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365daysofsasuhina · 5 years ago

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Thirty-Nine: File Folder ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

When his alarm sounds, blaring from the speaker of his phone, Sasuke gives a groan and rolls over. A hand fishes around for the device, managing (after several fumbles) to silence the damn thing.

Once his room is quiet again, he sighs and sinks back atop the mattress.

...it’s Tuesday. He has work today.

Ugh.

An arm slung over his eyes, he shifts it up to his brow, staring at his ceiling. Most of the room is dark save for a soft glow that peeks out from a tiny gap above his window’s blinds. The entire space looks blue. Mind oddly blank, he takes a minute or two to let his brain catch up, and then heaves himself up out of bed with a grunt.

Footsteps take him to the shower, which quickly fills with hot water. To this day, he doesn’t know how Itachi manages those cold ones. He’d sooner cut off his left hand. Whatever benefits the elder brother claims they have are not worth it. Within seven minutes he’s back out, toweling off and getting dressed. Lacing up his shoes, he abandons the apartment bedroom and heads instead into the belly of the flat. Breakfast is two hard boiled eggs and toast, all washed down with a cup of coffee. While he indulges in meals out fairly often, today just feels like a morning in kind of day.

Finally checking his phone, he notes the small nine-plus on his messages. Seems he was pretty popular after heading to bed last -

...oh.

Opening his messages, he can’t help a flinch. They’re all (but one) from Sakura. The extra is from his brother, reminding him of a meeting they have this afternoon with a client. The rest he builds up courage for before opening.

It’s a long tirade that bounces between anger, woe-is-me, accusations, pleads for pity...a typical Sakura exchange. Seems her being fired yesterday didn’t go over well...and she is, as he predicted, blaming him. Claiming it’s all an elaborate hoax to get her out of his hair.

...well, she’s half right. His father’s decision to remove her was a good segue into him telling her he really isn’t interested anymore. But it wasn’t him who suggested or thought up the move. That was entirely on Fugaku, but...good luck convincing her of that with her mind already made up for his guilt.

Heaving a heavy sigh, he decides to try and head off a reply now.

Sakura, it wasn’t my decision, it was my father’s. I was just as surprised as you were. But you’re right - I think this is as good a sign as any that we need to get some distance. Whatever that was between us...it’s been over for a while now. I have to get to work. For now, we both have some adjusting to do. Good luck.

Maybe a bit blunter than he meant it to sound, but...he’s rather sick of her attitude, anyway.

And all of this reminds him of what, instead, is waiting for him at work.

In the interim as Fugaku finds his younger son a new permanent secretary, Sasuke’s been assigned a temporary one: a girl from their billing department is filling in until a new hire is found. She’s only been there since yesterday, and admittedly Sasuke didn’t see much of her - she spent a great deal of time being walked through the process by Itachi’s assistant. Thankfully Sasuke’s day had been pretty light, and he hadn’t really needed her for anything.

...there’s just one problem.

She’s really cute.

And Fugaku had given him a lecture about office romances when he’d broken the news about Sakura’s being let go, citing his fallout with her as a small but real part of her being fired. But Sakura, to be fair, hadn’t really been much of anything except a casual, once-in-a-blue moon sort of deal. Her ‘distraction’ had been minimal at best, and it was far more her behavior that got her sacked. Sasuke’s attitude toward her making her sour had just been a chip off the iceberg.

Now she’s out of the picture, and Hinata - the girl from billing - will be there two weeks tops, according to his father. Then back to billing she’ll go, several floors down. And Sasuke’s new help, as Fugaku warned, will be someone he won’t be too keen on sleeping with, in hopes of curbing his tendency to make the office...tense.

Which, in his mind, isn’t wholly fair. Sakura was the one who made it such a big deal...and it was the only time it happened. It wasn’t like he had a list ten people long he’s messed around with! The way Fugaku spoke made it sound like a bad habit…

But now he’s got this to deal with. Hinata. Unlike Sakura, she’s been charming, sweet, and far more polite. As much as he hated to admit it...he was a bit smitten almost immediately. And he did not want to prove his father right. So, he’d holed himself up in his office, watching through the windows as she got mini lessons from the other secretary.

So...what to do. She won’t be in the department forever - and Fugaku had, even if he hadn’t been wholly serious, suggested that being that removed would make any possible relations more...excusable. Should things go south, they wouldn’t be forced into close quarters like he and Sakura had been.

But his pride also tells him it’s a dumb idea if only because he knows his father will give him shit about it.

Scowling to himself, Sasuke glances at his phone - he’d better get going, or he’s going to be late.

He can’t avoid her forever.

Thankfully it’s a short drive to the proper building, and then an elevator ride to the right floor. It’s already bustling - any day a new client comes to have talks, it’s all the executive department can talk about. Itachi’s already agreed to brief him on it - it’s rather last minute, arranged over the weekend and only confirmed yesterday morning.

...to his honest surprise, she’s already there.

Back to him, she’s fishing through a file cabinet by her desk. The top drawer is just a little too tall for her, stood on her tiptoes to peer into it. She’s got a pencil skirt, a dark purple in color that matches the jacket she has on. Dark leggings run all the way down to her shoes, which have just a hint of heel (and yet still not enough to see what she’s looking for). While it had been down yesterday, her hair is caught up in a neat bun this morning.

To his own aggravation, he finds himself subtly giving her backside a glance. He can’t really help himself - that skirt is just -

“Aha!”

Startled from his staring, Sasuke makes to appear as though he’s just approaching, watching as Hinata fetches a file folder before closing the drawer and smiling. “Find what you you were looking for?”

It’s her turn to jump a bit, not expecting him to be so close. “O-oh! Mr. - um...Sasuke! You got a flag from your brother asking you to look over some, um...some forms that pertain to your meeting this afternoon. I believe these are the c-correct ones.”

Head tilting in interest, he accepts the file and skims through it. “Seem to be. I’ll double check with him just to be sure. Thanks for digging them out.”

“Of course!”

Shutting the folder, he looks back up to her. “...seems you’re settling in okay. Anything giving you grief yet?”

“Not so far, no...a-any questions I’ve had, your brother’s assistant has been able to help me with! I think I have the hang of the b-basics. I’ve been trying not to bother her too much...I want to try to get the r-rest on my own. Unless, um...unless something pressing comes up, of course. I don’t want to waste any of your time -”

“It’s fine. It’s pretty rare anything has less than a day’s turnaround. And if they do, you’ll know, and she can help you.”

A light shade of flustered pink alights her cheeks, and he inwardly curses. “Ah...all right. Well, um...I’ll let you get to it! Your brother wanted you to l-look over those forms sometime before this afternoon, so...I don’t want to distract you.”

“All right - I’ll page you if anything else comes up.”

“Got it!”

Taking the file with him, he closes the door to his office and sets it on his desk, standing for a moment with a heavy sigh.

...this isn’t going well. It isn’t going well at all. Why did it have to be her out of anyone in billing? She’s so damn distracting! And not in bad ways, he just...really doesn’t need this right now. Any other time…

A hand reaches and eases at the tension in his brow. Well...best he start going over the paperwork. He rarely has to do much in meetings like this - mostly just pay attention and help make sure nothing is awry - another pair of eyes and ears. But Itachi seems a bit more serious about this one than usual, so...best he put in the effort.

And maybe it’ll help get other things off his mind...

.oOo.

(This is a sequel to day 262!) The sequel no one saw coming xD I know continuing this one - especially almost 100 days later - is SUPER random, but I couldn't NOT do something office related with a prompt like 'file folder' lol - and I like this concept anyway =w= Poor Sasuke. He goes from a not-great hookup with one secretary (and getting in trouble for it) to having one even CUTER and more appealing show up! He just can't catch a break! Well...maybe once she goes back to billing, he can give this a shot. Otherwise, his pride (and his dad xD) won't stand for it. Anywho, I'm still UBER behind, like...17? 18 days? I can't math, but uh...a lot. idk if I'll really have time to do much catching up before the end of the year, but obviously at least SOME of it will spill over into 2020. Whoops? Can't really be helped though, life has just been too much to keep up here like I wanted, but...I won't get too much into that. This was Dec 5's prompt, and uh...well, it's 3am, so it's technically the 23 here, so...yeah, I'm very behind :'D But I'll finish up whenever I can - just wanted to reiterate that, aha~ But for now, it's late, as always...I need to sleep. Thanks for reading!

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #best years of your life [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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theherothechampiontheinquisitor · 5 years ago

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10 Fanfic Questions

Ten fanfic questions

I was tagged by @woodelf68

—–

1. what’s your favourite genre to write?

ANGST. lol My favorite to read too. I’m just dramatic.

2. do you pull inspiration from real-life, or do you pull things from other books/fanfiction you’ve read?

My answer is very similar to @woodelf68. I will literally devour an entire fandoms fics so I can get a gauge on what people like, trends, characterizations,pairings etc and sometimes pull story inspiration from there or my own takes on a scene. Sometimes I use real life too, particularly if I write about kids, I’m probably dropping my own experience with my kiddos there.

3. do you tend to write one-shots, short stories, or longer things?

I thought I only did one-shots for the most part but now i’m 100k and 17 chapters deep into one of my stories so who knows. lol

4. do you prefer to write description or dialogue?

Dialogue!!! So much better at that than the in between.

5. favourite fic/book of all time?

I could never pick a favorite fic, I have just read too many. I have over 1000 bookmarked on AO3. Favorite book though is “Gone With The Wind”

6. favourite trope?

So Many. Fake Dating and whoops now we’re in love, There Was Only ONE BED, Teach/Student within reason or in Love with my kids teacher type. I could go one forever.

7. are you the kind of person to work on more than one WIP?

I have at least 10 half finished docs and 2 multi-chapters that I am actively writing for.

8. how long have you been writing for?

I first got the bug when I was 8 and read my friend Jamie’s story about everyone in the school turning into werewolves. lol But my Mom really helped when I was younger and telling her about how I wished one show or another would turn out and she was like, “Well, why don’t you write your own story where that happened instead?” My Mom was eventually my first beta reader guys. <3

9. do you tend to write more during the morning, afternoon, or evening?

I write best at night because the kids are in bed but I write any time I can.

10. do you prefer to post and update your WIP chapter by chapter, or do you prefer to wait until your WIP is 100% finished before sharing it?

Ideally, I would wait until it was completed. However, I am weak and need validation so I post as I go. It has worked out well so far. I’ve had a new chapter out every monday/tuesday-ish except for like twice, since December ‘19. It’s motivating to have a deadline. Otherwise I might lose interest or just not write as often.

I tag @takadasaiko and any writers that are following me. I really don’t know anymore haha.

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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Okay, I knew Alistair the Dream-Keeper wasn’t the first time I’d written the idea of magically weaponized dreams, so I went hunting through old email accounts and found a whole fucking manuscript I wrote like, twelve years ago and totally forgot about. WHOOPS. (This happens with me more often than you’d think actually possible). I’m only a third of the way through my re-read of it, but it holds up surprisingly well IMO, I’m pretty pleased. I can actually do something with this, I think.

Course, it was apparently written back during my whole “every thing must be hetero otherwise there will be no publishing” period, before the beginning of my personal Age of LOL Nah, Fuck That, Everything Must Be Gay. So, first things first, Jez definitely needs a girlfriend, and also a different name. I can’t believe I named her Jez, like, wow, I was really trying to get YA Bingo, wasn’t I? In my defense, this was when I was twenty-three. Also, this first chapter here has a character named Scott and this was before Teen Wolf even premiered, so apparently I just like the name Scott? Huh. Did not know.

BURNING DAYLIGHT

Jez O’Neill knows she has three years, two months, and sixteen days to live.

She’s had visions for as long as she can remember. She knows they’re never wrong. And when the boy her visions say will someday kill her comes into her life, she knows to stay far away.

But somehow he gets close anyways. Because Nathan is perfect. He’s handsome, he’s charming, he’s utterly, unbearably sweet. And when he learns of Jez’s visions, he promises to cheat Death for her. An interest in New Age turns into an obsession with the occult, and that leads to tiny cracks in the walls of the world, where strange and untrustworthy spirits wait to barter with anyone desperate enough to try.

Magic, however, always comes with a price. The higher the reward you seek, the more you can expect to pay, and the spell Nathan thinks will change their destiny instead puts them on a collision course with Fate. It changes him, twists him in mind and soul, transforming the boy Jez loves into the madman who will someday take her life.

With only three years left until the day she now knows she can’t avoid, Jez discovers she and Nathan share the same zipcode again as he sows death and destruction in the streets of LA. But rather than flee for another city, Jez pits herself against the monster she once loved, the monster she helped create, determined to make sure no one else gets caught in the crossfire of their attempt to cheat their fates.

Call it redemption if you want. Jez calls it Tuesday.

Chapter 1

Dreams are doorways if you have the right key.

That’s why I’ve wasted a perfectly good Sunday night perched on the edge of Scott Kinley’s desk. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and I’m sure I look like a gargoyle in the pitch dark of the two o’clock hour, but every chair in his bedroom is covered in dirty teenage boy laundry. I’ll stick with my perch, thanks.

I kick my legs out and arch my spine, stretching my arms over my head with fingers laced together. Cramped and aching muscles voice their protest. Something cracks in my neck when I roll my head back. Meanwhile, Scott Kinley snores contentedly in his sleep in the bed across the room. I shoot him a glare that’s best described as withering.

Spears of pale moonlight slip through the slatted blinds covering the window above his bed. They stab the length of his body, highlighting a strong jawline and tousled blond hair, not to mention a chest and set of abs that frankly, I just find obnoxious on a fellow teenager. It’s L.A. in early September – code for unbearably hot – and he’s sleeping with the bare minimum of sheets, a loose span of cotton that’s only covering him up to his waist. I’d enjoy the cheap thrill more if it didn’t make me feel like such a perv.

After all, I’m a total stranger who broke into his house and has spent the last four hours going through his things and watching him sleep. It’s kinda hard to feel good about that. In my defense, I’m only here to save his life from a creepy magical serial killer. Course, I have strong doubts that would hold up in a court of law should he wake up and have me arrested for breaking and entering. But I still feel it’s worth mentioning.

A yawn and a glance at his alarm clock confirm that it’s 2:07 am and I have no life. I lean back on the desk and rifle through his homework some more as I go back to invading his privacy. My only defense here is I’m really bored.

His handwriting’s slightly more legible than your average garden-variety chicken scratch, but I’m still not one hundred percent his name’s Scott Kinley. The Scott part is clear, but the ‘I’ in what I think is Kinley could be a really jacked up ‘o’ I guess. Whatever. It’s a pre-calculus assignment, and the last yearbook on his bookshelf is from his sophomore year, so I’m guessing he’s a junior like me. Or like I would be, if I still bothered going to school. Hmm. Eleventh grade and already in precalc? Someone’s a smarty-pants. Interesting.

A row of trophies and a couple of team photos declare him a water polo jock, and not too shabby of one according to this MVP title. Explains the abs. I roll my eyes around the rest of the room. Small TV so old it has a VCR player built into it. An even older Sega Genesis console is hooked up to it, so either Scott’s big on nostalgia or his family’s not big on luxuries. There’s a couple of movie posters tacked to the wall, but the puddle of light leaking across the floor doesn’t reach far enough for me to make out any details. Then a freestanding bookcase, a good five shelves high, filled with actual books. Above it is a college pennant with a bear on it – I think that’s Cal Berkeley, right? Possible destination, I’m guessing….

God. And he was in bed by ten. Smart, good-looking, athletic and ambitious. Did his parents just win the baby lottery, or if I go down the hall will I find the altar they used to bargain with the Devil?

Not that it matters. I stretch my legs out again and dip my toes into the pool of moonbeams, watching them spill across my feet when I wiggle. It’s only been six months since my last boyfriend went all dark side on me and turned into a spell-wielding slaughterhouse. I’m kind of not dating right now.

So it’s only natural my visions would lead me to the most eligible teen bachelor in Los Angeles – I cast another quick look around the desk for the requisite ‘me and my girlfriend’ photo – nope, most eligible teen bachelor in Los Angeles. Ugh. It’s like announcing your diet and inheriting a pastry shop the next day. I feel a sudden urge to grab one of his dirty shirts off the floor just to make sure his one human flaw is real and not an illusion.

Wow. I can’t believe I just thought that. Apparently sleep deprivation makes me weird. Besides, there’s no way that smell could be imaginary.

I throw another withering glare in Scott’s direction. It’s his fault I’m a weird, sleep-deprived pervert in his stinky bedroom. My baleful stare bakes the air above his bed. It bends and twists like a summer heat wave on asphalt. Wait. That’s not right.

I shake my head, peering through the fog that shrouds my tired mind. Somewhere in my snooping I failed to notice Scott’s happy snores had turned into frantic whimpers. He’s writhing on his bed; sweat beads all over his restless body, glistening like fragile pearls in the faint light. The room is abruptly a sauna. Heat climbs the walls and steam mists the glass of the picture frames.

“Shit,” I whisper, and I’m in motion, leaping off the desk into a crouch. I dip my hand into my hoodie and whip out my knife, steel slicing moonbeams to ribbons as the blade springs free. A low keening shreds the silence, hoarse spectral shouts as faces flicker through the knife, reflected in the steel. I cross the room in three steps. Scott cries out. His fingers scratch at the air like crooked claws.

Somewhere a door opens, and something steps through. Between the space of one second and the next, a heavy silhouette takes shape on this side of the dream.

I slam into the figure with all my weight, blade aimed for the midsection where I’m hoping vital organs will be. The knife sinks in too easily. The sandman-born beastie is still in that transitive state where its dream wrought form has yet to shift all the way down the spectrum to vulnerable flesh. Then my knife catches and scrapes against bone. The nightmare screams as it sinks its roots into our reality and feels pain for the first time.

It’s tougher to pull the blade free, but I’m stronger than any normal seventeen year old girl has a right to be. More specifically, as long as I’m wielding that knife I’m as strong as all the monsters it’s killed combined. And I’ve racked up a decent body count. Blood and bile sprays in slow motion, a cresting wave of black tar. A few drops land on my arm. There’s a hissing sound and I feel like I’m on fire. I grit my teeth and swing again. It dodges and I miss. We both regroup, and I get my first good look at it.

Damn. Mr. Perfect Teen USA has one hell of a fucked up subconscious. I’m just saying.

The nightmare swallows what dim light comes near it, refusing to be illuminated. It’s thick, ridged with protrusions of bone and slick scales that shimmer with their own dark radiance. A trunk-like torso gives way to stocky legs. At certain angles they seem to merge into a single column similar to a snake. It has four arms, except for when it has six – and then two and then twelve and then they’re not arms at all, but tentacles. The head is a gaping chasm of teeth and forked tongue surrounded by a lion’s mane of mottled skin. It’s dizzying and hard to look at. Confusing and chaotic. The only constant is its ugliness.

I charge at it, because I’m just that dumb. Hey, only the good die young.

It dips to the side, cobra-quick, and its tail snaps out like the crack of a whip. I take the hit square in my ribs and I’m lifted off my feet, flying back across the room. My breath flees from my lungs, my head slams back into a wall. I bite my tongue and taste copper.

“Rude,” I gasp.

Scrambling up to snatch my knife from where I dropped it mid-flight, I steal strength from its macabre magic. Even still, regaining my feet takes effort and time I don’t have to spare. The nightmare’s turned its attention back to Scott. He’s finally awake and sitting up his bed. Pale, frightened, and totally out of his league. Considering we were dealing with his worst nightmare in every literal sense of the word, I cut him some slack. I’m a good person.

I roll forward and rake my cursed blade along the creature’s side on my way. It rears and screams again. Dimly I hear footsteps and distant shouting.

“What the hell is that thing?” Scott asks, eyes locked on the beastie like a man entranced. Oh good, he can talk. I was starting to wonder. I duck around the nightmare and stick myself in between it and him.

“Don’t ask me. It’s your childhood trauma,” I say, hefting my knife and gauging distance. “Now shut up, don’t die, and for god’s sake put on some pants.”

I lunge and bury my knife in the thing’s throat. I’m liking my odds less and less when it still finds the strength to knock my grip loose and drop me on my ass. More blood drips down on me, igniting nerve endings everywhere it touches my skin. Let’s recap. I have spunk, pizzazz, seven spells and a cursed knife on my side. It has burning blood, a build like a freight train, and claws and fangs that seem to multiply every time I look at it. It leans forward and roars its hostility right in my face.

Also, it has halitosis.

A swipe of its many tentacle-arms knocks me back and to the side again. I land on the floor, staring up at the bookshelf. It’s tricky reading the titles from my upside-down vantage point, but I hazily make out the collected works of one H.P. Lovecraft. That explains a lot.

“You know, there are worse things in the world than being a cliché,” I complain, glowering over my shoulder at Scott. He has the decency to look ashamed, over where he’s huddled on the other side of the desk. Course, I’m sure he has no idea what he’s ashamed of, but my tone conveys the point rather well, I think. “Seriously. The dumb jock thing. Just give it a try.”

Mano a mano isn’t working out too well for me so I switch tactics. I toss a quick ‘Hail Mary’ skyward, kick off my shoes and chant the most powerful – and dangerous – of my seven spells. It’s a nasty little sucker I bartered for in the second sphere, the Circle of Fire. I rattle off short, harsh syllables that climb reluctantly from the base of my throat, guttural utterances that were never meant to be made by a human voice. I dip my fingers in moonlight and etch glowing hieroglyphics in the air – they hang there for a moment, sharply luminescent in the seconds before they fade to black.

Staccato snaps and pops ring out. The alarm clock short circuits. Streetlights flicker and die. Every electronic in a fifty meter radius develops a sudden terminal illness and the air feels flooded. Thick and heavy with static as thousands of wayward electrical impulses conduct themselves through the atmosphere to me. I dig my toes into the heavy carpet and feel the hair on my head stand on end. Then I’m running, my nervous system supercharged with too much speed and power to contain long. I duck past the nightmare’s swinging arms – it might as well be lumbering at tortoise speed – and plant a single palm flat on its back.

My touch hits it like a thunderbolt, lightning barreling down the synapses in my arm and ripping into it with hurricane fury. It squeals and goes airborne, crashing into the desk and reducing it to kindling. Scott falls back, mouth open, and smoke wisps up from the creature’s motionless body.

For a second, I dare to hope it’s dead. It would be really awesome for me if it were. That was my most powerful offensive spell and using it comes with a one in ten chance of killing the spellcaster. So, you know. I’d really like to not have to use it again, please.

The nightmare heaves itself to its feet-tail, sending spears of desk turned firewood flying about the room. Some of the shrapnel heads my way and I cover my eyes. Splinters gouge at my palms. I peek past my fingers, and in a blur of motion the creature crosses the room and throws itself through the window. It rips through the blinds and shards of glass fountain into the hot summer night. The darkness outside swallows it whole.

“I hate you,” I casually inform the universe.

I pick past debris and make for the window. Or what’s left of it anyways. The house is on a hill, high enough elevation that glass from the window is still showering to the ground below. Chiming, delicate drops of crystal rain. City lights gleam from one horizon to the next. A pitch-black shadow makes its way across distant rooftops, dark even against the darkness, like a spreading oil stain spilling towards the downtown metropolis. Lovely.

“What the hell is going on?” Scott finally finds his voice again, but I have no time to soothe his shattered nerves or offer an introductory course on Things That Go Bump in the Night 101. I run my hands through my frizzy, static-damaged hair.

“That was disgusting, you need therapy, and the pants thing was not a suggestion,” I inform him, bending to retrieve my knife. Scott flushes and grabs the sheet off the bed. He doesn’t even try and peek at my ass. A piece of the Scott Kinley puzzle clicks into place, and I feel a tiny bit better.

“Hey, quick question. Are you gay?”

His jaw drops, but he recovers fairly quickly. “What – how did you – I mean, why?”

I shrug. “No reason. Just won a bet with myself is all.”

Hey, it’s the little things in life. I turn back to the window and track the nightmare’s course. Picking a rooftop a few buildings ahead of it, I prick my thumb and whisper a spell from the seventh sphere, the Celestial Circle. I sketch bloody sigils in the moonbeams cascading through the open window. They turn pale and faint and I grab their remnants like door handles. The silver light parts, a gauzy curtain opening on a window to a distant rooftop far below.

I cast a sigh at the bewildered boy behind me and step through. It’s probably for the best. Like I said, I’m kinda not dating right now anyways.

The curtain falls shut behind me and I resume my hunt.

#Burning Daylight #kalen writes things sometimes

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jawnwicks · 5 years ago

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lemme tell yall about the Worst sex i had this weekend and why you should avoid casual sex if u are like me and mainly get turnt on by being mentally rawed

so basically, the guy was easily in his 50s. which i mean, fine, no problem (have you Seen my blog?) but like i wouldn’t say he was SUPER attractive. just kind of attractive in that way that happens when someone is being kinda smooth around you and you’re having a good time that night.

anyway but LOL the first moment he kissed me my brain was literally like “hm…… no.” L O L but uh. here’s the confession. I was too fucking horny not to carry on anyway bc i been sufferin mightily for uh, a while now. and that’s just what happens in your late twenties when you ain’t getting some, kids. and when you kinda desperately want some.

so anyhow we like kicked our way into one of the rooms which was like an office (did i mention this was at a bdsm club? no??? it was. i had better sex while i was being whipped and burned. except they didn’t have sex with me. which im STILL so bummed about. why no touch :( ANYWAY. it was more attractive than the actual sex, is what im saying) and im on this fuckin desk.

and like whats kinda cute is all the adult fumbling of “can’t get me fuckin boots off”, “how the fuck do these pants work”, “where’s the shitting jar of condoms” and more endless jokes. which was actually rather endearing the way we both. stopped to laugh about that.

but anyway the rest of the damn time it was just him practically fuckin munching on my damn clit and me being like jesus h christ my man you have No subtlety. and like the LACKINGEST of LACKING FOREPLAY before whoops we’re in

and again, not that i’ve told you but i have Trouble with easing up when vag penetration is happening because like. fucking trauma and shit. plus gender. anyway so like, it hurt is what im tryna say. So im doing a combination of rolling my eyes and laughing quietly on the desk while he tries (and fails) to get his rocks off

and like for FUCK’S SAKE im just like, here gimme. let me try jacking you off you idiot. and it turns out eli’s internet research experience has actually proven one thing right and that is that the men Love a good hard chokehold on their dicks. im…. Satisfied to find out that was right.

anyhow eventually he finally came after i sort of did a couple full body shivers because my poor wee dick was SO overstimulated in Completely the wrong way so like “”“”“”“”“came”“”“”“”“”“” obviously. and then finally he did. And the worst part was that i remembered i hate the smell of condoms AND my doms had gone and fuckin left while i’d been horndogging it with mr not so attractive.

and so i went and sat on a sofa and tried not to make moon eyes at my friends LOL

is it tuesday?? nope. are u getting this tmi??? absolutely.

god i just fuckin. Wish i could get the slow, teasing, monstrously mean fuck that i deserve. u know what i mean? where the flippin shit is that.

brain this is a horny sexy post imma kill you if you can’t for ONE minute stop tryin to feel an emotion

#ppl from uni don't read this #this is probly a post i should delete in the morning #tumblr stop taking the read mores out my posts challenge #pls mentally raw me more

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venatohru · 7 years ago

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Thank you to my salt wife @chupacabrasmustdie for the tag ;)

Under the cut because it’s kinda looong, but without further ado:

Are you named after anyone? I am the first of my name. Or, if I’m not being so grand: nope.

When was the last time you cried? Tuesday (I was having a Bad Time and then I watched the episode of Downton Abbey where Sibyl dies, whoops)

Do you like your handwriting? Well enough, though I wish I could write faster!

What’s your favorite lunchmeat? I don’t eat meat nowadays, and I’ve never eaten a lot of it, but I guess I used to enjoy good quality ham sandwiches?

Do you have kids? Nope.

if you were a different person, would you be friends with you? Haha, depends what the “different person” was like I suppose. Maybe. I don’t think I’m The Worst, but it’d depend if we had anything in common.

Do you use sarcasm? Who, me?

Do you still have your tonsils Unfortunately D:

Would you bungee jump? Nope.

What’s your favorite cereal? I like granola, with fruit or nuts. Both if I’m feeling fancy.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not usually, with the exception being my brogues because otherwise they won’t come off lol

Do you think you are a strong person? Not especially, but I don’t think I’m weak either.

What’s your favorite ice cream? Mint chocolate chip!

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Usually their expressions/demeanour, unless there’s something really distinctive about their appearance I suppose?

What’s your least favorite physical thing about yourself? My skin. My biggest organ. Nice one, me, haha

What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Cream and burgundy PJs and the floofiest black socks (no shoes)

What are you listening to right now?

I've never seen a night so long When time goes crawling by The moon just went behind a cloud To hide it's face and cry

if you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red

Favorite smell? It’s hard to pick one, but let’s go with Parma Violets

Who was the last person you talked on the phone with? My mum

Favorite sport to watch? I don’t really watch much sports, but I like watching figure skating

Hair color? Pastel pink atm, with a bit of dark brown peeking through (hello undercut :3)

Eye color? Blue

Do you wear contacts? Nope

Favorite food? Mmm...again, hard to pick just one but we’ll go with PIZZA

Scary movie or comedy? Comedy, though I’m partial to the odd horror movie once in a while.

Last movie you watched? Gosh, I’m not sure. It’s been a good while since I watched a movie. Maybe Book of Life?

What color shirt are you wearing? Black, white, yellow and red...it’s a Jurassic Park tee lol

Summer or winter? Winter!

Hugs or kisses? Both! But especially hugs :3

Book you’re currently reading? The Night Circus (Erin Morgenstern)

Who do you miss right now? A couple of friends, since I moved to a new city recently. But we’re still in touch, and one still lives fairly near.

What’s on your mouse pad? I don’t have one!

What’s the last tv program you watched? Downton Abbey, god help us all.

What’s the best sound? That sound that No Face from Spirited Away makes, partly because someone I know used to have a cat that did that exact same noise, instead of meowing. It was adorable.

Rolling Stones or the Beatles? The Beatles.

What’s the furthest you’ve ever traveled? Either Germany or Switzerland?

Do you have a special talent? Bullshitting Academic writing

Where were you born? A little northern town lol

Tagging: @goodbibarbarella, @solas-you-nerd, @dreadbythesea, @black-rose4, @scribbleymark, @bugsieplusone if you’re feeling it, and anyone else who wants to I guess!

#about tohru #memelicious #ask meme #taggity tag

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two-friends-read-hp · 5 years ago

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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: The Unforgivable Curses

Did Neville melt his sixth cauldron that year? Or just in total? Six cauldrons in four years isn’t too bad

Oh oh I think this is the chapter that’s one of my favourites, not the last one

Gee, I wonder what caused Professor Snape to attain new levels of vindictiveness over the summer

Good God he had to disembowel horned toads???? Poor Neville

Hmm… wonder why Snape’s wary of Moody

Why is Hermione going to the library so much?

Oh yeah because of the house-elves ok

Oof, bet they’re gonna re-think sitting right in the front at the teacher’s desk soon

Must be fun to have your eyes move independently of each other… like here for instance, he can check names off the list and he can make sure every person is actually there in the classroom

Wow, Professor Lupin actually sent him a letter about the stuff they’ve covered, he had to have been the most thorough teacher... We’ll miss you Remus

Lol, Moody knows very well about the cursed DADA position

Let’s jump right into curses!

Does Professor Dumbledore really know what you’re doing Moody? Did he really say to show them the three unforgivable curses? I’m not too sure about that…

I would think that if you knew that he could see out of the back of his head, then it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he can see through solid wood at what Lavender’s doing with her horoscope

Yep, Ron’s starting to regret the front seat

Yeah making the spider tap-dance sounded funny until he pointed out that he could do it to them

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Here, the rest of us don’t know why he asked if Neville’s last name was Longbottom, it seems like a perfectly normal thing to do… unfortunately we’ll find out soon enough why this isn’t random

TGFH

I wondered what made her look back at Neville, then I realised she probably didn’t want to see the horror right in front of her and turned away

Ah, I see, it’s not that nobody knew the answer to the last one, it’s more so that nobody wanted to give it

‘Only one known person has ever survived it, and he’s sitting right in front of me.’ CHILLS

I forgot that Harry didn’t know exactly how his parents died… and I guess he didn’t really want to know either

“Harry had been picturing his parent’s deaths over and over again for three years now, ever since he found out they had been murdered…” Oh whoops, forget what I said earlier then

Also, poor Harry

I love the ‘CONSTANT VIGILANCE’ bit lol

“They were talking about the lesson, Harry thought, as though it had been some sort of spectacular show, but he hadn’t found it very entertaining - and nor, it seemed, had Hermione.” Yeah, I’m starting to worry about the children of Hogwarts, with the exception of Hermione of course

It’s nice that he went back to check on Neville and Harry

“Neville looked even more frightened at the prospect of tea with Moody.” Lol

Ron, you moron

“He looked a good deal calmer than at the end of Moody’s lesson, though still not entirely normal. His eyes were rather red.” NEVILLE, MY POOR CHILD! Someone give him a hug!

It was really nice of Moody to first, tell Neville what Professor Sprout had said about him and second, help him feel better with a herbology book

“There was a faint note of pride in his voice that Harry had rarely heard there before.” YOU’RE A GOOD BEAN NEVILLE

“Telling Neville what Professor Sprout had said, Harry thought, had been a very tactful way of cheering Neville up,...” Harry agrees with me!

‘You know her - just put in loads of misery, she’ll lap it up.’ LOL he’s not wrong

Oh, I love this part… On Monday, he’ll be in danger of burns, Tuesday he’ll lose a treasured possession, and then he’ll get stabbed in the back by someone he thought was a friend. Wednesday Ron will come off worse in a fight and Harry will lose a bet. Some excellent foreshadowing going on here lol

Also, Harry was flicking through Unfogging the Future for ideas because apparently it’s just full of misery

“Crookshanks wandered over to them, leapt lightly into an empty chair, and stared inscrutably at Harry, rather as Hermione might look if she knew they weren’t doing their homework properly.” I love it

Whatever Fred and George are doing absolutely has something to do with the Triwizard Tournament

Oh so apparently it might not be related to the Triwizard Tournament

Oh so Ron will be drowning at some point? Interesting…

Ok, maybe decapitation is a bit too far outside the area of foreshadowing

LOL, I don’t know if this was intentional, but Harry thinks about decapitation just before he asks Hermione, ‘What’s in the box’! Like that movie about the seven deadly sins! Was it called Se7en? Yep! This might just be a coincidence though. In fact, it probably is

How did she make the badges?

The Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare!

‘Stop the Outrageous Abuse of Our Fellow Magical Creatures and Campaign for a Change in Their Legal Status’ would become S.O.A.O.F.M.C.C.C.T.L.S. So yeah, I guess that definitely won’t fit on a badge… I just wanted to make sure

“There was a pause in which Hermione beamed at the pair of them, and Harry sat, torn between exasperation at Hermione and amusement at the look on Ron’s face.” That’s just a summary of their friendship right there

Hedwig!

Lol, with Harry hitting his head and then the table, Hedwig must be a little taken aback, especially since she did her job so well

Harry! There’s no need to be rude to Hedwig!!

Oh, Harry has no idea about what’s going to come to pass… Sirius is right, and really smart

Harry, if Sirius hasn’t gotten caught by now, chances are he’s not going to get caught any time soon…

“The dormitory was completely silent, and, had he been less preoccupied, Harry would have realized that the absence of Neville’s usual snores meant that he was not the only one lying awake.” THERE WAS NO NEED FOR THAT J K ROWLING

Chapter 15

#Harry Potter #HPGOF #harry potter and the goblet of fire #harry potter thoughts #harry potter reread

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aimskyymama-blog · 7 years ago

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New York New York

There is so much I can say about New York, but I will try to stay focused on the task at hand! :) This was Micah’s first trip and we had a blast. If you stumbled on my blog out of curiosity, welcome. If its to read about our trip, my advice or just to see some photos then stay tuned.

Although we travel a lot I wont lie, my husband and I were nervous about traveling with a 4 month old. I was a little less nervous than him. Being a flight attendant for five years has helped me. I always marveled in awe when I would watch a mama wrangle a baby and/or a toddler all by herself flawlessly. So I always took mental notes for the future (thank you super mamas). We worked as a team and didn’t let any of the small stuff sweat us or slow us down. I honestly want to give him the dad of the year award for several reasons, but more on that later…

This was a very short trip. We left Florida around 6am on a Tuesday and came back at 7pm on Thursday. I will try to break this trip down by parts so I can stay organized haha.

Flights

We each had one carry on so a total of three. I packed my bag with half of Micah’s clothes and half of my own. I made sure to pack him 2-3 outfits for each day (whatever he was wearing and 2 extra in his diaper bag just in case so about 5-6 total for the whole trip). I packed him 2 footed pajamas (he wore one on the flight there), socks, diapers, wipes, his favorite teething toy, hand sanitizer/wipes, four spit up cloths (he didn’t use all four so I think 2-3 would’ve been fine for us), his muslin blanket (he used this a lot since its light enough for hot days but can be used to keep warm when folded), one thick blanket (also never used), soap and wash cloth, no need for formula since he is breastfed (which also made this easier), his LilleBaby carrier, and his Chicco bravo travel system (which I wish we didn’t take or found another option but ill explain why below). Micah’s carry on was his diaper bag and it had the things I normally pack for him.

My husband carried the bags and pushed the stroller while I wore Micah through the airport. This is why I wish we didn’t take his travel system. Getting through TSA, gate checking it, and most of all carrying it up and down the subway stairs (FYI, most subways in NY DONT HAVE ELEVATORS) was such a pain. This is why my hubby wins the prize, he did that heavy lifting. We thought about leaving it and buying a collapsible stroller that can fit in the over head but we knew we needed it for his naps and a car seat for any car rides. That’s where I learned the hard way that you can actually request a Lyft or Uber with a car seat. Whoops, lesson number one learned. So my advice, skip the bulky stroller and try to go for a small one that can fold up like the GB Pockit Stroller (if baby is 6 mos and up) or Doona (if you need the stroller to sit at an incline for naps) which is a car seat and stroller in one.

Once we got through TSA and to our gate I carried Micah onto the plane, we checked his car seat and stroller and then put his carrier either under the seat or in the overhead bin. Micah was awesome on the flight. We purposely did an early morning one because he normally sleeps until 8-9am so we knew he would sleep on the flight. I nursed him on both take off and landing to help clear his ears of the pressure. He didn’t ever seem phased.

Once we landed in LGA we hit the ground running! We dropped off our bags, freshened up and then headed to the subway to go to the American Museum of Natural History.

Coming from Queens, this felt like it took forever. Probably because we had to take Micah in and out of the stroller to go up and down subway stairs and we had to transfer trains. Again, hubby wins the prize because he did all of the navigating. Thankfully because of him, we never took the wrong train or got lost.

I was busy keeping Micah entertained and taking pictures (I’m always the photographer on our trips). Weather was cloudy and chilly (high 60’s is chilly to Floridians). But as the day progressed the sun came out and it was gorgeous. High 70’s low 80’s. I dressed myself and Micah in layers for that reason. As the temp went up I peeled off the layers.

Food

So as most of you know I am dairy, soy and egg free because of Micah’s intolerance’s to them. Total bummer because hello, PIZZA. :( But, NY is so accommodating when it comes to allergens. Almost every food spot had their ingredients listed and/or vegan meals on the menu. I was able to find a lot of options and if you know different foods, you know what you can eat. For example, I had a delicious Panang chicken Curry from a Thai joint. I knew it was usually made without soy sauce and is made with coconut milk and I simply confirmed with them before ordering. It was delicious. I also had an amazing dairy free sourdough flat bread with their house made vegan cheese in Grand Central Station. SO damn good. But my favorite was carne and pollo asada tacos from Los Tacos No.1 in Chelsea Market. Best tacos I have ever had. I cannot recommend going there enough! I ate like five of them and I had no shame haha! Being restricted from food has been tough so to find such delicious food that fit my diet made me feel so happy. We definitely will be going back as soon as I can have cheese so I can eat my heart out with pizza. If you also have a food intolerant little babe then you know how you always have a moment of fear when checking a diaper after eating something new. I cant tell you how many times I’ve been told in a restaurant "no egg" or “no dairy” and then Micah’s poo goes from normal not smelly yellow poop to nasty, green, messy and smelly poo but we had none of that. :)

Transportation

We only took a car ride to and from the airport. We used Lyft and it was very easy and not pricey. Besides that we either used the subways or the bus. We purposely chose NY as our first trip with Micah for this reason. We found it easier to go to a destination that we can walk around vs having to rent a car and drive. The subways were pretty easy to use. We filled up a metro card that we used for both the bus and subway rides. We didn’t spend very much at all. I loved taking the subway (minus the stairs part. I know I cant get over it lol). My husband used Google maps to figure out which ones to take and where we should transfer. For the most part it was not too busy and if the car was full we waited for the next one since we had the stroller.

People were awesome (except the ones that didn’t ask to give their seat) but that was expected haha. Almost everyone held a door open for us or asked if we needed any assistance when we were carrying the stroller. I really appreciated that. We walked. A whole lot. We walked half of Central park. We started at the museum. The museum is great but it was very busy when we went. Probably best for children a little older. The noise and stimulation was a little much for Micah so we didn’t do too many exhibits. After the museum we walked to the boating lake, Bethesda fountain and then through The Mall down to 57th.

There we walked around and then finally around 4pm we started to make our journey back to Queens so we could get some early rest for the next day. I think personally, Central Park was the highlight of the trip for me. There are so many artist and musicians. For some reason being surrounded by so much nature and natural beauty but having the city around was so cool to me. I absolutely loved it and would love to go back in the fall when all of the tree’s are changing colors or even in the winter to see The Mall covered in snow.

I highly recommend using a carrier. We used ours each day and it made getting around so much easier. Unless Micah was asleep in the stroller, we tried to consistently carry him so he wouldn't get sick of being in the stroller. The carrier we used is LilleBaby. This is really a great carrier with back support (super important especially for those heavier babies)

It was very comfortable to use and Micah loved it. We bought the Airflow model because its breathable and we knew we would be walking around outside with it. It also comes with a snap on hood.

On the second day we took it much easier. We got ready and headed out to midtown. We ate breakfast at Grand Central Station and then stayed around gawking at the beauty it is.

We decided to do a little shopping in H&M (that’s where I got my super cute jean overalls on sale. Yassss). I also had to nurse Micah in the fitting room because he is SO very easily distracted now when he nurses. After that we decided to keep walking and sight seeing. Finally we decided to hop on the train and head over to Chelsea Park for a bite to eat and to explore.

Micah took his naps like a champ. All on his own. He ate, babbled, laughed, played with strangers and then on his own in his stroller he would just knock out. Then repeat. Haha. We went to the Highline which I highly recommend. Id rate that 2nd for our trip. We started around 24th street where the elevator would have been but it was just our luck that it was broken. So we muscled up and carried everything up the stairs.

We walked down to 18th on the Highline to look at the water and then like real tourist, we walked back to 24th only to realize that the Highline connects to Chelsea Market. Whoops number 2! Micah slept through it all and I had to wake him up once we were done so I could nurse him plus I thought the park was a nice place to do it. At Chelsea Market we went into every food spot like the foodies we are. I cant wait to return when im not on any kind of restricted diet!

On our last day the early AM flight we wanted to get on was full so we decided to hang around for a bit longer. We took the train and got off on the stop that took us to Gantry Plaza state park.

Then we walked towards the park and took some more photos while sight seeing. We hopped back on the train to Queens and then made our way back to LGA.

I love this photo my husband took of me nursing Micah while waiting for the train in the subway. It was hot, Micah was fussy because he was hungry, and I finally had a moment to sit and nurse him. People think its so easy to just throw a blanket over your baby (which Micah HATES) or to wait until you are somewhere private. The truth is, a hungry baby waits for no one :)

Over all we loved New York and we highly recommend it to any family that is looking to Travel to a family friendly destination. We cannot wait to go back. I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post as much as I did writing it. Hopefully you enjoyed it enough for me to continue blogging. :)

Thanks for reading!

#newyork #motherhood #travel #momblogger

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anonymous-odd-thoughts-blog · 7 years ago

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The Adventures Of Toby Masonlyn Through All Her Worlds

By Nony Odd

- - -

This is just a series of little fantasy stories. Fantasy is such an attractive genre to me. We are not only allowed to romanticize it, but encouraged to do so. Fantasy worlds and creatures and cultures are so somehow simultaneously majestic and quaint in comparison to the world we live in, as Homo sapiens on the planet Earth. Earth ain’t all bad, of course. But from Ancient Greek myths to the imagination of J.K Rowling and Tolkien, the fantasy worlds we carry within us have always been a second – or first – home to us Homos. This lil fantasy series comes with commentary, of course. I know I’m very new to tumblr but I’ve known about it for a while, so I’m just going to act like I already have thousands of fans. – N. Odd

- - -

Toby woke up with a start. Or, actually, she didn’t. Even with Aelin banging on her door, she awoke quite slowly. Toby quickly became annoyed but very confused (Noise…annoying…loud noise…wha…) and then finally opened her eyes after about a minute of trying to fall back asleep.

“Ma’am! Are you awake?” Aelin knocked again.

“Why are you banging on my?...Switchsticks. It’s Tuesday.” Toby scampered off the bed, made sure her nightgown was properly tied together, and opened the door.

“Quite right. You’re going to be late for your appointment.”

“That still doesn’t give you an excuse to relentlessly bang on my door! I know I’m late! My brain just didn’t tell me that until I woke up.” Toby shook her finger at Aelin.

Then she laughed. She thought about what she must look like. She was the child of a female dwarf and a male elf. She had the white, slightly translucent skin of an elf, and the wide girth of a dwarf. Her height and ears were what you might call a direct hybrid between two styles of OffHuman. She was of average stature with broad shoulders and small feet, and her ears were pointy like an elf’s ears and slightly crumpled at the bottom. Her hair was blonde and wavy at the top, and got curlier and darker the lower on her head.

- - -

Has anyone else noticed that OffHumans in other stories are basically just existing variations of humans? Elves are tall and smart and graceful, dwarves are short and fat and angry, mermaids are humans who live in the water…throughout this series I’ll do my best to avoid this, which is why the elves have slightly translucent skin, etc. My way of dealing with similarities like this is to add extras. – N. Odd

- - -

Picture this slightly off-putting, beautiful specimen in a white and yellow nightgown, hair done up, shaking her frankly chubby finger at a constantly exasperated elf that was too old to be shaken at with a finger. You would’ve laughed too.

“Please, ma’am…” Aelin sighed.

“One, you can stop calling me ma’am, we’ve known each other for three years,” Toby put her hand on his shoulder, “two, do I at least have time to change?”

“Yes.” Aelin stood there.

“You don’t get to watch!” Toby laughed.

“Right.” He bowed awkwardly and left the room.

Toby flung off her nightgown and took her hair out of the string it was kept up in. She opened up her wardrobe like it was a treasure chest, and tossed the stuff she wanted to wear over her shoulder.

“Socks – boots – shirt – can’t forget pants – belt – jacket – oh wait bra – okay yep that’s good. Sword? Nah. Dagger.”

Her socks were peach colored, thin but fluffy. She pulled them up to her knees as she put her brown, strapped boots on.

She had to take it all off after realizing putting pants on after shoes was impossible.

Her shirt was simple. Large and white. Felt like a mix of cotton and leather. Durable and soft. Her jacket had three layers. When she first got it, Toby painted Awesome Jacket on the tag in thick red paint. The outermost layer protected her against both cold and hot extremes, the innermost layer held weapons and snacks, and the one in between was plaid. It was meant to be a jacket left open, she couldn’t have closed it anyways – her chest and belly were simply too big. Toby loved this jacket.

As she walked towards the door, her stomach actually growled. She looked down at it.

“Appointment before food.” She grimaced slightly, walked out the door, and followed Aelin to the library’s main office. Oh yes. She lived in a library.

And appointment before food would not have been her arrangement of priorities yesterday. But this was a special appointment. With luck, this time tomorrow, she would be an Adventurer. The Adventurers made it their business to have fun and travel. This was her dream job. The elves at the library were scholars who didn’t take part in fun or traveling themselves, but she understood. They just enjoyed different things. The elf part of her did want to stay in the miles-wide library and read for hours a day and give garden tours, the dwarf part of her wanted to leave as soon as possible after three years here, and the whole of her wanted to leave with no malice and have this place be the home she came back to. The Adventurers had no purpose except the advancement of civilization through hands-on learning and increased intercultural relationships.

Toby never described the library in her diary. It was simply…where she lived. She only talked about the books she read, like that one about the fascinating nomadic tribes who made a yearly migration along a line of volcanoes, simply to stay nearest to the escaping heat, or the series about older elven languages that died out due one massive potato blight.

It was a long walk to the main office. She actually passed the gardens with Aelin on her way there, and wanted to dive in the deep, bright blue pond. She didn’t though. Aelin had her by her arm and didn’t let go until they reached the pale golden doors.

“Father,” Aelin shoved Toby into the room, “I have the last one.”

Toby bowed, grinning.

“Sit down next to Madisol!” Aelin’s father Kudayki cheered, and gestured to a young girl with light brown skin and purple eyes.

Toby walked over and did so.

“Hey.” Toby remembered she had some chocolate in one of her many jacket pockets, pulled a chunk out, and stuffed it in her mouth quickly before Kudayki saw. Madisol did, though, and scooted away towards the far end of the small bench.

“Dwarf.” She muttered.

“And half elf!” Toby poked Madisol in the shoulder, forcing her to look into Toby’s grey eyes.

“Sorry, half-elf dwarf.” Madisol sneered.

“How did you know I was a dwarf?” Toby was amused.

“I didn’t care about looking at you until I heard you stuff that chocolate into your mouth, and then right away I noticed your size.”

“Good. I’m glad you noticed.” Toby patted her belly casually while smiling obviously, then smoothly and quietly grabbed Madisol by the lower nape and tugged her closer so she could whisper in her ear.

“What was that for?” Madisol tried to break free of Toby’s grasp but failed.

“I want you to know something about me…I am very comfortable in my own skin, Madi. So damn comfy. I’m actually hungry right now, I woke up too late to eat breakfast. But you’d be right in saying that most often, when I eat, I’m not hungry. Food satisfies me. A lot. It’s not hunger, it’s a very strong desire. Hence. I am very big, even for a dwarf. I am a glutton and proud of it, and genetically, my scandalous dwarfiness allows me to find no problems with it health-wise. So I’m happy, and fine, and there goes the two most popular reasons to fat-shame and/or dwarf-shame, down the drain, just like that, you see that? Whoop-de-doo. There we go.”

Toby let Madisol go. Madisol rubbed the back of her neck, and Toby smiled. She’d spoken quickly enough that they were thankfully not still engaged in mini-combat when the multi-hearing started. There were hearings to decide the next round of Adventurers every year, and this year, the hearings all happened at once to make time for later meetings the Elven Scholar’s Council had.

- - -

This is getting long whoops lol – N. Odd

- - -

The room quieted down as Kudayki stood.

“One of the most important times of the year for us here at the library has come.”

The room erupted into loud cheering. Toby was one of the loudest.

“Calm down, calm down everyone.” Kudyaki waved the cheers down in volume. But he was smiling.

“Please welcome the potential Adventurers to the stage!” He shouted, and didn’t try to quiet anybody down this time. He ran up to the stage and gestured for all the young people who had volunteered to do the same.

Toby, for better or for worse, ended up standing next to Madisol as the crowd calmed down.

Kudyaki immediately began calling out names. “Kingsley Lykos! Ravol Biki! Come up together!”

Toby counted through the line of people, and realized that her and Madisol would have to present their arguments together, simultaneously discouraging the other’s campaign. She sighed.

Kingsley and Ravol looked appropriately badass and wordly. Kingsley had natural blue hair and black eyes. Ravol was holding a large encyclopedia and reciting different words as some strange evidence that he should go. Kingsley flattened Ravol, and his position validated, he sat back down in the audience. His family and friends cheered for him.

Toby suddenly got very nervous. Each year, only five new Adventurers joined the massive global team. One down, four to go. It was rare that both people who presented together both became Adventurers. Madisol shivered next to Toby, and accidentally reached to hold Toby’s hand. Toby put it back down.

The two people who went next both sucked in Toby’s opinion. One had an adorable lisp but knew nothing about anything. One tossed around insults at anybody who looked at her, including the Council.

However, the two people after that both looked as though they had very good chances. One had already done some traveling. It’s not as though you couldn’t travel without being an Adventurer, but you generally were considered too young. The other had somehow read more books than Toby, but still spoke like a person.

The traveler, Minki, made it on. She sat down next to Kingsley, and they shook hands.

It was Madisol and Toby’s turn. They walked up to the two podiums nearly synchronized.

Madisol was up to present first. Uh oh, Toby thought, What is she gonna say about me? She glanced over, then faced the Council with a set jaw.

Madisol began. “My story begins 100 years ago. My late great grandmother was ten years old.”

It was suddenly like a cloud of frowns came over the room. Did everyone but Toby know about…something?

“My people were nearly all killed in one night. Hacked to death with daggers.”

Toby felt the dagger get heavier inside her jacket.

“The Elves have done an amazing job with trying to restore my culture, but there are still descendant tribes there, left behind by the modern world. My younger brother still lives with them. I begged with my father to accompany me and journeyed here with a donation. I have no mother. I had to leave my brother without a family. No one there has access to proper education, food and water are hard to come by without angering the spirits and animals…intercultural relationships are what you want. I want to save my people. I can use this opportunity to do so.”

Toby blanched, which she didn’t think was possible, with her already white skin. She couldn’t compete with that; moreover, she didn’t really want to. Madisol’s people had experienced genocide. Toby noticed that Madisol’s hand was still rubbing her neck, and her hands shook whenever she looked at Toby.

“Your presentation?” Kudyaki looked into Toby’s eyes, expecting her to counter.

Instead, she looked at Madisol. “Who killed your people…?”

Madisol glared back, but Toby could tell she was nervous. “Your people.”

Kudyaki frowned. “Do not turn this into a deeper discussion, ladies. Simply present your cases.”

Toby stood there, looking at Madisol. She remembered a story her mother used to tell her, about how all the brave women and men in her congregation went off to rid the world of evil dragons, with purple eyes and the ability to turn into humans. Her mother told it with such a sensationalist attitude that she often asked her mother if it really happened the way all the elders told it.

Madisol shrunk as Toby walked towards her. “Please don’t hurt me again!”

She gave away her fear in one small shriek.

Kudyaki looked at Toby curiously.

“When I sat next to her,” Toby sighed, resignedly, “She muttered ‘dwarf’ right after I had eaten something from inside one of my jacket pockets. I thought she was fat-shaming me. I thought she had recognized that I was a dwarf just from me having snacks on me, and she was being negative about it. So I…aggressively corrected her when none of you were looking. Now I realize she feels negatively about dwarves because of something they did that most of them are still proud of. I simply kept the impression she had gathered going by being violent.”

Kudyaki looked thoughtful. “Well obviously that does sound mean, but given that you were provoked, however wrong the provoking information was, you don’t need to experience any sort of extensive punishment. Was that your presentation? You didn’t talk about your attitude or abilities…”

Toby ignored him and put her arm on Madisol’s shoulder. She tried to shrink a bit as to not look imposing with a potentially intimidating pose.

“I’m so sorry about what happened. If there’s anything I can do…I’m sorry. I didn’t know. But ignorance is no excuse.”

Toby stepped back and stayed silent while the others presented their cases. For some reason, the Council said they would give everyone else their position-related answers after the event ended. Was it because Toby hadn’t presented a case good enough for even a yes or no decision, and they wanted to give her a second chance before letting the others receive an answer, just in case she got in later?

Madisol and Toby were waiting in the hallway when another boy joined them. He shook both their hands.

“Crissti.”

“Madi.”

“Toby.”

“Nice to meet you, Madi, Toby.” Crissti ruffled his own hair, possibly styling it for their private time in the office.

“It’s time to come back in.” A man Toby had seen a few times before poked his head out. He had purple eyes.

“Okay, Father.” Madisol entered the room first, with Toby and Criss right behind her.

They sat down at a three-seat table across from the Council’s table.

“Did you have us come in here that way I could…present a better case?” Toby asked.

“At first,” Madisol’s father said, “That was indeed the plan. Kudyaki seemed to think the words you spoke during the main meeting didn’t suffice as a showcase of your personality.”

Kudyaki was very smart, and very cheerful, but a rule follower.

“The rest of us thought it did suffice, very much so.”

“Good…?” Toby smiled, not knowing what to expect.

“Very good, for all three of you.” Aelin, sitting at a chair behind the Council, commented. He smiled as though doing so for the first time in the three years that Toby had known him.

“What does he mean, all three of us?” Criss asked.

Kudyaki smiled broadly. “Crissti was the fifth Adventurer admitted to the team. His case wasn’t nearly as complicated a process to look over, but we wanted to tell you all at the same time – you two were the third and fourth.”

Madisol nearly started to cry.

Toby laughed. “How?”

“Madisol’s case was an interesting, sympathetic one. We all thought, at first, that she would make it in no question. The nature of her case made it inevitable. But as you made your statements, we realized you were aware of this as well. You were humble and implied that you wished to forfeit so Madisol could take the position. You are no ordinary dwarf. No dwarf would have apologized so quickly for something they’d only just heard about, not even genocide. They are a stubborn, proud type. We are aware that you are a hybrid, of course, but it remains a fact that even hybrids take the political sides of their proudest parent.”

“So basically,” Toby smiled, “You’re letting me be an Adventurer because I’m ‘selfless’ and ‘humble’? You haven’t heard about me, you don’t know why I’d be good other than! –”

“We haven’t heard about you in the traditional way as a group,” Kudyaki continued, “but I know some things about you after three years. You are bright. You enjoy life itself. You enjoy traveling. You are kind. You love to read, and you are down to earth.”

Toby smiled, slowly.

“…Cool!”

Madisol muttered something.

“What?” Toby asked.

She muttered under her breath again.

“I couldn’t hear you…”

“Sorry…bout…”

Toby hugged Madisol. She pulled Criss into the hug too. “It’s fine. We’re all here. We’re all okay.”

“And we all made it!” Crissti cheered.

- - -

It’ll get really fun next chapter guys, promise! – N. Odd...hey P.S Toby has glasses I completely forgot to mention that lmao

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brunchbitch · 7 years ago

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How are you doing?

this got super fucking long so i’m putting it under a read more

i’m pretty good! i’m just sooooo ready to start rehearsals (but also really really really nervous) so that happens next week. i’ve decided to use one of my absences from group so that i can go to the whole first rehearsal bc that may be when they’re assigning the chorus lines and i would love to be there so i can get as many lines as i can.

i’m probably going to alumni group this weekend and then seeing wicked with bri and i’m so so so excited.

i booked my flight home for labor day weekend and i’m already excited for that even though it’s so far away lol.

i don’t think i’m gonna be able to go to nyc with my mom to see dear evan hansen bc of the vacation schedule at W - basically we can take four week-long vacations per year and a vacation is the only way you can miss house meeting (unless like you’re sick or there’s a one-time thing happening that you have to go to) and since rehearsals will be on tuesdays in august, i’m taking two weeks of vacation right before the performances which means i won’t have any vacations for going to nyc so i’m sad about that but i also feel glad that i have something (besides treatment) that is a priority and that i’m excited about.

tuesday’s session with brandon was hard but i’m really glad i texted him my thoughts (and he texted me back). i was proud of that and also how hard i worked on grounding skills that day (can’t remember the last time i did ice diving! actually it was probs at mnlh).

kellie yesterday was good. weight is stable. she’s a little concerned that my weight has literally stayed in a one-pound range (so like not even a range lol) every week since the weight loss in iop and she’s like “ginny you should be having fluctuations. the fact that you have stayed within a pound makes me think you’re being pretty rigid about your intake” and i was like yeah… so we talked about some ways in which i need to practice flexibility (including the possibility of needing two separate snacks in between mealtimes if i’m hungry or the schedule is weird). i’m also supposed to work on spending less time at the grocery store comparing labels and such. the chocolate croissant goal stayed the same bc i didn’t do it last week BUT i did do it yesterday after our session and it was really fucking hard and i felt so shitty and guilty (and tbh i didn’t even like it that much) so i’m glad that’s done. my other goals are to try toast and butter (i mentioned that butter really scares me), decrease calorie counting including not looking up the info for new foods, eat out at a restaurant with bri before the show (and maybe order dessert), and to keep track of hunger/fullness.

today i had liz and that was good. we talked about a lot of stuff, including the dinner/dessert possibility before wicked and my fears and anxieties around that. i also talked about how, when i’m at the grocery store and i’m passing the bakery section, i think “i wish i could try that muffin” or cookie or whatever but they’re all in four- or six-packs and the idea of that kind of food just sitting around at the house makes me really nervous. i told her that, even though B/P’ing was not a part of this last relapse, i am always terrified that i will go back to overeating, that that part of me is still in there, just waiting to come out. so i try to have mostly healthy food at W (except for ice cream lol i always have ice cream) so i’m not tempted to overeat. and liz looked at me and said “do you have a razor?” i smiled and said “yes”. she said “are there knives and scissors there that aren’t locked up?” and i said “yes”. she said “ok, so was there a time in your life where you would not have been able to stand having razors and scissors and knives just lying around for you to use whenever you want?” and i was like “uh yeah, at 3East and most other programs” and she was like “right! you had to beg staff to let you use a razor and they stood outside the door while you shaved, right? but now you have these sharps out and i’m guessing that cutting doesn’t cross your mind every time you see them, right?” and i was like “yeah, you’re right”. she said “ok. the muffins are razor blades.” so i liked that point bc it’s so true that i have desensitized myself to having sharp things around. so i went to the grocery store again (twice in two days oops) and i bought a six-pack of muffins on a whim and sent liz a picture of it, saying “fuck”. she responded “You. Are. A. Rock. Star.” i said i was scared, and she responded “well, maybe you start by having them around. you don’t have to eat one (or part of one) today. save them in the freezer if you need to.” so it’s really about exposure right now - that i can have a pack of muffins on the counter without overeating just at the sight of them.

i made cookies tonight (another challenge!) bc i wanted to bring some to the firehouse that is close by W. it’s a smaller house and i’ve been wanting to stop by with something to say thank you (partly from watching chicago fire and seeing that people drop off cookies and stuff, hopefully in real life too not just the show lol, and also partly bc my nanny’s husband is a firefighter so i spent some time in their firehouse and even did a ride-along when i was 18 and i loved being in the firehouse). so i awkwardly walked in (the big garage doors were open) and this guy waved at me so i came in and was like “hi um i live down the street and i made some chocolate chip cookies but i wasn’t sure how many people were here…” and he said “there’s 17 of us” and i was like “oh shit… i brought 12…” and he was like “i’m just kidding. there’s 3 of us.” haha. they seemed really grateful and two of them were like “oh did you just move in?” and i was like “no… i’ve been here about a year” [whoops i’m an asshole and haven’t come until now lol]. but anyways, i like doing small good deeds like that bc it makes me feel better about myself.

that was much longer than i thought it was gonna be! sorry! i’ll just stop there.

#ed recovery #anorexia recovery #tw food #personal #update #l #kb #answered

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borisbubbles · 8 years ago

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Eurovision 2017: Pre-Show

13. Albania: Lindita Halimi - “World” Semifinal 1 - #04

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In a field of very unexpected song choices, I’m glad “Albanian Screaming Woman” is still being maintained as a Eurovision Staple :)

I LOVE "World”, sorry not gonna lie. I think I’m one of the few people who really cares about Lindita or her song, but I’ve liked her from second one and I’ve been on the love train ever since the revamp came out. Back at the start of this ranking, when I put Georgia dead last, I made the comparison: both Georgia and Albania have sent a screaming woman to this contest. Both have a politico-environmental message: that the planet is getting wrecked by war and conflict. Both are doing it through a Power Ballad. However, many of the flaws I find in "Keep the Faith” are notoriously absent in “World”

No self-righteousness or self-aggrandisement: Tako Tuesday mostly sings about HERSELF and how difficult HER LIFE is and how you must be as strong as her, while Lindita lament the facts at hand and their consequences. Have a guess at which one charms me more :)

No Political exploitation: Georgia have shifted their song to a Women Empowerment/Feminist angle, but remember that INITIALLY, they used Ukraine and Syria to win the selection, which is vile and no amount of readjusting may amend that judgdment. Albania present their world was a barren, mechanical desert, destroyed by mankind’s mistreatment which is not only neutral but interesting. Dystopian fiction <3 (remember that for when i’ll discuss English Lit on this blog).

No annoying hook: I’m sorry, but “LET THE LOVE UNITE US ALLLL ;__;” is beautiful, pure, lipsynching material, while “KEEP DA FAAAAAAAAATE” makes me want to douse myself in Holy Water to rinse off the sulphurous stench of sanctimony. ick.

No stupid name: Lindita is Spanish for “beautiful little girl” while Tako is the Japanese word for “Octopus”, soooooo.

Also, Tako is famous for “We Don’t Want To Put In” (as a gay man, I have to disagree: you DO have to “Put In”.) while Lindita is an AMERICAN IDOL:

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AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL!!! Georgia, you’re CANCELLED!!!! All of this and more amounts to an impressive 13th place on my pre-show ranking. :) Untill I inevitably bump her down after she NQ’s for the finale, OOPS.

PREVIOUS APPEARANCES:

Actually, before her AMERICAN IDOL STINT, Lindita participated in FiK before and finished third with a SYNTHPOP(!!!!!) song:

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Unfortunately, Albania consist of old farts who like music from the 80s, soooo Lindita was robbed over Elhadia Dani and her DREADFUL Ballad. :-/

QUALIFICATION ODDS: Poor

I have always HOPED for a GOOD vs EVIL clash between Tako and Lindita in their semifinal with Lindita winning it, but it actually looks like neither will advance lol? The road to Albania’s doom is three-pronged:

1) Ballad in semifinal 1. Again, all ballads in this ranking so far, with the exceptions of Denmark, UK and Bulgaria are in this semifinal and we aren’t even done yet (two more to go)

2) Horrible draw: 4th, after Georgia AND Australia, which makes three ballads in a row.

3) Albania is a country subject to negative jury rigging as they have a distinct diasporia and juries hate them for some reason. However, I do believe that, with “World” being a strong song and with Lindita being amazing *and* with Albania having potential allies in Italy, Greece, Belgium, Sweden and Montenegro, they can still reach the finals? Like I said before, it could involve quite a bit of luck, but I don’t rate it impossible... just kind of unlikely, whoops. :(

Projected Placement: 16th-37th (Albania always finish in placements ending in 6 or 7... except in 2012 because that year Albania withdrew and gave their spot to the Witch of Endor :))

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Preshow #Ranking #Albania

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dcarr22-blog · 8 years ago

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Day 5 & 6 - Mount Fuji

On Tuesday we said goodbye to Johnny as he had to go back to base and Ely and I took a bus down to Lake Kawaguchiko to see Mount Fuji. The seats on the bus were very narrow, I practically had one butt cheek on top of the other.

Our time in Mount Fuji was unforgettable and we enjoyed every minute of it even with the few kinks we encountered during our stay. We stayed in a hostel that had the most magnificent view of Mount Fuji. It is absolutely breathtaking!

After leaving the bus station, we headed straight to a local restaurant that served Hotou noodles. The food was amazing…the only problem was Ely made us sit in tatami mats. She had forgotten that I cannot sit "criss cross applesauce" for the life of me. Knowing how much she wanted to experience eating on tatami mats I didn't say anything to her. Instead for an entire hour I was fidgeting on the mats. I felt like a giant stale cookie unable to bend without breaking.

We walked to our hostel after lunch to check in, actually the wrong hostel. Lol My knees were still adjusting themselves so we opted to take a taxi to the right hostel. After settling in, we walked to a local Indian restaurant. The night would have not been complete without one more kink…our taxi driver took us to a hotel instead of our hostel after dinner. Already angry that he drove us to the wrong destination, he became infuriated when we paid him with nothing but coins! Whoops!

Wednesday we got to ride on the "Pleasure Cruiser" across Lake Kawaguchiko for another spectacular view of Mount Fuji. After this ride Ely and I accidentally ended up inside a little old bakery and before we knew it we were sitting down at a table with our own desert and the best cup of instant coffee. I packed Lactaid pills given that Ely and I are both lactose intolerant but they must be using legitimate cow milk because they did nothing for me. The size of our desserts and coffee served as reminder that in America we do EVERYTHING BIG! I needed a magnifying glass to find the crust on the slice of cheesecake I was served. After our little snack, we went on to ride cable cars that would led us to the peak of another mountain for another stellar view of Mount Fuji. Man, I have to say I couldn't get tired of staring at this mountain except for the fact that the sun was blinding my big beautiful eyes, my most prized possession.

Now the fun begins...after our ride on the cable cars Ely and I went to have lunch at a restaurant overlooking Lake Kawaguchiko. I, having a bladder the size of a peanut went to use the restroom once we walked in. This would make it the second time in this trip that I would use a squatty... the first time I used a squatty was in Tokyo. During my first experience, I struggled to maintain my balance and height as my legs were dead after walking 25,000 steps. It wasn't until I walked out of the restroom that I realized I was facing the opposite direction when I used the squatty. Hence the reason why there were no railings in sight for me to maintain my balance.

As soon as I walked in to the restroom at the restaurant and saw that It was a squatty I was pumped. I felt like an experienced traveler that knew exactly how to use it. I positioned myself and just as I was forming a victory grin, my left foot slipped under me. You can just imagine the horror that filled my body. This will go on as the day in history when I declared war on squatties.

Late in the afternoon we decided to rent bikes and ride them over to a private Onsen before catching an overnight bus to Kyoto. This was another decision Ely and I made without thoroughly thinking it over. By the time we figured out how to unlock the bikes and how to remove the kickstand, it was already 5 pm. Two foreigners riding bikes in the icy sidewalks while the sun was setting was definitely a sight to see. What was meant to only be a 10 to 15 minute bike ride, turned out to be 45 minutes! I considered going back to the hostel when I saw the Onsen across the street but no way to cross the big highway that divided us.

Ely and I finally made our way to the bike lot next to the main entrance. As I was down on my knees locking my bike, I felt the bike rack tremble and shake--ultimately breaking on one side. I looked over and saw Ely hurling her bike over the rack. For one reason or another, she thought she was Hercules.

After rolling on the floor laughing, we finally made our way in. The entire building was made out of wood. It reminded me of the Hunger Games; everything was spotless, in order and people were dressed in the same exact clothes. We walked in to the women's locker room and once again I found myself contemplating going back to the hostel before experiencing a Japanese Onsen. There were naked Japanese women walking around everywhere so nonchalantly. I all of a sudden became extremely timid about my body, it might have also been the fact that my legs and underarms hadn't seen a razor since I left the states. After undressing and being butt naked, Ely and I made our way to Onsens tightly holding our bath and hand towel. As soon as we stepped into the Onsen area, I felt everyone's eyes on us.

As any true American would do, we broke 3 of the 6 rules posted up on just about every wall. 1. We took our bath towel with us to the area where all of the Onsens were located 2. People with tattoos are not admitted to the Onsens (we covered Ely’s tattoo with Band-Aids) 3. We walked into the locker rooms soaking wet

After the Onsen we headed back to the hostel to return our rented bikes and to mount our backpacks onto our aching backs for the walk to the bus station. This was the end to our enchanting stay in Mount Fuji.

The bus ride to Kyoto was nine hours long; nine hours of me turning from side to side as Ely slept like an angel. The windows of the bus were covered with drapes so I didn't get to enjoy what I'm assuming would have been beautiful scenery. About 60% of the bus was empty yet Ely and I, the American tourist...bigger than anybody else in the bus were forced to sit next to each other.

#mountfuji #onsen #squattywar #hostel #crisscrossapplesauce

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ladywithoutababy · 4 years ago

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Transfer cycle day 13: Whoops, the progesterone is here

I went into the office yesterday for monitoring after I-don’t-know-how-many days of taking estrace (ugh, ok, I just stood up and checked the thing on the fridge, it was 11 days), and the doctor said everything looked good (but don’t get your hopes up, remember, they always say everything looks good). I got a call today confirming that our frozen embryo transfer is scheduled for this Tuesday at 10am! Wow, easy, so close to the finish line.

EXCEPT!

We knew we’d have to start progesterone before the transfer, because we got a ton of medication delivered before this cycle started, but we didn’t think to plan ahead or prepare for it in any way. I think this is partially normal – I feel like every time we got a ton of medication delivered some part of my brain was just like nah we probably won’t need it (we always ended up needing it lol) – but also we’re pretty out of practice, as it’s been a few months since our most recent (retrieval) cycle. But ALSO. We’re in the process of buying a house (it closes tomorrow). And there’s still a global pandemic. And police offers are murdering civilians all around the country. So uhh yeah we’ve been pretty distracted.

The nurse who called with our instructions was very clear that this first progesterone shot, tonight, had to happen between 6pm and 8pm. She didn’t tell us anything else about the shots, just that it was very important that we did it in this time frame. So of course we forgot that we had to do a shot tonight until 7pm, scrambled to try to find some instructions because we realized it’s the first intramuscular injection we’ve ever had (as opposed to our old buddy, the subcutaneous injection), and... hmm, I guess a good summary is that doing this under the time pressure did not go particularly well.

First of all, nobody told us how much of the progesterone to use, so we decided to trust what it said on the prescription packaging (1 ML). And nobody told us how to do an intramuscular injection, so we did some googling which didn’t seem to match up with the materials we had, and then we found the link with the videos that we remembered from the IVF class we took SEVEN MONTHS AGO, and we watched the video about progesterone injections, and we noticed that a) these are extremely long needles, so they can reach the aforementioned muscles, and b) the video says we’re supposed to have two different needles but we only have one kind of needle. At this point, we have less than an hour left. The doctor’s office is closed. I don’t have anyone’s direct phone number.

So what do I do? I calmly call the main line, ask the operator to have a nurse call me, and turn back to tell my husband that I think we’re just gonna have to work with what we have, and if that means using a dull needle that’s what we’re going to do because we are not missing this stupid shot and waiting another month and starting all over again.

But when I turn around, my poor, exhausted, stressed, terrified husband is having an extremely inconvenient panic attack. (He doesn’t have them often, but I’ve seen this before, and I know the signs as well as I know that there is no fucking way he can stick a giant needle into me in this state.) His reaction is to try to just power through, so he tries to fill the needle with the stuff, he can’t get the stuff out, he’s getting sweaty, his hands are shaking, he won’t let me help him, and he’s just insisting that we “just have to get through this” like someone’s got a gun to his head and they’re almost done counting down from 10.

Don’t worry, he took a breather (after much cajoling), he calmed down, and he got the thing done. Actually, the nurse called me back right when he was about to stick it in me, adding another totally unnecessary layer of tension. We had by this point dug through our 900 pieces of paperwork and found one that mentioned that the instructional video is out of date and you do not in fact need two needles, but she very kindly reiterated that that was the case. I asked her if she had any tips on what position I should be in for the injection, since we’d seen conflicting advice, and she didn’t have any tips but very kindly warned me that “the first one is always the hardest” and it would probably hurt and there might be some blood and basically there’s no right position but “we’ll figure it out” the more we do, which implies (more on this in a bit) that we’ll have to do many of these. Lol.

After all this drama, the shot barely hurt (tiny pinch), he got it all in there, there was a tiny bit of blood, everything is fine. It actually hurt so little that I’m paranoid we didn’t do it right, but you can’t fixate on these things!!! We both took a deep breath, referred back to our instructions for what to do tomorrow, and learned:

We only have to do this shot every other day. Cool!

I have to start taking vaginal suppositories (another form of progesterone) twice a day, and take them every day “until they tell me to stop.” A friend of mine who’s been taking them said they’re not that big a deal, just annoying to put in and then they slowly leak out of you for hours afterwards. Cool. Fun. Twice a day. Ha.

I also have to keep taking these shots “until they tell me to stop.”

Don’t tell my husband, but buried deep in that paperwork, I found another hidden gem: if your transfer works (big if, remember folks!!!), you have to take progesterone until your 10th week of pregnancy.

So looks like we’re in this one for the long haul! Back in the saddle! Don’t worry, I’m 100% sure I can handle this on top of buying and moving into a new house, maintaining social distancing, kicking ass at my stressful full-time job, and oh yeah keeping my husband from having panic attacks. Hahaha. Ha. Ha.

We go back in for monitoring on Sunday morning, and then the transfer is on Tuesday. Please wish us luck in both fertility and our sanity! Thanks!!!!!!

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bigskydreaming · 6 years ago

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LOL whoops, I was going through my Drafts folder to clean it out and found a post I started writing ages ago that includes scans from Uncanny X-Men #319 aka my very first comic book ever aka the reason I stan Bobby Drake above any and every character ever until the end of time, aka the comicbook I credit with literally saving my life when I was ten years old.

Which is when I bought it at Toys R Us with my Christmas money, and then was a direct catalyst leading to the night just a couple weeks later when I put my foot down at age ten and actually fought my parents on going to see my abusive birth mother anymore as I’d been forced to go to her apartment for weekly custody visits every Tuesday night for years so that my dad could pacify her father who was literally keeping my dad’s development company afloat singlehandedly with his funding, because Bobby blowing up at his bigoted asshole of a father and calling him out for being wrong was literally the first piece of media I can ever remember being exposed to where the hero told his parents they were wrong and didnt know what they were talking about and refused to be gaslit by them and where the narrative actually SUPPORTED them for this and justified it and said they were right and their parents were wrong, which I’d always deep down known to be true every time my parents tried to tell me WHY i had to see Jenny every week and sometimes we gotta do things even if we dont want to blah blah except I never knew what to say or how to refute their BS or call it out as wrong and was like....mostly convinced I was wrong for thinking they didnt know what was right or best, until Uncanny XMen #319 and Bobby literally validated my gut feeling that sometimes, parents are full of shit and you should say so, and then Rogue backed him up and further validated this, and so I did, I said so, and defied them for the first time ever because of it and I fully believe this literally saved my life because the thing that never failed to make Jenny actually violent instead of just delusional was when something threatened one of her delusions or exposed it as fake, and while a lot of fucked up shit happened in her apartment when I was kid the most persistent delusion she ever had and the one I heard about for years was her obsession with saying my REAL father was this guy named Peter she’d been stalking for years and who had a restraining order out on her and everything, except problem was, I look a LOT like my dad and that got more and more pronounced the older I got which in hindsight pretty obviously went hand in hand with how often/to what degree/in what ways she got violent with me as I aged, and based on how old I was by the time pretty much everyone I met commented on how much I looked like my dad and how uncanny it was, and how violent she got whenever someone, let alone me, poked holes in that specific delusion about Peter being my real father, I fully and completely believe I would not have made it to puberty if I hadn’t insisted on not seeing her anymore when I was ten if nothing else ever changed, and that is why I am so so hardcore on the subject of just how much fiction matters and can change lives and the importance of creative responsibility and being aware of our impact as content creators and have zero patience for ‘its just fiction’ because lolol fuck u, when I was ten years old a comic book literally showed me how to save my own life and put an end to my weekly abuse that stretched back years and that is also why Bobby Drake will always be my personal hero and I can not be remotely rational or objective about him and mostly don’t bother trying lololol

Annnnnyway, so guess who’s rereading Uncanny X-Men #319 right now and feeling all the Feels haha is it this dumbass? IT JUST MIGHT BE, WHOOPS.

#abuse cw

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