#except last year bc i didnt find enough to post

[nomairuins]

caught myself being nostalgic for that damn podcast again. we need to kill connor !

[our-lady-of-mcr]

.

[milfygerard]

it feels a little callous but i cant help but find this whole brittany mahomes thing kind of extremely funny because like. Ok so taylor has very valid reason to not speak out on this upcoming election at all considering she just narrowly avoided a terrorist attack from a different far right extremist group and america has guns and a decent population of people who thought shed use the superbowl to brainwash people into getting gay biden vaccines and im positive many of those people were the cops who would be in charge of investigating that terrorist threat but ALSO none of this wouldve happened if she didnt feel a deep need to be liked and so felt compelled to befriend her boyfriends coworkers wife except her boyfriend is a linebacktightendwhatever for the nfl so of course his coworkers wife (as well as a number of his coworkers) is a conservative white lady who obviously voted trump on the dl and so are most of her friends folding taylor into a circle that even at her most politically mum she never wanted to be involved in. Taylor swift is also of course a known coward who took 10 years and a movie to even just declare that shes a democrat which she obviously was and also obviously hid for marketing reasons (which was heavily encouraged by her team and her dad who is in her team) while taking advantage of the 2015 aesthetic pop politics to say that she likes gay people and respects women, which left a bad taste in peoples mouths once popular politics left its frothy naiivete behind in 2016 and she fell off the face of the earth in a valiant effort to not kill herself which allowed for the co-opting of her extremely white image from the growing reactionary movement that she eventually had to do way more work to cut down bc she didnt nip it in the bud fast enough which has left a long standing bad taste in peoples mouths and a negative association in their minds

but anyway this all leads back to the bizarre mean girl politics of 78 year old high schooler donald trump whose still mad that taylor called him a fascist because i guess he liked her music and who has spent the last few months trying to tie himself to her because she is currently God of the Monoculture and any mention of her brings attention which is mr celebrity apprentices only desire and the reason he even ran for president but now HIS star is falling as the republican party has finally found a good excuse to kick him to the curb because they have a far less embarassing woman who is popular enough that you can publicly support her and only leftists will be disgusted but fascist enough to work directly with you to continue funding and supporting the brutal racist border policies we hold with mexico and the insanse christian zionist genocide happening in palestine and definitely wont do anything to stop the transphobia culture war that you have rolling which will keep you in legislative and representative power for as long as you want BUT i digress. donald trump found out probably from understandably angry swifties that some WAG who liked posts supporting him is ALSO publicly associated with taylor swift and is considered a friend in her circles and so the DAY BEFORE hr boyfriends first game where she generally sits in the WAG group with families and partners including her new bestie brittany he makes a very public post announcing how he just SOOO APPRECIATES brittany mahomes and her PUBLIC SUPPORT and how its SO IMPORTANT TO HIM which sets a trap specifically made to torture taylor swift of choosing between publicly rejecting and admonishing brittany mahomes and her support which will not just piss off brittany and patrick burning a personal AND professional bridge, but also a large chunk of the extremely conservative NFL and could potentially have a negative impact on travis' career going forward considering how petty sports drama can be OR she can say nothing and trigger headline after headline of TAYLOR SWIFT FRIENDS WITHWOMAN PUBLICLY THANKED BY DONALD TRUMP FOR SUPPORT which isnt only a pr nightmare but also gets trump his one actual desire which is being paid attention to and discussed OR she can go to the game but show in some way that she endorses Harris/Walz which will cause a similar shitstorm but in this one the likeliness of major conspiracy thoeries and terrorist threats and plots based on those theories rises exponentially less than a month after the last terrorist plot (discussed earlier in the post) that led her to cancel a 4 show stay that I imagine wasnt great for her anxiety and paranoia

and the funniest part is this is 10000% entirely her fault for failing to pick a side on the public about politics vs just a singer and artist debate and constantly going back and forth as her morals, her business instincts, her cowardice, and her self conscious need to be liked all go to war with each other because she just had to be friends with her boyfriends coworkers wife without ever assuming that this wildly wealthy white woman may possibly be a conservative because all the wildly wealthy white women she hangs out with are DEMOCRATS! or at least PRETEND to be! and THIS is why you dont date guys who work in the NFL!

[againtodreaming]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

@lyloneliness you send the first ask but also @mavr4xx @vinylbiohazard @ghostsinacoat @yumaisbored you also asked this too and omg i love u all but also, why do you do this to me 😭😭😭 i was already struggling a lot to think of 5 things with the first ask (and i still haven't even gotten to the tag game of this), and now I have to think of TWENTY-FIVE?!? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ (plus 5 more if I end up finding the tag game again plus the ability to think of 5 more...)

Anyways, thank you so much for the asks (´,,•ω•,,)♡ ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊♡ (even if they are the hardest asks I have done in my life 💀) (it was interesting and fun tho 🌟) you are all awesome 💖🌟💞 now here we go:

(25 things here in the same post bc…not sure I just started doing it after @ all of u and I am doing this draft in my phone and separating this in the other asks i still have to look for is too much work) (apologies for the length, the further i got, the longer some of the answers became😅)

1 - My hair (used to be really thick and my mom used to make this amazing hairstyles almost every day when I was a kid—there was one that was a huge rose made of braids or smth, the hairpins were awful and it took so long but it was so pretty, I think my mom even made it for the wedding of one of her friends, anyways I lost maybe more than half of my hair when I was like 15, stress probably, and then I decided to cut it even below the shoulder—first time in my life it was so short—bc I was so mad with it but also bc I had zero energy to even try to take care of it by that point. Grown back until like my mid-back—used to have it like waist length before—by now and now I got maybe a little more than half of the hair that I used to have at 13 which is a lot better than it was at 15 and hopefully it gets back to what I used to have in a couple of years more, but for now it's enough to start playing with it and doing braids)

2 - Open-mindedness

3 - Creativity

4 - Patience

5 - That I'm an older sister

6 - Uf, how do I explain this one—like, empathy? kindness? feeling things deeply? putting yourself in the other person's shoes and being considerate of that? being too sentimental? which can be really annoying too but I wouldn't trade it so...

7 - That I can talk really fast

8 - Being expressive

9 - Always thinking things through

10 - Confident in my likes? (okay, so this one feels complicated, but for example, when I was a little kid, 6 or 7 years old probably, I loved superheroes, but my classmates in my all-girls school were like, that's for boys 😒, and I felt horrible bc that was just another thing in that i didnt fit in with everyone else and i always wanted to fit in, but somehow—which looking back feels weird bc who even knew i could be surprisingly confident in some aspects—was that i never thought i was in the wrong for liking superheroes? Like, yeah, I always wanted to fit in and I felt bad that I didn't, but even with all the social insecurity I was constantly plagued with, I never felt like I was in the wrong for being myself or that I should change myself or pretend to like stuff I didn't just to fit in (that strategy didn't even cross my mind until I was…can't be sure, it was somewhere in the last few years in this country, it was either a documentary, fiction, or the group therapy, but the idea of actual people in real life doing smth they didn't agree and had no purpose except to fit in was like: 🤯!?!!?!?!) (I didn't handle it that well either to be fair, if I wasn't with my friends i just decide to hide during recess and/or to not speak at all with anyone, until I changed schools) (I liked the 2nd school better). I assume that in my head I was like: "shame that I'm not like all of you but what can you do, I'm me ╮(╥﹏╥)╭ "

11 - I'm usually also all or nothing with almost all things? Like, for example, math. I don't like math, it has always been the class I struggled with the most and all my math teachers in Peru were really strict and thank goodness that my dad loves math and really good at it or I would have been lost without someone to explain it to me. But last week, my parents got an email from my math teacher who was telling them how proud she was of me and how I always strove to understand everything and there was some implication that I did it bc I liked what I was learning, which like, I mean, I like geometry a lot more than algebra bc it's simpler, and I don't exactly hate it, but I certainly wouldn't do it for pleasure. At all. And yeah, I ask her about everything I don't understand (she insisted to the whole class to please ask her anything if we needed help, so i had permission; if she wasn't available tho, I just would have asked my dad or a friend who is good at math to explain it to me) and ask her to show me exactly what I did wrong and what would be the correct answer but all of that is bc well, if I'm going to do well in the class, I need to understand what I did wrong in order to fix it, and like, math classes always build on each other, so if I don't smth I will later have problems with it, and also like, I'm already stuck with the class whether I like it or not, if I'm going to do smth, I'm going to do it well. Which is smth my mom has complained a lot of times, especially during last school year when I had a lot of late assignments bc I was too anxious about doing any of them bc I was afraid of doing it wrong or bc I didn't have the energy to think clearly so I wouldn't be able to do my best so like yeah…I ended up not doing the assignments at all (this is the part that I hate about this all or nothing thing with me, but let's focus on the positive side right now). Or with projects, I once stayed awake until like 5 am like several nights straight to do a project for economics class which like…I decided to make my own illustrations for each slide of the ppt to illustrate the information on top of doing the reading and answering the questions stuff…and I was already in a hurry with it bc I didn't know the school put assigned summer readings in the school's website (it was my first year in this country and nobody had said anything about it the year prior, plus it was quarantine time) and the teacher gave me a few extra days bc I still needed to hurry up in reading the book so yeah, I should have done smth more simple and fast to just submit it and get a grade but it wouldn't have been doing my best, not even near my best and I was already compromising on some stuff to not take too long since there wasn't too much time for my initial ideas so…yep. The teacher loved my project tho (and gave me a 100 even tho it was one day late) and asked if she could use it for her class of next year soooo…totally worth it. But yeah, i was sort of confused that Geometry teacher thought to send an email like that when I have only been trying to understand the concepts I am assigned to learn?

Thinking, thinking, thinking….you know what, I want to put my height in here just annoy my sister (she would be all dramatic annoying fake pitying dramatic gasp about it and would drag the younger ones to her side of the argument) but she wouldn't even see it plus I don't actually care about heights (I just care that she's annoying about it almost daily) so that would also be a lie so another thing….you know what, i already got 11 in one morning, coming back to this later

12 - Okay, so I hate all my health problems, absolutely hate them, so annoying and expensive and restricting and confusing BUT—how do I word this…it has 2 parts…umm…okay, so I'm really familiar with the clinic in Peru I used to go all the time and, okay I hated having to go to the clinic so many times, especially towards the end, but I liked being familiar with it? Like, the people, the sense of a community, the building, the routine. It was probably more familiar than my schools since I changed schools a few times while the clinic was there ALWAYS (until we moved countries and I never expected to miss the fucking clinic but it happened which wtf but also makes sense which also omg mila (ノ◇≦。) but also, the medical system was definitely easier and less expensive than whatever the fuck they have going on here, plus not having all our usual doctors, so there is also a practical reason aside from me unreasonably missing everything that was familiar including things I didn't even like much). That's the first part. Second part is that it has brought…lessons ig. Like, idk, it's been a huge formative part of my life. About health and food and family stuff and experiences. Like, I hate having the health problems (they are A LOT better now than when I was younger as long I do some things to keep it that way, but yeah, really grateful for that) but also, I don't really know who I would be without those experiences? Changed the whole family too so like…idk, it's weird but felt worth mentioning.

13 - That I'm really curious and like learning.

14 - Sense of style

15 - Loyalty—to people (like, even swallowed down all my shyness and anxiety to try to reconnect with some childhood friends I hadn't talked in forever bc moving countries and depression thing) (going well, really happy that we are talking again) but also like to interests and values ig? Like, most of my likes (superheroes, anime, drawing, maybe writing but not sure about that one, all started before I even turned 8 y/o) and like, aside from maturing and a couple of things, I don't think I've changed much at all. I have never stopped liking smth I used to like anyways.

16 - Openness ig? Like, I never want to be a bother so it depends on the person and the history i have with them and sometimes on the occasion, but I never really had any problems asking for help or speaking about my problems or feelings

17 - My handwriting when it's not written in a hurry

18 - My attention to detail

19 - Not getting mad easily—which is you know good with being an older sister too bc like...my dad is really annoying (but like jokingly annoying) and a lot of times bc of it (or some other times other family members) my sister and my mom get mad about some small comment they take seriously and then they get angry and leave the table or living room or whatever and then it's like all awkward bc the mood got broken (which also, a little hypocritical especially bc the sister also loves to be annoying in purpose with everyone of us) but unlike them, the middle sister and me like...we don't really care much about it? We are usually the ones that get more teased by the others but it's like, smth one therapist didn't understand, which was so annoying wtf did setting boundaries had to do with my siblings being annoying, I don't care that they are annoying bc it's like, we usually get along well (presently; there used to be constant fighting between 2 of them we were little but they are better now) and they have always been annoying but it's like, a game, I know they are not serious about the matter. I can be annoying back if I feel like it and it's all in good fun. The only times I don't like it it's when it's actually serious, with you know, intention to hurt or being passively aggressive mad about smth, stuff like that. Point is that yeah, it's also good for sibling diplomacy bc I'm rarely the one getting mad with the other ones.

20 - That I like dogs

…I can't think of 5 more. Uf, let's see…okay, getting desperate here but—

21 - That I'm Peruvian

22 - Good at cooking

23 - Good at planning

24 - My self-awareness

25 - That I like to be more positive and hopeful about things in general I think? (myself is usually an exception) Constant argument with my sister bc she can be so pessimistic sometimes. Like, life is already hard enough as it is, having fun and connecting with people makes things more enjoyable, so why not try to focus on the bright side whenever possible and make things better. She thinks I'm naive, I know I can be naive, but also, if I have to live I'm going to enjoy it bc what's the point otherwise. Generalizing things doesn't help. I think.

OKAY!! DONE!! 25 THINGS!!! FINALLY 😭💖

Thank you again and I hope you are all doing well <33

[shwarmii]

hi, i'm @/shwarmi, and tumblr tERMINATED MY BLOG (AND ALL MY SIDE-BLOGS WITHOUT WARNING ME) and i messaged them to get it back but idk when theyll get back to me, so here i am in the meantime, hello, i guess this is my back-up account now, yes, my url is a pun on Roman numerals, anyway, sure do fucking hope i gET MY BLOG BACK JFC

edit: i've been filling out a ticket form about Account Termination once a day (here's the link to it if you ever need help finding it for yourself in the future; please don't try to help me via spamming the ticket form or anything, they explicitly ask to not involve other people uninvolved in your account AND i feel bad enough doing spam once a day already; but, anyway, yes, i recommend doing what i did and having bookmarked the aforementioned link and just copy&paste my form answers into the ticket from a seperate document, like from Google Drive or something, so you don't have to retype it everytime), and i have recieved no reply nor even a confirmation e-mail. hence the lack of updates on how my account is doing. there's no other way to contact staff, except maybe via Twitter, as their support e-mail is no longer accepting messages (hopefully bc of the following they will be in contact with you sooner than they have been with me, bc i didnt know this following tip this past week i've been filling out that ticket and noW YOU DO, you lucky bastard. do what i did with a seperate document to prep in case this is a multi-day process, but hopefully you'll get farther in less time than i have bc jfc i wasn't even getting a confirmation e-mail beforehand big McYikes)

BUT!!1! a friend of mine who was terminated last year said to attach my un-terminated e-mail's account (aka the e-mail i am using right here for @/shwarmii, and not for the terminated @/shwarmi like i had been doing liKE A DUMMY APPARENTLY) to the ticket's general "Put your e-mail here" slot and to explain within "The more details, the better" part your original e-mail attached to the terminated account in addition to the rest of your explanation. and i finally got a confirmation e-mail that my ticket has been recieved! yes, it was just an automated response but yay! finally!! progress!!1! i at least got a fUCKING CONFIRMATION E-MAIL, HAHA, VICTORY!

god i fucking wish i knew about the "just dont use your e-mail linked to your terminated account" tip a week ago jfc on a hot dog stick, my guys, finally, a confirmation e-mail, gahhh

since i now have a confirmation e-mail, i will wait five buisness days (so today is the 8th and a Monday, therefore, i'll wait until Saturday which is the 12th except i said "business days" ergoooo Monday the 14th) to e-mail them again. i hate waiting tho ughhh like, fine, i'll do what i gotta do but also ugghhhhh

↳ additional note: this update/edit was made on 8 August 2023. @/shwarmi has been terminated since 31 July 2023 (or 30 July 2023, and i just was too exhausted to make the account/post until the 31st. i forget. i was in the middle of moving and im disabled, so i was over-exerting myself big-time. i had processed that my account had been terminated at the time and just responded by taking a nap lmao rip but yeah, therefore, it's all been a blur)

NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. COOL. (Narrator: It was not, in fact, "cool".) I WAITED AS PLANNED (this update is being written on 14 August 2023) AND STILL NO FOLLOW-UP TO MY CONFIRMATION TICKET. HATE THAT FOR ME.

instead of sending in a new ticket as i originally planned, i replied to their confirmation email since it said i could do that (for permalinks or whatever) so that they will HOPEFULLY get back to me without me having to be a pest about their automated systems, ugh.. (i have cropped out my email and the Ticket Number(? i assume that's what that string if letters and numbers are anyway) for privacy reasons, but here is what the confirmation e-mail looks like and how i replied. i am including this mostly to help out anyone who may be terminated in the future have an idea of what to expect and an expectation of "OH, okay, so i can reply to THIS email-address, got it" kind of nonsense or whatever. why not lmao)

i will wait another five buisness days, so that'll be on the 21st of August 2023. hopefully, i will update with good news before then (aka: they'll haVE REPLIED MAYBE PLS PLS PLS) but i guess i will have to be annoying if not

it is the 20th (so they have one more day before i have to be annoying anD I DONT WANNA BE.. pls send me ideas of how to be annoying that doesnt include the Hateful Xitter pls, my only idea is to DM them there and i dON'T WANNA) and even my gmail thinks the lack of response is fucked up lmao rip

having a Bad Brain Day streak rn due to my (abusive) dad's failing health and unpacking and all this other shit i have to do post-moving like switching my insurance and renewing my liscence and fuck all, so bothering tumblr about not replying to me is gonna take a bit more of a backseat for a minute, hold on

it.. is now August 30. brain still in gutter, but i forced myself to make a xitter/twitter (don't follow, ill delete the account after they help me or not). and it wouldnt let me dm, so i had to just @ them and post. brain so sad that i cannot even be amused rn that @/shwarmi on there was taken by a shwarma restaurant. @/tumblrsupport's Replies tab shows signs of helping people as recently as 2 hrs ago, but idk if there's another queue here. i guess we'll find out?? i just want my accounts with all their posts and shit back pls, this has taken so long to try to do 💔

edit: if you're curious, it is 3 Sept 2023 and i am still waiting (it looks like they are looking at people who @'ed them on Sept 1 rn and iM LIKE "PLSSSS, I @'ED YOU ON THE 30TH OF AUGUST PLSSSSSSS", gonna give them until the 5th before i tweet again i guess 🥺)

i am not god's strongest soldier. i continue to cry out for help, alas, i have yet to receive an answer

it does not help that the twitter account sometimes says to people: "What is your Tumblr URL? We can check and see if there was a glitch of some sort. But be advised that if it is a TOS violation situation or a bigger tech issue, we cannot assist/reply on Twitter" so that doesnt make me panic aT ALL that maybe i broke TOS without any form of a warning or knowledge that i wasnt following tumblr's terms of services regarding things like nsfw and whatnot (narrator: they were panicking)

i hate it here. staff should at least be able to tell me (via email, if not twitter) that i wont be getting my account back or whatever else instead of just saying NOTHING??????

going to do all this again (tweet support, make a whole new ticket (i still have the info saved thankfully), reply to my old email confirmation) on September 27th (an arbitrary date based on I Have A Lot Going On Rn) if they continue to not reply. if i hit the 30 images limit, guess ill be reblogging and adding even MORE to this thread jfc juST TALK TO MEE!!!1!

[quitepossiblybamboozled]

So, I’ve been SUPER hyperfixated on Night at the Museum lately, and as a result I have watched every film multiple times in the last two or three weeks except for the last one bc it’s really bad.  This was going to be a post about how shitty Night at the Museum: Kahmunrah Rises Again really is, but I got carried away with my analysis of the first film, so I’ll have to come back to it later and talk about how perfect Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb was to bookend the original trilogy and how well it shows the growth of Larry and Nick, but for now have this analysis of the original Night at the Museum.

The first film, Night at the Museum is a really nice opening film for the franchise, and even a great standalone!  The film starts with an uncertain Larry Daley, unemployed and on the verge of another eviction (This is implied when his ex-wife, Erica, asks, “You didn’t get evicted again, did you?” and Larry responds, “I didnt...get evicted.  I didn’t get evicted, no.  I mean, I didn’t...  No, I didn’t get evicted, yet.”), whose ten-year-old son, Nick, is so used to his father’s instability that he’s already making his own backup plan.  Following his peewee hockey game, he tells Larry that he wants to be a bond trader because that’s what Erica’s fiance, Don, does.  When Larry protests with, “But you love hockey!” Nick replies, “Yeah, but bond trading is my fallback.”

to Nick, Don is stable.  Don is safe.  What Don does makes his mom happy.  Larry is always on the verge of some sort of collapse, and he sees his mom stress about it every single day.  Nick loves his father very, very much, but he’s getting to an age where some things are starting to click for him.  It’s not normal to have to move every few months.  It’s not normal for his dad to have a different career every time he sees him.  It’s not normal for him to be constantly worried about whether or not his dad will have a job tomorrow.

Nick is a very realistic depiction of a ten-year-old boy, in my opinion, and I think his actor did an amazing job portraying the emotions the script calls for.  We only see Nick laugh in the movie one time, and it’s when Larry is teasing him about becoming a bond trading robot.  This is immediately juxtaposed by Nick telling Larry that Don is stable, that bond trading is his backup plan, that he is making a Plan B before he’s even had time to think about Plan A.  Larry asks Nick where he even heard the term “fallback” and Nick reveals that it came from his mother, who has apparently vented enough about Larry’s, quote, “crazy schemes,” that it has stuck as something important in Nick’s mind.

This seems to be the kick in the pants that Larry really really needed to find and stick with a job: the fact that his ten-year-old is stressed about his own future to the point of pre-planning for failure of a dream he hasn’t even cemented yet.  It clicks for Larry that, because he has put so much into chasing his dreams, his own son thinks that dreaming is essentially a waste of time.

We see instances of this sort of reoccuring to Larry throughout the film each time he goes to quit.  He has the most insane, unstable job he could possibly have, but it is still more sane and stable than what he has now.  Because what he has now is nothing.  What he has now is a failed attempt at cheating a parking meter and a boot on his car.  What he has now is a son who is so embarrassed by him that he won’t even tell him about Parent Career Day.  What he has now is an ex-wife who is also his best friend who cannot, in good conscience, let him take his own son for the night.  What he has now is a kid who is trying to be an adult when he should be focusing on doing literally whatever he wants.

The first time Larry tries to quit, he runs into Nick and Don as he’s exiting the building, and seeing his son with such a stable father figure makes him turn around and try again.  It makes him beg Dr. McPhee for a second chance.  It gives him new resolve to try and do this right this time.

The second time, when Dr. McPhee fires him, it’s that same desire for stability that drives him to fight for one more chance at this job.  It’s seeing Nick not believe him about getting his job back that makes him the most eager to prove himself.  Hell--he even tries to prove himself to Rebecca that night!  When nothing comes to life at dusk, Nick once again assumes his father is just..unstable.  And Larry is desperate to disprove that.  Nick takes off, and when Larry asks where he’s going, he insists that he’s going home.  His trust in his father has been betrayed for the last time.

And then they run into the old Night Guards, and Larry pleads with Nick to believe him one more time.  To just turn the middle piece of the tablet, and the whole museum will come to life, and he’ll be just that much less insane in the eyes of his own child.  And Nick does.  And it works! and they have a wild adventure of a night!  And Larry saves the day!  And he doesn’t lose his job!  And everything works out!

And then, at the end of the film, we have a Larry who, in all his instability, manages to balance the impossible task of getting an entire museum to live together in harmony.  We have a Nick who can let loose, who can allow himself to ride on the back of a T-Rex, and who can be proud enough of his father to bring him to Career Day, and whose belief in the dreams and magic of the world has been restored because his father refused to let them die.  And when Larry asks if Nick is ready to go home, he says a casual, smiley, “Nope.”

[hostilemuppet]

PART FOUR (snack pack edition)

smidge: poppys royal adviser who occasionally helps with audio mixing since we made poppy both a queen and a popstar who gives a shit anymore. initially not in the spotlight, she is caught by paparazzi sharing a stoutberry soda with poppy after the "breakup". she is thrilled by the immediate rumours of her being poppys rebound and she takes the opportunity to capitalise on the controversy. she starts constantly shittalking branch on twitter, but she makes sure to clear with him privately that its nothing personal, just business. she posts old photos (and some new ones, not that anyone realises) of branch and poppy with branchs face covered (rotates between vomiting emojis, thrown pies and splatted tomatoes). this situation, however, leads to "poppys dating a stan" rumours, which are pretty short lived as poppy makes a statement clarifying "me and smidge have been friends for years, ever since we hatched!" but nothing about whether they were actually dating. smidge tweets "😏".

barb (part 3): barb gets ratio'd for implying milton moss is a pedophile. "grown ass man fucking a minor-passing female". smidge says how shes older than barb, old enough to be her young aunt, so barb antis (barntis) dog on barb by telling her to "listen to auntie smidge, its bed time". barb mutes the tweet and never mentions smidge again but (with her likes hidden through twitter blue) starts liking tweets transvestigating smidge. barb relapses.

tangential: barb never deletes the tweets that get ratio'd, she keeps everything up, no matter how much riff used to beg her to take them down. a call my girl the playstation because shes almost 5 situation.

creek: creek orchestrated the "floyds sextape" debacle bc he thought tanking one of the members of brozones reputation would ruin the band and therefore branch (didnt work bc gay people (the majority of brozones fanbase) love drama). after hearing about floyd collabing with riff (also dead to creek) he decides its personal. he disguises himself as a regular joe at floyds favourite lowkey non celebrity normal person gay bar every night until he actually runs into him and by the time floyd realises hes creek its the next morning after they spent the night in a shitty motel with very high quality drugs, of both the recreational and performance enhancing varieties. what follows is convoluted death note psychological warfare where creek thinks he is manipulating floyd but really floyd is always 2 steps ahead of him doing the REAL manipulating and finds it really entertaining. occasionally the entire internet will convince itself (with floyds help) that creek is an abusive boyfriend, and creek antis (crantis) will write threads about how "floyd isnt really pro life, creek is grooming him" etc, and depending on how many lines floyd has snorted off creeks torso (big reveal) he will qrt with "i am 10 years older than him". bruce clay and branch know the truth, that floyd is fucking with creek, but they all agreed that jd wouldnt be able to stop himself from spilling the beans so they decided in their second family group chat (that jd is not a part of) to not tell him (floyd asks "can you guys pretend i feel anything for creek other than amusement and mild lust" and branch asks "was that last part really necessary"). jd thinks floyd is actually in love with creek and theyre gonna get married some day, which they probably will, but its a celebrity marriage so itll last a year, tops, and creek will get full custody of the twins (their names are brad and angelina) bc floyds too much of a player to be tied down with familial responsibilities (he doesnt want to cut down on his coke habit or address his lifelong commitment issues)

satin & chenille: set up by fans and detractors alike as the rival to Viva La Viva, satin and chenille host their own podcast, except instead of being focused solely on them or whoever is guesting, they focus on current events and politics. the Bedhead Scare podcast, tagline "hot bitches with hot takes", is a controversial (to put it mildly) talkshow (being very generous) where capitalising on controversy is the name of the game and brother, they play to win. they love the drama. they have done irreparable damage to the self image of younger millennial / older gen z pop trolls. they have their own makeup line and have probably pedalled diet pills, while bragging about their effortless figures (chenille gets liposuction regularly and satin lives by "a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips"). they have a joint onlyfans which is probably really really weird but anyone who is criticising them is more focused on the snake oil theyve tied their names to or that time they had velvet (sans veneer) on for an episode.

cooper: never checks his qrts or notifs or mentions or indirects, absolutely nothing. he sees it on his timeline or not at all. king of accidental controversy. tweets "i dont see the problem with being pro ship" bc he thinks it means you like boats. prince d has to clarify what he actually means for him often and one day changes his dn to "cooper updates 🎶" as a joke but never ended up changing it back so he regularly gets confused for the actual update account. one day someone asks cooper what he thinks of creek and he answers "i dont watch south park". unbothered. moisturised. in his lane. cooper and hickory tied for winning the idgaf war

abortiongate 2024: soon before floyd and creeks divorce, creek gets his second egg (the twins were fraternal, both parents had an egg in their hair, trolls are weird) and wants to abort it. if youve been following along youll know that floyd is pro life and would never agree to it, so while hes (supposed to be) out creek takes a hammer to the egg, comically the exact second floyd walks back in. news somehow gets out to the public (their maids are being paid off by velvet to supply her with all the dirt they can muster) and before they know it the entirety of twitter is split into 4 stances: "its so sad the both of them lost a child" "i cant believe creek would kill that baby, it was just as much floyds egg as his" "creeks body his choice" and finally "are we forgetting that floyd is literally pro life". the majority are, surprisingly, on creeks side and its the first time he has the better reputation out of the two. floyd gets home drunk after drinking his feelings (and remaining a faithful husband) and creek is sprawled out on the sofa, eating his favourite ice cream, watching his favourite soap, wearing his favourite fluffy robe, loving life. creek says "oh hello love, i dont suppose youve checked twitter today?" and floyd flips him off. floyd drunkenly mourns his unborn baby (he wanted to name them shiloh) on twitter and gets qrtd with google image results for omelettes. people say "oh thats too far, thats not funny" but creek is liking them on main. rare victory for creek! just 300 more and theyll be approaching even

the diamonds: family vlog channel. guy exploits his baby infant son for internet microfame (the fact hes besties with the queen helps too). does a lot of crossfit. despite marketing himself as wholesome and spotless guy gets into controversy when he is caught soliciting a camgirl and the channel goes on "hiatus". guy makes a big show of how tiny diamond isnt allowed to use the internet but tiny runs a stan account (for trollex, if youre curious) and gets into a lot of fights where he pulls the neurodivergent minor card. speaking of, his carrd is an epileptics nightmare. guy gets cancelled (again) for agreeing with floyds pro life views (he posted "when someones getting cooked for a take you agree with" on priv which floyd has access to, and throwing someone under the bus to save your own skin runs in the family it seems). tiny consoles him and assures him that hes still the best daddy in the world, then goes to his room and posts his trollex fancams under the GUYISOVERPARTY hashtag for views. even though guy is trying to teach tiny his values, tiny has access to the internet and has looked into the issue enough to be confident he is pro choice. when guy finds out he sobs "WHERE DID I GO WRONG?" in autotune

biggie: has an account for mr dinkles where he acts as if its mr dinkles running it (with "cutesy" poor grammar and spelling) and for some reason or another he gets into mild drama that he makes SO much worse bc while addressing it he doesnt break character. mr dinkles is gay and homophobic

dj suki: decently popular until it comes to light she steals her sets from her child niece with minor adjustments (a basic kick drum loop + sample phrases recorded from her friends without permission). dj suki says it was bc "shes too young to deal with the spotlight, and this way her art still gets to be shown to the world!" conveniently leaving out how much money she gets out of it. its totally fine though, because sometimes dj will take cj to get fast food (her parents are vegans) and maybe, MAYBE, if a set does particularly well, shell give her some starbursts, and cj will say "i prefer chocolate, you know this" and dj will say "well, life aint fair, kid"

fleekgate 2027: several years after the divorce creek and floyd run into each other at a charity event for orphans. its a little awkward. they've both had some wine. they wake up the next morning married again. even though they're initially disgusted they both missed each other so much, they had become so unhealthily codependent on their fucked up looney tunes dynamic. they really think they're gonna make it work this time! fingers crossed 🤞

Brozone (and friends (and enemies)) twitter drama au

Collaborative between me and @squirrelpatties. Truly our magnum opus

Jd: previously a frequent twitter e-clown infamous for name searching and starting beef with people who insulted him. His fanbase thought it was hilarious in a "grandpa escaped the hospital" way. Eventually was forced to relinquish control of @/brojohndoryofficial to his pr manager (clay) after he responded to 14 y/o @/j0ndryballzweat.

Floyd (part 1): his sex tape (with a fan he didnt know was a fan but thats hardly relevant) gets leaked. For the first three days everyone's timeline was full of "do NOT share it around, dont even look for it, if someone sends it to you IGNORE it, this is a disgusting breach of privacy" until Floyd addresses it by tweeting "decided to put on a different kind of show for you guys" and all hell breaks loose. Every tweets hidden replies are full of screencaps and reuploads for a month. People edit the video so just before anything explicit happens it's replaced by a video game cutscene or meme, which Floyd retweets a lot of. His brothers ask him to stop (both for publicity and bc it makes them uncomfortable) so he starts posting thirst traps on insta. Clay yells at him so Floyd tweets "clay just asked when I'm gonna get a girlfriend :/" which brings us to-

Clay: homophobia allegations. Admittedly the least serious and would have blown over quickly if it weren't for him panic tweeting "I'm not homophobic! My girlfriend is a bi lesbian!" People were NOT happy. It takes him three days of retweeting 'helpful educational threads and carrds' on lesbianism written by 14 y/os for people to get off his back. Viva understands.

Bruce: stays off social media bc its the mind killer so he lets clay take care of @/brobruceofficial. This goes well until clay gets drunk and thinks he's on his private account but is actually on Bruce's public. When he wakes up (hungover) in the morning hes got Bruce banging on his door asking why TMZ is reporting on him cheating on his wife. Bruce tells him to clear things up but clay JUST got the lesbians off his back and can't afford to be back in the hotseat...

Branch and poppy: branch was annoyed by all the branch/poppy rpf fanfic (poppy likes them bc she thinks they're cute and funny. When brozone go on tour she reads the smutty ones) so he suggested to poppy that they stage a fake breakup. Poppy is initially against the idea until branch brings up how much fun itd be to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. Poppy scrapbooks the tabloids about their breakup. Clay and Bruce blame clays drunken tweets on branch so clay seems like the victim. Poppy acknowledges this on twitter in a way that very heavily implies they broke up bc branch was cheating on her with her own sister. Viva does not understand. This one doesn't have a resolution yet bc we moved onto:

Barb: previous lesbian icon turned reactionary transphobe. Riff stopped associating with her once she started getting really public with it and now she keeps tweeting stuff like "you-know-who left me just to work with misogynists. Really makes you think 🤔 " which he ignores.

Riff: while still working with barb he was approached to collab with creek (damage control for the... unsavoury things he said about rock trolls). The second the song released he tweeted "wow that guy was an asshole LOL" bc he didn't realise he wasn't supposed to do that. Cut contact with barb once her transphobia went from "mild, I can fix her" to "jesus fucking christ". Briefly worked with Floyd until his second controversy at which point riff tweeted "cmon, man" and turned off his phone. Riff hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves a lot better

Velvet: crafted the perfect expose thread on Floyd when she was in prison, including "pro life" "publicly sharing inappropriate sexual content" and "uses the toothpaste flag". Posts it the second she gets let out of prison and instantly becomes #1 on trending (alongside "floyd" "pro life" and "#HUGS4CLAY).

Floyd (part 2): tweets "why does it even matter that I'm pro life if I'm gay and don't 'believe' in 'voting'" before doing another line off his boyfriends torso. People bring his leaked nudes back up and start insulting his dick size and its the first time hes ever let a controversy bother him. His next tweet is "I am not ashamed of my body" and the top reply (creek pfp) is "you should be ❤". Clay is biting the skin off his own tongue.

[whatpixels]

Helpful Sites

Here are some cool things I’ve collected over time from other posts and stuff, I hope someone else finds these useful! (I love them when I need a distraction c: )

***You can bookmark this page, it has everything on it, and I update it when I find something new!***

Interactive Sites/ Games:

Little Alchemy - combine elements to make new ones, and so on!

Tamagotchi - The classic simple and cute game!

Geo Guesser - Guess where you are, using Google Maps!

Cute Orisinal Games - Many mini games with cute themes!

Spent - An online game about surviving poverty

Thisissand - Make art using sand

Anime Avatar Creator - Self explanatory (!!! Loud music!!!)

Pokemon Fusion - Fuse Pokemon

Synaptop - Computer interface with it’s own little network?

PlanetMaker - Make a planet!

PointerPointer - Let your mouse sit there and it’ll match a picture to it

Virtual Piano - Play the piano!

Cookie Clicker - Get as many cookies as you can!

Color- Method of action - Match the color as close as you can

Seaquence - Cute little “sea” theme music maker

Today I die - Simple pixel game (Actually really inspirational)

Deer Cam - no longer live, hacked version of GTA SA, a deer through the city

Essay Typer - input any subject and press any keys for it to write for you (internet based)

Deep Space Map - you need the Google earth plugin but it’s pretty cool!

Art:

Color Blender - Blend any color into another (Great for gradients!)

Color Wheel - Find complimentary or opposite colors using this wheel!

Make a Galaxy - Make a galaxy using cool brushes

Weave Silk - Cool brushes that look like silk/space

Pose Maker - Stick figure like model

Art Models - 3D models, most are rotatable

Line of Action - pictures of models (nude and clothed, you can even add a time limit)

Color Palette Generator - Input image using url to get a color palette using the colors in the image

ColorHexa - Color Hex codes! + learn about colors

Color Hex - Hex codes, similar to color hexa but more user based

Make 8 Bit Art - very simple interface for making pixel art

Pixel Art - you can make your pixels explode to clear

Pixilart - pixel art with history

Piskelapp - pixel art with layers

Sketchpad - online sketchpad, simple layout but can do a lot

Zalgo Text - Make messy/scary looking text

Speech Bubble - great for edits, transparent or GIF

Make Banners - cool, but a little limited

Relaxing/Anxiety Relief:

The quiet place - A quiet place to relax (not working for me now, but there is an app somewhere!)

The Thoughts Room - Thinking things through

Do Nothing for 2 Minutes - Turn off all devices and just reflect

Jonah (interpersonal conflicts) - Choose and click responses to solve problems

Rainy Mood - Listen to the rain, you can even add music to it

Emergency Compliments - a simple and colorful website that gives you compliments using text

Nature Sounds - Sound mixer, choose from different themes, effects, and volumes

Automatic Flatterer  - Using popups it flatters you, usually ends after 5 popups

Coffitivity - Background sounds of a library/coffee place

Rain - Use your mouse to make it go from sunny to stormy (hover/scroll over)

Break something - Smash the screen (loud!!!)

Planetarium - look at the sky

Make Everything Ok - Press a button,everything is ok (kinda silly but nice)

Disgruntle Me - stop being disgruntled and look at these cute stuff!

100,000 Stars - star map, very cool, soothing music

Study Help:

Japanese Vocab - Most used Japanese vocab in a Google docs/spreadsheet

Learn Japanese Masterpost - a tumblr tag from a super helpful tumblr user

Kana Invaders - game with space theme to help you with Japanese Hiragana/Katakana

Manga/Anime - learn with Japanese used in manga and anime

Learn using Anime - chat with anime characters to learn Japanese

Erin’s Challenge - Learn Japanese with skits

Jisho - Japanese Dictionary

Japanese Keyboard - Type in Japanese

Learn to Code - Super cool! Learn CSS, HTML, and more!

CodinGames - let’s you improve your coding with games

Wolframalpha - input any math problem and it will work it out and give many answers!

Long Division - Self explanatory

GeoGebra - calculator, cool interface, helpful with algebra, geometry, probability, and more

Desmos - really good graphing calculator

Tiger Algebra - Really useful and has great examples and sources

Balance - For balancing chemical equations

3D Biology - a 3D model of the human body

3D Solar System - interactive, and a robot voice reading out info

Written? Kitten! - after a set amount of words it will show a cute kitten picture! (or dog/bunny!)

Other stuff?:

WTF should I do today - have a random generator dictate- suggest things to do

Supercook - recipes by what you have around

Seasonal Foods - find fresh produce that is in season in your area

Hackertype - type random stuff and it’ll look like you’re hacking

Book Suggestions - based on books you’ve read before (input books you like and it’ll suggest similar books)

Dialect Test - Answer some questions and this will guess where you’re from based on your dialect

Cute Sound Effects - Simple ones that come in mp3 format

My Body Gallery - input your body type to find other people like you

Anime Sound Effects - also simple sfx

Emoji Tracker - Live tracking of most used emojis + live tweets that use them (epilepsy warning)

Meitu Online Photoshop - it’s all in Chinese, but simple to navigate after awhile

SCM Music Player Custom Skins - a lot of choices to customize a music player

Sanger - pug licking screen

Audiosauna - online music making studio, saves as .song file

[backseatloversz]

misc todd and cameron friendship headcanons :-)

feat. misc general todd and cam hcs

first here r a couple ive posted before but just. rly love

they bond over loving bugs and lil creatures. they luv slowing down their friends and family to point out a rabbit across the road or frog on the ground :)

they start playing cards together during study hall or lunch or just whenever theyre bored in senior year. charlie gave cameron a deck but he forgot everything, luckily jeffery taught todd card games on rainy days and he still remembered a few :-)

considering this is a Neil Lives And Everyones Happy au, the other poets or sometimes just other classmates r like what are u doing!! can i play with u!!! i would rather do anything than homework!!! to which they say yes ofc

they stay friends past high school and college cause neither leave the east coast (state?), going into writing (todd) and education (cameron or both), so they still meet up every once in a while to talk about whatever adults talk about :)

neil lives au they talk abt their respective love lives (feat. anderperry obviously and chameron maybe. feat. gay cameron for sure).

canon compliant and bisexual todd au he gets a longterm girlfriend a couple years into college, and talks to cameron about her a lot

todd never told charlie he was mlm but charlie still seems surprised when cam asks if he knows about drew and mentions shes a woman :')

todd and drew only last a few years but they dont end on bad terms, todd just decides romantic relationships arent for him. him and cam talk abt this extensively cause idk theyre best friends now. best friends talk to each other about stuff

through parts of college and early adulthood theyre roommates bc a) theyre friends and have been roommates before so they already know it'll work together and b) they work/study in the same area so its convenient :)

ok back to high school. back to the angst realm. cameron can hear/see todd fighting back tears one time (or maybe vice versa idk) and he just says youre gonna get a headache. from holding it all in, you know? says something about how even if you dont care about repressing ur emotions u should at least care about your short term physical wellbeing. and choking down sobs fucking physically hurts man! so blah blah blah they talk a while longer and then whenever one of them seems emotional but cagey the other will say smth about a headache; not necessarily cause a headache is always what they'll get, it sorta just becomes their words for "dude dont repress your emotions its not good for you"

for the chameron crowd this may or may not have been a tactic charlie used to use on cameron (but never on himself) and when he gets expelled cameron has VERY bittersweet feelings towards him. something something you talked to me about emotions and sexuality but the last time we spoke it ended in you punching me. um

another lil hc ive mentioned before; when charlie gets expelled, he writes to all his friends and all his friends write to him. except for cameron, both still have too many pent up negative emotions to even think abt talking to the other again yet. but charlie never says anything when todd mentions how cameron's been doing

oh btw. maybe i shouldve put this one at the start. i hope no one minds my hc posts are so messy lol. todd is the only/first one to extend an olive branch to cameron post-canon. maybe people expected him to be the last cause he was grew to be close with neil so fast, but like. at the end of the day, he knew all the poets the same amount of time. obviously not each of them as well but he didnt have a lot of history with cameron, good or bad, that'd back up a hatred over betrayal or whatever. he was the first one to nod when cameron tentatively came to sit with them during lunch or study hall or whatever. very "havent we all been through enough already" attitude that the rest of the poets quickly get, too

whats something nicer. i wanna end this on a lighter note. time jump back to post-college years roommates. one day todd is like so do you ever wanna find someone to settle down with? and cams like havent i already? and todds heart just. melts. its not in a romantic sense but like. hasnt that been their goal since high school? breaking tradition

[janiedean]

oh i know c didn't believe it but i lowkey want her to see that he left her for brienne for the drama lol. but more than that i really do wanna see how the lsh showdown goes and how they proceed beyond that, if pod/hyle survive (i didnt think they would but pod survived the show so who knows). and then do they go back to riverrun, when and how do they meet up with sansa (i always thought LF would die in book 6 at the vale before sansa left for the north tbh but the show made me rethink and now im not sure?). anyway in that way they'd have to meet up towards the end of book 6 and that would probably also be the time arya's making her way back from braavos after taking needle back maybe? (i think i've read fanfics covering all this and they stumble upon arya somewhere along the way xD)

do they have oathsex in winds 👀 (there's definitely going to be lots of romanctic feelingssss) when and how soon xDDD do they head north now xD i have so many questionssss aaaaahhhhhh (although i'm honestly more forgiving of grrm these days, so i dont blame him at all esp given how i havent been productive AT ALL in the pandemic esp in the latter half and anyway his blog posts in the beginning of the year were so sad about so many of his friends passing away, it would take a toll on anyone :( )

(ngl grrm could release his notes in bullet points for the remaining books and say he's not writing anymore and i'd purchase that too :D i just wanna erase that fucked up excuse of a show from my brain esp the last 4 seasons)

I mean... I'll admit that seeing c. lose her shit realizing jaime left her for brienne would make my day but at this point I just... want team young griff to rhaenyra their way into KL and have her out of the way without jaime being involved so people stop harping they'll die together and honestly her dying without that acknowledgment would... kind of be poeticjusticeish and I honestly hope she sees melara laughing before she dies but fair enough I see your point uu

that said my money is on both pod and hyle surviving bc like... the batb will need hostages and if either were dead brienne would have let herself get hanged anyway so they need the leverage and at that point idt they're dead meat, pod because if he didn't die then then why would grrm do that and hyle bc I think jaime needs to get the jealous bust and no one else will tell him brienne was gonna die for him anyway so I'm of the idea that both live - for now anyway - and that the oathsex is happening in winds because the moment those two figure it out no way they can keep their respective clothes on

and then do they go back to riverrun, when and how do they meet up with sansa (i always thought LF would die in book 6 at the vale before sansa left for the north tbh but the show made me rethink and now im not sure?)

my theory for now is more like:

if sandor is at the quiet isle and they all collectively decide to look for sansa then they aren't going back to riverrun bc jaime would be defecting and he wouldn't go back for an army he didn't gaf about anyway also like... count that the blackfish is on the loose and jeynew is apparently in the wow prelude chapter or so grrm said so like whatever's up at riverrun is more with the remaining tullys + jeynew & the army having no commander imvho

also like.... the freys are obv set up to be northern conspiracy victims so that's probably gonna play out too and at this point I'm betting money brynden has a part in it because like as brienne is gonna off cat it's not gonna be stoneheart red-weddinging anyone also bc grrm doesn't thing personal revenge is a good thing

if I don't remember wrong brienne had come that close to figuring out the vale option so... if it's three of them at some point they'll manage that and then they go to the vale to get sansa and at that point they find her, swear fealty etc, lf gets moon-door-ed or smth and they grab the valean army to go to winterfell which was... what I think they stole in the show except it was never supposed to be just lf and sansa was never supposed to be in wf

and at that point they get there in time to help stannis take it bc like hell I think there's two sieges of winterfell in these books but if I was wrong and stannis failed then they'd be in time to help jon who at that point would have received robb's will

like I would like fandom (not talking to you ofc) in general to remember maege mormont and howland reed out of everyone have a fucking will signed by robb stark making jon legitimate which will conveniently be delivered after he dies and comes back to life so his vows don't hold him anymore

idk about arya's timing but could be doable

(also I should reread agot but I'm 99% sure at some point bran dreamed smth that was like... three people defending sansa from a mountain while she was trapped in a snow castle and while idk about frankengregor getting to the vale in timely fashion I always thought it was sandorjaimebrienne teaming up to do that but like I could remember wrong)

but I mean... more than all of that I'm eating my hat on the fact that brienne having jaime with her when she goes through his same ordeal ie having to kill your mad liege lady is going to be exactly what doesn't make her go in that path - bc at that point he did enough soul cleansing to know where he fucked up and he'll know she's better than succumbing to cynicism - and eventually gives her the force to deal with it and come out of it a better knight and stop giving a fuck about what others think of it and eventually at the end leads to her knighting and recognition that she is the best knighthood in westeros has to offer like that is happening regardless of anything else and I'm dying on that hill X°D and I'm saying it as someone who's written jaime knighting her since the year of the lord.... 2012 at least but I'm pretty sure that I put it in at least three fics and two of them were written before 2014 so when the show did it I just went like OH WELL AS THEY SHOULD so like it's bc I always thought he was going to do that T_T

[hunbomb]

roommate! jaemin

i hope u guys like this one! i do :) 

warning: not proofread LMAO

jaemin: a huge flirt

like we been knew sis okay bUt its not like it defines him ya kno??? like yes he is a flirt but its not like he does it purposely

however that doesn’t stop every single girl from liking him

except for u cause you’re ~not like other girls~

jk you are 

cause who wouldn’t find na jaemin attractive?? tf???

okay but like the dealio between you and jaemin is that you are best friends 

and you have a fat crush on him (u have since the beginning of highschool LOL)

luckily for you, although jaemin is a flirt, he isnt interested in any girls so he doesnt bring any to your dorm

and even if he did, he would tell u because it would be shitty not to 

anyway

so u met in grade nine and yalls friendship popped TF off right away like you joined nomins duo and made it a trio in the span of 4 months and everyone was like???? this mf got that close to them that fast???? mastery

jeno was like ur brother from another mother fr

you and him told eachother everything and sometimes he would tell you things he wouldnt even tell jaemin. like everyone has those people that although theyre close w, there are some things you’d never tell and that goes for jeno and jaemin

jaemin never told jeno he listens to taylor swift

and jeno never told jaemin that he watched all of my little pony friendship is magic on netflix

but since you and jeno shared some personal things w eachother, you obviously told him about your crush on jaemin

and since you had a crush on jaemin, you never got like super super close with him just cause ur feels got in the way 

mainly just you never got as close to jaemin as you did jeno

sure you were bffs, but it wasn’t on such an intimate level

cause everytime jaemin would look your way you’d be gasping for air

so timeskip to senior year

everything is great

your friendship is still strong af and you guys are all planning for post secondary

jaemin and you get into the same uni right.... and jeno gets into the one the town over so your friendship wont take that much damage

but!!! jaemin wants to room with you!!! and ur like!! fucufejdsk!!!

cause like ofc you want to who wouldnt????? but you have such a massisve crush on him you dont want it to get in the way of not only yours but also jaemins university experience

you say yes tho and next thing you know youre unpacking all your stuff

the dorm is kind of small like there isnt a lot of space,,,,, theres two bedrooms but the beds literally take out the whole room HAHHAHA and then there is a chill space with the kitchen connected and u and jaemin have to share a washroom LOL

“jaemin what the FUCK did you eat??? beans??? i bet it was beans this shit smells so bad i-”

“it really do be ya own friends sometimes” -jaemin 2020 :((((((

anyway so like university life is good you and jaemin invite jeno over every weekend for a sleepover and vice versa its so cute GAH

but like,,,, here’s where the drama comes in

one day you are facetiming jeno and youre telling him about how you really like jaemin and blah blah ya know the usual

and youre not really looking at the screen cause youre doing your homework and focusing on that but jeno sees in the back that jaemin has fully entered the room

and you dont notice cause hes silent and your still talking but jeno is trying to get your attention UDHSJIA

and when he does you see in your part of the screen jaemin just,,,, standing there

cue you ending the call with jeno SO FAST and turning around like oH i thought you had classes right now?

“.... they ended early”

“i see” ://////////

you like get up super fast and just walk around him and go into your roomm shutting the door 

poor jaemin is just like “what”

cause to be honest he never really considered this situation ever happening yah he thought you were prettier than most girls and he liked the way you were able to talk to people so easily but he never would have thought you harboured feelings for him

so he kind of just leaves it be cause he knows that you def dont want to talk about it and is willing to wait for you to be the one who brings it up

so time skip to dinner youre both just eating in silence but you dont like it,,,

“what i said was true” you say and jaemin looks up and he knows where this convo is going but he lets you speak

“i didnt ever plan on telling you because i really like our friendship but i guess i wasn’t careful enough”

your heart is beating hella fast but you try to look unbothered and its going pretty good until jaemin asks you something

“how long have you felt this way?”

OKAY like it shouldnt be a big deal to tell him bc you already exposed yourself but for some reason that question just hit you deep cause you realized that youve liked him for so long and he never felt the same ya know

“i dont know,,, since the start of highschool? when we became friends i always thought you were cute and it just turned into a full blown crush”

jaemin just sort of nods in response “oh okay”

so that night your just laying in your bed full of regrets

you know things are about to be super duper awkward between you and jaemin and you wish it didnt have to be like that

so over the next couple of weeks its more awkward than it has ever been before and the sleepovers with jeno seem so divided 

its either jeno and you or jeno and jaemin its never the three of you anymore :((((((

jaemin isn’t ignoring your feelings though, dont worry! hes just trying to sort his out

because your confession kind of opened his eyes

he doesnt want to force himself to like you but he cant help but admit that when he first heard you talking about your feelings a huge warmth spread through his chest and he may or may not have uncovered some feelings

these feelings were always there but he suppressed in grade nine cause he thought you’d never like him and you just wanted to stay friends

so he pushed them down and never thought about it again

but obviously that didnt happen because now youre on his mind 24/7 and he wishes that he could just talk to you but hes kind of nervous

so after taking advice from jeno he tries to talk to you more, like asking how your day went and starting up conversations

youre  kind of like “what u playing at son” but you leave it cause you know jaemin would never do you dirty like that

it stays this way for a while until one night theres a particularly bad thunderstorm and jaemin is scared of thunder

and so when youre just playing on your phone jaemin opens your door slightly and has this scared look on his face

and you know that jaemin is scared of thunder so you open your arms without any words being shared

a huge boom of thunder makes jaemin squeal and jump into your arms

and he gets comfy under the covers as youre holding him, no words shared between you two

he starts to feel much better and this sense of comfort washes over him like,,, youre his home

and as hes falling asleep he softly mutters

“im sorry it took me so long”

and youre just straight confused like what does that mean is he talking about his feelings or just the fact that yall havent had such an close encounter in a while 

the next morning you wake up and jaemins arms and you guys are facing eachother

and hes already awake so when you oepn your eyes you find him already looking at you

“thank you for last night, youre the best” he whispers and youre like all good fam i understand

but then he leans in closer and is like “i should have told you this so long ago, but i am in love with you”

your eyes widen and youre like wh AT the FUCJ your heart is beating at like 420 bpm and ur shooketh

he just smiles and pulls in you in closer and its just a super soft moment and no words have to be said

that night you guys are cuddling on the couch after dinner when jaemin just asks you be his gf

OF COURSE YOU SAY YES! you have been waiting for this moment for god knows how long

jeno is all like damn fina-fucking-ly i’ve been watching this romance play out for like 5 years! 

its super cute

its even better that you guys are roommates because youre already living together so you get to see eachother everyday

jaemins room as become a guest room for sorts as he now shares a bed with you

jenos happy af hes like YESSS I DONT NEED TO SLEEP WITH JAEMIN IN OUR SLEEPOVERS ANYMORE

jaemin: >:(((((( tf is that supposed to mean

you just laugh and youre like im not complaining hahaha and jaemins heart just stutters so bad 

he really does love you and he cant believe it took him so long to accept his feelings

and one night he tells you about how he pushed them down and youre like “exCUSE ME we could have been dating all this time u pussy”

sad jaemin :((((( 

anyway ya its so good its a win-win situation 

you get to room with the love of your life and its just magical there are so many soft moments between you two and just UGH relationship goals

i need me a jaemin

[seoafin]

jjk & tower of god chapter on the same day,,, i spent all of my brainjuice talking abt tog w some friends + working on my wip so this one might be incoherent LMAO but nsjdhfjd this my 2 cents for the chp (1) - 🐱

first of all, the zenins shld just eat shit 🥰 the bar is just nonexistant now 😭😭😭

also maki’s mother said sth that hits way too close to home for me too🥴

the maki & mai, megumi & tsumiki "make a place where they are happy” parallels...mai,, maki wanted a place where u'd be happy!!! 😭😭😭 good points abt any interesting nuances the original jpn might have had though

ALSO MUSCLE MAKI IS HERE

and lmao megumi's "ew no" face ,,, i didn't think he could make a face like that JDJJDJD ,, once again i think his outsider-insider status is interesting but the amount of ppl counting on him/leaning on him bc of strategic position is a lot. ig this is what kamo meant by supporting the 3 families,,,, gojou indeed is playing the long game. megumi in the meantime, very persistent in not getting more involved in clan politics, not using power that is offered to him, or leveraging it - in a way it is good, and it also makes sense with "stress is other ppl" but is interesting from a structural pov. megumi may not rly give a shit abt the rest of the jujutsu world. if the ppl close to him are affected, then he cares. otherwise, forget it.

also im interested in power implications here bcs it sound a little like there’s a slight split b/w leadership and everyday zenins and im curious what it's like if u have no connection to the top of the clan,, and again higher ups being unaffiliated with the 3 clans so they have to appeal to them. curious what other talents the gojou clan have and what they're known for bc clearly it's not just gojou, they still have power without him and still have a stake in the shifting power structure. kamo must be busy too...

MAKIIIIII ,,, honestly my heart hurts a little seeing her getting beat up in recent chapters. but i’m rly happy,, shes FINALLY getting the focus she deserves and i’m confident she will make a recovery and she IS in fact the one leading efforts on the zenin side. im rly hopeful she can take over the clan one day and no longer say she's not good enough

that stomach wound is bad news though so im wondering how she will come back from that,, that she didn't know her own father's abilities says a lot, too. i wonder if she could see the extension of his blade, or if she hasn't been able to see/understand many ppl abilities

im hopeful for next chp now. u can do it maki!!!!

flashing back on these bits, it makes more sense now why megumi wasn't melting down post-shibuya,, seems most information came to him in a sort of timely and calm way? also i rly have to wonder if gojou did not spend a decade plotting in front him bcs he's done it before,,,, like the whole clan head scene in megumi's middle school years....in a way i imagine he wouldve seen that gojou come out of the high school and watch him get more serious as he acquired even more skin in the game

all the time though i wonder abt megumi's tendency toward inertia and nonaction to things that would seemingly give him power and trying to understand it and that IS him being selfish and that IS,, imo the biggest indication of what he actually does or doesn't want. he wants it, he will act and work on it immediately himself. he doesn't like it? act like it doesn't exist. it make me want to shake him around like NO!! megumi pay attention!!! But his reaction to this clan stuff is a contrast to his behavior in recent chapters imo

and more mahjong references,,, between this and yuuji’s pachinko,, i wonder abt the undercurrent of gambling haha. a gamble for the shaman world and who will come out on top? a contrast to the flowy ocean imagery that connects shaman stuff out to the rest of the world

also this ,,,, there's that one jp tweet (i cant find it again😞) that talks about how toji, as the point of distortion, created megumi, who is currently playing a potential convergence/healing/uniting role (if he actually takes it on as a responsibility lol) and connects this back to the medicine buddha,,, whose mudra (hand sign) is used for chimera shadow garden. with the commentary abt ppl with heavenly restriction needing to know what to throw away in order to become strong or tap into their full strength and toji’s commentary at the end of fight with gojou,,  i actually always felt that toji died not having been entirely resolved with himself bc he talks abt going against the self that decided to forget abt self-respect, to live without thinking abt himself or others,,, in a way, living selfishly, for himself, by ignoring anything immediate and i think he succeeded for a while bc he didnt even remember megumi's name. he remembers it when he talks to getou abt him being thankful for toji not killing him bc of potential drawbacks

and at the very end he thinks of megumi again and that last act does think of someone else, like a "life before your eyes" moment where toji thinks about how the zenin's treatment of him led him there or how his return to shibuya ends with him remembering how he gave megumi back to the zenin,,, i think atm of his death he was starting to think he did want to care, in a different way, or that he needed a different paradigm. or,, maybe he was just starting to realize how far the zenin thinking had set into him

so we dont rly talk abt that being an enlightenment moment for toji but i kind of think it was. that megumi has the potential to become a pivotal piece as a legacy of distortion is interesting. i dont actually think toji set up everything intentionally bc he didnt know megumi's ability, and i dont think he wouldve thought that far. i think a lot of the heir and inheritance stuff is sth naobito set in after seeing megumi's development under gojou. it's clear now everyone has been keeping eyes on everyone else

at some point there's some interesting discussion to be had abt megumi and privilege - i'm surprised the canon characters dont hate him more for having stuff just fall into his lap, and so i liked that maki pointed this out that he could use this and he shld bc theres a frustration there - and yet at the same time megumi himself seemingly feels very little attachment to the zenin and the shaman world still. he just cares abt his little circle of people, and it's a very intentional choice, based on his good/bad ppl thing

u cant really affect the entire world, but u can assert urself on the environment around u and decide what u do and dont act on. this part of megumi is more teenage boy and kind of toji-like, i think,,, hence the emphasis on action

u express ur effect and existence through action, who u kill or who u save. toji having very little, while so much falls into megumi's lap while he doesn't want it, doesn't want to acknowledge it, likely doesn't want to take part in a system he doesn't like or, having been raised under gojou's wing, resents or finds corrupt or useless, or doesn't even think on bc he thinks its above his pay grade and gojou's there - this is also megumi's moment to solidify his own direction and commit to working in the system or out of it

the "not caring" is a defensive measure in a way too, i think. i dont think megumi is Big Good and wants to save everyone and everything and the world to be good and pure, i tend to think of him as a resigned chaotic neutral, who wishes he could be good orz

ANYWAY i think there's some interesting juxtapositions with the whole toji > megumi thing, that someone who is born without, restricted, births and creates someone full of blessings. its very shaman-like, action then reaction

AND i wish u luck on ur final paper (bless ur eyes to see incels bc i’ll just log off for the day when i saw one (1) of them on the net) AND DONT FORGET TO TAKE A REST,, the self care is much needed me thinks <333 (2) - 🐱

i love u 🥺🥺😭😭😭 you take care of yourself too!!!

also ur right...all this political intrigue im so curious i need to know how the jujutsu world is structured in terms of the higher ups and the clans. like i assumed that the three clan elders WERE to some extent also part of the higher ups???? but now it seems that the higher ups are a separate entity altogether, so like checks and balances i suppose. except both the higher ups and the clans are corrupt so no balance there 😭

the chapter implied the zenins are losing when it comes to the power struggle between the three clans. im interested. i want to see them all rot!!! like i also said though it’s going to be interesting to see the state of the kamo clan though, considering “noritoshi kamo.” like what do you even say to that???? im going to be surprised if it doesn’t affect their standing in the jujutsu world but then again the kamo clan IS one of the big three.

megumi really is a character that was blessed in all regards but like. doesn’t want anything to do with it LOL he really said ‘this is a pain no thanks.’ like gojo like megumi i suppose. i agree with u the whole toji and megumi set up....genius....i also love their juxtaposition. it’s so interesting and another source of irony.

[mousehole5000]

tgcf lb the fourth chapter 23 - 33

“hmmm looks like theres people in the fertilizer. i shan’t say a word” ok king of minding your business i guess

oh looks like it has a long tongue. oh i dont care for that at all

The build of their bodies were similar, and atop their shoulders, all of them carried cudgels that were densely covered in sharp wolf teeth. It created an illusion that a pack of wolves had transformed into people. attack of the furries? okay.

It was easy to comprehend after thinking about it. This person had been buried in the desert sand for fifty to sixty years. The flesh of his body had long been transformed into nutrients for those Kindred Moon Herbs. He had been entirely consumed until the only thing remaining was a mere skeleton. when this book isnt being very funny its being very grim!!! yikes!! also this was an episode of hannibal 

Ke Mo definitely had never heard someone ask to go first in this place. His eyes widened and looked like bells as he asked in astonishment, “You want to go first? For what reason??” Xie Lian naturally couldn’t reply and say it was because he wasn’t scared. Thus, he chose an answer that conformed with the norms of society. “General, these are merely innocent merchants just passing through. They even have a child amongst them.” - love watching the immortals trying to act like humans. would have been funny if xie lian had just hit em with “well i cant die so its chill”

That young man had crossed his arms. With an indifferent gaze, he thoughtfully sized up the deep Sinners’ Pit.　　 A bad premonition sprung up unbidden in Xie Lian’s heart. “San Lang?”　　 When he heard Xie Lian call him, San Lang turned his head. He smiled faintly and said, “Everything’s fine.” - edgy bastard lets go

What Ke Mo had been cursing was, “It’s this slut again!” - me when a corpse gets up and knocks all my soldiers into the sinner’s pit what a relatable reaction

oh now im switching translations here we go

does hua cheng just straight up transform in the darkness? edgy bastard. also  hualian having their little discussion while ke mo keeps trying to attack im still amused by these kinds of shenanigans

banyue guoshi ma’am your backstory.... rough. im on your side im sure you had your reasons

why do the soldiers keep her up near the top of the pit of death if she keeps getting up and knocking them all in? am i missing something? or are they just that dumb/dead fjdf;adjsf

fu yao: y’all alive? lmk. if not ill guess ill go back to the the merchants who totally promised to stay put in the circle. in case its not clear i do not care what happens to said merchants.

hua xie... of course thats the fucking name he picked. also looks like that wasnt so much a parallel being drawn between xie lian and the general as it was the same exact line

fasdlkfjsldfdsf god xie lian really has a hard time. you help some orphans, you try to keep people from dying, you try to save an orphan and you trip and get trampled but you cant die so you wake up in a river full of corpses and just float away. actually tbh i really appreciate him as an immortal character this is the shit i like to see. love xie lian ready to defend himself from the slander of being completely flattened. he was only mostly flattened

cunty vibes so strong all the wildlife in a 10 foot radius just chuck up the deuces and split

ITS RAINING SCORPION SNAKES. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PUSH A REVEAL. love that the umbrella is just always on hand

okay i guess fucking. everyone is here now why not. we’re all in a hole covered in scorpions and everyone knows each other but not everyone is admitting it but we know. we know. still not 100% sure what is going wrt pei su/pei ming/general pei/pei junior im a bit confused idk

okay i cant explain it but im attached to him now.

i like banyue. i feel like theres going to be a few background female characters i really like but im not so sure theyll get a lot of development. wind master come back you and your lady friend i would like to know more of you. anyway fuck this pei guy(s?). also they just put banyue in a jar? fair enough

is xie lian another mc who cant cook? so much so that everyone who knows him just leaves if he offers? love that for him

okay we’ve got ONE identity admitted. i liked how casual it was. i wonder if hc was waiting for this bc yeah he was not subtle i feel like he definitely wanted xie lian to know. if he didnt then bruh. get lessons in how to act human please

screaming. no words. cant wait to meet him. and hua cheng please keep up the good work. i love that now we’re just. sitting. chatting. chilling. okay.

yeah it makes sense that hes an immortal i think you would have to take this attitude after 800 years

this authors note about not writing ugly characters.... fjkdalfdjfa obviously i dont think holding beauty as such high standard is good it warps our views and values etc etc but also i would expect nothing less from a story like this. yes we know everyone is going to be beautiful theyre immortal and beautiful and young forever

lmao at exile being a temporary banishment for crimes.... yeah that sounds about right tbh. rich elite fuckers

oh good we haven’t forgotten about human face disease boy. im wondering when we’re going to find out how important he will be bc he clearly matters otherwise he’d have been resolved already also yeah how tf does he have that disease that sure sounds like an issue

i dont like him. pei ming i also wish you to die of syphilis. also of fucking COURSE xie lian’s cultivation method doesnt let him read dirty books

im just saving this because its funny

okay lang qianqiu i see you falling asleep at the meeting. i like you already but you are not above suspicion. actually you know what i suspect you already. crown prince of the kingdom that conquered xianle? idk if youre good or bad but you know something i learned this lesson from beloved morally grey huaisang

okay last comment for this post. mxtx’s little authors note about everyone being straight except for hualian but you can make up headcanons as long as you dont split hualian up fjdlfakdj. i just find it silly to write a story thats so clearly for an audience that understands shipping and ships often and say not to split a specific couple up but i mean to be fair i kind of get it that sentiment as an author and not wanting people to do certain things with your work, although again i think its silly

i guess the point of this note is just to be clear that no one else is going to get together so no one argues about it and i dont actually know much about how this was published but it seems like it was serialized so i can see why that would be an issue. personally i dont really care for knowing stuff like that ahead of time but i know a lot of people do and it seems to be thing in other cnovels ive seen to know whos going to get together as far as major characters are concerned i guess thats part of the draw and i guess i kind of get it

not sure how much other romance will be in this but also i think its kind of ridiculous to be like “these are the only two gay characters” in a cast that just keeps growing but whatever shes really leaving that work up to the readers to make it happen which they’ll do anyways so whatever. also there had to be at least one of the 33 officials who fought hua cheng who thought he was hot. theres no way that didnt happen

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[jinjina]

hello! i’m super happy to introduce the vocalist of tiger wedding, the always sweet soulful jina! this post is late because i work during major business hours on weekdays and i picked up a second job for the holidays (weep) but i will be checking my ims when i have time/wake up from post work naps!!! please read below for all information for jina! 

jina has a pretty uneventful life leading up to tiger wedding. her family was lower middle class and jina has always been pretty hardworking in what she does-though she at first never chose music except as something her family pushed so she could go to a good school. they wanted her to pick up a good job in a big corporation like her other brother and jina knew she just wasn’t meant for that?

when she was getting ready to leave high school and (maybe) enter college she began tutoring kids in piano and guitar to get a little money and did a lot of secret weekend busking. it was through that she met a producer who gave her a small job singing guide songs and thus her introduction to marathon!

she actually hid it from her parents for about a year until it was getting down to the wire where she realized she was seriously being considered for debut. they werent happy when she told them but they insisted if it was what she wanted they wouldnt interfere (but also not to come crying back to them later when things didnt work out)

lo and behold tiger wedding was a huge sucess! jina’s soulful voice both suited for ballads and midtempo rnb songs with her group members got her a lot of recognition, and though it took her some time to open up, shes become relatively good at being an “idol” of some sorts.

sometimes writes songs, loves to do lots of covers/reworks of older songs she grew up listening to 

she tends to be kinda weird about interacting with other people (mostly other ‘idol idols’) within the company because she finds what they have to deal and do absolutely c r a z y but once you pester her enough she’s pretty sweet 

her worst habit that managers get her for is taking the trainees out for meat or snacks at like 12am lmfao and she always tells them where to hide it OR she hides it for them

big bookworm. many books. all the time

is it peach flavored? she loves it

she really spends a lot of time inside or roaming the streets kind of incognito 

enjoys writing love songs for other girls that she hides askvdsksv she does like guys too but shes hella dramatic about it for no real reason

really encourages people to live their life to the fullest bc hey this thing called fame doesnt last forever

.possible plots!

a staff member or somebody (maybe now an idol) whos been there about the same amount of time as jina and who shes really close with!

producer friends who she sometimes sings guide songs for (please let her try and rap so she can look stupid)

would love a another muse who she writes music with but its usually really silly or very sweet that they joke about releasing (jokes but then it actually happens)

trainees who just use her for food tbh

somebody to roam the streets with!

giving somebody guitar or piano lessons!

remember the time you tried to teach jina to seriously dance? lmfao 

anyway!!! hit my ims or ask for my discord! i will return with another post for rikyung!

[nadiineross]

Print: “How do you 'accidentally' achieve immortality?"

note: abt ur prompts.. i ….actually was planning a fic abt immortality but i dont think itll be done for ages so i slammed this one out. i also made a few posts abt superhero aus btw :’). i watched hercules for the first time in like a decade bc of ur other prompt and wow…. hades is still so funny DSJFHSKH ok anyway i prolly wont write a lot in the coming month bc semesters starting next week BUT i can type out some headcanons for prompts u give me, if u guys r interested in that?

i didnt proofread this and i dont want to because i am Lazy anyway thank u sm for continuing to talk to me abt chlodine yrs down the road. pls feel free to send in ur chlodine headcanons or if u jus wanna scream abt them

Nadine’s been alive for a long time, and so nothing really surprises her anymore. But, then again, Chloe is always her exception.

//

They first meet in India, only a passing thing. Being alive for so long, well, it gets boring. Nadine, also, could never really handle being purposeless. She enjoys having goals and working hard to achieve them, and she definitely enjoys the brief period, afterwards, where she relishes in those achievements.

It was easier, before, to find purpose: fighting. There were a lot of wars and Nadine was good at it. She was, and is, by all accounts, remarkable. However, to preserve her anonymity, she allows herself to dissolve into the unknowns of history.

She has had many names, most of which she has since forgotten. But, her first, she will not forget: Nadine. It is that name she gives to Chloe, and it is the one Chloe knows her by.

At that time, in India, she had nothing to do. It seemed the age of fighting as she knew it was coming to a close, and she grew bored.

Of course, this wasn’t a new experience; Nadine can hardly find anything she has not experienced. Usually, she travelled. She’s been to most places, but they were always changing, and this was something she appreciated on a deep level.

India, she has not visited in almost four decades.

On her first night, she eats a feast on her own. The restaurant owners were impressed, to say the least.

It is routine, her travels. During the day, she sees the sights, explores the places that have changed the most and visits those that she loved the last time she was here. When nightfalls, again, she feasts. Sometimes, when she isn’t too tired, she’ll take someone to bed.

This, she does rarely. It is, after all, hard to find a woman interested in other women in this world. Harder, even, to find one who isn’t interested in a long term investment, since Nadine is not very interested in the part where she outlives everyone. It isn’t a pressing issue, though. She has needs, sure, but she is patient, and sex did not fall very high on her list of priorities.

Besides, she understands. The consequences of being a woman like her are grave and not a lot of people would want to risk their lives for a fling.

Chloe is only her second in India.

There is a river, a half day’s walk away from where she’s staying. It is her second to last night in India, and there aren’t a lot of things she is itching to see, so she decides to make the walk.

By the time she gets there, the sun is hanging low in the sky, not yet set, but almost. She’s sweating from the heat and the oppressive humidity characteristic of the Indian climate. So, naturally, she unbuttons the first few buttons of her shirt and leans over the edge to splash water over her face.

It is a relief on her skin, and she looks up to gasp out a breath when she sees her. Chloe, shameless creature that she is, watches her.

Nadine doesn’t know how she didn’t notice the woman lounging in the water before now. Bewildered, Nadine blinks at her and feels very bare, suddenly hyper-aware of the droplets running down her face and into her shirt.

“Hello,” Nadine finally says. She is good with languages—there isn’t a lot to do when you’ve been alive for a few centuries.

“Hey.” She swims over until Nadine can see her smirk with distinct clarity, until her bare shoulders come up, but does not go farther up the shore. “Not from around here?”

Nadine raises an eyebrow. Clearly not. “No,” she says.

“Huh. Chloe, nice to meet you,” says she, extending a wet hand from the water. Nadine has to slosh into the water to take it and give it a firm, short up-down shake.

It’s a strange name, given the context, and this whole thing takes her off guard. She stupidly blurts out: “Nadine.”

Chloe’s grin becomes wider. She doesn’t try to hide the way she eyes Nadine’s open shirt. Nadine isn’t dense, either, so she knows when there is an opportunity she could take, is she wanted.

She’s not sure yet.

“And you? Are you from around here?”

Humming noncommittally, Chloe stands, abruptly, to her full height and walks around Nadine to the shore. She is naked, and Nadine has to swallow a lump in her throat.

Nadine has seen a lot of women, and she can say with certainty that Chloe is one of the most beautiful she has seen. She tries not to stare and succeeds, given that she has excellent self-control. Though she will admit, Chloe certainly tested her in that moment.

“Where are you from?” Chloe asks as she picks up a shirt strewn across a rock and slips into it. Now, Nadine notices the pair of pants and shoes hidden behind the rock.

Nadine smiles, wryly, aware that she is giving more information than she is receiving. “Africa.”

Chloe doesn’t seem to take offence at her brusqueness. Just laughs. “Ah.” Then, because Chloe is so brave and so young, barely thirty by the looks of it, she stoops and holds up her pants, and asks, “Should I bother with these or are we going to address… what should I call it? The tension?”

Oh, how they address it.

After, as Chloe disappears into the trees on the other side of the river, Nadine realizes that she is entirely, profoundly, surprised.

//

Nadine has met many bold women; she can be one herself when she wants to be. Chloe, she never really forgets, but she is filed away into a tiny corner of her mind, fading away until Nadine never really thinks about it unless she is alone at a river and has run out of things to think about.

Besides, World War II has started, and she’s occupied with killing those Nazi bastards. She doesn’t enlist in any army—can’t exactly fly under the radar there—but she has connections and resources, and works perfectly well alone.

In the face of all this, Chloe is not forgotten, but she is not remembered.

And Nadine’s life goes on, and on, and on, as it is wont to do.

//

Nadine doesn’t know why she never dies. It just happened or, more precisely, it just never happened.

Her parents did. She never really knew her father, as her mother raised her, but she does know he died. Her mother, she held as she passed. 

Years later, people began to talk. Nadine turned thirty, and that was it.

She doesn’t know if she can die at all, but she isn’t interested in testing her theories. She has avoided fatal wounds for so long; she won’t stop now.

Sure, she has suffered and has felt like she might die, but she doesn’t think she wants to die. There are so many things she wants to know.

So, she decided, a century into her life, that she would not question it. She isn’t at all old enough to have been there for the Trojan War, but she does know not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

//

It is the 2000s and Nadine begins to feel a little existential. She will not fight in wars now, given the stakes and, especially, given her moral compass. Well, at least not official ones. She has accepted that she is a little bit of a vigilante, and she’s focusing on bettering her own home.

Always levelheaded, she never bites off more than she can chew. She only takes to the streets every few weeks. In the meantime, she decides to get into academia.

If she’s so keen on learning, why wouldn’t she go to school? Human achievement is impressive!

She has one PhD already and is working on her second. She has just started, meeting her advisor for only the third time, when she sees a flash of red in the hall, heading towards the History department.

It’s a woman with jet black hair, ponytail swinging. Before Nadine can think to squint, she’s rounded the corner and is gone.

Blinking, Nadine turns away and heads to the courtyard. She likes to sit on the grass and do her research there. Small pleasures.

It’s been an hour, maybe two, when a shadow casts over. Strangely, she feels her heart start to beat faster before she even looks up.

“Hello,” she says, throwing an arm over her forehead to shade herself from the afternoon sun.

Chloe in the flesh. She puts on the same old smirk and looks down at Nadine with her hands on her hips. “Hey, you.”

Nadine raises an eyebrow as she sits down and makes herself at home on Nadine’s picnic blanket, among her sea of books.

“Well, look at you.” Chloe keeps on grinning, shark-like. “You haven’t aged a day.”

“You’re too kind,” Nadine says, thinly. “And neither have you, by the looks of it.”

Dismissively, Chloe waves a hand and tosses her ponytail over her shoulder. “No need to flatter me, you’ve already gotten into my pants.”

“I haven’t forgotten.” Much, at least, she thinks. Then, wonders if, perhaps, she is dreaming.

“That’s nice.” Chloe leans closer, growing serious but retaining her persistent underlying curiosity. “Oh, Nadine, what are you?”

Nadine snorts. “Always so bold.”

She shrugs. “Places to be, things to know, people to do. I’m a busy girl.”

Like a shark, Nadine thinks again. She keeps her mouth shut for a few moments, just watching Chloe watching her. As Nadine recalls her memories of Chloe, she notes that Chloe mostly hasn’t changed. Finally, she leans back on an arm and says, “Looks to me like you have all the time in the world.”

“Hm.” Chloe lifts a hand, maybe to touch her arm, maybe to push her hair out of her face, maybe to cup her cheek. Nadine will never know. She tenses, instinctively swaying back a little. Chloe’s hand drops down, but she keeps on smiling. “You’re immortal, then. All the time in the world.”

Nadine doesn’t say anything, just waits for Chloe to draw her conclusions.

“How long have you… been like this?”

Nadine pretends to think. “About a century or five now. You?”

“Well, I was thirty-four when I met you,” Chloe wonders aloud, tilting her head as she does the math. At this, Nadine frowns and, upon seeing this, Chloe huffs a laugh. “Yes, actually thirty-four.”

That makes her roughly two centuries old. Nadine doesn’t know how to feel about this, about everything, about Chloe. She had been, to her knowledge, alone in this for three centuries. Never once had she met someone else like this, and she didn’t want to, she doesn’t think. She had always been slow to trust.

She never tried to think about this too hard; she doesn’t know how it works—is she contagious? But none of the other women turned immortal after going to bed with her. Still, she worries at her lip and examines Chloe.

“How?”

“How am I like this?”

She nods.

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “Quid pro quo.”

Nadine rolls her eyes. “I don’t know. I just never died.” She sighs, harshly, and closes the book in her lap with a full clap. “I don’t know.”

“That’s alright,” Chloe says, gently. This time, when she reaches out, to touch her wrist, Nadine lets her. Chloe looks down at the point of contact, seemingly charmed. Then, after a beat, meets Nadine’s eyes again and smiles. “Well, I don’t know how exactly it worked, but this was an accident.”

“…what?” Nadine scoffs. “How do you ‘accidentally’ achieve immortality?”

Chloe looks sheepish now. “I went into an ancient temple and mucked around, and maybe I broke something, and… well, here I am.”

Suddenly, struck by the urge to lie down for a decade or at least go somewhere more private for this discussion, Nadine shoves her books into her bag and stands. Chloe, startled, mirrors her movements and then stills as Nadine rolls up the blanket and easily hefts everything up.

“Uh, what’s going on?”

Nadine picks up her baseball cap and puts it on, and then sweeps an arm towards the paved path. “We’re going to my apartment.”

A little dumbly, Chloe follows along. “Who’s bold now?”

Nadine gives her a look, and Chloe just smiles, looking away with a shrug. They make the journey in silence, Nadine’s is a stubborn one, and Chloe’s obliging. When they reach the apartment, Nadine lets her in first and gestures to the couch. It’s not a very big apartment, but it’s comfortable and in an alright neighbourhood. 

After Nadine puts her bag away, she comes back to see Chloe leaning over the back of the couch to look out her window. She twists back around as Nadine sits.

“You alright?”

Nadine looks up at her, eyes hooded. “Ja.”

Chloe smiles, a kind one. She has such an expressive face. Nadine wants to run her hands over the dips and curves of it. Wants to feel a little more grounded in reality—is she really not dreaming?

The urge to just ask disappears in a moment as Nadine comes back to herself, feeling safer on her own turf.

“So, this is where you’re from.” It’s not a question, but Nadine nods anyway.

“Originally. I don’t remember exactly where but I grew up farther inland and then moved to the coast later before my mother passed.” Nadine rubs a hand at her temple. Tired. “They both died. I’m the only— I was the only one. For the longest time, I was the only one.”

Chloe shifts, an unidentifiable emotion drifting across her face. “Nadine.”

She sighs and says, “I don’t want your pity.”

“You don’t have it,” she says, not ungently. “It’s been a long time.”

For once, Nadine allows herself to give in. She leans over until she falls, turning her face to press her nose into the hard muscle of Chloe’s tensed thigh, just above the knee. She hugs her arms to her chest and counts her breaths. Chloe sighs, too, and puts her hand in Nadine’s hair.

Nadine’s back is to Chloe.

It’s been a long time.

//

So, this is how it happened.

She was abandoned by her mother and raised by a father who wanted a son. He loved her, regardless. He just taught her the ways of his trade.

Her childhood was spent scaling the shelves of libraries as he did his research and sitting uncomfortably still as he spoke to “experts” in their homes. When she was old enough, by his standards, he took her out to ancient ruins, and they explored.

It could be dangerous; she broke a few bones on these adventures. Most never healed properly, and so bumps and scars littered her body.

The worst, the one that almost killed her, occurred in the temple.

Her father passed a few years before, to disease. She carried on his work, suddenly alone. His life’s work: a crumbling ruin.

She had spent days scouting it out, hidden behind a waterfall, like in the legends. She was nervous. Afraid that her father’s work would amount to nothing, that the life she had led without him would’ve turned out to be a waste.

So, she spent days by the falls and walking along the river. It was there that she met Nadine.

She had thought Nadine was a figment of her imagination at first, peeking out from the top of the water. A beautiful, sweaty spirit of the wilds, dressed like an average person.

A blessing she received.

That night, she went in. There were traps, which she expected, and treasures, which she had desperately hoped for. In the centre, buried underneath layers of chambers, was the Tusk.

She got greedy.

Traps triggered—

The Tusk, she held to her chest—

She curled over, protecting it from falling rubble and—

The tip, sharp and shiny, punctured her middle. It was shallow, but still, she cried out and tripped, and the spear she landed on went too far in to be considered shallow.

She doesn’t remember the details; all she knows is that she came back to herself while crawling out the collapsing entrance, sticky with blood.

She hid the Tusk away, for later, and stumbled her way to the nearest town, broken spear sticking out from her ribs.

Half a year later, freshly healed and free from the doctor, she went back. The Tusk was still bloodied, and a gem from the tip of the Tusk had fallen out somewhere. At least, it made up for all her suffering in gold.

In the face of all that, Nadine was not forgotten, but she was not remembered.

//

Feeling awkward and uncomfortable, having been vulnerable for the first time in almost half a millennia, Nadine sits up and grimaces. Chloe opens her bleary eyes and stretches.

“What time’s it?”

Nadine could look at her watch, but she grabs hold of Chloe’s forearm. “Does it matter?”

Chloe looks down and frowns. “I suppose not. What’s happening?”

“Do you want to address the tension?”

Chloe’s muscles relax slowly. She kicks her sneakers off and, in one swift movement, shrugs Nadine’s hand off and settles into her lap. Her mouth descends onto Nadine’s.

This time is almost like the last, fast and sloppy. Except they do it three more times, at least, and afterwards Chloe settles in beside her and stays till morning.

//

Nadine also has many scars, and Chloe maps them all out just as Nadine does to her.

//

“So, am I the older woman or are you the older woman?”

Nadine bites into her skin, licking a soothing stripe along the scar tissue there.

Chloe groans and looks down. “Does that mean I should shut up?”

Nadine gives her an unimpressed look. “Yes.”

“Okay,” she breathes, hand flying to the back of Nadine’s head. “Whatever you say.”

//

South Africa is best experienced in the weeks after Summer has passed, in Chloe’s very vocal opinion, and maybe that’s why the days she spends holed up in Nadine’s apartment feels a little like paradise.

She is not the sentimental type, and Chloe even less so, but there is something to be said for attachments. She had forgotten.

Chloe even admits that she was only here because she saw Nadine’s picture and wanted to use Nadine for information on why she‘s the way she is. Nadine doesn’t take it too personally, because she would’ve done the same, probably.

It ends, of course, as all things do. Not permanently, but Chloe isn’t the type to stay still, and Nadine’s set her sights on finishing this damn degree.

They agree, in five years, they will return to the tree, the patch of grass, and try again.

//

Nadine feels like she has aged the five centuries she had powered through almost numbly in the span of those five years.

They kept in contact because neither of them is the type to make significant, corny gestures like that. Over text, Chloe echoes the sentiment.

For Nadine, it is as if Chloe had barged in, reminded Nadine that she was in control of the remote and that hitting the fast forward button on life wasn’t the only option.

//

“Why do you chase after violence?” came her voice, tinny over the phone. She was in Russia.

“Do I?”

Chloe hums. “All your wars, your crusades. You insist you don’t want to die and yet…”

Nadine raises her eyebrows and finishes typing out her sentence before pushing back on her desk chair. Her first instinct is to be defensive, but Chloe starts to hum tunelessly, and it reminds Nadine that not everything is a fight to be won and— “Ah.”

“Do you wanna talk about something else?” Chloe laughs, then, and jokes, “My abandonment issues? Inability to sit still? Maybe how I’m greedy and selfish?”

Nadine smiles softly. “It’s okay.” She clears her throat. “I think I just got scared of losing people and just, frankly, losing in general, with life and all. I took being independent to the next level. I forgot the value in doing things senselessly, and in a way that’s exactly what I did.”

“How do you mean?”

Nadine shrugs even though Chloe can’t see. “I don’t know why I’m immortal, and I didn’t want to know. What makes me deserving of eternal life and not anyone else? So, I thought only of what I would do with this and doing those things. I’m good at fighting. Why wouldn’t I fight? And I can’t die—there are causes I could give myself to.

“I mean, there were moments, in between, where my thought would wander, of course.” Nadine pauses, feeling nonsensical. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“That’s alright. I get it.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Anytime, love.” Another breathy chuckle. “Literally, anytime. From now until the rest of eternity.”

//

“Hello,” Nadine says when she feels a shadow loom over her.

There’s a rustling, and then a kiss to her cheek. “Hey there, sleeping beauty.”

It’s been five years.

Nadine opens an eye and sees Chloe peering down with her stupidly beautiful smile. Her fingers graze at Nadine’s cheek, featherlight, and Nadine’s touches over them. Warm.

“So weird how you haven’t aged a day.”

“Ja, I didn’t get a chance to develop stress wrinkles since you left.”

Head thrown back, wind blowing her hair aside, Chloe laughs. Nadine thinks there hasn’t ever been a surprise as nice as Chloe since the dawn of time.

Stooping over, Chloe kisses her.