#ezzy rambles

[ezzydean]

thank you so much for stopping by!!!

as one of my favorite screenshots and one that occasionally pops up in my head for no reason, i feel this seasonally fitting

i have no idea if this is a trick or a treat but it is a thing for sure

TRICK OR TREAT!!!!

(send me trick or treat and i'll gift you something random, send me trick or treat and a character/fandom/ship and i'll write you a little thing)

[transtisms]

the idea of social contagion has done irreparable damage to the average person’s ability to deal with trans people. By perpetuating the idea that being around trans people convinces MORE people to be trans, you make transness seem like a disease that must be stamped out.

On a smaller level, the amount of transphobic microaggressions that are predicated on this idea is insane. It’s an idea perpetuated even by people I know who would consider themselves to be allies and it gets so exhausting to deal with.

“Can’t anyone just be a lesbian/gay anymore?”

“Why are so many of your friends trans, is no one cis?”

and other such statements are unfortunately common

[ezzydean]

i know more about one of my closest friends right now than anyone else knows about him. because i don't care. not in a 'i don't care about you as a person' way. but i don't care. your past? it happened. who you are now? it's who you are. he's told me so much about what he's gone through that he hasn't ever told a single other person and one day he was like "I don't know why I want to tell you this stuff and you never ask to hear it but I want you to know these things about me, about why and how I am like this."

he wants to tell me because i don't ask. i don't care. it's not my right to know his story. it's not my business. he is who is he is and if he wants to tell me about that, great. if not? also great.

i have so many people in my life who are comfortable around me and tell me that they're just 'not like this around other people' and i think it's because i don't care that much. they're weird. they tell bad jokes. they like to sing songs to themselves as they work. they can be silly and strange and it's okay.

one motto we had in my kitchen at work was "i don't judge. i may question but i don't judge.' it's not always easy to do because we are raised to judge it seems. but when you can stop judging and just exist? let me tell you. it's amazing.

Can't express how stress free being open minded is.

Some lesbians use he/him? Oh cool.

Some people have people inside their head and sometimes it's fictional chars? Sick your brains like a pirate ship they're all working to run.

Some people like being treated like a pet dog? Bark bark bro.

Being fat isn't unhealthy but a perfectly normal type of body to have? Kinda beautiful how different we can all be.

Something doesn't make any fucking sense? Cool an opportunity to learn. And even if I can't figure it out it's cool we still have mysteries today.

[neglectedneuron]

I wanna completely re-theme my blog but I don’t know what the theme should be. feel free to send me asks or reply w/ suggestions cuz I need that. Anyway. skips away to pinterest for inspo

[agoodcupoftea]

Winter be like: Do I have a fever or are my hands just cold

[srk8t]

idk jf this makes sense but if lloyrumi was wlw i think it'll be THE toxic yuri kinda dynamic except its het... im wording this super wrong im sure but for some reason their dynamic always interests me. clarification, i do NOT ship lloyrumi and NEVER WILL. this is more of like, enjoying the dynamics these two have as a whole

[maybeimamuppet]

okay i gotta ask: why on earth did u and ur friends wish u had to wear a uniform for school? fjdhdjdjd

i’m going to use this as an opportunity to rant about school uniforms sorry rbehhdbd anyway

i went to an all girls school and our uniforms were actual hell. the shorts were always made with a cut in mind for boys (no hip room and a lotta room in the crotch) and the winter uniforms were thinner than the summer ones and were literally see-through (yikes) and the seams would always split in the armpit areas which was also not great plus the texture of the senior skirt was so evil on my sensory issues i hated it.

anyway sorry for that i’m curious what ur perspective on uniforms was.

(this is all btw not an attack on u i just can’t comprehend wanting school uniforms as i had to live with them)

hello friend

so

i went to school and live in the midwestern us which is v similar and my state especially is v similar to like. the us south to a certain extent (pls don’t come for me actual southerners lol) which is just to say people here are often very religious (christian) and looooove to put that on other people when they can especially children

so my schools all had p wild dress codes and even that for our state was pretty tame. shorts and skirts couldn’t be shorter than your fingertips at your sides even if you wore tights or leggings underneath (like. pants. even if you wore pants you still couldn’t wear them.) shirt sleeves had to be your whole hand wide and if they dipped too low into your chest (basically if they went past your collarbone) they also weren’t allowed. no flip flops or other open toed shoes. no heels. pants had to pull away from your legs a fingers width worth.

i got dress coded before i even hit puberty because i wore pants i had slightly outgrown that were too tight one day and you could see my panties through them by a teacher i didn’t even have or know and i was hysterical for the rest of the day bc i was so ashamed

the rules were also much more strictly enforced if you had curves at all. i was luckily for my sake very thin at the time but if you had any kind of hips or chest at all you just got busted all the time

i and most girls in my grade eventually just resorted to wearing baggy t-shirts and either leggings or jeans every day because there was literally nothing else we could wear. for me that was fine bc i care abt nothing except comfort and kind of liked it but for a lot of other girls in my grade thag was not the vibe we wanted

and by the time we were in eighth grade we were just like “if they’re gonna give us so many rules about how to dress to the point where we can’t even ✨express ourselves✨ the way they’re wanting why don’t they just give us a uniform we can wear and not worry about getting busted bc i forgot a cardigan to wear over this top that has the slightest shape to it or some shit”

like the rules were so bananas and so unfair and in place for such horseshit reasons that we just wanted to be done with it and have a uniform for less stress getting dressed in the morning honestly

we definitely wanted quality ones tho that sounds rough and i’m sorry you had to deal with that

[wyrmzier]

What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise? + Ezzy

Possibly his entire life. Kidding (or am I)

Ezzy has a pretty tragic life. Being the reincarnation of an eldritch death clock and taking on the name and duty of the angel of death Ezzy is already set up for an edgy life.

But he is a born into a loving family and has a good childhood up until his father, Sam, passes away from tuberculosis when Ezzy is ten. Ezzy is strife with grief and a now broken family. As the years go on Ezzy is plagued by mental health issues and isolation from his peers. When he is sixteen his visions and prophecies from G-d hit him head on, all of his dreams are prophetic, he gets hit with visions during his waking hours and they leave him temporarily paralyzed and often seizing when they are finished. This plus his already declining mental state leads into a breakdown where he goes into psychosis and has hallucinations and delusions. He cannot tell what is real or not. He cannot sleep. He is alone and he misses his dad.

This is during the 1910s-1920s and mental healthcare is almost nonexistent. His other father, Zipporah, tries his best, but most doctors reccomend permanent institutionalization at an asylum if they believe Zipporah at all. Zipporah doesn't wish that for his son and keeps him home. Eventually Ezzy tries to commit suicide by hanging himself, but is found by his brother and is unsuccessful.

Ezzy's teenage years are terrible and he often doesn't remember them. He manages to convince Zipporah to let him go to college in New York to live with a family friend, and luckily he gets his prophecies and visions mostly under control. He's not doing Great but hes not doing Bad. His psychosis comes and goes. He enjoys university studying history and writing. He learns French and discovers new music scenes. The family friend he lives with gives him a pet cat before he passes away. Ezzy then goes to live with his sister and her roommate. His sister keeps a careful eye on him. Ezzy gets a job at a radio station and meets a wonderful girl named Talia. They're set to get engaged when he gets a horrible vision: an impending war.

Ezzy gets drafted into a 25 year long war. It is horrible, and Ezzy wishes for nothing more than to go home. But when the war finally ends it leads him into another mental breakdown. A major one. He goes AWOL deep in his delusions and paranoia and ends up in Greece where his father comes to collect him and brings him home. Ezzy is slowly grounded to reality and he sees Talia again where they have a small wedding along the lakeside. And Ezzy after that lives mostly in content with his family. He is never able to "cure" his mental illness, but tries his best to manage it.

So I'd say about the first quarter of his life is the worst thing I've done to him. For now 😏

[valleynix]

i have plans with Lunatic >:3

(spoilers have been marked out of your convenience and sanity 🫶)

[ezzydean]

🎃 trick or treat ! 🦇

thank you so much for stopping by!!!!

TRICK OR TREAT!!!!

(send me trick or treat and i'll gift you something random, send me trick or treat and a character/fandom/ship and i'll write you a little thing)

[transtisms]

I've been reading a lot of essays, and working on collecting essay collections as books, because I want to write things like that. I have so many ideas and opinions on things but organizing them seems like an impossible and insurmountable feat. My thoughts move like white river rapids and trying to catch a single thought would result in my raft collapsing entirely. Sometimes they feel more like a big pulsing ball of twine, and trying to unravel one thought from another results in a tangled mess of knots and fraying threads. And then other times, they are just colors. Wordless and soundless and rushing through my mind at speeds that are not street legal, these thoughts are the ones I am the most desperate to share. They are also the most difficult to translate. These descriptions sound like figurative language, but when my thoughts feel this way I genuinely see them in my mind as I've described. They look like that inside my head. It looks like that inside my head. Sometimes it's so intense I can barely contain it, and the people around me begin to get translated into shapes and colors in my mind. A head turning into a bright blue triangle, an eye swirling into an orange sphere floating off of the face. Only in my mental visualizations, but it often feels like they are going to explode outwards and turn my loved ones into these abstract depictions in real life.

[ratsarearriving]

love it when i'm hyperfixating on my own characters because you'd think that'd make it easier to write but no all my brain wants to do is rotate these little gay people around in my head like rotisserie chickens. like bro please i'm trying to write a book here and its just like no fuck you no write only hyperfixate

[neglectedneuron]

i just realized im drinking coffee at 8pm with no plans to stay up. Its just that its so warm and cozy and i like to have it. so why only have it in the daytime if its so warm and cozy. and why would i have decaf what am i. a grandma

also caffeine doesn't seem to terribly affect my sleep schedule. nothing does really except poor willpower and my cellphone

[zickmonkey]

I fucked up the timeline a lil

[agoodcupoftea]

"We're not in any immediate danger. No one's going to die. You can take time off for yourself."

"But it's really not that bad... I've worked through much worse-"

"But you don't have to. Not any more."

(Bonus: threatens to call his boss if he doesn't cooperate)

[ezzydean]

This is how much I love you. Trick or Treat, Noya and Yams. And yes, I still hate you.

you know i don't even remember what the heck this was about. i vaguely remember something about yams and a joke about yams and Yams and look this is like from two and a half years ago.

so let us just imagine i wrote something worthy of the love and hate and your everlasting friendship yeah? yah.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯

mwah love you muchly. oaky?