#bucky barnes angst

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Yall I have a Bucky fic called “idontwannabeyouanymore”

It’s the saddest fic I’ve ever written in my life, should I post it😅👀

[the-winter-spider]

Invisible | Part 14

Pairings: Bucky x Reader AU

Word Count: 8.8k 👀

Warnings: ANGST, Mentions of brief virg!nty loss

A/N: I was gonna make this 2 parts cuz its long but it just didnt flow nice soooo your welcome 🫶🏻

Summer before senior year

“You’re not going with him!” Bucky said, standing in front of you with his arms crossed, his tone more commanding than concerned.

You frowned, crossing your arms in defiance. “You don’t get to decide that.”

“He’s no good for you,” Bucky shot back, his voice rising. “Mike doesn’t care about anything but himself.”

“Oh, and you’re suddenly the expert on who’s good for me?” you snapped, frustration bubbling over. “I’ve known Mike as long as you have, Bucky. He’s not that bad.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched, his blue eyes blazing with an intensity that made your heart race for all the wrong reasons. “Trust me, he’s bad enough. And you’re not going.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do!” you yelled, stepping closer to him. “I’m not a child, and you’re not the boss of me!”

“I’m trying to protect you!” Bucky shouted back, his voice breaking slightly with desperation. “Fine, go! But don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart, because he will. He only wants one thing.”

You glared at him, the words stinging more than you wanted to admit. “Yeah? And what’s that?”

Bucky scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “Your virginity,” he said, his voice bitter. “That’s all he cares about.”

You froze, his words hitting like a slap. “And how would you know if I’m a virgin, Bucky?” you spat, your voice trembling with anger. “Maybe I’m ready to lose it. Maybe I’m tired of being the only one who hasn’t.”

Bucky’s expression darkened, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Oh, so now you’re in a rush to keep up with everyone else? What, just because I lost mine, you suddenly want to lose yours?”

The silence that followed was deafening. Your breath caught in your throat as his words settled. “You… you lost yours?” you asked quietly, your anger briefly replaced by shock.

Bucky’s defensive posture faltered, and he exhaled deeply, his annoyance still evident. “Yeah,” he muttered, avoiding your eyes. “With Carley.”

Your heart sank, a strange mix of emotions washing over you. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Bucky shrugged, his frustration still simmering beneath the surface. “Because you’re not one of the guys. I didn’t think it mattered.”

You nodded slowly, feeling a lump form in your throat. “Noted,” you said curtly, turning on your heel and walking away before the tears could fall.

Bucky called after you, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t.

"Don't come crying to me, i mean it!"

The date with Mike started fine. He picked you up in his car, flashing his usual charming grin. But as he drove you to the cliffside—a spot where half the school went to make out or hook up—your mind kept replaying the fight with Bucky. His words echoed in your head, cutting deeper with each repetition.

Mike was sweet enough, but his intentions were clear. When he leaned in to kiss you, you let him. His hands roamed, his kisses became more insistent, and when he whispered, “Are you sure?” you barely hesitated.

“Yeah,” you murmured, the numbness creeping in as you tried to push all thoughts of Bucky out of your mind.

The act itself was quick, mechanical. It didn’t feel like the magical, life-changing moment you’d once fantasized about—especially not the one where Bucky was somehow involved, as stupid and childish as that fantasy had been. Instead, it was awkward and empty.

When it was over, Mike leaned back, pulling his clothes on casually. “You good?” he asked, his tone light but distant.

You nodded, forcing a tight smile. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Mike stretched, glancing at his watch. “Do you want a ride home?”

You shook your head, staring out at the horizon where the first hints of dawn were starting to creep in. “No, I think I’ll stay here for a bit.”

Mike didn’t argue. “Alright. See you around,” he said with a grin, getting into his car and driving off without a second glance.

As his taillights disappeared, the weight of what you’d just done hit you. You pulled your knees to your chest, the tears you’d been holding back finally spilling over. You stayed there, alone on the cliffside, as the sun began to rise, crying for everything you’d lost and everything that could never be.

You cried for the stupid fantasy you’d had, for the connection you and Bucky had once shared, and for the gaping hole that now seemed impossible to fill.

You sat on the edge of the cliff, the cold morning air biting at your skin as the sun’s first light painted the horizon in soft pinks and oranges. Your tears had finally stopped, but the hollow ache in your chest remained, a constant reminder of the choices you’d made and the moment you couldn’t take back.

You pulled out your phone, your fingers trembling as you scrolled through your contacts. Bucky’s name was right there, familiar and taunting. Your thumb hovered over it for a moment, but then you shook your head, blinking away the fresh sting of tears.

You couldn’t call Bucky—not after everything. Not after the fight, not after what he’d said, not after tonight.

Instead, your thumb slid down to another name.

Steve.

Your heart pounded as you pressed the call button. The line rang twice before his voice came through, groggy but instantly alert.

“Hello? Y/N?” Steve’s voice softened, concern lacing every word. “Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

Hearing his voice felt like a lifeline, and for a moment, all the emotions you’d been holding in threatened to spill over again. You took a shaky breath, willing yourself to stay calm. “Steve… can you come get me?” you asked, your voice small and broken. “I’m at the cliff.”

There was a brief pause, then the sound of rustling sheets as Steve sat up. “Yeah, of course. Stay put, alright? I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, the weight of his words wrapping around you like a blanket.

Fifteen minutes later, the familiar rumble of Steve’s car pulled you from your daze. He parked and quickly got out, his worried eyes finding you immediately. His hair was messy, and he was still in sweatpants and a hoodie, clearly having rushed out of bed to get to you.

“Y/N…” he said softly, walking over to where you sat. Without another word, he shrugged off his hoodie and draped it over your shoulders, kneeling down in front of you. “What happened?”

You shook your head, biting your lip as fresh tears threatened to fall. “I… I messed up, Stevie.”

He reached out, gently placing a hand on your knee. “Talk to me.”

You hesitated, the words caught in your throat. But Steve’s patient, steady gaze gave you the courage to speak. “I… I was with Mike tonight....last night i guess now"

Steve’s jaw tensed slightly, but he didn’t interrupt.

“And… and I let him… we…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say the words, but the way Steve’s eyes softened told you he understood.

“Oh, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice filled with quiet sympathy. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head, wiping at your eyes. “It was supposed to mean something,” you whispered. “But it didn’t. It didn’t mean anything. I just… I just wanted to feel like everyone else for once. Like I wasn’t being left behind.”

Steve’s grip on your knee tightened slightly, his brows drawing together. “You’re not being left behind. You don’t need to rush into anything just because other people are.”

You let out a shaky laugh, bitter and self-deprecating. “Too late for that now.”

Steve sighed, shifting to sit beside you on the edge of the cliff. His arm draped around your shoulders, pulling you close. “You’re not defined by one moment, Y/N,” he said quietly. “It doesn’t change who you are or what you’re worth. You’re still you, and you’re still amazing.”

You leaned into him, the warmth of his body grounding you as the cool breeze swept past.

Friday Morning

You were running late, your thoughts a tangled mess as you walked briskly toward work. The looming reality of tonight’s bar meet-up gnawed at your nerves. Dean meeting your friends, meeting Bucky—it felt like a line you weren’t ready to cross, even though you knew you had to eventually.

Your phone buzzed against your ear as Natasha’s voice filled the silence, grounding you slightly. “Are you even listening to me?” she asked, her tone bordering on impatient.

You muttered a distracted, “Yeah, sorry,” as you pushed open the door to your favorite coffee shop. The familiar smell of roasted beans and baked goods hit you, but it did little to calm the storm in your chest. You glanced at the line, groaning softly when you saw how long it was.

Natasha sighed on the other end of the line. “Something about coffee, right? Let me guess, you’re about to be late again.”

“Yeah, the line’s too long,” you grumbled, stepping to the side to avoid blocking the doorway. “I’ll just skip it.”

Before she could reply, your eyes landed on someone by the counter, waiting for his drink. He was wearing a fitted black jacket over a plain white tee, his hair a little messy, like he’d just rolled out of bed. Bucky.

He must have felt your gaze because, in that moment, he turned. His blue eyes locked onto yours, and everything else—the bustling café, the noise, even Natasha’s voice in your ear—faded into the background.

You both froze, caught in a stare that felt like it lasted far too long and not long enough. His expression shifted, something soft flickering in his eyes before he masked it with a neutral look.

“Hello? Y/N? Are you even there?” Natasha’s voice snapped you back to reality.

You blinked, your heart pounding as you quickly looked away. “Sorry, Nat. Yeah, I’m here,” you said, forcing your voice to sound normal. “I was just… distracted.”

Natasha groaned on the other end. “Look, relax about tonight, okay? Everyone’s going to love Dean because we all love you. And Wanda’s super excited to meet him, so you’ve got her vote.”

You swallowed, your eyes flickering back toward Bucky. He was picking up his drink, his jaw tense, but he hadn’t looked away from you. You could feel the weight of his gaze even as you tried to focus on Natasha’s words.

“Yeah, okay,” you murmured, not really sure if you were trying to convince her or yourself.

Natasha exhaled, her tone softening. “I mean it, babe. Stop overthinking. You’ve got this, alright? I’ll even send coffee to your office so you’re not a grumpy mess when Dean picks you up later.”

A small smile tugged at your lips despite everything. “Thanks, Nat.”

“Anytime, babe,” she said, her voice warm. “Now, go crush your day. I’ll see you tonight.”

You ended the call, slipping your phone back into your pocket. Bucky was still there, sipping his coffee, his eyes lingering on you like he was waiting for you to say something.

But you didn’t. Instead, you turned and walked out of the café, the knot in your stomach tightening. The truth was, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, tonight wasn’t just about Dean meeting your friends.

It was about seeing Bucky again—about facing whatever was still left unsaid between you.

The hours ticked by painfully slow. You’d spent the morning buried in paperwork, but your mind was far from focused. Every time you tried to concentrate, your thoughts drifted to tonight—Dean, your friends, and most of all, Bucky.

By lunchtime, you were more than ready for a break. You pulled out your phone and opened the group chat with Wanda and Natasha.

Natasha: How’s work?

You: Dragging. Can’t believe it’s only lunchtime.

Wanda: That bad, huh?

You: Yeah, but at least I have tonight to look forward to… right?

Natasha: Exactly! You’ve got this, babe. Everyone’s gonna love Dean.

Wanda: Especially after we interrogate him, obviously.

You couldn’t help but laugh, your shoulders relaxing slightly.

You: Please be gentle. He’s nice, I promise.

Natasha: Nice doesn’t cut it. He’s gotta be great if he’s dating you ;)

Wanda: Agreed!!! <3But don’t worry, we’ll be on our best behavior. Sort of....

You rolled your eyes and switched over to your chat with Sam and Steve.

You: How’s the day going for you guys?

Sam: Busy as hell. Just got out of a meeting and I’m already over it.

Steve: Same here. But at least it’s Friday.

You: True. You both coming tonight, right?

Sam: Wouldn’t miss it. Ive been thinking about hot wings all damn day.

Steve: Of course. Wouldn’t want to miss meeting Dean…

You paused for a moment, then typed:

You: Thanks, guys. I know it’s weird with everything going on, but I appreciate it.

Sam: Hey, we’re family. No matter what, we’ve got your back.

Steve: Exactly. You’re stuck with us :)

The warm reassurance from your friends eased some of the anxiety that had been building all morning. You set your phone down, took a deep breath, and tried to refocus on your work.

But even as you typed away at your computer, your mind kept circling back to one thing: how tonight would change everything.

You were about to set your phone down when a familiar name caught your eye in the messages list: Bucky.

Your heart stopped. Beside his name, a small gray bubble appeared, the telltale sign that he was typing.

You stared at the screen, your breath hitching. He was going to say something. Maybe something important. Maybe—finally.

The bubble lingered for a moment, and you held your breath, waiting. But then, as quickly as it appeared, it vanished.

No message.

Your heart stuttered, a sharp pang in your chest as you watched the screen, hoping the bubble would return. But it didn’t.

You blinked, trying to shake the feeling. Why now? Why would he start typing and not send anything? You bit your lip, your mind racing. Was he going to apologize? Say something about tonight? Or was it just another reminder of the messy, tangled connection between you two?

You let out a shaky breath, locking your phone and setting it down on your desk. But the damage was done. The small flicker of hope—unwelcome but undeniable—had lodged itself firmly in your chest, refusing to be ignored.

Even when you forced yourself to get back to work, your mind kept drifting to that empty chat bubble.

The end of the workday couldn’t have come fast enough. By the time you got home, Natasha and Wanda were already at your apartment, rifling through your closet and chattering like old times. It was grounding in a way—familiar, comforting, a temporary balm for your nerves.

“Okay,” Wanda said, holding up a soft cream sweater. “This. It’s casual but still shows you put in effort.”

Natasha nodded in agreement. “Pair it with those high-waisted jeans and your ankle boots. Perfect mix of cozy and hot.”

You raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Cozy and hot? Is that what we’re going for?”

“Yes,” Natasha said firmly. “You’re seeing Dean, but you’re also seeing Bucky for the first time since… everything. You want to feel confident.”

You sighed, letting them guide you. Once you were dressed, Wanda pulled out a simple necklace while Natasha fixed your hair into loose waves. The whole process was lighthearted, filled with little jokes and the kind of banter that made you forget, even for a moment, about the knot in your stomach.

When you were finally ready, Natasha gave you an approving nod. “Okay, you’re perfect. Wanda and I are gonna head to the bar now, give you and Dean a little entrance moment.”

“Thanks,” you said, fiddling with the hem of your sweater. “You said the guys are already there?”

Natasha hesitated for a beat, then nodded. “Yeah. Bucky’s there too. That okay?”

You swallowed, trying to keep your expression neutral. “That’s fine. I mean, he’s part of the group, right? And I said I want things to be normal again.”

Natasha gave you a searching look. “If you change your mind, say the word, and I’ll drag him out so fast his head will spin.”

You shook your head quickly. “No, it’s fine. Really. Better to see him with everyone else around. He’s part of us, part of me. Gotta get it over with, right?”

Natasha’s eyes softened, and she pulled you into a hug. “You’re stronger than you think, you know that?”

Wanda joined in, squeezing you tight. “We’ve got you,” she said with a warm smile. “Always.”

“See you in a minute,” Natasha said with a wink before they left, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

The quiet settled over the apartment as you paced for a moment, nerves bubbling to the surface. Your phone buzzed, and you grabbed it eagerly.

Dean: Hey :-) I’m downstairs whenever you’re ready.

You checked yourself one last time in the mirror, smoothing your sweater and adjusting your necklace. Then you grabbed your bag and headed out. As you stepped into the elevator, another message came through.

Natasha: He seems to be in good spirits. Gave me a hug and everything. It’s gonna be okay… Oh, by the way, he doesn’t know about you bringing Dean. Sam pulled me aside when I got here.

You stared at the message, your stomach twisting.

You: Great.

Shoving your phone into your bag, you took a deep breath as the elevator doors opened. Time to face the night.

As you stepped out of your apartment building, you spotted Dean leaning casually against his car, his hands in his pockets. He looked effortlessly handsome in a dark denim jacket and a simple black shirt. When his eyes met yours, his face lit up with a warm smile.

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice soft but laced with excitement. “You look amazing.”

You felt your cheeks flush slightly. “Thanks. You clean up pretty well yourself.”

He chuckled, opening the passenger door for you before you had a chance to protest. “Ready for this?”

You took a deep breath, glancing at him as you got in. “Yeah, as ready as I’ll ever be.”

The ride to the bar was short, filled with light conversation and the kind of laughter that made you momentarily forget your nerves. But as you neared your destination, Dean’s tone shifted, becoming more thoughtful.

“So,” he began, glancing over at you at a red light, “anything I should know? You know, to make a killer first impression with your friends?”

You laughed softly, appreciating his effort. “Well, they’re all pretty easygoing… but they’re also insanely protective.”

“Noted,” Dean said, smirking. “Who should I be most worried about?”

You hesitated, your mind immediately going to Bucky. But you didn’t want to say his name just yet. “Natasha,” you said instead, half-joking. “She can be… intense. But it comes from a good place but im sure you already know that”

Dean nodded, clearly taking mental notes. “Got it. Be charming but not too charming.”

“Exactly,” you said, smiling. “Wanda’s super sweet, so you’re safe there. Sam’s a joker, so if he starts teasing you, it’s a good sign. And Steve… well, Steve’s like the group’s moral compass. If he likes you, you’re golden.”

Dean let out a low whistle. “Sounds like a solid group.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Something like that.”

As you pulled up to the bar, the knot in your stomach tightened again. Dean must have sensed it because he reached over, his hand resting lightly on yours. “Hey,” he said softly. “Relax. It’ll be fine. And if it’s not, we’ll just make a run for it.”

You chuckled despite yourself, squeezing his hand. “Thanks, Dean.”

“Anytime,” he said with a wink as he parked the car.

The two of you stepped out, and as you approached the bar’s entrance, your heart started to pound. The familiar sounds of laughter and music spilled out onto the street, and you could already see your friends gathered at your usual corner table. You took a deep breath, bracing yourself for what was to come.

Dean held the door open for you, his expression calm and confident. “Let’s do this.”

The moment you and Dean walked into the bar, your eyes immediately found your usual booth. Sam, facing the door, was the first to notice you. His grin widened, and he nudged Steve beside him. Both men stood as Sam made his way toward you.

“Hey! Look who’s finally here,” Sam called out, pulling you into a warm, familiar hug. “You didn’t get lost, did you?”

You laughed. “You wish, Wilson.”

As Sam stepped back, Steve was right there, his soft smile as steady as ever. “You look great,” he said, pulling you in for a quick, friendly hug.

“Thanks, Stevie.” You tried to keep your voice light, but his comforting presence was already easing your nerves.

Dean extended his hand to Sam, his posture relaxed but confident. “Sam, right? It’s great to meet you. Y/N’s told me all about you.”

“All good things, I hope,” Sam said, shaking Dean’s hand with a grin. “Sam Wilson, resident funnyman.”

Dean chuckled. “Only the best things. I’ve been looking forward to this.”

“And I’m Steve,” Steve chimed in, extending his hand after Sam stepped aside. “Glad you could join us.”

“Likewise,” Dean replied, shaking Steve’s hand firmly. “Y/N’s been hyping this place up.”

After Dean waved at Natasha, who gave him a knowing smirk, and shook hands with Wanda, your focus inevitably drifted to the end of the booth. Bucky sat there, his back to you, his head slightly down as he sipped his drink. The sight of him made your chest tighten, and you hesitated for a split second before Dean spoke again.

“Hey,” Dean said, extending his hand toward Bucky. “You must be Bucky.”

Slowly, Bucky turned, his blue eyes locking onto yours for a brief, intense moment before shifting to Dean. His jaw clenched, and after a pause, he stood and shook Dean’s hand. His grip was firm, deliberate.

“Bucky,” he said, his voice low and measured.

Dean smiled, unfazed. “Nice to meet you. Y/N’s told me you two go way back.”

Bucky’s eyes flicked to you, then back to Dean. “Yeah. Something like that.”

You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his gaze even after he sat back down. Dean slid into the booth beside you as everyone shuffled to make room. Now, it was Natasha next to Wanda, then Steve, Sam, and finally you and Dean, directly across from Bucky.

The waiter came by to take your drink orders, and the usual buzz of conversation began. Sam, ever the storyteller, launched into a tale about his latest misadventure at the VA, complete with exaggerated gestures and dramatic pauses. Laughter erupted around the table, even from Dean, who seemed to be settling in easily.

Everyone, that is, except Bucky.

He sat back in his seat, his drink in hand, his gaze sharp but distant. Every so often, you felt his eyes on you, a heavy, unspoken tension lingering between the two of you. It wasn’t lost on Dean, who kept glancing between you and Bucky, his curiosity evident but unspoken.

“So, Dean,” Sam said, leaning forward. “What’s it like working with Nat?”

Dean grinned. “It’s great. She’s a force to be reckoned with. Keeps everyone on their toes.”

Natasha raised her glass with a smirk. “Damn right I do.”

“And what exactly do you do again?” Steve asked, his interest genuine.

“Security consulting,” Dean replied. “Risk assessment, crisis management, stuff like that.”

Sam nodded appreciatively. “Sounds badass.”

Dean chuckled. “It can be. Keeps me on my toes, for sure.”

Dean then turned to Bucky, clearly making an effort to include him. “And you, Bucky? Y/N mentioned you both work in publishing.”

Bucky’s fingers tightened around his glass as he gave a short nod. “Yeah. Reviewing manuscripts, editing, making sure everything’s ready for print.”

Dean nodded, his tone still friendly. “That’s awesome. Must be great working alongside your best friend.”

Bucky’s jaw ticked, and his eyes briefly met yours again. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “It’s… something.”

The silence that followed was heavy, and you felt your stomach twist. Dean, sensing the tension, tried to steer the conversation back on track, but before he could, Bucky abruptly stood, grabbing his empty glass.

“Be right back,” he muttered, heading toward the bar without another word.

You watched him go, your heart pounding in your chest. The knot in your stomach tightened, and you forced yourself to focus on the laughter and conversation around you, even as your thoughts remained with Bucky.

The laughter at the table was infectious, the kind that made your cheeks hurt. Sam was recounting some ridiculous story about a mishap at work, complete with exaggerated impressions of his coworkers. Natasha rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop giggling, and even Wanda had to wipe away a tear from laughing so hard.

You tried to stay present, chiming in here and there, but your eyes kept drifting toward the bar. Bucky was leaning against it, nursing another drink, his back to the room. His shoulders were tense, and you could tell—even from this distance—that he was deep in thought.

Steve, ever perceptive, caught your glance. He gave you a subtle look, raising an eyebrow as if to say Want me to check on him?

You hesitated, then gave him a small, grateful smile. Steve nodded, sliding out of the booth with ease.

“I’ll be back in a sec,” he said casually, patting Sam on the shoulder as he passed. “Don’t let them order wings without me.”

“Not making any promises,” Sam called after him, grinning.

Steve made his way to the bar, his presence steady as always. You watched out of the corner of your eye as he approached Bucky, leaning on the bar beside him. Their conversation started low, and Bucky glanced over his shoulder briefly, his expression unreadable.

Natasha leaned over, nudging you playfully. “You okay, babe? You seem a little… distracted.”

You blinked, forcing a smile. “Yeah, just… you know, first time bringing someone into the group. Kinda nerve-wracking.”

Dean, catching the tail end of your comment, smiled warmly. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Everyone’s been great so far. I mean, Sam’s a riot.”

Sam raised his glass. “Damn right I am.”

“And Wanda,” Dean continued, gesturing toward her, “she’s been keeping me on my toes with all her quick-witted remarks.”

Wanda smirked. “Gotta make sure you can keep up, Dean.”

The table laughed, and for a moment, you felt a little lighter. But your eyes drifted back toward the bar. Steve was saying something to Bucky, his tone calm but firm. Bucky looked down at his drink, his jaw clenched.

Natasha followed your gaze, her smile fading slightly. “They’ll be fine,” she said quietly, her voice just for you. “Bucky needs to cool off, and Steve knows how to handle him.”

You nodded, taking a sip of your drink to steady yourself. “Yeah. I know.”

At the bar, Steve leaned in slightly, his voice low. “Alright, Buck. Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Bucky sighed, swirling the amber liquid in his glass. “Nothing. Just needed a breather.”

“Sure doesn’t look like nothing,” Steve said, his tone gentle but probing. “You’ve been brooding since they walked in.”

Bucky scoffed, shooting him a sideways glance. “Didn’t know you were the feelings police, Rogers.”

Steve chuckled softly. “You know me, always looking out for my friends.”

Bucky didn’t respond immediately, his eyes fixed on the counter. After a moment, he muttered, “It’s weird seeing her with him.”

Steve nodded, keeping his tone neutral. “Yeah, I figured. But she seems happy.”

Bucky’s grip on his glass tightened slightly. “I know. That’s the problem.”

Steve tilted his head. “You want her to be happy, right?”

“Of course I do,” Bucky said quickly, his voice a little too sharp. “It’s just… he’s not one of us. He doesn’t get her the way we do.”

Steve studied him for a moment, then said, “Buck, if you’ve got something to say to her, you can’t keep waiting for the perfect moment. Life doesn’t work like that. Trust me i know" He smiled sadly.

Bucky’s eyes flicked toward the table, where you were laughing with Sam and Natasha. His expression softened, but there was still a weight behind his gaze. “Yeah… maybe.”

Steve clapped him on the shoulder. “Just think about it, alright? And if you need to vent, you know where to find me.”

Bucky nodded, finishing the last of his drink. “Thanks, Steve.”

“Anytime,” Steve replied, standing upright. “Now, come back to the table before Sam eats all the wings.”

Bucky let out a small chuckle, setting his glass down. “Alright, alright. Let’s go.”

As the two of them returned, the dynamic shifted slightly. Bucky slid back into his spot next to Wanda, his demeanor a little more relaxed. You caught his eye briefly, and though neither of you said anything, the tension seemed to ease just a bit.

Steve slid in next to Sam, who immediately started teasing him about missing the best part of the story. Dean, oblivious to the undercurrents, leaned in toward you, his hand resting lightly on your knee beneath the table. “See?” he whispered. “Told you this would go well.”

You smiled, hoping he couldn’t sense the turmoil still swirling beneath the surface. “Yeah,” you murmured. “It’s going great.”

The table was a flurry of activity as the wings arrived, piled high on multiple platters. Everyone dove in with gusto, the smell of tangy barbecue and spicy buffalo sauce filling the air. Drinks were refilled, and the conversation flowed easily.

Sam leaned back, wiping his hands on a napkin. “Man, I’ve been waiting all week for this.”

Natasha smirked. “Yeah, well, don’t eat too fast. We’ve got plenty of time to enjoy it.”

Dean chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “I can see why this is a regular thing for you guys. It’s nice.”

You nodded, feeling the warmth of the familiar setting, even with the subtle tension still lingering under the surface. Everyone seemed to be making an effort to keep things light, and for the most part, it was working.

A few drinks later, as the laughter died down for a moment, Dean glanced around the table, his curiosity piqued. “So,” he began, his tone casual, “is anyone else seeing anyone? Or is this the final group count?”

The question lingered in the air, and you noticed a subtle shift in energy. Wanda raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly as she reached for her drink.

“Well,” Sam said, grinning, “I’m playing the field. Gotta keep my options open, you know?”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “By ‘playing the field,’ he means he’s been flirting with the bartender at our usual spot for months and hasn’t made a move.”

Sam held up a finger. “Hey, I’m working on it.”

Everyone chuckled, and Dean turned his attention to Wanda. “What about you, Wanda? Anyone special?”

Wanda shook her head, a soft smile on her face. “Nope. Too busy trying to keep my plants alive.”

Dean laughed. “Fair enough.”

He looked over at Steve next. “And you, Steve? Got someone in your life?”

Steve, who had been quietly nursing his drink, looked up, his expression calm but unreadable. “Not at the moment, got some stuff to sort through” he said simply, his eyes flicking briefly to you before he focused back on his glass. “Just focusing on work.”

Dean nodded, clearly not picking up on the subtext. “Makes sense. You seem like the kind of guy who’s got his priorities straight.”

Steve gave a small smile, but he didn’t respond, his fingers tapping lightly against the side of his glass.

Finally, Dean’s gaze landed on Bucky, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, mostly focusing on his food. “What about you, Bucky? Anyone special?”

The table fell silent for a beat too long. Bucky set down his wing, wiping his hands deliberately as he leaned back in his seat. His expression was neutral, but his jaw tightened slightly. “Nope,” he said, his voice clipped. “No one.”

Dean, oblivious to the tension, smiled. “Really? I find that hard to believe.”

Bucky’s eyes flicked to yours for the briefest moment before he shrugged. “Guess I’m just picky.”

Natasha snorted into her drink, and Sam quickly covered a laugh with a cough. You felt your cheeks heat up and reached for your own drink to hide your reaction.

“Well,” Dean said, clearly trying to keep the conversation light, “picky’s not a bad thing. Just means you know what you want.”

Bucky didn’t respond, his gaze fixed firmly on his plate. The silence stretched, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air.

Sensing the awkwardness, Sam jumped in, raising his glass. “Alright, enough about our love lives. Let’s toast to Friday nights, good food, and even better company.”

Everyone raised their glasses, and the moment passed, but you couldn’t help the way your heart raced every time Bucky’s eyes drifted in your direction, even if only for a second.

The bar was bustling, the low hum of music and chatter creating a comforting buzz as you waited for the bartender to line up the shots. You were trying to focus on the drinks, the simple act of getting them back to your friends, but your thoughts kept drifting—Dean’s question about relationships, the tense exchange between Bucky and him, and now, the weight of Bucky’s silence.

You felt him before you saw him, his presence unmistakable as he slid up beside you, leaning on the bar. His scent—faint cologne mixed with something distinctly him—sent a rush of memories flooding back. You glanced up, but he didn’t say anything at first, just watched as you picked up the first tray of shots.

“Need help?” he asked, his voice low, almost hesitant.

You gave him a small smile, trying to keep things light. “No, it’s okay. I got it. Thanks, though, Buck.”

He nodded, his jaw tightening slightly as he shifted his weight. But then, after a beat of silence, he spoke again, his tone more serious. “He’s not right for you.”

The words hit you like a jolt, and you froze, your hand hovering over the next tray. Slowly, you turned to face him, your brows furrowed in confusion and disbelief. “What?”

Bucky’s blue eyes locked onto yours, intense and pleading. “Dean. He’s not right for you.”

You let out a soft, incredulous laugh, shaking your head. “And how exactly would you know what’s right for me, Bucky?”

“I just… I know,” he said, his voice tinged with frustration. “You think he gets you? Think he knows you?”

Your chest tightened, the familiar ache surfacing. “That’s not fair, its new-- im trying,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “You don’t get to decide that for me.”

Bucky’s hand clenched on the bar, his knuckles whitening. “You think I don’t see it? The way he looks at you? Like he’s just waiting for the right moment to get what he wants, its like Mike all over again…But it’s not real. Not like—”

You froze “Don’t you bring that up James.." Your voice low "And not like what?” you shot back, your voice sharper now. “Not like us? Newsflash, Bucky: there is no ‘us.’ You made damn sure of that.”

His jaw clenched, and for a moment, he looked like he was struggling to find the right words. “You act like you’re the only one hurting,” he finally said, his voice low but cutting. “But you’re not. You hurt people too!”

Your heart sank, your throat tightening. “What are you talking about?”

Bucky’s eyes flickered, his frustration giving way to something rawer. “You hurt me, you have been for years! You just dont see it...” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “And you hurt Steve.”

“Steve?” you repeated, your voice barely a whisper. “What about Steve?” You mind reeled back to how off he’s been lately.

Bucky let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “You can’t tell me you’ve never noticed. He’s been madly in love with you for years, and you just… what? Pretend not to see it? You think that doesn’t hurt him?”

The weight of his words hit you like a freight train, and your eyes instinctively darted across the bar. Natasha and Steve were standing together, both of them looking your way. Natasha’s gaze was sharp, assessing, while Steve’s was softer, a mix of concern and something deeper. Your stomach twisted as you saw the truth written plainly on his face, a truth you’d somehow managed to ignore until now.

You turned back to Bucky, your voice trembling. “I don’t know who you are anymore.”

His face fell, a flicker of pain crossing his features, but he didn’t say anything. You grabbed the tray of shots, your hands shaking as you carried it back to the table. Natasha’s eyes followed you the whole way, and Steve’s expression shifted into something unreadable as you set the tray down in front of them.

Dean grinned, oblivious to the storm brewing. “Finally! Thought you got lost at the bar.”

You forced a smile, sliding into the booth beside him as you handed out the drinks. “Just took a little longer than expected.”

Natasha shot you a questioning look, but you shook your head subtly, letting her know now wasn’t the time. As the group raised their glasses in a toast, your eyes flickered back to the bar, where Bucky still stood, watching you with a look that sent a fresh wave of heartache crashing over you.

Summer before Senior year

The summer heat clung to the air, thick and stifling, as Bucky sat on the porch steps of Steve's house, bouncing his leg anxiously. He'd been quiet for most of the afternoon, his thoughts circling like a storm, the tension building with every passing minute.

Steve leaned against the railing, arms crossed as he watched his best friend brood. Finally, he sighed, breaking the silence. "Come on, Buck. When are you gonna go talk to her?"

Bucky's jaw clenched, and he shook his head. "Why does it have to be me first? She's the one who walked away."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, well, you didn't exactly give her a reason to stay. You basically pushed her away"

Bucky's head snapped up, his blue eyes filled with frustration. "I told her the truth, Steve. I warned her about Mike, and she didn't listen, if he breaks her heart thats her problem not mine."

Steve pushed off the railing, stepping closer. "You think this is just about Mike? Buck, she's hurting. And trust me....she needs you."

Bucky scoffed, his tone defensive. "If she needed me so bad, she'd be here."

Steve exhaled sharply, clearly losing patience. "She's not here because she's scared, because she feels alone, and because she thinks you don't care anymore."

Bucky's throat worked as he swallowed, his gaze falling to the ground. "I can't believe she went out with him," he muttered, more to himself than to Steve. His hands clenched into fists at his sides. "That guy's a piece of shit."

Steve stepped closer, his voice low but firm. "Bucky...She...they..."

Bucky's head shot up, his eyes wide with realization. "She..?"

Steve nodded, his expression grim. "Yeah. And he just left her there."

The weight of Steve's words hit Bucky like a punch to the gut. His mind raced, his chest tightened as anger and guilt warred within him.

"Where?" Bucky asked, his voice low, almost a growl. "Where did he leave her?"

Steve hesitated, then said, "The cliff."

Bucky didn't wait for another word. He bolted from the porch, his heart pounding as he made a beeline for your house. His feet pounded against the pavement, but before he reached your street, something caught his eye in the open field nearby. A group of guys were playing flag football, laughing and shouting-and among them was Mike.

Bucky's blood boiled as he altered his course, heading straight for the field. The laughter died down when the players noticed him, their gazes shifting uneasily.

"Hey, Buck," one of them called, wary. "What's up, man?"

Bucky ignored him, his focus solely on Mike, who stood in the middle of the group, smirking as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"What do you want, Barnes?" Mike asked, cocky as ever.

Bucky didn't answer. He just strode forward and, without hesitation, drove his fist directly into Mike's face. The sickening crunch of bone and cartilage echoed as Mike stumbled back, blood immediately streaming from his nose.

"Stay the fuck away from her," Bucky growled, his voice dangerously low.

Mike wiped the blood from his face, grinning like a maniac despite the pain. "What's the matter, Barnes? Mad I deflowered your girl? Because you were too pussy to do it yourself?"

Bucky's vision went red. He punched Mike again, harder this time, sending him sprawling to the ground. The other guys started to step in, but one glare from Bucky had them backing off.

Mike groaned, but he still laughed, his teeth stained red. "She tasted so sweet," he sneered, his voice taunting. "So tight. A perfect little notch on my belt. She was desperate for it, practically begging-"

Bucky didn't let him finish. He turned on his heel and sprinted toward your house, his heart thundering in his chest. His mind raced with fury and panic, the image of you sitting alone at the cliff, broken and hurting, driving him forward.

He had to get to you. He had to make this right.

The bar buzzed with laughter and music, the energy high as your group settled deeper into the booth. Drinks flowed, wings were shared, and the conversation had turned to teasing stories from the past. You felt the warmth of familiarity, even with the slight tension still lingering from earlier.

Dean excused himself to take a phone call, offering you a soft smile before stepping toward the back exit. You watched him go, feeling the comfort of his steady presence, even as your thoughts wandered to Bucky. He’d been quiet all night, his usual sharp wit dulled by whatever storm was brewing inside him..

Needing a moment, Bucky stood, stretching as he made his way toward the bathroom. He passed the back exit and froze when he heard Dean’s voice, low and smooth, just around the corner.

As he made his way toward the bathroom, Bucky caught sight of Dean. He hesitated, the urge to confront gnawing at him, but he kept walking—until Dean glanced up and caught his eye.

“Bucky,” Dean said with a slight smirk, slipping his phone into his pocket. “You following me now?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes. “Didn’t realize I needed to. Just taking a walk.”

Dean leaned casually against the wall, crossing his arms. “You’ve been watching us all night. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched, and he folded his arms across his chest. “Yeah? And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Dean chuckled, his tone light but pointed. “It means you’re not exactly subtle, man. You’ve got this look every time she laughs at something I say, like you’re ready to tear me apart. Jealous much?”

Bucky took a step closer, his voice low. “Maybe I just don’t think you’re good enough for her.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, his smirk unwavering. “That so? Funny, because from where I’m standing, it looks like I’m the one who’s actually here for her. You had your chance from what i’ve seen, and you blew it. That’s not on me.”

Bucky’s chest tightened, and his fists clenched at his sides. “You don’t know a damn thing about me or her.”

Dean’s smirk faded slightly, his tone dropping. “I know you’re hung up on her. And I know she deserves someone who’s all in, not someone who’s just been dragging her through the mud for years because he’s too scared to step up.”

Bucky’s blood boiled. “You think you know what she needs?” he growled, stepping even closer. “You don’t know half of what we’ve been through.”

Dean shrugged, his expression calm but unyielding. “Maybe not. But I do know this: I’m here now, and you’re just a guy at the bar, staring like you’re waiting for permission to act.” He straightened, his gaze sharp. “She’s amazing. She deserves more than being someone’s regret.”

That did it.

Before Dean could react, Bucky’s fist connected with his jaw in a swift, hard punch. Dean stumbled back, holding his face, but his composure didn’t falter long. He let out a humourless laugh, wiping his mouth as he straightened.

“Well, that’s one way to admit you’re still in love with her,” Dean said, his tone sharp but surprisingly calm. “Too bad you’re a little late.”

Bucky took another step forward, but Dean held up a hand. “I’m not doing this,” he said firmly. “You’ve got your own demons to sort out, Bucky. Don’t make her collateral damage.”

With that, Dean turned and walked back toward the table, leaving Bucky seething in his wake.

Dean leaned against the table, his face composed but red blooming across his jaw. Natasha’s eyes narrowed immediately, her gaze darting between Dean and the direction of the bar. “What the hell happened?”

Dean exhaled, tilting his head slightly as if trying to shake off the impact. “Your buddy hit me.”

You choked on your drink, eyes wide in disbelief as Sam quickly leaned over, patting your back. “What?” you managed to get out, your voice hoarse with shock.

Dean nodded, glancing around the table, his eyes lingering on Natasha before meeting yours. “Yeah. He’s got a hell of a right hook.”

Natasha’s jaw tightened. “That idiot,” she muttered, already pushing to get out of the booth.

Dean raised a hand to stop her. “No need to escalate. It’s handled.” He looked at you, his expression softening. “Can we talk for a second?”

You blinked, still processing what just happened, but you nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

The others watched as you slid out of the booth, your gaze flicking toward the bar. Bucky stood there now with Sam and Steve, both of whom were leaning in, their expressions serious as they talked to him. Bucky’s shoulders were tense, his head tilted down like he was bracing himself.

You turned away and followed Dean outside.

The cool night air hit you, a stark contrast to the warmth and chaos inside. Dean led you a few steps away from the entrance, giving you both a semblance of privacy. He shoved his hands into his pockets, his eyes soft but resolute as he turned to face you.

“Look,” he began, his tone gentle. “You’re incredible. You’re smart, funny, beautiful—everything any guy could want.”

Your heart sank at the way his voice carried a finality you weren’t ready for. “Dean—”

He shook his head, giving you a small, sad smile. “Let me finish.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t want drama. I don’t want fights and complications. And as much as I like you, I can’t ignore what I saw tonight.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, though deep down, you already knew.

Dean���s eyes searched yours, his voice soft but firm. “You and Bucky. Whatever it is between you two… it’s not going away. I can see it in the way he looks at you. Hell, I can see it in the way you look at him, even if you don’t realize it.”

Your breath hitched, and you felt the sting of tears threatening to surface. “Dean, I—”

He shook his head again, this time with a sad chuckle. “It’s okay. I get it. But I can’t be someone’s second choice—not when I’m putting them first.”

The weight of his words settled over you like a heavy blanket, suffocating and unyielding. You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came. What could you say? He was right, and deep down, you both knew it.

Dean reached out, his hand gentle as he cupped your cheek. “You deserve to figure out what you really want without me in the middle of it.”

You nodded, the tears finally spilling over. “I’m sorry.”

He smiled softly, leaning in to place a tender kiss on your forehead. “Don’t be. I’m glad we met.” He stepped back, his hand slipping away. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

You nodded, unable to speak as he turned and walked away, his figure disappearing down the street.

You stood outside for a moment, trying to collect yourself. When you finally re-entered the bar, the weight of Dean’s words still lingered heavily on your heart. The noise hit you again, but all you could focus on was the booth where your friends sat. Natasha and Wanda were deep in conversation, their eyes occasionally darting toward you.

Sam and Steve were still by the bar with Bucky. Sam’s hands were on Bucky’s shoulders, clearly trying to talk him down, while Steve glanced toward you, his expression unreadable.

Your legs felt like lead as you walked back toward the booth, the reality of the night sinking in.

This wasn’t just about Dean leaving. This was about everything that had been building for years. And now, it was all unraveling.

You returned to the table with heavy steps, the weight of the night pressing down on you. Everyone’s conversation fell silent as you approached. Without a word, you sat down, grabbing your nearly empty glass and downing the last of it. Then, you reached for the shot in front of you and knocked it back too, the burn barely registering.

The table was tense, eyes flicking between you and Bucky, who had just returned from the bar. His jaw was set, his arms crossed as he leaned against the booth, avoiding your gaze.

But you weren’t done. You grabbed Steve’s half-finished drink and swallowed it in one go, slamming the empty glass on the table. The tears started to well up, and you didn’t care who saw anymore.

Finally, you turned to Bucky, your voice shaking but steady. “How could you do this to me?”

Bucky’s eyes snapped to yours, wide with sadness and guilt, but you didn’t give him a chance to respond.

“Why do you keep doing this to me?” Your voice rose, breaking slightly as the tears began to stream down your face. “Why do you keep hurting me? For what, Bucky?! What do you get out of it?”

“Doll, I—” Bucky started, his voice low, but you cut him off.

“No! Don’t ‘doll’ me. I don’t get it! I don’t get you! You’re supposed to be my best friend, the person I can trust, but all you do is make me feel like this!” You gestured at your tear-streaked face, your chest heaving with the weight of your emotions. “And I can’t do this anymore. I can’t feel like this anymore!”

Bucky’s face was a mixture of hurt and panic, his mouth opening as if to say something, but the words seemed to get caught in his throat.

You stood abruptly, grabbing your bag, your chair scraping loudly against the floor. “I’m done, Bucky.” Your voice dropped to a near whisper, broken and raw. “I can’t keep doing this.”

Without giving him the chance to respond, you turned and stormed out of the bar, ignoring the concerned voices of your friends behind you. Natasha called your name, and you heard Sam mutter a curse under his breath, but none of it mattered. You pushed past the door and into the cool night air, the weight of everything crashing down on you as you kept walking, your tears blurring the city lights around you

[aquaticmercy]

Waste a Moment / Part 13

Summary : Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : Mentions of food. Cursing. Memory loss. Head injury. Reader used to work in a museum.

Requested by :  @remoony

Word count : 2.7k

Note : uhhhh I might extend this to 18 parts instead of the 17 planned. Please let me know if I miss anyone on the tags! Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

“Beast to the Wild”

Sunday afternoon.

Yelena arrived as quickly as she could.

She found Sam standing outside the control room, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. He looked like he wanted to punch a hole in the wall but was holding himself back, his usual calm composure cracking under the concern furrowed in his eyebrows.

“He’s in there,” Sam said, nodding toward the closed door. His voice was subdued in a way that sent a chill through her spine. “Hasn’t moved since it happened.”

Yelena frowned, glancing at the door. “How bad is it?” she asked, though the answer was already clawing at her stomach. 

“Bad,” Sam sighed, his eyes drifting down to his shoes.  “You know he gets when it’s her.”

Yelena did know. Too well. She nodded, swallowing hard and squaring her shoulders.

She paused at the door, steeling herself. She already knew what was coming—the anger, the accusations. She could already hear his voice in her mind: “Are you happy now? Are you happy that she knows? Are you happy now that she’s gone?”

But when she stepped inside, the words she braced for didn’t come. 

Bucky was hunched over the console, his shoulders bowed as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. His hands were in his hair, fingers raking into his scalp like he could pull himself out of whatever hell he had occupied. The screens in front of him flickered with useless data: satellite feeds, news updates, and endless blank logs that told him nothing. 

Yelena’s heart twisted at the sight of the grieving supersoldier. She almost hesitated.

But she couldn’t stop— not now. Not when it was you. Not when it was her best friend.

She stepped inside, shutting the door quietly behind her. 

“Barnes,” she said, her voice fragile but steady.

He didn’t look at her. His teeth clenched, and for a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to respond. He had an emptiness in his eyes— no rage. No anger. Just all-consuming guilt.

Then he exhaled, ragged and uneven. It was like it hurt him just to breathe. 

“I fucked up,” he said, his voice low and hoarse. “She’s gone, and it’s my fault.” 

Yelena froze. She had expected yelling, had braced for misplaced blame. But this—this quiet, devastating admission—was worse. She took a slow step closer, her fist clenched at her sides. 

“What exactly happened?” she asked carefully, her stomach knotting.

He laughed, but it was a bitter, hollow sound. “What didn’t happen?” He finally looked up at her, and the disbelief in his eyes hit her like a punch to the gut. “She broke in. She ran. She disabled tracking, cloaked the jet. I can’t—” His voice broke, and he dropped his head into his hands again. “I can’t find her.”

Yelena’s chest tightened. 

You were out there somewhere, unreachable, and Bucky was destroying himself for it, piece by piece. 

“She’s strong,” Yelena said, her voice firm even as fear clawed at her insides. “Rhodey said she’s doing great on her flight training. She’ll be okay.” 

“Will she?” Bucky snapped, looking up sharply. His voice faltered, the anger draining out of him as quickly as it had flared. He slumped back in his chair, his hands trembling as they rested on the desk. He tapped a frantic rhythm on the wood. “I should have been honest with her from the start, I should’ve listened to you, I should—fuck, what if she’s in danger? What if she—” 

He couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Yelena could see it in his eyes— the fear that was eating him alive, torturing him from the inside out.

She knew how capable you were, but she also knew the risks of going rogue like this, cutting yourself off from your lifeline.

“She’ll come back,” Yelena said firmly, though not entirely convinced. 

Bucky shook his head. His blue eyes were distant, staring at the horizon as if he was imagining you coming back to him. “What if she doesn’t?”

The silence that followed was unbearable, thick with unspoken fears neither of them were eager to vocalise. Yelena bit the inside of her cheek, forcing herself to stay calm, to keep a level head. But inside, her thoughts were racing. If something had happened to you—if you didn't return—she didn’t know how Bucky would survive it. 

In all honesty, She didn’t know how she would survive it.

"That's not an option," Yelena said again, her voice quieter. "And when she comes back, you're going to fix this. We’re going to fix this."  

Bucky swallowed hard, his throat tightening around the air he needed so desperately to breathe. "That’s what we got wrong," he said, his voice trembling. "She didn’t need fixing. She never did." His muscles tensed as the realisation sank in. He’d been so consumed with trying to shield you, rearranging your life to protect you from the truth, that he couldn’t see the damage his silence was doing. And Yelena—she lacked the courage to tell you when he failed. She’d built a friendship with you, but always held herself at arm’s length, unwilling to face the thought of you shattered, bruised, or hollowed out. In their misguided attempts to fix you, Bucky had kept you blind to the truth, while Yelena had refused to acknowledge away from the parts of you that were still lost, too afraid to confront what lay beneath. "She just needed a push,” Bucky continued.

"Then we’ll give her that," Yelena said softly, her own voice crackling.

Bucky didn’t respond. His eyes were locked on the screens in front of him, scanning for something, anything, that might tell him where you were. 

But there was nothing. 

Just static and silence.

Yelena pulled up a chair and sat down beside him. They were both terrified for you, for what might have happened, for what still could. But she wasn’t going to leave him alone in this. And maybe, she needed someone who understood.

Monday.

The days that followed were nothing but an endless stretch of anxiety, a string of minutes that dragged into hours, into days. Bucky paced the compound like a caged animal that had been wounded, unable to rest, unable to let himself sleep, not while you were out there—wherever there was. 

You could be anywhere.

The first night, he’d convinced himself that you’d return before sunrise. You had to. He had barely let himself leave the command room, his eyes glued to the screen as if he could will a blip to appear on the radar. But hour after hour passed, and there was only silence. 

Tuesday.

The second day, Sam had finally pulled him aside, brow furrowed with a look of worry he had only seen on his friend’s face a few times before. “You need to sleep,” Sam had said, trying to talk some sense into him. But Bucky waved him off, his chest tight, his pulse thundering with a primal fear he didn’t know how to control.

Wednesday.

By the third day, his hands trembled. 

He hadn’t eaten, hadn’t even thought about it. His world was confined to the four walls of the control room, where every incoming call, every email, and every intel update had no real consequence, and every dead end became a reminder that you were still missing. Yelena kept coming in, putting her hand hesitantly on his shoulder from time to time.

Yelena was exhausted too, every ounce of her strength spent holding herself together. It took everything she had not to retreat to the solitude of an empty apartment and break down, the way she had the first time.

She didn’t offer empty reassurances anymore— she knew Bucky wouldn’t believe them. She gave him the updates as they were: no news, no sightings, no leads.

Every minute chipped away at his mind. You could be hurt, or worse—

He didn’t let himself finish that thought. 

Outside the window, the sky cycled through night and day. The compound, usually bustling with heroes and friends alike, felt quiet. Everyone helped  in any way they could— Rhodey going on daily flights to scan surrounding areas, Scott scouring the cyber security networks for any sign of you. They even got Bruce and Clint to search for leads.

Bucky would glance up from the monitors, hoping to catch a glimpse of you walking through the door, half-dazed, explaining how it was all a misunderstanding. But the doorway remained empty. 

He remained alone.

Somewhere between the updates, Sam tried to get him to rest again, even pulled a chair over, but Bucky barely listened to him. His mind was too noisy, a nonstop assault of what-ifs and maybes.

When Yelena reported back for the fifth time that day, her voice a desperate apology, Bucky had wanted to scream. He was so damn tired of nothing, of waiting, of feeling useless.

“Bucky,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re going to burn yourself out. You need—”

He shook his head, the words too hard to find, too tangled in the mess of vines growing like weeds in his chest. “She’s out there, and it’s my fault,” he muttered, his voice hoarse. “I can’t just… stop.”

Yelena didn’t argue.

She knew that until you were safe, Bucky would not rest. Could not rest.

Another hour. Another dead end.

And then another.

Thursday.

The fourth day was cold and grey, as if the sky itself was scolding him of his failures as a partner— as a friend. The weather disturbances had rendered the radar useless, and there was nothing he could do but wait it out. 

Bucky hadn’t left the command centre in over seventy-two hours, his bloodshot eyes glued to the monitors that had long stopped giving any useful information. He was exhausted to the bone, but the thought of you out there kept him wired, kept his muscles tense, his fists clenched. But even his supersoldier physiology was working overtime, and he knew that at some point, it would catch up with him.

Yelena was beside him, uncharacteristically still. Even Sam, who usually had a quip ready for any situation, had fallen silent, his hands folded tightly as they all waited for something they didn’t know would even come.

Then, without warning, the heavy security doors of the compound opened with a metallic creak that shattered the silence. 

Bucky’s eyes shot up, and his heart stopped for a beat. He’d imagined this moment so many times in the past few days that he couldn’t believe it at first. 

But there you were, standing in the doorway.

Except you were barely standing.

Blood smeared your arms, your knuckles so bruised and raw that he could see the whites of your bones underneath, your clothes torn in places he didn’t want to look too closely at. Your face was marked with cuts, some shallow, others deep enough to have left trails of dried blood down your cheek. 

And in your hand, glinting dully, was a golden blade encrusted in cryptic symbols, the artefact he’d decided you weren’t ready for. The one he’d postponed for your own safety, to keep you from facing too much, too soon.

Bucky felt his chest seize as he looked at you, relief and horror washing over him in equal measure.

Relief that you were here, you were alive— but gut wrenching horror at the state you were in.

No one dared to speak as you strode forward. There was no remaining a softness in your gaze, no relief in your expression. Just in unwavering, simmering anger as you approached the table in the middle of the room. Without a word, you threw the artefact down, the metal hitting the surface with a loud, echoing clink. The dagger gleamed in the dim light, almost mocking them all with its careless beauty.

Bucky’s chest tightened as he fought to breathe, to form the words that could somehow repair the chasm between you, but nothing came. Nothing except the sharpness of your stare, carving into him with the precision of a blade. 

Bucky moved toward you instinctively, his hand reaching out. Before he could speak, you took a shaky step backward. He could see it then, the way your body was barely holding itself together, the exhaustion painted in every line of your face, the pain you were trying to hide. 

Sam was the first to break the silence. "Y-you alright?" he asked softly, his voice filled with worry, his brow creased as he took in your injuries.

You didn’t answer; it was a stupid question. Sam Wilson had eyes, did he not? You pressed your lips into a thin line, and your gaze shifted from Sam to Bucky.

“You didn’t think I could do it,” you said finally, your voice rough and broken from what had to have been hours of screaming or fighting. “So I went alone. I got it alone.”

Bucky’s heart pounded. Every part of him wanted to reach out, to say something—anything—that would make you understand. 

You swayed slightly, a tremor running through your legs, but you stubbornly held yourself up, refusing to let the pain break you. “You think I’m not ready for this,” you continued, your voice trembling with anger. “You think I can’t handle it. But I got the job done, didn’t I?”

Bucky flinched at the accusation. He’d spent days trapped in the fear that he’d lost, that his choices, his need to protect you, had driven you away for good. 

“Didn’t I?!” you repeated. And now, here you were, throwing it all back in his face, reminding him of every time he had second-guessed you, every time he’d tried to make decisions for you.

He couldn’t bring himself to respond. All he could do was stare at you as he took in the damage you’d suffered. It was my fault, he thought.

“I don’t need you,” you snapped at him.

He wanted to argue, to beg, to crumble before you and tell you how wrong he’d been. But all he could do was stand there, drowning in the horror of his own failure and the unbearable truth that you might mean it.

Yelena’s breath caught in her lungs, her composure cracking for just a moment as her eyes swept over the bruises, the cuts, the blood staining your skin. She winced, the sight hitting her harder than she’d expected, but she forced herself to keep looking. You deserved that—deserved to be seen, not turned away from like some broken thing. You deserved respect, even in your battered state, even when her gut twisted at the thought of what you’d endured, your mere presence demanded that she hold your gaze and acknowledge your strength. She was no longer going to threaten people behind your back to try and save you. If she had something to say, she would have to say it to your face. “I—”

“Don’t,” you snapped, your voice barely above a whisper, but it was enough to silence the room. You didn’t need her apologies, didn’t want her pity.

But your strength had limits. And as you stood there— the adrenaline finally crashing, your body sagging in the aftermath of the exhaustion— the toll of what you’d gone through catching up with you. 

Your knees buckled, and before anyone could react, you collapsed, your body crumpling to the floor.

Bucky was at your side in an instant, his arms slipping around you, supporting you as gently as he could despite his own shaking hands. He pressed his hand against the back of your head, his fingers in your hair as he whispered your name, his voice breaking. 

You were unconscious, breathing shallow, your face finally softening in the grip of sleep.

For a moment, no one spoke. Bucky’s gaze remained on you, his thumb gently tracing the line of a bruise on your cheek, his heart breaking as he truly saw the cost of what you’d done to prove yourself.

Sam stepped forward, his hand settling on Bucky’s shoulder. He didn't say anything, didn’t need to. Yelena hovered nearby, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, her eyes swimming in sadness that matched the guilt in her eyes.

As he held you, he vowed he would make it right. He didn’t know how, he knew that when you woke up—when you opened those furious eyes— he would be there. 

He wouldn’t run. He wouldn’t try to hide anything from you.

Because he’d learned, far too late, that you didn’t need protecting. You needed trust. 

And he would have to earn it back one step at a time.

-to be continued…

Taglist: @hzdhrtss @irisk12 @tayyyystan @seventeen-x 

@greatenthusiasttidalwave @avatarofthetimelords @bckynatt @winchestert101 @zemosprincesa 

@nngkay @hiireadstuff @sapphirebarnes @thatesqcrush @bethexo07 

@florie1 @nyutasgirl @coraliix @harrysgothicbitch @jules-and-gemss

@infqnitysblog @isnow-0r-never @roofwitty779 @baw1066 @wasalreadyhere

@cjand10 @greatmistakes @winterslove1917 @calwitch @sebastians-love

@gyllord @brckenmemories @ethereal-witch24 @diffidentphantom

@avatarofthetimelords @lumidotexe @oscarissac2099 @currentfacination @pono-pura-vida

@blackbirdwitch22 @royalwriteroftheuniverse @ayayaeyato @btssaysstudy @unaxv

@otterlycanadian @lifeisbutadream444 @mostlymarvelgirl @ozwriterchick @m1cky-y-y

@ordelixx @jadeofspadesxp @generousmiraclebread @jeremyrennermakesmesmile@titasweetandsour 

@one-lengthiness36 @chimchoom @waitingformysandman @eanthedeadqueen13 @hi172826

@starsmoonn @notsostrangerthing @wintercrows

@lomlbuckybarnes gets a special shout out for figuring it out🫡

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

I Would Choose You In Every Lifetime » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Best Friend!40s Bucky Barnes x Best Friend!Female Reader, Best Friend/TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Best Friend!Female Reader

Summary: Bucky would choose a lifetime with you over anything else.

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, language, best friends to lovers, crying, kissing, pet names

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

“Why do you insist on getting into fights?” You asked, cleaning blood off of Steve’s lip with a tissue.

“He started it.” Steve says like a child.

You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend and continued to clean the blood off of his lip and nose.

“What happened this time?” Bucky asks, walking in the alley.

“Nothing…” Steve answers, lying through his teeth.

Bucky knew he’d say that so he looked at you for the answer.

“Some guy was talking during the Army film and wouldn’t be quiet so him and Steve came back here to fight.” You tell him.

“I swear you like getting punched.” He says to Steve.

Steve rolled his eyes at Bucky.

“Did you get your orders?” Steve asks Bucky.

“The 107th, Sergeant James Barnes.” He answers with a proud smile.

“Oh my god! I’m so proud of you, Bucky!” You say, hugging him tightly.

Bucky smiles and hugs you back. You kissed his cheek before pulling away from the hug.

“I get shipped out tomorrow.” He tells you two.

The smile on your face faded away. You didn’t know he’d be getting shipped out this soon.

“Tomorrow?” You asked.

“I know it’s soon, but we can still spend the rest of today together.” Bucky says, handing a newspaper to Steve.

Steve read the top headline of the newspaper.

“Stark Expo.” Steve reads aloud.

“We’re going tonight and we got dates waiting for us.” Bucky says.

“You found a man for me?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, no. Sorry. I couldn’t find anyone for you, doll.” He apologizes.

“Oh. It’s ok.” You say.

“Come on. Let’s not keep the girls waiting.” He says, putting his arm around Steve’s shoulder.

You followed behind them. Truth be told, you were hoping that Bucky would ask you to be his date to the Stark Expo. You’ve had a crush on him for a while, but you don’t think he feels the same way about you.

When you three got to the Stark Expo, Bucky walked hand and hand with his date. He didn’t pay attention to you at all. Steve’s date paid little to no attention to him. You felt left out.

You stayed till Howard Stark displayed a floating car before walking out. You sat on the stairs in front of the building. Steve noticed you weren’t with him and Bucky anymore and went to find you. He found you crying on the stairs. He sat down next to you and gave you a tissue to dry your tears.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks softly with worry in his voice.

“I’m fine, Stevie.” You sniffled, lying through your teeth.

“No you’re not. Talk to me.” He says softly.

You fiddled with the tissue for a short moment before answering him.

“I’ve had a crush on Bucky for a while now and he brought a date with him. I was hoping he’d ask me to be his date to this, but he didn’t. He’s leaving tomorrow and he won’t know I’m in love with him.” You tell Steve. “I don’t even know if he feels the same way about me.” You added.

“Tell him. I’m sure he feels the same way.” He says.

“How?” You looked at Steve. “He’s with that girl.” You say.

Steve thought about it for a moment when he thought of something.

“I’ll be right back.” He says, standing up and walking away.

Steve walked back to the building. Bucky walked out of the door at the same time Steve approached it.

“I was wondering where you were.” Bucky says. “Where were you?” He asks.

“Comforting Y/N.” Steve answers. “She’s upset.” He says.

“Why’s she upset?” He asks.

“I think you should hear it from her.” He says. “She’s sitting on the stairs.” He tells him.

Bucky nodded and made his way to you. He heard your sniffles from a couple feet away. He sat down next to you on the stairs.

“Steve told me you’re upset. What’s wrong?” Bucky asks softly.

“What do you care? You have a girl with you tonight.” You say.

Bucky frowned. You’ve never talked to him like this. Even when you’re upset about something.

“What’s wrong?” He asks again.

“You wouldn’t care even if I told you.” You say.

“Never say that again. I care about you and you know it. Steve knows it too.” He says.

You lifted your head and looked at Bucky.

“If you cared, you wouldn’t have asked another girl to be your date to this thing.” You say.

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Bucky asks.

You scoffed before answering him.

“You barely paid attention to me tonight! It’s like I’m invisible to you.” You said, raising your voice a little bit. “You’re leaving for the Army tomorrow and you can’t you see that I’m in love with you!” You blurted out.

Bucky’s eyes went wide when you confessed your love to him.

“You’re in love with me?” He asks, making sure he heard you right.

“What does it matter?” You asked. “It’s not like you feel the same way about me.” You mumbled loud enough for him to hear.

“It does matter.” He said. “Cause I’m in love with you too.” He confesses.

“You don’t mean it. You’re going to meet some nurse in the Army and fall in love with her.” You say before standing up.

Bucky was quick to stand up and grabbed your arm before you could walk away from him.

“Let go of me, James.” You said, trying to tug your arm out of his firm grip.

“Don’t do this, doll. I don’t want to spend my last day with you mad at me.” Bucky says.

“You don’t love me.” You said.

Instead of saying anything, Bucky kisses you passionately, catching you off guard. You kissed him back.

“I do love you, doll. You just won’t believe it.” He says softly, putting his forehead against yours and looking in your teary eyes.

You gazed in his beautiful blue eyes and caressed his cheek. Bucky leaned into your touch.

“Go fight for our country and try not to die, Buck.” You almost whispered with tears rolling down your cheeks.

Bucky slowly let go of you. He watched you walk away with a couple tears escaping his eyes. You didn’t want to do this, but you had to. Your heart broke into a million pieces as you walked away. Bucky felt like someone ripped his heart out of his chest and crushed it in their bare hands. You walked away knowing that you’re in love with one of your best friends and you don’t believe he’s in love with you.

70+ YEARS LATER…

Bucky can still hear the last words you said to him before he got shipped off to the Army. “Go fight for our country and try not to die.” are the only words being echoed in his mind. He felt like he failed you. He wishes that he poured his heart and soul out to you to confess his love for you, but you could only see him with girls who aren’t you. That’s something Bucky regrets… going on dates with girls who aren’t you. He should’ve asked you to be his doll forever when he had the chance.

“Bucky?” Sam says, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” Bucky asks, looking at Sam.

“You ok?” He asks. “You looked like you were in a trance.” He says.

“Yea, I’m fine.” He says.

Bucky isn’t fine and Sam knows it.

“I know me and you don’t know each other like you and Steve did, but you can talk to me about it if you want.” Sam says.

Bucky looks down at his lap, fiddling with his fingers. He was quiet for a moment before saying anything.

“It’s about someone from my past… a girl.” Bucky finally spoke up.

“Was she your girlfriend or wife or something?” Sam asks curiously.

“No.” He answers. “Her name is Y/N and she was mine and Steve’s girl best friend.” He tells him. “Her and I got into a fight the night before I got shipped out to the Army.” He says.

“What was the fight about?” He asks.

“She was in love with me, but I was too stupid to pay her any attention that night and I asked another girl to be my date to Howard Stark’s Expo.” He explains. “I tried to tell her that I was in love with her, but she was too upset to believe me. Her last words to me were-” Bucky felt himself getting choked up on his words and took a deep breath before continuing his sentence. “Go fight for our country and try not to die.” He tells him, his voice cracking.

“Are you still in love with her?” Sam asks.

“I never stopped loving her.” Bucky said. “She wouldn’t believe me, even if she was alive.” He says.

“I’m sorry, man.” He says sincerely, patting his shoulder.

Bucky gave Sam a small smile before standing up and went to get some fresh air to clear his mind. He walked down the streets of New York with the light fall breeze blowing with his hands in his jacket pockets. He was walking past a coffee shop when he looked up and stopped in his tracks and seen someone- a woman from his past… you, working behind the counter at the coffee shop.

“Holy shit…” Bucky mumbles to himself.

Bucky entered the coffee shop at the same time you looked up from the cash register, making eye contact with him. He felt his heart skip a beat and your eyes went wide. Neither of you could believe what you two were seeing. Bucky stared at you like he just seen a ghost. You were staring at him with the same look on your face. You motioned one of your coworkers to the register before you walked over to Bucky. Bucky’s eyes never left you for a second. Yours didn’t leave him either. You two stared at each other in silence, not knowing what to say to each other.

“Do you umm- want some coffee?” You asked, remembering that you’re at work.

“Yes, that would be nice.” Bucky answers softly. “You know what I like.” He says.

You smiled and nodded your head before going to get him a coffee. Bucky sat down at a nearby table and patiently waited for you.

“Who’s the hot guy you were talking to?” One of the baristas asks.

“One of my guy best friends.” You answered quietly.

“Is he single?” She curiously asks.

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at her.

“He’s yours. Got it.” She says before going back to work.

You put the lid on the cup and walked over to the table Bucky was sitting at. You put the coffee in front of him and sat down across from him. Bucky tapped his fingers against the paper cup and you fiddled with your fingers.

“How are you?” You asked after a short moment.

Bucky stopped tapping his fingers against the cup and looked at you. He wasn’t sure how to answer that question without getting upset.

“I’m good.” Bucky finally answers. “How are you?” He asks.

“I’m good too.” You answered.

Bucky nodded and took a sip of his coffee. You opened your mouth to say something, but one of your coworkers told you to get back to work. You took a pen out of your pocket and grabbed a napkin, writing your phone number and address.

“Here’s my phone number and address. I get off of work at 2:30pm.” You tell him.

“Ok.” He says.

You and Bucky stood up at the same time. He watched you walk back behind the counter, going back to work. Bucky smiles before leaving.

When it came time for the end of your shift, you finally went home. When you got home, you seen Bucky sitting on the front steps of your small house. It may not be much, but you call it home.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” You say, walking to your front door.

“I’ll always come if it’s you. You know that.” Bucky smiles.

There is was again… the awkward silence.

“Let’s go inside.” You say.

“That would be nice.” He says.

You unlocked the door and walked inside of your house. Bucky followed behind you, closing the door behind him. Bucky took a look around while you took your jacket off and set your things down. He smiles when he seen pictures of you and your parents hung up on the walls. His heart skipped a beat when he seen a few pictures of you, him, and Steve on the wall.

“I suppose you want answers.” You say from behind him.

“Yes I do.” He says.

You and Bucky went to the living room and sat down on the couch so the two of you can talk.

“Let’s start with why you never told me or even Steve that you were alive.” Bucky says, getting straight to the point.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized. “I should’ve reached out to one of you, but I was scared to.” You say.

“What have you could possibly be scared of?” He asks.

“HYDRA finding me.” You say.

Bucky felt his heart drop and his eyes widened when you said HYDRA.

“HYDRA got their hands on you?” Bucky asks, making sure he heard you right.

“Yes.” You nodded.

“When?” He asks.

“Shortly after you… you know.” You say, referring to when he fell off of the train in 1945.

Bucky’s jaw clenched at the thought of HYDRA getting their hands on you.

“What did they do to you?” He asks.

“Experimented different kinds of Super Soldier serums on me. None of them worked, except for one. It’s the one that worked for you and Steve.” You explained. “They put me through so many experiments. It hurt so bad.” Bucky didn’t miss the way your voice cracked. “I couldn’t take it anymore, Bucky. So I finally found the best opportunity to escape and I haven’t looked back since then.” You say.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks at this point. Bucky immediately wrapped his arms around you. You melted into his touch like you used to do.

He was ready to start questioning why you didn’t reach out to him sooner, but that’s the furthest thing on his mind.

“I’m so sorry, doll.” Bucky apologizes softly.

“It’s not your fault, Bucky. You didn’t know.” You say and sniffled.

“I could’ve done something. I could’ve looked for you.” He says.

“You are doing something now. You’re holding me.” You say, looking up at him.

Bucky looks down at you. He seen a sparkle in your eyes through the tears. It’s the sparkle he always seen when you guys were younger. He hasn’t seen it in years. It made him smile when he seen it.

“I meant what I said the night before I left for the Army. I am in love with you. I have been for years.” Bucky tells you.

You could tell he meant it this time. Unlike the last time he said it.

You gazed in his beautiful blue eyes, getting easily lost in them. Your eyes drifted down to his lips. His lips look soft. You wondered to yourself if they were still as soft as the night he kissed you before he left for the Army. You leaned in and so did Bucky. It felt like everything was in slow motion when your lips met his. You two felt that same spark and passion from that night years ago.

Your hands grasped onto his shirt, clutching the fabric in your hands. Bucky’s right hand gently caressed your cheek. You two were lost in the kiss. There was so much passion in the kiss that it took your breaths away. You two finally pulled away, gazing in each other’s eyes breathlessly.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized, almost whispering. “I shouldn’t have let that night end like that. We should’ve ended that night on something good.” You murmured softly.

“That doesn’t matter anymore. As long as we’re together now, everything is going to be the way it should be.” Bucky softly says.

“I love you, Buck.” You say to him for the first time in years.

“I love you too, doll.” His thumb softly rubbed against the skin of your cheek. “I would choose you in every lifetime.” He whispers.

A smile grew on your lips. You softly and sweetly kissed him. Bucky smiles against your lips.

“I would choose you in every lifetime too.” You tell him.

“Does this mean you’re my doll now?” He asks in a whisper.

“Oh, Bucky…” You whispered, lifting a hand to caress his bearded cheek. “I’ve always been yours. Forever and always.” You tell him softly.

“Forever and always.” He whispers, kissing you once more.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[scoonsalicious]

2/Unquestioning

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Pocket!Reader

Summary: Family is complicated. Family is messy. Family is what you make it.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mention of sexual situations.

Word Count: 1.3k

Previously On...: Your relationship with Bucky has made public news, and Bucky made a very specific request.

A/N: Consider this chapter a bit of a refresher for where our girl is at mentally atm. As stories often do, this ended up kind of derailing on me, so we're not quite where I planned for us to be, but we will get there!

Banner by my beloved @mrsbuckybarnes1917; poor recolor by me.

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

You blinked at him, sure you must have misheard his words. “I… what?”

Bucky chuckled softly at the look of confusion in your eyes. “I know it’s not a proper proposal,” he admitted sheepishly, “and I’ll make sure you get one, but, well… yeah, marry me, doll.” 

The expression on his face was so adoring, so open, his words should have melted you right on the spot. Instead, you leapt from his lap and began pacing in front of him, hands fisting through your hair as you tried to calm your breathing. 

“Pocket?” Bucky reached for you, pulling you to a stop in front of him. “Sweetheart, what… what’s wrong? It’s what we both want… isn’t it?”

You knew he was speaking to you, could see his mouth moving, forming words, but you weren’t hearing what he was saying to you now– you could only replay in your head what he had said to you then:

“You don’t have to decide anything right now, sweetheart. I’m not tryin’ pressure you into anything. And I wouldn’t want kids until after we were married for a little bit, anyway. It’s just… somethin’ I’ve been thinkin’ about.”

The words had sounded so sweet then, too, but they’d turned out to be nothing more than pretty lies, spoken to distract you, to keep you from finding out he had slept with someone else, that he had betrayed you. 

You knew it was irrational, that he had gone above and beyond to prove himself, and his commitment, to you, but as your breaths came in increasingly desperate gasps, the only thought that was repeatedly running through your head was What is he trying to distract me from, now? 

Bucky stood up, concern evident across his features as he cupped your face in his hands. “Doll,” he said, his voice filled with unending love and patience as he took you in, “it is what you want, right? Sweets, talk to me.”

You moved your hands to cover his as they rested on your cheeks, your eyes wide and desperate as they sought comfort in his. “Tell me this isn’t like the last time, Buck,” you exhalled. “Promise me, this is nothing like the last time.”

His eyes narrowed in confusion. “The last time? Pocket, what do you– oh.” Revelation dawned on him as he realized what you were referring to, and he shook his head, desperate to dispel the hurt he saw in your eyes. “Oh, Sweets. Oh, fuck, honey, no.” Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, then to each of your eyes, and across your face to punctuate his words. “No, this is nothing like the last time, I promise. Fuck, baby, I am so sorry.” 

He pulled you against his chest and held you, flesh hand running up and down the column of your spine in an effort to stop your hyperventilating. 

“No, Buck,” you hicupped as you got your breathing under control once again, “I’m the one who’s sorry. I just…”

“Hey,” he gently shushed, pulling back from you so he could look you in the eye, “you have nothing to apologize for, doll. Trust me.” He lowered himself back down on the chaise, taking you with him as pulled you into his lap. “I shouldn’t have sprung that on you outta nowhere like that.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to marry you, Buck,” you said as you played with the dog tags around his neck, ear pressed to his chest so you could hear his heartbeat, “because I do. I just…”

“You’re scared I’m gonna fuck up again,” he supplied matter of factly. There was no accusation in his voice, no resentment for your lingering doubts. “That I’m going to hurt you again.”

“I don’t want to be,” you admitted. “I love you more than anything, Bucky. So much that it scares me. I… I couldn’t survive something like that again.” It wasn’t an accusation or an admonishment, but your implication hung clearly in the air between you: you might have been able to forgive, but you were never going to be able to truly forget.

“I’m never gonna stop tryin’ to make it up to you, Sweets,” Bucky offered, and you were so, so grateful for his understanding. “And when I ask you to marry me, for real, you’re gonna know that it’s because I want to sprend the rest of my life with you. Not because I’m hiding something, or afraid I might lose you, but because I wanna be tied to you in every way a man can be, forever. You’re my family, doll, and I’m not making the same mistakes with you twice.”

You closed your eyes and let out a slow exhale, the tension draining from your body at his words. Even before you had broken up last year, marriage hadn’t been something the two of you had discussed– you hadn’t really been together long enough for it to become a serious topic of conversation, but the honest truth of the matter was that you couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone else. 

And yet…

There was still something he didn’t know, something you’d been keeping from him that might make him completely change his mind about wanting to be with you. You’d had ample opportunities to tell him over the last several months, since you’d learned for ceratain, yet something had always held you back, kept you from sharing it with him– the fear that if he knew, he’d no longer want you.

There was a stunning clarity to the realization in that moment– you were behaving no differently than he had when he had crept back into your bed after sleeping with Carthage. No, you’d not been with someone else; you’d not betrayed him, but you weren’t being honest with him. Like he had when he first brought up getting married all those months ago, you were too afraid of losing him to tell him the truth, to let him make an informed decision. 

And you hated yourself for it.

Sensing a shift in your bearing, Bucky nudged you back to attention with his nose against yours. “What are you thinking, pretty girl?”

You swallowed. “There’s… there’s something I need to tell you, Buck,” you admitted, struggling to keep eye contact. “But I’m scared.”

“Mmmm,” Bucky hummed knowingly. “Does it have to do with what got you so upset, that time we were on the video call?”

You nodded, the skin of your cheek rubbing against the fabric of his shirt.

“I still mean what I said then, doll,” Bucky said, kissing your temple, “you don’t have to tell me anything until you’re ready. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.”

God, you hoped that would still be the case when you finally did get the courage to tell him.

“I want you to know,” you admitted, some of the anxiety leaking out of you with how understanding he was being. “I do. I just… I don’t know how to. Not yet, anyway.”

He brushed the hair back from your face and cupped the back of your head in his large hand. “That’s okay. Wait until you do know. I never want you to feel like I’m forcing you to do something you’re not one hundred percent comfortable doing. I’m done putting you in those kinds of positions.”

You let out a contented sigh. “I’m so lucky to have you, you know that, right?” you asked him.

Bucky smiled. “Nah, Sweets– I’m the lucky one. I never used to believe in luck before, but now, I think about all the things in my life that had to go just so in order to bring me to you, in order for you to give me this second chance, and I think I must be the luckiest man alive.”

Wrapping your arms around his midsection, you let yourself snuggle further into his broad chest. As far as you were concerned, you were both the lucky ones, to have come together, despite all the odds stacked against you. 

You just hoped that, once he learned the truth, he still felt the same way.

<- Previous / Next ->

[yourmidnightlover]

with all the dancing with the stars blowing up…

SOMEONE NEEDS to write bucky barnes falling in love with the pro he’s assigned to. like maybe he’s doing the show for better press? IDK BUT IT NEEDS TO BE WORKSHOPPED

[bxbyjupiter]

Embers of Hope

Pairing: Wakanda!Bucky x FOC

Summary: In the tranquil isolation of Wakanda, Bucky Barnes confronts the weight of his trauma while forging a reluctant bond with a mysterious woman aiding his recovery. As her own devastating secret emerges, their shared struggles ignite a fragile hope for redemption and resilience in the face of insurmountable odds.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Discussions of trauma and PTSD. References to past abuse, terminal illness, grief, and loss.

Notes: Anora is a character I've been playing with for years now and this is the first thing I'm ever publishing anything of her. So, I hope someone likes it at least! This is also barely proofread so, SORRY!!

The fire crackled between them, casting long, dancing shadows across the Wakandan plains. Bucky Barnes sat quietly, elbows on his knees, staring into the flames. The weight of his past always hung heavy on his shoulders, even in the tranquil beauty of Wakanda. It was quieter here, and with Shuri's help, he was beginning to peel away the layers of control Hydra had left embedded in him. Slowly. Painfully.

Across from him, Anora sat cross-legged, poking at the embers with a long stick. She always seemed to be near, watching him with an air of casual observation that made him uncomfortable and oddly comforted all at once. Shuri had introduced her as an assistant, someone who helped with his treatment, but he didn’t understand why she lingered when the sessions were done.

“Why do you sit out here with me?” he asked suddenly, his voice cutting through the crackle of the fire.

Anora glanced up, startled for a moment. Her face softened as she leaned back, resting her palms in the cool grass behind her. “I told you. I promised Steve I’d look after you.”

Bucky let out a dry chuckle. “You’ve told me that before. And maybe Steve would send someone to check in on me now and then, but not like this. You’ve been here for months.”

For a moment, the only sound was the crackling fire. Then, Anora let out a long breath, leaning back against the rock she was perched on. Her face softened, a trace of vulnerability slipping through the stoic facade she usually wore. Anora sighed, tossing the stick into the flames. She looked away, her gaze fixed on the horizon. Her shoulders stiffened, but when she turned back to him, her face held an openness he hadn’t seen before.

“I’m sick, Bucky,” she said finally, her voice quiet but clear.

Bucky blinked, straightening. “Sick?”

She nodded. “Dying, actually.”

Bucky’s breath hitched, and for a moment, he didn’t know what to say. “Dying?”

Anora nodded, her gaze steady. “It started before I was even born.” She leaned forward, clasping her hands together as she stared into the fire. “My father… he was a geneticist. Brilliant. Obsessive. When my mother got pregnant, they found out I wasn’t going to make it. Something about my DNA. I wasn’t viable—wouldn’t survive outside the womb. My father wasn’t willing to accept that, so he tried to fix me. Tried to make me...more.”

Her voice cracked, but she pressed on.

“Whatever he did worked. I was born alive. But it changed me. I have...abilities. I can do things no one else can. But the stronger that grew, the weaker I became. My body is breaking down. It’s killing me. Turns out my dad’s ‘miracle cure’ wasn’t a cure at all. It was a patch job, and the patch started falling apart.”

The fire popped, sending sparks spiraling into the dark sky. Bucky stared at her, his jaw tight, his mind trying to process her words.

“You’ve...you’ve tried to fix it, right? You’ve seen people?” he asked, his voice low.

Anora let out a bitter laugh. “Tony Stark. Bruce Banner. Some of the smartest minds in the world have had a go at me, but no one can figure it out. They all tried. And they all failed. My father’s work was too dangerous, too complex, too unpredictable. Whatever he did, no one can undo it.”

“And Wakanda?” Bucky asked, gesturing around them.

She shrugged. “Last resort. This is the last place on Earth that might actually have the technology to fix me. If Shuri can’t help me, then...that’s it. Game over.” 

Bucky’s stomach churned. He’d been so focused on his own battles, his own trauma, that he hadn’t noticed the quiet war she was fighting.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked softly.

Anora smiled faintly, a sad, tired smile. “Because you’re dealing with enough, Bucky. You don’t need to carry my burdens, too. Besides, I promised Steve I’d watch over you. And I keep my promises.”

He looked at her, really looked at her, and for the first time, he saw the exhaustion in her eyes, the fragility in her frame.

“You’re watching over me while you’re dying?” he asked incredulously.

She shrugged again, her smile turning wry. “Steve never said I couldn’t multitask.” 

Bucky let out a huff of disbelief, shaking his head.

“Look, I don’t know if I’ll make it out of this alive,” Anora admitted. “But if I don’t, at least I’ll know I tried everything. I’ll know I didn’t quit.”

Bucky nodded slowly.

The fire crackled between them, a tenuous connection in the vast darkness. For the first time in years, Bucky felt the stirrings of something unfamiliar—hope. If Anora could fight her battle, maybe he could fight his, too. And maybe, just maybe, they could win. Together.

____

The fire burned low, casting long shadows across the clearing as the night deepened. Bucky Barnes sat on a worn log, his jaw clenched so tightly the muscles in his face looked carved from stone. Sweat slicked his skin despite the cool night air, and his hands gripped the edge of the log with enough force to splinter the wood.

Shuri moved slowly around him, her voice steady and melodic as she chanted the words Hydra had drilled into his mind—words that once had the power to turn him into the Winter Soldier. Her tone was calm but firm, unwavering in its rhythm, testing the waters of Bucky’s psyche.

Anora stood a few feet behind Shuri, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched the scene unfold. Her usually composed expression was drawn tight, her dark eyes darting between Shuri and Bucky. She knew this process was necessary, but seeing the strain etched on Bucky’s face made her chest tighten.

Shuri’s voice rose slightly, the words filling the space between them. “Zhelaniye. Rzhavyy. Pugalo…”

Bucky’s head jerked as if struck, his breathing growing heavier. His metal hand twitched, the plates shifting with an audible clink.

Anora shifted her weight, her fingers curling into fists at her sides. She’d been warned not to intervene, that Shuri’s process required no interruptions. But standing there, watching Bucky endure this torment, made her feel helpless in a way she wasn’t used to.

Shuri’s chant continued, her voice unwavering. “Dobyeg. Odin. Gruzovik…”

Bucky growled low in his throat, his human hand coming up to clutch his head. His breaths came in shallow gasps now, and his eyes squeezed shut as if he could force the words out of his mind.

Anora took an unconscious step forward, her boots crunching softly against the dirt.

“Stay back,” Shuri said sharply, her eyes never leaving Bucky. “He must face this.”

Anora froze, her pulse pounding in her ears. She’d heard the stories—how these words had controlled him, reduced him to a weapon. But seeing the fight in real time was different. Bucky wasn’t the Winter Soldier. He wasn’t some mindless killer. He was Bucky Barnes, a man clawing his way out of the darkness.

Shuri reached the final word, her voice strong and deliberate. “Rassvet.”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence. The jungle seemed to hold its breath, the only sound the faint crackle of the fire and Bucky’s labored breathing. His head hung low, his shoulders trembling.

Anora stepped forward, her concern outweighing her caution. “Bucky?”

He didn’t respond. His hand flexed once, twice, then stilled. Slowly, he raised his head, his blue eyes locking on hers.

“I’m fine,” he rasped, though his voice was raw and strained.

Anora didn’t look convinced. “You don’t look fine.”

Shuri stepped closer, her brow furrowing as she studied him. “He resisted the words,” she said, a note of pride in her voice. “They hold no power over him anymore.”

Bucky exhaled shakily, running a hand through his hair. “Feels like they still do,” he muttered.

“But they don’t,” Shuri said firmly. “This is progress, Sergeant Barnes.”

Anora crouched down in front of him, her expression softening. “She’s right, you know. You fought it, and you won.”

Bucky shook his head slightly. “Feels like I’m barely hanging on.”

“Maybe,” Anora said quietly. “But you are hanging on. That’s what matters.”

They sat there for a moment, the firelight flickering between them. Bucky’s breathing gradually steadied, and the tension in his shoulders began to ease.

Shuri turned to Anora, her expression thoughtful. “He’s not the only one fighting a battle here,” she said. “You could learn from his resilience.”

Anora straightened, her gaze flicking to Shuri. “This isn’t about me.”

“Perhaps not tonight,” Shuri said with a small smile. “But soon.”

Anora didn’t respond, her jaw tightening as she stepped back, letting Shuri take the lead again. But as she watched Bucky stand, shaky but steady, she felt a flicker of hope.

Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for both of them to win their battles.

_____

The Wakandan lab was bathed in a cool, sterile light that hummed softly, casting faint reflections on the sleek, vibranium-infused equipment surrounding Anora. She sat in the recliner at the center of it all, her fingers gripping the armrests as Shuri and her team worked around her. Her eyes closed, trying to focus on anything but the faint burn creeping through her veins. The IV line ran from a small, advanced device into her arm, delivering the serum meant to slow her impending death. 

Shuri’s voice was gentle, but there was no hiding the weight of her words as she double-checked the monitors. “This serum… it’s not a cure, Anora,” she said softly, her eyes filled with empathy. “We can’t promise it will fix everything. But it may slow the progression. It’ll buy us time, and time is something we don’t have much of.”

Anora nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She could feel the serum starting to enter her bloodstream, the faintest heat trailing from the needle at her arm. It wasn’t unbearable, but it was enough to remind her of what was happening inside her. A burning reminder of the ticking clock she’d been living with for as long as she could remember.

The burn was subtle, almost like a low ember smoldering in her skin, but it was enough to make her fingers twitch involuntarily. She buried the discomfort, pushing it aside with the same stoicism she had learned to wear like armor. This wasn’t the time to show weakness—not in front of Shuri, not in front of anyone.

“Thank you, Shuri,” Anora said quietly, her voice rough but sincere. She didn’t know what else to say. The hope this serum represented felt fragile, like glass she was too scared to hold too tightly.

Shuri gave her a small, reassuring smile. “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Just remember—if it starts to feel too intense, tell us immediately.”

Anora simply nodded again.

As Shuri stepped back to review the data with her team, the quiet hiss of the IV and the soft hum of the lab filled the air. Anora closed her eyes, letting herself drift into her thoughts, when the sound of approaching footsteps pulled her back to the present.

“Mind if I sit with you?”

Her eyes opened, and she turned her head to see Bucky standing at the entrance to the lab. His expression was guarded, as usual, but there was a flicker of something softer in his blue eyes.

Anora blinked in surprise. “You don’t have to.”

“I know,” Bucky said simply, stepping inside. He grabbed a nearby stool and dragged it closer to her recliner before sitting down. “But I want to.”

She studied him for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Finally, she settled back against the recliner, her voice quiet. “Suit yourself.”

For a few minutes, neither of them spoke. Bucky’s gaze flicked over the machines, the IV, and finally to Anora’s face. She was pale but composed, her expression unreadable.

“You going to tell me what’s going on?” he asked finally.

Anora’s jaw tightened, and she looked away, her eyes fixed on the sleek ceiling above them. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“That’s not an answer.”

She let out a short, humorless laugh. “Since when do I owe you answers?”

Bucky leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You don’t,” he admitted. “But I know something’s wrong. And if you think I’m just going to sit around and ignore it, you don’t know me very well.”

Anora glanced at him, her dark eyes sharp. “You have enough on your plate, Barnes. Focus on yourself.”

“Funny,” he said, his voice tinged with sarcasm. “I seem to remember someone telling me I wasn’t alone in my fight last night. Guess that only works one way, huh?”

Her lips pressed into a thin line, but she didn’t respond.

Bucky sighed, leaning back. “Look, I’m not here to push you. But whatever’s happening, you don’t have to go through it alone. I know what that’s like, and it sucks.”

For a long moment, Anora stayed silent. The serum’s burn had intensified slightly, but she refused to show it. She wouldn’t let Bucky see her weakness—not now.

“You’re stubborn,” she said finally, her voice softer than before.

“Yeah, well, takes one to know one,” Bucky shot back with a small smirk.

Despite herself, a faint smile tugged at her lips. She shook her head, letting out a quiet sigh. “Fine. You can stay. But don’t expect me to hold your hand or anything.”

Bucky chuckled softly, the sound almost surprising in its warmth. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence after that, the tension in the air easing slightly. Bucky didn’t press her for more answers, and Anora didn’t offer any. But his presence was steady, grounding in a way she hadn’t expected.

As the serum continued its slow, burning crawl through her veins, Anora allowed herself a rare moment of vulnerability, closing her eyes and letting the quiet of the lab, and Bucky’s silent support, carry her through.

[buckyalpine]

CEO Bucky takes his anger out on his secretary (ft smut)

Imagine CEO!Bucky accidently taking his anger out on his already stressed out secretary. He gets mean and you will deal with it because I wanted this angst turned smut to go from chest itching to stomach fluttering. 

-

Your stomach twisted in knots looking at the pile of papers you had stacked on your desk, the phone still ringing while new messages popped up in your email inbox every 5 minutes. The files had to be organized by the next meeting and the number on the phone display was one you couldn’t ignore. The back to back messages were from various investors, each person insisting they were a priority over the others. You kept the receiver between your ear and shoulder, your hands flying around your desk madly between papers and tapping your keyboard. 

You quickly added a few more meetings to the calendar before hurrying to your bosses office to remind him of one he had later that afternoon. You hesitated before knocking at the door, the closed doors indicating he was busy, but you knew he’d want a heads up about the meeting. 

“Mr. Barnes, you have a meeting with Stark Enterprises at 3:30-

“Didn’t I tell you to move this meeting to next week?” Bucky snapped, blue eyes glaring at you while you blinked in confusion. “Well?” 

“N-no” You shook your head, you’d never missed an email before and you’d always been on top of scheduling changes on time. Bucky mumbled something under his breath before waving you off, the shrill sound of his phone going off. 

“Barnes” Bucky grunted, answering the phone without looking back at you, leaving to you scramble away and figure out if you could rearrange the date with Tony Stark. 

Which was a mess in itself. 

You had to argue back and forth, pleading to no end for a different day with Starks assistant only reluctantly agreeing after nearly half an hour. 

“You really should be more responsible, can’t believe Barnes has the likes of you working under him” the woman on the phone clicked her tongue before slamming down the receiver, cutting the call. You sighed, taking in a deep breath to calm the tightness you felt in your throat, you didn’t have time to break down now. 

You printed the up coming contracts for Bucky to sign, organizing them by name and highlighting the places he had to sign so he didn’t have to bother finding the space for signatures. You scurried back into his office, dreading the tense click of his jaw, your nerves increasing even more. 

“Sir, these are your papers-” You stumbled over the corner of the rug, scattering the papers onto the floor, your heart hammering out of your chest when you saw Bucky irritatedly run his fingers through his hair. 

“For fucks sake, y/n, I’m already stressed, don’t screw more shit up!” He growled, eyes hardening at the sight of the papers strewn across the floor of his office while you stayed frozen on the spot. Your eyes glossed over, quickly scrambling to the floor to grab the documents, mumbling apologies over and over again, hoping none of your tears stained the paper. The sight of tears streaking down your face broke Bucky out of his frustrated state, instantly regretting the tone he’d used with you. 

“Fuck” Bucky cursed under his breath, getting out of his chair to help you but you’d already managed to pick everything up, immediately trying to scramble away.

“Y/n” 

You didn’t stop, unable to take more of Bucky’s wrath, continuing to hurry towards the door, desperately trying to hold down your sniffles and aggressively wiping your cheeks. 

“Y/n” 

Bucky sighed, gently reaching out to grab your arm and pulling you to face him, his feeling even worse when you kept your eyes trained on the floor, your arms wrapped around yourself. 

“I’m sorry, p-please d-on’t yell” You choked out, still trying to hold your composure together, fighting the way your body wanted to break down into sobs 

“It’s okay. I’m sorry, I’m sorry” his heart broke seeing the tears collecting in your lash line, his thumb swiping away the ones that spilled out. “M’sorry baby” he wasn’t sure where the pet name came from but he couldn’t help it, letting it naturally roll off his tongue. You were still rigid, refusing to look at him, nearly flinching when he pulled you closer, tilting your chin up to meet his steel blues. 

“Look at me” He spoke softly now, as if he were trying to coax a small animal out of hiding, his touch gentle, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you”

“It’s okay” you shrugged, slipping out of his hold, quickly wiping your face and going back to work as if nothing had happened. Even though he’d apologized, his words rang through your mind for the rest of the day. 

In fact, they stuck with you through the entire week. 

Bucky hated the way you didn’t even look at him anymore. He missed your soft good mornings and shy smile whenever he walked into his office. Now all you did was keep your head down, freezing in fear as soon as you heard his footsteps. And it was all his fault. 

He despised that he made you feel scared of him, his own anger being the cause of upsetting you when you had been nothing but sweet from the day he’d met you. You were also the best he’d ever had; no one else had ever come close to how brilliantly you worked; you never missed anything. He nearly spat out the coffee that was placed on his table, missing the perfect cup you made for him every morning. 

You only spoke 1-2 words, retreating from his office as soon as you got what you needed, your eyes always trained on the floor, looking away from him. He couldn’t take it anymore, feeling more guilty each day; he couldn’t go on any longer without your sweetness. 

You blinked at the baby pink roses that sat in a basket on your desk along with a little bear placed on top, a small hand made I’m Sorry heart sitting in its furry hands, clearly in Bucky’s handwriting. You traced over the soft teddy holding it in your hands before going to his office. Before you could say anything, Bucky was up and out of his seat, desperately hoping you’d hear him out. 

“M’sorry y/n” His soft eyes were filled with sadness and regret as he reached out to hold your hands in his, not wanting you to run off again, “I’m so sorry angel, there’s no excuse, I shouldn’t have yelled at you” 

“It’s fine” You whispered, still avoiding his gaze. 

“Hey, it’s not fine” Bucky shook his head, cupping your face to make you look at him, “It’s not baby, I shouldn’t have ever treated you that way. You do everything for me, I shouldn’t have taken out my anger on you” 

“I shouldn’t have messed u-

“Don’t, absolutely not. You never do sweets, it was me who messed up. Never you. Will you forgive me, doll?” Bucky nervously bit his lip while you gave him a small nod, that adorable shy smile he loved so much making its way to your lips. 

“God, I missed this” He whispered, his thumb tracing over your lips, chuckling at the tiny confused pout you gave him after.

“What did you miss” 

“This little smile you always have whenever you’re around me” Bucky smirked at the way you grew more bashful, doe eyes darting about, “Do you have any idea how much I love when you look at me like that?” 

“Mr-Mr. Barnes” Your breath hitched in your throat as his hands slowly moved to hold your waist, pulling you closer. Your hands made their way to his chest to ground yourself, forgetting how to breathe as he pressed his lips against yours. It started off soft and slow; his sweet tongue turning sinful as he walked over to his chair, pulling you to straddle him without breaking apart once. You let out a needy whimper feeling him harden under you though Bucky was still focused on kissing your soft skin, his lips fluttering across every inch. 

You’d never been this close to Bucky before, the intoxicating scent of his cologne making your heart race, his calloused large hands roaming your body. You hadn’t even realized you were grinding down on his thick bulge until he let out a groan, stilling your hips. 

“Keep that up bunny and you’ll make me cum in my pants like a little boy” Bucky let out a strained chuckle, using every bit of his self restraint not to tear your clothes off. 

“Please?” You wiggled against him again, needing to be closer, Bucky’s resolve slowly crumbling. How could he hold back when you were practically humping your soaked needy cunt right on his erection. 

“Please what, sweets” 

“Need you Sir” your voice had melted in a whine and that was all it took. The sound of his belt buckle hitting the floor caused more arousal to dampen your panties, nearly drooling at the sight of his cock as he pulled it out. 

“Are-are you sure?” He checked with you once more, not wasting a second ripping your blouse off as soon as you nodded. He threw your bra off next before lifting your skirt up and pulling your panties to the, rubbing his fingers through your folds. 

“Sir, pleasee” 

“I got you, I got you baby. Wanted to make love for our first time angel, give you a bed with rose petals n’ champagne over ice” He whispered, recounting every fantasy he’d thought of from the day he’d met you, “Wanted to make you feel good baby, throw your legs over my shoulders and nurse off this little clit”

He rubbed your sensitive bundle of nerves, continuing. 

“N’ then you’d be my sweet pillow princess. I’d let you lie down all night while I fuck your soul angel. I’d give you my cum all night, pump you full of my cream” 

“Need you now” You whimpered, clutching onto the lapels of his blazer, not that you didn’t want everything he was telling you but you couldn't wait. 

“Alright baby, c’mere” He pulled you closer, your bare chest pressed against his as he rubbed his swollen cockhead to gather your slick before breeching your tight hole, his hips gently pushing up till he was buried to the hilt, “That’s it, shhh take all of me” 

Bucky gave you a second to adjust to his size, his wide hands splayed across your body to hold you in place as he began to thrust up. You gasped in pleasure, your voice melting into a moan as he picked you up and placed you on his desk, pushing your thighs to hit your chest, hitting an even deeper angel. 

“OH GOD-MR-BARNES” You wailed as he fucked you harder, his heard thrown back, tie loosened, tightening the grip he had on your legs, keeping you spread out wide open. He groaned at the sight of his thick cock disappearing in and out of you while you moaned and sobbed on his desk, taking everything he gave you. 

“That’s right baby, say my name, let everyone know who makes you feel this good” He grunted through gritted teeth, holding off his orgasm while bringing his thumb to rub your clit again. 

“I-I’m gonna-OH-GOD-PLEASEE

“Fuck you sound perfect” Bucky moaned feeling you choke his length, fluttering and pulling him deeper as your orgasm washed over you, his own release dangerously close. “God you feel so fuckin’ good when you cum baby. One more angel, just one more” Bucky practically pleaded with you, speeding up his fingers till he saw your eyes roll back, silent screams leaving your mouth as your juices soaked his balls. 

“Fuck m’cumming so hard for you baby” He groaned, giving you a few more sloppy thrusts before stilling and spilling ropes of cum into you. He kept his cock inside while bending down to pick you up and sit back in his chair again. He sat with you for a while, petting your hair and kissing you, whispering sweet nothings. 

“Ready to go?” He whispered, looking down to see if you’d fallen asleep while you snuggled into him with your eyes closed. 

“Too tired sir” You pouted, nuzzling into his chest, refusing to move, your body too fucked out to even stand. 

“I got you baby” Bucky smiled, shrugging off his blazer and wrapping you up before carrying you away in his arms, ready to take you home, right where you belonged “Gonna make love to my pretty girl” 

[vintagebuckybarnes]

In Vino Veritas

Pairing → Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Lab Assistant! Female! Reader

Total Wordcount → 3.5K

Summary → It all started when you and the Avengers enjoyed drinks during the afterparty back at the Avengers Tower. There, Tony revealed one of your deepest secrets, and even though you wish it had never come to light at first, you’re glad it did when the man you love stands on your doorstep, ready to start the rest of your life together.

Tags & Warnings → Semi-canon compliant, Avenger! Bucky Barnes, Female! Reader, Tony’s Lab Assistant! Reader, Bucky’s past as TWS is mentioned, emotional hurt/comfort, mutual pining, some cursing, and explicit sexual content.

Tags: Smut → Grinding, begging, some dirty talk, praise, teasing Bucky, protected sex, cowgirl position.

Story Rating → Explicit

Author’s Note → This story is beta'd by the wonderful @late-to-the-party-81, and I cannot thank you enough for that. I hope you'll all enjoy my story, which is filled with some angst, lots of fluff, and some smut to top it all off! 💜

Writing Prompts @fandom-free-bingo Bug Edition → “There is no us.” | Riding | In vino veritas | “Touch me.” @fandom-free-bingo Medical Edition → Crush at first sight @julybreakbingo Post-JBB → Being confronted about their feelings for another

Tags List → If you’d like to be tagged in my stories, you can add yourself to my tag list here.

The evening starts fine, good, even. But it all takes an unexpected turn when the man you work for - Tony Stark - reveals your secret. A secret that you’d only recently revealed to him.

Earlier that day, you’d spotted Bucky as he was working out and from that moment on your mind has been with him instead of your usual work and tasks.

“Hello, Y/N? Anyone home in there?” Tony asks as he lays a hand on your shoulder, making you jump. You look up at him with a worried look while he smiles back at you with a kind expression. A soft sigh escapes your lips as the thoughts in your head wander off again, specifically how his back looked underneath the tank top he wore in the gym while doing squats. Not only that, but you also can’t stop thinking about the way his ass looked in the sweatpants he wore. In a word, magnificent.

“Is everything okay with you? You’ve been a bit off your game today.” As Tony sits next to you, you put down the screwdriver you were holding - the one he asked you three times to pass to him - before turning to face him, your gaze focusing somewhere on the wall behind him. For a moment, there’s a silence between you as you gather the courage to tell him what’s been on your mind.

“Well, uhm- There’s something, or someone, that I can’t stop thinking about, and it’s taking over my mind every second of every day. It- It’s Bucky,” you say almost in a whisper. For a few seconds, Tony is completely silent as he lets the thought of you having a crush on one of his fellow Avengers sit in his mind. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he reaches out for your hand and takes it between his warm ones.

“You know that I’ll always support you in everything, right? I supported you when you expressed your desire to halt your life as an Avenger and retrain as my lab technician, and I supported you when you moved out of Avengers Tower to have your own home with more peace. This is not going to be any different. All I’m hoping for is that he will make you the happiest and best version of you, as you deserve nothing less.”

Tears brim at your waterline as Tony tells you this, and even though you deeply appreciate him, his words, and everything he has done for you, you can’t help but still feel a bit… odd about the fact you told him you’re having a crush on Bucky. That you have a crush on the man who was once the most feared assassin in the world under the hands of HYDRA.

“Now, can you hand me that screwdriver before your thoughts wander off to him again?” your boss asks in a teasing tone, making you smile as you grab it and hand it to him. Somehow, he always seems to know the right thing to say, and it's exactly why you enjoy spending time by his side while learning everything there is to know about his lab and what's going on in there.

Just as you’re about to get comfortable with another drink in your hand, you meet the gaze of the man you’re crushing on, and you feel heat coursing through your veins. The lines around his deep blue eyes intensify as he smiles at you, his attention making every last thought in your brain disappear. You’re so captivated by how Bucky looks at you that you miss your seat as you sit down. However, before you fall, you’re caught by a pair of solid arms that prevent you from hitting the floor.

“Careful there, Little One,” Thor says in his deep voice, his accent always making the butterflies in your stomach go wild. Even though you’d known Thor since you were young, you couldn’t help but get a little flustered by the nickname, and he smiled at you as you were finally sitting on the chair you intended to use.

“Thank you, Thor,” you whisper before sipping your cocktail. Around you, the conversations are starting to become a little blurry as you focus on Bucky and everything he has to say, his lips forming around the words effortlessly. When you suddenly feel a little shove against your arm, you yelp, making everyone go silent as they look at you.

“What did you do that for?!” you ask Thor in a low voice, but all he does is point to Tony, who obviously has something to say as he’s waving for everyone’s attention. There are moments when you enjoy the fact that alcohol can bring out people’s true feelings or thoughts, also known as in vino veritas, but not now. Oh no, now you wish you could disappear as you listen to the words coming out of Tony’s mouth.

“Guys, you really shouldn’t say this to Bucky or Y/N, but they’re having a massive crush on one another!” Tony says in a loud whispering tone, but what he fails to notice in his inebriated state is that you two are sitting right across from one another, enjoying the afterparty just like everyone else. Or at least, you were enjoying the afterparty until your secret got out.

The glass you were holding falls out of your hand before shattering into pieces on the floor, and your feet carry you as fast as they can away from the party and away from your worst nightmare come true. The music behind you fades away as you turn one corner after another, tears burning in your eyes as the event repeatedly replays in your mind. Your lungs start to burn as you keep running, the stinging feeling in your side increasing as you run out of the Avengers Tower into the night.

Meanwhile, Bucky’s world feels like it has taken a 180-degree turn. Mere minutes ago, he could only fantasize that you could have feelings for him, but now? A wave of disbelief washes over the super soldier, his expression showing pure surprise as he takes the moment in. For him, it was a crush at first sight from the momentyou walked into the training room on your first day. Over the years, his feelings have intensified, although he has only told Steve about his crush - or rather his now deep-rooted love - for you.

And yet, now that the pair of you have been confronted about your feelings for one another, he doesn’t know what to do. He has replayed the moment he’d confess his feelings to you more times than he can count in his mind, and in none of those versions, this is one of the scenarios that had appeared. It’s only when Steve grabs his arm and pulls him away that he seemingly comes back to reality again.

“Bucky, how does Tony know about your crush on Y/N? I mean, I’m, of course, fine with you sharing it, but-”

“I don’t know, Steve, I don’t know, and it kills me,” Bucky says as he runs his fingers through his cropped hair.“Fuck- I was planning on telling her this week but… but now it’s ruined, and I didn’t even get the chance to talk to her, and-” It’s all Bucky can say as he fights the urge to punch the wall with his metal fist, both hands clenched by his side as he tries to regulate his breathing. Without warning, Steve pulls him into a hug, and Bucky’s arms snake around his best friend's waist as his fingers clutch at the fabric of his shirt.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise,” Steve whispers, though he’s not entirely sure that’s true because he knows as well as anyone that things don’t always go back to how they were before. Still, Bucky decides to believe him as they stand there for a little while longer, and he soaks in every bit of comfort he can get for now. Lord knows he’s going to need it.

The past few days have been strange, to say the least. You haven’t been to the Avengers Tower since Tony revealed your now not-so-secret crush on the super soldier. You’re afraid of what will happen if you do. This also means you haven’t seen Bucky in a few days, and you miss him. You miss hearing his laugh, and you miss seeing how his mouth turns slightly upward as you hand him one of your baked goods, but most of all, you miss how his arms feel when he pulls you in for a hug.

Just as you’re about to make yourself a cup of tea, you get pulled from your thoughts by a soft but familiar knock on the door; only one thing can make that sound: Bucky’s metal hand knocking against the wood. For a moment, you contemplate your actions, but decide to give him at least a chance to talk, especially as it wasn’t him who laid out your feelings in front of everyone.

“Bucky, hi,” you say softly as you take in his appearance, your heart sinking as you do. It’s evident he hasn’t slept at all the past few days. There are dark circles under his eyes, and he doesn’t look as healthy as usual—more disheveled. The struggles he’s facing are apparent in his entire demeanor, and all you want to do is wrap him up in a warm blanket and cuddle him until the end of time.

“Hi,” he says hoarsely, and you step aside, allowing him to enter your apartment. He’s been here a few times already, and usually there’s a warmth radiating from you and every inch of the little place you call home, but ever since the party, it hasn’t been the same. It isn’t just the apartment, either. You feel different.

“Would you like some tea before we talk?” you ask to break the tension. “I was about to make some.”

He nods at you before wandering further into your apartment, and you head to the kitchen, picking out another mug for Bucky to use. Once he’s caught sight of your couch, he immediately takes a seat, a soft groan audible as he does. There aren’t many places more comfortable than the large couch that’s standing right here in your living room.

When you emerge a few minutes later with two steaming mugs of tea and a plate filled with chocolate chip cookies you baked fresh this morning, Bucky can’t help but smile at you. He gladly takes the tea with one of the cookies, as they’re his favorite, and when you sit down next to him, it feels just like it always has, as if nothing has changed. But you both know it has, and that’s why the super soldier’s now in your living room.

“So…” you start, unsure what to say now that he’s sitting on your couch. Bucky’s eyes are trained on the steaming tea in his hands, his thoughts going a mile a minute as he’s thinking about what he wants to say - other than confessing his love for you.

“So… uhm, we missed seeing you around the Tower,” Bucky starts, though you both know it’s mostly him who has missed seeing you there. You have always been a staple there during his mornings as you make him a cup of coffee, and during movie nights, you were always the one he could sit next to and enjoy the movie, but now that you’re not there, it’s like a piece of soul has left the Tower with you.

“I mean, yeah. It’s been a bit awkward for me to go back after what happened a few days ago,” you tell him, and a shudder of horror runs down your spine at the thought of having to face Tony again. A smile tugs at the corners of Bucky’s lips as he thinks back to what happened that night, a happy memory of your first meeting resurfacing in the back of his mind as he does.

“Good morning, Sergeant Barnes. I’ve made some chocolate chip cookies, if you want some. However, I should warn you, Tony’s been on the prowl since I took them out of the oven, so I’ll advise you to be quick,” you say with a glare towards Tony, who has been eyeing them up since he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. For the first time in a long time, Bucky showed something akin to a smile, and everyone looked at each other to ensure they saw it, too.

“Thank you,” he says lowly, grabbing one of the smaller ones on the plate, followed by a cup of coffee, before swiftly leaving the kitchen to spend more time in his room. Before Bucky even left the kitchen, Tony was on the cookies as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks, and this time you let him.

“Can I- Is it okay if I tell you something? Because if I don’t say it now, I don’t know if I ever will,” Bucky says softly, and you nod before repositioning yourself so that you’re facing him. His gaze is still trained on his mug as he thinks carefully about his next words, afraid he might accidentally say the wrong thing.

“Tony was right. He is right, actually. When he said, we’re crushing on each other. I’ve been crushing on you since you offered me those chocolate chip cookies when Tony threatened to eat them all before anyone else had a chance to get them. It was like a switch flipped inside me back then, and I haven’t been the same since,” Bucky says, his mouth now in a line as he tells you about his feelings.

“Each time I look at you, it’s like I’m seeing an angel, and every time I hear your voice, it’s like a little piece of my soul is healing, too. I find myself drawn to you in every room and wonder what life has in store for us. But deep down inside, I know there is no ‘us’ yet. But I want there to be us. I want you, Y/N. I want you to be mine, in whatever capacity you’ll have me. If you want to stay friends, that’s okay with me, but if you want more, I’ll happily accept every bit of love you’re willing to offer me.”

Once Bucky’s done, you’re unsure what to say. What to think. What to do. You want to say that the feelings between you are mutual, that you’re in love with him and that you want nothing more than to be his, but something inside you is stopping you. So, instead of saying anything, you place your hand over his flesh limb, and his eyes slip shut at the feeling of your soft fingers against his rough hand.

“Bucky.” His name is a whisper on your lips, but it’s enough to make him look at you, to meet your gaze.

“I’m in love with you, too.”

As soon as the words leave your lips, Bucky carefully put his tea on the coffee table before hauling you onto his lap, his hands digging into the soft flesh of your waist as your lips interlock in a passionate dance. He can’t get enough of your soft mouth slotting together with his and the way his tongue fights for dominance with yours as your fingers dig into his neck. It’s been a long time since you’ve felt a strong connection with someone, and you’re happy to explore it with Bucky.

Your hips grind over his growing length of their own volition,your body looking for any bit of friction it can get. Without warning, one of Bucky’s hands slides lower until he’s cupping your ass, making you gasp into his mouth as a result. Bucky can’t help but smile into the kiss as he pulls you impossibly closer, your legs spreading just a bit further as you sink against his muscular body.

“Hmm, I’ve been wanting this - you - for so long,” he says between the kisses trailing your jaw towards your ear, his teeth nipping on your earlobe as your head lolls to the side. With every passing second, your thoughts are melting away more and more, and all that’s left inside your mind is Bucky. Soon, his other hand joins the first as he helps you grind onto him, a groan falling from his lips as he sets a perfect pace for you both.

“B-Bucky—" his name sounds more like a whine than anything else. “I—I want you.”

“But you already have me, pretty girl, ‘m right here,” he says with a teasing lilt to his voice, his hands continuing to help you grind until you’re a complete mess for him. Your shorts are ruined, your arousal soaking through them and onto the bulge in his black jeans, much to Bucky’s joy. He was wondering what it would take to get you to this point, and it turns out it won’t take much.

He smiles against the skin of your neck, where he’s taking his time to mark you with hickeys and small bitemarks, all of which leave you a bit more of a moaning, begging mess on his lap, much to his pride. When one of your hands moves away from his neck and down his torso, he quickly catches on to what you’re doing. “Someone’s a little impatient today, huh?”

“Yes, oh god, yes! I need you to touch me, Bucky. I want to feel you inside me as you make me fall apart on your cock, and I need you to fuck me like there’s no tomorrow!” Your voice sounds more breathy than usual, but every care you thought you had has gone out the window. All you want is Bucky and his cock to ride, until you’re orgasming so hard and long you can’t remember your name.

“Okay, I will. Don’t you worry about anything, okay? Let me take care of you, and I’ll give you everything you need and more,” he reassures you in a shushing voice. You nod before kissing him again, which immediately deepens before he gently helps you get up, allowing you to take off your panties and shorts, and he can take off his pants and boxershorts, too. As soon as you’re both freed from your last pieces of clothing, you hand him a condom you retrieved from the side table drawer while he took the time to undress himself.

“Hmmm, looks so thick,” you tell him as you look at it with wide eyes, wondering how he’s going to fit inside you as you’re positioning yourself on his lap once more, your legs bracketing his thicks thighs as you get comfortable.

“I know, but I’m gonna go slow. Wouldn’t want to hurt you and your perfect, sweet little pussy.” He smiles as he holds his cock in place, your pliant body sinking onto him slowly as your fingers dig into his shoulders to steady yourself. Your hiss of pleasure is audible and your face contorts at the slight sting of him stretching you, but just like he promised, Bucky is taking it slow to ensure you’ll both have the most amazing first time.

As soon as you’re fully seated on his lap, your body goes limp against him, your face tucked in the crook of his neck as you adjust to his girth, and Bucky places soft kisses on your head while praising you through it all. “You’re doing so well for me, baby. Such a good girl for me, letting me take the lead and giving you exactly what you need.”

A small smile appears on your face as you look up at him with big, doe-like eyes, and he can’t help but smile back as the back of his fingers gently caress your cheek. He may have thought you were beautiful before, but nothing compares to this moment. 

“I love you, Y/N, and I promise to take care of you with every fiber of my being,” he whispers, his lips sealing his promise against your cheek. Your eyes fall shut at his words, and his hand moves down your side until it’s on your hip again, ready for you to let him know when you’re good to go. Your bodies work in complete sync with one another with every rise and fall of your chest, and his hands guide you beautifully as you slowly sink and rise on his length.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans, and it doesn’t take long for both of you to find your highs for the first time, and they’re serving as a promise of everything else that’s still to come in this lifetime. A few days ago, you and Bucky didn’t even know you felt the same about one another, but now you’re sharing the start of the rest of your lives, and it’s all thanks to Tony. Because without him, you wouldn’t have been able to tell the man of your dreams how much you love him.

Masterlist → Bucky Barnes

GIF: Source → All the other graphics you see are made by @vintagebuckybarnes

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Every Part of You

Pairing - Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader A.N. - Alright, I've been asked to write about Bucky and Sunshine's first time many, many times. And the thing is, like sure, I could write that, but also I want us to take a moment to consider trying to build up to that. There's so many firsts buried in there that I think need to be navigated through before they even get there. This is one of those firsts. Like the first time you see Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Grumpy Sunshine Series

"You're just- " You stop speaking, searching for his lips again. Though you're breathless, you can't bring yourself to pull away from him, "You're so pretty."

You shudder as you feel his hand slip under your sweater. The occasional graze of the cool metal on your skin enough to send shivers down your spine.

His lips trail down, nipping at your jaw, "I'm not pretty."

Your hands, winded in the hair at the nape of his neck, glide down his neck, to clutch the fabric of his henley. The moment he feels your fingers toy with the collar of his shirt, his heart hammers against his ribcage. Not in the sort of way that he usually feels in these moments with you. He feels a sense of dread, of panic. It wraps around his spine like a python. It feels like he can't breathe.

"You're so -"

He wrenches away from you, his chest heaving, "Stop, stop, stop."

You freeze, immediately dropping your hands. Panic starts creeping up your throat, coating your words. "Did I - did I do something wrong?"

He gulps, silently shaking his head. It takes him a moment to regain his composure, to regain the ability to speak clearly, "No, no, you're - you're perfect."

Guilt starts to eat at him. He can see you doing your very best to keep your own feelings off your face. He can see the sting of his rejection in the way your lips press together in a tight line. The embarrassment in the pallor of your once flushed cheeks.

You two have worked so hard to overcome your own personal issues and traumas, to build trust in each other, moments like these hadn't come easy. And he so callously pushed you away, it makes him feel worse. And what makes his heart ache even more, he sees nothing but concern for him shining in your eyes. You just look so worried for him.

Your hands rest in your lap. You twist and untwist your fingers. "If you don't want to, we don't - we don't have to do anything. I'm really sorry -"

"No, no, please don't be sorry." He reaches for you, gently squeezing your hand. It soothes him as much as it does you. "I want to. You don't know how much I want to."

"But?"

His eyes squeeze shut. He can't bring himself to meet your eyes. "You haven't seen it before - my arm, my shoulder."

"Oh."

He drops your hand. That feeling takes over him again. It feels like there's not enough air in the room. He slides away from you, closer to the edge of the tiny couch in your apartment. "It's - I am not pretty."

It breaks your heart, watching him pull away from you. You can only imagine how many people have turned away from him before. "James..."

He fervently shakes his head, refusing to open his eyes, "No, no, I know what you're gonna say, but it's bad. A lot worse than you're thinking."

"How do you know what I'm thinking?"

"It's bad," he insists. "I see it every day and I can barely - it's just bad, okay?"

You take his hand, squeezing it tightly. "It's okay if you don't want me to see it. I understand."

He finally opens his eyes again as his eyebrows pull together. He still doesn't meet your eye. "No, no, I want to - I trust you with this, I do. I just - I want you to be prepared."

In that moment, you realize that it's not really about preparing you. Not at all.

He thinks you're going to react badly. He thinks that this will make you turn away from him for the first time ever. He's worried that the love and adoration in your eyes will turn to disgust and repulsion.

It's less about preparing you for the scarred flesh, and more about warning you that he couldn't take a bad reaction. He's not sure he could take it if you turned away from him too.

"I love you," you promise him. "There's nothing that you could show me that would change that. I hope you know that."

There is no response to that. And you know that he won't believe it until he sees it. It takes him a moment. His hand toys with the hem of his shirt. His hand grips the hem, only to let it go.

"I love you," you remind him.

He takes a large gulp of air, pulling off his shirt with one quick movement.

You weren't really sure what you were expecting. You knew the story. You knew how Bucky lost his arm. He even confided the bits and pieces he remembered from getting his vibranium arm.

Your eyes trail over his skin. The shoulder is scarred, scars jut in every direction. Each scar is etched into his skin. It's clear it was a painful, violent experience for him. The metal plate protrudes from the scar tissue in a way that you're sure was painful when first placed. You look on with curiosity, you're not really sure how this, a sign of survival, a badge of resilience, could ever make anyone turn away from him.

He's as breathtaking as you could ever imagine.

Your eyes flicker up at him. He looks at the blank wall of your apartment, scared to watch your facial expressions as you take it in. "Can I?"

He nods, barely able to look you in the eyes. He sucks in a breath when your fingers make contact with the scar tissue surrounding the metal plate.

You immediately pull your fingers back, worried you've accidentally hurt him. "Does it hurt?"

"No," he answers reflexively.

You know he's lying. "I've seen you holding your shoulder before - holding it like it hurts."

"Sometimes," he amends. "The doctor said there's a lot of nerve damage. Things they can't fix."

"Does it hurt now?"

"No."

You run your hand over the plate, over his scars, down to his shoulder blade.

"Still think I'm pretty?" he sarcastically remarks.

You press a gentle kiss to his bare shoulder. "I'll always think you're pretty. Every part of you."

Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

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[queers-gambit]

Curiosity Killed The Cat

prompt: after rescuing you from kidnappers, you overhear your boyfriend-turned-savior complain about how clingy you've become.

pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Marvel

collection masterlist: Clingy Baby

word count: 5.1k+

note: author wants things out of her drafts! also don't take this fic too seriously, it's not much at all - just me writing for the fuck of it until i'm ready to focus on my bigger projects.

warnings: modern AU, Mafia AU, obvious cursing, small hurt and comfort, brief depiction of physical violence and self-destruction in the form of: loss of appetite, lack of sleep, other symptoms of depression. NOT edited! author is ashamed because she knows she can give you something better but oh well.

Your feet planted, jarring you to a halt the moment you heard your name in a conversation you were not apart of.

You heard the hammering of your heart, echoing beats of your blood pumping with harrowing desperation. Hands turned cold and clammy, sweat breaking out on your brow and then freezing, feeling as if your throat had swollen to a new restriction and you were anchored in you in place.

Rooted.

But for now, all you could identify was the paralyzing anxiety that anchored you to your spot and made your heartbeat thunder in your ears. You stood outside the lounge, unable to comprehend relevant thought; still listening to low, docile tones continue their conversation, but you couldn't hear real words.

You were stunned. Panicked, confused, hurt - so very hurt. That seemed to register, too; you were really, really hurt.

This was perhaps why curiosity killed the cat.

You reprimanded yourself for listening in - transporting back to childhood during all the times your parents would scold you for eavesdropping. You knew it was wrong, you knew this was a private conversation meant to be shared between trusting confidants, but you couldn't help it - you heard your name and stopped. It was natural, right? To feel curious regarding a conversation seemingly about you that you, yourself, was not apart of?

Curiosity, indeed.

Blinking rapidly, you remembered the only other time you felt such mounting, pressurized fear, and while it might be dramatic, the only other time you could remember this level of anxiety was from about two months ago...

"Yes, baby, I got the bacon."

"And the jalapeños?"

"Uh-huh, the biggest they had."

"Cream cheese?"

"Do you know who you're talking to?" You laughed into the phone. "I'm a professional housewife by now, you can relax. I got all you needed for your fancy little dinner experiment."

Bucky laughed down the phone, "Oh, please, like I didn't see you salivating when we watched the segment on Top Chef."

"Hush," you laughed, too. "I'm leaving the store now," you told him, pushing out of the heavy glass doors, "and should be home in, like, 10 minutes?"

"Lemme pick you up."

"I have legs to walk with, so, no thank you."

He sighed, "Well, I'll open the wine to let it breathe. Red's still good?"

"Let's do a white tonight, please."

"Good deal," he mused softly. "Hey, I was thinking earlier - "

"Hang on," you pleaded.

"What's wrong?"

"No, nothing. There's just a van slowing down, I don't want to get hit," you chuckled some, looking up and down the street before crossing. "Sorry, so, what were you thinking?"

"We haven't been to Paris in months."

You smirked, "I'm sure our plants in the apartment are dead by now."

Bucky laughed, "Oh, I am, too. But, look, how 'bout it, Peach? You, me, all the croissants we can consume this weekend. I'll take Monday and Tuesday off, we can leave tomorrow night."

"Oh, that sounds nice," you moaned. "Paris in the spring? Baby, that's so dreamy!"

"So, is that a yes?"

"It's a hell yes," you grinned. "Do you know the weather?"

"Supposed to be nice and sunny, not too warm or cold. Figured this would be ideal," he chuckled. "But does the weather matter if we're in bed the whole time?"

"No, we're not wasting our time!" You laughed. "We're gonna go do shit, okay? Stereotypical tourist-couple shit."

"I'll bring the camera."

"And I was hoping we could have dinner at that little place we love?"

"I wouldn't take you anywhere else," he mused.

"I think it's - FUCK!" Bucky froze when he heard the screeching of tires; a van coming up to a skidding halt, flurry of voices all yelling but he heard yours clearly. "No, no, no, hey, hey, what the hell's happening? Hey! What's this - hey, hey! Don't touch me! Ow, shit! No! Hey! Fuck's sake - oh, my God! Ow! Hey!"

"Baby!? Peach! Hey! The fuck's going on!?"

There was a thudding over the phone, and Bucky listened to more struggling - more fidgeting and fighting - and then the slamming of a car door. Still calling your name, Bucky heard a scrape over the line before a different voice answered your phone, "James Barnes. On behalf of HYDRA, you're overdue on your payment and we warned you there would be consequences. Deliver the full amount of 17 million - "

"It's 15," he growled.

"Two million more for the inconvenience of stalking your woman."

"If you even so much as touch her, I swear to God - "

"17 million at midnight, at the pier, or every minute you're late, she'll receive the brunt end of our frustration."

"Don't hurt her - "

"Midnight, Mr. Barnes, at the pier - you know where. Don't be late, she looks like she won't last long."

The line went dead after he heard your screech of pain, confusion, and fear. The moment the line cut, he dropped his phone and slowly lowered himself to sit on the kitchen floor, shock coloring his system. It wasn't that he didn't have the money, quite the opposite - but he and his men had a plan in motion to take out HYDRA, their org's competition, and this was totally against all they anticipated. After a minute to sit in his own worry, Bucky jumped to his feet, grabbed his phone, keys, wallet, and two handguns; holstering them both before shrugging his suit jacket on.

He made every phone call he could, gathering the men he trusted most to (one of) his warehouse(s).

For hours, you were strung up by your wrists in a joint-pulling position while the Brooklyn Mafia formulated a plan of attack. It was the most pain you've ever known, but then the abuse started and you were blinded by this new pain. You had bruises most places, cuts that wept blood; scars that would never heal, wounds that wouldn't ever close. You were delirious, miserable, confused, just dazed and confused; praying to a God who didn't listen.

"Oh, look at that," your captor mocked, holding a thick-bladed hunting knife in hand, "it's one minute til midnight, and I don't see your loverboy anywhere."

You sniffled, unable to respond.

He stared out the lone window, tisking and narrating, "Nope, I see not a soul - and with how protective he is over you, you'd think he'd want to ensure your safety. Not leave it to chance, huh?"

You whimpered as the clock struck midnight, your heart hammering in heavy-hung worry. You had tears in your eyes, heart nearly beating out of your chest, feeling incredibly nauseous. The desire to scream never lessened, just fearing what was to come; the men in the room making you fear for the state of your life, their knuckles cracking. You only begged, "Please. Don't."

The main captor laughed, "You can do better than that! C'mon, give me the satisfaction of tellin' ol' James you begged for mercy - but it wasn't enough to sway me. I'll lie, for sure, and say it happened but it will be so much sweeter if you actually do it."

"Please," you shook your head, avoiding eye contact. "Just don't do this, please."

"Oh, honey," he mocked, "it's not our fault he's late. Lads! Have at her, but leave her face for now - she's still real pretty."

You listened as he gave commands in Russian, understanding after the years at Bucky's side; whimpering when the first blow landed to your gut and knocked the wind out of you. The minutes drug by and you felt your resolve crumbling, heart still hammering to a never-before-felt speed that made it feel as if it were jumping out of your very body at every single pulse point. You struggled in your restraints, but it was futile by how tight you were bound; unable to protect yourself.

At 12:03 am, the doors blew open in a resounding blast; concrete crumbling and sprinkling the floor. You cried out as the smoke choked you, coughing through the haze; only barely able to make out certain figures to know Bucky had brought his best men. However, despite the sting to your eyes from the swirling dust and smoke, you saw a lone man stalk through the blasted wall, through the fray, and straight up to you.

"Bu-Bucky!" You choked in relief as he reached to untie your feet first. You dangled for only a moment as his metal prosthetic ripped off whatever held your wrists to the torture contraption. "Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Bucky, holy shit, baby, please, please, please," you rambled as he freed you and instantly caught you on his broad shoulders.

"I got you, Peach, I'm here, I've got you," he promised in your ear, hoisting your legs around his waist so they latched and then wrapping his arms around you securely. "Don't let go and don't look up, okay? Hear me, Peach?"

You nodded into his neck, only able to cry.

Bucky jolted and jerked slightly as he moved through the fight again, but not a minute later, you were stepping outside into the sobering, brisk spring air. This was the moment you understood how dangerous and fleeting life with Bucky could be, making a promise to yourself that if he says take the car, you'll take the fucking car.

And now, here you were, outside the high-rise apartment's lounge (which was just a converted bedroom), listening to your boyfriend complain about you some 2 months after the whole fiasco. HYDRA had been all but wiped out, and in the weeks since, Bucky's men had gone on smaller missions to eradicate the HYDRA members they heard rumor of being local. Yet you didn't feel safe, yet.

You didn't feel safe if you weren't around Bucky.

Everything made you jump: the beep of the done-dryer, that spritz of the automatic fragrance mister in the bathroom, the "duh-dunnn" of a loaded-up Netflix. Keys jingling, car horns, the barking of the dog in the apartment a floor below you... Everything.

Being around Bucky was just like holding a safety blanket. He would always protect you, and for about a week after your rescue, he laid in bed and around the home with you; being lazy; time off work to simply hold you and assure you were safe. Safe in his arms. Safe in his embrace, his presence.

So now... To hear this... You were devastated.

You didn't mean to eavesdrop, it just sort of happened. It was still earlier in the morning, but Bucky hadn't been in bed beside you and based on the feel of the sheets, his body hadn't been there in a while. So, you made some coffee and then ventured around the home in search of your lover; coming upon the lounge and hearing voices from within.

You knew it was common for Steve Rogers and / or Sam Wilson to stay late or visit early, so, you weren't shocked by that, but did falter in announcing yourself when you heard Sam ask how you were doing since the kidnapping. He used your name specifically, making Bucky sigh, and for your curiosity to peak.

"She's different, man."

"How so?" Sam wondered.

"She doesn't like being without me now," he chuckled without humor. "I'm serious, she won't go to the gym until I do, waits to have meals together, won't leave the house if I'm out, and," he scoffed to himself, "you can forget going to the grocery store or anything - she's even stopped going to work - "

"You told her to stop working, like, two years ago when y'all first moved-in together," Sam deadpanned.

"I know," Bucky shrugged, "but it feels tenfold now that she's so reclusive."

"It's normal," Steve sighed gently.

"Yeah? Is it normal that I can't even go take a shit without promising her I'll be right back?" Bucky snapped in exasperation. "It's that bad, she's that fucking clingy, man. I go in the kitchen to make dinner, she's in there 30 seconds later to 'help' me. I take a shower, she finds a reason to linger in the bedroom, but that was better than before, when she wouldn't even shower by herself. It's just a lot, she's everywhere I look. I'm starting to find new reasons not to come home, man, she's always fucking here - and when I walk in the door, she's on me. I need to fucking breathe, but I can't tell her to stop, she'll get her feelings hurt and then I'm the bad guy."

"Man," Steve laughed, "you can't be the bad guy if you go to her in a calm and collected manner, but it's only been two months. She's still recovering."

"Exactly why if I say anything, no matter how calm and collected, I'm the bad guy. I get she's hurting and tryna recover, but Goddamn, does she have to be in every room I'm in? Do everything with me? How do I tell my traumatized girlfriend to back off? Let me breathe?"

Sam laughed, "You don't! You just said it - she's traumatized! Cut the girl some slack, she's got a lot to fuckin' deal with!"

"I'm not negating from that fact," Bucky argued, "I'm just trying to say, the way she's clinging onto me like she can't function without me is just grating at my nerves. I just need to breathe and recharge, but I can't tell her that - fuck's sake."

"Buck," Steve smirked, "you're worried Peach isn't gonna listen, but that's her literal superpower. Just communicate, she can't read your mind, but you need to remember how traumatic all of that was for her to experience - she's scarred from that kidnapping, man. So, sure, you need to recharge, but she needs the support."

"Is it wrong to ask for a day here and there to do that? To recharge?" Bucky asked quietly.

"If you communicate, it's perfectly reasonable to ask for," Sam assured softly. "And whatever you do, don't tell her you think she's clingy. Chicks hate that, that word is, just, like, taboo or something. Real heavy, negative connotations."

"But she is," Bucky growled quietly, "'s like she's afraid to let go 'cause I'll disappear or something."

"Oh, noooo," Sam mocked, "I'm Bucky and my girlfriend loves me too much and trusts me too much and actually feels safe and dependent on me too much - ohhh noooo!"

There was a thump, Sam's cried, "Ow!", and Bucky telling him to shut up. You slowly backed away from the door, trying to settle your breathing as you made your escape down the hall. When back in the kitchen, you whimpered and let the first tears fall... The first of many you shed in the hour it took you to prepare breakfast for everyone; doing your best to eat as you cooked so you didn't have to linger around the men. You took Bucky's words to heart, and maybe you were too sensitive, maybe you should venture outside again.

So, when the lads came out, you set the table without making eye contact with any of them. "Here," you directed, setting the pancakes down, "I made breakfast, come eat, it's still hot."

"Wow," Sam smiled brightly, "thanks, Peach!"

You hummed, still avoiding their eyes as you just set the abundance of food to the table. "You... Cooked without me?" Bucky asked you with skepticism.

"Mhm," you hummed, setting the coffee pot down to a hot pad, "and I'm going out shopping with Nat, so, eat up, lads, I'll do the dishes when I get home. Love you, boys, bye," you waved them off, snatching your keys and then moving to the door to stuff your feet into your sneakers.

"Woah, woah, woah," Bucky left the table, approaching you urgently, "hey, what do you mean? You're goin' out?"

"Yep, figured I've stayed in too long, might as well get out and remember life doesn't stop just 'cause I'm sad."

"Peach - "

"I'll see you when I get home, Buck, okay?" You mumbled, slinging your purse on your shoulder.

"Well, here, here, hey, wait, hang on," he pulled his wallet out, handing you over a wad of big bills. "Spend it all, okay? Have fun, call or text if you need me, yeah?"

"Sure."

Bucky leaned in to kiss you but you just opened the door, ready to leave. He frowned, watching you, barely managing to call a quick, "Love you!"

You didn't return the sentiment, feeling hallow and all too silly to return the affection. In your purse was your laptop, headphones, chargers, and whatever else, so, instead of meeting your friend, Natasha - being just a ruse to avoid Bucky - you started small and just went to the local café. You used to frequent it back in the day, but times were changed, and yet, they were all the happier to serve you the same as before. Getting cozy in the corner, you set up camp and ordered your favorite coffee basically every other hour - letting the day waste away as you caught up on work emails.

Might've wasted time on Instagram and Facebook and Pinterest. Got shopping done on Amazon. Browsed through Target's online selection. Checked out the sale items at Kate Spade. Perused Fenty Lingerie because you could.

Before you knew it, a message was coming in over your MacBook from Bucky, asking where you were - why had you turned your location off?

You packed up and with a to-go cup, made the short trek back home. When you got back, Bucky was pacing in the living room; staring at his phone and typing, then deleting, retyping, groaning, glancing up, typing again, then doing a double take. "Where've you been, Peach? Huh!?" Bucky demanded. "You're late!"

"Out with Nat," you eased.

He huffed through his nose, nodding slowly, "You have a nice time?"

"It was okay," you answered. "I'm gonna go to bed after I shower."

His brows furrowed, "I have a meeting tonight."

"I know."

"O...kay?" He let you go, wanting to ask why you didn't ask him to join like you had so often in the past few weeks.

And it didn't stop there, in fact, it got worse. When Bucky got home from his meeting, he was actually shocked to see you nestled in the bed; teetering on the edge of the shared space while snuggling a weighted body pillow.

When he tried to give you a snuggle, you stirred to life and pushed him back, muttering, "Too hot."

The following morning, he was relatively surprised to see you up and about before him; barely getting a word in before you were slipping out the door to go on a morning jog. He was confused by how all of a sudden, where you were once everywhere he looked, now, you were disappeared and distant and gone. You worked out alone, cooked alone - but always left him a plate, but long gone were the cute little sticky notes you left for him. You once haunted the apartment by never wanting to leave, and now, ghosted in and out of it on a daily basis.

You never bothered to go far from home. You liked hanging at the coffee shop and luckily, your job let you work from home most days, and the rare time you were due back in the office, it was only about a 20 minute walk. You got better at lying, couldn't even remember the last time you and Bucky had sex, and even now, the last time you had a meal together. You didn't text him about your day; where you once might've told him about an adorable dog you saw on the street, now, you only ever texted him if he asked a direct question.

Food lost appeal, your appetite vanished.

Sleep evaded you, plaguing you with nightmares when you did rest.

Interest dulled, passions were snuffed, and only fearful, confused anger remained. It showed in the way weight seemed to shift around your body, thinning; the lack of sleep creating dark rings and bags under your bloodshot eyes.

After two weeks of this, Bucky grew irritated and short with everyone around him. It reflected in his work, the way he spoke to everyone; even Steve and Sam getting the brunt end of his anger. Without you to assure him, Bucky was off his rocker; losing his cool; his patience stretched far too thin. So much so, the two mates approached an outside associate, Natasha Romanoff, after a particularly snappy meeting to plead for her to talk to Bucky.

"James," Nat greeted as she strode into his office without knocking.

"I know you're my oldest friend, but you don't have that privilege yet," he mused, never looking up.

"What?"

"Not knocking. What is it, Nat?"

"Just came to check on you, you know, like friends do."

"Hm," he chuckled without humor, "and what did Peach say to you?"

"About...?"

"Me."

"Nothing, I haven't gotten ahold of her for weeks."

Bucky paused, slowly lifting his head in confusion; brows furrowed and mouth set in a firm, straight line. "What?" He grit.

"Huh?" Nat wondered.

"She's been telling me that she's hanging out with you for the past two weeks," he revealed.

"Nope, not since the incident with HYDRA."

Bucky's (right) flesh hand crushed the pen in his grip, taking a long breath. "All right," he sighed, "so, why come today?"

"What's really going on, Buck?" She worried softly. "Is it really whatever's going on with Peach? You're this pissed off? What'd she even do?"

"She just..." He cut himself off with a long sigh. "It's nothing."

"Bucky," Nat gave a pointed look.

"She's just avoiding me," he muttered. "It's like she's barely home, almost like a ghost."

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes, and no," Bucky snipped, rolling his neck out. "I'm just worried about her now, she's never not communicated before."

"Something's bothering her," Nat shrugged. "She probably needs you right now, Buck."

"I can't do it all," he whispered. "I can't be who she wants and run this organization at the same time."

"She doesn't need that, she just needs you to be her partner," Natasha spoke softly. "She needs to feel loved and supported, and surely, she maybe felt weird about whatever you were projecting. Instead of taking it out on your men," she smirked, "why don't you just talk to her? 'Cause I hear you're bein' a more-than-usual asshole lately. You need to ease up or get laid, 'cause you're taking it out on good, loyal men, and that's entirely unfair."

"They can take it."

"Sure, but they shouldn't have to," Nat rolled her eyes. "Look, since you won't answer me, I'm assuming the sour mood is in regard to whatever relationship issues you have right now?"

"Sure," he tossed the pen away, opened a skinny drawer to his right and select an identical one.

"Bucky," she growled.

He sighed, "She's lying to me, Nat. Saying she's with you when she's not... Is this an affair? She's gone all the time now."

"No way," Nat laughed. "Baby girl doesn't have the energy to entertain anyone - let alone two men. You're just the exception."

"Why lie, then?"

"Maybe she didn't want you questioning her..."

"No shit."

"Well, did you get into a fight?"

"No."

"Any reason she doesn't want to be home?"

He shook his head with a sigh, "Not that I know of."

"You had to do something."

"Honest, I haven't. She was being all clingy, but then one day, a switch flipped."

Nat frowned, "You think... Your girlfriend is being clingy... Because she was kidnapped and beaten up... Because of your fucking job... And is probably scared...out of...her mind...? I get that correct?"

Bucky paused for a long moment, muttering, "Oh, my God."

"Yeah, you asshole. Think of it that way! She's afraid!" Natasha snapped. "And probably picked up on your energy, so, she made herself scarce."

"I didn't mean - "

"I don't care, go home, apologize to that sweet angel - she doesn't deserve this."

Bucky paused, "What is 'this' exactly?"

"James. Focus on the present - your woman. Go make this right. We all know you're this big, bad dude - but it's okay to be a little sensitive towards the woman who loves you without condition!"

Bucky relented, figuring the redheaded Russian mobster was right.

The entire drive home, Bucky considered the ways you had changed in the few, short weeks since he vented to Sam and Steve about your clinginess. You didn't take meals with him, didn't cook, work-out, or do anything you used to do together. Sex? Forget it. Dates? Nope. Cuddling? No, you're always 'too hot'. And when he thought about it, he remembers seeing the wads of cash he'd leave for you stuffed in his sock drawer - surely trying to make him think it was just another emergency fund he had hidden. You never spent his money, feeling humiliated by his choice of words.

Clingy...

You didn't text or call him when he was gone, you hadn't even so much as kissed him in what felt like ages... Well, more like you hadn't initiated any kisses...

His heart weighed in his chest as he realized he hadn't even so much as hugged you in days. You were rarely in the apartment together, and when you were, you were just silent and busy with chores. It was as if you operated on the exact opposite schedule as he did, went to new extents to avoid him, and his heart clenched in his chest.

When he got home, you were caught cooking in the kitchen - being obvious that you weren't expecting him. The door slammed and his baritone voice snapped, "Peach!"

You gulped, holding the sauce-covered wooden spoon to your chest. When he rounded around the corner, he found you and slowed down, sighing in relief. "What's wrong?" You worried in a timid tone.

He panted lightly, relaying, "Needed to find you."

"I'm here."

"I know," he relented, charging up to you and engulfing you in a tight, heavy hug. "I needed to talk to you, Peach," he whispered.

"What's wrong?"

"You. You're what's wrong."

"What the fuck does that - "

"No, no," he pulled back to stare down at you fondly, "I don't mean it like that, just that... You're struggling. I can see that. But you're not alone, I'm here with you, and I got a little caught up in my head when I realized someone was so very dependent on me - it fucking scared me. But then... Then you just shut yourself off and hid away from me, and oh, my God, it's so much worse, baby. Don't do that," he breathed, "okay? Don't ever shut me out - don't stop loving me, don't stop talking to me, don't give up on us. I can't read your mind, you can't read mine, it's not an excuse - but we understand better when we trust each other enough to communicate what's required. I'm so sorry I got caught up in myself, I didn't know what you needed - but I'm here now, I'm here - I'm not leaving you."

You collapsed into his chest, taking a shuddering breath.

"Don't ever stop talking to me, Peach," Bucky whispered, kissing the top of your head; keeping you close. "I'm so sorry, baby, if I - "

"If?" You snapped, pulling back to glare at him through your tears. "I heard you, Bucky. I heard you talking to Sam and Steve, and about how clingy I am."

"I was wrong," he insisted. "I was overwhelmed and tired and just stretched thin, the easiest thing to do is attack those closest to me, and that's you. It's not right, it's the worst I could do to you after all you've been through, and I'm so sorry. I was wrong, you're not the person to take this out on - and I'm so sorry, Peach."

You sighed, "I don't mean to be... I don't mean to cling - "

"Nah," he chuckled, caressing your cheek, "you cling as much as you want. Cling as tight as you want, baby, don't let me go. I'm sorry for what I said and the way it made you feel, it was wrong - so fucking wrong of me, and I see that. When you pulled away from me, I just... I couldn't think. It felt so wrong, and I knew it was my fault." He took your face in both palms, promising, "I'm so sorry, Peach."

You shrugged meekly, "It's okay."

"It's not."

"No, but apologizing is a step in the right direction."

He nodded, "What else can I do?"

"Nothing - "

"Peach."

You paused to think, smiling shyly, "Movie night?"

"Whatever my pretty girl wants," he nodded.

"Hmm... Get a bath with me?"

"All right... Sure, okay..."

"And face masks."

He sighed, "Okay."

"And mani-pedis."

"Baby."

"You said you were making it up to me, right?"

He smirked, "That's right... All right, yeah, sure, fine, we can..." He sighed again, "We can do all that, Peach, whatever you want."

"I just want you," you told him softly. "I didn't mean to be so clingy. I was just afraid... I felt afraid everyday, just so very unsure in this life. You're the only thing that makes sense to me, Buck, and when I heard you, I just... I guess I realized how dependent I'd been and wanted to give you space. Last thing I want is to smother you, to drive you away from me."

"Not ever gonna happen," he promised softly. "I just didn't handle it like I should've. I'm sorry, Peach, but I'm here now - for whatever you need. Want me to take a few days off, just be together? I'll arrange it. Want to get away for a bit? We can go."

"I just need you," you whispered. "Only you and I should be okay - I can be okay if I have you, but feeling like I lost you? Even a fraction? Buck... James, it was such a harrowing feeling, I wasn't sure what to do to move forward. So, I think I just panicked, shut down; thought if I could just get back to normal, you'd love me again..."

"I never stopped loving you," he swore, "I just had a bad lapse in my own judgement. Nothing against you, baby. Nothing."

You nodded again, letting him tuck you into his chest; perfectly snug under his chin as he coiled his arms around you. He let out a long sigh, his guilt swelling to new heights, but for that present moment, everything seemed okay.

Felt okay.

Appeared okay.

And you'd both do whatever it took to remain as okay as you possibly could.

requesting rules and masterlist

Marvel masterlist

Clingy Baby collection masterlist

[buck-star]

Cowboys preference| B.B

>> Little did you know that the break up with the cowboys son would lead you toward the cowboy himself who always had a liking in you. <<

Pairing: Cowboy!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Wordcount: 4.186 Words

Warnings: Minors DNI, 18+, ex-boyfriend’s dad, possessiveness, age gap, smut [fingering (fem!rec), semi public sex], bit angst, lots of fluff

Authors Note: Dividers made by me.

Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Bucky’s smirk falters the moment he hears the door cracking open and two voices. He isn’t surprised to hear two different ones — he’s surprised that the one isn’t the person he assumed would come over today. His eyes narrow as the girl laughs — she isn’t supposed to laugh and giggle around his son like that. She isn’t even supposed to be at their house.

“Brock?” Bucky asks, growling as he sees the girl standing next to his son. She is snuggling into his side, holding Brock's arm.

Bucky’s ocean blue eyes roam over her, then toward his son. Both of them have swollen lips and messy hair. He doesn’t even want to know in which corner they made out to look like that, but he knows what else his son's little bitch means.

“Where’s she?” Bucky says in a calm voice. His heart is thrumming against his ribcage, and he needs to use all his willpower to not pin his son by his throat against the wall. Or to pick up that girl next to him to throw her out of the house. “Where’s my Y/N?”

Brock flinches when your name slips past his dad's lips. The girl next to him pulls at his arm — uncomfortable around Bucky and especially to have him staring at them with such an intense expression.

“S-she… we broke up,” Brock mumbles. His eyes dart to the girl next to him, and he lets slightly go of her hand. She looks offended, taking a step to the side while she looks between Brock and his dad. “W-we had some differences and decided to break up.”

“Ya had some differences, or do ya have a different?" Bucky raises an eyebrow. He knows exactly what’s going on, but he wants his son to say it; he wants him to say it in front of the girl he just took home. “A different little toy for ya games? I told ya that my babydoll is special, and if ya ever dare to treat her badly, I will take care of my babydoll, and you can fuck off here.”

Brock's eyes widen, and he shakes his head. “N-no. It’s not like that! Y-you know I- she…” He stutters, his eyes widening as he takes a step to the side, further away from the girl. “It’s all… It’s just a big, really big misunderstanding. I made a mistake; I-i don’t think..."

The moment you took the first step into their house, Bucky was head over heels in love with you. You’re the most precious and sweetest girl he has ever met. He knows about Brock's liking to play with girls, but he made sure that Brock would be better with you — which he definitely isn’t. Bucky’s blood boils, and his heart rate increases while he inhales deeply.

“A mistake? It’s a mistake to treat ya girl like that? She fuckin’ loved ya and ya threw her — ya relationship away — for a girl that wets your fuckin’ cock?” Bucky asks, his voice dangerously low.

Brock backs away; he knows that his dad is protective about you. Your soul is so precious, so soft, and he only wants to protect it from being broken. He doesn’t want your soul to get hurt; he doesn’t want you to get hurt. And his own kid hurt like no one ever should do it.

“Did she see ya kissing her?” Brock's eyes widened at his dad’s question. You didn’t just see them kissing; you saw much more than that. And it wasn’t the first time — you kept it for yourself; another time you talked to him, and he told you he wouldn’t cheat on you again. And here he is — standing in front of his dad, having to explain that the girl next to him — who isn’t you — is the one he cheated on you with.

The look on Brock's face told him everything he had to know. Without another word, he pushes his son to the side and stomps through the floor toward the door. Bucky slams the door shut behind him; with a smooth movement, he takes on his cowboy boots and takes his hat from the door handle.

At some point he started to place his hat at the door handle. He places it firmly on his head, huffing. He can’t believe his son — an immature little boy who doesn’t even know how to take care of such an amazing and sweet girl that you are.

Bucky knows where you are; he knows you better than everyone. Whenever you’re feeling stressed or sad, you’re sitting in the barn on his farm with your favorite horse in the box. You named him, and Bucky can’t help but love the horse just as much as you — maybe it’s because of you, but maybe it’s also because you named him. You named it.

“Babydoll?” Bucky calls you when he enters the barn. The familiar smell of the hay immediately comes to his nostrils, but there is that scent of something so sweet — something he remembers so well. “Babydoll, I know ya’re here. It’s smelling like ya sweet perfume, smelling just like ya sweetness, babydoll.”

You wipe the tears immediately away as you hear Bucky’s voice and his footsteps coming closer to where you are. You should have known that he knows where you are and that he will look for you when Brock comes home alone or maybe even with the girl that just sucked him off.

How stupid you were. Thinking that he would change for you, that he would stop cheating on you. You thought that when Bucky can be such an amazing person, his son could be too, but you were wrong. Brock is the opposite of his dad. And even though things weren't as perfect anymore and your feelings for Brock faded away, you tried to make it work — but Brock didn't, and one-sided just doesn’t work.

“Babydoll, don’t ignore me. Come on, know ya’re in the box with him,” Bucky chuckles as he stops in front of the box and looks into it. He’s seeing you sitting in the corner of the box in the hay. Your eyes are red and puffy, and a low groan escapes his throat.

Bucky hates to see you like that, knowing that his son did this to you. He can’t help the clenching of his heart when he sees you pressed into the corner, your legs close to your chest and your arms wrapped around you. No one dares to hurt his babydoll, no one without consequences.

“Hi, babydoll,” he says softly, walking closer before he lets himself fall into the hay next to you. There is still some distance, but he can smell your sweetness even better now. “Ya know, he’s a dick. He doesn’t deserve ya if he doesn’t know how to treat ya right. Ya’re such a pretty girl, with a beautiful soul.”

You smile softly, turning your head to look at Bucky. His eyes are focused on the horse in front of him, which eats and doesn’t bother to have two guests in his box. You have the urge to grasp his hat and put it on your head; you always do it.

The first time you did it, your ex-boyfriend looked really shocked, while Bucky smirked at you. He loves to see you with his hat; it’s so intimidating and cute. When you asked him why they were staring at you like that, he explained it, and your reaction was the most funny but most adorable thing he has ever seen.

“Ya know, if ya wear a cowboys hat, it means ya his,” Bucky explains with a huge grin on his plump lips. Your eyes widened, and you thought about taking the hat off again, but it felt just so perfect that you didn’t want to take it off. “So, when ya wearin’ my hat, it means ya mine.”

Brock huffed, rolling his eyes about the glistening that sparkled in your orbs. He couldn’t understand the bond you and his dad had; you couldn’t either. At least for a while you couldn’t.

Around Bucky, everything feels just perfect; you feel safe and protected, even loved. You first thought it’s just a typical “girls your age like someone who’s nice and willing to protect them,” but at some point there wasn’t anyone else in your mind when you were alone.

Brock turned more and more into an idiot, and you found comfort in his dad. When Brock started to cheat and you found out your world broke into pieces, Bucky was there. He didn’t know why you were crying when you were suddenly standing in the door; you just said family problems, and he offered you comfort.

Little did you know that Bucky felt loved and happy by giving you comfort. You just sat there, watched the most cheesy movies, baked, or you just were in the stable.

“Ya lookin’ at my hat; do ya want to wear it, babydoll?” His voice interrupts your thoughts, and you feel your cheeks heating up. You should know now that this man notices when you stare at him.

Bucky doesn’t need an answer; he shuffles closer to you and takes his hat to place it on your head. His smile grows as he runs his rough fingers down your cheeks to your chin. He turns your face toward him, his ocean blue eyes staring intensely into yours to see any sign of discomfort.

When he doesn’t see anything but the softness and affection he has with his touch, he keeps his fingers where they are. “He already did it before, didn’t he? He cheated on ya and ya knew it. Did ya see him cheating?”

You swallow thickly as the memories of Brock with the other girl come back to your mind. The way he kneeled in front of you the first time you found out he cheated, his expression pleading that you forgive him for cheating because he didn’t even know why he did it. And you accepted his apology to find out he did it again — he cheated on you so often, you don’t even know how often he cheated with some girls on you.

“H-he…” You trail off, trying to find some more comfort in Bucky’s soft touch. His thumb moves toward your cheek, and he caresses it softly while his fingers wrap around the back of your neck. “He cheated on me really often. I thought he would stop after I found out, but he said he would. But he didn't, and today I saw him getting his… you know, sucked by her.”

Bucky smirks softly when you avoid using the word “cock” or “dick” in front of him. He nods, knowing what you mean. "That's why ya were here so often?”

You nod, then you shake your head. You earn a confused, slightly amused look from Bucky. You run your tongue over your bottom lip, wetting it slightly before you clear your throat to speak again. Bucky’s eyes follow every little movement, his eyes darting from your lips to your eyes, and he chuckles.

“Not just because of that. First yes, kinda. But then there was another reason,” you say softly, leaning more into Bucky’s gentle touch. “But then... with the time I-i lost feelings for Brock after I noticed that he’s still cheating on me. But you… you’re my safe place; when I’m around you, I can be just myself without judgment.”

Bucky grins at you, scooting closer until your legs touch slightly. His softness sends shivers through your body, and you look away with heated cheeks. Those words mean so much more to him than you can imagine. He has dreamed to hear them out of your pretty mouth; he has wished to hear them one day. As much as he’s mad at Brock for pushing you away and fucking another girl, he loves that at least he himself is more for you than just your ex-boyfriend's dad.

“Ya know, ya got my attention the moment ya stepped into our house. But when ya just took my hat, my heart started to beat for ya — it was always a taboo thing since you were with my son. But I got an eye on ya the whole time, babydoll.” Bucky confesses, smirking at you. He can't help himself anymore — he wants to tell you everything he feels for you. He wants to be honest with you, and maybe... Maybe the two of you will have a chance as a couple.

You giggle, then you inhale deeply. You feel guilty, not because you don't feel like Bucky but because of the words you're going to say next. At the same time, you're happy that you can finally say it out loud.

“I stayed with Brock because I thought we could fix it. I thought it at the start, but then it changed. The truth is, I stayed with him because it was the only way to be close to you. I'm just your son's little girlfriend, so you know,” you mumble, looking down at your fingers.

Bucky moves next to you slightly, his face suddenly in front of you, and you notice that he moves to kneel in front of you. His fingers find their way underneath your chin, and he lifts it up. “Ya were never just my son's little girlfriend. Ya were always my babydoll, and ya will be exactly that forever. I love ya more than ya know.”

He opens his arms for you, waiting until you crawl into them. His warm embrace lets you relax immediately. You sigh softly, leaning your back against his broad chest, enjoying the feeling of his fingers trailing up and down your sides. Bucky lowers his head to your neck, his lips just inches away from your sensitive skin, and you shiver in his arms.

“There ya go; do ya trust me? Do ya trust me and let me make ya feel good?” He asks, his voice way lower than before, and you nod, hypnotized by his presence. Bucky chuckles, his warm breath all over the side of your neck and causing goosebumps. Bucky's hands trail lower to your thighs, rubbing and squeezing them carefully. “If ya want me to stop you say it, do ya understand?”

You nod again, earning a harsher squeeze of your thigh. Bucky loves the effect he has on you, but for the moment he needs a proper answer to make sure you understand him. “Y-Yes, I understood, but please...”

Bucky chuckles, his lips finally touching your neck, and you lean even more into him. His soft lips brush over your skin, and you can't help the small whimpers leaving your lips. He slides his metal hand underneath your shirt, caressing the soft skin of your tummy, while he strokes your thigh with his fleshy hand.

“But please, what? Use ya pretty mouth and tell me what ya need." Buck groans into your ear, his fingers sliding further up to your covered cunt. His thick cock is pressing hard against your back, and you can’t help but squirm in his embrace.

“Need you… Bucky, I need you, please,” you whine, throwing your head against his shoulder, looking deep into his blue eyes.

Bucky grins, his lips trailing over your neck, leaving soft kisses all over your skin. You whimper, fingers digging into his thick thighs on both of your sides. He brings his big hands further up your thighs, kneading your soft skin, making you gasp when his rough hands get closer to your pussy.

“That’s what ya need? A man who can take care of ya, don’t ya?” He asks, sucking blue and purple marks into the sensitive skin of your neck. Bucky brings his metal hand to cup your cunt through the pants, massaging you through the fabric.

A soft moan slips past your lips, and Bucky didn’t know he could become more obsessed with you. But after the sweet sound you just made, he can’t help himself but falls even more in love with you.

With his other hands, he opens your pants, his hand sliding into them and underneath your cotton panties. Bucky groans into your neck, kissing along your pulse point. You whimper softly; his fingers are not really cold, but they aren’t as warm as your covered skin either. You shiver under his touch once again. Bucky guides his thick fingers through your folds, humming when he feels the wetness against his rough fingertips.

“Already so wet for me, babydoll.” His voice is low, rougher than usual, and you can’t help the moan that slips past his lips. This man is just too hot for his own good, finger-fucking you in the hay while everyone could walk in and could hear and see the two of you. “Fuck, love ya so much, my precious girl.”

Bucky pushes one of his digits into you, moaning when your tightness sucks him deeper into your warmth. Whines and moans fall from your parted lips, turning Bucky on beyond belief.

You throw your head back; your eyes widen slightly when he starts thrusting into you, immediately hitting your sweet spot. “Fucking shit!”

“No one's ever fucked ya probably?” He asks, earning a shake of your head. He chuckles, increasing his speed slightly while he hits the spot over and over again. “And I’m just fuckin’ ya with my finger. But don’t worry, got ya now, babydoll.”

You nod, whining when he pushes a second digit into you. The stretch is almost more than you ever felt. Brock wasn’t too bad either, but Bucky’s fingers are just so thick — muscular and perfect. Bucky chuckles against your neck, kissing your skin and sucking even more marks into your neck, making sure they are visible.

Pumping his fingers in and out of you makes you see stars already, but when he starts scissoring his fingers and curling them upwards to hit your sweet spot, you feel the look in your stomach tightening.

Your mouth drops open, saliva runs down your chin, and you don’t even try to hold back your moans. Your hips move in the same rhythms as Bucky’s fingers, bringing you closer to your orgasm.

“Mhm-B-Bucky…” you mumble, arching your back. The pleasure he causes with just his fingers is so much better than you have ever experienced before. He grunts, letting you know that he listens to you. “Please, d-do— s-stop.”

Your words don’t even make sense anymore, but you don’t care. Bucky laughs behind you; his free hand placed itself around your throat, pulling you further back until he could look into your face. “Ya want me to stop?”

Before you can answer him, he stops the movements of his fingers, earning a whine. You move your hips, trying to get some friction, but it doesn’t feel as good as before. His fingers don't curl; they don’t hit the spot that makes you see stars.

You lean your head back, causing the hat to almost fall down, but Bucky holds it on top of your head with his shoulder. “Don’t want the hat to fall off ya head, huh. Shows who ya belong to, babydoll. Mine, all mine, aren’t ya, babydoll?”

“Y-yes… y-yours… please— fu-fuck, Bucky,” you moan while you try to form a proper sentence with his fingers still deep inside of you. Bucky grunts once again, his digits moving and pressing against the spongy spot inside of you. You almost scream as pleasure shoots through your body, making it impossible to concentrate on something else but his fingers.

Bucky laughs, kissing your cheek before he moves his fingers again. He just wanted to hear you say that you’re his and that you belong to him. His cock is painfully hard, pressing against his pants, but he doesn’t care; he wants to see you fall apart on his fingers before he thinks about his problem.

“Yeah, come on, babydoll. Come all over my fingers. Can feel that ya close,” he mumbles, bringing his thumb to your clit. He runs his thumb through your folds before circling your clit.

Without another thought or word, you moan his name loudly, your fingers digging into his thick thighs as you come all over his fingers. Your body is shaking, but Bucky doesn’t stop his movements; he thrusts his fingers in a steady but slower rhythm into you, making sure that you can ride your orgasm out.

Your pussy is hugging him tightly; the imagination of how good his cock would fill you comes to his mind, and he groans, thrusting against you from behind.

“Do ya feel that? Fuckin’ hard for ya, babydoll,” he mumbles. Bucky smirks when he sees the soft smile on your lips. You look fucked out, but the smile makes his heart flatter. “Fucked ya so good, can’t even form proper words? It’s okay, I’m gonna take care of ya.”

You nod, breathing still heavy, and sweat is covering your forehead. Saliva is still dripping down your chin, and Bucky tilts your head so he can lick away your spit. A groan leaves his plump lips as he swallows. His tongue darts out once more, licking away more of your saliva.

“Tastin’ good. Now lemme taste ya sweet pussy…” he mumbles more to himself as he removes his fingers from your cunt. A soft pout forms on your lips, and Bucky can’t help but chuckle at your sweet expression. “Jus’ being fucked by me and already wantin’ more? Such a good girl, my good girl.”

Bucky brings both of his thick fingers to his lips, pushing them between his lips as a low, pornographic moan leaves his lips. “Fuckin’ shit, could eat ya out all day.”

“What—“ an almost high-pitched voice comes from the entrance, and Bucky turns around, looking at his son. You’re still sitting between his thighs, your head resting against his shoulder and your hat on your head. Bucky still has his fingers in his mouth, sucking on them while he stares at Brock.

His son's face heats up, an expression between disgust and anger on his face while he looks from Bucky at you and back at his father. It’s not hard to find out what the two of you just did, especially not since Brock heard some of your talks and then moans.

“Did you just— fuck, take your fingers out of your mouth. You just fucked my girlfriend!” Brock growls at his dad. He rolls his eyes, annoyed, and waits for Bucky to do as he’s told.

Bucky slowly pulls his fingers with a plop out of his mouth, stroking one of your sides with one hand while he glares at Brock. Bucky didn’t pull his fingers out of his mouth because his son said so; he did it to smirk at him before speaking.

“Ya girlfriend? My babydoll isn’t ya girlfriend. Ya pushed her away and fucked around. Ya think I will let anyone touch my girl who isn’t me?” Bucky asks in a dangerously calm tone. “I don’t even let ya touch her unless she wants ya to. But do we want to ask her?”

You shake your head, not wanting Brock to touch you. “I’m yours, Bucky, all yours, cowboy,” you giggle and look at him. Bucky’s attention is all in you when you speak, his ocean blue eyes glistening with love and affection when he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead, then down over your nose until he pecks your lips softly.

“Don’t ya worry, ya get lots of kisses. And then I can make ya feel good all night,” Bucky smirks at you, then he turns his face toward his son again. “‘Cause ya planned to be with ya girlfriend anyway, right?”

Brock looks down, nodding. Bucky smirks, shaking his head — he never thought his son would be that stupid to push you away, but he’s happy he did. Because Bucky loves you, he really does, and you will show you in every way possible. He doesn’t care what Brock says about Bucky’s loving you. As long as he has you, as long as you’re happy and get everything he can give you, he will never care about anyone else but you.

“My babydoll, I love ya,” he mumbles and gets up, lifting you after Brock walked back to his car to meet his girlfriend like he had planned to do anyway before he caught the two of you.

“I love you too, my cowboy,” you giggle. You can’t help the way you carve your lips, so you lean your head closer toward his and press your lips against Bucky’s plump ones. He groans, massaging your ass and deepening the kiss, letting your tongue dance with one another's. His babydoll with his hat, you made him crazy the first time he saw you, when you first wore his head, and now you belong to the cowboy, and you couldn’t be happier. Not when you have the sweetest and most caring man you can ask for, your Bucky, your cowboy.

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Taglist: @pono-pura-vida @sergeantbarnessdoll @rogersbarber @kimmie113080

[the-winter-spider]

Invisible | Part 15

Pairings: Bucky x reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: unrequited love, angst, heartache...

A/N: A lot is said in this one lol not between bucky and her yet but you'll see lol. Also the flashbacks kinda tie into the chapters! The mike flashback will finish in the next chapter when her and bucky finally hash it out lmao

The city buzzed around you, but it all felt distant—like you were moving through a world that didn’t quite belong to you. Your feet carried you aimlessly, dodging crowds and cars, your mind swirling with everything you’d just said to Bucky. Everything he’d done. Everything you’d felt for so long but couldn’t say out loud until tonight.

Eventually, you found yourself in a quieter part of the city. The hum of traffic and voices softened, replaced by the rustle of leaves and the occasional bark of a distant dog. You spotted a park bench under a flickering streetlight and sank onto it, your body heavy, your heart even heavier.

You sat there for a while, trying to steady your breathing, focusing on the cool air filling your lungs. In and out. In and out. But no matter how hard you tried, the tears wouldn’t stop. You wiped at them furiously, frustrated at how raw and exposed you felt.

You just don’t understand. Your brain can’t even begin to piece together how Bucky could do this. How have you been hurting him? You’ve been nothing but a great friend—loving him from the sidelines for so long. And now, when you finally have a chance at something outside of him, he crushes it.

A dark thought creeps in, twisting the knife further. Maybe, deep down, Bucky never truly was your friend. Maybe he secretly resents you because you could never do to him what he’s done to you. Maybe he hates you for making him feel something he can’t figure out how to handle.

But then another realization crashes over you, colder than the first. Have you been doing this to Steve the whole time? All these years, if what Bucky said is true—if Steve really is in love with you—oh god. Have you been breaking his heart, too?

The thought hits you like a freight train, leaving you breathless. Steve. You’ve been so consumed by your feelings for Bucky, by the endless cycle of longing and heartbreak, that you never stopped to consider the weight of your own actions. If what Bucky said was true, if Steve really had been in love with you all these years…

Your chest tightens as you think back to every lingering glance, every reassuring touch, every moment when Steve was there, steady and unwavering. He had always been your rock, the one person who could ground you when everything else fell apart. How many times had you leaned on him, venting about Bucky, crying on his shoulder, seeking comfort without a second thought?

And all the while, he was—what? Silently pining for you? Loving you in a way you never noticed because you were too busy looking at someone else?

The guilt settles in your stomach like a lead weight. What have I done to him?

You run a hand through your hair, your fingers trembling. Have I been doing to Steve exactly what Bucky’s doing to me? Leading him on, even if unintentionally? Letting him love you while you poured all your love into someone else?

It’s too much. Your thoughts spiral, memories flashing like scenes from a movie. Steve’s quiet smiles, the way he always showed up when you needed him, the way he seemed to know you better than anyone else. How could you have been so blind?

But then your mind snaps back to Bucky. Bucky. The thought of him twists the knife in your chest all over again. His words, his actions—they’re like a tangled web, one you can’t seem to escape. You replay the fight in your head, the way his blue eyes burned with frustration, with something deeper and more vulnerable hidden beneath the surface.

He said you hurt him. That you hurt Steve. That you think you’re the only one who’s been in pain. How could he say that to you?

But the worst part is, he wasn’t entirely wrong. You’ve been so consumed by your own heartbreak, by the years of loving Bucky in silence, that maybe you didn’t see the ways you’ve hurt the people around you. Maybe you were so focused on surviving your own pain that you ignored theirs.

Your tears blur your vision as you stare at the empty park in front of you. What if Bucky’s right? What if you’ve been selfish this whole time? What if, despite everything, you’ve been blind to the way your actions ripple through the lives of the people you care about most?

You lean forward, elbows on your knees, and bury your face in your hands. The city feels impossibly big around you, like it could swallow you whole. The weight of your thoughts presses down on you, suffocating in its intensity.

But there’s one thought that refuses to let go: Why does it feel like everything you touch falls apart?

You’ve spent so many years loving Bucky, holding onto a hope that maybe, someday, he’d see you the way you see him. And now? Now you’re not even sure what any of it means anymore. The fight, the hurt, the years of unspoken feelings—they’re all crashing down around you, and you don’t know how to make sense of it.

And Steve. Sweet, dependable Steve. You think about the way he looked at you earlier, his eyes filled with something you now recognize as quiet resignation. How long has he been carrying that? How long has he been holding onto a love he knew you couldn’t return?

A fresh wave of tears threatens to spill over, but you blink them back, your hands clenching into fists. You’ve been selfish. Blind. And now it’s all unraveling.

The night stretches on, cold and unyielding, as you sit there, trying to piece together the shattered fragments of your relationships. You feel like a puzzle with missing pieces, and you’re not sure how to put yourself back together. Or if you even can.

You didn’t even flinch when someone sat beside you. You didn’t have to look to know who it was.

Because of course, it was Steve.

It was always Steve.

He didn’t say anything, just sat there, his broad frame a steady, comforting presence. You could feel his eyes on you, filled with quiet concern, but he didn’t push you to speak. He just waited.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally wiped at your cheeks one last time, sniffling softly as you turned to face him. The weight of everything Bucky had said still lingered, and the words tumbled out before you could stop them.

“Is it true?”

Steve’s brow furrowed slightly. “What?”

You held his gaze, searching his face for any sign of denial. But he only looked confused until you asked again, this time without words. Just a look, one that carried all the weight of Bucky’s earlier confession.

Steve’s face softened, his shoulders sagging slightly as he let out a quiet sigh. He didn’t look away, didn’t try to deflect or change the subject. He just nodded, his voice low and steady.

“Yes.”

The world seemed to tilt for a moment, your breath catching in your throat. You blinked at him, trying to process what that single word meant, what it changed.

“How long?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Steve gave you a sad, almost apologetic smile. “Since high school,” he admitted. “Maybe even longer.”

Your heart ached, the weight of his words settling over you. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Steve looked down at his hands, his fingers fidgeting slightly. “Because I saw how you looked at him. And as much as it hurt, I wasn’t going to stand in the way of that.” He paused, his voice softening further. “You’ve always been happiest when you’re with him.”

You stared at him, your chest tightening. All the moments you’d shared with Steve over the years—the lingering glances, the quiet support, the unwavering presence—it all made sense now. “Steve…”

He gave you a small, reassuring smile. “I’m not telling you this to make things harder. I just… I wanted you to know the truth. You deserve that much.”

The tears threatened to fall again, but you swallowed them back. “You’re such a good friend, Steve,” you whispered.

He nodded, his smile bittersweet. “Yeah. I’ll always be that, no matter what.”

The two of you sat in silence for a while longer, the weight of the conversation settling between you. But despite the heaviness, there was a sense of clarity—a new understanding of the bond you shared.

Steve sat quietly beside you, the weight of your conversation pressing heavily between you. The hum of the city seemed to fade away, leaving only the soft rustle of leaves and the distant chirp of crickets. After a long stretch of silence, he took a deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Can I ask you something?”

You turned your head slightly, meeting his cautious gaze. “Yeah, of course” you said softly.

Steve hesitated, his jaw tightening as if he was bracing himself. “Do you think… you could ever love me? More than a friend, I mean?”

The question hung in the air, heavy and loaded. You froze, your heart thudding painfully in your chest. It wasn’t unexpected, not after everything Bucky had said and the way Steve had just confessed his feelings. But hearing it out loud was different. It made it real.

For a moment, you didn’t answer, your mind racing. You thought back to all the times Steve had been there for you, all the quiet moments you’d shared, the safety and comfort he provided. You thought about how easy it would be to fall for him—to love someone as steady and kind as Steve.

And maybe… maybe you could have. Before the last couple of weeks, before everything with Bucky had come to a head. There was a time when things weren’t so complicated, and you might have let yourself feel more for Steve. But now?

Now your heart was a tangled mess of longing and pain, and you couldn’t see past Bucky.

You exhaled shakily, your voice breaking. “I don’t think I can,” you admitted, tears pricking at your eyes. “Not now. Maybe… maybe once, I could have. But everything’s different now.”

Steve’s face didn’t change much, but the way his shoulders sagged slightly told you he’d braced himself for this. “I see,” he said quietly, his voice steady but laced with sadness.

Your chest tightened painfully. “I’m sorry, Steve. You have no idea how much I wish I could. It would make everything so much easier.”

The tears you’d been holding back finally spilled over, and you buried your face in your hands. “You deserve so much better than this, better than me,” you choked out. “You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart.”

Steve reached out instinctively, his hand hovering near your shoulder. “Hey, don’t—”

But you pulled away, shaking your head. “Please don’t, Steve. I can’t let you do that,” you said, your voice trembling. “I can’t let you be the one to pick me up when I’m falling apart. Not like this.”

His hand dropped, and he swallowed hard, nodding slowly. “Okay,” he said, his voice low. “I get it.”

You both sat in silence again, the weight of unspoken words pressing down on you. Steve was always the one who stayed, the one who tried to make everything okay. But now, you’d drawn a line, and it felt like a small piece of your heart broke just from doing it.

“I’ll still be here,” he said finally, his voice soft but firm. “Whenever you’re ready, however you need me. That doesn’t change.”

You nodded, the tears still falling. “Thank you,” you whispered. “For everything. You’ve always been too good to me, i've never deserved this, i never deserved you”

Steve gave you a small, bittersweet smile, “You deserve the world” and you could see the depth of his love in his eyes. Even now, even when it hurt, he was still there. And that was what made it all so much harder.

Steve sat beside you, silent, the weight of your shared history and unspoken feelings hanging heavily in the cool night air. You’d both said so much, yet there was still an ache between you, a lingering sense that this moment wasn’t finished.

After a few moments, Steve reached into his jacket pocket, his hand hesitating before he pulled out a small, familiar object. The soft glow of the nearby street lights reflected off the delicate gold of the locket, the one you’d seen weeks ago at the farmers market, the one that reminded you so much of the one your mother gave you, and hers before that, the one you carelessly lost at that stupid party. He turned it over in his fingers for a moment, his expression unreadable, before holding it out to you.

Your breath hitched as you recognized it immediately. “Steve…”

He gave you a small, almost shy smile. “I’ve been holding onto this for a while,” he said softly. “I wasn’t sure when the right time would be, or if there even would be a right time.”

You stared at the locket, your heart twisting painfully. “You bought it?” you whispered, your voice trembling.

He nodded. “I saw how much it reminded you of what you loss, when i brought it home to exam in i opened it up” he paused opening it up and your heart stopped, your grandma's note “The lady said her daughter found it at some party and thought she could make some money at the market”

Steve’s words lingered in the cool night air as he handed the locket to you, his fingers brushing yours for just a second. The warmth of his touch, so brief yet grounding, contrasted sharply with the whirlwind of emotions surging through you.

You took the locket gingerly, your eyes wide, the gold chain glinting in the soft glow of the streetlights. Your fingers traced the familiar curves and edges as though to confirm it was real. You opened it carefully, your breath catching when you saw the tiny, worn note tucked inside—the same one your grandmother had written years ago. You traced the intricate design, your mind flashing back to the day you’d first seen it, the quiet hope you’d felt, and the weight of everything that had happened since.

Tears blurred your vision. “Steve… I can’t believe this.” Your voice wavered, thick with emotion. “You didnt even know if was the one i lost, i didnt even, why would you—”

He shrugged, his smile soft, tinged with the kind of quiet understanding that only Steve could give. “I saw the way you looked at it and even i knew it was the one you lost, i just figured it could help give you a little piece of what the original one meant to you. I got lucky, when i opened it and saw that" He's gestured to your great grandma's note, "I thought, maybe—just maybe—it was meant to find its way back to you.”

You shook your head, overwhelmed. “You didn’t have to do this,” you whispered, clutching the locket tightly. “I was so careless, and I thought I lost this forever.”

Steve leaned back slightly, his hands now resting on his knees as he looked at you with a mixture of tenderness and resolve. “You didn’t lose it forever,” he said gently. “It found its way back. Just like it was suppose to. I just… I wanted to make sure it did.”

You felt your chest tighten, the weight of everything—your fight with Bucky, your complicated feelings for Steve, the memories of your mother—all pressing down on you at once. “Steve…” you started, but your words faltered as you searched for the right thing to say, the gratitude and guilt tangling inside you.

He seemed to sense your struggle, his eyes softening even further. “It’s okay,” he said quietly. “You don’t have to say anything. I just… I wanted you to have it back.”

The silence that followed was heavy but not uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that allowed you to think, to breathe, to feel. You closed the locket carefully, holding it against your chest. The cool metal pressed against your skin, a small but powerful reminder of everything you’d lost and found.

Steve’s voice broke the silence, low and full of emotion. “I know it’s not my place to fix things or to make things easier for you. But… I wanted you to know that I see you. I always have.”

“Steve,” you said again, your voice a broken whisper. “You’re… you’re too good.”

He shook his head, his eyes glistening. “No. I’m just someone who loves you, in whatever way you’ll let me.”

That broke you. A sob escaped your lips, and you covered your mouth, trying to hold yourself together. But the tears kept coming, and Steve just watched, his own eyes brimming with unshed emotion.

After a moment, you managed to look up at him, your voice barely audible. “I wish I could love you the way you deserve.”

Steve smiled gently, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I know,” he said quietly. “And it’s okay.”

You held the locket to your chest, as if it could somehow steady the storm inside you. “You’ve always been there for me,” you whispered. “Always. And I’ve never deserved it.”

Steve reached out, gently brushing a tear from your cheek. “You don’t have to deserve love,” he said softly. “You just have to let yourself feel it.”

You both sat there for a while longer, the world around you blurring into the background. Finally, Steve stood, offering you a hand to help you up.

“Come on,” he said, his voice steady. “Let’s get you home.”

You nodded, slipping the locket around your neck, feeling its weight settle against your heart. It was a piece of him, a piece of everything you shared, and it would stay with you, no matter where life took you next.

As you walked beside him, the silence between you was full of understanding. It wasn’t the ending either of you had imagined, but it was a moment of truth, a quiet acknowledgment of what had always been there and what might never be.

Summer

The sun was high, casting its golden rays over the park as laughter echoed through the wide-open fields. It was one of those rare Saturdays where everyone’s schedules aligned, and the entire group had decided to spend the day outside.

Sam had commandeered the grill, expertly flipping burgers with a pair of tongs in one hand and a beer in the other. “I’m telling you, my secret seasoning is gonna blow your minds,” he bragged, tossing a wink over his shoulder.

Natasha smirked from her spot on a picnic blanket, her sunglasses perched on her nose. “Your secret seasoning better be more than just salt and pepper, Wilson,” she shot back, taking a sip from her drink.

Wanda giggled, her legs stretched out in front of her as she picked at a bag of chips. “Sam’s been talking about his ‘grilling skills’ all week. It better be good, or we’re ordering pizza.”

“You wound me,” Sam said dramatically, clutching his chest.

Steve stood nearby, setting up a game of cornhole with Bucky. “Alright, who’s teaming up?” Steve asked, holding up the bean bags. His eyes flicked to you for a second longer than necessary before he quickly looked away.

“I’m with Nat,” Wanda chimed in, grinning as she elbowed Natasha. “We’re unbeatable.”

Natasha nodded confidently. “Damn right we are.”

Steve turned to you and Bucky. “Guess it’s us versus you two.”

You raised an eyebrow at Bucky, who was leaning lazily against a tree, sipping from his bottle of beer. “Think you can keep up, Barnes?”

He smirked, pushing off the tree to stand beside you. “I think the real question is, can you?”

The game started off competitive, with Sam and Steve shouting exaggerated encouragement from the sidelines. “Aim for the hole, Buck!” Steve yelled, laughing when Bucky glared at him after missing.

“Oh, brilliant advice, Captain Obvious,” Bucky muttered, his cheeks tinged pink. He turned to you, leaning in. “You got this, right? Show ‘em how it’s done.”

You laughed, tossing your bean bag and landing a perfect shot. “Boom,” you said, giving Bucky a playful nudge. “That’s how it’s done.”

Bucky grinned, holding up his hand for a high five. “We make a good team,” he said, his voice softer, his blue eyes twinkling.

Natasha, ever observant, raised an eyebrow behind her sunglasses but said nothing, nudging Wanda when Bucky wasn’t looking.

By the time lunch rolled around, everyone was sprawled out on the blankets, full of Sam’s surprisingly good burgers and Wanda’s homemade cookies. Steve sat cross-legged next to you, while Bucky leaned back on his elbows on your other side.

Natasha watched the scene unfold, a small smile playing on her lips. She caught Steve stealing a glance at you when you weren’t looking, and her smile faltered slightly, her fingers toying with the edge of her cup. Wanda noticed and gave her a reassuring nudge, mouthing, You okay?

Natasha nodded, brushing it off. She wasn’t about to ruin the moment.

“Alright,” Sam said, clapping his hands together. “Who’s up for some frisbee?”

Steve stood immediately. “I’m in.”

“Same,” you said, hopping up and pulling Bucky along with you. “Come on, let’s see if you’ve still got it.”

Bucky groaned but let you drag him to his feet. “I’ll show you sweetheart.’”

Natasha and Wanda stayed behind on the blanket, content to watch as you all ran around like kids. Wanda sighed happily. “This is nice,” she said, leaning back on her hands. “Feels like we haven’t done this in forever.”

Natasha nodded, her eyes following Steve as he ran after the frisbee. “Yeah,” she murmured, her voice a little distant. “It’s perfect.”

Wanda glanced at her, her brow furrowing slightly. “You’re still not gonna tell him?”

Natasha shook her head, her lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s not the right time.”

Wanda sighed but didn’t push. Instead, she watched as Steve tossed the frisbee to you, his face lighting up when you caught it with ease, your laughter ringing out. Bucky cheered you on, his arm slinging around your shoulders for a brief moment, and Wanda couldn’t help but notice the way Steve’s smile faltered, just for a second.

Despite the complicated dynamics, the love and friendship within the group were undeniable. It was in the way Sam teased everyone mercilessly but was the first to help when needed. In the way Natasha always had a sarcastic quip but fiercely defended her friends. In the way Wanda’s quiet warmth balanced out everyone’s chaos. And in the way Steve and Bucky—despite everything—always had each other’s backs. And in the way you were the glue always keeping everything and everyone together.

The afternoon faded into a golden sunset, and as you all sat together, sharing stories and laughs, it felt like nothing could break the bond you all shared.

For now, at least.

The alley was dimly lit, the only light coming from a flickering streetlamp. Bucky stormed out of the bar, his jaw clenched, his fists tight at his sides. The cool night air did little to calm the fire raging inside him. He barely made it a block before he heard the familiar sound of heels clicking rapidly behind him.

“Bucky Barnes, stop right there!” Natasha’s voice was sharp, cutting through the noise of the city.

He barely had time to turn before she grabbed his arm and shoved him against the rough brick wall of the alley, her hands pressing firmly against his chest.

“What the hell, Nat?!” Bucky snapped, but she wasn’t having it.

“No, you don’t get to talk right now!” she shot back, her green eyes blazing. “I am so sick of this, Bucky! So sick of you and her dancing around each other like you’ve got all the time in the world!”

Bucky’s mouth opened, but Natasha cut him off with a furious glare.

“You love her,” she said, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and frustration. “You’ve always loved her. And she’s loved you since before any of us even knew what love was! But you’re both so goddamn stubborn, so scared, that you’re wasting your lives.”

“Natasha, you don’t—” Bucky tried, but she jabbed a finger into his chest, stopping him cold.

“Shut up, Bucky! Just shut up and listen for once!” She stepped back, running a hand through her hair. “We’re all in our mid-twenties now. We’re not kids anymore. You and her? You were supposed to set the tone for love. You were supposed to show the rest of us that it’s worth it, that it’s real. But instead, you’re both stuck in this endless loop of fear and self-sabotage.”

Bucky’s throat tightened, his eyes flickering with guilt. “Nat, it’s not that simple…”

“Bullshit!” she shouted, her voice echoing in the narrow alley. “It is that simple! You’re scared. You’ve always been scared. But guess what? So is she! And you know what else? You’re not just hurting yourselves—you’re hurting everyone around you.”

She took a shaky breath, her voice lowering but no less intense. “Steve’s been in love with her for years, and it’s killing him. And me?” She laughed bitterly. “I’ve been in love with Steve since high school, Bucky. But do you think he’ll even look at me the way he looks at her? No. Because he’s stuck, just like you.”

Bucky’s eyes widened in shock, but Natasha wasn’t done.

“I’ve been waiting, Bucky. Waiting for Steve to see me, to love me the way he loves her. But he can’t, because you and her keep dragging this out, making it impossible for any of us to move on! And god if i told her..”

Her voice cracked, and for the first time, her anger gave way to raw vulnerability. “I can’t do it anymore, Bucky. I can’t keep watching the two people I love most in the world destroy themselves and everyone else around them.”

Bucky looked down, his heart pounding. The weight of Natasha’s words hit him like a freight train. “Natasha, I…”

She stepped closer, her voice soft but firm. “You need to tell her, Bucky. Tell her you love her. Stop running, stop hiding, and stop making excuses. She deserves to be happy. You deserve to be happy. And if you can’t do it for yourselves, then do it for the rest of us, do it for me Bucky” she pleaded

Bucky swallowed hard, his hands clenching at his sides. “What if… what if I’m too late?”

Natasha sighed, her anger softening as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “Then at least you’ll know you tried. But you won’t be too late, Bucky. She’s been waiting for you her whole life.”

She pulled back, her eyes searching his. “But this? This has to end, tonight. Go to her. Fix this. And maybe, just maybe, the rest of us can start to heal too.”

Bucky nodded slowly, his chest tight. “I’ll try.”

“You’ll do more than try,” Natasha said firmly, stepping back and crossing her arms. “Now go. Before I change my mind and punch you again.”

Bucky gave her a small, appreciative nod before he opened his mouth “Does anyone else know?” He asked, referring to her confession about Steve.

Natasha smiled sadly and said “Wanda”

College

It was one of those golden autumn afternoons, the kind where the campus was bathed in soft, honeyed light, and the air carried the faintest chill. You sat cross-legged on the quad, a pile of books spread out in front of you. The vibrant reds and oranges of the trees framed you like a painting, the wind occasionally tugging at your hair and making it dance in the sunlight.

Steve watched from a distance, leaning against a tree with a sketchbook balanced on his lap. His pencil hovered over the page, but he hadn’t drawn a single line in minutes. Instead, his eyes were fixed on you.

You were laughing, your head thrown back as Bucky said something undoubtedly ridiculous. Steve couldn’t hear the words, but he didn’t need to. He could see the way your eyes lit up, how you leaned in closer to Bucky as if the rest of the world had melted away. The way Bucky looked at you—grinning, but with an ease that Steve envied—made Steve’s chest tighten.

“You’re staring again,” Natasha’s voice broke through his thoughts, jolting him back to reality. She plopped down beside him, her sharp gaze cutting right through his defenses. “Not a good look, Rogers.”

Steve sighed, lowering his pencil. “I’m just—”

“Sketching,” she interrupted, raising an eyebrow. “Sure.”

He didn’t argue. There was no point. Natasha had known for a long time—probably since the day the three of you met her. She was good at reading people, and Steve was an open book when it came to you.

“She doesn’t see it, you know,” Natasha said after a beat, her tone softer now.

Steve glanced at her, his jaw tightening. “Doesn’t see what?”

Natasha gave him a look, one that said she wasn’t going to let him play dumb. “You. The way you look at her like she’s the only thing that matters.”

Steve let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter, does it? She only has eyes for Bucky.”

Natasha sighed, leaning back on her hands. “And Bucky… Bucky’s too blind to realize what he’s got right in front of him.”

Steve’s eyes flicked back to you. You had your hand on Bucky’s arm now, laughing at whatever joke he’d just made. Bucky, for his part, seemed blissfully unaware of the way your touch lingered just a second too long, the way your eyes softened when they met his.

Steve felt a pang of something between longing and resignation. “I just want her to be happy.”

“And what about your happiness?” Natasha asked, her voice low.

Steve didn’t answer. Instead, he flipped the page of his sketchbook, finally putting pencil to paper. He didn’t need to look up to draw you; your image was already burned into his memory. Every line of your face, every curve of your smile, every glint in your eyes.

“Maybe some people aren’t meant to have that kind of happiness,” he said quietly, more to himself than to Natasha.

Natasha sighed, her expression softening. She reached out, giving his arm a light squeeze. “You’re a good guy, Steve. But you deserve more than being someone’s second choice.”

Steve didn’t respond, his focus locked on the sketch forming beneath his hand. But deep down, he knew she was right. He deserved more. He just wasn’t sure he could ever want anyone else the way he wanted you.

Natasha’s gaze lingered on Steve for a moment longer, her hand still resting on his arm. Her heart ached, not just for him, but for herself. She’d seen the way Steve looked at you for years, and every time, it chipped away at the small sliver of hope she held onto. Steve was kind, strong, and everything she wanted, but his heart belonged to you. It always had.

“Steve,” she said softly, almost hesitant. When he didn’t respond, she pulled her hand back, folding her arms across her chest as she leaned against the tree beside him. “You deserve someone who sees you.”

Steve’s pencil paused, his hand hovering over the sketch. He glanced at her, and for a brief moment, something unspoken passed between them. But then his gaze shifted back to you, and Natasha felt her chest tighten.

The sound of your laugh carried across the quad again, pulling both their attention back to you. You looked so radiant, so alive, and so hopelessly, irretrievably in love with Bucky.

And Steve? Steve would keep loving you silently, from the sidelines, even if it tore him apart.

Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing a small smile. She’d keep loving Steve the same way, even if he never looked at her the way he looked at you.

[aquaticmercy]

Match

Summary : You finally found your intellectual match in Bucky Barnes.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x rare book dealer!reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : You and Bucky are nerds (affectionate), mentions of his past. Sexual tension-filled philosophical debate. DC comics exist in the MCU as literature as per the guardians Christmas special lol. Cursing? Steamy not smut. Fluff!!!!

Word count : 5.7k

Note : This fic was inspired by that one scene in FATWS where Bucky said he read the hobbit. I just really like the idea that Bucky really really likes to read. Enjoy!

Rare books were not just a job to you, but a vocation. You spent your days seeking out treasures, preserving them, and connecting them with people who could truly appreciate their worth. Your little shop was a haven of creaking wooden floors and shelves brimming with the worn spines of countless literary works, sunlight streaming through the tall windows.

It was your home.

On a quiet Tuesday, the bell over the door jingled.

At first, you assumed the man who walked in was lost or killing time— maybe a tourist who thought your shop was an antique or souvenir shop (you’ve gotten a lot of those over the years). 

He didn’t fit your usual profile of a customer—no tweed jackets or scholarly glasses. No suit and tie, no clean white blouse. This one was confident, albeit rough on the edges. His leather jacket and heavy boots belonged in a biker gang, his long hair brushing beautifully against his shoulders. But it was his left arm that drew your gaze—a sleek, black metal hand peeking out of his sleeve, rippling slightly when he moved.  

You recognized him instantly: James Buchanan Barnes. 

The former Winter Soldier. 

A man who belonged to history books and legends. Seeing him in person was... surreal. No article had prepared you for the magnetism he carried, no photo did him justice.

Still, you weren’t one to swoon. And you definitely weren’t about to let him see you staring a little too long into his steely blue eyes. 

“Can I help you?” you asked, keeping your voice calm and professional.

For a second, he seemed to weigh whether or not to answer. “I’m looking for a first edition of The Hobbit.”

You blinked.

That wasn’t what you’d expected. 

“It’s in the case over here,” you replied, recovering quickly. You led him to the glass display where one of your most cherished possessions lay nestled, secure and pristine.  

He muttered something like ‘just like I remember’ as he gazed at the book, his voice close to reverence.  

“Big fan?” you ventured, curious.

His lips curved up, into a faint smile. He nodded. “Always admired how he built entire worlds. The languages, the histories.” He hesitated, his voice growing quieter. “He lived through hell in the trenches, too. And from that, he wrote something… hopeful.”

You hadn’t expected that depth of understanding, and your surprise must have been obvious. “What?” he asked, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Didn’t think I’d be the type?”

This was going to be fun, you thought.

You shrugged, trying to suppress a grin, “you’re not exactly my usual Tolkien collector.”

That earned you a sweet, gentle chuckle. “I didn’t think I’d be either, but I’ve always loved books,” he admitted, “They were one of the only constants after...” His voice faltered, remnants of his past briefly flashing behind his eyes.

You didn’t press. Instead, you followed his lead, steering the conversation back to Tolkien. “You're right about the worldbuilding. He wrote a full mythology— linguistic and cultural foundations and all. It’s like he created an alternate history.”

“Exactly.” Bucky’s smile returned, brighter this time. It had been ages since Bucky had an engaging, meaningful conversation that wasn’t about mission planning, let alone about a book. The heated, faceless debates with internet strangers—each convinced they were ultimately correct—definitely didn’t count. “It’s that attention to detail— You don’t see that much anymore.”

After that, the two of you fell into a rhythm, talking easily for nearly an hour. About Tolkien’s works, his love for language, and the way war had shaped his narratives. You even mentioned how Tolkien’s own experiences in World War I echoed the camaraderie and loss found in his stories. Bucky nodded along, sharing personal observations that surprised you—not just because of their insight, but because of how much he genuinely cared.

Back in the day, everyone saw Bucky as the classic jock, and to be fair, he was. But beneath the effortless charm, he was a nerd at heart—fascinated by books, obsessed with science, and captivated by innovation. It was Bucky who had dragged Steve along to the World Exposition of Tomorrow, it was Bucky who was eager to see Howard Stark’s presentation on flying cars. Back then, the future had been his fixation. It had been out of reach— a world of endless possibilities. 

Now, he was drawn to the past. 

He’d fallen in love with reading again. After all, he had a century of literature to catch up on. And with the internet at his fingertips, he had access to more knowledge and stories than he could have dreamed of. 

40s Bucky would’ve had a heart attack from the sheer volume of information he could consume. For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t just chasing a vision of what might be—he was immersing himself in what already was.

Eventually, the conversation drifted to The Lord of the Rings. 

“Did you read the trilogy?” you asked.

He nodded. “Only a couple of years ago. I didn’t even realize it was published after… everything.” He paused, frowning slightly, as if reaching into the murky depths of his memory. 

Right. You did a quick mental tally based on the books you’ve read about him. The Hobbit was published in 1937, and The Fellowship of the Ring in 1954. Bucky was presumed killed in action in 1945 and captured by a terrorist organization. So, yeah—he’d missed it.

“Hydra,” you said the thought allowed before you could stop yourself.

You winced, bracing for impact. Oh no, you thought, have I crossed a line?

“You read about me?” he asked to your surprise, likely catching you deep in thought. 

You shrugged, trying to play it cool, though your heart still beat out your chest. “Superheroes are a popular topic for peer-reviewed journals and doctoral theses. There’s a whole academic subfield about the Winter Soldier— a lot about your role in the war, too.”

His expression was unreadable, but you thought you saw a flicker of something— amusement? Whatever it was, it eased the tension you had accidentally created, and the conversation resumed.

You’ve read plenty about Bucky Barnes—the sharpshooter of the Howling Commandos, Captain America’s trusted sniper. You’ve probably read more about him in the modern age: scholars debating the pardon of the Winter Soldier, professors discussing the Sokovia Accords— a conflict in which he’d been a major player in. You’d disagreed with the Accords, of course, but that’s a story for another time. 

Right now, your focus was on the man in front of you, talking about Tolkien and his wonderful languages. See, the peer-reviewed articles about him had painted a stark picture: a kind soul turned into a cold, unfeeling weapon. But they neglected to mention that even after everything, he was still a kind soul. In person, it was hard to reconcile the man before you with the image of a killer. 

The paper also failed to mention a pleasant surprise: his mind. You realised now that Bucky Barnes wasn’t just a soldier; he was sharp, curious, a man who loved literature and sought out conversations that challenged him. It was something the world overlooked.

Yet it was there, just beneath the surface.

“Have you read the Silmarillion?” you ventured.

“I tried,” He grimaced. “Felt like reading a textbook. Not sure I even made it halfway.”

“That’s fair,” you admitted with a laugh. “It’s not the easiest read. But it’s worth it, I promise.”

Bucky didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t shut the idea down, either.  

You made a snap decision. Reaching behind the counter, you pulled out your personal copy of The Silmarillion. It wasn’t a rare edition, but it was filled with your notes in the margins, a map you’d sketched for reference, and little Post-its marking key passages. “Take this,” you offered, holding it out to him.

He hesitated, not used to kindness from beautiful strangers. “You sure?”

“Absolutely. Hopefully the notes will make it easier. And don’t even worry about returning it,” you nodded, “It’s probably for the best. I obsess over it too much.”

He took the book, his metal fingers brushing against yours as he did, making your stomach flutter. “Thanks.”

“And if you’re curious about all those papers written about you...” You looked through bookmarks on your laptop, typing ‘James Barnes’ into the search bar. You jotted down a list of academic articles you’d read— some about his time in WWII, others about his unique role as a postwar icon. “Here. If you want to see what people are saying.”

He smiled that kind smile again, folding the paper carefully and tucked it into his jacket. “I appreciate it.”

When he left with the first edition of The Hobbit, your annotated Silmarillion, and your list of articles about him, you found yourself staring at the door long after it had closed, hoping it wasn’t the last time he’d visit your shop. 

—

Bucky started coming in more frequently, always buying another rare book— Hemingway, Orwell, Lovecraft. The pretense was paper-thin, though, and you both knew it. 

Sure, he enjoyed books, but by that point he knew he could’ve gotten cheaper copies on a bid online (rent in a big city was expensive)— and the books he bought weren't even that rare. 

Each visit turned into a lengthy discussion that carried you through the night, far past the shop’s usual closing time.  

One afternoon, he returned something unexpected: your well-worn copy of The Silmarillion. Admittedly, you’d  missed it—  its once-pristine pages now brimming with additional notations—his handwriting mixing with yours.  

“I had to,” he said, an almost sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “Your notes made me see it differently. It felt like a conversation.” 

You opened it, thumbing through the pages, your eyes catching his commentary. He had sharp, incisive thoughts: challenging some of your interpretations, expanding on others, and sometimes adding playful jabs in the margins when he disagreed with your analysis.

“This is dangerous,” you said, glancing up at him with a teasing smile. “Do you really want a debate about Tolkienian theology?”  

“I’ve got time, doll,” he said with a grin, settling onto the stool by the counter. Your cheeks flushed at the nickname, hearts doing backflips in your ribcage.

And so, that evening, you indulged in the mind of James Buchanan Barnes, exploring his thoughts and musings about Middle-earth. For the next two hours, the two of you argued about the nature of Ilúvatar’s creation, the Fëanor tragic story, and whether or not Morgoth represented a failure of divine providence.  

“I’ll admit,” he said at one point, leaning back and crossing his arms, “I wasn’t expecting it to feel so... biblical.”  

“It’s a way to think about creation through the lens of fantasy,” you replied, your voice softening as you traced your fingers over the book’s cover. “There’s a reason people get lost in it.”  

He watched you for a moment, his gaze lingering, his smile fading into something softer. 

It wasn’t the only time your conversations would take a turn like this. A week later, gothic monsters were your battlefield.

Bucky leaned against the counter, an old edition of Dracula he had just purchased in his hands, the worn leather squeaking as he shifted. His brow furrowed in that way that always made you wonder what he was thinking— though you had a feeling he was about to pick a fight, again.

“You’re out of your mind if you think Frankenstein beats Dracula,” he said, glancing up, his blue eyes gleaming with mischief.

“I’m not saying they’re even comparable,” you countered, crossing your arms as you leaned against the opposite side of the counter. “They’re completely different genres. It’s not a fair fight. But if it were... Frankenstein wins. Hands down.”

Bucky chuckled, a low, warm sound that made it impossible not to smile. “You think that because you’re obsessed with sci-fi. If it’s got a fake scientist and a lot of regret, you’re sold.”

“And you think Dracula is better because it’s all dark and broody,” you shot back, arching an eyebrow, “sound familiar?” You smirked, mirroring his stance against the opposite side of the counter. “Besides, Frankenstein is a masterpiece—philosophy, morality, hubris—it’s got layers. What’s Dracula got? Melodrama?”

“Hey! Dracula has layers!” Bucky chuckled low in his throat, setting the book down. “It’s about primal fear, wrapped in ancient powers, wrapped again in the clash between tradition and modernity.”

“It is enjoyable, I must admit, but it’s just a glorified soap opera.” You groaned, though your lips twitched in spite of yourself. “Shelley’s work makes you think, you know? It’s art.”

“Art?!” he repeated, stepping closer, his voice dropping just enough to make your pulse skip. “It’s a guy making bad decisions and spending the rest of the book dodging the consequences.”

You straightened, eyes narrowing. “It’s about responsibility! The monster is a reflection of Victor’s failure. He’s abandoned and searching for connection—”

“And whining about it,” Bucky interrupted with a smirk, folding his arms. “Dracula doesn’t whine.”

The playful sparring faded when it hit you.

Frankenstein’s monster was created without consent, shaped into something he never chose to be. He was cast out, left to navigate a world that saw him as a mistake. The monster was isolated— burdened by guilt—the question of whether he was defined by the harm he’d done.

“Does he…” you started, gulping, unsure of how he’d react to an outright observation. “Does Frankenstein’s monster make you uncomfortable?”

As you stepped closer, his expression faltered, his eyes dropping to the book in his hands. Slowly, he set it aside, the movement deliberate. You reached out, your fingers brushing against the cold surface of his metal arm before resting there gently. “Does it hit too close to home?” you asked.

He didn’t deny it. A quiet laugh escaped him instead. He shook his head. “You’re too damn perceptive for your own good,” he murmured, his voice tinged with a longing for something you couldn’t quite place.  

Your fingers moved in slow circles against his metal hand, and when it twitched beneath your touch, you knew he felt it—knew he felt you.  

“The monster was never the villain,” you said, a fragile offering meant to soothe him. “He just needed someone to see him. He can be kind, too.”  

His gaze lifted, locking onto yours, and the raw vulnerability in his eyes stole the air from your lungs. For a heartbeat, the world stilled. 

Then Bucky’s smirk returned, smaller this time, as he leaned into your touch as if he craved it. “Nice try,” he said, voice lighter but still soft. “You’re not winning this one. Dracula’s better.”

You laughed, the tension breaking just enough to let you breathe again. “You’re impossible, Barnes.”

—

You were afraid you had scared him off after that, but to your surprise, he returned a week later, albeit a bit bruised from a mission.  

You’d been reshelving old graphic novels that day (First Edition Hergé that you were quite excited by), the quiet hum of the shop wrapping you in comfortable silence, when you caught sight of him out of the corner of your eye. His dark leather jacket hung slightly open, revealing a plain gray shirt that stretched just enough across his chest to draw your eyes. There was a faint cut near his jaw, still healing.  

“Hey,” he said, his voice soft as he approached. His eyes lingered on you for a beat longer than necessary. “You look beautiful today. Is that a new dress?”

Your breath caught, and a warmth crept up your neck as you glanced down at the simple, flowy dress you’d chosen that morning. “It is,” you admitted, looking back up at him with a shy smile. “Thanks for noticing.”

“Hard not to,” he murmured, his lips curving into a small, almost teasing smile before he turned toward the shelves.

You busied yourself with reshelving more books behind the counter, but you couldn’t help watching him out of the corner of your eye. His human hand traced idly along the spines, careful not to inflict damage. When he stopped, he plucked a rare-ish pocket 6th edition of Thus Spake Zarathustra from the shelf, his metal fingers glinting faintly in the light of the shop.

“You actually like this guy?” he asked quietly, lifting the book like he was sharing a secret.  

“Like is a strong word,” you said, stepping out from behind the ladder. His gaze caught yours, and there was a flicker of something playful in those blue eyes. Your pulse quickened, beckoning him to the counter. “He was no saint, but hardly anyone is. I… appreciate his contribution. It’s not his fault people misuse his work.” 

Bucky had witnessed it firsthand: fascists distorting Nietzsche's philosophy, disregarding its complexities, and twisting his ideas into a justification for genocide.

His lips turned upward, a lopsided grin that softened the sharpness of his jaw. His stance shifted, leaning against the counter with a practiced ease. His eyes flickered, taking you in, and when you crossed your arms, his gaze lingered briefly, enough to spark a bubbling heat beneath your skin.  

“You don’t think Nietzsche was a proto-fascist, do you?” you asked, tilting your head.  

“God, no,” he said quickly, amusement softening his voice. His grin spread, revealing the faintest cute dimple in his cheek. “I’ve read enough to know better. But I don’t exactly buy the Übermensch thing either. It’s too... self-centered for my taste. The whole idea of being ‘beyond good and evil’ feels dangerous.”  

“That’s fair,” you said, closing the distance between you as you reached for the book in his hand. Your fingers brushed his as you slipped it from his grasp, his touch warm, steady, almost deliberate. His eyes flickered down to where your hands had met. “There are many flaws in his thinking, but I don’t think the concept is inherently bad,” you continued, the air between you charged with tension. You tilted the book toward him, as though showing him something, though you both knew you weren’t really focused on the pages. “It’s about striving for a better version of yourself. I think he wanted people to create their own meaning, not follow blindly.”  

“Maybe,” Bucky murmured, his voice dropping an octave. He shifted closer, his fingers tapping lightly against the counter, the sound echoing in the quiet room. His metal hand rested at his side, the vibranium gleaming faintly as his other hand inched forward, almost brushing yours.  

His breath fanned your cheek as he leaned in, close enough now that you could see the stubble along his jaw, the way his lashes framed those blue eyes. “But there’s something so… wrong about thinking you’re the one who gets to decide what’s right,” he whispered, his voice like a secret meant only for you.  

He was close, dangerously so— that you could feel his breath on your nose.

The bell above the door chimed suddenly, breaking the moment like shattered glass. Dr. Hart, a lecturer from the local university, stepped inside, a bundle of papers tucked under her arm, and smiled in greeting.  

She was a returning customer, here to pick up a special edition of Conversation on Botany that you had tracked down for her.

“That’s $40, Mr. Barnes,” You took a small, steadying breath and waved at Hart with a thumbs up that said I’ve got your book.

His lips twitched into a knowing smile. Hr reached for his wallet, pulling out a few bills. As he handed them to you, his fingers brushed yours again.

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised, his voice soft, almost teasing.

—

The tipping point came late one evening.  

You’d spent the last few hours catalouging a shipment of rare books, the shop’s air thick with the comforting scent of old leather, yellowing paper, and the faint hint of dust that always seemed to cling to ancient texts. The shop was silent save for the scratch of your pen against paper as you logged the latest arrival.  

The peace shattered with the familiar jingle of the bell above the door.  

“Shop’s closed,” you said without looking up, your voice automatic, your focus still on the fragile spine of a sixteenth-century text.  

“Good thing I’m not here to shop,” came the deep, unmistakable voice of Bucky Barnes.  

Your hand froze, an involuntary smile tugging at your lips. You looked up, finding him leaning against the doorframe with that trademark blend of casual confidence and smoldering intensity. His black Henley stretched across his chest, the sleeves pushed up to reveal his forearms—a sight you tried not to dwell on for too long.  

“What are you here for, then?” you asked, arching an eyebrow as you tried to sound indifferent.  

“Conversation,” he said simply, stepping further inside.  

You huffed a quiet laugh, shaking your head as you returned to your work. “You came all the way here just to talk?”  

“Don’t flatter yourself,” he teased, his lips turning into a sly smile as he perched on the edge of your desk. “I was in the neighborhood.”  

You rolled your eyes but didn’t bother responding. Bucky always had a way of pulling your attention, and tonight was no different. You tried to focus on the delicate bindings in front of you, but his overwhelming presence was impossible to ignore.  

When he reached for a book from the nearby stack—a copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius—you finally gave in.  

“Stoicism?” you asked, your tone light with playful mockery. 

He flipped the book open, his fingers grazing the thin pages. “You’re really surprised? I thought you’d figure that about me,” he said, glancing up at you with a hint of a challenge in his eyes. “Marcus Aurelius had a lot to say about self-control.”  

“And yet here you are…” you replied, gesturing to where he was leaning across your workspace, a soft furrow of amusement on your eyebrows. You decided you could be flirty— eyeing the undone button of his Henley, showing a hint of his skin underneath. “...testing mine.”  

The corners of his mouth curved. “Guess I’m doing my part to help you practice.”  

You shook your head, half-smiling. “It’s not just about self-control, now is it? It’s about accepting what you can’t change.”  

He tilted his head, agreeing with you. “Or a way to stop drowning in things you can’t fix.”  

From there, the conversation unfurled like a thread you couldn’t stop pulling. Philosophy, morality, the nature of good and evil—it didn’t take long before you were fully engrossed, debating with a ferocity that surprised even you. Bucky was sharp, quick-witted, and maddeningly good at challenging your points. Every time you thought you had the upper hand, he’d counter with something so precise, so well-argued, that you couldn’t help but admire his mind.  

As the debate shifted, you sat on your desk, its surface cluttered with books that were hard to find, but not rare enough to be put in a glass case. Your focus was solely on Bucky, who was pacing the room with measured steps, his hands brushing against the edges of shelves every so often as though grounding himself.

“Alright,” you said, leaning forward, crossing your legs. “Here’s a question for you: Should Batman kill the Joker?” 

Slowly, he turned and walked closer to you, his shoes thudding softly against the floor. He stopped just short of your legs, leaning forward slightly, his gaze locking onto yours, making your pulse quicken.

Oh, that piqued his interest.

“I should’ve known you’d bring up Batman.” Bucky’s lips curved into a smirk, eyeing up the first print of 90s DC comics in the corner of the room that hadn’t been there two days ago— a fresh delivery, perhaps? You were always very topical, and the recent restocks somehow always made their way into conversation.

“It’s a valid moral dilemma,” you said, straightening, your chin lifting slightly. 

He tilted his head, his expression a blend of amusement and challenge. “Why don’t you tell me?”  

“Of course he should,” You didn’t hesitate, the answer rolling off your tongue with absolute conviction. “The Joker is a mass murderer. Every time Batman spares him, more people die. His refusal to act is just as bad as pulling the trigger himself.”  

Bucky’s smile lingered, but his gaze grew darker, ever so slightly. “So you’re saying Batman’s refusal to kill makes him complicit?”  

“Yes,” you said firmly, leaning in slightly, the heat of the argument pulling you closer. “Batman’s morality is Kantian—rigid rules and all. But if he were more… utilitarian, he’d save more lives. The greatest good for the greatest number. One life to save countless others.”  

“That kind of math doesn’t scare you?” Bucky asked, leaning back as though to put some distance between you, though his eyes stayed locked on yours. “Once you start deciding whose lives matter more, where do you stop?”  

“It’s not about worth,” you argued, the intensity rippling from him unnerving but impossible to look away from. “It’s about outcomes. If you can prevent suffering, don’t you have a responsibility to do it?”  

The silence that followed felt heavier than it should’ve. His jaw clicked a bit, tightening as he considered your words. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, shyer.

“If that’s your stance, then maybe someone should’ve killed the Winter Soldier years ago.”  

His words hit you like a punch in the gut, your breath catching. The implication of his statement filled the room, coiling tight around your chest.  

“Bucky,” you said quickly, panic creeping into your voice, your fingers twitching toward him but freezing halfway. “That’s not—”  

The corner of his mouth curved into a small, fragile smile. “Relax,” he said, holding up a hand, his voice dipping into something gentler. “I’m not offended. This is just a debate, right?”  

“It’s not the same,” you insisted, your voice gentler, almost pleading. You stood from your desk, hesitation in your chest as you reached out— you were scared he might pull away, “you were brainwashed.” Slowly, you pressed your hand to his cheek, his stubble rough beneath your palm. It was a wordless apology—a pathetic attempt to comfort, to reach him where words had failed. 

To your surprise, he didn’t stop you. Instead, he leaned into your touch. 

Bucky, slid his arm around your waist, testing the waters. His eyes flicked to yours, searching for any sign of rejection, any hint that he’d crossed a line. But there were none. Instead, the subtle hitch in your breath and the way you leaned into him told him everything he needed to know.

He shook his head, rubbing soft circles on your hip as if to say you’re okay. This conversation is more than okay. “But in the grand scheme of utilitarianism, it shouldn’t matter, right? My life was a liability. More people would’ve been saved if I hadn’t been around to hurt them.”  

His words settled over you like a storm cloud. The silence stretched, your carefully crafted argument unraveling in the face of his lived experience.  

He leaned forward then, bridging the space between you, his arm pinning you in place. “Maybe I understand Batman better than most,” he said, his voice quiet but intense. “Killing someone doesn’t always fix what’s broken. It just leaves you with blood on your hands.”  

Your throat tightened, the words sticking. He was too close now, the tension between you buzzing like a static current.  

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but he heard it.  

“Don’t be.” His words were soft as he pulled you closer. There was always a hint of warmth in his eyes, an unspoken kindness you admired.

The room felt smaller now, more heated. You opened your mouth to respond, but his words had stolen all the air from your lungs.  

He leaned in, his voice dropping. “It’s easy to talk about morality in the abstract. But when you’re staring someone in the face—when it’s a real person, and not just an idea—it gets a lot harder to play God.”  

Shit.

He was right.  

Maybe utilitarianism wasn’t a steadfast rule. Maybe it couldn’t be, not when you factored in the messy, unpredictable depths of human existence. Lives weren’t just numbers to balance on a scale—they were stories, choices, pain, hope. And Bucky… Bucky was proof of that.  

Your thoughts churned as you looked at him.

You felt your conviction unravel. It wasn’t just that his argument was sound—though it was (infuriatingly so)—it was the way he’d delivered it, the personal truth lending it undeniable power. And that’s when it hit you. That’s why you found him so damn attractive.  

Sure, he was gorgeous. The sharp lines of his jawline, the piercing blue of his eyes, the way his Henley stretched over his shoulders like it had been designed with him in mind. But that wasn’t it. Not entirely.  

It was him. His humanity. His thoughtfulness. The kindness that softened the edges, the depth that came from wrestling with his own darkness and coming out better on the other side.  

And he was brilliant. For the first time, you felt like you’d met your match. Someone who met you on your turf and stood his ground, someone who didn’t just nod along or agree to avoid conflict. Someone who could challenge you, who could look you in the eye and make you see the world differently.  

You thought you’d built your worldview on unshakable foundations, but he’d cracked it wide open, and now all you could do was stare at him with the dawning realisation that this wasn’t just attraction. It was something deeper, something that terrified and thrilled you in equal measure.  

He wasn’t just a match for you physically; he was your intellectual equal—a rare kind of connection that made your pulse race and left your thoughts spinning.

Before you could stop yourself, before you could think it through, you leaned forward and kissed him.  

It was impulsive—a collision of lips born from the fiery tension that had simmered between you for weeks. It was everything unsaid, every glance, every near touch that had lingered just a fraction too long, all boiling over in one moment. He froze for the briefest heartbeat, but then something in him snapped. His hands found you, pulling you closer, his grip possessive, almost desperate. Your hands made their way through the soft strands of his hair, landing comfortably around his neck.

The kiss, slow at first, quickly became frantic. Neither of you could get enough. The only thing that mattered was him—his lips on yours, his touch, the way his body pressed against you like a promise. 

When you finally broke apart, gasping for air, his forehead rested against yours, his lips curled into a breathless smile. For a second, he could forget about everything that has happened to him. For a second, he was truly, utterly safe in your arms.

“I didn’t think you were the type to kiss someone in the middle of a moral argument about Batman,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing, his lips grazing yours with every word, sending shivers down your spine.

“And I didn’t think you’d let me,” you replied, your voice laced with a mischievous edge.

His eyes darkened, his smile widening just enough to make your heart race before he closed the distance again, capturing your lips in another searing kiss. This time, it wasn’t careful or calculated—it was raw, fervent, consuming. Your back hit the desk behind you, his hands sliding around your waist and around the curve of your bum, firm and deliberate, setting every nerve in your body on fire. 

“The books,” he mumbled against your lips, glancing at the teetering stack beside you, the volumes threatening to topple.

“I don’t care,” you said breathlessly, and to prove your point, you swiped the entire stack to the floor with a crash. The sound echoed, but you barely heard it over the roaring thump of your heartbeat in your ears. 

They weren’t too rare. You’ll just put them on the discount aisle tomorrow. 

His response was a low, guttural groan, his lips finding yours again, His fingers tangled in your hair, tugging just enough to make your head tilt back, exposing the sensitive curve of your neck. He didn’t waste the opportunity, his lips and teeth trailing along your skin, finding the spot just below your ear that made you gasp. 

“Did I manage to change your mind this time?” he murmured against your ear, his voice rough and unsteady as his lips brushed against your jaw, then lower, tracing a heated path along your collarbone. 

You managed a breathless laugh, your fingers slipping under his shirt to trace the veins under his skin, his muscles tensing under your touch. “Okay, so maybe ‘the greatest good for the greatest number’ isn’t always the best approach when you’re the one holding the short end of the categorical imperative,” you whispered, your voice trembling with desire.

His laugh was husky, his hands lower to grip your thighs, pushing himself flush against you. “God, you’re something else,” he said, his lips finding yours again, this time slower, deeper, as though savoring you. When he finally pulled back, his voice was hoarse. “Do you want to go on a date?”

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift. “You’re seriously asking me that now?” you asked, breathless. With your hands trailing over the planes of his chest, his breath mingling with yours, it seemed a bit out of order, but you weren’t about to complain.

“Yes,” he said, his words dead serious despite the way his hands clutched at your shirt, his lips finding the hollow of your throat. He kissed the spot slowly, firmly, making your legs feel numb. “I mean it,” he added, his voice softer, yet no less insistent.

You let out a breathless laugh, tugging him into another kiss, the kind that left no room for doubt about your answer. “Then yes,” you murmured, your voice low and teasing as you pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “We’re going to have a lot to talk about.”

And boy, were you excited to talk to this man— a man who could turn the simplest circumstances into a philosophical debate, someone who wasn’t afraid to dispute your ideals. 

Someone who was your match.

“Later,” he rasped, his voice gravelly with need, his hands trailing up to tug his henley over his head in one fluid motion. The sight of him stole the breath from your lungs, but you didn’t have time to appreciate it before he was kissing you again, his bare skin pressed against you as he lifted your shirt off. “We can talk later.”

-end.

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Consider:

Reader wanting to cross some stuff off a bucket list and wanting to go skydiving with Bucky.

Maybe a bit of angst with the quite-literally-falling-into-HYRDA’s-arms thing, but mostly y/n (and Sam) making fun of him for not doing it until he caves and does it in spite of his fears

Bucky didn’t like it all that much, understandably so— but it gets Dr. Raynor off his butt for the week, so maybe it wasn’t that bad

Bucket List » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Best Friend/TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Best Friend!Female Reader with Sam Wilson/Falcon

Summary: You want to cross sky diving off of your bucket list and you ask Bucky to go with you.

Warnings: Fluff, tiny bit of Angst, language, pet names

A/N: Thank you for the request, nonnie🩵

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Gif credit goes to the creator.

“Bucky, just the person I was looking for!” You said as you walked in the living room. “Do you want to do something fun and adventurous with me?” You asked, sitting down on the couch next to him.

“That depends on what your definition of fun and adventurous is.” Bucky says.

“Sky diving.” You say.

Bucky stayed silent. He doesn’t really want to do anything that involves falling off of something. Like what happened in 1945 when HYDRA got their hands on him.

“Well?” You waited for him to respond. “Doesn’t it sound fun?” You asked.

“No.” Is all he said.

“Why not?” You asked.

“It sounds dangerous.” He says.

Sam laughed out loud when Bucky said that.

“You think sky diving is dangerous? You literally jumped out of a plane without a parachute the other day.” Sam said.

“Wait what?” You said. “Did he really jump without a parachute?” You asked, looking at Sam.

“I have it on video.” He said. “I can show you if you want.” He says.

“Do not show her that video.” Bucky says, narrowing his eyes at Sam.

You pouted and moved closer to Bucky.

“Are you scared of heights or something?” You asked.

Sam laughed out loud again.

“This man isn’t scared of heights.” Sam says.

“I can speak for myself, man.” Bucky says to him.

“Then give her a reason why you won’t go sky diving with her.” He says.

You and Sam stared at Bucky, waiting for him to give you a reason why he doesn’t want to go Sky diving with you.

“I already said it’s dangerous.” Bucky repeats. “That’s my reason.” He says.

“Bucky, you literally do dangerous things when you’re on missions.” You say.

“She’s not wrong.” Sam chimes in.

“What’s your point?” He asks, turning his head to look at you.

“My point is…” You handed him your little notebook that has your bucket list of things you want to do. “I want to cross more things off of my bucket list and sky diving is one of them.” You say.

Bucky opened your little notebook to your bucket list page. You had stars drawn around sky diving.

“Sorry, doll.” Bucky tossed the notebook on your lap. “Find someone else to go with you.” He says.

You laid across Bucky’s lap so he couldn’t get up.

“Please?” You begged, staring up at him.

“No.” Bucky says.

You pouted and stuck your bottom lip out. You know Bucky can’t resist it. It’s taking everything in him to not say yes to sky diving.

“Nice try, doll.” Bucky gently moved you off of his lap so he could stand up. “I’m not going to give in with that look this time.” He says.

You sat on the couch, watching as Bucky walked to the kitchen to get something to drink.

“I think the real reason why he doesn’t want to go sky diving is that he doesn’t want you to hear him screaming like a scary cat.” Sam jokes.

“Probably.” You giggled.

Bucky stood at the kitchen counter, listening to you and Sam basically making fun of him. He was quickly growing irritated. He slapped his hands on the counter to get you two to stop. You and Sam jumped at the sound of Bucky’s vibranium hand coming in contact with the granite countertop.

“Are you two done making fun of me?” Bucky asks, sounding irritated.

You and Sam know better than to irritate Bucky. Let’s just say it never ends well.

“I’m gonna leave now.” Sam stood up from the couch. “Good luck trying to get the bionic staring machine to go sky diving with you.” He says, patting your shoulder as he walked past you.

Bucky sighs loudly and rubs his hands over his face. You stood up from the couch and walked over to Bucky.

“I’m sorry.” You wrapped your arms around his waist. “I shouldn’t have made fun of you.” You apologized, putting your chin on his chest.

“It’s ok. I’m not mad at you.” Bucky says, wrapping his arms around you.

Bucky leaned against the edge of the countertop while he held you in his arms. A grin formed on his face. If he goes sky diving with you, that means he doesn’t have to go to therapy. At least, that’s what he thinks.

“Ok, fine.” He finally gives in. “I’ll go sky diving with you.” He says.

“Yay!” You cheered, kissing his cheek. “You’re the bestest friend ever!” You say.

That warmed Bucky’s heart when you said that.

You grabbed his hand, leading him to the car.

“Did you actually jump out of a plane without a parachute?” You asked curiously.

“Yes.” Bucky answers. “That wasn’t one of my finest moments.” He chuckles.

“I’m still gonna watch that video Sam has of you jumping out of it.” You say teasingly.

When you and Bucky got to the sky diving place, you felt yourself getting more and more nervous by the second.

“It’s ok.” Bucky whispers in your ear. “You don’t need to be scared. I’m here with you.” He coos.

You smiled and nodded. You took a few deep breaths before the sky diving instructor told you and Bucky can jump. Bucky had his vibranium arm wrapped protectively around your waist the whole time.

“You were right.” Bucky said as you two got to the ground. “This was fun and adventurous.” He says.

“I told you!” You exclaimed with a smile.

Bucky seen your little notebook with a pen in your back pocket and grabbed it. He opened it to your bucket list page and crossed off sky diving.

“Let’s see how much of this bucket list we can cross off in a week.” Bucky says with a smile.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[daisybvck]

thinking abt prof!Bucky eating you out in his little office...

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warning: 18+, smut

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

you had been on his mind for the whole entire day, the hunger inside him so irritating that he had no other chance to break your little rule of not doing anything in public.

now down on his knees and between your thighs, he’s messy being and he’s being sloppy – he’s got your slick running down his chin as he fucks you with his tongue, and his glasses keep fogging up from the way he keeps burying his face into your warm cunt. he’s like a starved beast, devouring you as if you’re the last meal he’ll ever get to eat. 

with your free hand, you tug at his roots and it only makes things worse for you because the action makes bucky groan into you and the vibrations that sends all over your body are so intense that your eyes go cross. 

voices coming from the hallway fall deaf to your ears, your mind solely set on your sweet professor’s tongue. he moves his whole head, not just the muscle, and soon enough you’re guiding him just the way you like with the hand in his hair.

you can’t keep your hips still either, grinding into him every time you push him against you. and he lets you do it. he lets you do it all. 

Bucky isn’t ashamed to get on his knees, nor is he ashamed to let you use him for your own pleasure – despite the fact that it was his aching cock that got the two of you into his situation, he’s more than willing to forget about his own needs as long as he knows that you’re feeling good. 

he loves the way your brows furrow and he loves the way your chest rises and falls. he loves to watch beads of sweat form on your forehead and he loves to watch you try and muffle your moans. he loves the way your body keeps on twitching and he loves the way you keep clenching around him. and he fucking loves the way you taste.

his cock throbs under the layers of clothing, just begging to be set free but Bucky refuses to take his hands off of you.

he’d rather suffer from actual blue balls than to give you any less attention than you deserve. his boxers are ruined with his pre-cum, his balls full and heavy, as he gets off on the mere sight of you. he reckons he’s never been this fucking hard before, better yet this close to cumming untouched, and he’s sure you’ve actually bewitched him. not that he’s complaining though. 

you make him feel alive.

hell, he'd go to fucking war for your pretty little smile. when you give his roots a particularly rough tug, he knows you're close. so, he lets go of one of your thighs and brings it to your pussy instead; latching his lips around your sensitive clit, he sucks on the nub while lining up his two digits with your weeping hole.

the face you make when he pushes them in is fucking priceless - your lips part in a silent moan, your eyes screwing themselves shut as you approach your high.

using his middle and ring finger, the professor makes a wave-like motion inside you and suddenly there's a weird type of pressure building inside you, making your eyes shoot wide open again.

"ah! fuck- wait!" your broken whines are like music to his ears. "gonna- gonna make a mess!"

you paw at his head in a weak attempt of making him back away but to no avail, if anything he presses himself even closer - his fingers are so deep that they're touching places you didn't even know about and his lips are so soft and his tongue so warm and skilled and the band in your tummy gets tighter and tighter with every passing second.

Bucky takes his mouth off of you for only a fraction of a second. "make a mess then, doll, c'mon."

your glassy eyes meet his dark, lust-filled green ones and the determination pooling in them is the last push you need to finally unravel. your back arches off the chair and you can't hold back the loud moan that forces its way out from the depths of your lungs.

Bucky’s shirt gets completely soaked when you squirt all over him but he doesn't stop. the liquid seeps through the flimsy material and he can feel it on his skin, and fuck, is it hot.

a tear runs over the apple of your cheek and Bucky itches to kiss it away. your lip wobbles as you writhe in utter bliss, mind all hazy from the overstimulation.

as the wave of pleasure flows through you, the exhaustion finally settles in, making you drop your hand from his hair.

but before it can go any further, Bucky takes it into his. with his arm still under your thigh, he just presses it into your side and just keeps it there.

he helps you ride out your orgasm and the thought of not stopping, of going further, floods his brain - he wants to make you do that again, he wants you to make an even bigger mess but the clock on the wall behind you is clicking awfully close to his next class and he can't put either of you at any more risk.

hesitantly, he pulls his fingers out of you and tears his eyes from you to look at your abused hole. he groans at the sight of it and then he's already leaning forward to get one final taste. swallowing a whimper, you do your utmost best to stay still and to let him have his little reward.

he pushes himself off the ground, grinning from ear-to-ear with pride blooming in his chest as he looks at your disheveled form. biting your lip, you reach for him but are barely able to ghost your fingers over his bulge when he's stopping you.

"no, but...?"

Bucky’s lips smash against yours in a sloppy, haste kiss. and then he's pulling away again.

"Y'gonna suck me off while i give class, hm?" he teases while brushing some damp stray hairs from your forehead.

"i would."

Bucky’s heart stutters - no, it fucking stops working for a few good seconds. he stares at you with his lips parted and you get to watch in real time how the tips of his ears grow red again.

"don't- don't fuckin' say that." he grumbles at you, averting his gaze. "shit."

you laugh at his reaction but don't let him go away too far, tugging on his belt loops to bring him back. "yours or mine, professor?"

"mine, hm? i'll make ya something to eat."

cocking a brow you tease him a bit more, unable to let any of the opportunities go to waste. "like real food or...?"

he gives you a real professor-like look and you boop his nose. he lets you do as you wish but then he's wrapping his fingers around your wrist. "real food."

"okay."

"yeah?"

"yeah."

there's a moment of silence between you. the most comfortable kind. neither of you look away from each other's eyes, smitten and a bit giddy. excited.

"go change your shirt now, mister."

you poke a finger at his chest and almost cringe at the big wet stain you've given him. "wait, do you just have a change of clothes here with you?"

"no."

you cock a brow. "no?"

"Tony- i mean, mr. Stark, will bring me something."

"what the hell will you even tell him?"

"spilled my water." Bucky’s voice is calm as ever, deep and raspy, and all you want to do now after he's been so good to you, is to cuddle with him. "don't worry about it, doll, yeah?*

with a nod and a quiet hum, you comply. he leans to give you another kiss and an ass squeeze and then he's bidding you goodbye with a smug grin as you straighten out your clothes and collect your belongings before making your way out of his office.

you give him one last wave and disappear into the hallway, leaving Bucky standing there with a raging boner and a squirt-stained shirt.

he is not complaining.