#familial love? sign me the fuck up
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it’s crazy that rouge straight up said this and people still see her as a mother figure lmaooo
#edit: for the love of god ‘aunt/sister’ is not meaningfully different than mother figure#explain to me how ascribing a woman to a different role in a nuclear family is super subversive actually or shut up. please#rambles#stole a robot for the purpose of creating a perfect thieving tool and ignored every sign of interiority or will he expressed#and ditched him the second it became clear that the situation is more of a pain in the ass than it is a benefit#and said she’d hate to be a mom to said robot#how maternal.#god i fucking love rouge she’s so awesome in this game#such a shame about amy.#battle posting
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(Mostly) Harumi centric doodle page for a friend
#mortal kombat 1#mk1#mortal kombat#harumi shirai#tomas vrbada#mk smoke#kuai liang#mk scorpion#hanzo hasashi#I still don’t know how to feel about her and Kuai Liang#unless nrs releases more content#I dunno I think they have potential to be a cute couple but for now it’s still sus#also! I love to hc that harumi got Tomas to open up to kuai#cause uhhh the Lin Kuei kinda killed his family#so harumi is like ‘ey bro they’re not so bad when you get to know them… except for bi Han… fuck that guy’#bi Han would highkey make a tree house and put up a ‘no girls allowed’ sign and she never forgave him for that#if bi Han ends up being the reason she dies in this timeline it would kinda be funny cause he’d be like ‘I never liked you’#and she’d be like ‘me neither you stupid boy’#and he’s like ‘yknow what this isnt even about kuai liang anymore- screw you’#doodles#my art
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Percy de Rolo and Keyleth of the Air Ashari my beloveds, my dearest companions, my comfort pair, nobody does it like them. They are the basis of what all friendships should be, they are the fucking blueprint, they show how meaningful profound affection in different forms other than romantic is, they are best friends, they are siblings, they are the platonic ideal of platonic ideals, they are soulmates, they have matching earrings, they are both massive nerds, they gift handmade jewellery to each other, they are the exact opposites, they are so similar, they are sunshine and shadow, they are nature and science, they are all the elements of the universe working together, they are creators, they are leaders afraid of their destinies, they care incredibly deeply about everybody around them, they are fuckups, they try to learn and grow, they argue, they fight, they hug and make up and never hold it against one another, they joke and drink and are always there for each other, they have died and been revived and brought each other back from the brink, they have met the gods themselves and still know that the connection between each other is worth more than divinity itself will ever be, they have fought monsters and titans and their greatest fears together and have come out the other side broken and battered but stronger for it, they are brother and sister, they are siblings-in-law, they are the epitome of chosen family on all possible levels, they will live through their lifetimes and legacies, they are love itself.
#can you tell that they're my favourites#i am. in my feels for them#chosen family who didn't grow up together like pike and grog or vex and vax but siblings nonetheless with contrasting aesthetics?#sign me the fuck up#vox machina is just a group of siblings and they all have such amazing relationships but they're all so different and special i just aaaaaaa#dont you get it they're not even friends theyre WORSE THEYRE A FAMILY#SAYS PERCY TO KEYLETH#AAAAAAAJJSJDKFHJSLDJHKSSKJHLSH#back on my bullshit with percy and kiki brainrot but i do not care because i love them#they mean so so SO much to me#very sad we haven't seen them being besties in tlovm#but here's hoping they'll maybe build that up in s3? who knows#critical role#cr1#vox machina#percy and kiki#percy de rolo#keyleth#percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo iii#keyleth of the air ashari#andis thought geyser
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Modern Inheritance: Over the Edge (Pre-war)
(A/N: WIP title. It's not really abuse, but wanna say that there's a very very brief moment of rough-handling of a kid. No hitting, only a brief shake to a kid the size of, let's say a 7-8 year old human. Also, we get to see Islanzadí for the first time in pre-war, with this taking place probably a month or two before The Promise and Arya's oath with Brom. She's struggling with the turmoil after the Fall, the loss of Evandar and not really having the time to mourn him due to the sudden rush of responsibility and new duties {that sounds like a theme for this bloodline huh} and she is barely keeping her head above water. Because of that, she tries to tell herself that it's okay to focus solely on her duties as queen, because, through trickle down and big picture, her doing well as queen keeps Arya safe from Galbatorix and the Forsworn. That's what she tells herself. If she believes it is up to you as the reader at this point.)
~~~~~~
MODERN INHERITANCE: OVER THE EDGE
Out of nowhere the door to the queen’s study slammed open with a horrendous bang. Däthedr, Fiolr and Islanzadí all jumped as one.
“What is the meaning of this int–” Islanzadí’s thunderous voice was immediately silenced by the equally stormy eyes that snapped to her. Despite his frail nature, Oromis’ presence filled the doorway, looming over them like a threatening anvil cloud.
“Leave us.” The Rider’s voice held unmistakable steel. The two elf lords flicked their gazes to the queen, unsure of who was in control. Slighting one would be dangerous, though which was more threatening at the time was yet to be decided. “Leave!���
A great rumble shook the roots arrayed beneath their feet and a massive golden eye suddenly glinted outside the window overlooking the courtyard.
Däthedr and Fiolr were out of their seats and bowed just low enough to show apologetic respect before they fled, kicking up moss in their haste.
Silence but for the soft whooshing of Glaedr’s great lungs outside the walls filled the room.
Islanzadí slowly settled back into her chair. “Can I help you, Oromis-elda?” The brittleness that accompanied her clenched teeth and the hard line of her shoulders was not masked in the slightest. Islanzadí was livid at the intrusion and far beyond angry at the subversion of her authority, in front of her advisor no less!
“Do you have any,” Oromis paused to collect himself. His own rage was very close to boiling over. “Any inkling of just where your daughter is?”
The queen blinked. Arya? When was the last time she had seen her? Surely not that long ago. Breakfast, probably, scampering out the door. Or did she see her in the Menoa tree while on a walk? No, that was yesterday, she had a meeting with the Council after that, so it had to be yesterday.
A heavy stone of guilt dropped into Islanzadí’s stomach. Could she really not tell him when she last saw her own child? The days had been going by in a whirlwind, filled with meetings pushing for more resources for the border, more spellcasters to maintain the barriers, power struggles in Ceris–
Islanzadí had no earthly idea where her own daughter was.
“I…”
Oromis reached behind him and marched into the room. “Spare me the attempt, Islanzadí.”
A small yelp of indignation followed him, or rather, was dragged alongside him. Arya let out a half feral yowl at the Dragon Rider pulling her by one gangly arm, silverskin glowing a muted flush of pink anger at her cheeks at the unintentional roughness.
The elfling’s hair was wild, though that was nothing new. Her braid was half undone, the tie at the base loosened. Knees scuffed, elbows bruised, knuckles scraped, pine needles stuck to her clothing with sap. Yes, that was her Arya, scowling up at her from where Oromis had planted the child in front of him with his hands on her shoulders.
“Tell your mother.”
Arya’s scowl deepened. Stars. She looked so much like Evandar during combat when she did that. Her brows met with the same lightning pattern, jet streaks of midnight above endless emerald green. “Nothing happened.”
Another growl rattled the window hard enough to send it gliding inwards on hidden hinges. Glaedr snapped his massive jaws, a sharp crack loud enough to make the gathered elves flinch. Outside, a trio of pines juddered from the impact of his tail before he subdued the lashing.
‘Hatchling!’ His voice was thunderous in their minds. At the dragon’s mental touch Islanzadí felt the sensation of wind pushing against her body, a momentary inkling of confusion, then a fear of failure, fear of the outcome, and then…relief. And rage. ‘We have warned you!’
Against all odds, Arya snapped her own teeth, a defiant snarl rattling her thin chest. “I’m not scared of you, Glaedr!”
The golden dragon audibly balked. That stung more than he cared to admit. Especially coming from one so small.
“What is this about?” Islanzadí snapped. That surge of fear felt through Glaedr’s memories twisted her stomach into knots. Besides the usual scrapes, though, Arya seemed unharmed. “I have work to do. You interrupted a meeting that was planned weeks in advance!”
Outside, Glaedr shifted.
Arya bared her teeth. With a hollow mental wave of her hand to put it aside for later thought, Islanzadí noticed the girl’s canines had fallen out. When had that happened? Not too recently, it seemed. The tips of wickedly sharp ancestral teeth were already poking through, giving the child an almost comical appearance with both top canines barely coming in while the lower set were nearly level with her incisors.
Oromis’ eyes flashed at Islanzadí’s words. His grip on Arya’s shoulders tightened. “We found your daughter after she leapt off the Crags, Islanzadí.”
Islanzadí’s heart dropped, the wind knocked from her lungs. “What?”
‘We were flying and caught the hatchling after she jumped off the Crags of Tel’naeír.’
Arya…jumped from the cliffs?
Islanzadí was around the desk in an instant and seized her only child by the arms. “What were you thinking?” There was only panic thudding in her chest, the image of a small body crumpled in the beds of pine needles flashing to her mind. “Have you gone mad?! Answer me!”
“Islanzadí!” Oromis’ bark was sharp and swift. It was only when Arya stifled a squeak did Islanzadí realize she was shaking her.
The queen released the elfling as if stung, hands hovering an inch away from the pink blotches blooming on silvered skin. “Arya…?”
Arya lifted her gaze from where she had dropped it to the ground.
Was…was that fire in her eyes?
Defiant but calm. Determined. The lanky child squared her shoulders as best she could under Oromis’ grip and met her mother’s conflicted storm of golden lightning and locked them eye to eye.
Arya’s voice was soft, deadpan. “I wanted to fly.”
Fly. Said as if it were entirely normal for elf children to take to the skies after a quick breakfast. Islanzadí stared at her child, unsure if this was some sort of elaborate ruse to hide a darker motive, some childish cry for help, or if her daughter genuinely had planned to leap off a thousand foot cliff and sprout wings.
The queen closed her mouth, suddenly aware that her jaw was hanging open a good half inch in dumbfounded bewilderment.
“...Fly?”
Arya nodded. Never broke eye contact. Never changed her expression. “I wanted to test the spells I made. The Crags are the highest and clearest launch point.”
A dull headache began to throb behind Islanzadí’s forehead.
Why? Why did it always have to be her child. Couldn’t she find something normal to do? Couldn’t she see that Islanzadí was struggling to keep the entire elven nation together just over a handful of years after the Fall? Arya was known to be remarkably observant but how could she not understand, after her father–
The fear for her safety was quickly turning to white hot anger at the center of Islanzadí’s chest. Of all the foolish things….
The queen inhaled and held her breath for a long moment before letting it out in a tight huff. “Arya. You are far too old to be pretending you can fly, and far too young to be meddling with experimental magic!” Arya opened her mouth but Islanzadí cut her off. “No. Enough of this. You know how important the meetings today are.” Islanzadí rose from her kneeling position and knocked the knees of her dress free of dirt. “You and I will discuss this at length in the evening. Now go to your quarters.”
Again, Arya tried to speak. She even took half a step forward, something flashing and flaring bright in her emerald eyes. “I–”
“Enough!” Unmistakable. The voice she used in court. Commanding. The voice of a queen. “To your quarters!” Islanzadí threw an arm in the direction of the door, pointing sharply. “Now!”
The elfling’s mouth snapped shut, jaw clenched.
Islanzadí couldn’t tell if it was horror, pain, or anger that surged to her throat when her daughter straightened into a smart attention, knocked her knuckles to a disheveled shoulder as she had seen countless times before, and bowed.
“As you wish, my queen.”
Hollow, detached. Quietly and barely masking the seething underneath it all.
Arya was at the door when Oromis called out. “Arya.” She turned to him, never once looking back to her mother. “Lessons early tomorrow. Bring your books and your training blade.”
“Yes, ebrithil.” The murmur held more respect than anything she had said to Islanzadí. “I will be there.”
Once the door was closed, Islanzadí took a moment to rub her temples and just breathe. She could still feel Oromis staring at her, anger not yet gone, thunder still in his eyes.
“What?” She didn’t mean to snap. She bit her tongue. The Dragon Rider merely shook his head. “Speak, Oromis! I do not have time for games! I have two more meetings, not counting the one you interrupted, and I have a stack of reports on attempted border incursions by Wyrdfell waiting for me.”
“You don’t have time?” The words stung hard against Islanzadí’s ears with flabbergasted accusations. Oromis must indeed be outraged if he was acting this emotional with her. “You do not have time for your own daughter?”
The queen whirled back to her desk and stalked around it. “My daughter should know better than to jump off cliffs and think she will fly!” She shoved a stack of papers to the side roughly and sat. “She knows how important these weeks are. Arya is capable, she should be able to take care of herself.”
“That is not the matter at all, and you know this!” Oromis followed her, bracing slim hands on the back of one of the chairs. “Islanzadí, Arya is hurting! She is still trying to come to terms with Evandar’s death–”
“Get out.”
“Islanzadí–”
“Get out! You will not lecture me on how to raise my child by invoking the name of my dead mate!”
For the first, and quite nearly the only time, Islanzadí witnessed Oromis Thrándurin in a true, uncontained rage.
The unmistakable rumble of dragonfire swelled in the crippled Rider’s chest. Islanzadí shrank back instinctively as the elf seemed to grow before her, white teeth flashing, fingers cracking through the chair’s wood as if pierced by ivory claws.
Oromis’ voice was harsh with crackling flame, roaring at her above the din. “Then raise your child, Islanzadí Dröttning!” His thin chest heaved, as if the effort of holding back true fire taxed him to the limit. “Arya needs her mother. Not a queen. Go to her. She is a child! She only wants to be held by her mother and told that it will all be alright while the world is falling apart!”
The words had Islanzadí shooting to her feet yet again. “Yes! The world is falling apart! And right now, the only thing keeping us safe are magic barriers, far too few uninjured spellcasters, a handful of cities lending all the strength they can to fortify them, and spells that are millenia old and in desperate need of repair!” The queen threw an arm out, gesturing to the expanse of Du Weldenvarden mapped out on the wall of pine. “Everyone is hurting! And I am the queen of an entire race that is hurting! I do not have time to lie to my daughter that everything will be fine when we cannot know for sure! My time is spent endlessly fortifying our defenses, trying to make sure we last to the end of the month in case Galbatorix decides to send his entire collection of Wyrdfell to sweep the forest with dragonfire! Time not spent with her is time spent keeping her alive!
“Arya will just have to learn how to live with some sacrifices. I will not hold her hand when it means the possibility of losing this entire nation.”
Oromis once again looked every year his age.
“Are you finished?” He asked softly.
The queen lowered herself into her chair, hands shaking. “Get out. And take Glaedr with you.”
Oromis again shook his head, as if in sad disappointment. “You will lose her if you continue like this, Islanzadí.”
Islanzadí did not look up from the piles of reports on her desk.
When the door finally clicked closed behind him, the queen of the elves buried her face in her hands, and cried.
Oromis was not halfway down the hall when the soft sound of sniffling caught his attention. A small droplet splashed on the back of his hand, warm like a spring rain in the dead of winter.
He looked up. “Oh, little hatchling. Come down from there.” He gave a small, sad smile. “Please?”
Another quiet sniffle, the rustle of woven pine boughs, and the lanky elfling dropped from one of the skylights in the hall’s ceiling. Arya wiped her nose on the back of her arm, scrubbed at her eyes with the heels of her palms and stifled a hiccup before squaring her shoulders as she had earlier.
“Arya. Were you listening?”
She nodded. Blinked.
“Oh, little hatchling. I’m so sorry you heard that.” Her eyes shone with tears when she met his gaze, throat convulsing as she swallowed another stuttered gasp of misery. Oromis opened his arms, chest aching. “None of that, now, Arya. It is okay to cry.”
Arya sniffed again. “F…fighters don’t cry.”
“My dear girl, everyone cries.” But she was already in his arms, face pressed to his ribs and eyes squeezed shut.
He let her sob out her frustration and pain there in the hall, tucked into his embrace and in a little sheltered bubble of silence where no one would be able to hear her tears. She pulled away when she was done, rubbing at her face, trying to hide the evidence again as the two of them retrieved her training blade and books before beginning the long walk to the Crags. She would sleep under the stars there, an unspoken agreement forged by the many times Glaedr had awoken to the elfling tucked against his paw, or curled under the roots of a tree at the edge of their cliffside dwelling.
“I’m…” Oromis flicked his gaze to the child at his side. Arya heaved a few deep breaths, forcing herself to calm fully. “I’m going to fix it.”
“Fix what, little hatchling?”
“The world.” Arya nodded in affirmation to herself. The Rider at her side couldn’t help the small grin that tilted his lips. Leave it to the youth to declare such things with so much confidence. “I’m going to fix the world. Then Mum won’t have to work so hard, and you and Glaedr won’t be so sad all the time.”
The matter of fact mentioning of his and Glaedr’s pain hit like a stone loosed from a sling. He pushed it back, did his best to keep the soft smile on his face. “Do you have a plan for this?”
“Yeah.”
Oromis nearly missed a step when he glanced down. Arya’s face had transformed from the light frown to a near frighteningly wild smile, teeth bared in fierce determination. Her eyes were alight with brilliant fire, brows lowered in challenge.
“I’m gonna fight.”
~~~~~~~~
#eragon#inheritance cycle#the cyclists#the world of eragon#the inheritance cycle#modern inheritance#modern inheritance stories#ket's modern inheritance cycle#arya#arya drottningu#islanzadi#islanzadí#queen islanzadí#queen islanzadi#dysfunctional family#oromis#glaedr#pre war#pre eragon#when i was 3 i jumped off our king size bed and shattered my elbow into a zillion pieces#i loved peter pan and told anyone who asked what happened that i tried to fly#in retrospect i was actually just jumping on the bed and missed like a fool#but i did always want to fly#title is a wip#we are making it better for the next generation! they're fucked up! the next generation: okay i'll do it myself#iz: IM DOING THIS SO SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO TO WAR!#arya: o shit thats an option? sign me up! it sucks here!#iz: FUCK!#do i capitalize queen i can never remember
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Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about
#do NOT quote me on those numbers i pulled them straight out of my ass#like the ending was rushed and the diamonds didnt get to be fully developed but liek#the whole reason that was the case is there was an entire 6th season planned#and then the show got axed early because rebecca sugar and crew refused the back down on the rupphire wedding.#and even rushedness aside like the point of the show was never that you should hug fascists and forgive people no matter what#the diamond were rose's (and his) dysfunctional family whose personal suffering became the basis for the cruelty of gem society#bismuth in The Real World would have been right to want to kill the diamonds as a force of revolution#but the point of the show is that even the most complicated people are still people who can change. even if you dont forgive them#even steven quartz universe the most loving boy in the world very obviously does not like being around the diamonds. but that is how it is#it was a children's show that emphasized compassion and communication and family as themes. of course steven didnt kill the diamonds lol#i really fully believe the stevenbomb format (which was not the crew's choice or fault) cooked peoples' brains#you had months between major arcs so every wrongdoing by a character had months to be warped and misinterpreted and so no resolution could#ever satisfy fans who were festering with their own opinions for way too long#like these arcs looking back are not that long and they resolve in fairly reasonable manners but they took fuckin forever in real time to#wrap up#and ppl on the internet with no other hobbies than arguing made the fandom suck to be in and gave su a bad name#even if you dont like steven universe i think the amount of vitriol thrown at the show is/was fucking INSANE for what it is lmaooo#people were so so jolly to accuse rebecca sugar (a jewish lady) of being a fascist/fash sympathizer and paint every writing shortcoming or#morally dubious character action as a sign of pure fuckin evil#ok that was a long ass fuckin rant in the tags i am so sorry i'm just kind of opinionated on this matter as i am all matters#i've been rewatching su with my dad lately and this very normal and well paced and fun watchthrough experience has been illuminating#just how insane and uncalled for the hellish discourse sphere around su was/is#i say was/is i have no idea what su discourse is like nowadays. i'm too scareds to look in the su crit tag
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think it’s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo … unwell. wasn’t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time we’d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didn’t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didn’t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause she’d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether she’s there or not#she said ‘yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too 😎’ she used that fucking emoji#and I haven’t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’#it isn’t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I haven’t even written about my family issues (im#out and they’re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi 👋 hope you are having a lovely day#don’t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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Hands of hips looking down shaking my head I don't know how to sugarcoat this so I won't but signs is so much better than nope. I don't know how people even say the movie aged bad. I think the feelings they have for the director cloud their view (I don't even know how either of his names). You got a 1:30hs movie vs a 2hs movie (I'm cutting the 10 minutes of credit for both) where in one you are never bored and are gripped by emotions and the other where you sit waiting for anything to happen. Like I'm sorry but there's no fight here. Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby.
#luly talks#like i never questioned a thing ppl did during i got dizzy#holy fuck#um. fuck was i saying thst was a lot um#ah yeah. no aside from jupe everyone else is weak as fuck in nope writing wise. when angel was almodt getting killed i was there like 😐#while i went thru a whole back and froth w Merrill from hating to loving him#signs has a lot of soul. AND A SOLID FUCKING MESSAGE. UNLIKE SOMEONEEE TELLING YOU TO KILL ONE OF A KID NON INVASIVE SPECIES#I'M SO MAD ABOUT WHAT THEY DID TO MY GIRL#AT LEAST THE ONE ALIEN THEY KILLED IN SIGNS WAS LIKE. *ONE*.#the rest of his kind just fucked off and also he was a PETTY ASSHOLE#so you know it's justified. bc whah they did in nope wasn't#im so mad i dont wanna be mad i wanna be happy thinking of a family who is shown to deeply love each other#nope wishes.#also the later has nothing scary at all like. it's a bit uncomfortable but 2002 alien man had me jumping in place screaming man.#saw a shadow outside its the fucking birthday alien coming to. touch my neck with his fingers or something.#last time this happened was when i watched the first evil desf#and before that it was the second coming#thah one fucked me up good#the bigger public is just wrong about horror movies but i get it. i get it like no one gets it.
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#I used to write (as in - complain) about work here a lot#so it only feels right to document that today I did the thing that lovely people here as well as my family and friends have told me to do#countless times#... I went to the doctor and got signed off from work for two weeks#I did it#can't quite believe it#i'm going to work tomorrow so that I can set my team up for my absence and not just abandon them#and then i will just...not work for two weeks#and try to regain my health#stop coughing#finally go to the physio for my wonky arm that only doesn't hurt when it's in 'desk position'#and sleep and think and not think#i've been so much more stressed and ill at other times over the years#too stressed and ill to do what i needed to do#it weirdly 'helps' that my entire industry is on fire and there's absolutely nothing I can do to control it or to stave off the bombshells#so... FUCK IT!
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I love love love drawing but I cannot draw poses in any circumstances
#anyway the Saint Bernard pmv is still a thing#STILL FIGURING OUT EACH FRAME SO I AIN'T SHARING SHIT BUT#I'm just at the “to remind me that I am a fool” part#which sounds bad bc that's literally the second line BUT. I figured out where all the pictures and posters go#so there's that#I have to draw Tobias in the mirror now as he grows up and I'm. SUFFERING#and then I gotta decide if “tell me where I came from” is a birds view of the town or like. the highway with the sign that says “Welcome to#“how I will always be/just a spoiled little kid” would be like him standing at the bridge and turning into a kid#“who went to catholic school” is the corrupted club (no fucking idea how you call the building in English so. club.)#the beat of silence is a stone falling into the river#“when I am dead I won't join” showing characters at their funeral the“join” beat showing Thea and his brother's family#and then on “their ranks” it shows like. “ghosts” of Thea's family (Thea as a child. Thea's dead brother. and Thea's dad in cuffs)#“cause they're both” side by side Iván and Thea “holy” Thea “and free” Iván#“and I'm in Ohio” Tobías family. his aunt and father. his aunt is staring emptily and his dad looks annoyed/disgusted#“satanic” his father “and chained up” his aunt#“and until the end/that's how it'll be” I have no fucking idea lol#“I said make me love myself/So that I might love you/etcetc” Tobías and Iván stuff Idk#“Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you” Thea's (alive) brother talking to Tobías before he leaves town#“but he's got his own things to deal with” show's her brother's wife and child behind them in the doorway#“there's really just one thing that we have in common/neither of us will be missed” Tobias and thea blabla symbolism#the silent beat after that is two stones in the river#I have no fucking idea what to do at the end tho#modern prophets#CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TAG THAT
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only thing keeping me alive right now<3333
#lets hear it for family vacation#gotta love road trips#/s if that wasnt evident#stuck in a car with the person who stresses me out more than anything?#six hour drive away from any of the things keeping me sane?#barely able to get any time alone so i can attempt to calm down after having to be socially active all day?#all for a week and a half?#sign me up#woohoo and so forth#im sure this will have zero negative effects on me#anyways it actually almost comedic seeinf how much everyone fucking hates each other#like girl why are we here i know so damn well you did not wanna see these people#even just within my immediate family no one likes each other#and or course i get to watch everyone dance around each other pretending to be nice#and then immediately talking with someone else about how they hate the other#no one is having a good time i do not know why we're here#yippeeee
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cw post / tags. sorry
i don't even know if i have the words
to express this
she's gone
and its all my fault
#~ . 🥀#half my brain wants to scream to cry to do something#the other half wants to lie here forever and wait til i go numb#im in such a state of shock rn i .m gonna throw up#for context#2 hours ago as of writing this i received news that a loved one committed suicide#i was one of the only people that knew she was severely depressed / suicidal i shouldve seen the signs#i shouldve helped her more or called her or told someone#i was a coward. i couldn't.#and because i willingly did nothing to stop someone from dying#i am compliant. therefore . its my fault shes dead#.#this isnt some story where you can rewrite the ending#this is real life#and now i watched someone i love die and will have to live with the guilt of knowing i couldve done something but chose not to#the worst type of person.#i didnt deserve to be friends with someone like her.#no one did. she was smart and witty and oh so stubborn (affectionate)#we both loved the same bands. i don't know if i can ever listen to those bands the same way again#god i cant think#im actually gonna throw up#this is the 2nd time in my life something like this has happened. 3rd if you count all COD not just suicide#knowing something is wrong with a loved one but being too much of a wuss to tell anyone or help them or do anything useful#god im fucking worthless#my friends and family will vent to me and share their problems with me and ill say i care and tell myself i care#but givenmy behavior i don't think i can ever say i can#idoly standing by while people i love suffer#fuckin pathetic#this was a deliberate choice i made. this is all my fault#this is all my fault
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This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier
Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags
#blah#the 45 years is a guesstimation of julias age w her being in her late 40s#bc she has a middle school aged daughter which would make you lean a bit younger but shes also highly respected prof at harvard (is she the#dept head? i think so. and has a career that would suggest older. and shes also drawn middle aged so 🤷♀️#i would say late 40s early 50s for her honestly. but i moved it down a lil bit bc of vanessas age#wait shit i may have contradicted logic here bc wasnt the diana trevor stuff supposed to have happened before dianas birth. and that was#wwii. which would be btwn 42 and 45 years. BC PÉREZ!TREVOR IS OLD I FORGOT THAT#okay so actually there still could be a question of what happened first the timeline would just be much shorter#but then wouldnt julias family be boating during wwii? that makes no sense#im definitely thinkimg too hard about this probably. logically it would make the most sense if diana was like 20smth in reality. but thats#its own basket of worms honestly. like what do you mean hippolyta only had like 20 yrs w her daughter out of a lifespan of thousands of#years. what do you MEAN she became champion and ambassador so young like#like also thats the point though. she had to wear a mask in the challenge for a reason. her inexperience with men is what makes her the kind#of ambassador they need. and her youth and relation to hippolyta and role as the baby of the amazons is one of the things that makes her#ambassadorship SO important is bc she fulfills that role in an ancient sense. where it would be a sign of great trust and respect to send#someone close to the crown as an envoy bc it shows you mean business and arent going to reneg on whatever the deal is. bc if you do they#shoot the messenger#god anyways i very much answered my own question here in the tags like 100%. esp in regards to the pérez canon bc he very much laid this out#and i was trying to weasel my way out of it. only that didnt work and the decisions he made he made for a reason and they have huge#narrative importance. damn. okay then#i always write the shittiest posts and the best tags and then have to keep the post to keep the tags#i rlly need to make these tags posts ugh. anyways keeping this up bc of my tags abt diana and ambassadorship#also sidenote I LOVE HIPPOLYTA#just though id mention that. i love how much shes motivated by love and i also love when she makes fucked up decisions bc of that and has to#live with them. woman of all time FOR REALS#god this is making me want to reread historia again lol bc its the one ww comic i own. also its fire. and hippolyta gets to make shitty#decisions motivated by emotion and live w the consequences. and the comic is actually good unlike when that happened in the messner-loebs#run. which was the other instance of that ive read rlly. 10000% sure there are others but i havent fully gotten there yet.#i mean ive read other comics where she makes painful decisions thats like her whole deal but there are different vibes to those than the two#i mentioned. like the exile thing in ww year 1 or rlly anytime she has to send diana away
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god. Seeing photos of myself these days makes me wanna die.
i need to see a skin specialist to give me something I can use to get this redness under control because it is severely destroying what little self confidence I had left lmfao
#I could live with it if it was just in the cheeks#but it’s how red my nose gets that makes me want to rip my whole face off#that’s what I get for being white and Scottish I guess#no-one else in my family has it like I do tho. I mean everyone has the rosy cheeks but in a charming kind of Santa Claus way#but I look perpetually like I’ve been sunburnt with goggles on#they tried antibiotics when I went before but it did absolutely nothing#so I’ve got another appointment coming up on my birthday#and I just know I’m going to burst out crying over how awful this stupid face makes me feel#I already cut out spicier foods which is so fucking shit bc I love spicy foods#but if it’s stress that keeps this flaring up constantly then I’m fucked#bc the stress in my life isn’t going to go away#I’ve looked into some other things other people swore helped them so I’ve started that in the meantime#but these things apparently took weeks/months to actually show signs of improvement#so regardless it’s a waiting game where in the meantime I just feel So Awful
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For my English course this year I wrote an essay on the debate of fine art vs contemporary art and I haven't reread it since I sent it in I wanna see if I can find this shit cause I have no clue what I ended up stating as my opinion
#it was crazy how many people i mentioned it to immediately started shitting on contemporary art#like id explain what i meant by fine and contemporary art and the majority of people would instantly talk about how ridiculous#they thought contemporary art was and how it wasnt real art and shit#my english teacher told me i actually changed his mind about the subject and like ultimately all i did was fairly compare the two#i didnt favour either one i gave them both pretty much equal time i think lots of people just havent actually considered contemporary art#at any length before yk they just go well this is art cause its pretty and theyve painted a thing and i know what it is#and this is pretentious bullshit because i dont think its pretty and i cant tell what its supposed to be by looking at it#i went to a modern art museum recently with my family and there wasthis one exhibition that was an indoor garden thing#and they all kinda went whats the point of that its just plants it doesnt even make a picture and moved on pretty fast#but all the plants had little signs next to them explaining what they were and why they were significant and oh my god#it had a kind of motif of the hanging gardens of babylon but it was mostly about war specifically palestine and the effects the war has had#fuck man. i spent a solid hour in there that shit really fucked me up. i love art.#there was another room filled with traditional south american stuff i think it was?#there was this fascinating film and all these coolpaintings and models but there was also a tiny little boom you could read#and it was of mayan love charms and holy shit Tumblr wouldve loved those i think i have a picture of my favourite page#it was like 'i want to join myself to him. i want this man to be my other half'#mmmm. anyway#tag essay#i love love love talking about art i could sit and talk about art for literally hours#wet floor sign
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fuck waiting until friday to get my cardio appointment actually
#that's fucking it tomorrow is exactly a month since I've had this I'm going to the fucking hospital#I didn't know heart attacks aren't all sudden and sometimes have weeks of ongoing signs beforehand fuck that#I can't eat I'm too busy crying not entirely out of physical pain but also I never felt so lightheaded while crying this little#I hate my parents I hate how they believe family is the most important thing in the world but if I'm scared I'm just supposed to deal with#it on my own because they'll never bother to understand me I hate that I'm alone if my roomie was already back#she'd have helped me go the first night I felt something wrong#why do I always have to do everything I'm so tired#i love alexythymia i love so much neglect growing up that I can't understand my needs physical or emocional and just have to endure it#I love you dead is the new alive that started playing on the other room rn really comforting#delete later
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"Rick is the better scientist!" "actually, Reagan is the better scientist because-!!" shut up shut up shut up we all know the best fictional scientist is ALPHYS from UNDERTALE
#jeremy hater moment#hate hate HATE looking up reagan on anything and seeing her compared to rick like leave my girl alone !!!#STOP BASHING HER!!!#istg anytime i see rick and reagan in the same post i'll think ''god help me''. this is making me hate r&m fans so bad#where was i. oh yeah#in comparison to both of these characters i personally think alphys comes out on top both in a better written and better story arc stance#like don't get me wrong!! i love reagan!! but alphys will always be first in my heart#alphys is an amazing example of the ''good person who's done bad things and has to live with themselves'' character archetype-#what with the amalgamates and locking them away and hiring mettaton to stage stuff for the human just so alphys could be apart of it all-#and her arc about forgiving herself and finally giving the families closure and bringing their relatives back home and confessing-#what she had done and just. overall- everything about her story and her time interacting with frisk and undyne and everyone-#it's amazing how toby fox created this- this AMAZING little dino gal and wrote her with so much love and. just. AH!!!#alphys is. an amazing character. and i wouldn't have had her story go any other way.#(also if any of the details here are inaccurate please be nice 😭 i haven't replayed undertale in fuck knows how long)#like i said i think she comes out on top for any fictional (mad?) scientist in any media tbh. she's so sillay ♡#(sorry to reagan. even if i love her character and overall just. her in general i'm giving alphys this one. she's the og 💥‼)#one last thing: outside of everything i've mentioned alphys is just SUCH a charming character overall !#alphys appreciation club 4eva *peace sign*#(also i think reagan and alphys should meet and become friends right... neow!!)#(should i tag rick and reagan??? i'll tag em for organizational purposes)#reagan ridley#rick sanchez#tw rick and morty#<- for blacklist#inside job netflix#im not tagging r&m LOL#alphys undertale#undertale#dr alphys#this is ok to reblog by the way
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