#f boy goat person

[prunpplee]

This year's art fights so far !

[tpwk-formula1]

hi! could i pls get sicilian crust with alfredo sauce, pepperoni, pineapple, roasted mushrooms, and goat cheese. then also sprite, dr pepper, truly, and dessert? sorry for the big order 😭

p.s. i love ur writing so much 🫶🏻

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

sicilian dating Alfredo sweet sex pepperoni "Be a good girl, and you'll get what you want" pineapple "Look so pretty wrapped around my cock" roasted mushroom “Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy” goat cheese "Look so pretty like this" sprite size kink dr pepper dirty talk truly belly bulge dessert yes served by Ollie Bearman

Ollie x Gf! Reader

TW - Oral (m&f receiving), unprotected sex, slight teasing, belly bulge, slight size kink

WC 1400+

Y/N POV

"If we get married one da-" I start saying but get quickly cut off by my boyfriend Ollie scoffing making me turn my head with a raised brow.

"IF? If we get married? You mean WHEN we get married," Ollie corrects making me laugh slightly and nod my head in agreeance.

"Well, ya when we get married, would you want to write personal vows or standard ones?" I reply softly with a blush creeping on my cheeks just at the thought of marrying Ollie one day.

"Well, what would you want? I love love to be able to get up in front of our entire family and friends and tell them exactly how much I love you and all the promises I make to you but I understand if you would rather do that in a more personal setting," Ollie replies softly while looking down at me.

We had spent the whole day being pretty lazy and had currently been watching The Office while cuddling when the random question popped up into my head.

"Well, I've always pictured myself doing a first look before I walk down the isle so maybe we could do personal ones just us and maybe with our parents and closest friends and then during the ceremony maybe giving the standard ones," I reply back making Ollie smile and nod.

"Well, that sounds like a good plan to me. I'm shocked a bit that you would want to do a first look," Ollie tells me softly making me laugh lightly.

"I don't know I just love first looks they feel really personal and then that way we can have our moment alone before having a moment for everyone you know. I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of people and eyes on us so I think it would be nice to have something for just us and the important people," I tell Ollie softly making him nod.

"God, we really are gonna have a lot of people there," Ollie says clearly thinking about all the the people we would be inviting to our future wedding.

"You think you're gonna invite all your engineers from Haas and Ferrari?" I ask slightly laughly making Ollie chuckle along.

"Probably not, but definitely the important ones. You gonna invite everyone in your ballet preformances?" Ollie questions with a laugh falling from his lips.

"No, definitely not. Maybe 1 or 2 of them are deserving of an invite. Please tell me you're not inviting every driver on the grid," I jokingly ask while cringing just thinking about how much ruckus the 20 of those boys could cause.

"Oh definitely all 20," Ollie says with a smirk falling on his lips making me laugh and nod.

"Ya I guess they are pretty important," I nod laughing with Ollie.

"You're really gonna marry me one day?" Ollie asks suddenly getting serious.

"Well ya, when the day comes that you ask me to marry you I'll say yes in a heartbeat," I tell him with a smile starting to spread across my face. Ollie matched my smile before pulling me closer to his chest and kissing me softly on the lips.

"I fucking love you," Ollie tells me making me laugh and tell him I loved him too.

I pulled Ollie back in for another kiss this one turning into a heated makeout session with me crawling into Ollie's lap and grinding down softly feeling his cock starting to grow hard under me.

"Fuck baby," Ollie groans making me giggle softly.

"I can feel how hard you are," I reply softly against Ollie's lips making him groan when I grind down harder into his growing cock.

I pull off my shirt quickly leaving my upper body completely bare for Ollie's large hands to grip onto my tits making me whimper slightly.

"God, I love these tits," Ollie groans making me smile softly.

Ollie starts teasing my nipples with his fingers making me whimper before I start pulling off Ollie's shirt making Ollie pull away slightly to help pull it off all of the way.

I look down at Ollie's toned chest making me rub my hands along his chest and abs before settling on the waistband of his shorts pulling them open just slightly so I can sneak my hand and squeeze his hard cock.

"Fuck," Ollie groans when I start jerking him off slightly.

Ollie and I both climb out of bed and strip our clothes off before I pull Ollie in for another kiss and push him to sit on the edge of the bed so I can get on my knees for him.

"Look so pretty like this" Ollie mumbles while staring down at me on my knees for him.

I slowly start jerking his cock off before leaning down and pulling the tip of his large cock into my mouth pulling him farther down my throat and making me gag slightly around his cock.

"Fuck," Ollie moans when I start bobbing my head. I hum softly against his cock knowing how much he loves the soft vibrations against his sensitive cock.

"Slow down," Ollie groans pulling my hair into a ponytail and pulling me up his cock slowly when I start gagging around his cock.

"Don't want you to get hurt," Ollie mumbles when I look up at him confused.

"I'm fine, wanna make you feel good," I explain softly while bringing him back into my mouth and down my throat gagging once again but this time Ollie just groaned and enjoyed the pleasure.

"Fuck, Look so pretty wrapped around my cock," Ollie groaned making me whine around his cock and bring my hand between my thigh to tease my already-soaked pussy.

"Get on the bed," Ollie groaned pulling me up and helping me onto the bed.

Ollie was between my thigh within moments, pulling my clit into his mouth and sucking it like his life depended on it.

"Oh fuck, Ollie," I whimper pulling his hair between my fingers and tugging him closer to my core.

"More," I beg when I feel Ollie slowly slip two fingers into my pussy.

"Be a good girl, and you'll get what you want," Ollie groaned against my pussy while picking up the pace with his fingers making the band in my stomach tighten warning me of the orgasm that is starting to build.

"I want you cumming on my cock," Ollie says while slipping his fingers out of my pussy making me whimper at the loss of pleasure.

Ollie sits up before he slowly slips his cock into my pussy making me whimper when I feel his large cock starting to fill my tight pussy up.

"Oh god," I scream out when Ollie is all the way seated in my pussy. I could feel the stretch of him all around me making me whimper.

"Too big," I gasp when Ollie starts thrusting his hips softly trying to stretch me out as much as possible before picking up his pace.

"Fucking hell, you're so tight," Ollie groans when he can feel me starting to relax around him, allowing him to pick up the pace.

"Ollie," I moan loudly when I can feel my orgasm start to build in the pit of my stomach again.

“Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy,” Ollie groans making me trail my eyes down slightly noticing instantly the bulge that keeps showing back up every time Ollie pushes in all the way.

"Oh Ollie," I gasp in a stunned manner not expecting it to be so noticeable.

"So tight for me," Ollie mumbles while slowly starting to push down on the bulge so I can feel it more.

"Oh fuck," I scream when I start cumming all over Ollie's cock. All the pleasure was far too overwhelming around me I don't realize that OIllie's thrusts have stopped until I feel his cock pulsing deep in my pussy before he starts unleashing rope after rope of his cum.

"Fuck Ollie," I gasp out of breath as he slowly starts slipping out of me making me feel his cum leak from my gaping pussy.

"Fuck," Ollie groans while slowly climbing out of bed and grabbing a discarded shirt on the floor to wipe me down quickly before climbing back into bed and pulling me into his chest.

"Fuck, I could do that the rest of my life," I joke softly making Ollie laugh lightly with me but still nodding his head in agreeance.

[joffyworld]

COTL Freaky Tierlist

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP CHUCKLEFUCKS

I'm about to drop some life changing lore and if you can't handle it, that's tough titties my brothers, sisters and theys. If you don't agree with this tier list, you're either a normal person (in which case why are you here run for the hills) or you're so damn freaky that God forgot that was possible when he made me.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, FROM LEAST TO MOST FREAKY:

F:

Kallamar - Need I say more? This loveable twink is soft as his husbands knickers and by God would we not have him any other way. This fucker can't even fathom anything beyond the most painfully dull missionary imaginable, and that's just as an excuse to cuddle more afterwards. "But Joffy" I hear you say, "He's a renowned slut he should be in A!" Wrong. He couldn't be more vanilla, it's all an act and anyone with more than 3 spouses is just fucking lying at that point. Cmon, he may be a God, but deep inside that cowards octopussy is a love for the mundane.

D:

Heket - Controversial I know. But hear me out here. Heket has spent all her life getting fucked by life, she has literally no time for your stupid fleshy appendages, and to top it off she's the most desperately useless lesbian this side of the lands of the old faith. Renowned from Darkwood to Anchordeep, this bitch is fucking stupid when it comes to "rizzing a shawty" and it shows because she spends all her time yapping about the good ol' days. She's only slightly freakier than Kallamar because she's probably into being burned by cigarettes or some shit, but let's face facts. Inexperience guides this poor phrog into the D tier, despite her aversion to "D" to begin with.

Leshy - This stupid dumb stupid worm barely knows that sex exists, and if you asked him what his favourite position is he'd say "1st" and then promptly challenge you to a footrace. The God of Chaos has no time for ropes and rails, but he's at least got a good heart and is pretty gay for that cat. I've watched this stupid fucker get divorced in two different AU's because he couldn't live with the guilt, you think he's surviving post-nut clarity? No. Enough said, he's keeping it clean and calm in the bedroom, and that cat couldn't be happier about that considering his daily life is fucking mental. Keep the Chaos outside, inside? Domestic worm only.

C:

Goat - Now this is where it gets tricky, you might think that the gruff exterior of a mass murdering psychopath is enough to demonstrate a willingness to get tied upside down and spank the monkey till the sun don't shine. But brother, let me tell you, it ain't fuckin true. Don't get me wrong, this goat can fuck, and boy does he, but most of the time it's all bark no bite in the flirting department. Easily flustered, puts up an external image of punk-rock to hide that he's an utter cinnamon bun, the whole works. That being said, with a long term partner? Buckle up. That crown isn't dildo-purple for no reason, prepare for bliss and potential bliss-ters.

B:

Lamb - OKAY HOLD YOUR HORSES this is gonna be a tough one. You've gotta be thinking, that's either wayyy too high for this silly lil fella, or wayyy to low for this absolute cock devouring demon, but let me remind you, this one here is subjective. This is the only character I've seen written as everything from an asexual to a violent and sadistic cannibal, so what fairer rating than the exact middle? It truly does depends, if you're on your "cannibalism is routine and fun" shit then you're gonna be rocketing right up there, straight to S baby, unless you have some kind of twisted mentality you need checked by a licensed psychiatrist to somehow think that's tame; not to shame it mind you. But if you're more on the side of the lamb's that typically get posted by a cuter artist, than you're gonna be rocking a D or even an F. This little fuzzy fucker is traumatized, some type of gay no matter what, and certainly a wildcard, and what better way to celebrate that then with a middle-of-the-road approach? Besides, their most famous partner is certainly a bit more repressed, which leads us to:

A:

Narinder - Are we surprised? This fuzzy little furball has been trapped in prison for 1000 years with his two kids and NOTHING ELSE to do except hope he can get back on the market. The moment he's freed, it's gonna be hell unleashed, but thankfully 99% of the time he's either so angry or so oblivious it turns into a slowburn of passion with his fuzzy lil sheepguy that he definitely "doesn't" have a thing for. But, as the well versed know, this motherfucker has seen shit, and being the God of Death is gonna give you a weird taste in, well, "tastes" than a normal life will. I mean really, the guys fuckin surrounded by miserable dead people all day, he needs stress relief and his enthusiasm for revenge borders on the horny-sided. This guy fucks, but mostly gets fucked, and remains The One Who Bottoms in almost every AU. Cmon people, if you've read this far you've fuckin seen it with your own eyes, do I really to lecture about it more?

S:

The Mura™ - The fucker that started it all. I bet until now you thought I wouldn't include this loveable spider and awful mother-sibling of 4, but here we are. This goddamn spider has single-parented a family of genocidal psychopaths since history started being recorded, and to match that then had to almost literally kill one of their own brother-kid-things to save the others. Stressed and in need of relief? Check. You know what makes a motherfucker freaky? Repression, and this spider is goddamn dripping in it (pun intended) and is ready to burst. I myself may be a Shamura aroace truther, but if I have to put a letter on it, it's 100% in the universes where this spider fucks. Copulates, eats your head, kills your family mid-coitus, the whole shebang, but boy is that gonna be the best last nut you'll ever bust. This spider's an expert, literally the God of War and by God are they gonna wage war on your holes, not to mention ALSO being the God of Wisdom? I mean come on, somebody had to write the Kama Sutra, and it was this horny bastard

And that's it

You may have questions, you may have alternative takes, to be honest I'll probably change my mind the moment I hit post and remember that actually Heket deepthroated a glizzy on the 5th of October last year, but honestly? Who gives a shit. These gods be gay people, that's all that matters.

Goodnight, Lamb Bless, and may you never encounter The Mura during ovulation. Godspeed soldiers, amen.

[neptunescore]

Most of the drivers are more concerned about padding their own pockets. Lando is probably the worst on the grid though. He has a lot of influence and acts like he keeps it real and doesn’t care bc he tells it like it is and isn’t afraid. He’s a total faker. He never speaks up and only repeats what his PR team tell him to say. Nothing seems genuine or real about him. Not only that but Lando travels the world and has fans from all over and doesn’t even care to look at a map and be made aware of what part of the world he’s in. He charges obscene amounts for his shitty merchandise when he knows his fans aren’t making that kind of money. He also accepts money when he does stream on twitch. He has no shame. At the Miami GP he goes and says people should respect a guy who has a known reputation for being an incredibly racist and misogynistic. His fan girls don’t care though bc they all think they have a shot with him and think he’s cute.

Lando no backbone Norris, yeah put that on a shirt.

I used to be a fan of his but over the years I’ve been finding him more and more annoying.

Anon, in the most gentle way, while I do agree with some things here, I feel like there are so many other things ur getting angry at him for, for no reason.

Like yes, I am INCREDIBLEY angry/ irritated abt the stuff he said abt trump, and his unawareness/ ignorance of the boycott, as well as (and this for all the drivers, EXCEPT LEWIS HAMILTON THE GOAT), his inability to post/ talk abt the genocide happening in Palestine.

However, U saying there's nothing 'genuine' abt him, and talking abt how he doesn't know 'which part of the world he's in', is just way too much. Like we've never met him, we dont know him personally, so we can't really say anything when it comes to him being 'genuine' or not. Also, come one getting mad at him for not knowing where countries are is a bit to much, like ofc everyone is free to dislike a driver just bc, but don't hate on him for smthng so lame😭.

U also talk abt how 'he made his merch too expensive for fans', anon, merch - in general - has ALWAYS been expensive, like go look at the rbr, mercedes, ferrari, ANY OF THE TEAMS' merch. Go look at TAYLOR SWIFTS merch, at OSCAR'S merch, at DANIEL'S Enchante stuff. Obv, we'd all like if the stuff was less pricey, but u can't just get mad at one person and not get mad at the others for the same thing.

'He accepts money when he streams on twitch,' I feel like u don't get how his fans VOLUNTARILY give that money, like no lando does not demand them for it, or tell them he'll hate them if they don't give him anything, he's NEVER said he wants them to donate😭. And me personally, if someone was giving me money willingly and happily, I wouldn't refuse it ( its hard out here😔✋🏽) no matter if I was rich or not.

Anyway to end this, I just wanna say that I don't like lando either😭, it's not that he sucks, or that I think he's 'overrrated' I just don't personally vibe with him. (He gives me like 17 yr old f boy energy vibes). But that doesn't mean I'll create reasons to hate him, or like be one of those weirdos who go and talk shit in his comments. I just don't follow him, and when he DOES do smthng wrong, I call him out for it, like I would do for every other driver.

And whoever likes him, can like him. Its their choice, as long as they can admit when he does smthn wrong.

(THIS IS ALL ABT OFF-TRACK, on-track I say you must bcm the biggest haters against drivers u dont like bc if not then WHERES THE PASSIONN😤😤. stop the hate as soon as the race ends tho😭🙏🏽)

[originallandlockedmariner]

2023

Pickleball. Generative AI. Lula takes office in Brazil, Amazon Rainforest throws a party. Prince Harry refusing to stop talking about his frozen penis no matter how many times society begged him to stop. UFOs are real. Viral cat dubbed ‘largest cat anyone has ever seen’ gets adopted. Pee-Wee’s big adventure ends. Musk & X. Turkey-Syria earthquake kills thousands. India surpasses China as ‘country squeezing in the most peeps’. Tucker Carlson ousted. Miss USA and her 30 lbs moon costume. Wildfires in Kelowna and Hawaii. Macron tinkers with retirement age of the French. Paltrow can’t ski. Big Red Boots. Bob Barker leaves us. Alabama mom delivers 2 babies from her 2 uteruses in 2 days. Charles III. Ukrainian counteroffensive against Russian forces as the war drags on. Taylor Swift is Time’s Person of the Year. African ‘coup belt’. Flo-Jo dies in her sleep. Chinese spy balloon shot down. Hollywood writers strike. Human ‘nice mugshot’ Shitstain and his 91 indictments. Highest interest rates in 2 decades. The Bear’s Christmas episode. War in Gaza. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Alex Murdaugh. Ocean Cleanup removes 25 000 lbs of trash from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Vase purchased for $3.99 sells for $100 000 at auction. Barbenheimer. A third of Pakistan is flooded. Lionel Messi is the GOAT. Travis Kelce. The Sphere opens in Las Vegas. Regulators seized Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank, resulting in two of the three largest bank failures in U.S. history. “The Woman In Me”. WHO declares COVID ain’t a thing no more. Titan sub sinks, rich people die. Matthew Perry drowns. Dumbledore Dies (again). Massive sales of ‘Fuck Trudeau’ flags for jacked-up micro-dick trucks. Everything Everywhere All At Once. June-August was the hottest three-month period in recorded history across the Earth. Tina Turner dies. And the Beatles release a new song?! Wow… You got big shoes to fill 2024.

Archives for context:

2020

Kobe. Pandemic. Lockdown. Koalas on fire. Harry and Meg retire. Toilet paper hoarding. Alcoholism. Impeach the f*cker. Parasite. Bonnie Henry. Tiger King. Working from home. Sourdough bread. Harvey Weinstein guilty. Zoom overdose. Dip your body in sanitizer. 6 feet. Quarantine. OK Boomer. Home schooling (everyone passes). Murder hornets. Dolly Parton. Don’t hug, kiss or see anybody, especially your family. Chris Evans’ junk. TikTok. Glory holes. Face masks. CERB. West Coast wildfires. Stay home. Small Businesses lose, big box stores win. F*ck Bozos. ‘Dreams’ and cranberry juice. Close yoga studios, but thumbs up to your local gym. Speak moistly to me. George Floyd. BLM. F*ck Trump. Phase 2, 3 and Summer. RBG. Baby Yoda. Biden wins. Bond and Black Panther die. No more lockdown. Back to school and work. Just kidding... giddy up round 2. Giuliani leaks shit from his head. Resurgence of chess. UFOs are real. Restrictions. Dave Grohl admits defeat. Monolith. “F*ck... forgot my mask in the car”. No Christmas shenanigans allowed. Bubbles. Alex Trebek. Use the term ‘dumpster fire’ one too many times. Jupiter and Saturn form 'Christmas Star'. Happy New Year Bitches!!!! 2021... you better not sh*t the bed!!

2021

“We love you, you’re very special”. Failed coup attempt at the Capital. Twitter, FB and IG ban Donny. Hammerin’ Hank goes to the Field of Dreams. Bozo no longer richest man but still a twat. Leachman, Tyson, and Holbrook pass. The economy is worse than expected. Kim and Kanye split. Brood X cicadas. Dre has an aneurysm and nearly has his home broken into. Bridgerton. MyPillow CEO is a douche. Covid restrictions extended indefinitely. Captain Von Trapp dies. Proud Boys officially a Terrorist Organization. Richard Ramirez. Cancer takes Screech. Travel bans. Impeachment trial (again?… oh and this was barely February? WTF??!!) Suez Canal blockage. Myanmar protest. Kong dukes it out with Godzilla, while Raya watches. Olympics. Friends compare elective surgeries. F9. Canada Women’s Soccer Gold. Free Britney. Multiverses. Residential Schools in Canada unearth children’s bodies. Kate is Mare of Easttown. Cuomo resigns. Disney and Dwayne cruise together. Wildfires. Delta variants. Musk passes Bezos. Candyman x 5. Capt. Kirk goes to space. F*ck Kyle Rittenhouse. Astros didn’t win. Squid Game. Goodbye Bond. Dune is redone. Angelina is Eternal. Astroworld deaths. Meta. Omicron. Three Spidermen. Tornados in December? World Juniors cancelled. Pills against Covid. School opening delayed. And Betty White dies. 2022… my expectations are ridiculously low…

2022

Wow… eight billion people. Queen Elizabeth II passes away after ruling the Commonwealth before dirt was invented. The monkeypox. Russia plays the role of global a**hole. Wordle. Mother Nature rocks Afghanistan. Hover bike. Styles spits on Pine. Olivia Newton John, Kristie Alley, and Coolio leave us. Pele was traded to team Heaven. FTX implodes. Madonna and the 3-D model of her vagina. Pig gives his heart to a human. Beijing can brag that it is the first city ever to host both the Summer Olympics and Winter Olympics. Uvalde. $3 trillion Apple. Keith Raniere gets 120 years. The Whisky War ends with Canada and Denmark going halfsies. Mar-a-Lago. Nick Cannon brood hits a dozen. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Inflation goes through the roof (if you can actually afford to put a roof over your head). Volodymyr Zelensky. European heat wave. Bennifer. Salman Rushdie is stabbed on stage, Dave Chappelle tackled, and Chris Rock is only slapped. Thích Nhất Hạnh. Heidi Klum goes full slug. Cuba knocked out by Ian. Liz Truss and 4.1 Scaramuccis. Taylor Swift breaks Ticketmaster. Human shitstain Elon Musk ignores helping mankind and buys Twitter instead. Riri becomes a mommy. NASA launches Artemis 1. Trump still a whiny little b*tch. Music lost Loretta Lynn, Christine McVie, and Meat Loaf. Democracy died at least three times. Pete Davidson continues to date hottest women on the planet (no one understands how?!) Microplastics in our blood. Alex Jones is a c*nt. So is DeSantis. Argentina wins the World Cup. Meghan and Harry. Eddie Munson rips Metallica in the Upside Down. tWitch. Roe vs Wade is overturned by the micro dick energy of the Supreme Court. CODA. James Corden shows he is a "tiny Cretin of a man". Amber (and the sh*t on the bed) Heard (round the world). Sebastian Bear-McClard proves he’s one of the f*cking dumbest men alive. Latin America's ‘pink tide’. Anti-Semitic rants by Ye. Bob Saget. A verified blue checkmark. Godmother of punk Vivienne dies. And, Tom Cruise feels the need for speed yet again. 2023… whatcha got for us?!? Nothing shocks me anymore.

@daily-esprit-descalier

[mermaidsirennikita]

Can you recommend a few books with amazing Fellatio scenes?

For sure!

Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt probably still has my favorite historical BJ scene. He cries because it was his first orgasm with another person and that's a Lot; she cries because she's emotional and also because like, you know, gag reflex stuff. They're super close to being caught by people. It's GREAT. Tbh though, Elizabeth Hoyt writes generally solid to great ones.

I mean, let us also not forget the scene in Duke of Pleasure wherein the hero is like "oh no the bad guys are about to catch us" so she just starts blowing him to make it look like she's a street wench or whatever they're trying for, and once the guys leave he's like "okay you can stop". And she. Does. Not.

New Camelot by Sierra Simone has several of my favorite BJ scenes. Most likely the "blindfold 'im with a novelty Mount Rushmore tie and go down on him to express your *eternal* gratitude" blow job is the best one, but I also really love the "the mighty Maxen Colchester has a gag reflex" [*cut to the mighty Maxen Colchester glaring balefully*] scene.

Naturally, Sierra's Salt Kiss has great scene in this context, and her Thornchapel series has some of the most "this is sinning" fellatio scenes I'e ever read. Like. The one where they're spit-roasting a priest is honestly not the most sinful BJ in that series. And speaking of that, her book Saint has an amazing scene in which ex-boyfriends, one of whom is a current monk, act out a "I'm a naughty monk and you're tempting me" fantasy BJ in like, the great outdoors lmao.

Mila Finelli's Kings of Italy has great ones. Like, full "you look so pretty like this" scenes, smudged makeup, love it.

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield literally begins with the heroine blowing her boss while calling him daddy without realizing that it is, in fact, her boss.

Give Me More by Sara Cate is an MMF romance with a couple of truly iconic blow job scenes, including hits like "giving my best friend head in the dark" and "my best friend goes down on me after his wife decks my dick out with whipped cream".

All of the Mackenzie brother books by Jennifer Ashley have good ones, but Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage probably has my favorite in the series because Mac is a Whiny Squirmy Hero.

Kennedy Ryan writes great ones in her All the King's Men duology--including one with the thing we don't see enough of in m/f romance novels (heroes getting their asses fingered).

Oh SPEAKING of that there's an amazing BJ scene in Kristen Callihan's The Friend Zone that includes the same thing. The man almost like, dies.

Cate Sebastian's The Queer Principles of Kit Webb has one of my favorite BJ scenes because Percy is a throat goat who happens to be going down on a man who's afraid of hurting him so he has to be like "YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER" about it.

Grace Callaway's books are generally great in this regard. I once compared an enthusiastic but inexperienced Grace Callaway heroine trying to go down on her hero to someone attempting the chubby bunny challenge. And I'm correct there, and boy do their heroes love it (while also being like, "she's objectively kinda bad at this").

Joanna Shupe's books usually have good fellatio scenes (oh, and she's also Mila Finelli). The Duke Gets Even and The Devil of Downtown especially win out in this regard.

[yooku-s]

PlageTale━⁠☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡F r i s k

Character Introduction: Frisk in "PlageTale"

† "PlageTale", is an Undertale Au where Frisk takes on the role of a doctor's apprentice in a world where with the arrival of the plague both on the surface and underground he turned everyone upside down

---

**Name:** Frisk

**Occupation:** Medical Apprentice

Background story:

Frisk, a curious and compassionate human, falls into the underground when he goes to visit one of the many mass graves to try to investigate the disease that endangers humanity, falling due to a slip into one of which turns out to be the underground. where the monsters that humanity had taken care of keeping locked up live.

---

Current "Plage Tale" goals: Frisk travels through the underworld, facing unique medical challenges while trying to avoid the plague that seemed to have reached the underworld one way or another. Him trying to find a way to advance a cure or treatment and at the same time trying to understand how some monsters seem to adapt to it.

---

**Current allies**

Dr. Alphys: A brilliant scientist who helps Frisk with medical knowledge and research for cures.

Napstablook: A melancholic spectrum that provides relaxing music to calm patients.

Mama Toriel: a goat woman who takes care of people who fall into the underground, somewhat nervous and very maternal although you usually have an unhealthy emotional attachment to the people she cares for, she was once the Queen of the underground that is the only thing you know

flowey: lasts the first few minutes you save him from some rats and although he tries to attack he doesn't really cause much damage so you end up adopting him as a possible pet or emergency food.

Monster kid and annoying dogs: they are both like a dog that needs to be taken care of, you like them.

papyrus: I still don't believe he's the younger brother, he's energetic and very curious like a mouse. I like him but I feel like something is screaming that I have to have better dealings with him or I'll be dead.

---

**Current neutrals:**

sans: he doesn't really have an opinion about you or you about him but you feel that he's hiding something else, it's not your problem so you don't mention it nor does he mention anything about you even though his jokes are laughable.

muffet: she doesn't care much about you as long as you buy her meals and "remedies" from her then you will be loved.

monsters in general: they don't care about you and that's it, they are so busy trying to protect themselves from getting sick that you become just another crazy person who thinks they can get a cure, you really think some of them are very irritating.

temmie: I'll just stay away from them...

grillby: he is very quiet but his food is good and he is a good guy.

---

**Current enemies:**

Undyne:she is a very strong girl and she wants me dead blaming me for the infection in the sub floor starting I'm really confused.

infected or guard monsters: they want me dead or infect me.

mettaton: you have no idea how monsters have progressed so much in technology but that machine of smoke and nuts seems to want to split me in two.

king asgore: I've only heard of him but he doesn't seem very happy that more humans are falling, much less falling alive.

---

**??‽‽¿?:**

chara:'at the end of everything I'm still me' I think.

asriel:who was that goat boy in Toriel photo...?

---

**Final Mission:**

Frisk seeks to find the "Panacea of Determination", a unique flower believed to be the solution to the plague. ---

E S P A Ñ O L★★★

**Presentación de Personaje: Frisk en "PlageTale"**

*"PlageTale", es una Au de Undertale donde Frisk asume el rol de un aprendiz de médico en un mundo donde con la llegada de la peste tanto en la superficie como en el subsuelo puso a todos patas arribas*

---

**Nombre:** Frisk

**Ocupación:** Aprendiz de Médico

**Historia de Fondo:**Frisk, un humano curioso y compasivo, cae en el sub suelo cuando va a visitar una de las múltiples fosas comunes para tratar de investigar la enfermedad que pone en peligro a la humanidad callendo por un resbaló a una de esta que resulta ser el sub suelo donde viven los monstruos que la humanidad se había encargado de manter encerrados.

---

**Objetivos actuales "Plage Tale":**Frisk recorre el submundo, enfrentándose a desafíos médicos únicos tratando de evitar la peste que parecía haber llegado de una manera o otra al sub suelo. Intentando buscar manera de avanzar en una cura o tratamiento y a la vez intentando entender cómo los monstruos parecen adaptarse algunos a esta.

---

**Aliados actuales:**

1. *Dr. Alphys:* Una científica brillante que ayuda a Frisk con el conocimiento médico y la investigación de curas.

2. *Napstablook:* Un espectro melancólico que proporciona música relajante para calmar a los pacientes.

3. *Mamá toriel:* una mujer cabra que cuida de la gente que cae al sub suelo, algo nerviosa y muy maternal aunque sueles tener un apego emocional no sano por las personas que cuida, alguna vez fue la Reyna del sub suelo eso es lo único que sabes.

4. *flowey:* dura te los primeros minutos lo salvas de algunas ratas y el aunque intenta atacar realmente no causa mucho daño por lo que lo terminas adoptando como posible mascota o comida de emergencia.

5.*Monster kid and annoying dogs:* los dos son como un perro que hay que cuidar, te caen bien.

6.*papyrus:* sigo sin creerme que sea el hermano menor, es energético y muy curioso como un ratón me cae bien pero siento como si algo gritara que tengo que tener mejor trato con el o estaré muerto.

---

**Neutrales actuales:**

1.*sans:* el realmente no tiene una opinión sobre ti ni tu de el pero sientes que oculta algo más no es problema tuyo por lo que no lo mencionas ni el menciona nada de ti aún haci sus bromas dan risa.

2.*muffet:* a ella no le importas mucho mientras compres sus comidas y "remedios" entoces seras amado.

3*moustros en general:* no les importas y punto, están muy ocupado tratando de cuidarse de enfermarse que tu te vuelves solo otro loco que cree que puede conseguir cura, tu realmente piensa que algunos son muy irritantes.

4.*temmie:* solo me alejare de ellos...

5.*grillby:* el es muy callado pero su comida es buena y es un buen tipo.

---

**Enemigos actuales:**

1. *Undyne:* es una chica muy fuerte y me quiere muerto me culpa de que la infección en el sub suelo comenzar realmente estoy confundido.

2.*moustros infectados o de la guardia:* me quieren muerto o infectar me.

3.*mettaton:* no tienes idea de cómo los monstruos progresaron tanto en la tecnología pero esa maquina de huma y tuercas parece querer revanarme en dos.

4.*rey asgore:* solo he escuchado de el pero no parece muy feliz de que más humanos caigan mucho menos que caigan vivos.

---

**??‽‽¿?:**

1.*chara:* 'a la final de todo sigo siendo yo' creo.

2.*asriel:* quien era ese niño cabra de la foto de toriel...?

---

**Misión Final:**

Frisk busca encontrar la "Panacea de la Determinación", una flor única que se cree es la solución para la peste.

---

[voradtras]

i've seen this character playlist challenge post resurfacing lately so i'd like to expand on the idea and create a more fully-fledged, more difficult challenge that'll hopefully expand your music horizons beyond the usual tumblrcore/fandom music taste

the challenge

create a character playlist of at least twenty (20+) songs without using the artists and genres listed below* in under an hour

("below" meaning below the readmore)

the restrictions

no artist can appear in the playlist twice

you must have at least three (3+) distinct genres in your playlist

you must include at least three (3+) artists with less than 100,000 listeners on spotify

you must include at least three (3+) songs that are primarily in a language other than english

you must include at least one (1+) hip hop/rap song from a non-white person (be creative with this! rap has a diverse range of sounds from doja cat to dr. dre to death grips)

you must include at least one (1+) song thats from a reasonably obscure and/or underground genre (this does not count to your 3+ distinct genres requirement)

some of these restrictions can be met simultaneously (e.g. a spanish rap song fulfills both the non-english language requirement and the hiphop/rap requirement)

feel free to reblog with your playlist in either the tags or the caption! i'd love to see what people come up with :)

restricted artists/genres are below the readmore

restricted genres/categories

video game osts

musical theatre/showtunes

steven universe songs

five nights at freddys songs

disney movie/tv songs

hazbin hotel/helluva boss songs

homestuck songs

anime ops/eds

anything made by lin manuel miranda

anything made by at least one of the beatles

anything produced by jack antonoff

all kpop groups and artists from SM, YG, JYP, and HYBE/big hit

restricted artists

when in doubt, use ctrl-f or a similar find/search function

mother mother

lemon demon/neil cicierega

my chemical romance

fall out boy

panic! at the disco

imagine dragons

bastille

linkin park

paramore

derivakat

billie eilish

mitski

marina

mountain goats

penelope scott

cavetown

florence and the machine

halsey

oh hellos

crane wives

sleeping at last

ajr

will wood

ricky montgomery

hozier

jack stauber

twenty one pilots

idk how but they found me

coldplay

lana del rey

taylor swift

harry styles

glass animals

conan grey

tally hall

cigarettes after sex

arctic monkeys

machine gun kelly

eminem

phoebe bridgers

bo burnham

olivia rodrigo

beebadoobee

mumford and sons

melanie martinez

lovejoy/wilbur soot

beach bunny

mac miller

joji

weezer

ac/dc

nine inch nails

ajj

the weeknd

david bowie

they might be giants

vampire weekend

the chainsmokers

car seat headrest

joy division

maneskin

cosmo sheldrake

led zeppelin

guns and roses

radiohead

the national

cage the elephant

tegan and sara

black country new road

mxmtoon

bill wurtz

muse

rob zombie

the white stripes

oingo boingo

major lazer

zedd

iron maiden

gorillaz

metallica

marshmello

mori calliope

corpse

tones and i

glaive

all time low

simon and garfunkel

lewis capaldi

arcade fire

slipknot

foo fighters

girl in red

death cab for cutie

of monsters and men

ghost

tramp stamps

sufjan stevens

depeche mode

chvrches

oasis

system of a down

rammstein

porter robinson

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Kakashi’s Story- Chapter Four (because i am WEAK)

Margo choosing to fight because sue doesn’t want to leave Nanara is so sweet! Also a pot fir armor is just *chefs kiss* beautiful. Love these villagers.

Kakashi… KAKASHI WHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR HEADBAND OVER YOUR LEFT EYE!?

‘The release of the chakra to create a wall that huge would come with some serious shaking and a loud roar’ love that Kakashi’s skills keep getting highlighted in such interesting fun ways.

‘This was incredible chakra control’ i’m going to need every person who doubts Kakashi’s chakra control to write a 500 word apology letter right now 😂😂😂

‘A ninja with hair that was silver like a wolf’s shining in the moonlight and a gaze sleepy like a goat’ i just - these comparisons do not much up but i love it so damn much

‘Who’s winning’ said by the biggest shit of the world, taunting his enemy in his own little way before knocking them out

‘Nah, there’s no way it’s just one person. It’s gotta be a combo technique’ oh boy how wrong you are XD i just… i love that it’s clear Kakashi’s skill is so above average that people expect him to be multiple shinobi.

I love that Kakashi, a trained assassine, is just knocking his opponents out. The growth in his character arc is delicious.

I also love that we get some sweet Kakashi and Iruka content.

‘Distracted bu the memory of Iruka’s proud face’ i say this with all of my Kakagai loving heart… SIMP

My beautiful man did a screw up and now he has to fight properly, all because he was distracted thinking about Iruka XD

‘He looked sort of sleepy’ the fact that this is the first thing people thing of when they see Kakashi is so hilarious. Nothing else, just sleepy looking.

Hatake Kakashi, Sixth Hokage, kicking all of the ass with *drumroll* a pot lid

‘It had to be an amazing pot lid that used chakra. That had to be it’ legit grasping at straws because it makes no sense that one man is kicking all of this ass XD

Kakashi lost his pot lid and put his enemy into a genjutsu in mere seconds!? KING

‘Their average ability was on a special jonin level’ not only can he kick ass, but he can determine his enemies skill level so quickly And determine just how hard this fight will be, which is… not hard at all.

‘To Kakashi they were a group of small time punks’ you cocky shit i love you

I love that they keep convincing themselves that there is more than one attacker. They simply cannot fathom the fact that they’re getting wrecked by one man XD

Two! A pot lid and a pot have now been used as weapon’s and destroyed XD

‘His opponent was a monster on an entirely different level’ ya, a Hokage’s level XD

Kakashi catching a Shuriken, chucking it back and then knocking out an opponent he caught in a trap. He’s so friggen quick.

‘The intruder was faster than wind’ the comparisons in Kakashi’s skill are delightful. I am loving every single second of this

I enjoy seeing them get cocking thinking they finally have the upper hand and will take the intruder down, only to have Kakashi kick their asses.

Genjutsu for the win again!

Kakashi wore his headband over his left eye… to make it easier to realize who he is??? The lil shit!

‘He had once been a Konoha shinobi. Until the sixth Hokage had dismissed him.’ Grudge! We have a shinobi with a grudge! *drinks this up greedily*

‘He would expect nothing less from Kakashi than the nerve to make the first love when surrounded by 12 people’ hatake Kakashi, world renowed lil shit and cocking f*** XD

‘Shin Hakubi, hm?’ Kakashi see’s and recognizes the dude immediately. He is the complete opposite to gai in this way (gai never remember faces while kakashi commits them to memory)

‘This was the greatest fortune of his life, going one-on-one with the Hokage when he’s used up his chakra’ do they just… forget he’s highly skilled in Taijutsu too? He goes toe to toe with gai, a taijutsu master, and they just… forget this?

KAKASHI USED GENJUTSU TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE HE STILL HAD THE SHARINGAN!? He didn’t even know who he was facing but he knew without a doubt he could use his title as ‘Kakashi of the Sharingan’ to scare the absolute shit out of his opponents.

‘But he saw my Raijin shuriken and hit them. There’s no way he could pull off a trick like that without the sharingan’ think again b***

‘After learning that he had repeatedly robbed civilians on missions, Kakashi had dismissed him’ good. No thieving trash allowed

Kakashi got the beat the crap out of the POS who hurt that little girl! Go baby!!!

This chapter was so good! There’s the action, the stealth, the intelligence. I love Kakashi so much because i got invested into this universe for the Shinobi and he’s an actual representation of a talebted well rounded shinobi

I love seeing him in his zone. Being a stealthy little shit but also cocky af because he knows he has this. He knows he won’t lose. It’s brilliant!

[circusgoth-dotcom]

𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚆𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛

The clown that once ran @painted-piggy-ships-archive has now taken up residence here after feeling exhausted with my very first self ship blog. It served me well for almost three years (the blog itself turns 3 in February of 2023). Can you believe I only joined Tumblr in 2020?

Anywho, the name’s Gabriel/Corey/Clownie and I am mostly attracted to a vast selection of fictional villains, but my other consistent interests include the arts (particularly film and writing) and the horror genre. This blog will be a mix of self shipping content and personal ramblings. I don’t often post straight up ns//ft content but my sense of humor can be raunchy at times and the content I’m interested in often tends to be gory/violent if not also sexual in nature so viewer discretion is advised.

Current Pronouns: They/Them, It/Its, Hye/Hymn/Hymnself, He/Him, Glow/Glows, Halo/Halos, ⭐/⭐s/⭐self, 🎄/🎄s/🎄self, ☎️/☎️s/☎️self, 🪓/🪓s/🪓self

Other Blogs: Horror Content - @phone-in-the-attic Film Reviews/etc - @cinephile-inc Batman Content - @the-jokers-husband Harry Potter Content (For people who hate JKR and aren’t terfs/bigots/etc only, of course) - @that-transsexual-slytherin (previously “americannslytherinn”) FNAF AU blog - @wheretheresaway-theresawilliam Sheep & Goat blog - @sweetness-of-the-lambs Stim blog - @carnival-stims Main/Dump - @offbeat-the-clownlord 18+ Blog - Ask for link if of age and interested ;0)

DNI: Terfs, bigots (racists, homophobes, etc), Joker/Harley shippers, proshippers, generally hateful people

F/o list below the cut (Short version) | See the complete version here!

Key: 💗 = Main | 💞 = Secondary | 💝 = Tertiary | 🏡 = Familial | 🌻 = Platonic | ✨ = Main Focus | 🔒 + bold = Not Comfortable Sharing

Structure: [f/o name] [source] | [relationship status or type] [marriage or engagement date if applicable] | [tag]

🔒✨ 💗 The Joker [DC Comics] | Married (12•04•21) | 🃏A Joker and His Ace🃏

💗 Wade Wilson/Deadpool [MARVEL Comics] | Married (07•12•22) | 💣Bulletproof Boys💣

🔒✨ 💗 Jack Torrance [The Shining] | Married (12•31•22) | 🪓Darling - Light of My Life🪓

🔒✨ 💗 Charles “Chucky” Lee Ray [Child’s Play franchise] | Married (03•19•20) | 🌈Foul-Mouthed Little Fucker🌈

✨ 💗 Betelgeuse [Beetlejuice] | Married (10•01•20) | 🪲Two Bugs in A Rug🪲 [🐞Two Bugs in A Rug🐞]

🔒✨ 💗 Severus Snape [Harry Potter Franchise] | Married (date n/a) | ⛅He Saw a Glow in The Darkness⛅

🔒💞 Michael Myers [Halloween franchise] | Dating | 🔪The Night He Came Home🎃

💞 Anton Chigurh [No Country For Old Men] | Dating | 🐮Sugar Bully🐮

💞 Dr. Otto Octavius [Spider-Man 2 (2004)] | Dating | 🐙6 Arms to Hold You Tight / Does That Make You an Insect???🐙

💞 The Metatron [Dogma] | Dating | 👁The Metatron🪶

🔒💝 Hannibal Lecter [NBC’s Hannibal] | Dating | 🍽️Ella et Porcus🍽️

🔒💝 Sweeney Todd [Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street] | Married (08•19•21) | 💈I Will Learn to Love Again💈

💝 Dr. Frank-n-Furter [Rocky Horror Picture Show] | Dating | 👠Material Girl👠

💝 Ashley “Ash” Joanna Williams [Evil Dead franchise] | Dating | 🍂Good. Bad. He’s The Guy With My Heart.🍂

💝 Scott Pilgrim & Ramona Flowers [Scott Pilgrim series/franchise] | Dating | ❗Multiplayer❗

💝 John Kramer [Saw franchise] | Married (08•17•23) | 🧩The Missing Pieces🧩

🔒 🏡 Pamela Voorhees [Friday the 13th] | Adoptive Mother | 🧸Mama Voorhees🧸

🔒 🏡 Jason Voorhees [Friday the 13th] | Adoptive Brother | 🧸Jason🧸

🏡 Morticia Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Mother | 🥀Black Is Such a Happy Colour🥀

🏡 Gomez Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Father | 🤺Either Way What Bliss🤺

🏡 Wednesday Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Sister | ☠️Poison Sister☠️

🏡 Pugsley Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Brother | 🧨Explosive Brother🧨

🏡 Fester Addams [The Addams Family] | Adoptive Uncle | 💡Uncle Fester💡

🏡 Addams “catch-all” tag: 🕷️*Snap Snap!*🕷️

🏡 The Sawyer Brothers [The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Pt. 1 & 2] | Cousins | 🍖Sawyer Family Shenanigans🍖

🏡 Glen & Glenda Ray/G.G. [Child’s Play franchise] | Step-kids/kid | 🎸Rebel & Rhinestone🎀

🏡 J. Jonah Jameson [Raimiverse Spider-Man] | Uncle | 🗞️

🏡 Fairy Godmother [Shrek] | Adoptive Mother | 🔮Just a MA! Away🔮

🏡 Prince Charming [Shrek] | Adoptive Brother | 👑Charming Siblings👑

🏡 Lydia Deetz [Beetlejuice] | Step-sister | ☔My Whole Life Is One Big Dark Room☔

🏡 Harry James Potter [Harry Potter Franchise] | Adoptive Son | ⚡👓

🌻 Tiffany Ray-Valentine [Child’s Play franchise] | 👰Living Dead Girl👰

🌻 Barbra & Adam Maitland [Beetlejuice] | 🌻👻 [🌻]

🌻 Peter Parker [MCU & Raimiverse] | 🕸️Spiderboy🕸️

🌻 Nellie Lovett [Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street] | 🥧Try It! (You Might Like It)🥧

🌻 Jay & Silent Bob [View Askewniverse] | 🧢The One That Talks (Jay)🧢/🧢Cute Motherfucker🧢

🌻 Dante Hicks [Clerks Trilogy/View Askewniverse] | 🏒What Are You Looking At Ya Hockey Puck (Dante)🏒

[ao3feed-narlie]

The Road Home

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/9hCrc6q by Lockerberry, unhingedlatte Nick Nelson, who lost his mother five years ago, has been working tirelessly to obtain his family's farm. He has embraced solitude, convinced that it brings him contentment. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he encounters Charlie Spring. Charlie's arrival shakes up Nick’s world, challenging his beliefs and ultimately, changing his perspective on life. As their relationship develops, Nick begins to realise that companionship and connection are essential ingredients for true happiness, and just maybe, he should embrace the new person and find a new type of joy in his life. Essentially, a tale of loss, grief, friendship, and love. Farm boy Nick meets posh boy Charlie then sparks begin to fly. Words: 11974, Chapters: 1/20, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M Characters: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Imogen Heaney, Sarah Nelson, Nellie Nelson, Tao Xu, Elle Argent, Tara Jones, Darcy Olsson, Victoria "Tori" Spring, Oliver "Olly" Spring Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Fluff, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson Needs a Hug, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper) Needs a Hug, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper) has an Eating Disorder, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson has Strong Rugby Arms, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Farmer Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Protective Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Protective Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Eventual Smut, Eventual Happy Ending, Tags May Change, Aged-Up Oliver Spring, Plant Dad Charles "Charlie" Spring, Hallucinations, Loss of Parent(s), Family Loss, Scotland, Slow Burn, Idiots in Love, Boys In Love, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Sheep & Goats, Chickens, Cowboy Hats, Horseback Riding, Horses, Cowboy Nicholas “Nick” Nelson read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/9hCrc6q

[f1cha0s]

I’m ready to come up with my final theory. This version is less messier!

A and F broke up at end of Jan/early Feb after that skiing trip in Italy. But F’s PR team or more likely AM’s PR team believed that it is not a good idea to release the news at that time. The season was about to start and they want the public to focus on the car rather than F’s personal life. I also remember people were joking that F changes teams as frequently as gfs at that time. People were wondering how long would he stay at AM before he burnt the bridge again. AM for sure doesn’t want that image of him. PR team prob decided that one month break between AUS and Baku would be a better timing. I think the strategy worked well as the time they announced the break up, everyone was just like oh he must be really focusing on winning 33 and 3rd title. All interactions between A and F starting Feb were PR. This explained that they hugged each other and posted photos together. Even after the break up announcement, they still liked each other’s posts.

But in reality, F already started seeing M( either cheating or simply move on to another journalist very fast. our messy boy).

By the time F and M got caught together in Monaco, A felt she was fooled by F to play the PR game for him. She may think F was using her to hide the new relationship all these days. She may also wonder if F cheated on her, especially it is such short period of time and with another journalist in the paddock. I mean I would feel the same if I were her. I bet there were also gossip in that small paddock going around that people were like oh no wonder I saw F and M being so close in previous races. She got mad and decided to block both of them. Around that time, she made a instagram story saying need to learn how to trust again. I couldn’t remember the exact timing (someone help me with this one plz!). After people found out the block drama, the PR team worked on it again and they followed each other back.

PS: in this theory, the PR team is really working overtime every single day!

I think that regardless of what version we believe, in every single one Andrea has every right to be angry at him lmao

PR teams are the real goats of this sport fr

[wyndford-dekarios-majima]

Kermit, Muppet Labs, and Statler n Waldorf for ursa minor

Kermit The Frog - Would you say that your F/O is more level-headed and has things under control, or are they more likely to be two steps away from exploding at all times? // I'd say he generally has things under control. He seems to be the most by-the-books out of all the wolf boys.

Muppet Labs - Is your F/O more of a left brain person or right brain? (Logical or Creative problem solver?) // Creative, actually. Sure, he sticks to the books, but he's looking to expand those books. It's also part of the job, honestly. Every monster is different.

Statler and Waldorf - Is your F/O generally a grouch and sarcastic or more kind and would feel terrible being mean to anyone? // I'm not going to say he can't be grouchy, but I don't think a mean man would keep a goat that was intended as bait and didn't get eaten and name it Lil Bleater. Just my two cents.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Rap God

It’s wild watching cats besmirch Eminem’s name, like he’s just some modern day Vanilla Ice or some sh*t. Marshall Mathers might not be the GOAT, my personal number one is Biggie, but he’s damn close. Easily top ten, arguably top five, based strictly on his skill as a rapper. Em has it all; Wordplay, cadence, breath control, flow, and bars. This cat can spit that hot fire. Seriously, Eminem is that dude when it comes to clever lyrical content. Put him up against your favorite rapper and he will eat them alive. He’s done it to Jay-Z, Drake, and Kanye West; Cats considered to be the top of their respective eras. Hell, Eminem’s verse on Forever is the best on that record, by far, and it has every artists I listed just now, on it. The only cat who can claim to have shared a song with Eminem and not get absolutely embarrassed is Lil Wayne. I’m not even a fan of that dude but I understand how talented he is and, for him to make it a point to just pull even with Em, is saying a whole hell of a lot about Marhsall. It says even more that Wayne, himself, has pure respect for Eminem and isn’t shy to say speak to that sh*t out loud.

Indeed, most serious Rappers will sing Em’s praises because they know. I’m talking Jay-Z, 50 Cent, Tony Yayo, J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar, Cardi B, T.I., Big Sean, Busta Rhymes, Redman, Nas, and the list goes on. These are greats of the genre, speaking on their admiration of, and for some, direct influence from, Slim Shady. Admittedly, he’s not as big as he was when I was young and a lot of what Rap has become seems more Pop than anything nowadays, but that’s all the more reasons to give Marshall his flowers. In a world where Lil Xan, Post Malone, and the Kid Laroi are topping the charts and strangling the airwaves, having a track like Rap God grace my ears is like getting a tall glass of ice cold water after struggling in that Arizona summer heat. And don’t let the fact that the three Rappers I chose for this example are whit, go over your head because Eminem allowed that to happen. Rap, and Hip Hop as a whole, is black people music. We made it. We proliferated it. We were very protective of it. White kids didn’t have a chance. You had to be on point to even be taken seriously in the rap game and Eminem was definitely that. Mans single-handedly shattered the color barrier and paved the way for other white boys to even spit raps on wax. Before him, it was the Beastie Boys and Vanilla f*cking Ice. After him, you get MGK, Lil Peep, Asher Roth, and Mac Miller. Eminem did that by being a straight up dog on the mic and downplaying that because “his records don’t play in the club” or “because he’s white” is the dumbest sh*t I have ever heard in my entire goddamn life.

[xiexiecaptain]

Shadow & Bone rewatch deep dive commentary that was started on twitter and is being moved/continued here!

This is the post for EP 04: Otkazats’ya

[Episode 01 post] [Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]

((There WILL be spoilers mentioned for the books in the Grishaverse including the Crows duology & King of Scars duology! This is basically from the perspective of watching the show as someone who knows the books well.))

(Just a disclaimer that I’m picking up doing these commentary posts from here after season 2 is out! Just fyi, I might mention s2 stuff in these where it wasn’t mentioned in the posts for eps 1-3)

--

Omg not the captain singing the drinking song Nina sang to Inej in the hold of the ship on the way to Fjerda

I love how they just toss in background book details in new places to color in the world! You can tell everyone working on constructing this show was such a massive fan of the books and it warms my heart

--

As always, I’m just enamored by the linguistics and writing systems the show has designed and fleshed out for all the languages!! They make the world feel so lived-in!

--

Poor Mal. He really feels so powerless and helpless; even to people who are super devoted, sheer faith and longing can’t keep people going forever.

Boy is living on crumbs atm

--

Mean Girls (2004) voice: AND NONE FOR MAL ORETSEV BYE

--

These two are so pure i can’t get over it. 

Thank you for giving Mal close relationships (even if they eat it soon) other than Alina!

--

NOT GENYA CALLING HER SUNSHINE-!!!

😭 😭 😭 

--

YEAH ITS CUS HE WANTS TO FEEL OWNERSHIP OVER YOU ALINA

--

Yep yep giving her crumbs of vulnerability to draw her in. 

Top tier manipulator shit.

--

Jesper’s hair and expression here I’m fucking laughing so hard

He looks like he just woke up from a week-long bender omfg.

 Jesper, honey, I’m begging you, drink some water along with whatever alcoholic beverage is in that glass

--

LOVE LOVE LOVE how they find ways to weave the Crows’ plotlines into the S&B book plot.

Using the Winter Fete party as distraction was probably drawn from them using Hringkälla for the Ice Court job. But I suppose in the show it’s gonna be the other way around now which is funny. They’re probably gonna be like “Well, remember how we snuck into the Little Palace in Ravka because of their big celebration? Let’s do that with this job too!”

Very Beethoven/Bootstrap Paradox meta shit here and it makes me laugh

--

Kaz Brekker has never taken a day off in his entire life and it shows

--

LOOK HOW EXCITED THEY ARE

Even Inej is trying not to burst out grinning

Same you guys

I always get hyped as fuck for a heist!

--

You’ve heard of Chekov’s gun, but we’ve finally found Chekov’s bullet

--

The fucking barmaid’s face 

I can’t

“Who is this strange Zemeni dude and why did he dump a goat in my arms and start speaking softly and mournfully to it in Kerch???”

--

Not him blowing Milo a kiss

I LOVE JESPER FAHEY AND HIS DRAMATIC BISEXUAL ASS

--

LYING THROUGH HIS GD TEETH AGAIN

Spinning his fake little sob stories

Manipulator 👏 Shit 👏

--

I do appreciate this way of trying to make exposition about the Black Heretic story more active

And making the scene serve several purposes at once (Kirigan trying to draw Alina in with his ~relatable outcast~ stuff, as well as giving the viewers the backstory)

--

-

Again, I’m just glad these three got to be on-screen. It gives Mal other people around him that matter. (Which does then help fuel/motivate his devotion to Alina as we go forward.)

That was really also one of the things that bugged me about book!Mal (Although, to be fair, it might be less of a writing issue than a personal one) but it sticks in my craw when characters are single-person focused. (Unless that’s, like, part of their character shit to figure out, them feeling lonely or co-dependent, etc.) 

Like I do understand it’s kind of been “Mal and Alina against the world” since they were young. But they haven’t always been together since they joined the military. Having relationships that span back for a long, long time can be powerful, don’t get me wrong. But length of a relationship isn’t the only measure of its importance.

I think part of it was that we only got Alina’s POV and so Mal in some parts of the series felt very one-note, unmotivated, unbelievable, etc. Because all we got was what he managed to say to Alina when he was actually present and interacting with Alina (which didn’t happen for a large part of books 1 and 3.)

--

The lesbian skepticism on Nadia’s face-!!!

--

I will never, in my life, get over Freddy’s acting as Kaz acting as a stuffy fancy ~artíst~

--

CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER

I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM

--

Ok so remember when this was the first sneak-peek scene they released of the Crows and we got to see them in action together for the first time??

It reminded me of my thoughts about Freddy’s voice as Kaz. 

At first I was like “oh, hmm, he’s got kind of a higher, smooth voice as opposed to the way Kaz’s voice is described in the books” which is that rough gravely “rock-salt rasp.”

But as an iteration of Kaz (pluralism is my friend, you guys) Freddy’s voice for him is something I actually super love? 

Like it’s a different sort of menacing. It can feel icy, if that makes sense. Like the higher register lends itself to his voice sounding cold, and the smoothness comes across as that kind of menacing sort of calmness. I dunno I just dig it.

--

I know we talk a lot about Inej’s knives (for good reason) 

But dear saints I love Inej being invisible soundless sneaky. 

I know she’d dislike me saying it, but honestly, she’s goddess material. This woman deserves to be lauded and honored at every opportunity.

--

What’s that meme again? “My idea of help from above is a sniper on the roof?”

Also, him waiting for the clock to chime to disguise the gunshot-!!!

Clawing my face off because I love my clever clever little thieves so much

--

[“Oh, and Inej,�� he said as he led her out of the salon, “don’t ever sneak up on me again.”

The truth was she’d tried to sneak up on Kaz plenty of time since then. She’d never managed it. It was as if once Kaz had seen her, he’d understood how to keep seeing her.”]

Ok so we all agree that Kaz 100% did the same thing as with the magician he saw as a kid, right? Where he was obsessed with figuring out how the trick worked and unraveling it so he could learn to see what was actually happening?

Like [“Some people see a magic trick and say, “Impossible!” [...] And then there are the ones who stay awake, running through the trick again and again, looking for that skip in perception, the crack in the illusion that will explain how their eyes got duped; they’re the kind who won’t rest until they’ve mastered that little bit of mystery for themselves. I’m that kind.”]

INEJ WAS A PUZZLE HE THOUGHT ABOUT OVER AND OVER UNTIL HE FIGURED IT OUT

--

Oh, yknow, just reviewing stolen high-security floorplans in a public bar. As one does.

--

Lmao so basically my entire family hunts (northern woodlands, man) and I’m relatively sure my grandma has something that looks pretty much exactly like this

--

every friend group has someone like this in it

(in my experience said friend is usually a transmasc gremlin type)

--

fucking Mal just Very Seriously doing his Very Serious tracking while these two chucklefucks discuss selling literal shit in the background

--

knowing our beloved nina, the amount of sheer willpower she’s dredging up to refuse food is seriously impressive

--

she aint wrong, matty boy

--

ok so this is actually super interesting?? Because it speaks to Matthias having subtle curiosities/doubts about grisha and not fully understanding why someone would become grisha since he believes  (read: was told) they weren’t just born that way.

In the books we never got to see Matthias speak to Nina alone until the shipwreck, there was always either other drüskelle and/or the other grisha captives on the ship (I mean there are other captives tied up here but they aren’t all shoved into a cage together so Nina and Matthias can have their own conversation)

I really like this little peek into Matthias trying to make sense of the indoctrination he was fed

--

yeah exactly, he’s trying to assuage his doubts about how “human” feeling Nina is because it’s gnawing at the indoctrination of dehumanization he’s been taught

--

Also, i love the camera work in this scene -- the lights are all hazy with lots of lens-flares and the shots are so so tight and close!

We’re putting two characters whose circumstances of birth and country and beliefs are so diametrically opposed together. But here they’re having a brief moment of connection where they each have a glimpse of each other’s humanity (in between all the vitriol.)

By cutting in close and having the rest of the “world” feel “out of focus” or “out of shot” it’s allowing this moment to feel like they can be two people for a brief moment rather than grisha and drüskelle. I adore it.

-

Yeah, see and then when they start talking politics about the Darkling, more of the shots have the camera pulling back a bit, because the “world” outside the two of them is shoving distance back between them

(Obv this is not an exact one-to-one this mapping of shots, but the scene in general does that and its really cool)

And then it pushes back in and gets more hazy again when Matthias has a moment of decency and offers Nina the bread without strings attached

mwuah! chef kiss!

--

ofc then it falls apart because these two are the most stubborn (affectionate, exasperated) people on the entire planet who can’t EXIST without taking petty jibes at each other

-

Just taking a moment to appreciate Calahan Skogman because he plays Matthias so incredibly well

I’m hoping so damn hard we get to see the Ice Court job adapted so we can see Matthias get let out of detention so he can go run and play with the other kids at recess

--

These are the faces of two exhausted parents at the end of a frustrating day with their excitable son and I’m living for it

--

LISTEN YOU TWO

AT LEAST JESPER IS COMING UP WITH IDEAS, STOP GLARING

--

Ok but this troupe leader, Marko, actually comes off as such a wholesome guy? I lowkey love his face?? 

Look how tear-stained and puff from crying it is?! This poor guy finally got to perform for royalty and thought his lifelong dreams had just been crushed and was sobbing into a mug of beer!

--

Inej entrusting Kaz with her knives DOES something to me, you guys

There is a fucking novel of unspoken words in these expressions I’m gonna gnaw my couch cushions in to piecessss-!

--

He’s so cute you guys I hope he still has a long and fruitful career even after all the fuckery that goes down at the Winter Fete

--

This whole scene has me gazing in adoration like a doting parent

Me to the person next to me, pointing, with a camcorder in my hand: Those are my kids!!! God, they’re so talented, I’m so proud of them!!

--

The fact that they made up entirely new playing card suits for this world-!!!

Honestly so much of what makes this world come to life in the show is thanks to how much AMAZING work the props and set people did??? 

They obviously loved and cared about the grishaverse so much, you can see in the sets and the costumes and the props how much work was put into making this world come to life and feel like a world that really exists with all its little bits and bobs and details!

That kind of worldbuilding minutia stuff just makes my brain go brrrrrr

--

Also I haven’t mentioned anything about the soundtrack yet but hot damn they’ve done so much to make it atmospheric but also do the A+ soundtrack thing of weaving musical themes for characters/groups

--

Ok tho Kaz 10000% could have gotten in as a performer too. Man’s got mad slight-of-hand skills he could definitely go in as a stage magician

--

It’s time for 🎶✨~Alina’s Emotional Mushroom Trip~ 🎶✨

--

Of course she was! 

I feel like its super obvious that two orphan kids who’ve been through trauma and made a close connection would crave the stability of the life they have with a beloved friend, especially over an unknown where they would be alone and in a new place again having to start over???

I mean, she says she was thinking of Mal and not herself, but it’s both. Because him being alone would mean she would also be alone. 

Alina was a scared little kid who had lost everything and was doing what she thought would keep everything she knew from being ripped away again.

--

I feel like in the books the dynamic of Darklina in the first book, it was obvious/deliberate that Alina felt very isolated at the Little Palace and so was kind of always steered back to the Darkling for scraps of affirmations or reassurances, plus the draw of their powers compounding this manipulation net the Darkling pulled her in by.

The dynamic feels different in the show, for a few reasons. I think Alina being aged up contributes to that. Also, we don’t get Alina’s interiority and descriptions of how her/the Darkling’s powers feel and pull her. 

(Also Jessie and Ben have Very Good on-screen chemistry. And Ben Barnes is, well, Ben Barnes so the attraction-angle of the pull toward him is very believable.) 

I mean, while Alina is aged up, she’s still a young woman. Her whole life she has overwhelmingly felt less than, invisible, and nothing special. And someone powerful is now telling her she’s unique and powerful and he’s the only one who understands her. 

While Alina is still obviously manipulated heavily in the show, it feels less extreme? I don’t know how to word it?

Other contributing factors I think are her actually making closer friends at the Little Palace and that in the show we don’t see that extended period of time of her struggling and struggling and feeling like shit and powerless and “Other”-ed again. Also because we are shown that Mal DOES super care about her, rather than only getting her speculating and worrying. 

-

And not only on Alina’s end is it different but I feel like the show we get shown more of Kirigan feeling helpless (something which is both authentic and strategic.)

Like I think its definitely real that he is struggling with these feelings of helplessness and futility in moving towards his goals. 

But he is very deliberate in the ways he goes about showing it to Alina to make her feel like he’s letting his guard down with her and to garner sympathy with. As Baghra says towards the end of the season, giving Alina “a glimpse of the wounded boy.”

And it’s a huge credit to Ben Barnes that I feel that simultaneous nature. 

Like in the moment, you do believe him in his pain and his loneliness. Because that is real. 

But then you step back and realize he’s only showing it and showing it in such a way to weaponize it to cultivate those feelings of sympathy in Alina and keep her from seeing him as dangerous to her. 

Ben Barnes’s performance really sells the Darkling so well. Because these things are all true: he has seen people die and is lonely and feels like he has to claw his way toward any change he can achieve.

But he is also playing bits of that up in very strategic ways in Alina’s presence to manipulate her.

(I always feel like I’m not gonna have more to say about the Darkling and then I end up writing a novel about it??)

-- 

”B-b-but- 

Wait, was I the only one who believed we were actually giving them a fair trial?!?”

--

My parents’ walks to school, according to them.

--

Listen, I just love them

--

I LOVE THEM PUTTING TIME AND THOUGHT INTO SPRINKLING IN WORLDBUILDING

END ME

-

Listen all I can think about when I watch this scene is how this actor probably spent 9 hours in hair and makeup and wardrobe just to stand there, grab a stack of letters, shake his head, and walk away because he was a non-speaking extra and if he said “No” out loud they would have had to pay him the under-5-lines rate

--

Get that shit outta here, Baghra, we celebrate interdependence in this household!!

Also, the entirety of season 2’s themes would also like a word with you 👀👀

--

Ok not to sound like my northern midwestern mother but

CHILD DO NOT GO OUT IN THE COLD! AND SNOW! AT NIGHT! WITHOUT A FUCKING HAT ON?

You’re gonna get frostbite, Mal!! 

It is AT LEAST below 10°F with how crunchy that snow sounds!!

--

Honestly, good for Alina. proud of her

--

This is funny to me because I know Jessie had a habit of just napping constantly in random places on set

--

Just BFF things: having matching palm scars

--

ARCHIEEEEE

Sometimes I feel for Archie because it can’t be easy playing Mal who, as characters in the grishaverse go, isn’t exactly the biggest fan favorite

And yet he’s out here giving us performances of this caliber

I see you and I love you Mr. Renaux

-

And that’s the end of episode 4!

[Episode 01 post] [Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]

[litlunacy]

Sending #7, #24, and #36 for Ximena :D but feel free to answer for your other apprentices instead or as well if you prefer! 💖

I'll answer for Ximena, Lilith and Zuri. Also under a cut, because boy this got long.

7. What's their design? Do they have a reference sheet? What made you choose that specific color scheme/fashion style/etc.?

Everyone has a collection of notes on my phone, as well as a few picrews and such. I'll probably post those at some point.

Ximena - Height: 5'6" / Hair: Black, long, just wavy enough to be unruly / Eyes: She has heterochromia. The left is pale green, the right pale blue. / Her fashion sense is lots of silver jewelry and mostly very loose, flowy fabrics in bright colors. Her main color scheme is blue and white, because I like opposites and Julian's is red and black.

Lilith - Height: 5'10" / Hair: Pale silver-purple, blunt bangs, very long and straight / Eyes: Gold / Her fashion sense is lots of tight, revealing dresses in black and shades of red and her super expensive heeled boots. She also likes gold and jewels. Most of Lilith's design was, again, based on opposites. Lucio is pale as hell, so her skin is dark. His hair is gold, hers silver. He has silver eyes, she has gold. He likes white and she likes black. And then I wanted her to share his expensive taste, just less gaudy.

24. What's their relationship to the main 6?

Zuri - Height: 5'1" / Hair: Dark blue, short and shaggy in the back, two longer braids in front, messy bangs / Eyes: Black / She likes baggy, dark clothes that basically swamp her tiny frame. She also always wears a dark purple cloak that Asra gave her. Her design was mostly influenced by how she wants to hide herself and be as small as possible.

I talked about Ximena's relationship with the M6 here. But she is absolutely head over heels for Julian, even if she has to knock some sense into him every now and then, and basically gets along with everyone but Lucio. Goat boy can suck it.

Lilith loves Lucio, but boy does he try her patience. Which oddly enough makes her seek out Nadia for drinks and friendly whining about him with someone who very much understands. She gave Asra the shop when she and Lucio decided to travel and do the merc thing, and they talk sometimes, but what little friendship they had sort of fizzled. She met Julian like, once, and her impression was mostly 'wtf dude'. She likes Portia, is always polite when they stay at the palace, and appreciates how much she speaks her mind. Lilith doesn't know Muriel at all, and he'd like to keep it that way.

Zuri is almost attached to Asra at the hip. He hung the moon as far as she's concerned. Julian scared the absolute fuck out her that night he broke in, poor girl was in tears, and it takes a lot of apologies and him very carefully avoiding her personal space before she feels comfortable with him. They do become friends, but he still does 99% of the talking and makes her jump if he gets too loud. Nadia intimidates her, but she also really looks up to her and wishes she could be more like her. She thinks Portia is a lot of fun, and she really enjoys the sweets she makes and playing with Pepi. She actually gets along very well with Muriel, if only because neither of them really like people and they can both sit in total silence together for hours and not feel awkward. And Lucio is the only person she can say that she has ever really, truly hated. She hopes he suffers like he caused the people she loves to suffer.

36. What was their relationship with their aunt like? With the rest of their family?

Ximena had a fantastic relationship with her aunt Angelina. She and her parents made the trip from Zadith every summer to stay in Vesuvia at the shop, and it was her dad and Aunt Angie who taught her magic. (Angelina was all about green magic, Nazir was more into the abstract.) It was her mom who taught her how to paint, and she picked up quite a bit of her mom's...unique fashion sense. She does remember and reconnect with her family post-main story.

Lilith does not remember her family, and does not care to. Whoever she was before is dead, and she wants nothing to do with the ghosts.

Zuri was raised by her aunt after the rest of her family died in a fire when she was four. She loved her aunt very much, and she was a very gentle and patient person. She was also one of the first people to die of the red plague, and her death was the thing that made Zuri determined to stay and help find a cure. She doesn't ever remember this herself, but Asra does eventually tell her when she asks. It doesn't give her a terrible headache, and he shows her where their graves are. She starts leaving flowers every month.