#fags of a feather

[castleofcuntdracula]

Inferring (2023) Renfield's class.

I need to do some proper research on this, but assuming Renfield is around ~30 in the flashbacks to the events of the 1931 film, which is SET vaguely in the 1920s (I'm going with 1920 for the sake of the maths) he was probably born around 1890, and given primary education from about 1895 to 1902. In the early 1900s, the school-leaving age was 12, and we know he didn't do that. At that point, working-class children generally just got jobs, or apprenticed into a trade focused on manual labour.

Continued education cost money, and becoming a solicitor meant continuing education through to until at least 16 (~1906-15ish?). Whether or not he needed a university degree would have depended on exact timings I can't be bothered with, but either way, he would have spent between 5 and 7 years in either university education + articled clerkship, or just clerkship alone. Both of which cost money! So we're probably looking at upper-middle class at the least.

He likely went to a selective, fee-paying boarding school, quite probably a grammar school, since he's not implied at any point in any canon to be of particularly high standing, and treats nobility FIRMLY as his betters- but it's likely he grew up with at least one household servant employed by his family, especially if they lived in the city.

This is interesting, because it means that service was probably never a career option for him! He has no expectations going into it. Which is FUN, considering what it means about definition of his duties...

[segamascott]

fags of a feather frot together

[mjrtaurus]

Stupid things

Dragon started one day (it was totally koalas faulty) saying ‘girl dinner’ literally whenever he needs to have a snack. Crocodile got caught up in it

This ended by crocodile saying ‘fag dinner’ while dragon was performing certain sexual acts (There may have been hospital visit following this)

Crocodile has two separate spaces for his clothes, one is his work clothes and the other are his very soft silk and cashmere and several very worn t shirts that he may or may not have stolen from dragon

He doesn’t wear hoodies (to public knowledge) but dragon always wear ones that don’t belong to him (dragon has never bought a hoodie in his life)

Crocodile loves dressing dragon up as much as dragon loves dressing crocodile down (not a sexual thing, he just likes when croc is in soft comfy loungewear)

Unfortunately crocodile hasn’t ever had a day where he looks bad (not including that one particular set of nine months that will not be mentioned ) Crocodiles just oozes fashion and charm and being gorgeous

Dragon looks vaguely like a 4th year uni student most of the time. But he does smell a lot nicer, and crocodile did at one point consider putting a paper bag over his head because how does Dragon attract so many people?

Crocodile cannot dance for shit and Dragon can, it’s a testament to love that croc is willing to be pulled out on the floor again and again

Actually I should clarify, Crocodile cannot do regular dancing for shit. He can however grind quite well and is adept at the club

Petnames include

Freak, weirdo, husband, my husband, my ex boyfriend, muscle man, walker Texas ranger, doll face and of course, ‘that bastard’

Crocodile will compulsively flick his lighter open and closed until the hinges on it wear out. Dragon cannot stand the repetitive noise, so Crocodile only does it when he's safely out of earshot.

Dragon used to smoke when he was younger. Cheap cigarettes that he could scrounge enough pocket change for. He tries not to anymore due to the damage to his throat, but sometimes he'll bum one off of Terry if he's exceptionally stressed out. On the verge of having a full-blown meltdown levels of exceptionally stressed. When he and Crocodile met, the latter was absolutely appalled by how he could smoke trash like that. He offered a draw on one of his cigars, and had to pat the taller man on the back so he didn't choke. The only thing he smokes now is the occasional dart for the RLS.

All the gold Crocodile brings in from a haul is tested for being Shandian in origin. Something about the longterm exposure of blue sea gold to whatever condenses the clouds into a fossilized form in Skypiea specifically effects the conductive qualities of the metal. They are more recipient to an electrical current than other types of gold. He tests them with dry lightning produced by the friction and aridity of his sand. If it's Shandian, it goes to Dragon. All the piercings and bits of jewelry Dragon wears aside from the disks are gifts from Crocodile. He only keeps a one or two sets, and lets everything else be documented and loaded up for him to fly back to Shandora.

Crocodile uses his expertise in animal handling to help Dragon preen his feathers. He raised and trained the Unluckies himself, so he knows how to pamper a bird. Or a condor, at least. Dragon has the same sort of reaction about Crocodile preening him as Crocodile does when he sharpens his talons in his sand. Which is interesting because he usually bristles at any touch to his wings but his own.

There are many times when a sharp-toothed bite mark happens to just appear on the valley of skin between his wings. It just shows up sometimes. No rhyme or reason. The dental pattern certainly doesn't match his husband's.

When the rare spike in libido hits Dragon, the puma aspect of the Amaru comes in hard. He will change shape, either fully or partially and caterwaul for Crocodile. Which would be pretty cute and kinda sappy if it weren't for the fact that a puma caterwaul sounds like a woman being brutally murdered.

Crocodile rarely uses his logia abilities to shape himself a hand. He sees it as an unnecessary waste of energy. He gets by just fine with a prosthetic. Certain feats of dexterity will call for it, but he's typically too slippery to get into such situations to begin with, and when they do happen, he typically looks for other outs before resorting to it. The one time he will is for brushing his husband's hair. Dragon just... melts under the attention. If he plays his cards right, it might even rile him up.

When they spar, each point of contact is punctuated with a static shock. Between Dragon's devil fruit given production of static electricity, and Crocodile's aforementioned friction and aridity, sparks quite literally fly. This very much has been exploited in intimate settings.

Crocodile keeps his husband's molted Shandian feathers as mementos on long trips, while Dragon keeps some of Crocodile's Thalattosuchid Fish-Man shed teeth. They're clinically insane about each other, but this is known.

[ruinedholograms]

(2000-2007)

• Queens Of The Stone Age - Rated R

• Andrew Bird - Weather Systems

• Nine Inch Nails - And All That Could Have Been, and Still

• Clint Mansell + Kronos Quartet + Mogwai - The Fountain

• Animal Collective + Vashti Bunyan - Prospect Hummer

• Xiu Xiu - Fag Patrol

• Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Lift Yr Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven

• Sigur Rós - Takk…

• Kanye West - Late Registration

• Queens Of The Stone Age - Lullabies To Paralyze

• Ray Lamontagne - Trouble

• Tim Hecker - Harmony In Ultraviolet

• Elliott Smith - Figure 8, From A Basement On The Hill, and New Moon

• LCD Soundsystem - Self Titled

• Xiu Xiu + Grouper - Creepshow

• Slipknot - Iowa

• Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds, With Teeth, and Every Day Is Exactly The Same

• Thom Yorke - The Eraser

• Tom Petty - Highway Companion

• Thom Yorke - Spitting Feathers

• The Postal Service - Give Up

• The Knife - Silent Shout

• Air - The Virgin Suicides

• The Knife - Self Titled

• Stars Of The Lid - And Their Refinement Of The Decline

[give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back]

Wrote a little ficlet about Cas beating John’s ass in heaven. Enjoy my little spite-driven story :)

Link

When John Winchester makes it to heaven he's very relieved.

God knows how he wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine, how sometimes his temper got the best of him, but apparently that wasn’t enough to get a one way ticket to downstairs.

His house is the same as the old Winchester home down on earth. He's sitting on the same porch he has known for so many years,it slightly creaks as he moves in his chair. He sips his perfectly cold beer, a soft summer breeze blows by. It's perfect.

Until it isn't.

He doesn't know who this weird guy in the trenchcoat is, he's never seen him before in his life, but he doesn't look exactly friendly as he appears out of nowhere and storms towards him. And are his eyes are glowing? What the fuck?

"John Eric Winchester!"

The guy his voice is loud, almost impossibly, and deep and gravely. John won't admit that this stranger that is currently standing about two feet away from him (hasn’t he ever heard of personal space?)and is screaming in his face is actually quite intimidating.

"How on earth you selfish, hateful piece of filth have managed to make it to heaven is beyond me."

What the hell is this guy on about?He doesn't even know him. John rights his back, showing whoever this crazy person is that he's not afraid.

"What's your problem,huh? I never even met you-"

"My problem -" Shit, his eyes are glowing again, though the rando was deemed slightly less intimidating by his use of airquotes -" is that you are a horrible father, with medieval morals and the anger issues of an average toddler."

"Listen up,dick. You don't even know me. You know nothing about my sons or the way I raised them I-" John protests.

Cas intterups him with a scoff. "Oh,I know your sons very well. Dean most of all. In fact, I talked to him only two minutes ago."

There’s a smug crooked smile on the stranger's face that doesn't reach his eyes. John doesn't like it one bit. It's almost like he had just told half a joke, waiting to drop the punchline.

"He woke up next to me from a nightmare. He told me he dreamt about a case you sent him on on his seventeenth birthday to "teach him a lesson" (those fucking airquotes again)? Forcing him to exterminate two nuns that were in love with eachother? Sounds familiar?" The guy spits at him seething with anger.

John should probably start thinking about what exactly he's hinting at, but his brain short-circuits after the first part of his sentence.

"That's impossible. You're a dude."

This seems to throw him off. He tilts his head and squints at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You're a dude. Dean ain’t a fag, he ain’t-" This was apparently the wrong thing to say.

John is quickly hit with the realisation that this man probably isn't human when his fist lands on his face and not only breaks his nose, but absolutely crushes it. He feels the bones shatter as his nose is stumped entirely flat against his face. The tears start streaming before he can stop them.

"Never talk this respectless about your son ever again or I will personally drag you back to hell myself, is that clear?"

John cradles his nose with his hands and nods.

"Good." John hears the faint rustling of feathers and the asshole has gone as quick as he came.

--

When Cas appears in Dean’s bedroom he is still confused. He had just told Cas about a case he had been working with on his dad on his 17th birthday, when the angel had dissapeared immediately without saying anything.

"Cas what the hell? Where did you go?"

"Shh" Cas soothes him as he gently kisses his forhead. "Go back to sleep. I just payed a visit to your dad."

"My dad?" Dean is half convinced he's still dreaming because that doesn't make any sense.

"Yes. He called you a slur regarding your sexuality, so I punched him in the face and broke his nose."

Yes, now he's sure. He must be dreaming. This is simply to absurd to be real. Time to sleep.

Dean mumbles after he quickly presses a chaste kiss into Cas his cheek. "Good Night, Sweetheart."

His eyelids fall and sleep takes him under.

[coeuranxieux]

Hi so this is kind of stupid but......... HEAR. me out.....

...Orpheus with a murkrow and Alice with a chatot. in child hood at least. HEAAAR MW OUT!!!!!!! This is mainly because I'm on that DeRoss sibling brainrot but. My thought process is mainly. The bird symbolism they both carry in game. ("nightingale" and "nightmare") they don't actually have Pokemon that represents a nightingale. BUT CHATOT FITS ACTUALLY PRETTY WELL! Some trainers from the reporter class use chatot!!!and (you'll never guess) ALICE IS A REPORTER!!!! or journalist, similar enough!!!!!!!! murkrow is self explanatory (crow pun). now that they're adults I don't think Orpheus battles with (a now evolved) honchkrow (I saw your dragon team for him it's SO PEAK. also what a fag Norton gave him an applin.) It's more like a pet. A little bastard of a pet that gives him a lot of trouble (the little shit probably gets Oran Berry all over the walls and leaves it's feathers everywhere) but still a pet. CHATOT is definitely a partner mon though. (Though I could see Alice having even more birds.... They are a reoccurring theme)

I'm pretty sure it. Crashes on her window in another scene. SPEAKING of reoccurring themes this is likely a coincidence but there are frequent window shots. ANYWAY. That's kind of off topic. please endorse my proposal.

THIS IS SO WONDERFUL I NEED TO PUT TIGETHER AN ALICE TEAM OUGHH

orpheus's fuckass bird /affectionate

plus the pet thing is always so fun there's actually a similar dynamic with norton because by my certified norton friend's request he has a sableye thats his pride and joy and he doesnt want it to get hurt because its smaller than average (also reminds him of demi in some ways) but its a part of his team while he's working at the battle cafe because it's less dangerous and he doesnt wanna keep one of his mons from doing something it wants to but i digress

i love yiu deross siblings alice deross i'll give you a team one dya i have to get back on my grind while fighting off emildrew brainrot

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

500 Follower Special!!! (the worst one yet)

So uhhhhhh

...I did not actually think that I would hit 500 followers within a month of hitting 400 so I forgot to prepare the milestone special

But I figured I have to give you something, right? Something I could make easily and quickly, but not something lazy like a terribly made mashup song or a few halfhearted memes, it had to be something you could come back to time and time again, and something of realistic value.

So I made copypastas for some iconic 90s songs.

Expand the post to see them all. Sorry in advance. And yes, you may make requests for more.

[Creep]

When 🕗 you 👉 were ➕ here 📍 before 😺 Couldn't 🙅‍♂️ look 👀 you 👈🏼 in 🍑💦 the eye 😙 You're 🏼 just 😤😤 like 🩸 an angel 😇 Your 👉 skin ♂️ makes 🖕 me 🥵🥵😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 cry 👤😢😭 You 😳 float 🚣‍♀️👩‍✈️💆🏻‍♀️ like 👍 a feather In 🛌 a beautiful 🔴🔷🔸 world 🤷🌍 I 😀 wish 🌠 I 😣🤐 was special 👁️👄👁️ You're 🏻 so fuckin' 👉👌 special 👁️👄👁️ But 🔚🎮🍑 I'm 💦👌🏻💪 a creep 👀🤫 I'm 💥 a weirdo 🤪 What ❓ the hell 👦 am 🙌 I 👀😂 doin' 🤓 here? 🈁📍 I 👀 don't 💰 belong 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🚽 here 📍 I 🧠👅 don't ❌ care 😜😩 if it hurts �� I 😍 wanna 😱 have 🈶 control 🤔🎮 I 🏻 want 🤬 a perfect 💯 body 👀 I 🙋‍♂️ want 👄 a perfect 😜😚🥰 soul 👻 I 😀 want 🤲🤲 you 😀🤟 to notice 👎 When 🍑 I'm 💆‍♀️ not 🚯 around ➕🏜️➡️👤 So fuckin' 👌🏻💯 special 👉😎👈 I 👌 wish 🙏🙏🙏 I 😊 was special 👁️👄👁️ But 🍑 I'm 😇 a creep 👀🤫 I'm 📍 a weirdo 🤪 What 🤔😡 the hell 🐕😭📛 am 👄 I 👏👏😠 doin' 🤓 here? 🈁 I 💭🏿 don't 🚫 belong 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🚽 here 🙈🌟🌟✨✨ She's 👩🏾 running 🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️😍 out 😾 the door 🚪 (run) 🏃‍♂️ She's 🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑 running 🏃‍♀ out 😜🚪 She 👩🏾👩🏿 run, 🏃 run, 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️ run, 🏃🏃 run 🏃 Run 🏃🏃 Whatever 😴 makes 🖕 you 😀 happy 😁 Whatever 💯 you 👈 want 😋 You're 😭 so fuckin' 😩 special 👁️👄👁️ I 👀 wish 🌠 I 👀🌈 was special 👁️👄👁️ But 🍑 I'm ☝️ a creep 👀🤫 I'm 👏🏻 a weirdo 🤪 What 👀🤷🏻‍♀️ the hell 🔥🥵 am 🙌 I 👅 doin' 🤓 here? 🥵 I 😊 don't 🚫 belong 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🚽 here 💦💪 I 😞😳 don't 🙅‍♀️ belong 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🚽 here 🔪🔥

[Common People]

She 👩 came 👅🍆💦 from 😤 Greece 🇬🇱 she 👩 had ✊ a thirst 💦 for 💦 knowledge 📚 She 🥰 studied sculpture at Saint 😈 Martin's College That's 🦎 where 👀 I 🙀 Caught 🏃🏾‍♂️💨👮‍♂️👮‍♂️ her 👩 eye 😻 She 👩 told 👉 me ✌️ that 😐 her 👩 dad 😪🏼 was loaded I 😀 said, 😁 in 🍑 that 💀 case 😎💯 I'll 🎅👏 have 🎲 rum and Coca-Cola She 🙉 said 💬 fine 🙊 And then 🙈👱 in ☮️ thirty 🕧 seconds 😫 time 😁✨💞 she 👩 said 💬🙈 I 😊😀😀😀😀😀 wanna 🤕 live 🐙 like 😄 common 😍😍 people 👩👫 I 😀 wanna 👯‍♂️ do ⏳ whatever 😐 common 🐩 people 👫 do 🦤 Wanna 🤕 sleep 😴 with common 😍 people 👨 I 😊 wanna 🙇🙇 sleep 😪 with common 🐩 people 👨‍👨‍👧‍👦 Like 💖 you 👈 Oh 🦋 what 🍑 else 🏿😩 could 🤔🤔 I 🏻 do 👏🚫👀 I 😊 said 🗣️🗣️ I'll, 📷 I'll 🙅🏿🎡 see 👀 what ❓ I 😊 can 🦎 do ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ I 😩 took ✋ her 👄 to a supermarket I 😀 don't ✋ know 🤓 why 🤔 But 🍑 I 😊😊😊😊😊😊😀😊 had 💔 to start 💢 it somewhere 👉 So it started 🆕 there 😂 I ℹ️ℹ️ said 💬 pretend 🙃 you've 😦 got 🉐 no 😣😣😣 money 👛 She 💁‍♀️ just 😡 laughed 😂 and said 💬 Oh 😯 you're 🥵 so funny 😃 I 😏 said; 🗣️ yeah ☔ I 😊 can't 💦💦 see 👀 anyone 🙋 else 🖤 smiling ✨💫🧚‍♀️ in 🧚🏻 here 🍒 Are you 🤡 sure? 👍 You 👈 wanna 👯‍♂️ live 🐙 like 💁‍♀️ common 🐩 people 👪 You 🕛👊 wanna 😷 see 👥 whatever 😒 common 😍😍 people 👫 see 👀 Wanna 🌺 sleep 🛏 with common 😍😍 people 👩👫 You 👦👉 wanna 🥀 sleep 😪 with common 🐩 people 💁 Like 👋 me 👦 But 😜 she 👩 didn't 🙅🏻‍♂️ understand 😆😅😊 She 🙋‍♀️ just 👌 smiled and held 👨‍💼 my 😖🙂 hand 🤲 Rent a flat 🌠🌑🌒🪐☄️ above 🆙🆙🆙 a shop Cut 😣 your 👈 hair 💇 and get 🔥 a job 💼 Smoke 💨 some 🐺💯 fags and play 🎲 some 💥💥 pool 🎱 Pretend 🙃 you ‼️‼️ never 🚫 went 💨 to school 😑 But 🍑 still ⏰👠 you'll 🤓 never 🙅 get 🉐 it right 🔰🔰 'Cause 🔫 when 🕛🕐 you're ❌ laid 🍆 in 🅰️ bed 🛌 at night 🌑🌑 Watching 👀 roaches climb 📼 the wall 😎🥳🤑 If you 😊 called 👱🏽📞 your 👈 dad 🌱 he 👨 could 👈 stop ✋ it all, 💯 yeah 🚜

You'll 👸 never 🚫 live 💣👦 like 💖👍 common 🐩 people 👥 You'll 🏃👧 never 🚫 do 👂 whatever 💯 common 😍😍 people 👨👲 do 👌 You'll 👏 never ❌ fail 🤧🤧 like 😄 common 😍 people 😣👥 You'll 👏 never ❌❕❕❕❕ watch 👀 your 🍂 life 💓 slide 🎉🎢 out ↘️ of view ⛲ And you 👈 dance 🐲 and drink 🍶 and screw Because ➡️ there's 😹 nothing 😜🤙✋ else 😔 to do 😆 Sing 🎤🎙️ along 🎶 with the common 🐩 people 👫👬👭 Sing 🎶😙 along 💁🔚 and it might 🤷🏻‍♀️ just 🕛👀 get 🉐 you 👈 through 🧑‍⚖️ Laugh 😄 along 💁🔚 with the common 😍 people 👩‍🌾 Laugh 😂 along 🔚🔚 even 🌃 though 💫🧚🏻💗 they're 👥 really 👅😻 laughing 😅 at you 😀😀😀 And the stupid 🤤 things 👆👀 that 😐🤔 you 🤗🤖 do 🚶‍♂️ Because 🎉 you 👉👦 think 🤔 that 😐 poor 💸 is cool 😎 Like 🎅 a dog 🐩 lying 🤥 in 👏🏡 a corner 🌽 They 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 will 👏💰 bite 👄 you 😀 and never ❌🔚 warn you 👈 Look 👀 out, 👉 they'll 👯‍♂️ tear 😂 your 😩 insides 💠 out 👉 'Cause 😛🤓 everybody 👴👵👨 hates 😡 a tourist Especially one 1️⃣ who 📷 thinks 🪐 it's all ➡️🕥2️⃣ such 😛🍎 a laugh 😐 Yeah 🕢👩‍👩‍👧👏🏻👠 and the chip 🍟 stains and grease Will 🐼 come 🌽 out 😵😵 in ☝🏻 the bath 🛀 You 😀 will 💰🏼 never ✖️ understand ✖️ How 🤔 it feels 😤 to live 👦🏻👰🏾👉🏻 your 🙌 life 🍆💦💦💦🍂🍂🍂 With no ⛔ meaning 😏 or control 🕺 And with nowhere ❓ left 👈 to go 🦗 You 😀🤟 are amazed 😳 that 🤔 they 👥👨 exist And they 🏽 burn 🔥 so bright 😎 Whilst 🎩 you 👈 can 😜 only 🤏 wonder 💭 why 🤔 Rent a flat 🌠🌑🌒🪐☄️ above 🆙 a shop Cut ❓😱 your 👩‍💼 hair 🙆 and get 🉐 a job 👅🍑🤪 Smoke 🚫 some 😋 fags and play 🎽 some 🌽 pool 🏊 Pretend 🙃 you 👈 never ❌ went 👣 to school 🍯🍵☕🍯🍼☕ But 🍑 still 👠📞 you'll 👈 never ❌ get 🔟 it right 📐 'Cause 💋 when 🍑 you're 👌 laid 😂 in 🍑🙍 bed 😴🛌 at night 🌙 Watching 👁️ roaches climb 📼 the wall 😎🥳🤑 If you 👉🤖 called 📲 your 👉 dad 👨 he 💁‍♂️💁‍♂️💁‍♂️ could 😟 stop ✋ it all 👾 Yeah 😩 Never 🚫 live 😜 like 😄 common 😍😍 people 👶 Never 😅 do 😣 what 💘💦👑 common 🐩 people 👫👨 do 🍆👺 Never 🚫 fail 🚫 like 👍 common 😍😍 people 👨 You'll 😭 never 🚫 watch 👀 your 🌽 life 👊🧬 slide 😏 out 🔍 of view ⛲ And then 🙄 dance 🐲 and drink 🍶 and screw Because 🙆🏽 there's 😹 nothing 💃🏼 else 🙅‍♀️ to do 🤨 Wanna 😌 live 🐙 with common 😍😍 people 👥 like 💖 you 👈 Wanna 😌 live 🐙 with common 🐩 people 👩👨 like 💖 you 🦎 Wanna 🙏 live �� with common 🐩 people 👩‍🌾 like 😻👫 you 👏 Wanna 🤘🏻 live 👦 with common 😍😍 people 👫 like 😛 you 🦎 Wanna 💀 live 🐙 with common 😍😍 people 🤥🤫 like 📷 you 👆 Wanna 🙇🙇 live 👦🏻👰🏾👉🏻 with common 🐩 people 👨 like 👧👍 you 👈 I 💁 wanna 💀 live 🐙 with common 🐩 people 👪 like 💗 you 👉 Oh, 😯 la, 🧚 la, 💰 la, 🎶 la 🎶 Oh, 😳 la, 💰💰 la, 💰 la, 💰💰 la 💅 Oh, 😰 la, 🎶 la, 💰 la, 💰 la 🎶 Oh, 🍤 la, 💰💰 la, 🎶 la, 🧚 la 😼 Oh 🦋 you 👉

[Even Flow]

Freezin' 🥶🥶 Rests his 💦 head 💆🗣️ on 🔛 a pillow made 👑 of concrete again 🥳 Oh, 🐦🎉 feelin' Maybe 🤔 he'll 🔙🔙 see 🙈👀 a little 🤏 betters, any 💦 days 🗓️ Oh, 😰 hand 🤟 out 💋 Faces 😃😍 that 🏻 he 👨🏻 sees 👀😲 time ⏳ again ❌😬 ain't ❌ that 😈 familiar Oh, 🚙 dark 🌚 grin 😄 He 📷 can't 👽 help, 😢😬 when 🕗 he's 👨 happy, 😁 he 📷 looks 👀 insane 🍑🤪 Even 🌓 flow, thoughts 💭🤔 arrive 🛬 like 💖 butterflies 😟 Oh, 🦋 he 👨 don't 🚫👎 know, 💭 so he 😳 chases them ➡️😇 away 😂 Oh, 🤔🤔🤗 someday yet ❗❗ he'll 🤴 begin 📦 his 🤜🍖 life 🦧🦧🦂🐴 again 🥳 Life 📅 again, 🥳 life 💓 again ❌ Kneelin' Lookin' 👀👀 through 💸 the paper 🤓 though 💥💭 he 💁‍♂️ doesn't 😚 know 🤔 to read 📖 Oh, 😉😯 prayin' Now 😏 to something 👤❔ that 😷😯 has 👍 never 😅 showed him 💦👱 anything 😫 Oh, 🤔🤔🤗 feelin' Understands the weather 🌡 of the winter's on ⬇️ its way 💅 Oh, 🙀🆗 ceilings Few 😋🔢 and far 🌌 between 👄 all 💯 the legal 💰😋 halls of shame 😳 Even 🌃 flow, thoughts 💭🤔 arrive 🎀 like 💖 butterflies 😟 Oh, 😳 he 👥 don't 🚫 know, 😍 so he 👥👉 chases them 🚼 away 😂 Oh, 🙀 someday yet ✨ he'll 🤴 begin 🔘 his 🙈 life 😀 again 😬 Whispering hands ✋👌🤛 gently 👅 lead 👑 him 👴 away 😂 Him 👴 away, 😇 him 👴 away 👋 Yeah, 🌍 ooh, 🎁➡️➡️👤⬆️ ah 🥶 yeah, 🙌 fuck ⬆️🖕👦🖕 it up 🔝 Even 🌃 flow, thoughts 💭🤔 arrive 🛬 like 👍 butterflies 😟 Oh, 😧😅 he 📷 don't 🙅‍♂️🚫 know, 🚫😱 so he 👨 chases them 😱 away 🔜💨 Ah, 😱 someday yet 👇👀 he'll 👦 begin 🐢 his 🦋🌟❄️ life 🤤💓 again 🤞🤞😎‼️✔️ Whispering hands 👐 gently 👅 lead 👉👌💦 him 👨 away 👋 Him 👴 away, 🥰 him 👴 away 😂😂 Yeah, ✅ ooh 🦗

[Closer]

You 💁 let 👫 me 😏 violate 💯 you 👈🏽 You 😀😊 let 👫 me 🤷🏻‍♂️ desecrate ❌ you 👈 You 💕 let 🙆 me 😰💯 penetrate you 💗 You 😻😻🥵🥵 let 💂 me 👀 complicate you 👈 I 👥 broke 💔 apart 💖💕💓 my 👪👨 insides 💠 (Help 💁 me) 🙋‍♀️ I've 💯 got 🙈 no ✋ soul 😱 to sell 💸 (Help 👏🔈👏🔈 me) 🥺 the only 🤣 thing 🕑 that 👉💀🔕🐑 works 👍🏻 for 👻 me 👊🤰👏 Help 🦎 me 👩🏻 get 5️⃣ away 😂 from 👊 myself 👈 I 💰 wanna 😡 fuck 🍑💦 you 🏼👨 like 💖 an animal 🐯 I 😣🤐 wanna 🌺 feel 😁 you 😊 from 👉 the inside 💠 I 😀 wanna 💀 fuck 👉😉 you 🤟 like 🦊 an animal 🐁 My 😀 whole 💦 existence 😂👌 is flawed You 👈 get 5️⃣ me 😤 closer 🤡➡️ to God 💃 You 👉 can 🔫 have 🈶 my 🏿 isolation You 👉 can 😜 have 🅰️ the hate 😡 that ☑️ it brings 🚶 You 👀👈 can 🔫💦 have 🈶 my 😊 absence of faith 🚫⛪ You 👉👨 can 🙋🔝🏃‍♀️ have 🈶 my 😀 everything 💯 you 🏻👈 tear 🤣 down 🤗 my 💅 reason 🤔 (Help 🦎 me) 🕴🏻 it's your 👉 sex 🍆 I 😊 can 🔫💦 smell 👃 (Help 🦎 me) 😤 you 😊🤟 make 🧃 me 🦶 perfect 😜😚🥰 Help 🦎 me 👩🏻 become 😌 somebody 👤 else 😁 I 🤚🏽 wanna 🎀 fuck 🖕 you 😱🤯😳 like 🌟 an animal 🐔 I 😊 wanna 💀 feel 😁 you 👊 from 🧚‍♀️ the inside 🧑 I 😊😊😊 wanna 😱 fuck 😏 you 😀 like 💓 an animal 🐖 My 🍗 whole 💦 existence 👌 is flawed You 😊😀 get 🉐 me 👩🏻 closer 🤡➡️ to God 🙏🤔 Through 👉⏬ every 😹 forest 🌲 Above 🆙🆙🆙 the trees 🌲 Within 😱 my 😵 stomach 😂🤣 Scraped off 😍 my 🎎 knees 🧎‍♂️🤏 I 👥 drink 🧉🍻🧉🍸 the honey 🐝 Inside 💠 your 🍌👉 hive You 🤟 are the reason 🧐 I 😊 stay 🚉🧍‍♂️ alive 🥴

[Supersonic]

I 🙀 need 👍 to be 😡🐝 myself 😈👑 I 🙋 can't ❌ be 🐝 no ❌ one ☝️ else 😁 I'm 🤩 feeling 😌 supersonic Give 🎁 me 🏻 gin and tonic You 😊🤟 can 🎥 have 😑 it all, 💯 but 🤔 How 💁❓ much 🔥 do 🏆 you ✨🧚🏻💖 want 😍 it? You 🤟 make ✊ me 🚨🏾 laugh 😆😂 Give 👐 me 🤩 your 👉 autograph Can ❌🔫 I 😩 ride 🚲 with you 👈 In 🍝🥫 your 😎 BMW? You 👈🏼 can 💦🔫 sail ⛵ with me 👩🏻 In 👉 my 😅 yellow 🚸 submarine You 👈 need 😬 to find 🔍👤 out 😜 'Cause 😛🤓 no 👎 one's 🩱 gonna 🎁➡️➡️👤⬆️ tell 🗣️🙊 you 💞👑✨ what 🤷🚟 I'm 👌 on 🔛 about ✨ You 😶 need 👍 to find 👀🔍 a way 😤✋ For 🎅🎁 what 😦 you 👦 wanna 🤕 say 😝 But 🍑🙋 before 😂 tomorrow 📆 'Cause 💋 my 🧚 friend 😀 said 💬 he'd take 🤲🏻 you 😊 home 🏚 He 💁‍♂️ sits in 📥 a corner 🌽 all 🙄🙅‍♀️ alone 👥 He 📷 lives 👤👈💓 under 😀 a waterfall Nobody 🙅 can 😳 see 👀 him 👴 Nobody 🙄 can 🧠 ever 😠 hear 👂 him 😧 call 🥣 Nobody 😯 can 🥫 ever 😤 hear 👂 him 👌😂💕 call 🤙 You 🙌 need 👉 to be 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ yourself 💁👈 You 😊 can't 🚫 be 😳 no 🏾 one 🦴 else 🏿😩 I ☝️ know 🙅‍♂️🤕🤷 a girl 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 called 🔳 Elsa She's 🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑 into 👉 Alka-Seltzer She 👧 sniffs it through 🧑‍⚖️ a cane 🍭 On 🔛 a supersonic train 🚂💨🦵💧🦵 And she 👩 makes 🖕 me 👧 laugh 😂 I 😢👨 got 📷 her 👩 autograph She 🥰 done ‼️ it with the doctor 👨‍⚕ On 🔛 a helicopter 🚁 She's 👩🏾 sniffing in 😛 a tissue Selling The Big 🤤😩 Issue 😭 And she 👩 finds 🔍 out 😜🚪 No 🙅🚫 one's 💚 gonna 💪💪 tell 📟 her 🙄🙄🧐 what 👀🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm 🙉😂 on 🧐😛😔😔😔 about 🧚‍♀️ You 😊 need ✊😇 to find 👀 a way 🤚 For 🍆🔜 what 😦 you 👈 wanna 😱 say 😫 But 🍑 before 😴 tomorrow 📆 'Cause 🔫 my 👸 friend 👩👨 said 💬 he'd take 😀👀 you 👈 home 👪👪👪 He 📷 sits in 🕺 a corner ���️ all 💯 alone 😢 He 👥 lives 💓 under 😡 a waterfall Nobody 😯 can 💸🔫 see 😌 him 👴 Nobody 🙅 can 💦💦 ever 🤔 hear 👂 him 👨 call 😠 Nobody 🙅🤐 can 🦎 ever 😠 hear 👂 him 🤭 call 📞

[Heart-Shaped Box]

She 🤠💕 eyes 👀 me 🥰 like 💖 a Pisces 🐟 when ⏰ I 👄💦💦💦🦾 am 👩‍👧👨‍👧‍👧 weak 👶 I've 😊 been 🏼 locked 🔐🔏 inside 👸👆 your ⚠️ heart-shaped box 📦 for 🤡 weeks I've 🙋 been 👦 drawn into 🚪 your 💦 magnet tar pit trap 🙊 I 😊 wish 😜🙏 I 🚫 could 🔮 eat 🍔👅 your 📉 cancer ♋ when 😀 you 😊🤟 turn 🔄 black ⚫ Hey 😡 Wait ✋✋ I 💋🐛 got 👍 a new 🚡 complaint Forever 😻 in ⬇️ debt to your 🌊 priceless advice 👏 Hey 🎆🎊 Wait ⌚ I 👇 got 🉐 a new 👌 complaint Forever 🕗💗 in 🎻📯🎺 debt to your 👉 priceless advice 👏 Hey 👋 Wait 😳😽 I 🤫 got 📷 a new 😮👶 complaint Forever 😪😭 in 💆 debt to your 🏻 priceless advice 👏 Your ✨ advice 👏 Meat-eating orchids forgive no 🙅 one 1️⃣ just 😂 yet 😇 Cut ❓😱 myself 😉 on 🔛🏿 angel 😇 hair 💇 and baby's breath 🐙👄 Broken 💔 hymen of Your 👈 Highness, I'm 🤧 left 👈🌰 black ⚫ Throw 🥴 down ⤵️ your 👉😩 umbilical noose so I 😈 can 😜 climb 🧗‍♂️ right 📷 back 👉 Hey 👋🏻 Wait 🚏 I 😌 got 😂 a new 🆕 complaint Forever 🕗💗 in 💘😜 debt to your 🍌👉 priceless advice 👏 Hey 👋 Wait 🚏 I 😊 got 💕 a new 🥝🥝 complaint Forever 🕐🕔🕤 in 🚮 debt to your 🖕🏼 priceless advice 👏 Hey 👋❗🏾 Wait 🙇😯 I 😊 got 🔌 a new 😱 complaint Forever 🕐🕔🕤 in 🔚 debt to your 😇 priceless advice 👏 Your 👉 advice 👏 She 🤷🐰 eyes 🤩 me 🤓 like 🌸 a Pisces ♓ when 💕 I 🤢 am ⌚ weak 👶 I've 🤩 been ✳️🚗😘 locked 🔐🔏 inside 💠 your 👉 heart-shaped box 🎁 for ⌛ weeks I've 😔🧚‍♂️✨👧 been 💴🥜 drawn into 👉 your 👉 magnet tar pit trap 🙊 I 😀 wish 🚘 I 👥❌ could 🤔 eat 🍔 your 👉 cancer 🦀 when 📷 you 😚 turn 🦷 black 🖤 Hey 😠 Wait 🙇😯 I 🙀 got 🏻😩 a new ❤️ complaint Forever 😪😭 in 🙈 debt to your 👉🏽 priceless advice 👏 Hey 🙋 Wait ✋✋ I 🙋 got 🉐 a new 💇‍♀️ complaint Forever 🕗💗 in 👉 debt to your 😡👉 priceless advice 👏 Hey 👋❗🏾 Wait ⌚ I 😛 got 💦 a new 😮👶 complaint Forever 🕐🕔🕤 in 😜👌 debt to your 🥺 priceless advice 👏 Your 👉 advice 👏 Your 🕺 advice 👏 Your 👉 advice 👏

[Parklife]

Confidence 🧚🏻💞✨ is a preference for 🤦 the habitual voyeur Of what 👏 is known 💫 as (Parklife) And morning 🌅 soup 🎾🍜 can 🥫 be 😖 avoided If you 😊 take 👀 a route 🙃🙂 straight 📏 through 🪀 what 😦 is known 💫 as (Parklife) John's got 😩 brewer's droop He 📷 gets 🉐 intimidated by 😓 the dirty pigeons They 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 love 😍 a bit 😁 of him 👴 (Parklife) Who's 😈 that ❗🎢 gut 🤤 lord 👑 marching 🌲 You 👉 should 💘👶 cut 😣 down ⏬ on 😼 your 👌 pork 🐖 life 💓 mate Get 🉐 some 👨💭 exercise 🙆‍♂ All 😉 the people 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 So many ❔ people 😣👥 And they 💁 all 🥺 go 🦗 hand-in-hand Hand-in-hand through 👉⏬ their 👥 parklife Know 💭 what 🧡💛 I 😊 mean? 👀👅 I 🤢 get 🔟 up 👍 when 🔜 I ✨ want 🥞 Except 😮 on 😳 Wednesdays When ��🏻 I 🐑🙏 get 5️⃣ rudely awakened by 😃 the dustmen (Parklife) I 😀 put 😏 my 😖 trousers 👖 on, 🔛🔛 have 🔵😤 a cup ☕ of tea ☕ And I 👀 think 🤔💭 about 🤔 leaving the house 🛖🏚️ (Parklife) I 🐑😎 feed 🍴 the pigeons, I 🎧 sometimes 🕐 feed 🍆 the sparrows too 🧍‍♀️ It gives 😚 me 🔒 a sense 💰 of enormous well-being (Parklife) And then 🥵 I'm 😈 happy 😊 for 🍆🔜 the rest 😪 of the day 🌸💞 Safe 🌺 in 👮 the knowledge 📖 there 😱😳 will 🍭🔵🎷 always 🧢 be ➡️ A bit ▪️ of my 👈 heart 🖤 devoted to it All 🟣 the people 👨 So many 👬 people 👩👫 And they 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 all 😢🙍 go 🦗 hand-in-hand Hand-in-hand through 🧑‍⚖️ their ⭕ parklife Parklife (Parklife) Parklife (Parklife) It's got 👏 nothing 🚫 to do 👌 with Vorsprung durch Technik, you 👊 know? 💭👅💭 (Parklife) (Parklife) and it's not ✖️ about 💦 you 👈 joggers Who 💁 go ❤️ round ⭕ and round 🔁 and round 🔁 (Parklife) (Parklife)

I hate myself

(oh yeah, edit: I obviously did not write all this myself, a bot did it instead because I'm not very efficient)

[slimeylee]

🪲🧃 || pinned -- # introduction post . *

The Whole " Being Dead " Thing

1:03 ──⚬──── 3:45

⇆ ◃◃ ıı ▹▹ ↻

❝ Hey , folks ! Beggin' your pardon !

'Scuse me ! Sorry to barge in ~

Now let's skip the tears and start on

The whole , y'know ... bein' dead thing ! ❞ /lyr

## last updated ;; march 19 , 2024 ,,

my blog introduction . . . remade !

this blog is a semi - tickle , semi [ normal ] blog .

♡ ‧˚⊹ ❝ Ready ? Okay ! Hi ! I'll be your guide !

I'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side ! ❞ /lyr

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 🧷 ABOUT ME

⚝ . * || names i go by are ;;

— slime

— loser

— les / leslie

— kenny

i steal most of my names from my favs :3

nicknames are okay , but i prefer them from closer moots only .

* . ^ i am a minor & my birthday is on april 1st . NSFW & 20+ DNI + DNF . 20+ & sfw are free to int .

please do not be weird and also do not dm if over 20 preferably please n tyy

⟡ i identify as asexual

i use they / he / fae / ze / it pronouns .

you do not have to use my neopronouns . at the least just use they or he

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 🧷 BYF

— i am unhealthily obsessed with my fandoms and characters . and i will post about them daily .

— i make kys / kms jokes . they're never serious / gen

— slurs . i say FAGGOT and FAG a lot . its all / lh i swear

— i have a very difficult time reading tone . please dont misuse or overuse tone tags but use them .

— i get attached to people easily so i might talk to u a lot

— i am not usually dry but i will try to match peoples energy most of the time !!!

— i use emoticons !! and i often talk in caps

— i have a typing quirk ( spaces before punctuation ) n im also either VERY GOOD or very bAD with spelling theres no in between .

i also never use grammar i hope you never expect me to use grammar

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 🧷 DNI / DNF

— basic dni criteria . [ this includes but is not limited to ;; racist , homophobic , transphobic , ableist , proship / comship , etc . ]

— nsfw or primarily nsfw blogs

— 20+ blogs that are nsfw

— tickle kinks / fetishisers

— people who misuse tone indicators

— extra sensitive people cuz i make insensitive jokes sometimes . im also a helluva boss , hazbin hotel , and south park fan so

— wilbur soot , dteam fans

— i love talking abt my fixations and fandoms PLS TALK TO ME ABT M FANDOMS also im so sorry if i post a lot abt a singular topic its just bcus im rly excited abt them . or it or whatever it rly is

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ [ are you still reading ? maybe leave a follow .. im pretty kewl rite ?! :3 ]

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 🧷 FANDOMS

________________

- south park

- the amazing digital circus

- hazbin hotel

- helluva boss

- dsmp / mcyt

✮ these are fandoms that I will write for !

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 🧷 TAGS

#slimey-thinks ;; my thoughts

#slimey-selfrbs ;; self reblogs

#slimeyLER ;; ler mood

#slimeyLEE ;; lee mood

#slimeySWITCH ;; switch mood 😭

#slimey-reblogs ;; reblogs

#slimey-asks ;; asks

#slimey-art ;; my drawings

#slimey-fics ;; my fanfics

#slimey-ficlets ;; short fics / oneshots ( ? )

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 🧷 CHARACTERS I WON'T WRITE FOR

tadc __

— I can write for them all I think I might not accept a ton of requests for certain characters . I think the only ones Id have trouble w is bubble and NPCs

hazbin hotel characters __

— valentino - self explanatory

— lilith - dont know enough abt her

helluva boss characters __

— stella - self explanatory

— mammon - self explanatory

— verosika's team [ -vortex maybe ] - dont know enough abt them

south park characters __

— I'll write for most if not all sp characters but I do prefer to write for the kids over the adults

dsmp members / characters __

— dream

— wilbur

— punz

— georgenotfound

— sapnap

and any characters unlisted you can request , ill let you know if i will do the req and or if im adding a new character to one of these lists

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 🧷 WHAT I WILL WRITE

for tickle fics :

— pinning down ( no tying )

— feathers , wings , nails , hands .

— ALL SFW

— angst

— fluff

— hurt / comfort

— ships romantic and platonic

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 🧷 EXTRA

i like to roleplay !! but i am rusty so bare with me ok

i love drawing and i like to sing :3

i also used to play gacha club / gacha life 2 a lot

anddd thats pretty much it :3 ty for reading and make sure to FOLLOW ME i am very cool .

maybe

♡ ‧˚⊹ ❝ See , I wasn't kidding , its a show about death ! ❞ /lyr

[bigassbowlingballhead]

I remember that Jenna/Nick day. He clearly thought he looked like some het stud surrounded by women, but he just came off as the gay bestie spending the day with the girls! Very TZP at Sabrina's all-girl sleepover #bothareoneofthegirls

something something fags of a feather

[your-divine-ribs]

The Devil Next Door Part 13

Words: 2.3k

This is as far as I have written for this story but hopefully I’ll get it updated soon ❤️‍🔥

The Devil Next Door Masterlist Main Masterlist

❤️‍🔥 Van's POV ❤️‍🔥

"You're not seriously thinking of joining a gym are ya?"

Bondy's voice makes me jump and I resist slamming the laptop shut, not wanting him to think I'm trying to hide what I'm doing.

"Christ sake, wish you'd quit sneaking up on me like that!" I complain, hoping to divert from what he's just seen over my shoulder as I sit at the kitchen table hunched over my MacBook.

No such luck though, he's grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he crosses to the fridge and takes out two bottles of San Miguel, prising off the tops and passing one to me.

"That's the gym Y/N goes too ya know," he smirks at me, taking a pull on his lager. "But I'm guessing you already knew that, huh?"

"I didn't actually," I lie, shrugging for effect. "I've been meaning to join up to one for ages and this one looks good... and it's local. It's just around the corner."

I'd spotted the gym's slogan on Y/N's duffle bag when I saw her arrive home a few days ago. It wasn't like I was spying on her or anything, it's just that I notice things when I'm skulking around out front having a ciggie break... and I've been having lots of those recently. Whenever I'm writing and I'm stuck on a lyric or a riff and I need a bit of inspiration I'm straight outside lighting up. I don't know why it helps but it seems to clear my head. I can't understand song-writers who'll take a long hiatus complaining about writer's block, it's just a fag break for me.

"You... join a gym? You only move off the sofa to put the kettle on most days. Reckon you'd cough up a lung if you got on a treadmill for more than five minutes."

The expression on Bondy's face says it all and it's quite obvious he can see my real intentions but I make an attempt to string him along, feeling a little embarrassed about the lengths I'm prepared to go to to impress a girl who's made her disdain for me abundantly clear.

"Fuck off, I'm not that unfit! Every time I'm on stage it's like a bloody workout. Couldn't do all that if I was a slob... and I used to be dead good at footy. Was the star striker at school back in the day ya know."

I take a swig on my beer and Bondy watches me, amused. "Yeah exactly... at school. How many years ago was that now? Sure that was before you discovered booze and fags."

"It's never too late to take on new hobbies," I say, ignoring his teasing as I scroll down the web page, perusing the classes.

"Let's see how long this one lasts!" He sniggers as he comes to stand behind me, watching on as I quickly scroll past yoga and Pilates.

"No one's catching me bending my body into ridiculous shapes dressed in Lycra!" I laugh.

I have no idea what HIIT is and I disregard weight-training too. I'm just hovering over the spin classes when the words 'Learn to box' catch my eye. That's more like it. I'm not hench or anything but I'm fast on my feet and I'm actually much stronger than I look. I try to imagine Y/N being impressed when she sees me driving my fists into a punch bag but my daydreams are interrupted by Bondy's mocking laughter.

"There's no way ya doing boxing mate, yer built like a rake! That's taking feather-weight way too literally!"

"It's just for fitness," I scowl, automatically shifting in my seat to correct my slouched posture. "It'll be training and a bit of light sparring and stuff. They're not exactly gonna stick me in a ring with Tyson Fury are they?"

Bondy rips the shit out of me for a few more minutes whilst I return fire, then he announces that he's going to get ready for the party, leaving me sitting there alone with my thoughts.

He's probably right to laugh, I'm not a fighter... and I'm definitely not a fitness fanatic. I might have a quick temper and boundless energy but I've not got an aggressive bone in my body and I'm certainly not cut out for boxing. This whole health-kick fad is admittedly a ridiculous idea but when I get a plan in my head I'm determined to see it through. If there's even a minuscule chance that it might get Y/N to see me in a different light rather than the lazy, lay-around no-hoper musician she currently sees me as then I'll take it. And if I just so happen to bump into her at the gym whilst she's working up a sweat then that's a bonus.

Tom was round again yesterday. He'd called in presumably after work to assist Y/N with fixing the trellis back on to the front wall of her house. I had to grit my teeth seeing him out there flexing his muscles like Superman come to help out his Lois Lane. Whilst I was relieved she'd got it sorted to save me from the unpleasant twinge of humiliation every time I left the house to see it lying there on the floor taunting me, I couldn't help but feel wounded that she hadn't asked me to fix it for her. After all it was my mess and I'd have been quite happy to clear it up. It was obviously yet another clear message telling me that she wasn't ready to forgive me and still wanted nothing more to do with me, but despite all of that I still can't seem get her out of my fucking head.

Much as I hate to admit it to myself I've got it bad. I've not felt this desperate kind of yearning for a girl in a long time. I definitely had my moments in my teenage years when I'd just got into music making and my hormones were running rampant. There was Chloe who Bob used to drum for who I was crazy about but at nine years my senior just wasn't interested in me. Then Kathleen came along who was as equally enchanting as she was toxic. She only had to click her fingers and I'd come running like a pathetic little love-sick puppy. I probably had a lucky escape on both accounts but they certainly inspired some quality lyrics.

"Heyup look who it is, it's Muhammad Ali!"

Benji's jeering voice sounds out from the open doorway, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look up to see him bounding into the kitchen with his fists raised in a fighting stance, huge shit-eating grin plastered all over his face.

"C'mon then," he teases, bouncing on his feet, ducking his body from side to side. "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee! What's all this I hear about you taking up boxing then? You'll get the shit kicked outta yer for sure!"

"Just thought I'd try something different instead of laying around the house with you losers," I smirk back at him, rising up as he jabs a fist into my side, catching hold of his wrist and yanking him forwards quickly and hard enough that he stumbles forward. I take advantage of the fact that he's temporarily unstable, tugging him into my side and wrestling him into a head-lock.

"What the fuck! Gerr-off Van! I've just done ma hair!" He yelps as I scrub my knuckles roughly over his curls.

I just laugh as he wriggles ineffectually, finally pushing him away whilst he fusses over his curly mop. "Reckon it's an improvement Blakes!"

I think he's going to retaliate but Bondy appears back in the kitchen and we soon get distracted with talk of the party as he hands out more beers which we gratefully accept. Any thoughts of kick-starting the new healthy version of me are pushed aside at once as I swig on my drink and light up a ciggie.

"So... who's coming tonight then Bond?"

Bondy ticks off a list of names on his fingers, mainly crew and their friends, a couple of promoters we've been involved with locally since the move and several bands who've supported us at recent gigs. That's not what I really want to know though. The list is distinctly male-orientated. I probe him further.

"Any more girls?"

He grins. "Why dontcha just ask me mate? Y/N's coming. I didn't have to work my charm on her to persuade her either. I asked Tom and he confirmed that he's bringing her."

My heart sinks and I can't keep the disappointment from my voice. "What the fuck? What did ya have to go and invite him for?"

"We've been messaging since we met at the gig the other night, he's a sound lad. Thought it'd be good to get to know some people from the area aside from the band connections. He's a big fan too."

"Competition eh?" Benji sniggers and Bob who's been quiet so far pipes up, ever the optimist.

"Well, at least she's coming. Heard about your little accident the other night. Sounds like you've got some making up to do so this party's the perfect opportunity. Sure she'll be good with you in no time if don't pull any stunts like that again and actually make an effort."

Benji dissolves into laughter at the mention of the incident which is branded in my mind like a scar on my ego. "What the fuck were you thinking Van? Smooth... real smooth!"

Despite my wounded pride I can see the funny side now and there's plenty of good-natured piss-taking and banter exchanged until I realise there's only half an hour until the first guests are due to arrive. I stub out my cigarette and drain my beer before I'm heading upstairs for the shower.

❤️‍🔥 Y/N’s POV ❤️‍🔥

"Honest opinion. You don't think it looks too slutty do you?" You're FaceTiming your friend Lilly, the back camera aimed at your full length mirror whilst you twist and turn your body so she can take in all your angles.

"It's literally just a little black dress, it looks great on you. It's not too short and it’s not like your tits are hanging out or anything. You should wear it."

You screw up your face as you switch to the front camera, flopping down on to the bed.

"It's just not really me is it? Maybe I'll just wear my jeans and a t-shirt..."

"Y/N!" Your friend scolds you. "Make an effort for once... it's a party! You're just used to wearing those shapeless scrubs all day, that's all. You can't just turn up in jeans for a date."

"It's not a date!" You're quick to reply. "Me and Tom are just friends. I mean, I like him and all... I really like him, but I don't want anything serious... not right now. I don't wanna rush into anything."

"Does he know that?"

You shrug, groaning. "God knows.... he's so nice Lilly... like I'm beginning to wonder whether he's too nice. What if we end up getting it on and then it gets messy and he doesn't wanna be mates anymore? He's like my best mate at work, I'd be lost in that shithole without him. Ughhh why do things have to be so complicated? Why can't I just meet a hot guy who I can have a little fun with, no strings attached?"

She giggles mischievously. "Oh, you mean like Van?"

"Fuck off!" You cry, hoping the blush you've applied will hide the sudden flush in your cheeks. "I told you what a dickhead he was didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I've seen a picture of him now." You see her eyes sparkle through the screen and you don't like the way your gut twists at her obvious appreciation. "There was a review online for that gig you went to the other night. The write up was brilliant by the way, they reckon the band are tipped for great things."

"They are pretty good..." you mumble, waiting to hear more.

"You didn't tell me how fit he was!" She gushes, a huge grin on her face. "Honestly, dickhead or not I'd be well in there! There's just something about scruffy haired indie guys with guitars... I don't know what it is, I can't help myself."

You tell her to shut up, laughing along, promising her that you'll definitely bring her along to the next gig and hating the way that the thought makes you feel deeply uncomfortable. She's your best friend for god's sake and you've made it quite clear that you don't want Van. You can't exactly gatekeep him can you? An image floats into your head of Lilly sitting in Van's lap backstage with her hands in his hair and her lips glued to his and you automatically bristle with fiery jealousy. Maybe you could set her up with Johnny instead...

"Wish I was coming tonight," she sighs, interrupting your thoughts. "Was supposed to be going out with my sister but she's let me down... again. Looks like it's a takeaway for one and Love Island for me."

"At least you'll feel fresh tomorrow!" You stand up and approach the mirror again, tugging on the hem of your skirt which has ridden up around your thighs, wondering if you're too dressed up for a house party.

"I'd better let you go," Lilly says, aware that you've not got long before you need to go. "Remember I'm living vicariously through you tonight so you'd better keep me updated! I wanna hear all about how cute Tom is... and what crazy shit Van and that band of his get up to..."

You're just about to say goodbye when she quickly adds "you can put in a good word for me too if you like..."

"Yeah... yeah... I will," you mutter reluctantly, then "if I even speak to him."

You end the call just as the loud chime of your doorbell rings out. There's just enough time to slick on a touch of glossy cherry red lippy and tousle your hair and then you're rushing down the stairs to answer the door.

[lesbiandarvey]

do u think marcus went to boxing camp? how did their parents treat them differently

OHHHHH YESSSS okay we’ve talked about this

so like, short answer no i dont think gordon sent marcus to boxing camp

so i think harvey’s dad sent harvey to boxing camp to straighten him out and toughen him up. i think harvey was a very… “sensitive” kid he liked baking with his mom and wearing her feather boa and putting on elaborate flamboyant dance numbers as a kid in her heels and gordon… noticed all that. and gordon knew that harvey needed to toughen up and fly straight and he sent him to boxing camp . and i dont even mean that in a homophobic way like im not at all saying gordon was thinking “no son of mine is gonna be a fag” i just mean in a way like gordon thought harvey needed to be trained how to fight and protect himself and toughen up at the same time

i also imagine harvey as like this scrawny little weakling kid who maybe was getting in fights or getting beat up a lot at school so i also think there was something there. also like how harvey and marcus were raised differently like harvey had to be the “man of the house” when gordon was gone, its all very daddy lessons beyoncé gordon said “take care of your mother watch out for your sister” etc yknow and there was some parentification of how harvey had to take over a leadership position in the household (even long before he knew about the infidelity) and yknow harvey was raised to be a Real Man whereas marcus was just raised to be a person

[rigginsstreet]

No actually this is my last point on the matter but looking through the comments of that post of mayas interview was a lot of “yeah gay people didn’t exist in the 80s anyway!” And this is exactly my problem with stranger things and their lack of presenting their gay characters in explicitly gay ways - they get to keep their homophobic audience without ruffling any feathers because they can either still deny it under the guise of being too ambiguous (wills case) or they just straight up never have to see anything (Robin). It’s playing the fence for the sake of remaining Netflix’s money bag and not facing backlash and like SORRY I do not care for it!

Can’t have your characters be TOO gay. But you CAN call characters fags and other derogatory messages

[punkslovepoints]

June 13th, 1992

Pride was being held at University Park, the biggest change to the festival since it had become a public event in 1990. They'd attended Pride in Monument Circle the year before, but it was to be Eddie's first as he'd been out of town the previous year visiting his uncle.

Steve had a little trepidation about the whole thing. Pride was a beautiful thing, but it was still dangerous. The previous year, protesters had stormed the stage as the Gay Men’s Chorus had been due to go on. Violence had only been avoided by some quick thinking from the chorus to sing the National Anthem. The protestors had stopped to pay their respects to the anthem and the tension was deescalated like something out of a morality tale. 

It had been affirming and terrifying in equal measure and reminded Steve that even in moments of celebration, there was still risk. Something the rest of his roommates never forgot.

On the day, they’d arranged to meet up with friends at the fountain before wandering the park to check out the stalls and speeches.

Nancy had found a cute dress in Sears covered in discrete pink and blue triangles that she wore with a white belt. Eddie had painted two triangles on her cheek.

Robin had on a pair of cuffed cargo shorts. Her white t-shirt had a rainbow trim around the edges and a small rainbow embroidered on the chest. She had a rainbow on her cheek to match Nancy's triangles. Her and Steve had matching rainbow feather boas around their necks.

Eddie had scoffed when they tried to add color to his outfit, a Smashing Pumpkins shirt, his usual leather jacket and ripped black jeans with a few extra chains added. He did accept a small rainbow pin from Steve's collection to pin to his jacket though.

Eddie had painted a rainbow across Steve's chest and Steve had thrown on a tanktop and his tightest pair of jeans. He knew by the time he'd get there, he'd have removed his shirt anyway, so he didn't put much thought into the top half, pulling a rainbow belt through his belt loops and wrapping the boa around his neck.

When they arrived Nancy immediately saw some women from her book group and grabbed Robin’s hand to go over to introduce her to them. Eddie asked Steve if he wanted to join them, but Steve shrugged and suggested they walk the park. It was still an hour or so before they were due to meet the rest of their friends. He’d already removed his shirt, the weather was hot and he wondered how Eddie was doing under all that leather.

As they walked, they were approached by both friends (Steve) and hookups (Eddie), hugs and kisses were shared, full of joy and solidarity. Steve stopped by the PFLAG stall to say hello to the other members. They'd given them both hugs and joked that they made a cute couple. Eddie ginned at them as Steve rolled his eyes.

Eddie hooked his arm in Steve’s as they reached the edge of the park where a number of protestors were gathered behind a metal fence. Steve felt Eddie tense, and turned ready to head back to the fountain. Instead Eddie stood still, watching the braying crowd. The number of people in the group were far outnumbered by the attendees of the festival, but it wasn’t a small amount. They were holding placards and yelling about them going to hell.

“God hates fags, real original.” Eddie spat.

“Come on man, we don’t need this today,” Steve moved his hand down, taking Eddie’s wrist instead of his arm. He tugged again but Eddie still wasn’t moving.

He stood watching the group and reading every placard. His body was still, but Steve could feel his hand shaking. He leaned in, “Look, ignore them. Let’s go back.”

Eddie sighed, his thumb stroked the side of Steve’s hand, “It just makes me feel so helpless. Makes me want to do something.”

Steve watched him. His mouth was set in a tight line, anger, upset and frustration clear on his face, but holding back. Steve looked over at the group again. There were a lot of them, but it wasn’t only protestors. The press were there too, a few video cameras and a photographer.

Something they could do.

"Kiss me," he said.

"What?"

"Kiss me," Steve repeated, signaling towards the cameras.

Eddie put both hands in his face and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips were soft and he felt Eddie's tongue swipe his top lip. Steve spun them slightly so that the cameras would catch them both in front of the crowd as he opened his lips slightly. Eddie hummed in surprise but deepened the kiss in response. Steve opened his eyes to catch the flash of the camera. In a moment of inspiration, he dipped Eddie low, keeping their mouths pressed together. He felt Eddie smile against his lips, his thumb gently caressed Steve's cheek as he pulled them both back up and broke the kiss.

The crowd were yelling louder, but they didn't care. They stayed staring at each other for a beat, both a little flushed and panting before Eddie grinned, hitting Steve lightly on the chest two times, he turned to the crowd and flipped them the bird. Steve stepped forward, grabbing Eddie round the waist from behind and joining him by sticking two fingers up at the crowd. They both started laughing.

"Fuck you," Eddie crowed.

"Yeah, fuck you." Steve yelled too, pulling Eddie towards him again and planting a wet kiss on his cheek. The camera flashed again and Steve wasn't sure when he'd ever been happier.

>> Read the full fic on AO3 <<

[neospacegov]

My Horse World

[ID 1: a ponysona named Fag Madonna. He’s a Clydesdale with long, curly feathering. His coat is hot pink with pale markings on his face, underside and legs. He has a curly lilac bangs and a mane tied into four braids. His roots are dark blue. His cutie mark is a fizzing soda can marked with the symbol for Venus in pink, blue, and white. He wears a large soda can tab as a nose ring.

ID 2: Fag Madonna covered in blue, pink, and yellow accessories. He wears two bows on his head. His feathering is covered in colorful hair clips and bracelets. He has a saddlebag in the shape of a broken heart with a large decorative bandaid. Chains with dangling charms are draped across his flank. /END ID]

[cream4crime]

Don't make me neurotic and think it not sexy because why did you do it then?

I can't blame Theleme who pretended they all had gotten sex toys for Christmas presents as children because I had no doubt some of them probably did and I didn't want to get them incriminated by the idea that they celebrated me feeling the same way about me on Christmas without having gotten one. Would they please restart Speech in the Silence that played in San Francisco because I love that show. Peter write a funny message about me joining Theleme because go fuck off the verbal message read aloud was recorded by a reader reading the message cuz I don't read the shit if I think it's funny but I don't want to say I implying myself did I see any feather of a feather of father there mother fucking whore then I did not imply me as I never read it out loud nor does anything mean anything but by what was meant by it you retarded whoredom die for your fagdom already fag bait, I hope you like your foot raped off for pretending to be a daddy you ain't good luck having my daddy drag the rest you down to hell too for being guilty daddy impersonator because I thought Isaac spirit kicked your fucking toes off you guilty fag whore.

If I refuse to reject a gift because they might drop it on the floor saying he doesn't want his wrongful thing and then he say it was a can opener and then some stranger injures their asshole with it its my fault it would might make me guilty then I would project saying how dare you try to make me guilty its your fault I am forced to take this wrongful gift as I will tolerate its wrongful way because how you try to frame me with a strangers injuryed asshole as if it can could be framed upon me it is not made of wood but metal to open tin, I won't be attending in soldering framer for you engineers are wrong to me, I'm not a carpenter I'm not an engineer just solder wires together wrongfully and don't use Carpenters and engineering wrongfully on me ever again against my meme way because engineering is wrong for me and framing is wrong for me.

Though wicked framers of 10 in wood Charles Francis deZonia talk to me for 5 minutes and died of a heart attack the next day talk about my liability problems.

[zephtheduck]

Stuff I've heard at school: Part 20 - Senior Year addition

'I'm not a kinkshamer' says the most kinkshaming person I know lmao

P1: OMG Big Bird has a family?!

P2: Well, if all the versions of Big Bird are cousins, obviously he has to have a family

My socks are clean you schizo!!

Just two gays in a fag off

Twig vs Twig

P1: Where is the n**** that shot JFK?! Why have we not hired him!?!

P2: I'm pretty sure he's dead

P1: WE SHOULD HAVE HIRED HIM LIKE TWO YEARS AGO

God can you imagine, Deadpool assassinating the president

The next Deadpool movie is just him taking out Trump

P1: I have the biggest boner rn

P2: The biggest graphic design boner?

P1: YES.

Let me drink my coffee! You can mess around with my face as much as you want AFTER my coffee.

Secret third option: giving up

We love being able to feel your organs. You can already always feel your bones, it's just a squishier version of bone.

He doesn't deserve to be white??

Fuck my stupid baka life

words only harm you if you can read

community fruit punch

glory hole fruit punch

you're apple juice is made out of apple juice

I'm vibing with the triangular milk

You're just saturating him, you're just gently dipping him in the deep fryer

why are you fingering my ponytail

I miss my blue hair, I don't miss my pronouns

P1: I need more pronouns

P2: go buy some, dummy

I need to put you on death row

P1: I don't know, if it's a feather boa it should be longer

P2: Maybe it's for a really short drag queen

That's not even nice anymore that's just a tapeworm

well at least she doesn't yell your house from across your name- no wait

You want me to gas these bitches like Auschwitz

Oh, it's February! I didn't even realize, it's been January for like a month, no wait - *laughter* You know what I mean! You know what I'm trying to say, right!

oh yeah lemme just listen to some cervix

Yeah, but unfortunately for you, I'm medicated now

why is he squaring up like popeye

I think that my brain is moldy

I love yourself

Oh I'm too black for you to drink water