#fake pitch costs

[fertilize-my-eggs]

“ why can't I get a girlfriend huh?? ”creepy incel shigaraki x fem chubby reader noncon smut

A/N: hello!! This modern quirkless au oneshot, I don't have any plans for this one sorry. This is more of fanon unhinged feral shigaraki and extremely delusional asf in this. If I miss any tagged let me know and I'm sorry if it isn't proofread!! ( There the full story in A03 )

“ why can't I get a girlfriend huh?? ” 

It's echoing in your mind as he holds your neck tightly with his slim fingers, how did you get here? 

Well you were having a terrible day, seeing this strange blue haired man everywhere you go.

At first you just saw him as a regular customer while you were working at a game store, he happened to appear out of nowhere in the middle of the night.

He taps on your shoulder as he gives you an unnerving nausea, you try your best to be polite.

“ What can I help you s-sir? ” this man didn't know any personal space as he leaned in and said.

“ Any options on this game? ” He rasfully spoke as he tapped on a cover that looked like an RPG with cute anime girls on it.

You were clueless when it comes to games, you look into his blood red eyes.

“ uhh… it's a great game, with a strong main character with a love stor- ” he rolled his eyes as he huffed in annoyance.

“ ughhh does it have sex scene in it?? ” you blink at him a few times.

“ Excuse me? ” There was long awkward silence as you felt a chill run down your spine as you tried your best not to judge a customer too fast.

“ well I've never played it but- ”

“ but? How the hell did you get this job in the first place if you don't know any game… npc females.. ” he whispers the last part quietly but you hear it loud and clear as you cleanse your throat.

“ I'm sorry sir. ” he ignored you completely as he put the game back on the shelf as he collected the games he was interested in. You rushed to the register as he put the games on the countertop.

You felt unsafe by this one customer but it's your night shift and it was your closing time. 

All you have to do is scan the products and send him on his way home, you grab one game at a time as you scan it. Maybe he was just grumpy and had a sour mood today or…

You flinched as his fingers resting on your hand as he said.

“... you.. are very beautiful.” you quickly removed your hand as you put a fake smile on.

“ Thank you… sir. ” he was giving you the ick and he didn't like how you reacted from his touch.

“ your cost is $67.45, would you like a bag sir? ” he nods his head as he remains quiet, watching you put the games into the plastic.

He grabs the bags as he walks to the door to leave, you thought you'd never see him again but boy are you wrong.

You started to feel a pair of eyes staring behind your back whenever you went to your job, you spotted him in a public area. At first you thought you'd had hallucinations seeing him and his long blue locks hidden in his hood, all black clothing as he disappeared into the crowd of people.

You noticed little things disappearing as well, you couldn't find your dirty panties. You were quite messy by leaving your clothes around the house, you were able to find them sooner… but it never comes back, your pillow cover has a questionable sticky texture and it smells horrendous!

It's been a couple of days, you decided to report it to the cops about your stalker but they simply told you that they'll take action if he does something… meaning they weren't gonna help you out and you were helpless.

You were woken up by him in your pitch black room, his hands at your throat not too harsh but it was firm.

You couldn't speak as you begin to tear up.

“ hello.. y/n. Aren't you glad to see me? "You could see his sharp eyes staring at you as he began to speak.

“ I don't understand…” he tilted his head as he loses it a bit so you could breathe a little.

“ I try to be nice.. but every female always rejects me, they always want a male that treats them like trash.”

“ They call me ugly weirdo… a freak of nature.” his fingers lightly rubbed your skin.

“ I’m a nice guy I-...” he leans in so close that your noses are touching.

“ I don't understand… ”

“ Why can't I get a girlfriend huh?? ” he raised his voice. It's echoing in your mind as he holds your neck tightly with his slim fingers.

“ I'll treat you right, give you everything baby. ” he slowly licks your cheek.

“ I'll let no npc hurt you…I'll murder them just for you ~. ” this man is a psychopath, you need to escape but somehow he reads your mind as he begins to chuckle.

“ trying to leave? You're not in your own room darling.. you're tied up in my room, I'm surprised you didn't wake up. You're a heavy sleeper hahaha ~ ” you blink a few times to process what he said as he removes his hands.

“ What the hell are you talking about?!? Are you insane??? ” you begin to sob out, taking the air in as he flickers the light. He was right it wasn't your room, it was far different from yours as you noticed familiar underwears on the floor.

“ I grew tired of jacking off to your filthy panties so I want the real thing.. "You were yank harshly as he spread your thighs wide.

“ Stop!! release me plea- ” you cry out, feeling his rough lips on your sensitive area, you start to squirm fast as he surp you like it was his last meal. It was so sloppy and  inexperienced, this man didn't know how to please a woman.

You yelp as your eyes look down at him, he rubs your skin softly as he growls.

“ stop moving like that unless you want harsh punishment? ” You were unable to speak due to how terrifying this situation is and you don't want him upset, who knows how he will act.

You shake your head but he slaps your thighs hard as you sob out.

“ I need words. "You look away as you look back to his vermilion eyes.

“ no.. ” he wasn't having it but you could see the faint smirk on his lips, he clearly enjoys this.

Sicko… 

“ you're my little plaything.. my player two mhmm~ ” you arch your back up feeling his hot mouth on your pussy, you made a high pitch moan as he slid his digits into your hole.

“ ohh god~!! ” his hungry lustful eyes stare at you.

Tongue flick your clit in harsh circles, his fingers crossed, push up your wall to find it..

Your eyes blink the tears away, you can't let this man have his satisfaction so you bite your lips and look away.

His hand landing on your thighs again as you scream in pain.

“ Keep staring at me… you really want me to punish you so bad hehe~.. ” your eyes wide in fear.

“ no!! Please don't. ” You begged him but he chuckled and went back to eating you out.

His arm wrapped around your thighs as he used his thumb on your clit, rubbing it fast and hard circles.

You couldn't wait any longer as your unwanted orgasm hit you fast, your eyes rolled back and your toe curled in.

“ shit… ahh fuck.. ” you pant heavily, feeling the bed move by him humping the sheets. You can hear his pathetic whimpers and groans as he swallows all your juices.

It's felt like hours as you're crying hard from the overstimulating, he continues to eat you out and bring out three orgasms.

“ please… no more. "You pant heavily, he gives a few sloppy kisses to your clit then finally move away.

“ We're just getting started with this gameplay~ you need to be trained to take this cock hehehe~ ” he purrs sweetly, seeing his face covered in your cum.

“ Please let me go, I don't want this... ” he rolled his eyes at you and he begins to mock your voice.

“ I don't want this, I wanna go home!! You're NOT leaving coz you're mine~!!! Your home is here with me. Don't you understand that!! ”

He grabs your neck firmly as he leans in.

“ I'm your boyfriend… shigaraki tomura~ ” you blink at him, you think you hear his name on the news being a japan world wanted criminal what the hell is he doing here in this country??

He has no patience as he grabs his thick long cock to your entrance as he begins to slide in, you scream at him to stop.

“ stop!!! it's fucking hurt! Please-. ” he covered your mouth fast.

“ God you're such a brat-... don't know how to shut up… mhmm but you feel so good and tight aughh~ ” he pushed more of it, pulling out slowly as he looked down.

“ oh… I see why it was hurting, you're losing your virginity.. ahh it's okay baby~ we are losing it together.” the blood covers his whole length as you closed your eyes tight, your mouth was open letting out a silent scream.

He caresses your cheek tenderly.

“ soon I'll destroy your mindset, you're become my wife… fuck~ ! ” His body language changes as he thrusts faster and harder into you.

“ Soon you'll carry my children.. ahhh  shit can't wait until you produce milk.. ” he leans in to bite your nipples, sucking it gently as he humping your body. Your mind went blank and a sobbing mess from the unwanted pleasure.

He harshly pushes your thighs to your head as he moves at fast paced.

“ I can't wait to see you nice and round of our baby ~. ” he kisses your breasts softly.

“ we got plenty of time to breed your insides~ aughh fuck~!! Want to make you a perfect mommy.. ” he whimpers out, his cock sliding in and out of your slippery cunt.

He covered your mouth as he smirk wide.

“ I'll fuck a baby into you in many rounds until you're full with my cum. ” he sigh heavy, your shaky eyes couldn't see him properly as you feel your head getting a headache and see blackness around.

“ Are you ready player two? Ready for our new save? A new life together you and I~ ” you felt heat in your core as he made a high pitch groan releasing his white thick cum hitting your wall, you felt it filling fast as you cried out and he removed his hand to passionately make out with you.

The cries were muffled as he bit your bottom lip, pulling it away as he rode his high. He called out your name and his dick twitched excitedly as he pants.

He kisses your face sweetly.“ I love you.. I love you Y/n you'll never leave… and if you do. ” you knew he was just manipulating you, his whole act seem so fake as his eyes have a shine in them.

“ you'll get a severe punishment if you do~ ” his thumb rubs your lips softly.

“ you're mine… you're my beautiful wife.. ” he looked down to rub your belly tenderly.

“ our beautiful baby as well~.. ”

“ you're insane.. ” he looked into your eyes and coo sweetly.

“ insane? No no no baby.” he pulled your face close.

“ I'm only insane for you.. my love for you is passion and if anyone touches what is mine. ” he grabs your neck softly.

“ they will die..” he begins to move his hips as you begin to cry.

“ You belong to me~.. ”

[pixiesfz]

sorry I haven’t been posting much guys I have been MAJOR busy

first meet n.c x reader

plot: how you first met your girlfriend

warning: none

Niamh sighed as she sat down next to Emma, bored out of her mind.

Just one more interview she told herself as she got comfortable in her seat.

She hated interviews with Emma, they always just asked her questions and it left her with nothing to do but just look around.

Plus Jessie had left recently and she was still trying to get used to it.

Sure she still had Z but she’s usually on the other side of the field.

The interview started and Niamh gave her fake smiles to the men and women around her before Emma started off.

She started answering questions about transfers and Sams injury and how it might cost the team but Niamh wasn’t really paying attention.

It wasn’t until you called her name.

“This question is actually for Niamh” you raised your voice whilst Niamh was looking at her microphone, her head snapping up at the sound of her name, only to be met by the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.

“Oh” she said out of realisation that everyone had been looking at her, causing a genuine laugh out of Emma.

“Tik Tok will love this” she joked lightly, gathering a chuckle out of the room as Niamh still looked at you.

She shook her head to shake any thoughts away before she smiled “uhm ask away”

You smiled before asking “How do you feel about the media’s response of the recent departure of a good friend of yours Jessie Fleming?”

Niamh could answer the question in her sleep but with your eyes staring at her she found herself stuttering “I uhm- I find that the media is correct in the way that I uhm- that I will miss one of my very good friends but I wish her the absolute best in Portland and now we share a number so uhm- that’s uhm- good”.

Niamh was blushing bright red by the time she finished her answer, she wasn’t even sure if it made any sense. Emma, next to her was trying hard not to laugh at one of her players and the fact that it was very obvious that she was nervous by you.

“thank you Niamh” you smiled and wrote down in your notepad

“Thank you” Niamh repeated before realising her mistake “I mean you’re welcome” she quickly corrected herself and decided she wanted to swallow herself whole as she saw you laugh.

“I think that’s enough” a man said from the back and Niamh had never been so grateful for that man in her entire life as she got out of her seat quickly and walked out.

Getting the answers you needed you tucked your notebook away and stood up yourself to leave, a small blush on your face as you looked back onto your interaction.

Emma wasn’t wrong when she said that Tik Tok would love the interview as screenshots were taken and Niamh’s nervous answer became popular on many platforms.

And very popular in the changing rooms.

“I have never seen you stutter so much” Guro laughed at her as Erin recreated it “You don’t get it” Niamh responded as she thought back to it.

“Caught lacking” Same yelled from the other end of the room

“I’ve heard enough from Jessie” she said, throwing her head back as she remembered her Canadian friend going through the trouble to make the video into a gif and constantly sending it to her as a meme.

“Did you at least get her number?” Aggie asked, now interested in the conversation

“What?” Niamh said “no I was so embarrassed I went straight home”

Guro dropped her mouth open “You didn’t get her number!”

Niamh winced “no…should I have?”

A loud chorus’s of “yes” followed.

“Oh”

The next time you appeared was after the national break and you had been chosen to interview on the pitch this time for one on one time with the players.

As Chelsea won on their home ground with their opponents having to wear their own socks it was a very lovely stadium, filled with Chelsea blue.

When you walked onto the pitch with a microphone and a camera man behind you Niamh’s mouth dropped.

“You’re catching fly’s Charles” Sam laughed at her friend before she followed her eyesight “who is it?”

“That’s- girl- girl interview”

“Holy shit!” Sam realised, somehow getting her friends horrid sentence “go ask for her number!”

Niamh looked at her friend in horror “no!”

“yes!”

“No!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

Sam laughed at her victory as Niamh groaned “she’s coming over anyway” Sam pointed out and the English player immediately went red.

“Hi, do you mind if we do an interview with the captain?” You asked and Sam nodded “absolutely”. and walked off.

“Nice to now have an actual conversation” you started as your camera man set up “uhm yeah”

You started your interview quickly after as Niamh took her time answering, having to stop herself from just looking at you the entire time which she failed at

When the camera turned off you smiled at Niamh who stood still, fidgeting with her hands as she looked up at you with her blue eyes.

You weren’t an idiot, you had seen Niamh in interviews and she had been a lot less fidgety and a lot more better with her words, and also her Scottish teammate had dm’d you a video of her gushing about a ‘pretty journalist’.

So you blushed before opening your mouth.

“Do you have something you want to ask me?”

[twisted-wonderland-memories]

Before the Gift

Gift of….

Summary: They knew, they knew that you never felt happiness ever since you save them one by one. The first was great but the more it continues…..

Ace and Deuce noticed when you feel like shit, they wanted to ask you but you continued to dodge their questions and just simply move on. Its frustrating for them really, they decided to ask Grim to see how you feel in the night, it would never hurt to find the reason why. Grim was skeptical at first but he would be rewarded with premium tuna can so he accepts. Grim made sure that he stays awake in the night, finally he has the clues.

You were often hiding in other rooms crying when everyone is asleep, hiding yourself from revealing your own true feelings. It pains Grim to find that discovery so he ran out of the dorm and runs straight to Ace and Deuce to tell him what he found.

Little did Grim did not realize Riddle was there scolding the ADeuce duo as to why they were up this late. Finally the explanations are now revealed with the help of Grim.

The trio remained speechless, and yet Ace can’t help but needed to do something.

After all, you did all of their heavy lifting mode.

Thankfully Trey and Cater catches up and soon understand the situation, they suggested was giving a gift to Perfect. Ace and Deuce thinks that it was a good idea and yet Riddle was honestly concerned if the gift alone would make you happy. But Ace just suddenly told him to just give the gift a shot, Riddle was hesitate but then agreed but they all had to tell Grim not to tell this plan to others.

The next day when Ace and Deuce were spying on Perfect enjoying the gifts, Jack happened to see what was going on and yet asked the ADeuce combo about it. Tho they both explained that Perfect got a gift from the Housewarden Riddle, Jack manage to see the happiness from your expression, he did recall seeing you depressed especially when you are alone. Jack then had a plan and ADeuce was confused when he suddenly left.

Jack went to Leona to talk about your situation, tho Leona was about to just sleep the conversation away, but he stayed away when he heard about your situation. There is no way in hell that Leona can sleep through that, Leona simply told Jack to leave this to him since he DID recall catching Riddle holding a box. And yet, Leona asked Jack to find a gift that would make you smile, Ruggie also pitches in on find an info on what makes you smile.

Soon Epel was able to find many ideas on how to give you a gift at that time, but was caught by Vil. And yet Epel had to let Vil know about you, Rook also heard the news and decided to chirp in to the conversation and at the same time agrees to beg with Epel to Vil to at least give you something.

Part of Vil wants to refuse, but the thought of seeing Perfect fake smiling does make him uncomfortable.

Sebek wanted to help but he was too occupied with Malleus and yet….. a part of him decided to help out.

The next part Sebek does was going to Lilia about what does he think that you would like, Silver thought it was suspicious but Sebek insisted on thinking of a gift. He did pointed out that you are also feeling under the weather, but they were not expecting that Malleus was also hearing this from the other side of the room.

How the other dorms noticed the first years giving you the gift is interesting.

Jade and Floyd caught Riddle Leona holding gift boxes and handing it to you, the second they pointed that out to Azul, he was frustrated at them for doing the first move if a hug from Leona wasn’t enough there was Riddle’s hand kiss? Oh no way Azul would not let that slide, he ordered the eel twins to capture the ADeuce combo for some answers, they did but at what cost.

The octo trio hearing that you have been depressed lately? That is something new to them and yet, it doesn’t feel funny when they manage to find you crying in secret. From there on they decided to give you gifts as well, they were all in on the plan.

Idia with his security camera did happen to see you depressed and yet he also saw how the other housewardens give you gifts, Ortho suggested of doing what they do tho Idia rejected the idea. But Ortho literally had to remind Idia and you are literally the reason they all changed for the better, he has to admit that your company was also nice, so he decided to accept it and give it a shot. But to his dismay when Ortho told him to just give this to you instead, sure again Idia rejects but Ortho said that you won’t reject it anyway. Thanks to that Idia decided to give the gift to you in person or tablet a goal.

Jamil happened to overhear Epel and Sebek on the conversation about you on the cafeteria, tho he isn’t sure if he should give a gift that is perfect to you. He decided to ask Kalim about any ideas and yet Kalim also knows the situation as well, he cheerfully suggested on giving you the greatest gift, but Jamil just told him to give you something that isn’t from a rich kid.

Kalim then agrees and then an idea struck that he should at least trying sewing, tho Jamil was a bit worried but then he soon agrees. They are sure giving you a handmade plushie won’t hurt.

Finally Grim himself, he kept you company from time to time. Tho even if he did hear that you just wanted to be alone, Grim isn’t having it and just stubbornly stay by your side even if its in secret or not. Part of him wants to give you that premium tuna but you would told him to just keep it instead.

And yet Grim had one idea, and that is to give you his ribbon.

Tho you are confuse as to why he do that, but Grim can’t help but cry and point out why you kept all those negative emotions to yourself. Because of that Grim leaned on you for more hugs, making you cry and hug him back in return.

Was it because you can’t take it anymore?

Or was it that you just felt incredibly lonely?

And yet Grim needs to remind you one thing, if you are depressed the others will find you.

[pasaatimonarkin]

No crying in the Burlesque club | part 1

Han Jisung x reader ft. OT8 Stray kids

Mafia!au

Warnings: cursing, guns, mentions of blood, cursing, sexual language.

Word count: 3,9k

Part 2

Han and Seungmin were on their assigned mission in a Burlesque club. Red dragons - their rival - had been spotted planning on an attack in there. The owner had unpaid debt, and they were going to come collect it. Strays didn't care for the owner's wellbeing. They wanted to stop the attack and benefit from it by abducting one of the members. Red dragons would possibly hold information on a race they were going to attend.

"Never been to a burlesque club before" Seungmin said as he sat down before a table that was right next to the stage, there they would have the best vision on what was going on at the club. Han who was sitting next to him patted him on the shoulder "You should enjoy the show then, it's not every day we get assigned for a mission in this kind of place". Seungmin rolled his eyes as Han grinned. 

The club wasn't stacked full but had enough of people that spotting the red dragon's members might not be easy. Seungmin and Han had to keep their eyes open, always scanning the place.

"You think they are going to strike once the performance starts?"

"Probably...Sad, I would have wanted to enjoy the show" Han fake pouted at Seungmin. "You sound like Hyunjin. Except that he probably would be the one entering the stage".

"Wouldn't be surprised by that" Han smiled shortly, straightening his black leather jacket and putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans, feeling his gun under his right hand. Seungmin twirled a small knife under the table between his hands whilst looking around. It was a Thursday evening which would explain the lack of people. The audience was mostly old rich men coming to watch under dressed women so they would have something to jerk off to. There rarely were people who watched just for the sake of enjoying the performance.

You were one of those not so lucky people that were eye candy for those middle-aged men. You loved to dance and sing but mostly perform. Burlesque wasn't your cherry on top choice as your career, but it was the best and pretty much the only place for you to be able to live up to that dream. You didn't have the money to go to other cities for auditions and castings. Those would cost thousands of dollars.

So, there you were, sitting at the makeup desk fixing you hair and makeup before stepping to the stage to perform. As you stood up you checked your outfit. You had on a champagne-colored strapless bodysuit that was full of diamonds with big, long white feathers hanging from the bottom of it. To match the outfit, you had a diamond feather pin on the side of your head, keeping that side of you long, curled brown hair off your face. 

"Ey Dolly, you're up in three minutes!" Your boss shouted from the hall. "Gotcha" you responded and tiptoed your way onto the stage. You were on bare feet this time as your performance was supposed to be soft and elegant. The stage was almost pitch black as it was covered with big red curtains. There was a big human size bird cage with a ring inside the middle of it. That's where you would sit for the beginning of the performance before stepping down and starting to dance. 

You hopped and climbed on the ring then making the final adjusts to your hair and outfit. Waiting for the curtains to open and music to start. Your heart was beating, and you took a deep breath. No matter how much you loved it and how many times you had performed already, it always caught you off guard how much you it still made you nervous - but only at the beginning. Once you would start, the stress was gone and replaced with adrenaline.

Han and Seungmin hadn't chatted much while waiting to not lose focus. For now, there had been no signs of any red dragon members, and they started to think whether the tip they got of the attack was fake. 

Their attention shifted to the stage as the curtains started to open and a bright spotlight pointed at the middle of the stage where you were sitting, your head hanging low, looking at the floor. People were waiting for the music but instead a bomb exploded in the back of the audience sending the tables and chairs, even some people in the air. You let out a scream as the shock wave dropped you on the floor. Luckily you were able to catch yourself with your arms and landed on your stomach. You winced once making contact with the floor. As you were trying to stand up and run away, another bomb exploded now closer to the stage and before you could move away the huge bird Cage fell on your legs. You screamed in pain and squinted your eyes. It felt like all your legs' bones were crushed. Tears filled your eyes immediately.

As the first bomb went off, Han and Seungmin flew down on their backs with the chairs. Without hesitation they both stood up quickly and ran to the bar behind them. They easily climbed over the bar counter and took shelter behind it. "What the fuck was that?" Han cursed and took the gun in his hands. Before Seungmin could answer, the other bomb went off. The men shielded themselves in case something was going to fly on them. After the shock wave went past them Seungmin stood up and eyed the place. The whole club was destroyed. All the chairs and tables were in pieces and there were small fire spots everywhere. Most people were screaming and running to the stairs that would lead outside, but some laid on the ground either trying to crawl or stayed down - probably unconscious or dead.

Sounds of guns shooting echoed from the top of the stairs followed with people screaming and running back down. "They're here~" Han sang and grinned, loading his gun and pointing at the stairs. This was the kind of action he liked. Seungmin followed him and was ready to shoot, expecting there to be around five red dragon members. Instead running down the stairs came 20 probably almost 30 armed men with black masks on - and they were not red dragon's members.

"Shit. We need to go" Seungmin said and motioned Han to start moving for the back exit where other people were also making their way. No way they could handle them all without proper pieces of equipment – and rest of Stray’s members.

People ran across the stage to the emergency exit screaming in horror. You looked on your left and saw a big group of men with guns running and spreading across the club, shooting people and looking for something. You tried to cry for help, but no one stayed to do that. You couldn't move, the cage was too heavy and pinned your legs against the floor tightly.

One of the gun men came to the stage and pointed his gun at you. "No no no, please-" you shouted and squinted your eyes as a gunshot was fired - but you didn't feel anything. You opened one eye to see the man lying on the floor while another man – in leather jacket and long black hair hanging open - stood behind him, putting his gun away. He raised his gaze from him to you and noticed your legs.

"Seungmin, lift the cage, I’ll pull her out" he said, and another black-haired man appeared behind him. They ran to you and crouched down.

"Give me your hands" the long-haired man said, and you did as told. He grabbed onto your wrists and nodded to Seungmin.

"Okay, 1-2-3!" Seungmin shouted and lifted the cage enough that you were pulled forward and helped up. But you couldn't take any pressure on your legs and screamed in pain. The man holding you quickly lifted you up in his arms. "I'll carry you" he said, more announcing it to himself than reassuring you that you would be helped out of the building.

"Watch out!" You shouted as another two men with their guns approached the stage. The man started to run to the exit with you in his arms as Seungmin pulled out his gun, shooting the men before they could even react, then following you.

Once you three got out, you didn't stop running. "Changbin, come to Gravewell street, the small alley, we have a casualty who needs to be taken to a hospital...I'll tell you later just come quick" Seungmin spoke to his earpiece. You had no idea who these men were but frankly you didn't really care, they were helping you.

You turned to an alley and stopped. The men were breathing heavily, and you were gently lowered on the asphalt. "That was a terrorist attack, not Red dragons!" Seungmin shouted. "I wonder whether the tip guy tricked us, or Red dragons have made some twisted-up deal with those guys" The other man replied clearly annoyed.

You heard the men and what they were talking about but didn't internalize a single word. You were in pain and in shock. It felt like knives were sinking into your legs, your head was pounding, and your heart rate was through the roof. Adrenaline was keeping you awake as you thought how close to death you just were. First the cage and then the gun men. You were pulled from your thoughts as a man riding a motorcycle, Changbin as you heard them call him, turned up to the alley, next to the man in leather jacket. 

"What happened?" Changbin asked as he opened his visor. "There were bombs inside that exploded and the men coming in were not Red dragon members. There was about 30 heavily armed men". The leather jacket man answered and sounded angry. 

Changbin didn't answer, seemed like deep in thought until his eyes wandered to you. Seungmin noticed that and cleared his throat. "This is..." he said and looked at you, not knowing your name. You looked back and were thinking what he said and was about to open your mouth to speak but the other man spoke first. "It doesn't matter what's her name. She crushed her legs and needs to be taken To a hospital" the other man interrupted.

"And in what part is that my Job?" 

"Don't be an asshole and just do so" Seungmin said and lifted you to sit on the motorcycle behind Changbin. You wanted to protest on it but decided not to, you just wanted to get to the hospital and away from these people who had guns. Changbin sighed, but his visor down and started up the motorcycle. "Hold tight" he said over his shoulder and before you could react, he stepped on the gas and you quickly gripped onto his jacket.

As you were speeding down the road you felt like crying. You were in pain, not knowing what was happening and couldn't understand what happened down at the club. It all happened so fast. You also were sitting on a motorcycle with a man you didn’t know and trust that he was going to take you to hospital. Suddenly a bullet flew right next your ear and then another. "Someone's shooting at us!" you yelled at the man and tightened your grip on his jacket, so tight that your knuckles turned white. He looked at the side mirror and saw a black SUV speeding behind you two. A man was shooting at your direction from the rooftop. "Hold onto my waist and crouch down" he shouted and you did as ordered hugging him from behind and lowering yourself as much as possible. He took a gun from his waist and while driving turned to shoot at the car at the same time speaking to his earpiece.

"Red dragons are chasing me" he yelled and shoot another bullet their way before turning back and planning on a route to lose the SUV. You raised your head but didn't loosen your grip on him. He sped up and slalomed through the other cars on the road. It was already dark and there wasn’t much traffic, so the SUV lingered behind you. All you could think was that you were going to die right there and then.

Bullets were flying past you, and you dared to look over your shoulder. The SUV was getting closer and soon the man on the rooftop could easily shoot you dead. Until the car wasn’t moving closer anymore and started to swerve before hitting the curb and crashing. A black Mercedes car behind it speeded over to you and you could see that it was the other two men. 

"Change of plans. Chan called; she needs to be brought to our place" the leather jacket man shouted from the open window. Holding a gun that he used to shoot the SUV’s back tires. "What? No- no I need to see a doctor and I’m not coming with you guys" you yelled in disbelief. Don’t even take me to a hospital just drop me here and I’ll crawl rather than come with you guys.

"Sorry sweetheart but you can either jump off the motorcycle - which I doubt you will survive from - or be a good girl and come with us. Besides we also have a doctor there" he winked, and the car sped up past you and merged to your lane in front of you. You scoffed in disbelief but couldn’t do other than just sit there and hope you weren’t being kidnapped by some insane men.

You arrived at a huge mansion like house through a metal gate. The house had three floors, at least from the looks of it. It was dark grey with few windows. Once you stopped at the entrance you realized how nauseous and dizzy you felt. "I'm gonna throw up"

"Not on me or the bike!" Changbin shouted and turned to look at you. The leather jacket man came from their car and walked to you. He came just in time as you didn't throw up but lost your conscious and the last thing you felt was his hands around you as you fell from the motorcycle.

"Wakey, wakey".

You woke up to a man speaking, lingering on top of you and pointing his flashlight at your eyes. You fluttered your eyes open, and he put the light away.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better than before" you said yawning, sitting up on the bed that you had been put in. You looked down at your legs and saw that your right leg had a cast on to the middle of your shin and left leg had a huge bandage.

"You had broken your right ankle. Your left leg had to fractions just a big cut. Nothing big considering what fell on you" he said, noticing you staring at your legs. 

"You know?" 

"Han told me when he carried you here"

So, the leather jacket man was called Han.

You eyed the room. It was like a hospital operating room with big lights on top of the bed and the dark blue walls with big cupboards full of medical equipment. But you knew you weren't in a hospital, and that's all you knew. 

"Where am I?"

"I'll leave that explanation for our boss to tell. Here, take this". He handed you a tablet and a glass of water. You took them and looked between them and the man. "Don't worry, it's just paracetamol, to help with the pain" he sneered. "I'm Lee know by the way".

"I'm y/n" you said before chugging the tablet. You weren't feeling any pain, some heavy painkillers had probably been pushed to your system while you were out of it. The man was putting dirty wound care stuff to a big trash can. He had short black hair and a big white doctor's coat. He looked like he would pass as a real doctor, maybe he was one?

You gave the glass back to Lee know and nodded as a thank you. "What do you mean with 'boss'? Who are you guys?". 

He opened his mouth to speak but pursed his lips together.

"Let me guess, the boss is going to tell?" You rolled your eyes and sighed, annoyed that you only had questions but no answers. 

Lee know smiled awkwardly and picked two walking sticks from the floor, handing them to you. "You should go meet him. I'll escort you"

You took the sticks and landed on your left leg which held just well. Behind Lee know you started to make your way hopping to meet this much talked boss. After the hospital room, as you named it, opened a long hall, the walls were dark brown wood and floor was light grey. It gave a cottage vibe but with 'rich' written all over it. There was a big crystal Chandelier hanging from the ceiling, for example.

"Whoa" you gasped when turning from the hall. You entered to an enormous hallway with another big but even bigger crystal chandelier, marble floor and stairs, marble everything. 

"You coming?" Lee know called out as you didn't realize you had stopped and stood still, looking around with your mouth hung open. "Are you guys like royal or something?".

Lee know let out a small snicker "Yeah, far from that”. He started walking ahead again and you tried to follow fast. He opened you a wooden door and you stepped into an office looking room. He closed the door behind you. In front of you was an office desk and behind it sat a black-haired man.

"Christopher" you gasped and almost fell backwards with shock.

"It's Chan now" he said with a low voice that sent chills down your spine. You hadn't heard that voice for many years and never thought you would hear it again.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that. Your friends or whatever were the ones that brought me here, after you told them to!"

"I mean, what are you doing in Los Angeles? You were supposed to stay in New York"

"What do you mean was supposed to? You never said that to me". Like I would remember, I was 6 when you left.

"I told mom that she must not let you move"

Before you could answer back, Han who had been standing in the corner spoke " Wait, are you siblings?" He asked confused. 

"Half!" You and Chan spoke in unison, not breaking eye contact. That was enough clue for Han not to say another word.

"She never said anything, and I don't see the issue with me moving here. Is it because of you? Because you never wanted to see me again?" 

"It's not that, y/n" he sighed quietly and picked his phone from the office table, tapping something and placing it over his ear "I'm going to call her-" 

"Don't bother, she's dead" you said bluntly without thinking much but regret washed over you once you saw Chan's face. It wasn't just your mom it was his too. You had gotten over her death years ago but to him the news was brand new. If you knew better, you would have said that more delicately.

He put the phone back on the table and just looked at you, his face softened but still remained stern and eyes glimmered in the light, but he didn't cry. He thought about your words but didn't know what to say. 

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have burst it out like that, I know-" 

"Stop talking" his voice was low as he spoke. "It doesn't matter. But since you are here, you got hurt and your face was seen by our enemies, you are staying in here."

"No, I'm not, I appreciate your 'doctor' or whoever for taking care of me but I’m going home. And what do you mean by enemies? Are you guys a mafia or something?"

"Han may tell you later and you are staying"

"But -" 

"I order you to" he raised his voice at you and you were taken back at how he talked to you like to a nobody. What had happened to the happy and cheerful Christopher who used to play with you, who you could talk to about everything. He felt cold, distant and almost like a stranger. You bit your lower lip and thought about what to do. You knew you would lose the fight if you insisted on leaving but you also didn't want to stay. 

"Han, take her to the guest room. I'll talk about the situation with the members later" he said shifting his eyes to look at Han who was standing still in the corner.

He nodded and walked to you, motioning to you to get up. You did so and picked the walking sticks. Before leaving, you took your last long look at Chan who didn't look at you but kept his eyes on the table. 

“So” Han spoke once you left the room. “Chan has a sister, who would have thought”, he walked next to you with his hands behind him and looked at you. You stopped at the beginning of the stairs. “Half, you remember that” you said and looked at Han’s eyes. For some reason his gaze made you very aware of how you were almost naked. You still only had your bodysuit on, with small stumps of feathers hanging from it.

“I remember. I wouldn’t stare at his whole sister when she’s almost naked” he smirked and eyed your body. Your eyes widened. The audacity of this man, you thought. “Just because I have my legs fucked up right now, doesn’t mean I can’t kick you in the nuts you creep”.

“Wow sweetie, no need to get heated up” he acted hurt and put his hand on his heart. “Don’t bark at the man who saved your ass”.

“I own you that I have to admit” you sighed and looked around. “So, where is the guest room?”.

“Right there” Han pointed at the stairs. Of course, the room would be upstairs. That way it would probably be easier to keep eye on you, you couldn’t escape quietly as you would roll down the stairs if trying to get down fast.

“Well great. Tell me, how am I supposed to get up there without killing myself?” I asked and looked up at the stairs. If they weren’t as long and made from, I don’t know, not marble!? It wouldn’t be a big problem. Han didn’t answer but wrapped his arm around your waist and the other arm behind your knees and lifted you up, your breath got stuck in your throat. “It’s like I’ve become your personal carrier” he sneered as you looked at him shocked, still holding onto your walking sticks. You didn’t know what to answer. He had his bad boy charm piercing into you like a needle and you couldn’t help but feel your heart start pounding. “I know I’m handsome, but we need to make up some rules. If I can’t stare at you, you can’t stare at me” Han said pretending to be all serious and started walking up the stairs. “Haha, funny” you just said quietly and started looking forwards.

“We are going to have so much fun”.

If you only knew what was ahead…

[onstagesport]

I saw a twitter post wishing for interactions between Lex and Steph and I need to pitch a Nightmare Time called "Wicked Stepsisters"

After Solomon Lauter's charity photo-op in the Hatchetfield Trailer Park, Pamela Foster manages to schmooze her way into a marriage with the mayor. The relationship goes smoothly at first with the Fosters gaining financial stability and Solomon gaining clout before the election.

But that doesn't last for long. Steph is irritated with Pamela for using them for their money and pissed off at her father favoring Lex because he can buy HER good behavior; Lex--sorry, Alex. Solomon paid the name change fees for Hannah and Lex, and Lex Lauter "just doesn't sound as good"--is annoyed at her mother's fake-ass housewife routine and snippy with Steph because at least she grew up with money to compensate for having a bad parent; Hannah doesn't do well with the attention and being paraded around as a prop for Solomon's new Disability Advocacy campaign; Pamela doesn't want her daughters to ruin this for them; and Solomon's image is faltering with all of these problems surrounding him.

So what does he do? He packs them all up for a family retreat at the Outclast Resort in the prettiest part of the Witchwood so they can relax and find some common ground before they cost him the election.

Obviously things get worse; it's Hatchetfield.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

An interoperability rule for your money

This is the final weekend to back the Kickstarter campaign for the audiobook of my next novel, The Lost Cause. These kickstarters are how I pay my bills, which lets me publish my free essays nearly every day. If you enjoy my work, please consider backing!

"If you don't like it, why don't you take your business elsewhere?" It's the motto of the corporate apologist, someone so Hayek-pilled that they see every purchase as a ballot cast in the only election that matters – the one where you vote with your wallet.

Voting with your wallet is a pretty undignified way to go through life. For one thing, the people with the thickest wallets get the most votes, and for another, no matter who you vote for in that election, the Monopoly Party always wins, because that's the part of the thick-wallet set.

Contrary to the just-so fantasies of Milton-Friedman-poisoned bootlickers, there are plenty of reasons that one might stick with a business that one dislikes – even one that actively harms you.

The biggest reason for staying with a bad company is if they've figured out a way to punish you for leaving. Businesses are keenly attuned to ways to impose switching costs on disloyal customers. "Switching costs" are all the things you have to give up when you take your business elsewhere.

Businesses love high switching costs – think of your gym forcing you to pay to cancel your subscription or Apple turning off your groupchat checkmark when you switch to Android. The more it costs you to move to a rival vendor, the worse your existing vendor can treat you without worrying about losing your business.

Capitalists genuinely hate capitalism. As the FBI informant Peter Thiel says, "competition is for losers." The ideal 21st century "market" is something like Amazon, a platform that gets 45-51 cents out of every dollar earned by its sellers. Sure, those sellers all compete with one another, but no matter who wins, Amazon gets a cut:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital

Think of how Facebook keeps users glued to its platform by making the price of leaving cutting of contact with your friends, family, communities and customers. Facebook tells its customers – advertisers – that people who hate the platform stick around because Facebook is so good at manipulating its users (this is a good sales pitch for a company that sells ads!). But there's a far simpler explanation for peoples' continued willingness to let Mark Zuckerberg spy on them: they hate Zuck, but they love their friends, so they stay:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs

One of the most important ways that regulators can help the public is by reducing switching costs. The easier it is for you to leave a company, the more likely it is they'll treat you well, and if they don't, you can walk away from them. That's just what the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau wants to do with its new Personal Financial Data Rights rule:

https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/cfpb-proposes-rule-to-jumpstart-competition-and-accelerate-shift-to-open-banking/

The new rule is aimed at banks, some of the rottenest businesses around. Remember when Wells Fargo ripped off millions of its customers by ordering its tellers to open fake accounts in their name, firing and blacklisting tellers who refused to break the law?

https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2016/10/07/497084491/episode-728-the-wells-fargo-hustle

While there are alternatives to banks – local credit unions are great – a lot of us end up with a bank by default and then struggle to switch, even though the banks give us progressively worse service, collectively rip us off for billions in junk fees, and even defraud us. But because the banks keep our data locked up, it can be hard to shop for better alternatives. And if we do go elsewhere, we're stuck with hours of tedious clerical work to replicate all our account data, payees, digital wallets, etc.

That's where the new CFPB order comes in: the Bureau will force banks to "share data at the person’s direction with other companies offering better products." So if you tell your bank to give your data to a competitor – or a comparison shopping site – it will have to do so…or else.

Banks often claim that they block account migration and comparison shopping sites because they want to protect their customers from ripoff artists. There are certainly plenty of ripoff artists (notwithstanding that some of them run banks). But banks have an irreconcilable conflict of interest here: they might want to stop (other) con-artists from robbing you, but they also want to make leaving as painful as possible.

Instead of letting shareholder-accountable bank execs in back rooms decide what the people you share your financial data are allowed to do with it, the CFPB is shouldering that responsibility, shifting those deliberations to the public activities of a democratically accountable agency. Under the new rule, the businesses you connect to your account data will be "prohibited from misusing or wrongfully monetizing the sensitive personal financial data."

This is an approach that my EFF colleague Bennett Cyphers and I first laid our in our 2021 paper, "Privacy Without Monopoly," where we describe how and why we should shift determinations about who is and isn't allowed to get your data from giant, monopolistic tech companies to democratic institutions, based on privacy law, not corporate whim:

https://www.eff.org/wp/interoperability-and-privacy

The new CFPB rule is aimed squarely at reducing switching costs. As CFPB Director Rohit Chopra says, "Today, we are proposing a rule to give consumers the power to walk away from bad service and choose the financial institutions that offer the best products and prices."

The rule bans banks from charging their customers junk fees to access their data, and bans businesses you give that data to from "collecting, using, or retaining data to advance their own commercial interests through actions like targeted or behavioral advertising." It also guarantees you the unrestricted right to revoke access to your data.

The rule is intended to replace the current state-of-the-art for data sharing, which is giving your banking password to third parties who go and scrape that data on your behalf. This is a tactic that comparison sites and financial dashboards have used since 2006, when Mint pioneered it:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/12/mint-late-stage-adversarial-interoperability-demonstrates-what-we-had-and-what-we

A lot's happened since 2006. It's past time for American bank customers to have the right to access and share their data, so they can leave rotten banks and go to better ones.

The new rule is made possible by Section 1033 of the Consumer Financial Protection Act, which was passed in 2010. Chopra is one of the many Biden administrative appointees who have acquainted themselves with all the powers they already have, and then used those powers to help the American people:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff

It's pretty wild that the first digital interoperability mandate is going to come from the CFPB, but it's also really cool. As Tim Wu demonstrated in 2021 when he wrote Biden's Executive Order on Promoting Competition in the American Economy, the administrative agencies have sweeping, grossly underutilized powers that can make a huge difference to everyday Americans' lives:

https://www.eff.org/de/deeplinks/2021/08/party-its-1979-og-antitrust-back-baby

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/21/let-my-dollars-go/#personal-financial-data-rights

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

Image: Steve Morgan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:U.S._National_Bank_Building_-_Portland,_Oregon.jpg

Stefan Kühn (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Abrissbirne.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

 - 

Rhys A. (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/rhysasplundh/5201859761/in/photostream/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[halenhusky309]

Kind of amazing how much JC did so much self-inflicted damage to his own sect, not only by doing the amoral thing by abandoning the Wen Remnants, his debt to them, and not standing by WWX, but also the most unpragmatic thing by:

- Abandoning the guy who is: a genius inventor, an army by himself, the reason so many new people came into the sect, and overall a ridiculously good asset to the sect.

- Losing the opportunity cost of getting one of the best doctors/physicians in the land.

And all he has to do was show a modicum of backbone (standing by WWX and Wen Remnants) and political acumen (literally tell the truth of the situation and frame it in a somewhat palatable manner).

Lol, when you listed out the benefit of Jiang Cheng having some backbone and simply committing to just 25% of his clan's motto, his clan would have been even more powerful than Jins clan and he could have shut the yapping and shit-talking from other clan leaders, as those coward would rather become sheeples to someone who was richer and more powerful. But nah, Jiang Cheng volunteered to be Jin Guangshan's bitch when no one threatened him or anything. The only they did was throwing some snide comments, bringing up his daddy's issue and pitching WWX against him and he chose folded like wet blanket... Now, he loses two geniuses that would strengthen his clan tenfold while also make him look like a real honorable clan leader. Too bad being fake and shallow "good" clan leader is easy for him

[brandyllyn]

Mysterious

Benny ‘Borracho’ Magalon x f!reader [no use of y/n]

Summary: Benny tries to follow-up up the next day. Words: 4.6k 

My Masterlist

Rating: Explicit. Warnings: language. smut. cannon typical violence, oral (m receiving), PIV.

The long awaited sequel to Adventurous. Only took 3 years.

Benny’s phone was unmoving where it sat on his desk. Screen blank. He kept glancing at it, occasionally reaching over and lighting the screen up to see if he had new messages. Then he scrolled into his texts, pulling up 'Kiki' and staring at the single bubble sitting there.

Hey sexy.

It felt like a safe enough opening. Not too eager. He glanced at his watch and cursed, it hadn’t even been twelve hours since he’d seen you. Had draped his coat around your shoulders and walked you to your car. Pressing you against the cool metal and giving you a long deep kiss.

He could still taste you.

Fuck he could still feel you. The ghost of your skin on his fingertips. The clench of you around his cock. He grunted and adjusted himself, shifting in his chair slightly as the detective’s report swam in front of his eyes. He needed to get his shit together or some cholo was going to shoot his ass.

"Borracho." 

Benny whipped his head up at Nick’s voice. "Ya boss?"

"You got that ballistics report?"

Benny rifled through the papers on his desk, pulling the file and handing it off to Nick. His boss thumbed through the pages then tapped him on the shoulder with it. "Nice job last night."

His brow’s drew together and he gave Nick a confused look. "With what?"

"The-" Nick made a thrusting motion with his hips, his voice going high and mocking. "Oh Benny. Benny!" The larger man laughed and Benny rolled his eyes.

"Fuck off."

"I’m just saying, we had a bet going you couldn’t even get it up anymore.” Nick sniped as he walked away, “Cost me a hundred bucks."

"My man’s a stallion," Henderson shouted from across the room. "I knew you had it in you brother!"

See this? This was why he never did shit at the parties. These fucking assholes right here. Taking what was hands down one of the best nights of Benny’s life and putting bets on it. Bets they didn’t even have the decency to include him on.

And his phone remained dishearteningly blank.

“She give you a fake number?”

His eyes darted to Zapata but he tried not to react. “Who?”

“That girl, the one you been pining over for weeks.” It was his turn to turn on that mocking, high pitch voice, “Benny.”

“Just cause you can’t get a girl to scream your name…”

Zapata laughed, punching him lightly on the shoulder. “She give you her work number?”

Now that thought hadn’t occurred to him. Maybe he’d gotten lost in a sea of other men. Picking up the phone he looked at his message once more.

Hey sexy.

Not a damn thing to identify him - just one text in probably a mountain of others.

“Fucking hell,” he groaned, thumbs already moving.

Hey sexy.

You’d been staring at the text all day, a flutter deep in your chest each time you opened your phone. This was the first time you’d had to really think about it, about how to respond. From the moment you went on shift it had been non-stop calls. Suddenly another bubble appeared.

Shit. It’s Benny. From the hotel.

You snorted into your mid afternoon coffee. As if you could forget. You gave a quick search for your crew, who must still be in line, before typing.

I assumed.

The reply was instantaneous. Never got your name.

You gonna run a background check on me?

No. His reply came through a minute later. Just wanna know whose name I should be groaning when I jerk off later.

Fuck, was it hot in here? It was hot in here. You felt warm suddenly, a thread of desire curling in your abdomen.

That okay?

You didn’t hesitate before sending back, Yeah but it’s gonna cost you. You waited about ten seconds before sending, Kidding.

At almost the same moment his response came through. K.

You laughed, tilting the phone away when your partner got back with his lunch. What a doof. Just for that you should make him pay for dinner. Or drinks. Or whatever you ended up doing between your busy shifts and whatever the fuck it was a moderately dirty cop got up to.

Mulling it over you swiped a french fry, ignoring your partner’s cry of outrage. Benny hadn’t seemed dirty - he seemed like a pretty nice guy. But the drugs in the room and the hired girls screamed that something hinky was going on there. And you definitely didn’t want anything to do with that.

But you really wanted something to do with Benny.

A conundrum.

The radio squawked and you answered it automatically, making note of the location and starting to make guesses on what you would need.

Before putting the phone away you typed one last message.

I get off at seven, want to meet up for coffee or something?

Coffee.

Benny could do coffee. It would almost be a date. Just you and him sitting at a café somewhere. Well, to be honest probably a Starbucks - but somewhere that wasn’t a bedroom where he might be able to get your real name out of you.

"Guy’s gonna bleed out," Henderson pointed out blandly, pulling Benny out of his musings.

"No he ain’t." Nick squatted down next to their suspect, the only guy left behind on a raid gone bad. "He’s not going to bleed out until I let him, are ya champ?"

The man groaned and Benny rolled his eyes, searching his pockets for a smoke. The second ambulance was pulling up, the first already on its way with the cop who’d gotten shot in it. Nick was pissed about that. Benny was too, to be fair, but he also thought the guy was an idiot to get shot the way he had.

Nick slapped the guy’s face lightly. "Stay with me buddy, where is the safe house? Where did your friends go?" An EMT went to push past and Nick held up a hand. "Not yet."

"Sir we have to-"

Nick whirled around, glaring daggers. "You can help him when I say you can help him. Now step back and let me do my fucking job."

The two EMTs gave each other worried glances then moved back with the stretcher. One of them turned and rushed to the ambulance, probably to call their supervisor. Even more fucking paperwork and there was no way in hell Nick was gonna do it. Benny met Zapata’s eyes and the other man raised an eyebrow before sighing and following after.

"Yeah that’s right buddy. Help is here. But I’m gonna pronounce you dead on scene real fucking quick if you don’t-"

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Someone shoved past Benny and he had just enough time to register the uniform and the voice before you squared up with Nick, arms akimbo. Benny’s cigarette dangled from his lips, unlit.

"I’m doing my fucking-" Nick started but you took a step closer, poking a finger into the center of his chest.

"No, you’re keeping me from doing mine. Dave, Jorge, get in there. Now."

The two men darted in, ignoring the glare from Nick. "You are interfering with an-"

You cut him off again and Benny imagined he could see steam coming out of Nick’s ears. "I swear to God if you finish that sentence I will have your badge." 

Nick glared. You glared. Benny had half a chub. The two EMTs lifted the suspect onto the stretcher. Finally Nick grunted, "Connors, go with them, see if you can get anything."

The man nodded and followed the EMTs. You nodded once, decisively, then turned on your heel. You looked taken aback to see Benny and he gave you a small smile when he saw how your face lit up at the sight of him.

"Hey," you squeezed his arm as you went by. "Gotta go. Later right?"

He watched your ass as you jogged off, hopping into the front of the ambulance and expertly guiding it out of the assembled police vehicles. He waited until you were out of sight before turning back to his team.

"What?"

"That the hooker from last night?"

Benny sipped his coffee, eyebrow raised. "Don’t know what you’re talking about, I saw a stretcher jockey."

Nick turned quickly, "The hooker?"

Zapata was back, hands shoved in his pockets. "Tried to stop her boss, she threatened to fucking deck me."

"You let a little girl scare you?" Nick asked incredulously.

"Well she wasn’t about to fuck me."

Nick fumed, hands gesturing wildly. "What the fuck is going on?"

"The EMT," Zapata said before Benny could stop him. "The chick that came running here like a bat out of hell? Benny’s girl?"

Nick wasn’t dumb.  "Wait, that was the girl? The one screaming through the walls?" Benny didn’t confirm it, there was no need. The recognition was flowing over Nick’s face like a wave. "Find out who she is. Report her for conduct."

"Wait a fucking minute," Benny’s styrofoam cup hit the ground, his hand catching Nick’s elbow. "That’s not-"

"Did you see what she just did?" Nick rounded on him. "We may have just lost our only lead because of her. I want her reprimanded. I want her under review. I want her fucking mom to know how she pays her fucking rent."

Benny groaned, meeting Henderson’s eyes. Then he pulled out his phone and texted you back. 

Yeah, he needed to see you. Seven worked.

You were running late. 

A lot late.

You’d managed to send Benny a quick text to let him know, thankfully, but it meant that you were pulling into the parking lot for the little coffee shop more than a half hour late. Frantically, you leaned up to look at yourself in the rear view mirror, swiping some color on your lips and wishing that you’d thought of bringing more. You stripped your uniform shirt off and quickly emptied your pockets of anything too ridiculous.

It would have to do. 

Benny was already there, sitting outside and thumbing through his phone. You paused a moment and watched him, a smile tugging on your lips as you realized you’d never seen him in daylight. His hair wasn’t black, in the sun you could see the deep brown highlights in it. Jesus, he was handsome.

He stood when he saw you, rising to his feet and reaching to pull your chair out and you sank into it with a sigh and an apology already sprinting to your lips which he brushed off instantly.

"Don’t worry about it, I know as well as anyone how these shifts run over. Can I get you something?"

You gave him your order and busied yourself with your phone while he was gone, the early evening California sun finally cooling into something reasonable and not unbearably hot.

"Here ya go," he slid your cup over and you wrapped your fingers around the warm plastic. 

“I gotta warn ya,” he grimaced, “my boss isn’t too happy with how things went down today.”

“The big guy with the bad attitude?” you asked before snorting. “I don’t answer to him.”

“He’s gonna report you,” Benny continued.

“For saving a guy’s life?”

“For the other thing.” You must have looked confused and he made a vague gesture with his cup. “You know… the thing.”

“I do not know.”

“Last night.”

Brow furrowing, you raised one eyebrow at him. “He’s going to report me for the party with all the drugs? Your party?”

“Not my party,” he quickly demurred, “but… yeah. Probably not the drugs part but the other part.”

It clicked suddenly and your eyes widened. “You? He’s going to report… me and you?” His lips were a thin line and your heart sank. “You’re married.”

He blinked at you and then recoiled, “What? No.”

What else could it be, though? “Oh God, I slept with a married man. My mother is going to kill me.”

A hand grabbed at yours and he gripped you hard enough to draw your eyes to his. “I’m not married, sweetheart.”

“Then why would anyone care that we slept together?”

He worked his jaw, glancing around before leaning in closer. “The business part of it.”

Okay, you had no idea what was going on. “The hell are you talking about?”

“I know I didn’t pay you, but-”

“Pay me?” You burst out, “For-?”

Oh shit.

“You think I’m a hooker.”

It wasn’t a question and Benny’s eyes darted to the side before he answered. “I know you said you’d just started but-”

"I’m not," you swallowed, feeling your face heat up. "I’m not a… Jesus."

"Oh." He paused, staring over your shoulder. "Fuck."

“I mean I get it,” you rushed out, “I knew Monica got paid… I just thought. I mean, you and I, I thought we…” you trailed off as you looked at him. "I’m sorry… if that’s not what you wanted that’s okay. We can just forget-"

“Baby, when you said you don’t usually-”

“I said I don’t,” you corrected quickly.

“Do this sort of thing-” he trailed off suddenly, staring at you. “You telling me you really just stumbled into all that?”

Oh God, this was so fucking embarrassing. You looked anywhere but at him, trying to figure out how you could get out of the situation. “Yes.”

“Shit.”

This could not get any worse. “I should go.”

His hand was holding yours in an instant, his eyes intense, “Don’t do that. I fucked this up. Jesus… I really should have taken you somewhere nice."

A wide smile broke out on your face and you began to laugh. Benny’s eyes shot up to yours and after a moment you saw his lips pull into a smile as well. Then he was laughing too and you felt a bit of tension ease off of you.

"I should have guessed," you wheezed once you caught your breath. "I knew Monica was… an entrepreneur, I just thought you realized…”

"I shouldn’t have assumed," he butted in. 

"Benny," you replied with a scolding frown, but you could barely hold the expression from the laughter still bubbling past your lips. "How could you not?"

"Well," he took a sip of coffee and leaned back in his chair. "That outfit the first night should have been a dead giveaway."

You gasped dramatically. "How dare you, I looked great."

"You did," his eyes roamed over you for a moment and you felt suddenly warm. "You do."

Biting your lip you tried not to tug on your t-shirt. Or your cargo pants. Benny didn’t seem to notice, in fact he looked serious. More than that, he looked turned on. His tongue slowly licked along his lower lip, his eyes warm as they drifted down to your chest.

"Wait, if you weren’t there to make money, why’d you come back the second time?"

"I told you," you shrugged. "I went to find you."

Another one of those glances around - Benny seemed to always have an eye out on who might be watching - and then he slid into the chair closest to yours, a hand settling on your thigh. His face is so close you could see the flecks of amber in his eyes. 

“Keep saying things like that and I’ll start to think you like me.”

It was so easy to lean forward, to cross the small distance and kiss him. It was short, sweet even, and you saw his eyelashes flutter as you slowly pulled back. “Benny I-”

It’s like lightning, how quick he moved, one hand jerking at your thigh and the other cupping the back of your neck. He’s devouring you, his tongue thrusting inside until you’re moaning and wrapping your fingers into the edges of his shirt.

“Ahem.”

The impolite cough came from over your shoulder and Benny broke the kiss to glare at whoever had done it. You’re too stunned to speak, lips parted and panting breaths making you dizzy. When his eyes met yours again he leaned forward slightly before stopping himself with a rueful smile.

“Stop looking at me like that or I’m going to fuck you on this table.”

“Please?”

It was not what you meant to say but then again, it was exactly what you wanted. There’s a sharp scrape of chair legs and suddenly Benny is standing next to you, holding a hand out. “You coming?”

Your teeth sank into your bottom lip. “Soon I hope.”

He growled and pulled you towards the parking lot, eyes scanning over the assembled vehicles. It was still broad daylight and you were curious if he really intended to take you in the backseat of some Prius.

Actually, there was no way Benny drove a Prius.

“I live about fifteen minutes away.” He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it and making him look even hotter. “I know I should -”

You don’t let him finish the thought, squeezing his hand and fishing your phone out to the Maps app. “Where is it? I’ll follow.”

He rattled off the address quickly but seemed reluctant to let you go, cupping your cheek and giving you another one of those soul-stirring kisses before finally nodding and turning towards a beat up pickup.

Yeah, that made sense. And you may have made a mental note that it had a bench seat. It was just good information to keep track of.

His apartment was a shithole.

Benny had run at least two lights on his way back, eager to beat you and have some time to make the place presentable. A sweep of his arm got rid of an empty pizza box and assortment of beers into the trash. He alternately sorted clothes and junk into his hamper, shoving it into a closet just as there was a knock on the door. He glanced into the bathroom - putting the seat down - and then the bedroom which looked fine. 

It would have to do.

The door was only halfway open when you pushed your way inside and he had the presence of mind to shove it shut with one hand even as your lips found his. He had wondered if last night might have been a fluke - a little too much to drink and the sheer shock of seeing you again. But you were warm and soft and pliable beneath his palms even as you backed him up to his couch.

You settled into his lap, fingers drifting over his neck and he shuddered at the gentleness of it. Lips soft on his and he moaned, curling his fingers around your hips and tugging you closer. Your fingers were struggling with the buttons of his shirt and he let go of you just long enough to undo the bare minimum, pulling the cloth over his head and tossing it to the side. The next moment he had his t-shirt off too, shivering when your fingers sank into the whorls of hair on his chest.

“Benny,” you gasped and he snarled in return, gripping your neck so he could kiss you even deeper. Your t-shirt landed next to his and he undid your bra with a practiced flick of his fingers.

“Look at these tits,” he grunted, cupping them in his palms. With a low groan he dipped his head down, softly tonguing at the peaked flesh. You squeaked in return and he smiled, nibbling softly before moving to the other.

He almost missed your hands dipping between your bodies, pulling at his zipper and then those hot fingers were pressed to the cotton of his briefs. There was no fucking way he could miss that, and especially not when you stroked along his length until you found the slit you could slip inside and touch his bare skin.

“Take your pants off?”

He was nodding before you finished, setting you on your feet and toeing his boots off. You shimmied out of your own pants with a little hip wriggle that made the corners of his mouth turn up. Grey panties you probably got at Target. Nothing sexy about it at all, other than the fact that they were on you. They were the sexiest thing he’d ever seen there.

That was, the sexiest thing until you dropped to your knees between his thighs and put that hot little mouth on him.

“Fuck me,” he groaned, resisting the urge to grip at your hair. Lot of women didn’t like that and there was no way he was going to risk you stopping just yet. Your fingers tugged at his waistband and he lifted his hips to help out, hardly noticing they were still hanging on one ankle when you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his stomach.

“You made me feel so good last night,” you murmured and he felt a shiver crawl down his spine. “I’ve been thinking all day about returning the favor.”

His mouth was dry, his eyes wide. You glanced up at him through long lashes, flashing a quick smile before taking the head of his cock in your mouth.

“Ah fuck,” he groaned again. Everything was soft and wet and he could barely think straight. You made a little moan of pleasure and it shot straight to his balls.

Benny had had his fair share of blowjobs in his life. Not as many as he might have liked, but a fair few. There’d even been a girl back in his twenties who could deep throat like a champ. No gag reflex at all. She was batshit crazy too, but he’d cared less about that at the time.

He’d had women suck him like a hoover in the front seat of his truck. On their knees in the shower while he held wet hair back for them. Sprawled on his bed on a Sunday morning while he drifted between sleep and wakefulness.

But not one of them had enjoyed it this much. Not one had made such pleased little noises, nuzzling against him and humming not for his pleasure, but because they couldn’t seem to help it.

“You like doing that?” he asked, trying to keep the note of incredulity out of his voice.

You released him with a pop, giving him a wide smile before biting your lower lip. “Is it too much?”

“Fuck no.” He wrapped a cautious hand behind your neck, thumb stroking under your ear. “It’s just right, baby.”

You let him pull you forward, mouthing at the head of his cock before taking it deep once more. Your fingers stroked along his thighs, thumbs rubbing across the sensitive flesh so softly it made him squirm. He let his head fall back, jaw hanging slack, enjoying the feel of your tongue cradling him.

But he wasn’t young anymore, and he’d be damned before he passed up another chance to fuck you.

With one hand he eased you away from him, taking a moment to get himself under control. You blinked up at him with another one of those worried expressions and he quickly pulled you back into his lap, cupping his hands around your jaw and diving in to taste you.

His bed felt a million miles away but he had promised you something nicer and he was going to fucking deliver on that. A gentle nudge had you on your feet and he followed, pulling you in for a kiss and guiding you backwards towards his room. There was a moment where you hit your hip on a door frame and he ran a soothing palm over it even as he reached out to flip the light.

“Get on the bed.”

It was a growl, low and deep and full of every drop of his own want. But you did as he said without question, crawling onto the flannel bedspread and giving him a sultry look over your shoulder.

“You coming?”

He took his time, studying the arch of your back while he slid open his bedside drawer. He flicked the condom onto the bed and then set his knee next to it, sliding a hand along your flank.

Smack.

You let out a startled yelp and he rubbed his fingers over where it must have stung. “Couldn’t help myself.”

You started to turn, sitting up, but he slid behind you - gripping your waist with one hand and reaching up to cup the base of your neck with the other. His cock nudged against your panties and even through the thin cotton he could feel how slick you were.

“You ready?” he asked with a low groan, watching as you arched your back and folded in front of him, head resting on your arms. 

“Fuck me Benny.”

No need to tell him twice. He ripped the foil open with his teeth, rolling the condom on and then slipping your panties down. You helped him shimmy them off, resettling your knees wider as he pulled you back to him. He gave short, shallow thrusts against your heat. Not trying to slip inside, just feeling you coat him. On one he pressed up against your asshole and heard you squeak.

It was goddamn adorable.

“Maybe next time,” he murmured with a smirk, holding the base of his cock and lining himself up. You might’ve tried to answer but whatever it was turned into a long moan as he slid inside. 

It was sheer bliss, feeling you clench around him. He could feel every shuddering exhale from your body, every quiver. His head rolled back on his shoulders and he gripped at your waist as he fell into a rocking rhythm.

But it felt too impersonal, too distant. This position might be good for another time but he was still getting to know you, still learning all of the things that made you moan and squirm. He couldn’t tell from here, couldn’t see your face, couldn’t see how you reacted as he searched for what was going to make you come.

“C’mere,” he grunted, pulling at your shoulder and sitting back, settling you on his lap. From here he could rub his lips on your neck, tilt your head to the side and study your face while he fucked up inside of you.

“Benny,” you moaned, reaching one hand back and sinking it into his hair. He cupped your tits in his hands, thumbing at your nipples and watching as you bit into your lip hard enough to leave a mark.

“You gonna come like this?”

“I think-” you panted and he slid a hand down, delving between your thighs and finding your swollen clit. The sound you made went straight to his cock, thighs shaking and fingers tightening in his hair until it almost hurt.

“That’s it, sweetheart, chase it.”

You called his name when you came and he had to admit, he liked that part. Had liked it last night and even more tonight. He sank his teeth into your shoulder, pumping his hips and filling the condom with cum he’d much rather see dripping out of you.

Panting breaths came from you both, chests almost in sync. He nuzzled against your neck, tilting his head slightly until you finally loosened your grip on his hair.

“Good?” he asked, hiding a smile when you snorted in return.

“Passable, maybe we should give it another shot.”

With a grin he collapsed onto the bed next to you, pulling at your shoulders until you fell into his arms. He needed to get up, tie off the condom and see if he had a clean washcloth to offer you. But that could wait for later. Right now he had one itching mystery he hadn’t yet solved.

“I still don’t know your fucking name.”

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[erimeows]

Like This (NSFW)

Kakashi’ Hatake’s legs dangle off of the edge of the Hokage monument as he glances at Might Guy, who is sitting next to him. The other shinobi is distracted, staring at the string of stars that litter the pitch black sky like fairy lights, but Kakashi doesn’t mind.

“It’s been more than two weeks since you’ve been in town, Sukea! I wasn’t expecting to see you so suddenly,” Guy starts. His deep onyx gaze is still straight forward in a way that has the starlight shining beautifully against his sun-kissed skin. On one hand, Kakashi wants Guy to be looking at him rather than at the village they’ve both seen a million times over. On the other, he doesn’t, because Guy wouldn’t really be looking at him. Rather, Guy would be looking at Sukea, the alter ego and disguise that Kakashi has been fooling him with for over a year now. Though Kakashi has done a good job of hiding the truth thus far, there are evenings like this one where he feels as if Guy can see straight through all of it. “But I’m glad you invited me out here tonight even though you only just got back. It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you as well,” Kakashi says, swallowing tightly. He offers up a forced smile and runs a hand through his hair to make sure that the brown, fluffy locks are still perfectly in place as they should be with his partial-transformation jutsu. A full transformation would be much easier to manage for such a risky situation, as he wouldn’t have to worry about the purple face-tape beneath his eyes and the matching eye-shadow that cover his scar or the makeup on his eyebrows potentially coming off, but he spends so much time with Guy in this form that the full transformation would eat up all of his chakra. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

The words should make Kakashi’s heart flutter, but they don't. They’re not meant for him- they’re meant for Sukea, this fake person that he’s created so selfishly. 

There are times- like right now- where it hurts. There are nights where Kakashi goes home and finds himself restless with the pain of wishing that Guy was in love with him and only him rather than with Sukea, who Guy is convinced is an entirely separate person. There are days where Kakashi drowns in guilt because he’s purposely deceiving his best friend.

But, he’s happier like this, and so is Guy.

Because like this, he isn’t Kakashi Hatake. He is not the man with a tragic past full of death and failure, nor is he the shell of a person he’s confined himself to be. Like this, he doesn’t avoid intimacy at all costs. He doesn’t push those closest to him away and spend all of his free time in solitude.

Like this, he is simply Sukea. No last name to remind him of his father. No trauma. Just a traveling photographer with a loving heart and a knack for mischief. 

For all Guy knows, Sukea comes from a boring nuclear family who lives in a far off civilian town. 

For all Guy knows, he’s at least a little bit normal- and Kakashi is desperate to keep it that way. 

So, when Guy stands and offers a hand to help him up- even though he still isn’t used to another man’s hands being used to lift him up rather than to hurt him- he takes it, stands, and wraps an arm around Guy’s waist with a smile- because he’s going to convince Guy that he is truly like this for as long as he can.

“So, shall we take this to your place?” Sukea says, knowing full well that he could never take Guy back to his shitty little apartment. 

As always, Guy grins down at him and pulls him closer. 

“I’d like that.”

~

The next morning, Kakashi slips out of Guy’s apartment window and makes his way home before the older man can wake up and convince him to go out for breakfast. He leaves no indication of when Sukea will be back in town to make things easier on himself and crashes the moment he gets back to his own apartment for a long nap. 

“God… I should really stop doing this,” Kakashi mutters to no one but himself upon waking from his slumber. His back is sore, there’s hickeys left on his neck and down his chest, and his legs still feel like gelatin. Memories of Guy gently wiping him down and pressing kisses against the marks left on his skin flash behind his eyes. “One of these days, it’s going to catch up with me… Oh well. Guess I should take a shower.”

After scrubbing the smell of Guy off of him and trying his best to distract himself from their rendezvous, Kakashi goes to sit on his favorite bench in the village to read the first volume of Icha Icha. As much as he’d love to go on a mission right now, he’s already reached his quota for the month and is stuck in the village until further notice (because according to Lady Tsunade, he can’t drown himself in work just because Naruto and Sasuke are gone). The familiar words printed on the pages of his book bring him no comfort, though, as Guy’s chakra signature draws near.

“Kakashi, my dear rival!” Guy calls, leaping down from a nearby tree and joining Kakashi on the bench.

He sits far too close for Kakashi’s comfort and tosses an arm over his shoulder. Kakashi shuts his book as subtly as he can and pretends that the hairs on the back of his neck aren’t standing up right now.

“Guy,” He speaks, bristling underneath the sensation of Guy’s clothed arm against the back of his neck. It’s surprisingly warm. Just like his touch was last night. Rather than looking over at Guy, Kakashi stares at the cover of Icha Icha as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “What’s up?”

“Right now we’re tied at fifty two wins to fifty two wins- I was thinking we should settle the score by having an eating contest at Ichiraku!” Guy explains with a hopeful smile. When Kakashi finally meets his eyes, he can see the utter love and adoration in them. “What do you say?”

It makes Kakashi’s heart hurt because he knows that even with Sukea as a part of his life now, Guy still can’t let go of him. Guy is still in love with him just as much as he is with Sukea and it’ll probably remain that way.

“An eating contest, hm?” Kakashi asks, standing up so he can put some distance between the two of them.

‘Sounds like an excuse for a lunch date… Classic Guy.’

Kakashi shakes his head and starts to walk away, only for Guy to follow close behind him and continue rambling about the ‘eating contest’. All Kakashi can think about is why he keeps doing this to the both of them when he knows the kindest thing to do would be to stop using the Sukea disguise and cut Guy off completely. 

Kakashi supposes there’s a logical explanation for why he’s been doing this for so long, when he gets down to really thinking about it. 

He’s selfish. 

Is said explanation morally justifiable? Not really. But, to him, it makes sense. Guy has had an obvious crush on him since they were children. Kakashi refuses to date him, citing a lack of interest as his reason even though they both know that’s not it. The real reason is that he’s scared of getting too close only to get burned and ruin their two-decade-long-friendship for the sake of romance. 

Determined not to have his fears come to fruition, Kakashi remained hellbent on keeping his and Guy’s friendship completely platonic, but the constant complaints about a dull love-life and lack of passion that he’d heard from Guy became tiresome following the last Chunin exams. 

Kakashi devised a simple solution; transform into his Sukea disguise, catch Guy at his local bar, and charm him just enough to distract him from Kakashi for a little while.

It was a perfect plan. 

The catch?

It worked too well. What was supposed to be a night of magic and romance to get Guy’s spirits up turned into a one-night-stand, which turned into a series of real dates, which has turned into a relationship that they haven’t quite put a label on. This has been going on for over a year and Kakashi swears that it’s a miracle he hasn’t blown his cover yet.

“Yes- an eating contest will be a true test of endurance, stamina, and willpower!” Guy rambles on, snapping Kakashi back to reality. “What do you say?”

“Mah, I’m not feeling it today. Thanks for the offer, though,” Kakashi rejects the invitation and makes another attempt to walk away, only for Guy to stand in front of him.

Kakashi gulps. He’s suddenly reminded of all the nights he’s spent as Sukea lately; of the muscular body that’s currently blocking his path being used to pin him to the wall, the bed, the glass door of Guy’s shower, and every other semi-flat surface in the ravenette’s apartment. Ashamed, Kakashi stares at the dirt road beneath his feet, cheeks burning bright red underneath his mask.

“Ah, but if you refuse my challenge, you lose by default!”

“Then consider yourself in the lead. We’re at fifty two to fifty three wins now, yes?” Kakashi questions and steps around Guy. He shoves his book in one of his large pockets, knowing that he won’t be able to focus on reading it on the way home even if he wanted to. “I’ll make up for it later, so don’t worry about it.”

“Kakashi, wait!”

Much to Kakashi’s horror, Guy exclaims loudly enough that it gains the other villagers’ attention as he grabs Kakashi by the wrist to keep him from leaving.

Kakashi turns, barely meeting Guy’s gaze. He snatches his hand back so fast he’s sure it hurts both of them. The civilians that walk past them stare but don’t stop or say anything. 

“What is it?”

“It doesn’t have to be a contest, you know- we can just go get lunch together! As friends, I mean,” Guy offers, and Kakashi’s heart flutters. Part of him wants to accept the offer. The other part of him knows that it would be wrong to do so considering what he’s been doing lately. He’s not even sure he could keep himself from word-vomiting the truth. “If the contest is too much for you today… It’ll be my treat.”

It’s hard to say no. Kakashi knows he needs to, but ever since Sasuke and Naruto left the village, Guy has become increasingly concerned about him. In turn, Guy has been trying to spend more time with him. The problem with that is that Guy refuses to give up no matter how many times Kakashi rejects him- probably because he can tell that, deep down, Kakashi wants him back and just refuses to act on it.

“I’m good.”

“Kakashi, please,” Guy begs, onyx eyes pleading. Guilt makes Kakashi’s stomach sink like heavy, ink black tar. “I know you have a lot going on right now, but you can’t keep doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“Shutting everyone out! You were doing so much better until Sasuke went rogue-”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Kakashi snaps. “And you don’t know what I’m going through or how I’m doing, so don’t pretend that you have any idea. We’re rivals, yes, and we’ve been friends for a long time, but none of what has happened since Sasuke left is any of your business.”

Guy steps back, crosses his arms over his chest, and lets out a sigh of defeat. 

“Are you seriously going to do this again?”

“Yes,” Kakashi nods. “I’ll continue to do what I think is best for the both of us, and right now, that means keeping my distance.”

“You’re wrong,” Guy argues, but he makes no move to stop Kakashi from leaving this time.

“Maybe I am, but if that’s true, and I realize it later down the line, I’ll come to terms with it on my own. I don’t need you to tell me. You’re not my parent, nor are you my partner, a therapist, or anyone else who would be even remotely qualified to meddle in my personal life like you do. Stay out of it.”

“Fine,” Guy spits. Kakashi can practically hear the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “If that’s how you really feel-”

“Listen,” Kakashi interjects. He hates how good Guy is getting at changing his mind about these sorts of things. “We can get lunch, but don’t think I’m going to magically open up to you, alright? I just want to be left alone… And after we get lunch today, you need to leave me be for a while. I’ll come to you when- or if- I need you. I promise.”

Guy looks angry- like he wants to lash out and yell, like he wants to chew Kakashi out for treating him like shit and pushing him to the side for the past twenty years- but that expression quickly settles into something more defeated that Kakashi can’t stand the look of. Guy sighs, and finally, agrees. 

“Alright, Kakashi… What would you like to eat?”

~

Lunch with Guy that day is awkward and tense, to say the least. They eat, but no conversation is had. Guy pays the tab and they part ways after practically scarfing down their food to get out of the awkward social situation.

Kakashi regrets giving in and going in the first place. By the time he gets back to his own apartment, he’s tired and wracked with guilt over the argument- and worst of all, unable to distract himself by going on missions or training with his team of Genin. Reading through all of his Icha Icha books hasn’t managed to get his mind off of it either. 

Who would’ve guessed that reading a romance novel would make him think about the situation more? Surprisingly, not Kakashi himself.

After hours of lamenting, the Jonin grumbles and rolls out of bed so he can grab the disguise from his closet; green rain coat, beige scarf, black eye contacts, and purple face tape. He pads into the bathroom. The pitter-patter of tiny paws against his wooden floors follows close behind. 

As he starts to apply the concealer over his eyelid to cover his scar and then over his arm to cover his tattoo, Kakashi can already feel Pakkun’s beady eyes burning holes of judgment into him. The pug drapes himself over Kakashi’s bare feet and grumbles.

“Going to see Guy again, are you?”

“Sticking your nose in my business again, are you?” Kakashi shoots back, not even sparing Pakkun a glance. He carefully covers his Sharingan with a contact lense and applies the purple tape beneath his eyes.

“As always,” Pakkun retorts. “Sort of weird that you’ve been doing this to the poor idiot for, what, a year?”

“Trust me, I know it’s weird, but you’re not my therapist-”

“Or anyone else who would be qualified to give you life advice, I know. The whole situation is just ridiculous… Can’t help but ruminate about it when it comes up.”

“What are you gonna do, tell him?” Kakashi hums and moves his feet out from underneath Pakkun so he can slide his shoes on. Finally, he performs a partial transformation to change his hair, make his figure a little bulkier, and slides on his shoes. “Again, it’s not your business.”

“And yet you vent to me about it once a month. If you didn’t want me to know, you wouldn’t tell me… And you also wouldn’t come back so often reeking of sweat and hair gel.”

“Look, I’m gonna get out of here, okay? I’ll see you later. I don’t know where the others are right now, but whenever they get back, there’s cooked steak and veggies for you all in the fridge; you just have to heat them up.”

Pakkun nods and briskly walks out of the room, probably to go lay in Kakashi’s bed and coat the sheets with his hair since he knows the man is going to be leaving. Kakashi doesn’t even bother scolding the Ninken or trying to get him to stop, instead packing a small overnight bag (even though he never stays long enough to fall asleep) and heading out.

The streets in Konoha are loud and bustling despite the time of night. The moon shines down on the village as civilians and ninja alike go up and down the streets, popping in and out of shops and chatting. Many travel in pairs, arm in arm, hand in hand, looking at each other with adoration in their eyes. Kakashi blends in with the crowd easily since he’s missing his ninja gear, and since he does, no one bats an eye in his direction- even while he blatantly stares at the couples he passes who are so blatantly putting their love for each other on display. He wonders if, maybe someday, him and Guy could do that- with him as himself, rather than as Sukea. 

With a frown, he shakes his head to clear it of the thought. He isn’t sure he wants to open that can of worms any time soon, let alone tonight when he’s already emotional. 

Quickly, he enters the residential area where Guy’s apartment is located and makes his way to the older man’s door. He knocks and is unsurprised when he gets an immediate answer.

“Sukea!” Guy greets, a beaming smile on his face. Kakashi- Sukea, now- isn’t sure whether he should feel excited or guilty. “I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.”

“What can I say? I missed you too much to stay away.”

Guy’s apartment is stupidly perfect in a way that makes Sukea’s heart throb in his chest when he’s there. With seasonal potpourri bowls in each room that make the place reek of pecans and apples, old pictures of them and all of their friends hung unevenly on the walls, and training gear strewn about, Sukea thinks he could stay forever before remembering that he can’t. So, he enjoys it while he can, grinning when Guy pulls him into his arms, lifts him up, and carries him into the bedroom.

~

Sukea wakes up the following morning and realizes three things.

One, the bedroom is no longer lit by the lamp on Guy’s nightstand but by natural sunlight that comes pouring through the blinds.

Two, he fell asleep the night before without realizing it, meaning that it must be morning.

And three, he can’t maintain any jutsu in his sleep, so he is now Kakashi rather than Sukea. Yet, when he rubs the sleep out of his eyes, Guy is still very much there. The ravenette has a soft smile on his face as he runs a hand through Kakashi’s silver hair and leans forward to press a kiss against Kakashi’s cheek. Kakashi, on the other hand, panics. Guy clearly sees said panic in Kakashi’s face and reacts accordingly.

“Kakashi… It’s okay, you know,” Guy tries to comfort Kakashi and reaches forward for him to no avail. 

Kakashi thinks he must look like an idiot as he jerks away and sits up to furrow his brow and dwell on why the fuck Guy is acting like his usual reassuring, loving self instead of losing his mind at the fact that he’s been being tricked for over a year. Incredibly self-conscious, Kakashi rips the blanket that they were previously sharing from Guy and uses it to cover his body as well as the lower half of his face. If he weren’t already embarrassed about the Sukea predicament, he definitely is at the prospect of Guy seeing him- as himself- completely nude.

“Wait,” Kakashi breathes out and reaches up to remove the single contact in his Sharingan before allowing it to flutter shut. The contact is haphazardly tossed in Guy’s bedside trash can, which is also full of empty water bottles, beer cans, and used condoms from the night before. Kakashi’s face flushes pink in a mixture of embarrassment and horror. “You knew?”

“Uh,” Guy clears his throat, his cheeks also darkening. “Yes? You didn’t… Wait, did you not know that I knew?”

“Why didn’t you… I didn’t… I mean, um, I should probably just go,” Kakashi scrambles to stand up with the blanket wrapped around him so he can get his clothes back on, but in the midst of his panic, he trips and falls over one of his abandoned shoes. Thankfully, Guy rolls over to the edge of the bed and gets up just in time to catch Kakashi by the waist and steady him on his feet. When Kakashi tries to slip away, Guy shakes his head, to which Kakashi groans and closes both eyes. “Please, just let me leave. I’m humiliated enough as it is and I understand that you’re probably pissed, but I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I’m not just going to let you run away from this, too. We need to talk- there’s clearly been some sort of miscommunication here!”

“What’s there to talk about?” Kakashi sighs. Guy lets him pull away, but this time, he doesn’t run, opting to sit on the edge of the bed with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “I mean… If you knew… Why did you let me continue? What exactly does this mean to you?”

“Well, when you’re like this…” Guy pauses, sits down next to Kakashi, and reaches under the blanket to hold his hand. Against his better judgment, Kakashi reciprocates and intertwines their fingers. Guy’s touch is warm and genuine, just like the man himself. Although Kakashi isn’t anticipating a reaction of anger and betrayal anymore, he’s still conflicted- and, more importantly, confused. “It’s the only way you let me in. I know, it went too far, but… I assumed that we were both in on it. Did you seriously think you could fool me with a disguise like that?”

“Would you be mad if I said ‘yes’?”

“No, I can’t be mad at you,” Guy laughs and shakes his head. When Kakashi glances over, the older man is wistfully staring at the old picture of them that’s hung on the wall across from where they’re sitting. “Just frustrated with you… Don’t you remember the first time I saw you as Sukea?”

“Of course I do.”

“I guess I should’ve actually asked you about it instead of just assuming, but even though it took me a few minutes to figure it out that night, I did, and I assumed it was intentional… Like you wanted the connection I was so desperately trying to initiate with you but felt as if you weren’t allowed to have it as yourself. Like you did it with the intention of us both being in on it and just… Not talking about it in our day to day. I get that, as a ninja, it’s easier to keep your personal life separate from your work life- you’ve always been that way, but for you, I’ve always been a part of both faucets of your life and you were just so desperate to keep the two separated despite that.”

“Well, that assumption wasn’t completely wrong… I think I understand, and I’m sorry for everything. Are you really not mad at me?”

“I’m not mad, but I am offended on your behalf since you thought all this time that you had to use this- this alter ego of yours to get me to fall in love with you! Kakashi, I’ve always loved you for you- and I love Sukea, too. I understand that he’s a part of you, and that you find comfort in being him, but… I love all of you equally, not just Sukea. What did you think would happen when I found out? That I’d lose my mind and abandon you over this? That I’d be angry?”

Kakashi lets out a nervous laugh.

“Well…” He trails off, allowing the sheet to drop completely so Guy can see his face; his awkward grin, the mole he’s always been self conscious about, his red cheeks, his nose- which is a little crooked after the break he suffered from that one fight however many years ago.

“That’s exactly what you thought, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you’re wrong,” Guy leans forward to rest a hand on either side of Kakashi’s face. He holds it tenderly in his grasp as if Kakashi is fragile, as if he’s something to be cherished. The sweetness of it has Kakashi melting onto Guy’s soft sheets. “I love you, and I love every part of you. You know that.”

“I… Suppose you’re right,” Kakashi murmurs. “Do you want me to leave now?”

“Do you want to leave? After all of that?”

“Well, no-”

“Then what do you want to do?” Guy asks. “Do what you want, Kakashi. Whatever you want.”

“Okay,” Kakashi nods. “I’ll do what I want, then.”

And so, Kakashi leans forward, capturing Guy’s lips with his own and laughing between kisses when the two of them tumble back into bed.

[junoniadoesart]

Hey so uh

@fishyfishyfishtimes

A friend of mine in a server I’m in wrote up a pitch/concept for a Jaws homage/parody that’s sympathetic to actual sharks and accurate to modern science. The shark didn’t actually attack anyone, the “shark attacks” were faked by a local CEO to drive down property costs for reasons. Some other things were changed as well, etc, etc.

I mentioned I know a fish enthusiast on Tumblr (you), and asked if I could share screenshots of the outline for the story with you for a casual review. They said yes.

So, would you like to see it?

[yurixangst]

Hello! I posted a new chapter for my RadioApple fanfic on Ao3! Here’s some doodlings:

Chasing Beatitude

Adults only! It’s rated E, but not for everybody!!

Chapter 10 snippet:

The feminine pitch in the speakers took an irregularly long pause to reply. “…Who’s asking?”

“Oh! Apologies again. We’re investigators who were hired by Lord Zestial’s estate. My… partner Al—.”

Shit. Using their real names wasn’t a good idea.

“—ecia and—.”

His dishonest introduction was cut off by a heavy hand at his shoulder spinning him around. “Excuse me?”

“What?” The innocence in his high octave was fake. “You should have a fake name.”

“I made no measure to hide my identity.” Alastor’s octave was high, as well, and accusatory. “What is a fake name going to do?”

Double shit.

This mission was off to a rocky onset. He blamed the Radio Demon for all of it. If he wasn’t caught between two determinative crossroads then maybe he could think clearer. That damn demon should’ve thought about putting together an alias, too! …So what if the specifics of the assignment were only mentioned two minutes ago! Additionally, there was a high likelihood that he would forget the fake name he just created—that was also Alastor’s fault.

UGH.

“Just go with it!”

‘Shut up.’

“Hello? Are you still there?” Their bickering was going to cost them a sale.

The radio star took the stage in his place. “Don’t mind my old chum, here, miss. This is his first case! He’s an extremely green junior detective who I’ve been devoting my precious time into training. My name is… Alecia, and this is Lucille—.”

An interjection corrected, “Luci for short.”

“Ahaha! Call him Lucille, his mother hates that nickname.” He was polite to the woman, but the facial expression shot a warning to the shorter male. Releasing the button, he growled low, “don’t permit others to use your name so casually.”

A pastel eyebrow raised. “My name? Luci isn’t my name.”

A jarring flick landed dead center of his forehead. “It’s my name for you.”

Lucifer was thunderstruck, rubbing at the sore spot.

Triple shit.

[lexygabe]

nandi mokena headcanons/rewriting/etc.

(june/11/1999)

gemini sun | taurus moon | scorpio rising

ENFP (Ne-Fi-Te-Si) - 6w5 - so/sp - 793 - Sanguine [Dominant]

general headcanons:

• either ace-het or ace-bi, cis, she/her,

• i think this is canon, but she is a gifted child in the family. she was in top 5 of the class and popular as hell,

• she is that mf of friend group that will always bring up snacks and drinks with yourself,

• her love language is making edits of funny/embarrassing photos of others with music that totally don't match vibe with anything included in edit,

• her tiktok and instagram likes are full of some people talking gibberish and cringe compilations, so if u want to get her joke you at least need to know lore of all of this people and incidents that happened x years ago,

• when we talking about memes, she loves absurdism humor, so when shakes send something to her that he thinks is funny, her face is like: 😐 how are we even related?,

• i also think she is reading the most surreal literature (franz kafka is her beloved),

• skarra pierced her ears for the first time,

• she is very loyal,

• her notes are full of stickers, adhesive gems and drawings. some of things are even written in glitter gel pen,

• her channel is pretty much all things mixed up. there is commentary, there is gaming, there is some art projects and video blogs, everybody can find something for themselfves,

• she goes to film school.

through the series (og tv show, rewriting)

SEASON 1:

• for me, season 1 starts at the time when shakes is 20 years old, so by this logic nandi is 17,

• there is no physical apperance of her, she is just mentioned by (mainly) shakes.

SEASON 2:

• at the beginning of the season her and shakes are talking about the fact that nandi moved to college (they have their little family bonding time),

• in s2e5 (el sound of silencio) spenz calls her to help him and fran, but she just listened to all of this shit and was like: ok bro 🧍🏾‍♀️*disconnects*,

• in s2e13 she tracked down skarra before this big "all stars vs supa strikas match" and interviewed him about this fucked up rivarly that him and shakes have (she saw both of them in tv last night), and why they even decided to have a bet of the pitch where they had great time together in past (like hell, nandi knew that this friendship was homoerotic, holy shit). ofc nandi "as annoying as the little shit she was" (skarra's words, not mine), she didn't take any type of crap from him about this whole situation. after this, she called shakes out on his stupid ass actions, in his apartament, and just left him with: you both are total blockheads. and shakes was like: both? who is both? wtf.

SEASON 3

• in season 3 nandi and shakes have this conversation about what nandi meant, when she literally lit into him in his own apartament before super league final. to which nandi,, replied with: ahh yeah. but this doesn't matter. at least this debt of yours and skarra's was dissolved :D. after, they had honest conversation and disscus about childhood and how this can't be put before good of the team (nandi wanted to argue with this, but then she quickly give up. all the stress that the shakes' finale cost her was enough for her),

• at this season we see more of nandi as a future filmmaker, because she trolls everyone on twitter with uploading this type of videos like fake interviews with celebrities (and with some footballers ;)),

• in college, she met woman from completely other school (remember this. i probably make headcanons for this semi canon character so wink wink) and became friends with her,

SEASONS 4-7:

• all of her story arcs focus on her career and school and on a few other events that will be described by me as i write about other women from strikas universe.

relationships with (disclaimer: i do not include her relarionship with shakes and their mom, bc it was pretty well managed in rookie season. i will probably make another post but about whole mokena's family dynamic):

• skarra: writers rotally fucked up. WASTED POTENTIAL.

their relationship definitely started as: you are my brother's (boy)friend/you are shakes' sister. and then, they became partners in crimes. when shakes, skarra and nandi went to school nandi always pulled out a card titled: don't talk to me like that, or i'm gonna call my brother and my brother's best friend. in othet occasions, skarra went to nandi and asked some stupid questions like: ey, nandi you have ruler to lend 🧍‍♂️?? (,,yo, nandi you want some hotdogs?", ,,nandi, we are going to shopping mall", ,,hey, nandi you have some time to hide a body----?"). why writers of rookie season acted like nandi wouldn't care that much about skarra, like he literally used to call nandi's mom 'auntie' wtf wtf wtf.

• klaus: YOU CAN'T TELL ME HE WOULDN'T BE HER FAV OUT OF SHAKES' TEAMMATES. nandi and klaus definitely have long conversations about shows that they watched, about ships, about premieres. they are just two little nerds with heads full of ideas <33333

• mara: me and @strudelbbg once talked about mara and nandi's possible relation and we decided that mara, when nandi was younger, probably carried her on her back and stuff. tldr mara sees nandi as "little sis 💞💞💞💞",

• others: ?

fashion headcanons

• i think she would wear these "crazy" make-ups like:

(i also think that people, who would be her fans and shakes' fans would create threads on twitter titled: nandi's makeups as team colors of supa strikas rivals')

(and nandi would reblog these posts🥰)

• has 3 pairs of dungarees,

• a lot of fandom t-shirts but not ones designed in "tomboy" way but in "girly" way, shirts with strawberry shortcake, winx club, princess peach from mario, destiny's child members etc.,

• HANDMADE RINGS, BRACELETS, NECKLACES, EARRINGS EVERYTHING,

• she is fan of crocheted clothes (especially sweaters, tank tops, knee socks),

• even tho she is popular, she wears second hand clothing and buys from smaller companies (rich people clothing ugly and she don't want to be one of them),

• wears bralettes as form of a lingerie,

• when she wears dress she NEEDS to have tights under,

• when it comes to shoes she likes: new balance, converses, CROCKS and mary janes but on a small heel.

music headcanons

• definitely had nightcore phase when she was younger,

• hates slow music,

• like i said destiny's child fan, probably likes also avril lavigne and mariah carey, and maybe blackpink.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

I couldn’t sleep last night, but desperately needed to try because I had an early morning today, which sent my brain down various useless rabbit holes, one of which was: Story Stakes.

Generally, this is something very important to communicate in your queries/blurbs/pitches/cover copies. People need to know why anything in the story matters. But a lot of people interpret stakes as, “What are the costs if they fail?” and that just seems too limited to me. It’s always an “They Win, Or Else.”

And it feels fake. You can write “Or they’ll all die,” or “The rebellion will be quashed forever,” or, “The galaxy will explode,” as much as you want, but very, very few stories actually follow through on that. To me, it doesn’t hit me with much impact, because I know it’s not a real option or risk. This is a story. Stories almost never end that way, and many of those would be hard to actually accomplish.

So maybe they’re stakes for your character. But they’re not stakes for a reader. My emotional investment in the story isn’t going to be tied to fear they might explode the damn galaxy.

I have rarely written characters who were motivated by what would happen if they failed, or had them think often about the costs of failure. Most often, I write characters who are pursuing something more and think about what they might miss out on gaining. I write characters who are going to be emotionally destroyed if they cannot succeed because they weren’t good enough/didn’t try hard enough/made mistakes.

And to me, that’s much more engaging. Will the character lose much but time and an opportunity? Maybe not. But how do you go back to the status quo when you were a fingertip away from something better?

The status quo is losing. Remaining how things were is the price of failure. You don’t have to backslide from the book’s opening for the characters to have lost. I don’t have to write an Or Else.

And I think it’s also much more likely as an ending than horrific catastrophic failure. A character losing out on something they wanted and having to emotionally confront that and move forward is actually reasonably common. A story with a bittersweet ending where things are in some ways better and some ways worse but not what the characters were hoping for are reasonably common—and they often hurt a reader worse than watching everything fall apart does.

I give characters hope and desire and if the reader doesn’t truly believe they won’t really get what they wanted, they’re at least likely to follow along for the emotional catharsis of seeing them win instead of for fear that they lose.

I’m still tired and still haven’t slept. Maybe this doesn’t make sense to anyone but me. But I prefer to lead with carrots and not sticks, especially for readers who don’t have to invest.

[lunar-years]

Looking back in Season 1, when Jamie and Dani take penalty kicks in “Two Aces”, it’s unlikely that Jamie’s actually injured and faking it to miss training, right? Unless he’s actually lost it and is on the pitch after sustaining injuries from his father for being benched? I love the Injured!Jamie fics from this scene, but I’m wondering what your thoughts are?

Ok, so I think in canon, it was truly that he was faking nonexistent injuries because 1) he was pissed off at Ted for being benched and 2) he was beyond frustrated at not understanding Ted's expectations and where his boundaries were. So I think doing that was his way of "testing the limits" and seeing just how much he could get away with before Ted completely snapped (and to that end, I think it worked a little bit better than Jamie had anticipated or prepared for. He does get Ted to snap, but it comes at the cost of Jamie being very actively triggered, which we see onscreen.) Anyway in Jamie's mind, I think he believes he can handle anything as long as he knows what's coming, and this was how he decided he was going to figure that out.

To add another layer...I do think sometimes about how Jamie had probably hid many a "minor" (read: not obviously visible to his coaches just by looking at him) injury in the past and practiced or played matches through it. What if this was the first time Jamie went to a coach and told him he couldn't play because of non-visible injuries, and that was the response? Obviously Jamie knows he's faking it and he's being a prick on purpose this time, and even though Ted doesn't respond well, I think we can at least say Ted's anger was justified. Still, I think in the moment that could've easily felt to Jamie like confirmation that he'd done the right thing by hiding all the times those injuries were actually real. If this is what happens, he was right not to tell, sort of thing. Which is like. wow, ouch.

ALSO, apropos of nothing in canon apart from his generally rancid vibes, I actually wonder if James Sr. didn't go the route of taking on a ~united front~ with his son after that particular incident. Like, in my head I can envision Jamie getting a call from his dad after that match, expecting to be berated for being benched, and instead ALL of his dad's vitriol is focused on that yankee fucker Ted Lasso. Because 1) Jamie was playing that match "well" according to his father's standards, wasn't he? He was making himself the center of attention and he was scoring goals, which is all his dad cares about. He's benched for not being a team player, James Sr. doesn't give a shit about being a team player, therefore he thinks the benching itself was unwarranted 2) I think James Sr. loathed Richmond even before Ted got there, because he doesn't want Jamie playing for Richmond, he wants Jamie playing for City. Ted's arrival offers a very convenient scapegoat to channel his resulting anger.

So i think it's incredibly possible that James took on a very buddy-buddy "Your coach is an American idiot who wouldn't understand football if the ball hit him in the face, and you deserve better than that son. We need to get you back to City, Jamie" etc. attitude. In which Jamie, thrown off further by his dad switching around the script on him, is spurred on further with thoughts he was already having: Yes, this IS all Lasso's fault, yes i AM better than this stupid team, etc. etc. Which fuels his anger and drives him to do what he does the next day in practice.

.......all of that said, I too am a sucker for fics where the injuries were real 🫣 it's such an interesting and complicated possibility to think about (and who knows, it IS still a possibility, we don't know anything for sure!) Very akin to another one of my favorite headcanons: Jamie's eyebrow slit being the result of an injury he sustains/scar he acquires between seasons 1 & 2 instead of merely a cosmetic fashion choice. Do I actually think that's what happened in canon? No, I think it’s much more likely Jamie just thought it looked cool as fuck LOL. But i loveeee exploring it in fics. it's fun to play around in the sandbox!!

[laneynoir]

In response to your request for writing ideas:

Anything featuring Boromir

Young Legolas sees Rivendell for the first time

Gelir hangs out with Radagast (yes, they were friends and I still need to write HCs about this)

Sam interacting with Boromir (I also sent this suggestion to Callon recently)

And a big hug because everything will be fine! ❤️🫂

I'm gonna write the rest of these in seperate posts and just tag but

Complete.

Boromir/reader Word count: 1001

Me on my way to drop this screw up: 🏃

Also this gets a little suggestive? I didn't mean to I swear.

Boromir just missed you.

The crack of wood breaking against wood echoes across the training grounds, multiple sparring matches stop and curious expressions are turned to the youngest who is similarly shocked, staring at the her opponent while holding a splintered training stave.

Breaths are quiet in the still morning, wisps of fog in the air more shallow than they've been since dawn. Suddenly the silence is shaken by a lifted chin as You speak, "Through that entrance ma'am, tell the man exactly what has happened and he will deal with you."

The short woman nods, only the faintest hint of a tremble wracking her body, it is quickly replaced by set shoulders and a steel exterior. When the door closes, You raise an eyebrow at the remaining students. "Standing still will not help you, back to the beginning, position one of Haradrin's style, now."

A flurry of movement answers your command, each studant eager to please, as well as desperate to not be sent off as well.

At the end of another hour, only one more trainee has broken his weapon, he looks near tears when he stiffly walks through the ornate door. Shortly after you announce the end of the session, and dismiss the tired looking youth.

With a sigh, you stretch your now sore arms, gather your gear, and head home. You too your head to the guards that you recognize in the halls, and grin when the two sent away from the training session catch your eye. "And how are the two of you?"

The young woman shakes her head. "Sore and recovering from severe fright, I thought I was being kicked out!"

"I did as well, that was a crule trick, splitting the swords so they would brake after striking in the right way enough."

You take on an expression of fake insult. "Hey now, those took a while to do properly! And really, I do like to see how my students can handle dissapointment, the wrong reaction in a fight can cost you your life."

A few moments later sees you at the entrace to your rooms. The door creaks when you open it -it always has, but since it is on pitch you never fix it- the area beyond empty, so you take the opportunity to pout at the absence of your husband.

At least he cannot poke fun at the length of the bath you take, for it is a good thirty minutes before the water has cooled ariund you and you drag yourself from the water. With vindictive pleasure you pull Boromir's largest sleep shirt over your head, after all he cant use it if he's not here.

With that depressing thought, you set to making a small dinner, and your hands are covered in flour when the sound of horns comes from beyond the window. There is a brief momment where you freeze, and then you are running to the door, slinging a cloak on against the cold.

There is a guard at the door when you arive, they do not speak, simply pulling at the handle and smirking as you race past. The paved pathways are a blur beneath your bare feet, and you take no notice of the occasional stones that prick at your toes.

The gates are already open and soldiers filter in on horses, there is cheering, but it seems quiet. Chestnut curls sway, snatching your attention instantly. You vault over the last flight of stairs, landing already in a dead sprint.

Boromir grins at your approach, steadying his mount, and when you reach his side he reaches down and pulls you up into his lap. He smirks, "Miss me?" You mumble a very eloquent 'shut up' before using his hair as a means to pull him into a deep kiss.

He pulls away, barely, and rests his head against your's. "And here I thought you wished never to make a spectacle of yourself?"

"I havent seen you in six months, heard from you in one and a half," You mumble, "For all I knew you could have been dead. I'm alowed one spectacular display under the circumstances."

"Well this display is one I wish not to see."

You grumble but accept Farimir's hand down. Boromir pulls him into a hug. "As you say my brother. I have missed you."

"Aye," Farimir smiles. "But you've missd y/n a bit more, and in a different way. I'll attend to your horse, you are long over due a bath."

"He's right." Boromir's second in command quips from behind you. "You smell like shit," He pauses and bows without loosing his grin. "My Lord." When Boromir frowns, he waves a hand. "I will take care of the report, tend to what's your's, unless you'd rather I?"

Without a word Boromir swings you out of your stance and into a bridal carry. You yelp, but he ignores your protests and continues in the same fashion until the door to your apartments is firmly shut. Once it is, he puts you down, only for you to find yourself pinned against it with a very very attentive husband attacking your lips. "You know he wouldn't have really. He was only goading you into taking some free time."

He makes a humming sound before nipping at your bottom lip. "Will you be joining me in removing the four from my hair?" You gasp as his attentions turn to your neck. "Do not sound so shocked dear one, as you come before me and my unit dressed in nothing but my shirt and cloak for all to see."

Oh. For you had, in your (compleatly reasonable) haste forgotten your currant wardrobe. " 'Suppose its all yours then," you place a finger against his lips, "Oh no no, it's your's after dinner." You wrinkle your nose. "And a bath, your brother's right you smell horrid."

[piratefalls]

i couldn't decide between Alex having thinky thoughts or funny dialogue, but look! i magically made the thinky thoughts funny, so i did get to combine the two. in other words, thanks to @priincebutt for helping me decide what vibe to go with for this week's lil snippet of psych au!

Alex is deeply aware of exactly how far reaching the consequences are if he gets found out. He’s dedicated a lot of brain space in the last few days to weighing the costs and benefits of continuing to do this, and so far what he’s been able to come up with is this:  Pro: He and Nora get to do all the mystery solving they loved as kids without all the paperwork and red tape.  Con: They get caught and all the people they help put in jail will have their cases re-examined. (They’re rock solid cases, no one’s getting exonerated over it, but the shadow it would cast over the Department? Less than ideal.)  Pro: He gets to help people, something he’s always wanted to do.  Con: The number of people he’ll hurt if they discover he’s a fraud.  Pro: Putting away bad guys.  Con: Becoming the bad guy. Any rational person would look at that list and think to themselves: “Hmm, better not”. (He doesn't know why this hypothetical person's inner voice sounds like Rebel Wilson in Pitch Perfect, but he doesn't exactly have time to interrogate it.) But that’s not how Alex Claremont-Diaz rolls. No, he’s doing a full-on Tokyo Drift right around those red flags. He’s lying his way through doing good deeds, and being fingered as a fake psychic probably wouldn’t crack the top ten on the list of ways he’s managed to disappoint the people closest to him in the past. So, as the kids say: fuck it, we ball.

no pressure tagging: @alasse9, @wellhalesbells, taking @kiwiana-writes open tag, and anyone else who posts today!