#experienced a couple of these and I HATE IT HERE

[alligaytorswamp]

hate the obnoxious 'im this character's no.1 fan' people, who aren't actually joking they truly act like they are the only person ever to love this imaginary dude. and it's not even about understanding the character, oh no, there is a high chance this individual doesn't even get the character! it's about how they approach other fans or people who simply also like this particular fictional guy. these freaks straight up manage to gatekeep a character in a conversation with another fan, always acting like it somehow belongs to them completely, turning any and all topic revolving around this blorbo into a weird competition where you will undoubtedly lose, because god knows they will make a point to act like they are the only person to like this character in the Right way, no one else is even capable of the passion they have, and you... well you just get to experience a curious feeling of 'do i enjoy this character wrong? why do i feel like i'm not doing it right? why do i feel weird for even mentioning them to this person... how the hell did they manage to make me feel bad about liking my fav...?'

[sunsetsandsunshine]

AHHHHH HI FINNIE FIN 🥹🫶🏾💝💗💝💘💕💖‼️‼️‼️

Thank you so much for this ask…I actually REALLY needed a hug rn…this week has been stressful 😬…

Again, really appreciate it. I promise to DM you when life isn’t so…hectic ☺️🩷!!! I kinda just need to figure myself out rn

����🙌🏾‼️

[afuntimepartyy]

Such a polite face… so silly… treat the goob that matches his sister trick the scrap… he does NOT look like this anymore really bad spirit breaking stuff happens to this guy ( and then he becomes awful because of it )

Like… wtf even is this thing

[ruelpsen]

If I had to choose between cutting off my hand and redoing grad school apps, I'd seriously consider the hand. Be gentle with yourself, it's a fucking slog. What kind of program are you looking into?

Thank you for the reminder to be gentle. This shit has been stressful, and having for various reasons only about a month and a half to actually do focused work on applying has SUCKED. Not looking forward to potentially having to do this again in the future (it's complicated but I'll explain why in a sec), but I am SO looking forward to two weeks from now when these applications are in and it's out of my hands, as much as the waiting game itself sucks in its own way.

As for programs, I don't want to get too specific. I was a double major in undergrad, and I'm not exaggerating when I say I've literally never met anyone else with those two specific majors. (Ftr one is a STEM field and the other in the humanities.) I want to keep studying both in some capacity in the future, but to make a long story short I'm stuck in a position where I have to hold off on applying to the program in the humanities for now.

As annoyed as I am about the 'long story' part of that, I'm totally fine with prioritizing the program in STEM for now. Hell, in some ways that's a good thing given the limited amount of time I have to work on applications. But at the same time, I've greatly limited the number of schools I'm applying to so I can focus on creating well-tailored applications for their specific programs and faculty, and that means each potential rejection would leave me with a far smaller share of options. It's a bit of a risk, but damn it I'm trying my best to show how strong of a student I've been and that I would work well with their specific people. Hopefully things work out in the end.

I hope your own efforts have paid off too, wherever life has taken you.

[steviescrystals]

i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

[alinaandalion]

begging for people to stop hard coding numbers in excel with no reference or explanation about how they fucking came up with it.

leave a fucking audit trail so people can just pick up what you've worked on and understand how to recreate it

[sonrium]

DP X DC: A Minor Drinking Problem

Phantom is a relatively new member of the JLA, but it's been a few months, and things are settling in well. He's shy and polite but is a master of the snark with villains.

Before a big mission, the all hands on deck kind, everyone is talking about scars and the crazy stories behind them to distract from the coming fight. Danny, finally feeling like he can join in the conversation with all these adult heroes, pulls off his right glove to show a pretty gnarly scar on the back of his wrist. “I got this one when I fought a guy from the Revolutionary War a few weeks ago! Didn't think he'd charge me with a bayonet.” He shares a couple more stories and scars, but only the ones that he can easily show off.

Because of stories like that and some historical depictions of Phantom from different time periods, they think he's this ancient and powerful immortal that just looks like a teenager, it wouldnt be the first time. He's powerful enough to go toe to toe with Superman, so there's no way he's actually a kid. He even sometimes has the haunted, world weary eyes that their most hardened members only get after experiencing too much. Danny, being our lovable, obliviously dense idiot, has not realized that they think he's an ancient being.

After the mission concludes -it was a rough one-, the JLA celebrate their victory with a couple drinks back at the watch tower. Danny is understandably uncomfortable with this whole situation and keeps asking, “Are you sure I should be here?” They reassure him it's fine as they pass around beers, which Danny politely declines several times. Danny eventually sees this as the perfect chance to pad his blackmail folders on his inebriated coworkers.

Anyway, as the night goes on, they have a good time, but Phantom still hasn't gotten a drink like the rest of them, and Green Lantern (or hero of your choice) really wants their shy friend to come out of his shell. So, he slams an open beer bottle on the coffee table in front of Phantom. “Come on Phantom! Let loose a little. Celebrate!”

“Dude! What the hell?! I'm 16! That's illegal!” Phantom squeaks in shock.

“We don't care how old you were when you died. It's how long you've been a ghost that counts.” Flash slings an arm around Danny's shoulders from where he’s sat next to him on the couch. Flash can't get drunk, but he also thinks it would be fun to see their uptight new member drunk.

“That's even worse! You'd be giving alcohol to a two year old!” Phantom is horrified that his coworkers are so casually breaking the law.

“But you said you fought in the Revolutionary War this morning!” Green Lantern said with his eyebrows knit in confusion.

“No, I said I fought someone from the Revolutionary War. As in, the ghost of someone from the revolutionary war!”

“You can't pull that on us. There's murals and stuff of you from thousands of years ago.” The Flash waves off with a laugh.

Phantom’s finger presses painfully hard into Flash’s chest. “I do not need to explain time travel to you of all people. My mentor hates you, and I'm STILL sent on missions constantly to clean up your messes.” Phantom's clear and low. Flash liked it better when he was shouting and not staring him down like a predator with narrowed eyes.

(This random idea popped into my head. It made me laugh, so I thought you might, too. Here you go!)

[norrisjpg]

only angel - ʟɴ⁴

the one where lando's best friend finally admits she's not the most experienced in the bedroom - and that's all it takes to flip their innocent dynamic.

part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten

contains; fluff, soft dom!lando, nsfw, smut; clitoral stimulation, implied masturbation, implied squirting, praise kink, mentions of fingering; inexperienced!femoc, talks of loss of virginity, swearing.

...

...

angelic rays of sunlight beamed in through the open windows of a monaco apartment, illuminating the body splayed out on the tangled white sheets of a large bed. it was summer, the air smelt of salt and ice cream, the clouds were nowhere to be seen, and the gentle breeze floated through the crisp air like a melody.

the softest of groans escaped her lips as she rolled away from the very thing that had woken her, and in her slightly hungover state, she had failed to notice how close she was to the edge of her moderately high bed.

thud!

"fuck," lily groaned, laying on the floor in a puddle of last night's carelessly discarded clothes.

footsteps echoed around the apartment, sounding like they were getting closer but she couldn't tell if it was just her throbbing head making things up. lily took a moment to glance downward, feeling a little cold at the loss of her duvet. she was wearing a bra - ew, why had she slept in a bra? - and her underwear was still on, albeit a little lower than what would be considered modest.

she gently pulled them up and managed to drag herself to her feet, and of course, this is when her door swung open. there he was - the reason for her hungover state - in all his glory, looking too good for this time in the morning.

"i heard a bang, are you okay?" lando asked, tilting his head at the girl, who looked a little dishevelled and very tired.

"fell out of bed." she murmured. "i hate you."

"how is it my fault that you fell out of bed?" he retorted, scrunching his face up in the same way he always did.

"because you got me drunk, and now i'm hungover, you twat." she huffed, picking up the clothes on the floor and tossing them into her laundry basket, not bothered by her lack of clothing in front of him.

"oh, get over yourself." lando rolled his eyes with a playful grin.

her response was a grumpy middle finger and she shooed him out of her bedroom, mumbling something about a beauty sleep and how men are so annoying - so lando just left her to it.

in all honesty, his mind had been running at a million miles an hour all morning - reeling from something lily had so casually mentioned last night.

"hey, i'm not a slut!" she slurred, in the cutest way possible.

a joking comment had been made by one of her closest friends, alexandra, about how her dress was a little slutty, and in all honesty it was. alex knew she could say these things to lily because well, they had been best friends before lily even knew who lando was... so a long time.

"if anything, i'm the opposite of a slut." lily giggled softly, leaning back into lando, his arm was draped over her shoulders. "harry and i never had sex anyway and-"

before she could elaborate, their friends returned with the next round of drinks, and the topic of conversation switched rapidly.

surely not.

harry and lily had dated for five years, from when she was sixteen, until she was twenty-one. their relationship was great, until new years' eve of twenty-nineteen came around. lily was well aware that harry was growing impatient with her. harry wanted sex, lily didn't feel she was ready yet. it's not that she felt pressured, but that she wanted to please him, so here she was. to cut a long and slightly traumatic story short, lily had gotten scared as harry was unzipping his jeans - and literally ran away.

somehow, the couple didn't break up for another two years - but the real reason behind that was that once harry realised he wasn't going to be - in his words - 'hitting it' any time soon, he found release in the grasp of some girl he went to college with in maranello. he cheated on lily for two years, and she didn't suspect a thing until he came to visit her after the covid lockdown.

they'd gone out for lunch, and harry had let it slip that he'd had to buy plan b pills recently - and well, that was the end of that.

now, it was news to lando that she and harry hadn't ever gotten intimate with each other - and well, he knew she hadn't brought anyone back to their apartment in time they'd been living together, but surely she'd been getting laid elsewhere.

it would make sense in some ways though. he always noticed how she'd flush a pretty pink colour when ever his hand lingered on her waist, how she'd look undoubtedly flustered whenever his gaze was trained on her, and how she'd become increasingly uncomfortable when a sex scene played in a movie they were watching.

surely not though, right?

lando's dangerous train of thought was interrupted by the soft thudding of footsteps travelling to his ears. his head snapped up to the girl rubbing her eyes, stood groggily behind the couch he was sat on.

"i thought you were having your beauty sleep?" lando teased, raising his eyebrows at the brunette girl, now dressed in the quadrant rugby shirt he had exclusively gifted her in january.

"couldn't sleep, my head hurts too bad." she mumbled, rolling her eyes at his teasing comment. "why do i let you get me drunk?"

"because you love me, duh." he responded, somewhat sassily, making a quiet laugh tumble from her lips.

"whatever, norris." she breathed out, walking over to the kitchen and grabbing some aspirin out of the cupboard below the sink.

she downed two pills along with a cold glass of water, wincing as she felt the cold liquid travel down to her stomach. lando's gaze was lingering, like it usually did - the way her throat bobbed as she swallowed, the way she squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw as the pills were taken down in her pretty mouth - she was just so... enticing.

"come here." lando beckoned softly, gesturing for her to come lay with him. "you can nap here if you want."

"please." she groaned softly, plopping down on the couch next to me and immediately resting her head on his lap.

he noticed the goosebumps rippling across her skin, wondering whether he was causing them, or it was because she was cold. he went with the latter, and pulled the wool blanket on the armrest over her body.

"thankyou." lily murmured, reaching up for his hand to hold, innocently craving some physical touch.

he gently entwined their fingers, caressing her hand with his large thumb. within about three or four minutes, lily had drifted off into a sweet slumber, snuggling into lando's warmth.

...

it had been driving lando quite literally insane all day.

he didn't have the courage to straight up ask her if she was a virgin or not, so here he was, dancing around the question like a fucking tap dancer.

"so you and harry?" lando said quietly, almost praying that she wouldn't hear him.

her head snapped up from her phone, eyebrows knitted together in a confused frown. "yes?"

"well, i mean you never really told about why he's made you not want to date anyone." lando shrugged, his tone seeming a little apprehensive, not wanting to strike a nerve. "like i know he cheated on you, but was that the only thing?"

"um..." she pursed her lips, a little gobsmacked that he was even bringing up the subject of harry, a typically sore topic for her - but she answered nonetheless. "he always pushed me for sex, and... i wasn't ready back then."

"he didn't... did he?" the pause in lando's words made it clear what he meant.

"oh god, no, nothing like that, don't worry." lily shook her head quickly. "but we were like so close to doing it once, and i got scared - then he kind of just... never tried again."

"oh." oh? ask her the question, dumbass. "so... you didn't lose your virginity to him then?"

"no," the brunette shook her head softly.

"when did you lose it then?" lando said quickly, the words falling from his mouth before he even registered the question.

lily went what only can be described as crimson. it's not that she was embarrassed - well, actually she was. lily thought it was a bad thing - she was a literal model, and at the grand age of twenty-three, she still hadn't lost her v-card.

she hesitated, before murmuring, "i- uh... i haven't."

"oh." do you really not have anything better to say, dipshit?

"yeah." she pursed her lips once more, averting her gaze to an inanimate object somewhere in the room.

"do you want to?" lando himself now had no idea where this was going, he was kind of just rolling with whatever fell out of his mouth now.

"of course i do." she huffed. "it's just... i don't want to lose it to some random guy i meet on raya or some shit. and i feel like it's going to put people off, like they're going to think something is wrong with me."

a soft frown made its way onto lando's face, and he shook his head.

"nothing is wrong with you, lily." the brit reassured her. "don't ever think that there's something wrong with you because you weren't ready for sex when someone pushed you for it."

she fell quiet, taking in his words gratefully, looking down at her hands in her lap.

"anyway, i'd rather have some experience before i launch myself into dating again." she admitted, glancing up at lando to gage his reaction - she wasn't really sure what she was suggesting, but she wanted to see what lando thought of it. "but i just... don't know where to get said experience."

lando contemplated, trying to decide whether he should just offer himself up on a platter or not. in all honesty, the thought of her dating anyone else made him feel physically nauseous, let alone the new knowledge that she'd be letting someone else be her first - that made him want to die in a puddle of his own tears.

"well..." he began, his words trailing off. "i could always um... help you out."

she slowly lifted her head up, looking at him with a dazed expression, not sure if she'd heard him right. "what?"

"i wouldn't mind uh.. helping you gain some experience." lando repeated, a little more confident from seeing the dazed look in her eyes. "teach you what us guys like, teach you what you like."

lily blinked at her best friend, furrowing her eyebrows. "really?"

"if you'd be up for it, yeah." he nodded, leaning back against the couch a little more. "and we'd go slow, promise. we can take it at whatever pace you'd like, sweetheart."

the way he called her 'sweetheart' made her inner thighs tingle and heat pool in her lower tummy. she simply nodded, too in shock from this agreement they'd just made - was she really going to fuck her best friend in the somewhat near future?

"words, come on." he said slowly, gesturing for her to come to him on the other side of the couch.

"yeah, yeah." she breathed out, getting up and walking to him. "i want that."

"sit." he patted his lap, and she just stared, doe-eyed.

he chuckled softly, leaning up and grabbing her hips, pulling her down on his lap so she was straddling him, her face now at a level height with him.

"is this okay?" he murmured softly, pushing her hair behind her shoulder, mapping out all the places he wanted to kiss her.

"yeah," she breathed out. "i'll tell you if it's not."

"atta' girl." he praised softly, and could have whined at his words.

okay, so lando hadn't even touched her and he'd already discovered she had a praise kink - a good start.

instead of whining, her breath hitched and her cheeks flushed once again, earning a soft smirk from lando as he traced his index finger over her jawline.

"can i kiss you, pretty girl?" lando asked softly, now cupping her jaw with one hand, and drawing circles on her tummy with the other.

it's like her whole world stopped, that sentence was like music to her ears.

"yeah." she breathed out, eyes flicking over the drop-dead gorgeous features on his tanned face.

usually, lando was a sucker for rough sex, fast and hard. but, while he knew he had to be gentle with her - something else about her just made him want to treat her like glass. he wanted her to fall apart in his arms, but in the most loving and delicate way possible.

so, he leant in, his head a little tilted, briefly brushing their noses together before softly connecting their lips. her breath hitched and he could feel her body melting into his, the delicious weight of her feather-light body deepening into his lap. and that wasn't the only thing changing in his lap.

his cock was hard, painfully hard already. he was pathetic, he had literally only just kissed the girl and he was about ready to cum in his boxers.

the kisses were soft and delicate, tongue involved but it wasn't like he was about to devour her whole. he gently pried her legs apart a little further with his free hand, the one previously tracing circles onto her abdomen.

the most angelic of moans left her lips, and she seemed a little shocked, the movement of her lips faltering briefly. he opened his eyes, tilting her head back with the hand on her jaw, beginning his toe-curling attack on her neck. he nipped at the sensitive skin gently, soothing the area with his lips shortly after - repeating those actions had her a wet mess in his lap within minutes.

she was whining, whimpering, pleading with him to just do something, anything, everything.

lily's pretty pink lips were parted as soft, airy moans tumbled from her lips, her head still tilted back as he peppered kisses across all the right spots. his fingers were toying at the edge of her underwear in between her legs, relishing in the dampness coating his fingertips - she was soaked, the warm liquid coating the crease of her inner thighs.

he pulled his head away from her neck briefly, gazing at her for permission, earning a needy yes from the angel on top of him.

"wanna hear you, okay?" he told her gently, knowing that as this was her first time, she'd be more likely to hold back her pretty noises.

she nodded, biting her lower lip as her breathing turned a little more rapid and a little more shallow.

"good girl." he praised once more, and the heat rolled up her body once more.

lando slid his fingers underneath her panties, bunching them and pushing them to the side. her hips jolted a little as his knuckles brushed over her dripping folds, and he could have groaned at how sensitive the girl was.

"relax." he murmured softly, flicking his stare back up at her face.

he slid his index finger in between her folds, coating his thick fingers with her sweet juices. his jaw fell a little agape as he gaged just how wet she was.

"fucking hell," he murmured, but it fell on deaf ears, lily too focused on relaxing - her lower lip pulled between her teeth and her eyes fluttered closed.

he slid his ring finger beside his index, parting her folds and dragging his middle finger up and down her sensitive cunt.

the urge to just slip his fingers inside of her and make her cum until she couldn't speak was almost irresistible, almost.

he let her get used to the feeling, before switching his singular middle finger for the pad of his thumb, which he pressed directly against her clit.

"fuuuuck-" she moaned out, eyebrows arching as she tossed her head back. "so good- shit-"

lando just admired her as he slowly traced circles and figures of eights on her sensitive bundle of nerves - the most needy moans now falling from her lips frequently, the volume increasing in tandem with the speed of his thumb.

he increased the pressure and she doubled over into his body, pressing her head into his shoulder and biting down on his skin gently - earning a soft noise from him.

"lando- god-" she whined, moaning out his name like a fucking prayer.

he rubbed her back soothingly with his free hand, while increasing the speed of his thumb once more. her entire body was buzzing, bubbling with anticipation of the rapidly incoming orgasm. her lower abdomen was coiled tight, ready to snap at any moment now.

one particularly rough flick of her clit sent her spiralling, her thighs beginning to shake softly around him as she came, hard. sweet liquid gushed all over his hand as she moaned and whimpered his name loudly, coating his fingers as he slowed his movements to coax her through her intense orgasm. it was pure fucking bliss.

lily panted slowly into his neck, her head reeling from the best thing she'd ever felt in her entire life.

"you okay, baby?" lando asked quietly, pressing a soft kiss to her neck.

"fucking hell." she breathed out. "yeah, i'm good, so good."

he chuckled softly, looking at the seemingly-spent girl in his arms. he didn't want to push her any further today, she looked like she was going to fall asleep right there and then.

"come on, let's get you to bed." lando cooed softly, lifting her up from the couch and walking lily to her bedroom.

fuck, he was going to need a cold shower after that.

...

hello! this is my first official series, and i'm super excited about it! i don't have a name for it so feel free to suggest, and any comments in general are appreciated :)

[fastandcarlos]

Hickey : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris

summary: with all eyes on him, lando can't help but wonder what everyone is captured by. but when he finds out the problem, it's much bigger than he ever could've imagined

The room seemed to fall silent as soon as Lando walked in, with several glances moving in his direction. His heart began to race as he heard sniggers come from around the room, it was something that he wasn’t used to, usually greeted with wide smiles and shakes of the hand. 

It was almost as if he’d walked into a dream, it was unlike anything that Lando had experienced before. He nervously walked to the side of the room as the drivers waited to be called out for the parade, seeking comfort from Oscar and a few of his other close friends who were stood in the corner of the room. 

“What’s going on?” Lando queried as he stood between Oscar and Carlos, his eyes drawn to the expressions on their faces and how they tried their best to not smile across at him. 

“Did you have a nice evening?” Carlos innocently asked him. 

Lando nodded in confusion as a scoff came from George who was just beside Carlos. Lando’s brows knitted together as his anxiety built, hating the feeling as if he was missing out on something amongst them all.  

“Y/N’s here this weekend, isn’t she?” Oscar asked. Lando nodded, knowing that Oscar already knew the answer. “We can tell you guys haven’t seen each other for a while.” 

It didn’t take long before a couple of the other drivers joined their group, not wanting to miss out. There were a few exchanged glances amongst them all, but Lando just couldn’t piece together what they were all trying to say to each other as their eyes silently spoke.  

“Did you happen to have a look in the mirror before you left your hotel room this morning? Or did Y/N say anything to you?” Alex asked, shaking his head across at Lando. 

“She was still asleep, and I was running late.” 

No one could quite believe how oblivious Lando was as he shrugged. It had grabbed everyone’s attention as soon as he entered the room, and had probably delighted the cameras as soon as Lando entered the paddock that morning.  

“Can someone just tell me what I’m missing please?” Lando asked of them all. 

Whilst some of them continued their laughter, Charles pulled his phone out of his back pocket and opened up his camera. Lando immediately panicked when he saw what Charles was doing, brushing over his face. Little did he know though, it wasn’t something that could just be brushed off. 

“Just so you know, I said to the others that we should tell you,” Charles defended before he went to turn his phone around, at least trying to offer Lando one supportive friend. 

“Tell me what? Just tell me what’s the matter.” 

A sigh came from Charles as he turned his phone around. Lando studied himself carefully in it, but couldn’t spot anything, nothing that usually wasn’t out of the ordinary.  

“Can you really not see the issue?” Oscar asked, struggling to hold back his laughter. 

As Lando shook his head, Carlos walked over to him and pulled down the side of his hoodie. Watching on as the material moved, Lando’s eyes soon went wide. 

“Now can you see what the problem is?” Carlos sighed at him, tapping his finger just below him. “Now do you see why you’re the centre of attention this morning?” 

His heart began to race as he moved closer towards the phone, noticing just how dark the mark on his neck was. His eyes shut, knowing that there was nothing that he could do about it, dreading to think what had already happened before he even noticed too. 

“I’ve got a hickey,” Lando muttered underneath his breath. 

No one quite knew where to look as Lando looked around in panic. It was beyond anything that Lando could’ve ever imagined, almost like the things that nightmares are made of, especially when you get as much attention as he does. 

“What am I supposed to do?” He nervously asked, but no one seemed to have the answer, it was a situation that none of the drivers had ever found themselves in before. 

There was one driver though who had a bit of an idea. “What about if you paint yourself purple for the race today, that way it’ll blend in and no one will ever know?” 

“Daniel, sometimes I really just want to knock you out.” 

Whilst Lando looked unimpressed, Daniel’s suggestion earnt a chorus of laughs from many of the other drivers. Whilst some couldn’t hold back their giggles, luckily for Lando, he had a couple who could sympathise. 

“There’s got to be some merch somewhere that’ll hide your neck,” Alex suggested, throwing his arm over Lando’s shoulders. “If that fails, just pretend you’ve got a nasty stomach bug and ask to go home.” 

“I’m just going to have to own it now, I bet there’s headlines everywhere, aren’t there?” Lando asked, the silence around the room telling him everything that he needed to know. 

Of all of the boys, George cleared his throat. “I promise that the headlines aren’t as terrible as you probably think they are Lando.” 

Lando nodded, it still didn’t make him feel any better. Especially for you. You were just a few minutes from arriving at the paddock and he knew exactly what sort of questions would be sent your way upon your arrival. 

Like the media, a few of the boys couldn’t help but think about Y/N too. “Have you got matching marks or something?” Daniel quizzed, unable to stop himself messing with Lando, just like Lando had done with him many times. “Are you just letting everyone know you’re together this weekend.” 

“You can tease me all you want, but none of you are to say anything to Y/N,” Lando quickly warned them all, “she’s going to be embarrassed enough about this as it is when she gets here.” 

“I never had Y/N down for this type of person.” 

“Daniel!” Lando groaned, elbowing him in the side. “I’m being serious, if anyone says anything to Y/N then I can guarantee you right now that I know all of your weaknesses and I will happily expose you all for them.” 

It was funny watching Lando be serious, but when it came to you, they all knew just how much he meant it. He would back you all the way and defend you no matter what had happened. 

“At least we all know you and Y/N are happy together,” Carlos grinned as he tried to lighten the mood again. “Let’s worry more about covering this mess up for now seeing as we’ve got a race to get to soon.” 

“You’re all enjoying this too much,” Lando scolded, displeased by the smirks on many of his closest friends around him. “Some of you really need to get yourselves girlfriends.” 

As Lando went to walk off with Carlos, Charles quickly stopped him. Before Lando could protest, Charles used his phone to take a photo of Lando and keep it as a memory. 

“Just for the future,” he innocently smiled as Lando hit against his arm. “I think this is an important day that we might all want to remember one day.” 

“I’ve never hated a group of people more in my life,” Lando sighed as Charles slotted his phone away. “At least there’s one person who wants to help me out.” 

“I’ve got no sympathy,” Oscar shrugged, seemingly the spokesperson of the group. “You should’ve known what you were doing back at your hotel last night.” 

Lando’s eyes rolled at Oscar’s scolding, “do you think if I knew this was going to happen I would have let Y/N do this to me?” He quizzed, pointing at the mark. 

“Knowing you, yes,” Oscar couldn’t help but laugh, “anything to get a little bit of attention, we all know what you’re like with your relationship.” 

“I honestly hate you all.” 

“But at least we all know Y/N loves you though!” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[kaijutegu]

Beating the Heat while Fat: A Summer Survival Guide

Summer is (almost) here and it’s going to be hotter than ever. If you’re fat (like me), you know how much hot weather sucks. Specifically, we get to deal with fun issues like underboob sweat, chub rub, skin fold sunburn, and more. And while I like to take a body neutral approach to everything, this can be hard in summer thanks to exclusion and neglect.

The thing is that not a lot of people really... talk about these things, though, because that would interfere with our image of summer. Not a lot of companies are marketing their stuff as a solution to fat people’s problems, because that would be acknowledging that fat people might actually want to go outside during summer.

Having been fat for many a summer now, I want to share some of my resources for enjoying summer! These are all based on personal recommendations and things I have directly experienced. Please feel free to reblog and add on with your experiences and recommendations!

However, if your commentary is even remotely fatphobic, you will be blocked and your comments will be deleted. This post is not for you, and nobody is actually interested in what you have to say!

Back and Underboob Sweat

Two words: Gold Bond. Gold Bond fixes this. It comes in powder, stick, and spray form. I’ve used the powder in shoes, but not on my body. They’ve recently released an invisible form of the spray, which I’m very excited about.

Spray this under your breast tissue or other skin folds, or on flat areas of skin like your lower back that tend to sweat. Some of their powders have aloe in them, which is delightfully soothing for the skin.

Make sure that if you’re sensitive to scent, you buy one of the unscented versions. The “fresh” scent is nice, but it is a scent!

When you’re using this type of spray, do it clean but dry. Don’t do it right after a shower- give your skin a chance to dry off. Lift your breast or skin fold, spray underneath, and then hold it for a couple of seconds to let the spray dry down.

You can also use other types of powder, like body powder or baby powder. There’s mixed evidence about talc-containing powder and its link to cancer, but some people do find talcum powder more irritating than talc-free powder, so whether or not you use this is up to you.

Do keep in mind that this is NOT sunscreen! Apply your sunscreen first for areas of exposed skin.

Chub Rub

Dealing with the tops of your thighs rubbing together is extremely unfun. There are a couple of ways I like to deal with this!

Slip Shorts

I actually reviewed a bunch of these a few years ago. Slip shorts or bike shorts are perfect for wearing under dresses or loose-fitting rompers as a way to stop your thighs from rubbing. As a bonus, if you’re using bike shorts, sometimes they come with extra pockets to stash stuff in.

Friction Sticks

If you’re wearing a swimsuit and don’t want to wear shorts, or just don’t want to wear shorts, period, then a friction stick is another good way to avoid chub rub! I have a couple, Bodyglide and Gold Bond.

If you’re buying Bodyglide, they have one that’s just as good, Bodyglide Outdoor, that is sometimes cheaper. There’s a Bodyglide “For Her” which I’ve never tried, but that’s usually more expensive and let’s be real, do you really need to moisturize your inner thighs? I think not!

There’s also creams you can use but I find those messy and less effective than the sticks. You might like them, though! Experiment with products to find the one(s) that work for you.

Friction sticks can also stop foot blisters. Rub a little on your heel, toe, or wherever you get hot spots. 

Dealing With Sweat

I sweat, you sweat, we all sweat. Humans were meant to sweat. Sweating’s a good thing. But that doesn’t mean it’s fun, and frankly I hate being sweaty. Typically, fat people sweat more than thin people, for several reasons related to the way we thermoregulate.

Fortunately, there are lots of ways to make summer sweating less annoying. I’ve written about this before, so you can check out that post for some of my favorite tips for dealing with sweat. Here’s some of the highlights.

Evaporative Cooling

A bandanna or other wrap filled with water crystals can do AMAZING things. You can make this yourself really easily- if you can’t find water crystals, you can just use Orbeez. They sell little 99 cent packs of those in the checkout lines at some stores and at the dollar store, and you can make several cooling wraps with one packet.

You can also get evaporative cooling towels, like Frogg Toggs. I don’t like those as much because they tend to start smelling a little funny, but they’re great for larger area coverage.

Using these will help cool you down and will do the same thing that sweat does– without being sticky.

Hair

If you have long hair, get it off the back of your neck. I used to put it up in a bun with a bun former, but now I just use claw clips. They’re cuter and easier! Seriously, this will help you so much. Get the hair up and away from your skin, you’ll feel so much better.

Hand Fans

I always have a hand fan with me, but not one of the little battery operated ones. I’ve tried a lot of those! I even took one up a mountain once, and it was the only reason I survived. But they never provide the same level of breeze that my folding fan does.

I use this one because it’s cute, and you can get cute ones for a couple bucks on Amazon. I do prefer fabric to the stiff paper ones, just because they’re a bit more durable- I’ve had mine for years now. It’s good.

I’m also not a huge fan of those fans that go around your neck, but I’ve seen many people enjoying them. If they work for you, great!

Hydration and Electrolytes

Carry water with you when you go places, and if you’re gonna be out for a while doing anything strenuous, take some electrolyte tablets with you. I like Nuun because I think they taste good, but there’s lots of brands out there.

There’s no one mineral called electrolyte, just so you know. Electrolytes are a group of minerals that includes sodium, potassium, and chloride as the primary (or significant) electrolytes. Electrolytes are important because they have a natural positive or negative electrical charge when dissolved in water. This electricity is how your nerves transmit information and how your cells make your muscles contract, so low levels of electrolytes can cause some serious issues. Different electrolyte imbalances have different symptoms, but common symptoms include nausea, fatigue, confusion, tremors, muscle spasms (cramps), and dizziness.

If you’re feeling those as you’re moving around outside, get somewhere cool, drink some water, and either eat some food or add electrolyte tablets to your water. This will help stabilize you quickly!

Skin Fold Sunburn Prevention

Everybody should wear sunscreen, period. End of story.

But if you’re applying sunscreen by yourself and you have skin folds, it can be a pain to reach them! This is especially true for any folds that form on your upper back or around your upper arm.

These areas can burn and be very painful, especially if you’re in swimwear or a sleeveless top. It’s also VERY easy to forget that these areas need sunscreen!

If you don’t want or don’t have someone to help you apply those areas you can’t reach, spray sunscreen can be a way to get those areas. If you don’t like the spray or want heavier coverage with a cream, then use a lotion applicator!

If the stick style doesn’t work for you (like if you have shoulder mobility issues), the strap style asks for a different range of motion. If you can’t find one that works for you at a big box store, look at a pharmacy. These are often sold as disability aids or for elderly people with a reduced range of motion.

But honestly, one of the most important things about this is just knowing your body. Know where your skin folds are and think about how they move as you’re applying sunscreen. Get underneath them- as you move, those areas can be exposed to the sun, too.

So yeah, that’s my best advice for beating the heat while fat. If you’ve got other tips, feel free to share them!

[willowed-wisp]

NSFW ALPHABET [ könig ]

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s a literally teddy bear, he’s so caring when he gets past the anxiety. Whether it’s your first time as a couple or ten years in- he’s giving you cuddles, he’s grabbing snacks and drinks for you.

Whatever you ask, you will be given by König after sex and in general.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

König hates himself- it’s a well known fact. He doesn’t like an inch of himself… until he met you. Compliment this man to get his self worth up. He guesses his hands, he soon finds out he’s quite talented with them.

On you, he can’t narrow it down. You are an angel in human form to this man. It’s not a body part, but your voice. He could hear you talk about anything and you’d have his full attention.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He adores the closeness to you. He doesn’t feel completely spent until he’s cum inside of you. And there’s ALOT of it from years of pent up frustration.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

The military is the only thing that kept him alive for so long, he wants to fuck you in his full gear- minus the weapons. It’s like both worlds colliding.

Bonus points if he does it in a KorTech office. No he is not ashamed by it- he is a freak in the bedroom.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Very little experience, you’re probably the second or most probably the first person he’s been intimate with.

This guy avoids humans, you just happen to be a kind and tolerable one.

You probably teach him a fair few tricks, but with the equipment he’s packing… it doesn’t take many tweaks to have mind blowing sex. Good with his hands, remember.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

SPOONING: He’s such an intimate guy, loves holding as much of you as he can and feeling your body. He’s touched starved. He can get a good angle without hurting you with his well endowments.

CLOSE-UP: He loves the comfort of sitting with you eye level watching you come undone. He can hold you the closest you’ve ever been. It’s also friendly to his predicament downstairs, you have full control over what happens because you’re on top. He doesn’t mind being a bottom once in a while.

SEATED STRADDLE: Loves it after you’ve just eaten dinner and you straddle his lap. One thing leads to another and you’re eye level with him- his feet on the ground at either side of the chair so when he feels dominant he can plough up into you. Another safe position to prevent soreness for your sake.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Doesn’t really mess around- because of his anxiety, he wants you to have earth shattering sex. He has an odd joke here and there but in general he’s really quiet because he’s so focused on how well you pulse around him and making you feel good.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Snail trail of like dark/dirty blonde hair- maybe a little darker than his head of hair. He’s relatively well groomed, again from being self conscious.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s so devoted- a teddy bear in a grizzly’s form. Kisses you all the down and goes down on you for hours. Lips never really leaving you.

Been known to put rose petals on the bed before throwing you on the bed and his head between your thighs in a few seconds.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

So depressed he never felt the need to, maybe antidepressants used to inhibit his sex drive.

Doesn’t even do it when you’re together- he can’t get off unless he’s buried inches deep in you. Even blowjobs, no matter how amazing you are, he needs your pussy.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

AURALISM : He can’t enough of hearing you moaning on top of him, under him… anywhere. And the noises of how wet you are, he’s getting off on that.

ROLEPLAY: He lives two lives and likes that you embrace that in asking him to fuck you in his gear… his dirty secret is ticked off the bucketlist. He looks good in any emergency service costume.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As long as it’s you and him; he’ll fuck you anywhere in your home. If you met him still living at your parents’, he gets off fucking you against the wall to limit the noise. Your parents thought it was squirrels or raccoons (wherever you live)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your sweet moans being dragged out while he taints your skin with lovebites. Also gets off to you in controls because he could easily top you but you just have to prove you can top the 6’10” military man.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Insulting you in any way- degradation isn’t his thing, he’d gut anybody who dares insult you.

Public sex, just isn’t for this timid guy.

Hurting you in anyway, even when he brushes against your cervix every time you’re fucking, he’s apologising profusely.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Could eat pussy all day, the taste, the sound your folds make when they’re so wet from arousal and your honeyed sounds. He does it so much he is the master of oral.

Prefers being in your pussy compared to blowjobs. He enjoys you, he just can’t get off no matter how skilled you are.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He tries to be slow and sensual to get you used to the stretch around him, but when he’s drunk on you… expect a rabid animal. He’s like a fucking jackhammer, just as long as you can take it. If you prefer slow and sensual he’ll do that but if you’re up for some ploughing, expect not to be able to walk for half an hour afterwards.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

This man doesn’t know the definition of quickie… he’s all about worshipping you and his cock size makes it difficult. He needs to get you nice and wet.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Nothing in public. But he isn’t adversed to fucking you in his office on his desk or you riding up on his chair. Though, he’s never leaving that door unlocked.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Can go three rounds one after the other, like of extensive sex. He’s been in the military for 15-20 years, he’s able to pleasure his partner.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He believes in trying anything once but doesn’t reuse the sex toys after experimenting. And you don’t have a need when he’s around.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Is known to tease, but caves in too easily when you do your little pouty face or start touching things you shouldn’t. You tease him more than the other way round.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He chants German terms of endearment to you and grunts. If you’re taking him so well, he’s moaning as loud as you (you’re screaming for the most part as he starts moving) and it’s such a turn on. It’s like warm wind against your face.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Sometimes will handcuff you on the bed frame and do unspeakable deeds to you to wake you up (consent given beforehand- he’s uncuff you in a heartbeat if you wished it). He’s feasting between the apex of your thighs, fingering you until you’re messing the sheets and then hammering into you with your legs over your head.

You call that beast mode.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It’s pretty obvious, he’s jacked and his v-line encases a nine inch long, girth monster.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He hasn’t been on antidepressants since being with you. He’s not lonely anymore, so his sex drive is wild. Everyday if you can take it and he isn’t hurting you.

Scale of 0-10, a solid 10.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends how many rounds have taken place, but makes sure you have everything you need before he considers sleeping. And when he does, it’s only with your fingers stroking down his body and stroking his hair.

————

masterlist

[notmuchtofind]

don’t move | r.c

Tw: 18+ smut, hate sex, rough sex, p in v, fingering, violence, choking, degrading, name calling (slur,bitch ect), domestic, c0ckwarming , praising, mental b0ndage, mean!rafe

basically just feral <33

synopsis: You’re trying to escape the house whilst arguing with rafe but he won’t let you get away without a fight

a/n: Sorry it’s not 100% proof read, and this is my first rafe smut i’ve done so let me know your honest opinions :) ty x

“i swear to god y/n if you dare. if you dare leave this fucking house!“ Rafe snarls from across the kitchen island as you begin to stumble back to your feet and contemplate twisting the knob to the front door.

You’re petrified, but you needed to get out of this house and away from Rafe. the constant war that was going on between you and rafe for the past couple of months had brought you to breaking point.

Rafe was, once again, back using cocaine heavily. He’d always manage to break his habit for months at a time, and this time you thought maybe it was for good…However, When Ward decided to cut off all of what rafe had left, due to his accidental loss of money within the business. It turned rafe psycho. You’d been with rafe for 3 years, and you’d thought you’d seen the worst. but this time was different.

Tears stream down your face and past the bloody wound that resides along the bottom of your lip. The tears seem to sting the opening slightly as you feel your face grow hotter. This isn’t the first time Rafes hit you. But it’s certainly the hardest. And when he’s hit you before, he’s almost instantly apologetic, but tonight Rafes eyes no longer reside his soul. He’s switched.

“P-Please Rafe, Stop!!” said almost screaming, desperately, whilst cracks formed in your voice. “you need me y/n” rafe patronised “you’re fucking nothing without me, get the fuck back here now, you bitch!” he spits. but you run, out the door with the keys to the truck you managed to take from rafes pocket the moment you realised he was about to have another outburst.

you wrestle with the keys whilst stumbling bare foot on the mud outside the mansion. You fall onto the dust and drop the keys. It’s pitch black, and you’re unable to see clearly, the only light that glares ever so slightly is the one seeping through the open door to the mansion of the boy thats held you there unwillingly for too long.

You was unable to hear the footsteps that had krept up behind you due to the loud pounding of your heart inside your chest. “fucking slut” he spits as he steps his boot onto the fingers you was using to locate the keys. you wince in pain as rafe puts all his body weight onto your hand. “i told you not to leave baby” he coos whilst looking down at you and tilting his head slightly. Rafe holds eye contact, he looks to be in awe as tears still stream down your face and whimpers escape your lips from the pain you’re experiencing. Rafes large hand grasps your jaw, big enough to rest his thumb and fingers on each side of your cheeks. He then slowly digs his fingertips into the sides of your face and elevates your body up towards his. “i think it’s time you come back inside”.

Rafe grabs you by the fabric of your top and with no hesitation, drags you along the dirt, whilst you squirm and wince in pain. he drags you all the way back into the front door of the mansion. Your legs and arms bruised and grazed, and your clothes now blood stained.

you felt exsausted, but sobs and whimpering still managed to escape your lips. Now laid helplessly in the hallway you beg “Rafe please baby please, this isn’t you i know you you don’t want to hurt me rafe…You don’t want to do this to me, please-please” But before Rafe could’ve even processed what you was saying he’s halfway down the hallway and into the kitchen.

Now petrified to move you lay still in the hallway. After hearing rafe snorting, what youre adiment is cocaine, he reappears, Shirtless, and holding a long woven wrope wrapped around his fist. “So you decide to obey me now and stay put like a good girl?” Rafe states before unapologetically grabbing your left ankle and dragging you through to the dining room.

Rafe dumps your body and runs his hand over his head before he takes his cigarette packet out of his back pocket and lights a cigarette. holding the cigarette between his lips he begins to unravel the rope, wrapping it around the heavy wooden dining table leg. He then begins to wrap the wrope around you ankle, tightly. you beg and squirm and kick.“what the fuck are you doi-“ but before you can finish, your head thuds on the floor as rafes palm collides with your cheek “shut. the. fuck. up” he huffs, rolling his eyes. “jesus fucking christ y/n, you never learn?” he says whilst walking away from you and taking a drag of his cigarette.

You’re now unable to move from the floor with your ankle tied to the table leg, you just watch Rafe pace up and down, puffing on his cigarette, until he stubs it out on the wall and walks back over to where you lay.

Rafe kneels onto the floor, placing his knees at either side of your torso. Petrified and unsure of his next move,you move your head to one side but lay completely still “mmmm what a good girl” rafe coos whilst he begins to trail his hands from your waist to the bottom hem of your top. Rafe begins to lift up your top, revealing your naked tits. Your nipples begin to harden due to the exposure of the quickly changed temperature and rafe lets out a shakey breath.

Your breaths begin to become faster as you begin to notice rafe growing larger and larger through his pants, and even though your petrified of a potential violent outburst from rafe, you can’t help when your stomach fills with butterflies as you imagine the girthy length that rests inside.

Rafes eyes don’t move from your tits as he begins to flick your hard nipple back and forth, occasionally twiddling it between his index and thumb. “I love when you don’t question me y/n i love when you just lay there, all pretty for me as i do what i please. You’re mine” Rafe says, still not taking eyes off your chest.

The way rafes words race around your mind, as much as you hate when rafes like this, there’s somthing about him praising you that makes you weak. You’re so disgusted with yourself knowing you’ve just let him treat you like shit but you know your pussys becoming more and more sticky in your panties as he speaks.

You still lay there absolutely still, as rafe begins to rub himself through his pants before unbuckling them and letting them fall just past his upper thigh. as well as his boxers. His shaft springs up and you get a glimps of his precum shimmering at the end of his tip. Rafe throws his head back whilst he gives himself 3 long strokes over your body. He then begins yanking your trousers and panties down simultaneously, sending pain up your leg as he takes no care in how your legs unable to move due to being tied down. But we’ve established by now rafe doesn’t care about hurting you. if anything it gets him off.

“aha ohhh fuck” rafe chuckles, his eyes dart too your sticky wet folds “it looks like my girl enjoys obeying hmm?” he mocks. tracing his middle finger over your outer lips gently, gathering the already spilt juices from your pathetic cunt. Rafe brings his hand up and forces his fingers into your mouth, wriggling them around the tip of your tongue and then tracing them back around your nipples for a 2nd time.

“do you taste good my sweet girl?”

Your head tilts back and your hips cock up as you allow the pleasure to rush through your body.

The sound of a slap echoes through the dimly lit room and a stinging pain engulfs the surface area of your cheek “don’t. fucking move you slut” rafe spits. loosing his patients he wraps his fist around your throat and abruptly shoves his fingers past your dripping folds and enters the walls of your cunt. You can’t help but whimper slightly, However rafe squeezes your throat so tight you’re pretty sure he was unable to hear it.

Your walls expand as your body aches for something larger to fill your tight hole. Rafe finger fucks you rough, making your body move loosely around his thick fingers. rafe groans as he takes his hand off your throat and begins stroking himself whilst still finger fucking your pussy, getting off to the sensation of how tight u was around his fingers and the squelching sounds that are made everytime he thrusts his fingers in and out.

“mmmm fuck baby” he growls as he pulls his fingers out of you. rafe pulls you close to him by your thighs, unaware of the pain it causes you whilst still attached to the table. but he couldn’t care less, all he cares about is filling your hole with his cock. feeling if you become wetter the deeper he goes. he loves using your pathetic little body, your body is helpless and weak compared to his, and he likes to make sure youre aware. “goood girl, good giiiirlll” he emphasises as his cock slowly enters your cunt. you gasp and your pussy never gets usto the size, it always manages to tear you open slightly, causing a slight stinging pain as he thrusts in and out of you, getting faster and faster he grunts simoultaneously “that’s my sweet girl, stay still for daddy whilst he fucks you senseless” “mmmm”

You’re already so close, and rafe can tell. he proceeds to tell you how good your pussy feels and that you’re all his and that’s all you ever will be. that’s what your purpose is, to serve rafe, in anyway he wants.

“i can feel you tightening around my cock you slut” he says with pleasure “you can cum for me but don’t you dare fucking move” rafe demands “i swear to god if you fucking move i’ll have to carry on fucking you even when it fucking hurts” he threatens.

You beging to feel the sweetness rush over your body, starting in your head and making its way down your body. You fight the urge to jerk your body up towards rafe so his cock goes deeper, you resist the urge to moan his name or dig your fingernails deep in his back to keep him in position. You fight the urges and your orgasm takes over your whole mind, the only thing you can do to express how you truley feel is roll your eyes back into your head whilst your pussy gushes, leaving your cream to rest on rafes cock. He grunts once more before you feel his cum shoot inside you and fill your walls. You moan in pleasure and rafe settles next to you, but still enough to keep his cock inside your pussy, not allowing his cum to escape, as a sign to show you that you’re his.

You’re his slut here to keep his cock warm

please feel free to repost if you enjoyed 🥹 <3

[ariascoven]

⟡ AFTER MIDNIGHT

PAIRING : eve fletcher x reader

CONTENT / WARNINGS : reader referred to as a girl. legal age gap. petnames (honey, baby, sweetheart & doll). public display of affection. public restroom. oral (eve receiving). fingering (reader receiving). little bit of praising. biting. mommy kink.

WORD COUNT : 3.1k

MY MASTERLIST

As soon as you step inside the bar, you immediately regret the entirety of your life choices. The smell of alcohol, the screaming, the music blaring — it was all too much for you. But you promised your friends from your literature class that you would come. With a deep regretful sigh, you make your way towards the bar, heels clicking against the floor rhythmically. “Hey, can I get a vodka, please?” You ask the bartender, the loudness forcing you to speak louder than you're used to and making you wince at the sound of your own voice. The guy nods, turning around to make your drink. You sigh once more, looking around and taking notice of the way everyone was having fun except you. You just hate going out. You look down at yourself, judging the outfit you picked for the night; a short, navy blue dress that was glued to your body, showcasing all of your curves — or the lack of, accompanied by a pair of black heels. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, you wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to hide from others’ prying gazes, even though you're sure no one was looking your way. That is, until you notice her, Eve Fletcher, the middle aged woman with whom you share your class with. She smiles, looking as beautiful as ever. She's sitting on a round table with the other students and the teacher, her hand waving around in a silent request for you to join them. You take your drink from the barista, muttering your thanks before slowly making your way to the table, dragging your feet across the bar and wishing you could go back home.

“Hey, honey!” Eve greets warmly, standing up to give you a quick hug. You smile, rubbing her back affectionately and muttering a quiet ‘hi’. “Here, sit with us. Wow, you look amazing in that dress!” The sound of her voice seems to calm your nerves down as you sit on the chair right beside hers, subtly moving it to get even closer. You greet the others, nervousness washing over you — they've never seen you like this, only wearing oversized clothing to class and putting your hair up if you were lucky enough. You hug yourself, using the excuse that the air was getting cold. “Oh, baby, you didn't bring a jacket with you? Here, take mine, I'm not cold.” Eve’s voice takes a motherly tone as she throws her jacket over your shoulders and rubs your arms before pulling back and taking a sip from her own drink. She then notices the glass in your hand, nodding towards it. “Vodka?” You nod. “Tequila.” She says, swirling her cup around. The others talk and laugh together, but all you can do is focus on the couples dancing together on the dance floor.

You've been feeling terribly lonely lately, the realization that you've never had a relationship before hitting you like a truck. You're 20, for God’s sake! Of course you know that you're still young, but watching everyone around you experiencing love while you're sitting on the bench, just waiting for your turn… it gets tiring at a certain point. You let out a small sigh that feels like the 100th one that night, resting your cheek on your hand. Lost in your thoughts, you didn't even realize Curtis and Margo had left the table and joined the dance floor as well. Eve studies you intently, but before she can say anything, Julian snatches her to dance and you're left all alone, sadly sipping on your vodka. You smile, watching Eve dancing around happily. Julian is clearly flirting with her, does she know that? Maybe she does, maybe she's flirting back. You frown. Is she? The young man leans in to whisper something in her ear before disappearing in the crowd, probably going to the bathroom or to get a drink.

Then your heart takes a leap inside your chest when the older woman turns to look at you, eyes searching yours. She smiles, waving her hand and beckoning you closer. Awkwardly, you march through the crowded space. “Is something wrong, honey?” Her angelic voice fills your ears, giving you butterflies. You wave a dismissive hand, shaking your head. “Nah, nothing wrong. Just… you know. Life. Or, not-life.” Eve gives you an understanding smile, giggling. She steps closer to you, arms reaching out to wrap around your neck. Your tongue flicks out to wet your suddenly dry lips, hands instinctively gripping her waist. It felt like heaven, your bodies moving together in the rhythm of whatever song was playing in the crowded bar, whatever, you didn't recognize it. But Eve did. Her eyes are closed as she hums along, the dim lighting of the room making you wonder if she was actually real — you've met lots of beautiful women before, but Eve was just out of this world. A tentative hand reaches to touch her cheek, cupping it tenderly. Her eyes snap open in surprise at the touch, but she quickly melts and leans into it. Your last brain cells are arguing inside your head, one yelling at you to kiss her, the other yelling the exact opposite. But before you can make up your mind, she turns around, pressing her back against your chest. Your heart races at the sudden change, the hand previously on her cheek now awkwardly resting on her waist.

You quickly warm up to the position, your hands gripping her waist with more confidence, slowly sliding down to her hips. She seems to like that, head leaning back to rest on your shoulder while her hand moves to the back of your neck. Your cheeks brush against each other, your eyes closed as you sway together, hips moving together in a sensual dance. The scent of the older woman mixed with the intimacy of the moment is driving you mad with arousal. Your head dips down to nuzzle her neck, inhaling deeply before placing a tender kiss on the soft skin. She makes a noise that sounds a bit too much like a moan, a spark of hope igniting inside of you. You repeat the gesture, causing her head to tilt to the side, giving you further access. You grin against her, peppering the sensitive skin with kisses and small nips. Feeling emboldened by Eve’s quickening heartbeat, your tongue darts out to taste her. She groans lowly, her hand squeezing the back of your neck slightly. Nibbling on her earlobe, a sneaky hand slides up to grope her breast. She gasps, turning her head to look at you with wide eyes. “What are you doing?” She whispers with urgency, but doesn't make any effort to move away from you.

“Living a little. What are you doing?” You have no idea where that came from — the confidence. You're usually a really shy girl, in fact, you're barely able to talk to the middle aged woman during class, preferring to just sit back and admire her from afar. But as you feel her body pressing against yours, you wish you would've done it sooner. Her gaze sends a jolt straight to your throbbing core. She bites her lower lip and the sight is too much. You lean down, kissing her fiercely. She groans against your mouth, spinning around in your arms and pulling you closer, hands tangling in your hair. She bites your lower lip, the action eliciting a hiss from you. You break the kiss, both of you panting. “I always wanted to do that.” She confessed, her low voice turning your brain into mush.

Decidedly, you grab her hand and drag her to the female restroom in a hurry, as if the world is ending. Eve laughs and apologizes to the people you bump into, your mind too focused on getting to the destination to even realize. As you get inside, neither of you notice how filthy the place is as you hurriedly push Eve inside one of the stalls, locking the door and pushing her against it. She grins when you press your body against hers, a low chuckle escaping her lips. “Didn't know you were that bold, doll.” The endearment and the way she says it sends a shiver down your spine. Your lips move to silence her in a fiery kiss, your tongue slipping inside her mouth. Your leg finds its way between hers, pressing up against her. A smirk splatters across your face when you feel her hips grinding down against you, a needy whimper slipping past her red lipstick lips, now puffy from the intensity of your kisses.

You allow her to find her own pace, focusing on the sensitive skin of her neck as you lean down to lick and bite, your teeth grazing against her deliciously. You could stay like that for hours, the taste of her was like a drug, and you were addicted. Your hands knead the older woman’s breasts over her black dress, causing her to moan at the touch, eyes fluttering close while she throws her head back against the cold door. Her hips quicken their pace, grinding almost desperately. You feel your own pussy throbbing when she opens her eyes, looking at you with nothing but pure lust. “Get on your knees.” You could cum just from the demanding tone in her voice, sinking to your knees ridiculously fast and wincing at the bruise that will definitely appear. You have to push the thoughts of how disgusting that public bathroom floor is aside and focus on the woman staring down at you, a side grin that gives you goosebumps playing on her lips. Her hands grip the hem of her dress, hiking the fabric up around her hips. Your mouth waters at the sight, your own hands reaching to grip her thighs. You look up as if asking for permission and she nods, ruffling your hair affectionately.

Your eyes flutter and you lean closer, licking a thick stripe up the fabric of her damp underwear. The action elicits a deep groan from her, her hips bucking instinctively while she tugs at your hair, pulling harshly. A pathetic whine falls from your lips, trembling hands moving to slide her panties down her legs. She breathes out as the cold air hits her most intimate parts, rolling her hips against nothing. “Fuck.” She hisses when you finally touch her, licking her folds and kissing her clit gently, almost teaing. Your fingers leave red marks on her thighs, where you squeeze hard, kneading her flesh. She rides your face, body undulating as you explore every inch of her. You can feel the wetness dripping down your own thighs, face flushing at how embarrassingly needy you've gotten just from eating her out. Your tongue circles her clit slowly before taking it inside your mouth and sucking hard. You look up just in time to see her eyes rolling into the back of her head, hand moving to cover her own mouth and muffle the noises threatening to spill out. You fight the urge to pinch yourself, to make sure this is real life and not another wet dream. Eve seems to read your mind, pulling your head back to look up harshly, hurting your sensitive scalp. “Look at me while you eat my cunt.”

That's the best thing she could ever ask from you, you think. You feel small under her piercing and condescending gaze, eyes locked onto hers. You slow down, your tongue giving small kitten licks. You do it on purpose, knowing the older woman is growing impatient as she glares daggers down at you. Plunging your tongue inside her without a warning, you take her by surprise. And just like that, her resolve crumbles, eyes snapping shut and knees going weak as she holds herself up by gripping the walls. She lets out a loud, almost pornographic moan that only serves to make you wetter, your underwear clinging uncomfortably to your skin. You whimper around her, fucking her with your tongue as fast as you can, eyes never looking away from the blissful expression on her face. Her inner walls flutter and clench around you, encouraging you to move even faster. When her body starts trembling, you know she's close. You watch with lustful eyes as her moans become nothing but high pitched nonsense. Her words are slurred out, and the only thing you're able to make out is, “Keep going, baby, I'm so close.”

“Shit!” She cries out, cumming hard around your tongue. It makes you whine, your eyes rolling back at the sweetest taste you've ever felt in your mouth. You slow down your ministrations, but don't stop until Eve is panting and gasping, sweat covering her forehead and dripping down her face. “Jesus… fucking Christ.” She breathes out, looking down at you with a side smirk. You pull back, wiping the remains of her arousal off your face with the back of your hand and standing up, locking your lips together in a gentle kiss. She hums, arms wrapping around your neck lazily, the closeness between your bodies causing you to feel just how much she is shaking and her heart is racing. “Mmm, now we need to take care of you, don't you think, honey?” She speaks against your lips, raising a brow suggestively. You nod eagerly, squeezing her ass. She groans then chuckles, fixing her dress as you slide her panties back up. “Let's go to my place, doll.” She whispers against your ear, then nips your earlobe playfully.

Back at Eve’s house, your brain barely registers where you are when she pushes you down onto her bed, a yelp escaping from your lips. She crawls on top of you and buries her face in your neck, biting down harshly. “Please…” You cry out, body arching up against her, wide eyes pleading for her to take you. When her hands grip the hem of your dress, you expect her to hike it around your waist, but instead she pulls it over your head and gets rid of your underwear in the blink of an eye. Your brain stops working when she attaches her lips to your nipple while twisting the other between her long fingers, and you can't wait to have them inside of you. She looks up at you and the sinful sight drives you crazy with desire, barely able to form any coherent thoughts. You wanted this for so long, ever since she walked inside that small classroom looking like a goddess, but never did anything about it, being too shy and untrusting of your flirting skills — spoiler alert, you had none. After giving both of your breasts the exact same attention, leaving both of your peaks hardened under her touches, she kisses her way down your body.

All you can do is whine, knuckles turning white as your fingers grip the sheets as if your life depends on it. Her hands work to pull your legs apart, allowing her to bury her face between them. Your quiet whines turn into loud moans as she devours your pussy as if it's her last meal, groaning at the taste. Your hips buck upwards on their own accord, seeking her mouth. Wet noises and moans fill the otherwise quiet room and you thank God for the fact that Eve lives in a house and not in an apartment, that way you don't have to worry about neighbors hearing the noises of your pleasure. Even if you wanted to, you wouldn't be able to keep quiet; Eve’s tongue is too good. Without thinking, you mutter. “Mommy…” The word causes both of you to pause. Your body tenses, your eyes wide with pure horror. However, Eve grins wickedly. “What did you just call me, honey?” She purrs, her chin and nose drenched in your juices. When she notices you're too embarrassed to respond, she speaks up again. “Such a dirty girl, calling me mommy. I think I like that.” Relief washes over you at her words, moaning when her fingers slide down your slit and collecting your arousal. She sucks her own fingers, humming in approval. “All this for me. You've dreamed about this, haven't you?” She nagged, crawling up your body, her nose now brushing against yours. You nod in embarrassment, cheeks covered in a pink color.

Your mouth drops open in a silent moan when she cups your pussy, rubbing her palm against your clit lazily. “Wanna call me that again, sweetheart?” She coos, her voice honeyed. It makes you dizzy, all of it — the tone of her voice, the way she looks at you, her fingers caressing your soaked folds. “Mommy.” You utter quietly. She kisses you tenderly, finally slipping two digits inside your cunt and making you moan around her. Her fingers are easily welcomed into you due to how wet you are, curling to hit the spot that makes you see stars. “Mine.” She whispers in between wet, sloppy kisses. “My pretty girl, all mine.” Her voice takes a possessive tone as she pulls back to look down at you hungrily, biting her lower lip in the way that drives you insane. A third finger joins in, causing your eyes to roll back. She moves to your breasts, alternating between them as she licks your peaks.

One of your hands let go of the sheets to wipe your chin, realizing you're drooling from the intense pleasure. A chain of cuss words leave your lips as you feel your orgasm approaching, the familiar knot in your stomach as you ride her fingers. Your breath comes in small gasps and you bring a hand to your hair, brushing the wild strands of hair away from your sweaty forehead. Her name comes out of your mouth in a loud, long moan as your body convulses beneath her. She moans, feeling your pussy clench desperately around her speedy fingers, who keeps fucking you until you're begging for her to stop. You close your eyes, mind still spinning. “What just happened?” You mutter breathlessly, eliciting a giggle from the older woman. You're panting like you just ran a marathon and her hand is covered in your cum. She forces your mouth open by squeezing your cheeks with her clean hand, the sudden act causing your eyes to snap open. Then, she shoves her fingers into your mouth. You don't complain, looking into her eyes as you suck them clean, tasting yourself. When you're done, she gently removes her fingers from your mouth and cups your face, giving you a quick kiss. “You seem tired, baby. Go to sleep, mommy will take care of you, alright?” These are the last words you hear before drifting off to the best post-fuck sleep you've ever had.

────────────────────────────────

[anniflamma]

So I’ve received a couple of anonymous messages telling me that they were really disappointed in me for liking Elian's Antinous fanart. Instead of answering them individually, I’m just going to make an angry rant post instead. Most of if probably won't make sense anyway.

This post have talk about SA, and homophobia. Be aware. I don’t ship genuinely Telemachus and Antinous, if that’s what you’re wondering. I didn’t even consider the possibility that ship could even exist. At the end of the day, I don't care about that ship.

And do you want me to explain that I know SA is bad? Or that I’m aware Telemachus/Antinous is a toxic ship? Do you think I’m dumb and don’t know that? You don't have to explain to me either, I know that SA is bad, I have experienced it, you don't have to explain to me, trust me I know.

I like Elian's art because it’s really beautiful. Her work is a huge inspiration and encouragement for me when making animatics. But do I REALLY have to spell out, word for word, that I know Antinous is an antagonist and tries to do bad things? Does it mean every time someone draws Antinous and I like it, I have to explain that I like the drawing because it’s well done, not because I support Antinous’ intent toward Penelope and wants to kill Telemachus?

I mean, I’ve seen tons of thirsty comments like, "I hate how Zeus treats women, but your design is really hot" or "Even if Poseidon SA Demeter, this Poseidon I'd go down on all fours for!"

I have seen some stuff….

I guess I could just imitate something like that????

But I know it’s a joke and I know its a fantasy that someone is expressing. Its not real, its fictional. I know all those thirsty ppl who simp over Poseidon, Zeus, or even Antinous aren’t supporting hatred and violence toward women. And yes, I am expecting that you should already know this too. Because if we gonna assume the worst of ppl… Then everyone who likes Greek myth/Epic the musical are pro SA. "Do you like Crice from Epic the musical? That means that you support her actions, you support SA!" "Oh you like Odysseus?! He killed a baby and all of his female slaves cuz they got SA by the suitors! You support infanticide, slavery and SA!" Do you hear how dumb that sounds? To be honest, I wouldn’t be that surprised if there are some who think like this. I mean, this discussion wouldn’t even be a thing, right.

And if you don’t know, I literally make thirst art of Poseidon (and that includes Zeus and Hermes), and you don’t see it as a bad thing??? It’s Poseidon… Do you know what he has done to women in the myths?!

Im going to ramble here and I will bring up stories from greek myth that have SA in it. So be aware.

One example is the story of Caeneus. When Caeneus was a woman, his parents left him to take care of the house while they were out running errands. Poseidon took that as an opportunity to break into the house and sexually assault him. This is probably the only myth where Poseidon actually feels bad after what he did, so he grants Caeneus a wish. Aww, how sweet~~~ /sarcasm.

Do I need to give an example of Zeus? We all know what Zeus does. But hey, I’ve made Poseidon/Hermes ship art. And guess what? There’s a story where Hermes breaks a woman’s leg so she can’t run away from him, and then he sexually assaults her. Isn’t that cute~~! /sarcasm

Heck, I can even go on with my biblical ships. David/Jonathan—David, a serial assaulter and murderer, and Jonathan, a mass murderer. But do I support their actions? No, I do not support mass murder, and its really dumb that I have to spell it out for you.

Daniel/Darius is even questionable too! It's literally a king and his servant, and that power imbalance is so big I don’t know what to tell you! Do I have to spell it out that I know that, in real life, king/servant relationships aren’t cute at all?!

All of these characters that I’ve listed have done or represent horrible things. And I have to tell you that I don't support their actions?! Really? You really can't think outside the box?

But do you see what I’m trying to tell you? We can simp over other ancient mythological figures but Antinous is the red line that we can never cross??? It’s hypocritical and immature, that’s what it is.

Right now, ppl loves the Ody seduces Zeus art I made. And that "ship" is well really questionable too! But nobody have called me a witch and tries to burn me at the stake yet. 😐

And the thing is, I can separate these fictional characters from the real world. I can also separate the fictional material from other fictional interpretations. Exemple, I like The Song of Achilles, in it, they are the same age, but I am also aware that in the Iliad, Achilles is 16 and Patroclus is 26. But do I automatically assume that Madeline Miller likes teens? No! Do I assume that everyone who likes The Song Of Achilles like that shit? No!

But we still can have a disscussion about it without making it into a witch trial.

As long as we can separate different fictional materials, then everything is fine. It only becomes a problem if a person can’t separate them. Then we have a problem. I can acknowledge that my depiction of King David from the bible is not the same as from the original story and that he is horrible person towards women. If I couldn't acknowledge that, then its bad! The same goes for Antinous if someone makes an AU or headcanon about him. If someone want so make AUs about Antinous, my first thoughts isnt "Oh they like to SA ppl!". At the end of the day, this is just a group from tiktok who didn’t like a toxic ship and decided to bully an artist while acting like they have superior morals.

And I get this type of shit from christians when I make my queer bible interpitations, both from those that don't like the queer stuff but also those that points out that David and Jonathan were horrible ppl.

So I rarely answer comments like this because they usually end up spewing beliefs filled with homophobia and Islamophobia. Heck rasism sometimes, apparently, Christians don’t know that the Bible takes place in the Middle East, and they are angry at me for drawing them looking like Arabs! I just delete their comments before they gets there. Making queer biblical animatics on TikTok that go viral on the Christian side is not fun at all guys....

And hate to say it but tiktok Epic fans sound really similar. You are acting like you’re on a pedestal, holier than thou. Its just a different font.

+ I haven’t forgotten all those homophobic comments I got on my David/Jonathan animatic that I posted right after my Ruthlessness animatic. Epic fans were saying they didn’t want “that gay shit” and wanted to see more Epic stuff. Hate to break it to you all, but the Epic fandom isn’t that innocent.

[mickyschumacher]

[BAKED WITH LOVE!]

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you've never wanted to risk your friendship with oscar. but the lines become blurred when oscar shows up to your door on valentine's day with a bag of baking ingredients.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: fluff, poor humour, 10 things i hate about you reference, reader is kinda mean at the end but it's valid imo, oscar being absolutely useless in a kitchen format, classic friends to lovers barriers, confessions of two fools at the end as well

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: oscar piastri x fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 2.9k

𝐀/𝐍: first fic of my series! me 🤝 oscar's and friends to lovers. hope you enjoy it!♡︎ // as usual, poorly proofread

𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Valentine’s Day. Fact: One of the most dreaded holidays in the world. Fact: Your most dreaded holiday in the world.  

The argument was always the same. The holiday was consumeristic and materialistic at best, honing the potential to be one of capitalism’s best schemes. The holiday was also endearing, allowing couples, throuples, or any other romantic grouping, for that matter, to be celebrated and cherish. Love was love. And all love wins.  

In this argument, however, you were right smack bang in the middle.  

If you saw another stuffed teddy bear with its beady eyes and heart in hands, yes, you could throw up. But as much as you wanted to bleach your eyes out at the levels of PDA you had seen, a small part of you fawned over it.  

Truth be told, the only thing you hated was the fact that you weren’t experiencing any of it. Sure, there were times where you went on the occasional Valentine’s date (not that you recommended it) but nothing ever lasted. And to be honest, your heart wasn’t in it. Your heart, with a mind of its own, had decided it belonged with a certain friend of yours.  

You sighed, falling back first into your couch. You held your desk calendar high, eyeing the ‘14’ circled numerous times by you. Here you were, alone on Valentine’s Day, for the fourth year in a row, again.  

“Fucking hell,” you murmured, tossing the harbinger of devastation to the side.  

You looked around your apartment, only just holding in another sigh. It looked barren. Even though it was filled with paintings, books, and colourful furniture, nothing about it looked like someone was in love. It was as though it lacked soul.  

It was decided. You were having an absolutely miserable morning. Even more so when you could hear your doorbell ring. The static of your intercom buzzed, capturing your attention. “Hello? Is a certain girl obsessed with chocolate home?” A familiar voice sung.  

Pushing down the small flutter in your stomach, you dramatically groaned to the empty air in your apartment as you stood up. Walking over to your intercom, you eyed the video feedback of Oscar smiling and patiently waiting for you to let him in. You pressed the button on your intercom. “You better be coming bearing gifts.”  

You could see Oscar feign a gasp. “I can’t believe you even asked,” he stated, arm dangling a mystery bag in the air.  

You rolled your eyes, small smile playing on your lips. With your finger moving to a nearby button, you let him come up. Stalking back to your couch, you turned on your television, idly channel surfing. You weren’t quite sure why you were still playing for your TV box, but ever so occasionally, it brought you something charming.  

Your eyes moved to the open door of your apartment, watching Oscar come in from your peripheral. “What is it you want, you absolute cretin?” 

“That is not a kind thing to say on such a lovely day,” Oscar commented sarcastically, walking over to your kitchen to place his bag down.  

You rested your cheek on your hand, laying on your side as you moved your eyes between Oscar and the television. “Well... to be fair, I wasn’t expecting your face on what you call such a ‘lovely’ day,” you retorted, thumb still clicking on the remote.  

You weren’t exactly lying. Oscar was the last person you wanted to see on Valentine’s Day. He was another sore reminder of what you should be doing on a day like this. There was nothing more dangerous than having the person who makes your heart race in your kitchen. A recipe for disaster, one might say.  

It was Oscar’s turn to sigh. He stood in your kitchen, hands on his hips. “Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine?” Oscar queried. “Sue me for wanting to spend time with my best friend on the loneliest day of the year.” 

You sucked in a sharp breath at his words. Best friend. Ugh, you hated it. You hated that term. You didn’t want to be just his best friend. Risking this friendship, however, was not one you were willing to take.  

You sighed dramatically once again, closing the television. Standing up from the couch, you joined Oscar to peer in his mystery bag. Carefully, you were able to quickly recognise the blocks of butter, eggs, icing sugar, chocolate, sprinkles, brown sugar... 

“Are these baking ingredients?” You asked, looking over to Oscar.  

Oscar grinned. “I know you don’t really like Valentine’s, so... I thought we could do some baking. Well, more like if you could teach me. I’ve been craving your chocolate cupcakes anyways.” 

You blinked blankly. You weren’t sure how but your body felt warm all of a sudden. Your heart was beating just that bit faster.  

Oscar knew you loved baking. It was one of your love languages. When you were happy, when you were sad, when you were overthinking and stressed... baking was always the answer.  

“Oscar...” you started, “you know you don’t need an excuse to spend time with me, right?” 

“Come on! Like I need an excuse to spend time with you,” Oscar said, gently nudging his arm with yours. 

He laughed softly like the notion of your idea was crazy. Like your heart wasn’t beating uncontrollably. Like you weren’t forgetting the ability to breathe, let alone speak. And God, you hated it. 

You cleared your throat, taking out the ingredients he brought from the bag. “Well, it seems like you brought at least half of the ingredients so well done,” you complimented with a small grin.  

Laying out the items he brought, you began grabbing the rest from your pantry, collecting all the equipment needed on the way. 

Oscar smiled, cheeks slightly reddening. “Thanks,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck as he watched you set out everything, clearly taking his idea on board. He silently took in the sight of you quietly getting into your element.  

You looked so focused. He couldn’t hear what you were saying, probably something about the steps of making your cupcakes. And while he really should’ve been listening, he couldn’t help but fixate on your smile. The corners of your mouth upturned as you raved on about how your recipe was supposed to be a secret for a reason. He could see your smile in your eyes. You were happy. And God, he loved it.  

“Oscar? Helloooo... earth to Oscar?” You waved your hand in front of his face, your soft laugh slowly dying out as he came back to reality, meeting your eyes. You swallowed hard. Why was he looking at you like that? Did you have something on your face? 

Instinctively you reached out to find something but was met with relieving disappointment. “Uh, so as I was saying, the most important thing is to fill the cupcake liners halfway, okay? Not full. Halfway.” 

“Halfway,” Oscar affirmed with a small nod. He clasped his hands and placed them on your benchtop. “Shall we get started?” 

Time always seemed to fly by with Oscar. And yet it always felt slow in the best possible way. That was just the nature of spending time with him.  

You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself as he took every single one of your instructions with careful attention. And although earnest in his endeavours, Oscar was absolutely useless in a kitchen.  

“I said fold the mixture,” you complained, wincing at the lumpy brown goop of a mess, “That is not folding!” 

Oscar looked up from the bowl, narrowing his eyes at you. “This is folding,” he retorted, proceeding to mix the cupcake mixture aggressively.  

Before you knew it, bits of unbaked chocolate cupcake were flying in the air and over your face. The silence in your kitchen was deafening as the sound of Oscar resting the wooden spatula was resounding.  

With your eyes shut, you sighed in defeat. Your fingers reached out to smear the cake batter across your lips and into your mouth. “Well, at least I know it tastes good.” 

In the blink of an eye, Oscar grabbed the nearby tea towel, running it under some water. He stepped a bit too close to you for your liking. “I am so so sorry,” he apologised, gently propping your face in his hand as he slowly rubbed away the splotches of cupcake on your skin. 

You kept quiet. You silently watched him cautiously clean your face meticulously. You weren’t sure if you could trust yourself to speak. Especially not if Oscar was barely a few centimetres away from you.  

There were many things you admired about Oscar. His care for others. Or his detail to attention. Perhaps his smile that always seemed to brighten your day no matter what. Or the way he put others before himself. But one thing you always found yourself coming back to was his freckles. There weren’t many of them. They were sparsely spread out in such a way that you often found yourself playing connect the dots with them. And when you finished, it was all but inevitable to lose yourself in his eyes. To you, they were always these puppy brown eyes. But looking at him the way you were now... 

“Your eyes have a little green in them,” you whispered.  

Oscar paused, eyes flickering to meet yours. He stared at you what felt like forever. Every second that passed only increased your nerves. “Yeah?” He quietly quipped, voice soft as his eyes fell to your lips for a mere second.   

Your breath hitched. God, he was beautiful.  

“I–um, is the batter gone?” You asked, forcing yourself to avert your eyes. You let out a quick exhale as Oscar took a step back. 

“Oh yeah, sorry,” he mumbled, giving you a tight smile.  

Blowing some air into your cheeks, you eyed the cupcake-lined tray. “Should we fill these up and put them in the oven?” 

“Halfway,” Oscar reminded, agreeing nonetheless.  

━━━━━━━━━━━ 

You eyed Oscar comfortably lying on your couch, also participating in your channel surfing till how found some old cricket highlights of Australia vs Sri Lanka. You had already given him a cup of juice, some chips, and fruit to busy yourself and prevent yourself from overthinking about what happened earlier. However, you were beginning to find it very difficult.  

Even as you sat on the floor horizontal to Oscar and did your laundry like you often did, you couldn’t help but replay the moment in your head.  

You must’ve imagined Oscar looking at your lips. But you could’ve sworn... no. It must’ve been your mind playing tricks on you. The inescapable curse of Valentine’s Day. Fuck. Why did you even have to go and say he had green in his eyes? Stupid mouth.  

You internally sighed, placing your folded sweater on the pile next to you. Your ears perked at the mention of your name. “Hmm?” You queried, grabbing a pair of jeans to fold.  

Oscar looked over to you, leaning on his elbow. “I thought you were going out with Jake today?” 

Ah yes. The actual truth of why you were boarded up in your apartment on Valentine’s Day. You had come close to breaking your lonely streak but you ended up backing out after having a mid-life crisis. From your experience, any relationship formed on a day bounded to cupids was bound to be short-lived.  

“He cancelled and I agreed,” you shrugged, putting the jeans aside.  

Now this peaked Oscar’s interest, having him sit up fully on the couch. “What? Why? What happened?” He asked a little too happily, brows mended to express his confusion. 

Your mouth dried. What were you supposed to say? I just think Valentine’s Day brings perpetual doom?  

You chewed on your bottom lip before releasing a small sigh. “I just wasn’t interested anymore,” you told him truthfully, resting your back on the front side of your chair comfortably.  

“Why? You said he was nice and you had a lot in common?” Oscar reminded, now fully ignoring the cricket highlights.  

You hated the small lump in your throat, a reminder of how much you hated when Oscar was invested in your love life. It was like he wanted you to date anyone but him. And it sucked.  

“Yeah,” you agreed, “But he’s not...” 

“He’s not...?” Oscar repeated. 

He’s not you. That’s what you wanted to say.  

Instead, you looked at him silently, taking in how intently he was listening to you. It made your heart flutter with a warmness and constrict with a sadness simultaneously. He cared for you. Just not in the way you wanted.   

Oscar took your silence as a sign of not wanting to speak about it anymore. He sighed, sitting back into the couch. “Well, whatever. His loss. I’m glad you didn’t go.” 

And there it was again. Oscar was always going around saying things that made you think and feel otherwise. He was glad? That on the loneliest day of the year, you were here alone, baking with your best friend which you also happened to be a little in love with? 

"Oscar, why are you even here?” You asked, exasperation heavy in your voice as you looked at him tired eyes.  

Oscar furrowed his brows, leaning up at your tone. “What do you mean?”  

His tone wasn’t angry or humorous. It sounded like genuine confusion and that only irritated you that bit more.  

“I mean here. In my apartment on Valentine’s Day?” You stressed. “I mean, has it ever occurred to you that we’ve spent more Valentine’s Days together than actually being with the people we’ve dated?” 

Oscar pursed his lips together, mulling over your words. You were right. He couldn’t count the amount of Valentine’s or any other holiday he had spent with you on both hands let alone one. “What are you trying to say? You don’t like it?” 

Yes. In fact, you hated it. Every year, it always meant it was another day you spent being just friends with him. 

You let your head fall back onto the cushion of the couch. You stared hard at the ceiling, growing uncomfortable with the silence with every passing second. “I hate this,” you admitted after some time.  

“Hate what?” Oscar asked with a frown making its way onto his face. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear what he was about to hear. 

You swallowed hard. “I hate that I like you. A lot. I hate that I have to pretend not to like you every day.” 

The silence only grew louder and it was almost deafening. You felt sick. You regretted saying anything at all.  

“Same.” 

“What?” You jerked your head to Oscar with an incredulous expression and kneaded brows. “What type of shitty response is that?” 

Oscar looked at you with a flabbergasted look. “I...I–I feel the same way.” 

You blinked blankly at him, making him sigh. He stood up from the couch, taking a seat next to you on the floor.  

The hard yet soft look of Oscar’s puppy brown eyes made you want to look away and yet you found yourself staring back. He called your name softly, grabbing your hand gently with his. “I like you. More than you could ever imagine. I always just thought it would be stupid to risk our friendship so I tried pretending not to like you. That didn’t work. I actually think it made me fall in love with you. A little bit... or a lot.” 

You weren't quite sure how to respond. You seemed to have lost the ability to speak. All you could think about was how flushed and sweaty you felt... and that Oscar freaking Piastri was in love with you. 

“Can I kiss you?” Oscar murmured, leaning in ever so slowly.  

You nodded silently, not trusting yourself to speak yet again.  

You could feel his lips press against yours and God were they soft. You had thought about it more times than you probably should’ve. But the real thing was so much better. 

You moved your lips, returning his kiss as his hands travelled up your jaw to your cheek. Fire. Your skin was on fire. You were melting into his grasp upon the feel of his touch. And yet, goosebumps littered every inch of your skin, making you shudder.  

Hesitantly and unwillingly, you pulled apart from each other, letting your foreheads rest on each other. Your cheeks burned as you looked at Oscar, eyes flickering to each freckle before resting on the green in his eyes. “Osc,” you whispered.  

“Mmm?” He queried, playing with your hands softly as he watched you process everything.  

You planted a brief kiss to the corner of his lips. “I love you too.” 

Oscar smiled widely, shoulders falling as though all the weight on them had been relieved. “I’m glad,” he commented.  

“Sorry for being an asshole,” you mumbled sheepishly, a wave of embarrassment travelling over your body. You found it hard to believe you were even annoyed a couple minutes ago. 

He laughed softly, shaking his head. “It’s okay.” 

"I mean... for the record, I definitely wasn’t folding the batter,” Oscar admitted.  

“Ha! I knew it!” You exclaimed, hitting him lightly on the arm. “You mix like Basil digging up dirt.” 

Oscar’s small smile turned into a dramatic gasp. Preparing himself to attack you, he jokingly warned you, “Take that back.” 

Timed perfectly, you heard the timer on your phone ring throughout your apartment. The smell of chocolate muffins wafted in the air. You stood up from the floor and turned to Oscar with a wide grin. “Ready to decorate?” 

“As long as you let me decorate one cupcake,” he bargained, looking up at you as he held his hand out.  

You smiled, clasping his hand to pull him up. “Deal.” 

© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 

[tvgirlie24]

Not Enough pt.2

After that gruesome training session Alexia desperately tries to fix things between the two of you, you’re having none of it.

Angst (some fluff?)

part 1

The first thing that you felt upon regaining consciousness was an unbearable headache. You didn't think you've ever experienced anything like this. You were uncomfortable, in pain and overall just really confused. The last thing you could remember was someone telling you to keep your eyes open everything else was pretty much a haze. You've made the mistake of trying to open your eyes now, but you were immediately blinded by the intense light of the room and quickly closed them again. The rest of your senses were slowly coming back as well, as you could hear someone quietly talking close to you. There were more voices as well, but you couldn't quite tell who it was. You tried moving your arm as you could feel a needle poking your skin but the second you moved someone held your arm down.

"You're awake! Oh, thank god, you had us scared for a second." Ingrid? Again? Not that you expected anyone else really but even Ingrid being here with you was surprising enough. Despite knowing that she stood up for you yesterday it still didn't make sense why all of a sudden she was so interested in providing you support. Maybe she felt sorry for you?

"Uhh, what the fuck?" Your voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. 

"You passed out, like an hour ago, we were starting to consider taking you to the hospital if you didn't wake up. Do you not remember?"

"I just remember feeling really dizzy and that’s pretty much it."

"You should've said something if you didn't feel well you know, that was pretty irresponsible, you could've hurt yourself." Whilst you knew Ingrid’s scolding came from a place of worry you really didn’t appreciate her words right now. As if it was your fault. Partially yes, but no one stepped in when Alexia was taking it too far. No one stood up for you, and you were at fault? 

“As if me saying I didn’t feel good would’ve done anything.” You murmured and Ingrid gave you a sympathetic look. 

You slowly sat up, with the help of Ingrid and looked around. A physio was next to you, checking your vitals and on the other side of the room was the last person you wanted to see right now. Alexia, looking all guilty and it seemed as though she wanted to say something but kept changing her mind at the last minute. 

You got tired of waiting after she opened and closed her mouth for the fourth time. “What do you want?” You snapped.

“I, uh, I just-, I’m sorry, really, I didn’t mean to take it so far. I didn’t know you felt sick, If I did I-“ 

“You would have done the exact same thing, we both know that.” You interrupted, not really interested in hearing any of her excuses.

“What? No! No, really-“

“Are you sure? You’re saying that if I came up to you and said I’m not feeling well, you wouldn’t have told me that I’m just slacking off?” You asked, though you already knew what the answer would be. 

Nothing, no response. Just as you thought.

“Thought so. I really don’t understand what your problem is. I would understand if you just had some doubts about me, everyone does, I’m used to it. But you have absolutely no reason to hate me and I’m really fucking tired of it. I do everything that I can and yet you always have something to complain about. I’ve had enough of this, I don’t want to do this anymore. I fucking heard you yesterday. I know you think I don’t belong here, I know you think I’m not good enough, but fuck you didn’t even give me an actual chance and I’m sick of it. I don’t fucking deserve this.” You didn’t even realize that tears were streaming down your face or that with each sentence you voice kept getting louder and louder until you were practically screaming in her face but you didn’t care. It felt nice to let it out, all of the frustration you have felt for the past couple of weeks. She kept taking her frustration out on you, now it was you turn. 

She was about to say something but you had no interest in hearing what she was about to say. Whatever she was about to tell you would never warrant her behavior towards you. 

“No, I’m not doing this right now, I’m leaving.“ You stood up abruptly and felt yourself get dizzy again, Alexia reached out her arms to steady you but you quickly steadied yourself and walked past her to the physio. 

“Get it out.” You said while giving him your arm, where an IV was administered, but the physio didn’t move and just looked hesitantly at you.

“Get it out or I’m going to rip it out of my arm myself, I don’t care, your way or my way, you choose.” You barked out. You knew you were being unfair, and unnecessarily mean, the man didn’t do anything to you. But you were so angry with the whole world right now that you couldn’t care less about who was on the receiving end of your outburst. You needed to get it out and most importantly you needed to leave, if being harsh meant you could get out of there sooner then you had no problem being a bitch. For once you just didn’t care. 

The man grabbed your arm and carefully pulled out the IV from your vein, while staring at you very disapprovingly but you didn’t give him a chance to say something, quickly turning around and gathering your things.

“You should have someone drive you, it’s not safe for you to drive yet.” Spoke out the man, despite knowing you were probably not going to listen to him. 

“I’ll be fine.” You dismissed. 

“I can dri-“ Tried saying Alexia but you didn’t even let her finish the sentence, too worked up to let her finish.

“No, there’s no way in hell I’m getting into a car with you Alexia. I would rather crash my car into a building.” 

“Then I’ll drive you.” Offered Ingrid but before you could refuse, she started talking again. 

“Really, please, let me give you a ride, I’ll have María pick me up. I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to drive.” She pleaded and you were too tired to argue with her. “Okay, fine, whatever.” And with that you walked out of the room, with Ingrid closely behind you. Not sparing Alexia a single look.

The ride home didn’t take too long, despite having to give Ingrid instruction, given that you lived pretty close anyway. A fact, which you were grateful for because you physically couldn’t wait for the moment you lied down on your bed. This also meant that it didn’t take Mapi too long to pick up Ingrid, not that you weren’t enjoying her company, but right now you were much too eager to finally get some rest, so when you saw her pull up in your driveway you quickly hugged Ingrid goodbye and shut your front door, leaving both women standing outside confused.

You didn’t do anything else for the rest of the day, still not feeling too well, but also so mentally drained that all you could do was just bury yourself under blankets and order you favorite take out after taking a much needed shower, finally somewhat content after the horrendous day you just had. And as you were slowly falling asleep you couldn’t help but wonder if the rest of your stay in Barcelona would be like this. Hopeless and miserable, filled with unpleasant trainings and you questioning why you even came here in the first place. 

__________________________________________

When you woke up the following day you could feel dread completely consuming your whole body. You were terrified of going to training today, but there was no way you could skip training when you were scheduled to be starting in the match tomorrow. Physically you felt okay, you were rested and the dizziness and headache from yesterday were gone. But mentally you were everything but okay. You didn't know what to expect but each second you were becoming more of a nervous wreck. You didn’t know what today would be like and that was what freaked you out the most.

Walking in wasn't any better, everyone was nice but you haven't had to chance to see the one person you dreaded seeing the most, but it appears as though luck was on your side today because you ended up not seeing Alexia all the way to the locker room. Strangely enough the only two people that were there were Ingrid and Mapi. You greeted them quietly and started changing, not saying anything else but as you sat down on the bench to tie your shoelaces you noticed just how hard your hands were shaking. You let out a frustrated huff when even on your third try you still couldn't manage to tie your laces. It was irrational, the way tears started to cloud your vision but you were overwhelmed with every negative emotion that there is and all of a sudden even a simple thing like inability to tie your shoes has immediately put you on the edge. 

Just as you were about to try again someone appeared in front of you, but you refused to raise your head and let whoever it was see just how much of a mess you were. 

"Need a hand?" Ingrid asked gently. At this point you should've expected it would be her. So far, she's been the only one to offer you any support. But through your life you've only ever been met with a cold shoulder, so anyone being there for you just wasn't something you were used to. You don't think this is something you will ever get used to. 

"No thanks, I got it." You actually didn't, but it was easier to struggle alone, it's all you've ever known. No one ever taught you how to accept help, constantly reminding you to not rely on anyone.

"Let me help, please." She asked again. And as much as you wanted to refuse, you didn't have it in you. So, you just pulled away and let her tie your shoes, like a little kid but you were way past the point of caring. You still kept your head down, not wanting her to see you crying. 

"There you go, hey, hey, what's going on?" 

"No, no it's nothing don't worry, i'm fine." You said frantically trying to dry your tears, though unsuccessfully.

"Look, you don't have to tell me, but you don't need to lie to me, I can see you're not fine." With how gentle she was being it was basically impossible for you not to tell her. You couldn't remember the last time someone spoke to you like this, maybe, when you were a kid and your mom was comforting you after you fell from your bike, but even that memory didn’t  feel as warm as this. So, you decided to open up to her, just a little, even if everything in you told you not to. 

"I'm just freaking out a little. These past few training sessions have been hell and I just, I guess I'm just nervous. I really don't want to mess up again." You admitted, already regretting saying anything at all but Ingrid just gave you a soft smile, lightly squeezing your leg, offering you a bit of comfort.

"Hey, no don't say that, you haven't messed up anything."

"That's not what Alexia thinks." You murmured. "It doesn't matter what she thinks." She argued.

"But it does, she's the captain." You argued weakly, because it did, it would always matter what she thought. And if she thought you were not worth being here, then everything was doomed.

"Look, she will come around I promise. And especially after yesterday I don't think she's going to be so harsh anymore." She kept trying to convince you and you weren't sure if it was because she was actually speaking the truth or because she was just trying to calm you down. "I'm having a really hard time believing you, to be honest."

"I get it but I promise, it's going to be okay, really."

"Thank you. Again. You've really been saving my ass these past few days." Both of you let out a small laugh at that. 

"You don't have anything to thank me for, really. I'm just being a decent human being." 

"Trust me, that's more than I usually get. So, I appreciate it, and you." She gave you a sad smile at that. You didn't mean to sound so depressing, but that's how it was. You really didn't feel like sugarcoating the truth just for the sake of not sounding like a complete loser. 

You didn't say anything afterwards and neither did Ingrid, she just offered you a hand and helped you stand up. She kept her hold on your hand and slowly pulled you in for a hug. You froze momentarily, not really expecting it, but quickly relaxed and hugged her back. 

"I know you've had it tough and I'm really sorry about it, but I'm here for you, for anything you need. I know what it feels like when you think you're all alone, but I promise you're not, at least not anymore." Tears clouded your vision again but for an entirely different reason now. God you really were a wreck today. You didn't trust yourself to speak so you just squeezed her harder, hoping that she understands your gratitude. 

__________________________________________

You wouldn't say you were necessarily calm after your conversation with Ingrid, but at least you were not on the verge of a complete breakdown anymore, so that's a win. That changed the second you saw Alexia approach you. From experience you knew not to expect anything good from her, so her next words left you completely speechless. 

"Are you feeling okay?" She asked simply, her face not giving you any indication of what she was thinking. Out of all the things she could've said to you, you really didn't expect her to care about how you were feeling. So, you just stared at her, not knowing what to say. She raised her eyebrows though, silently telling you that she was expecting an answer.

"Uhm, I-, yeah, I'm fine." You stuttered, internally cursing yourself for sounding like a complete idiot. She didn't didn't say anything else, just giving you a faint nod that was barely noticeable before turning around and leaving.

The beginning of the training was all formalities, and you were pretty much spaced out until you all started running laps, not really paying attention to anything else, but just as you were about go run the extra laps that Alexia always orders you to, you could hear her shouting. 

"What are you doing?" She asked sternly and you braced yourself for another scolding. You didn't know what you've done wrong, again, but you were definitely not about to argue with her.

"Uhh, I'm about to run the extra lap? Like always?" You said, rather hesitantly, not really knowing what to expect next. 

"No, it's okay, you don't have to, go stretch." She replied and you gave her a simple nod, absolutely flabbergasted.

Since you came here, she always ordered you to run extra laps, to repeat the drills, her telling you not to felt way too weird. For a second you wondered if it was a joke, or if she just went crazy, because this was not the Alexia you knew. But she kept on surprising you today, because each time you were about to do something she kept on stopping you, reminding you to take it easy and repeatedly asking you if you felt okay. 

You were confused at first, not understanding what her point was at all. But that confusion quickly started turning into anger, why did she decide to be nice to you now? She could've been nice to you this whole time and she would've saved both of you a lot of trouble. Why did it take you passing out for her to come to her senses and actually start treating you like a human? So, the next time you heard her tell you to slow down you really had to bite your tongue because you got dangerously close to telling her to fuck off. You were positively furious, your blood was boiling and you kept having to remind yourself to stay calm. 

Breaking point came when she handed you a bottle of water that you could’ve easily gotten yourself, a simple innocent gesture. Under any other circumstances you would’ve just said thank you, but in this very moment that was the last thing you wanted to say. You hated it, how all this time you wanted her to treat you like a human and that’s what she was doing, yet it was only driving you crazy, and against your better judgement you ended up snapping at her.

“Okay I really don’t understand what you’re trying to achieve today, but it is driving me insane. You mind explaining to me what the fuck you’re doing?” You snapped with a frown on your face and you could see the colour draining from her face as she looked as you as though she has seen a ghost.

“I-, uhm, I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you know, after yesterday and you know…” she trailed off, awfully shy for someone who was yelling in your face less than 24 hours ago. 

“Well, I’m fantastic of course! How do you think I’m doing? I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be around you and I certainly don’t want you making sure I’m fine! It’s too late for it now, I don’t care if you feel guilty it’s your own fault Alexia! You don’t get to treat me like a piece of shit and then act all nice hoping that will make up for it.”

Maybe if you weren’t so angry you would’ve felt a bit sorry for her because she truly looked like a kicked puppy after that little outburst. But she didn’t say anything and with a scoff you turned around and left. You didn’t even bother changing, just slumping your bag over your shoulder and escaping to your car as fast as you could. You were lucky you left a bit early and the parking lot was still empty, otherwise everyone would’ve seen and heard the yell you let out once you got into the car. 

That woman really is going to be the death of you. 

__________________________________________

So, the match really didn’t end up that well for you. You ended up winning 3-1 so it wasn’t that much of a disaster for the team, but your performance today was less than good. You were all over the place, but never where you were needed, completely missing passes and none of your shots came even close to a goal. It was painful to watch and you really weren’t surprised when you came off in the 63rd minute. You couldn’t stick around and keep watching it, too angry with yourself so you immediately went inside to take a shower, hoping that a nice cold shower might calm down not just your body but also your mind. 

Once you got out of the shower you could tell that the game was over since some of the players were already inside while some stayed out on the pitch. You hoped to have a bit more time to pull yourself together before everyone would come pouring in. The shower did absolutely nothing to help you and once you started crying there was no way you would be able to stop. Maybe Alexia was right, maybe everything really was just handed over to you and maybe you really weren’t that good. 

You tried to avoid everyone’s stares while you took your bag and excused yourself, leaving the locker room and hoping to find some quiet place to cry it all out. You tried several doors, most of them locked but you managed to stumble open a door that was unlocked and once you opened it you could see it was just a small conference room, abandoned a long time ago given how empty it was. So, you threw your bag and the floor and made a beeline for the corner, slumping down and burying your head in your knees, trying to make yourself as small as possible. The first sob you let out was rough, so rough it actually hurt, but it felt way so good to finally let it out. You cried so hard that you could feel your whole body shake, and each second it was becoming harder and harder to breath.

You completely forgot to keep a track of time, knowing that you were due to leave soon, but in that moment that was the least of your worries. All of a sudden, you could hear someone open the door but you refused to raise your head, much too comfortable in your little bubble, so you couldn’t tell who it was.

Please be Ingrid, please let it be Ingrid.

“Hey..” 

Oh God, no.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Alexia tried again after she got no response from you. 

“Go away.” You pleaded but instead of turning around she just got closer and on instinct you tried to push yourself closer to the wall to create more space between you. “No please, please go away, please I don’t want you here.” 

She didn’t go away, instead she slowly lowered herself onto the ground until she was sitting in front of you, not too far but not too close, which you appreciated. If she were to disturb your personal space in your current state you would probably just freak out even more. 

“Please, tell me what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” She asked softly, you’ve never heard her speak like that, let alone to you, but you didn’t let that break you. “No, please, just let me be.” You cried, even harder, wanting her to get away from you as soon as possible.

“I will, once you tell me what’s wrong.” She didn’t get a response from you, all that could be heard in the quiet room was your ragged breathing.

“Is this about the game? Is that why you’re so worked up?” She kept her voice gentle, and it made it hard to keep ignoring her, but you weren’t quite ready to talk to her yet. So, all that she got in response was just a whine, one that resembled an agreement. 

“Look I get it, no one likes bad days, but they’re a part of what we do, we can’t have a perfect performance all the time, as much as we want to. It is not the end of the world, I promise.” She tried to comfort you, not realizing she was doing the exact opposite.

“It is when everyone around you thinks that you don’t deserve to be a part of the team and you constantly have something to prove, then it pretty much is the end of the world.” Your voice was rough and you looked like a mess but you still raised your head as you spoke, wanting her to understand that the biggest reason why you were crying was her own doing. You didn’t necessarily feel secure at Barça before, but it definitely wasn’t as bad as it is now, and it was mostly Alexia’s fault. 

She frowned, thinking about what to say next. 

“Look, I’m sorry, I really am. I was an arrogant asshole and I took it too far, but none of what I said is true. I did think it was but I don’t anymore and I don’t want you thinking it’s true. It is not, you deserve to be here, okay?” 

“But that’s not what you thought 3 days ago.” You murmured, Alexia barely hearing you.

“No, it’s not. But a person that gets everything handed to them doesn’t train until they actually pass out, you know.” Again, no response from you, but she refused to give up. At least now your sobbing subsided to just small hiccups.

“I know I messed up, and I will forever feel sorry about it, but I don’t want you to doubt whether you deserve to be here or not. You do, you work hard and I didn’t see it then, but I see it now, okay?” Alexia said firmly, and it was hard not to believe her, with how gently but convincingly she was speaking. “Okay.” 

She gave you a soft nod and slowly stood up, offering you a hand and even though you felt like you shouldn’t, you accepted her help. She carefully helped you stand up, holding you up when you wobbled a little from your legs falling asleep. 

“Come on, they’re all probably waiting for us.” She gave your hand a light squeeze and let go and you followed her out of the room.

All of a sudden you didn’t feel like the world was ending, everything that was going on now seemed almost manageable and you walked out of that room with a small, barely noticeable smile on your face.

__________________________________________

Yaaay I finally finished the second part🥳 Sorry for the delay I wanted to get this out over 2 weeks ago, but I hope you liked it anyway :)

@marvelwomen-simp