#f: juicy grape?

[aesthetspaghet]

Introducing Battery Acid

⚡ Aka Battie - THE queen of corrosion! ⚡

Seriously, her insides were literally melted. Was it the leaky batteries that did it, or was it the copious amounts of Monster she drinks? 🤔

[ladybug-furby]

hello everyone!!! i got a juicy grape furby!! she came NIB, here are some pictures!!

the box was in really good condition, i’m wondering if i should put her back in there after i customize her or not…

she does not have a name yet!! if anyone has any ideas, let me know!

[pearlymel]

It's sooo far away..

WARNINGS: smut, Rafayel x gn! reader, hand job, no plot, 0.7 words— ✿

NOTES: i love whiney men :(

You watch as the grape creates a purplish juicy trail right to the very lowest of Rafayel's stomach.

"Oh you poor thing," you coo at him before using two of your fingers to follow the trail the grape left behind, and stopping right above his navel, "here?"

"Mmh.. lower." Rafayel hummed, the muscles on his abdomen flexing at your teasing touch. You raise an eyebrow, your gaze eyeing the rise of flushed red colouring his face, "lower you say?" You drawl next to his ear as you take the grape in between your thumb and forefinger, rolling the fruit against his skin tentatively.

Damn it so close, Rafayel could beg for you to stop teasing him in his state, but he won't give you that satisfaction just yet.

"Yeah... Lower..." His eyes were glued to the way your fingers brushed over the black waistband, to the golden accessories, and now to the obvious bulge showing from beneath the rough colourful fabric.

"Oh my," you click your tongue, feigning annoyance before slipping your hand beneath his waistband, which elicits a gasp out of him, "Don't—ah… n-not there—” his plea fell on deaf ears as your hand wrapped around his throbbing dick. The sensation of your fingers squeezing and stroking his cock sends shivers down his spine that he can't help but moan softly, his hand latching on your wrist, "A-aah... God..." Rafayel's grip around your wrist tightened as his back arched involuntarily. He exhaled loudly, his breathing getting heavier and more strained by the minute.

"Y-you're playing dirty," he tried to protest, but his voice came out in a near-whine as your hand glides from the base to the tip, tracing the veins along his shaft.

he gasps, his hips involuntarily bucking into your touch. He's overwhelmed, his mind foggy with lust. His hands find their way to your waist, pulling your body flush against his as he grinds against your hand, "F-Fuck... Nngh..." He closed his eyes, his head falling forward as he leaned against your chest unable to keep a low moan from leaving his lips. While your free hand found the strands of his hair.

Rafayel's heart races as you pull the clothing completely down to reveal his hard cock, his tip already flushed and leaky which made his throat go dry.

And when your hand starts moves faster, twisting and stroking his cock in a maddening rhythm. He knows he won't last much longer.

Your thumb finds his tip, and you slow down your strokes to give it more attention, giving it nice and slow circles, Rafayel buried his face in the crook of your neck, his warm breaths caressing your skin, as his hands moved to fumble with the ties on your dress. "I'm... So close, gonna cum—”

“aw, already?”

He groaned against your chest, a low whine that sounded embarrassingly needy. His hands still struggled with the laces, his brain fuzzy and filled with thoughts. "Shut... up," he grumbled and muttered, lifting his head up to bite your shoulder in a slightly petty retaliation. "Your fault for... Nnnggghh...” all words died on his tongue when your hand sensually moved down to squeeze and massage his balls—oh and the pretty whines leaving his lips were unforgettable.

“Wait—! Stopstop—” and he cries out as he feels the first waves of his orgasm approaching. His abdomen tenses, and his thighs tremble as he fights to maintain control. But with your hand continuing its relentless stroking, he can't hold back any longer.

Before he could stop himself, His cock pulses in your hand, releasing streams of hot cum. He throws his head back, while letting out whiney moans. You gently halt your hand to kiss his cheek and he pouts in retrun.

“want me to clean you up?” You stick your tongue out, ready to lean down to lick him clean but he grips your hair before your could continue, making him face you up to meet his dark gaze.

“You like to tease me? We'll see who's the bigger guy after i make you cry next.”

[forkfulofflavor]

Burrata Bruschetta with Peaches and Tomatoes Ingredients: For the Vinaigrette: 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 garlic clove, minced 1 teaspoon honey 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 10 twists of fresh ground black pepper 1 tablespoon fresh basil leaves, chopped Pinch of crushed red pepper flakes (optional) For the Bruschetta: 1 loaf Italian or French bread, sliced about 1/2-inch thick (8-12 thin slices) 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil (for brushing) 8 oz burrata cheese Fresh ground black pepper (for seasoning) Flaky sea salt (for seasoning) 1 1/2 cups peaches (2-3 medium-sized), diced 1 1/2 cups cherry or grape tomatoes (about 10 oz), halved or quartered 2 tablespoons fresh basil leaves, chopped Balsamic glaze (for drizzling) Directions: In a small mason jar or container with a tight-fitting lid, combine all vinaigrette ingredients. Shake vigorously until well combined. In a medium bowl, add diced peaches and tomatoes. Pour vinaigrette over and toss thoroughly to coat. Set aside to marinate while preparing the toasted bread. Preheat the oven to 400°F (200°C). Arrange bread slices in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet. Brush tops with olive oil and bake for 8-10 minutes, or until crisp and golden brown. Once the bread slices have cooled, start assembling the bruschetta. Tear small pieces from the burrata cheese and place them on each slice of bread. Season with flaky sea salt and fresh ground black pepper. Spoon the peach and tomato mixture on top of the burrata. Arrange the bruschetta on a serving platter or board. Sprinkle with fresh chopped basil and drizzle with balsamic glaze for a finishing touch. Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cooking Time: 10 minutes | Total Time: 25 minutes Kcal: 180 per serving | Servings: 8-12 bruschettas Burrata Bruschetta with Peaches and Tomatoes is a delightful summer appetizer that brings together the sweetness of ripe peaches, the juiciness of tomatoes, and the creamy texture of burrata. This dish, topped with a fresh basil-infused vinaigrette and a drizzle of balsamic glaze, provides a harmonious blend of flavors and colors perfect for any occasion. Whether you’re hosting a summer gathering or simply enjoying a quiet evening at home, this bruschetta is a light yet satisfying way to savor the season’s best produce. Paired with crisp toasted bread and aromatic basil, each bite is a celebration of fresh, seasonal ingredients that will leave your guests craving more.

[btyibhlder]

Pink Cotton Candied Grapes 🍇✨

A delightful treat combining the fun of cotton candy with the juicy sweetness of grapes!

Ingredients:

2 cups white granulated sugar

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup light corn syrup

Crushed hard candies (like Jolly Ranchers)

Green grapes

Pink food coloring (optional)

Cotton candy flavoring (optional)

Instructions:

1️⃣ Prep the Grapes: Ensure the grapes are thoroughly dried. Skewer each grape with a bamboo stick for easy handling.

2️⃣ Candy Mixture: In a large saucepan, combine the sugar, water, and corn syrup. Add a few drops of pink food coloring and a bit of cotton candy flavoring for that signature look and taste.

3️⃣ Heat: Stir the mixture over medium-low heat until the sugar dissolves completely. Then, insert a candy thermometer and increase the heat to medium-high.

4️⃣ Boil to Hard-Crack Stage: Continue cooking without stirring until the mixture reaches 300°F (hard-crack stage), which should take about 15-20 minutes.

5️⃣ Coat the Grapes: Once the candy reaches the correct temperature, quickly dip each grape into the candy mixture, ensuring it's fully coated.

6️⃣ Crushed Candy Coating: Immediately roll the coated grapes in crushed hard candies for an extra layer of flavor and crunch.

7️⃣ Cooling: Place the coated grapes on a silicone baking mat to cool and harden. The silicone mat prevents sticking and allows for easy removal.

Important Notes:

Safety First: Handling hot sugar syrup can be dangerous. This activity is recommended for adults or with adult supervision.

Moisture-Free Grapes: Make sure the grapes are completely dry before coating to ensure the candy adheres properly.

Enjoy Fresh: These candied grapes are best enjoyed soon after preparation to maintain the best texture and flavor.

Indulge in the playful and delicious experience of Pink Cotton Candied Grapes, a treat that's as fun to make as it is to eat!

Additional Information:

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Cook Time: 20 minutes

Total Time: 35 minutes

Servings: 8

Nutrition Facts:

150 calories, 38g carbs, 0g protein, 0g fat, 0g sat fat, 0mg cholesterol, 20mg sodium, 50mg potassium, 0g fiber, 38g sugar, 0% DV vitamin A, 2% DV vitamin C, 0% DV calcium, 2% DV iron

[kbeautynotes]

rom&nd Juicy Lasting Tint

I love discovering lip shades that look good on my skin tone. Also, up until now I mainly used matte lip products as I thought they looked better on me. But this is until I tried these romand tints which are absolutely gorgeous.

These are no. 25 Bare Grape from their Juicy Lasting Tint Bare Juicy Series, and no. 18 Mellow Peach from Juicy Lasting Tint Riped Fruit Series (2020 F/W Collection).

Full review and swatches on my blog post: rom&nd Juicy Lasting Tint

What's your favorite product from rom&nd?

[vapehk1]

Diamond 10000 Disposable Vape Review: Unveiling the Sparkle of Extended Vaping Pleasure

The Diamond 10000 Disposable Vape is revolutionizing the vaping world with its extended lifespan and impressive flavor range. Our in-depth review delves into the unique features that make this device a standout choice for vapers seeking convenience without compromising on quality. From its sleek, user-friendly design to its exceptional battery life and diverse flavor options, we explore every aspect to provide a comprehensive overview. Whether you're a seasoned vaper or new to the scene, discover how the Diamond 10000 elevates the disposable vape experience. Diamond 10000 Disposable Vape Specifications Specifications Details Puffs 10000 Dimension 85.05×47.9×24.71mm Battery 650mAh Capacity 18mL Resistance 1.0Ω Recharging Type-C Weight 70.5±1g Design and Build Quality of Diamond 10000 Disposable Vape The Diamond 10000 Disposable Vape exhibits a remarkable blend of design innovation and robust build quality. Its chassis, crafted from durable materials, ensures longevity and resilience against the wear and tear of daily use. The sleek and modern aesthetic is not just about looks; it's ergonomically designed for a comfortable grip, enhancing the overall user experience. In terms of build, the vape's structure is engineered to withstand common issues such as leaks and overheating, thanks to its advanced internal mechanisms. The attention to detail in the construction is evident, with each component fitting seamlessly to create a cohesive and efficient unit. The device's portability is a significant plus, making it an ideal choice for on-the-go vaping without sacrificing performance. Overall, the Diamond 10000's design and build quality set it apart in the disposable vape market, offering users a reliable and stylish vaping solution. Diamond 10000 Disposable Vape Flavor - Strawberry Watermelon: A classic fusion that balances the sweetness of strawberries with the refreshing taste of watermelon, creating a delightful summer-inspired blend. - Blueberry: A straightforward yet rich flavor, delivering the authentic and slightly tangy taste of ripe blueberries. - Cranberry Grapes: An innovative mix combining the tartness of cranberries with the sweet and juicy notes of grapes, resulting in a surprisingly harmonious taste. - Taro Ice Cream: A unique and exotic option, this flavor combines the creamy, nutty taste of taro with the smoothness of ice cream, offering a dessert-like experience. - Mint: A crisp and clean flavor, perfect for those who enjoy a refreshing and cooling sensation with every puff. - Blue Raspberry Lemon: A zesty and tangy combination, where the tartness of lemon perfectly complements the sweet and bold taste of blue raspberry. - Peach Mango: A tropical blend that mixes the succulence of mangoes with the sweet, fuzzy notes of peach, creating a sun-kissed flavor profile. - Watermelon: A pure and simple watermelon flavor, delivering the fresh and juicy taste of this beloved fruit. - Strawberry Kiwi: A sweet and tangy pairing, where the lush taste of strawberries meets the exotic tartness of kiwi. - Mixed Berries: A berry lover's dream, this flavor combines a variety of berry tastes, resulting in a rich and multi-layered vaping experience. Pros and Cons of Diamond 10000 Disposable Vape 1. Pros - Long-Lasting Puffs: With 10,000 puffs, it offers an extended vaping experience, reducing the frequency of replacements needed. - Diverse Flavor Range: The wide variety of flavors, from classic to exotic, caters to all taste preferences, ensuring a satisfying experience for every user. - Large E-liquid Capacity: An 18mL capacity means more vapejuice and less frequent refilling, ideal for regular users. - Strong Battery Life: Equipped with a 650mAh battery, it provides a consistent and reliable power supply for prolonged use. - Compact and Portable Design: Its sleek and ergonomic design makes it easy to carry, suitable for on-the-go vaping. - User-Friendly: Simple to use, making it perfect for both beginners and seasoned vapers. - Quality Build: Durable construction ensures the device can withstand regular use, offering value for money. - Rechargeable: The Type-C recharging capability adds convenience, allowing users to recharge the device easily. 2. Cons - Non-Refillable: Being a disposable device, it cannot be refilled with vape juice, which might not suit those who prefer using their own e-liquid blends. - Limited Customization: Offers less flexibility in terms of adjusting wattage or temperature settings compared to more advanced models. - Battery Recharging: While the battery is strong, needing to recharge a disposable vape might be a downside for users seeking a completely maintenance-free experience. - Environmental Concerns: As with most disposable vapes, environmental impact is a concern due to single-use plastic and electronic waste. - Weight: At 70.5g, it might feel heavier than some other disposable vapes, which could be a downside for users preferring a lighter device. - Price Point: Depending on the market, it might be priced higher than other disposables, which could be a deciding factor for budget-conscious vapers. - Resistance Limitation: A fixed resistance of 1.0Ω means less control over the vaping experience compared to customizable devices. Verdict In summary, the Diamond 10000 Disposable Vape stands out as a noteworthy player in the disposable vape market, particularly for its extended vaping pleasure and diverse flavor offerings. The device's hallmark feature is its impressive 10,000 puff count, supported by a substantial 18mL e-liquid capacity and a strong 650mAh battery. This combination ensures long-lasting usage, making it a practical choice for regular vapers. The range of flavors, from classic favorites like Strawberry Watermelon to unique blends like Taro Ice Cream, caters to a wide spectrum of taste preferences, enhancing the overall vaping experience. Additionally, the sleek and ergonomic design, coupled with quality build materials, makes the device both stylish and durable. While the Diamond 10000 scores high on convenience and user-friendliness, its non-refillable nature and lack of customization options might limit its appeal to those who prefer more control over their vaping experience. Also, the environmental impact of disposable vapes and the slightly heavier build could be potential drawbacks for some users. Overall, the Diamond 10000 Disposable Vape is a commendable choice for those seeking a reliable, flavorful, and hassle-free vaping experience. Its blend of longevity, flavor variety, and user convenience makes it a sparkling gem in the realm of disposable vapes. Read the full article

[ishita-tripathi]

From Apple to Zucchini: Unleashing the Green Power of Farm Fresh Goodness!

et ready to embark on a journey through nature's alphabet, one letter at a time, and discover the power of wholesome goodness of farm fresh fruits and vegetables!

A - Apples: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, and for good reason! Packed with fiber, antioxidants, and essential vitamins, apples contribute to a healthy digestive system and promote heart health. At VegEase, you can find a variety of juicy and crisp apples to tantalize your taste buds.

B - Broccoli: Bursting with nutrients like vitamin C, vitamin K, and fiber, broccoli is a powerhouse of goodness. Incorporate this cruciferous vegetable into your meals for immune-boosting benefits and to support bone health. Order fresh broccoli from VegEase for a delectable addition to your recipes.

C - Carrots: Known for their high beta-carotene content, carrots are excellent for maintaining healthy vision. A great source of antioxidants and fiber, making them a must-have in your diet. Order fresh, crunchy carrots online from VegEase and enjoy their natural sweetness.

D - Dragon Fruit: This exotic fruit not only looks stunning with its vibrant colors but also offers a range of health benefits. Explore our selection of fresh dragon fruit at VegEase for a tropical delight.

E - Eggplant: With its rich purple hue, eggplant adds colour and flavour to your meals while providing numerous health benefits. Enhance your culinary repertoire with farm-fresh eggplant available at VegEase.

F - Figs: Known for their natural sweetness and delicate texture, figs are a delightful addition to your diet. They are a great source of dietary fiber and provide essential minerals like potassium and magnesium.

G - Grapes: Whether you prefer red, green, or black grapes, these tiny bursts of flavor pack a punch when it comes to health benefits. Grapes promote heart health and provide a natural source of hydration. Enjoy the juicy goodness of fresh grapes delivered to your doorstep by VegEase.

H - Honeydew Melon: Quench your thirst and replenish your body with the hydrating properties of honeydew melon.

I - Iron-rich Spinach: This leafy green vegetable is an excellent source of iron, essential for healthy blood circulation and energy production. Add the goodness of spinach to your diet with VegEase's fresh and vibrant spinach leaves.

J - Juicy Oranges: Oranges are a citrus powerhouse, brimming with vitamin C and other essential nutrients. Savor the tangy sweetness of freshly picked oranges by ordering them online from VegEase.

K - Kale: This leafy green vegetable has gained popularity for its exceptional nutritional profile. Kale is loaded with vitamins A, C, and K, as well as calcium and antioxidants.

L - Luscious Strawberries: Strawberries are rich in antioxidants, fiber, and vitamin C, making them a great choice for maintaining healthy skin and supporting overall well-being.

M - Mushrooms: Not only do mushrooms add depth and flavor to dishes, but they also provide essential nutrients like vitamin D, potassium, and antioxidants. Incorporate the earthy goodness of mushrooms into your meals by ordering them online from VegEase.

N - Nutritious Blueberries: These tiny blue wonders are packed with antioxidants and are often referred to as nature's brain food. Get your hands on fresh blueberries by ordering from VegEase.

O - Onions: A staple in almost every culinary creation, onions not only add flavor but also offer numerous health benefits. Rich in antioxidants and sulfur compounds, onions possess anti-inflammatory properties and may contribute to heart health.

P - Pumpkin: Fall in love with the vibrant colors and rich flavors of pumpkins. Whether you roast, puree, or bake them, pumpkins provide a healthy dose of goodness.

Q - Quinoa: Although not a fruit or vegetable, quinoa deserves a spot on this list due to its incredible nutritional value. This ancient grain is a complete protein and offers a range of essential amino acids.

R - Raspberries: Enjoy the sweet and tart flavor of raspberries while reaping the health benefits they offer. These delicate berries are rich in antioxidants, fiber, and vitamins.

S - Sweet Potatoes: Bursting with vitamins, fiber, and antioxidants, sweet potatoes are a nutritious and tasty addition to any meal. Buy fresh sweet potatoes online from VegEase and explore their culinary versatility.

T - Tomatoes: Whether you prefer juicy red tomatoes or the tanginess of cherry tomatoes, these versatile fruits are a kitchen staple. Tomatoes are packed with lycopene, a powerful antioxidant that supports heart health. Explore VegEase's selection of fresh tomatoes and add a pop of color to your dishes.

U - Uplifting Citrus Fruits: Citrus fruits such as lemons, limes, and grapefruits are known for their refreshing flavors and high vitamin C content. They boost immunity, aid digestion, and add zesty flair to your culinary creations.

V - Vibrant Bell Peppers: Bell peppers come in a rainbow of colors and offer a range of health benefits. These crunchy and flavorful vegetables are rich in antioxidants, vitamins, and fiber. Add a burst of vibrancy to your meals with fresh bell peppers from VegEase.

W - Watermelon: Beat the heat with the hydrating and delicious goodness of watermelon. Enjoy the juicy sweetness of farm-fresh watermelon by ordering online from VegEase.

X - Xenial Papaya: This tropical fruit is packed with digestive enzymes, vitamins, and antioxidants. Embrace the extraordinary properties of papaya by ordering fresh ones from VegEase.

Y - Yellow Squash: Add a splash of color to your dishes with yellow squash. Discover the culinary possibilities of yellow squash with VegEase's fresh produce.

Z - Zucchini: Last but not least, zucchini completes our journey through the alphabet of farm-fresh goodness. Explore the culinary versatility of zucchini by ordering it online from VegEase.

Conclusion:

The alphabet of farm-fresh goodness is filled with a plethora of fruits and vegetables, each offering unique health benefits. VegEase, your trusted online grocery store, brings you a wide variety of farm-fresh produce to unleash the power of nature's bounty. From apples to zucchinis, let your plate be a canvas of vibrant colors and flavors. Order fresh fruits and vegetables online from VegEase and embark on a journey towards a healthier and more flavorful lifestyle.

[funkiefurbies]

I customized this juicy grape furb! Im deciding on a name, and the brain storm with my friends resulted in the names rave queen, disco bitch, and xanax. Any better ones? Hes got a total futuristic cyber punk vibe, and hes super chubby and mute!

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Dionysus

Hey y’all, sorry for going dark! I’m alright, almost completely recovered in fact! I just got so sleepy while my body was fighting stuff off and couldn’t really work up the energy to write... Still going to be spotty for a short time, but I’m glad to have gotten this done. See ya soon!

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus

Lucifer

Well, this mortal stumbled out of the portal covered in glitter, body paint, and carrying a red solo cup… which they proceeded to stare at like, "'ell sshhit… Thiz iz sum stron s'uff…"

First impressions were not on their side here.

He spent a depressingly long amount of time more or less assuming that the MC was a drunken f-up and spent the first few months trying to make them more… presentable.

But like… How do you stop someone from acting like a drunk fool when they can turn any drink they touch alcoholic???

For months they would show up to meetings buzzed or stumbling, all smiles and all giggles but HORRIBLY unprofessional, and he just couldn't stand it!

But then he found out their little secret…

Assassination threats befall the exchange students all the time. Most of them are dealt with quickly but some (through skill or dumb luck) manage to slip through...

He had been walking with the MC through their new vineyard in the House's courtyard, yet again trying to lecture them about their drunken behavior, when suddenly the two were ambushed!

Ten or so heavily armored demons dropped down from the sky to attack them! Lucifer was so preoccupied that he got cornered by three of them and it took him a hot minute to destroy them.

When he looked back at the mortal (who had been fighting a 1-on-7) he was certain they'd have been kidnapped or worse…

But he saw that they had already cut down two attackers with their weapon with ease. The other five were rolling in the dirt, babbling about inexplicable terrors and imaginary pain as their minds succumbed to madness…

Meanwhile, the MC just stood in the middle of it all with the icy glare of someone who’s just revealed how stone-cold sober they've always been under the surface...

When they turned back to him, they put their usual ditzy smile back on over the tormented wails of the demons around them...

MC: Whoopsie… Gotta little mad there. 🙂

He uh… took a big ol'step off their back after that. Surprisingly, they're more pleasant (and less dangerous) "drunk" than they are sober…

Mammon

Oh HELL yeah!! Lucifer actually gave him a mortal that knows how to party!!

Admittedly, they looked like utter trash when they first met, like, "Hey, I've been at this party since DAWN" trash, but they gave him one good look and pulled together a surprisingly hot smile.

MC: "-ey yer cute… Ya like strip poker?"

Spoken like someone else who also makes shit decisions… They were going to get along just fine!

And they did. The MC to him was that one friend that's always down for anything. Just anything. Whenever. Wherever.

He wants to try sneaking into Lucifer's room to steal stuff? Sure, what time?

He wants to take a mattress and see if he can ride it down the grand staircase of the palace? Alright, we bringin' pillows too?

He needs to set up another scheme that's gotta involve live rats and box of tiny hats and monocles?? That's oddly specific but count them in!!

Sometimes he honestly can't tell if they're laid back or just crave chaos... but it works out fine for him either way so who cares? 🤷‍♀️

And if you think normal Mammon is a pain in the ass for Lucifer? Check out drunk Mammon. All the same urges but literally none of the (marginal) competence!!

At one point, the eldest ended up stringing both Mammon and the MC from the ceiling after they both barged into his office looking for Goldie… while he was still in there… watching them wander around aimlessly calling out for a piece of plastic like it was a missing puppy…

They end up together on the ceiling a lot come to think of it, but hey, at least now he has some company. 😌

Leviathan

Thinks they're the most normal normie to have ever normed on this normie planet!!!

No, seriously. They're a billion times worse than Asmo!! All they want to do is go to parties and drink all the time! What kind of use is he to someone like that??

… That being said they ARE pretty fun to be around… And their sake is WAY better than anything he could get off Akuzon!!

They also like karaoke too! So at least he has someone else to go with (even if they get so drunk they can’t remember any lyrics and just belt barely coherent discount Mariah Carey vocals behind him...)

Of course, the real fun between these two is everybody else getting to watch a couple of the Devildom's sloppiest drunks attempt to communicate with each other…

Levi: MMM-*hic*-MCCC…!!! *throws himself at them from across the bar*

MC: What Leviachan??? 😨 Did the chair kick you off?!

Levi: Nooo! *pokes their cheek* I wanna-I wanna tell you sometin'...! *tries pulling them closer*

MC: Whaa? Secrets?? *leans in eagerly*

Levi: Mammon used all ma money on’a pyramid scheme a thou-zand years ago… AND HE STILL WON'T PAY ME BAAA-!!! 😭😭 *starts shaking them violently*

MC: *getting flung around like a limp noodle* Waaaat?! Nooo!!! I'm so sowwy!! 😢

Mammon: *watching it all go down right next to him* 😑 Ya guys need some water… I'm cuttin' ya off, got it?

MC: 😱 Shut yer whore mouth, criminal!! *starts pelting him with pretzel bites*

Levi: 😤 Yah!! *joins in*

Good thing he's a shut-in, because the hangovers he gets after those escapades are unreal…

Satan

A little concerned for their liver, honestly… How much damage have they already done to the poor thing...?

But at the same time, he'll be damned if they don't make some utterly fantastic wine!

Alcokinesis wasn't a power he would have pegged a demigod to have but apparently the great art of making drinks comes from their godly DNA.

When they first met, he was trying to get the MC to act less slovenly but made the mistake of agreeing to a wager: he'd let them dress however they pleased if they could give him the BEST drink he'd ever tasted.

Now, Satan isn't a huge drinker (thank you terrible alcohol tolerance), but he's still a man of fine tastes. Plus, he's sampled Demonus from Diavolo royal stock before. They should not have won…

But on that day, he had to let them go to RAD in a pink blanket toga... 😑 Their wine is just THAT good.

He hates to admit it, but they've gotten him drunk more times than he could probably count too… He's not a huge fan of clubbing with them and the others, but if they bring over a bottle from their vineyard he just can't resist. They're a master of their craft, truly.

And it's a good thing he likes their drinks so much, because if they called him, "Kitty-boy," when he's sober, he may have just become a sour grape himself…

They also may or may not have copious amounts of blackmail material of him either meowing between sentences, sobbing over some fictional character he likes, pole dancing on dares….

Yeah, he's been trying to destroy their phone for months now. If Lucifer were to see ANY of that, he's done for… 😣

He has also been meaning to ask them about other aspects of their abilities, their father is also the God of Madness after all, but anytime he tries to bring it up they shove another glass in his hand and tell him not to kill the mood...

Eh. What's the harm in having another drink, right? 🤷‍♀️

Asmodeus 

Honey. He's MET Dionysus. He's been to a Dio-party or two and they're INSANE. He could not be more thrilled by this!!!

He practically scooped them up on the first night that they were in the House and it’s practically been a nonstop rave between these two ever since. They’re like the party twin he never knew he needed!!

He absolutely abuses their ability to turn pretty much any drink they touch into alcohol at clubs. It makes the nights so much easier on the wallet PLUS it makes an excellent little party trick to impress the succubi! Who doesn’t want a free drink? 😏

And can he just say that their drinks are better? Just flat out amazing! If it weren’t so unhealthy he’d consider drinking nothing but their booze and wine for the rest of his days, Satan’s certainly getting close to it.

But little does Satan know, he’s not even getting the GOOD stuff...

There’s the normal wine: grapes picked from the vineyard, hand squeezed, then magically helped through the fermenting process. But their real good stuff? They were given enchanted oak barrels from their father and anything that comes out of those is worth starting a WAR over. 😩

He knows, because he gifted an extra bottle to Diavolo once and Barbs came to him the very next day demanding to know what vineyard had produced it with the look of man willing to annex a small nation...

Asmo had to beg Lucifer to talk to Diavolo after the butler more or less kidnapped the MC back to the Castle… Devil knows even Barbs wouldn’t ever be able to reproduce their wine, so they could have been locked there for eternity!!

Thankfully, he got his party-buddy back and their debauchery continued! (Just now with Barbatos following them around sometimes like he’s trying to gather state secrets... It’s an impossible task but he hasn’t given up yet, bless his black heart.)

Beelzebub

He isn't much bothered by their carefree nature, at least they seem to be having fun with his family which he appreciates. 🙂

To be honest, though, he nearly ate them when they first met because they smell like freshly peeled grapes… and for good reason.

By their third day at the House they had (somehow) planted and cultivated a full on vineyard in the courtyard. Hell, the wall growing to their bedroom balcony was covered in grapevines!! Always ripe and completely healthy in defiance of the lack of sun... Whatever magic they used was strong.

And, of course, their grapes were also delicious! Easily among the best fruits he's ever tasted! Every cluster is ridiculously plump, juicy, and sweet like little droplets of pure Heaven… 🤤

When their fruit first ripened, the MC came out with a basket to collect some only to find Beel had gouged himself on over half of their crop!!!

… which may have been why he got snared up on one of the courtyard walls by pissed off grapevines... Even with all his strength, he couldn't break through them and had to wait for Lucifer to cut him down… 😔 

From then on, Beel was pretty much the pesky rabbit to the MC's harvest. They had to set up traps and magical barriers to keep him from their precious grapes…!! Which inevitably meant one of his brothers had to come rescue him from their furious vines at least once a week... 🙄

SOMETIMES, the MC will bring him along to help harvest with them with the deal that he can have an extra basket for however many he helps them pick. But the second he takes a bite he shouldn't, it’s back on the wall!

Out of the vineyard, they're nice enough. But put some grapes between these two and they're mortal enemies… STOP messing with their plants, Beel!! 😤

Belphegor 

So… this drunken fool is supposed to get him out of the attic? Never mind, this is never going to work…

He was SEVERELY underwhelmed when the "human" finally made it up the steps. This was who they decided to bring for their exchange program? They seemed like they could barely stand!

Naturally, he figured all the better for him. They probably wouldn't even last that long! 

Some poor, incompetent human falling victim to a demon out there? Diavolo's reputation would in tatters and he wouldn't even have to lift a finger! (His favorite way of doing things really 😌).

But… they just kept coming back? Like. Nothing was killing them….! How guarded were they keeping this moron?? 

Or… maybe it was something else?

Sure, the MC seemed like a drunken idiot but there were times when he'd swear that they were just… too aware to be sloshed…

MC: *suddenly stops smiling at him mid-conversation and looks him in the eye* You tilt your head when you lie. You know that?

How can someone so cheerful ALSO be so unnerving…?

So really, he should have seen their sudden heel-turn after they opened the door coming. There he was, fully intending to take them by surprise and choke them after a hug…

...and they knocked him down, climbed onto his back like a spider monkey, and rode him around like a bucking bull using his horns like handlebars!!

It wouldn’t have been AS humiliating if they didn’t also keep shouting things like "Giddiyap!" And "Yee-haw!!"

It took him a whole month to be sure that any and all footage of that nightmare was erased and he STILL hates the MC quite a bit for it…. But he's too scared to attack them now, so…

The lesson here? It's not a fair fight when one side’s crazy... 😔😒

[burade]

Roasted grapes are sophisticated. Toss grapes with olive oil, salt, and pepper, and roast them on a sheet pan for about 30 minutes at 425°F. The grapes will get blistered and caramelized on the outside, and extra juicy and practically jammy on the inside.

[abramsbooks]

RECIPE: Beets, Tomatoes, and Cilantro (from Salad Freak by Jess Damuck)

Sarah Carey (the food director at Martha Stewart, formerly my boss, always my second mom) introduced me to this flavor combination. I think she’s single-handedly proved to me that adding cilantro to any combination of vegetables is not only delicious, but feels fresh and revelatory every time it’s done.

This recipe is a perfect way to savor that sweet spot at the end of summer and the beginning of fall when the nights start to get cooler and the last of the juicy tomatoes are plentiful at the market. Get greedy. Buy more than you think you need, or scramble to save the ones left in your garden before the first frost. Serve this with a simple steak or roasted chicken, or eat it alone until there are no more tomatoes left to eat.

PRODUCE

2 bunches red or yellow beets (about 9 medium)

3 to 4 large heirloom tomatoes

1 pint (280 g) cherry tomatoes

½ cup (15 g) fresh cilantro leaves

PANTRY

Extra-virgin olive oil (this is a great time to use your fancy oil)

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Flaky salt

COOK: Preheat the oven to 425°F (220°C).

Roast 2 bunches trimmed beets in foil packets with oil and kosher salt and pepper for about 60 minutes.

PREP: I recommend using a plastic cutting board that can be easily washed for this part. Also, if you have a pair of latex gloves handy, you could wear them to keep your hands from getting stained. If you have different-colored beets, you’ll want to keep them separate. Using a paper towel, rub the skins gently to remove them—they should come off quite easily. Clean up your mess and then thinly slice 2 bunches red or yellow beets.

Thinly slice 3 to 4 large heirloom tomatoes and slice 1 pint (280 g) cherry tomatoes in half.

ASSEMBLE AND SERVE: Arrange the beets and tomatoes on plates or a platter. Drizzle with oil. Sprinkle with the cilantro leaves and a little black pepper and flaky salt.

STYLING TIP This is a great time to showcase a variety of tomatoes. Different colors, shapes, and sizes transform this dish into something really striking and completely irresistible—the more the merrier.

One of TIME’s most anticipated cookbooks of Spring 2022

One of Food & Wine’s best cookbooks of Spring 2022

A USA TODAY and PUBLISHERS WEEKLY bestseller!

Delicious and beautiful recipes from Martha Stewart’s personal salad chef and the self-proclaimed “Bob Ross of salads.”

Offering more than 100 inspired recipes, recipe developer and food stylist Jess Damuck shares her passion for making truly delicious salads. Salad Freak encourages readers to discover and embrace their own salad obsessions. With the right recipes, you will want to eat salad for every meal and never get bored. By playfully combining color, texture, shape, and, of course, flavor, Damuck demonstrates how a little extra effort in the kitchen can be meditative, delicious, and fun. The recipes—such as her Citrus Breakfast Salad; Tea-Smoked Chicken and Bitter Greens Salad; Caesar Salad Pizza Salad; and Roasted Grapes, Ricotta, Croutons, and Endive Salad—are meant to be hearty enough for a meal all year round but versatile enough to be incorporated into a larger menu. For Damuck, the perfect salad balances each bite, with something tart enough to twinge your cheeks, something sweet to balance out the bitter, and something with a little salty crunch to finish. Salad Freak is not just about eating to feel good; it’s about confidently combining flavors to create fresh, bright, and satisfying meals that you will want to make again and again.

For more information, click here.

[ariparri]

Aahh it's here, it's finally here TwT

This story was written by cursedautumn on Instagram as her part of a story/art trade.

Woke up today to see that she was able to finish it and I just love it ToT

I just adore this ship so much and I'm happy the first kiss scenario exists through a story!

The original scenario has Veruca a bit more shy when asking for another kiss before Diego just smothers her and starts calling her cute. But this, this was perfect!!

And I think that last bit of the story may be a nod to Avis, Veruca's great grandmother, due to her patronus/symbolism being a blue butterfly. If it is, that's just so cute!

The June evening of that year was absolutely perfect for a date: the sky was clear, dark blue and starry, and on the horizon there was a strip of sun so bright ruby color that it was painful to look at it. The air was heavy with the scent of pine and wood, and the flower beds flanking the Westside Park paths were filled with scarlet roses, yellow tulips, and white peonies-in short, a beautiful profusion of flowers. In the twilight, the gazebo, festooned with glittering garlands and lit with candles, looked like a real magic house, and Veruca, who came here to meet Diego, marveled at the beauty and romantic atmosphere of this place. Diego had a way of surprising her, even though this was probably their tenth date. By the way, they never kissed, and he was still eager to give her a real holiday every time. Romantic!

"Do you like it?" Diego asked coquettishly, adjusting the collar of his snow-white shirt. Veruca nodded confidently. "I told you, this is a great place for a date!"

"And you were right as always!" she laughed. They began to pull out of a wicker round basket the provisions they had brought with them for the date: a bottle of rose wine, expensive cheese, a mind-blowing scented baguette with a thin crisp crust, glasses, a bunch of ripe grapes and a bag of cherries, chocolates and napkins. "I think there are more garlands here than there are stars in the sky."

"And the brightest star is right here, right next to me," he said. Veruca smiled: her boyfriend offered a few standard, but very pleasant, compliments. Diego took one of the cherries in his mouth and took a big bite. A drop of juice rolled down his chin and was about to fall on his shirt, but he caught it and wiped it with his finger so that Veruca blushed involuntarily and turned away, pretending to be very busy looking at the wine in the bottle.

She and Diego had been dating for quite some time, and she couldn't even remember exactly when it all started. Their relationship flowed like a river: from date to date, hugs, dancing, talking — but so far without kissing or anything more daring. It seemed strange to Veruca that she, a grown-up girl, didn't kiss her boyfriend, but given the circumstances, she could be forgiven for that. And then, what's the point of a relationship if you have to force yourself into it? Diego didn't force her. He just waited. Veruca understood what he wanted, and she often found herself wanting to finally expand the horizons of possibilities. But she just didn't feel ready for it yet. Maybe it will happen today, maybe tomorrow, maybe next month. Veruca didn't make a wish. She had learned to expect anything from herself.

Although, frankly, she liked Diego not only in platonic terms. As a man, he was remarkable, but his merits were not limited to this. He was a rare beauty: dark, fit, muscular, with long, thick hair the color of bitter chocolate and pleasant dark eyes. When he undressed, smiled, ruffled his hair, Veruca was ready to devour him with her eyes, and inside she had a burning desire to kiss him. However, she held back. Controlled herself.

"Well, let's get started!" Diego said solemnly, picking up the wine bottle and carefully uncorking it. Veruca followed his strong, beautiful hands with her eyes. "Shall we start with a baguette with cheese? I'm starving."

They sat down at a table in the gazebo next to each other. The sun had set, and Westside Park was plunged into a romantic haze. They unwrapped the thin paper that served as the packaging for the baguette. Dark cherries and transparent grapes glittered enticingly on their round, glittering sides. Diego poured the wine into the glasses — the liquid sparkling and fresh as a morning lake.

There was silence for a while. Veruca sipped her wine. It was sweet, with hints of apricot, not too cloying or tart. Her throat burned pleasantly. It wasn't that she was getting drunk very quickly, but tonight the wine was particularly relaxing, and she quickly stopped thinking, stopped worrying, and leaned her elbows on the table with an exhalation. Diego didn't say a word, but his eyes said more: he looked at her with love and adoration. With each passing second, Veruca felt lighter and lighter, and wanted to laugh, jump up, and dance. She stared at his handsome face, at his broad shoulders, at his dark gold hair…

"Hey, honey!" Diego snapped his fingers in front of her face and smiled. "What are you thinking, mmm?" Veruca smiled and caught his hand. "Nothing, really."

"How's the wine?" he asked, rolling a seductive smile on his lips. Veruca shrugged, pretending to be only mildly impressed.: "Very pleasant. Light. I love that kind of thing."

"I know," Diego grinned, and moved closer to her. Veruca took a slice of bread and took a bite; it was fresh, crisp, and delicious. "Damn, this wine is crazy! I got it from a distant relative of mine, who works for Limmiani wine products."

"Oh, you're related to a Limmiani worker?" Veruca asked in a flirtatious tone. "I'm definitely not going to leave you now!"

They laughed as they sipped their wine and ate crusty bread, tender cheese, juicy, honey-sweet grapes and cherries, and hard but fast-melting chocolate. The sky overhead shimmered and glowed with cold bluish stars. It got a little cold. Veruca shivered, she forgot her coat at home. Diego noticed this and immediately asked her to take his jacket; she accepted the offer and did not regret it at all — the fabric was soft and warm, it smelled pleasantly of perfume and flowers. They sat there for half an hour, enjoying each other's relatively intimate physical company, until Diego asked her to dance.

"Dance? Here?" Veruca laughed, feeling a little light. It was already dark and not so warm. "That's nice, but I'm not sure I can waltz in my heels."

"Then take them off," Diego suggested. "The grass is soft, there are no insects here. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Veruca hesitated a little, but finally obeyed and kicked off her shoes. She put her bare feet on the ground. The grass was still warm, warmed by the afternoon sun, and very soft, like Wilhelmina's blue velvet dress, which she loved to wear on winter visits and of which she was insanely proud. For a second, Veruca thought she was going to fall, but she managed to stay on her feet and held out her arms to Diego.…

And at that moment, music began to pour out of nowhere. Pleasant, clear as a bird's song, it shimmered and flowed like a stream — a real delight for the ears! She relaxed, and she and Diego began a romantic dance in Westside Park, under the stars and trees.

Their dance was somewhat awkward, a little drunk, but pleasant and somehow natural, as if it wasn't some kind of surprise. Numerous golden lights blurred in Veruca's eyes. The scent of flowers, honey, and just-begun summer filled her lungs like fresh sweet wine filled a crystal glass. Veruca remembered the time she and Diego had been to the Hogwarts summer festival. It smelled like summer there, too. Memories intertwined with the melody, and suddenly it dawned on her — the same music played at the disco when they won the title of the best couple of the festival! Veruca wanted to laugh, but she didn't: she didn't want to ruin such a tender and romantic moment. Diego even remembered the music they had danced to when they were only sixteen or seventeen. Did he cherish everything connected with it so much that even the music from the festival was imprinted in his memory?..

Veruca's heart ached with love and tenderness. She rested her head on Diego's shoulder. He stroked her back with his hand. The rough palms touched the soft, exposed skin of her back; it was like a tickle, like a butterfly sitting on her back, and then it fluttered up, flapped its wings, and flew away.

She was frightened, excited, and attracted by their closeness. Veruca knew better than to be afraid of Diego, and she trusted him. No, perhaps it was not he who frightened her, but the unknown, the unknown romantic expanses. She was standing right on the edge of the abyss, ready to throw herself into it. The fear was gone. Veruca wanted to do something urgently, so that they would be even closer than they were now.

Even closer. Impossibly close.

The dance was not enough.

Breathing, too.

Veruca couldn't wait any longer. She lifted her head and met Diego's warm gaze. He was looking at her, waiting for something. His hands on her body felt like living, open fire.

Veruca cupped his face in her hands, raised herself on her toes, and pressed her lips to his. And Diego returned the kiss, holding her even tighter.

Veruca froze, feeling her hands grow cold, her head burn; her lips burned as his hot and sensual mouth pressed against hers, and she went limp and soft, her heart ached sweetly in her chest and fluttered with wonder and happiness. The smell of Diego enveloped her — the smell of hot chocolate, perfume and apricot wine, his warm hands, his shirt and smooth hair. They kissed timidly, carefully, as if they might hurt each other. It was... nice. Very much so. She had never been kissed before (the cheek doesn't count), and the kiss with Diego Caplan, her beloved man, was unexpected and completely beautiful. Everything around them — the gazebo, the darkness and cool wind, the wine and food left and the music — didn't matter, because Diego was there, and she was kissing him on the lips for the first time.

Finally, they pulled away. Veruca suddenly felt weak, vulnerable, and at the same time liberated. She did it! She kissed him! She kissed Diego Caplan on the lips herself, and he answered her! She was filled with a sweet delight in herself.

Diego smiled in surprise; he seemed equally shocked and delighted. Veruca heard his voice close to her ear: "What was that, Miss McQuaid?"

"Don't you understand, Mr. Caplan?" Veruca was not left in debt. Then she lowered her voice. "I think the second time you will understand for sure."

"Oh," Diego said knowingly. His eyes flashed. "Would you like to repeat it? I'd love to, believe me."

Veruca was flushed. Merlin, she had to be so drunk to pay compliments that gave a head start to Diego Caplan, the master of compliments! She laughed nervously and started to turn away, but Diego cupped her face in his hands — just as she had done a few minutes ago — and asked softly, "Did you like it?"

She bit her lip. "Yes. And you?"

"Me, too." Diego grinned with a raise of his eyebrows. "Can we try again?"

Veruca laughed and was about to agree when he kissed her. The second kiss was bolder, less innocent. They intertwined their tongues, bit each other's lower lip, hugged, squeezed and clung tighter, embodying in this kiss all that they could not express in words, all that Veruca was so shy, and what she could not get over. Finally, this barrier was overcome.

The second kiss was followed by a third. Veruca and Diego kissed hungrily, feeling an acute lack of each other's warmth. It had been dark for a long time, and the ground was cold, but they were warm, even hot. It was hard to stop. They finally broke away from each other, disheveled and flushed, and their hot foreheads touched.

"You're the best," Diego muttered breathlessly, "woman I've ever had. I adore you."

"And you're the best man I've ever had," Veruca replied with a sly smile. "By the way, I think we have some wine left. Why don't we finish it off?"

"Food is sacred," Diego agreed, and they walked back to the gazebo, holding hands and laughing. A butterfly with bright blue wings, hiding behind one of the light bulbs, fluttered into the air and flew away into the black sky, shimmering with flashing diamond stars, into a summer night full of love...

[monarchwine]

JANUARY PAIRINGS

January tends to be the month where we give our bellies some reprieve from the gluttonous eating that we indulged in during the holidays. Fresh vibrant green salads start to look extra appealing for most, along with lean and healthy proteins such as salmon or chicken. One of the biggest challenges is making sure the healthy food you are consuming is still packed with big and bold flavors. Below are 3 recipes that are the antithesis of bland paired with three wines that will perfectly complement the vibrant flavors that come through in the three recipes.

Grapefruit, Avocado, and Shrimp Salad

Prep time: 7 min

Cooking time: 30 min

Total time: 37 min

Ingredients:

1/2 lb of cooked shrimp

2 avocados pitted and sliced

2 grapefruit peeled and segmented (save the juice that comes out)

1 small shallot chopped

1 package of butter lettuce

1 tsp soy sauce

½ tsp honey

1 tbsp olive oil

½ tbsp grapefruit juice

1 tsp lemon juice

1 tsp ground black pepper

1 tsp salt

Directions:

1.) Wash the cooked shrimp thoroughly. Next, make the dressing in a medium mixing bowl by adding the shallot, lemon juice, grapefruit juice, soy sauce, honey, salt, and pepper in a bowl and mixing well with a whisk. Slowly drizzle in the olive oil while constantly whisking, resulting in a smooth emulsified dressing.

2.) Add the shrimp to the bowl with the dressing and toss well. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and place in the fridge to marinate for at least 30 min.

3.) While the shrimp is marinating, prep your avocado, and grapefruit.

4.) Arrange your butter lettuce nicely in a shallow bowl, and place the avocado and grapefruit with intention. Alternating between the two makes for a nice presentation. Scatter the shrimp and finish with a generous drizzle of the dressing, or use as much as you like.

Wine pairing:

Domaine Pichot Sparkling Vouvray

This sparkling Vouvray from the Loire Valley, France has notes of honey, white wild flowers, juicy citrus and stone fruit. Those citrusy notes mimic the tart grapefruit in the salad perfectly, while the soft texture of the chenin blanc grape found in Vouvray complements the creamy avocado. When it comes to pairing salads with wine, one must also take into consideration the dressing. This dressing has a fair amount of tartness due to the grapefruit and lemon, so it needs a high acid wine to match that tartness. Sparkling Vouvray delivers on that tartness with it’s high acidity.

Slow Roasted Salmon with Harissa, Winter Citrus, Fennel and Olives

Prep Time: 10 min

Cook Time: 30 min

Total Time: 40 min

Yield: 4 People

Ingredients:

1.5 pound fillet of salmon

2 fennel bulbs, cored and sliced

1 lemon sliced

1 blood orange sliced

1 tbsp harissa

3 tbsp olive oil

¼ cup of pitted and chopped green olives

Directions:

1.) Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

2.) In a small bowl, whisk together the harissa and olive oil until you get a pasty consistency. In a baking dish, lather the salmon with the ¾ of the paste, making sure to get every nook and cranny. Lay the lemon and blood orange slices on top of the salmon, making sure to completely cover it.

3.) Scatter the olives and fennel around the salmon. Add a bit more olive oil to the rest of the paste and drizzle the oil over the vegetables. Place in the oven and cook for 30 min for medium rare.

Wine pairing:

2019 Jean-Bernadin Casabianca Corse

Corsican Rosé is one of my favorite Rosé because it gets the best of both worlds by being in France’s beautiful Mediterranean and right to stunning Sardinia. Because of its terroir, this rosé has notes of French lavender and tarragon as soon as you lift the glass to your nose. Since Corsica is in the Mediterranean, this wine is best paired with Mediterranean dishes that have those same Mediterranean ingredients such as the green olives, lemon, and olive oil in this roasted salmon recipe. Lastly, when in doubt, it can help to just pair the color of the wine with the same color of the dish, hence the rosy hue in the salmon matching perfectly with the Rose’.

Chorizo and White Bean Stew

Port is a fortified Portuguese dessert wine that comes from the Douruo Valley of Northern Portugal, typically made as a sweet red wine, although examples of white port do exist. There are many different styles such as ruby, tawny and vintage port. For this pairing, I’ll be talking about late vintage port, a sweet style that is moderate in acidity with tasting notes of dark chocolate, black cherry, currant, dried raisins, and prunes.

Prep time: 15 min

Cooking time: 30 min

Total Time: 45 min

Yield: 6 people

Ingredients:

1 lb chorizo

2 garlic cloves minced

‘6 oz chopped kale

1 medium yellow onion

1 can cannellini

2 cup red wine

Salt

Pepper

1 tsp chili flakes

3 tbsp olive oil

1 tbsp tomato paste

2 cups tomato puree

3 cups of chicken stock

Directions:

1.) In a dutch oven, heat it up with the olive oil, once the oil starts to sizzle add the chorizo. Let the chorizo brown for a few minutes, then add the onions and garlic. Let everything saute’ for a few minutes.

2.) Add the kale and cook with the onions, garlic, and chorizo. Add the tomato paste and let it caramelize for a few minutes. Turn the heat to high and add the red wine, letting it reduce by a tbsp.

3.) Lower the heat and add the tomato puree and white beans. Add the chicken stock, and give everything a good stir. Allow it to simmer for at least 30 min until it is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. Best served with a dollop of sour cream and an extra drizzle of olive oil.

Wine Pairing:

2018 Juan Gil Jumilla

Jumilla is a Spanish wine found in the region of Murcia where the Monastrell grape (also known as Mourvedre in France and other parts of the world) grows. Monastrell is a thick skinned low yielding berry with notes of juicy dark cherry, blackberry, smoke, and leather. This stew has such a beautiful smoky flavor thanks to the chorizo and the smoky notes that comes from the mourvedre grape further enhance it. This rich and hearty stew is a total flavor bomb and needs a wine that won’t be lost standing up to it. Jumilla is the type of red wine that perfectly fits the bill with its bold juicy red cherry notes, ripe tannins and full body. Lastly, Jumilla delivers with the good amount of acidity it has in it, cleansing the palate after each spoonful.

Originally Published Here: https://monarch.wine/january-pairings/

[hopelesswxnderers]

name — ri gender — female star sign — pisces height — 5′5″ age — 27 wallpaper on my phone — a sunset of where i live house — ravenclaw (though not a hp fan) ever crush on a teacher — nope coolest halloween costume — i’ve only dressed up for it twice and neither were particularly cool favorite 90s tv show — pokemon :’) last kiss — about 5 mins ago have you ever been stood up — no favorite pair of shoes — i just like my cheap boots. i paid so much for my sketches and they’re breaking really quickly, so cheap works sometimes have you ever been to vegas — no favorite fruit — it depends on the season and if it’s juicy. grapes usually, but there is nothing as good as a spanish orange favorite book — i never finish the books i read but i did finish a f/f one earlier in the year but I can’t remember what it was called stupidest thing you’ve ever done — everything all time favorite shows —  doctor who (but mostly up until season 8), merlin, fresh meat, supergirl, being human, arrow (sorta, like i’m going off it already and they keep phasing out my favourite characters but the start was so good), taskmaster, misfits etc. last movie you saw in theaters — iron man 2. yes i hate cinemas that much

tagged by: @lipstickwrites​

tagging: anybody who’d like to do it.

[strawberries-n-sugar]

FUNKY FLAVORS & OLD TUNES

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Short! "Skinny"! White reader (please don't be offended and if you are then don't read? I can only find specifically x black reader, x plus size reader, x tall reader for every character and I enjoy reading all of those things because I have a imagination but I am none of those things so just something from the other perspective and it isn't meant to offend anyone :), hope you ALL enjoy. This isn't meant to show hate to anyone, just show some love to people who arent those three things)

Warnings: maybe some 18+ (I write straight from my head), old music, old funk and groove music, horniness, corniness, puns, sarcasm, innuendos, maybe some old doo wop, maybe some 90s, a plethera of music in a variety of forms, nerdiness, uhm, thats it? Oh, Daddy! Sam at the end and not the kinky kind XD, interracial relationship (I dont know why that is a warning but some people get offended so I thought I would play it safe), bad dancing my a short bitch who think she has the skills of Tom Hiddles, maybe some sad talk, Steve and Buck being matchmakers

Summary: Things have been rough for Sam and the whole Avengers gang actually since losing Tony but Sam finds a little escape every now and then. A new little hole in the wall juice and homemade icecream joint. The owner might be stealing his heart but she can't see it, good things come in small packages, or was it dynamite? For Sam, it's both, the joint is always thumpin' and so is his heart

“Funky Flavors, that’s new?” Sam comes to a slow jog from his run as he is about to stop noticing a new business had opened just off the route he runs when he runs around the Lincoln Memorial. “I could go for some juice,” he shrugs talking to himself as he goes in, removing his earbuds from his ears. Upon walking in the first thing he notices is the music, She’s A Bad Mama Jamma by Carl Carlton blared through the small system. “Okay,” he raises a brow and looks around, the small place was empty at the moment. Figuring that the owner was in the back he let’s himself dance.

“Hey~!” He gets a little too into it as you walk out from the back. You don’t say anything and just watch smiling and trying not to laugh, being your size came in handy, quite often you go unnoticed. After a minute you decide to butt in. “Hey Shug, what can I getcha?” 

“Oh shit! Huh?” He stops suddenly, caught of guard he jumps a little. “How long you been there?” “About a minute and a half, smooth moves.” “Thanks,” he rubs the back of his neck, “Wait, Shug?” “Sorry, habit, daddy called me and momma that so it stuck and now I say it.” “That’s sweet,” he smiles. “Thanks, and thankyou for stopping by.” “Yeah, noticed the new place, decided to stop by. Thirsty after the run, uh, what do you have? You ain’t from around here are you?” “No,” you giggle and hand him the menu, “I’ve got homemade icecreams and original beverages”

He looks the menu over and reads it off 

Mango Mornin’ Sunrise- mango and pineapple orange juice slushie (alcoholic and non-alcoholic options)

Momma I’m Messed Up- vodka, Redbull, rum. Blueberries, blackberries, and tequila 

Wet- (icecream flavor and drink; drink comes with dish of sugar dipped strawberries, homemade) starwberries, red wine; 19 Crimes 

Classic Homemade Butter Pecan Icecream (optional served with homemade pecan pie)

The I’m Sorry Miss Jackson (icecream flavor and drink)- Jack Daniels, coconut and chocolate

Moonshine Milkyway- homemade icecream with Milkyway and moonshine flavor 

The Send Help- Irish Trashcan with a scoop of I’m Sorry Miss Jackson on top

Pantie Dropper- (alcoholic and non-alcoholic options) smoothie with pineapple, orange, lemon, pineapple and grapefruit

Soaking Thighs- (alcoholic and non-alcoholic options) smoothie with blackberries, red grape juice, and pineapple 

Thigh Rider- Red’s Apple ale with apple cider

Summer Heat- blackberry sprite beverage 

F*** Me, Now- house-made strawberry juice (alcoholic and non alcoholic options)

Sam rubbed his neck and cleared his throat, “Jesus girl,” he laughs. “So what’ll it be Mr?” You ask, leaning over the counter as Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye comes on. “Shit, I’ll have a Fuck Me Now” 

“One Fuck Me Now comin’ right now Shug,” you say shocking yourself with how you kept a straight face and not noticing how he was watching you as you made it. “Alcoholic or regular?” You glance at him. 

“It’s 10 in the morning girl” “And?” “Regular, this time,” he laughs. 

“Alright here you go,” you finish up and pass it to him, making your way over to the register. “I like the station, which one is it?” 

You laugh, “that ain’t the radio, it’s my playlist”

“Say what?” He raises a brow like he doesn’t believe you. 

“What?” You ask seriously as you ring him up. 

“It’s just-”

“Just?” You shake your head and stretch your eyes. 

“Well-”

“Well?”

“You’re wearing a Asking Alexandria t-shirt for one thing”

“Yeah, nice ain’t it? Soft too,” You smirk as you know the next song will address the elephant in the room as Play That Funky Music White Boy comes on and you both laugh. 

“3.45″

“oh, right,” he pays you already sipping at it. 

“You said this time, so, you’re coming back?”

“Maybe,” he smirks. 

“Alright, I’ll hold ya to it,” you say, thinking about how you’d like him to hold you to a wall and chewing your bottom lip. You quickly remind yourself that that won’t ever happen. Guys don’t really want your type, you aren’t thicc, or super curvy, there’s no meat with your potatoes and nothing for them to hang on to, you have to have a little something to work with because thicc thighs save lives and no man wants to cuddle a stick, you aren’t a snow-bunny. All things you have heard before, and that was just about your weight and all things you have heard before, the short jokes didn’t end either much less would anyone take you seriously as a woman.

“I’ll see you later Lil Juicy,” he smiles as he leaves.

“Lil Juicy?”

“You’re little and you make juice”

“Bye,” you both laugh and you watch him walk away.

“I’ll bring some friends next time,” he calls.

“Wait!”

“Yeah?”

“I’m looking for help so if you know anyone-”

“I’ll spread the word” “Thanks, bye”

Stepping outside once the door shut behind him and the door closed behind him, “I think the new Captain America has found his Miss America,first lady?  She is damn cute,” he smiles and chuckles making his way. 

Days go by, and then a week, and a week and a half where Sam can’t get you out of his head and you hadn’t stopped thinking about him either but you hadn’t seen him again yet. He did spread the word because the next day his friend Wanda show’s up and she started working for you. You liked her, she was nice and a giant help but working with her became hard sometimes when customers would go googly eyed over her. You couldn’t blame them, she wasn’t thicc but she but she was you could still understand why, she was gorgeous.

“So, have you heard from Sam?” You ask her while it is slow.

“Yes, he said he was bringing Steve and Bucky today”

“Really?” Okay, that was overzealous, it didn’t help when the trio came in. Sam, and ofcourse you recognized the other two based on them being the Avengers, and through talking with Wanda.

“Alright, Steveo, you first,” Sam gets his phone out to record the old man’s reaction. 

“Hello,” Steve says friendly, “Hi, what’ll it be?” 

“The uh,” he clears his throat with a blush, “No need to be shy,” you encourage him. “The strawberry one” 

“No, you’ve gotta say the name,” Sam teases him. “the fuck me now....” “That is a bad language word!” Sam teases and you make Steve’s drink as Bucky looks over the menu and he and Steve watch Sam watching you, glancing to each other knowingly. Well, it was obvious with how happy he was and how he chewed his bottom lip as you bent over to grab things not paying attention. 

“Alright, and you Shug?” You give Steve his drink and ask Bucky what he would like 

“I’ll have the Summer Heat, add vodka. Thanks,doll”

“You’re welcome,” you start making it and it was quiet except for Stand By Me by  The Drifters was on and you sang along and harmonizing, Sam hums along as well harmonizing with you. “This one or Ben E King?” He asks, “this one, obviously” “Alright, :Lean On Me, Club Nouveau or the original?” “The original sucks, doesn’t flow,” you answer as you make the drink and the guys just watch the two of you as they sit with their drinks. 

“You have good taste-”

“Bet you think she tastes good too,” Buck says casually and you all turn to look at him shocked.

“What?” He shrugs, “I’m 103, and I was bagging bitches in the 40′s” 

You all shrug and make the touche face. Steve on the other hand was about to implode trying to remain a gentleman and not laugh. “He wants to eat strawberries from your tits,” Buck continues sipping his drink. 

“Okay Pal, thanks,” Sam leans over to take it and Buck smacks his hand.

“I wouldn’t mind,” you joke honestly

“We approve,” the two old men say in unison looking at Sam.

“Ask her,” Buck edges him on and points to you with his head while you aren’t looking.

“Ask who what?” Wanda asks confused as you rise from what you were doing behind the counter. 

“Y/N,” Buck answers her.

“Ask me what?”

“Would-would you maybe uhm-would you like to come record shopping with me?”

“Sure, just message me,” you exchange numbers, thinking it was meant to be a casual friend thing. 

The next week after texting him almost constantly and him texting you you make arrangements. He picked you up, opened the door for you, and the day was amazing. You wandered through the record store browsing only for him to sneak up behind you and put his arms around you at some point to look in the same crate and look down to read your face to see if it was okay only to find you blushing again. He smiles feeling a sudden little boost in confidence, the pointers that Steve and Buck had given him were working. He swallows a lump in his throat, hoping you don’t notice before speaking softly by your ear. 

“Want to do this again next Friday?” “S-ure, but Sam...” “Hmm?”

“Can we not do this?” “Yeah,” he pulls away, “Y/N, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.....I just, well, I really-I don’t want to get the wrong idea”

“What is that?” he tilts his head.

You choose not to answer, you weren’t really allowed to answer that question as you look around gauging the room and seeing a few women who may get offended just by you telling the truth. They would probably attack you, call you a liar, mock you, definitely laugh. “I can’t answer that, I need jeans...can we swing by American Eagle-wai-,” you check your wallet to see if you will have enough. “i think I have enough for one pair,” he nods and you buy the records you want and you both leave. His hand in the middle of your back holding the door for you. “Thankyou” “You’re welcome....”

He walks to American Eagle with you as you find a assistant to help you find the one section of the store that is a half of a table that will have your petite sizes. She walks you over and Sam watches as you look through the very small section of the large store where the pants short enough in length and small enough in waist for you are and buy a pair and he looks at the other sections, pretty much the entirety of the ladies section of the store with the other jeans. 

“Ready?” You come over to him with your bag. “Yeah, hang on, let me see that?” 

You hand him your bag and he looks at the receipt, “Why did yours cost twice as much?” 

You shrug, “this is the only place that has anything to fit me at all other than the kids section at Walmart, lets go. I’m just happy i am thicker than I used to be in high school and I can eat now and it ain’t much but I’m proud of my little booty I do have some days,” you laugh. 

“So, next week?”

“Yeah, I love hanging out with you”

 Sam takes you home and gets the door, it was a silent drive home. He walks you to your door. 

“Thanks Sam, I had fun,” you start to hug him but can only reach his waist so to make it less awkward you make it quick. “Night,” you smile and start to go inside.

“Night Y/N....,” he grabs your arm and turns you, he lifts you enough to be face to face with you which honestly made you feel like a child as your feet dangles so high off the ground, “Thanks, I needed this on jean shopping day,” you say sarcastically to play off that it actually hurts because you really like Sam. 

“Y/N,” he sits you on the railing and holds your waist so you won’t fall.

“Hmm?” You ask, looking at your thighs, thinking about how they are thick compared to when people complimented your thigh gap and you hated it but had to smile because you couldn’t eat for a year due to being sick but you had to smile and say thankyou, and how now you had improved a lot and it has taken you years to do so but you still weren’t thicc enough to be good enough. 

“Look at me,” he lifts your chin and you glance at him, trying to have eye contact but you look so pathetic right now. 

“I like being able to pick you up,” he starts and smiles, you start to cut him off and hop down but he grabs your thighs to hold you there and he cuts you short. “I’m not finished.” 

That stern voice made the heat pool between your legs, you knew you loved this man. 

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I watch you walk away and I stare at your ass every time you bend over or squat for somethin’-” you can’t stop the blush in your ears and your face. “Really?” “yes, and I like being able to pick you up, it’s cute. if you would have hugged me a second ago instead of flinging your arms around me and moving away I would have wrapped my arms around you and taken a second to just enjoy your head against me.....I think you are a beautiful lady, and you are interesting, and intelligent, I can talk to you and I love that. Please, go out with me next week on another date?”

“Another?”

“Yes, I thought this was a date until you got sad....”

“I didn’t know, I thought you just saw me as a friend and wanted to hang out; that’s usually how it goes...”

“Alright, my fault. I should have been more clear,” he puts a hand to his chest, still holding you so you don’t fall. “Please, may I take you out to dinner, next Friday? I’ll pick you up at the same time, it’s a date...please,” he looks up at you as he kisses your knuckles. “You don’t have to beg little old me, I’d love to,” you answer honestly and he kisses the side of your lip almost your cheek. “I’ll get my real kiss next time,” he helps you down and that was how it all started. That is how you became Mrs. Sam Wilson a year later, and now here you were almost three years later lying down and watching him pace back and forth in front of the bed with your new son.  

“Sam, I have a idea”

“To get him to sleep?”

You nod and go to your playlist and press play letting the soft  shoo doo shooby doo~ shoo doo dooby doo~ In the still of the night~ fill the room.

Sam see’s his eyes drift closed and carefully lays him in his crib and crawls up over you on the bed slowly before swiftly flipping the situation so you’re straddling him. He grips and caresses your thighs and chews on his lip before pulling your neck in for a kiss, “I’ll have a Fuck Me Now please” “Coming right up”