#except it is pretty much the only thing i think about

[writing-munchies]

NSFW HC'S— The Hanks, Amir & Abel x GN!Reader (MDNI)

A/N: This took…so much out of me, but I think this is one of my best works up to date, so I'm kind of okay with that. I'll probably go into hibernation after this lmao, enjoy! Sorry for any mistakes as English isn't my first language:]

WC: 5.3K

The Hanks

Hank #3 and Hank #1 are most likely to initiate sex, they are more open about things like that however Hank #5 is close to them, he might be a sweetheart, but he is a freak under all of that sweet demeanor.

They prefer to have sex with you as a group, they do everything together and that includes you. They all agree that filling up every single hole you have as they ruin you for any other object in the house as they stuff you full of their cum is pretty hot.

There’s going to be two of their cocks in one hole whether you’re AFAB or AMAB, one Hank will always be by your hole; his tongue licking and prodding at your hole as the sensations reach the Hank’s dicks that are pounding you so good you’ve never felt so full in your life. Whenever his tongue brushes against their cocks, a cacophony of moans will fill the room, mixing with your own. 

The foreplay consists of them encircling you like hungry hyenas, you’re on Hank #1’s lap as Hank #4 can’t keep his mouth off of yours, his tongue dipping into your mouth as he moans with every kiss makes your head spin. Hank #1 grinding onto you, Hank #3 messing with the hem of your pajamas as his other hand teases your sex through the fabric, biting his lower lip with a quiet whimper when he feels your arousal. Hank #2 and Hank #5’s mouths are usually on each of your nipples, or Hank #5 is sucking marks on your neck. When you close your eyes, it feels like the mouths and hands of only one person, like you’re being handled by something beyond you as their hands play with you just right to make you all obedient and ready for them. 

Your mouth, ass and/or cunt will be filled with cum, so much of it that it’s been dripping as they fuck into you, mixing with their own. It gets so messy that none of them can tell who’s cum that’s dripping out of your puffy lips. Sometimes, one Hank, typically Hank #2 gets you on his lap, forces your legs to spread —their strength will always make your brain short circuit— by gripping your thighs as Hank #4 fucks into you while whining and moaning breathlessly about how fucking good you take it, even as he’s so deep that he can feel every vein of his dick dragging in and out as he moves his hips. Hank #4 dirty talks without even meaning to, he’ll cum down your throat, “Fuck— you take it like your throat was made to take my dick, baby,” he’ll pin you down on the mattress, his hand keeping your head down as he arches your back with another so to have your ass flush against his pelvis, “Look at you, your hole’s practically begging for me to fill it ‘till it gushes out cum every,” thrust, “time”, thrust, “I fuck into you, so fucking gorgeous.” He can really lose himself in all the action sometimes, gets red in the face if you mention it to him after sex.

Sex with them, especially if you’re the one being penetrated, can get pretty intense with all of them except Hank #2. Hank #1 loves taking you from behind, he’ll make you arch into him by pulling you towards him with a grip on your elbows, his thrusts don’t really have a set rhythm; he fucks like he’s using you to get off. Hank #2 is more gentle, but he gets deep. He wants you to feel every drag, every drop of pre-cum, every vein as he thrusts slow but deep; hitting that sweet spot every time without fail as he watches you come undone under him with a flushed face. Hank #3 is more of a bottom, but he does like it when you ride him, he likes it fast and rough though— he wants you to make his cock hurt with how tight you’re squeezing him, how hard you’re slamming down on his pelvis as he cries out your name and claws the sheets in pure ecstasy. Hank #4 fucks fast but deep as well, he usually holds you down with one hand, he especially likes to hold you down as he puts a pillow under your hips; so you can feel everything even more as he’s holding you down with his hand on your stomach while fucking you. Hank #5 tries to be gentle and slow at first, but he really can’t help himself with how cute you’re moaning for him to go faster; so, he does. He holds you with a hug to ground himself as his hips piston his dick into your hole so deep you feel breathless with every single thrust, your nails dragging down his back as he hisses at the sensation, and you feel his hips stutter. They all cum inside you no matter what, just want to see how good they fucked you, how much of their cum you took, Hank #4 especially likes to press down on your stomach or finger your hole ‘till you cum again to see how good he filled you up.

Hank #3 and, #4 love giving you head. 

AMAB:  Hank #3 gets so turned on when you just put your dick on his face and watch how pretty he looks like that. He tries his best to take it in one go, but his gag reflexes still need a bit of work, so he just lets you set the pace and fuck his mouth instead. He moans so many times around your cock as you’re fucking into his mouth, his hands are either gripping your thighs or jerking himself off, he gets so turned on by being used by you, he can cum hands free just by the feeling of your cum going down his throat. He loves sucking on the tip the most, watching you with half lidded eyes as your hips buck up while you moan helplessly for him to just, “stop—fuck—teasing!” He just wants to watch you cum just from your tip being sucked, and your balls fondled, is that too much to ask?

Hank #4 just loves how easy you’re to ruin when he’s got your dick in his mouth. He licks along a vein as he moans about how good your cock feels on his tongue, makes a ring with his thumb and index finger around your tip as he sucks on your balls and fondles them with his other hand. He can take you in his mouth in one go, no problem. He will always make sure you cum in his mouth by having a grip on your ass with both hands and pushing you further down his throat. Moaning like a whore as you cum inside his mouth, his eyes roll back a little before he closes them and shivers, your sounds and the sensation of your cock throbbing and twitching against his cock has him so close to the edge he wants to touch himself as soon as he can— make you open your mouth as he cums on your face and makes you catch any stray droplets of cum.

AFAB: Hank #3 is an amazing pussy eater. He’s a little sloppy, but his eagerness makes up for it big time. Shockingly, or maybe not so shockingly, he has no trouble finding your clit. In fact, his mouth never leaves it. He’ll suck on it non-stop, moaning into it as it throbs against his tongue as his fingers are busy fucking your hole. When he does eat you out properly, his tongue inside you, pushing his face as close as he can, grinding his tongue down inside you; his hold on your thighs tight as he eats you out loudly. The sounds your cunt makes as you get wetter and wetter because of him is fucking heaven to his ears, poor thing can’t help but rut his hips down on the floor or the bed as you’re moaning and grinding your cunt down on his face; you taste so fucking good his nerves feel fried.

Hank #4 prefers to use his fingers more. Not that he doesn’t enjoy how good you moan as he buries his head in your cunt, fucking you with his tongue or using his tongue to taste every single drop of slick coming out of your hole, no— he just simply enjoys how you melt around his fingers. The way you arch off of the bed as he curls his fingers inside you just right, the way your toes curl as a wanton moan slips out from your gorgeous lips; it makes his dick so hard he can feel the blood rushing to it. He’ll make you cum around his fingers, “You look so cute like that, makes me wanna ruin you even more…”, he speeds the pace of his fingers as the thumb on his other hand keeps circling and rubbing your clit at the same time, watches you cum with pure want painted across his expression. Yes, he sucks your cum off his fingers and makes you watch.

Hank #1, #5 and, #2 love getting sucked off.

Hank #1 usually prefers to fuck your mouth. How you look mouth stuffed with his cock is the one he has wet dreams about damn near every night. His cock twitches and pumps out even more cum down your throat when he notices his cum is dripping from your chin. Very loud moaner, proud of it too. He does lose himself in it sometimes but if he feels you tapping his thighs he immediately stops, he cares a lot, your mouth just feels like heaven taking his dick. Taps your mouth if you don’t open up to show how good he ruined your tongue, he wants to see how good his cum looks on you, duh.

Hank #5 is so shy about it at the start. Will hide his face with his arm, moaning softly as he can’t help the way his hips buck when you suck on his tip, his moans are so breathless. If you want him to take that arm off of his face and look at you with a flushed face, take him in one go and give his balls a squeeze, he’ll whine your name in surprise and look down at you— his dick throbbing against your tongue when he does so. Will snap his hips up just to hear you choke a little, act innocent when you throw him a look, and whine out when you slap his thigh.

Hank #2 will be very worried about it at first, what if you don’t like how it feels in your mouth? What if he’s not the size you want? What if he cums so fast he embarrasses himself and never shows his face to you again? You reassure him that all you want to do is make him cum down your throat, from then he’s easier to convince. He can’t look away, the way you use your tongue has him flushed all over, biting his lips as he wills his hips to stay in place as you stroke his base and suck on his tip; will let out a moan so whorish you’ll look up at him in surprise. From then, he’ll have a hand over his mouth, but he can’t help the way he moans out your name when he’s so close, and you don’t stop the way your hands are fondling his balls and your head bobbing up and down on his cock— it’s too much, and it’s everything he wants.

Sometimes they’ll take turns watching as one of them fucks into you, all four of them so flustered yet too horny to look away as the other Hank is pounding into you, the way you groan and grind down even harder on his cock as you look over to them just— it’s so hard to not pounce on you. They all shout excitedly for him to cum inside you, they’re freaks in the way that when only one of them is fucking you their mouths will not stop:

“Look how good they’re taking you”,

“Fuck, they look so good all fucked out like that”,

“I can't wait 'till it’s gushing out of them”, etc.

Hank #1 thrusting into Hank #5 as he’ fucking into you, both you and #5 whining out when #1 pulls #5’s hair and starts pounding him, #5’s dick going even deeper inside of you as you wrap your arms around him, moaning into his neck as you feel his dick twitch inside you; already dripping pre-cum. Hank #1 bites his bottom lip as he groans, “You both look fucking gorgeous down there.”

Two or even three of them latching their mouths on your sex, just vying for a single lick as the rest of them are either making out with you or overstimulating your nipples. They love playing with you when you’re all helpless and pliant.

They blindfold you, take turns on either inside your mouth or inside your hole and make you guess which Hank it is, guess correctly, and you’re getting fucked with an inch of your life. If you fail…well, they’ve got ample time to make you memorize each vein, each tip and taste of them properly.

They love using the blindfold on you, it leaves you so adorably helpless against their antics. The way you shiver and twitch off of their touch when one of them joins in after another, it feels like one person's hands with how quiet they’re being just to soak up every little sound and reaction out of you. When one of their hands is cold, and they shove it down your pajamas, you moan quite loud, they found out.

Hank #1 holding you up by linking his arms under your knees as your back is pressed against his chest, hovering as he carries you like you weigh nothing at all. Hank #4 grips your ass, both of their cocks in one hole as a cacophony of moans fills the room, both of them going deep and hard, fucking you dumb as they use you like a rag doll.

When they inevitably get cum all over their thighs, their dicks soaked with it, usually you and Hank#3 are the ones that suck them off and lick them clean.

They fuck each other while fantasizing about all the times they’ve ruined you before, they’ll be deep in each other's asses or mouths whinging your name. Hank #4 and Hank #3 often get so worked up just thinking about you, the way they played with you last night or even last week and jerk each other off, telling each other how gorgeous you look as you took 2 dicks inside you, as ground down on their dicks like you were desperate for them to fill you up.

Aftercare is the best you’ll ever receive. Hank #1 and Hank #5 are typically the more ‘sober’ ones so, they either tell the others what to do as they clean you up and give you water, or they just take care of everyone themselves. Cuddles are so comforting and welcome with them, that many bodies against each other gets so soft you just melt. Two on the either side of your body, two hugging each leg and one of them with their head on your pelvis, it’s very comforting, but if you get overwhelmed they’ll always arrange a cuddle pile the way you want them to! 10000000000/10.

Amir

Only initiates if he thinks you want it too, his libido isn’t that high so you’ll be initiating most of the time and almost always he’s down for it. He’ll never pressure you into it, he isn’t a sore loser and doesn’t take a no as a personal attack, he just smoothly proposes another activity you’d be more willing to do. Absolute gentleman.

The best body worshipper, he leaves a trail of open-mouthed kisses starting from your neck to your sex in a slow but tantalizing pace as he never breaks eye contact with you. His lips are so soft, they kiss you so gently; as if he’s memorizing every curve and crevice of your body. Every arch, every shiver, every shake, every breath and every sound you make is sacred to him, he memorizes them like it’s the last time he’ll ever see, hear and feel you.

He has… sometimes masturbated in the rare occasion that you look at yourself in the mirror while being fully naked. He really couldn’t help himself, the way the sun was hitting your body and making your skin glow so ethereally had his dick standing up to attention in no time. His fingers trembling as you turn around to get a good look at your ass, his dick throbbing in his grip as he watches you just standing there and striking a few poses to see if you look good and oh, gods— of course, of course you do.

When he’s giving you head, tangle your fingers in his hair and pull on it, he’s so into it.

AMAB: Pull his hair and shove your cock down his throat in one go, make him choke on it a little and watch him melt under you with a moan around your cock. Have his hair in a grip with your fist as you fuck his mouth, the pain on his scalp makes him throb inside the fabric of his underwear.

AFAB: Pull his hair to grind your cunt down on his face, he’ll whine into your folds and his tongue will get even more desperate to taste every inch of you. Sit on his face and use his head as an anchor, dig your nails in his scalp as you cum around his tongue, his hips bucking up in desperation.

He’s actually into wax play, the way you shiver as the wax drips down onto your chest, the way your back arches as he coos at how gorgeous you look, he can never get enough of those moans and whine of his names. He loves the way your skin glistens, the way it shifts under the wax as you let out a shaky breath, the way it shivers under his fingers; ah, you’re a masterpiece. 

Another object that loves to see you melt on his fingers. He usually lays you down sideways and fucks you with his fingers so he can get deeper, watches your face and body with rapt attention as he curls his fingers inside you just right; it has your back arching onto his chest as he bites down on your neck, “Come on azizam, let me see you cum around my fingers, show me how good I make you feel, yeah?”

Makes you look in a mirror literally as he’s fucking you from behind, he’ll have your chin in a grip as his hips are pounding his dick into you, “Look at you, so incredible azizam, so sexy— you’re a sight to behold…” as he starts to snap his hips into you to watch your expressions as his cock gets deeper and deeper. 

Amir cannot shut up during sex. Will coo about how good your hole is sucking him in, how stunning you look as you’re crying out his name when he’s pumping his cum inside you. Will look into your eyes as you’re riding him, tell you how breathtaking you are as you bounce on his cock, every time you moan or whine at his compliments his dick throbs inside of you— he loves the effect his words have on you.

He has to see your face, whether you’re sucking him off, he’s giving you head, he’s fucking you or you’re fucking him; he has to see your exquisite face expressions as he’s ruining you on his cock the most, or he won’t be able to cum. 

Loves to cum on your face, he’ll be a little red as he’s doing this, but the way his cock is twitching against your lips tells you how much he likes it. How vulnerable and open you look as your face is painted with his cum gets him so high, he loves doing it to your sex too. Whether AMAB or AFAB, he wants to see your sex dripping with his cum; he’ll smear it and rub his cum all over your sex if he has to.

He's fucking into you from behind as one of his hands is using your waist to ground himself, his fingers will wrap around your dick/rub your clit like he’s trying to make you cum in 40 seconds as he changes his pace to a faster and deeper one; his cock hitting all the right places as he breathlessly moans for you to cum so he can feel you shake and shiver under him when he’s burying his cum inside you as deep as he can.

If you’re wearing some sort of jewelry, especially a necklace or bracelets, he loves the sound of them clinking against each other as he’s fucking you. If he could, he would adorn you in gold and silvers as much as it took for him to be satisfied and watch you hiss as they dig into your skin with every thrust from him; your reactions are everything to him.

A loud moaner when he’s bottoming, his legs will always wrap around your waist as you’re fucking into him, you are allowed to pull his hair but be a little careful won’t you? He gets so sensitive when he’s moaning. He wants to compliment you, but all that comes out of his pretty lips is just incoherent babbling as you hit his prostate over and over again.

He loves cock warming, wants to have you on his lap, cock all the way inside you; as deep as he can go. He’ll massage your thighs, kiss along your back and nape while whispering about how breathtaking you look on his dick, how gorgeous you look when you shiver against his chest as he’s cock’s throbbing inside you.

Sometimes he gets so caught up in watching you, how good you look, that he forgets to let out any sounds other than heavy breaths; he doesn’t even blink as much as he needs to, his attention focused solely on you. He is enraptured by anything that is you, it’s like watching a sculpting that was made so lovingly that one's heart aches with the same love the creator must have had. Whatever created you must have taken extra time, just foe you.

When you stop for a few seconds to catch your breath as you’re riding him, fucks up into you just to watch you moan in surprise and look at him with those wide, surprised eyes. He honestly loves watching you bounce on his cock as he’s thrusting up again and again, you just look so helplessly adorable as your thighs shake and your hips twitch.

He cleans any cum on you with his tongue, traces your sex with teasing strokes of his tongue, moaning and biting down on your thighs as he’s licking them clean; it’s honestly his favorite part. The way you shiver and moan for him so needily, so full and spent but still wanting more; so greedy for him, it has him so entranced by you. How shamelessly you want him, how much you want him.

He bites and sucks on your skin a lot, just to see some gorgeous marks on your skin the next time you’re looking in your mirror the next day. The way his marks look like art on your skin, the way it looks like his claim on you, has him shivering on the spot in the best way possible.

He is exceptional at aftercare, has water wet and dry towels, your favorite snacks everything at the ready. He’ll shower you in compliments that are so sincere it brings tears to your eyes as you listen to him, he’ll pull you towards his chest and kiss your forehead as he tells you how much he loves you, all of you, without a doubt. He’ll actually ready a bath ready for you, with the permission of Bathsheba, of course. Rose petals, bath bombs in the smell you always have on you, the temperature of the water just right to have you melt into it when you get in. He’ll never leave your side, will never get up and leave when you fall asleep, he wants to watch and see how you look when you’re asleep in the afterglow of the passion you both shared, “As expected, you’re absolutely gorgeous, azizam…”

Abel

He’s a gentleman, as much as he can be when you’re grinding down on him like you’re starving for him, the way his fingers twitch when you whine for him to hurry up tells you how hard he’s holding back. Initiates, but goes through 5 stages of grief in his head in 3 minutes before he does so, he gets so worried about saying the right thing.

He loves taking you in a full nelson, you’re so helpless and all dependent on him as his dick reaches impossibly deep into you, somehow hitting the sweet spot every time with every thrust, making you cry out his name breathlessly as you feel him twitch inside you. He wants to feel every drag of his cock against your walls, has to soak up every twitch and cry of his name that comes out of your gorgeous lips.

His favorite position is the mating press. He loves having this power over you in a way that he can use that power to make you reach stars in your mind every time you cum, in the way you moan and whine his name every time he buries his cock deep as he can go to fill you up just the way you want. Every ounce of physical power he has over you is always, always used for your own pleasure, he wants to see you feel good, lose your mind on his dick, he can never feel pleasure if you can’t. 

Going off of the mating press, whether you can get pregnant or not, this man has a breeding kink. Will put a pillow under your hips, makes sure to have you fold as much as he can, makes sure to drive his cock as deep as he can, until he feels you tighten around him and he feels your body shake. He will not stop until his cum is gushing out of your hole with every thrust. 

Of course, if you want him to be gentler, if you want him to take you on his lap, thrust in you deep but slow; he can do that too. He’s just been starved for a connection like the one you gave him, he gets so excited that he forgets to hold back sometimes.

The feeling of him on top is absolute heaven, there’s so much to grab and hold onto as he’s fucking into you with everything he’s got. His stamina is unmatched, he can go for hours if you want him to, he loves the feeling of you wrapped around him, especially when you tighten around him, he groans out your name and so much pre-cum leaks out inside you, you’d think he just came. He is in control, but he’s also extremely sensitive to every little thing you do.

Loves a blowjob. The sight of you on your knees, looking up at him as his thick cock is stuffed inside your mouth? Heaven on earth. The way your throat tightens, and you choke a little when he buries his dick down your throat as he cums has his toes curling, whining your name as loud as he can.

He needs reassurance sometimes, he’ll give it right back, though. Like when he got naked around you the first time, he just needed to be coaxed out of his shell a little, and he’ll compliment your own body lovingly as he’s feeling you up. He’s a sucker for sweet little moments between sex, when you plant a kiss on the tip of his nose after he’s just come inside of you has his heart thumping like its never done before.

Tease him without the glasses on, grind on him. Fuck yourself on the table as you use your fingers to make yourself cum all over him, when you put them on; naked humping will be the only way he’ll let you cum.

Loves the sensation of your tongue on his body, especially his neck and earlobe. He’ll shiver and moan your name so sweetly if you nip at his inner thigh before going down on him. Every single sensation or feeling you can give him, he’ll eat it up right away.

If you wear his clothes and tease him about it, he’s not letting you take them off until they’re soaked with cum. Oh, you think you look cute with his shirt on you? You’re about to look adorable as every button pops when he’s pounding into you so hard your body can’t stay in one place, he’s not letting you go ‘till that shirt is wet with your cum.

As said before, he loves every and any sensation you can give him so, when you scratch his back as he’s fucking into you so deep you can feel every vein and drag of his cock so vividly inside you, he’ll whine like a whore and beg for you to do it harder as his hips stutter and his dick throbs inside you. 

Loves fucking your thighs. Has a death grip on your thighs as his cock head keeps getting trapped between your thighs because of how hard you’re squeezing his cock. His hands will always find your nipples when he’s close to cumming though, his dick twitching and throbbing like he’s fucking you for the first time as you moan so sweetly with every flick of his finger on your nipples. Curses under his breath as he shoves two fingers inside your mouth and fucks between your thighs harder, his cum already spread all over your inner thighs; so much pre-cum drips from his tip you’d think he’s already come.

Tie him up, make sure they’re tight and keep him in place properly. Take his dick in your mouth, have one of your hands play with his balls as you bob your head up and down on his dick like you’re trying to milk him for all he’s worth, and watch as he becomes a whining, broken mess under you in minutes. Riding him in this state is also guaranteed to make him start moaning and begging to cum inside you like an insatiable whore, he won’t stop blabbering and pleading as his cock twitches and throbs inside you, trying so hard not to cum until you tell him to do so. Will start crying if you keep going right after he just came inside of you, he gets so sensitive when you’re the one on top, every touch, every kiss and every bounce of your hips on his dick feels scalding hot and fries his nerves in the best way possible.

His aftercare is amazing. He’ll be a little shy and let out small, quiet giggles as you kiss all over his face after it. He does get carried away, but this man never, ever forgets your needs. Water, snacks, or even a blanket, whatever you require, he’s made a mental note, and they’re always at the ready. Along with the best damn cuddles you’ll have with one object in the house, he’s so soft and safe, whenever you’re in his arms he makes it feel like home, so easy to fall asleep when he’s hugging you so tight and whispering sweet nothing's as he kisses your forehead, temple, and neck.

[chrizzzbang]

Pretty Boy Problems

pairing: Lee Felix x Female Reader

wc: 2.2k

cw: explicit sexual content, smut, unprotected sex, public setting, light power dynamics (celebrity + staff) (not proof read) (lmk if I missed anything

Minors DNI

Requested

Summary: As Stray Kids’ makeup artist, you always keep things professional, especially around Felix. But he notices your cool distance, your stiff touches, and wonders why you treat him differently from the others. After a high-energy show and an excuse to return backstage, Felix finally confronts you.

Felix wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, honestly. He just happened to walk in while you were mid-laugh, brushing something from Hyunjin’s cheek with a flick of your finger.

You were glowing, easy, playful. The kind of energy that made people lean in.

Except when it came to him.

“Hyunjin, you always crease here,” you murmured, thumb gently pressing at the corner of his eye. “I swear, you make my job harder on purpose.”

Hyunjin only grinned in that smug older-brother way and wiggled his brows. “Maybe I like being manhandled by you.”

You snorted, swatted his shoulder, and moved on. No flustered reaction, no awkwardness. Just relaxed banter.

And when your gaze finally slid to Felix, everything changed.

The smile dimmed. Your voice levelled out. That warmth in your eyes shuttered like you’d pulled down a screen.

“Felix, you’re next.”

Same words you said to everyone else. But with him, they always felt like a formality. Like a closed door.

He sat down in the makeup chair, posture too straight, fingers clenched in his lap. You stood in front of him, your expression perfectly composed. Professional. Detached.

Too detached.

He watched your hands, the way you held the sponge, the soft press to his skin, the light brush of powder. You never lingered, never touched him longer than necessary.

It drove him insane.

He tried to crack the shell. “You know,” he said lightly, “if you don’t stop being so gentle with me, I might start thinking you’re scared of me.”

Your hand paused for half a second. Just half.

Then you continued like nothing had happened. “Wouldn’t want to mess up your skin. Stay still.”

He bit his tongue.

The others got teased. Shoulder squeezes. Playful smirks. You ruffled Seungmin’s hair once and made a joke about his baby face. You complimented Chan’s cologne and winked.

But with him? Always business.

Was it the way he looked? Was he just too much? Or not enough?

You stepped back, looked at his face critically, and nodded. “All done. You’re good to go.”

He stood slowly, brushing off invisible lint. “Thanks.”

You’d already turned away, cleaning off your palette. Like you couldn’t wait to be done with him.

He left the room with a tight jaw and a sour twist in his stomach.

He didn’t know what he’d done wrong, but whatever it was, it was driving him crazy.

You were alone now, finally. The rush was over. Brushes cleaned, palettes closed, your little station nearly spotless again. Just the low thump of bass leaking through the walls and the buzz of fluorescent lights overhead.

The door creaked open behind you.

You didn’t even turn. “Did one of you forget something again?”

“No,” came Felix’s voice. “Well. Yeah. Kinda.”

You glanced over your shoulder.

He was leaning against the doorframe. There was a faint smudge of foundation near his temple, barely visible, honestly, but it was there. A little streak from where someone must’ve bumped into him backstage.

You blinked. “Seriously?”

He shrugged. “Hyunjin said it looked bad. Said I should come back and let you fix it.”

You rolled your eyes, already reaching for a clean sponge. “He’s got a worse eye for makeup than he does for fashion.”

But as he stepped back into the room, there was something different in the air, tense, electric. He didn’t joke. Didn’t fidget. Just moved toward your chair and sank into it slowly, like he was settling in for something heavy.

You kept your movements precise. Quiet.

Until you felt it, his eyes on you. Not just looking. Watching.

You looked up, sponge paused near his cheek. “What?”

Felix’s brows furrowed just slightly. “Do I make you uncomfortable?”

The words hit you like cold water.

You blinked. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re different with me.” His voice was soft, but there was something simmering underneath it. “You act like I’ve got a fucking disease or something. Like you don’t wanna touch me unless you absolutely have to.”

Your hand lowered, slowly. “Felix-”

“I watch you,” he cut in. “With the others. You joke. You laugh. You don’t flinch when they get close. But with me?” His jaw clenched. “You barely look at me. You treat me like I’m just… a pretty face you can’t wait to finish painting and get rid of.”

The venue was quiet now. The kind of quiet that only settles in after chaos, backstage doors half-closed, stray cords coiled in corners, makeup lights dimmed to a low hum.

You were alone again, packing up brushes one by one. Moving slowly. Methodically. Like if you stayed busy enough, you wouldn’t think about how Felix had looked at you earlier.

That line still echoed in your head:

“I watch you. With the others.”

You hadn’t replied. Couldn’t. He was gone before you found the words.

The door clicked open behind you.

You stiffened, heartbeat thudding. Then, “Forgot my phone.”

You turned.

Felix stood there, hair still damp from sweat, hoodie hanging loose off one shoulder. His voice was low, unreadable, like he didn’t even believe the excuse himself.

You nodded toward the counter. “It’s there.”

He stepped forward, picked it up, but didn’t leave.

Didn’t move at all, actually.

Just held the phone loosely in his hand, then looked up at you like he was deciding something. Like maybe he’d finally stopped holding back.

“You like me.”

The words landed sharp. No hesitation. No question.

Your throat tightened. “Felix-”

“Don’t lie.” His voice dropped lower. “I make you nervous. You can’t even touch me the way you touch them.”

You swallowed hard, gripping the edge of the makeup table. “That doesn’t mean I’m allowed to act on it.”

“So you do want to.”

You froze.

His gaze raked over you, soft, slow, filled with so much heat you swore your skin lit up in its path. “You think I haven’t noticed? The way your hands shake sometimes? How you look at my mouth and then look away like you’ve done something wrong?”

You opened your mouth, maybe to argue, maybe to deny it, but the look on his face made your breath catch.

He took a step closer.

“I wanted it to be your hands, you know,” he said, voice rough. “Every time one of the other staff touched me, I wished it was you instead.”

Another step. Close enough that you could smell the lingering cologne on his hoodie, warm and woody and him.

“I thought you didn’t like me,” he whispered. “But now I get it.”

You barely had time to inhale before his hand came up, brushing your jaw. Gentle. Careful.

“You like me too much.”

His fingers traced your jaw slowly, each delicate stroke sending sparks rippling through your nerves. Your breath hitched, eyes locking on his, dark, intense, burning with a hunger you couldn’t ignore.

Then, without warning, he closed the small gap between you, claiming your mouth with a kiss that was fierce and demanding, yet tinged with a desperate tenderness. His lips moved against yours like he was trying to memorize every curve, every sigh, every soft gasp.

Your hands tangled into the hem of his hoodie, clutching fabric as if to anchor yourself. His tongue teased yours open, and the kiss deepened, growing hotter, rougher, his need evident in the slight tremble of his hands as they slid from your jaw to your shoulders, pulling you flush against him.

You stumbled back, bumping against the cold edge of the makeup counter. The smooth, polished surface pressed against your spine, grounding you even as your pulse soared. Felix’s hands roamed down your sides, tracing the delicate line beneath your shirt, fingertips feather-light but purposeful.

His mouth left yours for a moment, trailing hot, urgent kisses down your neck, teeth grazing softly along the sensitive skin there, marking you with invisible promises. You shivered, arching your neck, giving him better access, your fingers threading through his damp curls.

“Been wanting this for so long,” he murmured, his voice rough and low, thick with emotion. “Wanting you.”

Your lips parted, breath catching in your throat as his hands moved expertly to pull your shirt over your head. The cool air of the room kissed your bare skin, making you acutely aware of every nerve ending. Felix’s eyes roamed you hungrily, taking in the curve of your collarbone, the swell of your breasts.

Your own hands slid beneath his hoodie, feeling the heat radiating from his skin, the hard planes of his chest beneath the soft fabric. You traced slow circles over his ribs, memorizing the texture of him as his lips returned to yours with renewed hunger.

The dance between your mouths grew more urgent, tongues slipping and tangling, hands exploring without hesitation. Felix’s fingers slipped beneath your skirt, sending an electric thrill straight to your core. He was warm and steady, gentle and commanding all at once.

Your breath hitched as his fingers found their way beneath your underwear, teasing your most sensitive spot with slow, deliberate strokes. The slick heat pooling between your legs was immediate and intense.

He pulled back just enough to murmur against your lips, “You’re so beautiful.”

Your hands clenched at the edge of the counter as he slid you back until your knees hit the edge, giving him full access. Felix’s mouth left your lips to travel lower, kissing the hollow of your throat before dipping to brush over your exposed skin beneath your skirt.

Every touch was a spark, every kiss a wildfire racing through your veins. His breath was warm and ragged, and when his tongue flicked against your sensitive skin, a soft moan escaped your lips.

“You feel so perfect,” he whispered, lifting your hips slightly to get better leverage. “Want to taste you.”

You shivered, nodding, gripping his hair as he lowered his mouth to the most sensitive part of you. His tongue was soft and skilled, circling, flicking, and pressing in just the right way that your whole body tensed in exquisite pleasure.

Your hips moved involuntarily, chasing the delicious sensation as waves of heat rolled through you.

When he finally kissed back up your body, you were trembling, your breath ragged.

Felix caught you by the waist, lifting you gently off the counter. His hands slid under your thighs as he steadied you against his chest. His lips met yours in a fierce, hungry kiss that stole your breath.

He pulled away just long enough to strip off his shirt, revealing toned skin slick with sweat, muscles taut and alive.

Your hands ran down his chest, memorizing the hardness beneath your touch.

Then, with a slow, deliberate motion, he aligned himself with you. The first touch was feather-light, almost teasing, before he pressed in fully, slow and deep, filling every inch with a delicious fullness.

You gasped, nails digging into his back as he began to move.

His rhythm was steady and sure, hands holding you tight, his breath hot against your ear.

Each thrust sent waves of pleasure crashing through you, your bodies moving together in perfect, fiery sync.

Your moans echoed softly around the empty room, mingling with the low thrum of music still playing somewhere nearby.

Felix’s lips found your neck again, biting gently, marking you as his own.

“Say it,” he growled. “Say you want me.”

Your voice came out trembling but fierce. “I want you. All of you.”

He smiled against your skin before picking up the pace, hands gripping your hips as he lost himself in the moment.

When you finally reached the edge together, it was explosive, a shattering rush of heat and release that left you both gasping, trembling.

Felix lowered you carefully back onto the counter, his forehead resting against yours.

The room felt still now, the echoes of your racing hearts slowly settling into a calm rhythm. Felix shifted beside you on the counter, careful not to jostle the soreness blooming between your legs.

He brushed a damp curl from your forehead, his fingers gentle, as if afraid you might shatter.

You leaned into his touch, letting out a shaky breath.

His thumb traced lazy circles over your bare shoulder, eyes soft and a little shy.

“Sorry if I was… intense,” he murmured, voice low.

You smiled, fingers curling over his wrist. “Don’t apologize. I’ve wanted this just as much.”

He chuckled quietly, warmth flooding his gaze. “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.”

You snuggled closer, the cool surface beneath you contrasting with the heat pooling inside your chest.

Felix’s hand slid under your hair, fingers threading through the strands with effortless ease.

For the first time, the distance between you felt gone, replaced by something solid, something real.

You sighed happily, resting your head against his shoulder.

“Pretty boy problems,” you whispered with a grin.

He kissed the top of your head, laughter soft and full of promise.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Only the best.”

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Warning, analysis about c!Pearl in DL, this is about the character!

Something that’s always baffled me about the fandom perception of Double Life Pearl is that in some sectors she is treated like someone who went off the deep end and just started slaughtering people, like she killed so many people. And like. She literally just didn’t do that. (Which could be the title of any analysis of Double Life Pearl: She literally didn’t do that) I know her kills were memorable and they were cool but they were also only in the last session when there was almost no one left?

Like let’s be fr, the people left were Pearl, Scott, Martyn, Cleo, Impulse, and Bdubs. Pearl was at least somewhat aligned with the rest of the DQ, so literally who else was there to kill except Impulse and Bdubs? And yeah the way she did was to pretty impressively 2v1 them while shouting about how they killed her dogs (which might sound a little crazy but given the context of how much she loved her dogs makes sense), but still that’s only 2 kills, which in the context of Double Life is one kill. And then after she’s picked Bdubs and Impulse’s stuff up and sorted through it, she found Cleo and she doesn’t even attack first. Martyn, who was hiding in the trees, started shooting at her (and yelling some frankly insane nonsense of his own about how Tilly was somehow corrupting Pearl?) and so literally of course Pearl retaliated? That’s not psycho killer behavior that’s self defense.

Like Pearl has 4/2 kills in Double Life, half of those are just the only people left on the server she wasn’t aligned with and half of those are a self defense kill… I’m not really seeing where we’re getting this idea that 5AM Pearl just slaughter people indiscriminately from.

Secret Life is a different story I will say. During the whole Murder Camel thing I think Pearl killed like 4 people for no reason. Which like, girlboss. I just think if we’re gonna describe any Pearl as killing a ton of people for no reason, we should at least be accurate about which one!

[sugar-sweet-poison]

The Popularity of Each Saja Boy Among the KPDH Fandom

So I never actually expected to be putting anything resembling analysis on this blog (it was supposed to be for rebloging art and other shenanigans), but here we are.

I recently watched Danny Motta's reaction/review of Kpop Demon Hunters. If you haven't watched it, you absolutely should. Danny is a gem. Anywho, this post contains spoilers for his review, so if you care about spoilers then I recommend watching his video first.

When the Saja Boys are performing Soda Pop, Danny comments on what he thinks the popularity of each boy is and...well...he was very wrong. And it made me start to wonder why each of the boys are as popular as they are in the fandom.

(full spoilers for his video as relevant to this post below the cut)

So Danny thought the order of popularity was Romance, Abby, Mystery, and then Jinu and Baby tied for last place (though when Baby started rapping, Danny jumped him up to the third spot). Anyone who has spent even a little bit of time in the fandom knows he is very wrong. From what I've seen, Jinu is the top, then Baby, then Mystery, then Abby, then Romance. After some thought, I came to some conclusions as to why this might be the case.

Jinu is pretty self-explanatory. He is a main focus, the second half of the main romance, gets a backstory, has the most speaking lines and character development, etc. etc. etc. I'm not gonna spend too much time on Jinu cause it's pretty obvious why he gets the top spot. My real interest here is the other Saja Boys who get next to nothing in the film, but are massively popular regardless. Except Romance. While I don't exactly see Romance get hate, he definitely isn't as adored as the others and I think I know why.

Romance is the only one without a thing. He has no ongoing gimmick or trope or trait that is prominent throughout the film. We clearly can see what he is meant to represent, but there's really nothing that persists in the movie that shows it. Now think about the others.

We have Zoey's massive crush on Mystery that pops up several times during the movie. The dude literally barks at people. He also has the whole thing going on with his face being partially obscured which naturally makes people curious as to what he looks like (plus the demon fangs peek we got when he was introduced). Abby has several running gags focused around his abs. There's the popcorn gag, there's the conveniently placed breeze that constantly flashes everyone, and there's the camera always focusing in on his abs. The dude literally makes pencil rubbings of his abs to sign for fans. On top of that, he has himbo vibes, so people were gonna be on that like rabid squirrels. Plus when Mystery and Abby are banished, there is a specific focus on them. Mira makes a point about going for the abs (while having the popcorn eyes) and Zoey has one last thirst hurrah before sending Mystery back to the demon realm (which, added bonus, is a Mystery face reveal that only she gets to see). And Baby rocked everybody's world in their very first performance by having the sweet adorable face and then hitting everyone with the deepest voice in the group plus being the rapper. He also gets a moment in the spotlight when he wins the hot sauce competition and then is riding on Abby's back (more on him later because the Baby Saja craze is fascinating to unpack, he my fav too lol).

All of this is happening with the other Saja Boys, but Romance is...just kinda there? Yes, he has his in-universe shipping with Mira, but even that is shared with Abby. He's got the little hearts, but again, Baby does that too. Romance has nothing specific to him. The closest thing he has is that he has a very distinctive face and hairstyle, but that kind of works against him. The hair is fine, but his face is such a different shape from the others and is so much sharper that it actually feels out of place among the other boys. The boys have unique faces, but they still feel cohesive. If Romance had a softer jawline, it would probably feel better with the group. So the only thing he really has the separates him doesn't do it in a good way.

And if we take a deeper look at how Mystery, Abby, and Baby are handled in the movie, we also realize that their gimmicks do something very specific: they persist even when the boys themselves are not in the scene.

Think about it. We literally see Zoey start thirsting over a picture of Mystery. He's not even there, but he is still a momentary focus in the scene. Same with Mira hitting the punching bag with a picture of Abby's abs taped to it and yelling about how much she hates abs. Both involve and call focus to Mystery and Abby without them having to interact with HUNTR/X or even be in the scene.

And then there is the phenomenon that is Baby Saja. Literally one line in the entire movie, and yet rivals Jinu for the most popular. Why? I have a few ideas. The first is one that people probably can guess: his design is heavily based on Jimin from BTS, arguably the member that people would be able to name even if they aren't into Kpop. So that's already a win for him. Then there's the face and voice whiplash which creates an unforgettable moment very shortly after he's introduced. I have watched several reaction videos for this movie and nearly every single one of them comments when Baby starts rapping because they are so shocked by his voice. There are also a lot of subtle animation bits that build up throughout the movie (the side eye at Zoey, the smirk at HUNTR/X, etc.) that don't match the sugar sweet image he shows to the public. Then they hit us with Your Idol and this subtly is straight up kicked off stage and he goes feral (and viral, ironically). People love that looks like a cinnamon role but will kill you trope. And even with all of this, Baby has one more massive advantage over the others.

The music.

Because people aren't just hearing the songs when they're watching the movie. They're listening to the music on YouTube, Spotify, etc., and in both songs the Saja Boys sing, Baby has a rap sequence. I'm sure after listening to each song a few times, people could tell the voices apart to know who was singing when, but people needed no time at all for that when it came to Baby because he essentially got solo sequences where his voice stood out from the others, even Jinu. And in the actual performances, he is the focus of the moment, whereas otherwise it's usually Jinu, all of the boys, or rapidly bouncing focus. Very rarely does it linger on any of the boys for too long, let alone do so in a way that shows individual personality beyond their archetype. During Soda Pop, you have Baby taking center stage while the rest of the boys act like backup dancers. Then during Your Idol, the other boys are so spread out across the entire stage that the focus is locked in on Baby. Plus Gwi-Ma's fire is pulsing in the background as he rises up from the demon realm, further intensifying the scene. The only other person who gets this much attention is Jinu.

Given all he has going for him, I'm not even the slightest bit surprised that Baby Saja has exploded the way he has. All the while poor Romance has nothing. The boy can't compete. Considering that he and Baby were the ones who escaped being sent back to the demon realm though might make for some interesting development if the teams chooses to bring the boys back into the situation. He does seem to be the one that people are leaning on for shipping with Mira if they only pick one the boys, which is very intriguing.

Alright that's all I got I suck at endings bye!

[blorb-el]

Have you seen the new Superman movie! What did you think?

OKAY I FINALLY GOT TO WATCH IT.........

ok. ok. on the whole it was good. BUT. i got baited SO fucking bad.

i saw lex using bullshit hyperspace technology. i saw clark not having the entirety of the recording. and i fucking. got BIRTHRIGHT BAITED

IM STARTING A JOR-EL AND LARA DEFENSE LEAGUE RIGHT FUCKING NOW

ok. my guiding principle about retellings is: if you're gonna change a fundamental aspect of the story you're retelling, you'd better have a goddamn excellent reason.

and i understand that the central message of the story being 'you decide who you are in the end, not your parents, and clark chooses to be superman' makes this one of only TWO superman movies ever to get that.

(therefore: superman (2025) joins superman and the mole men (1952) as the only Good and True superman movies.)

(my gripe with superman 1978 is that while its a good movie wrt The Superman Vibes the 'message' is set up with marlon brand-el going do NOT change human history and christopher reeve going im gonna change history yippee and there's no message except Superman Does What He Wants Lol. my gripe with mos is while in-universe cav-el is pretty much a guy trying to do his best who has been placed in a little bug jar by mr. znyder which contains an inescapable trolley problem and despite Superman's Thing is that he's able to simply punch the trolley off the tracks hes not allowed to in that film therefore nuking The Superman Vibes. 😔)

anyway. i got baited soooo fucking bad by the Go Take Over Earth message not being faked. mr. gunn what the FUCK was that. i know you read birthright come back here right fucking now mr. gunn There's A Better Way.

so what do you get out of the choice to have jor-el and lara send kal to earth because he'll get superpowers so he can take it over and get a harem?

the positives are: you get clark some emotional upheaval, and you get "i may have been sent here to conquer but it doesn't matter because i choose to be superman"

(you could also argue you get the subversion of alien invasion archetype but here's the Thing (<-alien invasion pun). the story of superman pretty much predates that, at least in the public consciousness. so whatever)

but here's what you fucking lose: moses. and you lose a huge part of the clarity of the immigrant narrative.

moses: if you're reading my blog i assume you know about the moses:superman parallels, and also have thought about the resonance with jewish people fleeing the holocaust. down the fuckin drain if you make jor and lara imperialists

superman is still an immigrant yeah. but literally a fucking sleeper agent type immigrant??? the dangerous kind who wants to come to america, the enemy among us who wants to conquer us and genetically supplant us?????????? HELLO????????????????

me sitting in the movie theater going: hell yeah he's gonna do birthright. hell yeah he's gonna do lex using the gut wrenching lie about krypton's nature. hell yeah this space portal thing is fucking up and it's gonna....show the real ending thus.....setting up... the....emotional debt............................ oh...........never mind......(sadantbindle.jpg)

anyway. fucking baited. god i fucking hate evil jor-el every SINGLE time

everyone immediately believing the message and superman's adherence to it specifically about the harem thing is cringe. even setting aside the Impies above

ok enough negativity. there were many parts i liked

saving everyone <3

krypto was cute <3 though i wish a Real Dog was used way more if it was used at all

lois was good! the interview was really tight writing

speaking of the interview. i did NOT expect this movie to be so directly tied to '78. but an interesting mirror moment there where unlike in '78 the interview is them clashing in their established relationship (instead of (delightfully) being off the wall horny for each other thus beginning their relationship ('78))

i'm on vacation and didn't bring my adhd meds. can you tell

i was skeptical about so many other misc superheroes but it worked out really well as foils for clark as well as inspiring them forwards.

except for when hawkgirl murdered the head of state and it was never mentioned again lmao. that was kind of cheap.

jimmy was on the ok side of mid which frankly is the best jimmy we've gotten since ohhhhhhh idk how he is in smallville but he's bad even in stas so. probably jack larson.

yeah i 100% did not expect the return of miss tessmacher. and just like in the first film its kind of bewildering why lex would want to date her. even if just for horny reasons its not like we see him being horny towards her.

i would like to congratulate the clex people on this film. im not one of you but im glad you got fed.

also shout out to otis burg lmao. good cameo

multiple points during this movie i was like GOD i need to get back to wsbf. lmao (for anyone wondering i'm desperately trying to finish my big bang fic first. then wsbf takes top priority again, with a dream too bright being for when i need a little breaky from wsbf.)

anyway. clarkie. for all the above complaining. he was really good. really good. my boy......

my lil guy who actually returns over and over again to the point that people are going to die, lois, and yes these are concerns and she 1000% should hammer him on them but people were going to die.

i thought it was odd that superman has been around for three years and clois have been dating for three months and yet this was apparently the first lois:superman interview in those three months. then again i can see this as being interestingly avoidant character flaw on clark's part but i do think he cares at least a little more about journalistic ethics than that

but then again i find politely and subtly interpersonal relationship conflict avoidant clark to be an extremely underrated character trait (one of the best things about all-star) and i'm happy that was shown in this movie

but yes he WILL kidnap a dictator and dangle him off a cactus and get soo fucking mad when he's afraid lex has killed krypto.

of the various foils i liked metamorpho being a little corner dweller nevertheless with the decency to be shocked into action by the death of the hostage. kind of everyman.

over the past few months i've been streaming DCAU episodes in the superbat discord. and goddddddd thank you mr gunn and writers for actually putting so much thought into the fights. fights where Someone Pulls Out Kryptonite and superman goes down: i snooze. fights where clarky is still recovering from kryptonite poisoning and is fighting the pull of a black hole AND IS PROTECTING A FUCKING BABY!!!!!!!!!!! I WAKE!!!!!!!!! THAT SHIT IS TOP TIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

godddddd yeah. the problem isn't how to kill the kaiju the problem is how to subdue it so it can be moved out of harm's wayyyyy. and yeah euthanizing it as a last resort. because clarky sees the value in all life.

except the clone i guess. into the black hole that thing goes. goodbye maybecouldhavebeenkon. disappointing that clark never tried to talk to the clone, why would he be less deserving of a 'my creator/parents sent me here to [do terrible thing] but maybe i won't' than clark himself?

((i think this deep into this unmedicated ramble im gonna spoil a wsbf plot point: lex has a faulty clone that he can essentially pilot very similarly to this movie, only in there i make it clear that it's an unstable bizarro pretty much actively falling apart. this clone looked too normal to be a bizarro, if it was meant to be nonsentient they should have had one of the scientists specify that, not lex, who would have called any clone of superman stupid no matter how much cognitive capacity/sentience it had. this entire bullet point is an I Came Up With It First))

ok also slightly miffed at clark's Big Speech moment going "i'm human!!!" once again taking the alien:immigrant lens and gently tossing it out of the way like a frisbee. its the distinction between being human and being humane. sigh. we know superman's a person we just watched a movie about it

the monkeys were too literal. funny visual gag but too literal, and also don't fit into lex's worldview

also lex's lady minion whose name was not mercy: i wish she had a clearer motivation

mr. terrific was pretty cool. he seemed to go from ehh to all-in pretty quickly but maybe that was just the sheer professional annoyance of lex's bullshit science

i'm on vacation and i saw it with my parents and one of my older brothers. my dad liked krypto and pretty much nothing else. my mom thought it was okay and liked corenswet's acting but was a little -_- about the amount of gratuitous cleavage. my brother thought it was ok and despite my attempts to explain does not see any particular problem with the 'jor and lara were actually conquerers' twist.

but i do. free my milf4dilf couple they 1. were not milf4dilf NEARLY enough in this movie make hotter decisions please casting and costuming 2. they did NOT do all that!!!!!!!!!!!

superman movies tend to be an overreaction to the flaws of the last major piece of superman media (see: '78 leaning on romance vs george reeves' lack of it, mos/dceu being About power and its consequences reacting to Superman II's Manhattan brawl with 0 consequences and DCAUclark's ineffectiveness). id say this movie did a decent job at not over-overreacting to in this case the dceu's perceived grimdarkness, and only occasionally descended into eyerolling hokiness, which on the whole is a more idiomatic side to err on when it comes to superman

overall good!! 2nd best superman movie ever made.* mole men still better though #MOLEMENSWEEP

*still have not seen superman 3 and 4: the quest for peace. disliked 2 so much it knocked all the wind out of me for those 2

**returns should probably be in b tier if i were more impartial but i haven't seen it in a long time and have a grudge against the plot and also rewatching it means i gotta put up with the work of two different sexual predators so you can understand why i have not rewatched in a While

***ok it's a much more even tie between this movie and '78 partially because this movie has SO much more to draw on. '78 created the fucking genre. i liked this movie, but there was very, very little innovation in it. it's just where they're placed on the timeline of the genre. for the same reason its not all that fair to compare what mole men is trying to do to what '78 is trying to do. but i think it's funny and it's also part of me being a horrible little superman hipster. it's also why i rate the dceu higher than i think a lot of my friends do. i admire its ambition to be more, even while the execution didn't live up to it.

[adaine]

⁸⁴⁾ “are you sure you’re not mad at me?” + landoscar (or dealer's choice, if you're not vibing)

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” he hears Lando ask.

Oscar had thought he was alone by now. Silverstone’s over and the team’s gone to celebrate. He figured that if he napped in his driver’s room and waited a bit, he’d be late enough leaving the paddock that the only people he’d run into would be Alpine staff caught up in a late debrief.

He hadn’t expected to find Lando, half-asleep on a chair in McLaren hospitality instead of in a club somewhere partying.

“Why are you still here?” he asks. He doesn’t mean for it to come off as snippy, but he can see hurt in Lando’s furrowed brow.

“I don’t know,” Lando shrugs, not quite meeting his eyes. “Wanted to make sure we were good, I guess. You seemed off, after.”

No shit, he was off. The win was meant to be his, and it was torn from him by a stupid fucking penalty. And sure, Lando was the one to benefit off it and he’s nipping at his heels in the driver’s standing, but that doesn’t mean he’s the right target for Oscar’s frustration. He’s mature enough to see that.

“Well, I’m not mad at you,” he tells him.

Lando frowns. “I’m not sure that I believe you.”

He snorts. “It’s not your fault. If I start holding your wins against you, I reckon this whole growing old together thing wouldn’t quite pan out.”

“Romantic,” Lando jokes, reaching over to pat the chair across from him. “I suppose we should have a proper chat then.”

Oscar doesn’t want to talk about the race. He’s spent all night avoiding calls from Mark Webber, Logan, and his mum. That’s how much he does not want to talk about the race.

He finds himself sitting next to Lando anyway. It’s late, and he’s there, and he looks stupidly soft in an oversized team sweatshirt with the hood pulled over his curls.

“If I were going to be mad at anyone, it would be Max,” he tells him, hoping it’ll strike the tension from his shoulders. “He’s the one that can’t stop complaining on the radio.”

Lando perks up in interest. “Are you mad at Max?”

After thinking about it for a second, he shakes his head. “I’m mad at the stewards.”

“Lot of pricks, aren’t they?” Lando nods along.

“I don’t want to talk about the race,” he tells him finally. He can’t hash this out right now. “Except to say congratulations, I guess. It’s your home race. You shouldn’t be holed up in hospitality with me at half ten.”

“Well, I did fall asleep,” he defends. “Wasn’t just wringing my hands all night like a fucking idiot.”

He says it like he was wringing his hands all night like an idiot. Not that Oscar thinks he’s an idiot.

“So you didn’t eat?” Oscar asks, furrowing his eyebrows. “Winning your home race at least calls for a nice meal.”

“Snagged a croissant that never made it off the catering cart.” He wrinkles his nose. “It was quite stale, actually. Totally not worth the empty calories.”

Lando won his home race in front of pretty much his entire family, and he’s been stuck here waiting for Oscar all night, while they’re probably waiting on him. He isn’t sure whether he should feel touched or guilty.

“Well, all I’ve had is half a protein bar,” he replies, cautiously chewing at his lip. “If you want to grab a kebab or something, I’m sure somewhere’s still open.”

The idea of the two of them just rolling into a kebab shop completely sober in the middle of the night is fucking hilarious, especially considering it’s bound to be packed with drunk racegoers, but it beats going back to the hotel, he figures, and this way he can at least buy dinner and pay Lando back for the trouble.

“Don’t think that’s what Jon had in mind when he gave me a pass on the meal plan for the night, but that sounds fucking mega right now.”

As they walk off towards the car park, a peace passes over them and it makes Oscar smile. It’s nice that they can be normal, even when it’s like this.

[bokettochild]

Opera house au thoughts plsssssssssssssss

Oh boy, I keep forgetting what I have shared and what I haven't! So apologies if this is redundant or repeats things I've stated before!

Warriors is not a social media kinda guy. he hams it up for the camera when it comes to work, but his private life is just that- private. The only social media he has is set so that only his family and close friends can see it (although he does have professional accounts as well, since all actors need to), and he's completely different irl than he is in front of a camera

Time's influence on Legend is subtle, but it's there. Only Twi and and Time know, but Legend is actually in a garage band on the side with his buddies Ballad and Myth (there was a weird naming trend a couple decades ago). Time is exceedingly proud but refuses to let it on to anyone except Twi, who just thinks it's funny that he'd bother

Dusk probably will end up having to face off against her parents eventually, but I think Twilight by that point is just barely holding himself back from going off at them, at least until she gets her chance, because he has words on Legend and his lost twin (Fable) Raven, and Dusk's behalves, but believes Dusk should get first dibs (she's too polite for her own good though and tries to keep it civil, so he does most of the yelling in the end)

Wars lives in a less than ideal part of town, which unfortunately means that if shit is going down and someone needs help, they usually end up crashing at his place. legend has ended up there a few times after going out with Lullaby/Sheik, and while Wars has questions, he never asks. He's the guy who always has an open door and a couch you can crash on, as long as you mind your own business in his home and respect his cousins

Fable and Wild have mutual crushes on each other but have no idea the other likes them, as Fable thinks Wild is sweet on Flora and Wild thinks she might have a thing for Legend or something

Legend reminds Fable of her dad for reasons she can't really name, it bugs her a lot, especially when she could swear she hears him humming songs Raven wrote, only when she listens really close, he's already stopped and there's no way of knowing

Hyrule's pretty good at memorizing stuff, and eventually, he and Legend start learning whole plays together, reciting them back and forth while doing prop prep and such. Sometimes someone will come to them and ask them to run a scene with them, and the two will play every part except the asker's in order to help them prep. This is what convinces everyone they need to get Hyrule on stage.

Legend's got something of a reputation in the acting community, albeit a weird one. Fans of the opera know him by face and sometimes by voice, but his name is unknown. There are theory boards. Hyrule accidentally joined one and spends a lot of time wondering what would happen if he told the others there the truth about their idol, or really anything about him. they don't even know if he's a guy or a girl, and when Hyrule posts anything about his time at the Opera, it tends to make them go crazy (he gets a kick out of messing with them)

Never carpool with Twilight, you think you're getting the sweet country boy, but it turns out he drives Time to work when Malon can't, and that man is scary. It's not worth it, walking is better. (Nevermind that Twi drives like a redneck)

Sun, Sky, Twilight and Legend go out for "family dinners" to a 50s style diner on the edge of town. it showed up in Mother's Day, and also in A Chance to Hold You Again, but I want to confirm that that is Their Spot. Dusk has no clue how much it matters to them, or the significance of Legend asking her to go there with him. He knows this and it's the only reason he had the guts to do it.

First sometimes flies in to check on the Opera, usually once a year, and sometimes Hylia tags along. The kids love them. They are the only people, everyone is convinced, who Time is afraid of. Everyone swears Time freezes on the spot if First is talking to him, and they're not sure if it's hero worship or something else (First doesn't like him, he won't explain why, not even to Hylia)

Hylia likes to play doting rich lady. Think Madame from the Aristocats; she's utterly adoring to all the kids and has a fondness for all the ladies as well. Sky and Time both don't like her, mostly because of the wealth flaunting/power plays they think she's employing.

Twilight spends his days off volunteering at an animal shelter that specializes in cats. If one of the strays/Impa's cats from around his apartment is having issues/has kittens, that's where he takes them.

Four is severely allergic to cats and as such refuses to let Twilight into the sound booth ever, because it doesn't matter how much that man showers, he's always got cat hair on him and Four refuses to deal with a sneezing fit while running sound/lights

That's all I got for now, sorry!

[georgiewritess]

the salesman

summary: the office us au where joe keery is jim halpert. the folks of twitter dot com wanted this. warnings: incorrect use of schizophrenia in a conversation. not proofread. pairings: joe keery x female!reader (in place of pam).

"alright, joe. your quarterlies look very good, how's things going at the library?" michael questioned, his hands awkwardly fumbling with the papers.

joe sat across from him, his gaze faded as if this was the most painful conversation of his life. with a soft sigh, joe leaned forward on his chair, his arms rested against his knees as if bracing for impact. he had been working here long enough to know what would follow his confession.

"oh, i told you. couldn't close it, so-"

"so you've come to the master for guidance. is that what you're saying, grasshopper?" michael puts on a bit - a classic, as he always does.

"actually, you called me in here, but..." joe knew it was pointless arguing, so ultimately nodded his head. "but yeah."

the moment michael picked up the phone, joe wished he had never applied for this job. it was tedious, monotonous and not what he wanted to do with his life. in fact, not long ago his friends had asked him to be in their band full time, but he turned the offer down. he needed money, and as much as he loved music, joe needed a roof over his head and food on his table.

"- you're a gentleman and a scholar!" michael grinned down the phone, though his face soon fell. "oh... i'm sorry. okay. i'm sorry. my mistake."

the boss cleared his throat as he hung up the phone, letting out a breathy chuckle of embarrassment. "that was a woman i was talking to, so... she had a... a very low voice, probably a smoker. so..." michael drummed his fingers against his desk. "that's the way it's done."

after the meeting, joe was pulled into the conference room and sat down on the chair beside the window.

"do we - we have to do this? like... you think people are really going to care what i do here?" joe chuckled, mildly shamed as he rubbed his shoes against the carpet. god, if he wanted to be on camera every day, he would have gone into the entertainment industry.

"well, the point of this is to show people what happens at a paper company. of course, we won't know if anyone watches it until we release the documentary, but it'd be good for us to get an insight into each person's role here. so you, for example, you're a salesman, correct?"

joe nodded slowly, sinking back into the chair.

"yeah. so, my job is to speak to clients on the phone about quantities and types of copier paper. you know, whether we can... supply to them and... whether they can pay for it, and..." joe shrugged a little, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. "sorry, i'm boring myself just talking about this."

joe's fingers played mindlessly with each other on his lap as he trailed off, leaving the camera crew to pick it back up.

"and you get on with everyone here?"

joe snuck a glance past them, through the window to the main office. there were one or two people that weren't the type of people joe would typically surround himself with, but they weren't all bad.

the likes of angela and meredith joe could hardly stand. there was nothing wrong with them, perse, just the vibe they brought to the office. he liked peace and tranquillity, except for when he didn't.

enter dwight schrute, the man of every hour (or so he liked to think). he was an oddball and yet, something about him fascinated joe and had led to hundreds of unserious pranks. taking all of the bolts out of his chair so he went flying in the morning, swapping his drawers around at his desk, telling him the men's toilets were infested leading dwight to walk in on meredith using the toilet. it was only ever for fun. and... well... to make you laugh.

you. the funny, pretty, talented, sweet, pretty receptionist who joe constantly made a fool out of himself and others for. he could never tell what his favourite thing about you was. perhaps it was your laugh, or your smile, or the way all of his qualms dissipated at the mere sight of your car in the car park, getting in minutes before him to make you both a coffee.

truly, in the grand scheme of things, joe would take a gamble and leave this place to join his friends band full time. but leaving here meant leaving you and every fibre of his being screamed at him to stay.

"yeah..." joe spoke softly, turning his attention back to the camera crew. "we all get on qui-"

"sorry. oh, shi- sorry. my bad." matt barged in, his hand gripping the doorknob to balance himself. "practice tonight! you coming?"

matthew williams. the biggest pain in his ass. joe's best friend since forever and one of the people who kept nagging him to join this band.

matt only worked here part time for some extra cash, considering his band hadn't quite taken off yet, but he had quickly cemented himself within the group.

joe nodded, clearing his throat. "uh, yeah."

"epic! bring little miss pretty along too, yeah?" matt closed the door, disappearing into the annex.

joe could feel his face heat up before the camera even panned back to him, though when it did he felt a hundred times warmer. letting out a fake chuckle, joe shrugged.

"don't, uh... don't know who he means."

the camera had been lingering between him and dwight for some time now and it was beginning to drive joe up the wall. who signed off on this to be made? why did he have to be involved?

"wazzaaaaa?" michael walked out of his office, hands in the air as he appeared from behind joe.

"wazza," joe raised his eyebrows, looking over his shoulder to michael. if he played along, he'd bother someone else. joe looked to the camera, shaking his head with a faux smile. "he still loves that after seven years!"

dwight took this opportunity to join encouraging michael all the more. joe sighed, dropping his pen down on his desk.

"what?" michael asked, his hands gripping the back of joe's chair as he turned him around.

"nothing."

michael nodded slowly, then clapped his hands. "okay. alright. see you later."

"alright. take care." joe nodded and turned to his desk again.

"back to work." michael pointed to the camera with a grin, evidently loving the attention he had been getting.

"yeah, back to work!" dwight held his hand up for a high five, which michael stared at in near disgust, before walking off.

joe looked up and over to you at the reception desk, contemplating matt's invite. was it worth inviting you? there was no way you'd be interested in his friends music and, if joe really thought about it, he wasn't sure he wanted the two sections of his lives mixing yet.

you were sweet, educated, genuine. his friends were... well, they were those things too, but together they were a group of hyenas, laughing loudly and having one too many beers while composing a new song. there was no way you'd accept the invite, was there?

"oh, hi jan." joe's eyes shifted to the door as you spoke. no one else noticed you speak, but then again, no one watched you quite like joe did.

jan sighed, hanging up her jacket. "hello again. is michael...?"

"oh, he's just speaking to angela. do you want me to get him?" you ask, about to stand from your chair when jan waves you off.

"no, no. it's okay. although, i do need you to sit in on this meeting." jan walked over to the copier, closer to michael sat on angela's desk.

joe watched the woman walk off, before looking over to you with raised eyebrows. he watched the way you reciprocated, his heart flipping as you grabbed your notepad and began to walk to michael's office, making a point to swing by his desk first.

"if i cough real loud, you've gotta come get me for some emergency." you tell him, leaning against his desk.

"em-emergency? like what?" joe chuckled, clicking his pen.

"uhhh...." you shrugged before clicking your tongue and pointing at him. "ink emergency."

"ink emergency? really?"

"well, i don't know!" you laughed, and steve felt as if his whole world imploded. "just, something. i'm sure you'll figure it out."

joe smiled and offered a small nod, a quiet 'yeah' slipping from his lips when you walked away and into michael's office with the pair.

over the course of the meeting, joe looked over his shoulder through the glass window. he could see michael, brows furrowed as jan fed him information, and he could see you in all your glory taking notes and relaxing into your chair as if it were your couch.

then, you looked over to him. he debated looking away, pretending you hadn't caught him staring, but before he could, you raised your fingers to your cheek, as if imitating a gun. he laughed, shaking his head as you played it off as an itchy cheek.

god, he was smitten.

"i mean, i guess he could have been talking about meredith." joe let out a breathy chuckle, his palms clamming up. "have you spoken to her yet? she's a proper metalhead. you know, headbanging and all that. yeah, he probably meant her. you know, i'm not convinced she isn't on something." joe rambled, his tongue darting out to wet his chapped lips.

"o-okay... and uh, who would you say you get on with the most?" the camera crew asked and joe leaned back against the seat once more, shaking his head a little.

"oh, uh... well, matt and i are pretty good friends. have been for a long time."

"and what about the receptionist? do you speak much to her?"

joe's eyes widened a little, but he caught it in time to wind back his surprise and opted to nod.

"yeah, yeah. really well. she can be pretty funny, i guess. she helps me prank dwight sometimes, too. yeah... i think if i had to pick one person i was closest to in the office, it'd be her. i mean - well - after matt, obviously."

joe covered up quickly with a smile, desperate to get back into the office where he wouldn't be asked any more questions. the silence, though, was deafening.

"it's probably because our desks are so close together. whenever she gets up to do anything, i'm kinda there, so it'd be hard for her to ignore me, you know?" joe chuckled, scratching at his thigh in a desperate attempt to seem normal.

the camera crew nodded before asking another question.

"so, just going back to your role here, joe - do you think the paper company is a dying business?"

he really should have thought about his answer before speaking. he should have wondered why they were asking this in his first interview with them. they had been here a week or so but hadn't really taken the time to speak to people until today. though, with a confident chuckle, joe nodded.

"oh yeah, i hope so."

you looked up from your desk with a smile, shaking your head as joe appeared with another two coffees.

"god, thank you." your hands eagerly took the mug from his and you desperately tried to ignore the way your stomach fell to your ass when his hand grazed yours.

"no problem. you looked like you needed it. how was the meeting?"

"oh. my. GOD. horrific. so, not only is jan talking about downsizing, but she-"

"woah, wait, hold on. downsizing? why? i thought our figures were good?"

you shrug a little, clueless. "oh, i don't know anything about that. i just print copies all day."

"come on, you do more than that." joe smiled, leaning his forearms against the desk. "you look real pretty doing it."

his pitch raised, as if he was joking around, but he knew he wasn't. you, however, took it as a joke, though you wished it had been otherwise.

"you do flatter me... anyway, packer called-"

"todd packer?!"

"yeah! where the hell has he been for the last few months? but he called and michael put him on speakerphone-"

"ohhhh rookie mistake!" joe laughed, enjoying the way you simultaneously smiled.

"i knowww! and he just started saying all these things about jan, and michael hung up pretending he had no idea what he was on about. god, it was awful. i wish you could have been there."

joe smiled, tilting his head. "man, i wish i could have been there too. sounds like a good time."

their laughter died down, both taking a sip of their coffee before joe finally plucked up the courage to ask.

"hey, are you doing anything tonight?" you looked up to him, eyebrows raised as you shook your head. "it's just... matt and our friends are practicing a few of their songs tonight. i don't know, if you wanted, it'd be cool to have you there. i mean, who else is gonna make fun of them with me?"

you chuckled and immediately eased his tension.

"absolutely. just let me know where and when."

"lets say 7. but uh, i can pick you up. it's at teddy's house, so..."

"oh! teddy!" you nod, causing him to chuckle. joe had told you all about his friends, but you hadn't met any of them other than matt. "do i need to bring anything? i mean, is there like, an etiquette with band practice?"

"nope, shouldn't think so. they'll probably be too busy to even notice us."

joe lied, shrugging. he knew his friends and he knew they'd be showing extra interest in you. after all - you knew about them, and they most certainly knew about you.

"do you think this will get many views?" you ask, sitting down in the chair by the window. "i only ask 'cause i told my grandma i always wear her necklace. don't want her seeing this and calling me a liar."

you joke, causing the camera crew to chuckle. though it wasn't a serious question, you did wonder how many people would view this documentary.

"okay, so... how do you feel about the potential downsizing?"

you open your mouth to speak, then do the opposite to joe, and think for a moment.

"i don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go, because then i might... it's just..." you chew on the inside of your cheek as you contemplate your words. "i just don't think it's many girl's dream to be a receptionist."

the camera crew nod and prompt you further. "and what do you like to do?"

"oh, a few things. i like to draw, and bake. in fact," you chuckled, gesturing to the door. "joe thinks i should open up a bakery in town. not that i ever would. not that i'm good enough. but he said i could bake my own treats, and paint the murals on the windows. i could make it like, my own little workshop."

you rest your hands in your lap and smile, nodding as if the camera crew were even paying attention.

"yeah?"

"yeah. joe is kind of my biggest cheerleader, really. which is funny, because i wasn't allowed to be a cheerleader in high school, and joe is always like 'whaaaat? but you're great at everything! why wouldn't they pick you?' and-"

this was awkward. very quickly, you realised that had nothing to do with anything. in your haste, you were merging conversations, keen to just ramble about how great joe was to you.

"nevermind. but uh, yeah. i'd probably spend more time baking if they got rid of me."

"now, i know there's some rumours out there, and i just want to -"

"i'm assistant regional manager. i should know first." dwight stood, placing his hands on his hips.

"assistant to the regional manager."

"okay, can you just tell me, please? just whisper in my ear."

"i'm about to tell everybody. i'm just about to -"

dwight inched closer, and with that, joe looked straight to you with a smile. you looked to him with an even bigger one, finding the situation hilarious.

"please... okay? do you want me to tell them?"

joe shook his head, mouthing oh my god to you, and you giggled behind your hand.

"you don't know what it is!"

"can you tell them with my permission?"

"i don't need -"

"permission granted, michael. everybody, listen up!" dwight eyeballs everyone in the conference room, sitting back down in his seat.

michael sighed heavily, shaking his head. "i don't know what that was..."

joe stifled a laugh, folding his arms over his chest.

"corporate has deemed it appropriate to enforce an ultimatum upon me, and jan is thinking about downsizing either the stanford branch, or this branch."

amongst the chatter, primarily between oscar, stanley and michael, the boss pointed to you across the room.

"did you say something? you had a look on your face, like you wanted to ask a question."

joe looked to you again, watching your eyes widen for a moment before relaxing into the position.

"it's just... i was in the meeting with jan, and she did say that it could be this branch."

stanley immediately bounced back, telling michael off.

"no, no! stanley, you did not see me in there with her. i said, if corporate wants to come in here, and interfere then they're gonna have to go through me, right? you know, you can go a mess with josh's people, but i'm the head of this family, and you ain't gonna be messing with my chillen."

for the umpteenth time that day, you and joe exchanged a confused look. michael and his attempts at sounding young never did make sense to the both of you.

joe sighed, resting his elbow against the chair arm and placing his fingers against his cheek, propping himself up.

"what would i do if they got rid of me? well... i'd probably join matt's band, for one. i'd have to try and give that a go, even though they're not gonna pay me. uh... maybe i'd take an online course in something. you know, they do those now."

joe shook his head, trying to think.

"but if i left, what would i do with all this useless information in my head? tonnage, price of manila folders? how the accountants always eat bananas? how the receptionist only ever eats one specific flavour of yoghurt, which is berry mix, by the way-"

joe didn't know you were eating that at your desk right now.

"joe said berry mix?" you ask, later in the day after the camera crew had pulled you in for another interview. you chuckled softly with a nod. "yeah, he's onto me."

"ultimately, i don't think i'd mind if they get rid of me. i'd be forced to do something with my life then, wouldn't i? instead of just wishing i had the time and energy to follow my dreams..." joe muttered, picking at his fingers.

he wasn't happy here. if it weren't for you, he would have found another job years ago. but you, the one person he never could quite get close enough to, kept him working this dead end job. because, to joe, the turmoil of working here was worth it just to see you.

"but you never know... maybe they'll keep me here forever. wouldn't that be fun? just... me, as an old man, working well into retirement like stanley. i'll be in an old people's home reciting prices of paper and thinking the old man beside me is dwight."

then again, if that was the future he had in store, joe wasn't sure it was one he wanted.

he looked up to the crew, his eyes flicking between the camera and the person asking him questions. "can i go or do you need more?"

"no, we're done for now. thanks, joe."

michael burst out of his office as everyone began to pack away.

"whaaaaat? no! no, no, no! there's still five minutes! you can't - i - " he walked over to joe, shifting his weight between his feet.

"hi michael."

"joe, you can't leave yet."

"oh, i'm not. just packing away." he answered, zipping up the bag.

"well, i forbid it." michael huffed, looking around. everyone in the office was finally paying attention to him.

joe looked up, deadpan as he spoke. "you can't forbid it, michael.

"ha! too bad! i just did!" michael looked behind him to the reception desk. "no! not you too! you can't - we still have five minutes!"

you stand from your desk, putting your coat on with a confused expression. "michael, it's not a big deal."

"it is! i am your boss and i forbid you, yes, you! to pack away."

you looked to joe, who simply shrugged and turned to the camera crew.

"you should really be documenting him, you know. paper is boring, but michael scott's downward spiral into schizophrenia? that's content." joe picked up his phone, pushing it into his pocket.

"it's not schizophrenia, joe. you have packed up 3 minutes and 23 seconds before your shift ends, therefore-"

"hey man! see you tonight?" matt patted joe's shoulder as he strolled past and straight out the door.

michael spun around, having finished chastising you. "okay, no one else move, okay? i'd hate to tell someone else off, too."

"but michael," dwight pointed to the door. "matt just -"

"are you trying to tell tales, dwight? you've stopped working, too! you're just as bad as these people! do i pay you to speak or do i pay you to work?"

dwight falls silent for a moment, his lips eventually parting to answer, before michael holds his fingers up. "ah-ah!"

joe grinned at the camera crew before standing and walking to get his jacket.

"joe! joey! joseph! where are you going?"

joe shook his head, pursing his lips. "nowhere, michael. just getting my jacket. it's cold sitting under the aircon all day and you do want me to spend these last..."

joe looked at his watch.

"4 minutes and 53... 52... 51 seconds working in an environment i'm comfortable in, don't you?"

michael nods, looking to dwight. "see, dwight? joe here has the right ide- no!" he called as he turned back around, seeing both you and joe had vanished.

with a laugh, you both run into the elevator and head for the parking lot.

"he's such a weirdo," joe commented, smoothing out his jacket.

you grin, shaking your head and pushing the door open. "you're such a wind up, joe."

he nodded, allowing the door to shut behind them. "but you love it."

"only when it's directed at other people." you chuckle, walking to your car and unlocking it. "so, 7pm tonight? and i don't need to bring anything?"

joe shook his head. "nope. just yourself. oh, maybe some earplugs." you shoot him a confused look, with the tilt of your head, and he smiles. "just in case you don't like the music."

joe stood outside of your house, leant against his car as he nervously played with his shirt. this wasn't a date, he had to keep reminding himself, yet he felt intense butterflies anyway. despite being friends for a good few years now, there had never been any reason to invite you somewhere. okay - yes, he could have asked you on a real date by now, but outside of that, the only times you had hung out were at the dundee awards michael held every year. even then, you were both drunk and barely remembered a thing.

hearing a door close, he looked up and a smile instantly made it's way onto his face as he saw you. you were...

"you look... wow." joe chuckled, eyeing you up innocently.

you smile in return as you reach him. "this old thing? i just threw it on."

"well..." joe shook his head, opening the passenger side door. "you look pretty great to me."

ducking into his car, you buckle your seatbelt and watch as he climbs in, starting the ignition. the smile is still very much on your face as he begins to drive.

"now, i'm gonna warn you, the boys are probably gonna ask a lot of questions. it's just in their nature to poke and prod."

"they're not actually going to poke and prod me though, right?" you tease, shooting him a grin.

he glanced away from the road for just a second to look at you with a smile, before shaking his head and turning down the street.

"i hope not. they never have before."

the pair of you eventually get to teddy's house, and he greets joe with a bro-hug, before awkwardly giving you a hug. what were you meant to do in those situations? teddy and joe introduced you to the other guys and you offer them a polite wave. you knew their names but putting faces to them was a whole different story.

that was a lie. you had totally facebook stalked joe and his friends, but you'd never admit to that.

the boys had already ordered in a few pizza's, so you and joe waited for those as they set up in the garage.

"they all seem nice enough," you look to him, shrugging your shoulders casually. "no poking, no prodding."

joe can't help but chuckle and glance in the direction of the garage momentarily, as if worried they'd be listening.

"yeah, no, they're alright. i've known them pretty much my whole life. it's nice that they're able to get together like this."

"what about you?" you ask. "you're into music too, right?"

joe nodded. "they've asked me to join a few times but it's not something i can really dedicate my time to. i need a job."

you nod, too. that made sense. it was the same reason you hadn't left to follow your dreams. what even were your dreams?

"i guess. but you shouldn't let that stop you. life is too short to let it just... go by while you wallow in pity."

"hey! who says i wallow in pity?" joe asked, pretending to be offended.

you smiled, shaking your head quickly. "i'm generalising. but you should go for it. who cares if you miss a shift? matt only works part time and he's happy with it. what's really stopping you?"

oh. if only you knew.

joe swallowed a small lump forming in his throat as he pushed his hands into his jeans, contemplating a response. he simply decided to go with a quiet "nothing."

you quirk an eyebrow, gently poking his shoulder. "i can see right through you, keery. you can lie to yourself but not to me." you offered a small smile before nudging his shoulder again, but with your own. "come on. i wanna hear some music. and you better get on the guitar at some point tonight."

you were only teasing, but deep down, you wanted to see him play. he wanted you to see him play, too. what greater way to share his passion than with someone he had been crushing on for the last couple years?

not that he'd ever admit it, but you were what was stopping him from chasing his dream. because, in actuality, music hadn't been his dream for some time. it had been you.

[tea-cat-arts]

Ghostblade's immediate (excuse the pun) death-grip on the fandom kinda surprised me just because I feel like structurally, what's being done with him isn't that different from what's been done with other heroes so far.

Like, with the cameos in other heroes arc— Cyan and Johnny both had pretty prominent appearances in E-Soul and Queen's arcs respectively, but I don't remember them getting nearly as much fandom attention? I'm gonna be focusing more on Cyan here just because I have more to say about her at this moment in time. Within Yang Cheng's story, Cyan acts as like this looming presence representing hope/ a better choice. More specifically, she's a choice that Yang Cheng will never reach for because he's trapped within Rock's rules of how the world works (with Cyan's own arc then going to prove that Rock's rules are bullshit). I see Ghostblade and Luoli's presence in eachothers arc as a similar kind of thematic through line. I'll probably have more to say on this after Ghostblade's last episode comes out, but for now it seems like both their stories surround the idea of being trapped by society and finding freedom. Ghostblade is someone who believed he found freedom through the hero system, and its a system that Luoli initially tries to cater to as well. Luoli finds pretty early on that the trust system won't cater to her and instead gets her freedom by having allies and building tech that allows her to reject both the trust and fear system entirely. We've already seen bits and pieces of Ghostblade realizing the system is actually trapping him, and I'm excited to see where that goes.

For the next comparison— I'm definitely not the first to bring this up but its interesting to watch the fandom demonize Yang Cheng while wubbifying Ghostblade when they're both pretty similarly morally questionable (though, I'm pretty sure Ghostblade has a way higher kill count than Yang Cheng). I think it mostly comes down to two things: Ghostblade is funny as hell and the other shoe hasn't dropped yet.

When it comes to Ghostblade's more questionable actions, so far, they've been presented with a level is emotional disconnect that allows you to not take them that seriously (and then you pair it with his goofy ass expressions and clown behavior). Like, at this point, we don't know who the randos he killed were, we're not attached to Sheng. Ghostblade doesn't care about them, and we haven't talked to anyone who does, so at this point, why would we (the audience) care? It reminds me of the way Nice's suicide was initially presented— Lin Ling didn't know the man, Moon and Miss J didn't care, his fans didn't even notice.

Wreck fundamentally changed how Nice's suicide was treated by the series. He was the first person to actually talk about Nice like an actually fucking human being (and possibly the only one that actually cared about Nice), and it shifts how Lin Ling sees and talks about Nice. The jokes about his death more or less stopped after that point, and it gets treated more as the tragedy it always was (except by the fans, cuz fuck em). I'm curious to see if The Johnnies are going to give us our Wreck moment in Ghostblade's arc (I assume it will given you know— Sheng's his dad and apparently his "crime" was whistle-blowing).

But back on the Yang Cheng comparison— I think its kinda important to remember that the fandom demonization of Yang Cheng only really started around episode 7 (I remember him being pretty well liked before then). I wonder if we're gonna see a similar shift in attitude towards Ghostblade if the series forces us to take his actions seriously.

[1morefrenchfry]

✋️🙂hallo! Question when do you headcanon gray realizing/ accepting that he is actually is capable of seeing carmen romantically all on his own / of his own free will? If this makes sense ? Like the crush is all his //- grahamcarmen

Hii :D thx for the ask! Sorry i took a minute dumb shit keeps happening to me🥸 anyway, Warning: long ass reply

So personally i dont think they really liked each other in the academy years (despite me wtiting fic where they sorta did whoops🤪), although the the foundation was there and they maybe might not have fully realized the depth of how much they cared. It truly was platonic, because they didnt bother to imagine it as much else.

When does Gray’s cognition of his own feelings start? I think when he meets her on the train to Paris. He is confronted with this grown up, beautiful woman that he cant reconcile with the girl he used to know. He’s attracted, but hes held back because of the way he used to view her. And he doesnt get enough time to work through any of this, obviously, due to the arrest & memory wipe debacle🫣

We can point to the opera ep as the first sign of overt interest. Gray has no memory of their baggage/friendship to have any reservations about pursuing Carmen. The only knowledge he has at his disposal is the fact that here’s this pretty lady in front of him, and that he can do something about it or not. Its not messy. Not from his POV at least. (But carmen’s!! Oof!!)

Where it gets complicated for Gray is obviously when he gets his memories *back.* Its obviously a high-stakes moment when he does because he goes from ACME custody to being back in VILE’s grip. A lot is happening, leaving not much time to contend with his feelings.

But now its confusing, because he *knows* he was attracted to Carmen in Sydney. He was pretty obvious about it, too. She hadnt seemed uninterested. But she also left him in the dark about quite obviously a lot.

But now Gray also remembers their old relationship and what Carm used to mean to him, back when she was blacksheep. Aka a little sister figure. Heres where it gets weird for him. Now, Gray’s a side character, so we dont get to see his internal struggle with how to view her like we do from Carmen. But i absolutely believe he went theough the same thing. Its messy AF here because Gray’s working out not only the dichotomy of his feelings towards carmen and balcksheep, but hes also fitting that in with his own choice to stay with VILE and the knowledge that she purposefully let him live a lie for more than a year.

By the time the Himalayas roll around, i think its clear hes set aside any ill feelings towards her. Contrary to (popular?) opinion, I dont think hes fully accepted that he loves her (romantically) yet. but Gray IS clear on the fact that she means the world to him, and that he doesnt wanna put her in harms way ever again. That confrontation ends the way it does, aka…explosively 😗 (dont block me pls).

Gray is left thinking that theyll be on the outs now forever.

Only for VILE to yank Carmen back into the fold. Suddenly, Gray is presented with everything hes ever wanted: the two of them not at odds but side by side. From the start, he feels odd about it, having gone through mindwiping himself, but he doesnt tell her the truth for the same reason Carmen didnt tell him: He truly believes this is the safest option for her, being under VILE’s wing instead of galivanting around as public enemy number 1.

During Evil!Carm’s 6 months back with VILE, he and Evil!Carm are BFFs and partners in crime again. She has no memories of him except from the island, so she doesnt remember him ever showing romantic intetest in her. Gray forces himself to be happy about having Carmen back and tamps down any new, alien feelings.

Due to 6 months transpiring off screen i think im allowed to interpret what happened there as i like 🙂‍↔️ so i think Evil!Carmen flirts with him at times. Tbf, She flirts with everyone, its one of the “carmen” tendencies that the mindwiping didnt bother circumventing. But its different when its with him, because of what they already obviously mean to one another. Its not harmless. Evil Carmen is devoid of empathy for much, but she still has a soft spot with Gray.

When she shows any romantic inclination, Gray is reminded of his own repressed feelings for her. I’d like to think that he flirts back (its his personality) but he shuts it down from ever escalating further out of his own version of the “sHeS lIkE a SiStEr To mE” crash out, because hes confused not only about THIS but also if carmens really fully there to begin with. It feels wrong, initiating things with someone who isnt fully themself.

I think when hes confronted with his internal want to reciprocate whatever Carmens trying to do is when hes forced to realize: Hes loves her, and not in a friend way. So to answer your question, i think he mostly realizes sometime during the 6 months evil period. Closer towards the end i would say.

All the while, his discomfort with allowing her to remain mindwiped builds and builds upon itself. When Gray catches Carmen crossing lines she swore to never cross, lines that she literally upended his and her own lives for, thats when he finally makes up his mind to save her.

Gray, when hes fully himself, is not someone who does the right thing. None of VILE are. For whatever reason, life shaped him into a person who discards morals when they get in the way of his personal advancement. But the one wild card in the face of his standard motivations is the lady in red. The one thing that confuses him more than anything else is what he feels for Carmen.

For so much of the show, Gray and Carmen are at odds, even if he doesnt even know it, split apart by their different outlooks on life. But in the end, Gray chooses her over himself.

When he helps bring her memories, he doesnt mind dying (by her hand or VILE’s should he fail), getting arrested, being kicked out of the only thing close to a family hes got, as long as it means he can bring her back. And he isnt doing it so that he can have a relationship with her guilt-free. Even when things work out, even when the opportunity for reconciliation is offered, Gray makes the active choice to walk away. He believes that whatever they have, no matter how much it means to him, is too broken to fix. (Biased but, BS i say!)

Although Gray may have realized his feelings for Carmen earlier, i think this is the point where he fully *accepts* them. At the very, very end, where the possibility of meeting her again is banished.

[scuderia-eunoia]

meetcute moment | KA12 blurb

─── MEETCUTE BLURB! in which you, a pastry fiend, decides to indulge your sweet desires and buy yourself a few baked treats. however, things quickly go south when you run—literally—into a problem in the form of a tall, curly headed mop. WC: 0.6k NOTES: new layout, who dis?! anyway— this is actually going to be a part of a longer kimi fic that i've been working on, but i thought that it was too cute of a moment to leave in the drafts as i continue writing the rest of the story. so, have this very short (but hopefully very adorable) blurb of a meetcute moment with kimi. if you think about it, this serves as a sneak peek, as well ;). anyway, enjoy!

YOU'VE BECOME A constant visitor of this bakery nearby. It makes some pretty good breakfast buns, and it reminds you of a similar joint you and your grandmother used to frequent back home. It's quite the ancient establishment, with an interior design that is so obviously well beyond its years. Somehow, its old aesthetic adds to its charm.

After several minutes of being torn between this beautifully baked apple pie or another ten pieces of your old reliable crinkles, you pay the kind old lady who usually mans the bakery the fee and begin walking outside. You've gathered quite the haul today: three full loaves, two separate bags full of breakfast and dinner buns, a few pieces of this new croissant that the old lady recommended to you, and then some. It amassed a total of three, moderately heavy, slightly unstable, shaky paper bags that you had to carry all the way back home. But the weight of them all was nothing compared to the bliss of sweet delight you were going to indulge in once you got home.

You've almost lost yourself in the haze of your baked delusions when you get rudely shoved back into reality when, as if the universe had told you to snap out of your stupid trance, you bump into someone. The collision sends you falling back and your precious sweet delights flying out of their paper confinements; You could only watch in horror as your three loaved musketeers defied the laws of gravity for a split second, before flopping onto the concrete.

You don't even know what to say. You're panicking— you think of the crinkles, and your heart sinks— until you realize, it wasn't completely your fault.

You dust yourself down, prepare yourself to start screaming at whatever blind man decided to bump into you and ruin your tower of pastries—

“Scusa,” you heard a voice say, and you looked up.

A man with curly hair and really, really pretty eyes is staring down at you with so much pity, it was almost like you were some beggar and he was the reigning king of the road giving you a few scraps.

You weren't a native, so you didn't understand the language of the locals— but according to some books on Italian language that you read on the airport a week ago, scusa was an informal way of apologizing and saying sorry.

You didn't really know what to say— not because you didn't want to, but because you couldn't. Your accent would give you away, but given as you were pretty much rising to your feet whilst staring at this Italian stranger with a look as if he'd grown two extra heads, you figured that your cover was blown long ago.

You nodded stiffly at him, as you began collecting your fallen pastries from the ground.

The curly headed mop is persistent, though. He does what a socially awkward introvert navigating a foreign country's worst fear is: helping you.

He leaned down, picked up the farther pieces of bread and crinkles and semi-flattened croissants, rose back up, and handed them to you. You take them without a word. You're speechless. If you even breathe an inch too close to his Italian face, God knows what might happen.

Just when you're about to begin saying "thanks" in English because you've just about given up trying to explain you're a foreigner, Mister Mop (you've settled on calling him that) commits yet another unthinkable act: speaking directly to you.

Except this time, it's in English— a language you understand.

“You’re a foreigner, aren’t you?” he asked.

You blinked a few times, like your eyes were trying to get used to the blur of this kind Italian stranger who has been nothing but kind to you these past five minutes.

“Yeah, I am,” you replied. Your pastries are safely back in your arms, and surprisingly, they’re organized in a neater order than before. Sweet.

[themculibrary]

Tony Doesn't Know Steve Is Captain America Masterlist

A Face to Meet the Faces that You Meet (ao3) - valtyr steve/tony, bucky/tony E, 2k

Summary: Identity porn. AU post Cap’s death in ways that should be pretty obvious.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Oblivion (ao3) - sabrecmc steve/tony M, 66k

Summary: “Mr….Mr. Stark?” the man asked, shaking his head as if to clear it, grip convulsing spasmodically on Tony’s hand.

“That’s me,” Tony responded gruffly. Of course the man recognized him. His face had been everywhere before the whole Iron Man thing and now…well, now…so yeah, totally understandable. Guy was probably thinking of his lawyer’s speed dial number. “Look, ambulance is on its way, okay, so just sit tight. You’re going to be fine.”

“I—I think I missed my date,” the blond man said. And promptly passed out.

Or, how Tony accidentally kidnapped Captain America and then wanted to keep him.

Celestial Navigation (ao3) - sabrecmc steve/tony E, 296k

Summary: 18 year old Omega!Tony finds himself Bonded to Captain Steve Rogers.  He isn’t happy about it until he is.

Cherry Ride (ao3) - copperbadge steve/tony E, 12k

Summary: A SHIELD agent named Roger Stevens told Tony that his nickname was “Cap”. Tony didn’t connect the dots until it was much, much too late.

I Don’t Want My Heart to Show (ao3) - laudatenium​ steve/tony, happy/pepper T, 14k

Summary: On a gut impulse, Tony Stark hires Steve Rogers to be his bodyguard after Steve rescues him from an automotive crash. But despite his resolution not to share his secret with Steve, the man is far different than anyone else Tony's ever known.

And thus it begins.

------

AU of Tales of Suspense 45, where Steve was melted before the Avengers existed. And the fallout.

I Said “I Love You,” What Does It Matter If I Lie to You? (ao3) - Lelantus steve/tony M, 95k

Summary: 18 year old Tony Stark is your typical teenager. Well, except for how he’s the playboy billionaire heir to Stark Industries and working on two PhDs. Oh, and 6 months ago he was kidnapped by - well, no one really knows who. Since his rescue (excuse you, Tony liberated himself), he’s also been keeping a pretty big secret. Here’s a hint: it’s shiny, red and gold, and flies. Tony’s had a productive couple of months, but the fact that his grandfather keeps trying to hire bodyguards for his “safety” is really putting a cramp in his ability to keep his secret superhero identity, well, a secret.

Steve Rogers wakes up in 2015 and finds out that he’s missed 70 years (Oh god, does this mean he’s 94?), a revelation that he handles with much less grace than usual. Mostly, Steve just wants to be Captain America again, but on his own terms and without a lot of fanfare. To fill the time while Steve tries to figure out the best way to resurrect a dead superhero, his good friend Isaac Stark offers him a job: bodyguard to Isaac’s grandson, Tony Stark - who seems to get into a surprising amount of trouble for a teenager. “There’s no better introduction to the 21st century than through Tony,” says Isaac. Somehow, Steve is not reassured.

Missing in Action (the Who Are You Underneath Remix) (ao3) - navaan steve/tony M, 22k

Summary: Tony and his friends are on a mission in war torn Europe and Fury has sent along a soldier to serve as their driver and a sort of attache. Tony likes him well enough, but the real help he's counting on is that of Captain America, especially with Hydra hot on his trail. But then Private Steve Rogers has a mishap that costs him his memory – and Tony can't seem to make contact with Captain America at all.

Prisoner’s Dilemma (ao3) - ​AvocadoLove steve/tony M, 15k

Summary: After taking the airplane down in the Arctic, Steve wakes to find himself imprisoned as a human test subject. With no idea where in the world he is, his only ally is a fast-talking inventor in the cell next door. Something’s off about Tony that Steve can’t put his finger on, and it’s obvious Tony doesn't fully trust him either. But to escape they may not have a choice…

Show Me How To Live (ao3) - imafriendlydalek steve/tony, background pepper/rhodey M, 43k

Summary: The world has moved on since Captain America went into the ice, Steve had been told by his handler at SHIELD, an agent he knows only as Sitwell. Genetic modification of humans is very much forbidden by international law, and with the country already embroiled in war, Captain America has to remain hidden. It’s 2005 and Steve is back at art school, this time in Boston. At an event that involves melting metal, he sees a pair of familiar eyes. As they get to know each other, Steve and Tony also learn the truth behind the lies they have been told.

Straight On Till Morning (ao3) - sineala steve/tony E, 109k

Summary: Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he'd never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony's own design. What's more, the Avenger's captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive... and very, very attractive.

But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own -- and the truth could change everything.

Toy Soldiers (ao3) - copperbadge steve/tony, sam/bucky E, 44k

Summary: When Steve Rogers, five foot four and a hundred and ten pounds, met Tony Stark in a bar, he didn’t expect it to lead to a relationship. Or that Tony would find out he’s not an art student during a SHIELD rescue mission in Afghanistan.

Wait &Sea (ao3) - Lenalena steve/tony E, 53k

Summary: In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds….

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

I recently had a conversation with a friend who hasn't watched Bad Batch but knows the gist of the show (since I talk so much about it) and knows I am absolutely certain Tech is alive. Somewhere in our conversation she kinda wondered out loud if part of the reason why I'm so deadset on Tech surviving is because I don't like it when my favorite characters die.

Short answer (basically the answer I gave her): no, that's not it.

Long answer (the one YOU all get because what else is tumblr for? 😂):

I mean, I DON'T like my favorite characters dying - who does? But death is a part of life; and as a massive bookworm and a huge Star Wars and Doctor Who fan (among many other fandoms), I'm well used to my favorite characters dying.

Beth in Little Women? Dead. Matthew Cuthbert and Walter Blythe in the Anne of Green Gables series? Dead. Lupin, Tonks, Sirius, Moody, Fred, and multiple others in Harry Potter? Dead. Sydney Carton in A Tale of Two Cities? Dead. And the list goes on. If I spelled out how many great characters have died in Doctor Who, we'd be here all day. And then we get to Star Wars, where Qui Gon, Obi Wan, Yoda, Plo, Fives, Cutup, Hevy, 99, Hardcase, Kanan, Cassian, Luthen, Lonni, practically everyone in Rogue One, Bail, Luke, Leia, Han, and Ben Solo are all dead - and that's just naming a few. Truth be told I'm surprised any of my favorite characters are still alive at this point in their on-screen stories (if they kill off Din Djarin anytime soon so help me...)

Yes, death in my favorite stories makes me sad - VERY sad - but I'm well used to it. I accept it. I still cry just thinking of "Jedi Night/Dume" but I know Kanan is for sure dead, I've made peace with it, and here we are.

The reason why I can't accept Tech as dead is because the story gave me no reason to.

I went into season 3 hoping Tech would come back (given the whole "no body" plus "villain is the only source of info" thing), but I was also looking for any indication that his sacrifice and its role in the story would get addressed/resolved so I could accept his fate and move on.

Seriously, months watching season 3 on a weekly basis, waiting for that resolution. And there are SO many ways it could have been done!

My preference would have been for Tech's "presence" to be felt with references to how his memory and influence directly motivates his siblings to carry on. Omega would have been the prime candidate to showcase this (if any of you know Lindsey Stirling's song "Lose You Now,"* that's pretty much the vibes I imagine would fit this scenario),** and it could have been especially compelling if it served as a comparison to Crosshair trying to reconcile himself with the fact that he left Tech on the terms he did and will never see him again.

But even something as simple as the ending (pre-epilogue) scene on Pabu including basic dialogue referencing Tech (just one example off the top of my head: "I wish Tech were here with us"/"He'd be happy for us, this is what he sacrificed himself for" - bonus points if Crosshair said something here) would have been enough.

Instead we got... nothing. No resolution happened. Nothing even remotely close to a resolution happened. Based on the story we see on screen, the only real impact Tech's sacrifice had on the family was convincing Hunter to permanently retire and hide away to protect the few siblings he had left, which would incidentally have left Crosshair imprisoned on Tantiss for who knows how much longer (so, pretty much the exact opposite of what Tech sacrificed himself for in the first place). Motivations get muddied further when Omega is captured in the same episode Tech falls, and then finding/freeing Omega serves as the primary motivation for main events through the entirety of season 3 - which is completely understandable given the circumstances and would be fine if it didn't end up sidelining what should have been Tech's role (even in his absence). As it stands, Tech's absence is never mentioned except as a reminder of how underpowered the squad is now, and the reasons for his sacrifice itself are never, EVER mentioned or alluded to at all in season 3. Bad enough that Hunter never speaks Tech's name, which to me indicates he never truly experiences any closure over the loss; we also don't get any resolution for Crosshair here, not even a hint at how/when he got the news about Tech in the first place - and he's the one in the squad who has to live with the fact that they parted ways on such shaky terms.

Basically, season 3 has turned into a masterclass for me on all the things to NOT do when resolving a major character death 😂😭

And... I just don't think that's an accident. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but I just don't think the writers who (especially throughout seasons 1-2) carefully followed up on/developed strong themes and plot points AND managed to include a satisfying closure scene for Mayday that lasted less than a minute, somehow couldn't manage to fit ANY kind of satisfactory resolution for Tech into roughly 8 hours of screentime in season 3 if Tech was actually meant to be dead.***

(Also interesting to consider the fact that some stories resolve a major character death/provide closure even if the character is actually coming back later - because, you know, the other characters don't know the "dead" character will be returning later. So there really was no reason to NOT properly close out Tech's story in relation to his loved ones, unless the writers were wanting to drop massive hints to the audience as to where they wanted the continued story to eventually go.)

Several rewatches later, and still nothing regarding Tech in season 3 comes across to me as designed to convince the audience to let him go and make peace with his death. Designed to make us miss him? Yes. Designed to inflict an outrageous and uncalled-for level of emotional trauma? Certainly. Designed to make us let him go? Absolutely not.

And so, I'm not letting him go.

Tech lives!!!

*If you haven't heard the song before, I HIGHLY recommend listening to it!

**I realize Tech's goggles making an appearance in the epilogue scene could be interpreted as Omega taking a piece of Tech with her as inspiration for all he taught her before he died. However, since there is literally nothing that occurs previously in season 3 to establish how Omega and especially the others are actually coping with and moving on from Tech's death, this interpretation falls flat for me (frankly, it feels like a tacked-on afterthought). Seriously, my one thought upon first seeing those goggles in the epilogue (apart from bursting into nausea-inducing tears all over again) was wondering if the brothers had set up any other memorial for Tech on Pabu since Omega was going off with the only memento they had left of him.

***When I first watched the Citadel arc in TCW, it bothered me to no end that Echo got a grief-stricken holler from Fives and... that was it, while the Jedi Piell got a full-on funeral despite the fact that they were running for their lives and should have had NO time for that. Still, I thought Echo was dead and gone, and I didn't expect Echo to return. Yet here we are. (And yeah, I realize a lot of named clones weren't given what I would consider to be their fair dues in being honored after dying, but we also saw the bodies/equivalent signaling that they were actually dead.) Anyone else see the similarities here between how Echo's apparent death was handled, and Tech's?

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

please tell us your bigger than the whole sky / would've could've should've Thots

oh no, you're gonna get me started on two of my favourite songs and I won't be able to stop 😂 This has turned into a very rambly stream of consciousness post, my apologies. The TL;DR is that to me, they're fascinating explorations of the ways in which faith (and I don't necessarily mean religious) can guide us or lead us astray, buoy us or cast us adrift.

I know there are all kinds of interpretations of the songs and their place on Midnights and in Taylor's discography. I've touched on this before, but one thing that has struck me about Midnights is that it's an album about loss and depression and questioning in the aftermath, and so many songs on there feel like "what ifs": moments in time where it seems like everything changed from that point forward. (That's a real fucking legacy to leave, indeed.)

I've written about it elsewhere on this blog, but something that connects both songs to me is how they deal with faith, as I said at the outset. Specifically, WCS is the point at which she believes she/the narrator loses her faith due to what happened to her, and BTTWS delves into how unmoored in the wake of another loss when she/the narrator feels in a world where she no longer has the faith she once held. It's, I could have gone along with the righteous to I'll say words I don't believe.

I know the wording sounds similar between the two songs, but they aren't exactly the same, and to me their intent is completely different, though equally marking. @taylortruther even answered an ask about this a while back. As she put it in the post:

what i like about it is that would've could've should've is a pretty glib phrase, in my experience, and sometimes shaming. like, don't dwell on it, you could've done things differently, but you can't change it now. and these are two songs about dwelling and not being able to move on from something that changed her (or the narrator).

In WCS, it's like a call and response in her head: if you would've, I would've. You could've, and I'd never. "Would've, could've, should've" in the pre-chorus is like she's chastising herself, as in, I should've have known better, except by the end we know: no, she couldn't have known better, because he should've, and did. (Don't you think I was too young? You should've known.) It's angry and pained.

In BTTWS, the order's a little different (What could've been, would've been, should've been you.) To me, the context is completely different in that it's not recrimination like in WCS: it's a sad, pining daydream about someone/something that never came to exist or no longer exists. Whereas in WCS the words are her not only beating herself up with regret, but reading the person who harmed her for filth, in BTTWS it's a tender elegy for an entity that left her before its time.

One of the most interesting similarities between the two songs, to me, is that they both deal with the fallout of an event outside the narrator's control, with some omniscient figure pulling the strings instead, and the narrator's reaction to each of them is a markedly different stage of processing or grief.

In WCS, she's grappling with the guilt that this is something she thought she wanted, only to realize much later on that someone else was making these choices for her. The Devil should have blinked, he should have spat her out, he shouldn't have touched her first, he shouldn't have put her on a pedestal only to bury her in the ground. He was the one with the power in the situation, and he did something to her (or, in her words, took something from her) that left her filled with regret and shame. She believed she wanted this, but only now does she know she should never have been put in the position where it was even an option.

In BTTWS, the narrator is grappling with something being taken from her that was beloved and is now sorely missed. The guilt in this case is her wondering if there were anything she could have done to prevent whatever happened that led to its loss. If she'd stayed on her knees, as it were, would the outcome have changed? (Which is an interesting contrast to WCS: WCS implies that she was part of the righteous-- until the events in the song, which made her fall from grace. Here, she doesn't consider her righteousness until the thing is gone away. Kind of like bookends thematically, in a sense.) Is her lack of faith or piety the reason this happened? Or is it because of a cascading series of random events she doesn't even know about that ultimately led to this? To me, it's like, in WCS, she knows exactly why it happened (even if she doesn't know why he did it), but in BTTWS, she has absolutely no idea what led her here, which is part of why she can't find the words for it.

It's interesting, because even in WCS there's an admission that part of her thought she wanted this: The god's honest truth is that the pain was heaven. If you never saved me from boredom, I could've gone on as I was. Hence the regret that she fell into temptation (lol sorry can't help it-- the Catholic guilt is strong in this one) and was led so astray-- I miss who I used to be. In BTTWS, esoteric ~you~ is something that is unquestionably very much wanted-- I've got a lot to pine about, I've got a lot to live without, I'm never gonna meet what [...] should've been you-- and the guilt stems from feeling like she there could have been something to keep ~them~ here. The loss of what could've, would've, should've been this ~thing~ leaves a hole in her and her future. The narrator is haunted by what happened to her in WCS, but in BTTWS, she's haunted by what didn't happen, in a sense.

If Midnights in an album, as the fandom popularly theorizes, about looking into your past to try to understand your present and protect your future, those two songs are clear examples of ruminating over a specific event (either recent or long ago) and wondering if there were any way to prevent the pain and loss in the current moment.

This is probably far more than you ever bargained for for an answer, and as you can tell I could wax poetic about this for ages. I think WCS is one of the cornerstones of her discography, because it is such a raw depiction of trauma and its aftermath, and I think fills in the lines of so much (certainly between Speak Now and TTPD). And I think BTTWS is actually vital to understanding both Midnights and TTPD, like it's a bridge between the two albums, because it is the starkest depiction of grief and depression. The "every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness" is the same kind of mindset that leads to writing so much of Midnights, and mood-wise it's a direct pipeline to Fortnight which then sets the scene for the rest of the album.

If you're interested, I wrote a long-ass post diving into the 3am tracks (before we knew that TTPD even existed lol) and wrote quite a bit about WCS and BTTWS there too. And my song tags (particularly the bttws ones) probably have more stuff in there too!

[invisible-pink-toast]

it's one of my least favourite episodes of the show, and that final fight/speech is sickening. we all know there were problems on set and in the writers room - including disagreements over character portrayal and intention, and a general lack of care when writing poc.

a lot of the disagreements were around spike, which is so clear in this scene and episode because it's a mess. and making robin into this villain bent on revenge on "poor spike" (when he's trying to avenge is mother's death, and when he's being manipulated by the first! something everyone else seems to get a pass for) while being the Only recurring black man in the show is just... yikes.

you could make some honestly small changes that would make it sooo much better, but you could also really change things up to give characters on the verge of the show ending some real closure as their character arcs start to come to an end. a while a go i read/responded to this post and that's what got me thinking about it.

if i rewrote 'Lies My Parents Told Me' i'd split the episode like this:

A Plot: Spike’s trigger and Wood’s revenge.  B Plot: Xander finding some closure from his shitty abusive family with Faith’s help (Faith shows up earlier in the season) C Plot: Buffy and Giles relationship issues

For the A Plot the first half of the episode would be pretty similar, only really changing once we get to the Robin vs Spike section.

Also Spike's flashback/trigger during the fight is different. His mother doesn't become some weird incestuous vampire because honestly what??? does that have to do with anything???

A newly sired William and Drusilla have been living it up (in a selfish, hedonistic, classic vampire way). William finally goes home to see his mother (in the middle of the night), only to find his housekeeper in distress. She lets him in, and he excitedly says that he has a cure for his mother’s illness. (he’s also wanting to feed from the housekeeper, but tries to contain himself to sire his mother first). But she’s chasing after him, saying that he’s been missing for days, and that Anne’s worries overtook her and she took dreadfully ill. He’s not really listening, saying that it can all be fixed now. But when he arrives at his mother’s bedroom he sees her lying there, still. Dead. He goes into shock. Tries to rouse her, but the housekeeper says she died in the early evening, and the priest is coming in the morning. William goes into a rage, he kills the terrified housekeeper, and attempts to sire his mother, but it’s too late.

In the present, Spike finally faces this memory, finally confronting his guilt here and acknowledging that turning his mother would not have saved her. And now the trigger has no power over him anymore. He comes to and he’s dangerous and powerful and fully in his own mind again for the first time in years. no chip, no trigger - just Spike. He’s been attacked in an unfair fight (justified on Robin's part, but not from Spike's perspective) he's beaten and bloody. But he gets up and he fights Wood off and he wins. And Spike could kill Wood here, has the urge to, he is still a vampire after all. And there’s nothing holding him back - the Scoobies don’t trust him, Giles wants him dead, Buffy would probably understand.  There’s nothing holding him back… except his soul.

Spike is standing over Robin Wood, fully vamped out, decked in Nikki’s coat, ready for a reckoning. But instead of seeing a threat or an adversary - Spike sees a man. A man heartbroken at the death of his mother, heartbroken that he wasn’t able to save her (despite the fact that he never would have been able to as a literal child), burdened with that guilt for years, and desperately trying to right that wrong with an act of violence that he thinks will bring closure to himself and his mother. Spike looks at Wood and sees himself. Spike realises that all that heartbreak and guilt and despair he felt - he caused that same feeling in someone else. The same way Angel looks at Drusilla and sees the horrors of his past, Spike sees that in Robin.

Spike has a soul now. one he fought so hard to get. And suddenly the weight of that leather coat that’s always brought him confidence and been a symbol of his power and status - feels heavy and wrong and tainted. And instead of an act of “mercy” of… not killing someone for trying to get justice for their dead mother, Spike’s mercy could be trying to help Robin find some semblance of closure. Spike can’t let Robin kill him - there’s an apocalypse coming, Spike knows he’s needed, knows there’s people he cares about who are relying on him. He can't change the past, but he can try to change the future. So Spike takes off Nikki’s duster, and lays it at Robin’s feet. He apologises, not for forgiveness (Robin would never and should never forgive him), but so that Robin knows that what Spike did haunts him too.

Spike leaves that room full of crosses behind him, leaves behind the guilt over his own mother’s death, leaves behind that layer of his old self, and leaves that room less as ‘The Bloody’ and more as ‘William’.  Robin sees that change in Spike. It doesn't change how he feels about Spike, it doesn’t make things fine between them. but it does leave them in a sort of the-apocalypse-is-coming-truce. And instead of being left disgraced and beaten and alone, Robin could have been left with a glimmer of a new perspective into the world of vampires and slayers and how it can change people for better or worse. He is left with a piece of his mother that he loves so much. 

As far as Buffy goes, she can still fight with Giles (the episode is 'Lies My Parents Told Me' after all) and rush to Robin's place, she can even still have a badass general speech. But it's different too.

Buffy feels betrayed, doesn't understand why Robin (one of her closest allies) is going to kill Spike (her boyfriend one of their potential greatest weapons) just for being a vampire, even when he's got a soul. And if Spike isn't dead, Robin would be. She needs every advantage she can get in this fight. Buffy finds Spike, beaten but alive, and hugs him. He’s surprised, but returns the hug. She asks if he’s alright, and he says the trigger’s gone. Buffy is relieved to see Wood alive, and confused as to why he's got the duster in the room full of crosses. Spike says not to blame Wood, that he was just trying to get justice for his mother.  Buffy realises that Nikki Wood was the slayer Spike killed. Spike leaves, and Buffy goes to talk with Robin. She says that she can understand his pain and anger, but that they’re fighting a war, they don’t have time for personal vendettas. She says the mission is what matters, echoing Nikki’s words to a young Robin. He nods, holding the jacket. 

If Spike is going to be the "Champion" in the final episode, something like this would have shown him earning that title.

Also come on the idea of Spike and Robin coming back to the house clearly having been in a fight, and Robin now has (or is wearing) the duster, but neither of them mention anything about it - and the rest of the Scoobies/Potentials just 👀 before deciding they have bigger things to worry about??? would've been so good.

god i forgot how much i hate spike's speech to robin in "lies my parents told me." he makes so many comments about nikki wood "signing up" for the job, or how she didn't quit slaying for her son -- a speech that strikes so hollow and fucking wrong after we've just spent seven seasons establishing that buffy has never been able to quit. buffy did not sign up to be a slayer, and she's TRIED to quit like three times, and her moral obligation to the world as established by her position as the slayer has always taken precedent, and has NEVER been escapable. spike knows this too!!! he knows slayers!!! so he just, what?? says this shit just to hurt robin?? spike, ensouled vampire who is (in theory) haunted by his victims, straight-up doesn't give a shit again?? i know the soul doesn't suddenly make him good and moral. i am consciously aware of that. but god. i fucking HATE THAT SCENE.

[destielwarmsthecocklesofmyheart]

…oops…