#exclusionism cw

[miyako-jonathan-asgore-simp]

EVERYBODY HATES ME EVERYBODY HATES ME EVERYBODY HATES ME EVERYBODY HATES ME

I WANNA KILL MYSELF SO HARD. I SUCK ASS. NO WONDER WHY AUTISTIC ADULTS HATE ME TOO. IM A FUCKING LOSER, AUTISTIC TEENAGERS SHOULD DIE, SPECIALLY THE ONES ON THEIR PERIOD FOR BEING EMOTIONAL, EXAGGERATED AND SUCKING AT INTERPRETING TEXT. HAVING FEELINGS IS WRONG. BEING NORMAL IS WRONG. HAVING TRIGGERS FOR DRUGS IS WRONG. FUCK ALL OF YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU! I AM CUTTING MYSELF AND THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

[garfunkopop]

jesus fuck i cant stop thinking about this post that said "a lesbian could be a cis man for all i care" babe THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

that and people saying u can be multisexual and monosexual at the same time. i get that queer identities can be confusing but this genuinely doesnt make any buttfucking sense

[human-rodent-king]

the post about having love in your heart was not about romance it was about having appreciation for the world around you

Saying "love is the most important thing ever" (paraphrased) is exclusionary language and amatonormativity. Are you aware that aplatonics exist? Have you heard of loveless aros? Honestly, if you're gonna be exclusionist you can at least wait until it isn't Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Month.

[scp3199]

Me when I have no friends who like Midnight Horror School cuz all of them left me and rather be friends with a exclusionist than me (the exclus said bullshit about how apparently, “Trans men can’t be lesbians”) (You also just discovered that your a Trans Man, making it doubly painful):

[enbyman]

"the ONE and ONLY orientation that has NOTHING to do with men" says the person while in fact there are a bunch of orientations that do not include attraction to men

But yeah I do not expect that exclusionists get their head out of their own asses

Like, the funny thing is how people turn the tables on this site. Apparently defending ourselves against attacks is harassment. Refuting ridiculous and ahistorical arguments like these is harassment. Sometimes I think these people just don't read the things they post or think about their own opinions. They just want to hate gratuitously, because how horrible it is to accept the existence of people different from you, isn't??

[my-strange-attraction]

i think you might be stupid as hell because that last bit on your posts about studs is what lesbians have been saying about our label for fucking ever when it comes to your demand for the inclusion of men (you KNOW i am not talking about trans women. i’m talking about cis and trans men.) I can feel your cognitive dissonance and it is amazing.

also butch/femme are lesbian exclusive identities because they only make sense in lesbian context (subversion of gender roles, presentation, OFOS, ect ect). same goes for stud. literally you do not know what you’re talking about. PLEASE do actual research when it comes to these labels before talking about them and not a quick look at a fandom wiki.

Ok see the other reason I was hesitant to post my response to that ask was because I KNEW this would be the response from those of you who are still lurking from that drama.

The WHOLE POINT of my response was that race matters are different than other queer matters. They just are. It’s not cognitive dissonance, it’s just the truth, but you want so badly for me to contradict myself that you would pretend otherwise until your dying breath.

Also I’ve never been involved in discussions about the stud label, but I have been in discussions about the others. I downplayed it because it hasn’t been my FOCUS because up until recently I was too nervous to explore them because I didn’t identify as lesbian yet, and I didn’t realize what I know now, which is that, though they originated in the lesbian community, they can describe all sapphic people (this includes bisexuals and others who are not solely attracted to women!).

You said they only make sense in lesbian context but you really didn’t explain yourself there so I don’t even know how to refute it. I think it makes sense in any sapphic context, personally, and a lot of my queer (AND LESBIAN) friends agree. I’m tired of bending over backwards to over explain myself to you people so I’m just not going to do it.

I’m going to say it one last time, even if it will still probably fall to deaf ears: other lesbians saying they can be/have been attracted to men does not “demand,” in your words, the lesbian label to include men. It just does for them, because sexuality is weird and people are different, and there can be a variety of different reasons why someone feels most comfortable using a label.

I use the label personally because even though I can sometimes (??? still figuring it out) be attracted to men, I am not interested in dating any. It’s more functional for me than bi or pan. Would you keep me from using it just because, for me, it includes attraction to men? And if you include me, why not include bi lesbians as well?

I almost deleted this one. At what point does defending myself become redundant?

[ix-c-999]

A lot of people would not be happy with my conclusion of "sometimes it isn't societal factors, sometimes it's just a person being shitty", but after having questioned for SO long why my abuser did what he did, I finally have some modicum of peace if I think about it not as something that happened due to wider societal factors but because one individual person was okay with doing something wrong.

It's not because of his identity. It's not because he was bigoted against demographics that I'm either in or that he could have conceivably seen me as. It's not because of the shitty job he had or the stress from the pandemic.

He just had personal flaws that he had the power to work on but that he didn't work on, and those flaws made him do something very shitty. But he did that because of himself, not because of things outside of himself or because of identities that were innate to him.

Sometimes, people are shitty because they're shitty.

[campgender]

do you have any more sources related to futch history/historical documentations of the word futch? i keep seeing people say its invalid bc of that one meme and it makes me sad but looking at the history behind the term makes me feel better

🥺💓 hi this ask means so much to me omg, i love futches with my whole heart (& someone very dear to me is both butch & femme❣️) so it's really important to me to showcase those experiences & history when i can! unfortunately i haven't come across a ton about the topic but my double role playing tag contains all posts i've posted or reblogged about futch identity, history, or vibes. if i'm able to poke around more later i will definitely update if i find anything else relevant!

i think you've already seen this but for anyone else using this post as a resource, this excerpt of Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold discusses individuals who occupied both butch & femme roles in the 1950s (cw exclusionism but some people discuss becoming more inclusive). the word futch wasn't used at the time to my/the authors' knowledge but there have been people who resonate with both butch & femme roles for as long as butch & femme roles have been played!

i've posted a couple excerpts of "Futch: Thoughts from the Borderlands" by Elaine Miller (part 1; part 2) but i couldn't find a full text to link you to so i also uploaded the whole thing (read here). it's from the 2011 Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme anthology & she discusses identifying as futch since roughly 1995

this mini interview with elaine miller in 2011 to promote the anthology:

I’d like folks to go so far as to possess a sweeping sense of entitlement around nuanced gender expression.

a brief look at stem(me) history by @leikeliscomet is an incredible resource & i'm so grateful for the research that went into it [ofc not all stem(me)s are futch & certainly not all futches are stem(me) but interrelated topics]

it would still be completely okay to identify as futch if it were a newer identity, & there wouldn't be anything wrong with resonating with & claiming a term from a meme—but futch has simply been around longer than most people want to think.

[fanby-fckry]

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[trueeyecoremedkit]

Hello there,, i know its old post but i came in peace to say that i ACTUALLY know what happened to this sensory room + behind the scenes.

originally i was thinking about reposting this,, but its time to step up to myself.

CW: this story is long but i tried my best to understand how to formulate how did crazyee’s downfall ended. BUT i will NOT give screenshots cuz one of my friends might be mad if I doubt their privacy. Otherwise my friends would kick my arse if they found out. But i respect them.

also major CW: of anti-good faith. Our misspellings is bad, so i apologize if its hard to read.

its finally time i want to talk about this since i know the discourse is over but i know there’s still some,, but its time to that i spoke about this as a person who used to play this because of their sensory themed of theres and also modded there(Except i was active but MOSTLY not active in discord)

So i wanted to say im in the wrong for working there even the whole sensory room is BASED on the raid itself taken thru ASR.

also i wont say any mods + owners names of the sensory room because i dont tolerate harassment over them ^__^,, But i would label then in colors in order to understand them. So heres my story;

So back in the discourse around like ASR getting raided, i was upset about how people raided the sensory as it all started with tiktok, then i was like “…wow what happened to the sensory room i used to play”

then i heard people in tiktok posts rlly rlly nasty and hateful words about good-faith identities. Thats when i first heard about the term “lesboy” then i was confused. As one of tiktok people give out misinformation.

But then I’ve decided to look up in the lesboy carrd and wiki. i was like “Hm. Thats interesting but why do people hate on this pretty color flag its not harmful towards people…”

But i saw the term “butch woman” then my mind started to understand the terminology how lesboy and other good faith labels work + history of them.

Fast forward as we skip to this;

As i founded the this sensory called “Crazyzee’s sensory room”(this is where the sensory got popular) as it used to have lots of players,,

as when i saw that sensory room i though “Ouhh that sensory room had my interest!” As they have different rooms cubbies (bfbi, scenecore and etc).

TDLR; looking back what i’ve done is, i would say I love the owner’s sensory room themed room but I learned myself FROM separate from the owner from their sensory room themed.

but then next few days i rejoined the sensory room it said “We don’t support ASR and lesboys” as shown with lesboy flag crossed with a big X. As i was shock to see how the owners are doing.

Then i thought of a idea to “work” in that sensory room because i was so memorized by their sensory themed because we saw the owner had our interests. My mind says this “what if i worked there, To get more info about this sensory room” and, guess what? I did in a way to like spy on them… so yeah.

This part when i started to actually doing this l in the sensory room but the WHOLE time i wasn’t doing my job but playing around with mod commands this whole time.

So when i joined Crazyee’s discord server(which its also now deleted.) as how i started posting my arts and 3D modeling, one of the members in our experience are oddly “nice”.

One thing caught my eye is while i was in the discord server one of mod actually pinged me and i was told to they’ll draw my split with wings avatar(character from regretevator)

As They did drew my avatar, i really liked how they drew it.

but then next few days, I decided to apply for being a mod of crazyee’s (FYI: the owner was a minor and the co-owner is a adult, it make sense why theres adults and minors working as a mod. So i was one myself but again, i was playing around my job and doing nothing)

—— side note: after what i experienced as a ex-mod, now i understand why people let mods be 18+ and older. Unless you experience handle trolls, and rlly icky stuff.

then when I’ve applied for crazyee’s, the co-owner gave my role “super admin” also not to mention the game had kohls admin not HD admin. So it makes sense why kohls can have more advanced but little bugged stuff unlike HD admin.

So my experience from CSR is;

also i wanna add in that im quite neutral to the mods but some of them i used to work with, but theres ONE mod who places myself down. One time while trying one time i’ve banned a person who made people in the server discomfort/triggers, and one of the mods DM me and told me.

“Heyyy, noooo don’t do that you must be specific about this,, ” bro, what? What im not supposed to do? Not ban them??? then after while. They’ve called me a Failure for banning people because of i banned people because of their discomfort or someone rude to them..

my experience there was that i saw lots of people has “lesboysArentVaild” on their names. So i can’t help but feel bad for lesboys as when internet hate is too far

When i checked through my banlist, I saw angel and the mods was one of them in it also ban users who identify as good faith identities. I was genuinely hurt how i see TRUE colors of the owners of the sensory room.

also another fyi; i banned people that ONLY breaks the rules but i don’t banned lesboys like the other staff members do. I know it sounds crazy coming from what CSR did. But I DID my own rules NOT to do it, cuz idc abt the actual game’s rules.

but as we reached here to the downfall part;

as i was working as a mod with rest of the mods, one of the mods are overwhelmed while i was in-game doing events with the players. While i was partying with others, i checked back on the discord mod chat as i was expecting to see mods and owners doing fine. — also side note: i used to be that mod who loves being event planner playing around despite doing my ‘mod’ duties.

BUT i was wrong about that, the mods and owners were fighting as i heard from as the mods asked the owner ‘if they could have a break’ because i know moderation can be tiring at times.

But the owners refuses to accept that as it took a BIG toll of fight while i was unaware. TLDR; the owner actually announced the server that they’ve disbanded the mods then deleted the discord server, let alone left everyone confusion and no whereabouts. Because turns out the owner of CSR(Crayzee’s) was selfish and self-oriented all-along.

BUT after what happened to my mistake working at that horrible sensory room even tho the owners wasn’t taking care of the game seriously, leaving the mods to work… but i understand we have lives to go people, but atleast try to sometimes check it instead relying on the mods to check 24/7 unless theres major problems like trolls, raids and etc.

conclusion;

so thats how the game FULLY shut down due to what happened to discord mod chat,, as the mods was heated and overwhelmed while i was confused what went wrong.

Since I decided to not talk to the staff teams after what i was treated by ONE mod because i was upset how they’ve called me a failure as i can’t helpfully explain myself due to my learning disability caught up with me./upset

I decided to say im very sorry to any lesboy and good faith identities who WAS victim(harassment, death threats, and etc) to the whole discourse about how TikTok(mainly) demonized and give away misleading info of them, which i was actually remorseful for myself as a person who used to be nonbinary lesbian in the past as it became more harmful that people make fun of them in TikTok.

I’ve learned my past mistakes but I decided building a sensory/hangout room of my own based on my interests.

So now that you’ve know what happened AFTER last year’s incident, i’m mostly gonna apologize for ASR team even Angel for the toll and stress from their sensory room being raided by exclusions. Anyways finally that being said,

I hope anyone having a great day/night. Because i can’t keep hiding this from my stress much longer. Thinking about this today is just giving me memories how I was feeling./srs

[edited some of the text due to grammar,,]

—— Poached John doe[He/them]

peace and love on planet earth

[my-strange-attraction]

A Treatise on why Label Policing is Bad

Alternatively named: I do have reading comprehension, you're just a goddamn adult who somehow doesn't know that people can disagree with you for fully thought out and informed reasons and not be a bad person.

I'm kinda tired and don't wanna get riled up because I have work early tomorrow morning but I don't wanna forget to make this post so I'm just gonna jump right into it. I got in a dispute, here's the context for the post in pictures:

(Under the cut because I know this is going to be a long one, but please read if you have the spoons because I think it's important)

The original post:

The self-reblog from OP continuing the rant:

And my response:

You could argue I was asking for OP to get mad at me and write a big post then block me. You would probably be right, but I thought it was important. This IS where radical feminism starts, and I thought it was important to point that out and warn people against it. Also if you've been with me for a while, you know that label anarchy is my whole schtick. I do not stand for label policing, it's just simply one of the worst offenses in my world.

Anyways they answered back. I'm going to go through their answer point by point because they (and some of their followers who anon'ed me) really thought they got me good and disproved all my points. And I still think this is an important subject, so I will gladly take the chance to elaborate my points.

Nope, next question. No, but in all seriousness, there is a huge difference in being frustrated about how people are perceiving a label that you're using versus trying to define that label for everyone else who uses it.

Newsflash: people can use labels in different ways! Label fluidity 101 example is bi vs pan. People use these labels for different reasons and there is so much overlap that there can't really be a solid difference between the two that encompasses all the reasons someone might choose one over the other. Hell, maybe they just like the flag better.

You don't have to be a label anarchist like me to concede that point (although I do highly recommend, being a label anarchist is a blast) and if you understand that, then there's really not that much of a jump to understand why someone might want to microlabel (e.g. bi lesbian) or why someone who might more accurately be described as bi might want to use lesbian as a descriptor instead.

Part of being queer is finding joy in identity. Would you really deny someone else that right?

Gonna be real with you, I don't do background checks when I'm reblogging. I did a cursory glance of your blog just because I was doing a long response and wanted to be sure you weren't actually just a terf. Sue me.

Couple points here. One, words are made up, and the definitions of them are constantly evolving. I'm a writer so I'm absolutely more obnoxious about this than other people, but if you want to change the definition of a word, literally all you have to do is use it in that way enough, and people will understand what you're saying. Especially with identity words.

Two, who is "we"? Lesbians in general? We are not a monolith. I am one, and I don't agree that it's a hard boundary. I do agree that in the general sense of the word, used in it's truest form, it excludes men. That doesn't mean it's always used that way, for the aforementioned reasons.

Three, jesus christ I can't believe you're doing the one where you imply that me saying words are made up is what makes men rape women. Biphobia was created on that fallacy.

See above: bi and pan example. Bi lesbian and bi can be functionally the same label, but for some people, the former is just a more comfortable descriptor.

Nah, I advocate for both microlabeling and macrolabeling because literally none of it matters or hurts anyone. People should get to identify however they feel suits them best. That's part of the joy of being queer.

Also, as I mentioned, I'm a writer and I LOVE playing with words. I'm also a philosophy nerd which might explain why I'm so fucking cerebral about it all. Not everyone has to be like me in regards to how they view labels, I understand that I am absolutely the extreme, but everyone should be allowed to because, I repeat, NOBODY IS BEING HURT BY IT.

I ignored that part of the post because I am not a men's rights activist. I thought Barbie 2023 was too nice to the Kens in the end. I'm a misandrist (ok that's mostly a joke). That part wasn't for me.

Heh, just plain wrong. My college, which I have attended for the past three years and where I am currently in my last year, has an over 70% queer population. Not gonna dox myself, but it's well known for being one of the queerest schools in the US. I am constantly talking to Real Actual Queer People face to face. Also I'm mostly on tumblr for the fandoms. This is just my queer sideblog.

I'm an English major, bro. Reading comprehension is kinda my job. And that's a lazy gotcha by the way, that's just the easiest way to discount someone who you disagree with on the internet. Be more creative.

Also DNIs are kind of a hazy concept tbh. The DNI was listed on your pinned post, not the post which I reblogged. In hindsight, you may have put it in the tags of the original post, as all I saw was a reblog, but you have to understand that the internet as a whole is kind of moving away from DNIs because they're so nebulous and weird and hard to follow. Also I thought your post was problematic so I wanted to say it. The morality there is kinda shaky, I'll admit. There, one point for you. I don't regret it.

Something tells me you don't actually wish me the best...

+ bonus the tags

Don't have time? This is a pretty long post. Though to be fair I don't have the time either, it is way too late for me to be up responding to this, so I'll give you benefit of the doubt.

I am a full time student and work two campus jobs, plus have rehearsals and clubs most nights. I do admit to spending a lot of time scrolling on tumblr, but at least I'm not embarrassed by it like you seem to be.

You are four years older than me, not ten. You're not even 30 yet. Chill, ok? And maybe don't go around throwing the kys word when talking to someone you disagree with on the internet, someone might take it the wrong way.

For some reason I don't think you were laughing typing up this reply...

Anyway, that's it. I spent way too much brain energy on this, but it was important, so if you made it this far, thanks for putting up with my rambly ways. If you saw a typo, no you didn't. I'm tired.

[our-mspec-experience]

I am so angry and I worry about talking about it on my blog where people I know irl will see it and be able to guess who I'm talking about. It's not my place to air out someone else's fears to them, but I gotta tell someone.

Sorry, I'll start at the beginning, cw for biphobia and exclusionism:

A younger bisexual told me she had been worried about coming to a queer event I help organize bc she was scared she'd be interrogated on her queerness and found lacking for "only" being bi. I did my best to reassure her and point out that there's no hierarchy and of course bisexuality is "queer enough" to be queer, but inside I was seething. This is what all that exclusionist bullshit leads to: a young bisexual scared to seek out her own damn community bc exclus have decided there's such a thing as "not queer enough".

Is this your idea of "protecting the community", exclus? Did you successfully sniff out the "fakers"? Are you fucking proud of yourselves for how well you're keeping out those pesky cishets who are totally trying to invade our community at every turn??

I'm aro and pansexual. According to exclus, I am less queer than her. And yet I am the one who gets to be secure in the knowledge that the event is for me, too, while she was scared to come.

Exclus are a fucking blight upon this community.

Well you absolutely did the right thing by reassuring her, and I hope you’re event went well! i agree completely, anyone who excludes people from the queer community are terrible, and no one is “more queer” than anyone else!

[neopronouns]

Bilensman/woman were coined by @/parxgender (cw: exclusionism)

ah, found them. ye, they're similar, though bimancenic/biwomancenic don't inherently mean that one isn't a man/woman outside the lens of their bisexuality, just that their bisexuality and manhood/womanhood are intertwined in some way

[sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler]

I was just reminded of a LPS video I watched early in my gay journey about different labels & how it brought up genderfluidity. (CW for anti-genderfluidity, exclusionism)

in that like- bubbly tone kids videos have it basically said "genderfluidity actually isnt valad 🥰 its ACTUALLY just trans ppl w/ fluctuating levels of dysphoria 🤓" & even that early on i was just like- no? How do you come to that conclusion? (I can see how but it's very misguided).

I think of this occasionally but only just realized that if I didnt know better by that point it could have actually convinced me of what it was saying & how it's kinda fucked up that that video had a platform (or has, it's been a few years idk)

[fanby-fckry]

Tags to Block:

Please send me an ask if you need something tagged. New tags may be added as they come up; these are just the most common ones.

Light Tags:

#not fandom — non-fandom posts I was so inconsistent with this tag that I made a new blog for non-fandom posts: @fagdyke-fckry

#eyestrain — potential eyestrain

#flash warning — flashing, strobing, or fast moving images

#undescribed — images without image descriptions

#artistic nudity — nonsexual nudity

#osha violation — not safe for work catchall tag

#suggestive, #not osha compliant — previously used nsfw tags for more specific categories; trying to sort them was hurting my brain

Heavy Tags:

In alphabetical order

#ableism cw — mentions/discussions of ableism; including saneism

#addiction cw — mentions/discussions of addiction; including substance addiction, gambling addiction, etc.; not including recreational drug use if addiction isn’t mentioned/implied in the post

#aphobia cw — mentions/discussions of aphobia, acephobia, arophobia, aro/ace-exclusionism, and acecourse

#arachnophobia cw — photos or other realistic images of spiders

#biphobia cw — mentions/discussions of biphobia and bi exclusionism

#discourse cw — fandom discourse, queer discourse/infighting

#fatphobia cw — mentions/discussions of fatphobia, weight bias, diet culture, etc.

#gore cw — fictional/illustrated/special effects gore

#homophobia cw — mentions/discussions of homophobia

#paranoia cw — anything that might trigger paranoia

#queerphobia cw — umbrella tag for mentions/discussions of bigotry against any queer identity

#racism cw — mentions/discussions of racism

#saneism cw — mentions/discussions of saneism, bigotry towards any mental illness or neurodivergence; including the concept of ‘narc abuse’ and similar hate towards people with personality disorders

#scopophobia cw — scopophobia triggers; images of eyes, implications of being watched

#sexual assault cw — mentions/discussion of sexual abuse, sexual assault, sex trafficking and rape

#transphobia cw — mentions/discussions of transphobia, trans exclusionism, TERFs, transmedicalism, trans gatekeeping, and other such nonsense

#unreality cw — anything that might induce a sense of unreality

[scp3199]

I really hate myself for getting tricked by:

Global Warming Denialers

Exclusionists

Proshippers

And now: Gen AI bros

Why am I this gullible? /neg