh," she breathes, not-quite-a-word, not-quite-a-gasp, when his mouth reaches her center and hovers over it, lips slowly teasing her the way she had just teased him. Sebastian tentatively runs his tongue up her slit; the loud moan she lets out when he reaches her clit makes him stay there, applying light and not-so-light pressure in equal measure.
Her hands are scrabbling at his hair, digging into his scalp, ruining his earlier attempts to make it look presentable, hopefully attractive, for her these days. She's pushing his head deeper into the space between her legs, starting to rock herself slightly on his mouth, and Sebastian is happy to oblige. He eagerly laps up her slit, and the obscene wet noises as he continues combined with her whimpers and barely-spoken profanities "oh-yes-fuck-yes-there-please-" are making him hard beyond belief. He's straining against his trousers, begging to be let free. Without moving his face from her, he unbuttons his trousers and starts palming himself, using the slickness weeping out of the tip as lubrication.
She's abandoned all control at this point, grinding herself into his face as he laps her up, and it's driving him wild - knowing that he's doing this to her - causing her to be so undone. Normally she's so poised and aloof, never letting any real emotion flicker across her face, so to see her so desperate and needy and wanting him so -
Sebastian's gasping into her, tongue deep inside of her, "ohmygod" he hears her whisper, her hips driving into his face when she shudders and goes still, pulsing around the tongue that's deep inside of it. He slows down, smiling as he continues to run his tongue up her slit until she's responsive again. He kisses her inner thigh and hears her moan before getting up, caressing a finger down her love-struck face and leaning his head down to kiss her deeply. With his other hand he's still touching himself - the thought that she can taste herself on his tongue driving him crazy - and he starts rubbing its blunt head against her swollen clit. She takes it out of his hand- he groans at the feeling of her soft hands (the hands he had held a week ago in Divination and pictured doing this exact thing) tentatively caressing his length before she begins to slide it up and down her slit, coating it in her wetness.
Sebastian has surrendered all control to her - resting his hands on either side of her hips on the windowsill, tucking his head into the crook of her neck and thrusting with her movements as he loses himself in the sensation of sliding through her slick folds. He can feel his release building building building, and when he finally comes, all over her perfect, pink center, it feels like a finally.
Sebastian feels so, so heavy as he pulls his head away from her shoulder, as if he could fall into a blissful sleep right there, in the little window alcove where they've hidden themselves away. The sun has now set completely and they're in shadow as they stare at each other, the sound of their ragged breathing filling the tiny space.
"Sebastian, I..."
She's staring at him with an unfathomable expression on her face, still holding him in her hand, her other hand playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. They look down and he feels his face heat up even more at the mess he's made - he quickly pulls out his wand and cleans her up, before looking back at her, giving her a wry smile as he buttons up his pants and helps her off the ledge. "What did you want to talk to me about, again?"
She gives a slight shake of her head and looks away, but she can't hide the small smile that's growing on her face just like she can't help her eyes that keep wandering over to his. He knows the growing smile on his face matches hers - did that really just happen? She reaches over to lace her fingers through his as they walk around the suit of armor. "I - it's not important."
"Come on," he says, not being able to resist the opportunity to tease her - he's somehow managed to break through the barriers she's set up around her, and he's not about to let the opportunity slide. "Surely that's not what you had in mind when you..."
Sebastian trails off as he sees the expression in her face turn to one of horror - he didn't think his teasing was that bad, was it? - but she's also pulling her hand out of his like she's been burned and -
He follows her gaze, to where it's fixed at the end of the hallway and he knows that once again his face mimics hers. He will never live this down.
Standing at the end of the hallway and looking like two cats who've just found a huge dish of milk, are his sister and Imelda.
Misery.
Complete and utter misery are what she's feeling, if she has to put it into words, which she does. Writing things down always helps her out, helps her organize her thoughts into some sort of order. Except...this time around, it's not really helping. She can't seem to make any sense of her feelings for Sebastian.
She looks over the muddled mess of words she's written down - stream of consciousness, incomprehensible babble - and sighs. She's been dreaming of falling in love since she was a young girl - Jane Austen will do that to you - and can't believe that now that she's had her opportunity, it has to go and be with Sebastian Sallow. Because it has to be love, hasn't it?
There can be no other explanation for the painful way her stomach twists itself up whenever she catches a glimpse of him these days, the way he's consuming her every thought - even when she's dreaming she can't escape him. She can't get the sight of his tousled curls between her legs, his mischievous, warm brown eyes looking up at her as she had the most mind-numbing, toe-curling orgasm of her life - none of the times she's touched herself have ever come close to the sensations he managed to evoke.
Every time she's walking through the hallways between classes and hears his loud voice as he jokes with Garreth, or Ominis, about quidditch or Merlin-knows-what her eyes snap to his face as if he were the sun, and she a sunflower searching for its warmth. And he is most decidedly not the sun. He has the tendency to snort when he laughs, and he laughs too much, especially at his own jokes. Sometimes he talks while he eats. He always twirls his quill between his long fingers in the most annoying way, splattering ink onto any parchment unfortunate to be caught underneath. But he also...
He also always goes out of his way to prepare Ominis's Potions ingredients (why Ominis decided to take and was accepted into NEWT level is a mystery to everyone), occasionally stops to play a round of gobstones with Zenobia when he has the time. Sebastian can often be found in his favorite armchair in the Slytherin common room, resting his face on his hand as he idly flips through the pages of some book, looking altogether too handsome as he does so. And when he stretches and yawns at the end of every Arithmancy lesson - like he is now - his shirt lifts up a bit and she can see a tan sliver of his stomach and -
Snapping in front of her: she blinks and looks over: when she sees it's Imelda her face immediately turns beet red and she grabs the paper she's been doodling on and rips it to shreds as fast as she can.
"Are you fantasizing about a certain annoying someone?" Imelda asks with a wicked grin, dramatically looking over her shoulder at the certain someone in question. He's still stretching, blinking sleepily; when he notices the two girls watching him he flushes deeply. Her stomach twinges again at the sight of him noticing her - has he thought about her since that moment as much as she has? What would she do if he had? Or...if he hadn't? - and she focuses instead on the paper she is currently destroying.
"Imelda," she hisses, glaring at her best friend, "stop."
Imelda does not stop.
Imelda doesn't stop during their walk to Herbology, and she does not stop as they set up their planting stations, and she most certainly does not stop as they mutter charms over their plants.
Ever since she experienced the most wonderful moment in her whole life, followed by the most mortifying, Anne and Imelda have not stopped pestering her about it. They've finally solved the 'Sir Cadogan Puzzle' - I knew it was you all along, claims Anne - but if they truly knew what had happened between her and Sebastian, she's afraid the two of them would simply combust. She loves them dearly, but they never know when to stop, and they've been pushing and poking and prodding her for more information the whole week. She has managed to remain tight-lipped and, she hopes, mysterious about the whole thing, but she's getting tired of the teasing.
"Really," Anne says, wiping her forehead and leaving a trail of dirt behind, "if you would only talk to him, I would stop bothering you. Promise."
"Yes," chimes in Imelda, on her other side, wrestling the leaves of her own plant into submission. "You know, after we saw the two of you holding hands and looking at each other with stars in your eyes, I'm really starting to doubt that you hate him as much as you claim."
"Were the two of you snogging in secret all of last year too? Because, I'm starting to get annoyed thinking of all the times I had to talk to my brother for you because of your stubborn pride."
Does she still hate him? She certainly thinks she should, but then her thoughts get terribly confusing as she continues to think about him, and she realizes all of her old hatred has long since faded. Anne has forgiven her brother, Ominis has forgiven him, and all that remains is her.
They should talk, but she doesn't know what to say.
She's afraid that maybe the man she's been inventing in her mind this past month is simply a figment of her imagination - a fictitious being created by an accumulation of stolen glances when he doesn't know she's watching, someone who all of their classmates seem to like, someone who is very different from the fifteen-year-old boy she had that terrible argument with all that time ago. Maybe he doesn't actually exist.
She would be crushed if he's hiding the fact that he still holds on to that desperate darkness that had driven him to save Anne by any means necessary.
And so she keeps her space. She watches him from afar, feeling the hatred slowly melt off of her, falling more in love every day, but too cowardly to make the next move.
Anne and Imelda continue bantering on either side of her, not noticing - or, more likely, not caring - that she isn't participating.
Sebastian's hands are sweating. He wipes them on the inside of his robes as he glances at the girl next to him. She's holding herself rigidly, but she did this to herself, sitting next to him at dinner as she had.
Well, sitting next to him hadn't been completely her idea if he's being honest. He'd been having dinner with Anne, and the two of them were dying of laughter as she recounted seeing Duncan Hobhouse get tormented by Peeves earlier that day. One moment, Anne had been demonstrating what she had seen using her potatoes and green beans as props, and the next, a particularly evil grin had lit up her face as she pushed her plate away with gusto and jumped to her feet, calling her over.
"It would be such a shame for these potatoes to go to waste, seeing as I have a very important meeting to attend," Anne had said, after pushing her friend into the very tight space at Sebastian's side. "Never mind the mess, I can assure you I didn't actually eat the food..."
And with that, Anne had flounced away, Imelda on her arm, the two girls cackling to each other as they snuck wicked glances over their shoulders at the couple.
A couple who is now steadfastly avoiding each other and trying their hardest not to even brush elbows. Sebastian is altogether too aware of her presence, has been for the better part of a month, and his patience is dangerously close to snapping. He keeps getting maddeningly close to finally getting her to open up to him - had actually achieved it for a few blissful moments - just to have it be taken away again. It's almost embarrassing how many times he's thought about their encounter. She had been everything he'd been dreaming about and more - soft, responsive, just as desperate as him - so why has she been avoiding him so thoroughly?
Yes, he's caught her staring at him more times than he can count, with that same unfathomable expression she had before, almost dreamy - wistful - could it be love? But he knows that it's preposterous, wishful thinking on his part. If it were love - if she felt the same crazy, tumultuous emotions that he was feeling constantly - she wouldn't be so cold towards him. Even if she was staring at him more than ever before.
He doesn't notice as she slips a folded paper into the book sitting next to his plate, but he does notice that she sits next to him for barely five minutes, not even touching the food that Anne has so graciously left her, before she gets up and slips away without so much as speaking a single word to him, or even looking in his direction at all.
Sebastian's sitting in a nearly empty common room after curfew, flipping through his book as he normally does this time of day, when she sees him pause.
Although she's been waiting for this moment, watching him from the corner she's tucked herself away in, she feels ready to pass out from nerves. Her heart's ready to burst out of her chest as she watches him curiously pick up the letter she slipped in his book earlier, brow furrowed. She wrings her hands nervously as she watches him read the letter and flip over the page to see if there's more, and then he goes back to read it again from the beginning.
She wasn't expecting him to read it a second time, let alone a third time, still with an inscrutable expression on his face. Maybe she should have positioned herself closer so she could see every emotion flickering through his face as he reads - she's too far away to see anything and she curses her lack of foresight. If she moves now, he'll see her, and she doesn't even know what she was thinking when she wrote the letter, when she managed to convince Anne to help her get close to Sebastian earlier that night during supper, when she moved herself to sit in this corner just so she could watch him find and read the -
"Hello."
She nearly jumps out of her skin with a muffled shriek at the sound of his voice so close to her. Why does she feel almost guilty when she looks up at him? She's so, so afraid.
Emotions have never come easily to her. Showing them is something she's not sure will ever come naturally - Anne and Imelda can laugh and shout without a care in the world, but she always holds herself back. Hides a small part of herself away, that only she knows about. Baring herself completely to Sebastian in the letter she feverishly wrote the day before was like ripping out a part of her soul and giving it to him to keep. Once the words were written down, there was no way to take them back, not that she wants to.
But what if he rejects her?
Her eyes get hot and tears cloud her vision as she stares up at him, still wringing her hands together over and over, feeling like she's positively going to burst with the force of the emotions roiling around inside of her. Why did she think this would be a good idea?
Now he's kneeling in front of her, holding her hands in his bigger, rougher ones - reminiscent of that fateful day so long ago in Divination when he had flustered her so - and a thumb is gently wiping away the big, fat tears she didn't even realize were rolling down her cheeks and she lifts her face from watching their intertwined hands and gazes tremulously into his eyes.
They are so, so gentle and warm and full of love, but the emotions are still too much for her and she can't stop crying for some unfathomable reason, so the kiss they share is wet and lovely and full of incredulous laughter.
"I love you too," he whispers between kisses, over and over again, until the words almost lose meaning - but these words could never lose their meaning when they come from him.
 In the years to come, they always bicker about who was the first to say it. Sebastian says that writing doesn't count - that his words are the ones that decide who is the victor in this small argument - but she always just smiles at his insistence, knowing that he's kept her letter tucked inside whatever book he's reading since it first fell onto his lap.
#if I forgot any tags let me know#it is the bane of my existence the reason I hate posting thinfs#hope you like this one!!!! it was a lot of fun to write#and now I can get back to doing things since this has been removed from my brainđ#Iâm still kind of on hiatus here !!!!!!! đĽ˛đĽ˛đĽ˛đĽ˛#but I try to comment/hope I see a lot of whatâs posted !!#also if youâre the anon who sent me the ask I have 3k of my next chapter written & hopefully now that this is done I can get back to my fic#and Iâll post a little excerpt soonđđ#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x reader#Sebastian sallow smut#sebastian sallow fic#hogwarts legacy fanfic
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i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.
picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.
it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.
and then he gets to the sword.
demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.
but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.
when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.
the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.
and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.
the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.
luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.
instead, he hears this:
"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."
but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.
"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."
"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."
"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."
"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"
somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.
weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.
xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.
it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.
sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.
maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.
maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.
"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.
hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."
xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.
...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.
(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)
#PIDW but make xin mo a soul eater fan#why did i actually write all of this#idk it just sounded funny but then i kinda got sad at the end because bingge is such a lonely person its genuinely depressing#at least in here he has his this weird talking demonic sword#someone transmigrates into xin mo and ends up becoming an emotional support and comfort sword#i would say that this could be shen yuan but the xin mo transmigrator couldnt give any less of a fuck about bingges plans#and would also annoy sqq if he had to deal with it#might write this#but i need to finish that time travel bingge x reader enemies to friends to lovers thing#yes you heard me right a bingge x reader let me make him happy ok#bingmei already has sqq bingge needs someone :( and therapy but that doesnt exist here#while i thought of this i imagined like this floating talking sword by bingge#i actually have like a lot of WIPs this is only one of them#for some reason i had this idea after seeing this one instagram reel where gojo was cinderellas fairy godmother and sang IT girl#and that inspired an annoying talking xin mo transmigrator#luo binghe#luo bingge#mxtx svsss#svsss#fanfic stuff#the scum villain's self saving system#svsss ideas
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Make a move
summary: you think Aemond is too arrogant to woo you, but heâs got some tricks up his sleeve. pairing: Aemond Targaryen x F!Reader words: ~ 6000 warnings: a bit of bickering and teasing, it gets slightly heated (Aemond has a praise kink, but I doubt anyone is surprised), mostly itâs just silly fluff authorâs note: this was inspired by âCrazy, stupid, loveâ, particularly the scene where Emma kisses Ryan (one of my favorite on-screen kisses!) and everything that follows. I recently rewatched the movie and had an idea for this story (also, I may or may not have a thing for menâs hands... youâve been warned)
You keep mindlessly tapping your fingers on the wooden table, your cup of wine untouched. You donât really notice the movement, too wrapped up in your thoughts, until your friend Margaret sneers.
âIf you donât stop, I might bite your hand off,â she says, sitting across the table.
âThen Iâll use the other one,â you huff but pause your fidgeting. âBetter bite my head off, it will do us both more good.â
âBut I like your head very much,â she pouts. âIs this about Thomas again?â
You groan, hiding your face in your hands and thinking back to the conversation you had earlier today with said man. Your emotions are a mix of annoyance and embarrassment as you canât stop thinking about his words.
âHe said the meeting will be of great importance. What if he...? You know,â you mutter, and Margaret huffs.
âI hope he wonât.â
âHey, you are supposed to be my friend!â you playfully pinch her hand, and she fakes a gasp.
âI am your friend. And as your friend, I think you deserve way more than that sad excuse of a man,â her face gets serious for a second, and you feel your smile waver.
âMar, you know I donât have much of a choice,â you breathe out, and your heart sinks at the thought. âHe isnât that bad, really. Heâs always been kind to me.â
âSounds like every girl's dream,â she rolls her eyes. âAnd you want to settle down for a kind man? Nothing else?â
âWhat do you think my options are? Please, enlighten me since Iâm clearly missing something,â you cross arms on your chest. You know sheâs right and she means good, but your frustration gets the best of you.
Luckily, Margaret catches it and gives you a sympathetic smile.
âAll Iâm saying is that for as long as I can remember youâve always dreamt of something more,â she extends her hand across the table and lightly squeezes yours. âWeâve been friends since we were little kids, and you are the most loving person out of everyone I know. Should I remind you who taught me how to dance? Protected me against my idiot brothers?â you giggle at the memory. âYouâve got an adventurous spirit and a heart of gold. You deserve an epic love story,â thereâs a hint of sadness in her voice.
For a minute you sink into your thoughts again.
âAnd you think Thomas is not the one?â you sigh.
âHeâs epically boring at best,â Margaret takes a sip out of her cup. âI know heâs not the one â and you do, too.â
âMy parents approve of him,â you try to argue, but sheâs quick to object.
âThey only care about your approval. And they mistakenly took your lack of protest for it,â Margaret gives you a gloomy look.
âYou are aware that I canât wait forever, right? Iâm not getting any younger.â
âNor smarter,â she snickers.
âNot everyone is lucky to meet the love of their life at the age of ten-and-two,â you frown. Margaret and Jamie got married three years ago, but they have been betrothed for seven prior to that.
âFair,â she beams, and you canât stay irritated for long. They are still ridiculously in love with each other, and you are really happy for her. You just wish to feel that, too. You crave that indescribable feeling of longing and wanting and caring for someone else â and being loved just as much in return.
âMaybe the concept of love is overrated,â you ramble. âIt was easy to believe in when I was a kid but... As I am growing older, itâs getting harder to cling to hope, I guess. And Iâm trying to make an effort and meet new people and... to show just enough character to not scare them away,â you quote your mother. âYet all of them just make me feel nothing. At all. And Iââ you realize that Margaret isnât listening, her gaze is on something else behind your back. âHey, Iâm pouring out my heart of gold,â you hiss, and her sight shifts to you.
Before you can question her behavior, she informs. âSomeoneâs been keeping an eye on you.â
âMargaret, Iâm trying to have a serious conversation about my future,â you fight the urge to turn around.
âMaybe this is your future!â she winks, and you grunt at her silliness.
âWe are in a tavern out of all places! Iâd rather take a kind man as my betrothed than a drunk one,â youâre about to scold her, but your friendâs eyes go wide.
âHis hair,â her voice is barely above the whisper. âI can make out the strands of silver,â Margaret slightly leans towards you. âYou know what that means?â
âThat you had too much wine? Mayhaps we should head home,â you suggest, but your friend protests.
âSit down!â she shushes. âHe is coming over here,â Margaret puts on a smile that looks painfully forged. The never-ending chattering of people around you makes your head hurt, and youâre too tired to play along.
âMar, itâs been a long day, and the last thing I want is to waste my time entertaining some manâs arrogance and...,â you donât get to finish because he interrupts your train of thought.Â
âWhat if a man entertains you?â his voice is low and cocky. You close your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. You donât want to make a scene in a public place so you pull yourself together, thinking that you can talk your way out of this ridiculous situation.
But when you turn to him, your eyes meeting his, your plan is suddenly forgotten.
He is taller than you, a black cloak covering most of his body and his head, so your attention is naturally drawn to his face. He wears an eyepatch, and you look over his sharp features â his prominent nose, high cheekbones that flow down to the curved contour of lips, plump and alluring. Margaret was right about the hair, but she failed to mention the color of his eye. Taking that into account, itâs not hard to guess that heâs a Targaryen. Which means that he definitely is arrogant.
Well, two can play that game.
You ignore his question and pointedly donât stand up in his presence.
âTo what do we owe the pleasure of your company?â
âI believe the pleasure is all mine,â he is only looking at you.
âWe just met, you should not jump to conclusions,â you feel Margaret kicking your leg under the table but dismiss her warning.
âSharp tongue,â he notes.
âWill this be a problem?â you challenge him.
âOn the contrary,â it sounds like heâs actually enjoying it.
It is tricky to read his intentions. But when his gaze is concentrated on you, it makes you feel like thereâs no one else in the room, and that sensation is thrilling.
âWhat brings you here, if I may ask?â you press, trying to ignore the unknown feeling creeping up on you.
âIt is a nice tavern, wouldnât you say so? Since you are here, too.âÂ
âNo, I mean what brings you to our table. There are plenty of others you couldâve graced with your presence.â
âSomething mustâve caught my eye,â he says, and you see a hint of a smile on his lips.
âSome thing? Well, the interior isnât very eye-catching if you ask me. But we might have to disagree on that.â
âYou arenât being very agreeable, it seems.â
âThatâs what servants are for, and Iâm not one,â youâre being defiant yet it doesnât bother him.
âPlease, do tell me more about yourself,â he swiftly pulls up a nearby chair and sits right next to you, his eye never leaving your face.
âShould you pull another one? For your ego, since it takes quite a lot of space.â
He squints at your words, and the corners of his mouth turn into a grin.
âI think we have that in common,â he bites back, but thereâs no anger in his voice. If anything, the man looks curious, and you have to admit that you donât take offense at his wit.
âAre there any other far-reaching conclusions that you managed to come up to?â you turn your body to him, so now you two are opposite each other.
âI only got here a few minutes ago. But I am a great observer should you give me a little more time.â
âAm I supposed to take your word for it? You are not as convincing as you think,â you impugn, so he pauses briefly.
âYou donât trust people easily, do you? Howâs that for an observation,â his voice gets quiet, but his gaze is piercing.
âMen,â you correct him. âI donât trust men.â
âAny of them dared to break your trust?â he gets a little closer, and you instinctively gravitate toward him.
âThat wouldâve required them to gain my trust first,â you retort.
âAnd what would it take for me to do so?â
âDo you expect me to make it easy? Thatâs not very observant of you,â your grin matches his own.
âNothing good comes easy,â he murmurs, and you involuntarily lay your eyes on his lips. âBut I expect it to be worth it.â
You feel a pull toward him, something thatâs hard to describe but oh so natural to give into. His confidence isnât intimidating but rather attractive, and you canât help but notice how his gaze warms up your whole body. He makes you feel wanted without even doing anything.
But then you think of Thomas. Of the upcoming meeting and your future that depends on it. And you know you canât throw it all away for some silly conversation with a self-confident stranger. No matter how enjoyable it seems to be.
You bite your lip and look away from him.
âThat is enough entertainment for today,â you put some distance between you two. When you give him a quick glance, you catch a shadow of disappointment on his face.
âDidnât take you for a quitter,â the blond comments.
âYou should manage your expectations.â
âMaybe I should manage yours,â he has some nerve.Â
âThat would be very time-consuming,â you suddenly realize that heâs sitting in your way, and it looks like he isnât going to move.
âAre you in a rush?â
âI amâ â âShe isnât,â you and Margaret say at the same time. You feel your cheeks heating up as you give her a death stare.
âHas anyone told you that you look charming when you are embarrassed?â he remarks, and you want to wipe the smirk off his face. Preferably with your lips. You mentally scold yourself and push that thought away.
âDoes this usually work for you?â you get up, thinking of a way out.
âYou tell me,â he leans back on his chair with a shit-eating grin on his face, clearly aware that he's blocking your exit.
âCornering women in taverns is your way of courting?â you think how to distract him, but nothing springs to mind. âAnd then what, you just drag them into your man cave?â
âThey come voluntarily,â it looks like your words struck a chord, but he keeps up the facade of indifference. âI happen to live nearby,â he notes casually.
âWe both know thatâs not exactly true,â you scoff with a tilt of your head. You are positive that the walk to the castle will take at least thirty minutes.
âWant to bet?â he sits up straight.
âAnd what do I get out of this?â
He looks you up and down before answering:
âMe.â
Heâs pushing his luck at this point.
You glance around and take note that the tavern is packed with people, and no one is paying attention to you. You also realize that Margaret already sneaked out and is standing at the door. She raises an eyebrow with a silent question, as if asking what are you going to do.
Thatâs when you decide you can push some boundaries, too.
Your eyes are back on the man in front of you. Without giving it a second thought, you step closer to him.
âWas that supposed to make me weak in the knees?â you whisper, and his face expression melts into an amused one. Seizing the moment, you yank your dress up and throw a leg over him. He immediately looks down at the exposed skin of your thigh, his mouth is slightly agape as heâs now sitting between your legs. You see him tensing up, his fingers clenching into fists as if heâs fighting the urge to put his hands on you. You think that if he does, you are not going anywhere. You wouldnât want to go anywhere â the realization makes you tremble, and you know that you donât have much time.
You boldly place your hand on his shoulder, pressing him back onto the chair.
âI hate to break it to you, but you are not that impressive,â you say, throwing your other leg over him and successfully moving away.
When you get to the door, the look on Margaretâs face is priceless. You grab her by the arm and drag her outside in a hurry, merging into the crowd of passers-by.
âI need you to explain what the hââ she starts, but you interrupt her.
âPlease, donât,â you snarl. âDonât say anything, just give me five minutes.â
You canât even explain to yourself what happened back there and why you did that. You think of his gaze roaming over your body, the depth of his voice and the curves of his lips. You tell yourself that you need to get him out of your head as soon as possible. You fail miserably.
One week later, you are dining with Thomas at his house, and yet your mind wanders back to the arrogant one-eyed man. Aemond, as youâve learned â and it wasnât that you wanted to, but fate had other plans.
And by fate, you mean Margaret.
Once her five minutes were up, she couldnât stop talking. By the time you came home, you got his whole backstory â the second-born son of the King, has two brothers and two sisters, rides the biggest dragon in the world. Overly confident, stubborn, wears an eyepatch because he doesnât want to scare the ladies of the court. Usually doesnât talk much.
Unlike Thomas who gathered his whole family and canât stop blabbing. You struggle to participate in their conversation, giving polite smiles left and right. You donât know what to expect of the evening, and it makes you nervous. And not in a good way. All of a sudden the possibility of marrying Thomas doesnât seem to be the best.
From the corner of your eye, you catch him standing up, clearly readying himself for a speech. He has a manner of pursing his lips every time heâs agitated, and it looks weird. Thatâs also how it felt when he kissed you, which is probably the reason you havenât done much kissing after that. You wonder what itâs like to kiss Aemond. Just thinking of it makes your heart rate speed up, and you nervously gulp half a cup of wine.
âI gathered all of you today to make an important announcement,â he starts his pompous monologue, âthat may not come as a surprise to some of you.â
You cautiously look at the door.
âBut, as of recently, I received inspiration to change the course of my life. And I decided to devote myself to the service of Gods.â
You nearly choke on your drink. In all the years youâve known Thomas, heâs never been to the Sept once.
âAnd I wanted to grant you this privilege to be the first ones to know.â
Youâve got to be kidding me. You wait for any other announcements â literally anything else â but Thomas goes back to chattering, also accepting pointless congratulations. It takes you ten painfully long minutes to get a chance to talk to him alone.
âMay I have a word?â you inquire, and the two of you move to the far end of the room.
âIt is about your speech,â you clarify. âIt might sound silly, but I thought that you were planning... Um,â youâre trying to formulate your concerns. âI was wondering, how would you describe our relationship? Or the prospect of it, I should say,â you give him a tight smile.
âOh,â his face pales slightly.
Your facial expression mirrors his. Oh?
âI am actually glad you asked,â he awkwardly takes your hands in his, and you notice how sweaty his palms are.
âYou know, youâve been a great companion of mine,â his voice is as weak as his smile. âAnd I am forever grateful for those moments that we shared as they only brought me joy,â his hands feel like jelly, and you donât want to hold them. Like, ever. âBut now that Iâm choosing to follow my destiny,â you do your best to suppress a chuckle at his dramatic phrasing. âI decided that... I need some time to figure out how I feel. About us.â
You look at him, dumbfounded, his words sinking in.
âYou need... some time?â you drawl, feeling an emotion bubbling up in your chest. You are not sure what it is. âYou? Need to think about us?â you repeat, and he nods, his brows furrowed at your reaction.
There is a moment of silence, and then you hear yourself laughing. You canât control it as youâre overcome with emotion, your laughter only growing stronger, to the point of you tearing up a bit. The emotion is relief. Thereâs no way youâll ever marry this man.
âI am the one who should be glad, Thomas,â you shake his hand while he seems wildly perplexed, all of his guests staring at you. âThank you for your honesty, really. I hope you will be successful in all your endeavors, marriage included.â
He opens his mouth to say something, but you already turned around.
âWhere are you going?!â
You stop for a second, your thoughts rushing back to the conversation with Margaret. To that evening in the tavern.
âI have a meeting, itâs of great importance,â you say and quicken your pace. You reach the tavern when itâs already getting dark, the weather is cloudy, and your coat is wet in the light drizzle. You walk in a daze as youâre torn between being excited and anxious. There is a chance that Aemond wonât be there. That he doesnât remember you. That heâs with someone else. That he had a change of heart. That he...
You spot him almost immediately after you walk in.
Coincidentally or not, heâs sitting at the exact same table you were at the first time you met. You stay still as his eye absentmindedly wanders around the room and then lands on you. Aemond stands up â way too quickly â and you see a well-known grin growing on his face. Your eyes dart to his lips, and the question pops up in your head again.
You feel the pull â and before you can think, your body follows it.
He keeps his gaze on you, his brows rising at the speed of your approach. You cover the distance in a heartbeat, your hands reaching his face, and he slightly flinches, probably because your fingers are cold from being outside. And then you stand on your tiptoes and crash your lips onto his without any hesitation.
He gasps, surprised and frozen for a moment. It takes just a couple of seconds for him to melt into the kiss, and his hands are instantly on your waist, pulling you closer to him. Aemondâs lips are way softer than you anticipated â and itâs the only thing on your mind. His mouth on yours, warm and exploring, the slow pacing of the kiss that leaves you lightheaded and yearning for more.
He presses your body into his, lifting you up with ease, and your feet leave the ground. You tug his hood further down so it covers most of your face, too, and then you slide your thumb up the sharp line of his jaw. His tongue runs over your lower lip, and you feel a wave of heat rising in your stomach.
You pull away before you can take it too far.
âYou remember me?â you ask him, panting.
He hums, his eye focused on your lips.
âStill believe that nothing good comes easy?â you mimic his words, but he ignores your jesting.
âDefinitely,â Aemond looks you in the eyes, keeping his hands on your waist.
âIs the bet still on?â
âYes,â the corners of his mouth curl.
âLead the way, then.â By the time you reach the castle, the rain is pouring in full force, and your clothes are drenched. The two of you rush through the streets, your hands intertwined, and it feels like it only takes about ten minutes before you sneak into his chambers, both out of breath and giggling.
Only when you take a look around the unfamiliar settings, it suddenly dawns on you that you are all alone with a man you barely know, and your bravery starts fading away.
Whether Aemond notices the change in your mood or not, you canât tell, but he respectfully keeps his distance.
âYou need to get out of these,â he points at your coat and dress. âTheyâre soaking wet.â
âIs this your way of trying to get me naked?â you eye him suspiciously, making Aemond scoff.
âI just donât want you to catch a cold,â he honestly states. âIâll fetch you a shirt of mine.â Sensing your doubts, he adds, âDonât worry, it is long enough.â
He brings you the shirt and politely turns away, going to the other end of the room to light the fireplace. On his way there, he removes the cloak and the jacket, his upper body only covered by the same piece of clothing he gave you. You watch him carefully, noting the movement of his back muscles as he bends down.
The sparkling glow of fire brings you back to reality, and you hastily remove your clothes, leaving the undergarments on, which are luckily dry. You put on his shirt, and it barely reaches your knees, but the material feels nice and comfortable. While Aemond is still busy with the fire, you glance over his room.
Itâs spacious and simply furnished, and your attention is drawn to a couple of shelves nearby. You look at the tightly packed rows of books, some of the hardcovers are worn out from old age. You catch the familiar naming and pull one of them out, gently flipping through the pages.
âYou take interest in philosophy?â his voice startles you. You missed the moment he came back, and when you take your eyes off the book, you see him leaning on the nearest shelf, looking at you inquisitively.
âI do, indeed,â you confess. âAnd I read this one so many times, my own copy pretty much fell apart.â
âYou can take mine,â Aemond offers.
You notice that despite his cockiness, his presence is actually very calming. Everything is easy with him â striking up conversations, making jokes. Taking his hand in yours, running in the rain. Kissing.
Your heart skips a beat, and you sheepishly move on to another topic:
âShouldnât you change as well?â you refer to his shirt, but he shakes his head.
âNo need.â
âOh, was it the Targaryenâs dragon blood that helped you dry up?â you tend to jest when youâre nervous, and right now is no exception.
âMy cloak is too thick for the water to soak through. But I like your version, too,â his lips ripple into a smile.
You can help but smile back. âThank you for the shirt.â
âIt looks really good on you,â the words smoothly roll off his tongue and ignite the familiar burning deep in your core. He keeps his gaze on your face, your eyes locking for a moment.
You look away first, letting out a timid laugh.
âI must admit, I like this way of courting better,â you place the book back. âBut you can cut it short. Whatâs your move?â
âMy... move?â Aemond gives you a quizzical look.
âYes, your big move. Show me,â you request eagerly.
âDonât know what you're talking about,â he looks down, his aplomb faltering.
âWhat do you usually do to impress a lady?â
âI donât really need to do anything,â Aemond shrugs.
âWhat a humble individual you are,â you chuckle and give him a minute to think. âSo what is it?â
âI just told you...,â it seems like heâs trying to dodge the topic, which only sparks your curiosity.
âOh, come on! You princes always have a move. Let me guess, you speak to her in High Valyrian? Men like to talk big,â he snorts. âNo? Try to win her over with your...,â you gesture at his bookshelves, â...precious collection? Although itâs risky because what if sheâs not into reading, that would be awkward,â and then it hits you. âWait, itâs the dragon, isnât it? You show her your dragon? Got to make sure itâs well-fed, though, otherwise youâll have a date with a roasted ââ
âItâs my sword,â he cuts you off, and you swear you can see him blushing at the confession.
âUm, your sword? Is this a metaphor for somethââ
âGods, no. I mean the actual sword. The one you grip with your hand and poke people with.â
âThat description didnât help,â you tease, and he groans.
âYou know what I mean,â Aemond gives you a pointed look, but his face flushed pink, and you canât take him seriously.
âI do, you just look really charming when you are embarrassed,â you say cheekily, which makes him huff. âMy apologies. Please elaborate on the sword. How does it work?â
Aemond hesitates but then realizes that you will never let it go, so he gives in.
âI bring my training into the conversation. And then I... show them,â he talks with his hands when heâs uncomfortable, and you find it endearing.
âAnd thatâs it?â
âPretty much,â Aemond nods.
âThey watch you train, and thatâs what does it for the ladies?â
âI donât know why, I never gave it much thought.â
âWell, someone should. Canât imagine it ever working on me.â
You feel a sudden shift in the air as Aemond slowly looks up at you. Youâre standing a few feet apart, and heâs yet to initiate anything, but once again, it only takes a look from him for you to feel a familiar flare-up of the tantalizing desire.
âIâm not going to take you to the training yard in the pouring rain,â he concludes.
âBut itâs not about the place, is it? Must be something about you,â now youâre the one champing at the bit to see what the fuss is all about.
âI donât have a sword on me.â
âOpt for something smaller, I am sure it will do,â you hint at the dagger that youâve seen him carry, and wait expectantly for him to agree.
Aemond reluctantly contemplates your suggestion, then sighs and goes to get his dagger which he left next to the cloak.
You wonder if the ladies are attracted to his competitive spirit. If they enjoy the feeling of danger they get at the sight of steel, the cold shine of it, the clang of swords. Or maybe itâs the urge to take sides and root for the winner?
And then you see Aemond rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, â and your breath suddenly hitches.
The room is lit by fire, the warmth of it illuminating his skin, casting shadows that frame every muscle of his arms. He takes the dagger in one hand, the movement fast and honed, and your eyes follow it. You notice the scattering of his veins that go down his wrist and into his palm, the blue lines tightening with every swirl. The silver blade catches and reflects the light, but you are focused solely on his flexing muscles.
Heâs maneuvering the dagger with ease, almost carelessly, yet you know that every motion is well-practiced through years of training. His long fingers grip the hilt, revealing the sharp outline of his knuckles. The steel silently cuts through the air, again and again, but your eyes are glued to his hands. The way they move, the power that he holds in them. The things he can do with them, with his fingers. The way they will feel on your bare skin and in your... You swallow, letting out a shuddered breath.
âAre you weak in the knees yet?â his words bring you out of your trance, and you blink a couple of times, trying to shake the feeling off. Your body is so heated, youâre surprised you are not sweating yet.
âIs this the point when the ladies throw themselves at you?â your voice is hoarse, and you take a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself.
Aemond stops his movements. You feel your skin tingling with anticipation, waiting for him to finish what he started, but he doesnât budge. For a short while, youâre taken aback by the change in his demeanor â and the realization strikes you.
âWait, how many ladies were here before me?â
âI never said I take them here,â he puts the dagger back in its sheath, averting his gaze.
âBut you told me that you do your... thing with the sword for them.â
âIn the training yard, with other people around us, yes.â
âSo then you just leave them all hot and bothered? Aemond, that is cruel,â his actions confuse you, but while youâre looking for an explanation, he turns back to you and finally meets your gaze.
âIt wouldâve been cruel to lead them on when I feel nothing for them,â he reveals, and you discern the raw honesty in his words. And you know exactly what he means. Itâs the tiresome attempts to find someone who will spark your interest, to spot a connection, all of those efforts leading nowhere and making you feel like youâre the one at fault. But you arenât â and he isnât, either.
Aemond looks almost ashamed of letting out something so personal, but you welcome the intimacy of this moment.
âI shall consider myself lucky, then,â you say softly.
He gives you that same look that makes you feel like the world around you disappears.
âYou are... something else,â Aemond mumbles.
You guess that he isnât used to being straightforward about his feelings, nor does he know how to express his affection with words. You really, really want to kiss him again.
The boyish grin reappears on his face.
âDid you mean I left you all hot and bothered?â Aemond narrows his eye.
âI never said that,â you smile coyly. âMaybe you shouldâve tried a little harder.â
âI happen to have some tricks up my sleeve,â he takes a step towards you and, before you can ask for details, you feel his fingers on your ribs as he starts tickling you, and you immediately burst into laughter.
His touches are light, fingers grazing against your clothed skin as he subtly moves you further into the room until your legs bump into his bed. Losing your balance, you fall on it, your back met with the fluffiness of thick blankets. Aemond hovers over you, and you canât stop giggling, trying to wiggle away from his tickles.
Wrapped up in the moment, you make a careless move, your hand brushing up his cheek â and you suddenly see a bright gleam of blue on the right side of his face.
Aemond freezes at the spot, halting his actions, and momentarily flinches away. You are gawking at the sapphire, unable to form a coherent sentence.
He makes a move to fix his eyepatch, but you stop him.
âDonât,â you catch his hand mid-air, your grip delicate but firm, and he doesnât fight it. You wouldâve been surprised by your own quick reaction if only your mind wasnât completely occupied with the sight in front of you.
It looks like the gem absorbs all the light in the room, shimmering with various shades of blue. Itâs cut in a way to imitate a surface of an eye, the sides of the sapphire polished and blending into each other. There is a depth to it, bright sparkles drowning in a color thatâs close to black, and the spillovers are mesmerizing.
You bring your hand closer to his face, to the area thatâs been left covered and unloved, and touch the skin with the tip of your finger. He lets you.
âWow,â you breathe out, gently tracing his scar. âThis is the most badass thing Iâve ever seen.â
Aemond looks at you in disbelief, his eye fixed on your face, and his lips parted.
â...What?â he manages to ask.
âYou look like a pirate. A really badass... sky pirate?â you suggest, and he lets out a light chuckle, still not entirely sure he believes you.
So you shamelessly continue.
âA pirate with his own dragon. The largest one in the Seven Kingdoms as Iâve heard,â you can almost feel him swelling with pride. âHe charms the ladies with his fighting skills â and has a gem for an eye? Incredibly irresistible,â your index finger circles the area around his sapphire.
He listens attentively, holding his breath.
âA prince who is as good with his sword as he is with his wit, fond of reading and isnât averse to mischief. Any lady of the court wouldâve been fortunate to get a hold of such treasure,â you remove the eyepatch and tenderly cradle his face. âYet I am the one whoâs been honored to see all of him,â you glance from the bright gemstone to his eye and back. âHonestly, itâs kind of hard to pick which one I like more...,â you are barely able to notice him sharply lower his head, and your words die down.
Without a warning, Aemond covers your lips with his, the intensity of the kiss pulling the air out of your lungs right away. Heâs been holding back the first time, but he isnât now, and the passion sets you ablaze. His tongue slips into your mouth, easily tangling with yours, and you moan at the contact. Aemond skilfully unbuttons your shirt, and the second his fingers touch your skin, you shiver, the quivering sensation washing over you. His hands slowly slide down your ribcage, tracing the curves of your body, making your back arch, your chest flush against his, your heart pounding. He contours the bend of your hips, then presses his palms there, his touches rough, claiming, burning. You move your fingers up the base of his neck and run them through his hair, and he releases a shaky sigh. Aemond relishes in the feeling of your compliance, the fervor of it, your body being so needy and welcoming, until you are both gasping for air.
âWas that impressive enough?â he rasps, and you look up at him through your lashes, spellbound and breathless. His pupil is dilated, gaze clouded with lust, your noses adjoin.
âYeah-yes. Yes, very,â you utter, at a loss for words.
âGood. Because Iâm about to outdo myself,â he tightens his grip on your thighs, picking you up and moving into the middle of the bed. Your head barely touches the pillow when his lips are on yours again.
đĽ my masterlist
English is not my first language, so feel free to message me if you spot any major mistakes
#aemond targaryen x reader#not gonna lie the main reason I'm finally posting this is because a few ppl on AO3 liked it and it gave me a *little* boost of confidence#kinda??? I mean it also took me a few days of trying to convince myself to post it on tumblr#(also I've been staring at this draft for 4 hours)#my confidence is non-existent lmao#my stuff#aemond targaryen#aemond x reader#aemond x y/n#aemond x you#aemond targaryen x y/n#aemond one eye#oh god how many tags can I come up with#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen fanfics#aemond targaryen fics#hotd fanfiction
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Prompt Single mom Danny lols
Now if you told pre Danny zapped that he would be a stay-at-home single parent for two very young half ghost children at 17 he would have called you insane.
Well joke's on him right?
Now Danny, freshly 17, is changing de-aged baby Ellie while trying to make sure 6 year old Dan also de-aged doesn't burn down the mansion. Vlad's mansion in Gotham ei where they are currently living Dan! You put that flaming hand down, right now mister!
Oh and the weirdo's in glorified spandex are not helping Danny's blood pressure. He's only 17 and he's already got a head of white hair! Damn his parents and their stupid de-power ghost ray!
The bats heard tidbits of calls and currently thinks Danny is being kept captive by some rich meta who is threatening Danny.
Danny is the one doing the threatening around here." Vlad you behave or I sic the feral children on you!" Danny being the most feral of course does most of the damage.
#Single mom Danny#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#baby ellie#Smol child Dan#Danny raising Dan & Ellie with money#he gets from Vlad#Danny: You are the reason they exist! Take responsibility and pay child support!#child support#Bitch that's a Mansion#Danny just shoots Vlad a text like 'send me some money for the kids' and Vlad just sends an disgusting amount.#Elli and Dan got hit with the de-power ghost ray and got de-aged#fanfic promt#for everyone#including myself
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To fanfiction authors: Please learn what Dead Dove means. There has been a trend, especially will all the new people who have joined over the last few years, to tag fics which are no where close to Dead Dove as Dead Dove. Just cause the fic contains topics which aren't allowed on tiktok or which they think are bad, like Major Character Death, Violence and so one. Which exists as seperate warnings on ao3. A fic is not automatically Dead Dove just cause it deals with those topics.
The overuse of the Dead Dove tag will make the tag utterly useless in the long run and will lead to an increase of censoring from the outside as new people and everyone else will think that everything they do not like is Dead Dove and therefore bad.
#fanfiction#ao3#dead dove do not eat#wattpad#dead dove fic#fanfic#fandoms#author#listen when i read fic about the witcher which show and games include a heavy amount of violence and torture#do not dare to tag your fic dead dove just cause a character is getting beaten up a bit and tortured#this is not what the tag is for#obviously dead dove applies differently for every fandom#but the ao3 warnings exists for a reason#ao3 etiquette
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Themes vs Realism
Saw an old debate about how isolated the Encanto is and it got me thinking about my own headcanons.
I watched the movie, saw the windows and wine glasses and thought âOh! They must have trade, glass requires a specific sort of sand and while glass blowers would be relatively common, the odds they had somebody who knows how to make glass frit are pretty lowâ. And I can back up that argument with research and facts, buying glass is getting more expensive because weâre running low on sand with the right chemical composition, glass frit production would be more likely to happen in towns near silica rich beaches, where as Almaâs hometown looked like it was in the middle of the forest. Nowadays, not every country in the world has the right sand, when I worked with glass blowers they imported their frit from I think a family in Sweden(?) that are like one of the last few people making frit. So glass is actually a very big deal! I digress. Basically, realistically, the fact that they have glass means that they must have some trade.
But thatâs completely irrelevant to the movie, isnât it?
The movie is all about healing from generational trauma, Encanto being completely isolated is better for the movieâs themes. Itâs like how we all love the deleted scene where Bruno argues with Alma and says âI wish I was deadâ but the writers cut that scene because it gives Bruno confronting Alma on Mirabelâs behalf an extra bit of punch if he was never willing to do so before. Realistically, a deeply unhappy, almost forty adult who is as blunt as Bruno would have had that argument with Alma; thematically, Mirabelâs mysterious TĂo couldnât muster up the courage/passion to confront the movieâs antagonist until he was doing it for love. Realistically, it is actually necessary for Pepa to control her emotions because she can create hurricanes and that sorta disaster could wipe out the village; thematically, Pepa needs to be allowed to let her feelings flow through her without anyone snapping at her about it. Realistically they must have trade; thematically, they must be completely isolated.
There isnât really a good way for canon to bridge this gap as far as I can tell, in story telling themes usually take precedence over realism, especially in a fantasy setting. But for a lot of people (like me) the funnest thing to do when writing fanfic is throw in a dash of realism and see what comes out of it. Obviously, the way you want to reconcile this is absolutely up to you. I personally care more about the movie sticking to themes than I do it being realistic or conforming to my background knowledge, Iâm fully expecting to have most of my head canons disproven when they release more material. That said, for the sake of fic, I think asking questions like âWhere are they getting the raw materials to build thatâ is a great launching pad.
I donât know how to word my conclusion. That year I spent working with glass blowers is going to butt heads with my suspension of disbelief for the rest of my life? Realism is great for fanfic but not so much in short stories like movies? My head canons will never be canon and itâs better that way?
#encanto#encanto headcanons#encanto meta#foggy rambles#fanfic meta#kinda proud that I managed to keep this one a reasonable length#still putting in a cut because manners#I can also connect this to how I like the idea of Bruno being Demi and doesnât have a very cis relationship with gender#because thatâs whatâs most fun and has the most emotional resonance for me specifically#but I wonât be bothered if they make him cis and gay#well⌠Iâll be bothered if I am then attacked because my pre-existing stories feature him as bi#and I am so tired of being told making a character bi is queer erasure#but thatâs a fandom culture problem and this is a post about reconciling canon themes with personal head canons#so Iâm saying I wonât get huffy when the canon characters inevitably diverge from the versions in my head#I managed to put all the rambling in the tags :)
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"Nico solo book should be a tragedy" disagree.
Nico was Rick Riordan's first canonically queer character, and the first book queer character a lot of my generation knew about as kids- it would be a huge slap on the face of his audience if his story ended as a tragedy, and Riordan knows that. Thats why solangelo has such a solid, healthy dynamic in the background of toa.
Of now, he's also one of very few pjo-verse characters to be basically confirmed mentally ill, and he's also really disabled in the text, whether its said or not.
Nico is a queer orphan who's entire storyline til toa was just tragedy after tragedy after goddamn tragedy, and who has JUST begun to heal. He deserves a happy ending.
More importantly, the audience- the queer, disabled, mentally ill kids who see themselves in him- deserve to see him be happy at the end.
To make his story a tragedy would be to validate Nico's (and Hades') belief that kids like him don't get a happy ending. That all we're made for is tragedy.
Rick Riordan first wrote The Lightning Thief so his adhd son could finally see himself in a hero. He keeps writing after his son is grown because he knows how much other kids need those stories- his students, even. He knows.
It's even in the narrative itself: it tells us upfront that Percy's mother called him Perseus because he was the only greek hero who got a happy ending.
Nico is the queer kid's original Perseus.
The reasoning follows that he must be happy.
#alex wont shut up#nico di angelo#pjo#hoo#toa#tsats#is that the acronym? ill be honest you guys idk#nico solo book#idc about will tbh#growing REAL tired of all the tragedy talk. gucking hell.#like you can like whatever you want and write your own fanfics but#sometimes theres a REASON for a story to exist#you cant just ignore it bc of whatever#pjo is a story about how the gods arent always right#its about surviving the odds#to NOT have Nico survive then. would defeat the fucking point
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You know, I understand that SPOP didnât really have enough episodes or time to flesh out the story or anything else, but that doesnât necessarily mean that I HAVE to like it.
It didnât serve, and thatâs itâs downfall. If Nate came out and said that he did what he believed that it could for the show at the time with very little episodes and time, I would understand, but I donât have to agree with the end results. Also, there are things in the show that turned out bad, but couldâve been avoided.
#it doesnât change the fact that the only reason spop reboot exists is for it to be a huge CA fanfic#I care for the series outside of shipping and C@tra#she ra spop#she ra and the princesses of power#she ra#spop critical#spop criticism#fandom critical#slightly Nate critical
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if this bothers anyone they can kindly feel free to leave or ignore it or whatever but can we stop flooding the x reader tags with half-baked thinkpieces on why people should or shouldnât do whatever with their writing. every other post is âyou shouldnât romanticize [x]â âyouâre problematic if you do [x]â âstop writing about [x]â â[x] is gross and if you write about it kill yourselfâ how about if you donât like certain content you heed the content warnings, block the tags, donât interact with it, so on and so forth. of course part of our responsibility as writers, especially ones dealing with sensitive topics, is to label and tag our works appropriately but letâs be realâi hardly see any writers (at least within the bsd fandom) who donât make it abundantly clear what they do/do not write about, interact with, or tolerate. wait until you find out how much fucked up shit happens in real life and how much some person on the internet coping with their trauma by writing self insert fanfiction about a cartoon character doesnât fucking correlate to the perpetuation of that fucked up shit at all. it doesnât even have to be that serious. people are going to write and read the content they want and theyâre allowed to and you spilling your complaints all over the x reader tags âto boost attentionâ isnât gonna change that. if you donât like something ignore, unfollow, block, mind your own business. itâs actually super easy
#notice how iâm gonna tag this discourse⌠because thatâs probably an appropriate tag to use#discourse#also these posts are almost always riddled with kys sentiment. like okay what makes you any holier than what youâre criticizing#donât even get me started on the whole fiction inherently affects reality#because of course it does#but it doesnât HAVE to#almost like there might be some nuance#and black and white thinking doesnât really apply to things rooted in the infinite ways human beings can experience things#yall ever heard of writing as an outlet? đ#my detailed descriptions of dazai whacked out of his mind on hard drugs are not manuals for how to live your life btw#cause i guess that needs to be fucking stated#someone having a fucked up kink is not the end of the world. JUST DONT LOOK AT IT!#and if youâre writing dark/sensitive content and not tagging it im squinting real hard at you. tag your shit#tldr tags exist for a reason. use them and use them right? itâs what they were fucking invented for#some of u guys donât pay bills and it shows#reid speaks.á#fanfic discourse
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oh hi. this did not in fact take only an hour to write but hey it's done! any support is so so appreciated <3
also thread of me lowkey liveblogging myself (not) writing this lmaoo
Summary:
A fun little side perk of being a demon is that Crowley only gets to see the world in shades of grey. That is, until that world is touched by one particular angel.
They say that it's not the fall that hurts, it's the landing. That's a partial truth, at least for him. The landing did hurtâhis bones had shattered almost methodically, travelling through his legs and up his spine like a shiver; the whiplash from his head hitting the ground had felt like an explosion of guts in his mouth. But the fall had hurt, too. Because the wind had cut into his useless wings like knives, his skin and grace peeling away under the friction, and he had been looking right up at the multicoloured and unreachable expanse of sky just to see it fade from his eyes into dull greys. And that was that. For the indiscriminate time afterwards, he and all the other demons wandered Hell's corridors like strays, lost and trying to adjust to a new life where hope looked just as bleak as despair. They wore all black, because the identifiability of that darkest shade meant that they wouldn't have to worry about clashing colours. An inconsequential problem, maybe, almost laughable in its insignificance, but it was the one piece of self-dignity they could still control. Back then, that was everything.
eybe surprised me with a drawing based on the holi scene in this fic and i treasure it with all my heart and it captures my mental image of it perfectly. it's included in the fic now too <3 love you eybe
#fearandhatred#fearandfics#fic: sunflower fingerprints#honestly i feel like i could do/have done so much more with this#but i don't wanna overthink it lol i didn't even have the time to write this fic#also one reason this took longer to write was because i did research!! into the hindu festival of colours#i knew about it already and i've always found it magical but i wanted to make sure i got my facts straight before writing about it#i hope i did it justice#honestly a coincidence that i remembered this festival existed while writing this lmao. and it turned out to be so significant to the story#so yay!#oh and if you saw my thread. update i'm not even going for the test lmfaooooo good riddance#good omens#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#good omens fanfiction#good omens fanfic#good omens fic#writing
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d
I donât like bbc
But for some reason the idea of John going for Jim instead of Sherlock is stuck in my mind
what dumb shit would they get into?
what challenges would they face?
and most importantly
would Jim be better at keeping a veteran with ptsd from committing heinous crimes that arenât a part of their scheme?
#sorry but john will always have ptsd in my head#the only reason he enjoys running around in London and solving dangerous crime is because it keeps his mind occupied from the war#plus Sherlock is an asshole throughout the whole series#i want john to be happy calm and safe#for once in his life#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#john watson#jim moriarty#i canât tag this as johnlock because they arenât a couple#theyâre petty ex friends#am i overestimating how john would react to a life of crime? I donât think so#my man was ready to face jail just to shoot someone who couldâve killed his flatmate#also evil john au because that needs to exist#and jim and him are together because i said so#toxic yaoi#fanfiction#maybe#fanfic ideas
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Dear God how I fucking hate when people dismiss s character's traits because "that's just a facade! you as the reader have to see underneath it!!" like yeah no fucking shit Sherlock, a well written character has more than one (1) defining trait but that doesn't mean their most prominent one or the one most recognized by fandom ISN'T there
yes this is about people thinking dick grayson isn't actually a ray of sunshine, that it's just a mask. he's much more than the happy one, of fucking course, all batfam members (when written well) are, but that doesn't mean that being happy and bright is not a crucial part of his personality. he brings light to people's lives, he's a beacon of hope, that's what Robin was born for, as a light to Batman's darkness. That's what Nightwing is. He can be serious, sure. He's smart, an amazing strategist, incredibly good at fighting, he can be manipulative and morally gray and sometimes an objectively bad person. But he's ALSO funny and quippy and bright and sunshine. BECAUSE HE'S WELL WRITTEN.
Like Jesus stop making him so sad and wrong all the time just because you want so bad to go against "fanon". It's not fanon if it's literally his core trait. It's not fanon if it's what the character was BORN AS. God.
#I'm not sure if this even makes sense#it's almost 6am I haven't slept and I just saw someone say he's a manipulative bitch and to stop writing him as a ray of sunshine#and now I'm mad#because this parson had this lukewarm takes with most of the batkids#like yeah I get a lot of damian's traits and back story are deeply rooted in racism#but like he did try to kill tim. and he killed a bunch of people when he first got to Gotham. that's a thing that happened.#and no matter how racist the reason behind that plot line might have been#it's something that happened and choosing to believe it didn't happen because it doesn't fit your preconceived ideas of how#a character should or should not be is just plain stupid#you can explore the character and change their personality and play with them in fanfic sure that's what we all do#but don't pretend that canon doesn't exist. you can choose to utilize it or not but acknowledge it even if it's just to spit in it's face#damian's not tame he's not more chill than his brothers he's not misunderstood#he's a child who had a horribly traumatic childhood and reacts with violence because that's all he knows#Jason's angry and he has every right to be and to say he isn't is to erase an incredibly important part of his character#you don't get to tell a victim how to be a good victim. Jason's a victim.#dc#batman#rambles#batfam#batfamily#dc universe#dc comics#batman and robin#dick grayson#Jason Todd#Damian Wayne#nightwing#red hood#oh look I made a post about dc that is NOT about Tim#wild huh
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black irises in the sunshine (a noir au)
a @tlt-big-resurrection fic! ft. art by @rhywhitefang @nakji and @ellevenstar and cosplay by @abhorsenkatiel!
Nova & Co Private Investigations is the best damn detective agency in all of New Canaanâand strictly a one-woman operation. No one can match Harrowharkâs sleuthing instincts, commitment to uncovering the truth, gritty aesthetic, or willingness to sleep in the office every night. But when Harrow gets shot (again) while working to expose corruption at City Hall, her friend Palamedes goes behind her back to hire her some muscle. The person who shows up on her doorstep is mouthy, annoying as hell, and distractingly attractive: exactly the opposite of what Harrow needs. But when an heiress with a mysterious corpse and a hefty purse takes a liking to her new bodyguard, Harrow is forced to keep Gideon Nav around. The good news: Harrow only has to work with Gideon until sheâs cracked the case. Once sheâs busted this thing wide open, they never have to see each other againâŚ.right?
coming this friday (8/4) to an ao3 near you!
#major major shoutout to @theriverbeyond for betaing and encouraging#they are the reason this fic makes any sense. or exists in the first place!! thx friend!!#is this how you promo post? idk#but yeah! keep an eye peeled for my attempt to channel years of watching poirot and vera into a fanfic#fic tag#griddlehark#TLT BRE#tlt big resurrection event#black irises tag#if you're like why hasn't there been a new illbringthestrap69420 chapter since april. this is why#tltbre#m
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i really enjoy arcane but it makes me look at ajisai and go hmm⌠actually i donât think youâve suffered enough. maybe you should lose your ability to manipulate aether. maybe you and Aymeric fall out of love. maybe i should kill your parents.
And then I go write ten pages of Aymeric and Ajisai waxing poetic about what it means to love and be loved. talking about politics but itâs flirting over pancakes. Ajisai roasting him because sheâs better at math. Aymeric and Ajisai sitting in the Seat of the Lord Commander working on things separately but content to be in the same room!
⨠romance â¨
#jamjar#i think itâs fun that ajisai with haurchefant is reverse romance intimacy where they fuck first and gets to know each other later#but she has a sweet kdrama slowburn with aymeric where they donât kiss until the season finale and sex only exists in fanfic#i have reasons for that but iâm not dumping it all in the tags because iâm sleeebyy
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always thought my maladaptive daydreaming habit was an unhealthy escapism coping mechanism
but autism strikes again!
apparently my particular method of daydreaming was helping me cope with a lot of stuff I was going through and was a very effective version of some kinds of ASD therapies
of course when it starts interrupting my life again it's Not Great and I need to take a look at what's causing me to need the escape (meaning now it's actually become a recognisable warning sign for when I'm overwhelmed), but the habit itself is not inherently bad and apparently even if it impacted my school work when I was in high school it was a very clever way of coping with stress as an undiagnosed autistic with no external support
my psychologist was actually very impressed with some of the daydreams I had been using to cope and how effective they were at processing stress and trauma
so yeah feeling very validated rn
#lula's life#also the daydreaming is the reason most of my fanfic exists#and also most of the content I have ever made on this site#so I'm really happy to learn it was all actually very healthy for the most part#autism#maladaptive daydreaming
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