#except when i eat 200+ ants with them :((

[bleep-bloop-boo]

you seem cool but I'm too scared to talk to you so I'm sending you this ask anonymously fnejjajdaaahhhh

-oreo anon

fhdxnsdjfgh ME?? COOL?? THANK YOU SO MUCH- YOU ARE SO WRONG, BUT NOW THAT WE'RE BESTIES YOULL REALIZE THAT SOON :DD WERE BESTIES BTW! HI OREO ANONONON how are you todayy

[hanadolphieron]

WE HIT 200 EVERYBODY!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 200 FOLLOWERS!!! I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!!!

and you guys know what i promised whenever i reached this milestone...

MY EIGHTH GRADE STORY ABOUT A MONGOOSE!

it’s not 2.6k words what are you talking about

@sarahbkwl i know you’ll love this and @kaepopsicle i think you will too <3

The Demonic Mongoose of the Wild West

Bert the Bird, the demonic mongoose of the Wild West, roamed through the underbrush, searching for ants to eat. A tumbleweed ran across the bland terrain, hit Bert up the side of the head, and sent him flying. After a few long seconds, Bert slapped the ground with a resounding squeal. A big thwack echoed across the desert. A frog ribbeted. Bert sneezed.  

Unfazed, Bert continued his search for ants. He sniffled and snuffled along the ground, dancing to a nonexistent tune. His overly small paws bounced in rhythm, doing kicks so high they would give the Rockettes a run for their money. A few stumbles added variety to the dance. Completely calculated, I assure you.  

After a while, Bert forgot what he was doing and decided to head into town. The ants were spared another day. The saloon was not. Bert the Bird threw his whole body weight into the doors of the tavern, a meager attempt at forcing them open. The doors unsurprisingly didn’t budge, as the demonic mongoose only weighs half a gallon. Luckily, a cowboy-hatted, blue-jeaned, spur-wearing, collared-shirted and dusty faced yeehaw man came strutting through the doors.  

Bert the Bird took his chance and scrambled after the male yeehaw. He stopped, waiting for the perfect time to reveal his identity. Everyone in the saloon was peacefully (except for the two hoodlums brawling in the corner) engulfing liquid bread.  

Letting out an astounding yowl, Bert the Bird silenced the room. Heads turned, watching as Bert stood there, threatening them with his not-so-mere existence.

“Is it really him?”

“Don’t shoot- I got two kids!”

“Big Ol’ Bert Bird!”

“It’s the demonic mongoose!”

Whispers, gasps, yells, and one nervous bark filled the room. The mongoose smirked to himself.

Bert mobilized. Moving south, the mongoose headed towards the snake in the corner. His reptilian lawyer, who was currently playing cards with a yeehaw female, hissed in greeting.  

Bert squeaked out a snarl. The room gasped as he continued advancing towards the vertebrate.  

“Where are your federal income taxes, Bert?” the snake wheezed (she’s old.)

“Don’t have job,” Bert replies, edging closer.

“Oh yes you do, you’re tasked with eliminating my kin, aren’t you?”

“Huh.”  

Desktop App (the snake) sighs. Bert remains confused at the word choice beyond his vocabulary (he barely managed to graduate Childhood.)

“You,” she motioned to Bert, “Fight,” she imitated punching using her tail, “Snake,” she slithers.

“No.”

“Bert, fighting snakes is your entire livelihood, you can’t deny it.”

“No!” yells Bert, as he jumps in for the kill, attacking Desktop App’s neck. He misses and consumes a mouthful of table leg.

Desktop App lunges for Bert but doesn’t manage to take a chunk out of his arm as intended.  

Instead, she falls to the floor as Bert stumbles out of the way on accident after his head h                                                                                 hit the table and he careened into the floorboards, away from Desktop App.

Hissing, the reptile flops back around to face the mongoose, but Bert is already gone. He has seemingly vanished, but if you had looked closer, you would have seen a small, fluffy tail disappearing around the corner.  

Panting, Bert bounds across the rough terrain. His stubby legs aren’t used to moving at such accelerated speeds, and collapse after a few minutes. However, he’s far enough away from the town that he can’t see the outline of it. Belly heaving on the floor, limbs splayed out around him, head resting on the ground- Bert takes a cat nap.

He wakes up three hours later. Squeaking and jumping up, Bert continues to run. He has no idea what he’s doing or what he’s escaping, but he vaguely remembers that something dangerous was about to happen. To let loose his panic, the poor mongoose screams repetitively.

The surrounding life forms are irritated by such disturbance and one decides to stop him.  

Eduardo, The Valiant Frog of the Wild West, stands in front of Bert as the mongoose propels towards him. Bert shows no sign of stopping, because when he sees an obstacle, he gets scared, and his first reaction is to run, which involves speeding towards the obstacle at Mongoose Mach I.

However, Eduardo stands his ground. Suddenly, Bert stops, sniffing the air. Frog. Leaning closer, he gets close to Eduardo. “Frog,” he says.

Eduardo stares. “Is that all you have to say, young mammal?”

Bert The Bird says nothing.

“I have heard you are seeking sanctuary from the snakes. You will find none until you banish them all from these lands. Otherwise, they will always be lurking, slithering under your feet, watching you.”

Bert hiccups, and lets out another scream. He clumsily poises to run again, but Eduardo yells out, “Stop!”

Bert does exactly that and lays down on the ground. Eduardo shakes his head. “This is hopeless,” he mutters.  

“Go north,” Eduardo says slowly.

“Who?” Bert asks.

“North is not a life form, it’s the direction you are facing right now,” Eduardo points his walking stick to help Bert understand, “The snakes’ base is there. It’s hard to miss. Go find it and save us all!”

Bert squawks and starts bouncing north like a kangaroo. Shaking his head, Eduardo retreats to his spot under the sand.

After a while, Bert sees a structure like a laboratory, and stops. Settling down near the side of it, the mongoose burrows into the sand. It’s nice and shady next to the metal wall with a snake drawn on it, and it’s even out of the sun! A perfect place to spend the night. He curls up, wraps his tail around his small body, closes his eyes, and drifts off to sleep.

He awakens fifteen hours later, yawns, and stretches, gripping the ground with his claws. But, instead of the ground, he feels something slimy and scaly. Too frightened to utter a sound, Bert the Bird lets go of the thing, then grabs it again. This time, he adds more force and crushes it. It makes no noise. Bert sniffs it. Danger.

Bert slowly hightails it around the corner. He finds himself inside the structure. He sniffs again. The air tastes different. Spicier. Cautiously, he pads forward, tiny paws making no sound.  

Hearing voices, he crouches low to the ground to camouflage himself. He doesn’t realize that the building is white-painted metal, and he is a furry brown mongoose. Bert slinks closer to the sound, not stopping. He wants to see who’s speaking.  

Suddenly, the floor drops out from under him. Bert meows loudly, scared out of his mind. He plummets five feet, and lands in some dirt. The air is knocked out of his lungs, and Bert sits on his buttocks like a human, wheezing. Shaking his head like a wet dog, Bert stands up and observes his surroundings. He’s in a dark room with no light. So, he’s unable to see anything.

Snorting, Bert decides to use his other four senses to get a feel of where he is. Bert’s never been this resourceful before.

He pats around at the dirt under him and slowly moves forward. He immediately hits a wall. Snorting again in contempt, he turns around and is met with another obstacle. Snorting even louder, Bert jumps five feet in the air in dissatisfaction and blasts straight through the roof of the dark hole.  

The surprise of his heroic and super-mongoose actions scares him, and Bert jumps again. However, this time he doesn’t snort. Mobilizing again, he trots down the hallway. The voices have stopped, but Bert hasn’t.  

A crossroads appears in front of him. He keeps moving and hits the middle dividing wall face first. Startled, he blinks twice in a row. Turning around almost completely, he takes the left path. He sees a door on his right as he moves down the path, and Bert turns quickly to enter the room.  

Four snakes stare at him. Bert recoils, barking at them. They seem unaffected by his terrifying show of terror and hiss at him, “Why are you here, mongoose?”

“Who?”

The snakes sigh.

“Where are your federal income taxes?” they inquire, just as Desktop App had. Bert doesn’t answer. “Bert, you have been in debt to us for years. Each time you fight us, we lose purposely so someday you will have to pay us back for all the victory we have given you.”

“I disagree.”

And with that, Bert runs away, hooning down the hall and bursting out the door. He feels different. His head feels heavier, less empty, like something’s in there. Brain cells, he thinks to himself! He’s finally found some! The chemicals in the snakes’ lair must have given him some.

The ground disappears under his paws as he runs ferociously towards town. He must inform them of the nonconsensual agreement between him and the snakes regarding debt. He doesn’t understand what federal income taxes have to do with it, so he decides to disregard those for now.

The low skyline appears on the horizon, but Bert has no energy left. Slowly, the mongoose begins to decrease speed until he drags himself to a stop. Being awake for three hours is too much for a mongoose. Bert falls asleep a mile out of town.

The next morning, Bert wakes up and sneezes forty-seven times. Immediately, despite the sleep in his eyes and mussed-up hair, the valiant mongoose bounds towards town, making it there within the span of ten minutes.

The people are hiding in their houses, frightened of poor, misunderstood Bert. He meows pathetically. Suddenly, his voice acts without him thinking about it, like he’s saying a prophecy. He says, “Humans! My name is Bert the Bird, The Demonic Mongoose of the Wild West! But I do not claim that title! I am just Bert!”  

He pauses, waiting for an answer. Silence.

Bert continues, “I need your help. The snakes have tricked me. My past lack of brain cells made me victim to a devious scheme- each time I fought a snake, the reptile would lose purposely, consequently indebting me to them. I never consented to this agreement or trade! I need your help defeating these reptiles, as the ferocious mongoose you know as Bert the Bird is not me, and I am just a mere mammal. I do not seek revenge, just justice.”

Bert the Bird looks around, partly perturbed by his voice acting on its own, and partly to see if there were any takers to his courageous call.  

A door creaked open. Bert looked hopefully towards it and saw a badger.

“BADGER!” He screeched. Perhaps not the wisest call, but it sufficed, as Badger came hurling out the door towards Bert. (in fear.)

However, once he saw the wide, hopeful smile spread across Bert’s face, all fear dissipated. A few other animals slowly left the security of their homes and Bert was soon surrounded by a kingdom of squawking, ribbeting, barking, meowing, mooing, squeaking, and aggressive flapping.

“We will help you!” a turkey said. Cornbread was his name.  

“YEAHHHHHHH!” came an overly loud yell from a rare blue land shrimp. (Her entire body consists of a voice box supposedly; Bert had heard stories.)

Resounding expressions of agreement echoed throughout the square. “I am unendingly grateful for your assistance. Do we have any weaponry in this town?”

“Cabbage catapults,” growled an ostrich named Oallllyieee (exact spelling.) Bert could barely hear the baritone bird.  

“Pitchforks!” squeaks a rare yellow land whale. (This is the Wild West we have some interesting species.)

No one else reported any items, so Bert assumed that cabbage catapults and pitchforks were the extent of their defense system.  

“Let us prepare! Up and at ‘em!” Bert inspired, moving to go follow the animals as everyone streaked (not that kind of streaked) towards the barn located on the outskirts of Editing Reference File, the town.  

Everyone grabbed pitchforks, except for the bears and tigers (and the cacophonous rare blue land shrimp) who prepared the cabbage catapults.  

Lining up along the northern edge, all the animals positioned their attention on the outline of the snake structure at the top of the hill and waited.  

Not for long though, as a thunderous kerplonking and whooshing resounds from the hill. Hundreds of slithering noodles rampage towards the rest of the Wild West’s animal kingdom, slapping their tails against the sand in an uncoordinated fashion. These reptiles don’t stand a chance.

“Catapults at the ready!” roars Bert. The tigers’ claws fortunately abstain from becoming stuck in the voluminous leaves of the green vegetable. One of the bears, however, is not so lucky and now has large, round, leafy hands. He uses this to his advantage and begins to beat up some slimy thugs.  

“Fire!” Bert triumphantly yells once the snakes are in range. The cabbages hit the snakes dead-on, and an estimated sixty-three of them remain motionless. Not dead, just unconscious, as cabbages are not deadly projectiles no matter how hard you shoot them.

The snakes keep heading for the opposing army, and Bert screams, “Charge!”

Shrimps, buffalos, common loons, rhinos, tamarins, cows, and more trample two-hundred-sixty-four reptilian noodles. The head snako calls for a retreat. Bert’s militia hesitates, letting them fall back and re-group. Bert’s army is considerate, unlike the scaly, legless bodies.  

Instead of asking for a surrender, the snakes turn around, screeching, and attack again. Bert charges at them. The chemicals in the snakes’ lair had not only given him knowledge, but also some speed.  

Using his stout legs, Bert kicks those floppy worms out of the park! None of the snakes get even close to hurting Bert, he is just too fast. Cheering erupts from the Southern side. The North deflates and retreats again.

This time, only one fishy noodle comes back. He is wearing a lop-sided top hat and looks like a prestigious pirate.  

Heaving, he goes up to Bert. Bert quirks up a hairy eyebrow.  

“We surrender,” the sophisticated mustache-having snake breathes.

“I accept,” Bert responds, “But you must promise to leave the South alone. Stay back in the North with your failure of a capitalist economy.”

Johnny Smith, the snako, snarls but retreats, saying, “To the North!” His army dejectedly follows, slithering slowly. A cloud of dust appears and hides their retreat. Bert watches to make sure it was not a mask to hide a second attack. It was not. The sand settled, showing the snake structure’s door opening to let all the reptiles in.  

The Southern crowd cheers. No one is hurt and all is well! Bert is named Bert The Bird the Speedy and Slick and is unanimously proclaimed sheriff of Editing Reference File. He is now free to live his life as he chooses, saving the world and making uplifting speeches to his fellow citizens.  

Sometimes he struggles to feel satisfied with all the stress on his shoulders and misses his easy life back on the plains. He goes back sometimes and reminisces about the times where his head was empty, and a brain did not disrupt his inner peace.

But he remains in Editing Reference File as a hero (who can pay his federal income taxes.)

*The directions have nothing to do with the Civil War, my brother is paranoid and is making me put this here.

[botanyshitposts]

pls explain the news in laymans terms 😭

okay lads buckle up, this is gonna be a long one. the paper is “A phylogenomic analysis of Nepenthes (Nepenthaceae)” from Murphy et al. i’m gonna link it here, and i encourage anyone interested to read it for themselves and draw their own conclusions, but otherwise i’m gonna give an overview as i understand it.

if you do not want to see 394023 words of in-depth carnivorous plant genetics content you should start scrolling now. 

so. Nepenthes is a carnivorous plant family colloquially known as ‘asian pitcher plants’ or ‘monkey cups’. it’s one of the largest carnivorous plant families in the world, and without a doubt one of the most diverse, but we’ll get to that in a minute. these plants have pitchers that fill with fluid and digest bugs alive (important note in terms of nep anatomy 101: unlike venus fly traps or sundews, Nepenthes are passive traps and don’t move or curl up or anything, just sit and watch it all unfold). their range has china and korea on the northern edge, the tip of australia on the southern edge, and most of indonesia, the philippines, and most associated landmasses encompassed between. there are a couple outliers, but for the most part these are jungle plants with a vining growth form that weaves through trees and just….eats. 

now, putting aside the fact that they’re carnivorous, one of the biggest points of Nepenthes is their diversity as a family. if anyone out there remembers the term ‘adaptive radiation’ from an intro bio class, Nepenthes is THE family of adaptive radiation. in addition to common species that grow everywhere in their range, these lads can be so specialized that there are species you can only find on single specific ridges on single specific mountains on single specific islands; as you can imagine, this makes them especially vulnerable to climate change, habitat destruction, and poachers. 

the most obvious point of diversity here is the pitcher traps themselves: there are hundreds of different pitcher morphologies, ranging from special peristome adaptations to bizzare patterns and colorations to the addition of fang-like structures and symbiosis with bats, ants, and rodents. the list goes on. these lads are so specialized it’s unbelievable. one might think that, in terms of figuring out how these different species are related to each other, that it would be pretty obvious, since everything is so distinctive. 

but there is a problem. 

they fuck. 

Nepenthes as a family is established to be one of the oldest carnivorous plant families, but the 200+ species identified over the years are suspected to be the result of very recent (in evolutionary time) modern radiation. one of the most common definitions of what a ‘species’ is that i see circulated is the idea that something is a species when it can no longer breed with another species, but it’s important to realize that this is one definition of what a ‘species’ is. in the case of Nepenthes, the knowledge that a bunch of scientists have decided they are different does not stop them. 

it was hoped, with the advent of DNA testing, that maybe we would be able to assemble a semi-full map of how all these species relate to one another and how they came to be (a phylogenetic tree), but as it turns out the lads fuck so much between themselves and other Nepenthes species that figuring out how they became the species they became, even with DNA, is extremely difficult. ‘breeding complexes’ not too different than what i wrote about in the fern sex triangle post a while back are a very nepenthes-esque thing to have happen.

a quote from the paper: 

“These uncertainties are not unique to Nepenthes but various factors make them important in this group: the frequency of natural hybrids and apparent lack of intrinsic reproductive barriers between taxa, the extent of intraspecific morphological variation and the reliance by taxonomists on the pitchers.”

in short, these plants have no control. they are not practicing safe sex. they are living lavishly in their own tropical jungle paradise with as much hedonism as a plant can muster as botanists try to connect how one pitcher might be the evolutionary origin of another while somehow all the pitchers are either functionally the same or radically different. 

which brings us to this study. when people compare DNA, they’re rarely comparing the entire genome (although that can be done), but rather they identify a set of consistently mutable genes that are present across an entire subsection of life, and look at just those genes at just their locations on various chromosomes. instead of trying to find a couple genes fit to compare plants across the Nepenthes genus, as past studies did, this study took and applied a set of DNA probes developed previously to compare 353 genes present across the entire subkingdom of flowering plants. 

as you can imagine, this provides a significantly larger set of data to work with. sure, it’s not perfect and this take will need more research to confirm (basing the entire Nepenthes phylogenetic tree off of a single study is a dangerous game, especially when things are so saucy in the forest), but it’s significantly better than the results past Nepenthes phylogenetic analyses generated, where researchers were able to see some general outlines and attempted to sort the genus into a few groups, but were ultimately unable to see where species themselves split and what their relations to each other were (you know, because of all the sex). 

so. this paper: 

-obtained samples from 151 different Nepenthes species from different collectors, herbariums, and conservatories. for those familiar with Nepenthes as a hobby, Andreas Wistuba might ring a bell; he contributed some samples from his plants to this study. otherwise, the KEW botanical gardens is more ubiquitously recognized donor.

-for more common species, more samples were taken from different places to account for different populations.

-another quote from the paper that i think is interesting on multiple levels: “We also include two unpublished species, N. sp. Anipahan and N. sp. taminii. The former, from Palawan, is discussed by McPherson (2011) and may be a synonym of N. leonardoi. The latter is an undescribed species from Sumatra that has been circulating amongst Nepenthes growers and resembles N. rhombicaulis but is perhaps distinguished by its leaves. Also sampled here are N. echinostoma Hook. f., a commonly collected plant usually considered a variant of N. mirabilis, and a sample we liken to N. angustifolia Mast., a species usually considered synonymous with N. gracilis.”

i mentioned earlier that previous molecular analyses done by other people were able to see a general outline but weren’t able to see anything more distinct; the results of this paper for the most part confirm these general outlines, which means that if nothing else we have strong support for the relationship the entire Nepenthes family has to other, more closely related plant families, which the paper resolves in this tree: 

note that the above tree describes the family’s relation to various other families, followed by ‘Nepenthes clade 1′ and ‘Nepenthes clade 2′. these two clades contain most of the Nepenthes genus sampled; the six species shown in red, according to the results, are considered sister species to the entire rest of the genus, separate from those two clades.

now, what personally gets me the most excited here is the plant they confirmed as being the sister species to that subsection of sister species, effectively making it the outgroup to like, literally everything else: Nepenthes pervillei, from the republic of seychelles.

yeah. you know back at the beginning of this response when i said there were some exceptions to the Nepenthes habitat range? this would be one of those exceptions. the republic of seychelles is off the coast of africa, closer to madagascar than indonesia. to be fair, there are also Nepenthes along the eastern coast of madagascar, but because Nepenthes is so strongly geographically coordinated (this paper goes on to describe clades literally just named after the countries they’re in) this is pretty goddamn cool. this species got cut off in the middle of the ocean and now looks…….like a Nepenthes, but just off enough to be kind of weird (the biggest thing i realized just…staring at pictures of it is that it doesn’t seem to have wings down the front, which to be fair isn’t required of neps but makes it look super naked as a result). forbidden uncanny valley Nepenthes cast from the fuck zone. i love it.

the other main outgroup species (the sister species to all the ‘typical’ asian species, specifically, aka clades 1 and 2) they identified was Nepenthes danseri, which is native to waigeo island in indonesia (that’s in the fuck zone, for those keeping score at home) and, i would argue, has the same kind of thin-peristomed, simple-ribbed kind of look to it that pervillei has, but it definitely looks more traditionally Nepenthes-like.

now, with that, we really get into the meat of their results here. this is the full phylogenetic tree with all tested species laid out according to their results: 

i….have no idea if tumblr will let you zoom in on this pic so im just gonna write down some notes.

the color-coded names on the tree to the right match their respective habitats down in the map on the bottom left, which is neat, but it’s also interesting to see how some of these species have apparently been fucking between islands. i know this is gonna be low-res but look at this swath at the top, some of what they’ve identified as being ‘clade 1′ (mostly common, widespread lowland species):

- man………. i mean, first of all i wanna point out the lone bicalcarata branches at the top #representing, having somehow maintained their chastity despite being the sexiest of the Nepenthes. 

- hookeriana being the outgroup for ampullaria seems to fit well by adorable chubbiness factor alone. 

- one thing that seems weird but not totally out of character is that halfway down in yellow we see mirabilis in multiple populations in yellow, then down from there a little ways we see different mirabilis populations in green and purple and red, all but N. echinostoma and N. orbiculate, which are both outgroups. i knew it was a common species, but for some reason i wasn’t expecting it to be like………that (there’s an entire second section of them in red just below where this screenshot cuts off). like, good for them.

going down the main tree, we get into clade 2, the more specialized highland species, which are always very exciting. 

there’s my personal favorite, N. villosa: 

not surprised at N. edwardsiana’s relation, because how else would you be able to achieve such absolutely enormous teeth, but N. macrophylla surprises me. it’s got good teeth, but both edwardsiana and villosa are like, TEETH, you know? i guess it makes sense that it split from villosa, though. 

moving from that, VERY glad that the littlest known lad, N. argentii, made it on here. i know i’ve talked about argentii on this blog before, as the Nepenthes species that was so tiny the paper describing it’s discovery warned that population counts could be skewed by the plants ‘hiding under bushes’. their tinyness, which kills me every time i look at an image of them, is somehow weird in terms of being related to N. graciliflora, which is…..pretty normal sized. same with N. armin. makes me wonder how the hell they got so tiny. 

of course we can’t leave out the group with the largest currently known species, N. attenboroughii. the hilarity of the smallest and largest Nepenthes species being a single clade apart, if not very distantly diversified down their respective evolutionary lines, is not lost on me. 

N. palawanensis is a chonker, but i gotta say i wasn’t expecting it to be the sister species to the one and only megachonker, the plant literally famous for its sheer chonk. imagine being that overshadowed by your sibling. 

on a more general note– the paper noted this, too –it’s interesting to see how the lowland species seem to be happier about jumping islands and being promiscuous than the highland species, which seem to clump together by location. i guess it’s not surprising, knowing how specialized some of these highland species can be; villosa, for example, is native to a single side of a single mountain, and is positioned so that the populations are hit by cool wind coming up from the sea. still, lowland species need hot and humid environments, and can be just as picky. it’s gotta be a matter of isolation. 

anyway, there’s probably more i could talk about here but…man there’s a lot of data. the paper goes in-depth with how they constructed the more problematic branches, and trouble they had with some over others, confirming that we shouldn’t take this phylogenetic tree as 100% correct; things will almost certainly change or become clearer as more research is done, and phylogenetic trees in particular are known for being constructed and reconstructed time and time again. 

still though, it’s like…to see these relationships at this resolution for the first time is just really fucking cool, man. this isn’t even all the species. i remember i went to a carnivorous plant conference two years ago now, and there was a lecture by researchers attempting to untangle the phylogeny of Nepenthes and coming up short aside from a low-resolution tree of some of the more major species and the relation of Nepenthes to other families, their science blocked by the sheer feral chadness on display in the tropical jungles encompassing the land between china and australia. like, i really just want to take a moment, as an end note, to appreciate that these plants fucked so much in the past couple million years that it took multiple major advancements in technology and the examination of hundreds of genes just to get an approximate look at the phylogeny. like, that’s an Isoetes level power move and im not over it

[call-me-alorras]

Hey, so I don't really know if anyone is gonna see this, I don't really care, I think I will feel better knowing that this message is somewhere.

I'm not really lucky, life keeps giving half assed gifts and everything is always really bad timed. Everytime I get a new job I get sick the first week, then I get my period when I'm not supposed to, last winter I worked in a restaurant and I swear, two weeks in my stomach started to very badly react to acid. Took time to figure it out so I lost my job from being always sick. With my new job I had a tough start, first week I ran out of medicine for my stomach, then I had my period TWICE in a row. You know, life.

I'm 17, crying because I have to pay a rent for my dad's basement that doesn't even have a kitchen, sink or toilet. We have a shower tho. I can't clean the dishes without using my dad's dishwasher upstairs (so I have to carry a shitload of plates and bowls upstairs to get them wash and then get them back down in the basement). Anyway, I don't make enough money right now so I can't pay my dad and I owe him around 2000$ right now that me and my boyfriend have to pay back for the food and living expenses of the last few months. I want to leave this unsanitary lifestyle but I can't even pay the 400$ my dad is charging me every month with the job I have right now. I'm trying to save some money for my dad but I can't get 200$ out of my account without having to cut on the food.

Anyway, I don't think my life is that sad, but I'm 17 and crying because even by giving my health to my job by choosing to work 30h a week while being sick I can't afford a place to sleep and eat without worry. And I know it's common, I actually don't know anyone who isn't struggling financially while working full time. That's crazy.

And I always thought my dad understood me, and I think he does most of the time. But he told me today that's normal for a young adult to struggle. Yeah right, but I don't know, me and my boyfriend are both working, we have to pay rent and a little food but that's it, and we can't even afford that? My dad didn't work for a full year after my birth and only living on my mom's salary. That's how different it is. Two people can't afford what my mom could by working alone with a child to tend to.

Anyway I'm also really sad about the world, I wanna make my own place in it but sometimes I think about how this world is not worth the effort of working 40h a week to live in debts because anyway you can't afford school to finally have a degree that took some much of your life force to get that you already hate the job before actually starting the mundane career you jump into at 16 when you chose what school program you wanted to follow. And then people tell you how normal is it to give up your dream and health and time for a little comfort and a 2 weeks vacation a year. People don't even see their children growing anymore, you birth them and then go back to work because you can't let your career go down, and one day you check on your kid and they're 5 years old but since you just worked and worked you never found time to actually watch your kid and now some really fuck up and untitled asshole pop up everywhere because no one can take care of a kid correctly without letting down their job.

And people don't even care about that! People are rioting for masks and some old farts are now being asshole to a poor customer service worker that doesn't even know why they're working anyway because life on earth is dying so why bother you know?

All this seems pretty depressing, but I actually enjoy life. Smoking a little weed, having fun, a little beer, watching my dog run with his ears in the wind, the little ant on the table looking for food, some candles and a freshly washed bed, a fun car ride, a day out skating, having friends for dinner, talking shit about people in high school, you know, life in its good form. But you know, what's the point really? Why should I give my all to a blur and compromised society that doesn't even give back half. I can't even afford to buy new panties, that's how fucked I am. I have to check my bank account before buying milk, and don't get me started on my phone. I give my time, my life, to a toxic workplace filled with old people who are completely disconnected from the world who remind me everyday how poor this society is, I can only watch them while they buy their chips and soda and frozen food and scream to anyone how free they are and how the world should turn.

I have to deal with people like this around 7h a day, 5 day a week for 350$ and I can't even have my own place. I feel so broken, and let down, and forgotten, and curse, and poor, and dirty, and lazy, and tired, and empty because except working until you die the only option you have is to be fucking lucky and win the lottery of life and maybe have something else to do then die inside.

Anyway, I know life isn't about money, but if I had some I could actually give donation to the cause I support, I could feel safe in my space after a day of dealing with Karens, i could educate myself instead of standing still being a damn cash register and I could have clean and comfortable underwear and that's pretty much all I want...

Oh and I'm so sorry, to all the people changing the world right now, I'm doing my best from home but I can't do much more. Black lives matter. And animal cruelty is making me cry at night. And the president of the United States scares me. This world is wrong, and I wish I could do more to make it right for a lot of people who are suffering for a few white old ass. But I'm struggling to find my own way, I hope the world will still be standing when I'll find a way to live.

Still have a lot to say about how sad this world is but I have to go back to work. :))

[lixxiecorn]

Hide and Seek

This is pretty different than all the multichaptered fics I’ve written recently and posted on ao3. This is totally just a oneshot within the little universe I’ve created over there, so if you haven’t read anything else from this series I’d recommend going over and checking it out!

Read this fic over on ao3!

Check out the rest of the series over on ao3!

…

“Uncle Peter!” A shrill voice shrieked.

Peter whipped around on the dining chair he was sitting in to see the one and only Cassie Lang barreling at him at slightly worrying speeds.

“Cassie!” Peter greeted, grinning wide. She collided with him in a bear hug, wrapping her arms and legs around him like a koala. “How’s my favorite ant?”

“Ant-astasia is doing great.” Cassie responded, giggling. Ant-astasia was Cassie’s giant pet ant which had finally gotten a real name after Jim Paxton had called it Giant Pet Ant one too many times.

“I thought I was your favorite ant Pete?” Another voice called, sounding hurt. Peter looked to the elevator hallway to see Scott walking towards them.

“Ehh, Ant-astasia has a cooler name.” Peter said, smiling. Scott rolled his eyes then broke into a smile of his own.

“Peanut, why don’t you let Peter go so you don’t suffocate him.” Scott suggested as Peter tried to move, only to get further pinned by the 10-year-old.

Cassie pouted, but let go of Peter and stepped back. Then her eyes lit up as what Peter assumed to be an idea popped into her head. “Let’s play hide and seek!”

“With just the two of you?” Scott asked, raising an amused eyebrow.

Cassie tilted her head as she considered this.

Peter smiled wider. “Friday, who is currently in the tower and not doing anything important?”

“Captain Rogers and Sargent Barnes are currently in the gym sparring where they have been for the past two hours, Sir and Doctor Banner are in their respective labs, and Agents Romanov and Barton are currently heading up the elevator to your location.” Friday responded.

“Could you call them all up here? Tell them it’s a required team building exercise.” Peter instructed. Cassie smiled brightly while Scott shook his head amusedly.

Minutes later the aforementioned Avengers were assembled in the living area of the common room, some looking decidedly more interested in whatever Peter had planned then others.

“Ok everyone, Cassie has requested that we play hide and seek.” Peter announced to the group.

“Peter, I don’t have time for any games.” Tony said, standing up from the couch. “I have important deadlines- “

“That aren’t due for another week and you’re almost finished so you have plenty of time to play with us.” Peter finished with a shit-eating grin. Tony stared at him before rolling his eyes fondly.

“What are the rules and boundaries, and are there prizes?” Steve asked.

“Rules are normal hide and seek rules. For boundaries, you can use the common floor, labs, and gym,no private floors or other parts of the tower. There might be prizes, I haven’t decided yet.” Peter said. “Any other questions?”

“Yeah, just one.” Clint said, looking around. “Who’s it first?”

“Well, since you asked, you.” Peter decided, grinning. “Count to 200.”

With that everyone took off in different directions, leaving a shocked Clint in the living room.

…

One hour. That’s how long it took everyone to find Natasha. An entire hour of time spent by everyone except Bucky to find the assassin. They’d finally found her in the gym tucked behind the weight rack. Her tight black shirt and pants blended seamlessly with the floor and rack and she stayed absolutely still. Peter had only managed to find her because she had shifted her head slightly and a bit of her red hair had stuck out.

Bucky on the other hand had taken just as long to find. He had hidden in the prosthetics lab, laying on a shelf with his metal arm sticking out. He’d blended in so well that Clint had passed him 10 times before Cassie finally pointed him out while giggling.

“Let’s play again!” Cassie squealed.

“Who got found first?” Tony asked, looking down at his phone.

“Steve.” Clint said. “Count to 200.”

…

Apparently hiding on the ceiling wasn’t the smartest idea when you’re known for randomly going on the ceiling. Peter was the second person to get found, the first being Tony who hadn’t even moved when everyone else had gone to hide.

“Who are we looking for now?” Peter asked, looking around for hidden Avengers.

“Bucky.” Steve decided.

“It took forever to find him last time though.” Peter pointed out. “Why don’t we look for like, Clint? I bet you he’s in the vents.”

“It did, but unlike Clint I came prepared.” Steve said, pulling out… a metal detector?

Peter’s brows creased in confusion before the lightbulb went off in his head and he started laughing.

“You’re going to detect Bucky’s arm with the metal detector?” Peter asked between laughs.

Steve grinned, then held out the detector and followed the beeping.

The detector led them through the kitchen where they found Cassie. Well, more like Cassie found them since she popped out from inside a cabinet where she was hiding.

“What’s t- “She started before Peter shushed her. She looked confused for a moment before realization dawned in her eyes and she jumped up, grabbing Peter’s hand.

Steve, Peter, and Cassie continued following the beeping of the metal detector into the hallway on the common floor. They passed the dining room and by extension, the living room. As they passed the bathroom door the beeping increased in intensity.

Steve met Peter’s eyes and pointed at the door. Peter nodded and grabbed the handle, twisting it carefully. Steve entered the bathroom, waving the metal detector all around until it stopped beeping all together, it’s red light flashing as he pointed it at the laundry chute.

Peter opened the chute door to see Bucky’s face scowling at him.

“Is that a metal detector?” Bucky asked incredulously as he climbed back out into the bathroom.

Cassie nodded while giggling ferociously. Peter joined in her laughter as Steve cracked a smile. Bucky just rolled his eyes and joined the group as they sought out the other hiders.

…

“Cap, why are you holding a metal detector?” Tony asked once everyone had been found. The group had gathered in the common room again half an hour later. It hadn’t taken as long to find Natasha as Bucky’s loud complaining had made her laugh so hard that she couch she was hiding beneath had shaken slightly.

Bucky answered the question with a glare and Tony dropped the topic.

“So… Who’s it?” Bruce asked.

“Tony was found first.” Steve replied.

“I’m done, I have work to do.” Tony announced and stalked off, not looking up from his phone once.

“So, Peter’s it then.” Steve corrected, rolling his eyes at Tony’s antics.

“I’ll help!” Cassie offered excitedly. Steve handed the metal detector to Peter and the duo began to count, the other Avengers dispersing to hide.

…

“He should be right over…” Peter said, waving the metal detector around. Cassie and Peter had followed the device into the gym. The beeping shut off and the red light flashed when he pointed the detector at the shelving unit.

“Got it!” Peter said, running to the shelf with Cassie at his heels. Cassie dug around and picked up an arm. But not just any arm, Bucky’s arm.

Peter stared at the arm flabbergasted. Then Cassie started to laugh.

“He took off the arm!” Cassie shrieked.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Come on Cassie, guess we’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way.

…

They never did manage to find Bucky, but after an hour and a half of searching they called it off and let Bruce start counting. Clint had laughed so hard at their failure that he fell out of the ceiling vent and hurt himself, so he was sitting this round out.

Peter and Cassie ran into the living room searching for a spot, only to see Bucky standing there, his flesh arm on his hip, smirking at them.

“Hey, you cheated!” Peter called.

“I was just using my resources.” Bucky defended, grinning. “If you’re going to try to get me by using a metal detector, then I’m going to remove the thing that you’re tracking. Simple logic.”

Cassie giggled and tackled Bucky in a hug. Bucky tensed in surprise, then relaxed, fluffing her hair.

“Found you all.” Bruce called, peaking in the doorway.

Peter spun around, displeasure crossing his features. “Hey, no fair!”

[askmeaboutmyobsession]

What is better than a sloth? 

A sloth bear.

Think it isn’t real? Well, so did I until I saw it when reading up on tigers. Crazy what you can learn about, huh?

When I first saw a picture of the sloth bear, I thought it looked like a mangy black bear with a streak on its chest. If I saw that in the woods, I would run the other way, thinking it had rabies or something. But then I researched.

Sloth bears eat ants and berries. They don’t even attack with their claws unless provoked by predators or humans. (PSA: Don’t ever approach wild animals, even if they look cute and cuddly. Just don’t fam, 0/10 do not attempt). They can grow 5 to 6 feet in length and weigh between 200 and 300 pounds. Their nostrils can close entirely to keep ants and termites from getting up there, but they have an awesome sense of smell.

Weird tidbit, but they have eye sight similar to that of a human. I wonder if they ever get bad eyesight, would they need spectacles?

They are also noisy! Ever heard of a wild animal that just casually made noise all the time? Me neither. Yet these bears walk around grunting and snorting as they pull berries off shrubs and dig in termite mounds. Kind of like a perpetual grumpy old man.

Sloth bears are usually solitary, except for when there are cubs. Speaking of cubs, these bears are the only bears who carry their cubs on their back. That shaggy fur on their back is referred to as a “saddle” that the cubs hold on to. 

As is the case with most strange and interesting animals, their habitat and population is being threatened by human activities. The sloth bear is classified as the fourth-most endangered bear species.

The sloth bears are threatened by human animal conflict (when the sloth bears raid farm crops), loss of forests outside of protected areas, and poaching. Poaching is by far the largest threat to sloth bears. They are hunted for their body parts because they are used in traditional medicines and aphrodisiacs, their meat is eaten, and their claws and teeth worn as ornaments.

The sloth bears are protected under schedule I of the Indian Wildlife (Protection) Act, 1972. But poachers are criminals, so who would expect them to follow the law? 

Currently, conservationists are trying to change local opinion on the bears, and tigers too. These animals are easy to fear because they can seriously harm humans if provoked, but there is a simple solution to this problem.

Don’t provoke them.

KK (10-11-17)

P.S. These bears look weirdly like my childhood dog, who was a shaggy, black lab/golden retriever mix.

[hinodemura]

A morning

The behind of the house was a small animal farm. There were some elder pigs, babies and goats. One baby goat that lost his mother was outside of the fence together with dogs. A clever cat is hidden inthe house and chickens always slept on trees at night. For the circumstance, I couldn’t sleep well  at the first night -or the second night. I arrived there midnight and I don’t remember well except the fact that I was pretty nervous the first night.- They sound run, play and fought sometimes. These sounds suddenly happened like a storm, made a mess and end like someone sink it into the mud. I guessed that they couldn't resist sleep, and for the answer I also could sleep. 

I liked to stand at the gate of the house to watch the passage of time as the morning sun changed. The house was surrounded by wall and there is a little jungle where the front of the house. -I felt like I was in a Jurassic Park movie scene as we drove through a small red truck.-

Early in the morning, I can still see the shining stars in the sky. As the mountain silhouette slowly emerges on a dark night, it sounds like all the plants on the ground have begun to stand up again to attend breakfast. The ant's caravan walks on the iron grate, the chicken begins to sing a greeting, and someone else returns greeting from it from anywhere. The sun gives a creamy white veil to the dark blue sky, adds light that gradually shines. Prussian blue, pale blue, purple… Light lemon-yellow light shines in, spreading red ribbons shining through the rest of the night, dyeing the sky with burning orange.

A huge mango tree and some coconut trees are outside the gate. When the sky becomes bright, they slowly reappear. Looks very mysterious in the burning sky. They areexactly part of this land and are old-especially mango trees are over 200 years old.- Perhaps they know everything that happened here and what will happens... Still they stand up and greet a new morning as usual. No change. I feel how wonderful it is and at the same time how hard it is to be.

I guessed sometimes, perhaps my father was also standing there and waiting to someone return here. I looked at the house and counted the people inside the house , listening the sound outside the small jungle. The horn of the car can be heard from a distance. There is a large road nearby and the sound does not stop almost overnight. But the music doesn't hear yet.

I sit in the truck bed and see the dogs still lying on the ground or at the table. They sometimes turn their ears and decide to still keep rest. The baby goat was the first to get up, but he knew it was a waste of time to convince me to give him milk at this time. The door of the family house is still closed and I still can't get his milk and my coffee. The sky turns light blue and the glowing orange light appears to be sucked into the west clouds. My eyes meet a chicken's eyes that overlooking me from the roof. I had assumed chickens couldn't fly, but it's not true.

I remember the night that killed two of them in the slingshot. I learned from father of the house how to treat them as meat after killing. I remember the  wet feathers and skin texture, also the scenes that his wife gently hugging and had kept stroked chicken heads before they died.

I heard that a pig speaks something behind the house. And it remind me how we treated the young pig to eat it. After killed him on the table which the dogs sleep, he poured boiled water some times and we helped shaving pig's hair with a small razor blade. The father of the house is an experienced man and he could cut to eat without hesitation. Still, he doesn't kill them by himself. Pork is their greatest meal to welcome someone. I imagined what he felt while hearing his story explaining how he dealt with and how he will cook them. The ground that was wet with hot water and covered his hair. His warm body. His face in a bowl. The farm becomes silent now. Still, they remember it too... probably mother pigs won't forget forever.  I reflected what I buy at a supermarket in my country. Packed meat has no face. There are no voices or tears. I need to choose how to act on them... 

By the way, the goat jumped off the table again and started running around me. He seems to feel the limits of patience and seeks milk as soon as possible. Animals seem to decide to get up. The chickens and the goat keep singing. Perhaps the family's mother will wake up soon. Next is probably father. I guess the children won't get the room out for a while yet. And my brother too. I don’t know when they back home and how the guest want to move today... I start thinking about the schedule for the day understanding it’s a bit waste of time. The schedule is organically thing here. It makes me confusing and give lively emotions. It sometimes annoying but it give enjoyments unexpectedly... but it’s probably not their real usual day. I remind the night that I played hide-and-seek with the youngest boy. It was pretty fun! and the persons in the house looked relaxing. 

The door opens and father comes out. He turn off the outside light and say good morning with yawn, suggest me a cup of coffee. He told me what time his oldest boy back last night entering the house. He always waits his family even how it's late.  

I remember some nights as well. The time when we wait my younger brothers back from Manila, sweet and rich coffee at 3am. A drinking party in other night, an appetizer in the mountain, motorbike, wonderful place and the viewing, mountain that was covered by night, songs of insects, the taste of great lanbanog... beers, hieros, alcohol with raisins, something juice, a time standing beside the pot to learn how he cook it, chopped leafs as a medicine, a hot hand on my back, children's fight for a time gaming, faces that is tired, eyes which is searching something, men who stand up suddenly to shoot down owls in the dark, smile of the youngest drunker, baby goat on my knees...

Mother calls my name and show the cup of coffee. We do conversation a little bit passing sugar spoon. She also call her children name, and they back to it or not back.  The dogs try to enter the house and got kicked out, but the baby goat successed stay. She makes milk already and pass me it with the baby bottle to entice him out. When I go outside, the morning is completely ready. I wonder if the youngest boy go to a bread shop together with me this morning as well. The goat is drinking at a phenomenal speed and dogs is trying to lick it from his mouth. Hearing some noise from inside of the house and the door of the opposite house opens and our guest comes out. Probably, my brother becomes the best sleepyhead. 

Hearing the conversation between guest and family, apparently she also gets a cup of coffee from mother. Here, everyone drink the coffee at morning. Even a person who backs from the night shift and sleep soon. The coffee is bitter rich taste and it’s good if adding sugar. I prefer black coffee usually but made it sweet while stay there. It’s their natural way and I remind how the taste was nice sometimes. 

I hope that a morning like that will continue there forever. And hopefully, the opportunity to share it with you comes out again someday. 

This is a morning I liked.

[holmjanson-blog]

The safari jeep pulled away and we were all just standing there. On the ground. With no transportation. My heart raced.

I quickly realized I had a whole different perspective doing a walking safari. I suddenly felt what it was like to be an animal living in this tall grass – wondering what predator was around the corner. It’s easy to feel safe in a vehicle, but on the ground, I felt exposed.

This bush walk is one of the extra safari activities you can do at Thanda Safari Private Game Reserve. When I agreed to do the walking safari, I thought it would be a good way to learn more about animal tracking and get a new perspective. However, I hadn’t considered the fear and panic that was also going to be present inside of me when Christian drove the vehicle away saying that he’d pick us up in a couple of hours.

Wind is your Enemy in a Walking Safari

“I’m not saying we are going to find a rhino, but we will try,” said Truman, the Reserve Operations and Security Manager. “It’s quite a windy day…,” his sentence trailed off as he looked around nervously. He continued, “with this wind, it will carry our scent away.”

Leaving the safety of the road, and going by foot

I could tell he was trying to decide if we should do this walk on the ground on such a windy day or not. Wind is your enemy in this situation because animals really don’t want to come across a human and will steer clear of us when they can. If our scent it carried away in the wind, then it’s more likely we could come across an animal and startle it.

Our other guide explained, “Animals are afraid of us on foot; they generally don’t want to have conflict. Conflict for animals is something that is dangerous, and there’s no national health program for them! If they get injured, they usually die. They will only get into a conflict if it benefits them. And a conflict that benefits them is either a conflict that ends in food or one that ends in mating. For any other conflict, if they can, they will stay away.”

Walking Safari Instructions

As one would guess, there are lots of instructions when it comes to being on foot in a game reserve. Truman gathered us around and went through the rules.

“I’m your lead rifle and I will be walking in the front. Ryan (a guide on the antipoaching team) will be behind me in case anything happens to me. At all times stay behind the rifle. There is no intention to shoot and kill the animals, it’s only here in case we walk into a situation beyond our control.”

He went on to show us exactly where his ammunition was and how to load the gun – just in case. I paid close attention even though my stomach was in knots.

Preparing the rifle

Your feet seldom touch the ground in a safari park…until now.

Getting final instructions Photo by Christan Sperka

He continued, “When we walk into a situation, you will listen to my command. Walk single file, and stay an arm’s length apart from each other. When we see an animal, we stay at a safe distance and respect the animal’s space. Never ever decide to back away from the group, or stop and look and fall behind.”

I’m pretty sure that there was no chance I was going to allow anyone, especially Truman, out of my sight over the next two hours. Who in their right mind would think it’s ok to fall behind and be on your own walking in the bush I thought to myself!

“At all times, keep your voices minimal. We don’t want to expose ourselves to danger which we cannot see. These animals are in their natural space, so we are the intruders, and we have to respect it and give them their space at all times.” And with that, Truman asked if we had any further questions.

I think I was a little too nervous to even ask a question at that point!

The First Few Steps

Photo by Christian Sperka

With no questions, Truman picked up his gun and took off. The other guide, Ryan, stepped into stride behind him, and we all followed like a line of ants marching into the bush.

The first few steps were a complete adrenaline rush.

Even though Truman was an expert in his field and had done many of these walks before, I was still quite nervous. My heart raced and all of my senses were heightened. I gingerly took steps and found myself scanning everywhere in the grass.

A bird above us chirped and I nearly jumped a foot in the air! It was then when I told myself to just calm down and breath.

Learn How Experts Track Animals in the Wild

Not only was this an adventurous sensory experience, it was also a learning experience. We didn’t talk while we walked, but often Truman would stop us, asking us to huddle around to teach us about animal tracking.

“Looks like there’s been a Poo party here,” Truman says with a slight smile as he looked down at a huge pile of animal dung. Our laughter helped ease my nerves. We all huddled around and looked at the poo on the ground. I felt like a private investigator. Truman kicked it around a bit and then knelt down close to it. “Animals have their own ways of communicating,” he explained.

I had never really thought of poo as communication, but it definitely was. White rhinos eat grass, and Black rhinos eat leaves on bushes and trees. This makes the contents of the poo quite different. By looking at the poo you can start to narrow down the type of animal that was at the ‘party’. It wasn’t only something people on walking safari use to track, but animals also use this information to track each other too.

The poo pile was definitely grassier, we found no twigs in it – indicating it was a White rhino that had been there. However, the poo was quite dried out, “If I was a rhino poacher – I would look at it and realize that it is an old dung pile,” explained Truman. This reminded me that animal tracking is used by all types of people – and especially poachers.

Trackers also look at places where dirt is disturbed, branches are broken, or leaves eaten. And then we started getting more advanced as Truman told us about how to figure out the direction of urine to determine what direction the animal was moving.

In addition, there were a number of areas that he pointed out silently where you could see a large animal had been walking through the disturbed grass or sleeping in the grass where it was flattened. All of these things kept us on the trail of the white rhino we were trying to find.

Being a poo detective

examining how twigs are bitten off tell us about an animal

A rhino walked through this grass!

Truman examining the poo part

Truman pointing out footsteps in the dirt

A large animal like a rhino slept here

teaching us about flora and fauna

Caution at Water Holes

We slowed down as Truman gave us hand signals to wait. We were approaching a watering hole and it is here where things can get dicey. He didn’t want to startle any animals at the watering hole. Truman slung his gun around and had it ready as we walked out of the bush and into the mud around the watering hole.

Once again, my heart raced. More than anything I didn’t want to encounter a cape buffalo. I had heard that they were the meanest – and tended to charge people without first giving a fake charge like many animals.

Please, please please no water buffalo I repeated in my head silently.

Be extra careful around watering holes

Truman gave us the ‘all clear’ sign and we knew we were alone at the watering hole. We surveyed the area seeing a number of tracks checking how fresh they were and determining direction.

Traversing Grasslands

We passed around the watering hole, traversed a gully, and hiked out into a field. The grass became taller and thicker, and sweat was pouring down my forehead and back. The grass made me even more nervous because I remembered how easy it was for the cheetah we saw the prior day hide in the grass. You could be just a few feet from it and it was undetectable in the grass.

As we bushwhacked through shoulder high grass, I found myself worrying about the smallest of animals – tics. With each step my mind skipped from tics to cheetahs to cape buffalo to rhinos. Except for the tics, you want to see the animals and you don’t at the same time. It makes for a strange push/pull of your emotions.

Are there tics here…yes…

Cheetah hiding in the grass – can you find it?

Walking in the grassland

After sweating and walking through the high grass I was exhausted. Suddenly I saw Truman hold up his hand indicating for us to stop. We had been hiking on foot for 2 hours by now and I had kind of given up finding a rhino in a way. He motioned for us to get down low. We all crouched and Truman pointed in the distance. I followed Truman’s pointing finger and saw an animal move among the trees. A white rhino and a young calf were munching on grass just ahead of us. They were luckily about 200 feet away, but it was pretty incredible to watch the animals while feeling so vulnerable.

I tried to take a few pictures with my phone, but it was challenging; 200 feet is still a pretty big distance. The photographer in me wanted to get closer, and the tourist part of me was pretty happy being far back.

Truman spotted the rhino ahead of us!

Viewing Wild Animals On Foot is Great But…

The Walking Safari was a success, but even if we hadn’t found the rhino and baby, it still would have been a success. I think the real benefit of doing a walking safari isn’t really about seeing the animals from the ground, it’s about putting yourself in an environment with heightened senses and observing your own emotions. I developed a whole new understanding and appreciation for wild animals that day; more than I ever could have done simply viewing from a jeep.

Follow my Travels

How you can do a Walking Safari in South Africa

Thanda private game reserve offers bush walks through their private reserve as a chance to view animals and learn about the flora, fauna, and culture of the region. Thanda Safari Website Thanda Walking Safari

The post A Walking Safari Isn’t About the Animals appeared first on Ottsworld Unique Travel Experiences.

[raven-and-beez]

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon [I’m surprised I haven’t burned my eyes after reading this book] DNF review

THIS BOOK! Where do I even begin with this book?

I started this book with @bookedbybliss (She is a really good friend of mine and you should totally check out her page!) We decided to read it together and I’m glad to say that she and I have the same thoughts regarding this book, because I was terrified of what would happen if I told her I hate this book and she said the opposite to me.

I had been seeing this book around bookstagram every now and then, the TV show is well loved and even though you all know I really dislike romance, I thought I might as well try it out. Maybe, this book would change my mind, you know?

But what it did do, was put me on a rocket ship and blast me off to a planet where romance books don’t exist.

Anyway, let’s get to what I liked and didn’t like and what finally made me DNF the book.

But first, the plot: So the year is 1945, Claire Danvers, a former war nurse, is back with her husband. They are currently in Scotland on a second Honeymoon and her husband is here because he wants to figure out his lineage. Claire is just here to tag along.

Everything is cool until she gets thrown back in time and finds herself in 1743, Scotland. A time of war between the English and the Scots. She ends up meeting James Fraser, a Scottish warrior.

When I started this book, I had very little knowledge of what this book was about, but I like to keep my knowledge of unread books to a minimum so that there can be enough room for surprise and excitement.

So when I started this book, I found it a bit slow. It was basically just: Cool Scottish history, sex, lineage info, sex, war info, sex… you know how it goes. And the writing style took me a LONG time to get used to. Clearly, I wasn’t that impressed but I wanted to stick around for the Scottish history because you don’t see that very much in popular books.

When she finally got thrown back in time, I thought to myself, “Yes finally! Maybe now things might get interesting.” But boy oh boy was I wrong.

Things just got more sexist. I mean, that’s expected because she is way back in the past. But a part of me was hoping that her being there would change things somehow but she only became a part of it!

Firstly, she seemed totally okay with being back in time by 200 years. If it was me, I would have a panic attack but she just rolled with it.

Secondly, she completely forgot about her husband! I hate it when books portray backstabbing on your loved ones as something that’s okay if you love someone else (It’s NOT okay. EVER! Get a freaking divorce first?? Or breakup??) but this book just stepped up the game because hey, if your husband is not even born then you can do the frickity frackle with another guy right? After marrying him of course. Duh! Where’s the decency?

Thirdly, after she got married to Fraser (with an ants worth of protest) they were just banging the shit out of each other. THAT WAS ALL THAT WAS HAPPENING! I thought this was a Historical romance fiction??? NOT erotica! Where was all the history??

Fourthly, throughout the entire 16 chapters that I read, she seemed to do EVERYTHING except go back in freaking time to her actual husband! If I was married to someone I loved and if I was thrown back in time and if I was told that I would have to marry some other guy (even if it was to save my ass) then I would freaking bolt. So not only did I have a major issue with her morals but I also hated this book because it was just bull crap through and through.

I was literally trying to find things that I liked in this book but it was almost non-existent. There were VERY FEW points where I liked the humour but meh for the rest of it. And I was SO disappointed that this book turned out this way because I genuinely wanted to know more Scottish History. It seems like such an interesting topic and I felt bad that it was involved in this book in such a way. And by that I mean, that it was barely there.

The thing that finally made me DNF this book at chapter 16 was the fact that the author took THREE BLOODY PAGES to describe Jamie catching a fish! A fish that just disappeared afterwards. Did they eat the fish? Nope. What happened to the fish?? It had no relevance whatsoever to the plot. I mean guys! They killed a fish for NOTHING AND I HAD TO READ SO MUCH ABOUT IT!

So yeah… never picking up this book again. I feel like I need to make it clear (now that we are at the end of my review) that I don’t hate YOU if you loved this book. I hate this book, not you. I’m never going to hate someone for what they read UNLESS they try to force it on me cause then they are just a shitty person and that is what I’ll be hating them for.

I know a lot of people love this book and this series, but let me know your thoughts in the comments. If you liked it, tell me why and if you didn’t, tell me why. I know I seem to churn out a lot of negative reviews every now and then but I’m just being honest.

Lots of love,

Raven

[mahavan]

Being Human - Bang For Your Buck

Could there be anything worse than not getting enough “bang for your buck”? Hell no! As we devotedly surf the net for sacred reviews, trusted comparisons, and precious price beating info we are therefore sure that meaning, peace and fulfilment will follow, as we speed toward the goal of life one purchase at a time. But could it be that today, in the wonderful information age, we know everything except what we really need to know? A quick look at the news headlines on any day of the week certainly gives some food for thought, and reaffirms for the yogi the message of the ancient yoga culture to humanity across the board: “Ignore the essential questions and your inner and outer world will be chaotic, despite so much scientific and technological advancement. Indeed, you could not make a greater mistake than to think something more important than your own enlightenment.”

Who or what are we, beyond the superficial layers of body and mind? Why are we here, beyond reproducing our genes? What should we be doing, beyond the activities we share with the beasts in the field and forest? And what is real pleasure, beyond temporary sensual titillation? Out of box of contemporary social conditioning, the bhakti yoga texts explain that human intelligence is meant for asking and answering these questions as the number one priority. Why? Not simply to avoid inner and outer chaos, but for an even higher purpose. The preliminary bhakti text Bhagavad Gita informs us, “The human form of life is specifically and exclusively designed to attain pleasure beyond matter, time and space. Such pleasure, in which one understands that there is none higher, is attained only by proper use of human intelligence.”

But hang on, what about the well worn “ignorance is bliss” mantra? It was the great Western thinker Socrates who said “the unexamined life is not worth living,” but are we not determined to prove him wrong? For the vast majority today making what is considered by the genuine yogi to be the greatest of mistakes, the well drilled response may be “Who am I? Not sure, but I could sure use some more money!” Another great Western thinker, Oscar Wilde, opined that “a cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing,” but perhaps many would consider Wilde the actual cynic for coming up with this definition. Illuminating the situation, bhakti texts like Srimad Bhagavatam strive to provide the best “bang for the buck” in terms of human worldview and lifestyle options by urging us to seriously consider what human Intelligence is actually meant for.

The following question begins the journey: If humanity was to try distinguish itself as a species from other fauna, then what would be the criteria? All species eat, sleep, reproduce and defend themselves, and also equate the satisfaction of such needs as “happiness,” but is there a specific trait or characteristic which unmistakably distinguishes humans from other species? Instinctively we may reply “we are more intelligent.” But how? Sure, our furry, feathered and scaly brothers and sisters lack IT, Facebook, smart phones, free market democracies and high paced consumerism, but they also lack psycho therapists, chronic health conditions, drug and alcohol dependency, economic recessions, car accidents, suicide bombers and responsibility for climate destabilisation and impending ecological disaster, which are just a few of the vast array of stunning medals pinned exclusively on the chest of humanity.

Intelligence, as it is commonly defined, is ”the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills" and is generally thought to set us apart from other species. But what type of knowledge and skills create the actual divide? True, the power of human intelligence is greater than that of other species, but the yogi would ask “is that power being used for anything higher than the achievement of basic animal goals? Is human intelligence actually being used intelligently?” looking at the activities we share with other life forms, we also see that they are often far more organised, cooperative and less destructive than we two legged heads of the food chain. While “advanced” contemporary humanity has become the only species in history to destroy its own habitat (and that of many other innocent species in the process), tiny creatures like ants and bees have social organisation and economic cohesion that human societies can only dream of.

Cutting to the chase, bhakti texts point out that there is actually no notable difference between humans and animals unless the human being make a serious attempt at higher consciousness. Again, it was Oscar Wilde who observed that “man is the rational animal.” Expanding on this observation, graduate bhakti text Srimad Bhagavatam gives it practical application, explaining “A truly intelligent human being, while properly taking care of the needs of the body and mind, only endeavours for pleasure beyond temporariness, knowing that whatever happiness one is predestined to experience by karma can not be avoided or increased, and that such a budget standard of pleasure is also freely and automatically available in all species of life.”

In other words, human beings have the in-built potential, due to the facility of developed intelligence, to attain pleasure which is free from the limitations of beginnings and ends, and such an endeavour is the only real criteria for human status. Failing to use this potential for the purpose that it was intended, it is misused in the pursuit of transitory gratification which is freely available in any body type. And consequently, because human intelligence is far more powerful than that of other species, when misused the reactions are also epic, hence the current deluge of ever-increasing individual, social, economic, political, and ecological woes that bombard the nightly TV News enthusiast.

The precise sanskrit world aryan is used in yoga literature to define human beings and distinguish them from other species. The term means “those who are advancing.” Today, of course, we are generally pretty chuffed with the rampage of apparent human progress that has spurted up in the 200 years since the industrial revolution, usually equating it with the advancement of science, technology and a more convenient way of life. In this way, certainly, human beings are progressing. But does such progress practically equate to a higher quality of life? Has it lead to an increase in the depth of personal understanding and relationships? Of unity and harmony between human beings, other species and our environment? To genuine human happiness and fulfilment? Statistics say no.

For example, in the USA, those experiencing a regular and frequent feeling of loneliness have risen from 11-20 % in the 1970s and 80s to between 40 and 45% of the population in 2010. While in New Zealand, although those under 30 are the most connected via text messaging and social media, they are also the most lonely of any age group. The consumption of antidepressants has nearly doubled in EU countries since 2000. Acknowledging the crisis, the World Health Organisation released a report in 2014 entitled “Preventing suicide: a global imperative,” the first report of its kind. WHO also estimated 804 000 suicide deaths occurred worldwide in 2012, although they believe that the actual number is much higher due to under reporting. For every person who commits suicide, there are 20 or more who make an attempt, and globally suicide is the second leading cause of death in 15−29-year-olds. The twentieth century has also been the most war ravaged and violent century in recent human history. More than 140 wars have been fought since the formation of the United Nations in 1945 and three times more people have died in wars of the twentieth century than in the entire history of warfare between A.D. 1 and 1899. Our present version of “advancement,” it seems, comes at quite a price.

Bhakti texts affirm that when a person makes serious inquiries into happiness beyond animal propensities and actually takes up authentic yoga technologies which connect him or her to pleasure which has no beginning or end, he can then be classified as aryan, or “human.” Such an individual knows and feels the practical benefits of real human advancement. Deeply concerned with real “bang for the buck” while in the human body, the fortunate soul, even in this time of mass forgetfulness of the purpose of human intelligence, seeks the company of the like minded and dynamically strives for and achieves higher consciousness. Free from the tendency to exploit other living beings, fortified and inspired by inner peace, genuine meaning, compassion for all species and pure happiness, he or she, not simply satisfied with personal success, is also dedicated to assisting others on the path of maximum human potential. In this way the empathic activist-yogi urges one and all, “please don’t make that greatest of mistakes - you have the potential for and right to the best pleasure.”

[baitrotate1-blog]

Review: Why the JW Marriott resort in Venice continues to frustrate me, and why we return (Part 1)

Links on Head for Points pay us an affiliate commission. A list of our partners is here.

This is my review of the JW Marriott hotel and resort in Venice. 

I have reviewed the JW Marriott in Venice before, two years ago to be exact.  We were there again over the August Bank Holiday for what was our fourth consecutive annual three day visit, so I though it was worth covering again.

All of the photographs below are from my 2016 review, but the text is fully updated.  It seemed relatively pointless photographing exactly the same things again which is why my daughter looks younger than usual.

Since this was our fourth trip, you would assume that we love the hotel.  That is not true.

Every year it turns out to be a frustrating experience.  If Four Seasons took it over it would be outstanding, but JW Marriott lets too many things slip through.

Let me explain why we returned.  With kids, the mainland hotels (when I write ‘mainland’ I mean the main island) are not ideal – rooms are generally small and you won’t find a pool or outside space, let alone a kids club.  Hotels on their own islands (Cipriani, Kempinski – ex St Regis – and JW Marriott, plus the Excelsior etc on the Lido) have a lot more to offer.  The weather is also so hot in Summer that a private island is more attractive than the city centre.

Marriott Rewards has one feature which I rate highly – the ability to ‘buy up’ a reward night to a better room for a nominal sum at the time of booking.  Not all hotels offer this, but JW Marriott Venice does.

We paid €200 on top of the usual 40,000 Marriott points per night for a Junior Suite which was selling for well over €500.  The suite took two rollaway beds for the kids and still had plenty of space for a sofa etc.  My Marriott Rewards Platinum Premier status got us two adult breakfasts for free so we only paid half-price for the kids breakfast.

I’m getting ahead of myself, however.

The JW Marriott in Venice opened five years ago.  It is on a private island and requires you to take a boat to and from St Marks Square.

It is bit further into the lagoon than the Cipriani and next door to the island hosting the Kempinski, previously the St Regis. The fact that St Regis threw in the towel after just one year tells you how hard it is to make money here – the long crossing from the mainland makes it an unappealing place to stay during winter storms.

From the airport you are looking at €120 each way for a water taxi unless you take the boat to St Marks Square and then get the free hotel boat across.  For the last two years we have arrived by train and taken a water taxi from the station, which costs a fixed €90.  My kids and I think that Venice water taxis – especially when speeding across the lagoon at full throttle – are the coolest thing in the world and we consider it €90 well spent!  My wife hides inside.

Arrival

We arrived in Venice by train as we came from the hugely impressive Cavallino Bianco family hotel in the Dolomites.  If you’ve got kids and want a very classy mountain retreat in a picture perfect mountain town, take a look at Cavallino.

You can’t fail to be impressed by your arrival at the JW Marriott as you pull into the private dock:

The check-in staff continue to be poor.  Every year they do something to annoy me.  This time it was the announcement that they were “delighted to give me a junior suite” – which, of course, was exactly the room we booked.  I don’t think that this hotel has ever given an upgrade to a Marriott Rewards elite member, although at least this year they didn’t waste my time trying to sell me one.

Our room

There are rooms scattered across the island.  The rooms in the outbuildings are more expensive and have private gardens or a plunge pool.  You are never more than two minutes walk from the hotel so don’t worry about being isolated if you book one of those.  We stick to the main building.

Your best choice with children is, in my view, one of the square Junior Suites at the back.  Even if there are only two of you travelling I would recommend taking one of these because they are well shaped compared to some of the other slightly confusing room layouts.

At one end of the suite is the bed.  The TV console is in the middle and, behind that, you have a sofa and table.  The two rollaway beds for the children – which are free if your kids are under 12 or a shocking €120 each per night if they are not – were by the window.

The TV set spins around so you can watch it from the sofa or bed.  The channel choice is pretty poor, however.

The bathroom was very large, clean and modern with Aromatherapy Associates toiletries:

and

The room had a large balcony overlooking the grounds as well.

I can’t knock it.  This was a very impressive room.  There is also a coffee machine, not pictured.

There is a big problem, however.  Wasps.  Lots and lots of them.  Plus flies, ants and pretty much every other insect you can imagine.

This was a very hot Summer across Europe and insect infestation has been a problem in a lot of places.  It is a particular problem here, and the staff admit that they cannot find the nests on the island.  My wife left the patio door open at one point and a large number of insects got in.  During the night we were all badly bitten – my kids looked like they had chicken pox.

Amusingly, the restaurant tills are pre-programmed with a code for a 20% wasp discount.  If you get attacked whilst eating outside, you get a discount as we found out one day.

Kids club

The JW Marriott Venice has a permanent kids club although there is no outdoor space, despite having a whole island at their disposal.  It is charged at €25 per child per day, unless you pay the voluntary €39 per day ‘resort fee’.  With two kids it is cheaper to pay the resort fee, except for the fact that you need to pay the fee for every day of your stay – you can’t pick and choose.

The ‘resort fee’ – which is voluntarily – is a complete waste of time if you don’t need the kids club as virtually nothing else of interest is included.

What is shockingly poor, though, is that the ONLY way to get the staff to unlock a bike so you can ride around the island is to pay the resort supplement.  As we there for three days, we were basically asked to pay (€39 x 3) €118 to rent four bikes for 15 minutes.  We might have (begrudgingly) paid €10 but not €118 ….

The pool

The pool has picked up substantially in the four years we have been coming here.

Originally, this was probably the worst kids pool ever built in the context of what could have been done.  I could never understand what Marriott and the architects were thinking.  You have a WHOLE ISLAND to play with and you build a pool which is ludicrously narrow.

It is also is far too deep.  No child under 13 can stand in it.  There is no shallow end.

The hotel has addressed this, in part, by building a good-sized paddling pool next to the main pool.  This is still not ideal because if your kids are beyond paddling age but under, say, 13 – which I reckon is the age they can stand in the pool – they are still stuck.

The hotel has also added a lot of additional sun loungers over the years, as well as a parkour climbing course and some other outdoor toys (not pictured).

There is a bar and restaurant by the pool.  The wasps made it very unpleasant to eat here, and at €11 for a can of coke it wasn’t a cheap place to get a drink either.

That’s the end of Part 1.  To read the 2nd part of my JW Marriott Venice review, click here.  If you are reading this via email, you have not been sent Part Two and will need to click through to the main Head for Points website.

The hotel website is here if you want to find out more.

Source: https://www.headforpoints.com/2018/09/11/review-jw-marriott-resort-venice/

[youdontneedum-blog]

PCT Mi774 Forester Pass, California WHERE THE MOUNTAIN MAKES A V

We woke up in a story book meadow surrounded by granite Gods that blasted holy energy sang glory be thy name. The warm summer sun did not take hint that we were at 9,000ft, the rays kissed our skin. It was Helen Keller’s birthday. (Helen got his trail name after telling the fainting story about not being able to see or hear under I-10...) I unwrapped our last pop tart and pinned a twig through it to make a candle. I sang happy birthday to him in the middle of the Sierra Nevada. It seems like a dream. It couldn’t have been more perfect except that this was some of the last of our snacks before we could reach a town late the next day. We had plenty of dinner foods, but it was impractical to stop multiple times during the day to cook dinner. 

This day we would climb our first big pass reaching over 13,100ft. Our maps warned us that this was the most dangerous pass on the trail and that we would be able to see it as we approached, sighting a V in the top of the mountain. We began hiking around 8am. We didn’t want to get up there too late or too early, because it was supposedly unsafe. We had never done shit like this, we really had no idea. The first 4 miles were flat and then gently gained elevation. Mosquitos everywhere. We wore bug nets. They bit through my pants. I had at least 30 bites already. The sweat made them itch more. They loved my blood. Nothing was ever comfortable on the PCT, you were always giving up some sort of comfort in order to gain the mind strength you would need to finish. The trail knew, it must break you to make you. 

As we started up to the shelf that met the bottom of the pass hanger started to over come my mind. Every step I took I could feel my stomach becoming more empty. I need a snack I told Helen. He pushed forward, knowing we couldn’t afford to eat our snacks this early. We would finish them off and have none left for the rest of the day and tomorrow before we could get to town. I was sure that if I went any further I would collapse and die of starvation. My mind reeled, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE WE ARE SO HUNGRY. I looked around, where is this “V” anyway. They were everywhere. All of the mountains had a V at some point. I couldn’t tell where the trail was leading us, none of the mountains in the distance looked passable. WTF.

When we reached the shelf we finally sat down to eat. Both inhaling a packet of tuna, and a protein bar. With stomachs not satisfied at all, and for that matter possibly even more hungry than before we continued on, snackless. This was the first time since being on trail that we were going to run out of food completely. I continued to point out the Vs in each wall of granite, “I bet that is where we pass over,” Yet we continued towards a wall that looked the least likely to be the one and there I saw an ant sized human pass across a sliver of snow at the very top of the vertical wall of granite before me. How the fuck do we get up there? I tried to put expectations on Forester Pass just like everything else on the trail. But those expectations would float to heaven and hell aka reality would come before me.

If you can see in the photo the whole grant wall comes into a V and a small patch of snow flows out of it. That is where we crossed the pass. We approached walking over snowfield covered lakes and through the life saving tracks of other hikers. Then we headed up a trail that had been carved into the side of this wall. We crossed the snow field at the top, with wobbling legs and trekking poles posted far down into the snow for safety. We looked down to our left, staring death in the face then climbed the last steps up and over the pass. To try and explain what it looks like on the other side of Forester Pass, is simple. When I reached the top and saw what we would be hiking through for the next few weeks, I nearly had a heart attack. MOUNTAINS further than the eye could see. HUGE DEATHLY SNOWY MOUNTAINS. There was no fucking way I would make it out of them. They were too big. I had underestimated everything on this trip so far, and I had to say sorry to my mom under my voice. 

Suds and Ultra Lite sat at the top of Forester with us. A huge glissading slide led down the other side towards what looked liked the trail miles below. There were two choices, you could either glissade down or take the longer walking route to stay safe. Ultra Lite would not let up, “Glissade, yolo, we have to yolo!” This was our first time meeting Ultra Lite. He went first, none of us had ever done it before. He hooted and hollered the whole way down, it was as if a five year old was hitting the play ground for the first time in his life. Helen went second, same thing. I saw the glow of his ora burst out of him ten fold. His laughter bounced off of the ancient rock and then into my heart. I hesitated, almost taking the long route as I watched a girl come over the pass eyes filled with the sting of fear and tears dripping down her cheeks. Fuck it, I sat down and let life take me. I went much faster than the boys, howling with a happiness and joy that hadn’t been touched for years. I could not stop laughing, and we all three laughed together uncontrollably when I reached the bottom. We watched Suds and the crying girl take the long safe walking route, post holing every 10ft. Happy with our choice we moved on. 

Ultra Lite sped ahead, it was late afternoon now and Helen and I decided to stop and make “dinner” after another short glissade down to a shelf of granite slabs. We made 3 dinners. John Muir hikers coming south on trail warned us of the dangerous river crossings and snow fields over the next 200 miles. PCT hikers coming north had either just almost died crossing Forester, or had the time of their lives. There was no in between 

We finished our dinners and had two packs of instant potatoes left before we reached town late afternoon the next day. I accepted that I would not eat for the rest of the day and night. We were in Kings Canyon, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. We were there. We often took moments to breathe in the now, because right now as I write this, I can close my eyes and remember being there. I can feel the same gratitude in my gut as I felt then. And I cry often. I cry as if I am missing someone who had given everything to me, without ever asking for anything in return. I cry as if I had been to heaven and spoke with God, been cradled in the peace that God is, then put back on Earth because I was not ready to stay there. I so dearly want to go back, and it is hard not to be bitter at the world for not letting that be a reality for us wild ones. The truest most real thing that a person can do is somewhat withheld from them. 

Later that evening with 2 miles before we wanted to make camp an array of flags hung across the trail. A fire was lit and was surrounded by hikers. An angel dressed in a civil war uniform greeted us, “thou hath pass do carry cheeses or fruits of any sort?” In the middle of no where in the canyons of the Sierra Nevada, a group of angels made us magic. They were staying for two nights and had used pack mules to bring in the goods. We ate spaghetti, Helen got another birthday cake made of tortillas, marshmallows, chocolate, and candy bars. We sang him happy birthday and his eyes filled with the glow of fire. We did not go to bed hungry that night. The trail provides, and GOD is always with us. 

[foulserpent]

what woukd you say are the most interesting bugs? :o

oh man this is a special interest so im gonna talk a lot. also this is by no means all of the really cool unique ones, just some of my favorites off the top of my head

jewel wasps:

their reproductive behavior relies on laying their eggs in cockroaches. they sting the roach, and the venom makes them sluggish and unable to perform normal escape responses. they then lay their egg and drag the roach into a burrow, where it stays until the egg hatches. the larvae tend to eat the roaches organs in an order to maximize the amount of time the roach stays alive.

a lot of animals paralyze prey as food for their young, but jewel wasps are fairly unique bc their venom doesnt actually immobilize the roach (theyre still capable of most motor skills) but appears to only affect the roach’s survival instincts. stung roaches can move just fine, but will not swim to avoid drowning or avoid painful stimuli. so basically their venom makes roaches apathetic enough to just sit in one place unmoving while theyre eaten alive.

this video shows the whole process and is pretty cool https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovo_T0KqdYg

epomis beetles

these guys are pretty cool bc their life cycle Depends on attracting predators, and then eating the attempted predators.

as larvae, they feed exclusively on amphibians. they lure frogs by looking like a good meal, often waving their antennae and mouthparts around to entice them, and then when the frog lunges they latch on and start feeding on their fluids. even when the larvae miss and are grabbed or swallowed by the frog, they are generally spat out or regurgitated, at which point the larvae attack.

as adults theyre generalist predators, but still prey on frogs, now by severing the leg muscles or their spine to immobilize them and then eating them

heres a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ou3_q41-rc

hive based insects in general, especially honeybees, but one of my faves that arent quite as well known are leafcutter ants

they are technically the only known animals outside of humans that make their own food. the leaves they collect are used to feed a fungus species, which the ants then use as food. the ants also have a type of bacteria that lives on their skin and combats pests to the fungi. 

the other really wild part is that the fungus can be considered domesticated by the ants, over millions of years theyve stopped producing spores and instead produce gongylidia that serve no purpose except to feed the ants. 

so like. the only other animals known to practice a form of agriculture and to domesticate other organisms are ants. maybe not with the same intentionality as us, but it’s still really fucking cool.

bombardier beetles

theyre probably the closest thing we have in the real world to a fire breathing dragon. when disturbed, a chemical reaction within their abdomen causes a release of boiling liquid and gas thats about 200 degrees fahrenheit, which is more than enough to deter or even kill predators.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgqF-ND2XcY

trapdoor spiders

these guys build burrows with camouflaged entrances, and sit just below the surface waiting for prey to come by. when they sense vibrations near the entrance, they pop out at high speeds and grab their prey

heres a compilation of them hunting, warning for very sudden jumps  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6hme9lfvB8\

i could include several other spiders, like bolas spiders (which lure in moths with specialized webs as lures), diving bell spiders (which are entirely aquatic and live in underwater webs filled with air bubbles), and net casting spiders (which lunge at prey and entangle it with a netlike web held in their legs).

some more honorable mentions would be tarantula wasps, mayflies, stalk eyed flies, mantids, and many more but ive worn myself out typing all this lol

[rgmonzon-folio]

Mambabarang For Hire

Betsy was an office clerk by day, a mambabarang by night.

 She stood at five flat, her curvy body accented by her tailored office uniform, her face round and painted with only the slightest make-up, her skin brown and smooth. She was smart and well-mannered, partly because of her parents’ upbringing, partly because they spent for her education. She grew up mostly ordinary, if not for her penchant for insects, which was perhaps the influence of her male cousins who loved to trap beetles in match boxes.

Her barang business started long into her career in advertising. She guessed she had already been casting hexes as part of her day job, persuading people to buy things they never really needed. She was always well spoken and dutiful, easily one of the firm's best assets. If she had any flaw, it was that she loved vengeance. She didn't enjoy it for herself since she was strangely a forgiving person, and she didn't make much enemies, so she poked her nose into other people's fights, helping officemates exact their revenge. What started from simple blackmails turned to the dark and mystical eventually.

 Soon, things escalated enough for them to put a simple, almost nonchalant poster down the office that read in bold print: Mambabarang for Hire. The board they had for ads wasn't claustrophobic, it allowed for space and breathing room instead of filling every nook and cranny with a variety of print ads like in college bulletin boards. It was easy enough to spot in a busy city, as it should, lest they all be fired from their jobs.

 The ad contained the following first few copies: MAMBABARANG FOR HIRE! Have revenge at the tip of your fingers! The proceeding lines had Betsy's professional email address which used an alias, as well as her cellphone number, and a simplified link to a Google Form, which served as a simple application to Betsy's hexing services.

 The survey looked like this:

 Name: *optional

Name of target:

Sex of target:

Offense of target:

 What kind of insect would you prefer to use with the hex?

 cockroaches

beetles

maggots

ants

others (pls specify:)

     Please select a duration of your hex:

 1 day (Php 200)

2 days (Php 350)

3 days (Php 500)

5 days (Php 650)

1 week (Php 800)

     Thank you! That is all. May you wish to inflict more specific hexes than specified above, feel free to request the Mambabarang via this email address: edna_giustina@gmail.com . Services charges vary depending on package availed.

 The very first request came about a day after the ad was posted. It was a woman whose husband cheated on her, a typical case. She wanted the mistress to pay the price. She requested the maggots to torment the ‘tramp’ for a day.

 "Good choice!" Nathan, Betsy’s closest, perhaps only friend, smiled while reading the form response. "Maggots are hrrr," he shuddered in revulsion. "I once saw a trash bag with a hole on the alleyway. I thought it was filled with rice until I took a closer look. My mistake! The grains looked like they were moving, but they were actually maggots! Invasive little things!"

 "Yeah," Betsy nonchalantly agreed. "Especially when you have poor kitchen hygiene."

 "Ughh," Nathan groaned, "I will never forgive Ton Ton for that!"

 "Come on," Betsy stood up as she switched her PC off, the form response fading into black. She slung her handbag over her shoulders and tucked her swivel chair beneath her desk. Together, she and Nathan headed out of the office.

 "What, you can't work your dark magic here?" Nathan sniggered.

 "I can't bring jars full of creepy crawlies to work, can I?" Betsy eyed him mischievously. "Unless that's what you want-"

 "No!" Nathan's face turned ashen. He loosened his tie and adjusted his collar. "I'd rather not see how these things work. Although I am extremely curious."

 "But curiosity killed the cat," said Betsy as they crossed the street along with dozens of other people trying to beat the 5p.m. rush.

 "Yes, and this cat would rather not know how the kalaguyo would end up with maggots sprouting from her nose, mouth ears and.." Nathan paused, "her unspeakables."

 "Well, the process is more tolerable than the result, I assure you," said Betsy as they reached the end of the road where jeepneys stopped over. Barkers' yells polluted the already thick city air, and the pair waited for a jeep en route to their homes.

 "I'm glad the result isn't something both you and I have to see," Betsy eyed Nathan, who snickered then smirked in response.

 When a jeep with enough seats finally arrived, the pair boarded. "Shouldn't the husband be punished, too, though?"

 "Eh, if it were up to me then yes," Betsy scoffed, "it takes two to tango."

 "So would you? Would you make maggots squirm from the treacherous husband's ass?"

 Betsy shook her head. "That's not what the client wants. That's not what I'm going to do."

 "Ah, I see," Nathan nodded, "you're not gonna get paid for the extra service!"

 "Nathan!" Betsy feigned offense, placing her hand on her chest like ladies did in black and white movies. "Is everything I do a money making scheme to you?"

 They both laughed, while the world heeded no attention to the pair in corporate attire, talking about hexes and maggots. "But I hadn't thought about it that way," Betsy considered, tapping her index finger on her chin. "The extra service, I mean. In fact, I can hex anyone I want! Anyone that crosses me, really."

 "But maybe I'm better off not putting too much input into things," Betsy concluded with a shrug, and she noted by Nathan's nod and expression that he agreed. She noted that she should ask him soon how she got a friend that supported such a.. shady endeavor, to say the least.

 That night, she took it upon herself to call him after the ritual, feeling certain that she would have her first satisfied customer the next day. Her giddiness kept her from the lull of sleep for a while, as she thought about how the husband’s sneaky seductress would find her maggots. She laughed, at thought that it was better than any late night drama local networks could ever come up with. She fell asleep quite satisfied.

 By the end of the next two weeks, Betsy already had five customers. She took note of the people and the reasons, two of them she knew personally. But of course, as a professional, she knew she had no right to disclose what she's learned.. except with Nathan. She couldn’t help but tattle especially about their high school principal having her way with an enemy from the school administration. Nathan didn't find it hard to believe, however. Mrs. Cuevas always was such a.. questionable character.

 "I'm surprised she isn't a witch herself," Nathan hissed, sitting at the edge of Betsy's desk as she finished the remainder of her lunch. Betsy responded by raising an eyebrow.

 "I mean - I didn't mean that that's what you are!" Nathan stood, suddenly panicky and defensive, raising his splayed fingers. "I think you're a perfectly normal human being, Bets!"

 Betsy proceeded to scowl at him before her lips broke into a grin. When Nathan's eyes scrunched in confusion, Betsy broke into a laughing fit.

 "Just kidding, Nate!" she struggled to speak as her laughter died down. "I guess that's what's I am," she nodded, to which Nathan also responded with a nod and a grin.

 "I just, haven't thought about that way."

 A moment of comfortable silence passed as she finished her cheap cafeteria macaroni. She brought her monitor back to life and logged into her online account for her debit card. She cracked a grin as she saw her clients’ payment coming in. Nathan whistled as he bent down beside her to take a closer look. He then looked around to check for officemates snooping around. “Wow, this is actually a.. good business venture. Income-wise, I mean,” he whispered.

“I could give you a percent of it,” Betsy shrugged nonchalantly.

 “N-no!” Nathan backed away from the screen and straightened out, loosening his tie. “That’s not what I meant.”

 Betsy beamed at him, a hand scrolling through her mouse absentmindedly. “Don’t worry Nathan, you’re like my adviser here. I think you deserve it.”

 “Doesn’t mean I should take it,” Nathan shrugged, heat rising slowly from his neck to his face. Betsy only sighed and rolled her eyes.

 “We’ll have dinner then? It’s on me,” Betsy suggested.

 “Aright,” Nathan nodded and smiled, “that sounds nice.”

 Several weeks had passed, and the lives of Betsy and Nathan proceeded like that. Betsy would get her occasional customers, and they would go out to eat once the paycheck rolled in. To her surprise, she was making enough money to amp up her savings.

 She never really had reason to have second doubts on her clients request, until one morning when she’d just gotten to the office and checked her Gmail. Her temples were already pounding with sharp pain. She massaged her thumbs against them, doing little to repress the feeling. Her eyes were hot with sleep deprivation. She scanned her emails anyways, occasionally drinking her to-go coffee, and saw the first hex form for the day. The client had wanted to hex Nathaniel Bautista.

 Betsy’s chest tightened. Panic overpowered her headache, and she frantically swiveled around to scan the office for any sight of her friend. He wasn’t there yet.

 Her hands grew clammy, as she held her mouse and coffee. She let go and cracked her knuckles, not knowing what to do. She breathed in, and realized she hadn’t even read the client’s reason for wanting to hex her closest and perhaps only friend. She felt like her blood was rushing to her head all at once, with her heart working overboard.

 Part of her didn’t want to know what Nathan had done - she came across several horrid offenses reported by her clients, from abuse to rape. She hoped it was just a jealous person, Betsy knew Nathan was handsome enough to have left some sort of trail of disappointed hearts. If she would’ve found out that her friend was a rapist, Betsy wouldn’t know what to do.

 Her eyes finally made their way to the client’s response, which read: I just want him to feel bad for once. His life is too perfect, his life always was perfect. He got everything he wanted. It’s unfair. That’s good enough reason, right?

 Betsy let out a sigh of relief. She even smiled for her client’s reason - though her eyes glinted with malevolence. Somehow, a name from high school resonated in her, a name of someone who had always been jealous of Nathan. She shook her head, dismissing the idea, as there could be a number of people jealous of her best friend, and the information would be of no value to her anyways. She valued the anonymity of her clients.

 But she still lingered upon the question, her hands clasped under her nose. While she hexed a number of offenders for grave reasons, she had also hexed a number of offenders for petty reasons. She even had a feeling some of her clients just wanted a distasteful prank. A knot twisted in her stomach. For the first time, she felt panic at the thought of what she had done to the ‘offender’ of Mrs. Cuevas, and of the rest of the clients that followed.

 Offenders - she had called them targets in her form.

 The funny thing was that oftentimes she knew the targets had shady personalities, however, save from Mrs. Cuevas, she knew nothing about her clients. She did value their anonymity...

 She ended up asking herself whether she would hex Nathan anyways.

 Her immediate answer was no. No way in hell, she thought, of course not! She then felt guilt creep against her skin, like goosebumps that seeped inward, until there was a chill in her chest. There was no amount of money in the world that would make her harm Nathan, Nathan who had stood by her side all these years, Nathan who she easily ironed out her disagreements with. Nathan who was never her enemy even when they fought, they just forgave and forgave without second thought. With Nathan as a friend, Betsy never had adversaries of her own.

 And it wasn’t like what her clients paid her was much, they were more than a stretch to get her even domestic plain tickets.

 But what if the client had good reason? a voice inside her pressed. What if Nathan had killed or raped behind your back?

 Betsy reclined on her swivel chair and closed her eyes, which were still hot from last night’s excessive computer monitor exposure and lack of rest that followed. She heard the glass double doors of their office open and in came Nathan, wearing a particularly well-fitting polo shirt, his hair neatly trimmed and framing his face nicely, the gold watch Betsy had given him glimmering under the florescent lights. Her breath hitched and as he caught her eye, his brows creased in concern.

 “Hey, what’s up?” Nathan asked, placing his 7-Eleven coffee on Betsy’s desk. “You look.. out of it. The extra work got you last night?”

 Betsy nodded, still tense.

 “Hey,” Nathan’s eyes panned to Betsy’s screen, exposing a form response, “you have a client for today-”

 Betsy switched off her monitor before Nathan could read its content. “Yeah, I don’t feel like checking that right now,” Betsy let herself heave a nervous, strained laugh.

 Nathan sat at the free portion of her desk, which Betsy realized she never filled up for him, and took his coffee again. “Is it starting to be too much?”

 Betsy nodded, relieved with the chance to give a genuine answer. “It’s just, the things I know, the things I found out,” she sighed. “I mean I knew people were capable of doing bad things, gas chambers happened in World War Two for Pete’s sake but, it just all seems to real.”

 “I understand,” Nathan nodded, gently placing his hand on hers.

You always do, Betsy smiled weakly, but said nothing.

 “Tell you what,” Nathan reciprocated the smile, “we should relax later. When was the last time we went to a bar and let loose?”

 “Too long,” Betsy sighed.

 “Then let’s go tonight! Tomorrow’s our day off and I’ll be the designated driver,” Nathan offered, beaming.

 “Sounds great,” Betsy agreed.

 When the night fell, the smell of alcohol made Betsy’s stomach churn before she even sipped much of it. They sat by the counter of a particularly crowdless bar, a bottle of cold beer in hand.

 “Come on, Bets! Relax,” Nathan urged, resting a hand on her shoulder.

With a sigh, Betsy took a swig of beer, and muttered, “I think I don’t want to be a witch anymore.”

 Nathan’s brows raised in shock.

 “It’s-- It’s too much,” Betsy concluded with another swig. Tiredness already slackened her arm and leg muscles, so she knew she didn’t have much power in her to drink more than her current bottle of beer. “I don’t know what I was even thinking, to be honest,” she gave a strained laugh, and another swig.

 “Easy there,” Nathan warned, brows creased. He grabbed her wrist to stop her from taking another swig. At this rate, she would be out cold and he’d have to drag her all the way to her house, only to face her mother’s stink eye.

 But that’s not where they ended up after the bottle of beer was discarded. Instead, Betsy was facing the rim of the bar’s dirty toilet, the graffiti all around the walls swimming in her head. Her stomach was churning, and something was clawing her way out her throat, but for a while, nothing was coming out.

 Nathan was patiently waiting behind her, carrying her things. He had told her not to kneel on the shady bar floor, as her knees were exposed by her pencil skirt. But her tired body gave in, so he just put a length of tissue under them.

When there was a frantic knock on the door, Betsy finally threw up. Dozens of small, black cockroaches landed on the already repulsive toilet. Tears streamed down her eyes, and her heart clenched in fear of whether anything else would come out next - or what could come out next.

 For all the times she’d used her clients hatred, she never knew she had learned to hate herself.

[windycityparrot]

5 Answers To Questions Affecting A Parrots Domestic And Native Environments

Hi Mitch. Just a comment of concern. Clearly, I understand the need to know a bird's sex but I'm also very concerned about this kit that anybody can buy, including many of the idiots out there that own birds. Editors note: not my words Do you really want to encourage all owners to pluck their birds feathers and cut their nails too short in order to get blood for testing? There are experienced owners out there that could do it but there are probably many more out there who could cause an emergency and pain. I have lived with 17 budgies but I would would still go to a vet for something like that. I wish you would write a follow up to that article to inspire caution. The article makes me very nervous frankly. Also, I must add that I think I have gotten a bit spoiled. I missed hearing about and seeing Bacon and Eggs this Sunday. Maybe next Sunday? Your loyal fan, Barbara G Hey Barb Have you seen this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDmD9aM1yZA like they say - "you can't fix stupid" That said surgical sexing is always an option and you make a great point. If you're not familiar with the procedure, it's when a vet makes a small slti near the sexual organs of a bird. If gonads are found, we note the fact that the bird is a male by a small tattoo under the birds right wing - click for pic Takes the guess work. Sometime the tattoo is thought to be an injury or bruise. shifting gears You're right we need to do more with bacon & eggs  I've actually been working on their cage a lot i think I'll compare the initial cage set up and whats led to all the changes - I'm on the case - thanx Essential Oils and Parrots Question I recently got into essential oils and learned that ants and spiders hate Peppermint. I made a 2 ounce bottle of water with 3 drops of Peppermint Essential oil and spray it around my doors and windows. I recently started spraying the table I read the morning paper on because I think the paper brings in those tiny ants. This morning I noticed a few ants on Pye's outside cage. So I put her in the house and sprayed the cage. I need to know that I'm not poisoning her.

Can you advise me? She's a 13 year old White crowned Pionus. Thanks Mitch! I've had her since she was 6 months old and she means everything to me. She eats Tropican Pellets and Fruity Nutriberries as a treat. Hi Kippi Yes, Spiders and Ants may not like peppermint, but it is too harsh a scented product to be used closely around birds. The oils can be hard on their breathing. No highly scented products should be used around birds be it lemon, pine, peppermint, perfume, hair spray, cleaning products, bleach, air fresheners, smoke, candles, etc. Birds lungs are able to trap many of the molecule sized particles in the air and it can affect them badly. Please use the oils sparingly and not in spray form. Thank you Catherine Hi Kippi, Mitch here. I too have used peppermint oil around doors and windows not near by birds. To give you one of my classic answers to your question: "Anything that takes the space where oxygen should be can harm birds". We are real purists. My advice is why take the chance on using any essential oil too near year birds. Only in other parts of the home quite a distance from your beloved Pionus. And, there's any easy safe solution: Mango makes a great product that is completely safe to use anywhere near birds EXCEPT on the bird itself. I'd be extra safe by letting the product dry on the cage before letting the bird back in, but since it doesn't have to be sprayed heavily, that won't take long. Look at Pest Control Aviary Bug Control Spray by Mango.   The reason this product is so safe is it is made from a flowering plant found in nature, one you might be familiar with: the chrysanthemum. This plant contains pyrethrin which kills and repels bugs commonly found around the home. It has a residual probably of one week, but my experience is that it seems to last longer once the trails and paths of ants are repelled. I know you will find it takes care of your pesty problem and both you and your Pionus will be totally safe when used according to label directions. Please check our our post on ants in bird cages here How can I stimulate my parrot? Quora What can i do to prevent him from getting bored? I have a Agapornis (lovebird).

I have great respect for Mr. Klugman (on Quora) so I humbly take the opposite view when it comes to being a caged bird keeper to love birds. It is my "opinion" that it is easier to bond and socialize with a single bird than with a pair - there are exceptions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmIjDn4MnkA That said there have been no studies that indicate. Love birds in pairs are happier than single birds. The boredom, socialization and enrichment issues with love birds are the same with any bird - it all starts with you the caged bird keeper. Just because you spent $500 on a bird cage and $200 on bird toys - is no guarantee your bird is going to be happy. Generally speaking birds chew up things around the house because they see humans engaging those things like remote controls and keyboards and mice. Birds think “boy my human is having fun with that toy so should I”. By actually engaging any new toys before you introduce them to the bird or hang them in the bird cage by playing with the toy,  kissing the toy and making fun noises, causing the bird to think this must be fun will also help. Windy City Parrot sells many bird toys and we categorize them as species specific. We also offer a complete category of free and do-it-yourself bird toys. A wrapped fortune cookie is a lot of fun. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cM82MDnFWs   Nested 3 ounce Dixie drinking cups with treats at each level that a bird can discover will keep them entertained. Fill up small old Easter baskets with shredded will paper that's been balled up with favorite treats for the birds to discover. Feathered factoid: this is not 100% accurate but generally speaking you can tell the sex of a lovebird by how it shreds paper with a female shredding paper in lengths and placing and under their wings whereas males shred paper creating confetti.   https://youtu.be/6p82L4imRZ0 I do agree with Mercedes providing enrichment for any parrot you can’t have enough bird toys we feel that there should be 20 to 30 toys in every bird's cage providing not only enrichment but privacy. As with any species and some general best practices is important to know how birds interact with bird toys and accessories. We have found over the years that love birds tend to play with toys when they can hang from the bars of their cage rather than traveling to toys's hanging from the top of the cage. File under environmental versus physical hope that helps mitchr

Does a parrot flock have a leader?  (Quora)

No, parrots have no leaders. Other species of bird flocks do. Galliformes, ground eating birds like turkeys and chickens. Geese, and it's been shown scientifically using WebCams strapped onto the backs of homing pigeons that in-flight both the pigeons and geese have multiple leaders throughout the day that will change. Each day the entire leadership may change so that the underlings, so to speak may be the leaders of tomorrow. Parrot flocks have rules that everyone follows. This allows them to be most productive. If someone is not carrying their weight they will be removed by the flock because the bird threatens the entire flocks safety. According with Wikipedia (which probably has it right) The three main factors in a working flock are: Separation - avoid crowding neighbours (short range repulsion) Alignment - the behavior displayed when the birds are lining up Cohesion - steer towards the average position of neighbours (long range attraction) Here's a flock of I don't know, hundreds of thousands, a million budgies - where is the leader of this flock? https://youtu.be/wyfCMrqitWI?t=76   Do you see anyone calling the shots for these macaws at this Peruvian clay lick?   https://youtu.be/VTVigNA3KCY?t=222 "Once again this is a case of humans interjecting their misguided thoughts and philosophies about cage bird care". There is no need to dominate your pet bird. Your pet bird wants to be an associate not a slave. How does the environment influence the type of materials a bird uses to build its nest? (Quora) First off - not all birds build nests. Parrots (most hook bills) in general live in the hollows of trees. The Quaker parrot is the only member of the Psiticine family to build a nest and those are usually huge allowing for many birds.

This enables these feral parrots to live in Arctic conditions like Chicago where tonight it's 8° and there are hundreds if not thousands of monk parakeets living along the lake shore here in this city. spoiler alert  - the end is a shocker! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3NGeghqxzY As deforestation affects the inventory of trees with suitable hollows in Australia, certain birds like the female eclectus parrot will actually kill a male baby if she feels her tree may be flooded and will not support a male and a female. House finches in populated Mexican cities have learned to use discarded cigarette filters to line their bird nests. They somehow discovered along the way that nicotine will keep out parasites helping babies remain safe in the nest. As 3 examples https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql3yNQtl1qY   Read the full article

[m0rgansux]

200: My crush’s name is: I guess I have a crush on Justin

199: I was born in: North Carolina

198: I am really: Sad

197: My cellphone company is: AT&T

196: My eye color is: Blue

195: My shoe size is: 7 ish

194: My ring size is: I have no idea something between 6 and 8 maybe

193: My height is: 5′ 9 1/2′’

192: I am allergic to: Ants I think and maybe the sun

191: My 1st car was: A 2007 Kia Rondo

190: My 1st job was: Selling Avon

189: Last book you read: Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher

188: My bed is: COMFY

187: My pet: s are cool I have a lot

186: My best friend: K8 bc no one else likes me

185: My favorite shampoo is: Organix

184: Xbox or ps3: I haven’t played either 

183: Piggy banks are: CUTE

182: In my pockets: Nothing 

181: On my calendar: Birthdays, cat rabies dates, appointments, work schedule 

180: Marriage is: NEAT

179: Spongebob can: Eat my ass 

178: My mom: is a cool lady 

177: The last three songs I bought were: I use apple music so I don’t buy songs but the last 3 I downloaded were  We Don’t Talk Anymore (feat. Selena Gomez) - Charlie Puth Just a Dream - Nelly Airplanes Pt 2. (Feat. Eminem and Hayley Williams) - BoB ....don’t judge me ok I was havin a time last night 

176: Last YouTube video watched: An analysis of an episode of Black Mirror 

175: How many cousins do you have? 0

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother and sister 

173: Are your parents divorced? No

172: Are you taller than your mom? Like 4 or 5 inches 

171: Do you play an instrument? I played the violin up until a couple years ago 

170: What did you do yesterday? Cleaned out cages at petsmart 

[I BELIEVE IN….]

169: Love at first sight: Idk fam

168: Luck: I don’t think so 

167: Fate: No

166: Yourself: No

165: Aliens: Yes

164: Heaven: I don’t know

163: Hell: No

162: God: I don’t know

161: Horoscopes: Maybe

160: Soul mates: No

159: Ghosts: Maybe

158: Gay Marriage: Yes???

157: War: No

156: Orbs: I don’t think so 

155: Magic: No

[THIS OR THAT]

154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

153: Drunk or High: High

152: Phone or Online: Phone

151: Red heads or Black haired: Both

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes

149: Hot or cold: Cold

148: Summer or winter: Winter

147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla

145: Night or Day: Night

144: Oranges or Apples: Apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heels: Flip flops 

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Do u mean like ugly personality bc obviously I’m going to go for sweet and poor

137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Buried or cremated: I......don’t know

134: Singing or Dancing: Singing

133: Coach or Chanel: I don’t care

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Oh my GOD Chris Daughtry 

131: Small town or Big city: Big city 

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: It depends on the movie 

128: Manicure or Pedicure: Pedicure 

127: East Coast or West Coast: Both??

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers 

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I don’t care at all 

[HERE’S WHAT I THINK ABOUT]

122: War: UH WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR  ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN

121: George Bush: He’s a fucking monkey 

120: Gay Marriage: I support it

119: The presidential election: Sad and disappointing 

118: Abortion: Pro-choice 

117: MySpace: It died like 500 years ago 

116: Reality TV: I don’t like it except for The Voice sometimes 

115: Parents: They neat

114: Back stabbers: ....they suck???

113: Ebay: It’s kinda dead tbh 

112: Facebook: Moms use it too much 

111: Work: Cute dogs and a cute boy 

110: My Neighbors: I don’t know them but they’ve waved at us before 

109: Gas Prices: I wish they were lower 

108: Designer Clothes: I shop at H&M and Target 

107: College: Waste of my time and money 

106: Sports: I don’t care about sports 

105: My family: They’re nice but I need a break from them sometimes 

104: The future: How dare u ask me about that 

[LAST TIME I….]

103: Hugged someone: It’s been like 50 million years 

102: Last time you ate: A few minutes ago 

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: A couple days ago 

100: Cried in front of someone: DUDE LIKE NEVER 

99: Went to a movie theater: A couple months ago

98: Took a vacation: It’s been like 3 years 

97: Swam in a pool: It’s been like 5 years 

96: Changed a diaper: It’s been like 7 years omg 

95: Got my nails done: About a month ago

94: Went to a wedding: 2011

93: Broke a bone: Never 

92: Got a piercing: Last March

91: Broke the law: Probably within the last week 

90: Texted: A few minutes ago 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: K8

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My cats bc I can’t take them all 

87: The last movie I saw: I don’t remember 

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Nothing

85: The thing I’m not looking forward to: MY LIFE

84: People call me: Morgan :\\\

83: The most difficult thing to do is: A lot of things

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Once

81: My zodiac sign is: Leo

80: The first person i talked to today was: Probably my dad

79: First time you had a crush: Kindergarten 

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: No one :)

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Probably today??

76: Right now I am talking to: No one

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Lol who knows

74: I have/will get a job: I’m a cashier

73: Tomorrow: I’m going to breakfast with Angelica, then the dentist

72: Today: I did nothing

71: Next Summer: I don’t even know 

70: Next Weekend: Working or doing nothing 

69: I have these pets: 15 cats and a turtle

68: The worst sound in the world: I hate Styrofoam squeaking sounds 

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: MEEEE

66: People that make you happy: NO ONE

65: Last time I cried: Today

64: My friends are: NEAT

63: My computer is: FINE BUT I DON’T USE IT

62: My School: I graduated 

61: My Car: A 2007 Kia Rio

60: I lose all respect for people who: Yell at cashiers 

59: The last movie I cried at was: Who knows 

58: Your hair color is: Red

57: TV shows you watch: Criminal Minds, New Girl, Family Guy, Parks and Rec

56: Favorite web site: Tumblr or Youtube

55: Your dream vacation: A vacation in general 

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: BRUH I DON’T KNOW 

53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t know honestly 

52: My room is: A cross between a young adult hipster’s room and an emo teenager’s room

51: My favorite celebrity is: Matthew Gray Gubler sure

50: Where would you like to be: In my bed 

49: Do you want children: No

48: Ever been in love: No

47: Who’s your best friend: k8

46: More guy friends or girl friends: I have 2 friends and they’re both girls 

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Attention

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: NONE OF UR BUSINESS

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I don’t even have a 5 month plan

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Yeah but who knows where it went

41: Have you pre-named your children: NO EW

40: Last person I got mad at: Dominique 

39: I would like to move to: Anywhere else 

38: I wish I was a professional: Cat petter 

[MY FAVORITES….]

37: Candy: Sour patch kids 

36: Vehicle: I don’t have one

35: President: I am not educated enough to answer this 

34: State visited: New York

33: Cellphone provider: Not AT&T

32: Athlete: None

31: Actor: My mind is blanking

30: Actress: ^^^

29: Singer: Brendon Urie maybe 

28: Band: Fall Out Boy

27: Clothing store: H&M

26: Grocery store: Whole Foods 

25: TV show: Criminal Minds 

24: Movie: Scream, 13 Going on 30

23: Website: U have def asked this already 

22: Animal: Cats

21: Theme park: I have only been to Carrowinds and Busch Gardens 

20: Holiday: Christmas 

19: Sport to watch: None

18: Sport to play: NONE

17: Magazine: I haven’t read a magazine in 45 years 

16: Book: I literally just forgot every book I’ve ever read 

15: Day of the week: I don’t have one 

14: Beach: I don’t like the beach 

13: Concert attended: PATD or Monumentour 

12: Thing to cook: Desserts 

11: Food: Sushi

10: Restaurant: Blue Asia 

9: Radio station: Modern rock 98.7

8: Yankee candle scent: Idk fam I like incense-y kinda smells 

7: Perfume: I just got a trio of Nest perfumes and I really like those right now 

6: Flower: Roses???

5: Color: Black

4: Talk show host: None of them

3: Comedian: Bo Burnham

2: Dog breed: Pittbull 

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Who knows there were so many questions I don’t even remember,