#except we don't have anything like that here

[bandtrees]

the thing about curly is that it feels like a copout to describe him as "too nice" but i think that really is the situation with him. i feel when talking about him as a leader there's a lot of talk about the anya and jimmy stuff but i feel not a lot about the parts that show his passiveness causing problems before then.

most notably, that he let daisuke aboard a ship not made for five people, and that he told the others about the layoffs before he was meant to. both very well-intentioned, interpersonally Nice things to do, that were welcome as a friend who cares about the crew, but less so as an authority figure who's supposed to have a spine about those sorts of things.

he's not really thinking about the repercussions for revealing this information, or the impact it'll have on his crew's mental states in the months they have left for their last haul, because in his eyes - and this is something he tells both anya and jimmy - they'll Get Through It Together. curly is someone who reassures the people around him a lot in his dialogue. he cares a lot about people but does, in fact, care too much, and when it comes down to it, he can't do much except care.

an important thing to note with the anya situation (specifically in contrast to the "curly only cared about jimmy" take i see around) is that curly does reassure her, and i think did genuinely believe what he was saying when he told her everything was going to be okay and that they'd figure it out together. it's just that he also told those things to jimmy, and when you're a person as passive as curly, if you don't put your foot down people are going to weasel in and use that as an opening.

curly was a good friend, but not a good leader. there's only so much that reassurances without tangible action can do for someone in the state anya was in. he likely let daisuke board because he felt for and liked him, disregarding the fact it was literally unsafe for him to do so because of the pod situation. he told the crew they were getting laid off because it felt right for him to do so, he acted as a "friend" and not as a "leader".

and this is really cool contrast to jimmy, imo, who has no sense of compassion and is quick to take impulsive, ruthless decisions he expects praise for by sole virtue of being hard. jimmy would rather mouthwash someone's open wounds and force another to commit cannibalism than mercy-kill them - because someone dying under his care means he failed, and he can't have that, and so he will drag out their suffering for as long as humanly possible. he can't actually face the consequences of his actions.

both of them have this mantra of "i can fix it" without actually fixing much of anything - however i think curly differs in that he's a compassionate person who doesn't mind being on the same level as his crew (for better or worse), meanwhile jimmy can never shake the title of "captain" and the inflated sense of importance it gives him and that he projects onto curly. curly cares but doesn't act, jimmy acts but doesn't care.

BUT - i think a really interesting thing here too is how they act in the immediate danger of the crash. jimmy hides with his hands on his head, catatonic, while curly rushes in to try and salvage the ship even when it'll endanger him. jimmy is unable to face the gravity of what he did, while curly - even if he's not a good captain socially - is willing to put himself in danger to fix it. it gives the impression that while curly can't raise a hand against other people, he's willing to go down with his ship and put others before himself.

and putting others before himself is his entire relationship with jimmy, no? curly's dialogue with his crewmates is very reassuring, with a generous "we'll fix it together" attitude (see his patience with daisuke in the foam scene, and how he offers to do jimmy's psych eval when anya doesn't want to (compared to how jimmy would likely handle those situations, as we see when he yells at anya when asked to do tasks for her)) - BUT i would argue it's even moreso apparent with jimmy.

curly's povs, in my mind, offer the views on characters we don't see from jimmy's perspective, as jimmy cherrypicks scenes to paint anya as incompetent, daisuke as stupid and spoiled, swansea as mean and unstable - with curly, we see anya is gossipy and likes to joke around, daisuke is willing to fix problems by himself even if he struggles, et cetera. and with curly, we see, in how he talks to and about jimmy, he's very... concerned for him? and walks on eggshells around him.

^^^ after jimmy has pivoted a conversation curly was having about his life to be about his insecurities, and curly takes the bait and reassures him.

in general, he seems wary of jimmy as someone who will blow up if not reassured.

and he talks to, and about him, like he's taken on this quasi-therapist "responsible" role for him. he has this very... mental health-centered way of talking to jimmy - we'll fix it together, one day at a time, hey i believe in you, etc. which gives me the impression of, and this happens very often, a very trusting and overly-empathetic guy who's been roped into a relationship with someone whose safety and actions have been made his responsibility.

(i obviously don't mean this to woobify curly, or to diminish the game's commentary on rape culture, but rather to express that there's more to curly's behavior around jimmy than "shitty men cover for eachother".)

and i think one of the ultimate tragedies of curly's character is that, in the end, what jimmy projects on him -

-was true. this is how curly thought, before he was forced to come to terms, via experiencing jimmy's abuse of him, witnessing anya's suicide and the others' bodies, that jimmy was a monster who was never going to care about curly the way curly cared about him.

but, because jimmy views curly, now disabled, as a complete blank slate because he physically cannot speak for himself, jimmy continues to project upon him the dynamic that did exist between them - no matter the horrors he puts curly through, because if curly let him get away with it then, he'd let him get away with it now, right?

and when curly didn't put his foot down when it mattered, he now no longer can - and so jimmy's words, as long as he's as unable to speak for himself as he was back then, will be in his mouth forever.

:(

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 2

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2])

I was so looking forward to brighten this particular scene, it's the darkest yet and it's such a beautiful one it's a pity to miss even one detail

oh no lilia stop being so cute????

have you ever seen jen with a bigger smile? and she's quiet as usual, it's almost like more than the ride she's enjoying how much fun her friends are having. especially lilia, those two have been forming a bond that is equal parts bickering and a growing respect

I'm just glad alice had this moment of pure unadulterated joy before it came all crashing down

agatha is very, very quiet. despite never letting herself feel anything freely, she takes a moment to close her eyes and enjoy the beauty of it all

she looks back at rio, so sensual and confident

how can kathryn hahn convey so much with so little time? her breath catches at her sight. and then worry and fear take hold and she gives the tiniest shake of her head, as if she's forbidding herself to entertain any kind of thought about rio. she looks away. the blood moon behind her spells disaster

meanwhile billy is that kid who has the time of his life hanging out with the teachers during a field trip

I want to personally thank aubrey plaza for every acting choice she made as rio, but ESPECIALLY for this witchy laugh

(I just brightened the salem seven witch vomiting bees and it's actually pretty impressive! but I don't want to trigger any insect haters around here) (I love insects though so please talk to me about spiders if you want)

they couldn't get a good look at the cabin before rushing in and I couldn't either until now, do we know if it's something from Agatha's past? did she use to live there?

I'm salty that alice had to die in these stupid clothes

So. I think this trial is the most fucked up and humiliating yet. Billy knew nothing about jen except superficial facts, so he put her in a scenario that matched her work aesthetic, more of a personal insult than a wake up call (compare it with the broom lilia just made for her: roots and flowers, something that speaks about jen's work, beliefs and traditions.)

Alice's trial was entirely based on lorna, we know billy is a big fan so he ran with that concept creating something that really shook alice, and not in a good way. she was forced to sit in her dead mom's house and wear her clothes for god's sake. she took it as the Road wanting to teach her a lesson, when it was just a teenager with the grace and subtlety of a newborn puppy.

Now, agatha. billy doesn't know a thing about her because she's private to the point of paranoia. he has gathered that there's something in her past about a dead child and that's probably what makes her grumpy, so he... tried to make her talk to nicky. with a fuking oujia board. Despite having had his share of shock and trauma billy inevitably has a kid's point of view re: death, and even more so because he's functionally immortal. death is something that happens to other people, or far far away in the future. he thinks he's giving agatha much needed therapy, when he actually put a grown woman in child's clothes and made her relive her traumas for everyone to see.

btw I'm not in any way saying that the trials are bad writing. they are brilliant writing. they're just tragic and fucked up behind the funny exterior, just like agatha herself. sorry for the rant.

I mean I wouldn't be opposed to that. we could put billy back in a closet for a little while and get down and dirty with it. and ooh there's a little leaf on rio's shirt, I hadn't noticed it!

jen's retainer always SENDS me

agatha's face when she realizes it's her trial

agatha is irrevocably, eternally linked with death in all its forms

looks like rio is playing along and setting the scene, but she's also doing something more subtle that only agatha understands: she's provoking her, and it's becoming more personal and hurtful. she's testing and punishing more than she used to. she is growing angrier.

agatha wants to tell rio to fuck off but knows she deserves it. agatha is NOT happy to be in this trial for reasons that go beyond what everyone present (except rio) assumes, but she'll bite the inside of her cheeks until they bleed before she shows any of it

the way he says it with a straight face too (again, NO PUN INTENDED. forgive me joe, I would never)

oh great alice has only thirty minutes to live

everyone looks worried and on their guard, rio has her whole knife out, playing along. agatha is STILL trying to look cool and casual, it's painful to watch. girl is panicking, hard

meanwhile billy is always bringing a whole different energy, he's playing and having fun! think back to the second episode when they met lilia and then jen and alice for the first time. billy had no clue about the tension, the fear and hate between them and agatha. right now he's still more excited than scared. he's about to have a rude awakening.

do not taunt the spirits, AGATHA.

lmaooo. this motherfucker.

another moment when billy sounds chillingly cruel. being jigsaw without realizing it

I'm not pointing it out every time but whenever agatha does this with her arms she's really, really really nervous

what does agatha do when she's scared or overwhelmed? she puts on a show. like clockwork. and rio has already guessed what's about to happen

I really want to continue this so there will be more later today, stay tuned!

go to episode 5 part 3

[letteredlettered]

Related to your last post: For me tumblr would work better as a community site if there was a function that would hide reblogs of the same posts. I get overwhelmed if I follow more than ten people in the same fandom because of the repeating posts. With work and everything else, I don't have the hours to find the original things people are saying. Reddit works better sometimes except the subreddits often have very surface level discussions with high amount of newcomers asking the same questions and the topics are quite limited. Maybe I should just try if there is life on Dreamwidth :P

This ask is a response to this post I made about feedback to fic and fandom community.

Anon, I agree 100% regarding the difficulties of tumblr for discussion that builds community. If you're following this discussion, than you may have already seen these follow-ups:

@eleadore added their thoughts about preserving reader spaces in a reblog here

@yiiiiiiiikes25 added thoughts similar to yours re tumblr's poor functionality as a community space here

@thehoneybeet added to the post that sparked my post here, about how to foster the kind of community we're all saying we want.

I'm linking these posts because I want to call attention to them; I think they're great. But I'm linking them in response to you specifically because yes there are multiple vectors to this problem--the web enshittification I described in my post, the splintering of fandom after the death of livejournal, and the difficulty of tumblr as a venue.

But it's that last, the difficulty of tumblr as a venue, that means that even like-minded people who want the community we're discussing can't really have it. Some went to, and are still on, dreamwidth. Frankly, I still find myself deeply irritated that fandom didn't move there, that it accepted AO3 and not DW. But I think a large factor in that particular exodus actually has to do with the fact that AO3 is closer to the direction the enshittified web went than DW ever could be. AO3 has a "like" button and is not built for deep, meaningful interaction. Again, this is because it was meant to be a limb of the fandom community, not replace community entirely. I'm not claiming that AO3 is enshittified but rather that it bears more similarity to current social media sites because it's only one part of a community that was at the time, thriving (yes, in spite of strikethrough and everything that was happening on LJ at the time).

In my opinion, tumblr straddles the divide between that old style of community website and the new one. Like livejournal and DW, you can view tumblr chronologically, without an algorithm feeding you content. You can remain anonymous, and everyone can see anything you post. But like other more modern social media sites, you can reblog and like, which you couldn't do on LJ and DW. The fact that tumblr is sort of both--and that it wasn't sold to the Russians and torn apart, like LJ--is why fandom fled here and why scattered pieces of it remain here, despite so many others moving on.

One thing I wanted to talk about in my original post, but couldn't find a place for, was how so much of the "community" aspects of fandom are now private. I think that's happened partly because tumblr isn't a great place to hold a conversation, so the conversation quickly gets moved elsewhere--but instead of somewhere where everyone is still welcome (ahem, like Dreamwidth), it gets moved to private spaces. Or the conversation never starts and exists only in the kinds of spaces meant for such things.

@thehoneybeet makes great points about this in the post I linked above. They mention "the invite-only server, the private ao3 challenge, groups and experiences that you need to be in-the-know about to even begin to participate in. that, essentially, require an invitation."

@eleadore mentions it at the beginning of their reblog (also linked above), saying, "i feel discussions of this nature have been severely crippled over the yrs, and people prefer to take to private group chats and such instead of engaging [...]" But they go on to mention "private discord book club servers."

To be clear, I'm 100% with @eleadore about the necessity for spaces for readers, and also 100% with them at the idea that there can be spaces authors don't have to touch. Writers don't "deserve" to hear every single thing anyone's ever said about their fic, positive or negative. Earlier this year I in fact made an impassioned post about the fact that I believe that bookmarks are for readers, not writers, and that making them a space purely for an author's comfort limits the functionality of bookmarks for readers, both in terms of finding fic but also in terms of finding friends.

So, yes, I agree that it's okay to have private discord book club servers. But the mention of discord did make me do a double-take, because in my opinion, discord is a huge part of what I perceive as the problem. You can't find a discord for your chosen fandom by searching discord. You have to have the link. Even if the discord isn't invite-only--which many of them are, you can usually only get the link by knowing someone.

There are all kinds of reasons for why discord is so private. Discords are run by mods, who feel responsible for what happens to people in spaces for which they are responsible. And mods who take a laissez-faire "everyone just do what they want" approach often have servers dominated by people who make the environment difficult, sometimes through racism, sometimes through bullying, sometimes by constantly bringing up traumatic or triggering content, sometimes just by making everything about them all the time. It's not like lj or even tumblr, where you can just unfollow. You're kind of stuck, unless you've got a mod who is policing vigorously, which is a huge job and impossible to do in ways that will make everyone happy. It's just easier if you don't have anyone and everyone wandering through.

I hate that. It makes me want to throw things. To me, fandom is about a space that's for anyone and everyone. You shouldn't have to know someone to get to have discussions about the thing you love. That's not why I'm here. In fact, in some ways I'm in fandom to get away from that kind of bullshit, so I don't have to construct some kind of social persona that is palatable enough to be accepted. I'm hear to talk about blorbos and read porn, maybe write a thing or two. A private discord book club made intentionally as a safe space for readers is a great use for discord. But discord as a place for fandom actually makes me feel a little ill.

I don't have a good suggestion of where fandom community should be built. To me, the best place is dreamwidth, and I think that after fifteen years, I really need to give up on the idea that enough people will move there (in this economy????) to really get the numbers you need to be able to find the people with whom you really click and connect. When tumblr tried to ban nudes, a lot of people talked up other possibilities--and some people went, to Mastadon, to pillowfort, even to twitter and IG. But those spaces all have their downsides, and none of them have the critical mass to be a real fandom home. As before, I have no conclusions about this. I just wanted to highlight some other aspects of this problem and describe some other food for thought.

[intothewoods98]

Thread with information about what really happened behind the scenes of Outer Banks!

Ok... I don't know how to start this post. Those who follow me here know that I post MY OPINIONS on various subjects and my last posts were about Outer Banks and the drama between Rudy Pankow and Madison Bailey.

It turns out that I ended up receiving a blind item in my direct messages here on Tumblr on November 9th, about what really happened behind the scenes of the show and I'm kind of shocked that things really seem true after Madelyn Cline unfollowed Rudy (and his girlfriend).

I'll try to summarize what this person said in topics, without exposing their name or anything like that because that wouldn't be fair to them.

🚫 Topic 1: Rudy P and Madison B were really involved during the filming of the first season of Outer Banks. They didn't make their relationship official, but they did have an affair, something more than friendship, but in the end it didn't go beyond that. The two decided it was best to remain friends and everything was fine.

🚫 Topic 2: Madison introduces a personal friend (Teo) to the OBX cast, and she and Rudy also start having an affair. Madison was totally okay with it, no problem. She was happy for Teo and Rudy, no bad blood, no bad feelings about it.

🚫 Topic 3: Rudy leaves Teo for Elaine. That's right, Rudy breaks up with Teo to be with Elaine, who was always chasing after him and the rest of the cast. Elaine worked behind the scenes on the first season of Outer Banks and felt like she was part of the main cast because she was similar in age to the actors. Little by little, she got closer to the girls first (Madison, Madelyn) and then focused her attention entirely on the guys, especially Drew and Rudy.

👉🏼 At this point, the person was unable to say whether Rudy had in fact cheated on Teo, but now we have confirmation from Teo that Rudy did indeed cheat on her and the relationship ended because he left her for Elaine.

🚫 Topic 4: Rudy officially starts dating Elaine and the rest of the Outer Banks cast was cool with it, although Madison did not agree with Rudy's betrayal, after all, it was Maddie who introduced the two and this created a slightly bad atmosphere because Madison sided with Teo, but continued to treat Elaine well.

Madison also starts a relationship and Mariah frequents the OBX filming set, soon becoming friends with the rest of the cast, except for Rudy.

👉🏼 The reason for the supposed “fight” between Mariah and Rudy was simply the fact that Rudy had no interest in getting close to Mariah, much less being her friend. Madison was a little upset about this, as she supported Rudy and Elaine's relationship despite what they did, and didn't feel that reciprocity from Rudy.

🚫 Topic 5: Rudy's behavior changes completely. He distances himself from everyone in the cast, especially Madison. He no longer wants to go to parties with his colleagues or participate in the cast's fun backstage.

Madison allegedly confronted Rudy and his response was the reason for their complete separation: Rudy says that Elaine doesn't want him and Madison to be friends anymore, because she's jealous of the affair they had in the past, and that Elaine asks him to spend more time with her than with his friends from Outer Banks.

Madison was reportedly VERY angry with this response and argued with Elaine in the backstage. Madison feels bad that Rudy threw away their friendship for such a stupid reason.

🚫 Topic 6: The rest of the Outer Banks cast supports Madison and condemns Rudy's change in behavior. The cast doesn't understand what's going on, why Rudy is no longer part of their personal lives. Everything gets worse when Rudy finds out that JJ and Kiara are getting together. He starts asking for changes to the script, pressuring the writers not to do this, and makes the cast, especially Madison, feel completely uncomfortable.

Elaine's victim-like behavior irritates everyone. She acts as if she were the victim of a situation that doesn't exist. She claims that the cast excluded her after she started dating Rudy, but she was the one who made Rudy distance himself from everyone. In addition, Elaine starts spreading gossip within the cast's circle of friends, even ending Madison's friendship with Hunter.

🚫 Topic 7: The final straw. The coexistence on set is unbearable. Little by little, Rudy has turned the recordings into a living hell. What used to be just pressure on the writers and directors to change the direction of his character, now Rudy refuses to record certain scenes, forcing last-minute changes and even delaying the recordings.

Rudy can't even look at Madison and the act of filming romantic scenes with her is unbearable for him and his girlfriend Elaine, who ends up having to be REMOVED from the set after a jealous fit behind the scenes. Rudy was reportedly very angry with Elaine's departure from the set and this was the deciding factor in him NOT RENEWING his contract.

🚫 Topic 8: The actors are angry. When filming for the fourth season begins, they don't know that Rudy has asked to leave the series. The news explodes like a bomb during the cast's trip to Morocco, where they find out about the change in the script and JJ's death. All the actors (ALL) feel betrayed by Rudy, because he is throwing years of work in the trash. The actors know that this would harm the series and how negative this news would be for the fans.

If the mood on the set was bad before, it got even worse after this. Rudy doesn't explain himself to his coworkers and this makes everyone exclude him.

They no longer try to talk to Rudy, much less get close to him and his girlfriend. Rudy uses stunt doubles to film scenes with Madison, which makes Maddie and the cast even angrier. They condemn Rudy's lack of professionalism.

After absorbing the impact of the news, everyone on the cast and crew of Outer Banks understands that this was the best thing for them.

Rudy (and his girlfriend) turned the set into a toxic and horrible environment to work in, and now they understand that his departure is a huge relief for everyone, especially Madison, who even had severe anxiety attacks after the fights that happened behind the scenes.

Rudy is NOT friends with the rest of the cast anymore. He stopped being friends a long time ago. It was only a matter of time before they all told the fans this, so Madelyn unfollowing Rudy is no surprise. Everyone is angry with his and his girlfriend's actions.

I received this information on November 9th, a long time before Teo exposed Rudy on TikTok and much less before Madelyn unfollowed Rudy.

👉🏼 I don't know if this is true information, but everything described above fits with what happened in the last few days, so you can draw your own conclusions.

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

mouthwashing responsibility au rambles below cut 🫡

(spoiler warning for the actual game obviously)

- even though jimmy got deservedly knocked out by anya and thrown into the cryopod early on, the crash still does happen. it's a freak accident this time, like maybe a piece of space debris just happened to hurtle right into them without time to dodge. it's like the tulpar is destined to crash. but this time it's a story about a group of people finding hope and strength in each other and finding what they themselves can be capable of in a time of crisis. btw i just mean curly, anya, swansea, and daisuke. i am NOT repenting jimmy. he ain't "fixing" shit.

- i'm sorry for frying curly again even though this is supposed to be an au with a happier ending 😭 the way his loss of autonomy reflects anya's own loss of it, making him feel firsthand the suffering she went through in a way, felt too important to just remove. curly's injuries aren't as terrible as in the original timeline since swansea rescued him earlier. and by "not as terrible" i mean he only loses a leg and not all of his limbs. he will get some function in his hands eventually and anya teaches him sign language to help him communicate (she teaches the others too).

- speaking of anya, she really shows her stuff as a nurse (even in the original timeline she does, managing to keep curly alive like that). she treats curly and swansea and is much more of a pillar of strength for the crew than she herself realizes. pre-crash and post-jimmy-getting-fired, she was able to relax and open up more with everyone, building a stronger bond. when the crash happens, anya is of course terrified and hella stressed, but now she knows she has people who have her back, and it helps. she can be more confident in herself without a certain someone being there to belittle and hurt her. this time when she has to deal with something difficult, something traumatizing, she has people to support her. in this au, she is not pregnant because if she was, i don't see how keeping the baby would be a good thing for her. and i don't want her to have to deal with that situation without the proper medical supplies on top of everything else. she's been through enough.

- btw there is no shipping in this au. i personally really don't see how it could happen between anyone on the crew. if there was some sort of spark between anya and curly, it's definitely gone now and won't happen again. the most they'll be are friends (although the friendship/trust will have to be built from the ground up again after everything that's happened with jimmy). the only ship here is the tulpar.

- i know daisuke is seen as a "dumb kid" but i really don't think that's the case. we are seeing him thru jimmy's perspective mostly after all and jimmy is the definition of an unreliable narrator. i headcanon daisuke as having adhd like me who tends to lose focus on tasks easily because your brain is just going 102929 miles a minute and wandering to all sorts of places like me. he feels like someone who doesn't exactly know where they want to go in life like me. also he's definitely a hawaii kid born and raised and talks pidgin sometimes like me except i lost the pidgin :(. i'm totally not projecting my asian ass on the asian boy or anything. BUT ANYWAY i wanted to give daisuke more stuff to do and a chance to prove to himself that he can do these things, he can step up. so that's partially why i made swansea burn his hands rescuing curly. daisuke can now be filled with Determination and be swansea's hands in repairing things as he heals. it's going to be hard and it's going to be frustrating for both parties and sometimes they'll get upset at each other. but it will inevitably be a great bonding experience for the two. i cannot resist the call for more father-son moments.

- swansea my beloved. i am so sorry for burning your beautiful hands please forgive 😔🙏 i have to make my faves suffer a little. swansea's hands will heal up eventually and he'll be able to use them again, but there will be scars. i think him having to guide daisuke with doing repairs n stuff on the ship as his hands recover gives him a mission. something to distract him from completely falling into despair and alcoholism. that man is hanging on by a thread but by god he's going to help get these kids through this. they've all grown closer since jimmy was sacked and swansea feels a sort of responsibility towards protecting anya, daisuke and curly as the oldest one there. it's the dad instincts y'know? on the real hard days, sometimes swansea thinks about cracking open a bottle of mouthwash, but he holds back because he feels he needs to stay strong for the crew. however he does have to learn that he can't shoulder everything and that he can rely on others. him having no choice but to have daisuke take over his tasks is a good way for him to learn that, i think. swansea is definitely a pillar of strength in this and the rest of the crew have a lot of affection for him (and vice versa even if swansea won't admit it). can you tell i really like swansea. he is such a foil to jimmy—a guy who has fucked up a lot in his life but actually acknowledges his mistakes and is trying his hardest to be a better person. aghh swansea i love you 💛💛

- after the crash happens, the cryopod room becomes inaccessible, so nobody is able to check on the state of jimmy in there. so they don't see that the crypod he's in eventually fails from damage and he escapes. this happens a couple weeks into the crash. jimmy is still pissed about everything and still can't see how he's done anything wrong (this is because he is a delusional asshole). in fact, he feels like he's the one who's been wronged and betrayed by everyone on the crew and he wants revenge. there will be a final confrontation between jimmy and the crew. spoilers: jimmy loses. i'm just undecided on who finishes it. it would be fitting if anya shot him, but i'm not sure that's something she'd necessarily want to do. she chose to be in the medical field after all. don't get me wrong, i think she would pull the trigger if it meant protecting the others. but i'd hate to have her kill, because even if jimmy deserves it, anya is a healer and would still probably feel guilty about it. i don't want to put even more shit on her plate. so i think swansea is the one to put jimmy down in the end. with the axe of course. i think he'd feel less guilty about doing it because it's something he's wanted to do since anya first told him about jimmy. oooh what if jimmy gets his hands on the gun, but daisuke tackles him, making him drop it, and anya gets it and shoots jimmy in the shoulder or leg or something to get him off of daisuke, and then swansea comes in with the axe to finish him off. that could be fun. that way anya won't have to actually kill but she'll still get to shoot jimmy. bless.

- the crew gets rescued eventually, but it's going to be a few months because pony express is a nightmare company. i'm honestly still not sure if pony express is even the one who will rescue them or even bother to look. i'm tempted to just have another ship happen across them by some miracle and help. real tempted to make that ship The Unreliable and turn this into a Mouthwashing x The Outer Worlds crossover quite honestly since both settings share similarities (megacorporations, cryosleep, etc). but idk. it's not like i can just write a fanfic or anything since writing is harder for me and who knows how long it will be before i even draw the idea. it's just yet another self-indulgent daydream for now.

[district4loading]

"I Love You"

Twice Sana x Male Reader

4k words

Content Warning: smut, fluff, praise, oral, passion, lots of “i love you”

Minors DNI

A/N: Hey guys!! Had a hard time figuring out the title for this one lmao, don't judge too much. Also, Super grateful for the notes and support on my first fic so here's some fluffy lovey dovey sana x reader smut to contrast from the rough sex from the last fic. Enjoy!!!

-

"You already work so hard.. let me do the rest"

-

It was twelve in the morning when Sana finally got back home. Like always, she opened the door slowly and carefully with consideration for you who had been working all day. She assumed you were already in bed and she didn't want to wake you. So she stepped in and locked the door back before taking light steps to your shared bedroom.

Since it was dark she couldn't really see anything nor was she really paying attention to anything except her routine before bed. She wanted to take off her make up, take a shower then slip into bed with you holding her. That's it. She put her purse down on the dresser and took off her coat, hanging it in the walk in closet. She was careful not to make too much noise with the hangars.

Then Sana went into the bathroom, wincing as she turned the bright light on. She then tweaked the light as dim as it could go, hoping that it wasn't disturbing you much. When she got to the sink, she looked into the mirror, maybe taking a few photos because why not? Then she put her phone in her pocket and went into the cabinet to grab some wipes. She had to kneel down until the mirror was no longer in her view to grab the things she needed.

When Sana stood back up, she still wasn't too focused on the mirror with her head down as she tried to open the package of wipes. That is, until she noticed an unusual dark figure in her peripheral. Out of pure instinct, Sana's body jerked in fear, a cute scream escaping her lips at the same time. She turned around to see you just standing there with an amused look on your face. "Babe! You scared me, I thought you were sleeping" She tapped your arm.

"I only wanted to surprise you I didn't know you'd get scared" You leaned down and puckered your lips. Sana tilted her head back without any hesitation, a smile already appearing on her lips as she allowed them to connect with yours. It was a short, sweet peck, nothing too much. "You look incredible" You noticed, looking into her eyes which were a different bluish color because of the contacts she had in. Although you definitely loved Sana whichever way she was, you could never deny the butterflies in your belly whenever you saw her with makeup on.

"Thank you baby" Sana smiled before turning back around to pick up a wet wipe. You slid your arms around her waist and bent over to put your chin on her shoulder.

"How did things go? You know with the recording and whatnot" You asked as if you knew the logistics of anything that she was doing. You only knew the gist of things from what she's told you before.

Sana sighed, putting down the wipe before she grabbed a hair tie from the small drawer in the counter. "Things went really well this time, we finished up on time" She smiled, then passed the hair tie to you "Can you do it for me?" She asked. You nodded your head, stepping back before tying her hair back in a messy bun.

Then you reassumed your position behind her, wrapping your arms around her waist. You took a deep breath, taking in her natural scent mixed with her perfume. "You smell amazing..." You buried your head into her neck. Then you began to leave kisses there "You work so hard.." You mumbled against her skin, then your hands slipped under her top.

"Babe.." Sana whined in protest while ironically moving her head to give you more access, you hummed in response. "I have to take my makeup off" She complained weakly.

"No you don't, do it later" You whispered, making eye contact with Sana through the mirror. She looked so beautiful, the type of woman that could set your entire body on fire with just a glance. A smirk began to form on her lips as you squeezed her waist with your hands. Then you turned her body around so now she was facing you. "Have I told you how incredible you look?" You questioned the brunette.

Sana nodded her head "Yeah but I don't mind you saying it more" She licked her lips, a sheepish smile on her face as she looked up at you. You leaned down and connected your lips once more, leaving a sweet kiss on hers "Your lips taste..."

"Like lip gloss?" Sana smiled cleverly, trying to finish off your sentence for you.

You shook your head "mm-mm... delicious" You corrected her, removing your hands from her waist for a moment. You reached behind her head to take the hair tie out, letting her long brown locks fall over her shoulders and down her back. "You know I've always preferred you with your hair down" You smiled, acknowledging the little baby hairs that rested on her hairline.

The brunette squealed, startled by the sudden movement you made of lifting her by her waist to sit her on the bathroom counter. Sana giggled cutely afterwards, not even being able to say anything before you connected your lips again. This time it was more than just a short sweet kiss. The two of you were making out. Your hands never leaving her waist, her arms wrapped around your neck, your bodies as close as the position would allow you. Your lips moved in unison with each other, exploring the familiar and comforting confines of each other's mouths.

Soon, you began to deviate from Sana's mouth, kissing the corner, then her cheek, then along her perfect jawline all the way to her neck. She closed her eyes, biting her lip to stifle her moans as you began to lick and suck the exposed skin. Of course, she didn't have to tell you not to leave marks because she trusted that you knew better. But either way you still made it feel amazing, even if you couldn't be as harsh as you wanted.

Hearing Sana's breathing become more audible and feeling her chest heaving against yours, you could tell she was getting turned on. Just to be sure this was going where you wanted it to, you pulled away and looked into her eyes. You were searching for tiredness, acknowledging that she had just finished working and she could be too tired for all of this. But in your search, all you found was lust and need... the type of need that said that she'd been longing for this.

You took a moment to admire her entire face. It was a bright shade of pink, her lips parted, lipgloss smudged, looking up at you with those pleading eyes with her eyebrows curved upwards. Sana wrapped her legs around your waist tightly, forcing your bodies to come together and Instead of feeling stirring in your belly, this time the feeling was emerging in your pants. You reached your hand up and put a hand on her cheek then you moved your thumb, pressing it against her plump lips.

Without any words, she opened up for you, keeping eye contact as she took the digit into her mouth all slow and seductive. She wrapped her lips around the knuckle, then you felt her tongue swirl as she opened her mouth wide for you to see the show. Before she could get done, you pulled your thumb out of her mouth and put your hands back on her waist as you prepared to lift her, bending your knees for a second as you took her into your arms you heard her whine a bit. "I was hoping you'd fuck me on the counter" She said in that sexy pouty voice she knew you loved.

"mm-mm" You shook your head slightly as you walked the short distance out of the bathroom and into your bedroom to put her on the bed gently, climbing on top of her. "I'm not going to 'fuck' you, i'm going to make love to you" You whispered into her ear. Sana immediately got chills, whimpering as you kissed her neck a few more times. You pulled away and looked into her eyes again "I love you" You whispered.

"I love you too" Sana put her hands on your cheeks, completely cupping your face. You leaned down and kissed her lips a few times then pulled away again. Sana slid her hands to the back of your neck, interlocking her fingers before she whispered "Make love to me." It was more of a plea with the tone she said it in, her legs wrapped loosely around your waist.

No other words were needed from that point, you leaned upwards and pulled your T-shirt off. Then you tugged at the hem of her black top. Sana lifted herself off the bed, using only her core strength so you could pull the clothing over her head. Then you reached around her back to unlatch her bra, you did it in the first try and it became undone. You slipped them off of her arms and allowed her upper body to fall back on the bed again.

You then connected your lips, moving your mouth passionately and slowly against hers for a bit. Then you pulled away and grabbed the waistband of her sweatpants. Sana raised her hips and you pulled them off swiftly. You withdrew from her completely, standing up so you could pull down your pants as well. Then you got back onto the bed and between her legs where you belonged. "When was the last time we did this?" You breathed in, feeling the electricity between the both of you as you realized it's been long since you two had been intimate like this. It was mainly because of Sana's schedule but you didn't mind it too much.

"I'm sorry" She apologized, a guilty look on her face as she stared into your loving eyes.

"No No..." You kissed her lips once, then twice for good measure "It's your job, I completely understand. It's just been long, so I wanna savour the moment" You kissed her a third time, seeing a dark smile appear on her face when you pulled away. You leaned upwards, pulling her panties off without needing much help. Then you went back down, kissing Sana's neck again. This time she didn't try to stifle her moans, she just let every cute whine and whimper out, setting off fireworks inside of your body.

You kissed down to her collarbone, then her chest where you took her left nipple into your mouth first. You swirled your tongue around the bud, wetting it and sucking gently as you began to hear needy moans coming from the singer. Then you switched to her right nipple, doing the exact same thing until they were both hard. You leaned upwards, kneeling as you gently put your hands on either of her breasts. You squeezed softly, jiggling them and watching how they moved as if they were weightless.

Sana watched your every move silently, lips parted as she enjoyed the sight and feeling of you exploring her body. You tweaked the stiff nubs between your fingers, eliciting a high pitched squeal from the brunette. Then you leaned back down, continuing to kiss down her body. From her toned abdomen all the way to her inner thighs. You laid on your stomach as you positioned your head between her legs.

Propping herself up on her forearms, Sana was able to watch you. It was then you noticed that arousal coated her entire core. Your eyes darted up to meet hers "You're so wet" You announced redundantly, knowing that she of all people would know that information. You stuck your tongue out, maintaining eye contact as you made one long lick from her entrance all the way to her clit.

"Oh!" Sana gasped, biting her lip as she felt your warm, thick tongue come into contact with her flesh. The first taste of her slippery, salty sweetness was dizzying and so you licked more, trying to lap up as much of her arousal as you could. There was so much of it and somehow, that made you even more secure in your relationship. Just knowing that you could still have this effect on her, even after weeks with no sex, even after years of being together.

She let out cute moans, letting you know that you were doing well as you cleaned her up. You hadn't even really started yet and you noticed her hips moving upwards to meet your mouth. That's when you figured you'd actually begin. You specifically targeted her clit, swirling your tongue around the bundle of nerves. You knew it got her when she threw her head back and allowed her body to fall back onto the bed. Her hips raised again and Sana was grinding into your tongue.

You hummed, knowing she loved the vibrations that came with it which always drove her crazy. Sana was gripping the sheets, trying to cope with the pleasure as you kept moving your tongue. You never got tired and you always swore you could spend a lifetime between Sana's legs, just eating her out because she made for the best meal. "Baby..! Oh - Fuck, please don't stop" Sana begged, not knowing that you'd never even think of stopping until she was satisfied.

Sana's breathing became heavy and fast, her body quaking as she squirmed on your tongue. You knew exactly what to do at this point. You brought your fingers up, prodding her entrance with the two digits. Immediately you saw Sana raise her head, her eyes pleading for you to take her. So that's what you did. You slid both inside, a filthy squelching noise and a scream-like moan following it. After curling your fingers you began to pump them in and out, hearing beautiful loud moans coming from your girlfriend.

You always thought she was a great singer but that could never compare to the way she sounded when she was moaning. "Y/n.. please" She begged, not really knowing what for because she knew she could let go whenever she felt like it. "God i'm right fucking there" She warned you as you pressed your fingers up against her g-spot.

Humming "mm-hm" in response to her warning seemed to do the trick as you witnessed her go over the edge right then and there. Her legs began to tremble, back arching as you pumped your fingers in and out with the same rhythm, still swirling your tongue on her clit.

"I'm cumming" She squealed right before you began to feel her leaking all over your fingers, wetness spilling out of her cunt as you slid your fingers out. Sana's body was glowing red and covered in sweat at this point, her face was no different. With strands of her brown hair were stuck to her face she looked so beautiful.

You crawled up her body, beginning to feel an ache in your crotch as you kissed her lips once more. "I love you" You whispered, digging your hand into your boxers to pull your cock out. It was throbbing at this point, aching to be taken care of.

"I love you too" Sana mumbled against your skin "mmh- let me.." She said, trying to reach it after you pulled away to take your boxers off fully. Once they were off you took it into your hand.

"Lay back" You said it so softly, leaning over her with almost all of your weight. "You already work so hard.. let me do the rest" You muttered in that same tone. One that made Sana's face flush even redder.

She didn't say another word, just allowed you to continue. You took your cock into your hand then guided the tip to her entrance. Looking into her eyes once more to make sure, you could see that she was anticipating it. You slid in slowly and unusually, Sana didn't close her eyes. She winced a little, her eyes squinted some and her eyebrows turned upwards but she kept her eyes trained on you. The entire time.

You did the same of course, staring into her beautiful needy eyes as you handled her body with the utmost care. Once you made it to the hilt, you stayed there for a moment and allowed yourself to feel the tight and warm hug her pussy offered to you. She felt amazing, you took a breath before leaning down to kiss her lips again.

Then you came back up, keeping your balance as you grabbed both of sana's wrists and put them against the bed over her head. You held them together with both of your hands and then you began to move, pulling your hips back and gently sliding back inside. Sana's lips parted, letting out soft, pleasureful moans and so you began to roll your hips forwards and backwards in a rhythm.

Sana ended up breaking eye contact, her head turning to the side as she shut her eyes. Her face was sort of scrunched up as she continued to moan, beautiful noises that filled your ears. It didn't help that you could also hear the obscene squelching noises that came with each roll of your hips. It was all so dizzying, the pleasure, her reactions and the sounds she made.

"I need you closer" Sana murmured, her tone whiny and pleading. You let go of her wrists, letting your body lay on top of hers without stopping your thrusts. Your head fell into the crook of her neck, and Sana immediately wrapped her arms around you, her legs also tightening around your waist. "Thank you" she moaned it into your ear.

It was better like this, your bodies pressed together. Her mouth by your ear so you could clearly hear every little noise that escaped her lips. Your lips on her neck where you could kiss and suck on the flesh at your own free will. Sana's legs around your waist, which didn't make much room for flexibility in your movements but you didn't mind. Everything was enough and Sana was more than enough for you.

You closed your eyes, feeling the pleasure begin to overcome your entire body. Low groans bubbled in your throat as you became hotter and hotter. You began to hear Sana's moans get louder, more needy. If that didn't give it away then the clenching you felt inside definitely did. She was close, oh so close. It was hard to handle feeling your body humping into hers at such a slow and sensual pace. Feeling the vibrations of you groaning against her neck, having you so close... it was too much.

Taking this as a sign, you leaned up a bit, just so you could look into her eyes for this moment. You sped up your movements a bit and now there was a soft clapping sound that could be heard with each of your thrusts. "B-baby i'm-"

"Shh" You whispered, pinning her hands to the bed and interlocking her fingers with yours. You felt her squeeze back "Don't close your eyes" You asked softly watching as she struggled a bit to keep them open. Her body had been moving up and down gently from the force of your movements. She looked up into your eyes, a look of pure love and concentration on your face as you tried not to let go. You were also close but you wanted to let her cum first. "I love you" You whispered, leaving a short and sweet kiss on her lips.

Sana moaned a little bit louder, her legs squeezing your hips and her hands squeezing yours. "I love you" She responded right before her body began to tremble. Sana tried to keep her eyes open, she really did. But the second she froze and then her orgasm hit her, there was no hope. Yes her eyes were open, but her pupils seemed to roll into the back of her head so she couldn't see a thing. She also couldn't control it at all when her eyelids inevitably did slam shut. Gasping and shaking she finally came down from the orgasm, it was no doubt one of the best of her life.

She sighed, a small giggle escaping her lips right before she opened her eyes, looking at you with all the love in the world. "Thank you" She whispered and you just leaned down and kissed her, stopping your movements so you could focus on the kiss. It was so pure, so filled with love, so comfortable. You could've spent hours kissing her in that exact way, your tongues intertwining, your breaths synced up. It was all so intimate.

You pulled away and looked into her eyes for a moment. She slipped her hands out of your loosened grip and put them on either side of your face. She was cupping your cheeks now "You're so beautiful" You whispered, beginning to move your hips again. This time you were going at your own pace, the only one that felt right in the moment. You kept it slow as you admired her face. This was a woman you needed to take your time with, appreciate and shower with affection. "You feel so amazing" You sighed.

Sana had a smile on her face, one that spoke a million words. It told you just how much she loved you, the look in her eyes filled with adoration. Her legs tightened around your hips she could feel the way your cock twitched inside of her walls. You didn't fully notice it at the moment but just a few more strokes and you would climax. You didn't want this to end, it was too soon. But she just finished work, this didn't have to be any longer than it needed to be.

So you kept looking into her eyes "Sana..." You whispered "I'm going to"

Sana nodded her head eagerly, that same smile on her face. She looked so damn pretty. "Inside baby" She stated, still cupping your cheeks in her hands. You nodded, getting a final three strokes in before you finally erupted. Spewing thick globs of white into her hot entrance, she began subtly rubbing your cheeks as you orgasmed. You grunted and groaned with each hot spurt that came out having to close your eyes much like she did.

Soon you stopped and allowed your body to fall on top of hers. "I love you" You whispered, swallowing thickly as you caught your breath.

Sana caressed the back of your head, running her fingers through your short hair "I love you more than you could ever know"

[mephistopheleswasrobbed]

GMMTV 2025 Riding the Wave first thoughts

We have 15 or 16 BLs, 2 GLs, one mixed het and BL and 1!!! het series. GMMTV really said we don't give a shit about straight people anymore and I'm so here for it.

Dare You to Death: Messy teen slasher meets murder mystery BL. Feels a little bit like two stories mushed together in the pilot trailer but very interesting concept. I'm quite neutral about JoongDunk but the story looks fun. Will almost certainly be watching.

Head 2 Head: Bad Buddy with fashion design students who are also car racers and one of them has visions of the future? There's a lot happening but tbh none of it really caught my attention. Haven't seen SkyKeen before and JavaSurf are new so I have zero opinions on them. I'll wait for the official trailer to make a decision about this one.

Burnout Syndrome: Love triangle kinda but make it serious. Directed by Nuchy, looks a bit darker and mature. OffGun + Dew as second lead looks intriguing especially because there seemed to be more romance shown between Dew and Gun than Off and Gun. This will probably be good. Not necessarily hyped but will definitely watch.

I Love "A Lot Of" You: The only exclusive BG show in this lineup about a guy trying to make all 5 personalities of a girl fall in love with him. Nanon and Mind of 4Eve. Looks very good actually. But it's a straight romance and so far I haven't seen anything that would make me watch anyway. Will probably not watch.

Whale Store xoxo: Down on her luck grocery store owner meets manic pixie dream girl errand girl. Happy for MilkLove to have graduated from school, MewnichJune with history looks promising. Not necessarily hyped but will definitely watch.

Only Friends: Dream On: Season 2 of Only Friends, this time centered around a theatre production. EarthMix as exes, JossGawin and OhmLeng. This is all I ever wanted. I'm so here for this. I would watch anything with EarthMix without hesitation but this has me extremely hyped. Will definitely watch.

That Summer: Troublemaker meets amnesiac prince in seaside setting. Neutral about WinnySatang, looking forward to NeoMint, hyped about MondRyu. Looks good but doesn't really catch me. Will probably be watching for Mond in a BL role finally.

My Romance Scammer: Two rich boys marrying scammers. They are making full use of marriage equality already. JuniorMark look good, Gmmtv went for OhmFluke and it's hilarious, they also look good. Looks like fun. Will almost certainly be watching.

Melody of Secrets: Mystery with murders and unreliable memories. Gives Hannibal vibes a little. (Which doesn't really work in its favour because Hannibal is on another level) Not a ForceBook fan but the plot seems interesting. Will wait for official trailer but probably watch for the fandom speculation.

Love You Teacher: Elementary school teacher who hates kids has to care for his amnesiac, age-regressed partner. Directed by Dome. Looks very fun. PearthSanta look good. They're gonna have to walk a fine line here with the whole age regression thing but I trust in Dome. Will be watching.

MU-TE-LUV: 7 Stories centered around Thai supersticious activity. Too many people in this for me to list. Will wait to see how much the stories are intertwined or if they're all separate from each other. Looks like fun. Definitely seated for the Fluke, Lego, Yacht, Neo story, the two BL stories didn't really catch my attention, some of the straight ones seemed more interesting. Will wait for official trailer for anything except the FLYN part which I'm super excited for.

Cat for Cash: Debt collector can understand cats, helps new owner to manage cat cafe. Family drama happens. I like FirstKhao but tbh the trailer bored me a little. (Pls don't kill me FK stans). Will wait for official trailer, might binge after it's done.

Girl Rules: Jojo directing basically Only Friends lesbian edition. Although mostly MilkLove and NamtanFilm seem to be mixed up, ViewMim seem to be doing their own thing. Gmmtv turning up the heat on the GL side. This looks very fun, I'm here for it. Will watch.

Boys in Love: Three high school couples and some gay teachers to round it out. Don't know any of these kids and tbh didn't even realise until the end that there were three couples. Looks like a nice high school BL, but I'm probably too old for this. Will probably watch for Podd and Papang.

My Magic Prophecy: Doctor x fortune teller with some mystery and escaping to the country side. JimmySea romance storyline didn't really catch me but the mystery plot seems interesting. 2 seconds of TeeFranc look intriguing. Will wait for official trailer but will probably watch for the mystery.

A Dog and a Plane: Scruffy first responder x prim flight attendant who's getting cheated on by his pilot boyfriend. This looks extremely fun. TayNew and MarcPoom has me seated. Jojo directing again. Second most hyped show for me. Will definitely watch.

Me and Thee: Teaching an out of touch mafia boss how to court someone. Looks like a lot of fun. PondPhuwin seem to alternate between uni and mafia, good for them. Directed by X. Will almost definitely be watching.

Wu: Probably BL but could also be bromance, the Pilot wasn't definitive but from the discussion afterwards I'm leaning towards BL. Either way, down on his luck athlete fated to protect supernatural fortune teller kinda guy. This story seems to be in its early developement stage still but SkyNani/NaniSky has my full attention and what we've seen of the concept so far looks very promising. Looking forward to this. Will be watching.

Memoir of Rati: Period BL, translator of French diplomats falls in love with some sort of nobleman. IFYLITA vibes. GreatInn are a perfect fit for a period BL. AouBoom look promising as well. Personally not a big period drama enjoyer but this looks very good. Will almost definitely be watching.

Ticket to Heaven: Return of Aof, based on real events, slight period + heavy christianity. Aof is angling for his next award with this one. Looks very good, more queer cinema than BL. Not the biggest fan of GeminiFourth but they're talented and this will be really good probably. Have to watch it for my ultimate bias Aof, anyway. Will be watching.

Overall thoughts: 16 out of 20 BL is crazy, so much for the fear that Gmmtv will switch to focus on bromance. Would have liked some more GL but what we're getting looks good. In general this lineup has me very excited. There's not a single pilot that made me instantly say "Nope" this time. Even the one single straight show which I'll probably skip, looks very good. We're getting a good variety of genres and moods as well. Also not a single remake afaict.

The new BL trend for 2025 seems to be superstition and mystery. I'm very happy with that.

All shows in order of my hypedness:

Extremely hyped:

Only Friends: Dream On

A Dog and a Plane

Excited:

Girl Rules

Wu

Me and Thee

Love You Teacher

Not really excited but looking forward to because it will most likely be good:

Burnout Syndrome

Ticket to Heaven

Memoir of Roti

This will be fun:

Dare You to Death

MU-TE-LUV (this is an average, only FLYN would be a lot higher, the rest without them would be lower)

My Romance Scammer

Whale Store xoxo

That Summer

Looks interesting enough:

Boys in Love

Melody of Secrets

My Magic Prophecy

Cat for Cash

Head 2 Head

I'm happy for the het show enjoyers because this looks really good but I don't really care:

I Love "A Lot Of" You

[smiley-mcdoggington]

DONT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS I'M SPEED RUNNING THIS BEFORE I PASS TF OUT TW COERSION I GUESS??? TW STANCEST TW SMIDGE OF IMPLIED/REFERENCED SA TW A/B/O DYNAMICS

Ford's long fingers curled tightly into the blankets as he tried to swaddle himself even smaller. He almost threw the blanket when it didnt bring the relief he wanted.

Ford had read about the omegan estrous cycle - he had to, when he turned fifteen and it became clear Stanley was growing broader but he was not. He knew if he was just held by familiar people it would calm the knashing pain in his stomach and the pulsing in his head.

But instead he was alone, because Ma had locked the door and told him not to let anyone in except her. It was day three, the most optimistic estimate was he still had another two full days of trying to figure out how to hold himself the way someone else would hold him - touch himself the way someone else would touch him.

Then there were three quick knocks before the door was shoved open. Ma looked pale. "You and Stanley stay in here until you don't see your Pa's car on the road, capiche? Don't open this door for anything until then, there's money on the counter, leftovers in the fridge, Stanford you call my sister when it's safe, I love you both, goodbye." She said in a whirlwind that barely made it through Ford's cloudy thoughts. Then Stanley was shoved in the room and the door was slammed behind him.

Ford stared at Stanley for a second with wide eyes. Ma hadn't allowed him in their room since Ford had presented, acting cagey whenever he asked before eventually just saying that Stanley looked like an alpha and alphas couldn't control themselves. That was why Pa wasn't allowed in. Ford knew it was factually incorrect - alphas were capable of resisting urges, they simply chose not to in many cases. Part of him wondered if Stanley would be so forceful once he presented. He certainly had the build for it.

Then a wimper drew Ford's gaze away from his indimidating form and up to his face. His face was a deep pink, tears rolling down his cheeks and trembling where he stood.

Then the scent cut through his own. Oh.

Stanley had presented.

Ford slowly drew away from his blankets - the open air was suffocating, but Stanley could help that - Stanley was just another omega, he could help, wrap those big arms around him, press that heavy weight into his ribs until he didn't have to feel anything anymore.

"Stanley. Why are you crying?" His voice dragged as he got closer - he was only wearing his boxers, he couldn't find it in him to care.

"I wa-was s'posed to be - be an alpha. That-That's what Ma said." He babbled. "How can I prote-ct us if I'm an omega?" He whimpered, digging his heels into his eyes. "I'm sor-ry." He hiccuped.

Ford felt a rush of something wash over him. In the next second he had Stan's face in his hands - so warm, he fit perfectly between 12 fingers. "You're still a great boxer, Stanley. But now - now you can help me. Don't you want that?" Stanley looked up at him with those big brown eyes, hopeful. It made Ford's stomach roll in a new way.

"H-How?" Stanley asked, laying his own smaller hands over Ford's with such ease, as if the contact Ford had needed was just so easy to give.

Ford pulled Stanley closer. "Physical contact. Familial omegan contact can bring smaller amounts of the endorphins released during copulation. You want it too, don't you?" Stanley nodded quickly. "The come here." He purred, and Stanley curled around him in a tight hug. Stanford shivered, clinging back to his twin. For a moment, they stood there, similar scents intertwining, both making small pleased huffs as they gripped eachother tighter.

But like an addiction, he started itching for more. "Stanley." He muttered into his brother's ear. "We should go back to the bed. I tried building a nest it--" Stan's nose touched the gland on his neck and he made a quiet keening noise. "--it isn't great, but omegan behavioral studies were very vague with how they're made."

Stan hummed. "Nest. Yeah. That - that sounds so good." He said, before picking Ford up. Ford took the chance to wrap his legs around him. When Stan finally pressed him into the mattress Ford whined loudly, a purr still filled with the cracklings of puberty rumbling in his chest. Stan shoved his face into Ford's whispy chest hairs, whining right back at him.

"You're - You're right, your nest is crap." Stanley teased breathlessly. Ford jabbed him in the back with the sole of his foot and Stanley giggled, eyes still red-rimmed but smiling, now. Ford couldn't help smiling back.

"Fix it then." Ford replied, and Stan pulled away very slightly before dropping back down.

"Nah." Stan said simply, clinging to Ford.

The cramps were still there - but with Stanley they were barely a nuiscence. Just a low presence to match the feeling of his wet boxers.

Then he noticed Stan's slight shifting.

He still looked completely distracted, blissed-out and clinging to Ford like a piece of driftwood in the ocean. But lower down his hips were twitching into the mattress just a little. Ford traced the tiny erratic rolling of Stan's hips in a trance. Did Stanley even notice?

Then Stanley made a little groaning, huffing noise and Ford's own hips twitched. Except any movement on his own part resulted in directly jutting into his brother's stomach.

Stanley's eyes snapped open. He looked up at Ford slowly. Before he could say a word Ford had pushed up his glasses. "it's perfectly normal to have the same physical symptoms of arousal during an estrous cycle, Stanley." He said almost defensively, but Stanley's relief seemed to be directed inward. He rolled his hips more brazenly against the mattress.

Then Stan's whole body froze, and he started pulling away. Ford tried to follow him, but Stanley looked close to crying again. "Whats the matter? I promise it's normal, Stanley - what's wrong?"

"I gotta go." Stan said stiffly.

"You can't go, Stanley - Pa isn't gone yet." He said, sitting up and reaching for him.

"I don't care about Pa, I'll just punch him again if I gotta." His voice wavered with a little bit of fear.

Ford stood again. "Don't be ridiculous Stanley - why do you have to leave?"

Stan looked away.

"Stanley."

"I think I peed myself."

Ford stared at him. Then down at his perfectly dry jeans. Then he snorted.

Stan's face twisted angrily, though his eyes were glassy again. "Shut up."

"You didn't pee yourself, Stanley - did you even read the omegan biology book I lent you? Or were you too busy drawing Lil' Stanley in the margins?" Stan shrank in on himself a little. Ford sighed fondly. "Here - it's happening to me, too, it's just discharge." He wiped some from his inner thigh onto his finger for Stan to see. "The pH is within the acidic range, though, so you should probably get out of your good jeans before you bleach them." He said, and Stan just kept staring at his two damp fingers.

Ford would have let Stan indulge his curiosity, but the lack of contact was getting to Ford. "Stanley?"

His brother nodded, clearing his throat and unbuckling his belt. Ford watched his hands make quick work of the leather, before he slid the denim down over his tight boxers and his large, chubby thighs. There was a small wet spot on the inside of his jeans. Ford wondered if he would add it to their nest.

Stan threw his shirt over his head and then they were both in similar attire. Ford pulled Stanley closer to him again - he just couldn't stand the itch of not touching his twin for long. "Now that that's established..." He dragged Stan back into his bed. They laid facing eachother, legs tangled and arms clinging.

Stan was just so perfect as an omega - so pliant. Ford wondered how he ever could have thought Stan would be an alpha, even with his build. He was so perfect, so trusting, he fit just perfectly in Ford's arms, held into every word despite the physical advantage and the primal mindset an estrous cycle brought to the forefront. Watching Stan happily nuzzle into his smaller chest made Ford almost understand the gaze of an alpha. Stan would just be so easy to take and claim for himself - not because Stanley was weak but because he was Stanford Pines and Stanley was pliant for him and him alone.

He curled a little further towards his brother, when his thightouched something warm and wet. Stanley didn't move away, his nose just scrunched a little and he whined softly. Ford studied every subtle change in his expression.

Then Stan's hips rolled against his thigh. His dick was solid, pressing into his stomach, but Stan was more interested in the new sensations his hole brought, grinding it against Ford's thigh with tiny huffing whines, getting his leg wet while Stan lost himself with his nose still pressed into Ford's ribcage. Ford was like this, too, the first day. It was so cute on Stanley, though. Ford pushed his leg a little harder upward and Stanley moaned quietly, like he thought he was being subtle.

Stan's whines got a little more desperate the longer he went without orgasm, chasing an end that wouldn't come just from a bit of frotting. Ford let him get frustrated, felt his thick thighs quiver under the blanket while he tried to grind harder. Ford felt a drip of hot discharge run off his knee and he snapped.

He grabbed Stan by the hips and Stan stopped dead. "Proper orgasm during an estrous cycle is nearly impossible to achieve by one's self because of the lack of physical contact. This is enough to get rid of the cramps, but if you want to come then you have to ask." His voice was rough from the sight of Stanley, he felt his own slick running down his thighs.

"P-Please." Stanley whimpered. Ford immediately surged forwards, bracketing Stan's larger form under him and pressing their lips together for a searing moment. When he pulled back, Stan tried to follow.

"You want something in your hole, don't you?"

Stan nodded quickly, back arched just a little, neck exposed obscenely.

"Gorgeous - god, Stan, you're so pretty, you know that?" He mumbled into Stan's jaw between short, soft kisses. "You probably want some big alpha to stretch you out, don't you? Fill you up while you take it so perfectly?"

"No." Stan whispered. "Jus-Just you. Please, I want - need you, please." Ford shivered at the words.

"Perfect, Stanley, you're so perfect." Ford purred into Stan's skin while six fingers dipped under Stan's waistband. Stanley was a mess, sopping wet for him and Ford would spend hours licking it all up if Stan hadn't asked to be filled.

Two of his fingers grazed Stanley's soaked enterance and Stanley keened. "M' ready, m'ready - please, Stanford--" Ford pulled his own boxers down and rubbed Stan's slick onto his skin before grabbing Stan's legs to put on his shoulders.

Stanford put his thumbs on either side of Stanley's hole to watch it stretch, watch a little bit of clear fluid burble out. Stan whined under him. "It's gonna hurt, Stanley, I'm telling you."

"Then hurt me." Stanley demanded.

Ford lined himself up and pushed into Stan's feverish warmth. He keened, feeling Stan all around him, slick dripping down into two puddles under them, close enough to merge. He took a breath while Stanley shivered and moaned.

"Move - damn it Sixer gimme all of it--" Ford pulled out and thrust back in again, the smack sounded in the room and both omegas groaned.

"Perfect - g-god Stanley, my perfect little omega - fuck. Gon-gonna full you up, fill you up with my pups - gotta - god - gotta let the world know they lost the perfect omega to an-another fucking omega." Stanley yelped when Ford found his prostate, grinding against if for all he was worth.

"S-Six - gotta - gonna--" Stan sobbed.

"I've gotcha, I've - Stanley." Ford whined, taking one of his hands off Stan's hips to run over his own hole, wetting his fingers in his own sopping mess. "I'm close."

"Please - please--!" Ford shoved two fingers in alongside his dick as his orgasm peaked, and Stan squealed on his pseudo-knot while he came himself. Ford kissed the fresh tears from Stan's face and waited for Stan to come down before gently easing his fingers out.

Stanley's arms wrapped fully around him in a crushing embrace the second Ford was out of him, and his own more practiced purr rumbled them both out of consciousness.

[24hlevi]

Can i please have a Ashlyn x fem reader??🥺 were the Sbg group does the pocky challenge and manages to get Ashlyn to agree to join, and so everyone has a turn with each other (Except for the siblings and cousins ofc) and Ashlyn keeps on backing out every 1-3 bites. While fem reader beats everyone. But then it finally came to Ashlyn and Fem readers round, and surprisingly Ashlyn didn’t back out and they both get really close to each other and finally the reader backs out blushing and Ashlyn wins. (SORRY IF THIS IS A VERY LONG DESC, ive requested this multiple times but i dont think anyone has done or approved of it yet im despratee🤧)

this is actually so cute wtf....thank you for the req! 🫶🫶

— POCKY CHALLENGE!

ashlyn banner (school bus graveyard) x fem!reader

warnings/tags: fluff, mild language, mutual pining, confessions!!

"this is so dumb."

"oh, don't be a downer, ashlyn!" aiden retorts, opening the pocky box, struggling to open the actual package. "this is gonna be so fun!"

"yeah!" taylor nods from her spot on the couch. "we're all friends, it won't be weird or anything. celebrities do this all the time!"

"this isn't a variety show like those kpop idols you watch, taylor," tyler rolls his eyes.

"don't disrespect them!" taylor points a finger at her brother.

"anyways," you say loud enough for them all to hear. "who should go first?"

"i want to!" both taylor and aiden raise their hands excitedly.

"alrighty then," you nod. ben takes the package from aiden who was still struggling and opens it before handing it to you. "taylor hernandez, in the right corner!" you announce as you stand up. "aiden clark, in the left corner!" you fail to notice a pair of eyes on you as you stand between taylor and aiden, taking a pocky out of the package. "okay, i'm going to give you guys one of these, both of you will have each end in your mouth and you'll get closer and closer until one chickens out. this is basically a fun game of chicken. remember, we're all friends! if anything happens, i doubt it'll do anything. are you two ready?" you glance between the two.

"ready!" they say and nod.

"awesome," you grin, handing the pocky to aiden. "round one, start!"

you sit back down on the couch next to ashlyn watching the next few rounds go on. you were grinning from ear to ear every time it was your turn, winning each time you competed. ben was keeping score for fun, and you were easily winning with aiden trailing close behind, only losing cause he backed out at the same time ashlyn did when they did theirs.

now, it was ashlyn and tyler, the second to last round before it was you and ashlyn. taylor was sitting beside you while watching aiden announce the start of the round.

"y'know, i think she's nervous," taylor says to you in a hushed voice.

"hm? i'm surprised she even agreed," you reply, looking over at taylor. "i mean, this was aiden's idea so."

"that's not what i mean," taylor shakes her head. "i mean clearly she's getting more nervous because you're the last round." she says, trying to subtly hint at you ashlyn's feelings towards you.

now you look at her with confusion. "why? cause i keep winning?" you question.

taylor stares at you with a deadpan expression. you're serious. jesus christ. "no," she says slowly. "because-"

"and tyler wins!" aiden exclaims, clapping his hands. "and another loss for ashlyn." he says with a sigh. "anyways! for the final round we have yn and ashlyn! yn, get your ass over here!" aiden grins.

you get up from your spot on the couch and stand in front of ashlyn, smiling lightly as aiden hands you the pocky.

"alright, this is the last round, folks!" aiden says. "if yn wins, she wins the whole thing! if ashlyn somehow manages to win...i guess she also wins the whole thing cause yn is undefeated! are you two ready?" he looks at you two.

"yep," you nod, grinning as you put one end of the pocky in your mouth.

"i guess," ashlyn mutters with a nod, taking a step closer and putting the other end of the pocky in her mouth.

"amazing! let the final round start!" aiden yells, taking a few steps back and sitting on the couch next to ben.

ashlyn's eyes don't meet yours as you take a bite off the pocky, inching closer to her. she can't believe she agreed to do this stupid thing. but, when she finally does look at you, a sudden wave of confidence hits her, and she's determined to win. whether that be making you back out or getting to the end and kissing you. she takes two bites off the pocky, getting much closer than you anticipated causing your breath to hitch in your throat, a small blush forming on your face as you peer back at her.

she's taking you serious, and you couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not. she had backed out within the first three bites with everyone else, and she just bite off more than you did first in all the other rounds. you try to keep your hands from shaking too much, shoving them in the pockets of your jacket so no one can see, starting to panic slightly as you take another bite.

one of ashlyn's eyebrows raise seeing you visibly tense up as you took another bite. you're nervous. that's new considering how well you were doing beforehand. a small smirk makes its way onto her face as she takes another bite, her lips inches away from yours.

you freeze as ashlyn takes another bite, thinking she would back out by now. there was maybe two inches left of the pocky, and you could feel her breath hitting your lips from how close you were. you're not sure if you're breathing at this point, seeing the smirk form on her face and realizing she knows you're nervous. shit, when did she suddenly look so pretty? your face heats up more as your thoughts run around, and you find yourself cursing and pulling your face away from her.

everyone's jaws drop as soon as you take a few steps back, staring in shock as you quickly turn and look away.

"holy shit..." aiden lets out, standing up. "ashlyn has won!" he exclaims, clapping his hands. "great job, ash! as for you yn, i'm disappointed! what the hell happened?!" he looks at you.

"nothing," you quickly shake your head, not being able to look at anyone knowing how much you were blushing. "i need something to drink," you say, speedily walking away into the kitchen.

leaning your back against the kitchen island, you cover your face with your hands, groaning quietly in embarrassment. "such a dumb idea," you murmur into your hands.

"that's my line, y'know,"

you jump in surprise at the voice, removing your hands from your face to see ashlyn standing in front of you, fairly close. your eyes widen slightly as she takes a step closer to you, your mouth feeling dry as you look at her.

"why were you so nervous?" she questions. "with me, i mean," she adds.

"what?" you try to play it off, very obviously lying. "i wasn't nervous."

"uh-huh," ashlyn nods, leaning closer to you and seeing your eyes go wider. "see, you're nervous again. i can hear your breathing hitch. so why?"

shit, that didn't work. you don't know what to do now. you either admit the feelings you had and hope it doesn't blow up in your face, or lie again and hope it works. with a quiet, hushed voice, you manage to get words out. "i-i like you,"

a small smile forms on ashlyn's face at your confession. "good, cause i feel the same," she says in the same voice as yours. "now, can i kiss you since your dumbass chickened out before i could?"

all you do is nod your head, leaning closer as she does, your lips connecting with hers. it was short, pulling away quickly to not get caught by the others. you smile at her fondly, reaching for her hand and grabbing it. "see? this wasn't that dumb of an idea."

"yeah, i guess," ashlyn nods, a tiny smile on her face. "i'm not doing it again, though.

"even if it meant you would get a free pass to kiss me?" you tease.

"maybe not."

[maramarabum]

I can't sleep so it's tbhk theory time

Okay so this is something i have posted before, but now i'm gonna lay more examples supporting my theory

The theory being that everything (or most of) what Tsukasa does is based on Hanako's wishes, based mostly on old chapters

So situation one: Chapter 19, The one where Mitsuba dies

So in this chapter we find out that Tsukasa grants wishes of supernaturals, and we also see that he does it in very unconventional and grotesque ways, as we see him granting Mitsuba's wish of having many friends by turning him into this weird ass monster. And I think in this chapter, we also see him granting Hanako's wish for the first time in the series, but we will get to that later.

Chapter 21, The Tea Party and the door dimension

Yashiro gets kidnapped by Tsukasa and the rest broadcasting room gang to a tea party, the reason being, apparently, to kill her by drowning her in the room, but even as Yashiro herself points out, it doesn't really seem like they actually want to kill her

The weird water that they drowned her in instead transported her to the door dimension that can lead her anywhere, and this is where she goes through the door that leads her to the dimension where Hanako is a living student at her school (and then she gets transported to the current year. oh well).

I know it's a lot of talk and no explenation but bear with me we will get there soon

Chapter 32, Then Mitsuba becomes a school mystery

So 11 chapter later we get direct confirmation that Tsukasa in fact does not want Yashiro to die

And most importantly, we find out Tsukasa actually remade Mitsuba

And this is where it gets to the connection point of the chapters discussed

Kou asks why did Tsukasa remake Mitsuba if he was the one to kill him, to which he answers:

""Just because?" "There was a movie I watched with Amane with an artificial human, I wanted to make one" "But, I dunno... pretty cool, right?"

A hell of an unsatisfactory answer, and he sounds really unpassionate and not really sure, forming the answer more like a question, almost like he's thinking about the reason at the spot, which is exactly what i think hes doing, and it's not the first time.

Chapter 21, the reason he wants to kill Yashiro. We know for a fact that's not how he views his relationship with Hanako, and he literally ends the sentence with "Well, whatever. Anyway."

Chapter 19, asked by Hanako why he turn Mitsuba into that weird ass monster, similiar to chapter 32, he starts with a "hmm..." and thinks for a minute, before actually answering (except this time, his actual answer seems more honest, in a way)

It's really easy to tell when he's hiding his actual motives. And the actual motives, what were they?

To get an answer to that, we don't exactly look for direct quotes for Hanako saying what he wishes for, we more start to speculate what he might be wishing for inside, what he doesn't say.

It's really not that hard, take for example, Hanako wishing he could have somehow met Yashiro when he was still alive, which is exactly what Tsukasa caused in chapter 21

This would be his true intentions behind sending Yashiro to the door dimension.

So how about the whole Mitsuba thing? Well, Hanako was never really happy about Kou having a crush on Yashiro. He has probably thought something like "I wish he would stick to someone else" at least once, right?

And then Kou brings over a ghost student his age to the bathroom stall, asking him how can he deal with him instead of exorcism

Hanako looks like hes getting a bad feeling about him (is he... you know...)

"I want friends. I want to stay with my friends..." Here we have the exact wish that allowed him to "kill" Mitsuba, while also granting his and Hanako's wish. If Tsukasa didn't do anything, Mitsuba would be free to go. He found a friend, and his unfinished business is done. But then, Kou wouldn't stick around with him anymore, so Hanako's wish wouldn't be granted, and also Tsukasa would have taken no part in granting Mitsuba's wish.

The actual way Tsukasa wanted to grant these wishes is by letting Mitsuba turn Kou into a supernatural similar to him, quote "If you make him just like you... you could be together forever, huh?" (THE PARALLELS THE PARALLELS UNRELATED TO THIS THEORY OHHH THE MITSUKOU PARALLELS GOD DESTROY ME SMITE MY BEING)

Directing Mitsuba, guiding him what to do, while also making it seem like it's his own choice, like it's what he wants.

But then Hanako comes over and kills him before that can happen. And he doesn't even look like his confused about whats happening, but he still asks Tsukasa, asks why is he doing this, like he want's a conformation.

Because he knows it was because of him.

Since Tsukasa could tell what Mitsuba wished for because Mitsuba already made a deal with him, it would mean Hanako made a deal with Tsukasa too, all these years ago, a wish that might have been "a little vauge". And also, Hanako doesn't know which one of his thoughts made Tsukasa do this, considering his ways of granting anything are very off the wall, and also, as we discussed before, Tsukasa won't tell him.

(Hanako touching his seal after Kou asks Yako about Mitsuba. His face looking sorrowful, like he's thinking about something)

All he knows is that this happened is because he met Yashiro. He hasn't seen his brother for 20-50 years, and he showed up right after Yashiro became his assistant.

His ghost "life" was boring, nothing really happened, and he stopped wishing for anything. He accepted that he had no future, he needed to take care of the school so he could gain god's forgiveness. But then Yashiro showed up, and his life suddenly was more eventful, he now had a girl to protect. Then after her Kou showed up, and now he had two friends who still had young hope in them.

And it rubbed off on him, it had awakened some hope in him too, made him start wishing again. And now his friends are paying the price of that.

And also it's almost 4 A.M. now as I'm writng this.

So yeah if you have any thoughts on this, other examples or something that contraries my theory please reblog and let me know, i would really like to hear it

(me right now)

[noblechaton]

idk like on some level. sure. mutual hate on a thing can be fun. there's plenty of stuff I poke fun at with my friends - but that's to ourselves, typically in private conversations where fans of such things won't see em, and I've gone out of my way in the near decade (maybe over at this point? eugh) of my fandom of this show to kinda be aware of any of my more negative posts, not tagging them or at least not spamming them

yet with ml there seems to be this constant effort from some to go out of their way to remind you "Erm, but the show is bad??" and it's like. ok. that's how ya feel, whatever, totally fine to think that way, but then they keep going, they go to every post they see - fanart, fic, casual shitposts, anywhere ppl are having fun, anything that doesn't also say the show is bad, and remind you that they think it's bad. they run 6 salt blogs dedicated to characters they've hated for near half a decade from a show they've maybe hated for even longer and sometimes haven't even seen the last few seasons of, all to continue to spout this constant stream of "Show....bad" negativity with no further goal than to, seemingly, try and ruin it for someone else, and to me that sorta thing is just like. what are we doing here man. what the fuck are you

be critical of the show, that's totally fine! I don't love every aspect of it, I'm sure even the biggest bugheads would have something to point out as a flaw or issue they have with it. but this seemingly endless wave of ppl going on and on about how bad they think the show is, how they carry that as if it's objective fact, how they believe everyone in the cast except Marinette or Adrien (or even sometimes like, I dunno, Lila) should be thrown in a meat grinder and make sure that you know they believe such a thing, repeating it so many times as if they want you to believe it, too, and it's just like. why? what's so wrong about others enjoying a silly lil cartoon show?

and ultimately to me it's just like. fuckin' buzz off lmao. I don't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks of the show - my taste in media and my feelings toward the media I consume are the objectively correct ones, after all!

you can't make a single fucking post about miraculous ladybug on this site without someone thinking their opinions about how ML Is A Bad Show are wanted or appropriate

[running-in-the-dark]

it's just. really really hard to find the motivation to keep going, you know? when everything just keeps getting worse. when nothing feels permanent.

[mashmouths]

so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell

[noxiousgrace]

YES YOU'RE SO RIGHT

You have no idea how many times I've imagined krs to that song 😭

I THINK IT'S FAIR TO ALSO SHARE HOW I CONNECT KRS TO THIS SONG HEHEHEHE(I'm sobbing on the inside)

SPOILERS AHEAD

---

"Watch that old fire as it flickers and dies,

That once blessed the household and lit up our lives.

It shone for the friends and the clinking of glasses.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes"

This verse reminds me of the cataclysm in Korea and the 20 year old war in krs' and og!cales world respectively. (We still don't have a name for that planet 😭 it's literally nameless 1)

But it can also be correlated to kim rok soos curse, any warmth in his life has been put out by tragedy after tragedy.

Og!cale was also unfortunate enough to be the last one standing. The survivors guilt with these two goes absolutely insane 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

----

"Capture the wild things and bring them in line

And own what was never your right to confine.

The lives and the loves and the songs are what matters.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes."

I feel like the first 2 lines here could be words meant for the white star, and his holy fucking crusade into ruining the entire world .

And the 3rd line is krs AND cale stating their beliefs. Krs always insists on the fact that staying alive is best and og!cale values the love he has for his family, both of them would do anything for life and love respectively. (Honestly krs would go far for love too, but he hasn't been able to hold onto it long enough, to be confident that he could put everything on the line for it. Until he transmigrated of course, now he has hope that he can hang onto it so it's more on the forefront)

----

"Do you feel heavy? Your eyes drop with grief.

Your spirit is wild and your suffering is brief.

So never you buckle and bend to the masses.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes"

To be honest, I've always connected this verse to raon. Especially how KRS perceives him, going back to the time he first saved raon: The dragon had been tortured for 4 years, and ready to kill himself in order to escape just a few days after krs saved him. contrary to how he (krs) gave up when he was being abused, the little dragon still had fire in his eyes, which was a relief to krs. (Sobbing, every time we get snippets of his previous life i die inside, i love this poor bastard so much)

The third line could corrolate to krs!cale nurturing every child that he adopts. He taught raon to be a DRAGON, he helped lock become the WOLF KING, etc. etc.

And the last line is his continued self sacrifice (when you said it fits that this line is after every verse, YOU WERE SO FUCKING RIGHT 😭)

---

"Get round the fire with a glass of strong ale

And tell us a story from beyond the pale.

Bury some seeds and expect some strong branches.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes"

Okay so i had to look up what beyond the pale means, and it basically means something unacceptable.

The first two could be cale and krs bottling up their trauma. Krs didn't open up until he met lsh and cjs,(i think? Because choi jung soo knew that krs lost everything when his memories were being transferred to choi han) and they probably had to literally sit around a fire since korea was pretty much flattened to the ground, except for a few safe zones,after the cataclysm

As for og!cale, he could've sat with the rest of the soldiers before the battle. He opened up to krs as well which i thought was nice (even if it was partially out of necessity)

The third line is cale picking up munchkins on the way to his slacker life LMAO he's gonna have an empire before he gets to rest istg 😭

-----

"Now show me a man that can meet all his needs,

For what we need most now is unity's seed:

A common old song for all creeds and all classes.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes."

I feel like this verse fits a lot more if you look at it in a different light, i interpret the first line as a rhetorical question, "show me a man that can meet all his needs, go on, you can't" because nobody can fully sustain themselves without the other

And this makes the line apply to everyone in tcf that much more, nobody we've seen so far has been able to survive and accomplish things all on their own. Even in a collapsed society, which krs had to live in for 16 years, everyone was still grasping at the people around them to ensure their survival. While krs is independent, he would've truly burned himself to ashes if he didn't have anybody who even slightly cared about him along the way. His emotional independence is such a facade, he's so weak to affection it hurts me 😭😭😭 he's been deprived of so much, i wanna cry

The second and third line also corrolate to the collapsing worlds krs and og!cale had to live in. Unity was desperately needed against the monsters in korea, and the white star.

Survival is the common old song the third line is talking about, if TCF is the context we're seeing it in 😭

And again, the last line of the verse, their self sacrifice continues

---

"I'll tend to the flame..."

Krs and cale both maintaining their determination for a better future

-----

"What will we do when the world it is ending,

And time it is halted for friend and for foe?

Try to hold on to the time as it passes.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes.

I'll tend to the flame; you can worship the ashes."

I don't have a very deep analasys for this verse specifically, but both krs and cale have tasted the end of the world. Unlike cale, krs has another chance to save everything from ruin. (But, in all fairness, he never had a chance to save korea.)

Them trying to hold on to the time as it passes can be interpreted as them doing their absolute best to preserve the different parts of their lives that keep them sane 😭

Aaand the self sacrifice continues with the last lines.

----

That was my analasys of the connection between ashes and TCF, thank you for coming 🤝🤍

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - it will come back

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - through me (the flood)

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - nobodys soldier

Kim rok soo is so Hozier - All Things End

Kim rok soo is so The longest Johns - Ashes

Kim rok soo is so Frank sinatra - My way

Kim rok soo is so Ado - readymade (english cover by trickle)

Kim rok soo is so Radiohead - just

Kim rok soo is so Depeche mode - Enjoy the silence

Guys i think about Kim rok soo often

Idk if you can tell

[cordycepsbian]

merchant beetle chatting with shopkeep snow bee (and horse wheel bug)

[kanerallels]

Shoutout to my grandpa, whose excessive love of detail and extension cords has been passed on to me, as was made clear when I put up Christmas lights today