#extra points from me if it is not father/son like but lovers

[stilesmieczyslaw]

Stubborn Longing

*****Minors DNI!! 18+ Only content. *****  Words: 8.5K Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Female Velaryon/Strong reader  Summary: Aemond swore that one day you would be wed. When the time actually came you wanted nothing to do with him and his prejudices. Slowly you remember how close you used to be.  Warnings: Targcest, Sex (P in v), masturbation, grinding, enemies to lovers? Friends to enemies to lovers? Slightly OOC Aemond. Lots of background filler and time jumps before the smut, smut. Loss of Virginity. Slight mention of blood. Fingering One swear word. No use of Y/N (If I miss anything let me know) The author is dyslexic and apologises in advance.  AN: I'm a Daemon girlie. But somehow I've been sucked into Aemond girlie territory. I can't get enough of your beautiful writing and fics... And edits. You're all fantastic and I hope you enjoy. Read my other unrelated fics here

You were the eldest daughter of Rhaenyra Targaryen. Your hair was brown and curly. Your complexion looked nothing like your father's. Yet still you thought nothing of it. You had fond memories of laughing in the gardens with your father. Chasing him around trees and getting dirty, sneaking extra pieces of cake from the dessert table. Your mother would sometimes scold you both but she also encouraged it. If the people at court saw you playing with Ser Laenor then maybe they wouldn't question it.

You also had fond memories of your mother. You didn't understand what was wrong but there were some days, when she thought she was alone where she anxiously played with her fingers, absentmindedly staring into the fire. Tears at her water line but never shed. You silently wandered over to her and put your head on her knee. The first few times shocked her but now she grew accustomed to it. She stroked your hair and you drifted off. You woke again in your room unknowing how you got there.

You don't remember your younger brother Jace being born. He was just always there. But some days he was boring. He just lay there in his bed - which was unfair. Why was he allowed to sleep in mother and father's room while you slept in the next one?

The only other children to play with were your Uncles and Aunt. They had white hair just like your mother, father and grandsire. Your eldest Uncle, Aegon, sometimes would play but sometimes would be dragged away for lessons as he was older than the rest of you. Helaena your Aunt always seemed to prefer the company of bugs. Always finding somehow the biggest. Although custom would say you would spend your time with her. You were of similar ages.

But secretly you'd always spend time with your uncle Aemond. It started off as games you'd play together. Although his mother disapproved of these games. Or more so you. She was worried her son would get too attached to the bastard children. She could not let this happen. But what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. As you got older you'd find yourself alone with Aemond reading books. Both of you wanted to learn. More than what was expected of you. You'd teach each other High Valyrian.

Aemond was your best friend. You'd spend all day with him if you could but he had to learn to fight while you had to learn to be a wife.

"You should be my wife," Aemond said out loud after you had returned from one of your lessons. "Us?" You scoffed. He looked at you offended. "I did not mean it like that." You waved him off. "Your mother hates us being friends. Never mind us being wed." "Well, I was taught a good wife should know her husband. Who knows me better than you." "That is a good point and I wouldn't have to leave Kings Landing." You nodded. "But I'm sure your mother would try to find you someone else anyway." "What if I could convince her?" "You won't." You almost sang looking down at your book.

After the birth of your third brother Joffrey, your mother announced you would not live in Kings Landing anymore. A third child who did not look like her husband. What did it matter? Their father was their father and they all looked like each other. Did white hair matter when inheriting the throne? Apparently, it did. Your mother gathered all of your belongings while you begged her to stay. 

You were to live on Dragonstone. To which you were the heir. You might as well get used to it now. When your mother becomes Queen it will be your home and when your brother becomes king it will remain your home. You went to find Aemond for one final goodbye. You sat in the woods with him, underneath your shared tree. "You'll be back." He said rather confidently. "Will I?" You looked up at the castle. "When we wed." "You are a fool Aemond. But I admire you for it."

With your absence, his mother spoke more freely about your heritage. You were not your father's daughter. Aegon heard the rumours of Ser Harwin Strong. Aegon passed this knowledge to his brother. Aemond wondered how you could be the product of something so wrong. The more he heard it the more he hated it. How dare a bastard be his friend? Poison words enter the heart of a child so easily. 

Your father's sister died and the whole family were called to Driftmark for her final send-off. While you were sad for your father you tried to contain your excitement to see Aemond again. He had stopped replying to your letters. Maybe he was deep into his studies. When you finally saw him after months of missing him you couldn't help but run to him and hug him. His hug was stiff but you ignored that. 

"How is your plan going Aemond? Our marriage." You asked. "I miss Kings Landing." Part of you was joking, the other secretly hoped. You had missed him terribly. "If that's all you miss then maybe we should not get wed." The words were filled with hate. "Oh." You frowned. "It was a childish dream. I see now it does not matter. When I marry it must be for duty." "For what end would our marriage be then?" "It does not matter." He turned away from you.

For the rest of the night, you tried to talk to him again but he avoided you. You searched the castle on Driftmark for him and you found him at the wrong moment. You could hear the shuffling of a fight. You saw your brothers, cousins and Aemond fighting.  "You will die screaming in flames just as your father did...Bastards!"  "Aemond." You gasped. He turned to look at you. Horror in his eyes. He didn't mean for you to hear that. 

Your younger brother Luke took Aemond's moment of distraction to swipe at Aemond with a knife, taking his eye. He did not mean for the injury to be that bad but the past could not be rewritten. You shouted for help while Aemond lay on the floor bleeding. You were pushed away by The King's guard. Aemond's eye was lost and with it your friendship. 

The Queen wanted your brother's eye in return but your mother would never let that happen. But the Queen was determined. Her son lost something, so something must be taken in return. The King had a brilliant idea - Only in his mind. He proclaimed once you came of age. You and Aemond were to be wed. Something which this morning you would have taken with glee. But now you looked at the boy and glared. You hated him and by the look in his remaining eye. He felt the same. 

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"Mother." You tried to get her attention. She was rushing around in a panic. "Mother please." "We must prepare for the journey. You are to be wed tomorrow and nothing is ready." "If we do not go then we do not need to be ready." You tried. "Your King demands it, my love." She sighed. "The King... Does not know me. Not anymore." You held your tongue. You had more choice words that you would not utter in front of your mother.

"Your Grandsire was there the moment you were born. The look of happiness in his eyes as he held you for the first time."  "And yet he strives to take my happiness."  "You and Aemond used to be so close. Maybe you can be again." She tried to remain positive. You shook your head.  "No. Not after what he called me. The disrespect to my father. Who won't even be here to see his daughter sold like a..." You bit your tongue again. 

"Sweet girl." Your mother played with your hair. She was nervous. Something was eating at her mind. "You may be husband and wife to the outside walls but you can control what happens behind closed doors. If you do not wish to be with Aemond in private you do not have to be." She didn't say it but you knew what she was saying. You nodded in understanding. 

The flight to Kings Landing wasn't a long one. You were on your dragon silently crying. This would be the last flight you would take with your family for a very long time. Your brothers flew in circles trying to make you laugh. You closed your eyes and listened to their laughter trying to keep it in your memory forever. 

Once landed and your dragon seen to, you looked up at the Castle. It did not look how you remembered. Nor did the people inside. Your Grandsire looked more tired and old than you last saw him. Helaena was the mother of two small children. Aegon looked like he was fighting back a smirk and Aemond... Aemond had grown so tall. His eye patch suited him and he looked at you with distaste. You tried to meet his gaze of fire with your own but you couldn't hold it. You hated it. You hated him. 

The day came and your Mother and Step Father officially gave you to Aemond. Your hands were tied and you uttered words that had no meaning to you. You sealed your marriage with a kiss. You kept your face neutral no matter how much you wanted to scream. The crowd cheered as you walked through them with your husband. 

There was a giant feast in your name. Food from all corners of the seven kingdoms was presented and music played. You found yourself dancing with your brothers. Your new sister Helaena. Even your Stepfather danced with you. Your mother stayed to the side. Her pregnant belly was only a reminder of the life you were going to leave behind. Were you to have a new brother? A sister? Would you know their laughter? Would they know your face? 

The music slowed and the King announced that it was time for you and Aemond to dance before retiring to your marital bed. Aegon laughed loudly. You danced the dance your mother taught you. Move after move. You felt numb. This was the worst night of your life. Whispers filled the room. You ignored them. You knew now why your mother sat and looked into the fire looking sad. But unlike your mother, you would not receive comfort. Not here. 

When you reached Aemond's, no, your chambers... Your blood which was supposed to be made of fire, turned to ice. You did not wish to lay with your now husband. It might have been your duty but you did not wish it. The torment he brought you and your brothers. Calling you Bastards. Your mother said you did not have to, but what if Aemond expected it of you? 

Aemond stood behind you. His beautiful wife. He had wanted this for so long. He knew he had wanted you as his Lady Wife since he was a child. He let his mother's hatred into his head and he had regretted it every day. Not just because he had lost his eye over it but he lost you too. He would never forget the look on your face when he called you a Bastard. The last thing he saw with both eyes. He lost you. 

When he saw you arrive on Dragon back his breath was taken away. You had become a beautiful woman in the years you had spent apart. How he longed to write to you but he knew his letters would go unanswered, just as yours had done those years ago. When he saw you again it only reaffirmed his want of you. But he could tell by the tears running down your face this is not what you wanted. So he hid behind his cold demeanour. One that he was used to, one that people expected of him. 

As much as he desired you, he knew you did not feel the same. His own family did not want him so why would his now wife be any different? He could not remember the last time someone touched him with kindness. Not even a hug. His mind flashed back to when his brother forced a whore onto him and he vowed to never do the same.

He spoke finally, knowing you wouldn't. "I won't touch you. Not unless you ask." "I will not ask. Ever." You replied coldly. You walked off behind the divider to put on your night clothes which had been brought over by the handmaidens. It was difficult to get out of your marital gown but you refused to ask for help. Not from a man who would call you a bastard. Not from a man who claimed you like property. 

Once in your night clothes, you walked straight to the bed. It was freshly made but you could tell by the items surrounding the bed which side Aemond would sleep on and you chose to climb into the opposite side. Not long after Aemond joined you.

It was strange seeing a woman in his bed. He didn't hate you. He remembers only fond memories of your childhood. Times he was bullied by his own brother and yours. You would be there to console him. Make him laugh again. It was foolish to think after all these years you could pick up where you left off. As friends.

He climbed into his side. The both of you almost hung onto the side to ensure neither of you touched the other. You both did not sleep out of fear of doing such. You both were angry and you both were saddened. The following morning continued in silence. Your handmaidens helped you dress. They ignored the lack of maiden's blood on the bedsheets. You trusted them not to gossip but you couldn't be certain of that.

You made your way to break your fast with your family. It was almost like a mini feast again. How any of you still had room after last night you would never know. But you filled your plate with grapes, strawberries and other sweet fruits. Your mother greeted you with a smile and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. Aemond watched with jealousy. His mother would never treat any of her children like that. Not even when he lost his eye did she offer comfort. She only wanted revenge. He sat down and loaded his plate with whatever.

"I see the tiredness in your eyes brother. Did you remember where to put it? It has been a long time since you last used it. Surprised it hasn't fallen off with neglect." Aegon very loudly teased. "Aegon!" His mother scolded, looking around with embarrassment. You scooted your chair closer to your mother.

Soon midday came and it was time for your family to leave. Their dragons were saddled and their things packed. Your own dragon looked at them with confusion. Why was she being left behind? It did not help that she could also feel your own emotions of abandonment.

"Mother please." You tried one last time. Tears filling your eyes. Kings Landing had not been your home in years. The last time you lived here your father was still alive. How could you walk the gardens knowing he wasn't here, waiting for you to find him?  "I'm sorry my dear." She shook her head. "It is too late. Your vows were before Gods and King. I can not part you as much as I wish to. Your souls are bound." She gave you one last hug before tending to your brothers making sure they were ready. 

Your Stepfather watched with a frown. Knowing what it was like to be in a forced and unloved marriage. He took your hand. A very rare form of affection from him.  "Say the word and I shall end this marriage for you." He looked into your eyes looking for understanding. You had heard rumours of his first marriage. It was said among court he had killed her.  "Thank you, Uncle." You gave a concerned smile. "I'll keep that in mind."

You watched with tears in your eyes as your family flew away on their dragons. Your dragon roared after them. You patted her neck and hugged her. She is what was left. You did not go to your lord husband for comfort. You did not go to anyone for comfort. You stayed alone. 

Your handmaidens would fetch you food. You didn't want to leave your chambers. Were you acting like a child? Maybe but it felt like your only option. Rumours spread amongst the small folk that the high towers had imprisoned you with shackles.

The King, your Grandsire, would call you to his chambers. You sat in silence. You no longer knew the man in front of you. "I remember." He said very laboured. "You'd sit on my lap and help me build my masterpiece." He gestured to his miniature stone version of Old Valyria. A place neither of you had been. "You'd laugh at my jokes. Tell me Princess, what happened to your smile?"

"I have no reason to smile My King. I miss my family." "Am I not family?" The way he looked at you. An old man trying his hardest to keep his family together. He, just like you missed his family. His daughter, his brother and his grandchildren. He was bound to this place just as much as you were.

"Of course you are... Grandsire." You gave him an honest as possible smile. Far from the sparkle of happiness, he was used to. But better than nothing. "This was once your home, we, your closest friends, allies, confidants. We can be again if you leave your chambers. Walk the castle. Eat with us. Read with the maesters." "Yes, My King." You bowed.

You started off small. You would venture to Helaena's chambers. Eat with her and her children. You played with them and told them stories. They didn't understand your words. But they brought you much comfort in this time. Helaena also seemed to enjoy your company. Or more so did not despise it. Sometimes she would listen to your stories too. You loved the three of them. "Third draw. Left dresser." Helaena would mumble. The first time she said it you thought she was asking for something. But when you showed her everything in the drawer she would shake her head.

Then you would venture to the books and scrolls. Another place of your childhood. Piece by piece you were learning to smile again. At least in public. You still hung onto the edge of your marital bed. Trying to escape without falling.

One particular hot day you realised you could not stay inside. It was time to venture outside. Feel the wind blowing on your face. Picking up your book you followed your feet to your favourite tree. How you would spend hours reading underneath it. How your feet remembered the way while your mind did not, you did not know.

You followed them and gasped when you saw him. Of course. It was his favourite place to read too. While you had left this place he had not. He rolled his eye when he heard someone coming towards him. Normally it was some handmaiden telling him his mother required his attention. He just wished to read in peace.

He looked up and saw you. Book nestled on your hip like it was a babe. His mouth went dry. You remembered the tree?  "I'm sorry my Lord." You gave him a practised bow. "I did not realise someone else would be here. I did not intend to disturb you. I shall take my leave."  "Wait." He called to your quickly retreating back. "You need not leave." You turned to look at him. "The tree is big enough for us both to sit." He gestured to the floor. 

You hesitated. You really did love that tree. The tree never hurt you. In the wind, you could hear Aemond's laughter. His face was void of emotion but you could hear his childhood laughter.  "Yes, My Lord." You finally agreed sitting down. The tree separating you. Neither of you reading but thinking of the other person sitting on the other side. 

You both continued this new tradition for days. Maybe after the second week silence was broken. A squirrel ran past you. You gasped with delight at the tiny creature. You stayed as still as possible to not startle it.  "Aemond." You couldn't help but whisper. It was so quiet he almost didn't hear you. He turned to see what you needed. It must have been dire for you to talk to him after two weeks. He followed your gaze and saw the creature that brought so much light to your eyes. 

He remembered how much you loved the squirrels of the gardens. For one of your name days, he vowed to catch you one but failed to do so. But he enjoyed the laughter he got out of you in the process.  "Shall I catch it for you Princess?" He offered.  "No. I think he shall miss his family if you do. Leave him be." He didn't fail to catch the double meaning of your words. How was he living his dream when you hated him so? 

As more time passed you both found yourselves not sitting on opposite sides of the tree but closer to each other. Even in your bed, you felt more relaxed. You were starting to get used to life again but you still missed your family.

A raven came telling you the news of your new baby brother. Your heart almost burst with happiness and sadness in equal measure. You wished to go to Dragonstone to meet him but you couldn't. You must remain here with your Lord Husband... who must have a quill somewhere in these chambers!

You scrambled around looking for anything to write back to your mother with. Words of congratulations and excitement. But, you could not find anything. You went to his personal bedside dressers. It felt wrong to go in them. These were his personal effects. You would go mad with rage if he looked at your things. But you really needed to write to your mother.

You looked at the two dressers. Left dresser, the third drawer down. You opened the drawer and there was writing equipment but also old pieces of parchment. Curiosity got the better of you. They were your old letters. From when you first moved to Dragonstone. Letters you never got replies to. You laughed at things you once thought so important you needed to tell Aemond.

Beneath your letters, there was one you didn't recognise. You knew the writing, it was Aemonds. The letter was addressed to you but you never got it. He speaks of regret of his words to you on Driftmark. How he wishes to become friends again before you are wed. So many words are scribbled out. If he felt this way why not send it? Maybe you could have worked on something rather than marry in hate. Who knows where your relationship could have been if he had sent this? You borrowed an empty piece of parchment and wrote your letter to your mother. 

"Hello, Aemond." You greeted sitting down beneath the tree. He looked at you puzzled. You never greeted him.  "Princess." He gave a nod of acknowledgement. You almost felt giddy. Even if Aemond wrote that apology letter years ago part of you hoped he still meant it now. You sat in your usual silence but you could not wipe the smile from your face. Aemond opened his mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. "What has gotten your spirits up?" You looked at him with a smile. You meant this one. He could see it in your eyes. 

"Mother has given birth to a son. I have another brother. I feel much happiness for her." That and his unsent letter but to tell him that would be admitting you went through his belongings.  "Oh yes. I heard." He nodded. At least this one wasn't likely to be a... He stopped his own thoughts. No. You were his wife. Your parentage did not matter. You had gone back to your reading but he could not get back to his. He couldn't take his eye off your smile. He hoped he could make you smile like that again. 

Another week had passed and you felt yourself become restless again. You had now been in Kings Landing for a handful of months. The Queen still did not speak to you unless she absolutely had to. The King was growing ever weaker. Aegon was a drunken fool. Helaena was sweet but you wanted to do something else. Not sit inside. Not sit and read a book. You thought of your poor dragon. It had been too long since you had seen her. Your one memory of your home on Dragonstone and you had been neglecting her out of selfishness. Today you would take her out. 

But you could not leave the keep without permission. They say it is for your safety but you knew it was to stop you from running away. With a deep breath, you went to find your husband. This time every day he would be training in the courtyard with the knights. You walked to the courtyard where he had amassed a group of people. People always wanted to watch him but you never understood. What was the point in watching the same people fake fight every day at the same time? 

You watched him fight off the knights with ease. Despite only having one eye it did not stop him from having reflexes that could rival 20 knights. His fighting was almost like a dance. Every step calculated. His footwork working side by side with his arms. Sword going exactly where it needed to go. He was sweating and you could see his muscles working. Maybe you could see the point in people watching him fight. 

The fight ended and Aemond fought to catch his breath. In the crowd of people, he saw you. You would only be here if you needed something. He sheathed his sword and made his way over to you. There was something about him breathless and sweaty with his gaze focused on you. It made you feel some strange way. Nothing you had felt before.

"Aemond." You were almost breathless yourself when he was finally in front of you. "I would like to go for a ride." He pulled almost an amused face which was lost on you. "The Dragon keepers say my dragon has grown restless. I need to go for a ride."  "She grows restless. Or yourself?" He mused. "Both. So may I?" "As you wish Princess. But allow me to accompany you."  "Oh no. I wouldn't want to take you from your schedule." You tried to wave him off. 

"A good husband always makes time for his wife. Especially if that request is a ride." He almost smirked again.  "What is so funny?"  "Nothing."  "It's something. I'll get it out of you Aemond Targaryen." You pointed a finger at him like old times. "I'm sure you will." He let out a small chuckle. He went to link his arm with yours to walk you to the Dragon Pit, but remembered his vow. Do not touch. One playful conversation in weeks does not mean that changed.

You got yourself ready for your ride. Making sure that everything was fastened tightly. You hugged your dragon apologising it had been so long. When she put her head on top of yours you couldn't help but think of your mother. She would always be with you.

"Are you ready Princess?" Aemond's voice called out. You looked over and saw him ready to climb onto Vaghar. How he managed to claim her as a boy you would never know. You nodded. You got on your own dragon and urged her forward. She almost ran for the door. Once in the air, you felt free. Freer than you had in a long time. There was nothing but you, your dragon and the air.

Well... and your husband but he was flying lower. You could see for miles. You turned your head in the direction you knew to be Dragonstone. What were they doing? How were Joffrey's lessons going? How faired your mother and the babe? How easy it would be to fly back to them. But you could not. You would bring shame to yourself and your family. 

Aemond watched you. He always found himself thinking back to his childhood with you. How you had a dragon and he did not. How you'd promise him that you could fly together one day. And here you were flying together now. But again it was not how he imagined.

You looked down and almost laughed at how small Aemond looked compared to his dragon. His legs straddling the saddle. The way he used his legs to steer the direction he wanted to go. An image flashed in your mind of him straddling you. You shook your head. Where did that come from? The same feeling from the courtyard entered your mind. That strange feeling. You felt yourself move uncomfortably.

"Are you alright Princess?" Aemond called out to you. "Yes quite well. I must have not ridden in so long my legs grow tired." "Shall we retire?" He suggested. "Yes, I think so." You agreed before returning to the Dragon pit.

"Thank you for today Aemond. I appreciated it. If I ever require your services and a ride." You paused waiting for his reaction. "I'll let you know." You don't know why you did it, but it felt so right. Walking away you made sure to sway your hips more than you usually would.

More days passed and you found yourself watching your husband train from a balcony. Always that feeling came to you. What was it? You changed your posture, your thighs rubbing together and something felt good. You did it again and you had to bite your lip. You excused yourself to your chambers. You lay on your bed rubbing your thighs together and it felt amazing. A knock on the door pulled you from your playing and you felt embarrassed. Whatever that was, it was not fit of a lady.

But still, you could not help yourself. From those days on you would excuse yourself while Aemond trained. He would be gone for a few hours every day and in those hours you explored your body. You found all sorts of spots that made you feel good. One day while touching yourself an image of Aemond popped into your head. You imagined your hands were his and your pleasure doubled. You looked at the door longingly hoping he would come in and find you like this but he never did.

After that, everything he did drove you crazy. Even he slouched on a chair drinking from a goblet you wanted to climb onto his lap. You wanted a ride. You wanted one so badly.

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You woke first. All night you had dreams of Aemond touching you. There was an ache between your legs that wouldn't go away. You tried pressing your legs together in hopes of something eliminating the feeling but you couldn't. You couldn't touch yourself with him just there. You wanted him to touch you. All you had to do was ask. But what if he didn't want to anymore? What if he had grown accustomed to your mental absence that he did not wish to be with you? You wouldn't blame him. 

Images of him fighting in the courtyard filled your mind. His skill and passion. How sweaty he sometimes got. The way his hair would stick to his forehead. This wasn't helping you. It was making it worse. He was still sleeping soundly next to you. Maybe if you got a bit closer.

You remained on your side facing away from him. For if he woke up you could claim you moved in your sleep. You backed up slowly. You could still hear his deep breathing meaning he was still asleep. You backed up until you could feel his breath on your neck. It sent shivers down your spine. You still did not touch him, however. Now you waited.

It felt like an eternity but eventually, his deep breaths stopped. You obviously had no idea when he opened his eyes as you were facing away from him and also pretending to sleep. But you did hear his involuntary gasp when he noticed how close you were. He did not make a move to touch you but he also did not shy away.

He looked at your sleeping form. You were so close to him. He looked down and saw each of your curves beneath the sheets. He wanted so badly to run his hand down you. Starting from your shoulders, past your stomach, around your hips and your legs. That is when he noticed. It wasn't even his first thought when he saw you this close but now it was his only thought.

How close your ass was to his crotch. His trousers were already tight with it being morning but even more so now. If only you were a small bit closer then he could feel you pressed against him. He could rub himself on you. Your night shift let his imagination run wild. He clenched his fists to his sides. He promised he wouldn't touch you. Maybe he could sneak away. Deal with himself before you wake up. If you noticed and questioned his absence then maybe he could claim early morning training.

Before he could move you grew bored of this position. He had been awake for several minutes and had not made a move. You commended him for keeping his word but his word was not what you wanted right now. You wanted anything but his word. Keeping up the pretence of sleep you turned so now you were facing him. You wished you could have seen the look of shock on his face. If the view from your behind was anything the front was better.

Your hair was a mess. Soft brown curls were on your pillow and over your face. He remembered others calling you names because of your hair but he now knows it is perfect. It is a part of you. His eye travelled further south and landed on your breasts. The position you were in was pressing them together. His fists were almost shaking with how tightly he kept them to his sides.

He closed his eye and began to talk to himself in his own mind. 'She does not want you. She made that clear. She does not want to be touched by you. She wanted a different husband. A different husband who she would have let touch her. A husband who wasn't you. A husband who would know what she felt like... what she tasted like. Does she know? Does she touch herself when I'm not around? Who does she think of? Some lord? Some stable boy who smiles at her every day?' He grew jealous of his own thoughts and opened his eye to be free of them.

When he did he saw your eyes were open. You were looking at him. You had spotted how close you were and you did not recoil. He could see a hint of anger in your eyes. He should have moved away the moment he got the chance but he couldn't. He was so transfixed on looking at you and now you were angry.

He went to back up from you and you moved closer. This puzzled him. "Aemond." Your voice called to him. Far too awake for someone who woke up less than a minute ago. Unless you weren't asleep. "Yes." He answered like a million thoughts were not running around his head. "Touch me. Please Aemond." You almost begged. He was in shock for a moment. Maybe he was still dreaming. The look in your eyes, wasn't anger, not anymore. Your pupils were dilated. He noticed you rubbing your legs together. This was happening.

"What?" He knew exactly what you had said but he wanted to hear you say it again. "Aemond I would like you to touch me. Please. Touch me." You lifted your hand and ran it down his face. He slowly lifted his own hand and placed it on your waist. His eye closed. He had waited so long for this moment.

You sat up from laying down. His hand fell from your waist. His eye shot open. Surely that couldn't have been what you wanted? For him to touch your waist once and be done. He hadn't upset you, had he? His worrying thoughts were gone the moment you swung your leg around him so now you were straddling him. Your bed shift scrupled around your hips. Your legs bare to the side of you. He was reminded that there was nothing under your shift. The only thing separating the two of you were his own clothes.

You both looked at each other frozen in that moment. You had no experience in this field but something drew you to sit in his lap like this and you were glad you did. You could feel every inch of his outline against you and it felt good. But what now? Aemond saw the look of innocence on your face and almost came right there. With both hands, he held onto your hips and dragged you forward. The noise you made would stick with him forever.

It was a mixture of shock and pleasure. You felt a little embarrassed at it. A lady should not make that noise. Before you could say anything Aemond did it again earning the same noise. It felt so good. Maybe if you just... you dragged your own hips forward without his direction and it felt just as good. "Aemond." You said suddenly not knowing any other words. Any you did know were gone.

He sat up changing the position you were in. His chest was pressed against yours. You looked at him under partially closed eyes. You rocked your hips again and your eyes closed fully at the new sensation. Who knew him just sitting up would feel so different to him lying down?

He called out your name and you looked at him. He pressed his forehead against yours. "Do you want this?" He tried to confirm. "Truly." You nodded. He let out a laugh. "I want to hear you say it." "I want you. I want you so bad Aemond." You almost sounded like you were whining. "I have for a while now. I need you." He smiled at you wickedly before his grip on your waist became like iron before it travelled to cup your ass. From this new position, he ground you against him faster and more forcefully. Your eyes rolled backwards as your jaw dropped open.

He placed kisses on your neck enjoying the sounds you were making. He had dreamt of these sounds but they sounded so much better in real life. He nipped and pulled at your flesh with his teeth. His lips went lower but to his dismay, you were still wearing clothes. While your shift had fallen slightly to reveal your shoulders he wanted more than that.

He lifted his hands from your behind and held the edges of your clothes. He looked at you almost asking for permission. You nodded and he pulled it over your head. Now you were in front of him completely exposed. Your nipples hard and the mess you made on his trousers. Wet from where you had been grinding against him. He was in awe of your beauty. You almost hid yourself away from him but before you could he latched his mouth onto one of your nipples which earned him a brand new sound.

He placed one of his hands back into position getting you to grind on him again while the other played with your other breast. You were his. His wife. And the sounds you were making were his too. "Aemond." You called out to get his attention. He looked at you. His own spit coated his lips. He looked so good right now. Although his hair wasn't stuck to his forehead yet. That is what you wanted.

You took his hand from your breast and guided it between your legs. He had seen women at the brothel do this but he didn't know why. You lead his fingers to a sensitive spot and with your guide, he began to rub that spot. "Fuck." You moaned out arching your back. He watched your face crumple up. "How did you know to do that?" He teased going faster. "Have you been touching yourself? Not very ladylike." You nodded. "Tell me. What were you thinking of?"

Your cheeks immediately flooded red. Him. Always him. "Hmmm." He probed for an answer getting faster and faster. "You." You couldn't catch your breath. "You Aemond." You practically shouted. You could feel the familiar feeling in your lower stomach. But there was also something different about it.

"You should have told me. I could have helped you out." He teased more. How long had you been thinking about him? Was it as long as he had thought of you? "I did say all you had to do was ask." You nodded. "Yes, I should have." You agreed. Almost there. "I wanted you so badly. I... I..." your words got caught in your throat. "You what?" "I" was all you managed to get out before your climax washed over you. It was different from usual. Normally your hand would be caught up in your orgasm that you would stop rubbing your clit meaning you would only feel it for a few fleeting moments. But Aemond did not stop. He kept going watching you come undone on top of him. Your whole body shook.

You looked so beautiful in that moment for him. He needed to do this again to you. Now he knew what it was, he needed it again. Once your body stopped shaking and your eyes closed with tiredness he removed his hand. You felt like you might wobble off the top of him. "Ready for my turn Princess?" Whether or not he meant that as a pet name or your official title, you would never figure it out. You gave a nod.

He flipped you over so now you were on the bottom. You were still in a daze. "Look at what you've done to my trousers." He scolded. You looked down and tried to ignore the bulge and only focus on the giant wet patch. Maybe you might have felt embarrassed but you didn't care. "You felt so good." You sounded like you were drunk. Aemond looked down at his wife, delirious and wanting more and he was more than happy to oblige.

He undid the strings that were trying their best to hold his waistband together. His dick sprung free causing him to wince at the sensitivity. He kicked his trousers away and you shot a sneaky look. Obviously, you had already felt it but you didn't imagine it would look like that. All stiff and leaking slightly. "Enjoying the view?" You were caught. Clearly not as sneaky as you thought you were. You nodded and licked your lips.

"I'll go as slow as I can." His voice suddenly went soft. "It might hurt." You nodded at him. He ran his dick up and down your folds a few times to gather your wetness. It sent small shocks down your spine. Was he teasing you? "Aemond?" You questioned. "Just enjoying my wife. The one who said she'd never ask." You bucked your hips up trying to meet him but he held you down easily. You began to squirm underneath him. You felt so empty. You needed him inside you.

"Don't make me beg again. I was wrong. I do want you to touch me. I do." He didn't move. "Aemond." You tried to sound annoyed but you couldn't. He leant his face forward and kissed your lips. It was then you realised that in all of this, you hadn't kissed him yet. This was your first kiss since the wedding and it made you want more. Why had you been missing out on all of this again? His tongue glided against your lips and you knew immediately what he wanted. You opened your mouth and let him in. For a moment you wondered what his tongue would feel like elsewhere. Maybe another time.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. You didn't miss the smile he had as he slipped himself inside you. You gasped into his mouth and pulled your face away. "I've got you." He reassured. "You're okay." You nodded speechless. He slowly moved while kissing you again. Your sounds of discomfort slowly turned back into moans. It was a strange feeling. He was reaching places your fingers could never could. "Faster." You breathed into his ear. He did as asked. 

Your extra sensitivity meant you couldn't last much longer. The sensation in your stomach coming back. When Aemond started making noises you knew he wouldn't last much longer either.  "Aemond." You couldn't help but shout. He began to nod.  "I know. I know." He began to repeat over and over. He kept one hand by your head while his hand went back to the spot you had shown him earlier. The shock of pleasure had your body jolt forward clamping your muscles. Aemond let out his own moan which sent you over the edge for the second time. Your muscles pulsated around him and he finished inside of you. 

He stayed inside of you for a few moments catching his breath before rolling over beside you. You shuffled over to him and put your head on his shoulder. You looked up at him and saw what you wanted. His hair was a mess. You raised your hand and brushed it out of his face. He looked down at you puzzled. You moved your hand.  "What?" You asked suddenly worried that you had done something wrong. He took your hand and held it against his face. He leant into your touch. "What is it Aemond?" You were suddenly concerned. 

He took a deep breath in.  "Nothing." He brushed it off. Letting go of your hand.  "Don't do this Aemond. I'm your wife, as much as I have not acted like it. Please share your thoughts with me."  "I just fear now that you have gotten what you wanted from me, you will leave me."  "Aemond." You sat up brushing your own hair out of your face. You gathered the sheets to cover yourself. "I know what you think of yourself. I see it. You might think you hide it but I've known you my entire life." You turned back around to look at him. "I won't leave you." He didn't look at you, not believing you. 

You leant down to kiss him. You tried to put all of your feelings into the kiss. At first, he did not kiss you back but he got caught up in it.  "You don't need to believe me, at least not at first." You said pulling away. "But I will make sure you know. I will make it up to you. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you." You curled back up into his side. He moved slightly but only to hold you closer. You were in his arms as much as he was in yours. You both drifted off to sleep again. 

You both were woken by knocks at your doors.  "Prince? Princess?" It was your handmaidens.  "Go away," Aemond shouted at them. You giggled at his childishness. You heard the shuffling of feet.  "We should get up." You sighed. "Although I do not wish to." Closing your eyes again.  "We are needed for royal duties." Aemond agreed.  "Do any of your duties include training? I like it when you train." Aemond chuckled.  "Is that so?" You nodded at his question. "Watching you made me realise how badly I wanted you. Watching you sweat and be out of breath. I wanted to do that to you." "I can make it part of my duties. I do need to be ready to always protect the realm. And once I'm done I can find my Lady Wife." 

You pulled away from his arms and tried to get out of bed only to find yourself collapsing under your own weight and back onto the bed.  "It's like I'm on one of grandsire's ships." You giggled. "I might have to stay here all day." You beamed.  "Then how will you watch me train?" Aemond pointed out. You pouted. He kissed you. As he pulled away you pulled him back in for a second one. "I fear I have created a monster." 

"I'd like to say. In the future please feel free to touch me whenever you like. Well... Not whenever. We might cause quite a stir if we do that in court."  "Hmmmm." He traced circles on your side. "I like the idea of us sitting at the presiding table with my hand up your skirt." You shivered.  "Sounds like you've already thought about it." It was your turn to tease. He sat forward, his lips pressing against the shell of your ear.  "Oh, I have Princess. I've thought about many things."  "You should have let me know. I would have helped you." You mirrored his words from earlier. 

The both of you got dressed and Aemond led you by arm to see his sister Helaena and her children. You sat down and smiled at the children. Helaena looked at you once you were alone.  "Hot baths." She said. "Hot baths help with the pain." She went back to sowing while you felt yourself blushing. How she knew, you didn't want to know but you hoped nobody else did. 

You and she walked around the red keep taking the children for a walk. You heard grunting. You looked down into the courtyard and saw your husband and Ser Cole practising with swords. His grunts and breathlessness taking you back to this morning. Almost like he could feel your presence he looked up. He grinned knowing your thoughts. 

He told you, you'd end up married.

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Astray far Away Ch.3

Adar x reader | ch.1 - ch.2 - ch.4

More uruk bonding time, the Glûg fam has stolen the spotlight for now.

Glûg fam names borrowed from @mylovelylittleobsessions for this and all upcoming chapters

You were sitting at a small table with Glûg and his wife.

The conversation topics ranged from the town to how you were dealing with the new living situations, as well as loads of proud baby rambling from Glûg. Once he was on his third repeat of the same tale with new people joining the table you were pulled into conversation by Duraz, his wife who kindly offered you some basics on uruk behavior and ways to blend into the folk. 

She carefully joked around about you and Adar, claiming you arrived at the perfect time to add some good to his daily life. 

“Oh believe me, you didn’t see Lord Father that first day. He was in a good mood!” She whisper-yelled at you with a smile on her face. “He didn’t even yell at the youngins causing trouble that day.” Duraz leaned in extra close then.

“Are you really that good of a lay?” you almost choked on air at the question, coughing and turning beet red.

The topic was quickly dropped and you just sat and listened to the men talking over each other until you were invited along to put the baby to bed.

“What, me? Shouldn’t Glûg be going with you?” With the shake of her head you were taken by the arm and led along. “Glûg knows how to put a baby to bed. Do you know how to put a baby to bed?” she held her hand out to you like she expected you to place your answer into it. 

The answer being “No..” 

“See? I’m showing you. All us ladies need to know. Fathers die in combat, mothers die having babies sometimes, still. So all of us need to know how to care for them.” Duraz shrugged as if it was all just another day in their lives, which you guessed it was for them. It saddened you to a point and your walk fell silent all the way to the destination. 

Once you arrived you felt a little out of place. The home wasn’t much, but really none of them were. The half house you were given felt like way more than you deserved as a newcomer.. 

You made a mental note to tell Adar about it as you were shown the baby’s crib. 

“Here, you hold him for a bit. Go sit, no need to be standing around.” Without a second to process you had a softly grumbling uruk child in your arms and the world seemed to still. You held the boy with the utmost care, staring at him scrunching his face as he murmured and wriggled in your embrace. For a moment you were back on that fallen log with Adar, where you had made him the offer of children and a million questions flooded your mind, but those had to wait.

“You’re not just doing this because of me and Adar, right? I mean I get it, everyone is excited for their leader to have found a partner.” You wiggled your fingers in air quotes as best as you could with the little boy in your arms. “But, I honestly just want to fit in as me, not as his lady.” 

Of course you were willing to be his lover once you had the chance to really connect with him, once the towns were ready and life could be lived normally. 

“You worry too much. You make the little one fussy with your sad thinking.” Duraz hadn’t even looked up from where she was putting clean bedding into the crib but knew her son had picked up squirming.

“Alright, all done. Come here so I can teach ya.” The gesture was firm but kind, and easily rid your mind of more thoughts that were about to slip in. 

You supposed you were handing Glazraum back to his mother, but upon trying you were firmly denied and informed you’d be doing the work yourself. 

"You mortals learn by doing too, yes? So you’re doing. I’ll talk and you do.” With arms crossed you were watched like a hawk as you followed the instructions that you were given. It felt strange to do all of it with the mother just watching. Luckily her instructions were clear and her voice seemed to keep the little one calm even with your racing nerves. 

You were on your knees beside the crib, letting the boy grab at your fingers and play a little, making sure he wasn’t uncomfortable and gently tucked him in. 

“Look at you, doing good.” 

A while after the three of you had left the table, the men had all finished their tales and moved along. Glûg made his way home when he fell into step with Adar, who’s home stood near his. Their conversation was mostly about today’s progress and developments. Simple updates that, on Glûg’s part ended with you heading to his home to assist in putting his son to bed. “I’m sure she’ll settle into the group soon enough. She’s still wary but it’ll be good once she gets to know us better.” Glûg could sense the uncertainty in his Lord Father around the topic of you. He had caught on with the annoyances the situation had caused among the other Southlanders. He even had one of them killed for trying to move onto him, claiming he’d benefit from having an experienced woman for his pleasure. She had tried so desperately to stay alive within her own comforts and dared to make a crude comment about he deserved better, calling you forgettable and weak among a bunch of other terms he had quickly tuned out.

Their conversation died down at the last strides to Glûg’s home, where he opened the front cloth and instead of entering, just watched for a moment. Their son’s crib was next to their bed, easy to see from the door. 

“You’re not just doing this because of me and Adar, right?” Adar’s ears perked up at the sound of his name, listening in on the conversation happening more closely now. He smiled when he watched you bring comfort to the young uruk boy. It was something he never thought he’d see, a mortal treating his kind with respect, and love even. 

Up to this point his heart only had space for his kin. His children. But now a new spark lit, embers smoldering dim but warming. 

Him and Glûg had been spotted already by the ever watchful mother who dared to wink at her Lord Father in a knowing matter. It was enough for him to officially call it a day, wishing Glûg a good evening with his family as quietly as possible before moving on.

“Look at you, doing good.” Glûg’s voice sounded from the home’s entrance. “You’d fit in perfectly with the caretakers.  I’m sure Lord Father would think so, too." With a quick glance to his wife he smiled and got closer, kneeling down beside you to say goodnight to Glazraum who had gotten all energized at the sound of his father’s voice.

“Come on now, little fighter, you were almost sleeping.” You cooed at the child making grabby hands at his father, who happily reached out to lend a finger to grab and gnaw at. It was your turn to watch now, as Glûg let his son play with his hand until he dozed off. 

“This doesn’t count as me failing to put him to bed now does it? I can’t help he likes his dad so much he doesn't wanna sleep.” You spoke softly as to not wake up the child now that he was fully asleep in his crib. Both parents had to put in effort not to burst out laughing and happily assured you that your actions were all perfectly fine. 

After a few more kind words you all called it a night and you set off to your home. 

The walk wasn’t far, but you did pass the sleeping grounds of the Southlanders still around, and none of them had been asleep yet. It was clear as day none of them found your treatment fair, seeing they worked their days away for scraps while you were allowed to roam free and settle in, and be fed whatever you wanted whenever you wanted. 

As you passed you caught murmuring, paired with stares and sneers. ‘Saw her walk off with a mother and child earlier, all cozy. Fake woman.’

“I bet she shared a bed with both of them.” One spoke louder, sure to make you hear him. “Was your royal boyfriend too busy? Did you have to go to his second in command to get your fill?” 

With your head held high you chose to ignore the callout. You knew they were wrong and you did not need to explain your actions to those who wouldn’t listen anyways. Still something inside of you wished to scream at them.

They were once your friends, your company. A part of you still saw them like that, but all they saw in their eyes was a liar. A fake you who according to them stopped caring for your true family in favor of your own comfort.

“What? Too good to talk to us now?” You heard him scoff. “You’re nothing more than the orcs’ harlot.”

The insults and implications had you furious, the last one enough to make you snap back. 

“The uruk treat me kindly because I respect them!” Your outburst had the others look up from their conversation too, as well as a couple uruks who were passing by. “They aren’t monsters. Maybe if you realized that, you wouldn’t be sleeping in the dirt right now.”

You looked over the group who were all clearly not planning to change their disgust towards the uruk. All except for one boy who had his face hidden in his too large mug of water. He was a shy one, moved in from Hordern just before it fell. He never spoke much.

He was the only one not currently throwing words that offended both you and the uruk. They felt big for a moment, all tearing into just you until something flew past and hit the log the men sat on with a loud thud.

A thick kleaver-like object stuck deep into the wood as a loud growling came from behind you. 

You spotted broad shoulders and large tusks, a missing eye and a thick leather apron. The cook you met earlier had overheard the ruckus and came to settle it. Krod was his name.

“Lady shows care for us, for the little ones, too. While all you do is chase them off when the boys offer help.” The angry look he gave the men as he stalked closer worked. It even creeped you out to an extent. “All you do is whine and complain, insult us and refuse to work together with our kind.” With a snap of his jaw he scared off the toughest humans and retrieved his kleaver, pointing it at the group. “If you want to be treated better, be better.”

The uruk’s last words were a clear warning, making the ones who barked the loudest walk off with their tails between their legs. He let out an angry huff as he walked back over to you and right before you went from a menacing big beast to a gentle giant with a wide toothy smile.

“Let me walk with you. Rude folk won’t bother you.” With a soft pat to your shoulder blade he had you fall into step towards your home. “Name’s Krod. Was the food good today? We need to make new plans for food, not many supplies in the ashlands now.” 

You looked up in surprise, to you the food was good. You gave him your name and assured him the food he prepared was tasty and filling. 

“The stew was so nice! The smell had me drooling in line already. And I had more than enough with just one portion, even with my small breakfast.” 

You earned a surprised look from beside you. “You mortals really eat just small bits like that? That’s enough?” 

“Look at how big you are compared to me! I’m just a tiny mortal, I’m not as active as all the uruk around working all day.” You gestured between the two of you, grand and giggling at the look of calculation and eventually understanding you got. 

“Smart little mortal. "Fun lady, too.” He gave you a kind pat on your head before bidding you a goodnight as you had reached your home.

You mind was still running a million miles an hour because of the trouble with the others. Their voices repeating in your head as you tried to focus on Krod’s voice to drown them out and while it almost worked you still slept, haunted by your former friends. 

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

Epilogue

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers (👀)

Warnings: fluuuuuff

a/n: I hope everyone enjoyed this story!!! This is actually not the end, I'm open to write extra chapters, so if you want to, you can request whatever you want!!

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“I never thought that we could have such a perfect baby, hm? It's the perfect mixture of us”

It was hypnotic. Looking at Dorian was hypnotic. The most beautiful baby I have ever seen in my life. His hair is dark, and the moment he opened his eyes we saw how bright they were.

“I told you the name would fit him so good” Charles whispered behind me, pressing his lips on my shoulder. 

I chuckled softly, tracing his nose with my finger. It's been two days since he came to the world and the visits to meet our son didn't stop. Our families came first, all of them excited to meet the new member of the family and welcome him with more gifts and flowers and chocolates for me. Then, Oscar and Lily came, wanting to meet their godson.

“God, he's so beautiful” Oscar smiled, looking down at the newborn that was laying on the hospital crib, holding his finger with his tiny hand.

“Do you want to hold him?” I smiled, sitting on the bed and looking at him.

“Can I?” he asked nervously, biting his lip.

“Of course!” I laughed softly.

Charles smiled, walking towards the crib and picking up Dorian, who started to coo softly the moment his father held him. Oscar smiled, following with his eyes every movement Charles made, following the instructions of how he had to hold the baby. 

“There you have” Charles smiled, placing Dorian in Oscar's arms carefully. “Hold his head, careful”

“I've got him” he smiled, looking down at the baby and smiling when Lily leaned close to him. 

“He’s so beautiful, guys” Lily smiled looking at us. 

“Hi Dorian” Oscar said softly, smiling when he felt the tiny hand wrapping his finger again. “We're your godparents”

I smiled, leaning back on Charles when he sat next to me in the bed. Oscar is like a little brother for me, and watching him hold my son feels so right, so perfect.

“Welcome to the family, guys” I said looking at them.

After them, every driver of the grid came to visit us, wanting to meet the son of “Il Predestinato” and “La Principessa”. And of course, all of them came with merchandising of their teams.

But the moment we enjoyed the most was when we were alone, just the three of us. Charles helped me when I had to go to the bathroom, making sure I was comfortable and even holding Dorian while I went to take a shower. And whenever I had to feed Dorian, he always made sure to keep a bottle of water close to me.

“Does it hurt?” he whispered, looking down at how our son was sucking my breast, drinking. 

“A little, but I knew it was going to happen” I smiled. “But it's the most beautiful experience ever, actually”

Charles smiled and kissed my neck softly, hugging me from behind and getting closer to me in the hospital bed, cuddling.

“We should get things ready to leave” I said. “Did you bring the baby seat?”

“Yeah, it's in that chair” he nodded, pointing to a chair that was behind him. “Are we going to Milano?”

“No… I think we should stay here for a few more days” I mumble. 

Somehow, having Dorian here in Monaco, far from our home, was hard. We couldn't go back until he's at least a week old, because long trips are not recommended. And if we want to go by plane, we have to wait some days too.

“Hey, it's okay” Charles smiled, kissing my head. “We knew this was going to happen, don't worry. We have everything we need, the guys came with presents that we can use for the days we stay here, okay?”

“Yeah” I sighed. “But your apartment is not ready for Dorian”

“Who said it is not?” he chuckled. “What do you think I was doing while I went home to get us things and wash the clothes?”

“Eh… Get us things and wash clothes?” I frowned trying to hold a laugh.

“Wrong answer” he smirked, but immediately laughed. “I mean, I did that too! But besides that I just put the baby clothes everyone gifted us in the drawer and then I settled on a crib I bought just in case. Everything we need at the moment is there, so don't worry”

“What would I do without you?” I smiled, turning my face to capture his lips with mine.

The moment I felt Dorian stopped sucking,I smiled, grabbing a cloth to clean his mouth and bringing him to my chest, patting his back and waiting for him to blurp. Charles chuckled softly, kissing his small head and then picked him up to place him on his chest while I put my shirt on again.

“Come on, get dressed” he smiled. “I'm going to clean this little man and then we can leave”

I nodded and smiled, kissing Charles' lips and getting out of the bed. Now it's less painful, but I still was careful with everything. The bump was going down, but I knew that I had to do a long recovery to get the body I had before Dorian back. 

“Let's go” I smiled, walking out of the bathroom already dressed.

Charles smiled, grabbing my hospital bag and then the baby seat, walking out of the room with me. Just the sight of him makes me smile, makes me feel proud of him and even makes me fall more in love with him.

“You look like a hot dad” I chuckled, holding his hand while we walked through the corridors of the hospital.

“I am a hot dad” he smirked. 

“You are a dilf” I laughed, kissing his cheek.

“And you are a milf. That term fits you so well” he laughed.

dafnemorelli posted a new story 

“Idiot” I chuckled.

charles_leclerc posted a new story

It was a sunny day when it happened.

After a few weeks of getting used to parenthood and having our sleeping schedule completely messed up, we decided to leave Monaco and finally go home.

We decided to go there by plane, with the private jet, so it could be more comfortable for us and Dorian. Our siblings would come some days later with the car just to make sure we had the big car back in Milano.

Charles and I were praying during all the flight hoping that Dorian was asleep all the time, but thankfully he only woke up once only because he was hungry. But all the time we spent in the plane we were lucky enough to be calm.

Going back home, thanks to the car Pierre let us borrow, was exciting. Watching Dorian fully awake, looking at me with wide eyes as we approached our house, was something I would never forget. He was smiling and giggling, and the moment Charles opened the windows and the sounds of nature around us came into the car, his blue eyes opened even wider just to pay attention to the new sounds.

“This is home, baby” I smiled, holding his hand softly.

Charles looked at me through the mirror, smiling and parking the car in front of the house. 

“Let's go” he said, getting out of the car and then opening the door of Dorian's side.

I smiled looking at Charles, watching how he carefully picked up Dorian and held him close to his chest, keeping the blanket wrapped around him and his little cat plushie in his other free hand.

I followed him towards our house, our home. The moment I opened the front door I couldn't help but take a deep breath and smile wide. The last time I was here was before I left to surprise Charles in Imola, nearly a month ago. And thanks to Kika and the few times she came to clean just the necessary while I was in Monaco, our house looked perfect.

“Welcome home, Dorian” I smiled, standing behind Charles and looking at our baby. 

It was perfect, having him at home just how he wanted. We could finally get him used to our place, to bath him in the little bath we bought, to put himfhe clothes we chose and to put him to sleep in the rocking chair we put in the living room.

“Do you want to rest a little?” he asked me, turning his head to look at me. “I'll take care of him, yeah? Go to bed, hm? I'll wake you up in an hour”

“Are you sure?” I smiled, wrapping my arms around his waist. 

“Yeah. I want to have a father and son moment with him” he chuckled softly. 

I laughed softly and kissed his cheek, going upstairs with my suitcase and then laying on the bed immediately. 

I can't remember how I fell asleep, I only know that when I woke up the bedroom was bathed with a golden light. I frowned, rubbing my face with my hand and looking at the clock in my nightstand.

“What the…” 

I frowned looking around, getting up slowly while I stretched my back and walked out of the room. I sighed, going to the nursery hoping to find Charles there. But it was empty.

“Charles?” I called him, but there wasn't an answer.

I swallowed thickly, feeling my heart stopped working. He couldn't leave right? Not without telling me? Maybe he's with Dorian in the backyard. Yeah, it has to be that.

“Charlie?”

And then I saw it.

A petal. A rose petal. And then another. And another. And another. Then a candle. Then more petals downstairs. More candles and petals. 

“What is this? Come on, Charles!”

“Follow the roses”

I laughed, relieved to finally hear his voice. I took a deep breath and did what he asked, walking towards the backyard door. My heart started to beat faster and  I kept walking, trying to hold the tears when I saw Charles standing in the middle of the backyard with Dorian in his arms.

“Come here” he smiled, reaching out to me, making me walk faster to stand in front of him, right in the middle of a big heart made of roses.

“Why?” I chuckled looking around. “What is this?”

“Do you remember what you said the day of the gender reveal with our friends?” he smiled, placing his free hand on my waist. 

“I said many things that day” I smiled, looking at how Dorian was dressed with a cute baby blue onesie.

“When we talked about our future. When I told you that I wished you had my last name, that you were my wife” he smiled. “Do you remember what you said?”

“Step by step” I nodded. 

“Yeah. And that I had to talk with you about it once Dorian is in our arms” he smiled, kissing Dorian's little head. “And guess who is in our arms?”

“Dorian” I chuckled, feeling my heart beating faster and faster when I understood where this was going.

“Dafne” he smiled, holding my hand. “We have a long story. A story of love and hate. I have many regrets, believe me. I regret making you cry, I regret making you hate me and not fix things earlier. I regret insulting you. I regret not being next to you in the important moments of your life. But the thing I don't regret at all is loving you, because I have loved you since the first day I saw you, hugging the cat plushie our son is hugging right now. I have loved you in my dreams and in secret, and now I'm so incredibly happy to love you freely”

I took a deep breath, squeezing his hand and sniffling softly, feeling how the tears started running down my cheeks with every word he said.

“We may have had many fights and arguments, some forks may have been thrown during those fights” he laughed, making me laugh too and shake my head. “But, that's the past. That's the past and now we are in our present and holding our future. I promise to love you every morning we wake up and every night we go to bed. It's always been you, only you. You already made me the luckiest and happiest man in the world the day Dorian was born, but I know there's something more you can do to make me happy”

“Yeah” I nodded, laughing softly through the tears of joy.

“Will you marry me? Will you have my last name? Will you be my wife for the rest of our lives?” he asked, letting go of my hand and grabbing a box he was hiding in the pockets of his jeans.

“Yes” I smiled looking at him, slowly opening the box and finding the most beautiful ring I had ever seen in my entire life. “Yes! Of course I'll marry you, Charlie”

“God, I love you so much” he smiled, leaning in and pressing his lips on mine, smiling when we heard the soft coos of our son. “You are my world. You and Dorian are my world”

“You are mine, too” I whisper. “I love you. So much. This is what I was made for. I was made for you, to be your lover, the mother of your kids. Your partner and soulmate”

dafnemorelli, charles_leclerc

“And I was made for you” he whispered against my lips.

liked by charles_leclerc, ericamorelli and 928.429 others

dafnemorelli Life upgrade: Fulltime milf and soon to be Leclerc, motherfuckers.

view all comments 

arthur_leclerc LET'S FUCKING GOOOO

ericamorelli I'm hoping to be a bridesmaid 

soleil_morelli Same here🙋🏼‍♀️ francisca.gomes Same 🙋🏻‍♀️ violetsinclair Same 🙋🏼‍♀️ landonorris Same 🙋🏻 dafnemorelli landonorris Ariana what are you doing here?

oscarpiastri Is there a chance I could be the bridesman?

landonorris No. You are already Dorian's godfather. Go to hell. dafnemorelli Actually… landonorris ☹️ dafnemorelli landonorris oscarpiastri If you two organize my bachelor party, you can be in the team. landonorris Let's fucking goooo

f1 We are so incredibly proud of you two!

scuderiaferrari Can admin go to the wedding?

dafnemorelli Of course🥰

fewawifan OMFG I swear, every time I get a notification of Dafne posting something I get a heart attack! I'm so so happy for you!!!

prema_team Our two drivers!!!!! So so so happy!!!

taglist

@elisysd @alltoomaples @ssprayberrythings @rach3164 @yvonne-dump @deliciousfestsalad @janeh22 @hc-dutch @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @ssararuffoni @itsjustkhaos @scaramou @tapedeck-hearts @sltwins @glitterquadricorn @ladystardust05 @theseerbetweenus @vizzzashley @auawdo @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @leptitlu @green-thots @caterinemirandax_ @mid5nights @harrysdimple05 @nofingjustaninchident @mendes-bae

[purrlockswatson]

Susan Kay's Phantom, WHY?

Lord save me from Erik and Christine's child. I'll never recover from all the times the existence of that child hurt me - not in a good way.

The last 80 pages really turned the grasshopper for me. Kay built a beautiful opera house, then sent a flaming, gunpowder-loaded chandelier through the roof. I enjoyed the first three-quarters of the book. It took incredible storytelling and research to build up that sprawling history only hinted at in the closing of original novel, and I love how the story made a spectacular Frankenstein Phantom from many adaptations.

But then came Christine.

Kay's afterword makes it worse for me. She states she doubts that A) Raoul would doubt Christine's love for him, and B) whether pity is a strong enough motivation for Christine to go back to Erik in spite of her fear. Ergo: Raoul was right when he suspected Christine loves Erik.

Well, I can clear up both of those points - A) Raoul is an insecure, jealous boy; B) aside from pitying Erik, Christine thought she could pacify him by going back, making pity AND fear her motivations, which she explains in Apollo's Lyre.

But Phantom's loyalty to the original is beside the point. What disturbed me about this explanation is that Kay meant it to be a love story. But there is no love.

I have already harped on to two friends about Phantom of the Opera and sexuality (thanks to @blackforrestpunk and @blackghostm2o for putting up with me). I think I can write an essay on the subject. After all, vampire fiction is my area of expertise.

⚠️Warning: Heavier subjects discussed below. I don't usually post content like this, so I thought i should give a heads up.⚠️

Leroux's Erik was never sexually attracted to Christine. All his fantasies he concerning her were purely romantic, even domestic ('a wife to keep amused on weekdays and take out on Sundays') whereas in Webber's adaptation, seduction is a recurrent theme in the Phantom's songs. There is nothing wrong with adding this extra layer to Chrsitine and Erik's relationship, as long as it doesn't overshadow their artistic bind through music.

But in Kay's Phantom, towards the ending, Erik's music becomes purely a sexual euphemism. It's a hypnotic drug that he uses to control Christine, and of course, there is that scene where he describes himself assaulting her by playing Don Juan Triumphant.

That is deeply misguided. Erik's music was his one connection to the purest, truest part of humanity. He was treated like a monster and often lives like one, yet he could express and evoke feelings that no most people could never, through his song.

And there is the child.

Erik thinks that Christine looks exactly like his mother. He speaks of her as his daughter. He is, self admittedly, old enough to be her father. And they still have a son together. There is no context, no possible way, that this is romantic. Horrible things can happen in a book. But it needs to be clear that it is horrible. Not so with this abominable ending. It was written as a romance, the bittersweet parting of starcrossed lovers. If Kay set out to write a love story for Erik and Christine, she did not do it: there is no evidence whatsoever in the text I read that Christine and Erik love one another. Erik lusts after her; Christine is drawn to his dark broody mystery. That is not love; it's Twilight.

I will reread this book for the sake of the brilliant child Erik, who I see myself in, and for Nadir and my feline lady Ayesha, but I will never be reading past Erik's delightful meetings with his old friend. As far as I'm concerned, he lived in his damp cellar in peace, with a large salary, to the end of his days.

More rants, I mean, very dignified and reasonable reviews of POTO adaptations here.

[bonefall]

Is Sandgorse still abusive in BB? If so does he still save Sparrow? Idk I think it'd be a neat thing for Talltail to brood on and move past once realizing the truth. Like just because your abuser did a "Good Thing tm" doesn't mean you have to forgive them or that all of a sudden it excuses their past a tion towards you.

Or did you remove this plot beat entirely? If so I don't blame you :P

Weird that Tumblr search isn't giving me all the stuff I tagged :/ hopefully after finals are done I can compile a 1st draft/The Story So Far for the rework of Tallstar’s Revenge

It's now called TALLSTAR’S COLLAPSE. It is actually a story I am rewriting with tragedy in mind. It's about Talltail fleeing WindClan with his starcrossed lover, Sparrow, only to eventually be drawn back to it where he becomes a perpetuator of all the things that made him leave.

To answer your question; Yes, and. Sandgorse is abusive and there's a LOT of nuance to this situation. I'm not sure if he still saves "Sparrow" though because I have waaaay more of a point in mind with Tallstar’s tumultuous relationship to him.

Summary of changes,

Tallstar's Collapse

Sparrow is the Clanmew name Jake takes when his group interacts with WindClan. His first language is actually a dialect of Townmew!

(Also Firestar has no known father in BB)

His group is nomadic. They go from place to place trading goods. I need a name for both them and their cultural "cluster" but in my head, Jake's family is the Algernauts because Algernon is the current leader

It's important the Algernauts are extremely endearing because leaving them is VERY painful

(and something i want to frame as the wrong choice for tallstar, emotionally)

WindClan is in a very sensitive period of its history. Before Tallstar was born, Heatherstar began the Mothermouth Moorland War, to take a very large parcel of land from ShadowClan. A good 1/5th of it.

Naturally this is a huge project and incredibly ambitious. Sacrifices Must Be Made

The sacrifice she has chosen to make is the death of tunneling. Because she's smothering it.

Tunneling is PEACEFUL, defensive at best. You can't dig them in a floodplain, they would be useless for holding the Mothermouth Moorland territory

Tallkit is born into a terrible position. Son of the head tunneler, mother in a terrible depression, and Heatherstar trying to pry a wedge between the "future" and the "past"

Im also planning to change his name. He was born Slowworm-Kit, which has a connotation of cleverness in Clanmew. To bully him, Shrewpaw calls him Wormtail, because Slowworms drop their tails if pulled. It means "you will get trapped in a cave-in, and when they pull your tail, it'll fall off"

But it doesn't translate well into English... so I'm not sure what his Heatherstar-given warrior name would be. Wormwing or Wormleap maybe, like he "defied fate" to become a wonderful moor-runner...

Or maybe the prefix is Drop? Droptail as the mean bully name and Dropflight as the warrior name...

Anyway, when he returns, Heatherstar welcomes back the extra claws and honors the lesson he learned with "Talltale." In Clanmew this is "Story-travelled," his leader name meaning "Tale-star."

Anyway. Back to the cat drama

Talltail (name pending) is in a tight spot. I kind of want to show everyone being a victim except Heatherstar herself, who has all the power in this situation.

Not that it excuses anyone

Sandgorse is watching something he loves dying, an ancient tradition passed down for generations. He is trying to force his son into a position he shouldn't HAVE to occupy, but his child is the one thing he might have any control over

(Until Tall breaks it ofc)

Tallpaw was just a kid. He needed to take out his bullying and the stress on something, and that was usually his mother and the concept of tunneling

Palebird has been completely neglected by her mate as he focuses on the person he WANTS his kid to be. She NAMED a Fading Kit, a serious social taboo, and even the support of the nursery and Woolytail can't pull her out before Tall's kithood is over

Heatherstar is using Tallpaw as a political pawn and Tallpaw is too young and hurt to realize it. He was given to her sister, Dawnstripe, and endlessly praised for his skill and talent in a time where he NEEDED positive feedback

Which is making his relationships with his parents worse

All the while, there's VIOLENCE. Regular raids and counterstrikes. Cats die and get injured, and it only escalates as Tall gets older and Cedarstar is reaching the end of his lives, hoping to end the conflict before then

And in all this chaos and uncertainty, there comes Sparrow.

Just a trader and an honored guest, there's been lots of these nomadic visitors since the time of Windstar herself, but they've become quite rare.

When Sandgorse dies suddenly in that collapse (TITLE DROP) Talltail has the push he finally needs. It's too much. He can't process this

Sparrow begs him to leave with them, they don't even need to confront anyone, just come!

IF IT SUCKS HIT DA BRICKS

I have tons of really nice little things planned for this part of the story. It's several chapters of Talltail being free.

He engages in the funeral rites of Wee Hen, asking if he may sit vigil for her. His new family is honored to allow it, Reena even tries to do it too and falls asleep

(Little sister energy)

They meet all sorts of people and go to many places. Talltail learns that the world is vast, and there's an endless amount of knowledge out here.

It all starts crashing down when him and Jake find a litter of abandoned kittens, and become parents.

They're a few moons old.. around the same age as his halfsibs back home.

It starts bringing back memories. He wonders how they're doing. If they made a nice grave for Sandgorse...

The sudden longing for his own mother strikes him like lightning.

For the first time in eons, he feels GUILT over leaving. He thought it was over-- he's living his own life now!

But what if they're hurt? What if there was a battle and he couldn't help? What if his mentor died and he didn't even know?

What kind of a horrible son doesn't even say goodbye?

The problems that made him leave seem so small now, and the homesickness is like acid leaking from his stomach, dissolving his guts and leaving him hollow

He's raising kits who will never know what it means to earn a title, or have a permanent home, or--

(Any of the other things he should have learned don't have meaning outside of clan culture. Things they wouldn't miss.)

He cherishes the memories he makes here, raising children with his mate, but something turns inside of Talltail. Like the groaning ache of a hundred stones on top of a decaying mineshaft

The REAL collapse is this. An existential crisis Talltail can't escape from.

And eventually, it comes tumbling down with one last, horrible nightmare.

In his dream, he came home only to find the sandy camp abandoned, the dens decrepit, full of musty scent and cobwebs.

Sandgorse was there. And they talked.

His dad was gruff as always, disappointed. But he didn't say anything the real Sandgorse would say.

The nightmare said, "You really did turn out like me. We both left your mother when she needed us. Turned our backs on our leader. And now we're both dead to WindClan."

Tall wakes up crying. Jake is there to comfort him, but the conversation they have is sad.

Jake tries to tell him that's all not true, and even if it WAS his dad, his dad sucked and would only say that to hurt him!

But... Tall can't believe it. Jake's right but also wrong. He IS all those horrible things.

And...... how can jake ever Understand? He does not know the Bonds of a Clan cat

(thought terminating cliche. Outsiders Cant Understand Our Bonds.)

He stays a few more days, but that nightmare was the end. And everyone sees the change.

The kits are apprentice-aged. He stayed until they would be old enough to keep up with the Algernauts.

And he says goodbye. He won't ever leave without saying goodbye ever again.

Jake says it doesn't have to be goodbye, he'll always love him, and they can visit! They can see each other again!

And Tall says yes. That this isn't the end. It's... see you later, my love.

(...but they both know how violent it's getting between Wind and Shadow. It isn't safe to visit.)

It is the end. But neither can admit it.

But after Tall is a fair distance away, one of his kits tackles him.

POSSIBLY Post-Tallstar's Collapse

Not sure if I'd put these in a novella or still make it part of it, but these are all directly related to the fallout of Tallstar's Collapse

Most likely is that there would be overlap between this and Brokenstar's Cataclysm, so the same events would be seen in different perspectives.

The kit's name is Fly. Tall has to wait for him to catch his breath and stop crying before they can talk.

Fly already lost parents before. He says he knows he can't make his dads stay together, "But PLEASE, papa, let me choose where I go this time!"

How could he say no? How could he send his son away after a plea like that?

He told him it would be hard. That he would be trained. That there would be dangerous fights.

Fly didn't care, he said he could be strong. He could do anything he needed to.

So... Tall took him to WindClan, where he became Flypaw. He became the warrior he promised he would be.

And Tall didn't notice how much the kid was changing until it was too late. Flytail took to it as if he was Clanborn-- but had to work twice as hard, fight thrice as viciously.

Though Talltail was graced with an Honor Title and open arms, he'd adopted his greatest rival.

Fly and Tall started competing for deputyship as soon as they finished training apprentices; Heatherstar had a fondness for the two of them.

In the end, Talltail won the spot by springing into action and saving Heatherstar's young nephew, a little golden tabby, from an adder.

Flytail continued as one of the more aggressive warriors in the Clan, surviving increasingly violent and bitter battles, until it came to a head in Heatherstar's Last Stand.

Her final battle as an old leader was a gruesome, definitive curbstomp in the last strategic point ShadowClan held above Carrionplace.

One of the losses was Lizardstripe-- neck snapped in Flytail's jaws.

Runningnose, and by extension, the oak-tree to his long-shadow, Brokentail, remembered this. Especially when Runningnose's father Mudfoot collapsed later that year.

As Talltail took leadership from the dying Heatherstar, a familiar regretful guilt wormed into his belly.

His son Flytail stood with a bloody mouth, eyes wet with sorrow, looking down at the leader Talltail once loved almost as much. Appreciating her sacrifice.

(secretly he didnt choose Deadfoot as his deputy just for his honor title or the battle move he invented... he chose him because there was a shocked, sorrowful look in his eyes at the fallen shadowclan cat. Sympathy seems more honorable in this moment.)

Tallstar is a wise leader... but his fatal flaw is naivety. How could he think he'd bring his son into WindClan, and not see the boy grow into a ferocious Warrior?

And naivety is what he displayed when he offered Raggedstar a peace deal. WindClan would keep the land, but they would pay a small tax of rabbits over the winter.

It was unprecedented. It was merciful. It was stupid.

When the winter was over, what would stop them from pushing further south?

Would they trade back the frogs and the flax, come summer?

On the blood and bones of so many warriors? As if giving up was ever an option?

Brokentail killed his father to prevent him from taking the deal, and reawakened Ripplestar's War Tactics.

BURN the peat. KILL the prey. OFFENSE is defense. A dead warrior is 10 less claws. A dead apprentice is 1 less warrior.

Stolen kittens are 1 more warrior on your own side.

Tallstar paid the ultimate price for letting Flytail follow him home that day. On the night of the massacre, Flytail went down fighting alongside a mate and a daughter. Dogpiled by Tangleburr and her squadron in revenge for Lizardstripe and Mudfoot.

Tallstar's granddaughter Stoneclaw, made a warrior and sitting for her vigil on that night, was the sole survivor of the little family.

The event stopped her from speaking again, like she's still sitting vigil.

Tallstar is a character who almost broke free of the control of the Clans. For a brief moment of his life, he was free.

He thought maybe he could change things a little, protect his Clanmates from the battles by being part of them, have the Mothermouth Moorland and protect the peace at the same time. But you CAN'T.

You can't fix broken systems without fundamentally changing them. He thought he could be a nice warlord and that would work on the Clan whose territory he had inherited. Power acts through people just as much as they act through power.

And that's Tallstar. He who travels the world, yet is never able to go far enough. Always falling just a little short of the point, believing that love and mercy is enough while blissfully ignorant of the pressures of pride and power.

Into this role, as a successor to this leader, Onestar is unwillingly thrust.

[leedee013]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 7 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 ILU have fun!!!!

AFTG ask game

I LOVE YOU TOO MWAH

all my answers are going to be under the "read more" because hoo boy.

When did you first read aftg?

I first read AFTG by listening to the first audiobook while riding around the bus and trains in Germany, then Seth died, I immediately needed to finish the series, and then I read the entire series in less than 48 hours rifp.

2. All For The Game or The Sunshine Court?

All For the Game. The Sunshine Court is about my son, Jean, but also... because he's my son I have a lot of points where I simply like what I wrote better! and a fair number of complaints with TSC, since a lot of the way Jean's trauma rears its head is far less realistic than how Neil's trauma rears its head.

3. Favourite scene(s)?

I won't lie, one of my favorite scenes is when Neil gets back from his father's home and the Foxes all sleep on the floor together. I'm a huge sucker for found family and hurt/comfort and MAN that scene ticked off all my boxes. It's the one that I'll actually go back every now and then to reread. Wymack's joke about "Wesninski" and that feeling of finally having a family gets to me literally every time. And blah blah yeah I also really love the mentality of Andrew dragging Wymack behind him as he crashes through everything just so he can get back to Neil's side.

4. If you could choose to make one fictional place from the books real, which one?

That place they go to when they get ice cream/milkshakes before going to Eden's Twilight! It sounds amazing

5. A character you think deserves to be more present in the books?

Hngh this is difficult because I do believe that, at least as far as AFTG goes (aka excluding TSC) the characters are all as present as they need to be. Neil is very tunnel-visioned, and I think that it's a solid amount of screentime for each character, so to say. Like my first thought was Seth, but it wouldn't have fit Neil's character for Seth to haunt him at all. Therefore, I think overall I'd liked to have seen more of Jean for purely selfish reasons. Also more Renee!

6. A non-canon ship you love?

Jean/Renee, Jean/Jeremy, Jean/Kevin, Renee/Riko, and then any mix and match of those characters in throuples/quoples/poly ships! I'm also a big fan of Dan/Renee because woooo enemies to lovers?

7. A part of the extra content you whole-heartedly agree with

Andreil never say "I love you" or get married. Also that Dan gets to take over the Foxes when Wymack retires. Also Sir and King but like. Who doesn't agree with that.

8. A crackship/crackships you've come to love

Rinee (Riko/Renee), I adore it so much okay. I love the healing energy of it all and also the way that Renee attracts the most strange and unhinged people to her.

9. Underrated aftg fanartist / fic writer (tag them!)(link if they're not on tumblr)

well obviously @capcavan @jtl-fics and @emry-stars-art can never be OVERrated. But I think the true underrated AFTG fanartist is @noomyart <3

10. A villain you think is fucking hot

well. uh. villain I guess would be Nathan. Antagonist? Riko

11. A side character you love and/or appreciate

NICKY, I love him so much. Also Renee. And Dan. And Matt. I'm so mad I can't just say Jean anymore since he's not really a side character anymore GAH

12. Favourite narrative foil?

I adore the Riko/Neil narrative foil. Both the sons that were not wanted, both having their lives attached to Exy and using it as a way to solidify their freedom/independence, while Neil had someone who tried to save him and Riko could only ever try to save himself.

13. Favourite narrative symbolism?

In general my favorite narrative symbolism are the keys; how they unlock opportunities for Neil; how they are signs of trust that others put in him; how they are something I don't think he ever thought he'd have (solidity/a home). I also love how much symbolism they hold for him, as well.

14. A character you would actually get along with in real life

Nicky (we'd bond over escaping our parents by running to Germany and using each other as an excuse to practice German) or Matt (because he's chill he's fun and he reminds me a lot of some of my actual friends from college).

15. A character you love but would deck in real life

Neil lmao

16. How did you even get here?? How did you discover AFTG?

I was browsing the Banana Fish tag and saw a post that was like "hey! do you wish that you had a series that was everything you loved about Banana Fish but with way more of Eiji pole-vaulting? then you should check out All for the Game for its mafia-infused sports anime vibes! and huzzah I haven't gotten off the hook yet

17. Would you play exy?

I feel like I'd be pretty good at it if I'd put my mind to it. It seems like fun and also I'm a bit of a masochist so I think the rougher plays would be really fun!

18. A fancast you will never let go of

Tbh I don't really have a fancast for any of the characters

19. A fancast you love that is super silly

I did see a guy the other day who made me double take and go KEVIN???? in my head if that counts

20. Which character would be the last to die in a actual zombie apocalypse?

Probably Renee tbh because she's unsuspecting, can broker peace between people who are fighting, and has absolutely no issue wielding and using knives in fights.

21. Would andrew minyard have beef with you?

Idk I feel like we'd vibe really well but wouldn't necessarily be close. He might get annoyed at how go-with-the-flow I am, though

22. Hyperspecific aro and or ace kevin headcanon?

I enjoy these headcanons and seeing people write them but I personally don't ever write him as either aro or ace. All the power to those who do though <3

23. Something you are very sure will happen in TSC2

Trojans win and 2. Jean meets the Foxes again before/after a game and it's emotional

24. Nicky or Allison? (Character wise and personality wise seperate)

I'm biased but Nicky. I relate way too hard to his story to not be biased here. But also I relate heavily to Allison and love her as well. I think she's also a lot more underappreciated out of the two, and gets a lot of unfair hate.

25. You're now only allowed to ship Kevin with one person (1) who is it?

man you're really out here discriminating against me and my poly ship here /t, but if it's only one person then I'd say Jean because again, I'm biased.

26. A 2000s song any one/ship/group of character would listen to

I feel like Andrew would secretly adore Lady Gaga's Poker Face and know all the lyrics even if he'd never sing along.

27. A detail or element from an older draft you would've loved to see in the final draft

LMAO so. I'm personally a fan of the version where Riko shot Kevin because Neil dodged/Kevin dove in front of him. I don't think I would have swapped the ending that we got for it instead, but I did think that it would have been an interesting change.

Also Riko and Kevin with longer hair

28. If you had to kill a fox. (Seth doesnt count.)

Aaron, because oh boy that poor medical student is probably already begging for some anvil to drop on him from the heavens

Question 29 for jean! Name a favorite Jean dialogue/quote

All of them because Jean is my favorite but also I think I'm going to go with "I will endure. I will endure. I will endure" because it's the first one I found while flipping through my copy of TSC and skimming for lines I thought were powerful. A classic is "Did a week away from the court damage your ball-battered brain?" (TSC 24), though. And then of course, as a Jeanee fan, the entire conversation between Jean and Renee on pages 68-69 where they talk about finding the joy in small things in life and taking a chance on himself and and

anyway hello thank you for coming to my TED talk

[himehikoshrine]

Himehiko Timeline

This is my best attempt to gather the information we get about the Tamasaka Himehiko line and thus the game universe timeline. It is based on what I've found in the game and bonus material, but it may yet be incomplete. If you have any information I'm missing, please let me know. It's also always possible we get more lore drops in extra material.

It'll be behind a cut, so I will edit any additional information into the post. If I add things, I'll try to keep track here of when the last edit was. This will obviously contain spoilers for the full game (especially Kisa's route - major spoilers for Kisa's route) as well as bits of side material. Specifically the First Anniversary Short Story and the Summer Light Novel, though also the pre-release short stories on the website and others.

Shout out to the other people who seem to have independently attempted the same project, including Anemone (@ snowblossom_jj on twitter) for something to double check myself against. Before I go right into the Himehiko Timeline, I'm going to put in some Japanese Theater History for context, though it's worth noting none of this is referenced specifically in the game and may differ within the Jack Jeanne universe.

As always, happy to answer questions via asks or elsewhere if you have them.

Japanese Theater History potentially of note.

1374 - Kan'ami (観阿弥) and 12 year old son Zeami (世阿弥) perform what would become known as Noh for the teenage shogun Ashikaga Yoshimitsu (足利 義満) who is so impressed by Zeami he gives him patronage. Zeami is educated in court and eventually becomes the Shogun’s lover. At 22, after his father’s death, he takes over the family troupe and begins to integrate his classical education and Buddhist instruction into the art. He goes on to formalize Noh, write plays for it, and treatises on acting and the Philosophy of Drama that continue to be informative to this day. 

Of note, the idea of “hana” 『花』 is one of his core tenants, and his formulation of “the flower of youth” vs “the flower of experience” is referenced in game, though not credited. 

1603 - Izumo no Okuni (出雲 阿国) creates Kabuki. It is originally performed by a troupe of all women.

1629 - Women are banned from Kabuki for “morality” leading to the form being taken over by “young men” who are later also banned for being too sexy, in moves through the next several decades. 

Probably by the timeline we are given for Tamasaka, in our world, Kabuki would have been established as an all male form of theater, with men playing women’s roles referred to as “onnagata” as they are to this day. It is unclear if this history happens the same within the Jack Jeanne universe, as no mention of Kabuki itself happens in game, and Tamasakaza isn’t placed within it as a larger tradition, despite being described in much the way Kabuki is, suggesting perhaps in the Jack Jeanne universe, history diverges at some point.

1680s - Bunraku, (then known as Jourui) a form of Puppet Theater takes on something close to its modern form and starts becoming increasingly popular. Many famous Kabuki plays were originally written “for the puppets” and the literary tradition is considered overlapping. 

1683 - Chikamatsu Monzaemon (近松 門左衛門, 1653 – 1725) has his first verified play produced. He is sometimes called the “Shakespeare of Japan”. He would continue writing plays for both puppet theater and kabuki, until around 1715. He was a writer, but did not act. He is most famous for his lovers’ suicides. 

HIMEHIKO TIMELINE

1st Himehiko - His name was Chuza Tsukihiko (中座月彦), and he lived sometime in the “mid-Edo period’ about 300 years before the present. Specific dates are hard to pin down, but we’re looking at around (or maybe a little before or after) 1700. It is likely not exactly 300 years ago, give or take a few years, as no one in the game mentions any kind of anniversary, and you’d assume the 300th (or 200th of the established settled troupe) would be marked and mentioned.

He’s canonically called a "bishonen" and was known to be able to play both male and female roles. At this time, in our universe, no women would have been allowed on stage. We know his troupe was all male.

He receives the patronage of a local lord (much like Zeami) - the lord of the castle in Hiraki - Hiraki Matsubara (開松原). Matsubara was considered very talented and is credited with the town flourishing under his rule as well as the creation of Tamasaka and Tamasakaza.

He is given the name Tamasaka Himehiko 玉阪 比女彦 which he takes on, and which becomes the title passed down. (The name "Tamasaka" is mentioned to maybe be a play on the word 『偶さか』 implying a "rare, unusual kind of talent")

Though the troupe itself will be considered a traveling troupe for the next 100 years, it seems to have a sort of home base on that lord’s land. They are given land for a stage there, the forebearer of the Tamasaka theater that exists to day.

We know little about him, but one thing we know is that he was quite fond of the story of the catfish god in Ayahama (which is historically near where Hiraki Castle is), and used to dance in tribute there. The relationship between Tamasaka and the hot springs goes back all the way to him.

There is one Wisteria tree on Mt. Oodate, and he is said to have been fond of it. (Fuji Musume - 藤娘- is one of the most famous Kabuki dance/plays, though technically it would have, in our universe, postdated the first generation Himehiko, it is likely a reference).

He dies of “severe, violent emotional suffering”. 

He is enshrined in Himehiko shrine, and may actually be buried there. He is worshipped there as a god of theatre, and a bringer of fortune in other endeavors as well. This would imply the shrine is established well before the troupe settles.

2nd - The next Himehiko is the elder brother of the first. We don’t know if the rule that was later in place that the title be passed to someone under the age of 30 was in place yet. It may imply that the troupe, like Zeami’s was a family affair at least in part, from the beginning, if his brother was considered the natural next head.

3rd - The eldest son of the 2nd.

History that happens at an unclear point in the timeline after this --

At some point after this, though it does not seem to be specifically after the 3rd, in the way it’s told, one generation of Himehiko will choose to pass the title onto an adopted son. Rather than the adopted son taking the Chuza name as well, this son becomes the start of a new branch family, known as the Tamasaka branch. From this point on, the title will occasionally pass between the Tamasaka and Chuza branches, eventually developing into quite the rivalry. The Tamasaka branch became known as “true flowers” or the more talented of the two branches. The exact timeline of all of this unclear.

At some point, after several early, tragic deaths of people carrying the Himehiko name, both branches of the family begin to speak of a “Himehiko Curse” - which causes those who take the title to die young. They believe in this so strongly that people from both branches will sometimes pass up the title, or defer it, to try to avert the fate. However, it doesn’t seem to be something that affects every Himehiko. Just enough of them for it to be considered a threat in the family.

How it operates and if it is one of the genuine supernatural forces in the Jack Jeanne universe is unclear. The first Himehiko dies of severe mental suffering. The cause of death for others is not established.

It is possible that, either supernaturally or non-supernaturally, it is the distillation of the stress, politics, rivalries, burdens, and expectations of the theatre.

All of this happens and is well established between the 3rd Himehiko and the 10th Himehiko, but specifics are vague.

At some point, a rule is added that the title is past to a young man under the age of 30.

It seems some people may pass the title down before they die, rather than it only transferring via death. It is unclear the effect this has on the curse within the narrative of it. At another point, rather than taking the full stage name of Himehiko, each generation takes only half as their stage name - either Hime or Hiko, plus an additional character. This was done to try to avoid the “curse”. It does not work. 

4th - A tree in the courtyard of Himehiko Shrine, which contains many trees, including many fruit trees, is said to have been planted by him. All we get is that the tree is “planted in the lucky direction.”

It is possible this is an Ume tree, which apparently can be considered a protective charm against evil and is traditionally planted in the northeast corner of a garden. Other than this, I can’t find much — the other mentions of lucky directions change by year, and don't seem to be what’s being referred to.

5th - nothing is known

6th - nothing is known

7th - Established Tamasaka Drama School as per random Neji encounter. Neji says he ‘fell in love with…’ and is then cut off. We get no other info from that encounter, or elsewhere. 

It’s possible that the establishing of the Drama School coincided with the settling of the Troupe from a traveling one to a stationary one, but that’s not mentioned directly. If so, that would put 7th at about 100 years after the 1st, and about 200 years before the present.

It is unclear if from this point on all Himehiko’s also serve as Principal of the School or not.

At some point “several generations back (from present)” the principal of the school plants Night Jasmine on Mt. Oodate.

(About 200 years ago, the Takashina Style of dance is founded as a family dance tradition. It has no association with Tamasakaza, but given it’s part of the timeline we get, plus the Kabuki/Nihon Buyo overlap in our universe, I’m putting it on here.)

8th - The tree he planted at the shrine is the most prominent one. No other info is known.

9th - nothing is known.

10th - From the Tamasaka Line. Very likely the older brother of the 11th - According to the Anniversary Short Story, he dies a shocking and tragic death (that would fit within the narrative of the Himehiko Curse). The title would then be passed to his younger brother.

11th - Real name Tamasaka Shikitoshi 玉阪 志木年 - stage name unknown. He is the current head of the troupe during the Meiji era merger of Hikari and Tamasaka, as depicted in the Anniversary Short Story. That takes place in 22nd year of the Meiji Era - 1889, giving us our first firm date. 

According to Tancho, the lead Hiko actor at the time was rather critical and nagging of him, but in the events depicted in Neji’s play, ultimately is willing to almost give his life to protect 11th.

In Neji’s telling of the events he is described as innovative, as well as a very shrewd politician. And rather indifferent or reckless about threats against his own life. 

He has two daughters and no sons. Presumably no one else in the Tamasaka branch has any sons of eligible age either. To prevent the name from passing back to the Chuza branch, and perhaps as a test on the limits of the Himehiko Curse, to see if it would spare women, Shikitoshi passes the title to his second daughter. 

We have no information on why not the first daughter - whether she was over 30, or less skilled, or didn’t want it - all we know is that he passed it to his second daughter.

12th - The second daughter of the 11th. Member of the Tamasaka Family. First and only female Himehiko. The tree she donated to the shrine is marked with an actor’s crest of clappers — something recognizable as specifically belonging to her. 

Despite being a woman, she was not just a figurehead, and actively acted in Tamasaka Plays. There is at least one that she was quite fond of, that involved a Kimono salesperson and a woman walking around on “Izayoi” - a play that the troupe stopped performing after her early and tragic death. 

Tagane was involved in a revival of this play at some point, likely a pretty clear sign of his loyalty to the Tamasaka Branch faction.

At some point, it is likely that she placed a platinum Kanzashi bearing her crest in a wooden box in a tree hollow near Himehiko Shrine, following the superstition and custom born out of the Tamasaka play “Tearful Kanzashi." “Tearful Kanzashi" depicts a young woman (the fourth daughter of a man with no sons, who is abused and locked away by her father in anger after her birth also kills her mother) putting the Kanzashi her lover gives her into a tree by a shrine she stops at to pray to be reunited with him in the next life, before throwing herself off a cliff. (For more, see the Summer Light Novel chapter).

This also takes place on the 16th night of the lunar cycle. It is unclear if the play is the same one — but since the summary is given to Suzu and Kisa by a Kimono salesman, it seems unlikely that it wouldn’t include that detail if it were the same — rather it seems likely Tearful Kanzashi predates the 12th, and Tamasaka just has a lot of plays that use "Izayoi" in them.

This may indicate that the 12th takes her own life like the woman in the play, but it’s all speculation beyond that her death fits within the narrative of the Himehiko Curse.

After her early, tragic death, the title passes back to the Chuza Branch, and the whole incident/experiment is considered a disaster. 

12th's older sister, and thus the surviving Tamasaka Branch go into hiding of some kind. She has children, thus continuing the line, under an assumed name. The Tamasaka branch retains supporters both in the troupe and the town, who believe that the Tamasaka branch have true talent that the Chuza branch lacks.

13th - Chuzu Dairi (中座内吏), stage name Uchihime (内比女).

After the death of the 12th, the title passes back to the Chuza line for the first time in 80 years. He quickly makes a new rule, reserving the Himehiko title for the Chuza branch, further pushing the Tamasaka branch into hiding and out of power.

We know he was born in the Meiji era (ended 1912) and lived until Showa (started 1926).

He had a strong interest in western style plays and musicals, and is the one who renamed the Tamasaka Drama School to Univeil Drama School, as well as changing the roles from Hiko and Hime to Jack and Jeanne within the school.

(For what it’s worth, Takarazuka is started in 1913. It was based heavily on western, particularly French musical Revue in direct contrast to Kabuki. It was started by a businessman in the city of Takarazuka as an all women’s theater company. Much of Jack Jeanne is based on a gender swap of Takarazuka as inspiration, but its timeline and the actual style of Tamasaka do not match Takarazuka. But this is a Himehiko Timeline so no more on Takarazuka for now.)

He apparently made a good deal of innovations to the troupe as well, and seems to have been quite active and hands on in both.

It’s hard to pin down how long and exactly when he lived and was in charge.

Kisa’s class being the 78th class would put the first numbered class in 1942, which is a particularly strange year for a traditional theater school in Japan for young, fit boys to be rebranding to a western aesthetic. It would literally be months after the attack on Pearl Harbor and several years into a war that greatly disrupted all forms of theater, calling most able bodied men to arms, rather than dance - so that’s something to consider when trying to fit the timeline. Perhaps there are years missing - a reversion to the old name, a pause in the numbering, but for some reason they pick up from where they left off, rather than restart? There is no indication in any material of any of this, either way.

14th - Takahiko (鷹彦) - the grandfather of Chuza Shuri, the current/18th Himehiko. Written with the character for “Hawk” and is noted as having very sharp eyes, but otherwise looking very much like Shuri. The game’s timeframe puts him taking up the title some time when black and white portraits were still most common, but recent enough that an old lady alive and walking around Tamasaka remembers him as a young man.

Apparently, he married a wealthy local family’s daughter after taking the position of Himehiko - and this old woman remembers having a crush on him at the time, and being disappointed - so one could guess that she was at least in her teens then.

The game’s menu actually says he’s the one who designed the school, rather than 13th - so perhaps Takahiko is the one who designed it architecturally - even if the rebrand happened before hand. 

15th - nothing specifically is known

16th - nothing specifically is known

17th - nothing specifically is known

We know nothing about these or the order they were in, but one was almost certainly Shuri's father. In the anniversary short story, Tancho mentions Shuri's father by name. His name seems to have been Chuza Osamu (中座倫). From what Tancho says, the implication is that Shuri's father maybe have been principal before him, whether right before or not is not clear, or if he served this role concurrent with the title of Himehiko or not is also unclear. As previously stated, it's unclear if Principal of the School and Head of the Troupe are jobs all Himehiko's serve as part of the title, or if only some do. So it's possible that he held one and not the other or one for longer than the other - i.e. continued running the school after passing the name down or something.

All we get is the name, and that Tancho both knew/knows him and what his preference for incense was/is (and that its different than Shuri's).

It is possible an uncle and/or brother of his also held the position, as there is a nephew of his in Tamasakaza right now, which means Shuri has at least one (almost certainly) older sibling.

18th - Chuza Shuri (中座秋吏), stage name Akihime (秋比女) (Written with the character for Autumn, a kanji from his given name).

Currently the principal who is not well liked by Tamasaka Elders. Still seems to technically be the head of the troupe, but displays no desire to actually do anything onstage and finds his obligations to the Troupe to be a chore. Considers himself decent enough at both dance and singing (apparently singing is something Chuza branch is usually considered weaker in, or so he says).

He is in tension with the board over many things - Chui says the situation around him is “worse than you know,” implying there may be far more going on than anyone tells Kisa, and thus the player. 

The Tamasaka Elders seem, from what we’re told, to want to make Univeil into more of a training school for Tamasaka (again?) - and Chuza is resistant to the idea.

19th - In a weekend event, the old lady in Tamasaka who tells Kisa about the 14th seems to state Akihime is the previous rather than current Himehiko (at least in the English). But everyone else seems to refer to him as the current one. Maybe she’s misremembering, maybe she’s got Opinions on his lack of participation and how much the board hates him - which she also mentions. Who knows.

The two candidates for the position seem to be Chui - the Tamasaka branch heir, and already seen as kind of a god, and Shuri's nephew (mentioned in a VERY missable Sou event on 8/1 - who is currently a Hime actor in Tamasaka, who is “treated like a king” as part of the Chuza family there. He apparently doesn’t resemble Shuri much.)

One presumes the Tamasaka board has its factions on which one they support, and, regardless, are preparing them to hold the position more to the boards liking than Shuri.

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

The Kenny hc trade anon knows you have em already. What I meant is GIVE US ALL OF IT. please. If ya want to. Not forcing ofc.

Ahhh!!! Ok. SOOOOO let me get goin with this im SO excited. There may not be alot cuz Ken isnt my number 1 but I still like him:

Unnatural eye color cus of the whole cthulu thing

Its probably yellow or purple depending on how youre feeling

Has scars from all the times he died

But they reset if he has an explosion related death

Learned how to stitch in case his sisters toys broke

Ended up using it to fix his own parka and clothes

Does small jobs for people in exchange for money

His parents steal it for their addictions tho the bastards

Makes seggsual jokes but not in the adult way

More like in the

"Ur mom"

Way

Sure hes lewd but no way an eight year old can know THAT much.

Hair is messy as shit

He kinda smellz... he cant help it tho he cant afford to shower

Has school lunch debt :(

Its ok tho his friends help him pay it back

But he had to eat cheese sandwhiches when his debt was low (i had to do that too)

Does crazy shit for the bit

Excellent tree climber but gets bruised so easy

Doesnt have a missing tooth to me, that tooth was a baby one not permanent

Loves frog and bug collecting

Will show you the scariest most ATROCIOUS looking bug and be like

"Guys look!"

And then everyone else shrieks

Draws "squidwards" on the whiteboard

His older brother moved out of the house

Or got kicked out

Idk

Has a horrible relationship with his parents

Based on a story of my friend but he ate dandelions and acted high once

Autistic/ADHD. Idk which one

Cuz i can look at him and picture both

Maybe he has both?

Im not touching gender but sexuality? Definetly a women lover. I don't see him liking men tbh

Bunny is cute tho

I just think he works better with Kelly (that one girl from GGWK) or Tammy (but shes a fifth grader sooo...eughhh...)

Got into his parents addiction stash

He now has bad habitz

That man listens to gorillaz you cant say otherwise

Either that or

Bimbocore music

Just to be silly

Hes not his fathers son

His mom had an affair

His hairs WAY too blonde

Kennys dad has dirty blonde and so does Karen and his brother

But he has bright blond/marigold

Doodles all over his work

Mr garrison had to take points off his assignments cuz of it

Perfectly fine with being a chick for pretend

Batman hyperfixation

Actually no

Superhero hyperfixation

Batmans just his favorite

Clear parellels with batmans costume and mysterions

Eats dirt

Sometimes it has bugs in it (extra protein)

Def the mf to say "peepee poopoo" at a sleepover to keep everyone up

Speaking of

Dont fall asleep near him

He will draw a weewee on your foorehead and give you a mustache

Quiet in class

Loud asf with his friends

Thats all of em!!! Enjoy anons!!!!

[tom-whore-dleston]

Until I Found You

Pairing: Xu Shangqi x !Avenger f. reader

Genre: angst + fluff + minimal smut

Warnings: questioning of the multiverse, mentions of death, crying, pillow talk, handjob, initial penetration

Summary: Shangqi questions how different his life would be in another universe, but realizes it’s not worth living in without you.  

Word Count: 1k

Notes: I went through the ‘if the multiverse was real’ trend on tik tok, hence why this is so feelsy 😅🥲 Huge thank you to @sparkledfirecracker for helping me with the angst and fluff aspects and to @geekygee01 for the finishing touches!! I greatly appreciate y’all 💖Remember to reblog and comment if you enjoyed what you read 😊

Read more from The Avengers Sweethearts AU

Shangqi enjoyed when you showered him with love and attention every now and then, but you noticed that he was more touchy feely than normal. It didn’t change the way you went about your day, nor did it change the way you love him. But you were curious as to what got him in this kind of mood. It got to the point where your signs of affection weren’t enough so after dinner, he dragged you into his room to passionately fuck you. An hour later, your lover spilled his taint inside you, pecking small kisses over your sweaty face.

Shangqi collapsed onto the bed next to you, lungs begging for fresh air as he came down from the blissful high that you brought him to. You giggled next to him, staring at the ceiling as if looking straight into the pearly gates of heaven. Your hands linked together in the middle of the bed, and then your eyes met like a magnet pulled you towards one another. 

“You still with me, Princess?” your super boyfriend asked, dragging his thumb over your hand. 

You smiled, “Yeah, just needed to catch my breath.”

“C’mere Princess, I wanna hold you.” You obligingly rolled over until your naked body was flush against Shangqi’s and he instantly wrapped his arms around you. 

“Someone’s extra cuddly and affectionate today,” you teased, smiling until your cheeks were sore. What Shangqi was about to say next made you regret poking fun at him.

“I’m sorry if I’m too much, baby. I just don’t want you to leave me.” He hid his face into the crook of your neck. Your heart hurt like a bee had stung it and the wound swelled against your chest. 

“Woah, now,” you frowned, worry and melancholy laced in your voice. “I love you and I would never leave you. Why would you ever think that?” Not a peep came from Shangqi as his face stayed buried there. You called out his name, almost like a whisper, causing him to peek his head out. His brown eyes glistened with tears that were aching to fall down his face.

“This is gonna sound silly.” As much as you wanted to retort and disagree with him, you allowed him to speak his mind. “Last night, I had a dream that you died while fighting the Scarlet Witch–well, Wanda–and I obviously didn’t take your death very well, so I joined her in helping her find her sons. And in turn, she promised to help me find a universe where we could be together again. The thing is, Wanda knew all along that there wouldn’t be a universe where you loved me because I followed the footsteps of my father. You only saw me as a killer.” Shangqi paused. Not because he was waiting for a response from you, but because he was fighting the urge to choke on his words. 

“You know something. I was always curious about the multiverse. After my father died, I wondered what my life would be like if both my mother and father were still alive. Maybe I wouldn’t have had to spend my whole childhood learning to become an assassin. Maybe my relationship with my sister wouldn't be so strained. Maybe my mom and dad would have grown old together like they wanted. We could’ve been happy. We could’ve been a real family. But then I realized other things. I would��ve never met Katy. I would’ve never taken the rings. I wouldn’t have met your dad and become an Avenger.” Shangqi’s voice began to crack as a tear finally trickled down his cheek. “Most of all, I would never have met you.” His head burrowed into your neck again, sobbing while squeezing you tenderly against him. Your fingers combed through his hair tossled from your previous activities. You allowed him to cry until he was ready to continue.

“I don’t know how many other universes there are—I’d actually rather not know—-but I don’t ever want to live in a universe without you in it. I can’t live without you, Princess.” His words struck a chord deep inside you. He plucked that chord inside you as his wet tears permeated your collarbone. It didn’t register that you had been crying until a salty tear dripped onto your lip and you struggled to breathe out of your nose. 

“Shangqi, look at me.” Your hand caressed his tear stained cheek, causing him to peer into your loving eyes. His vision was blurry due to his tearful eyes, but he still managed to find your gaze. “It was just a dream. I’m here and I’m safe with you. I didn’t have the privilege of jumping universes with Strange and America, but I doubt that you became your father in every universe. And I refuse to believe that I hated you in every universe.” You pressed your lips to his temple, leaving them there for a few seconds. He grinned slightly behind the sniffles. 

“Your mind is playing games with you and I don’t want you listening to them. I love you, Shangqi, and nothing will ever change that.” While you talked, Shangqi rested his hand over yours on his cheek, drawing circles over your hand with his thumb. He loved how you always knew the right words to say that would make him feel better. After the years of pain he went through, you and your love were exactly what he needed. 

Another tear trailed down your eye as your lips curled into a warm smile. “No matter how many universes there are in the multiverse, I hope every variant of me is lucky enough to be loved by you.”

Shangqi wasted no time in pulling you closer to him so he could kiss you. His lips molded against yours as if they were made to be sculpted together. He traced your bare skin with his taut hands, cherishing your ethereal curves. Without breaking the kiss, you threw your leg over his hips, hoisting yourself up so you can straddle him. Shangqi grinned against your lips at the sudden maneuver. 

“Let me prove to you that I love you and will never leave you.” As you moved down his legs, Shangqi watched you with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Grasping his cock, you stroked him until he was pulsing with desire in your hands. His raspy whimpers caused your core to slicken and throb with need. You were eager for him to fill you with his love.

“I love you, Princess. I love you so much.” You gazed into his brown eyes as you sunk on top of him, mouths falling ajar and eyebrows furrowed in the middle. Once you were connected at your groins, your lips crashed against his, drinking each other’s moans while your hips moved against one anothers to a beat that was made for the two of you.

Navigation | Main Masterlist | Xu Shang-Chi/Shangqi Masterlist

[always-tired-lilbitch]

OKAY I'VE PROCRASTINATED THIS FOR LONG ENOUGH. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON HEADCANONS. NOW:

Valka is bisexual and Gobber is gay, they became friends before Valka met Stoick (of course she knew him, cause he was the chief's son, but they hadn't become friends/lovers yet).

Valka and Gobber had been in the same gay friend group since they were teens.

Gobber actually introduced Stoick to Valka after her girlfriend broke up with her. She was really heartbroken and swearing she would never date a woman again; in a way she was right.

Gobber, at some point between becoming Stoick's best friend and presenting him to Valka, had a crush on him and asked him out; Stoick was surprised and flattered by this, but politely declined. After that their friendship was completely unaffected by this.

Hiccup is trans, no doubt, and when he came out of the closet he chose his name based on the story of his Great Grand Uncle Hiccup Horrendous Haddock II, "the dragon whisperer". He was a dragon simpathiser that Hiccup admired and read about in his family's sagas; although the sagas don't say anything good about him and his story is quite tragic, Hiccup III felt some sort of connection that he didn't understand (he realised soon enough) and so he chose his name accordingly.

His coming out thing is lowkey hinted at (no, of course it's not canon, let me dream) during the movies and the series: he continously wants to be like other vikings, he talks about how he disappointed his father because he wanted a more vikingish son, he compares himself with other vikings, when he meets his mother she tells him how he takes after her (even physically, if you think about it), etc.

Valka instantly respects her son's new name and pronouns because she is also queer, and if you're thinking "there's no way she knew his new name, she wasn't there when he chose it" I'm just gonna remind you this particular viking won't shut up, so he surely told him "I'm Hiccup, son of Stoick the vast" or something like that while she was taking him to the nest and she brushed it off cause she knew it couldn't be possible, then she saw the scar and her queer little brain made everything fit together.

Hiccup gets both crushing gender dysphoria from seeing himself reflected in her mother and an incredible amount of gender euphoria as he realises his identity doesn't need to be that performatively masculine and that his mother is quite queer herself, so in the end being like her is something he prides himself on.

In the third movie we see flashbacks of Hiccup being a little boy and he is called by his chosen name already, so we know he wasn't closeted for a long time and also that he came out really young.

At some point in "Race to the edge" Tuffnut calls Hiccup "sister", this hints to the fact that Tuffnut is also trans, and they sometimes call each other "sister" jokingly. Before he came out of the closet his name was some other consonant followed by "uffnut", but he swapped it for the "t" (for trans).

The sentences "Excuse me, barmaid. I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring. I ordered an extra large boy with beefy arms. Extra guts and glory on the side. This here. This is a talking fish bone." are so trans of him, he even uses "offspring" instead of son. This is also why Stoick feels really bad after telling him "You're not my son", realising just after he closes the door (which doesn't even shut completely, like the closet's) that he has disrespected and disregarded his son's identity. He "fixes" this later in the movie when he tells him how proud he is (p r i d e).

Astrid is also trans, t4t, love wins!

In the third movie, Valka and Gobber have accepted Eret in their gay best friend squad; they even fight together as a team at the end. But there's more, because Gobber spends the movie flirting with Eret and it shows they are quite close. Furthermore, when the dragons leave, Eret and Gobber stand together, and then, during the wedding Gobber is holding the bouquet and when it flies out of his "grasp" Eret is the one who grabs it. They are gay, your honour, I rest my case.

Eret is sooo gay, he does not only like men, he actively dislikes women romantically and sexually. We can see this in the way he refuses to even pay attention to Ruffnut's attempts at seduction. In the third movie he has already told her that he is gay, and she has taken it badly in the "I'm going to take this personally, not as something that just is" cause she is a bit dumb (but we love her).

Last headcanon for today is the main characters' pronouns and sexualities: Stoick (straight (up) go/ne), Valka (She/they, demisexual bisexual), Gobber (He/him, gay ass), Eret (He/him, closeted gay until the last movie), Hiccup (He/him->He/they after the second movie, bisexual ace), Astrid (She/they, bisexual), Fishlegs (He/him, bisexual), Snotlout (He/him, deep-in-the-closet gay), Tuffnut (He/him, aroace), and Ruffnut (She/her, straight).

[soramei]

From Resentment (hhj)

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader (she/her)

Summary: After a fated meeting involving a cute and fluffy puppy, you found yourself drawn to Hwang Hyunjin: the school prince. Everybody in high school loved him. It was hard not to. Not only was he rich, smart, and athletic, but he was also incredibly kind-hearted.

However, one day seemingly out of the blue, everything that you thought Hyunjin was came crashing down.

Now a freshman in university, you were excited to live out your dreams. That was, until Hyunjin came hurtling back into your life like an uncontrolled meteor. His presence threw a curveball on all your plans, and would eventually change your perspective on everything that you thought you knew.

Genre: studentl!hyunjin au, angst, enemies to lovers

Warnings: cursing, tw puking

Word Count: 8.8k

Masterlist

A/N: Not an Intentional update but a hyunjin oneshot!! disclaimer: no aspect of hyunjins personality here was drawn from real life — irl hyunjin is a ray of sunshine <3

You looked at your math homework, proud that you got all the answers correct. Since it was a slow afternoon at your job today, you had extra time to focus on your homework. The boss at the convenience store you worked at allowed you to have your homework out, as long as it was hidden behind the cash register.

As you stared at the rest of your homework, you started to feel the weight of tenth grade pile up on you. Because it was your first year of high school, you were still trying to adjust to everything; your grades, your teachers, and all the new students walking around the halls.

You stuffed the rest of your homework in your backpack. It was the end of your shift, and you wanted to go home as soon as possible to start with the rest of your studying. Crap. No matter how hard you tried to zip up your backpack, it wouldn’t close. After trying one more time, the zipper tore from your backpack.

You cursed under your breath. You couldn’t afford to buy a new backpack right now.

You had just been able to afford your new school uniform by taking up extra shifts at the convenience store, and you still needed money for your grandmother’s prescriptions. You sighed, annoyed to have another monetary stressor weighing on your shoulders.

Walking outside with your now torn backpack, your eyes widened at the group of boys in front of you. You immediately recognized them from behind.

The school princes. These three seniors were all known for three things: being extremely smart, handsome, and talented.

On the left was Seungmin, and from what you’ve heard, he was the smart and quiet one. He was always helping the teachers, being the class president and all. Any time a girl or a boy needed academic help, Seungmin was there and happy to assist.

The person on the right was Jisung. With his charming and charismatic personality, he had dated tens upon tens of girls in his grade. Just in the last year. It helped that he was really good looking — and also stinkin’ rich. His father was a notorious restaurateur, and with him being the first son, he was basically given unlimited spending rights.

The only person richer than Jisung was the boy in the center of them both: Hwang Hyunjin. This boy was the school prince. The prince of princes. He somehow managed to participate in music clubs, engage in study groups, and captain the soccer team all the while keeping up excellent grades. Every girl that Jisung had dated was said to have been rejected by Hyunjin first. That was his only flaw: he was notoriously cold to any and all romantic confessions.

You followed behind the three princes, staring at your torn up sneakers. You knew you didn’t exist in their world, but even being near three handsome and rich teenage boys made you nervous.

Suddenly, you heard a whimper coming from behind a bush to the left of you. It sounded like a hurt animal.

Worried and curious, you walked over to the bush to see what it was.

It was a puppy. Small and fluffy, it looked up at you with it’s beady black eyes and cried out. His paw was bleeding.

You panicked. Having never seen a hurt puppy before, you had no idea what to do. You called out for help.

“Help!” you cried, hoping that somebody had heard your call for help. You desperately wanted to help this hurt puppy, but you hesitated to touch it, afraid that you would hurt the animal even more.

The puppy howled in pain, making your panic rise. You were about to call out for help again, when you heard somebody running up behind you.

“What is it?” The voice asked.

“I-I don’t know. I just saw this dog here, and-and his paw is bleeding,” you anxiously stuttered.

“Here, let me take a look.”

You heard the voice behind you, so you shuffled over to make room.

It was Hwang Hyunjin. The person that responded to your cry for help was the most popular and well-liked person in the school. You were shocked, a bit intimidated actually, so you silently moved to the side for him. His black hair shone in the sunlight as he bent down to examine the dog.

“Come here, boy,” he chirped. The puppy listened, and started limping to him. “Something hurt you, didn’t it.”

He stood up, picking the puppy up along with him.

“C’mon,” he gestured with his head, “my vet isn’t too far from here actually. We can make it by walking.”

You silently nodded and followed him.

He was right. The walk to the veterinarian clinic, though very awkward, wasn’t too far. The clinic was empty at this time of day, with the receptionist being the only person in the room.

“Hyunjin! Always a pleasure,” the receptionist beamed. It seemed like Hyunjin’s likeability wasn’t only confined to your school. “My, what do we have here?”

“There’s something wrong with his paw,” Hyunjin tried to show the receptionist where the blood was coming from, “is the doctor free right now?”

“As a matter of fact, he is,” the receptionist said whilst checking the schedule. “I’ll take this little boy to the back where he can get prepped for the veterinarian.”

Hyunjin handed the puppy carefully to the receptionist. The receptionist took out a crate for the dog, put him in, and then disappeared through the back door. The two of you were now left alone in the waiting room.

“Uhm,” you coughed, “thank you. I know you probably want to get back to your friends, so you can leave now.”

“No, I’ll stay,” he looked at you and smiled, “those idiots are just playing LOL at the PC room anyways. Plus, I want to see how this little boy turns out.”

You smiled back at him, nodding your head. A few moments of awkward silence passed.

“I’m Hyunjin by the way,” he said.

“I know. I’m Y/n.”

“You’re in your first year, right?” he said, looking at the colour of your uniform.

“Yeah, it’s so hard to get used to though. I’m trying my best with my homework, but I think this school stuff just doesn’t click with me,” you rambled.

“Oh?”

“I want to go into dance. I’ve never been able to afford professional lessons, but I’ve always wanted to go to university for dance. My grandparents said they would let me if my school grades were high.” You didn’t know why you were giving your life story to Hyunjin. He just had this natural charisma that made you want to spill everything to him. It was the way he looked at you with those cat-like eyes.

“I know what you mean. It took me forever to convince my parents for me to major in dance. I got in by early admittance, but I’m sure they still have their reservations about my major.”

“You’re majoring in dance?” you asked, eyes wide.

He smiled. “I’ve loved dancing ever since I could remember. It’s my passion, and truthfully, the only thing I’ve got going for me.”

You were shocked. At school, Hyunjin was known for so many things other than dancing. Hell, you didn’t even know he enjoyed dancing and you thought you’d heard everything about him already.

The two of you chatted for a while longer before the vet came out with the now happy looking dog.

“It seemed like this little guy got into a fight with something, and he got a pretty large gash on his paw. Luckily, it wasn’t bleeding too much so I just gave him some anaesthetic and stitched it right up.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank god he isn’t too hurt.”

“Yes, it’s good that it wasn’t too bad,” the veterinarian agreed. “I’m assuming this is your dog? As soon as you finish with the bill, I can release this little guy and the both of you are ready to go.”

Oh yeah. The bill.

Although you knew you couldn’t afford to pay the vet bill, you didn’t know where this little dog would go if you couldn’t take him home. You did the mental calculations, and if you worked some extra shifts, you could probably be able to pick up the bill today. Buying a new backpack could be saved for another day.

“Sure, where can I pay?” you asked.

“Just over by the receptionist.” The veterinarian pointed.

You walked over to the receptionist, and she handed the bill over to you.

You almost fainted.

Just the anaesthetic and the stitches alone cost over two hundred dollars. This was extremely over your budget, and probably even more than the amount in your savings. You felt uneasy.

“Uhm, actually, I don’t think I can-”

“Do you take cash?”

Hyunjin had interrupted you, walked up to the receptionist, and pulled out his wallet. He peaked over your shoulder and took out a huge wad of cash to hand to the receptionist.

“Hyunjin, you don’t have to,” you begged. You felt bad that this guy you didn’t even know had just offered to cover you for over two hundred dollars.

“Think of it as a good luck gift from a fellow dancer.” He smiled.

That was when it clicked. You didn’t know what clicked, but it just did. It was his smile. It was the way the corners of his eyes crinkled up and how the corners of his lips pinched at the end. You now understood why all the girls at school were in love with him. He was quite literally perfect.

You thanked him profusely, even after the two of you had left the clinic. With the dog in your hand, you walked side by side with Hyunjin.

“So,” he started, “have you thought of a name for this guy yet?”

Oh yeah — he was your dog now. “Hmm, I don’t know yet.”

“What about Coco?”

“Coco?”

“Yeah, let’s see if he likes it.” Hyunjin leaned in and cooed at the little puppy. “Hi, little Coco!”

The puppy’s eyes lit up, and with his tongue stretched out, he started panting.

“I guess he likes it,” Hyunjin smiled. God, his smile could melt all of Antarctica.

“Coco it is.” You poked at Coco’s nose.

Hyunjin was about to say something back to you when his phone buzzed. He took a peak, rolled his eyes, then smiled. “My friends are god awful at games. I swear, they can’t even win one round without me. You’re okay with going home alone?”

He was going to walk you home? Could he be any more perfect?

You nodded your head. “Thank you, Hyunjin. I’ll pay you back for the bill one day.”

“No need,” he winked. “Like I said, it’s a good luck gift. Oh, and you can ask me if you need help with any school work. Anything to help a fellow dancer.”

He waved goodbye, then went running off in the other direction. You held Coco close to you, heart pounding. Although you didn’t want to be like all the other girls who fell for him, you felt like you were already falling for Hyunjin.

-

The next day, you had planned to go shopping for dog supplies after school. After a really long and arduous debate with yourself, you decided to sacrifice all of your savings in order to buy everything that Coco needed. You knew Hyunjin owned a dog himself, so throughout the whole day, you worked up the nerve to ask Hyunjin to come with you.

At the end of last period, you gathered all your stuff from your desk and headed to the soccer field where you knew Hyunjin and his friends would be. Whilst you crossed the field, you noticed Jisung staring at you. You found his stare intimidating, but you tried to brush it off. He then whispered something in Hyunjin’s ear.

“Hi, Hyunjin,” you said anxiously, biting your lip. “Umm, do you want to come with me to shop for Coco?”

He stared at you for a couple seconds, then, a look of disgust appeared on his face. “Why? So you can use my wallet again?”

You stared back at him, wide eyed. Who was this person? It wasn’t the Hyunjin that so graciously helped you out yesterday.

“W-what? No!” you exclaimed. “I-I just wanted your opinion…”

“Sure,” Hyunjin smirked coldly, “opinion my ass.”

“Hyunjin,” tears were pooling in your eyes, “I don’t understand.”

“If you need money so much, here.” He reached in his pocket and turned up a wad of cash, throwing it at your feet. “Just don’t come to me next time. And buy yourself a new pair of shoes while you’re at it.”

You looked down at the money, trying to hold back your tears. Why was Hyunjin being like this? You didn’t understand. His two jockeys beside him didn’t even bother to stop him. As you tried to stop yourself from crying, you felt your sadness turn into rage.

“I don’t need your stupid money,” you said, kicking the cash back to him. “Maybe you can use your daddy’s money to buy yourself a new personality.”

Hyunjin’s two friends tried to hold back their snickers at your words. Hyunjin heard, turned around, and gave them both death stares.

You didn’t bother to listen to whatever he was going to say next and simply stomped away, rage burning inside you. Everything about him was a lie. His charming and charismatic personality, his generosity, his kindness. They were all lies. He really was nothing but a rich, spoiled boy living with his father’s money.

There was rage behind every step you took. Wiping away your tears, you headed to your locker. You didn’t need him anyways; it was better to realize his true personality earlier rather than later. Hands shaking from anger, you dialed the combination to your locker.

“Hey, sorry about what happened earlier.” A voice came from behind you. “He can be a real jerk sometimes.”

It was Jisung. You rolled your eyes. You didn’t want to see him either.

“Why didn’t you do anything about it then?” Your voice came out shaky. It was obvious that you had cried.

“Once he starts, there’s no stopping him. It’s usually better to let him finish uninterrupted, or else he will get more mad.”

“Oh,” you said. Your hatred for Hyunjin grew even more.

“I could come with you, though. I don’t know much about dogs, but I can help you carry your bags.”

“I don’t know…”

“C’mon, no way you can carry everything by yourself.”

You hesitated. “Okay, I guess.”

And so, you left for the pet store with Jisung, still confused about everything that had happened. It was strange with him. He was nice and cracked a joke every now and then, but it was just different from being with Hyunjin. At least he was nice, you thought.

Your trip went well. You managed to buy everything you needed for Coco. In a turn of events, Jisung had actually come in handy as he offered to carry the huge bag of dog food you bought. He even offered to buy you a coffee.

“Thanks for all your help, Jisung.” You stood outside the door of your apartment, smiling at him.

“No problem, gives me an excuse to work out my guns.” He pretended to flex his arms.

You choked back a laugh.

“You should get going now. It’s late,” you said.

“Alright,” he started to leave. “Hey, if you see me in the halls, feel free to say hi.”

You nodded and waved to him as he turned and walked away, remembering his words. Every time you saw Jisung in the school hallways, you gave him a small wave in which he happily returned. However, whenever you saw him walking with Hyunjin, you made sure to purposely avoid them. You didn’t want any negativity in your life.

You kept up the waves, and soon, waves turned to small conversations which soon turned to flirting. By the end of the semester, you and Jisung somehow ended up as a couple. Jisung was polite and sweet, unlike a certain person. With every free moment you had, you hung out with Jisung — all the while avoiding Hyunjin.

The two of you stayed a couple for the rest of Jisung’s senior year. Somehow, the two of you had even kept up your relationship throughout your whole high school experience. It was hard at times as he went to university, but with a lot of effort, you had made your relationship work out. You barely had time to talk with him, but you enjoyed the little time that you did have. Jisung had never even once mentioned Hyunjin when you were together, and with time, you had totally forgotten about that jerk. You weren’t even sure if they were still friends.

You worked hard in school and reaped all the benefits. Your rank had consistently been in the top twenties amongst all the other students, and you even had time to practice your dancing. You remembered the day that you received your acceptance letter from university. Hands shaking, you had barely managed to open the letter all the way before you screamed. You had gotten into university with your dream major: dance.

Because of your excellent grades, you were able to pay a lot of your tuition with scholarship money alone. You hesitantly decided to quit your job at the convenience store to focus on university. Although quitting meant that your bank account would take a big hit, you decided that it would be best in the long run. There was a lot in your savings, and you even had a little extra to buy a new outfit for your first day of school.

Jisung had been busy on the first day of university. He had previously promised to show you around campus, but with him being a no-show, you wandered around by yourself to try to find your classes. You had trouble with the campus map at first, but after walking around for a bit, you were able to find all your classes with ease.

Your first few classes were a snore. Because they were all theory, you had to down two cups of coffee in order to stay awake. Somehow, you managed to take coherent notes despite being bored out of your mind. You just wanted to dance.

The good thing was, after sitting through many classes, your time to dance finally came. Your last class of the day was an introduction to dance course, and you couldn’t wait to go. You wanted to know your teacher, your peers, and most importantly, express yourself.

The dance class was in a studio in the university’s fitness center. It was huge, way bigger than the tiny gym in your high school. Upon entering the studio, you were immediately met with the sight of students, exactly like you, already stretching. You chose a spot in the room and started stretching as well, making good use of your time before the instructor comes in.

After some time, most of the students — including you — had finished stretching and were sitting in silence waiting for the instructor. The door swung open, breaking the silence. The instructor had come in.

“Hello new students,” he said, “welcome to Dance 100. Today, I will go through the curriculum with you as well as introduce your final project.”

The instructor whipped out a projection of the curriculum and started explaining the purpose of the course, what you would be graded on, and how you would be graded. He then read through his class expectations before moving to your final project.

“This final project will act in place of a final exam,” he explained. “You will be required to create a dance that includes everything we’ve learned in class and write an essay explaining all the elements in your dance. It will be worth half your grade.”

The class gasped in surprise. Not only did this project sound extremely difficult for a first year course, but the fact that it was worth half your grade made it borderline unfair.

“I know it might seem difficult, but worry not, you won’t be doing this alone. Every year, the first year dance students get mentored by the third year dance students for the final project. Each student has already been assigned a random mentor which will be introduced this class.”

The whole class murmured, talking amongst themselves and expressing their opinions on this project. It was definitely an interesting project. You hoped that you would be paired with a good mentor that would actually care about how well you did.

There was a knock on the door.

“Ah, this must be them.” Your instructor opened the door and a wave of third years came flooding in. Each one of them had a name tag pinned on their shirts. “Class, these are the third year students.”

You all politely greeted them.

“Now,” the instructor continued, “I will put the class list on the projector, and each of your names will correspond to a third year mentor.”

The instructor put out the list for display. You scanned down the list of names, eventually finding yours. Following the dots to your corresponding mentor, you almost choked on air when you saw yours.

It was Hwang Hyunjin.

You were at a loss for words. Just when you thought he was out of your life forever, the man that was so incredibly mean to you — the man you hated with your whole soul — was now your mentor. Just the thought of being in the same room as him filled you with disgust.

You scanned the sea of third year students, and your eyes immediately found him. He was staring back at you with the same shocked expression that you had on.

He looked different. Not only had he grown taller, but he had lost all his baby fat as well. His hair was different too. It was bleached blond and it almost hit his shoulders. What was the same, however, was his intense stare and his plump lips.

You walked over to him.

“You look different.” His eyes scanned up and down.

“So do you.” You clenched your jaw and sighed. “I guess we have to work together.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said flatly.

“Listen,” you copied his tone, “I’m not excited about this either, but I want to get a good grade for this class. If you don’t wanna help me, just say so and I’ll just work alone on this.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he rolled his eyes, “this is part of my grade too. I can’t let you fuck this up for the both of us.”

You rolled your eyes back at him and pressed your lips in a thin line. Ignoring what he said, you asked, “where do we start?”

“Let’s find a time to meet every week.” He pulled out the newest iPad model from his bag. Of course he would have the newest iPad. “I’m busy every day except Saturday, so let’s meet then.”

Way to consider your opinion. He was lucky that you weren’t busy on the weekends.

As Hyunjin worked on sorting his schedule, you took your time to look at how he had changed. With his hair blonde, he looked like a completely different person. You didn’t understand why he kept his hair long though. It kept falling in his eyes.

“Stop staring at me. It’s freaking me out.” He narrowed his eyes at you.

“I wasn’t.” You crossed your arms, defending yourself.

“Whatever.” He tucked his hair behind his ear and put his iPad back in his bag. “Don’t be late on Saturday.”

And with that, he left. You looked around the class. Most of the other students were still with their mentors, presumably getting to know each other and discussing the project. You almost wanted to ask your instructor to switch with somebody else, but that would mean passing on the nightmare known as Hwang Hyunjin onto a perfectly innocent person. You had your moments, but you weren’t evil.

The interaction with Hyunjin had left you in a sour mood for the rest of the day. You tried to study, but you were too distracted by the thought of having to work with that monstrosity for a whole semester. It was worth so much of your grade, too. You had just hoped that Hyunjin was as good at dance as he previously told you. You remembered him saying how dance was his passion in life. That was when you still liked him. Who knows, maybe he only said that so he could play you like every other girl he played with.

For the rest of the week, whenever you thought of the dance project, you were filled with dread. You tried to ignore it, and sometimes it worked, but most of the time it kept reappearing in your mind like a virus. The way Hyunjin had infected your mind bothered you to no end.

Time passed fast though, and before you knew it, Saturday had already come. Searching through your closet, you picked out a simple outfit for practice today. You slid on your tattered old sneakers and headed off to the studio that Hyunjin had told you to go to.

Entering the dance studio, you noticed that you were right on time. However, Hyunjin was not. Great… He made such a big deal over you being on time that he himself forgot to be punctual. You sat on the wood floors and started to do some stretches to warm up.

Eventually, after you finished your stretching, he entered the studio. With a girl. Holding a textbook, Hyunjin handed it to the girl and put on his signature deceitful smile. His ugly, perfect smile. The girl batted her eyes and waved her fingers goodbye before strolling out the door. You rolled your eyes at this, feeling bad for the girl. Hyunjin was playing her right in front of her own eyes and she didn’t even realize it.

“Were you really late because of a girl?” you sneered.

“Why do you care?” he retorted, flinging his bag to the corner of the room.

“I don’t.”

“Sure you don’t.”

Not wanting to waste time with that childish banter, you decided to end the conversation then and there. “Okay, well anyways, I’ll show you what I learned in class this week.”

Hooking up your phone to the speaker, you chose the song that you’ve been practicing with for the whole week. As the song progressed, you found it hard to not get lost in the music. Just dancing was the easy part; incorporating everything learned in class was another story. Although it was fairly difficult, you thought you executed everything very well as the song came to an end. Finishing up, you panted from exhaustion and looked at Hyunjin for his comments.

He stood, with his arms crossed across his torso, leaning against the speaker. There was a blank expression on his face.

“Not bad.” He started to walk up to you.

“But?”

“But you’re too stiff. You’re too focused on perfectly executing the technical moves that you forget to just move your body. Do what you did half-way through the song again.”

You turned the music on, trying to do the dance with Hyunjin’s criticisms in mind. Looking in the mirror, you did your best to show as much emotion as possible, all the while moving more fluidly. The room was filled with heavy bass and the squeaks from your sneakers.

Suddenly, the music was abruptly cut off.

Hyunjin had stopped the music and was making his way over, face still unreadable.

“You’re still trying too hard and it shows.” Hyunjin shook his head.

Clenching your jaw, you did your best to hold back your anger. Were you just not supposed to try? This annoyed you. Just because he didn’t need to try to be good at anything didn’t mean you couldn’t.

“Well,” you tried to say calmly, “how can I do this then?”

“You have to relax.” He put one hand on your hip and started to guide you. “Don’t focus on each individual aspect, but try to imagine everything as a whole. Then, things will come naturally.”

You followed his hand, allowing Hyunjin to guide you to his own rhythm. After a while, every movement felt so fluid and you didn’t even notice that your face started to match your movements. Glancing at your reflection, you gasped, noticing how different your dancing looked. You whipped your head to face Hyunjin, the two of your inches apart and breathing heavily.

“See,” he mumbled, looking down at you. “Once you stop thinking, everything just comes naturally.”

You looked back at the person inches away from you. It almost felt as if he was being kind. But you knew the type of person he was. You weren’t going to let this happen again. Snapping out of what weird trance you were in, you pushed him away in an act of self perseverance.

He didn’t say anything.

“I’ll try again,” you said.

Hyunjin strolled over to the speaker and turned on the music. This time, you didn’t think about anything you learned in class or Hyunjin’s criticisms. You just trusted in your body. Everything else was blank.

Taking a step forward while still in your trance, your shoe lost its grip on the floor, causing you to fall right on your knee. You cried in pain, holding on to your knee.

“Fuck,” Hyunjin hissed. He ran over and bent down to your level. “Can you move it?”

“I think so.” You tried to straighten your knee. It hurt, but you were still able to do it. There would most likely be a nasty bruise there the next morning.

“You’re still wearing those scraps that you call shoes? They’re literally coming apart at the seams. This is going to happen again if you don’t get new ones.”

You blushed in embarrassment from his remarks. “I’m not going to spend money on things that I don’t need.”

“Well, you need shoes. Just go buy a new pair later.”

Was he being serious? Or was he just spoiled?

“Hyunjin, not everybody can just go spend money whenever they want,” you loudly sighed. “Unlike you, I need to consider my budget for most things.”

“Well, why can’t you ask your boyfriend to buy it?” he sneered. “Seems like you’re good at doing that.”

How did he know you were still dating Jisung? What did he mean by ‘good at doing that’?

“What?” You crossed your eyebrows. “Do you think I’m with him just for his money? Do I really look like that kind of person to you?”

“You used me for my money,” he mumbled under his breath.

“What?” You couldn’t hear him right.

“Nevermind, rehearsal's over.” He stomped off, leaving you alone in the practice room holding on to your injured knee.

-

You busied yourself with everything and anything you could do over the weekend in order to forget what happened during rehearsal. However, no matter how hard you tried to forget, Hyunjin’s comments on your shoes stuck in your mind like glue.

During your shift at your job, you couldn’t help but keep staring at your worn sneakers. You never paid attention to your shoes before until now. They did the job, so why would you need to buy a new pair? Still, you unconsciously paid attention to every step you took.

On Monday’s dance class, you decided to go early. It was always nice to warm up in a room with other try-hards. They felt less judgemental than the others.

The studio barely had anybody in it this early before class. Everybody was either stretching or had already started going over what was taught last week. Shuffling your way over to your locker, you couldn’t help but compare everybody else’s shoes to your own. You’ve never cared about trivial matters such as shoes, but you couldn’t help but feel a little self conscious as your worn-in sneakers squeaked its way over to the lockers.

Opening your locker, your eyes widened, shocked at what you saw. Inside was a box containing a brand new pair of sneakers. It was an expensive brand as well, a brand that you never thought you would be touching in your life. You turned your head around, scanning the room. Everybody seemed to have been busy with their own thing.

Did somebody put these in your locker by mistake?

Taking the shoes out, you noticed a small slip of paper fly out. You picked up the note.

Keep these. I was a jerk.

You knew who had sent this. It was Hyunjin. You didn’t know what game he was trying to play at, but you weren’t going to fall for it like you did that day in high school. Gingerly putting the shoes back in your locker, you decided to return these back to Hyunjin at your next practice.

-

“No, I gave them to you as a gift.” Hyunjin turned his nose up at you, refusing to take back the shoes.

“Why would you give these to me if you think that I only use people for their money?”

“Because,” he rolled his eyes, “if you’re unable to dance then my grade is screwed as well.”

He made a good point, but you were stubborn. “Still…”

“You know what? Keep it, give it away, sell it, I don’t care. Let’s just start practice.”

After that dance practice, you threw your old shoes in the trash.

-

It was midterm season a month into school. You thought you had gone to hell and back with high school, but this was even worse. Each day consisted of waking up, studying, and going back to sleep. You lived on coffee and toast. It wasn’t much, but it gave you the energy to sit at the library for hours to study.

You didn’t see anybody during the midterm season, Instead, you chose to hermit yourself up at the library for days on end. This meant that, at least for a couple of weeks, your dance practice with Hyunjin was put on hiatus. Not that he minded, of course. He happily deleted the practices from his schedule.

You also didn’t see much of your boyfriend, Jisung. Ever since school started, he seemed to always be missing in action. He would almost never have time to be with you, and with the few moments that he was, it seemed like he was always so apathetic towards you. You brushed this off as stress though, as you finally knew what it was like to experience university exams.

It was a clear and sunny day on the morning you finished your last midterm. Leaving the exam room, you looked up to the sky, basking in the sun. Today was going to be a good day. Not only were you now stress free, but you were also invited to an end-of-midterm party for your dance class tonight. You had never gone to a university party before, so when a classmate asked if you wanted to go, you eagerly accepted.

Wrapping up your dance class, you stood at your locker, gathering the rest of your stuff.

“Hey.” An arm wrapped around you.

“Hey, Jisung.” You smiled, turning around to face him.

“You’re done all your midterms?”

“Yup.” You nodded happily.

He took a look at your shoes.

“New shoes?”

You hesitated in answering his question, not knowing where Jisung was with Hyunjin in terms of friendship. It was better to be truthful now rather than apologizing later.

“Hyunjin gave it to me.” You looked down, fiddling with your fingers. Why were you afraid of Jisung’s response?

“Wait, what? Hwang Hyunjin? Like from high school? Y/n, I thought you hated him.”

“I did! And I do,” you tried to explain, “but he had a reason to give me this.”

“Bullshit, Y/n. You’re really gonna believe any reason he pulls out of his ass? I thought you actually matured from high school.”

“Well, you would understand if you were around more often!” you yelled. You knew it was wrong to address other problems and blow this out of proportion, but you couldn’t think straight. Your mind was clouded with anger.

“What does this have to do with anything?” Jisung barked back. “What we’re talking about is how you, no matter how shitty of a person Hyunjin is, keep going back to him! Y/n, all that man does is take. He takes from you and he sure as hell takes everything from me. I won’t let that happen this time.”

When had he taken anything from you? All he had done was give.

“Jisung, let’s end this.”

“You’re right. Let’s cool down and talk later tonight.”

“No,” you shook your head, “I mean, let's end us.”

Jisung looked at you in disgust. “It’s Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

“No,” you vehemently denied, “Jisung, you never have time for me, and the little time we do have together you act like a different person. And now you’re being all possessive just because Hyunjin gave me a gift? I’m sorry, I just don’t see us recovering from this.”

“Fine, whatever.” Jisung turned around. “We’re done. But Y/n, don’t come running back to me when Hyunjin screws you over like he does with everybody.”

After Jisung left, you stomped your foot on the ground, tears pooling in your eyes. It was for the best — breaking up with him. For the past month, you hadn’t been happy with where your relationship was going, but this wasn’t the way you wanted to end an almost three year relationship.

Wiping away your tears, you tried to compose yourself before heading over to the pub. Jisung wasn’t worth the tears.

The walk to the pub wasn’t far as every establishment catered to students was a short walking distance from campus. For your entire walk over, you kept your head down so as to not receive looks from others. The headache from your cries and a blush of anger still lingered with you. Hopefully you’ll look somewhat normal by the time you reach the bar.

Checking your reflection once more in your phone camera, you fixed your hair a bit before going inside.

The bar was filled.

With students from both your dance class and the third year class, there was not an empty corner in sight. The music was loud, but the sounds of chatter coming from the students were louder. The place was dark, with the only source of light coming from very dim, bright blue LEDs.

It was surprising to see everybody in a different setting. You were used to the sight of your classmates being only in sweats and workout clothes, but now that they actually had time to get ready, everybody seemed like a completely different person.

You saw a few of your classmates wave at you, beckoning you over to where they were sitting. As soon as your butt landed on the chair, they spared no time to push a shot glass filled with clear liquor in front of you. You gladly took the drink, wanting to just let go and forget about everything that happened today. Holding back a cough, you scrunched your face as you felt the alcohol burn in your throat. It had been so long since the last time you drank.

After five you stopped counting. Partly because you knew you were going to drink more, but mostly because your head couldn’t even count to five anymore. Scrunching your eyes, you tried to focus on the blurry figure of your classmate complaining about her professor. Bored out of your mind as her mindless babble went on forever, your eyes started roaming around the bar. As your eyes wandered, you noticed somebody behind your classmate staring at you.

Hwang Hyunjin.

Even in your inebriated state of mind, you knew that it was Hyunjin. What other university student had the balls to bleach their whole head blonde? Your eyes met, and he ran a hand through his golden locks. Why do the most beautiful people harbour the most wretched personalities?

You tried to ignore his staring by focusing your attention back on your classmate, but eventually, you couldn’t help but glance back at him. He was still looking at you.

You saw a girl come up to him. She was the same girl that showed up with him on your first ever practice session. Because of the dimly lit bar and your drunken vision impairment, you had to really squint to make out what was going on. The girl, all smiley and giggly, put her hand on his shoulder, making Hyunjin break his eye contact with you. He smiled at the girl, mouthing words that were drowned out by the music. For some reason, this made you furious. Why was he so nice to everybody else but you? What had you ever done to him to make him hate you so much?

You kept your eyes on the girl, knowing full well that you shouldn’t have. You hated that — even on your night off, even when you had just broken up with your boyfriend — Hyunjin was still in your mind like an unkillable parasite. You hated the way he tucked his hair behind his ears. You hated how the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled at her. You hated him.

You watched as she leaned in and whispered something in his ear, causing him to laugh. That was the last straw. In a drunken haze, you took your phone and bolted out the door, ignoring the concerns of all your classmates. Maybe it had been a mistake breaking up with Jisung. Maybe he really did know what was best for you.

Stumbling out onto the street, you tried to dial Jisung’s phone number. It proved to be too difficult of a task, however, as your drunken fingers could only tap on random numbers on the screen. You cried out of frustration.

“Y/n.”

The voice coming from behind you startled you, causing you to lose your grip on the phone. It dropped on the cement with a loud crack. Tears welled up in your eyes as you bent down to pick up your phone. There was a huge crack right down the middle of the screen.

“You cracked my phone,” you said, trying to keep your composure.

“So? It’s not like it’s worth much anyways. Just ask your boyfriend to buy you one.” Hyunjin’s evil eyes squinted down at you.

“Why are you still on about this? Hyunjin, I’ve never used anybody for money and I never will!” You couldn’t control the tears flowing down your face. “Plus, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I broke up with Jisung today.”

You didn’t know why you were spilling your guts to the last man in the world you would trust. Surely, it was the alcohol.

“Y/n.” His tone had completely changed. He almost looked — concerned?

“Whatever, Hyunjin,” you slurred. “Just leave me alone. You can go back to that girl and have your fun with her.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t care.”

“Y/n, why do you care?” His tone got louder.

“I don’t!” you yelled at him. Your tears made everything even more blurry.

“Y/n! Tell me, why do you care?!” He spat back at you with just as much fury.

“Fuck you, Hyunjin. News flash, not everything in the world revolves around you and your rich and prestigious life. Maybe you wouldn’t be so toxic if you would just understand that.” You screamed at him through your sobs. “Also, I don’t know where you got this stupid story of my being a cash whore from, but I will say this one last time: I have worked for everything in my life and I have never and will never use anybody for their money.”

Hyunjin looked back at you, shocked. You stared back at him in disgust. Not wanting to waste anymore time on him, you stumbled down the street to look for a taxi. However, as you wobbled down the pavement, everything became even blurrier than before. You felt nauseous. You couldn’t control it anymore.

You threw up. All over the sidewalk. You couldn’t stop. Every time you thought that it was over, more and more came out. Your throat burned, and it wasn’t just the alcohol.

As you hurled out all the remains of today’s lunch, your hair was held back.

“Get away from me, Hyunjin,” you groaned. You didn’t want him to see you this weak.

“Who else is gonna take care of your drunk ass, idiot,” he mumbled.

That was the last thing you heard before everything went black.

-

It was a blinding white light that woke you up. You groaned, trying to block the light with your forearm. Cracking your neck, you tried to holster yourself up.

You were on a leather couch. Squinting, you surveyed the room you were in. It was clean, spacious. The floor was a white marble — there wasn’t a single speck of dust to be seen. Across from you was an incredibly wide TV with many game consoles scattered around it. You looked behind you. There was a large kitchen island illuminated by warm pendant lights. Sitting at the island, on his laptop, was Hyunjin.

“Wh-what happened to me?”

“You’re the worst fucking drinker I’ve ever seen, that’s what happened.”

You rolled your eyes.

Hyunjin ignored you, standing up and leaving for another room. Less than a minute later, he reappeared with a toothbrush and a roll of toothpaste.

“Go clean up. You look disgusting.”

You snatched the toothbrush from his hands. He pointed over to the bathroom and you trudged your way over. His bathroom was huge, almost bigger than your bedroom at home. You felt as if you were in a hotel.

“Your bathroom is huge.” After washing up, you felt not only cleaner, but more awake. “You’re really living the life with your family’s money, huh.”

Hyunjin sighed, slamming his laptop shut causing you to flinch. “Why, after everything, do you think I’m this rich, pretentious fuck?”

You rolled your eyes. Not this again. “Well, why do you still think I’m this money hungry monster?”

“You really wanna know why, Y/n? It’s because Jisung told me so. He was the one who told me that all those years ago.”

You were shocked. Jisung was the one who told him that? Your ex-boyfriend that you had loved and dated for almost three years? You didn’t want to believe it, you really didn’t, but there was this tiny whisper in the back of your mind telling you that it was true. He had a reason to — Jisung was always going on about how Hyunjin always took from him.

“But Y/n, I-” He stopped mid-sentence.

“You what, Hyunjin?”

He pressed his lips to yours, caressing the back of your head. You were shocked, but almost autonomously, your lips parted feeling the heat of his breath against yours. He pressed his body to yours, running his hand down your waist. His lips, the same lips responsible for his perfect smile, felt so soft against your own. You heard the thuds of his heartbeat as he held you closer.

You broke apart, gasping for breath. The realization of what you had done just hit you.

In a panic, you used your whole strength to push his body away from you. “I-I have to go.”

“Y/n, wait!” Hyunjin called.

You paid him no attention. Instead, you ran across the marble floors, hoisted the front door open, and sprinted out. Hoping that Hyunjin wasn’t following you, found your way outside and took a taxi home.

You sat in silence, trying to process what had just happened. You had just kissed Hyunjin. You had just kissed Hyunjin. Hands shaking, you grasped at the ends of your hair, trying to calm yourself down. Did that just happen?

You were more mad at yourself than at him. How could you have just kissed Hyunjin? You hated him. He was nothing but rude to you, never smiling and always accusing you of things that were clearly lies. He made you feel self conscious, nervous, and everything in between. You hated him.

But he was so sweet on that fateful day in high school. He gave you a new pair of shoes when you had slipped during practice, and he held your hair for you when you were drunk. His hair glistened in the sunlight, his smile made your heart race, and his lips ignited sparks of every colour in the rainbow in your chest.

You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated how fast you became infatuated with him on that day in high school, and no matter how much you tried to deny it, you hated that your feelings haven’t changed ever since. You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated that you loved him.

Curling up in your bed, there was no stopping the tears flowing down your face. You cried and cried upon this realization, and you remained this way for the rest of the day. The effect Hyunjin had on you was bigger than you ever expected, and you hated it.

-

At school, you tried to avoid as many people as possible. The kiss you had shared with Hyunjin was plaguing your mind, distracting you and igniting the fire that was your inner turmoil. Even the thought of Hyunjin put a strain in your heart. It was the way his breath fanned over your nose, gently tickling it like a bird’s feather and the soft silk of his blonde locks brushing up against your cheeks.

You shook your head, trying to erase any and every thought of that man. Walking to your locker, you were stopped in your tracks, the dam in your eyes starting to crack. You couldn’t do this today. You turned around to go somewhere else — anywhere else.

“Y/n, wait.”

You sniffed, wiped stray tears from your eyes, and picked up your pace.

“Y/n.” He grabbed your shoulder, turning you around to face him.

“Hyunjin, please, I can’t do this today.”

“Are you… Are you crying?” He touched your face, wiping your tears with his thumb. “Y/n, why are you crying?”

You shook your head. You were scared of what would happen if you opened your stupid mouth.

“Y/n, please.” Hyunjin begged. His voice was shaking. “Tell me why.”

You shook your head again.

“Y/n, please.” His voice cracked.

“Hyunjin,” you paused, taking a shaky breath, “it’s because I love you. I’ve loved you ever since the first moment you smiled at my pathetic ass. Even when you hurt me more than anyone has hurt me before… I never had a choice, Hyunjin. It’s always been you.”

You tore yourself away from Hyunjin, embarrassed to your core. That was the most humiliating thing you’ve ever done, but at least you had closure now.

“Y/n…”

“No, Hyunjin. You’ve torn me down and humiliated me enough already. What more could you possibly want?” You demanded, aware that everybody around you was staring.

“Y/n,” Hyunjin rasped, “It’s only ever been you. I’ve spent the last three years miserable knowing that you were with someone else. I’ve-I’ve never even been with another girl in the past three years. I know you have no reason to believe me because I was such an ass. I am such an ass. Y/n, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for projecting my insecurities on you, I’m sorry for accusing you of things I know you’ve never done, and I’m sorry for anything else I might have fucking done. Y/n, I love you. Please, I don’t fucking deserve it, but is there any way you could forgive me?”

You stared at Hyunjin’s bloodshot eyes, tears freely flowing down your cheeks, and before you could even think, you found yourself pressed against his lips. Your eyes closed, savouring the feeling of his soft lips touching your own. His wet cheek pressed against your own, and with a nudge of the nose, Hyunjin deepend the kiss with a raw passion in which you’ve never felt before.

You cradled his head, relishing in his silken blonde hair as you brushed your fingers through his locks. He sighed in response, his breath tickling against your cheek. You were fully aware that everyone on campus had seen both your messy confessions of love, but you didn’t care. All you could do was replay the moment that Hyunjin had said those words — those three tiny words — over and over in your head as you ran your fingers through his hair and kissed his soft, honey lips.

[florencwrites]

ignoring is bliss 〚technoblade〛

in which [reader] struggles with her lover's inconsequent affection, and a good talk is unfortunately inevitable; the silent treatment has never worked well with techno.

"I don't know what you want me to say." His back had still been turned towards me at this point, the rake heavy in my hands as I tried using it to steady myself in the muddy stable. He kept loading dirty plucks of hay onto his pitchfork, the thinly lined buttoned shirt he was wearing easily letting his back muscles shine through.

I stood silently behind him, deliberating my words thoroughly. I hated when he acted like this, I absolutely despised him. He was one of the smartest men I'd ever had the pleasure of meeting, however, the second things went sideways conversation-wise he always played it painfully personally. He would start correcting my grammar or suggest synonyms for otherwise satisfactory sentences. "I don't either."

"I guess that marks the end of this conversation." He turned around to dump his gathered muck in the makeshift wheelbarrow Phil had built us. His face was hard, his brows furrowed and his features lax. He seemed indifferent, his attitude scaring me to pieces.

"Tech, please." I tried, putting one of my hands up to gesture for him to stop walking. He was now barely lifting the barrow from the ground, ready to head off to the dump. He huffed, his eyes meeting the floor as he put the wagon down. "You know I hate it when you call me that."

"I'm sorry," I muttered softly.

He ducked to grip his hands around the handles again, lifting it from the ground. His knuckles were white where they held onto the leather-covered grips. "Speak up."

"I want to have a conversation with you, okay? Stop acting so fucking stuck up and talk to me." His shoulder brushed past mine as he exited the stables, my voice was high in emotions, definitely on the verge of breaking with desperation.

He snorted. "I'll listen to whatever you have to say when you've calmed down."

-

"He won't talk to me, Phil." I groaned almost obnoxiously loud, taking a sip of water to wash down both my dinner and my agitation. "You know how he gets."

"All pissy? Tell me about it." He chuckled softly, his forearm shielding his bowl from my sight. He shoveled another spoonful of beef stew into his mouth. Phil and I had never been extraordinarily close, he reckoned Techno and me to be undeserving of each other. A terrible pair. And perhaps we were, at times like this I couldn't help but doubt whether or not we truly were the destined lovers we often thought ourselves to be. "I'll bring him some food later."

I laughed at him, a father at heart. A father to anyone but his actual sons, really. A playful grin on my lips, "You're an enabler, Phil."

-

That night I crawled into an empty bed. One I hadn't even doubted would be just that; empty. He was weak like that, he'd do anything to avoid conflict. Whether that was because he was afraid of what his blinding rage fits would conjure, or whether he was just an impotent coward. Someone who didn't know how to act around uncertainty and immorality and thus resorted to blaming everything on his treacherous temper.

The sheets still smelled of him, I held them to my nose.

There was no reason for us to fight, I hadn't meant to start one. I simply wanted him to realize how different he acted towards me when surrounded by any crowd. He acted so distant it made me doubt not only us, but myself. My heart ached anytime he pulled his hand away from where I tried leaving him a subtle touch. My skin crawled when he no longer referred to me by the mild, but unmissably warm names he had for me.

However, nothing would ever hurt me as much as meeting his eyes in a room of our friends and seeing the love seep from his irises. Physically witnessing his affection turn into nothing short of mere acquaintance.

Everyone knew us. There was no reason for him to act so cold, so distant. Though, I also recognized that perhaps there was an underlying reason. One I simply hadn't thought of, or perhaps one that I couldn't ever imagine. One that he had retained from his troublesome past.

The thing is, it hurt me to think he didn't trust me enough with his reasoning. That he didn't want to tell me about his thoughts. I'd been extremely careful and meticulous with any information he'd granted me, I was sure to never let what he told me change my opinion of him. I vowed to never look at him any different.

So, why could he not promise me the same?

-

There was no point in pushing myself from my sheets the next morning. I knew how long his episodes usually lasted, I wouldn't even have to try talking to him for at least two more days. Normally, I'd try, though. I'd sit in the grass right next to where he was working outside, just talking to him about anything and everything I could think of. Back then I thought for his silence to mean confusion, I thought his swirling mind simply needed a break. That a distraction would do him good.

I sat in the barely-molten grass for hours, never getting a reply.

His smell was constricting my airways slowly, every inhale making it harder and harder to breathe. What if Phil was right, what if he truly didn't love me, or not anymore at least? What if it was all an act to have a warm body to fall asleep next to, to have an extra set of hands around the cottage.

I kicked at the sheets, desperate to get them away from me, to get them from clinging to my sweaty body. I only tangled my legs further into the mess. The bed creaked loudly against the wooden floor of the attic, a gust of wind running through a small gap in the roof.

I shot up, finally being able to rid my body of the sheets. I huffed a few times, the annoyance getting the better of me. I slung my legs over the side of the bed, now just sitting on the wooden frame, letting my eyes wander over the walls. The pictures of us that were tightly tacked to the planks, photos of our favorite pets and our best of friends. Photos of us with Phil and Tommy, and even a stray photo of me and Wilbur, back when we were kids.

My gaze found its way towards the singular window behind our bed, the only one of two walls that weren't entirely slanted. His red robe stood out like a sore thumb in the feeble blanket of slushy snow that had been slowly accumulating over the course of the night. Summer was officially over once again, and the cold would soon make it so we could no longer afford to sleep alone.

He rarely wore his robe outside of special occasions, he usually would simply opt for one of his brown ones. One was trimmed with a thick deer fur, the leather on it sure to keep all frost out. The other one was his summer one, the more dirty one of the two. It was always stained with blood, since it would also be the one he went hunting with. He disliked hunting in the winter, the harsh winds and easily discernible prints made it no fun, according to him. He stacked up during the summer, drying his meats to allow them to be kept safe for months, if not years.

But now he was wearing his red robe, lined with the finest of polar bear fur. The one that had the special compartments for his potions, and the one I had sown a totem into. For good luck. He rarely wore it for any occasion but war.

He pushed himself from the ground, turning around swiftly; the velocity making his cape whisk dramatically up in the wind. His eyes seemed fixated on the ground until they unwarrantedly shot up to the window I was sitting at. Any other day, I would've averted my gaze. Not now. He knew I was staring, and he was allowed to know so. I held my eyes on him until his feet carried him out of sight, into the house. I sighed softly, I felt entirely forlorn without him, without his caring hands and loving eyes. I let myself fall back into the bed, cuddling the sheets once again as I curled away from the entrance. I reckoned he would have to change out of his robe soon, and I didn't want to face him when he did.

-

I heard the front door slam, and as predicted the rungs of the many ladders soon creaked in his hold. The worn, practically ancient, trapdoor was pushed ajar behind me. I couldn't be bothered to turn to meet his eyes. However, instead of quietly changing out of his clothes, I felt the bed dip. He sat on the side of it, much alike to how I had found myself just minutes before.

"I don't like feeling weak." His voice was rougher than usual, it kept its usual monotone aura, but for some reason, it felt more emotional than ever before. He cleared his throat as if to try and mask it, to no avail, "I don't love you any less."

I shifted in the bed, though, he quickly stopped me, "Don't look at me, that just makes it harder."

I obliged. He let out a trembling sigh, taking his sweet time to deliberate his next words, "Sometimes we are outside together and I'm afraid that when they see how much I care about you, they will realize that you make me weak." I stared at the wall, still curled into the blankets. I wanted nothing more than to hold his face, look at him as he spoke. Instead, I had to make do with the pictures of his face plastered on the wood. His pointy, flappy ears and peaked nose. The two sharp-looking fangs set in the corners of his lips, ones that seemed to disappear when he smiled. He didn't like smiling for pictures, I didn't have a single one of the two of us together where he smiled. The only ones that showed his beautiful pearly whites were the ones that had me behind the camera, something I only then realized might've not been a coincidence.

"It scares me to think they could hurt you for loving me, that's why I don't like holding your hand in town." I shot a quick look over my shoulder, his back was slouched over, his head in his hands with his elbows propped on his knees. He wasn't crying, he simply seemed lost."I never realized that what scares me even more is the idea of you not loving me at all."

I slowly crept from under the sheets as his words fell silent. I crawled over towards where he was sat, near the foot-end of the bed. I took one of his hands from where he had rested his face on it and pulled it out of the way.

I snaked my arms around his neck, pulling my body into his. I draped my legs over his lap as I held him. His built arms felt tender against my exposed back, however, he held me tight. He squeezed softly as another quivering breath escaped his lips. We sat in embrace for a while.

"That's all I asked for, Tech." I smiled into his neck. "I just wanted to talk, that wasn't so hard, now, was it?"

"Shut up." He playfully tried pushing me away from his torso, underestimating the power of my cling. "You know I hate it when you call me that."

[tolkien-feels]

Could you please share more Mahtan headcanons? Especially his relationship with Maedhros? I get the impression that they are really close, and that Mahtan(and Finwe too actually) views Maedhros as his pride and joy. I think Maedhros is a perfectionist and tries really hard to be the perfect son and grandson, and that this irritates his brothers somewhat. I think Maedhros and Curufin are somewhat similar in this aspect, which makes their relationship really interesting (more so than Maedhros/Maglor and Celegorm/Curufin imo)

I've already said a few things on this post, which is most likely why you're sending me this in the first place, but you might also wanna check out this short post about Maedhros and Curufin.

Anyway, to quote from the post you're referring to:

Maedhros might be Nelyafinwe, but he’s also Russandol, and let’s not forget this quote:

[Nerdanel’s father’s] name was [space; pencilled later Sarmo?], but he was most widely known as Urundil ‘copper-lover’. He usually wore a band of copper about his head. His hair was not as dark or black as was that of most of the Ñoldor, but brown, and had glints of coppery-red in it. Of Nerdanel’s seven children the oldest, and the twins (a very rare thing among the Eldar) had hair of this kind. The eldest also wore a copper circlet.

Let's go from there.

What I find fascinating is that Maedhros looks like Mahtan and possibly has a similar temperament (since both have names that reflect their on-point copper accessorizing: Mahtan goes by Urundil 'copper-lover' and Maedhros goes by Russandol 'copper-top'), but Curufin is the one who inherits Mahtan's skill of craft.

On the Finwe side, Maedhros makes no attempt to produce an heir, and gives up the crown but is able to prove himself an amazing leader whenever his leadership is tested. But then, Curufin continues the family line with Celebrimbor, and his attachment to Feanor is a clear mirror of Finwe's.

If, like I said, Feanor is caught up between his affinity with Mahtan and Finwe, Maedhros and Curufin who themselves inherited different parts of Feanor don't quite align themselves as easily with their grandfathers either.

To put it simply, I like to think that Maedhros is a leader like Finwe and Curufin is a crafter like Mahtan, but that on a personal level, Maedhros's personality is reminiscent of Mahtan's while Curufin's is of Finwe's. (Or what little we can guess about Mahtan and Finwe given the very limited info we have.)

So while I'm sure both grandfathers greatly love all of Feanor and Nerdanel's sons, I've always headcanoned that Maedhros and Curufin are great favorites. It's also, in part, an age thing - I headcanon there's a bigger age gap between Curufin and the twins than between any other of the Feanorians, so for a while, Maedhros was extra beloved for being the first grandson, and Curufin for being the youngest.

In terms of sheer amount of time spent together, Maedhros probably has spent more time with Finwe and Curufin with Mahtan, because Maedhros belongs at court and Curufin by a forge. But I also think that if Maedhros did stop by Mahtan's forge, Mahtan would drop everything to go greet him, and the same with Curufin and Finwe. The very fact that they naturally get along but don't necessarily spend too much time together ensures that when they do meet, it's a whole thing.

If we're talking specifics (and going back to what you actually asked me, which was to talk about Mahtan and Maedhros!), I imagine that (like I've mentioned here) Maedhros reminds Mahtan a lot of young Nerdanel. I mean, much more outgoing and less crafty, but the drive to always do the right thing, the willfulness tempered by kindness, the wise-beyond-their-years thing... it's all very familiar.

While Maedhros as I headcanon him was very independent from a very young age, and while I do think he knew he could and many times did rely on his parents, I also like to think that if he ever needed any kind of advice that he wasn't necessarily eager to get from his parents (mainly advice about his parents, though not exclusively), Mahtan would be his go-to person. (Which also means Mahtan helped shape Maedhros's personality, a little bit.)

I've thought about it before and I don't think Nerdanel would ask Maedhros to draw away from Feanor, or to persuade his brothers to, not even after Feanor is 100% out of control following Finwe's death. Mahtan, though? I can see that. I love the headcanon that Mahtan would at some point (probably not when he warned Nerdanel - I think it'd be later) talk to Maedhros in private and... not ask him to stay away from Feanor, but make it very clear that Feanor is becoming dangerous and is likely to get worse and that Aule is concerned.

And I do think Maedhros takes the warning very seriously, but unlike Nerdanel, Maedhros, perhaps in a very well-intentioned display of Feanorian arrogance, decides that actually, he can salvage the situation somehow, and that his siblings are definitely his responsibility. After Finwe dies on his watch (not on his watch, but good luck convincing him of that), Maedhros also thinks Feanor's wellbeing is his responsibility as some twisted kind of atonement.

I do think that while Mahtan intellectually understands that this is no one's fault exactly, he very much blames himself for not having handled the Maedhros situation better. Maybe if their conversation had gone differently things wouldn't have happened this way, etc.

This. got very long. I'll shut up now.

[goingmorry]

Hellooo I love your writing soooo much >>•<<

Could you please write headcanons of ASL sister introducing Smoker as her fiancé ? Thank you so much !

[One Piece Headcanons] ASL Brothers -> when you introduce Smoker as your fiancé

Characters: Ace, Sabo, Luffy, Smoker

Tags: female reader, overprotective brothers

Author's Note: Thank you for the cute request! I got carried away and added short scenarios for each brother's reaction and a little extra at the end. I hope you like it! 💖

PORTGAS D. ACE

Goes from 😯 to 😡 to 🤬

Ace.exe has stopped working.

He's the 2nd Division Commander of the esteemed Whitebeard Pirates; who in their right mind would think it would be a good idea for him — the son of the late Pirate King — to meet a Marine Vice-Admiral?

Cue war flashbacks of when Garp showered him, Luffy, and Sabo with his "fists of love" for sharing their childhood dreams of becoming pirates.

Goes through all seven stages of grief and complains to Sabo every single time.

Threatens Smoker every chance he gets. The Marine Vice-Admiral repays in kind when you're not around.

Doesn't warm up to the idea of you and Smoker as a couple except on your wedding day.

"Behave yourself," you whisper to your fiancé, soft hands tightly gripping his muscular bicep in warning.

"I'm on my best behavior. It's your brother who needs to behave," Smoker says bluntly, brown eyes observing the freckled pirate's reaction to you and your beau's interlocked arms.

Ace stares, and stares, and stares — at his little sister and the familiar white-haired man he encountered early on during his journey to Alabasta — dumbfounded at the scene before him.

"Fire Fist," the Marine Vice-Admiral calls out, breaking him from his reverie.

"You—" Ace yells, flames erupting from the tips of his fingers to rapidly engulf his entire first.

Before your fiancé can return your fiery brother's sudden display of aggression, you step in between their bodies, eyes alight with fury.

"Stop it!" you scold Ace, extending your pointer finger and thumb to pinch his ear in retaliation.

He frowns at you, but obliges, flames extinguishing from his curled fist. "We need to talk. Now."

Not waiting for your response, Ace saunters off toward his bedroom at the other end of the hallway, posture stiff and robotic. To anyone, outsider or not, it was evident from Ace's appearance and demeanor that the usually friendly pirate was clearly not in a good mood.

"Just wait here. I won't be long," you say to Smoker before dashing off in pursuit of your freckled brother.

When you close the door to his bedroom, Ace begins his tirade, arms crossed against his bare chest as he faces your more petite frame.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

You look at him in bewilderment but don't say a word, waiting for him to elaborate.

"Him! That—that big oaf! There are millions of men in this world! And it has to be him? I don't approve!" Ace doesn't stop himself from frantically gesturing at the closed door — the only piece of barrier, aside from him, of course — separating you from your fiancé.

You frown at Ace's insult, adopting a defensive stance. "Don't call him that! And I don't need your permission, you know. Why are you acting like this?"

"You're my little sister! Of course, I'm concerned!" Ace adjusts himself from the desk he was leaning on. "Do you know what he's done to Luffy?"

You shakily exhale at his accusatory tone. "I know! We've talked about this. He's promised to look the other way when it comes to our family."

"And you believe him?"

"Of course, I do! He hasn't given me any reason to doubt him."

"He's not exactly husband material," Ace interjects, to which you roll your eyes. At this point, it was apparent to you that your big brother was grasping at straws, finding reasons — however shallow they may be — to make you reconsider this marriage.

"He dresses better than you, that's for sure," you say childishly.

Ace's eyebrows furrow, taking great offense to your statement. "What's wrong with the way I dress?"

"Have you seen yourself? You're always strutting around like you own the place. Shirtless and all," you comment, scrunching up your nose in disgust. "Have some common decency at least."

"He's not wearing a shirt either!" Ace says indignantly.

"No, but he has a jacket—"

"That he leaves open all the time, which basically makes it useless," Ace argues, "Why bother if you're not even gonna wear it properly?"

"Argh, forget it. I don't want to talk about this anymore," you say, burying your face in your hands.

Ace takes the hint, feeling guilty as he walks over to your defeated form to rub circles on your back slowly.

A truce, for now.

- - - - - - - - - -

Sometime later, when you return from Ace's bedroom, you find your fiancé calmly sitting on the corner of the couch. Without a word, you plop down beside him and rest your head on the crook of his shoulder.

Smoker takes a deep drag of his cigars, observing your distraught appearance and the lack of a certain cowboy-hat-wearing pirate. "Well, that went well."

SABO

Goes from 😟 to 😩 to 😭

Dies a little bit on the inside.

His precious little sister finally finds love, and who's her betrothed? The infamous White Hunter himself.

He expected this behavior from Ace, but you?

Discreetly pulls you aside to express his disapproval.

Learns to cope and eventually warms up to your relationship with the Marine. How can he not when you look so happy?

De-escalates arguments between Ace and your lover every single time.

"Sabo!" You pull your big brother into an embrace which he reciprocates.

When the blond Revolutionary notices the white-haired man standing behind you, he stiffens, gloved hand reaching behind his back to clasp his metal pipe.

Noticing your older brother's sudden alertness, you nudge his side in reassurance. "This is the fiancé I've been telling you about."

Sabo quickly puts two and two together. All those conversations you've had with him, and not once did you mention that you were engaged to an officer of the Marines. And not just any Marine officer, you were engaged to the Commander of the notorious G-5 base.

In an effort to remain composed, Sabo forces a half-hearted smile — appearing more like a grimace really, but an action you appreciated nonetheless - and extends his right arm to your fiancé for a handshake.

"Nice to meet you."

Ignoring the daggers you were glaring at the side of his face, Smoker hesitantly grips the blond Revolutionary's hand. "Pleasure," he grunts out, letting out a puff of white smoke from his cigars.

For a moment, the two men clasp at each other's hand in a show of fake camaraderie.

Choosing to ignore the growing tension thick in the air, you clap your hands together in mock enthusiasm.

"Great! Let's meet the rest of the family, shall we?"

MONKEY D. LUFFY

Goes from 😁 to 😊 to 🥳

The only one who's okay with your relationship with Smoker.

He's survived having Garp, the Hero of the Marines, as his grandfather; he can certainly handle an additional Marine in the family.

Gets along with your fiancé the best, though Smoker himself denies this.

"Woah, what's Smokey doing here?" Luffy says in awe, looking back and forth between you and the Marine.

You tap your feet in nervousness, gesturing between Smoker and your youngest brother.

"Luffy, this is my fiancé. Smoker, this is my little brother."

"I know who Straw Hat Luffy is," Smoker says impatiently, barely glancing at the pirate standing a few feet in front of him.

"You haven't been formally introduced to each other, have you?" you say indignantly, hips cocked to one side as you stare at your fiancé's tepid behavior.

"In a normal setting, I mean," you clarify, "You chasing him and his crew does NOT count."

Smoker shrugs at your accusation, and you sigh.

Luffy laughs at your scolding, looking up at the Marine. "It's okay. I meant what I said in Alabasta. I don't hate you, y'know?"

You smile at your little brother's statement. You could always count on Luffy to be accepting of your partner, whoever they may be. Also, he wasn't the type to dwell on the past, preferring instead to live in the moment. And that moment was your engagement to the Marine Vice-Admiral, the same man who used to hunt Luffy and his crew throughout the Grand Line for being wanted criminals.

'Tsk' is all Smoker says to the straw hat pirate's proclamation, earning a disapproving pinch to his side from you.

"Be nice," you whisper harshly to your fiancé's ear.

The sound of your little brother's joyous laughter is enough for the normally serious Marine to let out a small smile.

BONUS BELOW LMAO

MONKEY D. GARP

Goes from 😌 to 🥰 to 🤗

T H R I L L E D that his grandson-in-law is a respectable Marine.

The epitome of Proud Father Figure™

Compares the ASL brothers to Smoker every chance he gets during family reunions.

"Y'hear that Luffy? Smoker just caught a band of no-good pirates terrorizing the local townsfolk." Luffy picks his nose in acknowledgment.

Garp points an accusatory finger at Ace. "You damn brat, why couldn't you listen to me and become a Marine like I told you to?"

Garp gives a disapproving glare to Sabo. "And you! Why'd you have to join the shady Revolutionaries and become a wanted criminal like my son?"

Garp proceeds to give the ASL brothers multiple rounds of his fists of love. Meanwhile, he smooches your forehead in happiness for finding a suitable husband.

You and Smoker live happily ever after. The end.

[grimweaver]

Skyrim Dragonborn story and asks thingie that @lucien-lachance tagged me for a long time ago. I tag... um... I dunno lol Ethaniel LaChance is the son of Malkhai (Ale'Zandre) LaChance, The Hero of Kvatch, and Lucien LaChance, the Speaker of the Dark Brotherhood. Prior to the events of Skyrim, his wife and children were murdered by a Thalmor mage he could not identify, and Malkhai had gone missing. Hungering for revenge, and sure that the Thalmor had something to do with his mother's disappearance, he was determined to hunt the Thalmor down to the very last one, and save his mother if his suspicion about their involvement in her disappearance was correct. He managed to slay quite a few very powerful and skilled Thalmor, but there was one mage that proved to be too powerful for him-- he was defeated, strung up, and sent out to Helgen to be executed. ((blablabla--dragon showed up, "oh my there are dragons coming back to Skyrim--aaah!"--fire, blood,death, escape blablabla))

He's had the Blood of the Wolf since conception, but never considered becoming a full-fledged werewolf until the Companions' tantalizing promise of power that could give him the extra edge he needs to defeat his sworn enemies.

Soon after Ethaniel and Aela become lovers. Though Ethaniel becomes the Harbinger, though he always went to Aela for her advice before making big decisions for the Companions.

A voice begins to call to Ethaniel, usually at night. He dismisses it as the wind whistling through cracks in the home. Eventually, it gets the point he cannot ignore it any longer. He doesn't tell Aela that he is hearing a voice, just says he feels a calling to the north. He thinks he recognizes the voice-- but it couldn't be! He's been dead nearly two-hundred years! (no, I'm so not taking this from Frozen 2! This happened in my head before that movie existed!)

The voice leads him to a house in Windhelm, where he finds a boy named Aventus, doing some weird summoning ritual. He thinks Ethaniel's the Listener and tells him he wants an abusive woman at an orphanage killed. Ethnaiel, having soft spot for kids, does this for him (Blablabla, past the okay but kind of bleh parts of the questline, bla blabla) is reunited with Shadowmere, and then... given a scroll that summons an assassin spirit from the Void that Astrid does not name. She just says he was a great legend of his time (Player does some internal screaming and fangirling because she knows... AAAAAAAAAAH!) But Ethaniel, not realizing who the spirit is, is not anxious to summon him. He saves it for a time he might need help.

Ethaniel returns to Whiterun, tells Aela and the kids they adopted (Lucia and Aventus) that he has restored his family home in Falkreath (Not the Falkreath home you are thinking of, the one I made in Creation Kit that is still a WIP like everything else I ever started!), so it is safe and comfortable for them to live in. During the move, they are attacked by Thalmor. There are so many of them that Ethaniel thinks this is the best time to summon that "Spectral Assassin" (more internal fangirly screaming). The Spectral Assassin makes a dramatic appearance-- the entire area is ignited with red Void fire, which only consumes Ethaniel's enemies and doesn't even singe a hair on his or his family's body. Out from a portal leaps a human figure that wastes no time slicing and dicing through the Thalmor, like it was personal... BECAUSE IT IS EHEHEHEHEHEE! Then, when everything clears, Ethaniel approaches the spectre. He can make out the details of the spirit's face as he gets closer, and when he thinks he recognizes him he is moved to tears. "Father??" He cries The spirit smiles, nods, then says "I live... again." (AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!) There is no mistaking. Though many imperials of his time sounded like him, for some reason, his had a distinct, gravely purr. It rolled like thunder, and had the power to chill as it turned bones into jelly.

"It is you! It is you!! FATHER!!" And they hug! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Not many huge story bits I can think of past this point, except they do find Malkhai and all three of them destroy the Thalmor embassy. Ah, quality family time! Oh, and yes, there's the rest of the DB questline and the main questline, he says "screw you" to the Blades for asking him to kill his dragon friend, they kill Alduin, the end Wait, there is no end, cause Skyrim keeps going ON and ON and ON

Asks:

1. Favorite Tavern: Dead Man's Drink in Falkreath.

2. Favorite Drink: Hot white chocolate with orange/cranberry cream

3. Travel Companion: Lucien LaChance ("Da"), Aela ("

4. Wealthy or not?: Yes, but he doesn't flaunt it in any way, and most of it is spent on the home and warrior stuff.

5. Worships the Aedra or the Daedra?: Daedra, specifically Hircine.

6. Biggest Fear: Death of a loved one.

7. Pet Peeves: Snobbish and racist people.

8. Do they like being dragonborn?: Yes

9. Favorite faction: The Companions

10. An object of sentimental value: The enchanted black cloak that belonged to his father before he passed (the second time). It has a powerful quieting spell that helps him sneak around undetected, and it will not reflect any light so it's always pitch-dark-- very useful for hiding.

11. Hobbies: Cooking, woodcarving, leatherworking, singing, and playing the lute.

12. Favorite city: He hates cities. He prefers small villages, within heavily forested areas, like Falkreath.

[btsqualityy]

Magnolias in Springtime

Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Arranged marriage!AU, ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, fluff, smut, and just a smidge of angst 

Warnings: Talks of arranged marriages, brief mention of polygamy (nothing comes of it, promise lol), oral sex, fingering, unprotected sex, knotting 

Author’s Note: This fic is based on a prompt from the Spring Fest “Spring Will Come Again” hosted by @bangtanarmynet​! I really hope you guys enjoy it! P.S: There will also be a part two to this fic so stayed tuned for that!

Prompt: While their parents discuss behind closed doors the terms of their arranged marriage to each other, they meet in the blooming garden to go over their own conditions.

Your pack was your entire life.

Growing up as what some of the elders in your pack referred to as the spoiled only child of the Pack Alpha and the Pack Omega, you were doted on by everyone. As a child, you marveled at the Alphas when they brought back the animals that they had haunted for the pack’s dinner and now as an adult, you were having Alphas dedicate those kills to you as a sign of intention to marriage. 

As a child, you tried to take notes on how the Betas seemed to be able to de-escalate any and all types of conflict, always seeming to have a solution that would placate everyone. Now that you were an adult, you found yourself going to those same Betas whenever you had conflicts with your parents or your best friends, because you knew that they would understand you. 

As a child, you thought that it was the coolest thing when you watched the Omegas essentially hold the pack together. They were the ones who gave birth, they were the ones who mostly took on child rearing and cooking (even though the Alphas and Betas in your pack always helped out as well), and they were always there when you happened to skin your knee as a child or just needed comfort. Once you became an adult and presented, you found yourself gravitating more towards the Omegas as you were also one now, and they took you under their wings as you learned just what it really meant to be an Omega. 

So in short, you loved your pack and you were extremely grateful for everything that they had taught you. Oddly enough, that gratefulness is exactly how you ended up in this situation. 

“We really appreciate the fact that you’re doing this for us Y/N,” your Alpha father, Byung-hoon told you as he, you, and your mother Deiji waited on the edge of the Kim Pack’s territory. 

“I told you that it’s fine Daddy,” you muttered, bouncing yourself up and down on the tips of your toes.

“Taking on this huge responsibility for our pack isn’t fine, but we’re grateful that you’re willing to do it,” Deiji said. Instead of answering her though, you decided to change the subject.

“Their territory really is beautiful,” you pointed out as you looked around, seeing multiple bushes of plum blossoms and azaleas. “At least I’ll have something pretty to look forward to once I move here.”

“That you will,” a deep voice added and when you turned around, you saw a large, muscular man walking towards you and following behind him was an almost equally tall woman who was easily one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen in your life. 

“Ah, hello Pack Alpha Ho-jin,” your father bowed and you and your mother followed his lead, holding the bow for a few seconds before straightening up again. 

“Hello Pack Alpha Byung-hoon,” Ho-jin replied as he and the woman bowed as well. “This is my wife, Pack Omega Eun Kyung.”

“Nice to meet you all,” Eun Kyung smiled. 

“This is my wife, Pack Omega Deiji and this is our daughter, Y/N,” Byung-hoon introduced.

“Hello,” Deiji smiled.

“Hello,” you echoed, even though your smile was a bit more forced than your mother’s.

“Oh, you are absolutely gorgeous,” Eun Kyung gushed as she stepped forward, reaching out and grabbing your hands. “Our son is a lucky man.”

“I’m sure that I am lucky as well, Pack Omega,” you replied.

“Please, call me Eun Kyung,” she corrected you. “I am going to be your mother-in-law soon.”

“Speaking of, where is Namjoon?” Your father wondered.

“He went off hunting with some of the other Alphas and Betas in our pack,” Ho-jin explained. “We plan on having a very big feast in order to celebrate their impending nuptials and he decided to go and try to find some extra meat.”

“Yeah, or to avoid meeting the wife that he doesn’t want,” you thought to yourself.

“He sounds like he’ll be an amazing provider and Alpha,” your mother smiled.

“Well, why don’t we all go into my office so that we can go over the terms and conditions of their marriage?” Ho-jin suggested before turning to look at you. “Y/N-ah, feel free to look around our territory and get a feel of the place. This will be your home soon, after all.”

“Of course,” you nodded. “Thank you.” After receiving a kiss on your head from your father and a pat on the hand from your mother, you watched silently as the four of them walk away together. As soon as they were out of sight, you let out a large rush of breath that you didn’t even realize you were holding. Even though you weren’t completely excited about this arrangement, your inner Omega wanted the parents of your future husband to like you and after meeting them, you were happy that you could seemingly not have that to worry about. 

Deciding to take your future father-in-law’s advice, you walked away from the front of their territory and ventured around. You were amazed at how vast their territory seemed to be in comparison to your pack’s, large buildings and houses searching as far as your eyes could see. As you walked, you took notice of what seemed to be a schoolhouse, a building that seemed to be a sort of meeting hall, and even a building that looked like a store front with mannequins in the window.

The thing that caught your attention though, was a large archway that was covered in gorgeous magnolia flowers. When you stepped over to it, you gasped at what laid behind it: A large wall full of nothing but magnolias stood a few feet beyond the arch, a small bench placed in front of it. 

“Gorgeous,” you whispered in awe as you stepped over to the wall, reaching out and gently touching the flowers. 

“Who are you?” A deep voice called out and you jumped up a little, your heart almost beating out of your chest as you turned around to find the source of the voice. Standing right underneath the archway, was a tall, tan skinned man whose presence seemed to command attention. 

“I-I’m Y/N L/N,” you replied, still feeling a little hesitant and the man’s eyes widened. 

“You’re Y/N?” He wondered and you nodded your head. “Well, you’re a lot prettier than I thought you’d be.”

“I’m sorry, who are you?” You questioned. 

“I’m Kim Namjoon,” he said, smiling at the soft gasp that escaped you. “Your future husband.”

“Oh,” was all you could utter in response because holy shit, your future husband was hot.

“Where are your parents?” Namjoon asked as he stepped closer to you. “I assume that you didn’t come here alone.”

“Um, they’re talking to your parents about the ‘terms and conditions’ of our marriage,” you told him and he scoffed out a laugh.

“Of course they are,” he chuckled as he took a seat on the small bench. “Well, I think that while they’re doing that, you and I should probably go over our own terms and conditions.”

“Our own?” You echoed as you sat down on the bench as well.

“Seeing as though we’re both fundamentally being forced into this, I figure that there’s things that you don’t want and that you do want,” he said. 

“That’s..true, I guess,” you nodded. “You go first.”

“Well, seeing as though you weren’t raised in this pack, I’d like for you to learn the ways of the pack and just be a proper wife,” he began.

“I’ve been learning about your pack since the discussions of a possible arrangement started,” you told him. “I have to wonder though, what exactly is your definition of a ‘proper’ wife.”

“Basically, just keeping house, cooking and cleaning,” he elaborated. “As my father plans to step down once we’re married, I’ll be too busy running the pack.”

“Well, sorry to burst your bubble but I wasn’t raised to be a docile Omega and I don’t plan on becoming one once we’re married,” you huffed.

“Why not? I mean, surely you don’t expect to run the pack with me?” He laughed.

“Actually, that’s exactly what I expect,” you smiled. 

“How can you expect to lead this pack when they don’t know you?” He asked.

“Since I’m going to be here for the rest of my life, then they’ll have every opportunity to get to know me,” you shrugged. 

“We’ll talk more about that one later,” Namjoon sighed. “Anything that you wanted specifically?”

“I know that your pack is going to be providing aid to mines once we’re married and as much as I plan on being involved in this pack, I also hope that you don't expect me to never see my pack again,” you said. 

“That’s the custom when you marry into another pack though,” Namjoon pointed out. “Plus, no offense or anything, but your pack is broke in terms of both money and resources and I don’t imagine there to be much to even go back to.”

“I am my parent’s only child and my pack is very close knit so I’d love to still be able to see them and for them to come see me,” you continued. “At least three or four times a year.”

“Alright, I guess that’s reasonable,” he relented. “Especially under these circumstances.”

“Thank you,” you smiled. 

“Oh, another thing,” he said suddenly. “I know that this marriage isn’t exactly something that either of us want but you cannot have any...uh, lovers on the side.”

“I’d never do something like that,” you frowned. “But I hope you know that the same goes for you.”

“That’s fine,” Namjoon nodded. “It’s not my style anyways.”

“In addition to that, I read your pack’s history and the whole taking more than one Omega as a wife thing isn’t going to fly with me,” you stated firmly.

“It’s tradition though,” he shot back. “Every leader of this pack throughout its’ history has had more than one spouse.”

“Your father doesn’t,” you pointed out. 

“Because he didn’t want one.”

“And you do?” You demanded to know and Namjoon just chuckled.

“You really meant that whole not a docile Omega thing, huh?” He wondered and you nodded while smirking. 

“You’re going to be Pack Alpha,” you said. “You have the authority to change tradition.”

“Fine, no additional Omegas,” he agreed. “I hope that means you’re going to be willing to have lots of pups then, since that’s what the whole multiple Omegas rule was for.”

“How many?” 

“At least 5,” he replied and you just laughed.

“5 is a pretty big number coming from a man who’s not going to be pushing them out,” you giggled. “Two, at most.”

“Three?” Namjoon bargained and after thinking for a few seconds, you nodded your head. 

“Deal,” you answered. “Anything else?”

“Just one more,” he added. “No roses at our wedding.”

“What? Why?”

“They’re overrated and cliché,” he shrugged. 

“What about magnolias?” You asked. “Those are my favorites.”

“I like those,” he smiled.

“Well, it’s settled then,” you announced. “No roses.”

“You know, this marriage thing is easier than I thought,” Namjoon said thoughtfully, making you giggle at him. “Do you have anything else you wanted to bring up?”

“Nope,” you shook your head. “I’m good.”

“Shake on it?” He extended his hand out to you and you let him grab onto yours, shaking each other’s hands. 

“Namjoon?” A deep voice called out and Namjoon sighed heavily. 

“That’s my dad,” Namjoon told you. “Should we head out there?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, standing up and waiting for Namjoon to do the same before the two of you walked back towards the front of their territory. As you did so, you couldn’t help but to Namjoon hadn’t let go of your hand the entire time.

“Ah, I see that the two of you met and are getting along!” Ho-jin announced happily.

“I’d say that we are,” Namjoon nodded as he looked down at you, and you nodded as well. 

“Well, why don’t we all move into our house?” Eun Kyung suggested. “We can have dinner and get to each other more.” After receiving nods all around, the group of you began to move towards the large cluster of houses that were a few yards away from where you were currently standing. As you let Namjoon lead you, you thought that maybe all of this actually wouldn’t be so bad. 

..........................................

A few days later, your time visiting Namjoon’s pack was winding down. After the first day, your father had happily told you that the negotiations between him and Namjoon’s father went off without a hitch and that the wedding could move forward immediately so the last few days of your visit had been spent planning your wedding.

“So maybe you and Namjoon can have your ceremony closer to the evening?” Eun Kyung suggested. “So that way we can move right into the reception afterwards.” You, her and your mom were currently in the dining room of Ho-jin and Eun Kyung’s house, going over some wedding details.

“That’s a good idea,” Deiji concurred. 

“Yeah,” you agreed. “Having the ceremony around 5pm sounds good.”

“Great,” Eun Kyung smiled as she wrote some things down onto the notepad that was on the table in front of her. “A later ceremony will hopefully ease some of the anxiety you’ll have that day.”

“Anxiety?” You asked.

“About your wedding night,” Eun Kyung clarified and your eyes widened. “When Ho-jin and I got married, we had our ceremony in the early afternoon and I was so nervous waiting for the reception to come because I knew what was going to happen afterwards and I had never been to bed with anyone before.”

“Oh,” you murmured. Of course, you knew that it was expected that you’d have sex with Namjoon on your wedding night and if it were up to your parents and Namjoon’s parents, get pregnant immediately but you had done your best not to actually think about it.

“Anyways, I think maybe roses for the flowers,” Deiji changed the subject and you gave her a small smile in thanks. 

“Oh, that would be gorgeous,” Eun Kyung gasped. “Namjoon’s grandmother actually has a garden full of red roses and I’m sure that she won’t mind us using some.”

“Actually, no roses,” you spoke up and both older women looked at you.

“I thought you liked roses, Y/N-ah,” Deiji said.

“I do, but Namjoon doesn’t,” you explained. “We agreed on magnolias instead.”

“You both agreed?” Deiji repeated and you nodded your head, making her smile. “That’s great.”

“You know, it’s so nice to see you actually trying to make the best of this whole thing Y/N,” Eun Kyung said. “I know it’s not ideal and you could be fighting this tooth and nail but the fact that you’re not says a lot about your character.”

“Thank you,” you smiled lightly. 

“Alright, magnolias it is,” Eun Kyung muttered as she wrote that down onto her notepad as well. Before the conversation could continue any further though, there was a sudden knock and when you looked up, you saw Namjoon standing in the door way to the dining room. 

“Hey, you all back from hunting so soon?” Eun Kyung wondered, referring to how Ho-jin, Namjoon, and Byung-hoon had decided to go off and hunt right after lunch. 

“Animals weren’t really out,” Namjoon shrugged. “Dad wanted to show Pack Alpha Byung-hoon our warehouse and I decided to come back here to spend time with Y/N.”

“With me?” You echoed in awe and Namjoon nodded.

“I wanted to show you around a little more, if you’re willing,” he offered. Before answering, you looked over at your mother who immediately waved her hands at you.

“Go, go,” she encouraged you. “We’re here for another two days so we can pick this up again later. Right, Eun Kyung?”

“Absolutely,” she agreed, turning to look at Namjoon after. “Show her the river.”

“I got it Mom,” Namjoon chuckled. “Y/N?”

“Sure,” you replied before standing up, walking over to Namjoon and grabbing his outstretched hand. 

“We’ll be back by dinner,” he called out to your mothers before turning around and leading you through the living room and out of the house. 

“Thanks for getting me out of there,” you said as the two of you walked down the front steps and began to walk away from the cluster of houses. “All that wedding planning was starting to get to my head.”

“I figured, which is why I got out of there right after lunch,” Namjoon laughed. “But I also genuinely wanted to spend some time with you too. It feels like I haven’t had a moment alone with you since the first day you got here.”

“I think our families are making sure of that,” you pointed out. “I think they’re afraid that we may realize that we hate each other if they leave us alone together for too long.”

“I think that’s actually a great assumption,” he chuckled. “They don’t have to worry about that though, at least not on my end.”

“Mines either,” you murmured shyly. “So, where are you taking me?”

“Well, even though my mom suggested that I take you to the river, I think that there’ll be plenty of time for you to see that later,” he told you. “I actually want to show you something that I’ve been working on.”

“Cool,” you nodded as the two of you continued to walk and you noticed that he was still holding onto your hand. On their territory, there were a few different clusters of houses and Namjoon was leading you over to a different one, stopping in front of what seemed to be the largest house. 

“What do you think?” Namjoon asked and you took a second to look over the outside, liking how it was painted a light brown color, had a large porch that already had a swing attached to the ceiling of it, and a large set of stairs. 

“I think it’s beautiful,” you smiled. “You built this?”

“Yeah, for us,” he revealed and you looked over at him in shock. “What? I hope you didn’t think we’d be living with my parents once the wedding is over.”

“Namjoon, I don’t even know what to say,” you murmured in awe.

“Want to take a look inside?” Namjoon wondered, reaching down and pulling a set of keys out of his pocket. You nodded your head rapidly and he chuckled before leading you up the stairs and unlocking the front door. Walking inside, you let out another soft gasp as you looked around. 

As soon as you walked into the front door, there was a little open space which could be used to place your shoes and jackets and then a staircase that led upstairs to the second level of the house. On your left hand side, there was an archway that lead into the dining room and kitchen and then on your right hand side, there was another archway that lead into the living room and another room that Namjoon said he planned on converting into a study. Once you went upstairs, you saw that there were a total of five bedrooms and the master bedroom was the largest and complete with an en suite as well. 

“I love it,” you gushed as you turned to look at Namjoon, who was leaning up against one of the walls in what would soon be your shared bedroom. 

“I thought I’d leave the decorating up to you,” he said. “That way you’ll have control over something here.”

“Good, because I already have ideas,” you grinned, deciding to throw caution to the wind and walking over to him, not waiting for him to ask what you were doing before throwing your arms around him. He hesitated for a second before hugging you back as well, and the two of you stood there for a few seconds with your arms around each other. 

“I’m happy that you like it,” he whispered and you craned your neck in order to look up at him. 

“I really appreciate it,” you told him.

“Anything for my future wife,” he smiled and it was when he said that that you realized how close the two of you still were. You dropped your arms from around him and stepped back, forcing him to let go of you as well. Feeling your cheeks warm up from embarrassment, you turned your back towards him and walked over towards the window to look outside.

“You know Y/N, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Namjoon began. “Why did you agree to all of this?”

“What, marrying you?” You asked for clarification and Namjoon nodded.

“I mean, I know the basic reason why but I feel like there’s more to it than that,” he said. “A lot of packs run out of money and resources at some point but their leaders usually figure something out instead of marrying off their children in return for more resources.”

“True,” you sighed before turning to look at him over your shoulder. “Long story short, I don’t want my pack to die out just because of my father’s mismanagement. I love every member of my pack and they have all been so vital to how I grew up and how I’ve become the person that I am. If me marrying into another pack will guarantee that those people can continue to live comfortably, then I’ll do it.”

“That’s incredibly selfless,” Namjoon replied as he walked over to stand next to you. 

“I guess so,” you shrugged. “But to me, I’m just repaying the people who gave me so much.”

“That’s amazing Y/N,” he muttered. 

“What about you?” You reversed the question. “Why did you agree to this?”

“Well, my reasoning was a lot more selfish than yours,” he chuckled. “It’s always been my dream to lead the pack and when my father came to me a few months ago saying that he was getting ready to want to step down, I was super excited. However, it concerned him that I’m 26 and not mated to anyone yet so he made it a stipulation that I meet someone and get mated before he allows me to take over for him. Since I planned on getting married at some point in my life, that stipulation really didn’t matter to me so I agreed.”

“Ah, I guess that explains why you weren’t too keen on me wanting to run the pack with you,” you said.

“Kind of,” he shrugged. “Although, after hearing why you agreed to all of this, I have to admit that I’m reconsidering that.”

“Really?” You smiled hopefully. 

“Of course, you’ll still have to get to know the pack and our ways,” he pointed out. “But I don’t think it would be the worst thing to have you by my side.”

“Great!” You exclaimed happily and Namjoon couldn’t help but to laugh from how excited you clearly were. 

“Do you want to go look in the other bedrooms?” He suggested. “Maybe see what you might want to do with them?” 

“Mm, we don’t have to. I don’t want to overwhelm myself,” you giggled. “Why did you make so many bedrooms anyways?”

“Well, for our future children,” he confessed and you felt your cheeks immediately become hotter. 

“Oh,” you whispered. 

“Is that ok?” Namjoon wondered. “I know it might’ve been a little presumptuous of me, especially since I did it before we had our conversation about what we both wanted the other day.”

“No, no, no, it’s....it’s fine,” you shrugged. 

“Oh, I get it,” he smirked. “You haven’t been with anyone, have you?”

“Namjoon!” You shouted in surprise.

“You’re nervous,” he surmised. 

“Can you blame me?” You scoffed. “I mean, it’s already embarrassing to have basically everyone know that I’m a virgin but knowing what’s expected of us on our wedding night....it’s nerve wrecking.”

“It’s not that big of a deal Y/N,” he shrugged. 

“Aren’t you nervous?” You asked him, only to see him shake his head. “Why not?”

“Because I’ve thought about filling you with my knot since the first day that I saw you,” Namjoon confessed. “So if you let me have sex with you on our wedding night, I’d consider myself to be a very lucky man.”

“Really?” You whispered.

“Of course, but I’m not going to push you,” he told you. “If you deicide that you don’t want to, then that’s completely fine. If you do though, just know that I’ll be more willing.”

“Good to know, I guess,” you muttered, more so to yourself but Namjoon still laughed at you. 

“Cute,” he smiled widely as he reached down and grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

..........................................

A month later, your wedding day had finally come. After spending a week in Namjoon’s territory, you and your parents had traveled back to your pack’s territory where you prepared for the wedding alone. The only other time that you were able to see Namjoon had been when he and his parents decided to visit your territory in order to sign the treaty that would make the connection between your two packs official. 

Fast forward to now, you were standing in the guest bedroom of Namjoon’s parents’ house, getting ready with your mom and your two best friends. 

“I really wish you would’ve let me make you a more form fitting dress Y/N-ah,” Taehyung sighed as he pullzed up the zipper on the back of your dress. Your dress was pure white, with long billowing sleeves, a scooped neckline, and a loose, long skirt with a small train. 

“You know that I hate tight clothing,” you pointed out. “This feels more like me.”

“And you look beautiful,” Jimin spoke up, taking a second to stick his tongue out at Taehyung.

“That you do,” Deiji grinned widely as she placed a crown of magnolias on top of your head. “You look like a dream.”

“Thanks Mommy,” you giggled. Just then, there was a sudden knock on the door. 

“Everyone decent in there?” Your father called out and Jimin walked over to the door and opened it up, making your father gasp when he saw you. 

“Oh Y/N-ah,” he murmured as he paced over to you, setting his hands on your cheeks. “My baby girl.”

“What do you think?” You asked him. 

“I think that Namjoon is a very lucky man to be marrying such a gorgeous woman,” Byung hoon replied, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your cheek. “You ready? There’s still time to back out and we can always figure something else out.”

“I’m not gonna do that Daddy,” you huffed with a smile, reaching out and taking the bouquet of magnolias that Taehyung was handing to you. “I’m gonna do this.”

“We can’t thank you enough,” your father murmured and you just leaned forward, giving him a kiss on the cheek as well. 

“What’s done is done,” you said. “So don’t stress about it.”

“Well, let’s go get you married,” Taehyung smiled as he reached up and pulled your veil down over your face.

“Let’s,” you whispered as you wrapped your hand around your father’s arm and let him lead you out of the bedroom. 

The ceremony was an unrushed affair once you met Namjoon underneath the little archway that had been placed near the large wall of magnolias where the two of you had first met. You found yourself not even paying much attention to what was happening during the ceremony and before you knew it, you were facing Namjoon as the preacher pronounced you man and wife.

It wasn’t the first time that you’d ever been kissed, but it still felt different all the same. Namjoon was so gentle as he reached out and grabbed the hem of your veil, lifting it up and over your head to reveal your face. He then placed his hands on your cheeks, cradling them as he leaned forward and kissed you softly. You found yourself kissing back on instinct, your hands reaching out and grabbing onto his suit jacket. 

The reception was definitely more fun than you imagined it to be. The food was amazing and so was the music, and you couldn’t help but to smile at how everyone in your new pack danced around happily as they celebrated your marriage. You found yourself having fun as well as you allowed Eun Kyung and Ho-jin to lead you around, introducing you to some members of the pack as well as spending time with your own family and friends as well.

Now that the night was over though, you were quietly walking back to your new house with Namjoon, which had been decorated to your liking. 

“Did you have fun?” Namjoon asked and you looked over at him, nodding your head.

“I did,” you smiled. “Your pack sure knows how to throw a party.”

“It’s your pack now too,” he pointed out and you hummed in reply. Once your new house came into view, Namjoon helped you walk up the front steps before pulling out his keys and unlocking the front door. 

“Wait,” he said when you moved to step into the house and before you could ask what he was doing, he leant down and picked you up bridal style.

“Namjoon!” You shrieked as he carried you into the house and you reached out to shut the front door for him. He then carried you up the stairs and into your bedroom before setting you down on the ground.

“What was that?” You giggled as you looked up at him.

“Well, I couldn’t let you be deprived of a prime wedding experience,” he shrugged, making you smile. A somewhat awkward silence then settled over the two of you then and it wasn’t until then that you felt your nerves kick in. You had been successful in not thinking much about your wedding night for the past few weeks but now that the two of you were alone, it was all that you could think about. 

“You know,” Namjoon spoke up suddenly. “We don’t have to do anything tonight.”

“Namjoon, we talked about this,” you replied.

“We did and I meant what I said then,” he said. “We don’t have to do anything just because people might expect us to.”

“Really?”

“Really. Plus, it’s kind of insulting if you only have sex with me because you’re expected to,” he joked, making you giggle.

“You have a point,” you smiled. “What if I said that I wanted to though, because I want to?”

“Do you remember what else I said to you when we had that conversation?” He wondered and you felt your cheeks warm up immensely as you recalled his words. 

“Yes.”

“What did I say baby?” 

“You said that you, uh, wanted to....uh,” you stammered and Namjoon smiled, deciding to take pity on you.

“I said that I wanted to fill you with my knot,” he finished for you. “And I still mean that.”

“You’ll be gentle?” You checked.

“Absolutely,” he stated firmly. “And I’ll go as slow as you need me to.” You knew that this was a big step, losing your virginity. However, something about Namjoon made you feel so at ease and besides, he was your husband now.

“I want to,” you announced, causing him to grin widely.

“Can I kiss you?” He requested and you nodded your head. He reached up and placed his hands on your cheeks before leaning down and pressing his lips against yours. You immediately moved closer to him, placing your hands near his waist. He then took one of his hands off of your cheek and before you could ask what he was doing, he reached up and took the crown of magnolias off your head before throwing it over his shoulder.

“Someone seems eager,” you teased.

“You have no idea,” Namjoon chuckled deeply. He kissed you again, this time much deeper as he walked you backwards towards the bed. Once you felt the edge of the bed hit the back of your knees, you pulled away from his lips and looked up at him. 

“Help me take this off?” You whispered, taking a second to turn around so that your back was facing him. Without any hesitation, he reached out and pulled down the zipper on the back of your dress. The feeling of his fingertips against your skin made you shiver and when your dress dropped down to the floor in a pool around your feet, the feeling of his eyes on you made you get chills. 

“Did you wear this for me?” Namjoon asked before leaning forward and pressing kisses along the curve of your shoulder, referring to the white, lace bra and panty set that you had been wearing underneath your dress. 

“Maybe,” you breathed out, his lips on your skin making it hard for you to focus. 

“Gorgeous. Lay down for me?” He said and you nodded before bending down and crawling onto the bed. When you flipped over to lie on your back, Namjoon was working on taking off his suit jacket and unbuttoning the white dress shirt that he had underneath.

“You still ok?” He checked in as he climbed onto the bed as well and you smiled as you reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“I’m ok,” you confirmed, leaning up and kissing him again. The kiss quickly became heated, your mouth falling open as Namjoon slipped his tongue inside. He then pulled away from your mouth, moving down to press kisses to your jaw before moving down to your neck. 

“Been thinking about this, about you,” he whispered against your skin and you just blushed as you looked up at the ceiling.

“About me?” 

“Mmhmm,” he hummed. “Been thinking about your scent too.”

“What do I smell like to you?” You wondered, doing your best to keep your eyes trained on the ceiling as you felt him start to move down again. 

“Like...pineapples and bananas,” he murmured as he grabbed the cups of your bra, pulling them down so that they sat right underneath your breasts. He then leaned down and sucked your right nipple into his mouth, making you arch your back up from the bed.

“Holy, huh,” you moaned and Namjoon chuckled at you, which automatically made you pout. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized after popping your nipple out of his mouth. “You’re just so cute.” You couldn’t find the words to say anything else because Namjoon reached underneath you and you lifted your back up so that he could take your bra off completely, and he didn’t waste any time before taking your left nipple into his mouth. 

Once both of your nipples had stiffened to a peak, he moved downwards again, trailing his lips across your skin until he made it down to the line of your panties. 

“Lift up for me?” Namjoon asked and slowly, you lifted your hips and waited until he had grabbed the waistband of your panties and pulled them down before lowering your body back onto the bed. Once he pulled them off of your legs and threw them off the bed, you watched as he sat his hands on your knees and looked down at you. 

“Still good?” He wondered.

“Seriously, stop asking,” you giggled. “I’m nervous as hell but I want to do this so I’m good.”

“I just, you know you can tell me to stop at anytime and I will, right?” 

“I know, and that’s why I want this,” you smiled. “Want you to give me a bite.”

“Fuck, ok,” he exhaled harshly. “I want to eat you out first though.”

“Ok,” you nodded and you allowed him to push your knees apart, exposing your folds to him. He laid down on the bed so that he was right in between your legs, and you let out a loud gasp when you felt his tongue make contact with your clit. He used the tip of his tongue to make slow circles around your clit and even though he wasn’t placing a lot of pressure behind it, you felt like you were going to lose your mind.

“Holy shit, that feels...good,” you huffed and you felt Namjoon hum against you as he closed his entire mouth around your clit. The feeling was almost euphoric, and you couldn’t believe that you had been missing out on this for the last few years since you presented as an Omega.

“I’m gonna give you a finger ok?” Namjoon spoke up after taking his mouth off of you and you nodded, wincing lightly when he began to push his pointer finger inside of you. He then began to slowly pump the digit in and out of you, which made you moan lightly. 

“Feels good?” He asked. 

“Yeah. Weird but good,” you told him. 

“Good,” he smirked. “You’re getting wet.”

“Don’t say that,” you groaned. 

“Why not? It’s a good thing,” he shrugged. “It’ll make it easier for you to take my knot.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Good thing you’re stuck with me,” he smiled before leaning down and taking your clit back into his mouth. As he fingered and licked you simultaneously, you found it a little harder to breathe because of the pleasure that was building in the pit of your stomach. 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait,” you hissed when he tried to ease his middle finger inside of you. 

“It’s ok baby, we just gotta get you stretched out a little bit,” he whispered and you just decided to be quiet and let him do it. Admittedly, you admired how much time he was taking making sure that you were properly ready and it made your heart soften because you had never had a man (other than your father) be so gentle with you. 

“Namjoon, I-I think I’m going to come,” you whimpered and Namjoon took his mouth off of your clit for a few seconds. 

“Go ahead baby,” he encouraged you before placing his mouth back on you. Sure enough, it didn’t take much longer before your body seized up, your orgasm washing over you. Namjoon continued to stroke you through it and by the time that it passed, you were reaching down and pushing him away from you. 

“Holy shit, that felt good,” you giggled, making Namjoon laugh as well. 

“That’s good,” He replied as he sat up onto his knees. When your eyes trailed downwards, they widened a little at the sight of the bulge in his pants.

“Should I, um,” you stammered as you motioned towards his pants and he looked down, chuckling before looking back up at you. 

“You don’t have to and besides, seeing you come turned me on and I doubt I’d last,” he admitted.

“Oh, ok,” you smiled shyly. He then pulled off the dress shirt that he had on, letting it fall onto the floor before moving onto his slacks, unbuttoning and unzipping them before pulling them down. He pushed them, along with his underwear, down his legs and your jaw dropped a little from the sight of his cock.

You didn’t know what you expected, but you definitely didn’t expect his cock to be so thick and long. You had to admit, actually seeing it made you even more nervous.

“Hey,” Namjoon called out and you looked up at him. “It’ll be ok. I’m still going to go slow.”

“O-Ok,” you whispered as he climbed between your legs. He reached out with two fingers and gathered some of your slickness from your orgasm before using it to lubricate his cock. 

“Ready?” He questioned as he positioned his cock right in front of your entrance and once you nodded, he slowly began to push into you. The stinging pain hit you immediately and you yelped out loud, reaching up and clutching onto Namjoon’s forearms. “Y/N?”

“Hurts,” you muttered through grit teeth.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, bending down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. He didn’t try to push any further, he waited until you gave him a small nod before pressing his hips forward again. You were almost ready to tell him to forget the entire thing as the stinging pain seemed to become worse the more he pushed into you. Before you knew it though, he had bottomed out and was looking down at you intensely.

“What?” You asked him.

“You just, you look so beautiful,” he complimented you.

“Are you just saying that because you’re inside of me right now?” You joked.

“I mean it,” he laughed. 

“Well, thank you,” you responded and he leaned down to kiss you again. He then slowly pulled his hips back before pushing back in, which caused you to let out a stuttered moan into his mouth. The pain was still thee but as he began to fuck you, it slowly went away and was replaced by what was probably the greatest pleasure that you had ever felt in your life up to that point. 

“So tight baby,” Namjoon grunted after he pulled away from the kiss. 

“F-feels so full,” you whimpered. 

“Good. I’m gonna fill you even more with my knot,” he said gruffly as he looked down at you. “You want that?”

“Yes.”

“Say it,” he instructed you.

“I-I want your.....k-knot,” you stuttered and he literally groaned at your words. He began to fuck you a little faster, making you grip onto him and wrap your legs around his waist.

“Been thinking about this,” he moaned. “Been thinking about how good you would feel wrapped around my cock.”

“Me t-too,” you confessed. 

“Fuck, you’ve been thinking about me baby?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Since you told me that you wanted to...fill me with your, uh, knot. Thought about you calling me baby too.”

“You like it?” He smiled.

“Love it.”

“Then I’ll call you that as often as I can,” he promised. He continued to fuck you, and you realized that you were feeling the same buildup of pressure that you did when he was fingering you. 

“I-I’m gonna come Namjoon,” you announced breathily and he sighed.

“Thank god,” he huffed as he began to thrust into you both faster and harder, and your grip on him became so tight that you were sure you’d leave marks on his skin. “I wanna knot you so fucking bad.”

“Do it,” you encouraged him. “Want you to bite me too.”

“Come first,” he shot back as he focused all of his energy into making sure that you did so. After a few more thrusts, you were coming right onto his cock, your essence covering more of his cock every time that he pulled it out and then pushed it right back in. 

“Ready for a bite?” He asked and you nodded your head numbly. Leaning down, he stuck his face in your neck and began to suck on the skin there. As soon as you released a moan at the feeling, you felt his teeth sink in. 

You had heard a lot about mating bites and how it would feel when you finally received one, but you could truthfully say that the feeling was indescribable. You truly felt like you were now connected to Namjoon in a way that you had never been connected with any one before and the feeling was almost so overwhelming that you almost didn’t recognize that Namjoon’s knot was pushing its’ way inside of you.

“God damn,” Namjoon groaned deeply as his knot fully popped into you, and you gasped when you felt his cum pouring into you right after. You leaned up and after finding the perfect spot, you sunk your teeth into his neck as well, giving him a mating bite too. 

Namjoon collapsed on top of you and the two of you stayed like that for a while, at least 15 minutes, basking in the after glow of your new matching mating bites. 

“No offense or anything,” you spoke up. “But you’re heavy and it’s hot in here.”

“Some offense taken,” he laughed as he lifted himself off of you. “My knot has gone down but it’s gonna hurt when I pull out.”

“Go slow, ok?” You requested and he nodded, looking down in between your legs and slowly pulling out of you. It did hurt a little and you even winced a little bit, but it wasn’t that bad all in all. 

“Y/N-ah?” He called as he laid down next to you and you gently turned over onto your side to face him.

“What happened to baby?” You simpered with a teasing smile, making him chuckle. 

“I’m still gonna call you that,” he assured you. “But I wanted to talk to you seriously.”

“Ok, shoot,” you shrugged. 

“I know that you didn’t necessarily choose all of this and neither did I, but I don’t want you to worry,” he began. “I take this marriage and this relationship just as seriously as if we met in the conventional sense and I really mean it when I say that I can see myself falling in love with you.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he smiled. “Even though we haven’t known each other long, I can already tell that you’re kind, selfless, loving, and the most gorgeous woman that I’ve ever met in my life. I’d only be so lucky if you fell in love with me.”

“Well, I think that I can fall in love with you too,” you confessed, making him grin widely. “And I hope that I do.”