#expressive design skills
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A little 15 min doodle but first post of the year has to be Bingqiu!
#hoot art#ok its time to get mushy in the tags because I doubt anyone would read them too closely#I’ve had severe art block for YEARS before I got into danmei in 2024#and it wasn’t that my skill was gone it’s just that I thought nothing I did was good enough#I started reading danmei around the summer of last year and I got SO INSPIRED#I dived into the fandom side of things (I haven’t been in a live fandom in years) and was so excited about all the art people were making#and writing! and music! and animatics!#everything was so bright and colorful and beautiful#and everyone had such cool designs for these book characters that I’d grown to love#so I took a chance and doodled a little Luo Binghe and posted him on here#and I was so taken aback by how welcoming and sweet the fandom was#it made me wanna keep taking chances and posting my art— because I think that’s one of the hardest things I’ve come to accept#that even if it’s not good enough for me#someone else may enjoy it#and ain’t it crazy that ive come to enjoy drawing again too#sure the interaction has been fun but it’s been even more fun experimenting with my style and experimenting with colors and rendering#and grayscale and angles#and composition and expressions#ahh!! art is so fun!! I forgot how fun it was!!#I had forgotten how much I loved to draw!!#and the fandom— so many ideas are exchanged and I’ve met some of the loveliest people thru the sv fandom!#tgcf too but they’re a little less chill lmao#anyways#I’ve set up a little spot in the fandom and I plan to keep at it here it’s very nice and cozy and funny and warm#huge thanks to everyone for being so kind and welcoming#and an even bigger thanks to anyone who’s interacted with my art#I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that someone took the time out of their day to like/repost these silly little doodles I post#incredible. ok bye for now :)#svsss#bingqiu
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Some sketches from these past few weeks, done to relax a bit between comic pages or while AFK-ing in Minecraft
#temeraire#william laurence#tenzing tharkay#willzing#sketch#my art#my horse drawing skills are really not getting better#also experimenting a bit with Tem's design and expressivity <3
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how do we feel about goat ears John?
#you know#like the devil#also wanted to give his design something that would make it easier to make john expressions#cause i like the skull but i do not have the skills or knowledge to make it expressive lol#john doe#malevolent#malevolent podcast
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OK AS PROMISED!!!! i worked on a BatB beast design for mason :-) while it might not be the absolute final design, i’m super excited to have made at least a draft!!!! this is also my first time drawing monsters in like. two years i’m a bit rusty 😅
#his big ol paw was hard to draw since i’m not really skilled in paws/claws… but i think it turned out nice!!!#he’s a mix of/based off the lycosa tarantula rambouillet sheep and the general characteristic of cats#that’s why his ears flatten and his eyes are drawn back!!!#also i think it could also play a part in making him adorable when he’s not gnashing his teeth. same appeal as adam/disney beast#idk how big he actually is in proportion to tulip and julius… probably big though he’s a Beast(tm)#i will probably work on the ruth & blu designs next since i have big big plans 4 them#oc stuff#oc au#crime express#beauty and the beast#batb 1991#batb au#batb#my art#au art#artwork#mason margarine
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I think they'd be happy to see how far their artwork and Jenny has gone.
#my life as a teenage robot#mlaatr#jenny wakeman#hot rod jenny#this scene from teenage robot lives in my head rent free i think about it so often#I LOVE this design for Jenny but I also love love love the scene of how she gets it I could talk about it for hours#these dudes LOVE cars and working on cars and used these skills to give a teenage girl a boost of confidence by fancying her up#in a way only they knew how to do for this one specific girl because Jenny couldn't go to a hair stylist or anything like that#and they're so proud of their work and her because its different from a car they fixed up driving away this is a living being thanking the#and expressing how much she enjoyed the work they did on her its like if the car was able to talk and thank them and express what#a great job they did they got to see how HAPPY Jenny was about the work they did on her#little me always wished Jenny went back to them because I felt like they'd happily give her another make over again
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this is approximately what rye ingellvar (they/he, transmasc) looks like btw







I have spent more time with the dragon age: the veilguard character creator than I have with some quite dear and treasured real life family members, but I think it paid off eventually. look. it's my little guy. my crypt baby babyboy. a watcher to watch
(their hair should be much curlier and cut a little differently (it falls more forward and on one side when released from its bonds than any of the actual veilguard hairs and is short in the back), but overall the design is pretty close to what I wanted!)

feat. corvid bae being dragged along to the depths of the necropolis once again to attend Double Bones with Doctor(s) Skelebones with the Mourn Watch lads, but he can't even really be annoyed about it because hanging out with rook keeps proving so infuriatingly fun even when he goes in determined to remain glum lol
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook ingellvar#I have braved figuring out how to get screenshots from ps5 to pc for this. to be able to gaze upon him. and his sharp beak of a nose❤️#at any time I please. and so I shall#I was so happy when I caught EXACTLY that expression in the first one. yeah there he is. that's him#the one where they're touching emmrich's arm looks a little bit like 'sounds like a skill issue' outside of context#but I really don't think he meant it like that hfsdkjh#it's me. vaguely 'big nose no chin can't lose' concerned. doing character design again. am I wrong tho#every so often I go in and change up his hair and makeup a little bit (except the smudged goth eyeshadow that always stays haha)#to show time passing/that he kind of switches it up now and then. this is the 'been a little while since he applied the lipstick' look#davrin's recruitment mission was the first time lucanis saw rye with his hair down and barely any makeup it was nice#(since you only have one team member with you for that one and they seem to walk around for a while; it seemed fitting)
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I truly believe in another life my Calling would be either Film/TV Historical Consultant, Set Decorator, or Casting Director
#I have a really really really good sense of Premise and Design#And a really good sense of how people interact#Despite the 'tism#Basically all these jobs involve being responsible for the visual + vibes-based expression of fictional character#And mise-en-place#And I'm GOOD at that#It is in fact one of my only skills
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Does Peppino actively enjoy using himself as a subject or does he just use it for marketing? What other things does he usually like to draw or make? Is he a wood carver? I can see him as a wood carver
Oh this is interesting; ive been stuck on this for a little bit. The needle swings between yes and no mid response lol. I think he enjoys being able to use his likeness for marketing, but less so for personal, artistic use. It feels obvious to use ur own face and/or name for ur business (one that u put so much blood sweat n tears in) but he doesnt feel compelled to draw himself. There is a level of self awareness(?) i think u have to have to even desire depicting oneself in art and i think he would be too focused on his failing business to start that process. He has more important things to do. But on the flipside; i think he would look at his own creations (for his business) and regard them as reminders of his failures. So he wouldnt have the best opinion of himself.
But! i think he would enjoy others depictions of his likeness. Despite his awkwardness, he enjoys putting on a show, he enjoys performing to some degree, he likes entertaining a crowd. He feeds off of positive attention (like most people do) even if it leaves him a little flustered. People take pictures of him and he smiles earnestly. He doesnt have the words for it, but it is grounding to see himself outside of his business and existing outside of his failures.
This obv gets better postgame as he gets more support for his business. But also, as Pepperman starts to take genuine interest in his form to use as a muse. It is the perfect balance of him enjoying being an art subject, without him having to Make the art. And tying his visage to a now profitable, successful shop, makes him feel a bit better about seeing his own caricature on the storefront. I can see him in Peppermans studio being convinced to draw himself on canvas, and instead of his usual caricature style, it is an attempt at realism with him waving hi towards the ‘camera’, which is a nice contrast to Peppermans first picture of Peppino looking very blue and very sad. Pepperman is delighted lol look at his muse branching out !!!! Pepperman does not do this for anyone but he lets Peppino take the picture home with him (‘But you must promise to give me a copy of this to hang in my studio 😊 PROMISE ME-‘)
And yes, Peppino wood carves bc Peshino is a wood carved toy!! Hes got some bits in him to let him move around w a simple wind up mechanism. I dont think Peppino would do this in his free time prior to postgame, but as he gets more (positive) time to himself, he starts to take up some easy crafts. Wood carving when hes home and watching tv, and sculpting/painting when hes at Peppermans studio.
#chattin#answered#peppino#heehee thank u so much for this; it really scratched a good itch on my brain#i am sorry but if u ask about Art and Depiction of the Self#well u are simply opening the doors for the autsim to crawl out#i did not add this bc i felt like it was already too lengthy#but the reason he even does the logo and peshino design is bc i hc him as a bit of an artist in his youth!!#so it was something that was nutured and encouraged#but at some point it shifted and it was no longer a form of expression#and simply a Skill he had to make life easier (why hire an artist if i can just do it myself?)#but he gets some of that love back postgame :)
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Can You Learn to Sew Online? A Comprehensive Look at Your Options with ONSA
At ONSA - Online Sewing Academy, the world of stitching and garment construction should be accessible to everyone, regardless of location or schedule. In today's digital age, online learning has revolutionized how we acquire new skills, making it possible to master intricate crafts like sewing from the comfort of our homes. But can you truly become an expert stitcher through virtual classes alone? Let's explore the options available and how ONSA empowers you to embark on an enriching sewing journey.
The Beauty of Pre-Recorded Video Lessons
Ah, the world of pre-recorded tutorials - a treasure trove of knowledge at your fingertips! ONSA's extensive library of meticulously crafted video lessons offers a comprehensive exploration of sewing techniques, from the fundamentals of threading a needle to the intricacies of advanced garment construction. One of the most significant advantages of this format is the ability to learn at your own pace, rewinding and revisiting lessons as many times as needed until each stitch and seam becomes second nature.
Our pre-recorded videos are thoughtfully designed to cater to diverse learning styles, combining visual demonstrations with clear, concise explanations. Whether you're a visual learner who thrives on observing each step or an auditory learner who appreciates detailed verbal guidance, our lessons ensure that no aspect of the sewing process is left unexplained.
While budget-friendly and convenient, we understand that pre-recorded content may lack the human interaction that many pupils crave – the ability to ask questions, receive real-time feedback, and benefit from the personalized attention of an experienced instructor. This is where our live, interactive classes come into play.
The Magic of Live, Interactive Classes
Imagine having a seasoned ONSA instructor by your virtual side, guiding you through the intricate sewing world with patience and expertise. Our live, online classes provide an immersive, interactive experience replicating the intimacy of a physical classroom setting. Through video conferencing technology, you can follow along with your instructor, ask questions as they arise, and receive real-time feedback on your technique.
One of the most significant advantages of live classes at ONSA is the ability to learn at a pace that suits your individual needs. Our instructors are adept at adapting their teaching methods to accommodate varying skill levels, ensuring that every student feels included and supported. Whether you're a complete novice taking your first tentative stitches or a skilled stitcher seeking to elevate your art, our talented teachers can customize lesson plans to align with your unique goals and aspirations.
From mastering the art of inserting invisible zippers to acquiring advanced draping skills for haute couture designs, our live classes cover various topics, catering to hobbyists and aspiring professionals. Private one-on-one sessions and small group workshops provide ample opportunity for personalized guidance, fostering an environment where questions are welcomed, and challenges are addressed with patience and expertise.
The ONSA Edge: A Holistic Approach to Sewing Education
At ONSA, we understand that sewing is more than just a practical skill – it's an art form that combines technical precision with creative expression. Our approach to online sewing education is rooted in this philosophy, nurturing both the technical and artistic aspects of this timeless craft.
Our team of expert instructors, each with years of industry experience and a passion for teaching, has thoughtfully crafted a multifaceted curriculum that covers the entire spectrum of sewing, from understanding fabric properties and pattern drafting to mastering advanced construction techniques and exploring fashion design principles.
By combining our comprehensive library of pre-recorded video resources with live, interactive sessions, ONSA provides a 360-degree learning experience tailored to your schedule, skillset, and aspirations. Whether you prefer the convenience of self-paced learning or thrive on the dynamic energy of a virtual classroom, our blend of educational formats ensures that your sewing journey is enriching, engaging, and tailored to your unique needs.
Beyond the technical aspects of sewing, ONSA also emphasizes the importance of nurturing creativity and self-expression. Our lessons encourage students to experiment with fabric choices, color combinations, and design elements, fostering an environment where individuality is celebrated and personal style is cultivated.
Sewing Mastery: A Journey, Not a Destination
At ONSA, we firmly believe that sewing mastery is a lifelong pursuit, a continuous learning and refinement journey. Our online academy is designed to support you at every stage of this journey, from your first tentative stitches to the creation of intricate, couture-worthy garments.
As you progress through our curriculum, you can participate in virtual sewing circles, where you can connect with fellow stitchers, share your creations, and seek inspiration from a community of like-minded individuals. Our instructors are not just teachers but mentors dedicated to your growth and success, offering guidance and encouragement every step of the way.
Sewing is more than just a hobby – it's a powerful form of self-expression, transforming fabric into wearable art that reflects your unique style and personality. At ONSA, we strive to empower you to unleash your creativity, one stitch at a time, by providing a comprehensive and immersive online learning experience tailored to your needs.
Ready to Start Stitching Your Dreams into Reality?
Whether you're a busy professional seeking a creative outlet, a stay-at-home parent looking to explore a new passion, or a lifelong stitcher yearning to elevate your skills, ONSA - Online Sewing Academy supports your sewing journey.
Explore our diverse online sewing courses today, from beginner-friendly introductions to advanced masterclasses, and unlock a world of possibilities that transcends time and space. With ONSA, the art of sewing is no longer limited by your location or schedule – it's a vibrant, accessible realm where your dreams can be woven into reality, one exquisite thread at a time.
Join our virtual community of passionate stitchers, where inspiration, camaraderie, and personal growth intertwine seamlessly. Embark on a transformative journey that will teach you sewing techniques, ignite your creativity, boost your confidence, and empower you to express your individuality through the timeless art of garment construction.
The world of sewing awaits, and at ONSA, we're committed to being your trusted guide every step of the way. Unleash your inner stitching prowess, and let your creativity take flight – the possibilities are endless.
#sewing#sewing classes#online sewing classes#learn to sew online#virtual sewing lessons#sewing tutorials#pre-recorded sewing videos#live sewing classes#interactive sewing instruction#ONSA sewing academy#sewing education#sewing mastery#garment construction#fashion design#pattern drafting#sewing techniques#creative sewing#sewing community#sewing journey#sewing skills#beginner sewing#advanced sewing#couture sewing#self-paced learning#personalized instruction#sewing mentorship#sewing creativity#sewing expression#wearable art#fabric art
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in general i think itd be fun to try out more character designing techniques again. i have some intense habits coming from making little doodle comics that can only be described as: designed with the expectation that i'll have to draw it 7 times in a row
#which isnt a bad thing. but its something i very much lean into LOL#ESPECIALLY with clothing. i have fun with like expressions and demeanour and recently hair silhouette has been very exciting to play with#but clothes? i am putting you in a t shirt. sorry.#this design philosophy works fantastic if im making facial expression and dialogue focused comics like wordy comedies or maybe a melodrama#but for other mediums im passionate about it does fall a little flat clothing wise. i need to bump up my abilities.#i love visual novels. i love mascot characters. i love stuff where one drawing is supposed to stand there still for a very long time#thats where i need to amp up my clothing. i must practice. i must#you know for a while there i completely wrote off my character design skills but i guess its not as bad as i thought they were#i have habits and things i lean on a bit much. and theres some samefacey samebodyey tendencies#but i have potential. i think i have potential. not enough to apply to a character design college tho LOL#BRO people irl keep telling me to do that and im like LISTEN. theyre gonna eat me alive in there even if i somehow got accepted#maybe in another place itd be different. but in ontario they'd eat me alive <3#but i will develop my skills on my own. i shall try......
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full disclosure i may also be having a Personal moment here as someone who left teaching for a number of reasons. one of those reasons being that my supervisors continually hammered in that We Have To Teach And Grade on Proper Grammar without paying any attention to the actual content, organization, or intelligibility of the students' arguments. like oh it doesn't matter if their arguments are well-founded or whether they make sense as long as they follow conventional grammatical rules. who cares if it's good writing! who cares if they expressed a well-reasoned argument! all we should care about is grammar!
#like cool. this is not helping my students in the long-term and i can see their eyes glazing over#hey man can i actually use any of the pedagogical skills or research about effective teaching methods i've reviewed? no? awesome.#can i design a lesson-plan that the students might actually be interested in based on their expressed preferences and interests? no? cool.
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ai girlfriend . pygmalion and galatea.
#pygmalion is low incelcore. hates that women have faults and have humanity#and then he creates an ideal image of a woman#who's appearance and fashions are decided by him#who cannot move or speak#and then he decides it is not wnough and prays to aphrodite to bring her to life#and they seem happy#probably galatea was designed to be happy like that#but then was she also designed to stay fundamentally a statue#with no agency no humanity#predetermined lines and expressions that would please her maker#was she ever anyone was she ever allowed to be#two people being happy together is always cause for joy#but are we certain there are two#two people#and not an artist and his doll#its ai girlfriend but he actually had skill#soup thoughts
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Oh, nooooo!!! Accidentaly little balls guy got a job. This is Ghost Ryokan arc all over again!
#my graphic designer's lament#I'M SORRY LITTLE BALLS GUY!!!!! I don't know how this keeps happening#(problem is i can't any of these expressions BUT I'M HAVING TOO MUCH FUN)#laughs in mad illustrator skills
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[cw vent: chronic illness, general world politics mention w no detail)
"man. i'm so tired. i feel like i can't do anything selfship related. is it because my energy's been sapped from family visiting and everyone wanting to do ~summer activities~ nonstop? am i so in my head about "getting ren's story right without stepping over any lines" that i've backed myself into a perfectionist corner? is the world just going to shit so hard that i can't have one (1) minute of escape on this blog before going back to working through the political hellscape we're in? god even trying to make this plushie pattern is killing me even though i want to hold my guy So Badly AUGH."
/finishes the plushie pattern after trying multiple body bases and literally buying a japanese ebook about plushie face and hair design/
"actually what if i lived forever and spent all of that time making an army of these fuckers to swim in? what then?"
#obviously tagging this as#vent -#lol. lmao. anyway.#when i say i spent all day on this... jumping from base to base trying to find one that worked well for what i wanted#and had the right face shape and the easiest way to map a face onto it and know it'll look Right when embroidered...#and then i just caved and bought a book i'd been looking at since i started making mini ren lol#(by p.iyo p.icco -- their y.outube videos influenced mini ren's design and i plan to give that credit once i post final pics#along with the person who made the 10cm doll base i used.)#and it took so much effort and i kept thinking about how Fucking Tired i am and how frustrating it is that playing cards w family#means i have to spend 2 days recovering bc sitting up + in a chair w no good support + mental games + being social = negative battery.#and then i keep going in circles about ren's backstory and the whole 'this is a story about conditions i have but for anyone#who doesn't know me it DEFINITELY reads like a gross story about a stigmatized condition i DON'T have so i have to tread#very carefully when writing about it... but i don't practice writing like i practice art so i'm simply not at the skill level#to navigate that and it makes me feel like i can't post any of that until i figure it out' Thing...#but i DID finish my plushie pattern. and i will start on it sometime this week? depending on Factors? and if i reeeeally like how it#turns out i might buy The Plushie Making Fabric™... i checked at a craft store and buying 1/4yd of both fabrics won't break the bank...#and then i could make all of his AU selves w different expressions 😏#anyway. recovery officially starts in a few days (doc appts and pest control coming over this week + dogsitting in a few days.#not great for recovery lol lmao.) so hopefully i'll be more Around here by this weekend. idk. don't hold me to that kjsndkjn#i might get sucked into plushie making again and disappear for 3 days straight kjsdnfkjsdnf ;;;#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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Exquisite Opulence: Embracing Modern Luxury House Design in Sydney
Sydney, a city renowned for its captivating landscapes and architectural marvels, offers many possibilities for custom home design. Creating a home that reflects your unique style, preferences, and aspirations requires the expertise of a skilled custom home designer. In this article, we will delve into the world of custom home design in Sydney, exploring the benefits of working with a professional modern luxury house design in Sydney and guiding you in choosing the perfect custom home designer to bring your vision to life.
Custom Home Design: Elevating Personal Expression: Custom home design is an art form that goes beyond conventional housing. It allows homeowners to personalize every aspect of their living space, from layout and materials to intricate design details. In Sydney, custom home designers embrace the opportunity to transform visions into reality, crafting homes that embody luxury, functionality, and individuality.
The Role of a Custom Home Designer: A custom home designer is a key collaborator in the realization of your dream home. They possess the knowledge, experience, and artistic vision to translate your ideas into architectural marvels. From conceptualization to construction, a skilled custom home designer in Sydney will work closely with you, merging aesthetics with functionality and guiding you through the entire design journey.
Factors to Consider When Selecting a Custom Home Designer: a) Design Expertise and Style: Evaluate the designer's portfolio to gauge their design sensibilities and versatility. Look for a designer whose style resonates with your vision, whether it be sleek modernism, classic elegance, or a fusion of architectural influences. b) Experience and Track Record: Research the designer's experience and previous projects to ensure they have a proven track record of delivering exceptional custom homes. Consider their ability to handle complex designs, site-specific challenges, and budget constraints. c) Client Satisfaction and Testimonials: Seek feedback from previous clients to gain insights into the designer's professionalism, communication skills, and ability to meet deadlines and exceed expectations. d) Collaboration and Communication: Effective communication and a collaborative approach are crucial for a successful custom home design project. Choose a designer who actively listens to your ideas, understands your lifestyle needs, and encourages open dialogue throughout the process. e) Quality Craftsmanship and Attention to Detail: Look for a designer who prioritizes quality craftsmanship and pays meticulous attention to detail. This ensures your custom home will be built to the highest standards, resulting in a refined and enduring living space.
The Advantages of Custom Home Design in Sydney: a) Unparalleled Personalization: Custom home design allows you to tailor every aspect of your home to your specific preferences and requirements, resulting in a truly unique and personalized living space. b) Integration of Luxurious Features: Working with a custom home designer in Sydney allows you to incorporate luxurious features and amenities that enhance your lifestyle, such as state-of-the-art technology, spa-like bathrooms, and expansive outdoor entertaining areas. c) Seamless Blend of Indoor and Outdoor Living: With Sydney's mild climate and breathtaking scenery, custom home designers can create seamless transitions between indoor and outdoor spaces, maximizing the enjoyment of the surrounding natural beauty. d) Enhanced Resale Value: A thoughtfully designed custom home that showcases quality craftsmanship and exquisite design details often commands a higher resale value in the Sydney real estate market, making it a sound long-term investment.
Conclusion: The possibilities are limitless in the realm of custom modern duplex house design. By enlisting the services of a skilled custom home designer, you can transform your dream of a luxurious, tailor-made residence into a stunning reality. With careful consideration of a designer's expertise, style, and track record, you can embark on a collaborative journey resulting in a home that truly reflects your personality and desires.

#Custom Home Design: Elevating Personal Expression: Custom home design is an art form that goes beyond conventional housing. It allows homeow#from layout and materials to intricate design details. In Sydney#custom home designers embrace the opportunity to transform visions into reality#crafting homes that embody luxury#functionality#and individuality.#The Role of a Custom Home Designer: A custom home designer is a key collaborator in the realization of your dream home. They possess the kn#experience#and artistic vision to translate your ideas into architectural marvels. From conceptualization to construction#a skilled custom home designer in Sydney will work closely with you#merging aesthetics with functionality and guiding you through the entire design journey.#Factors to Consider When Selecting a Custom Home Designer: a) Design Expertise and Style: Evaluate the designer's portfolio to gauge their#whether it be sleek modernism#classic elegance#or a fusion of architectural influences. b) Experience and Track Record: Research the designer's experience and previous projects to ensure#site-specific challenges#and budget constraints. c) Client Satisfaction and Testimonials: Seek feedback from previous clients to gain insights into the designer's p#communication skills#and ability to meet deadlines and exceed expectations. d) Collaboration and Communication: Effective communication and a collaborative appr#and encourages open dialogue throughout the process. e) Quality Craftsmanship and Attention to Detail: Look for a designer who prioritizes#resulting in a refined and enduring living space.#The Advantages of Custom Home Design in Sydney: a) Unparalleled Personalization: Custom home design allows you to tailor every aspect of yo#resulting in a truly unique and personalized living space. b) Integration of Luxurious Features: Working with a custom home designer in Syd#such as state-of-the-art technology#spa-like bathrooms#and expansive outdoor entertaining areas. c) Seamless Blend of Indoor and Outdoor Living: With Sydney's mild climate and breathtaking scene#custom home designers can create seamless transitions between indoor and outdoor spaces#making it a sound long-term investment.#you can transform your dream of a luxurious#style
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.
#tag talk#learning language just makes my brain vibrate on just the right frequency#my goal for the rest of this year and the year coming is to get really good at Spanish#between Language Transfer (really fucking good go check it out thanks to my sibling recommending it to me) and then#then all the immersion I've been doing with music and TV#I feel like I stand a chance of getting genuinely good at it#I have this dream of knowing several other languages but I need to start by developing the skill with a language I'm already familiar with#and now I'm medicated I can finally push for like.. an actual goal and achievement#this feels like an extension of my obsession with communication.#which now that I think about it. a lot of things I love have a strong communication aspect to them.#music. fashion. art. they all communicate ideas.#that's even maybe what I like about porn. it's a work that's designed to communicate a very specific feeling and idea#and kink is an expression of power and trust. control and release. poetry.#do these tags read like the ramblings of a mad man? am I just throwing darts at a wall and connecting them with red string?#maybe I am crazy. but I'm not wrong. I'm autistic I'm incapable of believing I'm wrong.#is that joke in poor taste? probably.#anyway. I love communication and learning Spanish is my gateway to an entire world of ideas embedded in the structure of language itself#plus it would probably help my ability to keep up with my brother's dreams of traveling abroad#and I could help him learn languages cause I love teaching and he's not as hardwired for it as I am.#oh also I bought a vocabulary book to work through because language transfer is teaching me the grammar and structure#but I need vocabulary to back it up#I have a small work vocabulary I use with the customers who don't speak English very well. shit like “this. it works?”#but even like. idk. I'm really good at understanding people with difficult speech.#one resident at my nursing home had severe muscle degeneration and couldn't do much outside of vague flopping#but she would still try to speak and I got pretty good at understanding her and having conversations while feeding her.#she was in the navy and ate a bunch of neat food in Korea and she's the reason I finally watched Jaws for the first time#and like.. my ability to understand is what let her influence my life like that. I got to connect with another human being.#like. it's a gift that enhances my life and I want to choose to shape my life around this gift.#my love and obsession with communication is something I've had my whole life and if is something constant I need to consider it#so many other things in my life are shifting and uncertain. I want to chase the constant source of joy that's a part of who I am.
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