#expanding on a post i made about a year ago where i said it's obvious a lot of people don't really like orym

[cringefaecompilation]

the trouble with bias is that you'll always have a blind spot. sometimes it's fine. it’s okay if it's a good bias against bad people. everyone tells you that you're doing the right thing.

(i know they'd be real proud of you.)

but what is a bad person? obviously, it's someone who hurts people for fun. so anyone who does that is bad. unless… they were just defending themselves. then we shouldn't get too caught up in philosophy and semantics!

(his name was cyrus.)

i mean, they're good to you! they listen to you, even when you don't pray! they said they were sorry, right? why else would they listen to a nonbeliever if not out of the kindness of their hearts?

(the only time they've ever spoken to me was the one who tried to fucking kill me less than a week ago)

maybe it's just you. you are a useful weapon. savior blade. melora's chosen. the hag's latest bargain. you know how to fight, how to win, how to strike exactly where it hurts.

(you’re right. why should i rely on a darker power?)

you know that if the time comes, you have plans to take down everyone. but you’d never do it. those are your friends. and you won’t let it get that far. but if it does…

(…i think i hurt her.)

then you let them hit first. it's not right that they're getting hurt, that's not what they signed up for. they're not soldiers! their lives deserve to be more than just power grab after power grab to get ahead! they should have futures to look forward to and be happy with themselves!

(it's good to feel useful.)

but what about you? what do you have left?

(see you soon.)

[solradguy]

asking this off anon since it’s p obvious who’s asking, but what are your thoughts on asuka? obvs you think he got off light with sol but do you overall think he was mishandled in the story/dislike him as a character?

As a villain he's awesome.

When they established the core of his character/backstory in Overture, they had him almost like a sympathetic villain. If you read between the lines, there were events where the only choice Asuka could have made were ones that were going to paint him as a raw bastard to the rest of society, with the biggest one being the Black Sunrise when he overrode Justice to blow up Japan to keep the Universal Will from manifesting (and making humanity go extinct, probably).

His options were either to override Aria's control over her own body or to try to convince her to do it herself, which she may not have been able to do in time because trying to convince someone to wipe out 99% of a country of people is a hard thing to do lol It sucks for the characters, but as far as writing goes it's awesome. It's a complex choice, and complex choices tell a lot about a character.

He did something similar with Frederick when he put the Flame of Corruption in him. Asuka knew that he was going to lose control over the Gear cell research (implied at the end-ish of Begin) and needed something on the outside to deal with it once that research inside got out of hand (which it did—Crusades). He also needed to somehow keep the FoC away from the Scales of Juno because of the risk of an Absolute World (mass extinction event). Asuka very probably could have convinced Frederick to accept being infected with the FoC but he didn't even try, he just did it.

Asuka had hundreds of chances across the timeline of Guilty Gear to try to explain things to Sol and he never does until the very end of Strive. Of course, Sol probably wouldn't have listened to him anyway because, as far as he knew, Asuka killed/did something awful to his fiancée, betrayed him, and turned him into a supernova barely caged inside a human form. But he could have at least tried. Asuka is complex as hell, and it's fascinating how GG has managed to pull that off.

Until roughly Xrd. And it got worse in Strive.

I don't know what the decision there was. It's like the foundation for an Asuka redemption arc was being put down before they just went and dropped the whole house on it anyway. They needed him to still be a bit of a villain, but they wanted to start wrapping up the Sol/Asuka threads at the same time and it just isn't doing it, imo. Like I said in my reply on that other post, the FoC stuff between Sol and Asuka has been brewing since Missing Link, 25 years ago, and they "resolved" it in a less than 10 minute scene that was in the middle of another scene where the Earth was about to be blown up by God!I-No at the climax of the entire Strive story itself.

Sol's in-game lines about wanting to beat up Asuka and beating him up in honor of Aria confirm that Sol's still mad at him, but... man.... I want to believe they're going to loop back around and expand on all that a bit more later because right now it's a massively disappointing end to Sol's biggest story arc and to Asuka's character as a whole.

Asuka knows he fucked up, Sol knows it, the rest of the world still knows it too. They can't just be like "and then Asuka went to the moon and everyone forgave him because he helped a bit with some stuff." Fingers crossed Sol's planning something with that rocket in his backyard at Iseo. Even if it's just to go up to the moon and monologue at Asuka.

[izicodes]

do you have any advice for someone who kinda "failed" to break into tech and is still in the medium-level for learning. i feel like i've spent so much time (years) on this but haven't made much progress. how do i really get into it and stay in it? love your blog btw. i'm tempted to start one of my own but my projects are a mess and ugly 😭

I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you haven't made much progress in breaking into tech. It's important to remember that everyone's journey is different, and it's never too late to start or improve. But then again, you have spent years learning and you want to into the tech industry.

The obvious advice would be don't give up. My dad has been studying to get into Cybersecurity since the early 90s and he just got into the industry this year. He never gave up - family to look after and he could study like the other students in his university course because the large majority of them were single 18-22-year-olds who their only responsibility is themselves. Don't give up and don't compare yourself to other people.

You've got to look at what has been holding you back. Health issues, work issues, money? Can't study full-time or even part-time if you need to pay the bills.

Even if you can, are you consistent with your studying? We all know consistency is key. Studying for one week but don't study for 2-3 weeks won't work. I know the type of learner I am - if I don't code or study every day, even just for 30 minutes, then my tendency to procrastinate will increase a lot and it'll all go downhill from there.

Know your strength - build on the skills you are good at. Believe it or not, I know a developer I met in a discord server who only uses HTML, CSS, and JavaScript to build websites and webpage themes for clients as a freelancer and he's doing really well. It's because he realised that he's really good at those three basic languages and he worked really hard to excel at them. Expand on what you know best.

On the flip side, you could look at job postings around where you live or nationally in your country and see what skills/languages/technologies they ask for the most for hiring developers. Example: I live in the UK and a couple of months ago when I was actively looking for a new Frontend Dev job, I saw that Vue.js, React.js, and PHP (besides the usual HTML, CSS, and JavaScript) were asked for the most. If I wanted those jobs, I would learn those technologies, create a few projects to showcase my knowledge in them, and start applying. That could be one way to break into the industry.

Another way would be certificated. Bootcamps, online courses, or in-person courses like university or community colleges. Yes, they say that you don't always need a university degree to get into tech but some kind of education you've gone through that is tech-related e.g. Google courses or the Frontend Dev course that Meta is providing (paid). My colleague completed a computer science degree but he then did a bootcamp and he completed and that's how he landed the job where I work. So even graduates are getting further education. If you can't afford the massive fees, Udemy is a great place to get courses. And don't be shy with the Havard CS50 course videos they have on YouTube - free and you get a certificate free as well!

The advice I give might not work if you haven't identified why after all these years you haven't gotten your foot into the tech industry. This is no way intended to be rude, but if another person who had the same amount of time you studied, and they have gotten a tech job in that time, what makes you different? Goes back to what I said about the things that are holding you back. Some of the reasons are inevitable like health but you need to keep making that effort!

If you need help, you need to ask. Find a mentor or support group. Having someone to guide and encourage you can be incredibly helpful. Look for a mentor or join a support group where you can connect with others who are also learning and growing in tech. You can search for them online, some people offer advice for CV/Resume help or real "getting into tech" advice on places like Fiverr or Upwork or just google for some consultants online. They would cost obviously but if you're really struggling, this might help. After completing bootcamps, they tend to help you get your first job etc so they might be worth considering!

The last bit of advice is do you have a portfolio? No no, like a proper one where you feel confident enough to give to family members, friends, and potential employers? No? Either learn to build one (free of charge) or hire someone to build it for you (costs money) A portfolio is a great way to showcase your skills and projects to potential employers. Even if your projects feel messy or ugly, focus on highlighting what you learned and what you accomplished.

Obviously, I gave hints of advice more towards Frontend Dev because that's what I know more of but you can alter the advice to whatever niche in programming you're into. Remember, breaking into any field takes time and effort. Stay motivated and focused on your goals, and don't be afraid to reach out for help or support when you need it. Good luck!

** I'm not the best at giving advice but I hope this helps 💗

[radiantlyrey]

Thoughts on Uprising Episode 5, Identity

- Beck continuing the trend of getting into trouble with Wrong Place, Wrong Time stuffs. poor kid…

- love that Tron is in this episode more, being the same Grouch as always.

- the disc theft is……. Interesting. We know from Legacy that there is such thing as a forged disc (Zuse mentions it in the list of things Sam needs to get to the Portal); perhaps stolen discs is where those come from? And stray programs are mentioned in Legacy as well, though not expanded upon. Honestly, TRON is FULL of Unexplained Worldbuilding Things that I would give my right hand to know. UGH

- stray programs are such an interesting concept. Like the disc is the program, apparently?? It’s like…. well actually thinking about it, it makes sense?? Kind of???? The program is made of fairly basic code; the disc holds that code and its log of activities, while the body is just a physical manifestation of the code itself. Unlike Users/humans, whose code is an inherent part of them/us, and thus can’t be memory-wiped by swiping an activity log. It’s interesting as fuck, is what I’m saying. Like the philosophical implications of the program being the disc and not the physical person—so Interesting!!!!!

- also the glitches are scary as Fuck. One moment you know what’s going on and then the next you don’t know anything?? Terrifying. And well portrayed by the episode, too, with the fisheye effect on Beck’s closeups and the general blurriness from his PoV.

- could have sworn Cobol was voiced by Ron Perlman, but it was some person I’ve not heard of instead. Doing one heck of a Perlman impression, tbqh.

- Lux is EXTREMELY INTERESTING TO ME. Siren who’s gotten caught up in the black market?? INTERESTING. Also she’s a whole hell of a lot more principled than Cobol, because when she sees Tron it’s like everything changes for her. Also the shaved head is just badass looking.

- meanwhile, a three scene B plot with Zed and Mara!! That took up like six minutes of episode time. Like okayyyyy. Turns out I didn’t need to be so worried about Zed joining the anti-Renegade taskforce, because it turns out Mara kind of guilted him into doing the right thing!!! Good for him I guess.

- Also someone commented on my last commentary post that Bartik here and Bartik in Legacy are the same character/program, and uh. Wonder how THAT happens, because damn. How does one go from happily helping Clu’s forces to hoping a revolution against Clu can be sparked into existence???? Color me intrigued as fuck.

- love Tron’s comments about Beck being his friend at the end there. Especially the bit about trusting someone as a friend and being betrayed, bc from what I know of later episodes, that could be like three different programs!!!! (Clu, like Beck assumes; Dyson I have heard was a friend turned enemy; and then Cyrus as well!! Again I have not watched the whole series and my last dip in was 10 years ago, but from what Discussion I have seen I am making some Assumptions.) also love the comment that he “made the right choice this time”, because that is just dripping with implications that I imagine pay off in future episodes…..

- other details: Purgos as the name of the black market district is interesting, with the obvious name tie to Xtian (or at least Catholic) Purgatory; wonder what the creators meant for us to take from that… // Galt was an interesting one off character; total sleazeball of course, but interesting nonetheless // ngl when they were surrounded by all of Cobol’s goons, I was kinda cackling because like. It’s Tron. Even scarred all to hell he’s gonna kick most of y’all’s asses.

- I am probably gonna watch this episode again with captions on so I can get helpful juicy deets for my TRON horror story fic idea. I gotta do some brainstorming on stuffs tonight for sure.

- that said the brainstorming might have to wait bc the next episode has Paige Backstory and also QUORRA sooooooooo…….. yeah

[liskantope]

Exactly, @self-winding!

And @postsforposting's response has a lot of useful insights that I'm going to be suggesting (and which I'm inclined to agree with, although I could pick out issues with a couple of particular minor things you mentioned like implying that ED is a form of asexuality, and I can't quite parse something you said about autism). The main reason I want to amplify your response is that it lends insight into (possibly) why a certain class of conditions have become held up by a certain subculture as Not Unfortunate By Any Objective Standard and Not To Be Cured, while others haven't.

This all comes back to the social model of disability, of course.

I'm actually very emotional about the "other side is trying to kill trans people" thing. I've never expanded on why, and I don't know how much it shows in my writing. The people who say that thing are clearly very emotional as well, for the very obvious and understandable reason that people tend to be emotional when they're convinced that a large swath of the population actively wants them dead. But anyway, the night before last, I and a non-mutual got ourselves and each other a bit riled up in the reply section of this post and another one, each clearly very frustrated by the end, and while I was trying to fall asleep that night I was seriously contemplating making a short-ish new OP which would say roughly the following thing uncharacteristicly bluntly and harshly (not fully endorsed, and adorned with some qualifications and content warnings before and after):

Conservatives are correct that there is some new, main poisonous ideology afflicting the Left, but they're wrong about what it is, and I'm not sure they're even properly aware of the actual ideology existing and the nature of how it's confusing people. The poisonous ideology is... the social model of disability.

(Or rather, a sort of simplistic Very Online pop version of it, because I'm pretty sure there are plenty of ideas in the actual nuanced scholarship surrounding the social model of disability that do have merit: what I'm attacking is the absolutist idea that viewing conditions/traits/disabilities falling into a certain class as inherently unfortunate is a form of bigotry and essentially indistinguishable from other forms of bigotry, including genocidal beliefs.)

I don't believe that fallacious reasoning of the form "X people want this policy which I believe will get Y people killed" ==> "X people actively want Y people dead" or "X people want Y people to no longer have condition Y" ==> "X people want to exterminate all people with condition Y (because I know it's impossible for people with condition Y to stop having condition Y)" comes directly from the social model of disability: rather, the fallacy mostly follows directly from a failure to exercise Theory of Mind, and to some extent from a different fallacy I don't know the name for (but have intended to write about for years) where someone confuses [existence of a person with a particular trait] with [existence of a particular trait in a person]. But I believe that being profoundly steeped in the mentality that comes with (this pop version of) the social model of disability seriously has the potential to dull one's ability to overcome the two fallacies I just mentioned.

And I should mention that failure to use Theory of Mind is a widespread issue that's probably as old as time (feeling acutely aware of it from the age of around 12 is what I consider the main formative event that made me into an (aspiring) rationalist), whereas the version of the social model of disability that I'm complaining about is quite new, as in it wasn't really visible to me as recently as a decade ago outside of being aware that some in the deaf community wanted their kids to be or remain deaf (and dismissing that attitude as absolutely bonkers at the time).

As for the pop social model of disability itself, I never examined that closely what might be driving it; I always assumed it was a matter of the Left wanting to not only remove blame from the individual (this is what I call low-agency-ism and have thought extensively about) but also remove blame from nature or The Universe Being Unfair, so as to put all of the blame for what harm comes from someone's condition/disorder on Society.

But postsforposting, your analysis goes much deeper, better addresses why certain conditions/disabilities fall into the Wanting To Cure Them Is Bigotry category while certain others don't, and while not necessarily the actual primary correct explanation is certainly one worth considering.

I think part of the reason I tend to get so argumentative nowadays about "what your side proposes kills people" -type political talking points is that it seems that this is being used more and more frequently as a rhetorical bludgeon, mainly (though not entirely) from the Left. There's a lot of shutting down of arguments based on "but HUMAN LIVES", and it's begun to feel to me like a disturbing trend. For instance, a good bit of the rhetoric in favor of shutting down schools in 2020-2021 seemed to center on "here, look at my computation that the expected value of children's lives lost if we don't shut down schools is greater than zero; anyone who disagrees with us doesn't VALUE HUMAN LIVES", with the effect that a lot of us (including to some extent me) were blinded for a long time to the absolutely devastating effect such extensive school shutdowns (in some geographic areas) had on children and their whole families, an effect that is still scarring them today. I'm not saying anything about whether or how far those school shutdown policies went wrong, just that they had very substantial harmful effects that don't vanish relative to the VALUE OF HUMAN LIVES.

Then there's the now-everyday claim that the anti-trans culture warriors "ARE KILLING US [TRANS PEOPLE]", which is true under a particular interpretation of "killing" and tragically true to an extent pretty well beyond some vanishingly rare extreme cases but is also transparently being used to drown out most other aspects of the debates around trans issues. Much more disturbing still is the accusation I now semi-regularly see casually flung that conservatives "actively want us [trans or LGBT+ people in general] dead" (I think I've occasionally seen left-wing variations on this that aren't even about LGBT+ people). A couple of months ago I called it "stomach-turning" ("it" being both the content of the accusation itself and the fact that so many people in our cultural discourse have seen fit to use it; this of course was semi-willfully misinterpreted by someone as my saying that trans people turn my stomach), and I reiterate now that it's still completely turning my stomach. This example is different from others in some fundamental ways, some of which make me more sympathetic with why people feel driven to use it (and it's not being used to drown out completely unrelated issues, for instance, like the guns thing is), and the general rhetorical weapon of "the other side wants to kill us" deserves its own effortpost which I intend to write later this summer.

So anyway, yeah, I'm also getting a kind of short fuse around insinuations of "what they show kids in school won't kill them, but guns could, so that's the only issue involving schoolchildren that anyone should care about" that I now see daily.

Of course, invocations of "my cause is the one whose stakes directly involve life or death so it outranks everything else" isn't exclusive to the Left at all. The Right has been doing it for decades with abortion to shut down both the abortion debate and whatever unrelated debate they didn't want to have ("millions of babies are being MURDERED each year, while liberals obsess over [women's bodies] [or] [just about any totally unrelated issue which appears frivolous next to MURDER]"). I also vaguely remember something that sounded like this in the post-9/11 years ("we're the ones looking out for Americans who might be KILLED in the next terrorist attack, that has to be the only priority right now"). And there was that bizarre "death panels" accusation around 2010-2011 when Obamacare was being debated which I guess might also count.

Only loosely related, but I'm reminded of a moment in the very first vice presidential debate, between Bob Dole and Walter Mondale in 1976, where Dole invoked a computation of the number of deaths in wars the US engaged in under Democratic versus Republican presidents, and apparently he got a lot of blowback from how underhanded this rhetorical move came across.

[spacejellyfish3]

the utena show’s ending is extremely powerful on its own yes but utena’s final apology? to anthy of not being able to be her prince in the end never stuck right with me. and I think that’s cause in a sense it’s still centering the prince as important, as aspirational, that maybe it could have been a better ending for them—that utena could’ve survived if she were her prince. and of course I might be reaching with that possibly probably but I still wanted to air that opinion out (maybe someone else has similar misgivings as I do and can expand on it so there).

but the real problem for me is that show anthy still very much places utena as a savior figure, as her “prince”. while I live for anthy’s savage verbal takedown of akio as a powerless coward trapped in a Sisyphean game of pretend for all eternity but even so she herself is still shown to subscribe to the dogma of the heroic prince. even visually anthy’s idealization of utena is displayed with her dressed in pink. this visual marker is carried over into the movie with anthy’s bridal gown changing from red (which makes sense since anthy is indian coded and an indian bride’s sari is traditionally red) to white and pink, connoting her as utena’s princess.

movie anthy’s placement of utena onto a pedestal of princehood also often extends beyond subtext and into the text itself, a key example being the scene right before utena’s famed car wash makeover where anthy says “you’re the prince of the academy now, every miracle and all eternity is yours…so long as you stay in this world.” anthy believes that you can only exercise power, have power, be happy, be free within the system, and it’s important to note that there is very much truth in that notion but this power I’m referring to is that of self actualization, the power of maturity. yet…utena rejects that noise, she says no, she says fuck that let’s go be free in the outside world.

if the show is about breaking away from the confines of abuse, then the movie is about breaking away from the confines of trauma. it’s extremely powerful when anthy takes the steps out of ohtori; it’s hard even just to find the strength to leave an abusive situation let alone actively do it. but the pain remains, trauma doesn’t disappear it’s haunting it’s ghostly sometimes literally manifesting. both movie utena and anthy are hounded and bound to apparitions they’ve forgotten are actually dead.

touga died years ago sacrificing himself for nothing in the end and became princely an ideal to strive for and utena has to come to grips with that and she basically says no you don’t control me my grief my trauma does not control me thank you for being my prince but I can’t be a prince I don’t want to be it’s not real

anthy is real

I am real

akio is abuse he is torment and toxicity he is anthy’s monster, maybe a monster that she created once upon a time but he chose to perpetuate his monstrosity. and when confronted with his actions he couldn’t face it he hurt her more made it her fault for the hurt he caused her and he died he’s dead he’s gone but he remains in the ground anthy buried him beneath the roses. the rose garden is a prison she is the only one held captive by the roses and it grows up up high up but it’s still there the roses remain he’s still there in her mind and he’ll never leave but he’s not in control. he’s dead, he’s been dead for so long he remains but he’s not real and he’s no prince because the prince was a lie that never existed it’s not real

utena is real

I am real

and they blaze past everything. there are obstacles but there are friends too who aren’t there yet but they’re on the path they’re trying they’re growing they have high goals they want to reach and someday they will but you can now. it’s anthy’s story it’s anthy journey and it’s hard of course it’s hard

but they break free. they break the castle so huge so big so impossible but it wasn’t real

it’s just rose petals flying in the wind

akio doesn’t control her and though it might be so that she and utena can’t make it outside, that they have to continue as princesses stuck in the role that people give them but they don’t have power over them, they’re free and no longer draped in any costume or performance, they’re truth out of her well to shame mankind and that’s fucking awesome. they might not make it, they might fail like the broken down husks of those who came before them, but they can try they’re free to try. they have the power to try. to revolutionize the world. to revolutionize their world.

“the outside world has no roads, but you can always build new roads.”

I binged the entire series and the movie last year around March maybe, sometime right before quarantine…and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, analyzing it, since. I’m pretty sure it radicalized me and honestly I’m glad it did. revolutionary girl utena speaks truth to power and exists as a creative work in a way that I don’t think anything else has or will. it’s fundamentally itself but simultaneously thrives on external interpretation. it’s both an enigma wrapped in a mystery and as obvious and unsubtle as a trainwreck. above is my favorite quote of the entire franchise because it’s so simple but so profound—you could say it’s my equivalent of “what is grief if not love persevering”.

there are no roads to follow, but you’re open to build your own path your own way. no one defines you but you and that’s simple that’s kinda naive but what’s wrong with that. I’m not sure who originally said this or stated this proverb or whatever, I know I read it somewhere but I’m not sure where, and I’m definitely paraphrasing but

adults are so quick to say the world is unfair and be done with it, but a child would look at that and say: why not make it fair? that’s really simple and it’s innocent of course but it’s still true. why can’t we make things fair, because we definitely could it’s not impossible.

I’m not sure how to end this post—I definitely should cause it’s plenty long already—but rgu is highly foundational to me on a visceral level. it’s helped me in ways shifted me in ways I can’t describe and I can’t really imagine myself now existing without its influence. the best way I could describe its impact its power its importance really boils down to

the outside world has no roads, but you can always build new roads.

words to live by.

[feyredarlinq]

elain x azriel: endgame

here’s why i think elain and azriel are endgame. i’ve been wanting to make this post for a while + what sarah said in her australian acosf tour livestream fits perfectly with what i had in mind so here we go. i think the title already says enough, and of course i’ll be using the proper pro and anti tags, but just in case i’m still warning you: this will be a pro elriel post. let’s start:

“(...) i was not done with this world and these characters and there was still so many stories i wanted to tell both about the characters themselves but also this concept of how do you rebuild a world that’s just been torn apart by war (...)” so these characters are nesta, cassian (obviously) elain, lucien, mor, azriel, vassa (jurian? eris? amren?) 

then she said that nothing about the overarching plot really changed, not even with the new characters (so gwyn, emerie, the new characters that will appear in acotar5 etc) because “(...) more characters have emerged (…) so i wouldn’t say things have changed as much as they just expanded (...) i have loved that my drunken lunch story has been remembered, my drunken meal with my editor, i think i’ve pitched the several next books to her and most of it remains the same (...) the next few books in the series i know this is gonna happen and these are the characters that are gonna be in it and it’s pretty much the same from my drunken ramblings a few years ago” 

so, to sum up, what she said confirms that: 

the next books are going to be about the og secondary/now future mains characters previously mentioned

the “new characters” are just secondary characters in each book, meant to only “expand the world”

the decisions of who the books were going to be about (and remember that it was going to be one book x one couple) was made before any of those new characters even existed

now, we all know that elain’s book is next, so let’s focus on that (elain, azriel, lucien). i won’t bore you with all the textual evidence and/or all the times that sarah herself talked about/said that elain was getting her own book and/or her book was next after nesta’s because, at this point -especially after the further confirmation in that interview that nothing has changed- it has become so painfully obvious that, if you don’t see that, you’re being intentionally obtuse. 

“i know what’s going to happen like five books down the road (...) and i wanna lay the groundwork for that” which basically means that she’s been dropping hints for a while. let’s see: (just a few examples because, if i had to include everything, this post would be way too long)

(feyre is talking about elain and azriel) “why not make them mates?” (...) “what decides it? who decides it?”

it made sense, i supposed, that azriel alone had listened to her. the male who heard things other could not.

“the mating bond. it is a bridge between souls.” ⇢ (...) light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two, the only bridge of connection ... that knife.”

“don’t” elain said flatly, starting once more into a walk, veils of steam drifting past her shoulders from the roasted rosemary potatoes in her hands, as if they were azriel’s shadows.

“why did you come if it torments you so much?” (...) his secrets to tell, never hers.

“what if the cauldron was wrong?”

but what about lucien? he’s still elain’s mate after all. is he though? 

(feyre is talking about elain and azriel) “what if (...) this is what she needs? is there no free will? what if lucien wishes the union but she doesn’t?”

if anyone can sense if something is amiss. it’s a mate.” ⇢ lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on elain, “should we- does she need...?” “she doesn’t need anything”, azriel answered (...) “the cauldron has made you a seer.”

elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen” (with lucien) vs “offer and permission” (with azriel) 

lucien blushed (while talking about vassa) (...) “she’s got a foul temper and a fouler mouth”

“(...) if it wasn’t for vassa.” a twitch of the lips, a spark in that russet eye. “she’s doing well enough. savoring every second of her temporary freedom.”

“a bird of flame and a lord of fire. i wondered if they’d found each other yet.”

so from what we’ve gathered so far, sjm dropped hints that: lucien is elain’s mate but they’re one of those couple of mates that won’t work and/or that azriel is her mate and there’s also something there about lucien and vassa. i’d say at this point it’s pretty obvious how things are going to go and, if you read the books, you know that there’s even plenty more evidence of that. elain and lucien won’t end up together and they A: find a way to break/reject the bond, B: choose other people even if they’re still mates, C: they’re not mates, D: none of the above, sjm will come up with something else, but one thing is for sure: they’re not endgame, and there are already hints about who they’ll actually end up with: elain with azriel (acotar5) and lucien with vassa.

i won’t talk about azriel and his pov and gwyn because:

i actually already have (x)

there’s no point in doing it after what sarah said (to keep it short, gwyn: one of the new characters that just expanded the world etc: gw/nriel = crack ship)

there was nothing there anyway except for a couple of friendly interactions in acosf (actually, not even that, since az himself thought that he didn’t consider her a friend) and lightsinger/whatever else she is hints in the pov

imo even if, in a parallel universe, everything that happened with elain, him, lucien, vassa didn’t exist, even if sarah didn’t say all that stuff about the new characters, even with no lightsingers, even with azriel going to the library because he wanted to and not because he was lured there, there’s just no way that he’s going to end up with anyone that’s not elain after “wrong. it was so wrong. he didn’t care. he needed to know what the skin of her neck tasted like. what those perfect lips tasted like” (and so much more *coughs* four books of build up *coughs*) vs “he wouldn’t go so far as to call gwyn a friend” + regifting a necklace that symbolizes elain and was meant for her first. i’ve seen some people say he’s “in lust” with elain or whatever and he’ll be “in love” with gwyn but luckily sarah, a feminist (and the same woman that put all of that smut in acosf, oh and let’s not forget wings and embers, funny how i don’t see people talking shit about cassian’s sexual attraction to nesta though), won’t indulge in those misogynistic headcanons and she will never write a book where everything that happened betweet elain and azriel pre acosf disappears and elain/elriel is suddenly reduced to nothing but pent up sexual frustration while gwyn “is not like other girls” and azriel will end up with her after using elain just to hook up. go read a 2012 harry styles wattpad fanfic if you’re looking for that. 

last, but not least, i’m going back one more time to those hints we’ve talked about to include my personal favorite:

feysand, nessian (or viceversa?) and elriel. 

fangest beast and trembling fawn: elain

sing me: azriel

[kuroopaisen]

tiny love || 10

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. through a few strange twists of fate, you’ve ended up living with the very boy who’d broken your heart. but, perhaps it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be. he is the perfect gentleman, after all.

warnings: f!reader, implied nsfw, reader is hopelessly infatuated with iwaizumi but who isn’t 

wc: 1.5k

m.list |  ch. 9 ↞ ch. 10 ↠ ch. 11

It’s strange, waking up in a bed that’s not your own in your very own house.

Stranger yet is that you have nothing to blame expect your own temper. You weren’t there because you’d drunk too much or taken something that’d impair your judgement.

You were there simply because you’d gotten so angry.

What happened didn’t fix anything. Maybe it’d just make everything messier.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to be upset about it. Not when Iwaizumi’s arms were wrapped around your waist and his peaceful sleeping face was just a breath away from yours.

He looks so soft, that small kink in his brow that’s around so often he may as well trademark it is gone, the corners of his mouth are upturned instead of tugged downwards by the weight of all his responsibilities, his hair all un-styled and messy due to all your ‘hard work’ last night.

Your eyes flicked down to a red mark on his collarbone. Whoops.

Granted, perhaps you should’ve been grateful that was the only obvious remnant from the events of the previous evening. Not that you had any idea what you looked like. Maybe you hadn’t made it out so clean.

Regardless, you just wanted to take the moment to admire him, to let yourself lie in this quiet moment.

Iwaizumi’s eyes flickered open, still heavy with sleep.

You held your breath.

What if he regretted it? What if the morning brought some kind of change? What if he’d had the so called ‘post-nut clarity’?

The softest smile you’d ever seen spread across his face as his eyes focused on you.

It’s enough to make you blush, all things considered.

He brought a rough hand up to cup your face, running his thumb gently over your cheek.

“Good morning,” he murmured, in what was perhaps the sexiest voice you’d ever heard.

“Morning,” you whispered back. God, why were you so bashful?

Iwaizumi was still smiling at you, an overwhelmingly fond look in his eyes.

“Sleep well?” He yawned, his arms tightening around your waist.

“Yeah,” you admitted. “You?”

“Best I’ve slept in ages,” he mumbled, gently tugging you closer to him. You conceded.

His shirtless torso was so warm, so inviting. And his arms… His arms… You’d fantasised about being wrapped in those muscular arms of his more times than you were willing to admit, but you were delighted to report that they did not disappoint.

This whole morning felt it was straight out of one of your teenage daydreams.

“Don’t you go for runs in the morning?” You asked, smoothing a hand over his side and up his back. It was enough to make your cheeks flare up again, but he couldn’t be the only one being all touchy.

Iwaizumi grunted, burying his face in your neck.

You giggled as his breath tickled your skin. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t just abandon me.”

Iwaizumi chuckled lowly, smoothing his large hand over the small of your back.

You shivered against his touch. It was almost like every nerve in your body was on fire. Iwaizumi still seemed positively sleepy, but you were wide awake.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi murmured, his lips brushing against your neck.

“Hm?”

“Is this what you want?” He asked.

You paused. Did he mean… this? The situation you’re in right now? Or did he mean ‘this’ on the broader scale? As in…

“What do you think?” You mumbled, your chest fluttering as you tightened your arms around his shoulders. It was safer not to assume anything. Not when it came to Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi chuckled, his breath tickling your collarbone. “It’s a serious question.”

“Are you asking me if I want…” You trailed off, your mind caught in a war between dramatized recollections of last night and the will to discuss said events seriously.

“I’m asking you if you’ll have me,” Iwaizumi murmured, his voice low. “If you want to give us a shot.”

Everything stopped. Was this… was this really happening?

It felt irresponsible to let yourself believe that. Not when there was still so much unresolved tension.  

“Hajime…” You gazed at him for a long moment, your eyes roaming his face. “But, last time…”

“I was an idiot,” he smiled. “I thought we established that.”

“I know,” you pouted. “But what about…”

Tooru.

You don’t need to say it. Iwaizumi understood.

“Hey…” He brought a hand up to your cheek, caressing it gently. “I want to be with you.”

He’d said them. The words you’d always wanted to hear.

But it still wasn’t enough.

“Are you willing to say that to Tooru?” Perhaps your tone was firmer than it needed to be. Perhaps the question ruined the mood.

But you deserved an answer.

One quiet, frozen moment.

“I have to,” he murmured.

“What if he gets angry?” You asked.

That was one of the things he’d been so scared of all those years ago. It was only one brick in the wall between you; but if you had to chip away at it bit by bit, you would.

There was a long pause.

“This is what you want, right?” Iwaizumi’s voice was more fragile than you’d ever heard before.

“Is this what you want?” Given the situation, it might seem like a stupid question. But you weren’t going to make him fight for this if it wasn’t

“Yes.” He said it without hesitation. “I should’ve told you that a long time ago.”

“Yes, you should’ve,” you grumbled.

But your chest felt like it was both collapsing and expanding. It was like flowers made of light were sprouting from your bone marrow, twining through your ribcage and tickling your lungs.

Not that you’d let him know that.

“But… if he gets angry, we’ll just… have to work it out,” you said. It didn’t feel like much of a solution. It was barely even a comfort. But, you had to say it. Even if it was just a promise to yourself that you’d face this, even if every instinct was telling you to run.

“I can talk to him alone,” Iwaizumi said.

“But—”

“He’ll be angrier at me.”

You bit your lip. “I… I guess.”

Iwaizumi was right. But part of you felt like that was only the case because Tooru kept babying you. It was like he thought you were still twelve, young and innocent and completely unaware of the world of relationships.

But Tooru had to accept that you were growing up. Iwaizumi Hajime was part of this, whether by sheer chance or as some part of a great cosmic prank.

“We’ll tell him together,” you said.

Iwaizumi lifted his head and stared at you, eyes slightly round. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “That seems fair.”

“But—”

“I’m not a doll, Hajime,” you said. “If Tooru thinks he has a right to dictate who I can and can’t be involved with, then he’s going to have to speak to me about it.” 

Iwaizumi laughed. A true, genuine laugh. It was a beautiful sound.

“My bad,” he smiled, bringing a hand up to stroke your hair. “We’ll talk to him together, then.”

It was happening. It was finally happening.

Iwaizumi Hajime was within your reach. And this time, he wasn’t running away. This time, he was letting you in with open arms.

Nice as it was, it was disorienting. You didn’t know what to feel – proud? Ashamed? Stupid?

You were lying in his bed, after all. You can think of at least one person who’d berate you for that.

But Amaya’s inevitable scolding aside, you don’t feel… bad, about it. Was that just because you hadn’t really done anything like this before? Were you moving too fast? Or was it okay, given your history? But then again, your history probably meant you’d need to go even slower…

“Hey, Hajime?” You asked, your voice tiny.

“Hm?”

“Do you think we… rushed things?” You asked.

“Maybe,” he sighed, drawing back from you. “If you want to slow down, then—”

“No.” Your cheeks bloomed red in recognition of how embarrassingly quickly you’d cut him off.

Iwaizumi smirks. “No?”

“I just mean that—well, you know—” You swallowed, rifling through your brain like an office worker who’d lost a very important piece of paper. “It’s just that—we’ve already, you know…”

Iwaizumi laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the way you’d always adored. “Are you saying you can’t keep your hands off me?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” you huffed. “You pervert.”

“Pervert?” He grinned. “If I remember correctly, you were the one begging for—”

You kissed him coarsely in a meagre attempt to shut him up. You felt him smile against your lips, his hand moving down from your waist to your ass.

“Like I said,” you mumbled against his lips, “Pervert.”

Iwaizumi chuckled. The warmth of the sound spread from his lips through your whole body. 

This is where you were meant to be. 

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n: hh hi sorry this is incredibly overdue i hope it doesn’t disappoint 

[fandomscombine]

Heartbreak Woman [Cho/Cedric Ending]

Warning: Angst! Brokenhearted!Reader

WC:1454

I proposed 3 varying endings and the response was across the board so I decided why the heck not write ALL 3 choices!

a/n: I haven't been active on tumblr this past month. Motivation to read & write wasn't really there. Feelin pretty crap. I don't think it's my best work- I actually wrote this ending last month but delay posting it since I promised to post all 3 endings back to back- but with the recent burnout, my progress is slow. Proofread it and push the insecurities & anxieties away and here we are. Love was put into this, I hope you enjoy it! Don't worry, the other 2 endings are on the way.

I tried posting this 9 times now and it keeps saying error. this is me testing it with mobile so formatting is hard but I hope it posts

BG: You were hoping that your best friend, Cedric to ask you to the Yule Ball. Instead you were roped into helping him ask Cho out. It broke your heart, but at least this way while helping him out you could pretend that he was doing all the sweet things to you. On the other side of the picture, Harry was too heartbroken upon learning that Cho is going out with Cedric.

Read the main story before it diverges ending here!

>>>Heartbreak Woman [Main]

>>>MASTERLIST<<<

 

Did Harry Potter really just ask you out and you said yes?

Touching your forehead, it wasn’t bleeding anymore but there is still a slight sting to it from the collision with Harry’s broom. Yes. That definitely happened. You thought to yourself, this isn’t some delusion from the injury.

 This is good. This is good. Hyping yourself up. You enjoy his company and that should be enough to stop your thoughts from going about a certain Hufflepuff boy. The same boy you had abruptly left alone in the greens. It’s not his fault nor it is Cho’s for wanting to date each other. You have nothing against them, they are both such lovely and kind people and not to mention popular- it was only a matter of time that they got together, Hogwarts’ Power Couple.

No, it’s just you and your stupid feelings falling for your best friend and agreeing to help with the courtship.

‘Y/n? Hii.” The voice reels you back to reality.

You blinked. “Cho! Hi!” Greeting her loudly had been taken by surprise. You dial down your volume. “What can I do for you?”

“It’s actually what you did, really… I just wanted to say thank you.”

You were confused, why was she thanking you?

“For helping Cedric I mean” She clarified. “He mentioned that you helped him with the picnic idea. It was very sweet. It was what made me finally say yes.”

“That’s awesome.” You force yourself to smile. “I’m glad you guys are together, I can finally get that git to stop bothering me with date ideas. That’s 3 weeks of my life I’m not getting back!” There was some truth to that statement, now that she and Cedric are together you don’t have to go through the pain of practice dates with Cedric.

“You y/n are the absolute wingwoman! Legend material!” Cho praised. “You're like my fairy godmother!” She continues, wrapping you into an embrace.

“yayyyy….That’s me…” You mumble into her luscious hair. Grateful that Cho couldn’t see your face.  Pulling apart, you don’t let her go quite yet. With hands on her shoulder, you stare unwavering. “Just don’t break his heart yea? He’s really smitten by you, promise you won’t hurt him.”

Cho is taken aback a bit, your words clearly coming from a strong emotional bond with the boy.  Thoughts of love, Eros, passed through her mind but brushed it away - It can’t be y/n help them get together. Y/n’s words must come from Philia love, y/n and Cedric had been best friends since before they could talk! Everyone knows that. They have a soul connection that can’t be replicated.  “I promise.”

~

14th February.

Valentine’s Day.

This holiday sucks.

No, not for the reason that you’re single. Nah.

Today is a downer as you won’t be able to do your annual tradition.

See every since 3rd year you and Cedric would be in a pink ensemble outfit complete with red heart sunglasses. Spreading chants of self love and showering fellow single students and professors with compliments. This all started out when your roommates teased you for not having a date for Valentine’s day.  When Cedric had heard about it, he went all out. The boy basically made sure that every single person knew how wonderful, beautiful and intelligent you are.

It was this day onwards that 2 things happened.

Complementing and advocating for self love, Philautia, in a pink get up became an annual Valentine’s tradition. (Even a couple of students joined the cause, expanding from you just both into an association/group of sorts.)

 You started to see Cedric in a new light. In other words, you were falling in love with your best friend.

Scanning the Great Hall for pink cladded pupils, you were glad that the group had saved you a seat however a certain Hufflepuff was out of sight. Taking a deep breath, you cleared your head. Get it together y/n. Today is about sharing love and do NOT think about Cedric and Cho going on a romantic date in Hogsmeade.

You were about to take a step forward when-

“Argh!” Shutting your eyes as the hall spun around.

“Relaxx!! Relax! It’s just me.”

Feet back on solid ground, you turned towards the perpetrator, the one boy you did not want to see right now. “What the fuck Ced! Don’t scare me like that!”

“I’m sorry…” Cedric raises his arms in surrender. “Is everything alright?”

“Yea everything’s fine.”

Cedric raises a brow. You forget that this boy can see through your bullshit.

“Only had a couple hours of sleep, that’s all.” It wasn’t a lie, in fact you’d only gotten 3 hours of rest last night, it was just the case of omitting that his upcoming date with Cho was the reason for your restlessness. You don’t want to blame it on jealousy, but it is.

Grabbing hold of your hand, he pulls you towards the group. "Alright then, I've got some spare sleeping potion if you need."

You wave to your fellow singles as you sit down."uh..thanks Ced." You couldn't stop vocalizing your confusion as to why Cedric is still right next to you. Normally you wouldn't complain, but today was Valentine's Day.

"Ouch y/n!" Cedric sassed, eyes focused on piling food onto his plate." Just because I have a girlfriend now doesn't mean I would disappear on my best girl."

My best girl. It hurts to be called that in another context than you wanted.

"Don't you have a date with Cho today?"

"Yea but Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop  doesn't open until 11am. Which gives me time for our annual Valentine's tradition!"

"But you're taken."

"Yes….but I could still help spreading the love!" Cedric glanced around. "No one minds that I come to join you right?"

A murmur of Nos filled your eyes.

"Haha! See I told you!" Cedric brags, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Looks at you straight in the eyes, those gorgeous grey irises melting away your defenses."You can't get rid of me that easily." He whispers, loud enough only for you to hear. You could feel the heat filling up your face due to his closeness. Too busy lost in the rapid beats of your heart, you failed to notice his face getting even closer.

A softness like cotton grazes your cheek.

Cedric kissed you!

Your mind is close to being short circuited. The area of where Cedric's lips were a nanosecond ago is cold as ice. The cold contrasted with your now burning hot, blushing face.

You could live in this forever. All external environments quiet, blocked out of focus. Cedric's arms around you while the butterflies in your stomach bursts out, occupying your whole body with sheer giddiness from having his lips on you.

But the daydream breaks.

"Hey Love! You ready?"

"Morning!" He greets, kissing her. "Uh…" It's only 9:34am. You nod, silently telling him that it was okay to miss your annual tradition. You weren't expecting any quality time today, yet he managed even if it was just for breakfast. "Yea.. give me 10 minutes to go change and I'll pick you up at the courtyard?"

"Sounds great. Be quick cause I miss you already!"

"Sure will sweetheart." He pecks her lips again then waves goodbye to the table and he's off, running.

The tension changes once Cedric is gone.

"Can I talk to you outside y/n?"

"uh yeah" Once outside. "What's up?" Trying to sound casual. Cho inviting you to speak privately isn't usual-seeing that you were the couple's go to accomplice for surprises.

"I see the way you look at him."

"I'm sorry?"

"I know.you like him. y/n. I know you like Cedric."

"Cho.. you can't be serious, he's my best friend!"

"I wasn't sure then.but just now..the way you act around him. the way you look at him. y/n is undeniable. It’s  so obvious-I had assumptions then but everyone just brushes it off as your childhood friend with each other. heck even both of you say that."

"Cho…."

"I didn't bring this up before because I felt insecure, jealous even that I can't live up to the standard of relationship you and Cedric have.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. There were too many revelations bombarding you all at once, that you are having trouble processing what is going on.

“But I am tired of what ifs and worrying.” Voice quivering, she continues. “You've got to tell him, y/n."

The words snap you back into place.

"Cho… I can't. I can't ruin your relationship."

If you love someone and they love someone else, you let them go.

~

Everything Taglist :@gruffle1

HP Taglist:@onlyfreds

Heartbreak woman Tagist:

@joalinbenefits @the-natureofme @romanoffs-heart @justmesadgirl @plumso @gleefulleve @wolf-phoenix-lover @ceofcedric @savvy7392 @cedricsfluffyhair @thewayilookatbacon @LIONLIKEWOLFLIKE @mellifluous-cosmos

[palidoozy-art]

The more I think about your recent post about the changes you made to Strahd, the more I wonder about those changes you made to the others mentioned (Rahadin, Van Richten, Ireena, etc). I'd absolutely love to hear what adjustments you made as you already shared some stellar ideas already. Like the Tome? -Chef kiss- Amazing.

Oh mannn I do love talking about my campaign. I changed a lot with them. Again, weirdly enough, I think Strahd wound up being the most like his original incarnation. I could talk forever about the changes I made so I'll try to be brief haha. IT STILL WON'T BE BRIEF.

Obvious CoS spoilers below

IREENA - I thought it was weird that the picture they gave her makes her look like such a badass, and then the module just kind of writes her as a damsel in distress to either get kidnapped or pulled into water or dumped somewhere. To me, she's like, the second most important character in CoS -- and the book literally gives you less direction to roleplay her than her brother. Furthermore, reading her ending actually legit made me mad.

So I said fuck all that. Ireena in my game was a 19-year old girl who grew and developed over the course of the campaign. Several of my players actually said they thought of her as "the main character," just because she experienced a lot of character growth and development, going from a sheltered meek teenager to someone who can fight and assert herself. The biggest change I made to her though was that I very specifically did not just want her to be "Tatyana with memory loss." Ireena is a unique individual who happens to be partially made out of Tatyana's soul. While she shares many similarities with Tatyana, they're separate people, and part of what Ireena has to grapple with is how to live up to that. She's in the post-campaign because of that distinction -- while Sergei offered her to join him, she declined, because she wants to experience life past her twenties. I didn't get to play it out because we were kind of rushing towards the end, but I honestly envisioned a scene where she talks to the portrait of Tatyana, apologizing to her because she knows she's being selfish remaining alive.

This also brings up a unique problem in the post campaign. If Ireena dies, she ceases to exist and may not be able to be resurrected. When her soul leaves her body, it's Tatyana's again. Ireena very much wants to live. Tatyana doesn't. A resurrection has to be made with the consent of the soul, and if Tatyana declines, Ireena's just... gone. Forever.

Related: because I wasn't sure what my players would ask, and Rahadin would absolutely know this information -- there have been 18 incarnations of Tatyana, including the original. I actually have a timeline of when they were all born and how they died. The curse manifests in that they always die or are killed before their 25th birthday. If Strahd attempts to marry them, they lose their minds and throw themselves off of the same balcony the original Tatyana jumped off of during the ceremony. Strahd can never have Tatyana. Vampyr will ensure of that.

But yeah, essentially: Ireena gained actual class levels; she wasn't just Tatyana with memory loss; she traveled with the party for 90% of the campaign and wasn't just a macguffin to be kidnapped/take to places; and I removed any of the "Sergei takes her into water/the sky and you never see her again" endings because I absolutely hated those.

VAN RICHTEN - Van Richten I tweaked a lot from his original incarnation. First, I started him off as Lawful Neutral. No, game, I know you tell me he's Lawful Good, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you that "training a racist tiger to genocide an ethnic camp" falls under the spectrum of Lawful Good. Second, I changed him from cleric to artificer (alchemist). I somehow just got the impression the dude was a godless man, and so he felt more fitting to be a man of science rather than a man of the church. Third, since I wasn't sure the other dread domains were ever going to be brought into 5e I moved him out of Darkon and into another world from the outside.

His backstory was also tied more into Strahd and the campaign in general, as well as the Dark Powers. About 30 years ago, he went into the mists with his own adventuring party (that included Escher) to try to rescue his kidnapped son, Erasmus. He found his son half-turned and begging him for death. Killing him, Van Richten hunted down the Vistani woman (Ezmerelda's mother) who sold the man, and in a rage strangled her to death. This gave him a curse. Ezmerelda witnessed it happen.

He went on a warpath against vampire spawn and vistani alike, until Strahd proposed a deal to Escher. Escher lured the group to a familiar dinner date with Strahd... only for Strahd to murder all of them, including Van Richten. Van Richten was approached by a dark power -- Vaund the Evasive, and given the option to return to life in exchange for the promise that Van Richten would eventually return to Amber Temple and free him. He took it, waking up outside of Barovia. From there he became famed vampire-hunter-book-author, until in his early 50's he decided it was time to seek vengeance and fulfill his promise. He brought in his hat of disguise, came up with an alibi, and headed into Barovia as Rictavio the Great.

He was absolutely played as a much more morally grey character at the start (the party's first encounter with him rather than Rictavio was him literally torturing a dude). He softened over the course of the campaign as he grew attached to the party, until finally reaching a point in the post-campaign where he's considered Lawful Good

Also: Ezmerelda was treated more or less as his adoptive daughter. She absolutely argued against this every single time, but he even slipped up and referred to her as his daughter on a few tense occasions.

RAHADIN - Rahadin I adjusted a lot, too. A LOOOOOOT. Strahd being comically evil makes sense -- the dude is a darklord, that kind of comes with the territory. With Rahadin, I wanted him to have more motivations to his actions, because the base game actually suggests that the dude is actually capable of caring. In the base game, you can find him at Amber Temple, trying to "petition the dark god into releasing his master from his torment." He screams in grief if he finds Strahd dead. Furthermore it felt like the game glosses over the fact that the dude was adopted as Barov's son. It doesn't bother addressing how Rahadin felt about Sergei, who would in theory be his other brother. I thought a number of things suggested in his backstory were interesting, but not expanded upon in the base game. So I took it upon myself to do so.

I changed how dusk elf society was built, which affected the three major dusk elf characters. It worked off of a pretty brutal caste system, with three kings at the top overseeing all of it. Rahadin was born in a lower caste, but actually brought into the warrior caste after a member of royalty was intrigued by his stature. Rahadin worked as a general, but grew frustrated by the inefficiencies of the caste system and its inequality. He started attempting to use his influence to petition other members of nobility into changing or loosening the strict system.

Patrina caught wind of this, and viewing it as a threat to her lifestyle + viewing it as an easy way to gain brownie points with those above her... tattled on him to the three kings, spinning what he was doing as treason. Rahadin was arrested and subsequently tortured. They attempted to execute him on a breaking wheel, breaking his bones against the spokes and leaving him in the town square as an example. He wound up escaping, crawling his way out of town until he was subsequently rescued by a group of human monks. The event pretty much broke him, morally. He went to Barov soon after and sold his people out, taking a personal hand in helping annihilate the dusk elves and conquering their land. Barov was so impressed by the man's loyalty that he adopted him as his son.

Part of this was done to make a connection as to why the hell Rahadin just absolutely fuckin' hates Patrina so much (since that definitely got played up during the campaign). When thinking of Rahadin's motivations, I tried to come at it from the angle that this man was evil... but legitimately cared deeply about Strahd, Sergei, and Tatyana. He was devestated from the events of the wedding, but saw Strahd's return as a second chance. As the lone surviving witness from the wedding, he desperately wanted to help the three of them. But his own blind loyalty to Strahd and his broken moral compass prevented him from doing so.

One of my favorite little additions was a sidequest I offered to the players (they wanted to redeem Rahadin). They were requested by him to retrieve (well, "not destroy or sell") one of his most precious belongings in his office. When they get there... it turns out it's a birthday card and a worn-out old amulet from Sergei and Tatyana that he's kept after all these years. They got Ireena to read the letter to him, to help him keep going after Strahd's death.

anyway i could ramble on about changes forever but i don't want this post to get too long haha. i have. many feelings. over this campaign. maybe at some point I'll do a separate post with some of the others.

i also kinda wanna do a comic of an event from Rahadin's backstory for my players but we'll see, I might deem it "too stupid."

[stxleslyds]

If you misunderstood, it's my fault, I tried to articulate it correctly but failed. I’ll be used the fact that it was past 2am as an excuse… But I was calling Lobdell's Jason rude, in this case. It wasn't necessarily that he was rude without reason (because your example of Ducra telling him to bow was rude of her, I agree there, and there will be more examples), it was more so that he was rude at all. It was a stark contrast between what Winick had shown, and Lobdell now did. (I might be biased against Lobdell and therefor interpreting Jason's actions much more unkindly, but idk, they were just so different?) It was like Winick's writing of Jason worked well with how Jason was written pre-death, whereas Lobdell's writing of Jason worked better with those post-death/pre-resurrection flashbacks (I don't have the option to add images, but there are a plethora of moments). I think I mostly send the previous ask because, at least to me, that contrast between the Lost Days and the All Caste made Jason (Lobdell’s version) feel especially rude. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, but my bias might have made it seem considerably worse… I hope I make sense, and if not, I apologise for that...

Hello again Anon! Thank you for writing to me again!

And yeah, I completely agree with you that there is a very clear difference between how Jason was written (in general and personality wise) by Winick and Lobdell. I am known to be a big Winick fan and a clear hater of Lobdell so you and I are on the same page.

The thing that is different and makes Winick’s whole characterization better is that he is a good writer and when he was given the opportunity to expand on his lore, he did it amazingly. He had six issues to explain three years of Jason’s history and he gave a lot of context to what had happened before UtRH and how Jason came to be the man with the motivations that he had in that book.

I see it like Winick worked with the idea of Jason as he was before his death and built from that. Jason was a sweet boy who had a very complicated life and was “saved” by Batman from an unknown future. But as he kept working with Batman their differences in morals and how they viewed criminals made themselves clearer, Batman didn’t pay much attention to the fact that Jason viewed the world differently and that led Jason to feel neglected. From feeling like that is that Jason jumped when he found a connection to his first family, he wanted a parental figure to care and love him (he clearly wasn’t feeling like Bruce was giving him that). When that parental figure betrayed him and he found himself dying he wanted Bruce (his dad) to come and save him because he was just a kid.

Winick took all that and built from there, he gave us a Jason that wasn’t angry at Bruce for not coming in time, he didn’t even blame Bruce for his death (or himself), he was just angry and disappointed when he found out that Bruce had learned nothing from what had happened to Jason. Jason really believed that after he died Bruce would have opened his eyes to the cruel reality that is Gotham and that the Batman’s ways aren’t enough or even good.

Lobdell changed all that, he made Jason angry at the fact that Bruce didn’t save him, he then made Jason feel like he was responsible for his own death and was one of the first in pushing the narrative that Jason was a bad Robin or that being Robin wasn’t something that Jason had wanted to begin with.

Those differences changed Jason completely, and in Lobdell’s case led Jason to be a character that was hard to like. He was mean to Roy, he objectified women and acted like a hormonal teenager even after being resurrected (at times). So, I truly understand where you are coming from. It’s just that I don’t think that Jason being rude was the problem (or the main problem) it’s everything surrounding it, his past before death was changed for no reason at all and then his past after death was also changed for no reason at all.

When you find yourself reading content with a character that was very carefully developed and then jump directly into the mess that was New 52 RHatO then the bad writing, bad characterizations and obvious character assassinations are going to slap you in the face.

I know because I watched the UtRH animated movie (written by Judd Winick) then read Red Hood/Arsenal, then read UtRH and sadly after reading that masterpiece I jumped directly into New 52 RHatO and I wanted to just scream forever.

So, all in all, like I said in our previous “conversation”, I didn’t really feel like Jason was rude in his training, he just had a very difficult personality, and he acted in not so nice ways that were never called out as bad, and all that happened because Lobdell was writing a self-insert version of Jason and he obviously didn’t see (at the time) anything wrong with the way he was writing Jason. He did make some changes in Rebirth, when it comes to his personality and his relatability, Jason was more likable then, but first we had to suffer through those two books from hell that Lobdell wrote.

And going back to how Lobdell perceived the events of UtRH and how he brought them to light in his own books, well Anon, I am glad to inform you that I made a post all about it some time ago. In there I deep dive in how Lobdell re-wrote Jason’s intentions and motivations in UtRH and made him look like a bad man that only wanted to hurt Bruce because his father hadn’t gone on a killing spree for him.

If that was what you had meant, then you and me are on the same page completely! I will link here that post; it was called “RHatO’s Perception of UtRH and DitF”.

If you check that post out let me know what you thought! Thank you again for sending me another ask and I hope you have a wonderful day!

[mychemicalrachel]

So I finished season 2 of Love Victor a few days ago but I needed time to process because that was a lot and part of processing is reviewing/reflecting, which I’m gonna post here. Everything under the cut because I ramble.

(also, it’s anti Victor/Rahim. Venji is endgame and you can pry that from my cold dead hands. Skip this if that’s not for you. I’m not posting this to start drama. Just my opinions.)

To start off, I liked this season. I’m gonna trash it a little, but it’s done with love. There were a lot of things I wanted to see after season 1 and, surprisingly, I got a lot of those things! Such as…

I wanted more Felix and Pilar. Which we got. I did not want it like this. I’m not opposed to them together, I like them, but I wanted Felix and Lake to stay together. HOWEVER, I’m kinda glad they broke up because y’all it’s paving the way for bi Lake (another thing I really wanted) and I cannot wait to see her and Lucy together.

Kind of following along with that, I really wanted them to give Pilar more friends this season. And they did that with Rahim. And then they took Rahim away and gave him to Victor instead. Guys, this is killing me. I want to see Pilar with actual friends, give her more of a social life I am begging you.

JACK. I knew, I just KNEW, that we were going to get a Spier cameo this season and I honestly kind of expected it to be Emily, maybe Nora, but I am so happy it was Jack. He’s grown so much since Love Simon.

I wanted to see Mia portrayed as her own person and not a villain. She was justified in her anger and betrayal because Victor hurt her. They handled it really well I think. She’s such a good friend. I’m also glad we got more of her and Veronica bonding. I can’t wait to see Mia with the baby, that’s gonna be so cute.

I wanted more Andrew and this season did not disappoint. He was like the cool uncle that everyone went to for advice. 

Now, with all of that said, I did get a lot of things I wanted from this season. I also got things I did not want. I was actually really excited when they introduced Rahim and kind of went full circle by having him go to Victor for advice. I was like, hell yeah! Gays who can be friends without being all over each other! And then they started this love triangle thing and I kind of hated it. I liked Victor and Rahim as friends, I want more of that because I think Victor (and Rahim, too, to be honest) could use more queer friends. Just friends. They built up this entire relationship between Benji and Victor in season 1 and spent a lot of this season confirming that yeah Benji and Victor are in love even though they have some tough times, and now I’m just supposed to accept that Victor has started having feelings for someone else? No thank you, please stop.

And that leads me to things I want to see in season 3!

Victor chose Benji obviously. You cannot convince me otherwise. Someone he started having feelings for when he was going through a mentally distressing time in his life fails in comparison to the guy he spent an entire season falling in love with.

Now I’m not discounting Victor’s feelings. I’m sure he felt something for Rahim, but we need to acknowledge that Victor was in the middle of a stressful time. He had only recently come out, he was dealing with his mom not accepting him or his boyfriend, he quit the basketball team, he was struggling with his place in his and Benji’s relationship and then Benji wanted to “take a break”. He can’t be blamed for latching onto someone who wholly accepted him and made him feel normal.

Also, it’s fairly common to play into the trope of “this character is new to being gay, he can’t just be with one person so we have to add another love interest and make sure what he’s feeling for person A is real.”

That said! Benji will probably feel insecure now! And that’s okay! Let’s explore that! Let’s allow Benji to be the one who's insecure in this relationship for once instead of always having Victor be the one to doubt everything! They don’t have to break up to take a step back and slow things down!

As such, I really want to go back to the Victor/Benji roots. Make them friends again. I want stupid cute moments like them dancing to Call Me Maybe and trying on thrift store clothes. We spent so much of this season making Victor and Benji boyfriends that we kind of skipped over the whole friends aspect. There’s a reason they fell in love in the first place and we need to revisit that. A relationship is not just sex and miscommunication. It’s laughing together, it’s enjoying each other's company, and I didn’t see nearly enough of that between Victor and Benji this season.

They were not at all subtle with the parallels between Felix and Victor this season; Felix having to choose between Lake and Pilar while Victor has to choose between Rahim and Benji. I mean, I don’t think it was supposed to be subtle. It couldn’t have been more obvious. And at first I was worried that Felix chose Pilar because of the parallels and that must mean Victor was going to choose Rahim. But the longer I look at it, the more differences I notice in their parallels and I don’t have the eloquence to unpack it all right now, but it all just made me more assured that Victor is going to choose Benji.

Moving away from Victor/Benji, there’s something that keeps bothering me; it’s when Felix and Lake had sex at the lake. Cute romantic moment, yeah sure, I probably wouldn’t have thought much of it, except it made a deal out of Felix buying condoms beforehand. He was prepared. That’s good. Only, when they went out to jump into the lake, they only had towels. Which means that there is a very good chance they didn’t use protection. That, coupled with Georgina’s comment about watching Teen Mom...I foresee a pregnancy scare in the coming season. Whether it’s an actual pregnancy and we get a whole pregnancy storyline (possibly an abortion, maybe a miscarriage. I don’t really see it going full term for whatever reason) or if it’s just an episode where Lake thinks she might be pregnant.

I’m pretty excited to see how they handle this newfound romance between Lucy and Lake. Does Lake already know she’s bi? Does Lucy? Lake made a comment at the beginning of this season about making sure everyone knew Mia didn’t turn Victor gay, which makes me wonder how Lake will react to discovering she also likes girls. No, I’m not saying she’ll think Felix turned her into a lesbian. But I think she’ll doubt her feelings for Lucy. She’ll think (however briefly) that maybe she was just hurt and maybe she doesn’t actually like Lucy, she’s just coping with having her heart broken by a boy.

But I want all of her doubt to end when she accepts that she’s totally bisexual.

Now that we got our bi character, I’m gonna start demanding an ace character, too.

I want Mia’s mom to be awesome. Her dad kind of sucks and she deserves at least one good parent.

HOWEVER, if her mom also sucks, I think it could bring her and Veronica closer.

Speaking of parents, I want to explore Lake’s relationship with her mom more. She always tells Felix about how she was pressured to be skinny, and that right there is a terrible basis for a mother/daughter relationship. But she also felt comfortable enough to tell her about Felix’s mom and ask for help. So yeah, I definitely want more of them. I need Lake to stand up to her mom, though. I need her to be like, “you made me insecure in my body and I have self esteem issues because you made me think I wasn’t good enough” and I want to expand on that. Maybe Georgina had a good reason (in her mind, anyway) to treat Lake like that, and while it may have been a horrible thing to do, I don’t think she saw it that way. I’m not saying she should win a mother of the year award, but what she did to Lake needs to be acknowledged and talked about.

And then there’s Felix’s mom. I want to see her recovery. It’s a process and I don’t want her to magically be okay now. I also want her to meet Pilar (and Victor. Has Victor ever met her?) but also she really liked Lake and I want them to keep in touch, even though Lake and Felix aren’t together anymore. I still want them to be friends. 

AND I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED TALKING ABOUT ISABEL AND ARMANDO. I’m glad they found their way back to each other, but again; it’s a process. I think they should stay apart for a little bit and not just jump back in where they left off. They still have problems to sort through, but this is a start. They’ve realized they want to be together.

[boxofbadaddiction]

Those Three Little Words

Fred Weasley x Reader

This story is inspired from a request of my F.R.I.E.N.D.S Themed Prompt List.

Prompts: 10 & 11

"Until I was 25, I thought the only response to 'I love you' was 'Oh, crap!'"/"Ah, Humour based on my pain. Aha-ha-ha."

Warnings: Swearing (per usual). Anxiety. Toxic Family. Emotional Trauma(?). Angsty. Post-War.

The War had been a sick wakeup call for Fred. He'd lived his life carefree and reckless, as he figured each day were a given. Mess up today it didn't matter because there was always tomorrow. He would strut through life as if he were invincible because, well, he always seemed that way. But death has a funny way of reshuffling ones priorities. A way of shedding light on what truly matters in your life.

Fred never considered himself as someone who lacked ambition. Frankly George and he never seemed to let anything hold them back. However, these days Fred could very well give Slytherins a run for their money - something George frequently teased him about. If there were something he wanted Merlin himself couldn't get in his way.

Not only in the case of work but his personal life as well. In love. And there was only one woman on Earth he loved. [Y/N].

He knew he loved her before the war. Before Umbridge drove him from Hogwarts in their final year. Before she left him.

It was only shortly prior, the boys epic departure, that [Y/N] had made the decision to call it quits. She knew their lives were destined to pull them in opposite directions and she never put much stock in long distance relationships. So, with a final kiss and a wish good luck, she walked out of his life. Albeit not completely.

After graduation she kept loosely in touch with the Twins, they had been friends after all, even visiting their shop on the off occasion when she could swing it. Although she was often far too busy to stay for long. Eventually she was relocated overseas for work, this officially terminating any of the limited contact had between the three.

The next time they would be in each others presence was the ill-fated battle.

[Y/N] had been keeping tabs on the events leading up to the fight. Even engaging in missions on behalf of the Order when necessary. She had proved quite a valuable asset. In the days before all Hell broke loose [Y/N] returned to Britian on 'urgent family matters' and of course she fought.

When Fred saw her again after so many years the rush of feelings that coursed through his body were nearly enough to knock him off balance. She was still so gorgeous. The [E/C] of her eyes reminding him just how deeply he loved her. Just how much he needed her. And he knew. Just knew she felt the same.

He saw it in the little things she did for him. Saw it in the tears of her eyes. In the way she broke down in his Hospital room when he finally woke, a fortnight, after his accident. Heard it in the tremble of her voice. In her 'I thought I lost you's. In the way she clung to him. He was so relieved she was okay and so happy to finally have her back in his life. Until suddenly...she wasn't anymore.

Recovery was Freds life now, but that wasn't hers. She was still needed elsewhere and as much as he wished she would stay he knew she couldn't. She still had a life left living. It were a miracle she managed to stay as long as she had. So...she left. And he wouldn't see her again for years. Six. To be exact.

Recovery had taken years from Fred. It was two and a half years before he could consider himself independent. After all that time wasted he wasn't about to let anything stand in his way. So when news carried to his ears that [Y/N] was back living in London, permanently, that after six years he could see her again, there was nothing holding him back.

In a second he'd apparated to her doorstep. Knocking on the withered wood door. Listening to the faint patter of approaching footsteps. Hearing the gentle click of the locks tumblers as they turned. Watching the steady swing of the door as it opened. Feeling the prick of burning tears behind his eyes as he stared back into her questioning gaze. Pulling her body into his as their lips collided. Relishing in the warmth that spread through his blood as she kissed back. Clung back. Loved him back. Everything he poured into her she gave right back. He swore right in that moment that he'd never let her go again. They'd wasted so much time already.

Over a year later the two could not have been deeper in love. She'd moved into the boys flat mere months after he appeared at her door. It's what Fred wanted, and Fred always gets what he wants.

Fred and Georges business had picked up quite quickly after the war. Fred insisted George begin work on the restorations while he recovered. Saying he wanted everything back in full swing by the time he was upright, to pick right back where he left off. George was sure he simply didn't fancy cleaning it himself and saw recovery as a pretty convenient excuse. Fred didn't deny his brothers claim.

They'd managed to open a second store in Hogsmead and were currently renovating the original store. Expanding the flat and lower levels. This saw the three residents temporarily relocating to the Burrow for a few days as the work was completed. Molly had insisted, saying the house were 'far too quiet' for her liking. Which was hard to believe as Ron and Hermione and Ginny and Harry all currently lived there. Of course Bill and Fleur, as well as Percy had all moved out ages ago, and Charlie was back living in Romania. Still, it beats paying accommodation elsewhere. And they couldn't deny that spending time back in their childhood home was enjoyable. It felt warm and safe and familiar, like the war had never happened and they were all just spending time together as a family.

As dinner approached on their third day home [Y/N] and Harry could be found helping prepare tonights meal, under the careful instruction of Mrs Weasley, while the rest sat comfortably within the sitting room fondly reminiscing their times spent together just like they were now.

The group were laughing haughtily at a certain memory George had recalled in which [Y/N] turned Rons entire bedroom hot pink with the Twins 'Everlasting Dye', after he thought it'd be funny to turn her hair a similar shade. Much like [Y/N]'s hair the dye hadn't faded for well over a fortnight as the Twins found the whole thing all too funny and refused them the instant remover.

"God, I love her." Fred smiled brightly at the memory, "I'm going to marry that woman." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Sure she likes you that much?" Ginny quipped.

"Certain, dear Sister." Ginny simply nodded a look of uncertainty on her face. "What's that look for?" "Nothing." "Ginny." "well it's just...she doesn't really say it much does she?" "'Course she does. What are you on about?" "I just don't think I've ever actually heard her say she loves you before." "It's not like you're 'round us 24/7 now is it?" Fred scoffed, shaking off his sisters comment.

George meanwhile was staring towards the ceiling, brows furrowed as he contemplated Ginnys words deeply before letting out a low "hmmp" as realisation struck.

"Oh, what now?" Fred rolled his attention toward his Twin. "Nothing it's just I can't think of a time I've heard her say it either." Ginny had a look of 'I told you so' blatantly obvious on her face while Ron and Hermione thought hard on the topic as well. Freds gaze shifted quickly between his gathered family.

"Oh, so what if you've never heard it. Point is I have. And I know she loves me so it doesn't matter. But if you all must! Here," he leant back in his chair calling into the kitchen "Hey, [Y/N/N]!" "Yeah, Freddie?" She walked toward him with a loving smile. "I love you" [Y/N]'s smile faded instantly as she raised a suspicious brow, "What'd you do?" "What!?" Fred asked shocked as the eavesdroppers giggled. "No. Nothing, really! I just wanted to tell you I love you." "Oh...well I know that" she smiled, kissing him softly. Fred gave her an expectant look as she stood back. "...what?" "you love me too, yeah?" "Of course I do." There was a determination behind her words. Almost as if she were insulted by his question, to which the answer were painstakingly obvious. She soothingly ran a hand through his hair, "I've got to get back in there and help your Mother before Harry burns everything." She joked, placing a final quick kiss to his lips. He watched her leave a giddy smile on his face before turning back to his nosey family.

"See. Told you." He laid back in his seat confidently. The group all shared tight lipped, awkward, smiles. "Oh, what?!" "It's just she didn't really say it, did she?" George spoke. "Yeah she did. I asked her and she said 'yes'. End of conversation." "But she didn't actually say the words; 'I love you'." Ginnys voice intervened. "She doesn't have to." "Shouldn't it be sort of automatic?" "Like you and Harry say it every time." He rolled his eyes. "Pretty much" Ginny nodded, earning an unconvinced scoff from her brother. "Here, watch."

Ginny mirrored Freds earlier movements, calling to the kitchen, "Hey, Harry!" "Yeah, Gin?" Harry came to his fiancès call. She smiled up at him sweetly, "I love you". Harry looked around the group a little uncomfortable and unsure but smiled nonetheless. "I love you too" he placed a quick kiss to her temple. "Right, that's all I wanted you can go now." Ginny turned back in her chair as Harry walked away very confused.

"Automatic." She gestured widely with her hands, a triumphant look on her face. "Oh piss off." Fred scowled. "Doesn't matter if she 'says the words' or not. I know she loves me. Doesn't bother me." "Good for you, Freddie." Ron spoke encouragingly. "So you're on my side?" "Absolutely!" "It wouldn't bother you if Hermione never-" "oh GOD no! She has to say the words. I need the reassurance." He looked up to his girlfriend, who in turn lovingly took his hand in hers.

"Alright. So it's a little strange. But I bet I can have her saying it before we leave." "In four days?" George questioned, sceptical. "Yep. I'll make her." "How romantic. With charm like that it's a wonder why she hasn't said it already." His Twin chuckled. "Why don't you just talk to her about it? Maybe there's a reason." Hermione piped. "Nah. My ways better." Fred shook his head, tapping his knees lightly as he thought.

And so began, what Fred would soon discover to be, the most difficult challenge he'd ever attempted.

It started out simply enough; with a few added 'I love you's here and there. Whether the moment called for it or not. Although after the war Fred had become notably more vocal in expressing his love towards family and friends, he kicked it up a notch in an attempt to coax those very words from the mouth of his partner. Quickly escalating to more grand and romantic gestures.

The first was a ridiculously large bouquet of vividly yellow roses. Moving onto a private picnic for two atop the Hill which rested behind the Burrow. At sunset he had dragged [Y/N] from the home to where he laid a blanket and candles, with soft music playing in the background, as well as having organised a platter of all their favourite foods. Ending the meal rather...intimately. During which he was sure to further praise her and whisper sweet, loving words in her ear. Telling her just how much he loved her.

His constant showering of affection had granted him plenty of appreciation in return. His words always being met with the usual "I do too"s and "Me too"s even a couple "Dittos" they always had, though he was yet to receive any "I love you"s. Which hadn't bothered him before, but now was proving to be mildly infuriating and very disheartening, really.

Failure wasn't something Fred was used to anymore. To think he was unable to get his long term partner to say those three little words was quickly making him uncomfortable.

By the fourth and final morning, since setting himself this little challenge, Fred was spent. He was sure he'd tried everything. Grand gestures. Romantic dates. Surprise kisses. Great sex. He had even seriously considered proposing, as a last resort. But these were not the circumstances in which he wanted to do so under, when he did he wanted it to be perfect. Maybe the Imperius - NO! no. Too drastic.

Why was nothing working? Suddenly Ginnys amusing quip wasn't so funny anymore and struck a vein far too close to home. Was it possible he was wrong and she simply didn't feel the same way?

All manner of sickeningly worrisome thoughts began to flood through his mind as he lay awake. He starred at the woman he loved so fiercely, so passionately, he could swear she were the only reason his heart kept bleeding.

He watched her as she slept peacefully, tucked tight against his chest, whilst he absent-mindedly stroked her hair, contemplating a reality which he much rather never come true. One in which she didn't love him.

He used to be so sure but now...now he was terrified. He'd never thought much on what form his Boggart would assume if he ever were to face one. He knew in this moment though that is exactly what shape it would take. Her.

She'd approach him slowly. An evil grin and amused brow raised upon her features. She'd tell him what a fool he was. How stupid he was to ever think a woman like her could love a boy like him. That she only stayed with him out of pity. How humiliated and desperate he seemed that day on her doorstep. How it would have been better if he had just given up, never fought to survive after the explosion. How much better it'd have been if he just died in War. She could have found real love, lived a happy life away from the embarrassing one she led with him in it.

Tears burned red in the whites of his eyes as his chest shuddered with every quickened and panicking breath he took. His heart thundering in his ears as the room began to spin. He was suffocating. Sweat streamed down his temples. He had to get out. Escape.

Sliding as quickly and carefully as he could from beneath the covers without disturbing the sleeping woman in his bed, he took for the shower. Praying the steam would unfog his mind. That the water would wash away his doubts and anxiety.

The whole time he tried to rationalise why [Y/N] wouldn't say the words. Reassuring himself that it didn't matter. Shouldn't matter. He left the bathroom long after the water had run cold feeling only moderately better than when he'd entered. At least now he had a modicum of control over his body. His emotions on the other hand...

He slowly descended the steps of his childhood home, face emotionless, to the sound of light chatter and clinking of various dishes. Everyone was already gathered around the table eating breakfast.

"Ah, there you are!" George announced as Fred entered the kitchen, "clean now are we? Thought you'd must have drowned in there." He joked. Fred offered a light chuckle and forced smile as he sat himself between his Twin and partner. "What's this the wake then?"

[Y/N] leant into his side, placing a kiss to his cheek as her hand traced circles on his lower back. "Morning, Hun" she murmured tenderly, chin resting against his shoulder as she peered up at him. He didn't look at her, simply humming in response. His hand briefly came to squeeze her thigh before quickly retracting. This did little to evoke a sense of ease within his significant other.

Over the eighteen months they'd shared together [Y/N] had long since become accustomed to his dramatic morning greetings. Usually, as they'd wake up together, it'd involve him peppering her face and neck in countless kisses before joining George for breakfast. On days when they'd wake to find themselves alone under the covers, the other having obviously awoke long ago, he'd surprise her. Lifting her off her feet and spinning her through the air then, placing her back down, kissing her deeply.

The only times she'd seen him like this were nights when his dreams had been plagued with flashbacks from the Battle. She assumed he'd slept peacefully. He hadn't had any nightmares in months and would usually, unintentionally, wake her during them. "You okay, Freddie?" "Yeah."

Totally convincing.

The rest of the day Fred was cold. To everyone but [Y/N] especially. He was having difficulty even looking at her. She'd tried talking with him but he insisted there was nothing the matter. Didn't keep her from worrying.

After dinner everyone moved into the lounge, engaging in various bits of conversation. Everyone aside from Fred. No one was sure when he'd disappeared but his absence was noted nonetheless. [Y/N] was the one to search for him. Found standing within the garden over looking the sunset.

She could see the discontent held in his body, the way he stood so rigid. The hollow expression on his features, completely devoid of any emotion. It hurt her seeing him this way.

"Hey, You." She spoke hesitantly. Fred turned at the sound of her voice. Watching her standing tentatively before him as if unsure whether or not her presence was welcome. "Hey, You" he smiled sadly back, his frame visibly relaxing at the sight of her. "We're all missing you in there. What are you doing out here all by your lonesome?" [Y/N] said softly as she approached him, arms snaking around his waist. His hands fell to her lower back and pulled her into his body ever more so. "Just needed a bit of quiet to think" "'Think', huh?" He hummed in response. "That's never good" she grinned making him laugh lightly. "No, it isn't." He placed a slow kiss to her lips.

Breaking it shortly after as he teased, "So, you missed me?" "Every second you're not by my side I do." He rested his forehead against hers, their eyes falling shut contently. Fred exhaled comfortably,"I love you" "I do too" [Y/N] replied. "What love you?" Fred straightened himself with a cheeky expression on his face which was mirrored on that of his partners. "Stop it." "I'm serious." "You know what I mean" "Do I?".

[Y/N] had another quip ready on the tip of her tongue until noticing that cheery look he held had vanished and they were no longer standing in one anothers embrace. Her face dropped at the sight if a completely serious Fred Weasley stood in front of her. Awaiting the answer to a question she didn't fully understand. "Whats gotten into you?" She took a step toward him, to which, he took one back. "Do you love me?" "Of course I do!" "Then why don't you say it?" "I don't know what you're -" "you never say it." "I just did." "No, you agreed to a question I asked." "It's the same thing." "It's not."

The two were practically talking on top of one another. "Just...say it." He took a step towards her, to which, she took one back. "If I say it now it'll be forced and it may as well not mean anything." "Why can't you just say it!?" He snapped, more asking himself the question than her. But he needed to ask. He wasn't yelling at her but a part of [Y/N] wished he would. "I know you love me. Or at least I thought I did. I just...I need to hear you say it because sometimes I can't help but wonder - please just. Say it." Staring into her eye's pleadingly, hers stared right back in apology. "Fred..." "Forget it." He turned from her. "Fred, baby" her hand reached for his shoulder as his own ran through his hair in frustration whilst his jaw clenched. "I can't. I can't be near you right now." He shook his head, storming off towards the Hill. Ignoring her frantic, begging calls.

[Y/N] stood rooted to the spot from shock. This was one of the first fights the pair had had, and she wasn't even sure what brought it on. There'd been minor squabbles between them out of stress from work or other things but never something like this. They had such an open relationship it never got to this point, any concerns either held was always voiced and discussed. Why was this time different?

As she watched his figure slowly disappear amongst the dark as night was soon to fall, she made her decision. This time wasn't going to be different. They were going to talk about it whether he cared to or not. Even if that meant her admitting somethings she'd very much hoped never have to. So, she set off after him.

Fred stood with his back against the trunk of an old tree which grew tall on top the Hill. One hand in his pocket as the other ran his fingers over the markings carved into it's wood by the Weasley family. One engraving in particular. A relatively fresh one where he had carved [Y/N]s name next to his own last Christmas to "officially" mark her as apart of the family.

He recalled the moment vividly. How she questioned his actions, wondering if he'll still love her the same 'down the road', not to regret this decision. "Nah, you're right. I won't love you the same. I'll love you more." He'd said. "But the real question is; will you love me, or are you just going to break my heart?" To be honest. He truly hadn't expected the latter.

He was drawn from his thoughts by the approaching sound of footsteps. Turning his head he rolled his eyes upon realising it was her. "Not now." He growled. "Yes now." She shot back at him standing firm in place.

She'd planned a whole monologue on the walk to him but now that she was here, eyes meeting his, she hadn't a damn clue what to say.

"Until I was 25, I thought the only response to 'I love you' was 'oh, crap!'" She blurted out. Fred looked at her quizzically as the words settled in the air. [Y/N]'s eyes shut for a moment, kicking herself. That wasn't how she intended for the conversation to go. "I'm-I can't say the words" she began again to which Fred scoffed. "Yeah. I gathered that much." "Fred, just shut the fuck up, and listen to me!" Her stare shot daggers into the boy and he found his attention unwavering from her words.

"I didn't have a normal upbringing. I didn't get what you have. I came from a family where love was a weapon. A tool for manipulation. Something that was withheld until you were useful. Something used to excuse shitty behaviour. I didn't get the warm Christmases and intimacy you got. Before you I wasn't sure I knew what love was. My whole life had been cold. Then when you showed up at my door that day it was like hot blood began pumping through my body for the first time. You felt like life when my whole existence has been death. That's when I knew I couldn't live without you. When I knew that I...I can't say it. The words. But not just to you, I can't say them to anyone. It feels unnatural like there's a rope tied around my throat and it suffocates me. And it kills me a little bit. To look into your eyes and know that I - that I still can't - may never ... fuck. I-" [Y/N]s hand came to cover her eyes as tears fell and heartbroken sobs escaped her body.

Fred reacted on instinct, by her side in a second, pulling her into his chest. A hand gripped her back as the other fisted into her hair. "I'm sorry" she cried as he soothed her.

Fred was fighting sobs of his own, feeling as her body shudder against his and she clung to him for support. Because if she didn't her knees would buckle and she'd fall.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I-I had no idea this was...look at me." He held her shoulders taking half a step back to look at her. "I don't care if you never say the words." "But then why-" "I listened to the opinions of four prats who had no business sticking their noses in our relationship." [Y/N] chuckled sadly, wiping tears from her cheeks. "Before they said anything I honestly hadn't noticed because I knew, I know you love me. You don't have to tell me because you show me. It's in your kiss. In your eyes. Your laugh. Your nostrils as they flare when you yell at me after successfully pissing you off. Never be sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so worked up over nothing. Okay?" [Y/N] nodded in response, unable to form a sentence. Smiling sweetly his hand came to caress below her jaw."I love you." "Now you're just rubbing it in." Fred laughed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her lips.

He's pulling away before [Y/N]s pulling him back by the collar of his shirt for a deep and passionate one. Soon breaking in dire need for air.

Her chest is heaving as she catches her breath. His eyes fall shut, pressing his head against hers gently. [Y/N]s eyes are searching his face. Why can't she just tell him? The words, those three stupid little words, are right there tearing at her throat. Wanting to be said. This is real. He is not her parents, not her toxic 'family'. He's Fred. Sweet, caring Fred. Her one and only. He's different.

She swallows hard, mouth going dry, as that familiar tightening takes hold. Trying desperately to rid herself of that strangling sensation that plagues her a trillion times a day. She's staring at him, panic coursing through her bloodstream. Her eyes clench shut as she tries to muster as much strength as she can. "I-" the words are right there. Her voice barely a whisper as she fights that rope. "I love you." [Y/N] gasps for air as a knot in the rope snaps. Eyes widening as her chest shudders before she's smiling. Fresh tears falling in relief and joy.

Fred's eyes spring open, gawking. Did she just...is he-did he imagine that? No. There's no way. "You...you-" "I love you." Her voice louder this time, more assured as a second knot snaps. He doesn't know how to react. Body and mind still processing.

Soon though he's grinning like a madman, spinning her in his arms, feeling happier than he thought possible. Placing her back on the ground both hands cup her face as his lips crash into hers.

They stay like that for a while, in one anothers arms. [Y/N]s kissing him tenderly as she pulls back to whisper the words once more, "I love you." He smiles cockily down at her before his expression shifts to one of mock surprise. "Oh, crap!" he laughs as [Y/N] rolls her eyes. "Ah, Humour based on my pain. Aha-ha-ha. You're such a bastard." She turns to walk off but he grabs her arm. Spinning her back against his chest as his other hand comes to the nape of her neck.

"Not so fast, Princess." He licks his lips smirking, voice low "say it again." She bites her lip suppressing a wide smile. "I love you." He places one final kiss before a wicked grin spreads over his face and he's quickly throwing her over his shoulder.

"Come on, love!" He starts running for the Burrow. "FRED!" [Y/N] squeals. "No time to waste! I told them I'd have to saying it before we leave." "You...oh my god, FRED! Did you place a bet on me!? You absolute GIT!"

"Love you too, sweetheart."

[weloveharrypotter]

She Chose You, Moony Pt. 7

Pairing: Young! Remus Lupin x Baby! Reader

Summary: it’s now Y/n’s birthday, and Remus wants Y/n’s first of many birthdays to go very well

Warnings: cussing?

Remus woke up in the morning silently panicking. It was his pride and joy’s birthday. So everything had to go perfectly.

He slowly took Y/n off of him and laid her on his bed. He gently laid her down and stood up. Luckily it was a Saturday so he had all day to run around and prepare.

He changed into clothes for the day before waking up James.

“Mmm, what? Why are you waking me up so early?” James asked.

“It’s Y/n’s birthday.” Remus said like it was obvious.

“It’s her birthday!?” James asked loudly as he sat up.

“Ssshhhhh, she’s still sleeping.” Remus said looking over to see if she woke up. Luckily she hadn’t.

“Oooh, I have so many ideas.” James said while starting to get ready.

“What I need you to watch her.” Remus said.

“I’m not missing out on planning her party.” James said.

“So Sirius than.” Remus said.

“There’s no way in hell Sirius would missing planning her birthday.” James said.

“Lily?” Remus suggested.

“You know damn well she won’t miss it either.” James said.

“So... Marlene.” James suggested.

“She doesn’t know Marlene.” Remus said.

“Well she’ll have to at some point. She needs to expand her knowledge of people. It’ll happen eventually.” James said.

That’s when Remus remember something.

“That’s true but isn’t Marlene home, she left yesterday remember?” Remus said.

“Shit, that’s right.” James said.

“Why are you guys talking this early?” Sirius said waking up.

“Shhh.” Both Remus and James shushed.

“She’s still sleeping.” James said.

“Sorry.” Sirius said quieter.

“But why are we talking about someone watching Y/n.” Sirius asked.

“Beacuse we can’t leave her alone.” James said.

“Why would we be leaving?” Sirius asked.

“It’s her birthday, how could you two actually not remember?” Remus asked.

“You didn’t tell us-.” “I definitely did.” Remus said quickly.

“Well, we’ll work on commiting that to memory, but while we do that, we should find someone to watch your daughter.” James said.

“So what are our options?” Sirius asked.

“We have no one. Marlene is gone, and Lily and you two would never step down from planning her party, and clearly neither would I.” Remus said.

“I can think of someone.” Sirius said hesitantly.

“Who?” Remus and James asked.

“We’re obviously not very close but... Regulus?” Sirius suggested.

“Regulus?” James asked a little shocked.

“I mean kids make him a little uncomfortable but he’s very good with them.” Sirius explained.

“Are you sure?” Remus asked. Sirius nodded in response.

“Alright, I’ll get her ready.” Remus said as Sirius got up to change.

“I’ll go get Lily.” James said beofre he left.

“Daddy?” He heard Y/n asked. He turned and saw Y/n sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Happy birthday darling.” Remus said as he walked over and picked her up.

Y/n smiled recalling when her dad had told her about birthdays and why there important.

“Thank you.” She said.

“Alright, I need to get you dressed.” Remus said placing her down.

“No I want to do it.” Y/n said.

“O-oh, alright then.” Remus said a little confused.

They walked over to her bag, and he sat down. The opened it up and went to dig through, but Y/n slapped his hand away.

“I Wanna pick.” Y/n said looking through the clothes.

Remus smiled amused at his daughters behavior. But than it hit him.

She wanted to dress herself. She wanted to pick out her own outfit.

She wanted to do something for herself. She was starting to grow up. His heart ached at the idea of hi baby girl, growing up, and not needing him.

Y/n pulled out a body piece top that was yellow and had purple flowers on it. It had widened sleeves at the forearm, and it was cold shoulder. She had also pulled out ripped jeans and matching yellow sneakers.

“Alright, you sure you don’t need help?” Remus asked.

“Yup.” She said as she ran off to the other side of the bed where she wouldn’t be seen.

Remus sighed as he waited. He didn’t like that she was starting to grow up. He missed how things were about a month ago.

Where he got to pick out her outfits and change her, and she was an adorable little baby, not that she isn’t now, who needed him for everything.

Soon enough Y/n finished changing and came back out.

“I’m ready.” She said.

“You look beautiful darling.” He said.

“Thank you.” She replied.

“Alright, there someone I want you to meet.” Remus said.

“Who?” Y/n asked.

“I’ll tell you when we get there ok, but you have to be quiet on our way over. You can ask as many questions as you want when we get there.” Remus said and Y/n nodded.

—————

Sirius had demanded that he carried Y/n while they made their way to the slytherin dorms.

They snuck past the waking student and managed to get to Regulus’ room.

Luckily Regulus’ parents were rich, and liked him, so they paid for him to have his own room. Sirius sighed before knocking on his door.

After a moment they heard shuffling and the door opened to reveal Regulus dressed for the day.

Sirius pushed past him and Remus and James followed him.

Regulus whilst confused shut the door and walked in front of Sirius and only got more confused at the sight.

“Sirius why do you have a baby?” Regulus asked.

“Don’t worry she’s not mine. She’s Remus’.” Sirius said.

“That was less suspected.” Regulus muttered.

“Why are you holding her like that.” Remus asked as he looked over to Sirius.

Sirius had his arms wrapped around her torso as she faced outward with her back pressed to his stomach.

“It’s fun and comfortable. She doesn’t mind it.” Sirius said. They looked down at Y/n who just wasn’t paying attention and looking around.

Remus walked over and took her from Sirius which made him pout.

“Regulus this is Y/n, Y/n this is Regulus.” Remus said.

“Hello.” Regulus said.

Y/n shyly waved back. Y/n was very capable of talking, she’s been doing it since her first words, but she didn’t do it often.

“So why are you here?” He asked.

“Well it’s Y/n’s birthday and we need to prepare, but we can’t leave her alone.” Remus explained.

“No, I don’t know how to-.” Regulus was cut off by Sirius taking Y/n and putting he in his arms.

“Please. Today needs to be perfect.” James begged.

Regulus sighed.

“Alright.” He said. “When will you be back.” He asked.

“About 2pm.” James answered.

“2pm!? It’s a one year olds birthday party!” Regulus said.

“Exactly, one year old, her first one. So it has to be amazing.” Sirius said. Regulus sighed and nodded.

“Alright darling.” Remus said walking of to Y/n. Y/n looked up hearing her dads voice.

“I have to go but I promise I’ll be back, and we’ll have lots of fun and we’ll celebrate.” Remus said.

“No. No. No. No.” Y/n said as she shook her head.

“It’ll be alright darling, I’ll be right back.” He said as he hugged and kissed her.

He went to walked away but she gripped his jacket, but he proved her off.

“No! Please stay! Daddy please don’t leave!” Y/n begged as she started to cry.

Remus’s heart broke, and he went to go turn around, but his friends grabbed him.

“You can’t feed into it.” They said as they pushed him out.

Y/n cried as the door shut and she could no longer see her dad.

She wiggled and Regulus set her down. She ran to the door, and he followed her at a normal pace which was more than enough to keep up.

He saw her jump for the door knob, and he held the door shut above her. He noted she kept missing considering she was only one, but also shorter for her age.

Once Y/n realized she wasn’t getting out she sat on the ground and cried. Regulus felt bad but he knew better than to feed into the crying.

“He’ll be back.” Regulus said as he turned around and went back to his bed, and resumed on some homework.

After a little bit Y/n pulled herself together, whipped her tears, and looked around. She knew there was something in here that could help.

That’s when she spotted books. She pushed herself up and moved the books over to the door.

She climbed on top, and she was able to reach the door knob. She twisted it open but it was immediately shut. She looked up and saw Regulus standing above her looking down.

“You can’t leave.” He said as he picked her up and moved the books onto a desk.

“Why?” She said.

“It’s not safe for you to be without an adult.” Regulus said as he put her down and sat on his bed.

“I’m a big girl I can take care of myself.” Y/n said crossing her arms.

Regulus was pretty surprised. He knew it wasn’t impossible for a one year old to be able to have a conversation but, it wasn’t likely.

“I’m sure you are a big girl, but there are bad people out there. And they aren’t nice at all, and they would love to be mean to you. So you can’t go out on your own.” He explained.

Y/n huffed as he went back to his homework. After a minute he felt a tug on his blanket. He looked down and saw Y/n trying to climbed up.

He leaned over and lifted her up, and she sat next to his work. She watched as he looked for something in his text book.

“That’s pretty.” She said pointing at the essay he was writing.

“Thank you.” He said.

“What is it?” She asked.

“It’s an essay.” He responded. “An essay is when you write a lot to answer a question. You’ll learn about when your older.” He said before she could ask.

“What’s does it say?” She asked.

“You can’t read?” He asked more monotoned.

“No... is that bad?” She asked a little worried.

“Not at all. It’s normal for kids your age to not know how.” He answered.

“Teach me.” Y/n said.

“Your sure?” He asked. Y/n nodded.

He looked through his books before pulling one that was appropriate enough for her age. He pulled one out.

He was sure she was going to get frustrated and bored, and than give up. But he thought it was better to let her learn herself than shield her.

He sat down and opened the book.

“Ready?” He asked.

—————

(A/N): Thank you for reading, I’ll be posting the next part today as well. The series isn’t over. 😊

[arctimon]

It’s so funny how my mind just comes up with random things from the show that just get expanded upon infinitely until I have to get them down on paper. One of the unresolved plot points from Big Hero 6: The Series is the Cruzes.  Both Megan and Diego failed to make an appearance in Season 3.  Given that said season was simply a mish-mash of different stories with only a little of continuity between them, this made sense. It makes less sense when you remember that Chief Cruz was suppose to be the antagonist of the second half of Season 2.

Megan’s absence from the list of possible replacements for Honey Lemon, Go Go, and Wasabi in “HPPPT” is even more bizzare, since she literally helped Hiro in “Legacies” and proved herself to be at least competent with the ninja suit.

Those are all finer details that I’m sure I’ll talk about in future posts, but right now...I want to go back even further in the past. We know about Diego’s past with superheroes; his father was killed after a night out, and Boss Awesome was too late to save his life.  We also know at some point, he moved out of the city and then an unknown amount of time later, he came back with Megan. The problem is...we don’t have any idea just how much time passed between those two events.

We know that Cass and Diego knew each other back then, and we can also assume that it was probably during their younger years.  In “Fred The Fugitive”, while on their date friend excursion, they reminisce a little bit: Cass:  Who wants small plates?  Remember Joe’s?  The plates were big and the waiters didn’t hate you. Diego:  *laughing*  I used to love going there...’til we moved. Cass:  Well, you never told me why you moved away. Diego:  Yeah, I don’t talk about it much.  Uhh...what happened was- And then the conversation gets interrupted by Fred’s shenanigans and the officers chasing him.

A couple of things to take from this conversation.  One...Joe’s is apparently the happenin‘ place to be for kids these days. ...Sorry.  The old man in me broke through. Second, you can tell that Cass and Diego were at least close enough to hang out with each other.  Maybe they went to school together or something like that.  That was probably where Diego got his crush on her.

Yeah, it’s kind of obvious. But putting that aside, shouldn’t Cass...know the reason why he moved away?  Was it not the death of his dad that was the reason?

Unless that wasn’t the reason. Remember in “Something’s Fishy” at the very beginning of the episode when Cass is talking to Hiro about Megan?

Cass:  Well, hit pause because I have some very exciting news.  I ran into an old friend who just moved back to San Fransokyo...and *pause because Fred invisible shenanigans* he has a daughter named Megan, and she’s the same age as you! We can assume from this that Diego moved away more than 14 years ago, because Cass’s tone and dialogue makes me believe that Megan was not around (or born, or perhaps even a thought at that point) when Diego left.  It’s hard to narrow down an approximate timeline because we’re not even given ages of Cass and Diego.  I’ve always assumed they were in their mid 40s, but that still wouldn’t mean anything if we’re not given any references to when he left. Another quick note is Diego’s use of the word “we”.  “We moved.”  And then Cass follows that up with “you moved”. Now perhaps Diego is referring to his family, which we can reasonably assume would be he and his mom.  Never mind the fact that his mom never gets mentioned whatsoever. But of course, when have I ever reasonably assumed anything? And this is where the wild theorizing part of me comes in. What if the reason that Diego moved away...was Megan? From Megan’s appearances in the show, she doesn’t appear to have any attachment to the city either.  The only reason she seems to gravitate to Joe’s Diner is because of Diego. And notice how there is a missing player in this whole thing:  Megan’s mom. Who is Megan’s mom? She doesn’t get mentioned at all.  What is with Cruzes and their moms not being mentioned?

Anyway, that’s a mystery that I’ve been trying to solve in the course of my stories.  Megan herself is getting invested in trying to find out who it is, because even she doesn’t know. Wonder whether that will ever show up again. Maybe in my dreams at 2 in the morning when I’m suppose to be sleeping.

[pansyslut]

soulmate

draco x reader

warnings : none just fluff

everyone is born with a simple tattoo on their wrist. it could be a dot, a line, a circle. whenever you meet your soulmate, it starts to get more detailed. everyone’s tattoo was different. and you wouldn’t know you have met your soulmate until your tattoo started to expand, slowly over time.

meeting draco

it had been late, at a slytherin party. there was no particular celebration- just an excuse to get drunk. you knew of draco. everyone did. but you had only heard what everyone knew. draco malfoy: slytherin prince, obvious daddy issues, don’t get on his bad side. before that night, you had never really given him a second glance. tending to stick by yourself, or with your small group of friends.

you had drunkenly been walking back to your room as you smashed into a very drunk draco. “watch where you’re going, y/l/n.” he said with disgust and walked off, taking another swig of his beer.

not thinking anything of it, you walked off and went about your day. you hadn’t even thought to look down at your tattoo. it was always there, it never changed. you had grown accustomed to it.

acceptance

the next day, you were in the library studying for the O.W.L.S. it was late so there were only a few students scattered throughout.

“is someone sitting here?” you look up to see draco malfoy himself. wondering what he would want to do with you, you just shake your head.

“what’s with the change of attitude? not sure if you were even sober enough to remember but you were the biggest ass not even 24 hours ago.” you said with your nose still in your book.

“i’m sorry, y/n.”

“wha- what? draco malfoy apologizing to me? are you feeling alright?” you said jokingly while feeling his cheeks for a tempature but he swats your hand away.

it was then you had realized that there were little pettles starting to form on your tattoo. how long has this been there? it could’ve been growing for days and i hadn’t even realized.

you had completely forgot draco was even there. you just sat there, infactuated with your growing tat. draco had broken you out of your trance by grabbing your wrist and putting his wrist next to it.

you begun to realize what he was trying to say. your tattoos were identical. a single flower on both of your wrists.

“y/n? say something.”

you continued to sit there, gaping with your mouth open in silence.

“i meant what i said.” draco continued on, “i’m sorry for being an arse. it was my fault. i just- i’m a twit when i’m drunk- i know. well… i’m a twit when i’m not drunk as well so i guess that doesn’t mean much” he says quietly. sounding like he was really just thinking out loud rather than talking to me. you giggled and took his hand and his eyes went wide, realizing he had said that last part out loud.

“anyways... what i mean is...” he struggled to get his words out, “go out with me.” he finished. the last part was more of a jumble of words rather than a scentence like someone had forced it out of his mouth.

“i would love to, draco.”

first date

you had spent the rest of the week giving little glances and secret blushes at one another. who knew malfoy could blush? i most certainly didn’t. his friends teased him about it relentlessly.

the weekend approaching, you decided to confront draco yourself this time. he had been sitting next to a tree, eating an apple, with a book in his hand.

“good afternoon, dray”

“y/n, dearest. do sit with me” he said patting the patch of grass next to him.

you both made small talk while trying to keep the undying tension at ease. it was obvious neither of you saw this coming. you don’t even remember a time you had even talked to draco or at least had a full blown conversation. it became natural to talk to him. it felt as if you had been old friends and were casually catching up.

“i’m glad you found me, y/n/n. i was about to come get you. i have a surprise for you.” he said getting up and grabbing your hand. “should i be worried?” you said.

“not at all. i think you’ll like at. at least- i hope you will.” he said. if you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought he was nervous. but the draco malfoy never gets nervous- especially not for a girl.

he walked you over to the lake, where you saw an assortment of foods on a little picnic blanket, out looking the sunset.

“draco, this is beautiful.” you said pulling him into a hug.

“really? i was worried you wouldn’t like it. i’ve never really done something like this for a girl.”

you spent the next hour eating, telling each other childhood stories, stories about doing stupid things with your friends. he made d everything seem so easy. so effortless. he calmed your nerves down within minutes as you laughed together.

a month later

you and draco had begun to gain a lot of attention from surrounding students. i guess that comes with the territory with him. you had expected many girls to be mad but at the end of the day, you were soulmates. no matter how annoying pansy or any other girl would bug draco, there was nothing they could do.

slowly but surely draco had started opening up. sure, he had told you many things about his family and a few stories about his childhood here and there but you could tell he was always holding back. like he was trying to filter every little thing he would say.

he also began showering you in gifts. you realized very early on that that was his love language. flowers, neckaces, you favorite foods. he thought of everything. he even got you matching snake rings that you both wore on your middle finger.

growth

your tattoo had grown tremendously. blooming into several little flowers, forming a bouquet. everytime you looked down at it a smile formed on your face.

you and draco had come so far. from not talking to him insulting you to him being the sweetst boy to now a year together. his mother had said you were still in the “honeymoon phase” when draco had pointed out how perfectly everything worked out. you rarely fought, you meshed together perfectly, not too much, not too little. just right. it felt perfect.

he was your soulmate and you were his. you couldn’t help but thank the gods above. there was nothing you would change.

a/n : okay so... i am very well aware that this isn’t my best story. but i really like soulmate stories and i wanted to get a story out today. i’ve been on a roll!! i’ve posted twice the past two days so it felt wrong not posting today. i should probably space out my posting more hahaha. please send in requests because i would much rather write something i know people would enjoy. i’ve noticed that certain things flop. you are welcome to view my prompt list or even just send in a little summary of an idea you have would be great :)