#except for animal abuse which is pokemon based

[firedragon1321]

I'm Surviving My College Class by Making a Madame Bovary Pokemon AU

Amongst other things.

For people who have never taken a college literature class, Madame Bovary is a novel about a woman who marries the stupidest doctor in all the land, has two different affairs, never finds fulfillment, buys a bunch of shit to make herself feel richer, drags her family into debt, and then commits suicide to escape it. Her husband never figures out even half of it until the last chapter.

I'm going under the assumption that- in this AU- most people only have enough money to care for one Pokemon. Exception being the Bovary family- as Emma's Pokemon came with her into the marriage- and a character I believe could afford to feed two.

Emma Bovary- F Eevee -> Leafeon. She popped up on the farm fairly recently, eating whatever she could find. Emma hoped she would become a Sylveon or Espeon- perhaps an Umbreon under the full moon. None of these things happen because she moves to Yonville (that's the town's actual canonical name). It is known for its agriculture, so Eevee- influenced by this environment- evolves into a Leafeon. She becomes yet another symbol of the life Emma hates, and she eventually disowns the Pokemon. Brokenhearted, Leafeon's leaves slowly turn orange. Unlike her mistress, she survives (because I am not that evil) but is a broken-hearted- if rare- autumn variant. However...

Bethe Bovary- F Leafeon (autumn variant). This is the same one mentioned above, who returns and protects her mistress's daughter. Bethe is a baby in the actual book, but in this AU, I wanted to go a little further in time to her childhood. She appreciates Leafeon more than her mother did. While her leaves never heal, her heart does.

Charles Bovary- M Slowpoke -> Slowbro. All you need to know about this man is he is an insufferable dumbass, who can't even tell his wife is cheating on him and leaking all their money. He heard while in medical school that Slowpoke is good for treating illness with its psychic powers (source- the rumor mill, made of other students). Because he's too much of an idiot to figure out trade evolutions, he couldn't evolve Slowpoke into a Slowking. Slowbro is cheerful and helpful, but kinda dumb, and definitely useless in medical situations.

Lheureux- M Alolan Meowth. The only winner in the story, a task he succeeds at by putting the Bovarys in serious debt. A Meowth was the only Pokemon that made any sense. He mostly sulks around, playing with whatever coins his Trainer happens to drop. I chose Alolan Meowth because you're telling me this man wouldn't have a Dark-type? Speaking of...

Rodolphe: F Liepard and M Murkrow. This guy's just an asshole. He's affair number two, and leads Emma along until he realizes that she's a human with flaws. Liepard is his main Pokemon- a former show mon who looks pretty and fierce, but doesn't battle well. Murkrow is used for delivering letters and packages.

Homais: M Loudred. These two literally have the same personality. Loudred agrees with everything Homais says. Even if you can't understand him, he makes sure everyone in Yonville can hear his approval. Kinda like Slowbro, but Slowbro is benign while this guy can break windows.

Leon: M Vulpix -> Ninetales. Affair number 1. He was hard to pick a Pokemon for. But I was thinking of Fire-types (because of a certain Galarian champion) and selected for Vulpix. This man believes he's a romantic, but is actually rather self-absorbed. He still manages to treat Vulpix well. There's a point where he nopes off to another town, where he comes across a Fire Stone. By the time he comes back into the story, Vulpix has evolved. He is furiously protective of his Trainer.

Hippolyte: M Bonsly -> Sudowoodo. Not a major character, but I LOVE therapy Pokemon. In the actual book, Hippolyte is subject to a surgery to cure club foot, despite being able to walk fine. It goes wonky and he loses his leg. It is shortly after this that he encounters Bonsly. With love and care, it becomes Sudowoodo. Sudowoodo serves as a makeshift cane, helping his Trainer get around.

Beggar: M Gastly. Also not a major character, but I wanted to give him a Ghost-type to sing creepy songs with.

[rfurny]

Thursday thoughts - I like Serena as a character, but not as Ash's love interest. I do see why some fans cling to amourshipping because they connect with Serena's feelings. Heck, I would probably get along with Serena really well. In terms of the better built relationship, however, Pokeshipping wins the award.

I want to clarify that in my anime headcanon, they are more like older teenagers than 10 year olds. (I teach 4th grade, and them being 10 just doesn't compute in my head!)

At the start of XY, Serena leaves on her journey solely because she has a huge crush on Ash and wants to find him. Fine, like kids/teens make big decisions based on feelings. Honestly, it is a bit cringy to me, but still realistic. Of course, throughout their travels she learns a lot about herself and Pokemon because of Ash. He has inspired a lot of young trainers! He is definitely kind to her and a great friend. However, just because Serena has a crush on Ash, it doesn't mean he returns those feelings.

Okay, well yes, you can argue that Misty followed Ash because of a crush, but that formed concurrently with their strong friendship and the fact that he really did owe her a bike. I would have been pissed too if someone fried my bike. Misty's crush developed as she watched this imperfect, young boy grow and find his true niche in the Pokemon world. She saw him. She saw him for who he was then and who he is now. They are truly equals.

In terms of compatibility, I just don't find Serena and Ash to be the best fit based on the 900+ episodes and counting that I have seen of Ash. While she is pretty, good at baking, gentle, and sweet, it doesn't mean that it is what Ash needs or wants. Ash is the type of character to charge in head first. He can be stubborn and dense. He is self sacrificing and heroic. He doesn't really care about frills which I would argue is a big deal for Serena who is fashionable and detailed oriented. And while Ash is shown to be more mature in XY, this maturity is a bit out of character since he seems to backtrack in Sun and Moon. (Don't get me wrong, I like mature Ash. I just don't think it is a consistent quality for him in the show. I think he is finding a balance in MPM.)

On the other hand, Misty matches his stubbornness head to head and is self sacrificing to a lesser degree. She also isn't afraid to chase after Ash into danger. She is bold and strong. She knows what she wants. She has a goal that is the closest to Ash's compared to any of his close friends except Iris. I get it that some people find Misty to be too abrasive and abusive. Yes, at first, Misty was too aggressive, but she has some of the best character development of anyone in Pokemon. I remember poking at the boy I liked when I was a kid! And, besides, Ash definitely was no saint to her in return!

To me, Serena kissing Ash at the end of XY was a wrap to her story. She started her journey because of Ash, and kissing him was part of the conclusion. She was no longer traveling because of her crush. She had found her love of Pokemon and performing. I felt like it was Serena sort of growing up and growing out of a childish crush. I'm not saying all of her feelings for Ash disappeared, but her journey became bigger and more important than them. Without this character development, she wouldn't have left Ash. Also, amourshipping isn't canon just because Serena kissed Ash. It is still one-sided considering Ash did not really respond with more than a small smile.

When Misty left, it did not feel like an ending. She didn't want to leave, but obligations arose. She wanted to travel forever by Ash's side, and she would have too. And maybe now she will in MPM. She was also the only departure that Ash ever cried over. It is valid that Brock left then too; however, Ash didn't cry when Brock stayed behind with Professor Ivy.

I really do understand why people like amourshipping, but Pokeshipping was designed and implemented more realistically which is why I have clung so hard to it. It truly was my first ship.

I know there seems to be a lot of other Ash ships around, but over the course of 26 years I believe that the amount of Pokeshippers (quiet and outspoken) would blow any other Ash ship out of the water.

[shitpostingkats]

Yu-Gi-Oh Review Roundup: GX!

Favorite main character: Chazz Princeton

The Chazz. The yugioh rival who, barely five episodes into the first season, gets fed up with being in the show, sails away on a yacht, shipwrecks, is rescued by card game playing russians, gets adopted by said russians after beating all of them back to back in a 50 man gauntlet, and returns to the main plot triumphantly riding a submarine with an entire crowd of slavs chanting his name.

In, uh... *checks watch* episode 25.

Chazz is one of those yugioh characters who’s just always doing the most he possibly can, and you gotta love him for it. And unlike some prideful anime rivals, he actually has the skills to back it up. Skills you actually get to watch him build himself, from the ground up, after having his fall from grace/russian sabbatical. Which just makes it even more satisfying to see him tear into duels, because his archetype of choice, and his whole arc in general, is about using the most unintimidating, unwanted, and least powerful monsters. It’s like the pokemon trainers who threaten to beat you into next week, and then bring out. A magikarp.

Except he then absolutely trashes you with said magikarp. And clomps away in his big goth platforms, loudly proclaiming that magikarp are annoying, and stupid, and he definitely doesn’t like them. Nu-uh. Ignore the maxed out friendship stat.

Up until the heavier plot kicks in in season three, Chazz has hands down the best character arcs of GX. His fight to break free of his abusive brothers’ control, his crabby assimilation into the Slifer Squad, his brief stint and subsequent escape from a Literal Cult (yeah that happens in gx don’t worry about it). Chazz is such a charismatic and well developed character that, when he kinda vanishes for like a dozen episodes, only to reappear, having won an entire tournament offscreen, being heralded by banner-bearers, and carried on a freaking PALANQUIN

I stood up and CHEERED.

Favorite antagonist: The Dark King

The most stunning of trope subversions in a season chock-full of them. Yes, Yubel may be a more threatening and complex villain, but they have so much going on between the dub vs. sub battle, they may get the final save-the-world card game at the end of the season, but the Dark King is such an equally nuanced and menacing antagonist.

Because he’s the protagonist.

 The dark king is every concept I loved about the Yamis in DM, the idea that parts of ones soul aren’t wholly power of friendship goodness, the idea that you can still choose to be an anime protag even if there’s darkness living inside of you. Because being kind is hard. And the act of pursuing it hits so much harder when we see how much it costs to turn down the other path.

Again, I’m a sucker for any character arc even remotely analogous to mental illness. If you see a pattern in the way I review media, I wholeheartedly claim it. I am a simple creature.

But the Dark King also functions so fantastically as both a metaphor and a subversion because we’ve seen the trope of a Superpowered Evil Side before. The show is betting on that. The twist comes in that the Dark King is not some malevolent, foreign entity. That it’s Jaden. Just a scared kid, lashing out at the world and forced to deal with the consequences. And he’s not evil.

Whereas Marik shows with dealing in the part of yourself that wants to commit atrocities, Jaden takes it the next step, and has to accept that you can’t just get rid of it. You have to live with it. Rein it in. But be kind to it. Because it is you, and it just wants to keep you safe and it may be wrong and a base impulse but punishing your worst instincts is not only self harmful, it is impossible.

You may have instantly internalized any negative emotion out of shame, and yes, you may somedays even be controlled by it. But do not fear it. Learn to work in tandem with your rage. Do not let it possess you, but do not imprison it either.

The Dark King is one of those stories that I really think I needed to hear as a kid, but even now, consuming the series as an adult, doesn’t make that message any less impactful.

Favorite side character: Tyranno Hassleberry

Back in the early days of 2021, before the first season of yugioh dm was even a passing consideration of a thought in my mind, I decided to poll my online friends and determine what they thought the Best Worst Name in localized yugioh.

These were people that had never watched yugioh, never so much as glanced at the card game.

We started with 32 names.

After five rounds of voting, only one was left standing.

Tyranno Hassleberry beat Maximillion Pegasus, and thus was crowned the ultimate champion of Best Bad Yugioh Name.

Some might say this championship gave me a bit of a preemptive bias towards the funny dinosaur man.

They’d be right.

Imagine my delight, however, when this already-primed-for-stupidity name got a face, and we learn that big, dumb, real himbo of a yugioh name is attached to an equally big and dumb himbo of typical yugioh absurdity. I mean, truly, Tyranno Hassleberry is everything I love about yugioh worldbuilding, personified. In a series that takes an up close examination of the partnerships between man and monster, and the terrible psychological effects thereof, Hassleberry stands as the shining example of a character so full of love and stupidity that he is immune to the horrors.

While Jaden “What is attraction” Yuki is off getting ptsd from his partnership with a dragon demon that hyperfocuses on relationships so hard that it has put people into comas, Tyranno is also there. Just vibing. Hassleberry, do you have such a strong spiritual connection to your ace monster that you might be genuinely inhuman? Do you also have special anime eyes and mild superpowers? How’s that going? Good? Good!

The world of yugioh not only can provide rich, nuanced explorations on mental wellness and the very idea of identity, it can also provide a man who is half dinosaur and it is only ever lightly remarked upon. Apparently, the solution to surviving an ever expanding universe of unreality and cosmic horrors beyond your imagination is just. Be kind. Be happy. Talk about dinosaurs.

Favorite duel: Yubel vs. Zane

A masterclass on how non-plot-relevant duels can still contribute SO much to the show and its characters.

Zane is a funny little weirdo. The walking personification of Gifted Kid Burnout, this dude graduated valedictorian and then immediately proceeded to get kicked in the ribs by the realities of non-academic living, causing him to sink into a deep and self harmful depression spiral, obsessed with pulling others down to his level and proving to them that happy go lucky positivity is only a naive shield in the face of true adversity and cruelty.

*Laughs a bit too forcefully* What a funny dude!

Zane has basically been on a downward slide in mental wellbeing since season two, and at this point, seems to have reached a natural stopping point in his corruption arc. Tired, washed out, and pessimistic, but at least comfortable in his status quo of being An Absolute Mess. He’s teamed up with Aster as sort of the token chaotic neutrals of the party, the only ones edgy enough to do things like casual torture and murder, but he’s attempted to reach out to his brother, and has even begrudgingly been roped into protecting the gang as they make their final stand against Yubel. He seems to be operating under the belief that while he no longer has to try so hard to rid the highschoolers of their delusions that the power of love and friendship will save the day, he’s still a depressed snot rag wrapped in a black leather overcoat.

That fantastic bit of ex-villainous personality gets to go head to head against the current villainous personality, and it is a treat. Yubel and Zane carry entire scenes through sheer force of presence, and seeing them snark and attempt to out edgelord each other is a delight.

But it also is a very pivotal point for Zane’s character because, for once, he is not the most mentally unstable person in the room. That honor goes to Jaden, newly traumatized, and about to start rolling down the same hill. Zane recognizes those self destructive behaviors, even attempts to warn Jaden that refusing to acknowledge his actions will only lead to further harm, but before he can properly sit down and explain to Jaden that self harmful behaviors are bad actually, and that electrocuting yourself to feel any semblance of emotion is actually a massive holy shit red flag, Yubel interrupts them.

So now, Zane, Failure Big Brother Extraordinaire, has to come to some semblance of peace with his own emo demons, while battling Jaden’s for him (both literally and figuratively).

The sheer panache of two of the most wonderful anti-heros of yugioh, the emotional turmoil of Zane’s inner conflict, the realistic portrayal of how we process trauma, plus the absolute YUGIOH MOVE that is choosing to die of card game induced heart attack. Honestly, I could go on about this duel forever.

Favorite arc: Quest for the Rainbow Dragon

I mentioned previously that I started watching yugioh as something to have on in the background, usually while I sewed. The Quest for the Rainbow Dragon is the arc that made me put down my needle and actually devote my full attention to watching the show.

GX is a show full of subverting audience expectations. I have my own opinions on the prioritization of shock-bait over consistent plot writing, but I also can��t deny that when Adrian Gecko just shrugged off his shirt and engaged in freaking fisticuffs, I was speechless for a whole five minutes.

In between one blink and the next, GX went from a weird early 2000s merchandise advert that occasionally had character writing and the oh-so-rare taste of legitimately serious writing, to a full on survival horror anime. The surreal, empty desert environment of the spirit world, the main cast slowly whittled down and frequently split up, the eerie monologues of Yubel and their legitimately unnerving horror visuals; all contribute to this claustrophobic feeling of dread. The panic of the students feels real.

And QftRD, despite being the first entry in GX’s much darker and grander second half, makes wonderful use of smaller scale episode plots. Entire episodes are devoted to the struggle of moving from one room in the school to the next, or negotiating for enough food to survive just another day. Every main character gets to shine in aspects that we’ve only seen hints of in their lives of status quo card games: whether it’s Alexis’ natural leadership, Hassleberry and Axels’ military skills, Crowler’s actual want to protect the students’ well being, or Jaden and Jesse just finally getting to explore their connections with duel monster spirits. Heck, even the unnamed students get to shine, using their knowledge of the school to navigate through hidden passages.

It’s such a shock to the system, after two and a half seasons of decidedly not small scale apocalyptic survival. The transition from Saturday Morning Cartoon Weirdness to PTSD War Crime Hours is very jarring and unexpected, even if you know it’s going to happen. But the duel zombies arc goes a long way to make that pivot feel deserved, to give actual weight to the sacrifices and choices the characters are about to make.

Also, I somehow managed to write this entire thing without realizing this is my second time my favorite arc in a ygo show has been the one with the word ‘dragon’ in the title.

Greatest strengths of the series:

The slow burn from shonen cartoon to cosmic horror trope subversion.

Truly, I can only compare GX to a handful of other shows that have ever come within the same ballpark of a viewing experience. The closest I can get is maybe relating it to Red vs Blue: One of my favorite shows of all time. And one that it’s absolutely impossible to get into.

See, with both GX and RvB, they’re shows that start out silly, unconnected, and (don’t worry, I love both of these shows with almost my entire heart), bad. Now, an impatient viewer might be tempted to just skip to the point where the show takes off, where it quote unquote “gets good”. But the problem is, if you attempt to cut out all the chaff, you lose what fundamentally makes the sudden spike in writing quality so compelling: the unexpectedness of it.

GX grabbed my attention by the throat in Waking The Dragon, because, up until then, I’d been using it as chill background fodder. Jaden felt so real to me as a protagonist and a person, because I’d spent fourty hours watching him be a normal protagonist/teenager. The previous episodes might not have done much to advance in terms of the plot, but they delivered something equally important: A status quo.

And when that status quo is broken, it feels much more powerful to the audience because it feels so fundamentally wrong. Just like it’s insane to watch in real time as RvB goes from being a bunch of outdated loosely strung together skits to a military drama waxing poetic about morality, GX spins on a dime from “Saturday morning cartoon” to “Cosmic horror meta tropefest”, and every episode you want to look up from the screen and go “How. Wh- Who let them just... do this?” Who let them set out to write one kind of story, and then not bother to correct them when they started doing something completely different? And why is it so good?

That is a very rare feeling in media, I think. To be so truly and utterly thrown off guard by a change in story direction, yet having more fun than you possibly could with some so-called “good” stories. And I think it’s a feeling worth cherishing.

Weakest points:

The slow burn from shonen cartoon to cosmic horror trope subversion.

The other reason I compare GX to Red vs. Blue is the fact that they are both shows that I cannot in good conscience recommend to friends.

“Here’s this show I like,” I say.

“Oh, cool, I’ll check it out!”

They return, minutes to hours later.

“So, I started that show you like and uh. Are you aware it is? Bad?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, it gets better-”

“Oh, sweet, cause I was really worried-”

“-Just give it a couple seasons!”

“I, uh.” They tug at their collar. “Can I skip the bad parts?”

“No. :D”

Hours and hours of time sunk into a mediocrity on the off-chance it “gets good” is a tough pill to swallow for most people. It’s a tough pill to swallow for me, and I willingly aspire to watch every yugioh anime. Add on top of that poor production quality,  bloated plot bunnies, and some writing that has aged like milk, and you have. Well. A benign watching experience, at minimum.

And like I said, there’s good ingredients to the final storyline buried in all that early stuff! Just skipping directly to the middle in a hope to reach “the part everyone talks about” fundamentally waters down the experience, leaving you struggling to understand what has fans going bananas.

Why does the show hit you on the head 200 times with a hammer? Cause it feels so good when it stops!

Now, I’m not your parent, and you can watch tv shows however you want. If you only watched seasons 3 and 4 of GX, then by god, you watched GX, and you are welcome at the discussion table. Get in here, amigo. Your opinion matters just as much as mine.

GX is very difficult to review, in comparison to all its other sister shows, because the aspects some people praise are the very aspects others could never really get into the show because of. Its greatest strength as a story and its greatest weakness as a show are one in the same. It’s sort of this weird child of the family, unable to be talked about without a lot of contradiction and conversational backtracking. Is GX the best show of the three? Maybe. Is it my favorite? No, with an asterisk. Is it some people’s favorite? Absolutely.

If you changed it, made the plot tighter, the writing more concise, had a planned narrative from the beginning and slowly worked in elements of the larger endgame, would those same people still like it, in the same fervor?

I don’t think so.

Most yugioh moment:

YA SEE, A FEW YEARS BACK, ON A ROUTINE DIG FOR DINOSAUR FOSSILS, A LANDSLIDE BROKE OUT AND NEARLY BROKE MY LEG IN TWO. THEY HAD TO OPERATE QUICKLY, SO THEY USED THE DINOSAUR BONE I FOUND TO SAVE MY LEG. EVER SINCE, I'VE HAD WHAT THEY CALL DINO DNA. THE DOCTOR SAYS IT MAKES ME STRONGER THAN THE AVERAGE JOE.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Maybe the Swords find N after like a year or two after Genesis takes hik in, they caught wind of Team Plasma's bs and nipped the issue in the bud. While storming a base or something they find a whole ass child.

I feel like this would give N his drive help and be a 'hero' but with the swords then focusing that intent to help pokemon with abusive or negligent trainers instead.

Gensis was a really big push for Ns drive to be a hero (though it was heavily manipulated).

I love the color idea of A feral guy just going around doing vigilante justice with the swords as backup.!

it iiis a fun idea but the THING IS the swords of justice... dont seem to care much about humans, going off actions, and according to legend actively distrust them due to their history of war and destruction (ignore the anime. we're talking games here). which is so well aligned with the story ghetsis spins for N, that i Can't help but think of a story where they, like N, are suckered into helping him. in agreement with the idea that humans are inherently abusive creatures and should be like... removed and sequestered away from pokemon forever. they could have taken the place of the dragon that ghetsis revives, or been an addition to it. making the job of whoever's stopping him Even Harder bc now he's got four or five legendary pokemon on his side.

now you could make the argument that they would have seen the way ghetsis actually treats his pokemon, and realized his true motive, but like, N can also talk to pokemon and he never figured that one out. and further i feel like they (excepting maybe keldeo) don't really live in the castle, and interact with ghetsis primarily through N, thus having even less opportunity to figure him out.

[hebimoonlightwrites]

heyho~! sry for going anon, but i really love your writing and ive been following you for a while but i also wanted a way to support you so here i go!!

i was thinking a bit (a lot) about who to request for cause i dont really have a favorite in hypmic… lets ignore the fact that ive been a crazy hypster for 4 years! anyways, i was wondering if you could pick a character for me based on some info about me? think of it as like one of those “which character from __ would be your s/o” except this time youre making the decision! sorry for being so indecisive dbdbcbejd but it would make me really happy if you had fun while writing this, if even a little! (btw if you cant/dont want to deal w/ this rq, dw!! and also sry for any spelling errors TT)

she/her pronouns! angst to fluff preference, s/o relationship!

some tidbits about me: i enjoy singing a lot! i also voice act a little, mostly for rhythm game fandoms! im a member of a professional choir part time, and i sing vocaloid songs a lot mostly when im alone! i hate singing too loudly though, especially in front of other people. i have a social anxiety disorder, which makes it hard to do a lot of things, im quite open, cheery, and light/soft hearted if you get to know me, and a bit of an airhead i have to admit- but i really do care for others even if it doesnt seem like it. very quiet in front of people i dont know well, and i come off as a bit gloomy and harsh to people im not familiar with, so i dont have many friends or people im close to at all. love/hate relationship w/ the idea of “love”, since i didnt really grow up around people who expressed that at all. but id be a very compassionate and dedicated lover. a bit hesitant for physical contact due to trauma and ptsd. only fine around people i can really trust. still a bit hesitant though, sometimed it triggers bad trauma. i dont like talking about family stuff since it was sorta abusive and not pleasant. i really enjoy vocaloid and utauloid, and cute j pop w/ mesmerizing dark backstories. i dress in mostly oversized vests/sweaters, in an attempt to make my frame seem smaller. some of my other intrests are: psychological horror games, pokemon, animanga, hypmic, enstars, milgram, given, sasaki to miyano, sanrio, etc etc :D i really like astrology and reincarnation stuff a lot! i can read people’s thoughts easily, which is kinda a pro/con alike. my sense of humor is… limited? i usually dont really show my feelings to other people. i lash out quite a lot… i really like soft plushies, stickers, sleeping, and sweet stuff! bubble waffles, taiyaki, hard milk candy, ice cream, konpeito, to name a few! i loveee stars, and hearts too! if im not listening to music or sleeping, im probably spaced out somewhere! i really like people who arent afraid to approach me, rather id be delighted if anyone came and just said a simple hi! people who can look past my quiet demeanor and can help me cope w/ some of my pain are the best! maybe just someone nice ig?? and someone w/ a lot of empathy! (bonus if they are a good cook cause my cooking… uh…) my favorite animals are cats, otters, foxes, anything cute! some characters i kin from various fandoms are: ramuda, hifumi, yuno kashiki, chuuya nakahara, mafuyu asahina, mika kagehira, ai hoshino, etc! i really like the colors pink, red, purple, and black! i want someone who can just tell me that i will be loved, and im important!!!! i think? not even sure if im capable of loving someone even- hehe just a silly thought though

thank you so much hebi!!

sending lots of love and stars your way!!

-neru

also i forgot to add this but, i HATE bugs. kinda scared of them too. especially the small ones. btw gl on exams hebi!! -neru

Writer's corner: Hi, sweetheart! Of course I can do something like this! You're the first one requesting about it, so I'm sorry if there's something you maybe don't like! (feel free to tell me and correct me!♥) Also, you really seem a nice person, actually!! Feel free to text me each time you want to, dear!!♥ I'm going to develop this like a kind of description and explanation of the reason why I chose that character, okay? Of course, feel free to tell me if there's something you want me to fix! Plus, if there's something that makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry! It's not my intention, dear♥ qwq

Warnings: So sorry! It's the first time someone requests me something like this! So sorry if it's bad qwq♥

⭐𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬/𝐨⭐

As I got the information about you, I immediately understood what kind of precious person you are..

⭐First of all, I got the idea that you are that kind of woman (maybe girl? idk, but I prefer using "woman" in general, since I don't know if you're younger or older qwq) who prefers to get lost in her own world, in those things and thoughts that are able to make her happier! You seem that kind of woman who seems a bad one, but who is actually compassionate and selfishless! You say that you're harsh towards the others, but I think you are so, not because you're a bad person, but because you are afraid instead-- Yes, afraid that someone could hurt you in any way!

⭐You said that you have some traumas, and well.. then it's because you went through so much pain that you're afraid of showing your true self! Because I seriously think that other people are sure that what they see is your true self when it's actually a kind of mask- oh better, an armor- you're using to protect yourself! You're both a strong and weak woman: you've gone through a lot of pain but you are still keeping going on!♥ You only told me that you like to sing and to voice act, but I bet that you do those things perfectly and that you're very talented! Maybe even the greatest singer among the choir!!

⭐In short, you immediately gave me some BusterBros!!! or Bad Ass Temple vibes, since you even mentioned your being otaku and your love for astrological things and reincarnation! Plus, the fact that you love plushies a lot and that you are very capable to understand people around you deeply and easily, well.. You're literally someone I'd ship with one boy among BusterBros or Bad Ass Temple!

⭐But to be sure to choose the perfect one for you, I really need to focus more on what you'd like to have in a relationship... ...also I don't really know about your age, so... I'm imagining you're like... 20-25..

But what do you want in a relationship?- You told me you'd like to have someone who can understand you, who can let you cope when you need to get out of your chest that pain you've inside.. and someone who can cook!!

---->If we take a look at all the BusterBros and Bad Ass Temple boys.. well:

⭐Jiro: I don't think he can actually cook and he also doesn't like horror stuff (while you said you like horror and psychological games). But he's well-versed in anime due to Ichiro, soo... I guess you could get along well with him anyway!

⭐Saburo: I mean.. he would agree with you about the pda fact and about the family one.. But he would really be a good gamer/friend! I can picture you both playing video-games.. I don't know, though, if he likes horror ones.. but he likes fantasy ones for sure! In any way, I don't really know how good he could be at comforting you! Maybe he'd be the best, since he also looks kind of harsh and unfriendly while he's actually a kind boy...-

⭐Kuko: Literally the best to talk to about your passion for reincarnation stuff! I'm also sure he would comfort you and even let you cope, but after that he would even fill you with Buddhist moralistic sentences and would try his best to give you some advices as well.. BUT he doesn't seem the one who can cook-----

⭐Jyushi: I mean.. you could be his sister actually in my opinion! You like plushies, just like him. You are introverted and went through pain just like he did.. You like astrological things just like he does! I mean.. You're exactly the same! But.. Sorry, Jyushi.. I don't think you would be able to fully comfort Neru when she needs it! Jyushi would literally start crying or make the situation sadder somehow in my opinion, and you literally need someone who can cheer you up and remind you that you're amazing and worth it- not someone who makes you feel even sadder! (sorry, Jyushi- qwq♥)

⭐Hitoya: He's another one who could actually be perfect for you, in my opinion! I mean.. he's a kind-hearted man who lives for justice! I bet he would fight against your "enemies" and do his best to make you feel appreciated and loved. Also I'm sure he'd be happy to listen to you when you need, and he would be great at comforting you, but.. I mean.. it depends on your age, sweetheart! qwq♥

I know it could sound basic, but...

Ichiro would be the best in my opinion!

⭐We're literally talking about a young man who's working hard each day at the Odd Jobs Yamada only to keep letting his brothers go on studying! If we think about it, it's really generous, actually! Ichiro is literally the one supporting not only himself and his own economical needs, but even his brother's ones and the apartment they all live in!!!

⭐The perfect boyfriend and husband, in my opinion!

⭐Also, he's kind-hearted! I'm sure he wouldn't mind listening to you while you're coping and letting all your pain out of your chest. He would definitely stop doing whatever he is doing only to get to you and comfort you! I'm 100% sure that he would also tell you something like: "Cry if you need to, love.." and would also be capable of turning around if you prefer to cry alone, without showing him.

⭐Otherwise, if you ask him to comfort you by hugging you, he would do it without any hesitation! On the other hand, he would respect your time and would avoid to get some PDA if you preferred not to get it!

⭐You could also play some games together or even read mangas too!

⭐I bet he would also cook your favourite dishes and sweets as well, maybe even teaching you how to cook! I'm 100% that Ichiro would also support you and tell you that your cooking is not that bad!

⭐He'd be there each time you feel like you need to remember that you're an amazing and valuable woman!

⭐"Hey, Neru! You can be yourself while you are around me! Stop being afraid of messing things up! You're amazing just the way you are!"♥

TOP 3 characters, results:

⭐1- Ichiro

⭐2-Hitoya

⭐3-Kuko

©hebimoonlightwrites_tumblr Please, do not copy my contents nor repost it without my permission.

[stepsonline]

Min hero tower of sages hard mode

This is also an issue if the monster's main form of offense (like the aforementioned Holymantis) in one of its skill trees is through Damage Over Time effects, since they can be unreliable by, say, a bubble. I also don't have any idea how damage calculation works, so that may be an issue as well. If a monster has a bad Attack stat, and is loaded with raw damage moves in its skill tree, it will not be very useful. As far as I can tell, there is only one offensive stat, which is Attack.

Holy, meanwhile, offers some overly expensive single-target heals and some fairly weak damaging moves. INSTEAD, both of them are centered on single-target heals, but Grass' heals apply Heal Over Time effects, making them more useful. You would EXPECT one of them to be single-target heals, while the other is multi-target, balancing out the group heals with larger costs. Its second skill tree is "Holy," which also focuses on healing.

For example, the Holymantis (Plant/Grass)'s first skill tree is "Grass," focusing on healing. Some monsters have really good setups for their skill trees, while others seem to get the shaft. The right tree is USUALLY borderline worthless because most of the moves are usually Normal-type, meaning they're effective against Holy, a Type that is quite rare and usually is paired with another Type that gives it a more common weakness ANYWAY. Every monster gets three skill trees the one on the left is usually damaged-focused, the middle tanking/healing, and the right support, with the first two being based on the monster's own Types where applicable. Expect to see plenty of enemies abusing this to render your monsters incapable of fighting back, especially as you progress. Said move is usually found in a skill tree comprised of mediocre-to-bad moves. This is WITHOUT taking into account an overpowered debuff that reduces your max Energy by 25%, stacks as much as desired, and never goes away once applied except with a move that clears debuffs. The problem is that some monsters have absolutely pathetic Energy levels in comparison to their moves' costs, resulting in some attacking maybe twice before being forced into Desperation. This is a bad thing, so you'll want plenty of Energy. If you run out of Energy, you are forced to use "Desperation," a typeless move with 20 power that shaves off 25% of your health AND does 10 dmg to you. The most important stat is Energy, which takes the place of PP in Pokemon, or MP in Dragon Quest Monsters. I'm not sure if the Taunt passive works properly it SHOULD be that each monster with Taunt will take a percentage of the damage the intended recipient would have (ex: Mon-A would normally take 100 dmg, but Mon-B has Taunt+45%, so Mon-A takes only 55 dmg and Mon-B takes the other 45) (ex2: Mon-A would take 100 dmg, but Mon-B has Taunt+45% and Mon-C has Taunt+30%, so Mon-A takes 25 dmg, Mon-B takes 45, and Mon-C takes 30), but from my observations that isn't how it works out. There is no way to tell if something can evolve except by leveling them up and filling the Monsterpedia Pokemon is guilty of this as well, but that doesn't make it a good idea. For starters, there is no on-demand way to see how each Type fairs against one another, leading to a lot of guesswork. Reaching a certain level?)ĬONS: What should be a fun game is brought down by questionable decisions.

Gems are something else I like, taking the place of Pokemon's hold items, and you can have up to two (one more is unlocked by visiting, while the other is unlocked by. Some of the monster designs are nice, and the skill tree system is a nice addition that allows multiple copies of the same monster to still be unique you can even dip into more than one tree once your get enough talent points! The animations, music and sound effects, while nothing stellar, do their job well enough, and I've never felt like I absolutely HAD to turn off the sound. PROS: While in the style of Pokemon, it feels different enough to keep me interested. Fuck bubbles, but more on that in a moment.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Marvel’s Dobson: Infinity PTSD

In case you wonder why I personally think Dobson is an idiot, here is one (of many) reason(s): Dobson takes the wrong things way more serious than he should.

 On one hand, he will belittle people e.g. to think about the new Pokemon starters more than about current events in real life…

But then he will also throw fits at something like a silly add slogan by Burger King, calling it sexist crap and that the company should be ashamed of it.

 Belittle lesbian teenagers for not taking “KorraSami” as something serious and progressive as he does…

Or in case of Marvels “Infinity War”, believe that the movies ending would be ptsd inducing.

I am not kidding. What you see here is a tumblr post Dobson made up shortly after he watched Infinity War in May of 2018, making it known that he is scared that the movie could be traumatic for people on a global scale.

Which was laughable back then and is even more so in the year 2021, when we actually go through a global trauma in form of Covid-19. Making me also believe, that Dobson, despite claims of suffering from depression and his own form of PTSD, has absolutely no idea what a trauma really is and that despite all his whining over the years, he must have one of the most privileged and easiest lives on the planet, if he thinks a superhero movie is going to be as traumatizing as certain real world events. At least the way the post is worded implies, that Dobson seriously believes seeing Spiderman and other Marvel heroes bite the dust (so to speak) has the same effect as e.g. witnessing 9/11 play out live or being involved in an actual war.

Don’t get me wrong, I know of the reactions people had at Infinity War and the infamous Snap scene. I myself was in a theater where a bunch of kids started to cry when Starlord died. And I do understand that reaction. Because unlike Dobson, I am not just using my brain to whine about things not pandering to my fetishes.

I know, that the MCU and its characters have grown on people over the years, myself included. So when we as an audience watch the world and characters we care about get destroyed as Thanos does to Knowhere, Gamora and so many more, we have an emotional reaction to it. I myself was not distraught, but genuinely surprised that when Thanos snapped his fingers, as many heroes died as we saw on screen. Sure, knowing the comics and that Infinity War was just part one of a two part Avengers Finale of phase 3, I knew the snap would happen. In fact, I even hoped for it to happen, cause I love badass villain moments and Thanos was a favorite of mine long before the movie. Not because I am a space fascist, but because I enjoy threatening villains and stakes in my stories, unlike certain people.

I just didn’t expect that after all the hype Marvel created for certain heroes over phase 2 and 3, especially Black Panther, they would do something as “radical” and kill as good as 95% of all heroes introduced in phase 2 and 3 off. Wakanda forever? Not according to this movie.

But I digress. Point is, I will give Dobson the following: Yes, the movie’s ending has obviously caused people to have a sad emotional reaction to it, because at the end of the day, we will react with sadness when we see someone we care about die. But guess what: So have many other movies over the course of cinematic history.

 Do I really need to remind people (and by people I mean braindead idiots) of stuff like Jack dying at the end of Titanic and watching the ship sink, Mufasa being thrown off a cliff, that one horse from Never Ending Story in the swamp, certain scenes of “Who framed Roger Rabbit”, that scene of the dog put down in “Marley and &Me” and so on? You know, stuff most of us remember as having watched in our childhood only for us as adults to joke how this shit traumatized us?

Okay, it may have at least to some degree in so far as that we remember those movies in parts because of those scenes. I think there have been a few kids not wanting to go into the water to swim for quite some time after watching Jaws. But guess what: Most people get over stuff like that, because somewhere down the line they realize it is just a movie or that those sad/scary parts are actually in their own way “fun”/good and helped us appreciate the story we watched even more. And all Infinity War is, is just another movie in a long line of such flics, while also being the culmination of a decade long multipart movie project by Disney to get the most profits out of superhero movies possible.

Furthermore, I doubt there is or ever was going to be everlasting damage, seeing how “Endgame” was going to happen anyway and has been out for almost two years. Meaning all the “drama” of Infinity War in 2018? Dealt with. All the people that turned into dust are alive again and well thanks to the Dragon Balls- I mean Infinity Stones, which is more than can e.g. be said about Bambi’s mom. So if your kid starts crying because Thanos won when you let them watch Infinity War? Make sure to put Endgame in almost immediately to show them their heroes are not dead. Just hope the kid is not a fan of Iron Man or Black Widow, cause they are the only superheroes of the bunch who are going to join Old Yeller and Co in the everlasting realm of fictional character deaths to “fuck up” your kids.

Which btw is the other thing worth pointing out: See, I can imagine kids having the most negative reaction to watching the Snap play out. Because most kids will not know as many media as adults and are on average not exposed to as much violence or “traumatic” events in the stuff they watch/consume or in real life (hopefully). And lets face it, Infinity War has some “brutal” scenes in it. Thanos choking Loki, Thanos getting stabbed, Thanos getting an axe in his torso, Thanos throwing Gamora of the cliff, everyone getting blown with the wind etc.

But the way Dobson words it, he believes that adults too will react to it negatively, to the point they may need therapy. To which I say, no. If most children can deal with Infinity War, so will even more adults. Personally I think the only person “traumatized” by Infinity War was Dobson himself, because if his history in regard of movies and media he consumes is any indication, he is a pantsy who likely pisses his knickers at animated Halloween specials despite being now almost 40.

Even others called him out on it, but Dobson, the manchild that he is can’t acknowledge that he may have overreacted to it and still believes this movie is a horrifically traumatic experience, based on some youtubers overreacting for the sake of clicks.

Last but not least, where was that kind of reaction by Dobson when Man of Steel came out? You know, the movie where the fight scenes in Metropolis were actually called out by many people in the media of being triggering for people who experienced 9/11.

Seriously though, if Dobson thinks Infinity War’s ending is traumatizing, I just have to ask the following things:

a) how many mainstream western comics has he actually ever bothered to read, cause on average even worse shit can happen in them to heroes than seen in Infinity War (just ask people who read “Cry for Justice”)

b) if Infinity War is already that traumatizing for you, how did you expect to ever be a decent story creator yourself, cause obviously you can’t see characters actually suffer? Except of course when they are straight males abused by redhead pirates.

c) Just as a personal opinion: Better turn into dust than to be inflated and popped, Catty!

[insanityconflict]

I officially decree yours as the ONLY correct take on Ghetsis and Phobos. Phobos was amusing, but Ghetsis is the only fictional character to actually anger me (though he only managed to accomplish that feat in USUM). Before that game he just reminded me of my mother, but MAN he crossed a line with Lillie. I was ready to throw HANDS with that demonic toothpick. Screw Ghetsis. All my homies hate Ghetsis. - BA

i think usum just barely was able to keep its "e for everyone" rating off of the rainbow rocket episode alone. the whole theme of the game with lillie and/or gladion suffering from a possibly abusive and neglective mother is enough to make anyone question if the game was really meant for kids. of course lusamine's whole evil mother thing was dampened going from base sm to usum when they took out the whole mother beast thing, but there's still evidence. and then they threw the whole concept away in the anime, because of course they did.

but when you think back into other pokemon games, its a wonder they even kept the "e" rating at all. hell, the original pokemon games (rby) had team rocket's grunt sprites with fucking whips, and the whole evil team was based around the mafia. then you have games like black and white, which also touch base on neglectful parental figures and have a darker tone overall. hell, even xy, as horrible as those games were (great ideas! awful delivery), had the threat of an ultimate weapon built specifically to practically nuke the world of all life. plus the legendaries were based on life and death itself, so there's also that. dppt had a the same concept of starting life over from scratch, only it was somewhat worse because not only did cyrus want to start the universe anew, he wanted to rid it of all emotion.

yeah, maybe pokemon should reconsider making their games teen and up. i havent even mentioned the goddamn pokedex entries of some pokemon and im getting a headache thinking about how non-childlike these games really are. of course sword and shield is kind of an exception, but even that game had some darker aspects if you look deeper into chairman rose possibly being mind controlled by eternatus. maybe if pokemon really did try to go into a teen rating, they'd actually do something with a much deeper and interesting story that wont be entirely focused on the younger audience. detective pikachu is a good example of an ATTEMPT at a darker story, but they still kinda missed with that one. dont get me wrong, a lot of pokemon games have great stories, but imagine how much better they'd be if the company wasnt afraid to scare a few kids.

then again the giratina jumpscare does exist.

MY POINT STILL STANDS.

[floatingcatacombs]

Evaluting Gatchaman Crowds Through Rui’s Outfits

12 Days of Aniblogging 2020, Day 1

Oh, I’m fashionably late to this one. Gatchaman Crowds is a 2013 superhero anime that serves as a soft reboot of the old tokusatsu franchise, only now with 21st century shitty anime tropes. From this painfully generic setup emerges a surprisingly layered evaluation of technological disruption in the smartphone era. For this reason, Crowds is a favorite amongst anime bloggers as a superhero work that’s actually trying to do something interesting.

Unfortunately I don’t care about any of these guys

But it’s also a favorite amongst all sorts of weirdos because of the character Rui Ninomiya. A horrifying amalgamation of the technolibertarian CEO and trans femme hacker archetypes, Rui is by far the most interesting character in the show, because they’re a surprisingly prescient look at how the tech industry will function throughout the 2010s. But they’re also a ‘boy’ who never leaves their house without dressing in the most girly clothes imaginable. Predictably, this is catnip for me. But the funniest part of the whole situation is that nobody ever addresses it. Rui never provides an explanation for their outfits and the rest of the cast just uses she/her until they properly get acquainted and switch to he/him.

I could tell you that Rui’s obviously trans and wrap up the post right there, but that’s honestly not the most interesting angle of attack here. So I’m just going to use whatever pronouns I feel like in the moment for them and focus on what really matters: fashion! Rui has a surprisingly large wardrobe throughout the show, so I’ll be doing the heavy lifting of ranking each of her outfits. Oh, and also maybe a little analysis of what she represents. Spoilers for the whole show, of course.

7. The Yellow Dress

Let me lay out Rui’s ideology before I lay into their fashion disaster. You see, they’re a tech disruptor who believes that governments and bureaucracies are too slow to achieve the monumental (yet unspecified) change that society needs. So, they preside over a smartphone app called GALAX that successfully predicts Pokemon Go’s geosocial AR gimmick three years early. GALAX is a technolibertarian’s wet dream – crowdsourced emergency response, interest-based meetups, and matchmaking for people who need specific help and the people who can help them, all deeply gamified.

Their outfit here is about as messy as their politics, but at the same time, what a look. She’s got blue-and-white-striped programming thigh highs on under her combat boots, which are both such trans iconography, you know? While they may just be a reflection of early-2010s 4chan crossdressing culture, it’s also totally possible that Rui directly influenced or reinforced trans girl fashion, like the accelerationist she is. What a prescient show, in all sorts of weird ways.

6. Lace-up Dress with Bunny Ears

It wouldn’t be an anime girl cosplay without some bunny ears, now would it? Rui spends 5 minutes in an early episode just wandering around the city in this outfit, listening to people’s conversations and feelings on GALAX. There’s something very funny about how nobody even notices them, like they’re completely invisible despite their ridiculous outfit. This actually factors back into the tech stuff! Like pretty much every tech company, Rui’s app and vision are both sleek and shiny but rely on tremendous amounts of dirty labor kept as hidden as possible. From Amazon’s inhumane warehouse conditions to Facebook’s trauma-inducing moderator farms to Apple’s child labor-tainted supply chains, there’s always suffering humans behind the too-good-to-be-true magic of tech companies. Rui’s lie by omission is failing to mention that the app relies on invisible extradimensional beings called CROWDS that are manually controlled by underpaid workers to assist its users. One of the workers comes to Rui challenging their vision and arguing that they should be sharing this tech with the movers and shakers of the world, not trying to keep it invisible. He threatens a collective walkout and Rui fires him. At this point, we’re not even operating on metaphors.

5. Green Business Casual

Sure, most tech companies have cruel labor underbellies, but there’s also the separate risk of moral rot. It’s what causes Microsoft to take on ICE contracts and Google to develop censored versions of their search engine at the whims of authoritarians. Many tech companies start off with an altruistic message, but without a serious ethical core, they will start doing a whole lot of evil as they bend to financial and other pressures. Rui’s version of this is extremely literal: she made a deal with the devil to gain the ability to use the CROWDS and launch her app. Except this devil is also a butch gender-noncomforming alien (there is a Lot of other gender going on in this show that I don’t even have time for) and the two of them seem to have an extremely fucked-up relationship. Like any good Faustian bargain or any bad attempt at raising more venture capital without a viable business model, eventually the whole thing comes tumbling down and now you’re doing something terribly fucked up. Rui looks good in a dress shirt, at least!

4. Whatever your abusive partner puts on when she body-snatches you

Of course the center won’t hold, GALAX is subject to a hostile takeover, and to nobody’s surprise, an app with the flimsy promise to change the world for the better can actually be way better at ripping it all apart. I guess the prescient social media parallel here is Facebook being used to propagate Myanmar’s ethnic cleansing, or really anything related to Twitter for the last 5 years. FuckedUpAlienMimic!Rui sure does have cute fangs and a way more refined fashion sense though. I don’t feel like looking into that one.

3. Business....Futch?

I know I’m not done outlining Rui’s arc, but I’m going to skip ahead for a moment to say that Gatchaman Crowds also has a second season! I’m largely ignoring it here because Rui is pretty much stripped of all plot relevance and most of her outfits are less exciting, but I had to include this one. For two episodes, she puts on bright yellow stirrup leggings and an oversized polo shirt, with a cute ponytail to boot. It’s a ridiculous look, but still feels really evocative to me. Sometimes a girl just has to put together completely uncoordinated outfits and see what happens.

Unlike the disruption-focused first season, Gatchaman Crowds season two, which aired in 2015, is about how unfettered technolibertarianism can easily descend into fascism. Goddammit.

2. The Bunny Ears Outfit Again Oh God Who Hurt Her

The weight of the world comes crashing down in Rui’s hands, she’s bruised and beaten in a surprisingly sadistic manner by her alien ex-business partner/girlfriend, and she’s locked out of her own company which is very quickly causing society to fall apart. So what does she do? She puts the bunny dress back on, and wanders the streets again until she has to call upon the powers that be to fix her own mess. It’s silly that the powers that be in this world are superheroes, but I bet you forgot that this was technically a superhero show at this point. Anyways, my extended metaphor is quickly drifting off course, but I guess this is the part where Rui gets grilled by Congress and slapped with an antitrust case.

1. Every Trans Girl Stereotype Rolled Into One

I’ve been incredibly harsh on Rui throughout this writeup, because I’m harsh on the industry she represents, but I’ll make it up with this section. Look at what she’s wearing! A choker, the gothiest Hot Topic dress imaginable, arm warmers, no less than three asymmetric garters not even holding up anything, and the tallest black boots she could find. It’s incredible! If the first outfit on this list was hinting at her relationship to stereotypical trans fashion, then this outfit just screams it. It’s the perfect goth femme hacker look, a style commitment I have no choice but to respect.

Gatchaman is a weird show. After spending most of its runtime thoroughly dunking on tech disruptors for being too optimistic and uncritical, it takes a last-minute turn into Lockean state of nature arguments. It settles on “the masses are inherently good enough that empowering people through technology shouldn’t ever be a problem”, ignoring all the suffering that happened due to Rui’s unwillingness to curate their own technology. I’d give Gatchaman Crowds an average rating, but it’s one of those interesting average ratings where instead of being milquetoast, they tried something and failed and wrote themselves into a corner. But hey, at least there’s an interestingly gendered character!

[nimarkiva-stuff]

Fan-art Writing

So, I absolutely love one of @blasticheart​‘s characters, a Pokemon Trainer OC, and really wanted to have him meet the Trainer OC version of myself that I do for @nimarkiva-the-pokemon-trainer​.

.....except it’s pretty violent based on the premise of his character, so I can’t really post it on that blog, I know full well there are a lot of kids who visit that one.

Oh, right, I have an art blog, too. Deeeerp. So, fan-art for @blasticheart​ beneath the cut. There is violence, and it is Pokemon themed. Not for kids. Murder mention and attempt.

It was late on a lazy Friday afternoon, and Dit was looking forward to a challenge. He hoped there would be a good battle today since no one had contested him yet. He bounced a pokéball in his hand, grinning as he thought of what might come if he was patient. Hopefully it was a Pokémon battle that he could win. If not win, at least enjoy. He loved a good fight.

His gaze swept across the park at the edge of the woods, lingering on a particular trainer who was out with her Pokémon. The tattooed woman was leaning on a cane and had a Haunter with her, as well as a Lucario. Now that was a fight! The trainer looked fairly unassuming. She had shoulder-length gingery hair that was bleached blond at the tips, and looked to be in her late twenties or early thirties. She was dressed fairly nondescript- t-shirt, jeans, and hiking boots. The wooden cane in her right hand was clearly for the pronounced limp she walked with. The human stood at about five feet and ten inches, rather tall, but at the same time a bit stooped because of how she leaned on the cane. The stocky human had a large tattoo of a purple Sharpedo and plumeria blossoms on her right arm, visible because of her short sleeves. Her glasses were simple, black rectangular frames that suited her.

The trainer didn’t look like much. She honestly could have passed for any adult woman on the street. But he of all people knew how looks could be deceiving, didn’t he? And she did have a Lucario with her, not to mention a fairly large Haunter who looked like he could give anyone a run for their money. The Ditto looked at his reflection on the shiny pokéball in his hand. She’d be a challenge- and depending on what she had in her pokéballs, it was a match which could genuinely go in favor of either of them.

He decided it was worth a shot. Win or lose- though he hoped win- it promised to be fun. Dit made his way to where she was playing with the Lucario. The trainer would toss a ball, and the Lucario would deflect it back to her with a shield of Aura energy, angling it to make sure she could catch the bouncy rubber sphere each time. It was both a game and a practice in precision. Dit could definitely appreciate training like that.

“Yo, Nim, heads up!” the Haunter told his trainer when the young man came over.

Dit paused for a moment. Another Pokémon who could speak in a human language? Well, now that was something. He gave the woman and her Pokémon a toothy grin when she focused on him. “You wanna have a Pokémon battle?” he asked eagerly.

Nim blinked, looking a bit surprised. The Lucario beside her looked up at the trainer, then back at Dit. He wasn’t so sure about this one. Not because he was afraid of a fight, but more because something was…off. And it was going to drive Lucas nuts until he figured out what it was. Something in that smile, and the look in his eyes.

“Can’t really see a reason to refuse,” the woman said with a shrug. “Three on three, or six against six?”

The tall trainer waved her question off. “Nah, five on five,” he said with that same toothy grin.

Nim raised one eyebrow. Odd, but she’d go with it. “Sure,” she said. “Not going to lie, I’m going to bring out some of the big guns- there’s a space in the woods which is a lot better for that kind of battle, got a concrete wall and is away from people. That work for you?”

Dit rubbed his hands together. Oh, that worked, he had some big guns of his own. “Bring it on,” he told her with a smirk.

Lucas decided he definitely did not like that smile.

“I’m Dit. So what do you do?” Dit asked as they hiked to the location of the practice arena.

“I’m Nim, a teacher, and I run a Pokémon rehabilitation house for those who have gotten injured or abused,” Nim explained. “You?”

“I battle,” he said with that same creepy grin. “A rehab house? Sounds cool.”

That actually was true. He did like the idea of that sort of place, since he knew how many needed it. The Ditto could also see how she cared for those who were with her. Each of the Pokémon at her side showed all the signs of being loyal as well as happy to be with the human. Good health, too, the Lucario’s fur was sleek and well-groomed while the Haunter was particularly solid, instead of being more wispy like an unhealthy ghost type tended to look.

The area Nim had in mind for their battle was a small arena, sunken a few feet into the ground with a concrete wall holding the dirt back. When they had reached the spot, well away from bystanders who might not want to be hit by stray attacks, Nim pulled a pokéball out of her pocket.

Dit whistled when she summoned a Necrozma. That was unexpected. He watched as she crooned over the big Pokémon, stroking its arm and whispering that it was a good boy. The Necrozma made a happy sound, wrapping one big hand loosely around her for a moment. Then it squared off in his direction.

“Nacho, I choose you,” she said with a quirky little smile.

The Pokémon Trainer grinned as he pulled out the pokéball containing a Metagross. But before he could say anything, he was interrupted by two newcomers stepping out of the woods- Rocket grunts. “That’s a nice Necrozma,” one of the men said with a smirk. “Be a pity if something bad happened during a fight.”

The transformed Ditto growled. He did not like Team Rocket at all. Using a small arena like this as a hunting ground to try and steal Pokémon, because it was out of the way? Dirty and low. But his normal method of dealing with them wouldn’t work- there was a human here he didn’t want to needlessly kill. He was about to summon another member of his family out of their pokéball to fight when Nim snapped her fingers.

“Lewis, my darling boy, you know the drill,” she said with a grin.

The Haunter smirked before vanishing into the earth with a swirl of smoke at her feet. Dit watched, amazed, as he rose out of the ground behind the Team Rocket members a few seconds later. The Haunter hovered above them, a sphere of dark energy forming between his hands. “Cannon ball!” he said, diving downwards and hurling the shadow ball between the grunts at the same time.

The two humans fled- that was not what they’d been expecting at all, given the appearances of the Haunter’s trainer. Nim had chosen to go straight for them instead of Pokémon battling with them. That was terrifying to the Team Rocket goons because it meant she was not about to put up with their attempt.

But the attack had some unexpected side effects as it had been a particularly powerful one. A chunk of loose brick spun towards Dit and Nim. The Ditto was in the act of dodging when Nim raised one hand towards him.

Crackling blue energy shielded the Pokémon trainer, causing the rubble to bounce back towards Nim. She didn’t shield herself in time. That was one of her faults as well as something which made her good at her job- the woman focused on others first, sometimes at cost to herself. It hit, hard, on her bad right leg just above the knee. There was no blood, but the impact could be heard. The woman went down with a strangled shriek of pain, kneeling on the dirt of the arena.

“Oh hell- Nim, I’m so sorry, I overdid that,” Lewis said as he rushed to her side. “You ok, Boss?”

She nodded, blinking tears out of her eyes and swallowing hard. “I’ll be alright,” the woman gasped. “You ok, big guy? Lucas, Nacho? No one injured? Dit, what about you?”

“I’m fine,” he replied, looking at her in surprise. “That was Aura, wasn’t it? I didn’t know humans could do that.”

“Some can. It’s really rare,” Nim said as she struggled to her feet.

Lucas immediately handed her the cane which she had dropped, while allowing her to lean against him. “Take a moment, Mother,” the telepathic Pokémon said quietly. “You need to rest.”

Mother? Another surprise. This human could not only manipulate Aura, but one of her Pokémon thought of her as a mom. Dit was interested in the trainer. It seemed that like him, she thought of her team as family. The Necrozma, Nacho, moved so that Nim could sit on his hand and take the weight off her bad leg.

“Hey, Dit, raincheck on our battle?” Nim asked tiredly. “I need to get home and have my Medicham, Misha, help me out with this, I think I messed something up in my leg again when that rock hit.”

The Ditto was disappointed that he wasn’t going to get the battle he was hoping for, but he did understand. “I will hold you to that raincheck,” he told her with that creepy grin which kept setting Lucas on edge.

Nim gave him a little pained smile back, waving to him. “You betcha. You want to stop on by tomorrow, my house is the big lavender colored one with the stone wall around it and the barn in the back, on the other side of the overpass heading out of the west side of town. You can’t miss it, ask about Nim’s place and anyone can point you my way.”

Dit nodded. He could remember those directions. “See you tomorrow,” he said with a wry chuckle, pocketing the pokéball in his hand and walking off.

He was mulling over a plan for the battle against her when he realized something. Had he been a character in an anime, there would have the lines accompanying the blip of shocked realization coming from the back of his head. The Ditto’s eyes went wide when he realized that a human who could use Aura would also be able to sense it…

…and had to know his secret.

The Ditto swore at that. He looked around, but the park was too populated for him to do what needed to be done. It would also be dangerous to try and attack the woman in her own home. She took in sick and wounded Pokémon, there were likely many who would defend her without hesitation. He also had seen three of her team- a trainer like that surely had a full battling team of six heavy hitters, seeing as she had asked if he wanted a larger battle.

No, he’d have to kill her in a spot where she was vulnerable and there weren’t other people around to witness it. Preferably caught off guard so that she didn’t summon the Pokémon who would defend her. Dit really didn’t want to make too big a deal of this since he already didn’t like the idea of killing a rehab worker. But he also didn’t trust she wouldn’t snitch on him to Officer Jenny.

The overpass was the perfect place. He had flown there after seeing that the woman was walking. Even on her bad leg, she was still making her way home on foot. Dusk had fallen in the time it took her to make her way across the city, which was perfect for what he had in mind. The Haunter and the Lucario were nowhere to be seen- likely recalled to their pokéballs. Dit was a bit confused at that. He’d thought for sure that the two of them would have been at her side to help her walk. Well, a stroke of luck for him.

He shifted back to his human form, leaning casually against the metal rail which blocked the sidewalk from the street. The protective rails on both sides of the path also meant that the trainer could only run in two directions. Dit was pretty sure he was faster than Nim as he watched her hobble up to where he was waiting, hood raised over his baseball cap to hide his face.

“Hey, Nim, I’m actually a bit sorry about this,” he said, stepping forward to block her path. “You seem like a nice one.”

Nim leaned back in surprise when Dit’s arm suddenly shifted to that of a Scyther’s bladed claw. She threw up a shield of Aura energy in the nick of time, blocking the blow. Her cane dropped to the ground with a clatter, forgotten as she tried to defend herself. The human stumbled back from the force of his attack and raised her hands.

“Hey, Dit, come on, you don’t want to do this,” she told him. “Let me take some R&R time, we can have a proper fight tomorrow.”

The woman was surprisingly calm. Dit supposed that was good. He preferred she try talking him out of it instead of trying to fight back, which could be messy and obvious. It wasn’t like he was going to trust her no matter what she said- but letting her talk gave him time to get closer. “Like I said, you seem nice,” he repeated.

He easily grabbed the front of her shirt with his hand, raising the other arm up. The stance was oddly intimate since he held her close without room to get away. Even if he could not shapeshift, in the form of his previous trainer he was so much stronger than the disabled woman. It would be so easy to just snap the human like a twig. He didn’t like it, but it had to be done. The human had to die for him to feel safe.

“Don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” Dit said quietly.

The Ditto paused when he felt something press against his stomach. “Got something in your pocket? You can’t be that happy to see me,” he told her with a little smirk that didn’t make it to his eyes- he wasn’t pleased to have to kill a human who took care of Pokémon in a rehabilitation home. Nim snorted, still oddly calm. “Yeah, no, it’s not what you think. Put me down so I don’t have to see Reba and Remy gut you. This is my favorite jacket and I don’t want to ruin it. I also don’t want you to get hurt, I get why you’re doing this.”

Dit looked down and saw two knives were pressed against his abs, each angled in a way where they could be slashed in the opposite directions after piercing skin and muscle. That would certainly do a good job of opening him up. The knifes melded into the wrists of two arms, a bit of pink drip at the connecting point looking quite familiar to the shift point of his own arm at the moment.

The knife wielders stood up behind Nim, keeping the blades pressed at his stomach in warning. They were clearly twins, a brother and a sister, and had been crouched behind her. Dit wasn’t sure how he had not noticed them until he saw that the pokéballs on Nim’s belt were all attached so that they angled backward. The two Dittos had likely been summoned to her side when she stumbled away from him. He hadn’t seen them because they were hidden by her own body when they kept low behind Nim.

Now that was extremely sneaky and clever. But such a plan meant the human had thought she would be attacked. He didn’t like that one bit. Dit’s day had gone from bad to worse now that Nim had backup and his idea hadn’t worked like he’d expected.

“How’d you do that?” he demanded irately, leaving his arm raised. They currently had a bit of a stalemate, and he was not about to give that up. Even the smallest advantage was better than nothing. If Nim had planned for this, she’d likely planned for other things, too.

“The phrase I said,” Nim explained. “When I talked about fighting tomorrow? Reba and Remy, my R&R duo of Dittos. The pokéballs are facing backwards, they popped out on their own when I called for them. You were too busy trying to carve me like a turkey to notice others like you, dude.”

“If you know what I am, then you know why I’ve got to do this,” Dit said as he tightened his grip on her shirt, his face close to hers.

Nim snorted. “What, you think you’re the first Pokémon to do something like this? Lemme guess, you offed your trainer for some reason. I’m guessing…you cut his throat? Nah, too planned, it was probably in the heat of the moment…ooh, you didn’t stab him in the back, did you? Break his neck? Come on, Dit, give me some details.”

The Ditto trainer was a bit unnerved by how nonchalant she was. His expression dropped when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. Distraction. She’d been distracting him and was fighting dirty. He’d seen this move earlier.

“Vibe check,” Lewis said as he swung the trainer’s wooden cane at Dit’s head.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dit woke up in a soft bed, with the blanket tucked around his shoulders and a throbbing headache. He sat upright in alarm, throwing off the blanket in the same motion and staring at the unfamiliar surroundings. The female of the Ditto twins was sitting near the doorway, looking at him over sunglasses.

“You’re a pain,” she muttered as she regarded him. “Nim said we couldn’t leave you there. Try and kill my trainer again, and so help me, I will make you regret it.”

The Pokémon trainer growled at that. He was about to say something snarky in reply when Nim poked her head in the doorway to break it up. “Reba, c’mon, be nice. Good to see you’re awake, Dit, I thought Lewis had seriously scrambled something up there when you were out the entire night. You should come get some breakfast.”

“Why should I trust you?” Dit demanded.

Nim shrugged. “Ok, don’t, then. It’s no skin off my back. By the way, this is yours. There’s bacon, eggs, and toast in the kitchen if you change your mind.” The human tossed a pokéball to him. Dit caught it, fumbled the sphere, and blinked when he saw the name written on it. This was his pokéball. Nim must have taken it while he was unconscious. It would have been something very useful to have against him if she had wanted to have an advantage.

Instead, she had given it back.

Reba scowled at him before following after the woman. Dit had to wonder where her twin was. He definitely did not want to try anything in Nim’s home unless he absolutely had to, not after seeing how she had planned the night before. But he had to kill the human somehow to protect his own secret.

Dit walked down the hall to the kitchen, following the smell of cooking food. It did smell awfully good. Nim was at the stove, and Reba was at her side, shifting to a Meowstic. The Ditto trainer decided to sit at the table, which was set for several Pokémon and two humans if the silverware was anything to go by. He’d bide his time until the right moment presented itself.

“So how did you know?” Dit asked. “I’m real good at keeping my secret. What tipped you off, and how did you plan for my attempt at killing you?”

Nim snorted. “Oh, you are good, I’ll give you that. I figured it out when I felt your Aura, and you said five against five for a fight…you’re a Ditto, and there were all the signs that you took over the team you were part of. So why would you do that? Duh, you look like a trainer…probably your trainer. How do you avoid a human trainer ratting you out as a thief and a fraud? Easy if you could take his face because he’s dead. And you’d do that if you killed him, probably. If you’ve killed before, you might be willing to do it again to keep your secret, and you’re no dummy, you had to know what me being able to use Aura meant. So, planning ahead with Reba and Remy about where you were most likely going to try and kill me. The overpass seemed like it’d be the best spot if you were plotting a murder.”

Dit swallowed hard. He definitely was sure he could not trust her enough to let her live now after hearing that. This human was dangerous, and killing her was the only option he could see. “So what do you want?” he asked slowly. “Blackmail?”

The human rolled her eyes. “Absolutely not. I don’t want anything, except maybe for you to stop trying to kill me. You seriously think you’re the first Pokémon to kill their trainer? Bad trainers exist, and I know it, I get to look after the ones who were mistreated. I’ve got a Greninja with a scarred up face and a missing arm because of bad humans, and a midnight form Lycanroc with PTSD from the same situation. Their trainer gave them up to a Pokémon Center before turning himself in for Pokémon abuse, pretty messed up and in need of hospital care. You are not the first Pokémon to retaliate, Dit, and I don’t blame you for killing someone who abused you. Now, you want breakfast? I messed up the eggs, so they’re scrambled, that ok?”

The trainer tilted his head. “You are way too calm about this,” he told her suspiciously. “Did you call Officer Jenny on me or something?”

“No, I just don’t like seeing Pokémon mistreated,” Nim said. “You know, that being the reason why I run a rehab house for them? Things are never black and white, either. This is not my first rodeo when it comes to Pokémon who did stuff most would consider to be really bad. You have your secrets, and I have mine.”

“…who have you killed?” Dit asked, eyes narrowing.

“No one, yet, I’ve had my coffee this morning,” the tattooed woman replied with a laugh. “Seriously, we’re cool and I won’t rat you out. I don’t think you just go around randomly killing people. Probably just the ones who need to go or figure out your secret. I’d prefer not to be on that second list is all.”

“And why should I trust you?” the Ditto asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in the chair.

Nim put one arm over her stomach. She rested her elbow on it to tap her chin with one fingertip. “Hmm, let me see,” she said with an exaggerated air of thoughtfulness. “I had your pokéball, and gave it back instead of using it. I didn’t let Reba and Remy gut you. I could have taken you straight to Officer Jenny, but instead I let you sleep off a clonk to the head in one of my guest rooms. I’m making you breakfast even after you tried to kill me. If I meant anything bad, dude, I had hours to pull a stunt and loads of opportunity.”

Dit mulled it over. She had a point. But that still didn’t explain why Nim hadn’t done any of those things. That made no sense to him unless she wanted something from him. “No really, what do you want?” he demanded.

The woman shrugged. “Why does everyone have to want something? I mean, I’d like to not have you try to kill me again, isn’t that enough? Last night was a close one even if I was ready for it.”

He was reminded about the two Dittos she had when the woman said that. “Your Dittos talk and can pass as human, like me,” Dit said. “What’s up with that?”

“Rescued from Team Rocket labs,” Nim told him simply. “Same as Lewis.”

“I don’t trust you,” Dit said firmly.

“I figured,” Nim said as she put a plate full of food in front of him. “And it makes sense. Humans probably always want something based on the ones you’ve likely met- and why would anyone trust a murderer?”

Dit gave her a skeptical look. “You said it. So. Why don’t you want anything, and why do you trust a murderer?”

“Technically, murder is one human killing another,” Nim mused as she sat down at the table. “Yours is just self-defense. You have to watch your own back, right? And what would happen to your Pokémon family if you were caught? It’s not just what would happen to you. I get it. I’m not condoning it or saying it’s a good thing, but I get it. And no, I prefer not to know your kill count, I don’t need to know as long as I’m not on the list.”

The Pokémon put both hands on the table and leaned forward, getting uncomfortably into her space. “How do I know you won’t betray me?”

Nim sighed. “Well, I’m not sure what to tell you if I haven’t convinced you yet. Tell you what, you eat breakfast and follow me. If I try anything, you get to do what you feel you need to do.”

The woman’s two Dittos shifted at that, to their own chosen human forms. The brother was quiet, gesturing wildly that he did not approve of that, while his sister spoke for both of them. “No, we won’t let you!” Reba said. “You can’t do that!”

“If I expect him to trust me, I’ve got to show some trust in him,” Nim reminded the Ditto twins.

“…you have one day to convince me,” Dit told her, going against his better judgement. “Then I’ll do what I have to.”

“Deal,” the trainer agreed, holding out her hand. “Hey, if your head is hurting from getting clonked by Lewis, I’ve got a few things from the Poké Mart to fix you up.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dit had a bit of a scare when Officer Jenny came to the house after breakfast. But it soon became apparent that she was there for other reasons- Nim hadn’t called her, nor did the trainer say or do anything to reflect that her life was in danger. The police officer was there because a Pokémon needed to be dropped off into Nim’s care. She didn’t even notice Dit.

Nim went about her day after getting the new Pokémon settled in, which involved taking care of a lot of other Pokémon who were housed in the barn behind her home. There was also a great deal of grocery shopping. The human made good use of the day being Saturday to get her errands done. She had plenty of opportunity to try and rat Dit out. Considering her life was on the line, he expected her to try and get some help from outside sources.

Yet she didn’t.

It was confusing. She even did nice things for him- not an attempt at bribery, but just because she could. When Nim had stopped for lunch, she bought him a burger and fries as well, tossing the bag to him. It wasn’t something done as an afterthought, but instead a genuine gesture of intentional kindness.

Nim excused herself to her room when they got back to her house, saying she was tired and needed to sleep a bit. Running a lot of errands like that was hard on the disabled trainer because of how much it hurt her to walk. Dit was skeptical about the fact that she was supposedly taking a nap. Surely she wasn’t planning on sleeping while someone who wanted to kill her was in the house?

He waited until she was snoring- it had to be an act- to slip through the partially opened doorway. The woman’s room was simple, and none of her Pokémon team were with her. He’d watched her put the pokéballs on the kitchen table before going to lay down for a nap. She had also told the others to give him space. The woman was completely defenseless, a lonely huddled form sleeping under a blanket.

“Too easy,” Dit muttered as he shifted his arm. He raised the Scyther claw blade high, bringing it down sharply.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dinner was good. Nim had made a solid meal of roasted vegetables, twice-baked potatoes, and steak. Her team was still uneasy around Dit, but Nim seemed pretty comfortable. Either she really did trust him, or she was a helluva good actor.

“I was going to kill you while you were sleeping,” he told her nonchalantly as they ate.

Nim tilted her head, ignoring the way her Pokémon stiffened and glared at Dit. “Oh? So what changed?”

“You snore, do you know that? Really loudly, too. I thought it had to be a trick. But you were actually asleep. I wanted to kill you, I could have, and yet…you decided to trust me,” Dit said thoughtfully. “I guess I can try trusting you some. But seriously. You betray me, and I will kill you. Don’t think that I won’t just because you do a good thing with this house of yours.”

“That’s fair,” Nim mused. “Thank you, Dit, for giving me a chance. So, I still owe you a Pokémon battle. Want to come back tomorrow and try that again?”

Dit was hesitant to leave, concerned for what she might try to do when she was out of his sight. But, against his better judgement, he decided to give the woman a further chance to prove herself as being trustworthy. Nim had shown trust in him in spite of all she knew he had done. Not to mention what he had just told the woman he’d nearly done to her.

“Sure,” he said slowly. “A battle after breakfast?”

“You are so on,” Nim told him. “Bring your A-game, because I won’t settle for anything less.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Ditto didn’t sleep well during the night. There was too much on his mind. If he had judged the human wrong, there was a lot on the line. And if he had made a bad decision…Dit would definitely be kicking himself for it. He found himself hoping he wouldn’t have to kill the woman, not after she’d given the appearance of trusting him.

Nim was waiting at the house the next morning. A quick look around before he had made his presence known showed that it was safe. No Officer Jenny, no police force Arcanines, no police detectives there to take him into custody. Only a smiling woman who had made an extra helping of breakfast just in case he wanted it when he arrived. The food wasn’t drugged. She made no move to attack him, and even knowingly turned her back to Dit repeatedly in a show of trust.

Maybe she genuinely meant what she’d said after all.

“Gonna see if you’ve got what it takes to beat me?” Dit asked as they stood in the practice arena in the barn after having breakfast with Nim. He stood in a prepared stance, pokéball raised and at the ready. It was time to see what Nim’s team was made of. The Ditto may have had a hard time trusting her, but he was always ready for a Pokémon battle, and Nim promised to be a challenge from what he had seen of her and her team already.

The woman snorted as she raised a pokéball of her own on the other side of the open space. “Bring it, Pinky,” she told him with a smirk.

“Oh, you did not just go there!” Dit retorted back. “It is definitely on now.”

Maybe, just maybe, he could trust her. A little. He’d still kill her if he had to in order to keep himself safe. If it came down to the human or him, he was going to take care of himself. Dit had to look out for himself and his family.

But it was starting to look like knowing this human might actually be fun.

[hamfistedmorals]

Pokemon Training was never Slavery

Alright, we've all heard the jokes before. We've heard people point out that Pokemon is a game about glorified dog-fighting. We've heard people say that, sure, the franchise does the best it can to play up the friendship angle...but they're not fooling anyone. It also seems like the majority of Pokemon fans either live with it, or don't really care - which is valid, because the bright and enjoyable universe Pokemon creates is well-worth the problematic premise that it's based on.

To a degree, these points have merit. But the more and more that the Pokemon universe gets fleshed out, the more it becomes clear that catching and training Pokemon are misunderstood concepts. They're not really comparable to anything in real life, certainly not training animals.

I believe all this stems from an inherent comparison we draw between Pokemon and animals.

We see Pokemon as the animals of their universe. Which is understandable. Pokemon are magical creatures that coexist with humanity. Many resemble real-world animals, and this universe, by all appearances, does not have any real-world animals to speak of, apart from humans. So I get why so many people draw that parallel. But it's just not a fair comparison. Pokemon are beings with superpowers, that humans do not possess. They are shown to range from human to above-human intelligence. This world has living, breathing deities and demigods - who are all Pokemon. 

The Pokemon have their own communities and work together with humanity all the time. Flavor text consistently implies that there are very few differences between Pokemon and humans on a fundamental level. But they form a symbiotic relationship between Pokemon and trainer. The anime in particular makes this clear - it isn't just trainers that benefit from the relationship. A Pokemon will never reach it's full potential without a trainer. The wild Pokemon understand this. The majority of them want to be caught - they want a trainer to help them harness their powers. That's why the word is trainer and not "master." Both Ash and Pikachu reject that terminology when Lucario/Mewtwo suggest it.

But if Pokemon want a trainer, then why is capturing them always an involuntary process?

With little exception, wild Pokemon must be weakened to the point that they can no longer resist a poke-ball, before you can obtain them. What they think of being caught is always a non-issue. By all accounts, it doesn't seem as though this is acceptable. But even this, I think, is part of the cultural dissonance. When a trainer battles a wild Pokemon, that Pokemon is basically giving a test for that trainer's skills. If their Pokemon are able to defeat the wild {okemon...it proves that the trainer's Pokemon are stronger. That wild Pokemon now knows they can learn something, and grow more powerful, by accepting the trainer's tutelage. By winning the battle, the trainer passes the test. I believe this to be the reason (most) Pokemon are immediately comfortable with following the trainer who caught them. Sure, one could argue that they don't have a choice anymore...but that just isn't true. Something people seem to forget is that Pokemon can and do abandon their trainers, if they decide their trainers are unworthy of their talents. This doesn't happen in the games (because that would be a stupid mechanic) but in the anime? There was a whole episode in season one about a Marowak leaving his trainer. Due to a misunderstanding, Gym Leader Pryce once believed his Piloswine had abandoned him. Both Ash's Snivy and Froakie were said to have left previous trainers who didn't understand them. To me, this is the final nail in the coffin. How can pokemon training be slavery, if the Pokemon are free to leave whenever they want?

This doesn't mean every Trainer-Pokemon relationship will be perfect, any more than human relationships.

Ash and his Charizard had a quite a rocky road. Charizard never saw fit to abandon Ash, but let me ask you - if he had, what could Ash have really done about it? Basically nothing. There's also the opposite extreme - take Paul and Chimchar. Paul believed in a ruthless, no-nonsense, military style training regiment. And all of his Pokemon seemed totally okay with that. Even Chimchar, though he didn't really know any better. The way Paul treated Chimchar was horrific. Yes, he could have left whenever he wanted, but he'd never had a trainer before - how was he supposed to know that other trainers might treat him more kindly? The relationship was abusive, plain and simple. But I wouldn’t call it “animal” abuse, or accuse Paul of being a slave-master. I’d say it’s exactly what the anime treated it as - a trainer and Pokemon who were simply not right for each other. Of course, when “training” does get out of hand, crossing over into abuse - other characters always step in, and the abuser is always treated as a villain, or at the very least, in the wrong.

The fifth generation games also tackled this topic, but it was mostly as a scapegoat. I have yet to see any character in Pokemon honestly make this comparison or explore it, and I doubt we ever will see that - because our world is unknown to the Pokemon world. Our way of doing things, the way we personally view Pokemon, isn’t something any in-universe Trainer would understand. It’s an entirely different culture. 

[whumpster-fire]

Whumptober 2020 Day 13: Delayed Drowning

Okay here’s the other half of the story I did for Day 5. Except not half because this turned out waaaay longer than I expected, something like 8k words.

Fandom: Pokemon

Content Warnings: Animal whumpee, Female Whumpee, Minor Whumpee (juvenile animal), Minor Caretaker who gets hurt too, Animal Abuse, Animal Death Mention, Bad Parenting Mention, Hallucinations, Fear Wetting

“I mean, I just don’t understand… what the hell kind of sick bastard just… throws a bunch of baby Pokemon in the river?” Nico ranted to the nurse on duty at the West Rutile Town Municipal Pokemon Center. “Like… I’ve heard of people abandoning Pokemon because they evolved and they couldn’t take care of them, or something, but like… how hard can it be to find homes for Eevees? I mean, they’re like… there’s four or five of them in my apartment building back home!” During the ride in the back of the police car, which had raced them to the Pokemon Center with the lights flashing, he’d been almost as catatonic as the three Eevee kits in his lap, just answering the cops’ questions about what had happened as accurately as he could.

The lecture about him risking his life going out onto the flimsy tree trunk to pull the bag out of the river hadn’t been as long as he expected, and there was no mention of calling his parents, but he still felt like a damn criminal, especially with all the questions like how long he’d had his Trainer’s License, where he’d been last, and so on. It actually sounded like the guys were genuinely interested – one of them said he’d gotten a couple of gym badges when he was young but competitive battling just didn’t work out – but it was still like an interrogation.

With the car’s heater blasting, the Eevees had started to perk up a little. Two of them, at least. They were shivering violently the whole ride there, and stayed snuggled into the sweater, but they were awake. The other one? The nurse had just delivered the bad news, and right now Nico felt like he had to keep talking, and to stay angry, or he was going to break down and cry. The whole car ride he’d been telling himself over and over not to get attached, that they might not make it, and there was a good chance they were kidnapped and would be reunited with their trainers. But the little creatures had pressed themselves against him, and they were making little mewling cries of distress, and he’d just done what he could to try to comfort them. One of them was a bit more curious, and started looking around the cop car after a bit. The other had managed to crawl up inside his t-shirt. She was still damp and freezing to the touch.

The nurse sighed and nodded. She was an older woman, with brown hair that was gray at the roots. “They’re common, yeah. But that cuts both ways. There are so many born in captivity every year that there aren’t always enough homes for them.” She grimaced. “These kits are six or seven months old, probably from the same litter. Probably an unlicensed breeder: the scanners didn’t pick up any Pokeball ID.” Captive Pokemon in Tektos were required by law to have a registered Pokeball by the age of four months. “I don’t think there was much effort put into finding homes for them, either. They’re almost a pound underweight, and based on all the partially-healed injuries it’s possible they were used as Grinders.”

Nico winced. Pokemon battling, real Pokemon battling, was a carefully regulated sport, and it was mostly safe. There were occasionally accidents, but Pokemon in league-sanctioned battles had a rate of serious injury several times lower than professional footballers. But there were illegal underground battles, and even in the League occasionally someone would get caught doing something cruel or unethical. Like Grinding. The best way for a Pokemon to get better, aside from practicing individual moves and techniques with their trainers, was battling against other skilled opponents who could challenge them. But Grinding meant beating much weaker Pokemon over, and over, and over… just using them as target practice. It wasn’t good even for the Pokemon being trained, and for the ‘Grinder’ it was cruel and dangerous. But…

“Why’d they stop, then?” he asked. “I mean… wouldn’t people who were doing that just… keep them until they died or got too badly hurt to run or defend themselves at all? Why’d they try to drown the whole litter at the same time?”

“If I had to guess, because they got found out and were trying to get rid of evidence,” the nurse scowled. “Since the old commissioner got voted out a lot of these underground fighting rings have been getting busted.”

“Oh.” Nico balled his fists. “Yeah. Good. I mean, not that they were destroying evidence, but… y’know, hopefully that means the sons of bitches who did this’ll get caught soon.”

“Anyway...” the woman scratched the back of her head. “The good news is, both of the little girls you brought in today seem to be in stable condition. We’re going to keep them here for observation for at least another night. After that, they don’t have any Pokeball IDs as I said, so they don’t legally have a trainer at this point. You and your friend are licensed trainers, so you have the first claim to any abandoned Pokemon you capture, even if you didn’t use a Pokeball.”

“Okay. Uhh… I mean I, uhh… I’ll have to think about it!” Nico stuttered. He hastily excused himself and claimed he needed to call a couple of people. Erin had already left by then. He was going to talk to her at some point, just to make sure, but she’d said the other day that after Slana she wasn’t going to be ready for another Pokemon for a while. She had four, which was technically enough to earn seven of the eight gym badges needed to qualify for Regionals even if it would be much harder to do so. Nico only had Kenna and Zagi, so to even challenge a gym for his second badge he’d have to add another Pokemon to his team.

But that was the thing. Even if he took in the Eevees, he’d still have a team of two. They were so young it would be a couple of months before it was even physically safe for them to battle, and mentally? Maybe never. If he remembered right one of the semifinalists in last year’s regional championship had a rescued grinder Pokemon on his team, but the interviewers had focused on that precisely because it was rare. There was no guarantee they’d even be okay with being anywhere near a battling arena, not if  the sights and sounds were a constant reminder of whatever abuse they’d gone through. And it wouldn’t be fair to them to be shut in their balls every time he had a practice match with another trainer, or during sparring sessions while he was spending time with the others. If what they needed was a quiet home, one that was always in the same place and never involved crashing in cheap rooms or on couches at Pokemon Centers, he couldn’t provide that. At a minimum he could be taking care of an extra two Pokemon. A trainer could have more than six and just select which six would be ‘available’ before a battle, and quite a few did, but it was more work, more mouths to feed, more sleeping space… then again, some trainers had Onix or Gyrados.

And, well… really, Nico wasn’t sure about an Eevee at all. They were cute, but the old saying was: ‘Never bring home a Pokemon if you aren’t prepared to care for its fully evolved form’ or something like that. And usually it was pretty straightforward, but Eevee could take any of fifteen different forms, all of different types, all with different needs. Vaporeons needed water to swim in, Jolteons needed lots of space to run, Leafeons were miserable in places with long, cold, dark winters, Glaceons were miserable in tropical climates, Umbreons liked to be active at two AM, Terreons needed places to dig, and so on. It wasn’t completely unpredictable, because they were more likely to take a form suited to their environment, and you could often see the signs in their personality and behavior, but you couldn’t know for sure unless you used an evolutionary stone or made sure to only train in certain locations or at certain times of day or something.

But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to keep them. It was like some part of him had bonded with the little creatures during that car ride. Like he’d felt a connection. But that was stupid. The poor things were so out of it that he hadn’t really even met them. He’d felt something with Kenna from the first few minutes, but she’d been awake, and aware of her surroundings, and he’d gotten to know her a bit and made sure she liked him before deciding on her as his starter. Then again, new parents always talked about how much they loved their babies even when they couldn’t do much besides sleep and cry. But then again, maybe if people could tell who their kids were before they had them, the world might be a better place. Maybe there’d be fewer kids getting dragged across the ocean to Hoenn every summer so their moms could pretend they actually liked spending time with them for a week or two and the other ten telling them to just go outside and make some friends if they were bored. Maybe there’d be fewer kids getting expensive presents in the mail every holiday season that were lovingly picked out for the kid they wished they had. Nico stared at the contacts list on his phone. No… he felt like he could only tell her the good parts of being a trainer, the easy parts. What would she even say? He was going to call Dad at some point, but he was at work right now, and all he ever really said about it besides ‘You’re the trainer, it’s your call’ was no Pokemon that wouldn’t fit in the apartment.

Eventually Nico made up his mind to make up his mind later. He was planning to stick around Rutile Town for a while anyway, so he’d wait until he could actually get to know the Eevees and they’d fully recovered. He tried to take his mind off it. Go to the nearest gym – Rutile didn’t have one of the major gyms where a badge was needed to qualify for Regionals, but there were two smaller ones – and work on hiding an Ember’s direction with Smokescreen for Kenna and Zagi’s control over Quick Attack. Get dinner, and of course now the sun had gone down so the Jivuyena was stir-crazy but the temperature had also dropped a few degrees so she didn’t want to actually get her energy out outdoors. But at some point, late in the evening, he found himself scrolling through lists of name ideas on the internet, and that was the last thing he remembered doing before he fell asleep sprawled across a couch in the Pokemon Center lobby, sweating like a pig in his hoodie with a living hot water bottle curled up on his chest.

He was shocked awake by a crash like furniture being knocked over. He pushed himself upright, dislodging Kenna and sending her tumbling off the sofa with a startled grunt, then fell off himself, landing hard on his elbow. His curse probably woke up anyone who’d managed to sleep through the first noise.

“Ow! Son of a… what the hell?” He stood up way too fast and was almost brought back down by a headrush.

Other voices around him expressed similar sentiments. There were only a couple of other trainers in the lobby at this time of night – the clock by the Clinic check-in desk said 2:30 in the morning. Erin had long since gone to bed in the actual room she’d rented. The lodging side of the Pokemon center didn’t get that many visitors staying for more than a night or two since there wasn’t a major gym in Rutile and the area wasn’t that popular for catching wild Pokemon. No one was camped out in the lobby for lack of space. The only reason to stay here overnight was if you had a Pokemon that was in bad shape.

There were more crashes, and high-pitched screams. Only some of them sounded human. The other trainers reached for the Pokeballs on their belts. Nico did the same, then remembered both his Pokemon were already out. Kenna cackled and stalked towards the doors to the clinic area, wisps of smoke rising from her back. Zagi stayed perched on the back of the sofa, fur standing on end and sparking.

Then the doors flew open. A young man stumbled out, half dragging an older, heavyset woman. Both of them wore nurses’ scrubs, but their clothes were torn. His glasses were bent and missing a lens, and his arm was covered in blood. He helped the woman to a chair, and shouted in a shaking voice: “Everybody stay calm! Stay calm and get clear of the lobby, now!”

The effect was anything but calming. A dozen possibilities raced through Nico’s mind. An earthquake? A gas explosion? Pokemon thieves? - Rutile did have a gang problem. An out-of-control Pokemon? A truck crashing into the building? “What happened? What’s going on?”

“Keep your Pokemon in their balls!” the female nurse snapped at a trainer who had just brought out a Scyther.

The man zeroed in on Nico. “Are you the kid that brought the Eevees in today?”

“Uhh – yeah – I – yeah, that was me,” Nico stuttered. “What’s wrong? Did something-”

“One of them had what’s called a secondary drowning episode – water in the lungs caused inflammation and more fluid accumulation.”

“Oh, no.”

“We were doing everything we could, but-”

Something flung the doors open again, so hard it seemed like they would come off their hinges. They hit the wall with an earsplitting bang, and a creature skidded into the lobby. Nico caught a glimpse of blazing orange eyes wreathed in a halo of unearthly pale blue flame. It was like the air was sucked out of the room. Goosebumps formed on his skin.

“Jesus!” one of the other trainers staggered back, and reached for a Pokeball. The creature’s head snapped towards the sound.

“I said keep them in their balls!” The nurse’s voice was almost as frightening as the creature… the Pokemon. The shock had gone away a little bit with its eyes off him, and he could see it more clearly now. It was small, not much bigger than a Vulpix or an adult Eevee, with four legs and a slender body. It was almost engulfed in the ethereal fire, making it look bigger than it was, but the energy was concentrated around its neck, paws, ears, and tail. Underneath the fire was dark gray-purple fur. The large head, the short muzzle, the long, diamond-shaped ears...

Nico’s jaw dropped. He recognized this Pokemon. At least, he recognized the evolutionary line for sure, and he could guess the type. “Is… is that a Styxeon?” Eevee could evolve into any type except Bug and Dragon, but the ghost and poison forms were the rarest. He couldn’t remember how they even evolved. Were they the ones that evolved through trading? No, he was pretty sure there was some kind of item involved usually because very few locations had a big enough energy concentration…

The man nodded. “Traumatic Evolution. I’ve never seen it happen before! She suddenly went downhill and we were trying to get her on oxygen, but… basically her body thought it was about to die and… forced itself to evolve as a last resort! But her Aftermath tore half the room apart, and she panicked and attacked us!”

Nico couldn’t speak. It clicked together in his brain. Ghost-type… this was one of the Eevees he’d pulled from the river. And panicked was right. Panicked and furious. The Styxeon darted one way, then the other, claws skidding on the linoleum. She was hissing and spitting and screaming at everyone and everything around her. The other two trainers hurriedly backed away, and the guy with the Scyther recalled it. Zagi kept his distance, but Kenna slowly advanced on her, snarling.

“Kenna, stay back!” Nico ordered. “Kenna, stay back! Damnit… Kenna, return! Zagi, return!”

He got them back in their Pokeballs just in time. The ghost-type just hissed and recoiled at first, but stood her ground until Nico tried to call his own Pokemon back. She flinched and shrank away with a frightened yelp, but then lunged without warning, swiping at the red beam of energy with a ragged dark purple plume trailing from her claws. Her gaze followed it straight back to Nico’s hand, and the glowing eyes met his. He hurriedly looked away, but the feeling of unease, of fear, was visceral.

“Uh… don’t you guys have Pokemon with moves that can… cause sleep or something?” Nico asked the nurses.

“Yes, but right now using any move on her’s dangerous.” The female nurse had hauled herself to her feet and was using a chair as a makeshift walker to back away. “She’s having a massive power surge, but she’s also very weak from the strain of evolving too early. We can’t put any more stress on her.”

“Do you have a Heal Ball on you?” the man asked. He had a Pokeball in his hand, but judging by the sticker on it it already had an occupant.

“No. Sorry.”

“Then let’s just try and get her calmed down on her own and make sure she doesn’t get out of this building.” The man edged towards the Styxeon, but an enraged snarl sent him scurrying back, nearly tripping over a chair. He glanced down at his bloody sleeve.

That left Nico as the only thing standing between the Styxeon and the exit. His fingers brushed the empty Pokeball he had on his belt. No. He didn’t know if he could, even as a last resort. He could never forgive himself if something happened. The way she’d reacted… she’d been scared of Kenna, but not the way she’d been scared of him raising his voice.

“Hey… remember me?” He tried to keep his voice as level as possible. Calm, not aggressive but not fearful either. “I saved you, remember?” Avoid eye contact, avoid staring, but don’t obviously look away. She responded with a low, rumbling growl. “I’m not gonna hurt you, girl.”

The Pokemon moved closer, but off to the side, sinking into a low crouch. That was trouble. He followed her eyes. Uh oh. The door to the lodging area! He shuffled sideways to block her way.“Ah-ah, no, you’ve got to stay -” Then the last word became a startled yell. The Styxeon tensed. Her eyes widened, but she sprang with an unearthly screech. Nico threw his arms up to try to protect his face, but something slammed into his chest, bowling him over. His sneaker caught the edge of the carpet, but he barely even felt his head hit the floor. Her voice was boring into his ears, boring into his brain like a dentist’s drill. Claws dug into his chest, but the thing that had tackled him wasn’t the Eevee he’d saved from the river. Her skin went translucent, and then… then it was gone, rotting and crumbling away in an instant with heatless blue fire bursting from the seams. Flesh sloughed away from bone. Images flashed in front of – no, behind Nico’s eyes like a kaleidoscope on a bad acid trip, and horrible, stomach churning sensations forced themselves on him. Cold, overwhelming cold, icy water and thrashing bodies kicking and clawing at him and burning lungs, pitch blackness and spinning vertigo, and then the stabbing agony of the cold being inside him. Cold metal bars against raw flesh, the smell of dried blood and ammonia and dirty dishes left in the sink too long, with the constant buzz of flies around him, insects landing on him, insects biting, things crawling on him, things moving under his skin. His arms and hands gray, and clammy, and the skin splitting and a writhing mass of foaming maggots erupting from the wound instead of blood. And pinning him to the ground was a decaying, mummified carcass, scraps of ragged fur and blackened skin clinging to a skeleton, orange pinpricks of fire blazing in the black void of empty sockets, a bare skull screaming with its fangs just inches from his face.

Then the fluorescent lights of the Pokemon Center Lobby were spinning somewhere above him, and he was lying flat on his back on the thin carpet. His head felt like it had split open. The Styxeon leapt off his chest, but stumbled, looking wildly this way and that. People were shouting, and there was a Jumpluff hovering near the ceiling. It was a few seconds before Nico could make out voices or even move. He rolled onto his stomach and lifted himself to his hands and knees. His heart… it was so fast… he felt faint, and a bead of sweat dripped from his nose. His ears were still ringing.

“Fuck, bro, you okay?” someone asked. “You went down pretty hard!”

“I’m - okay! Yeah! I’m - okay!” He wasn’t okay. He’d hit his head so hard his neck and jaw hurt, and he felt like he was going to puke. He was hyperventilating so badly he could barely get out one word per breath. But the living nightmare had vanished, and in its place a terrified Pokemon was running frantically back and forth, looking for an escape route that didn’t exist. She was panting, the blue fire was sputtering, and there was so much fear in those eyes!

“Styxeon! Calm down, you’ve gotta – calm down or you’ll hurt yourself!” Nico got to his feet on pure adrenaline, but stumbled and had to steady himself against a chair. The Pokemon’s feet slid out from under her. She landed hard, and took a couple of tries to get back up, paws scrabbling on the linoleum. He staggered towards her, trying to herd her away from the door, ignoring the shouts from him to get away. He wanted to yell at them to shut the fuck up. They were hurting his head, and she was flinching at every one. Stop scaring her, you morons!

She tried to dart past Nico again, but lost her nerve at the last second and ended up cornering herself between him, the wall, and the back of a sofa. She was still screaming her head off with every breath, but the ghostly flames around her gave out. There was no hostility anymore, just desperate terror.

“It’s all right… it’s all right...” Nico sank to his knees. “I’m not going to come any closer, okay? Just calm down… calm down… shh...”

The Styxeon shrank back, her ears flat against her head and her tail tucked between her legs. Her whole body was shaking like a leaf, and her back was hunched over. She bumped into the wall, and jolted forward with a startled yelp, looking back like she hadn’t known it was there.

“You’re safe, girl… nobody’s going to hurt you – ah, damnit...”

The terrified Pokemon’s gaze darted back and forth. Nico, the wall, the couch, the other people and Jumpluff a ways behind him. Her wail faded into a pitiful whimper. Her enormous orange eyes filled with tears, and a puddle appeared between her back legs.

“Sweetie, sweetie, stop! Or – ah, jeeze – at least get your tail out of the way – fuck...” Nico pressed his hand to his chest. His heart still wouldn’t slow down. Oh, now he was panicking? What the hell was he supposed to do? This wasn’t something he’d had to deal with as a trainer. Most Pokemon were way faster to house train than human babies. Unless they were left in their ball too long or weren’t given a chance to go beforehand, it was very rare for healthy Pokemon more than a couple of months old to have accidents. The Eevees should have been old enough. But if those… hallucinations were real, if they were bits of memory, maybe they’d spent most of their lives locked in cages. Had they never learned?

No… no, it was worse. The poor Styxeon looked utterly horrified. There was no way she’d meant to, she’d just been so scared… and the little creature was still cowering, looking at him and flinching away like she expected to be hit. She looked down at her paws with an expression of disgust, but shrank back against the wall, trying to make herself as small as possible, her crouch getting deeper and deeper until she sat down on the soaked tile, sobbing violently.

It was heartbreaking. All Nico could do was keep saying whatever he could think of to try to reassure her. By now the noise had caused a small crowd of trainers from upstairs to gather. She wouldn’t let anyone else anywhere near her, and wouldn’t leave the corner even when Nico backed off, but she at least tolerated his presence. He scooted closer an inch at a time, until his outstretched hand was a couple of steps out of her reach. Close enough that she still had to come to him. She reached forward timidly, jerking back at the slightest movement, but eventually she came close enough to sniff his hand.

She shied away again, but after a minute repeated the gesture two more times, as if to prove to herself that she wasn’t imagining it. She let out a soft whine, and started to tremble and cry again. But then… she closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his palm. He was almost surprised by how soft and warm her fur was. Part of him had expected to feel nothing but bone.

Nico sighed, and rubbed his aching head. That was the last straw. “Welp.” He muttered to himself. “Guess I have a Pokemon now.” Two really. There was no way he was going to separate the two siblings, especially after everything they’d been through. “Good girl, Sedna.” The moment he said the name, he started second-guessing himself. It was one of the ones he’d been considering in spite of everything about it. According to the website he’d found, Sedna was a sea goddess from a region in the far north. The reason was different in different versions of the story, but in all of them she was thrown into the ocean by her father and drowned, but lived on as a sea goddess or something. It kind of fit, but at the same time it didn’t because it was so morbid to give one of the Eevees a name like that. He kind of liked the way it sounded, but he was still leaning against it because it would be kind of weird for anything but a Glaceon or Vaporeon anyway, and… Wait. Sedna was the ruler of the underworld too, wasn’t she? The cold, lightless depths at the bottom of the ocean? No, that was almost too good a name for a Ghost-type.

Sedna calmed down a little after the crowd was shooed away. Most of the trainers had gone back to bed, and the other two who were staying in the lobby retreated to the other side. It was just Nico, Erin, and the two nurses. They’d admitted defeat on trying to get close enough to Sedna to check that her evolution had actually cleared all the fluid from her lungs, but said it should have. They were waiting for a nurse from another Pokemon Center to relieve them, and a friend to give them a ride to the hospital. Sedna had bitten and clawed the man’s arm, badly enough that he’d need stitches. The woman had fallen and twisted her ankle trying to run after getting hit with an Astonish – the same move the Styxeon had used on him. It was probably a sprain, she said, but a bad enough one to need medical attention, and an X-ray just to be sure. Nico was almost glad he’d been tackled. They kept suggesting that he should go to the hospital as well, warning him about a possible concussion. They’d taken his pulse and blood pressure too, and said they were way higher than a teenager’s should have been, and that if they weren’t back to normal by morning, he needed to see a doctor.

But he was putting that off until morning. Or probably afternoon since after this ordeal there was no way he was waking up early. Sedna needed him. She’d let Erin get closer than anyone else but Nico, but he was the only one she’d let touch her, and even then it was only reluctantly. Nico would have loved if he could just get her to follow him to his room and make her a nest of blankets or towels so she’d have somewhere warm and comfortable to sleep but still have some space, and then he could get some sleep. But the poor thing was cowering in a puddle of her own urine. There was no way in hell he was going to bed and leaving her in that state.

He was going to have to give her a bath. He’d only actually had to bathe a Pokemon once, a few days ago after another trainer’s Swampert had knocked out his whole team in a practice battle. Neither of his Pokemon normally needed or tolerated baths, but Kenna was too tired to get the mud out of her fur with fire. She’d put up with getting wet, but Nico had nearly scalded himself getting the water hot enough for her and she’d been grumpy the rest of the day. Sedna wasn’t a fire-type or electric-type, but she’d been tied up and thrown in a freezing river. Nico doubted she was going to enjoy it. He wished he could just use a couple washcloths, but her hind legs and tail had gotten too wet for that to be enough.

Even getting her anywhere near a shower turned out to be a challenge. This sure as hell wasn’t a good time to try to introduce her to Pokeballs, so his plan was to wrap her in a towel and carry her up to his room in it. It took twenty minutes of sitting there freezing in a pair of swim trunks to even coax her onto the towel. It was crazy how much difference clothing made, although he had also had a fire-type on his lap earlier. Sedna was still shivering periodically – he wasn’t sure if it was from cold or fear.

“You cold, girl?” He slowly gathered up the corners of the towel, trying not to make any sudden movement. “This is going to be nice and warm, okay? I’m just going to pick you up, and – whoa, whoa, Sedna, it’s okay!”

But as soon as he tried to wrap the towel over her back, she freaked out again, trying to jump away with a noise that was half growl, half yelp. Her foot got caught on it, pulling her off balance, and as she tried to run she slipped on the wet floor and fell. Back to square one. The poor creature was even worse off than before, and she refused to set a single paw on the towel again. Had it reminded her of the bag she’d been stuffed into, Nico wondered?

He wasn’t sure if she’d let him pick her up at all, at least not long enough to carry her upstairs. If he could wipe her paws off and lead her into the bathroom, maybe he could at least lift her into the tub. But her following him was a big if. Maybe if he kind of wrapped the towel around his arms and chest, it would feel less like being shoved in a burlap sack? It was worth a try, at least.

“All right, Sedna. I have to pick you up. Just hold still, girl. That’s it...” He kept his voice low and moved as slowly and smoothly as he could. “Come’ere… come’ere...” He waited until he was almost touching her, then moved fast, like he was trying to catch a spider under an overturned cup without it darting away and getting crushed under the edge. He scooped Sedna up with one arm supporting her hindquarters and one under her chest, and stood up holding her tightly. Her eyes immediately widened and she tensed, squirming in his grip. She growled softly.

“It’s okay! It’s okay, girl! I’m not gonna hurt you!” Nico tried to reassure her. He could feel her heartbeat pounding against his chest like a jackhammer. And she was so light. Styxeon was the smallest of the Eeveelutions by a wide margin, around fifteen kilos from what he’d looked up. But Sedna couldn’t have been more than ten, probably more like eight. “I’m trying to help you, please don’t maul me… Good girl...” She was relaxing a little bit, and the growling had stopped. “Okay, I’m going to bring you upstairs...” Then he felt something cold against his arm. Had the towel just soaked through? “Ew, ew, ew, fuck! Erin! Hey, Erin, help me with the door please, my arms are kinda full!”

He marched the Pokemon upstairs as fast as he could without jostling her. He nearly had a heart attack when he remembered he’d left his key in his room when he changed, but luckily Past Nico had apparently also left the door cracked. He shoved the bathmat aside with his heel and tried to set her down gently, but as soon as she loosened his grip she wriggled and jumped out of his arms. She landed hard, her front legs sliding out from under her and her chin hitting the tile with a loud ‘Thwok’ sound. Nico winced. Pokemon weren’t easy to injure, but that had to hurt. “You okay, girl?”

Sedna looked around the room with quivering eyes. She stood rooted to the spot with her tail tucked under, then looked up at him with heart-wrenching uncertainty.

Nico sighed. “Sedna, there’s nothing scary about this.” He slid the door shut behind them and turned the lock. “It’s just a shower. Can you get in the bathtub? Come on girl, get in!” He pulled the sliding shower door aside and patted the rim of the tub. No luck. When he tried to lift her in she twisted away with a warning hiss. “Okay, fine. How about I get in the shower?” He stepped into the tub, turned the shower on, and immediately let out a string of curses until he got the showerhead pointed at the wall.

“Fucking freezing! I’m an idiot!” Sedna, and half the bathroom floor, had gotten misted by the spray. She shook her head violently and sneezed. Not a good start. Nico waited until the water was actually hot, then made a big show of rinsing himself off, including sticking his head under the shower. “See? The water isn’t dangerous! I’m not melting!” He picked up the bottle of shampoo. It had a picture of a smiling Pikachu covered in suds on the front. ‘For fine-textured fur,’ the label read. ‘Contains 15 relaxing herbs.’ Perfect. Pokemon Centers generally assumed trainers were capable of buying their own personal hygiene products, and apart form hand soap everything stocked in the rooms was Pokemon-safe products of various kinds. Most of them were human-safe too though, and it was a long-running joke that you could identify a traveling trainer by smell because everyone was too cheap, too lazy, or too weight-conscious to buy separate soap for themselves. Nico certainly didn’t bother. But screw it, he didn’t need to wash his hair tonight anyway.

It took a long time to get Sedna used to the idea. Nico was glad the Pokemon Center had a good water heater. She pawed at the door at first, but when she’d given up on escaping she started to watch him with exhausted curiosity. She peered over the edge of the bathtub, but flinched and backed away whenever a drop of water hit her. Eventually, though, Nico was able to get her to sniff his hand, then let him touch her with wet hands, and finally… the moment of truth.

“C’mere, sweetie. I promise this isn’t going to hurt you.” Nico leaned out of the tub, got both hands around Sedna’s chest, made sure she wasn’t struggling against that, and lifted her in. She immediately went stiff as a board and splayed her legs and claws out, letting out a high whine. She made a halfhearted attempt to climb back out when he set her down, but didn’t shred his arm when he gently held her shoulders down while he slid the door closed. When she saw there was no escape route, she looked pitifully up at him with her ears flat against her head, and shrank against the far wall of the tub. Her back paws slid uselessly on the steep wall. Her tail was between her legs again, and she started to shiver as if in anticipation of what was going to happen.

“I’m so sorry, girl. I have to do this. I’m not trying to torture you!” Nico said. Sedna seemed to have accepted her fate, but it seemed like she hadn’t so much realized it wasn’t bad so much as she was catatonic from fear and exhaustion. Part of him just wanted to get it over with – it wasn’t going to be unpleasant for her one way or another, so why make the process take longer? That was what he’d done with Kenna – helped out by making the water so hot he could hardly stand to touch it – but her discomfort had been mostly physical. Sedna was scared. He had to be as gentle and patient with her as he could so she wouldn’t associate this with being hurt.

He sighed, and sat down with the trembling Styxeon, and went through the process of letting her sniff his hand, then working up to petting her and getting her fur damp, then turning the showerhead on the wall so the mist came down on her, before finally adjusting it to its gentlest setting and spraying her directly. But something had changed. She was still trying to make herself as small as possible as if that would make the water miss her, but she wasn’t pressing herself against the wall anymore. It was more like she was trying to use him as a makeshift shelter. At first she hovered a few centimeters away, but soon she was pressing herself against his legs, making soft, plaintive noises.

If she was trying to make him feel so guilty he stopped, she was damn close. Nico wanted to cry. This poor, sweet Pokemon… He knelt next to her, stroking her sodden head and shoulders with one hand. He pulled the showerhead almost to the floor, aiming it upward to make sure he got the areas that were why she needed a bath in the first place. By now Sedna was as thoroughly soaked as when he’d pulled her out of the river. Once again he was surprised by how skinny she was under the soft, fluffy coat of fur that was now completely plastered to her body. It was worse now than when she was an Eevee, because her new form was naturally more slender, and evolving without getting a chance to build up energy must have burned off whatever body fat she had. She wasn’t emaciated, but ribs and some of the bumps of her spine were showing.

Actually washing her was the hardest part. He dabbed about three times as much shampoo on the washcloth as he probably needed, but the relaxing formula had no discernible effect. Sedna wasn’t biting or clawing, but she was so tense it was like trying to wash a statue, if statues shivered and flinched when he touched a bruise a spot that hurt and sometimes struggled. Struggle wasn’t totally the right word, because she was too strong for him to stop her, but the foam had turned the whole tub into a slip ‘n slide, and when she tried to pull away or climb to freedom she kept falling. He was trying to be gentle, but when he washed her paws he found bruises and scabs where the zipties had bound her wrists and ankles. There were smaller wounds too, that must have been from being kicked and bitten and clawed by her siblings as they tried to free themselves. At least, he was hoping that they weren’t from before that.

He saved the worst for last: her back legs and tail. He’d gotten everything else besides her head – even if the shampoo wasn’t harmful to get in her eyes or mouth it would probably still sting – and he was hoping she’d get at least a little used to being washed. Now though, he was wishing he’d just gotten it over with, because it seemed like Sedna had tolerated it as long as she could, and now she was at her limit.

“Come on, sweetie, I have to get all of you clean!” Nico pleaded. The Styxeon was pressed against the drain-side wall now, giving him a look of utter betrayal, like he really had tried to drown her again. But she didn’t move an inch of her own free will, and he ended up practically having to wrestle her tail from between her legs with a soapy washcloth while trying to restrain the soaked, slippery Pokemon one-handed. It was almost as uncomfortable for him as it was for her. He found out the hard way that yes, the shampoo really did sting like hell to get into his eyes or in an open wound. Not to mention it tasted awful. And he was genuinely afraid that what little trust Sedna had in him had been shattered.

But as he was checking that the scratches weren’t too deep while he gave Sedna a few minutes to recover before he rinsed her off, something changed. Sedna timidly crept up to him, her head lowered and her long ears folded down so the tips almost brushed the floor of the tub. Without thinking about it, he reached out and stroked her head. She jerked away at first, but more startled then scared this time. She approached him again, and the next thing he knew she was on his lap, dripping suds and pressing her soaking wet body against his chest. She was shaking again, and her breathing was fast and sharp like she was crying too quietly to be heard over the running water.

She stayed there the entire time as he turned the showerhead on her again, making sure he got every last bit of shampoo out of her fur. She leaped out of the tub as soon as he opened the door – and slipped and fell on the tile again – but this time she didn’t stop him from wrapping her in a towel. Her fur was too thick to get completely dry without a hair dryer, which he didn’t have and would probably have scared her anyway. He dried her off as thoroughly as she could, but even after he’d dried himself off, changed, and gotten Kenna and Zagi to settle down, she was still damp when he carried her to bed. Kenna was suspicious of Sedna, but luckily she hadn’t seen the worst of the freakout. She sniffed her a few times, then groaned and curled up near the end of the bed. Zagi was already out cold on the clothes Nico had tossed on the floor.

Sedna’s blinking was sluggish, and she kept staring blankly into space with her eyelids slowly descending. Nico was on the verge of passing out, too. Was he supposed to go to sleep with a concussion? For how long? It had been at least an hour. Was that enough? If he was concussed it probably wasn’t that bad anyway. He’d been able to stand up straight, have a conversation… he was kind of slurring his speech now, but that was probably caused by a serious medical condition called Four in the Damn Morning. Fuck it. Bed. He pulled the blankets back and laid the last remaining dry towel out on the mattress. Without the heat of the shower on her she kept shivering, and he figured an extra layer would help keep her warm. Plus, if damp sheets were like damp pillowcases, they’d be cold and uncomfortable to sleep on.

He patted the mattress. Sedna was sitting on the floor looking confused and uncomfortable. She looked up, but didn’t seem to understand what the gesture meant. He tried again, calling: “Sedna! Come on up, girl! Come on, can you jump up here?” If she actually wanted to sleep on the floor, that was fine, but it didn’t seem like she was scared of coming within ten feet of him anymore. She sniffed at the mattress uncertainly.

Nico sighed. He slid out of bed, and picked the Styxeon up without resistance. “Come on, sweetie. Up you go.” She slumped onto the mattress listlessly, staring at him with an expression he couldn’t quite identify. “What’s wrong?” he asked. He reached a hand out slowly over her head, but she flinched, closing her eyes and backing away until one paw slid of the edge of the bed. “Sorry! I’m sorry, girl! It’s okay for you to be up here!”

Sedna timidly padded back to the towel, inching one paw at a time forward. With a faint sigh she started to knead at it with her forepaws. “Good girl,” Nico said. He rolled over to turn out the light, but when he rolled back over he was met with a pair of mournful orange eyes staring into his. He froze, barely daring to breathe. He closed his eyes, but the memory of the ghoulish, half-skeletal figure on top of his chest returned.

“Ugh… I think you’re gonna give me nightmares, girl...” he muttered. “What do you need?”

The glowing eyes closed, leaving the room lit only by the faint city lights through the curtains. Nico felt the weight on the mattress next to him get closer. With a soft groan that faded to a whine, Sedna snuggled up against his chest, resting her head under his chin. “Oh, sweetie...” he whispered. He could feel the chill of her damp fur through his pajamas, but her body was warm. And breathing – little tense, shallow breaths, but she was breathing. She smelled like lavender, almost overpowering the scent of wet fur. She was alive. The monster that had nearly given him a heart attack wasn’t real – or in a way it was, but it was made of Sedna’s own fear, of her memories, mixed with her kind’s natural power. He’d just gotten a glimpse of what had to be inside the poor little creature’s head.

She was still shivering, her breathing still occasionally lapsing into soft crying. Nico pulled the covers up and folded the towel over her. She’d dragged it over to the middle of the bed before lying down next to him. He couldn’t help smiling. That was just adorable! He just hoped it wasn’t because she thought she’d be in trouble for lying directly on the sheets. He couldn’t wrap his head around how anyone could possibly have not just abandoned this creature, but tried to murder her, and her siblings. Only… they’d succeeded. Only two of the Eevees had made it. A sobering thought occurred to him. Did Sedna know? Did she know three of them had died? Did she know any of them had lived? There were a lot of different legends about Ghost-Types. In folklore some species guided lost souls to the underworld.

But myths didn’t mean much here. Sedna was confused, alone, and Nico was sure one way or another she missed her brothers and sisters. This was a Pokemon who was scared of people, and for all he knew had never been treated with kindness in her life, but was clinging to the only source of comfort that was even the tiniest bit familiar. Tomorrow he’d have to bring her in for a checkup, and hopefully she’d be able to visit her sister even if she wasn’t in good enough shape to leave the Pokemon Center ward yet. And then… it probably wasn’t going to be easy taking care of her, and he was still afraid he wasn’t prepared for what he was getting himself into, but he hoped this bond born of desperation would grow into something real. It already had for him.

He wrapped his arm around Sedna and held her, gently but securely. “It’s gonna be okay, Sedna,” he whispered. “Good, good girl.” He started to stroke the soft, downy fur on her head, and her breathing slowly became more even. The last thing he remembered before he fell asleep was her hugging his forearm against her chest, and pressing herself against his.

~~~

A/N:

So, uhh... kinda went way out of my comfort zone on this one. Good News: I haven’t made a character throw up onscreen for cheap Suffering Points this Whumptober (I ain’t counting Day 4 since that was in the past), which is kind of surprising. Bad News: I made a character wet herself. Which is... ugh. Anything toilet-related is a huge phobia/squick for me IRL, I wasn’t sure if I could even make myself write this one. It took for fucking ever, partly because of how long it is, but partly because of procrastinating to avoid writing the uncomfortable scene and cringing. But I had to do it For The Concept.

Basically I’ve seen a few “Caretaker helping Whumpee bathe” type prompts on here and wanted to do one of those, especially with an animal whumpee, and took inspiration from real-life experience occasionally having to bathe my family’s small dogs, who do not enjoy baths and get cold super easily. It’s pathetic and makes you feel like a horrible person for having to do this to them, which also makes it perfect for whump fics, and doing it to Sedna less than 24 hours after she was thrown in a river and nearly drowned is even better!

But that meant I needed a reason why any decent human being would be forced to give her a bath, because obviously that would be horribly traumatic, and getting into something toxic or otherwise dangerous didn’t fit into the plot. And also while doing my like half an hour of medical research I found that secondary drowning is sometimes treated using diuretic medication.

[intersex-ionality]

Re: Pokémon. Looks like it’s many factors that should’ve led to a longer cycle. GF has made it kinda obvious that they want to move on from Pokémon but can’t, and in the meanwhile struggled with the Switch. ‘Insiders’ say the cut Dex is actually a result of tech failure to import all the old models, and that either when the “beefed up” sequel or when the next is announced, they’re gonna say they ‘listened to feedback’ and readd the dex. That said, it’s better then expected but still hindered.

The thing is, I can understand cutting the dex down, sure. If you’re making all new models, all new animations, all new environments for a new platform, it makes sense to cut down on the number of those models you have to make. And that’s what they told us they were doing. So I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt.

But they’ve made no new models for existing pokemon. Most of their environments, with the exception of the overworld, are texture boxes. The textures themselves have comical resolutions, they might literally be using 256x256 in some places? I don’t even use 256px textures for making my shit ass homestuck talksprite edits for tumblr ask blogs!

They’re charging a premium price for this, well above the price of previous franchise games. It’s 50% higher than the price of XY, the game from which the vast majority of animations were imported.

It literally kills your save files for other, unrelated games.

Maybe the execs at GameFreak don’t want to be making pokemon games anymore. Fine, whatever. If we never got another pokemon game again in my life, I’d be sad, but I wouldn’t exactly go storming their offices. If they want to stop making these games, they can stop making them, either entirely, or by selling the property to someone else. I’m sure Nintendo would love to have pokemon finally be an in-house product.

The issue is the amount of flagrant labour abuses and the exorbitant manipulation of the customers.

Games this unstable get made when you don’t have enough devs, enough time, and enough QA. Games this comically hideous get made when you don’t have enough artists, design time, or art direction. Games this short, railroaded, and abrupt get made when you don’t have enough devs, dev time, or writers. Games this expensive get made when you know full well that you can exploit your customer base in addition to exploiting your labour force.

Frankly, what game freak wants is the absolute last thing I could possibly care about.

[kob131]

New "So This is Basically X" video from Jello Apocalypse is on RWBY, and it's a bunch of pretty much crapping on the show.

(Note: read the Edit section for my recollected thoughts. I’d jus rewrite the post but that’d be like covering my mistakes)

… You know what? My dog just died so I am in no mood to tolerate this bullshit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3vYbF3_TAk

A. ‘Added into the show at the last minute’ he says as his own fucking image directly states that the ‘last minute’ was the fucking Red Trailer. AKA the fucking psuedo-pilot. He had so many other chances like Neo or ABRN or the fucking Maidens but nope decided to do the ONE wrong thing.

B. ‘Hoitty Toitty Princess’ Yeah, because she was abused by her dad for years as well as watched her mother degrade into a lifeless husk. Again, could have made an actual point but decided to just spew out the most basic shit ever.

C. ‘Lose every fight she’s been in.’

*cough* WHITE TRAILER *cough*

Also: Fucking Missed Oppritunity: 3 *ding*

D. ‘Weiss hates Ruby’

That stopped in Volume 1, try again

E. ‘How many ears do they have?’

2 or 4

‘Human ears?’

Always

‘Animal ears?’

Sometimes

‘Neither?’

That’s you

‘BOTH?’

Sometimes

‘Why do some of them only have tails?’

Genetics

‘Humans are racist against the Lagoos’

Says the man who tried guilt tripping half the population through racism accusations.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 4 *ding*

E. What couldn’t find say bullshit to spew about Yang? Missed Fucking Opportunity: 5 *ding*

F. Those are fucking one offs characters. Homer’s Vegas wife isn’t referred to as a side character, why should most of these be any different?

Also: ‘Never explores any of these!’ *shows team CFVY who are getting their own fucking book*

Good to see you still suck at making a point.

G. ‘Show isn’t about the characters!’

We get it, you’re slurping the anti-RWBY crowd’s cock. Make a valid point that not everyone and their grandmother’s grandmother made years ago.

H. *tries citing Neptune, a character that had about twenty minutes of screentime total as ‘eating up’*

Are you gonna do SOMETHING worthwhile? Because these jokes fall flat with a basic knowledge of the show.

I. ‘It’s about the over the top spectacle fights!’

Which not only were far less frequent in other ‘similar’ shows but they sometimes just #ate up screentime.

Missed Fucking Oppritunity: 6 *ding*

J. *butt metal!*

*cites Flynt, a fucking JAZZ musician*

What’s next? ‘Durr, marvel movie orchestra? BAD1′

K. ‘durr, clipping issues!’

*Slaps Fist Of The Blue Sky: Re:Genesis onscreen*

Come back when you make a point.

L. Jello, at the 2:10 mark you’ve done nothing but either say the same standard bullshit (which gets disproven within a minute of research*) or make shitty Take That! jokes.

About fucking RWBY. Egoraptor’s Ocarina of Time and ScottFalco’s Pokemon videos are mocking the shit out of you because you somehow made a worse version of both, about a less subjective medium with a fucking barrel full of fish. Guess that ‘Vote’ video must’ve fried them braincells huh?

M. Dust is elemental gunpowder, how is such a basic concept too complex for you to handle?

N. ‘Steal Dust and never bring it up again!’

Probably because the ending of Volume 2 was the END GOAL of stealing the dust you dumbass.

O. The magic comes straight from the fucking gods, Semblance and Dust have been used in Remnant science. Or is my cheap ass phone magic because someone from the 17th century doesn’t know how it works.

P. *points behind Jello at the massive burly man with the title ‘Lord of the Rings’ on it’s chest*

Have fun with him.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 7 *ding*

Q. Wanna bet if the RWBY haters didn’t slurp Chibi’s cock he’d be bashing hibi instead of praising it.

R. *join the plot*

Ruby is the fucking plot.

S. So I’m guessing you’d call Hercules’ rage against Olympus and Hera ‘him getting a little mad?’

That’s okay, just like how you’d say your little ‘vote’ video was just ‘you having a little brainfart; amirite?

T. Ah yes, Volumes 1 and 2, which had the least defined characters, the most wasted screentime, the least plot, the least likablke versions of the heroes, the most side characters (INCLUDING NEPTUNE WHO YOU MOCK)-

Literally EVERYTHING you’ve spewed out your mouth was in the first two Volumes and 4 and 5 are the worst ones. Sure.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 8 *ding* (Should actually be about 8001)

U. ‘Speaking of garbage *which is a segway I could put anywhere in this video’-

Good to know you’re aware of the piss poor quality of the video. Now if only you’d learn to keep your trap shut.

V. Ozpin was never suppose to be morally grey, next.

W. …

*pulls out Qrow and Ruby and replaces it with Yang and Liar Bitch McMass Murd-I mean Raven.*

Wow, context kicks your ass.

X. Jello.

What is the plot of RWBY?

No ‘Well there IS no plot’ bullshit. Tell me. What. The plot. Is.

… You can’t can you? This is the fucking Vote video all over again. You’re talking about a subject you have no clue about, spouting off whatever you think will get you the most positive PR and did no research whatsoever, Except with the video so infamous you had to DELETE it, politics is an inherently difficult subject matter that is easy to screw up (well, not to your extent.)

This is a web show.

Made by two drunk interns and an animator who took inspiration from BLAZBLUE.

And you have NOT made a SINGLE valid point.

The closest you got was the lip movements but you CLEARLY weren’t talking about the Volumes where it mattered so fucking credit.

Y. Blah blah blah ‘Bumbleby bullshit because pander’

Z. Qrow: ‘Oh ad my sister sold me and the daughter she abandoned twice before to the literal devil. Also why I am saying the bird thing is a curse? I defended Ozpin. My sister is the one claiming it to be a curse. Because she wanted to get away from the immortal pseudo-Greek villian which is a common feeling most people would think to do since it appeals to the inherent pragmatism in humanity but I overcame it through my niece’s determination to do the right thing in the end because just being pragmatic and doing what is most likely to succeed goes against one of the few things that make human beings what we are!

… Now I’m gonna go say my political opinions like I’m an important figure and not a walking punchline only known for mildly entertaining content that has suffered such a drop the Simpsons are looking at me in pity because I have a massive ego. And then when people call me out, I’ll delete the video and mock them like the child I am.’

*cracks open a beer* I don’t care if that’s cruel. He wants to talk like he knows shit? He can take it.

Edit:

https://twitter.com/alle1304/status/1137340212315643904

Well I owe him an apology. Over thinking he was pandering to the hate mob as well as my stupid attitude.

However I still stand by a lot of what I said: He missed a LOT of opportunities to make a good point and instead went with the lowest common denominator stuff. Like with making the joke about Weiss hating Ruby. It’s not funny because the joke is based on heavily outdated information and is just blatantly untrue.

There’s a reason why his ‘Welcome to *Website*’ videos are funny. Because while it is an exaggeration of what happens on the websites, it’s still basically true. Humor works when it strikes hard, either by throwing something so absurd at you that you’re forced to laugh because you don’t understand it, so raunchy that you laugh at the absurdity in which something so wrong was said so earnestly or by saying something so true that you’re forced to laugh to make light of the situation.

Jello’s video doesn’t do any of that. It either says a bunch of basic stuff that doesn’t work with knowledge or is saying things in a satricial way that people , EARNESTLY say, basically invoking Poe’s Law on himself. (The law of ‘Without a clear indication, a satire of X can easily been taken as an earnest belief in X.’)

This isn’t to say I was justified in what I did: it’s just even in a rational state of mind, the video is too flawed to be funny.

(Also no, I don’t regret what I said about the Vote video.)

[nekoabi]

Fic Masterlist!

I finally made a post version of my masterlist, which allows it to be viewed on mobile! Everything is also available on my AO3, which is also NekoAbi. 

The Five Times Patton Smiled And The One Time It Didn’t Reach His Eyes - Angsty. Romantic Royality. Romantic Prinxiety. Implied NSFW. College AU. School AUri

Admitting It - Romantic Logicality. Kiss. Sleepy boys. Terrible Title Syndrome.

Stitches -  Hurt/Comfort. Platonic Moxiety. Patton tears.

Falling For You - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logicality. Romantic Prinxiety. Platonic LAMP. One-sided (for now). Implied NSFW dreams. Implied wet dream. Swearing. Logan and Roman being know-it-all lil pieces of shit. School AU.

Planning - Platonic LAMP. Fluffy shenanigans.

Snow - Platonic LAMP. Virgil enjoys the snow. Pain mention, Self-inflicted pain.

Calm - Platonic LAMP. Its a calm day and Virgil gets introspective. Food mention.

Library - MASTERLIST! MASTERLIST (Rewrite) Library AU. All pairings, a different pairing each chapter, ending with LAMP. Cute fluff. Falling in love in different ways. Logan, head librarian. Patton, hired work. Virgil, volunteer. Roman, volunteer.

Too Close For Comfort - Past Prinxiety. Crying, Break Up. Roman is processing a break up, maybe some music can help.

Royality vs. Analogical - Romantic Royality, Romantic Analogical. Food mention, kissing. Each relationship is different; some are loud, some are quiet.

Nerdy - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logince. High School AU. Logan’s always been a lone wolf, but recently someone’s just been playing on his mind.

Fragrance of Dark Coffee - Romantic Prinxiety. Angst. Major Character Death Prior To Events. Influenced by Ace Attorney.

On the Verge of a Heartbreak - MASTERLIST! Eventual Moxiety. Angst in later chapters. School AU.

His Last Chance - Prinxiety. Angst. Implied cheating, lots of sadness.

Prompt Fill Fic Collection - University AU. Most LAMP ships. A collection of 9 prompt fill fics.

Logan’s Birthday - Written for Logan’s Birthday 2018. Platonic LAMP. Food mention, happy crying.

Tea Break -  Patton finds Roman having some issues with homework. Platonic Royality. Food mention. School AU.

Hands - Soft Logince. Roman’s frustrated by something.

Of Princes and Potions - MASTERLIST! Pining Logince. Royal Fantasy AU. Sympathetic Deceit. Mentions of war and injury. Chapter 6 involves blood, swords, knives, injury and strong anxiety attack parallels.

Rain On Me/You’re Perfect/The Way You Held My Hand/Stupid Band - School AU. Virgil is new to the school, meets a cute boy, can’t handle it. Themes of personal isolation.Chapter 3 had allusion to self-harm and talk of injury. Based off of a songs from Emo the Musical.

If I Can’t Love Her - Based off of a song of the same name. Roceit. Sympathetic Deceit. Roman hears a new singing voice, and needs to find out who it is.

Perfect - Romantic Royality. Kissing, Playfighting. Roman and Patton begin by playfighting, end up doing something they didn’t expect.

My Hero - Romantic Moceit. Kidnapping, Gangs, Violence, Fighting. Patton is kidnapped, and all he wants is for his boyfriend to come and save him... but that would never happen... right?

Ultraviolet - Logince. Past Prinxiety. Swearing, alcohol mention, past FWB relationship. Roman’s crushing on a fellow teacher and his inner performer can really help with that.

Bad Day - Implied Romantic Mox. Panic attack. Virgil has a bad day, Patton knows how to help.

Animals Know Best - Logicality. Prinxiety. Soulmate AU. Everyone has a partner animal that chooses them which not only has traits of their soulmate, but will also lead them to their soulmate. Virgil doesn’t believe in it all too much, until he can’t help but admit it.

Insomnia - Remile. Insomnia talk, mention of sleep therapy, mention of smoking. Remy’s dealing with some really bad insomnia and he’s referred to a sleep specialist. Yet the most interesting thing is the receptionist who works there...

Torn Apart - Heavy Angst with a happy ending. Lots of violence; stabbing, cutting off limbs, strangulation, choking, head injuries. Wrath is an OC of mine, he’s an angry man. Virgil sets him off. It’s a bad time.

Lullaby for a Duke - Remus mention. Based off of Lullaby for a Princess, an MLP song and animation.

Ranking Up - MASTERLIST! Splatoon Sides. Deceit and Remus are involved. 

Lies - Virgil-centric. Angst. Unhappy Ending. Suicide, Alcohol, Dangerous Driving, Car Crash, Death, Suicide (both implied and described), Implied Abusive Deceit. Based off of Lies by McFly.

This Day Aria - Villain!Deceit. Based off of the same song from MLP:FiM.

It’s (Im)possible - Roceit. “What you just asked for is impossible” and “Fuckbuddies falling in love”.

I’m Fine! - School AU. Roman’s sent to the councillor’s office against his will. Sure, he may have mentioned something in drama, but he’s fine!

Headache - No AU. Thomas has a headache and it affects where the sides reside... and to Roman more than the others.

Paint Me - Royality. Human AU. Struggling artist Roman needs some inspiration and the stranger knocking at his door is just what he needs. Based off of Paint Me from Firebringer.

To Love a Remus - Demus. No AU. Remus is an idiot, but Deceit thinks he’s hot anyway. Blood and Injury mention. Birthday fic for @doces-e--tuga

Virgil the Small Purple Emo - Moxiety. Love Makes You Grow AU. Virgil was unloved at a young age and stopped growing. A chance meeting might change his life. Secret Santa for @midnightsdarkangel (also my first and probably last attempt at GT)

Battle Bonds - No AU. Thomas is on a Pokemon kick and its affecting his imagination more than he could... well... imagine.

Theatre Technicians are basically Vampires - Vampire/Human AU. They all live in one house, work at the same place and are vampires. Angst included about their pasts which include the following: attacks, blood, talk of death, injury, scarring and attempted suicide.

Recreating - MASTERLIST! No ships. No AU. Thomas liked to watch Disney movies. That fact was one of the least surprising things about him. He could sit down and watch almost any of the Disney movies and have a wonderful time. Sometimes, scenes from those movies got stuck in his head. He never thought anything of it. 

Love on the Fly Floor - Theatre AU. Prinxiety, Roman is crushing bad on one of the flymen for the show he’s on. When his birthday rolls around, the cast and crew give him a surprise.

While The Sides Are Away, Virgil Will Play - No AU. The sides have a day out and leave Virgil at home. They don’t expect to come home to him looking... like that.

How Not to Help Your Nerd Boyfriend Find a Swimsuit - Human AU. Intrulociet. Logan needs a swimsuit. His boyfriends want to help. They are no help. Birthday fic for @cloverlyanxious/ @maeofclubsandart

Pier Pressure - Human AU. Logince/Pining Moxiety. The four go to the lake to hang out, Roman’s mad that his brother and friend are so clearly into each other but not taking the hint.

The 5 Times Patton Tripped and the 1 Time He Fell (In Love) - Human AU. 5+1 fic. Moxiety. Patton falls a lot, has done since birth. Doesn’t mean everyone’s used to it.

Remus Kidnaps You - Idk AU... mix of canon and human, maybe? No Ship. Remus kidnaps you to play with your hair. That’s about it.

Oh My God, They Were Roommates - Human/College AU. Prinxiety. Virgil meets an old friend, gets a crush on him, walks into him basically naked, freaks out. Ends happy.

Heatwave - Sides-Are-English Human AU.  There’s a heatwave. All the roommates are shedding their usual clothing for something cooler, except one.

Explainable Coincidences - Human/Teen AU. The twins explore an abandoned hotel, but they didn’t expect others to be there too.

Don’t Think Twice - Human AU. Song Fic. Roceit. It’s the happiest day of their lives, yet they still reflect on where they started from.

Keeping It Quiet - Human/Influencer AU. Prinxiety. Virgil and Roman keep their relationship quiet on social media. Not silent, just quiet.

Don’t Drink And Livestream, Especially When You’re Famous - Human/Famous AU. Platonic Roceit. Being drunk, drinking, kissing. Janus tries to help his friend get over his ex.

A Simple Mistake With A Simple Solution - Human AU. Logince. Roman messes up, Logan’s pissed. Roman makes it easy.

Skipping Ahead A Few Steps - Human AU. Logicality. Patton brings a dog home, Logan’s baffled and confused.

Oh How The Tables Have Turned... - Royal AU. Roceit, background Intrulogical. Roman’s brother likes Roman’s retainer. Roman doesn’t think he likes his brother’s. He’s wrong.

Just Like In The Fairy Tales - Semi-Fantasy/Royal AU. Royality. Patton sneaks off to his favourite place to enjoy the view.

An Apple A Day... Hurts Like A Bitch - No AU. Platonic Sides. The 5 times Janus got apples thrown at him and the 1 time he threw one at everyone else.

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TVFH Related Stories

Pocky Day - Written for Pocky Day 2018. Shenanigans with TVFH cast and the pocky game.

Coffee Break - Virgil returns to his room and finds Reggie having problems with homework. School AU.

House Party - Roman throws a house party after a show. Mention of drunken behaviour and alcohol.

Beach Trip -  It’s hot, the gang decide to go to the beach. The night before, shenanigans ensue. Sexual implications. Relia focused.

--

FFXV Fics

Type Found - Pokemon AU. Prompto finds a Pokemon in an imperial base, saves it and plot things happen. The boys have partner pokemon.

Hair Troubles - No AU. Ignis can’t get his hair right and it’s frustrating. Prompto steps in to help.

Prompto’s Bike - Pre-Roadtrip. OT4 Chocobros. Prompto has a motorbike. The other bros really like it.

Cor’s Cooking Lesson - Pre-Roadtrip. Cor finds young Ignis attempting to cook and helps out.

[tyrantisterror]

Oh Fuck I’m TV Troping: A Short & Incomplete List of Bad Girls

Since that whole post about Bad Girls and Compassionate Male Heroes kinda blew up and the discussion just... isn’t stopping, I’ve been thinking of this trope a lot and uh, I guess I’m gonna list a bunch of examples of it since I’ve kinda been doing it already and it’d be nice to have them all in one spot I guess.  Gonna put a cut because even though I don’t want to make a huge list, I still think this is gonna be long.

4 Tried and True Bad Girls -  the following fit the archetype as I roughly defined it here pretty much to the letter.  Of course, the thing about archetypes and tropes is that you don’t have to hit every single detail to still “count,” but it’s good to have a baseline.

Jessie

A member of an international crime syndicate, a notorious thief, and a recurring antagonist for the hero, Jessie from Pokemon is an excellent example of the Bad Girl trope because if you remove female pronouns while describing her, she basically fits the stock Bad Boy traits to a T.  Aggressive and arrogant?  Check.  Prone to violent outbursts?  Check.  Intensely jealous of people who seem to have it easier?  Check.  Hidden tender side and tragic backstory?  Check.  Also she’s one half of the greatest romantic couple ever portrayed in fiction - and her counterpart is a compassionate, sweet-natured guy to boot!

Ryoko

I’m not going to fill this up with anime examples (though I probably could - Bad Girls are much more common in Japanese media), but I couldn’t resist including Ryoko, because she’s not just a Bad Girl - she’s a PIRATE, which, if my grandma’s collection of romance novels was anything to go by, is an incredibly popular occupation for a Bad Boy to have!  More than that, she’s a space pirate, the plunderer of countless worlds, wanted by the space police force and considered a villain of legendary power.  More than that, she can wield store brand lightsabers, shoot lasers out of her hands, and even spent a good chunk of time as a mummy!  Ryoko’s personality is pure Dashing Rogue, the Bad Boy Girl who’s definitely a scoundrel but, maybe, just maybe, the kind of scoundrel who’s got a good heart.  She definitely pines for love and an amount of stability, though she doesn’t want to stop traveling the stars as a boozing adventurer who gets into the most ludicrous scrapes.  Everything about Ryoko plays up the ideas of a Bad Boy romance with the flair for drama and fantasy that a space opera can provide, except the Bad Boy is a girl and the sweet ingenue heroine is a boy.

Ryoko is who you wish Jack Sparrow would be.

Faith

Faith was introduced as a second Slayer in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which was the result of magical shenanigans that suddenly rendered the whole “there can only be one slayer at a time” rule kinda moot.  Ok that’s an extremely abbreviated summary and it’s really more complicated than that but I can already feel the non-Buffy fans falling asleep so let’s stay focused.

Since Buffy is, y’know, the main character, Faith was brought on to be her foil - an example of what Buffy wasn’t, but possibly could become.  And since BtVS was a horror dramedy, Faith wasn’t a GOOD alternative - she was, explicitly, Buffy’s dark counterpart, from her brunette hair to her heavy and darker makeup to her rad leather jacket and, as the show frequently said, “slutty” wardrobe.  Faith was more violent, more sexual, and more apathetic to others than Buffy was, and holy fuck did the show just hate her for it.  Almost every character in it treated her like shit, with her sexuality in particular being a sticking point for many of them.

Faith is particularly interesting because she differs from Buffy (and the female cast at large) in almost the exact same ways that the show’s main Bad Boys, Angel and Spike, differed from its male characters - more violent, more sexual, darker clothes, etc.  But while Angel and Spike get a great deal of sympathy from the narrative, Faith... didn’t.  I mean they kinda sorta gave her some eventually, but most of it played out in the spinoff Angel, and the other characters continued to hold a grudge against her.  Faith isn’t just an good example of the Bad Girl trope - she’s an example of how the reaction to Bad Girls differs from the reaction to Bad Boys, despite them being almost exactly the same.

Vriska Serket

OH FUCK IT’S HOMESTUCK

Ok, everyone still hates Homestuck, so I won’t belabor this point, but Vriska Serket, who is infamously the most divisive character in the entire story, is absolutely a bad girl.  Arrogant, ruthless, abrasive, with a tragic backstory, a desire for both compassion and redemption, and a truly ambitious schemer, she ticks so many boxes and OH SHIT SHE’S ALSO A PIRATE.  Like Faith, Vriska was in a story that had a lot of examples of Bad Boys too, and while the fandom fucking HATES Vriska, her Bad Boy counterparts are nowhere near as divisive, with one of them being extremely popular despite being a clown who murders people.  The other one explicitly wants to commit genocide, literally saying almost exactly that, and is also far more well liked.  WHY IS THIS?

But enough of the homestucks!  Let’s move onto some...

Borderline Bad Girls - these ladies don’t fit the trope quite as neatly, but I still think they capture the jist, or at least used it as a base before experimenting in different directions.  They are, at the very least, closer to the Bad Girl archetype than its sibling tropes, the Badass Heroine and the Femme Fatale.

Jessica Jones

I’m just gonna talk about the Netflix incarnation of this character, as I have not read the comic books featuring Jessica Jones and thus cannot comment on them.

The only real strike against Jessica Jones is that she isn’t a supporting cast member, like pretty much all other Bad Girls are.  She’s the protagonist, the titular main character.  That’s a unique honor for a Bad Girl to have!  Otherwise, she fits - hard drinking, abrasive, rude, surly as hell, but with a tender heart, a tragic backstory, and a desire for redemption.  Hell she’s even wearing the Bad Girl leather jacket.

Morrigan

Ok, we’re straying a bit far here, but I’m going to try to make a case here.  Morrigan’s rudeness and abrasiveness isn’t quite as bombastic as the standard take on the Bad Girl trope - she actually phrases things very politely and speaks very softly most of the time, and is generally cordial to people when they are cordial to her.  It’s the content of what she says, rather than the way she says it, that sets most people off.  There’s also an odd naivety to Morrigan’s interactions that isn’t immediately noticeable because her vocabulary is so, well, verbose.  She doesn’t make the “ill tempered thug” impression most Bad Girls make when they’re first introduced - she instead comes off as very sophisticated yet oddly ignorant of the civilized world, which is a very different starting point for a Bad Girl.

BUT!  Morrigan’s character arc follows the rough path of a Bad Girl.  She verbalizes a lot of callous and cruel ideas about the world when you first meet her, giving the impression that she is some sort of sadistic monster.  It’s done in a very different way than the standard Bad Boy/Bad Girl, but it has the same effect - you are led to think this girl is a Bad Person very early on.  And yes, to some extent she is - but, just like any other Bad Boy/Bad Girl, her actions later on show that’s not all there is to her, that, even if she isn’t aware of it, there is a loving core to Morrigan - she wants to be good.

Like most Bad Boys/Bad Girls, it’s eventually revealed that Morrigan’s childhood situation was NOT GREAT, and that she has been the victim of abuse and some very bad parenting.  A great deal of her wickedness isn’t inherent to her, but something she was indoctrinated into - and, in TRUE Bad Boy/Bad Girl fashion, love, especially romantic love, makes her doubt her view of the world.  It begins to break apart, and she gradually learns, to her confusion, horror, and eventually, hope, that there is another way to live - a better, kinder way.

One might argue that Morrigan doesn’t fit the Bad Girl trope, but another villainous female archetype instead.  For instance, one might say she is instead a Femme Fatale, since she dresses all sexy like and whatnot - but Morrigan doesn’t really seduce people all that often in the narrative.  Early on in the first Dragon Age game you have an option to ask her to seduce a guard, and Morrigan not only reacts in disgust, but instead horrifies the guard into letting you by instead (because Morrigan is great).  The only time she does seduce someone is specifically to keep the main characters from an otherwise inevitable death via a dark magic ritual - and yes it does feel ridiculous to type that out, but 1. it makes more sense in context and 2. I think the ridiculous circumstances of this seduction kinda illustrates why it’s not really a core character trait of hers, which is why she doesn’t fit the Femme Fatale mold.  Likewise, while one could say she fits the idea of a Vain Sorceress... well, other than being pretty and using magic, Morrigian really doesn’t.  She’s not motivated by preserving her youth, and doesn’t really seem to care much for traditional beauty standards at all if her conversation with Leliana is anything to go by (though she does meet them anyway because, well, Video Games).  Morrigan doesn’t really fit any villainous female archetype perfectly, but if we accept her as a Bad Girl, she makes for a particularly interesting example.

Hexadecimal

Straying further!  Like Morrigan, one might be tempted to put Hexadecimal in the Vain Sorceress or Femme Fatale archetypes instead, but again, like Morrigan, she really doesn’t act like either of those two despite being a sexy lady who uses magic for villainous ends.  Instead she’s defined by being the sort of superhero/action adventure cartoon variety of “crazy,” which isn’t based on any real mental illness, but rather an excuse for her to cause a lot of mayhem for no real reason.  Unlike most “crazy” villains, though, Hex’s insanity is treated with sympathy by the narrative and the main hero - while most people would be willing to write Hex off as someone they’d rather live without, Bob, the hero, continually tries to reason with her and help her overcome her madness.

Most people wrote her off as a lost cause, but the hero showed her compassion.  There’s smackings of a Bad Boy in that.

As the show goes on, Bob’s compassion for Hexadecimal is repaid with her own affection, and she slowly turns from villain to hero out of a desire to not only keep Bob safe, but make sure he’s happy - and she comes to realize he can’t be happy without the people he loves.  Hex becomes a truly tragic and noble character towards the end of the show, as she knows Bob will never reciprocate her romantic affections but still remains on his side anyway, even saving the lives of people who argued against saving her.  A villain who seems like a frothing mad dog, only to be turned into a hero after the compassion of a hero makes them realize the value of human life?  That’s is SUCH a Bad Boy arc.  Hexadecimal may not fit some of the aesthetic trappings of the Bad Girl archetype, but her arc fits it perfectly.

Harley Quinn

When she was first introduced, Harley Quinn wasn’t a Bad Girl so much as she was, like, the perky love interest of a bad guy.  She wasn’t given enough focus and agency in the narrative to really fit the Bad Girl archetype.  However, in recent years she’s been retooled a bit to work independently of the character she was designed to orbit, and as a result she may be our second example of a Bad Girl protagonist.  She’s a supervillain, or at least was, and was in league with one of the worst at that.  She’s loud and aggressive in combat, has a big bombastic personality, and revels in living an anarchic lifestyle.  But, as her solo series shows, she does have a good heart deep down, adopting stray dogs and helping out fellow weirdos who have been left behind by a world that doesn’t give a damn about them.  Harley Quinn is and has always been defined by her desire to be loved, which is very much a Bad Girl sort of trait - especially since that desire often leads to her acting out, just as most Bad Boys and Bad Girls act out because, ultimately, they haven’t been shown enough love.

Plus a lot of her modern designs add a leather jacket, and it just seems that once a girl wears a leather jacket she has at least a 70% chance of being a Bad Girl.

Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee

I had no idea where to put these ladies and whether or not they fit this archetype, but I felt they had to be noted because they’re very well known examples of complicated female villains who don’t fit the Femme Fatale archetype at all, which in turn makes them feel like pretty good candidates for Bad Girl-dom.  Azula probably fits the archetype the closest, though you don’t see her desire for compassion until VERY late in the series (where she is, sadly, too far gone to get her redemption).  Mai comes in close second, though her sullen demeanor oddly fits the Badass Heroine a bit better.  And then Ty Lee... Ty Lee... I mean she’s like an even sweeter and kinder Harley Quinn, she hardly even counts as a villain except she works with the bad guys... I don’t know what we do with Ty Lee, guys.  Ty Lee’s just her own thing.