#my horse drawing skills are really not getting better

[andro-beaurepaire]

Some sketches from these past few weeks, done to relax a bit between comic pages or while AFK-ing in Minecraft

[yanderedrabbles]

Helloooo! I just loved the old west gang. Traumatized? Yes. Curious? Yes. But specifically the Lakota wrangler caught my attention, and oooh this part:

"""Don't be. You're my reward, my reparation." He brushed his knuckles across your cheek again.

"I've waited my whole life for you."

You wanted to ask why. What made you so special? Why did he want to keep you? ""

VAL, TELL ME WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHAT'S HIS STORY? WHAT'S HIS DEBT?

OH MY GOD HIS PART IS SO 💕💕💕💕

TELL US THEIR BACKGROUND PLEASE 🥹🥹🥹

Yandere Outlaws - The Wrangler's Past + the gang hearing about you for the first time

I think the wrangler probably has one of the most interesting backgrounds. We all know that the Wild West era was no fun at all for Native American tribes. Manifest Destiny and all the terrible things done in it's name saw Native tribes being confined to smaller and smaller reservations, with stricter and stricter rules. Bison were disappearing, the railroads were cutting across hunting lands, and permanent settlers were coming west in droves.

I think in the face of all that, the wrangler felt like he had to adapt or die. Set out on his own and try and make it in the white man's world.

I reckon he falls in with the boss after a nasty bar fight. Him against some cowboys who feel like a Lakota on "their" turf is blasphemy.

Things don't look good at all. He's a strong fighter but numbers almost always trumps skill. He's going to end up dead in the mud and no one will give a damn.

Well, until the boss arrives. Maybe the boss is an old quick draw and when the smoke settles the cowboys are down for good. Or maybe the boss just has that look to him, that keen eyed glare that makes dumb cowhands think better of their bravado.

Either way, he hauls the wrangler out of the mud and offers him a job.

"Need a man for my horses. I'll pay you good to stick with us for coupla weeks."

The wrangler agrees. Because hell, what else is there to do? And if the older man looks hard edged and hard eyed, how much does that really matter? This is the West. You either get tough or get buried.

I think one way or another, the boss earns his loyalty. He gives him a sense of belonging he hasn't felt since he set out on his own. Gives him a purpose. And well, robbing banks and derailing trains and sticking it to old Uncle Sam is about the best he can do to make up for what his tribe has been through. Just one more outlaw pricking Washington in the thumb.

And as for you, sweet thing that you are, oh, you're what he's waited for all his life.

A girl to call his own. Soft and kind, to keep the cold away. Looking in your eyes makes it so easy to forget all the shit he's been through, all the shit he's done. He's been through his share of trouble and then some. He deserves a place to rest his head, a person to call home.

So what if you aren't willing? The world has gone out of its way to take what should have been his by right. The bison, the land, the open sky and flowing water. All of it divvied up and fenced off. He's not letting anyone get in the way of the one good thing he can finally call his own.

I think the thing that initially attracts him to you is the story of you and the second in command. The second is Chinese and he hasn't had it easy either. He could either work the railroads or die in a ditch. Not the best options, but just about the only ones open to an immigrant's son.

If you were anyone else, you'd have screamed your head off when you found him bleeding in your barn.

You didn't. Instead, you put him back together and kept him safe from your pa.

When he first heard the story, it was a cold night out on the planes. They'd just pulled off a job and were sleeping rough, trying to throw the law dogs off their trail.

The second kept looking out to the west. Maybe he was keeping an eye out for pursuit, but they'd pulled their job off back east. Marshals would be coming from that direction, if at all.

Finally, he gave in to his curiosity and asked the man what the hell he was looking for.

"My girl," he said simply. "My girl stays out that way."

The outlaws grew quiet around the fire.

"I didn't know you had one," the boss said, elbows on his knees as he sharpened his boot knife. "Is that where you go off to when we're in town?"

"Mm-hmm. I like to check in on her."

The gunslingers leaned forward then, as in sync as coyotes.

"She must be one hell of a girl, if she can put up with your ugly mug."

"Is she pretty? Got those nice eyes that look up at you all sweet?"

He ignored them and went back to looking west, like he could somehow see over all those miles.

"Do you love her?" the wrangler asked suddenly. He didn't know why he asked that, just that it seemed important.

"More than I thought possible. Every time I see her it's like my heart is breaking. If I can't have her, I think I'll go mad."

The boss looked up for a second, blue eyes catching the firelight. "You gonna marry her then?"

The second laughed, uncharacteristically nervous. "She doesn't even know I exist."

The boss stopped sharpening his knife. "How do you know you love her, if you ain't never talked to her?"

"She saved my life. That's how I know."

The wrangler looked up at the sky and wondered who would go out of their way to save an outlaw.

The boss stuck his knife in his boot. "Tell us the story."

Maybe if anyone else asked, the second would have refused. You were his girl. He didn't want to share even the memory of you with other men.

But you don't say no to the boss.

When he was done telling it, the outlaws were quiet. Lost in their own thoughts. All of them thinking how sweet it would be to have a girl like that. Feeling for a second what he felt every time he thought of you.

It was the wrangler who broke the silence, only half aware he was speaking. "I'd do anything to have a girl like that. Someone so kind..."

The dark skinned outlaw leaned forward, eyes narrowed. "She sounds too good for either of you."

"And you're any better?"

He didn't get to answer. The green eyed gunslinger cut in, his voice low and mean.

"She sounds real innocent. Kind of girl who'll cry when you fuck her for the first time."

The second in command stood with a snarl, already reaching for his rifle.

"Don't."

The boss, quiet but no less dangerous for being so.

"We're all men here. We're all gonna think somethin' like that when you tell us 'bout a girl so...untouched."

The second sat back down stiffly, his jaw clenched tight.

The boss continued, "Ain't like we're gonna steal your girl from you. Let it go."

The wrangler didn't let it go though. Not even when they were back in their hideout, a whole lot richer than they were a week ago.

He stopped the second in command when he was saddling up his mustang.

"Take me with you. I want to see this girl of yours."

If it was anyone else, he'd have said no on the spot. But the wrangler had a quiet gentleness about him that made the second agree.

They watched you from a hill overlooking your father's ranch. Just two shadows against the setting sun.

One of your horses had taken sick and you were walking it around the corral. Stopping every little while to stroke its neck or rub its nose, whispering encouragement. You were patient, gentle. The hem of your skirt tucked into your belt and showing off a sliver of thigh as you moved.

The wrangler sighed and stroked his horse's neck.

"I understand now."

"Understand what?"

"Why you keep looking for her, even if you're a hundred miles away."

As they rode home, he found himself doing the same thing. Looking over his shoulder like he could somehow see you one last time.

And the first time he saw you up close? Backed up against the kitchen table, corned like a vixen at the hunt? That's when he realised exactly what you were.

You were his reward.

The one good thing he'd struggled all his life to find. You were going to be his peace. His home.

And the first time he had you? On your knees, kissing his cock, your eyelashes still wet with tears? That's when he decided he'd keep you, no matter how cruel it was. No matter that doing it would strip him of any claim to goodness. A good man wouldn't get hard seeing you cry. A good man wouldn't fuck you when all you wanted was to go home.

But then again, how could he stay a good man in a world that hated him? That wanted him dead and gone?

When he kissed you, he signed away his last bit of honour. It doesn't matter that he holds you so gently, that he touches you like a lover.

He'll never let you go. And ain't that just a bitch?

[bigfatbreak]

Hi, I've been wanting to start my own comics of my own story and I was wondering if you'd have any recommendations or tips for beginners please? I've admired your consistency with feralnette for so long!

just start it. like, for real

even if you start it and its really bad, like utter slop, you'll gain skills from just MAKING a comic. generally designing dialogue and blocking out the scene loosely is a good way to keep a good flow and rhythm, but you'll start to get a feel for it the more you work on drawing it. no matter what, by your end result, even if your beginning was near godly in its presentation you'll likely see things you could change by how much better you've gotten. and you can always go back and restart it, redraw it, redesign it. this isn't corporate and there's no HR here telling you to submit a final paper. just get on that horse and RIIIIDE BAYBEE

[dunmeshistash]

Laios Revealed in Five Keywords

5 keywords section from the Adventurer's Bible, this is transcribed from the EHScans translation for more info you can check this post. My own notes will be at the end of the post.

1. Family

Laios' family consists of his father (the village chieftain), mother, and little sister Falin. A talented mage, from a young age Falin possessed a mysterious power that allowed her to hear the voices of the dead. Others found this ability creepy, and she found herself the target of persecution because of it. Since Laios' father chose to expel Falin from the village instead of protecting her, Laios' animosity toward him has led to them not meeting for over 10 years. His mother is mentally frail and prone to being bedridden; it seems that Laios is not on good terms with her either. Incidentally, the reason why Laios looks so tidy is because at one point he grew out his hair and beard, but Falin mentioned that he was starting to "look a lot like Dad"

2. Monster research

Due to his love of monsters, others recommended that Laios become a monster scholar. However, academia presented an insurmountable barrier to Laios, and he soon gave up on that path. From most to least interesting, the types of monsters he likes are: Dragons = Animals > Magical Beings > Plants > Insects > Undead > Spirits. There is a monster scholar Laios respects, but the person in question likes to spout ridiculous, groundless theories about monster, other scholars steer clear of them at academic conferences. However, Laios is rather fond of those crazy theories

3. Unexpected Talent

As he's copied the drawings of monsters in his Monster Field Guide countless times, Laios is very good at drawing monsters. However, he's terrible at drawing anything else. The (overstuffed) "Ultimate Monster" that Laios came up with is a hybrid of: rhinoceros, bull, bird (2 species), bat, snake, horse, boar, and tiger.

4. Military Deserter

Laios enlisted in the military after graduating from school; it was there that he learned his fundamental swordsmanship skills. However, the army's regulations didn't sit well with Laios, so he ran away. He joined a caravan that passed through town, as they let him ride along with no fare so long as he helped with odd jobs. Even after he arrived at the island, Laios earned his living expenses doing things such as helping to load and unload cargo at the harbor.

5. Ban on Romance

After seeing his dungeon party nearly fall apart after two members fell in love*, Chilchuck warned Laios that workplace romances should be forbidden. Though Laios met his fiancee once and thought she was cute, the engagement was broken off after he ran away from home. Apparently, the woman in question is now a mother of three. Incidentally, since Laios' current savings are only enough to purchase a single horse and several goats, trying to find a bride would likely be a difficult task for him.

------

*I believe this was translated this way before the extra that explains the situation came out, the official translation translates it as "In the past, developing intimacy within the party led to a crisis that nearly broke it up." which I don't know if describes it better? Here's the original text "過去に仲間といい仲になりかけて 、パー��ィーが解散の危機に見舞わ れたため" as far as I can tell (considering context) it's something like "due to him getting too close to a companion the party nearly fell apart" but I can't really tell.

Stats

Timelines

Official version bellow the cut

[draconicramen]

Ethel, my TKH OC!

I didn't know about TKH until @elmushterri 's latest episode, and like someone else whose gorgeous post I saw, made a Tumblr account just for this! I really hope I'm not too late, but either way it was really fun drawing her even though it took almost nine hours!

Also since some people wanted to collaborate with eachother on how their Knights would interact with eachother, YES PLEASE I WOULD LOVE TO JOIN IN IF YOU GUYS WILL LET ME!!

Ethel was a teenager in Britain when the First World War broke out, and lived with her large family. She dressed as a man and hid her identity, usinig the fake name "Edwin", and joined the army to prevent her brother from doing so (he had to take care of the youngest children in her absence because the parents had been on vacation and were unable to travel back because of the war). She was only 16.

In the British army, she cared for the carrier pigeons as they traveled, but did her fair share of trench digging and a little fighting on the battlefield and probably won a lot of pub brawls whenever they stopped in a town, using her wits. One person in her regiment knew her secret, but kept it quiet for her, they were best friends and she was also hiding the fact he was probably too young to fight. Well, one fateful day the two of them were in a shell-hole together, and he had been hit.

Ethel died running across trenches and No Man's Land to get him to safety, and didn't stop until she reached the medical tent, where she smiled at him, said, "Lord be my witness, it wasn't long but I bloody sure lived" and collapsed, having bled out after her absurd feat of strength and endurance. He wrote back to her family as soon as he could, because they hadn't known she was in the army, and between him and her family, she was awarded multiple medals after her death and a museum was eventually built in her hometown for women involved in the war effort.

Ethel's Mortal Wound symbol is from a grenade blast that hit her as she ran across the battlefield, damaging the arteries in her neck and causing her to bleed out. Her weapon is a shovel, which is incredibly useful! WW1 shovels often had serrated edges on one side so they could be used as a saw to cut wood, but it means that she can cause some serious damage with a wound that's difficult or nearly impossible to heal. If Saving Graces are canon, her's is to summon forcefields (in the shape of pigeon wings!), that are typically used as shields but she can use to carry things or possibly even fly! Also it's not a power but she is insanely good with birds, and pretty good with horses and sometimes dogs, and it almost looks supernatural (it's not she's just really good at reading their body language). Despite being only 16/17 at the time of her death, and a little feral (she won pub brawls against grown men at the age of 16 what did you expect), she is incredibly mature when it's called for. In fact, you wouldn't think she's as young as she is unless someone told you! Older Knights probably like her just cause she's incredibly obedient compared to the other teenage Knights (army training) and waited until given the O.K. to go into battle, but she's probably more skilled at fighting than most Knights due to her experience in life. She's also probably better than most at controlling her Awakened form (if that's canon) because she has had to learn how to control her emotions.

The downside? She sometimes comes across as rude, arrogant, or strange (she doesn't tell anyone her backstory unless they ask or if she really needs to win an argument and mentions her multiple medals, so unless you ask or someone tells you, you wouldn't know that she acts like a hooligan because she spent her teenage years winning drinking competitions and pub brawls against grown men), jumps at loud noises (read: will attack anything within shovel range if a balloon pops behind her, and might actually take your head off on accident, because explosions and gunfire are literally what killed her), and talks to pigeons, horses, and dogs like they're people. She also has difficulty backing down from a challenge, and a concerningly large vocabulary that could make a sailor blush.

[irradiatedsnakes]

the Big TMA Furry List

this list with commentary/choice rationale below the cut :] i wrote a lot of thoughts down do please check it out.

jon: common raven

martin: tan jumping spider

sasha: southern flannel moth

not!sasha: red postman

tim: jackson's chameleon

melanie: eastern copperhead

georgie: triceratops horridus

basira: domestic cat (calico shorthair)

daisy: domestic dog (german shepherd)

elias: barn owl. jonah: eurasian eagle owl.

gerry: domestic dog (black doberman)

annabelle: white-booted racket-tail

jane: cabbage white

michael: spiny softshell turtle

helen: common hermit crab

oliver: black vulture

peter: risso's dolphin

mike: caelestiventus hanseni

jude: black kite

agnes: ???

nikola: stealing major's carousel horse

jared: american dog tick

breekon&hope: Hog and/or Bear. you get no more information

dekker: mouflon

gertrude: great tit

leitner: domestic cat (persian)

manuela: gray long-eared bat

rayner: olm

salesa: sea otter

simon: dodo

elaboration below !

jon: common raven

this was a choice i made before i even finished listening to the podcast back in 2020. jon's 1000% a bird to me, and the curious nature of corvids works well here. plus, i think a bird so universally ominous as a raven works perfectly as a horror protag :P i used to draw raven!jon with a couple troodon traits, mostly just cus it was fun, but i wanted to make my designs more grounded for this iteration. made them plantigrade, didn't get silly with body styles like i have with mp100 designs.

martin: tan jumping spider

if you've been here for a while you'll know that my furry martin has gone through about two million iterations. he started off as a european pine marten, to bold jumping spider, to chinese pangolin, to nine-banded armadillo, finally to nurse shark.

out of all of these the spider and the shark are my favorites. i wanted to go back to the jumping spider though- the design is really fun and i wasn't able to get the expressions right, but i'm more confident in my skills now and i'm having fun with the design. i may revisit nurse shark at some point. i switched from bold to tan jumper- i originally chose bold just cus they're my favorite jumper, but their stark black/white and iridescent aqua coloration just doens't work for martin. so, the tan jumper!

sasha: southern flannel moth

another old choice. species chosen because of a friend's fic, pharos by right (another i'm planning to reread now that i'm dipping my toes back into tma..)! southern flannel moths are poofy and orange, and their caterpillars are those super painful teddybear ones. i really like the design.

not!sasha: red postman

wanted to have her be another lepidopteran, and with all the many examples of mimicry among the group i thought red postman was a fun choice. doesn't look anything like a southern flannel moth, but that's sort of the point.

tim: jackson's chameleon

yet another choice from the oldtimes- most of the main characters are, i've mostly switched around the more secondary chars. first suggested, i believe, by @/ofdreamsanddoodles. i think there's something very fun about chameleons being basically a living mood ring & tim's Descent s1-3 showing physcially not just through the worm scars but through like, constant stress coloration during s3.

melanie: eastern copperhead

one of my favorite choices. i have a young copperhead specimen named after her. this one is quite vibes-based, but i do really like the copperhead as a viper that is not deadly. and i'm always a sucker for the "animal perceived as scary and violent that in actuality only strikes when under extreme stress" thing in furry assignments.

georgie: triceratops horridus

another favorite choice. visually, i really like how this works out, and trikes as a social and protective animal works well. she's literally got a shield on her face. horridus was chosen because i like the shape of the head and horns better than prorsus.

basira: domestic cat (calico shorthair)

got a little cat/dog thing going on for dasira. i like the inversion of the usual cat/dog dynamic with their unhealthy devotion instead, and visually it just works very well for them both.

daisy: domestic dog (german shepherd)

yeah i know this one's an exceedingly obvious choice.

elias: barn owl. jonah: eurasian eagle owl.

it's the institute logo! it's him! barn owl for elias specifically because of its very sleek look, designing him went fantastically. also, i can make the eagle owl's face disk work as a mimicry of ben meredith's muttonchops, which i think is a fun design bit to give to magnus.

gerry: domestic dog (black doberman)

certified gerryguy @/gerrydelano's choice. to quote a discord message from 3 years ago (sorry ron): "i feel like.........my INSTINCT is some kind of canine because like. the whole symbolism thing about being either an obedient or rabid dog. something something muzzled all your life. being a dangerous figure if people only see the silhouette but you just want scritches and nobody'll get close enough to you." black dog symbolism + breed which has ears cropped and tail docked, unecessarily molded for a Purpose which the dog has no say in

annabelle: white-booted racket-tail

sort of my original choice- she used to be part white-booted racket-tail, part anna's hummingbird. kept with the racket-tail cus it's fun and very cute. i've had a couple people express surprise that she wasn't a spider, but i think that's way too obvious. hummingbirds, though- they steal the webs of spiders to use as material to make their nests, but can sometimes become trapped in the webs and eaten by the spiders themselves. which is probably the metaphor-via-fursona-assignment i'm most proud of in this whole list

jane: cabbage white

the cabbage white is a butterfly whose caterpillars are routinely parasitized by the parasitoid wasp the white butterfly parasite. in case you're not familiar, parasitoid wasps lay their eggs on (usually) caterpillars, which hatch on the still-living caterpillar, devouring it from the inside before eventually emerging from the consumed husk of the host. also, i really liked the image of parasitoid wasp larvae emerging from an adult butterfly, rather than a caterpillar.

michael: spiny softshell turtle

for michael and helen, i wanted to choose animals which were, in some way, their own home. turtle is an obvious choice- and spiny softshells are a favorite of mine, and sufficiently strange-looking.

helen: common hermit crab

see previous entry. also please google "hermit crab without shell"

oliver: black vulture

bit of an obvious choice, but i adore vultures so i had to. black vulture chosen because i think the monochrome color scheme + straighter face work better than a turkey vulture for him

peter: risso's dolphin

i really like the idea of a cetacean for peter and the lukases as a whole, a famously social animal for the seemingly contradictory nature of this lonely-but-huge family, plus with so many cetaceans being endangered getting that lonely angle (risso's specifically are not, though, as peter is lonely through his own choice, not by circumstance).

mike: caelestiventus hanseni

it's a dimorphodont. he feels like a pterosaur to me, and i like the idea of a vast avatar as a usually short-flying arboreal species, for the unnaturality/contrast of it.

jude: black kite

black kites are one of the species of kites known to intentionally spread fires by picking up burning sticks to flush out prey.

agnes: ???

the only one i'm still undecided on. will update.

nikola: stealing major's carousel horse

i can't top that

jared: american dog tick

great choice from @/magnusarchivememes. Takes Your Blood And Gets So Big

breekon&hope: Hog and/or Bear. you get no more information

vaguely russian animals that are large and imposing but remain somewhat generic. which is the hog and which is the bear is not consistent.

dekker: mouflon

dekker has very much mammal vibes to me. the mouflon is a neat species of wild sheep. i think the noble, imposing but kind image of the ram works well for dekker as that sort of true-good hero figure, and mouflons in particular are very nice looking with good shapes. the statement giver in distant cousin describes dekker as "though he was slightly shorter than I was, it seemed like he towered over me." which i think this sheep works well with.

gertrude: great tit

i wanted all the main eye avatars as birds, just like how i give them all glasses. just a fun little treat for me. great tit was chosen for gertrude as a kind of classic british bird, and as tits in general are VERY fiesty despite their round and adorable appearance. i really like this image of a great tit posing with a dead mouse like it's a hunter with a trophy deer. the cheek markings also work really well to bring to mind the image of old person jowls.

leitner: domestic cat (persian)

vibes. also i like the idea of him as a spoiled domestic animal. if i remember correctly, this was also @/ofdreamsanddoodles' suggestion

manuela: gray long-eared bat

she's a bat. what's to say. WELL actually okay there's the perception of bats as blind but actually having quite good vision which i think meshes in a fun way with the dark, and the way manuela does her sciency stuff.

rayner: olm

i mean, yeah

salesa: sea otter

largely design-oriented, suitably scruffy. ocean animal with strong social bonds, it was a slam dunk soon as i thought of it.

simon: dodo

how couldn't i, come on.

[enquire]

Back to my pony shenanigans. Kiyoka's turn today!

Notes:

-Sunshine is an expert in using tools and weapons, especially ones made by and for earth ponies. She has a small axe and a pair of bolas here.

-She's very skilled with things that require precision throwing like axes, bolas, lassos, and boomerangs.

-she has vaguely clydesdale based markings

-wears a bandana, uses it to keep her hair up sometimes.

-her cutie mark references sharpshooting with a target/crosshair/star theme.

So Sunshine (nickname "Sunny") lives in the small town mentioned in Starlet's bio. It's a rural town (think something like Appleloosa or Ponyville) kinda out in the boonies and founded by earth pony farmers. It might be the same one Dove grew up in as well. Honestly, I might just merge more of the potential towns mentioned once I think about it more lol.

Because the town was founded by earth ponies, it has a lot of their traditions and things like that. Sort of like Ponyville. For example, there are a lot of tools and skills only applicable to earth ponies that the townsfolk specialize in.

This is probably what led to Sunny's talents being centered around accuracy and general proficiency with such tools. Though Sunny never really wanted to be known for weapons or fighting, at the end of the day, that side of her skillset always seemed to draw the most attention.

She also has a younger brother who is a lot less enthused with the small town life haha. Whenever she goes on trips to Canterlot or other towns he always wants to tag along, but tries not to admit how interested he is.

I didn't think about the colors too much on this one but I think it's a nice enough palette. I also considered giving her the cowboy hat she has because it does fit but I eventually decided not to haha. Maybe she still wears it from time to time. It is funny how nigh identical it is to Applejack's though.

Honestly, I still find drawing ponies to be a struggle even after so many of them for this project. The anatomy of the legs and proportions are very funky to stylize and I still haven't gotten to a point where it feels like I've hit the nail on the head haha. But I'm still enjoying it and trying to wrap my head around it using resources others have made. Honestly it's almost more cat than horse in a weird way?

I'm pretty happy to be drawing more frequently and sharing them so my focus probably should be on my rete id improvement haha. I'm trying to get better at being fine with imperfect or cringy art and just focusing on enjoying it when I can, y'know? Kinda one of the reasons I made this account in the first place haha. I do feel like to that end I've come a ways since posting the first one.

I'll stop my rambling here for now though. Only Mitch, Kakeru, and Ayame left to design!

[soullikethesea]

Overly positive... (and also a bit sad)

I really do feel like my life now is way better than I could have imagined it would be when I was a child. Not that it is amazing: there is still struggle and the world is pretty much in shambles. And yet, I can watch a little garden bloom. My body is healthy enough that I can enjoy exercise. There's a kitty cat that loves sleeping next to me. I don't have a big influential career or much money, but I do get to be a part of the process of people developing their skills and values. I think I can be okay with not being *super* good at it, the best, etc. Just a little keg in the machine, that's fine. The dating seems to be going OK (mostly because we have not tried to be intimate and because we're taking things really slowly). And there is enough money for me not to go hungry or very cold. I could go away for a few days. I get to go to yoga, sometimes go out for dinner. I can buy things on a whim sometimes, like a plushie. I have even decided that I will try to get my driver's license, even though it's terribly expensive and I can't imagine ever owning a car.

Some part of me finds it a little sad that I'm so happy. It basically means that some of the ingredients to be happy as a child would have been achievable back then. I can't go back and solve my parents' money issues, so that we wouldn't have had to go hungry or cold. I can't go back and take care of my sensory issues, "make them" have respect for me, or care for me. But it was so close... There *were* good moments and we did have wealth/privilege, even when my parents kept saying that we were dirt poor. I absolutely loved going to the cabin and wandering around there alone. I loved walks in the park with my mum, seeing wildlife on our boat, going to the library every week, and joining drawing classes in the zoo. I loved learning to swim at a very young age, doing gymnastics for a while, horse riding. I loved playing pretend with Playmobil for hours upon hours - that really was my sanctuary. Visiting art exhibitions almost constantly - it still feels like those are safe places for me. I was a lonely child, but I did have friends (who had parents who were just as crazy as mine). If I could go back I would give that child so much more emotional stability and safety. That was the key part that was missing. I didn't have "cool" clothes or things like that, but that really did not matter to me. I don't think that would have mattered. Emotional guidance and care would have mattered a lot more. And sensory care - if I could have lived in a smaller city, that would have helped. Or if I would have had an outlet: more sports, maybe less time spent in busy classrooms. I think that I use those good moments to inform what I prioritize now. I *still* love nature and animals. Exercise makes me feel at home in my body and helps me gain self-confidence. My home is like a sanctuary for me now - quiet and cosy. I can calm myself down and I don't have to push myself to do things that are far beyond my limits, sensory or otherwise. There is a quiet safety. My friends know how to respect boundaries. In meditation I've been trying to focus on giving to others - "always give just a little more than you think you can give". Maybe at some point I can truly let go of the scarcity mindset. I have enough love to give - it's not a limited resource, even though I grew up believing that it was.

[suzannahnatters]

TTT Re-read: Book 3, Chs 1-4: Trees Hijack the Plot, And We're Not Even Mad

Ch 1 - THE DEPARTURE OF BOROMIR

so much of TTT is about choices - from Aragorn pulled in three directions at the start to The Choices of Master Samwise at the end. and I think the point is what Gimli says - sometimes no choice is much better than the other and you just have to do what seems right to you. and I've been thinking a lot lately about how resonant that is with the whole task of exercising Christian liberty. it's so hard because how can you know what to choose!!! but then again the choice is very much yours to make, and you have the right to make it.

cannot think of many fantasy books that would spend this much time on a funeral. notably Gandalf doesn't get one.

the dirge for Boromir is beautiful, another top 10 LOTR poetry moment for me, and this time I'm struck that it's very much sung not from the POV of those who were at the battle with him, but the POV of those waiting at home who loved him best. something something Tolkien once again subordinating military exploits and comradeship to the greater end of peace and home.

"forth the three hunters" aaaahhhh I love this chase so much. used to go back and reread this section just because I loved it so much

love Aragorn's choice here - to honour Frodo's agency in taking the initiative himself in going off alone, and to prioritise rescuing the captives. exactly what he should decide.

Ch 2 - The Riders of Rohan

this depiction of the sun rising over Rohan is so beautiful; it also has subtle allusions to the creation account in Genesis 1. you have a world that is formless and void, and then light comes in and performs a sort of creative work on it. the imagery of green rushing across the plains is also reminiscent of the creation passages of THE MAGICIAN'S NEPHEW as well.

regarding Aragorn's ode to Gondor, it strikes me that in a lot of fantasy novels of this sort, there's some kind of prize awaiting the kingly hero, which gets raved up as incredibly desirable and beautiful. in most fantasy stories that prize would be a love interest- but in this book it's a city, a home; not a person; I like that.

this is the only time in the whole legendarium that we get a look at an Elf who is just. very young and very ordinary and constantly just doing Normal Elf Things, like seeing stars far beyond mortal sight. instead of, like...fighting Satan. it's so fun.

not sure I ever fully appreciated it before but the way the Rohirrim enter the narrative is such a flex. they're just showing off consummate skill not only at horsemanship but also at cavalry tactics.

Gimli and Éomer getting into a fight over Galadriel would Too Silly. except that it's also commenting on courtly love tropes in a really fun way so I actually love it.

"a mighty matter of legend" - I know the "good and ill have not changed since yesteryear" is an ageless banger but the "mighty matter of legend" line is also an all time fave.

ahahahaha I had forgotten that it is CANON that Theoden's beef with Gandalf started SPECIFICALLY because Gandalf ran away with the kingdom's shiniest horse

"folks speak with the Lady of the Golden Wood and yet live" - I would LOVE to see RINGS OF POWER Galadriel become terrifying sorceress Galadriel

having a lot of feelings about Éomer right now. have always loved this character dearly and it's because he's so utterly unreserved. he just puts his life in Aragorn's hands, as an act of faith, because he believes that providence has sent these people to Rohan to help them in their hour of need. what a darling.

Ch 3 - The Uruk-Hai

please someone draw Pippin sitting forlornly on a bag carousel at the airport because that's what I'm thinking about now (not you Kelsi you have OTHER THINGS TO DRAW)

TTT CH 3, Or, Everything I Hated About My Time in the Army, by JRR Tolkien

hmmmm this "white-skins" /"swart-skinned" language is worse than I remember, I think Tolkien should have known better than that

military tactics win, #1: instead of charging in with lances, the Riders begin their battle with ranged arrow attacks to soften up the enemy!

military tactics win, #2: the Orcs take up position on a knoll, specifically to take the edge off any cavalry charge from the Riders!

military tactics win, #3: the Riders sneaking up to kill some orcs in the middle of the night just to keep them from getting any sleep or recovering morale!

it is really a trip listening to Andy Serkis playing Pippin playing Gollum oh my goodness

"brush up my toes" your honour: I love these hobbits

Ch 4 - Treebeard

"almost felt you liked the Forest" clapping my little hands

of course Treebeard INSTANTLY roasts them "I almost feel that I dislike you both" because this is a Tolkien book and he loved roast hobbit

oooh so here's another super medieval thing: Treebeard's lore song. what's so medieval about this, you ask? well one of the reigning passions of the middle ages was taking the sum total of all human knowledge and trying to put it all into a list, or a book. see also: the Etymologies of MY GUY Isidore of Seville

Treebeard wintering in Dorthonion 😭😭😭 do you think he met Beren's family

not sure I ever noticed this before but!!! Treebeard's two bowls of mingling gold and silver light??? Are like an Ent version of the Two Trees???? EAT YOUR HEART OUT FEANOR

"I am not altogether on anybody's side, because nobody is altogether on my side" Treebeard just enunciating my entire political ideology right there

the story about the Entwives is so fascinating. this time I feel I'm reading between the lines a lot better - like, first of all, it's obvious that the reason for their disappearance, whether through death or displacement or likely a combination of both, stems very much from things Tolkien would have heard about, living through the two world wars. second, it strikes me that the Ents themselves bear some responsibility for not working with the Entwives to resist Sauron. if I recall correctly there's a place in the Letters where Tolkien says outright that Merry and Pippin's big contribution to the narrative in TTT is to shake the Ents out of their complacence and into action. one is tempted to add: the way they should have stirred themselves sooner, before they lost the Entwives.

also the Old English word for "woman", whether married or single, was wyf (as opposed to maegden which meant a younger woman). and the word Ent was also a very obscure Old English word which Tolkien was here creating a history for. so while Treebeard and Fimbrethil definitely had a thing, and the Entings definitely came from somewhere - the word "Entwife" could arguably be said to apply to any Ent woman regardless of marital status. tl;dr I'm going to headcanon that like a bunch of the Entwives were happy old maid gardeners who missed their bros but got on with their work.

Serkis' Ent trumptetings are delightful 10/10 no notes

sooooooooo...the Ents must have been fighting on the side of the Last Alliance, after the Entwives disappeared? that's what I'm getting from this chapter? o.0

the War Song of the Ents: another top 10 LOTR poetry moment, maybe THE top LOTR poetry moment of all? think I'm going to have to run a poll when this reread is over

anyway Tolkien once more the GOAT "ah yes I will now pull the book to a halt for a chapter twice the length of all the others, comprised entirely of Tree People loredumps and some BANGIN' poetry"

anyway this chapter has me thinking because I have always had trouble loving secondary fantasy worlds, and Treebeard is probably the character in this book most alien from the rest of the legendarium AND any real-world context. and the keyword here I think IS "context". Tolkien spends a lot of this chapter giving the Ents context, not so much in terms of real world history (again, he was trying to create an etymology to a very obscure Anglo-Saxon word here) - but in terms of both Middle-Earth history (here's what they've been doing throughout the ages of the world, here's how Sauron has injured them, here are the songs the Elves made about them), emotional connection (the story of their long estrangement from the Entwives and their sorrow at having been parted from them is something mythic and instantly relatable), and real-world environmentalist themes (they are the guardians of the trees, exploited and traumatised by evil lords and their wars). my big sticking-point with a lot of secondary-world fantasy is "why should I care about your made-up people in your made-up world", and I think Tolkien manages it the only way possible: by giving them emotional depth and relevance both within and outside his story world.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

No following; Planet of the apes fanfic Chap. 10

*Author's note*

Carver really proves himself to be an ass in this chapter so I apologize in advance if I've made him twice insufferable than he was in the movie. But it'll balance out because now Lin and Caesar will have themselves a private little moment together which I think is bittersweet.

Warnings: mentions of suicide, swearing, Carver being a dumbass, gun violence, wolf attacks.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@psychosupernatural

@queen-paladin

__________________________________________________

I led the apes back to where I had left Malcolm and the others and I could hear one of the engines trying to start up but then voices telling the driver to stop.  Of course Carver would try to bail out at the sight of all these apes.  But as I walked down the hill I had left them at, I came up to Carver’s window and saw to no surprise a pistol in his hand.

“Put the damn gun away Carver, you’re already not popular with them do you want them to have a reason to hate you even more?”

“Shut up you bitch!”

“Wow, what are we in kindergarten now?”

“What did he say Lin?” asked Malcolm from the back seat behind Carver.  I turned to him.

“You need to give them your guns. Every single one of them.”

“You can’t be serious.” Carver sneered as he aimed his pistol higher at the apes along the trees close by.

“It’s either that or no deal. You wanna lose the dam or do you want power back on in the city? Cause I would love to tell Dreyfus and the rest of the colony that we had a shot but you chose to fuck it up. Now that’s a bonfire I would love to see.” I quirked my brow at him at my last remark.

“So we give them our guns and he’ll let us work?” asked Malcolm to confirm.

“Yes. But if anyone leaves even one gun hidden, the deal’s off.” Malcolm nodded and got out of the truck, followed by Ellie, Alexander and eventually Carver.

After surrendering all the guns, Malcolm walked over to Caesar and said.

“Thank you. We’ll need a place to set up our camp. Then by morning we’ll get started on our work.” Caesar gave them a nod then said to Malcolm.

“Follow.” He urged his horse upward followed by a few apes trailing behind him while the rest of them headed back home.  We grabbed all our camping gear and supplies and followed behind Caesar.  After about 10 minutes of walking, we finally arrived at a stable clearing with enough room to set up all our tents.

“This is good, yeah this’ll do. Thank you.” Caesar nodded then as the rest of us began to set up camp, Malcolm introduced himself to Caesar.  After he said his name a couple of times, Caesar then gave Malcolm his name and then rode off with the rest of the apes joining him.

We got our tents and equipment all set up by the time darkness settled over the forests.  I had just finished my bowl of stew and was sitting right next to Alexander who was currently drawing in his sketchbook.  I lightly peered over his shoulder and said to him.

“Propaganda.” He was currently drawing the day Caesar told us to go, but the way he had Caesar drawn was like those old propaganda political war cartoon drawings during WW2.  He slightly jumped as he held his sketchbook closer.  “If you’re gonna draw a chimpanzee, you gotta get the features correct, their actually not that different than a human’s face. Just slight more muscle and different structures of the face. Otherwise your art is nothing but propaganda, and I know you can draw better than that.”

“Were you an artist before the virus outbreak or something?” he asked me.

“A type of artist. Now I was nowhere near as skilled of an artist as you, but I did draw every now and then. Got really into drawing wild animals as a kid.” We soon heard a wolf’s howl echoing through the woods. “And that’s Toboe.”

“How can you be sure?” asked Kemp.

“He may be young but that pup’s got the lungs of a cheetah. When he howls, it’s like a long siren blaring out. That’s why I named him Toboe. It means ‘Howling’ in Japanese.”

“You also know Japanese?” asked Alexander.

“Had me a bit of an anime phase as a teenager.” I merely shrugged.

“You know the scary thing about them?” Foster soon spoke up. “They don’t need power, lights. Heat, nothing. That’s their advantage, that’s what makes them stronger. Both for your wolves and those apes.”

“Well way to kill the mood there, Foster.” I stated exasperatedly.  “And they’re not my wolves, Jesus Christ how many times do I gotta say it?”

“Malcolm, I’m thinking one of us should stand guard tonight.” Suggested Kemp but Foster pointed out.

“With what? They took our guns.”

“Believe me if they wanted us dead, they would’ve done away with us a long time ago.” I told them.

“Maybe they’re just taking their time.” Carver said gravely.  I gave an exaggerated eyeroll as I shook my head.  “They already killed off half the planet already.”

“Come on.” Ellie spoke up.

“What?” asked Carver.

“You can’t honestly blame the apes.”

“Who the hell else am I going to blame? It was the Simian Flu.”

“It was a virus created by scientists in a lab. The chimps they were testing on didn’t really have a say in the matter.”

“Spare me the hippie-dippie bullshit. You’re telling me you don’t get sick to your stomach at the sight of them? Huh?” God Carver must’ve been a real blast pre-outbreak if this is his way of thinking.  Better hope he never had children cause if he did….god he’s no better than Hunsiker was.  But what Carver would say next would really cross the line, “Didn’t you have a little girl?”

“Carver that’s enough.” Malcolm warned him.

“How’d she die?”

“That’s enough!” Malcolm yelled.

“Or your wife for that matter?” challenged Carver as he now diverted his attention to Malcolm.

“Carver you better shut up before I kick your ass.” Foster threatened.

“Get in line there Foster.” I backed him up as I glared at Carver across the fire.

“Okay, I’m the asshole.” He said putting his baseball cap on top of his head.

“No, you’re a douchebag.” I said.

“And what of you? You’re just an outsider with no family. What makes you so special to be on your own?”

“You’re gonna have to come up with a better comeback Carver, cause I’ve been asking myself the same damn question for the past ten years.” I sneered before standing up and walked away from the camp.

“Lin!” Malcolm called out to me but I refused to listen.  I came to another clearing about 30 paces away from the camp but I could still see the glimmer of the campfire and I looked up at the stars.

Yeah, why was I the only one to survive? Why me? Why just me? Mom and dad, grandpa, Caroline, Will…..why did they all have to leave me? I heard the rustle of bushes once again and I let out a soft gasp.

“Who’s there?” the bushes rustled again and slowly coming out was the large orangutan.

‘Lin?’ he signed to me.

‘Yes. What’s your name?’

‘It has been a long time, nightingale.’ My eyes briefly widened.  Only two apes have ever referred to me as Nightingale.  Caesar and….

“Maurice?” Maurice gave me a soft nod as he cooed lovingly.  “Hehe…it sure has. I haven’t been called nightingale in years.”

‘You no longer play music?’

“Sadly no. I—lost the music in me a long, long, long time ago. Even before the world went to hell.” Maurice gave a solemn tilt of his head as he grumbled softly.  “But now’s not the time to reminisce, is there a problem?”

‘No problem. Caesar asked me to bring you to him. Just you.’ I turned back towards the camp and narrowed my eyes.  I could do with a break from those guys, especially Carver.  I turned back to Maurice and signed.

‘Lead on.’ He then walked ahead and I followed close behind him. I was taken back to the heart of the Ape’s family home and taken up the large structure where I walked up the spiral staircase made of wood until I reached the very top of the structure’s peak.  Maurice turned outward and sitting at the edge on top of a large boulder that looked over the entire Ape colony was Caesar.

‘Caesar.’ Maurice grunted out with a sign of his name.  Caesar turned and the moment he saw me, he signed his thanks to Maurice and he took his leave, leaving Caesar and I alone.

I stayed in my spot waiting for Caesar to give me permission to come to him.  He then gestured to me to come sit beside him and I walked over to him and sat down beside him.  Even though it looked like the old days of the two of sitting side by side, it didn’t feel quite the same.

We were both different people than who we were in our youth, he was a strong, confident, and wise leader and I—I’m just a woman with a lot of shit and blood on her hands.

“What did you need to see me for?”

“Talk.” Caesar spoke after a moment of silence.

“Talk?” I parroted.  He gave me a nod as he turned to face me. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?” I asked.  He reached out and brushed a strand of my hair out of my face.

“New….hair.” I quirked up a smile.  I brushed through my undercut bob hairstyle I’ve adapted.

“Yeah. Being in an apocalyptic world where humans are always trying to destroy each other, long hair just don’t cut it these days. No pun intended.” I softly scoffed.  “It isn’t too much, is it?”

‘No. It’s fine. Suits you.’ I smiled softly again.  ‘Do Will and the others still live?’ he signed.  At the mention of them, my heart sunk and my throat went dry.

“They’re…..dead Caesar. All of them.” Caesar’s eyes softly narrowed but I could see the shock that was written on his face as I told him.  “Grandpa died weeks after you were taken to the shelter. Alzheimer’s finally taking him away from us. Then after you all escaped deep into the Redwoods, that’s when the epidemic struck. San Fransisco became ground zero to an outbreak that even outrivaled the Black Plaque. Caroline died within a year. It was just Will and I. After her death, we were forced to be separated and monitored incase either one of us contracted the virus. Let’s just say I now understand what you and the other apes felt being caged up. Constantly being monitored, tested and observed 24/7. But you wanna know the worst part of it all, I wasn’t informed straight away of my uncle’s death. My only living relative left and they tell me he died two months after he had passed away from the virus.”

Rage boiled in my body as I clenched my hands into the earth, my arm trembling with anger.

“After a full year of being monitored and being declared ‘genetically immune’, I was tossed out into the streets. Alone. They just….sent me on my way and didn’t care what happened to me afterwards.” I let out a deep and heavy sigh.  “I watched—my entire world burn to the ground. I saw—ugly, terrible things Caesar. Things you’d only see in movies or read about in books. I was just—drifting. And there were times when I…..” I sniffled and wiped across my nose and tried to hold back the tears, “I felt like ending it all.”

‘Why?’ Caesar signed urgently with a small grunt.

“I lost everything Caesar. I had no one left, and seeing how humanity was tearing itself apart I just felt like it was only a matter of time. Whether further down the line I would be taken by the virus, or taken out by human hands. It changed me and not for the better. I’m not the same girl I once was before and I hated myself so much for what this world turned me into.”

‘Do you still wish to die?’ he asked me.  I looked up at the night sky to see all the stars and the half moon lighting up the sky.

“Sometimes. There are some days where I do still think about taking my own life. But there’s always something that stops me from doing that.” I turned towards him, “The hope that you were somehow alive. There would be some nights when I’d tell myself, ‘Lin. If you go through with this, you better realize that this is a permanent outcome. There’s no going back from suicide. And if you go through with this, you may never get to see Caesar’s face one last time.’”

I went to reach out and touch his face but I relented and set my hand back down into my lap.

“But look at you. I mean seriously look at you and your people Caesar, you’re thriving. In numbers that I had only dreamed of. Did you ever settle down? Start a family of your own?”

‘I have a beautiful wife, and two sons.’ He signed to me, a small but proud smile on his face and a loving look in his eyes.

“I’m happy for you Caesar. Truly I am. That’s all we ever wanted of you. Even uncle Will hoped that you were happy, that you’d might settle down, have a few kids. He’d be proud of you, just like I am.” We looked into each other’s eyes and smiled at each other.

A rumble of thunder soon boomed in the distance.  I stood up and said to him.

“I should go before the storm arrives. It was great talking to you again Caesar.” As I went to leave, Caesar then spoke out my name.

“Lin,” I turned back to him.  “Never….forgot. About you. Thought of you, some nights. And remembered….your music.” I wiped my nose again and let out a soft sniffle once again.

“Nice to know the feeling was mutual. Goodnight Caesar.” I then left the ape’s nest and Maurice guided me back to camp.

After I bid him a goodnight (and he the same), I walked back to camp to see that most of everyone had gone to bed all except for Malcolm.  He was still sitting in the same spot by the fire when I had left, he looked up at me and said.

“Where’d you go?”

“Just for a walk. You know how much Carver pisses me off. You didn’t have to wait up on me.”

“I told you earlier Lin, you’re part of the colony. We look out for one another, and I won’t sleep or start anything until I know everyone on my team is present and accounted for.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’d make a damn good Colonel.” I headed back into my tent and got into my sleeping bag before popping in a few more of the sleeping pills I had managed to pack away in my pocket and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up to the sight of 30 or so apes all waiting outside our campsite.  Some standing in front of our tents, other sitting near our dowsed campfire and the rest surrounding the hillside.

Well time to go to work.  I got dressed and walked out of my tent and saw Maurice standing outside of Alexander’s tent.  I stretched myself out and signed to Maurice.

‘Good morning.’ Maurice gave me a nod before saying.

‘We found the wolves that were with you by our home. Caesar does not want them near the ape home.’ He signed to me.  So they were close by, so that’s one good thing to know they’re not causing too much trouble.

‘I understand. They’re still wild animals but I’ll try to make it clear for them to understand to not wonder too close to the ape home.’ Maurice gave me a nod as I walked up towards Alexander’s tent.  I entered inside and gently shook the young teen’s shoulder.  “Alex? Alex, get up.” he groaned and opened his eyes.  “We’ve got a lot to get done today.”

When he took notice of Maurice staring at him from behind me, I saw him slightly tense but I told him.

“Relax, he won’t hurt you. But I think he’s taken an interest in your book.” He looked down at his graphic novel before looking at Maurice who let out a low grunt as his eyes were fixated on the book.  “Now come on, get up and ready. I’ll wake the others.” I left his tent and went to wake up the rest of the team.

I saved Carver for last as I took my canteen filled with water and dumped it all over his face.  He jumped up from the cold shock of my water and I just left without another word before he could register just who it was that did it.

“Rise and shine ladies! Time to get to work!” I proclaimed as they each crawled out of their tents tiredly.

“How do you have this much energy for so early in the morning?” asked Kemp.

“I don’t. I was trained to wake up this early, and in this world the early bird catches the worm. Or in our case, the early workers get the dam up and running. Now let’s get going they’re not going to wait up on us.” That’s when everyone finally took notice of all the apes surrounding our camp.

Of course Carver jumped out of his skin but a smack from Foster calmed him down.

“Don’t we get to have breakfast first?” asked Kemp.

“We can eat after we’ve worked. Now let’s gather what we need and get to work.” I said as I gathered up all my supplies.

“Who died and made you the leader of this mission?” Carver accused.

“She’s right Carver. We’ve only got three days to get this dam up and running. It’s best we get to work now. We can manage without breakfast for today.” Malcolm backed me up as he and Ellie left to grab their own supplies.  Once everyone had something to carry, the apes lead us back towards the dam.

I went with the guys into the dam to set up the explosives to clear off any blockage that would prevent more water from traveling through the dam’s system in order to get us the power we needed.

Carver now took over as leader since he knew all the ins and outs of how the dam worked from within.  He led us down a stairway that led to the tunnels of the dam.  Foster and I held our flashlights towards a circular door and Carver told Malcolm to turn the handle to the left three times to get it opened.

It took some grunt work since the door hadn’t been handled in over a decade but Malcolm finally got it opened.  It was a tight fit but we could all manage to get through one at a time.  Carver went first followed by Malcolm, me, Kemp and then Foster.  We could all hear the water rushing from above and as we looked up, we saw a bunch of roots blocking the water from truly flowing.

“We gotta clear this blockage, Foster start setting up the explosives, Kemp get the wire train ready to go.” Malcolm said.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, you’re not actually thinking of setting off the explosives with us inside, are you?” I asked.

“We don’t have much choice Lin. Help Foster set up the explosives along the wall. Carver and I will try to clear a way to get through the rest of the tunnel.”

“C’mon Lin, you’re a better climber than me.” Foster said placing his hand on my shoulder.  I walked with him back through the hole and helped him set up the explosives.  We both had them up along the walls and roots above us.

Then we turned and helped Kemp connect all the wires to the main trigger while he got the fishing lure and handed it to Malcolm.

“Alright, we got as far down as we can, keep the line as straight as possible.” Malcolm told us we nodded and we then began to move further down the closing tunnel giving the line as much slack while making sure to not let anything happen to the wire. 

One wrong move and we either cut the wire from the source, or risk setting the bombs too early and we all go BOOM!  Carver army crawled both him and Malcolm (the both of them laying on what looked like an old wheeled square cart), they dragged the line as far as they could go.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s all the wire we got.” Malcolm told Carver as he immediately stopped.  “Brace yourselves.” He gave us one final warning, “Three, two, one.” Malcolm then pressed the trigger button and a muffled explosion was heard from behind the door.

But as the tunnel shook and dust sprinkled from above, I looked up and exclaimed.

“INCOMING!!” large pieces of rubble and debris from the dam soon fell on top of us, cutting us off from one another. 

I felt myself being pinned by some rubble that was on my back.  My face was barely above the water as I spat some of it out.  My chest tightened as the panic was starting to set in.  No matter what I tried to do, I was forced back into the water by the shifting weight of the debris that was on my back.

Oh god no not this again! This was just like back in the quarantine cell.  The walls felt like they were closing in around me, tighter and tighter and it didn’t help that I couldn’t move and all I could see was darkness.

“Hey….HEY! HELP! MALCOLM! ELLIE!”

“LIN!? LIN WHERE ARE YOU!?” I heard Malcolm’s voice cry out.

“I’m pinned! I….I CAN’T MOVE! I’M TRAPPED!!” I cried out in a panic as I continued to spit out the water.

“HANG ON LIN! WE’LL GET YOU OUT! JUST STAY CALM!” Malcolm cried out again.

“Okay, JUST HURRY!! Please…..” I whimpered the last part.  I tried to lift my head above the water but it kept flowing higher and higher. 

Oh god, oh my god oh my god oh my god! This—this isn’t how I want to die. Weak and afraid, I can’t die like this, not down here! Oh God and Jesus Christ above if you have any ounce of mercy please don’t let me die down here!

I heard rubble being moved around and I saw a small beam of light coming through the cracks of the rubble.  As more of the rubble and debris blocking my view was cleared away, I saw through the large hole that was now my sanctuary a few of the apes including Maurice and Caesar.

I wanted to speak but my throat was clenched in pure panic as I looked at the apes wide-eyed pleading for help.  I saw through my blurred, panicked vision as Caesar gave the command and I saw as Maurice, Luca and another chimp proceeded to dig me out.  I felt Caesar take my hand and with the other, he kept my head above the water and had me focus on him.

Bit by bit I felt the weight of the rubble being lifted off my back.  Then once my feet were free, Caesar took my other arm and gently pulled me out of the tunnel.  I was then brought onto his back as he carried me out of the dam and the second I felt the fresh air on my face, I let out a loud gasp and rolled off Caesar’s back and onto mine.

Even though I was free, my panic attack was still happening as now all I could hear was the loud ringing and the sounds of the water nearby were nothing but a muffled sound.  Caesar’s face hovered over me as he looked at me concerningly, his hand holding the back of my head.  Maurice soon came beside me, and I saw him lift my hand.

‘Heart beating too fast Caesar.’ I managed to see him sign out.  I continued to breathe faster and faster, the air from my lungs rapidly leaving my body with each breath I took.  My heartbeat pounding in my ears along with the high pitched ringing.

That’s when I felt my head being placed over Caesar’s chest.  I could feel his chest slowly breathing in then out.  I felt him repeat the process a few more times, breathing in nice and slow before exhaling out in the same manner.  I felt my right ear being covered up and the ringing soon faded as I heard the sound of another heartbeat, a strong, steady heartbeat.

It was Caesar’s heart.  Slowly I began to follow his pace, breathing in deep before exhaling out again.  A few of my breaths were a bit sharp and shaky but in the end I was able to get my heart rate down and the world slowly became abrupt with clear sounds.

“Thank you…Caesar.” I breathed out after one last exhale.  Slowly I stood up and felt a tense pain in my lower back.  Maurice then signed to me.

‘How bad are you hurt?’

“Just some tension and throbbing pain. But I can stand up so that’s a good sign that I didn’t severe my spine down there.” I then steadily walked ahead, the two apes trailing behind me as we rejoined with the others.

Thankfully the guys managed to get out alright (well except for Carver who had a cut leg, oh well).

“Lin!” Malcolm came up as did Ellie.

“I’m fine, I can walk. Ellie, can you just check my back real quick?” I asked her.

“Yeah, yeah come on sit down.” She led me towards one of the logs as Foster handed me some water to not only drink but to clean my face off from the dust.  “Where does it hurt?”

“My lower back, right in the middle. I was pinned by a huge mass of debris when the explosion happened. I still have feeling in my legs and didn’t have any problems walking except for some tension pain.”

“That’s good news at least.” Stated Ellie.  “Do you mind if I—”

“Do what you need to do.” She then lifted my shirt up so that she could have a better look at my back.  But I also knew that she’d be the only person to truly see all the old scars I had gotten from my days in the military.  The whip marks and beatings I took when I served there.

“You uhh…definitely have some bruising on your lower back right in your lumbar area, you did get chewed up by the debris. But thankfully nothing too serious, just think of it like a road rash.”

“No wonder why I’m feeling that familiar stinging sensation. I once fell off my bike when I was nine and got road rash on my knee caps. Not a good day.” I then felt the familiar sensation of rubbing alcohol being pressed to my wound as I let out a sharp hiss but soon relaxed.

Ellie then applied some peroxide and then placed a band-aid over it when I soon felt something climbing onto my shoulder.  I turned and saw a baby chimpanzee soon staring me straight in the eye.

“Well hello.” I greeted softly.  The baby chimp soon climbed over my shoulder and soon fell into my lap.  I smiled softly as I reached out my hand and held it out for him.  He gave me hand a quick sniff before placing his tiny hand against my palm.  It barely reached the ends of the center of my palm and he hooted curiously.

I turned to Caesar who was once again on his horse and signed to him.

‘This your son?’ Caesar gave me a soft look and a small nod.  I also took notice of the younger male chimp who was eyeing me wearily.  Now without the war paint on his face, I could clearly see the family resemblance between the baby chimp and this one.  They both had Caesar’s facial structure.  And while they had a more softer appearance than Caesar did at both their ages, I could still see the similarities.

After getting to know Caesar’s youngest son, he soon left my lap and soon took an interest in both Ellie and Alexander.  Both of them were enamored of Caesar’s youngest son, and who could blame them? When chimps are little babies, they are about the cutest things on earth.  Reminds me so much of Caesar when he was this small.

I also took notice how Foster’s usual stern expression softened as he watched Caesar’s youngest son interact with Ellie and Alexander.  Even Kemp was smiling as he tried to take a better look at the baby from afar.  As the baby, went from Ellie’s lap to Alexander’s now Ellie let out a laugh and held out her finger for the baby to grab, which he did as he curiously observed it.

The baby then went down and started to play with Alexander’s sneakers.  Lifting the tongue up and releasing it to see it flick down.  Alexander even began to talk with the baby in a calm, soft voice.  But of course Carver had to ruin the moment as he demanded to Ellie.

“What are you doing? Are you finished?” he then turned his attention to Alexander and sneered, “What are you looking at?” God Carver really needs to take a fucking heel and relax.  So long as he doesn’t do anything stupid, there’s no need to be paranoid over a baby chimpanzee.  But as always with Carver, I spoke to soon.

I watched as the baby went into Carver’s suitcase and curiously begin to look through it.  That’s when my eye caught the silver gleam of a shotgun underneath the cloth the baby just pulled back.

My heart raced as rage boiled within me but before I could speak, Carver the dumbass immediately got up and screamed at the baby.

“HEY! HEY! HEY GET OUT OF THERE!” that soon led to Caesar’s eldest son to go in and defend his younger brother.  As Carver went for the baby, the young blue eyed chimp knocked Carver down to the ground with one shove.  The young male chimp screeched defensively as he began to go after anyone that came near his brother or Carver.  Knocking Kemp over then challenging getting into Foster’s face forcing him to back off

Carver then went for his case and cocked his shotgun as he aimed it at the male chimp getting his attention.

“HEY! I’ll kill you!” I immediately raced in as the male chimp gave a threatening hiss, baring his teeth.

“If you want to shoot someone then you shoot me! Look me in the eyes Carver and pull the trigger!” I held my arms out to ensure that not a single shot would harm Caesar’s first born son.

Carver growled then a blast from the gun sounded off.  But I didn’t feel any pain nor did I hear anyone, neither ape nor man, scream.  All except Carver’s. 

I opened my eyes to see that Kiba had Carver’s arm in his teeth, Tsume had him on his back pinned by the shoulders, while Hige and Toboe stood in front of me protectively snarling at Carver, their tails high up and their fur riled up aggressively.

Slowly I walked around Hige and Toboe and stood over Tsume and stared blankly down at Carver.  Kiba biting deeper into his arm as Carver continued to scream.

“Call off your damn wolves!” he hissed through his agony.

“I keep telling you they’re not my wolves.” I stated in a calm, cold tone.  “They can do whatever they please, why I could just let Tsume finally have his revenge from you shooting out his ear. Or allow Kiba to tear your arm right out of its socket, much less of a hassle then ripping apart an elk’s leg. You broke our agreement Carver, for once in your life why couldn’t you just put your damned ego and paranoia aside and follow orders like a good little soldier!?” I snapped my last command.

I continued to glare down at him with my ice, cold and soulless stare.

“But your life, is not mine to take.” I let out a whistle and Kiba released Carver’s arm while Tsume begrudgingly got off of Carver and followed Kiba to stand with Hige and Toboe.  Carver cradled his arm as I walked away allowing Caesar to come forward and just like he did a decade ago with Steven Jacobs, he stood over Carver’s pitiful body, his own weapon now turned against him as it was raised and ready to beat him.

“Don’t! Don’t Caesar no! No!” Malcolm pleaded.  Caesar was enraged.  And I felt partial blame for this since he trusted me, who knows if what I did to save his son would be enough to spare him from his wrath.

A father’s love is a strong and powerful thing after all.

He looked at the shotgun, observing it with distain and rage as he lowly growled.

“Said…..No. Guns.” He pointed the gun straight at Malcolm.  Before quickly directing it at Ellie and Alexander.

“No.” Ellie quietly pleaded as she held her hands out in surrender as Malcolm pleaded with a quiet ‘please’.  Caesar then directed his attention to Kemp who went up against one of the logs and held his hands up in surrender, before then pointing the gun at Foster who jumped back.

Caesar was at a standstill.  He was smart enough to know how to pull the trigger, hell I even saw him clench it ever so tighter each time he directed it at a new person.  But he lowered the gun and once again held it like a club before finally throwing it into the river.

Brief relief came across everyone’s face as the gun was now taken out of the picture, but that still didn’t save them from Caesar’s wrath.  He turned back to Malcolm said he to him.

“I didn’t know.” Caesar trudged forward as he youngest son came running up to him.  He picked his baby up, holding him protectively as he roared in Malcolm’s face.

“Human. Leave. NOW!!” Caesar then hooted for the apes to move out leaving us at the river’s edge.  As they left, I saw Caesar’s eldest son glare at everyone else but when his eyes turned to me he seemed conflicted.

But his confliction soon reverted back to anger as he urged his horse onward and followed behind his father.

“Carver what the fuck is wrong with you man!? Why the hell did you keep a gun with you!?” demanded Foster.

“I’m glad I did! You saw how many there were. They would’ve killed us! You just saw how he almost killed me”

“Because you attacked one of them!” snapped Ellie.

“I can’t believe you all are turning against me for them. They’re responsible for killing half of humanity already! You know it would’ve been a matter of time before they attacked us!”

“If they ever did, hope they get to you first.” I spoke up.

“Of course you’d think that. The way you are with them, the way you defend them. Hell you’ve probably known they were up here and was fucking with their leader!” I turned my head sharply towards him, walked up to him and gave him a falcon punch so hard to the face, I heard his nose break.

“So far these apes have given me more reason to trust them than to trust you. Trust any of you!” I turned my attention to Malcolm and his crew. “I believe I made myself quite clear, No. GUNS! Malcolm, you’re the self-appointed leader here. Why didn’t you check Carver’s case since you knew he’d be the one least trustworthy to surrender his guns willingly!?”

“Lin I—”

“ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION!” he remained silent.  “That’s what I thought.” I sneered.  My breathing sharpened as I rubbed my face harshly and scratched the saved part of my undercut.  “I don’t even know why I took pity on all of you in the first place. From now on, I’m done with all of you. Leave these woods and give Dreyfus this message. Tell him if he dares send any soldiers here, The Hawk’s Eye will be waiting for him.”

I stormed into the woods with the pack trailing behind me.

[simmerstories96]

The Dark Side of Content Creating No One Tells About

My journey as a content creator has been a bit of a rough patch. By no means necessary am I looking for pity or anything like that but there are things about making content, no one tells anyone about. 😣

I opened my content creation shop, Skylar Designs, in July 2024. I got the name after my youngest daughter who’s the sole reason I’m doing this because I want her to know if you put your mind to it, you can basically achieve anything.

As much as I enjoy doing this and watching everyone use my recolors or poses or sims, as an added bonus.. there were the dark sides to this hobby I didn’t expect. No one tells you how much it can affect your mental health.

I have extensive editing skills from a few hobbies I’ve done in the past with video games so I came over to The Sims Community since I’ve been playing this game since the very first Sims game.

It’s disheartening when you’ve been at this for quite awhile and only see very little progress while someone who just joins Patreon or Boosty, grows rapidly with barely any content posted for download.

Me as a human being, I seem invisible to a lot because I’m a small content creator. I’m in no way huge like a lot of these awesome people are. But I’ve tried so hard and got so far, which was very little.

Not only that but this hobby also is a monetization hobby, so creators get paid for their creations. Well it’s alittle hard when some creators don’t allow early access when doing recolors (which is understandable) and I respect all creator TOUs. Me personally, I just don’t know how to create meshes and really have no interest because why should I try to learn something no one is going to even bother looking at.

I gave up on horse stencils because my first one was a botched project. I didn’t like it. I also know I cannot draw and I’m better at painting things.

This whole journey has just put me down deeper in the endless spiral of mental health. Even though I enjoy it, I don’t see why I should continue when the progress I’ve made or done goes unnoticed.

[letmeinimafairy]

Do you really find carving easier than drawing with shaky hands? I've always struggled with drawing/painting because my hands shake a lot but I've been considering getting one of those little carving drills and trying it out. Is it something you think might be worth it without a pre-existing artistic talent or would you say it's better to already have some art skills?

I do, probably because it requires more exertion, and tension helps locking your hands in a position. And you can move the object you work on towards the tool. Painting and drawing requires more fluidity, and well, it's hard to keep your movements relaxed, light and fluid when your hands are shaking. At least for me.

About starting - honestly, every new technique will teach you something. Some basic skills and knowledge will certainly be useful, but transferring it to a new form will be something entirely new. I mean, I know how to draw horses, but carving a familiar form for the first time was a challenge. But definitely a good one, so if you want to try it for some time - do it, it can lead you to a new dimension. And the materials could be found literally everywhere - shells, pebbles, wood, blocks of tesin, fruit pits.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Dragon Age Veilguard 7th review in series

Obligatory I'm not an asshole disclaimer. You can skip to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

52 hours in, 50 hours playtime

Part 6.1 is here.

Massive spoilers for Veilguard

Another long one. And it's largely negative.

So. What to say. Well, the first should be I called it on Illario being the crow traitor. At least, at this point in the game. (He just broke Zara's neck to keep her from telling Lucanis his name. Presumably.) They could throw a plot twist in there and have Illario be innocent but acting squirrely to bring out the actual traitor. That would be interesting. But to be completely honest, I don't think the writers are that skilled. The plot of 'jealous younger cousin/family member seizing power and betraying everything to do it' is a classic trope.

It's also as stale as the package of crackers I keep meaning to throw away. They really went with that? I think my eyes are in danger of rolling out of my head. And digging them out from under the dresser is just so awkward and uncomfortable. Have you ever washed eyeballs? They’re squishy.

Can we mention plot holes? I took Emmerich with me for the crow mission. Why exactly didn't he do his 'corpse whispering' to get confirmation that Illario was/was not the traitor? Even if you didn't take Emmerich, they could've easily taken the corpse to him, but nooooo. That would've made sense! Especially because there's then a scene of Emmerich whispering a corpse about the hand of glory. They sooooo needed to take all that back to the drawing board and tighten it up a lot.

But I've said before that they need better editors. Honestly, even though I don't particularly want to work for Bioware given their history of firing useful, skilled people... maybe they do need me. Or someone else as exacting as me and good at editing. Cause much as I hate to critique another editor? Whoever edited this isn't very good. Whoever edited DAI wasn’t very good either. I'm a far better editor. It's a niche, nit picky sort of field. You have to care about the details and you have to dedicate yourself to it. It's a field where you need to constantly be learning. Things like, say, how locks work. You can have advanced English degrees, you can be a phenomenal writer, and still suck at editing. Because it's so very specialized if you want it done right. Whoever their editor is shouldn't be editing games professionally. There's obviously too much to keep in mind to tie everything together. (Honestly, autistic and auDHD people like me make phenomenal editors if we enjoy words/stories and get into it.)

I have no personal grudge against their editor/s. It's just my professional opinion that they need an editor with more skill.

Also, whoever drew that hand of glory probably should've looked up what one looks like. They went for an Addam's family vibe and that's just... not a hand of glory. I'm a witch and a student of witchcraft history. I should know.

So, a hand of glory is an actual thing.

This is how one was made.

"It must be cut from the hanged body of a criminal (usually a murderer) on the gibbet (usually a roadside gibbet); dried in nitre, pickled in the urine of man, woman, dog, horse and mare; smoked with herbs and hay for a month or dried under the sun during the dog-days; hung on an oak tree for three nights running, then laid at a crossroads, then hung on a church door for one night while the maker keeps watch in the porch.

The candle part had to be rendered from the fat of the same criminal you got the hand from. It’s usually the left hand, but could also be the hand that murdered. Images from the period when people believed in them vary on how the candle part worked but one of the more common is the whole hand dipped in the tallow rendered from the criminal until it was stiff like a candle. Then the tips of the fingers would be lit."

They did get what they were supposed to do correct, though.

Good idea? Yes. Bad follow through.

The name is bastardized from the French word for mandrake.

As usual, better editors needed.

Did the Weisshaupt quest. I'm not sure if that's the end of act 1 or half way. I'm leaning on end of act 1 given the way the plot is shaping up. It was a fun enough sequence. If a bit loud. I also like it when the heroes fail in stories. Because that's realistic. We fail. We pick ourselves up, and we keep trying.

I've said it before, and I can't claim authorship, I'm not even sure who used it first, but 'hope gets kicked to the floor, beaten the shit out of and still spits out blood, maybe a tooth, picks themselves up and says, 'bring it, bitch".' Hope isn't gentle. Hope is ready to throw down.

Can I just say that Zimmer was a fucking mistake on the music front? He's been phoning it in for ten years and he absolutely did for DAV. It's a shame when the soundtrack for DAI was so stirring and just... fucking epic. DAO's too, for that matter. (The OST for DAI also helped tie the world together.)

It's like someone decided to toss the collections aspect (which was a large part of the fun for me and many others, including collecting enough stuff to make fun armour) without even remotely understanding what those collections did for the story. Big mistake in my professional opinion. In any story, you need little things that tie all the big things together. DAV doesn't have the small threads tying the big bundles of yarn together. It's just... not good.

There are parts of the game I do legitimately like, but they're far outweighed by the sheer dumbassery.

I am still so utterly flabbergasted that they nerfed rogues so much. Why in the world would you take a good half of what makes playing a rogue fun and just toss it? Why even bother to have a rogue class at all? They’re just a light skirmisher in DAV.

They Legolased my elven rogue and I'm not happy about it.

Don't get me wrong, I love Legolas, and he's an elven warrior, good with his bow and dual weild, and that's basically it? (He’s a lot more in the books, but I'm thinking movie Legolas. He’s not even a rogue in the books.)

As a rogue in DAV, there's no traps to set/disarm, you can't pick locks, you can't sneak or hide in shadows, it's just ridiculous to even call them rogues. Oh, but you can hit the locks! Someone has been watching too much hollyweird. Hitting it hard works, right? Of Course the lock just breaks.

Y'Know? I'm not a locksmith, but I know a decent amount about picking locks and how they work because I'm an author and like to know how stuff works. Hitting a lock? Makes it less likely to actually open. I really really wish whoever made that decision many hours of disappointing game play in a class they love. Because that's what they gave me and other rogue lovers in DAV. It just fucking sucks. Are the rest of the classes this bad? I don't think I have the stomach to play this again as my second favourite class to find out (mage).

I think I figured out what DAV is missing/what's bothering me the most.

A lot of things are more streamlined, better designed, I do have to give them that. But they took it waaaay too far. They've streamlined it to the point of boring mediocrity.

There's very little to collect other than codex entries. Which are fine, barring the massive number of editorial issues in them. Even if they really aren't answering any of the burning Lore questions I've wanted answered since I started playing these games.

But there's nothing else to subtly tie the world and story together. I've mentioned it before, but the mounts you could collect in DAI were gifts from different peoples and cultures. That tied the world together and to Skyhold.

Same goes for the Warden memories, and all the other little collection bits. It made an intricate, beautiful tapestry of DAI. DAV is a poorly woven bedsheet. With plot holes you can stick an arm through.

DAI had issues, every game does. Some of those issues I'm glad to see fixed in DAV. And overall, they took a lot of the fun out of a Dragon Age video game with the over zealous streamlining of DAV.

And I'm not sure if I'll ever get over the 'rogue who isn't a rogue at all' issue.

I played around with the decor part, and honestly, why did they even bother? You could completely customize Skyhold to how you wanted it. That was great fun for me. In DAV? You can put mementos on shelves and change the central statue, that I've found so far.

The Lighthouse is pretty cool, but it floats unconnected from the world, and it really shows. There's just... nothing tying everything together. Not to mention the complete retcon of, 'oh, living beings can't go into the fade unless they're mages, and even then it's dangerous to the point of suicide.'

Yes, the Inquisitor went into the fade in DAI. It was either that or splatter on the ground, and they barely survived it. And you had to leave a companion behind as the price of getting out. In DAV they live in the fade (without consequences that are clearly spelled out in the Lore). People are strolling into and out of the fade like it's a shopping mall. Y'know, the fade that's supposedly chock full of blight? According to the actual game I'm playing?

It's like the different departments and different writers never once talked to each other. And man, does it show.

I think the only section where they must've communicated well is, again, backgrounds, scenery, and environments. That is literally the only thing holding this game together and making it feel even remotely like Dragon Age.

And that's just sad. They had so much material to work with from the Lore and the previous games... so much, and as far as I can see? They've ignored most of it.

And I know a video game can't do everything, but my elf has Dirthaman's vallaslin. Dirthamen is the twin soul of Falon'Din. There's a puzzle in Arlathan that is a bunch of owls, and my Rook dopily says, 'guess someone liked owls'. Oh, you mean the brother Evanuris whose mark you wear on your damned face? Really? Really really? JFC. So, yeah, they're probably not going to do shit about figuring out anything to do with the Vallaslin. Which in both my personal and professional opinion would've been a very interesting thing to write about. What happens in a culture when they find out they've been wearing slave markings. Do they all get rid of them? Do they have interesting discussions and quests about figuring out the meaning of old and new? Of old things that might’ve been bad at one time, but have a completely different meaning now?

I dunno. This game just isn't great so far.

Goddess. I hate writing negative reviews of Dragon Age stuff. I utterly love the previous games, the world, the Lore.

Y'know, the Lore they've decided isn't important and brushed under the rug? Talk about disappointing. I was so hoping for some answers to all the burning questions I've had for years about the Lore.

And I'm dreading the end of Solas and Inky. I don't think it's going to be remotely what my Romance loving heart will think is even close to a happy ending.

Weekes tweeted at me that 'there's a suggestion of a happy ending' for Solas and Inky. And that gave me some hope, because Tresspasser left a few things dangling in good star-crossed lovers fashion. But unless Inky and Solas end up, 1. Alive. 2. Together. 3. At peace or close enough to it... it's not a happy ending. I'm afraid Weekes, who isn't a Romance writer (I am) has a very different definition for 'happy ending' than me, most Sollavellans, and Romance readers in general.

A HEA (Happy Ever After) or a HEfN (Happy Enough for Now) is a staple of Romance.

Something can't be considered Romance as a genre unless it has two things. 1. Focus on the romance/relationship of the characters. 2. An HEA/HEfN. In each book/story/piece of media, not even the end of the series, in every installment, Otherwise, you can't even market it as Romance without violating stores terms of service and risking having your account taken down for misrepresentation of what you're selling.

I swear to Gods if we get some Romeo and Juliet sort of ending for Solas and Inky, I'm boycotting Bioware for life.

Romeo and Juliet is not a fucking Romance. It's a fucking tragedy. If we get a tragic ending in any fashion, for Solas and Inky? I'm just absolutely done with Dragon Age. Them being together with a chance at happiness is all I want. (Honestly, I desperately want the intimate scene we were denied in DAI too, and I don't think that's too much to ask for either.) One intimate scene and a HEA. Let them retire someplace out of the way so Solas can grow flowers and play music and paint. Inky can do stuff she loves, and they love each other. The parameters of how exactly they do that don’t matter. They could do literally anything as long as they're alive, together, and with the same chance of happiness any Romantic couple/group has.

That is the only type of ending that won't have me boycotting Bioware for life. Especially after the lackluster showing of DAV.

I saw the title of one news article (on steam, I'm trying to stay as blind to this game as possible to provide a fair review that are just my thoughts). And it said something along the lines of 'The best fantasy game released this year.'

My immediate thoughts were, 1. Had whoever written that actually played this travesty? 2. How much was the writer paid to say that, and 3... what? Is DAV the ONLY fantasy game release this year? Cause that's the only way it's the best.

8th in series here.

[fagcrush]

here's your art advice: practice and stop whining. when it turns out bad or ugly just be okay with it.

you won't get 'better' at art within minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or even years.

you have to be persistent and not give up just because it's not easy right away. stop whining about not knowing how, suck it up and TRY more than once, twice, thrice - try over and over instead of giving up.

including if you're not sure how or you think it sucks.

even the 'best' artists you know of continue to strive for improvements instead of being satisfied with where they are now.

if your motives for drawing are anything other than a passion for the craft, you'll be miserable. point blank.

nobody is going to give you a guidebook. every artist's journey is completely unique.

NO ONE is born 'talented', it's a myth. /everyone/ works for what skills they have. regardless of what you think.

btw that stupid little computer in your palm has access to search engines and a huge wealth of information. fucking type things into google or whatever instead of crying on tumblr and not accepting people's advice. (that YOU ask for)

only YOU can open yourself up to solution or opportunity. you can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink or whatever

Ive literally been trying with a million different since I was ten I probably owned at least like five how to draw books and followed so many tutorials I swear to God is there some kind of agreement you have to sign to assume things if you're going to send me an ask!!

Some ppls brains weren't made for certain things!!! My brain really wasn't made for drawing!! I've tried!! I don't enjoy it, and dnt have the energy to try anymore when I could put that energy towards things I enjoy and am better at.

Also I'm talking about ONE SPECIFIC THING that I cannot figure out despite multiple attempts. Like. I don't think "just do it" really applies here when I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT.

I never said people are naturally talented or anything like that. Nowhere did I say that. But people are still more inclined

I've also googled coping mechanisms and shit like that. None of it works. Meditation doesn't help. Journaling doesn't help. None of that generic article advice EVER helps. I've TRIED. AND NO NOT JUST ONCE OR TWICE FOR A SHORT TIME. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND STUFF TO HELP ME SINCE I WAS LIKE 12.

[lazaruspiss]

Do you have a favourite Comic artist? imo bill sienkiewicz art is some the best. his style is very recognizable and he uses shape very well. his art in new mutants is some of my favourite especially when illustrating legion. would definetly reccomend reading 'New Mutants #18-31.' Chris Claremont's the writer and I also really enjoy his x-men stories.

ok so. i went to a comic show recently and stumbled into DC's "Young Romance" comics, which i have no interest in reading but i did see this

and its up there as one of my favorite cover illustrations, the hold is just incredibly fucking tender and i think its so well executed. kind of regret not getting it if only just so i could get a better res picture of the cover. i went looking, and the artist seems to be Jay Scott Pike who's main deal seemed to be drawing pretty women for DC and like. yeah. yeah i get it. im not sure id call him a favorite comic artist of mine but this cover has left an impression on me and i certainly think he was very skilled.

to try and think of a favorite... its easier for me to remember artists that i hate that are super popular tbh so its taking me a minute. In general i tend to prioritize fluidity and interesting visuals over Strict Anatomical Correctness. i like superhero comics because they don't need to be hyper realistic. im not gonna list names bc im not a shithead but i have bitched in DMs before bc i simply Do Not understand the appeal of certain popular artists.

to try and list some more artists that ive enjoyed the work of: Sara Kipin was the artist for Poison Ivy: Thorns, which i thought was gorgeous. I stumbled into Serg Acuña's art a few times, I do like it although not enough to seek it out. Daniele Di Nicuolo is another one that's like that.

in general i have a habit of not really paying much attention to creator names unless i need/want to for some specific reason, because i really like to take things as they are. artists and writers have their highs and lows, so i just take each comic i read as it comes for the most part.

sometimes i wish i liked more Marvel stuff, but the only runner ups after my Nightwing obsession are Ghost and X of Dark Horse comics <3 im barely aware of anything Marvel, but i keep hoping ill be able to at least get into Moon Knight one of these days.

[patrickm156]

End of The Line

Peach jumped off her white horse as her boots planted the ground. She was wearing a tan cowboy hat with a red band and two horns on the side of the hat, she wore a red bandana tied around her neck along with a symbol on the side, she wore a brown leather vest along with a buttoned up blue denim shirt, she wore denim jeans along with chaps that covers them, she wore brown leather boots and wore tan leather gloves that covered her hands and finally she had a brown leather holster around her wrist with a cork gun secured. Her boots crunched the dirt on the ground with each step she took while dust was being kicked up, she tipped her hat up to reveal cold blue eyes as she slowly approached two outlaws that were staring her down. The first outlaw wore a white cowboy hat with a red band, she wore light blue shirt that was tied on the bottom which revealed her breast and stomach, she wore short navy blue booty jeans along with dark brown chaps that covers her thighs, she wore white leather boots and tan leather gloves that covered her hands and finally a gold star was on the front of her belt as two dark leather holsters rested on her thighs with a cork gun secure tightly. This woman’s name was Rosalina and she had a high bounty on her head and so did her partner. She stared down the approaching woman as her thumbs hooked through the belt loops. The second outlaw wore a red cowboy hat with a purple band along with a pink bandana tied to her neck, she wore a tan leather vest along with a red flannel shirt, she wore brown leather gloves and denim jeans along with red leather boots and finally she wore a tan leather holster with a heart symbol in the front and a cork gun secured tightly. The second woman’s name was Pauline and she was rumored to be one of the quickest draws in the whole west but today was going to change. The two outlaws watched as Peach stood 20 distance from them as she planted her leather boots firmly on the ground to settle herself for the upcoming draw.

Peach: You two are really wanted throughout the western frontier…you fellas even have a big reward on your head. Besides me turning you in..I plan to get that reward so I can better my town and help my people out..so I suggest you make this simple and easy for the both of us and come with me.

Pauline scoffed at this as she narrowed her eyes towards the bounty hunter in front of her and her partner.

Pauline: If you really think we’ll turn ourselves in then you got another thing coming! We plan to keep shaking up the frontiers and continue to take care of any law enforcer that gets in our way!

Rosalina nodded her head and stared coldly towards the hunter.

Rosalina: If you know what’s good for you then you’ll leave us alone…otherwise we’ll just have to put you down like the rest..

Peach smirked confidently as she slowly hovered her hand over the holster on her hip.

Peach: I knew this wouldn’t be easy..oh well I at least get to further my skills with some target practice~

Pauline had a scowl on her face as she also hovered her hand over her holster.

Pauline: Your gonna regret ever challenging us varmint…let’s do this

Rosalina nodded her head as she slowly hovered her hand over the holster which rested on her thigh. The three women entered a stare-off as they faced each other in the vast desert.

Peach spread her legs to the side which framed both outlaws within her legs while both outlaws made some space from each other so they wouldn’t get in each other's way while dueling. Peach squinted her eyes on the two woman as her fingers wiggled over her leather holster ready to draw and to turn these two in, Pauline narrowed her eyes on the hunter in front of her and her partner as her fingers were wiggling over her holster also ready to draw at any moment and to cork this woman down. And finally Rosalina narrowed her eyes at the bounty hunter as she wiggled her fingers near the holster on her thigh as she was also ready to draw and to make sure that this hunter didn't follow them. The three women were backing down from their respective goals so easily as they continued to stare-off against each other.

Some dust swirls by each woman’s boots as a tumbleweed drifts between them setting the mood for this showdown. Peach licks her dry lips as she starts to squint her eyes deeper towards the two outlaws. Her gloved fingers wiggled slowly by her holster as she was staring intently at the two woman wondering what their plan could be, Pauline’s scowl deepened as her gloved fingers wiggled by her cork gun slightly quicker as she was ready and waiting in anticipation to defeat this hunter so her and her partner can be on their merry way. Rosalina licks her light purple lips as she planted the heel of her boots firmly on the dirt ground as she settled in her stance. She wiggles her gloved fingers gently and patiently near her holster as she squinted her eyes further towards the bounty hunter ready to end this and get this over with. Peach’s body was relaxed as she flexed her fingers and then stretched them, Pauline’s body was tensed as she licked her ruby lips while her gloved fingers continued to wiggle slightly faster and finally Rosalina’s face had a mixture between determination and concentration as her fingers continued to gently and patiently wiggle towards her cork gun.

The warm afternoon sun shone brightly on the three women as sweat went down their foreheads with the wind slightly blowing their hair to the side. Peach rested her hand on the handle of her cork gun as her thumb slowly stroked the handle while her finger was moving towards the trigger, Pauline’s hand gripped the handle of her cork gun tightly as her fingers caressed the gun ready to start this showdown already. Rosalina’s fingers gently drummed against the handle of her cork gun as it made a sort of rhythm while her thumb rubbed against the handle as well now wanting to draw and fire.

Silence filled the tense air as the three women had different goals in mind and were ready to achieve them by any means necessary. It was all up to skill or luck to see who would walk away unscathed. All of a sudden the silence was broken by Pauline.

Pauline: DRAW!!

The two outlaws suddenly drew their cork guns at lighting speed but were caught off guard as two corks landed on their chest and stomach. Their eyes slowly shifted to Peach as she already had her cork gun drawn out with smoke blowing from it.

Peach: I think you’ll two be coming with me now~

The bounty hunter then used her rope to trap the two outlaws as she rode back into town ready to fix her town up.

It was the end of the movie and Peach, Daisy, Rosalina and Pauline had smiles on their faces.

Daisy: You all did a good job with this one! I can’t believe you guys won the Mushroom Kingdom film fest!

The three women giggled as they looked at one another

Peach: Practicing and improvising some scenes really helped us out

Pauline: I really didn’t think I could play such a ruthless and angry character..but I’m glad the results were good

Rosalina: I must admit I was nervous at first..but I’m glad everything worked out in the end with this.

Daisy just playfully rolled her eyes as she smirked

Daisy: Well next time they better cast me as well so we can really have some fun!

The four women shared a laugh as they enjoyed the movie. 

Aftering seeing Cowgirl Peach in "Princess Peach Showtime!" I just had to write a small fanfic about it and what better way is a good ol' western movie