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Lost Your Marriage Certificate? Hereâs How to Get a New One
Losing your marriage certificate can be a frustrating experience, but fear not â obtaining a replacement is easier than you might think. Whether youâve misplaced it during a move or simply canât locate it when you need it, knowing how to navigate the process of acquiring a replacement is crucial. Letâs delve into the steps you need to take to obtain a copy marriage certificate, also known as a replacement or real marriage certificate- https://www.bestdcd.com/lost-your-marriage-certificate-heres-how-to-get-a-new-one/
#Marriage Certificate#fake Marriage Certificate#dublicate Marriage Certificate#Fake certificate#Replacement certificate#LostDocument#DocumentReplacement#bestdcd
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looking up if trans women could marry men in the 80s for. No Particular Reason. the answer is yes, in new jersey at least. look at us, jersey boys stay winning
#the one good thing my home state has ever done#although i say that like. nj is the state that explicitly allowed it#but it seems like there were a lot of cases where like#a couple got married and somehow the fact that one of them was trans didn't come up until divorce or death#like don't you need birth certificates to get married?#i say it didn't come up i mean like legally obvs the people involved knew#but there was like a case where a trans woman's husband died and she was like hey can i have his stuff#and the courts were like hey wait a minute. you're a dude. no you can't have his stuff your marriage was fake actually#whack#all this to say yeah steddie can get married as long as stevie like. doesn't mention it when they go to sign papers#or she does mention it but they're in new jersey#not gonna subject them to new jersey tho#terrible place don't go there#wawas good tho go to a wawa
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my most self indulgent hc that is closest to my heart and haven't talked about in years is vespa ilkay filipino (her eyes have a rage you only see in 3rd world med students)
#when u grow up in a place where going into healthcare is a ticket out of ur shithole country that exports 10000s f healthcare workers yearly#but only if you're a nurse or some other profession that can still get ordered around in hospitals#the amount of MDs i know who tried working abroad thn got their degrees & licenses rejected so they had to pick up...a wildly different job#and also vespa ilkay medtech grad real in my heart of course (points at heart of it all pt 2 the blood tells you everything)#and vespa ilkays mom ofw na unti-unting hindi na umuwi also real in my third secret heart#her network of med professional friends is fucking huge bc filipinos go into pre/med expecting half the ppl to leave for richer countries#which is to say most of my friends are already making plans of leaving for the usa/australia/singapore etc etc and some are there already#most of her college batch is scattered across the galaxy they have a groupchat named 'brain drain gang class of 2XXX' or wtv the fuck#but also college swamp girl vespa is just so dear to my heart like the mental image of her#studying under a mosquito net sweating wearing a neck fan with her illegally photocopied medical textbooks from rangian recto avenue#she broke my 'characters i love are southeast asian (in general) characers i hate and want to suffer are filipinos' rule i'm sorry queen#skl.txt#rangian recto avenue whee she gets a fake marriage certificate for her and buddy for shits n giggles#guy who knows all the alumni gives her one for free when she visits they have copies of the vesbud wanted posters behind the counter
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At 6 years old, you donned a makeshift veil and exchanged candy ring pops when you had a fake wedding with your first crush. Years passed, you received a marriage certificate in the mail claiming that now that youâre of legal age, the church and government now recognize your wedding as valid.
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Get Fake Marriage Certificate Online
HMD & Travel Agencies is a committed and reliable agency to get a fake marriage certificate online conveniently. We offer high-quality marriage certificates and maintain its originality throughout.
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Have you done any Jealous Dick or Jason, like they are yet to date the reader, or someone is hitting on their girl. (if you do female readers, otherwise GN works. Just as a girl, I think girl for gender for when I read things)
or what about fake dating trope?
Or they got drunk while on a mission in Vagas and end up married and don't find out until the marriage certificate comes in the mail. (you could do this twice, one where the boys have a crush on the reader or it is done enemies to lovers style)
doing the second one because it's ICONIC.
dick x fem reader.
i dont know what a marriage certificate looks like btw
Las Vegas was iconic. The bright city lights, the drinking, the partying... etc. Everything about Vegas was amazing. I mean, you would definitely remember, right?
Wrong. You and Dick had gone to Vegas undercover. You remember arriving at a hotel, and then, after that, you couldn't recall anything.
Neither could Dick. But he did remember a sound. It was like a loud and obnoxious bell, he described.
Currently, you and Dick sat in the living room of his apartment, trying to recall all the events that you two had forgotten about.
"So there were loud noises, right?" Dick asked. "Duh! It's Vagas. Everything is loud, Dick!" He rolled his eyes.
"Wait, so, we were supposed to just get intel on this man named "Joe Johnson," right? How'd we fuck that up?" You buried your head in your hands.
Dick sighed. "You know what? We need to go to bed. I'll drop you off at your place, 'k?" You nodded, knowing he was right. The fucker was always right.
"Thanks, Dick," you said. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a comforting hug. "Stay safe, alright?" He pulled away and watched as you entered your apartment building.
He couldn't help but grin as he opened his car door and drove away. Dick couldn't recall every little detail that happened a few weeks ago, but he knew that something between you and him happened. And he was Dick Grayson; he knew everything.
You tossed and turned in your bed before reaching for your phone on the bedside table. You turned it on, only to be greeted with dozens of texts, cryptic emails, and missed calls. You gasped.
You immediately called him back, and you weren't even surprised when he answered on the spot.
"Where are you?" He asked through the phone.
"Home. What's wrong? What happened, Dick? The emails you left me... The texts," you explained.
You could hear him frowning. "Just come over, okay? It's easier to explain in person." You sighed. "Fine, I'll be there in twenty," you said before ending the call.
You knocked on the door of Dick's apartment. He opened the door, noticing that you were soaked.
He quickly forced you inside. "Sit, fuck."
He wrapped his jacket around you and poured you some hot coffee. "Are you alright?" Dick asked. His cheeks were red, but his eyes were filled with genuine worry.
"I'm great," you replied, giving him a reassuring tap on the shoulder. "Anyway, what's up? You called me several different times."
He sighed. "Give me a minute," he said before getting up and leaving you alone in his living room.
A couple of minutes passed before he entered the living room again. But this time, he had something with him. It was an envelope.
"Open it. See for yourself," said Dick in a tired voice.
You took it from him and opened it. There was a piece of paper. You skimmed over it, seeing your name, then his, then the word "marriage."
You gasped. You had legally married Dick Grayson and had no memory of it. "Dick, what else?" you asked as you re-read the piece of paper over and over, hoping for something new to appear.
"I searched the internet. I even asked Oracle and Batman for help," he sighed. "I saw CCTV footage of us walking into a church, and a few hours later, we exited together. It's easier to show."
He took your hand and led you into his "area of operations," aka his computer, tucked in a tight corner.
Dick turned it on and dug into a few files before he started showing you masses of footage and pictures. He had managed to wipe them off the internet, because if anyone (with bad intentions) found out, the two of them would be in danger.
But obviously, he kept a secret file.
By the time you had skimmed through the footage, your lips had parted away from the frown. You sighed and looked at Dick. "This is such a shock," you finally managed to mutter.
"I know," he said, looking deeply into your eyes; it felt like he could see your soul. "Dick," you muttered. He nodded, motioning for you to continue. "I'm so scared but confused and nervous. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to feel." You sighed.
"This is all shocking." A tear slid down your cheek. Dick's thumb reached out, wiping it away. "Pretty girls shouldn't cry," he whispered softly. He leaned in and lifted your chin.
"I'm pretty?" You questioned. "You're the prettiest woman, love."
Within a blink of an eye, his lips found their way onto yours. He didn't care that you were still wet from the rain. He enjoyed your company.
His hands were tangled in your hair.
The two of you shared a passionate kiss before pulling away. "I've had a crush on you for a while now," he blurted out, his cheeks red. Dick was clearly trying to avoid your gaze.
"I mean, you're pretty... cute yourself."
"Just cute?" Dick questioned, tilting his head.
"Maybe more than that."
WILD. dick is the only man that'll ask you to come over and then say "give me a minute" by the time you're in his living room
#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#dc comics#nightwing x reader#dick grayson imagine#nightwing#dick grayson x you#dick grayson fluff#nightwing x reader smut#nightwing x you#nightwing x y/n#richard grayson#richard grayson fluff#richard grayson x reader#discowing#dc robin#robin dick grayson#dick grayson smut#nightwing fluff#nightwing smut#robin#dc nightwing
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the possibilities for bullying a girl into an inescapable marriage are endless ⊠soap finding a girl from a catholic family, getting her into bed, then âaccidentallyâ letting it slip to her family and nodding along when her mother is like âyou have to marry him itâs the only way to save yourself from sinâ
price in vegas getting blackout drunk with some sweet thin he met at the casino bar, and both of them waking up in the morning with rings. so what if price wasnât really that drunk? reader doesnât need to know that.
ghost who convinces you to marry him for the benefits so he gets better housing and you get his health insurance. you think itâs purely transactional, so imagine your surprise when he starts expecting you to perform your other spousal duties and threatens to kill the guy you were gonna go on a date with.
gaz who agrees to be your fake boyfriend for a family dinner, so you donât have to suffer through another round of âwhat do you mean youâre still single? when am i getting grandbabies?â only to realize your mistake too late when you catch him in the kitchen with your mother, promising her sheâs getting grandbabies soon.
soap's just looking at her mom like he hadn't a clue that it was that serious for "catholics" and he'll do right by them both and take her hand in marriage as if he doesn't have a crucifix around his neck that gleams against coarse hair and pale scars. as if he doesn't remember his ma giving him sharp twists to the ear because he'd made them late for sunday mass again. ofc not. and if he knows certain prayers, he'd learned for his future wife. obviously.
price is def the type to befriend the loud, drunken girl on vacation in some party city he'd just finished a job in. buys her drink after drink because she'd said she can hold her own. unsurprisingly, she was all talk no walk. she calls him handsome once, threads her fingers into his greying hair and his first stop is the nearest jewelry store. he doesn't touch the new mrs. price as she sleeps off the alcohol, he wants her awake for what he's got planned. (ghost ofc hears of his new wife and sends him a congrats text)
ghost gets signed up on tinder by soap against his knowledge will and when soap matches him with some girl only looking for fun, simon decides he's gonna give her more than that and if she's the type to try to kick him out the morning after, he's calling price to forge her signature onto a marriage certificate. (price eventually meets her and he's just like "shouldntve fed him, love. should've known he wouldn't leave." rip a girl just tryna have some sex)
kyle tells her that he needs a gf for the weekend because there's a wedding, soaps wedding actually, and she agrees. (every time she corrects him to his plus one he simply repeats himself.) he immediately goes back on his promise, "i won't even touch ya," cuz his hand is constantly roaming south, he sits her on his lap whether she wants it or not, and during the slow dancing he's prying her mouth open with his for, "just one kiss." if he fucks her in the groom's dressing room during the dinner, no he didn't. (he needs his hands on her, no one believes that they're dating:(
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Been thinking back on the early books where Crowly would just not even play coy about holding Yuu's vulnerable status in TWST over their head to do things, he's only stopped in recent books because after Jamil's overblot, Yuu's stopped going to him for things/Yuu gets involved in stuff anyways but like, imagine Ortho or any of the boys with real Means hearing Crowly do the whole "Oh I'd hate to see you on the streets, Prefect" shit and just going "not if I have anything to say about it".
STYX probably has some sort of deal with other countries for Nationality if people born there like Idia ever need ID, so i could see the Shroud brothers just asking Mum and Dad to make their buddy a fake ID so they can get a job.
Or just Kalim or Vil using their wealth to simply pay for Yuu to get all the paperwork they need and then some if Crowly continues to be skeezy about it. (And its because its me and you, Ace debating whether or not to cheekily slip a marriage certificate in with all the paperwork, if only briefly).
Azul and the Tweels Girlbossing and Gaslighting that Yuu is actually from the Coral Sea and their paperworks just been lost in the exchange program, how dare customs lose something that important! All four of them deserve compensation for the damage!
But who needs all that when Malleus just bold face says that by Divine Right he declared Yuu a sovereign citizen of Briar Valley. Whose gonna fight him in this? Just.. the boys in general making sure Yuu is OK
Ortho offers to give you any secret you want off the internet for your birthday so I definitely see the S.T.Y.X. people coming in clutch for the paperwork. It makes the most sense to me because when I read Book 6 I felt like the implication was Grim was going to be kept there past when the OB boys were returned due to him being seen as a danger, so if Grim is a matter of interest to S.T.Y.X. then Yuu probably will be too eventually. Paperwork shmaperwork they'll have ids made up for Yuu lickty split.
Malleus is another good option, but there is that pesky senate to deal with... I wonder if we will ever get an explanation of how Sebek's dad immigrated there? Could Malleus claim that he's technically doubled the human population by making Yuu a citizen because Mr. Zigvolt is the only one there for now?
and just because it's between you, me, and hundreds of our closest aceyuu friends and family, maybe yuu jokes that if they just got married then they'd have some paperwork and ace makes a great big show of "taking one for the team" even though we both know he'd really like that actually. And so would you otherwise you wouldn't be joking about it.
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how do people watch canon license enjoyer, human activity connoisseur, and rules anxiety haver aziraphale collect his driving license and gun license and take lessons in french etc and then go âheâs above human things like getting marriedâ. heâd have his marriage certificate framed over the mantelpiece.
Heâs truly the opposite of people who say âitâs just a piece of paper.â If there was a long arduous application/test you had to do for marriage heâd be extra into it. Not that I think this has/would happen in canon but I think there should be a whole category of fake relationship fics where aziraphale asks Crowley to get married just cause he wants to add the marriage license to his collection of licenses he has and they both pine while being married
#though I do know of the one where they discover theyâd accidentally or drunkenly gotten married and they find the certificate? my memory is#hazy now but it def exists
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BABE WE NEED A PART TWO OF THE CLONE DICK READER STORY
It's not part two as such, but I can give you some general ideas of what would be happening after Clone!Reader is put in the ambulance with Jackovy.
First, Dick really feels like he screwed up. And, because he has a weird big brother/father complex, he wants to see how he can fix it. Don't get me wrong, Bruce doesn't have an overnight change of heart about Clon! Reader. He's just scared now because for the first time in a long time, if not years, he doesn't have a way to hide or a backup plan about what would happen if the Reader opens his mouth.
Dick would be meddling, and very early on trying to get his other brothers involved, in Reader's rooms inside the hospital; only to find that his clone's husband is prostrate and bolted to the floor of the reader's bed.
Dick and Bruce are frustrated, because apparently the reader and his husband are in one of the few hospitals in the city that is not under the care or sponsorship of Wayne Industries. And thus, they have no legal way - no such legal way - of knowing about you and his recovery.
Jackovy ends up actually marrying the reader, since it's a really nice beneficiary marriage anyway. And he has too much time on his hands to want to fuck with people who make his favourite person in the world miserable.
The Reader would definitely ask for a birth certificate as a fake wedding present. Paz would fulfil his whim.
The funniest thing about it all? The certificate had its debut and scandal when it appeared where it really should appear in the original and true records. Tim thought it was real when he noticed that even the registration codes were - much to his and your and everyone else's surprise - correlative to each other, had they actually existed.
Jackovy signing, always in front of Bruce and Dick, the papers or talking aloud to the doctors about HIS HUSBAND'S condition.
Clone Lector asking, because she likes to fuck around and asks no less, loudly, very nicely, for HIS HUSBAND to come and help him take a shower, because the casts are uncomfortable.
Jackovy always talking or suando old slangs to give Dick an aunerisma, as he knows how it makes him uncomfortable that he looks older than the Clone! Reader.
#yandere dc#yandere#dc#tw yandere#reader#platonic yandere#yandere platonic#yandere batman#yandere x reader#yandere dick grayson#yandere male#yandere batfamily#dick grayson x reader#yandere nightwing#Clone!Reader#male reader#well reader is a clon of Dick... so yeah#reader is a male character.#oc x reader#kind off#I mean OC really cares abput reader#but in a platonic way. Yeah
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I have this VISCERAL need for an AU where everyoneâs perception of Ratiorine is completely skewed and they all think they hate each other when in reality theyâre actually married.
They had a small ceremony years ago, fully live together, have matching pajama sets, cutely bicker and have inside jokes with each other, constantly use endearments when referring to one another in public, have a combined 20 step hygiene routine, are each otherâs first choice if thereâs a mission that require 2 people, AND NO ONE BELIEVES THEYâRE MARRIED! OR EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP!
AVENTURINE EVEN SIGNS HIMSELF AS AVENTURINE RATIO ON INVITES OR LETTERS OR PAPERWORK (Kakavasha Ratio on their marriage certificate, I like to think in this AU theyâve worked through their past trauma together already), BUT EVERYONE THINKS ITâS A TYPO AND HE MEANT TO WRITE THEM SEPARATELY SINCE THEYâRE ALWAYS ASSIGNED ON MISSIONS TOGETHER.
The only people who know are the Stonehearts, and thatâs only due to Aventurineâs contract/work as IPC, so they were the ones who officiated/were witnesses to the wedding.
Everytime they all go out to get a drink or something, I need Topaz in the back looking insufferable as Ratiorine are in full lovey-dovey mode AND NO ONE NOTICES. Iâd be the same girl, they could broadcast their honeymoon and STILL people would think itâs some weird powerplay hate thing, Topaz is later found crying to Jade about how she finally understands why Ratio calls everyone idiots, how are people so blind?! Theyâve even started using the same motions and same phrases Jade, WHY CAN NO ONE ELSE SEE IT???
The only reason the Penacony plan goes off without a hitch is that everyone has the biggest preconceived notion that Aventurine and Ratio despise each other WHEN ITâS JUST THEIR USUAL MARRIED BICKERING. NO ONE CAN EVEN FATHOM THE TWO OF THEM LIKING EACH OTHER, LET ALONE MARRIED???
(In this AU, Aventurine gives up his room because the Reverie made the same mistake of not understanding the signature and assigned him and Ratio to different rooms, and now thereâs a nice clean way of getting rid of the extra room, making a connection with the Astral Express, AND rooming with his dear husband, what great luck!)
I want it to get to a point where they could fully make out in front of Sunday and the man would STILL believe that Ratio would betray Aventurine. Aventurine during the entire interrogation scene is just constantly in the state of âmy husband is such a good actor, Iâm so proud of himâ *heart eyes and winks to Ratio when Sunday isnât looking* and Ratio is just straight up looking worried for Aventurine and immediately rushes after him when itâs all over AND NO ONE BATS AN EYE
Ratio just mentally apologizing to Aventurine after every little fake fight they have and dying on the inside and doubling down on every bit of affection he can in between (and even during) the fights, and Aventurine is just having fun having his husbandâs attention all to himself no matter the form. (plus the rush of knowing just how much they trust each other always makes him warm)
Aventurine is fully ok with this weird perception people have of him and his husband since it always helps with his schemes and gambles paying off, and while Ratio wants to bash everyone in the head for even daring to think he hates his husband, he keeps quiet because he trusts that Aventurine will always come back to him and make it all work.
But thatâs not enough to stop him with showering Aventurine with adoration and love in public. If the public are too much of idiots to realize something as obvious as their love, Ratio wonât stop it from showing his dear husband just how much he means to him.
This is fully AU of course, we all know canon Ratiorine is the longest softest pining game in history. Funny enough, Topaz is still suffering in the back due to their relationship shenanigans. She better be getting some financial compensation for this, I just know Aventurine complains to her about his crush. Ratio is fully at his own place writing out thesis after thesis about the meaning of love and psychoanalyzing his own feelings. He forwards them to Topaz for review because I like to think sheâs somehow become a weird bouncing board for his frustrations about her coworker. Topaz is crying.
#honkai star rail#hsr aventurine#aventurine honkai star rail#hsr#ratio hsr#dr ratio#dr ratio honkai star rail#ratiorine#aventio#idk what else to put here#I just#we keep getting so much ratiorine food#Iâm drowning in them#I canât-#marrapost
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Ten Months as Yours
Colonel Horacio Carrillo x F!Reader
CW: Â Angst (reader is CIA and has feelings about it; failed first marriages; talk of Catholicism); smut (oral, m! and f! receiving; PiV, unprotected); 18+ only.
Word Count: Â 10,951
AN: Â This was from an "Arranged Marriage" prompt list. An anon asked for it, and it was supposed to incorporate dates where the couple gets to know each other. I, an idiot, didn't remember that until nearly the end, but if you kind of squint, you can see it.
AN2: Not edited. Not even a little bit.
AN3: Sigh. I dunno, folks. It's whatever.
Horacio Carrilloâs first marriage was standard Catholic fare: the reading of the banns beforehand, then the long wedding Mass. Heavy on the incense, crowded church, a red-faced priest droning through the Gospel. Juliana, his blushing bride in a heavy lace veil, clutching a bouquet of lilies already wilted and brown at the edges in the Colombian heat.
Then, years later, the dissolution of that marriage. Papers signed separately in the presence of lawyers after an ice age formed between the couple. Then more years of Horacio being single again, but the time slipped by like water. He was so busy with work, he hardly registered the empty house he returned to every evening.
Horacio Carrilloâs second marriage is something else entirely.
Itâs not, strictly or spiritually speaking, a real marriage. Itâs a bit of maneuvering on the  part of the U.S. government, logistical choreography as part of a larger plan. To the world at large, Horacio Carrillo is dead: murdered by Escobarâs men in a trap. Only a handful of people know the truthâthe doctor and nurses at the American hospital who healed him under a temporary alias. And this man, Johnson, a U.S. Marshal and handler for the U.S. Witness Protection program
Johnson is the sole witness to this so-called marriage, if one could even call it that. It happens on the cargo plane from Bogota to Atlanta. Johnson sits in the jump seat across from his two charges: HoracioâŠand you.
Horacio doesnât even learn your real name. Thereâs no exchange of vow and certainly no incense or bouquet of lilies. Instead of a blushing bride, thereâs a silent one. Your mouth is set in a thin, straight line as you listen to Johnsonâs rundown of your new life, and every time Horacio chances a look at you, he only sees the tension in you. Grim-set mouth, clenched jawâŠand the white edge of a bandage on your temple, mostly hidden under the sweep of your hair.
Horacio wonders if youâre dead to the world too. You arenât DEA or CIA, at least not in the Colombian theater, but that doesnât mean you werenât nearby. The U.S. agencies have their sticky fingers all over South America.
The broad strokes of the situation: you and Horacio are newlyweds. You met in Spain and are returning to the U.S. Horacio is dead, but heâs been replaced by Davide, and Johnson hands over a thick packet of official documentsâSpanish birth certificate, Spanish passport, U.S. green card.Â
You are also dead, but youâve been replaced by Gwen. Another thick packet of documents detailing your fake life as an ex-pat American in Spain.
Each packet also contains a simple gold band for each of you. Horacio turns it over and over in his hand, contemplates the little twist he gets in his gut to put a ring back on his finger after years of being divorced.
You slide yours on too, but you fuss with it the rest of the flight, twisting it around and around your finger.
âYouâre going to Vermont, of all places,â Johnson tells you. âThereâs a mid-sized college there with a lot of international folk coming and going, so youâll blend in. The house is handled, and youâll get a stipend every month, but we expect you to find jobs as quickly as you can.â
Johnson doesnât even attempt to say how long it will be. Horacio knows he has to wait out Escobar before he can return to Colombia. You? Who can say?
The rest of the flight is silent except for the low roar of the engines and the creak of the netting holding the cargo in place. Once you land, you stand and follow Johnson and Horacio off of the plane to transfer to a smaller passenger plane that will take you to Vermont.
The final leg of the journey is silent too.
When you deplane in the small regional airport in Vermont, you stumble on the step down from the fuselage. Horacio catches your arm, keeps you upright.
âWatch your step,â he says softly.
âThank you,â you reply.
Itâs the first words you exchange, and his hand on your clothed armâthatâs the first time he touches you.
-----
Horacio has never been to the United States before, but when he thinks of it, he thinks of what heâs seen in the movies: New York City, perhaps, with the traffic and skyscrapers and Statue of Liberty. Or Miami with its white beaches and turquoise water and neon-tinged nightlife.
Vermont is something else.
Itâs green. Everything is so green. The rounded mountains in the distance, the old trees with huge, spreading branches. The grass of the lawns in this college town. Even though it is near twilight, even the shadows are green-tinged as the sun sets.
âAt least we arrived in the spring,â you say. You glance at him, explain that New England winters can be brutal.
The house is small, trim. Itâs a simple ranch but well-built. Thereâs a fair amount of land, and the nearest neighbors are far enough away that thereâs privacy.
Of course itâs awkward. You donât know each other at all, and youâre both in hiding. Horacio is out of habit with living with another person, and he has to guess you are too.
That first night, the first moment of awkwardness: when you arrive at the house, thereâs two bedrooms, and you both hesitate in the hallway that leads to both. Youâre married on paper (kinda) but who would expect you to share a bed? But youâre also both exhausted, and Horacio takes in the dark circles under your eyes. The larger room has a full-sized bed, but the guest only has an uncomfortable-looking daybed.
âTake the master bedroom,â he says. âIâll take the guest room.â
âYou sure?â Your words, Horacio notices, are slightly accented, like youâve been around people like him who speak English as a second language. He wonders about your past and what landed you here with him.
âOf course. Take the room. Weâll talk in the morning.â
You nod, and he glances down at where you twist that gold band over and over around your slim finger. Itâs here, heâll realize later, that he starts to feel something for you, but at the moment, itâs only sympathy. Youâre trapped in the same miserable situation as him, so sympathy is an easy emotion to access.
âI appreciate itâŠDavide,â you reply, and you give him a nod, then turn in for the night. He hears the quiet click of the bedroom door as you shut it, and he turns in too. The daybed is cramped, and he canât stretch out completely, but heâs so bone-tired that heâs asleep the minute his head hits the pillow.
-----
The first month, April.Â
Itâs awkward. Itâs more awkward for Horacio; everything in the U.S. is familiar, but just different enough to make it seem like heâs dreaming. Youâre already an American, and life in an idyllic New England college town is easier for you to settle into.
Living with another person is strange. Horacio finds that the two of you engage in a civil, stilted dance each day that first month. You each tiptoe around the other, defer to each other in a painfully polite way. When Horacio catches you singing along softly to the radio one night, you snap the music off and go quiet. When you walk in on him in the bathroom onceâhe was only brushing his teeth, so it is hardly salaciousâyou apologize and refuse to meet his eyes for the rest of the week.
The two of you donât really talk, not that first month. You arenât supposed to share details about your real lives with each other, so neither of you know how to converse in the weird liminal space you find yourselves. Your conversations are limited to menial topics. The weather, the house and yard, what you each want for dinner that night. You trade off chores, you drift around each other, and itâs like living in purgatory with another ghost.
Sometimes, Horacio swears he can hear you crying softly through the wall that separates your room from his, but you never offer any insight into your feelings and he doesnât ask.
-----
The second month, May.
Johnson told each of you to find work, and you land a job first: you get a position at the college. You ask him, a bit shy, if you can take a certain portion of the monthly stipend to buy some new clothes for your office job, and Horacioâs gut does that twist again. Of course you need new clothes. You left wherever with nothing, the same way he left Colombia with nothing.
âOf course,â he says. âYou donât even need to ask.â
That makes you smile a little, and you make a weak joke about not wanting to be the sort of wife to spend frivolously. It makes Horacio chuckle. It breaks the uneasy tension in the house a bit, and he ends up going to the mall with you that weekend as you shop.
Thereâs nothing like a mall to encapsulate American culture, and Horacio tries to play it cool at the conspicuous consumption on display. The giant building, the icy air conditioning, the cacophony of sound echoing around the marble floors and walls. Thereâs so many people and only a handful of security guards. When Horacio studies them closer, he sees that they donât even carry gunsâthey only have walkie-talkies as they saunter around at a lazy pace.
His life now is a far cry from his life as the leader of the Search Bloc. And when he glances over at the woman walking beside him, he realizes how far this second marriage is from his first.
But the thought leads to him ruminating about his first marriage and all the little ways he failed Juliana. This situation with you isnât a marriage, of course, but it doesnât stop him from wanting to be better.
So once you are done shopping, he pulls you into the Sam Goody and insists that you buy an album to celebrate. He catches you singing all the time in the house, listening to the radio, humming or singing along. When he imagines your mysterious life before now, he imagines an apartment filled with a big stereo and shelves of albums.
âSeriously?â It makes you smile again, and Horacio thinks you have a nice smile, though he wonders how often people ever get to see it.
âWell, itâs our stipend,â he clarifies. âItâs not like Iâm treating you, really. I guess itâs not really a gift if itâs ours.â
Another smile, and he stands back and watches as you rifle through the stacks of vinyl records and CDâs, as you pull one out and read the list of songs, then replace it. You finally settle on one, and the two of you check out, and Horacio pulls out his wallet and pays.
And even if itâs your shared stipend, you thank him and smile again, and it feels like something that he canât quite name.
-----
The third month, June.
You leave the house every weekday for work. Horacio finally has some firsthand knowledge of what Juliana must have felt when he left each day. He had always prided himself that he was able to provide for both of them, that she never had to work.Â
He had never considered how bored she must have been.
He wakes up early out of habit, but you do too. In the soft pre-dawn light, you go out for a run every day. Part of him remains Search Bloc; he stands at the living room window and watches for you until you return, panting, your t-shirt ringed with sweat. He finds he can breathe easier once youâre in sight.Â
While you shower and dress, Horacio makes you coffee. Â The two of you sip at your coffee in companionable silence, and then youâre off.
It leaves him with a full day with little to do.
He cleans the house, but that takes no time at all because both of you are fastidious and neat anyway. He maintains the lawn, trims back the unruly rhododendrons. He bought a weight bench and a set of free weights from a yard sale a few weeks after you moved, and he spends some time lifting in the garage.
That takes him to noon, if heâs lucky.
His afternoons are when he thinks of Juliana the most. Is this what her life with him was like? Back then, he used to scoff at the claim that women needed a life outside of the home. His mother had seemed happy to be a housewife and mother, and he had always assumed that Juliana was the same. Except the children never came, and Juliana had a degree in fashion design from the universityâyet when she broached the idea of a job or even an internship, Horacio had dissuaded her.
He had thought he was being a good husband. Now, as he sits and drowses to âDays of Our Lives,â he wonders how he had missed the obvious.
But if heâs Juliana in this situation, you are no Horacio. For one thing, you return home in the late afternoonâheâs never left to eat dinner alone in a too-quiet house. For another, you immediately kick off your shoes and pad over to where heâs cooking dinner, and you fall into an easy rhythm of helping him finish it off.
Halfway through June, you get comfortable enough to start calling out, âhoney, Iâm home!â each time you return.
Which makes him smile, every time.
And heâs only a passable cook, but you praise every meal he puts in front of you. You joke once, say âI should have gotten a husband a long time ago,â and that makes him smile even wider, and it is easy to fall into the fantasy that this easy domesticity is real. The fantasy only falls apart at night, when you each retire to your separate rooms, as you do every night.
-----
The fourth month, July.
The easy domesticity cedes to something deeper and darker right at the start of the month.
Horacio has never been to the U.S. before, so he hasnât experienced the usual Independence Day celebrations. When he asks, you grin and tell him that a good old-fashioned U.S.-style barbecue might be nice, and thatâs what the two of you plan. You and Horacio as Davide and Gwen: patriotic Americans.
The day starts off great. The weather is hot and humid enough to feel like Colombia, and Horacio will admit that you look nice in your cut-off shorts and cotton tank top. He will admit that if you were really his wife, he might never even make it to lunchtime before taking advantage of a quiet house set apart from its neighbors.
The barbecue is nice. Itâs all-American fare: hot dogs and hamburgers, corn on the cob steamed over hot coals. You buy an apple pie from a nearby farm stand, and you also make some trifle type dessert, and the two of you wash it all down with ice-cold beer. By the time dusk rolls around and lightning bugs start to flicker across the lawn, Horacio is pleasantly buzzed.
The town puts on a fireworks display, and as the sky turns a velvety black, the light show starts. Your house is in the perfect place to see it, slightly set on a ridge, and blossoms of red and white and blue sparks explode across the sky. Horacio, tipsy, watches the first few minutes, completely mesmerizedâŠbut when he turns to say something to you, he finds you missing.
He finds you in the house. More specifically, he finds you in the bathtub, hugging your knees to your chest, forehead pressed to knees.
âGwen?â he says, and he feels stupid saying the obviously fake name, but he doesnât know your real one.
You donât answer anyway, and he steps into the bathroom. Studies you closer. Sees that you are shaking, and between the muffled booms of the fireworks, he can hear your panting breath.
He moves without any real thought. He knowsâor can guess, at leastâat what is happening to you. Horacio has led enough men through enough battles to recognize a panic attack when he sees one, but you arenât one of his men and this is no battle, so he puts a gentle hand on your shoulder to alert you that heâs there. Then he climbs into the bathtub with you.
âScoot forward a little,â he orders softly, and you do. He maneuvers himself behind you, then pulls you closer to him. Your back pressed against his chest, and his arms wrapped around you, he holds you close despite the heat and humidity of the day.Â
âJust breathe with me.â He takes a deep, slow breath, feels his chest push against you. He does it again and again, and after a long while, you start to mimic him.Â
The fireworks end, and eventually you stop trembling. Tucked this close to him, Horacio can see the edge of a thick scar disappearing under your hair, and he remembers the bandage on the plane from Bogota.
He wonders if the moment that caused that scar is linked to this moment now.Â
After you calm, and after you sheepishly untangle yourself from him, he urges you to do whatever you need to. To take a cool shower or go to bed. That heâll clean up. You gaze back at him a long moment, like youâre trying to decide something, and then you nod. You leave the bathroom and disappear into your bedroom, and he hears that quiet click of the door closing.
The rest of the month is uneasy. The panic attack seems to have dredged up the muck in your past, the trauma of a life that has resulted in you being in Witness Protection, injured enough at some point to have a thick scar on your head.
Something about this feels like an echo from his first marriage. Juliana went silent on him too, but for different reasons. Your silence is driven by an inner turmoil that he can only guess at, and he feels powerless to help.
So he only does what he can. He makes you coffee each morning before work. He makes you dinner each night. He asks gentle, tame questions about your work day, and when you donât have much to say in that quarter, he tells you that dayâs drama on âDays of Our Lives.â
âStefano DiMera is back,â he tells you one night. âAnd Marlena is possessed by el Diablo.â
Thatâs the sole smile he is able to coax from you all month. You pick at the dinner he made, pushing it around with the tines of your fork, and repeat, âthe Devil?â
Horacio nods.
âLike, Lucifer the Devil?â
âYes.â
You smile. âThatâs the dumbest shit Iâve ever heard.â
He nods again, smiles back at you. âIt really is.â
-----
The fifth month, August.
Horacio finds a job with a state nursery, and when he applies, he nearly despairs at the clichïżœïżœ of it: a South American immigrant becoming a landscaper.Â
But itâs not landscaping at all. Itâs a quiet, peaceful job. The summer interns have already left for the year, so Horacio is hired on to help the old-timer, Lawrence. Lawrence has a thick Yankee accent, says little, but Horacio finds the job a revelation. He walks the rolling grounds and checks on the saplings that will one day be planted across the state. Theyâll go into parks and line city streets, and it knocks something loose in him. A job where heâs nurturing life that will potentially live on long after him. The oak sapling he waters and feeds today could live hundreds of years when heâll be long forgotten.Â
With him working now, you and Horacio switch off on meals. You teach him how to use the most American of small appliances, the slow cooker. You make him the most American of working class meals, the one-pot dish. He makes you the comfort food from his childhood, and together you find an egalitarian balance.
But something about July and your low mental healthâŠit makes Horacio want to do better. Who knows how long the two of you will end up living like this? He wants to understand you better, and he wants you to know him, because the two of you exist as the sole inhabitants of this weird, unlikely life as Davide and Gwen.
âLetâs each say one true thing about ourselves,â he proposes over dinner one night. Heâs bone-tired from workâhe spent the day mulching rows and rows of tender little Eastern Hemlocks (and he knows the difference now between them and a balsam fir and a spruce). You look tired too, but at his suggestion, your eyes light up. Maybe youâve been wanting some familiarity with him too and just were waiting on him to suggest it first.
So August is this: getting to know each other. Dumb stuff, usually. Favorite colors, favorite songs, favorite foods. Most embarrassing memory. Best memory. Age of first kiss.Â
-----
The sixth month, September.
The weather starts to turn. The nights grow cold, and the leaves transform from all that green to a riot of reds and yellows and oranges. Work at the nursery slows way down, and Horacio spends long hours following Lawrenceâs lead, which means an hour or two of paperwork, then lunch, then quietly reading a book at his desk.
Youâre busy with the new academic year, but the weekends are spent doing day trips. Youâre six months into this, and youâre both braver, more willing to travel afield. You go into the mountains to look at the leaves from a different angle than what you see from your house. You go to pick apples, and you spend a weekend cooking them into pies, cobblers, and apple sauce.
The dinner-time âone true thingâ game ends, and it turns into natural conversation. Itâs so comfortable now. You chat and laugh and joke, and sometimes he teases you, and it makes you duck your head to hide your pleased smile. You like being teased, Horacio finds. You like being the butt of gentle jokes, so he obliges you as often as he dares.Â
Itâs a revelation to find that he has a sense of humor after all.
Over one dinner, he mentions his first marriage, his first wife. You ask him questions, and he answers them honestly, and then he asks if youâve ever been married.
âNo.â You shake your head to emphasize the point.Â
âEver engaged?â
You hesitate, then nod. âYes. A long time ago.â
âWhat happened?â
You shrug, lifting one shoulder up before dropping it back down. âLife. Expectations. Itâs hard to say.â You take a sip of your water, then settle your gaze somewhere past Horacio, like youâre looking at the specter of your failed engagement.
âI was young and very career-driven,â you add. âAnd not many men want that in a wife.â
âIâm sorry.â He is, of course, and heâs doubly-sorry because he was arguably one of those men. He kept Juliana at home, stifled her own career aspirations. A flush of shame courses through him at the memory of his own failings.
Another shrug. âIt was for the best.â
âAnd now here you are, married to me,â he teases, and yesâyou duck your head, but he catches the shy little grin, the curve of your cheek as you smile at the joke.
-----
The seventh month, October.
Itâs the first time youâve actually ordered him to do anything, so Horacio finds himself busy each weekend, decorating the house for Halloween. Thereâs ghosts strung in the trees in the front yard. Fake gravestones jut from the lawn like rotting teeth. Purple and orange lights are strung around the windows and banisters of the porch, and the two of you set to carving more pumpkins than Horacio thought possible.
But itâs worth it, because your town goes all out for the holiday. You bought him a costume weeks ago, and when he dresses after dinner, heâs surprised to find you openly checking him out. Your gaze sweeps from the hair on the top of his headâlonger than Search Bloc reg, curling at the nape of his neckâto his shoes, and you take in his vampire costume.
âYou look handsome,â you tell him, and he tries not to ogle you in turn and utterly fails, because youâre dressed up like a witch but the black dress hugs your curves, and the ridiculous hat, complete with a floppy brim, does nothing to detract from how sexy you look.
Horacio finds himself sitting on the front porch with you, handing out candy to the children that come by. And it charms him, how much you get into it, how you guess at what each child is supposed to be. You read the kids perfectlyâyouâre sweet with the scared little ones, but you play up the witchiness with the older ones, crooking your fingers and cacking at them.
When thereâs a lull in the crowd at one point, he catches you as you shiver, so he pulls you close to him and wraps his cloak around your shoulder. He never touches you much, but this is blatant, and the moment feels heavy with intent.
You lean into him. A moment later, he feels your arm wend its way around his waist, under his cloak, so he holds you closer.
The evening continues like that. The two of you play it up more and more, comfortable with pretending. Not you and Horacio, and not Davide and Gwen, but a vampire and a witch, and the more you cackle and scare the children, the more Horacio flashes his fake teeth and hisses at them.Â
Who ever knew handing out candy in a cheap drugstore costume could be so fun?
When another lull happens, he pulls you back to him, and the motion takes you off balance a little. You hold him back but lean away from him, searching for your equilibrium, and it bares the smooth column of your neck to him.
Horacio forgets himself. Davide forgets himself. The vampire heâs pretending to be dips his head, and he presses the plastic points of his fake teeth into your pulse point, and you give a squeal of surprise, but when Horacio lifts his head to study you, he sees you staring back at him, your eyes wide and dark with obvious desire.
âThatâs a good way to get a hex on you,â you warn, but thereâs a smile on your red lips, and you donât release your own hold on him. You donât shove him away.
âI enjoy a good hex,â he replies.Â
The stream of children eventually dies off. The bowl of candy has been replenished multiple times, but you fill it one last time and set it on the porch for any stragglers.Â
Inside the house, you go from room to room and check the locks on the doors, turn off the lights. Horacio lingers near the hallway, and when you turn to make your way to your room, he stills you. He puts his hand on your waist, lightly, and he doesnât say anything. The moment hangs suspended as you both stand there, silent.
What does it mean for Horacio Carrillo to take you to bed?Â
He has always tried to be a good Catholic (the killing of narcos aside). Heâs never been with anyone other than Juliana, and he feels a tinge of doubt. Guilt, too. Heâs always prided himself on his fidelity, and post-divorce, he took a perverse pride in the fact that he never took a lover. That he still honored his vows despite the legal fact that he was no longer married.
He doesnât mourn Juliana anymore, and he knows that something is growing between the two of you now, but what does it mean? Would it be right to sleep with you, knowing that this is just circumstantial? That it may end at any moment? That if you both werenât in WitSec, youâd have never met, and might have never liked each other if you had?
Is this thing growing between the two of you only the result of being flung together by circumstances out of your control?
All of those questions rapid-fire through his head, and you seem to see the doubt in his eyes because the moment deflates. The energy and anticipation sour, and he sees it on your face. Your soft smile falls, and then you nod to yourself, as if you knew it would happen like this.
Then you smile again, thank him softly for his help handing out candy. You stretch towards him and brush the lightest of kisses against his cheek, and you step around him to go to your room.
When Horacio goes to bed, it takes him a long time to fall asleep, and he swears you must be awake too, separated only by the wall between you.
-----
The eighth month, November.
Your department at the university puts on a wine and cheese social, and spouses are encouraged to attend.
âWe never really practiced our cover story,â he says as he bends over to tie his dress shoes. âDo you remember all of it?â
âI have a eidetic memory.â
âYeah?â He glances up at you. âYouâre full of surprises.â
âDonât sweat it. Itâs a bunch of tenured professors. They love to talk about themselves and nothing else. They are all narcissists of the worse variety.â
But you arenât entirely correct. The party is at the house of the department chair, and Horacio finds himself cornered by a pair of fellow lecturers. They are older women, charming and gregarious, and they sing your praisesâŠand his own.
âI can see why sheâs kept you hidden away,â says the taller of the two. âShe said you were handsome butââ
âYou make a gorgeous couple,â the shorter one cut in. âAnd sheâs brilliant, you know, she planned out thisââ
On and on they go, cutting each other off, redirecting each other, not letting Horacio get a word in edgewise. Itâs not far off base from how you explained it would go, and when he catches your eye from across the room, you smile but mouth, âyou okay?â
He nods, smiles back at you.Â
The evening is halfway over when he realizes with a start that he hasnât cased the room once.Â
He hasnât counted the exits and windows, hasnât studied the egresses and any obstacles to them. He hasnât scowled at each face to try and determine what dirty secret they held, if Escobar or one of his men had compromised them or their family. He hasnât studied the lines of their clothing to see who might be hiding a piece.
What does it mean for Horacio Carrillo to lose his edge?Â
Itâs another question he ponders at night, since the minor disaster of Halloween. He knows he hurt you by hesitating in that moment in the hallway, but itâs a subtle hurt. He can see it in your eyes each morning, the way they study his face as if you could perhaps read his thoughts if you watch him closely enough.Â
More and more, these questions plague him because thereâs no easy answers. Horacio is used to solving problems, but heâd be the first to admit that many of his solutions were just brute force. Displays of power. The Search Bloc has a problem? Send in men, armed men, men with guns and night-sticks, men with flint in their souls, men with hearts cased in granite. Send in Colonel Carrillo himself to a clandestine meeting place where a suspect is strung up. Whatâs a little light torture and murder when the fate of a country hangs in the balance?
That man is dead now. Horacio Carrillo received a state funeral, and his empty coffin lies in the mausoleum. Davide, his replacement, spent the week wrapping tender saplings in burlap in anticipation for the coming snowsâall the while considering his place in the greater world and what his legacy may be.
At the end of the evening, Horacio finds you, brings you your coat, holds it out while you shrug your way into it. When the two of you leave, you pass the pair of lecturers who had cornered him, and their exchange is like a Greek chorus that follows him home.
âHe is handsome, isnât he?â says one. âSheâs a lucky woman.â
The other one scoffs lightly. âHeâs the lucky one.â
You must not hear them because you donât react. You only let him lead you to the car, and when he brushes away the light dusting of snow with the snow brush, his eyes find yours through the windshieldâand you smile at him.
-----
The ninth month, December.
The university shuts down for most of the month, and Horacio is on an abbreviated schedule a the nursery.Â
The two of you have so much time together.
Horacio has seen snow before, but never like this. Vermont, so green when he arrived, is swaddled in thick layers of white like cotton batting. It absorbs and reflects sounds in weird ways, and a hush falls over your little home.
Being Colombian, he should hate it. He should curse the cold and the snow and the quiet, but it does something to his soul. It soothes him in a way he never would have guessed. True, the cold is difficult at first, but you take him to the mall one weekend and load him up with sweaters and thick woolen socks, and heâs better after that.
Everything is so calm. Peaceful. Horacio has never slept so well in his life, bundled under layers of blankets, even on the uncomfortable daybed. He sleeps, he doesnât dream, and he wakes up naturally, in slow measure, to a soft light creeping across his bedroom floor.
Being on break, you still wake up early. Earlier than him, some days, and when Horacio wakes to the scent of brewing coffee and something delicious baking in the oven, he wishes sometimes that this was the afterlife. He wants to freeze the moment in time and never let it slip past him. He wants nothing more, in this moment.
Heâs always half-asleep those mornings, but the smell of food draws him out. One morning, he pads out to the kitchen in his thick socks and startles you when he grumbles âgood morning.â You shriek, then swear, then lightly try to swat him with the spatula in your hands, but heâs still half-asleep, still incredulous that this is his life at the moment, and he takes the spatula from you and pulls you into a big bear hug.
âWhatâs this for?â you ask. Your words are muffled against his chest, but after a beat, you wrap your arms around his midsection and hug him back.
âJust because,â he replies.
You spend your days doing puzzles, reading, listening to music. You watch âDays of Our Livesâ with him and you both laugh at the bad cosmetics and even worse acting on the demonic possession storyline.
Your evenings are spent cooking dinner together. You make the trip into town every few days, and you rent movies and watch them too. You watch everything togetherâold Hollywood classics, campy horror, meandering romances. The two of you sit on the couch side by side, and it takes all of a day before youâre tucked in against his side, his arm firm around your shoulders.
Sometimes he glances down at you and sees your face in profile lit by the flickering light of the television. Sometimes he can make out the edge of your scar, but he doesnât linger there. Instead he takes in the whole of your faceâthe curve of your cheek, the sweep of your lashes as you blink. When something funny happens on the screen, you smile, and it makes Horacioâs heart stutter in his chest to see it.
What does it mean for Horacio Carrillo to fall in love?
Another question to ponder. Another riddle to solve. Heâs losing sight of the man he was. Maybe that man is completely lost already. The thought doesnât unnerve him; he thinks he likes the man he is here. He likes the man he is with you, the job that coaxes life into being instead of snuffing it out. He likes wearing cable-knit sweaters and thick socks and eating the banana bread you bake on mornings you donât have to work.Â
He likes sitting on the couch with you and watching a rental VHS of âBeetlejuice.â He likes the feel of your body pressed against his, and he likes looking down to see you smile.
Thatâs the night he dares ask for more.
After the movie, you do your usual pre-bedtime sweep of the houseâlocks, lightsâthen brush your teeth and go to your room. The usual quiet click of your door closing. Horacio, as usual, goes to his room, peels back the layers of blankets, prepares to tuck himself into the cramped bedâŠ.then doesnât.
Instead, he returns to the hallway. He taps a finger on your door, a soft staccato, and he hears you call out, âDavide?â
âYes.â
You tell him to come in, and youâre sitting up in bed. Your eyebrows are furrowed together.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â you ask.
He shakes his head. How can he begin to explain it? Heâs fluent in English, Spanish, and Portuguese, and his Italian is passable, yet not a single language he knows can capture the maelstrom of emotions roiling through him. He loves you, he wants you. Heâs afraid you donât feel the same for him. Heâs afraid you do feel the same for him. Is this just situational or are you truly the woman he was meant for all along? Has he gone mad? Is this some tame mental breakdown, the result of coming close to death and then finding himself, improbably, in Vermont with a woman who also was near death?Â
From your âone true thingâ game, he knows youâre a polyglot tooâEnglish and Spanish and Russianâbut that shake of his head to your question seems to transcend the need for language. You seem to read it exactly, the turmoil in him, and you climb out of bed slowly, make your way over to where he stands by the door.
You reach down and take his hands in yours, and the touch bolsters him. Reassures him. Heâs Horacio and Davide both, and youâre both Gwen and yourself, and he doesnât need to parse the two. He can be both with you. Youâre both complicated people with complicated pasts, but none of it matters right now because the world is swathed in layers of snow, and the two of you are the only two who exist in it.
Neither of you say much else for the rest of the night. When you turn your head to peer up at him, Horacio tilts his head to kiss you, and itâs like a bolt of lightning when he does. Maybe he fell in love with you by small moments, but this is the moment that seals it forever: this first kiss, his mouth on yours, writes your nameâyour real name, even if he doesnât know itâon his heart like a line of fire.
You each lead the other back to bed; you tug him, he pushes you, and you fall gracelessly back on the rumpled covers, but each kiss, each searching touch peels back another layer of reserve. Horacio slides his hand under your shirt and cups the softness of your breasts, pinches lightly at your hardened buds. You slip your hand under the waistband of his flannel pajamas and grasp his growing erection, stroke it into full hardness as he groans into your mouth.
Thereâs no art to it. No seduction. Youâre both starving for each other, ravenous, and you both kiss the other as you each strip out of your layers. He kisses down your neck, nips at your pulse point like he did on Halloween. He licks against the hollow at the base of your throat, draws the sweetest goddamned moans out of you, then returns to kiss you, to lick against the inside of your mouth so he can feel the sounds youâre making too.
If heâd known how vocal you were in bed, he would have summoned his courage months ago.
Your mouth is on him too. Itâs another line of fire, each press of your lips on his bare skin. He finds himself on his back and you astride him. He reaches up to touch your bared breasts, but you donât even notice because you lean down, focused only on him. Your mouth on his neck, along his stubbled jaw. You kiss his collarbones, his chest. You bite lightly against his nipples, your teeth making him huff at the sensation, and then your warm tongue laving him. Further down, a trail of kisses across his belly, which is less firm than it was in his Search Bloc days but you make a pleased noise as your mouth places wet, lingering kisses there.
Then even lower, and this is uncharted territory. Love-making with Juliana was only ever for the purpose of making children, and while Horacio had convinced her a time or two to go down on her in the interest of foreplay, he never has received head in his life. Juliana had called it dirty, and he had left it at that.
He doesnât even register it until he feels your hand grasp him at the root of his cock, then feels the smallest, most kittenish little lick of your tongue against his leaking tip.
âDios,â he groans out, and then he feels the rest: your tongue tracing a pattern along the length of him, then a teasing rhythm where you work him into your mouth. First just the tip. You lavish him with attention there, suckling against the most sensitive part of him, lapping up the pre-cum that leaks from him. Then more and more and more; you work him into your warm, wet mouth, and he feels your breath tickling against his groin, feels you breathing carefully through your nose as you take him as far as you can, and then you swallow against him, you hum against him, and itâs nothing like heâs ever felt before. You press your tongue against the underside of him and you hollow your cheeks, and when your warm palm reaches up to lightly fondle his balls, Horacioâs orgasm breaks around him like a tidal wave. His hips judder once, twice, and he thinks he warns you, but you donât move. You only hold yourself there, and when he comes, you swallow every drop of him, and he wishes he could explain this feeling to Juliana: that it doesnât feel dirty at all. It feels like a sacrament. That it feels like love.
It's only fair that he shows you his love for you in turn.
Once he recovers, he flips you onto your back and repays you in kind. He kisses his way down your naked body, makes a note of all the spots that you moan at. Make a note too of all the scars that speak to a life a lot like his was in Colombia. He kisses your scars, presses his lips to each raised ridge as if he can take away any lingering pain.
Then he settles between your legs. Thereâs no shyness he can detect; you spread your thighs eagerly for him. You allow him to put a pillow under your hips to tilt your pelvis into a more agreeable angle.
Heâs not especially skilled at this. The handful of times with Juliana had been a race against the clockâa sprint to coax her to orgasm before she gripped his hair and made him stop. Thereâs no clock now, so he takes his time. He settles your legs on his shoulders and he bends his head to your gorgeous pussy, and he takes his time.
He licks against your folds, then reaches down to part them with his fingers. Licks a slow, tortuous route from the firm bud of your clit to your entrance. Over and over and over until you squirm underneath himâthen he slides a finger into your clenching heat, then another, then a third, and he feels how your pussy twitches against the intrusion, how you grab against his fingers like youâre trying to pull him deeper into you.Â
He fingers you in a lazy rhythm, and he circles his tongue against your clit. That does something for you; you whine out a curse, and a moment later your hand is on his head, your fingers tugging against his hair, so he purses his lips, suckles against your clit, and that turns your whine into a wail.
He wishes he could tell Juliana this too, that this isnât dirty either. When you come, he feels a flush of pride at drawing pleasure from your bodyâyour thighs tight against his head, your pussy clamped down on his fingers, and the slick cum that pulses from you, that coats his tongue and lips in the taste of you.
Heâs hard again, but he wouldnât press his luck. This is more than he ever dared hope for. Heâd be happy to curl up with you now, to fall asleep beside you, but when he lifts his head from where heâs perched between your thighs, he sees you gazing back at him.
âPlease,â is all you say, and he knows what youâre asking for because he wants it too.
If thereâs an argument about this being two people pushed together because of circumstances beyond their control, thereâs also an argument about the two of you fitting together so well. Because you do. Your body seems like it was made for his; you fit together like two jagged puzzles pieces. Horacio settles over you, lowers his body onto yours, and itâs like magic: his cock bumps against your inner thigh, but he moves half an inch and he finds your wet heat, and then heâs pushing into you, feeling your feverish flesh part and mold to the shape of him, and then your legs are around his waist, holding him to you as he bottoms out inside you.
He stills for a long moment. Heâs unable to move. Itâs not because heâs afraid heâll come too soon but because heâs afraid he might cry. Horacio Carrillo is not a man who cries (maybe Davide is), but gazing down at your face, seeing the stunned love written in your expression, he nearly cries at how lucky he feels. How blessed. That shootout in the MedellĂn alley should have killed him, yet here he is.
Eventually, you give him the faintest of nods, and he starts to move. Heâs gentle at first. He warms you up to the feel of him, and him to you. You lay one hand on the side of his face, cupping his cheek as he thrusts into you, but the other hand settles over his heart.
He could love you like this forever. He coaxes a second, then a third orgasm from you, and he watches your face during each oneâthe way your eyes go wide, then close tight, the way your mouth takes a hitching breath then goes slack as you breathe through it. The look on your face as it ebbs away, your eyes shiny with tears, and happy little smile curving your lips.
âI want you to come,â you whisper to him. You must feel the tension in him, and you bear down on his pistoning cock to urge him along.
âWhere?â he pants out.Â
âInside me. Please. Come inside me.â
He knows youâre safe. Heâs lived with you for nine months now, and heâs run enough errands with you to know that you have that little plastic compact you pick up from the pharmacy once a month. He sees you swallow the same pill each morning with your vitamin. But stillâheâs a man with his history, so he doesnât register your contraceptive use in this moment. The thought comes to him that if he comes inside you, he may make you pregnant, and Horacio is surprised by how quickly the thought urges his orgasm forward.
âYou sure?â At your words, heâs amped up his thrusting, driving forward in deep, strong strokes until he swears he can feel the crown of his cock nudging against the end of you, and the thought takes hold: you round with his child, the two of you in this bedroom with a child in the guest room converted into a nursery. At this moment, itâs the tamest of breeding kinks, but in the morning, heâll realize itâs just more of this perfect life extrapolated. You not as his pretend-wife but as his real wife. A child as tangible proof that this isnât just an incongruous moment in time.
âYes. Please.â You lick your lips, blink up at him. âI-I want to feel you coming inside me.â
Itâs only fair that he obliges you. You ask so nicely, so he does: he thrusts three, four times more, then feels his pleasure snap and spark up his spine as he fills you.
Then he collapses on top of you, and a moment later, he feels your fingers combing through his hair, lightly running over his back.
âYou can sleep here, if you want.â You say it shyly, like you think this might just be a physical release for him, so he lifts his head to kiss you and reply that he wants that very much.
Horacio never sleeps in that cramped daybed again.
-----
The tenth month, January.
What does it mean to Horacio Carrillo for the lines between real and pretend to blur?
It means that through Christmas and into the new year, you live as husband and wife. You live as newlyweds. You make love in every room in the house, and you spent lazy days tangled up together. It means you draw straws to see who has to drive into town for provisions, and itâs all a joke anyway because you always go together. It means your world collapses down into the most basic of human needs: feeding and fucking.Â
It means that between love-making, the two of you share more about your real lives. Horacio learns about your family life. He learns that youâre CIA, and youâve been stationed in Panama post-Noriega. He learns that it was an explosion, a car bomb outside of your headquarters, that left you with that scar on your head.
You learn about the Search Bloc and Escobar. You learn about his childhood as the son of a great military leader, and how that legacy shaped his own life and career.
But what does it mean when that line blurs?
It means that when Johnson returns to your lives, everything ends abruptly.Â
âEverything is all clear,â he tells you when he turns up one Saturday in the middle of January. He sips at the cup of coffee you made him, and if he notices the stunned silence of both of you, he doesnât remark on it.Â
âEscobar was gunned down early today. It hasnât hit the wire yet.â Johnson glances at you. âAnd the group that bombed your HQ has been cleared out too. Youâve been safe for a few months, but we didnât want to upset the situation here.â
âSo now what?â you ask, and Horacio feels sick to his stomach as Johnson explains that your old lives are waiting for you and that itâs time to go.
-----
The end comes that day, but not the way Horacio thought it would.
You gesture to Johnson after he gives the rundown on the logistics, and the two of you go outside. Horacio watches from the kitchen window as you cross your arms against the cold. You talk, Johnson listens. Then Johnson talks, you listen. Back and forth, and by the end Johnson shakes his head, shakes your hand, and returns inside.
âOkay, so change of plans,â he says, and he rubs his hands together briskly to bring the warmth back to them. âItâs just you and me now. Go pack and say your goodbyes, and Iâll be back in an hour.â
He leaves, and Horacio watches him pull out of the driveway, and when he turns back to the interior of the house, he sees you standing there. Crying openly, tears cutting tracks down your face.
âI canât go back,â you explain, your voice thick with tears. âI wonât.â
Then you break down into sobs, and itâs second nature to stride over to you, to pull you into his arms. He tries to soothe youârubs your back, holds you to himâas you choke out the words. That you have had a crisis of conscience. That you wonder if your work in the CIA did more harm than good. That you think itâs the former, and how you want to spend the balance of your life not doing more harm than good. That you want to live in a quiet town that is green in the summer and swaddled in white in the winter. You want to teach, you want to come home to a house withâŠ.and you catch yourself at the last minute. You donât say it, but Horacio can guess it.
You want to come home to a house with him in it. You want to come home to him.
âI love my life here,â you amend hastily, but you push away from him, aware heâs leaving and that your life wonât be exactly the same either way. You mumble something about not wanting to say goodbye, about wishing him the best, and then you disappear down the hallway. He hears the click of the door and your crying, and it doesnât abate while he packs.Â
When Johnson returns, Horacio taps on the bedroom door, but you donât answer and he doesnât push it. Heâs sleepwalking through the moment, numb, so he leaves. He doesnât say goodbye. He only climbs into Johnsonâs rental car, and each mile that Johnson puts between you and Horacio only makes the numbness grow.
âWomen, huh?â Johnson says as they near the airport. âThatâs why I said they should never take field work. They donât have the stomach for it, in the end.â
Horacio grunts a non-reply, but he thinks Johnson is off the mark. Itâs not that you donât have the stomach for it. Itâs that you donât have the heart.
-----
February.
He goes from Vermont to Miami, this time around.
Horacio is given a hotel room, and heâs given the orders to just chill for a bit. Johnson has extricated him from his fake life as Davide, but his old life as Colonel Horacio Carrillo isnât quite ready for him yet.
There are mountains of paperwork to bring a man back from the dead. Thereâs talk of giving him a cushy role in Madrid. Thereâs talk of commendations, medals, a comfortable pension to retire on. Heâs done a lot for his country of Colombia, and Colombia wants to reward him.
He sleepwalks through this liminal space. The not-Davide, not-Horacio time. He wanders the streets around the hotel and picks at the food he orders in restaurants, and each time he hears a woman speak, he looks up expecting to see you.Â
I donât even know her real name, he thinks.Â
Gwen, his one-time pretend-wife. Gwen, who had a panic attack on her countryâs birthday. Gwen, who questioned the harm she may have caused to another country, another people. Gwen, who only wants the chance to do a little good now, or at least to do no more bad. It wasnât Gwen at all, but he has no other name to use, so he runs through all the lovely little moments he had with Gwen.
Watching for you to return from your daily jogs. Walking through the falling leaves of autumn with you. Making you coffee, pressing the steaming mug into your hands each morning. Handing out candy to the children at Halloween, tucking you under his cloak at the autumn chill. Watching movies with you as the snow fell outside, then curling up in bed with you, slotting his body against yours, giving you pleasure and taking pleasure from you in equal measure. Threading his fingers through yours as he arched over you, his eyes falling on the glinting light in the gold band in your ring finger, itâs twin on his own.
What does it mean for Horacio Carrillo to finally make a choice?
Of course heâs made choices before. Every day, he made a million choices, large and small. But the big stuff, the giant stuff, the life-shaping stuffâdid he have much choice? His fatherâs military career pretty much guaranteed his own career in the Search Bloc. His familyâs status pretty much guaranteed heâd marry a Catholic girl from a family of similar standing. And when Juliana chose to leave him, he really had no choice then, either.
Same with his pretend life of ten months. He had no choice in being paired with you, no choice in ending up in New England, little choice in working as a man who tended trees.
He imagines you in your shared home, alone. Johnson explained on the plane that youâd be able to buy the place, that WitSec only rents homes across the U.S. He explained that this has happened more than once, and that itâs actually not too difficult to let a witness slide into their pretend-life permanently.
The choice comes down to the most mundane thought. Horacio stands in his hotel room in Miami and wonders, who will make her coffee in the morning if Iâm not there?
*****
Winter always loses its charm by the time February rolls around. The fleecy white snow turns into grey slush, and everything is cold and soggy and depressing.
Davide leaving doesnât help at all.
You knew it would end eventually. You didnât have much insight into his situation, but you knew that the cartel targeting you would be easy enough to neutralize. They were only there because of the power vacuum left behind by Noriega, and they were poorly organized.
You just thought when it ended, youâd have more time. Which is one of your fatal flaws, always thinking youâll have more time. Your father died from a heart attack when you were in high school, and your mother died from a car crash when you were in college. You, more than anyone, should realize that time was never a guarantee, yet you always think you have a surfeit of it.
It's not your proudest moment, those final minutes with Davide. Not falling apart in a wash of tears, and not fleeing to your room. You should have committed to one extreme or the other. You should have either calmly explained your decision and bade him farewellâŠor you should have given in to the emotion of the moment and spilled everything.
Why do you never learn your lesson? You never had a chance to tell your parents that you loved them before they died. Why didnât you tell Davide you loved him before he left to return to whoever he was before?
You know you could find him. Youâd caught his lightly accented English and guessed at South America. Colombia, if he was hiding from Escobar. He told you about the Search Bloc. You knew some people in that theater. You could find him and tell him that you loved him, but would it do more harm than good? Doesnât he have the right to return to his previous life without any baggage from this one?
February, then: grey, cold. You go to work. You teach your classes and hold office hours. Political science can create real monsters, so you gently try to steer your students towards the path of diplomacy and not war. Maybe this is how you make amends, if such a thing is even possible.
You go home each evening and pull together a sandwich for dinner. Sometimes you get take-out, and you eat over the sink. Sometimes you watch T.V. and sometimes you read, but you always sleep alone with Davideâs pillow clutched to your chest, the lingering scent of him fading away within days.
-----
Then March. The snow starts to melt a bit, and under some of the trees in your backyard you start to see the little purple and white jewels of budding crocuses.
You resume your runs in the mornings. The campus shakes off its doldrums too and the students seem livelier.
You made the right choice to stay. You go to the bank with your real name and get a mortgage. You buy the house under your real name, and you go to the university human resources and hand over the paperwork Johnston gave you, and itâs weird at first, explaining why youâre not really Gwen, but it shocks you how quickly people adapt to using your real name.
-----
March is still fresh when thereâs a knock at your door one Saturday morning.
Your first guess is that itâs a delivery. Johnson promised to ship all of your stuff from your apartment in Panama City. Not that you have anything valuable, but it would be nice to have your record collection back. You donât want to have to rebuild that from scratch.
Youâre already out of practice from your prior life. You donât bother to check who it is, donât look out the window before you open the door, and so itâs a shock to see Davide standing there, his fist lifted like heâs about to knock again.
He drops his hand and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. You are speechless too, but you donât need words to because as he drops and unfurls his hand by his side, you see the way the gold ring on his finger catches the morning light.Â
Heâs still wearing his wedding ring, you think, and your body moves towards his, you leap into his arms and heâs there to catch you. You breathe out his name, but he chuckles, pushes you gently away from him.
âNo, cariño,â he replies, shakes his head. âNot Davide.â
âWell, no. I meanââ
âIâm Horacio,â he interrupts. You reply with your own name, and he repeats it, almost to himself.
âEverything else was me,â he adds. âEverything but the name. What we hadâŠâ He trails off, fixes you with that dark-eyed stare of his.Â
âEverything else was me too.â All of the bare facts of your fake life as Gwen hold little weight to that nebulous everything else: every joke and shared laugh, your Fourth of July panic attack. The feel of his hand on your waist when you went apple picking. The way his hair curled after a shower, and how you loved to run your fingers through it when he fell asleep beside you. All of it. Every stupid little moment that most other people would have already forgotten.Â
Horacio holds up his hand to show you the ring youâve already noticed. âI never took it off. It didnât even occur to me to.â
You hold up your own hand. âMe neither.â
He looks away, squints his eyes as he looks off into the distance, but you swear you can see tears there. He clears his throat, but his voice comes out rougher than usual.
âIâd like to see if Iâm as good a man as Davide was,â he says. âIâd like that chance, but only if youâŠâ Another cough as he clears he throat, then continues. âOnly if youâll have me.â
You reach out and take his hand in yours. You touch the warm metal on his finger, then the thought comes to you. You slide the ring off, and you feel Horacio watching you. On the plane, you each put your rings on yourselves, but that wasnât how it was supposed to go, was it?
Now, nearly a year later, you take his wedding ring off. For a long beat, you study itâitâs a simple thing, nothing elaborate. WitSec wasnât going to waste money on an expensive ring for a fake marriage, and it already has a shallow scratch in it, likely from his job at the nursery.
Then you lift your head and gaze at him, and without breaking eye contact, you slide the ring back on his finger. The smile that spreads across his face when you do is enough of a promise as any vows recited in a church, and he repeats the motion with your own ringâtakes it off, then slides it back on with intention.
And then, because thereâs no priest there to give the order, Horacio bends down and kisses you for the first time as himself, and the first time as yourself, and perhaps you learn your lesson about time after all because the moment you part, you whisper, âI love youâ to him.
And perhaps he needed to learn the same lesson because he sighs, pulls you closer to him, and whispers âI love you too.â
#colonel horacio carrillo x reader#colonel horacio carrillo#horacio carrillo x reader#horacio carrillo imagine#horacio carrillo#colonel carrillo#colonel carrillo imagine#colonel carrillo x reader#narcos#tropes and tales
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Katsuki: Oi, nerd! Truth or dare?
Izuku: Truth!
Katsuki: Do you have a crush on someone and why is it me?
Izuku *getting flustered*: Dare! I m-meant to say dare!
Katsuki: Great! I dare you to sign this marriage certificate now!
Izuku: What?
Katsuki: A dare is a dare, Izuku!
Izuku: O-Okay... I mean this has to be a fake certificate anyway, right, Kacchan?
Katsuki: ...
Izuku: R-Right, Kacchan?
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Lily, consider yourself incredibly lucky that you are so inconsequential to my life that statements like this won't do enough material damage to me to be able to sue your fucking ass.
Since we seem to be making heavy statements with no evidence just to be a malignant spiteful bitch today, how come nobody can find your marriage certificate, which should be public information just like your legal last name change?
You filed the paperwork like you said you would, right?
You and Mikaila ARE legally married, right?
You wouldn't be future-faking someone in a horrible living situation who has put all her hope of escape in the promises you've made to her, RIGHT?
You wouldn't be carrot-dangling false hope to keep her dependent on you even though you've never had any real intention of actually marrying her or helping her escape her abusive living situation, RIGHT??
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Undercover Mission Gone Wrong
Horangi: So you remembered to get the fake marriage certificate right?
König: Fake marriage certificate?
Horangi: Yes, the fake marriage certificate for the mission?
König:
König: Ah
Horangi: König, please do not tell me we are actually fucking married right now
König: Only in Germany :D
#Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare II#Call Of Duty#Konig#König#Horangi#Körangi#König x Horangi#Horangi x König
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The Kinda Unhinged Ratiorine Fic I Want to Read
In an (admittedly very contrived) AU situation, Dr. Ratio finds out he's about to be cut out of his (mostly estranged) family's inheritance forever because of his complete lack of interest in continuing the family line. Which, all factors considered, does make perfectly logical sense. Investment of capital should go to the branch of the lineage most likely to benefit from it, and Cousin Tiberius has five sons and daughters already. Let the house and the trust fund go to them.
But the library.
There's absolutely no way Veritas could bear to be permanently parted from the staggering assemblage of paper volumes under his collected family's auspices. Not only would being separated from tomes so full of memories be heart-wrenching, but think of the devastating blow to his research! There are records in those archives that no other mortal eyes have ever gazed upon!
So there's only one solution for it: He needs to pass on his family name, immediately.
(Andddd the rest is under a read more because what is brevity?)
Problem 1: Veritas Ratio is very gay.
Problem 2: Statistically, single men have the lowest chance of being selected for adoption placement, and this Child Welfare Agent is looking at his alabaster head very, very strangely.
Think, Ratio, think. What is the most efficient way to solve such a tedious quandary?
The obvious first step is to increase his likelihood of being selected by the adoption agency, and the quickest way to do that is... Eureka! How elegant a design! He just needs to enter into a (temporary) committed and stable partnership to demonstrate a degree of domestic dedication and home-building prowess!
Problem 3: ...Where in the universe is he going to find a stable and committed man willing to marry him?
Ratio does not exactly possess the world's most endearing personality. He might... never have had any form of romantic relationship lasting past a one-night stand even, because it turns out most people don't like being scored a 2/10 on their technique during intercourse.
So he's probably not going to find a stable and committed man.
But... He might at least find someone willing--for the right price.
Enter Aventurine (stage left). He's as expensive as they come, the greatest reward saved for the highest bidder, but despite his festering ambitions, he's still trapped as nothing more than a high-class escort, owned by a company the IPC has on the books as selling everything but what they actually trade in: Avgin slaves.
Sigonians... The reputation--and sleazy men's curiosity--precedes him, and though he only has to get on his knees for the truly bold nowadays, he hasn't yet been able to make the ultimate gamble, pull the last string needed to finally gain his freedom: the freedom to live his life as he pleases--and to enact every ounce of vengeance he's been storing for decades like cards up his sleeves.
Until now.
Until an absolute madman shows up at the underground headquarters waving around an offer that no average person would possibly make: He wants to buy Aventurine and wed him.
(Because marrying a Sigonian thrall is a safe and sane thing that safe and sane people do.)
The offer is far too good to be trusted: A real marriage certificate but a perfectly fake marriage, a no-fault divorce once an adoption is finalized, and a guaranteed sponsor for his citizenship documents. A year or two of fake homemaking, this Veritas Ratio claims, and then Aventurine can walk away a completely free man, no strings--no chains--attached.
Well, Aventurine of the Myriad Stratagems has always held one skill dearer to his heart than any other: a crystal clear knowledge of when to fold--and when to go all in.
(...Problem 4: Amber Lord help him, Aventurine's new husband is the most irritating man in the entire universe.)
Alas, if only that was their biggest problem. Somewhere between learning to navigate the citizenship process, the adoption process, a truly unacceptable level of systemic racism, and also, increasingly, each other, Ratio and Aventurine discover that the circumstances of their lives might be far more entangled than they ever could have imagined from the beginning, and the same shadowy parties that profited off Aventurine's existence might have a vested interest in parting Ratio from valuable research secrets--permanently.
While struggling to maintain a charming and loving facade and struggling not to kill each other behind the scenes, Aventurine and Ratio also end up having to out-roll and out-plan a particularly dangerous enemy; something they can really only do together.
Or, tl;dr: Dr. Ratio chooses the most efficient but most unhinged method of finding a husband that intelligence could possibly contrive, only to determine that marrying a guy whose track record for unexplained deaths matches his track record for card counting really is the encyclopedic opposite of "committed and stable." Ridiculously enough, the trouble they get into is almost entirely Ratio's fault, the only one who is remotely convincing in front of the Child Welfare Agency is Aventurine, and sometimes it turns out the guy you married for the library ends up being the guy you married for life.
#ratiorine#no wait what is the actual ship name#aventio#raturine#hsr fandom kinda wild for that one#dr. ratio#aventurine#honkai star rail#fic ideas#tbh star rail is my 'I don't actually go here' game#because I cannot afford two gachas#but I have been absolutely infected#by social media brainrot#after seeing all the ship content for these two#is this a shitpost?#maybe#but it comes from a place of love#also known as#I think it's really funny to see a ship do everything ass backwards#and still get a happy ending somehow#also remember#comedy is gold
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