#fake lana del rey fan spotted

[vasfasan]

Mark (needs to take away my) Chastity

This edit on TikTok: Here

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Investigations (Part 3): Ran Haitani x Fem!Reader

synopsis: when things are uncovered, can you handle the truth? Or are you doomed to make a mistake you can't rectify?

wc: 2.1k

tw: violence

masterlist

song recommendation:

Ran's past was a lie.

When you met him at the country club five years ago, your pasts had been explained in hushed tones and excited flurries of memories; sharing photos of the time before he was an executive of the communications company he worked in and the time before you were a journalist.

Ran said he had gone to jail twice, both for crimes he had been an accessory to as a delinquent kid, but that he'd cleaned up his act after and made his way up the corporate ladder. Nothing about gangs or being a Heavenly King in Tenjiku made it past his lips.

You had been honest, too. Your tales included the time you'd accidentally happened upon a massive gang fight, and that's how your investigative journalism skills began to bloom.

Who was fighting?

What were they going to do after?

Where did these gangs come from?

When did this argument start?

Why were they fighting?

How did gangs form in the first place?

Those were all the questions you sought out answers for that night and the next five years after, devoting your time and effort to finding the truth about everything.

"Babe?" You freeze, hands hovering over the keys at the sound of Ran's voice. You don't turn around - you can't even look at him the same these days - but he fixes that by walking over to you and turning you around in your chair. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Just doing some writing." His violet eyes search yours for the truth, but you know he won't be able to find it. Not while you're still trying to unravel his past. Ran kisses your eyelids sweetly, cupping your face in his large palms and littering his love across your face as you try your best to remain still and not confess about your research.

"Come to bed. It's late."

"I've got a few more paragraphs," you explain, motioning to the small print on your screen. "I'll be in bed soon."

But your lie is discovered shortly thereafter. It's five a.m. when Ran returns, seeing you slumped against your desk, arms cushioning your head, laptop screen blank. Instinctively, Ran pulls you out of your seat - making your notebook fall to the ground - grunting softly as he scoops you up into his arms and cradles you against his chest.

You willingly allow your husband to carry you to bed, where your two-year-old is also nestled among the sheets and pillows, thumb tucked into his mouth. And for a moment, Ran appreciates the view, seeing the two people he loved the most - besides his younger brother - laying in the bed he paid for, in the house he built, in the city he owns.

But then he remembers the slight disarray you left your things in at the desk and returns, picking up your pencil and notebook before laying them beside the laptop. Then his eyes catch "Ran's past?" written in bold, red letters, along with the words: "Tenjiku" and "Tandai" also written in the web of other words surrounding his name. "South Terano" is also on that web.

He'd have to take care of that in the morning.

And for the first time in a long time, worry bubbles to the surface of his mind, and Ran rips the sheet of paper from your notebook, tossing it into the kitchen trashcan and considering his deed done. He concealed his past to protect his family. And he's concealing the present to achieve the same goal; all for the future to be revealed later. That's how everything should be.

Right? _____________________________________________________________

"Ran," you whisper, lips running across his knuckles. His fingers cup your jaw, and his own lips press against your forehead, violet eyes darkening slightly. "It's six am. Where are you going this early?"

"I have to go into the office for a little while," he murmurs, kissing your forehead again. "I'll be back around lunchtime." Thoughts of Tandai and Tenjiku flash into your mind for a moment, but you smile at him sleepily anyway, absolutely sure these things are part of his past and not in the present.

"We'll be waiting for you, my love."

Despite all of your best intentions, though, you can't help but be consumed by the idea of Ran out, fighting, stealing, maiming... You consider asking him about these things, these concerns, but you decide against it as you're helping Kai with his lunch. If he wanted to leave it in the past, there's a good reason for it. He would have told you if it would be a problem later. Right?

Ran wouldn't jeopardize your family, your home, your life for something so... juvenile.

Right?

The clatter of keys on the counter in the living room brings you back to the present, and you perk up, your two-year-old mimicking your expression.

"Daddy!" Kai slides down from his seat and runs to greet Ran, clutching his father's legs with all his little might.

"Hey, buddy," Ran laughs, stooping to pick up his son with excitement. "How are you doing?" As son and father have a very stimulating conversation about playtime, you watch them in wonder, observing the way Ran makes his child a priority, just like he makes you a priority. But your countenance falls as soon as you see the blood spot on the bottom of Ran's lavender suit jacket. You know its blood because of the way it dried - that's no ketchup stain.

You fake a smile anyway, giving Ran a kiss on the cheek and tugging his jacket off after he sits Kai back on the tile floor.

"Hard day?"

"Kind of," Ran mumbles, and you catch the sight of a long scratch down the side of his neck. "But I made it through." You hum, taking the pin-striped jacket to the laundry room and slinging it over the side of the washer. You'd need that later.

"Need to relax?" you wonder, and Ran grins at you mischievously.

"Maybe later, after bedtime?"

_____________________________________________________________

But "later" never came.

Instead, Ran and Kai fell asleep on the sofa, watching a kid's movie, and you retreated to the office, powering up your laptop and pulling your notebook closer.

You immediately notice something's wrong, as the notes you had before were missing. Everything is gone. Not even a word of all the research you had done was there. Hadn't you written meticulous notes and names and things about Ran's past that could be interconnected? You break out in a sweat and search in every drawer of the desk, every place it could possibly be. You come up with nothing, and let out a frustrated sigh before slumping down in your seat and pulling up the computer history from yesterday. If you had to rewrite every single thing, that's fine. You'd just need more time to gather your evidence for the meeting on Saturday.

You're knee-deep in articles and police reports when you stumble across a more recent - actually as recent as this morning - article titled: "Ex-gangster found dead in meat factory". The picture of South Terano startles you, and you click on it, feeling a sense of dread as the article details how he was found hanging upside-down in the warehouse with a bullet hole in his head. And just like that, your newest lead has fizzled out. You groan, writing down "South Terano, deceased" on your notepad, then exiting the tab.

There had to be someone else you could ask. Shuji Hanma only provided you with Ran and Rindou's names, no one else.

"What's this?"

The door to the office shuts softly, and you look over your shoulder at Ran, who is walking toward you with measured steps, his eyes taking in your exhausted expression and the way you're hunched over that notepad. Again.

"What are you doing? You look tired, babe. Let's go to bed, yeah?"

Suddenly, pieces begin to click as Ran leans his hip against the desk, staring down at you in the chair with squinted violet eyes. "You threw away my notes... Didn't you?"

"What are you doing in my business, y/n?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you were in two gangs?" you counter, fingers shaking slightly. "Ran, this is something I needed to know before--"

"You wouldn't have married me if I told you." Ran's tone is cold, almost as if he's turned into the past version of himself without batting an eye.

"You don't know that." Ran leans forward, coming to eye level with you a smirking.

"I know you. And that's all I need." Ran reaches out a hand to close the laptop, still smiling and maintaining eye contact. "Now here's what you're going to do. First, you're going to stop digging into my past. There's nothing there that you need to find. Second, you're going to come to bed. It's late, you're tired. Finally," Ran cups your chin like he did this morning, except his fingers aren't so tender this time. "You're going to cut off contact with both Shuji Hanma and Taiju Shiba. I'm not really fond of either of them, and I'm not a fan of having them tell my business to my wife."

"They were only doing it because I asked."

"Taiju, maybe. Shuji isn't so eager to fuck you. I doubt he did it out of the kindness of his heart." You can't say anything to refute his claims. Ran is probably right. But you can't get one question out of your mind.

"Why are you trying to hide your past? What's there that I won't like?"

"What isn't there is the real question."

"What can you tell me about the gang that's just surfaced in Tokyo?" Ran's face slackens, transforming into a half-surprised, half-blank look that you realize is one that means he's been caught. "Oh, my fucking god," you breathe, tears stinging your eyes. "South, the fish, the murders, the crime... It's you. It's been you this whole time. I've been chasing my own husband down." Panic begins to set in, and your mind whirls around as you shake in your seat, bringing your hands up to your head. "Just tell me Rindou isn't in this," you breathe, but Ran doesn't answer you, still wearing that dumb look on his face. You let out a cry of shock, covering your mouth and trying to back away from Ran as much as you can.

The source is a lot closer than you think.

You slide down the wall, shocked into stillness as your sobs quiet, and Ran straightens up, placing his hands in his sweatpant pockets. The long nights, the early mornings, the bloodstains, the damn suits... It all led to this. Ran had never really left his old lifestyle behind. He'd gotten caught up in it, and brought you and Kai into it unknowingly.

"I never meant for it to get this... unhinged." You can't reply, tucking your knees into your chest as you stare past Ran and at the opposite wall, wondering how you'd missed the signs, the obvious signs that Ran was up to no good. "I know this is a lot to take in, but we can--"

"I can't stay here."

The words fall from your mouth and Ran flinches, shaking his head.

"No. You can't leave."

"Yes, I can," you mumble, standing and wiping your tears. "I can do whatever I need to do to keep Kai safe, and--"

"Kai is safer here than out there," Ran snaps, pointing at the window. "I'm not letting my son out of my sight. Your snooping has caused enough trouble as it is; I wouldn't have had to go and clean up this morning if you hadn't--"

"Don't blame this on me," you retort, pointing at Ran accusatorially. "You're the one who joined a gang and is still in one! What kind of role model are you for our son now?"

"I provide the best way I can," Ran grits out, clenching his fists. "You've never gone hungry, cold, or ill-clothed a day in your life while you were with me."

"I would rather die than enjoy a life paid for with blood money."

"Blood money? You really think--" You try to push past Ran, but he grabs your shoulders, yanking you back in front of him. "You're not going anywhere except to our bed."

"Let me go, Ran Haitani," you mutter, hands balling up into little fists. "Or I'll scream."

"Who will hear you? Kai?"

How had you been so foolish? Ran's lips press together momentarily as his violet eyes run over your figure, taking stock of all your five-foot-six stature. You're no match for Ran. Not mentally, and certainly not physically. Ran notices your defeat and his hands slide down to your wrists, tugging your delicate hands up to his chest.

"Everything will be fine," he whispers, drawing you close. "I'm taking care of us. Just trust me."

Just trust me.

[crimsonhcadache]

      - ̗̀ NOW INTRODUCING:  IVES ❝ IVY ❞ SERRANO !

( DANNA PAOLA, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER, SCORPIO, 24 ) I just spotted IVES “IVY” SERRANO at the beach today. Don’t you know them? They live down by the TOWERS and usually hang out with the RICH KIDS & MUSICIANS cliques. From what I’ve heard, they can be DECEITFUL, but they’re also ADAPTIVE. I always think of them when i hear LAST LAUGH - FLETCHER and tend to associate them with STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE, A FRESH SET OF STILETTO NAILS, AND RED LINGERIE. ( tay, she/her, 22, est )

full name: natalie rose serrano ives serrano nicknames: ivy, poison ivy faceclaim: danna paola voiceclaim: lana del rey birthday: november 1st, 1996  zodiac: scorpio sun, aries moon, gemini rising sexuality: bisexual occupation: influencer, instagram model, musician, scammer / thief positive traits: effervescent, bold, creative, charismatic, coquettish, intuitive, ambitious, alluring, adventurous, perceptive  negative traits: cantankerous, deceitful, envious, manipulative, dramatic, stubborn, narcissistic, materialistic, reckless, quick-tempered character inspos: maddy perez euphoria, jackie burkhart that 70’s show, blair waldorf gossip girl, margo hanson the magicians, every lana del rey song ever, lucrecia montesinos and cayetana pando elite, rosa diaz brooklyn nine nine, the entire rose family schitts creek, jen harding dead to me

- ̗̀♡ — › background !

the main thing u need to know about ivy is that she is lying ! always !! her real name isn’t even actually ivy smh

she was born NATALIE ROSE SERRANO, to two working class parents in new york city. she knew from a young age that she was just supposed to be rich and famous, and that something had gotten mixed up somewhere and she was put in the wrong life.

in high school she got a scholarship to a fancy private catholic school, and that’s where she started to hone her craft of manipulating rich people. she would befriend all of the richest bitches at school and take advantage of everything that came along with it: vacations to far away places, stays in the family’s cabins and lake houses, even designer clothes that her friends no longer wanted and would gift to her, thinking it was their idea all along

as she grew up and got better at getting what she wanted out of people, her entitled attitude only got worse, driving a wedge between her and her parents, who kept waiting for her to develop a work ethic and kept being disappointed. a few months after she graduated high school, on her 18th birthday, her parents kicked her out of the house and cut her off, hoping that it would force her to grow up and take on any responsibility

but that plan backfired for them, her parents underestimating how truly stubborn natalie was. the day after her 18th, she wandered into a local strip club and got a job, figuring it’d be the easiest and quickest way to get some cash, and she took to it naturally and actually really enjoyed stripping

she started to embody an entirely new persona that she had created for herself, dancing under the name POISON IVY and telling everyone she was a trust fund baby that had been cut off from her rich parents, needing to dance to supplement her income, and her lies just continued to spiral out of control until she almost started to believe it herself. she had never told anyone at the club her real name, not even the other strippers, just going by “ivy” for a while.

she had learned to weaponize the power she had over people by being pretty and charming, using her looks for absolute evil and doing whatever it took to get money—from straight up pickpocketing, to making men buy her expensive gifts, to blackmailing, to sugar babying, to getting patrons wasted and manipulating them into tipping her absurd amounts… she did it all, very quickly earning enough to live the life she had always dreamed of, that she felt she deserved for whatever twisted reason.

she started posting on instagram with the name poison ivy generally just flaunting her carefree, extravagant life, often exaggerating or down right lying just to really dazzle her quickly growing audience

as she started to go down the influencer route, she realized she needed to do something to hide the skeletons in her closet ( the fact that she didn’t actually come from money and was making far more than was normal for even the best of dancers, a couple of small possession / shoplifting charges, and just generally anything that could lead people to her real identity ) so she started to tell people her name was ives, fully taking on the new identity. she even went so far as to make some of the people that had been closest to her sign NDAs about her real identity, making sure that no one could sell info about her should her plan of being famous work out

she also moved out to california to run away from everyone in the city that was starting to catch on to what she was doing, basically doing all the same shit but now in a New Place.. this was about 3-4 years ago, so she’s been in sunhollow for a while now doing the whole influencer thing !!

and it did work out !! at first she was definitely buying followers/likes to boost her likelihood of brand sponsorships, but eventually she faked it until she made it and actually attained influencer status. she then used her newfound internet fame ( and some classic blackmailing ) to get herself a record deal 

she also started sleeping around with pretty much any famous person she could, having very public relationships and breakups and scandals to keep her name in the press, which ultimately lead to more exposure/people following her, if only to see what she did next, which lead to even more sponsorships

eventually she stopped dancing and just focused on her influencing and more recently ( like... less than 6 months ago recently ) her music career. but she never stopped sugar babying and scamming rich stupid men, still very much using that as a means to keep up her lifestyle. she’s also done a few modeling things, but it’s mostly just like catalog work or being the face of a trendy campaign bc she’s way too short for the runway

she also recently made an only fans account bc she was bored one night and was mostly planning on posting once as a joke but then she made a bunch of money / got a bunch of subscribers and was like oh word ? i can do that ! so she will post on there from time to time but she’s not like… super serious about it ya know ? also her music label is big mad at her for it bc they’re like bUt yOuR rEpUtAtIoN and she’s like yeah.. but my bank account ? also it’s no secret she used to be a stripper so she rly just.. doesn’t give a fuck ! 

so basically she’s jus here making money being pretty and pulling a long ass scam on… everyone

- ̗̀♡ — › personality / headcannons !

she’s a real two faced bitch… she has perfected the art of becoming whoever she thinks other people want her to be, quickly adapting her personality to get whatever she wants

she’s usually pretty friendly actually, really charming and outgoing and just trying to have a good time

she has a pretty short temper tho and holds grudges like you wouldn’t believe, so once you’re on her bad side… good luck lol she is so ruthless

she’s like… deeply, deeply selfish and will always put herself first, but she’s so manipulative that she can make people do things that they think are their idea, but it’s really just something she planted in their head so it’s not always obvious

also very spoiled and will throw a mf fit if she doesn’t get her way or u say no to her

always going out !! always doing the most !! she’s the type to show up randomly at ur door at 8pm on a tuesday with a bottle of tequila and make u party with her whether u like it or not

she’s a lot smarter than she lets on sometimes, like she knows people expect her to be stupid and ditzy and shallow and she’ll let them underestimate her when it’s beneficial

always looks perfectly put together— her nails are always meticulously manicured, usually w stiletto shaped acrylics, and you’ll literally never see her outside her house without makeup and a perfectly composed outfit. it’s also a rare occasion that she’s not wearing at least six inch heels, trying to make up for bein so mf short ( she’s 5’3 )

she talks A Lot but is really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything, like you can be best friends with her for months and then just be like “i don’t actually know a single thing about her”

always up to no good and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong !! she’s always got some sort of scheme going or getting in to some kind of drama

v much a hoe and v much proud of it, will sleep w just about anyone especially if she can get something out of it

also a serial dater !! she’s always hoping in and out of relationships and being rumored to be with a dozen people at once

most definitely calls paparazzi on herself, especially when she’s around other famous ppl but will never admit it

compulsive liar, she will literally lie about the dumbest things like she doesn’t even need a reason to lie she jus.. does

she has a luxury two bedroom apartment that she lives alone in ( one room is kinda a guest room but also mostly just a giant closet ) in the towers and the gag is she doesn’t even know how much her rent is bc one of her random sugar daddies pays her rent.. her power tbh 

- ̗̀♡ — › wanted connections !

hookups / flings / one night stands / fwbs all that shit !!

exes on bad terms … gimme drama pls

enemies / ppl she’s stolen from maybe… she would definitely deny it and say they’re jus jealous of her or smth stupid but that could make the feud worse

party pals !! like i said she goes out a lot and always somehow manages to make new friends and drag them into her shenanigans

on again / off again exes… i want the Angst so bad..

shallow friendships / influencer friends like they play it up a lot for insta bc they both have a pretty big following but they dont really... like each other that much ?? like they definitely seem to be a lot closer than they really are

pr relationships this could be past or present !! in the same vein as the last one except they pretend to date ( or maybe just act like they’re gonna date but never actually do ?? like to fuel rumors ) 

unlikely friends !! like ppl who are nice and sweet and Pure, she could use a lil good energy in her life

situationship / flirtationship like they’re super flirty and maybe hook up a couple times but everyone assumes they’re dating or like gonna date but they’re jus vibing. bonus points if one or both of them actually has feelings but can’t tell if they’re just friends / casually hooking up or if it could turn into something more.. im a slut for some mutual pining !!

neighbors … mb they hate her for always being loud n throwing mini parties OR maybe they join in

mean girl rivalries !!

someone she’s taking advantage of / stealing from without them knowing .. oof

partner in crime !!!

one sided crushes or like someone she’s stringing along smh

sugar daddies mb 😇

someone to put her in her mf place JDKDKD like they call her out on her bs and are like “i see what ur doing bitch stay away from my friends” type thing

idk anything really !! gimme all the messy plots ok :~)

[crewhonk]

Don’t Call Me Angel

AN: I meant for this to be sexy but then I thought about it more and now its..... sad. this also isn't edited so like, sorry about that 

Trigger Warnings: allusion to sexual assault (multiple occasions), PTSD, touch sensitivity, prostitution, exploitation of minorities for profit

Songs: “It’s Nice to Have a Friend”-- Taylor Swift / “Don’t Call Me Angel”-- Ariana Grande, Lana Del Rey, Miley Cyrus / “Work”-- Charlotte Day Wilson / “Bad Dreams-- Piano Version”- Faouzia

CURRENT SERIES

___________________________

You’d never expected your first mission for the Avengers would be such an intense one. The images on the screen in front of you sent a chill down your spine, and a fire rise in your heart. To say that what you were going to be headed into was a disgusting, immoral thing would be the biggest understatement in the world. 

The pictures both on the screen and in the file folder in front of you on the briefing table made your blood run too-cold and too-hot at the same time. It was a prostitution ring, but not one that you would usually imagine a prostitution ring to be. You’d gotten tips from those in the pictures which told you that the women and men in the pictures were anything from happy. 

Mutants of every shape, colour, size, gender, and sexuality were in front of you. Some, covered in fur— pupils shaped like a cats or a goats as they made eye contact with the camera and wore a devious smile of nothing but sharp teeth. The heady lights of the strip club they were paraded at was dark enough to hide the accounts of bruising and broken bones. There were shape shifters, and elementals, and those who could warp minds and material and it broke your heart knowing that they were likely being exploited. 

You were the only one fitted for the mission. Wanda was out with Strange in Tibet currently, Bruce Banner was too well known, Nebula wouldn’t have qualified and frankly, Rocket was less than suitable for playing the submissive naive role. 

You however, were trained for this— two semesters at Julliard before being inducted with SHIELD and working directly with a revived Natasha Romanoff gave you that.

The wings sprouting from your back didn’t hurt either. 

You’d been born with them and then ultimately rejected to live with Charlie at XSGY, and were raised by him and Storm. You’d grown up alongside Jean Grey and Scott Summers and thankfully, they had turned out to be the only family you ever really wanted. 

Then, you had joined the Avengers— a tight knit team who had saved the world from the largest threat in the universe and had opened the doors to new recruits. You had felt the need to spread your wings (pun intended) after 22 years of living at the School and had scored the interview. It wasn’t long until you were living in the compound on the top floor with the majority of the team— you’d trained with Natasha and Wanda, practiced flying and air combat with Rhodey and Sam and sat across the couch from Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. 

Eventually, however, Steve had left your weekly movie nights with poor excuses every time. ‘Natasha and I need to head tot he lab— Bruce needs us’, or ‘I’m volunteering at the Humane Society (yes, at 8pm)’, or your favourite ‘yeah— I adopted a dog. Her name is Cap’. Bucky and You had watched him make excuse after excuse until he had just stopped showing up altogether. 

What followed was an instance of one too many times falling asleep on him. One too many times of reaching for the popcorn at the same time. One too many times that he would wrap his arm around your shoulders and brush your wings with his fingers and make you moan against him before pulling away with a hot blush on your cheeks. When he had found out that your wings were the most sensitive part of your body, he had taken advantage of it— Steve commented every time he would flirt with you how much the old Bucky was coming back— touching them as he passed you in the kitchen, tugging the tips of your white feathers when you were in training and catching you off guard. 

You eren’t all that subtle with your actions either. You’d steal his knives from his holsters during training— stepping too close to him and sneaking your hand over his hip and down his thigh before stealing his favourite knife (Rebecca) and throwing it dead centre over his shoulder and into the simulated target. You’d make his coffee in the morning and fan him with your wings after a particularly gruelling training session with Sam or Nat. 

The instances of you and Bucky flirting had come to a head one night— no special night in particular— but you had been baking cookies in the kitchen late at night and he had joined you (‘Why’re you up, Buck?’ ‘Nightmare.’ ‘Wanna talk about it?’ ‘Nah, I just want a cookie.’), taken a handful of cookies and had kissed you gently goodnight. 

His lips had been soft on yours— nothing like the hairy bull of assassin in front of you. His calloused hands were gentle on the side of your neck and waist, and his tongue had barely teased your bottom lip before he pulled away, backed up with the cookies in hand and a small smile on his face, raised the cookies in salute and turned to leave the kitchen. 

The following days had been full of talks in the dark of the kitchen— trying to figure out grounds and rules and limits for a relationship until you’d figured everything out and showed up to the family Sunday breakfast holding hands and blushing furiously. There were no hollers of joy, Steve was the only one to say ‘I’m happy for you’, but their relationship was obviously received well due to everyones knowing and satisfied smirks. 

That had been six months ago, and now it was time for you to become a real Avenger and have your first mission. 

You walked into your room where you knew Bucky would be curled up in the middle of your nest and took off your leggings, leaving your sweater on and climbing into the bed with him. He hummed, just waking up from his nap and opened his arms, sighing dreamily when his fingers found their place deep in your feathers. You shivered against him and threw a leg and a wing over him and pulled him closer. 

“How was the meeting?” He mumbled and you let out a long breath. 

“I leave tomorrow for three months.” You stated and his head lifted, looking at you through squinted incredulous eyes. 

“For your first mission?” He grumbled and you shrugged. 

“It’s a crime against mutants, and Wanda isn’t available.” You said and ran your hands through his long hair. 

“Someone needs to do something, Buck. The way these girls are being treated should never be allowed in the first place.” You mumbled and Bucky propped himself on his elbows and towered over you. 

“Girls? YN what are you getting yourself into?” He asked lowly and you sucked in a breath. 

“You know I can’t tell you, Buck.” You whispered and his face tightened. 

“Is it what I think it is?”

“Probably.” You replied and his head fell into the crook of your neck and moaned. 

“I don’t like it but you’re much more stubborn and brave than me and Steve were at your age. I know you’ll kill it.” He sniffed and you cooed at him, pulling him on top of you and wrapping both wings around him, hiding him from the world for your own selfish reasons. 

“I love you. Have I told you that today?” You whispered and he snuck his arms under your back and nuzzled your breastbone. 

“Only this morning when I gave you your coffee.” He joked and you giggled. 

“Well, I love you. I love you always, James.”

_____________________

That had been three months ago— your last truly happy memory you could remember. The mission had been worse than the briefings and therapy sessions had prepared you for. Your wings had grown sparse with stress and abuse, and your thin hands shook as they glued dollar store feathers into the sparse areas. Your show was up in an hour, and your wings had to be beautiful but this— gluing fake feathers onto yourself— felt dirty and shameful. You had lost about fifty pounds in three months— the Ringleader (he never showed his face or said his real name) was sure to have all his girls as small and dainty as possible so they would be easier to control by the men who paid for your services. Less of a fight if there was less calories in you.

“You missed a spot. Hand me a feather, please.” A small voice piped up from behind you. You lowered your wing to reveal your closest friend here. She was nothing more than 5’1— small, petite stature, but the reason she was such a main showgirl was the tiger fur covering her body. She had normal human hands, but her fingernails were made to be pointed to better represent claws. Her tail had been broken by the Ringmaster in many places so it had a handful of cricks alone the meter long appendage. Her eyes were the most beautiful thing you had ever seen— sparkling gold (jaded by years of this place) and impossibly black slits down the centre. You were always nervous when those same eyes landed on her, but one night when Ringmaster had rewarded them with the highest quality narcotics, you had giggled mercilessly over how much the slits had dilated. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, turning back to the mirror and beginning to brush on concealer over the cut on her jaw. 

“You’re nervous.” Sasha whispered and you let your shoulders drop. “Why?”

“There’s something I should have told you the second you took me under your wing— no stop laughing— but I’ll have to tell you after tonight.” You sniffed and winced when the bristles of your brush caught the edges of the newly formed scab. 

“Why can’t you tell me now?” Sasha asked and just as you were about to respond, there was a ‘places’ call for you— the finale. 

“I promise. After tonight, no more secrets.” You tried to smile reassuringly as you rose to your feet. Your platform stilettos made it so that you were at least a foot taller than Sasha and you wrapped your arms around her neck in a tight embrace. “I’ll come back for you.”

Tonight was it— you had finally gathered enough evidence about who the Ringmaster was and evidence of the abuse that went on with his girls. Bucky and Sam and Steve and Nat and Tony were here and your hands shook as you asked towards the curtains and waited for the Ringmaster to announce you. It wasn’t long until he did. 

“Now, please allow me to introduce to you my gem. My life and love and my favourite prize. My favourite treasure that I share with you when the sun sets. Please welcome, My Angel!”

____________________

Bucky hated everything about this situation. He hated the smoke in the air fo the bar. He hated the cracked fake leather fo the couches. He hated the dirty stained curtains that covered the walls. He hated seeing girls parading around in nothing but their mutations as men and women alike slammed them down on there laps and had their way with them right there. He hated how he could see bruises, and ribs and hipbones and limps in some of the dancers. He hated the man’s voice who announced every dancer as /his/ as if these victims were a collection. 

He hated most that you were last. He hated that you were /his/ angel. He hated how much his breath left his lungs as the heavy curtains were pulled back to reveal someone who looked like you. 

You’d lost a lot of weight very quickly— it showed in your face and hips. You’d very obviously had your nose broken— and he knew better than the drunk patrons that the places on your cheekbone, jaw and lip were heaviest— likely due to the abuse you’d endured. He knew you were too young for this but he had never been one to tell you how to do something. 

He wish he had chains you to your bed until you forgot about doing this. 

You began to walk under the lights on you, leaving you exposed in nothing but a silk robe, kneepads, impossibly high heels and likely a lingerie set. You eyed the pole as if it was the sexiest thing you’d ever seen and grabbed it, stroking it as if it were the prettiest cock in the world while making eye contact with some sweaty overweight man in the front row. He, in kind, threw what looked like a hundred dollar billet you and you winked, reaching under the hem of your robe and tucking it into your bra. 

You dropped and bounced while the pole remain between your legend smirked, undoing the fabric belt holding your robe closed and pulled it open, revealing a deep red lingerie set that matched your kneepads and heels and a sudden explosion of money landed on the stage. You threw your head back and laughed, spinning on your knees and backing your ass against the pole began to twerk. 

“Bucky—“ Sam tried, but it was too late. The tumbler in his hand had already exploded and Bucky found it suddenly very hard as a man in a business suit slapped the stage excitedly. You crawled towards him on your hands and knees and raised your wings wide and proud and the crowd lost their mind. 

“I can’t fucking watch this anymore.” Bucky snarled into the comms and he could hear Steve huff. 

“Buck— we corresponded with her last night. She has a plan. In the folds of the curtains on the stage there’s a pistol. When the Ringmaster comes down and closes the night she’ll shoot him in the knees and we’ll take it from there. Stay calm. She’s stronger than she looks.” Steve warned cautiously and Steve could feel his heart break for his best friend. He never did like seeing Natasha sell her femininity to complete a mission, and he voiced it multiple times as the two would get ready for bed together. 

“She’s doing… really well, Ice.” Tony tried and Bucky cut him off with a snarl as you leaned forward and kissed the Business Man who gave you a large wad of cash. You smirked and shouldered your robe off, pushing it into his hands and winking. The man fell back into the chair as if dazed. 

You stood again, hands squeezing your breasts as you flapped your wings and flew to the top of the pole. There was a pause, and then a red bra falling from the roof followed by you who slid down the pole head first and breasts bared. Your wings flapped cautiously as your head almost touched the stage, but you’d clenched your thighs in time, stopping in time. Your nipples were hard due to the anxiety and chill of the room but a raging monster which had ignited in Bucky’s whole body roared loudly. No. This was something only /he/ should be able to see— that was /his/ best girl. You put your hands on the ground and let one leg fall down, slipping it past the floor and landing in the splits where you once against began to twerk towards the edge of the stage. You rolled over onto your butt and lay back, lifting her legs in the air and shimmying your underwear over your thighs and calves and leaving your body wholly exposed for the crowd. You rolled over and faced leaned against the pole, spreading your legs and exposing your sex as you flung the underwear right into someone wearing a ‘Bride to Be!’ Sash’s face. 

He had to give her credit, you did know how to work a crowd. 

You were crawling through cash— writhing for the crowd and shaking your body for anyone with a dime in their wallets for who knows how long. Bucky had stopped watching, tears welling up in his eyes as he thought about the pain you had endured these past three months— without him or any of the team you called family. 

Eventually the music stopped, and the crowd stood, applauding and yelling nasty things they would like to do to you. You stood, and pranced over to the man who had walked on stage. His face was covered by a balaclava and your wings flapped nervously as his placed a hand on your ass and pulled you to his side. He grabbed your face roughly and slammed his lips onto your own and your wings went stiff— the same way they did when you were about to cry or when you were in an emotional low. 

His mouth dipped down to harshly bite your nipple and you tend your head away from the crowd as they screamed happily. His free hand not holding a microphone cupped your sex eagerly and Bucky saw red when the Ringmaster dipped to fingers into your cunt, pulling them out and sucking them into his mouth. 

“You did just as well as you taste, Angel.” He crooned into the microphone and you didn’t make eye contact as you turned towards the stage entrance, hand landing on the curtain as you looked back over the crowd. As if it were natural, your eyes landed on him and Bucky could see your chin wobble and a deeply relieved smile spread across your face. 

“Doors are locked, and the feds are waiting. Whenever YN is ready.” Tony informed and Bucky stalked towards the stage with Sam beside him. Before he could hop on the stage, you had turned around, closed one eye and pointed the guns hat had appeared in your hands at the back of the Ringmasters knees, shooting both of them out. Bucky couldn’t hear the screams, then because you had broken character, dropping the gun and running downt he stage to your man. 

You jumped off the stage and into his arms and Bucky nodded at Sam who threw a shock blanket over your wings and shoulders. Bucky curled his arms around your waist and pulled you close, nosing your neck and holding you as you sobbed— great heaving sounds that shook him to his core. 

“I’m here, Princess. I’m here. Always and forever, baby.” He crooned, continuing to whisper sweet nothings as you buried yourself in him and he watched as the Feds and MPD arrest anyone and everyone they could get their hands on. 

Justice had never been a greater relief than having his girl in his arms and the man who had tortured her for three months being slammed into he stage and handcuffed. No punishment would be enough, but the seventeen life sentences he had been told about seemed good enough. 

“I love you.” You cried and he held you closer, his head breaking over how tiny you’d become and over the state of your wings. He could see the fake feathers, now and how small the muscles at the base fo them had become. He pulled back and held your cheeks in his welcomingly hot hands and your glistening eyes looked at him. 

“I love you, YN. I love you so much.” He pressed his lips to your gently, and you flinched lightly before warming up to him again. You had had to remind yourself that this huge, hulking man would never lay a finger on you. You were safe. You were safe with Bucky. 

“I’m not— I can’t do much more than kissing for a long time, I think.” You said, sniffling and he pulled you closer, tucking you under his arm as you toed off your heels and slipped them into he sandals Steve had brought you. 

“You were brilliant, YN. Not up there— well, yeah up there but that’s not what I mean, you know? I meant that you did something amazing doing this.” Steve had fumbled and you rolled your eyes and laughed slightly. 

“Nice to see you too, Steve.” Steve had shown himself out when Bucky glared particularly hard at him nd you turned back to Bucky. 

“I have a request.” You asked and Bucky nodded immediately. 

“Anything.”

“I have a friend who needs a home.”

“Done.”

____________________

It had been a week since the team returned from Miami. A week since Ringmaster— Victor Doom— had been arrested. A week since the Avengers welcomed their new teammate, Sasha. 

A week since Bucky had seen you. 

You’d shut yourself in your room as soon as the med bay had ceased you. You didn’t attend the debriefings— you’d sent in all of your files by e-mail, and had left voice memos on the parts which were unclear. Your voice was empty and soft and nothing like the boisterous, outspoken woman you had been before you had left. 

Sasha had found Bucky in the gym late at night and she had perched herself on the bench by his things until he had beat the shit out of several leather punching bags. He turned and saw the feline woman waiting and sighed, trudging over to her and sitting on the bench next to her. He thanked Sasha for the ice water bottle she handed him and hunched over, holdings head in his hands. 

“Why is this happening?” He whispered and she sighed. 

“You want the real truth or the fluffy truth?” She replied and Bucky looked over at her, resting his cheek in his hand and asking for the first option. 

“He treated her the worst. In the three months he’d known her, he totally attached himself to her. She was forced to sleep in his room, and she was the finale every night. She was his prized possession. I have a theory since she has those beautiful white wings he thought she was an angel of some sort— and if you had an angel under your foot it made you a God. Ringma— Victor was drunk on that power. She needs time, and she needs to relearn that men aren’t going to hurt her.” She shrugged and he rubbed his wet eyes with his fists. 

“I should have never let her go on that mission.” He whimpered and her hand was warm as it rested on his forearm. 

“I also know she was the strongest. Out of all fo us she was the strongest, and the bravest and the kindest. Whenever he would want one of us she was there with her gentle hands and her smile and she was there. I think that’s what she needs. Is someone to just show her kindness with no alterior motive.” Sasha mumbled and he stood, looking down at her. She handed him his bag and offered a small smile which showed her tiny fangs. 

“Thank you, Sasha. I’m happy you’re here.” He said and the fur on her arms rose. Bucky nodded at her and she smiled at her hands as he left her to go to his girl. His beautiful girl who needed him. 

____________________

The room was dark when he opened the door. The black out curtains and windows were shut and there were no lights on— even the alarm clock on your bedside table had been unplugged. Bucky wasn’t even sure if you knew what day it was as he crawled on the bed towards you, hand falling on your shoulder as he turned on the soft warm light on your headboard. 

You jumped when you felt his touch, wings flapping up and launching you instinctually across the room. Your eyes, usually warm in colour had turned an ice white, and your stance was immediately offensive. You looked wild and it broke Bucky’s heart. 

He kneeled on the bed and held his hands open non-threateningly, slowly walking towards you. 

“YN, It’s me, James Buchanan Barnes. It’s September 22nd, 2024 and we’re in Northern New York. Your best friend is Natasha Romanoff and you’re safe here.” He said immediately, making his chest rumble as he spoke to make his voice sound rounder and warmer. Your wings unruffled slightly and lowered until his hands touched yours and you shoved him away from yourself, launching him back onto the bed. He had forgotten how truly powerful you were— you were always gentle with him. 

“Your favourite colour is yellow. Not the primary colour version, but a warmer version of it— like a dark sunflower. Your favourite movie is the Zookeepers Wife because you love Jessica Chastain and because it’s genuinely an amazing movie. Your favourite music is pop, but you pretend to be cool and say alternative music. You love leg day at the gym but you hate arm and ab day.” He tried again, shaking himself off and walking back towards you. This time, he was able to touch your arms, and brush back your hair from your face. Eventually, your irises came back, and you blinked up at him as if you hadn’t known you were in the defensive. 

“YN?” He whispered and you shook your head, swaying and falling into his arms, wings limp behind you. He picked you up easily and put you on the bed. 

“What— why’re you in here? I locked the door and I’m not really in the mood—“

“You need someone, YN. You’re not alone and you’re safe. I’m not going to touch you anymore unless you want it, but you need help and I’m here for you.” He whispered and you sucked in a big breath, laying back down and turning your back on him. 

“I don’t need help.” Your voice was small and unsure and Bucky nodded. Instead of leaving, he walked to the window and pushed the curtains open slightly so he could unlatch the windows and push them open. He closed them again and turned to the mess of the floor, beginning to clean it up. He took a washcloth from your bathroom and wiped the dust off of the flat surfaces of your room and lit a candle— your favourite— so the room could smell better than it was right now. 

“You do.” He said finally, and he was unsure if you were awake to hear him. “You do, and I’m not going anywhere. You got me until you don’t want me anymore, baby.” He said, opening the door and leaving once more. He wasn’t sure you had heard him until he got three feet from the door and heard one, heaving sob from your room followed by silence. 

God, he hoped you’d want him until the end of time. 

______________________

The plates of food were hot in Bucky’s hands as he toed open your door. It was a quick recipe that his ma had taught him (the only dish he’d remembered— even back then), and just so happened to be one of your favourite meals. 

“YN?” He called, noticing that your sheets were rumbled and empty. The curtains were still closed, but the window had remained open and the light had remained on from when he’d visited early int he morning- or late last night. 

There was no response but Bucky put the dishes on your desk and noticed the the light from under the bathroom door was peeking through. He walked across the room and knocked, calling your name once more. When he was greeted with a small cry and a sound of frustration, Bucky’s mind went to the darkest place and he slammed the door open, expecting to see the worst. 

Instead, he saw you facing the mirror, a garbage bag half full fo broken or dead feathers. He’d frightened you again, but insured of becoming defensive like you had last night, your eyes spilled over with tears. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in and call. I’m sorry, please.” You begged and Bucky’s heart went to his throat. 

“I’m not gonna hurt you, baby. I thought you were hurting yourself so I got scared. I’m sorry I scared you” He whispered and YN’s chin wobbled as she nodded. 

“Do you— do you need help?” He asked you, noticing that the place where feather met flesh was left untouched. You’d never been able to reach that part of your wings, and always had himself or Natasha help you. 

“What?” You asked, looking at him through the mirror. 

“Do you need help? Preening, I mean?” He asked again and you breathed in a large breath and nodded, watching as he slowly moved towards you, making his movements obvious as to not frighten you. “I’m gonna touch your wings now, okay?”

You nodded and sniffed and his fingers found their favourite place in your feathers. He picked out the soft downy feathers that had turned brown, and then moved to the larger feathers, apologizing profusely when it hurt or he pulled too slowly. It was another half hour before he finished, and he ran his fingers in the direction the feathers naturally fell. 

“Can I kiss your shoulder?” He whispered, looking at you through the mirror. Your wings twitched and he swore the tips of your ears got darker. 

“Yes.” You breathed and he didn’t break eye contact as he dipped his head and placed his lips on your shoulder, holding them there for a few seconds before kissing it again quickly and rising to his full height. 

“Want to shower and I’ll set dinner up? We can watch something on Netflix— we don’t even need to touch or talk if you don’t want to.” He said, fingers on your wings again, making you shiver. 

Your bottom lip trembled and you nodded slowly, turning to him and placing your hands on his chest. You flattened the wrinkles in his t-shirt and didn’t look into his eyes as he kissed your forehead and turned to go. 

“Call em if you need me, babe.” He said softly and he turned back to look at you, averting his eyes quickly as you began to pull off your clothes despite him seeing it all before numerous times. 

___________________

So, Bucky waited quietyl, listening for you to call him but he waited and waited until you came out fo the bathroom forty minutes later with your hair sleek and clean (for the first time since you’d left) and skin shaved and scrubbed raw. Your skin as pink from irritation fo your exfoliator and cloths and scrubs and heat rashes patterned your body due to the boiling water you’d used. 

“You okay?” Bucky asked, voice quiet and gruff. You looked at him and seemingly remembered he was there. You hugged your robe closer and he looked at his hands to give you the privacy you’d had taken away from you in Miami. 

“I— I will be. Maybe one day. I’m sorry I took too long, I needed to get /him/ off of me.” She replied, shifting her feet. She moved to her dresser and pulled out the softest clothes she could find, pulling them on and slowly moving toward her bed to sit two feet away from Bucky. 

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I— you shouldn’t have to feel you need to hang around. You deserve someone good.” You said and he looked at you sharply, making your gaze fall quickly to your shaking hands. His hand moved to cradle your chin and lift your gaze to his own. His eyes were warm and soft and nothing like the men you’d encountered in that god forsaken club. 

“Hey, you hung around me when I had my nightmares. You told me I was more than my trauma and more than the things I’d done. I’m here for you who you are now. Not who you were before.” He murmured and your eyes filled with tears. 

“But I’m— I had to do /things/ with other men. What if im all used up, or broken or something.” You cried and he scooted closer, petting your cheek. 

“I love you for who you are now. That’s the broken and the dark and the light.” He reaffirmed. 

“But what if I never want to have sex again? What if I can’t do that for you?” You whispered. The very thought of intercourse right now made you want to vomit for years. 

“Then I don’t want it. I don’t want sex if you don’t want it. I only ver want to be with you for the rest of my life, YN.” He continued and you sobbed, hands falling to your hands and shaking with grief and relief. You believed him— it was hard not to when he spoke to you like that or when he looked at you like that. 

“Do you want me to straighten out your feathers so they don’t dry wonky?” He asked and you felt yourself blush involuntarily. You wings flapped lightly and Bucky’s hair moved in their wind. 

“You’ll— you’ll stop if I ask you to?”

“Immediately. In a heartbeat.”

“Promise?” You asked. You’d been promised men would stop before— they never did. 

“Pinky swear.” He held out his pinky and you smiled softly, wrapping your own pinky around his. If Bucky Barnes followed any rule in the world it would be never breaking a pinky promise. He pulled your hand to his lips and they were warm and soft against your knuckles. His gaze made your cheeks flush pleasantly, and maybe, you would be okay one day. 

Pushing back the anxiety in your heart and chanting mantras of affirmations in your head that Bucky wouldn’t hurt you, that Bucky loved you, that Bucky would be here for some time you sat still as he crawled onto his knees on the bed behind you and began tugging your feathers gently. You fell into a half-dazed state— the feeling of someone you knew you could trust combing through the most sensitive part fo your body was something you truly missed. You missed the gentle intimacy that came with good men, and you were grateful you had managed to fall in love with the best one of them all. 

[laughing-with-god]

Pandemonium VII

Words; 4k

“Let them all say

Hey Lolita, hey

Hey Lolita, hey

I know what the boys want, I’m not gonna play”- Lana Del Rey, Lolita

It was quiet for a moment.

The only sounds being heard in the room was Jimin’s ragged breathing as the bleak sound echoed through the walls and came back to pierce your ears.

Everyone was currently staring at Taehyung, who just grinned with that rectangular smile as he bounced on the balls of his feet.  All too giddy with the attention he was getting.

Then, it erupted.  

If you had to guess what a demon sounded like, you’d think this was it.

A furious roar ripped through the room, the sound so thunderous and ear-aching that you couldn’t help but jump in your seat from shock.

“WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN MOTHER-IN-LAW?!  I TRUSTED YOU WHEN I SHOWED YOU THAT TEXT!”  Jimin had shot up from your grasp and lunged at his younger brother.

As you sat there, stunned while watching Taehyung and Jimin roll on the floor as Hoseok attempted to pry them apart with the help of Mr. Kim, it dawned upon you how Taehyung must’ve found out about your mother’s condition.  

Jimin.  

He must’ve stayed close enough to your ex sugar daddy in order to get information on you.  The shout from Jimin referencing the text just confirmed your suspicion, as within the ‘break-up’ text you sent Jimin, you mentioned your mom.  Jimin’s apparent feeling of betrayal caused you to shiver...did Taehyung really use his own brother to force himself into your life?

And although Jimin made little sense today, he did say one thing that you could agree on.

What the fuck did Taehyung mean when he called your mom his future mother-in-law?!

A wise scholar once said, “If a man does not have sauce, then he is lost.  But the same man can get lost in the sauce.”

You surveyed the scene around you.

Two brothers fighting before you, while two more brothers tried to tear them apart.  You looked to your side and saw Yoongi, Jungkook and Namjoon observing you carefully.  Yoongi focused on you while lazily rubbing the back of his neck. Namjoon just smirked and studied your expressions, way more enthralled by your reaction to said mayhem instead of the mayhem itself.  And Jungkook with a worried gaze as he nervously bit his lip. You shot a glare at them. Their lack of brotherly care made you slightly annoyed.

Shouldn’t they be more concerned with their siblings who were currently throwing hands?  Why the fuck did everyone enjoy putting you under a microscope?!

‘Yes’, you concluded to yourself.

Gucci Mane was right.  

It was all too possible for a man to get lost in the sauce.

In this particular scenario however, the sauce must’ve been male testosterone and crack cocaine.  

Only plausible explanation for the chaos that was ensuing before your eyes.  Or maybe their father’s sperm had a major defect where he was only able to father some shitheads with two functioning brain cells?

‘Shit head sperm’

Sounded very legit to you.

You released a very aggravated huff, and stood up to marched to the door.  

“Wait!  Y/n!”

“Y/n!”

“Don’t go!”  

You didn’t bother trying to decipher which three of the heirs called out to you given your back was turned to them.  You waved them off and sarcastically called out, “Mr. Kim, I’m going to have to pull my name from consideration. Thanks though.”  

And you slammed the door shut.  Almost right away you heard shuffling of feet and some more comments that were hard to make out through the mohagany door.  

You sped walked your way back to the waiting room, already hearing the sound of someone a couple yards behind you opening the conference room door to without a doubt, chase after you.  

The secretary lady became more clear in your line of vision the closer and closer you got to the front desk.  She looked confused, knowing that your interview couldn’t have been that short. You plastered a fake smile on your face and leaned over the desk when you finally got up to it.  

“Sis, I would call security to that room I was just in.  Some shit hit the fan.” You didn’t bother to stick around and witness her look of perplexion, running out of the building and hailing a taxi.  

--

Your search for a job continued, as did your unlucky streak.

The majority of places you applied for never called you back.  And the few that did, never asked to see you any further after the interview process.  

This bummed you out.  Since when did fast food chains and clothing stores become so picky about who to employ?  Becoming a stripper increasingly seemed more and more appealing to you.

It had been two weeks since the chaos of the conference room.  ‘The Conference Room Meltdown’ is what you nicknamed it in your head. Like some sort of legendary battle or historical tragedy.  Oddly enough, you felt rather numb after the whole ordeal. You couldn’t explain it, but for some reason, you found yourself not having any extreme reaction.  It’s almost like you were in shock. Like those soldiers who would witness some crazy shit, and then just go into a random sense of tranquility to calm down. It was as if your mind and body agreed that utter denial was the best way to cope with everything.  

Utter denial, indeed.  

You didn’t even share the crazy experience with Kat, thinking that to pretend it never happened was the best way to move on.  

You didn’t even allow yourself to think of the seven brothers, knowing that if you open that can of worms; you’ll end up with more questions than answers.

And your bruised heart, overworked brain and stressed out nervous system really did not need that.

However, there was one brother you couldn’t completely avoid.

Jungkook.

But before you can even come up with a plan on how to dodge him, it became apparent that ignoring him wasn’t going to be necessary.

He was ignoring you.  

For the first few days back to school, Jungkook was absent.  At first, you wondered if he dropped the class all together, but this was quickly ruled out when the professor approached

you and gave you the green-light to present the project by yourself because “Mr. Jungkook is quite ill and he won’t be back for a while.”

You were sort of relieved but also intrigued.

Was he giving you space?  Is he okay? Did something happen with his brothers?  

But you pushed this to the back of your head as you just focused on class.  Once again, you’ll never get answers so what’s the point of poking around?

However, one day you came into the classroom and saw the one and only muscle bunny already there.  

But...he was different.

On his face, you saw faded purple, blue and slightly green/yellowish bruises marking his usually porcelain skin.  Particularly, on the left side of his face was a stain of brutal violence that covered his eye and went down to the high points of his cheek.  His lip was also swollen and marked.

You gasped.  

He looked like he got into a huge fight and took some brutal hits.  

Jungkook wasn’t like that though...He may be big and addicted to protein powder but he was still a massive dork.  You didn’t believe that the same guy who showed off his iron man socks to you in effort to convince you that he wasn’t a fuck boy, would start any sort of physical dispute.  

And the only people who should’ve left that room with any marks, would be Jimin or Taehyung.  

As you recall, Jungkook was just worriedly watching from the sidelines.  

At the moment, Jungkook was at the professor’s desk, gathering some work that he most likely missed.  Jungkook was wearing a white shirt under a large blue denim jacket with black pants.

He turned around, probably sensing your shocked stare.

Eye contact was made.

But what happened next, made you want to be responsible for the next bruise that will cover his face.

His doe eyes scrutinized you for a while, then his plump lips pulled back in a scoff as a look of annoyance was thrown at you

With that done, he turned his back on you and then found a seat somewhere up front.  (Which was far from your guys’ normal spot in the back).

So he was ignoring you.  

You huffed and went to your usual spot.

Fuck him.

You didn’t like him in the first place.  

He was annoying.

And you definitely were not at all bothered at the latest development of him openly blowing you off.

Hell, you welcomed it.  

Now you had your spot all to yourself.  

He was probably in a hissy fit due to your affiliation with his brother.  Which was stupid because you just hung out with Jimin, nothing sexual was done.  Even more microscopic strings attached you to the other brothers. But a man’s pride was a very fragile thing.  And Jungkook was the youngest and barely out of his boyhood.

You spent the next few days in that class just glaring at the back of Kook’s head.  

It wasn’t your fault that all of his brothers were crackheads.  

--

Your life was quiet.

No sugar daddy to hang out with.

No run-ins with any odd men who demand to know more of you.  

No partner in class.  

Everything was just so….still.

One late afternoon, you were cleaning your dorm.  

Kat and you didn’t have a defined place anywhere on the cleanliness spectrum.  There wasn’t a ‘clean’ roommate or a ‘messy’ one. You both were very average with the dorm.  You two would clean up after yourselves, but neither of you would get on each others backs for a wrapper on the floor or a plate in the sink.

But, the place needed some deep cleaning, things that no measly “pick up around here” would cover.   Like wiping the windows, scrubbing down the bathroom, cleaning out the fridge ect. And you decided that cleaning was going to be a productive way to keep your mind off of things.

You’ve been doing that alot.  Trying to keep yourself busy so that your mind didn’t have time to wander.  

However, trouble always found you.  Even when you were going out of your way to be unproblematic and productive, it still attached itself to you.  Like a moth to a flame.

You really didn’t have a chance.  

It happened while you were scrubbing the bathtub.  

You were sweating, vigorously scouring the bottom of the tub while on your knees, when your music (that was playing from your phone) suddenly stopped.

A ring replaced your favorite song, as an incoming call vibrated your phone.  

You got up to see who was calling you.

A series of unfamiliar numbers is what you saw on your screen.

Usually, you wouldn’t answer an unknown number.  However, you phone number was out there now on many application and as far as you know, this could be a potential employer trying to contact you.  With a sigh, you answered the call.

“Hello?”  

‘“Y/n, why I didn’t think you’d answer...”  A deep voice purred on the other line.

Your brow scrunched up in confusion.  The voice sounded vaguely familiar but no nearly enough due to your inability to pin-point its’ owner.

“I’m sorry, whose this?”  

“The one and only, Taehyung.”

“Lol bye”

“WAIT!  I have an offer for you!” He injected before you could hang up.

“.......an offer?” You asked, stunned.  What the fuck was this? A mafia deal?

“Yes! Just hear me out.”  A pause ensued only to be followed by, “I paid for your mother’s bills after all.”

“I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO DO THAT YOU MANIAC!  YOU JUST DID IT YOURSELF! ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP USING THIS OVER ME?!”  You yelled into the phone, furious that he use your mom to get you to abide his wishes.  

“Calm down sweet thing, I didn’t have intentions of using it as a manipulation tactic.  I just think that my charitable act should be evidence that I’m not all bad and that you should at least hear me out.”  He rumbled, seemingly bored and unimpressed with your screaming.

You sighed but you couldn’t deny that your interest was peaked.  Although you knew virtually nothing about them, you knew enough of Taehyung to know that he was a very interesting character.  Part of you just wanted to hear this fucker out for the hell of it.

“Fine, what is this ‘offer’?”

“I would very much like it if we met in person.  I just want to take you out for dinner and apologise for what happened during your interview.  That was uncalled for and I’m afraid my brothers and I look looked little boys to you instead of grown men.”  

“Thanks for apologizing, but I’m good.”  

“I’ll give you 800 to show up.”  He bluntly responded.

“WHAT!”  You choked.

“Y/n, I might seem very airheaded but I know enough to connect the dots.  Jimin was your sugar daddy whom you met on a site. You must’ve put yourself in that position because of your lack of funds that my older brother was oh so willing to provide.  Also, the reason you were in that building in the first place was do to a job interview. Which means, after you cut Jimin off, you needed to get money somehow and this is why you began to look for a job.  Chances are you’re still jobless since it’s only been two weeks and it’s rather tough out there. So do yourself a favor, and go eat a free dinner with me to walk out with 800 dollars.”

“FINE!”  You exploded.  He was like an evil genius, explaining everything to you step by step before putting a nail to your coffin.  “I’ll go! Bring it in cash. But let me make myself clear Mr. Kim, we will have no drinks, appetizers and certainly NO DESSERTS!”  You hung up before you could hear that bastard speak again.

And like that, you were pulled in.  

But who could blame you?

You were just a stressed out, jobless and broke college student.

You were just trying to get by…

--

Taehyung had texted you the address of a restaurants along with a time and you were currently seated in the back of a taxi, heading over there.  

You wore some basic jeans and a rather simple long sleeved shirt, your hair down and very minimalist makeup on your face.  This choice of attire was an act of rebellion on your part.

You’ll be damned if you actually dressed up for that smug asshole.

You weren’t even shocked when you pulled up to a very fancy establishment, already expecting Taehyung to be extra as hell.  You thanked the driver and paid your fare before making your way into the place.

Right away, you felt underdressed.  

People were wearing nice clothes and the atmosphere screamed ‘rich people only’.  

Live classical music played, all the waiters wore nice uniforms, the rugs on the marble floor looked foreign with its’ complex patterns and what is a stereotypical five star restaurant without a snooty hostess?  

She stood before the entrance to the actual fine dining room, taking peoples reservations and calls at a podium.  A small line was already formed before her, so you joined it.

When it was your turn, she gave you a dirty look.  

“Are you lost?”  She asked while giving you an up and down look as you stepped up to her.  She was tall, wore a red wine dress, blonde hair sculpted in a elaborate bun while her face was painted in delicate makeup.  You gave her a fake grin.

“In many ways, yes.  But location wise, no.  Someone should already be here waiting for me.”  

She arched a perfectly plucked brow, probably mentally calling your bluff.

“Oh really?  And just what is their name?”  She asked, voice falsely chipper.

“Kim Taehyung.”  

Her eyes gave you one more doubtful look before skimming down at the list before her.  

With sick satisfaction, you smirked at her widened eyes.  

“Oh!  I’m truly sorry Mrs. Kim!  Your husband did mention you!  Please, right this way.” With a panicked haze, she began to lead you to a table towards the back of the dining room.  Your jaw dropped at ‘Mrs. Kim’ and ‘your husband’, Taehyung really loved a shock value, huh? He was weirdly obsessed with being your husband.  He even called your mom his future mother in law! You snickered at that thought. Like hell was that ever going to happen…. Nonetheless, you allowed yourself to be led to him.

And there he was,

Seated,

Grinning,

And surrounded by 6 other men at a round table.

--

The first thing you noticed were the bruises.

Almost each of them held some sort of mark.

Some had purple and black blemishes, while others carried angry red lines on their faces.  Apparently, Jungkook wasn’t the only one who walked away injured.

The seven brothers looked like they got out of a fucking battlefield.  

Currently, you were seated between Yoongi and Namjoon.  (Yoongi had a red line cutting diagonally across his left check while Namjoon had a somewhat healed cut on the right side of his upper forehead.)

Namjoon had pulled out the seat for you as Yoongi gave you a shy smile that came across as slightly guilty to you.

Since it was a round table, you could see everyone’s faces very clearly and each of them were staring at you intently.  You could cut the tension with a knife as if it was melting butter.

You fixed your attention at the artist.

You glared at Taehyung who was conveniently straight across from you.

“I don’t enjoy being set up, Taehyung.”

“Baby, trust me with this one.  We’re gonna give you an offer you can’t refuse.”  He grinned at you. Tae’s bottom lip was very swollen and bruised and he had a shiner under his right eye.  

“Well, you better spit it out because I’m not staying for food anymore.  Also, telling the front lady that I’m your wife isn’t cute.”

“You told them WHAT?!”  Jimin screeched, facing the grinning artist.  You noted with a frown that Jimin’s left eye was all bruised and blue.  

“Jimin, remember what we said about controlling your emotions.”  Seokjin’s calming voice erupted. His beautiful, model worthy face held a faded bruise in his v-shaped jaw.  

At this reminder, Jimin snapped his mouth shut but didn’t cease his pouting.  

“Okay, can we talk about the elephant in the room?”  At the sound of your question, seven pairs of eyes turned to you.  “Why are you all beat up?”

An awkward silence laid itself on the table as you watched the brothers share worried glances.

“Y/n, we came to a very rough and difficult conclusion.”  Hoseok answered. You turned to him and rose a brow, waiting for more.  “We all want you in our lives.”

“At first, we were selfish and thought we could have you on our own.”  Seokjin continued.

“But, after you left us that day, we all got into a really big fight on who could have you.”  Jimin’s raspy but high voice informed you.

Next was Yoongi, “After almost killing each other, we agreed that we ought to find a better way to keep you without such bloodshed.”

“And we also want to help you with anything you might ever need or want.”  Jungkook added.

“So, Y/n….”  Namjoon purred.

Tae said the last part while smirking at you with his glimmering pharaoh eyes;

“Will you be our sugar baby?”  

--

“Ummm….how would that even work?”  You asked after a solid six minutes of just befuddled silence.  You didn’t even believe what was happening right now. It felt like a lucid dream you couldn’t get out of.  

“Simple.  We each will have our own time with you and you get an allowance from all seven of us.”  Namjoon explained in his deep voice.

“I don’t wanna be a glorified prostitute.”  You grumbled.

Yoongi heard this and laughed, gummy smile making an infamous appearance.  “Y/n, we don’t want sex from you. Just hanging out with you and getting to know you is good enough.”  

“How would you guys determine who hangs out with me and when?”  You asked.

“Well, we all have our own jobs to do.  When some of us aren’t busy, we’ll ask you out.  But ultimately, you get to choose who you want to see on day-to-day.”  Hoseok explained.

“Allowance?”  You asked.

“All seven of us agreed that one grand per person every week is good.  So you can expect seven grand every Friday.” Seokjin explained.

You choked.  

7,000 every week?!  

HELL YEAH YO-

You cut yourself off before finishing that thought.

This was too good to be true.  

“Are there any rules you want me to follow?”  You hoarsely asked, dreading the catch that was sure to come.  

“To be honest, we haven’t thought that far ahead.  But if you agree, we’ll draft up some and send it to a group chat that way we’re all clear.” Tae answered.

You bit your lip as you began to ponder the pros and cons to doing this.  7,000 a week would pay off your college tuition in no time. You’d be a fool to not take advantage of such a good deal.  And they just want you to hang out with them! No fucking required! But wait, in your haste to capture this bread, you forgot a major problem.

“I have a problem with two of you guys right now.”  You said, recalling your beef. All seven looked up in worry.

“Who?”   Yoongi asked.

“Well, Jimin still attacked my roommate and Jungkook has been a total ass wipe recently so I’m not so hot about them, if I’m being honest.”  

Said boys shot up in their seats to interject, but Namjoon waved them off.  

“Y/n, please forgive Jungkook for any childish behavior.  He’s had a few temper tantrums ever since we mentioned this idea.  He’s just very clingy with you and has had a lot of trouble accepting this plan.  He probably distanced himself from you in effort to control himself from snatching you up for himself.”  You looked at Jungkook for search of the truth but by the way Kook was blushing and avoiding eye-contact, you knew Namjoon’s words were true.  

“As for Jimin….”  Namjoon continued.  “We’re very sorry about your roommate.  Jimin explained it to us and we can agree that his actions were uncalled for, however no physical altercation occurred.  He was just terrified of never seeing you again and being so emotional, he showed up to your dorm. All his screaming and crying must’ve scared Kat but trust me, Jimin would never put his hands on a woman.”  

You dissected everything Namjoon had said.  Was it possible that Kat was just shaken up?  She did say he mainly did some hollering and crying.  Kat had no evidence of bruising or handprints and technically even in her own story, Jimin didn’t lay his hands on her so much as he just threatened her. She said he was frantic and anxious, and that he forcefully backed her into a corner…..but did Jimin ever lay his hands on her?

Your sweet, bubba, teddy bear who wasn’t that tall and had chubby cheeks along with a squeaky voice?  

“Baby, do I look like the type to attack anyone?”  Jimin asked, puppy eyes all teary.

“I don’t know, you did it with your brother.”  You retorted.

Jimin rolled his eyes.  “That’s different, he’s my brother and brothers fight.”  Jimin pouted at you.

“Fine, just don’t be a meth head next time.”

Jimin grinned at the term ‘next time’ but asked, “Meth head?  I thought I was crackhead?”

He recalled your nickname rather fondly.

You shook your head,  “Sorry, but you’ve upgraded your status.  At the rate your going at, it might even be bath salts next week.”  

And thus, you had 7 sugar daddies.  

{Authors note; oml so what do you think?  this was kinda a filler chapter to transition us to the next stage of the story that’s gonna be 0t7 and like really intense.  I haven’t been answering any asks lately bc I was at a friends house but i’m going to hammer them out now so send in news ones and they'll be done really fast.  ALSO I HOPE YOUR THRIVING GUYS HAPPY NEW YEARS 2K19 LMAO}

[memescomicswriting]

Brooklyn Baby

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Clint x Reader

Warnings: Age gap, lots of potty language, and implied sexy times

Summary: Your boyfriend is in a classic band. You work at a hot club in The City. Is your love enough to overcome his securities?

Masterlist

A/N: Clint’s in his early forties here. I don’t pay attention to cannon age Based off “Brooklyn Baby” by Lana Del Rey

--

The night was old but the bar ragged on. You didn't mind working as a bartender. The place was named SHEILD, after some old inside joke, and it was a nice club. You made good money from your boss, Tony. He was a generous man and insisted on paying the girls more for all the shit you had to put up with from drunk men. With tips from the high traffic flow of rich idiots and eager tourists, you lived comfortably. Some regulars were being taken care of by Wanda down at the other end of the bar. Regulars were people Tony deemed 'not the biggest asshole' that frequented enough to hold a VIP card. That left you with the drifters on the opposite side. This wasn't the only bar in the place and it wasn't the most central bar either. Your bar was on the open, inward-facing loft that looked over the stage and dance floor. Due to the acoustics, the music was awesome up there but not too loud because the speakers sat below you.

At first, your customers were genuine fans of music, but soon they shuffled out and the 'biggest asshole' type sauntered in. They didn't bother you much. They were too busy trying to impress their dates or the people they picked up bellow. When their guests became less enthusiastic they began to grumble about how they should've gone to club Hydra. You almost told them to go there, but you didn't think it was worth the confrontation.

Tony originally bought the club to relive the glory days of his band, the Avengers. It was comprised of his friends: Steve, the Captain; Natasha, Black Widow; Thor, Point Break; Bruce, Hulk; and Clint, Hawkeye. Tony, or Iron Man as he liked to be called, took it upon himself to give some of the staff and club friends nicknames too. Wanda was the Scarlett Witch for her red lipstick and wit. Her brother Pietro was named QuickSilver for his silver hair and his ability to move around the club quickly. You were girlfriend, but the name had no inappropriate connotation. It had everything to do with who you started dating after you began to work there. The Avengers played earlier in the night. Now the DJ controlled the stage and created mixes of their top hits. The place was decorated commemorating the band. The music was a little before your time, but your older siblings often blared the radios in their rooms with Avenger music. You knew most of the songs by heart at this point. Like your siblings' rooms, commemorative posters were all over. Each bar was themed with a band member. Tony's was the largest, central bar- go figure. Yours, in the loft above, was for Hawkeye. You didn't mind that at all. Your boyfriend was the lead guitarist in his band. You often found yourself singing along while he played at home. Usually, it was whoever inspired him. You liked it when he played Lou Reed. He liked to play things from the seventies because he was a seventies baby even if it were '79. A lot of his friends, outside his band, didn't understand what he got from being with you. Someone your age couldn't understand the time he came from or his taste in music. He was a free spirit and you tied him down by simply existing. You'd zoned out in thought of your boyfriend. God, was he so cool and attractive, and oh how you loved him. The growing calls brought you back to the present. "Yo, bar babe!" A thick and sweaty hand waved in front of you. You quickly repressed the disgust on your face. "Yes?" You asked in the nicest tone you could muster, which was decent. "Thanks for sparring some attention to your customers." The guy snickered. He was tall enough, built enough. His face a bit intimidating; enough to the point you decided lunging across the bar at him wasn't the best idea. "Another round of Bud Light pitchers." They already reeked of alcohol but they weren't exhibiting signs of needing to be cut off. "Sure." You quickly went on to get their order just to be away from them. When you came back with the fresh pitchers the guests with them turned up their noses at the drink. You couldn't blame them. Light beer was gross, to begin with, and mass quantities of Bud Light were the cheapest way to get drunk at a bar like yours. As the group of men called it, 'the pieces of ass' walked off, no longer wanting anything to do with them. It was a mix of pretty young girls and guys. They could do better anyway. Soon, they all began arguing about who was to blame for their guests leaving. The one who asked for the pitchers quickly became the center of the argument. Another member of the group, younger and somehow more greasy looking, sauntered up to you. "Yo Rumlow, get back here!" He was called back to the table but refused to return. "Hell nah, not with you hens clucking. I'm not wasting my time on your squawking, I'm going home with someone tonight." With that, he turned to you with the slimiest smile. 'Oh fuck no!.' Was all you thought while your eyes rolled. "Awe, now don't be like that baby." He crooned. "No." You replied shortly. He leaned over the bar. "Come on, I could treat you real good baby." You snorted at how dumb he sounded. "No." He didn't like that. His tone began to slip from icky charm to agitation. "What, you got a boyfriend? You're not a baby, you're a taken bi-" The call of your name interrupted your fist from flying into the guy's face. "Y/N!" It was the cheerful voice you never tired of hearing. Clint briskly walked up to the counter and leaned over for a quick peck. "Tony said he'd have Happy rope off the bar for the night so you could head home early." The Rumlow guy erupted in a vicious chuckle. "You gotta be kidding me baby. You're too young and cool for this washed-up loser. Do yourself a favor and leave with me." You saw Clint's jaw grind while the rest of his body stiffened. The nearly twenty-year age gap was a sore spot for him. No matter how many times you reassured him, told him you loved him age gap and all, he still felt insecure about it. Something in the back of his mind crept upon him from time to time, telling him he was too old to keep you happy. He feared you'd leave him one day. The New Yorker in you, specifically the Brooklyn in you, began rising from the depths of your personality. "Oh fuck off you mother fucking loser, My boyfriend is cooler than you'll ever fucking be. Get out of my bar you piece of shit." The man slammed his hands down on the bar but you didn't flinch a muscle. You were wound that tight. "The fuck did you just say to me you bitch." You slowed your words and annunciated for the dumbass. "Get out of my bar, you mother fucking asshole before I knock your ass on the ground." "Oh, your gonna pay for that you little slu-" Before he could finish his insult his ass was knocked on the ground, but not by you. Clint was hovering over him delivering punch after punch. Soon, the guy's goons were rushing over to get their boy. Clint was immersed in a mosh pit of jerkoffs, but it didn't phase him a bit. Despite their efforts to restrain him long enough to get a punch in, Clint was shrugging them off and delivering more grounding blows. When the original douche was up again and itching for a hit, Clint used the guy's own momentum to throw him behind and straight to securities feet. Coulson, and the rest of the bouncers he brought made quick work of collecting the rest of the goon squad. Soon they disappeared down the steps towards the entrance. They'd probably pass hands from club security to the usual cops stationed outside. Clint was a heaving, disheveled, and sweat smeared mess. And god was it hot! When he finally dragged his stare off the vanishing morons and onto you, his body started to relax. He looked down at himself and huffed out a sigh. "I'm sorry babe, but when I heard that name slip from his mouth with him leering at you like that, I saw red." You let out a good giggle. He was confused at first but accepted it when you hopped on the bar counter with a clean cloth to wipe down his body. "Don't apologize. That was fucking hot!" You poked his chest with seriousness. "Only thing that bothers me is that I didn't get to hit 'em." Clint's head tipped back as he roared with laughter. "You would be upset about that." He allowed you to continue cleaning him up until you were nearly done. He grabbed your wrists and held them to his chest. "But in all seriousness, you don't mind your senior boyfriend punching a jerk's lights out for yah?" His head cocked to the side as he studied your face for any hint of disgust. "Mind?" You scoffed. With his hands still on yours, you directed him to grasp your hips. "I'm turned on!" Before you could say more, Clint was between your legs and you were firmly ground into the counter. Your lips were locked in a searing kiss. Clint put a lot of pressure into this one. Teeth clashed and your lips swelled. His tongue slipped through your gasps to dominate every inch of your mouth. You had no air so when he pulled away you were gasping. You hiccuped as you tried to speak. From the grin plastered ear to ear, he enjoyed that. "And you're not a senior. You're barely forty and for barely forty I want to jump your bones every second of the day. So invest in some arthritis medicine for when you are old." Clint lifted you off the bar and plopped you on the ground, still pressed against him. "So I'm cool, huh?" You swatted his arm playfully. "Really?! That's what you took away from this?" "That, and you're horny." He nodded, being a little shit with his fake, nonchalant attitude. "Mhm..." You rolled your eyes with no subtlety. Then you pushed him off so you could get your purse from behind the bar. As you leaned over the wooden counter, you made sure your ass was in full show for your boyfriend. If Tony was letting you leave early then Wanda would be left to do your side of the bar; which was a mess thanks to those assholes. You left most of your tips for her as a thank you. "You're not as cool as me." You shouted to Clint, who was following behind you, still fixated on your rear. A satisfied smirk formed on your lips. "Damn straight!" He cheered. "Now let's go home so you can show me how cool you think I am. My Brooklyn Baby." Clint squeezed your sides which caused you to squeak. Again, you playfully hit him like you were annoyed. It was damn well clear that you were anything but annoyed with him. You were frustrated but in the best way. He was gonna get it when you got home or any place private enough.

[u-flower-u-feast]

♡TAG CHAIN♡

i was tagged by @harry-did-that  who constantly challenges me with the toughest questions and scenarios lol!!! Thanks honey!!💖💖💖💖 

im tagging @harryzayn​, @heliosfleur​, @haesthete​, @luvinari​, @anotherblackharrie​, and anyone else who wants to (i just finished this and im exhausted and can’t think of anyone else lol!!)

Rules: answer the questions given to you by the tagger, write questions of your own, and tag people!

🌸The questions I was given🌸

1. when and how did you become a fan? give me all the details and feelings hit me with that nostalgia! Tbh I was one of those snooty hoes who hated wmyb and was like “If they’re saying what makes you beautiful is that you don’t know your beautiful....... Then what happens when you finally think you’re beautiful??? They probably wouldn’t think your beautiful anymore” laskjdlkajslkdja!! But after faking like I hated the song, this girl in my science class came up to me and was like *Slams down some random teen mag with the boys on the cover* “Pick one!!”......... And I was like “Uhhhhh..... No thanks??” and she just kept getting on my nerves about picking one, she eventually said if i picked one that she’d leave. So I looked............. and I said *pointing to harry and zayn* “Either him or him” and she had the nerve to be like “No!!! You cant have him (Zayn) he’s mine!”........ me:

and since that moment of childish, superficial, decision-making........ I’ve been a dead hoe 4 harry.

2. whats ur fave 1d moment/memory? I’m blanking all of a sudden alksjdlakjslkdj!!! All I can think of rn is when harry almost died on 1d day tryna pull that cute ass stunt

Pretty much..... 1d day in general laksjdlkajls!!!

(Me too harry lol) Harry looked so divine??? So yeah lol!! 1d day for sure

3. if you were to fight harry how would you go about it

Sis........... I’ve been dreaming about this. In a perfect scenario, we’d be friends already so he knows that i’m fighting him with love from the deepest, darkest, coldest, crevices of my heart. So, it’d have to be a time when we’re just hanging out somewhere, preferably in someones (preferably mine) apartment/house. We’d be watching queer eye or something gay, and discussing what from this seasons gucci line we’re gonna buy. When all of a sudden i’ll go in for a random, friendly hug, and he’ll accept...............................................................To his DEMISE!!! CAUSE I would bite his ear (not off, just to clarify lol!! Just a nip lol!!) and go straight for his neck and choke him out alskdjlksjldjka!! He’d probably start panicking, but at this point i’d tell him how long i’ve been waiting to do this, and that i’m doing this out of love............ nothing but pure love. So when he blacks out and wakes up laid out on the couch, with me placing a cold ice pack on his head, he’ll probably ask me what tf happened....... So i’ll tell him the truth, and tell him that he fainted and started convulsing and that i had to call 911 (or whatever the emergency # is wherever we are) and they told me what to do over the phone; and that by the time they got there he had settled down and was fine, but i needed to apply a cold press to his head where he fell and make sure he has solid food on his stomach.😇😇😇

4. so like, if we had 1d (ot4/ot5 idc) locked in a room and given them truth serum slkdnlksdnf sorry for this au but, what 3 questions would you ask them (feel free to do more than 3 its been almost 8 years full of lies so)

I’ll give you one for each year of lies aksljdlakjslkd!!

1- What the fuck were Zayn and Harry laughing about on 1d day?

2- What is each of their honest opinions on the others??

3- Crystabel Riley....... Thats all I’ll say on that..... But I want the truth lol!!

4- Why tf Zayn had the nerve to say that he and Harry never talked???

5- The Infinity video????

6- If they hadn’t known Zayn was gonna leave, who would they truly want to leave the band????? Or! If they could sacrifice one of the others for Zayn to stay, who would they sacrifice??????

7- Did Liam really think that Japan would be hotter cause its “near Australia”??????? (a waste of a question, but a question i need to ask for myself lol!!)

8- And because i’m nosy and would never ever ask any other time or under other circumstances; Out of all of the people they’ve been rumored to have been dating/dated, how many have they actually dated? and which ones??*Mainly this is for harry, but i’ll ask the others cause...... you know.....

5. tell me some of your fave people on here (treat ppl with kindness spread love n all that look at me being a proper Harrie™)

I have a couple of faves lol! I love @harryzayn she’s amaaaazingggggggg even tho she tries me on a daily basis alskjdlkajsldkj!! Oh!! And her moodboards (x) are spectacular, she’s legit the reason why I started doing moodboards (barely lol!! I’m lazy y’all, but she's not lol!!)

@haesthete She always has amazing hontent and is very sweet and kindddddd lol!! And is always (in my opinion) on the right side of henny serious harry drama

@luvinari is an absolute angel who blesses my dash with harry and ariana and others i can think of rn lol!! 

@bluehydrangeia She fills my dash with my mother lana del rey, harry, and aesthetic!! That and I never fail to get more literature knowledge from her lol!

Theres a lot more, but when I’m put on the spot i blank out lol!! If we’ve EVER talked, or interacted you’re probably on this list too lol!!

6. signature scent/ favorite perfume(s)?

I don’t really have a signature perfume, but I like to mix cherry and vanilla body sprays lol!! That! Or warm vanilla honey/toasted hazelnut from b&bw  

7. please tell me a random fact or story about you, give me that Exclusive knowledge

Ummmmm....... My *tries to remember while sitting down* right side of my hip is double jointed lol!! That and i entered 2 different kinds of writing contest and won both of them lol!! Ya gurl is actually good at writing believe it or not alskjdlakjs!!! Bonus! I’ve actually gotten too deep in my feels a couple times and wrote fics for @harryzayn to read lmaooo!!!

8. money, body issues, and all that shit aside, what would your dream fashion aesthetic be?

..........Rianne you hate me lol!! I have about 50 aslkdjalskjdl!! So I’ll give you a top 5!

1- Rocker Chic

2- Simplistic Minimalist

3- 70s Kween

4- Eclectic Bitch

5- Rich Business Hoe

(Bonus!)6- Flashy young rich trophy wife having a night out

9. would you rather have: the cut bits of carpool karaoke like the mcdonalds drive through, audio’s of all the 70 songs harry wrote (yes including baby honey), the infinity music video, the 900 hours of unseen this is us footage, harry’s dunkirk audition tape, a recording of that alleged hour long zarry phonecall when zayn left, or a copy of nialls folder full of unseen selfies with his boys. you kno what im nice you can have two

You are so fucking rude rianne alskjdlkajsjdalj!! I’m gonna go with...... All 70 of harry’s hidden ass songs. And............. *has mini existential crisis cause i can’t choose between the zarry phone call or the this is us footage* I’m gonna choose the this is us footage cause that would be a lot more positive *whispers: but if you want to be a super nice, cool, amazing, totally unique, game changing, never replicated friend........ You’d let me take the zarry call too lol!! *

10. whats something you’re proud of?

*Thinks hard for about 20 minutes.....* Umm I think im proud of the fact that, any musical instrument i’ve learned (3-4) i’ve taught myself??

11. something you regret?

Being too nice to people who didn’t deserve that from me.

12. what bothers you? here’s a chance to… go off

People who have literally no musical talent, but feel the need to go on mile long rants about musicians/artist they don’t like and try to simplify any musical or artistic process like making (GOOD) music is simple and easy.

On the other hand, musicians with absolutely no musicianship at all, who get by based on looks or a really weirdly strong fan base despite....their....lack........of talent??? (Bonus trash points if they’re also just really shitty people in general)

People who feel the need to bring up negative shit in the middle of anything happy. Like??? We could all be having a party over harry painting his nails black, and they could be like “Why tf is his nail polish chipped already??? He was probably picking at it cause the devil jeff made him do it” Like????? Shut tf up cindy (Also this is a made up scenario lol!!)

...... Pms?? The thought of having to pay bills?? Taxes??? The government???? The patriarchy??????

💖💕✨🌻 so here’s my questions🌻✨💕💖

1. There are two types of people in this world. What are the two types?

2. If you had to lock away 3 of ot5 in an underground cave, who would you lock away??

3. If you could have a never-ending candle that smelled like anything you wanted, what fragrance would you want it to be?

4. An interesting au question i just though of lol! You’re chilling at home, when all of a sudden you get a call from Harry. You answer it only to find out that he has you on a party line with the other boys. They’re all panicking cause they’re having different emergencies and they all need your singular help, but they’re all in different locations 20 minutes away from you. They’re all convinced you’re their best friend and that you’ll help them first. You can only help 3 and the other two have to figure their problem out on their own, or face the consequences. Who do you help first, and so on? (and yes the bottom 3 will be mad at you. The person in 2nd place will be disappointed but they’ll eventually get over it.)

5. Whats your favorite *insert ur fave 1d member here* look?

6. What would be the scariest monster you could imagine?

8. If your life was a book, what would it be titled?

6. Quick! You just won the lottery, what are the first 3 things you buy?

9. Would you rather have: True love, but live in less than ideal conditions. Or Be rich, but be married to someone you despised?

10. Whats something you’re proud of?

11. Three personality traits you hate?

12. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?

[weheartjik00k]

JIKOOK RANT part 1: how from hating shipping I ended up suspecting Jikook.Things that convinced me.

If you don’t ship them DON’T READ!!!If you are confused whether they are dating or not this is what I THINK.I will analyze facts and moments, but thoughts about them are not a statement.Don't take this as 100% truth. I am not being disrespectful towards any ships or other people's opinions.I just want to express mine.(I love the relationship all BTS members have among each other.It's pure and beautiful.) I used to hate shipping and shippers.I used to listen to BTS but dislike them, that was me.It only proves how people can change(for the better ;) ) If someone asked me back then.why do you hate shipping amoung kpop idols I'd go like; "They are REAL people.Not fictional characters".And yes they are, but there I go. present self: If they are REAL people, why do you use them for fanfictions?Why do you read fanfictions with them?Why do you read smuts?You don't like people to force their opinions or fantasies on them but practically you do the same. old self:*silence*

Yep!I can diss myself the best way.But why do I do it?Because I know I was wrong for hating on shippers.I tell you this to show you that I was not and I'm still not someone who ships real people.(the only couple in kpop I ship is jikook and I'll explain later on this)

My sis is lgbt and she is married to this amazing girl and they are living happily together.I knew about them ever since I was like 11 years old.So, I am really opened to gay relationships.I feel very protective of gay people.I feel the urge to fight for their rights, even tho I am not part of this community.

The first boy gay couple I shipped was Isak and Even from SCAM.I just loved them so much.However, it was just a movie (series actually) that I watched with such joy and their moments were my favorite.I was a little bit confused how can I like girlxgirl or boyxboy couple and support them so much.I was wondering if this made me gay.But no!It made me open-minded.

Now about kpop skinship and shipping.

I know that in the kpop industry fanservice is the most popular thing.They are used to create those ships’ moments and attract even more fans.The skinship they have seems romantic in many other countries, but for a fact, it is not in KOREA.(or at least not always) Being touchy and cuddly with other members or even other idols from other groups is normal for kpop artists and Koreans.It usually doesn't mean anything beyond friendship.And I am used to seeing such touches because where I live this is also taken as a joke or it's just normal.Even boys are touchy(not like in Korea, but more than commonly)

Now I will talk how most ships are created.

I've noticed that the most 'powerful' ships are the most popular two idols in a group being shipped together.Why?People like to see people they admire together.It's like if you stan Shawn Mendez and Justin Bieber and you see them posting a selca.And you're like: " OMG!So cute...they are friends!"(this is just an example,idk if it's happened before lmao xd)

So most ships in kpop are the two most popular idols or the closest ones.(I am not saying your ship is fake or they are not close)And most of them do photoshoots together and do fanservice, but this doesn't mean it's meaningless for them.It's just the way kpop is.Idols know it, too.

So far, you know I was for a long time against shipping and wasn't ARMY or anything.(i am exo-l and even tho I voted for bts on MAMA I am still afraid to call myself army because I myself feel like it's gonna seem fake how I got interested in BTS after getting to know Jikook more.I don't wanna be a fake fan or smth)

Considering the way I thought, starting to ship Jikook is a big deal.Or at least for me.First, I watched some Vmin au edits and I got addicted because the videos were so good.Then I acknowledged BTS's MVs from 2017(i knew their previous music) and the theories.Then again I watched BTS au edits and somehow I came across this video called ‘Jimin belongs to V.Moments’ I didn't think much and clicked on it.I loved their moments.But never thought of it as something romantic.It screamed BEST BESTIES EVER to me.(Vminers, don't come at me; I have a soft spot for Vmin and Tae; I love their interactions )

Then I saw the caption ‘Jimin belongs to Jungkook’ *i rolled my eyes(for real)* -the very first Jikook video.I was a bit, just slightly bothered by their way of acting around each other.But I told myself;

"Um...no.I don't ship them.First, every ship has its moments.Second, Jungkook looks hella straight.(Jimin too, but sometimes he is just a mochi)Third, there is no way they are dating or something.Just some fans being delusional."

Then I watched Vminkook au edits and somehow ended up checking out more and more Jikook moments.I checked Vmin, some Yoonmin, and Vkook and then again went back to Jikook. I watched the 2017 summer package (the unicorn guys! it got me here xd...not really, tho)

I was like...it's just a fanservice, no fucking way there is something between them.And the more I watched their moments, there was this thing about them.Like...ugh!I couldn't explain it.Then in one month, I found out all the 'proof' I needed.

I've always been a realist so I knew some shared or stolen glances, some hugs or some holding hands and laughing together didn't mean anything.

Then I saw kookmin world(of course).Some facts that made me believe,but not be sure.

(this pic is not mine;i just googled analysis about it since i know about this and i wanted to show you)

Basically, after Jimin posted a video of him filming his face and smiling, after a while, JK posted a screenshot of this song(ILYSB-Lani).What's interesting is that Jungkook didn't play the song and only screenshot the lyrics.And I noticed this sentence - And you need to know, that I'm hella obsessed with your face. Coincidence?

reminder: JK himself said I quote: "Whenever I do a cover, I always check the content of the lyrics before I record it!Please look up the meaning of the lyrics and then listen again.It would sound different...!"-twitter update

So I think that he also checked the lyrics before posting this because

1)he is an idol and must be always careful.

Would you post a song in...japanesse, for example, if you don't have a single clue what the song is about?

2)

once RM asked him in an interview where does he get inspiration from for making music and he said:

"While translating lyrics"

On 28 may 2016,JM posted a video again of him laying down on his bed with the caption : “Laying down” Then JK posted a cover of IU’s song called Knee and recorded only this part

 the lyrics:

If I lie down on your knee Brush my hair Like when I was young If I fall asleep lightly from your nice touch Just let me stay for a moment Don’t wake me up, I’m going to sleep tight If I fall asleep lightly from your nice touch Just let me stay for a moment 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcYfHPiCVGE (the cover)

There are many others things they did on Twitter, but I don’t want to dig even deeper into this.(as if this is not already the longest rant ever)

Another moment that made me and still makes me believe in Jikook.Like...there is not any kind of explanation about this.

THE OSAKA VLIVE.(most of you have watched it, but..)

The thing that proves is that while Tae is waiting calmly in front of JK's room’s door

(find the analysis where the sound is cleared or turn up the sound on your computer or cell phone when watching the Vlive) we can clearly hear Jungkook calling Jimin's name.

And this got me shook.I was JUNGSHOOK,world shook and SHOOK AF.

Just the whole awkwardness, I was like..wut.And after TaeTae left the room, someone opened his door and scolded him and the voice was apparently Jimin's since it was fucking similar to his voice.Like...how can you confuse his angelic voice(and raspy sometimes *smirk*)

If you were still doubting that back then JM was the one hiding in JK's room or he was the one scolding Tae---I am prepared :) xD In the next Vlive (EatJin) JM was supposed to do it with Tae because it was Taehyung’s Vlive(something like EatJin but with different theme) and Jimin was legitly mad at Taehyung( for Tae).He was smiling devilishly and stuff and tried to prevent Tae from participating in the Vlive.Then JK appeared and after a while also Jin joined and JM still showed that he was pissed off with Tae for some reason(even tho he was smiling all the time) and even said that JK scolded poor boy during their practice.MY OPINION NOT FACT: So it makes sense if Jm was mad at him because he almost exposed jikook on this vlive(he actually gave us many hints, yeah..)and on the next day he wanted to get it back on him.

So my quoestion is:Why would Jimin and Jungkook hide if they share a room?There was only one bed and JM already had his own room.So he just visited JK's room?Why wouldn't they show? Ah.I know why.Because JK was naked, they were playing Lana Del Rey's song 'Body electric' and yeah.

Now Jungkook calling Jimin baby.

You know, I call ALL of my friends like this.And no, we are not dating.But guess what!Just like skinship is so normal in Korea, it's the other way around when it comes to polite speaking.Of course, BTS's member have lived together for too long and probably most of them are comfortable, but still, we talk about politeness on daily bases here.It's something natural.And what else we know is that Jungkook likes to skip the polite speech when it comes to Jimin.

However, the word 'baby' itself is disturbing if a younger boy uses it with his bro, bandmate or whatever kind of friendship they have.No matter how close they are, baby strictly indicates a romantic relationship.Many k-armys (or so I read in lots of posts about this moment) have freaked out when they heard JK calling JM 'baby'.Before actually seeing and hearing it with my own..head? xd, I thought it could be a joke.But none of them laughed or reacted to it.It was like something normal that Jimin, Jungkook and also Taehyung were used to.No one stopped, looking with a bursting smile or something.It was NOT A JOKE.It was a 'nickname', but a very weird one if they are just bros.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vomf-B4VqE

GCF IN TOKYO

This is the biggest thing, yet the one I will talk least.So let's take some notes down.

MY OPINION:

It's obvious how Jungkook worked on every little detail.It's proven because when the lyrics of the song are about the road-he showed the road.When it's about the beats-he showed how the traffic light beats in the same rhythm as the song.

As we already know, this boy always looks up the lyrics, so he probably knew it's a gay song.Also, it's Troye Sivan's song and it's a fact that Jungkook is a fanboy of him. Another thing-what he showed us is 75% Jimin being a happy, little mochi.

Some people (antis or whoever) say that all this trip to Japan is BH's advertising, but FOR ME and many other people(and I think it is quite obvious bruh) it's not.

If they wanted to make it like a "Date with JImin au" for the fans, if it was for advertising JK wouldn't show himself at all.But we can see how the first shot is him and Jimin in a bathroom and JK leans closer to the camera as if we could see through his eyes afterward.And this is how he sees Jimin. And most of all, the song.The lyrics.-"Boy, I'm holding onto something,won't let off you for nothing".This video (for me) is the most emotional way of JK expressing his feelings.(something he was never good at)

This is it so far.But only part one.Wait for part two guys, cause I have so much more to say about Jikook.Those are one of the things that made me believe in them.In the next part, I will include also some pretty obvious moments and why Jikook is different and why.And much other stuff.Thank you for reading this long ass rant, but don’t expect the next one to be any shorter.

(around 2300 words)

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 29th September 2019

Revie Wing the chart s

Top 10

For a fifth consecutive week, we have Ed Sheeran taking the top spot with “Take Me Back to London” featuring Stormzy and remixed by Sir Spyro, Aitch and Jaykae. It’s not a bad song but I feel only lack of competition is keeping this at the top. If the #1 wasn’t a spoiler, nothing really happened this week, it wasn’t very busy and we have like two new arrivals so apologies if this is short.

Aitch reaches the runner-up spot once again with “Taste (Make it Shake)”, up one spot this week, and to be honest I’m doubting this song’s #1 potential but time will tell.

“Higher Love” by Kygo and the late Whitney Houston is also up one spot to number-three this week.

Up one space as well this week is AJ Tracey at number-four with the surprisingly long-running hit “Ladbroke Grove”.

Arguably the biggest story here is the new Top 10 entry, “Ride It” by Regard, becoming Regard’s first ever top 10 and top five hit in the UK as it is up six positions to number-five. It’s also Jay Sean’s first top 10 hit since 2010’s wonderfully dated “2012 (It Ain’t the End)” with Nicki Minaj, and first top five since the magical “Down” featuring Lil Wayne hit #3 in 2009. It’s his fifth Top 10 and third top five overall.

Sorry by joel corry is at #6 again it has been at #6 for like 70 weeks who cares

Our second new top 10 entry is by Tones and I with the underwhelming and honestly pretty uninteresting “Dance Monkey”, up seven to #7, but regardless it’s Tones and I’s first ever UK Top 10 hit and that’s a pretty cool feat in the first place. I can see this reaching even further heights though, even if I’m not a fan of the song.

Unfortunately down a spot and seemingly on its way out from now on is Dominic Fike with “3 Nights” at number-eight.

Also down a singular position from last week is “Circles” by Post Malone at number-nine.

Finally, not moving from last week yet still rounding off the top 10 is “Strike a Pose” by Young T & Bugsey and Aitch.

Climbers

Like I said when talking about “Take Me Back to London”, this isn’t a particularly exciting week, but we do have a few notable enough climbers and fallers to talk about. Our first climber is “Professor X” by Dave from Drake’s Top Boy soundtrack off of the debut, moving up five spaces to #19, becoming his ninth top 20 hit on the chart, but I doubt it’ll go any further as it really is nothing special especially compared to pretty much everything else he’s made. Also increasing off of the debut is “Wiley Flow” by Stormzy, up a whopping 15 spots to #22 despite being similarly disappointing. In fact, all of our notable climbers here are hip-hop, as “Lalala” by Y2K and bbno$ is also up eight spaces to #32, a new peak for the track, and that’s all we have.

Fallers

If we had a teaspoon full of climbers... we have a teaspoon full of fallers – there is the exact same amount of songs for each section. The most notable drop is indisputably the fall for Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey’s “Don’t Call Me Angel”, flopping 10 spaces from its debut at #2, now at #12, which I expected to be the case but I honestly don’t see this having a comeback or rebound anytime soon even if I like the song quite a lot. Other notable drops here include the hilariously incompetent “Nookie” by D-Block Europe featuring Lil Baby down 12 spaces off of the debut to #28, which is especially embarrassing as this was attached to an album that was released this last week. Finally, Stormzy’s odd choice of releasing a single barely more than a week after the last means “Sounds of the Skeng” has its promo push put to the side for “Wiley Flow”, as the former song si down nine spaces to #40, barely clinging onto the chart.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The dumb UK chart rule about how one artist must have only three of their highest-performing songs charting at a time strikes again on the same album that it struck last week, but not with a back-and-forth replacement like as with Lewis Capaldi a couple weeks back instead. No, here, “Take What You Want” by Post Malone featuring Travis Scott and Ozzy Osbourne dropped out and was replaced with “Sunflower” with Swae Lee... from the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse soundtrack, meaning a great song got replaced with another great song, albeit here it’s a co-lead song from a soundtrack with various artists, so this UK chart rule really shows how nonsensical it is briefly here. Otherwise, we have three drop-outs to accommodate for the new and returning arrivals here: “Mad Love” by Mabel dropping out from #21 thanks to what I can only assume are streaming cuts after peaking lower (At #8) than I thought it would – although that isn’t the last we see of Mabel this week, “Castles” by Freya Ridings seemingly also suffering streaming cuts with its abrupt drop from #29 and “Ritual” by Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Rita Ora dropping from #36 because nobody really cared about the song there anyway. Returning entries in the Top 40 are twofold and not just “Sunflower”, with “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy also making a shock return to #39. I don’t know why and to be transparent I don’t really care (By Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber) so let’s get onto the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#37 – “God is a Dancer” – Tiesto and Mabel

Produced by Tiesto and Josh Wilkinson – Peaked at #15 in Scotland

Tiesto exists. You’ve known Tiesto as he’s been here for quite a while at this point, and if you don’t know the name, you know a Tiesto song. He did one with Post Malone last year called “Jackie Chan”, and he got married just a few weeks ago on September 23rd to Annika Backes in the Utah Desert, that was a headline. Oh, and he’s also knighted! That’s something I didn’t expect. Mabel, you should also know, she’s Neneh Cherry’s daughter and an impressive pop singer in her own right. They’ve got a new house-pop single together as you’d expect, and it’s Tiesto’s 14th UK Top 40 hit, as well as Mabel’s seventh... and it’s listenable. Personally, Mabel’s vocals are way too Auto-Tuned here as she is a naturally talented singer and I don’t feel like the distortion adds anything here other than making an already obviously inorganic song even more robotic. The thudding kick drum placed with the cute synth bass that I actually quite like and cheap fake finger-snaps sound pretty disjointed despite there being some genuine groove in the production, and it’s mostly wasted potential, hurt by the non-existent lyrics but honestly it’s probably for the best that it’s a dance song, even if her “ay” inflections are pretty annoying. The background vocals in the final chorus sound pretty great but they’re drowned out by the monotonous beat and honestly, all two minutes and 48 seconds go into one ear and right into the other, until the noticeably abrupt outro. This could be better but it has nothing worth speaking about as it is – the bassline is good so maybe add some more bombastic synths over it and get Mabel to belt or at least enunciate. As for now, though, I don’t think I’ll be exchanging my rhythm for God when it comes to dancers in the foreseeable future. Sorry.

#23 – “Good as Hell” – Lizzo

Produced by Ricky Reed – Peaked at #41 in the US and #12 in Scotland

Now, this song isn’t all that great by any means and far from my favourite from Lizzo, but it is miles ahead of whatever “God is a Dancer” was, although to be fair, the two new arrivals aren’t really comparable as Tiesto and Mabel try for a funky dance-pop club hit while this is a no-holds-barred R&B and soul anthem with feisty vocals from Lizzo. This song is actually from her first major-label release, the overlooked EP Coconut Oil which featured a lot of great R&B tracks, including production from a guy called Christian Rich, whose prolific credits now seem like he is a pop songwriter creating songs for female pop stars but at the time he was producing most of the beats on Earl Sweatshirt’s Doris, which seems like a stark contrast of mood, although this song, originally recorded and released in 2016, just a year before her biggest US hit, “Truth Hurts”, was produced by her main man Ricky Reed. This track is her third UK Top 40 hit after “Juice” and “Truth Hurts”, and I’m not surprised to see that its #23 debut makes it her highest-charting song ever in the UK and I can see this taking off. It’s already being used in several advertisements so that’s got to only be a good thing. Speaking of good things, this song is pretty excellent. That piano riff sounds vintage and crisp, with bouncy 808s backing Lizzo’s sassy sing-rapping as a perfect build-up, especially in that great pre-chorus, before the bombastic release of horns and the powerhouse of a vocalist that Lizzo is throughout the entire track, as well as a choir of... several multi-tracked Lizzos from what I can tell. It isn’t as clunky lyrically or compositionally as “Truth Hurts” yet has a similar mixing issue, as it does feel a tad less dynamic than it could be, as with much of Ricky Reed productions, which usually suffer from over-compression (This one in particular feels like the last vocal track is cut short at the outro, meaning it has a really abrupt and momentum-killing outro that just sounds jarring, especially as the crisp static effect continues afterwards), but nothing is blatantly clipping here so it’s not that much of a problem. Even with everything I have to say about it, I do prefer “Juice”, “Tempo” with Missy Elliott and even deep cuts from Cuz I Love You like “Crybaby” and even “Exactly How I Feel” featuring Gucci Mane – seriously, check that one out, it’s great. Regardless, this is a pretty good song and I’m glad it debuted so high.

Conclusion

This should be evident. Lizzo takes Best of the Week home with “God as Hell”, while Mabel and Tiesto take Worst of the Week with “Good is a Dancer”, which isn’t precisely bad per se, but it just really could have been much better and less generic. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week.

[thisisnotacomp]

Best Albums of 2019

I didn’t listen to nearly as many albums in 2019 as I have in previous years. If I was to guess I listed to 50% less this year. It was due to many factors but number one by far was the birth of my son. Number 2 would be an increase in podcast and number 3 would be an uptick on streaming mixes. I say that to explain why I only am including a top 15 follow by 10 albums I liked over the year. I didn’t listen to many of the albums listed in the various top 10/50 albums of the year list published by different publications. Hopefully this list will add variety to what was an interesting year in music. 

Before I jump in, I wanted to provide my take on albums in 2019. The biggest change was the almost complete lack of consensus. Other than ‘Norman Fucking Rockwell’ by Lana Del Rey there was no clear best release. And while it is getting a ton of top spots, I think that is less about the album and more about the state of music. There wasn’t a clear best LP. There are a handful of good to great albums but no obvious classic released in the year. If I had to guess, a few of the good to great albums will bubble up over the coming years and be seen as classics but none of them were crowned this year. I also see that the more mainstream lists share a lot of the same albums that the less mainstream publications do. This trend has been happening for years but the convergence this year is more than ever. Examples of this are Billie Eilish, Lizzo & Ariana Grande showing up next to FKA twigs, Tyler, The Creator & Big Thief on both sides. Finally, the sound of popular music is changing and the album format seems to be less of a factor. I think this is the impact of streaming services and the shelf life of albums going way down. Anyway it was an interesting year overall, lots of new artists. Hopefully 2020 will bring some obvious classics. On to the list:

01. Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Bandana  - 5 years after the release of ‘Piñata’ Mad-Gibbs do it again. Start to finish the album is great. Exactly what anyone who likes these 2 artists was hoping to hear. If you like hip-hop you like this album. Highlights include: Palmolive, Crime Pays and Fake Names. 

02. Fontaines D.C. - Dogel  - ‘Dogel’ felt like the 2019 version of ‘Joy as an Act of Resistance’ by Idles. While they are very different albums, they feel linked in a way. I wish I would have seen their joint tour earlier this year. Fantastic LP. Highlights: Boys In The Better Land, Big & Sha Sha Sha

03. The Comet Is Coming - Trust in the Lifeforce of the Deep Mystery  - The first time I heard the 2nd track ‘Birth of Creation’ from this release I was blown away. The rest of the album plays out in a similar fashion. This album made me search out more Jazz and I went on a deep dive into all sorts of new jazz acts. After that I dove deep into Hard-Bop, Post Bop and didn’t come out for a few months. This album changed the course of what I listened to in 2019 and I am very thankful for that. 

04. Tourist - Everyday  - Unfortunately I didn't come across a ton of great Electronic LP’s this year. There were plenty of good releases but they seemed to be for the lack of a better word technical. Everyday on the other hand is solid start to finish and I found myself coming back to it quite often. 

05. 2 Chainz - Rap Or Go To The League  - It is amazing how consistent 2 Chainz has been. 5 albums since 2012. 4 are great, the other one, ColleGrove is still good. The dude just knows how to make hits and combines them into cohesive albums.  06. Ty Segall - Deforming Lobes  - Ty had another great year but when you compare it to the last few, none of the studio albums felt great. His live album on the other hand is amazing. This is a nice collection of Segall’s output up until this point. I would put it in my list of top 5 Ty albums every fan should own. 

07. Black Taffy - Elder Mantis  - Elder Mantis didn’t get much if any attention this year which is too bad. If you want to hear something a bit different track it down. Great beats start to finish. 

08. The Chemical Brothers - No Geography  - The Chemical Brothers released some of their best tracks in recent memory on No Geography. Got To Keep On, Eve Of Destruction and the title track are amazing tracks. And then there is We’ve Got To Try. Love that track. It sounds like something that they could have released 20 years ago. Amazing they can keep there sound so fresh after all of these years.

09. Aldous Harding - Designer  - Sweet chill tunes that have depth. I don’t listen to as much of this sort of music these days but Designer is a different animal. Like this a lot. 

10. Aesop Rock & Tobacco - Malibu Ken  - I honestly thought this release would get a ton more attention in 2019. In my eyes it is the most under hyped LP of the year. Classic Aesop lyrics of amazing beats from Tobacco. Aesop brings it on Acid King and Tuesday. While it doesn’t match the highs from Labor Days or Float its not far off. Dudes still got it, which can’t be said for most of the best underground lyricists from the late 90′s early 2000′s. 

11. Theon Cross - Fyah  - Another great brass jazz release came early in the year. If you liked Sons of Kemet’s Your Queen Is a Reptile track this down. 

12. MIKE - Tears of Joy  - It was nice to see MIKE get a bit of press this year. He is carrying the torch of the 2000′s underground rap sound. Rap as moved to a much more mainstream sound but MIKE doesnt care. He just keeps releasing solid music year after year. 

13. Ikebe Shakedown - Kings Left Behind  - If you like Budos Band check this LP out. While nothing here is mindblowing its solid start to finish. 

14. Tyler, the Creator - IGOR  - IGOR is the classic rap LP of 2019. While I liked other releases this year more, none had as much going on as it did. Tyler is on a different planet. 

15. slowthai - Nothing Great About Britain  - If anyone was to ask me to sum up 2019 in one album it would be Nothing Great About Britain. It captured the feel of the year better than anything else. 

Other albums I enjoyed

Dave - Psychodrama DaBaby - Baby on Baby & Kirt Sarah Davachi - Pale Bloom Bill Callahan - Shepherd in a Sheepskin Vest Little Simz - GREY Area Prins Thomas - Ambitions Emotional Oranges - The Juice Vol. 1 The Fat White Family - Serfs Up! Benny The Butcher - The Plugs I Met

[dizzydjc]

Music of the Month: August 2017

Another month has flown by, and now we are waving goodbye to the summer of 2017. What a summer it has been though, especially in terms of music.

Without further ado, let’s take a look at the Top 10 most played Artists of August 2017:

ARTISTS

Last month’s most played artist was of course, Kesha, with a total of 376 plays in one month! That’s a huge amount of plays for one artist. I have loved her comeback album “Rainbow” and I have also been playing a load of tracks from her back catalogue, just because the hype is real! I love her and I am so glad that she is doing really well after all of the personal struggles she has gone through in the last 5 years.

This month’s artists are pretty much (with the exception of Steps sort of) girl power through and through, with all of the artists predominantly being women. You could even argue that Steps has female lead singers, so there you go. There have been some fantastic songs released from these women over the last month and I have been playing many different tracks from the back catalogues of Avril Lavigne, Shania Twain and Madonna as well. I have been updating my music video collection in my music library this month which explains the hint of nostalgia there.

Plus, how great is it to have Martine McCutcheon releasing music again, a whole 14 years since her last album. I was a big fan of hers as a kid, and I am so excited to be seeing her perform live later in the year, a dream come true!

ALBUMS

So Kesha’s “Rainbow” album has unsurprisingly made it to #1 last month, what a fantastic LP it is. I urge you all to go and check it out now if you can, it’s a great personal yet universal record and is packed full of hits. A fantastic comeback album. After the storm comes a rainbow.

Elsewhere in my Top 10, there isn’t much in the way of change to last month. Dua Lipa’s self-titled album is still in there, as is Lana Del Rey’s fourth opus, Steps have gone back into the Top 10 and Katy Perry is still holding strong with her latest album. The new albums come from Coldplay, who released their “Kaleidoscope EP” in July, packed full of hits, Beth Ditto’s “Fake Sugar” and two as yet unreleased albums from P!nk and Shania Twain. P!nk’s “Beautiful Trauma” album is released in October but there isn’t long to wait until the well-anticipated album from Shania Twain is out, it’s at the end of this month! Don’t forget to read my latest Curated blog, dedicated to the life and works (in music) from Ms. Twain, she truly deserves a fantastic comeback, hopefully in the same vein as Kesha.

Lastly, if you read my Flix of the Month blogs you will know that I am obsessed with the TV Show “Game of Thrones”, and now this is spilling over into my music tastes too. There has been some fantastic music and scores used in the series, all composed by the legendary Ramin Djawadi, and it’s no surprise that the collection of works from the show is also in my Top 10 albums. I am obsessed with the song “Light of the Seven”, used in the finale to the show’s Season 6, where Cersei blows up the Sept of Baelor. Absolutely fantastic, the song gives me shivers!

TRACKS

So here is the most exciting part of the blog, it’s been a close one but here is the Top 10 most played tracks of August 2017. Y’all ready for this?

#10 CLARE MAGUIRE – ELIZABETH TAYLOR

 Clare Maguire had a total of 59 plays last month. I have mostly been listening to the Mulholland version of the track, which sounds great in the summer.

#9 KESHA – PRAYING

Another month in the Top 10 for Kesha with this song, it had a total of 63 plays last month. A fantastic comeback song!

#8 ZEDD – GET LOW

Another song that has lingered into another month in the Top 10. I can’t get enough of this track, it sounds amazing turned up loud in the car! It had a total of 64 plays last month.

#7 SHANIA TWAIN – LIFE’S ABOUT TO GET GOOD

There seems to be a link here, another song that hasn’t dropped out of the Top 10 this month. I am so excited to hear her brand new album. Don’t forget (to check) out the new Shania Twain blog!! Yes, that punctuation is in honour of her song titles throughout the years. This song had 68 plays last month.

#6 STEPS – NEON BLUE

The return of Steps just keeps going, this is their third single from their new LP (released in April) and I can’t get enough of it. I heard it on the dance floor the other night and it goes to show what a great uplifting track this is. 69 plays last month.

#5 DUA LIPA – NEW RULES

The formidable force of Dua Lipa doesn’t stop, and now I am addicted to this latest single from her debut LP. It is such an anthem and I wouldn’t be surprised if this lingers into next month’s Top 10 also. The track had 73 plays last month.

#4 STOCKHOLM NOIR – HOPELESS DREAMS

This mysterious act who helm from Sweden is trolling everybody. They have a fantastic array of songs out, but nobody knows who is behind them. This is the only video I could find of this song on YouTube, but take a listen as it will be a treat for your ears. Brilliant. 74 plays last month.

#3 ANASTACIA – CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

Another comeback single, this time from the legendary Anastacia. She also has a new album out this month, and I am so excited to hear it in full. This song had a total of 75 plays last month.

#2 P!NK – WHAT ABOUT US

With a total of 93 plays last month (that’s incredible on any other given month), she didn’t quite reach the top spot but I am addicted to this song. The video may be politically charged, but it’s a great comeback and it has made me excited to hear her brand new album, out in October.

#1 COLDPLAY – MIRACLES (SOMEONE SPECIAL)

The most played track last month is this song from Coldplay (featuring Big Sean), it’s weirdly addictive and catchy and it notched up the plays last month, a total of 99 in fact. What an incredible amount of plays in such a short amount of time. Will it be in my Top 10 of the year though?

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading about the music that has inspired me in the past month.

Filed under: MOTM (Music of the Month), Music Tagged: ANASTACIA, August 2017, avril lavigne, BETH DITTO, CLARE MAGUIRE, coldplay, Dua Lipa, Katy Perry, Kesha, Lana Del Rey, loreen, Madonna, MARTINE MCCUTCHEON, music of the month, P!NK, RAMIN DJAWADI, Shania Twain, Steps, Stockholm Noir, Zedd from WordPress http://ift.tt/2eqh5Rk via IFTTT

[dizzydjc]

Another month has flown by, and now we are waving goodbye to the summer of 2017. What a summer it has been though, especially in terms of music.

Without further ado, let’s take a look at the Top 10 most played Artists of August 2017:

ARTISTS

Last month’s most played artist was of course, Kesha, with a total of 376 plays in one month! That’s a huge amount of plays for one artist. I have loved her comeback album “Rainbow” and I have also been playing a load of tracks from her back catalogue, just because the hype is real! I love her and I am so glad that she is doing really well after all of the personal struggles she has gone through in the last 5 years.

This month’s artists are pretty much (with the exception of Steps sort of) girl power through and through, with all of the artists predominantly being women. You could even argue that Steps has female lead singers, so there you go. There have been some fantastic songs released from these women over the last month and I have been playing many different tracks from the back catalogues of Avril Lavigne, Shania Twain and Madonna as well. I have been updating my music video collection in my music library this month which explains the hint of nostalgia there.

Plus, how great is it to have Martine McCutcheon releasing music again, a whole 14 years since her last album. I was a big fan of hers as a kid, and I am so excited to be seeing her perform live later in the year, a dream come true!

ALBUMS

#4 Kesha – Rainbow – 90 plays

#6 Lana Del Rey – Lust For Life – 82 plays

#2 Dua Lipa – Dua Lipa – 111 plays

#2 Steps – Tears On The Dancefloor – 105 plays

#1 Katy Perry – Witness – 122 plays

So Kesha’s “Rainbow” album has unsurprisingly made it to #1 last month, what a fantastic LP it is. I urge you all to go and check it out now if you can, it’s a great personal yet universal record and is packed full of hits. A fantastic comeback album. After the storm comes a rainbow.

Elsewhere in my Top 10, there isn’t much in the way of change to last month. Dua Lipa’s self-titled album is still in there, as is Lana Del Rey’s fourth opus, Steps have gone back into the Top 10 and Katy Perry is still holding strong with her latest album. The new albums come from Coldplay, who released their “Kaleidoscope EP” in July, packed full of hits, Beth Ditto’s “Fake Sugar” and two as yet unreleased albums from P!nk and Shania Twain. P!nk’s “Beautiful Trauma” album is released in October but there isn’t long to wait until the well-anticipated album from Shania Twain is out, it’s at the end of this month! Don’t forget to read my latest Curated blog, dedicated to the life and works (in music) from Ms. Twain, she truly deserves a fantastic comeback, hopefully in the same vein as Kesha.

Lastly, if you read my Flix of the Month blogs you will know that I am obsessed with the TV Show “Game of Thrones”, and now this is spilling over into my music tastes too. There has been some fantastic music and scores used in the series, all composed by the legendary Ramin Djawadi, and it’s no surprise that the collection of works from the show is also in my Top 10 albums. I am obsessed with the song “Light of the Seven”, used in the finale to the show’s Season 6, where Cersei blows up the Sept of Baelor. Absolutely fantastic, the song gives me shivers!

TRACKS

So here is the most exciting part of the blog, it’s been a close one but here is the Top 10 most played tracks of August 2017. Y’all ready for this?

#10 CLARE MAGUIRE – ELIZABETH TAYLOR

 Clare Maguire had a total of 59 plays last month. I have mostly been listening to the Mulholland version of the track, which sounds great in the summer.

#9 KESHA – PRAYING

Another month in the Top 10 for Kesha with this song, it had a total of 63 plays last month. A fantastic comeback song!

#8 ZEDD – GET LOW

Another song that has lingered into another month in the Top 10. I can’t get enough of this track, it sounds amazing turned up loud in the car! It had a total of 64 plays last month.

#7 SHANIA TWAIN – LIFE’S ABOUT TO GET GOOD

There seems to be a link here, another song that hasn’t dropped out of the Top 10 this month. I am so excited to hear her brand new album. Don’t forget (to check) out the new Shania Twain blog!! Yes, that punctuation is in honour of her song titles throughout the years. This song had 68 plays last month.

#6 STEPS – NEON BLUE

The return of Steps just keeps going, this is their third single from their new LP (released in April) and I can’t get enough of it. I heard it on the dance floor the other night and it goes to show what a great uplifting track this is. 69 plays last month.

#5 DUA LIPA – NEW RULES

The formidable force of Dua Lipa doesn’t stop, and now I am addicted to this latest single from her debut LP. It is such an anthem and I wouldn’t be surprised if this lingers into next month’s Top 10 also. The track had 73 plays last month.

#4 STOCKHOLM NOIR – HOPELESS DREAMS

This mysterious act who helm from Sweden is trolling everybody. They have a fantastic array of songs out, but nobody knows who is behind them. This is the only video I could find of this song on YouTube, but take a listen as it will be a treat for your ears. Brilliant. 74 plays last month.

#3 ANASTACIA – CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

Another comeback single, this time from the legendary Anastacia. She also has a new album out this month, and I am so excited to hear it in full. This song had a total of 75 plays last month.

#2 P!NK – WHAT ABOUT US

With a total of 93 plays last month (that’s incredible on any other given month), she didn’t quite reach the top spot but I am addicted to this song. The video may be politically charged, but it’s a great comeback and it has made me excited to hear her brand new album, out in October.

#1 COLDPLAY – MIRACLES (SOMEONE SPECIAL)

The most played track last month is this song from Coldplay (featuring Big Sean), it’s weirdly addictive and catchy and it notched up the plays last month, a total of 99 in fact. What an incredible amount of plays in such a short amount of time. Will it be in my Top 10 of the year though?

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading about the music that has inspired me in the past month.

Music of the Month: August 2017 Another month has flown by, and now we are waving goodbye to the summer of 2017. What a summer it has been though, especially in terms of music.