#fair warning ahead guys: this one will hurt you
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hell-much · 1 year ago
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Once In A Lifetime - Chapter 12
Pairing: Sansa Stark / Margaery Tyrell
Rating: Explicit
Summary: On a farm, in the far north of Westeros the path of Sansa Stark’s future seems destined. The four days in the summer of 1973, when her husband and kids are away, promise to be no different than any other day. Yet, when photographer Margaery Tyrell, happens to turn into the Stark farm and asks Sansa for directions, everything changes. Soon  Sansa finds herself faced with an unexpected fork in the road, and a  love that causes her to question everything she had come to expect from  life. A love that happens just once in a lifetime, if you’re lucky.  
...
She finds Sansa in the kitchen, scrubbing at her hands with a nailbrush like she was cleaning dried dirt of a tile floor. The scrubbing continues for an instant longer before she drops the brush into the sink. Staring down at hands coming clean under the stream of water, Sansa flattens her lips in a deep breath.
Something about the sight, something about the expression in her face, the anxiety that has her so tense like she’s about to snap in half, is deeply painful. Margaery can’t stand it.
A second later she’s behind her, has her arms wrapped around her, resting her chin in the junction of Sansa’s shoulder and neck. She feels rigid like a marble statue in her embrace.
“You can tell me, you know, if you—” The words come out quiet and rushed. Margaery doesn’t want to ask, but how can she not? “Did you change your mind?”
The second that follows feels like an eternity, but then without opening her eyes Sansa shakes her head, quickly and determinedly. Margaery buries her face in the softness of her skin and thanks all those Gods she hasn’t believed in for years.
It takes a few kisses to Sansa’s neck, her jaw, her cheek, until her strained posture relaxes at last. Wet fingers clutch onto her forearms as she sinks into the hold.
“Tell me what you need,” Margaery probes quietly.
A shaky breath heaves in and out of Sansa, before she spins around and brings their lips together. Her kiss is laced with anxious agitation, with desperation. With a need for Margaery to quell all of that. For a short while, they stand close together, their lips barely touching. Leaning her forehead against Sansa’s, Margaery takes the first breath that really reaches her lungs today.
...
[READ FROM THE BEGINNING]  
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zaczenemiji · 7 months ago
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Hi I hope you are having a lovely day my dear ♥. I was wondering if you could do a Kenji Sato x reader where the reader is an assistant manager to him and one day he like acts arrogantly towards her during one of his interviews when he sees a pretty journalist amongst the crowed of ppl interviewing him and he says some hurtful things to reader and collectively ignoring her and instead choosing to focus on the journalists girl. Ever since that day reader has been silent around Sato and he thought he didn't care but it bothered him because even though she is usually quite, these days she is *too* quite and then there is like a mini celebration for like a baseball game win and reader goes with a guy who is like an athlete but is not as famous as Sato. So the kicker is reader is absolutely DROP DEAD GORGEOUS and ppl at the party even think she is a model. So Sato get jealous and he acts all possessive and protective of her , while she is still angry at him but eventually he makes it up to her over time. If you have anything else to add please do.
Shattered Pride
Kenji Sato x AssistantManager!Reader
Word Count: 1,873
Genre/Warnings: Character Development, Eventual Romance, Forgiveness, Jealousy, Regret, Redemption
Author’s Note: The idea behind this was just fantastic! Thank you so much for the request, writing this was my honor.
MASTERLIST
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Being Kenji Sato’s assistant manager is not an easy task. I repeat: Not. An. Easy. Task. Throughout his baseball career, he has had several assistants who quit as soon as they were hired because, for one thing, Kenji is stubborn.
Ghosted interviews, off-topic answers, and insults to other players were just some of the many things about him that gave you a headache.
You remember being referred to him by his last assistant saying that it was a high-paying job. However, you were skeptical at how quickly and willing they were to give off their job to another person.
You understood why the first time you met him. After the meeting, you asked him, “Is there anything else you need from me today?”
In response, he gave an irritated sigh. “If I needed something, I would have asked.”
Thankfully, you were more on the nonchalant scale, and how people respond to you didn’t bother you much. You were here to do your job—and excellently at that, not exactly to be friends with an arrogant baseball star.
Kenji’s behavior was… challenging, that’s the best word for it. He barked orders, rarely said thank you, and seemed to take your presence for granted. But in conditions like these, you thrive the most; you succeed where others have failed.
Today was a usual day with the usual crowd of journalists and fans gathering in the conference room. You stood by his side, ensuring everything was in order for yet another post-game interview.
It was going all smooth and well when Kenji suddenly paused mid-sentence. It was a very short pause that wouldn’t be noticeable to others but you, with all the time you spent as his assistant, noticed it.
Your eyes looked in the direction he kept glancing at. A girl, of course, strikingly beautiful with long sleek back hair that cascaded down in soft waves.
When it was her turn to ask, Kenji leaned forward to give her a dazzling smile. “Why don’t you ask me a question?” he said, ignoring the list of pre-approved questions you handed him before the interview started.
Kenji was holding court with this journalist longer than he should. You noticed that the others in line were starting to murmur in annoyance.
You stepped forward, maintaining your professional demeanor. “Excuse me, Mr. Sato, but we need to move on,” you said. “Other journalists are waiting for their turn.”
“I’m not done here,” he said arrogantly, not bothering to look your way.
You took a deep breath, wanting to handle this situation diplomatically. “I understand,” you said. “But we’ve exceeded the time limit, and it’s only fair to give everyone a chance.”
Whichever agency’s plan was it to send her here to get ahead of other journalists, it’s working. She gave you a polite smile, clearly enjoying the extra attention.
Kenji frowned and turned to you. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something important?” He asked. “If you can’t manage your job properly, maybe you should reconsider.”
Your eyes widened. You could feel others’ on you, their stares almost cutting through your professional facade.
Swallowing your pride, you nodded and stepped back, keeping your expression neutral. But as neutral as you looked, deep down you felt a mix of anger and humiliation.
From that day on, you remained silent around Kenji, only speaking when necessary. You remained professional though, and you made sure that your job was not compromised.
During meetings, you no longer offered insights unless directly asked. When you did speak, your tone was strictly professional. Well, it has always been, but the warmth that characterized your interactions was now gone.
Like that one time during a team strategy meeting. Kenji asked for input on a new play. The room fell silent as everyone waited for your usual insightful suggestions, but you simply looked down at your notes, saying nothing.
The coach glanced at you, surprised. "Any thoughts, (y/n)?" You shook your head. "No, Coach. Nothing to add."
At first, Kenji was oblivious to all of this. He was absorbed in his own world and the adulation of his fans, as always. But as the days turned into weeks, your silence grew too loud to ignore that even he finally noticed it.
A month later, the team planned on celebrating a recent major win. This time, they have decided to invite other athletes as guests of honor. The organizers wanted to have a mix of established stars and up-and-coming talents from the sports world.
You decided to take this as an opportunity to have yourself pampered. You have been working hard, after all. Despite the obvious tension between you and Kenji, you were still able to do your job well.
That’s why at the party, you were stunning. Drop dead gorgeous, as the team said. Though the lights were dim, it seemed as if a spotlight was following you as everyone you passed by turned their heads to look.
You decided to settle by the bar for drinks. “Hey there,” came a familiar voice. You turned to see Jake approaching. He was one of the promising young athletes and a rising star in the sports world who was invited to this party.
He plays as a forward for a popular soccer team and has recently garnered attention for his impressive performance in the league. This wasn’t the first time you met as Jake and Kenji ran into each other a couple times before at different events.
He leaned against the bar, signaling the bartender for a drink. “It’s nice to see you again and this time, enjoying yourself,” he said. “You looked like you needed a break at the last event we were at.”
You chuckled softly, appreciating his observation. "Yeah, it's been a bit hectic lately."
Jake's drink arrived, and he took a sip, his eyes studying you with genuine interest. “Well, you look incredible tonight,” he said. “Have you been hearing what the others are saying?”
Jake turned to glance at the crowd, then back at you. “They were all asking if you were a model or something,” he said. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think the same.”
“Thanks, Jake,” you replied, smiling. “You clean up pretty well yourself."
He laughed, a warm, infectious sound that put you at ease. "So, how's work been treating you? Still managing the chaos that is Kenji Sato?"
You hesitated, the memory of Kenji's recent behavior still fresh. "It's been… challenging," you admitted. "But I manage."
Jake's expression softened with understanding. "I can imagine. He's got a reputation for being difficult."
Unbeknownst to both of you, the baseball star you were talking about has finally arrived. His presence commanded attention as he navigated through the crowd, exchanging greetings and handshakes.
As he made his way deeper into the club, his eyes caught sight of you. At that moment he froze. Or was it time that froze? He didn’t know. All he was sure of was that for a little while, he couldn’t breathe.
You were stunning. Your outfit, a sleek, form-fitting dress that accentuated your every curve, made you look like you had just stepped off a runway. Your hair was styled to perfection, your makeup highlighting your natural beauty.
Suddenly, he noticed the man you were talking to, Jake. “That rookie soccer player,” he thought. Gosh, you deserved so much better. At that moment, with firm resolve, he declared upon himself that he would work to be the better that you deserved.
Kenjl's jaw clenched as his own possessive instincts flared up, a mix of jealousy and protectiveness surging through him. He made his way over to you, his eyes never leaving your form.
On your end, you noticed the crowd parted slightly, and you saw Kenji making his way towards you.
Turning slightly, you met Kenji’s gaze with a cool, indifferent look. "Kenji," you acknowledged, your tone polite but distant.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked, his voice tight with barely restrained emotion.
Jake looked at you, his gaze asking if you were fine with it. You smiled at him, a genuine and warm expression, something you haven’t given Kenji in a while. “I’ll go on ahead,” you told Jake. “See you around.”
Kenji led you away from the crowd, finding a quieter corner of the club. As soon as you were out of earshot, he turned to you, his eyes dark with jealousy.
"Why didn't you come with me?" Kenji asked, his frustration evident.
You scoffed. “First of all, you didn’t ask me to.” You crossed your arms, fixing him with a hard stare. "And you made it very clear where I stand with you. Or rather, where I don't."
He winced, the memory of his hurtful words coming back to haunt him. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice softer now. "I was wrong. I was an idiot."
You remained silent, waiting for him to continue.
���I've been a jerk, and I know it,” he continued. “I was arrogant, dismissive, and I took you for granted.”
You watch him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. Yet you looked away, the hurt still fresh. "You hurt me, Kenji,” you said. “You made me feel worthless and unimportant."
Kenji steps closer, his voice filled with regret. “I know, I'm so sorry. I was so focused on myself, on my career, that I didn't see how much I was hurting you. Your silence has been killing me. I miss your insights, your presence.”
He paused for a while before continuing. “I miss you.” He reaches out, gently taking your hand.
“You're more than just my assistant,” he said. “You're the reason I can do what I do. You make everything better, and I've been too blind to see it. Please, give me a chance to make it right. I want to earn back your trust.”
You met his gaze, searching for any sign of insincerity. All you saw was genuine regret and a longing to make things right. "This isn't something that can be fixed overnight, Kenji."
"I know," he said quickly. "I'll do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes. I just... I can't lose you."
You took a deep breath, the weight of his words sinking in. "We'll see," you said. "But it won't be easy."
He nodded, relief flooding his features. "I understand,” he said. “Thank you, (y/n)—for giving me a chance.”
As you walked back to the party, Kenji stayed close by your side, protective and possessive. arm subtly wrapped around your waist, a clear signal to everyone around that you were with him.
As the night came to an end, Kenji offered to drive you home. To which, you agreed. The drive home was quiet, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. If anything else, it was rather hopeful.
One evening, after a particularly grueling day, Kenji found you alone in the office. “Hey," he said softly, "I was thinking we could grab dinner. Just the two of us."
You looked up, surprised. "Dinner?"
He nodded, a hopeful smile on his face. "Yeah. To thank you for everything. And to make up for being such an idiot."
You smiled at him for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Dinner sounds nice."
Taglist is open! Comment if u wanna be tagged on future Kenji oneshots
@eternallyvenus @puppyminnnie
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strawbeerossi · 1 year ago
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Only Friends
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Pairing: Gender Neutral!Reader x Spencer Reid
Description: You and Spencer are best friends who act like anything but.
Content/Warnings: Oblivious mutual pining, kissing, lap sitting, teasing friends, cute little love confession at the end.
Word Count: 1.3K
Anon Request: hiii oki req (if u want pls take ur time) i think this is prob OOC butttttt spence + reader being in love and they don’t even realize it but they still kiss/ cuddle when they hang out and stuff and just say “we’re really close is all” “best friends kiss!” and stuff..
Navigation || Criminal Minds Masterlist || Request
🏷️ @kr-1-sta @iluvreid @nervousmoongiver @multifandom-on-the-side @ferrjulie
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Affection in friendships aren’t always the same. Some friends hugged, some friends rarely talked yet maintained a healthy friendship, some friends even showed the smallest bit of intimacy due to their comfortability.
You and Spencer were just a tad different. You two would cuddle, share brief pecks on the lips, as well as sometimes shower together whenever you were in a rush on a case and got a brief break.
It wasn’t anything inherently romantic or sexual, just something that came easy. The team was highly convinced you both had a secret relationship. Which was fair enough, however no matter how many explanations, they never seemed to be enough.
Tonight the team was having a small watch party for a new show at Penelope’s apartment. She’d been so desperate for the team to have something like a show they watched together, or special games to play together. Nobody could really say no.
You had arrived with a handful of snacks just an hour prior, helping one of your favorite coworkers set up her apartment for the night ahead. As expected, it turned from you helping to the bubbly blonde interrogating you over the aspect of a potential relationship.
“We aren’t dating, Pen.” Your head shook as you were filling a bowl with pretzels, taking it to the table in order to place it in the available space surrounded by other snacks. “I saw you guys kiss before you left the office yesterday! What kind of friends kiss each other on the lips?? If this is normal, we need to make Derek aware because I am missing out.” Penelope huffed out of frustration. “Mark my words, I will get to the bottom of this. When I find out that you are secretly dating, I will bring all of the hurt!” The blonde held up her fist while narrowing her eyes in your direction.
By the grace of all things holy, it wasn’t long until the team had slowly begun to show up. There were no more interrogations, not yet anyway. As everyone was piling up on the couch, there was very limited room for you as you walked out of the kitchen. “Fuck.” You groaned, arms crossed. “I am not sitting on the floor!”
“You can sit with me.” Spencer spoke up from his spot at the far end of the couch, his shoulders shrugging as his hand patted his thighs to offer you the spot in his lap. “Come on! This is a family friendly show! None of that.” Emily groaned, which had you rolling your eyes as you were heading over to sit yourself on your best friend’s lap.
“It’s not a big deal.” You protested her dramatics while your body was leaning into Spencer’s chest, your body snuggling closer to his as the show began at its scheduled time. However instead of enjoying the programme, you were too busy ignoring all the curious stares from your friends. “Come on!” You huffed while pushing yourself to sit up. “What is the big deal? You’re all staring like we are animals in a zoo.” In all honesty, you were annoyed with the way people stared. You were friends, doing platonic things.
“Look. Kid, I hate to say it but you two are definitely a little too close for what friends should be. What kind of friends do you know that kiss each other? And yes, I know, they are pecks. I’m just saying.” Derek put his hands up as he broke the silence.
“It’s not a crime to have a crush on one another or to date one another.” JJ added soon after while letting her shoulders shrug. “We aren’t dating though.” Spencer confirmed everything you’ve been preaching while looking at the group in confusion. “Spencer, you haven’t eaten any snacks tonight because all of our hands have been in the bowl. It makes no sense to me that you’d kiss her considering the mouth has like a bajillion germs.” Penelope added.
“Well, the mouth has over a billion different germs and we don’t know the exact amount.” He corrected as he looked up at you for help. “I assumed we were normal?” He spoke up while you nodded in agreement. “I thought we were, too.” You huffed while leaning against his chest.
“It’s not even the hugging, kissing, and lap sitting. You guys just look so head over heels from an outside perspective. I mean, you hang out together all the time, you always room together, plus you guys go out on dates. You may not look at it that way but come on. You are both profilers. How do you not pick up on how you feel about one another?” Emily asked while frowning softly.
The more they were talking and giving actual points, the more you were thinking over the course of your friendship with Spencer. You’d always been close, even after your first initial meeting when you joined the team. You could remember how shocked the team was because the typically quiet and socially awkward genius was the first one to welcome you. You’d managed to become close friends over the course of two weeks. The first time Spencer even hugged you was after a case where he’d been put in harm's way. He came to you for comfort. You.
The first time you started your pecks on the lips, it was due to a complete accident when you tried to kiss his cheek but his head turned to face you. It just seemed.. Right. No matter how flustered you both were or how you felt butterflies in your belly, you just dismissed it. You being lost in thought was concerning enough for Spencer. “Hey. Do you wanna step outside?” His voice pulled you out of your thoughts, your head nodding. “Yeah, please head out with me.”
He helped you to your feet before his hand was gently holding yours, leading you out of the room.
“How much do you wanna bet that they are gonna actually kiss out there?” Aaron spoke up after being silent a majority of the night, the team turning to the unit chief who normally wouldn’t have inserted himself. “I’ll take those odds,” Derek smirked while getting his wallet.
Out in the hallway, you had your arms crossed as you looked away from Spencer. “I know that we are best friends and I promise you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I just really want you to tell me one thing,” You spoke while turning your head back to face him. “Did you ever, at any point, have feelings for me? Be honest.”
The words had Spencer’s face bright red, his hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I’ve always thought you were amazing.” He spoke while offering a shy smile. “I just didn’t want things to get weird. I like our friendship and the relationship that we have isn’t something that could be ruined. Dating friends can get messy and.. I don’t wanna live a life without you in it. I can’t even fathom a reality where you aren’t here.” He responded.
“So you did?”
“Y-yeah. I just didn’t want-”
Your hands were gripping his upper arms while you were gently shaking him. “Why didn’t you say anything?!” You asked while staring at him with wide eyes. “I’ve always been fond of you!” You added, his surprised look making you laugh softly. “God. How are we profilers?”
“You know, I’m not so sure. I think we are rusty.” Spencer responded, a little chuckle leaving his lips. “So.. Is there a chance? You know.. Us?” He asked softly while you nodded. “I do think there’s a good chance.” You responded while Spencer sighed in relief. “So it won’t be weird if I do this.”
“Do what?”
His hands were gently cupping your cheeks, taking every opportunity to press his lips against yours, much different than you were both used to but it carried the same feeling as all the little pecks have all this time. It was right. Like you were meant to be together.
“I’m pretty sure they are running bets. Do we tell them we kissed or pretend like nothing happened?”
“I want Derek to lose his money in that scenario, so let’s not tell them yet.” Spencer chuckled.
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 9 months ago
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Bad Day
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Summary: The reader's been kidnapped while working a lead in Montana. But her old friend Beau doesn't seem all that thrilled when he finds her...
Pairing: Beau x reader
Word Count: 1,200ish
Warnings: language, minor kidnapping
A/N: Wrote a little Beau to get over some writer's block. Enjoy!
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You sighed behind the tape over your mouth. God this was embarrassing. Held hostage by a pair of idiot drug dealers. You couldn’t believe it. To be fair, you weren’t expecting a guy to come around the corner of the house with a shotgun in hand.
A door kicked in nearby, your eyes darting to the left. A familiar shadow fell over the room, your shoulders relaxing as Beau cleared the space, jaw hard set. He frowned as he approached you, kneeling down slowly, careful as he pulled the tape away. 
“You okay?” he asked quietly, leaning you forward slightly so he could cut through the zip ties behind you.
“Only hurt my pride,” you said, stretching your arms out in front of you. Beau’s face was grim though and a churn formed in your gut. “Did someone get hurt?”
“No,” he said, pulling you to your feet. He grabbed the radio off his belt, focus back on the doorway. “I got her. She looks alright but make sure a paramedic looks her over.”
“Is everything okay?” you asked, not expecting the cold shoulder from Beau of all people. 
“Just be quiet until we get the all clear.” You took your turn to frown. You’d known Beau a long time. Hell, he’d been your senior partner when you were a rookie back in Houston when he was still doing street patrols. It hadn’t been that long a run as partners but you’d always been friends, would run your cases by each other. Shit, that’s the whole reason you were up here, Beau helping you with a case you tracked this way. He didn’t still see you as that kid who didn’t know anything, did he?
After getting caught though, who the hell knew. You were disappointed in yourself. You wouldn’t be surprised if he were too.
A long sixty seconds passed before everyone had checked in, Beau’s stance easing. You brushed past him and went upstairs, found your own way outside and over to an ambulance pulling up the drive. They examined you, wrapping up a scrape you’d gotten on your arm but otherwise you were fine. 
Beau stormed out of the house grumpily as they were finishing, stalking over to where you sat at the end of the open abundance. 
“Is she alright?”
“Yeah. Minor bumps and bruises.”
“My officers are bringing two suspects out of the woods any minute. I’m told they’ll need medical attention.” Beau nodded towards a red truck and then his large hand was wrapped loosely around your bicep. You stared at him as he urged you forward, scanning the area once before your gaze shot to where he was focused straight ahead.
“I can walk on my own,” you said, tugging on your arm once but Beau ignored you. You opened your mouth but he ripped open the passenger side door, practically shoving you inside. You glared when he slammed the door shut, Beau behind the wheel quickly. “What do you think-”
“Can you just-” He bit his tongue, backing the truck out as you shook your head. 
“What the hell is your problem? Yeah, I let two guys get the jump on me. That doesn't make me weak or a bad cop. It certainly doesn’t give you the right to treat me l-like I’m some sort of idiot. I asked you for help because my trail led me up here. I found that, that was my work. I am not-”
“Y/N, could you stop for one fucking second?” Beau snapped. He quickly pulled over and got out of the vehicle, walking on the shoulder. He stopped ten feet away from the truck, leaning over, hands on his knees, head tucked down low. You slipped outside, one hand on the door.
“Beau?” You took a few steps closer, Beau righting himself, hands on his hips. “What’s wrong?”
He laughed dryly, lowering his head as he spun around. 
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” he asked back, shaking his head, shrugging his shoulders as he raised his head to face you. “Em found a dead body five months ago. She was kidnapped. I barely managed to convince Carla to let Em stay so I could be there for her. I have just, just stopped hating myself for not being able to protect her and what happens again? Another fucking person I love gets kidnapped.”
“Beau…” You stepped closer, grabbing one of his hands as he took a deep breath. “I’m a cop. I’m a big girl. I don’t need you to protect me.”
“I don’t care if you are capable, Y/N.” Worried green eyes watched you, an unease in them you didn’t like. “You are still mine to protect.” 
You wanted to argue that you weren’t weak but his hand cupped your cheek in a so not friendly way, sliding back to your ear to brush a sweaty strand of hair aside. 
“What are you doing?” you asked quietly, his hand starting to pull away. You caught it, Beau leaving it on your shoulder, playing with the ends of your hair. “Beau.”
“I should have been investigating with you. You could have been so hurt, darlin’.” 
“For a chatterbox you know how to avoid a question, don’t you?” His lip nearly twitched up at that and you smiled softly. “Talk to me, Barlen.”
“Such a stupid nickname,” he chided, swiping his thumb over your bottom lip. 
“You always liked it.”
“I did.” He swallowed thickly, tracing his thumb over your lip again. “You were always a good friend but when you came up to Montana without me even calling when you heard about Em…you were so good with her, keeping her mind off stuff while I found us that bigger place…I think I finally saw you for the first time. I was so goddamn scared you would get hurt today. I couldn’t think straight and I have only felt that helpless on one other case before. Em’s.”
Beau leaned in close, moving his hand to the back of your neck, pressing soft, moist lips against you. It was slow, oh so slow, but you could feel the heat behind it. The need for more. He moved away too soon though, fixing your hair once more as he did so.
“I didn’t mean to be an ass earlier. I just…didn’t want my team seeing me freaking out.”
“...We will discuss that later,” you said, wrapping your arms around his trim waist. He raised an eyebrow as you smiled. “Come on, we both had bad days. Give me a hug and kiss to make it better.”
“You…what are you saying?” You playfully growled, pressing your forehead against his strong body. “Do you…like me too?”
“It’s a miracle you were married once before. We’ll figure out labels tomorrow. Just kiss me, Barlen.”
“Fine, but only cause I was holding back on that last one.”
__________
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rhiannonsknife · 7 days ago
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— BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER (part 1)
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— summary: you’re still getting over your past situationship when you meet nat scatorccio.
— warnings: drinking/alcohol. implied period typical homophobia. based on this request.
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the music pounds through the walls of the house, every beat rattling through your skull and adding to the dizziness you’re already feeling. you’re perched on the edge of the bathtub, clutching a half-empty red cup you’ve forgotten about. the drink has long since lost its taste, and the buzz you’d been riding earlier is wearing off in the worst possible way.
tears fall, slow and relentless, even as you try to force them back. it’s pathetic, you know it is as you look at the mascara smeared face that greets you in the reflection of the mirror ahead.
none of this was supposed to happen. you weren’t supposed to end up here, locked in a bathroom at some stupid party, crying over someone who never cared enough to give you what you wanted. the same old story. you saw it coming, but that doesn’t make it hurt less. it doesn’t make the loneliness any easier to bear.
you run a shaky hand through your hair and wipe at your burning eyes, the red cup slipping slightly as you press it between your palms. it was supposed to be different this time, not feel like the same heartbreak you’ve lived through so many times before. she was different. or at least, you thought she was. that’s what you kept telling yourself while you fell for the girl who promised she was ready to be with you, who made all the right moves, said all the right things.
but when it came down to it, she couldn’t even look you in the eye as you tried to talk about it a couple of weeks ago. all she could do was calling things ‘complicated’ and saying that maybe she wasn’t ready for something real. no apology. no real excuse. and now here she is at the same party, dancing with some guy in a way she never would have with you, leaving you no choice but to watch from across the room.
the bathroom door creaks open suddenly, and you quickly wipe at your face, trying to compose yourself. the last thing you need is for somebody to walk in on one of the cheerleaders looking like this. but it’s too late.
“occupied,” you mumble.
“yeah, no shit,” a dry voice responds
you look up, surprised to see one of the yellowjackets standing against the doorframe. you know her, obviously, if only from a distance, from watching games from the sidelines after performing: natalie scatorccio. she’s the one with the shaggy, bleach blonde hair and that perpetually bored look in her eyes, the one who always wears vintage band tees and a leather jacket if she’s not in her soccer jersey number 7.
“sorry,” you mumble, trying to sound like you’re not completely falling apart. “i’ll leave,”
natalie doesn’t move. she crosses her arms and leans against the wall, her smirk softening. “relax,” she says. “not like i’m dying to hang out with the drunk assholes out there.”
you blink at her, caught off guard. “then why are you here?”
she shrugs, stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. “needed a break. but you-“ her eyes flick to your tear-streaked cheeks. “-are you okay?”
“do i look okay?” you snap, voice wobbling.
natalie raises her hands in mock surrender. “fair enough. want to talk about it, or should i leave you to…whatever this is?”
you hesitate, staring down at your cup. she’s a stranger, but something about her feels steady, like she’s not here to judge or pry. before you know it, the words are tumbling out.
“i hooked up with someone. someone i really liked. and they…didn’t feel the same way,”
natalie hums, leaning back against the counter. “cheerleader, right?”
“uh, yeah. how’d you know?”
her grin is small, knowing. “lucky guess,” she gestures vaguely toward your perfect ponytail, the neatly pressed outfit you're wearing (or what's left of it after the night's events). "also, your whole squad has that...same vibe, you know?"
“a vibe?” you echo, frowning.
“you know.” she shrugs. “acting like you’ve got it all together, even when you’re crying in a bathroom…”
you bristle slightly. “well, clearly, i don’t,”
“clearly,” she says, with a smirk that’s just shy of teasing. then, more seriously: “so, what happened?”
you hesitate, then sigh. “i thought we had something. but they didn’t see it that way. basically said i was imagining things!”
natalie tilts her head. “cheerleader too?”
her tone is careful, and the question catches you off guard, though you don't bother denying it. with the amount of cheap liquor you've had, there’s no point in trying to lie. besides, she doesn't strike you as the type to judge, considering the fact that she was the one to bring it up.
“yeah,”
she lets out a dry laugh, shaking her head. “figures. you guys are always so tangled up together,”
you glance up at her, defensive. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
“it’s just…” she shrugs. “predictable. all sunshine and pom-poms until someone gets stabbed in the back!”
“not all of us are like that,” you mutter, wrapping your arms around yourself.
“oh, yeah?” she quirks an eyebrow. “then why are you in here crying?”
her bluntness stings, but it cuts through the fog in your head. at least she's not sugarcoating things just to make you feel better. you exhale sharply, and before you can stop yourself, you’re speaking again. “because i thought she actually cared. i thought…” you trail off, shaking your head.
natalie’s expression shifts slightly, something softer slipping through as she shoves her hands into her pockets. “people suck,” she says simply.
you laugh weakly, despite yourself. “yeah. they really do!”
the room falls into silence again, but it’s not uncomfortable. you feel lighter, somehow, like just talking to her has already taken some of the weight off your chest. for the first time tonight, you feel like you can breathe again.
natalie shifts, standing upright and jerking her chin toward the door. “c’mon. this party fucking sucks anyway. let’s get out of here!”
you hesitate, glancing toward the door. “what, you’re just gonna leave?”
she shrugs, her hands still tucked in her pockets. “what’s the point of staying? and let me guess: you’re not exactly dying to run into her again tonight either?”
your stomach twists at the thought, and you shake your head. “no. definitely not!”
“exactly,” natalie says, stepping away from the wall. “so let’s bail. the night’s already shitty, might as well make it less shitty!”
“you want me to come with you?”
she smirks faintly. “you want to stay here crying in the bathroom?”
you let out a soft laugh despite yourself. “alright, fair point”
natalie gestures toward the door. “come on. i know a spot. it’s better than this place, anyway,”
‘better than this place’ isn’t exactly a high bar, but something about the way she says it makes you trust her. you nod, leaving your cup on the counter. “alright. lead the way!”
natalie doesn’t say anything else, just pushes open the bathroom door and leads you through the party. the noise and chaos feel even more overwhelming after the relative quiet, but she moves through it carelessly. you follow her out to the driveway, where her beat-up car sits under a flickering streetlight.
“get in” she says, jerking her head towards the passenger side.
you hesitate for a moment before climbing in. the interior is as unpolished as you’d expect, the faint smell of cigarette smoke lingering in the air. natalie slides into the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut and cranking the engine to life.
“where are we going?” you ask as she starts driving off.
“somewhere quiet,” she says simply, her eyes fixed on the road ahead.
fifteen minutes later, you’re parked at a deserted overlook just outside town. only there, natalie cuts the ignition and leans back, pulling a pack of cigarettes from her jacket.
“want one?” she asks, holding it out to you.
you shake your head. “not my thing”
“suit yourself.” natalie lights one up, the orange glow illuminating her face in the otherwise dark space. for a while, neither of you says anything, the silence surprisingly comfortable.
“so,” natalie starts, breaking the quiet. “you really liked this girl, huh?”
you sigh, leaning your head back against the seat. “yeah. i thought…i don’t know, i thought we had something!”
“maybe she’s just an idiot,” she offers, her voice dry though not unkind. “her loss, right?”
you glance at her, watching the way her face lights up from the faint glow of her cigarette. “what about you, natalie? ever had…dunno, someone break your heart?”
she winces playfully at the name. “natalie? god, no one calls me that. it’s just nat!”
“nat,” you repeat. “alright, nat, what about you then?
she exhales a stream of smoke, her gaze fixed on the horizon through the window shield. “not really,” she says after a pause. “i’ve had my fair share of bullshit. people thinking they can get close, but only on their terms,”
“that sounds…” you trail off, searching for the right word.
“exhausting?” nat supplies, flicking ash out the window. “yeah, it is.”
familiar, is what you were going for, but you suppose ‘exhausting’ will do. you study her for a moment, the sharp angles of her face in the dimly lit space. “you’re not what i expected, you know?”
nat glances sideways at you. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
you shrug, leaning back against the headrest. “i don’t know. i see you at school sometimes…and with the whole soccer thing, i guess i just figured you’d be different,”
“different how?” she presses, curiosity piqued.
“i don’t know,” you hesitate, searching for the right words. “the team’s such a big deal. everyone’s always talking about the yellowjackets since you guys won nationals,”
nat lets out a dry laugh, taking another drag of her cigarette.
“trust me, we’re just a bunch of idiots kicking a ball around. nothing special”
“you’re good, though,” you counter. “regionals last year? that goal you scored? pretty badass!”
“you were there?”
“i’m a cheerleader, remember? i’m at all the games. you don’t really notice us, though, do you?”
“not my thing,” she says with a grimace. “but, uh, thanks. i guess,”
the conversation continues, ebbing and flowing with surprising ease. turns out that nat scatorccio is not at all how you had expected her to be.
eventually, as she runs out of cigarettes to smoke, the cold starts to seep in, and you shiver. nat notices, shrugging off her leather jacket and holding it out to you.
“here,” she says. “you’re gonna freeze to death!”
you blink at her, surprised. a part of you wants to argue, but the goosebumps on your arms speak volumes. “are you sure? won’t you be cold?”
“i’ll survive,” she says, rolling her eyes. “just take it!”
you do, slipping it on quickly. it’s oversized on you, the sleeves hanging past your hands, and smells faintly of smoke. it’s warm, at least, and you murmur “thanks” as your finger clutch at the fabric.
“don’t mention it,” she replies, stubbing out her cigarette. “c’mon, let’s get you home before someone calls the cops on me for kidnapping a cheerleader”
you laugh, the tension easing from your chest as she starts the car and pulls back onto the road, letting you navigate the route to your house.
the drive is quieter this time, the party and all your earlier heartbreak feeling strangely far away. nat drums her fingers on the steering wheel in time with a song playing faintly on the radio.
when she stops in front of your house, you hesitate for a moment before opening the door. “thanks for tonight,” you say, your voice softer than you mean it to be.
she shrugs, her gaze flicking toward you. “don’t overthink it, alright? i just…didn’t want you crying in some gross bathroom all night,”
“well, i appreciate it. see you around?”
“maybe,” she says, a half-smile on her face as you climb out of the car and close the door behind you.
you stand on your front porch for a long moment, watching her tail lights disappear into the night. only then, when theres only the pitch black darkness of the street left ahead of you and nat’s car is long gone, you make your way inside.
it isn’t until you’re curled up in the comfort bed that you notice it: nat’s leather jacket is still wrapped snugly around your shoulders. you hadn’t even thought to take it off, too distracted by the events of the night. now, as you bury your face into the worn leather, you can’t help but smile as you inhale what is a mixture of the scent of her cologne and cigarettes.
the thought makes you grin despite yourself, and you let the warmth of the jacket lull you to sleep, unbothered by the fact that you’re still in a full face of makeup and the clothes you wore to the party.
somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re already thinking about how to return it, though the idea of seeing her again doesn’t feel like a chore at all.
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the gym is still buzzing with energy, the echoes of the rally lingering in the air. you're perched on the bleachers, fiddling with the hem of your cheer skirt as the crowd begins to disperse.
the yellowjackets are clustered near the far corner, laughing and shoving at each other while coach martinez barks something about practice tomorrow that you can understand clearly even from a distance and amongst the giggles of the other cheerleaders.
your eyes, however, are locked on one player only.
she's leaning against the wall, arms crossed, her signature smirk firmly in place as she banters with lottie. she doesn't seem to notice you staring. if she does, she doesn't let on. her hair is messy, sweaty strands sticking to her neck, and there's a small smear of dirt on her cheek that she clearly doesn't care enough about to wipe away.
the ache in your chest is as confusing as it is frustrating. you're not supposed to feel this way about her, of all people. not after how your recent situationship ended. you'd made the stubborn promise to yourself hat you would not end up falling for another girl in the foreseeable future. and yet, here you are, watching nat scatorccio from afar.
"hey"
the voice beside you makes you jump, and you whip around to find her -the girl you'd been seeing, or whatever you'd been doing-hovering uncertainly at your side. only yesterday, the sight would've made your heart ache. now, it just annoys you that she's interrupted your people (nat) watching.
"uh, hi," you mumble, glancing back at nat almost instinctively. the girl notices, following your gaze. "since when do you care about soccer?"
"what? i don't, i wasn't-" you cut yourself off, realizing how pointless it is to lie. "i was just…..zoning out,"
"sure," she says, her tone clipped. she shifts awkwardly, crossing her arms. "look, about the other night-"
whatever she's saying is drowned out by your own thoughts: nat's laughing at something van said, her smile wide and unrestrained. it's different from the smirk she usually wears. it's softer, more real somehow, and your heart stumbles stupidly in your chest.
"are you even listening to me?" she suddenly asks sharply, pulling your attention back to your side of the gym.
you blink, caught off guard. "sorry, what?"
she rolls her eyes, clearly exasperated. "forget it. i just thought we should talk about...whatever this is. or was!"
you don't want to talk, especially not to her. she's made her stance clear. still, you offer: "yeah, no, you're right. we should. just... maybe later?"
she scoffs, throwing up her hands. "whatever. good talk!" you don't even have the energy to stop her as she stalks off, the sound of her sneakers echoing sharply in the nearly empty gym. your gaze drifts back to nat, then, and you catch her glancing your way. your breath catches, the conversation instantly forgotten, but she looks away before you can tell whether she actually noticed you, or if it was just wishful thinking.
even the school parking lot is alive with post-rally energy by the time you and the rest of the cheer squad has made it out of the locker rooms and you're no longer in the tight outfit.
the yellowjackets are lounging around their cars, hard to miss when they're still in their jerseys. you spot nat leaning against her car, a bright yellow number 7 on her chest and a cigarette dangling lazily between her fingers. she's clearly disinterested in whatever story misty is animatedly telling beside her.
your heart thuds uncomfortably as you approach, clutching the leather jacket in your hands. the nerves aren't new, you've felt them every time you've seen her since that night, but this time, it's worse: she's with her teammates, and they're all staring at you the moment you come into view.
"hey," you call out, offering a small wave. "i, uh...i have something that's yours?"
nat's eyes narrow slightly before flicking to the jacket in your hands.
“oh my god, nat,” taissa teases, leaning casually against van's shoulder. "didn't know you were in the habit of lending your stuff to cheerleaders!"
she exhales a puff of smoke, side-eyeing tai. “shut up!”
you bite your lip, stepping closer. “here. thanks for letting me borrow it!” you hold out the jacket, trying to keep your voice steady with the whole team watching the exchange.
nat takes another drag from her cigarette, letting the silence hang for just a beat too long, before, finally, taking the jacket from your hands. “no problem,”
van raises an eyebrow, smirking the exact same way taissa is.
“well, this is new. didn't know you two were friends...?”
“we're not,” nat says quickly, her tone defensive. you glance at her, the sting of her words hitting sharper than you expect.
“but she's nice,” misty chimes in, clearly delighted by the interaction. “and really good at flips! i saw you at the rally. you did that back handspring thing-“
“misty, not now,” lottie interrupts, shaking her head.
“anyway,” you say, forcing a smile despite the awkward tension.
“thanks again, nat. and...see you around…?”
nat shrugs on the jacket. “thanks, i guess,” she mutters, not meeting your eyes.
“uh, no,” you say, catching her off guard. “i'm thanking you. for, you know...saving my ass the other night...?”
nat quirks a brow at you, clearly unimpressed. “right. well, you already said that. so, we're good!” she shifts on her feet, clearly itching to leave. “see you around, cheerleader!”
and with that, she's gone, her boots scuffing against the asphalt as she falls into step with taissa and van.
turns out you do see nat around, more often than she seems to like.
the first time you spot her in the halls, it's almost comical how badly you fail at playing it cool. nat's leaning against a locker, her bag slung carelessly over one shoulder, chatting with somebody you don't recognize. you walk past and try to keep your head down, but you can't resist glancing over at the last second.
unfortunately, nat very much notices: she smirks, raising an eyebrow in what you can only assume is amusement at your awkwardness. “hey, cheerleader,” she calls, her voice echoing in the hall.
“uh, hi!” you manage, voice coming out brighter than intended. the person by her side snickers, but nat doesn't say anything else, and you slink away, your face burning.
the second time, you're determined to do better.
you catch her near the parking lot, hanging around with a group of guys you've never seen around before. she's got a bottle in a paper bag, her posture lazy and self-assured, and for a moment, you stop in your tracks, hesitant. but then you remember her kindness at the party, and you square your shoulders. the least you can do is thank her properly.
“hey, natalie,” you call as you approach, and she glances over, her expression one of confusion before recognition flashes over her features.
“it's nat,” she corrects automatically, taking a swig from the bottle.
“what do you want?”
you dig into your pocket and pull out the scrap of paper, you'd prepared in class, holding it out to her. “here!”
she takes it, frowning. “what's this?”
“my number,” you say, surprising even yourself with how steady your voice is.
nat snorts. “yeah, no thanks. not really my thing.”
“no, not like that!” you insist quickly, though your face warms. “it's just...if you ever want to talk, or hang out, or whatever. i still owe you for that night, remember?”
her eyes narrow as she studies you, and for a moment, you're sure she's going to crumple the paper and toss it. but instead, she tucks it into her jacket pocket with a shrug. you consider it a small win when you leave her to it.
the third time you try your luck with nat, it's after school. nat's sitting on the steps outside, looking a little less put-together than usual: her hair's messier, her leather jacket slightly crinkled, and she's perched on the edge of a concrete step, surrounded by a few other yellowjackets.
you hesitate, shifting your weight from foot to foot, wondering if you should just let it go for today. but then you remember the way she looked at you the first time you crossed paths after the party, how her gaze softened just a little and how willing to hold nat had been, and it pushes you forward.
you walk up to her, purposefully ignoring the eyes of the other yellowjackets, but determined to try anyway.
“hey,” you say, a little unsure.
nat looks up at you then, her eyes calculating as she takes in your approach. for a moment, she doesn't say anything, just watching you with a furrowed brow. you can feel the familiar rush of nerves, but you push through it anyway.
“do you have a minute?” you ask, trying to sound casual. her lips twitch in what might be the beginning of a smirk, but she doesn't move. “no cheerleading practice today?”
you blink in surprise until you remember: she knows. of course she knows. everyone knows. it's hard to miss you bouncing around in that uniform, especially when you're standing next to your teammates, who always make a point of making everything so damn loud.
“no, not today,” you reply, glancing down at your shoes. “i...thought i'd take a break. come see what you're up to...?”
she doesn't immediately respond, but her eyes flick to the group of yellowjackets gathered around her, clearly sensing that they're all watching in anticipation. nat takes a long drag from her cigarette before replying in her usual dry tone. “why are you here, cheerleader? got another number for me to ignore?”
you almost laugh: the way she says it isn't cruel or mean, but teasing instead.
“no,” you say, shaking your head. “just wanted to check in. i haven't really heard from you since that night. thought i’d see if you were still alive!” nat doesn't seem fazed by the comment. she just exhales a puff of smoke before she replies: “i'm fine,”
you bite your lip but continue, “so you're not mad at me for, you know, giving you my number? for-“
“i'm not mad,” nat interjects. “just don't expect me to be...all friendly, alright?”
you feel a flash of disappointment, but try not to show it. instead, you nod, aiming for a smile but landing more on an awkward grimace. “fair enough. just thought i'd try, you know?”
for a moment, nat just looks at you, her expression unreadable. you're about to turn away, thinking you've pushed too much, when she suddenly speaks again. “you're persistent, i'll give you that,”
you turn back, blinking in surprise.
“maybe it's because i don't like giving up," you reply, your heart skipping a beat. "i really do owe you for what happened that night.”
she shrugs, the motion almost lazy. “you don't have to keep thanking me,”
“i know” you tell her. “but if you ever want to grab a coffee or something, i mean..i'll be around”
just when you think she's going to dismiss you again, she looks over at the group, making sure they're not listening, then back at you. “i'll think about it, cheerleader,” nat says, her voice softer than usual. “but if we do this, i get to decide where we go. deal?”
you blink, surprised by her answer, but you can't hide the grin that spreads across your face. that's not a no. it's far from it, actually.
“deal,” you agree, heart racing in your chest hopefully.
“good,” she says, her lips curling slightly as she pats her pocket, where she must still keep the note with your number on it. “i’ll let you know when. don't go getting your hopes up, though!”
and with that, she turns back to the group, pulling the collar of her jacket up higher, but you catch the smallest smile before she does.
you're not sure if you've just secured somewhat of a date with nat scatorccio or if you're just being hopeful. either way you’re not ready to back down yet.
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you don't hear back from nat right away. truthfully, you're not sure you ever will. then, three days later, just when you've pretty much given up on it, the telephone rings.
“hello?” you say, balancing the phone between your ear and shoulder as you set your homework aside.
“hey, cheerleader”
your heart practically jumps at the sound of nat's voice, low and almost reluctant, as though she's already second-guessing this decision
“nat?” you ask, sitting up straighter.
“yeah,” she replies, and you can practically hear her smirking through the phone. “i said i'd think about it, didn't i?”
a stupidly wide smile spreads across your face before you can stop it.
“you did. so, what's the verdict?”
there's a pause on the other end, and then: “tomorrow night. meet me at the bowling alley on main street, eight o'clock?”
“bowling?” you repeat, surprised.
“yeah, you know? shoes that look like fucking clown rejects, greasy fries, cheap drinks?” she pauses, and her voice takes on a teasing edge. “figured it'd be fun to see you totally suck at something for once!”
you laugh softly, shaking your head. “wow, thanks for the vote of confidence. are you any good?”
nat immediately snorts, and the sound is so sudden and genuine that it makes your grin widen. “hell no. i fucking suck. but they've got an arcade, so if we both bomb at bowling, at least there's that!”
“an arcade?”
“what, you don't think i could beat your ass at pinball?”
“oh i think i could destroy you at pinball, actually!” you laugh into the speaker
“big talk, cheerleader,” nat says, her smirk audible. “guess we'll see, huh?”
“guess we will,” you reply, still smiling.
there's a moment of silence before she speaks again, her tone quieter now. “see you tomorrow, then. don't flake!”
“i won't," you promise. “you better not either!”
nat scoffs lightly. “yeah, yeah. see you at eight!”
before you can respond, the line goes dead, leaving you with the telephone pressed to your ear, smiling like an idiot.
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— a/n: happy new year everyone!! here’s the first part of my little nat series (masterlist) <3
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whatifitis · 2 months ago
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♡ I See You - LN 4 ♡
Summary: Lando is under immense stress due to his career and he can't drag down his love with him. Will their relationship survive a horror movie?
Author's Note: This was requested and as soon as I saw it, I was excited to start it and I had so many ideas for this so I hope y'all enjoy it!
WC: 6k+ with some instagram posts
CW: poor mental health, a bit of angst, a kiss here and there, happy ending
-=+=-
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479,271 likes
f1 Just one lap could’ve made all the difference for Lando’s race 😣
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User32 Lando needs to stop thinking he ‘should’ve won’ it’s starting to seem a little entitled.. The two ahead of him have 165 wins between them
User33 They completely ruined Oscar’s race
User34 the only thing he brings to McLaren and F1 is shame
User35 Geez people in the comments are so quick to say hateful things but don’t think about how their words hurt, lando is pressuring himself into doing good and yall just wanna hate on him at any chance you get
-=+=-
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Liked by bestieusername and others
f1gossip sources close to the couple are saying that Lando Norris and Y/n L/n have split after just 7 months together
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User22 she was just one of the girls he’ll date for like a summer then leave when he’s bored. Can’t wait to see who the next slut is
User67 she lost color in her face since she’s been with him, glad she finally knows her worth
User54 she looked so bored recently, and i mean it’s her right since he practically love bombed her
-=+=-
“I can’t break you when I’m breaking.” - was all you heard before everything went silent. 
You and Lando had been together for about 7 months, not all of which was rainbows and daisies. 
When you first met, it was like stepping into the sun again after having spent so long in the dark. You had your fair share of heartaches before Lando. It was hard for you to give in to him at first, but after a few weeks, you gave in and you’re grateful for giving not only him, but yourself a chance. 
You knew what you were getting into when you started dating him. You knew he was a driver in F1 and that his fanbase could be quite protective of him. You also were aware of his crazy schedule with the races and meetings and training. Lando also told you about how he and his ex had to break up due to the invasion of privacy that was experienced, and how his ex simply couldn’t do it anymore, which is more than understandable. But even with every warning he gave you, you still stayed. 
These past few weeks have been chaotic though. Lando is a strong contender for the WDC this year against Max and there’s pressure and eyes all around him. You’ve watched as the media berated him for weeks and weeks, never letting up. Everyone has high expectations of him and it’s slowly destroying him, even if he can’t see it yet. 
You won’t lie, it has indeed had an impact on your guys’ relationship. Not only is distance and time difference straining you two, but the constant analysis and comments from the media have taken a toll. 
It was obvious to you that Lando would be gone for most weeks out of the year, but now, even when he is home, he’s not fully there. It’s like he’s a ghost in his own home, his own body. 
“You’re not breaking me” - you tell him. But you both know you’re lying. As much as you may love him, his distance has been something that has destroyed you. You started to wonder what you were doing wrong, how could you fix this? 
“I am, and it’s hurting me so much that I’m doing this to you when you don’t deserve all this shit. You deserve so much more. You deserve all the good things in life, like seeing your partner for more than a week, going to the grocery store without being stalked by fans, having someone who can be there for you, someone who won’t drag you down.” he says, tears streaming down his face. His hands are shaking at the thought of losing you, but he knows he loves you too much to let you down. He’s completely broken now. His heart aches and sinks every time he thinks about how you’re being treated. He doesn’t want to be the person who takes your sparkle, who makes you feel less of a person. 
“You’re not. I’m fine. We’re fine, love. I can handle it, all the shit that’s getting thrown at us. We can survive this horror movie.” you try to convince him… convince yourself, as tears are now streaming down your face as well. 
“We can’t. I’m not the way I was, I’m not the same person I was when we met.” you watch as he takes a shaky breath in, trying to compose himself, “All I ever wanted was to drive and race in Formula 1. But now that I have it, it doesn’t feel enough. As soon as I joined, so much pressure was put on me to be the best. When I started, the car was shit, so I helped make it better, and I did. I feel like all I’m doing is trying and trying to please everyone and to be who they want me to be, but it’s so hard. And this isn’t what I wanted. I just wanted to race and have fun, not drive myself to the point of destruction. I don’t want to be the machine that the team, media, and fans want me, and expect me to be. I feel like I’m giving my all to the team and to the sport but it’s not enough and it’ll never be enough. I feel like I’m stuck and I can’t get out no matter what I do. The one thing I wanted all my life, and now it’s mine. But it feels like I’m theirs.” he lets out an ironic laugh. 
You slowly walk to him, moving to hold his hands in yours. Without missing a beat, one of your hands gently lifts his chin, making his eyes connect with yours. 
“They’re feeding you to the wolves and it’s unfair. They cheer your name until the lights go out, then they throw you to the side and disregard you till the next time they need you. They’re not fair to you and it’s draining you. You have a look that I can’t recognize. You used to love this sport with all your heart but now it’s the thing that’s killing you.”
“But I need to keep going. I need to prove that I can be what they want. I need to prove that I’m not just some spoiled, ignorant kid who paid his way to this place. I need to show that I earned my right to be here and to have this seat.” he tries to explain. 
“I understand that, Lan. But we need to find a better way to handle all this. It’s clearly taking a toll on you and your health. It’s been a long year. You’re constantly watched and analyzed, with people documenting your every move to create sickening plots for their stories of you, of us. They expect so much, so you’re expected to follow, but that’s not how it’s supposed to work.” He pulls back from you, removing his hands from yours and taking steps back. You watch as he begins to pace the room, shaking his head as he speaks. 
“To know me is to hate me, and to hate what I’ve become. It’s to watch me fail over and over again, and I can’t keep doing this to you. I can’t let you hold my hand in yours anymore.” he says as he stops in front of you, trying his best to refrain from spilling more tears but it’s merely impossible. His biggest fear is coming into fruition, he’s losing you. He’s letting you go. He wanted to let you out of this mess before it was too far gone for you to come back to life. You gave him all of your best self and your endless empathy. 
“What are you saying, Lan?” you barely let out as a whisper, afraid of the answer. 
“I’m letting you go. I know I’m gonna sound like an asshole but I have to do this. All this shit is just gonna hurt you more. You can’t do this to yourself. It’s killing me to know I’m just bringing you down with me.” he practically pleads. 
“I stay because I want to, not because I feel forced to or like I have to. I do it because I love you.” your voice cracks with the last bit. 
“I’m sorry for all this. I care about you a lot and I hope everything goes well. I hope you get everything you could ever want. I’m sorry for all the mess.”
“Don’t be sorry. You are worth all of the shit. But can you please let me stay?” you beg through tears.
His lips are quivering, tear stains paint his face as he breaks himself in two. Cause truthfully, you will always hold a part of him. Through all the obstacles and shit, you stuck by him. 
“Goodbye, y/n.” is all he says before he turns his back on you, walking out the door. 
He didn’t even wait for your response, leaving as soon as he could because he knew if he stayed any longer, he wouldn’t have followed through with the breakup. 
You weren’t sure how long you stood there, in the middle of your living room. You had to watch the person you thought you would marry, walk out the door. You thought he was your forever. You shared your dreams with each other, planned out the house you two would grow old in. The house where you would have rocking chairs on the front porch where the two of you would watch the neighborhood kids run by, yelling at them to stay off the lawn. What dreams those were, dreams that would remain just that, dreams. 
For a while after the breakup, all you did was lie in bed either sleeping the days away or doom scrolling on social media. It got so bad that your roommate/best friend had to physically drag you out of bed after a week of letting you rot in it.
The first day of what your best friend liked to call “post breakup, glow up”, you guys decided to just have a self care day where you took it easy and ordered in food and did face masks while coloring in some books. 
It was fun and a nice distraction until your phone dinged. The look on your face scared your best friend so she looked over your shoulder to see who it was. Lando’s name was displayed along with a message, “Hey, how you been?”. 
Was this how exes interacted after a breakup? Typically after the breakups you’ve experienced, there was no contact. What’s Lando up to? You knew he didn’t keep in contact with any of his exes after their break ups, so why was he texting you? 
When you snap back to reality, your friend is giving you a concerned look, wanting to know what was going through your head so she could help in the best way possible. 
“Should I text him back?” You asked.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, babe. He still hurt you towards the end of the relationship, although not intentionally, but it still fucked you up a bit. I don’t want you to lose the progress you’ve made.”
“Yeah, I understand. I won’t text him back then.” You tell her as you turn off your phone and throw it to the side, picking up your marker and starting coloring again. 
You lied. You ended up texting him back later that night once you were back in bed, ready to end the night with what hopefully would be a decent sleep. 
You and Lando exchanged a few texts, mainly just catching up and seeing how the other was. You weren’t gonna lie, it felt nice to talk to him again. But what was this gonna lead to? Hopefully getting back together, but what are the odds? 
The occasional text conversations took place over the course of a few weeks. Lando knew he shouldn’t have been texting you, but he couldn’t help himself. The weeks following the break up, he went back and forth on whether he regretted it or not. He wondered if it was the best thing to do. 
Every day, he saw you in everything he saw or did. When he goes to get coffee, he swears he can still hear you laughing at the mustache of foam that would appear on his face after his first sip of coffee. 
When he’s outside in the park for a run, he’s reminded of you when he sees the rabbits hiding in the bushes. You always used to squeal out of joy and cuteness from the rabbits, even if you’d already seen them about 20 times prior. 
Every song, every film, every color reminded him of you. He thought about you every single day, wondering what you were doing and how you were. He even went as far as stalking your Spotify profile. He knew you made playlists for everything and he would watch your listening activity to see what mood you were in. 
He wasn’t surprised when he saw you listening to Taylor Swift and Gracie Abrams for hours on end. Those two were your go to sad girls. But he was surprised when none of the songs were about how shit the guy was. All the songs you were listening to were about regretting breakups and just missing someone. 
The night he texted you for the first time since the breakup, he had been gaming with Max and a few of his other friends, trying to take his mind off things. 
He didn't know what he texted you, he just did. He didn’t even have a plan for what he wanted to say. It turned out all right in the end though. You guys had a peaceful conversation and shared a laugh or two, for which he was grateful. 
Maybe you guys could remain friends? 
-=+=-
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y/n_l/n i’m on my knees at the altar, baby
Asking God to wash you from my soul
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User4 he’s a waste of running mascara, you’re on to greater things 
alexandrasaintmeux the most beautiful girl in the world
User97 ummm, what’s lando doing in the likes?! Didn’t they break up…
User23 she was a fool for thinking she could be enough for him
User10 lando leave the poor girl alone, you’ve done enough damage 
-=+=-
Everytime he texted you, you came back. He’d ask to try again and you’d say yes. You’d come back to his place and spend nights there, only for him to break things off again. He keeps saying he can fix it and do better. But then he sends you on your own again. He keeps telling you how much he loves you, only to tell you he’s not good enough for you and that you should break up, again. 
For two months, the two of you went back and forth. You would break up one week then get back together the next. It felt like a game that you kept losing and you were tired of it. 
It felt like you were always taking one step forward and two steps back. Now you know, none of this is fair to you. You keep trying to give him your all, trying to be there for him when he needs it but he still doesn’t change. 
You know you’re not falling out of love for him. But you think you have to fully let him go now. Do what he did to you to protect you, but actually block him out after. Instead of stringing him along like he did to you. 
It’s a week before the Belgium GP so it’s now or never. 
You asked Lando to meet you in your shared hotel room as the Hungarian GP just ended earlier. He’d gotten P2 which is amazing. But he still wasn’t entirely happy with his performance as he thinks he could’ve done better. The team thinks he should’ve gotten P1 and that it would’ve helped gain more points for the championship. 
You would’ve preferred to pick a better time to do this, but there is no other time, at least anytime soon. But you don’t want to be stuck here forever, in this loop of false hope. 
When Lando gets back to your shared room, he finds you sitting on the edge of the bed, picking at the skin on your fingers. 
“Hey, stop doing that. It’s not good for you.” He gives you a smile as he takes off his shoes and meets you in the bed. As he sits next to you, he lands a kiss on the top of your head and then a kiss on your cheek before finally connecting your lips with his in a sweet, warm kiss. 
“You said you wanted to talk to me about something? What’s up? Everything alright?” He asks, a bit of concern laces his words. 
You take a deep breath and sit up straight, trying to gain the courage to follow through with your plan.
“I can’t do this anymore.” You say. Lando’s heart drops at your words. 
“What’d you mean?” He stutters a bit.
It takes everything in you to look him in the eye as you say “I’m breaking up with you, for good.”
“Oh.” Is all that comes out of his mouth. He’s turned his body forward, staring blankly at the wall as he processes this.
“I’m sorry, Lando. But it’s not fair to either of us. We keep stringing each other along. Hoping for something that’ll never happen. I’m tired. It feels like I’m the only one fighting for us.” 
Lando suddenly sucks in a breath of air, furrowing his eyebrows and turning his body to you before telling you “no”
“No? Lando, what do you mean no?”
“No, we’re not breaking up again.”
“You can’t just say no. I’m- I’m making this decision for the both of us. For our best interest, we have to break up.”
“No, I’m not having it. I’m not doing it. It’s you and me til the end.”
“Lando, please can we ju-“
“Nope.”
You sit there dumbfounded at what’s happening. Is he refusing a breakup like it’s a piece of fish? 
You sit there and stare at him for a hot minute before crossing your arms and asking “why?”
“Cause”, is all he says before he stands up and goes to take a shower. 
Ain’t no way. 
You’re so confused and amazed at what just happened. He really just denied a breakup. 
As Lando took his shower, you took this time to process what happened and how to go about this conversation again once he comes back. 
After about 15 minutes, Lando leaves the bathroom in fresh clothes and stands in front of you, “what’d you want for dinner?” 
“Did you disregard my breakup speech?” You stand and ask.
“Yes. Now, where’s the room service menu?” He asks as he pads around the room, genuinely looking for the room service menu. 
You bring your hands to your face and roughly rub your eyes to try and approach this correctly. 
“Lando, stop thinking about the menu for 5 seconds and look at me.”
He’s stopped dead in his tracks and looks at you innocently. 
This guy. 
His bottom lip begins to quiver and his eyes become glossed with tears. 
With a bit of rasp in his voice he tells you “We’re not breaking up. I can’t lose you again, I won’t do it. You’re the best thing I’ve ever had and pushing you away was awful. I missed your laugh, I missed your jokes, I missed your loose hairs all around the flat, I missed your snoring when I tried to sleep, I missed you. Please don’t go again.” 
Tears are streaming down his face as he begs you to stay. 
“Lando, we can’t keep doing the same shit over and over again. We break up one week then get back together the next. You tell me you’ll do better and you’ll fix things but nothing changes. You’re still under immense stress and letting people walk all over you. I don’t know how we can survive this anymore if you don’t try to change that.” 
You start to wonder if breaking up really is the best solution. You would still be sad about losing him and you would still constantly worry about him. He would still be stuck in this toxic place where everyone puts all their expectations on him. Everyone would still harass him and analyze his every move. What would breaking up really fix? 
“Please. I’m standing here trying to be honest. We’re a thousand miles away from the day that we started, and I’m still in love with you. I just wanna forget everything that’s come and gone cause I hate not being with you. The stars don’t shine as bright when you’re not here.”
Slowly, you walk up to him, reaching for the sides of his face and using your thumbs to wipe away some of his tears. He instinctively moves his hands to your hips, holding you as tight as he can, as if you’re water in his hands. You look him in the eyes and realize you love him too much to let him go. You two love each other too much to leave it like this. 
“Hey,” you say softly, “why don’t we do this? The Belgian GP is next week, right? You’ll go do that and I’ll go home for a bit. After the Belgian GP, I’ll meet you in Glastonbury, yeah? We’ll spend your break there and we’ll try and sort out whatever’s going on up here?” You ask as you gently tap the side of his head. 
All he can do is smile, grateful for you and your patience with his shit. He nods his head yes before pulling you closer and holding you tight, burying his face into your neck. 
With a deep breath, you feel Lando relax in your arms. 
“Thank you.” He whispers in your neck. He can’t believe he’s able to keep someone as special as you in his life, even with the war in his head. 
“We’ll be alright. We’re okay”, you don’t say anything else, just holding him closer, knowing it’s enough for him right now. Maybe you two could try to go back where you started. 
Lando booked a flight from Belgium to go back to his hometown almost immediately after the race. He just couldn’t bear being away from you for so long, especially after all the shit you guys have been through, especially after all the shit he put you through. 
You decided that since he’ll be landing quite late, the two of you would spend the night watching movies and eating some home cooked food. The beginning of the healing journey could start tomorrow. 
When he landed at the airport, he was greeted by you with a massive sign that said “Lando Norris - STD clinic emergency shuttle”. 
The amount of laughs that the sign got was a joy to you. Especially the laugh Lando had let out upon reading the sign. He knew you were gonna pull some shit like this, although he was surprised you didn’t wear scrubs to add to the bit. 
With a big warm hug, Lando finally felt like he could start to relax and let go, at least until the next race. 
The two of you made your way to your car, then headed back to a secluded airbnb that you had rented for the next few weeks. Although the two of you were more than welcome to stay with Lando’s family, the pair of you thought it would be best if Lando had a place with some real peace and quiet to be able to sort through his mind. 
During the drive to the airbnb, you put on a playlist that you had made for drives with Lando at the beginning of your relationship. It had been a while since you’d played it, so it was a pleasant surprise for him when he realized what playlist was playing after a few songs. 
“I forgot about this playlist. Missed it." He gives a soft smile. The one he used to have before all the chaos had been inflicted. You can tell this little break will definitely bring back at least a small piece of your Lando. 
“I did too. Found it the other day when I was clearing my playlists. I added a few more songs as well. I know we usually pick the songs for this playlist together but I thought it’d be nice. Hope you don’t mind.” you tell him, wondering if maybe he’d be upset that you messed with the playlist without him. 
“Nah. I like it. Like a bit of a surprise for me.” he says as he shrugs his shoulders. You smile as you look at him for a moment. Your boy is coming back to you, slowly but surely. 
“Oh, don’t speed here. There’s always this one fucking guy sitting in a corner, ready to give anyone and everyone a ticket.” he tells you as you turn onto a certain street. 
“You know every road in this county, don't you?” you tease, watching as he gets a bit shy. 
“Yeah, let’s just say he may or may not love to see me coming. He used to catch me speeding all the time and he gave me too many fucking tickets.” 
You just sit there and laugh at him. Of course the Formula 1 driver always gets caught speeding. 
Once you pull into the driveway for the airbnb, Lando is smiling, already getting out of the car and closing his eyes, breathing in the fresh air and taking it all in. He’s excited and grateful for this break from the races. As much as he does enjoy the actual racing, all the other factors were pushing him to his breaking point. The sun was collapsing but he didn’t realize until everything came crashing down all at once. 
He’s pulled out of his thoughts when you close the car door. He starts moving to the trunk of the car to pull out his luggage. You wait by the front of the car, watching him roll his way to you and taking your hand in his as he leads you to the door of the house. 
The second you unlocked the door and opened it, Lando ran in like a kid and immediately dropped all his belongings before flopping onto the couch. 
Yup, that’s my man. 
“You like it? Out of all the rentals available, I thought this one was the best. It’s a bit far from everything and there’s a hiking trail not far.” you tell him, walking to the kitchen to prepare dinner. 
Lando is rolling on the couch as if he were a dog trying to get into a comfortable position. His head pops over the back of the couch to look at you, “Yeah, seems quite cozy. Thanks for this, darling. I know I don’t really deserve you but I’m really grateful that you’ve given me so many chances.”
“Don’t thank me, love. I love you and I want you to be okay,” his cheeks blush at your words. It’s been a while since you’ve called him ‘love’, “Put something on the tv and lie down for a bit while I prepare dinner, yeah?” 
“You sure I can’t help you? I can peel a potato or something… okay maybe nothing as advanced as peeling a potato but I can boil noodles or something.” he chuckles a bit. 
“Gorgeous, last time you tried to boil noodles, you burnt the water. I still don’t know how you managed that.” you couldn’t contain your laugh at the memory. It was one of your first dates with Lan and he’d wanted to make you a home cooked meal. Take out ended up being delivered. 
“Yeah, alright. We’re watching Hannah Montana.” he said as he flopped his back against the couch. 
When dinner was cooked, you and Lando plated the food before moving to sit on the floor in the living area, using the coffee table to eat off. 
The two of you continued watching Hannah Montana until the episode where Blue Jeans became ill. Lan immediately changed the show to play the movie rather than the tv series.
“Lan, you do know Blue Jeans recovers at the end of the episode, right?” 
“Yeah but he still has to go through the traumatic experience of being bitten by that snake and I just can’t. We’re gonna watch the Hannah Montana movie now and slow dance to ‘Crazier', cry to ‘Butterfly Fly Away’, and dance to ‘You Can Always Find Your Way Back Home’.” he tells you sternly. He's made up his mind and nothings gonna change that. So that’s just what you do. 
When Taylor Swift appears on the screen and starts singing ‘Crazier’, Lando jumps up off the floor and leans his body towards you, holding his hand out for you to take. Once you place your hand in his, he pulls you swiftly off the floor, pulling your body close to his. You wrap your arms around his neck while his hands are secured on your waist. The two of you swing your bodies slowly and effortlessly to the melody that’s playing in the background. 
When the lyric “you lift my feet off the ground.” Lando does exactly that. He’s gripped your waist and lifted you in the air, bringing a squeal out of you as you were not expecting that. He keeps you above him as you let out a fit of giggles. Once your feet land back on the ground, you fall into Lando, trying to catch your breath. You listen to his heartbeat and hold him tight. He really is your favorite person. 
In true Lando fashion, he knows all the words to this song. As he should since he decided it was one of your songs a while ago. You watch as he sings the words to you, and you realize just how truly in love you are with the person in front of you. You would wait forever for him. He’s the closest to heaven you’ll ever be. 
Once the song ends, the two of you sit back down and continue watching the movie. You were cuddled up to Lando, wrapping yourself around his arm as he rested his head on yours, occasionally leaving soft kisses. 
The beginning chords of ‘Butterfly Fly Away’ play and Lando is already in tears. He’s already buried his head into your shoulder as he sobs about how emotional the song is. “He was always there for her. He tucked her in and turned out the light. He had to do it all alone!” 
All you could do to comfort him was hold him close to you and rub his back. You hummed along to the song, Lando loved it when you did that. You never sang in front of him, but when you did, it was like God's greatest gift to him.  
The end of the movie was near as the opening chords of ‘You’ll Always Find Your Way Back Home’. The two of you were already on your feet, ready to dance and sing along. Lando had even pushed some of the furniture out so that there was more room for dancing. 
With some crazy moves and a whole lot of jumping around, you and your love had the time of your lives. 
Lando is pointing at you when he sings the lines “‘Cause, when I’m feeling down, and I’m all alone, whoa, oh. I’ve always got a place where I can go.” singing completely off key but who cares, he’s having fun, and so are you. 
When the song comes to an end, you’re in Lando’s arms, trying to catch your breath again. But it feels impossible when everytime you look at him, he takes your breath away. The most beautiful man ever is yours? Crazy, really. 
You stay in his arms for a moment, looking into those eyes that looked like sunlight was filtering through leaves. 
“Home.” he breaks the silence, smiling down at you wholeheartedly. He cocks his head to the side before continuing, “You’re my home.” 
It took everything in you not to break down into a puddle of tears at that moment. 
Instead, you bring your lips to his, connecting them in a sweet, soft exchange. 
After putting the furniture back in place and cleaning the dishes from dinner, you lead Lando to the room you’ll be sharing during this little vacation. 
After a quick shower, Lando meets you on the bed, almost collapsing onto it due to the exhaustion he’s been in. 
There’s no need to exchange any words at this moment. You just pull Lando into you, watching as he rests his head on your chest and wraps his arm around your waist. You scratch the back of his neck, messing with his curls a bit as your other hand draws patterns on his bare back. 
After a minute, you feel Lan relax into you, watching as his breathing becomes shallow and steady. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep and you're thankful. He truly does need sleep, especially for the talk you two will have in the morning. 
You follow suit with Lando and fall asleep soon after him. It was the best sleep you’d had in ages. 
The sun shines through the thin, cotton curtains that cover the windows. Lando’s chest is warm against your back, his arm wrapped around your torso, keeping you close to him. The steady breathing lets you know he’s still sound asleep. You check the time, reading 7:24 am. It’s still a bit early so you decide to get some breakfast prepared for when Lando wakes up. 
You slowly and quietly move out of his arms, careful not to wake him as you know he won’t stay in bed if he knows you aren’t next to him. Once you’re out of bed, you brush your teeth and 
make your way to the kitchen. 
Breakfast is kept simple, just some overnight oats with some fruit and honey. After a few minutes of washing and cutting some fruit, you watch as Lando emerges from the bedroom, sleep lacing his features. 
“I didn’t hear you leave the bed.” he frowns at you. 
“Sorry, darling. I knew you were tired and I didn’t want to wake you so soon. But your timing is perfect! I've just finished preparing breakfast.” you smile gleefully, presenting him with a beautiful bowl of fruits and oats. 
The smile on his face is enough to brighten the whole room. “Thanks, baby. Looks amazing, as always.”, he walks around the kitchen counter to kiss you. 
Once he’s sat down and begun eating, you tell him your plan for the day, or his plan. 
“I was thinking we could go on that hiking trail I told you about. Getting some fresh air and some sun could be good for you. We could also talk a bit? About everything?”
You can tell he’s a bit uncomfortable from the way he stiffens when you mention wanting to talk. He was never really one for talking about himself and the things he’s struggling with. He much prefers listening but he knows he has to let you in a bit. 
Without looking up at you, he responds, “Yeah. Sounds good.” continuing to stuff his face with his oats. 
Once you two had finished breakfast, you put on your shoes and made your way to the hiking trail. 
During the beginning of your walk, you decided it would be best to get Lando to feel comfortable before jumping into the whole discussion of him and his mental health. So you begin by asking, “So, Tarkov, how have you been doing in it?”
He looks at you with genuine surprise, wondering why the fuck you’re asking about Tarkov when he knows it’s not your type of game. But, he answers anyway, “Erm, it’s turned into more shit and giggles if anything. A lot of messing with Max and them. Oh, the other day I stabbed Max’s character in the leg cause he stabbed my foot. And then I stabbed him again but his game was glitching so he couldn’t heal. He was actively dying and couldn’t stop it so I shot his guy. Let’s just say he wasn’t exactly joyful about that. But in my defense, he would’ve died anyway. It was a mercy kill.” he laughs to himself. 
After almost 45 minutes of walking, you guys stumbled upon a nice lake that was surrounded by trees. There was a shore with some large boulders so you led Lando there for a bit of a break from walking. 
You two sat there for a moment before you broke the silence to try and talk to him. 
“You know I love you right?” you ask him, watching him look down at his hands and start to fiddle them. 
“Yeah.” he responds quietly. 
“I want you to be okay, Lan. I can see you being torn apart by everyone and everything. I don’t want to watch you fall because you don’t deserve that.” “It’s hard, being me. I know I should be happy for everything that I have. I mean, I have money, a house, so many fucking cars that I don’t need, a loving family, and the most amazing and beautiful girlfriend. But, it feels like I’m drowning in everything with racing.” - he confesses, his tone is low, matching the way his reality makes him feel so small.
You scooch closer to him, taking his hand in yours, “I know it’s been hard. And you have the right to feel the way you do. You’re the person who gets the most shit right now with the media. They’re all twisting shit to fit their narrative. But you need to keep pushing back, don’t let them walk over you anymore.” “My mind is complicated. But when you’re here, next to me, it quiets a bit. I know that when I’m with you, everything is easy, like a million things can be thrown at me, but at the end of the day, if you’re here, I’ll be okay. I know I sort of broke you, someone I love so much. It’s all me, in my head. I burned us down and I’m sorry I did that to you. I don’t wanna lose you.” “You’ll never lose me, Lan. I’ll keep your hand in mine, until we’re food for the worms to eat, til our fingers decompose. This love of ours isn’t temporary. So I’m not gonna give up on us, on you.” - your hand touches the side of his face, bringing him to meet your eyes before you continue, “I’m still yours, even when you lose your mind and try breaking up with me a million times. None of this is your fault. You’re all I want.”
Tears begin to stream down his face as he leans his forehead against yours, “I just want you to know who I am, outside of the racing and the drama. I don’t want them to see me, just you, cause you’re the only one who understands me.”
You lift his chin so he can look in your eyes again as you say, “I know who you are. You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine, and I’m never letting you go again.”
-=+=-
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landonorris baby, you showed me what living is for and i dont wanna hide anymore
Thank you for everything, my love. I wouldn’t be where I am without you 🧡
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User23 now wait a min ✋ how many chapters did i miss?
User54 i told y’all they were fine! No way a couple as in love as them would ever break up
User75 alexa, play ‘that should be me’ by justin bieber 🫠 User13 omg, and the taylor lyrics 😭 she loves taylor swift and he dedicated it to her 😭😭😭😭😭
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lost-in-lamentation · 4 months ago
Text
failures, together.
a/n: (・・;)
content: not long after arriving at the devildom, you find yourself needing some affirmation from the representative of greed.
warnings: reader does kind of have a mental breakdown, but nothing intense.
mammon × gen!reader. hurt/comfort.
for @lulusupreme my beloved oomf (sorry i'm late)
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“i just don't know what to do.”
“look, i don’t have any advice either. i'm only babysitting you cause lucifer threw you at me.” mammon clicked his tongue softly, turning away from your figure standing in the doorway. “if it weren't for him keeping goldie in jail, i would have tossed you outside already.”
“aren't you helpful.” with gritted teeth, you slammed the door and stormed further into his room, forcefully planting yourself on the other end of the couch.
mammon jerked at the action, whipping back around to face you. “oi, the hell you think you're doing?!”
grumbling, you crossed your arms and stared straight ahead of you at empty space. “i don't know, mammon. waiting to wake up from this nightmare, maybe?”
“we already told ya, human. this ain’t no dream or nightmare.”
“and i already told you, i have a name.”
“yeah, yeah, whatever. my only job is to make sure you're not in immediate danger so just… don't go outside, ‘kay? i don't wanna have to watch you all the time.”
you felt your anger starting to bubble over, your knuckles white as you balled your hands into fists. “it's not fair.”
mammon only snorted at your statement. “damn right it's not fair. how come i had to get stuck with you? why not asmo-”
“no- what's not fair, is that i had to be dragged down here! for some stupid program? asking me what i think i'm doing, well what about you? what are you doing bringing a human like me down here?!” your chest began heaving with the effort to breathe and yell, the heat behind your fury turning white as you snapped at the demon.
the second born barely gave you a glance, his voice raising to match yours. “hell if i know! i didn't want some useless ragdoll with me here anyways!”
the words echoed in your brain, causing the last string of composure to snap. “useless… ragdoll…”
mammon finally turned his head to look at you, ready to let loose another string of harsh insults, only to stop when he saw the expression on your face. “uh… human? what's going on with you?”
you lifted your hands shakily, palms up as they stopped just before they could cup your own face. “that’s all i am, isn’t it? useless?”
“o-oi, you’re freaking me out here-”
“you agree, don’t you?!” with shallow breaths, you snapped at him, feeling your desperation spill out in the form of tears. “so then why did they bring me here…?” you curled into yourself slowly, hands wrapping at the base of your neck and gathering fistfuls of your shirt. “i’m not worth anything- i won’t be able to do anything,” you whispered out. “mammon, i’ve barely done anything yet and i’m already a failure.”
silence washed over you like an unforgiving wave. amidst your muted sniffles, you couldn’t make out any movements from the demon on the other side of the couch. after a few minutes had passed, you debated about getting up, hoping to run away to your room with no mention of this incident ever again. instead, when you opted to stand up, there was a much gentler voice than you imagined that broke through the quiet.
“i doubt it,” mammon whispered back.
ever so slightly, you shifted your gaze to the side to look at him. “... huh?”
mammon, now put on the spot, ran a hand through his hair awkwardly. “trust me. in lucifer’s eyes, there’s no bigger failure than me. most of the time, at least.”
“really?” feeling a little braver, you lifted your head back up. you were just in time to see the tips of his ears dusted with embarrassment.
“ya don’t have to sound so happy about that!” mammon spared you a gaze that only lasted a second, perhaps too aware of the way you looked at him the way he wished his brothers did once in a while. “if there’s one thing about those guys, it’s that they know what they’re doing. and if they say you can do it, then you can. probably.”
as the last of your tears slipped away, you returned mammon’s words with a shaky nod. “you don’t think i’ll fail?”
scoffing, mammon crossed his arms and returned to his usual demeanor. “i didn’t say that.”
“oh.”
“but,” he continued a heartbeat later. “if lucifer calls ya a failure for no reason… you can always come and find me.” as soon as the words left his mouth, mammon jumped up to his feet, crossing the room in a few quick strides.
“so that we can be failures together?” you asked, a smile breaking into your expression.
“hey, even if we’re both failures, i’m still more fun than that stuck-up brother of mine.” the demon grabbed his leather jacket from his coat rack, shrugging it on before fishing around in the pockets for a set of keys. “let’s get going; i’m still babysitting you after all.”
you cleaned your face with your sleeves, making sure your eyes were dry before hopping up to follow mammon. “where are we going?”
“you’ve been here almost two weeks and ya still haven’t seen the whole of the devildom." mammon said, half laughing at the absurdity of it all. "can’t have you getting lost before you can do anything else.”
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a/n: season 23 of my life begins today! and episode one is with mammon apparently
comments and reblogs are really appreciated (´ω`) ♡
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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 7 months ago
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Hermitcraft / Life Series Fic Recs
Because I love so many of them...
I'll split the fics into completed and updating fics, and try to only recommend currently updating fics (i.e., not abandoned). I'm going to write a little about why I like each fic and what the general vibes are - so this is also a kind of review I guess?
I've tried to @ the authors if they have a public tumblr. Sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged, I can remove any @ if you ask (or if I have embarrassingly tagged the wrong person). Anyway, enjoy, and I appreciate reblogs because I want as many people to see these fics as possible!!
This ended up being incredibly long so I'm putting a divider here. Click to keep reading!!! Also, fair warning: shipping ahead! Some fics will have mild sexual content, please read the tags if you are unsure <3
Updating Fics
I have already recommended Help Me To Breathe, lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart), and There Are Monsters Nearby in this post, so I won't explain why I like them a second time, but definitely check them out!!
Death's A Good Gig by @mawofthemagnetar is probably going to be finished by the time this post gets to you, reader, but I'm putting it here anyway. It's short and sweet, one of my favourite representations of Zedaph (or, Zedeath) I've read, and just a joy to experience. If you like grim reapers and discussions of unions, this one is for you. Also I need more Zedaph in my life.
Look, I'm Sorry, Please Stop Scaring Everyone by @cat-in-the-desert reminds me a lot of a particular TV drama I liked when I was younger, which followed a similar premise. This fic follows Mumbo (vampire) and Grian (ghost) as they get up to various housemate shenanigans and meet their local magic-expert and salesman Scar. This fic is fun, but still includes a nice amount of Feelings and hinted-at Angst which I really love. It's lighthearted, but never boring.
It Hurts To Hope by Inquillitory is my favourite of the "Grian crash lands into Hermitcraft and causes problems for everyone" genre. Seeing how many fics there are with that premise, I think that says a lot. It handles Grian's weird Watcher stuff really well. Honestly, I just want to know what happens next!
killing the boy in the tv by @raspberrystruck is like a sickfic on steroids. If you want Grian with so much past trauma he forgets how to function in society, this is basically the fic for you. I really love how hybrid traits affect the characters' interactions in this fic, and how everyone is kind of messed up because of the imbalance Grian brings. It is wonderfully descriptive in all the right places!
Love Me Like I'm Dead by @daniofcrows is such a gem. You know how hard it is to find good Xisuma whump? It's impossible. I absolutely love how Xisuma and Evil X are characterised in this, and I am obsessed with the unique take on hanahaki disease which I have never seen handled in this way before. The balance between flashbacks and present day is maintained wonderfully and I cannot wait to continue reading this one. Wow.
Oh, you wanted me to do a verse? by @bugbbear is... kind of indescribable. It's horror. It's comedy. It's the apocalypse. It's boatem. Scar eats someone. One of the most interesting and unique apocalypse stories I have read. Slowly updating but worth the wait, in my opinion. This one NEEDS more attention.
So Much For Stardust by @a-plethora-of-peters is basically one of my all-time favourites. Which is a damn good achievement seeing as I don't usually read ZITS fics. Like, ever. In this fic, Skizz is a human abducted and hurt badly by aliens, now recovering in the care of good aliens who don't know how 'sentient' he is. Every update of this one makes me smile, it is wonderful. I love how the characters are written and how the different perspectives are shown. It is just great.
Solar Waltz by @raspberrystruck and aroundtheclock is a brilliant and very very sad regression fic. I love fluffy regression fics as much as the next guy, but this one just... hits different. The hurt/comfort levels are off the charts. Grian is so damn cute the whole time, while also being harrowingly complicated and sad. I am so ready for whatever comes next.
Tango's Castle of Cards by @evilrat-sabre is the one where Tango is a BUG. He's just a little guy (horror). This one is so beautifully written, with poetry-type interludes and perspective changes that really make everything feel so much more impactful. Finding out your buddy is a murder bug isn't the easiest thing in the world. I love this so much.
Traveling Thieves {Dark Fantasy AU} (series) by @amethystfairy1 is basically one of the series of all time. I know I keep saying that but it really really is. I love a good fantasy au, and I love an au with hybrids even more. In this world, hybrids are treated like slaves, but it isn't all doom and gloom for the main characters of each installment. There is a lot of hurt/comfort and the different stories feed into each other in really interesting ways. I try to read as much as I can, though I've missed a few because my emails are buggy. Definitely worth reading these fics, especially since now they're all starting to come together!
Completed Fics
Solving Counting Sheep by @theminecraftbee might have rearranged my brain chemistry a little. Another strong contender for 'fics that inspire me to kill Grian', this time with a more concrete notion of "replacement". Three is my favourite fucked up living weapon. It's so rare to find Evo fics in this day and age, too. This fic had me immediately clicking on every update as soon as I got the emails.
Rescue Fire by @imaginethat0327 is one of the most unique takes on a fictionalised life series game that I have ever read. The whole concept is explained in a realistic and easy-to-follow way, as we learn what's happening with the characters. There are several brilliant storylines happening in this one, but my particular favourites are Jimmy & Tango, Joel, and of course Scar & Grian. This fic is full of whump and, well, read the tags, it isn't always pleasant, but those are my favourite things ever. Definitely worth checking out this fic and its currently updating sequel.
don't you know about me? by takenbadgering is a wonderful comedy of errors with just the right amount of angst for a realistic setting type of fic. If you enjoy polyamory miscommunications, rave aesthetics, kandi, school teacher dynamics, and a lovely blend between grumbo, cubscar, and mumscar, this is the one.
Eventually the Birds Must Land by @milo-hypno follows a polyam ship I would have never thought of, and I cannot believe how much I loved it. This married-as-friends fic premise is wonderful, and captures the main trio (Grian, Mumbo, Impulse)'s personalities so well, while balancing them with the incredibly terrifying descriptions of the Watchers and their power. There's a lot of angst here, but it is ultimately hurt/comfort to the maximum degree. I loved reading it as it updated. Yay for gay marriage!
From The Archives (series) by @sixteenth-days was the absolute inspiration for my own Comms AU, and I will never forget its influence on me. As someone basically unfamiliar with TMA, I thought this series might be hard to follow, but it was not! I read all 57 parts in the span of two days, and I think it altered my brain chemistry. Please read it, even if (especially if) you don't know anything about TMA. The Cleo and Grian storyline lives in my head rent free. I mean it. This is horror at its finest. Also there's an audio series of this fic being released rn, which is very cool.
SUPERCRITICAL by @masque-of-plague hits different. It is such a wonderful take on the superhero/HotGuy trope, and it gets so super dark at some points! This one really takes swings at it's fictional government, which of course I love, while at the same time building this brilliantly emotional relationship between Scar and Grian. I do enjoy a bit of enemies to lovers, but the actual plot mixed into the story makes this one extra special. It is thrilling, with action that I don't get to see too often! Great work.
I am weary with contending! is one of the mumscarian fics of all time. From 'this house has people in it'-type horror, to magic gone wrong, to childhood trauma, to attempted assassination, to gender fuckery, this fic has it all. Usually I don't go for convex siblings, but this one is good enough to get a pass from me. Amazingly detailed worldbuilding alongside a brilliantly creative story.
It Spreads by @foxxology may not count as a fic, actually. It's a comic. But it's posted on ao3 so it counts. I was obsessed with this one as it was updating, honestly. It rocked me to my core. The art is phenomenal. The writing is brilliant. I love sculk.
Luck of the sea by Sleepy_Duck is a lovely take on mermaid and human interactions, with Grian as a marine life conservator and Scar as a very neglected mer. This one takes us emotionally in all sorts of directions, and offers lots of hope for the future of the characters. I heavily enjoyed this fic - if you like mermaids and marine biology, check it out.
there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag is another mermaid fic but with a pretty different vibe. First of all, it follows what I would consider a rarepair Doc/Martyn. Second of all, reading this as it updated was a thrilling experience that nearly made me cry at certain points. I love how the relationship builds in this fic. It is honestly amazing. The whole idea of experimenting on a sentient sea creature, learning that he can communicate, then losing funding and having to save him from being dissected?!?! It's crazy. I love it.
Thus concludes my fic recommendations. I hope you enjoy at least some of these, and consider reblogging to spread these wonderful fics around <3
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sashaisready · 8 months ago
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This Must Be The Place: Chapter 7 - Make it up as we go along
Biker!Bucky x Femme Reader
Back at your beloved late grandmother's home to pack up her house, you have a run-in with the town's biker gang 'The Howling Commandos' and find yourself entangled with the metal armed President.
Series Masterlist
Warnings: Bit of assault towards Bucky (but not enough to hurt him), a just a note that this probably isn't the healthiest dynamic...
Ah surprise chapter drop! Hope you enjoy. I probably won't be able to post again until monday now. As always, I appreciate your lovely reblogs and comments. I'm so glad people are engaging with this series and I hope you continue to enjoy it!! I’m afraid I don’t have a taglist for this series, I don’t use them as I’ve had technical issues with them in the past. Sorry!
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(gif not reflective of how reader looks)
You knew he was right – you needed to clear the air, and fix whatever the hell was going on between you both (if anything). But you couldn’t resist being petty, lashing out after his poor treatment of you earlier. Granny always said be the bigger person…but she was a far better than woman than you.
“Sorry. Can’t. Not on the clock,” you shot back at him as you unlocked the car.
You opened the car door and his arm moved to your shoulder, holding you firmly to stop you from getting in. You held strong, not letting his touch melt you.
“Fine. I deserve that,” he said gruffly, “but I really do want to talk to you. Please”.
The softness in his voice caught you off guard and you found you were annoyed by the sudden wobble of weakness you felt. No! STRENGTH!
You sighed heavily. “Alright. Step into my office,” you gestured to the car.
You slipped into the driver’s seat as he dropped his hold from your arm, then he followed suit by getting into the passenger seat alongside you. The Mustang’s passenger seat looked almost comically small with his big bulk spread across it.
He turned to look at you, face perfectly illuminated by the parking lot lamps. It wasn’t fair that anyone could possibly look so hot in fluorescent lighting.
“This is a nice car,” he said admiringly as he looked around the interior.
“I know” you replied curtly. “She’s my girl”.
“What’s her name?”
“Sally”.
He blinked at you.
“Mustang…Sally? Really?”
You folded your arms defiantly. “Is that a problem?”
“No…no…it’s not…” but you could see in his face he was trying to hold back one of those stupid smirks.
“If you’ve come here to make fun of me you can get the hell out…”
“No! I haven’t. Christ. It’s just funny…that’s all. It’s…cute”.
“Shut up, James”.
“Ohhh…you found that out, huh?” he grinned wickedly. “Well joke’s on you, cos I like you saying it…”
You took a second to scowl and him, then stared ahead out of the windshield with your arms crossed, hoping you looked more mysterious stranger than you did tantruming toddler. The two of you sat uncomfortably in the resulting silence.
“I’ve been an ass,” he told you, his eyes intense.
“Yes, you fucking have” you growled back at him.
“I’m sorry…really-”
“Look…Bucky,” you interrupted him aggressively. “I get it, we kissed. It didn’t mean anything to you. Fine. Whatever. But you didn’t have to ignore me…you didn’t have to parade Amber around in front of me like-”
“Sugar…”
“No! I mean how hard would it have been to drop me a text? Or tell me you made a mistake? Literally anything…”
“Sug…can I speak-”
“I’m not some random girl in a bar, Bucky! You can’t just ignore me. We work together. You’re my boss. You can’t just lay one on me and act like I don’t exist and-”
“Sugar! I’m trying to explain myself here!!” he barked, but you seemed to be on a roll…the floodgates were open.
“And another thing! Why are you getting aggressive about me meeting guys?? I can date who I like! You don’t get to be angry, especially when-MMPH!”
Bucky had clamped his large metal hand over your mouth, quite literally silencing you. Your eyes widened in shock; his tactic must’ve worked because you were briefly stunned into submission.
“I’m sorry…that was rash of me, but I literally can’t get a word in edgewise…” he told you gently, his voice quiet as if trying to talk down a spooked horse. “If you’d just let me-”
You yelped and shrieked as you wrenched his hand from your mouth in disbelief.
“What the FUCK was that?” you squawked as you struck him on the shoulder. Not hard enough to hurt, if you even could hurt him, but hard enough for him to curse and utter your name in incredulity.
Suddenly you were climbing over the seat and swatting at him, your anger boiling over. The inevitable purge after holding everything in all night. You knew it must’ve looked funny as he was so much larger than you, but your anger outweighed any self-consciousness.
“What. The. Fuck” you cried out, punctuating each word with a thwack to Bucky’s torso as he swore and tried to shuffle back, but the lack of space in the car meant he had nowhere to go. He just bumped into the passenger window as he exclaimed at you.
He quickly became tired of your attempted assault and wrapped his arms around yours, trapping them at your sides and effortlessly pulled you over the seats. “Alright,” he said tiredly. “Enough of that!”
Suddenly you were incapacitated in his hold, essentially straddling his lap as you voiced your outrage and tried to wriggle out of his hold.
“Bucky! What the-”
“You wouldn’t stop hitting me and shouting in my face! Jesus! Do you have any idea what a menace you are?”
The two of you squabbled for a little longer, faces inches apart.
“If you would just listen…”
“You can’t just DO stuff like that!”
“Why do you have to fight me on every, single, thing?”
“Why can’t you just be upfront and direct with me for once?”
A sudden silence enveloped you both as if someone had flicked an off switch, the bickering now replaced with a shared penetrating stare between you the two of you. Almost nose to nose. It was as if you both realised your close proximity in the same moment.
You weren’t sure who went in first. But it didn’t matter. He freed your hands and they flew up into his hair as he kissed you roughly, and you kissed him back just as hard. It was heated, passionate but there was anger in there too. Pent up desire and rage, a deadly combination. You nipped roughly at his bottom lip with your teeth, and he hissed and retaliated by forcefully pulling you closer into him as the kisses became deeper and sloppier and your tongue was no longer yours but a separate force you couldn’t control. His hands made their way up your back, then moved back down across your waist, then he pulled you forwards and lifted your ass up and he squeezed fistfuls of it as he moaned into your mouth. Part of you wanted to slap him and call him a pervert but you were simply too caught up to do so. It was wrong but so right. You wanted to shun him and punish him, but you also couldn’t stay away from him. Damn him.
“You’re so annoying…” he murmured softly as he dotted kisses across your jawline.
“So are you…” you retorted as you rocked your hips against his lap and stretched to get more comfortable in the cramped car.
“I should’ve implemented a skirts-only uniform policy,” he growled as his hands explored the back of your jean-clad thighs.
“Stop talking,” you managed breathily before silencing him with another kiss.
He moved you further onto his lap again and you allowed him to. He was firm in his hold but never too rough. You leaned across him to pull the lever to recline the seat but in your urgency and ungainliness you managed to hit the horn with your backside, sending a loud tone that made both of you jump.
It seemed to snap you out of your stupor as you flung yourself back against the driver’s seat, your hands recoiling away from him like your fingers had been burnt.
“No…we gotta stop this,” you panted out as you regained your composure and smoothed down your mussed hair. The silence lay thick and heavy.
He sat back against his own seat looking a little bewildered. “Yeah…sorry. You’re right. I just…lost myself a little there,” he cleared his throat.
“You hurt me,” you told him meekly and unable to meet his gaze. “I feel really embarrassed. After we kissed…you didn’t get in touch. Then tonight you almost seemed annoyed I was there when you came in. And you spent the whole time with Amber, apart from when you got pissed at me for talking to another guy”.
You chewed your lip, mortified by your own vulnerability. But you were glad you finally said it out loud. It was the most honest thing you’d ever said to him.
You could see him nodding in your periphery. “I’m sorry, Sug,” he said quietly.
He took a deep breath. “That kiss…it did mean something to me you know”.
You finally turned to look at him, surprised by his admission. “What?”
He looked back at you. He seemed…smaller, somehow. “Of course it did,” he continued. “We both felt it, didn’t we? This thing between us. I feel a little crazy around you. You’re like this…brilliant woman. Smart and funny…makes the meanest spicy ‘marg for hundreds of miles,” he grinned.
Even you couldn’t stifle a chuckle at that.
“You also get under my skin in a way nobody else does. You make me so mad. But I can’t help being near you. And when you got hurt that night…I was so angry. Angry at myself for not protecting you. Angry at you for mouthing off and not getting help. I guess…I guess it sorta pushed me to finally make a move…and then Sam interrupted and…” he sighed “Fuck. I don’t know. I suddenly felt bad. I shouldn’t be hitting on my staff. Especially injured staff…”
“Yeah…but I wanted it too, Bucky. You know I did…”
“I know…But…I dunno, I wouldn’t want you to ever think I was taking advantage”.
You swallowed, absorbing everything he’d just told you. Yeah…that was reasonable. He was your boss after all and there was always going to be a weird power dynamic there, but you still had more questions than answers.
“Bucky…” you started quietly. “If you wanted the kiss…Why did you disappear? I didn’t hear from you…and then tonight…”
He interrupted you with a noise of frustration, but seemingly towards himself rather than you.
“Alright…look. This…well, there’s no way of spinning any of this that makes me look good here, alright? But I want to be honest with you…I’m not going to lie to you”.
You nodded, grateful for his candour but uneasy about what he might say. You stiffened but still turned to him and gave him your full attention.
“Okay…so. Like I said, I wanted the kiss. And I’m glad it happened. And I was gonna text…call…and I almost did so many times, I had your contact open on my phone and everything…but I guess…I panicked a little”.
“Panicked?”
“Yeah…I mean,” he sighed. “Because I really like you. And I’m not used to that. And on top of that, I’m your boss. And…you’re leaving town soon anyway. And…our relationship is sorta, volatile? I guess? I admit this is fucked up and chicken shit of me, but I kinda freaked out. I suppose I worried that if I jumped headfirst into something with you, it might be a mess. Or worse, I might fall hard, and it would be that much harder to see you go when the time came. I know you might think this is me taking the easy way out to give you the brush off…but it’s the truth”.
You sat in silence at his admission, eyes wide and lips parted. You were surprised at how open he was. The two of you had never really done ‘direct communication’ before…and it was eye opening to say the least. You knew deep down you agreed, you already knew that finally saying goodbye to him would be tough…you didn’t want to make it any tougher.
“I still shouldn’t have left you hanging like that. I’m sorry,” he told you with sincerity. “I’m not…good at this stuff”.
“And what about you and Amber? I mean the two of you…”
He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “Look…there is no me and Amber…”
“But-” you interrupted harshly. “I’ve seen you..”
“No. Seriously, it’s the truth,” he explained as he ran a hand through his hair. “Amber is cute. She’s fun. Again, I won’t lie to you – we’ve fooled around in the past. But I’m not interested in pursuing anything with her. She knows that, I’ve never lied to her about that. But she tries. And I do care for her. But it’s just messing around. We flirt and it’s fun, and I know it might look I lead her on, but I consistently remind her where I stand. I guess maybe she’s hoping I’ll change my mind? I don’t want to outright ban her from the bar…but she turns up…and some of the guys are involved with her friends…and I guess I’m too clumsy to give the situation the care it deserves because I don’t want to give her false hope, but I don’t want to be outright mean to her either. I know you probably think I’m just some meathead biker juggling girls, but I don’t like hurting people who don’t deserve it”.
You noted the concern in his voice. He really did seem to care about handling it right, even if he wasn’t very good at it. But you remembered the extent of tonight and rolled your eyes.
“C’mon Bucky…that’s all very well and good…but she was sitting in your damn lap this evening. So you’re not exactly taking a hard line with her….” You scowled.
“Yeah…and did you see the part where I rolled my eyes and moved her away?”
“Oh, come on…”
“It’s true! I told her to back off, but you’d disappeared…”
“Don’t insult me…”
“I’m not, it’s the truth!” He frowned. “Okay, fine, maybe I need to be stricter with her. We’ve just been doing this back and forth for so long I sometimes forget how it must look…”
“Poor little you…”
“Oh, don’t give me that. What about you, huh? Flirting and giving out your number in front of me?”
“That’s different! You were ignoring me…I thought you’d knocked me back!”
“I saw that message was from Wanda but you made out it wasn’t…I know what you were doing. You were enjoying me being jealous…And yes, obviously I was jealous, so don’t think make a whole thing of it”.
You stopped suddenly, your cheeks feeling hot as he’d caught you out in your game. “Oops. Um…okay. Fine…”
You both sat quietly until he spoke again.
“I guess both of us have played a part in this, not being upfront with the other about how we feel”.
“Yeah…” you sighed. “That’s true enough…I’m still mad, though”.
“That’s okay. I deserve it”.
He nudged you playfully and you couldn’t help but crack a smile. Damn him.
“Look…given how much drama there’s been already between us…Maybe we should just call it, put a stop to this thing and stay just friends and colleagues. Have quieter lives as a result,” you offered, unable to mask the melancholy in your voice.
He nodded. “Yeah…that probably is for the best”.
You felt sad…but you knew it was the right move. All this drama and angst and you’d only shared a few kisses. Imagine how much worse it would get? What if you’d slept together?? And he was right earlier, this whole thing did have an expiration date. You didn’t want to have to quit your job even if it was temporary. You didn’t want to leave on bad terms because you were banging your boss, or because you were insecure about who else he was banging. It all came back to the same bottom line…you didn’t need this in your life. Not now. Not with Granny’s house.
This was for the best. This was a mature decision. This was growth.
Wait.
Wait.
Why is he looking at you like that…?
What is he….oh.
Uh oh.
“Bucky…” you pleaded softly, but his mouth was already on yours.
“Just friends,” he mumbled into your mouth.
“Just friends,” you whispered against his.
Shit.
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imauthicktic · 2 years ago
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How about the trickster, Wraith, Doctor, and Pyramid Head when they s/o is injured because of someone else thank youuuu
Heyooooo!! I greatly apologize for how long this took. Life has been crazy for me lately. Anyways, I hope you like this!!
Authors note: honestly was thinking about the scene from TWD where Glenn dies when I was writing the Trickster's part cause I saw it recently and I got sad lol
Warnings: mentions of blood but nothing graphic/ explicitly written
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Trickster:
Ji-Woon may be a sadistic man, but he firmly stands by “no one can hurt them but me,” motto. So when you guys are in a trial together, he is living la vida loca. He loves the chase and he always leaves you for last and until you’re the last person, he tends to tease you with either a harsh smack to your ass or a small knick to your exposed skin with a throwing knife, it just depends on how he’s feeling at the moment. 
Today, he’s feeling a little flirty and has been giving you the usual butt smack, but also the occasional grope. The shock on your face afterwards is absolutely priceless and now he’s thinking of making this a normal greeting to you in the trials you share. It definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by the other survivors in the trial. Especially since they all hate being in trials with you two. You usually get special treatment and the flirting can be an eye sore after a while. You get it, you really do, but some of them are taking it out on you and you don’t particularly think it's fair considering how often you help them in all the trials. Ji-Woon was chasing after Ashley when he noticed you ahead of them. Ashley also noticed you in the distance and immediately sped up to where you were. Neither Ji-Woon or you expected what had happened next. Ashley grabbed you and roughly turned you both around and threw you into Ji-Woon who was already swinging his bat and ended up with you getting knocked out. While Ji-Woon was worried about you being unconscious, he put you up against a locker and ran after Ashley. It took no time to get the guy and stab him just enough to keep him alive. Ji-Woon dragged him by his hair over to where he left you. 
You groaned as you woke up, feeling blood dripping down your face and a raging headache. You were trying to clear the black spots from your vision when you heard a voice singing nearby as it slowly got closer. Your vision finally starts getting clearer when you see the flashy yellow leather jacket come into view. “Ahh, my sweet angel, you woke up just in time for the show,” Ji-Woon smirked down at you. He set his bat up against the locker next to you as he dropped Ashley next to you and kneeled down next to you. “T-The show?” you asked. Ji-Woon looked down at you with a small frown, noticing the clear pain you’re in. It’s different when it's intentional, but this time it wasn't and he was going to take out the anger on Ashley while you watch. “Jagi… this is for you darling,” Ji-Woon said before giving a cheeky wink and started to beat Ashley. 
By the time Ji-Woon finished, you were feeling sick from watching. The screams gave you a headache and there was blood falling from your face that wasn’t yours. You knew it wasn’t going to be too fun to deal with Ashley once you got back to the survivors camp, but it's also known that they shouldn’t try to do silly tricks with Ji-Woon as the recipient. Lots of you tried to see what the limits were with the killers and Ji-Woon was not one to mess with. Especially when it comes to you. You were off limits and everyone knew that. Or so you thought. You were still lost in thought staring at the bloody heap that once looked human when you felt yourself being picked up bridal style and you looked into the eyes of your feral man. “Did you enjoy yourself baby? Did you hear those screams? They were great, but not as pleasing to the ears as yours,” he sighed as he walked to a more secluded area. “Uh, it was quite the show Ji,” you quietly said as he sat you down on a short wall where you were eye level with him. 
He looked deeply into your eyes as he put his hands on the sides of your head and gently moved it to where he can see the damage to your head. He smacked his teeth in annoyance at the clear gash on the top of your scalp. He kissed your forehead as he went to grab a med pack he saw on the way over. Once he’s back, he quickly makes work on wrapping your head and giving small apologies when you hissed at the pain. “Ta-dah! You are healed!” he said doing jazz hands with a flashy smile on his face. You let out a snort at that. “Yeah with a swing like yours, I’m lucky to still have my head.” His smile didn’t fall as his left eye twitched at your comment. He, however, softened his smile as he rested his hands on your thighs. “You know I would never hurt you that bad. I know I can be a dick, but I do love you, jagiya,” he said as he leaned in to brush a surprisingly soft, sweet kiss to your lips. He pulled back slightly and rested his forehead against yours. You let out a small giggle before blurting out, “if only you were nice like this all the time.” Ji-Woon immediately pulled back, looked you dead in the eyes, and turned around to walk away, “good luck getting to see that side again!” “W-Wait! What? You can tease, but I can’t? Hey! I said wait!!” you hopped off the wall and ran up to him and jumped onto his back and wrapped your limbs around him causing you both to laugh as he just continued walking with you attached to him.
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Wraith:
Philip could sense you the moment you stepped foot into his realm. You could say he has “Y/N senses”. Knowing you’re here, he transported to where you were at the edge of his realm. He was excited as the past few days, he hasn’t been able to see you because of the trials making it impossible to have time together. Either he was in a trial when you weren’t or you were in a trial when he wasn’t. He just missed you and couldn’t wait to gather you in his arms. However, when he transported to you, he was not expecting to see you in clear discomfort. He knows every now and then that the survivors can be hurt for a little while after a trial before they get properly healed, but he’s never seen you in this much pain before. 
You look up at Philip with a wobbly smile and tears in your eyes. You limped towards him when a sharp pain shot up your leg making you gasp. Philip’s arm shot straight out to grab you as you nearly fell forward. Philip pulled you into him and you sighed feeling his warmth surrounding you and wrapped your arms around his torso. He grunted at you to get you to look up at him. You can see how worried he is through his expression. “Oh Philip. It was such a tiring trial and I missed you so much.” He missed you so much and he knew that he wanted to just take care of you until you’re healed and spend his time spoiling you with his affection. He leaned down to you and rubbed his nose against yours sweetly before picking you up and transporting into the wreck yard building with the sound of his bell. 
Once inside, he put you down onto the makeshift bed you guys had put together a while ago. He leaned down to look at your blood-soaked wrapped up ankle. He carefully reached down and knew who the culprit was immediately. The bite marks of a bear trap are obvious and deep. He let out a small sigh as he grabbed some rags that were lying around to replace the tattered and soaked through gauze. He knew there wasn’t much for him to do to help and you knew that as well. It was just a waiting game at this point. “I’m sure you could’ve guessed it was a trial with Evan,” you were brought to this ‘world’ with your old childhood friend, the one that everyone knows as The Trapper. “Evan wrapped me up after the trial when I started heading here,” you pause, “he’s still looking out for me after all these years.. I hate that he still sees me as that clumsy little kid he met so long ago.” You let out a small laugh thinking about all the times he had taken care of your scraped knees and twisted ankles. Philip and Evan had a small, non-verbal agreement to always have an eye out for you. They both understand your importance to each other and Philip is happy that you have someone else that takes care of you out of genuine love for you.
You can already feel your ankle heal as the pain is finally subsiding and you can tell the wounds are closing up. You let out a groan of relief because now you can move it freely without wincing in pain. Philip was pleased knowing that you were feeling better and laid down in front of you on the bed and wrapped himself around you. His arms brought you closer to him as he breathed in your scent. You moved your head back a bit so that Philip could look you in the eyes. He loved the softness of your eyes when you were relaxed and in his arms. The past few days of not seeing each other made you both crave each other’s presence to the max and now that you are both in the present and wrapped in each other’s arms, you both couldn’t be happier. You both rubbed your noses together and then rested your foreheads together as you both breath in the moment.
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Doctor:
Herman is definitely the best one to take care of an injured significant other. I know he specializes in psychology, but I feel like he knows basic first aid and has the facility to take care of these things. Especially considering his dear significant other is a survivor, they tend to get hurt quite often. However, he knows he can’t control what the other killers do when it comes to their trials, but he knows he can scare the other survivors to keep their hands to themselves.
When you finally got out of the trial you were in, he didn’t expect you to look so shell-shocked as you walked up to his desk. Herman stood up and slowly walked up to you and put his hands on your arms. “Are you ok my love?” he asked, trying to meet your far off gaze. You couldn’t even respond as you just shook at the thoughts of dealing with that damned creepy clown. He got you just as you were about to run out the gate. Being mori’d by that bastard makes you sick. Taking your pinky makes you want to throw up knowing he’s possibly sucking on it again. Herman’s eyes ran over your body in worry trying to see if there was anything physically wrong and noticed your wrapped up hand. He gently grabbed it and unwrapped the gauze. As he was finishing unwrapping he saw that your pinky was gone and put all the pieces together. He knew of your fear of the clown. For some reason, you’ve been able to avoid trials with him since you and Herman have been together, so it's the first time he’s seen you like this.
With a small sigh Herman brought you over to his desk and touched his nose against your cheek before going to grab some pain numbing ointment that he remembered having and some fresh gauze. Herman grabbed your chin and lifted your head up so he could look you in the eyes as he said, “I’m sorry that you had to deal with that creature of a clown.” You teared up a little thinking about the genuine fear you have when dealing with that guy. Herman rubbed his thumbs against your cheeks and placed his forehead against yours before he pulled away to take care of your hand. 
After finishing the rewrap and putting his supplies away he sat down at the chair of his desk in front of you and patted his lap. You got off the top of the desk and eased your way across his lap as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He moved one hand to rest on your thigh and rubbed his thumb against it in small circles. “Thank you Herman,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and tucking your head on his shoulder. “Anything for you darling.”
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Pyramid Head:
Pyramid Head is definitely one of the killers here that no one messed. Killers and survivors alike. However, you’re an exception. You’re his lover and everyone is cautious of that. All but a few killers know not to cross a line when it comes to you since they don’t want to deal with the wrath of Pyramid Head. 
Today was a slow day for you and you thought maybe you would be lucky and not have a trial for a whole day. Unfortunately, as soon as you finished that thought, the fog consumed you and brought you to Haddonfield map. Probably one of the least scary maps in your opinion. Not yet knowing who the killer was always made you a little nervous, so you started working out your nerves by working on the generators. Sadly, you’re still on edge so you get startled by Vittorio coming up behind you, thus messing up the wiring and the generator combusting. “Vitto! You scared me,” you said, almost embarrassed. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said genuinely. You both quickly started repairing it as you guys heard a scream far in the distance so you know the killer isn’t too close yet.
You couldn’t shake the feeling that no one went to help the person that got hooked so you left Vitto to finish up this generator as you made your way towards the person you can hear still struggling. Thank goodness you found the med pack on the way there and it looks like you made it just in time to save Steve. You got him off the hook and started making quick work on healing him, “hey kiddo, sorry I didn’t get here that fast-” “It’s ok, you got me. That’s all that matters,” he said. You’ve always had a soft spot for the younger ones here as it must be so hard being in a place like this, plus they were pretty nice kids so you took on the older sibling role for them.
Finally finishing with healing Steve, you guys got up and you were about to guide him to a generator to work on when you felt your heart rate increase. You both made eye contact and ran off in a random direction together just trying to escape the vicinity. You could hear and feel the heavy footsteps of the killer and immediately knew it was your monster man. That doesn’t change the fact that he would still do his job and hook you. Steve was just ahead of you when you pointed out the palette making him go in that direction with you still right behind him and Pyramid Head trudging behind you. However, you don’t think Steve knew that you were in close proximity because he dropped the palette on top of you. You groaned in pain and Pyra did not have the best reaction to you getting hurt by someone else. He nearly roared in rage when he broke the palette that was on top of you. Steve didn’t even get the chance to apologize before you told him to run.
Pyra leaned down to lift you up enough to sit you against the wall. You had blood dripping down from a small cut on your forehead. Pyramid Head was about to go after Steve when you grabbed his free arm and started rambling out, “wait! H-He didn’t mean to hurt me, big guy. It was an accident, he would never do that on purpose.” Pyra could hear the honesty in your tone and he rested his hand against your cheek and brushed his thumb against your cheekbone. “It’s ok bub. Give me a minute and you can hook me, ok?” He let out a little groan as his tongue poked out the open corner of the pyramid and caressed your other cheek. You both knew the deal when in a trial together and he always hooked you just to get you out of the trial faster. Not many survivors make it out when he’s the killer and he doesn’t want you to go through the stress of these trials. Although, for now, he’s going to bask in this small moment with you.
Anyways lmk what y’all think!! Requests are closed! You can put in a request but anything after 3/15 is going to take a little while
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tyrelbauer · 10 months ago
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can you do a matt rempe x reader where she just gets super worried about him fighting a getting hurt. or maybe one where she tells him she’s pregnant?? or maybe even a mux of both lol?! i love your writing!!!!💗
"Did You Say Something About A Baby?" Pairing: Matt Rempe x Fem!reader Summary: Matt keeps getting in fight after fight and you finally have enough. Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, swearing, angst.
Matt walks into your shared apartment, his black eye looking worse than it did this morning.
"I'm home." He tells you, walking into the living room.
"I see."
"You okay?"
"Mhm."
"No you're not. You're giving me attitude."
You shrug and go back to watching your show, deciding that giving him the silent treatment was probably best so you wouldn't go and snap at him.
"Can you at least tell me why your mad at me?"
"You already know the answer to that Matthew." You say, keeping your focus on the tv in front of you.
"Because I got in another fight?" He asks, picking up the tv remote and pausing it so you had no choice but to pay attention to him.
"We talked about you not fighting multiple times, Matt.
"I can't help it."
"Yes, you can!"
You stand up and go to walk past him, but he stops you.
"Why are you so worried about me fighting! I can handle myself!"
"It's not that I think you can't handle yourself, Matthew! I just don't want anything to fucking happen to you!"
"Nothing is going to happen to me."
"You don't know that! It's bad enough I'm stressing about the baby! I shouldn't have to be stressing about you too!"
You push past him before he can reply and walk down the hallway to your guys' room.
He gives you a couple minutes to cool down before coming back to talk to you.
"I'm sorry. You asked me to stop and I should have."
"I-I'm just worried about you."
"I know."
He sits down on the bed beside you and wraps you in a hug as you cry into his chest.
"Did you say something about a baby?"
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. I didn't even mean to tell you like that. I wanted to tell you in a cute way." You say, moving to look at him.
He wipes your tears and leans in and kisses you.
"I love you."
"I l-love you too."
"When did you find out?"
"Like two weeks ago."
"You've known for two weeks and didn't tell me? What happened to the girl who couldn't keep secrets from me?"
"To be fair, you have been away for hockey, and I obviously wasn't going to tell you over the phone."
"Yeah, that's fair. Do you want to go shopping for baby stuff tomorrow?"
"We don't even know what we're having yet."
"So? We can still get a couple outfits."
"I mean I might have already started…"
He laughs, kissing your forehead. "I should've known. You're always one step ahead of me."
"I try," you tease, resting your head on his chest. "But yes, I'd love to go shopping for baby stuff tomorrow."
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btsmosphere · 8 months ago
Text
Supercharged | JJK
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Chapter 6: Burn Out
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🗲summary: It starts with a blow to the chest that changes your life. When your city’s most celebrated hero pays a visit, it turns out the noble Bolt has no trouble tossing lives aside. Lives that won't be missed. Lives like yours. Seven mysterious and powerful men give you another chance – one that starts to feel more like a curse the moment you meet golden boy Jungkook. The boy who wants you as far from his brothers as he can get you. Is it you he hates, or the blue lightning that now runs through your veins? And could it be his golden light that illuminates your heart when darkness threatens? 🗲this chapter: When things get ahead of you, your powers aren’t the only things to spill over; some truth is ready to breach the surface.
🗲pairing: jungkook x female reader 🗲word count: 7k 🗲genre: angst, action, eventual fluff, enemies to lovers, slow burn, superheroes/villains au, found family 🗲rating: pg15 🗲warnings: violence with superpowers, swearing, minor injuries, self-doubt, over-training, loss of control and... awkwardness
a/n: this could have been two chapters, and I did think about it, but fuck it, you guys deserve a nice hefty update! this just means there's a fair bit of development ahead...
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“At least Namjoon didn’t blow out any of the lightbulbs. Those are a nightmare to replace.”
Jimin smiled weakly when you didn’t respond to his joke. His worried gaze travelled to V, who stood behind you. He shrugged.
With a sigh, Jimin sat back. You hadn’t looked him in the eye as he checked your wounds, too caught up thinking. About the ways Jungkook was stronger than you. The ways you messed up. If only you had more stamina, if only you could shoot quicker, use more power.
The fight replayed in your head, displaying all the moments you could have responded better.
Was Jungkook right? Were you anywhere near ready to go out there?
“All done.”
You blinked, finding Jimin staring back at you. How long had he been waiting?
“Oh. Thanks,” you tried your best to muster a smile.
Sending you a smile in return, he stood up, placing the first aid box into the cupboard.
“It’s alright. At least you got out relatively unscathed,” he said, “just some bruises, a couple of singes here and there.”
He winced again at the sight of the faint bruising on your neck. Though he wished he could say this wasn’t like the Jungkook he knew, he would be lying.
Jungkook hurt people all the time: all of them did. But here, at home, he was usually at ease with their little family. After everything he had been through, however, Jimin knew very well how short his youngest brother’s fuse could be.
A quiet click announced the newcomer as Hobi poked his head round the bathroom door.
“Everything alright?” he asked.
It fell a little awkwardly in the space. Nothing was alright after tensions had boiled over so violently just half an hour ago, and you all knew it. Still, you gave him a nod.
Slipping into the room, Hope leaned against the counter, dodging out of the way as Jimin threw a few band-aid wrappers in the bin.
“Sorry about Jungkook,” Hope began, “he… he’s a bit protective. But we thought it would get better. It should never have got this far.
“You can do whatever you want today, get food and watch movies. I should think Kook will be training for quite a while.”
The way he said that left no doubt as to what the younger was actually doing. Images from his rage workout the other day invaded your head. Good, as long as he was away from you.
Tugging your hoodie back on to cover the bruises you had acquired, you agreed and followed the others to the living room. Soon taking up residency on the couch, you didn’t intend on moving anywhere soon.
Thankfully, the others didn’t expect you to either. Nor did they push you for conversation when you were so evidently staying quiet, and instead they put a film on and chatted around you.
You didn’t see Jungkook that whole day.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t lingering in your mind, though. At the very least, the slight discomfort from the bruises he had given you served as a reminder of everything that had transpired. But your frustration fluctuated between him and yourself.
If Jungkook’s behaviour could be excused as protective, you were going to need a lot more explanation than that. What reason had you given him to hate you so much?
He hadn’t given you the chance to do anything but fail since you got there, so how could you be expected to trust him?
But while you wanted him to see that you could be trusted, you started to doubt that yourself. Maybe you were trying to help the boys by joining them, but as much as you wanted to deny it, Jungkook had proved that you were weak.
For now, you didn’t want to go near him, so you used that as your excuse for staying put all day, letting the household go about its day around you. But steadily, your mind filled with all the things you needed to work on. You had to patch up the gaps where your powers lacked, and you weren’t going to rely on Jungkook to do it anymore.
Maybe if you proved yourself, they would want you after all? Besides showing your lack of bond with Jungkook, today had surely showed Namjoon that you weren’t up to the task.
That was why he had stood you down.
Which was why you found yourself alone in a training room a few days later.
Since that day, you hadn’t trained. For one thing, your trainer had cemented his place as your mortal enemy, so you had no one to practise your powers with, since the others were all preparing for other things.
As for physical training, you thought they would at least let you do that. But they insisted you needed to rest for a couple more days.
You didn’t protest too much, but you knew this was how it would begin. This was their excuse to stop you training. They had given up on you, thinking you weren’t good enough to join them.
You were going to show them, Jungkook above all.
Now they were away on a mission, Jungkook nowhere to be found, leaving you the opportunity at last.
With the way the last outing had gone, they had switched plans. Now, instead of waiting around for Bolt to strike, they were beginning to relocate their allies, moving important weapons and things to more secure locations, while feeding Bolt’s informants the impression that the vacated premises were still operational. They hoped it would buy some time so they could formulate more of a plan to combat Bolt, without him gaining more power in the meantime.
Of course, Jungkook was still seething. He had made himself scarce the moment the others left, no doubt wanting to avoid spending any time with you.
You weren’t complaining.
Breathing deeply, you assessed the targets you had set up. A smile graced your face. The last time you had trained alone, you had accomplished a lot. Maybe you would try lifting objects again.
But first, you had to work on your speed. That was the main weaknesses Jungkook had highlighted. You weren’t able to keep up with him, and you had to change that.
Rolling out your stiff shoulders, wincing for a moment when it twinged the last remnants of your bruises, you raised an arm.
Your power felt a little rusty as it burst from your palm. Gritting your teeth against the slight tingle of pain, you cut it off and fired again. After a few tries, it felt pretty much normal. You weren’t going to wait any longer.
Lifting both arms now, you alternated your fire, turning in the space as you tried to hit each target. You hit them all, bolstering your confidence as you took a breather and went again. You may have hit them all, but you wanted to be faster.
This time, you didn’t even wait for one bolt to die away before you fired the next one. Focussing on short, sharp bursts, you let your powers pulse through the air.
The rattle and clash of metal filled the space as you shook each target in turn.
You made it around the room again, finding a rhythm, but this time you didn’t stop. Bolt wouldn’t stop if he was attacking you; Jungkook hadn’t. You had to push through.
So when you approached the familiar feeling of your powers slipping, you simply pushed through. You maintained your speed, barely able to keep up with the pace you had set. It was like running while the ground was slipping from under you, but you stayed standing and on your toes, enjoying the exhilaration of the electricity flowing through you.
You felt its power, hot and fierce in your chest, revelling in your ability to control it.
Then, one bolt sputtered and died. You picked it up again in a split second as you fired the next lightning into the space, but it scared you. Picturing the onslaught of gold from the other day, you knew that could cost you dearly in a fight.
So while your powers protested, you pressed on. Now, you had to force out each beam of light, but you weren’t about to stop. You had to improve. You had to succeed.
You didn’t notice when the heat of your powers became unpleasant. That burning sensation hadn’t invaded you for so long, but suddenly it was overwhelming, crashing down on you.
Gasping at the sharp pain, you staggered for a moment, not wanting to stop.
You raised your arm again. This would not defeat you. You had to push through.
Nothing came.
You searched for the familiar feeling to unleash your power, but instead you felt a tangle in your chest, a sparking ball of electricity that hissed at you like a wild animal.
Not now…
A stabbing pain lanced through your chest, blue suddenly erupting into the air. But this time it wasn’t you. Your power clawed its way down your arm, leaving a burning trail in its wake.
Biting down on a pained cry, you looked around in fear at the empty training room.
Though panicked, you knew you had to control it. You had pushed just a little too far, you only needed to reign it in again.
But as you closed your eyes, trying to find the centre of your power, shut it off like you were used to, more blasts leapt from that chasm in your chest. You battled to close it down, but it had power over you now.
Blue filled the space, colliding with the walls, clattering against targets.
Your knees buckled, sending you crashing to the floor. Now, you were unable to control it as you cried out, each release of your power coming with its own wave of pain. You thought you had left this unbearable heat behind, but now it seared through your body with a vengeance as your powers ran rampant.
Control it, control it-
But you couldn’t find space to breathe, let alone to calm your powers. Your arms shook, a tear breaking free from your eye as you gasped.
What had you done?
In your vision, blurry with pained tears and cut up by streaks of luminescent blue, something moved.
Though you lay panting on the floor, you squinted towards it. It was a person.
Were the others back? Your frazzled mind barely had time to wonder this, before the most pressing issue asserted itself again.
Wincing and curling in on yourself as another shot of electricity forced its way from you, you called out. Your voice was raw and shaking, but you had to protect them.
“Don’t come near! I’ll- I might hurt you!”
You knew your voice was thick with tears, but surely they could understand you? Why were they coming closer?
At the same time, both a yelp of pain and a lightning bolt escaped you. Your eyes widened; the figure was directly in its path.
A flash of gold.
The figure ran closer.
Despite your state, you had enough presence of mind to feel your cheeks burning as Jungkook came to a stop in front of you, looking down at you with wide, panicked eyes. For a few seconds, his mouth opened and closed uselessly.
Then, another bolt. And another.
As they cut through the room, leaving behind their signature of burning pain, the world tilted. Your eyes squeezed shut, Jungkook forgotten as the sizzling sting of your powers took up your thoughts.
You wanted it to stop.
“Control it.”
The instruction was muttered in your ear, closer than you expected. The next moment, a weight shifted against your back, pulling you to sit upright and against something. Someone.
Still heaving for air, you shook your head.
“I- I c-can’t!”
Another flash of blue, another flash of pain.
The arm that was looped around you squeezed tighter.
“You have to. Control it.”
And then a hand was placed against your back, steady and firm compared to your own body. It nestled between your shoulder blades.
The next thing you knew, a warm sensation bloomed there. But not uncomfortable, like your own rebelling powers. It bled through you, enveloping the mess that your powers had become. Your eyes slid closed, basking in the relief from the searing pain.
You could feel your powers, a blue weight sitting in your chest. You couldn’t see them, of course, but you had always felt them to be blue – not that you had realised. Not until now, at least, because the calming light that surrounded your power felt startlingly gold in comparison.
After a moment, you were collected enough to take control. With the aid of soothing gold containing your power, you were able to breathe deeply, closing off the electricity as you had done that first time in Namjoon’s office.
The gold faded.
Still, the hand on your back lingered, remaining steady.
“Okay?”
It was only now that the weight of this situation hit you. Jungkook had had to rescue you. From your own powers, no less.
You simply nodded, not trusting words to form.
At your confirmation, his hand finally left you. He had been sitting behind you, supporting you, but now he moved away. You would deny that you missed it.
But he only shifted around to your side, sliding an arm under your own.
“Are you crazy?” he asked, but there wasn’t much bite behind it.
Shaking his head, he muttered a curse as he helped lift you from the ground.
“What were you thinking?”
Again, the usual venom was missing from his voice. You kept your eyes down, not responding.
Huffing a little, he turned towards to the door. And paused.
“Can you get upstairs?”
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Chewing on your lip, you kept your eyes fixed on your mug. You found the blanket you were wrapped in very interesting all of a sudden, fiddling and tugging at it with your free hand.
It was quiet.
It had been quiet for a while now, but neither of you were particularly inclined to change that.
Jungkook sat across from you, stiff and upright in his seat while you were huddled inside a blanket. He had sort of thrown it at you earlier. He hadn’t given you a second glance, instructing you rather coldly to sit, but it had to be the closest thing to affection he had ever shown you.
He was also holding a mug of tea. Perhaps it was just for show; he hadn’t lifted it once.
In a moment of weakness, your eyes darted up. You instantly regretted it, as you found his gaze already trained on you, and you both hurriedly averted your eyes again.
Just for something to do, you took a sip of tea, the slurp painfully audible in the silence. Your hand still shook a little when you lifted the mug.
Lowering it slowly, you chewed on your cheek.
“Thanks.”
You blurted it out without much consideration, the silence finally becoming too much for you.
Unfortunately, the quiet hung around a bit longer. Warily raising your eyes again, you watched Jungkook for a reaction.
His eyes were avoiding you, looking instead at a blank spot on the wall.
Then he sucked in a breath, leaning forwards to deposit his still-full mug on the coffee table.
“So do you want to tell me what you were doing?”
Finally his eyes turned to you, leaving you breathless. Your shame over what happened made words stick in your throat, but you knew you would have to explain.
Tearing your gaze from his to glare at your mug again, you felt your cheeks heating up. But you forced yourself to talk.
“You… you were right the other day. I’m not strong enough, or fast enough. I was trying to work on that – on my speed. I thought if I pushed myself, it might help. But I… I just lost control.”
Letting out a breath when you finished speaking, you looked up hesitantly. A light frown was on Jungkook’s face as he assessed you. He was thinking a little too hard for your liking.
He sat back.
“You remind me of Bolt.”
If you were still drinking, you would have choked. Your eyes widened, not knowing how to respond to that. In your search for words, all you could manage was an indignant but half-hearted excuse me?
A smirk quirked the corner of Jungkook’s mouth.
“You’re so pig-headed,” he began, “you treat your powers like some sort of game and pretend you’re good at everything…”
You simply stared, disbelieving. Was he seriously saying this to your face?
“And when you want something, you decide you’re getting it–” he eyed you before adding “–not to mention all the blue shit.”
He gestured in the general direction of all of you. You gaped.
But then he dropped his gaze, sighing.
“I… wanted to knock you down. You’re way too good at everything. You remind me of Bolt because he’s indestructible. Or it seems that way.”
Finally managing to scoff at his words, you shook your head incredulously.
“So now you think I’m good enough?”
“I didn’t want you going out there, okay?” he snapped, “I don’t trust you.”
“Just because my powers look like Bolt’s? Is that it? I never asked for this-”
“I know.”
Jungkook’s voice was softer now, startling your rant to a halt. His hands were clasped, elbows resting on his knees. And he wouldn’t quite look you in the eye.
“You’re not like Bolt. He’s the one that hurt you. I just couldn’t separate the image of you from him, what with you being so… obnoxious, and determined.”
He paused. Sighed.
“And I lied, okay?” his voice was quiet, “you’re fine. Your speed is good, you could pretty much keep up with me, and that’s saying something. I thought you’d know better.”
A frown creased your brows together. Now you were confused.
Looking up once again, he met your eyes.
“You shouldn’t push your powers, surely the others told you that? They can reach their limit, and I’m fairly sure yours did when we fought. Today was too soon, you shouldn’t have worn them out like that. You won’t be able to use them for a while. Not like that, anyway.”
“Like what?”
“Fast. You overwhelmed them, it might take a bit to build up your speed again.”
You swallowed, not wanting to believe his words.
“Or, you just want me out of training-” you bit back, but he cut you off.
“Oh, I couldn’t care less,” he sniggered, “go ahead and burn out your powers for all I care. I’m just telling you.”
You didn’t really know what to say to that. You simply tugged your blanket a little tighter around your shoulders.
“Turns out you’re human just like the rest of us.”
Was that supposed to be a compliment? Or an insult? You couldn’t really tell.
After a moment holding his gaze, you went back to your tea. The two of you seemed to agree on one thing at least, and that was avoiding each other’s eyes as the silence stretched on.
Even once your mug was emptied, you fidgeted with it, letting your fingers slide around the handle for something to do. Jungkook’s words turned over in your head. It was probably the closest he had ever come to giving you actual advice. Perhaps you should take it, give your powers a rest for a short while.
It surprised you that Jungkook hadn’t yet left. He looked remarkably awkward on the other couch, refusing to relax into the seat but sitting ramrod straight on the edge instead, insisting for some reason on staying there.
Never before had he voluntarily endured your presence for this long.
He seemed to notice you sizing him up. He turned his gaze to find you watching him with your head tilted. And somehow, he too looked hesitant, far from the confidence you usually saw in him.
You swallowed, but didn’t look away.
“Don’t tell the others?”
Your voice was quiet but clear in the space. Jungkook quirked an eyebrow.
“You’re really determined to join us, aren’t you?”
With a sigh, your expression softened. You finally looked away, picking absently at your blanket while you replied.
“I agree with what you guys are doing. Bolt tried to kill me, all because I was just… there, at the wrong time. I didn’t matter to him. That doesn’t seem like someone who cares about protecting people. So I don’t want him to get whatever he wants with those weapons he’s collecting.”
Expecting the usual argument about you being of no use, you kept your eyes stubbornly down. But Jungkook was quiet.
If you looked up, you would have seen him blinking at you. Curious, almost.
But you never did, not until his expression clouded over again and he made to speak.
“And if the others knew you did something this stupid, they’d keep you away from the action even longer.”
You rolled your eyes, but had to admit that Jungkook wasn’t wrong.
“Pretty much,” you conceded, “and I do want this. It finally feels like I have a purpose.”
You had never expected to be so blisteringly honest with Jungkook, but when you laid beseeching eyes on him, you knew you had got through somehow.
Seemingly displeased with his own decision, his mouth straightened into a line.
“Fine. I won’t tell them. But you better not do it again, you know I’ll get the blame as well.”
You weren’t sure if that was entirely true, but if Jungkook wanted to make that his reason for helping you out, then so be it.
At last, it seemed he had reached his limit with you. He stood abruptly, casting one more glance at you, and strode away. Watching his retreating form, you sunk further into the sofa. A subtle smile took up residence on your face.
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You hadn’t even put the tv on. Silence filled the apartment and you stared up at the ceiling from your position on the sofa.
Since you and Jungkook talked a few days ago, he had, surprisingly, kept his word. Around the others he stoically ignored you as normal, but also diligently kept his mouth shut about your little accident.
You suspected he also didn’t want to admit to helping you. But whatever kept him quiet worked for you.
It was true that he glanced over at you more often despite his continued frosty attitude towards you. Or perhaps you were imagining that? He was just glaring at you like always – only, you began to read into it too much. Now you two shared a secret, in a sense, it meant that every time his eyes locked with yours they seemed to hold more significance.
However, you had to remind yourself nothing had changed. The two of you were still only here because you were stuck together on Namjoon’s orders. Which was the same reason Jungkook had been the one to help you before.
No, nothing had changed.
Turning your head, you let your cheek fall against the cushion as you hesitantly gazed at the tv. Maybe you should put it on, just to fill the silence?
The lack of noise in the house served as proof that Jungkook wanted as little to do with you as ever. The moment the boys were out, he made himself scarce.
At least you had been permitted to learn more about what exactly they were doing when they went out. They were leaving the house more and more frequently, and for longer stretches of time. Given Bolt’s movements, and his startling power at their last encounter (due to the weapons he had stolen from Kuyang), the boys were launching a counter-operation.
If they couldn’t defend their allies from a direct attack, they had to bide their time until they could build an attack strategy.
So for now, they were relocating important developers to throw Bolt off. Stop him before he could gain even more power; before he became too much of a match for them.
Jin seemed fairly confident that they had tracked Bolt’s sources well enough to feed him misinformation to keep him unaware of their movements. The only risk now lay in the transportation of what you could only assume were deadly weapons through the city.
Standing on the kitchen counter was a small black receiver. You could turn it on if you wanted, hear what was happening.
You were contemplating it when something pulled at your thoughts. Your focus frayed, distracted by that incomprehensible feeling that there was someone behind you.
Flipping over on the sofa, you found Jungkook leaning against the wall. His arms were folded, but there was no glare entrenched on his face. Startled, you eyed his damp hair, the oversized black shirt hanging from his shoulders.
Clearly he had just come from a shower, so why wasn’t he going to train?
The absence of a scowl was really throwing you off. He didn’t look totally comfortable, expression tight and slightly expectant, but what did he want with you?
You raised your eyebrows in question.
He blinked at you, then his eyes slid away from your face, looking somewhere over your head and through to the kitchen.
“Training,” he said.
You continued to stare, but he just as stubbornly avoided your eyes.
After another moment, you huffed and sat up.
“Training?” you echoed.
“We’re going to training.”
“…we?”
“You heard me.”
His response was dry. Already, he was pushing away from the wall and turning his back on you, leaving you little choice but to follow.
Leaving the couch and hurrying after him, you made it to his side on the stairs.
“I thought I wasn’t supposed to use my powers? After…”
“Not for speed,” he corrected you, eyes fixed ahead.
A frown furrowed your brow as you reached the training space. Today, you remained in the main, largest room. There was no one around and clearly Jungkook didn’t have want of the targets you normally used, as he stopped right in the middle and turned to you.
His brows were pinched, clearly a little hesitant about this. You noticed the way his teeth pulled slightly at his lower lip.
“Power,” he said.
You stared. With a subtle roll of his eyes, he elaborated.
“Apart from speed, that’s what you need to work on. You need to connect with your powers, feel like the light is an extension of you. Since you can’t work on your agility, it’s time to think about force.”
Nodding, you felt your confidence raise a little. When you had trained by yourself before, you had hit upon that exact feeling he described, an almost physical connection that let you lift the target.
Plus, using a little force would be more than welcome, with the pent up tension you had felt since your last disastrous practice.
Jungkook took your confirmation and stepped forwards into line with you, holding your gaze. He held his arms slightly away from his body, palms facing you.
“Summon your powers and push against me,” he instructed.
It took you a moment to get your bearings and prepare to use your powers. It had been a while. You tried to hide your slight wince when you searched for the powers only to find a scorching, tangled mess where they usually flowed from, like someone had knotted barbed wire there.
Swallowing, you let your eyes slide shut for a moment. It was as if your power was hissing at you, an animal you had to coax from hiding.
But coax it you did, the first slight tug leading them to easily unravel until the electricity flowed through your veins again. Beside a slight tremor in the flow of blue light you released, it seemed fairly normal.
Surely Jungkook wouldn’t approve of the clumsiness with which you handled your powers, though? But when you looked up, he only appeared focussed.
With a small nod as your powers shot through the air, his eyes clouded with gold and his own luminous lightning welled in his hands.
He didn’t fire a strong bolt to match yours. It appeared that he held a small golden fountain in each hand, bubbling gently, just enough to dispel your blue electricity before it could strike his palms.
Your eyes connected.
It was curious, how Jungkook’s eyes looked so much less deadly when they were literally glowing with power. As you held his gaze, you felt no urge to look away. Instead, his focus, gentle and firm at the same time, affirmed you.
Taking a breath, you continued to let your powers flow freely.
“Concentrate on your powers,” he spoke in a low voice, “feel them moving through you. Then follow that feeling outwards, feel where they connect with me.”
Taking in his words with a determined nod, you searched within you for the feeling he spoke of.
This time, you didn’t close your eyes. You were already familiar with the taste of your power in your veins, and found it with little effort.
But you stared into those gold eyes as you searched for him, the sight of them making it easier to find the corresponding sensation. Colliding with your power, you were surprised to stumble across a warmth pulsing against them. You hadn’t even realised you had followed the flow of your powers outside your fingertips; the feeling hadn’t altered as far as you could tell.
Sure enough, however, there was Jungkook – it was undeniable. Inexplicably, the intensity of his eyes felt the exact same as the fiery power rushing to meet your own lightning.
Before you could say anything, Jungkook’s lips twitched into a smirk.
“You can feel it, right?”
Now you had found it, it was easy to hold onto the sensation of his powers as they met your own.
Elated, you exhaled with a smile. His grew too.
“I’m going to push back now,” he said, “keep the connection. It’ll be like arm wrestling, only with our powers.”
You knew you should have felt a little sceptical about that. If it was anything like arm wrestling, Jungkook would be able to topple you in a second. He had been training much longer than you, and was undeniably stronger.
In fact, all you felt was an ignition in your chest, competitiveness flaring up inside you.
Jungkook’s expression shifted into focus. His smirk slipped into a concentrated line.
Where the gold in his eyes had been rippling lazily, it now grew in ferocity, blazing harshly in contrast to the abysses of his dark pupils.
The instant his powers switched, you felt it. No longer a soft warmth, they sent a jolt through you as they connected in earnest, the threads of your electricity fusing together like wires and throwing out a ball of sparks.
The molten light warred in the air between you, your eyes no doubt as vivid as Jungkook’s as you allowed more power through your palms to match his force.
To your surprise, they complied instantly. It seemed your powers were enjoying being let out like this, having lashed out the last time when you had stubbornly forced them to stop and start. With the growing power flowing from you, their connection with Jungkook strengthened as well. You could sense a distinctly gold force clashing with your powers.
Even though you could see the point where your powers converged, the feeling allowed you to notice every minute crackle of electricity, every pulse of Jungkook’s lightning.
Just like before, when you had lifted the target, your powers felt much more than just a fleeting rush of sparks. They formed a bridge outwards from your body, reaching beyond.
You felt strong.
And if Jungkook wanted to wrestle, you weren’t going to go down easily.
Channelling yet more power outwards, you pushed hard against his gold powers where they met your own.
For a moment, you succeeded in subduing the opposing force. Sparks flew again, Jungkook staggering back a step as the gold light retreated from your advance, blue dominating the bolt of energy that connected you two.
Jungkook smiled.
The next moment, it became clear he had been waiting for you to get used to the feeling and make a move. But you had no time to be touched by his newfound patience as you found yourself battling against a renewed burst of pressure from his end.
Raising your arms to be level with your shoulders, aiming at him, you gritted your teeth and stubbornly weathered the temptation to step back as his powers shoved against yours.
Now both of you were using all your energy, the connection was more vivid than before. You could sense every vein of the electricity, his as well as yours. Finding strength from somewhere, you resisted his onslaught and managed to take a step forwards.
Your tussle continued, fire against fire, both of you matching the other’s power but advancing until you were practically toe to toe.
Outstretched, slightly above your head, your hands were level, vibrant light still connecting them although his palm was just inches from yours. A waterfall of blue and gold sparks fell between your faces while you stared at each other with blazing eyes. Your breathing was heavy, trying to keep up with his relentless power, but Jungkook was also panting, damp hair falling over his eyes.
You were out of breath, but the warm air brushing over your face from Jungkook’s lips assured you that you weren’t the only one.
A sharp, exhilarated smile lit up his mouth. A brow quirked, his words breathless as he spoke.
“Not bad. Hold it…”
Sucking in a breath, you prepared for one last effort. Avoiding Jungkook’s eyes had long left your priority list, and now you were drawn in by the burning gold within them. It was like you were staring at the sun, but you couldn’t look away, not even when their light grew, yet more of his power flowing through you.
His gaze burned just as intently back, eyes trained on your own which were surely lit up blue. A slight crease formed in his brow, perhaps from concentration…
Again, you matched his power even as he overloaded the connection, more and more energy sparking in the air-
His gaze flitted away, the connection cutting abruptly.
For a moment, the brightness of the sparks, and Jungkook’s eyes, left dazzling prints on your vision even as they sputtered from existence. Air rushed in and out of your lungs, the exertion not hitting you until now.
Without the channel to focus your energy, you staggered back from Jungkook, blinking in the relative dimness.
Sensing the strength that had drained from you, you let yourself take another step to sink against the wall behind you. Breathing still heavy, you looked up at Jungkook. Though his chest heaved too, cheeks slightly flushed under his dripping hair, he hadn’t moved an inch.
Only when you met his eyes, which had returned to their regular darkness, did he start, quickly marching away to grab water bottles from the corner of the room.
One flew in your direction. Just about managing to snatch it from the air, you took an eager sip. Now you had had time to catch your breath, a strange silence settled.
“How did it feel?”
Jungkook wasn’t even looking at you. He had made his way to the bottom of the staircase, and now leaned against them, apparently finding the floor very interesting.
Hesitantly, you made your way closer, following a step behind as he started climbing back to the main house.
“Yeah, my powers, they feel… it wasn’t painful,” you replied, “they’re like normal again.”
Jungkook nodded.
“You did good. Still, don’t push it.”
By then, you had reached the top of the stairs. After pausing for a moment, Jungkook awkwardly moved away to the kitchen, while you hung back to have a shower.
The odd tension that had clung to the space between you since training occupied your mind as the water flowed over you, reinvigorating your tired body. In a way, it was just like usual. You and Jungkook had never been comfortable around each other.
But then why did it feel odd now?
The training session had given you a taste of something different. For once, Jungkook hadn’t spent the time trying to antagonise you. Instead, you had a real chance to push yourself.
It was probably the fact that, after so long without using your powers, you simply missed feeling the rush of electricity. No matter if it was also because connecting with Jungkook's powers had felt so thrilling too.
That thought was gone as quickly as the water running over you. Outside the training room at least, you knew where you stood. And that was very, very far from Jungkook.
Which is why you were so perplexed when you reached the kitchen, and didn’t find it empty.
Pausing in the hallway, you honestly considered turning back around and leaving. Trust Jungkook to try and claim the kitchen since you were absent.
But you weren’t going to be deterred. You were hungry.
It was his fault anyway, for training you so hard, so you took a breath and pushed your damp hair behind your shoulder before striding into the space.
At first, you made your best attempt at keeping your chin up, confident while also acting as if you magically couldn’t see Jungkook at all. It was how you usually approached each other. Unfortunately, you couldn’t stop yourself from noticing that whatever he was making wasn’t going well.
Halfway through throwing your own ingredients onto the counter, you stopped to cast a sceptical eye over the mess he was making. He was making an equally good show of not noticing your presence, and continued throwing in random sauces, not before eyeing them all fairly hesitantly first.
Biting your lip, you shrugged it off and turned your eyes back to your own dinner.
But you could no longer ignore it when he took a taste from his spoon and quite literally recoiled.
Loudly putting your knife down, you sighed in frustration.
“Do you want some help?”
Quickly straightening out his face from the way it had been screwed up from the taste, he blinked around at you. He really did look surprised at your presence.
You rolled your eyes, marching over to him and peering into his pan.
“What are you making?”
Folding his arms across his chest, you could hear the pout in his voice as he replied.
“Tteokbokki.”
You stared. At the food, which certainly did not resemble tteokbokki, and then at Jungkook.
“No you’re not.”
“I am! Jin always makes it like this!”
“Maybe when he’s making something for his science experiments,” you scoffed.
Defiant, Jungkook reached for his packet of soft rice cakes, totally ignoring you. You had to lunge across the counter to save them from a grizzly fate in that pan of definitely not tteokbokki.
Deep down, he clearly agreed with you, because he didn’t protest all that much as you forcibly removed the pan from the stove, depositing the whole mess in the bin.
“This is how you’ve been eating?”
Jungkook looked a little startled, his eyes wide for a moment before he managed to resurrect his scowl.
“We ran out of ramen,” he muttered.
You stared at him in disbelief. Had no one taught him to cook?
“What would Jin say?” you huffed, returning to the stove and elbowing him out the way.
Before long, you had your own meal cooking, now with some extra added. After a few moments, Jungkook had skulked away, watching you silently from the table. Once again, you pretended not to pay him any mind.
Two steaming bowls of (actually edible) food eventually made it to the table.
Sitting down opposite him, neither of you began for a moment. Each of you was waiting for the other to do something.
When at last you reached for your chopsticks, the sound was deafening against the strained silence between you.
Perhaps Jungkook was encouraged to see you didn’t drop dead after taking a bite, because he finally started to eat as well. Not that you let yourself look at him beyond the odd brief glance. You kept your attention firmly on the meal, which was actually quite tasty if you did say so yourself.
“Thanks.”
You nearly jumped out of your skin, eyes shooting up to stare at Jungkook. He stopped mid-bite, big eyes returning your bewildered gaze as if he had no idea who had spoken.
You blinked. Clearing your throat, you averted your gaze again, picking at your food.
“No problem.”
“It’s nearly as good as Jin’s,” he drawled next.
Disbelieving, you swallowed your next bite and raised your eyebrows.
“Are you seriously trying to come for me after I gave you food?”
“That’s a compliment!” he defended.
“Sure.”
“Fine,” he huffed, attacking his food a bit more aggressively.
Taking a breath, you chewed your lip. Jungkook took a bite with more force than strictly necessary, brows furrowed. Maybe he had really meant it in a nice way?
You had trouble believing that, somehow.
“It’s a hell of a lot better than yours would have been,” you grumbled, then paused. “but… I suppose Jin is a very good chef.”
For a moment, Jungkook didn’t reply. But he finished chewing and set his chopsticks down a bit more gently.
“Why would I have to practise cooking when he’s always here to do it?” he murmured.
Deciding for once to take the opportunity to ease the situation, you smiled.
“I don’t blame you.”
Both of you allowed a temporary ceasefire to settle as you cleared your plates. You didn’t miss Jungkook’s glance towards the little black receiver standing on the table.
With the frequency of operations at the moment, it was clear Namjoon classed the whole situation with Bolt as an emergency. Jungkook hadn’t been wrong – Jin was usually there, or one of the others, to cook. As much as it still surprised you that he was so clueless, you saw that prying was going to get you nowhere.
He wasn’t the only one that missed the others, though. Or hoped they were okay.
You leaned over and turned the receiver on.
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Thank you for reading! I really mean it, it's wonderful now I'm finally sharing this story to hear what you guys think as we go through it!! I appreciate every last one of you who comments💜💜
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lillaydee · 26 days ago
Text
In Time Part 4
Rancher Joel Miller / Reader
You lost your dear Uncle. Your TV Star boyfriend dumped you. You needed a job. You got one at a ranch in Wyoming. Where you met Joel. A very grumpy man. Grumpy man has issues.
WARNINGS:
Grumpy Joel, Hurt Joel, Grieving Joel, Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Joel Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (The Last of Us), Mentions of Hostage Situation and Shooting, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Mutual Pining, Fluff and Angst
SERIES MASTER LIST
Part 3
---
***Warning*** Description of a hostage situation and gun violence ahead
You were shocked, to say the least. You knew her mother and Sarah had passed in the same tragedy but to say she was the reason Sarah died?
“Ellie… may I ask why you think that?”
“I don’t think it, I know it,” she said, so matter of fact in mannerism you felt bad for her. Was she fed this idea, or did she really believe this?
“What do you mean?”
“My mom and I used to live further up the road from the ranch, she was a teacher at my school. Like Penny. Usually, Penny would take Sarah to school with her and back, but that day, Penny had to take a student to the hospital. But Sarah had a riding lesson that day, so my mom offered to drop her off on our way back.” She lifted the pop tart dejectedly at you, and broke a small piece off, staring at it. “We ran out of pop tarts. And I really wanted some. So we stopped at the store to get them.”
Her voice quivered slightly at this, but then she took a deep breath and continued. “When those men asked us all to sit together, there was this lady who had trouble sitting, she had a cast on her leg, and a crutch. So my mom helped her. The men yelled at this lady to hurry up and sit down and my mom told them she’s trying, please don’t scare everyone like that. And they just shot my mom and the lady. Just like that. I screamed for my mom, I wanted to get to her, but Sarah held me back. And one of the men turned his gun on me, and Sarah pushed me to the side. I fell. She got shot instead.”
Tears were falling off her cheeks, but her face was stoic. You were doing everything you could not to sob, not to lose it. This girl saw her mother and her friend gunned down in succession. You pulled her into a tight hug, more to comfort yourself than her, if you’re being honest. You were so close to losing it.
When you let go, she smiled at you through her tears. “He’s just sad, and he needed someone to be mad at. It’s not fair. Parents should never bury their children. And he had to, because his little girl tried to save me, because we were in a store full of armed fugitives because I wanted pop tarts, and because I wouldn’t stay still when she asked me to.” She wiped her face with her hands. “It was a lot worse when Tess and Penny first took me in, he’s much better now. It’ll be okay,” she said, looking very much resigned to the situation.
“Ellie, sweetie, it’s not your fault. Bad things happen, and we have no control over them. Please don’t carry this on your shoulders. You’re too young, you should enjoy your childhood. And he definitely shouldn’t be treating you like that.”
“I know, Doc,” she said, smiling. “I am aware, I am seeing a therapist. I have accepted it. But Joel is having a hard time, and I think part of me accepting what happened includes letting him vent. He won’t hurt me. Trust me. He’s a good guy. Still is. He takes care of me in his own way. He just couldn’t bring himself to see me the way he used to. Sarah was like a big sister to me. I followed her around like a puppy. I guess, seeing me around reminds him Sarah is no longer here. He’ll come around. I believe that. I have to.”
You felt yourself liking this girl more and more. How was she this mature? At her age you were still sulking when Benny refused to get you a real tube of lipstick, convinced that he didn’t love you anymore. And here she was, still a chirpy 14-year-old, despite everything she had seen and had to carry.
The pop tarts laid cold and floppy on your plates. You asked Ellie if she was still hungry. She nodded. You told her you have just the thing – a secret recipe. But only special people got to eat them. And it must be offered, never asked for. Capisce? She nodded heartily, her face lighting up.
You went to your small kitchen and took out a sourdough. You asked her to cut two very thick slices while you got your jar of secret ingredient and some berries from the fridge. You slathered the secret ingredient all over both sides of the sourdough slices, and toasted them on a pan, slathering some more while they were toasting. Once done, you left them to cool a bit, cutting the bigger berries into smaller pieces, before squirting some whipped cream on the toasts, topped them off with the berries and drizzled some of the secret ingredient on top. You took one, and gave her the other one, ‘clinked’ them together and took a bite.
Ellie’s eyes closed in a daze of sweetness, saltiness, sourness, and bitterness that all came from the same bite.
“OWHMAGHAWD…” she spluttered; her eyes still closed. “MMHMMM…. Uhuh... uhuh… yeah…” She didn’t manage to get a word out until the whole thing was gone. You reacted the same way the first time Benny made them for you. She only managed to speak after she had licked her fingers and plate clean. She took a deep breath. “What was in that jar? THAT was definitely worth the tears. Oh. My. God!”
“Hu’uh. It’s a secret. My Uncle Benny used to make them for me whenever I was sad.”
“Well, your Uncle Benny was a genius. That would certainly shoo sadness away. Fucking hell…”
“Hey, language!”
She rolled her eyes at you, before looking at you in contemplation.
“You said that thing must be offered, never asked for.” You nodded, raising one eyebrow at her while she finished her thoughts. “What would happen if one asked for one of those?”
“Then they will be banned from ever eating one again. Forever.”
“God your accent made that word sounds so cool! Fo Evah!”
You smacked her with the dish towel playfully. The two of you hung out for the rest of the day. You walked her back home, and by the time you got back, you were glad you could make her laugh, even if it cost you most of your jar of secret ingredient.
---
Something shifted in Joel when you acted the way you did to him saying those things to Ellie. Tess, Penny, Tommy, Maria, Bill, Frank, his parents, had all said something to him every time they saw him treat Ellie that way, and yet he never took heed. But when you put yourself between him and Ellie, as if you were afraid that he was going to physically hurt her, something that had never even crossed his mind, it gave him pause. Did you think he was capable of something like that? And then there’s the way you looked at him. You, this stranger who had known Ellie for less than two days, spent a couple of hours at the most with her, saw him as a threat, and looked at him with such disappointment at the way he spoke to her, despite him not raising his voice at her. He felt judged. You didn’t think of him as a good guy. The thought of it made him crumble inside.  
See, the thing was, everyone had always chastised him for acting that way to Ellie, but they knew him inside out, even Ellie. They knew he was just venting, that he had issues, that he was hurting. They knew he wouldn’t hurt her. They knew he was a good guy. They loved him anyway. But you? You didn’t know him from Adam. All you saw was a jerk who was endlessly rude to you, and a bully who targeted a 14-year-old orphan. You definitely didn’t love him.
Did he want you to love him? He shouldn’t care, right?
But he did.
So, he headed for your cabin, determined to apologize, and make things better. But before he could even get on the deck, he heard Ellie’s voice from inside, telling you what happened that horrendous day. He’d heard this before, of course, but what he hadn’t heard, ever, was Ellie defending him to you. Telling you she understood why he was acting that way, that she didn’t think he was a bad guy.
That floored him.
Ellie, of all people, was defending him.
He had never felt so low.
He had tried to be less harsh with her, but it was like the attitude took over, like he was on cruise control. He often regretted saying the shit he said to her immediately but didn’t know how to shift to reverse. He told Tess this once.
“You don’t reverse, Joel. You shift back to neutral, and then start over.”
He heard you and Ellie laughing and joking around inside. He shouldn’t get in your way.
He’ll have to figure out how to start over.
---
About two weeks into your stay at the ranch, you picked up your ringing phone to the yelling of a very excited Ellie. Look outside Doc! Welcome to Wyoming!
It snowed. Everywhere you see, it was white. You felt like a child again. You had never seen this much snow in your life. Benny hated the cold. So your vacations had never involved snow. You were so excited you had to force yourself to calm down and get ready for work before you launched yourself outside like a loose cannon. Get ready for work. You could be excited for the snow later.
But by the time you got to your office, you had changed your mind about snow. You really were Benny’s niece. It had started snowing again by the time you finished getting ready and had breakfast, flurries of wet snow pelting you like tiny arrows as you walked the hundred yards to your office. You walked in with snow all over your clothes, your boots, your hair, your neck, and some even managed to get inside your clothes, despite you wrapping up. Your distaste for it must have shown, Frank laughing himself silly helping you brush everything off and immediately putting the kettle on for you. You had to buy one of those for the office since they only had a microwave, and microwaving water for a cup of tea was a sacrilege as far as you’re concerned.
“How many more days of snow do we have?”
“Erm, first day of snow. A few more months of this, honey.”
“Fuck.”
“It gets better. You get used to it.”
“Fuck that. I’m staying indoors until spring comes.”
Frank laughed, pouring the hot water into your thermal mug and placing your teabag in it for you. He had taken the liberty of learning just how you liked your tea, even making himself one sometimes, whenever he wanted to feel posh, he said. You had to order more tea since he had taken to stealing them from you to bring home. You hoped they would arrive soon. With how cold it was there you were running out fast.
You stayed indoors that day, doing paperwork and checking the inventory. Thank God no one called in for anything. You had no idea how you would fare on your first full snow day if you had to go outside. You were pretty cool headed and mellow, but once in a while, when your grumpy side showed up, you could rival The Miller Grumpus.
Who, by the way, you had managed to avoid for the most part. You had breakfast and dinner alone at home and had lunch with Maria and Tess or Frank and Bill. You didn’t ignore him, exactly, but didn’t seek him out, or engage with him – you didn’t need to. But there was one thing you noticed.
He hadn’t said anything rude to Ellie since that day at the stable.
Somehow, he had just… let her be. You were checking one of the horses one time, Ellie giving Shimmer some attention, when Joel rode back in with Callus. He didn’t say anything to Ellie, who had frozen in place when he rode in. He simply took his jacket off, and began untacking the stallion without saying anything, and left after. Ellie was so flabbergasted she had to ask you if you saw that – if that really happened. Even you were shocked. Bill just looked stumped. Frank asked you about it the next day as if it was a juicy piece of gossip. And maybe it was. This just in. Joel Miller wasn’t an asshole to Ellie.
Before you went home that day, you went to the woodshed, wanting to bring extra wood home in case it got really cold that night. Snow was still falling, although not as bad as it was that morning. You were too absorbed by your squelching boots and snow on your neck to notice it was Joel who was chopping firewood in the shed. Usually it was one of the younger lads doing that, or Bill. You placed your thermal mug on one of the wood stumps by the door, and walked in, grabbing the carrier off the hook to fill. When you finally realized it was him, it was because he stopped chopping when you came in.
It was like you saw him for the first time.
God, he looked good – his jacket was off, and he was covered in sweat, his flannel sticking to his rather well-built body. You wondered what that body would look like chopping wood. Would the muscles flex? As soon as that thought entered your mind, you were horrified. Oh God, did you really just think Mr. Grumpy looked good? You turned your back on him and started filling the carrier, feeling a bit flustered at the thought that he was just standing there staring at you as you did that. As you pulled the third or fourth piece of wood down from the stack, the wood shifted slightly and another piece fell, almost hitting you in the shin. You jumped back.
“Here, let me do that for you.”
He walked towards you to help, and wedged the heavy looking axe he was holding on a stump without looking at it, having done it a million times before, and a clanging sounded. You both turned around to look.
Your thermal mug was on the floor, an obvious cut on it, rendering it useless.
You picked it up, the lid smashed to bits, half of the mug was cloven, the axe firmly wedged on the stump where the mug once sat.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t see it there.”
You knew he didn’t do it on purpose. But your eyes filled with tears without you meaning them to be. You had used this mug since you were in your teens. Benny bought it for you. You had your morning tea in this mug with him. It travelled around the world with you.
“Amelia, I am so sorry, I’ll replace it. I’m so sorry. Please believe me. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know it was there.” He sounded sincere, apologetic, horrified.
You gave him a small smile and said it’s okay, Mr Miller. I know you didn’t mean it. You picked up the pieces of the lid, and quickly walked back to the cabin, not wanting him to see you cry, the wood left forgotten in its carrier.
You kept the pieces. You couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of them. And the next time you went to town, you couldn’t bring yourself to replace it.
When you left to go to work the next day, you saw that someone had filled your wood box, and stacked a bunch of wood next to it.
---
One whole week of snow and you sort of saw what Frank meant about getting used to them. You didn’t mind them as much, although you wouldn’t call yourself a fan either. With Christmas coming in a week, Tess had asked you if you were going anywhere for the holidays. You said no. Nowhere to go, really. She asked if you were sure. You could come with her if you’d prefer. Everyone was leaving, it seemed, save for a few local workers, none of whom lived on site. She and Penny were taking Ellie to Penny’s family, Tommy and Maria to Maria’s family, Bill and Frank to Frank’s sister’s, Mrs Adler to her son’s, so you would be alone. You didn’t mind that, though, you said. Some quiet time would be nice.
“With Joel,” she finished.
Apparently, his parents and friends were going on a cruise for the holidays. So he would be here. On the property. With you. Alone.
You chose not to respond. You asked if she could take you to town, instead, so you could do some shopping since they would all be gone for a week or so. You didn’t have a car, and you really didn’t feel like asking Mr Grumpy to drive you to town in case you needed something.
Maria and Penny joined you on that trip to town. You had a list with you, but somehow you felt off. Like you had forgotten something. What was it? What did you forget to buy? It felt important. Lifesaving, it felt like. But for the life of you, you couldn’t think what it was you needed.
You noticed that Penny was shopping for groceries too, so you asked her if she was bringing groceries back to her family’s. No, she said, laughing slightly. These are for Joel. You cocked your head slightly, wondering why she had to do his shopping for him. What, you asked, he couldn’t do that himself?
“He hasn’t stepped foot in this store since the hostage situation.”
Shit. You felt like an ass. Of course. His daughter died here. You wouldn’t be comfortable coming back either. Idiot.
When you got back to the ranch, there were a few packages waiting for you at the office. One was your much needed tea, one was something you ordered for Ellie, and one huge package for the chow hall. You made Tess promise not to open it. You were all gathering the next night to exchange gifts before everyone left, and since you didn’t know anyone well enough to get them individual gifts, you decided to get something you thought everyone would enjoy together.
That night, the ladies invited you to join them and Frank for a drink at the local watering hole, The Tipsy Bison. You were merrily laughing with everyone, enjoying the live band, feeling like you belonged. They introduced you around, it seemed everyone knew everyone there. You hadn’t been there long when Tommy, Joel and Bill came in. Tommy and Bill joined your table, while Joel went to the bar.
A lady from the group at the next table approached him and said a friendly hello. They knew each other, it seemed. He didn’t look like he didn’t like her company, his face less grumpy than usual. You turned your attention back to the table when Tommy asked you something, but you couldn’t help yourself from diverting your eyes back to them. The lady stood closer and closer to him, eventually touching shoulders with him, and caressing his arm and thigh.
Tess and Maria noticed. They used to be a thing, they told you. Not a couple, but they hooked up a few times when Sarah was still a toddler. She got impatient with his lack of interest with commitment and married someone else. She’s freshly divorced now, they said.
Why they thought you would want to know this, you have no idea. No idea at all.
The lady returned to her table not long after. From what you could gather, he was just not interested. Not even for a hook up, for old time’s sake. They went on gossiping about him, wondering if he had someone already. No way, the lady said. That man didn’t do relationships. His life was for Sarah, and now that she’s gone, she thought he’d be interested, but apparently not. You didn’t see her face, obviously, since you were not actually paying attention to their discussion, but she didn’t sound too happy about his refusal.  
Not that you were listening to their conversation. Or interested, for that matter.
You got up to get yourself another drink. The bartender, Andy, apparently, had heard of you. You and Frank had helped his father’s horse with an infected wound a couple of weeks back, one of your first house calls. You chatted with him a little, asking him how the horse was doing, how his father was, and his grandma, you believe? The feisty lady who kept trying to feed you more cake? He laughed, nodding along, telling you about her antics, always with the belief that everyone was underfed. You spent a few minutes chatting and laughing with him before taking your drink and paying, which he declined. You pouted at him playfully and made a show of putting the money in his tip jar. Joel was staring at him, his face like thunder. Okay, Mr Grumpy was back. When you got back to your table, the ladies at the next table were staring at you, eyeing you up and down. You ignored them, used to being stared at for being a new face around here. You sat back down, took a sip, and settled to enjoy the live band’s next set.
Everyone at the table was staring at you.
“What?”
They all shook their heads, looking at one another, a sly smile on their faces. You took a chip and ate it and began swaying in your seat as the band played a song, singing along every now and again.
You didn’t notice Joel’s eyes on you.
Nor the soft expression on his face when he saw you sway and sing along.
Joel didn’t notice his family’s eyes on him, watching you.
---
Part 5
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narnian-neverlander · 2 years ago
Text
In Whatever Way [Adam Warlock x GN!Reader]
Plot Summary: When he unknowingly tests your patience, you snap at Adam and say something you immediately regret.
Word Count: 5,1k
Warnings: Guardians 3 spoilers, talk about canon typical violence, cursing, slight injury & mention of blood, bit of angst, hurt & comfort, idiots in love, author being a sucker for the ‘oh. oh.’ moment of realization trope
A/N: Kind of a follow up to this one, but can absolutely be read as a stand alone
I have exactly one complaint and that’s Adam not having Will’s freckles (for obvious bodypaint reasons), so I went ahead and fixed that 💁
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If someone had told you a year ago that a Sovereign would become your favorite person in the galaxy, you would’ve laughed in their face and then put a bullet in between their eyes for good measure. But life’s got a twisted sense of humor sometimes.
That first night after the defeat of the High Evolutionary, it’d been way too messy and hectic to find Adam a place of his own, so you’d dropped him off at your tiny apartment, very specifically told him to stay put and to not touch anything, and then headed out again in search of food and some clothes. You’d found those, but alongside them, you’d also found the furry F’Saki Adam had basically adopted. He’d looked about as lost as his owner, so you’d tucked the little guy under your arm and had taken him with you. Arriving back at your home, you’d discovered Adam curled up on your bed, fast asleep. The F’Saki had immediately scurried out from your grasp, made himself comfortable at Adam’s legs and had started snoring almost right after. You’d stood in the middle of your room, still in your dirty, torn uniform and bone tired, a young Sovereign and his pet passed out on your bed and had actually stopped to wonder how on earth your life had gotten to that point.
Not seeing a reason for staying any longer, you’d decided you might as well go out and get blissfully blackout drunk with your friends. Leaving a note with the change of clothes and food, you’d turned towards the entrance to find Nebula standing in your doorway. She’d scanned the situation she’d walked in on very carefully and then had simply raised slender, judgmental brows at you. You’d shooed her out, gently closing the door behind you, and had reminded her that ‘Adopting strays that’ve tried to kill us is kinda our thing; didn’t think I’d need to tell you of all people.’
Ever since that night, Adam had been virtually glued to your side. It’d been a bit strange and uncomfortable at first; you weren’t used to always having company, much less that of a Sovereign. There’d most definitely been an adjustment period with quite a few mishaps, one of which had ended with him in the med-bay with a bloody nose after he’d scared the ever living daylights out of you while you’d been testing the upgrades Rocket had made to your gauntlets - you’d apologized profusely for the rest of that day. Over time though, it had become apparent that he meant you no harm, nor did he have any ill will, he simply wished to repay the kindness you’d shown him when he’d felt he had no one looking out for him anymore.
And despite the fact that his golden skin and hair, his engineered-to-be-perfect face and body and his manner of speaking reminded you of his heritage everyday, you’d found it increasingly easy to ignore the fact that he was part of the species responsible for so much pain in your life. Of course, it wouldn’t be fair to hold him accountable for actions committed by his people long before he was even born. But it wasn’t just that, Adam was simply… different from the rest of the Sovereign. He might’ve been created to be perfect, but he was far from it: He was only just understanding his own limits, landing him in situations that had him in over his head more often than not. He could be arrogant and quick to anger over the smallest details. He only liked learning things if they came to him easy, but grumpily and quickly dropped the ones that didn’t. But there was always an underlying innocent curiosity and kindness in his actions; in the way he’d so effortlessly bonded with the rescued animals he was now taking care of. In the way he always immediately offered assistance, no matter how menial the task. In the way he’d taken such an interest in any and all earth things, simply because they held special meaning to you. In the few months since he’d come into your life, he’d captivated you so completely, had gotten you to care for him so deeply and truly, it even shocked yourself at times still. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.
There is however still one topic of conversation that never seems to get easier and that’s his late mother, Ayesha. High priestess and figurehead of the crusade against your kind; all because of shapeshifting abilities you never even asked for. You’re very well aware of the fact that, before he became a part of the Guardians, she was the only family Adam had. That he’d cared for her very much, he still does, it’s obvious in the way he talks about her. And usually you let him talk, for his sake; to let him grieve by sharing stories about the loved one he lost. But today’s been exhausting, to say the least. You’ve been up since the crack of dawn and nothing seems to work out the way it’s supposed to. At the moment, you’re down somewhere in the bowels of Knowhere, courtesy of a broken filtration system. And since your resident genius raccoon mechanic is off world with Groot and you aren’t half bad with machines, the honor of trying to fix it had gone to you. You’d been down there for hours now, though, and aren’t making any real progress. Adam had joined you a little while back, and while you usually welcome his company, he’s picked a particularly bad day to select his mother as a topic of conversation. Your nerves are frayed, your patience running thin, but you hold your tongue, choosing to only answer in occasional hums of acknowledgement to confirm that you’re listening. That works out just fine right up until the moment he says “You remind of her, actually.”
The wrench you’re currently using almost slips from your sweaty palms as you bristle and hiss “Don’t ever say that again.” His answer is immediate and while you’re not looking at him, you can hear the genuine confusion in his voice. “Why not? It’s the truth.” The more rational part of you knows he means it as a compliment - but that part seems to have taken the day off. You swallow the rising bile in your throat before you reply with “I am nothing like that vile woman. Don’t compare me to her again, do you understand?” You’ve quite obviously hit a nerve, as you hear him rise from his seated position on some debris and when he speaks again the confusion in his voice has given way to anger. “My mother was not vile, take that back!”
You mumble “Maybe not to you…” more to yourself than anything else as you busy yourself with the repairs, absolutely not in the mood for this conversation, but he hears anyways. “I don’t care what you might think of her; she loved me!” A bark of laughter escapes you before you can stop it, bitter and cruel. “Please, maybe she loved what you were supposed to be; the ultimate weapon, the next step in their precious perfect evolution, but you failed that spectacularly. And even that’s pushing it!” The bolt you’ve been trying to loosen seems to have gotten stuck even worse as you aggressively throw your whole weight down on the wrench’s handle, any and all social courtesies you’ve kept up around Adam in regards to this particular topic going right out the window. “But don’t take that personally; Sovereign just aren’t capable of love, it’s as simple as - FUCK!!” The bolt finally gives way, sending you face first into one of the pipes of the machinery. Pulling back with a pained hiss, you bring a hand to your throbbing forehead and let out a few more curses when it comes away bloody.
Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Two deep, slow breaths it takes for you to calm down. It takes two more for realization to hit and the regret that comes with it threatens to choke you on the spot. Adam’s gone deathly quiet and you’d honestly prefer if he lost his temper with you; that you could handle at least. You’re terrified of what you’ll find when you turn around, so you do so slowly and immediately wish you hadn’t at all.
Adam’s an awful liar; he wears his heart on his sleeve and his emotions always plain on his face for everyone to read. And right now? Even on that first night, when he’d been injured, scared and all alone, you don’t think he’d looked so completely and utterly heartbroken. His name has barely left your lips in a desperate plea when he turns and takes off, the golden glow of his powers vanishing around a corner and completely out of sight not a second later. There’s no point in going after him right now, you know that, he’s stubborn, especially when he’s upset - not that that helps you feel better about yourself in any capacity; you well and truly want to throw yourself out of the nearest airlock. With a heavy sigh, you pick up the discarded wrench from the floor, deciding to give the young Sovereign some space and quickly, haphazardly finish with your work instead.
By the time you leave the med-bay, a bandaid now covering the wound on your forehead, it’s been a good hour or two, so you make your way to Adam’s apartment, hesitantly knocking on the door. When there’s no answer, you peek through one of the small windows, but the room is empty except for Blurp curled up on the bed, snoring contently. You check the cantina next, then the complex where the animals had been set up. You check in with Kraglin and Cosmo, Drax and Phyla, and basically any residents of Knowhere that you come across - no one has seen the golden man since he went off to help you. Your search eventually brings you to the spaceport, where you find the Bowie freshly docked, Groot carrying crates down the loading ramp, Rocket on his shoulders. Considering you were running out of places to check that were actually on Knowhere and Adam didn’t need oxygen like the rest of you, you figure you might as well ask if they’d seen him somewhere in the general vicinity of the giant head while coming back.
“Rocket, have you seen Adam?” the question’s out of your mouth before you’ve even properly reached them and your furry friend doesn’t bother to look up from the data pad he’s studying as he scoffs “Nice to see you, too, (y/n). Yeah, me and Groot are fine, mission went great, thanks for asking; always touching to come home to such a warm welcome.” Mumbling out an apology you only half mean, you cross your arms over your chest and look at him expectantly. When he realizes you’re not gonna go away, he hooks the pad to his belt with a groan and looks at you, one elbow propped up against Groot’s head. “How the flarg would I know? Goldie’s attached to your hip, not mine.” You don’t wanna have to get into details right now, so you settle for “Usually, sure. But I messed up, he ran off and now I can’t find him.” Rocket snorts, clearly not buying it. “The guy looks at you like you hung the friggin’ stars in the sky, what could you of all people have possibly done to piss him off that bad?” Drawing your bottom lip between your teeth, you avoid eye contact with him and busy yourself with a loose thread on your shirt instead. Details it is after all. “I… might’ve insulted his mother and told him I don’t believe Sovereign are capable of love.” The quiet lasts for all of half a second before Rocket starts cackling so hard, he goes tumbling off of Groot’s shoulders and ends up on the ground; clutching his stomach he’s almost howling in laughter and it makes heat shoot up to your face in both embarrassment and anger as you stomp your foot like a child throwing a tantrum. “Rocket this isn’t funny!!”
The raccoon struggles to his feet, one paw still on his knee as the other wipes at his eyes. “You’re right; it’s not. It’s hysterical! I mean… if that’s how you talk to a guy you’re actually into, I’d hate to see how you treat the ones you don’t like.” Brows furrowing in bewilderment, the complete change of topic makes you fumble for a moment as you ask “What… what the hell is that supposed to mean?” All traces of amusement vanish from Rocket’s face, jaw going slack as he stares at you and realizes you’re serious. He lets out a low whistle before he states “Wow. And here I thought the golden boy was clueless. At least he’s got some excuse, he ain’t been around the galaxy for all that long, but you? You can’t be for real.” You’re very quickly growing very tired of this conversation, so with a huff, you throw your hands up in exasperation. “Rocket, are you gonna stand here and give me riddles for the rest of the day or are you gonna help me?” Said help comes from the tree that’s been busy unloading the ship up until now. “I am Groot.” Your head snaps towards your teammate at the insinuation. “What tracker?” Now it’s Rocket’s turn to look embarrassed, a disappointed sigh and a long, drawn out version of his name leaving your lips. “I thought we talked about this ages ago; you can’t go putting trackers on people without their consent!” He doesn’t seem all that bothered by your outburst as he mocks “Oh boo hoo, y’all constantly whine about that right up until the moment it benefits you - like right now!” But he goes digging through one of the pockets on his belt anyway and holds out the small device he finds to you. Your anger more or less evaporates as you are yet again reminded that Rocket does care, in his own way. You kneel down to his level, take the tracker and give him a hug as you thank him - and just for good measure, press a long, disgusting kiss to his furry cheek as payback for laughing at your predicament. He scrambles out of your hold in obvious discomfort, gagging noises accompanying you as you take your leave, but as usual, he needs to have the last word, shouting “Save the smooches for Goldilocks!!” at your retreating figure.
Not even ten minutes later, you’re looking up at one of the tallest buildings in Knowhere. It’s an old, dilapidated communications tower that is long overdue for demolition; it’s all rusted metal and broken off, jagged edges, entirely impossible to climb without flight capabilities. Out of options, you helplessly check the tracker once more just to make sure that, yes, unfortunately he’s really up there, Rocket’s tech could be trusted on that and squinting up at the top you’re almost sure you see a glimmer of gold. You pocket the device with a shaky inhale and cup your hands around your mouth. “Adam!” you shout, even though you don’t really need to; he’s got enhanced senses, you’re certain he’d be able to hear you even if you whispered. “Adam, I know you’re up there, can you please come down?” Five seconds pass. Then ten. Then thirty. Nothing. “Listen, I know I messed up and I know you’re upset, but this isn’t gonna just go away, we need to talk about it!” A full minute of silence passes this time, dread and anxiety weighing down your shoulders more and more with each second that ticks by. When you speak again, you’re worried about your voice breaking, so it does come out as a whisper this time. “Adam, please. At least give me a chance to fix this.” Head hung low, you run both hands through your hair and over your face with an annoyed groan, upset with both his stubbornness and with yourself for having caused this mess in the first place. Thinking your attempt at a conciliation lost, you turn to leave and almost fall flat on your ass in shock when you find Adam standing there, arms crossed over his chest and glaring at you. “I do not wish to speak with you.”
“And you don’t have to, you just… have to listen for a moment, alright?” It takes him a few long, agonizing seconds to begrudgingly nod and you let out a relieved breath. Despite the hours you’d just spent searching for him, carefully laying out what you wanted to say, you’re drawing a blank at this very moment, but you try anyways. “Okay, look… I’m sorry about what I said earlier, I truly am.” When he scoffs in disbelief you reach for his hand, only to have him pull away, making your heart sink. Ever since he’d started experiencing things for himself and figuring out his likes and dislikes, it’d become clear quite quickly that Adam enjoyed physical affection, especially when you were the one to initiate it. He’d never turned it down - until now. How badly had you messed up?
“I mean that, Adam. It’s just that… I know Ayesha was your family and you miss her, but the person you knew her to be and the person I knew her to be are… quite contrasting. And I honestly don’t think there’s a way for me to reconcile both views with each other. I’ve let you talk about her because it seemed to make you happy, but you have to understand that it’s hard for me to hear praises about a person who was directly responsible for so much suffering and pain in my life. However, I also know that my experiences and rage… blind me, to a certain degree; lumping together all Sovereign isn’t fair, cause everybody’s their own person and can make their own choices, you’ve proven that.”
You can see the gears turning in his head, but he stays quiet and avoids looking at you all the same. You swallow hard around the lump that’s formed in your throat before you continue speaking. “Be that as it may, I also want you to know that you don’t have to accept my apology if you don’t want to.” His eyes are on you in a second and the hopeful tone in his voice when he says ‘I don’t?’ threatens to split your heart in two. “No, you don’t. I’m apologizing because it’s the right thing to do and because I feel absolutely awful about having hurt someone I care so much about. But if you feel that I’ve crossed a line, then…” Clearing your throat to keep your voice from breaking, you feel tears burning behind your eyes. “Then you’re under no obligation to accept it for my sake and I’ll have to live with that. I’ll give you some time to think about it.” Brushing past him, calls of your name fall on deaf ears as you leave, considering that’s just about all the emotional toll you’ll be able to take today.
A pillow tightly clutched to your chest, you’re curled up in bed not much later, tears still fresh on your cheeks. Honestly, you’re not sure why exactly you’re even crying. Because you’re sad at the prospect of having lost a friend? Because, despite of what you said, you wish he’d been less stubborn and just accepted your apology? Because you’re frustrated with yourself over how close you’d allowed the two of you to grow in the first place? It really doesn’t make sense to you. It had taken years for the rest of the Guardians to chip away at the walls you’d built around yourself so that they could squeeze inside, but Adam? A few months was all it had taken for him to get under your skin. For you to look forward to spending time with him everyday. For his laugh to become your favorite sound. For —
Your train of thought gets stopped dead in it’s tracks by a soft knock on your door, immediately followed by the scratching of tiny claws and an all too familiar whine. Wiping your palms over your eyes to get rid of the rest of the wetness staining your face, you scramble out of bed and make your way towards the entrance of your apartment. As expected, you find Adam and Blurp on the other side, the F’Saki slipping inside like he owns the place as soon as he’s able. He makes himself comfortable on the foot of your bed and looks at both of you expectantly, all bright eyes and perked ears. A setup like this normally means movie night, a little tradition you’d started to help Adam get a hold on as many customs as possible while still having fun and not actually throwing him into social interactions that would make everybody involved uncomfortable. For all intents and purposes, with the dim lighting in your room, the messy bed and Adam on your doorstep in his usual sleeping getup of sweatpants and a tank top, it does look like that’s what’s about to happen, you can’t blame the little guy for misinterpreting. Dragging your gaze back to the golden man at your doorstep, you’re surprised to find he doesn’t look half as exhausted as you feel. Matter of fact, this is the calmest and most determined you’ve seen him all day.
“May I come in?” You step aside to let him, gently closing the door behind you both with a quiet click. “I’ve thought about what you told me earlier and I think I’ve come to a conclusion on what I must do.” Dreading what comes out of his mouth next, you can’t seem to muster up the strength to look at him and keep your eyes downcast, only for his hands to enter your field of view and grab hold of your own. “I need to apologize to you.” Your head snaps up to find that he’s completely serious and barely manage to stutter out an incredibly intelligent ‘Huh?’
Adam lightly squeezes your hands when he continues. “Up until you pointed it out, it never occurred to me how the topic of my mother, my people might make you feel. Unintentional or not, my actions hurt someone I care about and I don’t like how it makes me feel. Apologizing is what I should do in that case, correct?” You wrangle with yourself for a second, but then squeeze back gratefully. “Yes, that’s right, and I’m thankful that’s the conclusion you came to, but… Adam, you couldn’t have known. I never said anything about it, instead I let my negative emotions fester and grow until I couldn’t take it anymore and it all came out in the worst way possible. If anything, we’re both a little to blame for this.” Pausing to take a deep breath, you continue with the question you really want answered, even though you’ve got a pretty good idea already. “So… does that mean we’re okay? You’re not upset with me and want me out of your life?” You watch his eyes grow wide in shock and his hands move up to your shoulders to settle there with a firm grip. “Is that what you were afraid of? Why you’ve been crying?” Shrugging as best as you can, you mumble “Kind of? You seemed so angry with me, I just thought I’d crossed a line there was no coming back from and it made me sad, so—“ The sentence stays unfinished as Adam envelops you in a bone crushing hug, even lifting you off the ground a little.
“(y/n), you’re the best thing that’s happened to me since I came into this world and I don’t even want to think about what my life would be like without you in it.” he says, face buried in the crook of your neck and you’re glad for it as you feel heat rising all the way to the top of your ears. Hugging him back just as tight, you reply “I don’t want to think about my life without you in it anymore, either.” Content just being in each other’s arms, you stay like that for a bit, until he breaks the comfortable silence with a quiet call of your name as he carefully puts you back on your feet, to which you respond with a hum of acknowledgment. “Do you really think me incapable of love?” And just like that, the feeling of wanting to throw yourself out an airlock returns; frantically stringing together the word ‘No!’ about ten times as you pull back to properly look at him. “No, of course I don’t, that was just… When people are angry, they’ll sometimes say and do things they don’t actually mean. But I swear I don’t think that about you, how could I? You’re proving the opposite every day.”
“I am?” he questions, brows furrowed, confusion and doubt clear as day and you can’t help but laugh softly as you go to cup his handsome face between your palms. “Oh my sweet Adam, do you really not see it?” Bringing his own hands to lightly hold your wrists, he sighs. “I wasn’t created to love. I was created to kill. To destroy. To bring pain and misery. So when you said that, I was… I am scared you might be right.” Gently running your thumbs over his cheeks, you simply look at your golden boy for a mere moment. The last rays of the artificial sunlight filtering in through your blinds cast him in a beautiful glow; eyes warm like honey, skin glittering like stars and the pattern of slightly darker golden, coppery spots over his nose and cheeks, an imperfection akin to freckles you’re still surprised they let him keep, all the more prominent. Of course he’s capable of love, he has to be. Surely, you wouldn’t fall for someone who wouldn’t be able to—
Oh.
Oh.
So that’s what that prick of a raccoon had been talking about. With the benefit of hindsight, it honestly baffles you it had taken this long for the other shoe to drop. Adam calling your name is what kicks your brain back into functioning after that epiphany; you blink and shake your head a little before responding. “Sorry, I was just… never mind. Do you… do you really not see how your everyday actions show love?” His eyes flick between yours as he considers your words and then settles on “I’m… not entirely certain what love is supposed to look or feel like.”
“Oh dear, uhm…” you’re unsure if you’ll be able to explain that to him properly, but you’ll be damned if you don’t at least try. “Well… there’s many different forms of love. All similar, but slightly different in some ways. But overall it’s… to deeply care for another being, I guess? When being with them brings you joy? When you want to see them safe and happy? And even though you might wish for that happiness to be with you, it’ll be fine if it’s not cause they matter more to you than yourself.” Your hands have wandered to the base of his neck, fingers buried in the short hair as he cocks his head to the side in thought. “Like you and the rest of the Guardians let Peter Quill and Mantis go on their own paths even though it made you sad to see them go?” Grinning, you nod in confirmation. “Exactly. And the way you took it upon yourself to take care of the animals we saved? The way you adopted Blurp, in spite of what your mother wanted, cause you felt he was sad and lonely? How you went out of your way to make sure I felt comfortable around you? All of that means you care. All of that are ways of showing love.” It’s obvious he’s trying real hard to comprehend everything you’ve just explained to him, but it a lot, so you continue with “Love is one of the most simple and basic emotions in most beings. But navigating it and differentiating between it’s different forms can be difficult - for everyone. There’s no rush though, you can take all the time in the world to figure it all out for yourself. I promise you have nothing to worry about, you’re perfectly fine, okay?”
Adam brings one of his hands from your waist up to cup your cheek and smiles when you lean into his touch. This is what he’d been trying to tell you earlier, when he’d compared you to his mother: He trusts you completely, your judgement, too. You make him feel at peace like no one else in the universe. “Okay.” he replies and you return his smile, just barely containing the urge to pepper kisses over his pretty face and -
Yeah you’re gonna have to deal with this particular mess of emotions sooner rather than later.
The tender moment gets interrupted by Blurp whining at you two, impatiently hopping from one paw to another on the foot of your bed. “It would appear Blurp insists on a movie night. If you feel like it?” you chuckle and Adam happily agrees. So you set up everything as usual and settle on a lighthearted family comedy to watch. But the day’s been long, exhausting and emotionally draining; try as you might your eyes keep drifting shut and you’re out cold ten minutes into the movie.
The golden man jumps a bit when there’s a slight thump against his shoulder, only to find you fast asleep. His focus now on you instead of the movie, tender fingers ghosting over the bandaid on your forehead in concern, he thinks about what you’ve just told him. About what love was supposed to feel like and it dawns on him that yes, the warmth that spreads through his chest all the way down to his feet when you do as little as smile at him must be love. And yet when he’s with you it’s… different from what it felt like to be with his mother or to be with Blurp or the rest of the Guardians. It irks him to not be able to properly discern what makes you special; you’d said there were different forms of love, but how was he supposed to understand the difference?
As you curl into his side more, one arm coming across his chest to hug him and his name subconsciously falling from your lips in a barely audible, sleepy mumble, he realizes it doesn’t matter, nor does he really care, at least not right this moment. For now, it’s enough for him to be certain of the fact that he loves you and you love him - in whatever way.
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sequinsmile-x · 15 days ago
Text
All I Want for Christmas
Christmas Eve with the Hotchners.
-x-
Hi besties,
One last bit of Christmas fluff for you lovely lot this year. This really is just pure, family fluff and our favs having a typical Christmas eve with their family.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, and happy mid-week to those who don't. I hope you have a wonderful couple of days no matter what you do and what you celebrate <3
As always, let me know what you think <3
-x-
Warnings: None
Words: 2.1k
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
Malls had freaked her out ever since the case with Katie Jacobs. Especially when she was in one with her children, the memory of all the places a little kid could hide, or be hidden, making a shiver run down her spine every time she thought about it. It didn’t help that Aaron wasn’t here with them, that she was on her own and thinking of every terrible thing that could happen to Jack, Hazel and Oliver, but he was on his way. 
The jet had landed back in DC all of 45 minutes ago, and he’d called and told her he’d come and meet her at the mall. He’d sounded tired, worn down by whatever horrors he and the team had seen when they were away. She told him they could just meet him at home, that he didn’t need to come and wait in line with her so the kids could meet some random guy dressed as Santa, but he’d insisted. 
This kind of thing, the achingly normal parts of being a parent and part of a family, were as important to him as they were to her. The extraordinary ordinariness of it all made her emotional sometimes. Love and joy filling the space in her chest that she thinks must have always been waiting for them. Waiting for the man she loves and his son who would one day be hers, and the little girl and boy who would follow.  It was beautiful and hers and everything she never thought she’d get. 
Which is exactly why even though her feet hurt from standing in line for so long on Christmas Eve, and her back hurt from holding Oliver on her hip since she’d lifted him out of the car, she was able to find the joy in waiting in line at the mall for her kids to see Santa. 
Oliver grumbles in Emily’s arms and rubs his face against her neck. She hums and turns to kiss the 10-month-old’s forehead, “I know sweet boy,” she says, kissing him again, “It’s almost nap time, huh?” 
Hazel turns to look at her, her hand still wrapped up in Jack’s where they were standing barely a foot in front of her, “Mommy, I’m bored.” 
“I know, baby,” she says, Emily smiles at the absolute weariness in her four-year-old’s voice and she adjusts her hold on Oliver, so she can run fingers through the little girl’s dark hair as she looks at the line ahead of them and slightly too enthusiastic elves at the front, “But it’s almost our turn.” 
“Santa has a lot of people to talk to,” Jack says, winking at Emily before he turns his attention to his little sister, “It’s only fair everyone gets to talk to him.” 
One evening, back in November, Jack had announced to his parents that he knew Santa wasn’t real. He’d delighted in being in on the secret as much as they’d been sad that he was, a strange mix of sadness spreading through them at the thought of their eldest growing up and pride because of the person he was becoming.
“Exactly,” Emily says, smiling at Jack, “It’s Christmas Eve,” she enthuses, looking back at her little girl, “He’s a busy guy.” 
“Emily!”
She turns at the sound of her husband’s voice and feels herself relax the moment she sees him walking towards them. She leans in to kiss him the moment he’s close enough, her lips stamped against his, “Speaking of busy guys.”
“Hi, sweetheart.” 
She can hear the weariness in his voice, the tiredness brought on by the job they once shared and coming so close to missing Christmas. She’d left the BAU when she had Hazel, something she had never regretted for a second, and she now led the Counterterrorism unit. She’d sent her team early and had her work phone tucked into her pocket in case of an emergency, but it was important to spend Christmas with her kids - especially when they were so young - because her parents had never really spent it with her. It was why she loved Christmas so much, because she saw it through the eyes of her children, the magic of it stronger than it had ever been as she watched them enjoy it too. 
Hazel throws herself at Aaron, excited to see her father after a few days apart, her apparent boredom now forgotten, “Daddy!” 
“Hi princess,” he says, hauling her up into his arms and kissing her cheek before he settles her onto his hip, “Are you excited to see Santa?” 
She nods, “He’s very busy but it’s almost our turn.” 
He smiles and ruffles Jack’s hair, his smile getting wider when he tries to doge his father’s affection, “Hi buddy.” 
“Merry Christmas Eve, Dad.” 
Aaron then leans in to kiss Oliver’s forehead, “Hi Ollie,” he furrows his brow when Oliver grumbles and leans in closer to Emily, his tiny hand tangled up in her necklace. Aaron looks up at Emily, “Is he okay?” 
She nods and rubs a circle on Oliver’s back, “He’s okay, he’s just tired.” 
“The next family can come forward.”
Emily smiles at the elf in front of them and nods her thanks before she looks at the kids, with genuine enthusiasm in her eyes, “Come on, let's go meet Santa.” 
Hazel goes first. She sits on his lap and tells him what she wants - a princess castle which was currently in the home office waiting to be built - and then smiles for her photo. Jack does the same, a knowing look in his eyes as he goes through the motions for the sake of his parents and his sister. 
As Emily expected, the moment she puts Oliver down on Santa’s lap he bursts into tears. He stays there long enough for a picture, something that makes Emily feel a little bad because of just how much it amuses her. She picks him back up again, shushing him as she tries to soothe him, her lips against his temple as she whispers words of comfort in English and French. 
“Why did Ollie cry?” Hazel asks, one hand in Aaron’s and the other in Jack’s as they walk back to the car, “It’s just Santa.” 
“You cried when you first met him too,” Jack says, his smile getting wide when Hazel furrows her brow.
“No, I didn’t.” 
“You did, princess,” Aaron says, smiling as he meets his wife’s eyes, the memory of their little girl, who had only been 6 months old at the time, and the way she’d burst into tears just like Oliver had.
“But I love Santa,” she says, her lower lip stuck out in a pout. 
“Now you do, sweet girl,” Emily replies, “But you were very little. Even littler than Ollie,” she turns to Aaron, sighing when she sees him dig through his pockets for his car keys, wishing more than anything they were driving home together, “See you at home?” 
He nods, “I’ll grab dinner on the way back.” 
“It’s okay, you’ve been at work all day,” she says, “I can-”
“You’ve got all the kids with you, sweetheart,” he says, leaning in to kiss her cheek, “It’s easier if I go.” 
She smiles and nods, stamping her lips against his, “Okay, see you at home.” 
___
She sneaks out of Oliver’s room, making sure she’s careful as she pulls the door closed behind her, sighing in relief for managing to get all the kids to sleep, something that was no mean feat on any day let alone Christmas Eve. 
She yawns as she walks down the hallway, seeking out her husband and the rare and precious alone time she wants with him. She walks downstairs and smiles as she comes to a stop outside of the home office when she hears a muttered curse through the door. She knocks and then steps inside, her smile only getting wider when she finds him sitting on the floor surrounded by pieces of the princess castle they’d bought for Hazel. Most of it is still in pieces, with only the base built, and Aaron’s hair is all over the place from where he’d run his fingers through it in frustration. 
“How is going in here?” She asks, pressing her lips together to hide her amusement when he looks up at her, more frustration written across his face than she’d seen in a long time. 
“Did you know that this thing needs three different types of batteries?” He asks, shaking his head as he looks at the instructions again, “Why does anything need three different types of batteries?” 
She sits on the ground next to him, “Do you want any help?”
“No,” he says, shaking his head as he grabs the instructions from the floor in between them, “I can do it. You wrapped all the other gifts, I can build this.” 
She finds herself trying to suppress a smile again, her love for him and his love for their children thrumming under her skin. He was tired. Weary in a way that seemed bone deep, and he was insistent on building one of their daughter’s Christmas presents so she didn’t have to wait for him to do it tomorrow. She leans in to kiss his cheek, and she wraps her hand around the back of his neck, pressing her fingers into the muscles she knew ached the most.
“That’s because I enjoy wrapping presents, honey,” she says, smiling at him, stamping another kiss against his chest, “No one likes to build these things.” 
He hums and hands her the instructions, “You can see if you can make any sense of this if you’d like?”
She takes the piece of paper and immediately frowns at it, the instructions and the accompanying diagrams making no sense at all. She turns it over and tries to read them on the other side, “Well, if it makes you feel any better, honey, they don’t make sense in French or Italian either.” 
They end up working on it together, figuring it out mostly through trial and error as they slowly but surely build the castle they know will delight their little girl in the morning. When it’s eventually done, Aaron switches on all the lights and smiles in delight and relief when it works. 
“Thank fuck for that,” he says, sitting back to admire his work and blowing out a slow breath, “I was very close to telling Hazel that Santa was all out of princess castles.”
“No, you weren’t,” Emily chuckles and leans in to kiss him, her lips catching the corner of his as she cups his cheek, “You’d have stayed up until the morning if you needed to. Because you’re the best dad in the whole world.” 
He hums and kisses her, “And you’re the best mom.”
She smiles so widely that her cheeks ache and she once again wonders how this was her life, how she’d got so lucky to have him here with her with their children all safely tucked in their beds upstairs. She thinks of the Christmases she’d spent alone, how she had ached for a life where she’d stay up all night to build a present for her kid just to see their smile in the morning. 
“Our kids are lucky to have us,” she quips and he smiles, leaning in to kiss her again. 
His watch beeps as he pulls, indicating that it was midnight, and he smiles at her, his dimples carved out deep in his cheeks, “Merry Christmas sweetheart.” 
She pulls back just enough to speak, her nose knocking against his as she replies, “Merry Christmas, baby,” she kisses him again, “I love you.” 
“I love you too,” he says, “So much.” 
She kisses him, her hand tangled in his hair as she holds him in place before she rests her cheek against his chest, curling herself up against him as she sighs contentedly. She turns her head to look at the princess castle, her eyebrows furrowing as she finally takes in the size of it. 
“Aaron?” 
“Yes, Em?” 
“How the hell are we going to move the castle to the living room?” 
He tightens his hold on her for a second, and she feels more than hears his resigned sigh as it passes from his chest to hers. 
“Well shit.” 
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icumpinkglitterxo · 2 months ago
Text
You can't hurt me
part 2 (a)
a/n: i love angst. this version is the depressing one but its good i promise 🙏🏻
warnings: angst, mentions of sh, mentions of suicide, mentions of eds,
part 1
enjoy ★
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She sat with him, bandaging his wrist. Slash stayed quiet. He hadn't shown his face in public since breaking up with Axl.
His fake girlfriend, Natalie, came over after school to talk to him. He hadn't told her about their breakup yet. She tapes his bandage and cups his face, "you look awful... when was the last time you slept?" He shrugs.
She sighs, "wanna tell me what happened?"
He nods slowly, then tells her everything, not leaving any detail out. "I fucked up, I mean I really fucked up, Nat. Bad." She wraps her arms around him tightly, "I'm sorry, honey. I'm so sorry this happened. I'm so sorry it's so difficult. It shouldn't have to be this difficult."
He felt safe with her. They had known each other since they were little kids. She was the first person he came out to, resulting in her doing the same and leading to their fake relationship.
He sighs. "Am I an asshole?" She looks up at him, "what makes you think that?" He looks down and frowns, "I'm the one who broke up with Ax... Because I said us being together is wrong." His voice shakes. "Well, do you really believe that?" She asks cautiously, knowing how vulnerable he was already feeling.
He shrugs, "I...I don't know."
Nat sighs, "what makes you think it's wrong?" Slash looks at her. For a long time. Then he comes up with an answer.
"Everyone hates me. They judged me before for having long hair, and for being black, and for dressing the way I do, and for the few times someone saw me with red nails. They judged me. But they tolerated me. They talked to me in class. I got invited to parties. But now they hate me. They look at me with pure disgust. They write shit all over my locker. They write death threats and put them in my locker. They tell me I should end it. The day I broke up with Ax, I was assaulted. I was walking home alone, and these two guys from the football team started attacking me. And they weren't stopping. They were actually going to kill me for the simple reason that I love a man. I love him so much, and I know love is hard, and it takes patience. But I don't want to live my life hiding from people who might actually try to beat me to death because of who I love. That's not fair."
She frowns. "Oh baby, I'm sorry..." Slash shrugs. "I guess this is just how it has to be..."
A few weeks go by. With the help of Natalie, Slash felt comfortable enough to start coming back to school. He dreaded seeing Axl. He was surprised when the entire day had passed and Axl was nowhere to be found.
He shrugged it off and went to find Nat. She was waiting for him outside the school with a big goofy grin on her face. He scrunches his face up, "why are you so happy?"
She grins up at him, "I have a date."
His eyes widen, "a date!? With who!?" She smiles, "she's new here. She's called Michelle. She's super cool, and she's really pretty and -" Slash interrupts her, "I get it you little lesbian." She giggles. She was so excited. He smiles. This was nice. He was happy for her.
The two of them start walking away from the school. Nat looks up at him, "you hungry?" Slash looks down at her, "yeah, I didn't eat lunch," she frowns, "why not?" "Fish."
She nods. She knew there was a time when he had a difficult relationship with food, but this was just him hating any kind of food that came from the ocean. "Well, my dad said we can go to the diner and get lunch and dinner whenever we want," he looks down, "yeah? How much?" She rolls her eyes, "it's free, dumbass." His eyes light up.
The diner wasn't far, and the walk there only built their appetite. They were walking towards the diner, Nat walked a little bit ahead of Slash before she realised he had stopped.
She turned back to look at him, "what's wrong?" He stayed silent. Just kept staring at whatever it was he was so interested in. She looks over to see what he was staring at, and then her face drops, "oh..."
Axl.
With another man.
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