#except goddamn family dinner lol

[six-of-ravens]

officially done everything on my Saturday list, despite the universe conspiring against me in multiple ways (plus making soup lol). plan for this evening is to clean up the bathroom (which is. very muddy due to the shower mishap), bath and do my bi-weekly exfoliate/shave/mask/whatever routine (very much needed bc you know. the mud.), and then try and chill out for a while and leave everything else for tomorrow.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Let's Eat!

(That is, let's live, want, connect... oh, you know what I mean by now)

I like how Yaad and the other living villagers can casually talk with the ghosts, because for all intents and purposes they were also ghosts... In fact, those who stayed and spent centuries going through the patterns of life even though all true meaning had been lost long ago were MORE "ghosts" than those who lost their corporeal forms because they wanted to escape so badly that they went wandering... That's so fuckin' good. I wanna eat this writing.

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Kabru just randomly walking out of the bushes the second Laios starts considering politics...love him. He was summoned. His PR spidey senses were going off.

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look at my boy, establishing his own authority.

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Lol this was me when we moved house last month, and my job was to just stand in the new living room and tell people where to put which box or piece of furniture. It's an important job in a task with a lot of people!

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FUCK YEAH, THAT'S MY MAN! HE LOOKS GREAT!

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fucking love the trope of "one savvy friend in the crowd who deliberately gets a supportive chant going." Of course it's Kabru.

Though it's important to note that the first thing someone called was, "The demon-eater's here!", and there was muttering while no one was entirely sure if that was a good thing or not... Kabru didn't start the rumble of the crowd; the rumble of the crowd is unavoidable, and you have to be aware of that. Laios has always been aware of that, he's just never known what to do about it, and so tried to avoid it. But he's not avoiding it anymore - so Kabru started the hype of the crowd.

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They're both right! In order to eat, you need to kill! A memento of a meal IS a spoil of war!

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They're unhappy bros... /laughing

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Shown: man desperately reassuring himself, and psyching himself up to eat this stupid dragon meat

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DADCHUCK. Istg my father has said the same thing to me.

p.s. oh thank god he's fully dressed again. it was indecent.

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Marcille is so resigned to this, and so...determined to see it as her own choice. "We all agreed", "I've got to go" - and I'm sure she does see it as her own choice, in a way, because this is how the world has always worked and she knows that. She knew that going in. Those who do ancient magic are arrested by the Elves of the West, that's just the "natural" consequence. She might've gotten away with it if she'd gone undiscovered, or if she'd stayed in the dungeon forever, but she didn't - she chose to pursue her craft, to save Falin, and to do everything after that, too, and so she implicitly chose the consequence with it. If it's unfair, well, thinking that changes nothing, so it's better not to think it.

Until Laios is like, "Actually, I might have political power now? And I'm SO goddamn tired of myself and people I love being punished just for being different, and interested in unconventional things. Let's try something."

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WELL-FUCKING-PLAYED! GET THEIR ASSES, LAIOS! It's especially great because I'm pretty sure he knows the answers to all of this by now? Power move!

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Is she sitting there completely nude except for jewelry and a short robe. Icons only, honestly. Though "we have the luxury of time" feels like so much of a threat from an elf.

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Hey, you did objectively defeat him! Okay arguably the Lion did but Laios did it first, he just also then talked to him, and got grabbed by friendly vine-tentacles. You didn't kill him, but that's not what Delgal asked for anyway!

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thinking about that post that observed that Thistle's driving madness was specifically getting Delgal home for dinner, to eat all together as a family again, and he wakes up to the sound of the people of the Golden Kingdom eagerly inviting the (new) king to eat, and him responding...crying... What is lost is lost, but life will go on.

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The moment when a character decides to lie to another character for their own good is always so compelling. The little moral quandary microcosm.

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So Yaad did know something of what passed between Delgal and Thistle, that drove Thistle down the path to dark magic. He know what it was his grandfather blamed himself for.

This is SUCH A GOOD AND QUIET-SAD DEATH SCENE, but as a consummate fan of 'actually, living is much much harder than dying, and much more interesting too', I do like to think Thistle lives and has to...figure out what to do with his life. And that 'what to do with his life' ends up including ancient magic mad science with Marcille.

...But honestly, even though that'd be fun for me, it seems almost cruel to Thistle. He's been alive for so long. Those he loved most are gone. He held the demon back from the surface, trapped in those books, for so long, even if it was in no way whatsoever with the good of the world in mind. If anyone deserves this peaceful death in (what he thinks are) his brother's forgiving arms, it's him.

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Unfortunately, my love, as has been ceaselessly proven in this story: that's life.

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Marcille has caught onto one of the major themes! However, this story still isn't in favor of afternoon special Moral of the Story - not of letting the characters wrap things up with a bow, at least. You just go on living and wanting and learning about and connecting with and killing new things, forever! That's how it goes! You never know everything and you're always a little bit starving!

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I really love this grumpy old man, and I want him to stick around and be one of Laios's advisors. He's an old gnome, he'll die as soon as an average tallman would anyway.

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This is a) very touching coming from Mithrun, who is only just regaining his own will to live, and b) almost tautalogical in this story EXCEPT that it is also clear that merely "wanting" doesn't mean you get to continue to live, it only means that you're alive in this moment - you also need to want to live MORE than whatever's trying to kill you wants to live.

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GREAT VISUALS!

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And then it's so small, so small that she could leave it behind entirely but Falin is still so kind that she picks it up anyway! Falin who looks at everyone and everything - ghosts and brothers and mad mages and dead dragons, the latter of whom were both violently oppressing her soul - and thinkgs "I gotta help." She's so good!

I'm really going to need to write a like 2k post-canon character study about how Falin has part of the spirit of a dragon in her chest which unfurls while she travels abroad and curls up again and hides when she's home with Marcille and especially with Laios, and how it's a metaphor for her own independence but also literally there is the spirit of a dragon. At the end of it she figures out how to nurture and commune with the dragon enough to have her own flight-capable wings.

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THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL-LOOKING. AUTOPHAGIC SELF-CREATION FOR THE FUCKING WIN!!

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YYEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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fuck it, have a collage, because this bitch-ass website is about to cut off my photos-per-post. It can't HANDLE the sheet joy of Falin resurrection reunion hugs!!

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so many people love her, or at least are really emotionally invested in this now!! /sobs

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Lmaoooo

Laios: wracked with food poisoning because he ate raw walking mushroom Falin: great distress! Marcille: trying very hard to help, also thinking sooo hard that He Is An Idiot. [btw I love how it looks like she takes up holding her hair back with a band] Kabru: having his weekly moment, as he has for the past many years and will continue to have until he dies, of wondering if he shouldn't really have just killed this guy rather than let him become king

Kabru definitely wrote this whole ending narration btw. This is his press release from like 40 years in the future. And those kids! An orc kid and a kobold kid, and zooming out to show kids of other races, all playing together and going to lunch together!!

And then they all lived, and hungered and ate and killed and wanted and sought understanding and connected with one another and were part of the great circle of life, as happily ever after as one can get.

This story truly was delicious...in dungeon!

[depressedhouseplant]

🔞 Illusion (Woosan) 🔞

Synopsis: As a joke San’s friends set him up with an escort. Except he falls for the beautiful man he can never have

WC: 3700

Tags: Rich Boy San, Escort Wooyoung, Public Hand Jobs, Anal Sex, Unprotected Sex, Top San, Bottom Wooyoung, Brief Homophobic Language, Light Bondage, Polite Suggestion of Sommophilia

A/N: This is the escort fic of which I spoke. It wasn’t one of the better performers. Let’s see what y’all think. Bonus Content can be found here

Wooyoung rested his head on the doorframe as he watched San leave. They were both getting tired of this. Forget tired. Exhausted. Wooyoung knew he would always be San’s dirty little secret. If San expected to keep the life he knew, he had to pretend Wooyoung didn’t exist. His family had only just accepted that he was gay. Now they were on the hunt for a “suitable husband”, as San called it, for him. Wooyoung scoffed as he closed the door. It was the 21st century. San should’ve been able to pick who he wanted to be with. The Chois didn’t see it that way. They were old money- very, very old money and dragged all the traditions that came along with it. Then Wooyoung’s phone dinged in his pocket.

I miss you already, baby. Check your nightstand. 💕

Wooyoung didn’t remember anything being on his nightstand when they left the bedroom. Yet there was a carefully wrapped box sitting there waiting for him. Wooyoung opened it and pulled out a watch. It was a limited edition Rolex. Wooyoung knew they were almost impossible to get. Of course, this was Choi San, not some random person off the street. There was an inscription on the back.

Love you until the end of time - Your Sannie.

Wooyoung quickly texted him back.

WTF? I don’t believe you!

San: I love you too, baby :)

Wooyoung: This is too much & you know it.

San: NOTHING is too much for you. You know that.

Wooyoung furiously wiped the tears out of his eyes. The watch was beautiful and he wouldn’t be lying when he said one of his clients bought it for him. Except that San wasn’t a client anymore. He was the love of Wooyoung’s goddamn life.

When can you come back?

Wooyoung had given up on sounding desperate.

I can sneak away tomorrow night. Take you to dinner?

Wooyoung almost dropped his phone. They weren’t supposed to go out. They could risk being seen and then San’s parents would freak. Even if they didn’t find out that Wooyoung was an escort, he wasn’t someone they’d already vetted.

Dinner?

San: It’s our 6 month anniversary. I want to take you out. Then maybe we’ll make love for hours when we get back, but I expect you to be wearing my gift.

Wooyoung: Make love? Who are you & what have you done with San? LOL

San: I might be a lil stoned.

San had confessed to getting high when he got back from seeing Wooyoung. He claimed it made the transition back to who he was supposed to be easier. Wooyoung had chastised him, but it hadn’t done much. Wooyoung knew would make his drinks a little stronger after San left. It was completely unhealthy, but neither of them had anyone they could confide in.

Wooyoung: Go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow night.

San: I love you so much, baby.

Wooyoung: I love you too.

San sent a long string of hearts and kissy face emojis. Wooyoung returned with a heart and a kiss. He carefully put the watch in the box and back on his nightstand. The sheets were still a mess from earlier. Wooyoung had started insisting they put a towel down so he didn’t have to change them every time. He knew he should shower, but he didn’t feel like it. He simply dropped his robe on the floor and crawled into bed naked. Wooyoung had ridden San hard earlier, so the pillows smelled like San’s hair. He buried his face in one and let the aroma seep into his nostrils. It was more than just his shampoo and cologne. It was him. Why did this have to be so fucking complicated? Why was he still playing by their rules? Wooyoung would’ve told his parents to fuck off a long time ago. Of course, San genuinely loved his parents. Wooyoung didn’t. They’d kicked him out of the house when he came out and he’d made his own way in the world since.

Wooyoung’s good looks were how he got picked up by a pimp when he was 17. He lied about his age and no one bothered to check (more likely didn’t care). He slowly saved up enough to buy his way out and try his luck on his own. A few coy smiles and well placed compliments got him in the door with a much higher class clientele. Now he was 25 with an enviable list of clients and a 5 figure price tag for one “date”. Several of San’s friends had hired him for San’s birthday to pretend to be a blind date. The joke ended up on them because not only did the date go extremely well, San became one of Wooyoung’s clients.

Feelings didn’t get involved until they’d been seeing each other twice a week for almost a month. Wooyoung had stopped charging him after only a few times when it became obvious they both enjoyed the sex as more than just escort and client. San was the first one to confess. They were sweaty and half asleep, both on their 3rd or 4th orgasm of the night when San let slip “I love you”. Wooyoung had stretched and rolled on top of San, telling him that he loved him back. Somehow they’d worked up the energy to have sex again and fell asleep with San still inside Wooyoung.

Wooyoung hugged the pillow and sighed.

“Maybe someday,”

The next night Wooyoung was fixing his tie and about to put on his watch when he heard a key in the door. He’d given San a key to save them both the annoyance of having to buzz him up every time.

“And what if I’m not ready?” Wooyoung called from the bedroom.

“Then I guess I’d just have to take you before we left,” San replied. He was wearing the same dark gray suit and sapphire blue tie he’d worn on the night they met.

“If I didn’t already have all my clothes on, then I’d most definitely take you up on that,” Wooyoung kissed him.

“Haven’t put my present on yet?” San noticed the watch in Wooyoung’s hand.

“Maybe I was going to let you put it on me,” he held out his arm and San slid the watch on his wrist.

“Perfect fit,” he grinned.

“Impressive,” Wooyoung smiled back

“I remembered you have delicate wrists,” San took Wooyoung’s hands and wrapped them around his waist. He was bigger than Wooyoung and had initially been hesitant to go hard in bed, but Wooyoung had proved he was more than able to handle him.

“Weren’t you going to take me out?” he asked.

“I am. I might just be skipping ahead to what we’ll be doing in here later,” San kissed Wooyoung’s neck.

“Slut,” Wooyoung giggled.

“Proud of it,” he grinned.

San took Wooyoung to the same restaurant they’d gone to the first time.

“Ah, Mr Choi,” the host said when they arrived.

“I apologize that we’re a little late,” he said.

“Don’t worry. I’ll show you to the rest of your party,” he replied.

“Party?” San asked.

“Oh, I didn’t know it was supposed to be a surprise. I’m sorry,” he said, leading them through the restaurant. San was almost crushing Wooyoung’s hand. This could only mean one thing…

“Mom, Dad, hi,” San wasn’t hiding his surprise very well.

“San, you didn’t tell us you’d be here tonight,” his mom said.

“Um, yeah, it was kind of a last minute thing,” he replied. Wooyoung was pretty sure he was losing circulation.

“Who’s this?” His dad asked.

“I’m Wooyoung. San’s friends introduced us at his birthday party,” Wooyoung held out his hand. San’s dad shook it and his mom gave a demure nod.

“Maybe we should just go,” San said anxiously.

“We can stay. If your parents don’t mind,” Wooyoung squeezed San’s hand.

“Not at all. Please sit,” his mom said. San pulled out the chair for Wooyoung and he gracefully sat down. He didn’t end up with a client list full of closeted rich guys because he didn’t know how to handle himself in five star restaurants in front of lesser royalty. San sat next to him and couldn’t stop rubbing Wooyoung’s thigh. Wooyoung gave him a calm down look.

“So Wooyoung, what do you do?” Mr Choi asked.

“I’m a social planner,” he replied.

“What's that?” Mrs Choi asked.

“It’s like a personal assistant, but I manage the social calendars of select clients. It’s a bit of a niche market, but I enjoy it,” he replied, taking a sip of wine.

“I don’t suppose we could hire you,” she smiled.

“Unfortunately I’m fully booked, but if you ever need a recommendation, I’m sure I can help,” Wooyoung returned the smile.

“I don’t feel well. Excuse me,” San practically bolted for the bathroom. Wooyoung got up and followed him.

“I can’t believe they’re here. They’re fucking here. All I wanted was a nice dinner with you and then to be able to go back…” San started babbling.

“Baby, breathe,” Wooyoung caught him by the shoulders. “Let me handle this.”

“A social planner? That’s a hell of a way to spin it,” San said.

“If you keep letting me spin it, I’ll have them begging me to be their son in law by dessert. I don’t charge $10,000 a night because I can’t charm men away from their money. However, I can’t do it if you look like you’re 10 seconds away from heart failure for the rest of dinner. Okay?” Wooyoung told him.

“Okay,” San nodded.

“Then we’ll go back to my place and I’ll take you nice and slow. I’ll savor every inch of that perfect cock of yours. I’ll have you whining for me,” Wooyoung slid his fingers down the front of San’s pants. “I’ll have you whimpering ‘Wooyoungie, please. Please let me touch you’.” He flicked at San’s belt buckle with his thumb and weaved his belt loose. He wrapped his other arm around San’s shoulders. Wooyoung could feel San’s erection slowly growing near his fingers.

“That’s what you want, isn’t it, Sannie? You want me on top of you, slowly riding you, with you completely helpless. You remember the first time I tied you up and how hard you came. Then I sucked you off and made you come for me again. Then I got you hard again and finally let you touch me. You remember that,” Wooyoung could feel the tip of San’s dick in between his index and middle fingers. San was panting, but this time it was from trying not to come simply by listening to Wooyoung. “Do you want me to get you off, Sannie?”

“Please,” he begged, digging his fingers into Wooyoung’s back. Wooyoung steered them into a stall and deftly unzipped San’s pants with his thumb.

“You have to be quiet. We can’t attract attention,” Wooyoung’s lips barely grazed San’s ear. San whined. “Good boy.”

Wooyoung gripped the tip of San’s cock between his fingers and rested his thumb under the head. San jumped.

“You have to hold still, too,” Wooyoung whispered. San tightened his grip on Wooyoung’s back and nodded into his shoulder. Wooyoung deliberately massaged San’s dick with his thumb. He whimpered and whined into Wooyoung’s neck. “I wish I could see your pink cock right now. How pretty it is. How slick it is. How it’s shaking and just waiting for me to impale myself on it. I might be getting a little hard thinking about having it filling me up - feeling just how good you stretch me and how it’s almost too much, but not quite.” Wooyoung carefully pressed his hips against San’s thigh so he could feel Wooyoung’s own erection starting to bloom.

“Wooyoungie, please…” San’s eyes were starting to water.

“No crying, darling. Your parents will already have enough questions. I don’t want to have to explain why I made you cry,” Wooyoung pressed harder with his thumb. San jerked and grunted. “I think we’ve been in here long enough.” Wooyoung ran his thumb over the tip, dipping into the slit like he knew San loved. San came bucking against Wooyoung’s fingers and squeezing tears out of his eyes.

“That’s my good Sannie,” Wooyoung cooed as San spilled come on his fingers. San muffled his moans in Wooyoung’s neck. San finished and Wooyoung let go, wiping them down with toilet paper. Wooyoung gave him a quick check for any rogue come stains. He zipped San back in when he determined everything was satisfactory. San’s hands were shaking while he washed them.

“You still look terrible,” Wooyoung said.

“I’m trying not to,” he breathed.

“Let me handle it. Smile, nod, and let your parents pay for dinner,” Wooyoung told him. “This was my job, baby. At least before I became a kept man.”

“Okay,” San breathed.

“Thank you,” Wooyoung kissed him. “Come on.” He led his half fucked out half painfully anxious lover back to the table.

“Everything okay? We were beginning to worry,” Mrs Choi said.

“I’m fine,” San coughed. “Just fine.”

“Honestly, this is a little embarrassing, but this is only our second date. I know San’s birthday was a while ago, but we could never find a good time to meet up. We weren’t expecting to run into you tonight,” Wooyoung smiled the dazzling smile that got men into bed with him and paying for his penthouse.

“San, you never mentioned that you met someone,” Mr Choi said.

“Like he said, it’s only our second date,” San replied.

“How do you know San’s friends?” Mrs Choi asked.

“I met Yeosang a while ago. I suppose he thought San and I would be a good fit,” Wooyoung told her. It wasn’t a total lie. Yeosang had initially contacted him and paid the deposit for their joke. His other friends Yunho and Mingi had made up the difference.

“Mom, is this really…?” San started. Wooyoung squeezed his knee under the table.

“It’s fine,” he replied. Parental interrogation was old hat in his world. At least they weren’t going to call him a worthless faggot. He assumed.

“What about your family?” Mr Choi asked.

“Unfortunately my parents and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. I haven’t spoken to them in years and that’s for the best. It’s a shame, really. They pushed away their only child,” Wooyoung stroked San’s knee with his index finger. He knew how to spin anything. Now he was an abandoned only child who somehow had the manners of someone raised at San’s level.

“That’s such a shame. I can’t imagine not having any contact with your child,” Mrs Choi said. Got her. Wooyoung always knew the moment he got his hooks in someone. San was also an only child.

“I’ve gotten used to it. There’s something to be said for learning how to survive on your own in the world,” he replied.

They continued through the rest of dinner, Wooyoung easily fielding all of San’s parents’ questions. He even made a show of trying to pay. By the time San and his dad left to pick up the respective cars from the valet, Wooyoung and Mrs Choi were quite comfortable with each other.

“I certainly wasn’t expecting to meet San’s date tonight, but it was very nice to meet you,” she said.

“I admit, it was a bit awkward to have a ‘meet the parents’ on the second date,” Wooyoung replied with an easy smile.

“San has always been a bit high strung,” she said.

“I noticed, but I promise to take good care of him,” Wooyoung told her.

“Thank you. He needs someone like you in his life. His friends can still get a little...wild,” Mrs Choi sighed.

“Don’t I know it,” Wooyoung’s tone didn’t give away anything. Wooyoung never gave up anything he didn’t want to give. The cars pulled up and their respective partners came to get them.

“It was a pleasure to meet you both,” Wooyoung said as they left.

“I’ll be back later,” San mumbled in their direction.

“Do you need me to drive?” Wooyoung asked when they got in the car.

“No,” San replied.

“I had your mother eating out of my hand so stop panicking,” Wooyoung told him. “And unofficial permission to date you. You should be tap dancing right now.”

“It’s just...they just...I’m scared…” San said as he put the car in gear.

“What are you afraid of? Tell your Wooyoungie,” he looked over at San.

“They’ll find out that you’re...an escort,” San finished.

“Was an escort,” Wooyoung replied. “Currently you’re paying all my bills.”

“I love you so much. I’m terrified they’ll find out the truth,” San put his hand on Wooyoung’s thigh. Wooyoung tucked a piece of hair behind San’s ear.

“Let’s go home and I’ll make you feel better. You still want that, right?” Wooyoung asked. San nodded.

“Then your Wooyoungie will strip you out of that suit, tie you to the bed, and take you until you can’t stand it anymore. You’re free to cry as much as you want this time, Sannie. We don’t have to make any excuses why tears are coming out of those beautiful brown eyes.”

“I’m trying to drive, Wooyoung,” San huffed.

“Do you want me to stop?” Wooyoung cocked his head.

A beat of silence.

“No,” the other man replied.

“Good,” Wooyoung slid his hand up almost onto San’s cock as he leaned over and undid his pants.

“What are you doing?” San asked.

“Just releasing the pressure a bit,” Wooyoung’s smile curved all the way up to his impeccably sculpted brows. He pulled his hand back away from San’s crotch. “And the best part is you don’t have to leave tonight. You can stay and I can wake you up in the middle of the night sucking your dick. In the morning I might let you fuck me into the mattress. The options are endless, Sannie. Maybe you’ll wake up and decide to slide into me while I’m asleep. Then I’ll wake up filled with your cock.”

“You...you’d let me do that?” San had started to sweat a little and his boner was threatening to expand completely out of his pants.

“You know my limits. That’s not one of them,” Wooyoung replied.

“What if I start to...you know...fuck you in your sleep?” San ventured.

“I’m a light sleeper. It wouldn’t take much to wake me up. It would be a great way to wake up, though,” Wooyoung winked at him.

“I…” San’s brain had all but stopped working. Wooyoung kept smiling.

San practically carried Wooyoung up to his apartment. The concierges had learned to look the other way a long time ago when they saw Wooyoung.

“Tie me up, baby. Please,” San breathed when they got upstairs.

“It would be my pleasure,” Wooyoung purred. He carefully pulled the silk ties out from under the mattress and San obediently lied on his back. Wooyoung swiftly tied him down and sat on his thighs. He lazily ran a finger up San’s quivering dick. Precome was dripping down the tip.

“You want your Wooyoungie that much, Sannie?” Wooyoung swirled the sticky liquid in circles around the tip.

“Yes,” San replied. Wooyoung could see his chest starting to heave. He slithered up San’s body to his mouth.

“I’m gonna make you cry, sweetheart,” he kissed his lover hard. He nipped at San’s earlobe before he sat back up and generously lubed San’s cock. He slowly lowered himself down going only a fraction of an inch at a time. San was already whining. “Did I not satisfy you earlier?”

“You did,” he replied.

“Then why do you sound so needy?” Wooyoung asked as he bottomed out.

“Need...you…” San panted.

“I knew that,” Wooyoung slid his hands up San’s bound arms. “You always need me.”

“Mmhmm,” San nodded as Wooyoung kissed him. He pressed his chest against San’s and slightly bucked his hips. San grunted. Wooyoung took San’s lower lip between his teeth and pulled slightly before he sat back up. He began slowly grinding his ass down on San’s cock.

“You want to touch me, don’t you darling?” Wooyoung braced his hands on San’s thighs, arching his back and exposing his entire chest and hardened cock.

“Yes,” San squeaked.

“How badly do you want to touch me? Enough that I should untie you?” Wooyoung looked down at him.

“N-no, wanna come l-like this,” he stuttered.

“If you’re sure,” Wooyoung ran one hand down his own torso and traced the tip of his dick with his finger. It came back wet with precome. “You want a taste?”

“Please?” San’s pupils were blown wide with desire.

“Open your mouth and stick out that talented tongue of yours,” Wooyoung instructed. San did as he was told and Wooyoung dragged his finger down the center of San’s tongue.

“Taste good?” he smirked.

“More?” San whined.

“No, my love. That’s all you get,” Wooyoung brushed his wet finger down San’s cheek. Then San’s eyes started to water. Wooyoung pulled his hand back and kept slowly working San’s dick. “Now is my baby getting desperate?”

“Uh huh,” San noised.

“How desperate?” Wooyoung prompted.

“Wanna c-come h-hard. Inside you,” the the other man breathed.

“Of course you’re going to come inside me, silly boy,” Wooyoung watched San’s hands flex against the restraints. If he really wanted to, he could get loose. They both enjoyed the illusion more, though.

“P-pound you,” he gasped.

“You want to pound me? You want to wreck me on your cock? What if I let you?” Wooyoung asked. San looked up at him. Wooyoung untied San’s wrists and then his ankles. San flipped them over and began slamming into Wooyoung. He was practically snarling while he fucked him. Wooyoung dug his nails into San’s back every time he hit his prostate. He heard a cracking sound, but wasn’t quite sure what it was. He was too focused on the cock ramming his ass.

“Fu-uck,” he grunted as he started to come all over both of them. San was still growling and bucking into him then fell on top of Wooyoung when he started coming. They were practically glued to each other when they finished.

“Uh, Woo,” San said.

“Yeah?” he replied.

“I think I broke the headboard,” San replied sheepishly. Wooyoung looked up and sure enough there was a sizable crack roughly where San’s hand had been.

“Well, so much for making love when we got back,” he laughed.

“At least you were wearing my gift,” San held up Wooyoung’s arm.

“We got it half right,” Wooyoung smiled.

“I love you, Wooyoungie,”

“I love you too, Sannie,”

[thestarrynightslover]

I'll Make It Okay for You - Part 1

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader

Word count: 3,666

Warnings: Discussion, yelling, some angst, mentions of drugs, and drug abuse. 

Summary: What happens when (y/n) (y/l/n), Harvey’s secret crush and a junior partner at his firm, openly defies him in front of everyone?

You can find Part 2 here.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Suits, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: So, this is my first Harvey Specter fic and I’m obviously quite unsure about it, lol. This might’ve ended up like one big mess, cause I tried to combine a bunch of Harveys I wanted to see. The perfect recipe for disaster, right? Anyways, I hope it doesn’t suck too bad and, please, feel free to give me feedback, cause I’m also here to learn!!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

You’d barely stepped out of the elevator when you were met by your secretary that morning. That couldn’t mean anything good.

“Morning, (y/n/n). You’ve got an emergency meeting with Jessica today. Gonna give you the schedule on the way there.” Lucy stated, leading you on the opposite way to Jessica’s office.

“Oh, I got the memo; company’s under attack again. She wants me on the frontlines this time. Louis is probably running around saying ‘We’re at war, people, war!!!’, or something like that. But why aren’t we headed towards the boss’ office?”

“Apparently, uh, she wants y’all to convey at Harvey’s office.” She said hesitantly, as if afraid of your reaction.

“Are you kidding me? It’s the first hour of the morning and she wants me to go see that smug face of his?” You pouted childishly.

“Smug and hot, you mean.” Lucy corrected you, getting an outraged look from you in response, as she usually would by saying anything positive about Specter.

“Shush,” You said, motioning for her to stop talking, “ one shall not praise Harvey Annoying Specter around me.” You stated full of obstination, but the younger woman just laughed you off and said:

“Well, here we are. I guess I’ll just have to send you an e-mail with your schedule, since, once again, we spent our schedule minutes of the day talking about “the enemy”.” She mocked with gestures and everything this time. That Lucy really was a piece of work, she timed the whole thing perfectly, in a way that you couldn’t even repudiate her insinuations because you were already standing in front of Specter’s office door.

Not long after you had entered and Jessica had officially started the strategy-meeting, though, all eyes in the room turned to you, as your phone started ringing in your back pocket. "Shit! I'm- I'm so sorry, guys, I guess I-"

"Can you please take your job seriously for once in your life, (y/l/n)?" You heard Harvey Pain-In-The-Ass Specter rudely remark, as you tried to swallow your embarrassment.

“Well, like I was trying to say, I’m sorry. Gonna turn it off right now, won’t happen again.” You said, directing your apologetic look to Jessica.

“You should just go ahead and answer it, could be something important.” She calmly told you.

“Especially now that you’ve already interrupted our work.” Specter chipped in again, which just gave you more fuel to answer the goddamn phone.

“Hello, yeah this is her.” You confirmed to the man on the phone, while taking a few steps towards the corner of the room. “What??? Are you sure? Oh my God! O- okay, just tell me which one and I’ll be there as soon as possible! Right, thank you.” Everyone’s eyes were on you, trying to understand what made you look so distressed. Except his, of course.

“Wait a second. Are you leaving right now?” He asked with a mix of annoyance and irritation in his voice.

“Yes, I am. I’m sorry, Jessica, but this is a family emergency. I have to go.”

“Well, I just hope you know that this doesn’t look good for you, (y/n).” She said, voice inexpressive.

“I do and, honestly? I couldn’t care less about that right now.” You firmly told her, while hoping your career wasn’t over by the next morning.

“I hope everything goes well for you and your family, (y/n). If you need anything, and I mean anything, just let me know.” Louis told you with that childish smile of his. Jesus, even in a moment like this, he tried to flirt with you.

“Thank you, Louis. That’s very kind.” You faked a tiny smile.

“Unbelievable.” 

“What?” You asked, turning back to face Harvey.

“Your firm is under attack and you’re leaving because of some stupid family crap?” Was he even serious?

“Precisely. And I don’t really care what your thoughts are on it. Our priorities are clearly very different.” Who the hell did he think he was to say anything about your family’s issues?

“Well, that shouldn’t matter because, the minute you walk in here, through those elevators out there, you’re supposed to leave all things personal behind.”

“Oh, right. I’m so sorry that I’m not some heartless lawyer like you, who’s just in it for the petty fights in the name of money-making.” Shit. You needed to get the hell out of there before you said something else to make Specter wanna kick you out himself. So you did. Stormed out like there was no tomorrow, leaving nothing but the very shocked Donna, Jessica, Louis, Mike, and Rachel behind. Oh, yeah, and a very pissed-off Harvey Specter.

Okay, maybe you were a little too harsh, but given the place you needed to go, to do what you needed to do, you didn't care about Harvey, your job, or anything else.

---

It was much later on that same day, around dinner time, that you heard a soft knock on your door. But how could someone be at your door, if the doorman downstairs hadn't announced any visitors? Were you dreaming? Well, the day had been so tiring that that wasn't exactly impossible… Nonetheless, you made your way to the door, whilst holding your very needy three-year-old nephew in your arms. Not that you could blame Henry after the day he’d had.

Since you weren’t expecting anyone, it was reasonable to believe that, whoever it was, was going to be a surprise. But not in a million years would have you ever guessed that Harvey Specter was the one knocking at your door. Especially considering what had happened at the firm earlier. How did he even know your address?

“Hi, (y/l/n). I didn’t know you had a kid.” He stated with a bit of surprise of his own, pointing to the little boy you were carrying.

“No, uh, I don’t have any.” You managed to say, trying to control your shocked expression. “This is my nephew.” You clarified again, a little more at ease this time.

“My name’s Henry. What’s yours?” You heard your nephew ask with his cute child-voice.

“Harvey. It’s, uh, it’s very nice to meet you, Henry.” Harvey told the boy, holding out his hand for him to shake, as a sweet smile came to his lips.

“Is he your friend, auntie (y/n/n)?” Henry asked you hesitantly, before making a move. The Don’t Talk to Strangers Rule must’ve kicked in his mind. 

Before answering him, you hesitated a little bit yourself, though. Was Harvey your friend? Obviously not, but if he came to your apartment in the middle of the night like this, it was probably because of something important. Work-related, of course. Which meant you’d have to let him in, so you settled for what would be the easiest classification for a three-year-old.

“Yeah, bud, he is my friend from work.” Hearing that, something in Specter’s eyes changed, you didn’t really know what, though.

“Well, then, can he come play with us?” He gave you such a cute look, that you almost said yes right on cue. But you obviously couldn’t. 

“You’d have to ask him, but I’m sure he has a lot of other, more important, things to do now.” You tried to explain to the little boy, giving Harvey a look. But you didn’t get too far, as the lawyer quickly said:

“Of course I wanna go play with you! That is if your auntie’s okay with that…” Now he was mocking you, that was the only explanation.

“Can we play with him, then, auntie (y/n/n)? Please, please, please?” God, what horrible thing could’ve you possibly done to deserve this particular punishment?

“Um, I guess... If he really has nothing better to do-” Harvey didn’t even let you finish your sentence.

“I really don’t.” He said, shooting you and Henry a bright smile that you’d never seen before.

“Okay, then, come in. Please disregard the mess, I got this stuff to make dinner, but someone just won’t detach, right, mister?” You asked your nephew with fake annoyance in your voice, as you tickled his sides a little bit. He just laughed at you. Though what really caught your attention was the fact that Harvey, too, was chuckling lightly at the scene, as he started picking up your groceries’ bags from the floor. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you, what else?” You gave him a weird look because, well, it was a weird situation. Maybe he noticed your discomfort because he added: “You look tired, so I’ll help you by making dinner and putting the rest of these away.”

“You’re kidding, right?” There was no way in hell that the All-Mighty Harvey Specter was gonna get domestic for you, of all people. Since he didn’t bother to answer, you went on: “First of all, what was it that you really came here to do, hum? And, second, I don’t need your help with anything.” Normally you tried to be kind to everyone, but, then again, Specter wasn’t exactly your normal kind of guy.

“Well, first of all,” he started in a tone of mockery, “that was rude! Look at the example you’re setting for little Henry!” Oh God, as much as you hated to admit it, he was kinda right, because you had completely forgotten about the little boy still cradled in your arms. “Second, we can talk about the reason why I came here later,” after your nephew’s asleep, was implicit in his speech, “third, it looks like you do need some help. And, for your luck, I happen to be a very good cook when I want to.”

“But-” You could barely begin your sentence, as Harvey sharply cut you off:

“You see, buddy,” he started, motioning to Henry this time, “the quicker we get your auntie on board with the game plan, the quicker we’ll get to eat and go play together!” Son of a bitch! Using a child to get to you…

“Can we please, auntie? Please?” How could you not crack after that pleading?

“Fine, but I swear I’ll make you pay if we wake up with food poisoning tomorrow, Specter.” You told him playfully, trying to lighten the mood after all of your bluntness.

“Oh, trust me, (y/l/n), you won’t. This will be the best meal you and the young man here will ever have in your entire lives.” He said cockily, but without the usual arrogance level, if that even makes sense.

A few hours and a really great dinner later, you and Henry couldn’t help but snicker shamelessly at Harvey’s ridiculous faces, as the three of you played a game on your living room’s floor. Trying to catch your breath from your giggles, you glanced up at the clock and realized that it was way too late for your nephew to be out of bed like that. So you broke up the game, announcing:

“It’s bedtime for you, Mr. Henry.” You watched the faces of the pair turn into ones of pure disappointment, as they prepared to pout.

“Just a little longer, auntie (y/n/n)! please!” The little boy started.

“Yeah, auntie, just a little longer! Please?” This time it was the grown man, one of the toughest Wall Street lawyers.

“As moved as I am by your synchrony, guys, the answer is a big no. C’mon, bud, let’s go brush your teeth. And then straight to bed. So say bye to Harvey, and thank him for being so nice to us tonight.” He looked between you and Specter as if still hoping for a hail Mary of some sort.

“Bye, Harvey.” He sounded so sad, but then he smiled brightly again, as he repeated what you’d told him to say word by word: “And thank you for being so nice to us tonight.” Hearing that, both you and Harvey chuckled lightly at the young boy, who quickly added: “Will you come see us tomorrow too?”

“Uh, we’ll, uh, we’ll see about that, okay, little man?” He tried to let Henry down slowly but, watching the boy’s expression become a sad one instantly, he added: “It’s just because both your auntie and I have a lot of work ahead of us tomorrow, but I’ll do my best, okay?” That was definitely a side of Harvey you’d never seen before, he had even bent down to be on your nephew’s level.

“Okay.” Henry said quietly, seeming to be a little happier, too.

“Okay, then let’s just go upstairs already.” You took the boy’s hand to guide him towards the spare bedroom’s bathroom, all the while shooting Specter a look that told him to wait for you a little longer.

“I’ll wait for you down here.” He said, proving he understood what your eyes tried to transmit.

So you headed upstairs with your nephew and, after a good fifteen minutes of brushing Henry’s teeth, helping him into his PJs, and tucking him in, you finally managed to come back to the living room, where you found Harvey looking through some of your photos displayed on the sideboard. For a minute or two, you just watched him. It wasn’t that you liked what you saw or anything. It wasn’t. It was more like postponing the weird conversation you two were bound to have, because, after all that had happened in those few hours, the atmosphere was, at very least, a strange one. But, almost as if he’d felt your gaze on his back, the lawyer in him was switched on, and he interrupted your thoughts by saying:

“Ah, you’re back. Good, because we need to talk.” You just motioned for him to follow you into your home office. But both you and Harvey looked so informal to be in that kind of environment, that you just indicated the small couch on the wall opposite to your desk for you to take your seats in.

“So, uh, before you even say anything, I wanna thank you for being so kind tonight,” a small smile came to your lips, as you remembered, not only the evening but how your nephew had used almost those exact same words, already imitating you, a little earlier. Specter smiled too, you noticed. “and I also wanna apologize. If you came here to talk to me… I must’ve made you waste a lot of time, huh?” You tried with a half-smile this time, as embarrassment started taking over you.

“What? No, of course not! I'm pretty sure that I told you I didn't have anything better to do, didn't I?" He calmly asked with a smile.

"Yeah, but I'm not buying it. You're Harvey Specter, isn't that what you're always saying? And Harvey Specter always has something better to do, isn't that right?" You shot back in a mockery tone, regaining your confidence.

"Well, maybe. But, not today. So don't apologize, and don't thank me. I'm the one who should be thanking you, I had a really good time tonight." Okay, now you were shocked. He had a good time?

"Uh, okay, um, so... What was so urgent that you had to come here in the middle of the night?" You nervously ranted, while tugging your hair behind your ears. He just stared at you, so much so that you almost repeated your question.

"Um, yeah, about this morning… That's why I came here…" You were already guessing that that would come up eventually, but it was the topic of your conversation? "I know that you and I always had our differences, and maybe even some rivalry-"

"Some rivalry? Dude, I'm just a junior partner, and ever since I started on that firm you've been persecuting me-"

"I wouldn't say persecuting…"

"Oh, you wouldn't?"

"Not since you made junior partner anyways. Now it's just a healthy rivalry between work friends…" He tried to use what you’d told your nephew earlier. 

"Oh, so you do admit you were persecuting me when I was an associate, huh?"

"Shit." He muttered quietly, as you watched him with a victory smile on your lips. "You know what? Hell yeah, I did persecute you when you were an associate." Hearing that blunt admission of guilt, you just couldn't find anything to say. “You wanna know why? I did that because, from the first time I saw you doing your job, I saw this very thing that I see now: you kicking ass, you think I wanted to admit this to you? I’ll answer it myself: no, I didn’t. The only reason why it happened is that you led me to it.” He blurted out, completely knocking you off your socks.

“So, um, you treated, you treat me like shit because, um, because I’m good?” You asked, still unsure of what to think about his confession.

“Well, that was part of it, sure. So, you see, I could understand it when you weren’t particularly thrilled at the perspective of working with me. But, this morning, you said that I’m a heartless guy who only cares about money… Is that really what you think of me?” This time he sounded genuinely sad? When Harvey said that he’d come to your apartment to talk about that morning, you thought he was gonna reprimand the shit out of you for disrespecting him ⎯ your sort of boss, a senior partner ⎯, but, apparently, he was asking about it on a more personal level. A level you’d never really thought played a part in your relationship with him.

“Oh, Harvey…”

“Be honest, please. I don’t want your pity. You don’t even know me all that well, so don’t try to minimize anything. I can take it.”

“That’s not what I was gonna do. And, trust me, you’re probably the last person in the world I’d pity.” You told him with a sly smile. “You’re right. I don’t know you all that well. Or, at least, I didn’t this morning. But I do know that you’re not heartless. Also, I was really out of line then, I’ve seen you fighting tooth and nail for a lot more than just money in that firm. You’re loyal to your firm and friends like no one else and, tonight, I watched you sitting on the floor and playing with a little boy. And, trust me, that meant more to him than you’d ever know, especially after today… Anyways, what I’m really trying to say is that I was so damn wrong and that I’m sorry. I’d gotten some pretty nerve-racking news beforehand, not that that’s an excuse but...” You told him, meaning every word and trying hard to show how much you regretted your previous actions.

“Wait, what news?”

“Ah, it’s nothing for you to worry about, really.” You tried to brush him off.

“Oh, c’mon! You said all those nice things about me, but when it comes to your life and your problems you still don’t trust me, isn’t that right?” His tone was sharply inexpressive, but his eyes showed he was actually hurt.

“What are you talking about? Oh my God, Harvey! I’ve relied on you for a number of cases that I really cared about! I let you in on my apartment! I let you spend an entire night around my nephew! Of course, I trust you!”

“Then what the hell is the problem? You think I’m not gonna give a damn about your family issues? Is that it? Because I am literally begging you to tell me about them!”

“I don’t wanna tell you because I don’t want you, or anyone else on the firm, to think that I’m some pathetic little girl who uses her family issues as an excuse to get out of a tough fight.” You confessed in a lower tone, slightly embarrassed, just hoping he would understand and stop poking. “Things are very different when you’re a woman, you know…”

“I would never think that about you. Family is important. Especially if it’s made of people like Henry…” He said, reassuring you, even though there was a hint of sadness in his voice. “Besides, you said you trust me, so you need to trust me when I say that I wouldn’t betray you by telling people about your problems. I’m not here as your boss, (y/n). I just wanna help you.” He sounded so sincere and, if you were being honest with yourself, you kinda really needed to vent.

“Okay, um, where to start? I have two sisters: Henry’s mother, Kat, and a fifteen-year-old, Lisa. I’m the older one of all three of us. Lisa’s sick, like very sick, so my parents, who are both retired, are with her at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, to try and get her better. In the meantime, Kat was supposed to go to college, as well as care for her son, between my parents and me, she wouldn’t even need to provide for them or anything. But, a while ago, she overdosed for the first time. That’s when we found out about her addiction. We’ve already tried a million different things but nothing works. So, my parents and I threatened to make her lose her parental rights over Henry, hoping that it’d be a wake-up call for her, but it backfired. She just took the boy and disappeared, then today I get that call, from the police department, saying that she was in custody for drug distribution and endangering the well-fare of a minor. They asked me to go pick my nephew and, maybe, get Kat a lawyer.” And, just like that, you’d told Harvey Specter, of all people, everything. Tears rolling down your cheeks and him pulling you into a hug.

If anyone had told you that that was how your night was gonna go, you would have definitely laughed them out of the room. But now, just sitting there, being held and caressed by Harvey, as you let your armor down, it was finally beginning to look like things were gonna be okay. 

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 4

Wu Family Chat

Wu Erbai: Good evening, everyone. I have a time-sensitive issue to discuss, I will need your attention for a moment.

Wu Xie: uncle, whatever you heard, I can explain.

Wu San Xing: brother, whatever you heard, I won’t explain.

Panzi: pls hush you two:/ this sounds important

Wu Erbai: Yes, thank you Panzi. Wait. What are you doing on this chat?

Panzi: I apologize, sir, I—

Wu San Xing: fuck off posh spice if panzi leaves I leave

Wu Erbai: Yes. You are quite well-practiced at doing that.

Wang Pangzi: LMAO GET REKT

Wu Erbai: Why on earth are—you know what, it doesn’t matter. Of course you’re here. I assume Zhang Qiling is also here?

Zhang Qiling: Incorrect. I am on the roof.

Wu Erbai: …

Wu Erbai: Anyway. I would like to let you all know that there has been an incident at the warehouse. Please do not spread this around, it sounds like the issue can be contained. I am on the way there now. All is technically well, but it would be appreciated if anyone who is free to help right now could come to the warehouse. Immediately. Armed.

Wu Xie: !!! armed you say?? What kind of incident??

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, NO.

Wu San Xing: I can’t come I’m busy practicing leaving

Panzi: We will be there right away, sir. What is the situation?

Wu San Xing: love to see you taking charge;)

Wu Erbai: I am choosing to ignore that in favor of dealing with this lesser problem in my life. A certain box has exploded in a certain room at the warehouse, Panzi. Certain things have…emerged.

Panzi: We will be prepared, sir. ETA 20 minutes.

Wu San Xing: what would help us prepare is if you could be a little more vague pls

Wu Xie: Emerged?? So these are sentient things?? :D

Wang Pangzi: UGGHH DAMN IT I LITERALLY JUST GOT DINNER OUT OF THE OVEN FML…WELP XIAO GE COME ON DOWN WE GOTTA GO DO A THING, SOUNDS LIKE OUR IDIOT IS GONNA GET INVOLVED REGARDLESS OF OUR WISHES, BIG FUCKING SURPRISE THERE

Wu Erbai: Your eager assistance is so appreciated. Pangzi and Zhang Qiling—I’m sending you the basic access codes, Panzi already has them. Wu Xie, I would prefer for you to stay in the car and maintain a command center.

Wu Xie: uh sure I will:) of course:)

Wu Erbai: That’s two smiley faces too many for me to trust that you will listen.

Wu Xie: :(

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, may I speak to you privately. In the kitchen. Now.

Wang Pangzi: OH SHIT LOL WHATS THE VERSION OF BEING EXILED TO THE COUCH WHEN ONE OF YOU ALREADY SLEEPS ON THE ROOF HALF THE TIME

Wu Erbai: Not that this isn’t fascinating insight into what I’m sure is a very pleasant bosom friendship between our families, but time is of the essence here, gentlemen. I’m five minutes out from the warehouse and I’ve just been informed that the things have…spread out.

Wu San Xing: Ah thanks for clearing that up so well good thing we are going in well informed and all

Zhang Qiling: I’m not sure that you have the high ground on keeping people informed about important things.

Wu Erbai: Wonderful riposte, Zhang Qiling, or should I call you Xiao Ge?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wang Pangzi: THE TEA IS EXCEPTIONALLY HOT THIS FINE EVENING

GOTTA GO NOW, ME AND THOSE BOSOM FRIENDS HAVE TO GET OUR GEAR.

Three hours later….

unnamed chat:

Zhang Qiling: Don’t ever do that again.

Wu San Xing: ?

Zhang Qiling: You were aware of what you were doing. Whether or not you calculated the potential danger to the rest of us, I don’t know. But don’t ever do that again.

Wu San Xing: or what tho

Zhang Qiling: I’m fond of Panzi and I don’t want to have to kill him to get to you. It would be a waste of a good man.

Wu San Xing: shit dude alright

Wu Family Chat:

Wu Erbai: Good work tonight, everyone. With the exception of a surely accidental misstep where my brother *seemed* to be bargaining for something with a tomb ghost and *accidentally* endangered all our lives, it was well-handled. You will see the funds in your accounts tomorrow.

Wu San Xing: ugh when are ppl gonna get over this already

Panzi: Thank you, sir. We will be going straight home.

Wang Pangzi: IF I SEE YOU AGAIN YOU FUCKING FUCKER

Wu Xie: calm down Pangzi we don’t even know what that tablet said

Wang Pangzi: PEOPLE WHO HAPPILY SKIP INTO COMBAT SITUATIONS WITHOUT BACKUP DONT GET A VOTE ON THIS

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TRUST XIAOGE’S ANGRY CAT FACE

Panzi: Wu Erbai, Wu Xie, Pangzi, Xiao Ge—lovely to see all of you, even under circumstances such as tonight’s warehouse fight.

Wu Xie: *hugs* <3

Wu Erbai: Panzi, San Xing—it was indeed an experience, having the two of you here. Panzi is welcome back anytime.

Two hours later…

Zhang and Wu Chat

Wu Xie: hey, you didn’t say anything to my uncle right? He’s being all weird and apologetic over text.

Zhang Qiling: You were there, you could see I did not speak to him at all during the evening.

Wu Xie: good point sorry. anyway how much trouble am I in? Bc like I know, I know, I touched the box right after you said “Wu Xie, don’t touch that box,” but in my defense it looked so interesting and it had the Zhang crest on it, I really wanted to explore it further and I didn’t realize it had a tripwire, I actually think it dates back to—

Zhang Qiling: Sometimes I worry that the Zhang family is destined to only ever bring you harm.

Wu Xie: ??????ZHANG QILING>:(

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I’m feeling introspective this evening. It may be Pangzi’s cocktail.

Wu Xie: uh-huh. get off the goddamn roof and come hang out on the couch. No more vodka for you. I have your favorite fuzzy blanket and a book I’m reading. I know you like cuddling when I read aloud.

“Bring me harm” psshh wait til Pangzi hears about this. get down here.

Zhang Qiling: I will always come for you.

Wu Xie: see you say stuff like that and then you expect me to *not* pounce on you???

[honeypirate]

Just In Case part two

Part one here

The awakening

(Lol that’s kinda dramatic)

Bakugou x fem reader married pro hero au

The first paragraph is kind of a spoiler for season five ep one.

Anyway!! I hope you like this!! I hate angst with not a good ending so I had to make it a good ending with family fluff.

(You went to the hospital as a hero so he uses your hero name at the receptionist)

Kirishima feels like he’s in school again as he races his car from the office down to the hospital except this time Bakugou was in the passenger seat instead of on the hood.

“Can you go any faster? Fuck” bakugou grumbled and kiri laughed once “I’m going seventy in a 45 I think I’m at the limit. Plus we’re here” before he can even stop the car, Bakugou is slamming the door and running. “Lightseeker?” He’s asking the receptionist who seems a little star struck “come on!” He shouts and slaps the counter making her jump. “DynaMight” recovery girl says from the doorway and he’s never moved this fast before in his life.

“What happened? They told me she was gone” his voice is angry, he’s pissed. He’s never been this god damn angry before in his life. They said she was dead but she’s alive! These goddamn doctors don’t know shit apparently.

“We don’t know. She was dead. She was gone. They were about to take her to the morgue but her body lit up with electricity and then she was breathing and alive and screaming for you. We just got out of surgery and she should still be under anesthesia until the morning.”

(Flashback)

The first responders get there and bakugou checks out, they order him to move rubble or move other things and he helps how he can moving immediately. They free your body, one first responder had her hands on your face the whole time already healing what she could and pulling your body back together as the heavy piece of building was levitated away.

He followed behind them and sat by you in the ambulance, quiet and in shock as he numbly watched them work over you. He watched, like an out of body experience, as you flatlined. Watched as they tried to resuscitate you. Watched as the woman’s hands fell from your body and watched as her mouth moved calling the time of death.

He stared at your face the rest of the ride, ingraining your face in his memory. Trying to grasp the fact that he will never see you smile again, never hear your voice, never experience parenthood with you.

That’s what breaks him. Thinking of the half painted pastel green room, flashing back to finding you laying in the middle of the room unsure of the color again (the fourth color you’ve painted it) he laid beside you and you talked about colors and baby names for hours looking around the small room and imagining your future.

He had quiet tears going down his cheeks and he’s only semi aware of the woman handing him a card to the hospital morgue and their grief therapist before the police chief is there wanting a statement.

(Back to present)

He looks through the room window, watching you breathe with the help of a breathing tube. Your right arm was in a cast and your chest was bandaged under your hospital gown.

He was scared, terrified the moment he walks through that door he’d wake up and this would be a dream, you’d be gone.

Recovery girl has gone and he’s by himself but he still can’t go in there. “Hey man” Kirishima says softly “what happened?”

“She came back. They don’t know how”

Kirishima takes in Bakugous state, noticing the worry in his eyes and how he seems frozen to his spot. He decides to take the lead. “Hey y/n” Kirishima says gently as he walks into the room, Bakugou feels panic and follows him quickly.

“I’m glad you’re back. I don’t know how I could have lived without your caramel cake and your sense of humor. No one can put Bakugou here in his place like you could. He’d be insufferable without you so truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you”

Bakugou glares at him, but is grateful for him taking the lead and helping him through his fear.

“Hey pretty girl” Bakugou says and takes your hand, Kirishima smiles softly and pats his shoulder as he leaves the room.

“You scared the fuck outta me” he said, tears filling his eyes again as he sits in the chair beside the bed. “Never do that again” his voice cracks and he drops his head to the bed next to your left hand which he has clasped between his. Hot tears falling to the crappy hospital blanket that scratches his face. He was so broken, so terribly ripped to shreds when he thought you were dead. And to have himself be ripped to shreds and then tell him you’re alive? Fuck it hurt. He cried harder than he ever had from the pain of losing you to get you back, he didn’t know how to handle the whiplash of emotion.

At some point he must have fallen asleep because he woke up to the sensation of you running your fingers through his hair. His head shot up and the moment he’s looking into your eyes he’s crying again, his eyebrows knit as tears spill from his eyes “you dumbass” he mutters with a thick tongue and you chuckle “don’t cry sweetheart” you say softly and brush his tears away with your left hand, not moving more than that. “I’m right here” you whisper, your eyes filling with tears.

He stands and leans over, pressing his forehead into yours. “Please” he whispers. Not really sure what he’s asking, just knowing he needs you to be with him longer. “I’m here. I’m with you. Right here” you say and press your lips to his in a little peck causing his breath to hitch.

When he relaxes and sits back down, his hand never leaving yours, you tell him your experience.

“I woke up a little while ago as the doctors removed my breathing tube and I made them be quiet so they wouldn’t wake you” he chuckles gently, everything still feeling so fragile, “always thinking of me” he says and reaches out, brushing your cheek softly and you lean into his touch

“I remember what happened” you whisper and he raises his eyebrows “when you died?” He asks in a whisper and you nod “do you wanna talk about it?” He asks gently and you sigh softly

“I was floating in the darkness. I was wondering where you were. I wanted you. All of my favorite memories of you and I together filled that darkness. I saw what our future will be like” you close your eyes as tears start to fall “it was so beautiful. Our family” he feels tears prick his eyes as you talk and his hand tightens around yours.

You look into his eyes and smile “I don’t know if it was real. But she looked just like you, Katsuki. Crazy blonde hair and she had a quirk where one hand is explosions and the other was electricity. She was funny and sweet and she had my eyes” he smiles softly imagining the child “she ran to me and placed her palm against my chest and used her electricity and then I was here”

He lays his cheek against your thigh facing you and closes his eyes “I don’t know if it’s real or just a dream” he says softly “but I’m grateful to whoever it was who gave you back to me”

(Skippy skip)

He’s been so much more open with his feelings after that day and it’s been amazing. You two had gone to couples therapy just to help guide you both through that process and it brought you both closer together.

Healing was bitch. Physical therapy was a bigger bitch. But Bakugou was there every step of the way in your recovery. You’ve never seen him more attentive since you were dating. He got home from his patrol and wrapped his arms around your middle as you cooked dinner “I missed you today. The office is so empty without you” he mumbles against your neck and you smile, reaching up and cupping his cheek “I’ll be back soon” you say and turn in his arms “buuut maybe not that soon” you say with a knowing smirk and he raises his eyebrows “what do you mean?” You pull the stick out of your pocket and hand it to him

He’s quiet for a moment, looking down at the capped pregnancy test in his palm and at the pink line that confirmed his dreams “is this..” he looks up to you and you see the tears in his eyes “we’re gonna have a baby, Katsuki”

(Skippy skip)

He opens the room to the doctors office panting “sorry 'm late” he says as he takes his spot next to you in the bed, your hand taking his and squeezing it. “Right on time” excitement fills your voice and he kisses the top of your head. “I see the feet here” the doctor points out and types into the computer “and here’s the hands… and here is the little face” your eyes are hooked on the screen, so enamored by seeing your little one in your tummy. You hear a sniff and look up to see bakugou crying and it makes your heart swell “and here it is..” she turns to you “do you wanna know the sex?” You and bakugou both say yes at the same time and she laughs “it’s a girl”

(Skippy skip)

You hear an explosion in your house and panic, running to check on your daughter. You bust through her door and find her holding a busted and charred plastic dinosaur. “Sweetie what happened?” You kneel in front of her and she laughs “he was going to eat my Barbie and I had to save her”

Later that evening when Bakugou is sitting down with her explaining her quirk and his, that’s when the electricity manifested and she shot a bolt at your tv making it explode. You stared for a moment then looked at Bakugou both busting up laughing before helping her with ways to control it.

Later that night

“It’s real” you say as you cuddle into his side “it’s her” he hums and holds you close “she brought me back” he fights back tears “my precious girls” he says softly.

[coffeesuperhero]

fic: you can’t go home again

2900 words, somewhere on a continuum between Gen and pre-OT3, rating: Mature. Eliot-POV, set immediately after Low Low Price, but like, in the correct universe, where Low Low Price Job came before the Rundown Job instead of after. 

I wrote this because it bugs the heck out of me that afaik there’s no in-canon answer to why Eliot cut his hair, so I wrote 2900 words of post-Low Low Price blathering to explain it to myself...and actually addressed that in like one sentence, lol. I am who I am. 

It's an hour from the house that used to be Eliot's home back to Oklahoma City, or at least, it's an hour if you care about speed limits. On this particular occasion, Eliot makes it in a little more than half that. He spends the time he made up driving aimlessly around, looking at all the shit that's here now that wasn't here when he left. What his hometown lost, this place has found. He doesn't really know how to feel about that. Good? Bad? Vindicated? He left home behind the first time for a long list of reasons, but one at the top of the list was that he didn't see a future where he was, not for himself, not for anybody else, and what do you fucking know. He wasn't wrong.

Even so, maybe he could have called at least once in the last decade.  For all the good it would have done. At least he could say he tried. But he didn't, and now there's so much water under the bridge there's an ocean where there used to be a river.

There's a parking garage entrance on his right, one of the ones downtown connected to one of the big old hotels, and he pulls into it and just sits there for a bit. Looks at the empty space on the passenger seat where the six pack of beer was sitting. Looks at the signs on the wall of the garage directing him to the hotel's entrance. Thinks about staying the night. Thinks about how he's supposed to be back in Portland in a couple of days, because he asked that nice lady from the last job on a date, a real one, because he was suffering under some kind of delusion that he could be a normal guy instead of a miserable fucking bastard whose longest relationship to date is, ha, probably the one he doesn't actually have with Parker and Hardison.  

"Fuck," he says, staring at himself in the rearview mirror.

Whatever he decides to do tonight, he's pretty sure at this moment that all attempts at normalcy are a no-go, so he pulls out his phone, finds Tabitha's number, and cancels all of that bullshit with what he hopes is an appropriately apologetic note. He doesn't type You reminded me of home and that was nice but you know what, I tried and it turns out they're right, and you can't go home again, and trust me on this one, you're better off without me, because he may be miserable but he knows full well that misery doesn't actually love company, misery doesn't love anything, and he's not passing that on to a nice lady who's just trying to run her business and go about her day.

He hits send, and then he turns off his phone and leans against the headrest.

"Fuck," he says again. Now what?

He assesses the situation. Plays out his options. So, this fucking hurts, first of all. But that's fine. Eliot's no stranger to injuries. Getting them, fighting through them, healing up after. First rule of injuries: don't fucking lie to yourself about how bad it is. Well, the first rule is probably, get yourself the hell away from whoever did that shit to you, but the second one is definitely some variation on be honest about how much it sucks. And this shit may be an emotional fucking injury but that doesn't mean it doesn't fucking suck. Hell, it's his own goddamn dad, and that bridge isn't just burned, it's in little pieces floating downriver. It'll keep hurting tomorrow, regardless of what he does tonight. It'll probably hurt for a while.

How do you treat any of that? If this was just a broken bone or a concussion or some shit he'd know what to do, but he's kind of at a loss, right now. After all, the last time he went through this particular kind of injury the way he treated it was to fuck off and join the army, and none of that is an option anymore for any number of reasons.

He looks at the hotel sign again. What the fuck is he gonna do here tonight, anyway? He's close enough to Bricktown, which has really fucking taken off since he left here, so he could probably wander into some bar, pick somebody up, bring them back to a hotel room-- and then what? Fuck them and hope in the morning it doesn't sting as much?

Maybe it wouldn't be the worst way to spend an evening but it also just doesn't hit right, tonight. He's not good company right now. Doesn't want to fake being charming or happy or whatever for somebody for a night so he can feel just a little less miserable for a few hours before he leaves this place and never comes back. He came all the way out here for a real conversation that he's never really going to have, and now he has a very real ache in his chest from years and years of regret, and whatever he does after this he just wants it to be real, too, even if it's just wallowing in real misery for a while.

That does sound more like what Nate would do, though, and that isn't particularly interesting to him. He knows where that road goes and it's not anyplace he wants to be, because if it was Nate in this situation there's a good chance he'd crawl right into a bottle and never come out. And there's Sophie, who would paint on a convincing smile while she quietly bottled up all the pain and the hurt to use later for motivation, like it was some magic potion she could drink later to fuel a con, and who knows, maybe she could, but he doesn't think he can. And what would Hardison do? Eliot snorts. Like he even has to ask. Stay, definitely. Drive back down there right now and try again. And again, and again, patiently offering his heart to people whether they deserve it or not. That's Hardison all over. And Parker-- Parker would cut and run and you'd never know she'd been there.

Except no, that's not right. That's Eliot's play, or it used to be. Parker would never have come back in the first fucking place. Parker would have known better.

If he had known better, he'd still be in Portland, probably cooking the two of them dinner, because that's how he spends more evenings than he'd like to admit, lately. That, or re-planning the menu for the brewpub, because someone has to, and it looks like that someone has to be him, because if he leaves it up to Hardison the pizza will have anchovies and pineapple and the beer really will live up to Parker's promise of mouth crimes. They need him. And-- well-- okay, he needs them, too, probably. If he wants something real, they are definitely that. Sometimes they're just real weird, but even on their worst days hanging out with them is better than sitting here alone. They're his; he’s theirs. They're family. The only one he's got.

So he starts the truck and drives straight to the airport and asks the ticket agent if there's any way in hell he can get back to Portland tonight.

But there's nothing direct from here to Portland left going out today on any airline, and no matter how much he sweet talks the nice lady behind the counter, that ain't changing. She kinda reminds of his grandmother, which honestly is just not helping his emotional state, and is probably the reason why, when he opens his mouth to plead his case to this lady what comes out is, "I just really need to be with my family," instead of literally anything else.

"Bless your heart," she says, reaching across the counter to gently pat his hand, and fuck, isn't that just the worst thing she could've said. People from other places tend to assume that phrase only means one thing, but the actual truth is that it can mean anything from boy, are you a dumbass to I see your pain and I want you to know that you are not alone in this cold dark world and I don't rightly know how but trust me, it is going to be okay, and this is the latter one, for sure. And he has held up under torture, under hours and hours and days and days of physical pain, without cracking, but this sweet lady and her voice and her eyes that crinkle up like his grandma's and her bless your heart kindness are going to be the death of him, probably. He gives her a very watery smile in response, and she pats his hand again and says, "Let's find you a flight."

It takes four connections and an overnight flight to do it, but eventually, Eliot and his newfound best friend, Miss Roxanna, queen of the American check-in counter at the Will Rogers World Airport, work this shit out.

"Listen, honey," she says, as she hands him his tickets, "I don't know what you've got going on and I don't need to, but it's gonna be all right."

"Thank you, ma'am," he manages to say, and he's glad he has to run to make it through security and find his gate because he can't stand here and do this shit much longer without spilling his guts to a total stranger.

He doesn't sleep on the plane to L.A.. He does try, he just can't get there. Every time he closes his eyes he just sees his dad's stupid hardware store. So he stays awake. He even does the crossword, or most of it. He eats the plane snacks when the flight attendant comes around with the basket of slightly fancier shit that they serve in first-class. Maybe he flirts with her a little, but only out of habit. Mostly he just stares out the window and wonders what Parker and Hardison are doing right now and why he thought he needed to leave in the first place, and then he thinks about that last job and that old guy, Martin, and realizes that he was always going to try to go home again, so maybe he can at least stop beating himself up for that.

He cuts his hair in the bathroom of the American Airlines Admirals Club Lounge in terminal four of LAX at one in the goddamn morning, because he's tired and plane-sweaty and even though they have showers here his hair just won't stop sticking to his damn neck and he's got two more flights before he's back in Oregon and he's about over it. So he palms some scissors from the lady at the lounge desk when she's not looking, hits the bathroom, and hacks it all off. It ain't clean or neat and honestly he doesn't give a fuck. It suits his mood. And when he looks at his reflection and feels a little pang that it's gone, that's even better. What does it matter? It's just hair. He's not Samson; his hometown wasn't Delilah. He doesn't get his power from it or some bullshit like that.

Because airlines are bullshit, from L.A. he actually has to go all the way back to Dallas before he can get to Seattle and his last flight, but at least after all of that the flight from SeaTac to Portland is over almost before it starts, and he shuffles off the plane and out of the airport like a zombie coming back to life. Eliot never thought he could be so goddamn grateful for Portland, so different from the home he left behind and still carries around in his heart. Portland, with all its rain and tall cedars and the looming specter of Mount Hood in the distance, is nothing like the place he left, but god, he could almost fall to his knees at the sight of all of it now.

What he means to do, when he gets in his car, is go to his place and pass out for a few hours before he inevitably finds his way to the brewpub. The drive is so easy and there's so little traffic this early that he just sort of autopilots himself around, and he doesn't even register that he's not at his own place until he's putting in the alarm code on Parker and Hardison's apartment door, muscle memory piloting his fingers through the sequence when his tired brain can't be bothered with the recall. The code's keyed specifically to him, he knows, so if anyone up there is awake and cares to see it, they'll know he's here and probably go right back to sleep, because it is early the fuck o'clock and he knows it.

He's exhausted and he feels like he's been on twice as many planes as it took him to get here, but he walks in, closes the door quietly behind him, and tosses his keys on the table by the door where he always leaves them when he's here. And it's just right. This, right here, this specific place, is just where he needed to be. He sinks onto the couch in the living room, too tired to haul himself any further, to the spare room that stays spare, just in case. Just in case of Eliot. He knows that. They've never told him it's his space. They also never told him he couldn't leave his shit there. So he's got clothes in the closet and maybe a few other things besides, a little home away from home, for the nights when he's here too late or has an extra beer or just plain does not want to go home to an empty apartment when his heart is here.

He's trying to will himself to get up when he hears the door to their bedroom open, catches a few lines of whispered conversation, first Hardison, then Parker. There's noise in the kitchen-- the soft beeps of the coffee pot, the click-hiss of the gas stove, the sizzle of bacon-- and then there they both are, right beside him.

Nobody looks at him funny. Nobody even says a word. Hardison sets a steaming cup of coffee on the coffee table in front of him; Parker follows it up with a plate of toast and bacon and eggs. A few minutes later they curl up, one of them on either side of him, holding their own plates, and nobody tells him to eat or drink, they just leave him be. But that midnight meal in the American lounge was hours ago, now, and he should eat before he passes out, probably, so he reaches for his plate and digs in, grateful that someone around here who isn't him has apparently figured out that you can have something besides hot pockets or cereal for breakfast.

The silence is comforting for a while, until it isn't, with neither of them saying a damn word, and what are they waiting for, anyway? He's never here this early unless it's for a reason, even if the reason is just that there wasn't anyplace else he wanted to be.

"Don't you want to know what I'm doing here?" he asks finally, when it seems like they're just going to keep on waiting until he says something.

"Why would you need a reason to be here?" Parker asks, and Hardison just looks up from his phone and says, "Yeah man, you're home," and shrugs, like of course there's nowhere else he would be, and god, if he's home, then no, there really isn't anywhere else. It’s funny, because up until this moment, at least in his head, home has still been a tiny town two-thousand miles east of here, but that’s not right, not anymore, and now he knows it, for sure. Looks like the lady at the ticket counter was right after all. It was gonna be okay.  

"Yeah," he says, with a grateful smile. "Yeah, okay. I'm home."

He's so tired he can't even clock who moves first, maybe Hardison, maybe Parker, hell, maybe it was him or even all of them together, but the end result is, there are two sets of arms wrapped around him and two sleep-warm people pressed against his ribs on both sides. And it's been a long day and a long year and a long life, to be honest, and he may be tired but he's not alone and he's home, so he just lets them hold onto him for a while, and he holds on right back. Maybe you can't go home again, but you sure as hell can make a new one. This one, at least, he is going to do his goddamn best not to burn to the ground.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 265: Tamaki What Did You Eat

Previously on BnHA: The heroes began their invasion of the Ol’ Villain Marriott. Down in the basement, Re-Destro was all “what’s going my fresh villain citizens, what a beautiful day, well I guess we should start that meeting” and they were all “WE’RE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK” and he made a face and I laughed. Class 1-B, Edgeshot, and Midnight then jovially killed some people, and then we cut to Dabi and Hawks! Hawks was all “sorry it has to be this way Bubaigawara but I’m gonna have to arrest you” and Twice got all Harry Potter in that one scene from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, and then he did the thing, and fucking Hawks just fucking stood there and DID NOTHING. So now he’s gonna have to fight 100,000 Twices I guess, and meanwhile Dabi is running up the stairs on his way to intervene and somehow make things even more chaotic. Also either Hawks or Dabi thinks heroes are scum, and I’m still not clear on which. But basically it’s safe to say that angst is on the way, friends.

Today on BnHA: Tamaki turns into a horse. I have questions. Dark Shadow fights fucking Re-Destro and fucking destroys him in like two seconds flat, like holy shit whaaaaat. Then Tokoyami just hops on inside of Fatgum like a goddamn marsupial, and spends several pages like this, during which I completely can’t focus the entire time but I do remember that we learned that Machia won’t be joining the fight because he apparently only listens to Tomura, so that’s convenient I guess. Then we cut to Twice and Hawks (I literally typed out “Dabi and Hawks” just now and had to go back and change it, so you can see where my mind is at), and Hawks defeats Twice and is all “guess I’ve got no choice” and is seriously going to kill him (hahaha what the fuck), but then DABI FUCKING BURNS THE ENTIRE ROOM DOWN WITH EVERYONE IN IT WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN THE CHAPTER JUST ENDS. I feel like I just got slapped in the face.

so before we start, let me just mention that I got a ton of asks and messages about the whole “HERO SCUM” line, and I appreciate everyone keeping me up to date on the twists and turns of our wild little fandom lol. so as you all probably know, in Viz’s translation of the last page they had Dabi saying the line (“Twice, this isn’t your fault. as always... scummy heroes are to blame”). so naturally everyone was either like “whaaaaat!” or “I KNEW IT!!”, but then Caleb went and deleted his original tweet saying that it was Dabi, and replaced it with a new tweet, the gist of which was basically “I don’t fucking know either” and admitting he wasn’t an authority on the matter. so to sum everything up, we basically don’t know and will never know until the anime airs this in about three years’ time, or until the only man who can actually clear this up decides to stop drawing weird mushroom men for five goddamn minutes so he can clarify for us

anyway, so in the meantime it’s time to see who’s having angst this week! probably everybody! let’s just assume it’s everybody and save some time

ohooo so we finally get to see why they had Tamaki and Tokoyami in the vanguard, eh?

(ETA: gotta say, “you” is an awfully impersonal way to address someone whose entire body you are shortly going to stuff inside your little quirk papoose and tote around like a fanny pack.)

honestly this isn’t much of a mystery though lol. Tokoyami is obvious, and with Tamaki it’s probably because of his kraken thing if I had to guess

...excuse me sir is this leading where I think it’s leading

sir. Mister Gum, sir. please do not tell me you are actually about to lead these children into the building and down into the basement. first of all the thought of you and Tamaki in yet another basement is already giving me PTSD so no thanks. and second of all, ???!?!?!?!?! [gestures incredulously to the two children] ?!?!?!???? [emphatically taps my computer screen with the wiki page showing their respective ages] ???!?!?!?!?!?! [gestures wildly toward a picture of Gigantomachia I pulled up just now in a google search. yeah that’s right. Gigantomachia!! you all forgot about him didn’t you!! well guess who didn’t forget about him?? that’s right. so you’d better explain yourself right the fuck now, Fatgum. oh wait I’m still talking in action brackets whoops]

holy crap is Tokoyami giving orders lmao

well look at you. a general, huh? somebody must’ve told them about his little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab

so now some generic villain guys are all “HOW’D THEY FIND OUR SECRET PATH” and “WE MUST DEFEND IT” and I sure can’t wait to watch them get their asses kicked three panels from now

OH LORDY

EVERYONE TAMAKI HAS JUST TURNED INTO A HORSE. I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS, THE MOST PRESSING OF WHICH ARE (1) WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS PANTS, AND (2) DOES THIS MEAN TAMAKI ATE A FUCKING HORSE. PLEASE STAY TUNED AS WE URGENTLY INVESTIGATE THESE NEW DEVELOPMENTS

lol and the cow horns too. why though. just completes the look I guess

loooooool he’s all “apologies, but please remain still” who are you, Tuxedo Mask??

LOOOOOOL

by the way, I almost skipped right past this, but the text says Tamaki will be a sidekick at the Fatgum agency starting “next year”, which presumably means “in a couple of weeks because the school year is about to end.” our boy is graduating! I’m so proud, and also really pissed off about Mirio all of a sudden, just throwing that out there. how much longer must his dreams be put on hold. where is the justice. man I need a minute

okay! anyway so now Tokoyami is just running into the basement alone!! hooooo boy. I know it’s dark down there and that’s presumably why they’re sending him of all people, but still. hooooooooo boy

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NO WAY

IS TOKOYAMI GOING TO TAKE ON FUCKING RE-DESTRO AND IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AND WHY THE FUCK IS NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY PLAYING

KDSFLK;L’LLL

AM I IN THE RIGHT MANGA. DID DARK SHADOW REALLY JUST GROW NINETY FEET TALL AND START WRESTLING THE SAME FUCKING GUY WHO ALMOST* BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF FUCKING VILLAINS

*except he didn’t, let’s be real. didn’t even come close. but still, on paper the hype looks real good!!

AND DO RE-DESTRO’S ROBOT LEGS SOMEHOW FUCKING CHANGE SIZE ALONG WITH HIM. CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP FOR THE MYSTERY BASKET. PUT YOU RIGHT NEXT TO “BUT FOR REAL THOUGH DID TAMAKI ACTUALLY EAT A FUCKING HORSE”

OOOOOF

LOL DETNERAT’S MERCHANDISE REALLY IS TOTAL SHIT. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE CLASH WITH A GIGANTIC SHADOW DEMON

by the way, check out that one guy in the bottom right corner who just totally doesn’t give the least of fucks. he’s fresh out. he wants to know how much longer this is gonna last so he can go home and get back to playing the new Animal Crossing. did you know they added a new crafting feature. can’t believe he’s stuck here at this boring meeting. this man genuinely doesn’t seem to be at all aware of anything that is currently happening around him and it’s amazing. added to the box of questions

oh man. I don’t quite understand what is happening now but I keep expecting Gigantomachia to just pop up out of nowhere any second and I can’t fucking stand it. Horikoshi please stop showing us these close-ups of destroyed walls

OH GOD OH GOD!!!

(ETA: what a casual fucking line implying that Tokoyami genuinely believed that there was nobody in THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF PLIFF who stood a chance against his latest super move. don’t mind him everyone, he’s just been lowkey biding his time to become the strongest member of class 1-A offscreen while his loser classmates were having dramatic family dinners. how many High Ends could Dark Shadow take out I wonder. why did I suddenly get a mental image of Toko losing an arm only to sigh and nonsensically quote Shakespeare or some shit before wrapping Dark Shadow around the stump and getting back to the asskicking.)

NO TOKO NOT THE ANGRY BALD MAN, HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!! OH FUCK OH FUCK

LMAO

:) :) :) can we maybe get my solemn bird son out of this fucking DEATH BASEMENT right the fuck now. can we do that, please

holy shit!?

:) :) :) I can’t decide whether I trust these panels or not. why is he so confident. does this mean Machia really will be sitting out the arc, or is a trap. help

(ETA: I guess it’s okay for now. ... dammit I’m still suspicious sob.)

also, Tokoyami’s “?!” face is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen though. the fact that he’s physically incapable of altering his expressions no matter what is true comedy gold here

NEVER MIND, THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A CALLOW YOUTH WHO KNEW NOTHING OF TRUE COMEDY GOLD

WHAT A FOOL I WAS. PLEASE PARDON MY IGNORANCE. SO HERE WE HAVE TOKOYAMI’S MONOEXPRESSION BIRD HEAD STICKING OUT OF FATGUM’S JOLLY BELLY FOR NO REASON, WHILE FATGUM IS ALL “DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE’RE KICKING TOO MUCH ASS AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”, AND SOME OTHER POOR GUY WITH SCISSORS HANDS IS JUST LYING THERE DEAD IN THE BACKGROUND. MY GOD. I’M IN AWE OF THIS

dfkjkjk oh noooo

“does this young man amuse you,” Horikoshi says as he darkly pencils in the disturbingly concave shadows of Fatgum’s ridiculous fucking quirk. “are his ‘magnificent fellow’ bird antics pleasing for you to watch. I guess it sure would be a shame if I gave him some... angst”

but for real y’all I genuinely can’t take this at all seriously when Tokoyami’s head is still stubbornly and persistently poking its way out of Fatgum like a goddamn baby kangaroo in every fucking panel

we are entering another Tokoyami+Hawks mentor flashback and this is still all I can think about. why is he even in there. why is any of this happening. Tokoyami really just flung Re-Destro into a wall and then climbed inside of Fatgum feet-first so they could run along to freedom. just fucking ensconced himself. do you think it’s cozy in there. do you think Aizawa would fall asleep

hey Toko please stop having ominous thoughts about my other bird son

have you ever heard of an announcer jinx. “now here’s a guy who the fans have loved since the moment he was first introduced. and if you look at the stats, fourth place in his first popularity poll, which was taken only ten chapters after his introduction. heck, he’s so popular they even went and gave him a role in the second movie even before he appeared in the anime! it’s undeniable that this young man has a bright future ahead of him, Al.” now you listen here. I don’t at all like where this is headed and it needs to stop right now

anyway so of course on that note we are cutting back to Hawks

so we’ve confirmed that Hawks has his hands full just melting all of the new clones as they come, and doesn’t have the speed or the excess feathers (or the conviction? :|) to go after the original and put a stop to all this

or you could just ignore everything I say ever because immediately on the next page Horikoshi is all “actually he’s winning lol”

anyway but it sure would be a shame if someone were to run in and set you on fire right about now. that probably sounds sarcastic but it actually would be really bad lol please don’t set Hawks on fire

(ETA: motherfucker. goddamn. fucking --)

and now Hawks is making clones of his fellow League buddies oh shit!! but right when I was about to scroll down I noticed that Hawks is carrying some sort of recording device?? or communications device?? in his hand very conspicuously in that last panel? and so what is going on here, exactly?

oh shit and never mind about those LoV clones

that’s all well and good Hawks, but I need you to please just be very cautious and aware and proactive about not catching on fire okay. watch your six

oh my god oh my god

“now here’s a guy whose rise in popularity was unexpected but just a real pleasure to watch. he just really cares about his friends.” “you said it; he really came into his own a couple arcs back. twenty-third in the most recent poll, and the fans all love him.” fffffff Hawks isn’t a killer Hawks isn’t a killer, I can’t hear you lalala

LA LA LA

maybe... he’ll just... punch a small hole through one of his lungs... ...

...

or... a large hole... ... ,,,

oh THANK GOD he’s jumping on top of him. so clearly he’s fine because Shounen Rules. that’s right, this is a manga where Toga survived blowing up from the inside out and Jeanist survived being murdered and stuffed into a tote bag. (right??) why am I so tense I hate this!!

HEY WHAT IS THIS

or you could just KNOCK HIM OUT??? ?????!??! did they not teach you that in peewee assassin league?! Hawks

I DON’T LIKE THIS I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

STOP SHOWING US TWICE’S SAD THOUGHTS YOU BASTARD NO I DON’T LIKE THIS YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY SO STOP!!

GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I FUCKING HATE YOU

“HERE’S A SERIES OF PANELS WITH TWICE CRYING AND THINKING ABOUT TOGA WHILE HAWKS HOLDS A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT ABOVE HIS EYE,” HORIKOSHI SAYS WHILE IGNORING EVERYTHING I SAY AND DISABLING ALL COMMENTS ON HIS TWITTER, PROBABLY. WOW I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT? DAMN, TWITTER REALLY SUCKS, BUT ANYWAY

FINE THEN DABI YOU CAN SET HIM ON FIRE!!

JOKE’S ON YOU ASSHOLES, YOU CAN’T HURT ME IF I CAN’T SEE THE LAST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER THROUGH ALL MY TEARS

FUCK

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THE FUCK WAS THAT

DON’T YOU EVEN DARE, HORIKOSHI. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION”, COME THE FUCK ON, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DIDN’T MEAN SHIT AND I WAS LIABLE TO CHANGE MY MIND YET AGAIN ONLY A PAGE LATER AS PER USUAL! WHAT SORT OF TWISTED MIND WOULD DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE TWICE WAS TO SET THE ENTIRE ROOM ABLAZE AND THEN HAVE DABI GLEEFULLY STOMP ON HAWKS’S FACE. WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER WOULD DREAM THIS UP. THIS ISN’T HOT AT ALL. HOW DARE YOU

ALSO WTF DABI, “HERE I COME TO RESCUE TWICE” WHILE BURNING HIM ALIVE AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST THESE FUCKING TODOROKIS I SWEAR TO GOD. DID YOUR BRAIN CELLS CATCH FIRE TOO

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED ALL WEEK IN A FUCKING LOCKDOWN FOR THIS SHIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK, AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO THANK ITS STUPID CONDUCTOR, OR PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. it’s not the manga we need, but it’s the one we deserve. I guess

[spikeymarshmallows]

spikey’s dnw’s for tua s3

So I've seen lots of stuff going around. People talking about what they want for S3, or what they don't want.

And honestly, I get major FOMO, and am very much like "HELLO, I AM HERE, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME, I AM BABY WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM". Taking a leaf out of Sarky's post....

What don't I want from S3....

Warning: here there be much more salt than you're probably used to from Spikey. I’m *certain* I’ve got a lot of very unpopular opinions here so uh... sorry???

The Sparrows. Like, I want them to be a part of it. But I don't want them to be Mains. I don't want them to get lots of development at the expense of the Umbrella Harkids. Ben is the exception. I want more of him but I am counting him as an Umbrella Harkid lol. Lila. As with the Sparrows, I'm happy for her to be a part of it. She was interesting. But I cannot emphasise how much I don't want her to be a Main; hell, I don't even mind it if she is... (Okay, that's a lie. I do care). But can Diego have a storyline outside of her, please? My ships aside--I just don't really want romances as driving factors here (with the exception of Alluther, and like, I want them to have storylines outside of their romance too. Argh, hopefully I'm making sense). And I worry they're just gonna erase my boy for the sake of romance... Romances. Look, we know this about me--I am a shipper. When I engage fandom, it's 95% for ships. But when I watch things... It's less for the ships. Give me meaningful moments (like... Klaus tying Diego's boots, and them at the hotel, and the banter etc there. And GOSH, the EYE CONTACT T.T MY HEART). Anyway. The point is: I love moments like those. But I really don't watch this show for the Romance TM. Sometimes I think I'd love to see my ships become canon. But I don't know. I've never really had it happen? I don't know that I'd love it. Anyway. They're never gonna have Kliego making out on this show. That's fine. Give me moments. Give me connections. But please, please let the only overt romance be Alluther. Alluther being tossed out. They're not My Ship but they're a favourite background ship for me. And I like what it stands for. So I really hope they don't go the shitty route and say Allison Rumour'd Luther. And I hope they keep having their beautiful and loving chemistry. I also think they do well at being characters with lives outside of that romance. I don't think the Alluther takes away from them as characters so.... I DON'T want Alluther to be tossed out. Toilet humour and fart jokes. I just don't get it??? Like, I know I don't spend time in lots of TUA circles but I don't think I've ever seen ANYONE ask for the toilet humour?? Like. I don't get it. IN THE BIN. Making the show an outright comedy. Yes, it was fun to watch. But... I think we all fell in love with the quirky, weirdass, gritty show that was S1. I liked the random silly moments in S1, but that it never made me wanna choke on my own sadness. Brushing over the trauma. Again, I think this is something that a lot of us fell in love with the show for. The nuances and differences in trauma. How these kids were raised by the same people, but trauma looks so different in all of them. Can we have some of the anger back? The sadness? The fury and resentment towards Reginald? Having conflicted feelings about Pogo? Heck, having conflicted feelings about Reginald too. Because goodness knows that trauma is funny in that some of us still deeply care about and love our abusers, even though we don't want to, and know we shouldn't. So, I really, really don't want us to keep brushing over the trauma. We don't need to see daily therapy sessions for them, but can we stop acting like it just... didn't happen? Give me more moments like that Horrible Dinner Scene. I know a lot of people hated it, but for me.... it resonated deeply with my own trauma. Give me anger and resentment at each other for wrongs of the past. Give me love underneath it all (between the sibs!! Not Reggie), yes. That's a major thing for me. But don't have "wheeee happy families, no issues between us anymore uwu". Overpowered Babies. I know, I know. We all love it when our faves are powerful and strong. And hell yeah, I get that! Diego being able to manipulate objects in motion like that?? *chefskiss*. Five travelling back my seconds? Amazing! But I would have loved to have seen Vanya in particular struggle to control her powers. She didn't even know she had them!! And has been on mood stabilisers/killers for 20+ years!! And within?? Less than a month?? Without even knowing she HAD powers, she just had this immense control??? God, I just wanna see her and the siblings having to work through their issues so that they can help her learn. I don't want to see Klaus.... IDK what he does in the comics. But I don't want him to be the Savior Of The World. Give them good powers; but make them work for it. So Many Damn Songs. I know a lot of people really love the soundtrack. And maybe it's because I don't know most of them that I was just *shrug emoji* about them. I didn't dislike them. But it just.... I just don't care??? Focus less on that and focus more on, you know, everything else? Another Dance Scene. The first episode? I stopped watching after that dance scene because I had severe second hand embarrassment. And then? Came back to it. And now I'm so endeared by it. But the second season... IDK. It felt forced. I didn't like it. I skip past that part now.

Another apocalypse. You’ve been there, done that! Give us something else, kthx.

The siblings being stupid. I just.... I just don't think they're stupid?? I think they can be idiots, and be dumbasses. But in terms of Knowledge.... I think they all had a pretty comprehensive education. Shakespeare. Seven languages. Homer. Dancing lessons. Lessons pertaining to music. I really hate how they made Diego and Luther out to be stupid. Luther went to the goddamn moon! He just doesn't have street smarts, etc. Diego might have yeeted himself through a window, but he's not entirely an idiot. He shows off. He does dumb things; that doesn't make HIM dumb.

Oh, the twins thing. Like. Nah. Whatever man.

Dave. God. That's how little I give a shit about Dave... I entirely forgot to put him on the list until now... I don't hate Dave. I just... I just do not care one bit. It was okay in S2. But like. Can we have Klaus processing his death, and just... give him something not-Dave-centric? I don't think we ever "move on" from the loss of loved ones. But same as Lila: I don't want it to be a major part of his storyline. I like to think we saw Klaus "letting go" at the end of S2. Let's keep it there?

*

Fucking hell.... I sound like Nothing Makes Me Happy. But that's not true. I just.... need to be less grumpy for me to write that list. Anyway. This has been a salty-ass-bitch-post, courtesy of Spikey. 

[connan-l]

Flower Person

Fandom: The House in Fata Morgana

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationship: Maria Campanella/Iméon

Summary: Iméon wasn’t the kind of person to care about flowers and she never liked receiving these as gifts, but could she really refuses it when a pretty blond woman she doesn’t know show up on her doorstep with a bouquet of lilies? [Femslash February 2021 Day 24: Lily]

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Link on Archive of Our Own

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Notes: So, I admit I actually tend to headcanon Iméon as being nonbinary/trans masc, which wouldn’t really fit a femslash event, but well as far we know in FataMoru canon she still identifies as a woman. Another headcanon of mine is that Iméon does remember her past life even after being reincarnated (which is what happens in the short story ‘Tír na nÓg’), and I wrote the fic with that in mind. Also I know Iméon likely just goes by ‘Noémi’ in the modern era, but… weh, I’m too used to refer to her as ‘Iméon’ lol.

This takes place after Reincarnation so spoilers for all the games, and there are also brief references to the short story ‘Girl Hunt Girl.’ (If you don’t know about it, it’s just a very short post-Reincarnation story where Iméon meets Ceren in Paris by saving her from a conman.) And warning for slight drinking/alcohol, I guess.

______________________________________________________________

Iméon had never been a flower person.

It wasn’t like she hated them or anything, but she couldn’t really unsderstand what people found so captivating or pretty about these plants. They smelled nice, sometimes, she supposed — but that was the extent of the qualities she’d gave them.

She had told as much to Michel once when they stopped by a flower shop so he could buy a few roses for his wife — the fact this guy ended up getting married was still mind-boggling to her even months after she’d learned that fact — and he laughed, saying he used to think the same ‘back then’ but that now he couldn’t help but love them. He hadn’t explained to her how this change of heart happened, but Iméon could guess pretty easily it was also a courtesy of Giselle.

In any case, that was also why people never offered her flowers as gifts, either — the only time she could remember this happened was when she was maybe eight or so and her grandma had given her a bouquet of hydrangeas. Iméon had never been able to tell the absentminded sweet old lady that she couldn’t care less about those flecks of blue-purplish petals and she’d unfortunately had to keep them in her room against her will until they withered.

Tonight, however, would mark the second time of flower-offering she’d received in her life, because the first thing she saw upon opening the door after it rang twice was a huge bouquet of lilies, followed by a turf of messy, short blond hair and a pair of clear green eyes that popped out just barely above the white bell-shaped plants.

“So, okay, here’s the thing,” her visitor started, trying to speak clearly in spite of the enormous gift in her arms that was camouflaging almost all of her upper body. “That’s kind of a long story, but bear with me. There’s this dude where I work — a client — who sort of got a crush on me. Not, like, the creepy kind, but still pretty annoying. He hit on me a few times, and despite me trying to fucking tell him subtly, ‘Hey, dude, not interested, let it go,’ he brought me this tonight upon seeing me. I thought at first about throwing it away in the trash cause flowers are not my thing, you see? But then my boss — I mean Giselle, you know her too, right? — threw a damn fit, ‘bout how it wasn’t nice for him and those were such beautiful flowers or something, so I was like ‘then take them cause I don’t want this’ but she refused cause Michel is allergic to lilies or something and — who the fuck even is allergenic to goddamn lilies? Anyway, after that I—”

Iméon blinked incredulously, trying to makes sense of why there was a short irritated blond woman with a thick Italian accent she didn’t know in front of her who kept rambling on and on at her at eight in the evening. She seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t recall why — where had she seen her before?

“—asked my stupid childhood friend cause of course she’s the kind of gal who’s into flowers and stuff, except I forgot she was in Amsterdam to introduce her creepy boyfriend to her parents, but as a result the only person left was fucking Jacopo and I sure as hell wasn’t going to show up to this dumbass’ door to give him some lilies — and then it hit me; ‘Oh, there’s this chick who’s friends with Michel and Ceren and doesn’t live far away, so why not check her out!’ And so here I am.” She finally stopped and breathed in deeply. “So. Yeah. Want some lilies?”

The names of Michel and Ceren awakened Iméon’s memories and she realized it was, indeed, because of these two that this woman was familiar to her. More than a year ago, she had met Ceren by coincidence and helped her out of some trouble and since then they’d become good friends, and she managed to meet Michel again a few months later. Seeing her old friend from a past life neither of them should remember had been quite a shock — though a pleasant one — but discovering that somehow he’d gotten married to a bubbly lady and now lived in the same building as the goddamn little witch who’d messed around with them had been quite confusing. And to top it off, apparently Michel also knew Ceren because she herself was friends with said little witch. Fate really was a funny thing.

In any case, about three weeks ago she’d briefly gotten introduced to this woman by Giselle, but it had been a five minutes meeting so the encounter had quickly left her mind. If she recalled her name was… Martha? Marianne…? Mar—

“Oh, Maria,” she suddenly said out loud, snapping her fingers, and the woman frowned at her.

“What?”

“Your name. It’s Maria. Right?”

“Wait, you only now remembered who I was?”

“Yep.”

“Maria is like, the less forgettable name in the world? How did you do to forget that?”

“Sorry. I’m just not good with names. And faces. And people.”

A big silence propagated between the two of them, and then Iméon cleared her throat.

“You know… if you wanted to ask me out on a date, you could’ve just… said that. Or ask Michel my number or something.”

Maria arched an eyebrow at her, looking genuinely surprised. “What? Wait, no, that wasn’t… it’s not what it’s about.”

“No?”

“If I wanted to ask you out, I’d just do that. I’m not the kind of person to make excuse or beat around the bush.”

Iméon literally knew nothing about this woman, but somehow she could believe that.

“Oh. Okay. So it’s… really just about the lilies.”

“Yeah.” Maria marked a pause. “It did sounds less weird in my head when I thought about coming here. But I’m just, uh… a bit desperate to get rid of these.”

Iméon hummed thoughtfully and crossed her arms. Desperate was indeed quite an apt descriptor — her hair was all disheveled, her clothes unkempt and she appeared out of breath, as if she had run left and right for a long time to try to get someone who’d agree to take in the huge bouquet.

Iméon wasn’t a flower person, but… she didn’t mind accepting a few lilies for this one time.

“All right. I’ll take it,” she conceded, and Maria seemed so relieved to hear that it was almost comical.

Iméon gathered the flowers into her arms, the soft perfume tickling her nostrils and the petals brushing her cheeks, and then she turned around towards Maria once again. She was clearly about to leave and go down the stairs, but somehow Iméon felt a tinge of pity for her to have to yet again hurry to go home, so she grasped her wrist.

“Hey, no need to rush out of here. I was just about to eat something, so… Wanna have dinner with me?”

“What? Really?”

Iméon flashed her a smile. “Sure. I mean, you’re a friend of Michel, so I’d feel bad to just let you go home like that.”

Maria stared at her in silence for a while, as if hesitating, then returned her smile. “Oh well. Not like I had anything else to do anyway.”

And so the both of them stepped into the small two-room apartment together — the inside was a mess, to be honest, with various clothes and papers laying around, but Iméon didn’t care in the least and neither did Maria apparently as she threw herself on the couch without eve asking. Iméon somehow managed to install the lilies in an empty jar on the table, then tranquilly started to prepare their meal. The dinner only consisted of a quick reheat from yesterday’s leftovers and Iméon had always been far from being a super good cook, but it didn’t matter much as the room quickly got filled with cheerful chats and laughters. They talked about their common friends and then their jobs and movies and Maria’s home country, and while Iméon wouldn’t reveal too much about herself and was careful to keep her walls up even once they added a few beers in the mix, she had to admit she felt quite comfortable with this woman whom she couldn’t even remember the name a few hours prior.

Maria was a fun and easygoing person to talk to and despite her crude words and rough attitude she had a smile as bright as the sun, and it just felt nice to be around her.

“So you’ve only moved in here recently?” Maria asked.

“I don’t like to stay in a same place for too long. That’s just not in my blood. I travel a lot too, went to a bunch of different countries…”

“Hmm. I get that. I traveled around quite a bit too before coming to Paris.” She sighed, then stared vacantly at her beer. “I wonder if I should try going moving somewhere else again. I mean, I like it here, but…”

Maria fell silent, suddenly looking surprisingly melancholic. But in a way, Iméon felt she could understand that. She herself had spent most of her life jumping from a place to another ever since her parents kicked her out of the family house, and she liked living that way, but occasionally she wondered if it wouldn’t be best to find somewhere to truly settle in and call home. Maybe she envied Michel’s stable life a little bit for having this, or Ceren’s airheadness for never even questioning what the future might held in for her.

In that sense, she got the feeling Maria was more similar to her because of that. Weird, given she’d basically been a stranger to her only a few hours ago.

As Iméon was still lost in her thought, Maria abruptly rose up from her chair, almost knocking over the lilies from the table. “Oh, wow, fuck! I didn’t realize it had so damn gotten so late! I should go now.”

Iméon looked at the clock, and it was indeed already past three AM. She also had not noticed the time flee at all.

“You sure you don’t want to spend the night here?” Iméon asked while Maria hurriedly put on her coat. “I mean, we did drink quite a bit, and there’s no metro at this time…”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll call a taxi or something. Ugh, and tomorrow I have to work… I’m going to be a fucking mess and Giselle’s gonna have my head.”

“Giselle?” Iméon repeated, because she didn’t know Michel’s wife all that well but somehow she couldn’t picture her as the kind of employer who’d got angry at anyone.

“Yeah, she seems all cute and sweet like that, but she’s actually fucking scary and ultra perfectionist at work. Don’t let her fool you.”

“Huh… I’ll remember that.”

Maria grabbed her last beer and gobbled up all that was left of it in one shot, before quickly heading towards the door. She stopped her pace on the doorstep, however, and turned around towards Iméon.

“Thanks for tonight,” she said, smirking. “It was fun. Let’s do this again.”

“Sure. No problem.”

Maria stared at her, seemed to hesitate, then finally leaned forward and kissed her. It was a pretty brief kiss, lips only brushing against each other, but Iméon still hadn’t really expected it and she blinked back at her when she pulled back.

“I thought the bouquet wasn’t an excuse?”

“It wasn’t,” Maria argued. “That was just as thanks for the meal. Now, I really have to go, so see ya!”

She waved at her with a smug smirk, as if she was quite proud of herself for what she had just done, and then disappeared in the stairs. Iméon still felt pretty confused, but she was much too tired to try to think more about it.

So she got back inside her place, locked the door, and found herself face to face alone with the big bouquet of lilies.

For a brief second, she felt kind of bad for the guy who’d bought it for Maria in the first place, and it was kind of annoying she’d have to keep that bouquet until it wither away like her grandmother’s hydrangeas, but…

If it meant she’d get to have a fun evening dinner and a kiss from a hot Italian woman, maybe it had been worth it.

[discotreque]

Disco 3.04: Forget Me Not

The way Doug Jones delivered “Previously, on Star Trek: Discovery” this week—audibly out of makeup, almost entirely out of character, and over the super-intense footage from 3.02 of Disco plummeting helplessly to a shattered ruin of a planet—in such a brisk, cheerful little chirp had me laughing so hard I was wheezing. I could see his little mannerisms and everything 😂

I slept like a brick last night, so I’m a little too disoriented for much of a preamble. Let’s get right into it. Spoilers ahoy:

REPAIR ROBOTS!!!

Prop watch: the “salt-shaker” medical scanner Culber uses during his opening voiceover is by far the most elaborate we’ve ever seen on Star Trek. Try to fit that into the top of your tricorder. (I guess it’s connected to an iPad now...)

Adira has amnesia too? Literally a mystery wrapped in a mystery, lol.

Stop calling it a squid! It’s an ankylosaur! (ˈaŋkɪləsɔː)

Michael asks Adira on the bridge if the planet Trill looks familiar. Not to be a planet-racist, but don’t all Class M planets kind of look alike from orbit? I’m not sure I could reliably recognize that much of Earth, especially under so much beautifully rendered CGI cloud cover.

I’m going to be praising Doug Jones a lot this season—he’s not just playing Saru as captain, he’s playing Captain Saru in an interesting and distinctive way. He’s not the babysitting big brother anymore—now he’s their dad, and he’s still visibly getting used to the role. It’s played so sweet and subtle and I’m really loving it, and the way the show as a whole is leaning into the “family” vibe this season.

The holographic version of a red-yarn-string conspiracy board that Michael is using when she talks to Culber is one of those acceptable sci-fi breaks from reality for me. It looks super cool and futuristic, but imagine actually working like that for a few hours. Your arms would get exhausted. My neck hurts just watching her crane around. And the eyestrain of focusing on glowing shit, in mid-air, at various distances, with no backdrop whatsoever? Fuck off completely with that. But it’s simple and tactile, so the audience immediately understands the general idea of what she’s doing, and it’s literally see-through, so we can simultaneously know how she feels about it. And if you’re not a total weirdo like me, you won’t be thinking about any of this, except maybe “oh, neat!” when Culber first walks in—it just helps establish Michael’s state of mind at the beginning of the scene.

OKAY SO TWO EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT MICHAEL’S QUARTERS. First, she decorated!!! 😭😭😭 Last season they made a point of (repeatedly!) contrasting her uhhhh “minimalist” living space with Tilly’s more personalized and homey side of the room, and now they explicitly note that Michael either brought her 32nd-century knick-knacks over from Book’s ship or replicated a bunch of new ones for Disco, and frankly either scenario makes my heart want to scream into a pillow.

THE SECOND THING IS THAT SHE’S STILL LIVING WITH TILLY??? ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME WITH THIS SAPPHIC SHIT. I WAS READY TO BID MY SAD FAREWELLS TO MYLVIA AND HOP ON THE BURNBOOK TRAIN AND YOU DO T H I S??? YOU’RE PLAYING WITH MY HEART, MICHELLE.

I thought it was unfair that people were criticizing the last episode for not like, fully developing every single one of the plot points it was obviously setting up to play out over the rest of the season—but fair or not, I was genuinely surprised when they came back to Michael’s insecurities around leadership, so I guess this show is still working on winning me over too.

“Post-traumatic growth... can inspire us to evolve, to live our lives in a different way.” Well, fuck 😭😭😭😭😭

This is going to sound like either rank sarcasm or damnation by the faintest of praise, but it’s actually a genuine and heartfelt compliment: I did not expect this show to ever even approach the emotional depths of the recent She-Ra reboot on Netflix, let alone include a conversation that directly evoked one of the most powerful moments of that entire series for me. “You know what I love about you most? You’re a responsibility hoarder” has the exact same energy as “You’re worth more than what you can give to other people,” and it sucker-punched me right in the goddamned heart. Let 2020 be the year all our overly self-sacrificing heroines learn to let themselves accept the same love and support they give so freely.

AND THEN SHE JUST LAUNCHES INTO BIG-SISTER MODE WITH ADIRA??? Put me in a photon torpedo and shoot me into space while Scotty plays Amazing Grace on the bagpipes because I am D-E-A-D dead. (Also any time SMG lets her accent out a little bit I just fucking swoon, and apparently that accent is an integral component of her big-sis persona, so 😍😍😍😍😍)

I have been waiting my entire life for a Star Trek character who stuns first and asks questions later.

No. No WAY. THIS is how the Disco computer becomes Zora??? Basically the same way Data created Moriarty, except with a boost from the sphere data, and driven by Saru wanting to heal the crew’s emotional trauma? Holy SHIT.

I’m not sure I realized how many gaps existed in Trill lore until now. We knew a lot about Dax’s specific experiences, but I never had a good sense for how “typical” Dax actually was, and I feel like I learned more about Trill in general in this episode than I did over seven seasons of DS9, which is cool.

Listen, Saru, if you want to have family dinners with the crew, sometimes they’re going to turn out like family dinners.

The closed captions when Michael was arriving in the Trill dreamscape or whatever said (ambient warbling), which is also one of my favourite genres of music.

“I know you’re afraid, but you have to let them connect with you.” OKAY, STOP, JUST STOP.

I guess it wouldn’t be Discovery if every other character didn’t have a grotesquely tragic backstory, but Adira and Gray’s managed to cram about half a dozen of my favourite romantic tropes into a few fleeting moments of screen time before crashing into my heart—much like an asteroid crashing into the side of a generation ship that really should have solved the “random asteroid collision” problem at, like, the blueprints stage—so this one hurt even more than usual.

(Looking forward to blocking all the cis people with ~scorching hot takes~ about Adira and Gray this week. If you’re not trans, then your feelings and opinions about this are literally meaningless to me.)

One of Tal’s previous hosts is seen in a circa-2399 Starfleet uniform, which unfortunately doesn’t fit him any better than it fit anyone on Picard. We also get a (presumably fairly contemporary) admiral’s uniform on Senna, but there’s a lady on the far left with a different style of uniform but the same “post-canon” oval-backed delta concept for the combadge, and I wanted to see more of that one.

AWWWWW, STAMETS ACTUALLY DID STOP BEING A JERK, GOOD FOR HIM <3 (And if I’ve learned anything from science fiction, it’s that dark matter can do literally whatever the writers want, so this seems like a promising road of inquiry!)

Is Gray going to live in Adira’s head like a non-toxic version of Six and Baltar on Battlestar Galactica? Because I am into it.

...and that’s four in a row that ended with a goddamned tsunami of feelings. It’s still finding its feet, but this new version of the show—this slower, softer, sweeter version of Discovery, and the things it’s even attempting—you could say it gives me hope.

Next week: we finally get to see Starfleet in the 32nd century, who are as friendly as everyone else has been so far, and I’m going to have to figure out who’s playing the admiral who talks to Michael in the trailer, because he’s such a “Hey, It’s That Guy!” I got whiplash.

[pies-writes-and-more]

PIES’ FIC RECOMMENDATIONS FOR MAY 2020

So I’ve never done one of these fic recommendations lists before but I really want to share some of the amazing work that I’ve read this past month! I’ve definitely read a whole ton more but I was dumb and didn’t think to like draft this list and then just keep adding to it... so I’m just attempting to go through my tags LOL please be patient with my dumbass. 

NOTE: Since I only started doing this recently, a lot of my recommendations are gonna come from a lot of my mutuals but I’m always open to hearing more about other fics!!! If you’ve got an incredible fic that you are super proud of or if you think that I should read something you’ve read, PLEASE SEND IT TO ME! I’m really big on StevexFem!Reader, BuckyxFem!Reader, WandaxFem!Reader, CarolxFem!Reader, and Stucky fics!!!

If you do end up reading these fics, please tag me if you reblog them or comment on them!! I’d love to see your guys’ reactions :) 

ANYWAYS THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE HAVE CRUSHED MY HEART WITH AMAZING FICS, RUINED MY IDEALS OF WHAT LOVE IS, AND/OR BROKEN MY HEART WITH ANGST ONLY TO REVIVE IT WITH SOME FLUFF. I love you all so very much.

PS. if these links dont work for some reason, please let me know so I can update this list because I was very distracted halfway through making this so it might not be perfect!

1.Walpurgis Night by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “In which Steven volunteers to find a long-lost princess of Starkerbürg. (Fairy Tale AU)” I have no clue why this fic is not given more goddamn attention because holy shit yall, I have never been so grasped by a fic before. If you love medieval/fairy tale type things, you will love this fic. And if you don’t, you’re gonna love it anyways because @anika-ann​ writes SO. FUCKING. WELL. 100% fluff and love.

2. Abs Aren’t Always the Answer by @its-not-captain-america​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve asks Y/N what girls are interested in, trying to impress her. Several shirtless pics later it’s not working.” Y’all want hilarious shit??? What about Steve Rogers always trying to take his fucking shirt off because he has the DNA (and the body) of a stripper? JK that’s not the actual reason but this fic is so funny, I died reading the first 700 times (and the 701st time too... and every time after that). 100% hilarious.

3. Challenge Accepted...? by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader ”Steve’s never been good at quick decision-making when it came to his own safety. After one particularly horrible experience, you find a way to remind him every day to think twice the next time he’s faced with a tough choice. He is not amused.” Steven Grant Rogers you stupid dumb hoe lol. That’s all I’mma say about this fic because it speaks for itself when you read it haha. Banter is iconic in this fic. 100% hilarious.

4. A Matter of Trust by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You and Steve get to go to a mission together after a while; free drinks, partying, dressing-up nicely, stealing blueprints, the usual. You might even enjoy this as a couple.“ This time it’s Y/N that’s kindof a stupid dumb hoe but like that’s okay because when Y/N is a stupid dumb hoe, it’s not as stupid or dumb as when Steve does it. There’s a bit of a carry on between Challenge Accepted...? and this fic! So I would suggest reading that one first and then this :) 100% hilarious.

5. For a Smile by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You see him run past every morning. So you smile, because he looks like a nice person. How could he not be when he smiles back and the world stops for a while to pay respect to such beauty?” So you know how Disney movies totally screwed over some of our perspectives of how guys were gonna come and sweep us off our feet? Yeah. This fic did it too. I’m still waiting for my fairytale fucking moment like this fic but if it never happens, I’ll settle for just reading this over and over again LOL. 100% F L U F F and LOVE.

6. Grease and Pearls by @anika-ann​​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “All you know is uptown; fancy clothes, expensive cars, jewellery outshining one’s personality and exhausting dinners with family acquaintances and business partners. Your life is all planned out; one day, you’ll marry Howard Stark’s son and you’ll be the golden couple adored by press.” This 3-part series slayed me. Like honestly, I’ve never been so torn apart before. Y’all lucky that if you read it, you get to read all 3 parts right away whereas I had to sit and wait for my heart to be torn apart and then stomped on. (Jk anika i love you you know that). Super amazing thing I love about this fic: it’s got links to the dresses that Y/N wears (super cute btw) AND it’s got two different endings so you can decide!!! 100% ANGST and 100% FLUFF? At the same time??? Because of the two endings?!?!?!? NOTE: part 2 got some steamy smut in there so 18+ readers only. I had to take a cold shower after reading it like goddamn.

7. Be Alright by @kayteewritessteve​ ​| Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve goes through a bad breakup, but a sweet voice and a friendly smile helps him realize he can begin again, and that he definitely should.” God this fic. I can’t with this fic. It’s based on the Dean Lewis song Be Alright, which is already one of my favourites, but this fic, ugh, Kaytee knows how to hurt you that’s for sure. It’s so pure and so wonderful. 100% SAD but like it gets better promise.

8. Cold Feet by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

“After two months of dating, you’ve come to a conclusion as exciting as well as a bit irritating: Steve Rogers is a perfect man. He simply has no flaw.Or does he?” Mother. Fucking. Adorable. I dunno if there’s anything else to say except that anika really knows how to make me wish I was Y/N adsoifhosd. 100% F L U F F

9. Hot Chocolate by @vodkaxtonic​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve gets sick and Y/N takes care of him, which involves a lot of Steve’s whining, hot chocolate and cuddles.“ Steve Rogers is a little shit who won’t just accept that he’s sick and needs to be taken care of BUT IT’S SO CUTE AND THIS FIC IS THE BEST!!!! 100% FLUFF!!

10. Home by @evanstush​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “It’s been 2 years since the last battle and it’s now Morgan’s 7th birthday, and well, Tony being Tony, he prepared a small party for her little girl, inviting everyone from the team, including you.” Hnnnggg this fic. Okay so. I love @evanstush​ with all my fucking heart because she’s always been so supportive of me and my fics. That being said I WAS NOT EXPECTING HER KIND ASS TO HURT MY HEART LIKE THIS. But again, it’s okay because it’s got fluff guys. 50% ANGST and 50% FLUFF. Well like it’s 100% both but like I have to split it haha.

11. Cocktails by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “ ~i really don’t know what to write i’m sorry~ DRINKS!” That’s okay, darling, I’ll write the summary you. HILARITY. WONDERFULNESS. THE WORD BLOWJOB WRITTEN SO MANY TIMES AND IT’S FUCKING GOLD. This is so funny i love it haha. This fic killed me. I should’ve seen it coming (hehe) but i didn’t lol. 100% HILARIOUS.

12. Unadulterated by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader No summary for this one but again, I shall do the honours haha. It’s part 2 of ‘Cocktails’ and this one is just as adorable and hilarious as the first part! Steve is a cheeky little soft boi and the flirting just makes me feel all sorts of ways <3 100% ADORABLE.

13. Water Wars by @writeyourmindaway | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader “The team finds a new way to unwind” I love fics where you just see the team get to be normal people!!! Plus haven’t we all thought about how the Avengers would are in a water fight? Is that just me? Don’t have to fantasize about it now because @writeyourmindaway wrote it for you :D 100% FLUFF.

14. Slow Like Honey by @heli0s-writes | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “The gossip that buzzes around in the teacher’s lounge is that sweet, sensitive, divorcé Steve Rogers is hot-for-teacher. His daughter’s first-grade teacher, to be exact.” I binged this whole fucking series. 8 parts of PURE. EVERYTHING. I have never so badly wanted a happy ending in my fucking life. This is an amazing series with so much love put into it, you can tell. I really can’t explain this fic because you really need to just go read it to know how amazing it is. NOTE: Part 4, 5, and 8 have some serious love smut in there so 18+ readers only please. UGH. I love this fic so much. I will continue to keep daydreaming about it and thinking about it all the time. God I love me some Dad!Steve. 50% FLUFF and 50% ANGST (which seriously tore my heart out like I cried).

15. You Make My World Spin by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “After the Battle of New York and all the mess Tony gets involved in later, Pepper believes he is in a need of an assistant slash tech genius. Enter you. While Tony is not amused by Pepper’s idea at first… he soon warms up to you.” So many insanely wonderful references in this fic, it’s hilarious. Also, Tony being a little shit LOL. Such a hilarious fic!!!! 100% AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS.

16. If You Stumble... by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “If you stumble…make it part of the dance. In which you ask Steve what your date would look like if you lived the forties. He decides to show you instead. There are few flaws, holes to see through to glimpse beyond that illusion. But what life would be besides boring if everything was perfect? Perfect dress. Perfect date. Perfect gentleman…?” So my dumbass was so excited to read something that anika put out that I didn’t realize this was part 2 of a 3 part series lol I’m dumb yes I know. Anyways, this is part 1 so please don’t be like me and read the first part LOL. ANYWAYS, this was so fucking wholesome. This is definitely one that I need to read again and fully read in order (she’s got part 3 on her AO3, I believe) but ugh. I love the idea of Steve dating in this century, comparing things to how things were done in the old days ufglasodfhsd. I love it. Amazing. 100% FLUFF (I think because well my dumbass hasn’t finished but this part was fluffy :3)

17. @wxstedhexrt‘s poems | Read Them Here! | Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes I don’t think Destiny ever gave me a summary of these but (and Destiny, please correct me if I’m wrong in how you want these to be portrayed!) I believe they’re poems written throughout the whole Steve and Bucky timeline. She’s used the Winter Soldier’s words and turned them into a gorgeous set of poems. 100% My favourite thing in the whole fucking world. 

18. The Lonely Tree by @sarahwroteathing​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You have a favorite tree which you make sure to pass every day on your way to class, but one day you find you’ll have to get used to sharing it with a friendly art student.” Holy shit guys this 15 part series was so amazing. It’s 100% PURE FLUFF and PINING and gorgeous. Holy shit. Like I screamed reading the whole goddamn thing. Amazing writing by an amazing human being with some awesome humour haha.

19. @sinner-as-saint​ responding to an anon request? Amazing. | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader Request: May I just spice up your day with the thought of best friend/roommate bucky being jealous when you bring someone home HOT. AS. FUCK. Holy shit. It’s such a short little list of things that Bucky would do but ugh. I was dying reading it. I love me some jealous Bucky smut. 100% angsty fluff? With smuttiness ;) 18+ readers please!!

20. @alloftheimaginesblog​ prompted fic | Steve Rogers x Reader (I could be wrong here but I believe the gender of the reader is never specified? But the ring is a woman’s ring so?? @alloftheimaginesblog​ pls correct me if you want!) Prompt: Finding an engagement ring in one of their drawers. So fucking fluffy I needed a cavity filled after ugh. I loved it so much it was just a gorgeous piece of writing. Steve is a little piece of poop for not hiding that ring better I mean come on, you’re telling me you couldn’t have punched a hole, put the ring there, and then cover it up with like a cabinet or something??? jk i still love you steeb. 100% fluff!

21. Laser Tag by @stargazingfangirl18​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You play laser tag with your boyfriend Steve and his best friend Bucky. Since you’re just a plain ole civilian, you gotta use what non-Avenger skills you have to avoid losing. Hint: those skills involve Steve and kissing.” Iconic. Everything. Wonderful. There is nothing I love more than Steve Rogers being a little sucker for making out with his girlfriend even when there’s a competition. 100% fluff!!!!

22. Under the Rainbow, Draga mea by @binkysteebnpewter​ | Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader I don’t think there’s an official summary ( @binkysteebnpewter​ pls correct me if I’m wrong) but my summary is this: GAYNESS <3 I love me some wlw content so when I saw this pop up on my dash, I couldn’t NOT read. It’s soooo good. This is a Social Media AU and the amount of meme usage in there I- it’s fucking wonderful. It’s still in progress though so you guys will have to pine after this relationship with me. I FUCKING LOVE IT. 100% GAY LOVE <3

23. A Fic in which Peggy Carter plays wingwoman because these two idiots are in love with each other but they can’t see it so our Queen needs to throw it at them by @1she1hulk1​ (please note I made this title by myself because I don’t think there was a title LOL @1she1hulk1​ lmk if you want me to change this xD) | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “the plot is bacially you and Steve go to see Peggy and she tells Steve to finally make his move” Peggy Carter is a fucking Queen and she knows that Steve is falling for you, because he just won’t stop fucking talking about you LOL. Anyways, this is a super cute fic!!!! Please go give it some love because this human being who wrote it doesn’t think she’s a good writer?????? Crazy. 100% FLUFF!!!!

OTHER FICS THAT DESERVE MENTIONING!!!!

So because this is my first recommendation list on this site, I know I’m definitely missing some amazing fics that I’ve read but never saved (I’m a terrible person I know). So I’m just gonna add them in this list here because they deserve love and attention too!

@wxstedhexrt​‘s poetry. Period. End of story lol. JK. So the ones that I’ve read that are on Destiny’s tumblr aren’t all fandom related (besides the one that I posted above) but they’re still really amazing. I’ve never felt so captured by poems before (mostly because i’m stupid and don’t understand a lot of poetry). Ugh anyways I love her poems so much so please go check them out! CLICK HERE FOR BEAUTY <3

Alright so I know a lot of you guys know @kayteewritessteve​ but if you don’t, she’s this super amazing writer with INCREDIBLE series. (CLICK HERE TO SEE HER FULL MASTERLIST). But one of my most favourite series by her, and one of my favourite series of all time, is: If Only You Knew “You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him and everything else that happened on that horrible night.”  This 18 (plus an Epilogue) part series will literally have you screaming at your screen being like WHY YALL CANT JUST TELL EACH OTHER HOW YALL FEEL?!?!?!?! 75% angst (because Kaytee likes to hurt us) and 25% fluff BUT the fluff is SOOOOO worth it so it’s like 100% angst and 200% fluff (i was never a mathlete). NOW since, we’re on the topic of Kaytee’s writing, I’d also like to mention: Love and War  “In a harsh medieval world, you set out on a perilous quest that will lead you onto a forbidden land. A land ruled and controlled by a ruthless Warlord King, one who does not look favourably upon trespassers of any kind, and punishes all with an iron fist. You may not know exactly where this quest will end, but what you do know is you will forever be altered by it. And that knowledge alone is what truly terrifies you the most.” so I read this while Kaytee was writing it about a year ago and holllyyyyyy shit. Okay. So. Listen. Fantasy? Check. Romance? Check. Amazing writing? Well it’s Kaytee so yea obviously check. I want to list more things but I don’t want to give it away! This is a 15 part series (plus an Epilogue and Outro) but it goes by so quickly once you’re stuck and waiting for more!!!! 

[vitosscaletta]

All of them for juliasam. now. sorry to anyone else who sent any this is my city now

(thank you 😌 also @jmcolt asked 1-8 too, thank u ❤💕)

Who is the most affectionate?

JULIA DUUHHHHH... it’s the repression 😔 he squeezed her hand when he was fucked up from blood loss once though. love. 

Big spoon/Little spoon?

They don’t spoon.. they're the same size it just ends up being weird 😔 

Most common argument?

It’s not really one specific topic, like I said before she doesn’t really agree with most of the crime stuff around 1938 anymore but lets most of it slide.. 

Favorite non-sexual activity?

ahem 😌 i think i already said this on another post but she likes to take walks by the docks on central island (other places too that’s just where she goes because her workplace is there) and drags him along lol.  Also they sit in a corner booth at Salieri’s like freaks and talk shit about the other guests/some guy in the gang they don’t like 😒

Who is most likely to carry the other?

hmm neither lol, Julia would try it for fun but she’s not strong enough :(

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

Ew corny 🤢🤢🤢 but for her... he rarely smiles but the maybe 3 times he does.. she likes that she thinks he looks cute 😌 (that one screenshot from the race where he looks normal. i know i said i hate it but I really don’t, I actually like that pic. he has dimples :/) For him uuhh her fucked up small nose.. the way it looks when she laughs. he’d never say that but yk 

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

mmmjdsjhdfjhdfjdfjjhdfjhdfj sam is fucked up so he avoids her.. he’s obviously not emotionless but rather. emotionally stunted. Doesn’t talk to anyone about himself, not even his closest friends and instead uses random prostitutes as therapists while mistaking physical intimacy for an emotional connection with that one girl even though she was just doing her job.. Meanwhile Julia has been in the “friend you don’t really open up to” category up until that point and the fact that these feelings come from actual friendship with an actual connection of sorts rather than aforementioned physical intimacy (which was already bad enough last time & didn’t end well you know 🤷‍♀️)... BAD... Which leads to the whole “just don’t think about it” mentality clicking because it’s easier than just facing it I suppose.

Julia on the other hand had a dumb little crush early on that she never really acted on - she’s not emotionally repressed, she just cares too much about what other people think about her.. she’s not trying to be liked, just to be taken seriously so talking about your feelings to some mafia guy out of the blue is probably not the best idea 😔 She just kind of ignores it/complains to her friends... after the hand holding thing even more so because she’s pissed he’s acting weird. she kind of knows he’s a fucked up repressed guy but she’s not gonna chase after him or anything.. make an effort 🔫

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

She calls him “chief” lol. Just for fun.. the more affectionate thing is “Sammy” though which is cringe but whatever.. uhh he doesn’t strike me as a nickname person though, he just calls her Julia. Maybe some corny shit in italian if he’s feeling it

Who worries the most?

Julia 😔 mafia boyfriend thingz, meanwhile her job is just to write things for the newspaper so she’s not actively in danger. 

Who tops?

ewww don’t force me to talk about s*x on tumblr. She does. 

Who initiates kisses?

In public... mostly Julia 🙄 which isn’t much she’ll just give him a kiss on the cheek sometimes. At home/private it’s. both :)

Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Ahem.. She does 😌 see this.

Who wakes up first?

Uhh it depends. They both have to get up early as fuck but sometimes he’ll get a call from the don at some fucked up early hour. Which wakes her up too but she can go back to sleep ig

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

This ties into the previous question but IF it happens.. she :)

Who says I love you first?

She does. she has to do everything I guess 😒

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

godd neither that’s cringe. Also they probably just eat out all the time 

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Julia. Sam doesn’t say anything probably, when someone asks he’s like. mind your own business 😒

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

omg they mostly have the same friends. I don’t think anyone really gives a shit, they have mafia things to do. Olive knows about it of course and thinks it’s uhhhh questionable... Sam is kinda fucked up but once it works out she’s cool with it 😌

As for family (that’s not “the family”).. Sam doesn’t have any. He does but they live somewhere else and do.. idk something. being catholic. they don’t know what he’s up to. Julia’s dad already knew him obviously (sitting at some cringe family dinner & one of your daughters brings some guy who bled out on your couch a year ago ❤), she could have done better but there are worse guys out there, he’s okay with it. Her sisters are just like. ew we hate this man.

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Technically Julia but she’s too lazy/”””busy””” to cook so they just eat at salieri’s every goddamn day

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Neither 🙄

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

UHHH maybe he does. sometimes. 

Who needs more assurance?

Sam but not in a “actively craves it” way, more in a.. doesn’t need it but then gets it once & says it’s dumb but has to think about it for 3 weeks way 

What would be their theme song?

I don’t have one but like you (dany) said.. sara by fleetwood mac’s lyrics have the vibes & i get weirdly emotional about them every time i hear it so. that qualifies 😌

Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

GODDDD I don’t know. the mental image of them having a child at all (MAYBE in the au just for fun but.. idk.)

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

gooddddd Sam is just doing mafia shit idk. hangs around with the don/his friends or in his stupid boxing club. Julia goes back to writing some random article/rewriting it if she’s particularly bored. Also hangs out with her friends. 

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

GODD the entire canon timeline 1938 and after that. We have au’s for this bitch but you know how it is... Like I said in a post on my oc blog, she doesn’t know anything about the bank job/salieri smuggling drugs now/you know what :)... just a bunch of fucked up things all happening on one day. 

She & Olive leave for Empire Bay after Tommy tells them to get out of town before he snitches on Salieri, Julia ends up marrying the nephew of her old editor-in-chief because she never had that (a wedding lol) & feels like she’s missing out. She’s not happy though, she doesn’t really love him so she just drowns herself in work instead/becomes a bitter workaholic :) He’s not a bad guy, there’s just no real connection there. Come back when you’re emotionally repressed 😒  Her husband also doesn’t know anything about her life before moving to empire bay except that she was a reporter in Lost Heaven and that she has a dead boyfriend who he saw on a few old photographs that Julia keeps in a little box :( Sees her with big smile on those that he never saw on her before 🙃

one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

I don’t know what to say here but in regards to the AU i mentioned uhhh.. basically the ending doesn’t happen bc Sam is somewhat normal I suppose, gets over his repression & doesn’t betray his friends 😌.. they get married in 1939/40 something :^)

[0mam]

my loyola sub,, hehe,, we jut sessioned for like 6h,, he brought me lilies, just lilies,, not cala lilies, but when i pointed them out to him he rewinded the video to familiarize himself with the specific type of lily i like the most out of all lilies.

Thats a nice name, lily. if i have children, i want them to be girls and to be named after flowers, magnolia, lily, chrysanthemum, or like Jasmine (that one kinda basic tho,, I want my child to have a unique name, it feels awesome to be the only “___” most people will meet)

Anyhow, yea, we did choking, spiting, slapping, spanking, impact play, forced sissyfying, and lots of teasing. Yea.. we also walked to get boba which was nice, he paid ofc, lol. I am spoiled. I love it. He also washed my dishes & paid me for my company/services/experience/beauty. 

I am so amazing. I love me. I am meant to be pined after. I am not supposed to be attainable except for the most elite of men. Like my boyfriend is allowed to date me because he’s 25 and moving to Chicago to go to UIC to pursue a PhD in Mathematics, after double-majoring in mathematics & engineering for his Masters at one of France’s best schools. So... Yea... Not to mention our sex is amazing, huge horse ween, (lowkey his family is loaded but that doesn’t matter, just feels nice that I am rich & so is he by association), he’s French, so romantic, great kisser, great lover, loves to worship my body, always spoils me. Honestly, my boyfriend is the standard. He really is the blueprint. I love him so much. Lately I’ve been wanting to tell him that I think he could be the love of my life... it’s really scary to think about, like saying that to him. I really believe it, I just feel vulnerable lol. Like,, really. I worship him as much as he worships me. I am learning French for him, I am going to make him a lovely appetizer, dinner & dessert for a late birthday celebration. I made him a banner that says “WELCOME HOME” which took me a couple hours but it was quarantine so i had plenty of time lol. I also made another that says “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” and I am excited to make his requested dessert. It’s a choux which I’ve made before so I think it will not be hard to make again, but he wants like these ice cream filled choux puffs that are then coated with tempered chocolate. Yes I am a bit intimidated by tempered chocolate but i know that i am an extremely patient person. 

Yea... I love him so much. He matches my level of devotion as well. That is probably what feels the most amazing. He always tries to spoil me, offering massages, making me breakfast before work so I can sleep in a bit more after a night of late sex, massages my feet, we makeout often, always wants to go on walks together, yea. I love him. I hope we dont change too much after he moves in. I love us now, I hope I can always love us this much. Even after the sex dies down, we can have mentally stimulating conversations about politics, domestic or foreign, the economy, views on policies, trade, but then we also have super dorky conversations as well. Yea... I love him so much. I am so so so smitten. I am so scared lol. 

He always insists on carrying the backpack, groceries, my jacket, my purse when I want to take photos, and literally my hand. Always. He’s always been so proud to be dating me, since I’ve gotten skinny, I feel somehow more deserving of him. Like of course i was deserving anyways, but idk... It’s just some type of validation i have given myself. I hope i do not gain too much weight around him. I do expect to gain a bit, the man is 1000% beefcake so he eats a lot, but I am hoping it’ll just add to the lil muscle I’ve built so far. 

Sigh. Yea. Smitten for sure. It’s hard to share these feelings even though I know no one is reading them. Just for me to say them and possibly see them in the future is a bit scary I guess. I think he’s the most amazing man I’ve met so far. If it doesn’t work I guess that’s okay.. tbh I was not expecting us to date this long lol like anywhere near this long. I thought he’d have a hard time with the distance and end it,, but no.. I showed him how to do it. I’ve always given him as much attention as he desires, except lately cause he’s on holiday & I’ve been holding sessions, so we’ve missed each other a bit but like,, he’s going to be here soon lol. I am thinking we should get like a 2/3 br apt so that way we have a bedroom, he has a study since he will be really busy with his school, and I can have a room for sessions. I think that would be nice. Like really nice. If I can continue to dom & make money this fast I am hoping to have a house by 30 but I will always hold onto my money as best as I can. Yea. 

The goal is to continue domming, make like all my money from that, be able to afford my portion of the bills, save a lot, go on a very nice vacation at least once every 2 years, and also go to school and have it paid for with subs money. 

The next purchases I will be making with subs money is to max out my retirement savings account, build a 3k$ pc, and then buy me a car, then get a macbook pro air whatever the nicest one is. Yea. I’m a fucking bad bitch. I love me. I am a goddamn hustler, but I’m gorgeous and smart. Yea.. I want submissives in France that will manage properties for me, or run a b&b and send me the profits every month. In exchange for their loyalty and devotion to their superior, when my boyfriend and i vacation in the south of france, we will stay in the property and maybe let the loser watch us fuck. we go at it like animals,, so hot. I love us. So happy right now. I really love him. I am going to put my all into this relationship and I think he will too. I love him. 

[pivitor]

Help, I have emotions (aka the dating update I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for)

So, it’s been about a month, I guess, since I signed up for OKCupid and started legitimately dating? I have a lot of emotions! I need to get them out! So you get, basically, a diary post from me. Things might get very mildly NSFW, not because I’m trying to brag or broadcast these guys and mine’s business, but because it’s important to the stories, and because it’s my blog. I’m hoping this helps me figure some things out, or exorcise some things, or something.

So, there’s been about eight different guys I’ve chatted with. There’s a cute doctor who was really dull to talk to and ghosted me. Twice! One guy who was actually from Delaware! We talked for a day, he didn’t see my response to his last message for four days, and then when he did read it, didn’t respond. Either the very first or second guy I talked to ended up being a cop; thankfully, he had basically already said that we were too far apart to date (”If you lived closer, I’d totally ask you out”), and just started trying to talk here or there, so it was easy to end that one painlessly. None of those situations bothered or upset me.

One guy I talked to quite a bit, a young guy who works in a lab in Philly, and I liked him a lot and wanted to actually go on a date with him, but we’d been talking maybe a week and a half by that point? And we had talked about going out several times and neither of us had actually made the move to schedule something? On my end, I just had a hellish schedule for a bit, and I had one more date I was trying to slot in, and then once I know when that was going to be, I was going to ask him out. Literally the day I was going to ask him out, he stops replying to me (and then posts a subtweet about how unfortunate it is that he’s attracted to men). I think I waited too long, which I feel bad about :( He still follows me on Instagram, though, which is awkward.

There’s this other guy I’ve been talking to, I’ll call him “S,” who is REALLY cute. Physically, I’m into him perhaps more than anyone I’ve talked to. But he’s ended up being a pretty boring to talk to. He lives almost two hours away, so I initially talked about coming down to meet him, but then as time passed and I realized that he was kinda boring, I was less enthused, and I haven’t initiated conversation with him in a while, but he’s still been messaging me and talking about meeting up. So it was definitely time to either meet up or call things off completely. This Sunday coming up I’m heading not too far from him to see a concert anyway, so I told him I’d come down around lunch time and we could hang for a few hours and see what happens. I’m not expecting much out of it, but maybe he’ll surprise me. And if I end up calling things off, at least I can say I gave it the good ol’ college try.

But there’s been three guys I’ve actually gone on dates with so far, and have really liked all of them. So, of course, that’s where things get complicated. I’m going to start with this guy “J.” He’s a park ranger in Philly, and I really enjoy talking to him, both by text and in person. I think he’s interesting and knows how to hold a conversation. He’s cute too, but after our first date (where we met for dinner and walked around the city a bit; I had a very nice time) I wasn’t sure how much physical chemistry we had; we were clearly into each other, but there was no kiss or anything, and only very mild flirting by text. He has more dating experience than me, but not much, so I think we’re both pretty hesitant sometimes. It took about two weeks to go on another date with him, and by the time we had the date, I had kinda assumed we would end up being just friends, and was fine with that, to be honest.

The second date started out pretty awkward. We had dinner and walked around the city again, but we only had two hours of parking where we were, so had to wrap things up pretty quickly. I was hoping he would want to go somewhere else and continue the date for a little while, but all of a sudden he sprung on me “oh, here’s my car!” and it legit startled me, and I was too thrown to suggest going somewhere else, and he didn’t either and just said “I’ll see you next time!” And we did a hug goodbye that was awkward because as soon as it became a hug I got a vibe “oh, that should have been a kiss” and got really self conscious. So it ended awkwardly, and I felt dumb, and I drove over to the Barcade because that’s what I do when I have time to kill in Philly, and/or when I’m feeling down. He ends up texting me as soon as I get there saying that he had a great time but thought that I seemed a bit disappointed, so I explained to him how I had hoped it would last longer, and he admitted that he had wanted to kiss me at the end and wasn’t sure if he should, and I agreed that I had wanted that too; long story short, he drives over to the Barcade too and we have a much nicer date over there, a really nice conversation then about twenty minutes of making out in a booth. I gotta say, public making out is very bizarre, but I enjoyed it haha.

So the next day and a half or so we have some really frank conversations about sex and what we’re looking for in relationships and all that. He admits that he’s having trouble choosing between me and another guy, and I say I’m basically doing the same thing (except he’s one of three). We all but say we’re going to have sex with each other soon. And then, three days after that second date, he texts me to tell me that he asked the other guy to be his boyfriend. So it wasn’t out of nowhere, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen that quickly! And right as I was really starting to get attached to him. I’m not going to act like two dates and a month or so of conversation is an epic romance, but it still hurt, especially the fact that he chose somebody else over me. But I also freely admit that he did nothing wrong, and if he was trying to find a boyfriend that quickly, he probably made the right choice. If he had asked me to be his boyfriend instead, I don’t know if I would’ve said yes. But, y’know, it still hurt.

We agreed to stay friends, and then the next day he texts me to say that he’s having second thoughts -- this is his first boyfriend, and he’s starting to feel like he lost his freedom (”On the first day?!” I reply back). He eventually says that he still wants to have sex with me, and is thinking of trying to open up his relationship. I’ll admit, it was tempting, but I could also see that it was a mess and I probably dodged a bullet. I told him to figure things out with his boyfriend before he started asking me about it. And he drops it. Then yesterday he brings it up again (and basically asks in a way that says “I don’t think much of open relationships but”), so at that point I tell him off. Maybe if he had already been in an open relationship when he met me, or if he had approached us both to say “I wanna date both of you” I’d have been into it. But the way he did it made me feel like an afterthought, a second choice, like he was trying to have his cake and eat it too or like I was a doubt he needed to get out of his head before he could fully commit to his boyfriend. I told him it made me feel shitty and I didn’t want to be a part of it. And to his credit, he immediately apologized, said he was selfish (a word I didn’t use, so he brought that on his own), and agreed we’d really just be friends from here on out, and he told his BF everything he had asked me and how I’d responded and apologized to him and they decided to be monogamous. So, bittersweet ending I guess.  

Except it’s still got me a little fucked up. Why does one rejection stick in my craw more than all the compliments I’m getting from the two guys I’m still talking to who really, really like me? Honestly, part of it was just that I really thought we were going to have sex. I still haven’t had sex -- J and I only kissed, “N” and I have made out a lot and he sucked me off a little, but he doesn’t have sex unless he’s in a relationship, and “P” and I have done pretty much everything two guys can do up to actual penetrative sex, so based off that and a convo we had today I’m thinking it will happen next time I see him, but it’s going to be two more weeks before I can see him again. So thinking about J having sex with his boyfriend has really got me down and frustrated. Not even because I want to have sex with him, just because I want to have some goddamn sex already, and he’s having it and I’m not. And I realize that’s petty. But that’s how I feel

Him having “settled down” also has me anxious about N and P, the other two guys, and ones I liked more than J from the start, despite my last five paragraphs lol. N lives in Philly, and we’ve gone out four times now. He’s made it clear that he’d love to date me and that he’d be my boyfriend in a heartbeat, but I have to be the one to ask at this point, because he’s brought it up multiple times and I’m basically saying I’m not ready to make a decision yet. N works in a pharmacy but is a brilliant chef who made me a homecooked meal on our first date and it was some real romantic comedy shit -- I was midsentence as he cooked and he turned around, kissed me, and said “I’d been wanting to do that all night” leaving me in an amazing daze. N and I click really well and basically spend our dates playing video games, eating, and cuddling/making out (which I love doing with him) while we watch anime, and it’s really nice. He lives with one of his best friends and her family and they’ve all really welcomed me into their lives. He’s such a kind, generous person, who I make blush fairly often, and vice versa. I could see myself dating him.

But he also describes himself as a functional alcoholic. He smokes, which I hate, but he only does it outside -- the bigger issue there is the vaping, which he does inside. It makes him taste great when we make out, but IDK what it’s doing to my health (I always feel hazy when I leave his place, but I don’t know if it’s the smoke or that I’m generally leaving really late), and I don’t like being in even the faint smoke all the time. I need to talk to him about it on our next date, but I could see it being a dealbreaker. He’s also not a great texter. We have no problem talking in person, but our text convos are pretty sporadic, I haven’t quite cracked the code to them yet. That’s not the end of the world, but I’m going to have to figure out some way to talk to him between dates if we’re not texting because having that form of communication is important to me. He knows about me growing up in a cult (all three of these guys did/do, actually) and that I’m not out to my family yet and says he’s fine with it, but I don’t think he really *gets* it and is a little frustrated that I haven’t been able to stay the night yet. I am too, admittedly and obviously, but the pressure when I’m in a really complicated situation is a little much sometimes.

P, meanwhile, is a personal trainer and music teacher. We text pretty much all day every day, some of it legit conversation, some of it just silly bullshit, but it’s fun and makes me happy. He took me to a trampoline park on our first date, and out to a terrific brunch, and we have just as easy a chemistry in person as we do by text. He’s very zen and has an intriguing outlook on life that I appreciate. He’s not religious at all but does consider himself spiritual and he’s the first person who has made that distinction appealing to me. And we have electric physical chemistry. I am just so attracted to him, and apparently, vice versa. I won’t get into all the details, but things went way further, way faster with him than I expected (I’ve done more with him than I’ve done with anyone else), and I loved every minute of it.  Again, I could really, really see myself dating this guy.

The biggest problem here is the distance. He lives about 1 hour and 45 minutes away. It’s not the worst distance by a long margin. I drive that fairly often, and have considered dating guys who live that far away before. But it’s still a big complication, especially this month, when he’s non-stop swamped conducting two school plays, and also while I’m still living at home, which means he can’t come down to visit. I’m not sure how to navigate it yet, especially as we go further into the future. IDK if I would want to live in his town, if it came to that -- It’s nice, but I want to live in Philly, and I’d be even further from Philly there than I am now. Would he ever wanna move, even though his family, his students, and the business he built for himself are all in that town? I dunno. Those are probably questions for further in the future, but they have me really anxious.

It’s probably too early to be trying to “choose,” but I’m feeling that pressure from multiple directions, some more legit than others. I purposely haven’t matched with anyone else on the app or tried talking to anyone new because I wanna resolve things with my current batch of guys before I do. Honestly? I wish I hadn’t met them all at the same time. N and P are both great guys and I’d have dated either of them, and I feel shitty that choosing one means dropping the other and not getting that chance. But I’m going to try to be patient and get to know them both better, and maybe my path forward will become clearer as I do.

Anyway, that’s where I am right now. And actually? Yeah, I do feel better getting this off my chest.

[purplesurveys]

857

Your last ex finds out you’ve fallen in love with another person? I got back with my ex and I’ve only been ~in love~ with her, so this question doesn’t apply to me at all.

When’s the last time you were surprised? Today, because I SAW GABIE. After four goddamn months!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a big surprise to see her again, even if we did plan this out yesterday. I loved every bit of the brief time we had. Still giddy as fuck.

Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life? Realistically it wouldn’t be the end of the world but it would still suck and I would still be devastated, of course.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? Had water after finishing my dinner, just a few minutes ago. But I’m heating up some water so I can make coffee to drink for tonight.

Your mom finds used condoms in your room, you tell her? I’ll tell her it’s probably a prank from a friend, because it most likely would be. I’ve no reason to keep condoms, used or unused. Also I’d be pretty fucking pissed with such a prank and I’m likely to have a talk with that friend.

Do you prefer pasta salad, or coleslaw? I’d go with coleslaw, mostly because I do love it anyway and kinda because I’ve never heard of pasta salad.

Do you find smoking unattractive? I don’t find it ugly but it’s not necessarily attractive either. I don’t mind it, which is a far cry from what 18 year old anti-cigarette Robyn would’ve said.

Where’s the last place you went besides your house? I went to Gab’s house this afternoon. We played dress-up games, I bought from his dad’s small business (which sells theeee best Korean street food), she told me all about her internship and showed me the different softwares she uses, and she also introduced me to transcribing websites that can pay me a bit of money every hour because we’re both panicking about our futures hahahaha. Our activities were a bit of a rollercoaster but I fucking loved it. I was so happy for those three short hours.

If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for? I would love if I could get to dine in one of my favorite restaurants again.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Yes, I can. I’m not dependent on it and mostly drink it socially, except for the times I have bottles of soju in the fridge to drink when I’m alone and just wanna chill. Also, childhood trauma because of alcoholism in the family has made me pretty firm in my decision to not fall in too deep with my drinks.

Whose bed were you on last? Just mine.

When was the last time you changed in front of someone? March, probs? I don’t do that a lot except with my best friends.

Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? A few hundred times.

Do you trust all of your friends? Yes. To begin with, they’re my friends because I trust them.

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice? Yes. I don’t like it when she loses her temper because it takes a while for her to be in control of it, but 99.8% of the time she’s the nicest, sweetest, and most understanding person I know.

Does anyone call you babe? Just my girlfriend, I think.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating? Of course. Do you think the last person you kissed is a player? Well she’s only been with me and that’s been going on for a while, so I don’t know. We’ve had ‘what if we never got back together’ conversations though and she has told me that single!her definitely would’ve dated around and fooled around, so it’s possible that she could’ve been a player.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? I would change my shorts. My tank top is decent; it’s actually meant to be worn outside but since it’s sleeveless and thin, I’ve taken to wearing it around the house so that I look cute here as well lol. I miss dressing up.

Do you believe exes can really ever be “just friends”? I do but I also don’t. Situation’s different for everyone.

Your ex wants you back? She did four years ago.

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships? Just the one.

Anyone say they want to be with you forever? Mmm nope. It’s okay though, not really a fan of such dialogue. I’d rather she express this thought in different, less-cliche words.

Do you remember who you liked this time 3 months ago? Gabie.

Ever dated someone who was gorgeous but they had a conceited personality? No, I never thought of her as conceited.

Last person you had a deep conversation with? Again, Gabie. We had a brief but deep conversation about our plans for the short-term future, i.e. job-hunting, the possibility of freelancing for now, etc.

Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? Other than my dogs, no.

Did you reject or accept your last friend request? I ignored it for the meantime, haha. I don’t know who he is but we have tons of mutual friends apparently, so I’ll ask around to see if it’s safe to add him.

Would you prefer being locked in a room with your ex or your worst enemy? Ex, because that would also mean my current girlfriend and I’d never say no to being stuck in a room with her.

Have you kissed someone in ‘09 that means a lot to you? Didn’t kiss anyone in that year.

Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? I don’t have an ex but if I got into this situation with Gab it’ll be a hard-pill-to-swallow kind of situation. I’d ultimately let her go but like while I’d be bitter for a while, I would accept that it’s what she wants.

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? That’s gonna be a huge breakthrough from a biological standpoint but I think I’d be more horrified than excited? I was traumatized enough by what happened in Eraserhead, so I’ll rush to the doctors first before celebrating lol.

Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? Neck.

Would it hurt seeing the person you last kissed kissing someone else? Yup.

If the last person you kissed bumped into you at school, what would you say? “what the fuck are you doing here”

Do you have a member of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Andrew.

Do you believe your latest ex thinks about you? So tired of explaining the whole my-ex-is-now-my-girlfriend thing over and over lol so I might just skip questions like these if they still come up.

Has the last person you kissed, met your family? She’s met them but she’s just Gabie, Robyn’s best friend since seventh grade to my family.

Have you ever received a myspace message that made you cry? I was never active on Myspace.

Name someone whose name starts with the letter “L”: Liana, my successor in my vice-presidential position in my org.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yep.

Will you fall in love in the next month? I think staying in it is more apt to say.

You’re insanely drunk stumbling through the streets, slurring songs, who are you with? While I’d let myself get to that level of drunk, I definitely wouldn’t let myself go out in public because that’s just dangerous. But to slightly answer this question, I’m willing to get irresponsibly drunk with Kate, Aya, Jo, and JM. Probably not Luisa because the last time we got drunk together she held my hand and it felt so off and I just wanted to run to Gab and cry because I was so creeped out.

Next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. In another four months, maybe?

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? I think Gab. I just said I wasn’t ok and that I’ll just go to bed.

Do you like to cuddle? Only with my person.

If an ex said they hated you, you say? -

Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? No. I think that could get pretty unhealthy.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? Tons of things. I’ve stopped saying I’ll never do this and that because I always end up doing so. In the last decade I’ve joined a college org, drank alcohol, smoked a cigarette, vaped, liked smoothies...list goes on and on.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? Nopes.

Is there someone you used to talk to every day that you don’t talk to at all? Yeah, people have come and gone. Sofie, Athenna, Macy, Chelsea, Kaira, Fern, Gabe, Agatha, Sachi, Audrey, Angel, Andi...again. List goes on.

Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? That would be my mom, and I am at best civil with her. We have good days but they’re rare at best. I don’t see myself ending up being best friends with her many years from now.

Can you have more than one best friend? Yup, I have two.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? Mom, dad, Gab, Angela, Angela’s mom, and a bunch of people who congratulated me when I uploaded my grad photo on social media.

Last compliment you received? My hair.

Are you starting to realize anything? Now that I’m out of school for good and off to the real world? Absolutely.

Who was the first person you talked to today? My mom because she actually woke me up -_-

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? I’ve lasted a lot longer than that.

Have you ever known someone that just creeped you out? Yes. And my intuition turned to be right because they were recently officially reported for sexual harassment.

Do you hate it when people mispronounce your name? No because I don’t know how they can possibly mispronounce it; it’s pretty straightforward. I do get misspellings a lot but I’m not annoyed a lot by it because I understandably have the less-common spelling of the name.