#eyy i finally got around to writing this

[wonwoosthetic]

Hello, can you do something for Javier Pena? Like with a fellow DEA agent and partner, and he's soft for them (not that soft cause that'll not be him anymore, but he helps them more and follows them on missions a lot). and like he and murphy talks about how much his "ways" had changed after meeting and getting together with her, and yesh like fluff fluff and fluff makeout cause I loved that in that one joel fic

Rugged and Soft

warnings – mentions of drugs and police stuff, but this is so freaking fluffy, mentions of sexy times towards the end but nothing explicit

word count – 11.3k (istg this always happens)

a/n: aaaaaaaaahhhh thank you soooo much for requesting this!!! I LOVED writing this so much😫😫 istg I’m in love with him and I hope I did the character justice ˙��˙ you’re absolutely right, too soft wouldn’t be him anymore but I still think he'd just adore his partner so much, so they'd get to see a different side of him, so I hope you liked what I came up with🫶🏼

requests – open ˙ᵕ˙

Javier and Steve were enjoying their last drops of alcohol and final cigarettes for the night on the balcony while you were helping Connie in the kitchen. While the two men were engulfed in a serious conversation about the possible next steps in their plan, Javi's eyes were daring to get fixed on your silhouette any second.

The sudden crying coming from the baby girl the Murphys had recently taken in caught your attention.

"Ah, crap," Connie looked down at her hands covered in water and dish soap, "Could you-" She knew, she didn't even have to ask you twice, you loved that little girl. 

Without hesitating, you nodded, whispering a quick, "Yeah yeah, sure," and rushed out of the room to enter the bedroom where the crib for the baby was. Javier's gaze followed you as you exited, only coming back seconds later with the crying girl in your arms. He watched you gently bouncing up and down, trying to calm her down, petting her head with your delicate fingers as you swiftly moved around the room. 

He could've sworn there was a sudden weird sensation happening in his heart- no, his stomach- no, his brain? God knows where. Something was happening in his body, and he couldn't help it. It almost made him panic not knowing what the fuck was going on with him, but it was quickly interrupted by a slap to his chest by his colleague.

"Eyy," Steve chuckled, "I know that look."

"What?" The Latino scrunched his eyebrows.

The blonde man nodded towards the living room on the other side of the window, where you were now sitting down, the little girl on your lap as you tried to make her laugh.

"You're getting soft, Javi."

Peña scoffed, taking a drag from his cigarette, "You don't even know what the fuck you're talking about, Gringo." But that only made Steve laugh more.

"I know damn well what the fuck I'm talking about." Taking a sip from his beer bottle gave the two men a second of thick silence. "You know, she changed you."

"Maybe," Javier, in his typical way, spoke quietly, using that deep and rusty tone you had fallen in love with - he may have tried to brush off his co-worker's comment, but both men knew there was much more to it.

Because what Steve had said was true. Everyone knew that. At least everyone in the apartment at that time. 

At work, Javier Peña may still be that cold-blooded asshole, who may not have as many 'informants' as a few years ago but still continued using his charm as often as he needed to. He had changed, just no one there knew why. 

But here, in the comfort of the Murphys' place, he was just Javi. A rough man with edges that got softened down, thanks to you. A man who once was a famous womanizer and bachelor in Bogota, now turned devoted boyfriend and partner who kissed the floor you walked on.

That smug grin never left Murphy's face that was starting to annoy Peña. "Don't say maybe. You know, I'm right."

Javier put out the tobacco stick in the little bowl provided, "And even if you are, she probably just changed the worst parts of me that needed changing in the first place."

He received a nod in response. "Wouldn't fight you on that." With one last gulp, Steve finished his beer. "She definitely changed you for the better. I'm just hoping you're not getting too soft now." Making Javier scoff.

As soon as his eyes met yours through the window, he immediately was brought back to all the small moments that had turned him into the man that he was now. Because yes, Steve was right. You definitely did change him for the better.

-

Javier heard you before he saw you. He always did. Those familiar steps of the same shoes you had been wearing to work for the past few years had branded themselves into his brain.

You were making your way to the shared office space of you, Murphy, and Peña when your eyes fell on Javi's back that was turned to the entrance. The full head of brown thick locks you'd recognize from a mile away. 

His attention was fully on the board you had hung up on the wall, pictures of Escobar and his men plastered all around and red string tying in together every single piece of information you had. 

"Good morning," you waltzed up behind him, not expecting him to turn around as he seemed to be somewhere else with his head. That explained your surprise when he mumbled a quiet,

"Mornin'," back to you.

You stopped right next to him, your eyes travelling around the board. "What are you looking at?" You wondered before you caught a mug on his desk from the corner of your eye. With a smile, you walked up to it, picking it into your grip to take a sip - at this point, the three of you had started to make this a casualty.

As soon as the, what you expected to be, hot delicious beverage hit your tongue, you were quick to spit it back into the mug, a groan of disgust echoing through the room.

"Oh my God, what the fuck!" The back of your hand came up to wipe your mouth clean.

Javi turned his head to glance at you and as soon as he saw you holding the mug, he moved forwards to snatch it out of your hands.

"Why the fuck are you drinking that?" He snapped at you, putting it back on the desk.

You still looked at him in shock, "Why are you drinking that?!" A quick look at the clock made you scoff, "Javi, it's 9am."

But he just shrugged, his arms crossing in front of his chest again as he went back to look at the board. "Long night." 

Long night or not, you had never been a fan of Javier's very unhealthy drinking habits. You remembered even seeing him with a whiskey glass on the day you started working for the DEA in Bogota.

With a shake of your head, you moved to his desk, throwing yourself onto his chair before your hands were opening each drawer and cupboard.

Your hasty movements caught Peña's interest. "What are you doing?"

He didn't get an answer from you at first as you waited until you found what you were looking for. You were tired of his drinking at work. Outside of it, he could do whatever he wanted - he was an adult for God's sake. But here, in the DEA's office, at work, you didn't need to have his drunk ass as a co-worker. 

"Blue, what are you looking for?" He got closer to you, the nickname he and Muphy had given you in your first week dropping from his lips easily.

With a relieved sigh, you stood up again, holding up the bottle of whiskey with a proud smile, "Say goodbye to this."

"Hey-" he tried to lean forward, hoping to get a hold of the bottle, but you were quicker than him, moving past him, already on your way out the door of the office.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" He called after you.

You turned around with a smile, "Pouring this down the drain. You're welcome!"

With a sigh, he lowered his head, shaking it and pinching the bridge of his nose. 

At the same moment, Steve passed you, entering the small room with a frown, "What's she doing?" Directing his question towards Peña as he pointed at your disappearing figure.

"Giving me a fucking headache," Javier commented. His eyes found the mug on his desk again, another groan tumbling from his lips. Now he had to rely on that one cup for the rest of the day.

-

A soft chuckle almost escaped his lips at the memory. 

"She threw my fucking alcohol away." Javier took a sip of his beer. "Only a few months after coming to the office."

Steve grinned, "Thank God. You'd be taking your morning shit with a shot of coffee and five of whiskey if she hadn't done that."

The following day, he remembered as clearly as he possibly could - how could he forget: the day that he felt the world shift. All because of one little word.

-

You basically skipped into the office, three cups of coffee from the shop around the corner of your apartment in your hands. Steve and he were already sitting at their designated desks, watching you and your million-dollar smile as you waltzed into the room.

"Good morning, my dear friends," you beamed at the men, settling everything onto your place, putting down your bag and taking off the jean jacket you had put on.

Steve smiled at you, slightly confused, "What's gotten you in such a good mood?" Not that it was a rarity to see you with a grin decorating your face, but it happened more than any of you would like to admit that any man in that building would ruin your mood early in the morning before you could even make your way into your shared office.

"They're finally open again!" You called out, placing a coffee cup each onto their desks. Javier smiled up at you radiating the positive energy around the room, something he had had to get used to once you started working with them.

"Who?" Murphy continued the conversation.

"The coffee shop! By my apartment. Remember? They were renovating the place, but they're finally done, and I'm getting my daily cup of coffee again."

"You mean liquid sugar?" Javi commented, earning himself a glare from you, almost making him smile. He got up from his seat, the coffee in his hands when he took a sip, interested in what the hell you may have put into his.

"Ugh," he immediately groaned at the taste.

"What?" Your big eyes locked onto his. He couldn't tell you what he really thought of it. He wasn't going to break your heart after you had just almost jumped around the room as you told them about the shop re-opening.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Dry."

The sound of your soft chuckle rang through his ear. Had it always sounded so angelic?

"You mean the way you're supposed to drink coffee, honey?" You patted his cheek before turning around to leave the room, on your way to get some files you had been looking for, not knowing you were leaving Javier frozen in place. That was a new nickname. He was used to 'Javi', 'jackass', 'senior' or 'idiot', but 'honey'? That was new.

With confusion written across his face, he huffed out a chunk of air he apparently had been holding, while Steve's eyes were trained on him, an amused smirk playing on his lips.

"What the fuck just happened?" The Latino wondered out loud, not noticing that he was still standing up, still not moving, only entertaining Steve even more.

"What? You've never been called honey before?" He enjoyed teasing the man. It didn't matter in what context. Teasing Javier Peña was always fun, especially when you were involved.

Javi shrugged and shook his head, snapping back into reality. "Not by her."

And that made all the difference.

-

"I'm just saying." Murphy's voice made the other man realise they were still on the balcony and not in the past, even though he would've enjoyed dwelling in the memories a little more. "I see the way you look at her, and we don't need a soft boy in the DEA."

Javier scoffed, throwing his beer down his throat. "Says you, you blonde-haired, blue-eyed bitch."

"But I'm not getting soft."

"And neither am I!" He argued back, making Steve snicker. He knew Javier wasn't actually getting THAT soft, but it was fun riling him up.

The two men let a few moments of silence pass, listening to the mumbles of your and Connie's conversation inside the apartment and hearing the cars drive on the dimly lit streets.

"How long do you think you'll be able to hide it?" Oh, what a good question that was. Of course, Javi knew what his colleague was talking about because he had been wondering the exact same thing. Multiple evenings and nights were spent raking through his thoughts. Was what you were doing even a good idea? How long was this going to last? Was it worth it? 

He didn't even want to admit to some of the questions that had popped into his head as he felt like he shouldn't even be questioning this relationship. But since the two of you shared a workplace, it only seemed right. Right?... 

Two agents were in no way supposed to be romantically involved with each other. For one, it would most definitely be going against HR regulations, and two, you'd be putting yourself and your partner in so much more danger than you or they were already in from practising this job. But it was worth it. God, was it worth it.

Javier had been happier than ever before. Calmer than before - at least when you were around him. But as beautiful and wonderful as this little bubble was that the two of you had been sharing for a good year now, there were a lot of complications you hadn't had to face yet.

The Latino leaned back against the railing of the balcony, putting down the bottle of beer on the little table next to him before lighting up his next, and hopefully last, cigarette.

"Fuck... if I knew. Probably forever."

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Oh please, you know you won't be able to do that."

With the amount of scrunching of his eyebrows that Javi had been doing all his life, it wouldn't be surprising to see early wrinkles at his yet relatively young age. "The fuck you mean by that?"

"The amount of times you almost got caught? By literally just about anyone in the office beside me? Maybe I'm talking about that." As amusing as it was to Steve, he also understood the seriousness behind the topic. He just wanted the two of you to be safe, and alert of the people around you, because it started happening more and more that either one of you would forget how suspiciously protective you could get of each other - more specifically how protective Javier could get.

"We haven't gotten caught in the past and won't get caught in the future." He simply answered, tapping the ash off the cigarette.

The blonde man crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Maybe. But maybe they'll start looking more into some of your antics," but quickly raised them in defence as soon as he caught the glare on Javi's face. "Just trying to keep you two safe."

"Oh yeah? What antics?"

Steve shrugged parodically, "Oh, I don't know, what about two weeks ago?"

-

The three of you were sitting in Noonan's office, right across from her, all in slightly more formal clothing than you'd usually wear.

You had announced to your partners that you had a lead on one of Escobar's men and wanted to discuss your possible ideas with the female ambassador. Let's just say the talk had turned into a slightly more heated discussion than you had planned. 

"M'am, I understand your concern-"

"Well, I really don't think you do, Miss. Have I not made myself clear before?"

You nodded, continuing the conversation standing up, copying her, while the two men were sitting on each side of you, quietly listening to the two of you. "You have, Ambassador, but this is a real possible lead I have here."

"How do you know that? How do you know you can trust the information you receive?" No one was supposed to know about what you were doing to get your info. You weren't about to rat the other people out. Not to the ambassador, not to anyone.

"I have trustful sources-" A scoff coming from the older woman made you stop. "I-I just need your okay to continue-"

"And you won't get it."

"M'am-"

"Do you want a repetition of what happened in Mexico?!" The sudden raise of the woman made you shut your mouth. But not only that. Her words lingered around the room. A heavy statement. She knew she hit a weak point with that.

You lowered your head and crossed your arms as a defence mechanism while the men exchanged questioning looks.

'What happened?' Javier mouthed to Steve, but only got a headshake in return, so he directed the question to the ambassador.

"Ehm," he cleared his throat. "What... happened in Mexico? If you don't mind me asking, M'am."

The older woman leaned forward, her palms on the table and let her tongue swipe across her teeth.

She scoffed, "They don't know?" Clearly asking you.

After taking a deep breath, you shook your head, "They don't have to know."

The woman raised her voice slightly again, "They're not your co-workers, agent, they're your partners. They should, in fact, know about your lousy decisions in the past!"

"They weren't lousy!" Arguing with her felt like fighting with a parent, but currently, you were only getting scolded and barely listened to. Before she could interrupt you, you continued, now copying her tone, "My decisions were very well thought through! The problem was these stupid CIA agents that didn't know what they were doing, and it wasn't my fault that the Guadalajara were thousand steps ahead of us!"

"And what's gonna be different this time? How do you not know that Escobar isn't already ahead of you right now?"

"Because I have my informants-"

"You're starting to sound like Peña, careful," she warned you with a huff.

You took her change in attitude to take a deep breath, "You can't compare this to Mexico. What happened was completely differ-"

"Can somebody explain what the fuck happened back in Mexico?!" Steve interrupted your argument, losing his last amount of patience for which Javier was very thankful because he was just as curious and just as impatient.

Your eyes fell on the ambassador, but her hand was motioning towards you, not even batting an eye, not even interlocking glances with you. When you didn't respond, she looked at you, seeing your pleading expression, but she shook her head.

"It's not my story to tell."

You gulped. She was right. It was your story. But for another time. "I'll explain it later, this is more important right now."

"No, it's not because I'm not putting you anywhere close to one of Escobar's men."

A heavy chunk of breath fell from your lips as you looked around the room in frustration, ignoring Javier's glare and Steve's awaiting eyes.

"Then send Carrillo with me. You trust him. He can come with me," you proposed, about what the older woman seemed to think about for a second, but that was quickly interrupted by Javi's voice.

"I can go with her."

All three heads shot towards him.

"What?" You mumbled, the ambassador copying your confusion.

"What? No! Peña, don't get me wrong, but I would trust Carrillo more than you with her." As soon as those words left her mouth, you closed your eyes. She shouldn't have said that.

"Excuse me?!" Javier shot up from his seat in rage. The other man quickly followed him, ready to hold him back if anything was about to happen. "She's my partner! Not fucking Carrillo's!" You didn't ignore the possible two meanings behind the word 'partner'. There had always been a slight jealous side to your boyfriend, and unfortunately, you had found out that sometimes he had a slightly harder time containing it.

"Javi-" you tried, but he ignored you.

"I've been working with her for years, and you'd rather send someone from the Search Bloc with her?!"

The woman pointed a strict finger at him, "I suggest you watch your tone, agent." She warned him. "Carrillo has gone on undercover missions before. Successfully. So yes, I would much rather send him than you. Especially now after you just put on a show like that. What's gotten into you?" No one answered that question.

Javi huffed out in annoyance before turning to you, "You trust him more than me?"

That took you back. "W-...What does that have to do with anything?"

"Why did you suggest Carrillo instead of me?!" Now it was his time to raise his voice, earning him an eyebrow raise from the ambassador.

"Javi! It doesn't matter-"

"It fucking matters to me!"

"Guys-" Steve, who was standing behind you, tried to calm you down by placing his hands on your upper arms, but you brushed him off, continuing the fight with your partner.

"He has done things like this before, he'd be able to protect me if needed-"

"I'd be able to protect you if needed! Are you seriously questioning this now?!"

You opened your mouth again, but the loud voice of the older woman immediately shut you down and made you turn towards her.

"Both of you, stop it! Right now!" She took a deep breath. "What on earth is going on with you two?" Everyone stood quietly in front of her. She pointed at you, "Listen. I don't know what is going on in that brain of yours, nor do I understand your ways of picking these men apart psychologically. I understand and respect your devotion, but I won't be risking your life a second time." You opened your mouth, but she quickly motioned for you to be quiet. How fucking old did she think you were? But then again, you could only imagine that you looked like teenagers to her in this scene. "Now." She wiggled her finger between you and Javier. "You two. Clear up whatever the heck is going on between you two. I need you both with a clear head, not with... God, I don't even know. And you." Her eyes went to Steve, "Keep an eye on them. Seems like they're going through puberty again..." The ambassador mumbled the last part, only adding to her already disappointing, yet strict tone.

But you were not about to go down that quickly. "M'am-" you tried, but she had the upper hand once again.

"Out. I have a meeting in five." 

You were gently pushed back by Steve while Javi walked beside you quietly.

The last call out from Noonan stopped you. "And if I find out that you met up with Escobar's man behind my back, I will not hesitate to send you back to the US, just so we're clear." Loud and clear. You didn't respond, but just kept on walking, a clear tension following the three of you out of the room. There was a lot to discuss.

-

Javi shook his head at the memory, putting out his cigarette, "Don't fucking remind me of that." He hated the way he reacted. He hated the fact that it happened in front of Noonan. But most importantly, he hated that you had kept something so significant from him.

After you had gotten back into the office, the interrogation began. You had to spill everything that had happened back in Mexico - back before you joined the DEA in Colombia. And let's just say neither Javi nor Steve was happy after listening to your story of being held hostage by the Guadalajara only days before they killed Kiki as their first target was planned to be you.

He wanted to forget everything you had told them, but he couldn't. As if your job wasn't already dangerous enough as it is, you were actually willing to go the extra mile, risking letting the same thing happen for a second time?! Just thinking about it made his blood boil.

"But I have to remind you of that," Steve stated with a sigh. "Because Noonan asked me about the 'tension' between you two. And why you were so against Carrillo all of a sudden." 

"Fuck me..." Javi cursed under his breath, throwing his head back with a groan.

The blonde man scrunched his face in disgust, "Nah, thanks, I'll leave that to Blue." Getting a chuckle from the Latino, which made both of the men snicker together.

"It's not gonna be easy, you know?" Javier suddenly spoke, alerting Steve of his worries. He understood - of course, he did. But he had mentioned this to both of you from day one. He even remembered talking to Javi about that before you two were officially together.

He nodded in understanding, "I know. Just... try to keep it undercover. As best as possible. More like you did towards the beginning because you're starting to get more daring with the shit you're doing in the office. I wouldn't be surprised to find you fucking in one of the file rooms one day."

"Yeah yeah," the Latino brushed his friend off, his memory bringing him back to the older times. 'Like you did towards the beginning', but Javier had never been able to hold himself back completely.

-

Up the elevator, Javier walked into the hallway, on his way to the meeting you had planned with Colonel Wysession. The three of you were getting closer and closer to catching that bastard, you were sure, and now with some help, it just might be even quicker. Peña couldn't say he was looking forward to necessarily working closer with the Marine Corps, only ever trusting the division he was serving in, but he accepted what had to be done.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of familiar grunts. Too familiar grunts. Glancing to his right, he found the door to one of the file rooms slightly ajar. His hand reached out to push it further open, immediately coming to sight with a back he only know too well.

The corners of his lips curled up in amusement as he leaned against the frame, arms crossed, watching you trying to make yourself taller by standing on your tippy toes to reach for one of the boxes on the higher shelves. The entertaining scene didn't last for long though when you suddenly managed to somehow move it with your fingertips, making it tilt towards you. 

Javier reacted fast. His smile dropped, and with one big step forward, he was right behind you, his arms up as he caught the heavy box with his hands while yours flew up to cover your head with a gasp escaping your throat - for one, because of the weight almost landing on you, but for two because of the person coming into the room, catching you off guard.

"Jesus, careful, cariño." You recognised the rumble of a voice belonging to your... boyfriend? No, probably still too early to call it that. Fuck buddy? Nah, it was way more than that. Anyways, that's a discussion for another time.

"Sorry," you answered him, dodging your head and moving away from Javi, so he could lower the box and bring it to one of the tables by the wall. "Thanks," you patted his shoulder before removing the lid to find the multiple files you had been looking for.

"What do you need these for?" Your partner snatched one out for himself, opening it to take a quick look.

"Wysession asked me to get them. I don't know what exactly he thinks they could help with, but oh well," you explained, brushing off the dust that got caught on your clothes.

Javier scoffed with an eye-roll, "'Course he did."

You looked through some of the pieces of paper in silence before you felt a pair of eyes not leaving your form, making you look up. Your gaze interlocked with Javi's, but he just grinned at you.

You chuckled, "What?"

He shrugged, "Nothing. I just haven't seen you today yet."

You couldn't help the smile appearing on your lips, "Well," you closed the file you were holding, "You've seen me now."

With a smirk decorating his already unique features, he slid over to be closer to you, his fingers tracing one of the strands of your hair framing your face. "I have," he leaned forward just a tad bit more, his thumb holding your chin. You could feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second before he properly kissed you, making you smile into the kiss. For a moment everything was perfect. As soon as he leaned back again, freeing you from his touch, a pout appeared on your face, making him chuckle and glide his finger over your bottom lip. "You look beautiful today, Hermosa." Before you could say anything, he placed another soft, yet meaningful peck onto your lips, breaking it off again after only a few seconds.

"You're lucky there are no cameras in here," you commented, reading to pack everything together to leave the small room. Javier looked around, analysing the corners a tiny bit more.

"Maybe there are." Which got him a slap on his chest with the file you were still holding, making him chuckle and you shake your head. He turned around to the box, "Let's get these to Wysession." You couldn't even take his place as he swiftly picked up the box that would definitely be too heavy for you, along with the other one that was already on the table - you had managed to place one there as it had been kept at chest height, but you had still been out of breath after getting it out.

"Javi, s- I can carry them." Maybe it was true, maybe not, but you didn't want him to do the dirty work that had been assigned to you.

He walked past you, stopping and nudging his head to make you walk out of the room first. "I'm sure you can. But you shouldn't have to."

On your way to the meeting room, you had started talking quietly about what you could be doing that night, as your plans until then had only been to join Javi at his place, which was more than enough for him, but you were always up to do something more.

As soon as you entered the room though, the smiles on both of your faces fell once the Colonel opened his mouth.

"Peña," he started. "I don't remember asking you to get the files." 

Steve eyed the two of you suspiciously, wondering what exactly the two of you had been up to, praying it was only about getting what Wysession wanted. You took a seat beside him, sending him a quick grin to say 'Hi'.

Javier stayed by your side, the chair right next to you already behind him to sit down after snapping back at the older man. "Yeah, well you know, I just thought I'd be a nice co-worker and don't let a lady carry all of this shit."

Wysession smacked his lips, "And I think that if a woman's strong enough to be a DEA Agent, she should also be strong enough to carry a box of files."

Both of your partners noticed the deep breath you had taken, trying to hold yourself back, knowing that arguing with that man in power was only going to get you into trouble. Javi placed his comforting palm on your thigh under the table, giving it a soft squeeze, letting you know he got you.

"And if a man's confident enough to order a woman to do such thing, he should also be confident enough to do it himself. Don't you think?" He sent the Colonel a quick wink before the subject was changed in the room, and all focus was on the task at hand. Well, maybe all but yours because your mind was still holding onto the words Javi had let echo through the room.

As a small 'thank you', your hand found his that was still on your leg, your fingers wrapping around his rough ones. He got you.

-

"But it's good," Steve commented all of a sudden. Javi crossed his arms when a surprisingly cold wind passed by.

Yet another frown made its way onto his face. "What is?"

"That you got her," the blonde nodded towards the living room, where you had changed your seat to sit on the larger couch, you back now towards the two men. "I was sceptical at first, I'm not gonna lie-"

"I know you were," Javier remembered the talk Steve had with you and him just all too well. During dinner, whereas Connie had to sit next to him, beaming as she tried to control her big smile, just happy for you two and ready to engulf you in the biggest hug possible, squeezing you until you were begging her to stop - you had that kind of relationship - Steve was trying to stay as professional as possible, knowing how serious the situation would get if it got out that you were dating. He was just trying to help.

"But," the American defended himself, "I'm still glad you didn't listen to me when I first told you not to get too close to her. She's doing the world a favour." The confusion on Javi's face made him continue, "She's changing the one and only Javier Peña." He slapped his shoulder with a smirk as he passed his colleague, earning him a scoff in return.

The Latino had enough fresh air, and dwelling on the memories made him want to get back next to you as quickly as possible, so he joined his colleague on the way back inside. 

Connie was nowhere to be seen, probably in the bedroom, but you were still occupied with the baby on your lap, that seemed to be very close to falling asleep thanks to your fingers gently tracing the outline of her face. You were always so careful - not only with babies. Javier remembered the first time he ever saw you handling a gun. He wanted to shoot every person that gave you the okay to go out in the field with a hold as you had. The Latino had to teach you how to properly keep the gun in your hand, tightly enough to not let any idiot just smack it out of your grasp.

Even the way you would hold your pens at work, filling out whatever paperwork you had to do, was almost too gentle for Javi's liking. The first time he had met you, he wondered how somebody with a voice, so soft and sweet, could work in a surrounding like theirs. But you also had a hard side to yourself. It didn't show very often, but when it did... Lord help anyone that was around you.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you noticed Javi's body directed towards you and as soon as you looked up, your eyes locked. You sent him a welcoming smile, making him grin as he walked up to you, gazing down at the little girl in your lap. You had put your feet up, the soles resting on the cushion you were sitting on, to let the Murphys' surrogate daughter rest against your upper thighs.

He reached down to brush a hand over the top of your head, getting a soft moan from you as you tilted your head back to look up at him.

"Do you wanna finish my beer?" You whispered, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby.

Javi's eyes found the almost empty bottle on the coffee table.

"You don't want it anymore?" He wondered since that had been your only drink of the entire night, and you were usually able to drink more. You shook your head in answer, "'m too tired."

It was common for you to watch your drinking very carefully, always looking out for not drinking too much, but as Javier reached down to pick up the beer bottle, he remembered the one time you didn't. The only time until now when he had to step in. When he felt needed.

-

It hadn't been an easy day at the office - the exact opposite in fact. For Javier and Steve, the day was just too long, but for you, it had been exhausting. Physically and emotionally. Some CIA agents were visiting the embassy and thought it was very funny and entertaining for a woman like you to be a DEA agent, and they weren't holding back on commenting on it.

You had holden yourself back as well as you possibly could, but every person had a snapping point. And once you had reached yours, it earned you a warning from Noonan and getting excused from work early. Not knowing what to do with the extra time, and on the verge of letting tears of frustration go, you found yourself in a bar just five minutes away from your workplace. Alcohol was always an easy way to numb everything.

You had lost count after what you thought to be your fourth drink, but who fucking cared. I had a horrible day at work, I deserved this, you told yourself.

Your partners obviously noticed how on edge you had been throughout the entire day, and the glances and whispered comments from the other men weren't helping. They were planning on checking on you, but Steve had received a call from Connie, urging him to come home, leaving Javier to take care of his girlfriend. Once he arrived at your place and knocked on the door, an uncomfortable feeling spread in his stomach as you didn't open the door. He tried again and again, but after four minutes, he realised, you weren't even home. The agent tried to call you, only to get greeted by your voice message, making him sigh and shake his head. He thought and thought, trying to find a possible place you could be. With his car, he drove around the area, looking into parks and such, not really believing to find you there, but you never know. Most stores were already closed, so you couldn't be there either. The last possibility would be a bar - definitely not the first place he'd expect you to be, but not an impossibility. He stopped at every bar, taking quick glances inside and asking around before he finally arrived at the one closest to the embassy - he couldn't even explain the weight leaving his shoulders once he saw you hunched over the bar counter. If he didn't know better, he'd think you were asleep.

Strutting across the floor until he came to a halt to your right, taking a seat on one of the barstools, he could hear the slight mumbles and hums coming from you. Since you you had your head down, resting on your arm on the top of the counter, you hadn't realised who had shown up, only when you suddenly felt the warmth of a palm on the back of your head, you dared to look up.

"Javi?" You squinted, trying to find out whether your eyes were playing a trick on you or if the man was actually sitting next to you.

He smirked at your dishevelled hair, trying to brush it cleaner with his fingers, "Hey," he spoke quietly and thanks to only a few people in that bar sitting far away from you, you were able to hear him clearly. "What are you doing here, Hermosa?"

You straightened your back slightly. "I think I'm supposed to be asking you that," the words lulled out of you, showing him just how drunk you actually were.

"How much have you had to drink?"

Uncontrollably, you started turning on the barstool, moving from side to side by pushing against the counter. You shrugged, "Two... or three..."

"Drinks? Or shots?"

"Maybe four," you continued to sing, "Or... six? Idontknow..." the last part just stumbled from your lips.

Javier shook his head with a sigh, "Jesus... alright," he got up from his seat, his right hand reaching for the drink in front of you. "You don't need that anymore."

You immediately noticed his movement and tried to stop him, "Heyyy," you whined out. "I wanted to drink that."

"No you didn't, come on," he tried to get you off the stool, but you were barely helping him, much rather just gazing at him with a pout.

"B-... But you drink too when you're frustrated," you commented.

He got you to stand up on your feet, his right arm wrapping around your waist to steady you. "Yeah," he nodded, "But you don't wanna be like me."

"And what if I do?" Your fingers started tracing his chest, covered by that white short-sleeved button-up you have come to love so much.

"Trust me. You don't."

Somehow, he managed to get you into the passenger seat of his car, securing you with the seatbelt you tended to forget to put on sometimes, before rushing to the driver's side and getting the car to start. He knew he wouldn't want you to stay at home alone tonight, so he was already planning his overnight stay at your place: getting you out of the car again, out of your clothes, maybe, if you weren't too tired, under the shower real quick, knowing how much you hated going to bed unshowered, and then into some pyjamas and under the covers to let you sleep off whatever alcohol was left in your body - which was currently still too much, he could tell.

You had closed your eyes but weren't sleeping, listening to the engine of Javier's car when something came to your mind. You abruptly shot your eyes open, "My car!"

He nodded, "I'll go get it tomorrow, don't worry." His comforting hand found its usual way to your upper thigh, resting there until you put your hand on top of his.

A few moments of silence passed before a deep sigh fell from your lips, clearly laced with frustration. Stopping at a red light, Javi turned his head to look at your side profile, almost catching himself smiling as he took in the soft glow of red elevating your features. God... what were you doing to him. His thumb started rubbing gently up and down your thigh.

"I hate men," you suddenly blurred out.

He couldn't help but to chuckle, taking your hand with his to change gear and continue the journey home. "I know, amor, I know."

"Not you, though," you quickly added, resting your head back, but turning it to look at him, "Not you."

"I know," he smiled, taking a quick glance at you and patting your leg. 

"And Steve," you continued, only making him shake his head with a smirk, "I could never hate Steve. Or you. But everyone else... no. I hate them," you continued to lull out every word, not sobering up in the slightest with every added statement. "I hate Escobar. You know, how much I hate Escobar?"

"I can imagine, sweetheart," he commented, earning him a moan of disgust from you. "What?" Javi looked at you in concern as you shook your head.

"Don't call me sweetheart. It makes me sound like an old married woman."

He chuckled, "In Texas, it's very common to call people that are close to you that."

"Still," you fought back, starting to play with his fingers in your lap, "Use your Spanish words you always call me."

"You like the Spanish names more?" To which you nodded, not even trying to hide the big grin on your lips. "Alright, muñeca."

"Muñeca?" You smiled, "What does that mean?"

"You're half Latina, you should know that," he teased, pulling into the driveway of your apartment complex.

You opened your mouth, "Oh yeah... I should know that..." Dazed in your thoughts, you didn't notice the snicker from Javier as he exited the car to get you from your side.

-

A chuckle almost tumbled from his lips at the memory, thinking back to how hard it was to get you to change into more comfortable clothing and into bed because as soon as he had put you onto the mattress, a sudden rush of energy rushed through your body. What a night...

"You wanna go home?" He wondered, lowering himself slowly onto the sofa down next to you, careful to not disturb the baby that was daringly close to falling asleep.

A yawn was his answer, but a nod from you also followed. "Yeah," you patted his thigh gently. "I'm just gonna take Olivia to Connie."

"Olivia?" Javier asked you, his eyes following your fingers that were still drawing along the sides of the baby's face.

You nodded, "Connie said she's been thinking of naming her that. I think it fits. A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl." The sudden soft smile that appeared on the baby's face made you copy the expression, beaming at your lap. "Oh my god," you gasped, making the man next to you chuckle. "Do you think she understood me?"

"I doubt that, muñeca." His arm had found its way to lie comfortably behind you, his thumb rubbing your shoulder.

You shrugged, "Who knows, maybe they do understand us, but just can't communicate." As soon as the infant opened her eyes, you smiled brightly at her. "Right, sweet girl? You know how beautiful you are." Tapping her nose to make her grin.

At the exact same moment, a sudden flash blinded you and your boyfriend, and the baby apparently too as her cries rang through your ears. Looking up, you caught Steve standing in front of you, a polaroid camera in his hands, smirking proudly at you and your partner.

"Steve!" You called out, shaking your head along as you tried to soothe her again, "Well done, dad."

"Fucking idiot," Javier cursed out as you got up to bounce the baby up and down, hoping to calm her down.

"Javi!" You hissed at him, shielding the small ear closer to him. "Not in front of the kid!"

"Cariño, she can't understand us."

"You don't know that." Were your last words before you left the room to join the other woman in the bedroom, handing her her surrogate daughter back. That left Javier and Steve yet alone again.

"Great job," the Latino sarcastically complimented the other agent, who was grinning at his hands.

"So worth it though."

"What? Making your kid cry?" Javi scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, until Steve lifted up the polaroid picture he had taken, showing it to his partner. It was perfect. Javier and you sitting comfortably on the couch, looking down at your lap where you had held the little girl. Both smiling. Both happy. He didn't notice you leaning into the arm he had draped over you, but it was clear to see in the picture.

Peña cleared his throat as he stood up, brushing his hands over his jeans. "Keep it." But Steve shook his head.

"Nah man, that's for you two."

Javier pushed back his outstretched hand, "It's fine."

Before the blonde man could start an argument, you came back into the living room, your eyes immediately on the two. It didn't take you long to see what Steve was holding.

"Oh my god!" You smiled with bright eyes, jogging over to your partner, and snatching the picture into your own hands. "It's so cute. Look!" You showed it to your boyfriend even though you knew he had already seen it. He shook his head, but Murphy was quicker than him.

"Keep it," he told you. "One of the only pictures I've ever seen where Javi actually looks decent."

"Hey!" You hit his upper arm with the polaroid before looking down at it again with a grin that was so wide, Javier could've sworn it almost reached your ears. "But thanks," with a shy smile and a nod, you thanked your co-worker, who copied your actions. "I just said goodbye to Connie by the way," you directed your statement to the man next to you.

"You're going already?" The blonde American wondered, walking back into the kitchen to place the Polaroid camera on the countertop.

You nodded, "Looking after your kid tires you out. But you wouldn't know that." With the sarcastic smile you sent him, you disappeared into the hallway. The two men followed you quietly.

Javier took your jacket off the hook first, waiting for you to turn your back to him so he could help you slide in. Steve leaned against the frame of the walkthrough, eyeing the couple smugly.

"Well, at least I now know who not to call when we need someone to look after her," he teased you, knowing it would offend you since you had a reputation for being good with kids.

"How dare you," you gasped, pointing a finger at him, which made him laugh out loud. Javi shook his head and placed his hands on your shoulders to turn you towards the door, ready for the night to finally come to an end. He pushed you forward until you had no choice but to push down the door handle and open the front door of their apartment.

You turned around, "See ya tomorrow!" Calling out to your other partner.

Javier did the same, adding a, "Say good night to Connie and Olivia for me." Getting a confused look at the mention of a 'Olivia' in return.

-

You spent the car ride to your boyfriend's place comfortably reminiscing about the evening, asking him about what Steve and he had talked about on the balcony, but only receiving 'nothing important, just small talk back. He had asked you about your conversations with Connie in return, wondering what you had discussed. What he didn't expect was to hear all of the gossip from your co-worker's wife's work, having to remember names he had never heard of before, which suddenly seemed very important. But he enjoyed it. He could've listened to you for many more hours but had tired yourself out from talking, immediately shutting quiet as soon as you had arrived.

Javier didn't waste a second before he took off his clothing, immediately heading for the bathroom to take a shower and call it a night. You followed him, brushing your teeth while he was washing his body, and switching positions as soon as he was done. He put on a pair of thin pyjama pants you got him, that he usually only put on out of courtesy since you both knew they'd come off during the night eventually - either because of you or simply because that man gets too hot for his own good while sleeping. You had thrown on your pyjama set, consisting of satin shorts along with a matching strappy top and went back to the bedroom, where your boyfriend was already waiting, having thrown himself onto the mattress, his feet still on the ground by the side of the bed.

"Is someone tired?" You teased him, walking up to him to lean down and brush some of his hair away from his forehead.

He huffed out a big chunk of air. "Sometimes Steve talks even more than you."

"Hey, you've never complained about me talking."

"No, but about Steve's." His eyes fluttered open at the sound of your giggles, filling his stomach and heart. Your fingers continued playing with his hair when a thought popped into your head.

"Where's your wallet?" Letting your eyes travel across the room to see if you could catch sight of the leather object.

"Why?" His hand found yours, holding onto it as he pushed himself up to sit with his other one. Javi gently dragged you in closer to stand in between his legs that he had parted to make room for you. Instead of answering him, you just showed him your open palm, sending him a quick smile along with it.

He nudged his head towards his nightstand, where the purse had been placed on. You reached out to grab it. His gaze was fixed on you and your hands as you opened it, placing the object you had been holding into one of the compartments.

"Here!" You showed him your masterpiece. You had put the picture Steve took of you two into the see-through slit in his wallet, and you seemed to be very proud of it. Javier couldn't help the chuckle coming from him. He got the purse back into his grasp.

"Gracias, corazón."

"You're welcome," you smiled back at him, intertwining your fingers with each other behind his neck as he threw the wallet back to where it had been before his hands rested on one of their favourite spots - your hips. Brushing them up and down your sides, he gazed up at you, who was already looking down at him.

"Have you been frowning a lot lately?" Your sudden question took him by surprise, making him unknowingly scrunch his eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"Like now!" You giggled, running your right thumb between his brows to decrease the tension. "Don't do that. You'll get wrinkles."

Javier lips slightly curled at your concern. "I think those come with age, mi amor. But you wouldn't know that." Adding the little comment you teased Steve with, hiding it in a compliment and making you grin.

"Come one," he motioned for you to get on the bed while he lifted the covers, so you both could get comfortable underneath them. You scootched in closer, so your faces were only a few inches apart.

"Aren't you tired?" You wondered, feeling his arm wrap tighter around you to pull you in even tighter and place a sweet kiss on your lips. You let your fingers brush through the locks at the back of his head, getting him to close his eyes and sigh. The tension was leaving his entire body just with those simple touches of yours. The magic hold you had on him made you grin. You loved having this effect on him. You knew you had it. It was in intimate moments like this that Javier would let himself completely relax underneath you. And that happened multiple times. Whether it was thanks to your voice, your touch, or simply your being. You relaxed him. 

The two of you shared a few moments in silence, in which you had moved closer to him, he now on his back, your cheek resting against his shoulder, his hand brushing up and down your sides and back while your fingers were resting on his chest. But there was one question playing on the tip of your tongue that you just couldn't hold back anymore.

"What do you think of Olivia?" His movements on your body stopped for a second, almost making you gulp, but he played his surprise off and continued rubbing your back.

"I think... she's... a baby?" Making it sound like a question. A snicker fell from your lips, and you teasingly nudged his hips with yours.

"Nooo, that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean, hermosa?"

You sat up straighter, pushing yourself off his shoulder to look at him, his hand still on your back.

"Just," you shrugged, "In general. What do you think... of her... as a baby, I guess." 

Javier noticed the slight shyness in your eyes when you let your gaze wander around, not really interlocking with his. He smirked at the realisation,

"Are you asking me how I feel about kids? Like having kids?"

You quickly looked at him, "No. No, I wouldn't do that. I know you." His confused look made you continue. "I know who you are." Suddenly, your voice became much quieter than before.

"And who am I?" He copied your tone, turning this conversation much more sensual than you had planned for it to be. You didn't miss his hand travelling lower down your body, brushing over the curve of your ass, down to your leg to throw one over his.

"Javier Peña," you simply answered him.

He nodded, "That's my name."

The unamused facial expression of yours would've made him laugh if he didn't find the situation more serious than he would've liked to admit. Something about this felt important. Very important.

"You know what I mean," you tilted your head, avoiding his gaze by tracing his collarbones with your finger, your eyes following it.

"I'm afraid I don't, mi amor." The nickname still made you tingle. From the moment he first used it up until that moment - the feeling continued to be the same. You felt loved. You felt wanted. You felt needed.

You let out a soft sigh, looking down before back up again. "I don't know... you're just... Javier Peña. The cold-blooded DEA agent-"

"Is that all you think of me?"

"No," you quickly added, "Of course not. That's just who you are to other people. To me, you're... I don't know... nice?"

"Nice?" He chuckled, making you do the same as you hid your face in his neck. You could already tell this question was a mistake, but you continued, distancing yourself from him, placing your palm on his chest

"What do you want me to say? You're so sweet and bubbly?" You both laughed in synch, his arms wrapping just a little tighter around you. "You're not, Javi! You're rough but soft around-"

"I swear to God if someone calls me soft one more time-"

"Who called you soft?"

"Fucking Steve." You laughed out loud at his confession. Your hands cradled his face, placing a few pecks on his cheek until you reached his lips.

"Aww, my sweetie is getting soft." This earned you a pinch to your thigh, making you jolt up and chuckle even more.

"That's what you get for saying shit like that," he commented with a subtle smile, catching your lips with a kiss, almost making you moan by the force of it.

You patted the side of his face gently. "No, no, don't worry. That just wouldn't be you anymore. I'd hate that."

The man smirked, "So you admit that you like it rough?"

"Javi!" You smacked his chest, but he caught your hand and pulled you in for another kiss.

"Just admit it, cariño," he mumbled against your lips.

"Never, Peña," you giggled.

He stole a couple more kisses before releasing you. "Alright, then back to your question." His hands rested on the side of your legs while your finger traced invisible lines on his chest.

"Nooo, please. Let's just forget I ever asked."

"You want me to forget you asking me if I want kids?"

You gasped, "That was not my question!" But he just continued to look at you. A few seconds passed, and no one said anything. Until you broke the silence, finding it slowly become unbearable where you left off. "But-"

"There we go," he proudly smirked. You shook your head with a smile.

"If I was hypothetically asking. Your hypothetical answer would be...?"

"Why are you worrying so much about that all of a sudden? Hypothetically speaking." He seemed genuinely interested in hearing your answer to his question.

You shrugged and thought for a while before dropping your hand down, finding his fingers to play with now. "You didn't even think twice about it when you found Olivia. It seemed so obvious to you that Steve would take her." Ah, there it was.

Javier took a deep breath. "Yeah... I guess so." His eyes focused on your intertwined fingers for a split second before looking up again. "For one, because he and Connie have been married for quite a while, so, you know, it seemed fitting. And second, because... well... I'm not exactly a-"

"Family person." You answered for him with a nod.

"Right," he sighed, looking up at the ceiling, not at you, almost in shame. You could hear another heavy breath escaping his lips. "But you are." And his eyes were back on you again. Regret and fear. Maybe even uncertainty. That's what they showed. You were sure of it.

"I guess," you shrugged.

"You're great with kids. Of course, you are," he assured you. By now you knew that if there was one person that knew you better than anyone else, it would be Javi. The multiple nights you spent venting your problems onto him - past, present and future possible problems. Even before you shared a bed. That's how you bonded. Shared fears from the past. Regrets you didn't want to go through again. He knew you like the back of his hand. You weren't yet sure if you could say the same thing about him.

"Yeah..." you placed his hands in front of you, looking down. Hands that have killed. But also hands that have brought you love and pleasure. And oh, the many more things those hands could do. "But you're not."

Javier didn't nod or shake his head. He just kept his gaze on you. He didn't know what to say or how to react. Was it too early to have this conversation? The two of you were close to sharing your second anniversary together, so he guessed the time had to come at some point... right? He had admitted his love for you a long time ago, he could admit this too.

"What do you want?"

His question made you look up, "Hm?" You wondered, slightly confused by what he had meant.

"In the future. What do you want? And be honest," he squeezed your hands assuringly.

You gulped. "I think that changed when I came to Colombia, you know?"

"Then before that. Before you knew about all this shit here. What was the future you dreamed of?"

You let the question linger in the air for a second before you opened your mouth with a smile. "I really wanted to be a mom. I always thought I'd become a young mom, to be honest. But then I found my way into law enforcement and I knew I couldn't have both... But I think I'd still want that. I really loved my mom growing up. She did a great job raising me and my siblings, so I definitely know I'd have someone to look up to in that sense." He continued listening to you attentively, his hands moving along your skin gently. "I want a house. A white house preferably. With a big garden. Maybe even a farm or something. Animals. Especially cats. Maybe a dog... I don't know... I'd decide on that when the time comes. But... yeah... kinda do want kids." Javi didn't miss the change of tense when you spoke about wanting to become a mother.

"Alright," he nodded, placing his hand on your cheek to pull you in for a kiss. You moved your lips along with his, fitting perfectly like usual. You separated yourself from him, your hand back on his chest.

"That's all you have to say?" You chuckled a bit at his response.

Javier's hand came to your neck, his fingers tracing your skin. "Yeah." He nodded, definitely not understanding what you had meant.

"So, I'll just say whatever, and you go along with it?" You smiled at your partner, slightly amused by his opinion on the subject, yet not fully believing it.

He shrugged, "If you want a family with a house and pets, who am I to deny you of that?"

"But that's not how it works. That's not how a relationship works."

"And how does a relationship work, mi amor?" He wondered, pushing himself up to put you underneath his body, holding himself up with his arms on either side of you.

"You're supposed to say what you think of something, and then I say what I think of it, and we'll try to find a middle ground and settle on that," you explained, knowing you had his full attention.

"And what would the middle ground on this be? No kids, kids, only one. There is no middle ground here." You didn't really think about that. He was right. But who would be the person to give in now? Even if you hadn't decided that yet, Javier had already made his decision a while ago. "If you want that. I'm gonna make sure that you'll get it."

You shook your head, your fingers finding the brown locks by his neck. "But that's not you."

"Says who?"

"You-"

"I never said that," he argued. "I never said I didn't want a future like Steve's." His statement surprised you. And he couldn't lie, it was hard for him to admit. Javier wasn't used to showing this side of himself. But if anyone got to see him like that, it was you. "It's definitely not made for me, that's for sure. And I don't really think that it's very smart to have small kids running around in a country like this while you're hunting down drug lords and whatnot every day. But just because I didn't think that life was for me, doesn't mean that can't change."

His words let the shiver move from your head down to your toes, filling your stomach with butterflies and your heart with desire. You never expected to hear words even similar to these from Javier. To be fair, there hadn't been many times where you thought of having a potential future with kids with your boyfriend - it always seemed so clear to you that as soon as you gave yourself to him, you had to let that dream go for good. But here you were, underneath the man you had come to love, gazing into his big brown eyes while he poured out his entire heart to you. You knew he meant every word. Every single one. And maybe it was still a little too soon to truly think about this subject intensively (or maybe not), but God, you'd be lying if you said your want and need for him didn't grow even bigger than you could've ever imagined.

You nodded up to him, biting down on your lips to hide the smile that would've been way too bright for this moment. "Okay." You whispered, pulling him down to you to let him know that maybe you had now just given him a simple and short answer, but Lord, you meant it.

Javier grinned at you, "Okay."

You weren't going to get to work on it right away. But maybe one day. Maybe one day this conversation would repeat itself and right afterwards you'd find yourself moaning his name out into the world as he made sure that you got what you had always dreamed of.

That wasn't the Javier Peña everyone else knew, but it was the Javi that you knew and loved. Just the right amount of rugged and soft to make sure you knew you were loved in every way possible, but also protected and safe. 

He smirked down as he noticed your need to pull him closer. Once again, your lips met, making you melt right into the sheets underneath you and moan into his lips when you felt his hand riding up your torso underneath your silk shirt.

"Now, what was that about you not liking rough?"

"Javi," you scolded him with a chuckle as you felt a rush of heat rush up to your cheeks, but definitely also through your body. His hot breath tickled your neck as you started working his lips against your skin, making you sigh heavily.

"I think I'm gonna have to prove you wrong on that, muñeca," he whispered against your ear, making a grin when you pulled him back to face you, not even giving me a second to think before smashing your lips against his.

Javi didn't mention the sensation that filled his body back at the Muphy's place when his eyes found you with that little girl. He'd let you know about that once the time was right.

pedro taglist: @leslieelainetrask

[yuwumeniji]

Eyy Yuwu!!!!🍌 Thanks for your great writings! Could I request headcanons about Luxiem when they're drunk? Such as, who would be the affectionate, melancholic, can handle the drink(s) well, or the confesser of truths? Thanks <3

Luxiem as Drunkards

WARNING: Please remember that I am writing about Luxiem based on their characters online and not of the people behind their vtuber avatars, thank you!

EXTRA NOTES: i am not counting the drunk streams each boy did LMAO

GENERAL

Again, not counting their drunk streams (ok kinda, but i didn't watch them fully)

maybe kinda nsfw in the sense that there is h*nd h*ld*ng (flushge)

in my 19 years of living i never drank alcohol so......... soooo.......................... lmao

proofreader? hardly even know 'er!

MORE BELOW THE CUT

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

IKE EVELAND

a talkative and somewhat flirty drunk ; a lightweight(?)

he drinks often, especially after submitting the final draft of his manuscript as a celebration of "boy-did-i-procrastinate-on-this-thing-but-it-turned-out-great!"

he usually drinks with caution but tonight's manuscript was a big one - he deserves it

THE GAP MOE????

like he's flying off tables, he's dancing like a madman and oh my god get down from there PLEASE

he also goes around flirting with everything that breathes

like "hey baby do you want to get a drink together ;)"

but then he starts talking about how much he hates his shitty editors and how his next manuscript is

he then goes on rants about nonsensical things to how there's a rock in his left heel, how lukewarm the glass is and how come you have such a pretty face???

please take him home before he talks you ear off

LUCA KANESHIRO

the man of sex ; somewhat heavyweight(?)

for a mafia boss, drinking is second nature, especially with the people he's been meeting - however, he's in such a good mood tonight that he got a little reckless

picture; a secluded bar with just you, him and the bar staff - it's the perfect noire setting

if you think ike is flirty when drunk, wait til you meet drunk!luca

he's slinging out pickup lines left and right

but they're not like "aha are you a photographer? because i could picture you and i together ;)"

THEYRE THE ADULT ONES (eyes emoji)

he's also quite handsy, grabbing at others left and right and resting his face in the crook of your neck as you guys sit on a couch or something

actually he's the kind to rub his face in your shoulder like a big cat, it's kinda cute (?)

he does whine a little and gets a bit pouty if you try to push away

if anyone from the mafia family saw this, i wonder what the outcome would be?

MYSTA RIAS

a big baby drunkard who cries over the tiniest things ; the lightest lightweight out of the boys

he goes out drinking whenever cases don't go his way - the trial was a bummer, the criminal got loose and did he have to redo the case from square one because a variable was missing??

so pretty often

lets face it, despite his silliness, he tends to keep up a stoic face in front of everyone so the minute he winds down and has a swig of beer, he's already bawling his eyes out

"BUT WHAT IF THAT CASE I SOLVED WAS WRONG??" "WHY ME??" "WHY IS THE PANEL ON THE WALL A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT SHADE OF BROWN IN COMPARISION TO THE REST UEUEUE"

actually, please never give him alcohol because he'll start crying to the point you wonder if he's got enough water in his body for that

SHU YAMINO

a very sleepy drunk ; world time heavyweight champion (it is difficult to get him drunk, also he's the most responsible out of them - he's actually a lightweight too)

shu doesn't drink. well, doesn't drink often BUT he does if he's out for social circumstances, so he was always cautious of his alcohol intake.

tonight was a little different! just a celebration between the two of you and it's at home anyways, so what's the issue here? well, many things

for starters, you would never have thought that he would start babbling nonsensical things - usually, he approaches every situation with logic, so the fact he starts talking about unicorns and whatnot is a big sign that "oh boy, he's drunk"

secondly, he could barely keep a conversation - he starts dozing off in between words and only hiccuping or accidentally banging his head on the table (because his head slipped from his hand) would wake him up

oh yeah did i mention he has a bad case of the hiccups

VOX AKUMA

also another baby ; a ...h...heavyweight??

vox is another social drinker who usually watches what he drinks - i mean, you wouldn't want to slip up to others that you were actually alive for 500+ years or whatever, right?

tonight, he decided to let loose a little y'know, feelin a little vulnerable rn

ok when i say baby, i meant like literally a baby

he's crying, he's whining and "y/nnnn~~~ uppies!!!"

but he also drinks whenever he gets down in the dumps... like REALLY down in the dumps

he's the kind of baby drunkard who would sob as he tells everything and everyone who would listen his whole life story

i dont expect you to lift a grown demon, but i'll give you props if you do i guess??

[bitchsister]

soooo I need luckycharms!AU Bucky and Curt on vacation somewhere.. slutty. your choice. john wants to show his boy from the bronx the world. maybe rome? like in EYY but this time they get to truly experience and enjoy it without the fear of doom & war & death ?!!? ya kno

Ohhhh you know I love a good Italy trip lmaooo. Cattonquick in Liguria was my favorite thing to write. Now I get to write Bucky and Curt being sluts? I’m so lucky. Ripping the nude beach idea right out of my Cattonquick fic and putting a Curtbucky twist on it.

Andiamo!

This request got pregnant with this other one ⬆️ it felt right so we went with it!!

HONORABLE MENTION;

Don’t read if you aren’t down with these: More vibrating butt plug, nude beach filth, ‘daddy’ is used twice, spanking, very very very very light dom/sub vibes if you squint but hardly, Curt is a cunt, abundant use of pet names

All it took was a few planted magazines on the coffee table for Bucky to quickly realize where Curt had wanted to visit, and the places he absolutely did not.

“Paris would be so fun, don’tcha think?” His legs were stretched over Bucky’s thighs who had been intently eyeing the score of the Brewers versus the Reds, dramatically huffing and puffing as the score continued not to work out in his home teams favor.

“Yeah, baby.” Bucky nodded, acting as though he was hardly listening but he was instead taking permanent mental notes. Paris is added to the possible itinerary, as is Aspen, Madeira, Lagos and Porto.

Then came ramblings of Barcelona, ripe springtime strawberries held between Curt’s lips as he flipped through pages filled with beautiful images of Casa Batlló, La Sagrada Famila, and the Picasso museum. “Look.” He turned the magazine around, pointing to the water. “Look how blue the water is, Ducky. We ain’t ever gonna see that here, huh? Closest we got is Coney Island.” He chuckled, again oblivious to Bucky’s mental note taking, the itinerary growing longer and longer with each new travel magazine Bucky hid around the house.

“Why do you got all these, anyway?” Curt grabbed the latest addition, a travel guide of Italy. “You got like thirty of the things.”

“I get ‘em for free at the office.” Bucky lied, and felt bad about it. “Guess Harding never cancelled the subscription when he was cruise shopping. I snag ‘em before he can realize they were even delivered.”

Curt hummed and nodded his head, puffing at the joint between his lips, all sprawled out over the cushioned window bench like a sunbathing feline. “I’d do anything to go to Italy.” He whispered, and alarms went off in Bucky’s head.

Bingo, bing, bingo.

Ding, ding, ding!

“My Nonna tells me stories about growin’ up in Bologna.” He hung upside down, the magazine held over his face as he multitasked like never before. A couple puffs, a flick of the page, ashing his joint, running his gorgeous mouth. “Oh, look!” He scrambled to his knees and sat upright again to turn the magazine around like it was his turn for show and tell. “Pompeii!” He flipped the page, his excitement growing. “Look! Tits! Dicks! Ass!” He pointed to all of it, the page covering the top rated nude beach in the country, Guvano.

And so, when Curt went back to his campus dorm room for a few days to hunker down and study for finals before summer break, Bucky did his own studying on hotels, which quickly had been switched to villas, vineyards, tours, beaches, restaurants, you fucking name it.

He had eventually enlisted the help of a concierge, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. He didn’t speak Italian and he wanted to know what was really worth seeing, according to the locals.

Come Friday evening, Curt looked and felt like he’d been beaten with two cinder blocks, trudging into Bucky’s stretch of hallway once he stepped inside.

He barely had any energy left to announce his arrival, quiet footsteps wandering into the kitchen where Bucky stood with his hip jutted, his phone an inch away from his face and a wine glass in the other as he read closely each step of the recipe he’d chosen to make for dinner.

Cacio e Pepe and scottadito. Earlier, he prepped for the perfect Caesar salad, ready to eat since he knew Curt would be starved to death after his finals.

“Hey.” A voice squeaked after the source had snapped an incognito photo on his phone of that version of Bucky — quiet, contemplative, focused.

“Jesus.” Bucky dropped his phone onto the counter. “Baby, you gotta make some noise or somethin’. I’ll have a heart attack.”

Curt huffed a laugh through his nostrils and shuffled the floors toward him to wrap himself around Bucky, his eyes closed as he rested his head against the mans chest. “Oh,” Bucky cooed, rubbing circles into Curt’s back once he’d sat down the glass of wine he’d become rather familiar with in the last hour or so. “How’d it go?”

“My brain.” Curt groaned, pressing his face into Bucky’s chest. “It hurts.”

Curt, as Bucky had quickly realized, was a goddamn genius and he knew just how to work it. Never to speak out of turn, always raw and honest and never pretending to be something he isn’t, that thick New York accent poking through even the most intelligent sentences Bucky had ever heard in his life.

Listen to this, listen to this. Alright. Here we go.

Curt stood in front of Bucky, reading part of his final presentation project as practice with one of Bucky’s sweaters hanging to his mid thigh and another joint rolled with pink papers between his teeth.

The potential of shape memory alloys in morphin’ wing technology with adaptive geometries that adjust in real-time could greatly optimize performance across various flight conditions.

Curt took another puff, his eyes locked on Bucky instead of the paper in his hand. He’d memorized it all and knew it by heart. After all, it was a touchy subject he felt passionate about.

Furthermore, research shows that this could increase fuel efficiency, reduce emissions, and could have a hand in improvin’ maneuverability.

Bucky was speechless, his jaw slack, hearts spilling out of his eyes and onto the floor. He was no help really, because every goddamn thing Curtis did was absolute perfection.

“Feed it.” Bucky held Curt to his chest with one hand while the other grabbed a plate, built an excellent Caesar, and offered it in front of a barstool at the island in the middle of the kitchen where half of it was still occupied by Bucky’s iPad, his knives, his cutting board and all of his oils and seasonings.

“You’re a real homemaker, you know, Egan.” Curt reluctantly detached himself from Bucky and plopped into the stool, stabbing forkfuls of lettuce and shoving it in his mouth while Bucky poured him a glass of some orange-ish hipster rosé, because the red shit gave him headaches and made him feel sleepy.

Good taste, Bucky would say.

You’re a natural at spending money.

“Yeah?” Bucky leaned against the island, pressing sweet kisses to Curt’s face despite the way he was feverishly shoving salad into it. “You gonna have me all kept at home while you make the dough, hm?” he was teasing, but knew once Curt got his foot in the door at a job after graduation, he’d be making his own natural hipster wine budget.

Big time.

“You think I will?” Curt murmured through a full mouth, booping noses with Bucky who nodded.

“Obviously, baby. No other choice, I fear.” Bucky watched intently as Curt sipped his wine, giggled, blushed, rolled his eyes. “How you feelin’ about the final?”

“Dunno.” Curt shrugged, watching Bucky continue on his prep for dinner and dessert. “I did good on the presentation part. It’s the fuckin’ multiple choice that I get so fucked up on. I’m indecisive! The shit’s outdated — how long they been makin’ us poor brain dead fucks fill in some bubbles, ya know?” He gulped more wine from his glass, “Like, since the dawn of time, I bet. And ain’t that shitty? You’d think they would—“

A red envelope was plopped in front of him, sealed with wax.

“What’s this?”

Bucky shrugged, sipping his glass of wine nonchalantly. “Dunno. Found it. Think it might be yours.”

Curt gave him a look of confusion, shaded with hints of brattiness and sass.

Bucky could eat him up.

His fingers deftly peeled the envelope open, his eyes taking in the words that he could hardly comprehend. “Italy?” He whispered, his heart sinking to his gut. “You’re kiddin’, Bucky..”

“I was going to wait until we got your score back from the final. But I know you’ll pass and I just couldn’t wait.” Bucky braced himself for Curt’s suddenly energized squealing and jumping and screaming and hooting and kissing and licking and all of it.

So. There they were, beach Guvano, the very same one in the magazine Curt had brought with him to compare and contrast magazines versus real life — so far, not a single thing had disappointed him.

“How’s it look?” Bucky asked from beside Curt, sprawled out on their beach blanket as he shoved sweet grapes into his cheeks.

“Less people here than in the pictures.” Curt had stripped down, of course, as he typically found any reason at all not to wear clothes at any time, no matter the location. “But I like that. ‘Cause some of these people in here shouldn’t be seen with clothes on.”

Bucky swatted his thigh, a dumb grin tugging his lips. “Bad boy. Be nice.”

Curt smirked and rolled onto his belly and closer to Bucky who still wore his skimpy little black speedo that he purchased simply to fit in with the rest of the Europeans.

American swim trunks didn’t feel authentic.

“You gonna lemme see the rest of ya?” Curt pressed a kiss to Bucky’s unbelievably tan, warm, sweaty neck. “Or you gonna be a perv?”

Bucky shrugged, scrolling on his phone in his left hand, his right buried deep in Curtis’ loose brown sea-salty waves and occasionally grabbing more grapes to chomp on. “Do pervs keep their swimsuits on at nude beaches?”

“Yes, actually.” Curt nodded, wagging his little ass once a warm breeze had tickled over it, his favorite plug between his sunburnt cheeks — the one that he’d worn to dinner with Bucky and Gale not long ago.

And Bucky had already started playing with him.

“I think the real pervs have vibrating plugs in their asses. In public.” Bucky gave Curt a look of mock-surprise once he’d flicked the level up to two, meeting Curt’s look of real shock with one of pure theatrics.

His mouth agape, his brows furrowed, his chin quivering as he moaned.

“Goddamn it.”Curtis cursed.

“Feel good?” Bucky whispered, the shade from their umbrella almost hiding them from the rest of the beach where the closest visitor seemed about thirty yards down the shoreline, minding their own business with their tits out. “S’your favorite one, isn’t it?”

Curt nodded quickly, his gaze softening into little horny feline slits, thick black lashes practically fluttering over his own pink cheeks, the freckles over the bridge of his nose accentuated by hours spent outdoors sipping wine or cappuccinos and eating all the finest culinary in the city. “Mhm.. M’favorite. Yeah.” He spluttered, practically drooling already.

Bucky laid his phone on his chest, reaching forward to caress his sweet boys soft cheeks instead, gathering the moisture from Curt’s wet lips onto his thumb and licking it clean. “God, you’re so fucking sweet.” He fawned, admiring again a practically frozen Curtis who whimpered softly in response.

“C’mere, my baby.” He hooked a hand around Curt’s waist and pulled him closer, the top half of his body resting over Bucky’s chest while the bottom involuntarily rut against every warm gust of wind with his ass or the blanket atop the soft sand with his cock.

Curt’s lips had found Bucky’s fingers, sucking them like he would his cock, or Gale’s, whenever their schedules aligned these days. “I passed my exam.” He breathed, pulling away from the hand he held with both of his own, half the size of Bucky’s. “Gotta ninety.”

Although he was expecting a one hundred or more including the bonus questions that saved his ass, he was nowhere near unhappy with where his GPA stood going into his second year.

Bucky lit up, of course, kissing him like it could be their last. “I fucking knew it.” He whispered between kisses. “My fucking genius boy. God, you’re so fucking smart. It’s so sexy.”

Bucky would eat him if he could.

Carry him around just like that, wherever he went, there Curt would be.

“What can I say?” Curt grinned, lips drenched in shared saliva. “Somebody besides J.Lo has to make a name for the Bronx.”

Bucky snarled a laugh. “Christ,” he chased the moan that escaped Curtis into his own mouth to devour it. “Better graduate early, then.” He teased, his hand grabbed again and the fingers enveloped once more in the soft hallows of Curt’s cheeks that grew pinker by the minute.

He wiggled his ass again against the plug that was stuffing him, eventually moving to sit on his folded legs and rut against his own heel, Bucky’s gaze watching all the while beneath a pair of sunglasses with rather transparent brown lenses.

Curt loved to be watched.

He loved, so very much, to be the center of Bucky’s world.

He’d put on little shows for him, all sweaty and panting and begging for it. He’d become a mess, held together by prayer alone at the altar he worshipped so reverently - theirs — their love, their passion, their unbridled blazing hearts that had morphed together somewhere along the way, or perhaps in lifetimes before this one.

This love, the one that gushed so unabashedly, was the reason Bucky was able to stomach the sight of Gale between his baby’s legs, or the way Curt sucked on his fingers while Gale fucked all of his courtroom rage out of him, his pretty blue eyes in the back of his head.

Whatever they did with Gale was an extension of their love, yes, but it would never get between it.

Could never harm it.

Bucky caressed his parted thighs but didn’t dare to touch Curt’s cock that leaked sweet little milky white droplets down his smooth shaft, a sight to behold since so much was typically impossible without a belly full of Bucky’s cum. “You’re so fuckin’ wet. Getting yourself all messy.” He whispered.

Curt was aroused beyond reason — every one of his milder kinks (amongst many others that wouldn’t be appropriate beneath the blue sky) were being fulfilled. Bucky’s eyes on him, sweet little words muttered in praise and adoration.

The sun on his shoulders, the sea breeze sending shivers down his spine.

His bent legs spread wider until he was sat between them, his ass plopped onto the beach blanket which he ground himself into. “Look’it what you done to me, daddy.” His voice was low and rasped through breathy gasps and moans, “I want your big cock in me so bad.” He chomped his teeth at Bucky, proving to be all bark and no bite.

Bucky hummed, ignoring the rumble of thunder that hung above their heads, and his cock that stiffened so much his Speedo struggled to conceal it. “Not here, honey.” He adjusted his sunglasses to sit perfectly nestled in his brown curls, his usually loose waves tightened and accentuated from the saltwater still in it from that morning. “Laws still exist in Italy, you know. I looked it up.” He had no reason to study European law, but for this, he did a little research.

“But —“ Curt whined, his palms flat against his thighs as he rode the plug like he would Bucky, feeling the intensity of the vibrations kick up a notch when Bucky flicked a little green bug off his phone screen, the notch set to its maximum which they’d never done before. Especially not after sitting on a three for so long.

Curt hardly knew what to do with himself, the fire in his loins growing and growing, just like the storm cloud that hung above their heads. “Too much — I can’t —“ he panted, scrambling to reach between his legs and get rid of it but Bucky abruptly stopped him.

“Ah, ah.” Bucky tsked, “Don’t you dare.” He pressed gentle kisses over Curt’s knuckles that held onto him like a lifeline, tight white and shaking.

“Please,” Curt whined, looking between his legs and down at his own cock that had yet to reach its climax but continued to trickle with a steady stream of excitement and arousal, toes curling as he squealed.

“You gonna come?” Bucky sat up, then. He thought maybe he was going to witness history — Curtis Biddick making himself come without being pumped full of it first. “Oh, honey. You’re so close. I can see it. Fucking look at you.” Scrunched nose, back arched, nails digging into his own thighs. “Make a mess, baby. I’ll clean you up.”

Curt huffed and puffed, their umbrella swaying in the wind and a drizzle of rain peppering his warm shoulders. “I’m g’na come.” He said through rapid huffs of breath.

“Give it to daddy, baby. C’mon.” Bucky was doing that sexy little thing he’d do. He’d pout his lips and mutter filthy encouragement through a clenched jaw. He grabbed Curt’s cheeks and severed their gaze, instead redirecting his attention down to his own cock. “Watch with me.”

Curt was wailing, watching his body react instinctively to everything happening to it but the closer he crept, the lighter he felt the vibrations becoming until they were gone completely.

And then came the torrential downpour.

“What happened?” Bucky asked once Curt began cursing, pulling his hands away from their restrictions in Bucky’s grasp to pump himself but there was hardly any hope in it.

“It fucking died!” Curt was angry.

He pulled the thing out of him and tossed it harshly into their beach bag, pulling on his so very American swim trunks and his Blink-182 tshirt. “Fucking bullshit goddamn technology, Bucky! I could make a better fucking goddamn fucking thing than that — fuck!” Curt was still panting but every other sensation he felt only a moment ago had been so abruptly ripped away from him.

“Well do it, then.” Bucky grumbled, sitting up and gathering their things as the storm raged on and Curtis stood with his arms folded, clearly pouting and being no help at all. “If you’re so fucking disappointed. It’s your job to charge it, Curt. It’s going in your ass, after all.”

Bucky rummaged for the keys to their rental car, soaked by the rain but still looking so rideable despite Curt’s suddenly horrendous attitude. “But you’re the one that fucks the battery!” He waved his arms, “With your fucking bullshit!”

Curt was left there, standing in the rain while Bucky made a beeline for their big Audi SUV that was similar in size to Bucky’s Range Rover, but he’d made several comments about maybe thinking about switching to something a bit more like this back home. “If you’re going to drain the battery, I’m just fuckin’ sayin’ you should also be held accountable for chargin’ it, too.” His voice followed behind, catching up eventually.

Bucky had opened the passenger door for Curt to get in before he even made it back over to the car, hoping he’d curl up for a nap and fall asleep before Bucky was done loading up the car again.

He couldn’t be so lucky.

“You still runnin’ your mouth?” Bucky furrowed his brows, shaking sand out of their beach blanket before folding it neatly.

“Yes!” Curt whined, wanting to fucking cry. Bucky wasn’t hearing him — he wasn’t understanding. He was so, so fucking close. He felt the butterflies wake up in his belly, his heart hammered in his chest, his legs felt like they’d turned to goo.

And then nothing.

“You aren’t listenin’ to me!”

Bucky closed the trunk before he sauntered to Curt, his neck craned downward to look at him. “Bend over.” He pointed to the passenger seat, voice stern but steady.

Sharp, but buttery smooth around the edges.

Curt stuttered for a moment, “I — Bucky,” but suddenly realized it would be his pleasure to do just that.

A silence settled between them as they stood in the rain, their narrowed gazes in a standoff until Curt backed down and draped himself over the leather interior, his trunks pulled roughly below the plump curve of his ass that fucking jiggled when he spread his legs a little, perking his ass out for Bucky to spank.

“Make it a good one.” Curt quipped, his tone almost bordering mockery. “Or it’d be a shame you bent me over at all.”

Bucky had been a little pissed off by that one, but knew whole heartedly that had been the exact point — Curt knew what he was doing.

The buttons to push.

The buttons he licked with his tongue and bit with his canines until he drew blood.

The buttons he knew all too well.

A loud and heavy handed crack left a vivid and splotchy pink handprint over the delicious and a little bit sunburnt strawberry milky white skin of Curt’s right cheek, his knuckles bitten as he whined.

“I want an apology, Curtis.” Bucky bent over his body, nipping at his ear. “Not fair to take your frustration out on me, is it?”

Curt rolled his eyes, grinning into the leather of the seat beneath him as they replaced the new car smell with their own. “Fuck you.” He mumbled, going to sit up again until a hand forced him back down.

“What was that?” Bucky shoved Curt’s stance wider with his knee, feeling a hand back again to spank Curt’s left cheek that time. He hardly tensed up at it, seeming to melt under each crack against his skin.

What am I gonna do with you, Biddick?

“Hm?”

Curt wasn’t so tough eventually. All it took was three more good whips of skin against skin before he was back to begging for it. “Just let me sit on it while you drive.” He begged, clearly unaware how unrealistic and — even moreso— unsafe that sounded.

They had a schedule that day that allowed little wiggle room and Bucky had warned Curtis of this plenty before they made the reservations that they did.

We’ll have no time to play in between, Curtie. You realize that, right?

Curt nodded his head, encouraging Bucky to confirm their reservations.

I’m not an animal, Bucky. I can control myself. Jesus.

Lie.

“C’mon. We can make it work. Please.”

Bucky checked his watch and shook his head. “We have the tour you wanted to do in an hour, Curtis.” He pulled Curt’s trunks up and manhandled him into his seat despite his resistance. “And we’re not going to be fucking late because of your bullshit.”

He closed Curt’s door and made way around the vehicle to his own where he hopped in and turned over the engine, blasting the AC against their warm skin as O Mio Bambino Care droned through the speakers.

“I’m sorry.” Curt whispered, leaning over the middle console and pressing kisses to Bucky’s bicep and shoulder. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said — I — I was havin’ an outburst.”

Those happened often.

Curt was simply a hothead, too used to acting out on his first instinct, which was always anger.

Gale was helping him work through this, but wasn’t always around to be the mediator.

Bucky wasn’t going to let him hide behind that excuse forever, though. “No, you weren’t.” He mumbled. “You were being shitty just to be shitty.” He rolled a window down and lit a cigarette. “I didn’t come either, you know.” He looked toward Curtis again. “You don’t hear me crying about it.”

Curt scrambled in his seat, crawling into Bucky’s and subsequently falling into his lap, his back smashing against the horn but he didn’t give a fuck. At the very least, it made Bucky smile. “You’re right. I’m shitty. I was bein’ shitty just to be fuckin’ shitty. And I’m sorry.” He inhaled the smoke Bucky shared with him, their lips slotting together perfectly.

Bucky could never deny Curtis the satisfaction of an accepted apology — this wasn’t a real fight. It was nothing of the sort.

It was a squabble, yes, but in the end, it wouldn’t make or break anything.

Except a few of Bucky’s fragile nerves.

“Still doesn’t mean I’m gonna fuck you, honey.” Bucky smirked, cigarette between his teeth. “C’mon, back in your spot. We gotta get goin’.”

[plothooksinc]

For the writer ask; 15, 18, 20, 23?

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

Story titles: IN MANY AND VARIED WAYS. The reason I mostly don't name them until the end of the oneshot / first chapter is because that usually gives me ideas, but sometimes I'm literally just picking and linking key words. Sometimes they're named in a very meta way (Zaibatsu Project was an experimental project I started writing about Zaibatsu and my very first AU and the Zaibatsu also had an experimental project going and-- this is the only fic of mine that was named its working title) and sometimes I'm just going "eyy cryptic crossword clue" (Black Danube is a dance with a man in black). No Rest For The Weary was a simple name because I wrote the outline and the first chapter and I'm like "man these poor kids don't even get a chance to recover" which made me start humming No Rest For The Wicked, but you know, switch one of those words out. Some Rest For The Weary. As A Treat. was named as a direct joke my beta made! Etc etc. Whatever strikes my fancy at the time, basically.

As for chapter titles, sometimes I'm extremely lazy and don't name them at all. Most of the time they just get named something reasonably generic that ties to the chapter b/c I like to avoid spoilers, really. And then sometimes I sit there cackling about a gimmick that's gonna make the whole audience wanna slap me with a dead fish at around, I dunno, Ch. 19 as the theme finally lands. (Chapters named after Portal lyrics in which the two portal users (blue and orange) are key to defeating The Final Bitch? Delicious. Don't hurt me. But also those lyrics applied so well.)

So tl;dr it's just like: whatever feels right at the time. Or whatever makes me cackle like a lunatic, I don't make the rules.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

I have a lot of these. Uhhh...I'll just go the most recent?

“Of course we were!” Donnie proclaimed, arms folded. Then winced. “--n’t. Weren’t eavesdropping. Don’t be ridiculous, we were merely concerned that you had run into emotional difficulties of some—” Mikey smacked him in the shoulder. “I mean. Eaten by rats. Because rats. Are a thing in these parts. Zombie rats. They could still be here.”

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

Some Rest For The Weary. As A Treat. I'm pretty fond of. But I think the winner goes to literally the last thing I wrote, which is: There Is No Gravy.

(Because there isn't. It's all in your imagination.)

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?

Try to find a natural ending point - one which either rounds off one piece and pauses before the next, or cliffhangers your audience without ruining the pacing. Sometimes I get to a point where I'm like "oh good grief I'm up to 16 pages" and thus I scan backward and go "oh actually, that's a good place" - it became harder and harder to find an ending point as I went on in NRFTW b/c there was so much going on, which is why we started with 6 page chapters and ended on 20 pages chapters. The chapter that ended with Mikey being taken hostage was the one where I actually kept writing for a bit, paused and went "Oh, actually--" so that's why you got that cliffhanger, and then it let me switch to Casey as a viewpoint more naturally. (I initially thought I'd get the entire lair fight done in like a chapter but /insert sobbing here)

Thank you for the questions!

Ask meme here.

[zirkkun]

The Butterfly Effect (Part 3)

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The Butterfly Effect (Undertale Fanfic - overall given a AO3 M rating) Love Like You

+ underfell!sans x gender neutral reader (first person POV from reader)

+ 5140 words, english

+ this place is a lot different from the underground you’re used to... even the people act far differently than you’re used to.

+ TW: mild body horror, violence (no blood), mild verbal abuse //

+ takes place in the Underfell Underground; barrier is not broken

+ song theme for the chapter: love like you cover by ashe

+ AO3 link

My hand was cold once I woke up. I gripped at the air, feeling nothing around me. Desperately, I tried to lazily reach my arm out, hoping I'd find Sans somewhere next to me. Nothing. Giving in, I cracked my eyes open.

I wasn't even in Sans's house anymore.

I shot up from the bed I was in. I'd woken up in the same house as yesterday, but the sheets on this bed were far more tattered. Some of the paint was chipping off of the red bedroom walls. I took a step down off of the mattress, my feet touching the cold, wooden floor. I could have sworn it was carpeted. Wait, that aside, I could have sworn I had shoes. But, searching every corner of the room, I found not even a sock. There was nothing in here aside from empty dressers and dirt.

I pulled open the wooden closet's door; it creaked loudly as I did, as if it hadn't been used in years. As I assumed, there still wasn't anything inside, but what I did find was a mirror on the inside of the door, cracked and falling apart onto the floor, but the majority of it was still in tact. Though, the condition of the mirror was nothing compared to the condition of my own body. My hair was a mess, strands going every which way, and when I went to adjust it, it was so thick with grease that I nearly thought it was wet. Disgusted, I stopped touching it, but that wasn't even the half of what changed. My skintone and eye color were the same, but my outfit was entirely different, not to mention torn. Every edge of the fabric was frayed, as if I'd grabbed rags off of the street. What the hell happened last night? How did I even end up here? And why did this room get so trashed if I was the only one here between yesterday and now? Well, I guess I can't know that I was the only one here... I did get back somehow, after all.

As I went to close the door back up, I noticed something protruding from the base of my neck. It was small and azure, like a little sphere of some kind. I rubbed my thumb against it: it hurt to touch, but it was most certainly growing out of my neck, through my skin. I didn't know what to do with it. I tried to pull it out, but doing so somehow caused me to nearly choke, as if there was something attached to the little ball that was roped around my esophagus. I coughed and hacked, gripping my throat as I collapsed to the ground in pain. Even worse is that, after my panicked coughs of pain, is that I could feel the little blue ball wriggling and moving as I began to recover. Instinctively, I clawed my neck, only causing my pain to flare up once again as I shrieked. Horrifically, I pushed myself up from the floor, trying to inspect what was previously a blue lump on my neck.

The lump had unfolded. From it sprouted a very small azure forget-me-not, its petals moist like a real, growing flower. I brushed its surface, feeling the touch as if it was part of my skin. It sent a shiver down my spine: this isn't supposed to happen. Why is there a flower growing out of my neck?

Everything today was driving me crazy. The past two days? Whatever.

I forced myself to walk outside of the room, shaking with aftershock from the pain in my throat. The hallway from the house I recognized was completely different -- everything was trashed, even worse than the room I had been in. Flower pots that were once on tables were shattered and scattered across the floor. The lights were dim, broken, and flickering. But, the same as yesterday morning, the home was empty without a trace of life or dust. Even as I found myself crawling through the basement again, I couldn't find anything other than the ice cold floor under my feet -- which grew colder with each step I took towards the exit.

A gush of freezing cold wind hit my face as the Ruins door creaked from my touch. I shivered instantaneously, only feeling the cold worse and worse. Carefully, and fearfully, I took a step with my bare feet into the icy snow, recoiling almost immediately. I have to go. I have to move. I repeated the same encouragement in my head over and over, taking heavy breaths as the cold bit at my skin more and more by the second. Eventually, I closed my eyes, threw open the door, and slammed my foot into the snow. It hurt. Another step. More pain. Keep going. It was so cold.

There didn't seem to be anyone else out in forest yet -- at least, I didn't hear anything, but I was also moderately preoccupied by the sharpness of pain in my toes. I took a heavy breath once again, the exhale visible in the cold air, pushing through this pain. There has to be someone, right? Maybe Sans again? Or maybe even Papyrus? Anyone else? I don't know what to do here, or how to get home...

Then I spotted it. The bridge, with its silly, oversized gate that barely balanced enough across the opening to stand up correctly. If things went as they normally did, in a little bit, I should hear that familiar voice...

"Human."

Oh no.

That wasn't familiar at all.

It was deeper, more raspy, and overall... terrifying. I froze in place, my now numbed feet succumbing to the pins that surrounded my every bit of exposed flesh.

"Hey, now... don'cha know how'ta greet a new pal? Turn around."

I swallowed quietly, slowly turning myself to face the voice's source standing behind me. I had already been trembling from the cold, but now I was shivering with fear so much that I'm surprised I haven't fallen over yet. My breath stuttered, jittering with every slight movement I made.

Red. It was the first thing I noticed about him. His whole outfit was lined with red traces, even his sweater was solid crimson. His black jacket had red patches along its golden stripes down each arm, matching the stripes on his black gym shorts. But when I caught sight of his face -- it was almost unbelievable. So much was familiar, yet so much was different. I could see in those eye sockets and with the shape of his skull, this was Sans, but those teeth... shark-like, one having been replaced by gold that was jammed into a now cracked part of his upper jaw. His smirk was horrifying, yet somehow patient, as he waited for me to finally turn around before continuing his speech.

The red Sans pulled a hand out of his pocket, every bone on it visible and cracked, unlike Sans's usual mittens. I stared at it for a long time, as if I'd somehow never seen these hands before, but I think I took in those scars the most. It was like a worn-down version of what I was used to. An abandoned version you'd find at the second-hand store. But soon, he pushed the hand closer to me, aggressively demanding, "Shake my hand."

I reached out my left hand nervously, feeling somehow more scared to go for a handshake than I was to freeze my feet off in the snow. But the second my palm touched his, I was struck with a jolt that flew up my arm and straight down my spine until it could fly from my feet into the ground. I yelped at the sudden pain -- only for the tension to break with the red Sans's deep voice erupting into a fit of laughter. He was absolutely losing it, even trying to speak but finding himself unable to for how much his giggling just overwhelmed his entire being. Eventually, he finally hacked out through laugher, "Fuck, the joy buzzer in the hand trick, it's always funny."

I couldn't help but wonder about him. His speech was so similar to Sans's, but just that little bit different. His word choice, his actions, even his choice of humor was just as dorky as Sans's. But something was so incredibly different about him. I don't know what happened. Is this still him?

"Well, nice to meet'cha, I'm --"

"Sans, right?"

The eyelights of the skeleton before me shrank with sudden fear, his previous expression of joy falling apart. I couldn't tell what he was thinking -- was he scared? Angry? Confused? His facial ticks were so much different than what I was used to, I had no idea what to think. I couldn't read him. I thought again, fearfully, is this Sans?

"... how the hell d'ya know that?" Red Sans's voice was low, his shark teeth flashed in a angry frown. His eyelights shot fear down my spine.

What do I say? What do I do? I don't know! Every semblance of a sentence falls apart before I can get it out. He takes a step towards me; I take a step back. "Oh, not so confident now, are ya? Gonna pretend like you're a little bitchy scaredy cat now, huh? Look, human, you're lucky I haven't just reaped ya for EXP yet. Maybe if ya tell me why the hell you know my name, we can get away scot-free, eh?" His frown was deadly, his eyelights shrinking to none. "How's that sound?" he hissed, his shoe jamming into my numbed toes.

Had it not been for the snow, that would have hurt a lot more, but even still, it threw my walking off balance, and I fell onto the bridge, it creaking horrifyingly loud as I did. It swayed a little; I took a glace at the ground below it -- oh. There wasn't any. Oh no.

My attention was pulled back to the red Sans by force: he grabbed me with his right hand, fingertips jammed into my cheeks, twisting my neck back to face him. He knelt over me, resting his elbows on his kneecaps, face as violent as I'd ever seen his before. No, it's far more deadly. Far more sincere.

A bone with a sharpened end manifested itself in the red Sans's free hand. He aimed it directly at me. "Ya gonna talk, or no? Trust me, I don't wanna hurt such'a pretty human as much as the next guy, but I can't have little spies or whatev'a you are runnin' around, ya feel? So, jus' tell me how the hell ya know my name, and I'll let'cha go, sweetheart."

The pet names were horrifying coming from him for the first time in my life. Though, this voice was completely different. His name is Sans but... This isn't Sans. Not at all.

I croaked a sound from my throat, to the red Sans's surprise. I was scared to, but even still, I continued, with the best lie I could muster while having my life flash before my very eyes.

"You... look like someone I know with that name."

But he didn't seem to like it. He immediately frowned, his mouth almost in a pout. "That's it? C'mon, doll face, you're really gonna make me go through all the effort of tryin' to kill ya just for somethin' as simple as that?" He huffed, the bone from his hand dissipating as he dropped my head back onto the wooden bridge. "Such'a waste of energy. C'mon, get'chur ass up. I still sorta got a job or somethin' for watchin' out for humans, so I guess I'll pretend to do that or somethin', I don' fuckin' know." As he stood up, he started mumbling other things to himself, stepping over my body to the other side of the crevice where I assumed his sentry station would be. I slowly got myself up off of the ground, every bit of me still trembling and numb.

"Oh, c'mon, what's the fuckin' hold up?" Red Sans expressed this annoyance loudly as he turned around to face me. I had just managed to stand up when we locked eyes for a second, only able to register fear for a split second before my eyes went fuzzy, and my body went completely limp.

 The first shock was that I woke up. The second shock was that it was wrapped up practically swaddled in three blankets, curled up on a familiarly ugly carpeted floor. I could feel heat radiating from somewhere, and when I looked up, I spotted a room heater only a few feet away from my gaze. And, only another few feet away from that, coiled up into a stiff ball leaning against the chipping paint on the walls, was the red Sans from before. He had a mug in his hand now, and a expression sprawled across his face that couldn't be described as anything other than "grumpy."

I slowly freed my arms from the blankets around me, the movement startling Sans a bit. "Oh. You're alive," he muttered. It had traces of forced disappointment, but that breathy tone of relief overpowered it. "Don't go fallin' into never-ending canyons like that, a'ight? 's not good." His voice was overall more muffled and slurring, lacking the distinct confidence it held earlier today.

I leaned up from where I had been laying, finding myself in Sans's room once again. But this one was much different. His walls were chipping paint, there was a lot more trash everywhere, and it looked like his window had a big crack in it. Even his door was loose: it was half off the top hinge, leaning crooked into the carpeted floor. I wondered where he got these blankets from -- they were practically pristine, as if they were brand-new, with some really odd design choices. One was flames, another with pirate ships, and the third was a bunch of cats. I kind of giggled at the thought of red Sans here having a soft side for baby kittens, considering he literally threatened my life only not too long ago. Or... maybe it was a while ago. I don't know how long I was asleep.

"Do you like cats?" I asked him, referencing to the blanket around me.

Sans sneered. "Hell no. I hate those damn bastards. My brother's the cat guy. Prob'ly cause they're jus' as horrible as he is." He mumbled the last part, almost as if he didn't want anyone to hear him. He took a loud, long sip from the mug he had still in his grip.

"Do... you not get along with your brother?" I had hesitated, only to stop myself from directly referring to him as Papyrus. I didn't need another death sentence today.

Red Sans laughed. "I couldn't if I wanted'ta. And trust me. I've wanted'ta." He glared at the floor. "Fuckin' asshole's too full of himself to care about me anymore." His voice sounded defeated in a way, losing that pride that he'd been otherwise holding strong. He slammed down another glug, this time quietly and quickly.

I pushed the blankets around me off, with intentions of moving a bit closer to him, but within seconds of the first shuffle I made to leave the bundle, Sans placed down his mug, shortcutting in front of me -- even though it was just a few feet -- and re-wrapping me into the blankets. "You'll get fuckin' cold again. Don't."

I was confused by this sudden turn around from earlier. "But it's hot in here," I confessed, a twinge of a whine lacing my tone.

Now, I should say, that was said entirely seriously, without any second meanings whatsoever.

However, that didn't stop Sans from locking gazes with me, pouting even more so than before, a hint of red whisping across his cheeks. "Don' say shit like that," he murmured, voice slurred as he let go of my blankets.

"What are you talking about? I'm swaddled in a bunch of blankets with a space heater by my head. It's hot."

Suddenly, something clicked, and his face got an even deeper shade of red, teeth sprawling into an angry grin. "F'ckin' bullshit..." he mumbled angrily. "Wh-whatever! Nevermind what I said. Jus'... I don' fuckin' care. Just don't complain if ya get cold again, a'ight?"

And with that, he went back to his huddled position against the wall. I let the blankets slip off of my shoulders as I crept over to where Sans was sitting. He raised a brow as I approached. "What?" he snapped.

"Uh... Can I sit by you?" I asked.

"No. Fuck off."

Oh.

I went back to where I had been sitting before by the room heater, my knees tucked up to my chest so I could lean my chin against them. My eyes fell upon red Sans once again. He wasn't looking back to me, but I was just staring. It was... Hard to see him as a man I once dated. I kept seeing bits and pieces of the Sans I know in him -- each time I see one, my Soul flares up like it's an instinct response. But so much of him was different that it was very hard to think of him as... Sans. His speech, his voice, his clothing choice... He was so distinctly different.

And yet, that gaze in his eye sockets was all the same. And the fact that he risked himself to save me... even after threatening me... He was in there, somewhere.

"Sans," I blurted. He grunted a response of acknowledgement. "Why did you save me from falling off into the abyss? Why not leave me? You were going to kill me anyway, weren't you?"

He didn't respond for a long while. I had expected maybe a laugh or a huff or something like that, but he didn't do any of those things. Even still, he refused to make eye contact again, staring into his now-empty mug. "I wasn't gonna kill ya," he breathed. "That's not my style. I know it doesn't make a lotta sense, livin' in a place where ya gotta kill to survive'n'all that shit... but it doesn't feel good. Gaining EXP feels sick." He sighed heavily. "An' I saved ya, 'cause... 'cause... 'c-cause it's my job'ta capture humans, not kill 'um. That's Asgore's job." He didn't sound so sure on that final explanation.

Red Sans set down his mug and rolled out from his ball into a stretched out position, both his feet out before him, and his arms acting as a cusion as they were crossed and sitting behind his head leaning against the wall. But, I couldn't help but notice...

"Nice socks," I commented.

Instantly, Sans jolted, pulling his legs closer to him. "I-I told ya, my brother's the cat guy, not me. These are his socks, a-a'ight? I just didn't feel like doin' laundry!"

They were an off white, with little brown cat faces stitched into them like a polka dot pattern. It really contrasted the rest of his "tough guy" kind of outfit he had going. Admittedly, it was cute.

Outside of his room, towards the front of the house, there was a very loud door slam. Sans's entire body jolted, eyelights falling to slits of white. "SANS!" A scream echoed from the living room.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck --" Sans kept repeating this in a panic, looking to me with scattered gazes, flipping his eyes to everything in his room before finally deciding on just grabbing me like some kind of pillow -- I grunted, to which he shushed me -- tossed me onto his bare mattress, and then threw the blankets on top of me. "Be quiet. Don't say a fuckin' thing or you're dead, got it?" Sans hissed to me. The door to his room slammed open.

"SANS." The loud voice ripped through the room without any care for the pain it caused.

Sans's voice followed up, much more quiet and trembling. "Y-yeah, Boss?"

"HOW MANY TIMES THIS WEEK DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STAY. AT. YOUR. POST!" There was the sound of aggressive tapping on the floorboards. "YOU HAVE EXACTLY ONE JOB AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT. YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK TERRIBLE WITH THIS STUPID CHARADE OF BEING LAZY YOU HAVE!"

"S-s-sorry, Boss, I'll go back, d-didn't mean'ta worry ya --"

"AND WHY IN THE NAME OF ASGORE DO YOU HAVE MY BLANKETS IN YOUR ROOM?" I froze. Oh no. It's his brother. Steps came closer to me, echoing on the wooden floor like the horrifying sound of hearing a teacher with heels down the hall while you skipped class. I kept still, slowing my breath and doing my best to remain calm. "AND THESE ARE THE ONES I JUST WASHED! AND YOU BRING THEM INTO YOUR DISGUSTING ROOM!"

"S-s-sorry, Boss, I wasn't thinkin' --"

"NO, YOU WEREN'T. I'D SAY RETURN THEM TO ME, BUT --" I felt as he snatched the top one for a moment, dropping it quickly after with a sound of disgust. "EUGH. THEY ALREADY REEK OF MUSTARD AND GREASE. WASH THEM FIRST."

"Y-you got it, B-Boss." Sans's trembling voice was so opposite to the confidence I heard from him earlier that it alone was scaring me. The heels clicked across the floor again, going back to Sans's doorway.

"AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH THAT, COME BACK TO WORK. AND DON'T WASTE TIME." The door slammed shut before Sans could even reply. I relaxed a bit, but nothing happened until there was the front door slam once again. That's when Sans let loose a large breath, throwing the blankets off of me. His eyes were stricken with fear, eyelights trembling slits of white that looked me over the second he saw me again. Did he think I'd disappeared?

"S-sorry you had'ta see that... or, uh, hear that." Sans mumbled as he sat on the opposite end of his bed. "Fuck, sorry, 'm really sorry..."

I sat up quickly. "What's --" But as soon as I saw him, I stopped myself.

His face was deadpan, staring at the floor, his hands loosely thrown across his lap. He didn't say anything, didn't look at me. He just stared. I let him have the silence; Sans needed a moment to recollect himself, that much was evident.

"I'mma ask you somethin'," he mumbled. "Jus' who the hell are you?" I paused, confused, waiting for further explanation. "You don't think I fuckin' noticed when there was somethin' different about ya? You're not the normal kid who comes runnin' around here all willy-nilly'n'shit." Sans inhaled heavily, his hands balling into fists on his lap. "If ya were, things wouldn't be happenin' this way. What the hell did you do? Where the hell did ya come from?"

Honestly, I had no idea how to respond. Should I just say it outright? Would he understand what I'm talking about? Then again, if he recognizes the pattern of every reset, and only now something is different... I think he's probably more able to understand this than I thought. Was this... something Sans always recognizes? The... last one I was with mentioned something about this too. But the... first one I met never said anything about this.

"An' you've got thing on your neck, too." Red Sans looked at me again, eyelights focused on my neck. I stupidly tried to look at it, but then instead reached my hand up to it -- ow.

Right. The flower.

"Somethin's real weird about ya, sweetheart, and I don't know what the hell it is."

I sighed. Well, the truth is better than nothing. I might as well say it.

"I don't think I'm supposed to be here," I started. Sans snickered and mumbled something like "That much is obvious," but I ignored him. "I was dating you but... you looked different than you do now. I can still see it's you from your face, but... Your resemblance to the Sans I recall is really slim."

Red Sans perked up for a second upon hearing this. His brow furrowed, eyes targeted on my face. "You're kiddin', right? You're out here tryin' to tell me you're from some alternate universe?" He released a gruff sigh, muttering under his breath what sounded like, "For fuck's sake." He continued mumbling for a little while longer until something hit him. His muttering stopped as a very uncharacteristic squeak left his teeth, Sans slapping his hand across his mouth as he flew to the very edge of his mattress, eyelights staring at me. Almost like his hand was burning his face, it started glowing red. "D-d-d-... D-did you say you were... dating me?" He sounded almost scared.

I tilted my head. "Yes," I answered truthfully. I figured I better not ask why.

His hand dropped from his face, the corners of his mouth twitching a bit, but Sans otherwise didn't stop staring at me. His gaze did flicker for a while, though, as if he was suddenly very interested in every inch of my body, his face glowing brighter by the second. Eventually he met my eyes again and started rambling. "L-look, doll face, I know I said ya looked pretty earlier, but if you're gonna jus', uh, make up some whack story about how we were datin' in another world or time or whatever, jus'... I-I dunno, jus'... jus' outright tell me if ya like me like a normal person, a'ight?! Don't do... whatever stupid business you're doin' right now!"

His words made sense, but the sentences didn't string well together.

"Sans, I'm not lying."

"You jus' makin' shit up to make up for the fact that you knew my name, right? You jus' knew it from somewhere. I don't fuckin' know where the hell a human would live unnoticed in the Underground but you're one helluva spy t'jus'... I dunno, do whatever the hell ya do? Look, I won't turn ya in! I'll keep ya here or whatever so Asgore doesn't kill ya! You can just tell me you're doin' whatever spy human-y shit you're doin', I don't fuckin' know, without lyin' about it!"

"Sans, I'm not lying," I repeated.

"How the hell's a guy like me supposed'ta believe that? That ya cared 'bout me enough wherever else to date me in a diff'rent timeline? Nah, nah that's bullshit!" He violently shook his hands, as if throwing away the idea. "You're speakin' straight up bullshit!"

"What would make you believe me?"

He halted his speech, staring at me blankly. Sans's face ran through several different expressions at once, overall looking overwhelmed and confused. Eventually, he settled on anger: "Don't suggest shit like that, human," he hissed.

"Suggest what?" I blinked, genuinely confused as to whether or not I said something weird.

"Stop! Suggestin' you like me! 's bullshit!" He ran through an amalgam of confused emotions again, his hands trembling into fists once again. "It... It's not... Nobody..." Sans shook his head. "Don't fuckin' bother with me, a'ight? Whatever, I don't care if you're being truthful or not! Jus' don't mess with me! Do whatever little reset-y thin' you humans do whenever somethin' goes wrong and find somebody else!"

The room held a silence. Sans just breathed heavily for a long while, seemingly winded from yelling so much. But I, on the other hand...

"What do you mean... 'reset'?"

First, he was pissed at the question, and I was expecting another attack of words, but then his expression suddenly fell to something so somber and gentle that he reminded me of the Sans I met. Something about that look in his eyes -- that flicker of hope in his eye sockets, the faintness of a dream across his reddend face, it reminded me of that time. The MTT resort. That pseudo date. When I decided to turn back and stay. That same hope and dream.

"Y... You're jokin', now," red Sans heaved. "No, no, you're... You gotta be messin' with me... But how... How..." His head drooped, attention given entirely to his floor. "I don't get it... but, why... why? Why would you do that to yourself?"

Taken aback, I quickly replied, "Do what to myself?"

"... Deal with me. Put up with me. Learn how to... love me."

His voice was quiet and tender, as if on the edge of breaking.

Sans didn't look at me.

His whole body was trembling.

He was gripping onto the sleeves of his sweatshirt for dear life.

It's as if he was near death.

I carefully thought through my words before I spoke. One misstep could send this the wrong way entirely. I took in a deep breath. And another. And another. Before finally deciding to give him my honest confession.

"It's not so hard to love every aspect of someone once you've already fallen for them. You're not exempt from being lovable."

He chuckled. He let loose a heavier laugh. "Doll face... That's cute, but you're wrong." He stared me in the face, his expression of confidence hiding the fear within his shaking eyelights. "My own fuckin' brother doesn't even love me. We grew up together, I practically raised him, and... he doesn't care 'bout me anymore." He sucked in a harsh breath. "He was all I had left after... after... a-after..." Breath stuttering even harder, he forced himself to continue. "... but now I'm nothing to him. Just some guy he can use for whatever stupid shit he's gotta do... he won't even let me call him my brother anymore. He's..." Sans pulled himself into a tight hug, death-gripping his arms as he trembled, voice cracking with every breath he took. His eyelights had fallen to the floor, focusing on nothing.

"I can't even be loved by my own damn brother, and you're expectin' me to just... believe that you dated me in another timeline?" Sans croaked with more laughter. "Sweetheart, I..." His tone started sarcastic, but he couldn't even bring himself to finish whatever joke he'd started. Instead, he clamped his mouth shut, his jaw quivering slightly before he finally settled on what to say. "Even if you loved me then, I... I don't think I could bring myself to love you like you love me. I - I can't... do that again."

"Sans," I breathed. His attention flicked up to me again, however nervously. "It's okay. I promise you, I'm not going to hurt you. I'd swear my life on it." I offered him a smile; his eyelights perked up for the first time during this whole endeavor.

"There's almost nothing you could do or be that would make me stop loving you."

Ah. A line I would later come to regret.

[simplee-dreaming]

The Party

A/N: I spent far too much time deciding how all of their outfits were gonna look so I hope it paid off. Also, I know some things I mention have different names in different countries but I've gone for what I only know as the British version. Hope you like it! (Totally didn't get inspiration for this idea from driving past a joke shop myself...)

Word count: 2951

Summary: The reader attends her first themed party hosted by RDJ, but her outfit lands her in trouble.

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Tonight was the night. The night you had been waiting for for weeks. A party at Robert Downey Jr’s house. But not just any old party, oh no, a party for the Avengers cast. Not even just a party - a themed party.

See, Robert is well known for his themed parties. Of course he’s done the classics such as the black and white theme, the 80s theme, even the “dress as your favourite superhero” theme - what could be more suited? But he’s also well known for his unique themes. For example: dress as what you wanted to be when you were a kid; dress as your favourite fruit or veg; dress as another member of the cast; dress as your favourite gay icon. The list goes on.

This was your very first party with the cast though. Being the newest member, you were super excited to have a great night with them all outside of work - plus little Tom couldn’t stop guessing what this theme could be. It was, of course:

“Dress as your favourite board game.”

Yep. Board games.

You spent ages trying to figure out what board game you were going to dress up as. The main rule of the themed parties was that you couldn’t tell other people what you were going as unless you deliberately needed someone else to complete your outfit.

You were desperate for ideas now that the party was only a week away. It wasn’t until you were walking down the highstreet, and something in the shop window caught your eye, that you finally had an idea. You were standing outside of a joke shop, and in the window stood a dress...designed like a Twister mat.

Perfect.

The day had finally arrived. No one was filming today so you had all day to get yourself ready. Hair and makeup done, Twister dress on, ready to rumble.

You made your way to RDJ’s house at half 8 - late enough to not be the first one there but early enough to enjoy everyone’s company for longer. You smiled with glee as you stepped into the house. You were tingling with excitement as you walked towards the room where the music played. The minute you walked into the room, everyone approached you. And one by one you scanned them all to see what they were dressed as.

The first person you saw was Anthony, he was dressed up as Cards Against Humanity. Not quite a board game but funny nonetheless. The front of his outfit was completely black and the back was completely white. The writing on his front read “I drink to forget _____”, and the writing on his back read “Tom Holland”. You giggled.

Next was Scarlett. She decided to come dressed as Pictionary. Part of her outfit was made with polyester and nylon, and she carried around a whiteboard marker so that anyone could draw a picture on her outfit and others had to guess what it was. This could also be wiped off easily, ready for the next person to draw.

Sebastian was next, you snorted when you saw him. He was dressed as Frustration. His outfit was divided into the four colours: his top right being yellow, top left being green, bottom right being blue and bottom left being red. He had placed a semisphere plastic hat over his head and inside lay a foam dice which jumped about whenever he shook his head.

After Seb came Liz. She was dressed up as Uno. Her front and back were two different colours of the uno reverse card - the front being red and the back being green. The point of this is that whenever someone asked her to do something she didn’t wanna do, she’d just point to her outfit and get out of doing it.

Next was Paul B. He came as Trivial Pursuit. Random questions and answers were plastered all over his suit, such as: “how many feet are there in a fathom? 6”; “What three-word slogan was named the most popular advertisement ever in a 2000 poll? Beanz Meanz Heinz”; and his own personal saying, “Where do snitches end up? In ditches”.

Following Paul was the unsurprising double act. Big Tom and Hemsy. They had come dressed as Snakes and Ladders. Tom had glued a giant toy python to his all-black outfit, and Chris had stuck a cardboard ladder to the front and back of his all-white outfit. Simple, yet effective.

Then came Evans who was dressed as Noughts and Crosses, despite numerous comments from RDJ about it not being a board game. His back was full of paper noughts and crosses stuck to his top but his front had a similar material to Scarlett’s where the cast could play their own game on his front and then wipe it off for the next players.

You scanned little Tom next. He had gone all out with his outfit, dressing up as Operation. He was wearing a light pink coloured top and matching trousers and had stapled all the pieces of operation to their correct areas, such as the butterfly, the spare rib and the wish bone. He’d also used face paint to paint his nose a dark shade of red. Adorably creepy in a way.

Last, but certainly not least, was the man himself. Robert Downey Jr. He came as the popular game Cluedo. And boy did he look fancy. He wore a top hat that had a giant question mark stuck to it, and a tuxedo with a long sweeping tail attached to the jacket. Neatly placed all over his black suit were the names of the suspects, the names of the rooms and the names of the weapons - all written in white. He looked splendid.

“Twister. How unusual. I love it,” Robert said, the others nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, you all look incredible,” you said.

Little Tom held out his arm and led you to the dance floor where you spent the next hour dancing the night away. Big Tom and Hemsy were owning the dance floor with their moves. Many party classics blared through the speakers, including 5,6,7,8...which you knew the dance off by heart but RDJ had to be taught the moves by you and little Tom.

Another hour passed and you were sat with Scarlett, Liz and Paul in the other room where the music wasn’t so loud. Seb was with you but he had asked Liz to get him a drink and she played the uno reversal so now he was on drinks duty.

“Paul, can I borrow your suit just so I can literally look smarter?” You asked, he chuckled.

“Maybe I can just follow you around and relay the facts for you,”

“You could be the Yoda to my Luke. Though I think you’re too big to sit on my back,” you said.

“Here’s your punch,” said Seb, returning with two cups for him and Liz.

“Finally, what took you so long?” she asked.

“I stopped in the party room, Anthony and little Tom are having a competition to see who can do the macarena better,” he said.

“But...the macarena is the macarena…” you said, confused.

“Try telling them that. Tom insisted that the Brits do it better apparently.”

“Well, we do have some absolute bangers,” you chuckled. Paul agreed.

“So where did you get that dress?” Scarlett asked you.

“The joke shop down the highstreet. I was walking past it last week and found it in the window. Thought it would be perfect,” you shrugged.

“Until Mackie gets over excited and plays Twister on you,” Seb said.

“I’d like to see him try,” you replied.

“Ah, here’s the gang. What are you all doing in here?” Robert said, entering the room with big Tom and Evans.

“We’re just sat chatting….wait, have you left Holland and Mackie alone?” Seb asked.

“They’re fine, Chris is with them,” Tom replied. You tilted your head at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe I should check on them…” Tom said, you nodded and he left the room.

“Soooo, how’s it going?” Evans asked everyone.

“We’re all fine but Y/N is a bit twisted,” Seb said. Everyone laughed but you bonked him on the head, making the dice jolt.

“Oi!”

You giggled and slapped the plastic hat again, the dice landed on a 6.

“Eyy I get another go!” You cheered before bonking him on the head again. He sighed but chuckled.

“Well it’s nice to see her dressed as an actual board game,” Robert said, turning to Evans.

“Hey, that’s not fair! Noughts and crosses is a board game!” Evans protested.

“I wanna play,” you said. Evans smiled at you.

You got Liz to play with you and you went first. You decided to play as noughts and took the bottom left corner. After a few rounds, you got a straight diagonal line. You cheered as Liz huffed, but she congratulated you nonetheless.

“I wanna play pictionary now,” you said, turning to Scarlett. She smiled and handed you a whiteboard pen. You thought for a moment then began drawing.

You pressed down on Scarlett’s outfit to make sure you could draw properly. You ran the pen down her stomach and she giggled.

“Hey, careful, that tickles,” she said. You blushed and apologised but continued. Everytime the pen went over a certain spot Scarlett would giggle but she never flinched.

“Okay, I’m done,” you announced. Everyone leaned forward and groaned once they saw it.

“Really? You know none of us can say that,” Seb said.

“First one to say it correctly wins,” you shrugged. You had drawn Mjolnir, something that everyone struggled to say.

“Midge-oh-lair,” said Liz.

“Mjohn-ler,” said Seb.

“Me-joln-ier,” said Evans.

“Hey! It’s Mjolnir!” came a voice from the door. Hemsy had just walked in with Mackie, little Tom and big Tom.

“We have a winner,” you grinned and everyone groaned again.

“Okay now I wanna play snakes and ladders,” you said. You scrambled to your feet and launched yourself at Hemsy, climbing up his tall body and clinging to him like a koala. He laughed.

“Okay, and what do we do now?” He chuckled. You shrugged and hugged him tighter, he returned the favour.

“As nice as this is, princess, I can’t carry you around the rest of the evening,” Hemsy said.

“Alright, hang on. Gotta complete the game,” you said. You motioned big Tom to come nearer and leaned over to hug him. Your legs followed and wrapped around his waist before you slid down his body and landed on the floor. Tom laughed.

“Impressive,” he said. You lay flat at the floor and looked at him, giggling.

“You’re very playful today,” big Tom said.

“I’m just happy to be here,” you giggled, he smiled at you.

“Alright my turn, I wanna play twister,” Mackie said, launching himself at you.

“WAIT!” You cried, panicked by his sudden movement. Mackie didn’t listen.

“I’m not doing anything! I need someone to give me an instruction,” he said.

“Right foot red,” Seb said. Mackie lifted his foot and put it on the first red spot he could see, directly on your tummy. You giggled as he adjusted his foot, rubbing it against your tummy.

“Noho Anthony!”

He looked and realised what he was doing, then smirked and vibrated his foot on your tummy again. You giggled louder.

“The twister mat is making noises, how do I turn it off?” He asked.

“Um, try putting your left hand on yellow,” little Tom piped up. Mackie grinned as he spotted a yellow spot on your ribs. He put his hand down and gave them an “accidental” squeeze.

“Hehey!” You shrieked.

“Didn’t work Holland, anyone else?” Mackie said.

“Try right hand green,” Scar said, smirking. Mackie placed his right hand on the green spot on your side and squeezed again.

“Stohop!” You cried.

“Right well that didn’t work, and I can’t put my left foot on it otherwise I would break it. Any other ideas?” he said.

“You may have to push a few buttons, try turning it off and on again,” Paul said. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and shook his foot on your tummy. You screeched loudly.

“Nope, still making noises,”

“Let me have a look,” Liz said. Mackie had you pinned below his hands and foot. You started to giggle as you felt a single finger run up your neck.

“Nonono Lizzie!” You squeaked as she dragged a nail up the other side.

“There must be an off button around here,” she teased. She gently scribbled all her nails into your neck. You scrunched up your shoulders and shrieked.

“NOHOHOHO!”

“Definitely not here, you sure it’s not there Mackie?” Lizzie asked. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and your giggles turned to laughter.

“Nope, no no, that’s made it worse,” he said. “Someone try a blue spot!”

Evans jumped up and ran over to help. He found a blue spot right on your hip, he placed his hand over it and started squeezing.

“NAHAHAHAHAHA!” You screamed. Trying to buck your body was impossible with Mackie still pinning you.

“Dammit Evans you turned the volume up!” Mackie yelled.

“Maybe the problem lies outside of the mat itself,” big Tom piped up.

“What you saying Hiddleston? That we’re the problem?” Mackie asked.

“Not at all, just that there appears to be parts connected to the mat, but not part of the mat itself,” Tom said, putting his hand on his chin. He slowly approached you and swiped a single finger under your knee. You kicked it away.

“Now it’s malfunctioning,” Mackie informed him. Tom hummed and swiped a finger under your other knee. You kicked again. He then spider tickled under both your knees and you shrieked loudly.

“PLEHEHEASE I’M NOHOT BROKEN!” You screamed.

“God DAMN you made it talk!” Mackie yelled.

“I know what the issue is,” Robert said, stepping forward.

“Do go on?” big Tom said.

“You need to hit all the pressure points at once. It’s like a giant reset button, wear it down till it reboots itself,” he said. Everyone looked at each other.

“Position yourselves,” Robert instructed.

Mackie stepped off of your stomach and knelt by your left side, Seb knelt by your right. Lizzie was still up by your neck and big Tom by your knees. Scarlett was by your right shoulder, Paul by your left. Evans positioned himself by your hips, little Tom the other side by your thighs. Hemsworth and Robert sat next to your feet.

“Nonononono please!” You cried.

“Rebooting systems in 3…” Robert began.

“No please!”

“2…”

“Wait!”

“1…”

“No wait I’m not brOHOHOHOKEN!” You cried as everyone attacked you at once. No one was pinning you down but you could hardly twist and turn with 10 people tickling all your spots at once. They were all ruthless and yet...you sort of loved it.

“PLEHEHEHASE NOHOHOHO!” You cried, flailing your arms around. Mackie and Seb were squeezing up and down your sides and across your tummy, Lizzie was tickling deep into your neck, Scar and Paul had just caught an arm each and pinned it upwards so they could tickle your underarms, big Tom was scratching under your knees and squeezing the tops, Evans was squeezing and scribbling into your hips, little Tom was scratching up and down your thighs and Hemsy and Robert had grabbed a foot each to tickle. It was pure torture.

“KEEP GOING, IT’LL WEAR DOWN EVENTUALLY!” Robert yelled over your screams of laughter. Everyone picked up the speed and you screamed louder than ever before.

You now had your arms and legs pinned by Scar, Paul, Robert and Hemsworth so you tried to buck your hips as much as possible and scrunch up your shoulders to protect your neck but it was no use.

“NOHOHOHO MOHOHORE!” You cried. You let out another loud scream and fell into a silent laughter. Tears filled your eyes to the point where you couldn’t even see Lizzie kneeling over you.

“Reboot complete,” Robert instructed. He stopped tickling your foot and one by one the rest of the cast followed and ceased their attack. You lay there, taking in deep breaths of air.

“You alright twisty?” Mackie asked, sliding up to your head. You nodded, letting out residue giggles. Evans gave you a hand up and propped you up against the sofa.

“You...are...all...evil…” you breathed out. Everyone chuckled.

“You were in a playful mood, we wanted to join,” Evans said, winking at you.

“I never knew you were so ticklish,” Hemsworth said.

“So would you be if 10 people ganged up on you,” you replied. He laughed and nodded in agreement. Little Tom sat down next to you.

“You okay?” He asked, pulling you in for a hug. You nodded.

“Yeah...that was fun,” you clamped your mouth shut after realising what you just said.

“Fun eh?” little Tom teased, quickly spidering your side to make you giggle again.

“We had fun too if that’s any consolation? Could go for round two if you want,” big Tom said. You looked at him and smiled.

“Not today I don’t think, you guys well and truly broke me,” you said, everyone laughed.

“I think I’ve already decided on the theme for next year,” Robert said. Everyone turned to him.

“Tickle Me Y/N,” he said, “where everyone has to bring a random object to tickle Y/N with. First to make her say stop wins.” He winked at you and you blushed and hid your head in little Tom’s shoulder. He chuckled and stroked your head.

“Now that will be a fun theme,” Mackie replied.

[kaimactrash]

Eyy, okay this group is a little lacking, and it's entirely my fault.I've been pretty oblvious to the asexual identities until a few years ago, and since quite a lot of my characters were made before that, the number of non-allosexual OCs I have are currently small.I don't really love like re-writing characters sexual identiites unless it comes from inspiration, and quite often when making my characters I have a pretty clear idea of their personality and identity, that can change, but i don't like to force it, so instead I look forward to seeing which identities will occur, now I have a better, but still a little shallow, understanding of the aroace identities.

read more for info on characters!

Anyway, here's all my character so far who fall on the spectrum, starting from the top left we have Saulo! They are an elder demon in my story, as are two of the other characters here, because I designed the elders much more recently than the other characters in my story! Saulo is a pan/demi and non-binary, they're a jokey playful little imp who doesn't take their role as an elder too seriously, rarely taking on under demons like hokeys, sucubi, and incubi. Spends a lot of their time making music, reading comics and manga their underlings show them, and looking for their best friend Calo, who's been missing some time. Their extremely into lovey dovey stuff, love core style, so their wand and magic has heart shapes too it. Top right is our second Elder Demon, Delde, she keeps herself far from her fellow elders, married for thousands of years to her life partner, Emesh, a demi-god who you can check my galley for more info on like Calo, she's ace/bi and trans woman!She's a very quiet shy woman still getting used to her physical limiatitions, but having plenty of time to do so, and a loving support system around her. Bottom right is Milo! the 3rd and final elder, hes very bubbly and sometimes intentionally niave, he has a good heart, but he doesn't do enough to oppose his other elders, and participates in the recruitment drive his co-elders push for. Still, he'll chose the right side when it really comes down to it, currently it's easier to coast and not make waves, and a big part of this is his sudden development of diablities, such as losing his hand. he's an ace/omni trans man! Bottom center is one of my older characters, and she was one i really struggled to figure out identity wise, but as I got to know her more and finalised her design and story arc, she felt like an ace lesbian above all else! an absolute unit of a demon, she stirred up so much trouble for elder Rilo she was chuffed, and eventually banished by them. This leads to a lot of fights with large beasts, leaving her scarred physically and mentally. She's partially blind, with only shaows visible in her left eye. She was a much more anthro creature before becoming a demon, being a Cathze, a cat like speices of bipedal humanoids. she also featured on my lesbian pride pic from last year! the design change is intentional, I am always trying to find lotties perfect look, I think this may be it? I feel it has a much more unique look versus the last design. Last but not least left bottom is a character not too old, but who I am obcessed with. :lmao: IDK why but she just give me dopamine whenever I draw her, it's the one eyed fitness nut, Greip Tavros! She's a rather charming woman with a lot of power behind her punch, she loves socialising and gets on really well with most others. She tries her best to know about as many popular topics as possible to make sure she always knows atleast one topic to discuss to help newbies out when joining the rebellion on frenrar. She works constantly on the defence plan agianst both a small group of elders, and from the mages college who are over stepping their jurisdiction and commiting some very unethical acts to ensure a continuing supply of new mages coming. She's aro/pan! Welp, probably a good time to explain where the hell I've been all pride month, since I'm posting my first pride piece, on the 25th of June? Yeah, well, first of is kinda nice news. I've adopted a dog this month and I'm still very much getting my footing with my life balance changing up! And secondly is massive despression and anxiety becuase this started as an awful time to be trans at pride, to an awful time to have a uterus during pride, I can't say I've had a lot of time I've felt safe being proud this month, but i did get a new binder which I'm completely in love with, so thats the only good pride month thing for me so far. Feels like theres been a shadow looming over us this whole time that is rappidly hurtling towards us. Anyway, take care of each other.

[nikirishimura]

Lover, n.

I Forgot That You Existed Pt. 2

pairings: Jake x reader

genre: fluff, slight smut in the latter part

tags: mature themes

masterlist | prev | next

lover, n.  giver.

love, v.  act.

loved (one), n. receiver.

an: thank you for waiting for part 2!! the next few chapters are already being finalized. i think i'm gonna be updating this story once or a couple times a week. stay tuned for the other parts <3

ps. instead of writing it in a third person perspective throughout, i decided i'll be changing it into a y/n perspective from time to time lol.

————————————————————————

I Forgot That You Existed Pt. 2

Yongsan, Seoul. 2025

7:00am

"hello!" Riki greeted Viktor as he held the door open gesturing for her to come in.

"actually, i'm not gonna stay that long. i'm just here to drop these," smiling, she waved the two boxes of what seemed to be cookies and other sweets near the younger's face.

"eyy, just come in for a second," Riki insisted. we all know we can't refuse this guy who's made of sugar and spice and everything nice.

placing the boxes on the dining table, you take a good glance inside their dorm. so this is where Jay lives now. god, this place could use some cleaning. you thought to yourself. Riki sat down and started munching on the goodies intended for the whole group to share.

"by the way, i saw your gaming equipment when we went to your apartment unannounced," stuffing his mouth with food.

"of course you did," you giggled. "what games do you usually play?"

"well, i've been much into Valorant lately. I just started recently, actually."

"yooo, i just started playing last week!" you reached for his hand to do a little handshake, "you should come to my place some time, ask Heeseung and maybe we can play other video games, too."

"oh i'm definitely gonna be using your set up from now on." he forewarned and the both of you started laughing. suddenly, a voice spoke from behind,

"hey, Viktor? it's good to see you here." pressing his fingers down your shoulders imitating a quick massage. his voice was deep and kind of groggy, a bit obvious that he had just woken up. you turn around to see a very handsome man smiling at you.

honestly speaking, who doesn't find men with low voice register attractive??

before you could even respond, the man spoke once again, opening the other box that Riki has yet to touch, "nice! i love these. you brought these for us, Viky? thank you."

an unamused look escaped your face, "good morning to you, too Jake... why, yes, i thought you guys could use some sweetness in your dull life," putting your head in your hand that was resting on the table, you smiled and winked.

"is this how old people flirt? yuck." crossing his eyebrows, Riki was not impressed.

"but seriously, the cookies aren't a big deal. thank you for making me feel welcomed. after all, you guys are gonna be my neighbors for the next couple months." Viktor added.

looking directly at Jake, you then address another concern. "also, if you don't mind, i prefer you call me Viktor, thank you very much." you sassed.

"nah, i think calling you Viky makes me a little different from the rest of the guys, don't you think?" he winked back and started walking away.

that was Riki's cue to excuse himself as well, rolling his eyes at the older people in front of him. before leaving to do his business elsewhere, he leaned down and whispered something in your ear that caught you off guard. "I know Viktor isn't your real name." you chuckled and dismissed him by saying, "i have no idea what you're talking about."

Jay, who just got out of the shower saw the whole exchange making him shake his head and sigh. taking a seat beside you, he grabbed the whole box and started eating his first meal of the day.

"a big birdie told me it's your last day of promotions," you started.

"no way. you talked to my boss?" he smirked at you in disbelief.

"actually, i talked to his secretary. bang si-hyuk has asked to summon me into his building today, do i go? do i ditch him? do i tell him that you guys are living in such messy apartment?" you exaggerate your facial expressions, as if having a monologue on stage.

Jay laughed as he find your acting adorable. "i mean, i know your parents are close but why would he want to meet you all of a sudden?"

"i'm not sure. we'll see." you nonchalantly answered. "well, i gotta go. i still have some appointment to tend to."

"we better get going, as well." Jay stood up, "oh yeah, before i forget. the guys are inviting you to our dinner later. you know, just a small celebration for this comeback."

"tell them i'd be happy to join." you smiled at your best friend. "i'll see you tonight," you got up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. a mischievous tone leaving your lips,"Your friend Jake is cute. is he single?"

Jay, who's already used to your random flirting, clicked his tongue and waved you good bye. "sayonara."

————————————————————————

6:00pm

"knock knock!" you can hear Jake from the other side of the door. you felt like playing with him for a bit, "who's there?"

just complete silence...

"wait, are you waiting for a punchline?" the guy asked.

"yes i am."

and then another minute of quiet.

"c'mon, man. you can't put me on the spot like that." his voice a little weak from the sudden quiz.

laughing, you opened the door to see the tall, familiar man you were trying to flirt with just earlier this morning. he was looking extra fine tonight: with his black silk button down and fitted pants, paired with a nice mid-cut boots with just the right heel size. no, scratch that. he wasn't looking fine. he was undeniably hot.

"how can i date a man with no sense of humor? come on in." you teased him

"ouch? no need to be so mean, Viky" he touched your chin with his index finger, making eye contact as he entered your house.

"i'm here to pick you up," he said with a big smile on his face.

"the party is literally next door." you emphasized and Jake started giggling to himself

"just admit it, you only want us to be alone together." teasing him a little bit more.

"maybe." he said in a suggestive manner.

the tension between the two of you is getting a tad bit excessive. you prentended to be unfazed so you rolled your eyes and walked to your room, "feel yourself at home. i'm just gonna change real quick."

after a good ten minutes of deciding whether or not you really want to impress Jake, you come to terms with the fact that 1) he's already flirting back so there's a good chance he likes you already and 2) what the fuck. just what the fuck are you really trying to accomplish here in the first place??

fuck it. you picked out a tiny white dress, almost too short for your mother's liking, and paired it with your favorite Charles & Keith block heels, finishing the whole look with a bright red lipstick.

"let's go?" you said softly but loud enough to catch Jake's attention. a smirk suddenly evident on his face.

"the fuck is that for?" you remarked, a little weirded out by his reaction.

he took a step closer, almost backing you up into a corner. "you see, just as you were heading upstairs to get ready, i thought to myself, 'does she like me? or does she only like teasing me?' but i can play both games." eyeing your body up and down, he continued, "and then you pull off something like this and now it's starting to get clear that i'm about to lose—whatever it is you're planning." your faces only inches away from each other.

"you're one dangerous woman, Viktor.." eyes and lips taunting you even more.

you wanted to kiss him then and there. but just when you were about to reply, the door swings open and you see Heeseung and Sunghoon shocked and confused.

"i wanted to shout, 'get a room' but then i realized we're the ones invading yours." Heeseung joked trying to make the situation less embarrassing for all of you.

[dragonleesupporter]

The Many Sides of Murder Part I

A/N: Eyy I’m not dead, I promise. I’ve just been smacked around by life a bit. Anyway, this a fanfiction based off of an rp between me and some good homies, shout out to good homies! I’ve been wanting to write this for a very long time.

WARNING: Not for the faint of heart! Also, no t-community stuff in here!

Patton was walking out of the office building after a long day at work. He was exhausted, but he’d have his beautiful rose bush to look forward to when he got home.

            “Rosebud…” He said to himself jokingly, shivering in the cold.

          One of the first to come to work, and one of the last to leave… Patton looked across the vast parking lot and saw his grey, rusty car sitting on the far end.

            Sigh.

            As he continued walking, he heard what sounded like scuffling behind the ginormous square garbage bins to his left. He had gotten used to the noises the critters made at night, working the closing shift. Raccoons, possums, skunks, hell- sometimes the homeless stopped by to check the garbage for valuable items.

          After several moments of listening to the sound, Patton started to pick up on small alterations, like heavy breathing and shushing of sort. Yep, a homeless or drunk. No doubt about it. Suddenly, a shape leaped out in front of him, running in the same direction as his car. Patton froze, his voice caught in his throat. There was no way he could break into-

          “Your efforts are futile.” He heard a monotone voice call out from behind the garbage bins. He then saw what he could only perceive as a living knife launch from the same place the other shape had come from. In mere moments, the man who had started running, was now motionless on the asphalt. The other shape looked down at the body before looking up at Patton.

          Patton’s instincts finally kicked in and he turned tail to run in the opposite direction. Even in the dim light of the widely-spaced street lamps, he could tell he had made direct eye contact with whoever just attacked that other person. The sooner he made himself invisible, the better!

            “The tree line!” He thought to himself. “There! If I can make it there, then maybe- “

 Too late. He felt a harsh shove from behind has he lost his balance mid-stride, falling onto his chest. He then felt a hand grasp his face, some kind of cloth covering his mouth. He took in a deep breath to scream for help, but as soon as he did, his consciousness faded into an almost peaceful oblivion.

 “That was close.” Logan silently scolded himself as he carried Patton on his shoulders back to the body of Orlando. “How could I have let a witness run so far away from the execution site? Utterly useless. I must increase my intake, it seems.”

 He lit the body ablaze and covered his tracks. Every grain of sand out of place was corrected. He was never there. The only thing now was to decide what to do with the witness he had captured. He adjusted his glasses, sighing. It would slow down his current plan, but in order to make it more secure, he would just have to be patient and take the witness into his care. Perhaps he could reason with him, or at least keep him in a place that he wouldn’t cause any trouble.

 …

 Patton woke up in a very awkward position. Both his hands and his ankles were restrained, and he immediately noticed that the hearing on the right side of his head had gone blank.

“N-no… this can’t be real.” He started to feel tears well up in his eyes. “This is just a bad dream… I’m at home safe w-with my rosebush… please, please let it be a dream.”

 “Ah, you’re finally awake.” A chillingly monotone voice sounded from the other side of the room.

 “Wh-what do you want from me?!” Patton blurted out, making an attempt to sound brave and failing somewhat.

 “I don’t want anything from you, good sir… in fact, it’s rather a shame that you had to bear witness to my execution. I do not enjoy this situation any more than you do.” Logan stayed sitting on the opposite side of the room.

 As Patton’s eyes adjusted, he saw a lean, tall figure sat against the few steps that lined the entrance to a hallway just behind him leading into the room. He had milky white skin and clear blue veins running along his arms and legs. Despite the hostility he had seen at his hand, Logan’s face was strangely calm, his eyes grey behind his glasses. The rest of his attire was simply a black suit and pants, fitting his body as tight was possible. No part of his clothing was loose on him. Just as jet black as his attire, his hair was neatly combed back.

 “That being said, I hope we can come to an agreement that benefits both parties.” His grey eyes pierced into Patton’s, reflecting all the apathy the rest of Patton’s left drew to him.

 No one really cared about him… he had no friends… no family other than his brother who hardly visited… no one was coming to save him… he was going to die here.

Logan’s posture stiffened at the sound coming out of Patton.

 “Like heck! I’m not trusting a word you say!” Patton screamed, tears streaming down his face.

 Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I knew this would be an issue… I probably should explain myself…”  

 “No! I am not listening to ANYTHING you have to stay!” Patton’s heart burned with the knowledge that this man could do whatever he wanted to him. He started pulling on his restraints.

 “You know that’s not going to work… I wish I could’ve avoided the restraints, but how else am I supposed to keep her here safely?” Logan got up, slowly walking toward the struggling man before him.

 It was almost hard for Logan to look into his prisoner’s eyes. They were so bright and full of passion and emotion, even behind his contact lenses. His bright blue eyes kindly reflected off of his matching blue t-shirt, also blending well with his worn-out jeans. His bright blonde hair nearly blinded the criminal as he approached, wavy and tangled.

 “Why not just let me go then?! S-stay away from me! Don’t get any closer!” Patton struggled harder as Logan got closer.

 “Calm your nerves, you wiggling worm… I need to ask you a question.” Logan sat down next to the bed Patton was tied to.

“Well, I have nothing better to do. Ask away!” Patton called sarcastically. A small hope inside him told him that if he kept acting tough and hiding just how scared he was, he might be able to find a way out.

 “Is this correct?” Logan held up an ear aid.

 “What do you mean is it correct?” Patton scoffed.

 “Is it the right model? After cleaning up, I realized an ear aid had been knocked out of your head. However, when I found it, it had been broken. I did my best to judge what model it was so I could get another for you. Is this the correct model?” Logan’s monotone voice didn’t help Patton’s mood, however his question did puzzle him.

 “Th-that is the correct model, yes. Why?” Patton looked up at the figure who almost had to look away from his bright cyan blue eyes.

 “Good. I will momentarily untie one of your restraints so you can manually place the ear aid in. As well as take out your contacts. I’m aware they can be painful if you sleep in them.” Logan’s voice changed just a little bit in that moment, and that little bit was all it took.

 “O-okay…” Patton’s body went limp as Logan undid one of his restraints.

 “And no trying to escape, or I’ll knock you out again.” Logan watched him closely as Patton adjusted both his hearing aids and took out his contacts, relaxing significantly from the lack of pain. Afterwards, Logan tied him up again.

“So, are there any bathroom breaks here?” Patton asked sheepishly.

 “Yes. But I’ll only release you if we can gain a mutual sense trust… You see I only restrained you to keep you safe. This is the only place I could keep you from spreading knowledge of my existence. All of these hallways behind me are open to the front door, but they’re all rigged with traps that only I know how to navigate around. This was only set up for defensive measures, but I cannot turn them off now, so they also act a hinderance to your escape. If you were to try and escape, many of those traps would cause you extreme pain, and, in full honesty, I don’t want that.” Logan tapped his chin in thought.

 “Something’s not making sense here.” Patton finally spoke after a long silence. “How come you don’t want to hurt me when you hurt that other person?”

 “That low-life scum can barely be considered a person…” Logan’s voice grew heavy with anger. “Sh-shit!”

 Patton turned to look at his captor to find a surprising sight. Logan, was bent over with a hand firmly pressed to his head. “Damn, it’s wearing off faster!” The criminal rushed over to the opposite side of the room, taking out a syringe.

 Patton watched in horror as Logan plunged the needle into his skin and quickly injected himself, his tenses muscles going lax again. Patton saw, for a brief moment, color in Logan’s eyes before it changed back to the grey he had know for the past fifteen minutes.

 “I apologize for the interruption. But unbeknownst to you, there’s a great difference between you and the man I killed. I would go into detail, but I have an inkling it might disturb you, so until we are better acquainted, I see no reason to explain.” Logan’s posture loosened further. “I should probably start with my name. My name is Logan, and I’ve been on the hunt for a specific group of individuals. The one you saw me take out was one of those individuals.”

 Patton felt odd staring at this man… could even call him that? This THING?

 “Well, my name is Patton, and I’ve been on the hunt for a meaningful life.” He chuckled sadly.

 “What’s funny?” Logan cocked his head.

 “Oh, it was a joke! I like to tell them a lot…”

 “A… joke…” Logan appeared to be lost on what Patton was describing.

 “Yeah. You tell it to people you care about to make them laugh and smile…” Patton looked away from Logan’s eyes, afraid he would become equally apathetic if he continued to stare.

 “And what about searching for a meaningful life is funny?” Logan tapped his chin in thought with a perplexed expression, looking at the ceiling.

 “Oh wait… of course this guy’s not going to understand jokes! He’s a complete psychopath! I need to figure out how to get out of here! He said he would give me access to a bathroom once we gained mutual trust for each other. So, if I pretend to trust him, he might trust me and warrant me access to the bathroom. But the bathroom probably doesn’t have any escape routes. If there isn’t a window or a vent… I might be stuck… unless… he’s lying about the hallways! He must think I’m stupid… if there’s no chance of escape in the bathroom, I’ll abide by his rules until he gets sleepy or needs another one of those needles. Yes! Flawless plan!”

 “I realized that you’re smiling. Is something funny? Did I unknowingly… tell a… joke?” It took Logan a moment to think of the word again.

 “Oh no… I was just thinking about a joke one of my friends told me a couple days ago…” Patton lied.

 “Oh? A memory can make you smile… I forgot that…” Logan looked down at the floor. “Thank you for reminding me.”

 After a few more moments of awkward silence and Patton trying to avoid the gaze of the mad man, his stomach growled loudly.

 “Dammit stomach! This is not the time to be complaining!”

 “Ah, I assumed you would need sustenance before long… luckily I was able to grab some ramen from the store. I know from experience that it’s very filling, if not a little bland in taste. I’ll prepare some…” Logan turned his back to Patton getting a stove heated up.

 “Oh no! I can’t eat anything that monster gives me! It could be poisoned, or laced with something to make me be truthful with him! But if I don’t eat soon, I might start thinking illogically… m-maybe I already am! Dammit, Patton why did you skip your last break last night??”

“To put all doubts to rest, I will also eat from the same brewed pot of ramen… I apologize for the lack of nutrients in this specific dish. But hopefully, if everything goes according to plan, one meal is all you’ll need…” Logan turned around, giving full view of the pot of ramen, stirring it around.

 “Oh Jesus, he’s going to kill me! According to plan?? Only one meal?? That has to be it!”

 “A-and what plan would that be?” The captive muttered nervously, eyeing the noodles like he would a loaded gun.

 “Ah, my apologies. Allow me to explain after I’ve finished undoing your cuffs.” Patton violently flinched away from the criminal as he undid all of his bonds. “Come sit with me, Patton…”

 There was… a hitch in his voice for some reason. Patton couldn’t tell why, but Logan’s perfectly monotone dialogue had broken, just for a second, but he noticed…

 He sat down stiffly on the other side of the pot as Logan poured each half of the brew into their bowls. He took the first bite, fully knowing that Patton wouldn’t eat unless he was certain that the food was safe.

 “Maybe he built up an immunity a poison he put in the brew… ahhh but it smells so good! I can’t get distracted! Think, Patton! Think…”

 Logan continued to eat as Patton played with his food, his thoughts racing. After he had finished the whole bowl, he just sat and stared at Patton, waiting patiently for him to trust the noodles. Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity to Patton, he finally took a bite. He had no way of telling time, but from his judgement, Logan would’ve shown some signs of discomfort if the noodles had been poisoned. It was just a risk he’d have to take, considering, just how badly he needed the food. But he also needed something else.

 “M-may I use the restroom?” He asked, looking away from Logan’s piercing eyes.

 “I suppose I have no reason not to trust you in this moment, and you trusted me enough to eat what I made for you. How about a compromise? My original offer was to free you of your cuffs without feeling the need to restrain you again… while also giving you free access to the bathroom… but since I can’t fully trust you in moments to come, even if I can trust you now, I’ll give you access to the restroom but restrain you afterwards, though I’ll make sure your restraints aren’t as tight this time…” Logan explained, eyeing the bruises on Patton’s hands.

 “O-okay… and where is the bathroom?” He was shaking a little.

 “Just to your left. It’s not the most luxurious, but is serves its purpose.” Logan hadn’t even finished his sentence, before the door to the restroom was slammed shut. “I suppose I should clean up this mess…”

 “Dammit! No windows or vents! This room is an oven!” Patton thought to himself while doing his business. “It certainly isn’t a good restroom, but it’s a clean one… and right now, I’m in no place to complain… these walls are pretty thick, he probably can’t hear what I’m doing… meaning, if I hurry, he might not be prepared for me to make an escape. The longer I wait, the more he’ll expect me to come out. Better make this quick!”

 Patton slowly opened the door and peeked out at Logan, who was occupied washing the dishes they had just eaten from. He had blue eyes again… why did he look so… sad? Patton felt the smallest pang of sympathy for his kidnapper, despite everything. He’d soon need another syringe that made his eyes turn grey again. Some kind of drug. His posture was looser and his normally expressionless face was bent in a look of grief.

 “I- is he shaking?” Patton squinted. He could see long-range distance just fine, but movement was a little hard, but he swore, he could see his captor, shaking in place uncontrollably. Enough, he had to get out of there, NOW.

 Patton dashed for the hallway entrance just next to the kitchen, side closest to him. Logan noticed the movement right away, and try as he might, he couldn’t move fast to block the blonde from what he knew was going to happen.

 “AHHHH!!!” Patton screamed bloody murder as an improvised bear trap snapped around his right leg, dragging him down to the ground. He laid there, whimpering on the ground.

 “You stupid son of a bitch!” Logan ran up to him, quickly carrying him back to the main room. “What made you think I was lying about my traps?? Damn you, I was trying to do something good for once and you had to go and make such a stupid move!” He laid Patton down as he cried openly, unable to take the pain.

 He quickly ripped off the bear trap and started to examine his leg.

 “D-don’t touch me! It hurts! It hurts…” Patton sobbed, unable to move as Logan pressed different parts of his leg.

“Okay, it didn’t break any bones, but your muscle and tissue are severely damaged… I didn’t design that thing to break through bone, but I never tested it before, so that’s a relief… Now all that’s there to do is bandage your poor leg…” Logan quickly wrapped up the wound, adding on several straps of ice to help ease the pain. He then laid Patton back in the bed. “You just made things ten times harder for both you AND me!”

            Patton looked up fearfully to see Logan’s bold, indigo eyes starting back at him, his booming voice scolding him. Yet, strangely enough, Patton felt an odd sense of relief. Logan’s colorful eyes and evidently angry voice gave the criminal emotion. The blonde would rather have his kidnapper yell at him, than stare at him coldly from across the room. Logan then cried out in pain, grabbing his head again.

            “DAMN! This is YOUR fault! Now I’m even having problems with my CURE!” He hurried back to his cabinet to take another syringe, wincing harshly as the drug made its way into his body, before taking a deep exhale, relaxing significantly, as his eyes started to turn back to the void-ish grey that Patton had come to hate.

 “I apologize for my outburst… there will need to be a change of plan due to your foolish refusal to heed my warning about my security system…” Aaaand there’s that awful monotone voice again.

 Just then a figure burst into the room from the hallway, several bruises and scratches on him.

 “EVERYONE FREEZE!” He held up his gun at both Logan and Patton, who put their hands up. It was a police officer!

 As Roman pointed the barrel toward the uninjured suspect, he nearly dropped it.

 “L-Logan…? What happened to you?”

To be continued...

 @imflynn  @boba-and-doughnuts @tottalynotgayatall

[a-lonely-tatertot]

Kam and physical affection

Wow, anon you can't just give me this and expect me to not write an entire fic about it.

Just Keep Holding Me, Cause This Entire Time You’ve Been My Life Line

a/n: This is what I do instead of my school which I am currently behind in I hope you’re happy probably the fastest I've ever written and posted a fic so eyy, also unlocked spoilers

words: 1715

tw: nothing 

The first time it happened was an accident. The brush of knuckles that sent sparks of adrenaline through Tam’s arm. What the heck? he had thought. 

He had watched Keefe for a while now. How careless he was with his touch. He’d give Sophie hugs and friendly forehead kisses when she was tired. Sophie would lean into his touch. Fitz, Keefe would randomly throw over his shoulder when he was getting too uptight, too Vacker-ish. He bounce around till Fitz was giggling and weakly saying “stop stop” between gasps and everyone knew he really didn’t mean it. Biana he’d give piggyback rides, or catch her when she would dramatically pretend to swoon. They would dance around each other for fun, swinging, dipping, something they had done since they were kids and were not above showing off. When Dex was around Keefe’s arm was always around his shoulder, or he was giving cheek kisses and making Dex’s entire face seem on fire. Linh and Keefe would always greet each other with a hug and Linh lifting Keefe up off the ground for a second. Marella and him traded arm punches, fistbumps, high fives, whatever. Even Stina when she was in a good mood he would rest his head on her’s or link his arm through hers and drag her to some shiny thing he saw. Ever since Tam had known him Keefe was touch. But the one person he never touched was Tam, and Tam couldn’t explain how much he ached for it. 

When their knuckles brushed Tam tried to play it off. Tried to ignore the way his stomach flipped the way his arm buzzed. He just wasn’t used to it okay. But later that afternoon it happened again, and Tam caught Keefe’s gaze knowing he knew exactly what he was feeling. 

-

They were researching for the Neverseen and Tam and Keefe had ended up in the same time slot. Keefe was grabbing a book that was high up and was half climbing the bookcase when, as Tam had warned, he fell backward. Keefe grabbed wildly Tam’s arm and Tam gripped Keefe’s shirt. “Didn’t I tell you this would happen?” Tam scolded him when he caught his breath. 

“Yeah well I had to at least try,” Keefe said. Huffing Tam shook his head but didn’t say anything. Slowly he realized how close they were. How he was touching Keefe. How he couldn’t catch his breath because ancients why did Keefe have to look so good dissolved and grinning? He had probably been holding on for too long by then and he was trying to tell himself to let go but it wasn’t happening because Tam wanted the moment to last forever. But Keefe was noticing. “You can let go now Tammy, I’m not gonna fall over again,” Keefe laughed.

So Tam let go, ignoring how much he didn’t want to. They went to get the ladder and he banished the way he felt from his mind.

-

Keefe was out, Tam wasn’t. Everything in him was awake, screaming, replaying Keefe’s twisted face over and over as the shadowflux entered him. He hated every second. Please let him be okay, Tam begged. Please.

He was cradling Keefe’s head in his hands trying not to cry because that’s not what everyone needed. He needed to be strong, to get them out of there. Sophie said something, said she would get Keefe to Elwin, and all Tam could do was nod. And she was running and he was staring at a crime scene where he was the killer. 

-

Keefe was awake. Keefe was awake. And Tam was standing outside of Elwin’s door. To apologize? To see how he was? To make sure there was still some chance that Keefe would want him in his life? Honestly, Tam had no clue but he was here. Elwin answered the door and smiled softly in a way that tore Tam’s insides to pieces with guilt, before calling out to Keefe. Keefe showed up with a pad and paper and a grin that Tam didn’t know why it was directed at him. 

Shady McSilverbangs! Keefe’s messy handwriting wrote. Tam expected him to be mad, to not want to see him, to throw insults at him through paper. Not to greet him with a smile and a new nickname. 

Suddenly it was just the two of them, and suddenly Tam was getting dragged by his hand up stares to Keefe’s room where Keefe only gave him a second to breathe before he was crushing him in a hug. “Hi,” Tam whispered, arms hesitantly wrapping around Keefe. 

“Hi,” Keefe said so softly Tam thought he imagined it. 

“Everyone said I shouldn’t come, but I was just so scared you would hate me I’m so sorry-” Tam was cut off by Keefe squeezing him lightly.

“I don’t hate you. Not even for a second,” Keefe whispered. “I’ve never hated you.” All Tam could do was nod weakly into Keefe’s shoulder. 

They stayed like that for who knows how long until Keefe pulled away to show him around. They talked for hours, sometimes through paper, sometimes just speaking softly. When Tam went to leave finally, and the sun was starting to sink, Elwin came up to him. 

“I’m glad he talked to you, he’s barely talked at all.” Something like pride swelled up in Tam’s heart as he left.

-

It had been ten months. Ten months since Tam had saw Keefe’s face. He didn’t get a letter like Sophie and he honestly tried not to feel hurt but it didn’t work. Ten month’s later, in the middle of a fight with the Neverseen who, once again, trying to capture them he saw Keefe’s face. At first, he thought it was an illusion, maybe he was just too tired from fighting. Or maybe blood loss? He was bleeding. 

“HAHA SUCKERS THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED!” Keefe’s distinct voice shouted from the distance, and Tam couldn’t help but grin as the world seemed to pause in surprise. Someone, probably Fitz or Dex let out a whoop and everything started up again. He was fighting, metal clinks surrounded him, and he could taste copper in his mouth. He pushed and pushed surrounding the figure in front of him in tendrils but there were too many and he was surrounded. 

“Hey Shady looks like you could you some help,” Keefe called. 

“No shit get over here!” Tam called back. They fought on, somehow Keefe had learned to focus his power,  putting the Neverseen around him to sleep. “That’s useful,” Tam noted.

“Yeah. Hey,” Keefe spun around to face him and gripped his arm, “when this is over we need to talk.”

Tam couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach. Apparently, ten months made everything worse, he cleared his throat, “Yes we definitely need to talk, but I think Sophie deserves an explanation more than me.”

“I’ve been sitting on this for ten months I can only wait so long Tam,” Keefe said something unnameable fulling his eyes for just a second, then he was off and something else was stealing Tam’s attention.

-

Everyone made it out alive, and the Neverseen was crippled in the process. So all and all it was one heck of a win for them. When it was all over and the Neverseen had retreated and Tam got himself out of his daze started to search for Keefe. He found Keefe getting dragged by the ear by Elwin who was happy and very very pissed and was making that very clear. 

It took about an hour for Elwin to get done yelling and checking everyone to make sure they were okay. As soon as Elwin said he was good to go Tam found himself getting dragged by Keefe back into the forest where they had fought. “You better not be trying to kill me,” Tam said acutely aware of how Keefe was holding his hand. Keefe let out a chuckle before turning to face him. 

“Uh no actually,” Keefe started and the first thing Tam noticed was that he was nervous. Why the heck was he nervous. “You know the first thing I noticed when I was in the Forbidden Cities? Well, other than the fact that ice cream is absolutely delicious. I noticed I missed you. I missed our banter, and I miss your smile that you do when you think no one is looking. The way you seemed too short circuit every time anyone seemed to show the smallest bit of affection for you. I even missed your bangs,” Keefe chuckled again and rubbed the back of his neck before continuing. “It took a lot of thinking and a new friend to tell me that I actually had a crush on you, which sent me full throttle into a sexuality crisis so that was fun. Apparently, humans have so many names for that stuff? Yeah well um, I guess what I’m saying is that-” he paused and Tam was thrown into a small rabbit hole of panic and wondering what he was saying. “Tam, I really like you, like ten months pinning and realizing I was so stupid leaving you type of I like you. And if you’d let me I’d really like to be your boyfriend.” Tam’s eyes widened as he tried to process everything. Keefe dropped Tam’s hand like it had burned him, “I mean unless I read everything wrong and you don’t feel like that I’m really sorry I shouldn’t have said that I’m going-”

Tam kissed him. Full throttle kissed him, their teeth clacked and his mouth hurt for a second but when Keefe kissed him back it didn’t matter. He grinned into the smile and let Keefe hoist him up and spin him around like some stupid human romance movie that Sophie had showed him. Not even the fact that their friends had seen them and started clapping and whooping and probably trading money could embarrass him. “So is that a yes?” Keefe asked softly when they stopped for a breath and leaned their foreheads together. 

“No,” he said in complete seriousness and watched as Keefe’s eyes widened. “Yes, it’s a yes you idiot!” 

Keefe let out a startled laugh before kissing him again and a new round of shouts rang out.

[sazzafraz]

snippet

eyy chapter two of all it took to unravel

One of their many dates involves a small cafe and a play. Sasuke said he didn’t like plays. That they were trite and prone to wild deviations from the source, which he’d always happened to have read, and that the directors were enamoured with post modern spectacle with no appreciation for the oral traditions that allowed them to make the first Raikage into a balloon for the Fire daimyo to beat. Every narrative choice that did not show the underbelly of women and artists and librarians and crypt keepers was useless to him, abhorrent. Naruto likes plays because he doesn’t have to read. 

It took two extra years to get the hang of it. Reading. On the road he’d mentioned it to Jiraiya over a pot of thin broth. Jiraiya never learnt to cook. He ate ration-broth and dry bread rolls made in fifteen minutes. Jiraiya’s appetite never left his first war. Naruto has an effective enough imagination to put Tsunade and yeah, Orochimaru, around the fire with him sipping boot-flavoured broth and chewing five day old bread. He never quite manages to put the Old Man in, or to see his own team there. Sarutobi ate chilli once, in his kitchen, and belched fire onto the wall. Sakura would never eat anything this nutritionally poor and Kakashi simply didn’t eat. Sasuke, though. Yikes. 

He told Jiraiya he couldn’t really read until he was seven. This took three days to register. At which point Jiraiya put down the scroll he was working on and threw Naruto’s pants at him. Ignoring, of course, that Naruto was hip deep in a river washing the pot that Jiraiya brewed his awful dinners in. 

“What do you mean you couldn’t read?”

“It’s nothing,” Naruto replies, flicking burnt onion with his fingernail. “The writing used to slide around and shit. I got over it.”

“That's not normal.”  

Naruto snorts and finally scratches it off the pot. The black sludge embeds under his nail. 

Jiraiya tests him. Exhaustively. He reads and speaks and reads and feels stupider than he has in a while. It’s nostalgic to feel so puddle-water simple minded. So fucking pointless. But he knows Jiraiya and that he’s a fucking genius and that he’s not gonna knock it off. Naruto adds fish and extra river-greens to his own food, selfishly, later. He should share when they’re out in wilds thin with life. Jiraiya is asleep when Naruto slices the flesh into the still simmering pot.The least Naruto can do for himself is not sleep hungry when he knows tomorrow is another day of feeling useless.

Naruto learns in fits and spurts that he’s weird by everyone's standards. A tactile learner. A kinetic force. Learns that Jiraiya has Uzushio textbooks stuffed in his shirts and that when they’re set down in front of him Naruto finds them as baffling as anything Iruka ever asked. Uzushio is a curse as much as a language. The words don’t slip away from him like Konoha’s but the spirals and lines of basic fuuinjutsu don’t warm to him the way they should. They lie next to each other in a topographical sequence he immediately parses but cannot shift. They want him to look and to read and see them flow. They do not want him to write. 

He says as much to his teacher who growls with frustration. Apparently, fuuinjutsu is responsive and eclectic, it’s unwelcoming to outsiders. It should reject him or welcome him, not simply want to be near him. Naruto saves it up and pukes from crying later, long after Jiraiya grumbles off to a whorehouse furious with them both. Jiraiya doesn’t return for three days. Which is fine, because Naruto has spare fish and can make the fucking broth from memory, but he leaves the scroll open next to his bedroll. The spirals and etches comfort him and he knows they find him pleasing too. He dreams of oceans and narwhals and blood red foxes swimming. It’s nice. 

When Jiraiya returns he begins to teach him rasengan. Naruto forgets about the scroll.

Naruto likes plays because they’re a kind of fuuinjutsu. They’re a physical memory. He doesn’t have to read, he can just watch and be near. They end but they don’t leave. He has exactly as much at the end of the play as he did at the beginning.

[clockwork-fayz]

The Most Perfect Proposal Chapter 5 (FINAL) (GASTINA)

CHAPTER ONE    CHAPTER TWO    CHAPTER THREE   CHAPTER FOUR      AO3

The song in this fic is A Thousand Years By Cristina Perry 

It was the holiday weekend and the Valentes were throwing a party with all of their friends and family to celebrate. It was going to be an afternoon filled with eating, dancing, and music and Nina was looking forward to spending it with her boyfriend and her best friend. However, Nina’s day was not going to go as she had planned it. She knew this from the moment she woke up and her boyfriend was nowhere to be found. 

“Gastón?” she called out, padding around the apartment in her slippers. “Gastón? Are you here?” 

She entered the kitchen to see a large bouquet of flowers on the table waiting for her. Tucked inside them was a note. 

Nina-

Good Morning my love. Today is a special occasion and to celebrate I am sending you on a scavenger hunt. It will take you all over Buenos Aires, so you might want to bring a friend along. Follow the clues and at the end you will find me. 

Love,

Gastón. 

Nina smiled, holding the card to her thrumming heart. Leave it to her boyfriend to create such a fun surprise. She read over the first clue and then called Luna. 

Luna was knocking on the door ten minutes later, looking disheveled from getting ready in five minutes. She wasn’t wearing any jewelry for once, except for the engagement ring that sparkled on her finger. Luna was quite literally bouncing with excitement. 

“Nina, I love scavenger hunts,” she said, a giant grin on her face. Nina laughed. 

“I know Luna, that's why I called you. Will you help me?”

“Of course! Hand me the first clue!  

Nina handed her the card that read “A typical Friday isn’t complete without a trip here.” 

Luna seemed deep in thought. “This could mean so many things.” 

Nina shook her head. “I am almost positive that it means Full City Cofee Roasters. On Friday’s I get up later than Gastón, so I bring him coffee at work.” 

Luna hit her arm. “That must be it! Why are we still waiting here, let’s go!” 

The girls ran out of the apartment and called a cab to take them to the coffee shop. When they arrived, they were surprised to see Simón sitting at a table. Simón waved them over. 

“I have been here for an hour, did it really take you that long to figure out the first clue?” Simón joked. 

“I woke up like twenty minutes ago,” Luna said, giving Simón a hug. “You are part of this plan?” 

“Si, I am part of this plan. I’ve also got this for you.” He handed Nina a note. Nina read it, smiling softly at the words. 

Nina-

The highlight of my work week is when you bring me coffee. I know that I can always count on you to make stressful days easier. I had Simón order your breakfast, so I hope you are hungry. Enjoy mi amor. 

Sure enough, the waitress brought out tea and muffins for the trio followed by strawberry crepes which happened to be Nina’s favorite. 

“Simón,” Nina asked, swallowing a piece of her breakfast, “What is Gastón planning?”

“I-”

“No!” interrupted Luna, “Nina this clearly is a surprise, Simón, tell her nothing!” 

“Wasn’t going to,” Simón playfully shoved her, “I can’t tell you anything Nina. Gastón has me sworn to secrecy!” 

Nina sighed, but knew that she wasn’t going to get anything out of Simón. Although she knew she was going to like the surprise, she wished she had some sort of hint. 

 After breakfast was finished, Simón got up. 

“Well chicas, I am needed elsewhere.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. “Here is your next clue Nina.” 

Nina gave Simón a hug. “Thank you, Simón . We will see you later, at the party?” 

“Absolutely,” Simón said, and took his leave. 

Nina turned the card over in her hands to read her boyfriend’s writing. 

Where we had our first dance.

Luna wrinkled her nose. “Your first dance? Where would that even be? How are you supposed to remember that?”

“No Luna, remember when I danced with him as FelicityforNow in your bedroom? Do you think he means that?” 

Luna gasped. “You are right! Do you really think it’s in my bedroom at the mansion?” 

Nina nodded. “It seems like it would be.”

Luna grabbed her arm. “To the mansion!” 

When they pulled up in front of the mansion, the girls hopped out and didn’t even stop to say hello to anyone as they ran up the stairs to Luna’s old bedroom. They walked into Monica sitting on the bed, smiling at the girls. Luna let out a loud laugh.

“Hola girls, I see you solved the second clue,” Monica said, standing up. 

“You are part of this Monica?” Nina asked. 

“Si, and I have this for you Nina.” 

She handed over the second note. 

Even though I couldn’t see you, I knew that you were the love of my life. I couldn’t fall asleep that night when I got home because all I could think of was your touch as we danced. As Felicity, it felt as if you were writing directly to my heart. I still feel that when I read your writing. I love dancing with you, mi amor. 

Nina sighed and handed it to Luna to read. 

“And I have a gift for you too,” Monica said, walking over to the closet. She pulled out a white sundress. Nina put her hand over her mouth.

“What?” 

“You better put it on,” Monica said, handing it to her, “And Luna you better change into something different, we are having a party today.  Did you even brush your hair this morning?”

Luna's face showed her guilt as she went to the closet and found something more suitable to wear. 

“And I’ll help with your makeup,” a voice said, coming from the hallway. Nina turned to see Ambár standing in the doorway, with her makeup bag in hand. Ambár smiled at Nina, and then looked over at Luna and sighed. “I suppose I’ll help you too. Luna wrapped an arm around Ambár’s shoulder. “Gracias prima. This is so exciting!” 

After an hour, Nina was wearing the new dress and some sandals. The girls walked down the stairs to Monica and Miguel smiling at them. 

“You look beautiful, Nina,” Miguel said. “And Luna and Ambár.”

Luna snorted. “Thanks papa.”

Monica held out the third clue. “We will see you soon girls.”

“Want to come Ambár?” Nina asked, taking the clue from Monique’s hand. 

Ambár shook her head. “I am needed here I think. But good luck.”

Nina turned over the third clue and read it aloud to Luna. 

Where I found out the two girls I had crushes on were actually the same person. 

The girls looked at each and said in unison:

“Jam and Roller!” 

…………….

When they entered the Jam and Roller, the girls made a beeline to the stage where Nina had performed all those years ago and revealed that she was actually FelicityforNow. Pedro was up on stage, messing around with the drums. When he saw them enter, he stopped and shouted.

“Eyy! You found me! I am clue number three!”

Nina laughed. “Hola Pedro, do you have a note for me?”

“I do, it’s-” Pedro started to pat down his pockets. “Hold on, it's somewhere here. Ah! Found it!”

He handed Nina a slightly crumpled note. It read:

I remember the feeling I had when you sang that day and pulled off your wig. It felt like my heart had exploded. You and Felicity were the same person! I felt so stupid for not realizing it earlier. We’ve had a lot of great moments on this stage. I love singing with you mi amor. 

The lights went dim and a video started to play on the screen on the stage. It was the video of Gastón and Nina’s performance at Open Music. It wasn’t the last time they would sing together, but it was definitely one of Nina’s favorite moments. Tears came to her eyes as she watched their younger selves singing on stage, so in love even then. 

When the video was over, Nina saw that Luna was crying as well. 

“You guys were such goals,” Luna sighed, wiping a tear from her eye. “Pedro! Where is our next clue?!?” 

Pedro came out from the counter holding a card. “Relax, I have it right here! I hope you enjoyed that blast from the past.” 

Luna ripped the clue out his hand. “Nina, read it read it read it!”

Nina eyed her best friend. “You seem to be a little too excited, Luna.”

“I can’t wait to see where it leads, please Nina read it!”

Nina read aloud the next clue. 

Our first kiss. 

Luna’s mouth fell open. “Well dang. Do you remember that? It was so long ago.”

“Si, claro. Don’t you remember you and Matteo’s?”

“Si it was on the rooftop after The Roller Band performed.”

  “No, Luna it wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t?”

“The skating competition?” 

Luna’s eyes grew wide in remembrance and then she shook her head. “That doesn’t count, it was for show. But still, don’t tell Matteo that. Let’s go to the next place!”

Nina led Luna outside to the fountain where Gastón and Nina had first kissed. They saw Ramiro skating around it, performing tricks. 

“Ramiro!” Luna shouted, and waved him down.

“Hey chicas,” he said, skating up to them. “What’s up?”

Luna and Nina exchanged glances. “Do you have something for us?”

Ramiro raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

Nina’s face turned red, “Nevermind, sorry to bother you.”

Ramiro grabbed her arm, laughing. “I’m kidding. Here is a note from Gastón.” 

Nina unfolded it and Luna read it over her shoulder. 

I should have kissed you as soon as I found out you were Felicity. I should have ran on that stage and professed my love for you. But it’s okay, because eventually I did which led us here, and I kissed you for the first time. I loved you so much Nina, but then I let you go. And it was the biggest regret of my life. 

The note ended, leaving Nina confused. “Is there not another page?” she asked Ramiro. 

“No, just the last clue.” He pulled out the card and handed it to Nina. On it was one short line. 

Where I corrected my mistake. 

Nina looked at Luna. “This is the last clue.”

Luna squealed. “So this is where Gastón is going to be waiting!”

“Oh and I have this for you too,” Ramiro said, skating over to his bag. He pulled out some headphones connected to what looked like Gastón’s phone. “You are to listen to this as you are walking to the final place.” Ramiro put the headphones on Nina and smiled as he hit play. 

The sound of a piano filled her head and soon Gastón’s voice could be heard. Luna was dying to know what Nina was hearing, but silently walked by her side as they headed through the park. 

Prometer

Nunca te olvidaré 

Como vencer, como

Amarte sin caer por tí

Te miro y puedo decir

Mis dudas se van 

Alguna manera

Ya no están 

Te acercaste…

Nina was not even paying attention to where they were walking, hoping Luna knew the way. She was completely engrossed in the sound of her boyfriend singing to her, for her. 

Podría morir

Y esperarte una vida

No tengas miedo a sentir

Te amaría por mil años más

 amarte por mil años más

As the song came to an end, Nina noticed they were coming to the river, where Nina would read to Gastón and where Nina and Gastón had gotten back together after five long years apart. Matteo was standing in front of them. Luna ran to embrace him, him laughing as he kissed her cheek.

Nina took the headphones out her ears. 

“Matteo, what are you doing here?” Nina asked looking around for Gastón but not seeing him. 

“I am here for this,” Matteo took the phone out of Nina’s hands.

 “And for you,” he continued, facing Luna and grabbing her hand. “Come Luna, Nina needs to go ahead alone.”

“Que?” Luna asked, “I can’t go with her?”

Matteo laughed at Luna’s pouting face. “No, I’m afraid not. This is just for Nina.”

“But I was doing so well,” Luna grumbled. Matteo kissed her head. 

“Will it make you feel better if I make you a scavenger hunt sometime? That leads to chocolate?”

Luna brightened up, letting go of Matteo’s hand so she could hug Nina.

“Good luck Nina, promise to tell me everything at the party later?” 

“Sí, claro,” Nina replied, letting her go. She waved goodbye as Luna and Matteo walked in the opposite direction. Not much farther she could see the bench that was her and Gastón’s favorite spot. Waiting in front of it was Gastón. 

He was dressed in a suit, pacing back and forth in front of the bench. When he saw Nina walking towards him, he lit up and stopped. She wrapped her arms around him, kissing his lips softly. 

“Thank you for the scavenger hunt Gastón, and the lovely presents,” she said, holding him. “The dress and the song and the video, it was so wonderful.”

“I’m glad you liked them. I have one last thing for you.”

She pulled back and he took her hands in his. She had always liked how her hands seemed to fit perfectly inside of his. 

“Nina. I have loved you since we were in school. You were my dream girl. Smart, funny, and caring not to mention so breathtakingly beautiful, inside and out. I can’t believe that I ever let you go.”

“But you have me now,” Nina reminded him.

“I do, and I never want to make that same mistake again. I want to make sure that you are there every morning with me. I want you to always be there to dance with me and to sing with me and go to movies and read to me aloud when I am sick. I want to be at your side when you win a Nobel Peace Prize in writing. Nina, I want to be your husband.”

Gastón knelt on one knee. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet box.

“Nina, will you marry me?”

Nina was at a loss of words. All she could do was nod, shaking as Gastón slipped the ring with its large diamond in the middle with little diamonds clustered around it. It glinted as it settled perfectly on her fingers. He stood up and Nina wrapped her arms around his neck, crying as she held him. He kissed her, whispering I love you over and over in between the kisses. When they finally left the park, Nina was still shaking. She hadn’t imagined that she would get engaged today. 

They entered the backyard of the mansion to an eruption of cheers. Everyone seemed to know now that Gastón had proposed to Nina. Luna ran up to her, tackling her in a hug. Nina was a little overwhelmed by the attention thrust upon them, but was smiling the whole time. 

“Congratulations Nina!” Luna exclaimed, not letting go of her friend. “I couldn’t believe it when Matteo told me!” 

“I can’t believe it either,” Nina replied.

Luna gasped and looked at her friend. “We can go wedding dress shopping together!”

Nina laughed. “Sí, we can plan together.”

“And what about me?” Ambár said, approaching them, “Can’t I be a part of this planning party?”

“Of course Ambár,” Nina said, giving Ambár a hug as well. 

Luna joined in, squeezing her way in between the both of them. 

“A triple wedding?” she asked. 

Ambár’s face paled. Luna laughed.

“I’m kidding, but it will be fun planning three different weddings!”

Looking on drinking flutes of champagne were the grooms to be: Simón, Matteo, and Gastón. 

“Well lads, I think we did well,” Matteo said, watching the girls.

“Agreed,” Gastón said, “And I am very happy with how everything turned out. I couldn’t have done it without you two, thank you.”

Simón patted him on the shoulder. “Of course. Now, mis amigos, we can celebrate.” He held up his champagne glass. 

“To our three beautiful fiances!”

[annecoulmanross]

Thoughts on “Terror of the Arctic” (2005), aka, “I listened to the Doctor Who audio drama episodes about the lost Franklin Expedition so that you don’t have to!”

Alright terror-friends, this was not how I expected to spend my day, but I have now listened to all eight episodes of the 2005 Doctor Who Audio Drama series “Terror of the Arctic,” featuring all of the ~ familiar ~ icy ~ boys ~ meeting the infamous Doctor. 

With arguably more horrifying sexist/racist content than the 2007 Simmons novel, this audio drama actually predicted a lot of the tropes that Simmons popularized, including ship-board conflicts that escalate to stabbings, the appearance of supernatural creatures from Inuit oral traditions, and even a squick-y romance between Crozier and a much younger Inuit woman. 

To clarify, I do not recommend you listen to these episodes. They’re a hot mess, and a really jarring departure from the beauty of The Terror (2018). 

HOWEVER I highly recommend you look below the cut for episode-by-episode notes about the first Franklin Expedition adaptation that has well and truly driven me up the wall. So, welcome to the world of “Terror of the Arctic” (2005), featuring:

Crozier, (pronounced "Crow-zee-eyy,”) a polite door-mat of a captain with an agonizing lack of snark and minimal personality beyond “the only white man who can magically fix racism.” 

Fitzjames the “proper English officer” who has every prejudice you can imagine – and a couple more you can’t. 

Le Vesconte, the irrepressible lad with an inexplicable American accent and extreme boy-scout-gone-crazy energy. 

Sgt. Tozer, who has a bad habit of punching people in the face even though his superior officers haven’t yet told him he’s allowed to do so. 

Also featuring: Cybernetic Tuunbaq aliens! Complete breakdown of shipboard protocol! Expected amounts of cannibalism! And more! (spoilers, obviously) 

Episode 1

– We start with a mandatory brief appearance from the Doctor and his companion Christine. I don’t (initially) hate this iteration of the Doctor – he’s very paternalistic and old-fashioned, but at least the voice actor’s competent. Christine’s voice, tragically, is high-pitched beyond all reason and laced with a variety of odd dialectical features. Some quick research reveals she’s supposed to be a 15 year old from medieval England. She sounds neither like a teenager nor a medieval person. From the very beginning, her character seems very infantilized, and plays into a lot of the Born Sexy Yesterday tropes, even if she and the Doctor aren’t a thing. 

– Next, we have Sir John Franklin giving the “we’ve been stuck in the ice for nine months, here’s what you missed” sum-up. 

– Sir John’s voice is gravelly 👏 as 👏 fuck; also, I don’t think that the phrase “to sugar-coat it” was a common 1840s expression? Correct me if I’m wrong history folks.

�� Crozier shows up to give his “we should start walking out now” speech, minus any passion or conviction whatsoever; he bends immediately to Franklin’s whims. Crozier’s voice is quite high-pitched, and Sir John pronounces his name “Crow-zee-eyy.” (Update: everyone pronounces it this way!!! Uhmmm!) Though I struggle to judge accents, Crozier’s Irish accent sounds... leprechaun-ish. It’s not Jared Harris by a long mile. 

– Not gonna lie, I kind of love how much Fitzjames sounds like a posh bastard. He immediately gets into a one-sided shouting match with Crozier and has to be reprimanded by Franklin. 

– Lieutenant Irving appears on the scene; I don’t know what Irving’s accent is, but it sure is something.

– All of the officers seem to currently be on the same ship for some reason but I don’t know why. We’ve met Sir John, Crozier, Fitzy, and Irving, and Gore’s been mentioned, as have doctors Peddie and Stanley. And they’re all in the same boat. Guess we’re just ignoring Terror for now? 

– Franklin begins narrating as he writes in the log-book: “11th June, 1847.” Oh BOY guess what day it is!!

– RIP Franklin (surprise, surprise). We have no real idea yet how this has happened. 

– Fitzjames, talking to Sir John’s mysterious corpse: “Captain, what could have done this to you?” 

– Fitzjames: “We have a killer loose on this ship” (Fitz gets ALL the best lines, apparently. Do they make sense? No. Are they hilarious? Yes.)

– Irving is shockingly nonchalant when the Doctor and Christine appear from nowhere out on the ice. Why is Irving so chill when he thinks that these two people are the lone survivors of a DIFFERENT failed expedition?

– Fitz apparently has refused to let Crozier start the walk-out after Franklin died. (Um, that’s not how the chain of command works?)  

– We learn that Beechey-boy Braine apparently died of sudden-onset-scurvy. What is sudden-onset-scurvy, you ask? We do not yet know. 

– Irving, happily describing their recent course of action: “...Ignoring the advice of our ships’ ice masters...” Oh god Irving don’t sound so happy about that. Blanky’s going to take an ice-axe to your head. (Tragically, Blanky does not appear in this show.) 

– Lieutenant Gore has ALSO died of sudden-onset-scurvy. RIP Graham Gore.

– Is the Doctor going to focus on the existence of sudden-onset-scurvy? No, we’re gonna hyperfixate on the high officers-to-crew death rate! And he’s going to infodump about officers’ privileges TO Irving, an officer, and muse about how odd it is that more officers than crew are dying when the officers get all the best food! 

– Fitz, the “proper English officer” apparently has managed to get about half the men to refuse to follow the orders of their expedition commander, because he happens to be Irish. Babe, this is a really bad look!

– Irving, our good Christian Irving, just swore “By Jove” in a weirdly sexy voice.

– Tozer has Extreme Deep Voice.

– Irving: “There’s something odd about them I just don’t trust.” Why on earth wouldn’t you trust two strangers who wandered up to you on the ice and asked if you were “human,” John Irving? What’s “odd” about that?

– The Doctor only remembers that he does actually know the events of the Franklin expedition after he reads the entire Victory Point Note. 

– Irving has suddenly decided to threaten to shoot the Doctor and his companion. Irving promptly gets attacked. 

* jarring transition to triumphant Doctor Who music *

Episode 2

– The ~mysterious~ attack on Irving has left weird wounds on Irving’s neck. I’m calling it, Ice Vampires!

– We have an Edward Little appearance! His voice is so sweet and gentle! And then... “I’ll have Sergeant Tozer shoot you both where you stand!” Okay, maybe not... (Update: Little is, in fact, very awful to several people. As we will see, all of the lieutenants and marines swing between weirdly nonchalant dudes and trigger-happy maniacs.) 

– Tozer just punched the Doctor’s lights out, unprompted. 

– Crozier: “Good old John Peddie... he’s like a brother to me.” Well THAT’S not a friendship I expected.

– So Dr. Peddie has brought a young Inuit woman in to Crozier’s cabin to have a “lovely chat.” Awkward book!Crozier/Silna energies. The woman’s name is Liak. She speaks with a vaguely Spanish and/or Italian accent. 

– Liak: “I have been with my tribe. They would not allow me to come back to see you.” /  Crozier: “Why? It’s not because of Fitzjames is it?” 

– (It’s not because of Fitzjames. It’s because of evil spirits, obviously.)

– The Doctor, once they get back to the ships, explaining to the higher officers what’s happened: “Mr. Tozer got all excited and could no longer restrain his Neanderthal-like impulse to start clubbing things.” Boy this by show is NOT for Tozer fans. (Note: Tozer is standing right there? In the room? When the Doctor says this?)

– The Doctor just dropped an f-bomb?????????? And not as an expression of shock, but a hard-core sexual use of the f-bomb. Literally, he said “you can let Tozer fuck me again” – did I mishear this????????????

– Irving’s dying words: “I was attacked by a large silver creature with claws!” Wait did Dan Simmons rip off a fan-made 2005 Doctor Who Audio Drama?

– RIP Irving, first confirmed victim of “Tuunbaq the First.”

– Fitzjames is SO racist, throwing around a lot of “savage” and “barbarian” words. Why are you letting this man walk all over you, Crozier?

– Crozier: the first person who has the correct reaction to two weirdos appearing on his boat (aka shock and surprise, rather than worrying nonchalance followed by unprompted extreme aggression.)

– Fitzjames literally laughed after being informed that Irving is dead. (Like Crozier’s bad Raft of the Medusa joke, but SO MUCH WORSE.) 

– RIP Ice Master Reid, actual first confirmed kill of “Tuunbaq pre-Tuunbaq,” several weeks ago, apparently??

– Okay so Fitz here is obviously meant to be a horrible person, but I have to acknowledge that he’s making a few good points: (1) the Doctor has admitted that he has a “sailable” ship, and it’s pretty rude of him to not even explain why he’s unwilling to help these dying men, and (2) it’s been bothering me the whole episode that the Doctor hasn’t been calling officers by their titles, and frankly, I do think Fitz is within his rights to demand the Doctor call him “Captain Fitzjames” rather than “Mr. Fitzjames” on Fitz’s own ship. Like, it’s not that hard.

– The Doctor’s first example of “ways the Franklin crew could mess up the time stream” is the insane scenario: “what if one of them married the mother of Winston Churchill.”

– The “Tuunbaq: The Prequel” can talk!!!!!! “Hello meat!!!” it says, gleefully. 

– Tozer is just the fucking most. He punched the Doctor AGAIN.

– Crozier just “Mr. Fitzjames”ed Fitz!! And Fitz backed down! Crozier finally grew a spine! Just in time to decide to commandeer the Doctor’s ship. 

– The Doctor’s ship inevitably disappears before it can be commandeered. Because of course. (Things and people disappear and get transported to different places and later times all through these episodes for timey~wimey~reasons.) 

Episode 3

– A conversation between the two named female characters (Liak and the Doctor’s companion Christine)! What will they talk about? ...Their dead fathers. Ah. Hmm.

– This show is not sophisticated enough to handle a “white man’s disease killed my father” subplot. And yet, Liak’s father died of TB he contracted from the white men. I’m *worried*

– To help Liak overcome the superstitious antagonism of her “tribe” after her father’s death, Crozier apparently gave a bunch of food to the Inuit, which is  an... interesting take. (One Irishman’s grand gesture fixes racism!)

– Magical Inuit shaman powers are only inherited through the male line (The racism and sexism in this is palpable.)

– So “Tuunbag Episode I: Revenge of the the Tuunbaq” is actually a larger coalition of aliens, run by a being called “Matriarx.” Can we decide whether woman are powerless victims or power-hungry monsters, please? Both is just greedy.

– RIP Strong (another tragic case of the triple threat: sudden onset scurvy, lead poisoning, AND Tuunbaq attack)

– Wait WAIT the Tuunbaq gave Strong the lead poisoning AND the scurvy by biting his neck and sucking his blood, stealing nutrients and leaving lead in their place: Ice Vampires!! I called it!!!

– Groups of people Fitz has verbally degraded: the Irish, the Inuit, all women, and now “common folk.”

Episode 4

– Le Vesconte’s first lines! He sounds like a Boy Scout, by which I mean he sounds about 16, and has an American accent? Also, Fitz pronounces his name “Leh-vay-cont” 

– An AB named “Seeley” is writing an account of the events that are happening, perhaps as this show’s version of Bridgens and/or Peglar? Also Fitz is REALLY opposed to Seeley writing this, because Fitz hates “common folk” that much, apparently? 

– RIP Seeley, we hardly knew ye. 

– Major episode events: the walk-out begins, leaving Terror and Erebus just as the boats slip into another dimension because of alien reasons (this didn’t age well, now that we have the shipwrecks). Also, there’s an Inuit woman who is in league with the cybernetic-alien-Tuunbaq-vampires. 

Episode 5

– As soon as the walk-out begins, the cybernetic-alien-Tuunbaq-vampires begin attacking. 

– Boy Scout Le Vesconte: “I have an idea! If bullets won’t stop them maybe an axe will!” I mean, this is stupid enough for our Dundy, but he follows it up with “Murderers! I’ll hack you to pieces!” and rushes them like a child and has to be rescued. (Also Crozier is way WAY more concerned for Le Vesconte than Fitz is, though Fitz leaps into the rescue effort and Crozier... does not do that. He’s doing a lot of standing on the sidelines and bemoaning his dying men.)

– Peddie is basically just Crozier’s all-purpose lieutenant at this point. Little and Hodgson whomst? 

– Le Vesconte, Fitz, and Tozer get struck by lightning WHILE fighting the Tuunbaq, and some Frankenstein stuff seems to happen, because Fitz now has the munchies. But like, the ominous munchies. 

– Le Vesconte’s in something like a coma. The dumb boy-scout. 

– While explaining why the Netsilik have legends about these aliens as “evil spirits,” the Doctor implies that errors in the historical record happen “especially” in oral traditions. Can we stop insulting the Inuit oral historians please?  

– The cybernetic-vampire-aliens can mind-control their victims sometimes. Calling it now: Fitzjames is under the mind-control already. 

– Liak is revealed to possibly be in cahoots with the aliens, because she has a necklace that her sister gave her that’s actually an alien tracker. 

– Fitzjames, upon learning that Liak may be in league with aliens, attempts to physically kill her with his bare hands, and has to be restrained. 

– Crozier hears murmurs about mutiny, and assigns this poor Marine named Hopcraft to find out more about the mutiny and report back to him. Next morning: RIP Hopcraft, first victim of the “we’re knifing each other” stage of events (aka this show’s Irving.)

Episode 6

– Lieutenant Little, who got separated from Fitzjames and Crozier, tries to comfort ship’s boy Chambers, whose use of the term “panic attacks” is a little anachronistic; a small gripe in the grand scheme of things.

– The Tuunbaq-aliens attack Little’s camp and wipe them all out, leaving Little to the last. Edward Little, a British Christian naval officer in the 1840s, gasps out “I’ll see you in Hades” as his dying words. (Someone write me Little/Irving neo-pagan fanfic for this mess?)

– The Doctor is playing detective, trying to solve Hopcraft’s death. He finds footprints, and both Liak and Tozer are missing. 

– The Doctor calls attention to Tozer’s “enormous feet.” Weird.

– We have our first cannibalism! Perpetrated by Tozer, and uhhhh oh great we’re eating Dr. MacDonald for dinner tonight.

– Le Vesconte woke up from his coma just in time to brain Tozer to death.

– The Doctor: “There were no women’s bones at any of the sites [of the lost expedition remains]” that’s a hilarious comment given that one study suggesting as many as four female skeletons.

– RIP Le Vesconte, from his wounds, offscreen!! Nooo!!

– Tozer (and Fitzjames, and a few others), because they all got struck by the lightning, now have Frankenstein’s cannibalism curse. They all hunger for human flesh.

– Fitzjames is now a sneaky murderer-cannibal who manages to gain Crozier’s trust before turning around and trying to butcher him. As least my evil boy is smart? 

Episode 7

– The big bad reveal: it’s Liak’s secret evil sister! (Just like Season 4 of Sherlock!) She’s been helping the Tuunbaq-aliens the whole time because she hates white men! Because they gave her dad TB and one of them broke her heart! Thanks, it’s bad! 

– The Tuunbaq-aliens eat Liak’s sister anyway because they do not care. 

– Liak, Crozier, the Doctor, and Christine are left to defeat the Tuunbaq-aliens. 

– Fitz feels a little bad about eating people I guess? Also Fitz is “weak” and can’t resist his hunger and all those fun tropes.

Episode 8

– Fitzjames gets a redemption arc via heroic self-sacrifice narrative, complete with death via horrid gurgling. “He sacrificed himself in a last act of humanity.”

– The Doctor agrees to give Crozier a lift to somewhere a bit further south, on the assumption that Crozier will settle down with Liak and live with some “tribe” of other Inuit people that neither of them have ever met. 

– There’s a parting joke about Crozier enjoying drinking wine that did NOT age well.

And that’s all, folks! Hope you... enjoyed? 

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Wanted to write my oc a bit so some gay rambling to their low-key therapist under the cut

[[MORE]]

"You seem like you doing better since last we spoke. Brighter. Happier maybe?"

The troll smiled in kind as her words brought a wry grin to Sunny's lips, cigar smoke puffing out as they snorted.

"Man, there's a loaded compliment if ever I heard it. You tryin' to say I looked miserable before?"

Jak'an'we shook her head, rolling her eyes. "No, but I wouldn't call you happy either, eh? Is a good thing. Take it."

Sunny opened their mouth to retort, but hesitated, then sighed softly and nodded back. "Yeah. A'right. I do feel better. Better'n I have in a long time, truth be told." They pause before adding "...been seeing someone. Not new exactly, but...well. wasn't expectin'it to go nowhere and now..." they open their arms in a shrug but the smile never leaves their face.

"Mmm..." Jak humms, looking out at the water. "You seem...how to say? Surer in you own skin. This girl, she help?" There was a slight teasing note in her words; of course it had to be a pretty girl.

To her surprise, Sunny doesn't respond for a long moment, and then, in a low, soft voice "I think I love her, Jak."

She wasn't sure how to respond. Sunny had been coming to her for a few months now, their talks somewhere between therapy and simply needing a friend. But while progress had been made, the half-elf was not one for vulnerability. Such a statement was...loaded, to say the least. "And...this scares you?"

They nodded sharply, not making eye contact and taking another long drag on their cigar. There's a heavy silence as Jak waits, expectantly. She knows well enough that too much poking would shut them down again. "Haven't told her," they finally murmur "Feels...i dunno. Too soon? Too much?" They wave their hand vaguely, the smile from before lapsing into a brooding frown. "I don't...im scared to lose her."

"You been hurt before." Jak nods understandingly.

"I been here before," they chuckle bitterly, "last girl I told I loved her. I was so fuckin' sure, Jak? Figured we could make it last. An' she drops me barely a month later. She don't like who she is with me, she worries too much about me, all that shite..." they sigh heavily. "Just...worry im not built for love, yeah? For commitin' to someone like that. I'll just...ill end up hurtin' her."

Jak listens quietly, her lips pursed. When Sunny finishes, she inhales sharply "Well. I can tell you you a moron."

Sunny snorts "True, but that your professional opinion?"

"Sunny." She cross her arms, pausing a moment to find the words. "I know. I been in similar places, believe it or not. Specially bein' what I am. Trolls don' be liking half-breeds, many don' be likin' them thst change their bodies." She pauses, stroking a finger along a tusk thoughtfully "But you want my wisdom? Folks that do that, that hurt you. They ain't deservin' what you got to give. An' you do have somethin' to give. This girl, you think she stick around a moper like you if she don't see something she like?"

Sunny snorts again, rolling their eyes "amazing pep talk Jak, as always. Sure, sure, I...maybe? I dunno. I dont know what she sees. I'm...i ain't nothin' special."

They grunt in surprise as the much larger troll gives them a light shove "Eyy! None of that now! What we talk about?"

They groan, responding in a sing-song parrot of her words "Just because I dont like what I see in myself, don't mean others don't neither."

"Right. You want my advice? You go to this girl. You tell her you love her. You tell her you scared. An' you see how she respond." She nods firmly "She hesitate, she push away? She ain't worth your time. You wounded, but you heal. But if she listens, well. Then you just opened up to her an' you both be stronger than ever."

She reaches out, squeezing Sunny's shoulder gently "I know what this mean to you. But you strong. You stronger than I ever seen you. You be needin' someone else, I think. An' maybe this girl be it."

Another pause, then a slow, reluctant nod. "I'll...I'll try. Thanks, Jak."

[bots-and-cons]

eyy~ how about ultra Magnus and shockwave having a crush on the same human and just fighting for their affection.

This was kinda hard to write since one is an autobot and one is a decepticon. But let’s say the reader was with the decepticons first and is like Shockwave’s crush and they are quite close, and then they were “saved” by the autobots and became friends with Magnus who then developed a crush on them. Instead of Magnus fighting Predaking after the lab explodes, I made it so he and Shockwave fight.

“Hey Shockwave, what’s with the ruckus going on outside?” you asked while walking around the lab table.

“Apparently the autobots have invaded the ship yet again” he said, sounding like he didn’t particularly care.

“What do they want now?” you wondered.

“That is a good question”

You continued to walk back and forth on the table, while Shockwave proceeded with his experiments. The noises seemed to keep getting closer, until they were right outside the door.

“Get back” he ordered as the door opened.

You ran to the back corner of the table, next to the wall.

“Where is the human Shockwave? We are only here for them” you heard Ultra Magnus ask.

You were familiar with the autobots through the archive Soundwave kept on the computers, so you had heard their voices and knew what they looked like. You ran next to Shockwave, if you could stop him from getting hurt you would gladly go with the autobots.

“I’m here!” you yelled defiantly.

“I told you to get back”

“But they’re gonna hurt you” you argued.

While you and Shockwave were busy arguing, Magnus and the others just stared. None of them had expected you to be so… relaxed with the cons. The fact still remained that you didn’t belong there, and you would be better off with the autobots.

“Magnus, we need to go before Megatron comes!” Arcee yelled.

That caught Shockwave’s attention. He loaded his blaster and was ready to shoot, only to be hit in the face by Magnus, who knocked him down and grabbed you.

“I’ll be back soon!” you yelled as you were hauled off by the autobots.

When the bots finally got to their base, -after fighting their way out of the decepticon ship and almost getting you killed, mind you- you were set down on the floor and released.

“So what now? Hmmm? Any grand plans for me? Cause you ain’t getting any information out of me”

“We just rescued you, how about a little thanks?” Arcee asked.

“I didn’t need rescuing, thank you very much”

“The fact still stands that the decepticons despise humans, and you would not have been safe with them” Magnus said.

“Well, Magnus, they don’t despise me, I’m their friend, and yeah maybe Megatron might want to step on me sometimes, but I don’t like him either so I just keep away from him”

“Sounds like a great friend to me” Arcee scoffed.

“Shockwave is my friend and you hurt him, so don’t expect any niceness from me” you hissed.

You were stuck at the base for days, and on top of that, the one who was assigned to be your guardian was no other than Ultra Magnus himself. You didn’t talk to him at all for the first two days, which he didn’t seem to mind at all. You had become fast friends with Bee and Arcee, even if they were a bit on guard.

“So what’s the deal with this? Are you just gonna keep me at some military base for the rest of my life?” you questioned as you sat on Magnus’s shoulder.

“No, you are only going to stay here for as long as takes for us to defeat the decepticons”

You just huffed. You’d been stuck to Magnus for the past four days, four days. He was pretty different from Shockwave, even if they were both rather kind to you.

Magnus was quite intrigued by you. You had befriended the decepticons, and even if you were a tad rude towards all the team members you were making fast friends with them too. You didn’t seem like a bad person, even if you were friends with the cons.

Shockwave wasn’t very happy that you had been taken. It had been four days, and unlike you had said, you weren’t back. And you hadn’t called him or the ship either. He was trying to push you to the back of his mind, he had more important things to do after all, but you just kept creeping back to the surface, persistently.

It had been a few days since Magnus had actually started talking to you, when they got a mission. They were supposed to get rid of Shockwave’s predacon lab. You didn’t really like the possibility of Shockwave getting hurt, actually you didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

“Do you have to do this?” you questioned.

“I do not mean to offend you, but this has nothing to do with you” Magnus said.

You gasped in shock, feigning offense. You decided not to argue, but to just sneak back to the decepticon ship while the team went on the mission.

As Magnus and the others drove through the bridge you ran after them. You came out in a a familiar cave. You had been to the predacon plab before with Shockwave and knew your way around.

“I said I’d be back” you grinned as you sneaked behind Shockwave.

“Yes you did, but why are you here?”

“Well, the thing is-”

You were caught off guard by the autobots’s blaster fire.

“Dammit Magnus!” you yelped as Shockwave grabbed you from the ground.

Shockwave ran deeper into the cave, you in his hand.

“Shouldn’t we get onto the ship?”

“Yes”

You trusted he had something planned and just chilled in his hand. Soon however Magnus caught up with Shockwave and tackled him to the ground. You flew through the air and landed right on top of your hand, which made a -not so pleasant- crunching sound.

“Fucking hell!” you yelled in pain.

“Are you alright?” Magnus asked, while attempting to hold down Shockwave

“They don’t need to answer to you!” Shockwave growled.

You had never ever, seen him lose his patience like this. Not that you had known him for as long as you had the the other cons, but still. He had been on earth only a month or two after all.

Shockwave aimed his weapon at Magnus’s face, but he managed to put his servo on the way and got it blasted off instead while redirecting the blast.

You got up and walked further away from the fighting bots. You almost got squeezed under them as they brawled. The situation was taking a turn as Shockwave loomed over Magnus, who was laying on the ground.

“They, are, mine” he stated bluntly while aiming his weapon at the autobot’s face

“They belong to no one” Magnus argued back.

Shockwave was just ready to shoot, when something, or more accurately someone. swooped him off of Magnus and straight into the cave wall.

“Shockwave!” you yelled as Optimus picked you and Magnus up from the floor.

“I am sorry but we must go” Optimus said as you left Shockwave behind.

Once again you slipped through his fingers. And that damned Ultra Magnus, what did he want with you?

[loveislarryislove]

I was tagged by @cheybeautiful​ to fill out this quarantine questionnaire. Thanks for thinking of me!

Are you staying at home from work/school?

Yep, my school closed mid-March and I worked at an on-campus restaurant, so that closed with it. Fortunately there were only a couple weeks left of term, so there wasn’t too much distance learning required.

If you’re at home, who is there with you?

At first I lived in a five-person student house, but they all slowly moved home with parents until it was just me for a solid two weeks. At the end of April, my lease ran out, and I moved to a new place (which I literally signed the lease for HOURS before things shut down here) with my best friend and her tiny doggo (though they’re currently away visiting family so RIGHT NOW I am solo and it is not helping my sleep schedule XD) 

Do you have pets to keep you company? 

One very smol very excitable very dumb doggo. Her name is Millie and we love her and her four brain cells.

Who do you miss the most?

A lot of my school friends, who I didn’t get to say goodbye to and I don’t know when I’ll see them again.  

When was the last time you left your home?

Yesterday, actually, to grab some snacks and drinks from the convenience store. Before that, 

What was the last thing you bought?

I got Domino’s pizza yesterday cause I had a coupon!

Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

Both, tbh. I don’t have anything urgent that needs doing, so I’m just kind of vibing and watching a lot of YouTube, but I feel kind of bad about just being a blob and doing nothing all day and going to bed at 7am. It’s like... relaxing, but not satisfying relaxing, like you don’t quite feel rested.

Are you a homebody? 

Yeah, I’m perfectly happy to not leave my house for days on end, but I liked having the choice! 

What movies have you watched recently?

Little Women! It was great! Also it made me sad! 

An event you were looking forwards to that got cancelled?

I was supposed to see Hamilton earlier this month. And I was fucking stoked for Louis' concert next month. And just like... celebrating the end of things, accomplishing everything, saying goodbye? 

Oh also a youth poetry festival that I’m volunteering with is moving online, so not cancelled, but very different.

What’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel?

Louis’ concert. We waited so long!!! Did his “team” engineer this just to screw him over one more time? (no, they didn’t, but I’m bitter)

What’s the best thing you had to cancel?

I mean I never went to HOCO or FOCO but I gotta say I’m deeply amused by the idea of online HOCO.

Do you have any new hobbies?

I don’t think any new ones really, but plenty of old ones are strengthening or getting resurrected. More baking, more writing and reading... I suppose liveblogging my reading is new (hit me up @annikasafternoonread​ eyy shameless plug). I would be playing more video games but I don’t really have the tech for it. My roommate’s been getting super back into Minecraft, so I just watch her.

What are you out of?

Ice creammmm it’s terrible. Also low on beverages and butter. 

What music are you listening to?

Well I finally listened to Fine Line (yes I know it’s been five months I’m a mess I like to listen to albums all together with my full attention but it takes a while to set aside that much time). But mostly just my usual mix of country and pop. I love Kelly Clarkson’s new song, “I Dare You” -- she recorded it in SIX languages!!!

What shows are you watching?

100 Humans (interesting content but terrible science), my roommate is making me watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine (not unwillingly I’d just never gotten around to it before), and The Witcher.

What are you reading?

Currently Shatterglass by Tamora Pierce (check out the book blog!! @annikasafternoonread​ yes I am tagging myself again)

What are you doing for self care?

Sleeping, reading, eating dessert, wearing the comfiest of pjs and sweaters, just generally being kind to myself about expectations.

Are you exercising?

Didn’t before and still don’t lol

How’s your toilet paper supply?

We’re drowning in it lol -- not from hoarding; I had a full package already and then when my old roommates moved out they left some behind and then my new roommate also had half a package and oh god we have like thirty rolls

Have you made any changes to your hair?

haha no I’m hair-boring, I’ve never even dyed it because I donate it. But I have thought about it (and hair donation places sometimes take dyed hair now) so give it another few months and we’ll see!

I’ll tag @ourslive @harrysnowwhitestyles @littlemrscupcakelovesbooks @neonillusions and @anewyorklovely! How’s your quarantine going?