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popculturebuffet · 4 months ago

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X-Month: X-Men Blue Origins: Kurt has Two Mommies (Patreon Review for Brotoman.EXE)

Hello all you happy muties and welcome back to Mutant Month! And it wouldn't be mutant month without a look at the Krakoan age, the previous era of x-men that sadly just ended.

So quick recap: Krakoa was a living island the x-men lived on for the past 5 years, an island nation that offered them peace, security and immortality. This sadly could not last as status quos in comics do not last nor do dreams: So late last year at the third hellfire gala all hell broke loose: Orchis, a secret shadowy enclave of humans being manipulated by robots for their own ends, launched an attack, poinsing the life saving drugs krakoa had used to barter and killing everyone present at the gala who wasn't a mutant to frame them, while then tricking charles xavier into making everyone walk into a portal.. that lead to some limbo dimension instead.

The X-Men and associates resisted thanks to something Xavier had taught and passed on, something Al Ewing had came up with in his run on New Avengers and brought with him when he came onto the x-side of things, the red triangle protocol. Basically you focus on a red triangle to block out a psycic attack. SO the x-men and allies they presumibly taught it too resisted and went underground.

So the x-men were scattered to the winds leading to a bunch of mini series leading into the end of the era. And one of those is one of the most delightfully batshit and brilliant ideas of the krakoan age: The Uncanny Spider-Man. Ladies, gentlemen, and my nonbinary folks... Kurt Wagner.. was spider-man.

Uncanny Spider-Man was the third and final part of Simon Spurrier's trilogy of x-men books. Spurrier had previously worked on the awesome and underated X-Men Legacy, following Xavier's son legoin in the wake of Charles death and fleshing out Legion tremendously.

So unsuprisingly while Kurt was the main character of this , trying to find a spirtual way forward for a mutantkind that had put a stopper in death, Legion was the deutragonist, following kurt every step of the way and helping him found their own religion/way of life, the legion of x. This eventually collapsed thanks to david having to take his girlfriend and leave reality to escape a witch after his soul, while Orchis made Kurt into a monster man that killed people and not taking that well being who he is, Kurt vanished.

So he became a spider-man. It was with Peter's full approval, as Kurt needed to hide and like any good spider-man Kurt swung around, had fun and dodged his problems till they came down on him.

And during all of this, dodging his angst, dating silver sable, and other stuff.. Mystique came back, having escaped the gala but in a barely coherent state. And it's here our story picks up.

X-Men Origins Blue is a one shot taking place during uncanny, with the comic itself pointing out exactly where. And as the title suggests it gives the REAL origin of nightcrawler... or rather his birth.

Nightcrawlers origins are a complex topic I don't know enough about, but Chris Claremont's intent for them was made clear the second he brought Mystique over from Ms Marvel to the X-Men comics with days of future past: Kurt noted they looked similar.. and she brushed it off.

Then.. this wasn't adressed for some time until his excalibur run from what I could dig up (and parts I hadn't gotten to) where it was finally confirmed. So far so simple. Thing was Chris.. intended for Mystique to be not his mom.. but his biological father.

See Chris was progressive for his time when it came to queer characters, having a LOT of friendships that had sapphic overtones. It never felt like he was intentionally queerbaiting, merely that he coudln't do anything because JIm Shooter was gay. And while some you could debate he made his otp obvius: Mystique, mistress of shapeshifting and her lover, friend and confidant Destiny, a precog. He did everything he could to make it clear these two were a thing.

So it's not a suprise his plan was to have Myistque shapeshift into a man to impregnante Irene. Granted the time scale given her age dosen't completely add up, but honestly the idea is so audacious and brilliant i'm willing to ignore it. People saying "Well irene was too old" clearly forget this universe is fucking weird and that, as many on reddit pointed out, they knew sinister.

It's even less suprising Edittorial said fuck no because gays, and tried to give Mystique a case of the not gays forgetting.. she's bisexual. Even Claremont had that in mind as when Destiny was dying she left Mystique in forge's care having a vision of them together. He also wrote Kitty Pryde as bisexual and that later became canon.

So time passed and as far as I can tell there wasn't a clear winner for Kurt's dad. So enter Chuck Austen. For those of you who are bilsfully unaware of this guys existance and thus didn't want to reflexively go numb with terror at the mention of his name, a primer: Chuck Austen wrote Uncanny X-Men during Grant Morrison's legendary run on New X-Men and proceded to write the worst run in x-men history. That's not hyperbole and having recently read most of the 90's x-men comics to filll that gap in my history, it's not a high bar to clear.

Austen's run includes: A plot by the anti mutant church of humanity to install nightcrawler as pope then fake the rapture, mutanting Juggernaughts hetero lifemate black tom into a plant monster they only stopped by having leftover member from the previous run stacey x use her phermone powers to get him horned up, angel getting healing blood and being made a literal angel, angel's healing blood making him immune to aids which is brought up for no specific reason, Angel having aerial sex with a minor right above her poor mother, and Havok's relationship with Polaris being broken up because a nurse's psycic son got the two together while Havok was in a coma.

I.. I wish i'd made all of this up but no. He also killed off two beloved gen x characters, Skin and Synch, for no adquate reason. This isn't as wacky as the rest of that, but it's still a noticable fuck you. How he got away with this while Grant Morrison was chased out I don't know. I just.. don't know

SO you may be asking/dreading "What.. what else did he do to kurt?" and the answer? He took a mutnat famed for being one of the most kind , loving beings in the marvel universe who just so happened to look like a demon.. and made him half demon. He introduced Kurt's father Azazel who you may remember from First Class where he wasn't a demon nor kurt's dad. Both improvments. Yeah so we got a whole story I haven't forced myself ot read yet that spits on the characters concept and generally sounds awful and like a bargin bin version of Raven's arc from New Teen TItnas

Azazel was largely ignored for good damn reason till Jason Aaron brought him back and decided since he for whatever reason couldn't retcon him out to make the best of a bad situation: he made Azazel into a pirate who was stealing souls from heaven, forcing Kurt to summon his friends as a crew to have a pirate fight with his dad. I swear to god this will be covered some pirate month.

This helped a little but Aaron leaving the x-side of things and no one wanting to touch this left Azazel in the wind. So with the x-men at their peak and Myistque and Destiny at the center of things after she finally brought the latter back, the time seemed right ot finally fix this. So the question is simple: how do you fix the origin to it's original form while accounting for the demon man retcon and the baron introduced Mystique cucked. The answer is convoluted, fun and mildly beautiful and it's under the cut

We begin with atiny gremlin resembling an albino nightcrawler recapping where we're at up to this point, which i've already covered. The little guy is kurt's tiny friend that talks to him during his solo and narrates the recap for us. I'll also let him explain who he is

Fair enough. I also love the tone our little narrator keeps. Winking and nodding to the fact that while part of the narrative of Uncanny it's also a standalone mostly there for the retcons it's about to do and Spurrier's clearly aware plenty of future fans will read this on marvel unilimited or pick up the issue simply FOR this one reason.

So at this point Kurt is trying to comfort his mother whose lost in the memory of loosing her baby and this being Mystique is waving a pistol around at people. Kurt tries to help by giving her the version they both know: While Mystique and Destiny were firmly together for most of their very long lives, meeting in the 1900's with Mystiques past before that a giant question mark, they were on and off for a variety of reasons from normal couple issues to the simple facts of their powers: Raven is a shapeshifter meaning she's often living a whole other life that can't always acomedate the love of her life and Destiny being a precog means sometimes she has to go off and do shit to make sure things go the right way. So while they were wives for lives, they also had a very open marraige, with Raven taking partners for lonliness, to get by what have you and vice versa.

One of these was Christian Wagner, Kurt's alleged dad and a eurpoean count Raven hooked up with soley for money's sake and being a sexist dick, it wasn't easy. So she cheated on him with Azazel because sexy devil man, had his child and had to abandon kurt.. only.. the story isn't making sense to her and her head is hurting. After another round of his mommy waving a gun in his face, Kurt decides to cut the thing with the hopesword.

Thankfully Marvel knew this might be a lot for people reading Uncanny at the time and explained it in an article. Which is good for me as I haven't reread legion of x and forgot how the hell all this happened. So Nightcrawler's stepmom whose magic made mutants into rampaging monsters to help Orchis plan, Kurt included, hence the spider-man getup, and turned Kurt's hope into a sword that his friends made sure he got back.

Said sword is the hope of posisblity what can be and Kurt hands it to his mom in the hopes it'lll help her mind.. and not cut him in half. Lucky for Kurt he has a long history of taking a bet on someone everyone else says to run the fuck away from and it works.

So we get the FULL story and the full retcon of what happened, keeping Count Wagner and Azrael, but reframing it.

So like I said the two had an open marraige, with the two open to date whoever provided it benefitted them as a couple. Hence count wagner: he was rich, full of himself and has the kind of vibe that just screams "I cum in two minutes", so while obnoxious, he was easy enough to put up with as the long con was worth it and it was easy enough to get Irene in as her bang maid since Count Wagner really wasn't paying any attention to the house as long as it didn't cost him anything.

Instead of the torrid affair it was portrayed as in the past, Raven frames it as.. honestly way more realistic for how the characters are played in most comics not written by the nightcrawler pope guy.

It didn't help she sensed Raven was growing distance, figuring he was her fairwell gift. Raven's exact words. Which honestly satan's dick isn't the worst farewell gift but... get her a demon who can perform at least Irene sheesh.

Turns out though Irene had other plans.. she wanted to make a baby just the two of them. And I love Marcus To's art in this issue in general, beauitful, heartbreaking, well done, especially since as the one handling the present day wraparound he has to carry a LOT of emotion as the wraparound is mostly talking.. granted Kurt is wearing a spidey suit so only his eyes can emote for most of it but still. But I love this panel after she gives the reveal, as Raven sokes int he emotions

I also like the charcterization of Raven: Spurrier and To don't forget that Raven. .is a bad person. While I saw a complaint or two on reddit in doing research, honestly.. it dosen't sugarcoat it. She talks about the men she dated as toys she broke, waves a gun around and is harsh with Kurt, who she later reveals once she got the memories back she knew was her baby boy. Raven is a pragmatic person who wants whatever the hell she wants and will steal and kill to get it. Yet this tale.. still works. Just because a person is awful.. dosen't mean they can't love and just because neither Raven nor Irene is a good person... dosen't mean they don't deserve a child made of love. There were other births but this was thehirs.

Raven is also recast as nonbinary, saying the only real diffrence between genders is those who can be who they are and those denied the right and Raven Darkholme is who she is. I also find Kurt's inital bafflement that 'but your both women" hilariously naive for a man who was spending his time being a spider-man while palling around with what he knew deep down was the conciousness of one of his best friends pretending to be gremlin him, while wilding a sword made of pure hope.

The comic does retcon Mystiques abiliteis; she CAN change her dna. She dosen't often becasue she dosen't WANT to but given how she can fool any scanner imaginable this makes perfect sense. Her power isn't mimicking apperance.. it's altering her genes. We get a file page from Dr. Nemisis, an immortal mutant nazi hunter who played a supporting role in both previous spurrier nightcrawler books and who fleshes this out more. She's near omega levels. Omega is a term that was just vauge shorthand for "really powerful" that kept being used way too often, and which Jonathan Hickman helpfully redefined so it was still useable, but also limited it to a handful of mutants: any mutant whose power has no upper limit. The only reason he can't formally classify her as omega as he dosen't know if she could mimic x-genes or change her own. Basically a way that leaves the door open to that but dosen't shove it too open as it was clear Spurrier didn't really have time to get into this concept and left it for future writers to do more with.

So after a brain headache, Mystqiue presses on: she immediately dumped Azazel, who took it with a lot of bitch crying and "I'M DUMPING YOU YOUR NOT ME" nonsense as you'd expect.

Christian was less easy at first: while Raven grew a bump to match his , the Baron wanted a dna test. Which given Raven used a bunch of male dna she had lying around including his could've been bad. Thankfully Baron Incel walked in on them and honestly in other circumstances i'd feel bad; Raven cheated on him, was using him for money and slits his fucking throat.. but given he both calls them Sapphic Harlots, in what given the floating timeline would've been the early 90's, planning to have them WHIPPED for it...

So they go through with the pregnancy with Raven pretneding to both be her pregnant self and the baron, dismissing the staff and generally enjoying the process. She also keeps the prengancy belly even when not in public at times... to carry the prengancy with her wife. Awww. And I like this a lot.. is it idealized.. yeah. But again a bad person CAN be happy. Evil can love. Raven being terrible dosen't mean she can't genuinely have cared.

So the baby comes and the doctors.. arne't exactly impressed.. raven though

There are so many little touches to this I didn't notice the first time I read it... but this one is so damn good. The "see me".

Sadly this didn't last as naturally the doctors of 1990 in a small villiage weren't ready for sapphic mutants and their elf child so they attacked. The setup is as it was many times and showed up in x-men the animated series, evolution and others: nightcrawler is born, and the poor boy is, like too many mutants hated and feared just for being born. So Raven flees while Irene stays behind saying she'll be fine. And it's that last part that flips the script. Raven leaves her baby boy.. but unlike the past where she threw him away , choosing his life over hers.. she simply left him. That simple. She left him at the base of a tree to go save irene.. only to find as she said, she'd left. And when Raven returns.. Kurt is gone.

Kurt tries to comfort her in the present taking off the mask.... but she knows already. Kurt does see this as a possible new beginning because.. he's Kurt Wagner. He sees the good in people even after the many horrible things his mom has done. Mystique however sees it as the past: it was a lifetime ago, theyg rew apart and what's really important is seeing this memory through.

So a few years of in her words sex, violence and nihilism that meant nothing thorugh the pain later, Raven catches up to her wife in the usual way

Yeah the story dosen't really let Irene get away with things easy either. They only reconcile, and then only barely, because Destiny basically waves Rogue in front of her face and forces her to adopt the daughter Raven always wanted. I do like how the narrative dosen't cheapen her adopting Rogue either: While Destiny does again essnetially go "here's another child to raise", when confronted with what the pimps and pushers might do to this poor child , despite all the hate and needed explinations.. Raven's first insitnct.. is to comfort Rogue. She's still fucking pissed, at her worse.. but she sees a child lost due to her gift, needing her and ignores her pain to help.

So Destiny explains once their alone and Rogue is getting so me much needed sleep now happily adopted. Turns out the reason Kurt was abandoned.. was fate. And these retcons are the parts where the issue reaches a bit for me. The rest is fine: that Mystique did love her son once, as while her abandoning him is somewhat in character, her having genuinely loved him and given him away not because she wanted to but because Destiny played it that way feels more in character with who she's become, the more nuanced character versus the pure evil she could be at times especially in the late 2000's and 2010's.

This though.. is reaching. So Azazel of all people would've conquered thew orld, which I call bullshit on as while he was portrayed as a genuine threat, and admittedly I haven't read the draco because if i'm going to do it i'm damn well going to get some content out of it and possibly money, he was never.. this level. And sure he could purely focus on it but.. dr strange existead at this point. The idea he needed to be distracted isn't terrible but I don't buy from the story set up he needed that to be stopped. It's servicible enough but dosen't feel valid.

The second part is more... iffy. Kurt needed to grow up hated nad feared , left with Margalai and growing form his pain. That feels very chosen oney and I don't like it. Kurt is who he is not due to fate but who he is. Thankfully what saves this from being pure garbage.. is the reactions of mother and son to it. Kurt is broken up, not wanting ot think he's bound to fate this tightly and just a puppet on invisible strings, while Raven.. nearly chokes irene scremaing MY SON IS NOT A TOOL OF FATE.

So Irene knowing they can't go on like this decides to mindwipe the whole stuff, something Raven agrees to but unlike irene she wants to remember Kurt's her son. Unforutnately they went to Charles Xavier for this and he warns her what her mind might do and wipes his own mind. Because he can do that. This is flimsy, but it makes sense and while Raven blames charles saying he made her hate her child, it was her own brain doing that. He warned her it might happened and as usual she didn't listen.

But she's more upset that in her rage and need to move on she let herself forget breaking down.. and as usual kurt forgives her

It's pwoerful words.. and the truth. Destiny may of seen how things were going.. but Kurt isn't who he is because of some fated path. As much as I hate that chosen oney framing, the comic does a good job making it clear that whatever Destiny saw.. Kurt is his own man.. and he's a man who wants the mom he never really had back. So the two forge an uneasy possible future, walking off.... tommorow is another day.

And so far this has stuck. Irene got restored too not wanting it at first but accepting kurt once she did get her memories properly restroed, and while both left, it wasn't to just abandon their kids, but simply because of that whole fate thing combind with being wandering soles. Plus it's easier for them to show up later in uncanny than have them in the cast from day one. Raven and Irene wander, it's what they do. So for now Kurt seems to be joining the cast of Uncanny X-Men while Myistque is getting her own mini up to some mysterious gameplan. But wherever they go... Kurt now has two mothers who love him.

X-Men Blue Origins is a fantastic issue packed with tons of fantastic emotoinal artwork, great writing and a really compelling wraparound as our heroes go through this story and find the truth. It also does the best it can to stand alone while not ignoring the story it's part of and nicely implements an idea decades in the making. This CAN go wrong as just because a great writer came up with it dosen't mean it's.. good as claremont also had some less stellar concepts, see x-men forever for that. Another sword of damocles over my head for another day. It's a great issue and well worth checking out on Marvel Unilmited or if you find it in a back issue bin or online or whatever and a gloriously gay idea executed at long last.

Next Time: We close out the month with a list! My top 12 x-runs! From factors to men it's the best of x

#x-men blue #x-men #mystique #raven darkholme #irene adler #destiny #mystique x destiny #nightcrawler #kurt wagner #azazel #comics #krakoa #fall of x #simon spurrier

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